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#and 'I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY SONS BEST FRIEND'
himezoro · 2 days
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Hello!! Could you please do what it would be like to date Luffy?? He's my favorite character and I loved your Zoro headcanons!!
— tysm for requesting !! i've recently came back from my trip and still recovering from my mental breakdown lol, so writing for luffy aka my son is all i need <3 i hope it brings you joy and light ⋆˙⟡♡ i have other requests in my box and i promise to do them all, i won't let you down !!
ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ : monkey d luffy's guide to relationship (check out roronoa zoro's guide here and here if you're interested)
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dating monkey d luffy would include :
endless, countless and heartfelt laughters. luffy is an outgoing and fun person to be around. he's always having fun on the way of making his dream come true, making each day bright and sunny. he won't be trying that hard to make their s/o laugh, his authenticity, fearlessness and lack of danger estimation would do the trick. but expect him to yell his s/o's name everytime he pulls a prank or tests his flexibility by making funny faces. if his s/o happens to be sad, he would also try his best to cheer them up by first, making them laugh to forget about their worry. when in bed with his s/o, he would let soft and intimate laughs escape his throat when talking to them or listening to their stories. laughing is an intimate and loving act according to luffy's guide.
physical touch. luffy's a sucker for hugs, tender gestures and pdas!! he has no shame hugging his friends like a koala, but with his s/o?? they would barely be able to breath lmao. luffy would sleep with his arms fully wrapped around his s/o's back, with his chin on the top of their head, sometimes, he would sleep on top of them with his whole weight just to show "how much he loves them", or with his head on their lap. anyway, luffy’s s/o is always at arms length thanks to his ability, much to his delight. the boy's clingy, but so adorable and natural about it. however, if their s/o needs some space, luffy would understand, although a bit saddened, so expect him to ask for a hug when they're ready. if their s/o really hates physical touch, it would be difficult for luffy to adjust (he's just a big soft plushie please take care of my baby)
receiving random compliments at random times. luffy's very honest and genuine, and even though he lacks real communication skills, he never lies. therefore, if he sees their s/o with a new outfit and he finds it nice, he will vocalize it in his words. "your coat is brown like a juicy steak, it looks tasty! you should wear it more often", "your hair looks like a cloud this morning", "your eyes sparkle like lasers!!".
him being involved in his s/o's hobbies/occupations. luffy is naturally curious. people often feel like he is pestering and "in the way", which can hurt his feelings, but he is genuinely interested in his friends' activities. he has so much admiration for them. but with his s/o? luffy would not only pester and ask what they're doing, he would also be trying to learn alongside them, with stars in his eyes. if their s/o's a fighter and fighting with a particular weapon or style, luffy would sit quietly and watch for some time, clapping his hands and feet at any random movements from their body, before joining and mimicking. if their s/o was reading or doing anything more intellectual or academic, luffy would sit by them, his arms crossed on the table and his head on top and listen to them talk and tell about what they're learning. if his s/o is patient and pedagogical, he would be so happy and confident enough to ask questions. he will then brag to usopp and chopper about his recent learnings with confidence and pride, saying how "(your name) taught me!!" (he will also turn around to his s/o to check if what he's saying is correct). it is very important for luffy to know what his s/o is doing and what they like, and for them to share their activities together. because on luffy's part, he would include his s/o in every single thing, even on shenanigans with usopp and chopper if they'd like.
hungry kisses and messy makeout sessions. the first kiss with luffy was soft, quick and intimate: a simple peck on the lips. also, at the beginning of the relationship, they were few, as the captain is more of a hugger. however, when his s/o would explain luffy that kisses could involve tongue, dear lord. luffy got insatiable. with his first french kiss, the move of his tongue got so messy he let some drool escape from his lips, trailing out from his s/o's lips. he also accidently bit his s/o's bottom lip so hard it stayed swollen for a couple of days. luffy would take note on his s/o's preferences and always surprise them with that one kiss that would leave them out of breathe and shaky. during make out sessions, not only his tongue would be insatiable, but his hands as well. this boy cannot stand still, he would trail his hands all over his s/o's body, especially the inside of their thighs or their ass. oftenly, after pulling away from his lips, he would look at his s/o's eyes and say "more" before diving in again.
aside from the messy kisses from heated and hungry make outs, luffy's kisses are always spontaneous and playful. he's hanging from the chandelier with his legs around it? he'll grow his head down just he can peck his s/o's lips. his kisses are never calculated or protocolar, they're just like his sweet personality. he would try to kiss you when you eat to "taste your food", claiming that it tasted better.
learning to communicate. luffy is not a complete moron, but his communication skills and social awareness may not be the best. their s/o will have to use patience in order to have a meaningful conversation about their intimate feelings or their relationship in general. luffy is a good listener to his s/o, however, his responses are not always fitting to the matter at hand, sometimes even immature. nevertheless, luffy is a willing person, especially with his s/o. he would try his best providing more fitting responses to his s/o's matters and expressing his needs as well, especially if he feels he has been saddened by their behaviour.
entrusting him and reassuring him. of course, luffy is a confident person, not only in his skills, but also in his dream of being the King of the Pirates. however, if their s/o does not vocalize their trust in his dream, skills or character, luffy would be saddened and pouty. it could trigger his jealousy. he is the captain of a fantastic crew with fantastic people and he feels entrusted with that role, but the one trust and validation he needs is from his s/o. if their s/o compliments him or refer to him as "future King of the Pirates", he would be beaming so hard and brag about it a little.
having a number one fan and devoted partner. luffy loves all of his crewmates and would do anything for them. but his s/o is special. he would always cheer them up, be their cheerleader, talk about them at any given times (a little like tom holland with zendaya lol), protect them from the smallest ant, raise them high. he will always stand for them. if his s/o's in danger, the smallest hint of common sense hidden in his brain gets completely lost and he goes feral. he won't let anything happen to his s/o, before letting anything happen to his dream. his dream is with their s/o: there's no Pirate King with his s/o, no matter what. losing his brother already broke his heart, and he knows losing his s/o will hurt the same, so he does not let anything happen to them. <3
he's the definition of a golden retriever boyfriend, but i feel like he would rather eat from your plate than giving you his lmao. he won't mind sharing with you, but he would enjoy stealing food from your plate.
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deadsetobsessions · 3 days
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Okay I got some sleep- here’s pt. 2 of my nightmare:
——
They spoke to each other as they moved, the surroundings that had egregiously attacked the group of heroes earlier easily parted way for his sister.
‘How has everything been, habibi?’
They talked to each other in a language known only to them. The rest of the Justice League team, the members of this mission: Batman, Flash, Superman, and Zatanna did not understand the signs, a feat worthy of his sister.
‘Alright. They are not bad. I like it here.’ He told her, eyes not quite wary but fear of disappointing her running through his small frame apparent all the same. ‘I would… like to stay.’
She ruffled his hair once more, wistfulness growing in her heart. How her little brother had grown. It seemed like yesterday she held him as a babe, swaddled in even more opulent green and gold silks than her own clothing. Now, he stood in front of her, daring to express his own thoughts with a domino over his face and strength of free will in his eyes. ‘That is good. I am glad you are happy.’
Batman lurched forward to stop her from touching Damian, only to freeze as his son accepted the touch without a hint of resistance. Even Dick couldn’t get that reaction, not without some grumbling and scowling. Who was this…?
The rest of team agreed to wait and watch. Part of it was strategy. Most of it was the wonder of a such Bat-like Robin being so open with someone.
‘Have you been here before?’ Damian, relaxed as she all but gave him her blessing to stay with father, peered at the local fauna as it bowed away from her sister. She shrugged, his katana sheathed on her back. She was at ease with it as he was with her blade, the training they did to get there unwavering despite the time they spent apart.
‘Sometimes. The tower we’re headed to, I often go there to relieve stress by training with the monsters there. They like to… attack everything that moves.’
Something told Damian it was more of a one sided massacre on his sister’s part.
‘Why would the magician hide there?’
‘It would serve adequately as a natural barrier, should he have a safe space put there ahead of time.’ His sister tilted her head, masked face still in the way he knew meant that she was thinking. Her hands moved. ‘Perhaps it was Grorgiantue that attacked you. He often goes there to experiment with alchemy and demonic remains. He often wears a maroon headband.’
“That’s him.” Damian confirmed.
“Are you going to clue us into what you’re saying, you two?” The Flash zoomed around the pair, skidding to a stop in front of them. Damian’s sister simply stepped around him, slicing apart a thorn bush that attacked when it got startled by the Flash’s speed. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as Robin scowled at him and the unknown ally spared him one quick, neutral glance of displeasure.
“No. Do not ask again, you eavesdropper.” Damian curtly replied, surly Robin mask back up.
“Robin.” Father reprimanded. Damian acknowledged it, but did not offer an apology. His sister remained silent and watching.
She’s relying on him to navigate these allies, Damian realized. His shoulders went back at the show of trust. He does not acquiesce to Father’s silent command. Had it been Richard… perhaps.
“Ouch, but still, if your… friend knows what’s up ahead, it’s be good to let us know.”
“We do need to take care of this as fast as possible, Robin. And we’re not the best team against magic.” Superman hovered. He would have gone and scouted ahead, but magical planes always had nasty surprises that he found extremely hard to escape.
“Speak for yourself,” Zatanna joked. Regardless, she looked askance at Damian’s sister.
Damian scowled and opened his mouth. His sister placed a hand on his shoulder and Damian sighed, readying himself to act as a translator. He knew she could sign in practically every standard sign language there was, damn it. She’s lucky he loved her enough to be a translator when she’s unwilling to socialize.
——
“Your sword,” Damian tried to hand her sword back. Her little brother, for a genius, was an idiot. She huffed, pushing the sword back.
‘Keep it. How will you cut through a magical tower without a magical sword?’ She signed to him, emphasizing her amusement.
“What about you?”
‘I must report back. I am... a bit late. I’ll see you later, habibi.’ She tapped her hand four times. A reminder that she cared about him. Before she disappeared through a swirling portal of mist grey and acrid blue, she saw him repeat the sign.
Behind her mask, she smiled.
——
“Who was that, Robin?”
Robin stared up at Batman. Damian Wayne stared up at his father.
“She... protected me.”
Not quite an answer. But it was an olive branch, to tell him who she was to Damian himself, but not who she truly was in relations to Damian.
“That’s it?”
“That is all you’re getting.” He replied, hands tightening around the hilt of his sister’s sword. Her magic hummed beneath his fingertips, the feeling of indescribable violence softening to a sense of protectiveness the moment the sword felt his presence. Damian respected Father. He might even love him. But Damian loved his sister first, and he would not betray her trust.
A new file is added to the database. Nightwing gets an update. When a familiar masked face pops up, Dick Grayson sped out of Bludhaven to interrogate his littlest brother.
And so the wheels turned.
——
“Tell me, granddaughter, what it is you truly think of me.”
Despite the conversational tone, she knew it was an order. The scars on her back burned, a reminder of another rebellion and the cost of failure.
There were many, many ways she could answer. All of them unpleasant. Yet, she must be pleasant. He must hear how she’d been broken, or else he’d keep trying to break her.
She tilted her head down, so he would not glimpse the hatred brewing in her eyes.
“I respect you, grandfather.” Because she did respect his ability to bend her at his will, for all that she hated him. It took a special kind of scum to be so cruel to one own blood. “I wish to obey your every order.” Because if she didn’t, pain would follow. But that wish was a temporary one, only in effect until she managed to kill him and come out on top.
Ra’s laughed, a warm and rich sound. Hollow, because he loved none but himself and so only reserved warmth for his own flattery. It sounded like the sharpening of a blade and it felt like balancing on a precipice. On one side, an eternity of torture. On the other, the pain of those she loved. Damian... and maybe, just a little, Talia herself.
"Do you love me, granddaughter?" He crooned, mocking and cruel, in a way one might ask a jilted lover. The reincarnation held her breath and answered. She will not lie. She can not lie, not to him. He had gouged the order into her tongue with magic and brutality. And so, she will not lie.
"No, grandfather. But I do not dislike you." The reincarnation said, soft as velvet. It was true, because what she felt for Ra's al Ghul was the cold, pervasive hatred. "I respect you."
"I see I've managed to beat some of that foolish sentimentality out of you," he said, taking a sip of his wine. Oh, how she wished she could slip poison in his cup. How she wished to make him choke on his own words, his own blood. But she could not. Not. Yet. "Alas, I can not undo the magic. I suspect you'll be serving at my feet for... quite a long time more."
She snapped her mouth closed, phantom rage hovering between her teeth. The world swirled around her, greens and purples, and the revolting touch of his hands on her.
No, she will bide her time.
She knelt, the motion familiar, on plush carpet that she could not appreciate. Luxurious cloth rustled in front of her.
And when her time comes, she will revel in Ra's al Ghul's agonizing death.
——
"Damian, you have to tell me who that is!"
Damian could be stubborn at times, he knew that. He worked with him on it. Damian was as much, if not more, Dick's Robin as he was Bruce's Robin. So why...?
"And for what reason do you wish to know her identity, Richard?"
Dick paused. He couldn't. He couldn't tell him. No one knew, except for that masked person. It happened so long ago- not long enough- and Dick could not wash the taint, could not wash the trauma from his brain, his heart. Whispers that sounded like Catalina surrounded him when he thought of that rainy night, telling him how disgusted his family would be, if they knew. Those things went away, now that he's pulled up the file on the batcomputer. The whispers fade a bit as he looked upon the masked face of the person who saved him. Just in time.
"For your safety!"
Damian crossed his arms, a look that spoke of an unbending unwillingness present in his eyes. Dick knew then that Damian would not tell him. "I will never be in danger if it's her on the other side of the blade."
"Come on, Damian, I won't tell B. Promise. Don't you trust me?"
Damian's face softened, and for a second, Dick had thought that he'd managed it. "I do... trust you." Damian struggled to say. "That is hardly ever in question, you imbecile. But to tell you would mean betrayal. And I will not betray her trust. Especially not for your personal satisfaction."
Dick wondered what this masked woman did for Damian to be unhesitatingly confident in her. He wondered if his own desperation meant something he had yet been able to put into words.
"For what it's worth, Dick, I think we should trust Damian and not pry."
Dick and Damian turned to Tim in surprise. Damian, because it was an unexpected vote of confidence.
"Woah, I do not want to hear that from you, Mr. Tiny Tot Stalker McGee."
"It's called preparation!" Tim said hotly back. Then, he subsided. "She, uh, saved me once. Back then, before I was... associated with Bruce."
"What?" Dick and Damian demanded.
——
Innocuous. The worst and best things always happened on innocuous days.
The beginning of her slavery began on a regular, if painful, sunny day.
The beginning of her freedom began on a regular, if painful, cloudy one.
She'd have to thank the little photographer later, she decided. His work all but forced her grandfather to rely on a handful of backup Lazarus pools only he, mother, and herself knew about. She stared at the green pools as her grandfather stripped to his waist to step in.
"Guard me," he commanded her as he stepped towards the pool. The sting of the command settled familiarly around her neck. “Once I am done, you will depart to force Damian or the detective back to Nanda Parbat. By any means necessary.”
It was his first time ordering her to hurt her brothers, past physical pain disguised as training.
His first mistake today.
That's the thing with her grandfather, she mused as she silently unsheathed Damian's sword. He was so complacent, that he could fathom her betrayal.
His second mistake. His last mistake.
Then again, it was her who lulled him into it, with the shows of loyalty and seemingly willing obedience outside of her magical collar's commands.
After all, he had commanded her to guard him. From outside threats, surely, but he hadn't commanded her to guard him from herself.
"You-!" He coughed as her- Damian's- blade slid in between his ribs and straight towards the other side. It missed his heart by a hair's breadth, Ra's having moved the moment he felt the blade. Truly, it was hard to beat a near-immortal's experience.
"Kill yourself!" He barked at her, clutching at his chest, trying to stumble towards the pool.
To kill herself, she had to remove the blade lodged in his chest. The magic urged her to follow his commands immediately with searing pain. But she's had over two decades to endure and adjust to it, to grit her teeth and learn how to move with the torture of being alive. So she follows it just to dislodge the blade. The reincarnation then, with the magic trying to break her, cripples Ra’s with two blows.
He collapsed, screaming bloody murder and slurs at her. Before he could say another command, she stabbed down and to the side, cutting deep enough to cut his voice box and spill his life-blood, his unceasingly irritating throat, over the craggy rocks surrounding the pool.
Then, she slit her throat with a cut that was a touch too shallow to kill her right away.
"I do not dislike you," she said, the pain easing as she spoke to him. The red she's taken from others now spilled on the front of her shirt. She stared at his enraged glare, vicious glee at making him choke on his own actions. "No, I hate you."
She bent down, twisting and breaking his arms with little effort. She patted his cheeks and raked a trail of pain down his face with her metal tipped gloves. Her blood dripped onto him, blinding his eyes.
Fitting, she'd thought. "No one will come for you, grandfather. But... I do have to ask," She looked down, voice tilting in the cruel way that he'd unintentionally taught her. "Don't you love me, grandfather?"
She walked backwards until she reached the edge of the pool. She knelt once more, a mockery of every time she's knelt for him.
The reincarnation watched his blood spill, the light leave his eyes, and the way his body stilled and the way his rage was stifled like he'd smothered her voice so long ago. She memorized it, because hate was an active emotion. But she was tired, and she wanted to rest. So she watched him die and felt nothing but peace.
Then, as she felt the magic take hold and tear her soul from her body, she tipped backwards and plunged her corpse in the glowing pits that awaited her.
——
It felt like drowning.
(did y’all know cats lay on your chest?? bro i straight up couldn’t breath bc of that)
Breathless. Corrosive. Freeing.
The Pit felt like freedom.
And she’d long forgotten what that felt like.
It tasted like shit water though, and suddenly she felt bad for everyone whoever swallowed some of the water here. She’s going to need her stomach pumped out after this-
Her thoughts were washed away in a haze of green tinted fury.
——
“Habibi.”
Nightwing slid in front of Robin with a well practiced flip. Batman emerged from the shadows, followed Spoiler and Red Robin.
“Talia. What do you want?” Batman growled. Talia ignored him, an uncharacteristic action that had the vigilantes putting their guards up.
“I… you know I would not ask this of you- I would not ask you to return,” Talia said softly.
“Then don’t.” Red Robin cut in sharply, bo staff at the ready. Talia ignored him too.
“But she needs you, habibi. I can not… I can not help her.”
“Who?” Spoiler asked, curious but ready to rumble.
“What happened?” Robin stepped around Nightwing, who made an aborted movement to try to pull Robin back behind him.
“Something terrible.” Talia al Ghul closed her eyes, a sliver of vulnerability and regret showing on her face. Robin straightened, fear thudding through his heart. What happened to ukhti, he wanted to ask. But he could not, not without betraying the promise of silence he’d made to her. “I… I have failed her greatly. And she was paying the price for it, this entire time.”
“Wait, is this about the masked woman?” Nightwing asked.
“Alright,” Robin- no, Damian- stepped forward once more. His decision was made. Had been made, the moment his mother allowed the rare instance of vulnerability to come across her face. “I’ll be going back, once…”
“Of course. She would not let me keep you, habibi. She knows you are happier here.”
“Then, let’s go.”
“Robin!” His family tried to stop him but Damian slipped between and out of their reach. “Do not!”
“I’ll be back,” he declared, like he was daring his mother to say otherwise. “Try not to raze Gotham into the ground with your incompetence.”
“I’ll kill Ra’s if something happens to him.” Red Robin pointed the bo staff at Talia as she and Damian turned to leave. He stopped an alarmed Batman when he tried to lunge for Robin.
“No need,” she threw back. Damian whipped his head up at that. “He’s already dead.”
And they disappeared into a whirling purple cloud of magic.
——
Snippets of reality return to her bit, by bit. Her mother had cautiously entered the pit with her guards- worried, no doubt, by their absence- and stilled upon seeing her father’s dead body.
She laughed, and dug her hands into the bodies of the assassins she’d trained until her nails dripped with blood and pieces of organs. She felled them, one by one, until only mother was left.
She’d attacked, like a rabid dog, until the green slipped and her mother came into focus.
“I killed him,” she’d croaked out. And that was what broke her; the smooth way air wrapped her around her throat where only ripping pain had existed. Her voice came out unhindered and recklessly so, without the tinge of agony carefully picking her sentences.
“I killed him,” she repeated, and set Ra’s al Ghul’s body on fire. “I killed him.”
Her mother stared at her, hands dropping carefully to her side. “Why?”
She smiled, teeth bared and bloody- oh, she must have ripped into an assassin with her teeth, how messy- and endlessly joyful. “Because he dared to chain me- because he threatened Damian.”
She broke, and she told her mother everything. No, not everything. Just, enough. At the end, when her back is bowed with pain and heart empty, her mother knelt before her and quietly, tremblingly, apologized.
“I am sorry, habibi. I…”
The reincarnation’s made a small, wounded noise and lost herself to the green.
——
Damian trembled with rage. With grief.
With regret.
He followed mother into the caverns, mind turning and whirling with everything he’d learned in the hour that had passed since he’d left Gotham. His sister’s inclination towards magic was incredibly helpful, but Damian wished that she had never had the cause to go delving into magic like she did.
