#assertion

[philosophybits]

An inference is a transition to an assertion; and so also to the behaviour that corresponds to the assertion. ‘I draw the consequences’ not only in words, but also in deeds.

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Philosophical Investigations

#philosophy #quotes #Ludwig Wittgenstein #Philosophical Investigations #inference #assertion #actions #grammar #language #meaning

[cashordashdoesntmatter]

Loved the beginning of this match - Big Drew asserting his dominance

#drew mcintyre #jd mcdonagh #jordan devlin #monday night raw #big d monday #alpha man #assertion

[truths89]

“Do not concede possibility; Assert your curiosity.”

-Zisa Aziza

#poetry #zisa aziza #negressofsaturn #evolution #energy #healing #spirituality #Autonomy #assertion #truths89 #poetsandwriters #poets on tumblr

[dbaydenny]

I am self spoken

choosing to express myself

to convey meaning

clear and concise before you,

the offense of assertion.

.

D W Eldred

#poetry #tanka #assertion

[wayti-blog]

Dogmas of every kind put assertion in the place of reason and give rise to more contention, bitterness, and want of charity than any other influence in human affairs.

Arthur Conan Doyle

#arthur conan doyle #quotes #dogmatism #thinking #open mind #truthseeking #question #observation #experience #research #critical thinking #assertion #opinion #subjectivity #objectivity #conflict #polarization #society #humanity

[free--therapy]

30 ways to set boundaries: a guide for people pleasers

Posted on November 20, 2018

An important note for my fellow recovering people-pleasers: all of the following things are 100% ok. Seriously. They may make you uncomfortable at first because you’re used to letting people ignore your needs, but OMG, I promise you’re allowed to set boundaries. Not only that, but they’ll seriously improve your life.

Keep in mind that you don’t need to use all of these techniques. Instead, cherry-pick the ones that resonate with you. Personally, I tend to start with the more subtle approaches, and only turn the dial up when needed. Here are 30 ways to set better boundaries in your life:

1)Prioritize the stuff that keeps you happy, healthy, and sane. Seriously. This is more important than helping your buddy move, talking to your Mom about her tuna salad, or returning your clients email within 26 seconds. 

2) Say no to the stuff that doesn’t interest you and explain why you’re saying no. 

3) Or say no and don’t bother offering an explanation. The truth is, you don’t need to explain yourself if you don’t want to. This is one of my favorite moves. 

4) Or say no but respectfully affirm the other person’s desire. I do this all the time, especially during negotiations. A prospective client recently asked for a payment plan that I don’t offer. I said, “I understand the desire to breakup the payments, but unfortunately that’s not an option. I understand if this is a deal breaker for you.” 

5) Say no by explaining that you need a bit of time to focus on your physical or mental health. The cool part here is that if you’re ducking out something to avoid a person or situation you dislike, saying no is a form of prioritizing your health. 

6) If you’re struggling to say no in the moment say, “Let me think about that and get back to you.” Then spend a day or two figuring out how you want to let the other person down, and say, “no.” If the person is particularly aggressive or unreasonable, just send a text. 

7) Send the call to voicemail. 

8) Wait for a few hours (or days) before returning a call / text / email. This is especially useful for imbalanced relationships where one person wants to be much closer than the other. 

9) When dealing with difficult people, inform them of the decision you’ve made instead of asking for permission or input. In other words, say, “Though I’ll really miss you and the rest of the family during the holidays, I’m going to stay in California this year” instead of, “Would it be ok with you and the family if I stayed in California for the holidays?” 

10) Take a mental health day where you ignore everything you want to ignore (including work) and focus on charming yourself. Personally, I like to binge watch Impractical Jokers, go for a walk without my phone, get takeout for dinner, and then turn my electronics off and read. 

11) There are a lot of people and activities that are great for an hour but unbearable for a day. Spend time with these people and things for only as long as you enjoy them.

12) For people who are particularly difficult and also unavoidable, only agree to hang out with them in the settings where you can tolerate them. This can be a large group, a small group, one-on-one, in places where it’s hard to interact (like a movie), only when they’re sober, whatever. 

13) If someone is really bothering you, block their email address, phone number, and social media. If that feels too extreme, change the settings on your social media accounts so that you stop receiving updates about them without unfriending them. On the other hand, if they’re really bothering you or making you feel threatened, consider getting a restraining order. 

14) One of my favorite tricks: when someone does something that you really like, point it out or give them a compliment. For some people, reinforcing positive behavior is deceptively effective. 

15) This is an important one: when someone hurts you, regardless of their intent, let them know. Say, “Hey, I doubt this was your intent, but when you did x, y, and z, it hurt.” 

16) Likewise, if something is making you uncomfortable, let the other person know. You can do this by saying, “Hey I know this kinda awkward, and I doubt it’s your intent, but when you do X it really makes me uncomfortable.” 

17) Just change the damn topic. 

