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monstersandmaw · 1 year

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Male werewolf x female character (Gabe & Odessa) - Chapter Twenty Two (sfw)

Disclaimer which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

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Well, folks, we finally did it! This is my longest-running story on here, and it’s finally come to an end. Kind of. This is the end of ‘Season One’ (for want of a better term), and I have a short interlude planned from Gabe’s POV, followed by a ‘Season Two’. I also asked you what other ‘non-humans’ you’d like to see for 2023, so I’m going to be working on some other stories too since my workshop is currently flooded and out of action for the forseeable future. Thanks for your input and ideas with that - I always welcome prompts and ideas, even if I don’t guarantee to write them!

Anyway, enough waffle. Here’s the wrap-up to G&O (if you have any ideas for actual titles for this story, please tell me - I did ask ages ago but my dumb brain cell forgot them!).

Content: After two blissful weeks, Odessa has to say farewell to Gabe and Pinewatch, and return to the city, but once she’s there, things turn out to be not quite so bleak... Wordcount: 4367

Catch up here:

Part One (sfw), Part Two (sfw), Part Three (sfw), Part Four (sfw), Part Five (sfw), Part Six (sfw) Part Seven (sfw), Part Eight (sfw), Part Nine (sfw), Part Ten (sfw), Part Eleven (nsfw), Part Twelve (sfw), Part Thirteen (sfw), Part Fourteen (nsfw), Part Fifteen (nsfw), Part Sixteen (nsfw), Part Seventeen (sfw), Part Eighteen (v. light nsfw), Part Nineteen (nsfw), Part Twenty (nsfw), Part Twenty-One (nsfw)

Odessa woke the next morning and for three full minutes, she didn’t think about having to leave.

The moment she did, she began to cry.

Silent tears slid from the corners of her eyes to melt into her hair as she lay on her back and stared at the ceiling while Gabe slept on silently beside her, curled on his side and facing her. His chest rose and fell with the regular, quiet ease of someone deeply and contentedly asleep, and she tried to focus on that instead, letting her mind drift along with each steady inhale and exhale. Memories of her fortnight in the forest scudded across her mind’s eye like little boats in a flotilla of happy snapshots: walks to the lake, shy flirting, drinks at the pub, new friends, discovering fairytale creatures were real, more mind-blowing and affectionate sex than she’d ever had in her life, pancakes, blackberry cupcakes, waterfalls and werebears, adorable wolf-dogs, Gabe’s hazel eyes and dimpled smile…

Somehow, her last day in Pinewatch had dawned, and the idea of leaving all that behind just seemed more painful and unfair than anything she’d ever experienced, even if it wouldn’t be for long. For a long time, she couldn’t move so much as a muscle as the sudden, sharp grief crushed her and buried her beneath its weight.

Beside her, Gabe inhaled deeply through his nose. “Hey,” he mumbled, coming awake sharply and reaching for her with a frown. He blinked back the bleary remnants of sleep from his eyes and brushed the tears from her face with his knuckles. He kissed her temple, shuffling closer to her and tucking the duvet up around her. “Come here.”

With Gabe wrapped around her body from behind, holding her tightly enough that she felt a little more grounded, she began to feel marginally better, and with a deep sigh, she tried to let it all go. “I know it’s only temporary,” she said, kissing his hand before he moved it to continue stroking her hair. It was too wildly curled and tangled for him to comb his fingers through it, but the way his palm skated over the contours of her skull calmed something deep within her.

“Still sucks though,” he said and she hummed. “Could I come and visit you there?” he asked after a pause.

She frowned. She hadn’t even considered that as an option. “In the city? I thought you hated it? And what about your family? And the dogs?”

She felt him smile and he kissed her again. “I hated it there because I thought I had no choice about my future. The dogs will be fine on their own in the enclosure for a few days. I’ll take them for a long run when I get back, and Tala or Carys can feed them for me once a day.”

“And… your family?” she asked when she realised that was the only thing he hadn’t answered.

Gabe gave a big sigh and Odessa rolled onto her back to look up at him properly. He had a pillow crease on his cheek that she wanted to kiss, but she just smiled privately and let him talk. “When a wolf enters the territory of another pack, unless they’re literally just passing through that day, it’s custom for them to announce themselves to the pack leader and state their intentions. If I’m staying longer than a few hours, I’ll need to go to them for permission to stay.”

Her heart rate picked up and she bit her lip. “Is that something you’d be… comfortable doing? You said your mother literally exiled you… They won’t… I don’t know, turn on you?”

He shook his head. “It’ll be… strained, for sure. I can write to my brother about it. We’re still vaguely in touch at Christmas and sometimes in between. He knows where I live and what I do for work and stuff. I could ask him if I could come and present myself to the pack in order to visit my — to visit you,” he said, his gaze drifting towards the ceiling.

“Would he advocate for you then?”

Gabe nodded. “Yeah, probably. I think he’d stand up for me. We used to be very close.”

Something sad stabbed just below her ribs at the way he said it. “Do you miss him?” she asked in a tentative whisper.

“Yeah,” he rasped, eyes closing for a second. “He’s two years younger than me, but we were inseparable from the moment he was born. Until… til I left…” He paused and let his thumb play distractedly over her shoulder joint. “He has cerebral palsy but it’s never really hindered him doing whatever he wanted to. We did everything together: went climbing at the sports centre, running in the park, kayaking and camping in the school holidays… he played soccer after school and I’d go to watch…”

The image of him as ‘devoted older brother’ only made it more painful that they were now so distant, and she didn’t miss the way his breath caught and his throat tightened as he listed everything they’d once shared. The loss of contact with Raph — the gulf which Gabe’s actions had opened up between them — was clearly as raw to him then as on the day he’d caught that bus out of the city.

Instead of offering him some empty platitude about how sorry she was that it had turned out that way, she squeezed his middle with all her strength, and he grinned through a wheeze and looked down at her with a grateful flash of his golden eyes. She was learning to speak werewolf pretty well, she thought.

“How did the pack react to him becoming your mother’s Second instead of you?”

He shrugged, jostling her slightly. “From the impression he’s given me from his emails, they just accepted it. Mother’s word is law, after all,” he added dryly. “Raph’s thriving on it, the pack is as strong as it’s ever been, and mother got a willing Second, so it all worked out in the end.”

“So what happens if… if you ask to stay and she says no?”

A beat of silence stretched until he exhaled heavily. “Then I’ll have to leave. By werewolf law, they could kill me if I stay without their permission, but I highly doubt it’ll come to that.”

She gasped, going cold all over. “They’re your family, Gabe!”

Again, he shrugged and reached over to lay his palm on her hip. The action calmed her a little, but her heartbeat still galloped wildly. “Pack law is pack law,” he said. “It’s archaic, and while they’re probably traditional enough to give the English aristocracy a run for its money, I don’t think they’d escalate things that far. Killing a family member as a punishment is a huge taboo; no one’s done it for centuries. They’d probably just run me out of town.”

“Would I have to meet them?” she asked with no small amount of trepidation. Honestly, his mother sounded terrifying, but Raph didn’t seem so bad if he was anything like Gabe.

Gabe’s eyes flashed and a short, instinctive growl escaped his throat. “No. I don’t want any of them anywhere near you,” he finally managed to spit out around the sound that took a while to stop and die away.

She half-suspected that the approaching full moon stoked a little of the protective fury in his tone, though probably not by much.

“You’re human, and I don’t want you mixed up in werewolf politics. It’s a minefield, and they already think the worst of me for turning my back on my own family. Settling down with a human is… well, to them it’d be another insult, put it that way.”

“Oh.”

For a while, she just lay there in his arms until he kissed her. “Hey,” he murmured. “Don’t stress it.”

“I don’t want to put you in danger, or more at odds with your family,” she said. “It’s, what, a five hour drive from there to here on a good day? I can do that to come and see you. You don’t need to risk all of that for me.”

Another growl rumbled in his chest like a fading thunderstorm. “I don’t want it to be all on you,” he said. “Until we figure something out, I want you to know I’m there for you. That I’m… invested in this. In us.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. “I know that.” Vague, half-formed plans for the future resurfaced, and she began to mull them over again as they lay there in affectionate silence.

“Hey,” he said, and she twitched back to the present moment. “You want to come over to mine for pancakes before you go?”

She nodded. “Yeah, and say goodbye to the dogs, if that’s ok?”

“Don’t blame me if they corner you and refuse to let you out. They’re very intuitive…”

“I won’t be complaining if they do,” she mumbled and hugged him for a while longer.

Their sombre mood didn’t match the morning’s weather at all. Sunlight finally decided to come pouring in through the curtains following days of grey skies and rain, and after lying there anxiously for another half an hour, Odessa huffed a sigh and got out of bed.

The moment she was upright, she felt every ache and stretch from the night before in every corner of her body, and she smiled. She could still feel the way his knot had filled her utterly too, and the way he had come — eyes rolling back, his body submitting completely with a great, heaving shudder as he gave himself to her — was something that would stay with her forever. She’d have to see if he was willing to have shifted sex with her again in the future too, she mused with a bashful smile, and caught herself blushing in the bathroom mirror.

In the privacy of the bathroom, she popped a couple of ibuprofen to help her aches subside, and showered briefly. Gabe seemed in no hurry to get up, and he watched her dress from the warmth of the duvet before finally crawling out of bed and heading for the shower himself. He emerged ten minutes or so later to find her making a cup of tea in the kitchen of the cosy little holiday cabin.

“At least you’ll have good weather for driving,” he said as he came up behind her and put his arms around her middle. The gentle pressure eased the soft ache and she hummed in pleasure.

“I think I’ll pack up my stuff here and drive over to yours,” she said, dunking the teabag a few more times to get it to the right colour. “Then I’ll just go home from there.”

He nodded and said, “I’ll let you finish up in peace then. Just come over whenever you’re done.”

Odessa deliberately didn’t watch him walk out the door, and while she did feel the urge to cry when she heard his truck tyres roll out, she pulled herself together long enough to get her belongings in order. Packing up after a holiday was never going to be a long job, and she carelessly stuffed all her clothes into her rucksack and her hold-all, slung her hiking boots into the back of her little VW, and stumped back to the cabin to make a final check.

It still looked like a fairytale.

The newly planted flowers outside had had two weeks to settle in, and they sat in the beds at the base of the log walls waving merrily in the breezes that scudded around the clearing in the wake of the previous day’s rain. Little birds flitted and twittered in the branches around the cabin, and she could hear the stream trickling along the gully behind the house. Her breath billowed in the damp, cold air, and she shivered.

With the cabin left in order, and the bed linen already stripped and stuffed into the dedicated laundry bag in a corner of the bedroom by Gabe, Odessa locked up and drove the short journey up the road to Gabe’s house.

She found him sitting outside on the back step with Axel’s head in his lap. Mia yowled at her the moment she shut the car door and walked towards the gate in the enclosure fence, and Gabe looked up and smiled without disturbing Axel.

Thunder paced slowly towards her as she slid the latch back on the gate. “Alright to come in?” she asked and Gabe nodded.

She closed it behind her and turned to find Thunder standing immediately behind her. He looked like an emperor awaiting an audience, and she held her hand out shyly to him. He sniffed her knuckles and then licked her skin gently, exhaling with an audible rumble. “I’m gonna miss you too,” she said and glanced self-consciously over at Gabe.

He smiled and said, “He can smell that we’re both kind of stressed,” he said. “He doesn’t like it. Neither does Ax,” he added, stroking the white fluff between Axel’s tense ears.

“I’m sorry buddy,” she said, gently chucking Thunder under the chin while Mia finally gave in and harrumphed over to her. She jabbed Odessa in the thigh with her pointy husky nose, and yowled like a broken car alarm. “I’ll be back to steal all of Gabe’s attention before you know it,” she laughed. “I promise you’ll barely have time to relax before I’m back and you have to chase me off him again.”

Mia growled but it was all play, and Odessa sighed as she crossed to sit with Gabe and Axel for a minute or two before her butt got too cold on the damp step and she stood up again.

Gabe dusted her backside off affectionately and she chuckled. Then he stood up too with a little grunt and said, “Come on. Let’s make some pancakes. Tea or coffee?”

“Coffee, please.”

Having forced herself to be at peace with the knowledge she was leaving, she leaned her hips against the kitchen counter while Gabe cooked, and they ate together at the dining table with their feet intertwined underneath.

“What are your plans for Christmas?” Odessa asked apropos nothing.

Gabe gently speared a strawberry with his fork and pushed it through a small tidal wave of maple syrup. “Nothing adventurous. I usually spend Christmas Day on duty at the centre, just in case,” he said. “A few people like to go camping or hiking in the snow, and sometimes they get into trouble. If I’m not working, Carys has been known to ask me over to her place,” he added with a smile. “In that case, I’ll give the dogs a frozen hunk of venison to keep them busy and I’ll have lunch with her.”

“Is she with anyone?”

He shook his head. “No. Sometimes we go for a hike if the weather is nice, but mostly we just share a meal and swap a few presents. It’s all very low-key. What about you?” he asked. “What were you planning to do this year?”

She shrugged. “Hadn’t got that far ahead, to be perfectly honest. In the past Jake and I each went back to our parents’, but if you’re around, maybe I could come up here and spend it with you and the dogs instead?”

“Your family won’t mind not seeing you?”

“No, I don’t think so. We’re fairly close, but not so close that they’ll kick up a fuss if I don’t go this year.”

He tilted his head. “Would you rather go and see them though?”

After giving it a second’s thought, she shook her head. “No. I want to spend it with just you, if that’s ok?”

Gabe’s smile lit her up inside. “Alright. We’ll do something here. But can I still come and see you before then?” he asked, hope ringing quietly in his voice.

She nodded. “Yeah. I don’t think I can get through the whole of November and December without seeing you at all…”

With that decided, they moved on to other things, but after a while it became obvious that they were just prolonging the inevitable. She ducked outside to say goodbye to the dogs, and discovered Axel standing with his front paws already up on the back step and his big, blue eyes round with worry.

“Hey, buddy,” she smiled, dropping gently down into a crouch and letting him put his fluffy little face in her hands. “I’ll see you soon.”

He whined and licked her tears and wagged his tail, and after a moment or two she felt a second nose nudge up against her elbow, demanding to be let into the cuddles, and was surprised to find Mia’s icy eyes glaring at her. The half-husky snorted, sat down heavily, then threw back her head and howled like a fire alarm directly in her ear.

Odessa lurched back to spare her left ear drum, Axel complained, and Thunder trotted over to tell everyone off for behaving like hooligans. He snarled at Mia and bowled her over with his massive size, and the two began to play-fight in the dirt while Odessa and Axel just looked at them with a mix of bafflement and amusement.

Gabe’s hands squeezed her shoulders a minute or two later and he leaned down over her. Axel looked at him and gave a soft ‘woo’ as if to say ‘I didn’t start it’, and Gabe snorted, ruffling Axel’s soft fur. “You all set?” he asked Odessa, and her heart skipped a beat.

“Yeah,” she sighed, standing and dusting off her jeans.

After a final bathroom stop, during which she adjusted her hair and wiped beneath her eyes where her eyeliner had smudged a little, she stepped out into his living room and gave a tense exhale.

“I don’t want to go,” she whispered when Gabe joined her from the kitchen.

“I don’t want you to go,” he smiled. “But it’s not for long. I’ll be here.”

“I know. And I’ll come back,” she said, because it suddenly seemed very important to make him that promise.

Gabe inhaled, held the breath, and as he let it go, he stepped in close and hugged her. He held her until she felt the stress melt away a little, and she swallowed and stepped back. “If I don’t go now, I never will.”

“Mmm, don’t tempt me,” he whispered with a smile even as he let go of her and cuffed vaguely at his nose with the back of his wrist. His eyes were glassy and his expression open and vulnerable. “Safe drive.”

“I’ll call you when I get there,” she said.

She didn’t remember much of walking out of Gabe’s house for the last time that holiday, and for the first few miles of driving away from Pinewatch, all she could see was Gabe standing on his wooden veranda, his right arm raised in farewell, his left hand dug deep into his pocket, and the muted sound of howling coming from the wolf-dogs at the back of the house. She felt like her heart made the same desperate sound for miles, and she wondered if they’d kept it up as long as her chest had kept hurting.

The drive back was uneventful, and with a sugary breakfast and too much coffee in her veins, she made it easily without even having to stop to rest.

The volume of traffic slowly built as she hit the suburbs, and as she wove through the mounting afternoon traffic, she felt hemmed in and stressed in a way she never had before. The city had always felt lively to her — buzzing with vibrant activity and people — but now it just felt over-crowded and hectic. She drew up in the street outside her apartment block and as she cut the engine, the dull hum and roar of the city beyond immediately pressed in on her.

With a sigh, she got out, dragged and struggled her bags up the stairs and opened her apartment.

Everything was exactly as she’d left it, but her light, airy flat no longer felt all that comforting. It felt empty. She ached for the barely-there tread of Gabe’s feet as he moved over the hardwood floor in his adorable woolly socks, or the sounds of wolf-dogs scrapping and playing outside; for the hiss of wind through pine needles and the ceaseless trill of birdsong in the trees. All she had now were sirens and car horns and engines.

She texted Emma and Dandy first to let them know she was back, and as she hit ‘send’ on the latter of those, a message from Gabe popped up.

>>Missing you. Hope your drive back was ok. G xxx<<

Swallowing thickly, she smiled and texted back.

A week later, Carys sent her a text asking for her email address, and the next day Odessa opened up her inbox to find a message with the subject ‘—Forwarded message— RE: Legal Policy Officer/Legal Adviser - Part-Time Post @ Three Peaks National Park Service’, and her heart leapt. She had never opened an email quicker in her life, and she hardly took in anything the first time she read it. Forcing herself to calm down, she sank down into her office chair in the bright, sunny morning sunshine and bit her lip.

Dear Odessa,

Hope you’re well and that it’s not too much of a culture shock being away from the woods. This came through to me a few days ago and I thought I would forward it to you. I haven’t mentioned it to Gabe, as I thought you’d want to have a look at it first.

All the best,

Carys

P.S. It’s obvious to all of us just how much Gabe misses you, but he’s putting on a brave show for the rest of us. For what it’s worth, I thought you make a great fit and the two of you are clearly made for each other. I hope you find something that works out for you, even if it’s not this. X

— Forwarded message —

The Three Peaks National Park Service is currently recruiting for a Legal Policy Officer/Legal Adviser to form part of their legal team, focusing on how strategic, legally sound and ecologically significant measures for nature can be delivered. This ambitious and challenging work provides an opportunity to be at the forefront of environmental conservation and recovery. The legal team is part of the… (read more)

Hardly daring to hope, Odessa clicked the job description and read it through three times. The pay was significantly less than she’d been on before, but it being part-time certainly had its appeal, and she had more than enough saved up for the time being anyway. Having no social life to speak of and a high paying job in the city had been good for at least something.

Odessa spent the rest of the day ignoring her mounting pile of household chores, and sent in her application the very next day. She did not tell Gabe, deciding to wait and see if she was asked to interview first. She didn’t want to jinx anything, and she didn’t want to get his hopes up. Or hers.

That afternoon, her phone buzzed with a message from Gabe, and she nearly dropped it with a laugh of surprise when she found a photo attached to the message which read: >>Gabe and the dogs move into the 21st century… (we have wifi and a smartphone now. Expect daily photo updates)<<

Attached was a selfie Gabe had taken crouching outside in the wolf-dog enclosure, with Axel’s muzzle tucked under his raised arm, Mia, clearly mid-lunge into the frame and little more than a blue-eyed blur, and Thunder staring over Gabe’s shoulder with a look of cautious disdain on his noble face.

Odessa cackled another laugh and sent a selfie back of her sitting on her cream coloured sofa, bathed in soft, city winter sunlight, beaming.

>>God, you’re gorgeous<< Gabe messaged back instantly. >>I was not prepared for that<<

<<Just wait til you experience the wonders of the video call, Gabe. It’s like a picture, but it moves and talks…>>

>>ha ha very funny<<

<<You love me>>

>>Yes I do.<<

[Incoming video call: Gabe Kirkbride]

She and Gabe called morning and night for another week after that, but she still didn’t tell him she’d applied for the job with the park service, even after the interview, which had turned out to be the most relaxed and almost enjoyable job interview she’d ever experienced. Her hopes were high, but until she had a confirmation email, she was determined to keep silent about it. She also begged Carys not to say anything, to which the older woman agreed without argument, on the rather preemptive condition that when Odessa surprised Gabe with the news of her inevitable success, Carys could be there to witness it in person.

One Saturday morning in early November, Gabe called her while she was still in bed, and she could tell the moment she answered it that something was different. “What?” she asked blearily, blinking and searching his hazel eyes for any kind of clue, all the while trying not to fumble and drop her phone onto her own face. He looked a little apprehensive and a fair bit excited. “What is it?”

After a tight, shy smile, Gabe said, “I’ve been emailing my brother.”

“Oh?”

He nodded. “Raph said he’ll advocate for me. I’d… I’d like to come and see you… if that’s still alright?”

“Alright?” Her heart leapt wildly and she laughed, scrambling to sit upright and letting the covers fall down a little way. Gabe’s eyes dipped briefly down to take in the sight of her bare collarbones as her pyjama top slipped down and he smiled. “Of course it’s alright! Yes! When? I was going to suggest making a trip to see you soon, but that works too, if you’re sure about it?”

“I’m sure,” he said. “How does next weekend sound?”

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And there is where we leave Season One! A HUGE thank you to everyone who’s got involved in this, be it with asks and comments or reblogs (special shout out to anyone who screeched and flailed at me in the tags, you know who you are and I see you and I think you’re wonderful!). I know 3rd person werewolf romances aren’t every monster-lover’s cup of tea, but to those of you who’ve fallen in love with these goofballs along the way, thanks for sticking with it to the end!

In the ‘interlude’, we will see Gabe’s visit from his POV, and we are going to meet the pack... Who are you most excited to meet? Oh, and Odessa’s gonna find out exactly what Gabe’s been studiously avoiding saying in exact terms...

As always, take good care of yourselves please, and I hope you have a lovely day/night wherever you are, and whenever you read this. Thank you, and Happy New Year!

Masterlist | Ko-fi (tip jar)

#gabe & odessa #werewolf romance #werewolf #shifter romance #exophilia #werewolf boyfriend #male werewolf x female character #male werewolf #werewolves #werewolf lover #monster lover

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bigfan-fanfic · 1 year

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What Else Is There? (Bucky Barnes x Clark Kent x Male Reader)

Requested by @jayfeather965 for A short fix on how Bucky and Clark help convince you that your worthy enough to be with them in a relationship despite being so boring and normal.

Bucky sometimes goes out to help Clark at those times that the villains get more rowdy than usual.

And since it's been so busy with that, they haven't been at home as often, and maybe that's what's felt so off the past week.

You get so much more into your own head when you're alone.

With them helping people, fighting together, you start to let your insecurities get the better of you.

Can two superheroes really be happy with you? No powers, no exciting past.

You wonder what you really bring to the table here. Even out of heroing - Clark has a pretty-well paying job as an award winning journalist, and Bucky gets a stipend from the Stark Foundation anyway, so even monetarily you don't contribute especially much.

Maybe they're just being nice, taking you in. Their beautiful bodies and incredible eyes and luscious hair.

Maybe they pity you, and they just don't know how to say they don't want you anymore.

Is it any wonder that when Clark flies him and Bucky home, they find you in a morose state?

Bucky instantly frowns sternly when you try to tell him nothing's wrong. He knows better.

Clark gently but firmly gathers you up into his arms, and his kind and patient face is the last straw.

You cry into his chest, feeling more like a burden than ever.

They share a glance at each other, both shocked that you could ever feel like they weren't happy with you.

Clark suddenly starts to chuckle and tilts your chin up so your eyes meet.

"Sunshine, I have to stop you right there. Now just how exactly do you think you're a burden to us? We literally gave you two of the most dangerous possible secrets for anyone to have! The location of the former Winter Soldier and the identity of Superman."

You frown. "And now you have to protect me because of it."

"No. We have to protect you because we love you, and because we're able to. I mean, I feel like I still haven't been able to make it up to you, uprooting your life and changing everything."

"Wait, what?" you ask him, confused.

"I told you I was born a space alien, that I can crush diamonds like they were chunks of sugar, and you still love me."

Bucky lets out a grunt. "I don't take well to people insulting the people I love. You think you're boring and normal? Well, you're not."

He clears his throat. And proceeds to list what he thinks is special about you and why. He's noticed things that have long since fell below your radar. Somehow he turns every little thing you can do into a comment on your character or personality. He makes the mundane seem special. Clark's eyes are sparkling.

Clark cuts in. "And what's more - you give us both normal lives. Do you know how special that is? I never really thought I'd be able to have a boyfriend that I can do things with, that doesn't mind my quirks, and the way all the noises can get to me sometimes."

"And not to mention you're providing me with a safe space. I still have bad days, but I... I feel safer here with you. I guess in my mind you feel like home. Like nothing can get to me. Because you're there and that means things are okay." Bucky adds sheepishly.

Clark smiles. "You say boring and normal like it's a bad thing. Do you know how long I had to take to come to terms with who I am? How many times I wished I could be normal?"

"And how much I sometimes wish my life hadn't been so exciting?" Bucky growls.

"It's normal, and okay to doubt yourself, sunshine." Clark says softly, pulling Bucky in so they both embrace you. "But I want you to promise me you'll tell me or Bucky when you feel like that again. Cause I guarantee you we both love you so much. When you feel bad, we feel bad too. You're our wonderful, boring, normal, fantastic, understanding, kind, irreplaceable boyfriend."

"I think, for good measure, I'm gonna cuddle you for the next few days." Bucky grins.

"Oh, be honest, you were gonna do that anyway." Clark teases him.

Bucky nods. "I was. Because I wanna spend time with my best guys." He gives you both a kiss.

Your doubts don't go away completely. Every so often your brain will do this little dance with you. But when Clark and Bucky stay, and when they keep staying, it becomes easier and easier to get rid of those doubts.

#male reader #bucky barnes x male reader #clark kent x male reader #clark x bucky x male reader #superman x male reader #superman x reader #marvel x male reader #marvel headcanons #dc headcanons #headcanons

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hanjisungs-bigtittyg0thgf · 1 year

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Awaken

changbin x felix

Trigger warnings: none that i can think of but please feel free to correct me if i missed anything!

Content warnings: names (baby, good boy, angel, sweetheart, pretty boy, tiny baby), a little biting, mirrors, slight hair pulling, size kink (kinda?), oral, begging, cum sharing, praise, very brief mutual masturbation, very brief finger fucking, verbal teasing, hand holding, anal, a hint of a breeding kink, belly bulge, desperate lix, ass slapping, mild dacryphilia, one (1) dry orgasm (idk it was hot to me lmao)

Summary: changbin fell in love with his best friend, felix, and now felix wants to be his first guy.

