#and i have been allowing myself to curse since yesterday. but only saying fuck

[kwritingbooks]

cowritten by me & @shroombloomm

read on wattpad or tumblr masterlist

Aurora has a lot to think about while Harry is gone, but just because he's gone now doesn't mean he won't be back soon. Which also means that she can't hide away from the issues at hand forever, especially when that familiar knock on the door rings out. But maybe it won't be as bad as she keeps telling herself...

AU: star-being!harry x astronomy-student!aurora

AURORA'S POV

It would be a lie to say the last few days were easy, or that I was able to pretend it didn't happen. The truth was, while some of it was foggy, not enough of it was for that to happen. None of the parts that I would have preferred to forget were misplaced in memory at all. Not the look on Harry's face when I saw him over Brandon's shoulder, not the aggravation from Nina, and not the touches I allowed Brandon in the first place either.

I didn't even know why I did it. Or why I allowed it to keep going. The regret had yet to fully subside even afterwards. It also didn't help that Nina had given me her version of silent treatment the night of. She didn't say much to me unless she needed to, but there wasn't much she needed to say besides helping me get to bed. I was pretty sure I had even started crying at one point, mumbling about how I fucked things up between everyone and how stupid I was to go to the party.

Nina just shushed me to sleep, saying that we would talk about it in the morning when I had sobered up. Which we did. She seemed more put together then and less annoyed with me, too. As long as she wasn't holding a grudge over me, that was all that mattered in the moment. She never was upset for long, which I was eternally grateful for. Sometimes I didn't fully deserve it, but that never seemed to matter.

I even remembered instinctively reaching for my phone once I woke up more, hoping to see a message from Harry. Some kind of acknowledgement had to have been better than nothing. Until I remembered that he had left for the next few days back to his planet. I tried not to think about what he could possibly be thinking, but he was probably too preoccupied with his star duties anyway– whatever that meant.

Instead, the only messages I received were texts that I had the least amount of energy to deal with. They were from Brandon from last night, rambling different cursing variations slewn together from his obvious drunken state. It was hard to piece together completely what he was trying to say, but it was obvious that he was angry that I got up and left him for Harry. Actually, most of the insults were directed towards Harry, messily explaining how Harry would never give me what I needed whereas he could. Most involved the size of his dick.

That was probably the first time I had truly laughed since that night. The blocked and deleted buttons had never been so easy to press.

She had breakfast cooking, but she said I had to get out of bed to get it. It took awhile to muster up the energy over the hangover, but I think that was part of the punishment, whether on purpose or not.

Regardless, once I did get up, I didn't eat much. The blaring headache in my skull was too powerful to focus on anything else besides fighting the urge to vomit all over the countertops. That was how I ended up spending the majority of the rest of the day. While she ran errands, I tried my best to sleep it all away. I wrote off the sunken feeling I felt in my chest as another inevitable symptom of binge drinking, but when I woke up the next day sober, I realized that that wasn't at fault of the alcohol at all.

I knew I should've used the time I had proactively. I also knew that my door was supposed to be fixed yesterday and that it was safe to go back, but it was as if I physically couldn't. Astro barking to go outside for a walk was the only reason that I found myself leaving the house on my own accord.

That was how I spent most of my time while I was at Nina's. It started off being sick with a hangover and meddled with a slip of depression in the midst. I think Nina had definitely noticed, because she was kinder than her already normally-kind self was. She made sure I still woke up for classes, ate beforehand, and was clean enough to go out in public. If it was anyone else besides Nina, I would've gotten annoyed– yelling that they're not my mom, but there was no way I could be annoyed by her. She was just trying to help, and if it wasn't for her help I would've stayed in my stumper for that entire time.

It did eventually get better, and luckily that feeling didn't completely devastate me for too long. Though, it was still hard to fight against the feeling that I hadn't truly messed up everything. Mistakes were bound to happen for anyone, and hopefully Harry would understand that. We were just friends after all.

I was still nervous about him coming back to Earth today, though. I had spent most of the morning going over what I would say when I first saw him. I didn't know there were so many ways to apologize until that moment– swearing none of them felt right. Nina reminded me that I was thinking too hard about it and that I was beating myself too much over it.

"Just say what feels right, don't force anything else." She had said as she came around the corner in the kitchen. She must have heard me talking to myself, whispering "sorry" in one too many different ways.

"I think he'll understand. Just be honest." She continued after I didn't say anything. She could probably tell that she had taken me by surprise. I was too absorbed in the pancakes and eggs that I was cooking that I didn't realize she had woken up.

The smell of which only seemed to riddle me with more guilt, reminding me of earlier in the week when Harry had done the same for me. Maybe that was why I went for that option out of instinct, it felt like the perfect reciprocation for him to come back to his second home with. I even added blueberries inside for the special touch.

I turned my head behind me, giving her a faint smile as she ventured to my other side. She peered down at the pan, taking a small whiff of the batter cooking in front of us.

"Smells good." She paused as she made her way towards the coffee maker, pouring herself a cup. "Could this have anything to do with a certain someone coming back home today?"

I didn't have to look at her to know that she was smirking. I had to fight against my own as I flipped another one of the pancakes in the pan.

"Or..." I trailed off, trying to wipe off the guilty look on my face. "Maybe I'm just hungry."

She snorted. "Sure, right, of course."

"Why did you say it like that?" I sat my mug down onto the counter to face her with a hand on my hip. "It's just Harry."

"It's just Harry." She mocked me teasingly behind her cup of coffee before taking a slow sip of it. I rolled my eyes at her, turning my body to face away. I tried to hide the smile that carved deep into my cheeks, but it was hard not to.

It was just Harry. That was all.

Just Harry.

"Anyways, he should be stopping by here soon I think." I stirred the spoon into my coffee cup, pursing my lips to the side as I got lost into my own thoughts.

I suppose I was a bit scared to see him. Nina always had a gift for seeing right through me. I just hated that she would say it out loud. I didn't think I had even said it out loud to myself, even when I was left alone without any other eyes on me.

Saying things out loud made it real, and that was what scared me. I wanted to stay in my bliss of ignorance for just a bit longer. Bathe in my own delusions of what I had made for myself on the inside. I didn't have to say anything out loud. Not if I didn't want to. And I did not want to.

"Aurora, if you make this awkward, I swear to fuck I am leaving your ass here." Nina said as she pushed past me on purpose. It was a soft nudge to the shoulder, but I knew what she was trying to say through the gesture.

"I am not going to make it awkward!" I half whined. I didn't even notice my hands going over my face when I had said it. I didn't mean to make things awkward, but I guess I did have that tendency sometimes. Especially when I was nervous.

"You better not, because like I said, I will leave." She teased. "If it's one thing you're good at, it's making everything awkward. Just talk to him like nothing happened. It's not that hard, Aurora."

"You say that, but–" I went to defend myself, but the knock on the door had quickly grabbed my attention. I felt my body go stiff, not even noticing the way my hands were now death-gripping the hot cup of coffee that I held.

"Mm, speaking of the devil." Nina nodded towards the door with a teasing smile on her lips. I squinted my eyes at her as she made her way towards the door. I truly didn't feel as nervous earlier as I did right now, which I didn't even know was possible.

There was a turning feeling in my stomach. I didn't think that seeing Harry right now was going to make me react this way, but I also just didn't think I was ready for it this soon. I didn't know what to say to him. Not yet.

I sunk into the deepest parts of the kitchen that was away from the front door. I wasn't hiding. I was just...cooking. Exactly. I was just cooking. That was all.

I sat my coffee down onto the counter as I grabbed the bowl of batter, quickly pouring some into the hot pan that Nina had on the eye. Noises from the door opening made my stomach twist uncomfortably, and then I heard him, only contorting it further.

"Hey, Nina. Aurora's still here, right?" His voice floated through the apartment as Nina closed the door from behind her.

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen." Nina perked up with a cheery tone. I pinched my eyes shut tightly, placing a hand on my forehead as I tried to collect myself.

They were having small talk, and that was fine. It bought me more time to regain my composure, which I was more than happy for. It was when I heard his footsteps coming towards the kitchen that I started to feel my tensions rise again. I immediately started to busy myself around the area, trying to make it look like I didn't even know he was there as if I wasn't just eavesdropping on the conversation they were having.

I settled on standing in front of the oven with a spatula in my hand while I flipped the pancakes that were burning in the pan. My chest was caving in while my breathing was staggering as I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see Harry standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

It really didn't matter how much I had seen of him, he still knew how to knock the breath out of me any time he was around. He had a loose, white, and washed out Rolling Stones shirt on with blue jeans that ripped at the knees. That was all I could see from the small glance I had given him. It was all I could bear.

"Hi." His voice was laced with nervousness. I could tell that much. It almost lifted a bit of weight off of me to know that I wasn't the only one that was uncomfortable, but he didn't know that.

I felt like the minute I said something, my voice was going to give everything away regardless, though. In order not to let the silence linger any more than it already had, I finally spoke up.

"Hey." I echoed out with my head crooked over my shoulder in his direction. I caught a brief glimpse of him before I brought my gaze back to the food that was almost finished cooking. I was on my last one, which also meant that I wouldn't have any more excuses to keep my focus laying anywhere else but the people around me.

He was leaning against the doorframe and I couldn't tell if he had a look of confusion or concern wrapped in his features just from the small glance that I had gotten. The unknowing of what was going through his mind was the most nerve-wracking of all. In reality, I knew I was probably blowing it slightly out of proportion, but it didn't help settle my mind any more with that knowledge anyway.

I placed the last blueberry pancake onto the platter, stacking high with steam creeping off of the cakes. Just as I twisted the knob of the stove off, I heard his steps behind me start to move closer. For a moment, I considered cooking more just so I didn't have to turn around and face him. Even though it had already been a few days since, the embarrassment from that night was still just as overwhelming. At least beforehand I didn't have to face Harry about it, I could just ignore it and let it eventually pass until it came up again.

But there was no ignoring it when it was directly behind me.

"Everything okay?" Harry questioned quietly, sounding slightly unsure about his own feelings himself. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him now leaning against the counter to my right. He was using his elbow to prop himself up as he gazed at me.

I flashed a meek smile at him, gathering all the dishes and placing them in the sink between us. "Yeah, I'm good."

He wrinkled his eyes at me as he surveyed what I was doing. I could tell he was attempting to figure out what I was thinking but was getting slightly frustrated when he couldn't pinpoint what it was. I wasn't sure if it was because I was doing a good job at remaining neutral, or if it was the barrier between species that was helping me out. I was grateful either way.

"Harry!" I heard Nina exclaim as she re-entered the room. "I almost forgot– You're coming to the get-together later, right? It was supposed to be this big party at some dude's house, but plans changed a bit. Plans changing as in that guy is a dick and it'll be lame, so we made our own plans instead. It'll be fun!" She beamed.

I inhaled a deep breath as I continued to place everything to their designated spots. I pretended like I wasn't just as excited as Nina to hear what he was going to reply with. We had decided it was just going to be the four of us while Harry was gone, so we couldn't update him beforehand. I had to explain to her the same bullshit excuse as to why he wouldn't be able to answer his texts while he went to go see his parents. Luckily, she didn't pry too much on it and just accepted it.

"Oh, uh..." He stammered for a moment. "I had forgotten. Don't we have work to do and classes tomorrow?" His voice sounded unsteady for a second and I could tell that he had been taken off guard. I felt bad.

"It's nothing huge, I promise! We all don't have classes until later tomorrow anyways." Her voice raised an octave from excitement as she got in front of Harry, pouting her lip out. "C'mon, Harry! Pleaseee..."

I smiled to myself as I placed the last plate onto the table with the pancakes directly in the middle of all of them. Once finished, I leaned an arm against the table and watched the interaction between the two of them, giggling slightly to myself.

He still looked faintly uncomfortable as he searched his eyes around the room. Nina backed away with a small huff, looking at me out of the corner of her eye. I shifted, placing a hand onto my cheek as I looked away from the both of them.

Okay, maybe this was a little bit awkward.

"Okay, okay. Just think about it, okay? I've got to get to class, so I'll see you guys later." She flashed one last smile in Harry's direction before venturing in my direction. With a bare hand, she reached for the first pancake on the stack and winked at me. 

"Stop being awkward and use that Aurora charm that works so well!" She whispered in my ear, concealing it with a hug. She mouthed one last "you got this" before taking a bite and turning on her heel out the door, giving Harry a pat on the back on the way.

The silence trickled back between us as we were now left alone again, but this time truly alone. I tapped my fingers against the dining room table for a moment as I thought. With a singular deep breath, I sat down in one of the seats.

"I made blueberry pancakes if you're hungry–" I stopped myself, wanting to kick myself in the foot after the realization that he doesn't get hungry. "Or if you just wanna try them, I guess."

"Blueberries?" He questioned with his brows knitted together. He peered over the table as he took a step closer. "What does it taste like?"

I smiled as he pulled the chair out for him to sit in. He didn't even wait to hear my explanation before slapping the biggest cake onto his plate. His head crooked at the shape, as if trying to understand how the berries got stuck inside of it.

"There's only one way to find out." I half-laughed. "They're good, I promise. They're not the poisonous kind of berries." A full laugh broke out that time, but dissipated when I saw the look of horror etched onto his face.

"There's poisonous berries?" His eyes widened as big as the moon and I thought that he was about to toss the plate away from him.

"No. Well, I mean, yes, there are poisonous berries but not the ones you buy in the store. Blueberries are sweet and they taste good. Try it." I nudged my head towards his plate for encouragement, but he still looked unsure. So, I took a bite of my own and he looked at me like he was waiting for me to fall over dead on the floor.

I swallowed, forking another bite onto the silverware. "See? Not dead."

His eyes softened as he stared back down, cutting his own slice and placing it into his mouth. For a few minutes, that was how we continued to exist amongst each other. Both of us were so preoccupied with the food that we didn't say anything. There was still a slight awkwardness in the air, but it had greatly subdued. I had almost forgotten what I was so worried about to begin with given how natural it felt to be around him again.

That was probably the reason why I had enough confidence to say the next thing that I did.

"I'm sorry, by the way." I strained to get the words out, convinced I would choke on my food if I wasn't careful. A swig of coffee helped coat my throat and soothe my nerves simultaneously.

"Sorry?" He repeated in a confused tone.

I stopped eating my food, trying to focus on what to say next. I was hoping I wouldn't have to explain what I was apologizing for and that it would be obvious, but that didn't look to be the case this morning.

"With the whole Brandon thing...at the bar...you know?" I mindlessly cut up the pancakes into smaller pieces, not picking any of it up into my fork. I had to stop myself from continuing as it would just become one big mushy mess if I didn't.

"Ah." He mentioned softly. Such a small word left such a weird hollowed out feeling in my stomach again. It was like he had forgotten and I was stupid enough to bring it back up for him to remember. Regardless, I knew I needed to apologize sooner than later. I was sorry after all. I didn't need to lie or pretend it never happened.

"I don't want you to think that's who I am. It's who I was, but I don't like that side of me. I blocked him and I don't want anything to do with him anymore, okay? He's not a good guy and I should've known better. I'm sorry you had to see any of that." My eyes looked along the table, suddenly interested in the table cloth fabric as I twisted it between my fingers.

"Okay. I believe you." He replied, quicker than I expected. The previous look of hurt was no longer on his face, it was now replaced with that familiar Starboy sparkle in his eyes that I had grown so much comfort in.

"Thank you, Harry." I grinned at him. The uneasiness had drifted away and so had the queasiness that had grown in my stomach. I forked away at the food again, looking up briefly towards Harry who was doing the same.

"You should come tonight, though. It'll be fun. You'll get to meet Nina's boyfriend, Ryan, too." I said as I piled the last bite into my mouth. I hummed lightly to myself, content with my now-full stomach.

"Is he nice?" He inquired aloud suspiciously. "Because most of the men I've met so far are not very nice."

I had to hold back the snort that I wanted to let out from his observations, but I couldn't help but feel a ping of guilt. Harry watched the way I surrounded myself around guys that weren't that nice of people. If he had realized that so quickly, and I wondered why I had let it happen over and over again.

"I don't know much about him either, but Nina really likes him and I want to give him a chance. You should, too." I said quietly, offering an innocent smile.

He twitched his lips together as he thought, swirling around the leftover pieces of pancake still on his plate. "Okay." He mustered out. "As long as he's nice to her."

I smiled. "I'll make sure he is. We both will, okay?"

His eyes glided back up to mine, this time with the first real smile I had seen since he came back. I felt an immediate wave of relief flood through my chest. "Okay."

"Perfect. It's settled then." I beamed, gathering our finished plates and putting them into the sink. The water rushed out, splashing slightly onto my shirt from the suddenness of it. It was a good thing I was still in my pajamas, completely unaffected by the mess.

The mood within the room had completely flipped from only an hour ago, and I now felt on top of the world. Not only did it end a lot better than I expected it to, but we were all going to go out and have a good time with just the four of us. There was a little bit of nervousness about Nina's new boyfriend, but like I told Harry, I wanted to give him a chance. Given how patient she had been with me recently, as well as in the past, it was the least I could do for her. Maybe he would be the one frat guy that I could stand to be around.

It took some convincing at first, but as Nina described it more, the more excited I actually got. There would be no entering of stranger's homes; it actually didn't involve anyone's home at all. We were going to drive out to a spot that Nina and I had camped out at a time or two awhile back, completely surrounded by trees and nature.

Which also reminded me that I was already behind on my one and only job for it: rolling the joints.

"Oh, shit." I cursed out, shutting the water off and spinning around out of the room. "I'll be right back, I forgot something." I shouted over my shoulder, already out of view.

I wasn't sure if Harry said anything back as I was too preoccupied with rummaging through my drawer where I stashed everything. Everything from glass pipes, to jars of different strains, to decorated lighters, to cherry wrapping papers were all neatly placed in their rightful places. I was usually the one in charge of rolling as Nina swore up and down that I did it best, but I wasn't wholly convinced that she just preferred not to do it. I never minded though, I enjoyed the act of rolling. It was calming in some way to be so focused on one task.

I scanned my eyes along the contents as I thought to myself on which to choose. I ended up deciding on Wedding Cake, the classic mellow strain that I always found myself reaching for. Even though I wasn't sure which one Harry would have preferred, I thought that would be the safest out of the choices regardless.

Quickly, I grabbed the jar with the papers and padded away back into the kitchen where Harry still sat. He hadn't moved besides placing his hands neatly onto the tabletop, and he smiled at me once I entered. His eyebrows seemed to dance together as he tried to focus on what was in my hands, and I opened my mouth to explain myself, but then promptly closed it. I found it slightly entertaining to see him gape at the objects that I had placed onto the table.

It was as if I wasn't even in the room as he continued to stare at the nuggets that I placed into the grinder, spinning the lid in order to crush it up. I peeked up at him every now and then as I reached around for each object, and he didn't meet my eyes once until I brought the cherry papers up to my lips.

All of a sudden, the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach reappeared as I swiped my tongue along the edge. I could feel his eyes on me even while I avoided them. It took everything in me not to close my eyes just to pretend he wasn't there– or to avoid my cheeks from blushing.

My thumbs threatened to shake as they carefully rolled the paper up, enclosing the weed inside of the material. For something I was typically so confident in, the feeling was suddenly dwindling with such eager eyes on me.

"What is that?" He finally spoke up, continuing his look of interest in his eyes. "It smells funny."

I giggled, placing one of the finished rolls onto a tray and began starting on the next one. "Weed, Harry. It's for the party tonight."

His head slightly fell back with a slight face of horror. "Weeds? Like the grass outside? That green stuff? I don't remember it smelling like that. What do you do with it?"

His rapid firing of questions reminded me of the Harry that I had first met, eager to know everything possible as soon as he could. Everything interested him and he wanted to know every single possible answer.

I chuckled again because of it. "No, not grass. It's a plant, but you smoke it. It makes you feel good, floaty almost." I peeked my eyes up at him as I began to lick at the next one. He no longer stared as intently at me as he once was, which helped ease the nervous feeling he had given me previously.

"I can already float, Aurora." He stated matter-of-factly with his arms crossed. "I don't need to smoke grass to float."

I snorted. "I suppose not, but you should try it at least once. I bet you'll like it." I smirked at him, putting up the rest of the contents that I had left over. After the nerves had settled, my previous work speed had gone back to normal and I had already rolled three joints perfectly by the time that he was inquiring about the weed.

"Will it feel like those good blue slushies from that one restaurant we went to?" His eyes began to glow with anticipation, practically bursting at the seams.

"No, not quite like that. It'll be more relaxing, like your whole body will feel it. Sensations will be stronger, too. You can watch us first to see if you want to try it." I reassured him. "Nina and I will make sure you're safe and comfortable regardless."

He nodded his head. "I think I'll try it. Maybe this type of floating won't be so exhausting."

I blew out a burst of air through my nose. "Hopefully not."

My attention turned towards the stove, reading out the time in glowing numbers. I didn't have a class until later, but I needed to stop by the planetarium beforehand so that I could get my supplies for the next presentation. Apparently the professor was so impressed by my first one that he wanted me to join him again for this week's showing. It hardly took me a second to reply with a quick acceptance.

"Do you want to come by the planetarium with me? I've gotta get some material from there and make sure there's nothing else that needs to be done before work tomorrow." I pushed my chair in, wiping my hands of any residue that had lingered against my fingertips. I mildly regretted doing this beforehand, not wanting to greet Professor Collins while smelling like weed.

Hopefully he wouldn't notice.

He nodded his head quickly again, scooting his seat in immediately as he grabbed for his bag and slung it over his shoulder promptly.

I chuckled lightly. "I gotta get dressed first. I'll be out in just a second and then we can go. I'll be quick, I promise."

It didn't take long to rummage through my closet. I slipped on an extra layer over my shirt, expecting the chilliness in the air to bite back with force. I did my best to try and dodge any mirrors, knowing I had to be quick, which meant I couldn't focus on my appearance. As long as I looked put together enough, that was all that mattered.

Luckily with the guidance and help of Nina, even my depressed stupor didn't affect my cleanliness too badly. I had even remembered to do my skincare routine earlier this morning before I got out of bed.

I almost tripped over my feet as I attempted to slip on my boots while I walked out of my bedroom door. After a couple of tries, I gave up and plopped myself on the floor while I laced them up correctly. I hadn't been this excited to leave the house since the whole bar situation. It was a nice change to the feelings I had been engulfed with since then. I liked this version of Aurora so much better.

"You ready?" I asked, slightly winded from the previous excursion I had put myself through in the hallway.

Harry turned around from Astro, who he was whispering to as he petted her back. She was wagging her tail vigorously, fighting to lick at his face as he knelt down to her.

"Let's go." He smiled, giving Astro one last pat on her head. He pointed in her direction. "Does she always slobber that much?" He sounded concerned.

"Only when she's excited...or thirsty." I offered with a shrug and a laugh. "Dogs can be kinda gross, I know."

His face twisted with a look of fascination mixed with disgust as we walked past her. Harry led the way, briefly looking over his shoulder in my direction.

"Quite peculiar they are."

The cool breeze greeted us as we left the apartment. This was just a reminder that summer was starting to slowly fade into fall. No more shorts and breezy shirts, or fun colors with sparkly makeup. It was going to be long sleeve shirts and pants from here on out.

I was a fan of the fall time, but summer was when I thrived the most. Specifically because it was a good time to see the stars, and it was more comfortable to lay outside at night and watch the constellations. I hated that the warmest of seasons seemed to go by so quickly, but it was something I surely couldn't control.

I wrapped myself up with my arms as my fingers slowly trailed up and down the goosebumps that the wind created on my skin. I wished I grabbed my thicker jacket, but I didn't expect the weather to change so drastically. It was hot yesterday, but then again, the weather never seemed to want to pick a side as they drifted into the new seasons.

"You cold?" Harry asked quietly from beside me. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, a small chuckle came from me as I shrugged my shoulders and dropped my arms to my sides.

"Um, just a bit." The small talk was kind of weird. I was glad we had gotten everything out of the way, but I still felt a gnawing guilt feeling in the back of my mind. Harry seemed fine, and I suppose that was all that really mattered. I just wanted him to be okay.

We kept walking, the gray skies clouding over the city. I had somewhat hoped that the clouds would subside by tonight so we could still watch the stars. One of the reasons I mainly went to these things was so I could get high and just stargaze.

One could say it was cliché, but I was a walking cliché after all. Never claimed not to be. I knew that as well, and I was okay with it. I had long gotten over the need to be different from everyone else, that was a cliché in and of itself.

"The weather today–"

"Don't do that to me." I told him with a chuckle, shaking my head at him. "We are not about to talk about the weather."

"Does weather talk not interest you, Aurora?" His smile dipped into a half frown, and I immediately felt bad. I kept having to remind myself that he wasn't from here, and that he didn't get that talking about the weather could be weird filler conversations reserved for strangers.

"Um...It's just that, sometimes, it could be taken weirdly, you know?" I kicked at the pebbles on the ground as we approached the planetarium. "Usually it's just a way to fill awkward space between people who don't know each other. Friends don't have to do that."

"Oh, okay. I see." I could've believed him if he didn't swallow the rest of his words down. Some things just weren't meant to be said. In our case, it was best if we just left it alone as it was now.

Harry led the way into the planetarium, and I was grateful for a moment that he did, given that I was nearly holding my breath the entire walk there. I felt my shoulders relax as I entered the warm building, the heat hugging me like a weighted blanket.

I hated doing things so last minute sometimes. If I wouldn't have put off needing to pick up the papers for next week's speech then I could be doing other things right now. Such as staring blankly at the notes for the test I had coming up, but not soaking anything in due to how tired I was. Or I could have been napping.

Harry stood close behind me as I walked into the main room of the building. The lights were dimmed down, but they were still on. Usually this place was packed, but today we didn't have anything scheduled to show. It was weird seeing this place so empty– so quiet.

I wheeled around the chairs, rushing towards the desk that was all the way in the back of the room. That was where Professor Collins said that he would have left the papers for me. I didn't think he was going to be in today, but I also didn't want to check either. I just wanted to be in and out.

Out of the corner of my eye, Harry stood next to the row of chairs that was by the desk as his eyes scanned around the room. His fingers slowly fiddled with the rings that cladded his hands. It took me a second to put two and two together, but then I realized.

This was where he was attacked by the light guardian. The night that we had met up at the coffee shop, where his face had been bruised and bloodied.

I clutched the papers tightly into my hand, moving my gaze towards the desk as I placed them into my bag.

"Looks like you've seen a ghost, Harry." Professor Collins's voice echoed through the room.

I saw Harry slightly jump at the sound of his voice, his body quickly turning to see him standing there with a wide smile on his lips and his arms crossed against his chest. I gazed over the two of them, seeing how uncomfortable Harry was made me feel bad for him.

"Oh, just–" Harry cleared his throat, shifting onto his feet slowly. "I just always found this building creepy when it's empty."

"Hm." Professor Collins hummed, giving Harry a once over before turning his body towards me. "Find those papers I left for you, Aurora?"

"I did!" I tried to sound cheery, but the tension somehow became a lot thicker in the air, but this time due to the newfound awkwardness. I didn't think it was possible after the residual feelings that were still felt in the air between Harry and I, but Collins being in the same room had proved that it was. "Sorry I was so late grabbing them, but I'll make sure that I study them before next week."

"Not a problem at all." He reassured me with a small smile. "Just want to make sure that you're prepared. We will be going over some more information I have gathered about black holes. I know we really haven't gone over that much, so just make sure you study the notes."

"Black holes?" Harry took a step towards the professor with a big smile. "Did you know that the milky way has a black hole?"

"Probably." He corrected Harry, perking his brow up as his lip twitched in curiosity. "Scientists say that it probably has a black hole. No further studies have proven it, not quite yet."

"Oh." Harry bit back. The fact that Harry said it, made it ring true. He knew everything about the stars and space himself. I mean, he lived there, so why wouldn't he?

"You sure know a lot about that, don't you?" Collins shifted his gaze towards Harry. "How long have you been going to school here again?"

"Um... I just started this semester." He said quietly, taking a step back from him as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"And yet, you know so much." Collins pondered to himself quietly, but loud enough where we could hear it. "Was this something you always wanted to do? Study the stars?"

"I mean, yeah." Harry cleared his throat again, bringing two of his fingers to push on his lips as he switched his gaze back and forth between Collins and I. "My parents are really into that kind of stuff, so...I guess that's why."

"And where are your parents, Harry? It seems like I don't know much about you, though you've been working here for sometime now." Collins said as he glanced towards me out of the corner of his eye. It was almost like he was making sure I was watching him dig into Harry.

Harry rubbed the soft stubble on his cheek with a frown as he averted his gaze towards me. I knew this was starting to get more uncomfortable for him by the moment, so I had to say something to get him out of the hole that Collins was digging him into.

"We have to go." I said almost in shock as I checked the time on my phone. "Harry, you have that hair appointment in twenty minutes. I totally forgot about that."

Harry's eyes widened, his hand dropping down to his side as he looked at me in confusion. Collins faced me, tilting his head as he looked me over. I stood there with a small smile on my lips, a nervous laugh spilling from them.

"Hair appointment–?"

"Well, it was really nice seeing you, Jerry." I said as I collected my things from the desk, shoving them into the bag swiftly. "We really need to get Harry to that appointment, but we can definitely talk later."

"Right..." He cleared his throat, a smile spreading across his lips. I let out a small breath as I nodded towards him, my hands interlocking with Harry's as I started towards the door.

"Bye!" Harry waved back at him with his free hand, his dimples planted into his cheeks as he smiled. I dared not to look back as I continued to pull Harry out of the door.

I didn't have to ask Harry, I think he already knew that that interaction was really weird. Collins had always been a really nice guy ever since I met him. I couldn't wrap my head around why he would ask a million questions to Harry. He had to have known it was awkward in the way he was throwing them so quickly at him. I didn't recall ever having so many inquiries from him towards my life at once.

Harry's grip tightened around my hand as he pulled me towards him for comfort. My cheeks started to heat up as his thumb mindlessly ran over the back of my hand. For a moment, I wasn't sure if I should pull my hand from him or if I should just let it happen. I couldn't lie, it felt nice. I liked it.

That was until Harry had let go of my hand the minute I was closer to him. I pursed my lips to the side, crossing my arms over my chest as we continued to walk down the sidewalk back towards Nina's house.

"Sorry about that." I cleared my throat into my fist. "I don't know why he did that. That was..."

"I don't think I like people asking me questions." Harry said softly, a soft frown formed onto his lips. "I'm never sure what to say. I always feel like I'll say something I'm not supposed to."

"Let's just stay away from questions for right now." I breathed out. "Later I can help you figure out some answers to some of those questions, okay?"

"You would really do that for me?" Harry gazed towards me with a soft smile. I felt his hand rest on the top of my back. "Thanks, I really appreciate that."

"Of course." I nodded towards him. "Um... would you mind helping me pack up everything at Nina's and taking it back to my house? My landlord said they had fixed the door, so..."

"Can I walk Astro?" He said with an excited tone and a lopsided grin.

"Yes, you can walk Astro." I chuckled out.

"Then yes, I will." Harry clapped his hands together, shrugging his shoulders as he started to walk a bit faster. I watched as he excitedly blew past me, and I couldn't help but find it so cute.

Just the simplest things Harry found so exciting.

It made my heart flutter.  

"Nina just texted me, they are outside waiting for us." I said as I clicked my phone off, sliding it into the back of my pocket.

I double checked through the bag, making sure I had everything for tonight. Waters, blankets, jackets, and snacks. The joints were in my purse and everything else was good to go.

"I'm a bit nervous, Aurora." Harry said from behind me, his fingers twisting his rings around slowly as he pursed his lips to the side. "After the last party we went to..."

"It's not gonna be like that party. It's just gonna be the four of us, nobody else. I promise." I tried to reassure him as I flung the bag over my shoulder. "Plus, Nina is a good judge of character. She wouldn't have Ryan around if he wasn't, right?"

"And you." He said, nudging my elbow with his. "Don't forget you."

I wanted to laugh, but I held it back. I wasn't really that interesting of a person, or good for that matter. Maybe it was just my anxiety talking, but I really didn't look at myself the way that Harry seemed to. He was much more forgiving to myself than even I was.

"Well, anyways." I cleared my throat as I headed towards the door. "Astro's fed for the night... Got everything in my bag..." I ran my hand over the fabric of it, squinting my eyes as I went through my mental list.

"You checked the bag twice now. I'm sure we have everything." Harry said as he nudged me out the door. "Now go. Shoo, shoo, out the door."

"Okay, okay." I chuckled as I locked the door from behind me. We left my apartment, seeing Ryan's truck that was parked right outside. I was glad I didn't have to walk far to meet him. Usually the streets were filled with cars, but luckily tonight it wasn't.

I packed the bag into the back before hopping into the truck. Harry came in after me, scooting into his seat before closing the door shut. It smelled like strong cologne in the truck, and when I looked over I saw a bottle that was sitting on the floorboard. It had been used so heavily that it was hard to read the label and identify the scent from where we sat.

"Harry! You came!" Nina clapped as she smiled wide back at him, her dimples prominent in her cheeks. Harry let out a nervous laugh, running a hand through his thick brown curls.

"Yeah..." He hummed. He sounded slightly unsure with his answer, but he did his best to match the excitement in Nina's tone.

Nina knew he was nervous, but we were going to try our best to make him feel more comfortable in our circle.

"Hey, what's up." Ryan's low, tangy voice came from him. My jaw nearly dropped to my lap when I heard his voice. It sounded so thick and deep. Looking at him, I didn't really expect him to sound like that.

Ryan was probably about the same height as Harry. He had dark brown hair that curled around the backside, but came outwards towards the front of his face. Brown eyes that were more golden than a deep brown.

He looked like he was meant to be with Nina from the way he looked. He just radiated Mr. Right for her. He had a very cool and relaxed demeanor about him.

"What do you go to school for, Harry?" Ryan looked in the rear view back at him as he drove off down the road.

"Uh, I major in science and astronomy." Harry nodded towards him, his fingers fiddling with the strings that frayed on his jeans. "What about you?"

"Computer Engineering." He said back. "It's boring to learn about, but it's fun to build computers."

"That's...awesome." Harry wasn't sure what to say. I chuckled at his response, shifting my weight in my seat.

"How old are you?" Ryan looked back at Harry in the mirror again. "You look young."

"Do I really?" Harry smiled cheekily as he looked down to study his body. "Well, I'm...twenty-one, so cheers. Thanks for that."

"I'm twenty-four." Ryan chuckled out at Harry's response. "You guys are practically babies."

"Hey! We are only a few years younger." Nina whined, nudging Ryan in the shoulder.

"Is twenty-four old?" Harry had leaned closely over towards me as he whispered into my ear. I let out a chuckle, glancing over to him.