He thought it was passion.
His mother had informed him of what Grandfather had done to his ukht all these years. She told him of what his sister had sacrificed so that he remained free.
“Every time she spoke to us, to tell us that she loves us… father had made sure she paid for every word with unceasing agony.” His mother had muttered, eyes more lost than he’d ever seen it. “The magic at her neck ensured that she obeyed unquestioningly or she paid the price.”
“She is paying the price right now,” he’d snapped at her.
“Yes.”
Damian had thought ukhti’s collection of magical tomes were a sign of her interests. He thought it was passion for a subject. He had even envied how she did not have to hide her hobby like he had to with his art.
Now, he knew it wasn’t passion. No, it was desperation; a scrambling for freedom, a wish for dignity, and the fear of the same restrictions being placed on his ukht’s loved ones- him and mother.
When he entered the cave, lit up by swirling, sickly green, he saw his ukht, drenched in blood and sclera, tearing apart another group of assassins. There were ashes and the smell of burnt flesh around them.
Her eyes- green, glazed, furious- turned towards them.
His mother tensed. His ukht lunged, pitted sword aimed at his eyeball.
But if there was anything Damian knew, it was that ukhti would never hurt him.
So he stayed still.
And she stopped. Blade a centimeter from his eyes, his sister stopped.
“Damian?”
How his heart broke when she spoke, confusion in her voice that sounded as if she had been screaming for decades and nobody had heard.
As Damian’s hand wrapped around her wrist and she dropped the sword, he morbidly thought that she might have been doing that. It’s not like they heard her, after all, not until she’d freed herself with broken fingers and steel spine.
——
Bruce paced around in the cave. With the disappearance of their youngest, the entire family gathered in the cave, the night after. Except for Barbara, who had been scouring the cameras and had prior engagements, and Cass, who was on a plane back from Hong Kong, the family watched as Bruce slowly lost his mind.
“Relax, B. Look, even Dickface and Timbers aren’t worried, and you know how they get.” Jason said, kicking his feet up on the table.
“Ahem.”
Jason quickly put his feet down.
“We know nothing about this woman! She could be a danger- she could-!”
“B, if it really is about the masked woman, I think we should give Damian some trust.” Dick spoke up.
“And what if they keep Damian captive?”
“Then we go get him, Bruce. Simple.” Duke said, yawning.
Whatever Bruce would have said next was cut off by the opening of the cave’s underground entrance, with an approving beep of a recognized and authorized entrance.
Damian stalked in, hands wrapping around the hilt of his sword like he was going to cut through the next fool who tested him. His face was in a frown.
“Damian. Are you alright?” Bruce rushed towards his youngest, only to be dodged.
“I need to break something. Then, we shall talk.”
Damian headed towards the training dummies at let out his fury. He let out his heart break. Splinters of wood and cloth and ripped padding laid testament to his grief.
Then, the younger brother of the true heir to the Demon’s Head turned around to speak to his chosen family.
——
Clarity.
Her brother, her fool, dumb brother who had just stood there as she tried to gouge his eyes out, had been exactly what she needed.
She avoided his concerned eyes as she muttered calculations under her breath.
“Ukhti, what are you doing?”
“Freedom, habibi. I am… creating my freedom.”
At his confused look, she made the signs for Pit Rage. He nodded and guarded her back.
Damian was so adorable. And now, now that there’s not collar around her neck, she could say that without awaiting internal agony!
Her mouth spoke the words she’d found all those years ago, magic flaring bright white and blue as the circle she laid down on crumbling rocks shuddered.
The magic soothed her frayed mind and seeped the poison from her mind.
——
“I have a sister.” He’d told them. He turned to his father, who had a blank look on his face. “An older sister. She is yours.”
“You fucked Talia, twice?!”
A scowl. “Keep your trap shut, Todd.”
Bruce felt his world shudder to a stop.
——
Her fingers, her left hand as her right was busy scratching absently at Damian’s head, found purchase on her back and neck. The skin wasn’t so soft anymore, time and scars making for a rougher feel.
There were worse things than death. Bitter, painful things.
Loosing her freedom. Loosing her voice.
But… there were better things than life. Sweet, gentle things.
Regaining her freedom. Getting revenge. Securing her family’s safety and freedom from the grotesque thing that wore the skin of a grandfather.
Her brother, tucked safely against her side, and a mother that finally understood.
“Come to Gotham with me,” Damian had suggested. She hummed, delighting in the way the sound came out with out the ringing pain.
But one does not erase two plus decades worth of trauma in one night.
Her hands came up.
‘Not yet. Mother will think-”
“It is a good idea.”
Her gaze darted up. Her mother’s eyes… softened. Odd. No… her gaze was heavy with guilt.
“It would… do you good to be away from here, my daughter.”
Well.
It’s not like she was opposed to that, at all, but still…
‘Two weeks. I’ll tie up loose ends… and I’ll go to Gotham in two weeks, if that’s alright with you, Damian?’
“Of course.” He leaned against her, hand clutching at her shirt in a motion that she wasn’t sure was meant to comfort himself or her. “May I tell father about you?”
Ah. She hadn’t thought of that. The pit really scattered her mind. She nodded.
——
“Why… why didn’t you tell me?”
“She asked me not to.”
“And since when did you do things people ask of you, demon brat?”
Damian scowled. It did not make his next sentence any less genuine.
“Since it was ukhti that asked.”
Tim spun around on his wheel chair. “Holy shit. So the masked person was your sister. No wonder you were so….”
Protective, they all finished the rest of the sentence silently. They all sat back to contemplate that Bruce had one more kid… and that Tim had met her before Damian was even born.
“So, why were you so upset, baby bird?” Dick asked, an odd feeling of both gratefulness and mild jealousy towards Damian’s sister- his savior, because holy shit- gathering underneath his heart.
“Apparently, grandfather put her under an enslavement spell all these years.”
“Damian… say that again. I- I must have heard you wrong.”
Damian closed his eyes, hating how unsteady and fearful his father sounded. He obliged, because he knew what it felt like.
“Grandfather put her under an enslavement spell and used her to further the League’s reach.”
Damian had wondered why he had encountered his sister so often while passing by grandfather’s chambers and why she always looked tired when she goes past those ornate doors.
Now he knew.
“Does that- does that mean what I think it means?”
“Yes. She,” Damian’s hands gripped harshly on his forearms. He breathed in and out slowly. “She was… assaulted. Most likely regularly. To broker more favorable agreements. She could not refuse. The magic demanded complete obedience or risk the punishment of unbearable pain.”
Dick looked away. They had a lot in common. She saved him… but on her end, she was not saved. His hands itched to punch Ra’s al Ghul in the face.
“Fuck.” Stephanie cursed. Her eyes met Duke’s and Jason’s.
Tim’s hands stopped moving, eyes staring blankly at Damian. He should have tried harder to kill Ra’s al Ghul.
Bruce got up, trembling, and stalked over to the training dummy. They sat in silence.
“What else?” Bruce rasped. He hung his head.
“She was ordered not to speak a word.”
“But she… spoke to me.” Tim said. Damian felt an irrational flare of jealousy.
“Then it most likely caused her unimaginable pain as punishment.” Damian snapped.
“What do we have to do to free her?” Stephanie demanded.
“Nothing, Brown. She freed herself.”
“How?” Duke leaned in, expression serious. “Did Ra’s al Ghul free her before he died or something?”
“I… am not too sure of the details, but it involved killing him… and jumping into the pit.”
Jason stood up with a clatter. “She was in the pit?!
“Yes. I think… she might have died. I’m not… sure.”
Bruce closed his eyes, working on his breathing like Dinah had showed him.
“Is that why Talia came? Because you could stop her pit madness?”
“Yes. I- there-” Damian struggled to get the words out, the ball of upset sitting on his chest made it hard to breathe. “Ukhti would never hurt me. Unless it’s training, but even then, I am sure she fought against her orders to wound me.”
Dick nodded. Yeah. He would have too, if he were in her shoes.
“I… can ukhti come here to recover?”
“Of course. When?” It was at times like this when he appreciated his family’s sentimentality and ridiculously large hearts. Unhesitatingly kind, even when they should have been furious at him for keeping ukhti’s secrets.
“Two weeks.”
“Then we shall make adequate- no, better than adequate preparations. Master Damian, what were her preferences for food?”
——
She should probably prepare a gift. Multiple.
“Ukht.”
She tilted her head to show Damian she was listening.
“I am sorry.”
‘There’s nothing to be sorry for.’
“But-”
She squeezed his shoulder and forced the words to come out. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“I should have noticed.”
‘I did not want you to notice. If I hid things from you, do you think you could find them so easily?’
“No, I suppose not.”
She smiled at him and tapped her hand four times. He tapped his own four times in response.
——
The dream ended there, well, no, there was actually some more nonsense about a corgi, a room full of strings and slenderman or whatever but I didn’t include that part. There’ll probably be a part three bc I kinda wanna know what happens when she comes to Gotham to recover from trauma.
The oc, relatively well adjusted: *dies*
The oc, reincarnated and got fucked over (figuratively and non consensually literally): “yes, I should go to Gotham (aka trauma central) to recover from my trauma. Sounds legit.”
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kinardscoffee · 2 days
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Does anyone else think that Tommy rehearsed what he wanted to say to Buck in the drive over to his loft?
Cause when Buck opens the door, Tommy seems a bit lost in thought to me. He's looking down at the floor. Telling himself that he's Tommy Kinard and he didn't do anything wrong but Eddie told him that something about Buck just seemed off lately and he feels bad because Buck loves the people in his life to the fucking extreme. He'd easily take a bullet for any of them, and he's even put himself in that position multiple times.
So, Tommy decides to stop by Buck's place before he has to go on shift because there's no way he can focus at work knowing Buck feels excluded.
And he has no idea what to say? "Sorry I stole your best friend and his son. I just wanted to feel a millisecond of that happiness you experience on the daily."
He expects to show up, apologize, and explain that he's not a threat and never would or could be.
And it's flowing. The conversation.
Tommy tells Buck that he just wanted to be part of that family atmosphere that the 118 have. Because that's the root of it, isn't it? To be around people who like you for exactly who you are? No expectations.
Tommy has never had that before.
Sure, the people at work include him, but it's a different type of inclusion. He doesn't know the names of their family members, he doesn't sit down with them for "family dinner" like Bobby does.
They are just coworkers. Nothing more.
But those four individuals that asked for his help that night?
They didn't hesitate once to save Bobby and his wife. No questions asked, no confirmation needed. All because someone didn't answer their phone.
Tommy can't help but feel a warm magnetism between them. A silent confirmation that, no matter what, they will always have each other's back at any given time.
And the people THEY love... they're included under that umbrella of certainty and that's where Tommy thinks he fucked up.
Because Buck is under everyone's umbrella.
So, he's honest. Tommy doesn't know how not to be. He tells Buck he was jealous of all those things, and maybe that played a part in how situations unfolded, but that was never directed at Buck.
And then...
Wait.
Buck tells Tommy that he asked for the tour because he wanted to get to know him. Tommy. Buck explains that this whole thing hasn't been him trying to win back his found family, but join them in including Tommy within their unit.
"... 'cause trying to get your attention has been kind of exhausting."
That's the jump start to Tommy's brain.
His attention? His?
"My attention?"
All this time, Tommy has been making the first move in the name of camaraderie. He invited Eddie to the fight. He invited him to trivia night.
But Buck was just trying to simply get Tommy to fucking look at him.
And now, in Buck's apartment, listening to Buck rambling about how he's not as cool as Eddie and how he understands why Tommy would prefer to hang out with Eddie...
Tommy sees him.
He acts on that magnetism he's felt from Buck since that first night. He thought, after speaking with Eddie, that it was full of resentment, but now, as he presses their lips together, Tommy thinks that, maybe, this could be something.
And he's ready to try.
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birinboom · 3 days
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The Luck-Bringing Cat
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Jing Yuan x Fem!Reader; a shy former imperial concubine
The Apothecary Diaries-esque AU (I am kinda-sorta stealing this plotline from ep. 3), arranged marriage, budding romance, domestic fluff, pet names (JY calls Reader my dear, my love), Reader is also referred to as ‘my lady’ 🌿 3.162 words
Jing Yuan, a famed general and childhood friend of the emperor, has yet to take a wife. The emperor decides to solve this by giving one of his least favorite concubines to his best friend. Even though Jing Yuan is against this practice, he can't help but fall head over heels in love once he meets you.
Thank you so much to @a11eya for beta-reading this for me!
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Only one man had managed to stay at the emperor’s side through most of his life. Jing Yuan, the son of imperial scholars, made friends with the crown prince early in their lives, and they quickly became inseparable. As they aged, Jing Yuan became an asset to the newly crowned emperor; a seasoned warrior, an accomplished general, a brilliant strategist, and one of the few people who dared oppose the monarch when needed. 
The emperor loved him like a brother. And it worried him that Jing Yuan never seemed interested in taking a wife. The general was far from blind to the longing gazes of the women of the court, he accepted their offers on occasion but he never seemed to want more than one or two nights with any woman. The emperor did not see anything wrong with this as he himself split his time more or less equally between his favorite concubines. But any man who was less fortunate than the emperor should surely want something more stable, especially a man who was slowly getting through his best age.
When Jing Yuan was pressed about why he did not want to marry, he stated with a lazy smile that he had neither the time nor the energy for that kind of courtship. But the emperor saw the slight downturn of the corners of the general’s lips. He saw through the facade of his best and oldest friend. 
I have neither the time nor the energy for that kind of courtship. But I desperately wish I did.
The emperor thought deeply about this issue. Then he remembered someone in the inner court. A concubine who had fallen from his favor at their first meeting. He had never spent time with you after that. Why, he had barely thought about you in years. Still, you were a beautiful woman, well-educated, and, from what he had been told, quite quick-witted. You would make a good gift for his best friend.
Now he just needed to convince Jing Yuan that he would not take no for an answer.
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Jing Yuan was still unable to fully understand how everything had come to this. He could not fathom why the emperor suddenly wanted to give him one of the imperial concubines as a wife. Giving an unfavored concubine to a newly appointed officer as a reward was far from an uncommon practice, Jing Yuan was well aware of that. But he had never expected it to happen to him, not after so many years in service of the emperor. He had been lucky to manage arranging a meeting with you before the wedding. 
This practice seemed so wholly unfair in his mind. Unfair to you and any other concubines affected by the custom. You had already been given as a gift to one man, now you were being given to another, neither of whom you had chosen for yourself. Jing Yuan knew there was little he could do about the situation, but he did not feel right accepting another human being as a gift.   
He continued towards the palace gardens which had been chosen as the meeting place, still in deep speculation about whether he had any chance of changing the emperor’s mind. 
Turning a corner, he was torn out of his thoughts when he came upon a small gathering of women, all of them wearing identical robes. One held a folded-up parasol. They were all calling out to someone in voices too hushed for Jing Yuan to discern any words. 
Ladies-in-waiting, he thought, paying them little mind. Then, his eyes fell on you.
The emperor had shown him a painting of you, commissioned shortly before you had begun your journey to the palace. Even if some years had passed since then, Jing Yuan still instantly recognized you.
You stood at the top of a small bridge crossing one of the many creeks in the garden, your face tilted up towards a nearby tree. The setting autumn sun fell upon you at an angle that made your skin and hair glow. Tearing his gaze away from you, Jing Yuan looked towards the tree as well, his trained ears picking up the song of finches. For a moment he wondered if it might be the same flock that visited the small garden of his own residence. Turning his eyes back to you, he watched as you lifted a hand, holding it up towards the tree. A finch took off from a branch and landed on one of your outstretched fingers.
Until now your face had been mostly devoid of emotion, eyes fixed on the tree. But when the finch landed on your hand, looking calmly at you with one black eye, your features softened, a fond smile gracing your face like the sun appearing from behind rain clouds. 
Jing Yuan watched you lift the bird closer to your face, whispering to it, your other hand coming up to gently scratch the top of its head. He unconsciously raised a hand to his lips in an attempt to hide the smile blooming there. If this was how you behaved with one of his beloved finches (and he was certain at this point that the bird was indeed from the flock he possessively thought of as his), if you acted so kind and loving towards the smallest of creatures with no prompting, then marrying you could quite possibly be one of the best things to ever happen to him. The thought of having you gifted to him still felt wrong, but… perhaps he did not need to dread it as much as he had at first.
Stepping forward, he cleared his throat, trying his best to school his features into a pleasant, if slightly detached, expression. 
You gasped, raising your arm to hide your face behind your long sleeve. The finch took off, frightened by your sudden movement, and the rest of the flock followed it. The flapping of their wings filled the air, drowning out your greeting as you and your ladies-in-waiting bowed to him.
Jing Yuan felt another smile tug at his lips. He managed to hide it behind his hair as he returned your bow.
Your ladies-in-waiting quickly moved to one side of the walkway, letting him pass. He looked at you as he ascended the bridge. The way you peeked shyly at him over your still-raised sleeve made his heart clench. He sent you what he hoped was a pleasant smile, and nodded towards the path on the opposite side.
“Shall we, my lady?”
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The two of you strolled along the garden path for a while, Jing Yuan filling the air with what idle conversation he could think of, and you giving brief, shy answers.
Then, he heard the flap of wings and felt the touch of tiny claws digging into his hair, brushing against his scalp. Soon, he felt a small tug as the finch began to preen him. He could barely help but chuckle when another finch landed on his shoulder. He felt your gaze on him, then your eyes moved to the bird on his far shoulder.
“Oh!” you exhaled.
Raising his opposite hand, he gently encouraged the bird to hop onto one of his fingers, then moved the hand -with bird- closer to you.
“I have worked quite hard on taming them over the years,” he said. “The most recent brood is the tamest yet; they are the only ones so far to actively seek my presence. Though I suspect they only come to me in hopes of food. Would you like to hold it again?”
You looked away, your sleeve rising once more to hide your face. “Again…” you said, sounding very put on the spot.
Jing Yuan tried to quell his laughter. “I must admit that I was watching you for a moment before making my presence known. What I saw was very… endearing.” 
You were silent for a while, then you peeked at him over the top of your sleeve. “May I be frank with you, General?”
He nodded. “Please.”
Staying quiet for a few seconds, you then drew in a deep breath. “I was rather nervous about this meeting. I have heard quite a few rumors about you, about your excellence at anything you do. And I was worried that I might not be able to live up to the expectations of the august general. But… You handle these birds with such tenderness and care. They trust you. Maybe they can trust me too, in time.”
Looking off to the side, you finally lowered your sleeve, clasping your hands in front of you. “I am very fond of small animals. My family owned a couple of tame nightingales when I was a child; I used to love falling asleep while listening to their singing.”
He felt another smile tug at his lips. He too had pleasant memories of falling asleep to the sound of bird song as a child. Though in his case it had been the wild birds outside his windows lulling him to sleep. Sharing such a similar memory with you only made him feel delighted.
Briefly peeking at him, as if to judge his reaction to your words, you then continued, “I have always yearned for a cat too, but my parents would not allow it because of our birds. And I never mustered up the courage to request permission to keep a cat after I arrived at the inner court. Though I doubt the emperor would have indulged me.” You sighed ruefully. “I suppose even now, since birds are favored once again, a pet cat will be impossible. The birds will be enough.”
Jing Yuan looked at you for a moment, stroking his chin. “A cat is a pleasant idea. As the saying goes, ‘a cat well cared for may bring luck to its owner.’ Though if I had my way I should like a lion instead!” When he saw your eyes widen, your mouth starting to open in surprise, he could not stop himself from laughing once more. “I jest, I merely jest! A housecat will suffice! Perhaps we can teach it to leave the birds in peace, or keep it indoors at all times.”
The thought of keeping a cat locked inside, though he doubted it was truly achievable, brought his thoughts back to the way you had been hidden away in the inner court for years. His smile faltered. Would it be right for him to mention his hesitation? Would it assuage you to know that he was far from satisfied with how the situation was handled?
“If I may be so bold, my lady… You were not the only one who had a certain level of apprehension about this meeting.”
You shrank back a little, shoulders slumping. “I… see.”
Jing Yuan saw you raise your hand again, he could only assume to hide your face once more. Without fully realizing what he was doing, he reached out to take your hand in his.
“Please, do not misunderstand me, my dear! It is not because of you, it is the entire situation. I do not much like being given another person as a gift. And I find it wholly unfair to you to be given away once again.” 
He had so much more to say on this subject, so many points to make about how the former concubines nearly always came out as the losers in these circumstances. And yet he felt his mind go blank. He brushed his thumb over the back of your hand in an attempt to gather his thoughts. It had the opposite effect. Your hand was softer and more delicate than he could have ever imagined; so different from his own strong, calloused hands. It took every last shred of self control to not raise it to his lips. 
Releasing your hand with great reluctance, he forced himself to finish his thoughts. “I am loath to receive a wife under such circumstances, even if she is one I should have quite liked to court of my own volition, had I been allowed to. But in the end it is His Majesty’s decision. Even so, I can promise you this, my dear: No matter what may come, I will always do my utmost to ensure that we are both happy with this union.”