Word count: 9332

A/N: so this is written from changbin’s pov and it is actually the first ship fic i wrote (at least the first ship fic i’ve written since high school). i actually wrote it before asking for pride fic requests last year and contemplated keeping it for myself or putting it on my ko-fi but felt it was too good not to share. and ofc i had to go with the classic friends to lovers trope because that’s just the kind of person i am lmao anyways i’m almost done with my next pride piece and i’m working on the three requests i received! i hope you all enjoy this and please feel free to give a follow! be sure to drop your feedback in the comments and please look forward to what i’ve got in store for you!! also i’m revamping my tag list so please submit an ask, send a message, or leave a comment if you’d like to be added to that! thank you all for your support <3

I don’t remember when it started or even how it started, if I’m honest. I just know that one day I woke up and the first thought on my mind was how pretty Felix would look with a morning blush. I’d had passing thoughts about his beauty so I paid it no mind, I was comfortable enough in my sexuality to recognize an attractive man when I saw one. Then the dream came rushing back and flooded my senses. I felt guilty as images of my best friend writhing around beneath me appeared in my mind.

I remember thinking “What the fuck was that? I’m not even gay. Why did I dream about fucking my best friend? And why am I hard?”

I remember being disgusted with myself as I rubbed one out in the shower, visions of Felix with his eyes squeezed shut and his jaw hanging open as he cried my name swimming in my vision. I remember icing him out for a few days, afraid he’d somehow know I’d had a wet dream starring him. I remember being terrified and ashamed of what I was feeling. That dream made me reconsider my sexuality.

Over the course of a year, I’d fought with my feelings for him and tried to ignore both my crush and my sudden shift in sexual preference. But he made it so much easier. I never told him who was making me feel these things but he made me feel safe. He helped me figure things out. He knew something was wrong when I started avoiding him at first and when I finally confided in him, he was nothing short of an angel. He stayed up with me several nights when I was having a hard time coming to terms with my sexuality and he assured me nothing was wrong with me. He told me that he’d had the same struggle a few years ago and he took his time to accept it but once he finally did, it felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders.

I followed his lead and allowed him to show me what it meant to truly embrace who I am. He even took me to my first gay bar. I don’t remember much about that night to be honest. I remember getting there and ordering a few shots; remember Felix suggesting a mixed drink. But that’s about it.

I woke up the next morning in his bed, wearing only my boxers. I was mortified but he took it all in stride and when I shuffled into his kitchen, he offered me a smile and a plate of pancakes before telling me he’d washed my clothes because I got sick right outside his apartment building. I was horrified and ashamed - less so when I found out we hadn’t fucked, but still embarrassed - but he was so kind and I found myself getting flustered every time he offered me a smile over breakfast. I was acutely aware of my nakedness in that moment but he paid it no mind. At least that’s what I told myself when his eyes lingered just a little too long on my ass while I took my plate to the sink.

That had become routine over the last year- the clubbing, not the puking and waking up naked at his place. I’d grown comfortable with myself again and had simply accepted that I had feelings for my best friend. That I have feelings for my best friend. As in, present tense. They never went away and I learned to be okay with it.

This leads to my current predicament. I’m a confident man. I’m aware that I’m good looking. Sometimes I turn myself on. Maybe that’s conceited but who’s it really hurting? Because of this, I sometimes take pictures or record myself jacking off. My camera roll is full of dick pics and videos of me begging for Felix to come ride me.

And now Felix is looking at me expectantly from his position beside me on my bed, both of us slumped against the headboard. “Oh come on! Lemme see how it turned out!” He nudges my shoulder with his as his smile betrays him. He is pretending to be exasperated but he can’t pull it off. We’ve just taken a photo together with some dumb filter and he wants to look at it. Except he’s been known to scroll a bit before and I’m afraid he’ll find the video I recorded only a few hours earlier. “Pretty please?” He resorts to pouting and begging and my heart flips at the way his bottom lip pokes out.

I can’t say no when he looks at me like that and he seems to know since he always does it to get his way. I usually don’t mind indulging him but I’m anxious as I hand him my phone. “Fine. But don’t scro-”

“OH MY GOD THAT'S YOUR DICK-” He shouts as he drops the phone in surprise and my face feels like I’ve just opened the oven without leaning back first; I’m on fire. I try to grab my phone from where it landed on his chest but he gives me an evil smirk and holds it out of reach. “Who’s it for? Did you finally get on one of those dating apps I suggested?”

“Absolutely not. I-”

“So why do you have dick pics?”

“Do you not?”

“Not my dick pics.”

My eyes widen a bit and I look away, embarrassed by my train of thought. How many guys had sent him nudes and how many did he save? I’m not sure I want to know. I shake my head and hold my hand out. “Give it back, dude.”

He ignores me and scrolls through the photos of me fisting my cock before he finally stumbles upon the video. I jump to grab my phone, panicking this time, but it’s too late. We both go silent as my voice calling his name fills the room and I can see his cheeks reddening. After a moment I snap out of my trance and snatch my phone back, clearing my throat awkwardly. “That wasn’t for you…”

Felix, of course, throws another curveball at me and I have to force myself not to physically shudder at his tone. “Clearly it was for me, you were moaning my name while you fucked your fist.” I’d never heard him say anything so…nasty before. He usually keeps things pretty PG.

“Lix, don’t-”

“Was it me?” He suddenly asks as he sits up. His tone isn’t accusatory or panicked so I take it as a good sign and let out a sigh as I nod. I know what he’s asking.

“Yeah. You were the one I had that dream about.” I rake a hand through my hair and look away. “Look, I don’t want things to be weird, Lix, can we please just pretend this never happened?”

“Nope.” He pops the ‘p’ and I sigh once more. “I had my suspicions, you know.” His voice is gentle as his small hand comes to rest on my shoulder. “I wasn’t oblivious to it. I just wanted things to unfold on their own. I didn’t want to push you when you were still coming to terms with everything, but I knew.”

My face is on fire yet again and it only gets worse when he pushes me back against the headboard and straddles my waist. His usually-inviting gaze is dark now, hooded as he looks down at me from his position on my lap. His freckles seem to stand out more with the soft blush dusting his cheeks. When his lips part, I immediately give him all my attention - as if he didn’t already have it. I hang on to his every word. I always have.

“I’ve thought about it too, you know.” His voice is a low rumble and it makes my head spin. “I’ve thought about how you sound; about how you taste, how you feel. I’ve spent so much time thinking about it and wondering if I was the man you dreamt about.” My dick twitches to life in my athletic shorts, though I’m terrified to admit I’m getting hard over this.

He’s leaning in close now and my heart is hammering in my chest. “I’m tired of just thinking about it, Binnie…” He whispers, his hands sliding from my shoulders, down my chest and abs as he leans closer to whisper in my ear. My muscles jump under his touch. I’ve always been pretty sensitive but it seems I’m even more responsive when it comes to him. “I wanna act on it.” His teeth ever so gently clamp down on my earlobe and my hands fly to his hips.

“Lix-” my voice is strained, surprising even me. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how he manages to work me up without even trying. My fingers dig into the material of his loose sweats as a wave of arousal crashes over me. Before I can speak, he grinds his ass down on my semi and I can’t suppress the low groan I let out.

“I know you wanna act on it too, Binnie.” He whispers by my ear before allowing his tongue to soothe the area he’d just bitten. “I know you’re watching me in that mirror right now too.” He adds as his plump lips trail along my jaw and I have half a mind to deny it but that desire flees with his next question. “Do I look pretty on top like this?” His teeth rake over my skin and my grip on his hips tightens yet again as I watch him in the mirror that hangs over my bed.

“Fucking stunning, Lixie.” I rasp out, squeezing his hips as he sets a slow, steady pace. The sound he lets out at both the name and my touch makes my heart pound. I don’t watch him much longer, opting instead to turn my face towards his neck and press a series of kisses there, nipping at his skin after the final one. He fucking whimpers and my dick throbs against his ass.

But then he pulls away and sits up. I watch him in confusion, almost pouting when he pushes my hands away. “I can’t take it.” He whispers as he whips his shirt off. “I need you. Right now.” He looks back down at me, his warm blonde hair hanging in front of his eyes. He pushes it out of his face before reaching for the hem of my shirt.

I let him start to undress me, growing amused at just how frantic he’s becoming. “Relax, baby. We have all the time in the world.” I tease, flashing a smirk at him as I reach for him again. I pull him into me and he squeaks in surprise as our bare chests meet, his hands flying to my biceps. I can’t help but flex a bit. He whispers a soft ‘hi’, which I return as my fingers begin to trace circles on his back. He looks so pretty when he shudders at my touch.

I grow serious after a moment. I’ve never been with a man before. I’ve had plenty of sex but it’s been about a year since the last time and that time was with a woman because I was actively trying to deny my feelings for him. It’s not that I’m afraid or uncomfortable, I just need him to take it slow so I can learn his body; learn how he likes to be touched and how this actually works.

He can sense this. His eyes widen a bit, which is fucking adorable given his flushed cheeks, and he lets his hands slide up my arms to rest on my shoulders. “Am…am I your first?” I give a slight nod and his expression grows fond, a soft smile settling on his thick lips. “I’ll try to be patient.” He teases and both of us give a soft chuckle before my arms tighten around his waist.

“Can…” I start and bite my lip pensively. Should I ask for his permission? I mean, surely he won’t mind it since he initiated everything. Still, I ask. “Can I kiss you, Felix?”

His nod is almost imperceptible but I see it. He doesn’t make a move to lean in and I move one arm from his waist. Everything is still as we stare at each other, my free hand coming up to his face. I brush my knuckles along his jaw and he shivers, his breath hitching as I lean up towards him and let my hand cup his jaw. “I’ve spent so much time thinking about this.” I mimic his previous statement when we’re only a centimeter apart and his lips curl up into a soft smile before I bring my own lips to meet his.

It feels like the stars have aligned. Everything feels right when I’m kissing him. He tastes like the blue raspberry lollipop he was sucking on earlier - distractingly, might I add - but I’m certain he’d be just as sweet without the lingering taste of candy. I swipe my tongue over his bottom lip and he lets out yet another whimper, making my dick twitch again.

He slowly pulls back for air and I peek out at him, noticing a tiny smile on his lips again. “You taste like candy.” I whisper and he lets out a soft giggle, making my heart melt.

“So do you.” He whispers back. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” He adds before crashing his lips back to mine. His hands are on my neck now, his thumbs resting just in front of my ears as he splays his fingers out on my feverish skin. This kiss is more urgent, more passionate. I let my hand move to the back of his head and suck in a deep breath as he nips at my lip. His hips begin to move again and the hand I’ve tangled in his sunny tresses becomes a fist.

His elbows are tucked in and it almost feels like he’s trying to make himself smaller. Does he like to feel small? I almost melt over how endearing he is but I manage to hold myself together. I can make him feel small and cared for.

I can’t help but give his hair a soft tug as I sweep my tongue into his mouth. He lets out the prettiest whine and reaches one hand between us, palming at the front of my shorts as he stills his hips. He’s growing frantic again and I can tell he’s desperate to be touched right now.

He doesn’t let me explore his mouth for too long, instead urging my head back so he can trail kisses along my throat. His lips work down my neck and just as I release his waist so I can slip a hand into his sweats, he begins his descent down my body. Molten lava fills my veins and I freeze in place when his lips trail down my chest while his hands make quick work of my shorts. He doesn’t tug my boxers down just yet, opting to tease me through the thin material. After lifting my hips for him, I look down at him.

I watch as he settles on his belly between my legs and admires the strain in my boxers. He props himself up on one elbow while he runs his free hand along my thigh. He turns and presses a kiss to my other thigh, dangerously close to my dick. “Lixie-” I hiss and he simply hums, allowing his lips to press more tender kisses to my skin and then the material of my boxers. He looks drunk now.

His hand rests on my hip as he begins to mouth at my barely-concealed hard-on and I let out a low groan. He leaves a series of sloppy kisses on the front of my boxers before closing his lips around my clothed tip. I suck in a ragged breath at the sensation and let my head fall back against the headboard with a dull thud. “Felix, please-” I sigh.

I don’t know why I anticipated him to refuse and continue teasing me, but that’s not what happens. He instantly gets up on his knees and urges me to lift my hips, which I do with no hesitation. My cock springs free from its confinement and I hiss slightly. I lift my head with all the strength I can muster and watch him settle back in before wrapping a small hand around my dick.

Something in me is screaming that I need to watch, to take in every second of his attention on me, but it’s becoming hard to hold my head up. The anticipation is driving me up the wall. My breathing is ragged as he gives a few strokes before making eye contact and wrapping his lips around my angry red head. I let out a soft sigh as his tongue swirls around the tip and my eyes slip closed. It’s only just started but this is already the best head of my life.

Then he takes me as far as he can and I feel like I’m floating. The sound that escapes me is choked and draws an amused hum from him. I allow my head to fall back against the headboard once more, the thud much louder this time, but force my eyes open, watching in the mirror as he throats my dick. I take in the way his head bobs over my hips and how his back is arched ever so slightly with the way he’s propped up. I admire the way he has one leg hiked up while the other is stretched out straight.

Between the slurping sounds and the way he’s rutting against the bed, I feel like I’m going to combust. He pulls off to breathe but continues to jerk me and I feel a bubble of disappointment settle in my belly. I know why he stopped but fuck it felt so good. He presses a series of kisses to my hips and thighs as he catches his breath and I almost have the strength to look back down at him but then he swallows me whole again and I almost pass out.

He’s working faster now, with more vigor, and I can’t dream of containing the noises he seems so set on drawing out of me. “Fuck, Lixie, slow down-” I groan, tangling a fist in his hair. He lets out a whimper at the tug and I notice how he bucks his hips harder at the contact as I’m watching his reflection. “I won’t last-”

He pulls off and stops moving, staring up at me. “Look at me.” His voice is oddly demanding and I can’t bring myself to deny him. I lift my head and make eye contact. “Sit up. I want you to watch me make you cum.” I have half a mind to flip things and pin him down, to teach him a lesson for getting so bossy with me, but I let it slide because I’m admittedly desperate to feel his mouth back on my aching cock. I resituate myself without a word and he gives a satisfied sound. “Good boy.”

“Thin ice, Lixie.” I warn and he lets out a soft giggle.

“Worth a shot.” He hums before growing serious again. “I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve gotten off to the thought of sucking you off.” He sighs almost dreamily before taking the tip back in his mouth. He looks up at me as he hollows his cheeks and swirls his tongue yet again, his hand working the rest of my cock. It’s clear he’s set on making me cum before I get the chance to fuck him, before I have the chance to get him equally as worked up.

He’s about to have his way. The knot in the pit of my belly is dangerously close to unraveling and I can’t stifle the noises he’s drawing out of me.

That knot comes undone the second I feel his free hand move to fondle my balls. “Fuck-” I almost drop my head back but the desire to have this image burned in my mind is stronger. Wave after wave of arousal floods my body as I shoot my load into his mouth, his fingertips just barely teasing my balls. I watch as he swallows my cum, my body on fire as he continues to work my dick until I’m about to beg him to stop.

He pulls off right before I open my mouth to stop him and licks his lips. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls himself to his knees and moves up the bed to kiss me. My arms are around his waist and his hands rest on my neck like before. I taste myself on his lips and when I sweep my tongue into his mouth. I’m straining up to kiss him as he’s towering over me and part of me wishes he’d sit down instead of standing on his knees. I don’t voice this, opting instead to focus on how good it feels to be with him like this.

My hands trail along his back, my fingertips ghosting over his skin, and he shivers. How cute. I let my fingers dip past his waistband and he sucks in a shaky breath, not once pulling away from the kiss as I give his bare ass a squeeze. I push his sweats and boxers down in one go and he finally breaks the kiss, looking down between us as his cock springs free. He presses his forehead to mine as I reach between us and he gasps when my callused hand wraps around his dick, his jaw hanging slack.

I realize this is the first time in my life I’m touching a dick that isn’t mine and I feel like a curious teenager all over again. I give an experimental tug, touching him the way I like to be touched, and he whines softly. The sound goes straight to my cock and I decide I have to keep hearing it. It’s just too pretty. He’s just too pretty. “What do you want? Tell me what you like, baby.” I whisper and his breath hitches. I can’t tell if it’s because of the name or the way my hand is working his hard-on, but I’m beyond caring.

“Just- just want you, Bin…” he whispers back and I shake my head.

“You know what I mean, Lix.” I gently nudge him back so I can meet his gaze and his face is bright red. How fucking cute. “I can’t just go for it without you telling me what you like and what feels good. I’ve never slept with a guy before. All the experience I have means nothing in this context.” My voice is gentle, not scolding. He already looks flustered enough.

He nods and swallows thickly as he tries to form a coherent sentence. I know the way my hand is slowly jerking him is making his mind run blank. “I-I’ll show you how. Just…please don’t stop-” His words are cut short by a surprisingly high-pitched moan when I dig my thumb into the slit. “Fuck- definitely don’t stop.”

I can’t help but chuckle softly at his response, feeling empowered by his reaction. “You like it when I do that?” I tease and he nods vigorously. “Words, baby. Tell me, do you like it when I do that?” I may sound like an ass right now but I don’t really care. I’m feeling high from this and every sound he makes pushes me closer to losing myself. I want to hear him say it.

“Y-yes!” He moans out, ducking his face into my neck. “Yes, I love it when you touch me like that. Want you to do it again. Please?” He’s quiet, his voice muffled by my shoulder, but I hear him clearly. I can’t deny him anything. I’ve never been able to deny him anything, even before I was nursing a crush on him. I dig my thumb in again and he lets out a choked sound, bucking into my hand.

He whimpers in distress when I release his cock, his head snapping up from my shoulder with wide, bleary eyes. He looks entirely dazed and disappointed at the loss of contact. Confused even. I sooth him with a quick peck before pulling him against my chest and flipping us so he’s on his back.

He looks pretty staring up at me like this. He always looks pretty, of course, but I’ve wanted to see him under me for so long now. I stare back at him for a moment before ducking down to kiss him. He moves to wrap his arms around my neck but I gently pin his wrists to the bed and he lets out a soft groan.

My lips move to his jaw and I press a few soft kisses there before beginning my descent. I nip at his neck and press chaste kisses to his collarbones; allow my tongue to flick over his nipples, earning a tiny squeak. “Let me hear.” I pause, looking up at him. I can tell he’s holding back and I want to hear every sound he makes. He nods slowly and I peck the center of his chest. “Good boy.” He keens at the name and I grin to myself. “You like being called a good boy, don’t you Lixie?”

“Fucking love it…” He whispers, his head falling back against the headboard. He’s more slumped than I’d been so I can just barely see his face as I move down his body. “Wanted to hear you call me a good boy for so long.” He sighs, allowing himself to get lost in the sensation of my lips on his skin.

“Yeah?” He nods and hums out a soft ‘uh huh’. “I bet you were thinking about it while imagining blowing me, weren’t you?” He gives the same response and I let out a quiet laugh as my lips ghost over his abs. He’s got well-defined muscles, which is a pleasant surprise for anyone who is blessed to see him shirtless.

His dick twitches as I kiss his hips and he whines softly when I don’t immediately touch him. I’m somewhat nervous now as I settle on my stomach between his legs. Again, I’ve had plenty of sex, but never with a man. I’m curious. But I’m also so unsure of myself. I wrap my hand around the base of his cock and hesitantly lick the tip, propping on one arm the way he had only minutes prior.

He gasps softly at the sensation and I do it again, looking up to gauge his reaction. His eyes are screwed shut, his brow furrowed as he focuses on my touch. His lips are parted, allowing puffs of air and soft sounds of pleasure to escape. Slowly, carefully, I wrap my lips around the head of his cock and he lets out a whine so stunning I think I might just pass away.

“Please- more-” He gasps out and I tentatively flick my tongue. “J-just like that…” he whispers, assuring me I’m doing this right. I repeat my actions over and over, my hand working the rest of him, until he’s a worked up, whining mess. I pull off briefly and his head snaps up, his eyes flying open. Before he can ask why I stopped, I lock eyes with him and allow a thick string of drool to drip down from my mouth and onto the tip of his cock before spreading it around with my hand. He whimpers helplessly at the sight and I feel his dick throb in my hand.

Without breaking eye contact, I take him back in my mouth with more confidence than before and set out to finish him off. I want to taste more of him. I ease myself down his cock, taking him as far as I can manage before gagging a bit. He’s nodding at me now, assuring me I’m doing a good job, and my mind runs blank. All I can think about is making him feel good. I finally have him right where I want him - under me - and I’m determined to make this worth it for him.

I repeat my actions over and over until he’s desperately tugging at my hair and bucking his hips. Every time he shoves his cock down my throat, I gag around him and he lets out another pretty moan. He’s losing himself now and I feel powerful yet again. Then he starts begging.

“Please- oh my fucking god- ‘m gonna cum-” He moans out, letting his head fall back against the headboard.

Immediately, I pull off his drooling dick and repeat his previous statement, though my tone is much more demanding. “Look at me. I want you to watch me make you cum.” He lets out one of the most distressed sounds I’ve ever heard from him and quickly complies, propping himself up on one elbow so one hand is still free to tug at my hair. “Good boy.” I coo and take him back in my mouth.

His jaw hangs slack as his grip on my hair grows tighter and tighter to the point it’s painful. I love it. I find myself rutting against the bed just like he had earlier as I dig my tongue into the slit. The sound he lets out isn’t simply a moan, it’s a cry. He’s desperate for release now and he’s so, so sensitive. “A-again! Please- do it again-” He begs and I can’t dream of denying him.

The moment I repeat my actions, I feel his cum against my tongue. I take it all but I don’t swallow. I want him to get a taste of himself. I move up the bed as he comes down from his high and immediately press my lips to his, much like he’d done earlier. I gently grip his chin, urging him to open his mouth. He complies eagerly and I use my tongue to push his cum into his mouth, sharing it with him. We exchange it back and forth for a few seconds before I pull away and swallow what’s left.

“I don’t know what the fuck that was, but it was hot.” He giggles breathlessly and I chuckle softly. If I’m being honest, I don’t know what came over me just then, but it was one of the hottest things I’d ever done. I realize we’re staring at each other but I don’t dare move.

Things are still again, like when I asked to kiss him, except now he’s smiling up at me. We’re comfortable now, less on edge, but I’m far from done with him. I bring my hand to his face and run my thumb over his cheekbone as he leans into my touch, his eyes slipping shut. “You’re so pretty.” I whisper and his cheeks go a soft rose color.

“You’re prettier.” He whispers back, looking up at me. I chuckle and shake my head before he gently pushes me back. I sit up, slightly confused, and he rolls onto his side. I want to pin him back in place but I also have no clue what he’s doing. “You should really learn to put these things away.” He teases as he reaches for something on the other side of my bed.

It’s then that I realize I left my lube laying at the top of the pillow, tucked just far enough out of sight for me to forget its existence. It had slipped between the pillow and headboard, just barely peeking out. I let out a soft huff of laughter and move to take it but he playfully swats my hand away. “Sit.” He gestures to the headboard and I comply, moving to sit with my back against the cool wood.

I watch as he grabs a couple of pillows to recline on and pops the cap on the tube. “I’ve always wanted to put on a show for you…” he murmurs, his legs falling open as he squeezes some of the candy-scented lube onto his fingers to warm it up.

“How fitting. I’ve always wanted to watch you put on a show.” I smirk and he lets out a soft huff of laughter before whimpering quietly as his middle finger circles his entrance. His face scrunches up cutely as he slowly works himself up, soft sighs slipping past his pillowy lips.

After a few minutes of teasing, he carefully presses his middle finger into himself and makes yet another beautiful sound. God I wish I were the one touching him like that. Maybe he’ll let me…

“Fuck, baby, you look so pretty like this…” I groan, watching as he finger fucks himself open for me. I wrap a hand around my dick and watch as he tries not to get too far ahead of himself.

“Yeah? How pretty?” He whimpers, adding a second finger as he looks at me. I see his cock twitch upon the realization that I’m enjoying what he’s doing and my gaze lifts to his face.

“So fucking pretty, baby. The prettiest.” His jaw drops and he lets his head tip back. It’s interesting to see just how much my words affect him.

Then he lets out a whine of frustration. “Can’t reach-” he huffs and I’m all too eager to offer assistance.

“Want me to take over, angel?” Stars fill his eyes at the name as he nods enthusiastically, immediately pulling his hand back to give me access.

“Please…”

I waste no time in grabbing the lube and squeezing some onto my fingers as I bring myself to my knees between his legs. I notice him tense and I pause, worried he might be uncomfortable. “Is everything okay, Lix?” I ask softly, still coating my fingers and warming the lube as I speak.

“Hmm?” It’s then that I see his eyes have become glossy and half-lidded. “Oh- yeah, everything is great.” He smiles up at me but I don’t move so he elaborates. “I was getting ahead of myself.”

“Aww, lost in thought about how it’ll feel when I fuck you?” He nods vigorously and I smirk as I lean down, propping myself up on one hand which is planted by his head. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, you won’t have to wait to find out much longer.” His face goes bright red again as I slip my hand between his legs.

In reality, I’m just as worked up as he is and I’m nervous. I’m talking a big game for someone who has never fucked a guy before. But I’m encouraged by his reaction as I press a slick finger inside him.

His jaw is still hanging slack and he lets out a soft whine. I’m honestly a little surprised by his reaction. He’s already stretched himself a good bit so it’s not a shocking sensation or anything. Is he really that affected by my touch? “C-curl-” He urges and I do, earning a high-pitched moan as my finger comes into contact with his prostate.

With a renewed sense of courage, I begin to finger fuck him, repeatedly dragging my finger over his prostate. After only a minute, he begs me for another so I give it to him, watching his face contort in pleasure as I hover over him. I lower myself down and begin to press kisses to his neck, earning sighs of pleasure.

But then he grabs my wrist, pushing my hand away, and I freeze. “Can’t- fuck, I can’t take it-” He grabs the lube as he speaks and puts more than a generous amount on his palm before wrapping his hand around my hard-on. “Please just fuck me already-” He begs as he coats my dick and it twitches in his hand. He looks up at me with a sly grin. “You like when I beg, Binnie?”

My cock throbs again and I instantly pull my fingers out of him and place my hand over his, bucking my hips when he digs his thumb into the slit. “I fucking love it, angel. Love that name too.” I see the stars in his eyes again and gently push his hand away. He takes hold of his own dick with his messy hand, biting his lip when I line up.

I slowly push in, watching as his lips part and he lets out a soft gasp. I’m short circuiting now. He’s tighter than any woman I ever fucked and now my jaw is hanging slack like his has been since he saw my dick pic. “Oh my fucking god, Lixie…” I choke out before I’m even halfway in.

