#harry styles alien au

[kwritingbooks]

co-written by me & @shroombloomm

read on wattpad or tumblr masterlist

It wasn’t supposed to end this way. Harry felt like he had been so careful. The person he thought he could trust the most let him down and now he felt like he had nothing. But he did he really have nothing? Was this all a waste afterall?

AU: star-being!harry x astronomy-student!aurora

Harry’s POV

Coming home was like a walk of shame, especially with Leon. I knew Leon cared about me, but sometimes his love felt so cold. I wasn’t sure if love was supposed to feel that way. I had always been the bubbly one out of the two of us; he was the most serious. I think that was why father would always choose Leon to do things over me, perhaps because I wasn’t serious.

But I could be.

Growing up on this planet was hard enough. Being the son of the king, I had to live up to a lot of standards, but I was afraid they were ones I simply couldn’t reach.

Father used to scold me about playing around too much, even if it was with one of the other star-kids. He told me that I should follow Leon’s steps, take after Leon, walk like Leon, talk like Leon. It was always about Leon.

Leon. Leon. Leon.

But me?

I just wanted to be my own person. Outside of my brother.

I wanted to be like everyone else, but my father never allowed me the fun activities that I should have had. So instead, I was the one that peered outside my room to see the star-kids playing. I envied them and maybe they envied me, but if they were in my position they wouldn’t feel nearly as jealous. Money was not everything, sure we had the riches, but that meant nothing to me if I wasn’t out there having fun or living a life I wanted so desperately to have.

I wanted to feel what those kids felt as they beamed from point to point together, leaving trails of laughter in their own dust. It would echo in my brain, even when they were far gone. It stayed with me like a gnawing in my chest. And once that feeling started, I never really grew out of it.

Leon took on missions way before me. My father didn’t trust me up until this point, so you could imagine my excitement whenever the mission was offered to me. Before that, I was watching Leon leave our planet almost every day to do his missions. I envied him in the worst way, I could admit that. Jealousy washed over me every time he got to leave the planet while I had to stay by mother’s side.

It was embarrassing.

And yet, I somehow managed to fuck up my first mission this bad. At least that was what it seemed like given the distant glares I would catch from Leon as I followed slowly beside him. All the way past the clouds, past the moon, and to the familiar glare of our home planet.

Our bodies grazed against the cold surface of the ground, the twinkling lights of our palace that once soothed me, now blinded me with shame ahead of us. I didn’t even bother to look up to greet the guards, who seemed to immediately notice my change in demeanor. As well as Leon’s.

We walked silently through the hallways of the palace, the silence deafening. Our heels clicking only rang louder in my ears the more I tuned into our surroundings, it being the only sound in the hallway other than my nonexistent heart pounding. When we got to my room, I stopped at the door, staring at it as if it was going to bite me.

I didn’t want to be here.

I wanted to be with Aurora.

My Aurora.

My sweet, soft, caring Aurora—

“Adhara was asking of you earlier.” Leon said. “She was asking how you were. I thought it to be quite odd, I thought you two didn’t talk after the break up. It’s been like a hundred Earth years anyway.”

My body stilled, ignoring his last comment. “She was asking about me? Well, I…we haven’t spoken in sometime, sure. We ran into each other at the bar a bit ago, but that was it. I hadn’t seen or talked to her since.”

Leon hummed, nodding. “She seems to still be fond of you from the way she was talking, but don’t take my word for it, what do I know about romance?” He chuckled lowly but quickly regained his previous stoic look.

“Ha, yeah…” I awkwardly scratched the back of my neck, pulling my lips into my mouth as I let my mind wander off.

I wasn’t sure about Adhara. Though the split was a clean break, it was odd she was asking about me. I hadn’t thought about her in a long time. Ever since I met Aurora…

Well, even before then. She had no room in my mind. I had too many things on my plate.

“Rest well, brother.” Leon’s voice shook me from my thoughts. “You will need it.”

I stood there, my mind blank. I wasn’t sure what to say, not after what he had seen. I never thought he would find me curled up with a human, yet there I was, being tended to by a human. One of the most important rules, broken, and I was caught when I was sure I was being careful. Obviously I wasn’t being careful enough.

After some moments of silence, Leon gave me a short nod and began to walk away. I felt my nerves prick up inside of me, it was that anxiety Aurora had told me about. I knew that now and I couldn’t let him go without making sure father would never hear of what happened.

“Leon, wait–” I hushed under my breath, reaching out to grab his arm. He turned around, brow arched as he looked over my sullen expression. “Um…” I dropped my hand by my side, finding myself fiddling with my fingers.

“Harry, is there something wro–”

“Please do not tell father.” I interjected lowly, eyes darting side to side as if he was somewhere around us, waiting for us to speak of something we weren’t supposed to. I was paranoid. I didn’t want him to know, it wasn’t his business. I needed to show my worth, show my father that I was able to do this mission and succeed at something for once.

Just once.

“You expect me not to bring this up to father?” Leon chuckled darkly, tilting his head in confusion as he gave me a once over. He was looking at me like I had two heads. “I mean, really Harry. You almost died!”

“Leon, I am asking you for a favor, please do not tell him!” I raised my voice enough that it echoed through the hallways, my eyes blinked hard as I scowled at him. “I need this mission. This is my one shot, I know I messed up, but I can do better!”

“Exactly, Harry. You messed up.” Leon pointed at me as he took a step closer, a grimace on his face. “This is an important mission, if not the most important mission. Our lives are in your hands and yet you are on Earth running around with a human? Does our kind not mean anything to you?”

I felt rage, but I couldn’t say that it was entirely directed at Leon. I was angry with myself too, but I was more angry that Leon was the one to point out my mistakes faster than I could admit to any of them.

“Of course our lives mean something to me!” I nearly yelled, feeling my cheeks heat into a dark blue with anger as I clenched my fists by my side. “This mission means something to me, Leon. I need this. I am simply asking you, as your brother, to not tell father. You don’t know what’s happening on Earth. There’s a man named Collins and he knows something about me. I just–I can’t quite put my finger on what all he knows yet, but he seems to be noticing my absences now and because he sees me in the sky! I don’t think he really knows it me yet, he is just tracking it but soon–”

“And what, Harry? Do you really think a human is going to know anything about our wars? Our history?” He interjected, gesturing his arms out all around us as his eyes wandered with it. “As far as I am concerned, you are to watch over the aurora lights and you cannot even do that. Instead you meddle around with humans! Is that not a part of the most important rules?!”

“Do not bring Aurora into this.” I hissed with a grimace, clenching my jaw tightly as I took a challenging step towards him. “You leave her out of this. I am taking care of this mission. You are just not giving me enough time.”

Leon laughed softly, shaking his head as if I had said something funny.

“Father was right. You are not ready for this mission.” He said bluntly, shrugging both of his shoulders as he took a step back from me to create distance. He could see how flustered and angry I was. I was sure he was trying to deescalate the situation, but his words angered me more. “I know that you have kept your nose in books all of your life and maybe you live a fantasy of being a hero, but you are not ready.”

“How do you know what I am ready and not ready for?!” My anger finally exploded, the scream ripped through my throat loudly as my fist hit the wall next to me before finding myself stomping to him.

“All my life I have had to live up to our father's expectations! Leon this, Leon that, ‘Why can’t you be as good as Leon?! Why can’t you be as strong as Leon?!” I was now inches from him, disgust written across my face as I let out a harsh breath. “You haven’t even been around! Growing up, where were you? Training! Doing missions! I would like to say that I feel like I know you, but the more we speak, the more you are nothing but a stranger to me!”

“That cannot be true–”

“It is!” I interjected quickly. “But you wouldn’t know, would you? Because you are his favorite.” I pointed towards the royal hall doors. I paused, almost not saying what I so desperately wanted to. “Are you even my brother anymore? Were you ever my brother, Leon?”

Leon trained his eyes on me, nostrils flaring as I exploded in his face with rage. It wasn’t even half of it. There was so much more I wanted to say and I could barely get the words out without feeling like I was small for showing any kind of emotion. Leon never did. My father never did. Maybe I took after my mother because she, out of all of us, was the most in touch with her emotions.

“You have no idea what it is like living in your shadow.” I whispered harshly. My chest felt like it was going to cave in. It took me back to the day I broke down in front of Aurora. The feeling was similar, but this hurt worse than any kind of disappointment I could possibly experience. “So please…brother. If that is what you are to me—” My voice cracked, causing me to flinch at the sudden emotion. “Do this for me. Please.”

His lip twitched, straightening his posture as he created distance between us. I watched as he turned on his heel and began to walk away. Just as I was about to yell at him once more, he stopped and turned his head just barely to glance at me.

“I will remain silent until I cannot any longer.” He said, hushed. “Our lives…ride on this.”

“I know…”

With that, he said nothing more and disappeared into another quarter of the house. I felt my body relax, but not by much. I was riding a high, maybe it was just a power trip, but I felt good about myself. So many times I had let Leon run all over me but not at that moment.

I almost wished that I could tell Aurora about it.

Soon.

Soon I could.

I hadn’t talked to Leon since our argument. To be honest, I had just kept to myself. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to accidentally bump into anyone I knew. I just wanted to be alone. With a book. Like I used to always find myself doing whenever things were normal. Or as normal as I could remember.

I reread one of my favorite books that I had remembered reading when I had just begun to learn our language well enough to read full sentences. It was a book about enchantment among the stars. The history of it made me gape with wonder every time. It was amazing to think such little flicks of light could completely shape who we were and how our people came to be. At least a small part of it.

It was fascinating nonetheless.

I had just gotten to my favorite part about how energy formed the enchantment for some of our first beings. Little particles swarmed together, creating a mystifying sequence of events. That little moment of joy was quickly stolen from loud thumps sounding through the kingdom, mixed with an animalistic growl.

“Harry Edward!” Boomed in a room separate of my own, from the vocal range of none other than my own father.

Shit.

“You better explain yourself immediately! Leon!” His voice sounded louder, his steps shaking the paintings that had just hung motionless on the walls.

I inched closer to my closed door. I knew it didn’t hold much protection against the anger that was waiting for me. I could tell he was opening and closing doors, along with the helping hands of random guards who must have been recruited for the job.

“Get down here now!” He somehow yelled louder, stomping his staff onto the hardened stone below his feet. It sounded like the loudest noise I had ever had the displeasure of hearing. It even sent a shiver down my back as I peered around the crack of the door.

I could see the frame of him, standing to attention in the middle of the bottom floor. Knowing he wasn’t on the same level as me did fill me with a slight amount of peace at least. It would at least give me time to run if I had to.

Just when I was about to bolt back into my room and lock myself away from his wrath, I felt two large hands wrap around my arms and jerk me backwards from the bedroom door. Gasping, I looked back to see two guards that had stone cold looks.

“Wait, don’t–” I whispered quickly, but they were not amused and instead dragged me down to the bottom floor where my father stood. I could feel my insides twisting, even if I didn’t really have insides like humans did, there was still a vivid feeling; one that I had had during my time on Earth. The stairs brushed against the heels of my feet as they dragged me, I could still hear my father throwing a fit, and I couldn’t imagine what it was about.

If I could empty my stomach like I had on Earth previously, I would’ve. The anxiety was too much for my body to handle. Standing up to Leon was one thing, but to my father? Well, that was like signing a death certificate.

When we got to the bottom steps, the guards pushed me to the ground in front of where my father stood. I landed onto my knees, my hands catching my fall onto the cold, hard floor. My eyes trained on the stone for moments, I didn’t dare to look up at him. If he was looking at me, which I was sure he was, he would notice my body visibly shaking.

“You.” I heard him spit in anger, gazing my eyes up to his sterned look.

“H-Hello, Father–” I tried to stand to my feet, but he was quick to use his staff to hit the ground, causing the floor to shake hard enough that it made me fall back to the ground, a loud yelp escaped me. Gusts of cracked flooring ricocheted in the room as I stumbled back onto my feet. Even a layer of star dust had been disrupted and sprinkled against my skin amongst the chaos.

“Just what were you thinking?!” His voice was loud and scary, one that I had heard many times, but nothing like that. I didn’t think I had ever been as scared of my father as I was right then.

My eyes searched the floor for answers. This had to be a trap. I didn’t know what I had done. Searching through my memories, I didn’t think he could possibly know anything of my wrong doings. Leon promised he wouldn’t tell father–unless he…

Lied.

I looked to the side, finding Leon that was entering the shit-show that father had displayed in the corridor. He stared, confused, watching me as I kneeled before our father with mercy.

No.

He couldn’t have.

“Father, I-I can explain–” I rushed out, locking my eyes with his as I pleaded silently for his mercy, but instead his hands wrapped around my neck and stood me to my feet. I struggled for what seemed like lightyears, but it was only a fraction of that before I was being pushed against the wall besides us.

“A human?! You have been meddling around with a human?!” He roared out, so loudly that I could’ve sworn his throat ripped from the scream.

But my body stilled.

I looked towards Leon whose eyes had widened in mutual horror. Narrowing my eyes to him just for a moment, faster than my father could have caught it. He stood far from us, it was almost like he was eavesdropping.

If I could’ve lost the hue in my face, I was sure it would’ve been some sort of meek, lilac color instead of the vivid purples it typically held. I stared wide eyed, hands wrapped around his wrist as my nails dug slightly into his form. My body shook. He knew the truth. After everything, Leon still went to tell father. He betrayed me and my trust and now I was left to be dealt with by the scariest man on this planet.

“N-No, it’s not true–” I spoke low, gulping thickly.

“Do not lie to me, Harry Edward!” He pulled me back from the wall, only to throw me back once more even harder. I felt the air leave me, inhaling sharply as my knees buckled underneath me.

“I am not lying! I don’t know what you’re speaking of!” I groaned, furrowing my brows tightly. There was a silence drawn out in the air, which I wouldn’t find as scary if he wasn’t already pissed off, but a silent father was the worst thing that could have happened in any circumstance.

“Fine.” He said shortly, pulling away from my body as he glanced towards the center of the room and gestured his hand towards it. A ball of light shone in his palm as it flattened, and his finger pointed straight out.

My own fingers were digging into my thigh as a hologram shone from his opened hand. What happened next made my throat close up. I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was once again fighting against my emotions, but the current was stronger than I could fight it.

“What is this then?” He looked back at me. I stood there, picking my fingers as I forced myself to look at him. I stayed silent. “What is this, Harry?! Tell me!”

Glancing back to the hologram, there was a video of Aurora and I. We were holding hands, walking down the road. I remember this. This was after our first kiss. I had walked her home that day after class. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as my breath hitched in the back of my throat. My fingers tapped the corners, looking down at the wet liquid. Why was this happening? I recalled the first time crying with Aurora, though I had never done this before Earth. Not here at home. We didn’t do that here. Our emotions were different here. They didn’t have the same physical reaction.

Could this be happening because I spent too much time on Earth? It seemed impossible. That was crazy, right? Star-beings didn’t cry. They couldn’t.

They didn’t even know what that was.

Or was that why we never did—we just never knew it was possible?

The video kept rolling and when we got to her door, I kissed the side of her face and gave her a hug and parted ways. Watching it back, I didn’t regret it. I didn’t regret a single thing that happened when I was with Aurora. Maybe she meant more to me than I could ever possibly admit to myself. But in that moment, I knew I was fucked regardless.

I was done for.

My father balled his fists up, making the hologram close and there was nothing but a dull room. Dull because Aurora could always light the room up with her presence and even if she wasn’t in this room, I could feel her anyway.

She was everywhere around me.

“Father, I–”

“You have failed me once again.” He interjected as he turned towards me, staring daggers at me. “The most important rule and you’ve disobeyed me. I knew that you were not ready for this mission, but your mother wanted to give you a chance. I should’ve never listened to her.”

“Just let me explain mysel–!”

“No!” He roared out, slamming his staff down once again onto the ground for emphasis as he stalked towards me. “To think I had faith in you? To think that for a mere moment that you could ever be like–” He stopped himself.

My chest stung, face softening as my lips parted. Once again, I felt like a kid. I was two moon pebbles tall, watching my father beam proudly at Leon while he smugly excelled at all of his tasks. When I was younger I always looked up to my brother. I always wanted to be like him.

But realistically?

I never really stood a chance.

“Say it.” I gritted through my teeth, balling my fists by my side as I stared at my father who dared not to look at me. After a few moments of silence, I could feel the anger boiling up. “Go on! Say it, father! I could never be like Leon!”

His fingers tightened around his staff, clearing his throat dryly. “I cannot have you messing this up for us! Our lives are at stake, Harry! You–you’re off the mission! You’ve left me no choice!” He yelled loudly, causing me to flinch. “Leon will be taking your place, effective immediately. You will no longer be allowed on Earth. You are to stay here, perhaps do more training–”

“I’m off the mission?! You cannot do this!” I blew my top, stomping towards him, teeth clenched tightly in anger. “This is my mission! Mine! You never gave me a chance!” I started to panic, maybe it was for all the wrong reasons, but I couldn’t go another day without seeing Aurora.

The thought of losing her forever, not being able to be around her anymore. I had grown so fond of her. I realized now that I had feelings for her. They were deeper than I could’ve imagined.

“I will do what I must to keep us alive! And you must learn there are consequences to your moral failings!” Father screamed back at me, a cold look shooting towards me. “You are off the mission! That is final!”

Anger and sadness encapsulated my body. I watched as my father walked out of the corridor to reside and I was left there with the guards that were standing by the staircase. I stared at the floor as it was all I could manage to do. I was trying to process everything, thinking about all the times I could’ve been more careful with Aurora.

Leon rushed towards me, eyes widened. “Harry, I swear I didn’t—“

“Are you happy now?!” I yelled at him in anger, shoving his hands off of me as I backed away from him. “Do not fucking touch me—do not even get close to me!”

I was livid. I felt so many emotions, I didn’t know what to do with them. They were hitting me all at once. For a moment I wanted to cry and the next I wanted to blow a hole through the wall. For once, I couldn’t predict what I was going to do.

“You must believe me, Harry, I swear—“

“Do not speak to me, Leon!” A throat ripping scream surpassed my lips, surprising not only me, but him as well. He stood there in shock, lips pressed tightly together before backing away from me. “Don’t you get it? You’ve ruined my life before it ever began!”

I needed to be alone before I did something irrational.

I felt myself choke on a sob, tears streaming hotly down my cheeks as I pushed myself past the guards and stomped myself up the stairs. I tried to hide my emotions. That was one thing I was never good at. I wore them on my sleeve, and sometimes I envied Leon for how well and composed he was with his emotions, but me? I always got the short end of the stick.

“Harry, darling? What’s happening?” My mother watched at the top of the stairs, concerned as she saw the wet streaks run down my face. She looked in deep concern, but I wasn’t sure if it was due to my yelling or by the mysterious tears she had never seen before.

I let out a weak sob, shaking my head to her as I pushed past her and made my way to my room. I was always so open with my mother, but this time I needed to keep to myself. If I was to talk now, it would only hurt more. I used the back of my hand to brush away the tears, pushing myself into my room before slamming it shut and pressing my back against the door once and for all.

Peace.

Finally.

Time wasn’t felt the same way on our home planet compared to how it was felt on Earth. Earth had the sun and the moon greet them to match different times of the day. There was a societal structure to everything and everyone followed it according to where they were located on their floating rock.

Our floating rock didn’t have those societal rules. We didn’t have the sun to light up and reflect against our faces. We never got to feel the warmth of the morning sun after freshly waking up. We didn’t even wake up because we didn’t even sleep.

All that was to say, I didn’t know how long it had been. It felt long, but time also seemed to stop since my last argument with father and Leon. I hadn’t left my room for any reason. There had been a couple of attempts from my mother to check on me, but I always came up with some excuse as to why I couldn’t talk.

I doubted she even believed me when I gave her each new excuse.

I need to rest. Our beings didn’t rest.

I’m studying right now. All my studying materials were in the library where I left them.

I have a friend over right now. I haven’t talked to any of my friends here since before the mission even started.

She never questioned it, though. She always just let me be.

In reality, all I had done was sit in varying spots. For awhile it was slumped over in one of my study chairs that remained useless recently. Then it became me migrating to the floor, face first against the cold surface. That was my favorite out of the options I found. Although, I didn’t mind floating in circles. It took too much focus to keep doing it for too long though.

It was hard to focus on anything besides the words that cut so deep rock in my brain so loudly. It was never ending. It almost felt like I had lived my life a lie this whole time. No one in this family ever really valued me. No one ever believed in me. And maybe that was why I continued to fail in their eyes, because that was all they ever thought of me. So much so that I started to believe it myself.

And now here I was.

I considered slipping out through the window, but whatever was outside didn’t interest me enough. I didn’t want to see any of those backstabbing good for nothing guards either. They all thought the same about me anyway. They were always so far up my father’s ass that he could say anything and they would believe him.

Anger festered for a long time while I was willingly holed up in my room. I was so angry that I couldn’t even pinpoint the specifics. I was mad at everything. Leon was who I was most angry at, not even father. I expected that out of him, but Leon?

He promised and he broke that promise. So quickly too. I could never trust him again. I couldn’t trust anyone. Not even mom. She would just tell dad anyway.

I was drained. I was drained of any semblance of who I used to be—or at least of who I used to believe I was. Maybe this was the realization of my reality afterall. I did seem to screw everything up. Aurora will never know what happened to me. She would probably think I wanted to cut her out of my life.

But that could never be more wrong. I needed her. Now I would never see her again. It was hard to fully even blame anyone else. I knew I shouldn’t have done what I did, but I still didn’t regret it. The fact that I didn’t regret made me start to believe what father and Leon had said from the beginning.

I wasn’t ready. And I never would be, because I couldn’t stay away from her. I couldn’t.

I would see her again. I would make sure of it. I just wasn’t sure how. This just couldn’t be the end.

Knock knock.

“Studying again, mom. Maybe later.” I mumbled from a couch cushion that I had submerged my face into awhile ago. I could smell the fragrance or juniper that had been brushed on by mother sometime ago.

“Not mom.” The voice said from the other side of the door. I shot my head up, not expecting the sound of my brother speak. The knob wiggled, but the lock fought harder against the movement. I felt my nerves prick at me, slowly soothing themselves when the movement stopped.

For a moment I thought he has given up, just like mom when she would try to engage in conversation with me.

I smashed my face back into the pillowed fabric, quickly gasping when I heard a loud noise from the door. My head picks up, seeing an opening where my door once stood. Leon’s hand steamed with vapor as he reached out in front of him.

I grumbled under my breath. I could lock my door and lie all I wanted, but if Leon wanted something, he would always find a way around it. Even if that meant using his powers to do so. I should’ve known.

“I don’t want to talk, Leon.” I pointed my attention out towards the window, pretending to be interested in the same scenery as I had seen every other time I had spent infinite amounts of time in the same spot. “Not right now and not ever. Get out.” My tone was bold and serious. I meant every word.

“Harry.” He drew out a long breath. I could already envision him looking at the ground, trying to think of a way to manipulate the situation so he could get what he wanted. I knew him better than he thought I knew him.

I was so tired of being fooled by him. Not again.

“Harry you need to get out of your room. It’s not good for you. Mother is worried about you.” He said through a disgruntled breath. It wasn’t disgruntled in the way it normally was when he didn’t immediately get his way though. I couldn’t tell exactly why though.

“Don’t talk to me about what’s good for me. That mission was good for me. Earth was good for me. I’m starting to believe I’m more appreciated down there anyway. People actually care about me there. It was a nice change.” My eyes stayed focused on the beings floating below. I watched them as they ventured in and out of different rock-formed buildings. Some looked happy. Some looked neural. Some even looked like they were in a rush—for what, I wasn’t sure.

“Harry, don’t say that.” He held his breath and I could hear it. His feet making closer steps in my direction were heard but I did my best to ignore it. I wanted to ignore everything that was going on. Everything besides the strangers below. That was all I wanted to be interested in at the moment.

“You know I didn’t tell him, right? I have no idea how he found out. I didn’t have a reason to tell him. I told you that.” I could feel him behind me now. Even his shadow felt intimidating.

“Why should I believe that?” I grumbled into my palm as it rested tightly against my chin.

“How would I have gotten a video? I had just found out. Why would I even need a hologram for father to believe me? I could’ve just told him simply and he would’ve believed me. It has to be someone else.” He walked up to the window I was peering out of, seemingly searching for the same mindless things I was.

I turned my body in his direction, meeting his eye this time. He continued to trace the beings’ paths of voyage down the pebbled path.

“So it wasn’t you?” Was all I could manage to say. It was like I was talking aloud to myself. I couldn’t believe the words out of my own mouth. This whole time I believed it was him, but he was right. Father would’ve believed him just by him saying something happened. It got me into countless trouble as a kid, whether it was true or not. It didn’t matter.

He was right.

“No, Harry. I told you.” He said as he looked into my eyes. They didn’t waver or have an evil glimmer that it normally did when he was trying to trick me. There wasn’t anything in between his words that reeked of his normal manipulation tactics. He was serious.

I huffed a deep breath, looking back out of the pane of sparkly glass. I wasn’t going to apologize for assuming. I had every right to assume. He gave me no reason to trust him, so he couldn’t be surprised that I thought that.

“I wanna help you figure out who it was. He paused and stepped in front of me to block my view. “Who knows what else they know? What if it’s a light guardian? Some kind of spy?”

“Spy?” I repeated. “Like someone watching me?”

“Watching me. Watching you. Watching all of us. That’s what we need to figure it out.”

I stood up straighter now, no longer laying my body in different directions against the chair. My voice even perked up, less slurred and depressed like it had been. Life sparked back in me.

“How do we find that out?” I questioned him curiously. I hated that I was still going to him for answers. Had I learned nothing?

“Not here. Follow me.” He gestured for me to follow him as he passed through the empty doorframe. I rolled my eyes, remembering how annoying his entrance was.

Before I knew it, we were outside, a place I hadn’t even considered going near since I got back to this hellscape. My bedroom was all I had recently, especially because I couldn’t have what I actually wanted. Or needed. Her dark hair still flowed through my mind so easily. Maybe that was what humans felt when they dreamed. The details of her that I memorized felt so real and so made up all at the same time.

