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wkemeup · 3 years

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favorite fanfic trope: enemies to lovers but it's the moment when their tension is at its peak 😈

title: The Mess I Made - submitted by anon summary: you may not be on the best terms with Bucky Barnes, but it doesn't stop you from coming to his defense prompt: “Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low my standards are for you.” / multiple requests for enemies to lovers word count: 1.5k a/n: enemies to lovers is already tough for me and to do it in drabble form is impossible for me because it requires a slow burn, but I did my best!!

You were on your way to the tower's gym when you heard Bucky’s voice echo from the end of the hall. Towel swung over your shoulder, headphones barely even grazed your ears as you paused, turning down the music. Bucky’s shadow danced over the walls as his run his hands through his hair. A woman’s shadow emerged next to him, her heels clicking against the tiles.

You rolled your eyes. Bucky’s latest string of conquests were an inconvenience at best. His pathetic attempt to rekindle whatever version of himself he idolized from the forties in the form of cheap, meaningless hookups was just another reason you made every effort to steer clear of Barnes. His seemingly indifference towards you made easy to do so.

Steve wouldn’t let it go – his questioning of why the two of you could never get along. It wasn’t that you hated Barnes. You didn’t know him well enough to hate him. You just didn’t care for what you saw. He was guarded and cold. Condescending and arrogant. Half the time, you barely believed Steve’s stories of Bucky’s charming days in the forties. The rare moments you caught his smile, it looked forced. It barely touched his eyes and he wore a mask to bring home women who spent their nights admiring an arm he would not allow them to touch.

The rare moments you thought you saw something genuine in him, he’d lashed out. The cracks in his foundation breaking through the surface in the screams at the night of dead of night, flinching at loud noises, the easy transition to taking orders and losing himself for the briefest of moments.

You’d made the mistake once of trying to comfort him. His eyes had glazed over in the middle of a conversation. There were dozens of agents around for the annual holiday party and Bucky was in another world entirely. His pupils were dilated, his hands shaking as he closed them to fists. You never learned what triggered it, but the moment you laid a gentle hand upon his forearm, Bucky had you in a chokehold.

It took both Sam and Tony’s strength to wield Bucky away from you, all while he was practically foaming at the mouth, screaming at you to never touch him again. He was rabid as Sam and Tony struggled to hold him back. The whole party stopped to watch the scene unfold – as Bucky hurtled countless insults at you.

He was drinking Thor’s liquor. He had to have been. Half of what he said that night barely made any sense. None it worth the audacity to lay a hand upon his arm to draw him back from wherever his mind had taken him. Perhaps, if you weren’t so thoroughly humiliated, you might have considered as much.

But what he said that night stayed with you and you never let it go.

“Why don’t you stay, sweetheart?” Bucky’s voice carried down the hall.

You tapped your foot impatiently at the elevators, desperate for an escape before he turned the corner. You noticed the woman’s heels were still clicking on the floors. She hadn’t stopped.

“Let me take you for breakfast, at least,” Bucky asked, a nervousness in his voice you didn’t recognize. He cleared his throat. “I was thinking we could—”

“I’m going to stop you right there.” The clicking ceased and you watched as the woman’s shadow placed a hand on Bucky’s chest, stilling him in an instant. “I thought you knew what this was.”

“I did. I do, but,” Bucky started, running a hand through his hair. You’d never seen him act this way before – so unsure of himself. The elevator doors open and closed as you watched his shadow sway on his heels. “I just... I want to try something different. Something... real and I thought, since we had a nice night together you might...”

“What?” the woman scoffed. “You thought I would want to date you?”

Bucky stiffened. Even his shadow appeared to mask into stone. Dread curdled in your stomach and you found yourself inching down the hall, approaching the shadows.

“Listen,” the woman crooned, “you were great last night and sleeping with the Winter Soldier is a hell of a story, but you’re not exactly... relationship material.”

You froze, stunned.

Bucky awkward cleared his throat. “I-I know, and I’m working on that. I just thought—”

“Oh my God, take the hint!” the woman exclaimed and you flinched in time with Bucky’s shadow against the wall. “Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? Clearly all I wanted was a good lay. I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about this clingy shit with the Winter Soldier for Christ's sake. It’s incredible how low my standards were for you.”

“What the hell is your problem?”

You rounded the corner, tossing your workout gear aside as you came face to face with the woman. She was a beautiful as the rest of them were – tall, stunning, probably one of the models you’ve seen on runways or on magazines. But her eyes were unkind, and dismissive.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” she spat, shoving past your shoulder and heading to the elevator. You moved to block her when you felt the cold grasp of vibranium curl around your wrist, yanking you out of her path.

“Hey!” you yelped, watching as the woman made her escape into the elevator. You snatched your hand back, massaging at the tender muscle. “What the hell, Barnes?”

“I don’t need you coming to my rescue,” Bucky bit back. “I had it handled.”

You scoffed, the image of Bucky’s form flinching as she called him ‘pathetic’ still fresh in your mind. You’d never known him to back down from a fight. Hell, he’d gotten into a screaming match with a paparazzi for daring to ask how his morning jog went. Bucky didn’t roll over and play dead. But he let that woman wrap a hand around his throat until he choked.

“Sure looked handled,” you rolled your eyes. “She was walking all over you.”

“My sex life is not your concern,” he growled, his voice low as his eyes hooded.

“I never said a damn thing about your sex life, Barnes.” You shook your head, already regretting stepping in at all. It was pointless – foolish even – to think that he might be appreciative of your intervention, of the fact that despite the tense history between you, you would never stoop as low as that woman did.

You bent down and picked up the gym bag you’d let slip from your hands. “If you want to be treated like shit, then by all means, have fun with your next one night stand. I'll steer clear of the fallout.”

You started to head back towards the gym when you heard Bucky groan rather dramatically behind you. You paused, glancing over your shoulder as Bucky hit a fit against the wall.

“What is your—”

“You are so goddamn infuriating!” Bucky snapped and your jaw dropped.

“Are you serious right now? Me? I’m the infuriating one?” You released your bag, letting the weights hit the floor as you stalked back to him. “You’re the ungrateful jerk who just yelled at the one person who bothered to stand up for you!”

Bucky gritted his teeth. “I never asked you to do that!”

He was only inches away. His breath hot against your cheeks. You could see the dark blue specs in his eyes from this close. The blacks of his eyes nearly consuming him whole.

“Maybe that’s your problem, Barnes,” you sneered. “You think you need to ask for help, that it’s earned or deserved, but it’s not! Sometimes people just want to help you, you asshole! Sometimes, people can be good and can care about you without expecting that you—”

Your back hit the wall as Bucky’s weight pressed to your chest. His lips crashed against yours, his hand slipping into your hair. Everything in him moved with purpose, with adrenaline spiked into his veins and fury in his bones – but not his hands. Even as his lips hungrily devoured yours, his hands were gentle as they caressed the nape of you neck, as they slid down your hips.

What surprised you more – was that you kissed him back. Your hand clutched into the thin fabric of his t-shirt, your lips parting for him as he brushed him tongue over yours. It was the kind of kiss that left you feel dizzy – like you’d been under for too long, your lungs aching, and still you had no desire for air.

When he finally did draw back, it was only when he was breathless. His chest panting in time with yours, his forehead dipping to rest against your collarbone. He paused for a moment, even as his fingers gently pressed into the nape of your neck as if upon keys of a piano.

“I don’t know why I did that,” Bucky confessed.

You chuckled. “I do.”

He lifted his head and you smiled when you saw his lips were pink and swollen. You brushed a hand over his cheek.

“Because even when I hated you, I still cared about you, Barnes. It’s not black and white. It’s messy and it’s grey. But I can handle a little mess, can’t you?”

Bucky swallowed, slow to the smile that crept upon his lips, but still—it came. “Yeah, I can handle messy.”

When he kissed you again, he didn’t hesitate.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #drabble night

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margarethx · 2 years

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Okay... this might be a controversial opinion, but I find it pretty weird and unrealistic when people write Bucky as if he was this weirdly progressive Gen Z kid who’s entirely up-to-date when it comes to using politically correct terms and phrasing. Like... I don’t want him to just be blatantly offensive and throw some slurs around like it’s nothing. I also don’t want him to do anything bad deliberately or be malicious about it, hiding behind “I was raised like that” excuse. But, from my point of view, it doesn’t make sense for him to be fully understanding of everything that changed since the 1940s... because a lot has changed and he wasn’t given much time to even start processing that.

(It’s even shown in tfatws that he’s not really aware how to behave when the police stops him and Sam in the middle of an argument, so I’m not just making this up about him.)

I kind of wish more people would try to make him at least a little bit... confused. It’s not like being gay was invented in 2007 and many people knew that “racism is bad” long before any huge movements against it started, but living in such bigoted times for the entirety of his youth had to have an effect of him. And I feel like a lot of people who like Bucky are afraid of mentioning this aspect of him, because it would destroy his idealized image. But let’s be real. A man born before women had voting rights in the US would not just wake up in the 21st century and go write essays about the complexities of gender expression.

And I also think that this lack of knowledge would at some point affect his relationship with Sam. Because it’s pretty likely that one day Bucky would just casually use some outdated term that sounds inappropriate for someone more familiar with the current way of speaking. And he might also have some problems with falling in love with another man (let alone a Black one, because Bucky was still stuck in Syberia, or whatever, when the US legalized interracial marriages, so a relationship like this one could never happen in the 1930s for more than one reason).

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As I always clarify: I do not expect casual fanfiction writers to deal with heavy topics and do a ton of research to make everything realistic and serious. If you want to write about two guys who fall in love and nothing (except for their stupidity) stands in the way... go for it! If you don’t feel like a right person to tackle difficult issues like these it’s even better if you wait a little until you’re more skilled to try or if you stick to lighthearted one-shots about fake dating. These are good too. I love them.

(Also, many people like fanfiction, because it can give you this fake reality, where things like internalized homophobia don’t exist and everything is nice. Sometimes you’re just not in the mood to read about social issues in your romance about fictional people. I’m often not.)

I just think it would be pretty interesting to see a version of Bucky that does not constatnly act like a leftist Twitter user, age sixteen, because I highly doubt Hydra gave him regular updates on progressive vocabulary. (I had over two decades to learn about all of that and I still have huge gaps in my knowledge. Meanwhile, Bucky had maybe two years of barely normal life and I don’t think that being politically correct was at the forefront of his mind. Also: it gets more complicated if you speak multiple languages. Vocabulary differs. I’d know – referring to gender and gender-realted issues in English is nothing alike compared to the language I normally use. There are opinions that seem progressive here, but would look obsolete or weird for Americans.)

To be clear... I don’t mean that Sam should be forced to teach him everything, however, if they’re spending so much time together it would make sense for him to sometimes hear what Bucky’s saying and, jokingly or not, be like: “okay, you shouldn’t say that; they’ll kick you out of Delacroix”. I even believe that something like holding hands with Sam in public and being openly affectionate in front of other people could be an issue for a while, because Bucky’d be too nervous (for reasons explained previously) and they’d need to work through that together.

(Seeing Sam’s behaviour towards Bucky in tfatws I’d assume he’d be reasonably understanding and patient about it, but wouldn’t just let him do and say whatever he wants. Mostly to have a healthy relationship with Bucky, but also because both of them are public figures.)

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By the way... I’d also love to see more stories where Sam has some issues with, for instance, accepting his sexuality (there are a few reasons why he would struggle with that, for example: his dad being very religious – which is canon in the comics, him being from the South – which is canon in the MCU, him hiding his relationship with Riley in the military – which is canon in my heart, etc.). Or stories where Sam is a little confused about how the language evolved during the Blip and those two years he spent in hiding... But that’s a topic for another discussion.

#james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #sam wilson #samuel thomas wilson #winter soldier #white wolf #captain america sam wilson #captain america #the falcon #sambucky #sam x bucky #winterfalcon #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #mcu #marvel

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softscummymammon · 3 years

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€Male Hashira React to Their MALE S/O Coming Out As Asexual€

••Part 1 ||→ Giyu, Rengoku, Obanai

••Part 2||→Sanemi, Gyomei, Tengen

→+*:;;:*Demon Slayer Headcanon*:;;:*+←

I have decided not to do Muichiro because of the context that he is 14 years old. Due to this, I will not be adding him to the fic. Though this is about asexuality, and therefore the lack of sex, it is still considered wrong to me.

←Sanemi Shinazugawa→

Really, you were kinda shitting your pants at the idea of coming out to Sanemi. You know he's only abrasive and stubborn because of his past, but sometimes reading him is like asking Gyomei what color shirt you should wear.

Aka, pretty much impossible.

But you both were in a committed relationship, and you didn't want to feel like you were leading him on. There is also the possibility of him feeling like you had higher expectations. Knowing how that feels, you never wanted your boyfriend to feel like that.

So, deciding to get this over with and be blunt, which really is the only way you can approach this like this with Sanemi, you sat him down after his afternoon training. When he heard your voice and how serious you were, he made no move to object beside the occasional grumble.

His normally scowly face turned inquisitive as you sat at the chabudai. He sat across from you and asked what you needed him for. Steeling yourself, you tell him you're asexual, and have no or little desire to have any sexual activity. Making sure Sanemi didn't blame himself was key. Otherwise, he'd blame himself.