My face screws up in pleasure and I hiss softly as my hips meet his. I don’t know if he wants me to move yet or not but I have to stay still for a moment or I will finish too early, I can feel it. “Binnie…” I manage to force my eyes open and his expression almost makes me lose myself. He’s staring up at me with half-lidded eyes, his pillowy lips parted and allowing little puffs of air to escape. “Kiss me…” He whispers, following it up with a soft ‘please?’ as he gives his cock a tug.

I don’t need to be asked twice. I plant my free hand on the other side of his head as I dip down to kiss him, making a mental note to change the sheets before letting him settle in for the night. Our lips meet and he tangles his free hand in my hair, giving a soft tug.

I groan against his lips and he continues to pull until it hurts. I wince at the pain and stop my hips from moving as he riles me up. He doesn’t seem to like this and gives another tug. He continues to give sporadic tugs as my tongue sweeps into his mouth until I finally buck my hips. He lets out a broken moan against my lips and I pull back so I can hear him fully.

“Gonna sing for me, pretty boy?” I tease as I snap my hips forwards, earning a loud, whiny ‘uh huh’ as he nods. “Tell me how you want it, baby.” I whisper, giving shallow thrusts as I listen for his response.

“I don’t care.” He groans, working his hand a bit faster. “I don’t care how you fuck me, Bin, just please make me cum.” He begs in a pathetic tone and a thrill runs through my body.

“Any way I want?” He nods and I sit up between his legs. I gently push his hand away from his dick and press his knees towards his chest, my hands supporting him so he can just relax and feel everything I’m doing to him. “Lix?” He looks up and I catch his eye. “Tell me if anything is off, yeah?” I’m so worried I’m going to mess this up somehow. Maybe it’s because it’s Felix, my best friend and the man I’ve had feelings for for over a year, and not just some random guy.

“Of course.” I breathe a sigh of relief and he bites his lip in a failed attempt to conceal a tiny smile. “But don’t expect to hear anything but moans.” I’m slightly taken aback but entirely flattered that he has so much faith in me.

He’s about to encourage me to carry on when I suddenly snap my hips forwards. His jaw drops and his head falls back to the pillows, a quiet moan slipping past his plump lips. “You mean like that?” I tease as I set a steady pace, suppressing my own sounds save for the soft cursing under my breath.

He nods frantically and I just barely notice him wipe his hands clean before holding his legs just above where I’m holding. “Please touch my cock, Binnie. I need it. I need you to touch me. Pretty please?” He begs as I begin to speed up, feeling more confident with every gasp and moan I draw from him.

I release his thighs and wrap my right hand around his dick, stifling a low groan as he lets out a breathy moan that vaguely sounds like my name. My gaze is volleying between where we’re connected, my hand tugging at his pretty cock, and his face, which is screwed up in pleasure. My hips falter slightly when I realize he looks just as pretty as he did in the dream that started this whole mess.

I quickly regain my rhythm and tap his hand, signaling him to release his legs. Once he does, I urge them around my waist. My left hand rests on his thigh, close to his hip, and I massage circles on his feverish skin with my thumb. “F-faster-” He chokes, one hand fisting in the sheets while the other blindly searches for my left hand.

He stops my absentminded motion and takes my hand, lacing our fingers. My heart races at the simple gesture and I give a gentle squeeze as I pick up the pace, hips pistoning at a pace I forgot I could reach. I’m about to speak but every thought leaves my mind when I look down at his leaking cock. Just past that, I notice a bulge that appears every time I slam into him.

“Holy fucking shit-” I hiss as I watch in wonder. A new wave of arousal crashes over me at the sight and I’m hit with the urge to breed him; to make him wholly mine. I know it makes no sense but I can’t help it. “Lixie, baby, you’re so fucking perfect…” I groan and he squeezes my hand.

I release his dick and ghost my fingers over the bulge appearing in his belly with each thrust. He whines in disappointment at the loss of stimulation but lifts his head when he feels my fingertips on his skin. He zeroes in on what I’m fixated on and I feel him clench around me, drawing a loud moan from me. “Oh fuck-” His jaw drops as he watches, precum dribbling on his skin at the sight, which only makes it hotter. “Oh fuck ‘m gonna cum-” He warns and I instantly wrap my hand back around his cock, set on finishing him off.

I’m fighting to stay composed as I fuck into him. I want him to cum first. And he does. He lets out a cry that resembles my name as cum spurts across his belly, his grip on my hand tightening as he shudders in pleasure. I don’t stop jacking him off until he’s trembling and squeezing my hand almost painfully. Finally, I release him. “Where do you want it, bab-?”

He doesn’t even let me finish speaking. “Inside. Please cum inside.” His tone is desperate as he begs and he sounds close to tears. Not being able to refuse him, I let go.

My thrusts become sloppy and a moment later my orgasm crashes over me. I rut into him desperately, my entire body overtaken by a euphoria I’ve never experienced before. I’m pinning his hands above his head as I fall into him even before the ecstasy has passed, hips still jerking as I crash my lips to his in a desperate kiss.

He moans against my lips, squeezing my hands as my hips slow. Finally, I still as my tongue dips into his mouth. He still tastes like that blue raspberry lollipop from earlier.

I hum as I pull back for air and he bites his lip as he looks up at me. We stare at each other in silence, both of us praying that this isn’t a one time thing but neither of us willing to ask. I release his hands in favor of playing with his hair after pushing it out of his face. “You did so good.”

“Mm usually I’m the one giving the praise, sweetheart.” I tease and he giggles softly, bringing his hands to my cheeks and tracing my cheekbones with his thumbs.

“Well I’m the one with more experience so I get to dole out praises this time.” He sticks his tongue out playfully before smiling up at me again. “Seriously though, you’re fucking amazing.”

I lean down and peck his lips again before sitting up, pulling him with me so we’re still chest to chest. I’m vaguely aware of the way our bodies are pressed together, his cum smearing across both of us now. More importantly, I’m aware of how the change in position drives me deeper into him; aware of the tiny gasp that slips past his lips.

“I think that’s you, baby.” I whisper and peck his lips again. I can’t help myself. I’ve wanted to kiss him for a whole year now.

He goes quiet for a moment as he looks at me and I wonder what he’s thinking. Before I can ask, he’s tipping us over and I’m landing on my back beneath him. “No, it’s you. I can’t get enough.” He whispers and rolls his hips.

I hiss at the motion and plant my feet on the mattress, trying to tighten my grip on him to hold him still while I buck into him, but he pushes my hands away. He grabs my wrists and pins my hands by my head at first, pulling back so he can look down at me. My softening dick begins to stiffen again and I make a mental note to contemplate exactly why it was so hot to be pinned down by him when he’s the most obviously submissive man I’ve ever met. Then he releases me and sits up properly on my lap.

“What have you done to me?” He whines softly, lifting himself up so just the tip is inside before dropping back down. I raise an eyebrow as my hands move to his hips and he tips his head back, looking up at himself in the mirror. “You already wrecked me, why am I still so fucking horny?”

I can’t help but chuckle at his complaint. “What? Tiny baby needs to be filled with cum again to feel satisfied?” My tone is mocking and I can feel the effect my words have on him. He clenches around me as his whole body tenses and I see his eyes slip shut in the mirror as he makes a pathetic noise.

“Yes! God yes-” He moans, pushing into my touch when my hands move to squeeze his ass. “Want you to fill me up again. Wanna make you cum for me again…” He babbles on as he lifts himself up and drops back down, letting out what almost sounds like a squeal.

He sets a steady pace like this, a symphony of the prettiest sounds I’ve ever heard falling from his lips as he rides me. His head lolls around, alternating between watching himself in the mirror and looking down at me. I can’t tear my eyes away from his body, fixated on the way his muscles contract and the bulge that appears as he fucks me.

I don’t know what possesses me to do this, but I slap his ass and he jolts on top of me. His dick twitches and he moans out my name. He leans forwards and places his hands on my abs, balancing himself as he rocks back on my dick. I buck my hips and he whimpers. “No no no, lemme do it. I wanna do this. Wanna make you cum…” He argues and I can't deny him anything so I comply.

It’s difficult to stay still but I settle for guiding his hips. His head hangs as he rides me, his moans growing increasingly desperate each time our bodies meet. My body is on fire at the slight overstimulation but I welcome it.

Felix doesn’t seem to be faring as well. His moans have turned into cries and he tries to hide his face from me by tossing his head back as he sits up. I see it though and I notice the tears. I’m worried but he’s still going, lifting himself up with much effort and dropping back down in a heap. “Baby, do you need a break?”

“J-just a little…” he wipes his cheeks but doesn’t stop moving. “But I wanna keep going.”

“Why don’t you let me take over, Lixie?” He shakes his head and I gently squeeze his hips. “Please, angel?” He freezes at the name and nods after a moment of silence.

I immediately sit up and make him lay back before pulling out, some of my cum leaking out of him. I don’t bother asking him to roll over, I position him myself. I put him on his belly and push one leg up, like the way he’d laid while sucking me off. I grab his ass and see him clench around nothing, whimpering at my treatment of him. “Please fuck me, Binnie…” He whines out and I squeeze some more lube onto my dick before I line up.

I push into him and set a rough pace, giving his ass a slap as I listen to his wails. His hands fist the sheets as lewd squelching and the sound of skin slapping fills the room. He lets out a pretty sob every time I slap his ass.

My gaze bounces back and forth between his ass - I can’t help but admire the way it jiggles every time I slam into him - and his hands twisted in the sheets. He looks so pretty on display for me like this, crying into my sheets. It’s better than any dream I could’ve had and my dick twitches inside him. Fuck I’m close.

“Fuck- Binnie, please cum inside! Please- want you to cum first and fill me up-” He begs and my dick twitches again.

“Yeah? Gonna take it all like a good boy? Gonna cum and make a mess of my sheets?”

“Yes!” He sobs and I can't help myself. I give in to the fire licking at my skin and cum, relishing in his moans as I fill him up. He shudders beneath me as he joins me, his body jerking with the force of his orgasm.

I don’t stop until I’m on fire, until I can’t take it anymore. He’s trembling now. I pull out slowly and he makes a small sound of protest. I lean down and press my lips to his shoulder, kissing there several times before sitting back up. “You did so good for me, baby. Took it so well.” I coo as I gently roll him onto his back, only to discover he’d had a dry orgasm.

“Yeah?” He asks hopefully and I nod, leaning back over him and swiping my knuckles over his cheeks to dry his tears.

“Yeah.” I offer a small smile before pecking his pouty lips. “Why don’t you let me get you cleaned up and then we can snuggle?”

“How about I go get cleaned up while you change the sheets and then we cuddle?” He laughs softly, taking in a shaky breath afterwards as he stares up at me in what I can only describe as adoration.

“Do you want me to help you to the bathroom?” I ask as we both sit up and he shakes his head.

“It’s okay. I’m okay.” He assures me as he stands. Part of me deflates a little because I want to dote on him, but that part is pacified when he turns around and plants his lips on mine. I rise up on my knees as we kiss, pulling him against me. I frown a little when he pulls back. “I’ll be right back.”

I nod and watch him walk into my en suite bathroom before pulling myself from my trance. Holy shit. I fucked my best friend.

I get up from the bed and quickly pull the sheets off, using them to wipe his cum off my stomach and clean my dick. I toss them in the hamper and grab a pair of boxers, pulling them on before going to the closet to get fresh sheets.

I’m wrestling with the fitted sheet when Felix comes out of the bathroom and grabs his boxers from the floor. “Need a hand?” He teases, his usual glow back tenfold.

“Maybe a little.” I chuckle and he helps me quickly finish making the bed before crawling under the sheets. I join him and prop up on one arm, resting my head on my hand. I take a moment to admire him, his bright eyes framed with long lashes and full lips that could easily put any Bratz doll to shame, before speaking. “How long did you know?”

He takes a moment to take me in as well before answering. “I only assumed, but ever since you told me you had ‘an intimate dream about a guy’ after icing me out for two weeks. It made sense. I wondered why you avoided me but then you told me you had that dream and I guessed it had something to do with me.”

“Then…how long have you thought about sleeping with me?” I might be pushing my luck but I’m curious.

“Long before you ever questioned your sexuality.” He scoffs at himself and looks down at my bare chest with a ghost of a smile, his cheeks going a soft pink. “I think it started that day at the park when we were in high school. Remember that picnic we went on? You were by my side the whole time and you complimented me a few times. You just looked so good that day and you were so laid back and fun, I couldn't help but admire you. That never really changed though, you being carefree.”

It’s my turn to blush now. A smile creeps onto my face as I listen and I finally wrap an arm around him, pulling him against me. “That long?” He nods and I kiss his forehead. “You must’ve known something I didn’t back then.” I tease.

“No,” he laughs. “I used to lament the fact I had a crush on the straight guy.” He snuggles into my chest and lets out a soft sigh. “Part of me wondered if I was ever obvious about it. I don’t know if I ever acted weird around you. I feel like I did.”

“If you did, I never noticed. You’ve always been a sweetheart, I just figured you were extra sweet in private with everyone.” I laugh in spite of myself. How did I never pick up on it? To be fair, I thought I was straight until a little over a year ago. “It’s endearing.”

“It is?” I can hear his smile in his voice.

“It is. Everything about you is. You’re the resident sunshine, after all.”

“I like when you call me stuff like that.”

“Yeah?” He nods. “I think ‘angel’ is your favorite, hmm?” He nods again and I kiss the top of his head before laying my head down. “Cute. Well I’m glad you like it because I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“You better not.” He’s pouting now, I’m sure of it.

“Don’t worry, baby, I won't.”

“Good. You better keep calling me your baby.” I can’t stop the smile I’m wearing from growing wider.

“I will because you are.” I hum. I don’t know what we are but I do know we’re more than friends and I do know I’m never getting over him. “Sweet dreams.” I whisper when I notice his breathing even out.

Whatever this is, I’m content to hold him in my arms for the rest of the night.

#kpop smut #stray kids smut #stray kids #stray kids changbin #changbin #changbin smut #chanbin x felix #changlix #changlix smut #stray kids felix #lee felix #lee felix smut #kpop pride #pride month event 2023 #this was the result of several months of severe brain rot #i hope you like it #because it's one of my favorites #alura’s works

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weebsinstash · 1 year

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Why did I... Why did I kinda sorta imagine Erasermic the entire time with that one Emperor x Empress Reader x Male Concubine concept. Like. Aizawa as the Emperor and Hizashi as the concubine? Oomph.

Ok so this is definitely not the response you were looking for but when I was reading that Professor Venomous fic the other day WHICH SIDENOTE IS NOW LIVING IN MY HEAD RENT FREE BY THE WAY

(If you've never heard this man's voice before let me assure you yes the creators ARE trying to make you horny on purpose)

Anyways I was reading that fic and it reminded me how I would watch OK KO and I would think of a sort of reader insert character whatever always kind of popping in and out and sarcastically teasing people or making smart ass remarks towards Venomous and Boxman while they try and fail at villainy and go about their goofy antics and such and I suddenly had that epiphany of "oh wait isn't that just kind of the dynamic i liked about Erasermic, one of them is goofy and weird and the hot one is dark haired and more composed and all growly and shit" because I mean

like am I having a stroke or do they not have similar energy, like for the love of God BOXMAN AND VENOMOUS LITERALLY GET FUCKING MARRIED (seriously go watch OK KO its actually good though) and also they're both canon bi/pan btw, but like. Is this just the point in my life where I'm being horny for goofy ass weird men or moving towards a phase where I'm more attracted to narrative potential other than outright physical appearance at least in terms of writing things 👀 who knows

That being said I've been thinking of that concubine and emperor x reader idea and idk who I would use in terms of if I substituted characters, it might be fun to go more original, idk.

I thought of this idea of like, what sort of events could be that stereotypical "i didn't even fucking do anything and you're blaming me" and I thought of like, if the male concubine is so incredibly clingy and dying for reader's approval, imagine she catches him like bullying/horribly punishing a servant for a dumb reason and chews him out for him and has him escorted out of her palace and shuts the gates, and he just waits kneeling and calling out for her begging to be let back in, and Reader just completely ignores him because if she can't outright pubish him as the beloved concubine she can at least remove him from her little manor so he won't hurt her servants. And I imagine she tells the guards and other workers to completely ignore him because SURELY he'll eventually leave, right?

Except it starts pouring rain and you get a bad feeling and you rush outside and HE'S STILL THERE, ALL THESE HOURS LATER, SOAKING WET AND SHIVERING. So now fuck, you have to bring him in, and the whole time he's like "I knew you would come for me" and like little pathetic simping shit that makes it obvious he doesn't care about the punishment if he even realized it was one at all and he's just all but purring you pulled him out of the rain because, oh poor thing can't you see he is just cold and shivering? 🥺 is he one of those psychos who would hurt himself for your attention? Maybe, actually, if it works 😩 but of course the stupid little twunk is sick now with a horrible fever and of course who else but the Emperor is showing up "you had him kneel out in the cold until he fell ill? How heartless are you?" When it's like NO HE'S THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO STAY OUT THERE and I imagine the Emperor gives some sort of punishment like "well if you want to be left alone so badly then I suppose you won't need to leave your palace or receive guests for the rest of the season"

Reader has her hands full with all these conniving obsessive little shits 😩

#sinprompts #yandere stuff

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whitelunaria · 9 months

Text

Senior [Itadori Yuuji x Fem! Reader]

You've always had a crush on your junior, Yuuji. You guys are in the same extracurriculars and you're very close to him.

"Do you want to warm up first?" Yuuji asked.

You gave a small nod. "Want to warm up together?" you ask back.

Yuuji immediately smiled brightly and nodded. You warmed up before starting your swimming activities.

The man helps you to stretch your body. His big hands managed to make your cheeks blush.

You know that Yuuji doesn't feel the same way about you. He never acted shy towards you and was very friendly with his girl friends.

You know that you should be self-aware. There's very little romance between older girls and younger boys anyway.

Yuuji who noticed that you let out a long breath immediately noticed you. "What's wrong? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing. Going swimming now?" you asked.

You could see some of the other students already swimming. Having a coach who rarely comes makes you have freedom.

Yuuji took your hand and jumped into the pool. You smiled and saw his hair moving in the water.

You swim to the surface and stare at each other. You tried to stop yourself from pulling him into your arms.

"I never thought I'd graduate in three months," you chuckle.

"Do you want to stay here or leave?" Yuuji asks.

You think for a moment. "I think I'll study outside. I don't know, it depends on my parents."

You then remembered something. "Gosh, I almost forgot that there's a study date now."

"Study date?" asked Yuuji confused. His face looked unhappy.

"Ah, that's just Yuta's term. Maki and Toge also don't understand why Yuta wants to be called that."

You sat down on the pool and moved your feet. "I'm going home now. I want to get ready."

Yuuji did nothing and just watched you leave. If only you could see Yuuji clenching his fists.

You arrived home and quickly cleaned yourself up. You looked at yourself in the mirror and imagined that you were much prettier than this time.

You came out of the bathroom and almost screamed when you saw a shadow sitting on your bed.

Your eyes rounded when you realized that it was Yuuji. How did that boy get into your room if you had locked the door? Your eyes fell on your open window.

"Yuuji?" you called softly.

The boy turned his head and he smiled. Your body tingles slightly when you see him opening your cell phone.

"You don't have to go to that study date anymore. I already told the others that you can't come."

Yuuji was now standing in front of you wearing only a towel. You can feel his erect lower part. He deliberately pressed it right against your womb.

"I've always liked you. You're really pretty, but you never seem to be interested in romance," Yuuji whispered while trying to remove your towel.

Your heart was beating very fast. You let him remove your towel and now he can see your naked body.

Yuuji's breathing got heavier and he started kissing your lips. You kissed him back and you knew that both of you had no experience in this kind of thing.

You both went to your beds and now you were underneath him. You didn't resist at all because you knew that you always wanted this.

"I've liked you too since you first came to extracurriculars, Yuuji. But it feels weird when an older girl likes a younger boy," you said.

Yuuji rounded his eyes and immediately kissed your neck. "It's not strange at all. I'm just happy that you like me too."

You hugged Yuuji and let him do what he wanted with your body. Your mind is already gone because you love this man too much.

Yuuji looked at both your breasts and licked his lips. He immediately sucked your nipples very roughly.

"Ahh~! Slow down Yuuji! I'm not going anywhere," you say while running your fingers through his hair.

The man smiled and bit your nipple. You can only squeal and sigh. You love him too much that you can't stop him.

"Sit on the floor," Yuuji ordered.

You immediately sat down and your face faced Yuuji's crotch. He opened his pants and the erect penis was now right in front of your face.

He deliberately put the penis in your mouth and you could inhale his scent which made you dizzy.

You open your mouth and start licking Yuuji's penis. You've never done this, so you look really bad.

Instead of being annoyed, Yuuji is happy. He knows that the first and last penis you sucked was his.

Feeling bored, Yuuji lays you down on the bed and stares at your vagina for a moment. He inhaled deeply and started licking it ferociously.

"AHH~! Yuuji! I'm about to cum!" you squeal.

"Just let it out."

Your juices came out as soon as Yuuji said that. The man got up and grinned. Yuuji uses a condom and then rubs the head of his penis on your vagina.

"Do you want me to enter you?"

You nodded vigorously. "YES! I want to... Yuuji, hurry up and put it in... but slow down. I'm still a virgin."

Yuuji chuckles and kisses your lips. He started to insert his penis in your vagina and you both sighed.

Thanks to the stimulation Yuuji gives, you only feel a little pain and it all goes away as soon as Yuuji moves his penis.

"Ahh..." you sigh.

Yuuji moves his penis and doesn't stop kissing your face. You didn't take your hands off Yuuji's shoulders either.

The boy's penis was so big, it was as if he intended to crush your womb. You could feel your sweaty bodies. Your and Yuuji's eyes met.

You smiled and held his face. You didn't expect the things you dreamed of to come true. Although the behavior Yuuji gave you seemed abnormal, you didn't care.

Yuuji lifted your body and began to pound your body with his penis. Your eyes widened as his movements became more and more brutal.

"I'm going to cum! AHhh-!"

"AHHHH!"

Yuuji immediately pounded his penis deeply. Your body trembled as you had another orgasm. Yuuji hugged your body and buried his face in your chest.

"You don't have a crush on that Yuta, right?" Yuuji asked softly.

You shook your head. "How can you think that? Even though I often give you the code that I like you."

"Because Yuta once told me that he likes you."

Your mouth opens and you think again. No wonder it feels like Yuta always acts strangely when he is with you.

"Want to go for round two? I still have a lot of condoms left," Yuuji offers.

"Sure," you answer shyly.

***

preview extended version - 2010 words (available on patreon-https://msha.ke/whitelunaria)

"Put it all in, you can do it," Yuuji says while holding your hand.

You widen your eyes when all of his penis has entered your vagina. What they said was true. That position made Yuuji's penis push deeper into your womb.

"Yuuji... I'm afraid of hurting my womb," you whine.

Yuuji chuckled. "Do it slowly. Let me help you move."

#methimlastnight #jujutsu kaisen #fanfic #yuuji x reader #kinda dubious #jjk smut

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punkscowardschampions · 1 year

Text

Mafi Pt.1

Mattie: [Okay ladies, it is a good six months since you would have last seen each other for Leavers which is the end of June/start of July typically; safe to say we did not in the SLIGHTEST expect to be seeing you today, at Jay’s engagement party of all places, so the double-take we do will actually be comical like HELLO ?!! Of course, we’re coming over, hopefully, you had enough time whilst we were in shock to say hi to Dolly who actually invited you here, excuse us everyone ‘cos none of y’all know who this girl is so you will all be peeping on the low like who dis as we’re giving you a hug literally like ‘I can’t believe it!’]