I felt lightweight, but not in the lack-of-gravity way. Like in the way I would when I was on Earth in a fully human body. Everything felt fuzzy and a bit disorienting. I found myself wondering if Leon would know what I meant. I wasn’t going to bring it up though. I felt alienated enough.

Plus I was still confused on where we were going.

“Where are we going?” My voice broke out with slight annoyance as I continued to get bored of the slow pace he maintained. He seemed to look at every little detail that was around us on both sides. Like he was seeing movies of moments with each step.

If I wasn’t so annoyed I might have found myself doing the same. The space in front of us, our own private area given to our family when our father accepted the throne, was full of endless memories growing up. Some good, some bad. Some really bad. But, also some really good too.

I was still too drained to think of anything else besides how I wanted to go back to my room and continue the pathetic attempt at a life I had going for me. I just didn’t understand why he was bringing me all the way back here to tell me some seemingly secretive plan on how to find these people that we didn’t even know existed or not.

Sure, it was a possibility. Plenty of people would have wanted our heads on sticks when light guardians were brought into the equation. But they could do so much more damage than tattling on the king’s son. They could kill me if they really wanted to. Especially on Earth, but they didn’t.

So was it a light guardian that sent in that hologram? I didn’t get it.

Before I knew it, I stumbled into the back of Leon. My face screwed into confusion, my arms reaching out in front of me instinctively.

Leon whipped around with a confused look, quickly shaping into amusement. “Still clumsy as ever, I see.”

I fought a smile that spread over my lips, not wanting him to get the satisfaction or idea that he was completely off the hook for everything that had happened.

Luckily, he had already turned around and took a sharp right at the marble statue that stood at least three times our size. Suddenly I remembered one flash of memory of us climbing to the top, only to shortly be yelled at by our mom to get down before dad saw. We would pretend to ignore that mom would smile at us with a wink. She always seemed happy when she found us doing normal brotherly activities. I never realized that was what that look meant until I got a lot older.

Following him felt like another eternity, but I knew where we were going now. We were heading somewhere we hadn’t been in hundreds of years. We stopped going once Leon met the age where he started going to missions. He would promise we would go again when he would get back, but then he started leading those missions and soon lost track of time. He was always busy—whether busy at work or busy being praised for doing everything I couldn’t.

The same space traveler that had a bright blue gleam along each side still stood proudly. Its rounded body still looked like it had never been touched, not a scratch of color or a bend in the metals. It had withstanded so much, from blasts of star energy thrown to asteroids bouncing off like hail.

It actually seemed to glow brighter with a green hue as we got closer. A wave of guilt came forcefully as I realized I had completely pushed away and forgot about this thing. This thing traveled for us during attacks, sure, but it was also how Leon and I got to our favorite spot in the entire galaxy.

Our lone star that we named Solus. It was the Latin word for “alone.” We both agreed that that was what that star was for. It was our secret spot for when things got to be too much. There weren’t any guards watching us when our parents couldn’t. There weren’t other beings watching us just to catch the next drama to concoct about us. We were always just Harry and Leon here. That was it.

We still hadn’t said anything, even after coming to the realization that we were going to go to Solus after all this time again. There wasn’t anything that needed to be said anyway. We both understood why we were going there. We just needed to be Harry and Leon for this.

The mobile rocked a bit from our bodies shifting inside as it was suspended in its gravity-induced landing. Little freckles of moon dust got pulled in as we shut the door behind us. It let out a sucking noise, indicating that it was closed completely tight.

Leon made his way to the steering mechanisms silently, but instead of immediately following him, I looked around at all the blinking buttons. Each had different colors, indicating different codes that I could never remember. That was also probably why I was never allowed to steer myself.

“Ready?” Leon asked. I heard his buckle click into place, strapping his chest to the seat. His fingers danced around the dash, pushing different buttons and flicking switches in opposite directions that I also didn’t understand.

I nodded my head and found my way in the seat beside him. My arm extended towards the crossbody belt, hearing the same click as Leon had made.

“Ready.” I finally spoke up, intertwining my fingers together in my lap.

It was hard to conceal all of the excitement I had. I almost felt like a kid again. Back when Leon and I actually knew each other.

Within moments, a gust of light encapsulated our space traveler, making a buzzing noise that increased in intensity. Until the light vanished, immediately jolting us forward. Flashes of light zipped past, not allowing us any time to even make out the star formations. It all seemed to mix together and create one big stream of light that would only slightly waver if I looked close enough.

It didn’t last long until the ship came to a holt, sure to have flung us to a different galaxy if we weren’t belted in the way we were.

If I had bones I was sure they would’ve cracked one by one. If they even remained intact.

“That doesn’t feel any easier than when we were younger.” Leon muttered under his breath, rubbing at his head with a chuckle. He clicked himself free, pushing more random buttons to finish docking it.

“If anything, that felt worse than when we were kids.” I said with a smirk, fiddling with my own belt now.

“We’re just old now, eh?” He shot me a joking look as he walked out towards the door, waiting from a distance as it swung out with a few dinging noises.

Everything was so still. Every little flake of light looked just as we had left it. It was no brighter or dimmer than I last remembered.

And the silence. We didn’t hear footsteps or people chatting away about useless things. We didn’t hear any of it. Not even the mobile we had taken to land; even it floated without a single noise coming from it.

I had almost forgotten that Leon was there until he snuck around me, taking the first step onto the brightened surface. It gleamed against his skin, highlighting features I hadn’t noticed since we were kids.

His nose was pointier than I remembered and his cheekbones didn’t look as sharp now that so much light was finding every corner of his face.

I smiled for a moment, almost forgetting why we were here in the first place. That smile dropped.

I took a step onto the ground, whipping around behind me from the sudden noise of the door closing behind me. When I turned back around, Leon was there chuckling from my startled look.

I ignored it and walked past him. It wasn’t a large star, which was why it never seemed to be visited by anyone besides us. It only took a few extra steps before reaching the edge of it.

A gradually fading flow of light surrounded the star, showcasing the countless amount of others all around us. This was our favorite one because it gave the perfect view of everything we could have dreamed of, but particularly the moon.

That was one thing I missed while on Earth, being able to see it so close when dancing through the galaxy—or even just when at home through my bedroom window. Earth was beautiful, but it could never top something like this.

The craters were so much deeper and full of life. I remembered when we were younger that I would bet Leon that I could even jump through the stars and reach it. Leon never let me try, but now I saw why and how that was impossible.

Watching it from here was perfectly fine. I enjoyed it just the same.

“You remember back at the height of everything? When I was back home before my mission was supposed to end?” Leon voiced calmly behind me. He reached my side and sat down.

I looked down at him, considering if I should keep standing or not too. I decided to sit down.

“Yeah, you finished it way quicker than father expected.” There was a sense of glum to my own voice. I didn’t want to just sit here and look back at all of his accomplishments again. I could even feel my anger start to bubble back up.

He shook his head. “No.”

My eyebrows crinkled, averting my gaze from the moon and to his face now. “No? What do you mean?”

He exhaled a large breath while still fixated on our sea of stars instead. He had a look of defeat along his features, making me even more confused.

“No, that’s not what happened. That’s just what I said happened.”

“What do you mean? The mission was completed. Father even said so.” I rebutted almost defensively. Did he lie for the sake of Leon? Was the mission even really completed?

“It was completed, but not by me. Father sent in Callisto and Kepler to finish for me.” He paused as he adjusted his hair out of his eyes. “I was taken off the mission.”

I turned to face him in bewilderment.

“What?” I couldn’t believe it. I felt like I was in the middle of a joke, waiting for the punchline. But it didn’t look like the punchline was anywhere near.

He nodded his head. “I got taken off because I met someone, too. Her name was Mathilde and we were in France at the time. I think it was about 1901.”

He hadn’t looked me in the eye yet besides a brief glance before he finished his sentence. There was so much going on in my head at once. So many emotions at once. I couldn’t even pinpoint what came first or what was the strongest of the bunch.

He continued. “Father still doesn’t know. I think he was suspicious at first, but he never dug deep enough to figure it out completely.” He shrugged his shoulders, a mild slump in his back now formed as he glared ahead.

“So what actually happened? Why did you get kicked off?” I gaped with wonder. It felt like puzzle pieces were finally getting put together. Leon really was just Leon. He wasn’t any better than me, he was just better at hiding it.

He finally looked at me. There was a sadness in his eyes. I think it was guilt.

“It was mom actually. And I forfeited my spot in the mission. I had to, it would have cost us too much if I stayed on. I knew I wouldn’t have been able to separate myself from her if I was still on Earth.” I swore I saw a tear begin to collect at the corner of his eye.

Could he cry, too?

“What about mom?” I immediately questioned. I wasn’t even mad anymore. I was too curious. It felt like a wall finally came tumbling down, granting me a sense of relief.

“She found us. Well, she had come down to check on everything. She was too excited to wait for my return home and wanted to see it herself. But…” He trailed off for a moment.

“But what?”

“But I was with Mathilde. Mom tracked us to Bois de Vincennes, a park we went to often. She told me about how they had just had the summer olympics there the summer before. It was beautiful.” His eyes were ahead, but I could tell he wasn’t looking at the scenery in front of him. He was reminiscing on the memory.

“What did she say? Was she upset?”

He shook his head again, looking down at his feet and then back up to me. “No. Disappointed, but she never made me feel bad about it. She was glad I was happy, but she’s the one who convinced me to take myself off the mission. I knew she was right, too. That was the hardest part.”

I hummed in thought to myself. “And that was it? You just went back home and never went back?” I felt my palms grow sweaty, imagining that reality for myself. There was no way I would be able to forget Aurora or not see her again.

His nose twitched as he bit against the inside of his cheek. “Kind of. I had one final evening with her before I could muster up the courage to leave. I wasn’t allowed to mention me leaving. She never found out why I left and I never found out what happened to her afterwards or how she reacted.” The tear that had came and went was now back and falling down his cheek this time.

“You never thought to go back?” I asked him.

“All the time, but I knew I couldn’t. Sixty years had passed on Earth by the time I was sent on my next mission, and it was in Turkey. I was scared to know if she was alive or not.”

“Wait, there’s a place named Turkey? Isn’t that a bird?”

“Harry—.” He let out a breath.

“Sorry.”

“Anyways.” He continued. “I just wanted you to know that I get it, okay? I would have given anything to tell her goodbye or at least explain. She didn’t know what I was, so I couldn’t. I was too scared.” He opened his mouth to say more, but quickly sealed it again.

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t think I could say anything. I didn’t know what to say.

He found his words again. “I want you to have that. You deserve it. That’s why we’re going back down.”

My heart stopped. “What?” I was in dismay. I even considered insanity. There was no way. “Right now?”

He shook his head, a wide grin spreading across his face where the tear still stood. I couldn’t resist my own.

His face grew stern again as he stood up. “Only this once. Only to say goodbye.” He extended his hand for me to grab me up.

He looked so tall as he stood in front of me. He was the brother I remembered growing up, before he was put on a higher pedestal than me. He was just my brother. He was just Leon.

“Okay.” I said as I reached for his hand. “Only goodbye.”

#harry styles au #harry styles fanfic #Harry styles fic #harry styles x yn #Harry styles x you #Harry styles x oc #Harry styles wattpad #one direction #1d #harry styles fic rec #harry edward styles #harry styles one shot #Harry styles writer #Harry styles wattpad fic #Harry styles angel au #Harry styles alien au #harry styles sci fy #solo harries #Harry styles edit #Harry styles masterlist #Harry styles writing #Harry styles imagine #hs fic #hs fic rec #Harry styles 2022 #hslot #wattpad Harry styles #Harry styles angst #Harry styles fluff #soft harry

[wonderlandficarchive]

supernatural au

demon

demon!harry series by @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy 

angel!reader & demon!harry series by @harryhoney-bee 

tales from the modern incubus series by @gurugirl 

sensitive wings blurb by @harryforvogue 

angel!y/n is pissed off at demon!harry & he knows just how to fix it by @harryforvogue 

the abyss by @harryforvogue 

new rules by @honeyskins

y/n catches harry stealing blood and things get messy by @jawllines

- part two

vampire

chiaroscuro by @moonchildstyles

vampire!harry concepts by @erodasfishtacos 

you’re someone i just want around series (ongoing) by @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy 

beauty & the beast series (unfinished) by @jarofstyles

werewolf

werewolves exist, harry hates y/n, & niall eats a lot by @jawllines 

- part two: werewolves still exist, harry hated y/n, and niall’s tired of explaining stuff

blurb by @jawllines

werewolf!h blurbs by @erodasfishtacos 

werewolf!h oneshots by @erodasfishtacos 

a/b/o

alpha!h & omega!y/n series by @harryhoney-bee 

nest by @moonchildstyles

harry and y/n hate each other…but things change by @jawllines 

alpha harry helps innocent y/n in her first heat by @jawllines

- part two

alpha!harry finds a scared, confused, & recently turned omega!y/n by @jawllines

mermaid/siren

deep end series (on going) by @heyyyharry 

y/n didn’t know mermaids exist & harry can’t stand humans by @jawllines

- part two and part three

witch

citrine series by @moonchildstyles 

the witching hour by @moonchildstyles 

harry and y/n are witches, they hate each other, & something’s coming by @jawllines 

- part two and part three 

alien

alienrry series by @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy 

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic rec #harry styles werewolf #harry styles vampire #harry styles mermaid #harry styles abo #demon #witch #alien #werewolf #vampire #abo #mermaid #harry styles supernatural au #harry styles au #au

[starshapedkookie]

At the End of the Day

summary: You and Jungkook have been best friends for 8 years, going through absolute hell and back together. After senior year of high school, you and Jungkook began a tradition of taking annual vacations together during the summer months. This summer is no different, with you and Jungkook celebrating graduating college just a couple months prior. You're set to move to NYC after the summer, with you and Jungkook soaking in the sun and as many moments as you can together. You'd think nothing could ever tear your friendship apart with him, but when you've sat on the beach for too many days in a row watching him surf, you can't help but wonder - when did your best friend get so hot?

➢ pairing: jungkook x female reader

➢ genre: high school friends to lovers, ex-baseball player jungkook, beach/vacation au, fluff, smut, a little angst

➢ warnings: language, angst, use of edibles, drinking, graphic depictions of smut (fingering, fem. receiving oral, light choking, dom-ish(?) jungkook, protected sex, obscene use of term baby) also i know that in the little mood board i created, the girl is a teeny white girl & i don't want to alienate any of my poc readers at all - i just thought these pics fit the vibe so take them with a grain of salt 😊

➢ word count: 13.3 k

➢ mini playlist: at the end of the day by wallows, satellite, late night talking, carolina by harry styles, no angel by beyonce, ICE (we should do drugs) by labrinth, unusual you by britney spears

posting this in honor of BTS' 9th anniversary. i think i will be sad about their hiatus for the next few days, but i know amazing things are coming for them. bts has saved me more than anyone could imagine - and this story feels like a love letter to jungkook. i hope you all enjoy.

∞

You’re secretly watching him through your sunglasses, bottom lip tucked between your teeth in your observation. The sun’s rays are hot and you should probably reapply your sunscreen, but you can’t budge in your chair. From this distance, he probably thinks your eyes are still focused on the open book in your lap but that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

You’re not exactly sure when Jeon Jungkook became so sexy. It was definitely a slow burn of growth and puberty overtime, still shocked that your best friend of 8 years looked like this now. Muscles covering his body; leaned out and defined just enough. His hair cut immaculately after a few rough stints of trying to grow it long the last two years of college. Multiple piercings in his ears and you can’t even get started on the eyebrow and lip piercing he’s gotten in the last six months. Tattoos—god his fucking tattoos—covering the entirety of his right arm; shoulder to hand. The only thing that remained the same about him was his goofy personality and lame attempts he called jokes. 

When you had first met Jungkook, he was 15 and you were 14, only a few months younger than him. High school orientation is where you met to be exact. Perhaps out of privilege, both of you ended up at the same private high school—nationally ranked for its academics and sports. It’s not hard to guess what you were there for and what he was there. Jungkook was one of the shyest people you had ever met at the time. You’d later find out that he was scouted by the high school’s baseball coaches to join the program. He was skinny like a tree branch, had a black bowl cut, and a nose too big for his face. You don’t know exactly why the two of you ended up becoming best friends but either way, you were grateful that he was in your life. 

It’s just now, your friend just happens to be insanely hot and more confident than ever. Like you’ve said, you’re not sure when this transformation happened or how you were able to ignore it for so long, but goddamn—

You quickly shift your gaze away from Jungkook as he begins to make his way back to your chairs from the water. Your focus goes back to the pages of your book—a contemporary beach romance—very fitting for your vacation to the beach this year. Jungkook makes his appearance as you’re adjusting your sunglasses, setting down his surfboard on the sand with a thump—a hobby he’s picked up in the last couple years. 

You bring a hand up to further block the sun as you smile up at him, “How’s the water?” You ask. 

A playful smirk slowly spreads across his face and you soon regret your words when he leans over you, shaking his head of hair like a dog. 

“Jungkook! Quit it!” You yelp at him when the cold water its your skin, holding your book out to protect its precious pages. He laughs, clearly proud of himself—you having to make a conscious effort to ignore how his abdominals contract with each suck in of his breath. 

“It’s alright, waves are pretty easy today,” he says running a hand through his wet hair to get his bangs out of his face.

“Just be careful out there, please,” you tell him like it’s a warning. 

“Yeah yeah, I know,” he pauses as he takes a long drink of water. “How’s the book?” He asks as he sits down in the chair beside you, throwing on his pair of sunglasses. 

You gulp, almost not even hearing his question. 

“It’s cute,” you say, book marking your page and setting it down on the towel that’s between you two, “Kind of repetitive though.” 

He nods once before looking away from you, outstretched beneath the sun, “All the books you read are the same,” he chuckles, shoving his feet into the sand. 

You narrow your eyes at him even though he can’t see you behind your shades, “I’d beg to differ,” you tell him, “Just because I like romances with happy endings doesn’t mean they’re all the same,” you defend yourself. 

He glances at you, a smile playing on his lips, “Sure.” 

“Fuck you Jeon, when’s the last time you’ve even read a book?” You challenge, “The last textbook you ever had to read in college?” 

He makes a hum in not-so deep thought, “Probably,” he shrugs and you roll your eyes with a laugh escaping your lips. Though Jungkook doesn’t voice it, he likes hearing you laugh. “This reminds me of the first trip we took,” he adds in. 

You hum in agreement, a small smile forming across your face. 

Both of you then lay in silence as you pick up your book again, soaking up the sun and sound of waves crashing a few hundred yards away from you. Silence is never awkward between you two. It hasn’t been for years at this point. You enjoy his company enough that there’s no need to talk to each other constantly. You know everything about him and he knows everything about you—minus the minuscule crush you’ve developed for him overtime. It’s innocent really; Jungkook was your best friend, funny, attractive, and you talk to him nearly everyday. It would be abnormal if you didn’t feel a twinge of something beyond friendship with him occasionally. 

At least, if you tell yourself that enough; you’d hope it would be true. 

As you peak at him again over your sunglasses, he’s closed his eyes in relaxation, and you begin to think about the journey that’s led you to this very moment. 

After you and Jungkook made it through high school, both of you happened to receive scholarships to the same university in the city. You on a nearly full-ride academic scholarship and him on baseball scholarship. Though right before both of you shipped yourselves off to university, you two decided to take an unplanned long, beach weekend trip back to his home in Busan. It took quite a bit of convincing for your parents to ultimately let you go on a trip with just Jungkook alone. Though after Mr. and Mrs. Jeon explained that they had two extra bedrooms in their beach house and you two were ensured you had to check in with whatever you decided to do, your parents caved. You’re not even sure you and Jungkook would call it a vacation now, but at the time, it was so fun. So fun in fact that both of you decided after that trip, you two would continue to take summer trips together after the school year ended. 

Throughout your semesters at university, both of you worked part-time jobs despite your busy schedules to save up for your trips. Jungkook usually worked more hours in the Fall, given his baseball schedule in the Spring was more demanding. Yet you two somehow always made it work. The year after freshman year, the two of you went to Seoraken National Park for five days, hiking and taking multiple dips in the hot springs. After sophomore year, you both decided to save a little more and fly to Tokyo, though staying in the absolute most-dirt cheap hotel you could possibly find. 

It’s after this summer where Jungkook’s life completely fell apart—every time you look at the scar on his knee, a chill is still sent down your spine. You remember the day so vividly—an open scrimmage in the Fall with the rival university in the city. Of course, you went to support Jungkook with your roommate Lisa, excited to see Jungkook officially play as captain—an unheard of accomplishment for a junior on the team. You’ll never forget the scream he yelled out as soon as he slid into the home plate, the opposing catchers cleat getting twisted up under Jungkook’s knee. He rolled onto his side, clutching his leg in agonizing pain as the crowd watched in shock. 

Jungkook had torn his ACL and MCL, as well as multiple smaller ligaments and muscles in the surrounding area of his right knee. In a fucking scrimmage, he would say through anger, frustration, and tears. The injury was career ending and that was the only time you’d ever seen Jungkook cry in your years of friendship. Jungkook had gone from someone who was expecting to be drafted in the first or second round, to someone who had lost their baseball scholarship and a fucked up knee for the rest of his life. Jungkook almost didn’t even finish school after that, though through the pressure of his parents and you, he walked across the graduation stage with you less than two months ago. You were proud him, star baseball player or not, though you know it’s something he still struggles with to this day even if he doesn’t voice it. 

After Jungkook’s knee had healed through physical therapy and other treatments, he ended up working more hours and working with little league teams in the city for extra money. By the end of the Spring semester, both of you had saved up enough money to where it was feasible to pretty much go wherever you wanted. You settled on flying to Europe, doing a two week excursion that was exhausting—but worth every penny you spent. There had been some squabble on that trip between the two of you and a third party, but the last thing you wanted was to think about that. 

Now you’re sat on Jeju Island with him, enjoying every moment you can get with your best friend before your life changes forever. Through countless hours of working, volunteering, and two internships, you had landed a dream job of being an editor in New York City. You weren’t due to move until the Fall, but the prospect of not seeing your friends and family made you extremely sad. It’s also why you’ve realized that whatever feelings you’ve harbored for Jungkook, must be kept secret deep within your body. It wasn’t reasonable to act upon them when you would be leaving—you wouldn’t ruin your friendship and leave Jungkook here in that way. 

“Earth to Y/N?” Jungkook’s voice knocks you out of your long reverie. You hadn’t even read a full page of your book as it’s still on the page you folded in the corner earlier. 

“W-what? Sorry,” you snap out of it, turning to him as you put your sunglasses on your head. 

“I said do you wanna head up soon? Make some dinner? Watch a movie tonight or something?” He asks. Your heart strings pull at the domesticity and you’re nodding before you even speak. 

“Yeah,” your expression is soft, “Though you’re in charge of the cooking tonight. I’ve done it the past two nights,” you warn him. 

He smirks, digging around his beach bag for his t-shirt to pull on, “Fine. Only if I get to pick the movie we watch.”

“Hey! That’s not fair!” You pout. After he pulls his shirt on—which you’re thankful for—he reaches over to pinch your thigh in retaliation. You jerk in reaction, “Asshole.” 

He laughs again, both of you beginning to pack up your things. Though you don’t voice it, you love hearing his laugh. 

∞

Jungkook prepares a small array of yummy dishes—tteokbokki, a chicken stir fry, cucumber salad, and of course a side of kimchi. Neither one of you had been to the store since you two arrived to the island on Sunday, so there wasn’t much else to work with now on Friday. You make a mental note to create a new list and go again tomorrow, still having another week of your two week trip. The cottage AirBnB was small but had everything you two needed for the vacation. A kitchen, dining room, living room with a pullout couch (that wasn’t being utilized), a bedroom with a king bed which even had a small balcony that overlooked the beach. You definitely lucked out in terms of booking the AirBnB on the quieter side of the island, having most of the beach to yourselves the last few days. 

“Excuse me?” You’re laughing as you look at Jungkook dumbfounded from his words. 

His mouth turns up in the right corner as he smiles, “You heard me,” he remarks, “We should do drugs.” 

He carries on his task of drying the pan he used for the stir fry, looking at you with a kink in his pierced eyebrow. You narrow your eyes at him, leaning against the counter as you watch him, fighting your own smile. 

“And where are you going to find drugs on this island?” You say pointedly. 

“Sweetheart, you know I have connections,” he retorts back, putting the pan back into his respectful cabinet. If there was another thing that Jungkook did to turn you on; his cleanliness. He was the most organized man you had ever met—unsure if he was actually part of the male species given the track record of your other guy friends. He was cleaner and more organized than you most of the time. 

“You’re ridiculous Jeon,” your roll your eyes, “Can I trust said drugs?” 

His smirk spreads even wider, knowing that he’s got you now. 

“Of course, Yoongi wouldn’t sell me anything sketchy,” he says quickly leaving the kitchen. You have no idea who this Yoongi guy is, but you go along with it. You cross your arms as you lean against the counter, your eyes drifting off to the beautiful sunset over the water. You felt lucky to spend your time like this with Jungkook. He quickly comes back, a plastic bag in hand. 

“What is it?” You ask him curiously. 

“It’s a chocolate chip cookie edible,” he pauses, holding up the bag as he observes it, “Think of it as a two for one; dessert and a high.” 

You let out a laugh through your nose, grabbing the bag from him as you inspect it from the outside. As with any edible, it looks just like a normal cookie. You purse your lips, thinking about it for a moment. You hadn’t got high in awhile—since right before graduation actually. You and your roommates shared a nasty bong, with Lisa ultimately keeping it after you all moved out. You and Jungkook had your fair share of getting high together, whether it be at parties at the baseball house or his apartment on Sundays with his roommate Taehyung. 

You open the bag, sniffing it as Jungkook watches you, clearly amused. You break off a small piece of the cookie, plopping it into your mouth knowing it will take at least an hour for you to start to feel the effects of it. It tastes good, although there’s still that tinge of THC that never goes away fully with baked edibles. 

