#and I could have prevented both of those people from getting hurt by speaking up | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

akutasoda · 14 days

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Hi! For the 1k event could I request hcs of Wanderer or Alhaitham (either works!) with a shy but extroverted s/o? Like they love talking and socializing, but their shyness prevents them from doing so. Hurt/comfort, fluff, or angst would be fine :>

Love your writing btw!!

extroverted introverts

synopsis - when their s/o who loves socialising has a shyer personality

includes - alhaitham, wanderer

warnings - gn!reader, reader is shy but loves talking, fluff, slight angst, wc - 713

a/n: <3 thank you! why not both?

alhaitham ★↷

↪alhaitham isn't exactly a people person, he has those headphones on him for a reason now. he can happily go about his day not socialising with anyone outsiders of who he needs to speak to and even then he likes to keep it brief and gotten over with.

↪so when he first saw how shy you could be he kind of just assumed you weren't that fond of talking to people and that was all. it wouldn't take him long until he could see how you always looked like you had something to say when you were with people but never did.

↪he wanted to chalk it up to your shyness but when he saw you with familiar faces, himself included, you seemed to talk forever and it was like you would never be shy. it took him a short while to figure out you did like talking to people but you had a shyer side which made it very difficult for you.

↪now, if you were anyone else he'd see it as a tough luck situation but fortunately he cared for you. he wouldn't really waste any time in asking you about it and would quickly add that he'd be willing to try and help you. a small part of you wanted to tease him for becoming so willing to talk to people for your sake.

↪whenever you'd accompany alhaitham anywhere and he happened to be ambushed by someone he'd starrt helping you get incorporated into the conversation by always prompting you subtly - he actually liked doing this because he didn't have to talk to the other person but at the same time you could happily talk to them.

↪he would never pry into why you would become so shy sometimes as he knew it wasn't really his business but he'd still help you. sometimes he'd catch you becoming a bit more extroverted and see you talking to new people and a part of him would feel happy for you.

↪he did actively enjoy bringing you into conversations subtly as you always enjoyed talking with others and he didn't, so it'd normally take the attention off of him which meant he didn't have to talk to anyone unnecessarily.

wanderer ★↷

↪wanderer is quite a mixed bag when it comes to socialising with others. a part of him can be very outgoing and he likes to talk without a filter, uncaring to those around him especially when he's annoyed - much to nahida's dismay. another part of him can be quite quiet when it comes to socialising, preferring to silently judge while others talked.

↪didn't mind that you seemed to be shy and rather hesitant about talking with others. you'd probably have to tell him directly about how you loved to talk with others but you simply couldn't get over your shyness because he wouldn't really pick up on it precisely.

↪like maybe he'd notice how you always looked like you wanted to say something but didn't but he wouldn't really put two and two together. he'd also be slightly unsure of how to help because it's not like you can force somebody to just get better at talking to people.

↪he'd probably start noticing how much you actually did like socialising when he saw how quickly you could change from being shy to outgoing - specifically when talking to people you're quite familiar with. then he'd start noticing how much more outgoing and sociable you are, even with him.

↪he might be a little useless to begin with but maybe he'd start developing a more subtle approach where when he's talking to somebody he'd ask for your input and ease you into the conversation - it makes him very proud when he sees how comfortable you get when you get used to talking to someone and start enjoying the conversation.

↪or maybe if you didn't mind he'd start pushing you into taking the lead when you're both out and about. small things that would help you overcome your shyness and be able to have that confidence to be able to happily talk to anyone.

↪maybe he'd even let you talk his ear off late at night because he enjoys listening to how passionate you can be when talking-

akutasoda's 1k event

#↪♡akutasoda's 1k event ♡#—stellaronhvnters.#x reader #x gender neutral reader #genshin x reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin alhaitham #genshin impact alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #genshin wanderer #genshin impact wanderer #wanderer x reader

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sillyshrimps · 1 year

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Detail that makes me feral:

When being overtaken by the paradise protocol AI Turo twitches and shakes violently, whereas AI Sada's eyes flicker and her crystals seem to form tears.

It seems like such a small thing but it really capitalizes on the differences between them.

Sada is obviously magnitudes more outwardly emotional then Turo. When she tries to fight against the program it's her emotions that make it through, the fear in her eyes, the distress on her face. She wants to reach out to the kiddos, get them to understand that this is far too dangerous and not in their control anymore. But she also doesn't want them to be scared. Even if she's not the real Sada she has her memories. She remembers holding Arven in her arms. She still feels that bond with her son. She doesn't want to see the fear in his eyes. She doesn't want to him to feel this incredible trauma that she's had to push onto him but there's nothing she can do to stop it.

AI Turo on the other hand is trying to regain control of his limbs. If he could just stop his arms from moving. Turn his head away from the target. Just anything to stop the release of the miradon that had already killed the only human he has ever known in person. Miradon has taken his only real companion from him and in this scene he's trying to prevent it from taking the human he sees predominantly in his memories. Locking up his own joints and pitting muscle against muscle as he fights.

They both lose of course.

There's alot to be said of them and their memories and how it effects their view arven. But let's not skip over the fact that Turo/ Sada are likely the only humans they've ever known, and the raidons have likely torn them to shreds infront of their eyes, and left them alone in a dusty lab at the bottom of the deepest hole in paldea to stew on those memories for years. (And with the raidons they probably had to clean the blood off of) Now they're being used by those humans they once knew and trusted and were their only companions to repeat such a gruesome killing on four innocent and literally defenseless children. All this from someone they remember and speak of fondly.

I have to say that at the start I was really bothered by Turo being overall so rigid, almost indifferent compared to Sada. But then, I learnt to appreciate this difference and worked around it to shape my own headcanons. This is why I don't feel like many of my headcanons apply to Sada as well. I mean, she's always smiling, has that fiery grin on her, while Turo always looks so focused, no time for jokes. He never smiles throughout the game and the only time he does, well... he's a little cringe!

It might be because it's a robot (although it doesn't apply to AI Sada), but I like to think it's because this is the way the original Professor was. Always very serious, very focused on what needs to be done, no time for jokes/laugh around. After all, we are told by Clavell how he used to work so hard that he would fall asleep in his lab. I bet he didn't even attend social events whenever they organised them.

He's not very good at social relations either, doesn't always say the right thing/hurts people's feelings by accident... a little mess when it comes to interact with other humans!

With this, I don't want to say he never smiles or doesn't know how to do it. I believe he does sometimes, but always in a very subtle, contained way.

I got carrried away talking about my Turo hcs, but what I actually want to say is that I love how you read that moment for both professors, pointing out their differences and giving them an explanation. It's a little treasure considering that they have the same dialogues and storyline; I refuse to believe they are interchangeable to the point you could say the same hc is valid for both.

On the second part of your ask, you surely triggered some tears there! Anytime I read Professor&AI Professor analysis I prick up my ears.

Yes, it's extremely heartbreaking to think they had to fight so hard against the will of the only person they've known all their life. And yet, I still feel like they don't hate the Professor; they still respect them and feel sympathetic with them. As I said in one of my previous posts about Turo and his AI, I'm pretty sure the latter has witnessed the worst of him, and wished it could help him somehow, not to achieve his dream but... to set him free from it.

Also, it's extremely telling how both the AIs decide to travel to the future/past to honour the original professor's dream; in their betrayal, they were eventually still loyal in a way.

#ask box #professor turo #turo #ai turo #turo pokemon #professor sada #sada #ai sada #sada pokemon #arven pkmn #arven pokemon #trainer arven #pokemon #pokemon violet #arven #pokemon scarvio #pokemon scarlet #pokemon scarlet and violet

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royedismyaesthetic · 9 months

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RoyEd Week Day 2: Soulmate AU

Okay, so for this AU, everyone has heterochromia, and the color of your right eye matches the color of your soulmate’s left eye, and vice versa. That way, when you face each other, your soulmates’ eyes are a mirror image of your own. Multiple people can have your corresponding eye colors and can potentially be your soulmate. However, Roy is pretty confident that he’s just found his, seeing as how Edward is the only person alive who has a golden left eye and a black right one.

Keep reading for the full summary:

Throughout his life, Roy gets a lot of attention due to his unusual eye color. Seeing as how no one else has possessed a golden eye since the fall of Xerxes (or so he believes), Roy concludes that this is the universe’s way of telling him that he doesn’t have a soulmate. He eventually meets Edward of course, but while their eye colors do match up, the idea of them being soulmates… it just can’t be true.

While Edward is under Roy’s command, Roy has him wear an eyepatch over his gold eye whenever he is in public. That way, rumors won’t spread about who Edward’s soulmate might be. (I think the covering of one eye would be somewhat popular in this society, particularly among those who reject the idea of predestined soulmates and instead wish to seek out their own romantic and platonic connections. When you look at your soulmate with both eyes however, you are able to gain an innate understanding of their emotions. The eyes are the windows to the soul, as they say.)

Edward spends the following years in denial about Roy being his soulmate, and as he searches for the Philosopher’s Stone, he also secretly searches for someone else who could possibly be his other half. He comes up empty handed however, and over time, he finds himself developing feelings for Roy.

Sometime before Roy loses his eyesight, Edward reports to him in Central. For the first time, Edward refrains from wearing his eyepatch because he lost it somewhere along his travels. However, when Edward goes to meet with Roy, Roy refuses to speak with him without his eyepatch on. Roy also avoids looking Edward directly in the eyes, and Edward notices this. Because Edward is looking at Roy with both eyes for the first time since they first met, Edward can finally see into Roy’s soul, and he realizes that Roy is actually afraid to look at him.

Edward gets angry because he realizes that they could have had this profound emotional connection this entire time, and Roy denied him of that. Also, Edward has come to almost resent Roy for forcing him to hide a part of who he is.

Roy did this both to protect Edward, and to prevent something from happening that could maybe make it more difficult for himself to reach his ultimate goal. But also, Roy did it because he simply can’t bear the sight of Edward. It makes him sick to his stomach to think that Edward is destined to be with a monster like him. Whether Roy realizes it or not, he wants Edward to hate him. He wants Edward to love him. He wants to punish himself for his past mistakes by denying himself of this bond that he was destined to have.

Edward realizes this, and he tells Roy that punishing himself accomplishes nothing. Roy is just hurting himself. He is hurting Edward too on an emotional level, and maybe if he looked Edward in the eyes sooner, he would have realized that.

When Roy and Edward part ways, they still aren’t on good terms. But later on, when Roy chooses to use the Philosopher's Stone to regain his sight, Edward understands that Roy is breaking away from his previously held mentality. Roy is not forgetting about his mistakes, but he’s leaving the past in the past, and he’s looking forward and seeing what he can do to make a better future. And maybe in that better future, Roy will finally be willing to share his soul with Edward. The end.

@royedweek2023

#royed #i made fanart for this but i wasn't happy with it #so this edit is what you get #i also didn't have time to write the fic out in full #as you can see #royedweek2023 #alphonse has a gold left eye and blue right one if you were wondering #so roy knows from pictures that al is not his soulmate

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thenightfolknetwork · 4 months

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I didn't mean to. It was an accident. I swear I didn't know. I just...

The town I'm from is secluded, very secluded. Still using landlines and slow and spotty internet secluded. It's one of those towns hidden away by mountains and trees that take days to get in and out of. My point is that news is slow to get in, and about half is debated as rumor and "conspiracies against the common people."

