#also can we talk about that episodes cold open. fucking awful i love it

[critdeeznuts]

just thinking about how GOOD the lou bega bit was. easily the best reveal in dndads so far.

THE ANAGRAM MACHINE. THE COLLECTING OF THE BODY PARTS. "A LITTLE BIT OF YOU MAKES ME YOUR MAN". "ERICA" DRIPPINS. MARGA "RITA" PIZZA.

fucking incredible. anthony burch i will never laugh at anything more for the entire rest of my life

#and its all made so much better by freddy absolutely fuckin LOSING it in the background. #also can we talk about that episodes cold open. fucking awful i love it #Taylor: (auto-tuned super low) Theres a rock in my pee stream #is something i never thought id have to hear #dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndads s2 #dndaddies #taylor swift dndads #normal oak #scary marlowe #lincoln li wilson #erica drippins

[moonjxsung]

so we're all struggling right now huh ... 😭

just want to let everything out, you don't have to read or post this ml <3

tw for sexual trauma mention ? not sure

im really upset recently because i had to cut off the only guy i found myself comfortable being around, and guess why !! he wanted my body !!! 💯💯💯🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🍻🍻🍻🍻👏🥳🥳🍻🎈🎈 no but seriously im really upset. he was an awful texter and communicator, and he knew i had really big struggles with abandonment PLUS attachment. i had to beg him to text me back and just talk to me, which he still didn't unless i was (reluctantly) flirting with him or if i was venting to him and needed him.

we saw each other in person while he was at my work for a while, and then tried to literally have sex with me there ???????? i told him no and brushed him off since i was uncomfortable with it (it's my fucking job hello why are u trying to fuck). about a week before he came to see me, i opened up to him about my sexual trauma and disassociation issues, and he literally said "i don't even wanna touch you now" after. PLEASE TELL ME IF IM TWEAKING BUT THAT REALLY UPSET ME WTF and then also made fun of me when i was having a disassociation episode ummmmm anyway!

i texted him and again begged him to talk to me and asked him why he acted the way he did, and he apologized so i thought he'd change. HE DIDNT 🔥🔥🔥🔥

he continued to flirt and be sexual with me even though i wasn't really comfortable with it, but i was really attached so i let him get away with it even though i knew i shouldn't. then i told him how i was panicking about that old guy at my job (the one i told you about WHO GOT FIRED WE CHEERED) and he completely left me to deal with it on my own and i was PANICKING. i even texted him twice after my meeting and he still to this day hasn't texted me back (i texted two weeks ago). i haven't reached out since and he hasn't checked on me once 🔥🔥🔥🔥 me when i attach to cold nonchalant men who i think i can fix then end up hurting myself 🔥🔥🔥🔥

-🦢

Ohhhhhh classic case of a man only keeping you around because he wants to use you but he’s a fucking terrible person in every sense of the word!!!! I know this trope very well it sounds like my ex 😍 and then they only reach out when they want nudes or to sext and then they disappear again 😍 mmmm yeah do that thing again where you treat me like fucking garbage and I’m too stupid and naive to walk away 😍 so hot

Also not him trying to have sex at ur place of work….. AND THEN WHAT HE SAID WHEN YOU OPENED UP ABT YOUR TRAUMA???? HELLO?????????????? Hoooooly fucking shit I am so sorry I literally had a visceral reaction to READING THIS I want to k!ll him actually

Cold nonchalant men who ghost u unless they want sexual favors in return my beloved 🔥 exactly my type 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I am so fucking sorry jfc please tell me you’re aware that you deserve SO much better and you dodged a bullet with him 😭😭 sending all my love I guess we really are just going THRUUUU it this week. Who else up ruminating and yearning for the past so they could go back in time and do it differently 😍 feel better bby I’m here if you need anything :( 🫶

#🦢 anon #ask

[singingninja4]

6x08: Point and Shoot Tribeca Q&A

watching the episode on a huge screen with surround sound with an audience with great energy and some of the actors and creators themselves was an incredible experience. I want to share as much of that experience with you as a I can 💖 so here's a few highlights from the Q&A

when asked about the cold open, gordon stated that since 6x07 ended with such trauma they wanted to start 6x08 with the stark contrast of the calm beach scene. then we're dropped straight back into jimmy and kim's apartment, which for me was super jarring, so thanks for that gordon

the audience busted out laughing when jimmy first tried to convince lalo that kim should be the one who goes to kill (unbeknownst to them) gus fring. I think it was just his delivery of it, but in the q&a bob mentioned that he thought that it was hilarious that everyone laughed at that scene and that he loved it lmao. But I think this is maybe why that reddit user came up with that god awful cold take that jimmy was doing that to save himself. I don’t know how it could even be interpreted that way, especially after the interviewer asked him that exact question, “was jimmy doing it to save himself or to save kim” and bob was like ???? he definitely did it to save kim. Anyway I don’t know what that reddit user was on about.

the audience also laughed when gus said, "lalo talked him out of it" when talking to kim, and bob said he thought that was fucking hilarious that we laughed at that too 😂

The interviewer at one point asked rhea about how “kim was straight up ready to shoot someone” and rhea was like ???? she wasn’t??? and then she went on to talk about how she imagined that kim had never shot a gun before and about kim’s internal struggle on the drive over to fring’s house. she had opportunities to leave, to even report it to the cops, but she resolved to do whatever she needed to do to save jimmy even if she was terrified. 

When mike asks kim “why are you here, Ms. Wexler?” and she points a gus’s double and says, “to kill him.” the audience bust out laughing at the double’s reaction lmao it was just so fucking funny. bob also stated that he thought this was hilarious so I’m curious if we all laughed because of the energy in the room or if it read that way for everyone else. y’all will have to let me know!!

tony, peter, and gordon were asked several questions about lalo’s death scene and show down with gus. I can’t remember all of them, but I do remember the interviewer asking about the set up for the show down in 6x05. either Gordon or peter…or maybe both mentioned the principal of “chekhov’s gun” which is “If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired.Otherwise don't put it there.” Tony was also asked if that was really him and Patrick lying in the grave in the superlab and he said it was. They had to lay down there for a few hours lmao

they also said that they decided to have mike be vague when telling jimmy what happened with lalo because they wanted lalo to always be a ghost in the back of jimmy's mind. a kind of boogeyman that he always feared would come around the corner. so thanks for that peter and gordon 🙂

I know I didn’t cover everything in the q&a, but this post is getting too long as is lol I still really wish I had been smart enough to write down all my thoughts sooner than a week after the showing though…but since I met rhea after the event I was on a high from that for days and that experience occupied too much head space lmao actually let’s be real, it’s still occupying all my head space

#better call saul #bcs s6 #bcs s6 spoilers #point and shoot #tribeca film festival #*op

[lonesomedreamer]

SNW Liveblog: “Among the Lotus Eaters”

In which they’re mean to Spock for no reason, but Spock helps save the day anyway.

In its own way, this is scene just as staged/cheesy as anything in TOS…it’s also giving NBC Hannibal (not a compliment from me).

Look: I just don’t care about the supposedly corrupt bureaucracy and chain of command in Starfleet. When I watch Trek, I want to escape into a post-scarcity utopian society, and nuTrek can pry that out of my cold, dead hands!!!

Other things I don’t care about: Pike’s on-again, off-again relationship with Batel. Sorry. This show already has too many characters vying for screentime with too few episodes to develop them to be wasting time on this.

Love that Pike makes sure to put out the candles before he leaves…meanwhile his quarters has a huge, open fireplace that burns 24/7.

Not that everything they do on the Enterprise isn’t science-related, but… “science specialist”? Do you guys even WATCH the show??? Gold is for the command division, red is for operations/engineering, and BLUE IS FOR SCIENCE! At least pretend to give a shit about your show’s own universe. (Oh…wait…)

“Most of the time I fly the ship, which is cool, but can get boring.” Speaking for all the kids (and adults!) who have fantasized about flying the Enterprise for the last 55 years: kindly fuck off.

“Can’t you just say ‘two moons’?” / “We get it, Spock.” Spock is the science officer (and ALSO Vulcan). Get off his back!!! His SNW crewmates nitpick him worse than Bones ever did.

I don’t like Ortegas much—she’s still written like garbage, no fault of the actor—and her perpetual bitchiness towards Spock is NOT helping.

“Doctors love being tasked for a mission because of their combat skills.” Maybe you should’ve thought of that three episodes ago when you were LARPing Wolverine in slo-mo against the Klingons for like ten minutes, M’Benga…

This line might have been okay by itself—McCoy-esque, if you will—except they’ve been giving Spock shit for Doing His Damn Job for the entire episode so far.

I love Christine, and SNW!Christine has grown on me, but…she’s not even the Head Nurse on this show. Why is she running Sickbay solo? Am I supposed to believe that the Enterprise doesn’t staff more than a single doctor??

“As long as it stays isolated to Uhura” Since they don’t know the cause and therefore whether the condition is infectious, shouldn’t they at least isolate Uhura? (They experienced a similar outbreak just a few episodes ago!!!)

Speaking of Uhura, seems pretty shitty of the writers to have Uhura be the first one to lose her memory: TOS already did that. (If it’s an homage, it’s not a good one.)

I adore Ethan, but sometimes his line delivery is weirdly stilted.

:')

There’s literally no one else left on the Bridge apart from Spock and Ortegas? Okay…

“It’s not the Spock show!” but it should be.

Whatever’s affecting the rest of the crew should affect Spock differently and/or belatedly due to his different genetic code. Then again, the only thing these writers seem to know about Vulcans is that they talk about logic a lot.

Not the computer having a ghost-of-Mufasa moment with Ortegas… (“Remember who you are.”)

“I feel like I know how to do this. And I’m the only one who can.” * Put a pin in this.

“Abso-friggin’-lutely.” Awful.

I didn’t think you can block a phaser blast with like...a physical shield?? Especially one (presumably) set to kill???

Kirk was involved in a lot of fights, but watching the captain of the Enterprise repeatedly kick/pistol-whip a guy who’s already laying prone on the ground is…surreal and horrible.

Trek’s always been two parts morality play, one part scifi, but can I get the scientific part of the reveal again? Something about radiation from an asteroid?? It sounds kind of interesting—but they’re just gonna gloss over it, aren’t they??

Also, the Enterprise is designed to protect its crew against all kinds of radiation—we know that because it was built to fly in SPACE, which is radioactive as fuck. So what’s special about these asteroids (and if the planet’s atmosphere is too thick to be penetrated by the Enterprise’s scanners, why can’t it protect the planet from the radiation coming off the asteroids that surround it)??

Please stop showing Pike punching this guy over and over again. It’s actually upsetting, I can’t see the point, if there is one.

Pike: “[Rigel VII] shows us who we really are…” Pike 30 seconds earlier: kicking and punching an unarmed man who’s sprawled out, bleeding, on the floor Pike: “The lives of my crew mean everything to me.”

sure-jan.gif

Look…TOS could be really unsubtle and on-the-nose about its messaging. It still did it with so much more grace and flair than THIS. “He was right. Not having a past…it can be nice for a while.” “I know what you mean. But maybe some memories are worth the pain of others.” / “The story of your life, the details…they matter!” Wow, what do you guys think is this episode trying to say?!?

*“No one but you could pull this off.” In “Mirror Mirror,” a visibly nervous Uhura hesitates after Kirk issues his orders; he then reassures her by earnestly saying “You’re the only one who can do it.” It’s meaningful because it’s true—Uhura is the only one both with the necessary skills and whom Kirk can trust in the mirror universe. Here, it’s just Pike stroking the ego of an officer who’s already an arrogant smartass…plus, while Ortegas might be the best pilot on board, the episode repeatedly makes it clear that she is NOT the only one qualified to “fly the ship.”

“I don’t blame Spock. He’s still got a lot to learn.” Why the fuck would anyone blame Spock for anything that went down here?!! The man was trying to analyze the asteroids—the very same ones that robbed everyone of their memories—at the beginning of the episode when everyone was rolling their eyes and saying “not now, Spock,” and look where it fucking got them!