Fi: [Like, there is a slim chance you maybe saw each other if she was loitering around in September because uni doesn’t start until October if we want that, but yeah, regardless the shock and awe will be dramatic, I’d like to point out before I have her hug this gal back and say something that because she is super gay she absolutely has one of the last sweet pea flowers of her last season at school pressed and in her phone case, whether Mattie clocked that at the time or isn’t going to until tonight when this bitch is taking pics, but ANYWAY, hug her back and say ‘hello, miss’ being unnecessarily flirty about calling her that again, just because, but CLEARLY buzzing to see her and smiling so big like hey]

Mattie: [when you get to be gay so you can go full force with the romantic drama, shine my boo, shine, I’ll say whether that has been clocked or not we’re not mentioning it in front of the rest of the crowd rn; shaking your head and giving her the friendliest of pushes like oh, you ‘Please, even if we were in term time, you only ever called me that to get a reaction’ me like a reaction, lol ok girls, doing our big grin ‘so, how was first semester?’ ‘cos why do we go American when uni, to feel fancy? Idk but go off and also of course we want to know how it has been]

Fi: [this is my moment, sang like the martine mcclutcheon song obvs hehe, doing a cheeky eyebrow raise at the word reaction, gotta ‘and without fail, it worked every time’ like yep, we both know exactly what I’m doing and why, emphasising this unnecessarily by touching her in some way related to her ootn but super flirtily, whether that’s like touching her waist or back because of outfit deets or her hair for a hair accessory or purely straight coming at her jewellery, either way like nice because we approve, having already drawn attention to her own outfit choices by acting like she’s gonna stumble to her death in whatever shoes she’s rocking cos of Mattie’s gentle af push lol, of course being a massive nerd about everything to do with uni, lowkey giving her too many deets not just about her course but who she’s met and what she’s been up to other than class cos has always been your vibe to talk and talk and talk to this gal about everything, excuse us everyone, eventually, when she’s exhausted the uni topic, asking ‘how’s things with you, at your end?’ which means how’s you and how’s work going/how’s my gals at school etc but also means how’s the old form teacher who bullied me because I vibe that before she left she told Mattie the full story about that, having the energy of in a kind of spark, minus the autism, but her being a handful and said teacher handling it ALL wrong, so she’s hoping that lady isn’t a form tutor any more as of this year]

Mattie: [doing the sort of you-got-me shrug with a lil smirk because we know we fell for it in all the ways ‘easy target, I believe you said’ not us harkening back to the first day like an insane person, miming a little shooting a bow and arrow moment before you’re putting out a hand and holding her arm to steady her lest she actually hit the deck, so now we’re just holding each other in a very casual way, nbd, after LINGERING, pull your hand away and fold your arms as you get into this convo, giving her that lowdown on all the things that might have changed and the things that haven’t ‘you’ve not felt too homesick then?’ IMMEDIATELY putting our hand on your arm again, in that comforting way because everyone does the first year and the way we clearly mean for the school more than we mean your literal family there]

Fi: [‘did I?’ said with the tone and smile of knowing you did because she remembers but downplaying it like lol lol what am I like and how rude of me, love how immediately gay y’all are being at this function and the fact you’ve barely said hi to Dolly, amuses me greatly ‘it’s been bearable, thanks to keeping busy, you know’ genuinely and in a subtle I’m soz I haven’t been in touch kind of way ‘the place hasn’t fallen apart without my leadership then?’ obvs glad actually but doing a lil pout about it like the audacity]

Mattie: [she’s clearly used to it and this was your vibe before but it is rude when she’s specifically invited you for backup tonight, which we are aware of because not a crap sister despite how we’ll feel like one when this all goes down ‘it isn’t the same without you’ as genuinely, even if we’re doing a little lol at your pout, using Dolly to move her closer to you and push ourselves away like must mingle ‘cos really, you must ‘be back in a sec, it’s so good to see you’ not the brush off it invariably sounds ‘cos we truly are and are all too aware we could stand here and ignore everyone else all night if we let ourselves]

Fi: [SUCH a genuine smile at her admitting it’s not the same without us, shamelessly, not soz ‘I can’t get used to not seeing you every morning either, it’s too strange’ despite the fact we’re waving her off to go and mingle because this bitch is the queen of mingling so she knows what’s up, like yeah yeah go it’s fine, catch up with Dolly for a minute because keeping her sane is the actual reason why you’re here, but I am also gonna have to say you talk to the happy couple to say congrats because she would on her way to get y’all drinks or something, so when she’s talking to Jay/Noah/both and they mention Mattie, cos you clearly know her lol, saying like it’s bants cos of how great she is or to confirm the lewk she’s serving ‘I had the biggest crush on her in school’ which I’m gonna need Mattie to overhear without the rest of the convo because Winnie insists, even though she isn’t shouting it across this party or anything haha]

Mattie: [a meaningful look back as if to say hold that thought because the strangeness cannot be overstated because y’all were her first year of leavers, so she’s yet to get used to the machine of getting to know kids at 11 or whenever they join and then waving them off at 18, not at all mentioning the possibility or the specificness of not being used to not seeing YOU every day, nope lol; Winnie says we owe him so much sapphic tension now, thanks, when you don’t have an ego at all so you’re thinking she must mean Dolly which is awkward because we know Dolly is very straight from the confiding she would have done about some of the Swiss school nonsense]

Fi: [soz that will seem true because when she gets back from her congrats for the happy couple she’s gonna be doing everything a good friend would to make sure Dolly has a good time at this party, including so much chatting and so much dancing, it’ll seem very gay and very like you do have a crush on her now lol]

Mattie: [I can’t help that she isn’t a bitch to assume that’s about her, Winola, there’s nothing I can do hun, when you’re now like oh no, do I need to stealthily save Dolly from this situation or nah, what a comedy of errors; at least the grandparents are also there and they could need to talk to Dolly so we can butt in at some point like grandma needs you girl go ‘can I get you a drink? that only being a novelty on my part, though it is’ at Fi]

Fi: [look around comedically and dramatically like you do when you’re checking someone has really gone before you answer because in solidarity with Dolly she hasn’t been drinking alcohol while they’ve been vibing cos just the kind of bitch she is, again it looks gay though, doing a face and lol of relief like oh thank god as if you are that desperate for a real drink cos that party girl persona you put on from her literal first day with the practice telling off of it all, and nod as you say ‘sure’ too eagerly but don’t elaborate on what you actually want, because again this bitch]

Mattie: [looking after Dolly with a smile like yes, I know because you’re not teetotal yourself but you know where her disdain comes from and you can’t blame her for it, nor do you not think it’s a legit response because duh, James is your dad, you know the score; looking back at this girl and going to do another oh, you shove but stopping yourself like oh no, must not, lest you topple over again ‘you’re still fond of a guessing game’ like that hasn’t changed either, I see]

Fi: [smiling too big about the bants of her calling you a pisshead because we just love that the rapport is still here and hasn’t changed ‘with you’ no notes, just remembering the Emily Spinach moment and I’m sure countless other guesses Mattie has slayed that we’re yet to write but just know exists]

Mattie: [doing your own smile back and silently reminiscing with you because the only way you could’ve got that Emily Spinach one is by being that gay and we all know it lol, you love to see it; ‘just know I’m playing it safe, lest you be unable to keep up with your noble escort duties’ like I KNOW your fave drink would be something more hardcore but I won’t get you smashed when you need to be good company for Dolly, ‘cos not having you think we’re lame here]

Fi: [‘as long as you’re aware I’m only allowing it because I take them extremely seriously’ gesturing at herself and her outfit cos her and Dolly are lowkey matching here like yep gotta be the best plus one this town has ever seen lol, cos she do, despite also knowing Mattie would be at this and wanting to see her, not saying at all that’s the only reason she came ‘and you’ll owe me a dance, we haven’t had one together since leaver’s ball’ oh lord imagine how gay that night would’ve been please, not this girl being like I KNOW that’s unsafe and you gotta to even the score]

Mattie: [doing a little bow like but of course as you gesture at her as well like I see what you’re doing here and we approve, then reaching to whisper in your ear, if in a stage fashion to make it less serious so you can deal ‘you look more dapper than the soon-to-be-groom’ ‘cos Nay did not get the memo and all their guests have outdressed them really, soz; walk to the bar situation girl before you can acknowledge you’ve made your own cheeks pink here ‘and I’ll have your drink for you’ as you’re walking away because you can have a strong one, I’m sure it’s your first drink that isn’t the champagne you politely sip at these sort of functions]

Fi: [it’s her laugh making that so much flirtier and gay, because it seems like Mattie said something way more flirtier and gay than she did, for me, plus giving her the gentle push that Mattie didn’t go through with but a moment ago like oh you, get out of here ‘dorm inspections all over again’ called after her, like ty for the reminder cos was homesick, we can all imagine what was getting confiscated and again what you are saying about yourself]

Mattie: [shaking your head as you’re walking but not turning around so you can’t see the 😏 we’re also doing, order her some sort of wine vibe whilst you get yourself a cocktail because we all know cocktails go the hardest, whatever the male ego says about them being pretty and fruity, like there’s usually at least 2 types of liquor in them if not more]

Fi: [when you are gonna lowkey down that drink ASAP because it would be your first one with booze in it if you arrived late and didn’t get the welcome champagne, and like, you’re nervous to be reunited with this gal in this setting, but distract from the fact you just did that by playing a guessing game about what her cocktail is]

Mattie: [‘I can sneak you another under the table’ again in your stage whisper, like I know the party isn’t jumping that much you gotta be in her ear, just talk normally hun; but we legit sympathise with being at a party with only 3 people you know, Lulu barely at all and she’s busy doing whatever she’s doing, and not being able to loosen up with a drink if that’s your normal, which it is most people’s, doesn’t actually make you a party animal by default ‘or, let you have a sip, you can guess the ingredients then’ like we could do that, making a face like ooh, it strong ‘cos clearly lol]

Fi: [the absolute mischief in her eyes at both of these suggestions and absolute delight at who they are coming out of the mouth of, cos clearly love to be a bad influence upon this gal, but there was no encouragement needed, lowkey heart eyes though at her ADORABLE face when she takes a sip because simply must, taking the glass from her and taking her own like she’s doing her a favour sharing here if it is that strong, without making a face, but barely, like she really had to give it her ALL to stop herself from doing one, so then that making her lol, but correctly guessing through said lols, duh, excuse me while I die at her lipstick print on this glass as she hands it back cos we’ve all seen the outfit, we know she’s wearing it]

Mattie: [maintaining unnecessary eye contact as she does her sip, narrowing your eyes and pursing your lips like you’re keeping the closest of eyes on her, trying to guess her guess before it’s out of her mouth; of course the lol is making us do our own heart eyes ‘how do you know what [an obscure ingredient they put in just to be fancy, you know the kind] tastes like ?!!’ with our own laugh like I don’t know, feels like cheating, not us here running our thumb over the lipstick print, your glass by your hip so it’s not like obvious you’re doing it, but we are]

Fi: [‘how would I have a fave bartender for years and not know?’ like what do you take me for, I’m SO knowledgeable thank you, with an unnecessary wink like keep that in the vault with all my other secrets you have I’ve overshared, as she’s pulling her towards the dance floor to have the dance she insists on and won’t take no for an answer about]

Mattie: [rolling our eyes affectionately ‘I assumed you tipped well and she kept quiet about the fakeness of your ID’ the way we’ve assumed it was a woman, got your number lmao but also outing yourself there, get dragged to this dance floor which I hope at least has some of Nay’s friends on because we know the party is not hip happening and the way it’d be a scene for all the nosy hoes if it was just y’all up there now, not that we’re concerned personally, here spinning each other around like kids]

Fi: [‘I did and he did’ my deliberate he to keep her on her toes here as if that’s fooling anybody haha, with a cheeky grin like she’s the devil emoji irl, in contrast to a moment later when she’s doing whatever ballet moves she can remember from her youth because Mattie is literally that ballerina rn and always]

Mattie: [doing a grumpy lil face as if it is somehow worse that it was a man, soz some things seem that way, especially if you’re not checking yourself and your opinions, which we’re not right now because we are spinning and sipping, I like to think your drink has a straw she would have purposely had to avoid to leave her lipstick mark on the glass because I can; doing such a happy clap like YAY when you realise what she’s doing and attempt to direct her with all the french words that I ain’t gonna sit here and look up, get yourself en pointe though hun, literally wearing ballet shoes, v Titanic of you]

Fi: [‘don’t be upset, I’ve learnt my lesson’ because it does read as sketchy af and we’re all aware of the fact, which she’s saying, but it’s also giving the double meaning that you don’t mess around with men/boys anymore so I love that, as do I how hardcore this girl is getting into this ballet lesson, taking her shoes off and everything to see if she can copy this, which you absolutely cannot because that’s so difficult and you clearly did it as a kid for like a couple of years max ‘okay, no, I’m way too sober for that’ as we try and fail, loling, clearly all the more impressed by her skills because of]

Mattie: [‘was it a you thing or a schoolgirl thing?’ like do I need to go to some pub local to this school and scare off some letchy barman, but also acknowledging that it was and is entirely possible that this dude just fancied her and wasn’t fussed she was like 17 or whatever; just having the best time showing off our ballet moves here and teaching you like there’s not people just milling about making small talk over picky food ‘later I’ll have you on your toes then’ leaning down to pick up her shoes to hand her]

Fi: [‘did I look like a schoolgirl out of uniform?’ when you’re genuinely asking like did I look my age/underage for him to be that level of creepy but everything has this double meaning and flirty edge to it that you just cannot help/are not even aware how blatant it is, because clearly she thought he just fancied her at the time, all teenagers think they look and act older and cooler than they do, hence asking for Mattie’s opinion as she’s not one, put your shoes back on and finish your drink like you’re doing your best to be less sober and therefore an iconic ballerina]

Mattie: [genuinely think about it and shake your head after a minute ‘no, I don’t think so’ because some people look super younger than they are and we don’t think you were or are giving that, honestly, we also like to think we wouldn’t have thought you were so quite so pretty otherwise but that’s a guilty thought we’re not sharing out loud, have the rest of your drink, even though there was no need for you to try and keep pace]

Fi: [‘he’ll live another day to serve another overpriced [whatever the cool rich girl drink of the moment was when you were like 15-17 and he was your fave], in blissful ignorance of his narrow escape’ with a shrug like lucky you sir like Mattie was gonna go fuck him up for being a nonce, cos she clearly has form for helping you sort that form teacher who was a bully out, though less dramatically, noticing her lipstick mark on this glass when Mattie drinks out of it again to finish and making a face like oh I’m gonna have to go waste time in the bathroom touching that up again and cba, but dragging her with you cos that’ll make it bearable]

Mattie: [putting up your fists like yeah, I know, I’m very fearsome lol but we truly would have gone down there and shook that man to his core accusing him of things and we all know it, we don’t play about this school and these kids ‘won’t get either of the girls’ quieter but Fi will still be able to hear, ‘cos we know neither twin is off down the pub or going anywhere and we are WORRIED about their lack of socializing honey, happily go and have a bathroom moment, touching our hair like I’m sure some of that has flown out with that wild dance break, having a quick check neither twin or anyone else is in the loos when you get in there, nothing worse than getting caught talking about someone, even if it is with concern]

Fi: [touching Mattie’s arm the way she touched hers when she was genuinely concerned about her being homesick because we see her twin concern and we get it ‘I barely had to talk her into bringing me’ because Fi is that won’t take no for an answer bitch but we’re saying this was actually Dolly’s idea and she clearly has kept in touch too it’s not just Fi being one sided and extra, doing an exaggerated mouth close like it was all her, I promise, but you can style it out into re-applying your lipstick as well so]

Mattie: [making a noise like oh, I know ‘I’m really glad you’re here’ because it is clear progress for Dolly and shows she has it in her, tapping our forehead with the palm of our hand like oh ‘I already said that, didn’t I?’ like how GLAD can I be? Be in this mirror sorting out your hair so you have something to do that isn’t just watching her ‘It’s just typical you weren’t in her year’ like she could do with some company day to day now but shrugging because you can’t force it for either of them at their age]

Fi: [‘for Doll’s sake is different than how you said it before’ like it’s FINE don’t worry you aren’t repeating yourself I know you were glad to see me for your own sake at first ‘I, meanwhile, could go on and on about how I’d kill for more time’ because you miss school however much you’re enjoying uni and some of that is definitely missing Mattie which she has already said]

Mattie: [just smiling at her through this mirror because we’re not going to deny it, we know what we said and why we said it ‘I wonder if anyone actually feels ready or they’re just good liars’ because we felt the same when we went to Uni hence we went very close by so we could stay home like that ‘have you found enough new friends to fill a plague pit?’ nudging into her back with your shoulder, gently and after she’s finished with the lippy so that doesn’t go awry]

Fi: [‘when you’ve had more leavers you’ll be able to conduct thorough research’ as if she’s gonna do a poll, but really just acknowledging what my boo said before about how new Mattie is at this and also how there really isn’t a big age gap between them ‘enough that when we hold hands for ring a ring o roses and all fall down it blocks everyone’s route to lectures for a solid minute, at a guess’ because defs feel like you’ve made lots of friends quick, you are that bitch and you’d throw yourself into it, but putting her head on Mattie’s shoulder because nevertheless it isn’t the same and is an adjustment]

Mattie: [‘it’s horrible’ ‘cos we are that bitch to get emotional every time a year leaves, even though you know you gotta let them fly the nest and move on, god bless lol; just putting your arm around her and then stroking her hair ‘you’ll miss this time one day before you know it’ because true, it’ll fly and then you’ll have that nostalgia to live with as well ‘you’re doing amazingly’ because we don’t doubt it, with the social side of Uni which is arguably more important and the actual course]

Fi: [‘if that’s a heads up not to put myself through it, you’re right on time’ because thinking about becoming a teacher herself fr already, we know, but smiling because we also know that hasn’t changed her mind really ‘I’ll miss this moment specifically, I know it’ literally outing herself like that like right here right now is where I wanna stay forever yes true]

Mattie: [tilting your head like hm? So yours is now resting atop hers, then snapping it up like OMG when you realise and doing your excited clapping again ‘oh, do come back to us!’ half as a joke as you put your hands on her shoulders but also not, pulling her in for a hug ‘you’ll be an incredible teacher, Fi’]

Fi: [when she’s adorable and you CANNOT cope, thank god there is nobody else in here because the hearteyes are back in FULL force at her response to the teacher career reveal ‘I’d love to, if you’ll have me’ which is what she said about uni, if they’ll have me, sounds casual but isn’t at all which is her entire vibe always, making this hug more extra than it needs to be just because she has missed her so much she can’t not ‘you told me such a similar thing on your first day as one’ cos she did and the way she’s always and instantly believed in us has this girl emosh]

Mattie: [we’re just here jumping up and down in this hug, swaying you from side to side, don’t mind us ‘who could be better?’ like you would be perfect, girl ‘you practically served as my TA that whole year, it should count towards your hours’ not us like couldn’t have done it without you, brushing your hair away from your freshly made-up lips]

Fi: [‘I’d do it all again even without your glowing recommendation at the end’ because we know she would, over and over if they could ‘like groundhog day’ never happier than in the last year, soz but it’s true]

Mattie: [‘you’re glowing’ just blurting that out then doing a little lol like back up, what I meant to say was ‘you deserve all the good things that are going to come to you, you’re just- lovely’]

Fi: [‘it isn’t the lighting in here’ shading nay’s engagement venue haha but we all remember from Dolly’s posts the bathrooms were a choice so I can ‘must be seeing you again, hearing you hype me up in the way only you do’ because who else is, not her flop fam and not her school friends who are currently scattered to the four winds fighting for their lives in that weird time after school and uni starting, or uni friends she’s had for a few months]

Mattie: [‘or the booze’ touching both her cheeks with the backs of her hands like no, you don’t have that alcohol glow yet, just lingering and stroking her cheeks, standard ‘well, you know me’ doing a shrug like it’s nbd]

Fi: [‘I know I wanted to talk to you, I’ve never started so many conversations in my life, just to not let them get started’ with her own shrug like that’s such a nbd thing to say]

Mattie: [‘you were busy’ like I know how it is, I wouldn’t be mad at you ‘and it would’ve been wrong for me to, maybe later, give you chance to settle in’ when you’re admitting you wanted to too but as a teacher, that would be weird]

Fi: [‘wrong’ when you gotta let that word sit there because you know it should feel like that but it doesn’t]

Mattie: [moving your hands down to your side and taking a step back, steadying yourself against the sink ‘you wouldn’t want your old teacher hassling you whilst you’re out there moving on’ clutching the cold porcelain of this sink to contrast how warm her skin was]

Fi: [‘you weren’t my teacher’ because true in that literal sense but also because we were friends is how we see it, then and now ‘and moving on is cold’ literally while she’s there with that cold sink ‘like you’ve done your job and now it’s over’]

Mattie: [‘you know that’s not how I see it, how I see you’ as we’re turning back to look at you]

Fi: [‘I kept busy because you’ve had a new year to settle in, and the more I did, the more there’d be to talk about, in theory, but I still couldn’t’ just blurting this out like, it’s so weird I didn’t know how to start a convo cos of how much we used to talk]

Mattie: [‘it’s okay, it’s… everything is different’ because y’all had reason and free reign to talk to each other before, now it’s a real choice, we know it]

Fi: [‘I thought I was the biggest fan of change’ because she was about it before but now this is like !!? and we’re not here for it thank you]

Mattie: [doing a sheepish smile because what can we say, we’re both feeling that !!? honey]

Fi: [just playing with a strand of hair that poor Mattie fixed not long ago, teasing it back out and letting it fall over her face again so she’s looking messy but in a cute way because here for that always]

Mattie: [blushing ‘is that better?’ like you’re purely talking about your hair and not the way you’re moving closer to her again]

Fi: [‘different’ like we’ve gotta reclaim that word from the negative it was used in a sec ago and remind ourselves change can be good it doesn’t have to suck]

Mattie: [nodding like we agree and are on board ‘different’ as if we need to repeat to remind ourself ‘you make me feel different’]

Fi: [‘I was scared I would ruin my streak’ like her being her as Dolly’s plus one wasn’t a good surprise the way they used to surprise each other she’d have to go die, cos imagine, Mattie like, you again]

Mattie: [shake your head like you definitely have not ‘I didn’t know if I’d see you again, or, not ‘til some reunion or…’ shrugging like that wasn’t a very real possibility and we weren’t okay with it]

Fi: [‘if I left it that long you wouldn’t recognise me, which would be completely and utterly bad different, for both of us’ like ew no, cannot]

Mattie: [‘what about me? I’d be an actual old lady, horrific’ like no thank you, not at all casually reaching out for her hand]

Fi: [‘no, but you’d be married, which is worse’ taking her hand and doing a pose like she’s showing a wedding ring off like that would actually be horrific and I’d die]

Mattie: [lol like to who, ma’am ‘I don’t think so’ giving her hand a playful slap with ours like nay nay]

Fi: [looking around ‘how could you not want this?’ shading nay again, soz not soz, but underneath that playful bants it’s like actually though]

Mattie: [cover your mouth like you’ll really cackle if not like oops ‘don’t diss the decor, I did this on very short notice’ like tah, sis]

Fi: [‘I wouldn’t dream of it, the decor’s fantastic, I’m this close to booking in Allegra in preparation for marriage number 3, it’s the charm, so they say, maybe it’ll be a husband we can both stand’ because her mum can’t stand her dad but she can’t stand her stepdad lol]

Mattie: [crossing our fingers on both hands like I hope so because we just want you to be happy, obviously ‘what do you think?’ and nodding your head towards the door ‘of that happy couple?’]

Fi: [lowering her voice to a whisper even though there’s no need ‘your sister is exactly how I pictured her according to your painting’ because you would’ve heard so much about Jay by this point you lowkey feel like you know her ‘he’s less what I would’ve imagined, but I try not to give grown men the amount of headspace I once did, lesson learnt, as I’ve admitted, could be why’]

Mattie: [someone could walk in but it’s not like you’re being cunty or these convos aren’t happening all over this party but I get it, we’re also talking in more hushed tones ‘they’ve been together for a long time’ which she surely knows but as if we’re justifying it here and now ‘you might have the right idea’ ‘cos none of us are sold on this or Noah but it is what it is]

Fi: [‘I know, but I assumed she’d be with someone who, superficially, could bench press both of us at the same time’ soz to drag you to filth like that Noah but Jay is sporty gym gal and that’s one of the biggest things we’ve always known about her so, and she hasn’t talked to nay long enough to be like oh it’s your personality she loves, can’t go on anything but shallow stuff rn]

Mattie: [doing a cute lol because you would assume that was her type ‘is that what your favourite bartender looked like?’ ‘cos you too are a sporty gal]

Fi: [‘it’s what my fave bouncer looked like’ because I always befriended them on nights out, in my case for if I needed help, but you just would, I feel like]

Mattie: [nod like oh yep, that tracks ‘at least he’s suited for his job’ ‘cos what is the point when they’re just fat or not remotely tough like soz it’s v much the point]

Fi: [‘whatever my opinion of them, Doll can count me as her wedding date unless she gets a better offer’ just back to the point here which is how buzzing we are to have got an invite to this, flop event though it may be]

Mattie: [making a face when you realise you’ll have a plus one place to either fill or ignore like oh GOD ‘thank god I can keep super busy’ which sounds like you don’t wanna see her and Dolly together but obviously that isn’t what we meant, swatting our hands like oh, you know what I mean]

Fi: [SUCH an amused face ‘and thank god I won’t keep you waiting until the reception to have another catch up’ cos imagine, that wedding could be forever away, some peeps wait years]

Mattie: [tapping her arm like no, you won’t ‘now the conversation has been started’ like it’ll be easier from here on out]

Fi: [‘when we next stall I can take you out for [whatever the cocktail she just drank was]’ not you admitting it’s still kinda awks and y’all might need to get drunk about it to deal with this sapphic tension]

Mattie: [‘we won’t’ shaking our head so more of our hair comes loose, refusing to acknowledge it could be awkward like nope ‘but I do owe you a proper drink’]

Fi: [playing with said loose hair for no reason whatsoever ‘I owe you your own escort, and my full attention’ because technically here for your sister even though it’s too easy for you both to forget that rn in here]

Mattie: [‘you take it very seriously’ like I remember and you’re very gentlemanly 😌 face before you’re looking at the door like we should probably get back in there]

Fi: [when you see her look towards that door and you go to say something but you only get ‘Mattie-’ out, note the first time she’s used her name this convo though, before someone comes into this bathroom and you don’t wanna finish whatever gay thing you were about to say, so yeah, go out and find Dolly again hun]

Mattie: [the ? on our face before this person rudely interrupts to go to the toilet, it is probably someone you vaguely know so you might have to stay and have a little chat before so let this girl go, however begrudgingly it is]

Fi: [soz Win but it’s a realistic cockblock and you have gotta go back to Dolly anyways, girl, so do that and do your best not to be gutted af]

Mattie: [and you gotta do some more mingling girl, keep this party ticking over for your sins]

Fi: [nobody’s living for the nay engagement but the party doesn’t have to be a total bust just because they are flops]

Mattie: [at least you can get these gals mocktails to enjoy and Gabe whatever he’s been drinking with Lulu because can’t do one and not the other]

Fi: [just know that you are not welcome though Gabe, ever, but it means you can raise your glass at this girl across the room like ty so that’s nice, we like that, even if you blatantly wish it was a cocktail, Fi, you’re being a good friend]

Mattie: [we could have cheated but I think Dolly would know and you are being a good friend, we don’t want to derail you that hard, and we definitely do not like Gabe but at least Lulu is socialising when he’s around so we kind of just put up with him for that sake at this point but there’s no love lost; do your little toast back with the drink you got yourself, not at all romantic just silently communicating across a crowded room, alright taylor]

Fi: [god just take a second to actually think what a dry party this would be because of the age of the peeps mostly being fam like the literal grandparents and Java, and no offence how boring nay are, you really are being a good friend here Fi, I would simply not attend if someone asked me and that was the situation, soz, I fully imagine you and Dolly exploring this venue trying to find anything vaguely interesting or fun to do, we’re all praying for like a giant lawn connect 4 at this point lol]

Mattie: [thank god there is catching up to be done because truly, there’s nothing here for y’all, idek who this party is for lmao, everyone entertain yourselves lowkey, we’ll just be here trying to get Jay to come talk to the twins so they feel included and like there was a reason to bring them here tonight]

Fi: [at least if we say she do, they’ll all be dying, but it’ll bring you 2 back together because Fi literally doesn’t know anyone so she’d be alone else while that awks twin and Jay convo is occurring]

Mattie: [like we’d probably have to do it one by one ‘cos lord knows none of you gals are helping us here but when Jay is making awkward small-talk with Dolly, deffo]

Fi: [soz to throw you under the boring Jay sized bus there Dolly but, I suppose it’s good that she’s vaguely trying to have a catch up with you, agonising as it will be, Fi return the favour and hand Mattie a v alcoholic drink you can tell she needs to deal with how awkward and hard work trying to organise that was]

Mattie: [should Mattie have to encourage you to? No but it’s something, as you are an adult hun; shooting her a look as you take this drink and then your first sip because yeah, we truly need it because Jay is the exact same amount related to these gals as you are and hasn’t put in half the effort, which is like, yeah, your decision but being in the middle of that is a lot ‘aren’t you glad you only have the one little brother?’ raising our brows like these sisters, my god]

Fi: [when you’re just automatically leading her somewhere that you found while you were exploring with Dolly before so Mattie can literally get away from this and have a break because she never gets one and these twins are a lot to be dealing with basically by yourself and all of this Fi has known from basically the beginning cos no secret the gals are weird, Dolly less so obvs hence y’all are legit friends now, but still ‘for all Allegra’s many faults, I can be glad he’s just my little brother, and yeah, I am’ because your mum for all she put on you in terms of pressure at least isn’t making you do more for your little bro than any standard big sister would and you shamelessly are thankful for that]

Mattie: [rich girl perks, you’re not ever going to be needing to look after your siblings like second parents, there’s staff and good schools for that, nodding and sitting yourself down on the floor, wherever y’all are so you can take this moment properly ‘brothers are easier, whatever age’]

Fi: [nod because you feel like you’ve had a lot of sisters with the way your school was set up to make you really look after the younger ones ‘I won’t miss feeling like I’ve got [however many] sisters’ but with a smile because you loved it really, unlike this situation poor Mattie is in]

Mattie: [smile back ‘yeah, right’ ‘cos we know you loved it, before the bathroom heart to heart even we knew that much ‘some sisters are easier than others’ like namely the ones I’m not actually related to lol]

Fi: [‘you’ve had some rotten luck, hence the nobody could call it playing safe drink in your hand’ because where’s the lie, Chlo is also your mum, soz Mattie we’ve really put you through it, girl, and this girl here isn’t gonna sugarcoat it]

Mattie: [do a little lol about how blunt that is but you’re not at all offended because not that type, again taking another sip but purposely taking a bigger gulp like you’re confirming it, like to point out that she would also have 2 younger siblings assuming we’ve got the Java kids we faced so like, wild times lol ‘if I turn this into a pity party though the night is well and truly over’ like we cannot]

Fi: [‘well then, I’ll have to think of how I’m going to turn it back into a party, party’ with that mischievous look back in her eye again, because who is she if not this bitch, hence Dolly invited her to help her have an actually good time]

Mattie: [‘what did you have in mind?’ looking around as if something wild is just going to pop out of nowhere]

Fi: [‘you like to follow clues, I’ll leave some for you’ not this girl just about to set up some kind of spontaneous little treasure hunt moment at the drop of a literal hat like it’s nbd]

Mattie: [shaking your head like oh, okay because who even ‘do I stay here or?’]

