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hayleythecannibal · 2 months

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Twisted Minds: Act II- Chapter Fifteen

TW: Crime scenes, Gore, Crying, Implied Death, Malpractice, Lying, Realization, Flashbacks, suspicion, Murder

Warning this is Fem!reader. You can also find this on Wattpad and A03 under the name @HayleyMarieOfficial. Comment if you want to be added to the taglist.

Taglist: @punkin-time @miaowkitty @gabriella-aesthetic @urlocalfanficwriter @dilfdemolisher

Twisted Minds Masterlist

BSHCI - THERAPY HALL - DAY-

“I've lost the plot. I'm the unreliable narrator of my own story.” Will sits across from HANNIBAL and DR.Y/N L/N, who stand behind a white line on the stone floor. Despite the defiance Will showed Hannibal when he last visited, he is more civil. He appears wrung-out. Haunted. “I'm trying to place myself somewhere in the frame of my mind and I have no bearings. No landmarks to tell me who I am.”

“You have an incomplete self. We are who we are in the now and we are the sum of our memories. There are pieces of you... you can't see.” I say gently, Will chews on his words before muttering: “I'm afraid to see. I don't know who I am anymore and I'm afraid.”

“Without remembering, you're seized by something imagined. It has the brilliant immediacy of a childhood fantasy and is just as real.” Hannibal says, Will hangs his head, trying to contain his emotions. “I don't know what's worse. Believing I did it or believing you did it... and did this to me.” He finally glances up at Hannibal, eyes brimming. I look at Will with a soft sad expression. I have to keep the act that i believe Hannibal is innocent in all of this. But its hard when you know the person you care about most is hurting.

Reminds me of when i was young….Mother always said i was the little butterfly who knew too much. Thinking back to where and who i am now versus what i did and who i was then is deafening. Not because i was a teenager, because quite frankly i was a very emotionally and mentally mature person back then. But Because of my actions. I would’ve done anything to protect my Mother before i knew what she was really doing. Maybe thats why I grew attached to Abigail Hobbs….Because she reminded me of well Me.

“Hannibal's not responsible, Will. And neither are you. We have to get to the truth of what happened. It's the only way you can move forward.” I lie, Hannibal is at Fault but will he ever admit it to anyone other than me and Will, Highly Unlikely.. Will forces himself to confront despite overwhelming emotion. “I felt so betrayed by you. All that felt real to me was the betrayal. I trusted you. I needed to trust you.” Will says to Hannibal, if i was him- lets not even go there. “You can trust me.” Hannibal says With earnest. Will winces, feeling the burn of wanting to believe Hannibal. “I'm... very confused.”

“Of course you are. Ideas and perceived experiences have the same effect on our minds as tossing a rock into a pond. It all ripples. Just dont throw the rock at the glass house of our hearts. It will shatter.” I say softly, my voice barely audible. “Don't trust blindly.” Will nods slowly, understanding my words. He stands up and walks away, leaving Hannibal alone with his thoughts. “Let us help you, Will. Let me help you.” Will clenches, holding his feelings at bay as he admits: “I need your help.”

He's finally overcome with the emotion and can no longer hold back the tears now running down his cheeks. I watch helplessly, desperate to make him feel better, deperate to hold him. But Hannibal, Hannibal watches curiously...

BSHCI - CELL BLOCK - DAY-

Will is led in shackles down the long corridor by a GUARD and a NURSE. Will's head is hung low, clearly still emotional from the confessional meeting with Hannibal and Y/N.

BSHCI - WILL GRAHAM'S CELL - DAY-

The door CLANGS shut and the guard and nurse step away. Will weeping quietly as the guard's

footsteps recede down the hall and end with a CLOSED DOOR. Once alone, Will's weeping ceases almost immediately. His face going cold and calculating... a game is afoot. And Y/Nis his player….

HANNIBAL LECTER'S OFFICE - WAITING ROOM - DAY-

BEDELIA DU MAURIER lost in pensive thought as she waits. Finally, Hannibal OPENS the door. “This is a pleasant surprise.” Hannibal says with a soft urprised expression. “May I come in?”

HANNIBAL LECTER'S OFFICE - DAY-

Dr. Du Maurier ENTERS, followed by Hannibal. She takes in the space. She smiles faintly, something clearly on her mind. “Please. Sit.” She doesn't. “I won't be staying long.”

“I'm curious. What couldn't wait until our next session?” Hannibal says as he looks at her with curiosity. “We don't have a next session. I'm no longer your therapist.” Bedelia says bluntly, she knows he can take the hit. Hannibal pauses, an imperceptible wound. “May I ask why?” Hannibal asks with a clenched jaw. “I reached the limit of my efficacy. I don't believe I can help you.”

“Are you giving me a referral?” Hannibal asks wry, “I'm not. I'm just ending our patient - psychiatrist relationship.” Bedelia says, uncomfortable in the postion he has put her in. “You tried to end it before.” Hannibal points out, he studies her carefully.

“I'm grateful for your persistence with engaging me after my attack. However, in light of all that's

happened with Will Graham, I've begun to question your actions. Particularly, what you might do with Dr. Y/N L/N. And Particularly, your past actions with regards to me. And my attack.” She says calmly and within reason. “Did you share these questions with Jack Crawford?”

“No. Nor am I going to. I would look just as guilty as you. And perhaps that's what you intended.” Bedelia says with fear softly entering her eyes. Though it might have always been there when it came to Hannibal. “What exactly am I guilty of?” He asks with a slight tilt of the head. “Exactly, I can't say. I had to draw a conclusion from what I glimpse through the stitching of the person suit you wear. And the conclusion I've drawn is... you are dangerous.” She says with trembling confidence. She knew better than to tell anyone what she knew he was capable of.

“I'm sorry you feel that way.” She studies him one last time, then: “Please don't come to my home again. I'll show myself out.” She moves to the door, opens it. Before she steps through: “I'm resuming Will Graham's therapy.”

“To what end? Besides your own.”

“He asked for my help.”

“Then maybe you deserve each other.” And with that she leaves.

BAU - MORGUE - DAY-

Roland Umber’s body lies on a slab. BEVERLY speaks across it to JACK CRAWFORD. JIMMY PRICE and BRIAN ZELLER are there. Me and Hannibal are there as well, silent and observing. “His name is Roland Umber. Has the same profile as the other victims. Lived alone, disappeared from home, large dose of heroin in his system.” Jimmy says as Zeller leans forward to see around Hannibal. “Only major difference is the eyelet punctures are all uniformly torn.” Zeller says as he indicates the torn punctures on Roland Umber's body.

“This victim wasn't unstrung. He was ripped from his moorings.” Jack says with crossed arms, I stand beside Hannibal, calmly gazing at the body.“Whatever his imperfection, it was enough to aggravate the killer into tearing him down.” Hannibal says gazing at the body with curiosity leaking out of the essence of his soul. “He was discarded in a tributary four hundred miles away from anything that feeds into the dam where the first victims were found.” Bev says with slight confusion.

“Like dandelion seeds, casts bodies in every direction but his own.” Leaning forward, Zeller finds Hannibal is in his way again. Hannibal steps back and bumps into Beverly. I lean on the empty morgue fridges with arms crossed. This body is different, I dont think he was an Imperfection at all…

“We know they're dead when they hit the water. Their lungs are dry. But the buffeting in the current causes so many postmortem injuries, you can't tell them apart from the ones they got when they were alive.” Zeller says as Beverly gently guides Hannibal to a more strategic spot.

“There may be trace evidence preserved in the craquelure.” Hannibal points out, i think he likes playing the role of my partner, or more so the role of Will Graham. “The what?” Jack asks confusedly. Hannibal points to a series of TINY CRACKS IN THE RESIN.

“It's French for the cracks that appear on an oil painting as it drys and becomes rigid with age. Cracks are not always weaknesses. A life lived accrues in the cracks.” I say for Hannibal, polietly dumbing it down. He gazes down upon me with a slight smirk. Like he was proud or amused.

“Could be something in there. Fiber, debris, might help track where the bodies were before they got dumped.” Jack is still puzzled by:“What do the victims have in common?” Jack asks as Beverly displays the victims' PHOTOGRAPHS on a table. “What if it isn't what they have in common. What if it's what makes them... different.” Bev suggests.

On the table, the victims’ PHOTOGRAPHS -- and Roland Umber's --are arranged as Will and I did to feature the victims as --“Each of these people has a slightly different flesh tone. It could be like a color palette.” Bev says, it causes me to smirk. I know where she’s going, i with the confirmation of Will, created the fucking theory Jack, Jimmy and Brian stare at Beverly, not sure where she's going. But Hannibal is. He nods, thinking.

“The color of our skin is so often politicized, it would almost be refreshing to see someone revel in the aesthetic for aesthetic's sake. If it weren't so horrific, We're supposed to see color, Jack.

That may be all this killer has ever seen in his fellow man. Which is why it's so easy for him to do what he does to his victims.” Hannibal says, “Which is why there will be a lot more bodies on his color palette.”

“A fascinating insight, Ms. Katz. It's as if Will Graham himself were here in the room with us.”

Jack turns his scrutiny from the photos to Beverly herself. “Yes, it is.”

BAU - EVIDENCE PROCESSING - NIGHT-

Hannibal stands over Roland Umber's body. At the back of the room, Price and Zeller are busy at work. Hannibal swings a metal arm holding a magnifying lens and asks: “May I?”

“Knock yourself out.” Zeller shrugs. His eyes drift back to the CRACKS IN THE RESIN-COATED SKIN. A notion floats behind his eyes and takes purchase. He leans in and very inconspicuously SMELLS the craquelure on the corpse’s wrist without drawing anyone's attention. His nostrils flare as he draws its scent. The craquelure is almost as if an alien landscape. Suddenly, the chemical compounds that create the scent become VISIBLE, forming TINY SPROUTS in the

cracks of the resin that begin to grow.

Hannibal stands upright after being bent over the body, looking through the magnifying lens. He considers the craquelure of the corpse and smiles almost imperceptibly

BSHCI - THERAPY HALL - DAY-

the THERAPY CAGES to find Hannibal running his shoe over the line of tape on the floor. Will sits on a stool in the belly of his own therapy cage. He has resumed his act of wounded bird and it remains authentic. “I've been advised to stay on this side of the white line.” Hannibal says with slight amusement. “Select patients have taken to urinating on the therapists. The stone you’re standing in front of? If it were wood, it’d be warped.” Will says with amusement in his own eyes.

“I would argue, drawing a line might encourage a pissing contest.” Hannibal suggests with a soft smirk. “I'm not interested in a pissing contest with you, Dr. Lecter. Please. Pull up your chair.”

Hannibal scoots his chair across the white line and sits.

“You said the light from friendship won't reach us for a million years, that's how far away we were. I hope our friendship feels closer today.” Hannibal says gazing up at the Caged Will Graham. “Friends have a symmetrical relationship. Psychiatrist and patient, that's unbalanced.” Will says, The power imbalance is something to always take note of when dealing with Dr. Hannibal Lecter. “There is a power differential between psychiatrist and patient. One that I'm well aware of, particularly with my own therapist.” Hannibal points out.

“But we're just having conversations.” Hannibal smiles, seeing a glimpse of the old Will Graham.

“You threatened me with a reckoning.” Hannibal says, remembering the day Will Graham changed. “I did. I can't claim unconsciousness on that one.” Will says with a quick raise of the eyebrow. “You were searching for something in your head to incriminate me. I can only assume you didn't find it.” Hannibal says inquiring, but i don't think he really thinks Will could find anything at all. “Not much in there I recognize.”

“Whatever you remember, if you do remember, will be a distortion of reality. Not the truth of events.” Hannibal says, Will could almost laugh at it. “I'm realizing that.” Hannibal studies Will, inscrutable as to what he sees. “Beverly Katz has come to see you.” Hannibal questions with curiosity. “Yes.” Will doesn't say anything about Y/N because he wants her to be the least suspicious person at the BAU.

”Does she show you pictures?”

“Yes.”

“Wouldn't want Y/N to worry you're dwelling on anything morbid in what's to be a time of recovery.” Hannibal says, almost guilt tripping Will. “It's the only thing that feels normal.” Will admits truthfully. “The violence?” Hannibal asks with a slight tilt of the head.

“The structure of understanding the violence. That feels normal.” Will says his cold gaze never leaving Hannibals. “You're missing pieces of yourself. Careful what you replace them with. What did you see in the pictures?” Hannibal advises. “This killer. He's not stringing his victims up. He's stitching them together. Every body is a brushstroke. He's making a human Mural. But Y/Nalso saw the same thing probably even more.”

“Why does he do it?”

“Y/Nsaid He's missing pieces, too.”

BSHCI - WILL GRAHAM’S CELL - DAY-

Y/N and Beverly stand on the other side of the bars, holding an abridged file of photographs and forensic data. “Dr. Lecter has advised me against dwelling on anything morbid.” Will says with sarcasm, I roll my eyes and continue towards the bars. “I know you want to stop these murders as much as we do.” Bev says to Will.“Reasons to stop multiple murders do occur readily to me, but I'm going to need something in return.” Beverly stares at Will, curious what game he's playing.

“There are things you don't have. I can talk to the chief of staff.” Bev says thinking Will needs something materialistic. “Chilton?” Will asks with a raised eyebrow. “He's being very cooperative.” Bev says, boy if she only knew What Chilton really acts like whewwww….

“Of course he is. He loves when I have visitors. He's recording every word. He's gossipy that way.” Will says with obvious annoyance towards Chilton. “He’s always been that way. What do you want, Will?” I ask Equally annoyed with the overly flirty and obnoxious Psychiatrist. “I'm wondering if you can get me the thing I really want.” Will says with curiosity “Try Me.” Beverly says confidently. “I want you to ignore all the evidence against me.” “You're right. I can't get that.”

“How many more colors is this killer going to add to his box of crayons?”

“Say I were to ignore the evidence against you, what then?” Beverly asks calmly, “Strike it from your mental record. Start over. If I'm guilty, you'll find more evidence. If I'm not guilty, maybe you'll find that too.” Will says as he leans closer to the bars of his cell. “All right. I'll keep looking.”

“Good. Let me have the file then. I'll tell you what I think.” Beverly puts the file in a tray, slides it through the bars. “Do you mind if I do this privately?” “Yes.” She places the folding chair against the opposite wall, sits.

He rips the envelope open, leaving torn edges where the staples were. He shakes BAU PHOTOS out of a padded envelope. Shots of Roland Umber at BAU. Will glances at Beverly

through the bars and returns his attention to the pictures. Will focuses on the photos and he CLOSES HIS EYES. A long beat before the AMBIENT CELL BLOCK SOUNDS are replaced

as the DRONE of Will’s BLOOD FLOW presides. He OPENS HIS EYES, glancing down at the himphoto in his hands, of Roland Umber's wounds. He lowers the photo to reveal Y/Non a metal table. We are --

BAU - MORGUE (HEIGHTENED STATE OF WILL'S MIND)

The environment is wrapped in shadow and mood. Will now stands over Caroline’s corpse on a metal table, Beverly behind him on the other side of the glass wall. Will stares at the RAGGED WOUNDS WHERE FLESH TORE AWAY FROM STITCHING. “Skin isn't as discolored as the other victims'. Looks fairly well- preserved, all things considered. Why would I throw you away?”

BSHCI - WILL GRAHAM'S CELL (OMNISCIENT POV)

WILL’S GAZE to the ENVELOPE the photos came in. Its end had been STAPLED SHUT, but when it was opened and where the staples were removed, THE PAPER IS TORN. “Did Roland Umber have any priors with substance abuse?” Beverly watches Will standing in the middle of his cell, as if he's in the BAU, his back to her in the corridor. “He was in an outpatient treatment program for drug addiction.”

“Heroin?”

“Among others.”

BAU - (HEIGHTENED STATE OF HIS MIND)

Will studies poor Caroline, dead on the slab. What a cruel trick his mind is playing on him.

“Had a high tolerance for opiates, the overdose didn't kill him. He survived what was done to . He tore himself free. He ran.”

BSHCI - WILL GRAHAM'S CELL - DAY

Will finally turns to face Beverly and Y/N. “How did he end up in the water?” Bev asks Will, but i already knew the answer. “Killer didn't put him there. He'd have put him back in the mural if he caught him. Other bodies were dumped. Roland Umber got away.” I say as i look to Will. “Got away from where?”

“This killer needs someplace private to do what he does. A warehouse, a farm, someplace abandoned, upstream from where the body was found. It'll be close to the water.” Will explains, exactly what i was thinking. “Thank you.”

“I'm curious. What'd Hannibal Lecter have to say about Mr. Umber?” Will asks causing me to softly snort out a chuckle. “He thinks the killer tore him down, dumped his body like the others.” I smirk and look at Will, knowing that we both know thats not necessarily what he thinks. “That may be what he said, but not necessarily what he thinks.” Will says basically reading my mind.

FARMYARD - GRAIN SILO - DUSK-

A GRAIN SILO looms behind, a royal sentry in a bearskin hat. Hannibal, his CLEAR PLASTIC SUIT over his traditional three- piece, crosses the property. He walks along the field of corn, toward the grain silo. He approaches the silo and regards a steep METAL STAIRCASE on

its outer wall, leading to a silo opening twenty feet up. Hannibal sees mud clumped on the lower steps -- STILL MOIST. Hannibal turns his gaze UPWARD from the locked door and begins to climb the metal staircase. Hannibal reaches the upper opening. He steps into the silo’s upper catwalk.

GRAIN SILO - CONTINUOUS-

...the TRUE ORDER in the carnage on the silo floor. SEEN FROM ABOVE, the mass grave reveals its intended form and purpose: The bodies, with their variety of shades and positioning,

form a UNIFIED PICTURE -- the image of a huge, GLOWERING EYE. A stern, unblinking representation frozen in resin and death. HANNIBAL Sees LIGHT come through the lower opening. A man -- THE KILLER -- enters with a lantern and a resin tank with a spray wand.

“Hello.” From the silo floor and behind the Killer who spins to see Hannibal in his plastic suit, watching from above. HANNIBAL with the utmost sincerity: “I love your work.”

FARMYARD - DAY-

A full-blown crime scene, populated by considerable local and state police presence. FBI PERSONNEL work amongst them. BODY BAGS have been lined up. Each pile flapping in the wind, weighted down with a heavy stone, ready to be filled. BEVERLY AND HANNIBAL approach the silo, navigating around the CRIME SCENE PERSONNEL and between waiting rows of body bags.

“You, Dr. Y/N L/N, and Will Graham are a good team. You gave us the "what" we were looking for. He gave us the "where." Corn dust in the craquelure.” Beverly says earnestly, “And Will's insight? And What does Y/Nbring to the team? “

“He didn't think Roland Umber was discarded. He escaped. We just had to go upstream from where his body was found until we hit corn. And Y/NGives us the Why…Her connection with others’ emotions along with what her and Will do with their imaginations….Shes the Triple threat…She can tell you the what, where, and why.” Beverly says with fondness of Caroline. Though Beverly does think that Y/Nneeds to take a break at some point.

“We do make a good team.” They approach Jack Crawford near the silo and Beverly hands Hannibal off. Jack hands Hannibal crime scene gloves. “Dr. Lecter. Follow me. Might want

to prepare yourself. You haven't seen anything like this before.”

“I'm sure I haven't.”

GRAIN SILO - DAY-

Jack and Hannibal head inside, MOVING ACROSS the expanse of bodies like dunes of sand made flesh. Hannibal takes in the magnitude of the horrific display. Jack turns to see him staring, genuinely awestruck. “How can being human go so bad?” Jack asks the obviously rhetorical question.“When it comes to nature versus nurture, I choose neither. We are built from a DNA blueprint and born into a world of scenario and circumstance we don't control.” Hannibal Answers.

“Praise the mutilated world.” Jack says grimmly, “I do.” Hannibal glances around, up into the ceiling, wondering: “What does it look like from above?” Jack hands him an iPad. On it, a DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPH reveals the human mural from above. It's very clearly an eye. “Fascinating.”

“This feels ritual. In the vicinity of voodoo. Is it human sacrifice?” Jack asks The stoic Psychiatrist. “I'm not sure if it's an offering, but it's certainly a gesture.” Hannbal says as he gazes at the Image. “To who?” Turning to the human mural, Hannibal points to the CAUCASIAn MAN in the fetal position at the center of the brown iris, one leg tucked under the other as if it has been amputated at the knee. We will call him the REFLECTED MAN.

“The eye looks beyond this world,into the next, and sees the reflection of man himself. Is the killer looking at God? A challenge of equals? "I can be as terrible as you. I can take and I can create."” Hannibal Inquires, “Sounds like human sacrifice to me.” Jack says with a raised eyebrow. Jacks Mind is very black and white. If there is evidence that proves someone guilty, he doesnt even stop to wonder if there was a possiblity of that person being framed. “Not to appease, but to defy.” Hannibal says as he stares at the mass grave. “Is it an existential crisis?”

“If it were an existential crisis, I would argue there wouldn't be any reflection in the eye at all.” Hannibal says genuinely, “Someone who could do this... are they likely to keep doing it?” Jack says as he looks at Hannibal. “This could be his beginning and/or his end.”

“You said he doesn't see people. He sees... material.” Jack says as he furrows his brows.“Those in the world around him are a means to an end. He uses them to do what he is driven to do.” Hannibal says inquisitively.

BAU - MORGUE - NIGHT-

The HUMAN MURAL is an ENLARGED PHOTOGRAPH. it's mounted on an easel between the bodies of Roland Umber and Reflected Man, side by side on tables. “No record of fingerprints. He was never arrested, never had a job that required any kind of security clearance or background check.” Jimmy says as he looks at the VARIOUS BODIES are present in the BAU, not only in the morgue, but in the hall, on tables, gurneys, morgue drawers. “Hopefully he's been to a dentist.” Zeller says as starts to take imprints of the body’s teeth. “Why am I looking at this man?”

“Stitch patterns on John Doe Twenty-One match Roland Umber.” Beverly says as she indicates the lateral stitches on both John Doe Twenty-One and Roland Umber; both travel similar lines. “John Doe Twenty-One was Roland Umber's replacement in the mural?” Jack asks confusedly, “But bigger.” Jimmy says as he indicates the leg, amputated below the knee. “Too big, really. Killer cut off his leg to make him fit.” Jack studies John Doe as Zeller, Price and Katz look on.

“He changed colors mid-brushstroke.”

"The eye looks beyond this world, into the next, and sees the reflection of man himself." There wasn't supposed to be a reflection. “This killer was having an existential crisis after all. How did he find his faith?”

BSHCI - THERAPY HALL - DAY-

Beverly Katz and Hannibal Lecter sit side by side, the personification of good and evil working as one. In the Middle is Y/N, The literal personification of Chaotic Nuetral. Will stares back at them, saying nothing. “Now you're just taking advantage. You're going to burn me out before my trial and then where will I be?” Will says Blankly. “Can't afford to let you burn yourself out for nothing, but maybe for something?” Bev retorts with a soft smirk. “What would Jack say?” Will says as he raises an eyebrow. “Jack Crawford's excellent administrative instincts are not often tempered by mercy.” Hannibal expresses with a light smile.

“Clearly. If you brought him as a psychiatric safety net, I've fallen through that net before. Y/N might be a better fit for that role for me. No offense.” Hannibal nods, none taken. I smirk and contain my laughter. Beverly cuts through Will's BS.

“I'm devoting a lot of time to this mural, Will. It's hard for me to focus on anything else I've been

tasked to do. Could use your help.” Subtle, but perhaps not subtle enough for Hannibal. Beverly

walks the crime scene photos over to Will. Will, getting the drift, begins to flip through the crime

photos, studying each momentarily before moving to the next. I drag my chair closer to Will.

“During the nineteenth century, it was wrongly believed the last image seen by the eyes of a dying person would be “fixed” on the retina.” As Will finds the overhead photo of the eye. “What would be the last image fixed on this dying eye?” He takes a breath, exhales, He grabs my hand and then closes his eyes. I know what i saw but- i can never be too sure. I close my eyes and squeeze Will’s hand.

A PENDULUM It swings in the darkness of Y/N’s mind, keeping rhythm with her heartbeat. FWUM. FWUM. Her eyes are closed. FWUM. The PENDULUM is now outside her

head. It swings behind Y/N, wiping away Hannibal, Will, and Beverly. FWUM. The PENDULUM swings and the CORRIDOR outside her cell PLUNGES INTO DARKNESS. FWUM. The PENDULUM swings and the floor under his feet goes completely dark.

The picture of the HUMAN MURAL FILLS FRAME reveals Y/NSTANDING IN DARKNESS. As LIGHT SLOWLY ILLUMINATES THE FLOOR AROUND CAROLINE, REVEALING DOZENS OF CADAVERS. We are --

GRAIN SILO - DAY (Y/N’S POV)-

Y/N stands amongst the mural of bodies, still holding the photo of the carnage in her hands. FWOOM. The PENDULUM swings and the photo disappears. FWOOM. FWOOM. The PENDULUM STOPS SWINGING, snapping into place as Y/Nsnaps into focus. she turns, taking in the bodies.

“I made you pliable. Molded you. Set you and sealed you where you lay. This is my design. A dead eye with vision and consciousness.” Caroline, a large speck of dust in the eye, stares upward, searching for what the eye sees. What the eyes owner Feels. Hopelessness. Finality.

“I am fixed and unseeing... unless someone else sees me.” Y/Nglances down at the Reflected Man in the mural. “Someone else has. They were here.”

HANNIBAL - BSHCI - THERAPY HALL (OMNISCIENT POV)-

Hannibal stands with Beverly, watching Y/Nand Will. He smiles an almost-imperceptible

GRAIN SILO - (Y/N'S POV)-

Y/N steps carefully over the bodies until...“One of these things is not like the other things. One of these things just doesn't belong.” ...she is standing over the Reflected Man. “Who are you? Why are you so different from everyone else? I didn't put you here. You... are not my design.” Suddenly, a NOISE from above causes Y/Nto look to the ceiling where a SILHOUETTED FIGURE watches from above, his antlers rising majestically into the air.

Y/Nnow lying NAKED, her LEG MISSING, her body CONFIGURED into the opening in the mural where the Reflected Man once was.

A NEEDLE SUDDENLY PIERCING Caroline’s forearm and pulling THREAD through, drawing the length through. She feels relaxed almost like a pliant material. She looks from the SUTURES through her arm to the one wielding the needle. The LIGHT SILHOUETTES THE FIGURE... until it SHIFTS and we see it’s HANNIBAL LECTER, eerily comforting. “Killing must feel good to God, too. He does it all the time, and are we not created in His image?” Caroline, immobilized, with a dawning realization...She looks up from the photo. We are now --

BSHCI - THERAPY HALL - DAY.

Beverly and Hannibal watch Y/Nand Will, waiting for them to draw a conclusion from their process. Y/Ntries to gather herself together, knowing Hannibal is watching her and Will closely. “The killer is in the mural.” Will speaks first, I stare blankly as i push my chair back to its origin. “What do you mean? Literally?” Bev says as her gazes goes from Will to Me.

“We mean, the man you're looking for has been sewn into his own mural. This man.” I say gently, my hand goes to my hair. A comforting thing ive done since i was a child. My Dad used to play with my hair to comfort me when i was upset or stressed. Something ive taken to doing myself ever since the incident when i was a 16.

“What happened to his leg?” Bev asks confusedly, “Whoever sewed him in... took a piece of him. As a trophy. Question is, who sewed him in.” Will says as he watches my actions with a worried look in his eyes. “He must have had a friend.”

RIVER - DAY-

Will Graham fly fishing. He casts his lure and watches it land with a small PLIP that breaks the surface of the river. He shades his eyes from the sun, his gaze falling to the water flowing around his waders. A PALE BODY DRIFTS BY just beneath the surface. Will startles as a KLAXON SOUNDS. We are --

BSHCI - WILL GRAHAM'S CELL - DAY-

Will stands in the middle of his cell. Footsteps approach from down the hall and a chair SLIDES on the concrete floor. His eyes follow the action, “I don't know you.” The figure steps into the light revealing Bedelia Du Maurier. She sits across from Will “My name is Bedelia Du Maurier.”

“You're Hannibal Lecter's therapist. What's that like?” She studies him, somehow identifies with him. “I've heard so much about you and Your Partner, I almost feel as though I know you both.” Bedelia says as she gazes at one of the topics of the many conversations shes had with Hannibal. “You don't.” Will says with a wary eye.

“No, I don't, but I understand you better than I thought. I wanted to meet you before I withdraw.” Bedelia admits, she understands his wariness she herself too is wary of her decisions. “What are you withdrawing from?” Will asks curiosly concerned. “Social ties.” Bedelia says numbly, It wont stop what or whos coming for her but it will slow them down. “You're a psychiatrist. Isn't our sense of self a consequence of social ties?” Will Questions confusedly.

“It certainly is in your case. It may be small comfort, but I am convinced Hannibal has done what he believes is best for you.” Bedelia says gently, she doesnt just mean What Hannibal has done to Will but What he will do to Caroline.

“That's not small comfort, that would be no comfort.” Will says with slight sarcasm. “You can transform this experience. The traumatized are unpredictable because we know we can survive. You can survive this happening to you.” Bedelia says with shaky confidence. “Happening to me.” Bedelia steps right up to the bars.

“Step away from the bars. Ma'am, step away from the bars.” GATE KLAXON SOUNDS as a NURSE and GUARD ENTER the cell block. Will Graham joins Bedelia at the barrier of his cell and she whispers so quietly she may be only mouthing the words: “I believe you.”

A nurse and guard approach from down the corridor. “Okay. That's enough. Come with us.”

Will stares at her, a wave of emotion washing over him as Bedelia steps away, gathered by the nurse and a guard and escorted back down the corridor. He begins to tremble. A great relief

having heard three simple words he's needed to hear from someone other than Caroline.

BEDELIA'S HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT

THE SOUND OF A KEY IN THE DOOR Breaks the quiet. LIGHT SPILLS in as the door opens. Not Bedelia but Hannibal who enters with a key of his own in his GLOVED HAND. The transparent plastic of his bespoke CRIME SCENE OVER-SUIT catches the light of a distant streetlamp. He quietly moves inside, closing the door behind him. THROUGH THE ARCH OF THE LIVING ROOM Hannibal creeps further into the hall and asks the darkness no questions.