And in the very next line, we learn that Spock came up with the solution that SAVED THE SHIP/CREW.

“It feels logical to me.” This is the kind of shit y’all should be angry about re: Spock, not him smooching Christine. It FEELS logical. Retch.

I know I sound really critical here, but I actually found this one a lot easier to watch (almost) straight-through than some of the previous episodes, i.e., without having to stop and scream in frustration. It was less mundane and plodding than the previous one (and left SNW!Kirk behind, thank God). That said, I did find myself tempted to fast-forward through some of the scenes on Rigel VII, and I did skip around during the Pike/Batel scenes. I also saw a lot of comments that this episode is very TOS...I guess so? Imo the resemblance is surface-level only, though.

The Good: Hey, they're on a STRANGE NEW-(to-the-viewer) WORLD! Imagine that! — La'an's costume and the way she's styled for the away mission. — Boring subplot aside, Batel also looks really nice. — The vibe, planetside, is trying to be like TOS. Gold star for effort? — A few funny lines. — Ethan gets a lot of flattering shots in this episode. :3

The Bad: A lot of time wasted between Ortegas' repeated “I fly the ship” mantra (both early and later on) and the Pike/Batel scenes that bookend the episode. — Almost everyone being critical of what Spock says and how he says it; it borders on unprofessional and mean and is ESPECIALLY bad since Spock then uses science to restore their memories (off-screen, of course). — Making Uhura the first one to get amnesia. — Failing to develop Ortegas at all in what I assume is supposed to be an “Ortegas episode.” — Christine's hair. My poor girl! — Spock forgets how to READ?!?? (I missed this while I was watching because it's just Too Stupid for me to believe they actually went there.) — Gratuitous violence from Pike that seemed to serve no thematic or symbolic purpose.

There better be Spockstine in the next one, because without it, Ethan’s face is still worth it…barely, though.

#i think i had more to say but then I just ran out of steam lol #this episode was better than the kirk one ('kirk'... ''''kirk''''...) #but idk not by a huge margin #luth liveblogs snw

[prettybluelites]

Thoughts: The Innkeeper

Ahhhhh here we go, part 3 of 3. I'll do the new episodes next week once I've had time to digest. Ugh, I can't believe I have to wait until I get home from work tomorrow to watch, what the actual fuck? Anyway!

That little lick of flame to open is kind of elegant, I like it

"Soul Reaper" makes me laugh because I can just imagine that guy being like, "Yeah, I'm a reaper of souls but also...I've got soul" and it's doubly terrible.

Just watching Zheng in action and thinking about "Every pirate captain captains pirates differently"

I really love Stede's crew lined up and watching as they approach the Revenge, I think they all look suitably shellshocked and I think they're all at least a little bit thinking of it like Jim was when they were talking to Archie, a place where their lives meant something

Stede scaling the side of the ship, not wasting a thought on something as trivial as a rope ladder

One moment to survey the devastation and then back to action

"Guys, hi!" Like there's nothing amiss about the scene he just walked in on. Never change.

"I thought you'd be taller" is such a great callback

"He retired" belongs in the Treacherous Liars Hall of Fame. And "If you don't want to work anymore, you can just give up, I guess," is another early favorite for best line delivery of the Season

Love Zheng's face when she says "Leather. And B.O."

When I watched the trailer and I saw the bits that had this blue saturation to them I called a dream/vision situation and I guess I wasn't far off. Everything about the way this is shot is gorgeous.

My sis: "Why is there a pig?" I think since it's a dream (-ish) it's one of those things where the brain just tries to plug in something, I don't think Ruthie has any real significance but I would love to hear thoughts if anyone has any. It did remind me a little of the bit in "Cold Mountain" where Inman meets the goat woman who cares for him for a time. Like, some mysterious hermits have goats, some have pigs. *shrug*

I think i want to start a band and call it the Coolin' Bevvies

Better name for a band than Shit Tits, anyway

Jim and Olu forever, even if not as a capital-c Couple, even if only as best friends they tell stuff to

The way Con's voice trembles when says "I dared to mention your fuckin' name" - masterful

Stede seems to be realizing that for everything he's coming to understand about Ed and about pirating there's still a whole world of stuff he needs to learn.

Okay, dumb question, is Ed's shirt black or is it purple? Or is it legit changing from shot to shot? Or is it just the...the filter or whatever they used here? (Sorry, I don't know the lingo) whatever, I love it, sometimes his hair even has a purple cast to it, so cool.

Aw, Stede, listen to you, talking it through

When Ed starts flashing back in reaction to Hornigold going at him and there's that one tiny burst of Izzy laughing at him - oh god, that's such a gut punch

Gravy Basket would also be a great name for a band

In all seriousness, Taika is so good in this whole scene

I really like Olu defining a friend as "someone I'd like to see grow old"

Lol every time at "This one has a smell" because yes, chamomile has a smell and it is weird

"I never said that"/"You say that all the time" - another hilarious callback/inversion

Between multiple viewings of both this episode and the trailer, I've seen this bit with Black Pete and the crossbow probably dozens of times and I still laugh out loud every time

Madeleine Sami is gorgeous, just sayin'

I think...Izzy's trying. That's all I'm gonna say for right now. I think he's trying.

"I hate you. I've always hated your guts." Oh, all my insides clenched. Oh Ed.

And then...and then. I don't even know where to start about this whole sequence. I loved it the first time I watched it, and I sobbed (always a good indicator in my book, I think Stede saying "I messed all of this up" is what really touches me off) and I think I've loved it more every time I've watched it. It's beautiful and perfect and sweet and just the right amount of dramatic and just the right amount of...silly, which doesn't mean I'm selling it short or diminishing it in any way, I mean silly in the best possible way. And the way they smile at each other when they're finally face to face? And the way Ed leans in? That's it, going to watch again....

I was too young (and too American, probably) to have really gotten into Kate Bush in her heyday, I knew "Running Up that Hill," and her album "The Red Shoes" got played a little on the radio around here when it was out, but I honestly don't think I knew "This Woman's Work" until recently. I now love it just by virtue of it being so perfect in this scene. The ethereal-ness of it and the way it builds with the action, or the action builds with the song - I can't think of something that would have been better.

The way Stede kind of steels himself before taking the towel off Ed's face

And the way Ed's fingers immediately close around Stede's

If I'm that far in my feels after 3 episodes what is the rest of the season going to do to me??

Thanks for reading, if you're still here! Everybody enjoy episodes 4 and 5!

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #our flag means death #the innkeeper #ofmd s2 e3

[astaroth1357]

Brothers React to the MC Looking at Them Lovingly

This is a personal experiment. This is the very first time I've written one of these with a goal in mind, "Make them fall in love all over again." It's a tall order. I hope I succeeded. 🙏 Special thanks to @a-chaotic-dumbass for picking the mood for this one!

Intro:

We all know that look. The one where one person stares at another like they just realized they're the only thing in the universe and they're in fucking awe of it. The kind of look that tells you they're utterly enthralled by that other person and just can't get enough of their presence. That look. Yeah, the brothers just got that look out of the MC.

Let's warm some cold hearts, everybody.

Lucifer

Lucifer was always beautiful. Always has been, as an angel or a demon.

A morning star is one that outshines all the rest. It stands out when the other stars have dimmed, holding onto its luster in defiance of the sun. 

There couldn't be a truer title for Lucifer to have. Not the horrors of war nor the fires of Hell could tarnish his radiance in any way…

But there were moments, like right then, where the MC caught a glimpse of a different sort of Lucifer.

His brothers would often only see the uptight Lucifer, the practiced visage of perfection that he tried so hard to keep up… 

But after a long day, when he thinks he's alone, he retires to his room to listen to his music and the difference is astonishing.

There's something so entrancingly calm about him… How the light of the fireplace flickers and dances across his alabaster skin to the subtle slouch of his posture. His face no longer marred by creases of stress and frustration… 

And his expression is so pure… So tranquil and at peace… Beauty without effort. A shine that can't be ignored. A morning star, in the truest sense of the word…

It took awhile for Lucifer to see the MC leaning against his doorframe.

They were staring at him with the oddest look… Smiling like they were enraptured by something, but he didn't have a clue why. He was just sitting there…

So, naturally, he turned to suspicion.

"Am I really that amusing…?"

Frankly, he wasn’t prepared for the little laugh they let out in response.

"Mm? No, no... I'm just always so amazed by you, is all. I'll leave you to your music..."

Having thoroughly ruined the mood, the MC then turned to leave. But Lucifer was already upon them before they could step away, wrapping his arms around their waist and letting contented hum escape his chest.

"Going so soon…?"

Apparently he appreciated the compliment.

Mammon

He didn't have to do it.

When Belphie bumped into one of the House's vases, shattering it against the tile, he didn’t have to take the fall for it.

It wasn’t connected to him at all. He could have stayed quiet and no one would have pointed a finger at him for once.

But he did.

When Mammon set his phone down on the table, MC knew instantly that he had lied in the chat.

He was with them the entire day, he didn't have the time to accidentally break a vase. He hadn't even gone down that hallway all day...

But he said something anyway.

And he didn't even look fazed. He didn't turn towards them seeking approval nor did he look irritated that Belphie didn't speak up. He didn't curse at himself for doing something so self-sacrificing either...

When Mammon leaned back into the cushion of his couch, the MC saw something truly remarkable on his face… A smile. A small one, sure, but relaxed… 

Assured in his own actions. Confident in his choice and accepting the consequences… undeserved, and likely thankless, they may be.

A genuine, serene smile…

Mammon wasn't sure what he expected to see when he turned to the MC. Probably confusion or disbelief that he, the Great Mammon, could be so selfless.

Definitely not the awed, lovestruck look he got...

"G-gah!" He panicked slightly and pressed himself back against the armrest of the couch in shock. "Wh-... What'cha lookin at me like that for??"

When the MC didn't answer after a few seconds and just kept staring, he honestly didn't know what to do. Were they broken or something??

"Oi, MC! I asked ya wh-Hey wait a minute!!"

He made a noise between a yelp and a shout when the MC leapt forward and latched their arms onto him. What had gotten into them??

"U-uh… MC? MC?? Damnit MC, answer me already!! Or at least stop squeezin so tight!!... MC!!!"

Leviathan 

To anyone else, it was just Levi being Levi.

He had finished a new episode of his latest animated obsession and he had to share it with someone. Anyone would do, but the MC was always willing to lend an ear.

Something about Levi really changes when he talks about his passions… It's like he comes alive in a whole new way.

He speaks at a mile-a-minute, but that's because he's so excited the words fly from his mouth. 

Some part of him is always bouncing, be it his leg or body. Sometimes even his tail will swish and curl behind him like an ecstatic puppy. And his eyes… 

Citrine pools that glimmer and dilate from the exhilaration of it all. It's his little world and anyone can see he's thrilled to be sharing it. 

You'd never know he was shy. You'd never think he'd look down himself. You'd never guess that he hid himself away… Why would someone so full of passion and life ever want to? Some things are just too beautiful to keep hidden...

Levi had only gotten six minutes into his latest rant before he finally registered how the MC was staring at him…

This man has seen enough shoujo to know what that look means and it shut him up sooo quick. If anyone else were in the room they would have seen a beet-red Levi desperately trying to hide his face.

"M-MC…! S-top staring at me like that…!!"

"Like what~?" 

He didn't have to look at them to hear the teasing lilt in their voice.

"MC…" He peeked out from behind his fingers to see them still staring and covered himself up more vigorously. "Stoooop…!!!"

But secretly? He wished they'd never stop. His cheeks may have been red from embarrassment, but his heart was trying to hammer its way out of his chest to hug them itself. Hell, he'd have happily given it over to them if they'd asked…

Please just let those loving eyes be for him and him alone...

Satan

Soft isn't exactly a word anybody would use to describe Satan, least of all himself.