Fi: [‘it doesn’t matter, as long as you stay out of my way while I set up the first’ a smile as she messes up Mattie’s hair playfully, which we all know is a clue in itself for her to go back to the bathroom and start there for this first clue, which we likewise all know will be a lipstick message on the mirror because DUH, obvs we’re gonna hark back across their entire relationship with these clues, tonight included]

Mattie: [checking the watch we don’t have on like okay, ready set go energy, waving her off and covering her eyes like we’re not even checking which direction she’s going in even though we picked up on that clue to go to the bathroom in a suitable time]

Fi: [just getting to be the most gay and feelsy of all time with every single clue, god bless, enjoy your trip down memory lane gals, I can only speculate wildly because we don’t know y’all like that after one convo, but the point is clearly to cheer her up and the final clue is blatantly inviting her somewhere after this engagement party is dead and buried because we know it won’t be a late one, Jay doesn’t drink any more and is a gym bitch, I’m sure she has to get up early in the AM even after her engagement party]

Mattie: [we love to see it and are obviously having the greatest time, no need to know y’all to know that much and are definitely going to accept this offer because duh]

Fi: [Dolly will be invited too, of course, so we’ll have to decide if we want her there or not because two very different moods depending if she is or it’s just you two, but either way, I’m just happy the slay outfits won’t be wasted on this boring function]

Mattie: [my boo says I will save the day and the looks, but yes those would be two entirely different vibes at this point so we’d need to pick, ‘cos we’re probably already a little too tipsy to feel comfortable subjecting Dolly to it]

Fi: [we can always do the copout but quite legit vibe that she’s invited but declines because she’s not feeling wherever Fi has decided they’re going, let y’all be gay alone]

Mattie: [I think so, it’s obviously not your scene Dolly and you aren’t in the mood to be in a club with more drunk people or whatever so pop off gays]

Fi: [I don’t blame her, being the sober one on a night out sucks, even if you’re the most sober of the group never mind completely so, but again, cute and nice that you invited her Fi, despite how blatantly you’re hoping she wouldn’t want to actually which is reflected, subconsciously or otherwise, in your choice of venue, you can say it’s cos Mattie’s got her dancing shoes on, which true, but it’s also cos y’all do wanna be alone]

Mattie: [it is very in character of you to dip, not just us or this gal subconsciously being cheeky, it’s cool, soz it does serve us more for them to be alone and it is shamelessly what both these girls would prefer]

Fi: [do you wanna skip to there or should we do some messages when Mattie gets the last clue and accepts her invite?]

Mattie: [let’s do some messages, why not, you’re invariably back with Dolly chilling and we’re lowkey tipsy and overexcited by these shenanigans so]

Mattie: 💌📌💃☁️

Fi: I should’ve made them harder, I can’t believe you’re done

Mattie: Just call me Marple 🔎

Mattie: your own skills are also severely limited by location

Fi: wow, not Jane? I thought we were friends

Fi: my own skills are rusty, you can say it

Mattie: I see my own future as an Aunt Mattie and I am not prepared for that 🧶🌱👩‍🦳

Mattie: I would never say that

Fi: you would never have an affair with a married man, book Marple is closer to your predicted future

Fi: but knitting and gardening are both fun, you could fare much worse

Mattie: the only married men I know are [and list off the male teachers that are and are clearly not the ones, soz huns]

Mattie: 🤭

Fi: there’s hope for you yet, miss

Fi: and with such a long career ahead before trowels and knitting needles, who knows who you’ll meet

Mattie: I understand why teachers were always unmarried women

Mattie: who am I going to meet when my free time is Sunday 😅

Mattie: sounds positively Victorian

Fi: Agatha Christie wouldn’t write you in a new chaplain love interest, but if I’m in charge of the narrative and location, we needn’t be limited at all

Mattie: University is the time for those sorts of adventures, we should be talking about your love interests, potential or already realised

Fi: no we shouldn’t, I’d have to curl up and die, now that’s positively Victorian

Mattie: now I thought we were friends

Fi: we are, thus I’m sparing you the tale of quite how vigorously I attempted to throw myself into that aspect of uni life

Mattie: it’s okay it’s a cliche for a reason

Fi: it’s embarrassing for a multitude of reasons 😬

Mattie: I was a little bit your teacher, then

Fi: no, I don’t care what they think of me, success story or horror show, that part of my life is over

Fi: you don’t belong in there though, and I do care

Mattie: okay, I understand

Mattie: I wouldn’t judge you though, as long as you know that

Fi: I feel stupid, for the kid in a sweet shop approach

Mattie: it’s your first taste of proper freedom, being adult about it is basically impossible

Fi: I had freedom, a lot more than most

Mattie: Lack of an audience, then

Mattie: everyone here knew you, your mother

Fi: every summer spent with my dad afforded me the luxury of the most cliche holiday romance going, had I wanted

Mattie: of course

Fi: but it’s uni that’s the culture shock, and it does feel like a culture, of throwing yourself at everyone

Mattie: if you don’t want to, you don’t have to continue like that, it calms down, most people do

Fi: thank god, a non-stop three year long speed dating event would be exhausting

Mattie: just

Mattie: don’t necessarily go the other way and think that’s automatically a better idea, you know what I mean

Fi: I won’t let you down, I’d hate to

Mattie: why would you let me down?

Fi: I know why I’m here, I’m not allowed to suddenly become boring 🧶🌱👩‍🦳

Mattie: that’s not what I meant

Mattie: I had a very serious boyfriend throughout Uni and I really shouldn’t have, for a myriad of reasons, that’s all I was thinking of

Fi: promising not to get a serious boyfriend’s an easy one

Mattie: you’re allowed to do whatever makes you happy

Mattie: make your own mistakes, even, don’t let me harp on about mine to scare you

Fi: I’m not scared of anything you want to tell me, you’re allowed too

Mattie: I’ve never really talked about him, I try not to

Fi: if you want to, I’ll only track him down and kill him as a very last resort, don’t let it put you off

Mattie: whilst I’m sure your methods would be entirely and gruesomely historically accurate

Mattie: you’re meant to use all that free time between lectures to study, you know 😉

Fi: no one can begrudge me a field trip to a medieval torture museum, it’s the hols 📌🌎🛫

Mattie: quite right too

Mattie: he was, in hindsight, someone I wouldn’t want any of my friends to go out with

Mattie: but I didn’t realise it wasn’t a me problem at the time, that’s all

Fi: oh Mattie

Mattie: but he’s long gone, we don’t need to worry about this

Mattie: the final straw was when I took the placement at the school

Fi: just when I thought I couldn’t be any more glad that happened

Mattie: it’s why I had to work there, not that I put that on my application, or talked about how the placement saved me in my interview

Mattie: all a bit much… but he could no longer monopolise my time, control me and where I went, it was like the spell was broken after that

Fi: I can also easily promise not to relay it to your bosses, ancient history doesn’t automatically mean I’ll become obsessed

Mattie: No one knows, only [the teacher you did your training with aka your bestie], unavoidably so as she was there through the whole mess

Fi: What about your family?

Mattie: it would be too upsetting, to think I didn’t know better, and he was always very nice in front of everyone else, doting, even

Fi: deserving of [just namedropping the most horrific medieval torture device possible]

Fi: I’m sorry you had to go through everything he put you through and come out of the other side alone

Mattie: thank you, it’s all okay now

Mattie: and I suppose it was my choice to be alone, I don’t know

Fi: choice is too hard on yourself, he must’ve made you feel like you didn’t have another

Mattie: it was shame, really

Mattie: how we were was my fault because I’d never had a proper partner before so I didn’t know how to be

Mattie: then after, well, it was shaming in another way entirely

Fi: it wasn’t your fault he took advantage of your inexperience and used it to his

Mattie: I know that now, therapists work wonders

Mattie: I promise I didn’t come into teaching entirely unhinged, whatever the kitsch coffee mugs suggest about needing a certain level of insanity to do the job

Fi: you’re the most level-headed person I know

Mattie: you wouldn’t have thought that if you met me at your age, or even the year before you did…

Mattie: people can get a little off track, at Uni, in those in-between years

Fi: had I met you then, if we were the same age, he wouldn’t have lasted long enough to do any lasting damage

Fi: I wouldn’t have allowed it

Mattie: I believe that

Mattie: you’re very strong

Mattie: not physically, though you are, obviously

Fi: stubborn, perhaps

Mattie: that too

Mattie: but strong

Fi: I’m feeling strong waves of regret about any jokes I may have made which aren’t funny in light of what you’ve shared

Mattie: don’t, you weren’t to know

Mattie: no one does, as I said, and I preferred it that way whilst I worked it all out in my head… maybe I’ll change my mind now I feel better but I still don’t think I want to make it some grand proclamation

Mattie: change how people see me, what they think they can say

Fi: all understandable, but I’ll be here kicking myself for a while anyway

Mattie: grr

Fi: no matchmaking, tonight or ever, I refuse to put my 👠 back in it

Mattie: but you have put them back on

Fi: [not you sending her free feet pics of them back off like no no]

Mattie: 🥳 will you be drunk enough to learn more ballet later

Fi: letting you drink alone is as unforgivable as making Doll be sober alone, I wouldn’t dream of either

Mattie: I am a little drunk, it must be said

Fi: I’ll catch up at [wherever they’re going] while you’re 🩰

Mattie: will I get in in what I’m wearing?

Fi: unlike bartenders, I’ve kept fave bouncers everywhere, you’ll Chaseé ? in

Mattie: 👏

Mattie: very good

Fi: you’re a good teacher

Fi: who knew?

Mattie: please pass the message on to all relevant bosses

Fi: sadly the deadline has passed for my Christmas round-robin but I’ll see what I can do if I see any of them in the new year

Mattie: I can only imagine the details you would have included

Fi: I’ll put you on the list again now I know you want to hear from me

Mattie: as if I wouldn’t

Fi: I wasn’t certain, or I’d have reached out

Mattie: now you know 🔮

Fi: Dolly says Lulu’s been keeping you busy in my absence

Mattie: ah yes, that is true

Fi: your protectiveness makes even more sense given what happened to you

Mattie: I’m sure Lulu would think me an absolute fool for it

Fi: she thinks everyone a fool, it’s barely personal at this point

Fi: I’ve never seen someone look at their invited guest, who they chose to bring, and date, with such open disdain

Mattie: 🤭

Mattie: at least it means I don’t have to worry about her being under his spell or anything of the sort

Fi: the reversal, maybe, but I’m not worried for him, he’s visibly old enough to look after himself 🧔🏼

Mattie: he’s [however old he is in comparison, I forget]

Fi: of course, she loves to push a boundary as far as is still considered socially acceptable

Mattie: now now

Mattie: you know he was the only age appropriate boy around

Fi: age appropriate is debatable, just because he can grow a beard doesn’t equate to his emotional maturity being high enough to deal with your sister’s, let’s call it emotional instability

Mattie: let’s not call it anything

Fi: okay, sorry, not cool of me, she’s your sister

Mattie: I know she isn’t the easiest person to relate to

Fi: and we both know I’ve made multiple attempts, but there’s no excuse to be calling her out, she doesn’t have to like me, I’m not Head Girl these days

Mattie: as you said, it isn’t personal

Fi: as I said, I’m sorry 😶

Mattie: you’re fine, I promise

Fi: you don’t want to tell me off is all, you’re too good at it

Mattie: I’m sure you could think up better ways to earn it

Fi: true, if I thought hard, something would absolutely come to me

Mattie: think think think 🤔

Fi: 🍯🐝🎈

Mattie: I love him 🥰

Fi: he’s that sort of bear, how could you not

Mattie: You’re very tigger

Fi: eventually you’re gonna have to admit defeat on me not having adhd

Mattie: omg stop it! 😆

Mattie: it sounds like I make a commission on Adderall

Fi: you’ve shared one secret, go ahead, unburden yourself of your others

Mattie: how dare you accuse me of being a pill pusher

Mattie: I don’t even take aspirin unless the headache is very, very bad, I’ll have you know

Fi: you stop it, you’re adorable

Mattie: you’re bouncy, there should be a bouncy ball emoji, is there

Mattie: there are too many to look through these days 👩‍🦳

Fi: you’re tipsy, that’s why there’s too many to look through

Mattie: no, I’m old, maybe I need glasses, you can help me find a chic pair

Fi: you’re 22

Mattie: and you’re 19

Fi: you look the same age as me

Mattie: how was your birthday?

Fi: I don’t know, different, good and bad

Mattie: did you get a cake?

Fi: [show her the pics because really not long ago so not hard to scroll to and find, clearly not a patch on anything this gal has ever baked for you though]

Fi: I missed it not being from you 👩‍🍳

Mattie: I made so many mince pies before hols 😮‍💨

Mattie: I didn’t do stars on top though

Fi: I see what you’re doing, making me cry because you’re not my form tutor, it’s unacceptable nevertheless

Mattie: no don’t cry it’s because I’d cry if I did

Fi: I know that, it’s why I have to

Mattie: your makeup will be ruined

Fi: but I’ll be in the right place to re-do it, when I can stop 😭

Mattie: are you alone?

Fi: hopefully, or whoever’s in here with me will assume I’m very drunk and a wreck

Mattie: that can be me, if you want

Fi: I always want you around

Mattie: it would’ve been rude to not check, what with the 😭

Fi: you’ve seen it before, my last day I was an actual wreck, and in floods

Mattie: not because of me

Mattie: [the bad teacher] should be every bit ashamed as I think she is now

Fi: it isn’t really your fault

Mattie: [come in because how long does it really need to take you to get here, not long, bathroom doors are always loud so our ‘a little bit, maybe’ shouldn’t frighten you to death lol]

Fi: [‘I’m only crying a little bit’ as this girl wipes her eyes like oh hello to you, don’t mind me here actually crying because of all my feelings]

Mattie: [when she has wiped her eyes, come forward and grab her hand and give it a squeeze ‘it’s okay’ doing a little lol ‘what’s a party if no one cries, eh?’]

Fi: [doing your own little lol ‘it’s not my party’ like how ridiculous and hilarious that I’m the one crying ‘though, lord knows I would were I getting married off’ because no thank you, sounds like Noah shade again and it is lowkey but also just in general because 19]

Mattie: [‘I doubt we’ll catch the bride to be’ and pulling a face because that is clearly not who Jay is at all ‘so take your fill’ like it’s going free honey, pulling an equally GOD NO face and then loling some more because same on both counts tbh]

Fi: [catching a look at herself in the mirror and pulling her own face like ugh why me though because didn’t wanna be here doing this but we are, crying a lil bit more about the fact like great I’m this bitch now love that for me, but also loling at her GOD NO face]

Mattie: [giving her a hug because you want to but also so she doesn’t feel like you’re gawping at her whilst she cries ‘I cry all the time’ like tis true, not saying this like I’m a depressed bitch vibe we’re just an emotional sort of bean]

Fi: [‘I usually don’t but I-’ again stopping yourself saying whatever gay thing you were going to say, despite the fact this hug couldn’t be more gay how you’re returning it]

Mattie: [‘you’re stuck at a terrible party because you’re a good person?’ not us admitting how hard it sucks lol]

Fi: [shaking her head ‘I’ve honestly been to parties which ranked higher on the scale towards complete bust, you don’t need to feel like a bad sister’ because true, you definitely have, for many reasons, and also that isn’t why you’re crying and we all know it]

Mattie: [sighing like thanks but ‘I almost always do anyway’ the work you put in for the lack of pay-off, soz girly]

Fi: [‘oh Mattie’ hugging her tighter because what can you say, we all know it isn’t her fault but you don’t wanna shade her sisters again like you did earlier ‘you’re an amazing sister’ because you’ve seen it with your own eyes how hard she tries always]

Mattie: [just hug it out gals like this isn’t risky business or anything ‘you smell nice’ and sniffing the top of her head and then her neck to see if it’s more shampoo or perfume]

Fi: [gonna say it’s perfume because what else are you bringing in that big red bag, plus then you can get it out and spray it on her, how intimate and how gay, plus sniff her back because perfume smells different on different people, so you can also comment on that somehow, like oh it smells more like such and such on you vibes]

Mattie: [just doing the little twirl you do through a perfume cloud and then hugging said scent to yourself so you can fully breathe it in casually before turning back to her like now, come here, gently cleaning up any makeup that had been smudged]

Fi: [when you’d be so used to other girls doing your makeup because boarding school but it’s her so you’re just here DYING inside casually, opening your mouth to say something, but either you don’t know what to say or you’re scared of ruining this moment, so you just breathe, lowkey a sigh]

Mattie: [meanwhile we’re here not daring to breathe because so into being this intimate with you we’re afraid what we might do if we make any sort of sudden move, yet we’re still touching your lips like your lipstick needs patting into place when I doubt it’s gone that awry]

Fi: [feeling for said lipstick and handing it to her without looking down because likewise barely dare or want to move but do want to linger in this moment by letting her reapply it for us unnecessarily]

Mattie: [putting it on our lips first, without looking away from her to look in the mirror, slowly circling the entirety of both lips, slowly, pouting them out for the full effect, before gently tilting her head up towards the light to apply hers ‘so pretty’ just under our breath, casually as if it remotely is]

Fi: [thank god there is nobody in here because she’s STARING at this scene like Mattie is doing something pornographic, could not be more into it, catch this girl with her lips parted way before she even needs to do it for her own lipstick application purposes, it’s just the affect this is having on her nbd, likewise catch her blushing when she has no choice but to hear that because proximity]

Mattie: [when her reaction has you wanting to push this desperately, to do more and show her more, gently using your bodyweight to push her up onto the counter of this sink moment, as if you need her sat to do this properly ‘prettiest girl’ at the same volume but your voice is shamelessly hoarser, really doing the most you can with said lipstick to push her lips apart how you want to]

Fi: [it’s the sigh hitting completely different now for me, because DUH, not okay about any of this in the best way, literally having to bite her lip so it doesn’t turn into an even more blatant sound all together and also to give her more work to do, because again simply must prolong this]

Mattie: [without thinking, smearing this lipstick across her mouth with your fingers when she bites her lip ‘bad girl’ like she ruined it that hard but really you just wanted to and now you have even more work to do when you can concentrate]

Fi: [pressing her back so hard against the wall in a way that would have to be obvious but if she doesn’t she’ll move forward and do something even more BLATANT at what this gal just said because !! this feels like a fantasy you’ve had but you know it’s really happening because you’re not even tipsy yet, at least you can pretend you’re doing some etiquette style good girl posture to try and make this easier for her and your amends, including crossing her ankles like a lady sits, again not at all because you’re dying, nope]

Mattie: [putting the cap on this lipstick with a satisfying click because not in the mood to fix this or anything currently, folding our arms and taking a step back like we’re appraising you but obviously we’ve had similar fantasies and are taking this moment in for all its worth, taking hold of your knees and yanking your legs apart unceremoniously, which is FINE because you’re wearing trousers, standing closer to you again in the gap we’ve just created]

Fi: [getting her name out of our mouth like she did earlier before they were rudely interrupted by someone but x 100000 with how her voice obvs sounds about this, but having to close her eyes when this gal is in this close proximity to us again because CANNOT cope actually]

Mattie: [doing a little gasp at hearing your name said like that, by her, playing with the necklaces she has on, pulling them tighter and looser ‘round the back of her neck, whilst in her ear but closer than we ever were out in the party ‘tell me, Fi’]

Fi: [when you literally have goosebumps from her gasp before she’s even touched you, nbd, and are literally trying to disappear into this wall when she does so as not to make any dramatic moves ‘I can’t’ her voice catching before and as she says this, like excuse me I literally cannot, doing the most dramatic swallow as if that’ll fix how impossible speaking is]

Mattie: [tracing your finger across the goosebumps on display which is really just her neck and slightly down her chest ‘okay’ really quietly and after quite a while of doing this, creating goosebumps on goosebumps, I’m sure, before gently pulling her down via your hands around her waist and then letting her go, opening the lipstick again to rub away the mess you made and reapply, yet again]

Fi: [looking at her the most 🥺 anyone ever has while all this is occurring, lowkey trembling with the !! of not reacting any other way, until she accidentally licks her lips during this lipstick reapplication, soz and the ‘fuck’ escapes like oh no, in such a !! manner ‘excuse my language, miss’ in trying to be a bants way but this moment is too charged for that to land anything other than flirty af]

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k00282949 · 2 years

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Artist Research

21/10/22

While in the photography studio on Thursday 20th, Paul Tarpey recommended some artists that would be interesting to research regarding my theme of make up. They aren't your typical artists, however, they link in with my concept of makeup/altering your appearance, but they don't necessarily follow the terms of temporary. These artists are all extreme in their own way and I find them all equally interesting. ORLAN and Genesis P-Orridge are the most similar, but they all show an extreme dedication to their projects, and use non-traditional art forms, such as their own bodies.

ORLAN

ORLAN is a French contemporary artist, known for her body modifications in the name of art. Here, with ORLAN, I'm looking at the permanent side of makeup, where people take their everyday temporary image and go that step further to make it last. She uses the operating theatre as a stage, and puts on a performance with costumes and props during her cosmetic surgeries, with just local anaesthetic to numb the pain. ORLAN quoted in an article on Artnet, “I have been the first artist to use aesthetic surgery in another context—not to appear younger or better according to the designated pattern. I wanted to disrupt the standards of beauty.”

Amalia Ulman with Excellences & Perfections

Amalia Ulman presented us with 'Excellences & Perfections' as an unfolding narrative of an online influencer type on her Instagram account. She took on the personas of three women through fantasy and illusion. The personas posted photos of flowers, food, their reflections in mirrors, created sets that looked like hotel bedrooms, and spoke blandly of love and self empowerment. She sort of created these characters based on stereotypes, just like Cindy Sherman. She was dedicated to this art piece of hers, getting a breast augmentation and dying her hair from its natural brown to blond. Although she doesn't use makeup in anyway in E&P, she is similar to ORLAN, with her dedication and seriousness when it comes to her work. I found her interesting, as it creates an idea of what beauty influencers on social media were like in the 2010s, and what standards they instilled in the viewers mind. The work existed on its viewers’ phones, of course it did, but it also existed in their minds — Ulman as a sprite, hanging out in their consciousness even when they weren’t looking at the work itself.

Genesis P-Orridge

Genesis P-Orridge was many things; a poet, a writer, a performance artist and a singer songwriter. When they fell in love with his wife, Jacqueline, also known as Lady Jaye, P-Orridge put it best "as we became more and more obsessively in love, we had that whole feeling of ‘I wish I could eat you up. I wish I could just take you, and I become you and you become me,’ ” and that's exactly what they did. They became an almost carbon copy of their wife, who was a blonde Twiggy-esque woman. They called the project “Pandrogeny” and even got matching breast implants on Valentine's Day one year and P-Orridge refers to themselves as 'we', as if them and their wife were one. I find P-Orridge very strange, but at the same time I love it. It was an art project but with tones of love underneath, which somehow makes it more interesting. Again, very similar to ORLAN, its the permanent side of makeup/beauty, but I think with this, and because he mimicked their wife out of love, it seems so sweet and kind. It's almost a positive of the permanent side of beauty. “I know it sounds weird,” he says gently. “We could have bought a house or something like that. But we’re artists. Artists do art. It’s not rational.”

#ORLAN #AMALIA ULMAN #GENESIS P-ORRIDGE

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xjoonchildx · 2 years

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Hey Ana! Um, this is going to be a long ask, and it may be kind of stupid and if you choose to ignore it that's totally fine too - it's just that I'm feeling very lost and I can't talk to any of my irls about this, and since your blog is a comfort place to me and you give me very comforting big sister vibes, i thought I'd come here for advice.

So I started my master's degree about three months ago, and i immediately made a big group of close-knit friends, including this one dude that I developed a massive crush on. Crushboy and I have since become very close friends, we sit together in class almost all the time, I save him a seat on the bus, we remind each other to have meals on time, we've worked in multiple group projects together, we've fussed and scolded each other when we both fell sick one after the other, you get the idea.

None of this helped my crush on him, and I still like him a lot. All of my other friends (they haven't met him) who I've told about him think I'm being an idiot and i should ask him out.

Here's the problem: he's hot, and he knows it. He's worked hard on his body, and understandably, he's been very vocal about wanting to be with a girl who's as into fitness as he is. I am... literally the opposite lol. I've been a fat girl my whole life, tried multiple times to get fit but it's never quite worked out. The only thing in common his fantasy girl and I have is curly hair. I had just about made peace with the fact that I'll never be the model type, and just about started feeling comfortable in my body, but because of this my anxiety about my figure has jumped back up again.

I'm never going to tell him I like him because I know that'll break our friendship, so that's out of the question. I guess what I'm asking advice about is whether or not I should continue being as close to him. I value our friendship too much, but I know it'll hurt watching him dating around, and I'm scared of seeing him fall in love with someone else.