You walk up to Jungkook, shoving the bag into his chest, “I’m going to shower,” you announce. He nods, biting his lip as you walk away from him, his throat feeling slightly clogged. He watches your frame as you disappear into the bathroom, calling after you quickly. 

“Don’t use all the hot water!” He says from the kitchen, digging in the bag to take out his own piece of the cookie. Maybe this would help him clear his head from you. 

∞

You’re giggling uncontrollably as you scroll through your phone, small cackles coming from you lips occasionally. 

“Y/N stop! Give me that!” Jungkook reaches over, attempting to take your phone away from you, but his own laughter taking control. 

You and Jungkook had decided to forgo the movie, opting to enjoy the balcony attached to the bedroom. It was well past 10 PM now, the sun fully set and a couple small candles and the lamps from the bedroom the only light sources. For whatever reason, both of you had been on a path of looking at old pictures of each other, you hysterically laughing at one of them from high school when both of you decided to go to the school dance together as friends. You were mainly laughing at the way he styled his hair, even then at 16 you thought it was ridiculous. 

“I don’t even know why you still have that picture,” he mutters in defeat on his side of the couch. 

You furrow your eyebrows at him as you push his leg with your foot. He’s sat up, right leg underneath him, head resting on his hand as he looks at you. You’re laying on your back, legs outstretched over his lap. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” You push, “I think I have every known picture of you thanks to your brother.” 

It’s the truth—you had more baby pictures of Jungkook on your phone than you did of yourself. He was just too damn cute and awkward. You and Jungkook’s older brother had a good relationship throughout the years, Junghyun, always making sure to send you gems of your best friend when he found them. They looked similar, though Jungkook pulled more features from his dad, including the big eyes and big nose, whereas Junghyun looked more like their mother. 

“God I can’t stand him,” he groans running a hand through his freshly dried and showered hair. He’s wearing a pair of sweatshorts and a t-shirt, his tattoos disappearing in the darkness. You’re wearing a tank top and sweatpants, feeling much better since your shower, even better since your high has kicked in. 

“This was a good idea,” you completely change the subject, not even really sure of your own words. 

He smiles at you, “I’m full of good ideas Y/N.” 

His smile make your heart thump, unable to keep your mind from going there. Your intrusive thoughts only took over when you were intoxicated. You stare at his lips a little too long before you look at your phone to change the song playing lowly from Jungkook’s bluetooth speaker. 

The thing about being friends with someone of the opposite species for so long—it’s that your friends could barely hold themselves from being shitheads sometimes. It was sophomore year—right before Jungkook’s accident—when you were at one of the many baseball parties you attended throughout college. While you were drunk, you knew that succumbing to truth or dare was your own doing. You should have seen it coming from a mile away when a mutual friend and teammate of Jungkook’s—Park Jimin—dared you to kiss him. If you had been more sober, you probably would have just taken the bitch cup and moved on with your life. Though being drunk and a little too curious after your years of friendship with Jungkook, you turned to him and pressed your lips against his. He—along with the entire group seemed taken aback at your actions—hearing whoops and ooo’s during the kiss.

Neither you nor Jungkook spoke about that after the party. It was almost as if it had never happened. It didn’t bother you too much given you were drunk and being silly. It was a brief kiss, no tongue, but enough to satiate your curiosity. At least at that point in time. Now, your curiosity was getting the best of you in other feats—though you’ve sworn to yourself you wouldn’t ever cross that line. 

“Do you ever think about life in like, ten years?” Jungkook suddenly asks, his gaze off to the distance over the balcony. From the cottage, you could faintly hear waves still crashing. 

“Hm,” you mumble, “I guess? I don’t know…” 

He looks over at you, “I do,” he says simply. 

“What does the Jeon Jungkook think about then?” You press, deciding to sit up some on the couch. You grab a pillow to support your back as you settle against the armrest of the couch. 

“I think about being married, having kids, that sorta thing,” his voice is low, yet serious. Through your hazy gaze, you bite your lip nervously.

“That’s very adult of you,” you try to lighten the mood with a giggle. He doesn’t laugh, only returning a fainted smile. 

“Do you not?” He looks away from you sounding rushed and little nervous, picking at loose skin along his cuticles. 

You suddenly feel a lump form in your throat, pulse uneasy, anxiety rises in your veins. Of course you did. 

“I mean yeah,” you offer weakly, “I guess I’ve just always been more concerned with the present,” you tell him honestly. 

He nods, fully understanding—it’s how he used to think too until his accident. He never truly had to put much thought into his future until that day on the field changed his entire life. His future was set and then suddenly it wasn’t. Now, he worries about his future everyday and where life is going to take him. He thought he was going to play professional ball until his thirties, making enough money that he’d never have to worry about a real job. Turns out, life had other things in store for Jungkook. And with you leaving thousands of miles away; his life really wasn’t panning out how he thought. 

“I like the idea of marriage you know?” He says with a hidden adoration in his tone. You find yourself softly smiling at him. “Like just having that one person for you, sharing a life together, does that sound stupid?” he exhales heavily after his question. 

You quickly shake your head, “Not at all,” you say pulling your legs to sit criss-cross, “We’ll all get there one day.. I feel like our paths are set for us.” 

He shrugs, feeling a little pessimistic, “I don’t know,” he breathes heavily, “I thought everything was going to work out a certain way… but I don’t know anymore,” he sounds defeated and sad. You look at him concerned, though you’re sure he’s just spitting high word vomit. You know a lot about Jungkook, but you’ve never heard him speak of such things—except during his relationship with Park Chaeyoung. 

Chaeyoung was Jungkook’s first serious relationship in the time span you’d known him. They met at the end of sophomore year, but only officially began dating at the beginning of junior year. While Chaeyoung was beautiful and smart enough to make you feel insecure, you weren’t her biggest fan. She kept her distance from you and you don’t know if you could exactly blame her. You were Jungkook’s best friend who happened to be a female. You want to say if you were in her shoes that you wouldn’t care who was Jungkook’s best friend, but you’re not sure could 100% say that. 

You first realized that Chaeyoung wasn’t particularly fond of you when you met Jungkook at the hospital after his accident; waiting to confirm his surgery date and time. Even though Jungkook didn’t want you to go, you were the one that actually ended up leaving to not make Chaeyoung uncomfortable. Throughout the rest of junior year, tension built between you and Chaeyoung, and some distance grew between you and Jungkook. You’re sure that she never knew about the kiss you two had shared the year before; she would have freaked the hell out. 

Jungkook was in love with Chaeyoung though. He fell hard and he fell fast—giving all of his love and extra time to her. You can vividly remember him talking about how he thought she could be the one. He was a hopeless romantic at heart but it’s when Chaeyoung told him he couldn’t go on the Europe trip you two had been planning for months that he finally stood up to her. It didn’t go over well, with her jealously taking over to the point where he broke it off with her a couple weeks before you two departed. 

You thought that the trip was going to be good for him to get his mind off her but when they were consistently communicating behind your back, that’s when arguments throughout the two week trip conspired between you and Jungkook. Finally, with four days left of your trip, he decided to stop contact with her and everything between you two only went up again from there. 

Though right here, right now; you can’t help but think his words are about Chaeyoung. You knew that they were acquaintances this past school year and always cordial when they saw each other. You suddenly feel insecure in the dim light, but you plaster a fake smile on your face to rid your mind of Jungkook and his ex.

“Don’t sound so doom and gloom Jungkookie,” you push yourself up and over to him, trying to make him feel better. You sit on your knees up next to him, pinching his left cheek between your fingers. He giggles but you don’t stop, pinching from his cheek to his chin, to his ear. 

“Y/N I swear to god—“ are his last threatening words that you should have taken seriously because it’s not long until you find yourself being tickled to death by him. 

“Jungkook! Stop!” You laugh, trying to fight yourself away from him, but his grip is too strong as he keeps you in place against the couch. You’re kicking your legs to try to get away from him as he attacks your side with his own chuckles filling up the space. To any outsider listening in, it probably sounds like a fucked up murderer situation.

You don’t even realize what’s happened until you open your eyes fully, Jungkook pinning your wrists down, his body hovering on top of yours. He’s stood with one leg on the ground, his bad knee resting between your legs on the couch. It feels like the world has stopped as you stare into each other’s eyes, your breath hitching in your throat. Jungkook has to make a conscious effort to not stare at your cleavage rising up and down as you breath in and out heavily. 

“I-I might go to bed soon,” you say nervously, breaking eye contact with him to unraveling yourself from his grip. He rises as you do to give you space, wiping his hands on his shorts. 

He nods, “Me too,” is all he says. 

You leave the balcony to go brush your teeth and change into your pajamas. Jungkook stays behind to blow out the candles and turn off his speaker, feeling a heaviness between you two now. As he turns the bed down, his own hands are clammy, his high waring off faster than he would like. Both of you had no issue sharing the king bed when you booked the AirBnB a couple months ago, but now he’s fully regretting that decision. When Jungkook comes back from the kitchen with two glasses of water for you both, he finds you already climbing into bed in your cute matching, purple PJ set. 

“Thank you,” you smile at him as he hands you the glass. You take a sip, feeling cotton mouth arise from the edible. 

He climbs into bed soon after, turning off the lamp on his side of the bed encasing both of you in pure darkness. 

“Goodnight Y/N,” are his last words that evening. 

“Night Jungkook,” you say weakly as you’re facing away from him on your side. While you two have already made invisible boundaries when sharing the bed this past week, you make more of a conscious effort than ever to keep space between you two as you both drift off into sleep. 

∞

It’s been a few days since your edible escapades with Jungkook. Both of you have seemingly moved on from the conversations had, the tension that had built up subsiding over the next few days. Now you two are back again at the beach in your normal routine. Jungkook’s just go out in the water from surfing and you’re laying on your tummy, starting the second book of your vacation. You decided to go with something different for you—a thriller about a writer brought in by another author’s husband to finish her books for her as she lies in a coma. Weird. 

You know Jungkook’s back from the water when you feel water droplets scatter across your back. You look up from your book to find Jungkook sat down on his towel beside you, rubbing his right knee. 

“You okay?” You ask him with concern. His major surgery scar is still less than two years old, therefore it’s still quite white and reflective in the sunlight. 

He glances over to you before nodding, “Yeah I’m good, it’s just kind of stiff from surfing on it so much.” 

You can’t help but feel an extreme amount of sadness when you watch him massage his skin. Your resting your chin on your hand as you study him carefully. From the moment you met Jungkook, baseball was his complete identity. It’s why people came up to him even if he didn’t want the attention. It’s what taught him discipline and hard work ethic. It’s what made him happy. The fact it was taken away from him so quickly terrifies you. You can’t even imagine the internal battles he’s had ever since that fateful day. 

“Swim with me?” He suddenly asks. 

Through the top of your sunglasses you glare at him, a groan leaving your mouth, “Jungkook you know how much I hate swimming in the ocean.” 

He rolls his eyes at the dramatics, “Y/N there aren’t sharks in this part of the ocean,” he laughs. 

You close your book not wanting to lose your place, “You don’t know that!” You retort. 

He laughs again, this time ruffling your hair slightly, “I’ll protect you…” he trails off, a small pout crossing his features, “Plus it’ll make this feel better,” he’s referring to his knee. 

Ugh, he really knew how to convince you. 

You then agree, both getting up at the same time. You adjust your bikini to which Jungkook stares shamelessly. Your skin goes hot and you pretend you don’t see him doing so. You walk side by side to the water, a yelp leaving your lips when you feel how cold it is. 

“Fuck Jungkook! It’s cold!” You whine as he continues his descent deeper. You’ve stopped at where the water hits your ankles, he’s at his knees. 

“C’mon princess,” he whines back and the nickname gives you butterflies, “I’ll drag your ass in here if you don’t move woman!” 

“Ugh,” you spit, “I’m coming,” you slowly walk towards him as he continues to walk deeper until he’s about to his chest, finally letting himself float against the waves after he gets over where they break. 

“Y/N,” he says threateningly as you’ve stopped where the water hits your waist.

“Jungkook,” you respond but suddenly your heart sinks when he dips his body below water, disappearing beneath the surface. Your eyes widen as you look around paranoid. You know exactly what he’s up to. Though you’re expecting it, you have no time to brace yourself when Jungkook has suddenly grabbed your leg, pulling you beneath the water. You’re screaming, bubbles escaping your mouth until you reach the surface. 

Jungkook has broken the water only a few inches from you as he laughs loudly, tipping his head bad. You push water towards his face, anger filling your body. 

“Fuck you Jungkook!” You yell, his continuous laughter pissing you off even more. 

You launch at him in the water, hiking yourself up onto his back as punishment. You wrap your legs around his torso and he adjusts you comfortably. If he was going to protect you, he really was going to protect you. 

“I really hate you sometimes,” you mutter into his ear, his back rumbling against your chest as he chuckles. 

“You love me,” he retorts. 

You really do. 

“See this isn’t too bad,” he then says looking over his shoulder to meet your gaze. 

“We’re sitting ducks Jungkook,” you mumble, eyes looking around the water, still slightly paranoid. There’s a few other people in the water and a couple surfers which makes you feel a little better. 

“It’s okay to get out of your comfort zone you know,” he raises a brow when you climb off his back, deciding to swim close in front of him. Both of you float with only a few inches between you two, water at your chests. 

“Mhm,” you say sarcastically, “That’s what they all say before they’ve gotten their leg bit off,” you move your arms around to keep you wading. Thankfully it didn’t take long to get used to the chilly water. 

He bites his lip as he watches you with an amused expression. You push away the way it makes you feel. 

“You know that’s why I wanted to be your friend right?” 

You furrow your eyebrows, moving to float on your back. Jungkook being the gentlemen he is, he ends up beside you, his arms giving your back some support in the water as you float. 

“What do you mean?” You ask him. 

You can’t see his expression as you’ve closed your eyes, the sun too bright to keep them open. His fingertips graze your skin every few seconds and you swear it feels like electricity running through your spine. 

“You’ve always been the one to get me out of my comfort zone,” he points out like it’s obvious—though you’ve never had an inkling of this. 

You open one eye at him in a squint, his face a lot closer to yours than you expected, “I don’t think so,” you laugh a little awkwardly as you give up on floating, settling back to your normal swimming position with him in front of you. 

“I wouldn’t lie Y/N,” he laughs in return, “You’ve known me for a long time, you know how fucking weird I used to be.” 

“Hey you weren’t weird,” you defend him, “Just a little awkward and going through puberty.” 

He rolls his eyes, “Fucking weird,” he repeats, “I just mean I’ve never had a friend that’s always pushed me to do things I normally wouldn’t do. Hell just the vacations we’ve taken together is just one example,” he pauses, his next words cutting him a little deep, “I feel like you’re the reason I ever had a life outside of baseball.” 

You bite your lip under the water as you don’t break his heavy eye contact. You’d never realize Jungkook thought that highly of you. It makes you feel giddy on the inside, but also a little sad that you were never that confident in your abilities as a friend. If anything, you thought Jungkook brought you out of your shell more. 

“I’m just a small part of your life Jungkook,” is what you settle on. 

They way his face falls doesn’t go unnoticed, “Trust me,” he pauses beginning a swim back to shore for you to follow him, “You’re a pretty big part Y/N.” 

∞

It’s now Friday, which means you and Jungkook only have one and a half days left of your trip. The thought makes you sad, though you know that it’s not like you wouldn’t be seeing Jungkook afterwards. He lives in the same neighborhood as you for chrissakes. But given the loom of your impending move in a couple months, you couldn’t help but feel a finality of your life here coming soon. 

You and Jungkook had gone out a couple times since being here, though neither of you had fully committed to getting too drunk. You had a feeling though that tonight you were ready to full let loose. Jungkook complimented you as soon as you were ready to leave, sending heat through your body. You were wearing a white two piece set—a small bralette type top with a matching mini-skirt that wrapped around your waist nicely. Your strappy heels gave you some height to Jungkook and you’re sure to any other tourist, you two looked like a couple. 

Jungkook looked absolutely ravishing, the familiar lump of the past couple weeks forming when you laid eyes on him. He was dressed in an extravagant short sleeve button that was a yellow and white along with white pants to tie everything in. You almost laughed one, being you’re 99% sure the shirt is Fendi—how the hell did he afford that?—and two, you’re not sure you’d seen him in anything in sweatpants and t-shirts since graduation. Even then, it took you and Taehyung a lot of convincing for Jungkook to wear dress pants under his cap and gown. 

You and Jungkook had ate dinner at a local sushi bar, getting a couple drinks there to pregame your evening. You don’t know how Jungkook ate and drank so much and keep the figure he had. It had to be genetics; there’s no other way. 

It was now a little past 9 and both of you were feeling drunk—a good drunk—a happy drunk. The bar you two were at was partially outside, with a dance floor and good drinks. You and Jungkook are talking to a couple who also happen to be on vacation. 

“Honeymooning is fun for sure,” the woman says, her words a little slurred, “Are you two honeymooning too?” 

Both you and Jungkook begin to stutter, shaking your heads awkwardly, mumbling your words together. 

“We’re not together,” you manage to get out as you lean against the bar for stability. Jungkook’s stood behind you, his chest touching your shoulder as his arm sits behind your frame protectively. 

The new husband’s eyes widen, “Could’ve fooled me,” he says, “Right honey?” 

“I agree Joon,” she eyes you up and down, clearly shameless as she does so. “Let’s go dance baby!” She suddenly exclaims. The couple—Namjoon and Camille—bid their farewells to you and Jungkook, leaving you two alone again at the bar. 

You suddenly feel a little awkward under the strangers gaze, looking up and over at Jungkook. He’s giving them a straight smile before his eyes watch them walk away, an amused expression filling his eyes as he begins to laugh. 

“You want another drink, honey?” He suddenly asks through a joke and you crack a smile, turning around to playfully push him. You catch a whiff of his scent as you stare at him intently, trying to ignore the deep stir of heat in your tummy. His gaze his vibrant as you take his sunglasses tucked from his shirt and place them over your eyes. 

“If you’re paying Jeon,” you smile at him wickedly. 

Jungkook orders both of you tequila shots, both of your faces scrunching up when you bite the lime for some relief. You have chills running down your spine, trying your best to keep the contents down. 

“We’re going to be hurting tomorrow,” you say, sliding the shot glass back towards the bartender. 

“I don’t even want to think about it,” he groans, suddenly reaching out to grab his phone. It’s buzzing in his hand, “It’s Junghyun,” he looks at you, “I’ll be right back?” 

You nod, telling him you’d be right here. You watch as he walks away from you, a deep exhale escaping you. You’re intoxicated again—intrusive thoughts taking over your brain. You reminiscence over the last two weeks with Jungkook here. He makes you so incredibly happy and you’re sure that if you let yourself, you’d fall deeply in love with him—more than you already are. You’ve been through thick and thin together. You can’t let yourself go there though—it couldn’t happen. The friendship you two had between each other was too important to you. You’re not even sure Jungkook could even feel these feelings towards you. For all you know, he was just talking about his shitty ex the other day. 

Your thoughts are interrupted when suddenly a man appears in front of you. A man that’s not Jungkook. He’s leaning his elbows on the bar as he waits for the bartender to take his order. He gives you a glance and you stare shamelessly. He’s quite attractive, that’s for damn sure. 

“You want a drink sweetheart?” He suddenly asks, the pet name not sounding as good as it does coming from your best friend. 

You find your voice over the music, “I’m good, thank you,” you smile at him knowing if you drink anymore, you’d be crossing the line of fun drunk to a miserable blackout. 

He nods respecting what you’ve said, ordering two shots of whiskey for himself. You look around the bar trying to find Jungkook. It’s loud and crowded, but you haven’t been able to spot him in that ridiculous yellow shirt. You wonder what Junghyun needed that’s taking so long. 

“What’s your name?” The strangers asks you as he turns his body to face yours completely. 

You lean towards him some to save your voice, “Y/N,” you tell him. 

A charming smile spreads across his face, “Well miss Y/N, why is a beautiful girl at this bar alone?” 

You’ve dealt with many men of this caliber, so his words don’t creep you out much. Internally you applaud him for using the term beautiful, and not the typical hot or pretty. 

“I’m not alone,” you tell him. He looks around the area you both are, your point not withstanding, “What’s your name?” You change the subject. 

He downs his second shot of whiskey, “Jackson. It’s nice to meet you,” he offers his hand graciously and you shake it in return. 

“Well Jackson,” you pause, feeling that tequila shot getting to you, “Why are you here at this bar alone?” 

He laughs, raising an eyebrow at you, “I’m not alone either,” he retorts. 

You nod slowly, a small smile spreading across your lips. Again, your eyes do another dance around the bar to spot Jungkook to no avail. 

“Do you want to dance with me Miss Y/N?” He suddenly asks taking you completely off guard. You open your mouth then close it, only to open it again to say nothing. You should say no. You know in your heart you should say no. However with no sign of Jungkook and this Jackson guy seeming like a normal guy, you felt no guilt when you take his hand for him to take you to the dance floor. 

The bar has great club and house music playing, making dancing an easy feat. Jackson is a great dancer, finding the rhythm to the songs easily as the DJ switches them rapidly. You find yourself comfortable with him, resting your hands lazily on his shoulders as he guides you through the motions. Maybe you’re too drunk, or you’re just relaxed, but you feel good in this moment. It reminds you of being a college freshman with Lisa, when you two would go to sweaty frat and baseball parties, dancing the night away with water bottles filled with cheap vodka. 

The tide between you and Jackson folds when you turn around, unknowingly pressing your back to his chest. You both are swaying in the changing lights, his arms resting on your waist protectively, his head resting on your left shoulder. You’ve always been a decent dancer too, Jackson finding it impressive as you keep up with each other. When you find a hand gripping at Jackson’s hair pulling him closer to you, it’s when reality hits, time freezing in that very moment. You’ve opened your eyes after sometime, across the bar Jungkook walks in, his eyes finding yours instantaneously. His lips part, a painful expression crossing his features. He watches you only for a moment, his heels turning himself around to leave you be, heart feeling like someone’s crucifying it. 

You suddenly panic, creating immediate space between you and Jackson. You turn around and lean up to his ear. 

“I’m sorry, I really have to go—“ you tell him in a rush. He’s clearly confused but before you can listen to whatever he has to say, your feet pick you up to the path Jungkook must have taken to get out of here. It’s difficult to get through the crowd of people, especially in your heels and drunkenly, but you manage. 

When you go to the outsider area of the bar, you don’t spot him. Shit, you think, where did he go? You start to panic, reaching for your phone out of your purse. You quickly scroll to his name, hitting the call button. You groan with an eye-roll—of course he isn’t going to fucking answer you. 

You’re not completely sure he’s not in the bar anymore, but you chance it, leaving the bar alone. Thankfully the streets are well lit and there are plenty of people around to make you feel safe. You’re typing him a mean text as you walk back towards your cottage, ready to curse him out when you see him. That is, until you actually see him—then your mind goes blank. 

Jungkook’s sat on the curb of a small, local convenient store eating what seems to be an ice cream sandwich. You’ve got to be fucking kidding. 

“Jungkook!” You nearly exclaim, “What the hell are you doing?” You approach him, stumbling slightly in your heels. 

He quickly notices how unstable you are, standing up to steady you, “You okay Y/N?” 

You push him off you, “No the fuck I’m not okay,” you spit at him, “You just left me there?” You’re drunk and frustrated, that’s all you know. 

“Here,” he offers the rest of his ice cream sandwich. You can’t resist him and you take it, eating it in two bites. He watches you carefully before saying, “Sorry, I just thought you were preoccupied.” 

You throw away the paper wrapper, looking at him like he’s crazy. 

“Are you for real Jungkook?” You press, not caring if you’re bringing attention to the two of you as people pass by. He shoves his hands into his pockets, exhaling heavily. 

“You want to go home?” He asks with straight lips. You cross your arms over your chest angrily, what the hell was his problem? 

“Do you want to go home?” You ask him in retaliation. 

He only looks a you a brief moment before nodded slowly. This conversation is seriously sobering you up faster than anything has ever before and nothing productive has even be said. 

He turns around, “C’mon,” he says. 

“What do you mean?” You ask him confused as he’s widened his stance, as if he’s ready for you to plow over him. 

“Hop on Y/N,” he says, “And don’t even try to fight me on this. I know your feet are killing you.” 

He wants to piggy back you home. You stay put, hands playing with each other awkwardly staring at his back. He glances over his shoulder and says your name again. 

“B-but your k-knee Jungkook,” you say hesitantly. You knew Jungkook weight lifted and did enough cardio for him to live until he was 105, but the last thing you wanted was for him to injure himself again, especially because of you.

“It’s fine Y/N, I promise,” he says, “I just want to get you home.” 

As you brace yourself on his shoulders, you try to jump as light as possible to lessen the blow to his body. He catches you gracefully, adjusting your knees in his hands. And home is where you two go. 

∞

After you two walk into the threshold of the cottage—you insisting on walking the last little bit of the way—a parable tension that could be cut with a knife has settled between you two. You tried your best to talk to him on the way back, but his answers were short and uninterested. You only had remnants of your drunkenness left inside you and if anything, you were tightening back up, even angrier than when you left the bar. 

Jungkook’s about to walk into your shared bedroom before you call after him. 

“Wait Jungkook!” You say. He stops in his tracks, turning to look at you. His face is unreadable in the dim lights of the cottage. “What the fuck happened back there?” You ask him as you take off your heels, leaving them by the couch. 

“It’s nothing Y/N,” he brushes you off, turning around to continue his path to the bedroom. Of course you follow him; he expected it. 

“Jungkook, come onnn,” you press, “Are you that pissed that I was dancing with someone else?” You can’t hide your anger and frustration if you tried. This wasn’t fair to you. He had paraded girls throughout college— parading Chaeyoung for a year and a half in front of you—and you never said anything about it no matter how much it bothered you. 

“Y/N it’s fine, can we just,” he pauses as he looks over at you, “Just drop it?” He’s taking off his rings and bracelets, your lip tucked between your teeth. 

You make an unsatisfied noise, stepping closer to him, “No we fucking can’t. What’s your problem Jungkook?” 