His anger was quick to spark, his strength was nothing to scoff at, and even his smiles were nothing but plastic for nearly all of his existence…

Nearly.

The MC learned surprisingly quick that there was one thing that could bypass all of the hidden ferocity to Satan's personality. Something that could make him melt like butter in the summer sun…

Satan had always looked a little cute when he was reading. He was easily at his most expressive when engrossed in a thrilling story or deeply intrigued by something he found between the pages of a book…

But watching Satan read about cats, as he was right then, was really something else entirely.

Maybe it was the way his emerald eyes would sparkle or the lopsided grin he just couldn't hide as he would scan the pages about the playful habits of Bengals or the relaxed nature of Ragdolls…

Maybe it was the sheer impassioned dedication he took the subject, pouring countless hours into collecting and memorizing every fact he could from their diets to coat maintenance.

Or maybe it was the sheer fact that anytime he saw a picture of kitty in-print he looked like a besotted schoolgirl drawing hearts around her crush in a teen magazine.

Really, who's to say? But to the MC, it was proof that under all that anger, there was a tender, loving center even for the smallest, softest creatures…

Satan automatically snapped his book closed when he saw MC watching him from behind a bookshelves. Caught red-handed…

He knows exactly how he looks when he's doing his research internally squealing over cat pictures so he tries to do so in private...

He was about to sputter out a defensive explanation but then he registered their face…

He'd seen that look described in stories, romance novels mostly, but he'd rarely seen it in action… and never once leveled at him with such intensity…

Not to be cliche, but frankly his heart skipped a beat.

Satan forgot about his book briefly and got up to close the distance between them, tilting their chin up to keep their eyes on him.

"Like something that you see, Kitten?"

"You could say that…"

He laughed at their attempt to play coy, but let it slide just this once… Easy to do with them looking at him so amorously.

Asmodeus 

Asmo is a very popular demon. Someone so free ought to know quite a lot of people, after all.

And, of course, he had plenty of fans. He made DevilTube videos, hosted radio shows, fashion designed, and even modeled.

So it wasn't very surprising when a young demoness stopped him while he and the MC were out shopping. It wasn’t the first time he had been asked to sign autographs, but this meeting… it was different.

It was clear to them both that this girl was shy. Though she held out the paper, her eyes stayed firmly on the ground and she stumbled on her question… She likely a fan from afar, but everything about her seemed meek… unassuming.

Most people would have just gave the autograph then went on with their day. The interaction could have taken five seconds at most… but not Asmo.

He asked her name… where she was from, how she was feeling, her favorite foods, outfits, makeup, you name it. All with investment.

It was amazing to watch the shy young woman slowly open up, getting more bright and cheerful with each passing question until it evolved into a healthy conversation.

When their little meeting finally wrapped up, he gave her back the paper (now signed) but also fished out a bottle of perfume from among the mountains of bags he was carrying. He gave it to her and wouldn't hear anything to the contrary, he could always buy another.

None of his brothers ever gave Asmo enough credit for his giving nature… even if he had his own way of going about it. Though he cared so much about image and his ability to shine, he never hesitated to make sure that the people around him shined too...

Asmo waved to the fan as she scampered away and was about to  apologize to the MC when he saw their face…

The man knows this look well. He's seen it a billion times, though it was particularly cute coming from them.

"Awww MC! Taken by my beauty are you~?"

He was about ready to kiss their cheek when they responded.

"No, not your looks, Asmo… with you."

… Oh.

It was very rare to see Asmo speechless, but for a few seconds his mind seemed to take in their words… letting them fully sink in before his heart utterly melting.

Oh MC… His sweet MC!!

Asmo ended up dropping the rest of his bags just so he could properly litter his human in nuzzles and kisses, the both of them humming and giggling in delight despite their shameless PDA.

Of course it would be his MC to see that part in himself… Who else would take the time?

Beelzebub 

Food is a precious resource to Beel. For him, it's a lifeline. A good meal could save him from the brink of starvation…

But that still doesn't make him incapable of sharing from time to time.

He and the MC were walking back to the House after getting takeout from Hell's Kitchen. Beel hadn't even waited until they left the restaurant to start eating his share, spilling the smell of fresh food into the air around them…

Things were going fine on their route back until they heard whimpering behind them…

A hellhound puppy, not quite old enough to bear its fangs, seemingly followed them as they were walking… It looked like it had been out for some time and eyed their food with hungry eyes, but weak posture. Who knows when it last had a meal?

The MC was about to tug at Beel's sleeve and say something, but their demon was ahead of them this time.

A casual observer might have gawked at the sight of Gluttony kneeling down to offer such a lowly creature a sandwich. But the MC knew better. When you spend your whole life hungry, nobody more than you understands that kind of pain in someone else. 

This reaction wasn't out of character for Beel, it was elementary.

And when the puppy finished its meal and covered Beel's cheeks with appreciative licks, he just laughed and scratched behind its ears. Amethyst eyes looking more relieved at its health than disappointed he lost some of his lunch...

Food was Beel's lifeline, but kindness is what made him who he was…

When the pup finally scampered off, Beel looked over at the MC to tell them it'd be alright and saw their face…

He wasn't really sure what they were staring at… Did he have something between his teeth again?

"MC? Are you okay...?"

They laughed at him for some reason but pulled him in for a hug so they must have meant well.

"You're so sweet, Beel…"

Beel's never one to refuse a compliment so he just hugged them back, beaming.

"Thank you, MC…"

Belphegor 

To say that Belphegor tended to be on the melancholic side would be an understatement… It wasn’t that he was incapable of expressing joy, it was just harder for him to do than most. Not helped, of course, by his tendency to keep his true feelings vague and hard to pinpoint.

But on those rare occasions where he was overjoyed… Belphie could really be something special…

The MC and Belphie were attending one of Beel's games and it was a tight one… Both teams had spent most of it tied and Beel's team was running out of time to overtake that slim margin.

Belphie had always been a supporter of his twin's athletics, but this time it was tense even for him. He kept on the edge of his seat and didn't even nod off during the breaks like he normally would… The MC could just tell how nervous he was for Beel…

But right as the time was about to run out, Beel made a last minute score and sure, the whole field erupted, but Belphie? Belphie hollered.

The normally sleepy and mellow demon was on his feet in an instant and practically shredding his vocal chords in excitement. If his tail had been out, it would have been beating against the bleachers like a war-drum. And his expression?

Belphie's smile is said to stop hearts for a reason. When he puts his all into a grin it's almost like he ascends to Heaven once more, as pure as an angel's choir and as warm as a summer's breeze… Nothing in his eyes but pride and adoration for his beloved twin brother.

Truly, a heartwarming sight to behold…

Belphie didn't calm down until the rest of the crowd settled and was about to point out Beel's skill to the MC when he noticed their face.

… oh no… Why do they look so sappy…?

"You really love your brother, don't you?"

Belphie quickly hid his thoughts behind an irritated frown and plopped back down in his seat… but that didn't shield them from seeing his pink cheeks.

"Of course I do. What kind of question is that?"

He debated just joining Beel on the field to hide his embarrassment when he heard them snicker back.

"Yeah, you're right… Don't mind me."

Oh he minded. He minded a lot that he let his carefully veiled image slip like that. But thinking back to that smile on their face…?

Maybe being a little open wasn't so bad after all...

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me hc #obey me scenarios

[aoitrinity]

Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it. 

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in. 

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length. 

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages. 

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money. 

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments. 

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve. 

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

#supernatural season 15 #spn finale #speculation #destiel #destielgate #the ending was not the ending #fuck the cw #trust the story #we were robbed

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment

Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,100ish

Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment

A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!

________

“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”

“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”

“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”

“Really?”

“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”

“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.

“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”

“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”

“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”

“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.

“Yeah. You alright?”

“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”

“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”

“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”

“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”

“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”

“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.

“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”

“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.

“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”

“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.

“Twenty years, why?”

“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.

“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.

“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”

“You got that fancy computer though.”

“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”

“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.

“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.

“Debatable.”

“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said. 

“Are you any good?” he asked.

“No.”

“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”

“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”

“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”

“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”

“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”

“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.

“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath. 

“You okay?” 

“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”

“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”

“No. Why?”

“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”

“That was Dee’s hoodie.”

“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”

“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”

“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.

“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.

“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”

“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”

“This Is Us?” you asked.

“Supernatural?”

“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said. 

“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”

“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”

“I will Y/N. Promise.”

Friday Night

“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”

Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.

“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.

“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders. 

“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.

“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”

She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.

“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.

“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.

“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”

“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”

“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”

“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”

“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”

“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”

“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”

“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”

“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”

“It’s my adorable face,” he teased. 

“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”

“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”

“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

The Next Night

You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.

He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.

“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.

“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”

He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.

“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.

You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.

“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”

“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.

“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.

“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”

“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”

He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.

“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.

“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”

“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.

“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.

“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”

He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.

“This is fucking awesome,” he said.

“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”

“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”

“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”

“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.

“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”

“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.

“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”

“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”

“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”

“Hm?”

“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.

“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.

“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”

“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”

“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.

“If it’s a problem-“

“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.

“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”

“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.

“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.

“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.

“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”

“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”

“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”

“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.

“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.

“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”

“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.

“Now that’s just sad.”

“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.

“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.

“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“

“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.

“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said. 

“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“You don’t...talk about her much.”

“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”

“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head. 

“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”

“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”

“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.

“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”

“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”

“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.

“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled. 

“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.

“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you���d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”

“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”

“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.

“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”

“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.

“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”

“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”

“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”

“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.

“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”

“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”

“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”

“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”

“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”

“No,” you said.

“No? Why not?”

“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”

You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.

“What?” you snapped at him.

“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”

“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”

“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”

“This is my part of the house.”

“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”

“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”

“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”

“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”

He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.

“What are you doing?” you breathed out.

“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.

“The kids-”

“Not the kids.”

“I don’t remember,” you said quietly. 

“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it. 

He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.

“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”

“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”

“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.

“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”

“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.

“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”

“Oh.”

“Cause he’s kinda me.”

“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”

“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”

“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.

“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...” 

He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath. 

“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”

“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.

“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.

“All of the above.”

“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,” you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”

“Absolutely,” he said.

“Good,” you said.

“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”

“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”

“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”

“Normally the best course of action,” you said.

“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”

“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”

“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”

He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.

You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.

But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids. 

“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”

“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”

“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”

“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.

“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.

“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”

“Is there any other kind?” you said.

“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”

“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.

“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”

“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.

“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”

“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”

“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”

“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.

“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”

“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.

“Are you ready to try this?”

You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.

“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”

“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”

“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.

“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.

“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed. 

“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk. 

“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.

“I hope not,” he said. 

“Do they know? You want to date?”

“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”

“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”

“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.

“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.

“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”

“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

“Want help?” you asked.

“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you. 

“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.

“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.

“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”

“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple. 

“Night Y/N,” she said.

“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut. 

“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.

“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”

“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”

“Thinking about what?” you asked.

“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”

“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.

“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said. 

“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.

“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

#spn #supernatural #jensen x reader #jensen ackles #jensen ackles au #rpf #jensen series #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #jensen fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

[nat-20s]

Part 4 of Wonderful! Au! This one isn’t an episode! And It’s not funny! It does, however,  provide the context around Part 3! Also, Jon signs in this one, and sign languages have their own grammar and structure, but I display his signs translated into English and denote them with <> instead of “”. Here goes!

~*~

When, two days ago, Jon woke up gasping at 3 am, Martin didn’t think anything of it. Their nightmares were much like their chronic headaches: sometimes occurring daily, sometimes going weeks in without showing up. They were uncomfortable, surely, and sometimes had lingering effects, but there was a routine to them that took away much of their sting.