At the same time I'm anxious that I'm irritating and annoying him by trying to be so close to him, and that one day he'll just yell at me and break our friendship anyway. He's already pointed out the fact that I constantly touch and pick on his hands, so I've stopped doing that (I'm very conscious about physical touch, and I'm only touchy with people i feel comfortable with, so this was a huge deal for me).

Idk, I'm just exhausted :/ - crushed anon

crushed anon!

as an only child, please allow me to luxuriate in your compliment about big sister vibes 💕💕💕

okay, so first -- i want to congratulate you on the work you've done in your master's program. that's a major accomplishment and i hope you're patting yourself on the back as much as i am.

it sounds like you have a really great interaction/relationship with crushboy. leaving the romantic aspect out of it, it's great to have a supportive friend who you can lean on through what i'm sure is a stressful time.

i don't know enough about your situation to be able to know if there is more than friendship between you and crushboy, but it certainly makes sense that you would feel that way about him given what you've told me here.

the number one thing i want you to accept -- no matter what happens with crushboy in the future -- is that being plus-sized or curvy or whatever term you want to use absolutely does not stop you from being attractive. i see attractive people of all shapes and sizes on IG getting love from people all over the world. they carry themselves with confidence and rock the bodies they have and you know what? other people see it and love it.

this idea of a fantasy girl/guy is just that -- a fantasy. it doesn't necessarily translate into real life wishes and wants. i come on here and regularly simp for a man who's 5'10, 110 pounds soaking wet but my IRL guy is 6'4, 225 pounds and i assure you i am very attracted to him 🤣 don't be discouraged by this idea of a dream woman or man, because what we love/appreciate in celebrity culture isn't necessarily what we want in our own personal lives.

i think it's very likely crushboy is attracted to you. there are probably a lot of things about you he appreciates, beyond your friendship. and while i can't know if he's attracted to you in a romantic way, i want you to accept that he absolutely could be -- despite his fitness level and yours.

there are so many pieces that make up the whole and they all play a part in how we feel about the people in our lives.

i'm glad that you said that you're becoming comfortable with your body and i think your confidence (and obvious smarts!) are only going to grow.

we (speaking to myself here, too) are often our own worst critics and i promise you, the version of us other people see is probably much kinder than the one we see in ourselves 💕💕💕

#anagrams 💕

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worldcakecakecake · 2 years

Text

The Society of Romulus and Remus

Ludwig is the product of a centuries old curse that transforms him into a dangerous werewolf. His only chance for a cure is with Feliciano, heir to the Society of Romulus and Remus, a group of hunters who hunt on the supernatural.

Hey look...a chapter for this story after...I don’t want to think about it...Anyways! Hope you enjoy! I could write more but I feel extremely sick right now.

Chapter 14

The morning that came was a gorgeous one, this new day’s rays missing themselves between the trees, creating such a lovely light with greens that it didn’t bother the two figures still joyous in their sleep. Adoring smiles on both their faces, comfortable and serene even if lost in these woods, rocks and branches under them. Well…Feliciano could still depend on a surface, one of skin, strong, that he could keep his hold to and drift in this wonderful dream. Ludwig was in the same state, breathing softly and enjoying this relaxation, from the softness he kept on his hold, the form of his hair, his breaths moving along with his as their bodies kept together. When Ludwig began to awake, he thought it all still a delightful dream, where he smiled, where he leaned more with Feliciano, his hand daring for that spread of his soft curls. It was just the touch to bring Feliciano alight, spreading and chuckling, reaching more into it…into his hold. When Feliciano opened his eyes, bronze and beautiful in this breeze that came, staring with a gaze that was so real that Ludwig realized…wait, this was no dream. He suddenly sat, startling Feliciano to join him as well. Ludwig began breathing heavily, patting himself to realize he was naked, his clothes long ripped in whatever part of the forest he ran through. Yes, he ran, he remembered running and chasing trying to find…and Feliciano was there, looking up to him, a soothing whistle with arms trying to ground him, to gaze only at him and slowly come to terms with what just happened.

“Ludwig…Ludwig…do you know where you are and why you’re here?”

It took him a while to regain, to gather, each memory widening more his eyes, pain with the realization that…Feliciano saw everything…Feliciano knew.

“The test…you…you trespassed the territory…everyone went frantic…I turned frantic…your grandfather wouldn’t let me go to look for you…but I still did because I wanted to…protect you…I wanted…to make sure you were safe,” he let himself admit, beginning to ease at the simple knowledge that Feliciano was here… all right, perfectly well even.

“And…to do that…you turned?”

Ludwig’s breath hitched once again, fear as if the monster was before him. “You…you…you saw? No…you couldn’t have…you shouldn’t have…you weren’t supposed to know!” He began to shake and move away.

“Ludwig, Ludwig! No, no, it’s all right, it’s completely all right…in fact, you…saved me last night.”

He slowly fell at ease, even if there was shaking and his breath was still comin out hard. “What…what do you mean I saved you?”

“You did! I was…chased by a whole gang of werewolves. One was about ready to take me, but then you came as…as…”

“A monster?”

“A werewolf and you…attacked them and had them running off…it was…it was incredible!”

Ludwig never expected to hear such compliments for his other form…especially from Feliciano. But he couldn’t accept it, he was still trembling, slowly letting the memories ease so he could understand Feliciano’s story better. “I…I didn’t do anything to you…did I?” He recalled being vicious, angry and the predator he was truly meant to be.

Feliciano shook his head…smiling even, “Ludwig, I already told you…you saved me…well you were about to-”

“What?! Feliciano, please, let me know if I did something so I can try to show my apologies or receive the proper punishment!”

“Ludwig! Listen to me!” He raised his hand, the wolf mark free and present. “My mark started glowing, you saw it and you…changed suddenly. You turned gentle, kind, your eyes changed and I just…knew it was you…” he blushed and Ludwig was still trembling to show his own.

Once he shook himself enough from the glow of those last words, he addressed a concern, “…I really…didn’t do anything to you?”

“You started cuddling me and you even let me pet you and hug you.”

Now he really turned red, turning away, his next words stuttering. “Feliciano…” he sighed, not believing he was actually talking to him about this, “…when I turn…I don’t usually act like that.”

Feliciano shone in surprise, unbelieving. “But you were the sweetest! Really cute even!” Feliciano was bold to say, glowing and excited as if he was talking about a mere puppy. Ludwig wanted to bury himself underground so Feliciano wouldn’t witness such redness on his very pale skin…naked even, clearer to see.

“No one would ever say something like that about my transformation…no one has ever done…what you just did…” Ludwig realized, impression deep, Feliciano not understanding, thinking all his doing a simplicity or something of nature that was to be expected.

Truly Feliciano was the destined one to end this curse if he could already accomplish a mere taming with only a glow of his hand and his care, and none of the spells told in the enchantment. He didn’t notice it had been silent and calm until Feliciano spoke, “Ludwig…how…how did this happen to you? What…what are you and why are you here…here in the society?” It was an awakening back to their surroundings, their place, the actions done and the memories of only a day before. Ludwig grimaced and hated how exposed he was….figuratively and physically, wishing he could hide it all the same way he raised his legs and wrapped his arms around himself.

“Feliciano, it’s a long story and I don’t think this is the right place for it.”

“I’m willing to listen for as long as needed, Ludwig.” He neared, already understanding well expressed in all his being. “And…where is the right place?”

Ludwig sighed and looked on to a route that he knew was the pathway back…away from the escape Ludwig now knew Feliciano tried to do. “Back in the society.”

With the way Feliciano fell, Ludwig knew it was still a place he wanted to avoid, looking the other direction, forward still to an offered freedom.

“I…know you don’t want to be there, that it’s difficult and what awaits you there might make the experience more horrible…” definitely not the hanging that could have Feliciano coming back with him…but he did have to warn him, did have to prepare him for the atmosphere that awaited. “But right now…there’s something I need from you, and you have to help me fulfill it. Once you do…I promise you that I will help you leave the society.”

Feliciano brightened as if a simpler exit was made, joyous in a way Ludwig did not expect that moment.

“But before anything…we have to go back.”

There were still obstacles on the way, jumps and falls Feliciano still had to go through to pass, but it seemed that Ludwig was offering a help that could make it easier, could make that path that continued on much brighter and safer. With a sigh, a lean that showed enough acceptance, Feliciano stood, offering a hand for Ludwig to take so they could come into standing. Feliciano offered his jacket and other clothes he had packed to have Ludwig dressed with some sense of dignity…even with how tight fitting it was. Together, they made their choice, their promise, by going back.

“-ninety men, Feliciano! Ninety men went out there to look for you!” It had been these heavy shouts since Feliciano was ushered into his grandfather’s office. “Do you understand how worried I was? How worried everyone in this society was? Not only did you put yourself in danger, but every single one of these ninety men!”

Ludwig, who also stood in the room, now dressed well in his own uniform, shivered himself for Feliciano, feeling the burn of the words even from his distance.

“You are indeed severely lucky that Ludwig, despite my orders,” he spared a glare, “went, found you and even saved you from a hoard of hungry werewolves!” That last part he shouted in such anger that even the guards outside the doors were gritting their teeth. “Once again, Ludwig, I thank you deeply for saving my grandson.”

“I…uh…uh…was fulfilling my service,” he bowed, too induced from the fear Augusto reigned on the room.

“Don’t you dare think I could so easily forget that you still disobeyed me.” He was not easing his expression, one Ludwig crumbled more into…and Feliciano despised it.

“Nonno, he saved me. He shouldn’t be given any kind of-”

“You are not one to tell me how I should act when it comes to the discipline of the rules I had placed in this society.” The deepest of his harshness was reserved to his grandson, fierce and puncturing as he returned his gaze to him. “You will both answer to them as necessary and punishment will come as you deserve.” The silence he left was a test, to watch if they remained in its field. No other rustle was given and so Augusto sighed, in it finding permission to continue. “Ludwig, I apologize, but I must remove you from the missions in Polynesia. You are also evicted from using the weapons and charms of the third level armory for the next month.” Ludwig bowed in acceptance…not as discontented as he thought he would be.

“And as for you,” and he turned to his grandson, a gaze that could put whole armies to shame. Feliciano trembled, legs quivering and Ludwig feared he would fall to the ground in some sort of beg for mercy. “You remain at your beginner level. And instead of waiting six months for the next test, you will wait an entire year! That means you fall behind, you have less advantages and you don’t go on like the rest to access new magic, weapons or even field training!” Feliciano flinched at each word as if it was lighting bursting into the room. “It all means you remain longer under my responsibility and command in this society, something I know you’re trying hard to run away from…as you did yesterday. It’s the only way I can try to show you the seriousness you have to take this…whether you like it or not, you have to be part of the family upholding. I have told you many times it is marked on your body and it runs in your blood. I cannot let you decide for yourself until you have learned all and gone through every level. Then you can make your place afterwards. ” Feliciano nodded, trying hard to hold back tears.

Augusto finally took a seat, his anger dissipating enough to show his calm and composure, his tone friendly as he addressed Ludwig, even with the exhaustion in his eyes. “Ludwig, would you be willing to continue teaching Feliciano?”

“I made a promise, sir. I will get Feliciano through every level if necessary.” There was never a doubt on that. Feliciano had to bite down a surviving smile.

“Very well…but I have to take precautions. From now on and until I find it appropriate, your lessons will be monitored by a third person in the room.” They grimaced, but nodded, as part of the lashes from this punishment.

Augusto sighed, “you are dismissed.”

They hurried out in a fray, like scared animals, the office plundered in a sudden silence that Augusto was suspicious of. There was something in the air that changed, something he was curious to find out…but he let it be, not feeling it…threatening. He went back to working, relaxing and calming over the last day of panic over his grandson. He was safe now, and that’s what mattered.

Ludwig and Feliciano ran the halls as if they were being chased, far, distant, in some hidden corner away from everything. Somehow, Feliciano ended up leading them to the balcony with the statues. Kiku and Mathew momentarily sight to see Feliciano back, safe and well, but didn’t dare continue with greetings and questions as they noticed he came with his teacher. They stayed in their statue form, yet with ears alive and eyes curious as to their reasoning here.

“I’m so…I’m so sorry that they had to take those things from you,” Feliciano instantly apologized after he calmed his breath from the run and constraint of his grandfather’s office.

“Feliciano, it’s really all right, I can manage with that. It’s just some weapons and not going to Polynesia. I’m actually more concerned about your own punishment.”

And Feliciano drained, a grayness to him that was not meant, was not supposed to be dragging him so. It had Ludwig strengthening in his stand as if to guard him.

“I’m just…I just…I feel like I disappointed you. You really wanted me to pass this test…you had so much hope and you truly believed in me, but I…I’m really sorry, Ludwig, I just…I just really wanted to get out and at the first opportunity I had, I took it and I just…without thinking of what it would mean to you. I was selfish.” He continued to tremble and tears gathered in his eyes. And Ludwig…for the longest moment didn’t know how to answer, instead feeling blame himself for causing Feliciano to worry.

He sighed, “it was selfish of me to bring you back.” Feliciano was surprised by this answer, stopping all motion and even the flow of his tears. “I know you don’t want to belong here, I know this is not the path you want to take, and believe me…if things were different, I would have helped you…I would have even let you escape.”

Memories arose of Ludwig’s transformation, the glow of the mark that ceased all, the night they shared cuddled in the depths of the forest.

“If things were different?” Feliciano was starting to address. “What do you mean by that?"

Ludwig turned with such wide eyes to him that Feliciano could see clearly the beast within…and yet this time…he wasn’t afraid. He looked straight at it, as if challenging to attack, to do its worst…it wouldn’t win.

“Feliciano…we both know what you saw…you know what I can turn into now…” Ludwig began, still so shy, so careful, while Feliciano stood the straightest, ready for the entire tale. He sighed, knowing that standing like this, still heaving and trying to catch their breath was not the best way to speak. With a wise lead, Feliciano took Ludwig’s hand, igniting yet again a fire that Ludwig was always startled from whenever Feliciano instigated it. He took them to a place they could sit, by the steps, the weather nice and cool, the air fresh, the view of the mountains, forests and valleys. Their breaths had settled, they were as tamed as the wind that blew, Ludwig began.

“A…long time ago…back when…Germany wasn’t even Germany yet, one of my great grandfathers was of nobility. He was rude…and mean and devious. He took what he wanted when he wanted, no thanks or apologies. On a trip to Italy, his carriage had run over a young girl’s wolf dog…killing it. The girl had demanded some sort of apology or payment. But my grandfather did not care…he went on like nothing.” A rustling, the wind intense, a sudden interruption by nature, welcomed.

Ludwig went on, “Feliciano, that little girl was a Valenti.”

And Feliciano’s eyes widened, finding the first connection, fearing the continuation of this story, but he still demanded to know. He wanted this answer.

“In her anger and power, she cursed my grandfather with this transformation. Not only he…but she cursed his entire lineage to suffer the same fate. Unlike other…werewolves…” he was finding it hard admitting that word to Feliciano, but he didn’t budge, he remained just as attentive. “-we don’t change because of nature…I have just as high chances of transforming during daylight…we change due to our emotions…or just when the curse decides to act. As any other…we lose sense, consciousness…it’s very hard to take control of that side…we turn vicious, hungry and won’t do anything else but attack and kill…” A large fault lay heavy on him, graying more the bag under his eyes and defining more his stress lines.

“Does…the same thing happen to Gilbert?”

Ludwig nodded. “Everyone in my family goes through the same thing.”

“How can you live like this? How is it possible? Have you tried to find any help? Is there…is there any way to fix this?” His mother had mentioned once that it was possible depending on the case, and Feliciano held on to it right now, desperately wanting a chance for Ludwig.

“…there actually is…”

Feliciano came closer, more than ever demanding to hear this.

“When…the girl had put the curse on my grandfather…she said… Only the 13th of her line can do it… with the Venetian mark, the Bronze stare, the Eros curl, the blood of the land of beauty, and the giving of the truest love…”

Feliciano recognized all those spells…then remembered how intense Ludwig had been with him learning them. The anger, the fretting and insistence…as if he was running on a time frame. Feliciano rose, coming to a quick idea, “it’s talking about me.” He knew he didn’t need that nod Ludwig gave, but it gave more of an assurance, more of a calling for him to fulfill. “I can…I can free you of this curse?” He was having a hard time believing that he could…just a Valenti who was trying hard to avoid the calling of a hunter…he was not even the best one…he tried to run away from it, tried to disappear it completely from his life and now…he had this responsibility of freeing an entire family from a generational werewolf curse.

“Yes…you’re the only one who can,” Ludwig assured, scared, expecting Feliciano to deny it all as part of his refusal to be a hunter. He didn’t expect this extensive silence, Feliciano giving these deep thoughts as if he was suddenly given a big mission he had to fulfill no matter what. It…was, yet…the chance for a refusal could still be present.

“How much time do I have?” He suddenly asked.

Ludwig arose and woke as if from a long nap, “I really don’t know…the curse only mentions that you’re the only one that can do it. If something happens to you then it means it can never be broken. I had planned for you to learn all the spells by the end of the year, but with you having failed the examination, it might take us a little longer.”

“How does the result of my examination influence how I should continue to work on breaking this curse?”

“It limits access to the rest of the spells. You’re only supposed to do them if you’re at certain levels in the society.”

The look Feliciano got now was comical, doubting it all as if it was a command by his grandfather he could just move aside…even after the harsh scolding he just received. “Who says we have to abide by the rules of the society?”

Ludwig was astounded…this was something he did not expect Feliciano to consider at all. “What do you-”

“You know the spells don’t you? And you still have access to them even if I don’t?” Ludwig nodded. “Can’t you just show them to me? Sneak them into our lesson! In fact, we don’t have to do our normal teachings anymore! Just teach me the spells and everything you need to get the curse broken! If we do everything right, we can still manage to get you free by the end of the year!” Feliciano smiled and excited loudly.

It was…indeed easier and much direct to what he wanted. “Feliciano, your grandfather will still expect reports, proof of what you have done, not to mention that we will have a third person in the room from now on.”

“You still keep all my past works with you right?”

“Yes, but wouldn’t-”

“We’ll just change them a bit so it looks like we recently worked on them again. We can act like we're working on them when the third person is there. And when we can, we can come here!” Feliciano presented the balcony yard. “Not many know of this place, I don’t think even my grandfather. It will be the perfect hiding spot to practice what we need.” He thought it all simply presented, yet Ludwig continued to sit skeptical.

“And…that’s it…we’ll work together to get my curse broken?” He had never thought he could get Feliciano to cooperate with this simply.

“Yes!” Feliciano shouted, but he quickly deflated when he realized there was…something he could get from this. A payment…an escape. “But only if…uh…” he hesitated, thinking it too much to ask.

“Tell me, what is it?” Ludwig on the other hand insisted.

“You help me leave the Society after I free you of the curse.” He was shy to admit that, but Ludwig didn’t mind it at all, he actually found it reasonable, not being so surprised that this would be Feliciano’s request.

He offered his hand to Feliciano, not at all hesitating or doubting. “I can do that.”

Feliciano gazed with intense questions at the hand, as if the action was a rare feat, something he didn’t know how to properly respond to.

“If you free me from the curse by the end of the year, I will definitely make sure you are out of the society, and not just that, I will make sure you are comfortable wherever you decide to make your home afterwards. I promise you that.” An intensity in his serious expression that startled Feliciano.

Once again, here shone a definite exit, one to be achieved, worked on…but it was there. He could finally escape, he could be free, and all he had to do was break this curse.

He smiled, he shook that hand confidently, knowing more than anything that he would make it possible.

“Infaorbital” Feliciano shouted.

“Very good,” Ludwig moved the pointer he held to the next point of this anatomical presentation.

“Jugular Notch!”

“Sehr gut!”

“Brachial Plexus. Ulnar Nerve. Femoral Nerve.”

“And that is it!” To showcase that, Ludwig put the pointer down.

Lovino clapped his hands, slow and with a dull expression, not at all impressed. “You’re finally done and I can now be relieved of this.” He instantly stood, remembering to take the notes with him, as proof to his grandfather of what was given in this lesson. “I have to admit, you did a better job at this than the last time, Feliciano,” Lovino pointed at least, earning a proud smile from his younger brother. “According to the planning, tomorrow is once again a history of the society lesson, which most likely means Gilbert will be the one to come and support it.” Not the first time, both teacher and student shrugged and wouldn't mind…they knew how to work this. “Okay, we're done here, vai via adesso! Do whatever you want!” Lovino was ready to turn, wanting a cup of coffee.

“Oh, Lovi! We have some time to check that new cafe that opened! We can go together!” Feliciano excited, already grabbing him by the arm meaning to take him instantly.

“I want to go to Francis’s like always!” Lovino fought.

“But come on! It’s something new and exciting!”

“It’s only coffee!” And yet he let himself be led away, barely noticing the last wink Feliciano sent to Ludwig before he was left alone in the room.

That very night, when they knew no suspicious would arise as they would both make their exits and sneak down the halls, they met at the terrace. Feliciano would smile with excitement, and slowly Ludwig was welcoming him more and more with a smile that Feliciano was starting to find adoring. And here, they would have separate time to learn what they really needed, practice and master.

“Now, the Eros Curl spell is…quite particular.” Here Ludwig took out a scroll, ancient, surely from the times of Rome with the latin scriptures and designs. “It only works if the holder has curly hair.” Feliciano made them bounce that instant in a way that Ludwig had to hide from chuckling at. “If you get it to work, it will result in glowing hair and then you will be able to read the thoughts and feelings of any living being in your vicinity.”

“And that’s really it?” Feliciano thought it simple.

“Yes, that would be its only purpose, the problem is, that much like the bronze starre, it requires a lot of focus, plus instead of focusing that energy on a center, you have to try and focus it all on your head and then keep it there for as long as you want the spell to last. Any mistake can lead to an awful headache…or a loss of consciousness.” Ludwig quickly noticed the panic in Feliciano’s eyes. “You’re skilled, Feliciano. I doubt that will happen. But we do have to practice and engage in rather harsh routines so we're sure.”

Ludwig liked this determination Feliciano showed, combative and ready. He much preferred him now in these secret lessons than before.

And for days on they would meet exactly like so, in the dark of night or late in the evening, silent, hiding as they made their way. Other than progress as Feliciano tried to improve in the current spell he was working on or practicing well the old ones, there was also progress on their relationship and the way they addressed one another.

“How often do you usually turn?” Feliciano asked him one night.

Ludwig was busy gathering everything into a bag, for some reason Feliciano had stayed, humming some song, laying down against a statue as comfortable as if he was in his own room.

“Why are you asking?” Ludwig stopped completely what he was doing.

Feliciano shrugged, not really looking at him, focused on the stem of an old leaf he grabbed from the ground, “just curious.”

“Why would it be something you'd be curious about?”

“To be honest, even since I found out, all I’ve been thinking about is how it works, what it’s like and how it affects you…and if there’s more I can do than just trying to break the curse.”

Ludwig humed in appreciation, deciding on taking a seat beside him, thinking it a good idea to just sit in the same tranquility his student was in. “I turn perhaps-” he let himself wonder an estimation, “twice a week.”

“Twice a week?” He let the leaf fall, turning his complete attention to Ludwig now. “That’s more often than I thought. Where do you usually go when it happens?”

Ludwig sighed, “either I take a run in the forest or I lock myself up in a special enchanted room that tries to stop the transformation.”

“You really have a room like that?” Feliciano had gotten too close, a little too much for Ludwig to know what to do with.

“Yes, it’s a special space infused with charms that try to contain it. A lot of the time it works, but if I use it too often, I could get used to the charm to the point I can grow an immunity to it.”

“And…there’s really nothing else you can use?”

“I don’t really have a lot of options.”

Feliciano slumped and sighed as if it was his own problem. “But…have you tried to find other options?”

Ludwig smiled, as a way to hide how much he wanted to laugh. “I’ve spent my lifetime doing exactly that, Feliciano.”

He sighed, “I guess it has to be hard when you don’t have all the resources so easily available.”

Ludwig perked up at that, slightly insulted. “Do you understand when I say…I’ve spent a lifetime?”

Feliciano looked lost.

“Come, I must show you.”

Feliciano didn’t question and simply followed his lead. Kiku and Mathew made their chuckles evident to him as he made his exit.

“This is what an effort of a lifetime looks like.”

There were a lot of things Feliciano was not expecting today. He was not expecting to be permitted entrance into his teacher’s room, as organized and precise as he imagined it to be. He was not expecting to be led to a back, a small hallway that he had to squish himself into, all until they reached a secluded door, quite rich and beautiful Feliciano had to admit. Ludwig picked up a key from his pocket and opened and now Feliciano could truly witness a lifetime.

How Ludwig could sneak his own private library in this society was some sort of feat that he believed he deserved a medal for. It was large, the walls being the stone of the cave, Feliciano recognizing the lights being that of charms, lighting the room in just the perfect beauty that made Feliciano truly admire how well Ludwig had organized everything. All the shelves were stuffed with books, some piled elegantly on the ground, some on tables or other fine objects Ludwig placed. It was truly a spectacle of a room that made him think that it was one of the many his grandfather had commissioned from the finest architect in the country. He was struck in his place, taking in every detail, every artistic stroke in this build.

“You…did all of this?”

Ludwig looked through books unimpressed. He had been in this room often enough to not really find the grandeur in it. “Yeah. I was running out of space as I gained more. My collection is not one that I would be very fond of sharing with the rest of the Society. Some of these books are in favor of protecting werewolves…which will definitely get me kicked out. So I decided to just make my own…secret one.” He looked around…for once proud.

“How long did it take you to do this?” Feliciano was truly wondered as he dared to come in closer, suddenly seeing a table filled with beautifully designed maps that took his interest to come and look through.

“It was slow. I started the moment I got this room and realized that there wasn't enough space here. So…five years maybe.”

“This…this is incredible!” Ludwig didn’t expect Feliciano to like it so much, to see this shine in his eyes, for his touches to partake in the exploration and he really didn’t mind how he traced, touched, took out and in with knowledge as if it belonged to him as well.

“Thank you,” Ludwig managed to say after the schock passed.

“And you said you have books that are in favor of werewolves, right?” He tried to look between the shelves for anything on this specifically.

“Um…why would you be interested in something like that? You’re in part training to hunt them down without any excuse or mercy.”

“Ludwig…you know more than anyone that I have no interest in that.”

“Of course…yet, to in turn…help them? Why would you want to?”

“Because I want to help you and…well…I never really…wanted to hurt them…” he caressed the wolf in his mark soothingly, like a loving pet.

“Never wanted to hurt them? Feliciano, you’ve seen these things yourself. They’re dangerous, uncontrollable, they have to be killed on the spot. They were even the beginning threat that started this whole society.”