I hope im saying this right. As i said, resources are limited, so please forgive any offense. The "People of the Night" are still thought to be myth here. If there are any um "Nightfolk" here, they haven't made themselves known. Not that I'd blame them, but it would have made this a lot easier, maybe prevented it even. I'm sorry I'm rambling, I'm still a bit shaken.

I thought I was just approachable. When someone's lost or needed help, they'd always find their way to me. No trouble at all, I enjoyed it. But it happened so often, My friends used to say that I "just had one of those faces."

It felt good to be needed. I'd ask how someone was. They'd vent to me what was going on, and I listened. If I could and they wanted it, I'd offer advice, but most just wanted to be heard.

But, a couple of weeks ago, I was walking with my best friend. We were just catching up, nothing serious. It was meant to be a joke, a reference to my tendency of "being one of those faces." I asked her if she had any dark secrets she wanted to share.

She did.

You'd thought I'd told her to do it at knifepoint. Her story came pouring out like an overpowered hose. When she finished, the look she gave me. I can't unsee it.

When it was over, i tried to thank her for trusting me with such sensitive information, but she told me to save it. I don't know how, but we both knew it was my fault.

She told my friend group what happened and now no one wants to speak to me. I tried to explain myself, but they refused to listen or trust what I had to say. Out of frustration, I asked one person why they were avoiding me, and they responded, "Because I always knew you were weird."

There was no denying that I... forced them to tell me that in some way, but it wasn't on purpose! But I must have proved something because now I can't leave my house because everyone is LOOKING at me.

I've been using a paper and pencil to get by as well as trying to learn BSL because im afraid to speak again. How many of those talks that I had were unvoluntary? How many people were forced to be honest and just pretended to be civil because they were scared of me?

I don't know if this is new or something that I'd always done. I'm alone here. The only reason I know as much as I do about the Creature Community is because I accidentally stumbled across your show on my radio.

I dont know who i am anymore. I miss singing and talking to people, but I'm terrified that I'll compel someone by accident. How do I get better? Where do I go from here?

Oh, reader. This must be a very frightening, upsetting time for you. I'm so glad you felt able to reach out to us here at the Nightfolk Network for support.

First of all, I hope you are able to see the difference between taking responsibility for your past actions, and making a martyr of yourself. You have been unthinkingly, unknowingly hurting people, and you do need to recognise that before you can try to make amends. But the harm you caused was entirely accidental. Please, be gentle with yourself.

In terms of practical steps forwards, I can reassure you: you are not alone in your powers, or in finding them difficult to control. Often powers of this kind make themselves known early in an individuals life, and you can imagine how difficult it can be to control the spoken wishes of a babbling toddler.

Nevertheless, many people in your situation go on to live perfectly ordinary lives with good control over their powers. And you have the advantage over a toddler, in that you are not only fully cognisant of the detrimental effects of such powers but also already able to find alternative ways to communicate.

Your first step is to contact your GP and arrange an appointment to discuss the matter. Write them a letter explaining the situation, and emphasising your need to conduct the appointment without speech. In a small, rural community like yours, it's very likely your GP will have little to no personal experience of such cases. But they will be able to refer you to an NHS specialist with whom you can explore possible treatment options.

In most cases, those options will be either medication, behavioural therapy, or more usually a combination of the two. I understand that there is a great deal of stigma around thauma-damping medication. Please, resist this pattern of thought.

Medication is nothing more or less than a tool we might use to help us live our lives. Taking medication does not indicate a lack of effort or will on your part in controlling your powers. It just makes a very difficult thing slightly easier.

However, NHS waiting lists for this type of treatment can be lengthy. In the meantime, I strongly recommend you reach out as best you can to your community. Writing a letter, text or email to your best friend would be a good start, explaining the situation as best you can and leaving the door open for her to rekindle the relationship if she feels able.

Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to forcibly mend the relationship. You can only present yourself honestly and hope that, in time, you are able to find your way back to something like the friendship you shared before this.

In the meantime, try to connect with other people in the community if you can. The Internet can be a wonderful place to connect with others, and your local library may have information about support groups in the wider area.

Above all, reader, take heart. There is plenty to be hopeful about here. You are not doomed to a life of fearful silence, or of isolation and solitude. With a little work, and plenty of support from the people around you, I see no reason why you shouldn't enjoy a long and happy life full of genuine connection with the people around you.

#answered #the nightfolk network #monstrous agonies

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evicted-oc · 10 months

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Admin: hey I'm still alive :D I haven't done a main post in so long and I'm slowly getting back into it! I felt like doing a little bit of angst so here's this monstrosity. Keep in mind I'm not a writer. Except more writing in the future! I want to progress this bot more

A bit of background knowledge: Hœnir's original home was constantly at war with another group. They fought for years and neither side were winning. The leaders of both groups decided to offer up their best warriors to give to the other side. Hœnir happened to be one of them who was traded off. They would torture Nir constantly. It took Nir years to escape and ever since then, they have been looking for him.

Warnings: my shitty writing skills, kidnapping, torture, stabbing, force fed glass, blood, broken bones, beating

Arawn was sitting at a table along with some of the other Celtic and Norse gods. They all had a meeting planned and more gods started to trickle in. Arawn was bouncing his leg nervously and chewing on his lip. It was rather quiet amongst the gods, they all could hear his platformed shoe squeak as it bounces on the marble floor.

He taps his finger on the arm rest before clearing his throat to break the silence. "Has anyone seen Nir recently?" He asks, scanning the other's faces. Most mutter quietly, trying to think back to the last time they saw the small god.

"I saw them yesterday at their café. He gave me a cookie." Morrigan speaks up softly, already starting to get worried. "I've had an off feeling all day... do you think?-" She gasps and covers her mouth. "No it couldn't be them. Would they really do that?"

All the gods and goddesses eye each other sadly before collectively getting up and preparing what they need.

*28 hours earlier at Hœnir's café*

It was around 8 at night when Hœnir was closing up their café. They locked the door and put on noise canceling head phones. There was some loud noises going on outside and it was giving him a headache. The only thing they could hear was his own thoughts. They quietly humed to themself as they cleaned up around the café and tidied it all up. He stood up straight and took a minute to look around at everything, making sure nothing was out of place.

Just as he was looking over the café, a group of three people snuck up quietly behind him. One of them took a cloth and put it over Nir's mouth and the other two held his arms and legs still.

Nir was thrashing around and attempting to use their powers to get out of the unknown peoples grips. However, whatever was on the cloth prevented Nir from using any of their powers. His eyes slowly rolled back into their head as they fell unconscious.

*back at Asguard*

Morrigan was focusing on trying to find Hœnir. Due to some of her powers, she can sense where any sort of violence and disruption is. Her eyes shoot open when she finally can see a glimpse of Nir. "He's there."

Those were the only two words she got out before Arawn, her, Cailleach, Donn, and Balor got up to leave. The other gods were on stand by and watching from the sidelines, ready to jump in.

Loki said their goodbyes to Donn, doing their best to hold back any tears. "You die and I bite you." She mumbled to Donn, who only chuckled in response. They share a kiss and Donn leaves to go to the chariot.

Arawn was facetiming his boyfriend, mumbling quietly to keep their conversation private. He puts the phone in his pocket, but doesn't hang up. He zips up the pocket and follows close behind Donn.

"Am I the only one excited for this?" Cailleach bounces. "I'm ready to make people sick!" She squeals as Morrigan nods her head in disappointment. Balor grins and wraps an arm around Cail. "I'm excited too~ I haven't hurt anyone since I got locked in that damn cell." He fixes his mask and pulls both Cailleach and Morrigan to the chariot. And with that, the five gods and goddesses were off.

Below this cut has a bit of a torture scene! Please read the warnings

*It has been 32 hours since Hœnir has been captured. They have been taken to a dungeon and is tied up with enchanted rope. During those many hours, they have been hit and kicked countless times, and both of his legs are broken. He's positive one of the bones in their legs have been shattered*

Hœnir is exhausted. They don't know how many hours they have been awake for. They just want to fall asleep and hope this nightmare will be over. His legs were aching from being forced to sit on and because both were bent at angles that shouldn't be bent.

It was silent in the room. Hœnirs eyes slowly started to fall close. He thought he was safe at the moment. They let their guard down as they slowly fall deep into their thoughts. Nir was ripped away from that trance by a heavy kick to the side. Loud crunching can be heard which causes Nir to grit his teeth, trying their best to fight off a pained whimper.

They do their best to keep a straight face, not wanting to show any pain or weakness. His nose scrunches up slightly when his hair was grabbed, forcing his head back. One of his kidnappers was holding up a small bag full of glass shards.

"Remember this?~" They ask with an evil grin. Any colour left in Nir's face dropped. "No-" he barely mutters out before his mouth his forced open.

"Oh yes you do~ now open up. This will only hurt for a bit~" He laughs and grabs a shard of glass, shoving it into the back of Nir's throat.

*back to the 5 gods/goddesses*

The five godly beings arrived at the destination. They made it into the building quietly before all hell broke lose. There was about 40 people waiting inside for them.

*I'm really bad at fight scenes but basically it takes the gods about 15 minutes to defeat all of them*

Morrigan stood up once she defeated the last person. She stretches her arms up and wraps the deep stab wound she has on her arm. "Its been a long time since I've done this- I'm rusty as hell."

Cailleach runs over to Morrigan and hugs her tight. "I got to fight people!" She squeals happily. There was one person still barely left alive. He grabbed Cail's foot and yanked her down. She smacked her cheek hard on the ground, causing the skin to break open. "Well thats fucking rude-" She coughs on him which causes him to get sick with the bubonic plague and slowly die. She hops up and dusts her shirt off. "Did you see that Morr?! I missed making people sick!" She bounces and hugs Morrigan tight again.

Morrigan chuckles and tugs Cail. "You can tell me all about it later. But first we need to get Hœnir."

Balor slowly walks behind the two girls with his ax swung over his shoulder. "Huh.. I don't think my fingers are supposed to be facing that direction." He mutters and looks at his hand curiously.

Arawn practically drags Donn out of the main room and the two of them run everywhere to find Nir. They head down into the dungeons where they can hear small pained noises. Arawn quickly covers up his bloodied hand with a bandage and looks over at Donn.

Donn nods, silently communicating with each other. He summons the dead which causes his arms to go black all the way up to his shoulders. He tightly closes his eyes, trying to ignore the burning sensation. He acts quick and commands the dead to barge into the room.

*Hœnir's perspective*

He was handling blow after blow. Hit after hit. Stab after stab. He knelt there and quietly took all of it. Whatever the three people threw at him, they took it without a peep.

Hœnir's head shoots up when the doors slam open. They knew immediately who it was and the tears they were holding back started flowing down their cheeks.

The dead dragged the three kidnappers down to hell where Donn and Arawn would take care of them later.

Arawn rushed over to Nir and immediately untied him and picked him up. Nir was sobbing, weak and covered in blood and bruises. "I-i want to go home." They cry and cling onto Arawn.

Arawn quietly comforts them and holds them as carefully as possible. "We'll get you home."