When he then throws off the covers, grabs the pack of cigarettes that only gets touched maybe three times a year, and makes a beeline for their balcony, Martin realizes that something worse is going on. Dread starting to settle in his stomach, he attempts to stave it off through action. He grabs the comforter  and puts on a pair of slippers, going to accompany Jon. The early morning spring air is bracing enough to someone like himself, who, barring a certain deeply unpleasant year, had always run hot, it must be awful for the heat sink that is Jon. Sure enough, he finds Jon shifting on his feet, trying not to shiver too much as he’s handling the lighter.

Getting closer, while still allowing Jon breathing room, he offers over the blanket with a gentle smile and gentler words “Wanna talk about it?”

Jon doesn’t take the blanket. Jon doesn’t even look at him. “Talking to you has often been the problem, so no, thank you.”

Oof. Instinct tells him to react with a matching tone, to jab right back. That instinct is one that he’s long learned to ignore. Instead, he wraps the blanket around his own shoulders and replies with a certain level of blitheness, “Huh. Probably shouldn’t have married me then.”

Jon’s shoulders slump, and the harsh lines of his features soften. He still, however, won’t look at Martin. “Sorry, that was...a poor way of phrasing things. Sometimes I just think..”

There’s a silence between them for a few seconds as Martin waits for him to expand on the thought. When he doesn’t, Martin prompts, “Yes?”

Jon sighs with all of himself, before taking a drag of his cigarette. “Four years ago. If you hadn’t been there, I think I would’ve gone through with it. I’m glad for the life we got to build afterwards, but. Sometimes it feels as though I’m being rewarded for failure. Or perhaps, more accurately, for compliance.”

Four years ago. Four years ago exactly. The date dawns on Martin, simultaneously the worst day of their lives, and the day of their freedom from the fears. The realization makes him understand why Jon’s treading the ruts of a worn out argument, a old ache. These days, Martin doesn’t have much to say on the matter. He thinks the second Fucking Jonah Magnus opened the door, and that it was Fucking Jonah Magnus who did it, they no longer had any right choices to make. No matter what way they did the math, the outcome was always going to be terrible. However, when he wakes up warm, with their cat curled up at their feet and his husband curled into his side, he can regret the build up all he likes, but he can’t deny his joy at how it, eventually, all shook out. “Reward would imply intent, and I don’t think what we have now was orchestrated by anything other than ourselves. It’s not like the web promised us a summer wedding if we finished opening the rift.”

It’s too early to have the conversation. Jon seems to realize this at the same time that Martin does, because he snuffs out his cigarette on the railing, and says he’s going back to bed.

Four hours later, Jon leaves the apartment. He doesn’t say where he’s going, and Martin doesn’t ask. In the past, it would’ve been enough for his anxiety to spike, for the insidious thoughts of “this is it, he’s finally sick of me, always knew this would happen,” to circulate. He’s mostly able to stave off that way, able to come to the rational conclusion that this day was hard every year, and that they both needed space to process, that they weren’t even fighting, really. Mostly. He still has to keep himself busy to stave off the worst of it. The sardonic part of himself notes that their apartment’s always sparkling when they’re at their lowest, stress cleaning a habit the two of them share.

Jon gets home close to midnight, and doesn’t look at him as he falls asleep. On the couch. Maybe they’re fighting after all. Martin wishes someone had told him.

This morning, Martin wakes up cold for the first time in months. Blearily, he makes his way towards the kitchen, and finds Jon upright and scrolling on his phone. The bags under his eyes suggest he slept about as well as Martin. He looks up, at Martin, when he walks by, which is a marked improvement. Martin stops in his tracks, and he wants to think of something easy to say. He wants to offer tea or breakfast, he wants to give reassurances, he wants to remain steadfast in his conviction that saving their former world and ending up somewhere else was the best move, he want to smoothly open up discussion. Instead, he blurts out the question that’s been keeping him tossing and turning for the past several hours. “Are we okay?”

Jon opens his mouth, closes it, and lets out a frustrated huff through his nose. He raises his hand in a fist and nods with it. <Yes.>

Inanely, he asks, “Are you okay?,” which only gets him a flat stare before Jon signs <I’m getting some damn sleep.> and shoves past Martin to what is supposed to be their shared bed. Martin lets him, for now, but they’re going to clear out some of the tension this afternoon.

He makes the elective decision to record the episode by himself. He supposes he could send out a tweet telling their audience it’s an off week, but he wants to record it, both for himself and for Jon. After he’s done, he does a three knocks in rapid succession on the doorframe of the bedroom, a code they had established, god, back in the Prentiss days to let the other know it was them. Jon stirs under the covers, so he asks, “Can I come in?”

A hand rises up, giving the same nod as earlier. Before he walks in, however, he also asks, “Can I join you on the bed?”

<Yes.>

Martin crawls in next to him, and Jon immediately turns over to face him. Before he says anything, Jon signs <I love you.>

“I love you too. Hey, did..did you hear me recording?”

<No. You did an episode solo?>

“Yeah. Sort of figured you weren’t up for it.”

Jon shrugs and gives a tilt of his head that Martin reads as “Fair.” <What’s it about?>

Martin gives a shit-eating grin, the first smile hes given in the past two days. “It’s a surprise.”

Jon sticks out his tongue at him, which makes some of the weight on his lungs lift. “It’s also not what we need to discuss. What’s been going on, my love?”

<Same old, same old. Crushing guilt, swells of regret, the general feeling that I don’t deserve this life. I’ll get past it again. It’s just hard, this time of year.>

Martin knew all that already, but, “There’s something else though, this time, isn’t there?”

Jon drops his eyes down to his hands, which he keeps resolutely still. With nothing but an earnest plea, Martin asks, “Why did you sleep on the couch? That’s not ‘same old, same old’.”

To his surprise, Jon comes in closer, only leaving enough room between them that he can still sign. <I love you. So much. Enough to terrify me, sometimes, but.>

“But?”

<Sometimes I can’t look at you without seeing the past. I’m sorry.>

Involuntarily, Martin glances down to Jon’s abdomen. Despite his torso being covered, Martin knows the shape of the scar there, because there are times where he can still feel himself creating it. “I know how you feel. And it’s. It sucks, but I think it’s okay. As long as..as it’s not the only thing you see looking at me.”

Jon shakes his head, and gives an only slightly fragmented smile. <Not at all. Mostly I look at you and I see my favorite person in all of existence, literally.>

Martin relaxes into the mattress and runs his fingers through Jon’s hair. Pressing their foreheads together, he replies, “Ditto. Don’t tell The Duchess though, she’s the jealous type.”

That gets a proper laugh out of Jon, and Martin’s sure that they both know tomorrow is going to be better.

#wonderful! au #jonmartin #post canon #tma #jon sims #martin blackwood #THIS TOOK ME MENTALLY THREE DAYS I HATE WRITING THEM IN CONFLICT EVEN IF THE CONFLICT IS RELATIVELY GENTLE #also i didn't know!! what level they would be at after four years!! I think they're mostly okay but also!!! sometimes there's bad days! #anyway....they love each other... #part 5 will be fluffier i promise #also also should I transfer the main fics over to ao3 as well???

[darter-blue]

Read it here on ao3

Or part one, two, three, four , five , six and seven on tumblr

Bucky

It’s a little like whiplash, one minute Bucky is in Steve’s arms, pressed against the elevator wall, getting his mind blown by Steve’s giant hands on his bare skin and his giant dick rutting into Bucky’s, hips rocking into Bucky’s, and the next minute there’s a crash and Steve is gripping Bucky tight and shielding him with his body.

Bucky could be mistaken, he is a little hungover, but it looks like Iron Man has just landed on the roof of their elevator. Presumably to save them from the terror of being trapped at the very high height between the first and second floor.

Except Iron Man - Tony Stark, even Bucky knows who Tony Stark is - is looking at them both with a very pleased expression and seems to be leering in at them through the service cover.

'Well well well,' Stark says, shaking his head, 'I leave you alone for five minutes.'

Bucky may be having a hullicinatory episode.

‘Tony, I mean,’ Steve looks down at Bucky, at the pink ‘groom’ t-shirt and the ring on his finger - down at his own much smaller, matching blue ‘Elvis said we do!’ t-shirt - and then back up at the superhero peering in at them. He steps back and carefully lowers Bucky to a standing position, but keeps one giant hand on his waist. ‘I guess this is actually exactly what it looks like.’

‘Oh I know,’ Stark says, boosting himself up by his rockets (wowowow, Bucky is four feet from the most advanced piece of mechanical engineering in the United States right now) and hovering through the hole and into the elevator, ‘it’s all over twitter, genius.’

‘Oh shit,’ Bucky says, ripping the phone he had put on silent (because fucking Darcy would not stop texting him) and sees way too many missed calls from his sister. One from his mother.

The texts from Darcy are still rolling in.

‘Twitter? You flew all the way here because a bunch of people twittered about this?’ Steve’s voice had dropped to a tone that Bucky doesn’t recognise but oh, he likes it.

‘Tweeted,’ Stark says, shaking his head.

Steve narrows his eyes, and the sweet open face that Bucky has been staring at all morning suddenly morphs into something much more menacing.

If Bucky hadn’t just come in his pants he'd be in trouble - as it is he can feel his heart rate picking up again at the effortless authority Steve is exuding. Okay fuck, now that’s he’s thinking about it, his dick is perking up and no, no, no. This is not the time.

Please do not let this situation get any more weird than it already is.

‘Tony, what are you doing here?’

Iron Man - looming huge in his suit in the tiny elevator - takes a small step back from Steve, and doesn’t seem confident when he answers, ‘Rescuing you?’

‘From what?’ Steve asks, ice cold.

‘From being stuck in a broken elevator?’

‘Bullshit,’ Steve says, less cold, more heat this time.

‘Uh, okay, look, full disclosure, I flew here in the quinjet to make sure that Thor hadn’t addled your brain with his god juice and left you to get yourself vegas married to a gold digger,’ he looks over at Bucky, whom Steve tightens his grip on, moving his body further between Stark and Bucky with zero subtlety, ‘seems like I maybe underestimated how literally you would take my advice to do something crazy.’

Steve is shaking his head in a sharp, hard, definitive no.

Bucky is letting him do all the talking, having a… not a great memory of what had gone down the night before (flashes of images, feelings, sounds. An overwhelming sense of comfort and happiness. Contentment… but no real basis from which those emotions have stemmed) and also this is Tony Stark, Iron Man… and Bucky isn't really sure what to do with that.

Just staying out of it seems like the wisest course.

Steve, in lieu of using his words, chooses to reach past Bucky and depress the emergency button.

‘Woah, hey!’ Stark says, grabbing at the wall as the elevator starts to move.

‘Don’t you have something rich and important you should be doing, Tony.’

‘Okay, I’m getting the impression that you’re not that happy to see me.’

‘Gee, you have some real keen observational skills,’ Steve snaps.

‘Look-’

‘With all due respect, Mister Stark-’ Bucky starts.

‘Mister Stark was my father kid,’;

‘Mister Iron Man,’ Bucky says, heavy on the sarcasm, ‘This has nothing to do with you.’

‘Listen Kid,’

‘Bucky,’ Steve corrects him.

‘Bucky?’

Bucky doesn’t bother to nod, he lets Steve’s glare do his talking.

‘That’s a name?’ Stark’s lip is raised in a grimace.

‘It’s a great name,’ Steve has his shoulders squared and his Jaw lifted and he looks suddenly one hundred percent a man not to be questioned.

Bucky can’t help the smile spreading across his face. Doesn’t even want to.

‘Steve, you can’t be serious about this.’

The elevator comes to a stop on their floor and Steve’s grip on Bucky loosens as the doors open.

‘Excuse us, Tony.’

‘Steven Grant Rogers you are trending. There’s photos of you in this ridiculous T-Shirt all over the internet. We need to do damage control!’

‘What’s wrong with his T-shirt?’ Bucky asks, hands on his hips as he lets Steve lead him out of the elevator with a gently hand on his lower back. ‘Are you being self righteous about Elvis, or about the fact that Steve married a guy?’

‘Hey now,’ Stark says from the elevator, ‘I’m mad that he didn’t know you yesterday and today you’ve got matching rings on your fingers.’