His face blanks for a second, then he asks if he made you uncomfortable in anyway. You tell him no, that you trust him to control himself, but some touches just can't happen. Sanemi starts to get a little irritated and asks then what is comfortable to you then? You try to calmly explain that cuddles are fine, soft touches on the shoulders, arms and head are fine, kisses too, as long as it doesn't get too heated.

Sanemi takes a few breaths, but explains to you that he has needs too; sexual needs he wanted to carry out with you since you're special to him. You can't help the tears that start to fall, but Sanemi is quick to sit by your side and wipe them away. He's cursing himself out and telling you he's sorry while you're trying to say you understand and feel sorry you're limiting the his show of love.

It gets so hectic, Sanemi leans forward and head butts you. Nothing like that brat did to him, but it was enough to catch your attention. He firmly apologizes for any misstep he took, and shushes you when you trying interrupting him. He carries on saying his love for you can be expressed in more ways than sex ever could, so he'll just have to get creative. Sanemi loves you dearly, and he doesn't want his lack of self control to be the end what the beautiful thing you both had.

So, he does. Whenever he gets that urge he'll leave and deal with it, then come back and pamper you till you both fall asleep or take a nap. He's still weary about how he touches you, but confident hands on your part will ease his hesitancy. Sanemi also becomes super over protective. He'd glare and growl at anyone that gets too close.

He can't grope you like he would have done originally. So, to combat those people that can't seem to think through their brains, he uses his wind breathing style to quite literally blow them away.

←Himejima Gyomei→

Trust and commitment was always an issue of Gyomei. But once he opens himself up, he is unwavering in his care. He loves you dearly, and he takes this relationship seriously. So why have you been avoiding him?

Gyomei sighed heavily and settled down near the water stream. Thinking over the day within his memories, he recounted how you seemed to have been anxious. Himejima may not be able to see, but he can hear your emotions clear as day, your anxious heart and breathing.

The water rushing through the stream eased him slightly, but the memory of your fear put him on edge. He never liked when you felt anything negative. Himejima always wanted to hear that smile on your face and laugh in your speech.

Standing up, Gyomei listened for your heart beat and followed it towards your shared home. Ever since this relationship became serious, you both decided living in Gyomei's home was the best idea since it had more medical supplies and felt more lived in. So it was an easy walk he figured out leads to the training area in the back of the house.

Opening a sliding door that leads to the Zen garden you helped him plant, he found you setting next to the water fountain you both had chosen as an added on feature. Sitting down next to you, he heard you sigh and felt you lean into his side. Gyomei wrapped a careful hand around your waist and let you get whatever was bothering you out your self.

Mustering up your confidence, you suddenly blurt out that you believe you are asexual. He pauses and let's the thought wash over him, trying to remember where he had heard that term before. Now that he recalled, one of the many older children he had helped before becoming a demon slayer had confided with him about the exact same thing.

With a careful voice, he addressed your rising nervousness, " Sex was never my end goal with you, my Rock. My only goal that I ever had was to make you happy. If you believe that sex would only ever make you uncomfortable, or that being sexually active on a regular basis is unnecessary, then I will do whatever it takes to love you thoroughly another way. "

He embraced you that night, feeling the coolness of the sun slowly setting behind the hills. Gyomei held you close to his chest as he rocked you back and forth, setting a firm, callused, yet somehow soft hand on the back of your neck to keep you still and comfort you.

Himejima no longer tolerated you being around people that he could tell made you uncomfortable. He knew all too well how dangerous and capable you could be when you wanted to, but he also wanted to get that feeling of accomplishment when he successfully guarded you away from those he knew where only trying to get with you for something other than your opinion. Besides, it was rather easy to just walk up behind them and set a hand on their shoulder to scare them off.

← Tengen Uzui→

To say that you were nervous with your most recent, yet blatantly obvious, discovery was an understatement. Being with Uzui was a whole other thing in on its own, and you had to overcome hurdles like any couple to be together. For one, it was rather odd to you that he already had three wives, beautiful women that could give him anything he wanted, yet he still chose to date you.

It unnerved you, a little. Though it was common in your home country that having multiple married partners was common, you always felt like you were encroaching on their daily lives.

But, they always made a show of accepting you. Even going as far as to invite you to their gatherings and trips to the city for shopping and sight seeing. You had an amazing time with them, but you can never get away from their....steamy stories. They always got blushy when recalling their first times with Tengen. It never ceased to make you uncomfortable, and they would always tease you about having to excuse your self when the topic of their sex lives came up.

Now that you thought back on it, it was glaringly obvious how you came up with your discovery in sexuality. Though it was already said, you were nervous. Nervous about what Uzui would think, about how his wives would think, and your standing in the relationship would turn. If you even had a relationship after this to begin with.

But, this needed to come out, and you don't think you'd be able to continue to live in a relationship where you couldn't be yourself. So, you had called them all in. It was a lot more intimidating than you would have imagined it to be. All four of them sat around the table with you, each had a different expression on their face.

Tengen set a firm hand on your thigh, trying to give you a supporting hold, but it only made your nerves stand on end. Taking a deep breath, you took his hand into your own and lifted it to sit firmly on the table. Tengen blinked in surprise, as did Suma, Hinatsuru, and Makio.

Deciding to not beat around the bush this time, you tell your recent discovery about being asexual. The silence given afterwards was very...tense. They looked in between each other for quite sometime, likely having a silent convention you weren't privy to even try and understand. It started to get suffocating, and it felt like you couldn't breathe.

You quickly made your way out of their. Standing up quickly and getting out of the room despite your name being called out by four other voices. Getting to your room within Uzui's home, you close the door and lock the door. Going to your futon, you breathe deeply in and out while tears stream down your face.

Footsteps made you freeze. And a soft whisper of your name made you look up towards your door. Hearing a slight thump, you can only imagine as Tengen sits against the locked door and calls out your name again. Sighing, you get up and sit on the other side of the door, giving him a chance to hear you.

Uzui makes sure you're okay before telling you that he was sorry. He explained that he didn't mean for allowing your anxieties to eat away at you like they did, and expressed his wish to be able to help you with them like a good partner should. He tells you that he loves you no matter what, and Makio, Suma, and Hinatsuru agree. He didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with his touch either, and his wives apologize for not seeing how uncomfortable you were listening to them talk about their past experiences.

Listening to them, you could hear that they were genuine. So, you stood up and unlocked the door, immediately getting engulfed in a hug by the man himself. Sighing, you felt so much better for being accepted. Leaning into his embrace, you were swept off your feet with a yell and layed down on your futon where he and his partners cuddled up around you.

<————««➹𓆉➷»»————>

#anime headcanons #demon slayer headcanons #kinetsu no yaiba #head canons #x asexual reader #asexual headcanons #kny x male reader #male hashira #kny hashira #sanemi shinazugawa #uzui tengen #gyomei himejima

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deadendtracks · 2 years

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I always hear this very *sexist* take about how Lizzie was "obsessed" with Tommy when that’s not even the true. Lizzie was minding her own business in S1 doing her job and from S2 finale to S3 she was on her own relationship, alright, dating a member of a rival gang wasn’t smart but she wasn’t thinking of Tommy at all. Let’s talk instated about Tommy's obsession WITH LIZZIE. Lizzie was going to marry John on S1 – he offered and it was probably the best choice for her to get out of that work situation. It was Tommy that had to insert himself in the situation and ruin it for her. The reason as to why he did that are unclear to me. He didn’t want his brother to marry the prostitute he was seeing? He wanted control? He didn’t want Lizzie to stop sleeping with him? All of the above? We will never know. The Angel situation escalated because of John's weird protective behavior towards Lizzie that was later encouraged by Tommy. It has been obviously clear that Tommy always looked at Lizzie for sex, not the other way around, it was mutual. Even on the time skip between S3 and S4 it was clear that they weren’t sleeping together and he was hiring other women for it. It was him that initiated their fwb behavior again. It wasn’t Lizzie pursuing him in an obsessive behavior. The only instance when she might have got a bit too far was the whole May interaction and still it wasn’t that serious. An episode prior Tommy himself was gently kissing her and maybe getting her hopes up. She got jealous and lashed out, that’s normal. Tommy has been petty in multiple occasions too. His possessive behavior on S5 as well because I don’t think he would’ve gotten this petty if Mosley didn’t bring out the fact that he might or might have not slept with Lizzie before. He needed to "lay his claim" with Lizzie because of his own paranoid tendencies which is exactly what he did with Campbell – calling him to let him know he was sleeping with Grace again out of pettiness.

It’s so weird when people label Lizzie’s love for Tommy as obsessive when it has never been that way. She loved him (more than he probably deserved) but she always stood clear in what exactly their relationship was about. The whole "she got pregnant just to trape him" it’s like so wrong in who Lizzie is as a character. She knows Tommy more than anyone (even sometimes Polly). She might have let herself hope for a happy life with Tommy but she has never been manipulative and Tommy knows this about her.

I don't think Lizzie is obsessed with Tommy, and agree with you that there are some very sexist takes on her out there. At the same time, I do think Lizzie was in love with him for a long time despite the fact that he was not in love with her, and there are some interesting comments from Natasha O'Keeffe in the Peaky Blinders book about Lizzie's motivations, which have a lot to do with survival. Of course portions of fandom twist this to make her out to be some kind of gold-digging harpy, but I don't see it that way at all. From their interactions in s2 I do think a big part of it was probably that Tommy was kinder to her than other Johns (not excusing Tommy's behavior at all, but you get the sense that they were on pretty friendly terms by s2).

Where I very much disagree with you is that I don't think Tommy was obsessed with Lizzie at all.

Tommy's motivations for steering John away from marrying Lizzie had nothing to do with his own relationship with Lizzie, imo, and more to do with a) the fact that it was pretty clear John couldn't deal with her past given his reaction to the idea of people calling her a whore -- and this is probably more about the idea of John fighting anyone who looked at Lizzie askance and having to deal with the problems that would create rather than Lizzie's sake and b) he'd already come up with the plan to seal an alliance with the Lees via marriage. It was fairly obvious that what John was looking for was a wife to take care of his children more than any one person in particular -- in other words, he didn't really care that much about Lizzie herself.

So yeah, I actually think Tommy's reasons are pretty clear in context, and have nothing to do with whatever he feels about Lizzie in s1, which I doubt is much.

Tommy didn't encourage John's jealousy about Lizzie, what Tommy did was come down hard on the Changrettas in order to snuff out what he sees as rebellion against Shelby power. He says so, in the scene with John and Polly and Arthur. Again, it has nothing to do with Lizzie herself and everything to do with having to deal with the consequences of what John had done. This plan backfired tragically on him, but his motivation was to end the war John had provoked, not support John's jealous pursuit of Angel.

I do think we can't downplay Lizzie's jealousy over May, though. Yeah, parts of fandom will be dicks about it, but it's an important part of her character. I don't think this makes her obsessive; but it is a sign of how her feelings have been impacted by Tommy's on again-off again attitude towards her. And I don't really think Tommy had ever made her any promises (at the time) beyond fucking, so this is a hope Lizzie is bringing to the situation. Tommy appears fairly oblivious to how she feels about him for a lot of the series so I don't think he had the intention to hurt her -- but he doesn't particularly take her feelings into consideration either. Again, this doesn't excuse him; he definitely feels that because she was a sex worker in the past he doesn't have to treat her with the circumspect care he would a Grace or May, where protecting her reputation/propriety is something he takes seriously.

But yeah I agree with you that her jealousy there was normal given the situation. And I agree that Tommy himself has a petty streak, though I'm not sure it's about jealousy really.

And I definitely don't think she got pregnant to trap him (another misogynistic trope) though I do think she had a hope that when she told him about it he would ask her to marry him, rather than tell her he'd pay for an abortion or buy her a house. She did appear to be disappointed there, but I think this is because at the time she was still in love with him.

I don't think she's been manipulative ever, but I do think her line about how you have to take what you want is very important to her character arc -- and I think it's something she learned from Tommy, which makes it interesting, because what she wanted and took was the sort of life that he could give her, despite the fact she knew he would never be 'in love' with her in the storybook way I think she'd hoped for earlier on in their relationship. The thing is I do think he loved her, just not in a romantic way

#peaky blinders #meta

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sankyeom · 4 years

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let’s play pretend | l.jh

pairings: lee jaehyun x reader (she/her/hers pronouns, reader wears a dress at one point, which isn’t specific to women but i realised it might not suit your style so sorry about that) genre: fake dating au, friends to lovers, a lot of pining, y’all are both kinda of blind ngl summary: in which your sister’s wedding is right around the corner, and you don’t want to spend the day telling your relatives that your boyfriend cheated on you, so you ask hyunjae to accompany you word count: 6.6k series: sankyeom’s 2k followers celebration

masterlist

When you found out that your boyfriend was cheating on you, you were happy to let him go and completely cut him out of your life. Of course it was a huge blow to your confidence that he had decided to cheat on you; relationships were supposed to make you feel comfortable and supported, not lied to and betrayed. However, you were lucky to have some pretty amazing friends that helped you through it all.

The only problem was that when your sister sent out her wedding invitations, you had told her that you were bringing your ex-boyfriend as a date. This might not sound too bad, but your family loved to pry into your personal life, and you weren’t sure you could handle an entire weekend of questions about why you and your ex were no longer together, along with the pitiful glances you knew they would send you.

