#and I will never ever be ready | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tatakaeeren · 6 months

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Levi Ackerman | Shingeki No Kyojin Final Trailer

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a-trek-trough-the-stars · 11 months

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Barry Trivers and Gerd Oswald dropping “The Conscience of the King” on December 8th of 1966, only to never elaborate on Tarsus IV and Kirk’s past there

#I can’t believe they never elaborated or mentioned that ever again #common it’s a film ready to be made #the POSSIBILITIES #also hats off to all the ff writers who took it was their job to elaborate on that #I love you all #tarsus iv #star trek #james t kirk #star trek tos #tos spock #tos spirk #tos #spock #star trek the original series #the original series #Kirk #the conscience of the king #kevin riley

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saltpepperbeard · 9 months

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Taika and Rhys: we're comedians so drama can be harder for us sometimes Me: ARE-YOU-SURE-ABOUT-THAT.GIF

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zu-is-here · 6 months

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Your Viking drawings are so cool. I love NM's role.

#zu art #comic #vikings #(<– more here)#dream!sans #nightmare!sans #passive!nightmare #undertale #undertale au #utmv #zu is happy #ask #when I saw this ask I was like ''omg viking au my beloved...'' and the dialogue was ready in just five minutes *w*#thank youuu!! <3 #it's been (almost) a YEAR >:D #my headcanon is that Nightmare was really weak and sick since childhood so it was clear that he'd never become a warrior #perhaps these childhood grievances due to bullying him left such an imprint on his destructive personality #(oh wait it's canon haha ;D)#but yeah now he's almost the most respected person in their tribe (and this plays into his hands) =)#“...better than this strong and healthy Dream will ever be.”#I believe he still loves his brother deep inside and may let everyone die but not him #but Dream knows that this should be stopped...#omg I came up with another scene how dare you inspire me when I have to work xd <33

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uncanny-tranny · 3 months

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Shoutout to those whose burnout never felt like a controlled bush fire, but felt as a forest fire consuming everything in its path. To those whose burnout didn't blossom into new life on the forest floors, but whose burnout has only left charred bark and silence in its wake. There's nothing wrong with you. Burnout can feel like a wound sometimes, a secret you keep to yourself out of shame. Your forest is not ruined. The fire wasn't your fault. If something will start to blossom in that forest, it will take time. It will be small. But it will be life.

#positivity #encouragement #encouraging words #burnout #i thought of the english class i took where i had to write and i panicked...#...and that just... makes me sad to know i'm still in that burnout. i grieve the time lost #my burnout never felt small or controlled. it was a forest fire that raged through the entire thing. the entire forest is on fire #and that fire drives out all the life - it saps it out like a tapped tree #i don't know if i will ever write again but whatever grows in my forest can be different but still just as good #it will be better but it will be different #i guess i just need to wait and cultivate my forest to be ready for such a case

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thranduel · 8 months

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some thoughts about astarion because i'm tired of the internet reducing him to one thing

when bg3 came out in early access, astarion was always seen as the extremely flirty, confident guy who enjoyed sex (or so we thought) and spoke about it like it was his favourite thing. he was also kinda marketed as the “sexy vampire”, so you can understand why many people saw him that way based on the little amount of content we had. even while playing act 1 and act 2, many players still might think of him like that because he does have a very charismatic personality and he asks to sleep with you very early on, so it just automatically makes you think he’s genuinely happy doing that and being totally serious.

BUT!!!!!!! we end up finding out later on that’s NOT the case and it was all part of a plan to seduce us in order for him to gain protection. he opens up about his past and his trauma and how he was forced to use his body to lure people back to cazador. he struggles with intimacy and relationships in general because of this. that’s why i really hope that people stop reducing him to “hot sexy vampire that loves flirting and having sex with everyone” when that is not who he is, he’s literally traumatised because of sex due to being forced into it and he’s slowly trying to heal. he’s also so much more than just “the hot vampire”, ya know? if you actually put in the effort to get to know him, you will see who he truly is underneath and he has many loveable traits to appreciate.