You grasped the hand he had held with your free hand, rubbing the skin, your head bowed enough that he could not see your expression.
“I-I…”
Then you raised your head again, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I must admit, I am quite relieved that you feel that way. That you understand the situation from my point of view too.”
Jing Yuan returned your smile. “As much as I am against this entire circumstance, I must admit… the more I get to know you, my dear, the more I am looking forward to you becoming my wife.”
The two of you talked for a while longer, then Jing Yuan escorted you and your ladies-in-waiting back to the inner court. Seeing the gate leading to the inner court left him with a sense of melancholy he could not quite place. Perhaps he had already grown so accustomed to your presence that the thought of being without you left him empty. It made him look forward to your wedding day even more.
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One early morning, some six months later, Jing Yuan was found crouched over a rosebush in the small garden of his residence, pruning shears in hand. It was something he refused to give up, no matter how many people told him it was below his rank to tend to his own garden. Gardening was one of the few things that truly cleared his mind, one of the few still moments of the day that allowed him to relax. And today, he needed it.
He had already spent several hours lying awake, tossing and turning, his mind whirring, until finally giving up on sleep once he heard the first birds singing outside. Rolling over, he pressed a kiss against your bare shoulder, then left the bed to start his day.
The air outside was cold enough that his breath created little puffs of mist, the remnants of frost biting his cheeks. He paid it little mind; it helped clear his head. And so, he crouched over the few bushes that needed pruning this early in spring, settling into a calming rhythm as the world around him slowly grew from a milky gray to pink and orange.
His rhythm was disturbed as something brushed up against his knee. Looking down, he spotted the white kitten he had presented to you on your wedding day, just a few days before the new year began. You had been infatuated with the cat (as had he, as were both of you even now), and you had aptly named it Snowmoon in honor of the full moon hanging in the sky, casting lambent light over the snow-covered ground of the garden outside your windows.
The memory of that night still made him smile.
Snowmoon raised itself on its hind legs, the little bell on its collar jingling. It propped its front paws against his knee, and chirped imploringly. Jing Yuan could only assume that he had been so engrossed in his gardening that the sound of the bell had gone unnoticed.
How did you get out? he wondered as he picked up the kitten, holding it up in front of him. 
The kitten returned his gaze evenly with its brilliantly blue eyes and began to purr. Cradling it to his chest, he stood, intending to put the cat back inside. It had yet to learn that the birds of the garden were off-limits. And the birds had yet to learn what the sound of the bell signified.
But as he stood, he caught sight of another figure in the morning light. You were bundled up in several layers of clothing, seemingly ready to spend a while outside.
Jing Yuan frowned. “What are you doing out of bed, my love?” he asked. “It is still so early.”
You looked away, trying to hide the shy smile forming on your lips. You were still not used to the terms of endearment which he favored.
“I wanted to lend you a hand,” you said.
He appreciated the sentiment. But he found it difficult to imagine you crouching in the dirt like he had been. 
“There is no need, my dear, I am almost finished.”
Your mouth set in a stubborn line. “Then I will help with the last of it.”
The firmness in your voice made his heart flutter. He enjoyed all the work you put into getting to know him better. And he made sure to return it tenfold.
“Very well, my love. Let me just put this little rascal back inside.”
As he came outside once again, he found you crouched over the rosebush he had been working on, your long sleeves almost trailing in the dirt.
That will not do.
Jing Yuan pulled out the long ribbon holding his hair as he moved closer. Crouching behind you, he deftly wound it first underneath one sleeve, across your back, then underneath the other sleeve, tying it at your shoulder. His actions left your arms bare, sleeves far out of harm’s way. 
You shivered in the cold air, goosebumps forming on your newly exposed skin. 
Jing Yuan rubbed your arms, trying to get some warmth into your body. “You are still free to go inside.”
You huffed. “I will not.”
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple.
Handing you the pruning shears, he showed you where to prune, guiding your hands. The two of you chatted idly about the roses for a while, when he expected them to bloom and what colors he had planted. Then the topic moved to the future as a whole.
“Tell me, my love,” Jing Yuan said, wrapping his arms around you, “I know you have only been with me for a few short months, but how do you like it so far?” 
You leaned back against him, nestling further into his embrace.
“I enjoy it so very much. I appreciate the freedom I have, compared to the inner court. And…” You turned enough to meet his gaze, raising a hand to caress his cheek. “I have grown quite fond of the master of this house.”
He felt a smile tugging at his lips. “Oh? Do I need to be jealous of this man?”
“Perhaps,” you said, a smile lingering on your own mouth. “He has been very kind to me.”
“I suppose I shall have to be even kinder, then,” he said, before leaning in to press a kiss to your lips.
Maybe there really was something to the saying of ‘a cat well cared for may bring luck to its owner.’ Jing Yuan was certainly feeling very fortunate at that moment.
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Thank you so much for reading! Likes, comments, and reblogs are always greatly appreciated! If you like, you can check out my other works here. Love, Birin 💖
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Rebuild & Restore - Chapter 5
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I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS
Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 
All OC Characters belong to me
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2 weeks later.... Friday
Eli: There’s a refresher and a donut waiting for u at the L&D desk ms I don’t like coffee. 
Kiyana rolled her eyes with a grin as she texted Eli back. Josh narrowed his eyes as he watched Kiyana smile down at her phone. He tried to ignore it but when she started to actually giggle at the fucking phone he snuck around the kitchen counter and tried to get a peek at who she was texting but she caught on and quickly locked her phone and set down on the counter. 
“You need something?” She asked, rolling her eyes when his eyes glanced down at her phone.  “You got anything planned today or yall just gonna chill?” She asked, grabbing her lunch out of the fridge. When she turned back around he had her phone in his hands.“HEY!” She called out,  snatching her phone out of his hands. “What are you doing?” 
“You changed your password?” She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. 
“Why were you trying to go through my phone? We are div-” 
“Divorced. Yeah you keep bringing it up.”  She rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag. 
“I get off at 9. Will y’all be good until then?” Josh nodded, his jaw was clenched tight as he kept thinking about how Kiyana changed her password to her phone. Kiyana rolled her eyes at his attitude before walking out of the kitchen and towards the front door. 
“I love you!” She called out to the boys and Josh heard them call it back before the front door slammed shut. 
“Love you too.” He muttered before going to join his sons in the living room. 
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“So you at Dr. Daniels seem to be getting close.” Debra , the senior nurse stated as she eyed the drink in Kiyana’s hand. Kiyana shrugged
“He’s cool.” 
“Cool enough to be talking about asking you on a date.” Debra said, smirking when Kiyana snapped her head towards her. 
“No, we’re just friends.”  Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt. Her inner voice said. 
Debra rolled her eyes. “Honey, I helped deliver Elijah forty-something years ago and that man still doesn't bring me coffee everyday.”  Kiyana bit her lip and looked down the hall to where Eli was talking with another nurse. “Look, I know you just got divorced but shit, take the chance. You don’t have to fall in love with him.” Kiyanna sighed and shook her head, it was way too soon for her to even think about going on a date with another man. Her divorce was still fresh, like an open wound. 
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“ I think Key already talking to somebody else.” Josh blurted out as he, Trinity and Jon sat in their backyard, keeping a close eye on his two older boys who were swimming. He had put Kairo down for a nap. 
“Well you were fucking someone else while y’all were married so who cares.” Trin said, smacking Jon on his shoulder when he elbowed her in her ribs. “I mean what did you expect? Kiyana is very attractive and now she’s single.”  Trin shrugged. 
“Don’t kick the man while he’s down Trin.” 
“Yeah, damn Trinity. I thought we were better than that.” Josh tried to joke but Trinity was still very pissed off at him. “I know I fucked up. But it’s only been two weeks.” 
“How long is she supposed to wait? Until you’re ready for her to move on?” Trin rolled her eyes. “Leave that woman alone. Her life is no longer a concern of yours..”  Josh didn’t say anything as he brought his attention back to his sons. How was I supposed to get her back if she’s moved on already?
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“Fuck him” Shanté muttered. “Fuck him and his stupid mullet. It’s 2024, the eighties called, they want their hairstyle back.” She said giggling at her own joke.  Nikkita rolled her eyes from where she was sitting on their couch. 
“Tae, I been told you to stop messing with that man, She might've divorced him but he still loves her. You can’t compete with that.”  Shanté flipped off her best friend and took another swig from the wine bottle they were passing back and forth. 
“He told me he never wanted to be with me, Nikki.” Nikkita didn’t respond back because.. Duh. It was pretty obvious. Josh only hit Shanté up after the RAW tappings on Monday’s and as soon as he would fly back home to Pensacola he would block her, then start the cycle all over again the next Monday. Nikkita felt bad for her friend but she had also warned her the first time Shanté had told her she hooked up with Josh. 
Kiyana was Josh’s high school sweetheart and from experience, Nikkita knew that Shanté never stood a chance. 
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Kiyana let out a sigh of relief as she clocked out for the day. She can finally go home and be with her boys for 3 whole days.  Just as she was about to walk out the front door she heard her name being called. She turned and smiled once she saw it was Elijah. 
“Hey.” 
“Hey,” He said back slightly out of breath. “I ran all the way down here. Though I missed you.” He smiled at her. 
“You just caught me.” She said, feeling herself blush under the heat of his stare. “Wassup?” 
“I wanna take you out tomorrow night.” Kiyana blinked. “If it's too soon. I apologize, but I really like you Kiyana.” She clutched her purse strap tighter as she felt the butterflies in her tummy start to rumble around.  Kiyana only got that feeling with one man before and she had just divorced him two weeks ago. 
Elijah sighed as she just stared at him. “It’s too soon isn’t it?”  Kiyana quickly broke out of her stupor and shook her head. 
“No,” She cleared her throat. “ I would love to go out with you” 
“Yeah?” Eli asked. “Bet, do you have a babysitter for tomorrow?” Kiyana nodded. “Okay, tomorrow at 8. Text me your address.” 
Kiyana bit her lip as she watched him run back into the hospital, the butterflies more intense as she thought about their date tomorrow night. She let out a groan and let her head fall back, looking towards the sky. She was so fucking screwed. 
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Kiyana got her first date since the divorce.. Josh about to be soooooooooooooooooooooooooo fucking petty 😭, y'all just don't understand.
Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 
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merakiui · 2 days
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Mera Mera Mera Meraaaaahhhhh!
I am so down bad for the octo trio and am even more in love when it's stepcest, sorry your honor I'm a freak. 😔🤚
First the yan Floyd step-son! He's gonna show his mama that he's got his papa's genes too. And now that Papa is outta the picture, Floyd wants first dibs before he has to share with his silly brother. Spoiled boy wants to give only the best.
Then Ebb and Flow! When Jade said "Your not her only brother." I screamed internally and how he insinuated that he's dipped his wick when shes been sleeping! And since Azul grew up with these weirdos has he been treated to the similar teasing (but where they are kinda mean about it. 'You know we've noticed you staring Azul. We get that she's nice looking but watch those eyes. Just because we're a little freaky doesn't mean we're open to sharin' her.' [not that Floyd or Jade for that matter wants to...but just dangle the bait in front of Azul] kinda vibe.) I need to save this fic (among some other of your works) in my kindle to revisit because they have stuck themselves in my braiiiiiin!!!
AAAA yes yes!!!! I love Octavinelle stepcest. We will be freaks together, sweet anon. („ᵕᴗᵕ„)
Stepson Floyd who has always been so spoiled... making sure to give you the railing of your life now that he has you all to himself and no longer has to hold back (temporarily because Jade will want to have a go with you very soon). He's just so obsessed with you. He loves his mama to pieces!!!!
Ebb and Flow!Jade with the secret somno reveal...... oooooo he's the worst!!!! So sneaky... and if he knocked you up it'd seem like something careless Floyd would do (never Jade; certainly not! He's a good boy. <3)...... Jade setting his brother up for trouble while having plenty of fun with you when you're asleep. You're none the wiser, but your body seems to know something because you've felt so warm around Jade lately...
Oh, they are so unfiltered around Azul. The twins openly discuss how pretty you are in very non-platonic ways and Azul has to listen to these weirdos carry on about whether or not they think you'd spit or swallow their cum, what positions would be best to really have you screaming, if you'd let them mark you up. T_T they're both so shameless. Poor Azul... he just wants one cute café date with you, but he knows that will come at the cost of his sanity. It's an impossible battle... maybe the twins are willing to let him experience just a crumb of you, but if he gets too close they'll happily intervene and remind him he's just the childhood friend. Nothing more.
Maybe you and Azul sneak off to kiss and hold hands in private,,, secret relationship.......... which isn't so secret because the twins probably sniff the two of you out very quickly. ^^;;; still, it's fun to imagine. orz perhaps you have most of your "dates" at Azul's house without the twins. Sleeping over at his house and the two of you have to be quiet so you don't wake the house when you get nasty under the covers hehe.
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Birthday Wish | Jung Wooyoung
-> Pairing: Jung Wooyoung x Reader
-> Request: No. This is a repost from my old account.
-> Synopsis: Wooyoung surprises reader on her birthday.
-> Warnings: Pure self-indulgent fluff I wrote for my birthday last year.
-> Word Count: 944
-> Requests: Open.
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©️ 2024 woojoongstreasure - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead
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Likes, comments & reblogs are welcomed and appreciated, thank you. 
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“Happy Birthday, Jagiya!” Wooyoung screamed at the top of his lungs as he enters Y/N’s bedroom, interrupting the video call she is on with her friend who is currently overseas, working abroad for a year.   
Having not heard him come into her room until he screamed, she jumped and spun around quickly to face him and scold him. “What the fuck, Woo?”  
Instead of apologizing, he smiles wide, seeming proud of himself as he holds up the cake decorated with her favorite animal, which just so happens to be foxes, towards her and repeats what he had screamed a moment ago but this time more quietly. “Happy birthday!”   
“Thank you,” She sighs knowing she can’t be mad at the man who had stolen her heart the moment they met during their trainee days.   
He places the cake on her top of her dresser, before wrapping his arms around her and placing a sloppy kiss to her cheek. She scrunches up her face feeling the wetness against her cheek. Even though she should be used to his affection, after all the years of knowing him, her cheeks still burn red, heart racing.  
“Who is that?” they hear, reminding Y/N she’s still on a video call with her friend.  
“Shit,” she mumbles under her breath before picking up her phone, still wrapped in Wooyoung’s arms. “Sorry, it was just Wooyoung, coming to surprise me.”  
“That’s Wooyoung?” she questions, causing Y/N’s cheeks to grow hotter as her blush deepens. Her friend on the phone is the one she always goes to when she wants to talk about him and her massive crush on him. She’s one of the two people who know about it. While Yeosang didn’t tease her about it, her only female best friend sure did.  
“Hello,” Wooyoung leans on her shoulder, greeting her friend before she could properly introduce them.   
“Hi,” her friend greets back. “It’s nice to finally meet you but I must go. Just remembered I have a few things to do. Make sure our Y/Nnie has a lot of fun today!”  
“I definitely will!” he assures her.   
“Good,” she smiles. “I’ll talk to you later, Y/Nnie,” she adds before ending the call.  
Once the call is over, Wooyoung snatches her phone out of her hand and slides it into his pocket before picking up the cake and walking out of her bedroom without saying anything.  
“What are you doing?” she asks, following him and sounding a little annoyed. “Give me my phone back.”  
“Ya!” He growls and slaps her hand away when she tries to take it from his pocket. “You can have it back later.”  
“But what if eomma calls me,” she pouts, glaring at him.   
“I’ll talk to her,” he replies as they reach the kitchen. He puts the cake on the kitchen counter and turns to face her. “We both know that she loves me more.”  
“Only because she doesn’t have an actual son,” she scoffs. She’s the eldest of three daughters. It’s her mother who always goes on about having no sons, unlike her sister who has four sons and no daughters. “And I’m pretty sure she loves Yeosang and Yunho more than you.”  
He looks at her like she just offended him by suggesting he isn’t her mother’s favorite. He’d been the second to meet her mother, after Yeosang who’s known Y/N since they were babies, their families being neighbors since before they were born.  
“If she wants an actual son, I’ll just marry you and make it official,” he says as he rummages through one of her kitchen drawers to find the matches she keeps for her candles.  
Y/N freezes, her cheeks burning red even more than before, her heart thumping against her chest and her mind racing with thoughts that she’s unable to speak aloud due to not being able to speak at all in this moment.  
When she doesn’t say anything, he looks at her, his face the most serious she’s ever seen it. “What do you say? Should we get married?”  
“I uh... I,” her brain was malfunctioning as she tried to pull together a sentence that would make sense.  
“I should probably take you on a date first,” he says more to himself as he lights the candle on the cake. He picks it back up and brings it over to her. She’s still standing there looking at him, stunned. “Make a wish,” he adds holding the cake up higher.  
“Are you being serious?” she asks, finally able to speak even though her heart and mind are still racing. “You can’t say stuff like that if you-”  
She’s cut off by Wooyoung crashing his lips to hers, stunning her even more. “I’m being serious. I’ve been in love with you since we met too,” he tells her, his beautiful deep brown eyes boring into hers, letting her know just how serious he’s being. “We won’t get married right away but I want you to know that if we start a relationship, I’m in it for life. That includes marriage, kids, and everything else that comes with it. Now make a wish.”  
“I don’t need to anymore,” she tells him tell him before blowing out the candle. She takes the cake from him, putting it back on the kitchen counter, before pulling him in for another kiss. “I now have everything I could wish for.”  
Before Wooyoung could respond, her phone lets her know she’s got a notification. He takes it out of his pocket and hands it to her. She unlocks her phone and finds a text from Yeosang.  
‘Happy Birthday, Y/Nnie! Enjoy your day with Woo. Thank me later tonight.’ 
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youandiwerealive · 16 hours
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Só quero ir para casa, para ti [rd]
Author’s note: my best friend described this as “disgustingly cute”, so here you have some cute dad!Rúben to compensate for the last one 🫣 thank you to the anon who requested this, hope you enjoy it! Mwah mwah
wc: 1601- English is not my first language! Feedback is always appreciated
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Rúben absolutely hates being far from you, especially now that you’re pregnant with your second baby.
He is currently in Abu Dhabi with the team, preparing the upcoming season. Not only is he 4 hours ahead in the clock, he is also full of trainings and recovery sessions - leaving him so little time to talk to you.
You are now five months pregnant and your baby is starting to kick and move like crazy inside of you. You try your best to show everything to Rúben, not wanting him to feel left out for losing all these special moments. But, you both agree that video calls might help a bit to ease the sadness of being away from each other, but those minutes don’t really make up from all the time that Rúben spends without his wife, daughter and son.
Every time he looks at you through his phone screen, he can’t help but think how beautiful you look, the pregnancy glow really showing again - more and more each day now. He misses you like crazy, even just a couple of hours would already be too much time away from you and your family, but spending weeks so far is killing him already.
He especially misses sleeping next to your belly, wanting to feel as close to his boy as possible, while Matilde is wrapped strongly in his arms. He misses the way you would laugh when he peppered your belly with kisses. He misses talking to his children - having full conversations about every thing and anything at the same time, really. Always promising his entire love and dedication to the other love of his life, his baby - Dinis.
Rúben has been sad lately, thinking non-stop about all the times you call him, or send him videos of his son moving inside your belly. He hasn’t felt it yet. Every single time the baby decides to move, he’s not around, and when he is, Dinis decides to keep quiet.
“Maybe he is just shy. He’ll move for you when he feels like it, we can’t rush these things” - you would always say to him, trying to get a bit of all the guilt Rúben held upon his shoulders to go away. Why wouldn’t the light of his life kick for him? He even smiled at the first time you told him in between laughs ‘he’s not kicking because he’s afraid that you’ll tackle him’. Yeah, jokes about him being a footballer and his son not kicking around him.
But lately he has been feeling down, his mind thinking about that all the time. What if his baby gets here and doesn’t feel comfortable enough around him? He would always move to the sound of her mom’s voice, but not to his. Matilde was a very active baby, always moving and kicking to the sound of her dad’s voice - totally a daddy’s girl, still today being always glued to him, playing him with, sleeping with him, cuddling with him.
Either way, Rúben is tired, missing you, his princess and his baby. You are video chatting once again, him seeing how his boy’s tiny feet would mark your belly and talking to his princess, Matilde. He tries to smile, glad to see his baby moving once again, even if he’s not there to feel the sensation.
You can sense that he is a little down, but you try to shrug it off since he said he was feeling tired and sleepy.
“Tenho tantas saudades vossas” (I miss you so much) - he says lowly, like his voice is threatening to start shaking if he speaks any louder.
You smile, understanding why he is so down. “We miss you too” - you say to your husband, noticing how his face falls.
However, the voice of his angel on earth brings a smile to appear on Rúben’s face. “Volta rápido, papá” (come back soon, daddy) - Matilde says, showing his daddy her newest growing teeth, that has been giving her mommy so much trouble and sleepless nights.
“Eu já só quero ir para casa, para vocês” (I just want to go home, to you) - by the way he is talking portuguese to you, you know he really means it. He takes the value of saudade very seriously, no translation can do that feeling justice.