He turns to the living room as to reveal almost every piece of Bedelia's furniture is beneath a clear plastic cover. All the furniture has been protected against dust for an indefinite period of time. He takes in the shroud over the chairs. He walks the room's periphery, searching for some sign that she isn't truly gone. Hannibal pauses and sees something on Bedelia's chair. A CUT-GLASS PERFUME BOTTLE Hannibal takes in the shadow of Bedelia's fragrance and picks it up, considers it for what it is: a memento of friendship. “You’re not alone, you know…”

GRAIN SILO - DUSK (FLASHBACK)-

The Muralist is lying, unclothed, in his own mural. He is configured into the space from which Roland Umber pulled free. A SHADOW cast by the gas lantern moves over him. HANNIBAL Is in his plastic suit, kneeling, the syringe in hand. “In The Resurrection, Piero della Francesca placed himself in the fresco. Nothing flattering -- he depicted himself as a simple guard asleep at his post. Your placement should be much more meaningful.” The Muralist's face, increasingly complacent, clouds over: “It's not finished.”

“I'm finishing it for you. We'll finish it together.” He trades the hypo for a LARGE CURVED NEEDLE and FILAMENT. Hannibal LICKS the tip to thread latter through the former: “When your great eye looked to the heavens, what did it see?” “Nothing.” Hannibal glances up to the roof of the silo. “Not anymore.” “There is no God.”

“Certainly not with that attitude. God gave you purpose. Not only to create art, but to become it.”

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Your eye will now see God reflected back. It will see you.” Hannibal leans over and begins SEWING the man down. “When God looks down at you, don't you want to be looking back at Him?” Hannibal sews. Blood flows. And sews. More blood. Then, incredibly: “Yes.” As the narcotic takes hold, his life ebbing away, the Muralist recalls their agreement: “What is it you wanted from me?”

“Only this.” Hannibal stitches the Muralist into his own masterwork, making Will And Y/N’s forecast come to pass. A valentine. And just as Will and Y/N intended.

#hannibal nbc #hannigram #fem!reader #hannibal x reader #hannigram x reader #will graham x reader #twistedminds

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ojun888 · 2 years

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A Cry For Help?

Well, I don't really know where to start or even what exactly it is I wan't to say. I guess a good place is that I've been in a really bad space mentally ever since the start of summer. It started probably because my girlfriend of a little under 2 years had broken up with me, however as time goes on and therapy continues I realize more and more that most of my mental health issues have been there long before that relationship. I've come to really realize these things that I was aware of, but not truly understanding of. One of these problems being my heavy emotional dissociation. This makes it super hard for me to be emotional in times of emotion, i.e. when My ex broke up with me I literally couldn't cry or really express any emotion externally or fully feel them internally. (I want to focus on this phrase "fully feel" because I probably will end up using it more so I feel it important to elaborate on what I mean. Even though I am aware of emotions that I have and can "feel" them, its extremely distanced and nothing as deep as most people. So in future use just know when I say "fully feel" its to describe either the lack of fully feeling or that I did fully feel.) Anyways back to the point of dissociation, I at first thought this was a bad thing, but after a shroom trip I had I actually realized it was probably a good thing for me. During this trip I was put in touch with a part of me that I never really was fully aware of, in short the deeply depressed side of myself. During the tripped I stopped talking (I did it with friends) for the vast majority of the trip and realized that I believe everything is pointless. I've learned that I dont have anything driving me forward in life, and not in the sense that I am lost or dont know what I want to do in the future, because I do and am working towards that goal, but in the sense that it feels hollow. Everything feels empty, I just, well frankly I just want to die. However, reader, don't feel concerned because at least for now I don't have any plan on killing myself. The frustrating thing is that I'm doing things to get help and feel better, like therapy, activity, socializing, and really anything you can probably think of but they just aren't really helping. At most they feel like a short distraction then I'm immediately plunged back into the darkness. I write this now from my dissociated state where even though I am aware of these feelings I have I don't fully feel them. I'm honestly surprised I even wrote this as I would normally think it's cringe, and still do think its cringe, but I just need to put it out ig even if its to some strangers over the internet, or if no one even reads it at all. I wish I had something profound to say or a lesson to impart but I don't. feel free to ask questions or comment I'll do my best to respond if there are any.

#mental health #problems #mental instability #drugs cw

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koolkat9 · 2 years

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Uh- hello- i have an ask based of that writing question game but like my own i guess. So I’ve been wanting to get into writing for Hetalia for a while now, but I dont really know what to write or even when i do I dont have any motivation. So Im mostly asking how did you start writing for this fandom? And any other tips-

Oh no problem. Happy to help!

So I started writing probably like 2 and half years ago after reading a book called Fangirl in which the main character is a fanfiction author. After reading that book I was like "now I want to write fanfiction." I narrowed down what character and then what pairing I felt the most comfortable writing for. I knew from the beginning I wanted to write for England because he was my favorite character and often times in fics (at least the ones I read at the time) they would characterize him in a way that I didn't care for or outright disliked. Around this time I had just finished watching Erroneous Epilogue and was really big into GerEng (I say that as if I'm still not really big into GerEng lol) so while thinking of a pair I ended up deciding on GerEng because I didn't feel like I could write well enough for Feli or Francis (my OTPs at the time for Ludwig and Arthur respectively) and it didn’t have a lot of fics especially on Wattpad which is where I started writing fics. And then I just...started writing.

GerEng was very easy to start up with because I had some good material with the Christmas Truce and even before shipping GerEng I liked the idea of Arthur and Ludwig getting together around Christmas time and having a soccer/football match each year. So adding a bit of romance to that I was able to write my first fic and started up the GerEng One-Shot Collection (now that I’m looking, it doesn’t look like a posted that fic to ao3. Imma have to fix that). And I’ve been writing ever since. Eventually, once I came to Tumblr, I began to expand the characters and ships I covered with the help of accepting people’s prompts, but that was after I became comfortable enough with just GerEng.

So if you end up posting your fics, Wattpad is a pretty good place to start. It’s very user friendly though I rarely read fanfic on there anymore because a lot of it isn’t really my taste (plus there is not a lot of content for most rarepairs compared to ao3). Another downside is that I feel is that the way things are presented, there is more pressure to get a lot of votes/readers/commenters because they’re so clearly displayed and they literally show where you rank in a certain tag. That may be just me though. I found after moving to ao3 I didn’t care as much anymore, though that could have been because I had matured some. Ao3 is my favorite fanfic platform to post to. It has a surprising amount of content for rarepairs like GerEng. Not huge, but large enough to keep me occupied for a little while. I find writers on ao3 to be a bit more mature and more experienced with fic writing most of the time, but frankly the user base seems older compared to Wattpad (which seems to be primarily used by young teens) so it makes sense. It can be a bit overwhelming though. You have to request an invite, it took longer to get used to compared to Wattpad and so on. But it’s great once you get the hang of it.

So tips...I am in no ways an expert, but this is some things I’ve learned through writing and things that worked for me. This got kind of long so I’ll put it under the cut:

Don’t push yourself. Take breaks, take all the time you need to finish a fic. This isn’t your life and you shouldn’t feel rushed to finish. You make the deadline for it and you can push it back as many times as you need. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. (Unless your in an event. That’s a different story. But even then, don’t push yourself and plan ahead as much as you can)

Write for YOURSELF first and foremost. I started fanfiction for a rarepair I really loved and wanted to see more fanfics for. Likes, reblogs, comments, etc. are great and one of the best motivators, but I find I’m happiest with a fic if I can go back and reread it over and over again because I love it so much. Those are the fics I’m proudest of. I always write for myself first thus fic writing never feels like a chore.

Don’t take it too seriously. By this I mean don’t worry about if it sounds clunky or you aren’t describing things properly, or your grammar isn’t perfect. As a perfectionist I know this is sometimes hard for people, but I’m learning to be gentle with myself, reminding myself that I’ll be happy as long as the character interaction is cute and that it’s not like I’m being graded for this. Most people won’t care as long as they can understand what you’re saying, you break it up into paragraphs and in Hetalia fics specifically, you don’t write in the accents (ex. writing Zhe instead of The to reflect a French or German accent). After all, you shouldn’t feel stressed and you should be writing for the fun of it.

Speaking of having fun, if you find yourself stressed take a step back and try to figure out what about fic writing is stressing you out. Are you pushing yourself too hard? Then take a break and remember there is no deadline for fics regardless of what others say. If you feel short on ideas, read others fics, listen to music, come up with headcanons. There are so many ways to get ideas flowing and that list is what I find works for me. Are you trying too hard to please others? Focus back on you and what you want out of this fic. Sure consideration for your audience is good to have, but again, focusing on your own wants first usually reduces stress. Are you focusing too much on things like sentence structure, grammar, etc.? This is where most of my stress comes from most of the time especially since I’m now an English major so I need to care about this stuff for school. When that happens and I don’t know exactly how to fix it, I tell myself that this clunky or incorrect part is just one part, and most of the time I can get myself motivated again by focusing on the fluffy interactions that are usually to follow (which is what matter most to me when it comes fanfiction).

If you are worried about your grammar, technical aspects, etc. have a beta reader or someone give you feedback. Personally I never did this, but others have. I would be happy to beta read for you if you choose to do so. If you’re too nervous to reach out to others (like I am), you could also use Grammarly. They help with basic issues like comma usage, spelling, etc. and may catch mistakes you as the author don’t always pick up on or your doc program doesn’t pick up on (Google Docs’s autocorrect is not the greatest speaking from personal experience). Also, reread your fic before posting to make sure you’re saying what you want it to. So many times I go back and realize I used the wrong word in a section. Like most could probably understand what I was trying to say, but it makes me cringe every time. A lot of times Grammarly and spell/grammar check in the doc program your using won’t catch these things because they are spelled right and sort of make sense in the sentence. But don’t be too hard on yourself if this happens, this is just something I wish I knew when I was first writing fics. Plus, going back and rereading may give you new appreciation for your fic.

Your fic is not as bad as you think it is. So many times I’ll be writing a fic and think “This is horrible” “the characters are occ” “it’s clunky” etc. But then I’ll go back and reread it either in editing or after it’s been posted and I’ll be like “Holy shit this is actually one of my best fics.” That’s how I felt about “For You I’ll Try.” I literally almost didn’t finish it because I thought Arthur was ooc. Then I returned to it a few months later and realized it actually was pretty good.

Don't feel pressured by things like is this character ooc. Especially in fandoms like Hetalia where a lot of traits are left to be filled in or molded by fan headcanons, it's hard to make a character ooc. Even though I hate on 2012 fanon Arthur, I still strongly believe that those fic writers can write Arthur that way if they want. I just personally don't like it and rant about it to people who have similar opinions as me. At the end of the day these are fictional characters that you get to play with and mold as you see fit.

Handle serious topics carefully. Mental health, historical events, etc. should be researched and written with care. Even with the best intentions, things can go wrong, so sometimes it’s best just to steer clear of those topics entirely (like I do with WW2). If you really wanted to, there is always the option of writing it, but never sharing it publicly.

Write down whatever ideas pop into your head or that you’ve found around you. This is advice I got at university when it came to composition. Write down quotes, phrases, plot points, whatever comes your way that may act as inspiration for a fic. You may use it right away, later or never. But it’s best to get it down so it’s there. It really helps if you don’t have the motivation to write and it’s a laidback way to keep your creativity flowing without consuming a lot of time. Also outlines. Outlines help when I don’t have the motivation to write out a full blow fic, but I have a lot of ideas I want to write.

Talk to people. Not always the easiest or necessary, but a lot of my fics were inspired by aus or headcanons I’ve discussed with others. For example, my Vampire, Werewolf and Merman au which is basically my baby at this point was inspired a lot by my discussion with Lycuriz. I don’t know if it would have become as expansive as it is if it wasn’t for those discussions between Lycuriz and myself. I would be happy to do this with you if you would want or the GerEng server would also be a good place if you want to talk to others.

And that’s all I think. These won’t work for everyone of course, but they have helped myself and others and hopefully they can help you too as well as others who see this.

#hetalia #hws #fanfiction writer #hetalia fanfiction #fanfiction #tips #fanfiction tips

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vvh0adie · 6 months

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can i just say that any writing done for free on the internet is not up for professional publishing critique

my thing is: unless i go on your blog and see the content you reblog/make pertains to some nasty heinous shit

(incest/race play/pedophilia/beastiality; meaning this is who you are as a legit person and you actively promote it in positivity)

then i go check your masterlist and its sewn into the fabric of your fics, imma side eye you, report, and block.

but lets be honest i would hope ppl just report/block during the first scroll cuz i don’t know why we’d want those type of people on tumblr anyway. tho we’re not here to discuss that further and definitely not another time. if you know you’re into the shit i listed above FOR REAL, get the fuck off my blog and play in traffic.

but if someone writes something you don’t like or if you think their writing isn’t up to gramatical/literary standard, don’t get in the fucking comments or asks to tell us that. we do this shit for fun. this isn’t fucking goodreads.

ALSO DONT REBLOG FICS YOU DIDNT ENJOY AND RATE THEM AND LEAVE BAD REVIEWS IN THE FUCKING POST. WE CAN SEE THAT SHIT!!! THIS GOES FOR TUMBLR, AO3, AND ANYWHERE ELSE THAT HOST NON-PROFIT FICTION WORKS.

(and no kofi and patreon don’t count as profit, if an author explicitly tells you that you will have access to their wips and early access to fanfiction that will eventually go onto tumblr or ao3. you already knew to expect some hobbyists writing. and you need to know from reading the already free content on their blog, that you like their writing well enough to invest in it. it doesn’t make sense to pay for something you KNEW you already hated. if it just so happens that you’re author sets a standard above what you consider fanfiction writing and it feels more professional, then lucky you…… it’s still not up for critique. that’s just means someone took their craft “serious enough”)

i also see you bitches who put ACTUAL FICS INTO GOODREADS! HAVE YOU LOST YO DAMN MIND CUZ LEMME HELP YOU FIND IT QUICKER THAN MOSES PARTED THE SEA!

when people come to your fic recs, they are most likely not looking for bad fics AT ALL, they’re hoping you’ve done your due diligence in curating a collection of fics you deem amazing so they DONT have to sift thru “bad” fics. you making more work for yourself and other readers.

but some of y’all love to be negative and get wet from twiddling your thumbs on this keyboard to spew unnecessary or productive “criticism”. unless we asks or have a link to a feedback box/google forms, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

social platforms besides goodreads are not here to help reader experience. goodreads is the place to leave reviews for BOOK YOU EITHER PAYED FOR OR THE AUTHOR HAS PROFESSIONALLY PUBLISHED FOR WIDER CONSUMPTION.

i love goodreads too and criticism of books I FIND AT BARNES AND NOBLES😁… because i’m able to avoid things like bad grammar, bad literary skills, poc and queer trauma porn, and other shit i don’t wanna be exposed to.

what i do think is valid, is asking a fic writer to tag properly. i’ve read shit and been blindsided cuz “dead dove” tags weren’t added. i’ve even asked and they’ve made it a point to belittle me. i thought it was a good fic in terms of plot but i wanted to be able to blacklist those words for if they wrote more content. but they completely turned me off due to how they responded so i just never wanted to read more of their work.

i didn’t harass them because frankly it had content i didn’t like (not anything that would make me question their overall morality, unless you count the not tagging, but that’s a bit much). instead i just blocked them and moved on.

there have been times where the grammar in a fic was really bad, the formatting of a fic had huge gaps that made reading difficult, or they didn’t put a cut on their fic. i didn’t contact them, i just blocked them.

so for the love of baby jesus, just block. only when you feel that something DETRIMENTAL is being posted like WHITE SUPREMACIST MANIFESTO or SOCIALLY TABOO type shit is being PROMOTED (they need to actually believe in this shit) in someone’s writing and has built a following of like-minded people, then really the troops so we can deal with it.

but bad grammar or that yandere fics with non-con in is not something to be harassing people over.

(some folks writing language is not their first so they’re learning thru writing or they’re a native speaker who still messes up/has a disability and just because some likes to write/read dark fics doesn’t mean they advocate such acts. plus while it may not be the healthiest, it’s some people’s coping mechanisms and i can’t blame them cuz a good therapist is hard to find and even harder to pay for —at least in the US)

so go read shit you actually like. and if you just so feeeeel it in yo spirit to rate some fics and leave bad reviews download Calibre Library and have at it. it is only seen by you and on your computer. so make that your lil hate diary or whateva🙄

anyway duces. i just had to say a lil sumn cuz i saw one of y’all attacking the homies. i love my moots and i miss the ones that left becuz of the bullshit💜💜💜

also if anyone thinks i left something out or wants to correct something feel free to tag me or reblog💖

#preacha plym

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mushroom-wonderland · 1 year

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Hi, Ive been inactive for a hot min but Ive been meaning to make a post about this, so: Goncharov(1973). Ive been OBSESSED with this movie you guys !!! So I OBVIOUSLY went to look through the tags and There is so LITTLE Sofia content !!! And ESPECIALLY her as an individual charater separate from Katya (WHICH IS SO UNFAIR BTW. I MEAN CMON GUYS !! I KNOW SHE DOESNT HAVE AS MUCH SCREENTIME AS KATYA BUT SHE'S STILL HER OWN CHARATER !!!) SO.

(Warning !! Spoilers !!!!) Here's my rant about her:

People so so often disregard her because they only see her as an escape for Katya. Yes Katya and Sofia DO have several romantic scenes and it IS implied that Sofia is Katyas escape from the cycle of violance because she is not who she's expected to run away with (I mean, most people would think that in one of these classic mafia movies either the woman runs away with another man, returns to her husband or leaves completly) here the expectation is clearly subverted with her choosing Sofia. Now that's a great thing ! And their relationship SHOULD be explored ! But Sofia should be explored as her own charater. Now we know the famous Apple stand scene in the marketplace. But most people just lightly brush over it or just ignore it completly. I want to dig deeper into it though. So that scene is our first introduction to Sofia, and quite frankly, it does a great job introducing her! We see the type of person she is from the start. Someone as desperate for freedom as Katya, playing both sides (you can tell by the way she haggles with the customers at her stand and gets them to pay higher than the original price while also laying low with the next customer and choosing to add more fruits to his basket so he doesnt cause a scene.) Now what I love about her charater is how she's handled. She was a poorer woman selling apples and other fruits in a market place but after her encounter with Katya she's irreversably changed. Katya presents her a world of luxury. The ball room scene and the pearl necklace scene being key parts of this. When we first meet Sofia she has her hair tied back, utalitarian clothing. The more and more she spends time with Katya, the more refiend her taste becomes. Katya gifts her a pearl necklace for crying out loud ! If that's not rich people stuff than I dont know what is. Now, Sofia is completly head over heels for Katya. She adores her. Maybe its the money talking of maybe its Katyas personality. We dont know. Until we do. The cigarette scene. After Sofia witnesses Ice Pick Joes murder at the hands of Katya and after the threat of death and/or jail from the police for being involved in the mafia we see Katya and Sofia talk. REALLY talk. Not just the light heated jokes, flirtasious comments or Katyas requests for Sofia to be her cover for all the situations she gets it. They genuinely talk. And Sofia talks about her struggles of the lower class life and how she chose to go along with Katya because she provided a better life. And then Katya tells her about all the things she went through, her loveless marridge, her plans of revenge, all the things she suffered through. And Sofia has the option to leave ! Katya tells her could just hand her money and she can leave this mess because Katya doesnt want to drag her as well into this. But Sofia choses to remain. She sees the real Katya. She sees the hurt woman that has been tired and pained for years now. And she choses to stay. And I think she was the one to break the cycle of abuse. Because after Katya gets hurt in that boat house Sofias the one to help her back up and to finish what she started. And Sofia told Katya to bring the gun over on that bridge. And after Katya had her revenge. Sofia was the one to ask if it was worth it. And thats when Katya realized what shed really done. And I think that without Sofia Katya wouldn't have been able to understand and finally realize that there really are good people on this earth and that you dont need revenge or deserve/suffer the pain you go through in life. And I think that Sofia was also a really smart charater, rivaling Katya herself ! They both had theyre witty banter and jokes. So anyways Sofia is underrated.

#unreality #goncharov #gonchposting #goncherov #sofia goncharov #goncharov (1973)#martin scorcese

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pickinpetals · 2 years

Text

Sept 27,2022

Mom texted this morning while i was in class, she asked me to call her when i can. This usually means it’s important and with everything going on with my dad, i was worried so I asked her if it was an emergency. She “read” the text and after a few minutes she responded. Those few minutes she took to reply almost killed me. But then she unloaded the events of the last few days that occurred between her and my sister. This past weekend Amanda got really drunk, was throwing up, shaking, and wanted to be taken to the hospital but Eddie and his mom said no. My mom was unloading all her worries; alcohol poisoning, trusting Eddie and his mom to care for Amanda, Amanda’s judgment of their character and Amanda’s overall well-being. As far as the alcohol poisoning goes, I’m not sure Amanda had it or not because I’ve also been really drunk to the point where I was so uncomfortable and scared and wanted to be taken to a hospital but neither I or Amanda were ever tested to confirm our fears so the scientist part of me wants to believe that alcohol poisoning is just a theory because it can’t be proven at the moment and the symptoms are more severe according to google.I couldn’t say that though because my mom wouldn’t actually consider the possibility, what she thinks/knows is law and no one could say otherwise. Even if a doctor themselves came to her with bloodwork and said Amanda wasn’t poisoned, my mom would then say, “but in my experience it really seemed like poisoning and I know my daughter best”. So all I did was ask if Amanda was tested and left it at that. I sympathized with her, trying to let her know I could feel her worry. But when she goes on about not knowing how to handle Amanda, if she’s failed as a mother, etc. I can’t help but feel like this is when she’s waiting for me to offer advice or counseling. As her daughter I’ve somehow always fell into this role with her over and over. For example, with my parent’s divorce (and every other quarell bt her and Amanda) I took on the role of therapist for her. I’ve been trying to remove myself from that role because it’s brought me massive amounts of anxiety and frankly it feels wrong: As a daughter (and therefore and inferior, which she’s never let me forget) why am I offering you (the self-established “boss”) advice on parenting (a subject I have no experience or responsibility in). And wouldn’t a therapist or scientist say I have a biased oppinion so therefore shouldn’t be interfering? She tries to force me into that role when she needs it but then when she feels threatened she pushes me back down with insults and reminders that I’m smaller and inferior to her:“you’re the child im the parent” “you’re not the boss, I am” or “you’re so disrespectful, learn to respect your elders” type of comments get thrown around. I try to draw lines by offering comfort or validation on her feelings in certain aspects, like her concern for Amanda as someone who loves her, but try to stay out of areas where she needs validation/advice on parenting techniques like when she asks what she should do/how she should handle it/ or when she asks if the action she took was valid. This time, I excluded myself from the topic by saying I had to go, I was getting ready for my next class. It worked for a while, then a few hours later she threw out a cry of desperation as a last attempt, the classic: “im a terrible mother and I’ve failed you both”. I lost it. I said ‘this is ridiculous and maybe a therapist might offer her more help because as a daughter I’m conflicted. I dont know how to help you here, this isn’t my place’. Then in another desperate attempt, ‘I have, they said to cut all ties with you two because you’re too spoiled’. I didn’t reply. I don’t know why this classic chain of events always happen right around when school starts. On one of my busiest days too

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thewhizzyhead · 3 years

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yay!!! friend-friends!! :D

and... *sigh* rant time.

please note that I have never watched or listened to this musical, nor do I ever plan to, as I find it very offensive to me and my culture. everyone can have their own opinion, of course, and my opinion should not be considered representative of the entire Vietnamese community as a whole.

(also, major suicide, war, racism, and death tws)

jsjdjf please do not attack me for this

let’s start from the very beginning. the Wikipedia summary of Miss Saigon states that it tells “the tragic tale of a doomed romance involving an Asian woman abandoned by her American lover.”

... okay. okay. first off, that’s just. that’s the basic Wikipedia summary of the musical. and, well, it. doesn’t make me particularly thrilled. It’s also stated that Miss Saigon is based off of the opera Madame Butterfly, a racist and stereotypical piece of media set in Japan (I can’t remember what time period.) this means a couple of things, but to me it kind of means that they didn’t particularly do as much research on the actual experiences of vietnamese people during the Vietnam war as much as they should have.

so the musical basically centers around Kim, a 17 year old girl who works as a prostitute in order to get by. she falls in love with an American soldier who’s name I legitimately do not remember, and falls in love. they both fall in love with each other, but then Saigon falls, America pulls their troops out, Kim is left in Vietnam with soldier-dude’s child. soldier-dude is in despair in America, gets married with another lady, later goes back to Vietnam to find Kim. upon realizing soldier-dude is married to another lady, Kim is in despair, blah blah stuff happens idk what though, and then Kim kills herself so that her son can be adopted by soldier-dude and brought to America for a better life.

... yeah. okay sure. sure, this has it’s roots in true stories and experiences. but. but really, out of everything else, they had to use this. it paints south Vietnam as a victim, and while this war is complicated, with 3 sides (north, south, and America), they barely focus on the fact that the south is fighting to save themselves, too. pretty much every viet character in the musical hates themselves for being Vietnamese (apparently they actually say in the musical that the Vietnamese “think only of rice and hates entrepreneurs”) and the goal of pretty much everyone is to leave and run to America.

oh and also one of the Viet characters calls Vietnamese people “greasy chinks” which. Uh. hello???? what???

god I hate this musical so much. how many people watched it and cried and though they were having an educational experience??? before I was born, my dad actually was attending protests against Miss Saigon, as were many of his friends.

let me just say, if the world’s largest Vietnamese community outside of Vietnam is protesting it... there’s probably something wrong with the musical.

ugugugjghhfh I hate it so much. and then. and then. they sold shirts with Ho Chi Minh and the communist flags on them, and really? selling that stuff as merchandise at a musical about south Vietnam and the effects of the Viet Cong.

anyways. yeah. that’s. that’s the general gist of it I guess... not to mention some of the yellowface casting and ughhhh I don’t really have the energy I need any more but god I hate. this. musical.

haha I’ll go before I say something *too* controversial... I’m just tired of everything these days and I just- this really isn’t the best representation of the Vietnamese community and hhh yeah.

-🍵!

woah holy shit... i didn't know miss saigon was um THAT bad holy shit. all i knew about it was that this musical made lea salonga very famous (which um yea as much as i admire lea i personally believe that vietnamese actors should be the one playing these roles because duh vietnamese story but that's just my opinion) so um wow hearing about this shocked me. from what i'm understanding from what you said, it seems that the musical has some white-savior-ish undertones? like um moving to America and leaving Vietnam the overall goal of the characters that, like you said, hate themselves for being vietnamese is rather yikes... and then selling that kind of merchandise on order to promote the musical is um very tone deaf of them fjdjdjd this was very interesting to read tho tea anon!! Thank you for educating about this and if I'm ever gonna research about Miss Saigon musical context and controversies someday then I'm definitely gonna keep these in mind!

#i have some more thoughts on these but um i'm not that eloquent so welp #and frankly i dont think it's really my place to comment more because a. not vietnamese and b. i dont know much about vietnam history #but yea wow reading this was very enlightening so thank you tea anon!!#i know understand why you want your musical to be some sort of a middle finger towards miss saigon jdjs #i hope you guys get better representation! (and hopefully also in the form of your musical YAYYY)#suicide tw #war tw #racism tw #death tw #also my dudes i Do Not Wanna See Discourse regarding Miss Saigon in my asks (unless you're tea anon and if you're vietnamese)#if anyone attacks tea anon and spouts some racist bullshit then I'm coming for their asses #yay tea anon's here!#ask me stuff

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bl00dgutsgl0ry · 3 years

Text

Rivalry Put To Rest

Pairing - Zhongli x Fem!Reader

Warnings - Arranged marriages (non of that under age like child marriages though fuck that yuck, these are obviously of age adults i just really wanna make that clear jesus), praise kink, modern AU, just lovely soft sex with my favorite man :'^).

Word Count - 2.4k

Other Comments - Dude it’s been so long since ive actually written anything im so sorry. But i couldn't resist writing this. I know i promised xiao but he will come in time. This is a little bit of a slow burn, or at least the sex doesnt start right away lol i want this to be nice and soft. P.s. youre on birth control so dont worry about no condom lol.

You did not like this idea. Why your parents were still forcing you into this was beyond you seeing as how you were a fully grown ass adult. You just couldn’t stomach the disappointment you would be seen as in their eyes. You were the daughter to the CEO of one of the most well known Law Firms in Teyvat. Zhongli was the son of another CEO who controlled your Rival company. Yours's and his parents wanted to finally settle the bad blood between the firms by having the two of you get married. You knew damn well the benefits of doing this was, god forbid if your Fathers firm went underwater, you would still be secure with Zhongli as your husband.

It’s not that you didn’t like Zhongli, and he certainly was not ugly; you just couldn’t stand your freedom to choose who you really wanted to marry being ripped from you. It was non negotiable though, so you had to go through with it. Zhongli didn’t seem to mind at all, he thoroughly enjoyed his very brief moments he had with you before, and was frankly excited to get more of those moments. He just hoped you didn’t resent him or blame him for this.

You both of course had an extravagant wedding, why would you not when your family was one of the wealthiest in Teyvat. You were grateful to your parents for letting you invite a few of your friends, and it seemed Zhongli had done the same. There was almost like a crowd formed around you two at the after party, you talking to your friends, and him with his. Zhongli had offered you his arm to hold onto, but you politely declined, feeling that even just holding his arm was too intimate for you.

“Already trouble in paradise for the two lovebirds?” One of Zhongli’s friends had chuckled, a red head with a stupidly smug smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as you shot a look at him. Your friend Ningguang frowned, turning to look at your now husband.

“Control your dog, Mr. Zhongli.” You let out a chuckle, when you heard Zhongli’s friend scoff.

After a while, it was customary for the newlyweds to go on their honeymoon; so after a couple of hours you had to bid farewell to your friends and family. You approached the jet the two of you would be taking, with Zhongli carrying the luggage not far behind. You went ahead and boarded, while your new husband spoke with the pilot and the crew, sighing to yourself.

“Come on (y/n) suck it up, this honeymoon will be over sooner than you know it.” You mumbled to yourself, settling into the high class jet.