you may not see the “soft” side of him very often because he hides it, but it’s there!! one thing i noticed that really stood out to me was that when i gave food to an orphan in act 3 and he approved. back when you first met him, he probably would’ve done the opposite or had no reaction at all. i also saw a clip of someone trying to romance karlach and astarion and he literally told tav to choose karlach over him because he can see that karlach loves her. he said normally an arrangement would work for him but after everything karlach has been through, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt. letting tav go is also hard for him as well but he still thought about someone else. he could’ve whined or been possessive or jealous but he didn’t do that at all. where are all those people who reduce astarion to “the guy that flirts and sleeps with everyone” now? seriously. that’s not what he does, and when he was forced into it by cazador, he was trying to survive, he didn’t do it for his own pleasure. it’s not a “hot” personality trait of his, it’s literally trauma. and because he did it so much, he got used to it, and that resulted in him disassociating and feeling empty.

apparently if you ask him to join you and sleep with the drows at the brothel (something i will never make him do in my playthroughs), he only says yes because he struggles to say no. but he disassociates. and if you’re in a high approval relationship with him and he loves you, he will feel safe enough to express his feelings and say he’s not comfortable. this happens before you fight cazador. i’m not sure if he gives the same response after, but either way, if he joins in, he will always disassociate and it’s not something he wants to do despite what he may say.

that being said, it’s obviously still okay to appreciate his beauty and attractiveness, because he is very beautiful. he appreciates it and even likes being called beautiful. calling him “hot” and “sexy” isn’t a bad thing either, we know he can be and i'm sure he knows it too! it’s just annoying when people act like that’s ALL he is and they don’t even mention anything else about his character. the love scenes are beautifully done too (i personally prefer the second one after you’ve stopped him from doing the ritual, because that’s the one where he decided he truly wanted it and felt safe and comfortable because he genuinely loves you), and i actually would’ve been fine if they didn’t have any scenes like that at all because it’s totally understandable and valid if he didn’t feel comfortable, but i just hope that people don’t take things too far and over-sexualise him just because of how he appeared to be in the first half of the game and the way he’s often marketed on social media. and yes i know he’s fictional and nothing on the internet is going to hurt his feelings!!!! it’s more about the fact that he canonically has sexual trauma and many people still say really disturbing stuff even AFTER they find out about that, and it just makes me uncomfortable to think that people are okay with treating someone like a sexual object especially when they've said they're traumatised and it makes them uncomfortable. idk if this makes sense 😭

but yeah he doesn't want to flirt and sleep with everyone as i've seen people claim. and if in an alternate universe he did, and he did it on his OWN terms, and the other people he had relationships with enjoyed it too, then good for them! absolutely nothing wrong with that if there's consent, respect and honesty. however, that's not the case with what happened with astarion, because 1. he was forced into using his body WHEN HE DID NOT WANT TO and 2. he misled people and lured them to a miserable fate. it's so horrible and devastating for everyone involved. sex was never something fun for him, and it certainly isn't a "personality trait" of his. it was a survival tactic. he was forced to. he didn’t want to.

obviously when he becomes more comfortable, then it's totally understandable to get excited when he flirts and shows physical affection. he can be so charming, funny, sweet and romantic and i love that. it’s so beautiful to see him heal, genuinely find comfort in someone for the first time and experience intimacy that he feels ready and comfortable for. he deserves to love and be loved on his own terms instead of being forced. but again, he is so much more than the guy we were introduced to at the beginning. the internet just sees one thing and sticks with it but i really hope people start to actually appreciate him for who he is and the complexity of his character.

aaaaand i just had to leave this here <3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #sorry for rambling i’ve just been very emotional about him recently 😭#also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid #he does not have to change or force himself to feel a certain way #especially after everything he’s been through #and if you think he does then you’re gross. he doesn’t owe anyone ANYTHING #anyways #when he kept apologising for not sleeping with tav i wanted to cry #there is literally a scene where if you tell him halsin is interested in you he says it’s ok to go to him #but then he gets concerned and asks if it’s because he hasn’t slept with you for a while #and i wanted to cry #he should NEVER have to feel guilty for that #honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because ->#in act 3 after his genuine love confession after you help him defeat cazador he initiates it himself #and it feels like it’s something he truly wants after developing a strong emotional bond with someone for the first time #and i think that’s really beautiful that he chose to do it on his own terms when he felt ready #but also #for a while i wasn’t sure if he was repulsed and uncomfortable by sex in general and hated it entirely #or if he only feels comfortable after he develops a strong emotional bond #the only reason i think the second one now is because of what happened in act 3 #but regardless whatever it is i just want him to feel safe and comfortable and happy #my posts