AND FINISHED. Welp that was long. Please let me know if I need to add anymore warnings or anything like that. This was way longer than I expected. Hope you enjoyed :D be prepared for more angst in the future

Tags: @livealittleoc-cb @the-hellhounds @kardpackcb @beaconhillsxbot @domxbot @florintradat @beastfights-starting @romeochen @welcometosector1 @dawnswonderland-entertainment @mxthxbot @k-venturetime @cafesongmingi @reve-rv @multi-esme @3rachabot @elemental-dream @badbf-cb @mutant-academy @pasdrak @theonesxcb @clubwnderland @kenharu @dark-royals-cb @namiras-rose-tattoos @hoteldelluna-rp @model-boyscb @logan-oc-cb @moongods-cb @enhanced-cb @thedevoted-cb @tsunfullsunbot @san-cb @domrachaa @silcntxnight @timmburrton @league-of-assassins @androidmuses

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factorialsotherfandoms · 9 months

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Scribbled this out a few nights ago. It’s not really about any specific event, though it references the Tazercraft Prison stuff and the Election Dinner so spoilers for those. It just... idk I know cc!Philza rarely does lore because by the time people get going he’s falling asleep, buuuuuut in character he surely has his reasons too. Even if getting dragged into it will happen sooner or later. Also. I saw the Antarctic Empire outfit from smp earth and was like. that’s a cool colour I’ll make him wear it. Then ran with it.

Fit, Philza, and the inevitable.

Philza was retired. Fit knew this, and he respected it - after everything, his friend deserved nothing less than to stay at home with his children, to grow potatoes and build basements and decorate nearly every surface with moss and glowberries. His swords had been swapped for axes, his armour hung up for more easily cleaned dungarees, and his wings clipped so badly that he might never regain use of them again.

That last point? It hurt Fit, it hurt him so bad. He remembers seeing Philza fly across worlds, dark as night and free as a bird. Nobody could have stopped him, then. Now... the codes can, Etoiles could, but this world was strange and none of the rules were quite right, and Philza had always been resistant to change.

But Philza was also a dear friend, and Fit could no longer afford for this to go wrong. He trusted nobody on this island, not one of them.

Well.

He trusted Philza, but perhaps it was that trust too which made him hesitate. When Pac and Mike were merely kidnapped for a day, he had been tempted, so tempted to tell him. But then he would have had to tell the rest, and...

Fit was no fool. He knew how it would end. Philza would be unwilling to involve himself, to scared of risking his children- one too eager to fight, the other an easier target than most.

And yet, Philza would help him anyway. Because they were friends, because they had always been friends, because Philza might have been unwilling but he very rarely said no to a genuine plea for help.

He would have agreed, and he would have destroyed himself to do it.

So here they were, stood at the edge of the wall. Ramon was antsy, ready to go, but Fit had insisted on wishing Philza and his eggs a proper goodnight.

"Night mate," his old friend said, as he opened the hatch to his basement.

Fit hesitated, and Philza escaped. But...

"Wait here Ramon," Fit opened it for himself, and followed Philza down.

"Fit?" The confusion was so genuine. "Did you need something else?"

"Philza," he replied. "Put the kids to bed, but then I need to speak to you."

Philza frowned, but nodded - told Fit just to wait outside.

After a short while, Philza returned to the top. His face was grim, and they both knew how this conversation would end.

"So Philza," Fit said. "Do you remember where I come from?"

"I do," Philza replied, his frown falling further.

"I've been taking steps to deal with the Federation at the request of-" Fit spoke quickly, cut off by Ramon headbutting him hard enough to bruise.

"I don't want to know," Philza glanced to the hatch behind him as he spoke, preventing Fit from continuing. "My children, Fit, you know-"

"I do know," Fit held out a hand. "I’m sorry old friend; I wouldn't be asking if I had any other option left."

Philza closed his eyes, looking down and seeming every bit his age. After a long moment he sighed, looking up to the sky, and then the Federation eyesore on his doorstep.

"Just let me check on the children, alright mate? I’ll be right back."

He did not pause before pulling open the hatch.. For a moment he hesitated, looking back, before heading back down.

Fit could hear Philza talk, telling Chayanne and Tallulah to find Forever or Bad if anything happened, anything at all. The noise faded as he sang them to sleep, and then began to busy himself with something else.

Fit waited, and he could only hope that it paid off as Philza disappeared from the contacts list.

He waited, and waited, and then, seven minutes later, Philza returned.

He had changed in those minutes. Gone was the green and the black, but for the gemstone woven into his hair. The hat remained, its stripes now in a cold, icy blue. A matching tunic, a white and red cape hung with gold chains around his neck. It covered the great, black wings, but they - clipped as they were - sat more freely upon his back, stretching and folding themselves with ease.

And then a black mask, made of his own black feathers and woven into the long, golden hair. It formed a crow's face and beak, covering every identifying part of his face.

And around his neck hung the the Favour of Lady Death herself.

In his full regalia, not as Philza of the Hardcore worlds, nor as Death's beloved Angel, but as the ruler of an Empire which once claimed all the world.

Fit nodded to him.

Philza nodded back.

"Tell me, FitMC of 2b2t," Philza's voice dropped low, everything about him making clear the threat he posed to all’. "What do you need me to do?"

#qsmp fanfic #qsmp philza #qsmp fitmc #fanfic by op #my lore knowledge is minimal but I had an outfit idea and I ran with it #q!philza #q!fitmc

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captain039 · 1 year

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PART 6 Craving the wild side

Dean Winchester x reader

Warnings: AOB, mentions of medical things, mentions of needles, mentions of abuse, feral alphas, light swearing, angst, hurt/comfort, mental health issues, sexual things

Summary: after being rescued from a police raid feral alpha Dean Winchester his placed in the rehab process where he’s a struggled case till you come along. Having his feral ness cloud over his emotions and stop him feeling it’s hard to get through till him till dreams enter his mind and yours connecting you both and doctor/patient becomes more and harder.

Last part <-

The days at home went slow, you were exhausted, plagued by dreams you didn’t know the meaning of. By Sunday you were a walking zombie, you felt exhausted, waking up from those bliss nightmares in a sweat and not wanting to sleep again. The added people you didn’t know A Sam? His Mate? Who were they relatives of Dean? Before heading to his room you stopped by your office scanning over his relations file, he did have a brother Sam Winchester. How did you know his name before hand though? Sam was a famous man, well known for his politics and lawyer skills. You wondered if Sam knew about Dean yet?

You headed into his room saying a brief good morning before stopping in your tracks. Dean was sitting at the table head in hands, clothing actually on his body.

“Dean?” You asked and he jolted looking to you, he looked relieved as he sighed. You frowned a bit by his sudden behaviour and slowly sat down in the chair in front of him. He had his breakfast on the table, barely touched besides the orange juice and small empty medicine container.

“How are you?” You asked placing down your tablet.

“Better” he said and you nodded, it seemed odd for a man how went into a feral rage just days ago at the table and talking.

“I didn’t know if they’d let you back in” he said and you frowned.

“Back in?” You asked confused.

“After what I did to you” he gulped avoiding your eyes.

“Dean you didn’t do anything to me” you said, did he mean about the attack? He didn’t attack you.

“You didn’t attack me” you added.

“No but I touched you without permission” he said purposely keeping his head down and neck bared. You stared at the collar almost reaching out to touch it.

“Dean i touched you first I brought you to me, you didn’t do anything wrong” you said.

“Besides almost killing a guard” he muttered.

“Well, yes but- that’s why we have guards, to prevent attacks in doctors and workers” you sighed.

“Do you have the dreams?” He suddenly said before you could speak.

“Excuse me?” You asked.

“Dreams” he added.

“I have dreams yes most people do” you played off dumb, another incident and you definitely wouldn’t be able to see him again.

“No” he sighed frustrated.

“Dean please don’t get frustrated” you said.

“We’re here to talk about you, I know I talk about myself a lot when you don’t talk, but that was to make you comfortable, to know I’m just another person like you” you stated.

“Dean, do you know your brother? Sam Winchester?” You asked and he looked to you.

“Sammy?” He muttered.

“He’s alive? He’s ok?” He said rushed.

“Yeah Sam’s ok, Sams a well known lawyer” you said and Dean smiled. It was the first time seeing his happier emotions he had tears in his eyes as he laughed.

“That’s my boy” he whispered. You felt your heart flutter and stomach tighten.

“You got him to the orphanage before someone got you” you said and he nodded face loosing his smile.

“I’m the big brother” he said and you nodded.

“I make sure he’s safe, I made sure he had a normal life not what-“ he stalled gulping.

“Not what my mum did” he whispered.

“What happened Dean?” You asked and he looked to you. You thought you pushed it too far as his eyes glazed but he looked to his plate and spoke.

“My dad had gotten us into a big debt, mum knew some people, dark business people, they were looking for newly presented alphas to train, so she sold me and Sam to pay the debts, the house the cars, when I heard about it I got Sammy out, I snuck him out I fought my father, knocked him out and left my screaming mother. I thought I’d avoided it but then they found me on the road I was taken. I was a fighter at first I never did what they said, got me a lot of bearings and scars, as I got older I stopped fighting, I went into this numbness and glazed over” he spoke and you listened intently.

“Your feral state” you whispered and he nodded.

“The doctors couldn’t explain it, I was tested on, before I was deemed incurable and unwanted in the industry. Then the fighting pits came, they injected me with something made me rage on whoever was in the pit with me, the more I fought the more I won the more my feral state became violent. I was hoped between many masters, owners, used for different things till they didn’t want me or liked me. Didn’t like how I took everything they threw at me, didn’t like how I would glaze over” you glanced to his leg seeing it bouncing quickly. He fiddled with his hands and you wanted to comfort him.

“Thirty years went by” he said and your heart dropped.

“Thirty?” You muttered and he nodded.

“I was fifteen when they found me” he muttered. His files didn’t cover much, only relations, age, birthdate old stuff before he was abducted. They couldn’t get anything from the system files in the establishment, it had been wiped clean.

“I was old too old to be wanted, that shelter you found me at was my death pit” your heart tightened and you struggled with your emotions.

“They leave the unwanted to starve before tossing them out unnoticed” he shrugged. Your hand shook with your tablet pen, you were trying to take notes but you felt horrible, sick to the stomach, head spinning. Your mate had been there for thirty years in that hell hole then left to die like unwanted meat?

“Doc?” Dean asked and you nodded.

“I um-“ you struggled with breathing, you were having a panic attack. You glanced to the camera in worry, no doctor was supposed to have this reaction no matter how bad the story was, but Dean-

“Doctor?” The guard came in and called but your ears were ringing.

“Move” you heard Rowena. Dean was up trying to get to you but he was shocked down from his collar as Rowena helped you up and out. You looked back seeing Dean staring at you worried as he yelled at the guards.

You were sat down on Rowena’s office couch, she laid a blanket on you and calmed you down gently.

Once you had calmed down your brain was numb, you felt exhausted by what had happened.

“You back?” Rowena asked handing you some water which you took.

“I’m sorry” you muttered and she tsked.

“Darling don’t be sorry” she sighed.

“Dean he-“ you shuddered.

“I heard” she said and you nodded.

“Dear you can’t continue on this case” she said and you nodded again sadly.

“This bond you have with the man won’t help him get anywhere” she said and you nodded feeling tears in your eyes.

“I can’t just abandon my mate” you whispered.

“I just found him” you cried softly.

“I know, he’s not ready yet though” Rowena said and you nodded.