Rúben goes to sleep with a headache. Maybe he should stop pushing his baby, stop begging him to kick into his hand. Maybe he should go back home with a different mindset. Trying to fight some kind of war with his son really sounds crazy to him, and he kind of hates himself for being so annoyed about something so trivial as that.
When he finally goes home, after so many weeks apart, you and Matilde are waiting home to greet him, you even cooked your daughter’s favourite cake - she insisted so she could share it with her daddy on their usual tea party, something that has became a tradition between Rúben and her already.
Berny the bunny and Johnny the bear are patiently waiting on the three year old girl’s lap for her most important guest to arrive - the little girl anxiously setting every thing up.
When you hear the door handle click open, Matilde immediately runs to the door.
“Papá, papá! You’re home!” - she girl screams as Rúben immediately picks her up and wraps her on his arms, taking in the wonderful and unmistakable scent of his daughter, breathing deeply and hugging her tightly, scared that she would run away if he puts her down - but she would never run away, she loves her daddy more than anything in this world, his embrace is her favourite place to be. The little girl wraps her tiny arms around her daddy’s neck even tighter, telling him how much she loves him and how much she missed him every day that he was away.
That alone made some tears appear in Rúben’s eyes, walking with his princess still in his arms, going to greet you with a passionate kiss, missing you like death. His hand instinctively goes to your belly - nothing happened. But Rúben is not going to worry about that anymore. He has his family by his side again, and that’s all that matters to him.
After the tea party with Matilde and a small family dinner, the little girl was already fast asleep on her father’s chest - never letting go of him since he arrived, and Rúben silently thanked her for that, really in need to feel his light near him as well, begging her to illuminate him a little more. Which she does, all the time, even if she doesn’t realise it. Rúben is already feeling lighter, being home near you and his babies helping him a lot with his mood.
After putting your sleepy daughter in her room, you and Rúben finally have some time to yourselves. He immediately wraps you in his arms, cuddling you close to him, hugging you and kissing your neck, face, shoulder, anywhere he could reach.
“Amo-te tanto” (I love you so much) - Rúben softly speaks in your ear, making your heart tingle like it’s the first time he is saying those words to you.
“We love you too” - you smile as you grab his hands that were already touching your belly, massaging your baby boy now.
Rúben smiles and tries his best to not think about the kicking topic.
“Is my boy behaving? Hope you’re not giving mommy much trouble already” - he speaks softly to his son, with a smile on his face.
When those words leave his mouth, Rúben’s hand feels a light kick. His face shows a shocked expression, not really believing what’s happening.
“What was this? This wasn’t a kick, right?” - he asks you, his mouth still agape at the feeling. You laugh at his reaction.
“Yes, it’s a kick, babe. Our son is answering your question” - you kiss the shock out of his face.
“Are you, filho? Are you answering daddy?” - Rúben keeps talking to the baby, hoping that he would keep kicking, amazed at the feeling of his baby’s kick for the first time.
Dinis kicks two more times, harder now at the sound of his dad’s voice, and Rúben’s eyes are full of tears, all the emotion and happiness falling down his face already.
“I can’t believe he’s finally kicking to me” - he says, more to himself.
“He loves you so much, never doubt that” - you reassure him.
“Oh god, I love you so much, Dinis. Dad will always be by your side, to play football with you, to teach you everything about space and astronauts, to take care of you and lead you the way” - he confesses while hugging you tightly now.
Rúben knows how badly you wanted this to happen, just as much as him. And he’s not a religious man, but it’s like he could feel all your prayers on him now, feeling such a powerful love wrapping your hearts, feeling extremely grateful for you, for being such a supportive wife and for bringing to life his biggest dream, the biggest loves of his life, his babies.
When you’re together, everything feels better to him, he’s only happy when he is holding his wife and daughter strongly in his arm - and now you are preparing your family for another beautiful adventure, almost welcoming your baby boy into this world - soon to be Rúben and Matilde’s best friend.
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solarwonux · 14 hours
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Business Proposal || knj (9/?)
pairing: namjoon x f!reader || ex friends to lovers!au friends to lovers!au
Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, fwb!au, non idol!au, unrequited love
Warnings: slow burn, angst, fluff, flirting, semi-edited, smut, fingering, eating out, unprotected sex.
Rating: mature, 18+
w.c: 8.0
Synopsis: Namjoon is living on borrowed time, and it’s time to cash in. His father is months from taking his last breathe and his life long dream is to watch his oldest son say “I do.”
A/n: lol, hello, I'm sorry for being so MIA lately. I kinda have had half of this written since November but my mom came to visit me in Korea and I forgot about it haha. If you are still here thank you for sticking around! Enjoy! Let me know your thoughts!
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10 Years Ago
Things were finally looking up.
“If you just remember everything we have gone over you'll be fine.” He simply says like it's no big deal, waving you off. 
You on the other hand are filled with the gnawing pain of your nerves. As you look down at your notebook filled with an equal mixture of correct and incorrect answers. 
Maybe things weren't really looking up. 
“I think we should do a few more.” You rush out, flipping to a new page. In that exact moment, the buzzer in Namjoon's hand goes off, and he stands up. 
He pushes in his chair and walks to stand beside you, putting a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Over studying is not the answer.” He says gently, giving your shoulder a light squeeze before walking away to pick up your drinks. 
Your protest dying as you burn daggers into his back. You aren't sure if it's a good thing that he has so much faith in you. When you don't have an ounce in yourself. Especially when in two days you'll hopefully end your misery with the dreaded math final. 
It's been two whole months since you've started your weekly tutoring sessions with Namjoon. You aren't completely lost in class anymore. If you are, you just come to the broad man and drown him in all kinds of questions. With this tactic you've even managed to get an eighty-five present in your last math test. 
The only thing left for you to pass is the stupid final.
You have been seeing Namjoon a lot more this week. Scheduling, and practically begging him to squeeze you into his tight schedule since Monday. A request to brush up on equations and gain some clarity on things you might have forgotten. To say the least, your test anxiety has reached a whole new level. You visibly look exhausted, your skin is oilier than usual, sporting a few painful pimples on your chin, and your hair looks so greasy despite just washing it in the morning. You should feel slightly ashamed for even leaving your house looking like a hot mess, but your thoughts are suffocating. Staying in would make the panic in the pit of your stomach worse. 
Especially when you and your tutor have recently discovered your inability to do word problems. The main reason why you keep calling Namjoon at three in the morning. Even though he thinks you're just being paranoid, especially with the silent sigh of defeat you hear through your phone speaker. He tries his best to reassure you that you're going to be fine at the end of the day. 
“There will probably be three, five at most. He had said last night when you called. 
Thankfully he had stayed up revising his final paper, instead of being three dimensions deep in dream land like on Sunday when you called. Still, even though he had muttered out a tiny complaint, he stayed on the line with you. Until you were calm enough to fall asleep again. 
In just three months your acquaintance has blossomed into a full on friendship. Along with your sneaking suspicion that both Taehyung and Jimin like him better. It was obvious last Friday night when Jimin had a small end of the semester get together at his apartment. Namjoon got so drunk he performed the entirety of Grease Lightning on karaoke. Including the dance break with special guest and step brother Jeon Jungkook. 
Later on in the night the older of the four cried about the final scene in the Titanic. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, but heartwarming to be able to see a different side of the Philosophy student. 
“Look who decided to join us.” You jump, placing your pen down in your notebook, closing it to hold your page. You turn around, feeling a wide smile come onto your face when you lock eyes with the other source of your happiness these last few months. 
“Hobi,” you exclaim, holding your arms out to him. He chuckles, and leans down giving you one of those awkward hugs one gives when the other person is sitting down. It only lasts a few seconds and then he is leaning his head back to plant a sloppy kiss on your cheek, making you cringe. 
“Ew,” you pout, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. He chuckles, pecking your lips lightly and then taking the seat next to you. 
“Joon says you need a break from being a math wizard.” He chuckles, dragging your notebook to him. He places his arms over it keeping it hostage.
You whine crossing your arms in front of you, pouting like a child. “But what if I don't pass. I don't want to have to take the class a third time.” 
Namjoon shakes his head, sets your chamomile tea in front of you, and sits down. “I already told you, you won't. I did the math last night. Even if you get a sixty five percent, you'll still be able to pass the class with a B.” He states firmly and takes a sip from his coffee. 
You huff, sinking further into the chair. “I don't want a B, I want an A.” 
Hoseok snakes an arm over your shoulders and brings you close to his side.” “Then you will pass the class with an A honey cakes.” He kisses your temple before resting his cheek on top of your head. You take a deep breath, nodding and snuggling closer to him.
“So are you two dating now?” Namjoon leans back in his seat, crossing his arms in front of him.
Hoseok waves an arm, brushing off the question that has been surrounding the two of you these past three weeks. “You know it's not like that.” He answers before you can. He pulls his arm away and sets them both on top of your notebook. He sends you a knowing wink. 
“Yeah you out of all people should know it's not like that.” You back up Hoseok, sticking your tongue out at the other. “How's Rina by the way?” You challenge making the man next to you burst out in a fit of giggles. 
You see, most of the things Jungkook told you about Namjoon prior to your first meeting have all been lies. Or just not the whole truth.
Namjoon was a broody person. He did put his studies as one of his priorities in life. And he didn't want a relationship. 
Yet in the last few months you have gotten to know the career driven man. You've also managed to peel back some of his layers. 
He did have his moments of indignation, but he could also be very playful and funny. This side mostly comes out when Hoseok is around or when he wants you to get your mind off the things that have been stressing you out. He does have a strong work ethic, but he also knows when to take a break. 
There have even moments in your tutoring slash now study sessions when he forces you to take walks. He says it helps clear your head, but you also know it's his way to get his ideas to flow again whenever he feels stuck. 
During these walks you've managed to find out more things about him. He loves museums because he's shit at art, and knowing that there are people out there who aren't makes him appreciate the art a lot more. At least once every two months he visits the tree he and his father planted his mother’s ashes at to update her on his life. He cares so much for Jungkook and his mother even if he doesn't show it all the time. And despite not wanting a relationship he has been head over heels for the girl he's been casually hooking up with for the last two years. 
Though he won't come out and say it himself. You have witnessed the way his face settles down into something calmer. And his eyes light up whenever his phone rings and her name pops up on the screen.
He once spent thirty minutes talking about a joke she had told him one night. Spoiler alert, it wasn't a good one, but it was adorable watching him try to get it out in-between chuckles. 
You also know he shares the same negative sentiment Jungkook has about your current relationship with his best friend. But just like he claims that his relationship with Rina is complicated. So, is yours with the ray of sunshine you get to now call friend.
“She's fine.” He shrugs, clearing his throat and looking out the window. You share a look with Hoseok before letting out a fit of shared giggles. 
If someone had once told you that your strict math tutor slash friend would turn into a shy mess with just the simple mention of a name. You would've thought they were fucking with you. Even if it still surprises you a little bit. 
“You should just ask her to be your girlfriend.” Hoseok chimes in. 
Namjoon throws his head back groaning. “It wouldn't work out if I do, plus that would require for me to act like a boyfriend and I'm not ready for that kind of commitment.” He speaks with his eyes trained on the high ceiling of the cafe. 
You lean forward placing your elbows on top of the table and wrapping your arms around the hot mug. “You already do Namjoon. A switch of labels is not going to change anything. And don't you think she deserves some kind of confirmation and respect when it comes to your relationship?” You finish tilting your head to the side. 
“I do respect her though, which is why I don't want to ask her, like you just said a label won't change anything.” 
You let out a sigh, “I didn't say that you didn't respect her. I just think that from a girl's perspective she might be feeling a little bit confused with your words and actions. You say the two of you aren't anything serious but then you act like you can't live without her. If I was in her shoes I would feel very frustrated. So, maybe you don't have to make this big grand gesture or ask her to officially be your girlfriend but just clarify things between the two of you. If you aren't serious about her then so be it but if you are then tell her that.” You finish and take your first sip from your tea. 
“I agree with honey cakes, just be a little more straight forward that's all.” Hoseok shrugs before standing up. 
Namjoon rolls his eyes, and looks between the two of you. “And what about you?” He counteracts childishly. You knew it was coming. In his eyes the two of you giving him advice when you're in a similar situation is a bit hypocritical. Plus you and Hoseok are on the same page so it's di–
“That's different.” Hoseok speaks before you. “And this is about your love life not ours.” He states stuffing his hands in his pockets. 
“Whatever.” Namjoon brushes off. You sigh, aware that if you choose to continue the conversation it will end in the three of you having a petty argument. You look at Hoseok as he leans down, placing a delicate kiss on your cheek, making the man witnessing the affectionate gesture scoff in annoyance. 
If he wants to say something he doesn't voice it instead he opens his leather bound notebook to a new page. 
Hoseok ignores him and stands up straight. “Are we still on tonight?” 
You nod. “I can't stay for long though I want to catch up on sleep.” 
“Fine then just one movie it is.” He winks before turning on his heels. Leaving you behind with the grumpy man. He looks up from his journal, opening his mouth, but you raise a hand to stop him. “It's different Namjoon.” 
Namjon clicks his tongue in annoyance and shrugs. “Whatever, let's just do one more world problem before calling it a day.” 
“Fine,” you huff, sliding your notebook in front of you and opening it to a clean page. 
Just one more day and you'll be free from this torture. 
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Hoseok's apartment is everything you expect from the maximest man. Just upon walking in you are hit with waves of bright colors. By the doorway there are different KAWS figurines that you can only imagine cost a fortune. Yet they greet you with their x'd out eyes as you remove your shoes. 
Then you have to pass by the Supreme beaded curtain to finally enter the living room. A bright red leather couch is settled in the middle. With wine colored pillows and a black throw blanket that you've adopted since the first night you spent in Hoseok's arms.
Abstract art lines the walls behind the television. There are more figurines lining the shelves in between books, records, and framed pictures of his friends and families. Along with a few miscellaneous items that he's told you he's obtained over the years.
His TV is huge. Takes up almost the whole wall, but your favorite to watch movies since he installed a surround system upon moving in years ago. 
You still remember the first night he invited you over. It was after spending two whole weeks texting non stop. He simply asked if you wanted to watch a movie with him and you thought why not. 
One night led to another and now another. It always starts the same. The two of you spend days teasing one another through text. Lewd texts along with pictures. You come over for a movie and then you end up underneath him. 
When it's over, he lets you use his shower while he orders takeout from the vegan restaurant a block down the road. And the two of you resume watching the movie as if neither of you were panting each other's names in pleasure. 
A simple arrangement with absolutely no strings attached.
It was what you were expecting when you came over tonight. Not that you don't mind the nights in which you do come over and nothing happens other than the deep hearted talks over a slow record playing in the background. But that wasn't happening either, because ever since you arrived at his doorstep, the overzealous man has been quiet. Biting the inside of his cheek and moving around you far enough to raise suspicion. 
It has your mind traveling back to the conversation that occurred in the afternoon. Was Hoseok having second thoughts? Or was there more to his actions than what you were picking up? 
“Hobi,” you whisper the minute he enters his living room with a bowl of popcorn stepping over your legs that were resting on his coffee table. He silently settles down next to you, on the other side of the couch with a gap wide enough to fit a person in between. 
Now you're more than positive that something is wrong. 
You groan, “I think I'll just go home then.” You mumble, pushing the throw blanket of your shoulders. 
This is enough to catch his attention. His eyes are wide behind his dark rimmed glasses and he sits up. “What why?” He tilts his head in confusion. 
A dry chuckle escapes your lips. “You obviously don't want me around, so I'll just go. I need to go to sleep early anyway.” You shrug, slipping your feet in his fuzzy slippers and swiftly start making your way to grab your stuff in his room. 
“No I–wait.” Finally, he speaks up, earning an eye roll from you that he can't see as your back is still turned. 
With haltered steps you spin on your heel to face him again, “What? You've been acting strange since I got here. So, if you don't want me around I will just go home.” 
At lightning speed he sets the bowl of popcorn on his coffee table, and stands up. He makes hasty steps towards you and when he is finally standing in front of you, he sets both of his hands on top of your shoulders. 
“Don't leave…I'm sorry.” Hoseok's eyes cast down past your face. They settle upon the graphic on your old washed out t-shirt. He takes a deep breath and looks up again. His face twists into something you can't decipher. It's a look you've never seen him wear, and it settles hard into your chest. 
He looks troubled, chewing on the inside of his cheek. His eyes dart to five different focal points. You know he's arguing with himself. When he finally looks at you in your eyes again. You can't help but shrink a little bit. 
His features have hardened, and you want to reach out to smooth over the little worry lines in the middle of his forehead. Guilt washes over you. 
For what? 
You don't know but you hope more than anything that you'll soon find out. 
“Can we talk?” He speaks up, letting his arms fall down, his knuckles brushing against your skin. 
For a second you think he's going to pull away. Retrieve into his body, but when he grabs your hands and laces his fingers with yours. The guilt in the pit of your stomach dissipates and you're left with confusion. 
When you don't answer his question, he repeats himself. This time differently, “I just think we need to talk, I've been thinking since this afternoon. I want to check up on you, and I guess us.” He clarifies, and now you're filled with a different kind of emotion. As much as you're relieved that you didn't do anything wrong per se. You are slightly annoyed that he couldn't just tell you that when you first arrived. Instead of ignoring you until you reached your breaking point. 
Frustrated, you say slowly, “Then just say that, instead of ignoring me.” 
Hoseok closes his eyes and sighs, nodding his head before speaking, “you're right I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind and I am not sure how to bring any of what I'm thinking about up.” 
“Hobi, just say it. We agreed on clear communication when we realized that this was going to be more than just a one night stand.” You sigh, beginning to walk in the direction of his couch, stringing him along. “Whatever is on your mind, just say it.” You push him onto his couch and take the seat next to him, your body fully facing his, and you fold your legs beneath you. 
He nods, running a hand down his face. “I don't think this is working anymore.” He whispers, eyes trained on his ceiling. 
Okay you were definitely not expecting that, but instead of voicing your surprise, you squeeze his hand. Encouraging him to continue. 
He does, “I think I'm slowly falling for you, well I don't know I'm confused about my feelings.” He whispers the end and falls quiet. 
As much as you want to run away and hide at his confession. He looks troubled and you wouldn't be a good friend if you just left him to wallow in his thoughts. No matter the pressure that has settled in your chest. Or the fact that your heart thinks you're running a marathon, making your ears feel like they're about to fall off too. 
With every passing moment you're finding that it's getting harder to breathe. You aren't dumb, the atmosphere has also changed, but it isn't because of his confession. It's because you are also a bit confused about your feelings.
You clear your throat, “W-What are you confused about?” 
He stops his staring game with the ceiling, shifting his whole body to finally face you. “Do you know why both Kook and Joon are so against us?” 
The question throws you off guard but you suppose it has to do with what he's going through. You do have an idea as to why your friends are raising a brow at your relationship. Jungkook’s warning the first day you met the barista is enough for you to get a rough idea of what they mean. But you want to hear it from him. 
Still you don't know if you can trust your voice so you shake your head. 
He continues, “I've never been in a relationship because I don't trust people to love me the way I know I can love them. So, I just sleep around, and when I get bored I break it off.” 
 “I know. They warned me about you when you immediately showed interest. And trust me I knew what I signed up for when we agreed to keep seeing each other. I don't expect anything more than what we are doing.” You tilt your head to the side.
“I know that's why I'm confused. At first that's all I expected and wanted. But then I don't know I feel so full and empty when I'm with you. I don't want you to leave when the night is over. You're the last thing I think about and the first thing I want to see. I've never felt this sure and comfortable with anyone ever, and I don't know what to do because we both know this isn't forever, your forever is with someone else, and so is mine. But for now I just want to be with you and know what it's like to fall in love and with you.” He takes a deep breath. “Even if it's just for a little bit. You know that next year I'll be leaving for that design school, and I'm sorry but nothing and no one is going to stop me. I've waited too long for this opportunity. I know I'm being selfish to ask you this, but can you please find it in your heart to let me be yours until then?” 
Hoseok finishes. And you're left to your own devices. To deal with your emotions as they spill out of you in hot tears. You've never had someone confess to you so passionately before. Actually nobody has ever bothered. And even though it's semi depressing you can't help but feel on cloud nine with all his words wrapping around you in the warmth that he radiates. 
Without thinking you kneel, and wrap your arms around his neck. “Okay let's do it.” You beam and he matches your smile. He leans in to kiss you but you place your hand over his mouth to stop him. 
Confusion plagues him like a bitter sting. You laugh, “But only if you agree that when everything is over there's no drama between us, and if I ever get married you have to design my wedding dress.” You remove your hand, and cradle his cheek, rub your thumb over his eyebrow. 
He chuckles, rolling his eyes. “You will get married.” 
“Nah, but it's okay. I've accepted my faith.” You shrug, resting your forehead against his. His hands come up your cheek, squishing them slightly.
“You will honey cakes, that's why I'm already planning your dress design in my head.” He wipes your forgotten tears, and tilts your head to the side. 
You feel your breathing get faster, as his heart shaped lips rest centimeters apart. “How are you so sure?” You whisper, swallowing thickly at the end. 