‘And?’

‘And that's… Not normal!’

Both Steve and Bucky turn around at Stark’s words.

‘When, Tony, in your entire life, have you ever aspired to be normal?’ Steve asks, standing to Bucky’s right and crossing his lovely arms over his very large chest.

Tony Stark has his mouth halfway open, his eyebrows pinching into a ‘v’ over his narrowed eyes, standing in the doorway of the elevator as the doors move in and out like a concertina at the obstruction.

‘Am I a grown man, Tony?’ Steve asks.

Stark rolls his eyes at the question.

‘Have I ever once interrupted you or questioned your life choices in the middle of a romantic interlude.’

‘Interlude? Steve, come on.’

‘Have. I. Ever?’

‘Okay, no-’

Bucky’s phone rings for the thousandth time - his mother again - and, as fascinating as it is to watch Tony Stark get his ass handed to him by a man that might really actually be Bucky’s husband - his husband - they probably do need to take a step into reality for a second.

‘Steve?’ he says, interrupting the argument and drawing both sets of eyes his way, ‘I think maybe we need to, maybe have a quick chat and ah… make some decisions?’

Steve’s face freezes, then smoothes out to as close an approximation to expressionless as Bucky has seen it all morning.

It looks wrong. It looks… like a mask.

Steve nods his head slowly, his shoulders creeping up before he forces them back down, taking a deep breath.

Stark starts talking before Steve can say a word, ‘I think that’s wise, Kid, I have some questions-’

‘Not you,’ Bucky says, shaking his head at Stark, ‘If we need you, we’ll call you, Mister Iron Man.’

Stark lifts a finger to point it at Bucky, his suit suddenly receding like magic and shrinking into a cuff on his wrist, ‘Listen-’

‘Give us some time please, Tony.’

Stark looks between Steve and Bucky and back again. He narrows his eyes at Steve and then nods once. ‘Okay. You have ten minutes.’

Steve glares at Stark again but doesn't protest. He turns away and leads Bucky the few steps back to his room and opens the door for him.

‘Should we… did you want to sit? Or…?’

‘We can sit,’ Bucky says, sinking down into the couch in the lounge area of the suite.

‘Are you… can I…’ Steve looks so lost as he takes a seat next to Bucky, mirroring Bucky’s slight angle, their knees facing towards each other.

‘I want to ask you something,’ Bucky says, palms on his thighs, swallowing awkwardly. Wishing he had a clean pair of pants to change into.

Steve just nods, his mask slipping further and further away as his face pales and he shrinks into himself.

‘How much of this is real?’

Steve’s face cracks, he winces, something like pain, and it cuts into Bucky. Slices at him. He doesn't know this man - at least… he doesn’t remember why he knows him, or how he knows him, but the pain on Steve’s face reaches in and pulls at something in Bucky and it hurts.

‘For me?’ Steve asks.

Bucky isn’t sure that’s what he was asking, but he nods, because he wants to know the answer regardless.

‘All of it,’ Steve whispers.

Bucky has to take a deep breath. Has to steal himself.

‘I want… I want it to be real for me too.’

Steve’s eyes snap up to Bucky’s.

‘I mean, it feels real.’ Bucky twists at the ring in his finger. Feels the texture of the metal, solid against his skin.

Real.

‘It feels like… not a mistake,’ Bucky says.

He’s trying and maybe failing to explain this right. But whatever he’s doing, it might be working, because Steve is staring at him, not breathing, not moving, but there’s colour back in his cheeks, and he starts leaning slowly closer and closer as Bucky continues.

‘I woke up and thought, you know, maybe I’d just gotten lucky enough to spend a night with the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my life... and then,’ Bucky looks back down at his ring, ‘and then I saw this, and I thought… fuck. I thought I’d won the lottery maybe, or somehow dreamt my fantasies into reality. And you…’ Bucky looks back up at Steve and his eyes… His eyes are so cool and blue and limitless. Everything Bucky ever needed or wanted is reflected there back at him. ‘You feel like home to me.’

‘You feel like home to me too, Buck.’

‘And you… you want to stay married to me?’

Steve nods.

‘Even if it turns out I’m a complete disaster?’

‘Especially then’ Steve says, a smile spreading across his face, reaching his eyes, crinkling them at the corners.

‘No, I’m serious, I’m awful.’

Steve shakes his head and Bucky nods, emphatic.

‘No, listen, I’m a mess. My refrigerator is full of cheap beer and canned cheese, and one jar of twenty year old mayo.’

Steve is laughing but Bucky won’t have it, he needs Steve to understand the total dumpster fire that he has unwittingly attached himself to.

‘No, Steve, my bed is so covered in bike parts right now I’m sleeping on the floor.’

‘I sleep on the floor every night, Bucky.’ Steve has reached out and stopped Bucky’s hands flying through the air, is holding them, bringing them to rest against their knees between them.

‘You do?’

‘I do,’ Steve says, fond and sad all at once, ‘first time I’ve slept in a long time was here with you last night.’ He looks over at the rumpled sheets on the bed, the bed where Bucky and Steve woke up wrapped around each other.

It hits Bucky that, if they’re married, are they supposed to move in together? Where would they even live?

‘I live above my shop, Steve,’ Bucky says, panic making his voice squeak.

‘It’s not a problem, Bucky, we don’t have to work everything out all at once.’

‘But I… It’s like two rooms and a toilet.’

‘My apartment is just an empty space Shield gave me to live in because I had nowhere else to go.’

Bucky’s body is moving before his brain even realises. ‘Baby, no,’ he says, pulling one of his hands free and reaching up to cup Steve’s cheek, ‘your apartment is a shitty walk up over a bike mechanic with no space and the kitchen from hell.’ He runs his thumb over Steve’s perfect cheekbone. ‘We just need to move your stuff in.’

‘I’m a terrible cook anyway,’ Steve says, huffing a laugh.

‘See?’ Bucky says with an exaggerated sigh, leaning his head in to rest against Steve’s forehead, ‘it’s meant to be.’

‘I know you’re joking, but I honestly believe that.’

‘Who says I’m joking?’ Bucky smiles as Steve laughs. ‘So what do we need to do to get all this finalised? I’m gonna need to call my mother back at some stage.’

That snaps Steve into action, he sits up straight and pulls Bucky with him, so that Bucky is almost sitting in his lap.

‘We need to get the paperwork off Mavis, we need to get our stuff, and then I guess we need to figure out whether the license is even legal outside of the state of Nevada.’

‘Well,’ Bucky says, moving himself fully into Steve’s lap and swinging a leg over to straddle him, ‘I can think of one way to make it legal.’

‘You don’t have time for that!’ Stark yells from outside the door.

‘Goddamn it Tony!’ Steve yells back.

Bucky is laughing, he can’t help it. And Steve is laughing with him. Bucky’s head falls onto Steve’s shoulder and Steve rests his palm against the nape of Bucky’s neck. Safe and familiar and blanketing him in warmth. It feels like the kind of comfort that Bucky has spent his whole life searching for.

‘We better go.’

Bucky nods his head as much as the limited space will allow. They both pull away slowly, reluctantly. But they’re smiling now. The air around them is full of promise.

Happiness.

Even Tony Stark and his ugly tracksuit and his disapproving glare can’t dampen it.

‘Where now?’

‘To the chapel,’ Steve says, pulling Bucky along by the hand and smiling ridiculously wide.

‘To file for annulment?’

‘No Tony.’

‘To pick up the wedding album,’ Bucky says with a laugh. He’s not even sure where the thought came from, but it’s vivid, a hot pink vinyl album cover, Bucky can see it. It has to be a memory.

Steve is looking back at him and smiling, somehow, impossibly wider.

‘Jesus Christ on a cracker,’ Stark says, rolling his eyes, feet shuffling to keep up with them.

They all ride down the elevator together, Steve and Bucky practically glued at the hip and Stark shaking his head at them the entire way.

It’s objectively hilarious. Bucky is holding back his laughter, but the smirk is surely stuck fast to his face.

They make it to the Casino floor, wind their way through the mostly empty gaming rooms and dance floors to a familiar set of swinging doors under a garish ‘Wedding Chapel’ sign, where a strangely familiar man is leaning against the wall only to jump up and shout as he sees them approach.

'Cap!'

'Scott,' Steve replies, much more subdued.

'Hey, Bucky,' he says, looking Bucky's way, then doing a double take as he spots Tony Stark. 'Hey! Iron Man!'

'Who is this?' Stark asks, turning to Steve, 'Steven, who is this?'

'Hey, I'm Scott,' Scott says, reaching out a hand for Stark to shake, then pulling back with a shrug when Stark makes no move to accept it.

'Scott was our best man, Tony,' Steve says, smug and smiling.

Scott looks a little like he might faint at the title, but he pulls it together, nodding along like an excited puppy.

'Oh, Bucky, I sent you the video like you asked. And then I saw all the internet stuff this morning and I thought, well I just thought, you know… did you guys need anything? A getaway van? I don't know. I know a guy, you know?'

'We're okay,' Steve says, calm and relaxed in the face of Scott's exuberance. But Bucky’s too busy checking his phone to hear anymore.

A video.

Of the wedding.

He finds the text from Scott (whose contact info he must have entered as ‘Scott - Cap?’ last night). Opens the video file and watches it like a starving man staring through the windows of a restaurant as the images load and it starts to play.

He can feel Stark leaning over his shoulder but he doesn't care.

It's there. In colour.

Steve and Bucky, at the altar. Elvis between them, Scott filming from the side, a woman Bucky recognises - Mavis, his brain helpfully supplies - beautiful blonde beehive and rockabilly skirt and everyone is smiling. Laughing.

And Bucky remembers.

He remembers standing there next to Steve. Remembers reading his vows from a tiny scrap of pink paper, remembers Steve saying Bucky was his fate, sliding the ring onto his finger.

Bucky looks down at it now, touches it reverently. 'For we are but two halves,' he says, remembering the inscription, the way it had felt so perfect. He looks back up at Steve, who is watching Bucky, waiting for something, eyes shining. 'Together whole.'

And Steve crashes into him, clutches at Bucky, pulling him close and pressing their lips together.

'You remember,' he says between kisses, running his nose against Bucky’s nose, cupping his face in his hands, 'You remember.'

And Bucky just clutches him back. Kisses him back. Just as desperate, just as joyful. 'I remember everything, Steve-Steve Rogers.' He presses his hands against Steve’s chest. Against the beat of his heart. The most beautiful part of him. 'We danced together. We've been dancing together from the very beginning.'

'Always,' Steve says. Oblivious to their audience, to Scott's squeals and Stark's scoffs.

To the crowd gathering around them.

'Forever.' Bucky whispers it. Barely a word. But he knows Steve can hear it. Knows it will thrill him.

Means it, as crazy as that seems.

They both do.

And they have the rest of their lives to make it the truth.

#steve x bucky #stucky #shrunkyclunks #fluff #bucky barnes #modern bucky #captain america steve rogers #my writing #accidental husbands

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching In My Time of Dying

Welcome to "Do You Think Sam Knows 'Light As a Feather, Stiff As a Board' Too?: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog" with Lor and Mace!