“I know, I know” you said wiping your eyes.

“Go home, come back tomorrow and tell him ok?” She said softly and you nodded.

“He’ll understand” she nodded.

Next part->

Tags:

@spnfamily-j2

@globetrotter28

@deans-spinster-witch

#x reader #aob #feral au #feral Dean #alpha dean #alpha dean x omega reader #Dean Winchester

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lesbianslovebts · 1 year

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When I was a young child, I had lots of meltdowns that my mom didn't understand. I would cry and cry, but I could never say what was wrong. Well, it turns out I couldn't even speak in that state, let alone explain what I was feeling. As I got older, I became more prone to shutdowns and bouts of severe depression rather than meltdowns. But now I'm in my mid-late twenties, and I've started having meltdowns again as an autistic adult. It's probably been about a year since they started up again, and I didn't know what they were at first. I wanna share what they're like for me, in case there are any other late-diagnosed autistic people who want to know more about what meltdowns look like in an adult. This is what happened 2 Saturdays ago:

I went to the store and found out they'd changed the deli section around drastically. The person who normally slices my salami wasn't there, and the new person sliced it thicker than I like. Still, as long as I had the right brand, I knew I'd be okay. But then I got home and found out my brother had his kids come over. There was abnormal debris in my path, like toys and backpacks and empty boxes for the new gates we'd had to install. That was overwhelming both visually and spatially. But I was able to heat up my regular Saturday burrito and ate it in my room. I took a nap after to recover from the grocery trip, as I usually do.

When I woke up, things started really going downhill. I stayed in my room and was trying to do things on my computer. I turned on my fan for white noise to drown out the kids, but I could still hear them squeal or cry, come up to my door and bang on it with toys, and there were other loud, unexpected bangs that made me jump in my seat, multiple times. No one had an explanation for me what those were. So, I put on my noise cancelling headphones. That worked for an hour until my ears got tired from being pressed on, so I took them off. I went out of my room to get something.

Then, I realized there were 3 additional unexpected guests over, including another child. My brother didn't tell me or my mom about this, so I froze up when I saw them. My mom pointed out that I hadn't acknowledged their greetings, but I couldn't really say anything, waved awkwardly, and moved on. I holed up in my room again and kept flinching from the noises.

Additionally, my brother, who sounds just like our abusive, alcoholic father, kept yelling at the kids. It sounded like it was right outside my door. Physical anxiety began to set in from the PTSD. Then a migraine came on. It felt like 3 nails were being hammered into my head. I took my pills and tried to sleep some more to prevent it from getting worse, but the noise was too much. I texted my mom about the migraine, desperate for her to quiet everything down, but it didn't happen.

I started breathing abnormally. I sat in my bed, rocking back and forth, unable to sleep. A couple tears fell, but I tried to stop because crying makes migraines worse. The noises didn't stop. I started pushing the heel of my palm on my head where the migraine hurt and dragged it across my skull. It would have looked like I was hitting myself. Then I started sobbing. Mouth open, gut-wrenching, screaming sobs. I tried to muffle it with my blankets, which made it harder to breathe. I coughed and gagged and blew my nose.

When I ran out of energy to sit up, I slumped against the wall, still sobbing, with my arms sticking out and tense. I dug my heels into the bed and dragged them on the mattress, kicking each leg out one after the other. By the time the meltdown ended about 30-40 minutes later, when I'd completely run out of energy, the extra guests left, and the kids were in bed. I laid in bed, exhausted, but unable to sleep. Eventually, I got out of bed to talk to my mom about what happened and what needs to change to prevent this from happening again.

I had no control over the crying, hitting, or kicking. I think frustration and anger were the most prominent emotions I felt. I was also deeply disappointed because it was my birthday weekend, and it was ruined. I still don't know what I can do, if anything, to make these meltdowns easier or shorter when they happen. I'll be working with my therapist on that. Anyway, that's what an adult autistic meltdown looked like for me.

(This is okay to reblog. I invite other adult autistics to share their experiences in the tags or comments.)

#autism #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #meltdown #autistic meltdown #llbtspost

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happysadyoyo · 2 years

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lly

@transmascrage

Yeah so I can’t reblog this post and OP has me blocked lmao. But I’ll always take the chance to shit on Whipping Girl.

I don’t know/remember the particular paragraph in question -- I’m actually only halfway through the book. But I can tell you first and foremost what OP has written here is a bullshit maneuver to make everything about trans women. Let’s break it down.

‘Transmasc erasure’ is a tool to continue othering trans women and prevent the normalizations of transness in general.

Transmasc erasure in quotes could either be “scare quotes” meaning a way to exaggerate the importance of a thing, an attempt to mock the idea of something existing, or an attempt to quote the verbage used by other people. With such a short post I’m uncertain which, though I lean towards the mocking/scaremongering version.

Transmasc erasure is used to other trans women. Once again, this post is shorter than the average tweet so it’s hard to get a lot of nuance here. On the one hand, a good faith interpretation would run along the lines of “this problem that one particular subset of trans folks face actually also hurts others as well” buuuut it’s hard to read this in such good faith, you know? Bringing in the context of the rest of the post, it feels like it should be read more like “lol you think transmasc erasure hurts you so badly well what about”isms.

Transmasc erasure prevents the normalization of transness in general. The only actual good take in this shitpost. Sadly it’s burdened down by all the bullshit.

All right, but I was tagged because Whipping Girl got brought up. So what have I learned thus far in the painful journey of reading and dissecting Serano’s work?

First, Serano is fucking transandrophobic.

She speaks at length about how trans men have an easier time transitioning because the medical gatekeeping tends to be kinder on men than women. She explicitly states in chapter seven (emphasis mine):

In 1969, Money (and coauthors) discussed the results of tests they had administered to transsexuals to measure their feminine and masculine tendencies. The authors praised trans men for giving answers that were “masculine,” but not any more “masculine” than those of the average cissexual man. At no time did the authors consider the possibility that the trans men’s unexaggerated masculine responses were made possible by the fact that most gatekeepers, being male themselves, understood that there was more than one way to be a man. In contrast, trans women were derided for having scores that were higher on the feminine range than that of the average woman.

This segment is taken from part of the book where she talks about how trans women have to perform femininity in order to transition and how support groups will share questions and answers in order to fit into the “proper” mold so they can receive HRT and other gender affirming care.

But wait a damn minute. Trans men do this too. Hell, it’s super common, not just in trans specific medical care that to be taken seriously by medical gatekeepers that you have to find other people in similar situations and learn the script. But let’s not focus on that. Just the trans men not needing to follow a script to get care.

And in case you think nonbinary and agender or gender neutral folks are left alone in Whipping Girl (emphasis again mine):

There are many different strategies that trans people may use to ease their gender dissonance. Perhaps the most common one is trying to suppress or deny one’s subconscious sex. Others may allow their subconscious sex to come to the surface occasionally, for example through either crossdressing or role-playing. Still others may come to see themselves as bigendered (having a mixture of both femininity and masculinity and/or femaleness and maleness), gender-fluid (moving freely between genders), or genderqueer (identifying outside of the male/female gender binary). And those of us who make the choice to live as the sex other than the one we were assigned at birth are commonly called transsexuals.

Yeah no, she literally, explicitly says IN CHAPTER ONE that nonbinary, genderfluid, and genderqueer identities are a result of only partially expressing one’s subconscious sex. Because that’s how she’s experienced her transness. From denying, to cross-dressing, to nonbinary to a binary trans woman. And because she experienced things a certain way, she holds this to be true throughout the rest of her book.

Whipping Girl came out in 2007. It was written in 2005. It’s outdated to say the least, even if it was any good in 2007, which I have my own feelings about (they’re negative). If there is a single paragraph about transmasc erasure in Whipping Girl that blows away my entire understanding of the book as being transandrophobic, exorsexist bilk built upon half-baked research, racism, and the personal experiences of a college-educated, middle-class white woman, then I look forward to reading it.

But sorry, right now I don’t see it.

As for the claim that transmasc erasure can be used to other trans women and trans femme aligned folks... yeah. Trans women being at the forefront of the public’s mind when it comes to transgender issues hurts trans women because they are so closely scrutinized.

Doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt trans men or masc people, and it doesn’t mean that you can throw it as some gotcha card if trans spaces are criticized for prioritizing trans women and femme people or trans men or masculine people.

Anyway tl;dr stop hiding behind Serano she’s a shitty gen trans advocate and should not be taken seriously when talking about trans masculine or nonbinary or nonwhite experiences. I wonder if this is what you were looking for Andrea?

I really hate Whipping Girl and the way it gets used to belittle trans masculine experiences. And the fact that Serano is just. aldkjf exorsexist.

#whipping girl #transandrophobia #Do you want me to talk at length about this because this is how I started making the whipping girl videos #go watch transamerica it's a good movie that serano loathes

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thechaoticfanartist · 7 months

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This is how it feels to be Grim Kennet right now: you can only watch. You can only watch as your Master - Obi-Wan Kenobi - cuts off the remaining limbs of Anakin Skywalker - of Darth Vader. You can only watch as he falls, time seeming to slow down even though it was not slow at all, instead it was all too fast and too quick that you can hardly process it. You can only watch as Anakin Skywalker lands on the black-sand shore of the lava river bank, and you can only watch as he gets too close that his robes catch on fire.

You have seen all of these things before, countless times. You have seen all of this in a movie, your favorite movie - not anymore. Now this very moment was real, as every moment always has been ever since you arrived in this universe. You can only watch, frozen in your place beside your Master, as if it was all still a movie.

Except the movie never captured the other details, it never captured the smell of burning flesh, or of the smoke that threatens to suffocate you just as it will your brother. It does not capture the feeling of being so close to the lava that you may as well be on fire yourself, and it certainly does not capture the pain - not the physical pain at least.

You can barely hear Obi-Wan as he shouts at Anakin. Your brain pounds against your skull in sync with your heartbeat. You only know what Obi-Wan was saying because you have heard it all before, every single word of it. From when this was fiction. This is not fiction.

Somehow, you find your voice. “You were a Jedi! You were supposed to help the galaxy not burn it to ashes! I thought we were the same! I thought we both wanted to save people! Killing our family isn’t saving people!”

You did not fully realize how much you saw yourself in Anakin until that moment. You suddenly hate yourself for it, and him. If he could be this evil, then did that mean you could be as well? And, conversely, if you could still stand here at Obi-Wan’s side, did that mean he could have too?

“I hate you!” He roars.

The words hurt more in real life. You find yourself speaking at the same time as Obi-Wan, “you were my brother Anakin! I loved you!”

This was true. You did love him, once, but not anymore. The man that you loved, the man you had seen as a brother was already dead, and likely was before you ever knew him. That, too, hurts.

“But even now I will not save you,” you end up adding.

You don’t remember moving, you don’t remember kneeling down onto the sand just before him, but somehow, you have. You are staring down at his face, the face of the man who has taken everything from you. You have no pity for him, only a deep dark anger that has crawled itself inside of your heart. The kind of anger that any Jedi would warn you about, the very anger both Obi-Wan and Yoda had warned you about before you embarked on this quest, an anger that for the rest of your life you will only ever say was grief.