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c-is-for-circinate · 9 months

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Someday I'm going to figure out how to properly shriek about Mike Wheeler growing into precisely the same kind of toxic masculinity Steve is stumblingly growing out of.

#Stranger Things #it's #'the only emotional focus or outlet a Man is allowed to have is his girlfriend'#and it's #trying to cope with being the very very Ordinary Guy surrounded by geniuses and marvels #and it's how you look at your gay best friend who you will never ever date #and how you admit to loving people and things #and whether you think you can be better #(and it's Hopper too #facing this same conversation from thirty years farther on #but y'all are not ready for THAT discussion yet)#anyway I continue to have a surprising and annoying number of feelings about Mike Wheeler

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blushedfemme · 2 months

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happy high femme holy day ❤️💖💋

#she blushes #femme lesbian #femme4butch #im single and this is already a better valentine’s day than i ever had while in a relationship 👏🏻👏🏻#first of all my ex would never have put up with me taking this long to get ready 😂

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iknowwhereyousleepatnight · 6 months

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he’s THE guy ever

#death note #l lawliet #manga redraw #my art #he’s THE guy #i love him #did u know i didn’t even care for him my first read/watch through of dn #so wild #that’s bc i was weirdly fixated on light #and i love light he’s perfect and awful and great #but now i understand #L is the guy ever #you’ll never guess but i’m tired lmao #winter brings it out in me #i’ll wake up and be ready for a nap an hour later no matter how long i’ve slept #maybe i should get that checked out #anyway friendly reminder that soon i shall finish my comms sheet and comms will be open probably by the 7th december #maybe sooner.i need to check when my finals are but they'll be in the first week-ish of december and after that i can draw and sleep all da

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brahmenbones · 26 days

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hrrrnngg

Shrmgle

#murder drones #uzi doorman #serial designation n #md n #my art #i am a very serious murder drones artist #I have never drawn these goobers before but I instend to start NEOW #cause they are my favorite blorbos ever #So here we go guys get ready to get blasted !

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willowser · 3 months

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for whatever reason, you're there after the war. for touya—not dabi.

once he's moved out of the hustle and bustle of the city and to an intimate little place, somewhere a bit quieter. with his family, of course, as his entire being just—heals. he's given the time and the space and the patience that he needs, but it's not easy. almost feels like it's never going to be.

he comes and goes in waves; thunderous and loud and all consuming, another crash upon the shore. in anger and pain, in fear and hatred, with a kind of madness that you could never hope to understand.

and then sometimes, he is quiet. when you help change the wrappings on his body or when you offer the help of an arm he doesn't have or when you just sit with him, fully clothed, underneath the ice cold spray of the shower.

in these moments, it's almost like he's been gutted, like everything he had inside was scooped out—and it sounds like it should be terrible. but touya watches the carefulness to your hands and how you tie his shoes and lets you rest your head on his shoulder when you're sitting side-by-side in the tub, because he's still as warm as he's always been.

and you think maybe it isn't so bad that all that was removed, when they sewed him back together; all the anger and pain, the fear and hatred, the madness that's nowhere to be seen in those bright and clear eyes of his.

without all that in the way, you hope—you all do—that something new will grow it its place.

#i'll never get over that scene in casino royale when bond sits side by side with vesper in the shower #it's so intimate and i haven't ever forgotten it #and idk i just like the idea of someone having the patience to sit with touya in the shower like that #until he's ready to come out #lately i've been really into the idea of healing touya 🥺 after it all 🥺#✿ willow writes #✿ thoughts: dabi/touya

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foundfamilynonsense · 6 months

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Y’know. Anakin was a real asshole in Ahsoka’s hallucination.