 Up today, s2,e1: In My Time of Dying

 All three Winchesters experience their own Supernatural cold open when they are rushed to the hospital after that crazy-surprise crash at the end of last season. Sam and John are superficially banged up, but Dean is in a coma and the predicted outcome isn't great. He spends most of the episode out of body, trying to beat the reaper who's after him. Meanwhile Sam and John butt heads, as per usual, and also as per usual, John goes off to do what he sees as The Hero Bit without telling Sam anything about it. We witness our first Winchester-thinking-a-deal-with-a-demon-is-the-best-option, and it has the same kind of outcome it always does: other Winchesters are pissed and sad and in the end the deal doesn't really do much good. Awesome, John. Great job, as always. But for now, Dean is saved and safe, although more emotional damage has been dealt. Sigh

 Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

 Lor:

oooo, it's gonna be the Dean wandering around in jimjams, I mean hospital clothes, episode

 Mace:

 Ha! yep

Lor:

(I watched an S11 ep last night where Sam references Dean and John out after vamps when they were kids and we just watched that ep where John said he thought vamps were extinct and I was more annoyed by that inconsistency than is reasonable)

 Mace:

 (I would be too)

 Lor:

oh, my beat up boys

(not you, John)

 Mace:

ha!

 poor Sammy

 Lor:

yeah

god LOOK AT HIM

 Mace:

 yeah

 Lor:

(I will forgive the nonsense of a car accident victim being dressed like that in the hospital because it looks so good)

 Mace:

 how many times are the boys the subject of the cold open, I wonder? Not very often, I think?

 Lor:

yeah, not often

and... hmm. Every one I can THINK of involves one or both of them being dead or we're worried they are

 Mace:

 that makes sense, since the cold opens are all about people dying

 Lor:

oh. YEP. they are

wow, I never... thought of that

 Mace:

taps forehead

always thinkin'. that's me

 Lor:

LOLOL

YES

 Mace:

 YOU TELL HIM SAMMY

 Lor:

oh JEEZ. hold me back from going RIGHT through the TV and strangling John

LIAR

"well you sure know something"

 Mace:

yep

I love Sammy saving the impala for Dean

 Lor:

YES

he understands that Baby is Dean. UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

 Mace:

 YUP

 Lor:

"I gave you everything I ever had" OH DEAN

 Mace:

"what the hell kind of father are you?"

There you go, Dean. THAT'S the question

 Lor:

hold on to that feeling, baby.

 Mace:

 banged up and angry Sam is sending me someplace

 Lor:

yyyep

"Dean is dying and you have a plan"

omg, Dean is pissed at John and heartbroken and he's STILL trying to get between John and Sam

 Mace:

DO NOT PUT THAT ON SAMMY, JOHN

JFC

 Lor:

RIGHT?!

"now what?"

 Mace:

 HAHAHA

 Lor:

poor Dean. he's having a day

 Mace:

 yep. Sammy too

 Lor:

yep

 Mace:

 but honestly, that's sort of the show

 Lor:

lol. it IS

aw, listen to him rattling off lore

 Mace:

 he pays attention when Sammy talks. Adorable

 Lor:

LOLOLOLOLOL

hey now

LIAR

 Mace:

 YUP

 Lor:

"you can either roll over and die or you can fight"

 Mace:

 "you always have a choice” FUCK 327

 Lor:

RIGHT?

 Mace:

 (327? I can't remember the number)

 Lor:

it's like when they wrote the finale someone erased every episode of the show from their minds

 Mace:

 yup

 Lor:

don't sit on a hospital floor! gaaaaah

 Mace:

 ha! honestly it's prolly pretty clean?

 Lor:

Dean would only ever do this when he's a spirit, my little germophobe

 Lor:

shudders

nopenopenope

 Mace:

 Sammy's relieved reaction is adorable

 Lor:

YES

that gives me the SHIVERS even though we already KNOW that's what's happening

 Mace:

"you can't kill death" HAHAHAHAHA

Oh Dean, honey

 Lor:

lolololololol

 Mace:

 yeah, this is a pretty great episode

 Lor:

YEP

spirit!Dean framed in the tubes supporting his body

 Mace:

 yeah cool

 Lor:

"thanks for not giving up on me, Sammy" sobs

"you know, you read the most interesting things" THUD

 Mace:

 HA

 Lor:

omg that shiver when she touches him

 Mace:

yeah

the yellow eyes are so gross. sort of milky and just EW

 Lor:

right?

"we were just starting to be brothers again" oooof

 Mace:

 "we were just starting to be brothers again" omg Sam

 Lor:

YES

uh, he was in a car accident

how is that a warrior's death?

 Mace:

 well the enemy did stage the crash...

 Lor:

okay, I’ll allow it

poor Tessa. Doin’ some of her best work

 Mace:

 HA!

 Lor:

why does John do this? because he thinks Dean will have a better chance of helping Sam not turn evil than he does?

or is it bc he's afraid someone's gonna have to kill Sam to stop that and he's gonna leave that mess for Dean cause he can't do it himself?

or... wait. I guess originally he wasn't planning on bargaining with his own life

nevermind

pay attention, Lor

 Mace:

 Hm. I think he thinks it's what a father is supposed to do and it's heroic so that fits with what he's actually willing to do

 Lor:

Dean's "what are you doing that for?" like he was getting okay with the idea and then he got scared

 Mace:

 YES THERE IS AN ANGEL WATCHING OVER HIM

 Lor:

THERE IS

 Mace:

"well that's specific"

YOU TELL HIM SAMMY

 Lor:

lol

YES TELL HIM

 Mace:

 that cryptic shit is so tired

 Lor:

yep

Sammy, you tell him, then take your brother and get away from him

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

THAT IS NOT A POSITIVE MEMORY FOR DEAN, JOHN

CORRECT

 Mace:

YUP

it's too little too late, but at least it's something, I guess?

 Lor:

"it this really you talking?" OMG

 Mace:

RIGHT?!

"why are you saying this stuff?" = "that sounds like a goodbye" and omg Dean Winchester you sad little muffin

 Lor:

OMG YOU'RE RIGHT

EVERYONE DIES ON HIM and they just KEPT DOING IT instead of FINISHING THE STORY

 Mace:

 admission of tender feelings is always followed by loss for him and that's so flipping tragic

 Lor:

YEP

 [after the episode ended:]

Lor:

(the part of me that has a PhD in creative writing is INCANDESCENTLY peeved at the ABJECT failure of storytelling that was the finale. like, other parts of me are sad and hurt and other squishy ow feelings, but that bit? wants to THROW DOWN)

 Mace:

AGREED. I am hurt for the characters but I am LIVID at the shitty writing

 Lor:

EXACTLY

it's just especially galling that they had something pretty excellent set up and some awesome parallels right THERE. and just... nonsense. Tragic blither that ignored fifteen years of character development and themes

 Mace:

YUP. It seems almost spitefully done. Like, fuck you and your fancy story arcs and show development maturity, I want to revert back to the macho bullshit This Show Is Only About The Boys nonsense and fuck all if it doesn’t even make logical sense.

 Lor:

Ug YEP

And the thing is, if they wanted to kill off Dean in a stupid mundane way and have the whole show really just be an interlude in Sam's life before he ended up doing pretty much just what he would have otherwise (I think this always would have been a dumb ending, but if they ACTIVELY WANTED THAT), they could have set up S15 in a way that made that WORK as an ending. Something with inevitability and fate and God/Chuck and no longer being the heroes and etc BUT THEY DIDN'T DO THAT EITHER

 Mace:

NOPE

in every way possible that last ep feels like a shitty writer went rogue

 Lor:

Yep

It feels like the shitty first draft of a workshop story by a third-year undergrad who thinks tragedy and fatalism are automatically substantive and Art

 Mace:

 Yes. Who also feels threatened by the more talented women in the room and listens to Led Zeppelin because he knows he’s supposed to think they’re cool. And doesn’t actually understand why

 Lor:

SNORK

#watchingspnagain #watchingspnagain 2x01 #spn #supernatural #spn meta #spn spoilers #spn 2x01 #spn finale #spn 15x20 #spn finale critical #spn finale wank #watchingspnagain dean's responsible for sam #watchingspnagain demon deal #watchingspnagain john #watchingspnagain parenting #watchingspnagain storytelling #watchingspnagain death #watchingspnagain death as character #watchingspnagain cold open #watchingspnagain dean and cleanliness

[celiastjms]

Okay, here it goes. Episode Four of Scenes from a Marriage and it’s been less than 24hrs and I have rewatched the episode what, five times? Some scenes I’ve rewatched more than that :’) and I just??? That fucking show, these fucking characters??? Spoilers ahead, behold! — and this is long, I apologize in advance!!!!

One of the two major takeaways from the episode is that they are BOTH so incredibly awful to and for each other, and that they bring out the FUCKING WORST in each other. The sadest part is that they cannot be with but also not without one another even if it means hurting each other. And — and this is absolutely fucking tragic, the other major takeaway is that they STILL haven’t learned to communicate with each other. It’s been ( roughly ) FOUR FUCKING YEARS!!! ( In the first episode Mira is not yet 40, so she’s still 39 and now she is 43 and a half so give or take four years have passed since the first episode ) And yet all they kept constantly doing throught the episode was to ACCUSE the OTHER of not listening and not being able to communicate. Like they BOTH are aware of the issue but neither attempts to work through it??

Wow, just wow.

Those two are just, I don’t even have the words???

Like, where the fuck do I even start???

Mira already dragged her feet about the divorce in Episode Three, she wasn’t willing and ready then and maybe she hadn’t noticed the why yet but she wasn’t ready for a divorce then and she sure as hell isn’t ready now, even if she struggles to admit that out loud once prompted by Jonathan.

Again, Jonathan’s calculating and cold side jumped out. Like the scene, with them on the couch?? With Mira asking if he would be able to marry her again and then getting all quiet after her “ We’re fucked ”, like Jonathan KNEW that she still wanted him, he knew that when he invited her into his arms and she happily curled against him and he knew that when he started touching her. He was the initiator and he went quite aggressive about it ( which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, pretty sure it came as a welcome surprise to Mira though ), he knew she wanted him and he very much wanted her.

Mira asking him to stay after, to not immediately go, showing herself vulnerable and at the same time content in his arms, man that was a glimpse into their sex-life during their marriage ( that gets expanded later on but more on that in a second ). She knew he’d rush to get up, NOT because he regrets what they did but because he feels the need to clean himself — now I don’t know if this is rooted in his religious upbringing and something he simply cannot shake or if it’s something else but either way it must be a fucking awful feeling to have your partner rush to clean himself after you just had sex. No doubt humiliating too in a way, so no wonder she asked him to stay and I wonder how often she had done that before, you know to have that kind of soft intimacy?

Their marriage was broken in so many ways & aspects. I know we only got to see the tip of the iceberg but holy fuck.

Mira telling him she got fired, or, asked to resign and going back to explain that it was bound to happen after she didn’t take the promotion and Jonathan getting defensive IMMEDIATELY, to the point where she HAS TO tell him she isn’t blaming him and that this isn’t what it is about is such a perfect example of them STILL not having learned to communicate with each other. I have no fucking clue how they got through the settlement conversations if all they do is either hear what they want to hear or only hear half of what the other says and then interprete it in a completely different direction because they didn’t listen to the rest. Like, it has been ( give or take ) FOUR FUCKING YEARS and they still haven’t learned to communicate.

No wonder they never fucking sorted through any issue they had prior to Mira cheating on him and leaving him since they just don’t know how to fucking communicate.

Okay back to Mira telling Jonathan she has lost her job. It fucking sucks. I can see where she is coming from, she gave them their all, she put her marriage on the line, the relationship with her daughter and how did they thank her for it? By asking her to resign when she no longer gave them their all but took time to work on her relationships and spend time with her daughter.

It’s a bit of a tragedy, that she wanted it all and for a split second she had it, only for her to lose it all in the end. Losing her job drives the point home that she has officially lost everything. I mean, sure, Mira escaped from her marriage into her career, because in her career she didn’t feel the need to make herself small in an effort not to emasculate anyone, which is how she felt in her relationship with Jonathan and while losing the life she had with Jonathan was bearable, at first at least, she still had her job, she still had the security of that. The knowledge that she was good at what she did and needed there, but now she has lost that too and is watching her life spinning out of control. ( She’ll probs get a nice settlement and will still be well off but still, it stings ) It takes her a little while to admit but she felt like she was being replaced by someone younger, by someone more fun which is why she takes such offense later when Jonathan mentions that they’re older ( we’ll get to that ). 