He smirks, with a glint in his eye. Like he knows something you don't, “because I know someone who is also falling for you but they’re to dumb to notice “ 
“Who?” 
“Secret,” he says before finally crashing his lips onto yours.
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Hoseok’s room is equally as loud as his living room. It’s a little more diluted with simple decorations and a huge abstract painting on the wall in front of his bed. His bed takes up most of his space, adoring a black duvet with black sheets. He has three pillows and two of those you’ve taken ownership of. His brown dresser holds little trinkets of things he buys or finds in the pockets of his pants. It’s also home to a series of designer colognes. Your favorite one was definitely Terre d'Hermes. Somehow the smell always fills with comfort. 
Your favorite part of his room–other than his bed–was his desk. They say you can tell a lot about a person by just looking at their work space. 
He’s a messy artist. His sketches are always thrown around, or pinned on the corkboard hanging over his desk. He has two bookshelves filled with sketchbooks and magazines. Sometimes if you’re lucky he will leave his sketchbooks open, awarding you with a small glance of his work. He has different notebooks for different magazine cutouts. Each one labeled something like, ‘street’ or ‘formal’ or ‘one-day.’ The latter always peaks your interest but you’ve never thought to ask. He has a thousand different sketching materials, and so many colorful markers. You just know that he was that kid in class with the sixty-four crayola back. 
He's passionate about his craft. A passion that shines through everything that he does. Especially when he’s sharing that passion with you. Now, as he lays you down onto his soft mattress. He kisses his way down your neck, slowly pushing your shirt up to reveal your stomach and the few stretch marks that appeared one day in your early adolescent years. 
For years it was hard to be intimate with someone in fear that they would disgust your partner. But the one thing you learned while growing up was that most men didn’t give a shit unless they were getting it. 
Yet Hoseok, your boyfriend, now. 
He cares. 
In a good way. The first time he saw you naked he almost came in his jeans. Your curves were all in the right places. You have enough skin to grip onto, and he loves all the marks and imperfections your body has. 
He couldn’t understand why you were so beautiful in the soft glow of his bedroom lights? Why he didn’t have the words to describe how his heart was literally beating against his ribcage?  Why for the first time in his casual dating experience he feared he wouldn't be able to give you the pleasure you deserved? 
So, that first night together, he took his time. Trying to get his thoughts under control. He painted your body with featherlight kisses. Determined to leave his trace imprinted in your body for however long you two would engage with each other. 
Everytime you came over. He did just that. He took his time, choreographing a dance with your body. It was a no-brainer that he had fallen for you. Something he knew shouldn’t have happened. He had plans for himself. He had a future mapped out since he was teenage. Though, he had the sneaking suspicion that you wouldn’t stop him from achieving his goals. That you would support him through everything. He should’ve stopped his feelings for you from growing. 
He kept them quiet until his portfolio got accepted. Until he saw the brief glances Namjoon gave you when he thought you weren’t looking. Perhaps it was the jealousy that made him confess. Or that his time with you was now limited. Whatever the reason was that led him to his confession, he only hoped that you felt the same. 
You giggle, the beautiful melodic sound grounds him as he wraps a calloused hand around your right breast, circling his thumb around the pebble. 
You're his girlfriend now. 
He, your boyfriend and he will bring down the moon for you tonight if you asked him too. 
“What’s so funny?” His curious stare meets your amused one. 
You had failed to keep your giggles at bay while he made out with you on his couch. He let a few of his own out when he had had enough of kissing and grinding in his living room, and guided you into his room. 
He loved the sound, and he loved that it was only because after months of dancing this tango you were still shy underneath him. 
“Nothing, it’s just that Mickey is staring at us.” You whisper gasping when he grinds his lower half against yours. Hoseok playfully rolls his eyes, reaching and turning around the newly added picture of his family dog on his bedside table. No more prying dog or human eyes around to interrupt the two of you. 
His attention returns to you. Gaze burning with lust as he leans down, pecking your lips lightly. “Can you stay over?” He says, kneading your breast again. The teasing touches were driving you insane. But this is how you preferred it. Slow and intense, tangling your body with his, until the two of you became one. 
“I’ll make an exception if you promise to drive me to my class tomorrow with a free coffee.” You smile, pushing your chest into his hand. 
He shook his head, reaching down to your lips. “Hustler.” He mumbles, capturing your mouth in a slow sensual kiss. “You got yourself a deal baby girl.” 
Your body shudders at the nickname. He only used it when it was just the two of you. He knew the effect it had on you. “Can I take your shirt off now?” He smirks. 
You let out a pleasurable sigh, nodding your head, before verbalizing a soft, “yes.” 
He pulls away, sitting back on his heels, peeling his shirt off before helping you with yours. He discards the two of them somewhere behind him. He pulls you towards him again, resting his forehead against yours. A bright smile adorning his perfect face. 
It makes your stomach crumble, knowing that from this moment on.
Hoseok would always be the one who got away. 
Your big “what if.” 
Your biggest treasure. Your safe place. Your blueprint for a future with someone else. The love story that was made to end. But one that burned so bright that would have you telling your future daughter to never be afraid of love. 
“Can we go slow today?” You run your hands down his torso, playing with the belt buckle of his expensive belt. 
“I’ll go at whatever pace you want me to go, baby girl.” He reassures,  his fingers play with the bra strap that had fallen down your shoulder. 
You tilt your head, looking at him with soft eyes. And he swears he feels himself melt. 
The next few minutes were a mess of soft kisses and clothes being discarded. Each article of clothing, landing with a soft ‘thud’ against his bedroom floor. You’re on cloud nine, his lips kiss down your neck, your collarbone. His hands part your thighs, baring your cunt to him. He sits back, mouth watering at how wet you are. He couldn’t wait for a taste. 
He could never wait. And he never did. 
He kisses your mound before wrapping his lips around your clit. He savors the sigh that escapes your mouth. He smirks when he immediately feels you grip his hair, pushing him further. Just like he couldn’t resist, you also couldn’t.
He sucked, distracting you from his finger circling around your entrance making you gasp in surprise when you feel him insert one. Slowly thrusting it as he licked you like a man who has been starved for weeks. 
“Hobi,” You sigh, pushing his head further. He fingers you faster until he feels you clench around him, and he stops, making you whine. 
“Please,” you plead. He chuckles against you, inserting another finger. This time he doesn’t give you time to adjust. You feel him thrust into you with no hesitation. His mouth sucking on your clit, swirling his tongue around it playing with the nub. 
You were withering, moaning his name, and anything your mind could conjure up in this moment. 
Overwhelmed with blissful pleasure, you grip his bed sheets, bucking your hips into his face. He groans, knowing you were on edge from how tight your grip on his head was now. And he did the one thing he knew would drive you insane. He slowed down, until he came to a complete stop. 
“Hoseok,” you groan, slamming your hand onto his comforter. He chuckles, lifting his head. Your body was flushed, your lips swollen, your hair splayed out around you. He loves bringing you to this moment. 
“You said you wanted slow.” He grins, taking his fingers out of your pussy. Loving the way it clenched over nothing now. Almost as if it was begging to be played with again. 
You roll your eyes, pouting. “Not this slow. I want to come.” You say, sitting up on your elbows. 
“Oh baby you will.” He winks, licking his fingers clean. He leans over, pecking your lips quickly. “You will come as many times as you want. But I want the first one to be around my cock tonight.” 
You gasp at his words. You knew his mouth was lethal but sometimes it still surprises you. The lust lacing with his soft timbre made you weak in the knees. 
“Fuck,” you whisper, grabbing his face and kissing him hard. 
The word ‘slow’ is forgotten from either of your vocabularies, while the two of you kiss hungrily. Sucking on tongues, teeth clashing, hands touching and clutching onto anything and everything. 
Hoseok lays you down on your side, climbing in behind you. His teeth nips at your bottom lip and he wrapped your leg around his hips. He kisses down your neck, while you help guide his cock to your entrance. He locks his eyes with yours as he slowly pushes himself in. His arms wrap around your torso, and he pushes you closer to his chest. 
Both of your heartbeats are in sync. Racing against the clock, basking in pleasure that you never want it to end. 
“Move please.” You say, lifting your face to kiss him. 
He begins to move his hips, making you gasp into each other's mouths. It’s a sloppy pace from the start but you don't care. You want more, so you met his thrusts halfway. One of his hands palms at your breast. He alternates between swallowing your moans and leaving his mark on anything he can get his lips on. 
“B-Baby.” He moans, resting his forehead on yours. “I’m close, are you?” He thrusts, letting out a low moan when he feels you clench around him.
He didn’t give you a minute to answer, before he was lifting your leg higher around his waist, allowing himself to reach the deepest part of you. “Touch yourself baby.” 
You moan his name, letting go of his hand, your finger meeting your clit, rubbing it in circles. Trying to keep up with his unrelenting pace. And soon you feel him still behind you, eyes shutting in pleasure as he spills himself inside of you. His orgasm triggers the coil in the pit of your stomach as you feel your release wash over you in a tidal wave, making you push his cock and cum out of you. His fingers frantically come down to meet yours as he helps you ride out your wave. He whispers praises against your skin while you come down.
Hoseok kisses your lips slowly, chuckling before whispering words that you will forever hold near and dear to your heart. 
“I love you.” He pushes your hair away from your face. “I love you so much to know that one day I’ll have to let you go.”
You giggle, turning in his arms, nuzzling your head into his neck. “I love you.” 
You feel him laugh, twinkling his fingers down your spine, “Let’s get matching tattoos.” 
You look up at him, raising a brow before shaking your head. “You just made me squirt, told me you loved me, and now you want to get matching tattoos?” 
“What better way to commemorate the best ego boost.” He shrugs. 
“You’re insane.” You untangle yourself from his embrace. You stand up, putting on his shirt. 
“I didn’t hear a no.” He says smugly, putting his arms underneath his head. 
“Because you’re an insane idiot who makes me agree to things like these.” You smile, before walking out of his room. 
“Great, I’ll make an appointment.” He shouts after you, “I love you.” He adds after a moment. 
You enter his kitchen, and turn on the lights. You can feel your smile take up your entire face. For a moment you realize that for the first time in a long time you felt happy. 
So yeah, maybe, things were finally looking up. 
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“You’re late.”
Namjoon says after taking a slow sip from his coffee. He looks at you from over the rim of his glasses. 
You roll your eyes, setting your bag down on the empty chair. “It's raining, and I forgot my umbrella. I had to wait for the rain to stop.”
“You could’ve texted to let me know.” He shrugs, setting his cup down on the coaster and flipping the page of his book. 
You sigh, before (gently) throwing your phone onto the table. “It’s dead. And before you ask, no I didn’t bring a charger. No, Jungkook wasn’t in class today so he couldn’t give me a charger, an umbrella, or a ride. Jimin is sick. And Taehyung doesn’t even go to our school. He's probably getting high with his new fling, so I wouldn’t have been able to ask him either.” You say, listing all the solutions he would’ve thought about in seconds. 
“Mhm,” he nods, closing his book. “And your boyfriend?”
Annoyed, you let out a whine, crossing your arms in front of you. “I don’t know, let me go downstairs and ask him. I’m sure he can stop managing a business to give me an umbrella.” 
Namjoon leans his elbows against the table. “Trouble in paradise?” He tilts his head, clasping his hands on top of his book. 
You shake your head, pulling out your chair and slumping down in it. “Hobi and I are fine. It’s not like he’s leaving in two months or anything.” You throw your hands up in exasperation. 
It’s month seven into your shining relationship with Hoseok, and you should’ve known that things would start to hit the fan sooner rather than Later. Your boyfriend was in the middle of the most tumultuous change of his life. Things were moving quickly and his time dedicated to you was bumped down his monstrous daily to-do list. 
Yet you couldn’t do or say anything because isn’t this what you signed up for? 
“Ah, so there is trouble.” Namjoon chuckles before opening his book again, setting his fancy leather bookmark aside. “This is exactly why I don’t do relationships, they just attract problems.” He adds, giving you a pointed look. 
You roll your eyes, “Shut up asshole, not all of us can be like you and Rina.” 
“Sure you can, it's simple just don't attach any strings to it.” He shrugs, underlining a sentence in his book. 
“Two people who have been only exclusively seeing each other for years literally the definition of strings attached. You can keep denying it all you want but she’s your girlfriend. You guys do all the couple-y stuff.” You grumble, leaning back in your chair, looking out of the window. The gloomy weather adds to your shitty mood. 
“She’s not, we are not dating, and I don’t need to talk about this with you again. Rina and I are on the same page.” He finishes, taking a long sip from his coffee.
“Well, how would you feel if Rina was spending time with another guy, completely ignoring your presence when you walk into her coffee shop all wet and angry because your professor basically told you your topic for your essay was shit.”
Namjoon smirks, leaning back in his chair. “Sounds like you’re jealous of Yuri.” 
“So what if I am?” You bite, “I understand that he’s training her to take over his position, but all he talks about is her and what he needs to teach her when we’re together. And whenever I come in they’re always laughing at something behind the coffee machine. And I know she’s nice and all but I would like his attention too.” You scoff. 
Namjoon hums, tapping his index finger against the table. “Do you trust him?” 
The question doesn’t catch you off guard, the obvious answer is on the tip of your tongue. But with how things have been going lately. You can’t help but hesitate. 
“I don’t know anymore.” You whisper looking down at your hands, turning the ring on your middle finger. “I know I should, and I do…I think I do. It’s just things have been so shit lately and I feel like a burden to him because of everything he has to do.” 
Namjoon lightly kicks your foot under the table, making you raise your head to meet his gaze. “I don’t know if I am being of much help, but he loves you. I know that whatever is happening he’s not doing it intentionally. Just talk to him about it.” 
If only it were that easy. 
“I’d love to but he never has time.” 
“Why not talk to him now then.” He says reaching into his bag to take out his cigarettes and lighter. 
“He’s busy downstairs with Yu–” 
“No, I’m not busy now.” 
You jump at the sound of your boyfriend's voice. You turn your head to look at him. A small tray with a mug of probably chamomile tea on top of it. His hair is shorter than the last time you saw him two days ago. He got a haircut and didn’t even tell you about it. That’s how low you have made it on his list. He can’t even send you a stupid picture of his new haircut. He can’t even send you a ‘goodmorning’ or ‘goodnight’ text. He also probably forgot that you were nervous for the meeting with your professor about your essay topic.
All these realizations make you want to roll into a ball and cry. You knew your time with Hoseok was limited. You just didn’t expect for the end to be so torturous. 
“That’s what I told her.” Namjoon speaks, narrowing his eyes at you for a second before turning his attention to his best friend. “She’s jealous of Yuri, because you’ve been spending too much time with her.” He shrugs, walking quickly to the stairs before you can bury him ten feet underground. 
You hear Hoseok let out a heavy sigh, and take the seat next to you. “Honeycakes,” he starts.
“Nice haircut.” You interrupt, slumping into your chair more. It earns another heavy sigh from the man sitting next to you. 
“Is Yuri the reason why you’ve been so upset lately?” He says placing a hand on top of your knee underneath the table. 
You let out a dry laugh before shaking your head. “No, it’s not her. It’s how you’ve been acting lately, it’s the time you’ve been spending with her. It's never having time for me anymore. It’s forgetting our date last week. It’s not even telling me that you got a haircut.” You finish, closing your fists to keep yourself from crying. 
Hoseok gives your thigh a squeeze before leaning back in his chair. “You know how things have been lately. I’m trying so hard to do everything I need to do. I don’t mean to be so dismissive but I can’t juggle everything at the same time.” 
You flick off a piece of lint from your jeans. “It’s nice to know that I’m just something you juggle around.” 
“That’s not what I meant. You knew what would happen when I started my application process. You said you understood.” 
“I did, or I thought I did Hoseok. I didn’t think I would become so secondary to you.” You sniffle. “I love that you’re chasing your dreams, but this is me trying to support you. I’m trying to understand how you’re feeling. But you stop me. You have shut me out and now I’m just something you remember sometimes.” You close your eyes, feeling the tears fall down your cheeks. 
The last thing you wanted was to be crying like this in public. 
“I-I want you to tell me when you’re having a hard time like you used to. I want you to feel like you can relax around me when we’re together. But every time we are together, we either argue, you don’t talk, or you talk about work, deadlines, or how you can’t wait to move. How do you think that makes me feel Hoseok?” 
Hoseok sighs, and wraps his arm around your shoulders. “I’m sorry.” He kisses your temple. “I wish you would’ve told me earlier before it got to this point.” He whispers, rubbing your back, while you lean your head onto his shoulder. 
“But Hobi like you said, this is what I signed up for. This is what I agreed to.”  You add bitterly. 
“Yes Honeycakes, but you’re still my girlfriend. And I know that I haven’t been the best boyfriend lately, but I do care about you and I do love you.” He lifts your head from his shoulder. He gently grabs hold of your face, making you look at him. “Just like how you want me to talk to you when something is bothering me, I also want you to talk to me.” 
You close your head sighing, “You’re right, I’m sorry that I keep making things difficult.” 
He shakes his head. “You don’t. I’m the one that can’t seem to keep my girlfriend from doubting me. I’m the one who hasn’t told her how much I yearn to be in her presence at every waking moment.” He says, his thumbs wiping away your tears. “I love you, and I think that’s why I’ve been so avoidant lately. I know that our days are numbered and I would rather ignore the fact that I’m moving away soon than cherish the moments I get to spend with my family, my friends and you.” 
You nod, holding out your pinky out to him. “I promise to keep trying my best.” 
He hooks his pinky with yours bringing your laced fingers up to his lips. “I promise to keep trying my best too.” 
“I love you,” You whisper, letting go of his finger and wrapping your arms around his waist. 
His low laugh makes his chest vibrate against your head, “I love you.” He adds, rubbing soothing circles over your back. “Now, can you please drink your tea before you get a cold. I texted you earlier asking if you needed an umbrella but you didn’t answer. And now look at you coming in here all pouty and wet.”  
You raise your head to look at him, opening your mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by the forgotten voice of your friend. “Her phone’s dead.” Namjoon throws his lighter onto the wooden table. 
Hoseok tsks shaking his head, reaching over to push the tray of your lukewarm tea closer to you. “I should’ve known. I knew you didn’t charge it last night, just like I knew that you left your umbrella at my place.” He pinches your cheek. “How did your meeting go?” 
“He basically said that I need to restart my essay topic over again.”
Hoseok laughs, bopping your nose with his own. “Well did he say those exact words?” 
“No but it was basically implied.”  You emphasize. 
“Fine, I’ll talk to your study partner if my baby isn’t being told that she’s a genius all the time, then what am I paying him for.” He jokes, which earns a glare from said study partner. 
“You’re not paying me, idiot.” Namjoon rolls his eyes, grabbing his brown leather messenger back and stuffing his cigarettes into the front pocket. 
He’s grateful that he came back to smiles and not tears. The stoicness of his actions makes the two of you laugh hard. Your laugh resonates longer in his mind. It always does. No matter how much he tries to deny it. You always resonate longer in his mind. But he pushes that fleeting thought aside. 
Namjoon is happy. 
His friends are happy. 
Things in his life were finally looking up. 
“I have to go, but don’t be late next time and charge your phone.” He says hoisting his bag onto his shoulders. 
You nod, saluting in his direction, before bursting out into a fit of giggles as Hoseok tickles your side. 
Namjoon doesn’t stay for longer than he needs to. He’s already running late to meet Rina, but he can’t hide the smile taking up his space.
He can’t help but feel proud that things were finally looking up for you too. 
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a/n: I hope you have enjoyed it. I will try not to be so MIA and upload a little more frequently rather than every 6 months haha. But my life has been pretty busy lately. In the past few months. I have moved to a different part of Seoul and I got a new job. I basically just hang out with my friends when I have free time haha. I also do dance class 3 times a week, and I started personal training last week. But I will try to manage my time better because I do miss writing and this story!
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meichenxi · 2 days
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languages, travel, identity, grief
Maybe some of you have heard of Xu Zhimo's Second Farewell to Cambridge (徐志摩 再別康橋 Translation: Saying Goodbye to Cambridge Again, by Xu Zhimo | East Asia Student). It's an achingly lovely poem about a Chinese scholar who studied in the UK, and how he left so gently, taking nothing with him as he went. It brought me solace over the last year.
I thought for a very long time about how I felt about having to leave China, and what it felt like to mourn for a future that was never going to mine. I cried. How am I supposed to explain why? I'm not Chinese. I've got no family there, or a childhood to look back on. I couldn't explain it even to myself.
That pain was coupled with a type of uncertainty, a discomfort at myself for feeling so strongly. This feeling was not allowed. It meant - what? Something awful, probably. I was a racist, probably. I should hate myself, probably. Fetishization is the word that gets thrown around for white people and their time spent in East Asia at one end of the spectrum - at the other end it's just seen as embarrassing and deeply, you know, cringe. It's a self-interrogation - why do I feel so sad? Why do I feel this pull so strongly anyway, to a country that's not even mine? Why should it matter so much when I leave? I didn't feel like this grief has any sort of legitimacy. But it has taken from September - eight months after leaving - for me to pick up Chinese again.
