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Have you heard of the tragedy of the Champion of Kirkwall?

+ Bonus

The og post that made me go insane

#hey look this is the thing! #yep #on our DA2 bullshit tonight

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Like, yes, I know it's the year 2024 and all that, but you definitely all still want to have Hawke Dragon Age feelings with me, right. You know you do.

#sincerely if I went finding and rebogging gifsets for whatever thing has captured my heart every time a new thing does #there would be no end to it all #but also #HAWKE #JUST HAWKE

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"tumblr thinks this" "tumblr users act like that" the only thing all tumblr users do is look at posts.

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I regret to inform you that Discord's new Terms of Service includes an arbitration clause. You can find it here https://discord.com/terms/#16. This clause includes an opt-out, which I have transcribed here:

You can decline this agreement to arbitrate by emailing an opt-out notice to [email protected] within 30 days of April 15, 2024 or when you first register your Discord account, whichever is later; otherwise, you shall be bound to arbitrate disputes in accordance with the terms of these paragraphs. If you opt out of these arbitration provisions, Discord also will not be bound by them.

These clauses are underhanded ways that corporations seek to deprive you of your right to participate in class-action lawsuits and your right to a jury trial. (This does only apply to us users ,other people still spread the word though )

#SIGH #spreading the word

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"Medieval people did this," "medieval people were like that" my dude there are people twenty miles away from me right now who would fight a man over regional differences in what we call water fountains, and we have the internet. You think a bunch of humans whose only contact with their neighbors three hundred miles up the road was some guy who took four weeks to get there on horseback plus also The Church (noted expert in all things that people do and like in every era, never argues with itself), all agree on how to take a bath or cook a turkey just because they happened to live in the same century? If my grandmother knew how some of my friends cook pasta she'd have a stroke. Please.

#this post brought to you by yet another argument over how much “medieval people” bathed #HAVE WE ALL FORGOTTEN THE TWITTER WARS OF 2019 OVER WHO WASHES THEIR LEGS #people have always been people

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#AAAAAAAAAAAGH

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This scam made the California University study 124 imported oils and found that over 70% of samples failed the tests.

These failed:

Mezzetta

Carapelli

Pompeian

Primadonna

Mazola

Sasso

Colavita

Star

Antica Badia

Whole Foods

Safeway

Felippo Berio

Coricelli

Bertolli

These brands passed:

Corto olive

Lucero

McEvoy Ranch Organic

Omaggio

California Olive Branch

Bariani Olive oil

Lucini

Ottavio

Olea Estates

Cobram Estate

Kirkland Organic

Also, test the olive oil yourself at home. Put the bottle out when cold, or in the fridge for 30 min. if it gets solid, it is pure and has monounsaturated fats.

#well damn #time to check the olive oil

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Have been playing this obsessively so far this afternoon!

Sometimes, the simplest razor is a bunch of swords...or something...

(seriously, go play, it is so fun!)

The Credible Machine

Machine [Explained]

Transcript Under the Cut

[A drawing of three differently colored balls bouncing off platforms.]

Caption: [Visit xkcd.com to view]

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Gothic Fantasy/Folk Horror Books: 10 Recommendations

Uprooted by Naomi Novik

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik

Juniper & Thorn by Ava Reid

The Wolf and the Woodsman by Ava Reid

A Far Wilder Magic by Allison Saft

Down Comes the Night by Allison Saft

Not Good For Maidens by Tori Bovalino

The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden

Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher

The Gathering Dark: An Anthology of Folk Horror by Tori Bovalino and others

#oooh #to read #I'm in a Gothicy horror-trappings-but-romantic-heart sort of mood lately #this should do just the trick

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Look, I love me a good platonic marriage/partnership story. You know I do.

But. My friends. My babes. My guys.

Two people being in a lifelong, literally or effectively married platonic partnership are not obligated to forever forgo sex and dating with all other partners until death amen. POLYAMORY EXISTS. It exists for a reason! You can be married to the 100% nonsexual love of your life and still want sex to be in your life, and it still can be! Without feeling gross or empty or like a traitor, even!

(and yeah, this also goes for marriages/partnerships that DO already involve sex, but y'all are not ready for THAT conversation.)

#look this isn't JUST about Steve and Robin #but yes okay it's also about Steve and Robin #I need to get back to writing that fic #also this is NOT about ace people OR about devaluing nonsexual relationships #if two spouses had a lot of sex it would be normal for one of them to have a rock-climbing friend! #this would not be a threat! just a consequence of your wife not liking rock climbing! #SOMETIMES EXTRAMARITAL SEX IS JUST ROCK CLIMBING!!!