That no doubt hits hard and Jonathan takes THAT FUCKING MOMENT to tell her, no less than thirty minutes after they had sex, that he no longer feels anything for her? That he no longer cares? ( And later he even expects her to be happy for him? What the fuck man?? ) Like don’t get me wrong I understand where he comes from, because it is no doubt liberating to him to have reached that point — BUT fucking her to try and prove to himself he is okay without her? C’mon that’s a low fucking blow and to rub it in her face when she’s already on the ground isn’t much better.

I mean sure she asked, but what the fuck man?

It’s no fucking wonder that she lashes out. She’s hurt. He hurt her so she tries to hurt him in return. They truly do bring out the worst in each other. Also, I absolutely love that she calls him out, that she asks if he only fucked her to prove to himself he doesn’t love her anymore and the hilarious part is that Jonathan doesn’t even acknowledge it because he knows that she has a point.

She isn’t wrong when she calls him a narcissist and says he doesn’t give a fuck about how, what he says makes her feel. At the same time, I love that Jonathan has reached a point where he can meet Mira as an EQUAL — bc they both are fucking egocentric narcissists but also, because that is what she needs. Someone who is her equal, which I think Poli in many ways is, the fact that they’re fighting and going to couples counseling at least speaks for him being able to call her out on her BS which for the longest time Jonathan wasn’t able to ( but Poli isn’t Jonathan and he isn’t who Mira wants, yes yes we’ll get to that ) which is what I think he aims for when he tells her he has detached himself from her enough to still be able to enjoy her and her company but to no longer be as emotionally dependent as he once was. He just choses the wrong fucking moment??

It’s a given that Mira lashed out and tried to hurt him and she hit a fucking nerve, Jonathan wouldn’t have gone off the way he did, if she didn’t. I mean it fucking stings to be told that she wasn’t sexually fulfilled — as if he wouldn’t know that already since she cheated BUT STILL and that she felt the need to hide a part of herself and instead of acknowledging that and listening to what she says — or to communicate, how he chides her what, five minutes earlier? He goes on and talks right over her, aiming for the same topic but from a completely different angle.

They can’t fucking communicate.

And man, despite everything, Mira STILL can’t bring herself to sign the papers even though he told her pretty much directly that he no longer wants her?? It’s tragic that she realized now, where Jonathan is done, or claims to be at least, that she isn’t.

She NEVER was fully available to Poli, no matter how hard he tried and how much he wanted to have a relationship, a family with her because she was still too hung up on Jonathan, because she couldn’t let him go, because even though she cannot be with him, she cannot be without him. The worst part is that she realized that she rather holds on to Jonathan than to try and build a family with Poli when she went to couples counseling with him. When she did with Poli what Jonathan asked her to do before she grabbed her things and ran.

And all that Jonathan WANTS to hear is that because she got dumped ( and lost her job ) she comes back running to him. Which is not the fucking case, she says that Poli took longer to accept that the relationship was over. If anything, Mira left him and she left him because she rather gives up on a future with Poli than giving on Jonathan. And it’s sad that, she is honest and vulnerable in that moment because she truly opens up and reveals something of herself and all he chooses to hear ( which is understandable considering where they stand BUT STILL ) is that she got dumped and chooses to come running back to him when she has wanted to come back to him this entire time but she’d been too blind to see it or acknowledge it— even though IT WAS OBVIOUS as fuck. I mean she even tells him that she has zero desire for a fresh start, that she wants what she used to have and I don’t think she would want her job back and would want to live in the marriage the way they did before she cheated but she wants back what she and Jonathan once had, because she still loves him and she knows he still loves her.

Jonathan pushing Mira right after they had sex to sign the settlement drives home the point that he is seemingly done. You know, one last fuck, a nice dinner and that’s it. When in truth he pushes her to sign the papers because he tries to convince HIMSELF that it’s for the better. I mean he tells her he is ready to tear the settlement up instead of signing them, but at the same time he knows they need to sign it because at the point they’re at right now, they would no doubt destroy each other would they go back to each other.

What I thought was interesint, was that he signed the papers only after Mira did, which I thought the entire time he had already done and that he was only waiting for her to do the same. Funny, that he pushed her to do something he hadn’t done himself yet, right? Looks like Mira isn’t the only one still hung up on what they once had.

And god, when he tells her he wants another child and that he is thinking about doing it without the attachment of a relationship and Mira asks if he thought that she might want to give him another child?? Like?? Girl why would he? Why would he even consider you? I understand fully why he didn’t but I get too why she asked because SHE IS still very much hung up on Jonathan, she had just made that much clear with telling him she chose him over Poli and the fact that she is ready, in a heartbeat, to give him another child, which is what she had denied Poli just underlines that??

And then she takes offense when he points out that they aren’t young anymore because she takes it as an insult ( considering the day she had I understand that though ) and because the concept of HIM having a child WITHOUT HER whether or not a romantic relationship is involved is one she doesn’t like one fucking bit, which is why she lashes out the way she does.

They bring out the absolute fucking worst in each other and yet they can’t get away from one another. Can’t be without each other.

I’m not saying that they’re prone to violence, but Jonathan had manhandled her before, when he wouldn’t let her pack her own suit case and pushed her away. They truly bring out the worst in each other. Neither Mira’s nor Jonathan’s actions here are excusable. They BOTH are just fucking awful and they reach their breaking point in that moment. And it’s awful and it’s painful, and they still love one another, which is the worst fucking part.

Like when Jonathan leaves, he for a moment looks ready to turn around and go back, to not have things end that way. Even now, even after that, they still cannot let go of each other. They can’t with and they can’t without each other.

Jessica and Oscar delivered again. I have no fucking words. Their skill and talent is unmatched. That last scene broke me and knowing it was them without a stunt coordinator hits even harder because they just fucking went for it?? And delivered this?? My heart is still bleeding.

HONESTLY, there is so much more that I could say but this already got super long hdhfjdkskdhf ( I’m sorry!! ) I’ll probs make another post soon because I got so many thoughts BUT STILL. What the fuck was that episode??? It feels so final?? So, well and truly over that I have absolutely no fucking clue what to expect from the next and actual final episode?? I just know that I need it NOW even though I’m terrified as fuck.

#scenes from a marriage spoiler #scenes from a marriage #sfam #jessica chastain #oscar isaac #ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ — sfam meta #ɪ sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴏᴛ ᴍᴇss ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ᴅɪsᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʟᴇsʙɪᴀɴ — out #I'm sorry this got so fucking long #hence the read more fhgjfjks

[namjoon-koya]

I’d love to request head cannons of Tetsutetsu, Shoji, Mirio, and Shinsou reacting to their s/o having a Demon quirk like Mirajane from Fairy Tail. She can change into other demon forms and she’s a kind and patient person but let’s say in a tournament where Proheros and everyone are watching, Y/N is paired against a childhood bully that taunts her and says very horrible things to her while they fight and it causes the usually calm Y/N to snap and transform into a new demon form and she just goes feral and beats the breaks off the bully. Everyone sees this and it makes everyone fear her power but before Aizawa could use his quirk on her, one of the boys above goes to her and manage to calm her down before she returns to normal. (Hugs solve everything, even if your crush has the powers of Satan ☺️)

(A/N: so I’ve only seen a few episodes of fairy tail sO hopefully I don’t get it wrong also sorry if I made tetsutetsu short)

Warning: metions of reader being bullied.

He could tell you’re tense when they first announce who you had to fight against. You wouldn’t tell him anything about it though you kept saying “it was nothing I’m just nervous since everyone’s eyes will be on both of us.” Lie.

You never told anyone about how your childhood bully would do terrible things to you and say terrible things about you. As a kid you tried avoiding them as much as possible always taken a longer route to school or making sure they were never in the hallways.

After middle school you thought it would be different that you would never have to see them again, but nope apparently they’ve been coming to U.A this entire time. “Y/N you’re up.” Mina said to you “o-oh yeah sorry..” “good luck!” “Thanks Mina.” You said before jogging off to the arena.

As present mic is introducing the both of you— you could tell they already had that nasty look in their eyes as they eyed you down. Just breath you told yourself you’re not that kid that they use to bully back in the day. “You seem nervous Y/N.” They said to you.

You continued to ignore them and tried finding an opening to attack them “I wonder how you even got into U.A you’re so fucking useless.” You felt your anger bubbling up in you “it surprises me that you even got into class 1A did you actually get into that class or did you have to suck up to someone to get you in?”

You finally snapped after that. You rarely used the full extent of your quirk, but you were tired of them belittling you every time they saw you. You activated your quirk you could hear gasps throughout the arena. They stepped back quickly “useless? Do I look useless to you?!” You shout before going to attack them.

All you saw was red you didn’t hear your friends shouting your name to stop, you didn’t hear the other teachers telling you to stop. Aizawa was ready to step in until he saw Shoji quickly rush out into the arena. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you “Y/N! You need to stop please..” you were still in your demon form “please Y/N you’re not alone anymore you have everyone from 1A and me you’re not useless Y/N.”

You finally felt yourself calm down “you heard what they said?” You asked him as you felt him pull your closer to him “I did.. Y/N everything they said about you isn’t true I’m sorry you had to endure everything like that by yourself.”

If anyone understands how you feel it’ll probably be Shinso. People would always comment on how his quirk seemed more like a villain’s quirk than an actual hero’s quirk, but unfortunately you didn’t tell him about your childhood bully. And it wasn’t any much better considering your bully went to U.A with you too.

Thankfully they got put into class 1B instead of 1A it made you feel safer away from them, but when the sports festival came that’s when you saw more of them than you did at school. When they spotted you—you felt anxious you managed to stay away from them until the last event happened. You had to fight against them and it made you feel sick, but you wanted to show them you weren’t weak anymore.

You remembered all the awful things they said to back then calling you weak, useless, that you would never be an amazing hero that you should just give up on your hopes and dreams. You wanted to prove them wrong so badly as present mic announced your names both of you stepped into the arena.

You could already see their smug grin “Y/N it’s been a long time hasn’t it?” You didn’t respond to them and only tried finding weak points “I’m surprised you got into U.A considering how weak you were to stand up against me.” They continued to taunt “are you giving me the silent treatment? I’m not surprised considering how useless you are I should do a U.A a favor and just make you stop coming.”

Finally you had enough you never used your full quirk, but you wanted to show them that everything they said was untrue. You wanted to show them that you were no longer that kid that they could just bully and get away with it. You heard Shinso shout your name, but you didn’t stop.

Everyone around the arena were mumbling things and even the students from 1B and 1A you could hear Midnight say something, but you only continued your assault on them. Before you could land another punch on them you felt someone wrap their arms around you “Let.Me.Go.” You growled out.

“Y/N you need to stop this.. please.” “No I need to teach them-“ “Y/N I promise Aizawa and the rest of the teachers will take care of it. Please.. everything they said about you isn’t true and you know that, the Y/N I know is strong and independent and amazing..” you started to calm down before finally going back into your normal form.

“Shinso.. I’m sorry.” He gently kisses your forehead “it’s okay Y/n, I was just worried about you.”

Mirio always made you forget the bad times you had during your childhood years, whenever bad memories would creep up he managed to push those memories away and replace them with much happier and better ones.

During the sports festival you managed to move onto the finals and Mirio, Nejire, and Tamaki were happy for you. They kept on praising you and telling you that you would be amazing, but once you found out who your opponent was you felt sick to your stomach.

The bad memories which were locked away were starting to creep up on you again. You remembered all the terrible names they would call you, how they would harass you everyday at school and even harass you when you tried going home at the end of the day. “Y/N are you alright?” Nejire asked making you snap out of your thoughts “I’m fine.. what’s up?” “I just wanted to wish you good luck!” You smiled at her “thanks..”

After present mic was finished announcing your names the both of you walked into the arena. They were already glaring down at you “Y/N! I didn’t know you went to this school.” You narrowed your eyes at them “of course you can’t blame me you’re such a disappointment it surprises me that anyone found talent in you.” You didn’t say anything you kept repeating what your mother said to you when your quirk manifested “don’t get too upset or too angry.”