“Did you say something (y/n)?” You jumped, not expecting to hear Zhongli’s voice. “Ah.. My apologies, I did not mean to startle you.” You sighed and shook your head, waiving your hand to dismiss the apology.

“You’re fine Zhongli, I’m just… Nervous is all.” He hummed in response, nodding as he settled himself into the jet.

“I understand (y/n), I really do apologize about this being thrusted into your lap. I know this isn’t the ideal circumstances for a young woman to go through.” You nodded, glad that he understood your hesitance to the situation. Zhongli really wasn’t a bad guy.

“It’s really not your fault Zhongli, I understand you probably had no more say in it than I.” You gave him a reassuring smile, the first genuine smile to grace his line of sight. Without noticing he found himself smiling back, relieved that you didn’t see him with any contempt. A comfortable silence settled, as the jet took off towards your destination.

It wasn’t a long flight, and along the way you were able to make small talk, slowly learning more about Zhongli. After two short hours, you felt the jet jump slightly against the ground before steadying itself on the runway. After a few more moments, you both departed, Zhongli once again handling the luggage, leaving your side to retrieve it.

Before you knew it, you were at the house you would be staying at for your honeymoon. It sat on a beautiful beach side shore, with a large open patio looking out over the ocean. By the time you guys had arrived it was already around 10:00 o’clock at night, so the crescent moon was high in the sky as you both stepped out onto the patio. The moon and stars gleamed against the inky black water, with the rhythmic beating of the waves lulling you both into a comfortable silence. You stood next to your husband and finally for the first time that night, actually took in his face.

The light of the scenery exposed the beauty Zhongli held in his face, the pale light bouncing off his cheekbones and illuminating his golden irises as he looked out over the sea. He must’ve felt you staring because moments later those golden eyes were locked on yours.

“Do you like the scenery (y/n)?” You gave a quick nod before ducking away from his gaze, a red flush rising to your face. You heard him chuckle for a moment before shifting.

“I know what is customary to happen on our honeymoon, and I do not want you to feel pressured to fulfill that part of our relationship.” You flushed even more as you suddenly found the pattern of the wood to be very interesting. You had completely forgot that sex was usually something people did on honeymoons. It seemed normal, because generally the people who get married have had a relationship before this so nothing felt awkward about the topic. Obviously that wasn't the case in this situation, but there was something in you that kind of wanted to. Something in you that felt comfortable enough with him to do it, you already trusted him which shocked you. What if he wasn’t though? What if he was uncomfortable with the thought of having sex with you right now which is why he brought it up so suddenly?

“Thank you Zhongli, you’re too kind. You’ve truly been so understanding through this entire thing.” You looked back up to him finally, and found a gentle smile on his face. He nodded and hummed before turning back to the house.

“We should probably get to bed, it’s already fairly late.” You nodded, pulling out your phone to check the time. You both walked about into the house together. “There is another room down the hall from the master bedroom if you don’t want to sleep in the same bed. It’s smaller so I could always take it.” There he goes, being considerate and kind; handling your thoughts and feelings like glass that would break any second. You remained silent for a moment contemplating on what he had said, before gently shaking your head.

“No, no, it’s fine. I want to share the bed with you.” You smiled up at him, and he looked almost surprised with your willingness, but the shock didn’t last for long before he smiled back at you and nodded; offering you his arm to hold on to, which you shakily took. You both reached the bedroom, where he had placed all of your guy's luggage before letting you go to retrieve your sleeping clothes as he did the same. You went into the bathroom, to give yourself and him some privacy before slowly re-entering. Zhongli was in a pair of brown silk pants with golden accents and a black short sleeve shirt. Your eyes met each other, and Zhongli smiled when he saw you.

“I know that these were unideal circumstances to get married, but I’m happy it is you who is my spouse. I can only hope you think the same of me, and that at some point you can genuinely feel connected to me.” You blushed as he said this, genuinely taken aback by the sincerity in his voice. You feel bad for dreading and almost resenting Zhongli when you were first notified about the engagement, once finding out just how compassionate and caring the man before you was. Slowly, the two of you made your way into the large king sized bed. There was a large gap between the two of you, large enough to comfortably fit another person. Your mind raced a mile a minute trying to decide whether or not you should scoot in a little closer to the man next to you.

And so you did, without taking another moment to think about it you shifted closer to Zhongli until your side gently pressed against his. You felt Zhongli stiffen beside you for a brief moment, and for a split second you regretted scooting in; that was until you felt him roll over onto his side and wrap a strong arm around your torso. You could really take in Zhongli’s scent like this and you noticed that he smelled like amber rum, chestnuts, and a hint of vanilla. It wrapped you in a warmth that lulled you into a comforting silence as the two of you laid together like this.

You rolled onto your side, letting Zhongli’s arm now rest against your waist. Your noses were almost touching as the two of you stared into each other's eyes. You saw his eyes dart down to your lips for the briefest of seconds, letting yourself do the same.

“Zhongli…” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “Can I kiss you?” You saw Zhongli’s eyes widen as his gorgeous eyes met yours, not expecting you to ask him that.

“I would love nothing more… Darling.” You flushed at the mild pet name, before softly placing your lips onto his. It felt as time skidded to a halt, as the two of you moved against each other with the grace of a slow dance. Soon enough it became heated, as you changed positions and straddled his hips. You could feel his boner pressing against you through his pants, and it made warmth bloom in your chest.

“You really want to do this right? You don’t feel pressured my dear?” You smiled at Zhongli’s questions, nodding before he could get another one out. It felt good to be so concerned about, so doted over.

“Yes Zhongli, I really want to do this with you. I trust you.” This time it was Zhongli’s turn to flush, an elegant smile gracing his lips. Before long, the both of you were out of your sleeping clothes and back on top of one another. Your back was to the silken bed sheets, as Zhongli was on top of you lining his hard cock up with your eager pussy. Zhongli gave you one last look before slowly entering you inch by inch. To say he was huge would be an understatement, so he knew he had to take it slow with you so as to not hurt you in any way. Zhongli needed this to be a good experience with you, he would never forgive himself if he hurt you or made this unenjoyable in any way at all.

The noises you were making and the way your hands were clawing at his back reassured him that he was doing everything right so far, always stopping after pushing in a few inches to give you time to adjust. Without thinking, Zhongli's mouth just started moving as words spilled out.

“You’re doing so good for me my angel, you’re taking me so well. You’re too good for me.” With the praise spilling out of Zhongli’s mouth, you couldn’t help but unleash a flurry of loud moans, as he bottomed out. He stood still for a couple moments, making sure you were nice and comfortable, until he felt you trying to move against him; trying to get him to move in and out of you.

“If you were ready for me to move, all you needed to do was ask my gem.” You let out a whine like moan, that evolved into a guttural groan when he finally started to thrust in and out of you. Your nails raked across his skin, surely leaving marks for you to admire after this was all said and done. He wasn’t skipping out on the marks either, as he sucked and bit at your skin, still throwing out praise every time his mouth left your skin. His fingers dug into your hips, as he sped up. He just couldn’t help himself, your wet quivering pussy just felt way too good wrapped around him; sucking him in every time he pulled out.

“I can’t believe it took us getting into an arranged marriage to finally meet, my god where have you been all my life.” Zhongli had begun to groan, obviously getting close to tipping over the edge, with the way his thrusts continued to get sloppier every so often. You moaned in response, too blissed out of your mind to form actual words. Zhongli’s head fell against your shoulder, his ebony black hair hanging off his shoulders.

With a few more strokes, Zhongli had both of you tumbling over the edge and cumming in unison. All that could be heard in your room was the quiet crashing of waves and the combined panting of the both of you. After a few moments of Zhongli getting his breath back he tumbled down next to you, sweaty shoulders touching. A couple seconds of silence passed before you spoke up in a raspy broken voice.

“It took us so long because I’m technically your rival.” You were giggling slightly, when Zhongli let out a loud chuckle.

“I guess you are right my dear, but now we are joined together. And I cannot wait to see what comes of our joining.”

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin zhongli #genshin impact zhongli #zhongli #genshin imagine #genshin impact imagine #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #zhongli imagine #zhongli x reader #zhongli smut

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starglow-xx · 3 years

Note

hello! may i request headcanons for chuuya having a crush on someone who's dense? like he could ask them out in the most straightforward way possible and it would still go over their head?

yes, yes of course you may!

sorry this took so long! my computer was out of commission for abt a week (or two..??)

but this is also my birthday writing piece for chuuya!! (4/29/21) i even added a small drabble thingy in addition to the hcs for the occasion hehe

from where i am, it is about fifteen minutes past midnight so it’s officially chuuya day here!!

happy birthday chuuya i love you! you deserve the whole world and everyone is willing to fight tooth and nail to ensure your happiness! we love you! 💗💗

anyways, i hope you all enjoy this! i kinda had some writer’s block but it was still a lot of fun to write! there might be some mistakes, but i’ll scan over it again later. reader is gender neutral! have fun!

chuuya having a crush on a dense! reader

nakahara chuuya x gn! reader

im cackling somebody help him

he’s frustrated bc you can’t take a hint or a thousand but he can’t even be mad bc he’s whipped

“look at you all dressed up today, wanna go out later? my treat?”

“oh really? thanks chuuya-san! you’re such a nice friend. i’ll go invite the others right now, i’ll see you later!”

“...”

fast forward to later in the evening and he finds himself at a little restaurant with the black lizard + higuchi and akutagawa

sigh

in unison all of them go, “thank you for the meal chuuya-san!” (except aku and hirotsu are quieter & and gin just a nods hehe)

“no problem” (ꐦ ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

gin only pats him on the back in sympathy

he spends a lot of time trying to think of ways to make it absolutely and undeniably clear that he has feelings for you

he always fails

“(y/n) i like you”

“i like you too chuuya-san”

“really?”

“mhm”

“t-then will you—”

“you’re a really great friend! and superior too”

“...nevermind”

“oh were you saying something?”

“nah, just forget about it”

tachihara is laughing in the corner of the corridor

dont worry, chuuya made sure to get back at him

chuuya’s been pinning after you for years and frankly, his failed attempts to woo you has lead everyone to the breaking point

and i mean everyone

yes, even aku

hell even dazai

but dazai also thinks it’s funny, so he doesn’t mind all that much

okay bye bye dazai-san this headcanon set isn’t abt you rn

PLEASE EVERYONE FEELS SO BAD FOR HIM

they knew even if he kissed you, you still might not get it

so they decided to help him

super secret mission get chuuya and (y/n) together is a go!

they’re still working on a proper mission name, don’t mind them

they had a super secret strategy meeting!

you can bet your ass that they nearly got nothing done

akutagawa & kaiji weren’t much help, neither was higuchi, mori, or elise

tachihara nearly got killed for a thoughtless comment

“just tell them chuuya-san!”

“i already fucking did you ass!”

gin, hirotsu, and kouyou were the most helpful !!

hirotsu and kouyou both agreed on the idea that chuuya should try courting with bouquets of flowers instead of flat out asking you bc they knew you found them pretty

(even if you don’t identify as a female, flowers are for everyone no matter gender or sexuality! so let’s normalize giving flowers to everyone <33 )

gin didn’t speak but she used cards to communicate

everyone knew that you weren’t stupid (you wouldn’t have survived in the mafia if you were) but they did know that you were only stupid when it came to all this lovey dovey stuff

i mean, if chuuya gave you flowers every so often, there’s no way that you wouldn’t piece it together at some point

right...??

but kouyou assured him that even though you wouldn’t get it right away, you’d appreciate the gestures and that he’ll stand out more

she even said that if someone gave her flowers, she would appreciate it, whether or not she reciprocated their feelings

it takes guts to be so up front with your feelings after all

gin and hirotsu only nodded with her explanation

once again, this only provoked a reaction out of tachihara

“what do you know gin? i get the old man and kouyou-san, they’re grown, but you? what do you know abt courting? or flowers? what are you a girl?”

akutagawa choked on his cough, higuchi on air, and on the other side of yokohoma at the ada, dazai is cackling

yes, dazai somehow placed a listening device onto chuuya’s hat and was listening in

don’t ask how, it’s dazai

“DAZAI GET YOUR BANDAGED ASS OFF THE COUCH AND STOP LAUGHING”

anyways

the next day, chuuya did what was barely discussed and for once, things actually started to look up

until they started look to down again

at first, it actually looked like you understood his intentions after he gave you a bouquet of flowers

literally everyone was leaning against the opposite hallway you two were in and then they got excited !!

especially chuuya !

but then your expression sort of changed...??

and then in their heads they simultaneously went, “oh no”

they knew that expression

it was very familiar when you tended to friend zone chuuya

but boy let me tell you what you said next made them facepalm and or make their jaws drop

“ah, so you really are friend zoning me huh chuuya-san; what a shame, i really did like you”

LEMME TELL YOU WHEN I SAY THAT CHUUYA WAS DISTRESSED I MEAN HE WAS DISTRESSED

you liked him??

him of all people??

he wasn’t complaining, no of course not, but he still couldn’t believe it

but that wasn’t what he was really focusing on right now

what in any form or language did it say he was friend zoning you?!

flower language apparently

chuuya chose to buy the bouquet of yellow roses, pink carnations, and yellow carnations bc he thought you would appreciate the brighter colors, and so that you’d remember them better (because remembering them, meant remembering him)

but ooh boy

altogether, they meant the exact opposite message he wanted to send

someone help him pls

“you see chuuya-san, yellow roses mean friendship, pink carnations mean gratitude, and yellow carnations mean rejection; sooo in a nutshell, these pretty much say ‘thank you for being my friend, but im rejecting you”

no one can tell if tachihara is crying or wheezing

and dazai is having the time of his life

yes, he started listening in on him again

and chuuya is just stunned

like speechless and unmoving stunned

is he just bad at this whole courting/dating thing?? it’s only been one day and of it and somehow he was the one doing the rejecting??

“thank you for the flowers chuuya-san, i’ll be going now; i’ll make sure to let this affect our friendship. i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you passed by the not so subtle group of people

“tachihara-kun..?? are you alright?”

just for context, he was leaning his forehead against the wall using his forearm

again, it was hard to tell whether he was crying or wheezing

“i-im okay (y/n)-san...i think c-chuuya-san has it worse than me”

“...okay..?”

BACK TO CHUUYA

he’s still frozen poor baby

but it’s okay bc after like 5 more seconds he’s chasing you down the hallway you were walking in

kouyou, with a knowing smile on her face, ushers everyone away towards the opposite direction

she received some whines (ahem, tachihara and mori) but silenced them by summoning golden demon

but it’s okay

if they run fast enough, they can see what happens through the security cameras

chuuya caught up with you and tried to explain everything but he was exhausted

emotionally, physically (bc since when did you walk that fast??), and generally just tired with the whole situation

he just wanted to call you his; was that too much to ask??

as explosive as he can be, he can be calm and collected too

and he really did try to be that way as he talked with you but it was very difficult at the moment

the dumbfounded and confused look on your face his face twitch with annoyance and his heart started beating faster bc god you were cute

BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT RIGHT NOW

thank goodness after what seemed like years, you finally somewhat understood what happened

you didn’t understand completely but it was something

The two of you stood in the middle of the unusually empty hallway facing each other, you with the bouquet still in hand. It was quiet as you and Chuuya assessed the situation.

You looked at him skeptically and he stared right back you with his gorgeous blue eyes.

“...So you do like me Chuuya-san??”

“Yes”

“And you were trying to court me just now, not friend zone me??”

“Yes”

You got most of your questions out of the way, but there was something that you’ve been wondering about for quite a while.

“...So you’re not gay for Dazai-san??”

“Yes, im not wait—GAY FOR DAZAI?? THAT MACKEREL??”

Chuuya did a double take. What in heavens name made it seem like he liked that suicidal maniac?? Why would he choose him if he had you?

Like he would choose him anyways; or ever consider him as a possible romantic partner.

“Oh, so you are?”

“NO! I SAID I LIKED YOU DIDN’T I?”

“Well yeah, but I thought you liked Dazai-san too. As annoying as he is, he can be quite charming—”

He was out of patience at this point (nope definitely not because you were talking about Dazai who told you that?) and just decided to kiss you.

You immediately melted into the kiss and kissed him back with the same amount of love and feeling.

Letting the bouquet fall to the ground, you wrapped you arms around his neck and his put his on your lower back and brought you closer to him. After a few more moments, the two of you broke apart for air.

The two of you, slightly out of breath, leaned your foreheads against each other and just basked in each others presence.

Chuuya looked into your (e/c) eyes and asked you just a little bit above a whisper, “Now do you get my intentions and feeling?”

You blinked at him before breaking out into a grin, “Hmm I’m not sure; do you wanna do that again Chuuya?”

The red head only blinked back at you before rolling his eyes, a smile present on his handsome features, his heart fluttering at you using his name with the honorific.

“Dumbass”

Smiling cheekily at him, you pressed a kiss on his cheek and started dragging him towards the lobby to take a walk around the building perimeter, knowing that the two of you can’t be too far from work.

The way down to the lobby was mostly in comfortable silence until you said something that made Chuuya want to bash his head against the wall.

“You know, you could’ve just told me you liked me Chuuya. It’s not like I would’ve said no.”

Once again, as the rest of the more power mafia members watch from security cameras, it is hard to tell whether Tachihara is crying or wheezing of laughter.

omake !!

The two of you just started making your way around the building when suddenly a very familiar voice came from Chuuya’s prized hat.

“Chuuyaaaa!! It was about time you stopped being a chicken, Chibi!”

Removing his hat from his head, he started yelling at it not knowing exactly where the listening device was planted.

“TEME! HOW DID YOU—”

“And (y/n)! I would congratulate you, but I think I would rather offer you my condolences. Why him?! He’s just a slimy slug. OOH OOH how would you like to join me in a double suicide?! A shame it won’t be a lover’s suicide but it’ll annoy Chuuya so I think it’ll be worth it! ”

“YOU—”

“And please don’t kiss while I’m listening in. You made me lose my appetite! And it was such a shame! I was eating crab using Kunikida-kun’s money! Do you know what you’ve cost me?!”

“DAZAI YOU PIECE OF—”

“Ah! Kunikida-kun is here! I have to go!”

You can hear something is the background that vaguely sounds like, “DAZAI YOU WASTE OF BANDAGES STOP USING MY MONEY”

“DAZAI DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE IM NOT DONE WITH—”

*Click!*

The click sound from the hat revealed that Dazai disconnected.

Chuuya twitched and glared furiously at his signature hat hating that the voice he hated the most came out of it.

“Aww, I didn’t get to talk to Dazai-san”

Chuuya whipped his head towards you, a look of mock (or real) betrayal showing on his features.

You laughed at him before taking the hat out of his hands and placing it on his head.

He shyly looked away before muttering a thanks making you smile wider. Just as the two of you were about to start walking, a small explosion erupted from his hat; it was likely that Dazai made the listening device self destruct.

“DAZAI YOU BASTARDD”

At the Armed Detective Agency, a certain suicidal maniac hid from the wrath of his current partner as he thought about the wrath his old one.

“Hmmm I wonder if Chuuya would finally stop wearing his ugly hats if I blow all of them up...”

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

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alycosworld · 3 years

Note

guess who🤡 heyhey 💕 here. I’m pretty sure by this 2nd request u can tell that I’m a very emotional person🧍🏻‍♀️ and that I’m a person that seeks alot of comfort from fictional characters because i dont have a life and good friends.

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putting a divider here so u dont have to read everything and can look out for keywords!

purple—> person

pink—>genre

green—>subject

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I’m not sure if u r comfy writing kazuha so if yr not I’m sorry u can ignore this! i just want a fluff comfort for reader who got like REALLY scolded for getting bad grades for exams because u have no idea how angsty I’m feeling rn:( my parents just literally like scolded me like there was no tmr istg- so i just need really fluff comfort. so a kazuha x NB(non bibary)!reader

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Anyways again tysm u have no idea how grateful i am if you accept my request!!!<3 get lots of rest and drink water. only do this if you want to!

byebye<3

-💕

Kazuha's Wise and Whimsical Words

Kaedehara Kazuha X Reader

A/N: aaaa 💕anon ily!! being emotional is completely fine and I would be honoured to become of your good friends!! I will be a part of your life, private message me if you're ever feeling down! I just want my readers happy because they make me happy aaaaaa 🥺

with that being said, i love this request! My parents were so hard on me when it came to exams, but as soon as I broke away from their expectations, I started to appreciate my grades more. I'll leave the real comforting words for Kazuha to say but NO ONE SHOULD EVER be disappointed in yourself if you tried your best. Thank you for your support and the request, I hope the story makes you feel better. Enjoy!

ps: I took into account the fact that not everyone has a mother and a father and not everyone has two parents at all, so only one parent is mentioned here and they are left gender neutral so it's easier to picture yourself in the story.

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"(Y/N). This is not at all what I expected. What happened to you?" Your parent asked sternly.

"Well, I--"

"I don't want to hear any excuses. Your predicted grades were much higher than this!" They said, raising their voice.

"I'm sorry, I--"

"Sorry is not going to improve your results! Do you really think that now is a good time to be slacking off? You have one more exam period before university. I don't care if you pass those exams, I want you to excel. And if you don't, you are not attending Sumeru Academia, whether they accept you or not. I am not paying for you to study overseas, only for you to get mediocre grades." They said, making you even more anxious than before the exam.

"But I got above the average!"

"By two percent! And the average was low." Your parent said, narrowing their eyes slightly and upsetting you with their belittling gaze.

"Realistically--"

"Realistically? Realistically?! If you want to study realistically, you should find someone else to pay for your education. When you want to study successfully, you can come back." They slammed the stack of sheets that displayed your results on the table with a loud bang before folding their arms as you grabbed a jacket and stormed out of the house, tears running down your face.

You walked for a while in the night, before eventually finding yourself in an area you were less familiar with. After recognising it to be somewhere near your boyfriend's current residence off Beidou's ship, you made a beeline for his place, knocking on the door and hoping, praying he would be alone inside.

The door soon opened and Kazuha stood there, initially with a smile on his face but it soon dropped when he saw your expression.

"(Y/N)? What happened?" He asked.

"C-can I come inside?" You sniffled.

"Of course, Love. Come in." He said, ushering you into his quaint little place. You stood by the door that closed behind you before Kazuha pushed the coat you had lazily draped over your shoulder onto the floor and enveloped you in his arms.

You broke down in his embrace. You had done better than most of your fellow students, and frankly, you were kind of proud of your result. But it was foolish of you to think that your parent would accept anything but perfection. They said it was all for you, but you were doubting it. Did you even want to go to Sumeru Academia? You had had your heart set on it since you were a child, but maybe that was only because your folks always envisioned you going there.

"Why are you crying, my love?" Kazuha asked, sitting you down near the fire to warm you up and standing up to get you a blanket and a hot cup of tea.

"I'm not good enough." You mumbled. If it was anyone else, they wouldn't have heard you. But your boyfriend could listen to the wind "talk" - he was very attuned to quiet and subtle noises.

"Nonsense." He smiled, bringing you the blanket as you listened to the water boil in the background.

"You're more than good enough. Everyone who knows you adores you - no one more than me, of course." Kazuha chuckled, eventually setting down two cups of tea and sitting in front of you on the floor.

"Public opinion won't improve my grades." You said, now more stoic than upset. You had almost become numb and desensitised to degrading comments that after you cried a little and calmed down, you'd be straight-faced and almost emotionless. It didn't feel good, but it was certainly better than feeling bad.

"So this is about school." Kazuha nodded, gesturing for you to continue explaining why had happened.

"They keep talking about my grades. They said I shouldn't be slacking and that I'm not going to get to Sumeru Academia and that they want me to do better...maybe I'm interpreting it wrong. Maybe they're trying to encourage me?" You wondered aloud, thinking that somehow you were the problem. As soon as you said "they", Kazuha knew who you are referring to and sighed.

"Encouragement and doubt are two very different things. Unrealistic expectations, detrimental practices, emotionally, mentally or physically taxing improvement - none of that is going to help you. In fact, it'll make you feel worse. When you really think about what you have to do to achieve perfection, you'll only realise how unattainable it is. You'll fall into a perpetual spiral of intellectual destruction." Kazuha said.

"Then how the hell am I gonna get the best results?" You asked worriedly.

"You won't. No one will ever get the best results because more people and more previously unforeseen factors will come into play. What you can achieve is your best results. Your grades are a product of you, not the other way around. They are no measure of your worth, they cannot define you, and they do not have to be a part of you. If you don't ace one subject, you don't have to hang on to that or turn it into some strange part of you. You can't cling to it, it's impossible to cling to a piece of the past forever. That's not to say you don't learn from it, but it doesn't need to become some villainous trait - in the end, it is only a grade." Kazuha shield at you. His words warmed your heart more than the fire or tea, and they even seemed to dry your tears and allow you to mirror his expression.

"And at the very least, you can hold your head high knowing that you had the strength to participate in an exam when not everyone does. You went in, sat through it, attempted the questions and walked out. Not everyone has the courage to stay; some don't even have the courage to start. That goes for any endeavour you face." Kazuha said, before inching closer to you.

"Feeling any better?" He asked. You nodded instantly. Of course, Kazuha's wise and whimsical words had bettered your mood, it was Kazuha for Archon's sake.

"Good. Maybe we could go for an evening stroll? I'll treat you to dinner if you haven't eaten." He offered.

"Can...can we just stay like this for a little longer? I think being alone with you is nicer." You smiled.

"Of course, Angel. Anything you want."

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this was less physical fluff than I intended, but I think I do comfort with direct words and dialogue best, so I hope this is okay. honestly, everything kasha said is what I would've wished to hear when I was in this situation. I'll probably post a rant about my own exam experiences because this request got all my past feelings to resurface.

thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

#kazuha #genshin #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha kaedehara #genshin impact #genshin kazuha #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #kasha fluff #fluff comfort #comfort #kazuha comfort #non-binary reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha x y/n

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weirdmageddon · 3 years

Text

five years too late let’s analyze this. the commentary has gotten me back into gravity falls reigniting thoughts and insights i came to years ago

i love everything about this commentary in general it hits the points of humor, genuine analysis of the characters, but most of all im so glad hirsch addressed that the droid not detecting any fear from dipper here doesnt make any scientific sense because that was a massive CinemaSins moment for me

IDK the fact that dipper can fucking stand after an airship crash because theres a bigger threat at hand is literally one of the defining capabilities owed to adrenaline lol...... IM SORRY im a biopsychology student if i dont point that out iwill seethe and die because that was just . its a grudge ive held for a long time about this episode but didnt rant about because it was something so minor and i’m sure nobody would care.

i was 13 when this episode came out and i’m almost 19 now, i had a special interest in biology and i still do but now i’m actually having college classes in biopsychology so i can give my arguments more oomph now. and i have to say, now that i know more about the brain and autonomic nervous system the more this scene bugs me, if that was even possible. and it says a lot of dipper and ford’s relationship.

if dipper clearly wasnt calm before, why would he be now just because he’s put up an outwardly confident facade? before he was in the flight but now hes in the fight. my boy just rode on top of a spaceship by nothing but a magnet gun that could detach at any time if it failed and then the ship crashed, he sustained injuries, is in emotional turmoil because he thinks his uncle is Fucking Dead and the threat of a security droid that detects adrenaline is on his tail and produces a Big Fucking Gun in response to dipper saying “i hAvE a MaGNeT gUn” and hes screaming and has his teeth clenched but sure there’s no adrenaline coursing through his body in that moment i can totally believe that

when dipper asks what happened, ford says “the orb didn’t detect any chemical signs of fear, it assumed the threat was neutralized and self-disassembled” but i don’t think measuring someone’s heartbeat alone is particularly relevant in detecting ... chemical signs of fear?? they dont really tell you this shit but noradrenaline (and maybe adrenaline too if the acetylcholine from sympathetic outflow always activates the adrenal medulla??, theres two pathways) is always active in small quantities to make sure your parasympathetic nervous system doesnt slow your heart to dangerous levels on its own, regardless of your emotions. it’s just a homeostatic mechanism. your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems are CONSTANTLY modulating control of your organs on a see-saw, literally with every breath you take. simply standing upright causes specialized mechanoreceptor neurons in blood vessels to signal your brain to project signals to release catecholamines via the sympathetic nervous system to constrict your blood vessels so that blood is able to reach your brain and not pool in your legs. i have a deficiency in my body’s ability to adapt to this which is why i know so much about it. if i stand up my heart races to compensate. i’m not feeling fear, my body is just adjusting—albeit grossly and incompetently lol.

but what im saying here is that the security system is flawed. it’s a cool idea to have security droids detect fear, but in practice by detecting adrenaline, and not even directly by detecting the molecule itself—it’s done in a roundabout way by reading the heartbeat, could be a recipe for false alarms. like what if someone’s on beta-blockers. that’s not really an adequate way to measure “fear”; there’s so many variables that could interfere with the measurement the farther you abstract from what you’re really trying to detect. and besides, adrenaline is NOT just a sign of fear, it’s just for preparing the body for action. i know the sympathetic nervous system and adrenaline is constantly linked with the “fight-or-flight” reaponse to a stressor, but 99.9% of the time the sympathetic nervous system is used in your life is to balance out your parasympathetic nervous system to maintain homeostatic equilibrium for mundane things.

i think detecting amygdalar activation would be more efficient in detecting fear. the amygdala sends projections to the hypothalamus which then in turn modulates the autonomic nervous systems. but the amygdala is intensely activated specifically in response to a fear-inducing stimulus (it does activate in response to other emotions but they’re mostly negative and is most activated by startle and fear), and wouldnt be highly activated by many other confounding variables like measurement of the heartbeat could be. the amygala is one of the first stops directly from external stimuli.

to show you how integrated the amygdala is as the first step in registering fear after receiving input from sensory stimuli let’s look at the auditory-amygdala connection for example

see how the auditory thalamus projects to the primary auditory cortex and auditory association cortex? the cortex is where conscious awareness of what the stimuli is comes from. this is the “high road”. it goes sensing -> perception -> emotional response. but sometimes you can be startled without even processing what it is you’re sensing, like the startle response of an alarm or a phone ringing in a quiet house before you even register what it is. this goes sensing -> emotional response, without perception happening until after you’ve already felt the startle. that’s when it takes the “low road”. here’s a simplified version:

even if that were the case with these droids though it’s obvious dipper is still fearful on some level here. his body language, voice, expressions all give it away. for the amygdala, aggression isnt too off from fear so it would be detected equally.

the reason this is so important is because ford uses this as evidence for why dipper is special, “i did it?” “you did it. this is what i was talking about, how many 12 year olds do you think are capable of doing what you’ve just done?”

but like....did he really? i’m not saying this to shoot dipper down or make him out to be more of a wuss, he was incredibly strong-willed here and i dont want to take that away from him because it WAS growth on his part. but the underlying psychophysiological reactions of aggression and fear shouldn’t be that different and this was a total asspull. maybe the droid was so old that it fucked up. maybe dipper being covered in grime and dirt made it harder for the droid to measure the correct heart rate through photoplethysmography (im assuming since they use a camera and are non-contact).

and in all honesty everything i just said brings into question the interpersonal healthiness of ford’s judgements, what he thinks, his expectations, and how he communicates that. in this video alex already talks about how ford is projecting onto dipper. and i think ford may be projecting his expectations for himself onto people who are not him, and the fact that it’s on dipper here makes it far more unfortunate. you realize how much this boy idolizes ford, right? how much impressions matter? dipper even tells himself before he leaves in this same episode, “all right dipper, this is your first big mission with great uncle ford. don’t mess this up.”

even though it’s unstated, the implicit message dipper is perceiving from ford based on their dynamic is: “do you have what it takes for me to be proud of you?” and to accomplish this he must be like ford, even though he’s clearly not and he knows this. he says “i don’t think have what it takes. i was tricked by bill, i was wrong about stan’s portal, heck, i can’t even operate this magnet gun right.” then, by simple chance without even knowing what he did, he activates the magnet gun and pulls out the adhesive, which immediately takes the focus away from what dipper was telling ford about his feelings of inadequacy to ford saying, “yes! dipper, you found the adhesive!”

these thoughts of dipper’s hang in the air without resolve or comment from ford. we don’t know what ford would have said. but it then becomes painfully self-evident in the scene immediately after when the droids emerge and ford tells dipper, “they’re security droids and they detect adrenaline. you simply have to not feel any fear and they won’t see you”, to which dipper replies with an exasperated (and rightful) “WHAT?”

dipper goes in a panic trying to indirectly tell his uncle that this isn’t something he can do. and he is completely right and valid to be freaked out by that full stop. that IS crazy. you can’t control your fear. you can control how you interpret that fear in your higher brain regions but the physiological changes will stick around for longer than it takes to cognitively calm down. it’s easy for me to detach from my emotions to analyze them, but being able to do this does not come naturally for everyone. even i have an irrational fear of wasps and i can’t control it by detaching myself, my body is just automatically primed to get the fuck out of there. i know it’s stupid and i know it’s irrational and isn’t helpful to get myself worked up but i literally can’t stop how my body reacts no matter how i cognitively think about it. expecting composure from dipper in a situation like this when he’s being made to consciously be aware of his anxiety is absolutely fucking insane. look what you did, placing these cruel expectations on him, now he’s afraid of being afraid! this isn’t a case where two wrongs cancel out, they just stack on top of each other.

youtube

there’s a good reason these scenes were put side by side but it seems up until now it had remained unanalyzed.

what dipper fears from ford is disappointment. not living up to his uncle’s (quite frankly badly placed) expectations for a twelve year old with anxiety. not once did ford say or subliminally communicate “i don’t expect you to be able to do what i can since you are not as experienced as i am and that’s perfectly okay, no judgements”. you don’t put a child on bike before training wheels. you don’t throw a kid into a swimming pool without giving them swimming lessons. the way ford is doing it, there’s no room for trial and error or mistakes that are an opportunity to grow and learn; instead, it’s life or death. he only seems to pride dipper on what he can do while ignoring the underlying struggles that plague him and never making it known it’s okay for dipper to fail in front of his hero and that he won’t think anything less of him for it.

and that’s why i found the ending scene for dipper and ford’s adventure in this episode to feel so.. wrong. on a scientific and social level. because by the sound of it ford focused more on what dipper had done to dismantle the droid (the droid not detecting any fear) instead of how dipper displayed love and protection for him even if he was truly afraid. what if the science was accurate and the droid detected adrenaline while dipper was confidently standing up for his uncle. would ford still be proud of him regardless?