“Once I may have saved you from this fate, I would have thought you undeserving of this pain, but even I see now that the crimes you have committed are unforgivable. You have slaughtered our family and built a palace on our ashes. I once said if presented with the chance to save a life I would take it. I am now presented with that chance, but I shall not take it.” You do not know why you tell him these things. He does not know about the promise you made to the Jedi Council all those years ago, he never would, but you tell him here anyways.

“You have destroyed us all, Lord Vader, I hope you’re happy.” You stand, and as you stand you stare at him for another moment longer.

You had come here to kill him, you still could, but now, inexplicably, you do not want to kill him. It is not any sort of pity, or compassion, or a single shard of kindness that would be more befitting of a Jedi that prevents you from killing him. If anything, killing him now would be a mercy for far more than just him. Rather, what prevents you from killing him is an empty spot in your heart where your care for the man used to lay, no, you want Anakin Skywalker to suffer. You want him to live, because you know that the rest of his life will be torture, he will spend the rest of his days in endless agony.

To you, this man deserves no less.

You walk back to Obi-Wan, and you leave Darth Vader behind.

To admit that you left him to live, in order for him to suffer, is to admit to the darkness inside your heart, the same darkness that just consumed your brother. Thus, you will admit no such thing. Instead you tell yourself: Anakin Skywalker is dead, you and Obi-Wan killed him.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed) : @padme--amygdala @soclonely @mrfandomwars @jgvfhl @starlonkedd @shinhatigf @togrutanduin @jedi-valjean @one-real-imonkey @traygaming @aiylasdrawings @keoxus @dykerebel @veiled-in-stars @sentineljedi @spicysucculentz @amelia-song-pond @it-was-rose @saturnsokas @thejediprincessqueenofnaboo @veradragonjedi @arrthurpendragon @shrinkthisviolet

#grim kennet #star wars #my oc #star wars oc #jedi oc #my writing #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #grim and anakin #grim and obi wan #grim & obi wan & anakin #grim & anakin & obi wan #tcwganv spoilers #kind of? i've shared this scene countless times #anyway suffer with me #also if you can't tell this was inspired by the rots novel

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ltbarnes · 1 year

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Resurrection Chapter 5

Summary: Bucky Barnes was only nineteen when the lives of his parents and little sister were taken right in front of him by the ruthless members of the Odinson mob. His father’s mistakes have turned Bucky into a vengeful and cold shell of the charming boy he once was, now deeply rooted in the criminal lifestyle of the Stark mafia. Sudden attacks ignite the conflict between the two forces of the city, refueling the rivalry that has been rather tame for years. Nine years since Bucky’s life fell apart, he finds it shattering once more when what was supposed to be long dead returns to the living.

Pairing: brother!mafia!Bucky Barnes x adopted!sister!reader, mafia!Thor Odinson x reader, mafia!Loki Odinson x reader, eventual Steve Rogers x reader

Word count: 4.1k

Warnings: irritated men in traffic, Bucky is absolutely devastated, guns, people being shot, violence

A/N: it’s been a while since I updated this lol

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"Fuck!"

Sam slams his hand against the horn for the third time since they left the old factory. He knows it's not helping anything, because this traffic jam is not dissolving anytime soon. It's just frustration being let out in a way that doesn't involve hurting people.

Forty minutes—that's how long they've been crawling forward in the midst of hundreds of cars driving. Both his and T'Challa's phones are dead and they are four hours away from where they want to be.

"The clouds are dark. It will be storming soon," T'Challa speaks up, elbow leaning against the window and his chin leaning against his palm.

"No shit, Sherlock. They've been warning about this fucking storm for a week."

"No need for that kind of language, Wilson. We are both frustrated, I am aware," he answers. "I also know that we have to let the others know about what we heard."

"Bucky and Stark are probably on their way to murder all of 'em already. But I can't say I blame them."

"It would be a waste of life. The Odinsons weren't the one to sabotage for us. And if I might say—Thor and Loki are both respectful towards the young girl. Treat her like a sister."

"Yeah, and we didn't blow up a goddamn garage either. Someone is setting both of us up."

Large raindrops begin to splatter down onto the windshield, slowly, until they fall so rapidly nothing can be seen through it. Sam sighs in defeat, slumping in his seat. They're not getting anywhere soon, and bad things are going to happen because of it.

It's crucial that they know about the Odinsons and their innocence, at least in this case. No one is denying that they are morally disturbed people and that they have sabotaged millions of dollars worth of property for the Starks, but this warehouse wasn't blown up by them. And the Starks had nothing to do with their destroyed garage.

Someone is trying to cause conflict between the two clans, start the war that has been brewing for a long time. But quite frankly, Stark has made it perfectly clear that he has no interest in a thing like that. But ultimately, soon it might get to a point where it's inevitable. This information could prevent a hell of a lot of people dying in unnecessary battle.

"Do you think it's those guys—what was their name again? The ones who had Bucky?" Sam asks, resting his hand on the wheel while pressing the back of his head against the seat.

"Hydra? Well, yes, I believe so. It would be the most plausible option," T'Challa answers, eyes set on the never ending queue in front of them.

Unfortunately, they are completely jammed in. Cars surround them from all sides. Sam has a thought or two of ripping someone's car door open and stealing their phone so he can call someone back home. T'Challa would have him face down on the wet asphalt before he could do anything like it, though.

He thinks about Bucky. That goddamn misery on his face, the excruciating realization that someone he thought was dead for a decade has suddenly turned up as if she was never gone. Even through all of the shit they give each other, Bucky is his friend. Shit like this—it's a pain he could never even imagine. If Sam's big sister was shot right in front of him and held captive for this many years, he would burn down the entire world to get her back. He understand that more than anyone.

And god, he barely wants to think about what you could have been put through during all of these years. These big men getting their hands on a little girl associated with the enemy. It's nauseating. But you looked comfortable—joked with these men as if they were your siblings.

Deep down, Sam has a feeling that they actually took care of you, kept you away from harm and shown you the kindness that a young girl deserves. You looked safe from harm and healthy, comfortable enough to talk about personal issues with three grown men. But despite if this is the true version, it could never justify shooting and kidnapping a goddamn child. Their bullets tore through your mother, their hands put your father's body in the river. Their men made you almost bleed out right in front of your brother. That kind of shit isn't just forgiven, even in the world Sam lives in. Especially not in the world Sam lives in.

Yeah, Sam is fucking pissed off on that entire system of assholes both for his own and Bucky's sake. But they sure didn't blow up that Stark warehouse. If he's right, both the Odinsons and the Starks have a much larger enemy to defeat than each other. Hydra is back, and they might be more dangerous than they previously thought.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

It's chaos at the compound.

Bucky and Natasha arrived to the news of Rhodes being shot while out taking a fucking walk. They came with the gift of his little sister being alive and captured by the Odinsons. Daring to say that the two of them didn't really hear anything because Bucky had a panic attack before they found anything out is not in his blood. Instead, the excuse of these news being urgent is explanation enough for Stark. Besides, Sam and T'Challa will be here soon.

These feelings are dangerous, he knows. The ones where he can barely see anything through the blind rage. His limbs are restless, longing for a windpipe to crush underneath the strength of his hand. He always does something reckless to jeapordize the mission whenever he feels like this.

He's still standing in the lobby, watching all the people run back and forth, up and down the stairs. Shoulders bump into his side, sending him stumbling while blinking furiously. What was he supposed to do now again?

The rage quickly manifests into tears. Slipping down slowly on his cheeks, falling to the shiny floor with a quiet drop. Bucky is overwhelmed by it all and doesn't know what to do except stand there surrounded by the people who can take action in a time of distress.

"Hey, come with me," a soft voice whispers with a hand to his shoulder. He doesn't even flinch, bring out the aversion to touch his body so naturally has developed through the years.

Thinking too much about wether or not to follow the orders is beyond him, and he follows along with the gentle guidance of Natasha until the large lobby becomes a smaller kitchen. Away from the bustling and running, the people.

A chair is pulled out, placed underneath Bucky with her hand pushing him down to a seat. It's ridiculously rare that Natasha shows this level of care and attention with him. They have a relationship of pushing each other into walls while walking and shutting the fuck up unless they have something important to say. Part of why he likes her—she doesn't expect anything from him.

"Hey, hey. It's okay, you know? You are allowed to cry. You're allowed to be angry and want to cut them up to fucking pieces for what they have done to you," she says, standing in front of him with a hand on his shoulder, looking up through her lashes. "We will get revenge. But you have to get yourself together first. We'll go tonight so you'll have a few hours to sort through things."

"Y/n is..." Bucky's gaze is unfocused, blue eyes clouded by confusion and unshed tears. "My sister—"

"Y/n is fine right now. We will get her back. I swear to you on Yelena's fucking vest that I will do everything in my power to get that girl back to you safe."

Bucky blinks away the haze until his lips manage to quirk up just slightly. He knows how serious it is when Yelena's vest comes into question. Nat's sister would throw herself into fire if it meant getting her vest back unscathed.

"I just—I think I need to be alone," he whispers, swallowing the onslaught of tears wanting to claw their way out of him.

"Yeah, okay. Of course. I'll talk to the guys and fill them in, get a few of them ready to come with us. Need to track the bastards down too."

Bucky nods, wiping underneath his nose with the sleeve of his jacket. He hasn't even thought of the fact that they don't know where you and the Odinsons are.

Natasha leaves the room after a single pat to his shoulder. One that's rid of sentimentality but shows she cares nonetheless. Bucky is glad that he at least have someone to be rational for him in these moments, because he's entirely and completely lost.

He doesn't really know how to feel. About four hours have passed since he saw your face again. It's a constant battle of anger and resentment against elation, interrupted by these horrible waves of simple sadness. He's just sad.

Bucky missed so many years of your life because of those people. He could have taken care of you—bought the two of you a small house somewhere outside of the city and maybe get a dog for you to play with. Take you to dance recitals and help you with math tests and yell at you for sneaking out to be with your friends. Things a big brother to someone with no parents left should do for his little sister. Instead he has wasted five years being reckless in the military and one year in captivity, just to spend another three years being reckless in a fucking mob. Countless people have died under his hand, triple the amount tortured and threatened. You would be so disappointed to know what he has been up to—your Jamie (he always acted like he hated that nickname) that you looked up to so much has gone ahead and ruined his own fucking life.

And his mom—he prays that there isn't a heaven where she's looking down at him if only it could save her from knowing what he's done. Her little baby girl shot, kidnapped and held captive for almost half of her life. Her only son throwing away all that potential in the aftermaths of his grief. When it comes to what his father thinks of him, he's never cared particularly much. Bucky knew George was a scumbag since he was a little boy and were much happier whenever his dad wasn't around. He made it his mission to protect you and his ma from the unsteady temper of Mr. Barnes already as a twelve-year old.

But would he care? George was never happy about his wife's wish for another child, prolonged for so many years that she grew too old for another one biologically. After a year of persuasion he caved in and let his wife take in a parent-less baby that desperately needed someone to take care of her. It wasn't enough that George didn't want another kid to begin with—he loathed the idea of a daughter.

His aversion towards you was clear from the beginning, but Bucky still wonders if he would have cared that you've been kidnapped for so long by the enemy if he was still alive. Maybe to keep up appearances, he would grieve publicly. But any effort to retrieve you behind the scenes would be half-assed at most. He was a coward, and daring to cross the Odinsons would be too much for him. Bucky doesn't know all this for sure, but it makes him hate his dead father even more. He hopes you didn't feel the absence of his father's love, that the affection he and your mother showed was enough to make up for it.