He leans on the dresser with both hands, his muscle definition showing through his shirt as he tenses up. His jaw clenches as he closes his eyes in deep reverie. You watch him carefully, knowing you probably should tread lightly given he’s pissed. But you know what? You’re pissed too. He can’t act like that with no explanation—that’s not fair to you. 

“Junghyun called me about you, you know,” are his first words as he looks over to you. 

“M-me?” You stutter, confusion lacing your tone. 

He pushes himself off the dresser, though he keeps distance between you two. He suddenly runs a frustrated grip through his hair, messing it up slightly. 

“You know, since you’re moving halfway across the fucking globe,” he sounds bitter, though deep dejection is mainly what you hear. You moving had been a sensitive topic with him ever since the interview stage happened with you months ago. It hurt you to speak about it with Jungkook the most. The thought of leaving him crushed both of you which is why neither of you had brought it up these past two weeks. 

“He was asking me if I had done it yet,” he laughs sarcastically, “Of fucking course he was.” 

You’re more confused than ever and you say his name in a whisper, but he continues. 

“You know the other day when you said that you were only a small part of my life, that’s when it really hit me,” he pauses, “You really don’t know how much you fucking mean to me Y/N. You’ve been my best friend for so long, been there with me through so much of my bullshit—my accident, losing my scholarship, losing my fucking life—“ he inhales deeply and you suddenly feel dizzy, unsure of where this conversation has turned.

“—And now I’m fucking losing you and I can’t even be honest with you because it doesn’t matter,” his voice breaks off as he looks at his feet. You start to panic, a roller coaster of emotions pulsing through you. 

You step towards him hesitantly, “Jungkook you can always be honest with me,” you grab his forearm, “I’m your best friend for fucksakes—stop with the hysterics and just tell me what’s wrong,” you plead with him. If your words weren’t enough, your eyes were giving a show. 

His bottom lip trembles as he meets your gaze. You have adrenaline running through you as he moves to rest his hands on your waist, gripping the skin tight. 

“I love you Y/N,” he says letting out a deep breath before he can second guess himself. 

“I know,” you tell him, “Jungkook you know I love you too.. you’re scaring me—“

“No Y/N,” he shakes his head, “I’m in love with you—like fucking crazy about you Y/N.” 

His words take your breath away, stumbling slightly as you can’t believe the words he’s saying. He’s what? Jungkook’s in love with you? You part your lips, unable to form sentences, shaking your head stunned 

“You don’t have to say anything,” he looks down, his forehead brushing yours, “But I couldn’t let you move without telling you—I don’t know how long it’s been but it just happened one day and I haven’t stopped since.” 

“Jungkook,” you finally whisper after some silence, your palms finding solace on his broad chest, “I-I don’t know what to say,” you pause looking up through your lashes. You feel like you could cry from the up and down of your emotions. 

You both stare at each other, unsure of who is going to make the next move. You decide that it will be you. 

“B-but when we talked the other night about the future and stuff… I thought you were talking about Chaeyoung,” you admit, feeling a little dumb now that this secret has been spilled. 

Jungkook lets out a laugh, unsure he heard you correctly, “Y/N—what, no, I haven’t spoken to Chaeyoung in months at this point,” he pauses, his strong hands gripping your forearms gently, “I was talking about you.. it’s always been you.”

There’s a silence that falls; a war raging in your head as you go through as many memories as you can with Jungkook. He’s been there for you at any moment you’ve needed him and vice versa. You couldn’t imagine a life without him and right now—you’ve finally decided in allowing yourself to be honest. 

“Y/N I know this is unfair since you’re leaving but—“

“I love you too Jungkook,” you interrupt him to which he responds with a mellow what, “I know that I’m in love with you Jungkook—I have for some time now, I just didn’t want to admit it.. I-I was scared and I didn’t know how to bring it up, fuck I’m sorry—“

You’re suddenly cut off with Jungkook’s lips covering yours. You instantly melt into his lips as your eyes close, your hands finding their way around his neck to pull him down to you. After a few moments, he pulls away from you, rubbing his nose against yours. 

“Is this real?” He asks, a small smile playing on his lips; all anxiousness leaving your body at once. You return a small smile, nodding in his delicate hold. 

“Real,” you whisper back, chasing after his lips once again. 

This time when your lips meet his, it’s more aggressive from each side, pouring out all frustration and built up pining over the years into it. His tongue opens your mouth wider and you sigh into him, tangling your fingers into his soft hair. His hands slither down from your waist to over your ass, pressing your hips into his. 

You’d never thought kissing someone could feel this good. Your entire body feels aflame as you both discover each others mouths piece by piece. Jungkook’s walked you backwards against the wall, holding you up against it firmly as you both continue to kiss each other feverishly. You rest your head against the wall as his lips move from yours to your neck, your breathing intensifying as he kisses and nips gently. 

“Jungkook,” you breathe heavily, as he places a kiss on your exposed shoulder, moving the flimsily strap to your top down. You get bolder with your own actions, maneuvering your hands underneath his shirt feeling his muscles tense under your touch. 

His lips find yours again, “I wanted this for so long Y/N,” he mumbles against your skin as you pull him taut to you. “Remember sophomore year? When you kissed me for that dare?” 

“Mhm,” you murmur in response as his hand experimentally trails its way up to cup your left breast, “How could I forget?” You tell him through a slight whine when he squeezes you through the thin material of your top. 

He smirks against your lips, tugging on your bottom lip ever so slightly, “I was so happy when you didn’t drink that bitch cup,” he admits. You can’t help but giggle at his words, one of your hands resting on the back of his neck to hold him close to you, “And this is much better than that.” 

You nip at his mouth again, “I agree,” you pause, your other hand playing with the buttons on his shirt, “Can I take this off?” You ask through your lashes; your voice soft and patient. 

Jungkook emits deep groan from his throat, “Is this okay with you?” He suddenly asks. 

You immediately nod, “Yes, yes, of course,” you begin your slow assault at his shirt buttons, undoing them one at a time. 

He kisses your forehead, “Okay… I just,” he pauses, “I’m just a little nervous,” he admits as he grapples at your waist again, pulling you flush against him. He’s got a growing bulge in his pants, making your squeeze your thighs together. 

“Why are you nervous?” You gaze at him with stars in your eyes, finding everything about him endearing and so lovable. 

He rests his forehead against yours, “I don’t know I’ve just thought about this for forever,” he pauses, “I want you to feel safe.” 

You smile sweetly at him, “I always feel safe with you Jungkook,” you tell him reassuringly. You lean forward, placing a kiss on his exposed chest when you finally undo the last button. You waste no time pushing the fabric off his golden skin, tattoos and all on fully display. 

“When did you get so hot?” You pout in between his kisses along your neck and collarbone. He chuckles into your skin, his hands now exploring both of your breasts through the fabric. 

“I’ve been wondering the same with you,” he kisses right between your cleavage, his fingers finding the zipper at the back of your top. 

“Please—“ your breath hitches when the cold air makes your nipples taut as he drags your shirt away, “Have you seen yourself?” You’ve barely finish your sentence until Jungkook’s lips are wrapping around your right nipple, sucking and teething at the sensitive. 

“Have you seen yourself Y/N?” He mumbles into your skin, paying attention to your left nipple now. “My pretty girl,” he breathes out pulling away from you, sending a fire through your veins. He grabs your hands and pulls you towards the bed not too far from the wall. 

You straddle him as you reconnect your lips together, rutting against him as your hips grind down. A shiver of pleasure runs through you, a subtle moan vanishing in his mouth. 

“Fuck,” he says, “Do that again, I like hearing you.” 

You chuckle, kissing near his ear, “Make me,” you challenge. Jungkook bites his lip, the grip on your hips tightening. 

Being as competitive as he is—it’s a challenge he’s willing to accept. 

Jungkook is suddenly flipping you two over, settling between your thighs, tits shaking as you readjust yourself. You spread your legs a little so he can sit comfortably on his knees between you, his bulge more prominent than ever, straining in his white pants. Your mouth literally waters as his hands push up your skirt, exposing your skimpy little lace thong that’s barely covering your cunt at this point. 

“Goddamn,” he gulps at the sight, his eyes flicking to yours quickly as your chest rises up and down in anticipation. You’re already so turned on—so wet just for him. If it was any other guy, you’d probably feel embarrassed but you were telling them truth when you said you felt safe with him. 

His tattooed hand slides down to your inner thigh, a couple of his fingers running over your clothed heat. Your hips cant outwards as he does this a couple times before he decides to ultimately pull your panties off, leaving them strung across the room somewhere. 

You hold his gaze as he spits onto his fingertips, now finding your bare pussy exposed for him in all its glory. He doesn’t waste time in dipping a finger inside you to test the waters. When your mouth falls open, he takes it as a good sign when you start to beg him for more. 

“Jungkook please,” you push out your hips, trying to get the most of one finger though it’s no use. “I need more,” you whine. 

He leans down, placing a kiss to your lips, “I know baby, I know,” you gasp when he adds in another finger, a steady strong of moans escaping you when he begins a gentle rhythm in and out of you. It’s torture the way it feels so so good, yet it’s still leaving you wanting more. 

He gets a hold of your right leg, holding it up slightly so he can penetrate deeper inside with his fingers, his thumb rubbing up against the hood of your clit. 

“Hold yourself open for me baby,” he says to which you obey, holding onto the side of your leg just as he was, “Good girl,” he praises you, which creates even more slick arousal. 

From here, he takes one of his hands to pull your clitoral hood open, using his other to circle your bud and enter your pussy in alternating motions. 

“Ah, shit—“ your hips jerk against him when you begin to feel yourself start to climb that hill to an orgasm. Your continuously moaning was sending him mad and your glistening cunt was a full invitation for him. 

He shifts his weight, his lips meeting your center to which your back arches off the mattress, a strained whine from you as he flicks his tongue over your clit. It’s obscene the way he gives you head—it’s hot and messy, little to no friction as he goes from focus on your hole with both his fingers and mouth, to sucking heavily on your clit. You could feel yourself dripping on the sheets underneath you, the wetness making Jungkook involuntarily push his cock into the mattress. 

“Jungkook—I’m gonna come,” you manage through your tight breaths. 

“Yeah baby?” He muses against you, the vibration of his voice sending a shockwave through your already swollen clit. You nod desperately into the bed, holding his head down with your left hand as your hips chase to meet his movements. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” chants fall from your lips when you feel yourself tip over the edge, falling heavily into an orgasm that overtakes your entire body. You don’t even care if you’re loud as you moan and rile beneath him, your pussy clenching around his fingers before he pulls them out to watch your cunt clench around nothing. 

“God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he marvels as you come down from your high, your body clearly relaxed now as you find time to catch your breath. You lean up on your elbows as he meets you halfway to kiss you again. He tastes like you as he tongues the inside of your mouth carefully. 

You scoot your body down some, hands finding the front of his pants. You can tell he’s big just by running your hand over his cock through the clothes. He inhales a sharp intake of breath when you squeeze him a little. You break your kiss to focus on getting him out of the fabric, unzipping and unbuttoning his pants quickly. You take notice of his white Calvin Kleins as he helps you push them down past his ankles. 

In a rush, you tug down the front of his boxers—breath hitching in the back of your throat. He was big—the biggest you’ve ever seen—thick and long between his muscular set of thighs. 

You whine when you take him in, never experiencing a want for someone so badly in your entire life. 

“Can I please suck it?” You whisper, your words sounding like sweet saccharine to his ears. As tempting as that sounds for him, he wasn’t sure how long he would last with you, and he needed to be inside of your pussy when he came.

“Not right now baby,” he says firm in his tone, “I want to be inside you so bad,” he sounds just as desperate as you feel. 

You nod quickly as you begin to take your skirt off since it’s still the last piece of clothing on you. Jungkook’s hands stop you quickly.

“No, no,” he chuckles, “Gonna fuck you in this pretty skirt,” he places a zealous kiss on your lips one more time before he suddenly gets up hurrying over to one of his duffle bags. He returns quickly and you watch carefully as you notice him tearing open a condom packet, his abs visible each time he breathes. 

“You brought condoms?” You ask him curiously. 

He smirks as he begins to roll it down over his fully hardened cock, “I’ve been bringing them with us everywhere since we went to Europe,” he explains as he instructs you to scoot back some. The thought makes you feel bubbly on the inside, laughing at him some. 

“So you’ve just assumed that we’re gonna fuck one day then?” You ask him as he settles between you, rubbing his tip against your folds. 

He closes his eyes briefly, before smirking again, “Never assumed, just hoped,” he lines himself up with your entrance, having to fight not to just slam right into you, “I’ll start slow okay?” 

You nod as you grip behind his neck and shoulder with each hand. Once Jungkook begins to push into you, you literally forget how to breathe. Jungkook groans as he bites his lip in full concentration, pushing a little farther. 

“It’s okay, breathe baby,” he encourages, “I know you can take it. My baby can take it, right?” 

He knows very well you can—he just wants to hear you say it in your voice that’s laced in honey and arousal for him. 

You nod faster that you ever had, “God, yes Jungkook I can, yes I can,” you finally find your oxygen as he pushes in slowly to the hilt. Your jaw was slack as his forehead rests against your own, a burning between your legs but pleasurable enough that you begin to involuntarily clench around him. 

“Shit baby, don’t do that,” he warns, “This tight little pussy is all mine, right?” 

“Of course Jungkook—“ he pulls back, then pushing back in, your hips canting upward to help him fulfill every inch inside you. “Oh my god—“ you whimper as he slowly begins to find his pace. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. 

“Yes, fuck yes, Jungkook just please don’t stop,” you beg, “Go faster, please.” 

One of his hands grip your right hip, the other fisting the sheets by your head as he does as he’s told, picking his pace up slowly but surely as the seconds pass. Its blissful heaven having him fill you up so good. You’d never thought you’d be in this position with Jungkook, but as time passes you wish that you two had got around to it a lot sooner. 

With each snap of his hips, your body moves upwards given force. A mantra of noises come from you as you watch his brows furrow from above you, strained groans and breathes escaping his lips. You could feel the simmering of another orgasm approaching you as his perfect stroke hits your g-spot. You grab at his face to steady him; his pace thrown off a bit when you lean up to kiss his lips gently. 

“Let me get on top,” you whisper to him. He tugs on your lip, unsure if he wants to give up control but with you, he’d relinquish any day. He pulls out, leaving you hallow with you quickly pushing him off of you and down to the mattress. His back is rested against the pillows and headboard to which you grab with one hand, using your another hand to line yourself back up with him. 

After you sink down, your arousal making it easy this time—you begin to find a pace against him that’s calculated to hit your insides in all the right areas. Jungkook grips your hips, pushing your skirt up slightly as he marvels up at you, drunk in a haze of you and you only. With uneven breaths, you can tell you’re on the verge of coming again, so he licks his thumb before he places it on your clit. Each touch of your hips presses firmly against his finger, explicative falling from your lips in a rush. 

“God—Jungkook, I-I can’t,” you choke out, squeezing around him tightly as he begins to push his own hips up to meet yours. 

One of his hands makes it way to your throat, pulling your forehead down to his as he takes the oxygen away from you. It’s too much—it’s all too much. 

“Yes baby, you can,” he encourages, “My pretty girl, come with me,” he adds after he begins to hold you in place some, shoving his hips up in a brutal pace to chase his own climax. 

It doesn’t take long for your second orgasm to hit, hit tipping backwards as you let out a half-scream of his name, jumbled together with high pitched moans. It goes on longer than your last one, convulsing around his cock as you lean forward in a daze. 

Jungkook’s close—his lip tucked into his teeth, brows deeply furrowed as he continues his pace up inside you. With a bated breath, he announces he’s going to come and you encourage him just as he did you. He spills into the condom with a whiney groan in submission to you, his movements coming to end an end shortly after he rides his climax out. 

He’s got his arms wrapped around your torso and you cradle him to your chest as you both try to catch your breaths. He lifts your hips slightly to let himself fall out of you, though he keeps you close to him after, looking up at you through a lazy smile. 

You return one to him, meeting your lips to his. The kiss is gentle and love worthy as your heart swells so much it feels like it could burst for the man beneath you. 

You pull away from him, “Can I take this skirt off now?” 

He chuckles before nodding, placing a kiss on your shoulder before you move off of him to discard the final article of clothing on your frame. You climb back into bed after you throw on a slinky tank top and use the bathroom—a UTI was not going to plague you. Jungkook pulls on a pair of briefs, opening his arms up to you once he climbs back in. You cuddle up right next to him, an arm slung around his bare chest, leg over his as he pulls you closer with one arm. The two you mindlessly talk about nothing before you feel yourself drifting off to sleep. The last thing you recall is Jungkook placing a kiss on your head, telling you that he loves you again, leaving little to no space between each other this time on the bed. 

∞

The bright sun is what wakes you up the next morning, a strained mumble coming from you as you stretch out on the bed. You’re halfway on your back, halfway on your side when you open your eyes. You rub them with your knuckles to clear them of any matter. When the room fully focuses, you freeze in your position, stomach dropping a little bit. Your head hurts from the alcohol but it wasn’t enough alcohol to make you forget what happened. 

You and Jungkook had had sex and professed pining love to each other. 

You quickly turn over to find yourself alone in the bed, your anxiety and cortisol levels skyrocketing. You also take notice that Jungkook’s not out on the balcony that connects to the room. You sit up a little too quickly for your headache, taking a moment to steady yourself. 

You grab your phone off the nightstand, checking the time and any messages you have. There’s only a few that you decide you’ll answer later. Nothing from Jungkook. 

You push the sheets and duvet off your frame, hurrying over to your suitcase to pull on a pair of shorts. You quickly make your way out of the bedroom, finding the living and kitchen space empty. Maybe he was in the bathroom? 

“Jungkook?” You call out. No answer. 

You suddenly feel like you’re going to get sick. Insecurity and all other horrifying thoughts cross your brain. Did he leave you here? Did he get scared and go home? Did he really fuck you only to leave you? 

You feel like you could cry as you lean onto the couch for support. You hold back your tears, breathing heavily in and out to keep yourself calm. 

Where the fuck—

The door to the cottage is suddenly unlocked, pushing open to reveal your best friend in all his glory. He’s dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, carrying a brown bag in one hand, balancing two coffees on his arm. 

“Oh, good morning!” He flashes his million dollar smile at you as he sets down all of his belongings on the kitchen island. 

You stand there with a pout, not saying anything to him. He looks at you slightly confused, walking over to see what’s wrong. 

“Are you okay?” He asks with concern, grabbing gently behind your elbows. 

You push at his chest with flat palms, “I thought you left me,” you whine. A smile cracks open as he laughs some. 

“Why would I have left you?” He questions you, “I just went and got us some breakfast while you were still sleeping,” he explains. 

“Well I can see that now,” you push back, “I just thought.. maybe you got scared and left,” you trail off, looking away from him now that you feel a little dumb for jumping to such horrible conclusions. 

Jungkook pulls you in for a hug to which you return it like a kid grabbing onto their teddy bear tightly. 

“I would never do that Y/N,” he says placing a kiss to your head, squeezing you playfully as he sways you dramatically, “I’m kind of offended that you think I would,” he then says with a pinch to your ass cheek. 

“Ow!” You push yourself off of him with a laugh, “Sorry, it’s just,” you chew on your lip when you meet his gaze, “I don’t really know how to go about this whole friends to lovers thing.” 

He pulls you to the kitchen so you two can begin to eat your breakfast. The coffee is great; just what you needed to cure your headache. 

“It’s simple,” he says as he sits down beside you after he’s placed your breakfast sandwiches out. 

“Is it really?” You push through a mouthful of food—gross you know, but Jungkook was the last person to care. 

He quirks that pierced eyebrow at you that just drives you absolutely mad, “Hell yeah. We’re still best friends we’re just gonna have lots of sex now.” 

You look at him stunned before you both are laughing hysterically together. Maybe he is right. Simple. As the two of you eat your breakfast, you can’t help but feel so very happy but also so very sad. The two of you have created a bubble of paradise and it’s going to burst as soon as you get back on the plane to head back home. 

“Jungkook,” you say, turning the conversation serious after you both have finished your meals. He responds with a hm? “I’m still moving after the summer,” you bring it up hesitantly given how touchy it is; but there was no escaping and hiding from the truth. You were leaving; Jungkook was staying here. 

He tenses up in his seat, pursing his lips as he glances over at you, “That’s another reason Junghyun called me last night,” he begins. You look at him confused, asking what he means, “I’ve been thinking about telling you about my feelings for so long Y/N, and I clearly have shit timing,” he laughs ironically, “But Junghyun has known for awhile now—I think before I even knew it but um,” he pauses, “He made me promise to him that by the end of this trip that I would tell you, so he was on my ass about it last night.” 

You smile at him sweetly, resting your hand over his, “Well now you can tell him you kept that promise,” you offer. 

His gaze doesn’t quite meet yours, “Yeah, but that’s not all,” he pauses as you listen to him, “I’ve been applying to jobs in New York,” he admits. 

Your lips part as your eyes widen, “What?” You’re nearly breathless as you ask the question—feeling like Jungkook took a baseball bat to your chest. “Why would you do that?” You press. 

He swallows heavily, “I just, I knew whenever you said you were going there that I just couldn’t not try with you,” he pauses, his gaze looking almost apologetic, “I didn’t want to be four thousand miles away from you so I panicked and started applying for jobs there,” he explains, “I don’t want you to be mad, and I’ve already talked to my family about it and they’re all okay with it,” he says in a rush, “I just didn’t want you to be alone there, whether I confessed my feelings to you or not.” 

He’s chewing on his lip and you can tell he’s nervous. You turn over his palm so you can intertwine your fingers together, giving him a soft gaze. 

“While this has completely caught me off guard,” you say honestly, “I would never be mad at you over this,” you squeeze his hand for reassurance, “Did you really apply to jobs there because of me?” 

He nods a few times before he hangs his head low. You take your other hand and push his shorter fringe away from his face. While you’re positive many more details have to be worked out, that fact Jungkook made this decision makes you feel an amount of butterflies and love you’ve never experienced before. 

“And you’d for sure want to be in New York?” 

He looks up at you with those big doe-eyes that haven’t changed from the day you met him, “I’d go wherever you were Y/N. It could be the worst fucking place in world and I’d go there with you.” 

You lean over, pressing your lips to his gently. 

“I love you.” 

He smiles in return, “I love you more.” 

You pout some, “That’s not fair—no one is allowed to ‘love more’.” 

He kisses you again gently as he pulls you from the bar stool to stand between his legs. His hands squeeze your ass playfully as you try to pull away. 

“Well I can be the exception,” he leans into you, his arms wrapping around you protectively. You roll your eyes, a short laugh escaping your lips.

“You know what this means?” You ask inquisitively. 

“What?” 

“Lots of sex to be had,” you emphasis, “And even more of blowjobs.” 

His eyes widen, his jaw slightly clenching and you swear he whines as he looks up at you, pressing your front to his crotch, “Can we start that sooner than later?” 

You give him your answer through another kiss and moving your hands at the waistband of his pants. God, you think as you take in the already domesticated environment you two have made together, you could really get used to this. Jeon Jungkook was your best friend and at the end of the day—all you two needed was each other and somewhere to go.

#jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook scenario #jungkook drabble #bts #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #jungkook fic #jungkook fic recs #jungkook fanfic #jungkook f2l #kpop #kpop fic #btswritingcafe

[allwaswell16]

All the One Direction fics I read and enjoyed in September 2023. You can listen to my podcast to hear me talk about each of these fics as well as an overview of what was posted on ao3 including the fics on this month’s fic roundup which you can find here! Please let the writers know if you liked the fics by leaving kudos and comments! Happy reading!

Fanfictional Podcast #54 |  ko-fi | fic recs

—Harry/Louis—

🍁 And What If I Were You by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 109k, famous/not famous) For Louis, will losing his sight give him the clarity to realise what is right in front of him? For Harry, will losing the love of his life give him the strength to finally open his heart? And can they find their way back, before they lose each other forever?

🍂 Suddenly Last Summer by @disgruntledkittenface

(E, 44k, mystery) Suddenly he has someone who listens to him and cares about what he thinks. Someone who really sees him. But their happily ever after is forever marred by an incident at a party during Labor Day weekend, and Louis is left with a choice to make.

🍁 Endgame by @brightgolden

(E, 38k, royal au) Where omega Crown Prince Harry Styles is trying and failing to get pregnant for four years, but all that is about to change when courtesan alpha Louis Tomlinson comes into the equation.

🍂 That Howling Infinite by @sweettartine

(E, 27k, uni) the one where Louis and Harry fall in love while reading Moby Dick.

🍁 Might've Took The Long Way by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove

(M, 21k, exes to lovers) Now Harry is back in town, and no matter how many times Louis tells himself they can't be together, they keep falling right back into each other.

🍂 Ace of Hearts by @allwaswell16

(E, 10k, historical) Louis Tomlinson, the alpha Duke of Yorkshire, had returned to England to stay now that he’d married and mated. But since his husband was also the omega he’d once held captive aboard his half-brother’s pirate ship, he held back from pushing Harry into parenthood. Part 3 of Ace of Spades

🍁 Feels Like Magic by crimsontheory / @ireallysawanangel

(M, 10k, Marcel) It's been two incredible years with the best boyfriend Marcel could ask for, but is his biggest fear starting to become a reality? Has it really all been too good to be true? Part 2 of Marcel

🍂 Light Up Any Room by crimsontheory / @ireallysawanangel

(E, 10k, Marcel) Marcel is a little nervous about having to give a speech at the library’s annual charity gala, but thankfully he has Louis right by his side supporting him. And later that night, Louis shows Marcel just how proud of him he is. Part 3 of Marcel

🍁 In Shining Armour of Trackie and Trainers by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 9k, famous/not famous) Online dating isn't exactly working for Harry. In fact, it couldn't really be going much worse. But then the door of the bar opens, and the pack of friends walking in parts and - that’s Louis Tomlinson.

🍂 Court Wine by @enchantedlandcoffee , red_panda28 / @red-pandaaa

(T, 7k, a/b/o) after a misunderstanding during a scrabble game, Alpha Louis starts courting Omega Harry without the latter being aware of it.