#can you tell how i’m similar to ford but also so different like i said in that other post lol #gravity falls #analysis #dipper pines #stanford pines #long post #gf #gravity falls meta

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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 3 years

Note

My insomnia is kicking my ass and I'm at a stage where I need to just get things off my mind by confessing into the void.

Sometimes I'll read through things in fandom and think "why do people need to make everything gay" and then I'll mentally slap myself and say "because people like me have insisted on making everything cis and straight" and I just feel guilty that my first reflex is so toxic and I just feel like a bad person.

Nonie, I’m afraid you’re not going to like what I have to say on this. But these are two of the things I actually give a fuck about so I put my god’s honest opinion under the cut. Also bc my inbox won't let me tag things so i have to post then edit the tags and i dont wanna surprise anyone with shit they dont want to read

Okay, I’m not the void. I’m a person and this is my inbox. If you really want to post into the void, make an anonymous side-blog and tag your stuff properly. It doesn't happen often to me since I don't have a lot of triggers, but a lot of other bloggers I know get triggering/draining asks like this that are asking them to make the sender feel better bout this, that, or the other and that’s not cool. No creator/blogger is responsible for your wellbeing. That's you fam. And it’s not looking for support when it's anonymous. Support implies connection, understanding, and the possibility of reciprocation. That’s not possible here. There is no asking for context like one could with a DM.

Now for the second chunk.

I definitely used to think like this. It’s something that our society and mainstream media conditions into us from a young age (especially those who grew up with religion). However, you clearly know it's not necessary and you’re correcting your thinking immediately so you’re working against that conditioning. It takes time, you'll get there. This self-flagellation isn't necessary nor is it helping anyone. No one gets special points for beating themselves up. Just make a note, make an effort to do better next time, and move on.

I was honestly thinking of just deleting this ask but this is a really important topic to me. Not the representation (though that is important) but the idea that we have to justify why we make things the way we want them or put references in art/a body of work. What is wrong with letting people enjoy things the way they want to? It’s not hurting anyone. It doesn’t matter if you (collective, not specific to nonie) don’t like it. There is something to be said for trying new things and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, but if you don’t like something, just fucking move on. If it’s not harming anyone it doesn't fucking matter.

This idea of ‘feeling uncomfortable’ is often misidentified as ‘feeling unsafe’ by cis straight white people, and even more so with men, and they are not the same thing in the slightest. A straight person may feel uncomfortable with homosexual/romantic themes because they aren't used to it and have been told it was wrong in one way or another regardless of what their logical conclusion on the topic is. They may claim feeling ‘unsafe’ because they no longer feel completely comfortable with the way they behave or the comments/thoughts they may entertain. While women, people of color, LGBTQ+ persons, and quite frankly anyone who challenges the status quo can and have been threatened with bodily harm for being who they are or suggesting who they are isn't offensive.

So yeah, I’m glad you feel uncomfortable with that first thought. You should. Because that thinking has caused untold harm and misery on so many different levels and you’re beginning to acknowledge that from your place of privilege. It gets easier. Who knows, you may start to realize that you’re actually not all that straight when you start working through shit like that (like me lol).

But I’m not going to sit here and tell you you’re an amazing person because I don’t know you. It’s also not my responsibility, nor am I likely to be successful in soothing your guilt. Just change your behavior going forward. That’s literally all we can do regarding thinking patterns like this.

#comfy answers #regan answers #one sided relationships #white privilege #cis privilege #straight privilege #conditioned thinking #societal conditioning #regan rants #like a lot #dont dump emotional labor on your bloggers #representation #make it all gay

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

White Carnation

Ex!Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

a/n: iwa-chan being your ex is so painful and numbing

huhuhu angst isnt my forte but this is an exception bc chi is my sista

anon request: ex-boyfriend/childhood friend iwaizumi would be super angsty but i have no idea what they’d fight about ,, now imagine if after being kitaichi’s manager/medic, reader becomes karasuno’s medic/temporary manager (until kiyoko got recruited),, then she couldn’t come to the seijoh practice match so she has no idea her team fought her ex,,, only to find out during inter-high and everyone’s like wtf??? that spiky haired ace is your ex?? meanwhile kageyama’s like “yall didn’t know?” — chi

ong this finna be painful

its always been the three of you

with living across the oikawas came great perks

even way before you could remember, you were always with the 2 other boys: your neighbor across your house, tooru, and his best friend who practically lived there, hajime

hajime first saw you when you were covered in dirt after you were trying to catch a butterfly for tooru at the back and oikawa pushed you out of the way into a puddle of mud when he saw a bug

iwa stared at you then immediately said ‘my name is iwaijumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

yep thats really how it went

and poor babie didnt know how to pronounce his ‘z’s yet so it sounds like ‘j’s :(

while tooru liked you because you werent like other girls who stayed inside and played dolls instead playing outside

you played with him at his back yard with the volleyball he owned and always made him laugh and have fun

iwa liked you because you didnt shy away from bugs, instead you were braver than tooru and even helped iwa look for any beetles and caught them for him to keep as pets

they liked you because you were like them

you were like one of the bois

but that kinda hurt you in the future

as you all grew up, you started going through yanno teenager things

like you started to have crushes

specifically on your best friend, iwaizumi hajime

thankfully tooru didnt see you like that and still saw you as one of the bois and saw you as that annoying twin sister

but unfortunately, iwa did too

every time you made an effort to do something to emphasize that you were, hello, a girl, he would laugh and tease you

‘hehe i didnt think you even knew what a dress was!’

was his comment when you came over wearing a yellow sundress with flats

tooru, who you shared these secrets with, gave you a worried glance but you smiled, covering up the hurt

‘meh. my mom forgot to dry my clothes so i had to wear these old clothes’

no, they werent old

they were just bought yesterday with the intention of finally being recognized as girl and complimented

but the person it was for, couldnt even be bothered to remember that you werent just one of the boys and that you possibly wanted to be told that you were pretty or cute

your other best friend noticed your quietness and he stood up from his crouching position and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you look at him

your teary eyes made him sigh but he grinned at you

‘its really pretty, y/n-chan! you should wear it more often! pretty things deserve to be seen and complimented’

god why couldnt you have a crush on oikawa tooru instead

why did it have to be towards the boy who was too caught up with catching bugs and playing ball to ever see you differently and has never said a single praise towards you?

‘what do you think, iwa-chan? isnt she pretty?’

oikawa hinted but hajime remained his eyes on the tv as the players hit the ball, too distracted to even be bothered to look at you

‘she looks the same’

he mumbled and your nose stung and eyes watered, looking down to hide the wobbling of your lips

‘its okay, kawa-chan. can i wear your clothes for now? i dont like this dress thats why i never wore it’

oikawa tried to stop you but you were already straight up the stairs and towards his room

he angrily stomped over to iwa and slapped his arm, startling the other boy and him snarling in pain

‘what the-’

‘youre so dumb. youre so mean. i wonder where she went wrong and what she saw. seriously’

he ranted and moved to sit back on the floor but not before kicking iwaizumi, making him fall on his side

‘OI KUSOKA-’

‘so whos winning?’

your voice interrupted iwa’s mid-scream and he looked up from the floor to see you wearing an alien hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts that were a little too loose so they drooped by your knees

your originally curled and elegantly braided hair was now pulled up into a bun by a scrunchie that you left around the house from years ago

there was a bit of redness around your eyes and iwa scrambled up to check if you were okay since your face looked swollen

‘oi, did you eat something weird? your face is all red so youre probably having a reaction’

he fretted and you watched as his hands glided across your face and held you by the shoulders to take a closer look

‘yea, a reaction from a bad reaction’

thankfully iwa was too busy checking to hear oikawa snarkily whisper and you sent him a glare that made him quiet down

‘haji-kun, im fine’

you dismissed and side stepped to go sit next to oikawa, completely brushing him off

now iwa was confused

you would usually smile up at him, say ‘aw~ are you worried about me, haji-kun?’ then skip over

not frown and act so coldly

‘oi, y/n, what-’

‘lets go to the bakery! theres a sale going on there!’

oikawa shouted which made you jolt in surprise

he knew of his best friend’s beginning interrogation but he knew you were too upset to be bothered by hajime’s questions

‘they have a buy one get one sale on milk bread! and those-those treats you like! theyre on sale too!’

omg oikawa is a real one 🥺

oikawa blinked harshly at you to go along with the act and you stuttered and nodded

‘uh-eung! yea!’

that was probably the moment that iwaizumi started noticing

except he thought it was a pining between his best friends rather than you towards him

ofc iwa was a loyal friend

he thought that you and oikawa were two people who were crushing on each other yet too afraid to say anything

tbh he shouldve seen this coming because duh you were an incredibly pretty girl and oikawa was the handsomest guy in the whole area!

it was almost,,, natural for you both to gravitate towards each other

maybe thats why,,,

he started to distance himself to give you both the space and want without him in between

maybe thats why,,,

he started to feel these feelings of,, jealousy?? like he started to feel a little scared and honestly he wasnt sure who to be jealous of bc he knew once you started dating, you’d both be too busy to hang out with him

maybe thats why,,,

he was no longer your friend

iwaizumi hajime became a simple stranger you would just pass by in the hall

it happened around the 2nd year of middle school

you and oikawa were still close friends but you have drifted away into not being as close while you and iwaizumi became,,,, distant

basically strangers

the boy you used to dream about when you were 8 and dreamt of marrying once you were old enough

he was no longer him

before, you and iwa were actually really close without oikawa

like you would hang out when oikawa was too busy with takeru

you both would go to the arcade and play games with no fear of oikawa whining and complaining to take turns

you had a lot of fun together and yet, all of a sudden, everything stopped

because iwa knew how,,, possessive oikawa was

he thought that if he were to continue being friends with you, he would risk losing his best friend out of jealousy or misunderstandings and he didnt want that precious bond to be ruined by a girl

even if that girl,,,

was you

thats why it was so awkward when you came over to oikawa’s house after so long and seeing him there, eating breakfast in the kitchen

your best friend didnt want to tell you that iwa spent the night bc quite frankly, oikawa was already fed up with this

you think he didnt know?

you think he didnt know that iwa distanced himself due to an unknown misunderstanding?

you think he didnt know that you also distanced yourself due to being hurt as he casted you aside?

and oikawa was also worried

he didnt want to ever bring up your name with iwa bc to be honest, he didnt think iwa even liked you all that much

he thought that iwa only tolerated you for so long bc you were the only girl who wasnt in love with oikawa and knew you long enough to be comfortable w you

but babie oiks is misunderstood that :(

he didnt want to ever bring up his name with you bc he knew how sensitive it was for you and how sad and pained you were when he suddenly stopped even replying to your texts

one time when you cornered him, he looked angry and gently pushed you back and quickly walked away

no he was scared that oikawa could see you both and misunderstand

‘just,,, stay away from me, okay? its better this way’

god you wanted to scream at him and shout at him and punch him but he kept silent and refused to answer your questions and refused to acknowledge your existence

you were so confused and you were just so hurt and eventually, you became indifferent to him and treated him the same way

anyways

you stepped into the house, not even bothering to shout your arrival and quickly wandered through the hallway before turning the corner to go to the kitchen

but you stopped, seeing the familiar hair with olive eyes eating breakfast on the kitchen island, also stopping with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth at the sight of you

your gazes clashed and you blinked before your lips formed into a thin line, turning and going to the fridge and look for food

iwa wasnt surprised

he figured you were both getting closer to dating and you were already basically living in his house

it all makes sense

BRUH THEYVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE THEY WERE LTR BORN LIKE BLS THEYRE JUST SIBLINGS

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

‘h-how are you’

he mumbled, trying to fix the awkward silence while cursing inside of how long oikawa was taking to shit

you hummed, taking a water bottle and slamming the fridge door shut, harder than necessary

‘oh, now you see me?’

you really didnt mean for it to be a snarky comment but it came out before you even realized what you said

he winced

‘listen, im-’

‘oh? youre here, y/n-chan!’

oikawa’s voice cut him off and he returned back to his bowl of rice, leaving you standing there furrowing your brows

you shrugged, already knowing that hajime was like this, so you turned to look at oikawa with a wrinkled nose at the sound of the toilet flushing

‘tooru, did you drink straight milk again? you know how it makes your stomach upset’

you chided and tooru turned red at the implication of his dookie

‘o-oi! y/n-chan! of course id know if i was lactose intolerant!’

i just think how funny it would be like the irony of his love for milk bread yet being lactose intolerant at the same time

he huffed and you nodded but not exactly believing him

‘kay kay’

you teased and walked to the living room but oikawa caught you in a headlock and he ruffled your hair while you complained and whined to let you go

you were giggling as tooru was giving you noogies, feeling the tension leave your body

all while iwa was watching

maybe it was because he stopped hanging out with you and havent seen you like this for almost a year

so carefree and so happy as you scored higher than him at the hoop game and he would begrudgingly let you hug him when he managed to win you a doll from the claw machine

but yea he definitely forgot your smile

he forgot how it looked like bc the last time you met gazes, you sent him a hurt glance and looked away and he knew he deserved that

god he hated it

but no, he was doing this for tooru

he was doing this because his best friend liked someone who actually deserved him

but dear god why did it hurt

iwa was starting to wonder if he made the right choice

he could easily handle you two dating

right?

maybe that was when iwa started to realize,,, he was starting to feel different towards you

the time apart definitely made him remember why he was friends with you

you weren’t like those girls he saw in tv or outside with the frilly clothes and the makeup and the fancy hair

no that wasnt you

you were different

you were too lazy to even pick out a cute outfit, opting for comfort with one of their sweatshirts and sweatpants

you preferred to chase after butterflies rather than sitting inside bc hajime’s adventurous spirit latched itself on to you too

you would usually climb the tree to get the volleyball that got stuck up in the branches bc tooru was too scared of heights and you wanted to prove your strength and capability

god you were so different

what if you liked him instead?

iwa startled himself with that thought in the middle of eating and caused him to choke on his rice

tooru noticed him coughing violently so he grabbed the water bottle from your hand and threw it straight towards the boy

iwa snapped the cap open,not caring where that water came from, and chugged it down before sighing in relief after the quite scary situation

you then realized what happened and you turned red, speedwalking into the living room

oiks totally didnt do that on purpose and he was doing the lenny face at you before switching masks and wearing a worried one for iwa

‘iwa-chan! you need to slow down!’

he chided and iwaizumi yelled at him to be quiet, completely clueless to the fact that he just shared an indirect kiss with you

but you did and lordie did you hate it

from then on,,,

iwa was just seeing you everywhere

iwa saw you from his classroom when you would go hang out with your new friends outside

he noticed you not even being too loud, only speaking up when asked while the others opted to continue talking about nonsense you probably gave no care about with how you secretly rolled your eyes

those moments made him laugh

the next time you both ran into each other was during his morning practice

oikawa phoned you in the morning while you were getting ready, saying he accidentally left his knee pads at home and he was already at school but you werent so he wanted you to bring them to him

you knew damn well that iwaizumi hajime would be there but you didnt care because youre not even friends anymore after he just dropped you like that

YES SISTER WE DESERVE BETTER

so thats why you found yourself pushing the metal gym door open at 6 in the morning and shouting oikawa’s name

his eyes brightened at your voice and he dropped the ball to run towards you by the door

‘oh my god thank you so much, y/n-chan!’

he shouted and hugged you out of excitement while you cringed and hit him to get off of you

‘ew dont touch me trashykawa’

you mumbled and he whined, finally stepping away with a pout

iwa was watching you both from the side and he blinked, wondering if you were trying a new hairstyle

if not, then you changed something bc currently, you practically glowing to him

he watched you scold oikawa for being forgetful and him begging for forgiveness but also thanking you before he was scoldede again by the coach

but the coach was relieved that he could finally play with the proper equipment and not risk anymore injuries

oikawa was already bidding you good bye and you were about to turn to leave when you finally met the many gazes of iwaizumi hajime

your eyebrows unconsciously furrowed together and your lips turned to a frown then you sharply turned and walked through the doors

unbeknownst to him, oikawa watched as his best friend’s face turned hurt at your expression and remained staring at the door you just went out of even when you were already gone

‘iwa-chan, lets get to practice’

after that

iwa has concluded god has decided to be mean to him

bc who was giving him these weird heart attacks and tummy aches at the simple sight of you?

literally he ignored you for a good time yet now hes noticing you again?

what kinda unfairness-

but you proved to accept his previous behavior by not even giving him a single glance anymore

that made him sad so iwa would sometimes stop doing what hes doing so he could freely stare at you laugh at something a classmate said during class

thats totally not creepy iwa lol

he doesnt even know hes doing it sometimes bc hes so absorbed on trying to figure out the answers of his questions

but the worst was when he got caught

you sat at the very front and oikawa and iwa sat at the back

it was lunchtime and you were eating with a few girls and a guy from another class and yall were laughing and talking together

iwa had oikawa and these other guys makki and matsukawa from the class next door to eat lunch with

can i please just dream that our third year seijoh boys were actually friends since the very beginning like pls and thanks

oikawa was rambling about how some girl giving him cookies the other day when he noticed iwa not listening but staring at you while moving his chopsticks around

poor iwa-chan was confused as to how even with messy hair, you still looked beautiful?

like no matter what angle or how you turned, the light always seemed to hit you perfectly to accent out your features

how was that possible?

‘-and she just-iwa-chan? iwaizumi?’

he called out and said boy jolted, eyes widening at the confused, bored, and knowing eyes

‘hm?’

‘oh? were you looking at y/n-chan?’

oikawa teased and the gojira fanboy waved his hands around to deny that statement

but makki chuckled and leaned in

‘hm, wouldnt blame ya. shes really pretty you know? some guy in our class saw the girls ranking and shes in the top 5′

okay iwa was angry

was it because everyone else noticed how pretty you are?

was it because you were part of this list?

was it because his own friend said you were pretty?

why did he even care anyways?!

oikawa smirked at the clenched fist under the table and decided to poke fun even more

‘oh really? well, it doesnt really matter because its always the girl’s decision right? but most of the time, their choice is utter trash’

the meme duo shared a confused look

‘hah? what are you going on about, oikawa’

oikawa internally apologized to you after what hes about to do because hes so tired and exhausted of having to be so careful and walking on eggshells between you two

so he did an oikawa move

‘yanno how y/n-chan and i have been friends since we were little ducklings right? so ages ago, like ages ago, little y/n-chan had a crush on this brute bc for some reason she thought he was brave or something and apparently thats appealing to girls rather than the nice and gentlemanly type. but of course, yanno how this goes, he pooped up and now hes stuck on doing this weird stalking staring thing. right, iwa-chan~?’

okay im sorry i take it back oikawa is a bitch

iwa shook

you,,, had a what on who?!

a crush on him?!

is he the brute?!

so it wasnt oikawa?

it was to him?

then why did you act like that?

why did you both act like that?

‘what’

iwaizumi mumbled and he met oikawa’s pointed gaze

‘hmm,,,, you dont have to worry about it anymore though since theyre not even friends anymore. but listen to me and listen well, makki, mattsun, if you hurt a girl even once, theyre never going to forget it. my sister said that apparently theres this little voice in their head that tells them that theyre going to get hurt again and thats where their trust issues begin to develop and--IWA-CHAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!’

iwa was already out of his seat and straight walking towards you and your group before stopping beside your chair

your friends quieted down at the sight of the known boy and you blinked then turned your head to see him, your eyes instantly turning dark and looking away immediately

‘what the hell do you want’

you hissed and natsu almost choked on his rice ball if it wasnt for another girl patting his back

‘it was me, right? all along, not oikawa, but me?’

his meek voice made you look up in confusion

‘what are you talking-’

‘you chose me instead him’

then it was like a click that you realized what he said

‘how did you know’

‘i-i’

he stuttered but was cut off when the teacher finally arrived to announce the end of lunch and iwa was forced to go back to his seat

the whole class time, you would sneak glances back and iwa would be staring at his paper while oikawa would wink at you and give you smirks

OH GOD HE TOLD HIM

after class you stomped up to the brunette haired boy

‘how could you?! why did you tell-’

‘lets talk, y/n? please?’

iwa was holding your arm and you glared at him before turning away and walking away

oikawa patted him on the shoulder in good luck and whispered,

‘get your girl’

the rooftop ledge looked really delicious right now

no words were exchanged so you were both just silent with you staring at him while he was looking off to the side

‘so what? now you know and so what do you want?’

you spoke first and iwa guiltily met your eyes

‘everything was,,, a mess. i misunderstood and i didnt communicate and i,,, messed up’

he mumbled the last part but you caught it perfectly causing you to scoff

‘damn right you did. so now you know and then youre going to do the cliche thing they do in those dramas where you magically profess your love for me and-’

‘hey y/n lets date’

you froze and looked at him shocked with wide eyes and jaw dropped

‘excuse me? who are you to say that?!’

you shrieked

‘first you think i have some big crush on tooru and this caused you to basically drop me like a damn pencil and second youre asking me to date you? iwaizumi hajime i thought you were always the smarter one. what the hell are you spouting you damn imbecile-’

iwa did the only thing he thought of

he quickly leaned forward and pecked your lips

he saw some guy do it in a telenovela that his mom watched a week ago and that was how the girl got silent so iwa thought it would be smart to shut you up that way

and it worked

bc you were so conflicted: angry, confused, sad, happy

you was the whole range of emotions in one second

‘i was stupid. and i was dumb. i wanted to give you and shittykawa space because i thought he liked you and he would be mad and misunderstand if we continued hanging out without him. but you shouldve told me you liked me, baka. maybe i wouldve come to like you back’

iwa rambled but your eyes watered and you huffed, slapping him across the face but pulled his collar to kiss him again

tbh iwa was shook bc he got 2 kisses in a row today and hes never been kissed before and its from this really pretty girl

‘how dare you kiss me and still not like me’

you seethed when you pulled away

but iwa held your hands

‘im starting to come to. give me time and i’ll accept your confession’

and give him time you did bc you finally were able to try and mend that friendship again and soon, you were already starting to fall back in love with him

but iwa also

during the end of your 2nd year, iwa nervously tugged you to the rooftop and you smirked

‘what? you gonna profess your love for me haji-kun?’

you teased and expected him to laugh and smack you gently but he didnt

he turned red and he looked down at his shoes as he magically produced a flower out of nowhere

‘please accept me, y/n!’

he shouted while holding out the single white carnation

your eyebrows scrunched and you grabbed the flower from his hands before punching him weakly

‘stupid! stupid haji-kun! i already accepted you! since we were five! how could you not see my feelings’

you whimpered, trying to hide the blush on your face but he smothered you to a hug, making you both topple over in the process

you had the cliched term of ‘summer love’

of course you still hung out with tooru but you both would hang out other days just you both

like you and iwa liked going over to some old playground by your house and you both would watch the sky on top of the slide assembly while talking about stupid stuff and the future

‘haji-kun, do you know what you want to be when youre old?’

you asked and he turned his head to look at you but you were focused on the stars

‘gojira’

he simply replied and you giggled, reaching over to hit his chest

‘baka. you cant be gojira-san’

iwa found himself giggling with you before he reached down to softly interwine your fingers and hold them up to look at them

‘hm, i dont really know. maybe a volleyball player. or someone in the volleyball team, i dont know’

you hummed, knowing him and tooru’s shared love for the sport

‘i wanna be a doctor. i want to save lives and help people and make money too! my mothers friend offered to intern me but apparently im still too young’

you pouted

iwa listened to you but then a lightbulb rang in his head

‘oi, y/n’

he started and you looked at him

‘you can be our manager. or medic. or doctor person. that bastard is going to push himself even harder because naoki-senpai gave him that damn position and he might kill himself trying to beat that farmer dude. besides, shittykawa is going to be the captain next year and i’ll be vice so youd easily get it anyways. so you in?’

you blinked at him before breaking out to a smile

‘eung! i wanna see my baby play what he loves!’

iwa’s face contorted to disgust

‘bABy?! iM nOt a BABY! im A mAn!! mAN!!’

‘mhm, okay. my mans, haji bara arms is my mans’

your relationship is very balanced with the perfect ratio of crackhead and seriousness and understanding bc as we ALL KNOW EVERYTHING STARTED W A MISUNDERSTANDING

like if he accidentally said something that hurt your feelings like that dress incident from years ago btw you brought it up to him and told him you were practically traumatized by that and he kept on apologizing and appearing at your doorstep with a white carnation in apology you would gently tell him bc communication is K E Y and he would tell you sorry and you guys would understand and make up

you guys were so lovey dovey that ltr oikawa would fake gag and throw up to the side when he catches you guys even doing things like holding hands

like bls he sees that flesh to flesh contact and he wretches his breakfast

‘ew, its the settling down for me’

‘its the flatness of the ass for me’

you stuck your tongue out while he pouted and iwa looked so proud like oml

you guys were still at the honeymoon phase where everything was peaches and rainbows and it continued until your 3rd year

as mentioned above, iwa basically gave you the managerial position

like yall were walking to school during the first day talking about how worried yall were at passing your classes when suddenly he was all like ‘ill see you in the gym later?’

you smiled and blinked confusingly

‘hm? you want a cheerleader there, baby?’

he flushed red at the nickname and furrowed his eyebrows

‘baka, stop calling me that’

you giggled and dodged his gentle smack but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close to his chest

‘i thought we already agreed that you would be our medic slash manager? i mean, it could give you experience for the future right?’

you rested your chin on his front to look up at him and your face held a teasing smirk

‘hmmm~~~ haji-kun just admit it. you want me to be there to cheer you on~’

you teased and nuzzled your cheek on him

iwa scoffed but he couldnt help a soft smile appearing

‘i mean-yea, but its for the future so ill help you every way i can’

‘oya? the future? will you marry me in the future, haji-kun?’