You groaned. “I’m literally dreading my sister’s wedding. Isn’t that horrible? I’m the maid of honour, I’m supposed to be excited for her and super supportive. But all I can think about is how miserable my extended family is going to make me.”

Younghoon and Kevin had been listening to your ranting, the three of you cuddled up together on the couch of your apartment. “So bring a date,” Kevin stated the obvious, raising his shoulders and arms in a shrug. “Problem solved.”

“Except, not really,” you denied. “It could work, but I don’t have anyone who’s close enough to me that I wouldn’t have to fake the chemistry and strong bond of a long-term relationship. I don’t think it’d be convincing if I just took anyone and asked them to pretend we’re dating.”

“Then take Hyunjae,” Younghoon suggested, moving his head off of your shoulder to make eye contact with you.

“I guess we have been friends for a long time…” you allowed, thinking it over. You had met Hyunjae in college where you met most of your friends, but the two of you clicked really easily and got along incredibly well. Your humour played really well off of his and you, Hyunjae, and Eric often got up to mischief to the point where you gave Changmin and Sangyeon a headache. “Do you think he’d do it?”

“If he thinks it’ll help you, I don’t see why he wouldn’t,” Younghoon said, grabbing his phone from the coffee table before resting his head on your shoulder again. “Now can we finally agree on what to order for dinner? Waffles for dessert, no discussion.”

Hyunjae’s deep, loud laugh wasn’t what you expected to hear after explaining your predicament to him. After a moment of letting him chortle to himself, he seemed to realise that you weren’t laughing with him, causing his eyes to widen. “Wait, you’re serious?” he exclaimed, sitting up from where he was slouched on your couch and pulling the hood of his sweatshirt off his head.

“This is way too pathetic to joke about,” you retorted, slightly embarrassed at the whole ordeal.

“Let me get this straight,” Hyunjae folded his hands together on his knees. “You want me to go to your sister’s wedding with you and pretend to be your scumbag ex-boyfriend?” At the mention of your ex, an uncharacteristic scowl appeared on Hyunjae’s face.

“No, I want you to come with me to my sister’s wedding and pretend to be yourself, just that we’re dating,” you corrected. “You get to be yourself; name, personality, and all. We’ll just be fibbing about that fact that we’re dating.”

Hyunjae nodded at your words. “Is telling your family really not an option?” he wondered.

You sighed. “I want good memories of my sister’s wedding,” you admitted. “I don’t want the memory of her night to be filled with embarrassment and humiliation from my distant relatives who only have horrible things to say.”

Hyunjae grimaced, familiar with how often you ranted about your harsh your extended family could be. “If it really means that much to you, then I’ll do to,” Hyunjae told you slowly, as if he wasn’t quite sure of himself.

“Really?” you eyes lit up, the relief and excitement in your irises enough to fully convince Hyunjae that he wanted to help you.

“Of course,” Hyunjae smiled, the outer corners of his eyes crinkling adorable like they always did. “When are we going?”

“In three weeks,” you informed him. “Thank you, Hyunjae. I think we’ll actually have fun together! The trip is paid for and it’s a really sweet beach wedding.”

A beach wedding. Hyunjae couldn’t help but think about how romantic a beach wedding was. Getting married surrounded by nature, then spending the evening partying with your friends at the beach… Shaking himself out of his thoughts before he started picturing you in white, Hyunjae cleared his throat and nodded. “That does sound fun. I’ll be there.”

“You’re so screwed,” Eric cackled when Hyunjae told him and Jacob about your sister’s wedding. The three of them had gone for dinner after Hyunjae left your apartment, Hyunjae citing it as a way for him to clear his head and talk. Jacob nudged their youngest friend, although the smile on his face indicated that he somewhat agreed with Eric’s sentiment.

“What are you talking about?” Hyunjae asked.

Eric rested his elbows on the table. “You and Y/n are going on a romantic beach getaway together-“

“It’s her sister’s wedding, not a romantic beach getaway,” Hyunaje corrected.

“Whatever it is, you shoot hearts out of your eyes whenever you’re around her,” Eric reminded his older friend, causing Hyunjae to shut his mouth for a moment to actually listen. “You can barely keep it to yourself when she’s in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Do you really think you won’t be obvious about it when you see her in a beautiful dress, walking down the aisle?” Eric asked, an amused smile on his lips.

Hyunjae pondered his point. “I mean… It’s not like she’s the bride.”

“You’ve never been to a wedding with a partner before, have you?” Jacob realised. Hyunjae nodded. “Whether or not Y/n’s the bride doesn’t make a difference. Surrounded by the flowers and the ceremony… watching a couple confess their deepest feelings for one another and commit to each other for life…” Jacob trailed off, and Hyunjae could see what he was getting at.

“Oh,” he breathed out, speechless. Even after their food arrived and Jacob and Eric dug into their meals, Hyunjae was still staring blankly into space. It took Jacob nudging him gently, handing him his cutlery, and telling him to eat before Hyunjae snapped out of it. “I don’t want to slip up and confess to Y/n,” Hyunjae said after they had each eaten some of their meals.

“What’s the worst thing that could happen, even if you do confess?” Eric challenged.

“Well, if I confess, Y/n could reject me and I might ruin our friendship and make things really awkward until we drift apart and she’s out of my life all together,” Hyunjae said easily, as if this was on his mind frequently.

Eric paused his eating, “Damn, that does sound pretty bad. I have no idea what I’d do if I were you,” he admitted, looking incredulously at his older friend.

Hyunjae gave him a frustrated look, as if Eric’s comment hadn’t put Hyunjae at ease but made him even more worried.

“You don’t have to feel pressured to confess or not confess,” Jacob assured Hyunjae. “You guys can just have a fun weekend trip together as friends. It’s not a big deal. The ceremony is going to be very emotional and that might be tricky for you, but the rest of it should be a breeze. You guys have been good friends since college, I’m sure you can get through a friendly weekend together.”

Jacob’s words were far more comforting and assuring than Eric’s. Hyunjae took his words to heart and agreed, allowing the three of them to properly get to their dinner. A cloud of doubt still obscured Hyunjae’s thoughts, but he did his best to push them to the back of his mind. He had decided to help you, and he knew that he could get through it without messing anything up between the two of you.

Or, at least he hoped he could.

The Friday before your sister’s wedding, you swung by Hyunjae’s place to pick him up for your flight. You would be spending three nights at the beach, all paid for by your sister and her fiancé, returning back home on Monday after they married on Sunday afternoon. When you arrived at Hyunjae’s place, he was already waiting for you outside in a black hoodie and grey sweatpants, looking comfortable for the plane ride. He smiled when he noticed you, even taking the time to excitedly wave his neck cushion in the air at the sight of your car.

“Mr Lee Jaehyun?” you asked, rolling down the window so he could hear you. “I’ve been sent to pick you up.”

“Sorry,” Hyunjae said with a small shrug, making his way to your car. “I’m actually waiting for my girlfriend. We’re going to a wedding together this weekend.”

You laughed at his way of getting into character, unlocking your doors to let him hop into the passenger seat of your car. He tossed his duffel bag into the back seat with yours. “I guess I’m going to have to get used to that,” you mused. “Calling you my boyfriend and being called your girlfriend.”

“I guess so,” Hyunjae grinned. “Unless you want to tell your family that you picked me up on the plane ride?”

You burst into more laughter at his words. “Sure,” you joked. “I can tell them that you’re married and have two kids but I just had to have you, so I seduced you by giving you my in-flight snacks in hopes that you’d be my date.”

“That doesn’t sound bad,” Hyunjae admitted. “I’ll take your snacks as payment.”

“No way,” you denied, driving towards the airport after Hyunjae had his seatbelt on. “You’re getting a beach weekend with your favourite person in the whole world as payment.”

Hyunjae sat up straight, clapping his hands together in excitement. “Jacob’s coming too?!” he exclaimed.

You gasped. “I’m so telling Eric that you said Jacob’s your favourite.”

“Like Juyeon isn’t his favourite anyway,” Hyunjae physically swatted your words away with a scoff. You grinned at this, knowing that Hyunjae and Eric were two peas in a pod.

The plane ride was fun enough; you and Hyunjae spent the first half hour of the flight playing games and trying not to irritate the passengers around you too much, until the both of you got tired and eventually fell asleep. Hyunjae had let you rest your head on his shoulder and the two of you shared a blanket that you had brought with you, knowing how much Hyunjae hated the plane blankets.

By the time the both of you woke up, you had taken a nice nap and already arrived in Jeju Island. You took the car that your sister had sent for you and made your way to the hotel where everyone was staying. Your flight had been in the afternoon, so by the time you arrived at the hotel, it had already gotten dark. Once your sister spotted you, she squealed in excitement and pulled you into a hug.

“I missed you!” she told you, genuinely meaning it. The two of you hadn’t lived in the same city ever since she finished college six years before you, and it was getting harder and harder to make time to see each other. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Of course I’m here,” you rolled your eyes, pulling away from her tight grip. “You’re getting married, I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

Your sister winked at you before giving Hyunjae her attention. “You must be the boyfriend,” she said, holding her hand out for Hyunjae to shake.

He took her hand, giving her his best smile as he introduced himself. Even though your sister was getting married and completely in love with her fiancé, you could see the way she was instantly smitten by Hyunjae’s sweet smile and voice. He simply had that effect on people.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m so glad you could make it, too! Y/n’s been avoiding all of my questions about you recently so I’ll just have to grill you myself,” your sister joked.

Hyunjae laughed nervously. Even though he wasn’t really your boyfriend, he still wanted your sister to like him. The two of you had always been close, and it was important to Hyunjae that he get your family’s approval.

“If you have time,” you corrected your sister. “It’s your wedding weekend, don’t count on having so much spare time to interrogate Hyunjae,” you added, giving Hyunjae a reassuring smile.

“I’ll make time,” you sister replied, giving you one last hug before rushing off to tend to something the wedding planner was asking her about.

You and Hyunjae decided to take her absence as a chance to check in at the front desk. The concierge gave you two keys for your room, and you followed the numbers on the doors until you could see your room. As you entered, you couldn’t help but think about how lovely the room was. It was open and bright, windows cracked just enough for the breeze from the ocean to waft throughout the space freely.

There was only one problem.

“One bed?” Hyunjae stammered, the large queen-sized bed being the first thing he spotted.

“Oh,” you hadn’t given it much thought when you came in, instead taking the time to step out onto the balcony and admire the night view of the ocean. “Well, I was with my ex for almost a year so… I guess my sister thought this would be okay,” you explained. “I don’t mind sharing.”

“Oh that’s fine,” Hyunjae smiled, placing his duffel bag on the floor under the desk. “I’ll sleep on the sofa,” he decided, taking a seat on said sofa.

It looked big enough for him to sleep on, but you didn’t think it was necessary. “Really, I don’t mind,” you repeated. “This bed is huge. And I know that you don’t have any weird sleep habits that I need to worry about.”

“I insist,” Hyunjae said, lying down on the sofa and stretching out to demonstrate. “See! I fit perfectly.”

You bit your bottom lip. You didn’t realise that the idea of sleeping in the same bed as you was something that Hyunjae was so against. The two of you had been friends for years, and you considered Hyunjae one of your closest friends amongst Younghoon and Kevin.

You supposed it meant that Hyunjae was uncomfortable with the idea of you interpreting his actions as romantic instead of platonic; which you understood. You didn’t realise it would hurt so much to realise that Hyunjae didn’t see you romantically at all.

To hide this, you gave Hyunjae a shrug and sat down on the bed. “I propose that we order room service, watch a few movies, and leave the meeting of the extended family until tomorrow,” you suggested. “Thoughts?”

Having already closed his eyes, Hyunjae hummed in agreement. “Sounds good,” he said sleepily. “I’ll take whatever burger they have.”

You nodded, taking out the room service menu and flipping through it.

One overly large meal and two movies later, Hyunjae had trudged off into the bathroom to get ready for bed once you were done. You took your phone out to check your social media and found that your sister had also spent the night in for the most part; according to her Snapchat story. She and her fiancé had a similar evening to your and Hyunjae, except they shared a romantic bath amongst other things in their suite.

You laughed suddenly. “Hey Jae,” you called out to Hyunjae. “Have you ever had the urge to see what Eric and Sunwoo look like dancing salsa? Because if the answer is yes, you have to see Changmin’s Snapchat story,” you added.

Hyunjae emerged from the bathroom in his pyjamas, taking a seat next to you on the bed as you showed him the footage. The two of you giggled together, fondly making fun of your friends as you fabricated funny texts to send to the youngest two. Soon, the two of you had comfortably burrowed yourselves under the covers in the bed, yawning.

“You really don’t have to sleep on the sofa,” you told Hyunjae once more, just in case he changed his mind.

Hyunjae smiled timidly, shaking his head before pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he stood up. “I should get to sleep,” he said in lieu of an answer, making his way over to the sofa.

With a quiet sigh, you nodded and tucked yourself into bed alone, turning the lights off after sharing a good night.

You woke up with a start, having experienced a pretty weird dream you couldn’t recall anymore. Sitting up, you looked around to gage your surroundings and found Hyunjae shivering on the couch as he flinched and mumbled in his sleep.