"No, it's not." I whispered back to him, patting his hand softly.

"Oh..." His lip twitched up into a smile, turning his body towards Ryan again.

The place we were going to was out in the middle of nowhere, but thankfully it was only a thirty to forty-five minute drive. Harry kept staring out the window, and I could tell he was nervous from his leg lightly bouncing.

I was nervous too, honestly.

Ryan talked a lot about how he and his frat friends had parties a lot and that we should come with him. Instinctively, I had rolled my eyes at him without him seeing.

It was so weird to think about Nina dating a frat boy. He definitely had the qualities to show it by his tank that had slits down the side, paired with skinny jeans that were so tight you could basically see his dick imprinted in them.

Oh, and the backwards baseball cap was a dead giveaway.

Even with that, though, the way he talked about things so passionately made me think twice about him. When I would think about frat guys, I would mostly think about, well... dumb guys that did dumb shit and got drunk a lot.

Besides him getting drunk a lot, I had to give it to him that he was incredibly smart. Maybe there was more to him after all.

We finally pulled up to the large field. Ryan took the gravel road that led out towards the field, but then he took an unexpected hard right to drive straight into it.

Harry's brows furrowed together tightly, his fingers gripping his seatbelt as he scanned around the area from all the windows before looking at me with a curious look.

"It's okay." I whispered as I unbuckled my seat once we came to a stop.

He gave me a nervous smile as he also clicked his seatbelt off of him.

"I'll let the bed of the truck down." Ryan said as he turned the car off and then got out.

"I'm gonna help him." Nina said with a smile as she leaned back to grab the big luggage full of pillows that we had packed.

"Try not to shove your tongue down his throat by the time we get out." I chuckled, watching her face get bashful.

She left the car with a roll of the eye and a scoff, but a sly smirk spread across her face that told me she was definitely gonna have her tongue down his throat when we got out.

Harry scooted himself closer to the door, his body pressed against it as he stared out the window. Part of me felt a little bad only because I knew he was anxious to be around other people right now.

"We're gonna be stargazing." I told him softly as I scooted towards him. "Ryan seems to like you."

"Ryan is okay." He replied with his attention elsewhere, but I could tell he really meant it. Ryan did seem just okay. So far.

"C'mon, let's go outside so we can get in the bed of the truck." I nudged him softly with a smile.

He cracked a small smile back at me before opening the door. We got out of the car, and I had imagined it to be a bit colder, but it was just the right temperature. It wasn't too hot and it wasn't too cold.

We walked to the back of the car, and my eyes lit up at the sight of how comfy the bed had looked. Nina had laid down five thick blankets, with pillows scattered around for us to use if we wanted to lay down.

It was perfect.

I climbed up first, taking a spot next to Nina. Harry sat next to Ryan.

"This is so cute." I pouted, tilting my head towards the sky. "And the stars are really out tonight too."

"Tonight is gonna be so much fun." Nina chuckled as she nudged my arm. "Ryan brought some shots. Do you guys want one?"

"Yeah, they're uh... pineapple flavor." He said as he showed the small shots. They were in small clear bottles with the liquid sloshing inside.

"Sure, thank you, Ryan." I smiled as I took two from him. I glanced towards Harry out of the corner of my eye that was staring directly at the sky. He wasn't even zoning in on what was happening around him.

"Hey, Starboy!" Nina used her foot to tap Harry's thigh, a wide smile on her lips. "You want one?"

Harry looked towards Nina with a bit of a jolt, as if he wasn't expecting to come in contact with someone else. He squinted his eyes at the small bottle, then looked towards me.

I held out the second shot in my hand, a reassuring smile on my lips. "You don't have to take it. It's like the blue drink."

"Blue drink—Ah, yes." Harry chuckled nervously as he leaned forward to take it from my fingers. He examined the bottle, tilting his head side to side. "I think I will. Thank you, Ryan." He said quietly towards him as he tilted the shot towards him.

We all took the caps off of the bottle, holding it up in the air with a smile. Harry watched in curiosity, slowly raising his glass with the rest of ours.

"Cheers!" Nina chuckled.

"Cheers!" I smiled.

"Cheers." Harry repeated more shyly.

We all took the shot at the same time. Harry, though, had fallen behind. He was having a small problem with taking it all in one go and instead going with a sip.

He let out a cough, covering his mouth with his arm as he tried so desperately not to spill the shot on the blankets.

"Not a tequila man, huh?" Ryan chuckled as he hit Harry's back with a loud pop. His eyes widened, letting out another cough before shaking his head.

"It went down the wrong way, I think. Doesn't really taste the same as the blue one either." Harry cleared his throat, sending me a silly smile as he looked down at the drink once more.

"You don't have to—"

Before I could even finish my sentence, Harry took the drink and chugged it all the way down. His face scrunched as he did so, and his ring cladded fingers gripped at his jeans tightly.

"God damn, Harry." Nina laughed out. "You want another one?"

Harry shook his head with a sour look on his face as he placed the bottle to the side, waving his hand in front of his face.

"No, I think that's quite alright." He said thickly. "Maybe, uh... Later."

Watching Harry struggle with the shot was so pitiful, but I couldn't help but laugh anyways. It was funny the way he wasn't used to alcohol and the way his face twisted with the burning feeling that it left in his throat.

"We need some music!" Nina stood on the bed of the truck, placing a hand onto the roof of it before jumping over the ledge to the grass.

"Please don't turn on that electronic stuff. It gives me a headache." I begged as I watched her crawl into the driver's seat of the truck. Suddenly the music started to flow through the truck, and it got louder as she turned it up.

It wasn't too loud but just loud enough for us to hear it.

Sounds of guitars started to strum its way through the air, causing my body to start to relax more. I was thankful that Nina turned on something that we all liked. Usually she listened to really noisy music that was just too much for my brain to handle.

"Don't be a hater, Aurora." Nina pouted as she climbed over the ledge, pulling herself back onto the blankets. "You just haven't been to a rave yet, that's your problem. You should come with me sometime."

"I would rather eat rusty nails for breakfast." I teased her, crossing my arms over my chest. "Raves are not my kind of scene. You know that."

"But they could be!" She raised her arms in defense. "Don't knock it 'til you try it!"

"Babe, did you bring the joints?" Ryan nudged Nina. "Let's light up, c'mon."

"Oh, Aurora, did you roll the joints?" Nina jolted as she turned towards me with a smile. "Please tell me you did."

I rolled my eyes. "Did I bring the joints? Of course I did." I said as I brought out the small packaging from my bag. Harry shifted in his seat, staring at me curiously as he watched me bring out one of the cherry paper rolled joints from earlier.

"Fuck yes. Thank you, Aurora." Ryan smiled wide. "You're a lifesaver."

"You're gonna make my ego inflate, be careful." I teased as I placed it between my lips. I lit it with no effort, taking a slow, but long drag off of it. Smoke bellowed into the air, creating a stench of skunk immediately.

"It's been so long since I've smoked. My normal guy has been dry as fuck." Nina mumbled as she pouted her lips. "Gimme, gimme, gimme."

"So needy." I mumbled as I blew the smoke out, passing it off to her.

"Can I try some of that, Nina?" Harry said shyly, pointing towards the lit object between her fingers. "I, uh... I've never smoked before."

"Harry, you've never smoked before? No way! This is gonna be so awesome." Nina said excitedly as she scooted towards him with the joint in hand.

"Well, maybe—" I stopped Nina with my hand, taking it from her as I tsked. "Let me show him. You always end up getting first-timers way too high."

"That was one time and that shit was medical grade, okay? It's not my fault she couldn't hang." Nina pouted as she scooted back to her spot.

"Okay, whatever." I teased, handing it over to Harry with a smile. "Okay, so put your lips around this end and just take a really small hit. Inhale like you are breathing through your mouth, but uh... with your mouth closed."

Harry took the joint, staring down at the butt of it. He gave me nervous eyes for a mere moment, but I reassured him with a small pat to the knee and a nod.

He shrugged, clearing his throat before putting it to his lips. His cheeks drew in slowly, brows pinched tightly as he looked down at it.

"Hold it, Harry! Hold it in!" Nina cheered on as she laughed. "It'll get you higher!"

"Babe, you're gonna kill him." Ryan rolled his eyes, wrapping his arm around her to pull her close.

Harry took Nina's advice, but it was only for a few seconds before he started to cough up the smoke. A lot harder than he had coughed for the shot he took moments ago.

"It's okay. Hey, it's okay." I panicked slightly, taking the joint from his fingers before passing it off to Ryan from behind me. "Nina knows that's just a myth anyway. If anything, coughing will be more helpful with that." I replied, eyeing her purposely. She only winked at me in return, causing us both to giggle.

Harry was hunched over, covering his mouth as he coughed hard into his hand. I placed a soft touch to his back as I rubbed it carefully, nodding my head in understanding.

"It's normal, you're gonna cough a lot." I frowned. "Just don't listen to Nina next time. She tends to... do this to people."

He tilted his head up, his eyes slightly watery from the coughing. He let out a soft breath, rubbing at his eyes before turning towards me with an embarrassed expression.

"I didn't expect that." His voice was now raspy from the coughing fit. Harry ran a hand through his brown curls, sitting up straight as he tried to control his breathing.

"You okay?" I whispered as I found a seat next to him, putting my back against the truck with my legs stretched out.

"I feel a little weird... in my chest." He whispered back, placing a hand onto his heart as he drew in a long, slow breath. "Is this normal?"

"It's normal, I promise. You'll feel good in a second, just don't worry about smoking if you don't want to, alright? Sometimes too big of a hit can cause your chest to hurt from all the coughing." I nudged his arm. "We can just listen to music and lay here."

"No, I like it." Harry cleared his throat into his fist, shaking his head softly. His glazed eyes peered towards Nina and Ryan who were blowing the weed smoke into each other's mouth. His lips parted, shifting in his seat slowly.

"Ignore them." I whispered towards him with a roll of my eyes. "Hey! Stop hogging the weed!"

I leaned over, taking the joint from Nina's hand. She muttered something under her breath before wrapping herself back around Ryan. It was typical, I hadn't doubted they would be all over each other tonight.

Placing it between my lips, I took a slow, but long hit off of it. The smoke filled my lungs, burning my throat as I leaned back. It felt good to be smoking again, it had me questioning why I had even stopped for a bit in the first place.

"You're not gonna blow that into my mouth, are you?" Harry questioned with a nervous chuckle that followed after. I let out a soft breath, a smile curved on my lips as the smoke bellowed through my nose.

"No, don't worry."

Harry took the joint from me, taking a long draw from it. The cherry burned the wrapper as I watched him hold the smoke in before it spilled from his lips. He coughed into his hand, his eyes starting to become more and more hooded.

We sat there for sometime, listening to the music while my head leaned back against the truck to stare up at the sky. I kept glancing over towards Harry to make sure he was okay, and he was in the position that I was in. I hadn't noticed that he was staring up at the stars with me.

I had often wondered about what went through his mind. When he looked up at the stars, was he thinking about home? Was he contemplating? Was he thinking the same things that I did?

His mind, from what he had shown me, was beautiful and dark. It was ironic in a way, the way that he could look so happy on the outside, but yet have so many doubts and insecurities about himself. I could only wish that he would see himself the way that I saw him.

But I supposed other people could say the same thing about me as well.

I glanced towards him once again, seeing that he was looking directly at me. I bit back a smile, turning my head to look at him fully. His blood-shot eyes crinkled as he smiled at me, his dimples poking out. I parted my lips, my fingers tapping on my thigh.

"I–"

"You know what!" Nina said as she leaned up from Ryan's arms, spreading her arms out with a wide smile.

"I'm scared to ask." I mumbled softly. The high was now setting in, I could tell from the way my words were slightly slurred with the threat of giggles and my voice became lazy and raspy.

Nina tsked at me, leaning over to grab her purse as she sat it into her lap. Harry and I watched curiously as she brought out a small baggy that had small square foils in it. I wasn't a fool, I knew exactly what it was.

"Are you guys ready to really party?" Nina smirked as she handed me two hits of acid on their own pieces of foil. I stared down at them in my hand, a chuckle leaving me.

"What's that?" Harry whispered towards me, his brows pinching together tightly. I glanced out of the corner of my eye, nibbling on my lip carefully.

"This is acid." I said as I took the small pieces of paper out of the foil, placing them directly onto my finger. "It will make you feel really good. Colors will be a lot brighter and it's like, you're one with the Earth."

"I think I already am one with the Earth, Aurora." Harry chuckled, glancing towards Nina and Ryan who were already putting the hits onto their tongues.

"Do you wanna do it? You don't have to. I know it's all a lot at once, especially for someone not used to it." I turned towards him, holding my palm out. Harry looked down into my hand, his brow perking up. I knew Harry had never done anything like this before, but I would rather him do it with me than some random person he didn't know.

He would be a lot safer with us. With me.

"Uh..." He scratched the back of his head, pursing his lips. "What's it going to feel like?"

"You'll have to figure it out on your own. It's different for everyone, but just imagine pure bliss and euphoria." I placed a hit onto his finger, then one on mine as well. "Here, you can put one on my tongue and then I'll put one on yours."

"How long do you leave it on your tongue?" Harry frowned, looking down at the paper with curiosity.

"Just for thirty minutes or so and then you spit it out or swallow it. This kind doesn't dissolve." I told him as I raised my finger towards his mouth. "Open your mouth."

Harry let out a giggle, opening his mouth slowly before sticking his tongue out. I watched him in awe, a smile spreading across my lips before I did the same thing. I placed the hit onto his tongue, and he placed one on mine.

I closed my mouth, letting it settle on my tongue and making sure not to swallow it before I could give it time to kick in. Harry settled back against the truck, placing his hands into his lap as he brought his tongue back into his mouth. He stared down into his lap, not really saying much after that.

"Are you ready to really see the world now, Starboy?"

a/n: heyyy. just a reminder in case you didn't see sunny or i talk about it, but we're no longer doing scheduled updates. it had just gotten too much and this way makes it less stressful honestly. we still love starboy and are continuing to work on it, but we're allowing ourselves a little more freedom with it so i hope everyone understands! we also hope you guys still stick around and continue along the starboy journey with us <3

#harry styles #harry styles fic #harrys home #harry styles fanfic #harry styles wattpad #harry styles au #harry styles angel au #harry styles alien au #harry styles astronomy #harry styles astrology #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles alternate universe #harry styles ao3 #harry styles writer #harry styles fic rec #harry styles masterlist #harry edward styles #harry styles edit #harry styles album #harry styles writing #harry styles x reader #harry styles x oc #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #1d #one direction #1d fanfic

[hislittleraincloud]

... I'm so goddamn angry I could fucking

I am just so goddamn ANGRY.

But I'm usually not confrontational with this one. I probably should be, but yanno. Real life, we all gotta treat those in recovery with kid gloves because they're in recovery.

Except I know this one better than that. (Maybe it's my longtime experience with manipulators.) And I anticipated her next messages to the T, because I knew she was going to say what she said.

I can still keep working on Precious Things (the Miller's Girl fan fic)...its name could undergo a change, dunno yet, but it's coming along nicely. It's just a matter of a little bit of planning/logistics re sexytimes. The beginning and end are written! The middle is decent as well, but I've got the sex in a different file. As well as an epilogue that I dunno if I'll include yet...because it's kind of fucked up.

Anyway.

Yeah, my life. Poor me, I get to spend time with a cat. That's not the part that I...I just hate this crap of never knowing when she's ever going to message me/tell me shit. I hate it. I just wanna be left alone. But I don't want my bud upstairs to be left alone either. He's still the cat I raised from a kitten...and I feel so terrible that his mother is the biggest flake in the world who said she was going to message me YESTERDAY MORNING about what was going on and never did.

If my apartment was decent, I would just take the cat permanently. But it's not, and I already have the numeric limit for the city (we're only legally allowed up to three pets like this).

I've been cursing ever since I got her next messages, which I had predicted she was going to say. Not ready to come home...not ready to deal with the things in her apartment. Which is...fine, but there comes a time in someone's life where they have to face that music of being alone (either physically or psychically) and just being there for the little ones (fur or otherwise) that need us, too.

I took this last night when I was telling him that I wasn't sure when or if I'd see him again (I suspect that his mom might want to move out of here, but that's not feasible for her...her rent for that place is controlled and about half the going rate for this area...~$1400 monthly or so is cheap, since the rate is around $2K monthly and she made some implications that moving out is an option she's considering, but that she doesn't want to move out of the city 🤦🏽‍♂️). He's a handsome boy, and has been cuddling with me more often lately (he was never a cuddler before). And he needs me to be the adult here, since some addicts are incapable of growing up.

That may sound harsh, cold, perhaps ignorant. But as someone who has been literally tortured throughout my life by shitty people and shitty circumstance, I've rarely felt the need to drown or drug my sorrows away. And when I have, I've never felt out so out of control of my actions that I was compelled to reach into my pocket for money I don't have to purchase shit to poison myself to escape reality. It's just foreign to my brain, but yes, I understand that brains are very, very different, especially the brains of the worst addicts. Childhood trauma really fucks some people up, it sucks, and it has a lasting effect. Consistent traumas on top of that...smh. It's just so fucking sad that a 50-something year old's brain has been reduced to the existential panic of child-like helplessness.

Afterburn is suffering for it, and that's what I despise the most. I have big plans, my biggest fans have been given previews of it (some may even know what happens between Wenovan in the next installment post-canon). Yeah, that sounds selfish. I don't care. I started writing again because I don't have anything left but my creativity, and I've only last year got it back after it was beaten into the neurological mist by some fucking asshole who thought I was gay by the way I was dressed.

I think I'll take one of those shitty, sub par ecstasy pills (that Rehab Mom gave me) before I go up there tonight. Not to escape, but fuck, why not. All of this is giving me ideas for another fan fic for a totally different show, so maybe that's my thin silver lining?

ETA: It's very possible (after she finally messaged me back) that she'll be there through the end of the month.

🫥

Just kill me already.

#writer problems #writer probz #writing wednesday #writing miller's girl #fucking hell #addictions #addicts #recovery #all that bullshit #i'm just gonna keep watching loudermilk with the cat #fuck #i was gaybashed and still didn't kill my liver and remaining kidney because poor me #weaknesses

[gyahyahyahayhahayahyahyahyahyaha]

this IS ridiculous and stupid and im only perpetuating it and stewing in it but like my whole, at this point, instinctual, response to being in the presence of this shithead is to go 'i have to kill that shithread/myself' is part of the reason why things are still the same and only getting worse. because i did kinda chose some of the worst time wasting things to focus on all this time and it was in fact just only distracting myself from these thoughts. nothing more. cuz i mean i couldnt really function and do anything else otherwise not without acting on these thoughts. ive been trying to not act on these thougths for so long but i dont have TIME to distract myself from them anymore so like... lol. i ve wasted too much time simply distracting myself and not like. doing anything else that might have... allowed me to extricate myself from this fucking situation. i am yet again, simply just tryiing to offload some of this fucking rage and anger building up. and like. as per usual the same regular thoughts keep pouring in. "what is the point at this point, on not just simply succumbing"

regarless of how things have been since however long ago. i stil have this ingrained fear+anger response. i get so mindbendingly incensed at their mere presence. i was literally cursing and sweaing my fuckign ass off audibly yesterday because i didnt feel safe with them at my back. and of course just simply being around them just pisses me offf and of fucking course instead of doing anything about it they complains to someone else about it. i cant talkt o themn either. what good is that going to do. nothing meaningful or good is going to come out of it.

theres no point. theres no fuckign point. obciosuly i have to focus on what CAN be done antd the more important shit but like. man. cmon. thats the whole issue. I CANT. i cant fuckign focus. and i keep wasting time. whether to distract msyelf or just.simply wasting time. all this time i know ive been focusing on the wrong things but like also its been so hard just keeping up with my fuckign hygiene and like keeping the house clean and it only gets harder becuase we dont have a fucking working DISHWASHER or WASHER or DRYER. and also cuz fo like depression bullshit. i dont want to get into "listing excuses" territory but like. ive BEEN using lots of stupid excuses all thistime. but also like i imagine because that bitch piece of shit is tryna make a more focused effort to cut n run theres no way in hell we're getting any replacements anytime soon. which just again just is making me so mad. this is something ive dreamed of. for so long. now that that stoupid bastard bitch piece of shit is leaving. ive more or less ruined/burned all mybridges so like idk. and i knew this hatred and fear would poison and burn me inside out. and probably catch fire to whatevers near me.

i dont want to say its impossible cuz like... its not. thats the whole thing. but it IS its hard to focuson other things, enough to get them done and dealt with... and even more so when mynumber one go to thought is in fact, "whats the fuckitn point" and so it fuckign cycles

and so it has been these last 20+ years.

i dont want to be like this. buti have been. and even now after all this suicidal ideation and ideas and whatever about "disappearing quietly and without a trace" im still fuckign posting about it... wonder what that fuckign means lol

again. YES its fucking stupid that things are like this. ITS FUCKING PATHETIC i let things get to this point. that i didnt do anything worthwile to mitigate or even TRY really. i did. i used to. but i realied it was kinda fruitless to do what i was TRYING to do and i kinda gave up on everything else. and i internalized that kinda thinking for so ong that i just didnt do anything since then. its pathetic. i could have broken out of this. i could have done SOMETHIN to leave. i should have just run away as a child. I SHOULD have done anything. i should have done SOMETHIGN. i can still DO SOMETHING. BUT AGASIN. i just look at my options. all the shit ihave to do and go,

"WHATS THE FUCKING POINT"

and the only things that i can actually see myself doing are reaching out towards probalby the most extreme and (maybe) unrealistic options out there.

and i say unrealistic cuz if i havent done those things at any point up til now, what chance is there of me doing something now. or when i no longer have a choice......

.............................i still have a fuckign choice

i still have time i guess......

but...a gain that fucking pulsing, overbearing thought leering and looming over my head saying the same shit over n over an over again.

"what is the point"

i can think of some answers to that...... sometimes.

maybe....

but even then its like.

i did this. i let things get to this point.

i made the decisions i did that cut off almost all form of exit. of escape or whatever route coud be taken to get out of this fucking mire.

and im languishing in it like some fucking idiot instead of doing something.

ive ruined my chances and i shouldnt and cant expect help. because what the fuck is anyone going to do that can actually fucking help me. whos to say tha i wont make things worse for whoever does help me. me i guess but i mean like.

the answer has been clear to me for so long now.

leave this place and die in some hole.

OR stay here and languish until you die here or they call the police and whatever happens then happens lol.

......and i like. i know. whenever whatever ends up happening. how i feel now and i how i envision it happenig will more than likely be COMPLETELY different ffom what does actually end up happening. but like. im scared either way . if things go the way i envision them going or if things go the way i dont. im scared of it either way cuz neither will be good.

like far as im concerned my only REAL, feasible options are rotting out on the street, killing myself, going to some prision/mental hospital or all of the above. (and maybe also somewhere inbetween now and then, bleeding out due to whatever going on with my body OR complications arising from losing consistent amounts of blood every day forthe last few years on n off). and well i think i deserve it.

i..... for as long as i can remember. never could see a feasible or realistic future or myslef. i had all these ideas and ambitions based in what might as well be delusion/fantasy because i never realy put all that much time or effort into working towards making those ambitions real or feasible. and now even still i cannot see ahead of me. i cannot fucking envision what continuing to be alive would be. aside from rotting until im actually dead. and then rotting some more. i dont want to die where someone will find me.

ive never been able to see a future for myself.

and like yeah. sure. you can fuckign craft one or whatever...

but..................................

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT.

even when i come up with answers to that question that i feel should be pretty strong contenders they always. kinda. just. fall flat.

in the face of everything. else... what am i willing to do for those reasongs. what am i willign to sacrifice. what am i willing to fuckign do. what effort am i willing to put in. i never felt like i was able to honestly or accurately answer those fucking quesitons.

and so again. i just feel like everythign i have is just. upheld by falsehoods. and maybe it actually is. but like. what have i done to say or prove otherwise.

what am i willing to do to make it real.......

i dont know.

ive been doing this same shit for so long.

unable to answer the important questions in any sort of meaningful way that feels solid or real.

yelling at myself to just DO IT, whatever IT may be.

coming up with stupi dlil workaround and convoluted rituals to get myself to do the things I WANT to do. WHATEER that might be. or thigns i NEED TO do. and barely bein able to take care of myself. i mean fuck i live in this house on someone elses money. im NOT taking care of myself. but like ive been so focused on tryna at least clean up after myself that i like just. dont do anything else. except waste time. on shit that doesnt matter cuz i not putting in the effort to make it matter. to make something of it. i.... idk...

like id like to be able to say ive been doing SOMETHIN to get outta this situation. like i have so much shit to catch up on like been essentially.... COLLECTING resources for all the things i need to prepare and do in order to catch up on what nees to be done. collecting resources for... STARTING. but i see these documents and pages and stuf that they require and i just freeze. up. i see they require like other ppl's signatures and like all my personal information like my dead name and alls orts of other shit and i just freeze up. i look at the other boxes to fill out and imaybe ill fill them out. but then i look back at the others. i stop. and then i dont save my progress and then i just. look away. go do something else. distract myself. it just. keeps happening. it keeps fucking happening. i shouldnt have had this many chances to squander. to WASTE. i shouldnt have had this many chances and this much time to WASTE. but i did. AND I WASTED IT ALL. AND I DONT SEE THE POINT IN BOTHERING. LIKE. MAYBE. IDK. MAYBE I DO MAYBE ITS BOTH I DO AND I DONT.

its just been all this same damn stupid ass shit. all the time. what do i have to show for anything.... like maybe i can get some fucking hep if i go see a doctor. for about half a much as i say "i should kill myself" or some more detailed variant of that, i also say "i should go see a doctor" i think about all the shit i needto do for that and i just start thinking. " but like do i even deserve it?" shoul di not just throw all my fucking caution and fear to the wind and just say fuck it!!! and let me live up to all this bullshit ive been sayin about how i DESERVE TO SUFFER??? but like i want to throw my cowardice away. i want to get rid of that. but i have to be careful from now on if i want to continue to have some semblance of a life i can enjoy or whatever. i guess. idk. what does that even mean. for me..................

every time i get to this poitn where i think about shit like this (which is just way too often mind you... theres not a SINGLE fucking day that goes by wihtout me thiking about killing myself or some shit like everytihgn i talked about here) i just think or have some stupid naive hope that i can like yell at myself or logic or trick myself into doing something. anything worthwhile. and then i just sit and stew on these feelings and.......

DO NOTHING.

this really is some stupid worthless whiny baby bitch bullshit but like.... i have to do something or else languish and die. liike i have been all this time.

#idklolwww/

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Desperate Measures.

Pairing: Yandere!Kaeya/Reader (Genshin Impact).

Word Count: 2.2k.

TW: Kidnapping, Emotional Manipulation, Implied Stalking, and Delusional Mindsets.

Kaeya was a man, distracted.

Distracted. Divided. Not inattentive, but pulled away from his responsibilities by a force he couldn’t name and couldn’t say he cared for, either. He wasn’t a stranger to romantic inclinations — fantasies, sudden flings, slow-burning inclinations that died the moment his attention was called elsewhere. Predictably, the few relationships he allowed himself were short-lived, at best distasterous at worst, but he didn’t have a problem with that. If anything, Kaeya appreciated it. He’d always thought of company as optional, and what little loneliness he was still capable of feeling could be drowned with a generous glass of wine. He wasn’t one to linger. He tried not to overstay his welcome. He’d been sentimental, once, too emotional for his own good, and he’d learned his lesson. He didn’t intend to change.

He didn’t want to change.

And yet, here he was.

Distracted.

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t focus. It was all he could do to look like he might’ve been trying to read the most recent document left on his desk – this one from Jean, a directive for the younger knights or legislation she needed him to review or another vague, important report that he probably would’ve dealt with weeks ago, if he’d been able to concentrate.

He made a half-hearted effort to straighten his back as the door to his office began to open, but Kaeya dropped the act quickly, abandoning it completely by the time he heard the sound of heeled boots against hollow tile, caught a glimpse of a familiar (albeit, rarely used) catalyst, searched for eyes and found the cover of a thin book, instead, your face still buried in your newest novel as you stepped through the threshold, not bothering to knock. It was you. He should’ve known it would be. Who else did he deserve?

You, Lisa’s new assistant. You, the latest addition to the Knights of Favonius. You, his current, infuriating, unshakable fixation.

You, the new recruit who hadn’t paid him so much as a passing glance since your arrival, much to Kaeya’s frustration.

You didn’t look at him. You rarely ever did, but it hurt more than it usually did, today, as you dropped another form onto his desk, letting it replace the greeting you’d forgotten to offer. “Lisa needs you to sign this,” You started, laying out your priorities clearly, a skill Kaeya was beginning to resent. “It’s just next year’s budget. If you don’t want to read it, I think I’ll be able to look the other way.”

He glanced over the rows of numbers, the messy hand-writing, the columns of meaningless gibberish that blended together into a mess of ink and digits, and took your suggestion, scrawling his name across the only blank line. It was a lost cause, especially with you in the room. Especially with your unoccupied hand resting on his desk, your fingertips idly tapping an unsteady rhythm into the wood, and all he could think about was who he’d be willing to kill to feel that hand pressed against his cheek.

He considered asking you, for a moment, giving you an order and hoping you'd absent-mindedly obey. He thought about touching you, or running his fingers through your hair, or pulling you into his lap and mumbling sweet-nothings into your ear until someone else dragged you away.

He thought about a lot of things. Then, he said, “I take it your silence comes at a price?”

“Do I seem that selfish to you?” You were selfish. You had to be selfish. If you weren’t, then surely you would’ve been kind enough to put him out of his misery months ago. “I like helping people. Just remember this when I need a favor from you.”

“I’m sure we could work something more immediate out,” He went on, but you were already starting towards the door, calling the conversation to a close before Kaeya could begin to finish. In the back of his mind, something flared, the urge to catch your wrist, to go after you, to put himself between you and the only exit and refuse to move until you looked at him, but he forced it down, swallowing the temptation before it could eclipse his common sense. He couldn’t be impulsive. He couldn’t make rash decisions. He wasn’t prepared to deal with how difficult that would make things, not now.

Not yet.

“Join me for a drink?” He tried, again, attempting to sound unbothered. Nonchalant, casual, normal. Like he wasn’t itching to burn every book you’d touched. “I know you don’t have anything better to--”

“Another night, Captain.”

And just like that, you were gone, leaving Kaeya’s muttered response to echo through his empty office.

“Of course.”

~

Kaeya was a man, desperate.

Like a starving dog. Like a traveler who hadn’t seen water in thirty days. Like a distraught, distressed, disturbed knight, wandering through a maze of a library, cursing the existence of every shelf that separated him from you. He knew where you'd be. You were a creature of habit, and he’d already had more than enough time to memorize your routine. He’d had enough time to memorize everything about you, as ashamed as he was to admit it. It was a testament to his devotion, to how much time he’d spent trying and failing to win your favor.

It was evidence of how pathetic he’d gotten, over the course of his one-sided pursuit.

You were in your usual spot – tucked into the far corner of the library, perched on the edge of a windowsill, your attention monopolized by the tattered scroll spread across your lap. You were still pouring over it by the time he reached you, slumping against the nearest wall, taking in how brilliantly the muted sunlight looked as it danced across your skin. He didn’t try to hide the way he stared, anymore. He was long past worrying that you’d care enough to notice. Your hair was unkempt, proof that’d you slept in the archives again, if you’d slept at all. Your lips were bleeding, too, the lower one chewed raw and split down the middle, but it might’ve been stranger if they weren’t. It must’ve been a nervous tick, but Kaeya found it cute. Kaeya found it endearing. Kaeya found everything about you endearing, and to the archons, he wanted to see those lips wrapped around his co--

And he hated it. He found everything about you endearing, and he hated it. That was all.

He sighed, the sound airy, exhausted. You didn’t look up, but that was fine. It would’ve only hurt him further if someone as simple as that drew out your concern. “I’m in love with you.”

There was a hum, soft and contemplative. A rather generous response, by your standards. “I’ve noticed.”

“You’re all I think about.” It was an awkward confession, one he’d already used a hundred different times. He didn’t care. He’d use it a hundred more, if he had to. “I’m a wreck. I can barely remember my own name, and some days I can’t even do that. I can’t fight, I can’t eat, I can hardly breathe. Every morning, I wonder what it would be like to wake up to your smile, and every night, I stare at my ceiling and loath myself because I’m not holding you in my arms. For fuck’s sake, just yesterday, I almost kissed Albedo because the chemicals he was working with reminded me of the way your favorite kind of flower smells, and I’m just so fucking desperate, I convinced myself that was the closest I’d ever come to kissing you.”

He was rambling, by the end, panting, yelling, but you only blinked when he was done, once, then twice. Your dull nails bit into the edges of your scroll, but you didn’t seem to mind, nor did you move to roll it up as you finally turned to face him, the confusion written clearly across your expression. “You kissed Albedo?”

“You don’t get it,” He said, and you nodded in agreement. “You don’t fucking get it.”

“I think I do,” You admitted, more earnestly. Your gaze dropped back to the ground, and instantly, Kaeya deflated. “I just… I just don’t think it’d work out, if I’m being honest. I’m still new. I still have to give everyone else a reason to trust me, and I don’t think it’s in my best interest to start a relationship with one of my superiors so early on.” You paused, laughing to yourself, and something in Kaeya’s chest tightened. It was the happiest he’d been since he met you, and he still felt like you’d pushed a sword through his heart and twisted. “But, you don’t really want a relationship, do you? You’re just bored, and you need something to fixate on. I’m the most available option, so...” You trailed off, finishing your sentence with a vague, stilted sweeping gesture. “It’ll be easier for both of us, this way. I like you, Captain, but I don’t like you enough to put myself through that.”

It was all he could do to remember how to open his mouth. Once he did, the words came stumbling out on their own.

“Of course.”

~

Kaeya was a man, determined.

Determined might’ve been the wrong word for it. Too soft, too suggestive, the impression too positive and the meaning too vague. ‘Depraved’ might’ve suited him better, but that was too harsh, too primitive, and he’d like to think he’d been as gentle as anyone could expect him to be, given your stubbornness. He’d tried to be gentle. He’d wanted to be gentle. If he was going to do this to you, he could at least do it gently. You deserved that much, at least.

Or, maybe you didn’t. Maybe you didn’t deserve any of this.

He couldn’t really make up his mind, about that.

“Lisa?”