“So you think that’s the approach I should have done with you when I first found you.” Feliciano was angry, insulted that Ludwig would dare think he would kill so easily without thinking like that. “I understand some are dangerous…that some can’t even be saved, but I would prefer not to mindlessly kill…especially when I know there’s a way to save them…like you.”

And Ludwig was perplexed…never…in his years here, did he ever think he would hear such words…especially from a Valenti.

Feliciano gazed back into his hand, “I tamed you…you saved me…I…want to know if I can continue to do that…if I could do it to save others like your family.”

Ludwig was too stunned to respond, blown by this amount of kindness, of understanding…all that he had never seen addressed to what he was before.

Ludwig sighed, “well, here you’ll find everything that might help you with that.” It was like an official welcome.

“Really?”

“Yes. If you want, from now on, we can meet here instead, leaving the balcony for when we really need to practice the magical or physical things.”

“So…can I just…come in whenever I want.”

“...sure.”

Feliciano squealed in glee, already taking a chair and making himself comfortable.

Ludwig didn’t mind this at all.

< previous chapter next chapter >

#The Society of Romulus and Remus #gerita #gerita fanfiction #gerita fanfic #gerita fic

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jaimejamieb · 2 years

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Here’s my Jamie story! Add yours!

I first saw him as Gellert Grindelwald in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and if the books hadn’t convinced me that something was going on between young Albus and Gellert, that photo of him definitely did. Then I YouTubed him and found out about Sweeney Todd, saw it and fell in love with him. Then he was also in Twilight as a Volturi! They are, in my opinion one of the if not the most, fascinating part of the whole series and deserved their own spin off instead of Bree Tanner????

Anyway, back to JCB. He kind of fell of my radar because I was more into other people and things atm. I discovered his Bedales Rock Show video some time later and again fell in love with his amazing voice. I was not a Mortal Instruments fan but I watched those interviews! And boy those interviews were really exposing weren’t they? People in 2010s did not give af. They just made me fall in love with Jamie even more!

I think it was the Counterfeit era though that cemented my love, lust, admiration for this man! I have struggled with addiction, depression and I am very glad to be alive today and his lyrics were extremely healing and got some of my rage out. He also looks so beautiful and powerful and passionate and amazing in all of his shows! I wish I could have attended one!

I keep rediscovering this man over and over again. And we are back to it in 2022 - thank you ST and his becoming more active on everywhere and giving more interviews!

Its so funny that Jamie fits exactly into my type or maybe my type is because Jamie was my first big celebrity crush? Idk. But tall lean slightly muscular guy with floppy hair? Yes. A creative, sensitive, expressive and passionate person? Doesn’t adhere to gender norms and is probably bisexual and just soft and not traditionally masculine? Yes!! Cares about world issues and social Justice issues and is intersectionally inclusive? PLEASEEE. Is spiritual and thoughtful, genuinely funny and into supernatural spooky dark shit? Double yes!! As a bonus and as we know thanks to whoever stalked his follows and found the bdsm account, he is also a freak in the bedroom but also super polite and consensual and most probably a switch! Also yes the hand kink is very much real irl too.

I wish I was joking when I said this but I have had two long term serious relationships with exactly these type of guys and have liked other people who have most of these traits and when I say people.

Coming to the end of this VERY long post, I am just so glad Jamie is back on our screens and is putting out spectacular new music and is so vocal about his thoughts and processes! This man!

#jamie campbell bower #sweeney todd #gellert grindelwald #dumbledore x grindelwald #twilight #caius volturi #will tnt #counterfeit #vecna stranger things #henry creel #lgbtqplus #mental health #addiction #spooky #supernatural

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ranhaitanisgf · 7 months

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Hi. Can I have “love at first sight” with “movie theatre date” and its with Baji and its headcanons. So they fell in love and Baji suggested to go to a movie but the day got ruined because the movie was stopped halfway. Baji was super disappointed. But reader tells him the date was perfect because she got to spend time with him. And then she kisses him in the cheek goodbye and they start dating. Thank you very much. Your 2k even sounds super cool!

— baji keisuke // love at first sight // movie theater date

[𖤐] helloooo anon! thank you for requesting for my events a millenium ago, and i have finally answered! i kind of changed a littleeee bit of your req so that what i wrote made a little bit more sense, i hope you dont mind! enjoyyyyy my loveliessss xoxo

wc: 1.0k+

masterlist || 2k masterlist

♡ you could still remember the first time you laid eyes upon baji. it had been a relatively stressful day for you, given that it had been your first day at a new school. all the people in your class had crowded around you, wondering why there was suddenly an exchange student in the middle of the term. the crowd had been overwhelming, and you were trying to come up with an excuse to leave, starting to feel a bit claustrophobic with all the people who seemed like they were pressing in on you.

“you guys are being annoying as hell. are ya the paparazzi or somethin’? just scram already.”

♡ as the people crowding around you started to walk away, muttering to each other, you got a glimpse of your savior. his appearance was quite strange; the boy’s black hair was slicked back in a rather…interesting way, and he had glasses with thick lenses that blocked his eyes. despite his strange appearance, you felt your heart skip a beat for some reason. before you could try and thank him, he scoffed a bit and walked away, his hands in his pockets.

♡ the next time you had seen the boy, you had been purchasing juice from the vending machine behind the school. the coins that you had been holding in your hand had slipped between your fingers and fallen all over the ground. you’d groaned, already exhausted from the long day, but got down on the ground anyway and began picking up the multitude of coins you’d dropped.

“this yours?”

♡ looking up at the familiar voice, you saw a completely different person. it was the same voice as before, but his appearance had changed drastically. his black hair that had been slicked back before was now down, letting you see how long his hair actually was. his thick lensed glasses were nowhere to be found, showing the amber color of his eyes. your heart sped up its pace as you looked away, very aware that you were staring for a little longer than what would be necessary. quickly picking up the rest of your coins from the ground, you stood up, looking at the 5 yen coin between his fingers.

“uh, yeah, thanks…”

♡ he didn’t say anything as he handed you the coin, just watching you with a strangely perceptive look. as you began putting your coins into the vending machine, you looked at him occasionally, seeing if he was still watching you.

“what’s your name?” “oh! me? uh, it’s (y/n).” “huh, cool. i’m baji. baji keisuke.”

♡ it didn’t take long for you two to become a little bit…more than friends before he finally confessed to you, (it was quite cute; he got flowers for you and rather shyly asked you out). the first official date the two of you planned was to go and see a new action movie that had come out.

♡ baji had planned the entire date for you, even supposedly having a “surprise” for you at the end of the night, which left you feeling quite excited to see him.

♡ despite the fact that the weather forecast had said there was going to be no rain, when you had stepped outside to meet baji, you were met with a cloudy sky and a light drizzle. nonetheless, the boy was still outside of your door, (albeit a bit soaked from driving his motorcycle) with a smile on his face.

“i’m sorry…it wasn’t supposed to rain. d’you still wanna go, (y/n)?” “of course!”

♡ so, despite the rain, the two of you got on his bike and he drove to the theater, the light rain getting a bit heavy by the time you got there. your hair had gotten basically drenched, which was disappointing, but it made you feel a little better to see that baji’s hair was also drenched.

♡ he was a gentleman; opened the door into the theater for you, paid for both of your tickets, paid for your snacks. when you asked him about it, he just mumbled something about how, “it’s just a boyfriend thing” (it made you giggle a bit).

♡ when you two got settled into your seats and started watching the movie, it all seemed like it was going great! the two of you were whispering lowly about cool scenes and snickering about some of the jokes that were made.

♡ that is, until the movie suddenly shut off. you and baji looked to each other in confusion, thinking that it was maybe some sort of temporary error. that is, until a worker walked into the front of the theater.

“hey folks, we’re going through a power outage at the moment because of the storm outside, so we’ll have to ask you all to exit and come back another time.”

♡ baji had grumbled many grievances and curses under his breath as he grabbed both of your guys’ snacks, a clear look of annoyance on his face as you all filed out. they handed out vouchers for free popcorn and drinks the next time you guys came, but you could tell that it wasn’t enough to improve baji’s mood.

♡ the two of you ended up sitting on a bench outside of the theater, just covered enough by the awning that the rain wasn’t falling on the two of you.

“hey, keisuke, what’s wrong?” “nothin’...” “you really think you can get away with that?”

♡ your hand gently grabbed hold of his, smoothing your fingers over his knuckles as you looked at him, a bit of worry in your eyes. his hair was covering his face, so you couldn’t even see what kind of expression he was making.

“‘s just, i dunno, everything got ruined…” “keisuke, what do you mean? i still had a lot of fun!” “but there’s all this rain, and the movie even got canceled halfway through…and you got all rained on ‘cause of my bike…” “okay, and even though that all happened, it didn’t matter to me because i was with you.”

♡ baji leaned back, finally revealing his face to you. even though you could tell there was a little bit of sadness still, there was a slight flush to his cheeks and ears as he glanced over at you. you giggled at his flushed face, leaning over to lightly press your lips against his heated cheek.

“do you wanna run over into the diner and get milkshakes?” “hell yeah.”

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chunkecheeks · 2 years

Text

coming to terms with the fact that i actually just have really really sensitive skin and am deeply allergic to many things this year

#like... allergic to things on my skin #i could consume the elephant's foot and be fine i have a steel gut #anyways kind of had to come to terms with it because MY HAIR FELL OUT BC OF TEA TREE OIL #also old spice makes me itchy as hell and like deodorant has been doing that my whole life but old spice is WORSE #facial cleansers make me break out like crazy #this isn't even to mention my earlobes swelling up like balloons any time i wear earrings no matter what metal #also makeup makes my eyes burn if i wear it for more than an hour #and my lips swell and split if i wear like. most chapsticks on them #i have to slather them in vaseline constantly it is the only thing that doesnt make it worse #and all of this seems to just be getting worse as i get older or i didnt notice any of these things when i was younger

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americaswritings · 2 years

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Anything for you

Warnings: mean teenagers, a little angst, fluff

Summary: You get bullied at school. Luke feels helpless because he can’t do or say anything. But what he can do is be there for you, which leads to a surprise for the both of you.

Words: 4.6k

Pairing: Ghost!Luke Patterson x alive!reader

A/N: I recently watched Julie and the phantoms (I can’t believe it was cancelled!! Netflix, what are you doing???) and I fell in love with Luke. I mean who doesn’t, right? He’s just the cutest *intense heart eyes* and have you seen his arms??. Also boy can sing, dance and songwrite so consider me doomed.

Song lyrics are taken from the song “Invisible” by Hunter Hayes. I hope you enjoy!

Add yourself to my taglist!

Masterlist

Luke hadn’t intended to follow you to school. Frankly, he hadn’t planned on ever stepping into a school again. That time of his life was over, a time he missed but knew would never get back. He had come to terms with it, focusing on his music instead.

But from time to time it would hit him; the harsh reality that he would never talk to his parents again, never make up with his mother, never be touched again by someone except the guys from his band.

It hurt every time these thoughts dawned on him, but he pushed them aside, knowing he needed to be the strong one. The other boys needed him, so he couldn’t afford to be weak in front of them.

Despite, it didn’t matter anyway. Thinking about all the things he couldn’t do, the life he had missed out on wouldn’t change anything. He had thought he had dealt just fine, but then his birthday had come up.

He had watched his parents get together, blowing out the candle on the cake they had made while tears slipped down their faces. They held each other’s hands and he just wanted to touch them, hold onto them, and show them they weren’t alone. He was still there.

But he was just a ghost, unable to reach them. It broke his heart, hurt like it hadn’t hurt before.

But then you had showed up. You had given his parents the song he had written for them, for his mother. All the things he regretted saying and all the words that had never left his lips were captured in it, and he watched his mother’s chin tremble and his father sniff as their eyes darted over the page.

He had always known he was drawn to you, not just because you were the only one who could see the boys, but because of your kind heart, your warm smile, and jokes. You were special. He had known that even before he had first heard you sing, before he had read your song writing.

But in that moment, as he watched his family smile fondly through their tears, their pain raw but overtaken by love and a sense of gratitude, you watching them with tears shimmering in your own eyes, he knew he was hopelessly in love with you.

Hopelessly, because even if you liked him too, you could never be together. He couldn’t give you what you needed, what you deserved. Someone you could go out with in public or who you could introduce to your family. Someone to have a future with.

Someone to touch. He could never take your hand in his, never trail his fingers over your arm or caress your face, never run his fingers through your hair or hold you in his arms. He could never kiss you.

Luke had always been a physical person. His love language was touch, reaching out to someone to show them he was there. It was how he communicated with the other boys, not once thinking or caring how it could make him look.

Because despite his talent to write songs, Luke wasn’t good with words. Not in the moment anyway. He needed to think about them, twist them around in his head until they would form a beautiful prose for a song.

Not being able to touch you stung. The feeling grew stronger with each passing day, making him more desperate to feel you in some way. The two of you were deeply connected, not just through your music but through something else, something he couldn’t name but the boys would tease him with. Yet something was missing in that connection. Physical contact.

He knew it hurt you too, could see it in the way you reached out to him by accident before letting your hand fall back to your side, a tight smile on your lips as you tried to overplay what had happened.

You were one of the most optimistic people he knew, always trying to look at the bright side of life and giving the boys hope, but he could see you were hurting.

There was something on your mind you weren’t talking about. An invisible weight on your shoulders, you didn’t seem able to lose. He wanted to know what it was, wanted to know what he could do to help you, because seeing you upset hurt him just the same.

But he couldn’t ask you. He knew you would deny it, hide behind your smile again. He had considered going through your things, because there was no way you weren’t putting your feelings into song lyrics somewhere.

But although he didn’t regret going through your stuff in the beginning, after all it had led to the discovery that you were a songwriter too, a damn talented one, he couldn’t pretend it had been right either.

Over time the two of you had built a trust in each other he didn’t want to lose. Going through your things again, overstepping the line you had drawn, would destroy that trust. Maybe he would even lose you.

So he had to find another way to find out what caused your hurt. Following you around for a whole day had been an idea born out of boredom and a lack of inspiration for a song he was currently stuck on. He knew you, knew what your life was like, but did he really? You spend the first half of each day at school, a place he had never set a foot at.

You had never told the boys they weren’t allowed to show up at school, probably hadn’t thought it necessary to bring up, because they didn’t seem interested in your life as a student at all. So, it was the perfect opportunity for him to sneak past your border without betraying you.

Now, as he was following you into the big building from a distance, he suddenly felt a little nervous. The halls were crowded, filled with students standing at their lockers, making plans for the weekend, and chatting over their exams while heading to their classes. And, of course, gossiping. He hadn’t missed that part of high school.

Seeing you in the middle of them, your books clutched to your chest as you peeked into your locker, reminded him of how different the two of you truly were. You had a real life you had to live, a life aside from the music. You had a future ahead of you, something he would never have.

Luke shook his head as if he could shake those thoughts away. This was about finding out what troubled you, not about him and his own personal issues. You had been there for him through his lowest, now he wanted to do the same for you.

He pushed past the students, ignoring the way he slipped through them instead of bumping into each one. You were just closing your locker as someone walked up to you, a girl he realized, long wavy hair falling over her shoulders. Another girl and a boy joined her and he wondered how many friends you had, friends you couldn’t share with them.

But when you turned around, your eyes falling onto the group standing behind you, he saw you froze. Your jaw clenched and your eyes grew dull, suddenly missing the spark he adored so much. He stepped closer, keeping enough distance so you wouldn’t notice him, but needing to hear what they had to say.

He could see your body slumping under their gazes, the proud posture you had when you were performing replaced by what looked like you were making yourself smaller.

It was in that moment he realized you were afraid of them, of what they had to say. His heart clenched as he took another step forward, wanting to move to stand by your side but knowing he couldn’t.

“Hey, (y/n)!” The girl with the long hair spoke up, her voice loud, radiating confidence. You didn't react, waiting for her to continue but he could see you were clutching your books a little tighter, your knuckles turning white.

"I heard you signed up for the talent show." Luke tensed as he heard what this was about.

You were currently practising with the band for the show, the first one you would attend as a band. While Luke doubted it would get them far career wise, considering it was only a school event, he knew how important it was for you and in that sense for the whole band.

You had only recently begun to sing and compose songs again. When the boys had first met you, you had been hesitant to share your passion with them, convinced you weren't good enough.

It had taken them a lot of effort to make you believe in yourself and your abilities. Though music was your passion, it was something very vulnerable for you, something personal you were afraid to share with everyone else.

Luke got that in some way. While he couldn't wait to share a new melody, a new line, or a whole song with everyone who would listen, some lines were harder than others to put out into the world.

Music was his way of dealing with his emotions, a way to let out his feelings and cope with them. You were like him in that way and opening up to someone didn't come easy to either of you.

Writing music was one thing, but sharing such vulnerable lines with everyone else, a world full of people ready to judge, or worse, a school full of teenagers, was another.

So when you had briefly mentioned the talent show, the boys had agreed it was the perfect way for you to start sharing your music with other people than the boys.

It had taken a lot of convincing and a pep talk from Luke he was still proud of to get you to sign up and feel a little hopeful about it. Maybe even a bit excited.

Now he feared everything they had worked so hard on would be crushed by an envious teenage girl and he could only stand by and watch.

“The talent show- that’s a joke, right? I mean, you can’t even sing in front of our music class. Now imagine singing in front of the whole school.” The girl shuddered visibly. “That would be so awkward, am I right?” She turned towards her friends, who nodded eagerly in agreement.

“I am so embarrassed for you just by the fact that you actually thought you stood a chance. (Y/n) and talent show. That are two words that shouldn’t even be in the same sentence together!” She let out a chuckle, her friends joining in.

“That are actually more than two words”, Luke heard you mutter under your breath and although he was churning with rage at the audacity the group had to talk to you like that, he couldn’t help a proud smile creeping onto his face.

The girl sucked in a breath, clearly irritated by your words. “Seems like she’s too dumb to get the message”, she snorted, taking a step closer towards you. Involuntary you stepped back, stumbling a little when your back hit the locker and causing the group to break into laughter.

“You don’t belong here (y/n)! Nobody wants you here, anyway. You’re just taking up space. It’s pathetic! But what is even more pathetic is watching you think you have a chance at the contest, even though you’re literally the most untalented person I know.”

You gulped and Luke could see tears brimming in your eyes. He stepped forward, his hands balled into fists, though he knew it was useless. All he could touch was air.

“When will you finally see the truth like everyone else does? No one likes you and no one will ever like you! Not every duckling will turn into a swan, some just stay, well, ugly and weird." The girl giggled, smoothing down the hem of her dress as she finally stepped away.

“Bye, bye and enjoy your day, loser!”

Tossing her hair she marched away, her friends close on her heels. You were left standing at your locker, your bocks still tightly pressed to your chest as you fought back the tears.

Luke’s heart broke for you; the injustice he had just witnessed making him burn with rage. He hadn’t thought of you as the popular girl, but he had considered you had many friends and secret admirers, since you were funny, smart, kind-hearted, beautiful, and incredibly talented.

It turned out that those same traits were the reason you were on your own, the other students envying you for them. For your talent.

Looking at you he was certain this wasn’t the first time something like it had happened and it made him wonder how long this had been going on for. A few days? Weeks? Maybe even months?

How often had you hid behind your smile, had convinced them you were fine when you clearly weren’t?

It frustrated Luke beyond belief that he couldn’t say anything to your defence, tell those bullies just how pathetic it was to try and pull you down by saying such hurtful things. You deserved to have someone by your side, someone who stood up for you and had your back. You shouldn’t be alone.

But the best he could do was follow those bullies and scare them like they had done to get back at Billy. It didn’t feel enough, felt childish even, now that he thought about it. It might scare them, but it wouldn’t stop them from targeting you.

Maybe he could write something down, something like a threat so they would stop terrorising you, but there was a risk they would blame you for it. It might only make things worse for you and he didn’t want to take that chance. Not when it came to you.

It pained him to admit how helpless he truly was, but he tried to focus on the one thing he could do instead. He could be there for you.

“Hey.” His voice was soft as he spoke to you, stepping closer towards you. You flinched violently, turning towards him with big eyes. “Luke! What are you doing here?”

You tried to keep your voice down, not wanting to draw attention to the fact that you were speaking with what looked like pure air to everyone else, but he could still hear the alarm in it.

Luke bit his lip, conflicted over his next words. He wanted to be there for you, not cause you to be even more upset, especially at him. “I um-”, he scratched the back of his neck, suddenly unsure of himself, “I followed you”, he admitted, and he could see the disbelief in your eyes mixed with disappointment.

“Why would you do that?”, you asked wearily, suddenly pulling out your phone and holding it to your ear to mimic a phone call. You had done that before when the three of you had spent a day at the beach together, causing people to look at the girl who was talking to air.

It seemed to do the trick, because the moment their gazes fell onto the phone in your hands, they lost interest. Luke couldn’t deny he was impressed by it.

“You seemed off the past days. I just wanted to know what was going on. Please don’t be mad.” He was using his heart eyes on you now, something that had gotten him out of trouble countless of times before.

You let out an exasperated sigh, but your eyes visibly softened. “You could have just asked me”, you pointed out, causing him to raise his brows slightly. “Would you have told me the truth?”, he asked, and you bit your lip. “Probably not”, you confessed, and it seemed like you weren’t upset at him anymore.

For a moment it was silent between the two of you, your previous anger now turning into embarrassment. He could tell you were wondering just how much he had witnessed.

“I saw it all”, he clarified for you. He saw your body tense up at his words, your cheeks turning slightly red as you cast your eyes to the ground. You were ashamed, just like you had been when he had first found one of your songs, reading out the lyrics to you to try and prove how beautiful they sounded.

“Are you okay?”, he added gently, taking another step forward but stopping himself from reaching out to you. You nodded, but your eyes didn’t meet his. “I should go to class”, you told him, peaking over his shoulder. He shook his head, falling into step beside you when you walked past him.

“No, you shouldn’t. You should talk about what just happened.” You didn’t slow down. “Nothing happened so there is nothing to talk about.” “You know that’s not true!”

Luke leaped forward, blocking your way but you just walked through him. “Hey!” He caught up to you, wondering how else he could bring you to a halt. “Can you look at me for a second? Please?”

Your lips were pressed into a thin line, displaying your impatience, but you followed his request. When your eyes met another wave of sadness engulfed you, the tears returning as you were taken aback by his gentle expression. The way he looked at you, so loving and caring, so raw, was what caused cracks in your composure.

You tried to blink the tears away but failed.

The sight of a girl crying might have sent him running in the past. He wasn’t good at dealing with feelings, coped with his own through his music, so he had never trusted himself enough to try to comfort someone.

He feared he would say the wrong thing, preferred to make jokes to doge the tension that came with heavy emotions, telling himself that Alex could deal with it instead. He was the emotional one, the empathetic one.

But he couldn’t rely on the others all the time. Especially when it came to you, he felt he didn’t want to. He wanted to be the one you trusted enough to open up to, wanted to be the one who could make you feel understood. The person you turned to when things got heavy, who could cheer you up.

He would do anything to get you to smile again, so he decided that was what he was going to do. No more running from his problems, disappearing whenever he felt like it.

The bell had rung out a while ago, signalling that classes were about to start and the corridors were emptying visibly.

“Is there somewhere we can talk in private?”, Luke asked, thinking you knew your school better and could lead him to a quiet spot where no one would question a girl talking to thin air.

You nodded, leading him down a few corridors into a dark lit room.

He gazed around, noting you were behind what looked like a stage. He wondered if you had chosen the place by accident, or if it had to do with the upcoming show.

Either way, being backstage felt different from standing in the crowded hallways and he felt himself relax a little. Here he felt much more like himself again.

You sat down onto the floor, leaning your back against the wall, and hugging your knees into your chest. He had thought he would have to convince you to skip class, but it seemed you didn’t care anymore. When he looked down at you, you looked so small and fragile, so different from the person you were when you were performing.

Luke slid into the spot next to you, careful not to brush against you but not leaving much space between the two of you. He wanted to be there for you as much as he could and that included being as close as possible.

“You know that’s not true, right?” He didn’t miss a second, didn’t try to beat around the bush. “What that girl said to you...she just wanted to get to you, make you feel insecure and bad about yourself! “

You looked up at him, a few tears running down your cheeks. “But she’s right”, you sniffed, your voice breaking a little. “No one wants me here. I don’t belong here.”

Luke frowned, fidgeting at the energy that came with the urge to convince you otherwise and get through to you. “That’s so far from the truth!”

You peeked up at him through your tears. “Really? Then how come no one in this school cares about me. I don’t even have real friends here.”

“You have us”, Luke offered, but you shook your head. “That doesn’t count. You’re ghosts.” He flinched a little at your words and your face immediately twisted in regret.

“I didn’t mean it that way. You know how grateful I am for you. You make my life so much better. The band, the music we make...it feels like it’s giving me a purpose again. But I have another life too, one where I can’t rely on my ghost friends.”

Luke nodded slowly, knowing you were right. Although he felt the drive to tell you to screw everything and just focus on music, the rational part of him knew that other things in your life mattered too.

That was the difference between the two of you: you had a life outside of the music while his life was his music.

“I don’t know if I can perform at the talent show. Not when everyone wants me to fail.” You sniffed again and Luke gulped as your pain settled in his own chest.

“Those girls want you to fail because they feel threatened by how amazing you are. How gifted! That’s why you gotta show them what you got during the show. And I guarantee you, afterwards everyone will see your talent and want to be your friend.”

“You sound so sure about it”, you chuckled, wiping at your tears and Luke smiled proudly at you. “That’s because I am.”

You tilted your head at him, curiosity written over your face. “How can you always be so sure about everything?” The smile spread over his lips easily, lighting up his face.

“You’re smart, funny, and selfless. You’re beautiful and insanely talented! They just haven’t seen that yet. Of course, everyone will want to be friends with you once they realize that! That’s how I know.” His smile had turned from a goofy one into a fond one, but he didn’t try to hide it.

Your tears had stopped flowing and you were looking at him like you were in awe, something he hoped was a sign he wasn’t screwing this up entirely.

But as you kept staring at him, not saying a word he suddenly felt his nerves flare up again. Perhaps he had been too quick with his assessment, and he had said something wrong.

But what?

He wrecked his brain for anything, but his pounding heart and your eyes on him were making it hard to think straight. Just as he wanted to ask you, if he had said something wrong, your blinked, your lips turning up into one of your smiles, which always filled him with warmth.

“Thank you, Luke!” Your eyes were bright as you looked at him, and he couldn’t help but return your smile with one of his own. “Anything for you”, he muttered, turning his torso so he was now sitting next to you, head leant against the wall and facing the backside of the stage.

It was quiet for a moment, but not in a way which longed for words. It was a silence that felt comfortable and put him at ease, his mind wandering off to form words into lines in his head.