‘MARRY?! HOW DID YOU GET MARRY OUT OF THAT, BRAT’

‘AAWWWWW DONT BE SUCH A TSUNTSUN HAJI-KU-ACKDKJFSLKJNOT THE HAIR!!!’

sure enough you were at the gym after school

the coaches knew you werent a fangirl of oikawa bc hes seen you since the very beginning and oikawa clears you are actually a sister to him and you were fit for the job

ofc hes captain and someone as good as oikawa was going to get what he wants

the gym was full of newbies and recruits hoping to get into the powerhouse team and your eyes scanned to find those ridiculously pretty olive eyes that belonged to your beloved-

‘HAJI-KUN~~!!!’

you waved and shouted loudly, gaining his and everyone else’s attention as well

the underclassmen cooed and awed at you bc their senpai who was famous for being really pretty was in the building

‘waaaa its l/n-senpai’

‘shes so pretty’

‘oMG shes righT iN FroNT oF me!!’

yea you get the gist

the poor ‘haji-kun’ was shrinking under the attention and was growling at oikawa’s teasing look but he begrudgingly held his arms out for you to run into them and snuggle into him

‘hmmm i missed you, haji-kun. im really sad we’re in different classes this year. but then again! i can be here with you!’

you pouted and he ruffled your hair affectionately

‘why else do you think i offered it brat’

oikawa rolled his eyes and gagged before taking your arm to the coach so he could sort you out

‘honestly! not in front of the children, okay?!’

but everything was quickly resolved and you were finally officially their manager/medic

you did managerial duties and you were the go-to when someone falls harshly or gets hurt in any way

in between homework, school, reading medical books, and practice, you and iwa havent spent a lot of time together and tbh that was quite straining your relationship??

like it was something that you saw coming and you both even had a talk about it but you still feel like you didnt prepare enough when it did come

one day, it was monday and there was no practice so you and iwa were walking home together

he squeezed your hand occassionally and you would sing and hum while walking

and omg his heart would balloon up when you would smile up at him and giggle when you would catch him staring

he honestly thought youd both hang out and just lay on the couch, snuggle, yanno the routine

but once you pulled out your textbooks, notebooks, and pens, he was confused

like he even held your hands and stopped you from pulling anything else out

‘y/n? i thought we were,, watching a movie or something?’

you blinked and shook your head

‘i need to study for a test and i still need to memorize how to treat a sprain, haji-kun. there’s more important things to do right now. maybe later?’

more important things?!

more important than showering you with love?

more important than even spending a second with him?

now, dont get him wrong, iwaizumi hajime was by no means a clingy and possessive boyfriend

he understood the boundaries and he understood the priorities

but dear god its been WEEKS since he even hung out w you since your entire schedule seemed to throw him out of loop and acted as if he didnt exist

and now, he was aggrivated and irritated and he wanted nothing but to just cuddle his girlfriend

you noticed his huff and pout but he remained silent

you quirked an eyebrow and placed your pen down

‘haji? whats wrong?’

his eyes snapped to you and you knew now he was angry

‘oh? were you able to spare a few seconds for dear old me?’

you were taken aback and you knew there was a fight brewing so you hid your growing irritation and calmly put your things aside

‘hajime, what are you on about?’

you pried and he looked shocked, almost offended

‘what am i on about? what am i on about? y/n, do you know the last time i even came over? the last time i held you and just talked?’

his voice got louder by every word and you quickly stood up

‘dont you dare raise your voice at me, hajime. if we have a problem, we talked over it calmly. we dont yell or shout, nothing gets resolved. we talked about this’

but he scoffed

‘talked? when was that? when did we actually just talk? hm? because I sure as hell dont remember it’

youve only seen hajime angry once and it was when you lied to him to go spend time with oikawa

okay in your defense, oikawa was having a panic attack and he begged you not to tell iwa because he didnt want to be scolded by iwa even though you kept telling him that iwa wasnt like that

and theres a reason as to why its only been a one-time thing because iwa was known to have patience that was as long as the damn nile river

except for oikawa bc it seems oikawa just cuts that patience by a million

and when he finally snaps, its when he couldnt take it anymore and he finally gets loose

when iwaizumi hajime was angry, you really done it

you didnt really know how you handled that anger so you were at a loss and you were feeling conflicted and pained at the way he looked at you

‘h-hajime,,,’

you started and he looked at you expectantly

‘well? when did we last actually talk outside the school premises y/n?’

there was that inner witty voice of yours that wanted to say ‘right now?’ but you held it in bc he was completely serious

‘hajime, please understand. i-i dont want to let anyone down! my grades! the team! i-’

‘but what about me, y/n?’

he tiredly asked

‘do those things-those people- matter more than me? and i really really dont want to ask that but im so so confused y/n’

despite sounding manipulative, you knew iwa was feeling defeated and he couldnt help but ask those questions and sound so desperate

so you scrambled to sit next to him on the couch and held him against you

‘of course you matter to me-haji you mean everything to me, you understand? god, if an adult hears me theyd think im crazy but i love you, hajime. i love you and im so sorry if i ever made you feel that way because i really didnt mean to, okay? im so sorry’

you sobbed and he turned to fully envelop you into his arms and he sighed contently, remembering how good it felt to have you right there

‘no, im sorry, doll. i was being clingy and i didnt mean to lash out, i-’

you slightly let go and cupped his face

‘nonono you were perfectly valid. what you felt was perfectly reasonable. i havent been a good girlfriend lately, huh?’

you sadly smiled but he kissed you, holding you even closer

‘youre always a good one to me. always. just with a not good schedule but we can fix that, right?’

SORRY I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A FIGHTING SCENE BC ITS ANGSTY AND I DONT DO WELL WITH ANGST BC IT MAKES ME CRY 😭

tbh that was really your only big fight

even when you guys graduated middle school, you both were still quite happy and you both worked hard to make time for each other

HOWEVER

when high school arrived, you both had chosen an extremely hard decision

you chose to go to karasuno while oikawa and iwa went to seijoh

which was a,,,, hard and difficult decision

in fact, you both didnt have a fight per se, just a disagreement that ended in like 30 minutes lmao

tbh its so scary and concerning of how rarely you both have bad times and how quickly it gets resolved

BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS AN ANGST REQUEST SO ILL OF COURSE BRING IN THE SADNESS

you were busy with karasuno and you were actually taking college courses since you wanted to have a good record if you ever wanted to get into a medical field

that meant you had a lot of homework and most of your time was spent with schoolwork or interning for that family friend mentioned earlier

and you were also a manager for the volleyball team bc karasuno is a butt and they require you to have an after school club

so that meant,,,

no time for iwa

and fate just so happens to hate you bc the days you did have off, he would be busy with volleyball and he wouldnt be able to spend time with you

even weekends were like that

eventually, you both went for 2 months with no contact, just a few text messages and calls

and that strained your former strong relationship

and you knew that iwa was getting angry again with how he even typed his responses

‘want me to bring over snacks for the team?’

‘its okay. wouldnt want you to waste time or anything’

like that type of bull

you were getting increasingly worried because you havent had a good proper time to talk to him about it and you didnt want to fight over the phone

your best friend, kiyoko, noticed your anxious ticks and she snapped you out of your current daydream

‘hey? y/n? you okay?’

she gently asked and you blinked before nodding

‘mhm. just,,, thinking’

but she didnt buy that lie because you went back to chewing your lips and eyes even watering

‘i can revise your notes for you, y/n. and the team isnt doing anything big so i can handle it. you just go see him after school bc i cant handle you being sad anymore’

kiyoko gently smiled and you almost cried bc finally! you were able to clear your schedule enough to go visit your boyfriend

at the end of the school day, you bolted out of there and you were running and huffing all the way to seijoh bc you really wanted to talk to him as soon as possible

the gym was clear in view and you smiled, looking forward to seeing your beloved boy, when you saw him and oikawa being surrounded by girls

now keep in mind, youve suffered through middle school with oikawa and you were his best friend and has known him since you were a toddler

so you know of his looks and the attraction it brought him from all the females

so that didnt really bother you

but what bothered you was the horde of girls that stuck on to your boyfriend and he didnt even look bothered

just,,, blank

not even pushing away or feeding into their actions

just,,, standing there

‘haji?’

you called out and as if he had a built-in sensor for you, his ears twitched and he swiveled to look at you

‘y/n’

he breathed out and you smiled gently

iwa quickly moved away from the girls and he grabbed your hand so you both could go somewhere else to talk privately

the back of the gym was quiet and you leaned against the wall, iwa joining you shortly

‘how-how are you?’

you asked and he scoffed, totally surprising you

‘is this how we are y/n? asking each other questions as if we’re friends who are meeting for the first time in a while? wait--actually we are arent we?’

you grimaced and looked to the side, knowing he starts his stages of anger with being passive aggressive

‘haji,, please understand’

you pleaded and swiveled to stand in front of him

iwa didnt meet your eyes, instead shoving his hands in his pants pockets and eyes trained to his shoes as he kicked rocks

‘y/n, ive been trying,, for months ive been understanding. please dont ask me to understand anymore’

he snipped and you sniffed

‘im doing this because-because my grades are starting to matter! my future is resting on these years! i have to-’

‘dont you think i know that?!’

he cut you off harshly

your eyes were shaking at his attempt to calm himself down and his trembling hands

‘dont you think i know that you are doing this for that? because ive known you since i was five y/n and i know you would push everything-everyone- else aside to reach a damn goal of yours. no matter the cost, as long as you get it, right? well youve always been like that and somehow i still accepted that yet years later here we are’

iwa waved his arms around to accentuate his point and hurt was bubbling inside your chest at a subtle jab at your flaw

‘well im sorry mr. volleyball ace player! im not talented in any area so i have to depend on my studies to get me a future! so fck me for trying to survive and create a life for us!’

‘us?! how is this for us?! y/n we cant even last a single year being apart and youre already thinking ahead of the future?!’

‘im doing this for you! for us! just wait hajime! we will be happy-’

‘I DONT CARE IF ITS FOR THE FCKING FUTURE! I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! AND WHY DOES THE FCKING FUTURE MATTER SO DAMN MUCH WHEN WE CANT EVEN-’

‘BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!’

you shrieked

‘HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME IF YOURE NOT LOVING ME?!’

he huffed and harshly wiped away tears that fell

your lips trembled, hands shakingly reaching out to grasp his arms

‘ha-hajime,, don-’

‘should we break up?’

was he asking you this right now?

seriously?

‘what?’

you whispered and he finally looked up to let you see his pained eyes

‘y/n do you know what day it was yesterday?’

he asked and you blinked, looking everywhere as you tried to remember any important events

‘t-tuesday?’

that seemed to snap his patience

with an angry grunt, he turned to punch the wall and crouch to hide his face in his hands

‘damn it, y/n’

he whimpered and your heart broke as you could hear his cries

then it clicked

anniversary

it was your 2nd anniversary

and you completely missed it

completely forgotten

you shrunk back and let out a cry before placing a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries

‘ha-haji-’

you sniffled and you tried to go closer to him but he wiped his eyes and stood back up

‘y/n lets break up’

iwa requested with a cracked smile

your eyes widened and you ran to his chest, wrapping your arms around him as if you let go, he would disappear

‘haji, we can talk about this! we cant-please dont do this-i can fix this-’

‘we will only hurt ourselves even more if we continue this. i dont want us to hurt anymore y/n. so please, for once, listen to me’

your heart shattering cries filled your space and he didnt think it was this hard until he finally said it

it was a decision that he has been hanging around for a while and even consulted oikawa about it

‘iwa-chan, if you love y/n so much, its best to let her go. dont make you both suffer anymore’

‘i cant-hajime youre it for me-please dont leave-’

you hiccuped and continued to sob

but iwa remained a pillar and squeezed you tightly against him

‘darling i believe we were meant to be. but we just did it all wrong. when the time is right, lets start over again’

he whispered, finally breaking down with you in his arms

-------

iwaizumi hajime became a taboo word for you

even with oikawa, he swore and vowed to never say either of your names and made sure that you would not be around the area when iwa would come over

like even when he knew iwa would just stay inside, he would be constantly on the lookout to make sure you both didnt see each other

the last time was when you both saw each other in the morning as you exited your house to walk to school

it must’ve been a few months after the breakup and even oikawa felt the raw pain hovering in the air

it was suffocating and oikawa had to motion you to walk because if you both stayed even a second, someone-or both- would start crying

you continued like that for years until you reached your third year

you continued being part of the volleyball team as the medic while kiyoko was the manager

the new recruits were causing up a storm and you were particularly fond of your kita kouhai kageyama tobio

‘kageyama? kageyama tobio?’

you asked once you caught sight of the familiar looking blueberry

he looked up and recognized you as his former manager

‘l/n-senpai!’

he shouted and you ran up to give the boy a hug

‘gosh! youre so tall now! i remembered when you were wee tall!’

you teased and ruffled his hair

‘uh-you know him, y/n?’

suga asked and you nodded

‘eung! we went to the same middle school and i was a manager there’

‘she was friends with iwa-’

ope

something flashed in your eyes

kiyoko knew that name bc of how you were so depressed about it for 2 years and she started shouting random nonsense, scaring the 2nd and first years

‘y/n! we got new medical tape!’

she sang out and you perked up

‘finally?! we dont have to use duct tape anymore?!’

you excitedly ran over and everyone was both shook that kiyoko was loud and two, you were actually excited over medical tape

kageyama shrugged and continued on training

he kinda figured something happened so he never said anything or asked you anything in fear of upsetting you

and when it was announced that you were going to a practice match with seijoh, kiyoko actually told you she would cover it to make sure you dont see him there

‘its fine, y/n, i got you’

but ofc, you couldnt skip inter high

ltr an event when anyone in the team could get injured so you forced yourself to just ignore it and go

you did a good job of hiding whenever he was in view until the time they actually faced each other

you were walking alongside kiyoko and settling some things down at the bench when you felt his stare

you grimaced at his intense stare and the entire team mistakenly took it as him being interested in you

‘HAH?! LOOK AWAY YOU BEANSPROUT!’

noya growled

‘YEA! DONT LOOK!’

ofc hinata echoed

the 3 seijoh third years exchanged looks of unease when iwa sighed and looked away

‘oi! dont do that, boke!’

kageyama chided and hit the orange boy with a water bottle at the head

hinata whined and glared at him

‘that porcupine was looking at l/n-senpai! he wants to steal her!’

‘boke-’

‘doesnt matter anyways. we broke up ages ago’

you tried to say it jokingly but they couldnt miss the crack in your voice

‘hah?! he broke up with you?! you?! goddess l/n-san?!’

tanaka raged and noya had his own face of shock

the famous seijoh ace dated you?!

this handsome bara arms muscle buff man had the priviledge to date you and yet broke up with you?!

‘yall didnt know that?’

kageyama questioned and everyone glared at him

‘how do you know’

‘i just did. i didnt want to say anything for this same reason that you guys didnt know and she wouldnt want her business out there’

he simply replied and continued filing his nails

you looked up and smiled

‘it doesnt matter anymore. it was years ago so its fine’

‘L/N-SAN WE WILL AVENGE YOU!’

‘WE WILL! WE WILL!!’

the three stooges swore and you smiled softly, ruffling each boy’s hair

‘then go out there and make me proud’

but we know how this goes

they lost and you were so devastated for the others and you dropped your bag to go and comfort a crying hinata

‘sshh, dont cry dont cry. im right here’

you cooed and he accepted your embrace, hugging you tightly

once he finally calmed down, you were able to get him to a good enough condition to walk to the bus to go home

you went back to get your bag when you found something on top of it

a single white carnation

and a small ripped piece of paper that said,

‘my name is iwaizumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

a/n: iknowiknowiknow i died but im not back to life and this request was lowkey difficult and i dont think i did a good job w it because angst always gets too angsty for me but i couldnt resist giving this a sad ending like bls!!! and uwu im still working on that oikawa route bc ya girl cant decide how angsty she wants it to beeee and i have like 4 different versions of the route in my drafts hehehe,,,, but i hope yall liked this and uwu ive never been in a serious relationship before so i wouldnt know what to fight about and came up with this:(

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tillthelandslide · 4 years

Text

Age Gap

Hi everyone! I really hope everyone reading enjoys this. It’s my first ever Henry Cavill fan fic so I am a little apprehensive about posting it. I throughly enjoyed writing it so please be sure to give me feedback and any and all ideas for future Henry Cavill fan fics would be appreciated.

Thank you to @toomanystoriessolittletime for reading over this for me, you’re amazing.

Hope you enjoy - L

You and Henry had been dating for over a year now. Things were great, he was the kindest, most caring and loving person you had ever met. He was so inspiring and passionate about his work and those around him. He was genuinely interested in everyone's lives and he truly cared for the people in his life, including you. He was the most beautiful person both inside and out and you were so lucky to have him in your life.

Henry had just posted a very cute picture of the both of you on his Instagram.

henrycavill:

Liked by freyaallan, anyachalotra, joeybateyofficial and 1,122,800 others

henrycavill horse riding and training for The Witcher 2 @your_username never a dull moment with you by my side

View all 21,669 comments

your_username always my love ❤️ cant wait for everyone to see how amazing you were

↳ henrycavill i love you

↳ your_username i love you too. Kinda mad at you, making me look all unprofessional, kissing my clients 😂

↳ henrycavill hope I’m the only client you kiss

↳ joeybateyofficial I’m the only client you kiss @henrycavill 😂

anyachalotra was a pleasure working with you again @your_username. Does he always ride topless or?? 😂

↳ your_username it was so fun! cant wait for everyone to see you in action 🤷🏼‍♀️not complaining though 😂

fan1 omg this is so cute

fan2 wow Henry really loves her. Dont blame him 😍

fan3 wait she worked on the Witcher?? what did she even do, wtf??

↳ fan4 shock horror! 😳y/n acutally has a job! don’t be silly, she’s so hard working, leave her be 🙄

↳ your_username @fan4 thank you lovely 💜

The majority of his fans went wild, they were happy for him but very curious who you were, they knew you had been friends with Henry for ages and had always said how beautiful you were and had recently learnt that the two of you were dating after Henry had posted a cute video to his story of Kal kissing you before Henry said "I'm getting cheated on with my own dog" . Infact it was often joked that both you and Henry were the hottest nerds ever (you too were a massive gamer and a huge fan of the Witcher amongst many other fantasy games and films).

However, a few nasty people had to comment about the age gap between the two of you. You were 25 and Henry was 37. But the age gap didn't matter to you or to Henry and the horrible comments about it made you both annoyed and upset.

Today Henry had invited you to bring Kal, his beloved American Akita, along to an interview he had. You agreed because you knew it meant you could spend more of the day with Henry and you throughly enjoyed watching him work.

"Today we are joined by Henry Cavill, known for being Superman, August Walker, Geralt of Rivia and many more. How are you today Henry?" The interviewer said, introducing Henry and smiling at him.

Henry offered a nice smile back before saying "I'm very good thank you, how are you?"

"Good thank you, very excited for this interview. So the trailer for season 2 of the Witcher has just been released and we're all very excited" he said making Henry chuckle.

"I'm excited for everyone to see it" he said. Henry and the interviewer then spoke about the filming of season 2 for a long while. You sat petting Kal who had found comfort in between your legs resting his head on your thighs. You were admiring Henry when the interviewer asked a question about you.

"So we are joined by your lovely girlfriend who is a massive fan of the Witcher games and books, yes?"

"We are indeed" Henry said, winking at you before continuing "she's a even bigger nerd about it than me. She's played the Witcher 1 and 2 twice and has played Wild Hunt, 3 times now I think?" he said glancing at you for reassurance, in which you nodded, making him nod to the interviewer.

"Wow that's impressive" the interviewer said, genuinely impressed.

"Now we have to ask, do the constant criticism about your age gap affect the both of you, or do you just ignore it?" he said referring to you being quite a bit younger than Henry.

"Um, yes and no" he said the gravelly tone of Geralt peaking through a tad. "The age gap isn't a problem in our relationship, we're both adults and we're both fairly mature" he said trying to make light of the situation and making the interview laugh.

"No but seriously I am very happy with y/n. She is the most amazing woman in my life, sorry Mum, she is caring and loving and so talented and passionate. The thing that does get annoying about the comments are the ones saying y/n is using me for my money or for the fame. Because that couldn't be any farther from the truth " he said making you smile (and the interviewer). "Anyone who knows the first thing about y/n knows that she is the most career driven person in the world, just because she doesn't share what she does with the world in the same way I do, doesn't mean she doesn't have a job" he said addressing many rumors that said you don't have a job, which quite frankly made you chuckle.

"And its not as if y/n doesn't talk about her job at all, in fact it's something she loves talking about because she's so passionate about it and she's so good at it" he said.

"She owns her own stables, is that correct?" The interviewer asked reading from a card in his lap, making you smile at how he researched you before this interview (Henry was asked if he was comfortable talking about your relationship, in which he said of course because he often loves talking people's ears off about you).

"Yes she does. But she also works on film and TV sets" Henry said making the interviewer hum.

"Her horses have been used many times in films right?" the interviewer said making Henry nod proudly.

"Zeus who plays Roach in the Witcher is actually one of y/ns horses. She works on TV sets and films, training actors on horses. She helped train all of the actors in the Witcher on their horses, including me. Everyone on set, especially Freya, Anya and Joey, absolutely loved her" he said proudly.

"I'm even more impressed now. And hopefully that puts some of the rumors to bed. It is honestly so lovely to hear the way you speak about her" the interviewer said making Henry gush a little.

"She's lovely, I'm very proud of her" Henry said looking off camera at you, making you blush.

"And she's easy on the eyes too which is a bonus. Think my dog Kal loves her more than me though" he said making you and the interviewer chuckle and making Kal perk up, upon hearing his name.

They wrapped up the interview after talking about season 2 a little more, showing some teaser videos and playing a game of who's most likely to. Henry thanked the interviewer for being so kind, signing some stuff for him before walking to you, you filming him as he did so.

He pet Kal on the head before placing a quick kiss to your lips

"You're too sweet Hen" you said, placing your arms around his waist as his rested around your shoulders.

"Only speaking the truth love. The fans are going to go crazy when they see that interview" he said leaning down to place a proper kiss against your lips, making you sigh against him.

"Hmm, come home with me" he says in his Geralt voice making you chuckle against him and shoving his chest jokingly, making Kal buck his head in between you which made Henry grunt.

"Stop getting jealous" he said rubbing behind Kal's ears making him pant up at him.

"Now who's cheating with his dog?" you said making him chuckle and place his hand in yours.

"Let's go home" he says, placing Kals leash in his other hand, saying goodbye to the people along the way as you were leaving.

You both got into Henry’s car, Kal sitting inbetween you legs again then posted a video to your Instagram feed.

your_username:

Liked by henrycavill, freyaallan and 400,800 more

your_username thank you for letting me and Kal join you for your interview today and thank you for all the wonderful things you said. Your love and support means the world to me Hen ❤️@henrycavill

View all 4,000 comments

henrycavill of course my love, love you more than life itself ❤️

↳ yourusername 🥰 love you too

fan4 soo cute I can’t deal

fan6 the way they are so cute and fluffy on each others posts makes my heart burst. soft henry is the best

↳ yourusername makes my heart burst too. can confirm that not soft henry is pretty good too

↳ fan6 omg you replied, what in the world? also get it sis

↳ henrycavill she does

↳ freyaallan gross. na jk love you both

#henry #henry cavill #henry cavill fluff #henry cavill smut #geralt #geralt smut #harry styles #augustwalker #superman #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill imagines

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taelme · 4 years

Text

Enemies-to-lovers!Bang Chan

request: Hey! Can i request and enemies to lovers slow burn with bang chan where they dont like each other but theres undeniable chemistry

genre: enemies-to-lovers!au, workplace/office!au, (fluff, slow burn, lots of denial of feelings lol)

pairing/s: Chan / Reader (ft Seungmin and some ocs!)

word count: 21k rip I got pretty carried away

tw: not any prominent ones that I can think of, kind of hints of the whole misogyny in the workplace kind of thing

a/n: I got super carried away writing this I hope you guys like it haha im currently working on the other requests so do look forward to those!! ill try to put them out as soon as I can~~ all this staying at home is really giving me time to write... ( I HAD TO use this gif I just HAD TO) but yes this was a little hard to find reasons why y/n wld hate chan bc im for the chan is an angel agenda but I ended up having so much fun ok BYE

“Hey, you free to get lunch later?” You’d bumped into your friend who worked in the company’s legal department, Seungmin, on a Thursday morning while you were in the pantry preparing coffee and tidbits for your boss.

You nodded, “uh-huh,” mixing the coffee absently, “what are you doing here?”

Seungmin shrugged, leaning against the counter as he munched on a cookie, “felt like taking a walk. Things have been pretty busy in the legal department lately.”

“Why?”

Seungmin gave you a cheeky smile, shrugging, “can’t say, but you’ll find out soon enough.”

You rolled your eyes, gritting your teeth with feigned menace towards him (his smile stayed unwavering, even sticking his tongue out at you to mock you).

“Who’s that for?” Seungmin gestured to the coffee mugs on the tray.

“Mr Bang’s supposed to be meeting his nephew or something, he made it seem really important but all he told me was that it’s for his nephew,” you shrugged, glancing down at your two cups of coffee, realisation hitting you.

“Shit, that just reminded me. He said his nephew doesn’t drink coffee. Do you want this?” You shot Seungmin a pleading look, holding up your now unneeded cup of coffee.

Seungmin scoffed, taking the mug from you wordlessly, “how exciting your job is, huh,” he deadpanned, sipping the coffee, “wanna reconsider joining the legal department now?”

You rolled your eyes.

“I’m perfectly satisfied with my job now, thank you very much.”

You’d prepared a pot of tea, careful not to spill the water onto the counter as you did so, transferring the pot onto your tray, “and plus, considering the amount of money I get paid for the amount of work I do, I’m more than happy.”

Seungmin scoffed, “should’ve known it was because of the money.”

“Alright, I’ve gotta go, see you later,” you said, picking up your tray as Seungmin waved his hand with cookie crumbs on his fingers, the clicking of your heels growing softer as you walked further away.

Reaching the door of your boss’ office, you’d been able to faintly make out 2 silhouettes through the window from where you stood, composing yourself to make a good impression as you knocked on the door. Hearing your boss grunt, you’d pushed the door open with your shoulder, your gaze focused on the coffee table as you greeted your boss.

Setting the pot of tea on the table, you’d cast a glance at the recipient, your eyes widening when you’d spotted the boy with dyed hair sitting on the plush leather sofa facing your boss, dressed in a clean white button-down and tie, an equally well-ironed pair of pants, his posture relaxed with his legs spread casually.

His gaze was on you, as if analysing your movements, making you direct your gaze back to your task at hand, setting the saucer with the cup of coffee onto the coffee table, placing the small biscuits your boss liked in the middle of the two.

Holding the tray close to your chest, you cast a glance at your boss, about to bow in greeting and head back out when his voice had stopped you.

“Y/N, please, stay here. I’d like to discuss something with you and my nephew.”

Your eyebrows raised, lips pressed tightly together as you nodded, “oh…cool, alright.”

“Please, take a seat,” Mr Bang gestured to the space on the sofa next to his nephew, making you seat yourself awkwardly on the other side of the sofa, your body pressing against the armrest as if trying to create as much distance as you could between him and you.

“So, Chan, this is my secretary, Y/N,” Mr Bang gestured to you, “Y/N, this is my nephew, uh… Chris,” he spoke, the name sounding fairly familiar to you. Chris Bang? You sounded the name over in your head, not being able to connect the dots as to why it was so familiar at this point of time.

“So, sweetheart, because I’ve been planning on resigning for a while now, I thought I should let you know that I’m planning on handing my position over to Chris.”

Maybe this was what Seungmin was so busy with.

You nodded slowly, trying to understand the implications this decision meant for you, “will my contract be terminated, then?”

Chris glanced at you, as if searching your expression. He found you fairly younger than he’d expected, since his uncle had mentioned earlier that you’d already been working for him for quite some time, going onto 2 years already.

Of course, he didn’t want to underestimate you, but knowing the directors’ reputations regarding secretaries, he wasn’t sure if he could put a label on your abilities without seeing them for himself, first. And to him, he wasn’t quite understanding of why his uncle was so insistent that he needed a secretary, his past experiences with secretaries all being quite unimpressive.

“That… is unfortunately up to Chris, but ideally your contract will resume as per normal.”

You glanced back at the boy, who looked at you with an unreadable expression, something about his stare successfully unnerving you, the way he looked at you almost with a certain level of contempt.

“We’ll be having a company dinner tonight to welcome Chris to the team, it would do the both of you well to get acquainted with each other before the board meeting for ceo elections.”

You nodded slowly, still clutching the tray close to your chest as you wondered how old he was, the whole ordeal seeming as though it were something out of a movie: a young apathetic heir getting authority over a large corporation at such a young age. Was he even qualified for this position? The rest of the directors were nowhere near his age, well, appearance wise.

As if having read your mind, your boss spoke, “I’m sure you two will get along just fine, considering you two are so close in age.”

Your eyes narrowed, something in you not feeling comfortable with this arrangement. Dismissing the thought quickly, you shrugged, figuring it would be a change of scenery from being around the old directors all the time.

You watched as Chris shrugged.

“We’ll see.”

===

“Who?” Seungmin dabbed at his lips with his towel, picking up his glass of water to take a sip, making you frown, still trying to do your research on Chris Bang as far as your browser app would take you.

“Chris Bang. He’s gonna take over the company from President Bang.”

Your words seemed to have elicited a giggle from Seungmin, “doesn’t that make them both ‘President Bang’?”

Seungmin ignored your eye roll, continuing, “this was what I was referring to just now, you know. I thought you would’ve known who he was by now,” he told you, making you set your phone down on the table, open on his LinkedIn page that frankly wasn’t giving you much other than stating how very qualified he was for the job.

“You know, Bang Chan? Ring a bell? That guy that’s been switching departments for God-knows-how-long since last year. The one that got all of us donuts one time,” Seungmin gave you a ‘duh’ look, considerably unamused.

“Oh,” only then were you realising just who that was. You knew exactly who he was. You’d heard many rumours from the other secretaries on how he was impossibly good at anything he’d set his mind to, his work ethic and standard incomparable to anyone else in the company they’d ever seen.

Which was why all that switching departments start to make sense to you, since it could’ve been his way of making sure he learnt the ins-and-outs of every department by the time he took over. If that wasn’t just more evidence that he was definitely a crazy workaholic.

At the time, you’d made a passing comment on how you hoped you would never have to be his subordinate, after having heard stories on how intimidating he was whenever it came to work (especially work that was improperly done). Little did you know that your comment would come back to bite you in the ass so soon.