I felt, for months, hollow and unsettled and drifting from place to place. I opened my textbook, and closed it again. The memories there were too painful. I'm not going to write about why I had to leave, but it wasn't by choice. I had loved the people in the school, even if it was for a short time. When you have no internet and are training eight hours a day, the days are coloured more sharply: bright and hurtful and wonderful all at once. We had no running water. It was in an abandoned hotel. I miss the monk at the temple door opposite the school, always on time at 6am to open it for our classes. I miss the folk at the local shop who invited me to watch films on their projector; once they killed a chicken for us. I miss the woman in the woods who gave me the chestnuts she had picked. I gave the chestnuts to the cook, and we steamed them and ate them by the lake. He wanted me to marry his son; he wanted it so strongly that he brought me pork, and desserts, and gave me paper, and promised me I could have a jade bracelet, that he would buy me a house. I miss the oldest martial arts teacher, who spoke in such strong dialect I could barely understand him. When I was sad and missing home one night, he told me that I should stay after dinner. In the silence and against the cicadas, he started to play the erhu for me. Later, my friend told me that he hadn't know what to say, how to comfort me; I was a foreigner and a young woman, after all. We had very little in common. But nobody has ever played a piece of music for me like that before.
And I miss X, my best friend there and partner in snack-smuggling crime. She is 19 years old, and a janitor's daughter, and one of the wisest people I have ever met. (She also rides an excellent motorbike, and lent me her hanfu, and we sped through the city giddy with our own daring and trying not to be caught.) We got matching haircuts; she had always wanted to cut her hair like a boy, and was too scared to do it alone. When I left, I told her to stay in touch: she shook her head. She said that some people were meant to know each other for some time, and no more. I think the death of friendship by attrition, by - as Elrond said! - the slow decay of time, is one of the saddest things of all. I deleted Wechat. I don't want to read over the old messages. By having this place - her, and the chestnuts, and the cicadas - as a memory, I can tuck it away it. I can keep it close.
I wrote a poem myself on the plane. That was the last I thought about China, the last thought I let myself have, in eight months. I kept myself away from it. It felt like a wound. And against that hollowness, there was constantly the question: Why should I have any right to miss this place? Who I am there? Why does it matter? We are all different people, wherever we go, and whoever we are with; we wear different skins, large or small. In China I was [...]. She was who I was. That name, that I introduced myself to people with - she was bright and friendly and tried to translate things just so. Everybody who goes as the only foreigner to a place - or the only foreigner that speaks the language - is a little bit self-obsessed. It happens. It's unfortunate, and something to guard against. But it also gives you its own kind of identity in a way: your identity is Foreigner. Your identity is a cultural bridge. Everyone you meet, in a country as friendly and curious as China, has questions about you. You stand with your feet in both worlds, and are not really part of either of them. That identity is easy to slip into, like cool water, like trying on new clothes. It's easier that thinking: who am I outside of that? Where am I going? I don't really know. I don't think anyone really does.
And then the second thing happens. I speak Chinese well, by this point. My accent is there, but it's slight. I am short, and have dark hair, and a generally similar build to many East Asians - so the questions I have got in the last few years have changed. Sometimes people think I have been raised here. Sometimes they think I am ethnically Russian, and nationally Chinese. Sometimes I get asked if I am half Chinese. Usually they know I am a Foreigner, 100% white - but not always. There is a peculiar rush that comes from that acceptance; from feeling the relief, just for fifteen minutes, that you belong. It's not about 'passing', or race-bending, or anything twisted - it's nothing so unnerving as that. It's just the human need to belong. Everyone gets tired of being stared at, after a while. And after a while, you start to think - I wish I understood. I wish they understood. I wish this were easy.
But then the conversation keeps going. You don't know a local word, or you misunderstand. You say something in a strange way, or you make a strange gesture, and the glass shatters, and - there you are again, naked again, exhausted again, explaining yourself again. That's the other half of it. There's solace in the Foreigner identity, because that means that's all you are. You don't have to think about your parents, or whether they worry about you so far from home; of course they do. The Foreigner is good and filial and a wonderful daughter. You can craft her into any shape you like. But it also marks you out again and again, endlessly and again, as Other.
There was a paper published a while ago that showed measures of acceptance of non-natives in native-speaking communities. It highlights a strange, but familiar experience to those who have lived abroad - the people who spoke the language to a medium level felt more accepted and less lonely than those that spoke the language to a high degree. It makes sense, and mirrors what I have found with both Chinese and German. When you speak a little Chinese, you are a wonder - a curiousity! Look at the Western girl go! People are kind, and curious, and will slow down to include you in conversations. You are thrilled with what you can access - all this knowledge, that other people don't have! Look how special you are!
And then you get better. And then you realise, cut by cut, that you will never be one of them. You don't want to be Chinese, per se; but you do want to be accepted. You are happy to be British; but you miss China like a wound, an old one, festering, even when it was never yours. How do you tell your family that you are not grieving a lost romance, a beautiful girl, but a language and a life? That there are words of majesty, of playfulness, that will never be yours? You speak well enough that people no longer bother to dumb things down, or explain them; you sit with your discomfort, smile painted on, because - you know. It's not bad. You understand most of it. And on the edge of that circle, smiling uncertainly, following the vast majority of what is being said, you are not clever enough and not witty enough to keep up with the chengyu, the cultural references, the slang, and the raucous laughter around you erupts, and you don't know what you've missed, and everybody says - she's quiet, that one. Maybe all the foreigners are? And all you are doing is sitting and feeling the distance between You and Them as heavy and as stifled in your chest as an ocean of dark.
So you go back. Back to your people. But when you sit with the other foreigners, you are apart. They laugh; what are these nutters doing? The Chinese don't make any sense. The Chinese do this - they do that. You sit there, and then there is a pressure building in your chest too, a discomfort, the desire to stand up and say - well, actually.
You are responsible for everything the Chinese teachers do, and have to explain things in a way that the students understand - Confucian thought, and Buddhist philosophy, translated in pithy bite-size adages for the West. You have no qualifications for this; everything you assert, you feel unsure. Uncertain. Someone else could explain it better, more nuanced, and you need to do more reading anyway - but here you are, and here they are, and you're the only one. And you do know. Not enough, but enough that their jokes, their pains, make you uncomfortable. You feel the need to defend both parties; to be a diplomat, every second of every day. In turn, when the students come to the teachers with problems, you have to translate their grievances in a way that the Chinese teachers will be sympathetic towards. Once I got asked: why do you never join us after class? Why are you always so quiet when you're not working? As a translator, you are always working. Every time you speak, you are working; what you choose to say, and what you choose to not say, and where you choose to intervene. You are building relationships, and disappearing, and you are becoming invisible, and you're a nothing, and you're everyone and you're nobody and nobody realises you are doing anything more than translating at all.
I wanted to stay. I couldn't have stayed. I wanted to be accepted as one of them. I wanted to be accepted for who I was. That means a foreigner. I wanted to be true to myself, which means that I would always be the Foreigner, which means I would always be apart from them. It is that contrast and juxtaposition which causes the grief. And there was never an ending to it, a resolution, a chance to reconcile myself (in China) with myself (in the UK), because all at once I had to leave. The grief comes most from the second arrow - not the pain of leaving, but the bewilderment of not knowing why I was in pain at all.
It's been eight months. Slowly, as spring comes, I feel like I am on surer ground. I can look at my old books, those painstaking notes, and I could look at new ones too and I'm starting to think, because this is what I tell my students, and maybe there's some truth in it - it's okay if you're not perfect. It's okay if you didn't achieve what you wanted to, and that the language - in its wholeness, and who can ever know that? - will never, not quite, be yours. It's the struggle and the process that means that I will know and understand Chinese in a different way, in my own way, in a slanted-to-reality sort of way, that is a treasure in and of itself. There is beauty in its brokenness too.
And there is sorrow, too. The sorrow that comes with easing yourself into a different life, and it holding you gently for a while. I sat there - I spoke to them. It's not only missing a place; it's missing a person you were, a stage of your life, for a time. It's knowing that a place has reached inside your ribs and taken root there - even if you don't return, you can never fully get rid of that again. You are two people now, with feet straddling two oceans. There are parts of you that loved and suffered and hated and grew in Chinese, not English. You can't explain that. You can't even begin. Sometimes - not often - you are a stranger in your own land. The poets spoke of that. In the age of fast travel, of the weekend break, we have forgotten the ways a place can burrow itself inside you, and find its own home.
It's not the same as the grief that someone Chinese will face. But it's still grief. I have put my life into Chinese. Maybe that is all it takes to grow love.
Now, I turn back to Chinese - as a foreigner, as Melissa, as myself. It's a bittersweet thing. I know that I cannot hold all of it. It will spill out, like the sun, and there is no way I can be that without losing myself and my history and my own green woods. But I think I am ready now. I am surer, and a little steadier on my feet.
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fairie-grl · 15 hours
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inspired by @onadarklingplain 's 'Albon Pet Primer'
Sir Lewis Hamiltion has a dog, his dog is the goodest boy in the world, and I know too much about his dog so now you must suffer with this knowledge as well enjoy:
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Lewis adopted Roscoe, a English bulldog, from an online adoption agency in 2013.Roscoe is a purebred bulldog with both his mom and dad being show dogs. Roscoe's name was chosen because Lewis thought it but Crofty calling Nico ‘Roscoe’ at the 2016 Chinese Grand Prix makes me have my doubts. Lewis later adopted Coco, a female bulldog. Coco’s breeder was originally going to put her down due to how expensive her health conditions, mostly likely a heart condition, were but Lewis stepped in. If you are trying to tell Coco and Roscoe apart in photos, Coco has a wider white stripe on her head. It is widest around the top of her head. Roscoe has more wrinkles and a brown spot on his snout and his strip ends at the top of his head and a new one starts off center in the back of his head. Coco’s fang teeth are also out more often compared to Roscoe's little teeth and she is a lighter color than Roscoe. Lewis expressed that he adopted the dog because his family has always had dogs, mostly labradors, but he said he always wanted an English bulldog. Coco lived till June 2020 when she passed in the night. Lewis and Roscoe were with her. His mom has five dogs! Both Roscoe and Coco have passports so they can travel with Lewis. Lewis was also granted special permission from Bernie Ecclestone to bring the dogs to the padlock (I assume Charles will ask Domenicali to bring Leo to the Padlock). 
Lewis brought a jet to fly with the dogs which he then sold in 2019. Roscoe is good with traveling due to his love of napping. In his first trip with Lewis he slept through most of the flight waking up to go to the bathroom and to make Lewis put him in his lap. Lewis followed Roscoe's command, sleeping with Roscoe in his lap like “a baby.” Lewis said, “Roscoe is the best travel pet, he just sleeps with you.” As Roscoe is getting older, Lewis has made the decision to travel less with him, as the time zones were getting hard on him. While Lewis is racing, Roscoe stays in Los Angeles, California with dog trainer Kirstin McMillan (adventuresindogtraining on instagram). Lewis says he gets pictures of Roscoe everyday and checks in on him. Roscoe also attends a dog park or “Los Angeles' first canine social club” as stated on their website called ‘Dog PPL’ in Santa Monica. It is about $120 a month for one dog.  
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Not only is Roscoe Lewis’s son but also his best friend. Lewis talked about his instant connection when they first met. Roscoe gets sad when Lewis leaves and happy when he returns. Lewis says, “Then I get the Frisbee and play with him, and that’s, for me, the biggest highlight – the unconditional love you get from a pet like that.” Roscoe loves quad bikes. In one interview, Lewis said it’s because he’s lazy so he likes being driven around. However, I think it’s because he has taken after his dad and wants to race. Roscoe also loves frisbee and his ball; it seems like he enjoys fetching and chasing after things, like chasing other cars down… Roscoe WDC 2024 confirmed. Lewis also has Roscoe involved in many of his projects, Lewis has hinted that Roscoe has a cameo in ‘Apex’, his movie starring Brad Pitt. When Fortnite asked him to be in the game he said he would only agree if Roscoe was in the game with him. Fortnite, of course, agreed because Roscoe is an angel. They ended up putting him in a jet pack. He was 1,500 V-Bucks or 2,400 V-Bucks with the ‘Lewis Hamilton Budle’ (IDK if thats a lot I don’t play Fortnite). Lewis also said Roscoe is the only person he can count on to stand with him along with Bono.
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After Coco’s death, Lewis took Roscoe to the vet where they recommended starting him on a vegan diet similar to what Lewis has. This vegan diet is often recommended to bulldogs because they often have food intolerances or allergies to the meat proteins that can affect the skin and gastrointestinal tract. The vegan diet Roscoe is on still includes the same things without the meat proteins in it that caused him to have health issues. Lewis has said his breathing has improved and that he no longer has skin allergies. Roscoe also has physical therapy and acupuncture every week to help with his joints.  Roscoe has also had health issues that caused him to ejaculate, often uncontrollably, scaring baby Roscoe and leading to him getting snipped in 2016. Lewis did have his sperm frozen so that Roscoe could have puppies. Lewis said, “It’s great his genes will live on.” Lewis said his plans were to have Roscoe’s puppies after he retires but with the fanzone in 2024 Australia GP, it sounds to me like he may be looking sooner to have Roscoe’s pups or to retire. Last year, around the British GP, Roscoe had some issues regarding his spine. If I remember correctly, it involved a slipped hernia in his spine. Luckily, he got stem therapy and was able to attend the GP. He has been improving, and as of today he is back to normal.
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Now for the part most people know about. Roscoe started his instagram account, roscoelovescoco, in January 2015 with a post featuring Coco and him captioned “Thanks for following us :).” The instagram account was originally a joint account with both Coco and Roscoe until 2020, although both did get solo posts. As expected Roscoe does make money off his Instagram, but he is also a dog model. Lewis said in a Silver Arrows interview in 2021 that he gets paid $700 a day which goes in Roscoe's treat fund. Roscoe also has sponsorships. His Thanksgiving party was sponsored by Bramble Pets, and he did content (including a commercial) for Zapp, a food delivery company Lewis invested in. Roscoe also appears in Lewis' vlog channel (it hasn’t been updated since 2021) multiple times. His last appearance is in a video “Adventures with Roscoe! | Lewis Hamilton Vlogs” which is also the last updated video on Lewis channel. He reached 1 million followers in 2024, which is more than Chouprette Lagerfield, the cat of Karl Lagerfeld (I am not joking, this man left a good chunk of his fortune [~$300 million] to his cat). Roscoe’s captions on his instagram posts were originally typed in a sort of third person first person mix but in October 2020, Roscoe finally established his first first person post with his famous lisp. However, the conspiracy expands as prior to this first lisp post, there are two posts on instagram where Roscoe (and Coco) are talking to us. The first one was posted April 2024 with Roscoe saying, ‘They put a thermometer up me bum, dad!’ In this speech bubble, Roscoe doesn’t have a lisp but does speak in a sort of baby talk. The next post in October 2017 features both Roscoe and Coco with Roscoe saying, “We got acupuncture today Dad!” and Coco saying, “It’s my favorite.” (More info about the dogs getting acupuncture is in the health section.) I will note his lisp comes and goes on his posts around November 2020. His lisp finally stays and its intensity does increase. There are also a few posts taken with Mercedes that don’t feature the lisp, and a few posts talking about Roscoe or Coco written in their “Dad’s” pov where it obviously doesn’t use a lisp.
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The Han Family | Min Yoongi
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Summary: You and Yoongi were together during high school. He was only a year older than you, but that never mattered to you. You both fit in perfectly; you had the cheerfulness and positivity that Yoongi lacked, and he had the patience and seriousness that you lacked. You were together until Yoongi entered his second year of college, both of you decided to end on good terms. You never stopped loving him, and deep down you thought he hadn't completely forgotten you either. Despite keeping that deep love that you were sure you would never get over, you decided to go on with your life, seeing more people, having more casual loves, until the arrival of Jumyeon, the Han's eldest son, and the person who would end up signing your death sentence. It had been more than 10 years since you last saw Yoongi, and meeting him again because of your father-in-law's murder was definitely not the way you expected to see him again. wc: 2.9k
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You were upset, no, probably upset would be putting it mildly, you were furious. You couldn't believe that your boyfriend, the one you wasted four fucking years of your life for, was cheating on you for over two years, and worse, with his best friend, that same girl he practically forced you to meet because he wanted his girlfriend and best friend to be close. At least his "friend" had the basic human decency to confess to you that she was messing with him for years. 
"I picked your favorite restaurant, I had a hard time making a reservation" Jumyeon said, smiling at you as cheerfully as possible. You almost grimaced, but you tried to control yourself, you were supposed to be a mature woman, for god's sake, you were almost 30, you should be able to have control over yourself.
"Thank you, that's a very nice gesture" you murmured, drinking all the wine in your glass. This didn't even make it into the top 10 of your favorite restaurants. You hated the way they cooked their meat, and you knew the owner in person (who was close friends with Jumyeon), it wasn't much better than their supposedly quality food.
You looked at the large window next to you. The only thing worthwhile about this place was the view of the Han River. It was a sight worth seeing.
"I already placed the order, so all we have left to do is wait" he pulled out his phone for a second, but put it away as quickly as he took it. You assumed she was his mistress, or should you say "friend"?
"Okay" you leaned forward, resting your head on your hands. You wanted to wait for the right moment to tell him, as gently as possible, to go fuck himself.
You listened to him ramble on about his job for what seemed like hours. You had never cared about his work, but at least you heard him, you had the basic respect for him that couples should have. Now that he had disrespected you in such a way, why listen to his complaints? You owed him nothing, no more.
"Oh, thanks for the food," your boyfriend said in a cheerful tone. 
Only then did you pay attention to what was in front of you. The waiter lifted the plate cover carefully, looking at both of you at the same time. He was probably a hopeless romantic.
Unlike him, you just felt nauseous enough to make you lean forward. This man seriously sucked.
"Y/N" he approached you, pulling a red velvet box out of his pocket. "These years by your side have been the happiest of my life" If he was so happy, why did he cheat on you? "I knew you would be the love of my life the moment I saw you", and that's why he was so eager for you to change to his liking instead of letting you be yourself, "and I couldn't have been more right, because, honestly, I can't see a future where you're not" he sank to one knee, bringing out a ring that looked way too ostentatious. You wanted to throw it in his face. "And I know deep down you feel the same way I do, so please do me the honor of making me the happiest man in the world. Marry me."
You stared at him, clenching your fists so tightly that your palms were starting to hurt. You turned to look at the dessert the waiter had camouflaged with the plate cover. A big "Will you marry me?" was written in the center. 
And suddenly, your immature side came out. You could no longer contain your urge to punch this jerk.
"Marry you?" you muttered, taking the small cake with which he tried to propose to you. You smiled almost helplessly. "Did you seriously just ask me that?".
Jumyeon laughed, standing up from the floor and looking at you with a shit-eating grin.
"Well, I know you'll say yes, but I thought that-".
You didn't let him continue, you didn't want to keep hearing his voice, so you did the first thing that popped into your head. You threw the dessert in his face and scrubbed it until there was nothing left. And, my god, it felt so satisfying.
"How can you ask me that after spending the afternoon with your so-called friend?" you growled, leaving the plate of cake on the table. "Are you so unmanly that you need to play with two women at once!?".
You ignored the murmurs from the audience, you didn't want to draw their attention, but you were too upset to speak softly, and he was the one who decided to do this in a public place.
"What? Is your brain not capable of coming up with excuses in such a short time?" you swept him with your eyes, feeling disgusted. "Never mind, I have no interest in listening to your lies anymore anyway." 
You grabbed your purse and pulled out your wallet, throwing a few bills in his face, "So you can pay the bill." 
And you left, ignoring his screams and insults. 
And, for the first time in years, you felt free.
You smiled big as you approached the elevator, and when you came within shouting distance of excitement, a guy a little taller than you knocked you to the floor. 
You complained quietly, taking the hand he offered you, but not seeing his face. You were too happy to complain to him.
"Sorry, I didn't look where I was walking" you gave a little bow, ready to leave. Until you felt a hand stop on your wrist.
"Y/N?"
For the first time since you collided you noticed the man standing in front of you, and shit, how you wished you hadn't crossed paths with him just then.
"Yoongi" you muttered, feeling your throat dry. He looked even more beautiful than the last time you saw him. 
"You look... different" he said softly, letting go of your wrist, but not taking his gaze away from you.
"You too" you tried to smile, but you felt too uncomfortable to do so.You were embarrassed for Yoongi to see you like this. "You're back to black" you hastened to say, pointing to his hair. 
It looked much longer and shinier than the last time you saw it, and it fit him like a glove. If his intention was to make women like you want to tangle their fingers in it, he had more than succeeded.
"And you cut it" he moved his hand up to your mane. Your hair reached only a few inches below your chin, a far cry from the long, unruly style you had when you were still his girlfriend and you swore to him that you would never cut it because it was your most prized possession.
Now you feel even sillier.
"I wanted to try a new style" you nodded quickly, fiddling with the strap of your purse.You were back to feeling like a stupid teenager incapable of talking to the boy she likes. To a certain extent it was true. You were never able to get over Yoongi, you don't think you ever will at some point."But I didn't like it as much as I thought I would" you sighed, tightening the strap on your bag.