Realising that he was having a bad dream, you quietly got out of bed and collected the blanket you brought from home to use on the plane from where it sat in your bag. Kneeling next to the sofa, you covered Hyunjae with the blanket over the thin sheet he had as a blanket to warm him up better. Then, you gently combed your fingers through his hair until he stopped shivering and his expression softened to a peaceful smile.

Fatigued, you trudged back to your bed and soon fell back asleep.

The next morning, Hyunjae woke up to the sound of the shower running. Sitting up, he realised that you weren’t in your bed and connected the dots in his tired state. Rubbing his eyes, he felt around the sofa for his phone an realised that a soft blanket was covering the sheets he was using last night. Realising that you had covered him after he had fallen asleep, a smile appeared on his lips.

The thought of you going out of your way to make him more comfortable caused butterflies to rise in his stomach. Hyunjae leaned back against the sofa, letting out something like a giggle as giddy emotions overwhelmed him. Your scent on the blanket was so comforting that he could have fallen back asleep again. Instead, he got up to make your bed along with his, and stepped out onto the balcony to look at the view.

“Morning,” you soon joined Hyunjae outside, your hair wet from your shower as you were dressed in your clothes for the day. Most of the day would be spent during the wedding rehearsal and other family activities, so you had put on a semi-formal little blue dress so you would be set for the evening as well.

“You look nice,” Hyunjae complimented in return, opening his arms for a hug. You chuckled, stepping into his arms and wrapping your arms around his waist. After being friends with Hyunjae for years, you knew that he was always in the mood for skinship in the morning when he was still waking up. “What’s the occasion?” he joked, perfectly well knowing the occasion was your sister’s wedding preparations.

“You’re hilarious,” you replied, pulling away and admiring the view during the day for the first time. “You should wash up. We have to be at brunch soon, and my family is going to be so much worse if we’re late.”

Hyunjae nodded, going to wash up. Knowing that he wouldn’t have the chance to change for the rehearsal dinner that evening, Hyunjae decided on a pair of jeans and a more formal shirt so that he didn’t stick out too much amongst your family.

For the majority of the day, you had helped your sister with her wedding rehearsal because you were the maid of honour. Hyunjae stuck around for a while to help, but you soon sent him off to have fun at the beach or do something else, feeling guilty that he was just sitting there helplessly. Once rehearsals were over and it was time for the rehearsal dinner, you and Hyunjae trailed off to the dining room, giggling as you kept trying to tickle each other.

“You guys are so cute,” your sister pouted when you entered. “Seriously. I can’t believe we’ve never met Hyunjae,” she added. “I mean, I’ve heard about you since Y/n went to college and yet this is the first time we’re introduced.”

“That’s my fault,” Hyunjae said. “I’m horribly shy.” Even after meeting once, your sister could tell this wasn’t true, earning a loud laugh out of her.

“Y/n,” one of your cousins greeted. You and Hyunjae had just taken your seats to eat at the large table your sister and her fiancé were to sit on the evening of their wedding. “Is this that boyfriend your mother’s been telling me about?” she asked. You greeted her, and the rest of your family, before confirming her question. “It’s so nice to meet you! After all this time, none of us have ever met you. Even the ones that live in Seoul…” she trailed off, eyeing Hyunjae with curiosity.

That’s because Y/n says you’re old-fashioned, rude, judgemental jerks, Hyunjae thought to himself, masking his thoughts with a smile and a vague introduction. “My job keeps me pretty busy,” he said vaguely.

“Of course,” your cousin nodded, her tone disbelieving. As dinner was served, you couldn’t help but laugh as Hyunjae confusedly used all the different sets of cutlery for all the wrong reasons. It didn’t matter to you at all, and the surprised looks from your family were priceless as well.

“Here,” you handed him the outermost fork. “You work your way in to your plate with each course,” you explained.

Hyunjae only smiled, grabbing onto your hand. “What would I do without you?”

“The two of you are just precious!” One of your favourite aunts exclaimed as she passed by. “How did the two of you meet?” she asked, smiling encouragingly.

“At college,” you told her simply, not having come up with a fake story beforehand. This was one of the reasons that you had invited Hyunjae; the two of you had a history and connection that you didn’t have to lie about. You only fibbed a little about the nature of your relationship.

Hyunjae laughed. “That’s a story you won’t want to miss,” he said, inviting your aunt to sit in the vacant seat next to him. “The first time I met Y/n was in the coffee shop on campus,” Hyunjae began. “I saw her leave a textbook in the cafe when she left. Later she came back for it and I told her that I had seen her and held onto it in case she came back.”

“How romantic,” a different aunt of yours cooed.

Hyunjae shook his head, an amused glint in his eyes as he remembered the story. “That’s what I thought,” he said, remembering how badly he wished for you to return so he had an excuse to talk to you. “I told her that the only way she could have her textbook back was if she agreed to go on a date with me,” Hyunjae continued.

You raised an eyebrow at this. You had always thought that when Hyunjae said he wanted to get coffee with you that day, it was a casual invitation. Now that you thought about it, you could have interpreted it as a date as well. You wondered what Hyunjae thought it was.

“She told me I could keep the book,” Hyunjae added, making your family complain around you. “She left and I held onto her book, hoping that she’d change her mind. A month later, I get a call from the University library saying that Y/n’s book was rented and that I owed them $100 for keeping it past the rented time.”

You laughed at this, remembering how you had purposely let Hyunjae keep the book to teach him a lesson about ultimatums. This caused all of your family to scold you. Still, they were completely hooked onto Hyunjae’s story.

“Eventually, Y/n found out about the $100 I had to pay and felt bad. So, she reached out to me and said that she wanted to pay me back because she didn’t realise how much the fee would be. I told her that I’d just settle on getting to know her better. The rest is history,” Hyunjae finished, looking proud of the way he had intrigued your relatives.

“I don’t like ultimatums,” you defended yourself. “I thought I should teach you a lesson for trying to force a poor girl to go out with you.”

“Lesson learned,” Hyunjae nodded. “Now, I’ll only ever force you to go out with me,” he winked. You felt your face warm at this, your family’s attention on the two of you not helping with your embarrassment. Somehow, Hyunjae was perfectly executing his position of fake boyfriend; so well that even you were momentarily convinced by his act.

“Alright, let’s stop hounding them,” your sister interrupted, taking her seat with her fiancé in tow. “Hyunjae, I’m glad that you didn’t give up on my sister,” she added, sending him an encouraging wink. Hyunjae smiled at her, pleased that your family seemed to warm up to him.

As the evening went on, your sister pulled you aside to speak with you in private. “Hyunjae is way sweeter and funnier than you described,” she admitted to you.

“Really?”

“Yes!” she exclaimed. “Plus he’s really handsome. He has very honest eyes,” she added thoughtfully. “When he sees you, he gets little sparkles in his eyes. Like he can’t believe the treasure he’s looking at.”

You scoffed. “I highly doubt that,” causing your sister to nudge you with her elbow.

“Trust me. I’m about to be a married woman,” she said with an air of wisdom that made you smile. “Hyunjae has it bad for you. I’m just glad he’s not as vacant as you described him to be.”

You had indeed described your ex boyfriend to your sister in detail. And of course you knew that Hyunjae was everything your ex wasn’t: warm, playful, inviting, charming, open; you could go on for days about all the amazing qualities you saw in Hyunjae that you wanted in a partner.

By the time dinner was over, you, Hyunjae, and most of the people at the rehearsal dinner were just a little bit tipsy. You and Hyunjae were mostly just a little bit buzzed, easily making your way back to your hotel room without any trouble or confusion. “That was fun,” you said, lying down on the bed as soon as you arrived. Hyunjae helped you with your shoes before he followed suit, lying down next to you on the bed. “I can’t remember the last time I actually had fun around my extended family.”

Hyunjae smiled. “I’m really glad you had a good time.”

You turned to face him, seeing him already watching you with his head propped up on his hand. Seeing him there, you were reminded of what your sister said about Hyunjae having honest eyes. There was certainly fondness and affection in his eyes, though you couldn’t tell if it was romantic or platonic.

Up until last night, you had never realised you wanted it to be romantic. That evening only seemed to confirm that you did.

“Thank you, Hyunjae,” you whispered. “I genuinely don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t here.”

Hyunjae raised the hand he wasn’t leaning on to brush your hair out of your face. “You would’ve done just fine,” he assured you. “Now let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow’s a long day.”

You nodded, getting up to change into your pyjamas. By the time you returned, Hyunjae had done the same, tucking himself under the covers of the bed. “I hope that offer still stands,” he added, referring to how you said he could join you in the bed.

“Just don’t steal the duvet,” you mumbled, getting under the covers and cuddling up to Hyunjae for comfort. He grinned, reaching around to turn the lights off before wrapping an arm around you and nodding off to sleep.

Your sister was having a meltdown.

You had heard of brides getting cold feet right before the wedding ceremony, but you hadn’t expected it from your sister. You were in your silver silk cami bridesmaid dress, having your hair and makeup done perfectly for the occasion so that your sister was happy with how everything looked. And yet, your control-freak sister was freaking out about the idea of marriage.

“I don’t know if I can commit to someone for my whole life,” she ranted, pacing in her wedding dress as you and her bridesmaids tried to calm her breathing.

“But you love him,” you reminded your sister. “You love him so much that commitment isn’t scary around him,” you added.

“But marriage?” she exclaimed. “I don’t know if I can do it,” your sister stopped her pacing when she spotted your concerned expression. “Do you love Hyunjae?” she inquired.

The question threw you. “W-what?” you stammered.

“Do you love Hyunjae?” she repeated. “Could you do this with him? Commit?”

You thought it over.

You and Hyunjae had a long history of friendship together, but you always knew that your friendship with him was special. Sometimes it felt like you could read each other’s minds. Even though your friend group was extremely large, you always made time for one another and would drop anything to help the other person.

Hyunjae was your rock, somebody who steadied you and helped to point you in the right direction when you were lost. And he was beautiful; not just because he was handsome but because he had a heart of absolute gold. He even agreed to come here and pretend to be your boyfriend just to stop you from having one uncomfortable weekend.

“Of course I love him,” you admitted. It was the first time you had said it out loud to yourself, and you were saying it to your sister and all of her bridesmaids. “Of course I would commit to Hyunjae.”

“Isn’t that scary?” your sister whined. “I would give everything to my fiancé. That scares me.”

“It’s terrifying,” you agree. “But the fact that you’re both here means that your love for one another outweighs the fears and uncertainty. Now are you going to leave him standing here alone or are you going to be with the man you love?”

You weren’t sure who you were talking about anymore.

Hyunjae understood what Jacob was talking about when he said that attending a wedding with the person you love is different.

The moment you walked up the aisle in your silver dress, Hyunjae felt all the air leave his lungs. It almost hurt how stunning you were, and how much Hyunjae wanted to run up to you and kiss you. You smiled at your sister’s guests, winking at Hyunjae as you passed him to stand up by the alter, waiting for your sister. You gave her fiancé encouraging smiles, knowing that he felt nervous about the ceremony too.

Hyunjae was sat somewhere in the middle of the chairs, not wanting to draw too much attention to himself since he didn’t know your sister or her fiancé personally. He had taken a seat with your kind aunt, the one who had asked him how the two of you met the night before, and she could see exactly what Hyunjae was thinking.

“Are you thinking of proposing?” she wondered, causing Hyunjae to choke on air in surprise.

“M-me?” he asked. “Oh. No. Um, not yet,” Hyunjae admitted to your aunt, feeling shy that she had just asked him out of nowhere. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, the way you look at her,” your aunt said, as if this explained everything. “It looks like you’re ready to walk up that aisle to meet her at the alter at any moment.”

“Oh,” Hyunjae blushed a deep red.

Everyone stood for your sister when it was time, compliments and happy sighs filling the room at the sight of her in her wedding gown.

As the wedding proceeded, Hyunjae could feel his eyes filling with tears. Your sister and her fiancé loved each other so openly and intensely. Everything they said perfectly matched what Hyunjae wanted to tell you.

You seemed to be in a similar situation, on the verge of tears because you knew your sister was going to marry the love of your life, and because you knew you had found yours. It was always easy for you to find Hyunjae in a crowd; the two of you were like opposite sides of a magnet, constantly pulling towards each other. You smiled at him, a small laugh leaving your lips when you saw how emotional Hyunjae was getting.

If Hyunjae’s eyes were as honest as your sister said they were, then Hyunjae must have loved you.

“You look so beautiful,” Hyunjae complimented as the two of you danced. Your sister’s wedding reception was in full swing. She had thanked you profusely for helping her through her meltdown, citing the day as the most wonderful in her entire life. Her husband looked at her with so much affection that you felt your heart stutter when your sister returned his every emotion with a single glance.

“Thanks, Hyunjae,” you thanked him. “You look very handsome this evening, too,” you admitted, adjusting your hands around Hyunjae’s shoulders to be more comfortable. “How did you like the ceremony? I hope this weekend wasn’t a total waste for you,” you added.

“Not at all,” Hyunjae shook his head. “I had a lot of fun this weekend. Your sister’s interesting, she’s a lot like you.”

“I hope that’s a compliment,” you joked.

“You are magnificent,” Hyunjae said as seriously as he could. “It’s the highest compliment I could grant her.”