“Yeah, ‘oh,” Seungmin mimicked you, taking another bite out of his burger, “why d’you seem so…,” Seungmin made a pained groaning sound as he gestured to you for lack of a better word, “about it, anyway? Shouldn’t you be happy? He’s super nice!”

You scrunched your nose up, locking your phone in your dismay, not wanting to see his face on his stupid profile mocking you with all his stupid qualifications anyway.

“I don’t know, just kind of feels a little sudden. And I hate the feeling of not knowing if I’m gonna be fired since it’s not up to Mr Bang anymore.”

“Which one?” Seungmin joked, making you scoff, finding it just a little funny. Only a little.

Seungmin continued, “you’re just mad because him taking over means you actually have to do work.”

You shot him a glare, your silence being an acknowledgement that he wasn’t entirely wrong.

“And because I love Mr Bang! He was such a nice old man that checked in on me and gave me life advice. I’m not gonna get any life advice from someone that’s basically my age.”

Seungmin huffed in amusement, bringing his hand up to cup his mouth as if to divulge a secret, dropping his voice to a strained whisper, “transfer to the legal department.”

You sighed, “no, I still love my pay.”

“Then stop sulking! Chris is the nicest guy I’ve met, you’ll be fine. Just show up to the company dinner tonight and fluff him up a bit,” Seungmin shrugged, “it’ll be smooth sailing from then on.”

===

You figured you should’ve tried to do a lot better to fluff Chris up during the company dinner, instead of just going over to grill the meat for the directors, under the instruction of President Bang.

The action itself didn’t sit right with Chris, who didn’t understand why it was so imperative to the directors that you be the one to grill the meat until he realised just why they were keeping you there.

His own uncle was oblivious of course, simply obliging at any chance he got to show off how capable you were (even if it was just grilling meat), however Chris was quick to notice the way they stared at you as you reached between them to grill the meat, your face feeling hot with the steam from the grill.

“Y/N is very hardworking, graduated at the top of her class in college,” Mr Bang mentioned pointedly, making Chris’ eyebrows raise in surprise.

“Really? What did you study?” He spoke, knowing very well you were listening, the other directors not paying any attention to learning your background as they prompted you to pour them a drink. You didn’t miss the way his words were accented, remembering hearing from Seungmin that he’d spent a large chunk of his life in Australia.

Tipping the bottle, you’d answered (albeit a little preoccupied).

“Law,” you sat back on your heels, “minored in journalism.”

Chris frowned, not being able to understand why you would’ve chosen to work here as his uncle’s secretary of all things if you had pretty good prospects on your own.

“How’d you end up working for my uncle, then?” He voiced, your attention diverted when you’d been prompted by a director to take a shot of your own, clinking your glass obnoxiously and leaving you with no choice, an embarrassed flush on your face.

Taking the shot, you winced at the burn of the drink, glancing back at Chris, who was still looking at you curiously, wondering how you’d felt under the attention of the directors.

“Did it as a temp job at first,” you told him, “but I guess I realised halfway that I don’t mind it so much, and it paid me pretty well.”

Chris hummed, you ‘don’t mind’ this?

One of the directors let out a grunt of distaste, “you shouldn’t worry about that, doll. The job of a secretary is to look pretty, the pride of the company is in its secretaries,” he said, clearly having already had one-too-many drinks, his words leaving an awful aftertaste on your tongue, his hand going over to grasp your shoulder, his hand going down to your arm and squeezing.

“I always told her she’d do well as a housewife. That way she wouldn’t have to work and just mooch off her husband.”

You mustered a smile, setting the bottle of drink down and bowing to them, Chris having lost his appetite at the way you’d just let their comments slide.

“Maybe she prefers mooching off of the directors, instead,” Chris murmured, his sharp tongue getting the better of him, catching your attention as you were walking past him, making you stop in your tracks.

Chris’ uncle tut his tongue, nudging the boy harshly, making him raise his hands in surrender.

“What? Just speaking off of observation.”

You turned around, a surge of confidence arising in you (from where? You weren’t sure, maybe it was the fact that in your eyes he was still what was standing in between you and your possible severance pay), “excuse me?”

“I’m sorry, was there any untruth in what I said?” Chris turned, his gaze almost challenging you to speak out against the directors, not knowing that it was only serving to spur you on to speak out against him instead.

You scoffed, Chris standing up and awaiting your answer, a voice in you screaming at you not to be intimidated by him, especially with the way his head tilted down ever so slightly, his eyebrows raising expectantly.

“Didn’t know they would just let any rude petty kid run any company these days,” you narrowed your eyes at him, folding your arms and straightening your posture.

Seungmin, who was watching from his table with the legal team, grimaced, deeming Chris’ expression to be anything but friendly at the moment.

“I don’t know, maybe it’s just a little unbelievable to me that I’m supposed to be answering to someone who just got the company handed to him,” your words were coming out faster than you could help it. I mean, you were probably going to get fired anyway, right? Might as well go down with a fight.

“You don’t know anything about me,” Chris muttered, his voice firm, annoyance laced in his tone. Your words seemed to have triggered a spark in him, annoyed that you were doubting his abilities, blatantly disrespecting him even after knowing he could be your superior.

Mr Bang had tapped Chris’ calf harshly, “enough, don’t keep y/n from eating.”

Ignoring his words, Chris had stepped forward, staring you down as the tension had only thickened between the both of you.

“But then, what would you know, right? What was that again? Right. What are you here for other than to look pretty, hmm?” He tilted his head at you, flashing you a smile that was practically dripping with sarcasm.

You practically seethed with anger, your fists clenching as you unfolded your arms, your finger coming up to point at him, “you know what? I’d rather eat beansprouts for the rest of my life than work for you.” You scoffed.

Chris' amused lilt to his smile was only serving to annoy you even more, making you storm over to your table with the other secretaries, all of them casting you looks of concern or shock that you would have confronted him like that. Picking up your jacket, you’d scoffed, casting him one last look before you left, not expecting to see him again afterwards.

Well, that was the part you were very very wrong about.

That night, you’d called your boyfriend over to submit him to a seemingly never-ending rant about Chris, getting a text from Seungmin halfway.

“I mean, isn’t it good, then? That you can find another job?” Your boyfriend tried to reason, pressing a kiss to your neck as you straddled him where he was sitting leaning against your headboard.

“That’s not the point,” you insisted, pausing to read the text that Seungmin had sent, oblivious to his urgent kisses trailing up to your jaw.

seungmin (personal) 2:12am -consider yourself lucky. Spoke to Chan just now, make sure you show up to work tomorrow.-

“The point is that, he’s arrogant. What? Telling me that I’m only here to look pretty?—“

“In his defence, you insulted him first.”

You glared at your boyfriend, “Yeah, fine. But he provoked me first. And I don’t know, something about him just pisses me off,” you tried to reason, your boyfriend’s kisses beginning to distract you from your anger.

“You know what, maybe you should just give him a shot. Maybe he’s not as bad as he seems?”

And so you did as Seungmin had instructed, doing what you would’ve always done, grabbing your boss’ morning coffee before going to the office, ‘leisurely’ making your way upstairs as you tried to avoid any possible suit-clad blond-haired man.

Upon reaching your desk, you’d set your things under your desk, opening your scheduler and doing a quick run through of Mr Bang’s schedule for the day, grabbing the coffee and knocking on the glass doors before entering.

“Y/N! Just the person I wanted to see.” You nodded, walking over to place his coffee onto his table.

“You have the board meeting in half an hour, sir,” you informed him.

“Right, thank you. Would you be a dear and be there to serve the refreshments?”

You nodded, “yeah, sure.”

“If all goes as planned, Chan- I mean, Chris, will be taking over from next week onwards. So this week will be the last week i’m here.”

You frowned, “it’s a shame you’re retiring, you know,” your disappointment was evident in your tone.

Mr Bang simply waved you off, “it’s about time, I’m sure little Chris will do a good job.”

You’d kept your mouth shut, nodding as he stood up with his coffee cup in hand, looking at you with a smile, “shall we head down a little earlier, then?”

You nodded, opening the door for him to exit and following him silently to the venue of the board meeting. You were surprised, to say the least, when you’d reached only to find Chris there already, currently in an animated conversation with one of the directors, smiling like you’d never seen before, dimples showing on his cheeks.

Excusing yourself quickly, you’d gone to the pantry to prepare the drinks, your time here having made you familiar with the respective directors drink preferences. Carrying your tray carefully, you’d pushed the door open with your hip, seeing all the directors seated already, all seeming fairly comfortable around Chris, only serving to make the feeling of dread build in the pit of your stomach.

Making your way around the table, you’d distributed the drinks to the directors personally, refusing to make eye contact with Chris as you gave him his stupid cup of tea.

Once the meeting had started, you’d dismissed yourself outside the room, a part of you trying to listen in on the board meeting but not being able to hear much through the thick panelled glass. You were surprised when barely half an hour had passed and you’d heard applause in the room, peeping through the window to see Mr Bang give you a signal that you could come in.

Pushing the door open carefully, you saw the directors practically lining up to congratulate Chris, leaving promptly after looking all-too satisfied with the outcome of the meeting.

Mr Bang was speaking to Chris as the rest of the directors were leaving, “well, I guess this means my work here is as good as done. I’m sure your parents will be thrilled to hear the news,” he pat Chris on the back.

You were about to head out with Mr Bang, eager to avoid Chris when you’d heard him speak, “Y/N, I’d like to speak with you for a moment. Is that alright?” He cast a look at his uncle, who waved him off.

“Of course, she’s not my secretary anymore, remember?” You cast Mr Bang a look of distress, seeing him chuckle before giving you a thumbs up, exiting the room happily.

You winced, turning around so you were facing Chris, seeing him walk over to where you were, holding out a thick bound stack of papers for you to take.

“What’s this?”

"A contract. You can pass it to me by the end of the day once you've made your decision. I trust that you're familiar with reading contracts?" he asked as you stared at the papers, flipping and scanning through the print, realising that his terms were considerably more demanding than his uncle.

"You'll be able to find an additional attachment where I list what I would expect in a secretary. Feel free to consult me if you're unclear about any of them, though I don't think you would need to."

Your eyes lingered on the section of the contract, stating that you would be on a year of probation, but that the contract could be terminated whenever he felt appropriate.

"Whenever you deem appropriate?" you scoffed, looking up at him in disbelief.

He smiled, "very pretty wording, don't you think?"

"That's all I wanted to say. Remember, I'll expect your response by the end of the day."

You stared blankly as he shrugged his jacket off, draping it on one arm.

"Go ahead, what are you waiting for? You can go for your lunch break now," he urged, before his features pulled into a look of realisation, "oh, forgot. That is, unless you would rather eat...what was that again? Beansprouts?"

Your mouth opened, making as if to retort before you shut your mouth quickly, your eyes widening as he walked over to you, his gaze intense and serious, a contrast to the demeanour he wore while chatting up the director previously.

"I can handle myself, you know," you attempted to defend yourself, watching as Chris had shrugged.

"You have one whole year to prove that to me."

In that one year of working for Chris, you'd learnt a lot of things. Not only about your position as a secretary, but about Chris, ( not to mention, just exactly how spiteful he could be ).

1. Sleep was a luxury.

In your first week as his secretary, Chris had surprised you with the sheer rate of progress he was aiming, and moving at. It was as if all the rumours you'd heard before about his work ethic were a gross understatement of his tenacity.

You'd been having trouble adjusting to his deadlines, especially since he had entrusted more tasks to you. From surprise presentations, to drafting up proposals and reports, not to mention submitting research to him. To you, it felt as if you were doing half the job for him.

In short, you had never missed Mr Bang more than you did then.

Of course, Seungmin being your voice of reason, would shut your rants down, claiming it was ‘about time you do your job’, but of course, you loved to complain. Especially since it was someone you didn't have very fond feelings for that was assigning you the work. You grew increasingly irritated in the time you were adjusting to your sleep schedule, which Chris, and your boyfriend had definitely noticed.

Because of your changes in brain activity levels, you assumed (google could only diagnose so much), whenever sleep came to you, you welcomed it with open arms. Since waking up had become even more of a chore to run over to the coffee shop and squeeze yourself between the crowd of working adults and panda-eyed college students to get his very specific breakfast order.

You'd gone home from a birthday party of your boyfriend and your mutual friend, things having gotten a little...out of hand at your boyfriend's apartment since it'd been so long since you'd been able to spend time together, not with you always falling asleep during video calls or refusing them altogether for the sake of getting your work done. You'd missed him, and something about being apart made you miss his touch.

Jolting awake, (as if your body had been able to tell that your sleep was too smooth), you'd instantly sensed that something was wrong when you saw the light streaming in from behind the curtains, knowing for a fact that you usually woke up when it was still a little dark out.

Turning around, you'd fumbled for your phone on the bedside table, letting out a loud gasp when you saw the time. You were already a whole half-hour late.

"Shit!"

Your boyfriend startled, letting out a groan, his arm still lazily draped over your stomach.

"Did my alarm ring?" you asked, shoving his hand off of you and groaning, slipping out of bed quickly as you put on your clothes from the day before, not having any more time to go back to your apartment and get a fresh change of clothes.

"I don't know, I didn't hear anything," you heard your boyfriend mumble from where he lay.

Cursing, you'd ran over to his bathroom, washing your face quickly, a gasp leaving your mouth as you inspected the angry marks on your neck through the mirror.

"I hate you so much," you tugged up the collar of your turtleneck, successfully hiding the marks when you’d let your hair down.

Grabbing your things, you'd sprinted downstairs, hailing the first cab you could see and heading to your office.

Was he going to fire me? You were still on probation, so there was no reason he couldn't, right?

You'd fixed your hair anxiously as you jogged into the lobby, your shoes clacking noisily against the floor as you ran into the lift, even debating on whether taking the stairs would have been a better idea as the lift went up at an achingly slow pace.

Finally reaching your floor, you’d made your way to the meeting room, tossing your bags outside the door and entering with your laptop, notebook and pen, keeping your head down and avoiding Chris’ gaze as he was presenting to the room.

Taking your seat at the only empty seat left, (unfortunately, closer to the front of the room), you’d let out a small sigh. Expecting to hear Chris comment on your tardiness or whatnot, you opened your laptop, picking up on the minutes where you could.

Keeping your head down, you’d felt your colleague from the marketing team lean over to you as Chris had given everyone some time to analyse what he was showing on the screen, his lack of a comment making you even more anxious.

“Your hair’s a mess,” she whispered, making you wince, your hand going up to comb your hair into a ponytail in your attempt to look neater, hearing your colleague gasp.

“Dude! Put your hair back down, your neck,” she whispered, your eyes immediately darting to Chris’ direction, seeing that he was in fact staring at your jaw and neck as well, turning away quickly, the reddening of his ears giving him away.

Your hands let go of your hair as though you were burned, hearing your colleague snicker beside you, “I see someone had fun last night. Was that why you were late, too?”

You shushed her as Chris cleared his throat, embarrassment flooding your senses as you continued to take minutes, hoping that he wouldn’t be as mad at you if you showed that you were trying your best. Fat chance, but hey, you could dream.

Chris had started to assign things that he’d wanted the different departments to focus on for the project at hand, flashing a slide of deadlines that you watched people scramble to confirm with their existing information. You were secretly hoping someone would hold him back with a question so that he was too busy to confront you.

Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case today. The meeting ended promptly, Chris leaving you in relative silence as you packed up your things, your colleagues giving you a look of sympathy as you followed him silently out of the room back to your desk.

“In my office, please,” he murmured.

You fiddled with your fingers, already anticipating for him to fire you.

“Can you explain to me what happened this morning?”

Your eyes widened, not daring to meet his gaze as it flickered between anything in the room other than him, “I uh..I didn’t um…I didn’t hear my alarm ring and nobody woke me up so I overslept.”

Chris’ stare was unwavering, leaning against his desk and folding his arms, “so is it not your responsibility to make sure you show up to work on time?”

“No, yeah of course it is—“

“Then I would like to see you be accountable for your mistakes,” he continued, “I’m not saying you can’t make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes. But if your mistake is what puts an entire room of people at an inconvenience, I would prefer if you were a little more apologetic about it.”

You’d let a short period of silence fall between the both of you, “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, your gaze fixed firmly on his shoelace, “am I fired?”

Chris let out a small sigh, shaking his head. “No, but, you know, if you ever let anything like this happen again, I won’t hesitate to fire you,” his voice was stern, annoyed almost.

“And Y/N, if this,” you looked up at him watching him gesture to his neck with his hand before gesturing back to you, making you cower, tugging your collar further up your neck, “is what’s the issue here. I’d suggest you start prioritising.”

“Sorry. It won’t happen again, I swear,” you rushed to speak, bowing quickly before exiting the room as fast as you could, wanting to tear your hair out in both annoyance and embarrassment.

You’d jumped when you heard the sound of your desk speaker, Chris’ voice sounding through the phone, “Is there a problem, Y/N?”

Your eyes widened, rushing over to your desk phone, shaking your head as you pressed the button to reply, “no, no! Not at all. There was just a… a bug here.”

Chris huffed, bringing his hand up to hide his amusement, watching you scramble to regain your composure.

2. Chris was a workaholic

It was seeing (and experiencing) all the late nights in the office and the erratic pattern of his emails on weekends that drew you to this conclusion. His routine of sleeping late and then proceeding to get up at ungodly hours to either get work done or give up on the idea of a smooth sleep, since you were aware that he tended to have trouble sleeping. Not to mention the way it seemed to you as if the top priority in his life was his work, wanting to do his best to get the company to where he wanted it to be.

After a few months of working for him, it was very clear to you that your job entailed not only taking care of his work, but taking care of him.

You were going over to the legal team's office to collect the binders Chan had left to them, seemingly needing one of them now, thankful to have spotted Seungmin along the way as he was leaving his desk.

Shooting you a look of sympathy, he'd peeked his head out to glance at your area, noticing everyone else in your team had gone home already.

"Working late again?"

You were sure you looked horrible, with bags under your eyes and your complexion looking dull from lack of sleep, but well, you had to earn a living, right?

You shot him a pointed look, "you know the rules, can't go home until the boss goes home," you heaved a pained sigh.

"You know, I'm starting to wonder if he even has a social life," you thought out loud, earning an amused grunt from Seungmin.

"I could say the same about you." You ignored his comment.

"What d'you need?" he asked, though you were already making your way to his superior's desk, grabbing the file and leaving a post-it to say it was with Chris.

"Nothing, just this." You let out a small grunt at the weight of the binder, your wrists aching from all the filing you'd done that morning and afternoon (you never did notice until now how inefficient Chris' uncle's document organization system was).

"All the best," he gave you a thumbs up, earning a pitiful pout from you before you'd headed back to Chris' office.

Knocking on his door, you'd heard him murmur for you to come in, pushing the heavy doors open with your shoulder as you shoved your way through the doors, placing the binder onto the coffee table where he'd had his documents and laptop laid out haphazardly.

Chan's hair was a mess, likely from running his hands through it as he worked, his tie discarded and the top few buttons of his shirt undone, looking at you with tired eyes.

He was about to ask you for some water, but you'd seemed to have read his mind, walking over to the table near his desk and pouring him a glass of warm water from the flask.

"I'm almost done with the filing, but I'll be outside so you can let me know if you need anything."

You'd felt your pocket buzz with a notification, momentarily taking your attention away from Chris.

Chris glanced at the files before looking back at you in thought, stopping you before you could exit the room, "actually, can you help me to write a report on this, I'll need this by tomorrow afternoon."

Knowing Chris' deadlines, that meant he would've needed it by tomorrow morning, which left you no choice other than to start working on it now.

Chris picked up a small file with a post-it note stuck onto the file, handing it to you.

"The points are all there. I would've done it myself but by the looks of it this is gonna take a while more than I expected," he sighed, his hands on his hips as he stared at the pile of papers in front of him in disdain.

Chris never would've admitted that he'd started preparing the post-it notes for you in case he wasn't able to complete his work in time, since he usually opted to write from his head, but he knew you worked better with structure. He'd only realised after starting to do it that it helped him draft the write-ups more concisely, so of course, the reason was always 'for his own convenience', never creating opportunities for you to think he actually tried accommodating to you.

"This current arrangement is very un-environmentally friendly," you mumbled, staring at the papers as well.

"I'll go get this done now," you gave him a nod, exiting his office as you pulled your phone from your pocket, the text from your boyfriend practically glaring at you, asking if you were able to meet that night.

10:47pm - sorry, working late :( gotta work on a report due tomorrow morning -

Biting back your disappointment at having to bail on your boyfriend again, you'd nodded resolutely, pulling up your delivery app to order food for Chris before you started on the report lest he start to get irritable because he was hungry.

And lastly, the point you couldn't quite seem to wrap your head around, was that

3. He was very nice, just...not so much to you.

After the oversleeping incident from before, it was safe to say you'd never let a similar mistake repeat itself. You were constantly making sure you were alert and responsive to anything Chris could possibly throw to you (and he knew this too).

The only downside Chris saw to this, was that it seemed as though your attitude towards the directors hadn't changed. Still swallowing their disgusting comments and serving them with a smile, even if they were looking everywhere but your face. It irked Chris. And it irked him even more that the only one you seemed to serve without a smile, was him.

Unbeknownst to him, you'd shared the same sentiments.

"Do you ever look at someone and wonder what is going on in their head?" you spoke.

Seungmin snorted, "wait, are you talking about the meme or..." your lack of a response made Seungmin follow your gaze (or glare) to where Chris was seated at the other end of the table, giggling and smiling as he spoke with the other secretaries.

"Ah," Seungmin nodded, understanding now why your spoon hadn't moved an inch from your bowl, your grip around it almost death-like.

"What are you so mad about? He's not doing anything?"

You shot Seungmin a pointed look, your voice lowering to a murmur, "can't you see it? With them he's all rainbows and unicorn shit but with me it's like just smiling would kill him."

You heard the secretaries letting out giggles and impressed sounds at something Chris had just said, the sound itself enough to make you annoyed.

Seungmin's eyebrows furrowed, looking at you in scepticism, "you know the secretaries are only being nice because they're interns, right? I heard from one of them that they're actually really scared of him."

Seungmin brought his chopsticks to his mouth, taking a piece of food from your bowl that he knew you weren't going to eat anyway, "especially after they saw how he spoke to you during the meeting the other day,"

You scoffed, "good to know that I was the warning."

Your phone buzzed, signalling a text from your boyfriend. Strangely enough, it'd been a while since you'd texted him, since you were busy with work and he was busy with school.

Ignoring it initially, too distracted by Chris, it wasn't long before you saw his caller ID show up on the screen, getting Seungmin's attention.

"I think you should answer that," he gestured, making you glance around the table in your hesitance, not knowing if it would be rude to just exit halfway.

Picking up the phone-call, you'd turned your head, lowering your volume to a murmur, "hello?"

"Hey, can we talk? I really need to tell you something."

You winced, "is it urgent? I'm at a team dinner right now."

Your boyfriend sighed, scoffing, "it really is always work with you, huh."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

You glanced at the table, standing up to excuse yourself. Chris's expression read confusion, eavesdropping on a secretary asking what happened, Seungmin replying that it was your boyfriend calling.

You'd made your way outside the restaurant, Chris glancing in your direction and spotting you walk past the restaurant's windows, a part of him shaking off whatever curiosity that lingered in him as he focused on his conversation. After all, you did tell him you could handle yourself, right?

Where you were, you'd moved to a quieter spot outside the restaurant, "okay, I can talk now. What's up?"

You kicked at the ground absently as you awaited his reply.

"Look, are you free to meet tonight? There's something I need to tell you."

"Uh..." you glanced into the restaurant, making eye contact with Chris before looking away, "I've got to work later, though. I need to get some research done for this review that i'm behind on, I don't wanna meet you if i'm just gonna end up on my computer while you're there, you know?"

Your boyfriend nodded, "you know, that's kind of what i wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh," a feeling of dread was building in your stomach, recognising your boyfriend's tone to be the one he used whenever he was talking about something serious.

The first time you heard it was when you witnessed him on a work phone-call, the second being how he spoke to your parents the first time they'd met, but this time, you had a feeling you knew what was coming.

"Let's break up."

You fell silent, not knowing how to respond to his words.

"Is it, um.... is it because of my work?" You asked, a part of you not being able to come to terms with the fact that it could have been your fault, "because you know I can't do anything about that."

Your boyfriend sighed, "I know. I'm just talking about how you've been so emotionally invested in your work you don't even have the energy to maintain this relationship."

You frowned, "what, what do you want me to do, quit my job? Will that be better for you?"

"Look, i've been seeing someone," he began. Your heart sank.

"And i'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason. But... it was only when I started seeing her that I realised... things between us just weren't the same as before."

Your heart felt heavy, a part of you knowing that he was making it a lot easier to be mad at him by confessing what he did, but another part of you couldn't help but prompt him further.

"When did it start?"

"That doesn't matter-"

You sighed, taking your lower lip between your teeth, "it's fine, I just wanna know."

"Fine, it was about a month in from you working for your new boss."

You nodded slowly, still trying to process his words. You weren't quite sure what came over you when you saw Chris exiting the restaurant, turning to face your direction and spotting you in the alley. But it was as if you were so mad at yourself, mad at him, mad at your boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend now), that you'd ended the call, shoving your phone into the pocket of your blazer before heading over to where Chris was.

"You guys aren't going home?" you heard one of the secretaries ask as you and Chris had approached his car, his driver already sitting in the car and waiting.

Chris shook his head with a smile, "nope, we're heading back to the office."

You mustered a smile as you bid them goodbye, you guessed this was probably the best time to bury yourself in your work as a poor coping mechanism after a breakup, as far as movie breakups went.

The car-ride was silent, despite the pinging of your phone, making you switch it to silent mode halfway, earning a curious look from Chris, though he didn't make to ask you about it.

Upon reaching the office, the both of you had gone back into your clockwork routine, as you sat in his office working on your computer and scribbling down on your notebook the important details you wanted him to check. Chris found that your background in law and journalism made it a lot easier whenever it came to reading and condensing information, which had only allowed him to trust you more when it came to getting tasks like that done, saving him precious time he could spend working on other things.

The buzzing of your phone was growing more frequent, though it was as if you were oblivious to it now as you typed away at your computer.

"Right, can you help to postpone tomorrow afternoon's meeting, and help me to make a reservation at the steak place, 2 people."

You hadn't made to move, pulling your phone out but having gotten distracted at the multitude of missed calls and texts just because your boyfriend wanted to 'make sure you were okay'. Please.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" you heard Chris call, snapping you out of your daze as his gaze searched your expression, trying to read your emotions.

"Sorry, can you repeat that? I didn't hear you."

Chris sighed, his annoyance at your phone that had lit up with a call again getting the better of him, "you know I don't ask you to stay later just for you to waste my time, you know."

Your gaze hardened. There it was, the side of Chris that you had the 'privilege' of being at the brunt of, nowhere near the smiley giggly Chris you witnessed at the restaurant just now.

"I said I was sorry. What do you want me to do?"

Chris huffed, his gaze darting to your phone as he spoke, "reservation for 2 people tomorrow afternoon, the steak place my mom likes. Postpone tomorrow afternoon's appointment with Director Lee." He told you slowly, his tone as if speaking to a young child, which only served to piss you off even more.

"Who's calling you?" he asked.

You shook your head in dismissal, "my...uh..." you weren't sure how to respond, watching dumbly as he made his way to where you were, lifting your phone to read the contact before letting out a huff.

"Okay, well you can tell your boyfriend that if you're gonna be this distracted at work, you can kiss your night goodbye."

You inhaled deeply, absolutely upset but knowing there wasn't much you could do about it. You loved your job, even though you hated to admit it. Ever since Chris came in, you were getting a lot more work experience and exposure, especially with how he would make it mandatory for you to attend certain language courses that would help him whenever you accompanied him on networking events or business galas.

And in that moment, you couldn't help but think back to what he'd said the first time he'd scolded you when he'd told you to figure out your priorities. Maybe your boyfriend called you at the right time, maybe you just weren't ready to focus on things other than your career at this point of time.

Turning your phone off, you'd made sure Chris saw that it was off, raising your hands up in surrender, "done. I'll book your stupid reservation now." You stalked out before Chris could chime in with a 'watch your tone'.

===

You'd been working for Chris for what was coming to 2 years now. The company had been reaping the results of their hard work for a while now, and you were thankful that even though you weren't as busy as before, you still managed to keep your job. Other than the fact that Chris’ hair was now back to dark brown, not much else had changed.

Although, one tiny change you were starting to wish for was that Chris would at least try to make things a little more bearable for you.

You were currently at a meeting with the directors where Chris was presenting the overview of the company's performance in the past month. You would have to say you were pretty satisfied with the work you'd both done on that, working a lot more efficiently now compared to when you'd first started out.

Your silent admiration of the presentation was interrupted when one of the directors summoned you over to ask for a cup of coffee.

Doing as you were told ( much to Chris' dismay ), you'd gone and come back in record time with his hot cup of coffee, bending down and making your way to where the director sat, not wanting to prevent any of them from seeing what Chris was presenting.

While he was presenting, it didn't take Chris very long to realise why the director had kept asking you for things, your position from where you were squatting next to him making it all-too-easy for him to ogle at you without you noticing.

For some reason, this seemed to have gotten on Chris' nerves, especially because that director's secretary was simply minding her own business at the back of the room.

Did Chris think what you were wearing that day was nice? He'd say he didn't but of course he did. But unlike the director, he preferred not to be so blatant about it, especially because you were always so rude towards him.

You'd tensed momentarily when the director had grabbed your arm, about to get up when you heard Chris' voice get louder.

"Y/N, I'd appreciate if you would stop distracting the directors and go back to your seat."

(Later on, Seungmin would be struggling to hold back his laughter in the printing room when Chan told him to tell you to button up your blouse a little more.

“Why can’t you just tell her yourself?”

Chan scoffed, “knowing her, she’s just gonna think I was looking at her… chest or something.”

Seungmin narrowed his eyes at Chan teasingly, “well, were you?”

Chan waved him off with a groan, “just tell her, okay? The directors are having a field day with her looking like that.”)

You'd almost scoffed at the way the director had immediately let go of you, and you straightened up quickly, heading back to sit with the other secretaries.

"That was harsh," you heard one of the secretaries murmur to you, making you shrug.

"Whatever, not like I expected more from him anyway."