The kitchen chair he sits on is uncomfortable. Expensive designer furniture or not, Tony has a horrible knack for choosing style over comfort. It makes Bucky mad. And then it reminds him that some people like the uncomfortable. Steve, for example. That punk has been throwing himself at fists and boots to the stomach ever since he was a kid. But Steve is his best friend and god, he should really call him. Steve should know about you. He has been Bucky's rock through all of it—he was there when it happened, for god's sake.

Yes, Steve has a right to know about your being alive and all that. But that does not make Bucky pick up the phone and call the guy. Speaking it out loud like this, to someone on the outside of it all, feels too real. It solidifies the fact that he has failed you spectacularly for nearly a decade and Steve is going to know that. He might not ever say it, but he is going to be disappointed and angry with Bucky for never trying harder to find your body.

So no, today might not be the right time. He is going to get you back tonight, settle himself down into the reality of your return and then he will tell Steve. No excuses.

Almost an hour passes by before someone else enters the kitchen to the sight of him having his head leaning against the palms of his hands, elbows planted on the marble kitchen island, staring into the intricate pattern of the stone counter. The clock strikes 16:55 as Bucky raises his gaze for just a second to check whoever's bothering his peace.

"Hi, uh, hello—Bucky. Mr. Barnes," Peter stutters as he moves slowly towards the refrigerator.

Parker is a relatively new recruit. Mostly assists Stark with a bunch of bullshit tasks, but that's how you prove yourself loyal. And despite the impossibility of it, the boss seems to have a soft spot for this kid. He's what? 20, 21? It's the youngest they have in the immediate circle.

"I heard about your sister. I'm sorry about that. Hope—I really hope you get her back. Safe," he continues, eyes everywhere but on the stone-faced Bucky. "Actually, Mr. Stark said I might get to drive everyone to the restaurant. Be the getaway driver, you know?"

"Restaurant?"

Bucky perks up from his slumped figure, now entirely focused on the flushed kid with his hand around the fridge handle. Might rip it off soon if he doesn't relax—he's much too nervous around everyone to appear tough.

"Uh, yeah—apparently they're going to be at some restaurant at like, seven. Snowflake, or Frosty or something like that. Never heard of it."

The chair scrapes against the floor as Bucky pushes away from the counter. Not a glance, a goodbye, or a thank you even, comes from his mouth before he barges out of the kitchen.

He bumps into Pietro on his way up the stairs, a mumbled 'sorry' from his lips as the silver-haired man follows his hasty figure with a curious stare. The news have spread around the house by now, but Natasha threatened everyone with a good beating if they bothered Bucky. Those instructions did not reach Peter.

The Bifrost. Surely that must've been the restaurant the kid was talking about. A popular one, but if people in this city knew who it actually belonged to their costumers would scatter. Now that he knows where you're going to be he has a hard time restraining himself from jumping into the car and driving away with only a handgun and two knives to accompany him. But he knows Natasha was right.

Voices and laughter sound from the medical room down the hall. Rhodey seems to have drawn half of the people in this house to him, seeing as some even stand in the hallway due to lack of space. Surely he can't already be awake.

It grows quiet as Bucky pushes himself forward, earning an offended scoff from Yelena as she trips over her own feet. Bucky steadies her with his arm without even sparing her a glance.

To his surprise, Rhodes lies awake, though groggy, hooked up to a heart monitor and IV. He looks fucking exhausted, but there's still a smile to his face.

"You doing alright?" Bucky mumbles, casting a stoic glance around the people surrounding him. It's clear he's the elephant in the room, despite the half-dead man at the center of it.

"Never better," Rhodey answers with a thumb's up. Looped up, that's for sure.

Bucky gives a single nod in answer, crossing his arms over his chest. He may act all unbothered, stoic even, but he's glad Rhodes is okay. He's been a good man to him so far, smart, rational. They need him on this team, mostly to keep Tony grounded.

"Good. Good," he whispers before gulping, glancing down to the floor.

He can almost feel the sympathetic looks everyone gives him. Bucky hates it, but somewhere he knows it's because they care.

"Right. We should get back to business," Nat says, nodding towards the door. "Need to know which ones are coming with tonight. Thinking we'll go through it now."

Several people shuffle out of the sterile room into the dark hallway, leaving Tony, Pepper and Happy left with Rhodes. The latter probably won't notice the sudden clearing of space with how much morphine he's on.

Red hair leads the way towards a meeting room on the other side of the upper level. An oversized table stretches out from wall to wall lined with bookshelves of unread books, surrounded by thirty ridiculously expensive oak chairs. Tony made it a point to explain how much he sacrifices for everyone's best, when everyone knows he just likes to splurge.

Bucky nearly, almost, feels emotional when he sees how many sit themselves down to help him rescue his sister. A person they don't even know, simply because of how much you mean to him.

Yelena, Nat, Pietro, Wanda, Coulson, Shuri, Vision, Marc, Maria, Brock. All these people care enough about Bucky to care about you. He knows Sam and T'Challa would be here too if they weren't so goddamn slow. Bird-brain probably stopped for some fucking iced coffee and got stuck in a Target. Apparently haven't answered any of Nat's texts or calls either. Better be goddamn alive.

Okoye and Carol are out trying to figure out who the hell shot one of their own. Bucky feels bad that he's taking away manpower from that, even though he simultaneously wants to gather every damn person in the world willing to fight for his sister. This is the most important thing for Bucky, ever.

"So, Bifrost, huh? Gonna be easy to get in. Never have much security," Shuri says as soon as everyone's seated.

"We don't know that. My source tells me the whole inner circle's going tonight," Nat answers. "We have to gear up either way. Be prepared."

Bucky soon zones out, only listening when any mention of an actual plan comes up. The image of your arms wrapped around yourself, tears wetting your cheeks, displays at the forefront of his mind in a constant loop. That you might've had that expression every day destroys him. This life that he leads—if he knew you were alive he would have kept you as far away from it as possible. It's not something you should grow up with. He and his ma shielded you from a lot when you were a child, to the point where you didn't even have a clue about what your father did.

All of that effort seems pretty pointless now, when you've grown up in an environment even worse. Hell, Bucky can't offer you much better. But at least you will be loved. Protected. God, Bucky would spend the rest of his life by your side if you needed him to. Maybe he could convince Tony to get you into some prestigeful university so you could get a good education and make something of yourself. Take you and Steve to Coney Island on the weekends.

"Yes, yes. Natasha, you have gone over this three times. We understand," Shuri says, interrupting his deep train of thought with her irritated exclamation. She hasn't really inherited the near royal politeness her brother possesses. "Now, where the hell is my brother? Four hours late."

"That голубь probably crashed the car, I swear," Yelena says, an amused grin playing on her lips.

"It's a rainstorm outside and 5 pm traffic. They're probably just stuck. Phone battery dead," Nat says. "They'll be back soon."

"I suppose we are to get ready soon if we are leaving in twenty minutes." Vision leans forward in his seat, searching for Nat's eye contact. She answers with a nod, pushing her chair out from the table.

"Coulson and Hill, you go fetch the kid and make him warm up the cars. Visit the arsenal while you're at it, too."

"Yes, ma'am," Coulson says with that familiar content smile on his lips.

People start to trickle out, cleaning their knives and stretching their limbs in preparation. Things could be easier than expected or end up in straight war, but they throw themselves at the opportunity anyway. This is family, by now.

"I'll go with Hill and Coulson," Brock speaks up for the first time during the meeting with a few fingers raised nonchalantly, as if he's asking a question in the classroom.

Bucky has to resist from rolling his eyes. He's never really gone along well with Rumlow. Sure, everyone in this damn mansion has a predisposition for violence but that man just thrives in it. Always smiles a little too much while plunging a knife into someone's neck. Narcissistic bastard, as well. Of course he wants to handle the weapons. Probably just coming along for the opportunity to shoot an Odinson in the head.

"Why are you telling me?" Nat answers with a glare. "Just go."

When it's just him and her left in the room, a quietness falls over the space that is suffocating him. He's anxious beyond compare. What if they don't succeed? If you're left there while your only potential rescuers get shot to death or captured themselves? Things can't go wrong tonight.

"You gonna be okay?" Nat asks from where she's sitting on the other side of the table. "If you think it's too much, we can do it without y—"

"No. Not a chance in hell," he seethes. "I'm going to get my sister back."

"Well, okay then. Let's go."

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

It's 7:30 PM when three sleek, black cars pull up outside of the coveted, Odinson-owned restaurant. The windscreens are dark enough for the security guards standing in the entrance to not see through. When they do see, it's too late to send warnings inside to their bosses.

Bloody knuckles and knocked out men instead lie just outside of the lavish doors, courtesy of one Brock Rumlow with the assistance of Marc Spector. Yelena whines about them not leaving anyone left for her. Natasha scolds her for the lack of patience. Bucky just stares through the darkened glass doors while bringing out his gun.

These are the last moments of his life where he can still wonder about what having you in his life again will be. In an hour he will either be dead or you will sit next to him in a car. You might not recognize him, might be scared, might hate him for leaving you here all these years. But goddamn it, if he isn't going to give it his all to get the both of you out of this restaurant alive.

A firm hand lands on his shoulder, squeezing in silent affirmation. Bucky's act of indifference is fooling no one. Not even the kid who drove the car all the way here.

"It'll be alright," Vision says.

And Bucky nods, because even if his fear tells him otherwise he knows you will no longer be stuck. In his very bones.

Maria pushes forward after Pietro gives her the okay—he's surveyed the perimeters. Everyone is gathered inside. She turns her head over her shoulder, hands grasped around her gun. The sound of weapons being loaded reminds Bucky of a falling domino.

"Alright, guys. Enter in three, two, one..."

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

CHAPTER 6

#marvel fanfiction #marvel fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fluff #bucky barnes x female reader #resurrection #thor odinson x reader #loki x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #mafia!bucky

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buckysswinter · 2 years

Text

the way i loved you

18+ minors dni

warnings: angst, carter being an asshole, oral (f receiving), power play, daddy kink, pet name, degradation kink, reader moving on

not edited or beta'd- do not repost or translate!

playboy!carter baizen x f!reader, nate archibald x f!reader

word count: 2,588

part two of cruel summer

'cause i'm not feeling anything at all; and you were wild and crazy; just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated

she had gotten the invite in her mailbox months ago, in fancy cursive letters to be a plus one for the one and only nate archibald. though she wasn't sure why nate had asked her and she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to go after the incident with carter baizen. she had sworn off high society since then but nate archibald was different, he was respectful and nice- unlike carter. he had come up to y/n when she was in the upper east side,

-"hey y/n i heard from carter that you had moved away what are you doing back here?" she was surprised he had known her name, so smiled at him politely and replied.

-"oh yeah uh, just coming back for the weekend to deal with some stuff then back to london i go." y/n had saved up enough money from working to move to london, there she was promised a job which would certainly keep her occupied- besides there was no one in new york holding her back from moving anyways, now that carter had broken her heart.

-"london. what a beautiful choice, well i hope you enjoy london and i was hoping that you could do me a favor?" she knew him speaking to her meant he needed something, they always do and in return she nodded at him.