🍁 I Remember (The Distances We Covered) by @lululawrence

(NR, 5k, famous/not famous) @ColleenisStylish: @LouisTomlinson my dad thinks he’s sat next to you on a train from Edinburgh right now, so if you could confirm that would be amazing. His name is Harry and he’s just had white wine and says you’re on red

🍂 U-Pop Truck Stop by @kingsofeverything

(E, 4k, truckers) After driving their big rigs all day, Harry and Louis park at the same truck stop.

🍁 Eyes so blue, Shorts so red by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense

(G, 2k, alien Harry) Alien Harry discovers poetry.

🍂 Tongue Tied by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf

(G, 1k, roommates) “I wish that I could tell Harry that I love him, instead of getting all tongue tied and chickening out.” The Irishman winked. ��You never know, your wish may just come true.”

🍁 Enemies to Lovers by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(G, 1k, poem) There's something happening at Styles' place. Louis can sense it. He's good like that.

🍂 My Muse by skipper / @skipperxao3

(NR, 1k, older Harry/Louis) My love, my life, my everything. Until the day I die, you will never cease to be my muse.

🍁 The Lovers by @reminiscingintherain

(T, 1k, tarot cards) “Come inside,” an eerie voice seemed to echo from the darkness. “Come inside, and seek your destiny.”

🍂 Are We In the Clear by asphodelknox / @iamasphodelknox

(M, 1k, historical) Louis and Harry meet across a crowded court at a time when falling in love would mean their destruction. With help from a friend, they run for their freedom.

🍁 Gaydar Lessons by @homosociallyyours

(G, 1k, girl direction) While standing around after softball practice for the company's women's softball team, Harry gets caught (and caught up) in staring at Louis as she eats a ripe, juicy peach. If only she could be certain that Louis was into women.

—Rare Pairs—

🍂 You Are A Song by @lululawrence

(NR, 3k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) To Louis, Nick felt like poetry in motion. He was a bit of chaos surrounding Louis’ otherwise monotonous days, and Louis was quickly becoming addicted.

🍁 bet on it by @nouies

(E, 2k, Louis/OMC) a fic inspired by Louis at the barricade during AFHF

🍂 you are the magic in me by @beardyboyzx

(NR, 2k, Zayn/Liam) Zayn is eight when he meets the Prince for the first time. His dad is being knighted — the King has seen the way he fought to defend his village from the enemies of the Kingdom and has decided to gift him a piece of land and a title.

#28th appreciation #ficrec #trackinghappily #1dficvillage #trackinghome #ficsfor4am #tracksintheam #1dsource #hltracks

[cocoabubbelle]

SCOGUE-Tember/Tober

Hi!

So, I decided to do a little something-something to motivate myself to create art and/or write. Part of this something-something also happens to involve my favorite X-Men: Evolution ship of all time 😚.

I will simultaneously be posting most of these to my instagram (same name as tumblr name) and maybe other sites.

Basically, I will try to create something about Cyclops/Scott Summers x Rogue/Anna Marie each day of or before the end of the month of September.

Will I succeed? Probably not.

Am I going to try anyway? Yes!

I will try to do these spontaneously, but if any of you are particularly interested in seeing one of these art prompts completed, feel free to send me an ask including the respective prompt!

I also might include personal random head-canon/side personal fan project ideas if I have the time, though those may be mostly reserved to my instagram 😅

Whelp! Ta-ta!

* Day 1: [💁‍♀️]

* Day 2: [💇🏾‍♀️]

* Day 3: [🧦]

*Day 4: [🦇]

* Day 5: [ ♂<> ♀] WIP!

* Day 6: [🐻‍❄️] WIP!

* Day 7: [ 9️⃣0️⃣] WIP!

* Day 8: [🗣️] WIP!

* Day 9:

* Day 10:

* Day 11:

* Day 12:

* Day 13:

* Day 14:

* Day 15:

* Day 16:

* Day 17:

* Day 18:

* Day 19:

* Day 20:

* Day 21:

* Day 22:

* Day 23:

* Day 24:

* Day 25:

* Day 26:

* Day 27:

* Day 28:

* Day 29:

* Day 30:

* Day 31:

AU’s! + Canon

- [😁] Civilian/Standard Outfits*

- [🦸🏼‍♀️] X-Men Evolution Uniforms

- [👩🎞️👱‍♂️] Favorite Scene together*

- [👱‍♂️🎞️👩] Favorite Episode*

- [💇🏾‍♀️] Hair Swap AU

- [🗣️] RANT RANT RANT!!*

- [💁‍♀️] Just Feel like Chatting*

- [🧦] Style/Aesthetic Swap AU

- [👗] Regency Era AU

- [☕️] Coffee Shop/Barista AU

- [🌹] Flower Shop AU

- [🧐] Detective AU

- [👹] Gargoyles (TV Series) AU

- [🧙🏼‍♂️] Harry Potter AU

- [ ♂<> ♀] Gender Swap AU**

- [👧👦] Younger Selves AU

- [👩🏾‍🦱🧑🏻] Race Swap AU (Any Race/Ethnicity suggestions?)

- [🦢] Swan Princess AU

- [🐞] Miraculous Ladybug AU

- [🐶] 1900s AU

- [🐱] 20s AU

- [🐭] 30s AU

- [🐹] 40s AU

- [🐰] 50s AU

- [🦊] 60s AU

- [🐻] 70s AU

- [🐼] 80s AU

- [🐻‍❄️] 90s AU

- [🎥] Disney/Dreamworks/Don Bluth/Animated AU*

- [🩰] Ballet AU

- [🦹🏽‍♂️] Villains AU

- [🎓] Private School AU

- [9️⃣0️⃣] 90’s X-Men Cartoon AU

- [🎬] X-Men Films AU

- [🕷️] Spidersona AU

- [🌙] Sailor Moon AU

- [🫀] Alternate Ships not with each other (Canon/Semi-Canon) AU

- [🫶] Alternate Ships not with each other (random Headcanon) AU

- [🕶️] Celebrity AU

- [🏖️/🛟] Beach/Lifeguard AU

- [👽] Alien AU

- [⚡️] Greek/Roman Gods /Demigods AU

- [🪦] Dead/Death AU

- [🍽️] Caterer/Waiter AU

- [🤡] Carnival/Circus AU

- [🧁🥯 ] Bakery AU

- [🥷] Ninja AU

- [🤖] Cyborg AU

- [🎸] Band AU

- [💂] Bodyguard AU

- [🐕] Veterinarian AU

- [👻] Ghost AU

- [⛓️] Fugitive AU

- [💃🕺] Musical AU*

- [👩‍🎤🎷] Musician AU

- [👨‍⚕️] Hospital/ Paramedic AU

- [📈] Coworkers/Office AU

- [🚔] Officer/Police AU

- [🎨] Art Student/Artist AU

- [😙] Fake (OR REAL 👀) Dating AU*

- [💍] Fake (OR REAL 👀)Engagement AU

- [👰🏻‍♀️🤵🏽‍♂️] Fake (OR REAL 👀) Marriage AU

- [🍼] Babysitter AU

- [🐺] Werewolf

- [🧛🏻‍♀️] Vampire AU

- [🌰] Castaway AU

- [👨🏿‍🏫] Teacher AU

- [💈💄] Hairstylist/Makeup Artist AU

- [📚] Bookstore AU

- [😇😈] Angel/Demon AU

- [🎭] Drama Class AU

- [🤜🏻💥🤛🏻] Gang AU

- [👩‍🎓] Students (preliminary X-Men uniforms)

- [👩🏼‍🍳] Restaurant/Waiter/Waitress AU

- [🦯🦽🦿] Blind/Physical Disability/Injury AU

- [🦔] Animal/Anthro AU

- [🧜🏻‍♂️] Mermaid AU

- [🧚🏽‍♀️] Fairy AU

- [👑] Royalty AU

- [🍎] Fairytale AU*

- [🏹] Hunger Games AU

- [🌌] Star Wars AU

- [🪐] Star Trek AU

- [⚓️] Sailor/Pirate AU

- [🌀] DC Universe AU

- [🧝🏽‍♂️] Tolkienverse AU

- [💖] Romance Film (Comedy/Tragedy/Hallmark)/etc AU*

<List is liable to expand>

<Some prompts may be combined>

Again, no guarantee that I can do something everyday, but I WILL give my best effort!

*open to do this more than once.

**open to do prompts with these versions.

#shenanigans #x men evolution #xmen evolution #scogue #scott x rogue #rogue x scott #rogue x cyclops #cyclops x rogue #anna marie x cyclops #cyclops x anna marie #anna marie x scott #scott x anna marie #otp: sensory deprivation #anna marie xmen #rogue #cyclops #scott summers #marvel #xmen #x men #art #art prompt #art prompts #art challenge #send asks #ship #otp prompts #otp #otp ideas #scogue-tember

[jlf23tumble]

Fic Rec Anon - The best fics are deleted?!? No…

Canon, AU, Older or Newer, No ABO, No Mpreg.

Allstars? As in greatest of the greats? Yes please.

I loved Balm that you rec’d and that recent Oli fic. Of Mates and Men too.

Yeah, some of the very best authors have opted to delete, and rightfully so--fanfic is a gift, and if people are gonna be assholes, well, then no gifts! And I fully support any author who makes that move. I tend to download my faves so I can read them later, it just means that when I go look for a bookmark, it's sad to see the whole "this fic was deleted" (paraphrasing) notification..thank god I jot down author and fic name! Anyway, I digress, you have an ask, and I have a rather lengthy answer that I'll put under the cut:

So yeah, I use collections for bookmarks, and two of them are all-stars, the greatest of the great, so this was a relatively easy ask to answer, thanks to past me. The trick was editing back: each collection has close to 100 faves, so I decided to go with a theme. Welcome to the 21 club, I'm going to give you 21 all-star AUs and 21 all-star canons! To cheat, I went with different authors in both categories, and I picked authors whose work I love across the board, so do yourself a favor and go check out everything else they wrote, too--tbh, these were some REALLY hard choices to make!!

CANON

Self-cest, @jaerie, 2k. Is as it says!

Us, Me, We, @homosociallyyours, 2.3k. More self-cest!

No Control, thegirlwthekittentattoo, 2.6k. The bra's name is Christi, with an i!

she makes you want her love, enbyharry/ @non-binharry, 2.7k. BLs can't take this top!harry!

Feel my breath upon your thighs, cuckootrooke/ @larrydoinglaundry, 3k. This happened!

Want It Tonight, @lovingstheantidote, 3.4k. Teach me!

like craters in the moon, orphan_account, 3.9k. Dimple kink!

She Feels so Good, zedi, 4k. Late Late Show antics!

Fertile Ground, blaaake, 4.4k. If you've read Balm, come on!

mon petit, little one, publunchesownmyass, 5.6k. That sweater!

Google Says Cut That Out, littlemousling, 6k. Baby bdsm!

You Don't Need Me to Show the Way, loadedgunn, 6.5k. Tourbus shenanigans!

Only Thing That Can Quench My Thirst, eyesofshinigami, 6.5k. My beloved pubes fic!

One day to believe in you, mediaville, 7.7k. To tell the truth!

no one's gonna know, @jishlerfics, 9k. Oh, they'll know!

give you my fever, beautlouis, 10k. A literal virgin!

Temporary Tattoos, Hotel Hearts, Horizon Homes, teumessian, 17k. The only time travel fic I love!

The bootyverse is expanding series, yeah_alright/ @uhoh-but-yeah-alright, 21k. Every story, a GEM!

yeah, he's a looker, @thedevilinmybrain, 40k. Oli's sex-related errands!

Time Passed, coffinofachimera, 66k. A heart-clencher!

AU

It's About Time, @kingsofeverything, 3.5k. Older and clueless!

With Just One Look, @littleroverlouis, 4k. Vampire Louis!

sensitive to pressure, momentofclarity/ @gaycousinlarry, 4.4k. I want moreeeeeeeee sweat kink!

this is my jam, @disgruntledkittenface, 4.5k. '90s bath house!

Copy of a…, nonsensedarling/ @absoloutenonsense, 5.5k. Return of the clone-a-willy!

Make Me Feel, @bananaheathen, 10k. Can u believe this was mid-omam!

Tuxedo Dress-Up, blaaake, 11k. Hands down, my very fave!

into another (another) serotonin overflow, mercutionotromeo, 11k. So much goin' on!

A Slow and Steady Rush, godots, 11k. The title matches the vibes!

it ain't trickin' if ya got it, sarcasticfluentry, 10k. UNPARALLELED smut writer!

Thought the Song Was Sung, 100percentsassy, 12k. The banter!

Alien Roadtrip!, @helloamhere, 16k. Is as it says!

Ever Since I Tried Your Way, flowercrownfemme, 25k. 1940s dreaminess!

Take Our Bodies Higher, @littlelouishiccups, 26k. Phone sex operator Harry!

Buried Like Treasure, QuickedWeen/ @becomeawendybird, 40k. This heist, plus some Marcel!

hush., wankerville, 41k. The SWOON of this story, holy shit, it's cinematic.

Tied Down, HamPalpert, 48k. This absolutely SHOULD be a movie!

Harry Styles Cooks…, sunsetmog, 61k. A wip that'll never finish, but who cares, god tier as is!

Not That Gone series, abrighteryellow/ @a-brighter-yellow, 66k. High school reunion results!

Turning Page, purpledaisy, 67k. Another movie I wanna see!

#fic rec #one direction #i'm kicking myself because there's one fave of mine that must be in another bucket #but oh well #21 club rules! #some faves #in hindsight maybe i could have done 23 for 2023?? #that'll be a problem for end-of-the-year me

[theficpusher]

you live in my bones and we live in the sun by queenmcgonagall | nr | 1212 the sun and the desert and a map and nowhere to be but with each other.

Baby, I Met You On the Highway by i_amthecosmos | G | 1978 The desert is boring, but an unexpected friend makes things better.

throbs and gleams by thinlines | T | 3728 au. harry rides motorcycle across the country and finds louis in the middle of a desert.

my youth is yours by sapphirestylan | G | 5309 Niall and Harry are uni students who go down to visit Harry's family in southern California over spring break. They leave on a road trip in the middle of the desert, going as best friends and coming back a lot more.

Alien Roadtrip! by HelloAmHere | E | 16378 For the first time in his life, Louis doesn’t know where he’s going. Harry doesn’t mind. OR: roadtrip with desert feelings, too much snack food, and empty motels. Harry is definitely absolutely not an alien. That would be ridiculous.

Cosmic Love by smittenwithlouis | M | 27185 Sudden chills rake over his body yet again, making him stay rooted to the ground. Static in the air makes every hair on his body stand up straight. That's when he notices something a couple feet in front of him lying on the ground. It’s what appears to be a person, weird white beams snaking around them like Christmas lights. Louis' heart rate picks up. Is the person alright? What are they doing here? What the fuck is happening? Or: Louis lives in a small, desert town in the middle of nowhere Texas, yet a strange visitor manages to find Louis among the stars.

Speed Dates and Slow Lanes by zita17 | E | 34652 Overworked drama TA and script reader Louis Tomlinson just wants to make it through the end of the semester unscathed when an impromptu road trip turns his relationship with his best friend and roommate Harry Styles upside down. Basically, this is the story of what happens AFTER a pair of idiots try to become lovers. Co-starring Harry’s vintage Mercedes named Delilah, with cameos by Shakespeare, mix tapes, Denny’s, Walmart, Frank Sinatra, Joshua Tree National Park, Harry’s crocheted bucket hat, and Louis’ mesh tank top.

Have Love, Will Travel by kingsofeverything | E | 97257 Rather than spend the summer working at their desks, Louis and Harry are given the opportunity to crisscross the country together in a tiny camper, filming their adventures for a YouTube series. It soon becomes obvious to their viewers that there’s something more than friendship between them. Eventually, they figure it out.

#deserts #have love will travel #kingsofeverything #speed dates and slow lanes #zita17 #smittenwithlouis #Cosmic Love #HelloAmHere #Alien Roadtrip! #sapphirestylan #My Youth Is Yours #thinlines #throbs and gleams #i_amthecosmos #baby I Met You On the Highway by #queenmcgonagall #you live in my bones and we live in the sun

[amarriageoftrueminds]

Once again imagining a 'The Last Hero' style AU

Where Bucky is the harried care worker chasing down all the geriatric Howling Commandos, who have broken out of their nursing home in order to go and join Steve in one last great adventure fighting aliens in New York. 😭

#stucky #stuckbunny #THC #ficbunny #au idea #pretty sure I posted this once before #bucky being nicknamed 'sarge' by the men cuz he's a vet and that's the one rank their squad is missing #a bunch of old men wanting to go off and fight aliens #where the fuck did dum-dum get a tANK?! #bucky is Not Paid Enough for this shit #dat's me #die hard vibes #but it's aliens and old men #and steve is Smitten with the beefy caveman with a machine gun pushing morita's wheelchair

[nottooldforthisship]

Okay folks, I’m stuck at home with Covid. I haven’t read a new Larry fic in years .

So let’s go, tell me which one I should read (maybe from the last 2-3 years?)

UPDATE WITH LINKS :

(thank you all for the recs ! I’ll update as long as I get them)

- Of Mates and Men :  In which, Louis and Harry meet as best men for their best friends' wedding... well... sort of. Or, the one where Harry's just moved back from New York and Louis doesn't believe in romance. Or, I guess... the one where Zayn and Liam are getting married.

- Darling, so it goes : Harry Styles is a world-famous actor at the height of his career but a personal low point when he meets His Serene Highness Prince Louis of Monaco by chance. He doesn’t think they’ll ever see each other again, but after striking up a correspondence, it turns out they have more in common than he thought. Then they start to fall for each other. Louis is different from anyone Harry has dated before and their relationship moves fast as Harry realizes he’s ready for a change. Soon Harry finds himself adapting to an entirely new life, in a country where he doesn’t know the rules, the customs, even the language. Harry is used to people underestimating him, and he’s more determined than ever to prove them wrong. He just needs Louis to meet him halfway.               Grace Kelly AU.

- love is a word, you gave it a name : After two decades in brutal show business, Louis Tomlinson is trying to restore his tranquility of mind in the peace of Northern Europe where the sun barely sets, Maria’s bar is always open, and young Harry has an irresistible spark in his eyes.

- Bloodsport :   The Unbelievers Story from Harry’s point of view.

- Alien Roadtrip! : roadtrip with desert feelings, too much snack food, and empty motels. Harry is definitely absolutely not an alien. That would be ridiculous.  

- Ace of Spades  : Living as a sheltered omega in a farming village has not prepared Harry for life aboard the most notorious pirate ship to sail the Atlantic.Or Louis is a pirate, Harry is his captive, and no one is who they say they are.

- Beautiful War  : An FBI-Clairvoyant AU

-  Ever Since I Tried Your Way : In 1949 Harry left his bride at the altar, running away from the only life he'd known. When a kindhearted farmer offers him a ride in his truck and a place to sleep the two find themselves inexplicably drawn together. Isolated on Louis' farm with nobody but a field of dairy cows to intrude, the men are finally able to explore the parts of themselves they've spent their lives hiding away.

- Truebonds  : Or the one where Louis is an omega in need, Harry is an alpha for hire, and destiny presents them with a fate they never saw coming.

- Full Moon Dreaming : Every month, Full Moon Dreaming reveals a person’s soulmate. Sometimes it’s an object or a place, or for the lucky ones, the love of their life.Louis has given up hope of dreaming of a person, resigned to living a life devoid of that kind of all-consuming love for another and receiving the same in return.But when a new neighbour descends on Louis’ beloved Hanson Bay and moves into the other beach house, could all that be about to change?

- No Hold to Hold Onto : Injured after being thrown from a bronc, Harry doesn’t know if he’ll ever compete again. His only hope is a man called Tommo, a world champion rider who retired at the top of his game. When Harry goes looking for help learning a new way to rope and ride, the last thing he expects to find is love.

- All Your Mates Are Here  : Like every werewolf does when they get to a new town, Harry joined one of the many local packs when he started university. Now, three years into his program, he's hit with the news that his pack is giving up, going their separate ways. In the wake of the holidays, the three single wolves from the Majestic pack are pointed in the direction of a new pack to join; one that's got struggles of its own.A new pack, a new house, and two new roommates with personal space issues... Plus exams, of course.

- In A Twinkling : Featuring Niall and Liam as Louis’ childhood friends, Harry as the painfully perfect man of Louis’ dreams, Zayn as Harry’s very protective best mate, Louis’ Nan as a well-meaning matchmaker, and Louis as a guy who thinks he’s happy with his life, until a certain someone shows him what he’s been missing.

- Nothing But You On My Mind  : Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

- From Dust to Lust  : From the moment Louis set eyes on the gorgeous stranger across the airport terminal, he knew the guy was trouble, which was the last thing he wanted. He wouldn’t have thought spending two days cooped up in a car travelling from the Australian Outback to the East Coast would change his mind. It’s funny how things work out.OR the one where Louis and Harry are fly-in-fly-out mine workers, coincidences are totally a thing, karaoke is an underrated form of foreplay, and the universe most definitely works in mysterious ways.

- Tired Tired Sea     : As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

#please Rec me

[not-alien-girl-v]

Navigation

Facts:

side blog to: @alien-girl-violet

taglist form

fun facts about me

she/they

i go by violet or audrey

requests are always open

pink haired biatch

evan peters masterlist

talk to me dm me for any reason i love random conversation lol

feel free to reblog i appreciate it sm

time zone: PST

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

* signifies smut

My Favs:

Long Way Home (Matty Healy)

Taking a long drive with Matty through the city, you start to recall the story that first brought you together

Disconnected (Matty Healy)

Post sex fluff, bantering with Matty when he asks you if he’s the best you’ve ever had

Vecna Baby (Eddie Munson)

HEAVILY satire Eddie Munson x reader requested by my sister (go check out her blog btw)

To Us! (Clink Clink) (Matty Healy x Alex Turner x OC)

Chapter 8 of my self insert, Perfect Places. Matty and Alex have a threesome with my band mate, David on my living room couch. It’s graphic and it’s funny. Read it for a laugh

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ: *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

The 1975

New Girl AU

How I Picture the Characters

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

George Daniel

Valentine’s Day

Take My Breath Away

Beside You

She Looks So Perfect

Heartbreak Girl

Lost in Reality

Broken Pieces

Ross Macdonald

Lover

Kiss Me Kiss Me

End Up Here*

Caramel

Matty Healy

Long Way Home

Everything I Didn't Say

Disconnected

Mrs All American

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

My Babysitter's A Vampire

Benny and Rory x Fairy!Reader

Rory Keaner

R-Dog

Self Harm HCs

Never Be

Benny Weir

Drunk Walk Home

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Misc

Cooper Day

Pissed

Fluff Alphabet

Doing Harm

Besties

Eddie Munson

Vecna Baby

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Harry Styles

Vampires Will Never Hurt You

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

First Fic I Ever Wrote (if u care)

𝙍𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙄𝙣𝙛𝙤

𝙊𝙥𝙚𝙣!!! 𝙄 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙡𝙪𝙛𝙛 + 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩 + 𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩 + 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩

𝙄 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙔/𝙉, 𝙪𝙣𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙖 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙚 + 𝙙𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 / 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚, 𝙄 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙜𝙡𝙖𝙙𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙞𝙩.

𝙎𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙪𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙖 / 𝙖𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙘 / 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙧𝙪𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙞𝙩. 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜.

𝘽𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮, 𝙢𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙣, 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙄 𝙢𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙡𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢, 𝙄’𝙢 𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙖 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙤 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜!

𝙎𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨𝙠 𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙙𝙢 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩!! 𝙄 𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙢𝙠 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪 + 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙚𝙭. 𝙛𝙡𝙪𝙛𝙛 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮, 𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮, 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧.

#fanfic #evan peters fanfiction #masterlist #tate langdon #tate langdon x reader #kit walker #kit walker x reader #kyle spencer #kyle spencer x reader #jimmy darling #jimmy darling x reader #james patrick march #james patrick march x reader #james march x reader #kai anderson #kai anderson x reader #ahs #ahs fanfiction #american horror story #american horror story fanfiction #mbav #my babysitter's a vampire #mbav fanfic #my babysitter's a vampire fanfiction #rory keaner #rory keaner x reader #benny weir #benny weir x reader #ethan morgan #ethan morgan x reader

[kwritingbooks]

cowritten by me & @shroombloomm

read on wattpad or tumblr masterlist

Aurora has a lot to think about while Harry is gone, but just because he's gone now doesn't mean he won't be back soon. Which also means that she can't hide away from the issues at hand forever, especially when that familiar knock on the door rings out. But maybe it won't be as bad as she keeps telling herself...

AU: star-being!harry x astronomy-student!aurora

AURORA'S POV

It would be a lie to say the last few days were easy, or that I was able to pretend it didn't happen. The truth was, while some of it was foggy, not enough of it was for that to happen. None of the parts that I would have preferred to forget were misplaced in memory at all. Not the look on Harry's face when I saw him over Brandon's shoulder, not the aggravation from Nina, and not the touches I allowed Brandon in the first place either.

I didn't even know why I did it. Or why I allowed it to keep going. The regret had yet to fully subside even afterwards. It also didn't help that Nina had given me her version of silent treatment the night of. She didn't say much to me unless she needed to, but there wasn't much she needed to say besides helping me get to bed. I was pretty sure I had even started crying at one point, mumbling about how I fucked things up between everyone and how stupid I was to go to the party.

Nina just shushed me to sleep, saying that we would talk about it in the morning when I had sobered up. Which we did. She seemed more put together then and less annoyed with me, too. As long as she wasn't holding a grudge over me, that was all that mattered in the moment. She never was upset for long, which I was eternally grateful for. Sometimes I didn't fully deserve it, but that never seemed to matter.

I even remembered instinctively reaching for my phone once I woke up more, hoping to see a message from Harry. Some kind of acknowledgement had to have been better than nothing. Until I remembered that he had left for the next few days back to his planet. I tried not to think about what he could possibly be thinking, but he was probably too preoccupied with his star duties anyway– whatever that meant.