You sat like that for a while, both of you engulfed by a peaceful silence that allowed him to write the beginning of a song in his head. It was so easy, the words coming to him without an effort, and he could feel himself growing excited as the first part began to come together.

Luke was so caught up in his head, in the lines he was rearranging in his head, that he didn’t feel the weight on his shoulder. Just as he decided his idea was worth sharing, he snapped back into reality, a reality where your head was resting on his shoulder.

“(Y/n)! Oh my god!”, he breathed, not wanting to startle you but not being able to hide his excitement. “What?”, you muttered, seemingly unwilling to give up your comfortable position. “You didn’t slip through me!”

You furrowed your brows, but a second later your eyes flew open, your head shooting up as you looked at him with wide eyes. “I didn’t slip through you!”, you repeated, the excitement he felt mirrored in your voice.

“Oh my god Luke! This is- this is huge!” You stared at each other in shock, suddenly unable to form coherent sentences. “I felt you and you were warm!”, you gushed, and he couldn’t contain his big smile. “I felt you too!”

He didn’t care that you were grinning at each other like idiots, didn’t care how it was possible, he could only focus on the pure happiness he felt. He slowly reached out, taking your hand into his. It was soft and warm.

You shared another look, both of you beaming with excitement at the newfound connection. “Can I?”, Luke asked as he slowly reached for your face. You nodded, both of you holding your breath as he gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear before running his fingers over your cheek.

He could see the tears in your eyes again, but your smile told him they were happy tears, something he didn’t have to worry about. When he lowered his hand, it was your turn to reach out, taking his face gently into your hands.

Tears sprung to his eyes as he felt your warm fingertips on his cheeks, the softest touch on his cheekbones. “How is this possible?”, you whispered, but he didn’t care, didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing this again.

The relief he felt at being able to touch you was so big he doubted he would be able to let go of you anytime soon. How could he, if the next time he tried to touch you he could slip right past you again?

But you didn’t seem to mind as you let go of his face only to wrap your arms around him in a tight embrace. He didn’t hesitate to lock his arms behind your upper back, pulling you into his chest. He couldn’t believe he was holding you, holding another person, someone who was alive.

What did it mean for him? Was there a chance for him at a life again?

His thoughts were racing, so he tried to focus on one thing, the one that had brought him peace just moments ago. “I just wrote something in my head”, he whispered against your hair. “You wanna heart it?”

“Yes!” He smiled to himself before growing serious again as he focused on the words.

“So your confidence is quiet

To them, quiet looks like weakness

But you don't have to fight it

'Cause you're strong enough to win without a war

Every heart has a rhythm

Let yours beat out so loudly

That everyone can hear it

Yeah, I promise you don't need to hide it anymore

Oh, and never be afraid of doing something different

Dare to be something more.”

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messers-moony · 3 years

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King and Queen | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Fem!Potter!Reader, James Potter X Fem!Twin!Reader

Summary: James goes through a lot during his time at Hogwarts but his sister is always by his side.

Inspiration: Click

A/N: If this comes off insensitive to anyone please let me know and I will remove this.

James Potter was a handful. From the minute he was born, he had this gleam in his hazel eyes that raged and burned with trouble. His twin, Y/n Potter, was almost the opposite. The soft smile that laid on her features and the glitter of calamity in her eyes. Euphemia and Fleamont were in for a lot the minute their twins were born.

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder is most comparative to having a web browser up with one too many tabs. James had always been unable to focus and was naturally messy. Truth be told, he thought it was normal, just as everyone else did. It wasn’t until his second year at Hogwarts did he realize something was genuinely wrong with him.

Remus told him that he had this muggle thing called “dyslexia,” which was a difficulty in interpreting words, letters, and other symbols. However, it never affected his overall intelligence because everyone knew that Remus Lupin was indeed and wholly brilliant. It got James wondering, did his inability to focus, be organized, and hyperactivity have a deeper meaning?

His twin - Y/n - was quite the opposite. She made quick friends with Remus, Sirius, and Peter, who were close friends of her twin. Y/n was top of their class, creating a friendly competition with Remus, but she was always able to focus. Often she would hyper-focus, which would leave her working for over five hours at a time without realizing it. In those times, James would have to snap her out of it.

Over the summer, James expressed his concerns to his parents. He was talking about how this could be a real issue he’s facing using Remus’ dyslexia as an example. Eventually, they gave in, letting James go to a muggle doctor. James had to fill out a questionnaire that would come back with his results in one week. That week was probably the longest week of his life. Nonetheless, his test results had come back positive.

Fleamont and Euphemia would be lying if they were surprised. After hearing about the disorder, it was almost the definition of their eldest son. Fortunately for James, the muggles had come up with a cure - no, not a cure - dammit, what was it again?

Impede the symptoms! That’s what those muggle pills do. James was required to take two pills a day, one in the morning and once at night. Y/n was in charge of making sure he did so because - more times than he’d like to admit - he would forget everything if it wasn’t for Y/n.

In third year, James was as energetic as ever while getting on the Hogwarts Express, “Aren’t you excited, Y/n?!”

She chuckled, “Yes, but Merlin, you don’t need to literally jump with joy.”

“But I’m excited!”

“I know that.”

They made their way to the compartment that held Remus, who was reading a book. James sat in front of him while Y/n took her seat beside Remus, “‘Ello Remus.”

“Hey, Potter pair.”

Y/n sighed, and James groaned, “That nickname needs to go away.”

“I quite like it.” Remus stated smugly, “Suits you both.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Y/n accused falsely, “It means that wherever one of you are, the other isn’t that far behind.” Remus replied.

James had zoned out already, and Y/n snapped in his face, “Take your pills?”

“Forgot.” James muttered guiltily, “Oh Godric.” She whispered.

“Pills?”

“James went to a muggle doctor this summer.”

Remus quirked an eyebrow, “Did you now?”

“Got diagnosed with ADHD.” James informed, and Remus looked amiss, “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.”

“Ah, I’ve heard of that.” Remus said, and James smiled sheepishly, “I feel kinda odd, like out of place.”

“Why?”

“Dunno, just, why can't I be normal?”

“You are normal, James.” Y/n reassured, “And anyone who says differently obviously doesn’t care about you.”

The compartment door slammed open, “Who doesn’t care about who?”

Remus snorted, “Ever the dramatics, huh, mate?”

“‘Course.” Sirius flopped down beside James, “It comes with my charm and devilishly good looks.”

“Ah, yes.” Y/n said, chuckling, “Don’t you see how I’m swooning for you?”

The back of her palm was against her forehead, “Come off it.” James swatted at her and then elbowed Sirius, “Better not make my sister swoon.”

Sirius chuckled and shrugged, “Can’t help it. I’m just that irresistible.”

The four of them laughed at Sirius’ dramatics and continued talking about the new term. Remus and Y/n were talking about books they couldn’t wait to read. Remus was even kind enough to gift her some muggle books he bought over the summer holiday. Sirius and James bickered about what pranks to do this year, along with which ones were better.

Third-year was fun. It was a year of flooding corridors, turning Slytherin robes red and blasting music in the common room after a Gryffindor victory. James was a brilliant Quidditch Chaser, and Y/n was a fantastic Seeker. Nothing was quite like the Potter pair. Something about them was just unforgettable.

Maybe that’s why Sirius was so fond of her. Something about the Potters made people around them smile on the hardest of days. They made sure that every moment was a night to remember. Every memory was worth reliving. So adventurous, so reckless, yet so kind and loving.

By the time fifth year rolled around, Sirius Orion Black had fallen off a cliff into a lake called love. Sirius completely submerged himself in love for Y/n Potter. The younger twin by just 20 minutes, but something about her was so divine. Was it her silk and glittering h/c hair? No - maybe it was her gleaming e/c eyes. Perhaps it was for her strive for adventure and extreme kindness.

Nonetheless, Sirius fell hard.

And who better to tell than James Potter himself?

Causally - as usual - Sirius opened the door to the Marauders dorm. It was empty aside from the brunet boy with glasses on the bridge of his nose. His hazel eyes were focused on a textbook - Potions textbook - maybe it was to impress Lily. Sirius couldn’t care less, so he pulled the chair out in front of the desk and sat before James.

“Mate, I need your help.”

“Running from Filch?”

“No. Something- Something worse.”

“Something worse?” The textbook shut loudly.

Sirius nodded, “Way worse.”

“Alright then, come into my office.” James teased, and Sirius grinned.

It was silent, “I’m in love with your sister.”

James sputtered, “Excuse me?”

“I’m in love with Y/n.”

“No, no.” James waved his hand horizontally, “I heard you.”

“Then what else would you like me to say?” Sirius asked.

“Literally anything else.”

“Sorry, mate.” Sirius muttered, “I- I really didn’t mean to.”

James chuckled and wiped his hand across his face, “I suppose you can’t really stop love, huh?”

“You really can’t.” Sirius agreed, “I tried. I promise I tried.”

“It’s not that big of a deal late.” James assured, and Sirius looked at him with wide eyes, “I trust you just-“

“Just?”

“I’m worried about her.” James completed, “I- I worry about her every night.”

Sirius softened, “It’s like you with Regulus-“ James continued before Sirius could interject, “And don’t pretend. Your silencing charms are bloody terrible.”

“I know you still care for Regulus, you worry about him every night, and I do the same for Y/n, except my silencing charms are better.” James teased sightly, “I trust you, Sirius. You’re the brother I never got but always wanted. You know, the brother I can play Quidditch with, rough around with, the brother who’s just as sneaky and mischievous as I.”

“But Y/n is still my blood. She's my twin, my best friend, my partner in crime. She was the mind behind my pranks before Remus.” James elaborated and then smirked, “Remus and Y/n make a great team, ya’ know?”

“They are quite brilliant.”

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, take care of her?” James looked like the eleven-year-old boy again, “Don’t make her a fling and don’t make this temporary.”

“Y/n is a strong woman, and she isn’t for weak men. I’ll be honest,” James chuckled, “She doesn’t need a man. She doesn’t even really need me. I need her more than she needs me. Regardless, take care of her. She deserves a man worthy of her. Someone that’ll get her ice cream at 4 a.m. because she’s craving it. Someone that’ll go on sporadic trips with her. Someone that’ll understand that after a hard day, all she wants is a book and coffee.”

Sirius was appalled; he’d never seen James look so passionate, “Growing up, mum always told me to be a gentleman. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but she always raised me as one. To hold a door for them, push and push in their chairs for them, give them my jacket even if I’ll freeze.”

“Those kinda things. Dad said I should practice on Y/n, and I did. From then, Y/n always got treated like a queen, and she deserves no less. I won't lie, my parents treat me like a king too, and I don’t want any less either.” James explained, “Be the king that’s worthy of my sister.”

“That’s all I ask of you.”

Sirius nodded, “I’d be honored to serve her as my queen.”

“And if you show her no less, she’ll spit you out like chewing gum.”

He shuttered, “I hate how accurate that phrase is.”

James laughed, “I know her more than you think.”

By sixth year they were dating. Sirius would be lying if he wasn’t eternally shitting himself when Y/n said yes to going to Hogsmeade with him, alone, as a date. In fact, James almost wanted to throw him a party for finally not being a little bitch and asking out his sister. This party consisted of a bottle of firewhiskey and chocolate because that’s all that was in the boy's dormitory. But a party nonetheless.

When Lily rejected James for the last time before graduation, he was utterly heartbroken. He’d spent and dedicated seven years of his life to this gorgeous woman. Despite all his efforts and all his charms, she still wasn’t interested. James tried. He really tried. He wanted Lily so bad. His heart broke when she said her final words of goodbye.

“I’m sorry, Potter. Maybe in another life, just not this one.”

Tears had ebbed at the corner of his eyes as he made his way back into the castle from the Black Lake. In the common room, where he felt like he had just got dowsed in water. James made his way to the girl's dormitory. His hand curled into a fist and knocked lightly on the wooden door. Shuffling was heard from the other side, and the door finally opened, revealing his sister.

Without warning, James crashed into her arms, forcing his nose in the crook of her neck, “Woah.”

“Are you okay, James?”

His body shook with sobs as he shook his head no, “It’s okay. Let’s go lay down, okay?”

Gently she led him to her bed. He curled up beneath the navy blue comforter and placed his head on the silk pillow sheets. If he tried hard enough, he could forget the way Lily’s hair smelt today or the way her green eyes glistened in the sun. Now engulfed in his sister's scent, trying to remove every feeling for Lily possible, he dug his nose deeper into the comforter.

Y/n sat beside him, her back to the headboard, and ran her fingers through James’ already untied hair, “What's got you so worked up?”

“It’s done.”

“What’s done?”

“L- Lily and I.” James choked, “She- She really doesn’t want me.”

A new wave of tears overcame him, and Y/n continued to try and soothe him, “Well, she’s a tosser.”

James narrowed his eyes, “James, you know I love her. She's my best friend, but if she can’t see what’s right in front of her, then she’s an idiot.”

“Can I- Can I stay here tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay at your dorm?” Y/n questioned, “Because you know who sleeps here.”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Till the end.”

After a couple of minutes, Y/n and James made their way down the steps to the boy's side. They walked up more steps and finally made it to the boy's dormitory. James collapsed on his bed in the left corner of the room, and Sirius perked up at seeing his girlfriend enter the room.

“Whatcha doin’ here, love?”

“Staying with my brother.”

Sirius nodded and stood up to hug her, gently pecking her forehead, “If you guys need anything, let me know, ‘kay?”

“Thanks, Siri.”

Gently Y/n pulled back the maroon curtain and sat down beside him again. James reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. Something they used to do as kids. When a thunderstorm would go by, James would always seek sanctuary in his sister's comfort.

He fell asleep that night, knowing he was safe, loved, and knew that someone cared about him. Even if Lily didn’t love him, at least someone else did. He had his boys, and he had his sister. Right now, that’s all he needed beside him: Screw Lily and her idiot decision skills. Y/n was right; she was a complete tosser.

When Hogwarts was over, James and Y/n got a flat together. Sirius, Remus, and Peter got one only a floor above. Realistically this wasn’t the plan. James always planned to buy a house with Lily, but he was still healing, and after everything going on, it was vital for him to hold his sister close to him.

Euphemia and Fleamont barely lived to see their children graduate. Not too long afterward had died due to the horrid dragon pocks. It devastated both twins and Sirius. While Sirius wasn’t their true child, he very well could’ve. Euphemia noticed Sirius’s lingering stares on Y/n and the loopy smile that graced his features.

She was the one who got Sirius to man up. She was the one who gave him advice. She was the one who told him what books were her favorite, which chocolate she liked the best, her favorite quills. Euphemia was one of the main components in getting Sirius to date her daughter, and when it finally happened, the parents couldn’t have been happier.

James’ ADHD still remained even in his adulthood, making regular everyday tasks much harder and twice as long. Most of the time, the pills were able to help him complete those tasks. But sometimes, when Y/n wasn’t there to remind him, he would miss his days. When Y/n got home from work, she had barely taken off her shoes to see the apartment spotless.

It was a pleasant surprise, but James was never really one to clean, not that she really minded, but the apartment didn’t have a speck of dust on it. Hesitantly she put her keys on the island along with her bag.

“James!”

“Yes, Y/n?”

He appeared in the kitchen where Y/n was, “Um, did you clean the apartment?”

“Yes, I did!” James nodded enthusiastically.

Y/n sighed and gave her brother a sweet smile, “What did you not do today?”

“So, you know how you told me to go to the pharmacy?”

“Mhm.” Y/n nodded, “Indeed I do.”

“Well, they were out of my meds.” James informed, “I have to wait a week.”

“Oh, Merlin.”

“On the bright side!” James was already causing her a headache, “It’s gonna be a fantastic week! I’ve got so many things planned for us! We’re gonna go-“

James continued to ramble as Y/n grabbed her keys, bag and slipped back on her shoes, “I’m going to Sirius’!”

“Thought you were my sister.” James faked pouting, and Y/n smiled, “I love you, but you’re crazy.”

“I love you too!” He yelled as she closed the door.

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huge-enthusiast · 3 years

Text

Miraculous fic recomendations!!

This is just an excuse to show all my bookmarks? Yes. Yes, it is. I'm pretty sure most of this fics are really popular, but try see if you find something you didn't knew about!

All of the fics will be rated Teen and up audiences or lower. Also if I don't put the author's tumblr is because they didn't put it in the fic or/and I couldn't find it.

Pairing: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug

knowing you by emsylcatac (they are not really the author of the fic but that's the account that says in the fic, the actual author doesn't have an account).

After dropping their transformations months ago, Marinette and Adrien see each other for the first time after being apart. They've both left too much unsaid and have to work to pick up the pieces of their confused hearts.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal but mostly ladynoir, light angst with happy ending.

the last day on earth by Reiaji

The first time Marinette sees Chat Blanc, she's fourteen years old. The second time, fifteen—the third time, seventeen.

The closer she grows to Adrien, the harder it is to save him.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal lovesquare, kinda heavy angst, hopeful ending.

tell me something i don't know by carpisuns (@carpisuns here on tumblr)

Do you think it still means something? To love someone, even if the universe said you had to?

The odds of having a soulmate are about negative one billion (or something like that). But somehow, like they always have, Marinette and Chat Noir find themselves together. They’re ready to finally tell each other everything, but it turns out that even soulmates have to keep secrets, and while their bond draws them together, duty forces them apart.

Chapters: currently 17/28 (WIPs can be exhausting but this one is 100% worth the wait!)

Mostly marichat but almost all of the lovesquare sides make an appearance, soulmates au, mostly fluff but it can get angsty if it wants to.

One Thing After Another by SKayLanphear

Marinette notices that, sometimes, Adrien acts a little out of the ordinary--like the time he stood in a cardboard box for no reason, or when he actually hissed at Nino. It's only when she starts to notice the similarities between Adrien and a certain feline that she begins to get suspicious.

Basically, Adrien acts like a cat when he probably shouldn't.

Chapters: 15/15

Mostly adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, miraculous side effects (by both sides wich is really cool!), it's fluff with a lil tiny angst for drama.

This would take some getting used to by Codango (@codango here on tumblr!)

Adrien peeked out from behind the chimney even as the magic of his own Chat Noir mask fell away.

She was still visible, her dark hair bobbing under the street lamps a couple blocks away.

“Marinette.”

Adrien blew out a confused breath. His fiery Ladybug… was the quiet little mouse who sat behind him in class?

“What. The.”

This… would take some getting used to.

Chapters: 8/8

Adrienette with one sided reveal by Adrien's part, awkward flirting, just fluff, nothing to worry about.

comfort food also by Reiaji!

In Marinette's house, cooking is a language of love, and Marinette loves Adrien more than most.

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette with a little of ladynoir, super super fluff, a lot of insight into Marinette's chinese heritage.

The right side of his face by walkingonthestars (@hamsternamedmarinette here on tumblr!)

Marinette and Adrien are able to remain in their new seats in the back of the room at the end of Chameleon.

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette, fluff with light angst.

it's a long way forward so trust in me by aloneintherain (@captainkirkk here on tumblr!)

“You’re not the only strong one around here, Chat,” Marinette said. She looked a little winded, but she wasn’t struggling to hold him up.

This close up, he could see the freckles on the bridge of her nose. He could see how that smug smile lit up her eyes. He could feel the strain of her arms—and wow, okay, he really wasn’t the only person around here with muscles.

Six times Marinette carried Adrien (plus one time he carried her).

Chapters: 1/1

All the sides of the lovesquare! Fluff with LOTS of mutual pining.

a fight that you were born to lose also by aloneintherain

When the prosecution starts throwing around the word victim in reference to Adrien, he has to stuff his hands under his thighs to keep himself from bolting out of the courtroom.

Adrien had felt unsafe during those last few weeks, but, until he had woken up and seen Father silhouetted in his bedroom doorway, that had only been paranoia. Father was controlling and cold, but he wasn’t hateful. Adrien was isolated. He was often hungry. And some weeks ago, when he had snuck out to visit Nino, sitting thigh-to-thigh on his bed while Adrien cried in that silent, crumbling way of his, he hadn’t argued when Nino put a hand on his shoulder and said, tentatively, That’s abuse.

But Adrien remembers being small and Father touching his hair after he’d aced another test; Father holding his scribbled drawings like they were something precious, and framing them around his office; Father, dressed as Hawkmoth, his eyes wild behind the mask, lashing his sword against Adrien’s baton; Father, collapsed against Mum, crying into her ashy hair.

Adrien finds out Gabriel is Hawkmoth, and Gabriel gets to bring his long-waited plan into action.

Chapters: 1/1

This one doesn't really focus in the ship that much as is an Adrien character study and an exploration of his relationship with his father, but they're still there so I put them here. Really heavy angst (this is one of this fics that haunt me in the middle of the night) with a happy ending. ❗TW: parental abuse, eating disorders❗

Supercut by LNC

Marinette loves her friends and Adrien can't deal.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal lovesquare, again light angst, an exploration of Adrien's insecurities, Marinette Dupain-Cheng deserves the world, happy ending.

Madame Snare by jettiebettie

“Sounds like a lot of work for nothing. She should take this as a sign to have a relaxing weekend with no responsibilities.”

“It's a lot of work she put her whole heart into. It wouldn't be right for it to go to waste,” Adrien whispers to him. The look on Marinette's face is enough to cause Adrien's own heart to ache. If anyone deserves the satisfaction and pride from a job well done, it's her.

“Too bad there isn't anyone else who can walk in those death traps,” Plagg says. Adrien hums in thought, tapping his chin.

“I could.”

Chapters: 1/1

Marichat, episode-based, Chat Noir in a dress!!!, light angst but it's mostly just idiots being idiots and a lot of fun.

in the same sun by peachcitt (@peachcitt here on tumblr!)

"It’s hard to believe that I saw you last at the peak of summer, when the sun was close and warm - and so were you. It should go without saying that I miss you. I miss you something terrible."

"It’s been seven months to the day since I’ve seen you. I wish you were here more than anything else."

Two letters, signed with initials instead of names, found in Paris, France.

Chapters: 1/1

Ladynoir, just angst, that's it, written like letters. No ending, just pain.

an uncurtain discovery by Missnoodles (@ladyofthenoodle here on tumblr!)

When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.

(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)

Chapters: 1/1

Ladrien, it says it's crack, and don't get me wrong, is super funny, but I also found it sad as fuck?

An Open Secret by Kasienda

Adrien whirled around toward Marinette. She smiled at him.

He couldn’t smile back. He stared at her like the dumb blond model that he was often accused of being.

Something shifted in her expression. And her warm open Marinette smile transformed into Ladybug’s grin. He was looking at Ladybug right now.

He knew Ladybug’s name!

Her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

And he couldn’t say anything! Not to Marinette! Not even to Plagg, who had confided two weeks prior that Master Fu was growing increasingly paranoid since the location of his home and hideout had been compromised. Their master had apparently decided that Chat Noir and Ladybug would have to give up their miraculouses if they ever discovered each other’s identities.

It wasn’t fair!

...

A fic where they both know, but can't openly talk about it.

Chapters: 4/4

Post-reveal... but is it? Mostly adrienette and ladynoir, fluff with light angst and them being absolute idiots at hiding their secret identity.

golden (like daylight) by okayanna (@anna-scribbles here on tumblr!)

Friendship, Adrien decided, shaking off the mental image of Marinette’s hurricane eyes and hesitant mouth, parted in a small, careful “o.” He had a very strong friendship with Marinette. That was all.

Adrien thinks a lot about words, love, and Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Chapters: 1 + epilogue

Adrienette but has lots of ladynoir, another Adrien character study because I hate myself, it tries to not be angst but the writing will punch you in the guts and make you cry, it's so good.

Strangers in the Bright Lights by poodles (@ladybeug here on tumblr!)

Adrien is about two drinks in when he sees a girl at the end of the bar wearing black cat ears. It's kind of weird, so he watches her, and although it's crowded he can see her face when she turns around. She’s wearing a Chat Noir mask. He takes a quick look around- nobody else is wearing a mask. Just her.

Adrien finishes his gin martini and heads over to her. He could use some company tonight anyways, he hasn’t told anyone he’s back in Paris and Nathalie won’t arrive in town for another month. And it’s been a rough day, okay? A rough move! He’s not sure he wants to be back yet, and he spent most of the day in the Agreste mansion sorting through some photographs of his father he found in the study. Maybe he wants a drink and some stranger to tell him he’s pretty! That’s not a crime, is it?

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette but it's also ladrien??? I think??? It's super super angsty but they're both drunk the entirety of the fic so it's also really funny.

Pick-Up and Chase by also SKayLanphear

After she accidentally trips into Adrien and apologizes about "falling for him," Marinette learns that he's no match for cheesy pick-up lines--whether they were unintended or not. And while she finds it flattering that he turns into a flustered mess with only a few words, Marinette comes to regret making him uncomfortable. That is, until she learns he's Chat Noir. At which point the phrase "just deserts" becomes a permanent fixture in her everyday plans.

A story in which Adrien is flustered, Marinette is smooth as glass at dropping lines, and Chat Noir gets the romance he was always asking for--even if he doesn't quite know how to handle it.

Chapters: 10/10

Adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, it doesn't say it in the tags but I'm pretty sure the characters are much older than they actually are in the show, so much fluff and so much flirting.

Pairing: Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe

Nino Has Done Nothing To Deserve This by GuardianKarenTerrier (@guardiankarenterrier here in tumblr)

It's nothing, really- just an innocent comment, a joke. But when they hear it, Nino and Alya come to a realisation.

There were, in retrospect, dozens upon dozens of hints. Now that they're suddenly aware of all their friend's flimsy excuses and rushed explanations, they're not only sure how they've missed it, they're not sure how anyone else has either. They realise that it had to be magic protecting their friends- and that same magic has ceased to work on the two of them.

Well, this means they'll just have to start watching over their friends themselves.

Chapters: 7/7

This is more a found family fic than anything else, Alya and Nino are the mom friend, has light angst but it's mostly identity shenanigans in the most bizarre way. ❗TW: eating disorders❗

christmas lights by demistories

Nino checks up and down the street, checking to make sure there’s no raging akuma headed his way before he crosses quickly and ducks inside the small café. He closes the door quickly before the icy air can blow inside and tugs his beanie down over his ears. He spots Alya sitting alone in the corner.

Chapters: 1/1

Just fluff!! Really short but really sweet.

hold on, i still want you also by Missnoodles!

Written for the @thedjwifizine ! Wich I also recommend if you wanna binge a lot of djwifi fics while also looking at amazing art!!!

Five times Alya ran into her ex, and the one time he stopped being her ex.

Chapters: 1/1

Light angst with a happy ending! I don't really like the ex-lovers to lovers trope but this one is the only exception.

I will continue to expand the list in the future! But by now I hope I was helpful in the search of new fics!

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