And he was gentle, more so than he had to be. Sure, you were on the floor, bare stone already beginning to chafe at your skin, but the shackles around your wrists were padded, and he’d given you enough slack to sit down, to ball yourself up, to act like it’d never crossed your mind that he’d resort to something so… easily misinterpreted. The blindfold was, similarly, an act of mercy. You’d panic if you woke up like this, chained to a wall in someone else’s cellar, and Kaeya didn’t want that. You needed time, and he could give you that. He would give you that. Even if it pained him to stay at arm’s length.

“Amber?”

He wanted to touch you. It’d be easy, now, easier than it’d ever been before. You wouldn’t be able to push him away, and even if you tried to, he could always overpower you. Take you by the neck, pin you against the floor, leave you shaking and trembling and begging, pleading with a captor you couldn’t see. He’d find a way to make it up to you, later on. He’d find a way to lie, to smile, to make it better, even if he’d failed to time and time again, out there. But, this would be different. You wouldn’t be able to cling to your excuses, and he’d be able to show you how much he cared, how much he wanted this, how much he loved you. This would be better.

“Kaeya?”

See? You were already coming around.

Your voice was already soft, hesitant, a sliver of a whisper that was constantly on the verge of dying out completely. You were trying not to make noise, trying not to seem as terrified as you really were, but he could hear the way your breath hitched as he took a step forward, your restraints rattling as you curled into yourself. You couldn’t hide from him, but you wanted to. That much was obvious. You didn’t want this.

But, he did. More than you could ever want to run away from it.

He wanted to touch you, but he held himself back. Instead, he only kneeled in front of you, letting himself linger for a moment before he spoke. “I’m here, love.”

“Where are we?” You were afraid, too scared to put the pieces together. Not while you could still hope there was another explanation. Not while you could still deny the apparent. “My head hurts, and I can’t--”

“I know, and I’ll make it up to you.” This time, he let himself reach out, cupping your cheek and chuckling as you tried to shy away. The two of you could work on that, later on. He could live with the guilt if he let himself enjoy it, now. “Just give me a moment, alright? Just a second, then I’ll take care of you.”

You opened your mouth, then you closed it again. Kaeya wondered if you’d be bold enough to refuse if he did try to kiss you, or hold you, or go further than the fleeting touches he’d swore would keep him satisfied, at first, at least. He wondered if he’d care, when you did. “Are… are you going to hurt me?”

He wanted to reassure you. He wanted to promise he’d be patient, that he’d understand if you lashed out, that violence wasn’t an option he was willing to consider, but he couldn’t, like this, could he? He didn’t want to hurt you, but he’d never wanted to kidnap you, either, not until you made it obvious he didn’t have another choice. He didn’t want to stoop so low, he didn’t want you to hate him, but…

But, he was lying again, wasn’t he?

To tell the truth, he couldn’t remember the last time he genuinely cared whether or not you loved him back.

You stifled a scream as his hand dropped to your jaw, his grip tightening as he jerked you forward, just close enough to wrap his arm around your waist, to bury his face in the side of your neck, to get a taste of what you’d deprived him of. It wasn’t enough, he doubted it’d ever be enough, but he had you. He had you, he was close to you, and he had you. That had to be enough, for now.

“We’ll see.”

#yandere #yandere love #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere prompts #yandere imagines #yandere scenario #yandere oneshot #genshin impact #yandere genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genshin imagines #yandere genshin #genshin x reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere kaeya #yandere kaeya x reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya x y/n #yandere fantasy #yandere fanfiction #yanderecore #yancore

[citrusdarling7]

jealously

summary- Tom Riddle becomes jealous of reader’s boyfriend and decides to take matters into his own hands

warnings- smut, cheating, degrading, edging, and a bit of light choking. dom! tom, sub! reader

🗡—————————————————————🗡

I’ve never been much of a morning person, but for some reason I was up early today. I knew that I had a potions essay due tomorrow, and I was behind on it. Still in my silky nightgown, I assumed no one else would be in the common room. To my surprise, Abraxas was sitting in front of the fireplace. I smiled and tip-toed over to him, wrapping my arms around his chest from behind him. He squeezed one of my hands gently, acknowledging my presence.

“Darling, why are you up? It’s barely 5 am,” he told me softly. I rolled my eyes and swiveled around the couch so I could sit down next to him.

“I should be asking you the same thing, Malfoy. Oh my God, what happened to your face?” Even in the dim lighting of the Slytherin common room, I could see the dark purple bruises around one of his eyes. I gently reached up to try and touch him, but he turned his face to the side.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. Did you sleep well?” He tried to change the subject, but I didn’t let up.

“Brax, what the hell happened? Please tell me that the other guy looks worse,” I said while positioning myself closer to him. I gently ran a finger along his jawline in a comforting gesture. I could smell his sage wood cologne, which I absolutely adored.

“Truthfully darling, I think I’m lucky I walked away without him cursing me. He was absolutely livid after you left.”

Of course. I was such an idiot. Tom had done this to him.

Late last night, Abraxas and I were kissing in the corridor when we decided we wanted to go somewhere more private. Abraxas knows how to find the Room of Requirement, and he dragged me inside, still kissing my neck and holding onto my waist. Unfortunately for us, all of the other 6th year Slytherin boys were already there, brewing some type of illegal potion. Not only had Abraxas forgotten he was supposed to meet with them that night, but he had also exposed me to what was happening.

Although some people would believe so, I’m not naive to what goes on in this school. I know about Tom and his pursuits in dark magic. I know about their constant fights with those Gryffindors who all wear that one lion pin. But Tom seemed to believe that I had no prior knowledge of these secret meetings, and he instantly started yelling at us.

“Malfoy, you idiot! You are not supposed to bring back girls to this room, and certainly not when we’re in the middle of illicit activities!”

Rosier and Avery were still sitting by the cauldron, doing nothing to help the situation. I stepped away from Abraxas and turned towards Tom.

“Calm down, Riddle. You and your superiority complex need to learn that not everyone’s life revolves around yours,” I spat at him. Tom took a step closer to me, and I instinctively reached to pull out my wand. Before I had a chance to, I felt the back of my head being slammed against the wall, Tom’s hand gripping my throat tightly. Abraxas and Rosier both shouted for Tom to let go of me, but I just smiled. I stared him down, letting him know that I wasn’t afraid of him.

“You’re not allowed to speak to me that way,” he growled.

“I can speak to you any way I want Tommy.” His eyes looked as if he wanted to strangle me, but I saw the trace of a smile play across his lips. He abruptly let go of me and turned towards Abraxas.

“You need to keep your girlfriend under control. Get out of here.” Abraxas quickly grabbed my hand and started to pull me towards the door.

“Not you, Malfoy. Your presence is still required here.” I opened my mouth to tell him off again, but Abraxas quickly shook his head.

“Go back to the common room, darling. I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?” I reluctantly sighed, but figured that I shouldn’t piss Tom off even more. I should have known that Tom would still be angry with Abraxas.

Flashing back to present time, I turned around to look towards the boys dormitories. Abraxas could tell what I was thinking, so he gently squeezed my hand.

“Leave it alone, dearest. He was fine the rest of the night, confronting him will just make him mad again. I don’t want you to get hurt, my love.”

I’m not one to back down easily, and I constantly let my temper get the best of me. But Abraxas’ soft touch against my leg and heart-felt words relaxed me a bit.

“Alright. I won’t say anything. Have you done Slughorn’s essay yet?”

We spent the next hour or so alone in the common room, trying to hastily finish up homework. By the time that others started waking up, I was sitting in his lap, my hands in his hair as we kissed passionately.

“You two are disgusting. 20 points from Slytherin,” a cold voice said. I rolled my eyes and gave Abraxas a quick peck on the lips before sliding off of him and back onto the couch. Tom was Head Boy, and he had no problem with taking points from his own house. He had a lot of nerve as well. Almost every single night I watched him drag some girl into his room. She always left limping a few hours later, and Tom never spoke to her again.

“Put some clothes on. You’re dressed like a whore,” he spat at me. I scoffed at him, but got up to head back to my room anyways. As I slipped on my school robes and brushed out my hair, I couldn’t stop thinking about Tom.

The rest of the day went by pretty quickly. I managed to get through all of my classes without speaking a word to Tom. After watching the Slytherin quidditch team practice while gossiping with Lestrange, I sat with Rosier and Abraxas in the common room. Rosier made me play chess with him, beating me every single time. This was strange, since I considered myself an excellent chess player. I guess I was just a little distracted. Abraxas excused himself to his dorm room, saying that he had a ton of homework to do. He gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek before leaving.

“Something on your mind?” Rosier asked me. I sighed and slumped down in my chair.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m still kind of upset about what happened with Tom. Why do you guys let him treat you all so awfully?”

“It’s not as simple as that. Being friends with Riddle has advantages and disadvantages. The occasional hex or punch to the face isn’t much of a price to pay.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

“One of these days I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch,” I said with a grin. Rosier chuckled and patted my arm.

“Good luck with that.”

A few hours later I was lying in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I had been trying desperately to fall asleep. But something was still on the back of my mind, and that something was preventing me from being able to relax. I let out a sigh and rolled out of bed. I slipped out of my room and quietly walked down the stairs, into the common room. I then made my way up the stairs leading to the boys dormitory. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door at the end of the hallway. He opened the door, and my nostrils were instantly filled with the smell of smoke. Tom stood inches away from me, still in his school uniform. He was holding a lit cigarette between his fingers.

“Did you need something, sweetheart?” I rolled my eyes at his stupid pet-name.

“You are absolutely insane, Riddle! You walk around this damn school like you own the place, and I’m sick of it.” He smiled and offered out his arm to me.

“If you’re going to yell at me, then you might as well do it behind closed doors,” he offered. I didn’t take his hand, but I did step inside and let him shut the door behind me. Since he was Head Boy, his room was bigger than all of ours. I could see that his window was open, probably because of the smoke. His bed had black silky sheets adorning it, and I could see all of the books on his desk were neatly stacked. His box of cigarettes was laying on his nightstand.

“So did you come here just to tell me off or did you want a smoke as well?” he taunted.

I turned around to face him again.

“I want you to stop hitting my boyfriend. And the rest of the boys. You have to learn how to respect others.” He chuckled darkly while taking a step towards me.

“Darling, that’s a pretty demanding request. My respect has to be earned.” In an attempt to look more confident, I crossed my arms across my chest.

“You’re such a child, Tom. I don’t know why you think that everyone worships you!” I shouted at him. He quickly wrapped his free hand around my neck and pushed me against the wall. He flicked his cigarette to the ground and stomped it out.

“That’s because everyone does. Everyone except you it seems.” I don’t know why Tom had this constant need to slam me up against the wall and choke me. It didn’t make me afraid of his dumbass.

Honestly, it was kind of hot. He brought his other hand up to my face and he touched my cheek softly.

“Did you and Malfoy ever finish what you started yesterday?” It took me a moment to realize that he was asking if we had fucked.

“That’s none of your business,” I snapped at him. He tightened his grip on my throat and used one of his legs to pin down mine.

“Answer my question.”

“No, I haven’t slept with him. Why do you care?” Tom brought his head down to my neck and whispered into my ear.

“Because I’m not into sloppy seconds.” Before I had a chance to mention the fact that he probably had over twenty bodies, he started kissing me roughly. I kissed him back and wrapped my leg around one of his. I let him suck on my neck as he pushed my thin nightgown up my leg and slipped one of his hands under it. He started to slowly rub circles on my thigh. He continued to suck on my neck as I tried to grind against him. He growled and used his other hand to push my waist back against the wall.

“None of that. Do you want me to touch you, darling?” he asked in a mocking tone. I nodded and he slipped his fingers into my underwear.

“Someone’s a needy little slut,” he whispered. Part of me wanted to call him a man-whore, but the part of me that valued my life kept me quiet. I felt him push two fingers inside me and I whimpered. He started to rub my clit with his thumb as he thrusted his fingers in and out of me. He started kissing my neck again as I moaned quietly. He was going incredibly slow, making me desperate for every touch. At a particularly sharp pressure, one of my legs twitched and I had to bite my lip to stop from making noise. Tom chuckled and tilted my chin towards him.

“Didn’t you come here to yell at me? Are you going to yell at me now, darling?” He started to rub me faster, which made it difficult for me to even speak.

“I hate you,” I was able to mutter. He laughed and pinched my waist roughly, making me jump. After only a few minutes, I was starting to get close to my peak. I felt my legs start to shake as I bit my lip to stifle my moans. Tom noticed this, so he stopped touching me. I frowned as he leaned down to whisper into my ear.

“Did you really think I was going to let you come that quickly?”

Before I had the chance to respond, he grabbed my legs and spun me around, pushing me onto his bed. He quickly tugged my nightgown off of me and started to take off his shirt. I tried to reach up and help him, but he used his free hand to push me back onto the bed. He quickly unbuckled his belt and kicked his pants off before getting on top of me. I felt his member pressing against my thigh. He wrapped a hand around my throat again and used the other hand to gently rub one of my hips.

“Is this what you want? Me to fuck you senseless while your boyfriend sleeps two rooms over?” I felt him rub against my clit, teasing me purposefully. I decided that I wouldn’t tell him that me and Abraxas weren’t actually dating until later.

“Tom-”

“Shut up,” he growled before thrusting into me sharply. As he rocked into me, I definitely felt a bit of pain. He was bigger than what I was used to, but I was adjusting quickly. I tried to rest my arms on his shoulders, but he didn’t like that. He pinned my hands above my head and started to attack my neck with his mouth.

“If you do that again, I’ll tie you down. Don’t test me,” he muttered. He continued to rail into me over and over, hitting me at just the right angle. In less than ten minutes I was close again. I tightly clenched the sheets and tried to grind my hips against his to alleviate some of the tension. That’s when he slipped out of me with a grin.

“Not yet, sweetheart,” he said while stroking my hair.

“Are you fucking serious?” I complained.

“Completely. Be a good girl and maybe I’ll let you finish before the night is over.”

I will admit, his self-control was pretty impressive. Most guys wouldn’t be able to handle pulling out before they had finished. But I also figured that he was just bluffing. There was no way he would be able to do this for more than twenty minutes. After 30 or so seconds of him attacking my mouth with his tongue, he thrusted into me again. This time his strokes were a bit slower and more gentle. He rubbed one of my arms lightly as he made me shiver at his touch.

“Tom, oh my God,” I moaned into his neck. I assumed he was going to tell me to shut up, but I guess he liked knowing how good he was making me feel.

“That’s right, darling. You like this?” I nodded my head as he pressed soft kisses against my jawline. I was definitely pleased with his change of pace. The slow stroked and gentle kisses made this feel a bit more like a normal thing. But of course, that didn’t last very long. Once he was done leaving hickies all over my neck, he wrapped his hand around it. He started to press himself deeper inside of me, rocking me into his bed. I whimpered as he hit a spot that made my legs twitch.

“Quiet, slut,” he demanded. I tilted my head slightly away from him, trying to stifle my moans with one of his pillows. I was panting at this point, desperately gripping onto the sheets.

“Could Malfoy make you feel this good?”

“Yeah, if I was with him I would’ve came by now,” I thought to myself. However, I shook my head in an attempt to appease him.

“That’s right. Should I let you finish now?” I nodded and he jerked my face back towards him. “Alright. Beg for it.” That actually made me laugh. There was no way I was going to give into him that easily. Tom shrugged and continued to pound into me. “Be difficult then. I don’t care either way.”

I bit down my lip to muffle a scream as my stomach flipped and my legs shook. Right when I was about to be sent over the edge, he pulled out of me again. By now, I was completely fed up with him. I tried to bring one of my hands down between my legs, but he was quicker than me. He grabbed both of my arms and roughly pinned them above my head.

“I don’t think so, dear. I want the whole hallway to hear you screaming my name,” he said while stroking my cheek tauntingly.

“Good luck with that,” I said with an eye roll.

“You’re mine now. No one gets to touch you but me,” he muttered into my ear before thrusting into me again. By now I could see finger-shaped bruises starting to form on my waist. We had been going at it for at least 35 minutes, and my body was aching for release. I was confident that he had left at least 5 or so hickies on my neck, which I was not looking forward to having to cover up tomorrow. Out of instinct, I tried to move my leg around his to adjust the angle. Tom slammed me down onto his bed roughly.

“Don’t fucking move,” he growled. He pressed one of his thumbs against my clit, making me whimper. I was so frustrated that tears had started to stream down my face. Tom gently wiped them away with his free hand.

“Are you gonna apologize for yelling at me earlier?” he asked in a snarl. I shook my head, which made him chuckle.

“That’s what I thought. If you’re gonna be like that, you clearly haven’t learned your lesson.” He started to kiss roughly at my collar, obviously trying to mark me more. After a few minutes of listening to me whine and pant, he decided to give me another chance.

“Promise me you’ll stop hanging around Malfoy,” he said softly. That kind of threw me for a loop.

“What? Why?” He nibbled on my ear lobe and thrusted into me sharply.

“You’re my little slut now. I don’t want him touching you. Promise me.” I instinctively shook my head, which only made his thrusts even harder.

“Promise me, darling. Like I said, I can go all night.” I really, really wanted to keep my mouth shut. But I was so overwhelmed, I couldn’t take much more.

“Fine. I promise. Please Tom, I-”

He bit down on my lip and thrusted into me at the perfect angle and speed.

Over-and-over again.

I moaned his name as well as a stream of profanities as waves of pleasure tore through my body. My legs were shaking so bad that he had to actually hold them down. While I was riding out my high, Tom muttered praises into my ear. I was so extremely sensitive that every touch set off fireworks against my skin.

“Take me like a good girl,” he said before roughly grabbing my throat. It took him a few minutes to finish himself off, but when he did it was so hot. He didn’t even bother to pull out. He continued to kiss me for a bit before he got up and started to walk towards his bathroom.

“Now, get the hell out of my room, whore.”

I smiled at his lovely term of endearment as I tried to quickly pull my clothing back on. I stood up quickly, and my legs gave out beneath me. Tom laughed as he put on his bathrobe.

“You’re pathetic,” he said while helping me up. Surprisingly enough, he walked me back to my dorm, smiling the entire way. Before he turned to leave he pushed a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Sleep well, darling.” I flashed him a sweet smile.

“You too, Riddle.”

#tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle smut #smut #tom riddle oneshot #oneshot #harry potter #hogwarts #slytherin #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle fanfiction #fanfic

[thefanficmonster]

Filterless

Corpse Husband x Plus-sized Reader (Female)

Warnings: Body Image Insecurities, Low self-esteem, Swearing

Genre:  Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Feeling comfortable in her skin has hardly ever been the case for Y/N who’s been struggling with body image issues all her life. However, they only get worse when she sees the ‘type’ of girls her crush is into.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your request (hits close to home 😅) I’m so sorry it has taken me so long to fulfill it and post it but here it finally is and if you’ve stuck around long enough to read it, I hope you enjoy! ALSO! - Never forget how beautiful and amazing you are. Never compare your beauty to someone else’s. We’re all beautiful people and we all shine so brightly and uniquely. No one deserves to be compared to anyone when we’re all so different yet so incredible. Love you and appreciate you with all my heart, Vy ❤

If I ever need my ego taken down a few notches - it never does, it’s barely even present, to be honest - all I have to do is go on Instagram. To be honest, regardless of how I’m feeling, opening that app is bound to make my mood plummet and come crashing into the ground so hard it drives a hole in it - probably in the form of a broken heart.

Being a content creator myself, I often get asked questions about my absence on that social platform specifically. I mean, the questions are based and rational I guess, considering I’m not a faceless YouTuber and yet my Instagram account is void of any photos. It’s not like I don’t post at all - I do! I post on my story often but it’s more often than not scenery I find pretty or a poster I’ve made for a movie/video game. Bottom line is: I barely ever allow a picture of me to make it online. The most my fans are ever gonna get of me is a selfie which is also a super rare occurrence because of how long it takes me to take and choose one I don’t hate.

Ok, but how am I supposed to find the motivation to post any sort of picture of myself when on my timeline I’m always faced with people worthy of posting pictures of themselves. People with such perfect bodies and beautiful faces. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous or envious of those people - good for them! They know what they’re working with and they’re working it well. I have nothing against them, in fact, I love seeing people proud of their bodies no matter their size, shape or weight. Those are my role-models: people who are proud of themselves, their bodies, their attributes and capabilities and don’t hesitate to show them off. Those are the people I look up to but, deep down inside I know I’ll never be like.

Insecure about my body, having been referred to as ‘chubby’ and ‘squishy’ all my life. Inappreciative of the stuff I do: starting from my job as a graphic designer leading towards my job on YouTube - nothing I do, professionally or otherwise, satisfies me. Nothing I do is enough in my eyes because I feel incapable of ever being able to do enough. I’ve been called lazy and a half-asser a few too many times to be able to brush it off as a meaningless insult. 

With these problems I’ve had with myself and my own perception of who I am and the work I do, I’ve never had the time for romance or romantic relationships. I second-guess the intentions of everyone who ever shows any interest in me because in my mind I’m nothing special and I have nothing to offer - nothing attractive or likable at least. That being said, I haven’t even been one to make heart eyes at others either. I busy myself with my job and some side-gigs, brushing off any relationship questions with the excuse that I’m ‘just too busy to be in a relationship’ which is technically true.

Having spent twenty plus years with that mindset, one can imagine how surprised I was when I found myself catching feelings for someone. And that someone just couldn’t be any other than the biggest YouTube sensation at the moment - Corpse Husband.

I’m close friends with Poki - her and I were roommates at one point too - so her inviting me to play Among Us with them wasn’t so strange. One or two games, I thought, nothing unusual there, just friendly curtesy. I wasn’t expecting to warm up to the group of famous streamers nor did I expect them to welcome me among them so easily, mostly because my channel is so small and practically invisible to the YouTube algorithm. But soon enough, I became a permanent member of the team, making friends with every single one of those YouTubers I practically thought of a celebrities.

This journey of branching out to other content creators has proven itself to be surprisingly pleasant and has packed my book of friendships to the brim. All of that came unexpectedly, along with a wave of new subs and a higher view count. However, as I mentioned, it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. I came to finally understand what my high school friends were talking about when they were head over heels for a boy - the butterflies in the stomach whenever he speaks your name; the importance of the laugh you share with him, how special and different it is; how cool it is to be impostors with him - ok they never said that, obviously, but it’s what I have as a substitute to the ‘when the two of you make eye-contact’ bullshit since Corpse and I have never seen each other in person. That is, of course, because of him being a faceless YouTuber and me being a self-conscious and insecure girl.

We do talk all the time though - texting, calling, chilling on Discord, you name it. Our conversations range from deeply philosophical to ones that might mislead someone into thinking we’re high. There’s no topic we haven’t touched upon and yet we still manage to find something new to talk about. We have plenty of similarities but we also never seem to run out of differences we slowly come across as we keep getting to know each other better and better. 

And somewhere along that journey I ended up catching feelings.

Human nature of wanting to connect with other people, I curse you for what you’ve done to me.

You might think I’m being overdramatic about the whole ordeal and that this is just a normal, natural occurrence many people experience in their life - some even daily. Well, not only am I far from used to it, but it’s also taking a toll of a different kind on me.

It’s like a constant slap to the face. 

That slap turned into a punch when Corpse and I started following each other on Instagram and I started getting daily reminders of how out of my depth I am with this crush on him. In over my head, especially when you look at all those girls whose pics and videos he reposts on his story. Imagine how that makes me feel, what that does to me - puts me back into the ‘Constantly not good enough‘ basket, the one I’ve been fighting to get out of all my life. In the past and in different contexts I could easily say that it was all just my mind hating me intensely but now - now that I know for a fact I’m not good enough and don’t fit Corpse’s criteria - it hurts ten times as much. I’m not one to do shit for someone’s attention or to attract someone’s eyes, but it really hurts my feelings. Often times, it also leads me to doing dumb things and making rash decisions. 

Like the one I made two days ago.

Imagine me cringing and shaking my head at my own stupidity as I admit this: I, in a frenzy, ordered a whole e-girl getup with overnight delivery. 

Wait, hold up, it gets worse. 

I received it yesterday and spent the whole day regretting that decision, but then, in my most insecure hours - which was somewhere around midnight - I equipped the get-up, took a picture and posted it on my Instagram page. First full body pic I’ve ever posted on there. First pic I’ve posted there of any kind. There to stay, not to be gone in twenty four hours. First pic, and it’s not even of me. It’s of who I want to be in order to fit someone’s criteria. And that fucking stings.

As you might imagine, I’ve spent today’s day regretting that decision as well. Recently my mood’s been nothing but regretting rash decisions that have surfaced under the influence of my ridiculous, constantly-present insecurities. And I would’ve probably gotten over it rather quickly had I not received a message from Corpse that read:

“Didn’t think of you with an e-girl aesthetic“

I didn’t open the message, I peeped at it as it was a notification on my lock screen. It’s still there, an unread notification. It’s been two hours since I received it and I cannot think of a single thing to say in response to that. 

Truth is, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of so many things right now.

I’m afraid of becoming that girl in the photo, cause I’m most definitely not her.

I’m afraid of letting Corpse down by admitting I’m not her.

I’m afraid of what my own mind has made me do because it hates me so much and I’m terrified of what it might do in the future.

I’m afraid and stranded on things to do.

You can’t be her forever, you know. Being her won’t make your insecurities go away, it’ll only make them worse. Haven’t you learned that by now?

I sigh, frustrated and irritated with myself as I grab my phone and tap on the notification, finally deciding to face the music and allow my instincts to carry me through the interaction. Improvisation, that’s one of the few things I’m good at. Let’s hope it doesn’t fail me.

I’m just about to type out my response - not sure what it’s gonna say - when I give the message Corpse has sent me a second glance.  I furrow my brows, finding there’s more to it than that peep through the notification let me see.

“Didn’t think of you with an e-girl aesthetic. You’re personality is so bright and colorful, I could’ve never imagined you were into the darks and blacks“

Because I’m not

I fail to realize until the message has been sent that my thoughts are exactly what I typed out and sent.

And honestly, I’m glad. It feels like I’ve spoken my truth, like I’ve lifted a huge boulder off my chest.

With that rare confidence in mind I go on and delete the picture.

In its spot, I post a picture I just now took - a mirror selfie in my homey get-up consisting of hot pink sweatpants and an oversized blue tee, my hair in a messy bun, my face free of make-up.

I caption it: ‘Oops, had the e-girl filter on for the last one. This is filterless me tho so...Hi 🥴’

A lot better, I’m surprised to hear my inner voice say. I hope I don’t get used to all this kindness on my brain’s part, probably won’t last, but damn if I don’t milk every second of it.

Just then, I receive a new message from non other than Corpse.

“Now that’s the girl I see when I think of you. She’s super cute 😉“

My, oh my, who would’ve guessed Corpse has a game like that - and by that I mean the ability to make me blush so intensely with only a text message.

Now ain’t that better than being someone else, Y/N?

It sure is, it sure is.

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#corpse husband #corpse #corpse fanfiction #corpse fic #corpse fluff #corpse fandom #corpse fanfic #corpse x y/n #corpse x you #corpse x reader #corpse imagine #corpse imagines #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fanficiton #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband fluff #corpse husband fic #corpse husband imagine #corpse simp #corpse husband is ruining my life #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #fan #fandom #fluff #requests open #request

[morganaspendragonss]

hiya. could you write a fic where tk has a panic attack from carlos’s pov? 😘🧡

i can indeed! this is combined with an idea jamie ( @silvarafael ) had and very kindly allowed me to write - i hope you both enjoy! the first section is also based on a vague idea i had after watching the ep.

ao3 | 1.9k | 2.10 spoilers

TK is silent the entire drive home, choosing instead to stare out the window with his jaw firmly clenched, his hands making fists in his lap. The silence extends all the way into the house, right up until the point when he flops down on the couch with a loud, frustrated sigh, burying his head in his hands. 

At this point, Carlos knows not to push when TK is like this; he’ll talk when he wants to, and not a moment before. So he simply walks over, sitting next to him and placing a hand on TK’s back, rubbing gentle circles. TK slowly relaxes under his touch, unfurling his body, and Carlos is all too happy to let him shift into his arms, holding on and pressing kisses on the top of his head.

I’m here, he’s saying - not with words, but he knows the message gets across regardless. It may have only been less than a year since they started dating, but already they don’t always need words to communicate.

“I’m sorry if you were uncomfortable back there,” TK says suddenly. “I know my dad kind of dragged you into it all, and that must have been awkward for you.”

“It wasn’t my favourite interaction with your dad ever,” he admits.

TK snorts. “Understatement,” he mutters, and Carlos laughs, tilting his head in agreement. “I am sorry, though, really,” TK continues. “It was amazing of you to even be there; you didn’t have to be. I’m sure there are hundreds of places you’d rather be than an intervention session for my dad.”

“You mean supporting my boyfriend through something difficult and important?” Carlos corrects gently, shifting to catch TK’s eyes. “Because there’s nowhere I’d rather be than there.”

TK blinks at him, managing to hold his gaze for all of two seconds before he blushes and looks away. He takes Carlos’s hand, tapping restlessly on the back of it - a sure-fire sign he’s still worked up about something, so Carlos leaves him be, waiting for it to come out.

“Is it bad that I’m pissed at him?” TK’s voice is quiet, small, and it’s mirrored in his body language when he turns to Carlos, drawing his legs up and hunching his shoulders. “I’ve spent my entire life trying to connect with him, and it just feels like he’s constantly throwing it all right back in my face. And he’s… He’s such a fucking hypocrite. Ever since my first overdose, he’s been going on and on about how good it is to talk about my feelings and how I shouldn’t keep things bottled up, yet he insists on hiding this shit from me.”

TK laughs, short, sharp, bordering on hysterical. “He didn’t even tell me when he was fucking dying; I had to find that out by myself. And I’ve tried. I haven’t stopped trying.” He deflates, sinking back into Carlos with a defeated sigh. “But there’s only so much I can take, you know? I can’t… I can’t keep doing this, Carlos.”

Carlos’s heart breaks for his boyfriend. He wishes he could take the pain away; as it is, all he can do is hold him, and hope that he has enough words to at least dull the ache somewhat.

“It’s not bad to feel what you feel, TK.”

TK looks up at him, eyes wide. “You don’t think so?”

He shakes his head, kissing him again. “No. I think… I think your dad has treated you pretty unfairly, actually, and you’re well within your rights to be mad at him right now. But, I also think that you said it yourself; there’s only so much you can do. Before you can take care of your dad, you have to take care of yourself, and you can’t do that if you’re worrying over him.”

If TK’s eyes were any wider, it’d be comical. “But -”

“No buts.” Carlos smiles tightly, keeping his tone gentle. “TK, babe, you just led an intervention into your dad’s mental health, which I know was hard for you, yet you did it anyway because you love him. You tried, but if he doesn’t want to engage, then there’s nothing you can do.”

TK is silent for a long time, staring down at his lap. He’s still holding Carlos’s hand in one of his own, but his free hand is rubbing the material of Carlos’s shirt between his fingers; Carlos doubts he’s even fully aware he’s doing it.

“I know that,” he says eventually, voice little more than a whisper. “I do. I just wish he wasn’t so goddamn stubborn all the time.”

Carlos’s lips quirk up in a smile, and he speaks before he can stop himself. “Guess it runs in the family.”

TK stares at him, open-mouthed, and Carlos immediately regrets his words. He’s halfway through an apology when it’s like a dam breaks, and TK breaks out in giggles, his head thumping against Carlos’s chest.

“You’re lucky I love you, Reyes.”

Carlos grins and pulls TK as close to him as physically possible. “I really am.”

*

The call comes early the next morning, waking both of them up. TK grumbles as he smacks his hand against the nightstand in a blind search for his phone; the sight would be adorable if Carlos weren’t so tired himself. After the exhaustion of the past few days, he’d been desperately hoping to have a peaceful morning for once, maybe even - god forbid - to spend some quality time with his boyfriend without the threat of parents or work or sudden emergencies hanging over them. 

Clearly, though, it’s not to be, as TK suddenly sits bolt upright in bed, all traces of sleep gone.

“We’ll be there as soon as we can,” he promises to whoever’s on the other end, before lowering the phone and turning to stare at Carlos, terror obvious in his eyes. 

“TK?” Carlos asks when he doesn’t speak, sitting up and slowly reaching out for him. TK startles at the contact, but quickly leans into it, covering Carlos’s hand with his own.

He swallows once, twice. “Buttercup’s sick,” he whispers. “Dad had to rush him to the vet’s. Carlos, what if… What if…”

He trails off, shaking his head viciously, as though he can erase the thought from his mind. Carlos quickly moves to steady him, stroking his thumbs across his cheekbones to calm him down.

“Let’s get dressed, okay?” he says, knowing reassurances won’t mean a thing right now. “Then we’ll go, and we’ll know more.”

TK just nods, quiet as they go through the motions of getting ready. Carlos makes sure to press an apple into his hand before they head out; he knows it will likely go uneaten, but it’s the only choice he has, given he knows that TK will refuse to stop for breakfast without finding out about Buttercup first.

If the drive back from Owen’s yesterday was silent, today’s is far worse. TK’s hands are constantly moving in Carlos’s periphery, alternating between fiddling with his apple, tugging on his clothes and hair, and rubbing at his face. On the rare occasion he does try to stay still, his hands end up twitching in his lap, followed by a sudden burst of anxious movement before falling back into some semblance of a pattern.

Carlos presses his lips into a firm line, accelerating more than is technically legal; at any other time he’d make a joke about how TK’s turning him into a criminal.

They’re forced to stop at a traffic light, and Carlos curses under his breath, getting jittery himself as the drive extends. He turns to check on TK, then curses again at the sight of his boyfriend’s pale face, his wide eyes and trembling body. TK gasps, then again and again, a hand going to his chest, and Carlos knows what this is. 

A panic attack, but the second he reaches to help, the lights change and he’s forced to keep driving. He keeps one eye on TK the whole time, heart beating faster as he seems to get worse, and he’s thankful when he spots an opportunity to pull over, taking it immediately.

TK stares, shaking his head frantically and gesturing in a motion that Carlos takes to mean keep driving. His mouth opens and closes but he can’t form words, breaths coming short and fast. He folds in on himself when they stop, eyes closed and forehead almost touching his knees as his body heaves and shakes.

Carlos unbuckles himself and shifts as close as he can, placing one hand on TK’s back and taking his hand in the other, rubbing circles on the back of it with his thumb. He’s had to do this a few times over the course of their relationship, shootings and kidnappings and disasters taking their toll on his boyfriend.

But that doesn’t make it any less difficult.

“You’re going to be okay,” Carlos says, pushing his own fears aside. “Just breathe slowly, in and out, that’s it; it’ll be over soon, I promise.”

He keeps it up, murmuring assurances he barely registers himself until the shaking lessens and TK’s breath slowly but surely begins to even out. He straightens in his seat, eyes still closed, and leans his head against the headrest. 