"You-?"
"Chaeyoung!" your now ex-boyfriend shouted as he ran in the direction of you and Yoongi. It didn't escape your notice that before he noticed Yoongi's presence, he was coming over annoyed enough to slap you. You saw his hand clenched tightly."What the hell was that ruckus earlier, do you know how many cameras were in the place, how many important people were there?".
"Well, maybe you should have thought your proposal through better" for a moment you completely forgot that it wasn't just the two of you in the hallway, but you didn't care.That son of a bitch deserved someone to put him in his place, and you wanted so badly to be that person yourself. "Or to have fucking zipped your pants when it belonged, or am I wrong? Because if so, say so to me and Minah for that matter, because she feels the same way I do too."
You watched as he fixed his gel-covered hair, turning away for a second to catch his breath."It was an accident, understand? It's not how she painted it."
"An accident over two years old? Can you explain to me how that works? Did you just happen to fall on her and coincidentally your penis went into her because you both happened to be unclothed in the same fucking hotel room?" you laughed listlessly, crossing your arms, "Don't you dare think I'm stupid enough to turn blind eyes to something that's been going on for years."
Yoongi, who had been silent until that moment, cleared his throat, moving forward to stand beside you. You took a breath, trying to maintain your composure in front of him. It was quite a difficult task.
"Are you Han Jumyeon by any chance?" he muttered in a monotone voice staring at your ex-boyfriend. It came to scare you a bit how cold his gaze seemed. Still you thought he was attractive.Very attractive.
"Yes" he looked at Yoongi from head to toe, he looked a little confused, but he was used to that kind of question. He was one of the most well-known businessmen in South Korea, he was in the news quite a bit, so it wasn't strange that he knew him. "Who are you?"
"Officer Min Yoongi" he pulled out his badge from his shirt pocket, "I am one of the people in charge of the investigation of Mr. Han's death, I need both you and your..." his gaze paused for a moment on you before turning back to Jumyeon, "ex-girlfriend come to the police station so I can question you."
"Did you say death?" you looked at Yoongi and then at Jumyeon, covering your mouth with your hand. You wished the worst for that... man, if that's what you could call him, but that didn't mean you wished his father had died in whatever circumstance. If Yoongi was involved in this, it meant it wasn't from natural causes. 
"What are you talking about? My father died? When? How?" he brought his hands to his hair, tugging on it lightly. "You said you were an officer, didn't you? So that means it wasn't an accident?"
You wondered internally if Yoongi saw the same twisted smile you saw.
You saw how he nodded slowly, his impassive gaze stopping on Jumyeon. He didn't seem to pity him, let alone empathize, in fact, if you still had your wonderfully useless abilities to understand Yoongi, he even seemed annoyed with him. Maybe he thought he was guilty? You would think so too after seeing the expression from earlier.
"As I told you before, I need to take you to the police station right now, we need to ask you a few questions regarding Mr. Han, I would appreciate it if you could cooperate as much as possible."
You nodded quickly, moving a little closer to Yoongi, "Did you come by car? Mine is in the parking lot."
"Don't worry, we'll go in mine," he murmured, barely brushing his fingers on your back, "go to the elevator first, I'll go next to Jumyeon."
You obeyed his command, walking to the elevator and waiting for it to reach your floor. You thundered your finger bones as you moved your left leg. You were still a bit in shock with the news, you were trying to think through your next move with Jumyeon, you didn't think things through very well before throwing the dessert in his face and shouting to the four winds that he was unfaithful to you with his best friend.
You turned to look at your ex-boyfriend, who stood next to Yoongi stiffly. He looked in your direction every so often, but averted his gaze immediately. Yoongi, on the other hand, kept his gaze fixed on you the entire time you were looking at them. It kept causing your stomach to churn and your heart to flip. 
The sound of the elevator forced you to look away from both men. To your surprise, no one was inside it, which, on the one hand, was wonderful, as you wouldn't have to put up with the strong smell of expensive perfume and conversations between strangers that sounded too empty. But, on the other hand, you had to be alone with those other two.
You shook your head, trying to get that stupid thought out of your head, and entered the elevator followed by Yoongi and Jumyeon. You convinced yourself that the tense atmosphere was due to the news Yoongi gave you, but deep down you knew it wasn't so. 
You knew your ex like the palm of your hand, you knew when he was genuinely sad and when he was not. You were aware that he wasn't feeling depressed at all, but he was angry, probably at you and whoever had attacked his father. You tried to avoid the idea of him being that way with you.
You brought your thumb to your mouth, biting your nail. Jumyeon's gaze on you was starting to feel too stinging and the fear started to grow as your head generated worst case scenarios. You had such a good imagination when it came to going against you.
The brush of fingers on your right hand made you jump in place. You turned to see who it was, and almost cried with happiness when you noticed it was only Yoongi. He discreetly caressed the knuckles of your hand, completely avoiding looking at you. 
You had forgotten how good it felt to have someone who could read your body language so easily that just by looking at you or listening to you, he would understand that you were having a hard time. Yoongi was the only person you dated who could accomplish that. Maybe that was one of the reasons why you still weren't able to forget him.
You stopped biting your nail, concentrating on Yoongi's touch on your skin. It brought back so many memories. 
"We'll talk at home about earlier" Jumyeon murmured, glancing sideways at you, "I think you're still a little confused."
"I'm not" you replied on impulse, staring at him, were you afraid? Obviously, was that going to stop you from telling him to his face? Of course not. "I gave you my answer, now act like a man for the first time in your life and accept it" you growled under your breath, holding back the urge you had to spit in his face.
You listened as Yoongi cleared his throat, and you knew he was doing it to camouflage his laughter. You didn't care, you would have done the same thing in his place.
"Stop fucking around and just say yes" Jumyeon turned to look at you, and if looks killed, you'd be on the floor, bleeding out, dying, you'd be a ghost. 
"Why don't you shut up? Your voice is annoying, it makes my head hurt" Yoongi muttered, this time taking your hand firmly. 
You internally prayed that Jumyeon wouldn't see it, you didn't want any more trouble than you already had.
The rest of the time in the elevator was in silence. Being so many floors it took you a few minutes to get down. They were the worst minutes of your life.
"We'll go in my car" Yoongi looked at Jumyeon before exiting the elevator. Holding hands with you. In front of him.
You saw out of the corner of your eye how his face distorted at the sight of your hands together. You reminded yourself that you didn't owe him any explanation. You had done nothing wrong, so why should you justify yourself? You nodded mentally, trying to encourage yourself.
Yoongi took out his key and unlocked his car. It was big and black, too shiny. You smiled as you remembered Yoongi always talked about how, when he had money, he would buy a nice apartment and a black car that looked so amazing that any teenager at his age would want one like that.
He let go of you for a moment only to open the passenger door and help you in. You screamed internally.
Jumyeon got in after you, to the back seats obviously, and before Yoongi got in and could hear him he came up to your ear.
"Wait till we get home, you fucking hypocritical bitch" he growled under his breath, returning to his seat as soon as Yoongi entered.
You looked down at your hands, staring at the nail you bit earlier. You didn't do anything wrong, you're not like him, you repeated yourself over and over, trying to ignore the pressure in your chest.
You leaned your head against the car window, watching as he started to move and head for the exit of the parking lot. You just closed your eyes, wanting to get to the station later to give your statement and get as far away from that man as possible.
You wiped away an unruly tear that dared to fall down your cheeks. He's not worth it, you told yourself, not anymore.
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strugglingbigtimw · 9 hours
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“In my life, I love you more”
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summary: Toji has been thinking about marriage lately. Genre: Fluff, angst, Toji x black!stepmom reader, fem reader
cw: nothing fr, Toji is a little sad but it fixes itself, mentions death, there’s cursing, gojo 🤢
word count: 0.9K
A/N: the parasites keep WINNING.
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Fiance!Toji who lowkey acts like you’re already married. He and Megumi live with you, you sleep in the same bed, and he feeds your dog. Not to mention, he never corrects anyone when they refer to you as his wife.
Fiancé!Toji who realizes out of the blue he wants to marry you. He’s known you for about 5 years and has been exclusive with you for 4. Megumi and him have been living with you for almost 3 years. Besides, He hates how “girlfriend” or “stepmom” feels on his tongue. 
Fiance!Toji who thinks about how nice your surname sounds. Zenin has never felt comfortable. He cherishes Fushiguro, however, it doesn’t stop him from imagining what it would be like to be referred to as “Mrs.___ Husband”. 
Fiancé!Toji who’s been calling you his wife for the last 6 months. He has a habit of calling you wifey, but it was more of a nickname. At first, you thought it was him fucking with you, but he seems a little too serious about it. 
Fiance!Toji who proposes to you randomly. You and him were watching Paranorman on the couch as Megumi was asleep in your arms when he looks over at you. He about proposing often and since he has no sense of decorum, now seems like a good time. He casually asks “You wanna get married?” You damn near cry and knock his head off. 
Fiance!Toji gets rings for the both of you and takes off his old one. You tell him that he doesn’t have to get rid of his old wedding ring. You won’t be offended if he wants keep it. Toji doesn’t think much of it. He’s always been the type to leave things behind. What’s so different about it now? 
Fiance!Toji whom you gave a thin gold chain necklace with his old ring attached. You put it on him while telling him, “he doesn’t need to abandon everything. He can still keep her close to him.” He thinks about giving it to Megumi when he’s older. 
Fiance!Toji who’s both ecstatic and disappointed you don’t want a big wedding. Fantasies die hard. One of his few good childhood memories was of a Zenin clan wedding. The bride and groom dressed up while music played and everyone gathered around. For a second, it felt like they were an actual family. Although, Toji realizes that neither of you has the luxury of finances or close family to participate. 
Fiance!Toji and you plan to have a small family dinner as your wedding. You’ll go in a white dress while he and Megumi wear three-piece suits. You’ll all eat and then go home as a family. It’s small but sweet.
Fiance!Toji feels nervous about the wedding dinner. He confides in you that he feels like he’s cursed. He has no cursed energy, his first wife died, and he can barely raise his son even now. You comfort him saying “We’ll get through it. That’s what couples are supposed to do.” He doesn’t completely believe you, but it puts him at ease nonetheless. 
Fiance!Toji is pissed when he picks up Megumi from school and learns that the news of your marriage has spread. Megumi barely talks, how the fuck do all his teachers know?
Fiance!Toji finds out that Megumi’s best friend, Yuuji Itadori, snitched. Now he has to deal with not only all of Megumi’s teachers wanting invites to the dinner, but the loud-mouthed kid wanting one as well. 
Fiance!Toji who tells you this and you burst out laughing. The idea of Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru hounding him for an invite to the wedding is comical. He doesn’t get it. In the end, he can’t say no to you when you say, “Let's invite em, it’d be nice to have people celebrate us.” 
Husband!Toji who when the day comes feels conflicted. He thought he would feel more excited and annoyed. However, he feels comfortable, almost happy. He watches as Megumi and Yuuji sit at the table coloring in the kid's menus. Gojo and Suguru are annoying but Nanami, their plus one, keeps them in check. Yuuji’s uncle, father, and his wife have decent conversation with you. The whole thing feels almost homely.
Husband!Toji who leaves with you when the restaurant closes. Y’all were only supposed to stay for an hour but everyone wanted pictures of the happy couple and the unofficial bridesmaids.
Husband!Toji who stays downstairs as you put Megumi to bed since you said you had a surprise for him. You come back down and give him a bouquet of red and white roses. 
Husband!Toji doesn’t expect anything else, but you take him to the backyard of your shared house. You’re both still dressed in your wedding clothes. You say your vows as you grab his hand. You look up at the night sky and thank Megumi’s mother. You hope that you’ll be half the mother and wife she was. You promise to her that no matter what you’ll cherish and keep Toji safe. 
Husband!Toji who for once in his damn life is silent. He has no words, so he does the next best thing and kisses his bride. 
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@wolfstarmicrofic 27th April: Soulmate AU
Word count: 447
AU: soulmate, non-magic/Muggle, modern
"Top marks, too?" That is the sentence written on Sirius's wrist in a messy handwriting.
It's his soulmark. Those are supposed to be the first words his soulmate says to him.
Soulmate. The one person in the world who is supposed to love him unconditionally. Sure, it is possible to fall in love with someone who is not your soulmate. It's also possible to not fall in love with your soulmate even if you meet them.
But can you blame Sirius for being a hopeless romantic? His family didn't love him. They were always cold to him, caring only about his success at school.
So Sirius clinged to the hope of his soulmate loving him and caring about him.
If Sirius's soulmark had been anything else, Walburga would've discouraged her son from wishing for a soulmate, but in this case, Sirius, in hopes of finding his soulmate as soon as possible, has poured his souls into his studies.
Sirius is sixteen, sent to a boarding school away from his best friend James, because Walburga thinks he's a bad influence.
He sighs and opens his room, mentally preparing himself to make friends with his roommate.
"Hello, I'm- Wait, James??" he stares at his best friend, who is laying on one of the beds, with wide eyes.
"Heya, Padfoot," James smirks mischievously. "I convinced my parents to send me here too. And it didn't take much convincing for the staff to give us a room together. Now come here," he sits up and opens his arms for a hug.
"James…" Sirius sighs as he hugs James tightly. "You didn't have to do that for me, you know," he mumbles.
"Nonsense," James chuckles, "you're my best friend. You'd do the same for me."
Two weeks later, they have written their first exam. Sirius studied day and night for it, as always.
The results were posted on a notice-board in the hallway. The students weren't sorted alphabetically, but by their results.
Sirius, anxious about his results as always, started searching the lists from the back, from the worst end. His name wasn't there, of course. Soon he got to the first page, and there it was -
Black, Sirius: 100%
Lupin, Remus: 100%
"Top marks, too?" a voice behind him asked in a cheerful tone.
Sirius spun around, looking up at the tall brunet man with a scar across his face. The words registered in Sirius's brain and he smiled softly.
"I finally found you," he breathed out and rolled up his sleeve to show the man - Remus - his soulmark.
"You have," Remus laughed and raised his hand to caress Sirius's cheek. "Can I kiss you, my dear soulmate?"
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silverstar70 · 2 days
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Fandom: Criminal minds. Character: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader
Author’s note: English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistakes.
Warnings: smut, vaginal sex, established relationship, oral sex, fluff
Summary: Y/N comes back after months oversea and Hotch makes up for the lost time
Words: 5k
Welcome back
After ten months oversea, Y/N just wanted to lay in her bed and sleep for more than a few hours. Those months had been stressful and exhausting. After three missions in Afghanistan, she got used to the long hours, the heat, and the desert. What she wasn’t used to was missing home. She never felt at home in any of the city she was deployed. Yes, she loved moving around the planet but no one of the houses she lived in, felt like home, not by a long shot. And no one was waiting for her so she never had a reason to feel eager to go back.
Now, things were different. She had someone waiting for her back home. Her relationship with Hotch was one of the best things that ever happened to her. He was caring, kind, loving and most importantly he loved her for her. He understood her job and the long hours better than anyone else, maybe because he was as workaholic as her, but no mattered how much work he had, he always found time for her and his son Jack.
Y/N loved that boy as he was her own. She never thought she would’ve missed someone like she missed the Hotchner boys, and she couldn’t wait to come back home and hugged them. She loved her job, it was the only constant in her live since she was eighteen, her anchor in the darkest days and it still was sometimes. But now she had Hotch too.
Being away from him had been torture. They talked via Skype any time she could, but it was difficult since most of the times the signal was wonky, and it wasn’t the same thing. She missed falling asleep in his strong arms, it was her safe place. She missed his skin under her touch, his kisses, his penetrative stare. She missed feeling him close and spending the weekend with him and Jack.
She took a deep breath before the doors of the elevators opened. As soon as she landed at the base, she went straight to Hotch’s office. She couldn’t wait to see him and didn’t even bother to change clothes, so she was still wearing her uniform. He wasn’t expecting her to come back for another two days before the schedule date, it was a surprise.
As soon as she entered the bullpen, she saw the team chatting around the table in the small kitchen they had and sharing a cup of coffee. No one of them seemed to notice her presence.
“Is there a cup left for me?” She asked rhetorically, and the team gasped in surprise to see her standing in the bullpen.
“Y/N! You’re here!” Garcia shouted as she walked up to Y/N to give her a big hug. “Gosh it’s so good to see you. How are you? Does bossman knows you’re here? He’s gonna be so happy!”
“Babygirl, give her a break.” Morgan said walking past her and welcomed his friend. “Welcome back, ninja.”
“I’ve missed you so much, guys.”
“We’ve missed you too, Y/N.” JJ said while hugging Y/N, followed by Reid.
“Ciao, bella. Come stai?” Rossi welcomed her with a double kiss on the cheek and a cup of hot coffee. “Ecco il tuo caffè.”
Y/N happily took the mug and had a sip. It wasn’t the best coffee she had ever drunk but it was certainly better than the one she had during her mission oversea. “Grazie, Dave. Ne avevo davvero bisogno.”
“Guys, English please.” Morgan complained knowing that if didn’t get stopped Dave and Y/N would’ve started having an entire conversation in Italian and to him it was annoying. The team laughed at his tantrum and returned their attention to Y/N.
“So, how was the desert?” Garcia asked curious.
“Hot.” Y/N joked “Tell me about you, guys. What did I miss?”
“Nothing new. Catching the bad guys here and there.” JJ replied.
Being too caught in the moment, catching up, none of them realized that their boss walked into the bullpen. Hotch stopped in his track as he recognized the woman in front of him. He couldn’t believe she was finally here, he dreamed about this moment for weeks. Like a teenager, he felt the heart leaving his chest at the happiness of having her back.
“Y/N” he said her name in a whisper and as Y/N heard herself getting called from behind, she turned in the direction of that voice and saw that Hotch was standing there with a mixed look of surprise and shock.
“Surprise” she greeted him with a wide smile.
Without wasting time, Hotch embraced her and spun her around a few times. Holding her close as he was scared that the moment he left her, she would leave again. He sniffed her hair having missed her scent over the ten months. He had missed her like crazy. It was strange waking up in the morning without having her by his side.
Once he put her down, he kept holding her close for a few moments, until he heard someone clearing their throat behind them. He had completely forgot that the team was there but couldn’t care less. Y/N was back in his arms. The team’s embarrassment could wait.
“I guess someone is very happy to see you again, Y/N.” Rossi teased, looking toward the couple, and winked to Hotch who rolled his eyes at his words.
“He had been miserable all these months.” Morgan added.
Hotch didn’t care to reply, the only thing he cared about was her. His could have said whatever they wanted, he wasn’t even listening, he was focused on her. It was like the rest of the people in the room disappeared the moment she was in his arms again.
They laughed and chatted for a little more. She enjoyed spending time with his team because she knew how much they meant to him. They were a family, and she could see it every time they hang out altogether. She recalled the first time she had met them; she was terrified they wouldn’t like her; she changed her clothes three times that night and every time Hotch reassured her it only made it worst. To her surprise though, the team was wonderful with her and soon they made her feel part of the family. Hotch and Y/N said their goodbyes and headed up to the elevators, leaving the team behind.
The ride to her house was silent, Hotch was holding her hand and caressing her thumb as the anticipation was growing in both of them. To him it still felt unreal that she was there in his car. He would never admit to his team and especially to Rossi, but they were right; the past ten months had been torture for him, not knowing how she was or if something had happened to her made him miserable.
Arriving at her house, he parked the car in her driveway and walked her to the door after he helped her taking all the bags in the trunk. Once she unlocked the door and entered the house, she left the bags on the ground and turned to Hotch who was standing hesitant on the doorway.
“Are you not coming in?” Y/N questioned him with furrowed eyebrows.
“You need to rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He offered and turned to leave.
“Aaron” Y/N called after him and get his attention back “Stay. Please. I want you to stay. I’ve missed you and I don’t wanna wait until tomorrow.”
“You sure?”
She smiled and nodded slightly. He walked slowly back to her and grabbed her face between his hands resting his lips on hers. She held him tighter to her by his t-shirt and they kissed there on the doorway for several moments until air became a need.
They enter the house and once Hotch closed the door, he was on her again and she jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist. Their lips connected again, and she ran her hands through his hair pulling a little making him groaned in the kiss. He quickly carried her to the bedroom never breaking the kiss.
Standing in front of each other, Hotch slowly started getting rid of her t-shirt. Their lips reconnected quickly but in a more passionate way, taking their time to taste each other. She opened her mouth leaving him the control, her head was resting between his strong hands as her hands were traveling along his back.
Hotch kept kissing her slow and passionate but deep down he was eager to devore her. He didn’t get the chance to do it for too long and even thought they became experts in phone sex, it wasn’t quite the same. He needed to feel her close, to smell her soft skin and take his time to kiss every inch of her body.
His hands left her face and found her belt, that he got rid of in a mere of time throwing somewhere on the floor. She followed every move he was making waiting patiently for him to take her. She was craving his touch more than she could ever imagine. She missed the feeling of his rough, yet gentle, hands on her skin, it always made her feel like she was burning inside from excitement.