You smiled, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek. “Aw, is that it?” your sister’s familiar voice teased as she and her husband danced next to you and Hyunjae. “Come on, I want to see a real kiss!”

“Dude,” you hissed, embarrassed at her prodding.

“Oh come on,” your sister rolled her eyes. “It’s my wedding day! You can’t say no to a bride on her wedding day, it’s bad luck.”

“Isn’t that only before the wedding?” you changed the subject, not wanting to make Hyunjae uncomfortable. You could see him shuffling his feet as his grip on your waist loosened.

“No, it’s the whole day,” your sister insisted cheekily.

Hyunjae was growing exceedingly nervous. “Excuse me,” he muttered to your sister, bowing his head just slightly before releasing his gentle grip on you and stepping off the dance floor.

You were left alone, surprised by his sudden exit. Your sister and her husband seemed just as startled. “Is he really uncomfortable with PDA?” your sister asked. “I’m sorry, Y/n, I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s fine,” you assured her, giving her what you hoped was a convincing smile. “I’m just going to go check on him. Congratulations again, you two,” you gave them both a hug and followed in Hyunjae’s footsteps. You found him further down by the beach, sitting in the slightly damp sand and staring out into the dark ocean. “Hey,” you greeted, taking a seat next to him. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be,” Hyunjae replied, purposely keeping his eyes trained on the ocean despite seeing you trying to meet his gaze. “It’s fine. You always kissed your ex in front of us, I should have realised that your sister would ask about something like that.”

The mention of your ex boyfriend made you raise an eyebrow. “Right,” you said, discouraged that Hyunjae was acting so cold. “I didn’t realise that the idea of kissing me was so horrible that you had to leave,” you tried to say it as a joke but though your tone gave away how his actions had burned you.

“Don’t joke about that,” Hyunjae said.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t find it funny,” Hyunjae snapped. “Okay? I don’t find it funny that kissing me is a joke to you.”

You backtracked. “Hyunjae, that’s not what I meant.”

“Isn’t it?” Hyunjae asked, finally turning his head to meet your eyes. His usually bright eyes were clouded with negativity; insecurity and sadness prominent in them. “You joke that the idea of kissing you repulses me, when that’s exactly how you feel about me.”

“That’s not true,” you denied immediately. “I would never think that about you, nor would I joke about that, Hyunjae,” you sighed, closing your eyes tightly. The image of Hyunjae being upset with you only made your head spin. “I just said that because I didn’t want you to feel pressured or anything. Of course I don’t hold the fact that you don’t see me romantically against you, I just didn’t know that you were so against it, is all. I guess that’s good to know,” you mumbled.

“You don’t really believe that, do you?” Hyunjae inquired. “After all these years, you can’t possibly think that I don’t have feelings for you.”

Your eyes opened. “Well, you never said anything…” you trailed off. “I’m not one to make assumptions.”

Hyunjae gathered all the courage he had left in him, ignoring the rising beating of his heart. “I’m saying something now.” he said. “And I’m telling you that I’ve loved you since that day you called me to compensate me for the $100 fee I paid the library for your textbook. I loved you then, and I love you now.”

You smiled, leaning in to kiss Hyunjae’s lips. “I love you too, Lee Jaehyun,” you told him as sincerely as you could muster, stroking his cheek with your thumb and relishing in the way his arms came to wrap around you. Hyunjae leaned in to kiss you again, longer this time and with more eagerness than the first time. You felt your lips bruise just slightly at the pressure and duration of your kiss, allowing Hyunjae to pull away so you could both catch your breath.

Hyunjae smiled, pulling you into a hug and pressing a kiss to your nose, cheek, and temple. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to stop pretending to be your boyfriend.”

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulling Hyunjae closer to you, inhaling his scent and memorising the way you felt in his grasp. “I think I’m okay with that.” You sat like that for a while, listening to the ocean waves and letting your hair blow in the breeze.

“Hey Y/n?” Hyunjae asked, earning a hum. “Beach wedding or church wedding?” he asked.

Chuckling, you pull away from the hug to take his face in your hands. Observing his eyes and the way they glittered with love, you shrugged. “Whatever you want.”

note: i feel like this one the cutest one so far but idk. what did you guys think? i hope you enjoyed it!!

#the boyz #the boyz imagines #hyunjae #hyunjae imagines #hyunjae x reader #the boyz x reader #the boyz scenarios #the boyz fanfic #tbznetwork #lee jaehyun #the boyz fic #the boyz fluff #the boyz au #2k celebration #fic: let's play pretend #the boyz drabbles #deobiwritersnet

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

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daddy issues - chapter xii

The one where Ransom doesn’t feel ready to become a father, but he should have thought about it before sleeping with a complete stranger.

When Ransom’s latest one night stand lets him know that he’s going to become a father, he finds himself looking for the qualities he never believed to have so he can become the parent he never got to witness as a child.

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

We had been tucked in for the night for a long time when I felt Ransom’s body twisting and turning in bed. I was almost asleep already, so I didn’t even process it until his arm curled over my body, hand resting over my grown belly to pull me closer to him.

The proximity woke me up a bit in surprise, but then the warmth of his body started to lull me back to slumber, only for him to huff and turn around, leaving me alone once more.

“Huh? No, don’t go…” I whined, blindly reaching behind me in search of the comfort he had provided until his hand caught mine and raised it to his lips so he could kiss my palm.

“You awake?” He whispered, and something in his tone felt almost urgent, instantly wiping the sleepiness from my eyes. I sat up, rubbing them so I could completely focus, worried about the man beside me all of a sudden.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Ransom mirrored my movements, also sitting up in bed before turning his body to face mine. He stayed quiet for a while, seemingly thinking over his words before sighing.

“You don’t want to date me, that’s fine.” The sudden affirmation felt like a punch to the stomach, especially after the night we had shared. Thankfully, he wasn’t done talking and what he said next made it pretty clear where his head was at.

“Move in with me.” It was a breathy suggestion, a blurted-out invitation, but it was obvious that he had thought about this for a while. “These past few days at your parents’ house were incredible. I was able to see so much, be around for so much.”

His eyes fell to my exposed stomach - I didn’t really have any nightwear that was appropriate for my pregnancy, but all the nights we spent together in this bed, he didn’t seem to mind. “I- I want to be able to help you when you want chocolate again.” He chukled. “Please?”

It was silent in the room while I tried to come to terms with what he had asked of me. It’s not that I didn’t like it, I just hadn’t anticipated it at all. It honestly caught me by surprise, so it took me a while to be able to answer.

“Okay.” It was almost frightening, the way my heart warmed at the huge grin that split open Ransom’s face as his eyebrows shot up in surprise. But it reminded me that I had to establish some boundaries straight away.

“Really?” His difficulty to believe it was endearing, as the reasoning he used to try to get me to accept his proposition. He had every right to want to be around for more, be a more active part of the experience of getting his child into the world, as I had the right to keep some boundaries to make me feel comfortable with the entire experience.

But he really had been making the most of it during our trip. And in the time I’d allowed him to dip his feet in the waters of parenthood - or the part of parenthood that involved taking care of me while I was pregnant - he really had rose up to the challenge.

I trusted him a lot more now - enough to grant him even more space to grow and enjoy this experience alongside me.

I couldn’t stop myself from leaning over and depositing a quick kiss on his lips, staying there to brush them with mine for a while longer as I gathered the courage to talk about something I didn’t really want to - particularly after the impromptu kiss.

“Yes, really. I want your help with chocolate too, I’ve been trying to keep my desires at bay for too long,” I jokingly huffed, making an act out of rolling my eyes.

“Have you?” The question had me laughing, and his laughter soon joined mine. It really was no secret how often I had asked him to go buy food for me, and he always did so diligently, with no complaints. So to say that I’d been holding back could only really be seen as a joke.

I wasn’t talking about that though. There was a different type of craving, a specific type of hunger that I hadn’t been able to satiate before this trip, and as much as I didn’t want to voice it and make this the permanent arrangement he was hoping to get out of me, I was happy to have a way to take care of it.

There was just one little thing.

“I do have one condition, though.” That had the amusement disappearing from his eyes quickly, and he straightened out to listen to me with a serious expression I hadn’t expected Ransom Drysdale to be able to pull off when we first met.

“I- You- I’m sorry, Ransom, but I really don’t want to have to deal with you bringing girls home all the time. You can date all you want, don’t get me wrong, I just don’t want to have to share a roof with your one-night stands.” I watched him blink a few times, his hand that was holding mine suddenly freezing as he took in my words and I waited with bated breath.

I knew I was handing him the conditions to negotiate what he insisted he wanted on a silver platter, but I wasn’t ready for that. And I knew he had every right to turn the table on me and make it clear that, if I wasn’t going to give in and get in a relationship with him, I had no right to limit how and where he got involved with the women he dated - not on his own house.

But Ransom really must have grown because all I got was a firm nod - a firm, decided nod.

“I’m okay with that.”

I let out the breath I was holding, closing my eyes momentarily as I thanked the stars, the universe for this outcome. Finally allowing myself to relax again, I laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling in quiet contemplation as Ransom observed me until he decided to join.

I’d never been a fan of the quiet. As a lawyer, I knew its importance, the role it played in getting people to reveal their deepest, darkest secrets - or at least their pressing concerns. So I had the ability to anticipate that, stop myself from spilling out too much and reveal yet another part of my soul to a person who could very well take it and ruin it… but I didn’t.

I remembered that night in his car, when I let him catch a glimpse of what was going through my head, how this whole situation was very much affecting me because of its unusualness. I remembered how relieved he felt at seeing through my mask, if only for a second. So I decided to, just for once, take it off entirely.

“I’m glad you asked me to move in,” I interrupted the silence that had taken over the room. My eyes kept fixated on the ceiling lamp - the same ceiling lamp I’d stared at for so many years, so many moments of teenage angst, never imagining one day I’d do the same next to the father of my child. “I... It makes me feel… protected.”

Ransom’s body rolled to the side, now fully turned to stare at me. His arms were under his head, I could feel his eyes burning my skin. “Ransom…” I breathed out, still trying to think about what I was going to say, thinking of talking myself out of it. Should I really say it? Should I really be this vulnerable in front of a guy who seemed to hate it? “… I’m terrified.”

There. I said it. And in the silence that followed, I felt incredibly comforted by the weight of his head as it fell on my chest, his arms embracing me tightly against his body.

“I’m so happy that we can be terrified together now.”

I hid my laughter on his shoulder, kissing it softly before letting my head fall back against the pillow. My nails absentmindedly drew patterns across Ransom’s back, my mind taking flight as I began to think I’d fall asleep again. Once more, his voice resonated around the room, “So, how do you think we’ll do this?”

It took me a while to understand what he meant, and I didn’t stop caressing him while I thought.

“You mean… co-parenting?” My only response was a soft hum, murmured against my skin. The edges of my lips curled up, fascinated by the idea of Ransom Drysdale anxiously starting to plan something that was still months away from becoming a problem (if it ever would).

“We’ll learn on the job,” I assured him because really, it’s the only thing I could do and say. I was just as anxious, just as inexperienced on the subject as he was. But the thought that now I could be anxious and inexperienced by his side consoled me to no end. “Right now, I’m more worried about how we’ll be as roommates.”

“I just assumed you’d treat me as your personal butler,” he joked. Once again, it was exactly what I needed to break the intensity of the moment, and his entire body began to shake as I broke down in a fit of giggles underneath him.

“You know me so well, already,” I teased, feeling him relax against me once more, lulling me to sleep alongside him and fall in a blissful dream I never wanted to wake up from.

#my series #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale reader #ransom drysdale reader insert #ransom drysdale reader inserts #ransom drysdale reader fluff #ransom drysdale fanfiction #ransom drysdale series

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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

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Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, queer. While the LGBTQ+ label continues to expand with the increasing awareness of sexual and gender identities, we are not yet seeing this awareness extend to our screens. While we are seeing an uptick in positive, empathetic stories of homosexual characters, those characters whose sexualities are not so neatly black or white (or pink, lavender, and blue), are still depicted as confused, sexually deviant, or greedy – if they are even depicted at all. While a more fluid take on sexuality is trickling into more mainstream media, it is often done so without seeing the need for ‘labels’, ignoring an entire subgroup of the queer community who long to see themselves not only portrayed on screen but portrayed correctly and proudly.

Bisexual Erasure – “A pit stop on the way to homo” – Perpetuating Negative Stereotypes:

The 1990s and 2000s saw a number of new media hit screens that aimed to not only appeal to the queer community but to educate those outside of it as well. Joss Whedon’s landmark show Buffy the Vampire Slayer displayed the first on-screen lesbian kiss, while shows such as Will & Grace and The L Word put gay and lesbian characters to the forefront of serial narratives. While borderline revolutionary for their time, such shows now seem outdated in a time where sexuality is understood to more fluid than simply gay or straight.

Buffy’s Willow Rosenberg came out as gay after her first relationship with a woman, discarding that she had a strong emotional and physical connection to her previous boyfriend, Oz, for two and a half seasons. The 2005 drama Brokeback Mountain is often described as a romance between two gay men, similarly dismissing that both Ennis and Jack are married to women towards whom they display attraction. Katherine Mayfair of Desperate Housewives suffered a similar fate, jumping straight to believing she might be gay after her first sexual experience with another woman despite a lifetime of heterosexual relationships, with bisexuality not proffered, or even mentioned, as an option.