Carlos pulls back, giving him a moment before he asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”

TK shakes his head, then immediately changes his mind and nods. Still, it takes him a few seconds to speak. “What if it’s the cancer, Carlos?” he asks, peeling his eyes open, despair written all over his features. “He could - He could die, he could be dying right this second, and I don’t know if I can handle that, not after everything else.”

“I know,” Carlos says. “You just have to remember that we don’t know anything yet, and you have to believe that Buttercup will be fine until we do know more. We’ll take it from there, and if it is the cancer - which, yes, it might be - then we’ll all be around to support each other. Buttercup’s strong, though, I’m sure he’ll fight whatever this is with everything he has. He’ll be fine.”

Carlos smiles, noticing how TK is pretty much hanging onto every word he says. He takes a deep breath, briefly looking away before continuing, “As will your dad.”

TK frowns. “Who said anything about my dad?”

“TK.”

He sighs, hanging his head. “You’re right,” he admits, “this is a little bit about my dad. The longer he puts off this surgery, the more scared I get that the cancer will come back and we won’t get as lucky this time. I know it’s stupid, and I know I should be focused on Buttercup right now, but…”

“But,” Carlos agrees, reaching out and squeezing TK’s hand. “It’s okay, and it’s not stupid at all, I promise you. Let’s just take this one thing at a time, okay? First, we’ll get to the vet’s and find out how Buttercup is, and then we’ll see about having another conversation with your dad - maybe telling him what you’ve told me?”

TK exhales shakily, then nods. “Okay. Okay.”

Carlos gives him a small smile, squeezing his hand once more before shifting back in his seat to keep driving. “I’ll be right by your side,” he can’t help but say. He’s sure TK already knows, but the reminder can’t hurt, especially after what just happened.

TK stays quiet, but Carlos doesn’t miss the mumbled, “I don’t deserve you,” from the passenger seat. 

“Wrong,” he replies, eyes on the road. “You deserve the world.”

And, in his periphery, TK smiles.

#911 lone star #911 lone star spoilers #911 lone star fic #tarlos #tarlos fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #tk x carlos #lone star #911ls #fanfiction #my fanfiction #writing #my writing #userjillian #userkimmy #tuserpaige #tuserjenny #reyeslonestartag #tuserjamie #anonymous

[chan-skz]

Going back the way we've come

Pairing : Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Summary: You didn't want to go, but forced by your parents, you gave in. Your relationship with Hyunjin hadn't started very well, after reuniting years later, you realized that a lot of things had changed. but for some reason, you couldn't push him away.

Words: ~ 7.5k

Genre: Fluff, smut (around the end), slight angst

Warning(s): Making out, Oral (f receiving), Fingering, Kinda raw language, Semi-public, Light choking, Light overstimulation, Teasing under table

Note: This is part of the christmas collab I'm doing w/ @hanflix and many other writers. I tried my best to give it a holiday vibe, but I guess I totally failed hahah.

A/N: This is the longest fic I've ever written for now, and I also tried my best in writing it, so I really hope you'll enjoy it! English isn't my first language, so I'm really sorry if there's any mistakes or non-senses.

Your fingers tightened around the collar of your coat, the cold breeze gently hitting your face. You cursed yourself for not having listened to your mother when she insisted for you to take a scarf, arguing that it would be colder than usual.

"Fuck winter." You said when you got back under the shelter of the bus stop, collapsing on the bench next to your bestfriend, where he was sitting.

"Hi to you too, Y/n." Jisung laughed.

"Sorry, really not in a good mood." You said, glancing around, noticing that besides you, there were few other people waiting for the bus.

"Do you want to talk about it though?" He continued.

"Well." You began, sitting correctly on the seat and turning to him, announcing your long speech in advance. He knew you by heart. "I argued with my mom about a stupid decision she and my dad made. They want me to spend Christmas Eve with them and some old friends of theirs! Do you realize that? I don't even know them! She told me they had a son of my age and that I was bestfriend with him when I was younger, as that would some how change my mind. Christmas is supposed to be between families, not strangers."

"Are you done?" He asked when he saw you cross your arms against your chest and sigh even more on the bench. He was really trying to keep from laughing at your despondency. "It's not funny Sungie! I'm really serious!" You complained. "How did I found myself having to spend almost a boring evening with complete strangers?"

"You could come and spend it with me if you really don't want to spend it with your parents' friends." He suggested.

"Are you serious?" You asked, suddenly straightening up, hope shining in your eyes.

"Will your parents accept, though?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No." Your mother firmly refused.

"But why!" You whined through the phone, kicking your foot at the pile of snow in front of you, in frustration

"Because Christmas should be celebrated with the family, honey."

"Family.. We don't even pass it between real family." You whispered to yourself, rolling your eyes, before setting your gaze on your best friend who was still waiting for you at the entrance of the high school.

"It's not the same thing!" She exclaimed loudly through the phone, forcing you to move your phone away from your ear. "Do you really want to stay with them on Christmas Eve anyway?"

"But Jisung offered it to me! He even told me that his parents wouldn't even mind!" You exclaimed in your turn. "You yourself know how much they love me!" You added in hope that it will change her mind.

"It's still no, the discussion is closed." She concluded, before hanging up on you. You sighed in frustration, kicking one last on the snow pile before turning back to your best friend. You weren't in the mood it was clear.

"So?" Jisung asked as you approached him.

"She said no." You answered, walking past him to enter the school. "But don't worry, I'm going to keep pushing when I get home, she says the discussion is over, but I'll keep pushing the subject."

"You really don't want to spend it with their friends, do you?" Jisung chuckled when he saw how persistent you were.

"As they say, perseverance always pays off." You gave him a smile, letting him know you weren't going to drop the case that easily.

"Yeah, but I don't think that's gonna work." Before you could answer, a group of girls down the hall caught your eye. You glanced at each other in disbelief as you approached your group of friends.

"What's going on over there." You asked curiously, as you opened your locker to deposit your things in.

"Ah, just a new student." Jeongin just shrugged, not looking away from his phone, too focused on his game.

"Damn, he's this special to create so much enthusiasm." You continued, taking your books in your arms before closing your locker and leaning against it.

"I heard he was handsome, rich, tall. The pure cliché you know." Changbin added, earning amused looks from all of you. "What? I only rehearsed what I heard, I didn't even saw the guy yet."

"My only question is who would get transfered to a new school a day before winter break? It's so unlikely." You were curious to know who this new kid was, since he already had girls at his feet when it's barely been a day since he arrived.

"I really don't know." Changbin shrugged. "But I also heard he was from your hometown. You must know him."

"No luck, I don't even remember a lot of things from back there." You were still a little surprised that he also came from your hometown, but despite all that, it didn't change your opinion of him.

"Merry Christmas!" Felix came out of nowhere, dressing ridiculously in rudolph. Totally his type. You couldn't help but burst out laughing at his outfit. The day before, you all had agreed to dress in a holiday theme, but it was clear that someone surely hadn't understood the real concept.

"What the fuck, Lix." Jeongin said, finally turning his attention away from his game to judge his friend. "When I suggested yesterday that we could dress like it was Christmas, I didn't actually mean to dress up like this."

You kinda felt bad for Felix as he looked disappointed at the judgment of the youngest.

"Rah, you are so boring." Felix said, crossing his arms over his chest before pretending to sulk.

"Okay, pass me your red nose." You added, rolling your eyes as Felix's face lit up.

"It's good now?" You asked rhetorically, placing the red ball on yours.

"Looks like a real clown now. Your makeup wasn't enough, but with that nose you really look like one now." Jisung said amused, making the whole gang laugh, except you obviously.

"I swear to you that one day I'll kill you." You threatened him, hitting his forearm causing him to whine in pain.

"Ow- damn you hit real hard-"

"Y/n? Y/n Y/l/n?" A familiar voice called you out, making everyone turn around. You then suddenly found yourself facing a guy that neither of you knew. You surely assumed to be the new student.

"Excuse me, do I know you?" You had to admit that the fact that this tall guy knew your name freaked you out.

"Don't you recognize me? Hyunjin. We went to the same elementary school." The so-called Hyunjin indicated, making you frown at his words. But your brain still didn't seem to recognize him despite how hard you tried to remember who it could be.

"I'm so sorry, but you must be wrong on the person. I really don't know you." This time you raised an eyebrow and looked him over from head to toe. You couldn't deny that he was handsome, even though you didn't know him.

"He's from your hometown, there's a chance he's right." Chris pointed, once the guy had left. You sigh in exasperation. "I don't remember him anyway. So whether he's right or not, it doesn't really matter."

You threw yourself on your bed, almost screaming into your pillow in frustration. Again, you tried to convince your parents, but it was a complete failure like this morning. They were really determined that you go with them, even though you had made it clear to them that you didn't want to. You spent long minutes looking at your reflection through the mirror in your bathroom. Did you have to wear a dress and full makeup to go to a stupid Christmas dinner? Obviously, it was your mother who forced you.

The red dress she chose for you was quite tight and followed every curve of your body. But it was either that or nothing, since you would've been allowed to wear something more comfortable. Everything had to be perfect, you rolled your eyes recalling the words of your mother, and also of your father. You didn't understand either why you had agreed to wear high heels, your feet were hurting horribly and the freezing winter cold really didn't help your situation. It was snowing and you were forced to wear these heels anyway, that's how your parents exaggerated. Luckily, there was no ice, otherwise you would've tripped and humiliated yourself in the middle of the entrance. You were torn from your thoughts when the front door opened, and revealing a quite beautiful lady about your mother's age.

"Y/m/n!" The lady exclaimed with a big smile, softly giggling as your mother returned the same energy to her. She wasted no time to make you get in and hugging your mom and shaking your father's hand. Once you got in her facial expression only lit up even more.

"Y/n! Woah, you've grown so much!" She indicated by taking you in your arms too. "You've become so beautiful, I'm sure Hyunjin would agree." She said with a slight smirk. Hearing his name made you choke on your own saliva. You tensed, but managed to fake a smile, even though you were praying inside that you had misheard. Unfortunately for you, all your doubts were confirmed when you walked into the living room and found yourself face to face with Hyunjin.

"Damnit.." You cursed under your breath, when you came to sit on the couch in front of his and according to the face he expressed, he seemed to have heard you. Lucky for you, none of the other adults next to you seemed to have heard it. You could feel his intense gaze on you, and it lowkey made you anxious.

"Dinner's not ready yet, because we got too caught up at the last minute, so sorry." Hyunjin's mother laughed lightly. "I know the kids won't want to wait here all along, so maybe they could go do something else until it's ready."

If you could think that the night couldn't get any worse, you were completely wrong.

"Stop following me." Hyunjin suddenly turned as he walked up the stairs. Making you roll your eyes.

"I 'follow' you, because I have nowhere else to go and I would rather stay with you than stay with them for a second. Their 'good old days' really don't interest me." You crossed your arms against your chest, defying him with your gaze.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes, before turning around. His room was quite large, almost double yours. You made sure to sit in the opposite side of the room. You then found yourself sitting on the sofa while he was lying on his bed, both phones in hand. Your phones keep you busy, making you forget the awkward tension.

"How could you not recognize me?" Hyunjin suddenly asked, distracting you from the video you were watching.

"Do I really have to?" You looked away from your phone to focus on Hyunjin, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed and facing you.

"Did I change that much?" He said, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"We knew each other when we were kids, now we are adults, what do you expect? I can't recognize everyone I was friends with in my childhood at one glance." You said in a mocking voice. "I don't even understand why you keep pushing so hard for me to remember you, but if you really want to, just show me what you looked like when you were a baby. It would surely refresh my memory."

You didn't expect that he would actually do it. But your eyes widened when you saw the little boy in the picture. You recognized him right there. Your heart pounded at the realization, but you tried to pull yourself together. It was stupid to react so exaggeratedly just because you realized you were facing your childhood best friend, your first love. Finally you didn't really know if when you were young you really loved him, because after all, you were still kids, the meaning of love wasn't real known, nor understood.

"Stop Hyunjin, you're hurting him!" You yelled at him to let go of your friend's sweater, Chris.

"No! How dare he touch you! Only I have the right to give you a hug!" Hyunjin frowned, looking at you before quickly looking back at your friend, who just let it go, finding his jealousy quite ridiculous.

"But I was the one who gave him a hug." You started, finding his possessiveness frustrating.

You couldn't help but have a small smile forming at the corner of your lips at the flashback of this event. And you couldn't control your teasing.

"So how's your jealousy? Are you still so possessive of a temper?" You said amused, expecting him to becomes slightly shy and sulky as you pointed out his toxic trait, but what you didn't expect was for him to smile and look down on you.

"Oh, why do you want to know that? Unless you want me to show you what true possessiveness is." He smirked, looking you up and down. Your own smile faded as he watched you closely, making you feel oddly exposed to him in that tight, cropped dress.

"What do you mean?" You pulled yourself together again and asked, raisong an eyebrow.

"Well, I wouldn't have thought you would've had so many guy friends." His comment frustrated you for some reasons. After years apart, as soon as you meet again does he really have to get jealous over the fact that you have a lot of opposite sex friends? You really didn't like it.

"Does it even matter anyway?" You asked insistently. At your reaction, Hyunjin's expression changed, becoming more nonchalant again.

"Nevermind." He got up from the sofa he was leaning on and went to lie back on his bed. You took advantage of him not looking at you to detail him. You couldn't deny that puberty had blessed him, making him not only beautiful, but also extremely attractive. His hair, which he had dyed blond, was slightly messy, but enough to make it look quite classy.

"Do you like staring at me?" He asked rhetorically, but as you were about to deny, he continued. "No need to deny it, the trickle of drool at the corner of your mouth is proof of that."

Seeing your panicking face, he laughed out loud. Quickly running your hand over the corner of your mouth, you finally realized that he was only messing with you from the start. As you opened your mouth to clap back at him, you heard your mother's voice calling you from downstairs, informing both of you that the dinner was ready. Hyunjin didn't miss the glare you gave him as you sat face to face at the dining table. He could've simply ignored it, but the little smirk that appeared on your lips worried him slightly. He had a bad feeling.

Your parents were talking and laughing with each other, paying almost no attention to you two, which gave you the best opportunity to tease Hyunjin. For his part, he was frustered when he felt something caress his leg. Looking down he saw your foot caressing his leg, he wasted no time pushing you away, finding the whole thing quite inappropriate as you found yourself at the table with both of your parents. But you didn't give up, in fact you were determined to make him restless. You restarted your gesture, but this time, taking advantage of his man spread, you deflected your touching on his crotch. You knew he was going to lose his temper at this action and your doubts were confirmed when he jumped at the feeling of your heel pressing against his crotch.

"Hyunjin, are you okay?" His mother asked, slightly worried. You could see a pinkish tinge forming on Hyunjin's cheeks and you had to admit he was so cute like that.

"And yes, y-yes. It's okay, I just banged my knee against the table, sorry." He managed to convince the others. After all, he wasn't going to openly say that you were touching his dick under the table. Stop that, he mimicked, his gaze changing dramatically to become more firmer, but it only made you keep going, finding his reaction funny and extremely entertaining. Suddenly he got up from the table, apologizing to your parents and pretending he wasn't hungry, so he could get away from that family dinner. Not wanting to be alone with them, you did the same, sighing in relief when you in turn managed to sneak out of that Christmas dinner. Except you weren't expecting to be tackled by a pretty angry Hyunjin from the moment you stepped into his room. You then found yourself stuck between him and the wall, his arms placed on each side of your body, blocking you from escaping from his grip. Besides his tall figure, which made him quite intimidating, didn't help your case.

"If you were so desperate for my cock, you should've told me." He said in a dangerously calm voice.

"What are you talking about?" You manage to say, completely confused.

"Oh don't be innocent. You really think this is a game, don't you? Do you think teasing my cock around our parents is fun?" You bit your lip and your eyes widened when he grabbed your hand and put it on his bulge for you to feel it, which was quite hard.

"You feel it? Now I'm fucking hard." He said in a long sigh of pleasure, feeling your fingers trace his length. He then leaned against your ear, his hot breath giving you chills.

"From the moment I met you again, I knew straight away that I didn't want to just be friends with you." You still couldn't quite assimilate the situation you currently found yourself in and it was only when he leaned against your ear to whisper those words to you with his deep voice that you finally broke out of your thoughts. Suddenly you pushed him away, forcing him to pull away from you and step back. He looked at you completely lost, not understanding your sudden action and to tell the truth, you didn't understand what had taken you neither. You couldn't deny that this whole situation had made you slightly aroused, but it was too soon. No sooner had you met again than you already found yourself doing dirty things? It was going a little too fast for your liking.

"That-that won't work, I'm so sorry." You avoided his gaze in embarrassment. After a few moments of silence, you finally returned your gaze to Hyunjin, who was now looking at you completely detached. And to be honest, his expression hurted you, but you tried to hide it. You knew you ruined your evening, that's why you decided to end up speanding it with your parents. It was quite boring, but at least it allowed you to escape the discomfort that would've been present between you and Hyunjin, if you stayed with him.

"And? What did you do?" Jisung asked excitedly. A few days later, you had wasted no time summoning Jisung, your best friend, to tell him what had happened to you. But no sooner had the story started than he was already feeling excited, obviously expecting you and Hyunjin to have done it.

"I pushed him away." You simply said, looking as if you didn't care about it. Even though a few days later, you were still mentally slapping yourself for pushing him away so coldly. While deep down, you wished things had turned out differently.

"What did you do?" Jisung repeated slowly, his excitement fading.

"I pushed him away and even told him that it wouldn't work between us." You closed your eyes, anticipating his reaction.

"Oh my god, I have never known a girl so stupid." Jisung said in exasperation. "You literally had the chance before you and you didn't even take it."

"I know!" You pouted. "It's just that I realized this when it was too late. I was in the living room with my parents, you really expected me to go back to his room and take back everything that I said and did to him?"

You concluded ironically before crossing your arms against your chest and sighing in exasperation.

"Well that was an option that you unfortunately didn't take and which could've prevented from finding yourself in this situation." He dramaticallyraised his hot chocolate cup to face, making you roll your eyes.

"I'm seriously starting to regret telling you this story and even offering to go out. You really aren't helping me."

"It's too hard not to judge you when you literally make so many stupid decisions, sorry." He said, chuckling at your annoyed reaction. "Ah, by the way, I almost forgot to mention it, but Changbin is throwing a new year party tomorrow and he told me to force you to come."

At the mention of a party, you whined. You didn't like parties, you preferred to stay at home, doing nothing, rather than partying among people you didn't know.

"Tell him back that despite you forcing me, I'm not coming." You said directly.

"Please, for once come on. And it'll help you to forget about your night with Hyunjin." Jisung begged you. It was very rare that you attended parties organized by your friends, one because you didn't like the vibe, but you also didn't understand the usefulness of getting high and drunk. But coming to think of it, not only did you want to forget the shit you had caused, but you also felt like getting wasted.

"Fine."

You scrambled through the room, the wave of dancing people glued to each other began to make you sick. Your glass in hand, you passed through all these people, until you finally got off the dance floor. You shiver slightly when you feel the light cold breeze brush your exposed legs. You were already regretting having put on such a short dress. It wasn't really ideal to go out so exposed, but it was the only evening dress you had.

"Looks like you're bored." Felix's deep voice surprised you, making you jump.

"Oh my god!" You exclaimed in surprise. almost dropping your drink. "You scared me."

You hit his forearm, making him laugh out loud.

"No, but seriously you look really bored." He said, calming down. You just nodded, it was true that you were slowly starting to regret coming. Your dress that bothered you, the alcohol that took too long to hit you, and the cold freezing were all the reason of it.

"Do you want to come with me play truth or dare? Changbin and the other boys were organizing it." He proposed to you, not failing to see you looking with disgust at the gathering of people completely wasted and grinding on each other. You accepted, telling yourself that it might change your mind. You didn't know this kind of game was still being played at parties, but you were curious enough what kind of dares and truths other players will throw themselves into. Obviously, you should've expected to see Hyunjin as soon as you set a foot in the room, which seemed to be Changbin's room, accompanied by Felix. Other than this one, Hyunjin and even Changbin, you didn't really know the other participants, but even then you cursed yourself for not thinking for a second that Hyunjin might be there too. You blushed slightly when you noticed him contemplating your body shamelessly. You thanked the lord for making the room a little dark, only a lamp on the floor on the floor litening the room.

"Y/n!" Changbin exclaimed with joy when he saw you, glad you came. Coming to hug you, only to ruffle your hair.

"Stop." You giggled. "You ruined my hairstyle." You pouted.

"Ohh, it's okay, you're beautiful the way you are." He said, making you blush. Changbin treated you like his little sister, his way to make you comfortable no matter the situation would always surprise you. Your interaction didn't go out of Hyunjin's attention. From the corner of the room he watched you silently, paying no attention to the girl beside him who was desperately seeking his attention.

"Are we starting or not?" Felix complained loudly, drawing attention to himself.

"We're just waiting for Jisung and Jeongin." No sooner had Changbin finished his sentence than your two friends entered the room, their arms laden with drinks.

"To spice up the game!" Jisung exclaimed as he placed the bottles on the ground, beside the circle you had formed. You had hesitated for a moment to sit down, your short dress really bothering you, obviously you didn't want others to have an easy view of your panties. You were then offered by Changbin his jacket to cover your lap, clearly having noticed your struggle.

"Thank you." You smiled at him, before kneeling on the floor and covering your legs with his jacket.

"Ok, we all know the game rules, right? But this time, if you don't want to answer the truth or don't want to do a dare, you're going to have to take two shots of vodka." Jeongin vaguely explained. "Okay, I'm starting."

He leaned over to spin the bottle, stopping in front of Changbin.

"Truth or dare." Jeongin asked with a smirk at the corner of his lips. It was in those moments that his inner devil was coming out.

"Truth." Changbin said. "I don't trust you enough to pick dare when it comes to you." He added suspiciously.

"What's your body count?" Jeongin asked, ignoring his friend's comment.

"Do I need to have slept with them?" He asked, waiting for the clarification of the younger. He took time to think.

"Then I think around 15, if not even more." He nodded. Hearing this number, you almost choked.

"15?! What the hell?!" You turned to Changbin, your eyes widening. "You better spill the tea, mr.Don Juan."

The game went on, you had to admit it was pretty funny seeing some people taking two shots of vodka and gradually get drunk just because they didn't want to do something, or even see some people do of ​​stupid things. Well, until Hyunjin's turn came and he had the misfortune of being told what to do by Jisung.

"Truth or dare, Hyunjin." He asked him with a smile, which the world that didn't know him might consider innocent, but knowing him very well, you knew he was up to no good.

"I guess, dare?" He answered.

"I dare you to make out for a minute with the girl you find the most attractive in the room." As soon as Jisung's words came out of his mouth, his turned gaze to you. You rolled your eyes when you had eye contact with your best friend. Seeing how the girl, who was sitting next to Hyunjin, looked quite pretty and looked so interested in him, you expected him to turn to kiss her. But you were a little taken aback, when he got up to approach you to kneel down in front of you, ignoring the complaints of the girl you think was one of his fangirls at school.

"Wait what?" Your eyes widened, completely lost. Your heart quickly started race up as you saw him lean towards you.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked quietly. You really didn't know what to add, you were literally wordless. Subconsciously, you started to nod your head gently, giving him your consent. When your lips touched, it was as if no one existed around you. The exclamations of surprise that other people around you were expressing went over your head.

Hyunjin's lips were soft, the kiss you exchanged was initially passionate, but the longer the seconds passed the hotter it got. Without thinking too much, you wrapped your arms around the older man's neck, pulling him closer to you, as he grabbed your hips. Too absorbed in each other, you hadn't noticed that the minute had already passed and it was only when Jisung called you out that you finally came out of your reverie, instantly detaching yourself from Hyunjin.

You blushed slightly when you felt a light trickle of drool dripping from the corner of your mouth, you pressed to wipe it off quickly with the back of your hand. Hyunjin, for his part, just licked his lips, giving you a smirk, knowing that this action would destabilize you even more. Clearing your throat afterwards, you for sure wanted to divert the attention others had on you, while Hyunjin, sat down next to you with a big smile on his face, not caring that all the attention was on you. After all he had finally kissed you, which he had wanted to do since the dinner with your parents, so nothing else mattered. Your thoughts wandered elsewhere as the game continued its course. You couldn't think of anything other than Hyunjin's lips on yours, his kiss had made you lose your head. Your mind was engulfed in unhealthy thoughts and it didn't take you long before you felt yourself being drowned by your own mind.

"I-I think I'm going to go." You huffed, feeling a pleasant, but quite uncomfortable heat growing between your legs. You were clearly starting to feel bad. You didn't give Changbin or Hyunjin time to speak as you got up and quickly left the room. The loud sound of the music playing backwards was much more audible once in the hallway, it's precisely at this moment that you could gradually feel the influence of alcohol washing you off. Luckily for you, you found the bathroom easily.

"Y/n?" You heard Hyunjin calling you, but you didn't pay him any attention to him when he hesitantly walked in. You were propped up against the bathroom counter, staring at your reflection through the mirror, it was easily recognizable that you were not feeling well. Your cheeks were red, your breath quickened and your eyes slightly narrowed.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly, approaching you, but he resigned himself when he saw you stepping back when he tried to come closer.

"Stop playing with me." You finally said, turning to face him. You couldn't help but slightly laugh bitterly when he looked at you in confusion, obviously not understanding the meaning of your words.

"Seriously Hyunjin, what do you want from me." You rolled your eyes, "You tell me straight up that you want more than just a friendship with me, when it had only been one evening that we met again. Things have changed Hyunjin, I've changed, you've changed. We're not the same as when we were still children." He was silent for a moment, looking deep in his thoughts, before he resigned himself to saying something.

"I understand that we are no longer children. And from the moment I saw you again I understood it very well. You must think I'm talking nonsense, but just seeing you and talking to you again last time, I don't know why, i had the same feelings i had when we were young."

He stopped talking to approach you slowly, making sure first that you weren't going to distance yourself from him.

"I'm very serious. I'm really not trying to play with your feelings, nor you in general." His gaze reflected a slight sadness. He was genuinely afraid of being rejected by you, even after his speech.

"How could I believe you?" You asked, hesitantly whether you should take him seriously or not.

"If you give me a chance, I swear I could prove it to you." You felt butterflies in your stomach at his words. You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it immediately, you really didn't know what to say. And he looked pretty determined.

"I hope you're not going to make me regret it then." You manage to say. At your answer, his face lit up. He was anxious that you would reject him, that you would tell him that his 'confession' was absurd, but he felt a huge weight off his shoulders at your words. His gaze wandered over your lips for a few seconds, before he glanced quickly behind him.

"I-" He started slowly, looking suddenly slightly embarrassed. "Can I kiss you?"

His question made you smile for real this time, finding his reaction rather unexpected and ironic, given of what had happened earlier.

"Really, Hyunjin? You literally kissed me in front of dozens of people and now you're getting all embarrassed." You teased him. "So cute."

At your last comment, his expression changed dramatically. Suddenly, he leaned over and grabbed your chin, forcing you to lock your eyes with his.

"Me, cute?" He tilted his head to the side, his gaze languishing in your face, as if to memorize every detail. "You sure about that?" All trace of embarrassment had disappeared from his attitude. He looked more than serious and you couldn't deny that you liked this new facade of him.

"Why don't you show it to me then?" You didn't know where that line, or even that daring, had come from, but you didn't complain when Hyunjin's lips rested on yours for the second time that evening. The kiss was way more intense than the one you had shared earlier. Hotter and more eager. You gasped in surprise as Hyunjin grabbed you by the back of your thighs to lift you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. Your dress, which was already short, rose at this gesture, giving him easy access to your ass. Placing yourself on the bathroom counter, you were slightly disappointed when he pulled away from you, breaking your kiss. You looked at him with puppy eyes, as he turned around to close the bathroom door and lock it.

"Just making sure we won't be disturbed." He smirked, taking full notice of your desperate look. He wasted no time before stepping back between your legs, his lips joining yours for a warm kiss once again.

"Fuck, you don't know how many times I've fantasized about being like this with you since the last time." He whispered in admiration, as he kissed the path up to your neck, where he teasingly bit your soft spot which he found easily. You suppressed a small moan at his gesture, your fingers venturing into his long curls and pulling them gently. You could tell he liked it by the deep moan he made.

"You left me so hard when you ran away last time." He straightened up to look at you straight in the eyes, the sheer desire burning through his gaze making you feel in a certain way you could describe as sinful.

"I was afraid I had done something wrong when you pushed me away. I even felt bad for getting so excited after you teased me under the table in the presence of our parents." The tone of his voice clearly reflected nostalgia.

"But don't feel bad. I just panicked at the time." You smiled at him, passing a hand on his cheek to reassure him.

"And if I'm being honest, the situation got me excited too." You confessed shyly. Your revelation relaxed him slightly, but also boosted his confidence.

"Really?" He asked rhetorically, stroking your thighs with his fingertips. Your heart race increased as he rushed to drop hungry kisses down your collarbone, wasting no time slipping your sleeve, giving him a perfect access to the base of your breasts.

"Fuck.. Please..." You moaned, wiggling lightly against him, begging him for more, which made him smirk in satisfaction. You were as desperate for him as he was for you.

"My baby is so impatient. So sweet." He chuckled, visibly enjoying seeing you so hopeless for him to touch you intimately. It didn't take him long before he decided to finally slid his hand between your thighs, easily finding your clit, his fingers rubbing it so skillfully.

"I can already feel your wetness." He bit his lower lip, his dark eyes focusing on your face contracted with pleasure. You were so beautiful.

"Lay down." You were torn from your little cloud of pleasure again, when he removed his touch from your panties to remove it entirely, exposing your soaked pussy to him. You leaned back as he ordered, leaning back against the mirror behind you and opening your legs wide for him to give him an easy access to what he wanted the most right now. You knew seeing yourself so exposed and vulnerable just for him, hugely turned him on. The visible bulge on his crotch being the proof.

"You look so fucking good, baby." He said, licking his lips, obviously pleased pf the way you were already dripping just for him, when he barely touched you. Not breaking eye contact, he knelt between your legs, gripping your thighs to keep them firmly open, before languidly licking your cunt, stickinf his tongue inside of you. Your fingers found his hair again, gripping it tightly when Hyunjin suddenly began to suck on your sensitive swollen clit. You couldn't stop a few moans from escaping, even though you were trying the best you could to not to be too loud. Your hips subconsciously bucked against his face, forcing him to wrap his arms around your hips so that he could stabilize you moving too much. He intended to make you scream his name with pleasure and he wanted to do it the right way. You felt like you were losing your mind when the way he was eating you out changed, getting much more rougher and hungrier. He then suddenly slipped a finger, then a second, inside you, touching your weak spot with every pump and strock of his fingers.

"Hyunjin.. Too much.." You moaned, squirming more and more under his grip on you with each of his moves. Your thoughts were clouded with pleasure, dizzying your mind. You couldn't think properly anymore, only your orgasm, that you could feel was getting closer and closer, was the only thing you could think about. The tension, which you could feel building in your lower abdomen, exploded as Hyunjin once again eagerly wrapped his lips around your clit. Your eyes rolled back, as your orgasm washed you away, making you moan loudly in ecstasy. Seeing you come around his fingers and his mouth didn't make him stop his movements. You had to beg him to stop when it got too much for you to handle. His mouth and chin were almost dripping with your juice, giving his lips an delicious shine. You felt empty when his fingers slipped off you, but you ignored it, straightening up quickly and pulling him back into a sloppy kiss, where you clearly tasted yourself on his tongue. Your hands were hanging from the waistband of his pants, which you delicately untied during your erotic exchange. You desperately wanted to feel his cock, which you could feel was already hard enough, between your lips and at the very thought, you could feel your pussy getting wetter than before.

"My good girl is so desperate for my cock?" He whispered between your lips, the sudden nickname and the hand that came wrapping around your throat made you feel much more excited and eager for him. You moaned slightly in contentment at the pleasant feeling he made you feel just by his actions and presence. You went to answer him, but was cut off by what happened outside.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year!" The loud mixed voices of people still partying echoed throughout the house. At this understanding, you looked at each other for a few moments, before involuntarily bursting into laughter.

"New year, new girl, which means new resolutions. That's all I can say about it." He said, giving you a wink full of innuendos. Blushing, you couldn't hide the smile that crept onto your lips.

"I think it's the same for me then." You declared in admiration in your turn, matching his vibe.

"Good, because I have every intention of making up for the lost time." He whispered seductively. "In every sense of the word." His last words gave you shivers of anticipation. You knew you were in there for a long ride. After all, maybe the special connection you had as a kid hadn't changed at all.

#stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids smut hours #hyunjin smut #stray kids hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin smut #skz hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut hours #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x reader #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #kpop smut

[footballfanfictions]

The thrill of the chase - Chapter Five

Pairings: Mason Mount/OC, Ben Chilwell/OC

Warnings: Smut (18+)

 —————————————————————————————

Mason

 I had watched Katie and Ben leave hand in hand, absolutely seething. I had this awful sickening feeling in my stomach that I couldn’t quite understand. All i knew for sure was that I didn’t trust Ben. I had known him before he arrived at Chelsea and we had played together for England./ He had always seem like quite a sound lad, but there was just something about him that I didn’t like.

Christina had whined at me all night about dancing with her and when I refused had gone off in a huff to dance with a group of other guys on the dancefloor, grinding against them provocatively, as if that would ever make me mad. I had been going off her for a long time now, only clinging on to the relationship because I was scared of being on my own. 

My mind kept going back to Katie kissing Ben on the dancefloor. How he had held onto her, how she had run her hand through his hair. If I was honest with myself I knew why I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it because I wished that it were my hands on her. 

I had quietly admired her from afar for the entire previous season since returning from my loan at Derby County. In that entire time she had barely even said a word to me and that only made the longing feeling worse if anything. I’ve always enjoyed the thrill of the chase. 

I felt bad for silently celebrating the end of her long term relationship, which I found out about from one of the physios one day when casually asking why Katie looked so sad that day. She had always been quite a serious person fully invested in her job, but that day changed her and she had gone cold.

Now I was seeing her fire returning, and she was burning for Ben.

I thought all of these thoughts while Christina was on top of me, half heartedly grinding against me. She hated going on top, hated having sex with me in general really these days. I usually did all the work, taking all of my frustration out on her. But tonight she was drunk enough to do all the work, while I lay back against the pillows.

The only reason I was able to get hard and stay hard was because I was thinking about Katie. 

Christina started to move her hips a little faster against me then and I momentarily snapped out of my day dream, grabbing her hips firmly. Then I put the situation out of my head and concentrated on the fantasy of Katie on top of me.