Like. She mentions something about what she’ll be able to teach her padawan one day, since all she’s being taught is how to be a soldier, and Anakin’s like “teaching’s not all it’s cracked up to be”

And like. Asshole move. And Ahsoka rightfully calls him out on it. And he goes on the whole “uuuh I was joking. Lighten up.” Literally a complete jackass.

But beyond how he answered the question, it’s a valid complaint Ahsoka is bringing up! Anakin’s teaching her how to live or die. But Ahsoka wants to be taught how to be a jedi.

What happens after the war is over (order 66 never happens) and she now has to navigate a galaxy without a war? The Jedi take teaching very seriously there’s no greater honor than teaching a padawan. And she’s not being accurately taught, so she will not be able to pass anything on to the next generation.

But Anakin brushes it aside because he simply does not respect her or her wishes. Like. He never wanted a padawan, despite teaching being foundational to the Jedi. And he only took ahsoka in because he started to like her and became attached to her. He doesn’t care about jedi legacy, not really. So he brushes her comment off with a joke.

But in the rest of the vision… idk it didn’t feel like we were supposed view Anakin as entirely wrong here. He wasn’t in the right, he was definitely channeling Vader and being an ass, but he was basically the reason Ahsoka survived the fall, right? Bc he was making her choose life? When Ahsoka wins against him it’s sort of like she’s both learned his lesson and moved beyond him. And then for the rest of the season he’s only talked about in positive ways.

And like. That one line ahsoka said was really powerful in relation to the entire point of the show. What does she have to pass onto her own padawan (Sabine) if she wasn’t properly trained herself? That is, perhaps, the only valid plot question asked in the entire show. And it doesn’t get an answer. It’s never even brought up again.

#I have now learned Dave filoni wrote the entire series #so I am able to say now with absolute positivity that he’s a shit writer #I had been blaming the issues that the writers went on strike for #but no it’s just filoni being a terrible writer I guess?#I mean. none of the character issues are ever really resolved #we have no reason to believe ahsoka is ready to be a master now #we have no real understanding of WHY Sabine unlocked her force powers and shit (not how it works but whatever)#Sabine never learns her lesson about letting thrawn come back #Ahsoka doesn’t get anything really resolved with Anakin #she just acts like he was never Vader and that he was a great master #when we SEE in her vision he was not #idk it’s like every character plot point was dropped #nothing happened in the first half of the show #the dark side girl had a half rebellion but we got no emotion or background from her #it was just… a pointless show #nothing was accomplished #star wars #anti ahsoka #anti anakin skywalker

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lonewolf638 · 7 months

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'i owe him everything' is actually so crazy. dean saving sam over and over again the debt piling on and sam never being able to catch up forever the little brother trailing behind who gets n gets && sam's hero worship as a child just continuing as szns pass, like god there is nothing dean can do that sam won't forgive dean will forever be the perfect good man

#violating sams trust & getting the mark right after. hunting sam in his own home n they never talk abt it #telling sam he has to die. getting ready to kill him n seeing how he placed a dead mother before his own self as more important / worthy #n they never talk abt it #idk everything keeps on accumulating and piling and sam will always be in the position where he has to be grateful #n he is grateful! 'my family saved me'!#i think. sams whole problem is that he is loved too much by the wrong people #not that dean is wrong but like. it is impossible for him to ever repay dean #sam and dean #sam winchester #spn #rambles

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thejadecount · 2 years

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2012 and Rise TMNT Crossover Masterpost

Rise! Mikey, on his last straw: Listen here you little shits. I am this close to Dr. Delicate Touch. And NO ONE likes Dr. Delicate Touch. So you’re going to. Sit down. And listen. Got it?

The 2012 Gang, fearing for their life: Y-yes sir.

Rise! Mikey: Good. That’s what I thought. You’re going to process your emotions in a healthy way, whether you all like it or not.

-

Meanwhile, the Rise! Gang watching from the doorway:

Rise! Raph: Should-should we help them?

Leo: No. No I wanna see where this goes.

Donnie: I want to see them cry. It’s going to be wonderful.