(You did, you totally did. You'd kill for him to be less grating with his words).

After the meeting, you'd felt a phone ring in your bag, pulling it out to see that Chris' mom was calling, obviously not having been able to reach him. Making your way to where he was, you'd interrupted his packing of his things.

"Your mom is calling you," you'd told him out of habit, holding his phone out for him to take, jumping slightly when you'd heard one of the directors let out a dismayed grunt.

"Is that any way to talk to your boss?"

Your eyes widened, Chris seeming to be enjoying the situation play out before him as you regained your composure, looking back at Chris with a sickly sweet smile on your face. In front of the directors, you couldn't act up like how you usually did when it was just the both of you, so you had no choice but to be all smiles

"President Bang, your mother is calling you," you told him, and if you were annoyed, you didn't show it, having years of practice from dealing with the directors.

"uh-huh," Chris smirked, taking the phone from your hands and answering it as he gestured for you to help him gather his papers.

"No, mom. I’ve told you already, i’m really fine with how things are now. I'm not going on another one."

Not that you cared, but you had to admit you were kind of curious as to what he was so insistently refusing.

"Yes, okay, bye," he hung up, handing the phone back to you.

You'd tried your best to suppress your curiosity, seeing as he was about to be late for his next meeting with one of his friends if he hadn't hurried.

Fixing your blouse, you'd carried your laptop in your arm as you walked with him back to his office, with you going into the lift first, Chris having chosen the wrong time to step in as a girl you recognised as one of the interns had done so too, the number of people squeezing into the lift causing her to jerk her arm, her coffee landing unceremoniously on Chris’ tie and shirt.

Chris let out a hiss at the temperature of the liquid, eliciting a long string of apologies from the girl. You knew that if it was you that had spilled the coffee, he would be going on and on about carelessness now, but the intern obviously wasn’t you, and so you watched in envy as Chris had given her a smile, dismissing her apologies quickly.

“It’s fine, really. I just hope you still have some coffee left to drink,” he laughed.

Not only was he not upset, but he was joking with her too?

You scoffed, rolling your shoulders back as you’d watched the numbers on the elevator rise till it reached your floor, the girl looking scared for her life when you’d cast her a look, bowing to you apologetically.

“Where did you keep the spare change of clothes?” Chris asked as he’d begun loosening his tie.

You hadn’t responded as he let you walk before him into his office, making your way over to one of the cupboards at the side of the room and opening it, pulling out a hanger with a nicely ironed set of work clothes.

“You can go and get changed, I’ll wait here,” you murmured, Chris walking over to where you were and giving you his stained tie.

God, you hoped his dry-cleaning run wouldn’t make you late for your lunch appointment.

Looking at his tie, you brought it up closer to your face to inspect the material, it was a well-made tie, you had to say. Not too skinny, the material feeling almost luxurious in your hold, tempting you to put it on in your boredom.

Hanging it round your neck, you mustered your best ‘Chris accent’.

“You should be accountable for your mistakes! Don’t you know how many people you’re inconveniencing? Now I have a tie that reeks of coffee, look,” you held up the tie with a gasp, “and my secretary’s gonna be late for her lunch meeting!” You pointed accusatorially at the small black penholder that sat on his desk.

“Yeah! Do you know how much you’re inconveniencing me? I don’t ask you to show up to work to waste my time—“

You’d stopped in your tracks when you heard Chris clearing his throat, grimacing as you tried to regain your composure, taking off the tie as quickly as you could, holding it tightly in your palm as you turned to face him.

“Having fun?”

“No,” you shot back quickly, not even wanting to ask how long he’d been standing there.

Walking over to you, he’d handed you his stained shirt, his expression like that of a parent that had caught their kid doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing.

“You know, sometimes I wish you’d talk back to the directors like how you talk back to me.”

Your eyes widened, confused at his sudden comment, but not having the time to respond as Chris continued.

“Get these dry-cleaned over lunch. The stain’ll be harder to get out the longer you wait.”

You huffed, already walking away from him, “well, when you say it like that I’d might as well go do it now.”

You'd been keeping yourself busy with replying emails when you heard the elevator ding, the sound of footsteps getting louder before you saw a considerably young, suit-clad man walking towards your desk.

"I'm here to see Chris? I'm Director Kang," he told you, though you didn't need him to introduce himself, knowing very well who he was.

"He's in there," you held a finger up to signal him to wait as you picked up your desk telephone, pressing a button to page Chris.

"Director Kang's here to see you."

"Okay, send him in."

Chris closed the work he was doing on his desktop, making his way over to the leather couches as he saw his friend enter the room.

"Yo, when were you planning on telling me about your hot secretary?"

Chris' eyebrows raised, "didn't think that was something worth mentioning."

"Well, why not?" his friend frowned, his features pulling into one of shock, "wait, don't tell me... you guys are dating?"

Chris rolled his eyes, "no, we're not. And please, for both our sakes, don't try anything funny with her."

The director was about to respond, interrupted by your knocking on the door, the door opening slightly so you could enter.

"Can I get you anything? Like a drink? Coffee? Tea?" you asked.

The director simply looked at you curiously, sitting with his ankle resting on his other knee, "only if you'd care to join me."

Chris glared at his friend, shutting him up quickly before he could say anything more, "coffee for him, I don't want a drink."

You nodded, exiting quickly.

"What did you come to tell me about?"

"Must I have a reason to come and visit my beloved friend?"

Chris rolled his eyes, "my time is precious."

This made the director scoff, "is that your excuse now? Anyway, I came to ask if you were going for Brian's wedding next weekend."

"Oh, yeah, right. He asked me about it last night and I said I would go, you?"

Director Kang rolled his eyes, "can't, I've got a business trip that weekend."

Chris hummed in acknowledgement, "that reminds me. I should get a gift for them soon. Who'd he say he was marrying again?"

"This girl he met at work, she's nice. But, you know, not my type."

As if that wasn't enough, Director Kang continued, "anyway, are you bringing a date?"

He was interrupted once again by the sound of your knocking, the door opening as you made your way over to them, bending to place the cup of coffee down onto the table, making Director Kang gesture to you with his head, mouthing 'you should bring her'.

Waving him off, Chris was eager to get Director Kang’s attention away from you, almost as if wanting to protect you from getting swayed by him, knowing the outcome was never too bright.

"Y/N, you can go for an early lunch break today."

Your eyebrows raised, the prospect seeming almost too good to be true. Since when was he so nice?

"Huh? But I still have some stuff to hand the legal team..." you sounded unsure, though you did consider this to be luck since you were supposed to meet one of your friends from college for lunch today.

Chris gave you a stern look, waving you off, making you raise your hands in surrender.

“Okay, okay, I’ll go.”

On your way out, you’d texted your friend that you were gonna be able to meet earlier, pleasantly surprised when she’d told you she was already in the area and that she was able to head over now.

You’d managed to drop off Chris’ clothes for dry-cleaning before heading to the restaurant, spotting your friend already seated at your table.

“Hey! Wow, you look great!” She told you, giving you a hug in greeting.

“Feel a lot better compared to last year,” you joked, making her frown.

“Your boss still giving you trouble?”

Shrugging, you’d taken a seat, “nothing out of the ordinary. Seems like it’s part of his daily routine to annoy me.”

She laughed, “I ordered our food already, if you don’t mind.”

Shaking your head, you waved in dismissal, “no, yeah, I don’t mind. Thanks. Anyway, you look pretty good yourself, how’ve you been?”

You didn’t miss the way she’d leaned closer to you, tucking her hair behind her ear in a pointed gesture, drawing your attention to the large gemstone on her ring.

Your eyes widened, “no way.”

She nodded, “I wanted to tell you sooner but you were so busy! I was glad enough I managed to squeeze in this lunch with you,” she told you, making you pout.

“When’s the wedding?” You asked.

“Next week. We’re going to have it in this beautiful church out of town, really really nice place,” she told you, “really romantic, too,” she added as an afterthought.

You let out a deep sigh, “I hope you’re not going where I think you’re going with this.”

She gave you a scandalised look, pausing as the waiter had come to deliver your food, “first of all, Brian has a lot of good-looking friends!”

You gave her a look, prompting her to continue, “well, not that I’ve seen all of them but he tells me that a lot of them are single! And you know who else is single…” she pointed her finger towards you with an overly excited glint to her grin.

“We’ve been through this a million times, Eujin. I’ve tried but it’s really hard to find a guy that’s willing to cope with… you know, my kind of schedule,” you gave her a tired (wistful) sigh, “and with my schedule, I doubt I have the time, not to mention the energy to date.”

Eujin’s lips twisted into a frown, “but it’s been so long! Don’t you want to get back in the dating scene?”

You scoffed, cutting into your food harshly before taking a bite.

“Of course I do. But the last time I went on a date the guy basically shat on me for being a workaholic,” you huffed, “I mean, my boss’ working hours means my working hours, shouldn’t they just shit on him instead? Why is it my fault that he’s basically destroyed what I have left of a social life.”

Eujin shot you a look of sympathy, “I’d say I pitied you, but it’s not like you can’t get a job anywhere else, you know?”

You’d kept your mouth shut at that, “I know… it just… I can’t just leave when I’ve already gotten so used to how things work here.”

Of course that was one reason, but you would never admit that there was a nagging inside of you that didn't trust Chris to look after himself if you weren't here, remembering how he'd overworked himself during a crucial period after he took over the company, and you'd found him passed out on his desk when you showed up to work that day.

You'd sort of made a silent promise that as much as you didn't like him, you still cared for him in a way. In the way a secretary would care for her boss, totally.

You decided to change the topic, not wishing to talk about your hopeless love life at the moment.

“What’s the program gonna be like?”

Eujin’s eyes lit up, setting her cutlery down as she clasped her hands together, “Okay, so. The plan is for it to be a sort of weekend-long thing,” she told you, holding her finger up.

“Firstly, on Thursday night we’ll have a little girls night type thing, and then Friday is the rehearsal dinner, Saturday will kind of be a little rest day and then Sunday is the actual wedding,” she said, now holding up four fingers to you.

Your head was spinning at the (rather enticing) thought of taking basically 4 days off of work, before the dread settled in that you had to ask Chris for permission to take those days off.

“I hope my boss will let me take time off…” you murmured, already rehearsing in your head possible ways on how you could tell him.

Eujin gave you a resolute look, “you can do it! If he says no just let me know, I’ll go over to your fancy office and fight whoever he is myself.”

===

“How many days?”

Chris had asked at your desk as he prepared to leave to meet his mom for lunch since she’d happened to be in the business district.

You fiddled with your pen anxiously, “uh..4 days? Technically 3 and a half. But 2 of those are weekends I just need you to make sure you just don’t bother me on that weekend it’s a really important weekend.”

Chris narrowed his eyes at you, unsure why you were so insistent on him leaving that weekend alone, nodding slowly.

Whatever, he figured, she’s just lucky I’m busy that weekend too.

“Okay.”

“I swear I’ll—wait, you’re okay with it?”

Chris shrugged, straightening his tie, “yeah. I’ve got something on that weekend too.”

You let out a surprised hum, “oh… cool. Thanks…Mr Bang,” you added as a force of habit, not wanting to risk getting scolded for ‘insubordination’ again just because you didn’t call him by his honorific.

Chris huffed, leaving before you could see his ears reddening.

Over lunch, Chris’ mom had been inspecting him carefully as he ate, as if the answer to her worries lay in every piece of sushi he ate.

“Is there something you’re not telling me? Are you… gay?” She asked, continuing, “because if you are you know you can just tell me, instead of constantly upsetting the girls I try to set you up with.”

Chris gave her a unamused look, “mom, I’ve told you a thousand times. I would really love to date, but it’s hard to find someone with a similar work ethic as myself, that can keep up with my… lifestyle and who really understands my needs, you know?”

This made Chris’ mom perk up, “that’s it! Why don’t you just date your secretary!”

Chris almost choked on his sushi, fumbling to grab his glass of water to calm himself down and compose himself.

“What,” he spoke between coughs, “gave you that idea?”

His mom looked at him in disbelief, “whatever you just said, you were basically describing her, no? And plus, we’ve heard a lot of wonderful things about her from your uncle.”

Chris couldn’t help but entertain the possibility in his head. It was true, you did work at a very efficient pace with him, not to mention how spending almost everyday in such close contact with him made you understand his own needs and wants even better than he did on occasions. Chris shook his head, that wasn’t possible, right? You looked as though you’d absolutely hated him half the time, he’d be expecting too much from you if he’d expected you to fall for him.

Chris shook his head, dismissing the thought from both him and his mom’s minds quickly, “no, mom. I’m fine with how things are between us right now.”

Chris had let you leave the office earlier on Thursday, (much to your surprise) allowing you to have ample time to pack your bags and get a cab to the destination, Eujin having taken the liberty and helped you book your hotel beforehand.

Upon reaching, you’d texted Eujin saying you’d reached.

eujin 6:54pm -yay!! Lets just chill in one of our rooms, we can discuss it in the chatgroup!!-

Trust her to be excitable even about the smallest things.

You saw an incoming text from Seungmin.

seungmin (personal) 6:54pm -what where r u I went over to find u but both u and Chris weren’t here-

6:55pm -im at a friends wedding, took the weekend off-

seungmin (personal) 6:55pm -wow finally using your employee perks nvm then have fun-

You’d checked in, marvelling at the cozy yet elegant look of the hotel as you made your way through the lobby, letting the lift take you up to your hotel room floor.

Changing into more comfortable clothes, you’d seen the group chat saying to gather in Eujin’s room, with mentions of ordering pizza. Considering this was your first weekend away from work in a very, long while, you were determined to make the most of it, heading over to Eujin’s room.

You hadn’t expected to be welcomed as warmly as you were, hearing comments of ‘we were so happy you could make it!’ Or ‘thank God you could take time off!’, sharing the same sentiments as them as you’d let Eujin pull you onto the bed, the softness of the sheets and pillows instantly making a content sigh leave you.

“I ordered room service,” Eujin sing-songed, gesturing to the Champagne bottles and whatnot on the tray next to the bed.

“I’ll have one,” you raised your hand, earning a laugh from one of your friends.

“Tired from work?”

You let out a loud groan, nodding. This made Eujin nod gravely, “I swear, if I ever see your boss in real life, I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind.”

You scoffed, “you don’t even know what he looks like.” You’d gratefully accepted the glass of champagne that was handed to you. "and plus, he's not that bad, other than the fact that he finds joy in pissing me off. He just works too hard in my opinion."

You’d spent your time enjoying the once chance you could relax to your heart’s content without feeling dread at having to wake up early the following day, enjoying yourself as you leant against the headboard of the bed, listening to stories about how they’ve been and how all of them were either planning on getting engaged soon, were in long-term relationships or already married.

“You guys make me wanna get married too,” you pouted, earning bouts of laughter from them.

“You’d have to actually date to do that, you know,” they told you pointedly, making you sigh.

“You’re basically married to your job, already,” your friend chimed in, making you laugh.

“Seems like that, doesn’t it? I was super shocked he’d let me have the weekend off, usually he’d be swarming me with emails about now.”

“I’m excited to see Brian’s friends tomorrow, maybe there’ll be someone that catches your eye,” Eujin told you, making you shrug.

“Just out of curiosity, though, what are you looking for in a guy? You know, we could help you keep an eye out too.”

You hummed, shrugging.

“I’ve never really thought of a specific…criteria I guess. I guess I’d just like someone that’s kind, looks out for me, doesn't underestimate me...sort of has the same lifestyle as me? Since it’s honestly been really hard to find someone that doesn’t hate my schedule.”

You'd almost scoffed at the way your brain had refused to picture anyone else other than Chris while you thought about it, figuring it was probably because he was the only guy you were in constant contact with.

Eujin looked at you resolutely, “we’ll do our best,” she held up a fist in an action to cheer you on.

You shrugged, You figured maybe going into this with an open mind would do you some good.

You changed the topic, directing the focus back to Eujin, “whatever, let’s just have fun, it’s your big day soon, let’s just celebrate!”

===

At the rehearsal dinner, you had yet to arrive, since you’d spent a little longer getting ready, choosing to use your opportunity to dress up a little more, not having the luxury to do so during your usual work days.

You had texted Eujin that you were on the way with some of the other bridesmaids, her attention directed elsewhere when her fiancé had called her over.

“Hey, wanted you to meet some of my friends from law school.”

While being introduced, Eujin couldn’t help but wonder if they were single, remembering your mentioned criteria from the night before.

“Oh, so are you guys all working in the law sector now?”

Her husband shook his head, “All of them, except Chan here. He’s the ceo of Bang Mobile Media company.”

Eujin’s eyes widened, glancing at the brown-haired boy cautiously, as if sizing him up. Y/N worked in a mobile company too, right? If she was remembering this correctly. Was it mobile or broadcasting?

“Oh, wow. That’s impressive.”

Eujin had let them introduce themselves more, not being able to help but think that Chan was nice, friendly, and rich on top of that?

“I don’t get it, how are you single? You’re basically the whole package!” She wondered out loud, making Chan flush, giggling as he shook his head.

Her husband seemed to have begged to differ, “Chan is incorrigible when it comes to his love life.”

Eujin raised her eyebrows in surprise, not having expected someone so good-looking to have such a fate, “really? Is there a reason behind that?”

“He’d never dated much, even back when he was in Australia. He was always super dedicated to his work,” this had served to make Eujin even more positive about this guy’s prospects as a suitor for you.

“Oh my god, you’re exactly like one of my friends, I should totally introduce her to you when she comes later.”

“Hey, cut him some slack,” one of his friends had spoken up, “Chan can’t cheat on his job.”

Eujin felt her phone vibrate signalling a notification, pulling it out to see that you’d arrived already, excusing herself and practically running over to the entrance of the venue. “Chan, you stay put, I have just the perfect girl to introduce you to!”

“Y/N! You have to come quick, I think I found the perfect guy for you.”

Your eyes widened, clutching onto the chain of your bag as you followed her into the room.

“He’s really nice, and friendly, and he’s good-looking! Really cute dimples! And on top of that he’s loaded. I’m so excited for you to meet him.”

Letting her drag you along, you’d distracted yourself with the atmosphere of the area, wondering just how much it would cost to book a venue like this, tugging down your dress that was hiking up from practically running after Eujin.

“Hey, I have someone I’d like you to meet. Chan, this is Y/N,” Eujin chirped, the names causing the both of your heads to shoot up, locking eyes with each other as a feeling of doom built in the pit of your stomach.

Your eyes widened in panic, glancing down at your attire, back to him, who was dressed in a flowy black shirt that you were sure cost more than your one week’s pay, the top few buttons of his shirt undone to reveal a simple silver necklace, and fitted black pants, your gaze landing on the small silver rings on his ears, almost feeling as though you were looking at a different person.

Chris thought so too, seeming to have the same panic as you as he tried not to let his gaze linger too long on your dress, nodding his head at you in greeting, “nice to uh…meet you.”

His ears had felt hot as you nodded back at him, almost startling when Eujin had cheered, leaning over to whisper to you, “I’ll make sure you guys get to sit next to each other.”

You were about to protest when she’d left, leaving you standing at the bar with Chris.

“So, Y/N, how do you know the bride to be?”

You gulped, wanting to slap yourself for how your gaze had kept returning to Chris, unable to shake the feeling of needing to be in work-mode now with his presence before you.

“Oh, uh, we were friends since college,” you answered simply.

“Cool, did you guys have the same major?” Chris had to stop himself from glaring at his friend, a strange feeling inside of him as he recognised the look on his friend’s face and his posture to be that which he used whenever he was interested in a girl.

You shook your head, “uh, not quite. I majored in law but she majored in journalism.” You tried to respond as calmly as you could, not being able to shake Chris’ gaze off of you, feeling as though at any moment he was going to call you out for something you weren’t even aware of.

You saw the guy practically light up at the mention of law.

“Woah, that’s really coincidental. All of us met in law school,” he gestured to the group of them, making you laugh nervously.

“Where are you guys um… dates?” You asked, immediately regretting the question when you saw the way Chris was practically glaring at you.

You didn’t understand why he was glaring at you, wasn’t it a valid question?

“We didn’t bring dates, unfortunately. Did you?”

You shook your head, making Chris snort. “Does it look like she brought a date? She literally came in alone.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, unsure where his spitefulness was coming from, especially when his friend was just trying to make conversation with you.

You scoffed, folding your arms. “Yeah, pity. Maybe I’d have time to date if I wasn’t always so busy running around doing shit for my boss,” you cast a pointed glance at him, bringing a hand up to nonchalantly run it through your hair.

Chris smirked, two could play at this game.

“Same here, I’d probably have the time to date too if my secretary wasn’t always causing trouble.”

“Your secretary?” His friend spoke up, “I heard from someone she was pretty cute, and nice too.”

You’d almost wanted to agree, realising that if you did it would put you in a pretty compromising position, simply acting surprised.

“If I had a secretary like that, I’d just date her,” one of his friends had spoken up, making your eyes widen, wracking your brain for possible responses.

“Who knows, are you a workaholic?” You asked pointedly, earning amused grunts and laughs from his friends, “ah… it’d be too bad if I was your secretary, then. I absolutely can’t stand dating workaholics.”

Chris narrowed his eyes at you, the both of you knowing you were just as bad at him, replying calmly, “oh, you can’t stand dating workaholics? Me neither.”

You were thankful that Eujin had given you a small break when she'd invited everyone to take their seats so dinner could be served, wincing when you'd ended up sitting next to Chris out of habit, momentarily forgetting that you weren't attending a networking session.

You'd hoped and prayed that you wouldn't slip up more than you already did. As much as you'd wanted to spite him, he was still your boss, and you knew he'd give you an earful for even the slightest hint of disrespect ( which you were sure you'd surpassed already ).

Focusing on the gorgeous food they'd served you, you saw the waiter pick up the bottle of wine, pouring it for you.

Having been oblivious, the waiter was about to pour a glass for Chris as well, making your secretary-instincts kick in, your arm darting across Chris to stop the waiter in time.

"No, Mr Bang, you shouldn't drink that."

Chris would have looked fairly amused if he wasn't stressed out by your proximity, with you practically leaning over him to speak to the waiter.

You'd cursed internally, wincing at the way Chan's friend had looked at you, tilting his head in confusion.

"Mr Bang? And how do you know his alcohol preference?"

Chris let out a nervous giggle as you straightened up, "uh...well um like...you know it's a really funny story actually... we're um..."

Not being able to bear his awkward fumbling any longer, you'd butt in, "We work in the same company. Yeah."

You were lucky his friend had bought it, simply nodding in understanding, "no wonder, you guys were being so weird just now."

Chris scoffed, "what weird?"

You turned around in your chair, pretending to pick up your bag, "stop, you're making it worse," you murmured so he could hear you, making him bring his glass of water to his lips.

One of your girl friends had spoken up, halfway through the meal, "wait, i just realised. If you guys work in the same office, then you must know her boss right? That dude is crazy. We all thought it was a miracle that she could take time off for the wedding,"

You glared at your friend, trying to subtly shake your head in your attempt to stop her, but she was oblivious, "she doesn't like it when we badmouth him but it's true! Ever since she started working for him it's like her social life just disappeared. Her boss is always her first priority."

You'd never related more to how people said they wished the ground would swallow you whole. Looking down at your food, you'd tried to remain nonchalant about it, but Chris who was next to you was looking at your friend with wide eyes.

"Oh, really? What else does she say about him?"

You laughed nervously, waving your hands in dismissal, "nothing that concerns you."

Chris turned to you, dropping his volume to a murmur, "is that so? because i'm hearing all this and i'm getting the feeling it definitely concerns me."

You let out a huff of anxious laughter, bringing your glass to your lips, consuming your drink in sips because your boss was sitting next to you, but secretly wishing you could down it all in one go.

Soon enough, all your anxious sipping had made you reach an empty glass, the waiter coming over to refill it for you, earning an eyebrow raise from Chris.

"Leave me alone," you huffed.

Chris simply laughed, "what? I didn't say anything."

You'd tried to pay attention to the proceedings of the wedding rehearsal, and after dessert was served people had started to mingle around more, the drinks having started to kick in as you'd felt a lot more relaxed.

It was safe to say Eujin was as well, going around to talk to the guests and thank them for coming out of town for the celebrations.

Soon enough, you were almost done with your fourth glass, oblivious to the way Chris was looking at you, impressed yet concerned. Feeling skinny arms drape over your shoulders, you turned your head to see none other than Eujin, cooing at you affectionately.

"Tell your boss a huge thank you for letting you have this weekend. I couldn't even get to see you on my birthday or for the engagement party, but i'm so so glad you're here now."

You couldn't help but glance at Chris, knowing that you'd missed both of those events because you were helping him with something. The first being when he'd almost overworked himself enough to warrant a visit to the hospital since he hadn't been sleeping or eating well (after that, you swore you'd make sure this man was getting his three meals if you could help it), and the second time being when you had to accompany him to a keynote session out of town.

You were starting to think maybe there was a little more to unpack behind your reasons why you stayed working for Chris Bang. Your only consolation at this point of time being that the rehearsal dinner was ending soon, meaning that you could finally escape the suffocating tension you were feeling.

"Wanna hitch a ride back together? I drove here."

You'd almost declined, feeling as if you didn't have a right to be in his car if it wasn't work-related. Chris had seemed to sense your hesitation, simply not waiting for a reply and walking off, hoping his smile wasn't too obvious when he'd heard you jogging to meet his pace.

He'd surprised you even more when he'd opened the passenger door for you, shutting it gently after you'd gotten in.

You'd given in to the comfort of his car almost immediately, more-so when Chris had gone to take something from the boot of his car, getting into the driver's seat and draping the soft blanket over your lap.

"The drive back's pretty long, might wanna make yourself comfortable."

And you were comfortable, very comfortable. Chris had started to play some music from his playlist, something about his behaviour almost making you forget that he was the same boss that had worked you to the bone for over a year.

"I'm sorry," you suddenly spoke, once you were in the city, "about what my friends said," you weren't sure where all your courage was coming from, maybe it was the many glasses of wine, but whatever it was, it was putting Chris in an awfully reflective mood.

"And what I said," you added as an afterthought.

Chris took his lower lip between his teeth, shaking his head, “nah, don’t worry about it.”

Obviously, that seemed too good to be true, and you’d looked over at his expression in your attempt to figure out if he was being sincere. He was definitely gonna fire you.

“I’m not gonna fire you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just kind of…like, you know, wondering,” he began, “the uh… engagement party and the birthday party that you um… you know, that you missed. Were they both because of me?”

You pursed your lips, nodding, “but it wasn’t your fault, you know. The first one was when you’d passed out… you know, at the office, remember?”

He nodded, prompting you to continue, “the next one was a keynote session that I had to follow you to.”

Chris gulped, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. This whole time he wouldn’t have guessed you’d been giving up these things for him from how willing you’d seemed to work. Was this considered neglecting the needs of my employee? Probably. But whatever it was, Chris knew that he was being harsh on you more for his own sake than yours, but he was only starting to realise now that that might not have been such a good tactic.

Chris was already pulling into the hotel, stopping at the valet services as you’d slung your bag over your shoulder, Chris coming out to open your door for you, making you grimace, feeling as though you should've been the one to open it for him.

Walking into the hotel lobby, you'd glanced at your phone, seeing as Eujin had texted you tomorrow's plans, "did you get the schedule for tomorrow? I can forward it to you-"

Chris let a giggle escape him, nodding, "you know they would've sent it to me too, right?"

Your lips parted in realisation, nodding as you went over to press the lift button before he could even reach over to do so, "right, forgot."

You were sure it was something about your intoxicated state that was making you instinctively go into work mode, whatever relaxation you thought you would be getting on this weekend now seeming all too far from reach.

"Uh... I can check what time the hotel serves breakfast and arrange for something to be sent to your room if you want-"

"Y/N," his tone was enough to make you straighten up, goosebumps rising on your skin for some reason.

Chris was looking at you in amusement, one hand shoved into his pocket, "you're not working, remember? This is your rest weekend."

Your eyebrows knit in a frown, chewing on your lip as you averted your gaze, "I know but it's just... like I didn't expect to see you here and now that you are I can't help but feel like I'm at work or something," you'd turned to wonder what was taking the elevator so long, watching as the numbers had gone lower and lower, completely skipping your floor and heading to the carpark.

"You know what? How about this," he began, pausing momentarily when you heard the elevator ding, stepping inside the empty elevator and pushing your floor button, your heart almost stopping when he hadn't made to press any button.

"You're on the 14th floor too?" He nodded.

"Anyway, as I was saying. To make things easier for you, let's just pretend we don't know each other, that i'm not your boss, you're not my secretary. We're just... two people that met at a wedding? You don't have to do anything for me as long as we're here, hmm?" he offered, seeming to sense your hesitance

"Look, I'll go first," he stretched his hand out as if to ask for a handshake, "hello, nice to meet you, i'm Chan."

"Chan?"

He nodded, "my friends call me Chan. People only call me Chris at work."

You'd brought your hand up slowly, grasping his in yours, the cold metal of his rings against your skin more obvious when he'd given your hand a small squeeze.

"Nice to meet you, Chan. I'm Y/N?" you tried, looking at him for approval and earning a nod from him, trying your best to ignore the way he was smiling.

"Yes, that's your name," he laughed.

Letting go of his hand, you were thankful the elevator had reached your floor without any interruptions, realising just how lucky you were to have not bumped into him earlier on as he'd continued walking with you to your room, gesturing to the door opposite your room with wide eyes.

"My room's here."

You made to take out your hotel room key, hearing him clear his throat, and you'd turned around rapidly to face him, strangely eager to know what he was about to say.

"Say, Y/N, I'd love to, you know, get to know you more. What do you think about getting brunch with me tomorrow?”

You opened and closed your mouth for lack of a response. This was inappropriate, right? But then again, you weren’t working this weekend. And technically, in this situation, Chan wasn’t your boss. So, there was nothing to lose.

You nodded, “Yeah. That sounds…nice.”

===

“Sounds kind of suspicious if you asked me,” you heard Seungmin’s voice over the speaker, making you sigh. You were already ready, lounging on your bed as if to mentally prepare yourself for a stupid lunch.

“Right? I don’t know what he’s trying to get out of this.”

Seungmin knew. But it’s not as if he was going to tell you, no, that was Chan’s job not his. Frankly, he’d had enough of listening to the both of you whine about your apparent personal vendetta against each other. He watched his fair share of movies, Seungmin knew how these things worked.