A few moments later I felt her tighten around me and started to thrust up to meet her hips,cursing quietly under my breath “f-fuck.. Katie…”

It took a second for me to realise what I had said, my eyes snapping open to meet Christina’s but she was already rolling off of me and getting out of the bed to shower like she did after every time we had sex, wanting to wash the memory of me off of her. She was entirely oblivious.

 _______________________________________________________________

Katie

I woke up momentarily confused, the curtains still wide open from the day before allowed the sun to come streaming in and blinded me for a second.

My mouth felt uncomfortably dry and my head was slightly pounding. 

Rolling over I knocked into the side of Ben’s sleeping body and the memory of the previous night came back to me. 

I had slept with Ben, and we had barely even had a date. I scolded myself silently, wondering how I could be stupid enough to let a footballer sleep with me on the first night. I was probably one in a hundred girls that he had slept with early on and then never talked to again. 

He stirred and slung his arm across my stomach, pulling me in close against his chest, he nuzzled his head against my neck. I tried really hard not to smile at the fact that he was laying here cuddling me rather than getting up and running away straight away. 

“Stop fretting.” he mumbled quietly. His voice all low, sleepy and raspy sounding even more attractive than usual. “I’m not going anywhere…” he continued, now in a whisper, his lips moving to kiss my collarbone while his hand swept my hair out of the way. 

I breathed out a deep sigh of relief and relaxed into his arms. 

“Didn’t scare you away then?” I joked.

Disregarding the sex, this was the most intimate I had been with anyone since Rory. I tried not to show Ben how insecure I felt about being completely bare before him. 

“No way” he smirked. 

We were both silent for a minute, Ben was still holding me against him, his fingertips now trailing down my back. I was struggling to figure out what I should say to him now. Should I offer him some breakfast? Ask him to hang out with me today? It had been so long since I had brought someone home with me outside of a relationship that I had no idea what the post sex etiquette was. 

“What time is it?” Ben asked, lifting his head to look at the display on my alarm clock sat on the bedside table. 

I looked at it too, having to squint to read the display clearly due to the sunshine. “8.30”

He jolted slightly against me and then sat up. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry but there is somewhere that I need to be.” he pressed a quick kiss to my cheek but then offered no further explanation as he silently dressed.

I waited until his back was turned while he was putting his shoes and socks back on before I slipped out of the bed covers myself and threw a pair of shorts and a t shirt on to look half way to presentable to see him out. 

Once we were both dressed he grabbed my hand and pulled me against him to give me a brief kiss. 

“See you later then.” I said casually.

He smiled at me and squeezed my hand, letting me lead him to the front door. 

“I’ll text you.” he said.

 _________________________________________________________

Monday morning had rolled around and admittedly I had been disappointed not to hear from Ben, but presumed that he was probably just busy. 

As usual I was busy following the weekend. Chelsea had played yesterday lunchtime and I had a folder full of matchday pictures to go through and edit to occupy my time. 

By lunchtime I had barely made a dent in my work and decided that I would just eat lunch sat at my desk to try to get through a little bit more of it but Bri had other ideas, coming bounding into my office like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh with a massive grin on her face. She was so happy that it lifted my sour mood almost instantly.

“Katie! So sorry that I didn’t text you back on Friday. I knew you were out with the boys and didn’t want to disturb you, and well… me and Billy went on our date and ended up spending the whole weekend together!” she was still bouncing as she sat down on the spare office chair which nearly rolled away from the desk from the force.

“Woah slow down, all weekend?” I asked her, puzzled as I looked down at the team sheet on the desk in front of me. “Wasn’t he in the squad yesterday?”

“Oh yeah but he got me a ticket and I sat just behind the bench so that we could talk to each other. He didn’t get to play unfortunately but it was still nice to be there to support him.” she said, beaming before continuing “then he took me to the megastore and bought me a shirt with his name on the back for me to wear next time. Isn’t that just the cutest thing?”

“The cutest…” I said quietly, trying my absolute best not to sound bitter or jealous seeing as Ben had run off suddenly on Saturday morning and couldn’t even be bothered to send me a text, compared to Billy who couldn’t get enough of being with Bri. I tried to tell myself that Billy had been into her for years so was of course going to be putting in a lot of effort, where Ben and I had only just met. It would have been nice to have felt a bit more wanted though. 

“Sooo… Billy told me that Ben was asking you out. Did you go?” she looked at me intently while asking the question and I knew then that she could tell that there was something wrong.

I told her everything, including what I knew about Ben’s ex and Jorginho and going to the nightclub with the boys, kissing Ben, Mason and his horrible girlfriend being weird, and then about sleeping with Ben and what had happened after.

“Oh…” she mumbled. “I thought that he was really into you. Billy said he’#s always talking about you and looking over at your office window when they’re training.”

I shook my head, trying not to feel pessimistic about the situation. It had only been two days and he could have genuinely been busy. 

“I’m sure he will text or call, or even pop in here to see you.” she leant over the desk then and gave me a hug in the best way that she could with a desk in the way. 

“Bri, you really like Billy now right? Not just to make you-know-who jealous?” I asked.

She laughed “Why would I want to make Voldermort jealous?”

I rolled my eyes at her and grinned “You know exactly who I meant.”

“He’s already forgotten.” she shrugged.

“Listen, I don’t think I can face going down for lunch could you bring me back a sandwich or something? I don’t really fancy being stared at. He has probably already told all of them how easy I was.”

Reluctantly she agrede to go without me but not without scolding me for thinking the way that I had, telling me that Ben wasn’t like that. 

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Mason

“So, what happened with you and that girl?” Kai was asking Ben the question as we sat in a circle doing some stretches. We were right outside of Katie’s window and I had been trying really hard not to think about her with some success before Kai had brought her up. 

Ben stayed quiet for a minute as the group pushed him for an answer. Tammy finally bluntly asking if Ben had slept with her.

I looked for any sign of embarrassment on his face but there was none as he smirked “It was even her idea, she took me back to her place and then she was all over me.”

I grit my teeth together, biting me tongue so as not to say anything I might later regret or that might make playing with him awkward. I didn’t like the way that he was talking about her. He shouldn’t be showing off for the rest of the lads like that, not if he really liked her. He could have just said that he had a good night and wouldn’t kiss and tell.

My only solace was that he wasn’t going into intimate detail. He wouldn’t ruin my fantasies about her that way. 

“How did you leave things? You leaving the door open to hit that again?” Tammy was asking.

I looked up at her window then and could see her there, stood at the coffee machine. She looked tired and stressed, more so than she usually did on a Monday morning and my dislike of Ben grew that little bit stronger. 

“The door is ajar. Just letting her cool off a bit before I go back to her. Don’t need her getting all clingy on me.”

I was only half listening to Ben, finding that not looking at him made it easier to pretend that I was fine and egging him on like all of the others. 

Our coach Frank blew his whistle then and told us all to head inside for lunch and I hung back behind the rest of them as they all walked towards the doors to inside the complex.

I was last in line for food as a consequence of hanging back behind the others and realised that Katie’s friend was just ahead of me with Billy but no Katie.

“I need to take this back to Kate but I don’t want to miss out on time with you.” I heard her cooing to Billy who had the biggest grin on his face. It was nice to see him finally happy but a bit too sweet for me.

Interrupting them I offered to take the sandwich to Katie, saying that the table I was going to sit on was full anyway and I was planning on just grabbing one myself and heading for some physio. 

Katie’s friend was slightly hesitant at first but her desire to be with Billy overruled that in the end and she handed the sandwich over to me.

I stood at her office door nervously for a minute before I even knocked.

She opened the door expecting her friend and was surprised to see me there.

“I uh- brought your sandwich…” I mumbled, passing it to her.

“Are you ok Mase? It’s not like you to be so quiet.” 

I full on blushed at her calling me Mase and felt like a right idiot for doing so. It was a nickname that people called me affectionately and she had never been affectionate towards me. 

“It’s just…” I started to speak but had no idea what excuse I was going to give. I couldn’t exactly tell her that I was jealous of Ben.

“Is it your girlfriend? She was um, nice?” she giggled, and I couldn’t think if I had ever heard her laugh before. It was infectious.

“If I’m honest I haven’t been invested in that relationship for a long time but I can’t bring myself to end it. I’ve always been in relationships. I’m not...I’m not sure I know how to be on my own you know?” 

She gestured for me to sit down on one of the chairs and she perched on the end of her desk, taking a bite of her sandwich while she thought about what I said.

“I can understand that. I was in a long term relationship that ended last year and I thought we were going to be together forever so when it ended I had no idea how to be on my own again. I’m still not sure that I have it figured out now if I’m honest.” she shrugged. She was trying to seem casual about it but I saw straight through her. She was still hurting from that break up. 

“You’re not on your own anymore though, you have Ben.” I said quietly. Although I didn’t really want to think about them together I wanted to see how she reacted to me asking about it. If her face lit up with happiness at just the mention of his name, I would know that any chance of me changing her mind about him and about me was absolutely dead. 

She looked down at her feet and didn’t say anything.

“He’s not the best at communicating. Don’t give up on him yet.” Thinking back to what she had said to me not long ago about how privileged and big headed I had become, I decided in a split second that maybe I wouldn’t be good for her even if we could somehow date. Would I continue to get too big for my boots and end up pushing her away? By that time I would have burnt a lot of bridges and ruined a lot of professional and personal relationships and it didn’t feel worth the risk.

“You’ve changed your tune.” she said, obviously referring to me telling her that he wasn’t good for her.

I shrugged, standing up to leave. “He’s growing on me I guess.”

“Thanks for chatting Mase. Maybe you’re growing on me.” she smiled. 

I had turned to the door, so she couldn’t tell how hard I was smiling at what she had said. 

“See you later Katie.” I replied, trying to sound as casual as possible as my stomach did somersaults.

#ben chilwell #mason mount #football fanfiction #football imagines #football smut #football story

[one-boring-person]

Cut Myself Shaving.

Stuntman Mike (Death Proof) x reader

Warnings: death, violence, injury, swearing , mention of nsfw

Context: Mike has a little helper in case things go awry.

A/n: I watched Death Proof yesterday and now I'm obsessed with Kurt Russell's character in it...he's such a creep but he's charming at the same time and for some reason that means I'm attracted to him 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ basically, I need help 🤡😅

Masterlist

"Fucking idiot." I curse to myself as I watch the two cars speed past me, both battered and in desperate need of new paint jobs, dust flying out behind them. From my carefully hidden spot in a side road, I can easily tell that my friend's plan hasn't worked: the white car is pursuing the familiar black one, one of the passengers - the blonde woman - leaning from the window, screaming and shouting at their quarry. It sends a wave of irritation through me, that the bastard would get as sloppy as he has done in recent months. His...habits...have always annoyed me (it's totally unnecessary and it means I have to watch him go after beautiful young girls) but he gave me a job out of it, so I never say anything. Somewhere along the line, he managed to fuck up, and picked me as his next target, only to find that when he tried to outdrive me, I drove much better than he did, with just as little care for what happens to the car as he has. The fucker let me in on his secret and I've been his backup ever since, in case anyone ever gets in the way of his little game. 

Now, it seems, I'm gonna have my work cut out for me.

Cursing again, I put the car into drive and gun it down the road, staying hidden behind a treeline, quickly moving through gears with smooth rapidity. Hanging onto the steering, I keep my breathing relaxed as the tyres screech beneath the speeding vehicle, my foot slamming down on the accelerator to get me level with my own targets. Engine roaring, the car jerks and bounces on the rough road surface, my harness keeping me from going through the windscreen a couple of times, the whole vehicle vibrating underneath me. 

Glancing out of my window every few seconds, I make sure I know where Mike and his pursuers are, swearing colourfully to myself as I realise that they're headed towards a busy main road, meaning it'll be harder for me to keep my presence unknown. In my head, I make a note to scold the stuntman for it later, planning a new route as I go, smirking as I figure out exactly how I'm going to save his sorry ass.

For once, I'm glad I looked at and memorized maps of the surrounding area, plus the construction records (I get a lot of free time) so I know what's coming up on this road, the split coming into view just as I expect it to. Taking the left road, I take a deep breath and slam my foot onto the accelerator, pressing a button on the steering wheel. Immediately, a new, more powerful thrum in the engine below me comes to life, growling like some rabid animal as the car springs forwards, the speed dial tapping uselessly at the far end of the spectrum.

Unable to help myself, I let out a cry of exhilaration, hanging onto the steering wheel as I take a bend far too fast, the wheels skidding slightly, only to straighten again under my expertise. With my new route in sight, I grin wildly and brace myself, listening to the car roar at me as I gun it over the edge of the roadside. 

The ground falls away beneath me, the car hurtling through the air towards a similar break in the road down below, where the two cars are just lifting off of the ground, going at a slower speed than mine but posing no less threat. My hands grip the wheel tightly, stomach dropping as the car starts to tip forwards, my muscles tensing in anticipation of what I know is coming.

Time seems to slow as I near them, my pulse pounding deafeningly in my ears, adrenaline coursing through me with the knowledge of what comes next. Staring through the windshield, I feel a smirk of satisfaction cross my face as one of the passengers of the white car turns and sees me, an expression of absolute fear and panic contorting her beautiful features, her eyes wide even as her mouth opens into a scream…

The cars slam into each other violently, the impact throwing me forwards into the harness, the straps jerking me back into my seat. My head falls forwards, heading for the steering wheel, though I manage to get my hands up before anything can happen, despite my knowledge that the safety harness will keep me from sustaining any real damage. Painful lines circle my arms and lap now from the straps, the wind knocked out of me from the sheer force of the collision. Glass flies into the car itself, the windows and windscreens of both vehicles shattering as we go hurtling towards the ground, many shards scraping over my bare arms and hands, leaving bloody wounds in their wakes.

The second impact throws me forwards again, my lungs struggling to force air into my body as the cars smash into the ground, rolling over each other roughly. Holding my arms closer to my body, I lift my hands up to protect my face, grunting as my shoulder is slammed against the side door. Nausea floods my system as the cars continue to roll a few times, my vision blurring over until we eventually come to a complete stop, mine resting just beside theirs. 

Taking a moment, I regain my composure, breathing deeply to fight off the shock threatening to overwhelm me, ignoring the violent tremor in my hands as I scramble for the buckle of the harness. Blood on my fingertips makes it hard for me to grip the clean metal, the digits slipping off of it a few times before I can unclasp myself, pain rapidly spreading through me as the adrenaline starts to wear off. Having unbuckled myself, I try the door beside me, sighing in relief as it comes open under my hands, allowing me to leave the death trap that is the wreckage. 

As I climb out, I grab my first aid kit from the glove compartment, hobbling from my trusty car with a slight sense of bitterness, knowing what I'll have to do to make sure Mike and I really are out of trouble. Glancing back at the main road, I'm glad to find that the crash site is not visible to the road users, so what I'll do now won't get me in any grief if someone were to see me. 

Approaching the crumpled white Dodge, I stoop down to look through the passenger window (the car is upside down), lifting an eyebrow as I realise the occupants are still alive...somehow. As I get closer, the passenger feebly looks up at me, confusion trying to creep into her agonized expression.

"Wh-who are you?" She croaks out, her voice totally shot.

Managing a cruel smirk, I reach into my pocket and bring out a box of matches, taking one out for her to see. 

"The Devil's sidekick." I rasp at her, relishing in the confusion in her eyes, watching as it turns to realisation and horror as I strike the match, lighting it. 

Straightening, I ignore her pleas for mercy, stepping away as I throw the match at the warped hood, adding a second to the undercarriage for good measure, knowing the fuel will catch soon enough. With some difficulty, I limp away from the two cars, getting about ten metres away before a deafening crack splits the air, the wreckage going up in flames in mere seconds. Now it's just a matter of finding my way to the person I've destroyed my car for. 

Thankfully, it doesn't take me long to find him, though when I do, I have to fight back a sound of exasperation. 

Stuntman Mike has pulled over into a deserted side road, just a mile down the main road, making sure he's well hidden, though the amount he's screaming and crying isn't going to keep him like that for long. He's still in his car, but he's left the window open so I can hear every sound of agony and frustration he's making, my heart tugging slightly at the cries of pain. Sighing, I make my way over, holding onto the roof of the car for support as my leg finally gives a little, my face twisting into a grimace. I must've made some noise when I did so, as Mike suddenly shouts in horror, the car engine starting to splutter as he tries to get the beaten vehicle to move again. Quickly, I reach the open window, which I now realise is smashed in, grabbing hold of it and ducking to look into the interior.

"It's me! Mike, calm down, it's me! (Y/n)!" I reassure him as he turns terror-stricken eyes on me, his face pale and bloodied from a blow to his cheek. 

"(Y/n)? What happened to you?" He breathes out, eyes roaming over me as he realises back into his seat, only to tense in pain again. 

"Cut myself shaving." I mutter in response, pulling the door open and moving to help him out, having noticed that he's in worse shape than I thought he'd be.

Taking his weight, I bite back a sound of discomfort as my leg protests, my shoulder aching from where it connected with my car but I ignore it, dragging him from the driver's seat. Slinging his arm over my shoulders, I help him hobble over to a nearby rock, setting him down on it with a sigh, standing back to look him over, glad I brought my first aid kit now. 

The stuntman is cradling his left arm, where a patch of his t-shirt has come away to reveal bloodied skin, his face splattered with the crimson stuff. Purple bruising blooms on one cheek, curling up over his gnarled scar and around his weaker eye, skin grazed away in places from the ferocity of the blow. He looks thoroughly shaken, eyes wide, breaths coming hard and fast, body trembling with the fading adrenaline. 

Sighing, I go closer, kneeling beside the rock he's sat on to look at his injuries, looking up at him as I reach out to touch his arm. Reluctantly, he nods, his ego bruised as I gently place a hand on his bicep.

"Careful, I'm pretty sure it's broken." He murmurs, wincing as I feel over the tensed muscles, trying not to get too distracted by the proximity. 

"Yeah, got it." I mumble, chewing my lip in consternation, "You're gonna have to take this off."

Gesturing to his shirt, I lean forwards to help him out of the garment, pulling it carefully over his head. Mike gives me a slightly embarrassed look, but I dismiss it and open the first aid kit, swallowing as I look over his torso. For a guy his age he's really not a bad looking guy - the man has stayed somewhat in shape over the years - making it hard to concentrate, especially as I realise I'm going to have to kneel between his legs in order to get to the wound properly. 

Blushing, I pull some gauze and rubbing alcohol out of the kit, taking up a position between his thighs where I can easily reach the bloody puncture wound in his shoulder. He watches me closely as I reach up and feel over his back for an exit wound, glad to find one even as he tenses and hisses under my touch. Knowing I need to work quickly, I get started, cleaning up the puncture as best I can, wiping away blood enough so that I can plug the hole and tape it up, sticking a bandage over it. I go to repeat this on his other side, working quickly. 

"How the hell did you get shot?" I ask him after a moment, finding the silence between us awkward. 

"One of those bitches pulled a gun on me.  Shot at me a couple of times, before it hit me. Hurts like a bitch." Mike explains, hissing again as I prod the wound a little too hard. 

"She pulled a gun? How did you even get close enough?" I'm confused as to his story, having only seen that it ended in him being chased onto the freeway. 

Allowing me to continue working on his injuries, Mike recites his version of events, voice strained in pain and fatigue, eyes never leaving me as I move around him, cleaning up his scrapes and bruises. After a while, I end up at his face, carefully dabbing at a few grazes with an alcohol-soaked piece of gauze. Standing this close to him, I can feel his every breath on my cheek, vaguely aware of the fingers clutching at my jacket every now and then as I go over a particularly painful spot, my pulse picking up slightly. 

"...next thing I know, you're at my window looking like you just walked through hell." He finishes, licking his lips to wet them again as he pulls his shirt back on.

"Feels like I did." I laugh dryly, leaning back as I finish on his face, "I'll be back in a sec, hang on."

Quickly, I limp over to his car again, rifling through his things in the compartment by his seat before pulling a small bottle from the rubbish. Going back to him, I stand in front of him and hold it up.

"Mind if I…?" I gesture to him, pointing at his arm, which I've now put in a sling to keep out of harm's way.

The stuntman nods, tilting his head back as I step into his personal space again, standing between his legs. Carefully, I open the bottle and lean over him, gently placing a hand on his face to steady myself, trying not to let the butterflies in my stomach disturb me as his blue pupils fix on me. Slowly, I drip a few drops into his eyes, using a thumb to wipe away any stray droplets, almost smiling as he leans into my touch slightly. I pull away reluctantly, screwing the bottle back up and chucking it at the first aid kit before I take a seat beside him, inadvertently sitting close enough that our thighs are touching. 

Sighing, I reach into my pocket, pulling a pack of cigarettes out and removing one, offering them to him as I grab the box of matches from before again. He doesn't take one, saying something about sharing mine, watching me closely as I light it. Taking the first breath of smoke, I close my eyes and enjoy the burning of the cloud entering my lungs, slowly breathing it out again a moment later. Wordlessly, I hand the smoke to him, willing to share with him as I've always done, keeping my eyes closed for now. 

After a while, Mike hands the cigarette back, letting me take it as I stay blinded, placing the roll of paper and tobacco between my lips to puff on it languidly. It's not too long after that I feel a hand gingerly come to rest on my knee. Confused, I keep my eyes closed, not minding the contact and curious to see where this goes, holding back a gasp as he moves the strong grip further up my leg, closing his fingers over my thigh. A rustle and stifled grunt of pain alerts me to his movements, though it still shocks me a little as he leans in to smooth some hair from my face, removing the grip from my leg. Opening my eyes again, I look over at him, surprised to see him gazing at me with an intense expression on his face. 

Upon seeing me look, he cups my cheek, stroking his thumb over my cheekbone in a gentle manner I've never seen him display. I don't know what comes over me, but I suddenly find myself talking.

"Please don't do anything like that again." I murmur, voice quiet, "I don't know what I'd do if something happened."

Mike looks taken aback, shock clouding his features as he regards me, as if he never expected this level of closeness with me.

"Please, Mike. I don't know why, or how, but I've come to care about you, and I couldn't bear it if you weren't around." I inform him, looking down in embarrassment, blushing furiously. 

It's quiet for a long moment, before he suddenly leans in closer, breath ghosting over my face until he seals my lips with his. Tenderly, the stuntman kisses me, gently coaxing me into moving with him, one hand slipping round to tangle in my hair. Shocked, I feel my eyes close in surprised pleasure, body melting into him as he pulls me closer, our lips moving in perfect sync, his slightly rougher ones warm against my softer ones. It's not long before I feel his tongue slip out to flick against my lower lip, but before I can open up for him, he pulls away, resting his forehead against mine.

"I'll be more careful, I swear." He hums, stroking back my hair with his good hand, "For you, I'll be careful."

Smiling, I lean back in, kissing him softly on the lips, moving with him as he gently encourages me to sit on his lap, my legs straddling his as he wraps his arm around me. Pulling me flush against him, he kisses me passionately, swallowing the sounds of pleasure leaving me, splaying his hand on my back as I card mine through his thick hair. This time as he licks at my lips, I let him in immediately, letting the slick muscle slide inside to explore and rub alongside my own. Avoiding his bad arm, I moan into the kiss and pull on his hair, eliciting a groan from him. 

He pulls away again after some time, staring into my eyes with a care and love  I've never seen in them before, my heart skipping a beat as he smiles up at me, a genuine smile. Not his usual scheming smirk.

"Come on, let's go home. I wanna show you just how careful I can be." Mike smirks, his hand skimming down to squeeze a handful of my ass, making my hips rock forwards suddenly into his. He groans, helping me stand.

With his words in mind, I help him over to the car, opening the back door for him to climb in.

"I'm not letting you drive with one arm, and this is safer than the passenger's seat." I say as he shoots me a questioning look.

Mike shrugs and mutters an agreement, climbing into the seat behind me, waiting for me to get into the driver's seat and fasten myself in before talking again. 

"What happened to your car?" He asks, his good hand reaching round to run his fingers over my arm.

"Used it to blow up those bitches coming after you." I inform him, somewhat saddened by the loss of the vehicle - I had loved it.

"Thanks, sugar." He says, using his favourite nickname, most likely aware of the effect it has on me, especially as I feel him lean closer to the back of the seat, nosing at the side of my neck. Deftly, his tongue flicks out to lick over my pulse point, lips pressing against it to suck a mark, there drawing a moan from me.

"Gonna have to get you a new car, hm?" He almost purrs into my ear, biting my ear lobe before retreating again.

Feeling heat rushing to my core, I reluctantly put the car into drive and start to pull away, going slow as I wait for him to settle back into his seat and buckle himself up.

"That would be great." I chuckle, shakily.

"Yeah, it will be. Means I'll have somewhere else to fuck you besides mine and the bed." I blanch at his lewd words, feeling a heated need explode inside me at the idea of what he's suggesting.

As I pull away, I can't help but go faster than usual, using all my expertise to get us home as quickly as possible.

-

Tag list- @feirceangel @xlmonster-mashlx

#Death Proof #death proof #Stuntman Mike #Stuntman Mike x reader #Stuntman Mike imagine #Kurt Russell #Kurt Russell imagine #Quentin Tarantino #break writes

[the-sympathetic-villain]

A Life for a Life - Chapter 2

AO3 | Previous | Next | Masterpost

Prompt by @local-space-case: Prince Roman and his two loyal friends, Patton and Logan, are on the hunt for a dragon. Meanwhile, Dragonshifter!Janus  is just trying to find the right herbs to cure a sick/injured  Dragonshifter!Virgil. Bonus points for Anxciet and/or Protective Remus.

Word Count: 2122

Chapter warnings: Injury, Medical Treatment, Blood, Death Mentions, Cauterizing a Wound, Romantic Contact/Kissing, Swearing (Let me know if I missed anything!)

---

    “Janus,” Virgil protested weakly, reaching his hand up to Janus' cheek. His heart ached at the gaunt look of exhaustion in his lover’s eyes as he bent to examine Virgil’s wound. “Please, you can't keep going like this—”

    “I can and I will, Virgil.” Janus whispered, not looking up at him. “As long as it takes to lose those barbarians behind us.”

    “They’ll just keep coming—” Virgil groaned, raising his hand up as Janus backed away, distracted.

    “Wait here.”

    “Janus, don't walk away from me!” Virgil cried out quietly as Janus disappeared into the woods behind him. “Please—"

     Virgil sunk back into the tree behind him as despair caught in his throat. His chest heaved with heavy breaths as his eye darted around the shadowy forest, looking for Janus. His breath caught in his throat as the arrow moved in his abdomen, sending shooting pains across his chest. He groaned as the skin around the wound started to burn as his body attempted to force a shift back to his dragon form.

    Sucking in a breath, his body became rigid with tension as forced the shift to subside. He stifled a whimper as the small amount of magic left in his body went up in smoke, leaving him even weaker than before. He swore under his breath, cursing this fragile form and its miserable flaws. If he were alone, he would have shifted in an instant. Pain in this form was a truly miserable experience, but he wouldn’t give in to its demands. The intensity of the sensations in this body was intensely overwhelming, but it was lighter, and he'd be damned before he increase the burdened Janus was already bearing.

   “Stop squirming, Virgil.” Janus sighed as he came back into view. “You’re going to make it worse.”

    Virgil’s jaw clenched in pain as Janus kneeled down, dropping his supplies unceremoniously on the ground next to him. He let out a raspy breath, feeling his heart drop at the exasperation in Janus' tone.

    “I'm trying, Jan.”

    Janus hesitated at the whine in Virgil’s voice, guilt sinking in his stomach at the pained expression on his lover's face as he threw back his head. “I'm sorry. I don't mean to be an asshole while you’re hurt, Virg—"

    “Fuck that—” Virgil rasped, smirking at Janus in between breaths. “—Don't get all sappy on me now, Jan. Don’t make me actually admit how much trouble I’ve myself into this time.”

    Janus snorted, grinning fondly down at Virgil’s knowing smirk for a moment before leaning forward, softening as he rested a hand on Virgil’s waist near his wound. “Trust me, dearest. You’re going to want me to be gentle on this one.”

    Virgil blinked. His eyes followed Janus’ hand suspiciously, looking for an explanation as Janus slipped his other hand slipped around the back of his neck. His heart raced as Janus leaned into his lips, lingering on his breath as he continued to whisper.

     “Alright, dearest. Fortunately, we can assume the arrow missed anything vital or you would have bled out already."

    Virgil sucked in a breath, closing his eyes as Janus’ thumb brushed through his hair. “Why do I feel like there's a but coming?”

    “—but the arrow didn't go all the way through. These brutes—” Janus pursed his lips, eyes clenched as Virgil trembled. “—They put barbs on their arrows, so that if I pull it out, it will absolutely tear up your insides.”

    Virgil let out an unsteady breath, tensing as Janus’ forehead rested on his own. “You’re not exactly filling me with confidence, Jan.”

     “I’m sorry, Virgil. It has to go all the way through.” Janus whispered, breath catching in his throat as his lips brushed Virgil’s. “Once the arrow is through, I can cut off the tip and remove it. There's not time for me to find the right herbs to dull the pain, but I have to do this if we’re going to stop the bleeding. I'm so sorry—”

     “Do it, Jan.” Virgil whispered as he gave a stiff nod, muscles tense with anticipation. “Please, it's okay.”

     “Forgive me, dearest.” Janus leaned down. Softly, he caressed the back of his lover’s neck, pressing a gentle kiss to Virgil’s lips as his lover melted underneath him.  

    Virgil’s muscles reacted on instinct, relaxing at the familiar taste of Janus’ lips. The heat of Janus' breath sparked on his tongue sending a warm tingle down his body. His fear abated lost to the sensations as he instinctively leaned into Janus. His mind was nearly gone, lost to Janus' heat when the arrow suddenly moved in his gut. A sharp cry was ripped from his lips as Janus' arms curled around him, silencing his muffled cries as he buried his tears in Janus’ shoulder.

    “It's almost over.” Janus whispered gentle affirmations as Virgil gasped and curled into his shoulder. “You’re doing so well, Virgil.”

     Virgil whimpered at the lost warmth as Janus reluctantly pulled back. Weak with the burning pain, his vision blurred and he swayed and slumped back against the tree behind him.

     “Stay with me, love." Janus raised a hand to his cheek, comforting him gently as he moved to roll him to his side. “Don’t give up on me now.”

    “Never gonna happen.” Virgil slurred, heaving as he stared at the ground in front of him. He closed his eyes as he felt Janus' hands on his back.

    “I'm sorry, Virgil.” Janus rasped behind him, his voice quivering as he prepped the strips of clean cloth and few herbs he’d managed to gather in the nearby woods. “I should never have brought you here."

    “Don't even—” A growl pulled from his throat interrupted his thought as a sharp snap clicked behind him and the arrow’s shaft twitched in his back, letting him know that Janus had successfully removed the arrowhead.

    “I'm going to pull it out now.” Janus whispered, brushing off Virgil’s strained protest as he reached over the other shifter's waist to grip the arrow’s shaft. “Are you ready for—”

    “Janus, this isn't your fault.” Virgil whispered as his head dipped to the ground in exhaustion.

    “It doesn’t matter.” Janus muttered as he adjusted his grip, trying to settle his shaking hand as he prepared to remove the offending object.

    “It matters to me.” Virgil's hand reached up and closed around Janus’ grip, stopping him from pulling the weapon from his body. “You can't regret yesterday, Jan. You can't do that to me.”

    Janus froze at the unexpected force of Virgil’s grip as the weakened shifter held the fletching in place. The strain in his partner’s voice was evident as he clenched his jaw, rigid as he held Janus’ hand. Janus smirked, softening his grip as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to Virgil’s temple. “I didn’t mean that I regret any part I spent with you, dearest.”

    “Yesterday was the best day of my life.”

    Janus let out a soft scoff as he ran a hand through his lover's hair. “Might I remind you that you did get shot, Virgil.”

    “—but you started to bond with me, Janus.” Virgil whispered, sounding increasingly desperate as Janus brushed off his protests. “I felt you connecting—I did know I did—"

    Janus was paralyzed for a moment as he stared down at Virgil as the man’s grip loosened on the arrow, allowing Janus to slowly remove the arrow from his gut. Uncertain of what to say, he slowly rolled up the bottom of Virgil’s shirt and quick work of cleaning the wound. His arms felt heavy as Virgil fell silent, staring at the ground as Janus pressed a piece of cloth in to stop the worst of the bleeding. Janus let out an emotionally charged breath, feeling the warmth burn on his lips as he reached over to the bunch of herbs he had gathered from the woods.

    “Bite down.” Janus slipped a thick piece of cloth in between Virgil’s teeth as he whispered to him. His fingertips lingered on Virgil’s cheek as he leaned back on his ankles. “Try not to scream, dear. This is going to hurt, but it'll stop the bleeding.”

     Janus watched as Virgil nodded before lifting the bundle of Clara Ignus to his lips. He breathed heated air over the stalks of tiny red blooms until they jumped to life in his hands. The muted red turned to a glowing, vibrant orange as the embers fell from fireflower into his hand. The sight may even have been beautiful, if not for the purpose the herb was serving. Janus bit his lip as he lifted the cloth from Virgil’s skin and pressed the glowing ash into both sides of Virgil’s wound.

    His stomach turned with guilt as his lover squirmed helplessly against his grip, though to his credit, Virgil did not make even the smallest grunt of discomfort. The struggling lasted only a few seconds before the wound cauterized and Virgil seemed to lose the energy to remain tense. Janus pulled his hand back as Virgil stilled, staring at the wound as the ash fell away from the unscarred surface.

    “One last step.” Janus whispered as he pulled Virgil upright, still noting how quiet the man had become since he'd abruptly cut off their conversation. Slowly, Janus knelt behind Virgil, wrapping an arm behind his swaying figure to steady him.

    He turned over his shoulder to dig through his bag for the soothing balm he kept on hand for the various cuts and scratches Virgil accrued on their journeys. Burns were rarely a problem for the dragonshifter pair, but their unique nature tended to attract a fair amount of trouble.

    Janus' focus deepened as he pulled the small container of balm out of his bag and leaned back to Virgil, jumping as his partner’s head dropped lazily back on his shoulder.

    “I love you, Jan.”

    A soft smile curled on Janus' lips as he chuckled down at the glimmer in Virgil’s eyes. He reached down to his lover’s abdomen, spreading the balm as he whispered back. “I love you too, Virgil. You’re my everything.”

    “You started to dance in the sky with me, didn't you?” Virgil glanced up at him as Janus finished with the balm and sat him upright. “Please, just tell me that wasn’t all in my head.”