April, recording: I almost feel sorry for them. Almost. Poor guys should’ve ran the moment Mikey got on the turtleneck.

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uncanny-tranny · 10 days

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So much love and recognition to the people who don't know how they feel about recovering. To the people whose scars are fading away, and there's a sinking feeling, despite knowing that it's a good thing. To the people who miss when they were "worse," when they felt "broken." To the people who mourn losing their coping mechanisms, even the ones that were destructive, scary, or unpleasant. To those who feel guilty they're healing because their past self wasn't ready.

Whatever it is, there is nothing wrong with any of those feelings. It's a natural reaction, something you don't have ultimate control over. There is nothing shameful about yourself, and I admire the strength it takes to recognize how you feel, even the parts that do feel like the "wrong" reaction to a Good Thing.

#mental health #self harm tw #self harm mention tw #sh tw #mental health recovery #mental health support #i love you i love you i love you #i admire you and empathize with you and want to be your fellow man. i want to share this wold *with* you #and that includes sharing a world that you aren't sure you deserve or are ready for #the world can wait. humans have been here for hundreds of thousands of years. it can wait #when i think about all this what makes me feel better is remembering how many billions of people have lived #and it makes me feel better to know that there has never been a problem too big to have - to uniquely awful #i have my own conflicted feelings about this because objectively i am healing #but it feels like i have boarded on land after surviving the worst trip to sea ever...#...a trip that was plagued with my ship being flung through hurricanes and lightnight and i'm only manning a sailboat...#...and i have found land and that land is good...#...but my legs feel like they will give out underneath me because this is solid land that i have never stood on...#...and you get used to the constant seasickness and sealegs and wondering *how* you'll make it out - If you will...#...the peace feels like a ruse at times because all you've known was chaos. but it's a good ruse and a comfortable one #and so you learn i guess to sink into the comfort like a spft feather pillow

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kyouka-supremacy · 4 months

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Okay about Beast sskk; because I realized I've got a very definite picture of what the Beast post-canon is like that is only in my mind and I never actually put down, so here we go. Very needed content warning of sickeningly fluff and Beast sskk being disgustingly in love with each other, I suppose.

After Dazai killed himself, Atsushi is reasonably tormented, and can't sleep at night. Roaming across Yokohama late at night, he always ends up at Akutagawa's– instinctively, unconsciously, to an extent even unwillingly. He doesn't choose to, it's more about countless nights unable to sleep spent wandering with no destination and still always finding himself in front of Akutagawa's place for some reason. Akutagawa somehow always knowing when it's going to happen so that he can face him before Atsushi has time to hesitate and run away. How they don't really need words or explanations most of the time, how for Atsushi knowing that there's another person who understands is enough, and everything he needs. How before Atsushi realizes it (and thus keeping him from trying and prevent it), Akutagawa's house has become the only place where he can fall asleep.

That's how they start living together before even being together. They might not even have an actual “getting together” moment, you know? The development of their relationship is so natural and spontaneous, it was meant to end that way from the beginning. Besides, Beast sskk don't really need words between them, so... I suppose an actual confession, albeit nice, would be almost superfluous.

Soon enough they move together to a small apartment near the ada (I'm assuming Atsushi has still enough money saved from his old job). Against popular belief, with time it kind of crystallized in me the idea that Atsushi wouldn't join the ada? His life to that point has constantly been doused by violence and pain and death, he deserves a long break to cope with all the trauma; throwing him right back to another environment where he's constantly pushed to fight and use his ability would not do any good to his mental health; especially when he's got such a conflictual and hating relationship with Byakko, even worse than it is in canon. I wasn't kidding about the house husband thing. Beast Atsushi stays home and chills down and is safe and away from all major sources of stress and triggering environments. Slowly, with time, he goes out more often, gradually relearns what normality is supposed to be like, and bit by bit all his traumatic experiences get more distant, and the nightmares more rare. Akutagawa follows up with his ada job– obviously! There's a whole deal in the end about how important it is for him to keep doing his job and trying to be good. I do believe the ada is the right place for Akutagawa. He returns home to Atsushi who always welcomes him with warmth and joy, and they cuddle a lot.