While the words bisexual or pansexual were never mentioned in any of these narratives, others discussed it to their detriment. Will Truman, from the now at times dated Will & Grace, referred to pansexuality as “a pit stop on the way to homo”, contributing to the common myth that bisexual or pansexual people are confused or can’t yet admit to themselves that they are gay. Friends works this line into one of Phoebe Buffay’s songs for a laugh; “And then there are bisexuals, but some just say they’re kidding themselves.”

Sex and the City also contributed to negative bisexual and pansexual myths, with Carrie Bradshaw referring to bisexuality as ‘double-dipping’ and ‘greedy’. This is another common stereotype of the bisexual. Returning to Desperate Housewives, in the episode I Know Things Now, bisexual character Peter McMillan ended up cheating on Bree with her teenage son, Andrew. HBO’s True Blood also contained a number of bisexual characters including Eric Northman and Pamela Swynford De Beaufort, whose homosexual scenes were played as kinky or deviant, saving the romance for the heterosexual couples.

“I like hot people!” – is casual sexuality progress?

A more modern approach has been taken in recent years, showing sexuality as more fluid than the rigid homosexual or heterosexual labels. But is this really a step in the right direction? Piper Chapman from Orange is the New Black is shown having serious relationships with both fiancé Larry Broom and ex-girlfriend Alex Vause, without once describing herself as bisexual. The closest we are given is Piper explaining that “I like hot people!” In The Good Place, Eleanor Shellstrop’s attraction to Tahani, Janet and Simone is made clear, but is used only as a comedic landing-place, with Eleanor’s sexuality going undefined and unexplored. While this take on sexuality as a place without labels is refreshing and a step up from the representation of the bisexual as deviant or confused, it leaves the need bisexual and pansexual people have to see themselves on screen unfulfilled.

Even shows that pride themselves on being progressive in their representation of sexuality can be found complicit in bisexual erasure. Fox’s popular musical drama Glee dedicated much of its screen time to Kirk Hummel’s struggles as an openly gay teenager in Ohio and Santana Lopez’s struggles to accept herself as a lesbian, but bisexual character Brittany S. Pierce is denied this same careful treatment and seemed to come to terms with her sexuality remarkably quickly in comparison.

“Letting my bi flag fly” – getting it right

All this isn’t to say that bisexuals are never represented correctly. Brooklyn Nine Nine’s Rosa Diaz, played by bisexual actress Stephenie Beatriz, is not only given a coming-out story – something bisexual and pansexual characters are often denied – but the struggles of her coming to grips with her sexuality are also displayed in full with understanding and tolerance. The brush off of “You’re gay, so it’s not a big deal,” applied to many members of the queer community who do not fit neatly under a homosexual label, is debunked here. Not only is Rosa given a coming-out story at her workplace, which is fielded by her colleagues with grace and acceptance, but she is also given one to her parents, causing a rift between her and her mother when Rosa insists that she has an equal chance of ending up with a woman as with a man.

The CW’s Crazy Ex-Girlfriend features a total of three bisexual characters over the course of its four-season run, most prominently Darryl Whitefeather. After divorcing his wife after a long-term marriage, Darryl is confused when he becomes attracted to White Josh and begins to question if he’s gay. This journey to discovering his bisexuality culminates in the celebratory musical number Getting Bi, the lyrics of which debunk the myth that bisexuals are confused, indecisive, or sexually deviant. It is important to note that this song is also a coming-out story, which is a refreshing change to the idea that coming to terms with being bi or pan is easy or without confusion.

Pansexual characters are also starting to find a name for themselves in mainstream media. Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy is most likely pansexual, although once again this comes without explanation or labels, denying the pansexual community visibility on screen. This is not the case in either Sex Education or Schitt’s Creek. Sex Education, which also sees Adam Groff come to terms with his bisexuality, gives Ola Nyman not only a journey of self-discovery with her sexual identity but a journey that culminates in a neatly worked-in definition of pansexuality. Schitt’s Creek takes a more nuanced but by no means less helpful approach with the now-iconic wine bottle analogy. David Rose, who has long since known he is pansexual, describes his sexuality tidily and succinctly as “I like the wine but not the label.”

We’re making progress. We’re increasingly seeing not only a wider range of sexualities and genders enter our content, but we are also seeing LGBTQIA+ characters be more than victims, stereotypes, or defined only by their labels. While it’s important to have such characters in narratives be more than their sexuality, it is equally important to depict these sexualities correctly and visibly. While films and shows may be getting better at giving us the wine, sometimes we do like the labels to be there as well.

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watevermelon · 3 years

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Jealous | Eita Semi x Reader

✧ Summary: You thought you were content with your relationship so far - Semi was your best friend and these past few years were some of the most memorable. But all of that quickly changes with some outside forces. ➳ Tags: Angst with a happy ending; some humor

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—xXxXxXxXxXx—

Four years ago, it would have been a strange sight to see you, an up-and-rising wing-spiker, sitting on the sideline of the Shiratorizawa volleyball team. Being the female team’s manager was nice, but just as ambiguous as the adjective. You sorely ached to be back as an active member on the court and you seemed to radiate that very thought throughout the schoolyear.

At the end of your first-year you were switched from official wing-spiker to sub-pinch server. That was a huge demotion in your eyes, but a position you would gladly accept now. You knees were deteriorating from overuse and it was only facilitated at the Spring Tournament during your first-year. A bad-land from a spike and you tore your ACL. From that injury, there was no going back. That took you off the regular team for the rest of the year, since your doctor recommended six-months of healing.

Torn ACL’s do not heal and you did not want to undergo surgery, since it would only prolong your time away from the court. That decision was terrible in itself, but you reasoned that your volleyball career would end after high-school. So the long-term implications did not affect your future in sports since you did not envision one.

But your career ended sooner than you thought.

You did not seek the advice of the athletic trainer or even your coach and attempted to do the same work-outs as the rest of the team. And for a good amount of time, they bought your act. It seemed you were a miraculous healer, despite the urgings of both your parents and physicians. Dates set aside for physical therapy were skipped and you opted to make yourself useful to the team.

But you were doing just the opposite.

The women of Shiratorizawa’s volleyball team had their eyes set on nationals and it seemed that you were on the right track. The team earned their spot in the finals of the Interhigh Tournament, garnering attention against Niiyama High. You were set to serve, aiming directly for the serious face of Amanai Kanoka. Mid-stride, something did not feel right and you landed, not on your feet, but on your front-side.

You looked up from your prone form on the ground to see the horrified faces of your teammates and opponents. The usually loud section of Shiratorizawa’s student body was stunned silent and everyone’s eyes were fixated on your figure. First aid was able to hoist your motionless body onto a stretcher and time seemed to momentarily stop. You could still distinctly recall the perturbed faces of your friends and family. In that very instant, you felt your heart crack and silently whispered goodbye to your beloved sport.

Your torn ACL developed into a long-lasting chronic deficiency and you were slowly losing control in knee movement.

Pity.

That was the only word to describe the certain expression other people gave you after the fact. Volleyball held a large amount of prominence on campus and the fact that nearly everyone saw your fall – it was humiliating. You were taken completely off the team and instead ushered into surgery and rehabilitation for your knee.

Many of your teammates attempted to show compassion and understanding for your situation, but they would never truly understand. You had accepted, deep in your heart, that even if you had undergone surgery early your knee would continually depreciate. It was only a matter of time.

The coach could understand your reasoning, but cursed your insolence. It hurt her that you desperately wanted to help the team, to the point of sacrificing your future. If she had known, she would have taken you off the starting-line in an instant. But there was no second chance, no benefit in asking what if’s.

The previous manager of the women’s team was leaving with graduation and you inherited her spot. On more than one occasion, you wondered if staying on as manager would really help you emotionally. It was your own personal hell, watching your previous teammates engage in volleyball and never getting the chance to join.

Graduation liberated many of your friends and majority of the people who observed your deterioration first-hand were gone. New volleyball teams were forming and you missed most of their names. Without the use of it on the court, it was harder to connect and really converse with the fresh first-years. You knew the names of the promising few – Goshiki Tsutomu was a hard one to miss. There were also two exemplary female wing-spikers, but Shiratorizawa’s team ran both deep and wide.

With all this distance, you would often miss much of the drama from those outside your year. Many of the other volleyball players made an effort not to bar you and updated you daily on news. Tendou was the number one instigator and you would often hear a warped version of the gossip from him first.

None of the male players were in the same class, ironically. There was one in each class and you shared yours with Eita Semi for the past three years. You were the closest to the mom of the group and he would usually clarify new gossip to you.

The groupchat shared amongst both the men’s and women’s volleyball team usually went ignored in your pocket. Once in a while, you would contribute a dank meme or comment. But for now, you tended to silently witness the drama unfold. Amongst the newly minted third-years was a groupchat just for you guys, both the girls and boys teams, which was the one you and Tendou seemed to haunt.

As such, you were texting away in the middle of class. You sat with Semi, who was diligently writing notes and following along with the teacher. Neither had yet to see you, but no matter who it was, they would pluck the phone right out of your hands.

GC: We’re the captains now. <(￣︶￣)>

12:43 From:s u f f e r i n g (。□°） I’m just saying, we can fight him.

12:43 From: Ushiwaka-sama I would prefer to leave the setter intact

12:43 From: Guess Monster（▼へ▼メ） Are we ignoring the problem of Goshiki????

12:43 From: Captain-Sama! He’s a wing-spiker not a middle-blocker. You don’t have to worry about your spot

12:43 From: Guess Monster（▼へ▼メ） ExCuSe youuuuuuuuuuu

12:44 From: Guess Monster（▼へ▼メ) I wouldn’t be afraid even if he was

It was severely clear to all volleyball members that your spot as a regular was never safe (unless of course your name started with a U and ended with -shiwaka.)

The coaches of either team were relentless in their words and would drop a team member if they showed enough weakness. And you would not be surprised even in the slightest if the essential vice-captain of the men’s team was benched for the newfound first-year. The anomaly of Goshiki Tsutomu could be found in the fact that he seemed to be the complete foil of his older teammates. Despite this, he showed the most promise and you almost wanted to bet money that he would be a regular by the Spring High Tournament.

12:44 From: Ushiwaka-sama Your numerable amount of question marks show your lie.

12:44 From: Guess Monster（▼へ▼メ） Why don’t you shut the fuck up

12:44 From: Ushiwaka-sama But I didn’t say anything

12:45 From: Captain-Sama! LMAO but seriously Soekawa has nothing to worry about

12:45 From: s u f f e r i n g (。□°） Even if he does I think we can take the coconut-head.

12:45 From: Guess Monster（▼へ▼メ） O mi god good one (f/n) I’m about to set his nickname as that

12:46 From: Okaasan/Eita Why don’t you take your own advice and stfu salami

12:46 From: Captain-Sama S C R E A M I N G

Okaasan/Eita has changed “Guess Monster (▼へ▼メ)” ‘s nickname to, “the most tender Salami”.

12:46 From: s u f f e r i n g (。□° ) I can’t breathe

12:47 From: Ushiwaka-sama Lol

True to your word, you were laughing with almost no control while Semi was trying not to have his smile break his stern façade. You covered your mouth to stifle the giggles and the fact that the literal volleyball idiot wrote “Lol” you had no doubt he was laughing as well a few classrooms over.

Those in your immediate vicinity subtly turned to look at you and you had to pretend to bend-down to pick up a pencil to hide your laughter. You thanked Semi for the umpteenth time for grabbing these seats in the back that were far from the teacher’s reproach.

Once you were settled, Semi commented, “The aim of my remark was to calm you all down.”

It was hard to focus in class usually, but after a morning like that you were done. English was your forte and you had no problems with the subject, even in an advanced class focused on the western world’s literature. The Great Gatsby was your shit.

13:34 From: Captain-Sama I have detention now Eita. I hope youre happy

13:34 From: Okaasan/Eita What did I do????

13:34 From: Captain-Sama I literally started screaming at the name

13:34 the most tender Salami At least someone else is suffering too

13:34 the most tender Salami My ass is getting blasted on the shared gc help

13:35 From: s u f f e r i n g (。□° ) Hey remember that time you locked me in the men’s locker room

13:35 From: s u f f e r i n g (。□° ) Karma beyotch

13:35 From: the most tender Salami LMAo thanks for that reminder ugh that was the funniest day I almost feel better

You frowned at your phone and Semi noticed your reaction, “That’s your fault. You brought it up.”

The two of you were done with class for the rest of the day and were casually lounging around his dorm room. His roommate, Reon Ōhira, was in class 4 and had a different schedule from the two of you.

You were laid-out across his bed, backpack carelessly thrown on the floor against his desk. Semi was previously occupied with whatever he does on his laptop, but now he was catching-up with the groupchat. This was incredibly normal and it was almost second-nature for you to lounge in his room. Your roommate, the captain of the women’s team, often noted this with certain intentions.

It was no secret that you and Semi were something.

You flirted nonchalantly and he had an overall friendly personality — it seemed entirely natural. Your relationship had blurred lines and no clear mutual understanding. The two of you could hold hands and he could get away with the occasional kiss on your cheek. And if anyone asked if you were in a relationship, you would say no. Semi would do the same.