-"you see those paparazzi's behind that restaurant?," she nodded "i need you to pretend that you're happy to see me, like you're my girlfriend, please" nate pleaded with kindness and who was she to refuse that, so she put her best smile on and acted her ass off.

she knew trouble would ensue after that, well because, the articles and tabloids that were associated with those pictures haunted her. she was labeled as nate's new girlfriend or plaything- which she didn't mind because she wasn't in new york anymore, so they couldn't reach her but that meant nate messaging her to let her know that he needed a date to the prestigious cotillion ball for the debutantes. and she knows she should have told him she couldn't go due to work but knowing him, he would pull all the strings so she could go- maybe she was nervous because she didn't want to see the person who hurt her so much, carter. she still wasn't over him, after all it's only been a few months, yet he seemed to forget about her already- photographed with different girls at all times and such. it stung but she knew that if she held onto that heartbreak then it would prevent her from moving on. every now and then y/n has to remind herself the pain carter baizen caused her- tossed her to the side as if she was merely a flesh thing with no feelings and she knew she deserved more than that. so maybe her accepting the invite is also a payback to him, to show him what he lost.

when she landed at new york she expected people to forget who she was after all it's been months since she left new york, since she was photographed with nate yet there was a brigade of paparazzi waiting for her, with their cameras shoved up her face. the anxiety started bubbling, her breathe getting stuck to her throat, this was never the life she wanted and if she really wanted, y/n could turn around and fly back to london-where life is normal. y/n took a deep breath and started making her way to the car, door opened for her and bodyguards holding the paparazzis far from her.

-"courtesy of mr. archibald miss," one of the bodyguards whispered and of course it was, nate archibald was as charming as they come. she thanked both of the bodyguards for not only driving her to her fancy hotel that nate provided but also for protecting her against the paparazzi.

y/n sighed, it's been a few hectic days since she landed back to new york city- her time mostly being spent photographed and trailed. it felt weird getting this much attention for simply being seen with the nate archibald once, yet he was never ashamed of her unlike carter. she really needed to stop comparing him to carter because nate was nice and caring unlike carter who was ruthless. nate also asked for her help and that might be why he was so nice but he set up all the accommodations for her to be back here, a chance to see her parents after she left all those months ago and also paying for everything she would purchase while she's here. she's never felt more cared for and she felt bad when she found out what nate had done,

-"nate you didn't need to pay for my fare or my accommodations i hope you're aware of that, i have some of my money in hand." nate tsked at her statement,

-"y/n i asked you to come here as my date, i have made your life a whirlwind, it's the least i could do." and the conversation was left at that with no room for arguing.

nate had offered for y/n to go to the same dress boutique as everyone in the cotillion did however, she felt uncomfortable surrounded with people she didn't know and what she was truly afraid of was running into blair waldorf. blair wouldn't notice her, she was not someone who was truly breathtaking and she had nothing against blair yet every time she was reminded of blair, she was reminded of carter and that night where she stupidly confessed her love for him- and all he did was give her a pity scoff. so y/n refused nate's offer and went to look for a dress somewhere else which she needed to worry if it was to the other's standard even though nate assured her she could were whatever she liked.

arriving to cotillion felt like walking to a red carpet event, a bunch of paparazzis waiting to see the gowns chosen by this year's debutants- y/n felt special, she wasn't a debutant, she was here ot support nate. her sage green gown dragged on the floor as she prepares to walk down the stairs. her eyes kept on nate until she heard shuffling coming from the left side of the room and then he appeared. it seemed as everything stopped as their eyes locked, y/n's throat tightened and she stumbled a bit. she was the one who looked away, to break the intimate eye contact between them.

carter cleared his throat then apologized for his tardiness when he took blair waldorf's opposite- she should've known carter would be blair's date, after all he had humiliated her feelings that one summer night to replace her with blair. as spiteful as she was y/n didn't feel pain anymore but shame, shame that she let herself love a man like carter baizen. she felt shame all over her body that she let carter baizen treat her so horribly justifying that it was all in the name of love- she let carter possess her body in ways she can't describe because she was so enamored with him. she acted insane in the name of love all because of carter baizen.

as the quartet played the music and the switching of partners came, her breath hitched as soon as she was paired up with carter. he had a sly smile on his face,

-"thought i'd never see you here again kitten," the nickname she once adored felt like venom poisoning her ears then her entire being.

-"you know that's not my name carter. also why wouldn't i be? after all nate archibald invited me," the mention of nate's name seemed to shake him up.

-"nate? you know i could never treat you like i did kitten. i know all the spots, all the actions to make you go stupid and confess your love to me" his mockery felt like fire to her heart, burning the walls she built around it and crushing her heart again, this made her falter a step, crushing carter's foot. then, y/n pushed carter away and ran to the bathroom. looking behind no one had seemed to pay attention to the commotion she created, good.

the fabric of her gown is suddenly irritating her- the slight sensory detail sending her into a panic attack, then the thoughts of what carter said caught up to her. carter baizen mocked her for loving him- all she wanted to do was show him love, a love so intense that she looked past all the times where he threw her aside, times where it felt like she didn't matter until he wanted someone to fuck. so maybe it wasn't love at all the she was feeling for him and she knew that she shouldn't have fallen in love with him, but his charming smile and witty personality pushed her there. she can't even begin to mention how he reacts when she gets close to someone- she had mistaken that for love, the possessiveness he held for her, it was just that and not love. the doubts started coming in her mind, how could she be so stupid to show up here and not expect carter baizen to push her into a state of mental panic?

the slamming of the door caught y/n's attention and as she was about to look up, someone's lips were on hers. y/n's eyes widen as she realizes who it was, she immediately shoves carter off of her.

-"what the fuck is wrong with you carter? you can't just barge in here and kiss me" the anger within her is now projecting onto her voice, who did carter think he was to come onto her like that?

-"nothing's wrong with me kitten. what's wrong is that you came here with the wrong man. come back to me kitten," carter sounded sincere for once in his life, his eyes pleading yet y/n didn't feel sorry for him. he chose to leave her, she threw herself at him and he still decided that she wasn't enough- for him anyways. she decided to play carter's little game the only way she knew how,

-"ok carter, i'll give you one more chance if you drop down to your knees and plead" carter took a second to process what she was asking for, she saw it in his eyes- yet he dropped down, hands together and ready to speak

-"ah ah ah, i didn't ask you to speak yet carter, never asked you to plead with words- plead with your mouth, your tongue daddy" she threw in the pet name to rile him up- there was fire in his eyes after she said that. good, he's reeled in, just enough to make it hurt.

carter smirked up at her, kissing up her smooth legs, dragging his teeth at the side of it. the sight made y/n wet her already drenched thong, she lifted up her dress a bit and carter groaned. never had she thought she'd miss him, yet there they were in the bathroom of a party that she came with someone else with.

carter got to her inner thigh and bit her, it made her yelp-

"you like that kitten? huh?" she merely nodded at his question. y/n sat down on the bathroom counter, opening her legs wider for carter.

-"i asked you a question kitten, do you like it? use your words" the authority in his voice made her shiver.

-"yes daddy, i do please keep going," she didn't know when carter had taken control back but after all this y/n knows that she'll come back on top.

carter lifted her dress up, seeing the wet patch on her thong. he took his teeth and dragged her thong down to her ankles, now he faced her glistening folds,

-"such a pretty pussy kitten, i've missed it" saying carter had missed a part of her body ignited something within her, not butterflies but anger- carter only saw her as someone to fuck and she should have seen it earlier, back when she fell hard for him.

-"i've missed you too daddy," y/n gritted her teeth through her lie, she needed to build him up just to tear him down, just like he did to her.

he put her legs on his shoulders, smelling her sweet scent- his warm wet tongue licking her up. the slow teasing pace made her impatient yet she knew that if she did anything too soon she wouldn't be able to get her revenge on him- so she waited.

-"tastes so good kitten, always does, i can eat you forever," all y/n could do was let out a moan, you better enjoy it carter baizen because this will be the last time.

as carter took her clit in his warm mouth, sucking on it, y/n felt her orgasm coming close,

-"daddy please i'm so close, pleasepleaseplease," she pleaded with him and carter shook his head, with her clit on his mouth which made the feeling come faster,

-"not yet kitten, you don't get to come until i say so," now that she was close to getting her reward she didn't care anymore.

as he put his tongue back on her, y/n trapped carter with her legs and grabbed his hair, grinding her hips to his tongue. she thought carter would have retaliated but he continued to move his tongue against her, even taking two of his fingers and thrusting it in her. the white bliss approached her as carter hit the spongy spot within her. y/n let go as he sucked her clit one last time.

-"damn kitten, i don't know whether to be upset or happy- you taking control was so damn hot," carter tried to come up from his knees to kiss her and y/n took her legs off his shoulders just to push him back down with her hands.

-"nuh uh carter, i didn't say you could get up," the teasing manner in her voice evident, she stooped down to kiss him fiercely which he accepted. she pulled back looking at his eyes before she took one hand off his shoulder to rise it up and then slap.

carter was surprised by the action and y/n smirked at him,

-"never fucking come near me again carter baizen. i don't ever wanna see you," she said it with the utmost sincerity.

carter chuckled,

-"you're just sayin' that cause i broke your heart kitten, come back to me, i'll love you," it was almost as if he was taunting her, and another slap.

-"i fucking mean it carter, i can find men that treat me better than you- for example, nate archibald. he does the right things, says the right things and treats me right- not once did you do any of those just to do it, there always had to be something in return. and the way you made me feel was insane, i felt insane when i was with you, when you were playing me but with nate it's almost as if i can feel peace itself." she looked carter in the eyes and stood up,

-"if you were a better man carter baizen i could have loved you for eternity." and with that she fixed her dress and left him kneeling in the bathroom.

a/n: this was rushed but... carter doesn't get the girl bc he's an asshole!

shameless tags: @extremelyblackandwhite @turbolisedcomet @tharros-auris-black-asimi @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @blackwood-bodecker-housewife

#sebastian stan #bucky x reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky x female reader #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan x you #bucky barnes #carter baizen #carter baizen x you #carter baizen x reader

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juniperhillpatient · 6 months

Note

How’s it going @juniperhillpatient ?

So I watched the two most recent scream movies for the first time this weak. Starting on Friday night and finishing on Saturday morning. They were entertaining, see I’ve only ever watched the original first one years ago but the connections between the films were interesting.

To get to the question, I recall that one of your Azutara AU ideas is a Scream fic ( along with the IT Au). In it I think one of your post in the past stated that Azula would be (slightly) based on Sam? If so, would that then make Ozai Billy Loomis? If so, I’ve got to say depicting Ozai as a deranged murder would be oddly appropriate. What with the emotional and physical abuse of both his spouse and his kids, along with the attempted genocide and all.

Oh! I also greatly enjoyed todays (well yesterdays) chapter in Happenstance. I’ve got to say though, I’m with Azula, Katara not turning in Hama is a very… injudicious decision. What happens when Hama decides to no longer go after corrupt officials like she did in chapter (one of whom has a family!) and she decides to go after innocent people (as she did in canon). What if Hama decides to escalate from just hostage taking? What if lives of innocents, of children even are lost her quest? That’s starts of with noble intentions, but become corrupted. Becoming in reality just hate of Fire Nations under the façade of environmentalism? Are Katara/Yue/Jet prepared for that possibility?