    Janus’ lip quivered as he started to wrap the makeshift bandages around Virgil’s chest. He was quiet until he tied off the cloth, pulling Virgil into his arms as his voice grew soft. “It wasn’t in your head, darling. I want to walk together with you in light and in darkness—"

    “—and to share my uncertainty and my bounties with you until we reach the horizon of our next life.” Virgil finished the old adage as he beamed up at Janus with a glistening in his eyes. “I know you have your reasons to be hesitant and I hope that you’re not feeling pressured—”

    “No, I want to share my soul with you, Virgil. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.” Janus whispered.  “When we get out of this mess, we'll finish our dance without the interruption of these barbaric brutes, and then we’ll spend the rest of our lives soaring through the sky together.”

    Virgil’s smile faltered for a brief moment as Janus curled around his shoulders. “Janus, you can’t outrun them.”

    “Who said anything about outrunning them?” Janus chuckled as a devious smile spread across his face.  “The plan is to intimidate them, dearest.”

    Virgil blinked, suddenly curious as he stared up at Janus. “How?”

    “They expect me to take to the sky,” Janus whispered as a yawn escaped his lungs. “but we’re going underground.”

     “The caves?” Virgil blinked as the gears turned in his head. “That’s almost certain death. No one knows what lives down there, but it’s not friendly.”

    “Almost certain is still better odds than letting these humans hunt us like animals.” Janus grinned, pressing a kiss to Virgil’s temple. “Like you said, they won't simply give up their hunt, but if they want to play the predator, we’re going to give them the chase of their lives.”

    “Hell yeah, we will.”

    Virgil flinched. His head swiveled suddenly at the sound of a branch snapping in the distance. When he turned back, he could see glittering amber scales started to spread across Janus’ face as he started to shift. Virgil reached a hand to the patch of bright orange scales appearing on the right side of his lover’s face and a determined smile pulled at his lips as Janus prepared to take to the sky.

General Taglist:

@somehow-i-got-an-account @justanotherhumanstuff @im-an-anxious-wreck

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #ts virgil #ts janus #anxceit #romantic anxceit #dragonshifter!virgil #dragonshifter!janus #A Life for a Life #villain writes

[binxyu]

Being an agent undercover was difficult enough but it being with Jung Hoseok- that was a whole other story. Of course, you expected for him to catch feelings for you because that was part of the plan- but getting a tattoo just to say you were his property? That was definitely not part of the plan.

>>Pairing: Jung Hoseok (dom) x fem!reader (sub) | mafia!hoseok x secret agent!reader

>>Word Count: 2.7k

>>Genre: Oneshot / Smut

>>Warnings/Kinks: Gun play/penetration, knives, murder, manipulation, mentions of drugs, blood, tattoos/needles, branding, creampie, oral (giving), overstimulation, fingering, unprotected sex, humiliation, mirrors, double penetration, and scratching

You had been working alongside Hoseok for months now. You were now his most trusted subject and you became that through murdering whoever he chose, sexual manipulation, and having the ability to figure out anyone you were supposed to.

Hoseok was referred to as ‘The Heir’ by your police department. This was because no officers dared to call him by his real name. They knew they wouldn’t live long if one of Jung’s, what they called Hoseok’s father, men found out about that.

Hoseok was the heir to one of the most notorious crime families in the country. Well, more like the world. The Jung family has been responsible for the exportation of millions of drugs and weapons, the murder of thousands, and so much more. Yet, your department could never seem to get enough evidence to put them in jail since Jung would just bribe them out of it.

That’s why you were sitting beside Hoseok at this exact moment. You were supposed to be the one to get that evidence that was needed to put their asses in prison for life. However, you hated to admit that you were growing rather fond of Hoseok.

He really was charming for a psychotic serial killer with an army of men waiting for any order he may give. 

“Okay y/n, I think it’s finally time I give you what you deserve”, your head tilted at Hoseok’s words. You two had just escaped an ambush and Hoseok was more than pleased with how well you protected him. You saved his life and for no payment.

“What I deserve?”, you asked as Hoseok put his arm around your shoulder. You couldn’t help but have certain thoughts run through your head and your cheeks went red.

“What my father requested you get. The mark of the Jung family”, you realized what he was referring to immediately. The tattoo that every member of the Jung empire. You had seen enough members to know the tattoo was a dagger with the initials of Hoseok’s father engraved on the handle. 

“Oh, I see”, you simply answered as the limo parked. You got out first and held the door open for the man. Hoseok got out and thanked you, adjusting his luxurious suit that had had blood smeared across the front of it just yesterday. Now, it seemed good as new and you wondered when he had managed to get it clear. 

That question didn’t last long because it was replaced with the question of who was going to give you this tattoo? Could you trust them?

Don’t be stupid. If Hoseok wanted you dead then you would be by now.

You calmed down and followed Hoseok, noticing a rather young man staring at the two of you.

“Boss! It’s been a while”, the young man greeted Hoseok, looking beyond happy to see him.

“Hello Han”, Hoseok smiled softly back and you never failed to be surprised when that smile appeared. It was so rare and precious. 

“The usual, sir?”, Han asked and you studied him curiously. You knew more than just tattoos took place here from just the sounds alone. The screams weren’t extremely loud but you could hear them from one specific room. You shook your head and didn’t focus on it. 

“Yes, but I would like to add red on the end of the dagger. She looks good with red on her skin”, you knew what Hoseok was referring to. He had seen you plenty of times with blood on your skin. You knew he loved the sight.

“Like blood I’m assuming, sir?”, Hoseok nodded and Han gently hooked his arm with your’s and guided you to the chair for you to sit down in. A table with all the tools for the tattoo was beside the chair and you looked at it. Han looked at Hoseok.

“Make it right above her breast”, Hoseok walked over and unbuttoned the top few buttons of your blouse, tapping on your skin with the tip of your finger. Of course he would want it above your heart. The tattoo artist nodded and got the needle ready before he cleaned the area above your breast and put the outline for that tattoo on your skin. 

You bit your lip and just looked at Hoseok to distract yourself as the needle started to dig slightly into your skin. It was painful, but it definitely wasn’t the worst pain you had ever felt. 

“Is there anything I can do for you today?”, Han asked as he finished up the tattoo, putting the finishing touch on the blood dripping down the dagger. You looked down to see the crimson red. 

It definitely looks like blood. I’m sure Han has seen his fair share of it too. 

“Yes”, Hoseok paused as he moved his gaze from your eyes down to your hand that was resting on the arm of the chair, “I want to put a tattoo myself” Han looked a little taken aback but he nodded after he was finished and moved out of the way.

“Another one?”, you asked curiously, tilting your head a little as Hoseok sat on the stool that Han was previously sitting at. He hummed and started to prepare the black ink he was going to use.

“The dagger shows you belong to my father. I want something on your skin that is a permanent reminder that you are mine too”, you blushed at his words, a little taken aback as the needle pricked your skin again. You just watched as Hoseok’s fingers gently held your own in place so the letters would not be ruined.

S. L. U. T.

You read each letter individually in your mind until you realized what it said. Across your knuckles read the word ‘slut’. 

“S-slut?’‘, you mentally cursed yourself for stuttering and Hoseok chuckled.

“Mhm. I know you like being called it and that’s what I call you. It suits you”, he leaned closer to your ear and whispered, “my pretty slut. Maybe we should get out of here and make use of that tattoo, hmm?”.

You gulped and nod, shivers going up your spine from the feeling of his cold breath against your ear.

“Thank you, Han. We’ll be on our way now”, Hoseok helped you up off the chair before he started to button your blouse back up, his fingers ghosting over the dagger on your chest. Only the tip of the dagger was visible after he was done and you looked over at Han. 

You started to dig for your wallet, ready to pay the man but he gently put his hand around your wrist to stop you. 

“No, it’s okay. Any friend of the boss is on the house”, if you didn’t know better, you would say Han was an innocent and charming young man, but you did know better. He had probably seen more death than you had.

“Thank you”, you returned his bright smile with your own before Hoseok took your hand in his own and guided you out of the building.

“I should’ve asked for you to have baby written on your knuckles so people know you belong to me too”, you joked quietly and giggled. Hoseok looked at you and opened the door to the limo. 

“You think I belong to you?”, he asked, an eyebrow raised teasingly and you smirked as you moved to get into the vehicle first. 

“Oh, I know you do”, you whispered into his ear and sat down in your seat. He looked taken aback but got in beside you, your words replaying in his mind as you two rode in silence back to the penthouse.

“Come on, let’s have some fun”, Hoseok quickly dragged you out of the vehicle once you got to the building. Hoseok’s bodyguards allowed you in and you two went into the elevator. His penthouse was on the top floor of the building and you had always wondered what was found on the other levels, but you never asked. It wasn’t your place to.

The elevator door opened and you walked inside the penthouse, going to sit on the bed across the room since you assumed that’s exactly where Hoseok would eventually lead you anyways. 

“I do think you deserve to be rewarded, y/n”, Hoseok takes off his leather gloves and sets them on the kitchen counter before he walks over to where you were and lifted your head up to look at him with his finger that was under your chin.

“For what, Hoseok?”, you tried to keep your voice steady despite the wetness gathering between your legs. 

“For staying by my side and doing what I ask. We’re going to kill anyone that stands against us, isn’t that right?”, you quickly nodded and moved back on the bed so Hoseok could crawl onto it.

“C-could I reward you first? I feel like you could use it”, you softly smiled and Hoseok smiled back, slowly nodding since he had never been asked such a thing. You put your hands on his chest and pushed him to lay down on the bed. Hoseok looked up at the mirror on the ceiling and watched your reflection as you started to unbutton his clothes for him and toss the fabric to the floor. 

“I’ll be your good slut master”, you saw the man get significantly harder from your words and you smiled before you started to wrap your mouth around his cock. You took as much of him into your mouth as you could and wrapped your hand around the rest. Hoseok moaned at the sight of your head bobbing up and down on his dick and your hand with the tattoo pumping the base of it.

“Fuck, that looks so amazing”, he groaned and you took that as encouragement to continue what you were doing, moving a little faster. Hoseok’s hand trailed down to your jeans and he started to unbutton them, pushing his hand into your panties when they were visible. You moaned around his cock and rocked your hips against his finger when he started to rub your clit with it.

Hoseok’s moans became louder from the vibrations and he pushed two of his fingers inside of your dripping wet cunt. You whimpered from the stretch and started to bounce your hips to ride his fingers as you hallowed your cheeks to suck him off better.

You knew you really did look like a whore right now and you loved it. The knowledge that slut was inked into your knuckles and that those knuckles were jerking Hoseok off was enough to make a loud moan spill from your lips. Hoseok’s gripped your hair with his free hand and started to force your head down further, making you choke on his dick and you gasped for air.

“Don’t be pathetic slut. I don’t care if you’re choking, keep going”, you held back the tears threatening to spill from your eyes and started to move your head again as you speed up your hips when Hoseok added another finger. He curled them against your walls when you sank back down onto them and the sensation caused your legs to shake. His fingers were easily knuckle deep. 

Hoseok’s grip tightened in your hair even more and you knew he was close. He came down your throat and you swallowed all of his seed like he had taught you. He gripped your hip with his free hand and turned you onto your back, making it easier for him to help you finish too. His fingers started to thrust much faster than before and you desperately gripped his arm as your legs shook more, your nails digging into his skin. 

You came around Hoseok’s fingers with a loud moan of his name. He smirked and brought his finger out of your panties to lick them. The sight made your eyes widen as his cheeks hallowed and he sucked on the digit, cleaning it completely of your cum. He removed the rest of your clothes entirely and you looked up at the mirror, waiting for his next move.

“I know you’ve wanted to try this for a long time. I could tell by how you look at it when I’m cleaning it”, you watched cautiously as Hoseok went over to where his jacket was lying on the floor and retrieved his pistol from the pocket. That’s when it hit you what he was referring to. You knew you had fantasized about Hoseok using a gun for your pleasure before, but you never expected him to realize you did.

“Hmm, what to do with you?”, he asked himself and trailed the gun down your chest, the cold metal against your bare skin causing you to let out a soft moan. You honestly felt a little scared but you were quickly reassured when Hoseok pulled the trigger and only a puff of air came out. 

“P-please fuck me with it master”, you begged and the man chuckled at how desperate you were to have anything inside of you. Hoseok cleaned the barrel of the gun and you watched his hands move up and down it with a rag. He moved the tip of the gun in circles around your hole, causing you to clench around nothing in anticipation. 

Slowly, the barrel of the gun was being pushed inside of you and you watched the reflection in the mirror as the top of the gun slowly disappeared inside of you. You looked down and saw the tip bulged in your stomach, making your mouth fall open in pain and pleasure. 

“It fits so perfectly”, Hoseok commented before he started to thrust the barrel in and out of you. You clenched around the metal with a loud moan and gripped the sheets.

“Pull the trigger! Please!”, you moaned out and Hoseok nodded before he slowly pulled the trigger of the pistol. The rush of air made your back arch and the sight of you squirming and moaning from his pistol caused Hoseok to groan too. He moved the gun a little more to the side and slowly pushed himself inside of you too. 

You screamed a little from the stretch, tears prickling your eyes and you whimpered loudly. Hoseok kissed your face gently, easing you into the feeling by slowly moving the weapon and his hips. As he sped up, your moans got louder and louder to the point that Hoseok had to cover your mouth with his free hand and he noticed something laying in your pile of clothes. 

“Shhh slut. Take it like a good girl and be quiet”, you breathed heavily and whined as you tried your best to nod. The overstimulation was causing your second orgasm to come much faster and your legs were beginning to cramp.

Hoseok groaned as his cock rubbed against the barrel inside of you, the cold metal was a pleasant sensation he hadn’t felt before. He was going to cum soon too.

“Cum with your master, okay?”, Hoseok spoke softly and you nodded so he moved his hand away from your mouth. He counted down and you both came on three, your cum mixing inside of you before Hoseok pulled the gun out and watched his cum flow out of you.

He moved to lay beside you and pulled you into his arms, gently stroking your hair. You tried to catch your breath and relaxed in his embrace.

“I love you”, the words surprised you to say the least and fear struck your heart as you thought about what to say in response.

Is this a test? Do I love him back?

I do.

“I love you too”, your words came out clear enough for you to know you weren’t lying.

“Then why did you betray me?”, Hoseok pointed to the burner phone next to your jacket on the floor and your eyes went wide at the sight of it. You forgot to toss it out after you called your department earlier that day with information.

“I-I can e-explain”, you mentally cursed yourself out for stuttering.

“What a shame. I really did like you”, he pressed a knife against your neck and looked at the word across your knuckles.

Slut. 

#jung hoseok #hoseok smut #hoseok imagines #hoseok fluff #hoseok x reader #bts hoseok #hoseok smuts #hoseok reactions #hoseok imagine #hoseok scenario #hoseok scenarios #jung hoseok scenarios #hoseok drabbles #hoseok blurbs #bts hoseok smut #bts smut #bts imagines #bts drabbles #bts headcannons #bts blurbs #bts scenarios #min yoongi #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #kim taehyung #park jimin #jeon jungkook #jimin smut #jungkook smut #hoseok

[imaginedhaven]

Reluctantly Rooming: Part Twelve

Link to Masterpost

I didn’t think I’d have this done so quickly, but here we are!

Content/Warning: While not intended to be a main focus of the work, this chapter does contain discussion of sexual orientation and the revelation of a side character as a trans man (who is almost assuredly not trans in the original canon). While I definitely want to be as respectful as possible even though I’m only barely broaching the topic, I cannot claim to be trans myself, so if I’ve gotten something wrong in my admittedly-minimal talk about it please tell me!

Today’s prompts:

Aelin getting stood up for a date

and

Inappropriate exclamations during an innocent massage

~*~*~

Aelin crossed her legs, leaning forward with an interest she was struggling to feel. “So, Ilias, you said you’re here for work? What is it you do?”

Ilias grinned a little too sharply at her, amusement flashing in sea-green eyes. “I work in… private security. I’m afraid I can’t say more than that.”

“Right.” She began to fidget with the skewer that had held her drink’s cherry, searching for something else to say.

“You seem uncomfortable. Want to get out of here?”

Oh gods, was he really…? Yes, he was leaning in, and the way his eyes flitted down her torso and then back up meant he was saying exactly what she thought he was saying.

“You know, if I’m being honest I don’t know if this is going to work,” she blurted out. “I mean, with you being based so far west of here, and traveling all over for your work… I’m not looking for forever on a first date, but maybe something a bit more stable than that.”

Ilias’ brow furrowed, then he nodded with an easy grin. “Fair enough. I definitely can’t promise stable.”

~*~*~

It had been a while since Aelin had been on a date with a woman, but she knew without a doubt that wasn’t the cause of the nerves settling in the pit of her stomach as golden eyes flashed at her from the barstool beside her. “Can I ask you a question that’s probably a bit rude?”

Her companion—Manon, that was her name—merely raised an amused eyebrow.

Aelin blurted out the question that had been at the tip of her tongue for the past several minutes. “Do you find that people being both scared and turned on is a normal reaction around you, or is it just me?”

Manon smirked, flicking her platinum braid over her shoulder. “It’s what I aim for,” she replied with a flash of sharp teeth.

Aelin laughed. “Okay, if I’m being honest we’re probably a terrible romantic match, but I like you. This is probably weird, since we’re on what’s supposed to be a date, but I have this friend who I think would absolutely love you…” Aelin trailed off, scrolling through the pictures on her phone.

Pointed nails dug into her shoulder as Manon peered at the screen. “I’m interested.”

Aelin blinked. “I haven’t told you anything about Elide.”

“I can see what I need to know about her from the way she’s holding herself in that picture. I’m willing to meet if she is.”

“I’ll introduce you on the condition that you teach me that trick you used on the guy you passed on your way in.”

“Deal.”

“You’re the best.”

“I know.”

~*~*~

Aelin sighed from the corner of the bar, shaking her head as Lysandra gave her a questioning stare. Ress was late. Incredibly late, not just something she could attribute to traffic.

She swirled the whiskey in her glass, watching the amber liquid to stop herself from checking her phone for the fifth time in as many minutes. He would show up if and when he showed up, and she was determined to not be bothered by it even though it bothered her immensely.

Maybe she should take Lysandra up on her offer to set her up. It couldn’t be worse than her experience trying to find people on dating apps.

Finally, her phone chimed as the screen lit up with an unfamiliar number. Aelin, it’s Ress. I’m so sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. There’s been a huge disaster at work and apparently I’m the one who gets to clean it up.

Aelin sighed. Well, at least he’d texted her.

~*~*~

“Three flops in as many weeks, Lysandra, I think I’m cursed.” Aelin sighed and nestled further into the couch. “I mean, I went on a run today to try and calm down. Who goes on runs?”

“Rowan goes on runs,” her friend replied wickedly. “And I told you from the start that dating apps were hit or miss. This isn’t college anymore.”

“I didn’t have to worry about it in college,” she reminded her.

“That’s right, you were doing that thing with Sam where you thought you were a lesbian and Sam hadn’t fully come to the realization that he was a guy yet. You know, I still can’t believe you two wound up staying friends after how that fell out.”

Aelin grimaced. Some days she couldn’t quite believe it, either; she had hardly been graceful about it in college. “It took a lot of distance and a lot of growing up,” she admitted. “And a lot of admitting that I said a lot of things I didn’t mean.”

“Anyhow, if you’re ready to hear my ideas, I could set you up with Archer.”

Aelin frowned, rubbing at a sudden cramp in her calf muscles. “Is that a person’s name, or a profession?”

“It’s his name. I can help you with that, if you want.” Lysandra leaned forward and took over, deftly massaging her leg.

“And how exactly do you know this Archer?”

“I worked with him at that massage parlor in Rifthold.”

“No.”

“What do you mean, no?” Lysandra’s brow furrowed in confusion.

Aelin scowled. “No one from Rifthold.”

Green eyes softened in understanding. “He’s not like—”

“I don’t care. No.”

Thankfully, her friend dropped it there, instead focusing on working the knot out of her sore muscles. “I could also set you up with Rowan.”

Aelin groaned. “Oh gods, Lys. No.”

“What do you have to lose?”

“My dignity? My ability to live with him, and therefore my home?” She turned her head just enough to glare at her friend, otherwise remaining practically boneless as she sprawled across the couch.

Lysandra laughed. “You think Aedion wouldn’t kick him out over you?”

“I don’t want it to come to that. So no, you’re not setting me up with him.”

“But you could go on runs together, and when you push yourself too hard he could probably carry you home.”

“You’re a terrible influence. Remind me why we’re friends again?”

“Because you’re a worse one,” her friend grinned. “Besides, I can do this.”

A few deft strokes of Lysandra’s hands had the tension leaving her leg, and she moaned in relief. “Gods, that feels so good.”

“See? Everyone likes my hands, they’re one of my best features.”

“Don’t get all smug with me—yes, right there!”

A loud noise near the doorway had them both freezing and looking over, only to discover that Rowan had gotten home early and looked absolutely mortified. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Aelin, you have a room.”

Aelin blushed hotly as she played back the last several moments of their conversation. Exactly how much had he heard? Hopefully it was just the last part; as awkward as it was, it was easier to explain than her misplaced attraction to him. “As trite as this sounds, it’s not what it looks like.”

“So you haven’t brought one of your recent dates home?” As odd as it was to think, she was relieved by the scowl on his face; the expression combined with his words indicated that he hadn’t heard them talking about him.

“Gods, no. This is Lysandra. From the bar, remember?”

Bless her, Lysandra stood and waved with a grin. She was less thrilled with what her friend proceeded to say, though. “Your friend here pushed too far running and hurt her leg. I was just helping with that.”

Immediately Rowan’s gaze fixated on her legs, obviously searching for any obvious sign of injury. Aelin sighed. “I’m fine, buzzard. It was just a muscle cramp.”

He nodded, the motion sharp and jerky, and strode into the kitchen, fetching a glass of water with almost mechanical precision. “I guarantee you didn’t drink enough water before you ran. This should help prevent it from coming back.”

She scowled, but obediently sipped from the glass after he handed it to her. “I thought you weren’t supposed to right before running. Doesn’t that upset your stomach?”

“I’m talking about yesterday, Aelin. You should be keeping well-hydrated on a daily basis if you’re going to take up running.”

“You just want me to drink more water,” she accused. “That sounds made up.”

“Just try it,” he replied. “You’ll thank me later.”

Her head jerked back toward the living area at the sound of a door closing, only to find that Lysandra had taken the opportunity to quietly let herself out. Her friend grinned and waved from the driveway when she saw her, clearly realizing she was caught and utterly unrepentant.

Aelin sighed and turned back to Rowan, who was watching her with an expression she couldn’t quite identify. “You’re really okay?” he asked.

She nodded. “I just needed something to help me not think for a while after these shit dates I’ve been on lately, and I’m told drinking alone is a sign of having a problem.”

The corner of his lips quirked up in the barest hint of a smile. “They must’ve been really bad, to make you consider running as a viable option.”

Aelin shrugged. “I mean, I’ve had worse, but I’ve also had better? It was just one miss after another, you know?”

He glanced at her again, then turned toward the refrigerator. “I think I have everything we need to make pasta, if that’ll help you feel better.”

“You’d actually make me pasta?” She frowned; there had to be some kind of catch. There was no way he would simply allow that many carbs to be on his stovetop at the same time.

“I would,” he replied, heading toward the pantry and grabbing…

“Wait, that’s not pasta,” she blurted out. Gods, she knew there was a catch.

He laughed, rolling up his sleeves before grabbing their eggs as well. “It’s not pasta yet.”

“You can’t seriously mean—” There was no way he was actually making pasta from scratch. There was a reason it came in boxes, she was sure of it.

“I can and I do. Now either stop talking and watch or get out of my kitchen.”

Aelin chose to watch, and the play of muscles in his forearms as he made and kneaded his own pasta dough was almost enough to make her forget about why she’d thought it was a good idea to try dating again in the first place.

Almost.

~*~*~

Tagging:

@ireallyshouldsleeprn @queen-of-glass @fangirlprincess09 @sassys-world @morganofthewildfire @superspiritfestival @perseusannabeth @sis-it-dont-add-up @jlinez @julemmaes @emilyoftheshadows @thegoddessofyou @mymultiversee @swankii-art-teacher @rowansfirebringer @livsdriverslicense @courtofjurdan @danibutterr @woollycat22 @rowaelinismyotp @sleeping-and-books @acciowests @stardelia @anidealiveson

#rowaelin #haven writes #reluctantly rooming

[thisisawonderfulusername]

let's save the world

season two, episode six

five hargreeves x reader

summary: you attend a light supper with the hargreeves family- you’re confident to say it was a shit supper

warnings: cursing, the asshole reginald

word count: 4.5k

a/n: okay, i’m so sorry that this part took so long to come out (it’s also kinda short but that’s more because the episode focuses a lot more on the other siblings), at first i stopped writing for a week or two and then i kinda focused on requests because i didn’t want those people waiting too long, but hopefully i’ll be able to crank these out over the next week and finish the second season. which comes the question: when season three comes out, do you want me to continue this? it might be a while, and it will also depend if i feel like continuing, but i want to know what you want as well. thanks :) please enjoy

i’m also sorry if there are any inconsistencies. i realized i’ve had r go back to the cafe on multiple occasions when she said she wouldn’t be back- i went ahead and changed that. i might have to read through my own story to fix my mistakes 😪

after your drunken four person party at the hair salon, everyone went on their own ways to confront the issues they had so that they could have some semblance of peace before the six days you had were up.

you couldn’t exactly face your problem. it came in the form of a certain fifty-eight year old man that had fucked up both of your bodies, and you didn’t know where he was. sure, you could admit the problem and see that as facing it, but you wanted to at least tell five. you had no clue as to why.

for that moment, you allowed yourself to let it go. you were stumbling through the streets with the near empty bottle of champagne almost slipping from your grip. it was definitely a sight to see, one that would definitely be concerning to the passerby- only a few spared you a glance, though.

when you ended up at the cafe that you had missed, even after only being away for a day or two, you looked through the window from a few feet away. taking one last glance to the bottle, you quickly downed the remaining drink before tossing it into a nearby trash can and pushing through the door that rang a bell atop it.

stacy happened to be on shift, and when she looked over to see you, she had a smile at first- until she noticed your state. “y/n? what happened?”

waving your hand in dismissal, you push past the swinging gate. her face scrunches up as you move past her, “is that- are you drunk?”

with a shrug, you lean against the door to the back, only a push away from falling straight onto your back. “i’d like to think i hold my alcohol well,” you lick your lips, a small smile tugging your lips up, “it’s nice to see you again.”

before she had a chance to respond- to question why you were drinking, since she thought you to be a teenager, you had pushed through into the kitchen. you could walk to the stairs to the apartment with your eyes closed, and you nearly did. it was made a bit more difficult, since you were unable to balance fully on your feet, but you managed.

it only took you a few minutes to wrestle with the lock before you stumbled through the door and to the bed, falling onto the soft mattress, almost instantaneously passing out.

-

when you woke up, you had a killer headache, and you had to lay with your face in the pillow beneath your head- one that had a pool of drool sinking into the fabric, but you couldn’t care for that right now- for a few minutes to remember what you did yesterday that gave you the horrible ache. it came back to you slowly, and you sighed heavily as you sat up, running your fingers through your messed hair.

standing from the bed, you made your way into the bathroom, looking in the mirror hanging above the sink to fix you hair that seemed to have gone through hell, with how it had been messed up so severely.

you shook your head once you were done, fixing your shirt slightly and grabbing a pain killer before shutting the light off and moving to leave the apartment. your eyebrows furrowed when your gaze fell upon an envelope that looked like it had been slipped through the crack at the bottom of your door.

glancing around the small room cautiously, you slowly stepped towards it, snatching it up off of the wooden floor once you made it. it was plain, save for the circular golden sticker holding the flap closed.

you pursed your lips, hesitantly pulling the sticker off and pulling the card inside out. your eyes skimmed over the words written.

from the office of sir reginald hargreeves

to my pursuers:

i, reginald hargreeves, request the pleasure of your company for a light supper on the twentieth of november, nineteen sixty-three, at half past seven o’clock.

-1624 magnolia street-

dallas, texas

“shit,” you mutter to yourself quietly, the envelope drifting to the floor as you release your grip on it to scratch your scalp. glancing towards the calendar, which had previously been used to count the days you were stuck here alone, your eyebrows furrow. “that’s today.”

-

you make your way to the address listed on the paper, looking at the tall building once you finally make it.

southland life.

reading the card once more to be sure this was the place, you sighed softly and walked across the parking lot to get to the entrance, not sparing another look up as you walk through the door.

looking around as you make your way up polished steps, you stuff the now folded card into your back pocket. as you get to the elevators, you see that one is already opened, so you quickly walk over to get in before it leaves you behind.

when you look into the opened doors, you stop for a moment when you see five. “oh,” you stare at him for a moment. “you’re back.”

“yeah.” he motions to his side for you to actually step in, and you realize that you hadn’t actually done that yet, practically jumping inside.

you stick your hands in your pockets. “you usually don’t just up and go like that on me.” you point out his previous actions, indirectly questioning where he had gone that was so important to leave you behind.

“sorry,” he glances to the ground, and you could tell he actually was. “i-”

he was cut off by the sight of a hand stopping the doors just as they nearly closed, “wait up.”

it’s diego who steps into the small space next, and you all look at each other in surprise and confusion, before the rest of the hargreeves family files in, all glancing at each other. it ends with luther, who you have to move to the side for.

the doors finally close on all of you, and there is a silence that you know is from the anticipation of what exactly is going to happen. the numbers over the doors begin to light up, one by one, each letting a ding echo through the space.

after a few seconds, a stench fills the air that has your nose beginning to scrunch up as you try not to breathe in- everyone else notices the smell, and soon it’s realized that luther was the one who had caused it. “sorry.” he stared straight at the numbers, not looking at any of you, “i’m nervous.”

the doors take way too long to open, but when they do everyone is rushing out, covering their noses to avoid smelling it any longer.

when you enter the floor, a sign hanging from a pole supporting the roof tells you that it is a tiki bar- if it wasn’t obvious enough from the beachy decorations surrounding you.

“alright,” five is the first to get to the table, standing by a seat surrounding the circle. “when dad gets here, i’ll do the talking, okay?”

it’s more of a statement than a question- you know that and you aren’t about to argue. the only thing you know about the man is what five told you when he was actually thirteen. that he was a man who cared for nothing but himself and creating a team that he could control. you believed it. it was hard not to.

“i’ve got a few questions for him myself.” diego tells him, and you know if he actually managed to ask any of them, this whole meeting would be over in an instant. he wasn’t exactly the calm and understanding type.

you shake your head as you turn to look at them, standing at the chair next to five, “we don’t want to scare him off.” you tell them, glancing over everyone, “he might be able to help us stop this new apocalypse and get home.”

the man isn’t so ready to cooperate. “no, y/n, we need to figure out why he’s planning to kill the president.”

“okay, this is a matter of life and death, you imbecile!” five argues back, and you can tell this supper is going to be a real shit show.

“okay, maybe we should take turns talking?” vanya suggests, everyone looking to her as she grabs one of the decorations, “alright, whoever has this conch shell gets to talk.”

you run a hand down your face. this family and their terrible communication. “vanya, we don’t have time for a debate, okay?” five tells her, already seeming to begin to lose his patience.

“maybe i should lead.” allison walks forward and takes the shell from the other girl, “we all know i’m a much better public speaker than the rest of you.”

diego looks at her from where he paces, “okay, daddy’s girl.” the jab is small, but you know it’s going to set off a lot. you look to five, your expression showing all of what you think. he just shrugs.

“oh, jealous number two?” the girl questions, raising an eyebrow at him.

the man moves around the table, “hey, no more numbers.” he glances around, “no more bullshit. we’re team zero.”

your eyebrows furrow in confusion. what is this crap? team zero?

“uh, diego.” luther speaks from his seat, “you don’t have the conch.” he motions to the object in allison’s hand.

you have to look down at the table to hold in your laugh at that.

the man gives a tight lipped smile, holding his finger up for a second before taking the conch from allison and... throwing it, letting it shatter against the wall.

you’re about to finally let your laugh out, until the door comes swinging open, reginald swiftly making his way to the table as everyone stares. he sits and everyone is silent as they take their seats as well, and you fidget with your fingers.

“you have not only burglarized my lab, set my chimp loose,” his tone is serious as he fixes the cuffs of his sleeves, “conned your way into the mexican consulate, repeatedly stalked and attacked me,” you didn’t realize how much you had really done until you had gotten the list from the old man, and you see that he has brought a notebook with him when he brings out a pencil. “but you have, on numerous occasions, called me...”

klaus is pulling a chair out next to him, a drink in hand. of course he had gone to the bar already. “hey, pop.” he smiles as he sits and leans back in the chair, “how’s it hangin’?”

reginald barely looks at him when he intrudes his little speech, his eyes moving to look around at all of you. “...dad.” you glance to your side to see how five’s doing, and as you had expected, he was annoyed. you could tell by the way his jaw had begun to lock in it’s place. “my reconnaissance tells me that you are not cia, not kgb, certainly not mi-five, so.” he places the pencil on the table, “who are you?”

everyone is silent, not sure exactly what to say, but five speaks up after a moment. “we’re your children.”

“except for me.” you cut in, holding up a finger just so he knew. you did not want to be associated with this man.

his gaze falls on you two as five takes a quick glance in your direction, “we’re from the future.” he continues as if you hadn’t interrupted him, “in nineteen eighty-nine, you adopted us and trained us to fight against the end of the world.” the old man looks around, seemingly not believing what he was saying. “called us the umbrella academy.”

his gaze continues to move around, “why on earth would i adopt six-”

“seven.” he is cut off by allison, “one of us isn’t here.”

diego is staring at the table, “dead.” he informs, looking up, “one of us is dead.”

“yeah, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, enough of that now,” klaus speaks from his chair and you all look to him, slightly confused as he had turned to talk to what seemed like an empty space behind him. he turns back to the table, waving his hand in a silent sign to continue.

reginald laces his fingers together on the table, “regardless,” he looks away from who looked like a crazy person, “what would possess me to adopt seven ill-mannered malcontents?”

“we all have special abilities,” you lean forward on the table with a pursed smile on your face, “but, once again, you didn’t get me.” you wag your finger in the air, feeling the need to reassure that point.

“special?” reginald seems to ignore your second point, an eyebrow raised in interest, “in what sense?”

“in the superpower sense.” luther speaks from beside him, giving a small smile as he nods.

the old man looks to him, “call me old fashioned, but i’m a stickler for a pesky little thing called evidence.” he returns his gaze to everyone, “show me.”

allison picks up her drink, stirring it with her straw, “everyone wants to see powers all of a sudden,” she jokes, taking a sip.