Instead, the only messages I received were texts that I had the least amount of energy to deal with. They were from Brandon from last night, rambling different cursing variations slewn together from his obvious drunken state. It was hard to piece together completely what he was trying to say, but it was obvious that he was angry that I got up and left him for Harry. Actually, most of the insults were directed towards Harry, messily explaining how Harry would never give me what I needed whereas he could. Most involved the size of his dick.

That was probably the first time I had truly laughed since that night. The blocked and deleted buttons had never been so easy to press.

She had breakfast cooking, but she said I had to get out of bed to get it. It took awhile to muster up the energy over the hangover, but I think that was part of the punishment, whether on purpose or not.

Regardless, once I did get up, I didn't eat much. The blaring headache in my skull was too powerful to focus on anything else besides fighting the urge to vomit all over the countertops. That was how I ended up spending the majority of the rest of the day. While she ran errands, I tried my best to sleep it all away. I wrote off the sunken feeling I felt in my chest as another inevitable symptom of binge drinking, but when I woke up the next day sober, I realized that that wasn't at fault of the alcohol at all.

I knew I should've used the time I had proactively. I also knew that my door was supposed to be fixed yesterday and that it was safe to go back, but it was as if I physically couldn't. Astro barking to go outside for a walk was the only reason that I found myself leaving the house on my own accord.

That was how I spent most of my time while I was at Nina's. It started off being sick with a hangover and meddled with a slip of depression in the midst. I think Nina had definitely noticed, because she was kinder than her already normally-kind self was. She made sure I still woke up for classes, ate beforehand, and was clean enough to go out in public. If it was anyone else besides Nina, I would've gotten annoyed– yelling that they're not my mom, but there was no way I could be annoyed by her. She was just trying to help, and if it wasn't for her help I would've stayed in my stumper for that entire time.

It did eventually get better, and luckily that feeling didn't completely devastate me for too long. Though, it was still hard to fight against the feeling that I hadn't truly messed up everything. Mistakes were bound to happen for anyone, and hopefully Harry would understand that. We were just friends after all.

I was still nervous about him coming back to Earth today, though. I had spent most of the morning going over what I would say when I first saw him. I didn't know there were so many ways to apologize until that moment– swearing none of them felt right. Nina reminded me that I was thinking too hard about it and that I was beating myself too much over it.

"Just say what feels right, don't force anything else." She had said as she came around the corner in the kitchen. She must have heard me talking to myself, whispering "sorry" in one too many different ways.

"I think he'll understand. Just be honest." She continued after I didn't say anything. She could probably tell that she had taken me by surprise. I was too absorbed in the pancakes and eggs that I was cooking that I didn't realize she had woken up.

The smell of which only seemed to riddle me with more guilt, reminding me of earlier in the week when Harry had done the same for me. Maybe that was why I went for that option out of instinct, it felt like the perfect reciprocation for him to come back to his second home with. I even added blueberries inside for the special touch.

I turned my head behind me, giving her a faint smile as she ventured to my other side. She peered down at the pan, taking a small whiff of the batter cooking in front of us.

"Smells good." She paused as she made her way towards the coffee maker, pouring herself a cup. "Could this have anything to do with a certain someone coming back home today?"

I didn't have to look at her to know that she was smirking. I had to fight against my own as I flipped another one of the pancakes in the pan.

"Or..." I trailed off, trying to wipe off the guilty look on my face. "Maybe I'm just hungry."

She snorted. "Sure, right, of course."

"Why did you say it like that?" I sat my mug down onto the counter to face her with a hand on my hip. "It's just Harry."

"It's just Harry." She mocked me teasingly behind her cup of coffee before taking a slow sip of it. I rolled my eyes at her, turning my body to face away. I tried to hide the smile that carved deep into my cheeks, but it was hard not to.

It was just Harry. That was all.

Just Harry.

"Anyways, he should be stopping by here soon I think." I stirred the spoon into my coffee cup, pursing my lips to the side as I got lost into my own thoughts.

I suppose I was a bit scared to see him. Nina always had a gift for seeing right through me. I just hated that she would say it out loud. I didn't think I had even said it out loud to myself, even when I was left alone without any other eyes on me.

Saying things out loud made it real, and that was what scared me. I wanted to stay in my bliss of ignorance for just a bit longer. Bathe in my own delusions of what I had made for myself on the inside. I didn't have to say anything out loud. Not if I didn't want to. And I did not want to.

"Aurora, if you make this awkward, I swear to fuck I am leaving your ass here." Nina said as she pushed past me on purpose. It was a soft nudge to the shoulder, but I knew what she was trying to say through the gesture.

"I am not going to make it awkward!" I half whined. I didn't even notice my hands going over my face when I had said it. I didn't mean to make things awkward, but I guess I did have that tendency sometimes. Especially when I was nervous.

"You better not, because like I said, I will leave." She teased. "If it's one thing you're good at, it's making everything awkward. Just talk to him like nothing happened. It's not that hard, Aurora."

"You say that, but–" I went to defend myself, but the knock on the door had quickly grabbed my attention. I felt my body go stiff, not even noticing the way my hands were now death-gripping the hot cup of coffee that I held.

"Mm, speaking of the devil." Nina nodded towards the door with a teasing smile on her lips. I squinted my eyes at her as she made her way towards the door. I truly didn't feel as nervous earlier as I did right now, which I didn't even know was possible.

There was a turning feeling in my stomach. I didn't think that seeing Harry right now was going to make me react this way, but I also just didn't think I was ready for it this soon. I didn't know what to say to him. Not yet.

I sunk into the deepest parts of the kitchen that was away from the front door. I wasn't hiding. I was just...cooking. Exactly. I was just cooking. That was all.

I sat my coffee down onto the counter as I grabbed the bowl of batter, quickly pouring some into the hot pan that Nina had on the eye. Noises from the door opening made my stomach twist uncomfortably, and then I heard him, only contorting it further.

"Hey, Nina. Aurora's still here, right?" His voice floated through the apartment as Nina closed the door from behind her.

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen." Nina perked up with a cheery tone. I pinched my eyes shut tightly, placing a hand on my forehead as I tried to collect myself.

They were having small talk, and that was fine. It bought me more time to regain my composure, which I was more than happy for. It was when I heard his footsteps coming towards the kitchen that I started to feel my tensions rise again. I immediately started to busy myself around the area, trying to make it look like I didn't even know he was there as if I wasn't just eavesdropping on the conversation they were having.

I settled on standing in front of the oven with a spatula in my hand while I flipped the pancakes that were burning in the pan. My chest was caving in while my breathing was staggering as I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see Harry standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

It really didn't matter how much I had seen of him, he still knew how to knock the breath out of me any time he was around. He had a loose, white, and washed out Rolling Stones shirt on with blue jeans that ripped at the knees. That was all I could see from the small glance I had given him. It was all I could bear.

"Hi." His voice was laced with nervousness. I could tell that much. It almost lifted a bit of weight off of me to know that I wasn't the only one that was uncomfortable, but he didn't know that.

I felt like the minute I said something, my voice was going to give everything away regardless, though. In order not to let the silence linger any more than it already had, I finally spoke up.

"Hey." I echoed out with my head crooked over my shoulder in his direction. I caught a brief glimpse of him before I brought my gaze back to the food that was almost finished cooking. I was on my last one, which also meant that I wouldn't have any more excuses to keep my focus laying anywhere else but the people around me.

He was leaning against the doorframe and I couldn't tell if he had a look of confusion or concern wrapped in his features just from the small glance that I had gotten. The unknowing of what was going through his mind was the most nerve-wracking of all. In reality, I knew I was probably blowing it slightly out of proportion, but it didn't help settle my mind any more with that knowledge anyway.

I placed the last blueberry pancake onto the platter, stacking high with steam creeping off of the cakes. Just as I twisted the knob of the stove off, I heard his steps behind me start to move closer. For a moment, I considered cooking more just so I didn't have to turn around and face him. Even though it had already been a few days since, the embarrassment from that night was still just as overwhelming. At least beforehand I didn't have to face Harry about it, I could just ignore it and let it eventually pass until it came up again.

But there was no ignoring it when it was directly behind me.

"Everything okay?" Harry questioned quietly, sounding slightly unsure about his own feelings himself. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him now leaning against the counter to my right. He was using his elbow to prop himself up as he gazed at me.

I flashed a meek smile at him, gathering all the dishes and placing them in the sink between us. "Yeah, I'm good."

He wrinkled his eyes at me as he surveyed what I was doing. I could tell he was attempting to figure out what I was thinking but was getting slightly frustrated when he couldn't pinpoint what it was. I wasn't sure if it was because I was doing a good job at remaining neutral, or if it was the barrier between species that was helping me out. I was grateful either way.

"Harry!" I heard Nina exclaim as she re-entered the room. "I almost forgot– You're coming to the get-together later, right? It was supposed to be this big party at some dude's house, but plans changed a bit. Plans changing as in that guy is a dick and it'll be lame, so we made our own plans instead. It'll be fun!" She beamed.

I inhaled a deep breath as I continued to place everything to their designated spots. I pretended like I wasn't just as excited as Nina to hear what he was going to reply with. We had decided it was just going to be the four of us while Harry was gone, so we couldn't update him beforehand. I had to explain to her the same bullshit excuse as to why he wouldn't be able to answer his texts while he went to go see his parents. Luckily, she didn't pry too much on it and just accepted it.

"Oh, uh..." He stammered for a moment. "I had forgotten. Don't we have work to do and classes tomorrow?" His voice sounded unsteady for a second and I could tell that he had been taken off guard. I felt bad.

"It's nothing huge, I promise! We all don't have classes until later tomorrow anyways." Her voice raised an octave from excitement as she got in front of Harry, pouting her lip out. "C'mon, Harry! Pleaseee..."

I smiled to myself as I placed the last plate onto the table with the pancakes directly in the middle of all of them. Once finished, I leaned an arm against the table and watched the interaction between the two of them, giggling slightly to myself.

He still looked faintly uncomfortable as he searched his eyes around the room. Nina backed away with a small huff, looking at me out of the corner of her eye. I shifted, placing a hand onto my cheek as I looked away from the both of them.

Okay, maybe this was a little bit awkward.

"Okay, okay. Just think about it, okay? I've got to get to class, so I'll see you guys later." She flashed one last smile in Harry's direction before venturing in my direction. With a bare hand, she reached for the first pancake on the stack and winked at me. 

"Stop being awkward and use that Aurora charm that works so well!" She whispered in my ear, concealing it with a hug. She mouthed one last "you got this" before taking a bite and turning on her heel out the door, giving Harry a pat on the back on the way.

The silence trickled back between us as we were now left alone again, but this time truly alone. I tapped my fingers against the dining room table for a moment as I thought. With a singular deep breath, I sat down in one of the seats.

"I made blueberry pancakes if you're hungry–" I stopped myself, wanting to kick myself in the foot after the realization that he doesn't get hungry. "Or if you just wanna try them, I guess."

"Blueberries?" He questioned with his brows knitted together. He peered over the table as he took a step closer. "What does it taste like?"

I smiled as he pulled the chair out for him to sit in. He didn't even wait to hear my explanation before slapping the biggest cake onto his plate. His head crooked at the shape, as if trying to understand how the berries got stuck inside of it.

"There's only one way to find out." I half-laughed. "They're good, I promise. They're not the poisonous kind of berries." A full laugh broke out that time, but dissipated when I saw the look of horror etched onto his face.

"There's poisonous berries?" His eyes widened as big as the moon and I thought that he was about to toss the plate away from him.

"No. Well, I mean, yes, there are poisonous berries but not the ones you buy in the store. Blueberries are sweet and they taste good. Try it." I nudged my head towards his plate for encouragement, but he still looked unsure. So, I took a bite of my own and he looked at me like he was waiting for me to fall over dead on the floor.

I swallowed, forking another bite onto the silverware. "See? Not dead."

His eyes softened as he stared back down, cutting his own slice and placing it into his mouth. For a few minutes, that was how we continued to exist amongst each other. Both of us were so preoccupied with the food that we didn't say anything. There was still a slight awkwardness in the air, but it had greatly subdued. I had almost forgotten what I was so worried about to begin with given how natural it felt to be around him again.

That was probably the reason why I had enough confidence to say the next thing that I did.

"I'm sorry, by the way." I strained to get the words out, convinced I would choke on my food if I wasn't careful. A swig of coffee helped coat my throat and soothe my nerves simultaneously.

"Sorry?" He repeated in a confused tone.

I stopped eating my food, trying to focus on what to say next. I was hoping I wouldn't have to explain what I was apologizing for and that it would be obvious, but that didn't look to be the case this morning.

"With the whole Brandon thing...at the bar...you know?" I mindlessly cut up the pancakes into smaller pieces, not picking any of it up into my fork. I had to stop myself from continuing as it would just become one big mushy mess if I didn't.

"Ah." He mentioned softly. Such a small word left such a weird hollowed out feeling in my stomach again. It was like he had forgotten and I was stupid enough to bring it back up for him to remember. Regardless, I knew I needed to apologize sooner than later. I was sorry after all. I didn't need to lie or pretend it never happened.

"I don't want you to think that's who I am. It's who I was, but I don't like that side of me. I blocked him and I don't want anything to do with him anymore, okay? He's not a good guy and I should've known better. I'm sorry you had to see any of that." My eyes looked along the table, suddenly interested in the table cloth fabric as I twisted it between my fingers.

"Okay. I believe you." He replied, quicker than I expected. The previous look of hurt was no longer on his face, it was now replaced with that familiar Starboy sparkle in his eyes that I had grown so much comfort in.

"Thank you, Harry." I grinned at him. The uneasiness had drifted away and so had the queasiness that had grown in my stomach. I forked away at the food again, looking up briefly towards Harry who was doing the same.

"You should come tonight, though. It'll be fun. You'll get to meet Nina's boyfriend, Ryan, too." I said as I piled the last bite into my mouth. I hummed lightly to myself, content with my now-full stomach.

"Is he nice?" He inquired aloud suspiciously. "Because most of the men I've met so far are not very nice."

I had to hold back the snort that I wanted to let out from his observations, but I couldn't help but feel a ping of guilt. Harry watched the way I surrounded myself around guys that weren't that nice of people. If he had realized that so quickly, and I wondered why I had let it happen over and over again.

"I don't know much about him either, but Nina really likes him and I want to give him a chance. You should, too." I said quietly, offering an innocent smile.

He twitched his lips together as he thought, swirling around the leftover pieces of pancake still on his plate. "Okay." He mustered out. "As long as he's nice to her."

I smiled. "I'll make sure he is. We both will, okay?"

His eyes glided back up to mine, this time with the first real smile I had seen since he came back. I felt an immediate wave of relief flood through my chest. "Okay."

"Perfect. It's settled then." I beamed, gathering our finished plates and putting them into the sink. The water rushed out, splashing slightly onto my shirt from the suddenness of it. It was a good thing I was still in my pajamas, completely unaffected by the mess.

The mood within the room had completely flipped from only an hour ago, and I now felt on top of the world. Not only did it end a lot better than I expected it to, but we were all going to go out and have a good time with just the four of us. There was a little bit of nervousness about Nina's new boyfriend, but like I told Harry, I wanted to give him a chance. Given how patient she had been with me recently, as well as in the past, it was the least I could do for her. Maybe he would be the one frat guy that I could stand to be around.

It took some convincing at first, but as Nina described it more, the more excited I actually got. There would be no entering of stranger's homes; it actually didn't involve anyone's home at all. We were going to drive out to a spot that Nina and I had camped out at a time or two awhile back, completely surrounded by trees and nature.

Which also reminded me that I was already behind on my one and only job for it: rolling the joints.

"Oh, shit." I cursed out, shutting the water off and spinning around out of the room. "I'll be right back, I forgot something." I shouted over my shoulder, already out of view.

I wasn't sure if Harry said anything back as I was too preoccupied with rummaging through my drawer where I stashed everything. Everything from glass pipes, to jars of different strains, to decorated lighters, to cherry wrapping papers were all neatly placed in their rightful places. I was usually the one in charge of rolling as Nina swore up and down that I did it best, but I wasn't wholly convinced that she just preferred not to do it. I never minded though, I enjoyed the act of rolling. It was calming in some way to be so focused on one task.

I scanned my eyes along the contents as I thought to myself on which to choose. I ended up deciding on Wedding Cake, the classic mellow strain that I always found myself reaching for. Even though I wasn't sure which one Harry would have preferred, I thought that would be the safest out of the choices regardless.

Quickly, I grabbed the jar with the papers and padded away back into the kitchen where Harry still sat. He hadn't moved besides placing his hands neatly onto the tabletop, and he smiled at me once I entered. His eyebrows seemed to dance together as he tried to focus on what was in my hands, and I opened my mouth to explain myself, but then promptly closed it. I found it slightly entertaining to see him gape at the objects that I had placed onto the table.

It was as if I wasn't even in the room as he continued to stare at the nuggets that I placed into the grinder, spinning the lid in order to crush it up. I peeked up at him every now and then as I reached around for each object, and he didn't meet my eyes once until I brought the cherry papers up to my lips.

All of a sudden, the nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach reappeared as I swiped my tongue along the edge. I could feel his eyes on me even while I avoided them. It took everything in me not to close my eyes just to pretend he wasn't there– or to avoid my cheeks from blushing.

My thumbs threatened to shake as they carefully rolled the paper up, enclosing the weed inside of the material. For something I was typically so confident in, the feeling was suddenly dwindling with such eager eyes on me.

"What is that?" He finally spoke up, continuing his look of interest in his eyes. "It smells funny."

I giggled, placing one of the finished rolls onto a tray and began starting on the next one. "Weed, Harry. It's for the party tonight."

His head slightly fell back with a slight face of horror. "Weeds? Like the grass outside? That green stuff? I don't remember it smelling like that. What do you do with it?"

His rapid firing of questions reminded me of the Harry that I had first met, eager to know everything possible as soon as he could. Everything interested him and he wanted to know every single possible answer.

I chuckled again because of it. "No, not grass. It's a plant, but you smoke it. It makes you feel good, floaty almost." I peeked my eyes up at him as I began to lick at the next one. He no longer stared as intently at me as he once was, which helped ease the nervous feeling he had given me previously.

"I can already float, Aurora." He stated matter-of-factly with his arms crossed. "I don't need to smoke grass to float."

I snorted. "I suppose not, but you should try it at least once. I bet you'll like it." I smirked at him, putting up the rest of the contents that I had left over. After the nerves had settled, my previous work speed had gone back to normal and I had already rolled three joints perfectly by the time that he was inquiring about the weed.

"Will it feel like those good blue slushies from that one restaurant we went to?" His eyes began to glow with anticipation, practically bursting at the seams.

"No, not quite like that. It'll be more relaxing, like your whole body will feel it. Sensations will be stronger, too. You can watch us first to see if you want to try it." I reassured him. "Nina and I will make sure you're safe and comfortable regardless."

He nodded his head. "I think I'll try it. Maybe this type of floating won't be so exhausting."

I blew out a burst of air through my nose. "Hopefully not."

My attention turned towards the stove, reading out the time in glowing numbers. I didn't have a class until later, but I needed to stop by the planetarium beforehand so that I could get my supplies for the next presentation. Apparently the professor was so impressed by my first one that he wanted me to join him again for this week's showing. It hardly took me a second to reply with a quick acceptance.

"Do you want to come by the planetarium with me? I've gotta get some material from there and make sure there's nothing else that needs to be done before work tomorrow." I pushed my chair in, wiping my hands of any residue that had lingered against my fingertips. I mildly regretted doing this beforehand, not wanting to greet Professor Collins while smelling like weed.

Hopefully he wouldn't notice.

He nodded his head quickly again, scooting his seat in immediately as he grabbed for his bag and slung it over his shoulder promptly.

I chuckled lightly. "I gotta get dressed first. I'll be out in just a second and then we can go. I'll be quick, I promise."

It didn't take long to rummage through my closet. I slipped on an extra layer over my shirt, expecting the chilliness in the air to bite back with force. I did my best to try and dodge any mirrors, knowing I had to be quick, which meant I couldn't focus on my appearance. As long as I looked put together enough, that was all that mattered.

Luckily with the guidance and help of Nina, even my depressed stupor didn't affect my cleanliness too badly. I had even remembered to do my skincare routine earlier this morning before I got out of bed.

I almost tripped over my feet as I attempted to slip on my boots while I walked out of my bedroom door. After a couple of tries, I gave up and plopped myself on the floor while I laced them up correctly. I hadn't been this excited to leave the house since the whole bar situation. It was a nice change to the feelings I had been engulfed with since then. I liked this version of Aurora so much better.

"You ready?" I asked, slightly winded from the previous excursion I had put myself through in the hallway.

Harry turned around from Astro, who he was whispering to as he petted her back. She was wagging her tail vigorously, fighting to lick at his face as he knelt down to her.

"Let's go." He smiled, giving Astro one last pat on her head. He pointed in her direction. "Does she always slobber that much?" He sounded concerned.

"Only when she's excited...or thirsty." I offered with a shrug and a laugh. "Dogs can be kinda gross, I know."

His face twisted with a look of fascination mixed with disgust as we walked past her. Harry led the way, briefly looking over his shoulder in my direction.

"Quite peculiar they are."

The cool breeze greeted us as we left the apartment. This was just a reminder that summer was starting to slowly fade into fall. No more shorts and breezy shirts, or fun colors with sparkly makeup. It was going to be long sleeve shirts and pants from here on out.

I was a fan of the fall time, but summer was when I thrived the most. Specifically because it was a good time to see the stars, and it was more comfortable to lay outside at night and watch the constellations. I hated that the warmest of seasons seemed to go by so quickly, but it was something I surely couldn't control.

I wrapped myself up with my arms as my fingers slowly trailed up and down the goosebumps that the wind created on my skin. I wished I grabbed my thicker jacket, but I didn't expect the weather to change so drastically. It was hot yesterday, but then again, the weather never seemed to want to pick a side as they drifted into the new seasons.

"You cold?" Harry asked quietly from beside me. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, a small chuckle came from me as I shrugged my shoulders and dropped my arms to my sides.

"Um, just a bit." The small talk was kind of weird. I was glad we had gotten everything out of the way, but I still felt a gnawing guilt feeling in the back of my mind. Harry seemed fine, and I suppose that was all that really mattered. I just wanted him to be okay.

We kept walking, the gray skies clouding over the city. I had somewhat hoped that the clouds would subside by tonight so we could still watch the stars. One of the reasons I mainly went to these things was so I could get high and just stargaze.

One could say it was cliché, but I was a walking cliché after all. Never claimed not to be. I knew that as well, and I was okay with it. I had long gotten over the need to be different from everyone else, that was a cliché in and of itself.

"The weather today–"

"Don't do that to me." I told him with a chuckle, shaking my head at him. "We are not about to talk about the weather."

"Does weather talk not interest you, Aurora?" His smile dipped into a half frown, and I immediately felt bad. I kept having to remind myself that he wasn't from here, and that he didn't get that talking about the weather could be weird filler conversations reserved for strangers.

"Um...It's just that, sometimes, it could be taken weirdly, you know?" I kicked at the pebbles on the ground as we approached the planetarium. "Usually it's just a way to fill awkward space between people who don't know each other. Friends don't have to do that."

"Oh, okay. I see." I could've believed him if he didn't swallow the rest of his words down. Some things just weren't meant to be said. In our case, it was best if we just left it alone as it was now.

Harry led the way into the planetarium, and I was grateful for a moment that he did, given that I was nearly holding my breath the entire walk there. I felt my shoulders relax as I entered the warm building, the heat hugging me like a weighted blanket.

I hated doing things so last minute sometimes. If I wouldn't have put off needing to pick up the papers for next week's speech then I could be doing other things right now. Such as staring blankly at the notes for the test I had coming up, but not soaking anything in due to how tired I was. Or I could have been napping.

Harry stood close behind me as I walked into the main room of the building. The lights were dimmed down, but they were still on. Usually this place was packed, but today we didn't have anything scheduled to show. It was weird seeing this place so empty– so quiet.

I wheeled around the chairs, rushing towards the desk that was all the way in the back of the room. That was where Professor Collins said that he would have left the papers for me. I didn't think he was going to be in today, but I also didn't want to check either. I just wanted to be in and out.

Out of the corner of my eye, Harry stood next to the row of chairs that was by the desk as his eyes scanned around the room. His fingers slowly fiddled with the rings that cladded his hands. It took me a second to put two and two together, but then I realized.

This was where he was attacked by the light guardian. The night that we had met up at the coffee shop, where his face had been bruised and bloodied.

I clutched the papers tightly into my hand, moving my gaze towards the desk as I placed them into my bag.

"Looks like you've seen a ghost, Harry." Professor Collins's voice echoed through the room.

I saw Harry slightly jump at the sound of his voice, his body quickly turning to see him standing there with a wide smile on his lips and his arms crossed against his chest. I gazed over the two of them, seeing how uncomfortable Harry was made me feel bad for him.

"Oh, just–" Harry cleared his throat, shifting onto his feet slowly. "I just always found this building creepy when it's empty."

"Hm." Professor Collins hummed, giving Harry a once over before turning his body towards me. "Find those papers I left for you, Aurora?"

"I did!" I tried to sound cheery, but the tension somehow became a lot thicker in the air, but this time due to the newfound awkwardness. I didn't think it was possible after the residual feelings that were still felt in the air between Harry and I, but Collins being in the same room had proved that it was. "Sorry I was so late grabbing them, but I'll make sure that I study them before next week."

"Not a problem at all." He reassured me with a small smile. "Just want to make sure that you're prepared. We will be going over some more information I have gathered about black holes. I know we really haven't gone over that much, so just make sure you study the notes."

"Black holes?" Harry took a step towards the professor with a big smile. "Did you know that the milky way has a black hole?"

"Probably." He corrected Harry, perking his brow up as his lip twitched in curiosity. "Scientists say that it probably has a black hole. No further studies have proven it, not quite yet."

"Oh." Harry bit back. The fact that Harry said it, made it ring true. He knew everything about the stars and space himself. I mean, he lived there, so why wouldn't he?

"You sure know a lot about that, don't you?" Collins shifted his gaze towards Harry. "How long have you been going to school here again?"