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No April Fool's prank so cruel as spending all day at work on mobile watching people extol the joys of booping, only to finally get home, activate my Boop-o-Meter, and discover that every one of my mutuals has already been the subject of maximum boopage and there are no more boops left for me to give.

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being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

#watched this today #a delight! #with faith and perseverance we will one day sautee the horrors #Eat Your PTSD

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You know, I am not actually unilaterally opposed to stories or magic systems where magic powers are associated irrevocably with madness.

But I could do with about 1000% less of it from authors with no interest in investigating what madness actually means beyond the blithe certainty that it can only inevitably be the equivalent of death.

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popular holotuber spacebomberguy has uploaded a new five hour video essay! it starts as a critique of the new “dress like a senator” fashion line and it’s place in pro-republic clone wars propaganda, before spiraling into a discovery that chancellor palpatine is a sith lord!! reactions on the holonet are mixed, with macewinduofficial declaring the video “necessary viewing for all of coruscant” while anakinskyyyy3534 replied to a link with “TLDW”

#omg #INCREDIBLE #the linked fic is A+++

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#well I would read this book #honestly the current top three poll answers are like #*chef's kiss* of book contents #give me those three things in one book and I am Listening Intently

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You know those anime meta posts along the lines of “I was born with pink hair. The doctors told my parents I was a Main Character and ever since my life has not known peace from demons/spirits/sports competitions/harems who find me”

Well I see that, and I raise you this:

An anime boy whose appearance is, by absolutely anyone’s account, completely and utterly average. Mundane hair. Mundane eyes. Not even glasses to set him the tiniest bit apart. A simple, unmemorable, unrecognizable civilian among a backdrop of millions.

And he has a lot of passions, and a lot of ambitions, which he hones every chance he gets. He’s dabbled in sports and archery and cooking and just about anything you could wrap a competition around. And he’s competed in many of these. Every chance he gets. With all of his passion and all of his might.

He’s crushed by the competition every single time.

Until one day–one day something clicks for him. Something that should have seemed obvious from the start and yet never was–as though everyone, including himself, was unwittingly blind to it. It clicks, when he realizes every kid who’s beaten him in competition, every kid who’s gone on to fame and glory and acclaim, has been some candy-haired gel-spiked ridiculously-dressed fucker. 

There’s some trend there that this Main Character boy can’t explain and can’t understand but he decides, this one time, fuck it. He’ll play along too. He’s got a model train competition in four days, and he’s got nothing more to lose. He hits up the department store, buys the pinkest, noxious-est, fruitiest hair dye he can find, the spikiest hair gel available, and the gaudiest clothes on the thrift rack. He enters the model train competition looking like a bubble gum gijinka.

And he wins.

Suddenly, the other candy-haired contestants notice him. They talk to him. They pledge rivalries. Girls notice him. Judges applaud him. Acclaimed model train aficionados offer him internships across the world. He’s hit on something. 

The main cast expands to cover just about every candy-hair cliche in the book: from the mostly-normal-looking demure school girl with the blue hair to the Naruto-est, yelling-est boy with the red-and-green spiked hair. The cool megane senpais, the purple haired tsunderes, suddenly everyone is interested in him. They’re prodigies and upstarts and underdogs and they truly believe that this main character boy is one of them.

So the main character boy maintains his ruse. He touches up his roots at dawn every morning and carefully attends to his gelled spikes and tells absolutely no one about this great, uncanny, unfathomable secret he’s stumbled upon. He wins his competitions left and right. He racks up the acclaim. He’s hailed as a prodigy of all trades, just now bursting onto the scene, and boils to the top of all his candy-haired peers.

He’s rising up, his every dream within his grasp. Until one day he gets a note under his door, taped to an old picture of his Normal Boring self from middle school, that says “You don’t belong”

#oh man I WANTED TO READ THIS ONE a couple of months ago! #and could not find it! #so now at least it's on my tumblr #somebody else's fic #somebody else's writing #c recs stuff #surely I'll remember one of those tags on the future

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I think we're all aware of and know to avoid as much as possible the sort of jobs that have incredibly high turnover and advertise themselves as "like a family!" to distract away from massive capitalist worker exploitation.

But I think it is worth also reminding people to walk or possibly run from workplaces with zero or decades-long turnover, who advertise themselves as "like a family!" because it's actually true.

#late-stage capitalism baby! #that missing stair is a bitch and it'll get you every time