“we’re not circus animals, okay?” luther informs him, “we’re not going to balance balls on our noses and... clap our hands like seals for your amusement.” he claps his hands together a few times. just as he finished speaking, though, a knife flies through the air, curving around reginald to stick in one of the wooden pillars.

it’s quiet as everyone looks at the knife, before reginald opens his notebook and begins scribbling something. everyone leans forward, “what are you writing?” diego questions quickly.

he looks up from the paper, “you are zero for two, young man.”

allison giggles into her drink, and diego begins to push away from the table to go after their dad. you try to stand and stop him, but five gets there before you in a flash of blue. “stop!” he whispers to him, his hands on his shoulders for a moment to keep him from moving any further.

you sit back down in your seat, and look to reginald, who seems impressed. “now, that is interesting.”

with a sigh, five moves away. “alright, quick run down.” he begins to move around the table, pointing to each person as he gives away their powers, “luther: super strength, klaus can commune with the dead, y/n can create and control fire, and allison can rumor anyone to do anything.”

“but she never uses it.” diego takes his seat again, and allison rolls her eyes.

looking up from her drink, she looks to him. “i heard a rumor, you punched yourself in the face.” his eyes turn white and his hand balls into his fist before colliding with his face, and you cringe as he groans in pain, holding his head in his hands.

as he curses in pain, reginald seems to ignore it as he looks to the woman sitting next to him. vanya. “and you?” he questions her.

“uh, maybe we don’t take vanya for a test run.” luther suggests, and everyone seems to agree.

she looks nonchalant about it. “it’s fine.” she says with a shrug, “i can handle it.”

she reaches for a fork, and everyone begins to try to stop her, “handle it?” allison questions with a raised brow, “last time you handled it, you definitely blew up the moon.”

when she doesn’t seem to be stopping to everyone’s protests, clinking the metal to her glass, all of you begin to push away from the table, but it’s too late when the fruit at the center of the table explodes, covering the table and everyone around it.

you look to your shirt in disgust. she couldn’t have done something a bit less messy?

she smiles in her seat, shrugging her shoulders as she looks to the table. “oops.”

allison presses her lips together as she gets another drink and switches her straw over. diego stands from his seat, leaning onto the table. “look, we know you’re involved in a plot to assassinate the president.” he speaks, and you roll your eyes at his continued insistence to save the president, as if that wouldn’t change the timeline one bit.

reginald looks to him. “you were recently hospitalized, correct?” you can’t help but to clench your jaw at the mention, “you still appear to be suffering from delusions of grandeur and acute paranoia.” his tone is matter of fact.

you look to five, who also seems to be knowing the direction this dinner was taking. south. plummeting into a near-erupting volcano that bubbled at the surface.

“am i?” diego pulls the picture of their dad in the grassy knoll out of his back pocket, reaching over the table to put it in front of him. “that’s you.” he informs, pointing to his figure in the picture, “that’s two days from now on the grassy knoll, at the exact spot the president is going to get shot.”

picking the paper up, he looks to him after inspecting it for a moment. “well...” he looks around before passing the picture back over the table, “i suppose you’ve solved it. you have single handedly unearthed my nefarious plot.”

diego looks at him, and you bite your lip. suddenly, you feel bad for him- mostly because reginald was a bastard that you could easily burn for everything he had done. “is that what you wanted to hear?” he questions, “you fancy yourself a do-gooder? the last man who will save us from our descent into corruption and conspiracy?” everyone is silent as he continues, “this is a fantastic delusion. despite the reality that you are a desperate man, tragically unaware of his own insignificance, desperately clinging to his own ineffectual reasoning. more succinctly, a man in over his head.”

he had sunk back down to his seat throughout his father’s speech, and you could see the tears gathering in his eyes. you look to five and he returns your gaze, and you can feel the frown that sets into your face. he sighs softly, looking down to the table as diego stutters his denial.

everyone is silent for another few moments, and you shake your head. “look, forget about the president.” you wave your hand as if to swat the idea out of the air, “we have a catastrophic war coming in five days. we need to figure out how to stop it.”

reginald looks at you. “war? men will always be at war with one another.”

“no, this isn’t just some war.” five tells him from beside you, his fingers laced together on the table that he leans on, “we’re talking about a doomsday. the end of the world.”

the old man looks at him for a moment. “well,” he says after a moment, raising his hands to motion to the group, “you’re the special ones, aren’t you?” he smiles, but you can see the sarcasm behind it, “why don’t you band together and do something about it?”

you all stare at him, until from the chair next to him, klaus’ hands fly up into the air and he begins to shake, choked gasps escaping him. “is he having a seizure?” allison asks in concern, everyone looking at him in confusion.

“overdosing, probably.” diego comments.

luther’s eyebrows furrow, “should we do something?”

“klaus!” five whisper-yells at the man as he leans over the table, “now is not the time! what are you doing?”

he slowly turns towards where you’re sitting, and you grimace as you see the vessels that are beginning to pop out from beneath his skin, his face turning red from his choked breathing. “i’m...” the word is barely there.

“out with it, boy!” reginald exclaims.

“ben!” after the word is spoken, he goes limp and falls to the ground, shuddering from where he lays on the wood.

reginald closes his book, placing it on top of some folders that he had also brought, “well...” standing from his seat, he tucks the things in the nook of his arm, “thank you all for coming. i’ve seen about enough.”

as he steps over the barely conscious klaus, luther watches, “no- i-” after a second, his hands slam down onto the table, making you flinch slightly from the sudden bang. he stands, ripping his button-up open, “look at what you did to me!” he seems distressed as he shouts, “look at it!”

five lets out a slight huff, falling back into his seat. “oh, shit. why?”

you bury your face in your hands, unable to comprehend how broken this family is. what is wrong with all of them? you don’t think you’ll ever know.

you look back up as reginald glances around before pointing to five. “you in the culottes.” the young-looking boy lifts his head to look at him, “a word, in private?” he doesn’t give him a chance to answer as he turns to leave, walking away from the family.

watching as five gets up, you fight for words but can’t manage to say anything as he leaves you behind. he seems to enjoy doing that these past two days.

“check, please.” allison holds her finger up for the waiter to end this shit show already. you don’t even wait for the paper to come, standing from your seat to get in the elevator ahead of them all.

the numbers ticked down as you stare up at them, letting out a soft sigh in the otherwise silent space. when the doors slide open, you’re left staring out into the hallway for a moment before you finally stepped out and left the building to be hit with the chilly night air.

deciding to stay a bit to possibly catch five on his way out you move to the side of the entrance on the sidewalk, sitting down on the cold concrete. you can see the cars waiting in the parking lot. you think one of them must be reginald’s.

a few minutes later the other siblings exit the building, and you watch silently as they begin to make their way away from the building- but diego and luther come to talk to you first.

“you’re not heading back to elliott’s place?” the knife thrower questions, raising an eyebrow at you as you look at him.

shaking your head, you pull your knees to your chest to get a bit more warmth. “i’m going to try to wait for five. i’d rather he not leave me behind for something important again.”

it’s quiet for a moment as the two nod, before luther claps his hands together. “alright, then. we’ll see you when you get back.”

you play with your fingers as they walk away and one of the car leaves- vanya had gotten in, so you assume it was her ‘farm frau’ as klaus had called her. the rest of the siblings quickly disappeared to... wherever they were going, and you were left alone (aside from the car that awaited reginald’s exit).

after waiting for you don’t know how long- maybe about twenty minutes or so- you see the flash of blue that signals five’s arrival and you quickly jump up from the concrete.

“oh, finally.” you sigh, brushing off your pants as he does the same with his uniform jacket, “it was starting to get too cold. what did the old man say? does he know how to stop this thing?”

the frown on his face tells you otherwise, and he sighs softly. “he didn’t help with anything. just told me what i already know.”

you run your fingers through your hair, staying quiet for a moment. “so, what do we do now?” the question almost makes you sound weak, and you hate it. you were just tired of having to save the world from something that you don’t even know.

“now, we make a deal.” he tells you, and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion, watching as he glances to the ground. “the handler told me she would give us a briefcase in return for a favor.”

you feel your shoulders slump slightly at the mention of the woman. “i can’t believe this.” you shake your head with a sigh, but you’re already grabbing his hand so he can flash you to wherever she may be.

when he doesn’t do it, you look at him with a raised eyebrow. he looks surprised, for some reason. “you’re not going to ask what it is?” he asks, wondering why you just blindly agreed.

“i trust you.” you shrug, and you yourself also find it incredibly stupid. the deal could be a death trap that you didn’t know about, yet you’re ready just because he thinks it will help save everyone’s ass.

after a moment of quiet, he nods. “okay.” he blows out some air, and you feel his hand tighten around yours slightly. “you should know, though. she wants us to kill the board.”

that is what really gets you. “the board? how are we even supposed to do that?”

“she knows when and where they’re meeting.” he tells you, and you purse your lips.

“alright.” you take a deep breath, “let’s make this deal before i change my mind.”

he nods, and without another second, you’ve appeared in front of the door of a room that looks to be in a very fancy hotel. you keep hold of his hand, not able to deny the nervousness that washes over you at this task. but you could do it. you were one of the best assassins, so what’s killing a few more people?

after five knocks on the doors a few times, they open to show a smiling handler. “ah!” she exclaims, and you can tell she had been waiting on the two of you. “just in time for a nightcap.”

she walks away from the door and you finally release his hand when you step in and close the doors behind you. “to be clear.” five speaks as the handler holds a cocktail out to him, “we take out the board... you get us all home. no doomsday, no apocalypse.”

as he speaks she had moved to the bed, laying on top of the covers on her side as she takes a drag from her cigarette. holding a paper up in the air. “that’s the deal.”

“we’re in.” you tell her before you can think any further, just knowing that this was a way to get home, the only way you knew of at the moment. if you didn’t take this, who knows if you would be able to stop this. the first time around you didn’t even stop the apocalypse, only escaped it.

when she waved the paper, you stepped forward and took it, unfolding the invitation. five looks over your shoulder. there’s a seal of a bird at the top, and you quickly skim over the words.

the lonely lodger inn

oshkosh wisconsin, 1982

taglists

main: @horrorklaus @megasimpleplan4ever

tua: @rasberrymay @noodlextrash @atomicpillar @malfovs @andreasworlsboring101​

five taglist: @anapocalypseinmymind @five-hargreeves-official @insatiable-ivy @coffee-e-addict @xplrreylo @fandomfreakff @colie-babi @flowertoty

let’s save the world: @aspiringwriter1 @thetrashypanda423 @lilacs-lavender @wow-lookit-all-the-fandoms @ohmyitsfaith @xplrreylo @fandomfreakff @onedollarduck @sleepygal124 @faith-quake @stripedchickens @youcandalekmyballs @pettyjayy @libidinexx @bts-chub @theoriginalkat @flowertoty @whenyouwantdeath @ot7purple @ purblerain @megasimpleplan4ever @whenyouregrungeaff @dumdumsun @malfovs @hxney-lemcn @frnks-stuff

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #five hargreeves #five #number five #the umbrella academy x reader #umbrella academy x reader #tua x reader #five hargreeves x reader #number five x reader #five x reader #lstw #let's save the world

[stayextrafrosty]

I'm Dying for a Taste of You: Chapter 7

Chapter Title: Love, Sex, Death

Chapter Summary: important discussions of feelings and about where Michael was. There's a new plan to take down Caber.

A/N: This is finally coming to a head! The end is near... There's a new playlist for this story featuring all the music I used to pick chapter titles and songs that fit the mood of the story.

Warnings: heavy blood drinking, mild self injury

Read on AO3 / Masterlist / Playlist

-

Michael froze in his movements, blinking at Alex as though he never expected for a moment that was something he would say. Alex rubbed his thumb over the stubble on his jaw. He refused to look away from his eyes. He didn’t care what Michael’s response was. As long as he never left him again.

Then Michael was closing the distance between them, pressing his lips to Alex’s. His heart soared as he melted against him. Michael’s fingers dug into the muscles in his back, holding him as close as possible. Alex nibbled on his bottom lip gently and felt him smile in return.

Every kiss was sweeter than the last until Michael pulled himself away with what seemed like some difficulty. He only succeeded in staying away for a few seconds before nuzzling his face into the crook of Alex’s neck.

“I’ll uncompel you I promise. Just let me have you all to myself for a bit.” Alex sighed and shook his head.

“No. I don’t want you to. I love you Michael,” he insisted again. A brief expression of pain crossed his features. Alex kissed him quickly. “I would love you even if you didn’t compel me.”

“Alex. You don’t have to—” He pushed him onto his back and sat on top of him, rocking his hips gently.

“I love you, Michael.” Alex leaned down, pressing gentle kisses to his face. He listened to him sigh softly as his hands found their way to his waist. Alex placed another kiss on his lips, mumbling, “I love you.” He trailed his hands down over his shoulders and arms. He took his hands from their spot, holding them down to the mattress. “I love you,” he said again as he began to kiss down his neck.

“Alex,” Michael breathed out, his cock twitching inside of him. He just hushed him as he moved from his neck to his chest, squeezing his hands and continuing the slow rolling of his hips. Alex repeated the words between every kiss, eventually working his way back up to Michael’s lips.

“I’m exactly where I want to be, understand? I’m all yours. Have been since we met.” A moment later, Michael was pushing him back and sitting up. Alex released his hands and wrapped his arms around his neck. Michael grabbed his waist and moved him faster, making him moan softly.

“I love you, Alex. I love you so much it scares me. I have never wanted anyone the way I want you. It’s not even a want, it’s a need.” Alex whimpered as their lips connected again. They continued their steady pace as Alex traced his tongue over Michael’s teeth, pressing just hard enough to draw blood.

“Fuck, Alex. You really want to be here all night don’t you?”

“You were the one who said to make up for lost time.” Michael just groaned in response and captured Alex’s lips again.

-

Michael did have him up the rest of the night. By the time the sun was peeking through the window, Alex still hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep. Every time he started to doze off, he would feel Michael’s mouth on his neck or shoulder, leaving fresh hickies that he would need to cover up somehow.

Alex did end up falling asleep around six in the morning but still woke up again by eleven. He was wrapped in Michael’s arms, and the rest of their limbs were tangled together. He pulled his eyes open to watch Michael sleep, his curls messy as they fanned out on the pillow.

He traced his fingers over the lines of his face and jaw, remembering the wounds he had shown up with at the door. There was no mistaking them for anything but bites from another vampire. Michael groaned softly and hugged Alex tighter. Slowly his eyes cracked open and Alex just smiled at him.

Michael loved him. Wanted to be with him. This beautiful man was all his. Michael leaned in, nuzzling into his neck while his hands wandered over Alex’s bare skin. His eyes fluttered shut again as one of Michael’s hands moved to massage the thigh above his missing leg.

“How did this happen?” he mumbled. Alex didn’t know how to respond for a second. Had they really never talked about it?

“I was out on an assignment. Took a vampires ‘meal’ practically from his mouth. He retaliated by breaking my leg and trying to get at me instead.” Alex flinched at the memory. “His teeth ripped tendons and muscle and it just wasn’t repairable.”

Michael’s lips were soft against his skin as he rolled to cover Alex with his whole body. His kisses trailed lower and lower as Alex ran a gentle hand through his hair. He nipped at his hip quickly before moving on. He placed kisses down his thigh to his knee. Alex’s heart fluttered at the sweetness.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could fix it now.”

Alex tugged him back up his body, wrapping his legs around his hips. He pulled their foreheads together, holding Michael’s face tenderly.

“I love you,” he said. Michael’s mouth twitched up into a smile before he closed the distance between them. Alex sighed in bliss, tasting Michael’s tongue as it swept past his lips and over his own.

As much as he wanted to continue like this for the next eternity, there were some questions he couldn’t put off any longer. He let himself get carried away yesterday. Allowed himself to be completely consumed by everything that was Michael.

He pushed him back gently, propping himself up on his elbows. Michael seemed confused for a moment but then he just nodded and turned away from Alex and rolled off of him. He stared at the ceiling and the way his muscles tensed made Alex want to forget about it. But he couldn’t.

“Where were you?” Alex asked softly, reaching over to trace patterns on his chest. Michael took a deep breath.

“Not far. Chasing down Caber. Went all the way to Albuquerque before I was able to trace him down. Whatever your cop buddies shot him with, it did serious damage.” Alex’s nose twitched in annoyance. He was less than five hours away and he couldn’t just ask Alex for help?

“I hate that you went after him by yourself. You didn’t even tell Max and Isobel where you were,” he scolded gently, controlling his urge to yell.

“They knew. I told them not to tell you.”

The silence could have cut through steel. Alex had no response for him. He wanted to scream. Maybe cry. Curse him for days. Isobel and Max had known and they did nothing to help him. They saw him suffering and they did nothing.

“Please don’t blame them Alex. I begged them to keep you out of it.” Alex could barely contain the way his voice shook with anger.

“I don’t blame them… I was in pain Michael. Absolute agony. You left me with nothing. No information about how I was supposed to survive without you!” He ended up snapping toward the end. Alex shoved himself into a sitting position and ran a hand through his hair. The weight shifted next to him and the rough skin of Michael’s hand ran over his back.

“I know. I didn’t think—”

“Damn right you didn’t think! How could you ever think I would be better without you? You knew that I would suffer and you did it anyway.” He felt Michael’s lips press to his back and shoulders. “You were cruel.”

“I’m so sorry Alex.”

“Was it Caber that gave you those wounds?”

“No. A group of vampires controlled by an elder were after me.” Alex turned toward him, eyebrows drawn together.

“What do you mean?”

“At any one time there’s a handful of vampires that are the oldest. That group of four or five is granted special abilities. One being the ability to compel other vampires. All I know it that Alayna is the oldest. I haven’t met the others in my time alive.”

“So Alayna is sending hordes of vampires after you to what? Kill you?”

“I mean we don’t know if it’s Alayna for sure. The others could be anywhere. Maybe I insulted one without knowing it.” Alex gave a humorless laugh and shook his head. If the way Alayna acted was any indication, the elders were cruel and full of themselves. Wanting everyone to know exactly who they were. Vampire hierarchy didn’t tolerate disrespect. Alex knew that first hand.

“It’s nothing to worry about, ok? I took care of them. They seemed like they were new.” He ‘took care of them?’

“You killed all of them,” Alex mumbled out, almost in shock. New vampires that were turned for the sole purpose of hunting. Nausea settled in his stomach. Michael wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pulling him against his chest and leaving a trail of light kisses on his neck.

“It was me or them Alex. They weren’t going to stop.” Alex let himself relax back against him. His eyes fluttered closed as he enjoyed the sweet attentions Michael was giving him.

He had always been surrounded by death, such is the nature of hunting vampires for a living. Being with Michael had just brought it to the front of his mind.

Michael’s hands drifted lower, scratching over his chest and abdomen. His tongue licked at the skin on the back of his neck before kissing and biting into the spot with blunt teeth. Alex sighed as he sucked another mark into his skin.

He let this continue longer than it should have. Michael’s hands were teasing on his waist and inching toward his thighs. Alex could feel the way Michael’s thighs squeezed together around him and the hardness growing against his back. Alex’s fingers twitched. He wanted to run them through his hair and hold his mouth against his neck.

“Is this your attempt at distracting me?” Alex mumbled.

“Only if it’s working,” he replied, nipping at his skin. He tried not to laugh but a small chuckle escaped anyway.

“One more question. For now at least.” Michael’s arms immediately moved to wrap around his waist, stopping his teasing. Alex weighed his words carefully, though there really wasn’t a different way to ask his question.

“Why now? Why come back now?”

Michael was quiet for a long time. Alex only felt his heartbeat against his back.

“I needed you. More than I ever thought.” He paused, squeezing Alex against him. “I was going crazy when I left you behind. I made it a couple weeks without feeding from a real person.” Alex’s jealousy spiked. He had fed from someone else. He tried to pull away but Michael held him close, wrapping his arms around him tighter.

“Don’t misunderstand. The blood bags weren’t working as well as they used to. I was hungry all the time. I wasn’t at full strength and if I wanted to take down Caber, I needed to be. So I went to a blood ball to feed, thinking having you around made me spoiled.”

Alex stared at a spot on his bed, fighting off the jealousy that threatened to make him explode in anger. He understood Michael’s position. He knew that if he didn’t feed, he would be weak. Alex forced himself to stay quiet.

“It was then I realized that it wasn’t enough. It didn’t matter whether it was in a bag or fresh. It wasn’t you. My body depends on you. Drinking from a bag or from someone else kept me alive. You keep me strong.”

“Why didn’t you come back then?” Alex asked quietly.

“Because I couldn’t. I couldn’t come back to you without getting rid of the reason I left in the first place. I couldn’t fail you like that.” Alex just shook his head.

“I wouldn’t have thought that.”

“Maybe. But I needed to protect you. And if Caber were to overpower me while you’re nearby? I could drive myself into bloodlust just from imagining it.” Alex let his shoulders relax. “You’re my person Alex. And I can’t let anyone else have you. For any reason.”

“None of that really answers my question you know,” he pointed out. As much as his heart was pounding after his confessions, he needed more information. He felt Michael nod.

“I started getting attacked by the newborns after about two months of tracking Caber. It started as small groups that seemed more like vampires that were high on the new power, not realizing I was stronger than them.

“But they just kept coming. More frequently and in larger groups. I found Caber about two weeks ago. He was building his strength again, leaving a trail of bodies behind him. I tried to kill him but he ran. It might have been my only chance to fight him as an equal and I let him get away. I assumed he came back here to finish his ritual so I came back. I’ve been watching you from a distance for a few days. You seemed like you were happy and I couldn’t just crash back into your life.”

“And yet?”

“A group ambushed me. One tried to inherit you from me, which is why I had all those bites on my neck.” Alex spun toward him as much as he could. The question didn’t have time to leave his lips. “It’s a process where if a vampire drains another and then poisons their heart with their venom, they can take the vampires power and anyone they have claimed. It’s not easy, and not something a new vamp would know about. So he was told about the process by someone much older and compelled to attempt it.”

“Why are you assuming he was compelled?”

“Because the power difference should have been obvious to him. He wouldn’t have dared to even try if he was sane. The only reason he got his teeth in me at all is because I was outnumbered and weak.”

Michael unwound an arm from his waist. Lifting his hand to brush the hair off Alex’s forehead, his eyes searched his face, looking for any unasked questions. His fingers trailed down Alex’s face to his neck and to the mark. Alex tilted his head to the side as his eyes fluttered closed. He heard Michael suck in a sharp breath before his lips were pressed to his throat, kissing gently.

“Why did you fall off my roof when you had already knocked on the door?” Michael’s arms tightened around him.

“Because I had a moment of clarity where I was going to run. I saw the way you reacted to me. The way your mark hurt you when it sensed I was near. I don’t want to hurt you. But I had lost too much blood and I lost consciousness. The next thing I remember is you kneeling in front of me, pulling me closer. And I just couldn’t control myself anymore.”

Alex traced his fingers over the arms wrapped around him. Control. Everything about vampires was about control. And he wanted nothing more than to push him far enough so he lost it. If Alex wasn’t human… maybe he would stop holding himself back.

“I’m still the most dangerous person for you to be around. If I lose control again…” Michael mumbled against his skin. Alex stopped his voice by pulling him closer. A hand threading through his hair and holding his mouth against his throat.

“You won’t. And even if you did, it’s you. So I wouldn’t mind.” Michael groaned and suddenly Alex found himself on his back again. Michael hovered over him, lips just brushing against his. His wrists were pinned on the bed next to his head.

“You are just asking to be devoured Alex Manes.” Alex grinned at the threat.

“Promise?”

-

His back was killing him the next day. Alex knew he should have taken Michael up on a bath and massage but that also came with the risk of making it even worse. Michael had kept him in bed all day apart from the necessary food and shower breaks. Though the shower hadn’t been much of a break either. So instead he sat at his work desk, trying not to bend his back. He flinched as he turned to face his computer.

“Afterglow is one thing, but maybe you should tell whatever partner you have to take it easy on you,” Kyle commented, leaning against his desk. Alex glanced up from his screen to roll his eyes at him.

“And I thought you left for Roswell already.” Kyle had showed up in his driveway this morning as he was getting into his car. He had said there was something important that he needed to take care of before leaving. Not that he didn’t appreciate the company but hiding the fact that Michael was back was much more difficult when he was actually around.

“Chief has a lead on Caber.” His fingers froze over the keys.

“Why are you telling me?” his voice steady but suspicious.

“Because he wants you to be a part of the plan to take him down.” Alex should have been elated. He had wanted nothing except to get back out in the field for months now. If only as a distraction. Now it was different. Michael was back and Caber could be stronger than ever.

Caber (as far as Michael knew) wasn’t an elder but that didn’t change the fact that he had connections to them. Alex couldn’t shake the feeling that this was all connected to Alayna. But why would she want to hurt Michael? From what Alex could tell, she actually liked him. Then again maybe she didn’t like anyone.

“When’s the briefing?”

“Right now.” Alex shot up from his seat. Probably too fast as a sharp pain ran up his spine. Alex did his best not to flinch but Kyle chuckled at him. “Should we put you on medical leave now?”

“Fuck off,” he scolded as a smile settled on his face.

Michael hadn’t gone easy on him. But Alex had kind of egged him on more than was probably necessary. He remembered the way Michael’s hand gripped his hair, pressing his head into the mattress. The overstimulation had been too much after a while but Alex had just wanted him more.

-

“I think you’ve lost your touch Michael,” Alex taunted. Michael’s eyes glowed red. “I’m not begging yet.” Michael gave an evil laugh as he tightened the rope around Alex’s wrists. He yanked him down by his ankle so Alex was completely stretched out.

There was no warning when he wrapped his mouth around his cock. He had already cum at least four times since waking up and he wasn’t sure how many more he had in him. Alex moaned anyway, attempting to thrust himself deeper into his mouth. Michael held his hips still as he pulled on the ropes around his wrists.

“Lost my touch you say?” Michael teased back as he dragged the tip of his tongue over the underside of his cock up to the head before sucking him in again. His whole body shook and he bit his lip to keep his moans in.

Michael pulled his legs apart and pushed them up, exposing his hole that still dripped with cum and lube. He couldn’t hold back as Michael’s tongue started tracing the rim. Alex’s back arched as much as Michael would allow. He tasted blood from his lip as he groaned and pulled on the ropes. Michael’s fingers gripped his thighs as his tongue slipped inside his ass.

Alex tried to grind himself onto his face but being bent in half kind of inhibited that. Instead Michael tortured him, slipping his tongue in and out of his hole but never enough to be satisfying.

“You know to make it stop,” Michael taunted, nipping at the sensitive skin of his thighs. Alex took a shaky breath and smirked down at him.

“I won’t beg. You’ll eventually give me what I want anyway.”

It was then he was flipped onto his stomach, arms twisting as Michael yanked his waist up and spread his cheeks. Alex tried to push himself onto his elbows at the least, but Michael was gripping his hair, forcing his face into the mattress.

“I think you’re forgetting exactly who you’re dealing with.”

-

“Manes! Let’s go,” Kyle called, waving a hand in front of his face. Alex shook his head and felt the blush creeping onto his cheeks. Damn him for being his every waking thought.

Alex followed Kyle to the meeting room where a small group of officers sat around a glass table. Some drank coffee and others fiddled on phones. But they all looked up when he walked into the room.

Dan stood in front of a blank white board they used for mapping out theories and clues. His arms were crossed as he tapped his fingers against his skin. Alex ignored the stares as he stood in front of his boss.

“Welcome back to the field, Manes. I would have kept you on desk duty longer but we need information that Kyle believes only you have.” Alex didn’t know if his annoyance showed on his face but he felt his eyebrow twitch.

“I’ve told you before, Sir. I’m perfectly fine to go into the field. Have been for months.” He just nodded in response and picked up a file, handing it to Alex.

“What information do you have on Caber? Why is he obsessed with sacrifices? And why did he come after you?”

“Why would I know why he’s doing sacrifices? I know about as much as you do maybe less because you haven’t kept me in the loop. And the only reason he came after me was because I got in the way of a sacrifice.”

“There’s got to be something else. What about the Vampire that claimed you?” Alex raised an eyebrow.

“What does Michael have to do with this?”

“Is he back?” Alex hesitated to answer, worried that they were looking into him as a suspect again.

“No. I haven’t seen or heard from him in months.” Dan looked Alex up and down and then nodded.

“We had reports of a group of vampires roaming the streets only to find all of them dead in a ditch. We all know that vampires are very protective of their claimed and I thought maybe he was trying to protect you.” Alex still wasn’t seeing the logic. He should have no reason to connect Michael to the case.

“I’m not following sir.”

“Caber tried to use you as a sacrifice right? Your vampire got in the way of that. As revenge he must have sent a group to find you.”

“With all due respect sir, I thought we were going to fill Alex in on the plan to take Caber down,” Kyle interjected, sounding just as confused by this line of questions as Alex felt. Dan cleared his throat and nodded.

“Yes, my apologies. In short, Alex, we want you to be the bait. Whatever reason it may be, revenge or fascination or otherwise, Caber wants you. Sorry for the interrogation, I just don’t want to go in blind or risk your vampire swooping in to protect you and ruining the whole operation.”

Michael would not be okay with this plan. Being that it was practically the same one that they tried five months ago and that one didn’t pan out right either. The difference was that they would be prepared this time. With enough back up and anti-vampire weapons to make sure they put an end to him.

“What do you need from me?” Dan gave a small, proud grin and pointed to the folder in Alex’s hand.

“A detailed action plan is laid out in there. We plan to move tomorrow. We have reason to believe that he will be performing the final sacrifice.” Alex flipped through the pages, skimming them before looking back up at Dan.

“How do you know it’s the final one?”

“It happens to be in the center of all the other sacrifices. I could be wrong of course. But better to treat it like it’s our last chance than to drag this out any longer.” Alex stopped on the page with the list of known sacrifice locations. A detail jumping out at him that he hadn’t noticed before.

“And you’re positive that these last five were sacrifices set up by Caber?” Dan raised an eyebrow.

“Almost certain. They match the pattern. Why?”

Something Michael had mentioned. He said he chased Caber all the way to Albuquerque months ago and only recently had he come back. Caber wasn’t even in town when these were performed. Alex gripped the folder.

Caber wasn’t the only one making sacrifices.

“Do we think he had help? He was critically injured from our last encounter wasn’t he?” Alex asked, still trying to keep Michael a secret.

“He’s a vampire. He must have fed shortly after and healed himself quickly. If you have another lead I’m all ears.” Alex’s eyebrows drew together. He wanted to say that Alayna might be behind it, but he couldn’t imagine her getting her hands dirty for something like that. She turned a group of vampires just to hunt down Michael. She wouldn’t perform sacrifices herself.

“No. Just a thought.”

-

“Absolutely fucking not!” Alex had expected this reaction. Michael stood from the couch in a huff, running a hand through his hair. “How can you think even for a second that I would stay out of it?”

“Because I’m asking you to,” Alex said firmly. Michael scoffed and shook his head. “It’s different this time. We’ll have weapons and adequate backup.”

“It’s no different! You’re going to end up dead and I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life. I can’t let you go in alone.” Alex stood slowly, inching toward Michael as though he were a wild animal that would run away.

“I’m worried about you Michael. If they find out you’re back, you might become a suspect again.” Alex took his hand gently, threading their fingers together. “My boss already suspects that you’re the one who killed that roaming group of vampires. I told him I hadn’t heard from you.”

Michael cursed under his breath and pulled away from Alex, pacing through the living room. His heart ached watching him. He appreciated the concern but this needed to end. He wasn’t thrilled about being the bait either but Caber did seem to have it out for him. Even if it was just to get back at Michael.

“Come on baby,” Alex tried. “Trust me. I won’t underestimate him this time.”

Michael just shook his head and crossed the room to stand in front of Alex again. He took his face in his hands, running his thumb gently over his cheeks. He rested his head against Alex’s and took a deep breath.

“I can’t lose you, Alex,” he mumbled. Alex covered his hands with his own and closed the distance between them. Michael kissed him back sweetly, chasing his lips as he pulled away after a few moments.

“You won’t lose me. And I don’t want to lose you either. So please stay away from the operation.” Michael kissed him again without answering, encouraging his lips to part as he swept his tongue over them.

Alex allowed himself to be distracted, opening up for Michael and running his hands down his arms to his waist, pulling him closer. Michael took full advantage of his willingness to comply. He pushed Alex back until he hit the wall, hands shifting to grab at the short hair at the back of his head. Alex’s hands slipped under the t-shirt, gripping his waist. It was when Michael nibbled on his lip that an idea came to him.

“Turn me,” Alex breathed out as Michael ran his lips down to his throat.

Michael went ridged. He pulled himself away from Alex almost violently, as though he had been shocked. His eyes were wide as he watched Alex. Red creeped in at the edges.

“No, Alex.” Alex clenched his fists and stepped toward Michael.

“You’re so worried about my safety then why not just turn me and reduce the risk?”

“Alex, I told you not to say that to me.” His voice shook as he backed up. He turned his face away, hiding his eyes. Alex remembered his warning from when they first met. Now he was betting on the temptation working in his favor.

“Why? I love you Michael. You love me.”

“It’s because I love you. I can’t subject you to a life like this.” Michael’s back hit the opposite wall as Alex continued to walk toward him slowly. He just hoped Michael wouldn’t run from him again. But based on his inability to go anywhere except backwards, he figured he was too distracted by Alex’s offer.

“So first it was because you didn’t love me and now it’s because you do?” Michael covered his mouth but not before Alex saw his fangs poking out from his lips. He groaned as Alex continued to move closer.

“I have never not loved you Alex.” His heart pounded as he stopped an arm’s length away from him. “As soon as I saw you, I knew I was fucked. Then you let me taste you… Let me claim you. It was the first time I didn’t curse my existence; didn’t hate what I was. Because I knew I found my perfect match.”

“Built from the same star some would say,” Alex mumbled, having read it in a book a long time ago.

Michael finally met his eyes again. His glowed red as Alex closed the last of the distance between them, grabbing his wrist and moving it from in front of his face.

“I told you not to hide from me.” Alex lifted his wrist to his mouth, kissing the pulse point before nipping gently. “Turn me Michael. I want to be with you forever.”

Michael slid down the wall to his knees, his arm slipping from Alex’s grip. He took Alex’s hand instead, pressing kisses to the back of it and eventually turning it to kiss his palm and fingers. Michael looked up at Alex, tears threatening to fall.

“I don’t deserve you,” he mumbled. Alex fell to his knees in front of him, crushing their mouths together, determined to prove to Michael that this was real. That he wanted this. Wanted him.

They grabbed at each other, Michael literally tearing the shirt from his body. His nails dragged roughly over Alex’s skin, making him flinch and gasp. Michael tossed the scraps to the side as his tongue darted between his lips. Alex wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him away from the wall and eventually laying him on the ground.