Y/N took off her pants, sat on the bed and pushed Hotch to her pulling him by his belt. She started to unbuckle it, looking straight into his eyes. Hotch smiled and caressed her cheek. His look was full of desire and lust, he was almost begging her to hurry up since she was going purposely slow. His cock was starting to feel tight in his jeans. He quickly got rid of his jeans and t-shirt as soon as she finished, standing in front of her just in his boxers.
She could see the outline of his cock and reflexively bite her lower lip. Y/N wanted to taste him right there, he was in the perfect position and went to grab his boxers to free him but was stopped by his strong hands who grabbed firmly her wrists. Hotch knew what she wanted to do, he'd lie if he said he didn't want it too, but he had other plans.
“Later. Now lay back.” He demanded.
She did what she was told, not without a bit of disappointment. As she saw Hotch getting on his knees between her legs, a shiver went through her spine and groaned at the anticipation, he smiled at the effect he had on her. Even after ten months, the desire never faded away, it only increased. And he was ready and determinate to make up for the lost time.
Hotch grabbed the sides of her panties and slid them down her legs, agonizingly slowly and threw them somewhere across the room. And pushed her legs as far apart as he could, making her gasp at the sudden move. He placed a soft kiss on her hip, going further down to kiss the space of skin where the thigh met the hip and groaned.
“Please, Aaron” she pleaded, squirming a little under his kiss.
“Please what, baby?” Hotch asked mischievously, caressing her leg with his fingertips.
“Eat me!”
Hotch smirked and without wasting more time, his mouth started to devour her pussy moaning at the way she tasted. The vibration sent a jolt through her body and made her squirmed under him. He was savoring her like a starved man, and he was so good with his mouth that she never wanted him to stop.
“Oh God!” Y/N moaned loudly, as she felt pleasure filling her body. Her hand was, once again, in his hair pulling a little. He groaned at the feeling and that only increased her pleasure.
He knew she was close; he could feel it and couldn’t wait for her to cum and finally get to taste her again after so long. As he took a breath, one of his hands found her entrance and felt how wet she was, making her groaned more.
“Please don’t stop.” She whimpered.
At her surprise, Hotch pushed two fingers inside her, leaving her out of breath. He started moving them back and forth with a fast pace. Her orgasms kept building in her stomach as he maintained the pace.
“Yes, like that!”
Immediately, his lips were on her; his tongue was moving around her clit, sucking hard. His tick fingers were deeper in her. The combo was enough to send her over the edge as a strong wave of pleasure hit her.
“Oh shit! Aaron!” she came hard on his mouth as he kept tasting her. Hotch rode her orgasm never stopping his movements and in a mere of seconds she cum for the second time that night, arching her back.
“Fuck!” she groaned loudly.
Hotch smirked at the view and pulled out his fingers from her to get up and admire more of her. She hissed at the loss of contact. As she recovered from coming down form her high, they locked eyes and smiled to each other.
“Mmm.” He groaned as he pushed his fingers into his mouth “You taste so good, baby.”
Without losing her gaze, Hotch slowly slipped out of his boxers giving her a small show. She watched him with look that he knew all too well; lust and craving were in her eyes as she bit her lower lip while observing him. Hotch climbed over her, as Y/N positioned herself in the middle of the bed.
“Hi, Mr. Hotchner.”
“Hi, Ms. Y/L/N.” he bent to capture her lips so she could taste herself on him. “I’m not done with you.”
“I hope so.” She whispered smirking against his lips and felt him hardening against her. She smiled at the effect she had on him. Taking advantage of the distraction and with her legs around his waist, Y/N pushed Hotch on the mattress, ending up on top of him. He was taken by surprise but didn’t complain, he loved when she was in control.
Hotch smirked at her and pulled Y/N in a hot and wet kiss, keeping her head firmly between his hands. Her body react to that kiss as she felt a shiver along her spine, making her wetter by the second. Hotch’s hands were caressing her thighs, as she slowly got her bra undone freeing her breasts. His eyes went wide at the view, lust and desire filled his body and she could feel the effect under her.
“I need you” Hotch whispered. Y/N lifted a little for a better access and his cock slid easily inside her as wet as she was. They groaned in unison at the feeling. As he was deep inside her, she paused for a moment hesitant to move since it has been a while. He seemed to understand and gave her an empathetic smile.
“Take your time, baby.” he reassured her softly, and she nodded.
She bent over to give him a tender kiss as his hand tangled in her hair. Y/N started rocking her hips on him slowly, agonizingly slowly, making both moaning in the kiss. She moved like that for a few minutes to adjust again to his thick size.
“Oh God” she whimpered.
For him it wasn’t different. He groaned at every move she made. Her inner muscles were tightening around him, making him groan out of pleasure. Soon he started moving up, meeting her thrusts midway. The only things that could’ve been heard in the room was their skin slapping onto each other, the groans and the heavy breaths.
Y/N stood up to face him and started moving faster on him, taking him every time deeper. She felt her orgasm starting to build in her stomach. As he read her mind, Hotch’s quickly found its way between her legs meeting her clit and started moving his fingers in circle faster and faster.
“Don’t stop, Hotch!” she moaned loudly. He let out a low groan knowing she was close and moved faster.
“Cum for me, baby” he urged rubbing her clit, begging for her release.
Y/N pushed back on him a few more time before a strong wave of pleasure hit her hard. She loved how well he knew her body, how he could make her cum so effortlessly. He always knew how to move with her to give her the pleasure she deserved.
“Oh wow!” she whispered coming down from her orgasm, trying to catch her breath. For his point of view, Hotch took a moment to admire her. She was always beautiful in his eyes but the way she looked post an orgasm always drove him crazy and made him want to give her more pleasure.
She captured his lips once again and Hotch took the chance to roll them over again, making her gulped. He covered her body with his as he remained inside her. He kissed her one more time as his hand traveled along her body and meet her left breast. Hotch cupped it and begging to massage it carefully, stroking her nipple with his thumb. She moaned at the feeling, craving for more.
He went kissing down her neck, on her soft spot. He continued his way down her body, leaving wet kisses all over her chest. As he kept playing with one nipple, he took the other into his mouth making her groaned. He played with both her breasts while her hands were scratching him a little on his back.
“A-Aaron” she moaned softly.
“What do you want?”
“You” she urged. He smirked and stood between her legs. Hotch took his cock and begun sliding it over her entrance. He wanted nothing more than have her right there. He entered her slowly wanting to let her feel every inch of him. They both groaned and he gave her a very little time to adjust and started thrusting deep inside her, increasing the pace every time more.
“Fuck, baby.” Hotch groaned “I’ve missed you so much.”
As she felt the familiar feeling in her stomach, a shiver went through all her body. She wanted to tell him how much she had missed him too. But was too caught in the moment to even think straight, the words didn’t seem to want to come out from her mouth, just moaning and groanings.
She felt the pleasure filling her and wrapped her legs around him to pull him closer and deeper. She was close and he could feel it by the way she was clenching around him. He pounded into her with everything he had while one hand reached for her clit and started rubbing it again in circles, making her squirm under him.
“Oh yes!” Y/N cried out loud as she came hard again. Hotch slowed down his pace enjoying the view of his lover and give her time to recover. Out of breath and still high, Y/N pulled him over her and kissed him deeply holding his head between her hands.
“I’ve missed you too, honey.” She whispered against his lips, and he smiled. His hand was traveling up and down her side with the fingertips brushing her skin. Y/N’s hands were tangled in his hair pulling them a little and making him groaned.
The open mouth wet kisses all over her chest were increasing her desire. His gentle touch was sending jolts to her core as he wrapped the legs tighter around him. He knew she wanted more but he took his time to feel every inch of her soft skin under him. After so many months they really felt connected again, there wasn’t a display between them anymore. It was just them now.
Suddenly, he thrusts hard into her, making her gasped. Before she had time to react, Hotch started moving deliciously slow as he felt her muscles tightening around him every time more.
“Please make me cum, Hotch.”
She was getting closer as he went deeper. Hotch stood up and gripped forcefully her hips, pounding harder on her. He groaned loudly at the feeling of her wet and tight pussy. She was driving him crazy as much as he was driving her crazy.
“You like that, baby?”
“Oh, yes!” she moaned “You feel so good. Don’t stop.”
One of his hands found his way between them and reached for her clit one more time and he started to rub it faster and faster making her squirm under him. She arched her back at the mixed emotions that were going through her body. Pleasure, ecstasy, joy, love, pride, all provoked by the same man. No one had ever made her feel the way he did.
He groaned knowing he was close too but didn’t stop working on her.
“Cum with me, Y/N”
He slammed into her harder a few more time before he finally released himself inside her. That, combined with his fingers still rubbing her clit, was enough to send her over the edge.
“Fuck!”
“God!”
Hotch collapsed on top of her, and she wrapped her arms around him wanting to feel him as close as possible. Waiting for their breath to return to normal, Hotch left a few tender kisses down her neck while her hands were playing with his soft hair.
They stood like this for several minutes, enjoying each other’s company in the silence of the room before Hotch rolled off her and laid next to her. He opened his arm for her offering to rest her head on his chest and she happily accepted, snuggling onto him.
“It’s good to have you back” he said breaking the silence and she looked up to him with a wide smile on her face.
“It’s good to be back” Y/N assured him softly and pecked his lips.
“I love you so much.” He took a deep breath, not sure if continue but did it anyway “I was terrified of losing you. I’ve been miserable since you left and didn’t have the courage to admit it. I knew you were doing your job and couldn’t be prouder of you, but every time you leave--“
Y/N abruptly interrupted him with a deep kiss.
“I’m here now. You have nothing more to worry about.”
He smiled softly and kissed her again, cupping her cheek with his hand and caressing it a little.
“You need to sleep now.” Hotch said before kissing her forehead. She nodded slightly and fell asleep at the sound of his heartbeat. A sound she had missed and never failed to make her feel safe.
As the hours passed by, Y/N didn’t seem to find the right position to sleep. Everything seemed to distract her; the lights coming from outside were too bright, the wind, waving the leaves, was too loud. The bed was more comfortable that she remembered, she kept tossing and touring around trying to put much effort to shut her mind and fall asleep, but every attempt got wasted.
She reached for her phone on her nightstand to check the time. It was 2:30 am. She turned to face Hotch who was peacefully sleeping, snoring lightly. She scoffed at herself at the thought of how much she had missed earing that sound. It used to drive her crazy when she was trying to sleep, and now she could hear his softly snoring for hours.
Y/N watched him sleeping for quite sometimes thinking that it would’ve helped her fall asleep but didn’t seem to work. She climbed out of the bed and put on her panties and the shirt he wore and walked to the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible to not wake Hotch. Once there, she opted for a chamomile, hoping that it could help her. She sat on the counter waiting for the water to boil and was too caught in her thoughts that she didn’t notice a sleepy Hotch appearing in the room, wearing only his boxers.
“Can’t you sleep?” he asked softly while walking to her.
“No.” Y/N reached for his hand and offered him to stood between her legs and he happily accepted. “It’s not easy to get used to the city again. I kinda miss the desert.”
They shared a laugh before he bent to kiss her lips gently.
“I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No. I turned around and you weren’t there.” He assured her and she smiled.
Y/N captured his lips again and deepened the kiss by taking his head in her hands. He groaned in the kiss and pushed himself into her a bit more grabbing her on the hips. In a mere of seconds, the kiss became hot and desperate. Both were eager for more contact. Their wandering hands were traveling on each other’s body. She felt the heat in her body caused by his touches.
Their session was interrupted by the sudden whistling of the electric kettle, warning that the water was boiled. Hotch hadn’t even noticed the thing on the stove and looked at Y/N with a questioning look.
“I was making some chamomile.” She explained.
“I’ll make you a cup.”
“Actually, I prefer what we were doing.” she smirked at him. Hotch looked at her with a devilish smile and turned off the stove before kissing her again. She wrapped her legs around his waist to pull him closer and felt his already hardening cock against her. He quickly got rid of his t-shirt that she was wearing and assaulted her neck leaving a wet kiss on it and making her shift a little back on the counter.
“Aaron.” She moaned as he kissed down her neck and started giving attention to her breasts, taking one in his mouth, sucking hard, while massaging the other. Her head tilted back as her body was filled of pleasure and her minds was too caught in the moment to think straight.
“Oh God! I need you!” she urged as her hands pulled his hair a little to get his attention.
“What do you need, baby?” he asked, knowing full well the answer but loved to hear her saying it. She groaned annoyed but played along.
“Please. I need you to fuck me!”
No needing to be told twice, Hotch lowered his boxers just enough to free his hard cock and shifted her panties to the side. He slid his dick over entrance a few times to feel how wet she was and entered her slowly, making both of them groaning at the feeling.
“You feel so good, sweetheart.” He whimpered. He started moving right after, going deep inside her. Every thrusts were perfectly placed to give her the most pleasure possible. He knew how to move to satisfy her, and she was amazed by how well he knew her body.
“Oh God! Don’t stop!” she moaned pushing him closer to her, using her legs.
The familiar feeling in her stomach was starting to build again, her inner muscles were tightening around him. He groaned and it took all his strength not to come right away.
“God, Y/N.”
One of his hands moved to her clit and started rubbing in circle, faster and faster, adding more pleasure. With a few more deep thrusts, he sent her over the edge, making her squirm under him.
“Fuck!” she moaned loudly.
He gave her very little time to rest and without notice he slammed hard into her, making her gasped in surprise. He pounded inside her with everything he had. His hand started working on her clit again as she wrapped her legs around him pulling him closer. She knew he was close too; she could feel it from the way his other hand was tightening on her hip.
“Cum for me, Aaron.”
“Together.” He said in a low groan. A few more thrust well placed, combined with his fingers working on her, and they both were hit by a strong wave of pleasure, reaching the edge, and groaning each other’s name in unison. Hotch stopped moving to give themselves time to catch their breath before bending over Y/N and lifted her chin to kiss her lips deeply.
When they parted, he kissed her forehead and caressed her cheek with his thumb. In his eyes, she saw all his love and tenderness. She could get lost in his gaze for hours, admiring those beautiful hazel eyes.
It always amazed her how he could be so stern at work and then at home he was so gentle and loving. She understood why he built this kind of a shield; it was the job who required it, and she did the same. But she was glad that he was comfortable enough to lose it when she was with her.
Without further waiting, Hotch slipped out of her making her gasped at the loss of contact. He picked her up from the counter as she wrapped her legs around him and walked to the bedroom. He gently laid her on her side of the bed and quickly climbed behind her and covered them both with the sheets.
With her back against his chest, Hotch wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled Y/N impossibly closer to him. He could smell the scent of her vanilla shampoo and remembered how much he had missed this. Having her this close still felt like a dream even thought he knew she was there, and he planned to enjoy every second of her presence.
“You’re so much better than chamomile.” She joked and heard him laugh behind her right before he placed a tender kiss on her neck.
“Sleep now. Goodnight, baby.”
“Night. Love you.” She mumbled softly.
“I love you too. Welcome back.” She smiled as those were the last words she heard before falling asleep in his arms, feeling safe. Hotch thought how lucky he was and fall asleep a few minutes after her, smiling at the sound of her gently snoring.
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bearw-me · 20 hours
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This is kinda dark so if you don't wanna do it it's cool. Can I request Carmilla running into a son reader? [Years before she had her daughters she had a son but she was too strict/serious on her boy which led to him...taking his own life. The experience made Carmilla realize she mightve been too hard on him so when hid sisters come around she showers them with love] The reader thinks carmilla is going to scold him, scream at him or anything but she just hugs him hard and tells him she's sorry and that she loves him
i'd like to put my author's note up here before you guys read what i wrote/make a little disclaimer!
TW: mentions of harm
I wouldn't write the act, per-se, but i had absolutely no problem with your request because it doesn't really involve those details (fic wise) this one is mostly about comfort and a nice reunion!
just before you go, know your best-friend mal is always here for you <3 this and every other fic i write is my silent love-letter to you
𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐆𝐨 — 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞
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𐐒 includes : carmilla carmine x son!reader, odette, clara 𐐒 cw : angst, hugs, kisses, comfort 𐐒 summary : after a few decades in hell, you decide it's time to stop putting it aside and visit your mother for the first time since you've appeared in hell. as anxious as you are, she receives your visit with open arms. 𐐒 word count : 1.1 k
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The metal body of the cab rattled against the broken highway, the sights of Pentagon city flashing past you in a pink florescent blur. You sighed, slumping into the leather seats.
Were you really doing this?
The thought made your stomach bubble with new found nerves. Rolling and wrenching the muscles in your stomach so hard you suddenly had to lean forward in your seat. Forced to stare at all the dust and garbage littered about the floor.
"Oh god I'm gonna be sick," you mumbled to yourself.
"Don't throw up in my car kid," the driver growled at you, suddenly adjusting his rearview mirror so that he could keep an eye on you.
You tried not to roll your eyes, taking a quick glance out of the window just in time to witness the change in districts.
"Might wanna keep your head down kid! We're in Carmine's district now," he laughed, a hoarse sound filled with cigarette smoke.
You had never actually been in this part of hell. After all these years you've been here, watching as the districts had shifted between hands in the great soul exchange. . .
All those years until you realized she had fallen here just like you.
And you didn't really know how to process that thought just yet.
The once chaotic district was now more silent.
Shadows skulking between buildings and alleyways, making deals to sell weapons and bartering for money.
You grimaced, opting to let those images blur in your mind and let your head fall against the rattling window.
What possessed you to see your mother after all these year? Who knows. . .
It just felt like it had to be done.
Soon, the tall white building had come into view, a place you heard the overlords of hell met up.
And today, Carmilla would be here, same with your-. . .
Odette and Clara.
You stepped out of the cab, soles hitting the pavement with a tap. You paid what you owed to the driver and waved a quick thanks as he sped off, the devil on his heels.
That left you alone, standing like David against Goliath with the empire she had built.
She's. . . kept herself busy.
It's all you could think about. Staring at the gleaming tiles of the building with hesitance.
What would she say to you? Should you have told her you were coming? That you were here?
The sickness that seemed to be plaguing you had come back in waves.
The last time you had remembered seeing her, you were both alive on Earth, screaming at each others faces.
"One day, mi hijo, you will have to do everything for yourself! You will have to take over the business! YOU have to carry all that burdens us and I NEED you to be ready for that! Why can't you just see that! I won't always be here for you! YOU NEED TO STEP UP TO THIS!"
But. . .
You just couldn't do everything she had wanted of you. The standards, the rules, the burden. . . it was all too heavy for one person to carry.
And now here you were, on the white-waiting room couch unannounced.
To sayy. . . what exactly?
You bit at your nails in thought, leg bouncing up and down as you waited for your name to be called.
It was pretty empty today.
No one was really sitting in here with you.
That was a great thought.
A deep, strung-out exhale shook its way out of your lungs.
Nerves, you figured.
You didn't even know what to do with your hands, running them through your hair and rocking back and forth in your seat, wondering if it was too late to just stand up and leave-
"Um. . ." You stopped completely, turning your head towards the sound of your voice.
Just before the office doors, two small sinners stood side by side, holding a clipboard up to their faces as they eyed you with surprise.
Odette and Clara.
There was no mistaking them.
"That's. . . me?" You rose from your seat like a ghost, not really feeling anything but utter surprise.
It was the first time you've ever seen them. The same cream colored hair, the same eyes, they even stood en pointe like her.
Odette and Clara.
"Come with us," Clara beckoned, her curly hair and grey skin. . . did she look like that too? Now that she was a sinner?
Thank goodness the girls turned away from you quickly, giving you just enough time to wipe a stray tear from your eye. Estranged siblings that you've never even met. . . and you were so full of emotion at just the sight of them.
Did they know who you were?
You watched them wearily, the two exchanging quick glances at each other and occasionally, at you.
"She's right in here," Clara trailed off.
Odette glanced at you through her round glasses, a hint of worry lifting her eyebrows up "She wasn't expecting you today."
"Alright," you shrugged. I mean, it was a fact you already knew, but to hear the two of them say it to you was the final slap of reality you weren't sure you entirely needed.
The two of them opened the doors for you, watching intently as you shuffled into the room, and back at each other incredulously.
"Ay dios mio, I said I didn't have time for meetings. . ." you heard her mumble, face covered by a laptop screen, hunched over and lost in her work.
It was how you remembered her.
"Mamá," you called out, finally taking a seat in front of her desk, unsure of who or what you'd find on the other side of that screen.
With that one word, she froze still, a pair of demonic red eyes peering over the top of that silver screen.
"Mamá," you said again, a choked sound now that you realized it was her.
It was actually her.
A sinner, your mother, an overlord, who was finally before you.
It was like all the things you had planned on telling her had thrown themselves together and crumbled beneath the sight of her.
"Mi hijo."
"Mamá, I know you're mad at me," the tears came without warning, and you shuffled uncomfortably in your seat, unable to keep looking at her as the sobs wracked through your body, pleading for her forgiveness "I tried my best! I tried! I-"
"Mi hijo, I'm so sorry," your mother flew into your arms, the familiarity of her love so striking that you became undone in her arms.
She cried into your neck, a sound you've never heard before "Oh mi hijo, no heavens could ever keep me away from you, never, and I and never letting you go again,"
"I love you mi hijo."
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