Or would Jet, Katara, and Yue not care cause those innocent people are Fire Nation? Naw just using rhetoric for Katara and Yue. They obviously would care. But Jet? Him I’m not 100% sure about.

It would have been better to get rid of threat (Hama) earlier on by turning her over. Than again, some police can be corrupt (though I use the world loosely) so maybe they were also right not to turn her over?

It’s a bit of a head scratcher, ain’t it. Which is awesome by the way. It’s fun reading these little moral quandaries and philosophical question in a sitcom fic. Questions like, is it okay to harm others we deem immoral to bring about ends that we believe to be an objective good? Can intrinsic good come from an extrinsic evil? Essentially, does the ends justify the means? And how far is too far? Happenstance is great in that and In all ways! Especially horror, romance (it’s Azutara so that’s a given 😉) and comedy.

Thank you for indulging my ramblings. I hope everything is well on your end. I recall a post from earlier speaking about your cat preventing you from cashing a check at your bank. Your bank decided to come to you right? To give a house call as it were? It’s the polite thing to do after all.

745 voice of the people

Hello! It could be going better. I am suffering because I’ve been sick on & off for like a fucking month & it’s starting to feel like God hates me 🥲 However, it could also be going worse. My mommy gave me money for groceries even though I told her not to because she is the best & she knows how much work I’ve missed due to illness so I have lots of good food & also hot chocolate with marshmallows 💜🙏

Anyway I am sure you didn’t expect that TMI when you asked how it’s going but I’m a dramatic rambly bitch 😌 I hope you are doing good yourself 💜

I am so happy you watched the new Scream movies 🍿 Most iconic series of all time honestly. Yes, Ozai would be a version of Billy Loomis in this AU! However, keep in mind this is all just ideas & not a real project in the works just yet 😉

Anyway I don’t have too too much to add to your analysis on the moral dilemma from last week’s Happenstance because I want to purposefully leave it open. I like posing these quandaries without creating a firm resolution just like there wouldn’t necessarily be in real life sometimes! Of course - Hama may just show up again. We will see!

I will say - Katara & Yue would definitely feel guilty if someone innocent got hurt because of their choice not to turn Hama in. Also, even though Jet hates the Fire Nation, he is dating Zuko & friends with several Fire Nation characters by now including pretty much best friends with Azula. So…. Could he really justify it if innocent Fire Nation civilians got hurt at this stage of the story? Tricky. Unlike Katara & Yue I don’t think he’d have much trouble justifying it if someone like Ichiro or Daisuke got hurt. While the girls would feel guilt over anyone being harmed, I think Jet would have a more pragmatic attitude if the people getting hurt were doing a lot of harm. The only reason he stood up to Hama in the end was that she hinted at plans to “subdue” Katara & Yue if they didn’t go along with her ideas. So, he was probably the least opposed to kidnap of the three. But I don’t think any of them would be okay with it if Hama hurt innocent people down the line - which is not out of the realm of possibility if it served a cause she cared about.

Anyway- I said I wouldn’t add & then I did! I love rambling about my story too much 😁

I seriously love your analysis & thoughts on this head scratcher! Thank you SO much for sharing 💜💜💜

#asks #happenstance #mutuals #thank you sm for this fun ask!!#sorry it took so long to answer #every day this week I’ve been struggling so hard with brain fog 😶‍🌫️

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remyfire · 1 month

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Okay, so, lot of thoughts about the BJ vs Trapper thing. First, you were absolutely correct, I am a Trapper girlie deep down, but BJ stole my heart within only a few minutes. Trap might just barely win as my favorite, but I think it's because watching those first three seasons made me fall fully in love with the show. So if he is my favorite, it's more sentimentality reasons rather than being a better character or partner to Hawkeye, you know?

While watching both Preventative Medicine and Period of Adjustment, I did realize that BJ and Hawkeye butt heads more often than Trap and Hawk. The show made that very clear to see. But that being said, I don't think it's a bad thing. Trap was definitely more of an enabler, and I think sometimes Hawkeye does need someone to bring him back down to earth. Trapper was also much more pessimistic than BJ seems to be, and I think it's good for Hawkeye to have someone to help pull him out of his spirals a little easier when he starts to get too deep. Again, not that Trap was unable to do that, but I think BJ has a slightly more positive view on things than Trapper did. But at the same time, having someone with that easy friendship where you can think the same thing without even speaking like Trapper and Hawkeye had can be so nice. They were often so in sync with each other, and I think having someone feel and think the same way also helped Hawkeye feel less alone over in Korea.

Regarding both of them knocking Hawkeye away, I think a bit of a disservice was done to BJ by making his episode and moment a bit heavier than Trapper's. When Trap whacked Hawkeye with that bag, it was played much more as a joke. When BJ blew up, it fell more on the drama side of the show. So regardless of my personal feelings, I do think both of these scenes would be seen very differently if they were both played in the same tone. As it stands, having BJ's lean away from the comedy made it feel much more charged than Trapper's, even if the overall situation is the same for both of them.

Personally, this doesn't take away any of my love for BJ. It gives him nuance and depth. We hear him talk about missing his family, but this is the first time we really *see* it have an effect on him. And while I do wish he would have directly apologized to Hawkeye, I think that was an extra layer of his emotional onion that he was just not able to peel back at that time. Even though he didn't say the words, I think he showed his remorse by opening up to Hawkeye, going to him for comfort, helping him rebuild the still. I still think Hawkeye deserves a real apology for being hurt like that, but I think he also knows that BJ feels bad and didn't truly mean to hurt him. That being said, I think he also deserves an apology from Trapper, but Hawk and Trap's relationship was always a bit less explicitly emotional than BJ and Hawkeye's has been.

Also, this may all be sentimentality speaking. There are two scenes I remember the exact wording of from when I watched this show as a kid so many years ago, and one of them is "You know what I did today? I hit the best friend I ever had." And even the first time I saw that, even without knowing their full backstory, that line spoke to me so much that I've remembered it all these years. I remembered the pain in BJ's voice when he said it, the tears in his eyes, the way he looked at Hawkeye when he spoke. To me, it showed the depth of their friendship, even without the several seasons of backstory. It told me that BJ cared, and he felt remorse, and also had a kind of love for Hawkeye that I only hoped people could have for me. Like I said, it may be sentimentality speaking, but I think that was a hugely powerful scene.

All this to say: I don't think it affects my love or BJ or him and Hawkeye as a ship. It's definitely a tough episode to watch, and I think it's also a hurdle they might have to work a little to get past, but personally it made no difference for me in my enjoyment of his character. All it did for me was add more depth to BJ, show me his experiences of the horrors of war, and make him more of an interesting character. And thank you for posing such a question! It was definitely in line with the hints of a thought I had on my own after watching this episode, and it was very fun to delve deeper in and really analyze what I thought and why I thought that. And of course I could probably go on further, because I clearly love talking about these boys. But thank you for the question and thank you for sharing your thoughts too!

Hi anon, you said all of this so articulately that I am honestly struggling to come up with an in-depth response because I am just sitting here chin-handsing and thinking about all three of our boys with very, very large emotions. You and I really do seem to be like-minded regarding quite a bit about how we absorbed these experiences and let them coalesce into the wider narrative and relationships therein.

So instead I'm just going to think about how after the war, what this means is that all three of them are going to [I am hooked and removed from the stage]

#if i'm not careful i'm also going to think about both bj and trapper's childhoods and the fathers i headcanon them growing up with #and then the waterworks are never going to stop so i just have to end it right fucking there #my ramblings

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dreamofmetoday · 1 year

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XDINARY HEROES GROUP DYNAMIC

this reading was a paid request, a big thank you to the buyer!

overall:

a lot of energy and passion! they feel very hopeful about the future and their chance for success and seem to work fairly well together. a major positive is that they actively all try to make sure they celebrate often (when they achieve something they reward themselves and congratulate each other). they’re still getting used to being around each other so often and being in this group has taught them a lot about what it means to get along with people in general, so it’s definitely more coworker vibes than friendship vibes currently but the foundation they’re building together has potential for being solid. they make sure to look out for one another and while all of them have moments of feeling as if their individuality is threatened it seems they’re focused on the long haul and try not to allow petty jealousies to get out of control.

gunil:

seems a bit moody and emotional. he’s quite burdened and stressed and seems to be pushed to his limit trying so hard to be a team player. he convinces himself he’s always getting the short end of the stick. being around people so often in general seems it could be hard for him so he should work on communicating his boundaries and concerns early on so he doesn’t become too resentful and act out. honestly, down the line i worry his character may become more questionable (sleazy, angry and vindictive) so he should really work on this now.

jungsu:

he wants everyone to get along and can take on the role of the mediator. he’s cooperative and good at compromise and doesn’t even seem to mind if he’s bossed around. he makes sure to spend a lot of time with himself so he doesn’t feel overwhelmed but he’s also the one reminding everyone to have fun when they’re together and make the most of the memories they’re creating. he gives the vibes of "slow and steady wins the race" and he plays his cards carefully.

gaon:

gaon seems pretty simple, he’s essentially in work mode constantly when with the members and isn’t too interested in wanting them to ever be more than coworkers. this can cause him to sometimes be inconsiderate towards them but his detachment and lack of emotion towards them also makes him come across as laidback so he’s easy to be around. he’s professional but also risk taking and he pushes the members for success because he wants it too. while he’s not exactly looking to become best friends with anyone he does pay attention and will stand up for someone or their opinion if he feels they’re right.

o.de:

he’s kind of secretive, he probably struggles the most with feeling like his independence is threatened so while he gets along with the members superficially he always has something he’s keeping in reserve and never reveals his hand. he should be wary of this competitiveness eventually hurting the dynamic permanently because he could be prone to sabotage (whether it’s manipulation to get what he wants out of a comeback at the expense of other members or even just talking badly about them to their peers). he should also be careful of saying things he can’t take back because if it happens too often those hurt feelings will never truly go away. side note: he should also be very careful of scandals, especially ones involving (his treatment of) women which would bring down the image of the group. he should remember to keep the big picture in mind as he does now.

junhan:

his feelings are very easily hurt. it seems this will be a common theme for him in this group but it also could have happened in any group given his personality. he’s often upset and always pushing down how hurt he is, he’s overly focused on keeping the peace and doesn’t speak out about basically anything. very evasive and this prevents him from becoming closer with the members, being forced to have an argument with one or a few of them would actually clear the air and give them both a deeper understanding of one another. he needs to be told often he’s appreciated and valued or it becomes even worse so it’s important the other members are eventually able to pick up on this to help him feel better.

jooyeon:

seems he’s a bit of a loner overall. he wants attention and for the members to like him but he mostly keeps to himself and just does what he thinks is expected of him. he has a gentle and sort of dignified vibe where he wants to be professional and stay the bigger person in all situations. he’s good at resolving (or staying out of) conflicts and is optimistic and tries to keep the mood bright. his laziness can be something that annoys the other members.

#group dynamic reading #group dynamic #kpop tarot #kpop #celebrity tarot #xdinary heroes #jooyeon #xdinary heroes jooyeon #gunil #xdinary heroes gunil #xdinary heroes jungsu #jungsu #xdinary heroes junhan #junhan #xdinary heroes o.de #o.de #xdinary heroes gaon #gaon #melody tarot

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