18) Or, a bit more subtly: refuse to engage with topics you don’t like. Often when people have opinions I disagree with or don’t want to discuss, I’ll listen to what they say, but refuse to respond. I’ll transition into a different conversation by saying, “That’s interesting. On a different note…” 

19) If that fails, say, “For my own sanity I need to stop talking about this. Tell me about…” and then bring up any other topic or question that is likely to cause less tension. Yes, it may be awkward for a minute or two as you find the groove again, but that’s way better than endlessly suffering in silence. And if the person refuses to change the topic, it’s cool to just get up leave. Seriously. 

20) Respect other people’s boundaries. More than that, thank them for setting the boundary in the first place. You can do this by saying, “Thanks for letting me know,” when they tell you how they prefer to be treated. Respecting and reinforcing other people’s boundaries is likely to make it easier for you to respect and reinforce your own. 

21) If something has been on your mind for a long time consider talking about it. I know that leaning into these conversations can be hard. It’s also tends to be worth it. Disclaimer: when you do choose to have a hard conversation, think about your motives. If you’re doing it just to hurt the other person or to play some sort of power game with them, don’t waste your time. More on hard conversations here. 

22) If you struggle to enforce boundaries for yourself (and lord knows I did… and sometimes still do) ask for help. If there’s a particularly difficult boundary that you need to enforce, ask a friend to be there with you during or right after the conversation. You can also ask friends to help hold you accountable. 

23) An advanced move: discuss boundaries and expectations ahead of time. This tends to make more sense in some situations than others, specifically: forming new business partnerships, dealing with roommates, starting a project with a new client/boss/contractor, beginning a new phase of life, or the initial stages of love, sex, and romance. 

24) Simply refuse to share parts of your life with people who you don’t want to be close to. There are whole chapters of my life story that many of the people in my circle will never find out about. The simple truth is that I just don’t want to share certain parts of myself with them. 

25) Don’t respond to work emails or texts on the weekend unless you really want to. 

26) Only take unscheduled calls when you’re easily available and excited to talk to the other person. While I somewhat enforce this with my friends and family, I super enforce it with my professional relationships. 

27)You know those stupid, “Hey we should totally connect! When are you free for coffee?” or “I’d love to pick your brain – what’s your phone number?” type meeting requests from complete strangers? Unless you’re excited to meet the other person, just ignore them. I mean, seriously, has anything good ever come from one of those? A related approach to these issues is to charge for your time. 

28) Memorize and use the phrase, “I’d rather not answer that.” 

29) While you’re at it, memorize the phrase, “I’m not ready to talk about that yet,” too. 

30) After you’ve set a boundary that was hard for you, give yourself a treat. Though it can be something tangible, like a chocolate cake, it doesn’t have to be. I’ll usually go for a walk around the block without my phone to process the conversation and let the good feelings sink in

What to do when people can’t take a hint…

You’ll notice that most of these techniques are subtle. As long as you’re consistent, you can easily set boundaries for 95% of the people in your life like this. They’ll be able to read the social cues and adjust accordingly.

But then, there’s always that damn 5% who just can’t get with the program. In these instances, I suggest clearly spelling out the boundary and the repercussions of violating it. If they still steam roll you, just let them go.

When I lived in DC there was a guy who used to make inappropriate comments about my girlfriend. No matter how clearly I tried to communicate, he wouldn’t stop.

Then, one day I woke up to a text from him discussing her appearance. I picked up the phone, called him, and said, “I’m fucking sick of hearing your comments about N*. I don’t give a shit about what your intention is. If I hear one more remark from you her, I’m going to stop talking to you entirely and explain to everyone in our circle why I did that. The funny part is that your reputation is so fucked up, I doubt I’ll even have to show people the text you just sent me for them to believe what happened. Do you understand me?” He tried to explain that he didn’t mean anything by it. I kept interrupting him and saying, “No. I asked you a simple question. Do you understand me?” When he finally said “Yes” I said “Good” and hung up.

The next time I saw him, he offered a sincere apology. And while I don’t see him much anymore he’s been nothing but respectful to me ever since.

CONTINUE READING

#boundaries #enforcing boundaries #setting boundaries #personal boundaries #healthy boundaries #unhealthy boundaries #assertion #assertiveness #assertive #effective communication #communication #free therapy #mental health #mental wellness #mood disorders #anxiety #depression #bpd #bipolar disorder #ocd #ptsd #trauma #you got this #you can do it #you matter #you're enough #you're worthy #keep going #it gets better

[super-selfpower]

How Can You Improve Your Self-assertion?

There are several ways to improve self-assertion, including:

Communicating clearly and directly: When expressing your needs and wants, be clear and direct in your communication. Avoid passive or vague language, and be specific about what you want or need.

Setting boundaries: It's important to set and maintain personal boundaries, both physically and emotionally. This means saying "no" when necessary, and not allowing others to take advantage of you.

Practicing assertiveness: You can practice assertiveness through role-playing exercises or by gradually incorporating assertive language and behaviors into your daily interactions.