"Um... I just started this semester." He said quietly, taking a step back from him as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"And yet, you know so much." Collins pondered to himself quietly, but loud enough where we could hear it. "Was this something you always wanted to do? Study the stars?"

"I mean, yeah." Harry cleared his throat again, bringing two of his fingers to push on his lips as he switched his gaze back and forth between Collins and I. "My parents are really into that kind of stuff, so...I guess that's why."

"And where are your parents, Harry? It seems like I don't know much about you, though you've been working here for sometime now." Collins said as he glanced towards me out of the corner of his eye. It was almost like he was making sure I was watching him dig into Harry.

Harry rubbed the soft stubble on his cheek with a frown as he averted his gaze towards me. I knew this was starting to get more uncomfortable for him by the moment, so I had to say something to get him out of the hole that Collins was digging him into.

"We have to go." I said almost in shock as I checked the time on my phone. "Harry, you have that hair appointment in twenty minutes. I totally forgot about that."

Harry's eyes widened, his hand dropping down to his side as he looked at me in confusion. Collins faced me, tilting his head as he looked me over. I stood there with a small smile on my lips, a nervous laugh spilling from them.

"Hair appointment–?"

"Well, it was really nice seeing you, Jerry." I said as I collected my things from the desk, shoving them into the bag swiftly. "We really need to get Harry to that appointment, but we can definitely talk later."

"Right..." He cleared his throat, a smile spreading across his lips. I let out a small breath as I nodded towards him, my hands interlocking with Harry's as I started towards the door.

"Bye!" Harry waved back at him with his free hand, his dimples planted into his cheeks as he smiled. I dared not to look back as I continued to pull Harry out of the door.

I didn't have to ask Harry, I think he already knew that that interaction was really weird. Collins had always been a really nice guy ever since I met him. I couldn't wrap my head around why he would ask a million questions to Harry. He had to have known it was awkward in the way he was throwing them so quickly at him. I didn't recall ever having so many inquiries from him towards my life at once.

Harry's grip tightened around my hand as he pulled me towards him for comfort. My cheeks started to heat up as his thumb mindlessly ran over the back of my hand. For a moment, I wasn't sure if I should pull my hand from him or if I should just let it happen. I couldn't lie, it felt nice. I liked it.

That was until Harry had let go of my hand the minute I was closer to him. I pursed my lips to the side, crossing my arms over my chest as we continued to walk down the sidewalk back towards Nina's house.

"Sorry about that." I cleared my throat into my fist. "I don't know why he did that. That was..."

"I don't think I like people asking me questions." Harry said softly, a soft frown formed onto his lips. "I'm never sure what to say. I always feel like I'll say something I'm not supposed to."

"Let's just stay away from questions for right now." I breathed out. "Later I can help you figure out some answers to some of those questions, okay?"

"You would really do that for me?" Harry gazed towards me with a soft smile. I felt his hand rest on the top of my back. "Thanks, I really appreciate that."

"Of course." I nodded towards him. "Um... would you mind helping me pack up everything at Nina's and taking it back to my house? My landlord said they had fixed the door, so..."

"Can I walk Astro?" He said with an excited tone and a lopsided grin.

"Yes, you can walk Astro." I chuckled out.

"Then yes, I will." Harry clapped his hands together, shrugging his shoulders as he started to walk a bit faster. I watched as he excitedly blew past me, and I couldn't help but find it so cute.

Just the simplest things Harry found so exciting.

It made my heart flutter.  

"Nina just texted me, they are outside waiting for us." I said as I clicked my phone off, sliding it into the back of my pocket.

I double checked through the bag, making sure I had everything for tonight. Waters, blankets, jackets, and snacks. The joints were in my purse and everything else was good to go.

"I'm a bit nervous, Aurora." Harry said from behind me, his fingers twisting his rings around slowly as he pursed his lips to the side. "After the last party we went to..."

"It's not gonna be like that party. It's just gonna be the four of us, nobody else. I promise." I tried to reassure him as I flung the bag over my shoulder. "Plus, Nina is a good judge of character. She wouldn't have Ryan around if he wasn't, right?"

"And you." He said, nudging my elbow with his. "Don't forget you."

I wanted to laugh, but I held it back. I wasn't really that interesting of a person, or good for that matter. Maybe it was just my anxiety talking, but I really didn't look at myself the way that Harry seemed to. He was much more forgiving to myself than even I was.

"Well, anyways." I cleared my throat as I headed towards the door. "Astro's fed for the night... Got everything in my bag..." I ran my hand over the fabric of it, squinting my eyes as I went through my mental list.

"You checked the bag twice now. I'm sure we have everything." Harry said as he nudged me out the door. "Now go. Shoo, shoo, out the door."

"Okay, okay." I chuckled as I locked the door from behind me. We left my apartment, seeing Ryan's truck that was parked right outside. I was glad I didn't have to walk far to meet him. Usually the streets were filled with cars, but luckily tonight it wasn't.

I packed the bag into the back before hopping into the truck. Harry came in after me, scooting into his seat before closing the door shut. It smelled like strong cologne in the truck, and when I looked over I saw a bottle that was sitting on the floorboard. It had been used so heavily that it was hard to read the label and identify the scent from where we sat.

"Harry! You came!" Nina clapped as she smiled wide back at him, her dimples prominent in her cheeks. Harry let out a nervous laugh, running a hand through his thick brown curls.

"Yeah..." He hummed. He sounded slightly unsure with his answer, but he did his best to match the excitement in Nina's tone.

Nina knew he was nervous, but we were going to try our best to make him feel more comfortable in our circle.

"Hey, what's up." Ryan's low, tangy voice came from him. My jaw nearly dropped to my lap when I heard his voice. It sounded so thick and deep. Looking at him, I didn't really expect him to sound like that.

Ryan was probably about the same height as Harry. He had dark brown hair that curled around the backside, but came outwards towards the front of his face. Brown eyes that were more golden than a deep brown.

He looked like he was meant to be with Nina from the way he looked. He just radiated Mr. Right for her. He had a very cool and relaxed demeanor about him.

"What do you go to school for, Harry?" Ryan looked in the rear view back at him as he drove off down the road.

"Uh, I major in science and astronomy." Harry nodded towards him, his fingers fiddling with the strings that frayed on his jeans. "What about you?"

"Computer Engineering." He said back. "It's boring to learn about, but it's fun to build computers."

"That's...awesome." Harry wasn't sure what to say. I chuckled at his response, shifting my weight in my seat.

"How old are you?" Ryan looked back at Harry in the mirror again. "You look young."

"Do I really?" Harry smiled cheekily as he looked down to study his body. "Well, I'm...twenty-one, so cheers. Thanks for that."

"I'm twenty-four." Ryan chuckled out at Harry's response. "You guys are practically babies."

"Hey! We are only a few years younger." Nina whined, nudging Ryan in the shoulder.

"Is twenty-four old?" Harry had leaned closely over towards me as he whispered into my ear. I let out a chuckle, glancing over to him.

"No, it's not." I whispered back to him, patting his hand softly.

"Oh..." His lip twitched up into a smile, turning his body towards Ryan again.

The place we were going to was out in the middle of nowhere, but thankfully it was only a thirty to forty-five minute drive. Harry kept staring out the window, and I could tell he was nervous from his leg lightly bouncing.

I was nervous too, honestly.

Ryan talked a lot about how he and his frat friends had parties a lot and that we should come with him. Instinctively, I had rolled my eyes at him without him seeing.

It was so weird to think about Nina dating a frat boy. He definitely had the qualities to show it by his tank that had slits down the side, paired with skinny jeans that were so tight you could basically see his dick imprinted in them.

Oh, and the backwards baseball cap was a dead giveaway.

Even with that, though, the way he talked about things so passionately made me think twice about him. When I would think about frat guys, I would mostly think about, well... dumb guys that did dumb shit and got drunk a lot.

Besides him getting drunk a lot, I had to give it to him that he was incredibly smart. Maybe there was more to him after all.

We finally pulled up to the large field. Ryan took the gravel road that led out towards the field, but then he took an unexpected hard right to drive straight into it.

Harry's brows furrowed together tightly, his fingers gripping his seatbelt as he scanned around the area from all the windows before looking at me with a curious look.

"It's okay." I whispered as I unbuckled my seat once we came to a stop.

He gave me a nervous smile as he also clicked his seatbelt off of him.

"I'll let the bed of the truck down." Ryan said as he turned the car off and then got out.

"I'm gonna help him." Nina said with a smile as she leaned back to grab the big luggage full of pillows that we had packed.

"Try not to shove your tongue down his throat by the time we get out." I chuckled, watching her face get bashful.

She left the car with a roll of the eye and a scoff, but a sly smirk spread across her face that told me she was definitely gonna have her tongue down his throat when we got out.

Harry scooted himself closer to the door, his body pressed against it as he stared out the window. Part of me felt a little bad only because I knew he was anxious to be around other people right now.

"We're gonna be stargazing." I told him softly as I scooted towards him. "Ryan seems to like you."

"Ryan is okay." He replied with his attention elsewhere, but I could tell he really meant it. Ryan did seem just okay. So far.

"C'mon, let's go outside so we can get in the bed of the truck." I nudged him softly with a smile.

He cracked a small smile back at me before opening the door. We got out of the car, and I had imagined it to be a bit colder, but it was just the right temperature. It wasn't too hot and it wasn't too cold.

We walked to the back of the car, and my eyes lit up at the sight of how comfy the bed had looked. Nina had laid down five thick blankets, with pillows scattered around for us to use if we wanted to lay down.

It was perfect.

I climbed up first, taking a spot next to Nina. Harry sat next to Ryan.

"This is so cute." I pouted, tilting my head towards the sky. "And the stars are really out tonight too."

"Tonight is gonna be so much fun." Nina chuckled as she nudged my arm. "Ryan brought some shots. Do you guys want one?"

"Yeah, they're uh... pineapple flavor." He said as he showed the small shots. They were in small clear bottles with the liquid sloshing inside.

"Sure, thank you, Ryan." I smiled as I took two from him. I glanced towards Harry out of the corner of my eye that was staring directly at the sky. He wasn't even zoning in on what was happening around him.

"Hey, Starboy!" Nina used her foot to tap Harry's thigh, a wide smile on her lips. "You want one?"

Harry looked towards Nina with a bit of a jolt, as if he wasn't expecting to come in contact with someone else. He squinted his eyes at the small bottle, then looked towards me.

I held out the second shot in my hand, a reassuring smile on my lips. "You don't have to take it. It's like the blue drink."

"Blue drink—Ah, yes." Harry chuckled nervously as he leaned forward to take it from my fingers. He examined the bottle, tilting his head side to side. "I think I will. Thank you, Ryan." He said quietly towards him as he tilted the shot towards him.

We all took the caps off of the bottle, holding it up in the air with a smile. Harry watched in curiosity, slowly raising his glass with the rest of ours.

"Cheers!" Nina chuckled.

"Cheers!" I smiled.

"Cheers." Harry repeated more shyly.

We all took the shot at the same time. Harry, though, had fallen behind. He was having a small problem with taking it all in one go and instead going with a sip.

He let out a cough, covering his mouth with his arm as he tried so desperately not to spill the shot on the blankets.

"Not a tequila man, huh?" Ryan chuckled as he hit Harry's back with a loud pop. His eyes widened, letting out another cough before shaking his head.

"It went down the wrong way, I think. Doesn't really taste the same as the blue one either." Harry cleared his throat, sending me a silly smile as he looked down at the drink once more.

"You don't have to—"

Before I could even finish my sentence, Harry took the drink and chugged it all the way down. His face scrunched as he did so, and his ring cladded fingers gripped at his jeans tightly.

"God damn, Harry." Nina laughed out. "You want another one?"

Harry shook his head with a sour look on his face as he placed the bottle to the side, waving his hand in front of his face.

"No, I think that's quite alright." He said thickly. "Maybe, uh... Later."

Watching Harry struggle with the shot was so pitiful, but I couldn't help but laugh anyways. It was funny the way he wasn't used to alcohol and the way his face twisted with the burning feeling that it left in his throat.

"We need some music!" Nina stood on the bed of the truck, placing a hand onto the roof of it before jumping over the ledge to the grass.

"Please don't turn on that electronic stuff. It gives me a headache." I begged as I watched her crawl into the driver's seat of the truck. Suddenly the music started to flow through the truck, and it got louder as she turned it up.

It wasn't too loud but just loud enough for us to hear it.

Sounds of guitars started to strum its way through the air, causing my body to start to relax more. I was thankful that Nina turned on something that we all liked. Usually she listened to really noisy music that was just too much for my brain to handle.

"Don't be a hater, Aurora." Nina pouted as she climbed over the ledge, pulling herself back onto the blankets. "You just haven't been to a rave yet, that's your problem. You should come with me sometime."

"I would rather eat rusty nails for breakfast." I teased her, crossing my arms over my chest. "Raves are not my kind of scene. You know that."

"But they could be!" She raised her arms in defense. "Don't knock it 'til you try it!"

"Babe, did you bring the joints?" Ryan nudged Nina. "Let's light up, c'mon."

"Oh, Aurora, did you roll the joints?" Nina jolted as she turned towards me with a smile. "Please tell me you did."

I rolled my eyes. "Did I bring the joints? Of course I did." I said as I brought out the small packaging from my bag. Harry shifted in his seat, staring at me curiously as he watched me bring out one of the cherry paper rolled joints from earlier.

"Fuck yes. Thank you, Aurora." Ryan smiled wide. "You're a lifesaver."

"You're gonna make my ego inflate, be careful." I teased as I placed it between my lips. I lit it with no effort, taking a slow, but long drag off of it. Smoke bellowed into the air, creating a stench of skunk immediately.

"It's been so long since I've smoked. My normal guy has been dry as fuck." Nina mumbled as she pouted her lips. "Gimme, gimme, gimme."

"So needy." I mumbled as I blew the smoke out, passing it off to her.

"Can I try some of that, Nina?" Harry said shyly, pointing towards the lit object between her fingers. "I, uh... I've never smoked before."

"Harry, you've never smoked before? No way! This is gonna be so awesome." Nina said excitedly as she scooted towards him with the joint in hand.

"Well, maybe—" I stopped Nina with my hand, taking it from her as I tsked. "Let me show him. You always end up getting first-timers way too high."

"That was one time and that shit was medical grade, okay? It's not my fault she couldn't hang." Nina pouted as she scooted back to her spot.

"Okay, whatever." I teased, handing it over to Harry with a smile. "Okay, so put your lips around this end and just take a really small hit. Inhale like you are breathing through your mouth, but uh... with your mouth closed."

Harry took the joint, staring down at the butt of it. He gave me nervous eyes for a mere moment, but I reassured him with a small pat to the knee and a nod.

He shrugged, clearing his throat before putting it to his lips. His cheeks drew in slowly, brows pinched tightly as he looked down at it.

"Hold it, Harry! Hold it in!" Nina cheered on as she laughed. "It'll get you higher!"

"Babe, you're gonna kill him." Ryan rolled his eyes, wrapping his arm around her to pull her close.

Harry took Nina's advice, but it was only for a few seconds before he started to cough up the smoke. A lot harder than he had coughed for the shot he took moments ago.

"It's okay. Hey, it's okay." I panicked slightly, taking the joint from his fingers before passing it off to Ryan from behind me. "Nina knows that's just a myth anyway. If anything, coughing will be more helpful with that." I replied, eyeing her purposely. She only winked at me in return, causing us both to giggle.

Harry was hunched over, covering his mouth as he coughed hard into his hand. I placed a soft touch to his back as I rubbed it carefully, nodding my head in understanding.

"It's normal, you're gonna cough a lot." I frowned. "Just don't listen to Nina next time. She tends to... do this to people."

He tilted his head up, his eyes slightly watery from the coughing. He let out a soft breath, rubbing at his eyes before turning towards me with an embarrassed expression.

"I didn't expect that." His voice was now raspy from the coughing fit. Harry ran a hand through his brown curls, sitting up straight as he tried to control his breathing.

"You okay?" I whispered as I found a seat next to him, putting my back against the truck with my legs stretched out.

"I feel a little weird... in my chest." He whispered back, placing a hand onto his heart as he drew in a long, slow breath. "Is this normal?"

"It's normal, I promise. You'll feel good in a second, just don't worry about smoking if you don't want to, alright? Sometimes too big of a hit can cause your chest to hurt from all the coughing." I nudged his arm. "We can just listen to music and lay here."

"No, I like it." Harry cleared his throat into his fist, shaking his head softly. His glazed eyes peered towards Nina and Ryan who were blowing the weed smoke into each other's mouth. His lips parted, shifting in his seat slowly.

"Ignore them." I whispered towards him with a roll of my eyes. "Hey! Stop hogging the weed!"

I leaned over, taking the joint from Nina's hand. She muttered something under her breath before wrapping herself back around Ryan. It was typical, I hadn't doubted they would be all over each other tonight.

Placing it between my lips, I took a slow, but long hit off of it. The smoke filled my lungs, burning my throat as I leaned back. It felt good to be smoking again, it had me questioning why I had even stopped for a bit in the first place.

"You're not gonna blow that into my mouth, are you?" Harry questioned with a nervous chuckle that followed after. I let out a soft breath, a smile curved on my lips as the smoke bellowed through my nose.

"No, don't worry."

Harry took the joint from me, taking a long draw from it. The cherry burned the wrapper as I watched him hold the smoke in before it spilled from his lips. He coughed into his hand, his eyes starting to become more and more hooded.

We sat there for sometime, listening to the music while my head leaned back against the truck to stare up at the sky. I kept glancing over towards Harry to make sure he was okay, and he was in the position that I was in. I hadn't noticed that he was staring up at the stars with me.

I had often wondered about what went through his mind. When he looked up at the stars, was he thinking about home? Was he contemplating? Was he thinking the same things that I did?

His mind, from what he had shown me, was beautiful and dark. It was ironic in a way, the way that he could look so happy on the outside, but yet have so many doubts and insecurities about himself. I could only wish that he would see himself the way that I saw him.

But I supposed other people could say the same thing about me as well.

I glanced towards him once again, seeing that he was looking directly at me. I bit back a smile, turning my head to look at him fully. His blood-shot eyes crinkled as he smiled at me, his dimples poking out. I parted my lips, my fingers tapping on my thigh.

"I–"

"You know what!" Nina said as she leaned up from Ryan's arms, spreading her arms out with a wide smile.

"I'm scared to ask." I mumbled softly. The high was now setting in, I could tell from the way my words were slightly slurred with the threat of giggles and my voice became lazy and raspy.

Nina tsked at me, leaning over to grab her purse as she sat it into her lap. Harry and I watched curiously as she brought out a small baggy that had small square foils in it. I wasn't a fool, I knew exactly what it was.

"Are you guys ready to really party?" Nina smirked as she handed me two hits of acid on their own pieces of foil. I stared down at them in my hand, a chuckle leaving me.

"What's that?" Harry whispered towards me, his brows pinching together tightly. I glanced out of the corner of my eye, nibbling on my lip carefully.

"This is acid." I said as I took the small pieces of paper out of the foil, placing them directly onto my finger. "It will make you feel really good. Colors will be a lot brighter and it's like, you're one with the Earth."

"I think I already am one with the Earth, Aurora." Harry chuckled, glancing towards Nina and Ryan who were already putting the hits onto their tongues.

"Do you wanna do it? You don't have to. I know it's all a lot at once, especially for someone not used to it." I turned towards him, holding my palm out. Harry looked down into my hand, his brow perking up. I knew Harry had never done anything like this before, but I would rather him do it with me than some random person he didn't know.

He would be a lot safer with us. With me.

"Uh..." He scratched the back of his head, pursing his lips. "What's it going to feel like?"

"You'll have to figure it out on your own. It's different for everyone, but just imagine pure bliss and euphoria." I placed a hit onto his finger, then one on mine as well. "Here, you can put one on my tongue and then I'll put one on yours."

"How long do you leave it on your tongue?" Harry frowned, looking down at the paper with curiosity.

"Just for thirty minutes or so and then you spit it out or swallow it. This kind doesn't dissolve." I told him as I raised my finger towards his mouth. "Open your mouth."

Harry let out a giggle, opening his mouth slowly before sticking his tongue out. I watched him in awe, a smile spreading across my lips before I did the same thing. I placed the hit onto his tongue, and he placed one on mine.

I closed my mouth, letting it settle on my tongue and making sure not to swallow it before I could give it time to kick in. Harry settled back against the truck, placing his hands into his lap as he brought his tongue back into his mouth. He stared down into his lap, not really saying much after that.

"Are you ready to really see the world now, Starboy?"

a/n: heyyy. just a reminder in case you didn't see sunny or i talk about it, but we're no longer doing scheduled updates. it had just gotten too much and this way makes it less stressful honestly. we still love starboy and are continuing to work on it, but we're allowing ourselves a little more freedom with it so i hope everyone understands! we also hope you guys still stick around and continue along the starboy journey with us <3

#harry styles #harry styles fic #harrys home #harry styles fanfic #harry styles wattpad #harry styles au #harry styles angel au #harry styles alien au #harry styles astronomy #harry styles astrology #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles alternate universe #harry styles ao3 #harry styles writer #harry styles fic rec #harry styles masterlist #harry edward styles #harry styles edit #harry styles album #harry styles writing #harry styles x reader #harry styles x oc #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #1d #one direction #1d fanfic

[starshapedkookie]

COMING SOON

summary: You and Jungkook have been best friends for 8 years, going through absolute hell and back together. After senior year of high school, you and Jungkook began a tradition of taking annual vacations together during the summer months. This summer is no different, with you and Jungkook celebrating graduating college just a couple months prior. You're set to move to NYC after the summer, with you and Jungkook soaking in the sun and as many moments as you can together. You'd think nothing could ever tear your friendship apart with him, but when you've sat on the beach for too many days in a row watching him surf, you can't help but wonder - when did your best friend get so hot?

➢ pairing: jungkook x female reader

➢ genre: high school friends to lovers, ex-baseball player jungkook, beach/vacation au, fluff, smut, a little angst

➢ warnings: none for preview minus some language (full warnings to come when full thing is posted!) also i know that in the little mood board i created, the girl is a teeny white girl & i don't want to alienate any of my poc readers at all - i just thought these pics fit the vibe so take them with a grain of salt 😊

➢ word count: 13.3 k

➢ mini playlist: at the end of the day by wallows, satellite, late night talking, carolina by harry styles, love drought by beyonce, ICE (we should do drugs) by labrinth, unusual you by britney spears

i have no idea who i am writing this much but in honor of BTS comeback here's a little preview below! ↓

“See this isn’t too bad,” he then says looking over his shoulder to meet your gaze. 

“We’re sitting ducks Jungkook,” you mumble, eyes looking around the water, still slightly paranoid. There’s a few other people in the water and a couple surfers which makes you feel a little better. 

“It’s okay to get out of your comfort zone you know,” he raises a brow when you climb off his back, deciding to swim close in front of him. Both of you float with only a few inches between you two, water at your chests. 

“Mhm,” you say sarcastically, “That’s what they all say before they’ve gotten their leg bit off,” you move your arms around to keep you wading. Thankfully it didn’t take long to get used to the chilly water. 

He bites his lip as he watches you with an amused expression. You push away the way it makes you feel. 

“You know that’s why I wanted to be your friend right?” 

You furrow your eyebrows, moving to float on your back. Jungkook being the gentlemen he is, he ends up beside you, his arms giving your back some support in the water as you float. 

“What do you mean?” You ask him. 

You can’t see his expression as you’ve closed your eyes, the sun too bright to keep them open. His fingertips graze your skin every few seconds and you swear it feels like electricity running through your spine. 

“You’ve always been the one to get me out of my comfort zone,” he points out like it’s obvious—though you’ve never had an inkling of this. 

You open one eye at him in a squint, his face a lot closer to yours than you expected, “I don’t think so,” you laugh a little awkwardly as you give up on floating, settling back to your normal swimming position with him in front of you. 

“I wouldn’t lie Y/N,” he laughs in return, “You’ve known me for a long time, you know how fucking weird I used to be.” 

“Hey you weren’t weird,” you defend him, “Just a little awkward and going through puberty.” 

He rolls his eyes, “Fucking weird,” he repeats, “I just mean I’ve never had a friend that’s always pushed me to do things I normally wouldn’t do. Hell just the vacations we’ve taken together is just one example,” he pauses, his next words cutting him a little deep, “I feel like you’re the reason I ever had a life outside of baseball.” 

You bite your lip under the water as you don’t break his heavy eye contact. You’d never realize Jungkook thought that highly of you. It makes you feel giddy on the inside, but also a little sad that you were never that confident in your abilities as a friend. If anything, you thought Jungkook brought you out of your shell more. 

“I’m just a small part of your life Jungkook,” is what you settle on. 

They way his face falls doesn’t go unnoticed, “Trust me,” he pauses beginning a swim back to shore for you to follow him, “You’re a pretty big part Y/N.”

#jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook oneshot #jungkook scenario #jungkook au #jungkook fic #kpop #kpop fic #jungkook fic recs #bts #btswritingcafe

[haztobegood]

UNITED STATES OF FANFICTION - PART 1

I started planning this fic rec a few weeks ago after some inspiration from @allwaswell16​. It started out as something fun I could post for Independence Day, but it’s hard to be excited when the very freedoms we’re meant to celebrate are being taken away. So instead of a Fourth of July themed fic rec, here is a collection of 51 fics from 51 places in case you need an escape this long weekend.