But I also believe that there would be times when Atsushi is required to go back to action and fight– he's not a member of the ada and he doesn't work for them, but it's obvious that when the ada is in danger and Yokohama is facing serious threats, the guild and the rats and ultimately the doa, the times will call for his intervention. He usually comes to help or rescue Akutagawa, a trump card of sorts. And it's endearing, how Akutagawa is always the one, even among the ada, most contrary on getting Atsushi involved, how he wants to protect him and keep him away, how more than anything he wants him to be safe. As for Atsushi, I really like the concept of this man who retired from action, that spends most of his time at home or chatting with the seniors in the neighborhood, who joins the fight only when the situation is most desperate and reveals himself to be the most powerful and destructive beast to have ever walked on earth. He reluctantly fights, and together with Akutagawa they end up saving the day for everyone, because as Dazai himself said nothing can stop the both of them together.

On the other hand, when the world isn't ending Atsushi solves that very specific role of crime drama protagonist's husband who's very supportive of their partner and listens to them ramble at home about their cases. He often offers useful insights on how criminal organizations work.

Atsushi didn't replace his collar after it broke. They're barely visible under his turtleneck, but he has now wrapped bandages in its place: to hide his scars, to keep the memory of Dazai with him everywhere he goes, to remember what he's lost but also what he's gained.

Ah, and when it comes to the fight against Fukuchi, Atsushi is the one to die for Akutagawa, of course.

Headcanons that directly contradict something stated above but that I still like:

Sskk get together after six months– it's got an ironic taste to it, the timestamp their canon counterparts set to kill each other now being the time they declared their love to each other. It's so soon, but also is it really? They immediately clicked the moment they met each other, and they were always destined to be. At that point, there's no one in the world they need more than they need each other.

In case of Atsushi still wearing the collar for some time after the canon events: sskk had their first kiss when Atsushi took the collar off for the first time. Ever since Dazai died, Atsushi is haunted and unstable; he's throughout scared of taking off the collar, terrified by the idea of hurting someone unintentionally, now that Dazai can't be there to controll him (both through his ability and by the general power he used to have over Atsushi's psyche). Akutagawa sees how much Atsushi is physically hurting, and insists on him taking the collar off; they fight over it for months (verbally, for the most part, except for a couple of times when the fights become physical– but without abilities), before Akutagawa finally manages to convince Atsushi to take it off for a few hours. When they're alone, because after months of being persuaded, Atsushi can trust Akutagawa to be able to defend himself; and also something about “you would never hurt me”. Thing is, when Atsushi finally takes it off, he quickly spirals into a HUGE panic attack, not able to trust himself not to harm the people he cares about; and the only person around is Akutagawa, and he cares about him deeply. The tiger is taking over, and Akutagawa is panicking, and he's desperately looking for a way to quickly ground Atsushi so he just. Kisses him. Which effectively works in the way it immediately distracts Atsushi, as well as causes him to zone out for several minutes. Akutagawa immediately apologizes, and then panics again when Atsushi doesn't answer for a while. It's kinda cute. After that, Atsushi gradually learns to take his collar off more and more often; this time, he can really trust that, if Akutagawa is with him, everything is going to be okay.

#This might as well be the sappiest thing I've ever put down but like. idk did I make it go through that Beast sskk are meant to be #atsushi nakajima #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd beast #mine #15/08/23 #This is ridiculous I never realized how soft I made them until I actually wrote it down.#It's so silly when I'm also the first one ready to make canon sskk suffer #What can I say. They've suffered enough.#“The bandages are barely visible under his turtleneck” I mean that's for when he wears his turtleneck–#and not Akutagawa's striped shirt as he does at home. Which is an awful amount of times but nobody needs to know that.#I'd say this is self-indulgent but it's not like I'm doing it on purpose this is seriously what Beast sskk is like in my mind.#Nothing much I can do about it. That's the realistic Beast outcome for me.#If the author wants to prove me wrong by dropping Beast 2 they're more than welcome but untill then *this* is my canon #kbcu (Kyotag Beast Cinematic Universe)

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