Building confidence: Building confidence in yourself and your abilities can help you to feel more comfortable speaking up and asserting yourself. This can be done through self-care and self-reflection, working on personal goals, and surrounding yourself with supportive people.

Seeking support: Consider seeking out support from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and tools for developing assertiveness skills.

Remember that self-assertion is a skill that can be learned and developed over time. Be patient and kind with yourself as you work on building your assertiveness.

#self assessment #self assurance #assertion #assertiveness #communicating #communication #communication skills

[jetzerzabel]

That’s the best love song that could someone hear about me, the person in question he’s singing to.

#love #al bowlly #assertion

[wordofthehour]

Word of The Hour: assertion

English: assertion 1. the act of asserting, or that which is asserted 2. positive declaration or averment 3. statement asserted ------------ - Chinese: 断言 - French: assertion - German: die Erklärung - Hindi: अभिकथन - Italian: asserto - Portuguese: afirmação - Spanish: aserción ------------ Join our new subreddit for language learners @ https://reddit.com/r/LearnANewLanguage

#wordofthehour #assertion

[impriindia]

A Decade Of Modi's Foreign Policy: From Aspiration To Assertion - IMPRI Impact And Policy Research Institute

Harsh V Pant A day might be a long time in politics, but in foreign policy, even a decade is usually not long enough to merit a serious appraisal. The last decade, however, has witnessed a phenomenal change in both the scale and the scope of global politics. At the same time, politics in India has undergone a tectonic shift too. Inevitably then, India’s foreign policy was bound to be affected as…

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#Aspiration #Assertion #Decade #Foreign #impact #impri #Institute #Modi039s #policy #research

[sciencesolutions]

#median #distinct #set #assertion #number #mathematics #solutions

[sanetimental]

6 Ways To Handle Scapegoating

Scapegoating is a harmful practice that often leads to social injustice. This article outlines the psychology behind scapegoating and strategies for coping with its emotional impact.

Scapegoating is a psychological defense mechanism where one person or group is unfairly blamed for problems that are actually caused by others. It’s a common occurrence in various settings, including families, workplaces, and social groups. The term originates from the biblical practice where a goat was sent into the wilderness to carry away the sins of the community. It is a harmful practice…

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#assert #assertion #assertive #assertiveness #boundaries #control #emotion #emotional release #fami #families #family #goat #help #mental health #mental health check in #mental health education #mental help #narrative #narratives #personal boundaries #power #psychology #scapegoat #scapegoated #scapegoater #scapegoating #self-care #support #support groups #work

[desysabrina]

Week 4: Assertion & Conflict Resolution

Question 1: Describe an eventful moment you have experienced in this class, bearing in mind the key ideas of the day. Make meaningful connections to situations of assertion / conflict in other modules.

When people tend to have a conflict, it will come out as a result either in a positive or negative affect on people. For example, we have been set into groups and we have to come up with an idea of a conflict. So, we did a topic about school. It’s about where an artist / designer doesn’t take criticism seriously due to the person’s way of thinking and even saying.

The way they portray themselves as students or teachers, the way they present on how a conflict could affect their minds and even their mentality. It will lead them to a person being confused but once they get to understand what they meant, it really does affect their surroundings. As one of them is the student, who is going to show their work to their classmates but their classmates' responses are highly negative in a way of how they are portraying it as a negative criticism but in the worst kind of way. Then, as the student tells the teacher if their work is alright. As when the teacher gives them a criticism of what they’re inspecting to understand but when it comes to not handling feedback to the heart, it will see them as a conflict. And even tries to make a move that they’re in the wrong and themselves is right all the time.

Question 2: Did you have to exercise any conflict resolution in your Studio Group Activities in previous weeks?

Overall, conflict can be useful in any situation but when it comes to certain topics, people tend to see the other people as either spreading a threat or plain mockery.

Word Count: (256 Words)

Image Reference URL: https://www.fingerprintforsuccess.com/blog/conflict-resolution-skills

#assertion #conflict resolution

[truths89]

Remarkable

Forgiveness is a cloud I float upon, As I resist the urge to fawn

No longer fate’s pawn, For I bear the view of a new dawn

#truths89 #poetry #NegressOfSaturn #ZisaAziza #forgiveness #reclamation #assertion #healing #autonomy #breaking cycles #self-accountability

[tenth-sentence]

"The calculus of correlations," Elderton once asserted, "is the sole rational and effective method available for attacking . . . what makes for, and what mars national fitness."

"In the Name of Eugenics: Genetics and the Uses of Human Heredity" - Daniel J. Kevles

#book quote #in the name of eugenics #daniel j kevles #nonfiction #calculus #correlation #ethel m elderton #ethel elderton #assertion #rational #effective #attack #fitness

[poimi]

i will learn to assert myself. but oh, they’ll resist, and my hard work will be for nothing—because i will simply lay down and offer them my throat to step on again. because i am too tired to move on to step two: resisting the resistance.

#poimi #prose #growing pains #grief #daughter #enneagram 9 #prose poetry #prose poem #poetic prose #assertion