📍 Alabama - (Something's Been) Hiding In My Heart by @lululawrence​​ Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson/Patrick Dempsey, 26k NR Sweet Home Alabama AU, Exes to Lovers, Implied Mpreg

📍 Alaska - Outlasts by cutedaffodil Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, 12k, M Survival, Dogsledding

📍 Arizona - No Hold to Hold Onto by @kingsofeverything​​ Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 48k, E Historical AU, Cowboys, Rodeo Competition

📍 Arkansas - On This Sinking Night by Luz Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, 4k, M Supernatural Elements, Ghost Hunters

📍 California - Climbing The Swells by @cyantific​​ Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 6k, E Surfers, Strangers to Lovers

📍 Colorado - Get Lost and Found by crimsontheory @ireallysawanangel​​ Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 9k, T Hiking, Mountains, Meet Cute

📍 Connecticut - Make The Yuletide Gay by flowercrownfemme @fairytalefem​​ Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Shawn Mendes, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, 10k, T Chirstmas in Connecticut AU, Christmas Tree Farm, Girl Direction

📍 Delaware - I dissolve and break and then away I crawl by lumineres Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 10k, M Little Red Riding Hood AU, Fluff and Angst

📍 Florida - The Daddiest Place on Earth by lovelarry10 @chloehl10​​ Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 24k, E Disney World, Social Media AU, Strangers to Lovers

📍 Georgia - An Invincible Summer by Brooklyn_Babylon @twopoppies​ Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 45k, E Historical AU, 1940s, Watermelon Farming 

📍 Hawaii - There Is No Place I'd Rather Be by orphan_account Liam Payne/Louis Tomlinson, 24k, T Lilo and Stitch AU, Aliens

📍 Idaho - A Road To Something Better by @taggiecb​​ Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 25k, E Writer Louis, Friends to Lovers

📍 Illinois - From the Start by @allwaswell16​​ Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 32k, E Fake/Pretend Relationship, Marriage Proposal

📍 Indiana - to know I'm gonna be alright by aiienharry @leedsau​​ Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, 61k, E Small Town AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers

📍 Iowa - The Grundy County Auction Incident by @haztobegood​​ Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 4k, T Farmer AU, Sugar Baby Harry, Livestock Auctions

📍 Kansas - As Long As You Bring Your Dog by heerickson Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 8k, NR College AU, Meet Cute

📍 Kentucky - fallin' and laughin' at the drinks we spilled by enbyharry @non-binharry​​ Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 14k, E Strangers to Lovers, Nonbinary/Genderfluid Harry Styles, Louis lives in a van

🗺️ PART 2 | PART 3

#one direction fanfiction #1d-library #1drarepairs #tracksintheam #haztobegood recs fic #trackinghome

[yeahimwiththeband]

-> with the band chapter 6

i’m not scared of you

A/N: dear reader, I fucked up. this is an edit of the previous chapter. if you’ve already read it, my bad - i have a new outline and have written the next six chapters, so this won’t happen again

with the band is a love on tour fanfic, slow burn harry style au. it’s like, harry from the darkest timeline in a fluffy, multi-chapter, romance about a girl with anxiety disorder falling in love for the first time. thank you so much for reading. i love any feedback, input, and criticism. this is my first story post on tumblr.

warning: angst, pining, minors DNI due to smut in the next chapter. with the band also deals with people pleasing behavior, anxiety disorder, body image issues, and codependency.

summary: izzy finally buys her own clothes. and harry is very, very worried about her. 

word count: 4.8k

Izzy was an hour early for the concert tonight, and instead of meeting Meg and Lydia in the parking lot outside, she arrived with the band in their van. They were all unloaded underground along with tons of equipment. The arena looked so bright and alien without the crowd and with all the lights on. Meg and Izzy sat on the floor in the pit  while Jess and her band set up. Lydia took photos of George from the wings. It was Saturday night and she was supposed to leave when the weekend was over with Meg. She pushed the thought of returning to her room out of her mind; she loved being around other people all the time, instead of alone living in her laptop. She loved everything about the tour.

She had changed into a different outfit, one George bought her that didn’t cut into her shoulders so much, and Meg was wearing some of her new clothes too. The boulder loomed in the back of her mind. Lydia’s words from earlier that day echoed like a car alarm: are you sleeping in his room tonight? Are you sleeping in his room tonight?

In the van on the way over, Izzy finally learned the basic facts about her new… friend? Weird groupie situation? George was her age, 23. George had been touring with Jess (the Starer) since he and Jess were 18; they went to high school together, joining band together (band!) in 9th grade. Their bandmate Olivia was a senior at the time and was now 26, maybe explaining why she was so chill, and Lisa was was Lydia’s age, just 21 (maybe explaining why she had no chill?). They had found each other in the small Vermont town where they were from, and just jumped into music. The only other person Izzy had met who were so sure what they wanted to do early on was Meg. She always knew it would be medicine; she was a physician’s assistant, just starting her first job a few months ago (she complained about it often, but she never doubted she was in the right field). Lisa shared that George had started out playing the tuba, which they all thought was hilarious and adorable. George changed the subject after that.

Harry was 28, and grew up working class in Manchester with a single mother. He didn’t tell her that - Harry never talked about himself. Izzy had to Google him.

George told Izzy that he had big plans: Jess Harper and her band were going to blow up. Opening for Harry was just the beginning. It sounded to Izzy like George had a humble beginning like hers. In his case, it was his dad worked a lot and his mom was checked out. He was often shipped off to this or that camp or just left to his own devices all summer—it sounded like Izzy’s many hours in the store, by herself. He played sports a lot, which explained his build. He wanted a trainer and a nutritionist (Harry had those) to support him on the massive tour. In the van, Ryan said he could get them just as soon as his social audience numbers hit a certain level. Lydia fell asleep during this conversation, totally nonplussed by the pressure on her work. The Jess Harper band was going to open for Harry at least through the American slots in the tour, and maybe Australia  and Europe too. For the rest of the ride, Izzy daydreamed about California and Italy. She had many pictures of both saved on Pinterest, on secret boards. Izzy thought of her own big plans, and what she wanted to do. She had loved books and botany growing up; she loved being outside, in nature, and always wanted to have a garden. George didn’t ask her any of this, and Izzy didn’t blame him; he was going on stage in just a few hours in front of more than 10,000 people.

When they opened the gates, Izzy and Meg retreated backstage. They joined Lydia in the wings, watching the band from the side. The show looked different from there, but not in the way that you would think. Seeing the chaos underneath made it only more impressive to Izzy, more magical.

Izzy watched women stare up at George from the audience just like she had last night, eager smiles lit up by the dozen as the lights swung around the audience. She could feel the stage vibrate with the drummer’s beat, a wall of sound that propelled the Starer’s voice out into the crowd. Lydia snapped pictures of George bounding on and off stage, catching his energy that he turned on for the crowd. At each costume change George and Jess would disappear with Ryan and reappear enough energy to power the entire arena.

When the band was on, Ryan hovered at the other side of the stage, eyes locked on his performers, mouthing the lyrics. Meg and Izzy laughed at him. At least he was dedicated.

BeReal, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat: Lydia and Izzy stole moments for all of them, Izzy anxiously watching the likes climb as Lydia lit a joint. Izzy, feeling protective of her little cousin, was going to say something, but the entire concert hall smelled like weed. And she was with the band now, and trying not to feel like a kid surrounded by adults. Lydia was a grown up and could smoke if she wanted to, Izzy decided.

George and Jess (the Starer) were thriving; the crowd seemed to go even crazier for them tonight than they had at the first concert. The crowd demanded two encores, unusual for an opening act.

When George ran off stage just as Harry was about to go on, he grabbed Izzy and kissed her in front of everyone. Like he was her boyfriend or something. Izzy thought to herself: do I have a boyfriend? Like, a real one? She felt high.

On stage, Harry seemed like a shell of himself. He was a smiling robot and his voice sounded hollow. He was even on time for his set. Izzy was disturbed.

Eddie was unsettled, pacing back and forth backstage, avoiding Ryan totally. As Eddie suffered, Ryan seemed to improve. Two more suited assistants followed him, and he seemed like the boss of the entire tour, ordering everyone around. Ryan was the manager assigned to George’s band when they signed up with Harry’s label, Sony, earlier that year. Ryan was a new hire there and seemed to be rising fast; he was going to ride the Jess Harper band to the top of the company, and pushing Harry’s sales up would help him get there too.

Harry played the set list Ryan had chosen. No Sign of the Times, Matilda, no Little Freak. No high kicking dance parties, and the base turned up so high on What Makes You Beautiful that you could barely hear him. The show was a big machine and Harry seemed like a cog in it for the first time. Meg actually yawned at one point. Izzy found it hard to watch.

Izzy checked Harry’s feed on her phone. He had so many more followers than George. His photos were effortless, and just breathed his energy (well, the energy he usually had). She slowed to a stop on the latest post, eyes catching on the comments at the top of the list.

jessH <3

↳ harrystyles 🤫

larry4ever222 OMG are they together?

jessH. The Starer. Izzy scrolled her account, too: photos of her raging on stage mixed with glimpses of a lifestyle Izzy had never experienced. Friends’ art shows, underground fashion events, videos from a trip to Europe.

Izzy gave the phone back to Lydia wandered out to the green room. The one here was decorated in the same style as the one in her city; all color and softness hidden away from the concrete and fluorescents of the machine that was backstage. She found a kettle behind the lucite bar and managed to make a cup of tea. Izzy didn’t know much about British people, but she did know that they liked tea. When she brought a cup back out to Eddie, he seemed to relax a bit, but his hands still trembled around the cup. 

“The label keeps siding with Ryan,” Eddie said, taking a shaky sip. “On everything.”

“Why?”

“He keeps showing them the ‘progress’ he’s making with Jess Harper. They think he’s a genius. They think I’m...”

“You’ve been Harry’s manager forever,” Meg said.

“Yeah,” Izzy added. “Harry is the biggest rock star in the world and you helped make him. I’m sure they see that.” Eddie shook his head. Izzy tried to lighten the mood: “I can’t imagine Harry getting anywhere at all without you. He can be kind of a baby.” 

“Can you blame him?” Meg said. “His music seems like a really big part of him and he’s losing control over it.” 

“Ryan is going to write the deal memos for the next shows,” Eddie continued. “Once he controls the money, I won’t have any influence at all.” 

Izzy didn’t know what to say. 

Meg stayed by his side as Izzy went back to the green room, suddenly wanting a cup of tea herself. Lydia sprawled out on the couch, her head in Olivia’s lap, passing a joint back and forth with Lisa.

The concert was over and Ryan loomed over the room from a corner, six suits around him. Harry came in and sat down near Izzy, by the bar. He leaned his head back against the wall.

“Do I smell tea in here?” Harry asked, barely able to turn his head toward her. 

“I made Eddie a cup,” Izzy said.

Harry smiled and closed his eyes. Just as he was about to say something—probably to ask Izzy to make him a cup—George burst in.

“I was looking for you babe,” George said. “Strategy sesh with Ryan. I’ll be back in 30.” He took off toward Ryan.

“Babe,” Harry spat under his breath, in a mock American accent. “You’re his babe now?”

Izzy felt anger boil up in her chest, which she wasn’t used to. “Yes, he likes me. I’m trying not to be offended by the surprise in your voice,” she said. “I do usually scare men off somehow, probably with my terrible clothes,” she said, gesturing down at her still-rubber outfit from that afternoon.

“And maybe your sense of humour,” Harry added.

“That too,” Izzy said, laughing a bit. She never thought of herself as having a sense of humour, but Harry was easy to joke with.

“I’m not scared of you,” Harry said.  

George reappeared, squeezing Izzy’s shoulders from behind. She jumped a bit, surprised. “Forgot something,” George said. He kissed her in his light way before vanishing again. Izzy gazed after him, stunned.

“I thought you were leavin’ after this weekend,” Harry said, his voice low and bitter. “It’s not like you’ll see him after that.”

“You don’t know that,” Izzy said.

She walked away from Harry and plucked Lydia’s joint out of her hand, taking a long drag. She sputtered and coughed, trying to suppress it as Lydia tapped her back. Her eyes were watering and at least it looked like it was from the smoke. She never had angry outbursts, always suppressing her feelings. But with Harry it’s like she couldn’t contain herself. When she came up for air, Harry was gone. The Starer wasn’t anywhere, either.

Meg had appeared at her side.

“You’re smoking?” She asked.

Izzy shrugged. What was wrong with trying it?

“I guess there’s nothing wrong with trying it,” Meg added. Lydia held out the joint to her, and Meg took one small inhale.

Through the smoke, Lydia and Lisa were discussing how Dimes Square was played out—Izzy had no idea what they were saying.

Meg pulled Izzy aside and shared her concerns about Eddie, who was worried about Harry.

“I know it’s bad,” Izzy agreed. “But Ryan is Jess Harper’s manager and they’re killing it. So maybe he’s not wrong about everything.”

“I thought you agreed that Ryan’s ideas for the show were terrible? I think the new set is awful.”

“George seems to really like him. How bad can he be?”

Meg was about to reply when George emerged from the back room, Ryan behind him. He was breathlessly excited about something.

“Izzy!” He grabbed Izzy’s hand.

“George!”

“The band needs you here. Ryan wants you to stay on the tour, past this weekend.”

“It’s good for the strategy,” Ryan said. “All hands on deck.”

“What?” Izzy said. It was all she could manage.

“I want you here. Two more weeks in New York, for the shows here.” George didn’t understand the shocks he was raining down on Izzy, words she had always dreamed of but had never heard before: I want you here.

“I—“ Izzy stammered. “I’m not sure if I can… my mom expects me to help her with the business, and—“

“I think your mom will be fine,” Meg said. “If that’s your reason Izzy, I don’t think that’s a good one. You haven’t been away for more than the length of a doctor’s appointment since the accident.” Meg never let Izzy get by with her bullshit. It was an excuse. It wasn’t the guilt about her mom and the store—Izzy was terrified at the prospect of two weeks with George.

George tapped his fingers against Izzy’s cheekbones, and held her face in his fingertips. “I want you to stay, Izzy. The band needs you.”

“You’re learning the social stuff fast,” Meg said. “You can do it.” Izzy felt fear climbing her legs and forearms like fire. Oh god, there was no way to stay that long on the tour without telling him about her greatest shame: the Boulder.

“I’ll stay if Meg can, too,” Izzy said.

“I think that’ll be fine. She’ll have to share with Lydia, which means you’ll have to stay with me, Izzy. I’ll check with Ry.” George disappeared again.

“I have a job, Izzy,” Meg said. Under her breath, she added: “You can do this on your own.”

“I really can’t,” Izzy whispered back.

“It would be most of the vacation time I’d saved.”

“Two weeks? Manhattan? Free hotel room? You could even have Mark visit for a bit!” Meg’s husband would be returning from a friend’s bachelor party next weekend.

Meg took out her phone, knowing Izzy would leave if she did. She had banked enough vacation time for a break. Her job said yes, which surprised her; she had done a lot of overtime, and it was paying off. Meg always complained about the clinic where she worked—it was physical medicine and rehabilitation, hips and knees and stuff, and she wanted to work with kids.

“I’m going to have to borrow all your clothes,” Meg said.

“Totally fine!”

The two hugged.

“Where did Lydia go?” Izzy asked. “I have to tell her that I get to stay.”

Meg gestured toward the arena.

Izzy stumbled on an obstacle as soon as she left the green room: the Starer. Arms folded, standing between her and the door to the pit. Had she overheard everything?

“You’re George’s girlfriend now?” Jess asked, ice in her voice. “That fits.”

“Thank you,” Izzy said, returning her tone. They were leading a band together; how could being with him be an insult?

“I think you and Ryan are sort of similar and could make a good team,” Jess said. Izzy wanted to speak up to disagree, but her voice failed. “If you let him do his work and stay out of his way.”

“Got it,” Izzy said. She couldn’t speak her mind around people like the Starer, people who she desperately wanted to impress.

“These are things we have to do to make it,” Jess added. “Forget making it, just to keep going, even.” Izzy’s confusion deepened. “An artist like Harry doesn’t have to, but we have to.” It sounded like Jess was defending herself, but Izzy didn’t know from what. Maybe Jess did sense that Izzy wasn’t like Ryan, and thought that Izzy was judging him and his methods.

“I’ve been trying to keep him away from Harry,” Jess continued. “He wants Harry under his portfolio and the label will get rid of Eddie if Ryan can show in the numbers that he’s better.”

“Ryan seems to have a terrible effect on him,” Izzy agreed. “Harry’s been even more of an asshole than usual, lately.”

“Harry needs to be around people like him. Artists, sensitive people,” Jess said in a warning tone.

Izzy knew this was intended as an insult. But she couldn’t say anything back. Jess’s message was clear: stay away from him.

“When we’re big like Harry, we can go back to doing what we want,” Jess continued.

“You guys are pretty big now,” Izzy offered.

“Not big enough,” Jess said. “You’ll see.” Ryan called her from inside and she went around Izzy into the green room.

Izzy could see clearly that Jess was an artist like Harry was, or at least that’s what she wanted to be; she didn’t like all the fake bullshit, the controlled set lists, the light show. George and his band, Harry and Jess. Izzy was on the outside. She would tell Meg her entire conversation that night back in the hotel room, while they were splitting up the clothes George bought her. Meg agreed that Jess was in love with Harry, that Ryan was a bad but necessary influence, and that they would stay for two weeks then go home. Meg sat by Izzy as she called her mom and explained that she was joining Lydia for two weeks on the tour as her assistant, making it sound as proper and normal as possible. Meg stayed with Izzy with a hand on her back while she sobbed after the call, sure that she was she was a bad daughter.

But before all of that, Izzy continued on to the arena, and hung back in the doorway.

Elijah idly tapped on his percussion set, creating a lazy beat that echoed around the hall. Lydia lay on the floor of the pit, a feather boa under her head. Her palms were pressed into her eyes, elbows pointing to the ceiling. Harry stood over her, a kind smile on his face.  It looked so strange with all the lights on, instruments in place for the opening tomorrow.

“Come on, broken hearted,” Harry said. Lydia didn’t get up. Izzy wore the same look of concern that Harry did. She had been worried about Lydia. She was so carefree and spontaneous and seemed so happy; but at the same time, she also seemed a bit lost.

Harry leaned down, stretching out both hands toward her. “No cure like dance,” Elijah said from the stage.

He seemed so much softer than he usually was.

Lydia lay on the ground.

“Fine,” Harry said. He lay down beside her, a few feet away. “It’ll be alright,” he continued, turning toward her.

“It definitely will,” Elijah said. He stopped playing.

Lydia inhaled and exhaled, then took her hands from her eyes. She spotted Izzy. Izzy asked what was wrong. Is it Mitch? Izzy thought. He disappeared after Harry’s set ended.

“Nothing,” Lydia replied.

“For the next two weeks, I’m basically not allowed near George because he has to focus, so I have to sleep in your room, sorry,” Izzy said. Lydia sat up.

“That’s fine, Izzy,” she said.

Izzy idly picked up an acoustic guitar leaning on a stand on stage. “What are you broken hearted about, Lydia?”

“Harry’s shit set list,” Lydia said, smiling.

“Thanks for that,” Harry said.

Izzy sat on the edge by Elijah and started fumbling her way through Volare, one of Lydia’s favourite songs from when they were kids. Hearing it brought back memories of Lydia dancing in the store, Izzy watching from the register. It was a song her grandmother had always put on.

“Two more weeks? That’s my entire residency here.” Harry protested.

“You’ll just have to suffer through it,” Izzy said.

Elijah hopped down off the stage and took Lydia’s hand. Izzy watched them dance, and Harry watched Izzy play.

When she finished the song, Elijah took over the guitar, playing something more upbeat.

“Do you ever dance?” Izzy asked Harry.

“Only on stage,” Harry said. Lydia booed him from the pit.

“Come on, broken hearted,” Lydia teased.

“Leave him alone,” Izzy said. “It’s fine.”

Izzy and Lydia found Meg and started their walk back to their hotel room in Dimes Square soon after, Harry making an excuse to stay behind (anything to get away from me, Izzy thought). Izzy wanted to walk, and they took a detour north first, happy to be outside, along the green edge of central park. Izzy held up her hand under the trees as they walked, feeling the leaves between her fingers.

“I wouldn’t be here without you,” Izzy said.

“Me neither,” Meg said. “Thanks, Lydia.”

“I’m your fairy godmother,” Lydia said. “Here to rescue you from your day jobs.”

“What are you broken hearted about?” Izzy asked.

“You were locked up in that store for so long,” Lydia continued, ignoring the question.

“But what is it, Lydia?”

“It’ll all work out how it’s meant to work out.”

“I wish you’d tell me,” Izzy pressed.

“You never tell anyone your true feelings about anything,” Lydia says.

“That’s true,” said Meg.

“But you always do,” Izyz said, “and now you’re being mysterious.”

Lyda sighed and looked up at the sky, clouded over with city lights. “You really love it here?”

“Bet. It’s so good to be around people my age,” Izzy said. “Listen to music and dance every night, spend time with you again.”

“I feel like I abandoned you. I left you behind.”

“No, no—that’s not what I meant. I left myself behind. Chained to the store. Like a little break on my part would have closed it forever.”

“It won’t. None of us are that important.”

“You literally rescued me. You’re a good person, Lydia,” Izzy said. “I’m glad I have another two weeks.”

Lydia gave her a bittersweet smile. “Then I’m glad, too.”

When they got back to their hotel room on Dimes Square, Lydia disappeared with her phone and Izzy told Meg about everything that had happened.

After she pulled herself together, she noticed a new box in the corner of the room. Two more new dresses, one for her and one for Meg. Same expensive designer, and blank card with the tour’s name on it. Izzy knew it was from George.

It was the pink dress that felt like water on her skin, her favourite one from the store. He did know her.

They fell asleep at three, wearing the dresses over their clothes. The next day, while Harry did an interview to promote one of his upcoming movies, George bought them bagels the size of their heads. They walked across the wide blocks between the Hudson and the East River, which George taught them to just call the East, around Soho, which George loved. They bought clothes for his upcoming appearances and Izzy and Lydia paused to catch the light, and some spontaneous expressions, for his socials on their phones. Then they returned to the arena, took a few rehearsal videos for the band’s main accounts, and watched the show from the wings. Izzy could hear all the pain in the Starer’s voice; she still got a full body rush when they came on. She really didn’t like Jess, but couldn’t hate her when she was on stage.  

Harry’s voice was still hollow, but he was a beast on stage. Izzy always stayed to watch Harry, looking for traces of what she saw on that first night. At the end of What Makes You Beautiful, he looked over his shoulder and caught her watching him. He grinned, pleased with himself. Izzy raised her phone, pretending to do something for social.

He walked over to Elijah and Naomi to say something; they smiled and nodded.

His next song was Cinema, but instead, they did Ever Since New York, which sounded a bit like James Taylor to Izzy.

“God fucking damn it,” Ryan said from behind Izzy. Izzy jumped; she didn’t know he was back there. He looked furious.

Harry glanced back at Ryan, grinning as he sang: Almost over, had enough from you

Izzy tried not to giggle.

“You’re a bad influence,” Ryan said as soon as Harry turned back around.

“I think he changed the song for you, not me,” Izzy replied, smiling.   

“George needs to focus,” Ryan continued. “He’s connecting with the crowd more than ever and we need to keep this momentum going. I’ll need your help.”

“Sure, Ryan,” Izzy said automatically. Ryan could kick her off the tour any time. 

“I need you on my side in this,” he said urgently. His face was close to hers; Izzy could see how bloodshot his eyes were.

“Yes,” Izzy said awkwardly. “Whatever you need.”

“You’ll stay with Lydia and Meg through this leg of the tour, in their room. I don’t need any distractions. I need him sharp.” Izzy was more relieved than disappointed. She had been so nervous about staying in George’s room and everything that would mean. Ryan’s phone started to buzz.

“Oh—”

“I need him sharp,” Ryan repeated. His vibe was intense, borderline manic. “We’re going to test you out in a few weeks. At the gala. We’ll see what the response is.”

“What do you mean by response—” 

“Thanks for being on George’s side,” he said. Ryan picked up the call, raising his phone to his ear, and walked off.

“What gala?” Izzy asked after him. Ryan didn’t turn around. When Izzy turned back to the stage, Harry’s eyes were on her. He swivelled back around to the stage fast and finished the song. 

you don't know nothing, just pretend you do

Izzy smiled. New York for two weeks with George. She could put up with Harry for a little while longer. Maybe she could stay for the whole tour.

chapter7

#harry styles au #love on tour au #love on tour fanfic #love on tour fic #love on tour fanfiction #harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fandom #harry styles fanart #romance #fluff #fluffiest #sofluff #caution writer in training #what is the hashtag equivalent of a learner's permit on the back of a car

[absoloutenonsense]

oooh all ur wips sound so intriguing!!! am i asking too much if i ask for more info on 1,2,8,10, 11 🤭🤭🤭🫣🫣🫣

😅Thanks for being interested in them!

FBI Agent/Radio Host -- this is my (almost) exes to lovers! It is currently in my beta's hands (where both of us are aware that I have probably another 5k to write, at least.

Au Pair AU -- Louis is an au pair for the Styles family, living just outside of Paris. Harry is a famous fashion designer getting ready for Paris fashion week when the mother of his three girls (a very famous actress living in LA) visits and causes a fuss. Lots of emotion stuff here, about obligations and wanting to do what's right for the girls, even if neither of them know what that is.

Narry 24 hour art gallery has four sentences in the doc, one of them being the prompt: "inspo: art galleries should be open 24hrs like what if I can’t sleep and wanna stare at a painting"

Alien Harry AU -- a sort of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy AU, where Louis meets alien Harry at a late-night party that H accidentally crashes. Eventually, we learn that H came to Earth basically on a sort of vacation when he learns that the planet is set to be destroyed, and pulls L along with him to help stop it.

#and i talked about the omegaverse one-off in a previous post! #thank you! #harryslonecurl #i do miss alien harry that was so fun to write

[theficpusher]

FIVE years of The Fic Pusher (!!!!!)

I’m truly floored that I’ve been doing this for five years. Anyway! Here’s another huge thank you to all the writers, betas, mods, readers, commenters, fic rec-ers, rebloggers, mood board makers, etc who keep this amazing community going!  Here are all the Fic Pusher Recs from the past year: Selkie Winter Olympics 1970s Nipples! 1800s Sex Tapes Early 1900s The Moon Regency Era Trying New Things 1980s & 1990s Het Sex 1920s & 1930s Church Sex Before the 1800s Alien Harry Styles 1940s & 1950s Small Towns Speed Dating Pride & Prejudice AUs Pirates Possessive A/B/O Hiking War Time Major Character Death World Cup Fics Office Holiday Parties Secret Santa YEAR ONE YEAR TWO YEAR THREE YEAR FOUR

#year five