There was one occasion during your second-year that pushed Semi’s buttons to the point where he made your relationship known. You could count the amount of female third-years on your hand and still have fingers to spare. This, in Tendou’s eyes, left barely any possible suitors that he would seriously be interested in. And of all people, the eyes of the guess monster settled on you.

Tendou was a somewhat of a Kuudere, in your words. He was not cold, but incredibly blunt and cared on the inside. He had the type of attitude that would not seem to care if their crush noticed them. Instead, he took it a step further, to compliment said crush to other people and claim not to like them. And because he was so damn loud and incredibly obvious, the other male volleyball players seemed to notice and their gazes would casually linger on you.

You would dismiss their sudden interest as only aesthetic-deep and not take any other crushes seriously, especially Tendou. His crush bounced from girl to girl and this was a well-known fact, simply because he could admire a good looking person and not get emotionally attached. However, this was easier when the girl was in his class and not as immediate as on the volleyball team.

Tendou would highlight the specific beauty of your smile or hair casually and the other third-years would calmly agree. Semi could see it all. He was in a private groupchat with those boys and you were the topic of their conversation more than once. He would see the friendly pat on the head from Reon as he complimented your cross-spike. Or how you would converse with Ushijima and his eyes would loiter even after you walked away. Or how you would smile brightly at Yunohama’s jokes.

Tendou and Ushijima’s shared dorm was secretly party central, the later surprisingly okay with socializing on a daily basis. But you normally hung-out with Semi, in his room. And recently you had been getting more and more invitations to their room. He was hella annoyed and would often drag you right after class to chill with him instead.

This did not change the fact that Tendou was aggressive and this led to the day of Semi’s snapping. Tendou was waiting outside of your classroom and once he spotted you, he stepped right between you and Semi to sling a lazy arm across your shoulders.

“Finally we are graced with Friday. No homework to worry about for tomorrow and even better, it’s a rest day for volleyball!” Tendou was narrating the day as the three of you walked, Semi pushed all the way to the side. “Shall we let go of our inhibitions to celebrate this rare occasion?”

You lightly attempted to push off his hold on you, but he did not budge. “Sorry Tendou, not exactly in the mood to go off campus tonight.”

“That’s perfectly alright with me,” He deflected the rejection, “Waka is leaving tomorrow morning so we can chill in the dorm.” Certain ideas were undoubtedly forming in the minds of two growing teenage boys and Semi did not hide his disapproval. Instead, he sighed loudly and had the urge to grab you right out of Tendou’s grasp.

“What do you plan on doing with just me tonight, Tendou?” You teased.

He only laughed and ignored your question, “So how about it?"

“I prefer to get my homework done before the weekend, so that’s what I’ll be preoccupied with tonight.” You answered and Semi smirked at your response.

He bristled at your retort and kept pushing, “Well. I know you like that cheesecake place downtown—”

“Can’t you take a hint, Tendou?” Semi asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Sorry, but once I lay my eyes on a beautiful girl there’s no way I’ll let her go.” Tendou affirmed and tightened his hold on your shoulders.

You blushed at his confidence, “Ha. Well, determination is a dangerous thing.” Semi noted your flushed appearance and the fact that you had not pulled away from his hold.

No way, not on his watch.

Your flustered looks and affectionate embraces were meant for him and him alone.

Was Tendou’s unwavering resolve really getting to you? The red-head would constantly shower you with compliments and it was only a matter of time that it would infiltrate your brain. Meanwhile, he would offer you vague responses and a sparse amount of sentiments.

With his mind made-up, Semi grabbed you right out of Tendou’s filthy arms and into his own. “Sorry. But she’ll be busy with me.” You were nestled underneath his neck and his arm was wrapped lightly around your waist.

The message he was sending was clear and if it was not, Semi sure as hell would be ready to provide more.

Instead of being heart-broken or defensive, Tendou immediately turned the situation around, “Busy doing what?” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“Staying the hell away from you.” Semi sassily replied and attempted to walk away with you in his grasp.

Tendou took the message in stride and went further to ship the two of you together for the rest of the schoolyear. The others must have received the message and they laid off from their previous flirting. Well, most of them. The only person unaffected by Semi’s wrath was the great volleyball idiot himself. But it was generally understood that he never really knew the implications of his actions.

Since then, there was no real progression in your public and private relationship with Semi. You hit every milestone with stride: prolonged hugs, kisses on the cheek, and even a sleepover when your roommate was away with her boyfriend. You were happy with how things were now and you feared if you talked about it, it would end. With no real reason to address the subject, the two of you continued with your relationship. He was there when you were sad and you surely did the same for him.

The second-year of high-school was your turning point. Your first-year friendship could be described as average, simply two members of the same game. Classmates and admirers of volleyball, you were cordial for ordinary reasons. After your injury, it was hard to personally connect with anyone.

But Semi could do what the others could not. Your second-year came with the introduction of Kenjirō Shirabu. He was a salty little douche and before the Spring High Tournament he was the official setter for the men’s volleyball team. The teammates that Semi had fostered and grown with since middle school were suddenly dragged away from him. And there was nothing he could do. His best was suddenly not good enough and he fell short to a first-year.

You connected on a level that the others could not understand. Being cut from a team was like being abandoned, but it was no one’s fault but your own. And that fact hurt more than anything. Try as you might, there was nothing either of you could really do to regain your prominence.

You found comfort in one another and it was highly noted by the other team members.

“What’s with the face?” Semi asked, noting your saddened facial expressions.

You paused and then sat-up, “We’re graduating this year.”

“Just because we’re leaving this school, doesn’t mean we’ll stop being friends.” Semi comforted. Friends… That word would continue to haunt you. You were friends, incredibly close with few secrets between the two of you. Your relationship was once in a lifetime and soon there would be more than emotional barriers separating you two.

It was not until the autumn formal that you recognized first-hand the complications of desire.

Someone asked Semi to the formal. And it had not been you. But he still said yes.

You heard this secondhand from Reon, a week after the girl had initially asked. Did he hesitate? Did he even think of you? Did he… have feelings for the girl?

She was someone unrecognizable from Ushijima’s class and you had spotted her after having lunch with just the ace. Social Media was a big thing and of course Shiratorizawa Academy had a team-spirit page that highlighted all sorts of shit. And of course, there were the posts about who was going with who to the formal. ((promposals cough))

You were unsure if you had ever seen her before. But after noticing her, you seemed to see her everywhere. She was beautiful in every way you were not – incredibly feminine and keeping up with her appearance. Flowing blonde hair that went past her elbows and she seemed to always sport a dress. Semi was not distant in any way and it seemed like he was never going to bring it up with you unless you took the initiative.

You asked once or twice about the girl and he waved off that she was very pretty and very determined. She seemed to exceedingly fancy him and would not take no for an answer. And he had no real reason to say no. No real reason. Your heart ached at his simple words. If you were no “real reason,” then you sure were not going to continue this way.

There was a month until the formal and that meant an entire month with having this loom over your head. Semi never indicated he wanted more than friendship and it seemed that was not enough for him. So you pulled away. This was hard since you sat together, but it was definitely different than usual.

You would brush off his invitations to hang-out, which was increasingly hard since you literally spent every waking day together. It hurt you, but it was a good wake-up call. If he did not think more of you, then it was about time you lessened this heavy dependence you had on him. It was an eventual problem that he would find a significant other, but now it was finally before you. You were no masochist and distanced yourself from the constant sorrow. On one occasion, you replied, “Why don’t you hang-out with your date instead?” It was petty and low, but true. You were being replaced. Why would he hang-out with you if he’s got another female on his line?

You addressed this with Reon, but he defended Semi saying that the two were only friends. Semi agreed on a whim, with no real intention of dating the girl or progressing as far as he had with you. But you denied this and stopped talking about it with the two altogether.

You were gleaning out the window, ignoring your lunch and sitting with the guess monster and his ace. “Stop frowning, (F/N)-chan. If it bothers you that much just talk to him.”

“Why should I even bother? He already made up his mind.” You pushed your already minute lunch away.

“Wow, giving up already?” Tendou mocked.

“It’s been three years. If he wanted to do something he would have.”

“You’re wrong, (F/N)-chan.” Salami countered, “Semi has already done something. He told me off, that’s for sure.”

“That was so long ago.”

“What have you done?” Ushijima interjected.

“I’ve never accepted any other man’s affection - not dates, chocolates, late-night talks.” You outwardly groaned and nearly slammed your head on the desk, “I’m about to graduate high-school and I’ve never been kissed.”

Even Tendou laughed at this fact, “Wow, (F/N)! I’d be willing to volunteer.”

You lifted your head to glare at him, “That is unnecessary.” Ushijima stated. “You have proven a great loyalty, it seems.”

“Great.” You mocked, voice dripping with sarcasm, “And this worked out so well for me.”

“It is a rare quality, one that I surely admire you for having.” You sat-up completely, back straight from surprise and eyes glued to the auburn-haired ace that continued eating like his words meant nothing. Even Tendou paused from his causal demeanor to narrow his eyes at Ushijima.

A grin reappeared on his face, one that surely spelt trouble, and he proposed, “Why don’t you two go to the formal together?”

You both paused and shared momentary eye-contact. His eyes appeared mostly impassive, but you had spent enough time with him to notice his questioning gaze. His left eyebrow was slightly upturned and you tilted your head in question.

“I cannot see an immediate reason not to.”

“Me neither."

“Then it’s settled!” Tendou got up to stand by the middle of the table, flippantly placing his hands on both of your shoulders, “Let’s send a post to the Shiratorizawa page so it’s official. Ah so cute, Waka and (F/N) at the dance together!”

Ushijima commented that was extremely superfluous, why should anyone care/know? You reasoned the same way, but Tendou claimed that it was not official until it was on the social media page. You both shrugged and prepared to pose for a picture over lunch.

“No, no. This looks totally lame.” He ended up dragging the both of you outside, in the middle of the quad during common hour. Tons of students were walking by and watched as Tendou modeled the two of you.

He settled on putting Ushijima’s hand on your waist and angled your front facing the ace. Your head was turned back towards the camera and you had a hand on his chest. This position was entirely intimate and even the dense Ushijima commented this, but Tendou waved it off. You wondered what crazy things Tendou could get his roommate to do.

Tendou was having a blast, taking multiple pictures from different angles on his phone. You wondered: how good could it possibly look? You were sporting your Shiratorizawa uniform and Ushijima was in his usual track-suit. You could hear the whispering and it seemed that posting the picture would be redundant, almost everyone saw the two of you posing like this!

The three of you returned back to your lunch table and upon sitting down, you received a brand new notification.

[Instabook] Slide to unlock and see new tagged post

Looks like the two most elusive volleyball bachelor/ette’s have snagged each other! Be sure to check-out this cute couple at the fall formal! Tagged: Ushijima Wakatoshi and (F/N)(L/N)

Attached: 1.jpg, 2.jpg, 3.jpg, 4.jpg

“Was it really necessary to send in all those pictures, Tendou?” You asked.

“They tell us to send multiple and they’ll pick the best one! Whoever the account owner is, they are the ones who decided on showing all of those!”

“But four?”

“I sent in ten. And four is the max they can post, so they must really like you guys.” Tendou teased. Almost instantly, you were getting more and more notifications.

People you had never met before were liking the post and it was embarrassing at how much attention this was garnering! You weren’t even dating! Your phone was constantly vibrating from Instabook and you muted the app entirely – you’d return to it later at the end of the day. Sadly, the volleyball team was quick to react too.

GC: Caw Caw SHIRATORIZAWA ୧༼✿ ͡◕ д ◕͡ ༽୨

14:57 From: Captain-Sama! um wtf is this Attached: THEpost.jpg, receipts.jpg, wtf.jpg

14:57 From: Not-my-libero-Yamagata ( ´ ▽ ` ) Not the otp but I still ship it

14:57 From: Coconut-head Senpai’s gf is so cute (๑꒪▿꒪)*

14:57 From: the most tender Salami You can thank me

14:57 From: Captain-Sama! y tf would I do that

14:57 From: the most tender Salami I got the ship sailing

14:57 From: the most tender Salami �� And got usiwaka to ask (f/n)-chan

14:58 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩ And u stil cant get urself a date??

14:58 From: the most tender Salami I’m going to ignore that and show off this CUTE COUPLE Attached: lunchdate.jpg, imthechaperone.jpg

Tendou was showcasing photos he literally took then and there, of you and Ushijima conversing over lunch. It could be viewed entirely as innocent, but after the previous posts it seemed to imply something. Tendou noticed that Semi had seen the chat already, but had yet to respond.

14:58 From: Captain-sama! Are they dating???????????????

14:59 From: the most tender Salami Nah, but theyre too busy to respond to the chat ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

14:59 From: Kawanishi ✩꒳✩ OH SHIT

14:59 From: Not-my-libero-Yamagata ( ´ ▽ ` ) WE’RE NOT OLD ENOUGH ( ಠ - ಠ )

15:00 From: Captain-Sama! I WANT PICS

Reon and Semi were discussing the subject in the comfort of their private dorm. It was clear to the tan boy that you were bothered by Semi agreeing to go to the formal and not even telling you! It was only now that Semi was understanding this and he looked to his roommate for guidance.

“I already told that girl I’ll go with her…” Semi was attempting to sort his thoughts, “But I don’t want to hurt (F/N).”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Reon interjected, “You already did that.”