He straddled his thighs as his fingers fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. Michael’s hands moved to his waist, pulling their hips together and rocking him gently. Alex groaned against his lips before gasping in a breath. He finally pulled the last button free and shoved the shirt off Michael’s shoulders. He sat up briefly to shrug the clothing all the way off before Alex was pinning him to the floor again.

Alex only held Michael’s arms in place for a moment before dragging his hands down to his jeans, yanking the belt open then the button. Michael sighed and ran his hands up Alex’s back, fingers digging into the muscles.

Alex leaned down, pressing open-mouthed kisses to Michael’s collarbone as he slipped his fingers into the waistband of his underwear. Michael grabbed his head, holding him against his skin. Alex wrapped his hand around his half hard cock, stroking it slowly. A low groan fell from his lips as his hips rocked up into his fist.

Alex moved his free hand next to Michael’s head, holding himself up as he moved his kisses up his throat. His own jeans were far too tight at this point but he wanted to focus on Michael and convincing him that this was what was supposed to happen. Living an eternity together.

“Turn me,” he breathed over his pulse point.

“Alex…” Michael moaned as his hand squeezed his cock, bringing it to full attention. “This isn’t fair.”

Alex sank his teeth into his skin. Michael’s whole body arched against him. His nails scratched his scalp, calling out his name again. He sucked on the spot, making sure to leave a dark mark just like Michael had done to him the night before. He pulled away to rest their foreheads together, so they felt the breath of each other. Michael panted and tried to kiss him again but Alex pulled himself back.

“I can handle it Michael. We belong together. Turn me.”

“Damnit Alex.”

Suddenly Alex was the one on his back. Michael hovered above him, holding Alex’s hand on his cock that was mostly out of his underwear. With his free hand, he pushed the fabric down his legs, kicking it to the side when he finally got it to his ankles. Completely naked and Alex still had to keep himself from drooling at the sight.

“You never get tired of pushing me into bloodlust do you?” His eyes glowed as he allowed the movement of Alex’s hand again. He unzipped Alex’s jeans and pulled them down but only enough that his cock was free of the fabric.

The air made Alex gasp and the cool touch of Michael’s hand didn’t help. They stroked each other, Michael inching closer so they could rub against the other. Alex cursed under his breath as his eyes fluttered closed.

He only heard the sounds of their panting and small whines. Eventually Michael’s lips found his, swallowing the groan that slipped out when he started rubbing his thumb over the tip. He spread the pre-cum over the head and down the sides. Michael pushed Alex’s hand away, instead holding them together and jerking them both off. The wetness leaking from the tips eased the friction.

Alex reached around Michael’s waist, dragging his nails over his back. Michael’s eyes glowed as he leaned over him, his breath brushing over his lips. Alex pushed himself up on his elbows, pressing their mouths together. Their hips rocked together, steadily increasing the pace.

“I need more,” Alex mumbled out, clenching his hands into fists.

“More of what?” Michael taunted back, breathless.

“Of you. I need all of you.” He felt Michael’s grin against his lips. He pulled away, releasing his cock and grabbing the waistband of Alex’s jeans instead. He yanked them down to his knees and Alex scrambled to turn onto his stomach.

He pressed his face into the wood, ignoring the discomfort that came with it. He reached behind him, spreading himself open for Michael’s hungry stare. He reached out and teased a finger over Alex’s hole before running his hand over his ass and thighs.

“Fuck me Michael. Use me. And don’t hold back,” Alex pleaded. A low groan escaped Michael’s lips as he leaned forward, pressing his tongue against his ass. Alex pushed himself back against his face with a whine. Michael traced the rim, pushing the tip just past the entrance, letting his saliva coat the opening. Alex tried pushing himself back again but Michael was pulling away.

“I oughta get a gag for that pretty mouth. You have this tendency to rush me,” he said, trailing kisses up his spine. Alex’s cock jumped at the suggestion. “You want me to stop holding back? Is that why you want me to turn you?”

He pressed his leaking cock against his hole. Alex didn’t dare respond to the question. Just bit his lip and tried to push back onto him. Michael kept himself settled right at his entrance.

“You want me to turn you so I can ruin you? So I can fuck you for days and never have enough? So you can get high on my blood and venom?” He pushed the head in slightly. Alex could only moan in response.

A loud banging on the front door had both of them jumping. Alex’s eyes darted to the locked entrance and then to his torn shirt on the floor. He felt his face heat up as he tried to crawl away from where Michael was still pressed against him. The pain from the pressure on his knee became noticeable as sense re-entered his brain. Michael grabbed his hips before he could move too far, pressing the head of his cock just past the rim of his ass

“Ignore it,” he growled. And god Alex wanted to. Michael teased him with his cock, just barely pushing in before pulling back out. Alex’s legs shook and his cock was harder than ever. But just as he closed his eyes to let Michael take control again, the knock returned, more insistent.

“Michael, I have to answer it.” Another three knocks and a muffled voice.

“Alex, open up.” Kyle’s voice brought him back into the real world, pulling away from Michael no matter how much his body screamed for him to do the opposite.

Alex scrambled to his feet, pulling his pants up as he went. He looked back at where Michael sat on the floor, seeming unconcerned with the fact he was naked and more annoyed that they had been interrupted. He looked Alex up and down, tracing his tongue over his fangs. Alex twitched in his jeans and tore his eyes away from him. He didn’t trust his body to resist him when he looked like that.

“Go upstairs and hide. I’ll see what he wants.”

“You’re going to answer the door like that?” Alex heard the jealousy laced through his voice.

“You ripped my shirt. And it’s just Kyle. Now go upstairs.”

He heard the shuffling of his body and then his hardness was pressed against his lower back. Michael licked a teasing trail up his neck and nipped his ear. Alex barely let out a sigh before Kyle’s knocking became panicked.

“Come on Manes this isn’t funny! I will break down this door.”

“Don’t make me wait too long,” Michael whispered next to his ear. Then he vanished.

Alex chanced a look behind him and he was nowhere to be seen. His clothes and the scraps from Alex’s torn shirt were gone. Alex shook his head and rushed to the door, unlocking and pulling it open.

“Breaking the door is not necessary,” he said as his eyes met Kyle’s.

“Damn dude. You’re seriously going to give me a heart attack one of these days.” Alex stepped to the side to let him into the front room. He watched his eyes as they ran over everything, making sure nothing was out of place.

“What are you looking for exactly?” Alex asked when he started pacing the room. Kyle stopped and took one more glace around. His shoulders seemed to relax as he slipped his hands into his pockets.

“Nothing. Just worried about why it took you so long to answer the door.” Alex looked away to hide the blush.

“Well I was going to get in the shower when you started threatening to break down my door. I don’t exactly move very fast when I don’t have my prosthesis.” Kyle looked him up and down and a grin settled on his face.

“Right… can you tell whatever bed buddy is here that we have some things to discuss and to come back later? Not that I don’t appreciate the view Manes, but you never answer the front door with unbuttoned jeans and fresh scratch marks.”

Alex looked down at himself for the first time. Kyle was right. His jeans were unbuttoned and his arousal was still plainly obvious. Light pink lines were forming on his waist and hips where Michael had grabbed him. Alex sighed and ran a hand through his hair, which he now realized was probably messed up too.

“Look,” Kyle started, lowering his voice. “It’s not my business who you sleep with or how often. But if you’re using this as a way to replace Michael, I promise it’s not going to work. Find someone who cares about you.” Alex was touched by the concern. He smiled and nodded at Kyle.

“Who, like you? Change your mind about being straight, Valenti?” he teased. Kyle snorted.

“Dude, the way you look right now, I might have to bend just to put you out of your misery. You seriously look wrecked.” Alex only had time to roll his eyes before a low growl reached his ears and arms wrapped around his waist.

Michael yanked him back, away from Kyle who’s eyes were blown wide as he recognized him. Alex squirmed in Michael’s arms, trying to see exactly what Kyle was seeing.

“I suggest you stay there or you can kiss your chances of ever having children goodbye,” Michael threatened lowly. Alex watched the way Kyle clenched his fists to stop himself from trembling. Michael held him tighter, slowly pulling him backwards.

“Michael stop. What’s going on,” Alex tried asking. Kyle’s hand inched toward the gun at his hip. He struggled in Michael’s arms again finally succeeding in turning around.

His eyes glowed in a different way than before. His pupils slit and the red bright instead of muted. Anger rolled off him in waves. His fingers dug into Alex’s skin as he hyper focused on Kyle. His teeth we on full display, longer than Alex had ever seen them. Low growls slipped from his mouth.

Alex grabbed his face, forcing his attention to shift. He pressed their foreheads together, making soft hushing noises.

“Hey, everything is fine. I’m fine. He wouldn’t hurt me.” Michael’s eyes darted back and forth, trying to see around Alex. He held him steady, brushing his lips against his.

“He said wanted you…” Michael mumbled out. Alex sighed and pressed his mouth to Michael’s briefly.

“No baby. It was a joke. I’m yours, ok? I’m all yours,” he whispered comfortingly. Michael tried to pull away but he held him steady. “All yours. I’m yours and you are mine. I don’t want anyone else.”

Michael’s grip on his skin loosened slowly. He slowed his breathing to match Alex’s as his eyes dimmed back to their normal shade of brown. Michael closed the distance between them, kissing him firmly and teasing his tongue over his lips.

Alex didn’t know how long they had been standing there, but the sound of Kyle clearing his throat suggested longer than he should have allowed.

“Well this explains some things,” Kyle said, trying to sound nonchalant. Alex turned back toward him, holding onto Michael’s hand.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything,” he offered.

“Why? I get it. The chief wasn’t exactly subtle about considering Michael a person of interest again.” His eyes shifted from Alex to the man standing behind him. His eyebrows narrowed as he crossed his arms. “But I won’t pretend to not be pissed at the guy who quite literally ruined your life for five months.”

“Stay out of it Valenti,” Michael snapped.

“Screw you! You weren’t here! You didn’t have to see the way he was falling apart. Literally. He could hardly get out of bed most days. You didn’t have to see the physical pain you put him through. So no. I’m not going to stay out of it. And let me be clear that if you ever do something like that to him again, I’ll kill you myself.”

Alex felt Michael grip his hand but he didn’t respond. He squeezed his hand back briefly and rubbed his thumb over the skin. They would have to talk about this more later.

“Just keep this between us ok? I don’t want the chief knowing he’s here.”

“Because you’re worried he’ll be targeted as an accomplice,” he stated matter-of-factly. Alex nodded. “The chief thinks Caber has help. And when you brought it up in the meeting… it was obvious you had outside information from somewhere.” Alex cursed under his breath.

“Caber wasn’t even in the area when the sacrifices were performed. Someone was acting in his place.” Kyle nodded.

“But without any leads you can’t exactly bring it up.”

“Exactly.”

Kyle started to pace, running a hand over his jaw. Alex looked back at Michael, trying to gauge his reaction to all of this. His face was emotionless as he watched the other man. He glanced down at Alex. His face didn’t change but he squeezed his hand.

“Chief claims he doesn’t have any leads either but I think he might be considering Michael.”

“But why?” Alex demanded.

“I wish I knew. All those questions about him today… He’s definitely considering him for something.” Kyle stopped pacing and looked at Michael again. “Which is why you need to stay far away from the mission tomorrow.”

“You don’t get to just waltz in here and tell me how to protect my claimed,” Michael growled, stepping in front of Alex. Kyle rolled his eyes.

“I’m not. But you showing up tomorrow would ruin the whole plan. And I don’t need you being taken in by police and throwing Alex into another spiral.” Michael took a threatening step toward him, a low growl just barely audible.

“Oh knock it off, both of you,” Alex snapped, yanking Michael back. He sighed as he looked between them. “Look, Kyle it won’t be a problem. Michael won’t be there to mess it up.”

“When the hell did I agree—”

“Michael, we will talk about this later,” Alex cut him off. He glared at Michael, daring him to argue.

“Alex, I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were walking into. There’s a very real chance you could get seriously hurt.” Alex smiled at him and stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“This is my job Kyle. Just like it’s yours. I know the risks and if it’s to protect people then I wouldn’t choose anything different.”

“… Did you read the operation plan yet?” Kyle asked hesitantly. Alex glanced to where the manila folder sat on an end table. He had flipped through a few pages but hadn’t looked in depth.

He moved to grab the file but Michael was there faster, practically ripping the paper trying to open it. His eyes scanned the pages and Alex watched as they flashed red. He took a deep breath before shutting the file and shoving it into Alex’s chest. He stormed upstairs as Alex watched his back.

“You’re bait Manes. You knew that. What the Chief didn’t tell you, was that you would be alone. That he’s going to let Caber begin the sacrifice with you and while Caber is high on your blood, then we would move in and attack.”

“Why is he so certain that Caber will drink my blood at all?”

“He’s not. But if our theory is correct in assuming he wants revenge, he’ll most likely revel in it. Be too distracted with theatrics to pay attention to us.”

“Vampires are stronger after they feed. Caber could wipe out the whole team.”

“Which is why you’re going to drink a poison our lab created. Remember that girl you saved? Liz? She’s working with us now. Turns out she’s a biomedical engineer. The poison won’t harm you but any vampire that drinks your blood will, in theory, enter a state of paralysis.”

Alex glanced over the papers in his hand and swallowed. They crinkled in his hand as he gripped them tighter with every word he read. He looked back up at Kyle.

“So I ask again. Are you sure you want to do this?”

-

Alex stared at his own closed door. He knew why Michael was pissed. He wasn’t exactly thrilled about the situation himself. He always had the bad habit of jumping into things without thinking them through first. He laughed at himself. That was exactly what got him into this situation in the first place. But then again, if he wasn’t like that… he wouldn’t have Michael.

He grabbed the doorknob and pushed it open. He looked around the room and found Michael standing and staring out the window. The sun was setting but still shown directly into the window. Michael was gripping the window sill and his skin was red, as though he was burning.

Alex blinked before he realized what was happening. He jumped toward the vampire, pulling him away from the window and yanking the blinds shut.

“Michael! What the hell are you thinking?” Alex grabbed his shoulders, looking over his bare chest and arms as the red started to fade as his body healed itself.

“I needed something to control myself,” Michael mumbled. Alex’s eyebrows drew together as he shook his head.

“You don’t need to hurt yourself!”

“I did.” Alex ran his hands up to rest on his face, holding him gently. “I wish I could properly convey the anger I feel when you have complete disregard for your own life.”

“It’s to help people.”

“Why are they more deserving of life than you?” Michael snapped. Alex flinched back as Michael’s gaze pierced through him. He watched as tears pooled in his eyes and his jaw clenched to keep them from falling. “I can’t lose you. Not to something as stupid as trying to stop a piece of shit like Caber.”

The tears spilled over and Alex wiped them away as they fell. Michael’s hands found their way to his waist and pulled him closer. Alex pressed his forehead to his. They stood for a while, breathing each other in. Their lips occasionally bushed together but neither pushed for more.

“You won’t lose me. I promise.”

“You can’t promise that. Not with a plan that puts you at the mercy of a revenge hungry vampire.”

Alex wouldn’t deny being nervous. Things could so easily go wrong but what other choice did he have? He couldn’t back out when lives were at stake. And if Caber was gone, that would be one less threat to Michael.

“Michael. Please just trust me.”

“Alex—”

He kissed him then, stopping any further protesting. Mouths slipping over each other. Hands wandering over his bare skin. Alex pushed him back slowly, nipping at his lip and tangling his fingers in the untamed curls.

Michael’s fingers dug into his skin as he sighed. He pulled Alex on top of him as he stumbled back onto the bed. Alex sat on his lap, trapping his head between his arms as he held himself up. Michael’s hands ran up his back, grabbing at his skin and kneading his muscles.

Alex rocked his hips against his at a steady pace. Their lips separated as they both sighed from the friction, foreheads pressed together. Rain wrapped around Alex as he breathed Michael in. He wanted to smell more of him. Alex dragged his lips over his jaw, occasionally nipping at the skin. He pressed open mouthed kisses to his throat, tongue teasing at the pulse point. Michael’s head rolled to the side to give him better access.

He couldn’t help but moan at the way the simple action drove him crazy. And maybe he was finally understanding why Michael couldn’t resist him when he did it. His most vulnerable spot, all for Alex’s taking. He could kill him and yet all he wanted was to press his lips to the skin and mark him as his own.

So he bit into the skin gently, taking Michael’s hands from his back and pressed them into the mattress. Their fingers entwined as Alex refocused on his attentions on the mark he had left earlier. Michael pressed his body up against him, a small whine sneaking out from his lips.

“Hey,” Michael mumbled out. Alex removed himself slowly, sitting up so he could see his face. “Go get that knife on the dresser.” His voice shook with barely contained need. Red creeped in at the edges of his eyes, fangs poking out from his lips.

Alex looked over his shoulder at his knife that he had on the first day they met. It hadn’t moved since they used it in a situation similar to this. He pushed himself up from the bed and grabbed it. He sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at it.

Michael took it gently from his hands and pushed himself back until he was sitting up against the headboard. Alex turned toward him and watched as he undid the button on his pants and pushed them down before kicking them off the side of the bed. Alex looked down at his own pants and stood again. He pushed them down his legs along with his underwear. He stumbled slightly with his prosthesis but Michael didn’t seem concerned. He stood at the edge of the bed completely naked, looking down at the other man in his bed.

“Come here,” Michael demanded lowly.

Alex crawled onto the bed and toward Michael, staying on all fours until they were face to face. He pressed his mouth to Michael’s and lifted a hand to drag it down his chest to his groin that throbbed when his fingers wrapped around it.

Michael groaned against his lips but pushed his hand away gently. Alex held himself up instead, jumping slightly when Michael leaned forward into his kiss and his fingers brushed over the edge of his prosthesis. His other hand pushed Alex to the side, forcing him to sit next to him on the bed. Michael kissed him again as he started to release the pressure. He let his fingers brush against his skin at every opportunity.

He eventually tugged the metal and plastic limb off, pulling away from Alex’s lips only to set it on the floor next to the bed. Alex pushed himself up onto his knees again, swinging his leg over Michael’s, sitting on his thighs. He grabbed his face, pulling at the hair as he ran his fingers through it. Michael wrapped his arms around his waist as their lips came together again.

Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. Every arch of Alex’s body, Michael mirrored with his own, keeping their bodies connected at as many points as possible. Alex slipped his tongue between Michael’s lips, tracing the point of a fang before running it over his tongue. He moaned and gripped his hips hard enough to leave bruises.

Michael pulled him closer, forcing their cocks to rub together. Alex rocked his hips, loving the feeling of it. He didn’t get to enjoy it for long before Michael was releasing him and pushing him back slightly.

Alex stared into red eyes. He tugged his bottom lip between his teeth and he could have giggled in delight at the way Michaels eyes followed the movement.

The sound of metal clicking drew his attention. Michael held the knife in his hand, pressing his thumb against the sharp edge. A small dribble ran down the blade and he lifted the knife to Alex’s lips. The warm liquid dripped onto his bottom lip and he immediately licked it away. Alex ran his hand over the arm holding the knife before carefully pressing his tongue against the blade where Michael’s blood dripped.

The coppery taste sent an inferno burning under his skin. His mark throbbed and he flinched, pressing too hard against the blade, opening a small cut on his tongue. Michael pulled the blade away immediately, panic crossing his face for only a moment. Then he reached up with his free hand, holding Alex’s face delicately. He brought the knife to his own throat, running the tip over the skin and then opening a small wound. He flicked the knife closed and turned his head to the side again.

Michael watched Alex as he pulled his head in to his neck. Alex checked his eyes, looking for any hint that he didn’t want this.

“Are you sure?” he whispered.

“Yes. My life is yours.”

Alex leaned forward, kissing his jaw a couple times. He felt his own blood pooling on his tongue. He moved down and hovered over the still bleeding wound for a moment before pressing his tongue against it. Michael’s hand flew up to scratch at his back. Alex moaned as he let his lips completely cover the wound. He bit gently around the area and Michael’s nails bit into him.

Visions flashed through his mind…

Him and Michael. Bodies burning as they moved together.

Michael drinking from his wrist.

Alex, teeth prominent and sinking into Michael’s shoulder.

Both of them with glowing eyes.

Fighting.

Living…

Both as vampires.

One of Michael’s hands grabbed at his hair, holding his mouth to his throat. Alex’s hips grinding against Michael’s only moved faster as he stroked them both with his free hand. Michael moaned loudly as the blood slipped down Alex’s throat.

His mark was insisting on the roles being reversed in a different way. Michael’s blood ran through his system, overtaking everything. The fire in his veins demanded a change. Something to cool it. To complete the transition.

Alex pulled away, panting and capturing Michael’s mouth instead. They tasted each other, no clear distinction of who was who anymore.

Then Michael was pushing him back and standing from the bed. It was as though time slowed as he watched Michael. He hadn’t even finished taking a breath before Michael was back on the bed with a bottle of lube, pulling Alex on top of him again.

But he had seen every step he took. Every flex of his back and arms as he opened drawers. It was less than a second of time but his eyes were sharper now. He could pick out the individual flecks of gold hidden under the glowing red of Michael’s eyes.

Their lips came together again and Alex could only whimper at how sweet Michael tasted. He tasted like sex and the smell of rain only enhanced it. They could have been in a forest covered in damp moss and Alex wouldn’t have known.

Michael’s fingers slid over his hole, the coolness of the lube a shock to his overheated body. His fingers slipped in easily. Two stretching him comfortably as he groaned against Michael’s lips. He felt him smile as he moved inside him slowly but with purpose. He pressed against the sweet spots of his walls and Alex’s cock could only throb in response.

“You saw what I wanted right? How badly I want to keep you with me forever?”

“Forever is a long time,” Alex teased, breathy and desperate. He pushed himself back on Michael’s fingers.

“I’ll just keep finding more ways to want you.”

Michael pressed against his prostate and Alex yelled out as pre-cum leaked from the tip of his cock. He swallowed his moans as he kissed him again. Michael’s fingers scissoring him open as he rolled his hips in time with his strokes.

Alex’s whole body was shaking by the time Michael removed his fingers. Their kisses had turned sloppy and desperate. Biting and licking at the other’s lips. Michael grabbed Alex’s hips, adjusting him so he was positioned over his own member.

“Head back. Hands on my shoulders,” he ordered. He began to pull Alex down so the head of his cock pressed against his entrance. Alex moaned and tipped his head back, turning it to the side slightly to expose his mark. He gripped Michael’s shoulders to stop his hands from shaking.

Then Michael was at his throat, pressing kisses and sucking more bruises into his skin. He pulled Alex down more so he slipped past his rim. Alex moaned and tried to sink down faster but Michael held him steady.

“I love you,” tumbled from his mouth, like he couldn’t control his words anymore. He whispered it again and again, with every new kiss Michael pressed into his skin.

It was when Michael finally sank his fangs into his mark that he was pulled down fully onto him. He choked out a whine and moan as he dug his nails into Michael’s skin. His venom raced through his body. More visions danced across his eyes. Visions of him and Michael far into the future and exploring the world together.

Turn me… Please… turn me so I can spend forever with you.

Michael gripped his hips and lifted him slightly before pulling him back down. Alex gasped as his legs shook. Michael repeated the motion but faster, the head of his cock rubbing roughly against Alex’s prostate. Alex’s hips jerked and he grinded himself down.

Michael’s groan vibrated on his skin. He licked the wounds closed and met Alex’s lips as he turned his head to face him again. They panted against each other, Michael controlling the speed of his hips as he bounced on him.

“I love you.... I love you… turn me,” Alex gasped out. Michael whined and groaned, dragging his hands from his waist and up his back. He yanked Alex against him, his own hips jerking up as Alex was sinking down. Alex cursed and grabbed the headboard as his head fell to Michael’s shoulder.

“Not yet. Be patient.”

Alex groaned as his cock rubbed against Michael’s abs. He teetered on the edge but Michael kept him from moving too fast. He bit into his shoulder, earning another jerk of his hips right into his sweet spot.

“I’m so close. I need more, please,” he begged. Suddenly Michael’s hands vanished from his back and were pulling his face up to rest against his forehead.

“Take what you need. And don’t stop until I fill you up.” Alex let out a shaky sigh as he was given full control of the pace.

The headboard knocked against the wall as he lifted himself and sank back down until he was as deep as he could go. He shuddered as every curve of him hit all the right places. His hips rolled and learned the rhythm to push him closer to the edge.

Then Michael started matching his pace with thrusts of his own. Harder and harder as their moans and gasps grew louder. Alex moaned out his name as the creaks of the bed only spurred him on.

Michael whispered hot encouragement against his lips. Taunts and dirty words. Heat coiled down and Alex stumbled forward, kissing Michael roughly. He gripped the headboard tighter and grinded down against Michael, his rhythm breaking with every downstroke.

“I love you, Alex.”

Michael grabbed his hips, moving him faster than he could manage on his own. Alex groaned loudly as his orgasm rushed at him full speed. His legs shook as cum spurt out between them. Michael kept him moving as the last of his fluids ran down the length of him. His moans were broken as overstimulation kicked in.

His cock twitched as Michael’s own gasps and moans filled his ears. Michael shoved himself in to the base a final time as he started pulsing inside Alex. The warmth was enough to make Alex grind down even though he was spent.

Alex collapsed against him, breathing in his scent. Michael rocked him slowly as he came down from his orgasm. He could feel the liquid leaking around his rim but couldn’t bring himself to move from his place.

Eventually, Michael started tracing mindless patterns on his skin. But even that couldn’t distract from the pain in his knees for long. As though reading his mind, Michael wrapped an arm around Alex’s waist and slid them both into a lying down position.

Alex laid fully on top of Michael, using his chest as a pillow. He listened to his steady heartbeat and he could have fallen asleep to its rhythm.

“My blood is in your system. It won’t fade for a few days. So don’t you dare die. Understand me?” Alex adjusted so he was resting his chin on his hands. He smiled sweetly at Michael.

“I promise.” Michael ran a gentle hand through his hair, brushing it off his forehead.

“I want to be the one to turn you when the time is right. But I want you to think it over more.”

Alex was confident that he wouldn’t change his mind. He wanted this. Michael was the only one he would ever want. They were made for each other and nothing could convince him otherwise.

“Caber will smell me on you. Tell him I’ll come for you. That might distract him enough to give your team extra time.”

“I said I didn’t want you anywhere near this,” Alex started to argue.

“I have to be nearby Alex. I won’t interfere and Isobel and Max will be with me. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I let you do this and you died.” Alex watched his eyes and the way the never wavered away from him.

“Ok.” A surprised look crossed his face but then he nodded. “And I’m already sure of what I want. I don’t need to think about it anymore.” Michael gave a half laugh and pulled Alex in for a soft kiss. “I love you more than anything else in the world.” A blush dusted over Michael face as he smiled.

Everything was going to be fine.

#malex fanfiction #malex vampire au #roswell new mexico fic #michael guerin/alex manes #michael guerin #alex manes #malex #malex fic

[shslrose]

Angel - Gundham Tanaka x Reader

Request:  gundham x female!reader, please!! i’m not very good with scenerios so i guess just go wild, but could the reader be on the more sensitive, motherly side? thank u in advance!

a/n - i hope i did this justice! thank you so much for the request!! <3

You had awoken from a nightmare in a cold sweat. A quick glance out your cottage window told you that the sun had only just begun to rise. You tried to fall asleep, but the thought of being killed haunted your mind. Would you be stabbed, like Byakuya? Or perhaps it would be blunt trauma, like Mahiru? You felt you had no other option, so you quickly left your cottage, wearing nothing but your white nightgown, deciding that you needed someone to help comfort you.

It wasn’t long before you arrived at Gundham’s cottage. For a moment, you hesitated to knock, fearful of disturbing his sleep. The fear of being alone crept back into your mind, and your hesitation dissipated. You had hardly begun to knock on the door when it had swung open, revealing your closest ally, Gundham Tanaka.

“Y/N…?” He said sleepily, a hint of surprise in his voice. He looked at your appearance, and in turn you looked at his. As he took in the sight of you, standing before him wearing a nightgown that was borderline indecent, a blush came over his face. At the same time, you analyzed his appearance; he wore a simple, yet flattering white t-shirt that clung to his body, and boxers. You also noticed the dark bags that had formed under his grey eyes, his red contact nowhere to be seen. 

“Wh..what are you doing here, Y/N?” He asked, looking away from you. He longed for his signature scarf, which had been discarded many hours ago and now hung next to his coat, for he could feel warmth rushing to his face. “Do you intend to challenge me, the Supreme Overlord of Ice? A foolish choice of action, if so, for I will not hesitate to defeat any challenger...even if it is an angel, such as yourself.”

“C-challenge? No..no I..I was just...scared,” you said quietly, looking down at your hands. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have bothered y-”

“Nonsense!” He declared, before gesturing with his left hand for you to enter his cottage. “You are no bother, none at all.”

You noticed then his left arm was uncovered, a distinct change from it’s usual status of being covered in bandages. You also noticed several small bite marks and scratches. As you entered the cottage, he must have noticed your gaze while closing the door, since he spoke again.

"Ah, truly you must be in possession of the All Seeing Eye! To notice such a detail… truly, you are an angel!”

It was your turn to blush then. Angel. He called you that frequently, and it never failed to leave you flustered. “Gundham… your arm, did your devas do that?”

“Fuhahaha,” he laughed, uproariously. “Tis but a minor injury, and of no consequence to a being such as myself!”

“But still… I’m no Ultimate Nurse, but will you please allow me to wrap your arm in bandages?”

“I… Well… It’s not a good idea, for an angel such as yourself to come that close to a dark creature like me,” he said nervously. It was too late, your caring nature had already kicked in and there was no way you were giving in. Without warning, you reached out and held his hand.

“See? It’s okay.” You said, with his hand in yours. In that moment, Gundham had never blushed so hard before in his life, but you hardly noticed. “Now, sit down please. I need to wrap your arm, so you can heal properly.”

Normally, Gundham would’ve protested, but he could hardly think straight, not while you were holding his hand. It was almost as if… you cared for him? But no, that was impossible. How could someone like you ever care for him…? So he simply obeyed, sitting down on the edge of his bed. You let go of his hand then, moving towards his dresser to grab a bandage, and he felt an immense sense of disappointment. How he yearned to feel your warm touch again…

It wasn’t long before you returned to him, and began carefully tending to his arm. For a short while, the two of you sat in silence, but it wasn’t long before you spoke up.

“Gundham?”

“Yes, Y/N?”

“I was just wondering… why you… why do you… call me an angel?” As the question escaped your lips, you couldn’t bear to make eye contact with him. 

“Why do I call you an angel? Hmph. Do you also ask why red roses are red? Some things in nature simply are what they are.” He paused for a moment before continuing, as though he was considering whether or not he should. “I have told you before, I am the product of an angel and a demon, and as a cursed halfbreed I am destined to unleash true hell upon hell itself…! My mother was an angel, and so I can see that angelicness reflected within you. True kindness lives within you, I can see it in your aura! Truly, you are an angel!”

“Oh, so it’s because I’m kind? Just as your mother was?” You asked, simply. You had finished wrapping his wounds, and now the two of you sat side by side.

“Well… there is also the matter of your appearance,” he continued, shyly.

“My...appearance?”

“It… it is obvious that you have an...angelic appearance... on this astral plane,” he said, stuttering slightly. One glance over at you was already too much for him, the sight of you, sitting on his bed, wearing that enticingly thin nightgown...

“I.. I don’t understand…?” You asked, although a small part of you did understand.

“I...I mean to say that.. well… you are… quite.. beautiful,” he mumbled. 

“You.. think I’m beautiful?” 

“D-do not make me repeat myself!” he declared suddenly. “Is it not clear that I… find you to be… attractive..?”

That was all you needed to hear: you leaned over and pressed your lips against his. The kiss was short and sweet, lasting only a moment before you pulled away. A surprised expression was plastered on Gundham’s face, and for a moment you wondered if you had made a mistake.

“Did.. did you not want that? I-I’m sorry, I just thought-”

Before you could finish, he kissed you. He pulled you onto his lap, and then you were on top of him, straddling him as you made out. Passion override your mind, and the fear you had felt earlier was erased.

As time went by, the sun rose fully, and it was time for everyone to gather at the hotel restaurant. Well, almost everyone.

“Where’s Y/N?” Chiaki asked. “I haven’t seen her since yesterday… I think.”

Geez, that girl seriously needs to get more confident in her statements, thought Hajime.

“Ah, and Gundham is missing as well!” Nagito pointed out. “I hope a murder has occured. A new class trial needs to start soon, so we can overcome desp-”

“Shut the fuck up, you bastard!” Fuyuhiko exclaimed. “What kind of sick fuck hopes there’s a murder?!”

“If a murdered occured,” Hiyoko called out, “I bet it was that nasty trashy pigshit, Mikan, who did it!”

“W-w-what?!” Mikan cried.

“Everyone, please calm down!” Sonia shouted. “I shall go to Gundham and Y/N’s cottages and retrieve them!” Sonia, along with Kazuichi who volunteered to go with her and Fuyuhiko who agreed to come along in order to prevent any of Kazuichi’s perverted antics, left the restaurant. She was eager to find her lost classmates, but upon entering Gundham’s cottage, she was extremely surprised to find you there, lying in his bed alongside him. 

“Y/N! What are you… the two of you…how disgraceful…!”

Kazuichi, who was just seconds behind her, gasped. “G-gundham? Are you kidding me? Gundham landed Y/N before I nailed Miss Son-”

“Shut your fuckin’ mouth,” the yakuza interrupted, “or I’ll shut it for you!”

The trio stepped out, allowing you and Gundham to get dressed. You had nothing but your nightgown, so Gundham lended you one of his shirts. Outside, Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi were still bickering. The five of you made your restaurant, with you and Sonia trailing behind the boys.

“So, Gundham, how was she? C’mon, you gotta tell us everything! Did she let you touch her b-”

“Cut it, Soda!” Fuyuhiko shouted, before cracking a small grin. “Really though, Gundham, nice going.”

The idea of talking about you with them was true hell to Gundham, so he simply blushed, covered his face with his scarf, and muttered out some excuse about not knowing what they meant. 

As he walked, he thought of nothing but you. Truly, you were his angel.

{please send in any danganronpa requests! i will write literally anything for literally any character. also, like / reblog / follow if u enjoyed <3}

#gundham x reader #gundham tanaka #gundham tanaka x reader #gundham tanaka one shot #gundham tanaka imagine #danganronpa #super danganronpa two #danganronpa 2 #fuyuhiko kuzuryuu #sonia nevermind #kazuichi souda #danganronpa imagines #makoto naegi #nagito komeada #ibuki mioda