“Maybe it’ll give you a chance to actually talk to each other like normal human beings instead of just bickering all the time for no reason.”

“I have a reason, I’ll have you know.”

Seungmin scoffed, “really? Enlighten me, then.”

You’d fumbled for a reason, stuttering in your failure to find something that validated your annoyance towards Chan.

“I don’t know, his dimples are stupid.”

Seungmin wanted to laugh, “so you’re telling me, you just can’t stand him because of his stupid dimples?”

Your attention was diverted when you’d felt your phone vibrate, signalling an incoming text from Chan.

boss 11:20am -meet u outside your hotel room in 10?-

“Shit, he wants to meet me in 10 minutes.”

Seungmin shrugged, “10 minutes is more than enough time for you to come up with a less shitty reason why you don’t like him. Or for you to realise that you don’t actually hate him.”

You scoffed, burying your face into your sheets as you thought of a reason.

“Okay, I’ve got it. I just don’t like how he treats everyone so nicely and then treats me like I’m some incompetent kid.”

“You know for a fact he doesn’t think you’re incompetent. He literally trusts you more than he does the other staff.”

You scoffed, “yeah, whatever. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s so condescending about it, he thinks of me i’m some kid that doesn’t know anything.”

Seungmin snorted, remembering the incident where Chan had asked him to tell you to button up your blouse after the directors behaviour during a meeting.

“Oh, he definitely doesn’t see you as a kid,” Seungmin cackled, earning an eye roll from you.

Glancing at the time, you saw how it was almost 11:30, “okay, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

Ending the call, you’d slung your small bag around your shoulder, giving one last glance at your appearance in the mirror in the bathroom before leaving your hotel room, startling when you’d spotted Chan there.

Dressed in a black pullover and jeans, Chan smiled at you, bringing a hand up to touch his ear, “morning,” he greeted.

“Good morning,” you huffed nervously.

He’d already begun walking, making you follow beside him, “did you get a good sleep?”

His eyebrows raised at your question, nodding at you. His hair was curlier than usual, not styled up like you usually saw. “you?”

You nodded, following him in silence as you’d gone down the list, realising he’d pressed the ground floor instead of where they were serving food on the 3rd floor.

“You pressed the wrong floor,” you began, not expecting to see the pleading smile on his face.

“Actually, I was thinking of bringing you to this place nearby, I’ve been there before and it’s pretty good.”

Your first thought was to wonder if it was expensive, knowing that this time you didn’t have the company card to fall back on.

“Is it expensive?” You asked, seeing him shrug.

“Not really.”

Only when you’d reached the area did you realise how much of an understatement Chan made. The restaurant was a small cozy-looking place that served food that you’d only heard of up till now, located along a line of boutiques selling unusual trinkets and handmade items.

Upon reaching, you and Chan had been led up upstairs to an outdoor seating area of the restaurant, the view of the scenery accompanied with the breeze instantly putting you in a relaxed mood.

“Do you like it?” He asked, almost sounding nervous.

Nodding reassuringly, you’d wanted to run away when you saw the way he’d walked over to where you were, pulling your chair out for you to sit on, making you flush. Never in your life would you have thought your boss would be pulling out your chair for you.

“You know, you don’t have to do that,” you told him, using the menu to hide your face from view, pulling it down slightly to watch how he’d rest his forearm on the table, scanning through the menu with a smirk on his face, his (stupid) dimples appearing on his cheeks.

“I wanted to. You’d never let me do it for you on any other occasion.”

You had to admit that there was some truth to what you were saying, choosing to change the subject by telling him you’d decided on what you wanted to eat, choosing something that was still within your budget for the weekend.

Beckoning the waiter over, Chan pushed his sleeves up to his elbows as he ordered for the both of you, the waiter asking what drinks you would want, a teasing smile on Chan’s face when you’d insisted on water.

“What?” You scoffed, earning a shake of the head from him.

“Nothing.”

You’d leant back in your seat, about to tie your hair up into a ponytail, hearing the buzzing of your phone, reading the caller id to see that it was your mom trying to video call you.

Sitting up quickly, you were about to excuse yourself when Chan had reached over, swiping to answer the call as he lifted the phone, pointing it towards you, his other hand beckoning for you to continue.

“Hey, mom,” you spoke through gritted teeth, your rubber band between your teeth as you worked quickly to bunch your hair into a ponytail, Chan wanting to slap himself with how his ears had started to feel hot.

“Hey, honey. Where are you? I called the office but they said you were on leave?”

You secured your hair, taking the phone from Chan with a grateful murmur of ‘thanks’, making your mother’s eyes narrow, “who are you with?”

“I’m attending Eujin’s wedding this weekend. I’m just uh…with a friend.”

Chan looked away to clear his throat, catching your mom’s attention, “guy? I thought you told me you weren’t dating anyone.”

This had caught Chan’s attention, having remembered Seungmin telling him that you’d broken up with your boyfriend.

“No, yeah, mom it’s just a friend. Can I call you later?”

Your mom’s eyebrows lifted, looking at you with a cheeky smile on her face, “oh, oh. Yes, of course you can. Have fun, baby.”

You hung up quickly, shoving your phone back into your bag, looking up at Chan in question as to why he looked so surprised.

“Your mom doesn’t know you have a boyfriend?” He asked, as if wanting that confirmation for himself, not feeling comfortable with pursuing his feelings if you were still in a relationship.

You shook your head, “no uh…I broke up with my boyfriend a long time ago.”

Chan’s lips pursed, nodding, “oh… sorry.”

You shook your head, not being able to help a breathy laugh from leaving you, “don’t be. He was…it was for the best.”

“D’you mind if I ask why? You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, I’m just kind of…curious.”

You shrugged, not feeling as inclined to hide the information, since it was in the past now.

“Nah he just… our schedules always clashed and I was always too tired by the end of the day to go out to find him and I guess it like, you know, sort of reached a point where I started prioritising my work and it didn’t work out.”

Chan nodded slowly, the waiter coming over to serve you your food, “go ahead, you can start eating first.”

You shook your head, insisting on waiting for his food to arrive before starting. “But I’m honestly fine now, it’s been more than a year since we broke up.”

Chan huffed in amusement, “is that why you said you can’t stand dating workaholics?”

Your giggles bubbled out of you, “honestly, I only said that to spite you. I’d much rather date someone that understands my schedule and reaches a compromise with me instead of just always expecting me to drop everything at their beck and call.”

Chan nodded, “I get that. Yeah, work is important and all but… I feel like if you really loved someone you’d find any moment you could to be with them. Well, for me at least.”

You laughed, “kind of hard, when we spend almost every waking moment with each other.”

You’d looked up from your food when Chan hadn’t responded, the waiter finally coming over to serve his food, though his expression remained, looking at you as though he’d wanted to say something.

“yeah,” he huffed eventually, starting to eat his food.

You’d shocked yourself with how comfortable you were in his presence with the knowledge that you weren’t working. This was what you wanted, wasn’t it? To have Chris treat you nicely like how he did the other employees. Only now you were realising how easy it was to catch feelings for him just from this one change.

Maybe you were kind of thankful he made it easier for you to hate him previously.

It was true that you understood him better than most, and that he understood you as well, knowing what got on your nerves and what didn’t, how you worked and how you responded to things. Albeit there were a few things he still didn’t understand, you couldn’t deny that Chan was well-liked in the office for a reason, and you were beginning to experience that reason for yourself.

Chris had been mulling over what his mother had told him about you, wondering if you were feeling the same tension that he was even as you talked about pointless things that made you wonder why you hadn’t talked about them sooner.

Not that it was a bad kind of tension (or maybe it was), but it was akin to the feeling of knowing that you would both have to confront a realisation soon.

“Are you doing anything tonight?” He asked as you were heading back to the car, earning a shrug from you.

“My friends wanted to have some kind of girls night thing, you?”

He sighed, nodding, “same, the guys and I are going out for drinks.”

You shot him a look, “drinks?”

He laughed, shaking his head, “I can hold my alcohol, I just choose not to drink.”

Your eyes widened, “and I’m only finding this out now because? Do you remember when I had to drink your drinks for you during the first networking session because you lied to me and told me you couldn’t drink that!”

Chan flushed, “I wasn’t lying, technically. I really couldn’t drink that, I don’t like white wine.”

You shot him a harmless glare, this time, letting him open the door for you as you got into the passenger’s seat.

“Don’t drink too much tonight, yeah?” He gave you an amused huff as he started the engine of the car.

“You too,” you held your pinky out for him to make a promise.

Chan nodded, linking his pinky with yours as he leaned closer to you, “deal.”

===

You’d heard the sound of beeping at your door that night, wondering what all the ruckus was all about, getting out of bed, taking your hotel room key and pausing the show you were watching on your phone, making your way over to your door carefully.

“Why isn’t the card working?” You heard a tell-tale Australian accent muffled through the door, looking through the peephole to see a head of messy brown hair, looking as though Chan was leaning against the door.

Opening the door slowly, you’d acted quickly to grab Chan by the shoulders to steady him before he could stumble forward, the confused boy holding up his hotel key and looking at you in confusion.

“This isn’t my room?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, turning him around as you’d ushered him a few steps forward to his hotel room door, “this,” you pointed at the door, “is your room, Chan.”

He giggled, “you called me ‘Chan’.”

Taking his hand, you scanned his hotel key, bringing him into his room, finding it awfully neat (unlike yours), smoothly guiding him to his bed and letting him flop onto it.

Letting out a sigh, you couldn’t help but to feel rather endeared, seeing him open his eyes slowly to look at you, tilting his head.

“Sorry, I promised I wouldn’t drink so much.”

You shook your head, reaching over him to grab at his blanket, your movements ceasing abruptly when you’d felt his hand on your back as you hovered over him, his hand moving from your back to your head, patting it gently.

Pulling the blanket up harshly in your panic to cover him, straightening up as quickly as you could.

“Shut up, go to sleep. Goodnight,” you said, hurriedly exiting the hotel room and going back to your room, closing the door behind you and trying to calm your rapid heartbeat.

The next time you’d seen him was at the hotel lobby, where you’d agreed to meet him so you could head to the wedding venue together. Chan had come down wearing a nice suit, something you were more used to seeing him in, his hair styled up in a familiar manner.

Greeting each other, you’d both decided to pretend the night before hadn’t occurred. With you being one of the bridesmaids and Chan being one of the groomsmen, you were separated almost immediately upon reaching the venue, with him having to help his friend while you helped Eujin.

“A little birdie told me you came together with Chan,” she sing-songed.

You scoffed, “aren’t brides usually supposed to be freaking out by now?”

“Don’t change the topic! So, did you guys hang out yesterday?”

You shrugged, “yeah, I guess we did.”

She narrowed her eyes at you, “so? Is there a verdict?”

You went behind her to take her bouquet, handing it to her as you waved her off in dismissal.

“Too early to tell,” you lied.

“Stop avoiding the question! Or else I’ll just have to ask Chan myself,” she huffed sulkily, making your eyes widen.

“No, don’t do that! Okay, fine. It’s good. He’s nice.”

Even Eujin’s makeup artist was giving you a knowing look now, making you cower under their gaze.

“Shut up, focus on your wedding, please.”

You wished you could’ve done some focusing for yourself, with Chan’s friends nudging him when you’d gone to the back of the church to line up with the groomsmen, all of them seeming to have conspired to let you walk with Chan.

“Why do you look more nervous than the bride?” He teased, holding his arm out for you to take, making you roll your eyes, bringing your hand up to grasp his arm.

“You’re delusional.”

Okay, maybe he wasn’t. You wished you could’ve taken your advice, having been distracted throughout almost the entire ceremony, your gaze constantly flickering over to Chan, and you were sure he’d noticed too, with the way he would smirk and avert his gaze to the floor in his attempt to stop himself from laughing.

Shouldn’t he be the one that was nervous? He was the one that had shown up drunk at your hotel room.

After the ceremony had ended and you were all done taking photos with the bride and groom, Chan had offered you a ride to the reception venue, and you’d accepted, not knowing that you would’ve had to squeeze in a car full of his friends too.

Sitting at the passenger’s seat (thankfully), you’d prayed for the ride to be shorter as his friends had started to question you and Chan.

“Is there something going on with you two?”

“None of your business,” Chan sing-songed, only serving to spur his friends on even more, your eyes widening when you’d heard one of his friends murmur.

“Wait, but didn’t he say he had a thing for his secretary?”

Your hand went up to cover your mouth as discreetly as you could, clutching the bag of your wedding gift for Eujin and her husband and looking out of the window in your attempt to keep your composure.

Chan had seemed to share your sentiments, his eyes widening as he panicked behind the steering wheel, his mind racing with things he could possibly do to prevent you from hearing what his friends were so freely spouting.

“Oh, did he? Then there can’t be anything going on with her, right?”

Chan had reached over to turn the volume of the music up, much to your fortune, not knowing if you would’ve been able to handle hearing them talk more about Chan’s love life.

Eujin wasn’t kidding when she said that she’d make you and Chan sit next to each other, and you’d ended up at a table with Chan nearer to the front, with a few of your friends and their partners. Watching Eujin and her husband enter the hall, you’d been filled with excitement at how happy she had looked, clapping and cheering for them along with the rest of the guests.

Once they were seated, Eujin and her husband had begun to make their own speeches, thanking the respective groups of people for coming, and you didn’t miss her pointed mention of how she hoped the guests would use this time to get to know each other as well.

The way Eujin had done things was that dinner was served so that the guests could listen to the speeches and enjoy their meals at the same time, which you didn’t mind since you were absolutely starving.

You didn’t miss the way Chan had been subtly looking out for you during the dinner, like how he would casually ask if you needed anything whenever he would get up to go to the bar, or how he’d brushed your hair behind your ear so it wouldn’t get into your food (not without a tut of his tongue), earning many surprised looks from your friends which he was oblivious to.

You figured he was really making use of the ‘let’s pretend we don’t know each other’ thing as an excuse to be nice to you, not that you were complaining.

You glanced at your phone, skimming over the texts that one of the intern secretaries had sent you to ask you for help, making your friend curious.

“Is that your boss?”

You shook your head, “nah it’s just one of the interns asking me for help with something,” you shrugged, setting your utensils down as you swiped into your email app, ready to clarify the problem for her, making Chan furrow his eyebrows in annoyance.

Reaching over, he’d taken your phone from you, locking it and dropping it back into your bag, ignoring your look of confusion.

“Hey, I was just gonna email her!”

“They’re not supposed to be asking you to do things for them while you’re on leave. No working, this is your rest weekend.”

You’d shut your mouth at that, deciding that it wouldn’t do you any well to go against him, wanting to pull your phone out to just read the emails but dropping your phone back when you saw the look he gave you daring you to continue.

Your friend had seemed to be fairly amused by your exchange, shooting a look at Chan, “wow, now I’m really glad you’re here. You’re the only one so far that’s managed to stop her from checking on her work when she’s supposed to be resting.”

You scoffed. Yeah, because the source of your work was sitting right next to you in a stupid suit.

“Good to know,” he gave you a knowing smile, making you direct your attention back the waiters, seeing that they were serving desserts now.

“Your friends make me sound like i’m a hard-ass,” he leaned closer to you to murmur, making you smile, nodding.

“Well, they’re not entirely wrong,” you drawled, making Chan scoff, though not being able to help the laugh from leaving him.

He nodded slowly, his expression looking fairly amused, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

You wondered just for a moment if he was only being nice to you for the sake of his own conscience (though Seungmin would beg to differ). And by the late afternoon, you were already starting to feel drowsy from the afternoon weather, the skies darkening as though it were about to rain. Chan had figured it would be good to start heading back.

After you’d bid goodbye to Eujin, who seemed more than eager for you to leave together with Chan, Chan had offered to drive a few of his friends back to the hotel together with you, and thankfully this time they hadn’t mentioned anything about his love life.

“Tired?” Chan huffed with a smile, glancing at you momentarily before fixing his gaze back on the road.

“Yeah,” you murmured, yawning.

“You should get some sleep when you get back to the hotel.”

You nodded, “you too.”

Chan nodded patronisingly, earning a huff from you, too tired to bicker with him. something in him stirring at how he could’ve been acting like this with you a lot earlier if he wasn’t always masking his concern with rude phrasing.

His mom sure was gonna be excited the next time he updates her.

===

You hadn’t gotten as much of a rejuvenating sleep as you would’ve liked, reality having kicked in that you were back to work tomorrow, the feeling lingering unsettlingly in your chest as you tried to make the most of the rest of your night. Somehow, you’d found your way to the lounge in the hotel, though that didn’t help much in lessening your dread for tomorrow seeing as the only other people here were people working on their laptops.

You figured it was not so much of dreading work than dreading Chan’s change in personality once he went back to being your boss.

Letting your head rest on the stiff cushion of the chair you were sitting on, you’d fiddled with your phone, texting Seungmin about what had happened today.

You’d almost startled in your seat when you saw someone take a seat next to you, turning to see Chan, his tie long gone as his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his hair already falling out of place as he simply looked at you.

Raising your eyebrows in a silent question as to ask why he was here, he scoffed, looking away from you but failing to hide the reddening of his ears, “shut up, I just didn’t feel like sitting with a stranger.”

You huffed in amusement, “did you take a nap?”

Chan shook his head, “nah, just finished a conference call.”

Your eyes widened, “wait, why didn’t you tell me? I was doing nothing this whole time—“

Chan shook his head in dismissal, “you were tired. I told you, this is your rest time, I’m not allowed to touch it.”

You frowned, your mind racing with thoughts on how tomorrow could possibly go, looking at the carpet with a hint of a pout on your face, “yeah, and then tomorrow, everything goes back to normal.”

Chan inhaled deeply, leaning back in his seat as he turned his head to look at you, his hands clasped and resting on his lap.

“It doesn’t have to, you know… like…” he shrugged, “if you don’t want it to.”

Your lips parted, unsure how to respond to the implications of his words, unsure how to even process his words.

“It’d be… unprofessional for me to continue to act like… this towards my boss.”

Chan raised an eyebrow at you, shrugging, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

“I think I’m way past being professional already when it comes to you.”

You’d sworn the air had felt thicker, something about the way the night mood had felt, or how the music in the lounge had succeeded in relaxing you, but something inside of you was telling you to just do it, to lean forward and kiss him. And probably promptly resign the next day out of embarrassment.

You stood up quickly, “oh, I think my cab’s here, I have to go,” you lied blatantly, Chan not making any move to stop you, simply lifting a hand to wave you off with a tired smile on his face.

“Go, go. See you at work tomorrow.”

===

“Can’t we ask Y/N to ask him?” The secretaries and interns were currently huddled in the pantry, having gathered to discuss how great it would be to have a field day soon.

“But Y/N’s equally as scary as him!” One of the interns spoke up, making the secretaries hum thoughtfully.

You’d stepped into the pantry, walking through the secretaries to retrieve a juice packet for Chan.

“Hey, what’s up?” You asked, one of the secretaries turning to you with a resolute look on her face.

“Y/N, do you think you could um… like, you know, ask President Bang if we could arrange for a team outing soon? Like a field day or something, just as a break for the staff. We haven’t had one in so long!”

You tilted your head at them in amusement, “why don’t you guys just ask him? He’s in his office now, I can go tell him you guys wan—“

“No, no! It’s different, you’re the only one that can convince him. We tried last month but he’d just told us he’d think about it.”

You shrugged, nodding, “alright, sure. I’ll go and ask him.”

Making your way back to his office, you’d tried to ignore your nerves as you knocked on the door, opening it to reveal Chan who was on the phone, holding up a finger to you to signal you to wait.

Walking over to him, you’d placed the juice packet on his desk in front of him, earning a smile and a grateful nod from him, before he’d switched back to a serious expression.

“No, yes, of course. We would want nothing more than to ensure a… mutually beneficial agreement between our companies.”

You didn’t have to ask to know who he was talking to. Chan had been trying to negotiate a deal with one of the shareholders, since they had been trying to propose to get Chan to merge with another prominent electronics company in the industry.

You knew Chan was more than annoyed, but he had no choice but to be civil with the president of the company since they did have many shares in the company from the time his uncle was in charge.

“Yes, we can discuss this more in person over lunch, how does that sound? Yep. Alright, bye.” Chan sighed, setting the phone down and leaning his palms on the table, supporting himself with a pained look on his face, looking up at you with a pout.

“I really don’t like him.”

Chan sighed, “same here.”

“Anyway, I’m glad you came here, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something.”

“What?” You asked, watching as he’d fiddled with the papers on his desk.

“Uh… I won’t ask you to handle things outside of work for me anymore.”

Your eyes widened, “is this because of what my friends said? Because I’m honestly fine it doesn’t matter,” you shook your head, seeing him scrunch his nose.

“It may not matter to you but I’m personally not fine with it,” he pressed his lips together. “Really, I mean it. Whatever I ask you to help me with from here on is only gonna be work-related.”

You nodded. Was he trying to distance himself from me? Was it because of the trip?

Your lips pulled into a frown, nodding more to yourself than to him, “okay…uh anyway I wanted to ask you um… the secretaries were wondering if we could have like a field day or something soon? Like just as a small break for the staff?”

Chan shot you a look, knowing they’d asked you to ask him.

“Do you want that?” He asked, earning a nod from you.

“Yeah, I guess. It’d be fun to just have a day for staff bonding and all…”

Chan shrugged, “alright, tell them to go ahead and arrange it.”

Your eyes widened, finding the exchange to have went a lot more smoother than expected.

“Will you be needing me for anything else?”

He looked at you as if in thought, taking his lower lip between his teeth and letting it go, shaking his head, “other than to help me book an appointment with President Kim, nothing else.”

You nodded slowly, exiting the room.

By only asking you for work-related things, you’d expected your work-load to decrease, but it seemed as though you were currently having the most uneventful day you’d ever had. Other than drafting proposals for the President of the electronics company, there wasn’t much on your plate.

You’d figured you would’ve been a lot busier tending to Chan’s requests but the boy had barely come out of his office, the only times he did being to head to the washroom, barely casting a glance in your direction when he walked past you.

As if that wasn’t strange enough, he’d even let you have a longer lunch break, much to Seungmin’s amusement.

“Doesn’t being in the legal team sound a lot more enticing now? At least you’d be doing something there.”

You rolled your eyes, “I still have quite a bit of research to do, so no thank you.”

“Admit it, you’re only staying because you can’t bear to leave Chan.”

You’d almost choked on your drink, patting your chest to regain your composure, “where the hell did you get that idea from?”

Seungmin scoffed, “you act like you didn’t call me a thousand times during the trip to tell me about things he did.”

You’d fallen silent at that, averting your gaze.

“Whatever,” you scoffed.

“Isn’t it misconduct, though? If I were to date him.”

Seungmin shook his head with an amused snort leaving him, “what are we in, the stone ages? Go wild, literally nobody cares. They’ll probably be happy if you manage to get him to be less of a hard-ass,” Seungmin told you, glancing into his cup to see how much drink he had left, “god knows when was the last time he got laid.”

You flushed, shoving Seungmin, “how can you say that?”

“What? It’s true!”

You gave him a dismayed glare, standing up with a sigh as you straightened out your skirt, glancing at the time on your phone.

“I should probably be heading back now, I’ve got work to do,” you gave Seungmin a pointed look, pulling him up from the bench.

“I don’t wanna go back to work,” Seungmin let out a loud strangled sound of protest, his shoes stomping on the wooden panelled floor of the rooftop.

You giggled, a teasing smile on your face, “weren’t you the one saying the legal team was what again? Enticing?”

Seungmin pouted, pressing the elevator button, abruptly flailing his limbs in a mini outburst before straightening up and composing himself.

“Fine, I’m fine. Enjoy your stupid office romance with Chan.”

You rolled your eyes.

Chan had a consultation with the legal team later that afternoon regarding the issue with the shareholder, and you’d been all-too-distracted during the meeting as you thought about what your possible ‘action-plan’ regarding your situation with Chan was.

Taking down notes during the meeting, you’d let your train of thought wander, almost doodling onto your notebook, with one hand supporting your head on the table before you heard the legal advisor from the shareholder’s side speak up, a guttural groan leaving him.

Looking up with an annoyed furrow of your eyebrows, you heard him lean back in his chair, “what does a man need to do to get a drink around here?”

“You,” the man pointed a finger at you, “go and make yourself useful, sweetheart. Get me a cup of coffee.”

Chan’s eyebrows knit into a frown, looking at the legal consultant with clear disdain on his face, looking at you to gauge your reaction. Already expecting you to do what you always did, get up with a smile and come back with the man’s coffee, Chan figured he was too annoyed by it to let you do just that.

About to speak up to the man, you'd shocked Chan when you narrowed your eyes at him, giving him a sweet smile, "sorry, that's not my job here. Since you're not contributing much to the discussion, why don't you make your legs useful and head right over there and get yourself some water."

You huffed, staring him down as he glared at you, directing his gaze to Chan. "Are you just gonna let her talk to me like that? I'd fire such a rude brat if I were you. Who's your supervisor, I'm gonna make sure he hears of this."

Chan did his best to conceal his smile, simply turning his chair ever so slightly to give you a small smile, "that would be me, and I heard it loud and clear. Now, shall we continue with the meeting?"

===

You’d been spending hours at your desk, distractedly doing research as you’d kept trying to peep into Chan’s office to figure out what he was doing, to no avail. (Chan had put the blinds down halfway through the day since he couldn’t stop staring outside at your desk either).

You were technically done with your work, and Chan did mention that you were free to go home once you were done. On any other occasion this would have been considered a miracle, and you wouldn’t have hesitated to go home. But now, there was a nagging feeling in your heart that you couldn’t just leave him here, especially with how stressed out he was because of the business with the shareholder. You didn’t trust him not to spend the whole night here.

Glancing at the time, you saw that it was already past 10, deciding that you would give him some time to make an appearance before you left, just to make sure he was alive and breathing inside his office.

Distracting yourself with replying emails, even playing more than a few rounds of a word-search game on your phone, you figured he would’ve come out by now, but there was still not a sound coming from inside the room.

Once the clock had almost struck 11, you figured you’d might as well go in and check on him for yourself. Going over to the pantry to make a hot drink, you’d walked back to his office, your grip tight on the saucer in your anxiousness.

Inhaling deeply and breathing out with a resolute nod, you knocked on the door of his office, waiting a while only to be met with silence.

Pushing open the door slightly, you’d tried again.

“Mr Bang, is it okay if I come in?”

Upon receiving no response yet again, you’d pushed open the door fully, your eyes widening in realisation when you saw him seated at his desk, fast asleep on the chair.

Walking over to the leather sofa as quietly as you could, you’d picked up the blanket from the sofa, making your way over to where he was, setting the hot drink onto his desk and making to drape the blanket over him.

Only when you were adjusting the blanket did he stir awake, making your fight-or-flight instincts kick in, strangely embarrassed if he were to catch you doing such a gesture for him.

Blinking slowly, his eyebrows furrowed before his gaze had landed on you.

“I thought you’d gone home already?” He pouted, making you fumble to find an excuse why you’d stayed behind.

“Sorry, Mr Bang, I was—”

He gave you a lazy smile, shaking his head, “none of that ‘Mr Bang’, nonsense. How come you haven’t left yet?”

You pressed your lips together firmly, pulling your hands away from the blanket as you tried to straighten up, sighing softly.

“I couldn’t leave… for some reason. I kind of wanted to make sure you were okay, since I barely saw you the whole day.”

Chan’s satisfied smile had grew, nodding at you as if prompting you to continue.

“but I’ll go soon. I guess,” you blurted, “unless like you know, you need me for something, then I’m fine with staying.” You stopped yourself, nodding before you could embarrass yourself any further.

You couldn’t help but let your breath hitch when he’d reached out to grab your hand.

“Thank you, for checking up on me,” he murmured, his close proximity making your gaze dart to his lips, averting your gaze quickly.

“Did you not come out of your office on purpose?” You narrowed your eyes at him, hating the way your heart was doing flips at the way he grinned, his dimples showing cutely.

You were about to pull back out of your own internal panic, but Chan’s grip on your hand was firm.

“I’m sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t ask you for anything that wasn’t work related from now on. But It’s killing me, because you were sitting outside the whole day and I couldn’t do anything about it…” he paused, tilting his head as he searched your expression.

“You can refuse, but I just need you to do one little thing for me,” he murmured, pulling you forward so you’d ended up seated on his lap, your arms going out to grasp his shoulders to steady yourself.

“What do you need me to do?” You asked, your voice a mere murmur with how the tension was absolutely suffocating you, wanting nothing more than to just close the gap between the both of you.

Chan’s hand went up to your chin, running his thumb over your lower lip as they unconsciously parted, “close your eyes.”

Chan couldn’t help but smirk at the way you’d done so obediently, his hand going to where your neck met your jaw, leaning closer to press his lips against yours.

Almost as if it was second nature, he’d let his other hand grasp your hip, his thumb rubbing the area soothingly. Tilting his head to kiss you deeper, you’d practically sighed into the kiss, your hands wrapping around his neck loosely as you felt him smile into the kiss.

“I’m glad it’s you,” he murmured against your lips, his tongue swiping against your lower lip making you let out a surprised hum, not being able to help your smile as well.

“We should stop,” you pulled away, breathless.

“Why?”

You shook your head, “I could kiss you for hours. It’s already so close to midnight.”

Chan glanced at the clock apathetically, looking at you and shrugging, his hand running up and down your side.

“So be it, then,” he said, pulling you back to meet his lips.

===

“Is it just me, or has President Bang been a lot less moody these days,” Seungmin heard one of his colleagues in the legal team asking her desk-mate, making her colleague nod gravely.

The mention of President Bang had him glancing towards his office, spotting your desk empty and figuring you were inside his office.

“Definitely. At first I thought it was just me, but he’s been a lot less harsh to Y/N as well,” she agreed.

“Don’t you think so, Seungmin?”

And almost as if on cue, you’d exited his office, pulling your hair out of your ponytail to readjust it, looking around as if scanning the area to see if anyone had seen you.

Locking eyes with Seungmin, you shot him a wink, straightening out your blouse as you’d gone back to sit down at your desk.

Seungmin scoffed, not being able to help the smile on his face as he rolled his eyes, “yeah, I think I know why.”

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