Semi burrowed his head into his hands, “Does (F/N) think I’m replacing her? She means so much to me, that’s absurd.”

“You didn’t exactly tell her that you were going to formal with someone else.” Reon explained, “How would you feel if your closest friend was going to an intimate dance with a date that you never met before?” Semi massaged his temples further, feeling the oncoming migraine that usually came associated with a certain second-year setter.

His thoughts were unclear and the constant vibrating of both their phones were not helping his mental state, “What is happening?”

Reon browsed through his phone first and frowned, “Well. It seems a certain someone’s affection never fully disappeared from last year.”

Semi narrowed his eyes and picked up his phone to see your face splayed across the screen. A smile graced your face and it was clear who was the cause behind it. Ushijima’s smile was rare and came at random moments, but it was encased in memory through the photograph. He almost screamed.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Semi threw his phone on the bed before collapsing face first into it.

“On the chat, it seems Tendou was the one who pushed them together.” Semi punched his pillow at the mention of the brash Salami. “And they’re not dating, just going to the dance together.”

Semi let out a string of incomprehensible words into his comforter. “This is Ushiwaka. He’s not like Tendou, with the endless list of crushes. He’s genuine all the time and complimented (F/N) without hesitation. As in, I’m fucked.”

Reon was inwardly rolling his eyes, it was only when Semi was entirely comfortable with the other person or very enraged that he let loose his short-tempered side. And it seemed Semi was both, right at this moment.

You broke off from Tendou and Ushijima to retreat back to your dorm room. Ushijima agreed to have dinner with you later, in hopes of coordinating your outfit for the formal. It seemed the post of the two of you was the most popular on the entire page and you would have to dress to impress the audience.

Upon entering, you were ambushed with questions from both your roommate, Reon, and strangely Shirabu.

“(F/N), what the fuck.”

“You better not hinder his abilities as ace!”

“Did you just come from lunch with him?”

You blinked at the assault and then sat-down. “One, we’re not dating. So I will not be a distraction for him, I assure you. This is mostly Tendou’s doing anyway.”

Shirabu nodded at the explanation and then walked towards the door, stopping to put a hand on your shoulder first, “Good enough. Have a good time then.” And with that he walked out of the room. Shirabu was a special type of kid, everyone knew. At least he had the best intentions at heart?

“Seriously?” Your roommate and captain of the female volleyball team asked, showing off her impeccable vernacular.

“Come on.” You threw your bag to the side of your bed.

“How did this even start?” She sat down on her own bed as Reon rested on your desk chair.

“I was talking about y’know, what’s been bothering me recently. And Tendou suggested that there was no real reason to stop Ushijima and me from going to the formal together.”

“And what? Ushijima just asked on the spot after that?” She asked.

“Yeah, pretty much. And then Tendou made a big spectacle of it by making us pose for a picture.”

“A top three ace in the entire country and 190 centimeter of pure man, and you are the one to have tamed him. Holy shit, good job.” She commended.

Your eyes nearly fell out of your head and Reon could not stop his sudden coughing fit. “We are not dating.”

“Just the pure fact that Ushijima had no reason to not ask you, wow.” She commented. “If it was any other girl he would have scroll of reasons that would hit the floor with a speech to go along with it.”

“There’s no way.” You countered.

“Do you honestly think there are no implications?” Reon asked.

“Yeah, if anything he’s doing it as a favor.” You answered offhandedly, realizing your mistake instantly. It was natural to speak candidly to the two. However, it was clear that Reon would die defending Semi and thus you stopped speaking to him previously about the situation.

“A favor?” He asked, just as you had thought.

You hesitated. It was not in you to lie and it was only a matter of time before Tendou gave further details to the rest about the situation. “We were talking about Eita-kun before he asked me.”

“What about Eita?”

“Just how really messed up this situation is.” You decided on being vague.

Reon did not take the hint and continued to push the subject, “Why is it messed up?”

“You know why,” You gave him that look, like really bro, “I guess that’s what I get for assuming.

“What did you assume?” Your roommate asked, this time.

“I stayed loyal to him and I never gave into anyone. Never accepted chocolates or dates or anything. And I just assumed he would do the same?” Reon sat back in the chair, obviously mauling over your words.

“Well that is mostly true, with the exception of one person.” Both you and your roommate shot him questioning looks, unsure where he heard that from. “Isn’t it true you did extra practice with Wakatoshi for a whole month?”

“I don’t think volleyball counts as accepting affection.” Your roommate countered.

“Do you see who we are talking about?” Reon explained, “Our beloved ace lives and breathes volleyball. And he shared a good amount of that time alone with you. If you wanted to practice so badly, why not with Eita? He was the official setter.”

“Because Ushijima asked me personally.”

“And you accepted. You voluntarily spent an extended amount of time with him, engaging in the sport he loves and you didn’t think anything of it?”

“Of course not! I would have accepted practice from anyone else on the team.”

“I think that’s where you do not understand.” Reon paused, attempting to fully devlop his next few words before conveying them to the two of you. “You’re treating this extremely casually. But these are all boys who had no problems with showering you with compliments last year. Take a step back and really think about the situation.”

Your roommate interjected, “Okay, hold on. So Tendou and the boys tried to carelessly compliment (F/N) and after that she accepted one of those boy’s request to spend time with him.”

“We are not talking about some irresponsible boy. This is Wakatoshi, the most serious and straight-forward idiot to exist.”

You were sat on the bed, hands currently encasing your head in obvious stress and over-thinking. “But that’s not how I saw it! Ohmyfuckinggod.”

“I suggest you amend the situation, (F/N)-chan.” Reon advised, “I left him alone in the dorm, please talk to him.”

But you were already out the door. You had a growing list of reasons why you were an idiot and this misunderstanding definitely topped the list. You had to tell Eita that Ushijima would never hold a place in your heart like he did. It was impossible for Ushijima to have feelings for you, that was definite. Ever since your unofficial parting from Eita, you had spending more time with the ace. However, you would often be expressing your sadness about Semi and he knew entirely about your feelings. Wakatoshi was a bro.

And it was important that Semi knew that.

You tapped on his door, rapid and loud enough that you were sure other people in the hall heard it. There was a light shuffling inside and it seemed like there were multiple voices.

Semi opened a slight crack of the door with narrowed eyes, but when they landed on you they widened with obvious shock. “(F/N), what are you doing here?”

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding. I was talking with Reon and I think I need to say something before I regret it. Can I come inside?” Semi scratched the back of his ear in thought and did not move to allow you in.

“Who’s at the door, Eita-kun?” And right before your eyes was the blonde date he agreed to go to the formal with.

Semi could literally see and feel your heartbreak. When your eyes traveled from her smiley disposition to him, he saw the narrowing – the pure anguish written across your face. It was something he never wanted to see ever again. The poor boy would do anything for you and it physically pained him that the cause of your sorrow was from him.

You swallowed your pride and yelled out, “I’m sorry for interrupting!” You ran down the hall, not caring that the door to Tendou and Waka’s room opened as you sprinted past it.

“Did you hurt her?” Wakatoshi asked a stunned Semi, who was standing in the middle of the hallway with a hand outstretched.

“I hate my fucking life.” Semi slapped a palm to his forehead. He had something to do first before he addressed you. He slammed the door behind him quickly, so neither volleyball players could throw questions at him.

“What was that?” The blonde girl asked, still standing and silently waiting for Semi. He had called her here a few minutes ago, saying that they needed to talk.

“We can’t go to the formal together.” Semi stated. “I’m really sorry if I’ve led you on.”

“Is it because of (L/N)-san?” She asked, smile still evident on her face. He nodded lightly. “You two honestly suit each other. Even I was surprised when you said yes to me.” She moved to the floor to grab her bag and leave, “May I ask, why did you agree to go with me?”

“I don’t know.” He sat on his bed and wanted to scream, it was rare for him to be so confused.

“You better get your shit together, Eita-kun.” She gave a small laugh and then exited the dorm.

There was no way that you were returning back to your dorm. You knew that your roommate and Reon would still be there and expecting details. You should have known! If you kept distancing yourself from Semi, it was only a matter of time that he found comfort in another person’s arms. You deserved this, really. You had been so petty and jealous without actually affirming your feelings to him.

Text Messages:

17:32 From: the most tender Salami What was THAT?!

17:29 From: Ushiwaka-sama! Where are you???

The only place that you knew would be free of any volleyball idiots would be the on-campus café outside of the nursing building. It only accepted money and not swipes from the meal-plan, which in itself was a turn-off from most of the volleyball teams. It was on the complete opposite side of campus from the gyms and you were sure that none of the people you knew were enrolled in medical-specific programs. Of course, everyone except from her.

It had been a full hour of dodged texts and missed calls when she neared your table. “Hi. You probably don’t want to talk to me of all people.” The blonde started, but still made a motion as if asking if she could take the empty seat across from you.

“You can have the seat. I was on my way out.” You grabbed your various things from the table, readying to leave.

“Wait, please just listen.” You paused in your movements and nodded, “Semi called me to his room to call off our date for the formal. He never meant to upset you and I’m sure he’s looking for you as we speak. Please give him a chance.”

“You don’t have to do this.” You interjected, “He said yes to you and I don’t want to take him away from you just because I am the one who is upset. You asked and he accepted your affection, something we never did. We’ve only ever been friends. With Semi, all I want for him is to be happy. He deserves all the happiness in the world, even if it’s not with me.”

Your eyes were wandering around during your speech, jumping from behind the blonde and your surroundings but never focusing on her. When you gazed back at her, she was holding a hand to her nose and lightly sniffling.

“You two deserve to be together!” She shouted, “Oh god I am so sorry for getting between you guys.”

Behind you, Semi was scouring the café in an attempt to find you. He spent too damn long thinking and not acting, it was finally time that he made his feelings known. Grabbing his phone on the way out, he called Tendou and Waka and neither boys knew where you were. A quick text to Reon and your roommate and they both asked why you were not with him. Semi sighed and continued in his search. Finally, he received a text from the blonde that she found you moping around here.

Semi could spot you in a crowd of rowdy volleyball players within seconds. He found your luscious locks of hair across the very person he left. Damn, he really owed that girl. She took rejection like pro and even took it a step further to keep you here until he arrived.

“Please, you have nothing to be sorry about.” You responded.

A pair of large hands slid to lightly weigh on your shoulders, “Can I interrupt?”

“Please do.” The blonde replied and quickly gathered her belongings. “I wish you two the best.”

Semi quickly took her seat and reached across the table to hold your hands in his. “You said you wanted to clear misunderstandings before you ran off. I need to do the same.”

His grip tightened and you squeezed back. “Let me start, since I owe you an explanation.” He nodded. “Eita-kun, you’re the only man I’ve ever had eyes for. Even if I spend time with Waka-kun or Salami, they’ve never meant more to me than just friends. You’ve always held the most special and largest piece of my heart.”

Semi smiled and moved his chair closer to yours. “I want you to know that I feel the same way. It’s rather small of me, but after you spent so much time with Wakatoshi… I wanted to test if you felt the same heartbreak I felt when I saw the two of you together. I realize now how spiteful that was of me, to the very girl I had feelings for.”

You placed a gentle hand on the side of his face, rubbing rather affectionately and he seemed to lean into it. “Looks like we’re a pair of idiots.”

“But now you’re my exclusive idiot.” He staked his claim and you wondered how his seat suddenly was right next to yours!

Semi nuzzled your nose with his own, smile enrapturing you for the oomph time. You closed your eyes and leaned forward, bumping noses until you felt the gentle touch of his lips against yours. You were entirely receptive, even moving further into his body to get the full scape of his silky lips. The tips of his hair were tickling the sides of your face. And you would kill to feel this sensation for the rest of your life.

His hands lost themselves in your hair, preoccupied with keeping a steady hold on the back of your head. You returned the embrace and he took that as an invitation to glide his lips against yours, silently asking for entrance. You moaned in answer and opened up slowly, but he took it entirely in stride – not skipping a beat.

It was only when a flash went off that the two of you broke apart, gasping for air.

“Holy shit!” Tendou yelled, Wakatoshi clapping not too far behind him. You flushed with embarrassment. God you moaned in public! “This one is for the page.”

You were about to interject when Semi stated, “Finally. Maybe now you bastards will get the message.”

New notification:

[Instabook] Slide to unlock and see new tagged post

Hot momma! Finally, it seems as though the couple everyone shipped together are finally official~ Hopefully we don’t have to mark this page as 18+ Tagged: Eita Semi and (F/N)(L/N) Attached: 1.jpg, 2.jpg / 3.gif

Semi led you back to his empty dorm, your roommate and Reon were bro’s and willingly offered to have a sleepover to give you two alone time. You were currently encased between his arms, legs tangled and speaking in low voices. He had you nestled beneath his chin, but most of your weight laid across his chest. Semi did not want this moment to end. He waited three years for this, it was a moment of love in the making. You laughed lightly in his arms, not a care in the world keeping you from him. You were both on cloud nine, basking in each other's presence. You never took Semi as a closet cuddle-whore, but you were not complaining. His arms encased you perfectly and you could not hold back from placing butterfly kisses across his chest. You loved him, it was only a matter of time that you found out.

—xXxXxXxXxXx—

➳ A/N: This fic may seem familiar because it’s being brought up over from our earlier Deviantart account! <3

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