“Keep ignoring me Y/N! That’s the only thing you’re good at, your just a waste of space at U.A” you started seeing red as they kept talking and degrading you. “Just drop out Y/N nobody wants you here not even your own friends or boyfriend.” Thats when you finally snapped. What did they know? The only thing they knew was how to bully you.

Midnight shouted at you to stop, but you didn’t. You didn’t plan to stop there were times when you begged your bully to stop harassing you, but they never did so why should you? You suddenly felt someone hug you from behind you looked back and saw Mirio “Mirio let go!” You shout at him trying to shove him off, but he still continues to hold onto you.

“I can’t do that Y/N listen you need to calm down-“ “but didn’t you hear what they said?!” “I did! But you need to calm down Y/N. Deep down you know what they said isn’t true at all. Nejire, Tamaki and me don’t think of you like that we all love you Y/N.. I love you.” You stopped struggling against him and started to calm down.

“I’m sorry.. I just snapped Mirio.” He only caressed your cheek as he wiped the tears off of your face “it’s okay Y/N I promise they won’t get away with what they did to you.”

He always saw you smiling and laughing especially during the sports festival out of everyone you seemed to be the only one having actual fun (which is was like cUte) until it came down to the final match. The both of you were in together expect he has to fight against Kirishima and you has to versus against.. your childhood bully.

So when he saw you suddenly become tense and anxious he was confused he tried talking to you about it, but you would insist you were fine “are you sure Y/N?” “Yes Tetsutetsu now go you have to warm up to fight against Kirishima.” He chuckled “I can take him!” You gave him a smile “I believe in you babe.” and with that you were finally alone in your thoughts.

How didn’t you know that they came to U.A? You were really hoping they didn’t.. you hadn’t seen them around in the hallways nor in lunch.. you sighed before heading out back to the arena your turn was coming up soon and you didn’t want your bully to think you were a coward.. as you waited for present mic to call out your names you kept taking a deep breath in and out trying to calm your nerves.

Once he announced your names you both quickly walked up the steps and into the arena. Their cold piercing eyes were staring into yours with such.. hatred. You tried turning your attention to which opening spots allowed you to attack them “so we met again huh? I’m not surprised your in 1B Y/N considering your quirk isn’t so flashy and all.. I mean look at me I got into 1A.” You could care less about that.

You made equally good friends in class 1A and 1B and didn’t hate neither of the classes. “I wonder how long it’s going to take before class 1B realizes how completely useless you are I mean you couldn’t stand up against me as a child and you probably won’t now.” You tried ignoring every word they said “pft your friends probably do hate you in secret I mean I would too.” Thats when you finally snapped and decided to use your quirk to attack them. You never showed anyone your true demon form since it was “too dangerous.” As your mom would always say.

You had already knocked them out, but you couldn’t stop hitting them all the rage you felt from the past bullying they did to you was coming out. You heard everyone in the stands yelling at the teachers to stop the match and just as Aizawa was going to leap into action Tetsutetsu had already beaten him to it.

Tetsutetsu wrapped his arms around you “Y/N! Please calm down this isn’t you!” He begged “I’m not stopping! Now let go of me Tetsutetsu I don’t want to hurt you!” He only clings onto you more “you know you wouldn’t do that!” You stop struggling as he said that “I know you care about me too much to do that Y/N.. please stop what they did to isn’t fair and they sure obviously get in trouble for it, but this.. this isn’t you Y/N you’re better than them.” Your demon form started to disappear as he said that “it’s okay Y/N.. I promise it’ll be okay.”

#bnha requests #mha requests #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #mha x reader #mha x y/n #mha x you #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #bnha x you #Tetsutetsu headcanon #tetsutetsu x reader #Tetsutetsu x y/n #Tetsutetsu x you #mirio headcanons #mirio x y/n #mirio x you #mirio x reader #shinsou headcanons #shinsou x reader #shinsou x you #shinsou x y/n #shoji x reader #shoji x you #shoji x y/n #shoji headcanons

[eliemo]

See Yourself Through My Eyes

Summary: Virgil severely misunderstands Roman’s intentions. They both have a lot to work on...but they’re helping each other.

Notes: Yes I’m writing prinxiety immediately after that episode. Enjoy some gays. 

Virgil was pretty sure there wasn’t a single person in the world who didn’t know about his feelings for Roman. 

Logan definitely knew, because Logan somehow knew everything, and Patton was less than subtle about his support or dreaded pity whenever Roman would inevitably brush Virgil off or call him a name during a video. 

There was no way Thomas didn’t at least suspect something. Virgil was a part of him, after all, and he was much more attuned with the aspects of his personality than he gave himself credit for. 

That meant, of course, that Roman also knew. 

Honestly, Roman probably knew before Virgil did. He was the romantic side, always looking for signs of love and affection and passion. Well, looking for it anywhere other than Virgil. Obviously.  

And that was fine. Virgil had learned to accept it a long time ago that his feelings were just...common knowledge that would never be acted upon. 

The fact that Roman knew made him anxious sometimes, and earlier on it had certainly kept him awake at night, but he had to admit there was some relief in that knowledge. 

Roman knew that Virgil was helplessly head over heels for the Prince, and had never once acted any awkward or disgusted around him. They were friends now, the two of them making an effort to get to know each other after Virgil revealed his name, and that was fine with him. Friendship was more than Virgil had ever dared to hope for. 

It hurt a little, sure. Even if it had never been brought up, it was still rejection all the same. And the eyebrow raises from Logan and sympathetic frowns from Patton didn’t help matters either. 

But he’d get over himself. He still loved what he had, the Prince’s company and smiles and squeezes to his hand after a long day. 

It was more than enough. 

Now though...now Virgil was trying to ignore the fact that something was wrong. 

He knew the others well enough by now to pick up on when they were acting differently, doubled by the fact that he was Anxiety- it was quite literally his job to look out for any little signs that he’d done something wrong or someone was upset. 

Roman was working on something new. Virgil knew that glint in his eye, the spark of an idea forming, the air of excitement he carried with him. But it was a bit different this time. He hadn’t mentioned anything outright and he seemed almost...uneasy about whatever it was. 

Logan and Patton were obviously in on it. Patton did an awful lot of giggling which earned a stern look and an eye roll from Logan, and more than once the three of them had abruptly stopped their conversation when Virgil had walked into the room. 

So needless to say, by the time things came to a head, Virgil was already a jumpy, anxious mess waiting for the shoe to drop, for someone to just hurry up and chew him out for doing something wrong. 

He’d really thought he’d been doing well. He’d been trying to at least. Thomas was ahead of schedule, and Virgil had been careful to let him unwind and relax when he needed it. 

It was three days into the strange behavior, the sun beginning to set into the paling gray sky when Virgil left his room in search of the others, hoping he was still welcome for a movie night or family meal. 

Roman was sitting on the couch, alone in the living room, fidgeting restlessly and drumming his fingers along his crossed legs. 

When he saw Virgil, the Prince’s eyes practically lit up as he leapt to his feet, and Virgil resolutely ignored the familiar swoop in his stomach. 

“There you are!” Roman exclaimed, quickly adjusting his sash and running his fingers through his hair. “I was going to come up and get you but I- well I didn’t want to bother you if you were busy.” 

Virgil really hoped his blush wasn't as obvious as he thought it was. He shrugged, hands stuffed in his pockets. “I’m, uh, I’m not busy. What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong! I just want to talk to you about something!” 

That still very much sounded like something was wrong, and he felt his anxiety rise, squeezing shaky hands into fists, but it was hard to completely dread anything when Roman was looking at him so eagerly. 

“Yeah, ok,” he said. “Go for it.” 

Roman looked...nervous. Virgil halfheartedly thought about telling the Prince he was stealing his brand. 

But Roman was talking before Virgil could work up the courage to tease him. 

“Virgil,” he started. “I...well first of all I wanted to thank you for giving me a second chance. I know we don’t always see eye to eye but...I’ve truly enjoyed being able to call you a friend these last months.”

Virgil blinked, not quite sure what to say, struggling to think around the butterflies in his stomach. “Oh. Uh, yeah. You too.” 

God, he was so useless. 

“I’m glad!” Roman cleared his throat, wringing his hands together before continuing. “But...well, lately I’ve...I’m not even quite sure how to say this to be honest. I mean, it’s my job to be good at this but...you make me nervous, I suppose.” 

Virgil made him nervous?

“Spit it out, Princey,” he said with a small smile, hoping to convey that the longer he stalled, the more nervous they would both inevitably get. If Virgil had hurt him or done something wrong, he needed to know. “Did I...Do something?” 

“What? No! Of course not.” Roman took a breath. “It’s...well, I’ll just come out and say it. I believe I’ve caught feelings for you, Virgil. Romantic feelings, if that...if that wasn’t clear. I- er, thought about a more grand declaration but I...figured you wouldn’t like that.” 

For a second, everything froze, Virgil’s pounding heart stopping in his chest. And then the giddy feeling in his stomach was gone, butterflies replaced with cold dread as the pieces fell together. 

It made sense now. The planning when he was away, the conversations abruptly stopping, the nervous excitement, side glances, and laughter…

Everyone was in on it. Because everyone knew about his feelings, everyone knew it wasn’t mutual and that Virgil had accepted that, so everyone thought it would be ok to toy with his heart a bit. They thought it’d be funny. 

“It’s- it’s totally fine if you don’t feel the same!” Roman said quickly, eyes widening at the lack of a response, and Virgil’s heart only broke further. “Seriously I- I don’t want to make things awkward or ruin our friendship--” 

“No, I do,” Virgil said, because what the hell was the point in denying it? Everyone knew. It just wasn’t...talked about. At least, he’d thought they all had the decency not to talk about it. “You know I have feelings for you, Roman.” 

He stared at the ground, at his socked feet on the carpet, refusing to look up and see the fake excitement Roman had plastered on for the sake of a prank. 

“You do?” he heard the Prince say. “You do! Oh- that’s...that’s good! Right? So...so what are we--” 

“Why are you doing this?” 

Virgil knew he and Roman hadn’t always gotten along, and they still bickered occasionally, but he hadn’t thought...he’d never thought he would be so cruel. 

“I...huh?” 

“Why are you doing this?” Virgil repeated, finally raising his head just to try and catch Roman’s smirk, rewarded only with the other’s confusion. “Did you...what, did you all think this would be funny?” 

“What? No!” Roman sounded incredulous, confusion morphing to something a bit more angry. “Dude, I’m confessing.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Virgil hunched his shoulders, turning away to frantically scan the room. “Where is it? Where’s the camera?” 

“Camera?” the Prince echoed. “Wh- you think this is a prank?” 

“Of course it's a prank!” Virgil hadn’t meant to get worked up, but honestly could they blame him for getting angry? Did they think he was just going to stand here and take his heart getting broken? “I don’t know why you all thought this would be funny. Yeah, I get it, I’m an asshole. Doesn’t mean you guys have to--” 

“You’re not an asshole,” Roman said, and Virgil scoffed, squeezing his eyes shut because he was not going to cry. “Virgil. You’re not. Why...why do you think this is a prank? Why can’t I just...like you?” 

“Because I know you don’t feel the same, ok? I know we never talked about it but it’s pretty fucking obvious. And that’s fine. Or it- it was fine until you decided to treat my feelings like some big joke. What, is it because I’m Anxiety? Am I still just some dark brooding villain who can’t possibly experience real love so why not make a stupid video about it? Is that it?” 

He took a breath, still refusing to open his eyes, willing himself to calm down, to stop talking, and get out of the situation as quickly as he could. 

“Sorry, I’m...I didn’t mean to say all that,” he muttered. “Just...god, please don’t upload this. Please.” 

Somewhere along the way his voice had fallen into nothing more than a pathetic whisper, but right now he really didn’t care. Virgil couldn’t see himself leaving his room for the next couple days at least. 

“I’m not recording this, Virge,” Roman said, and he sounded painfully genuine. “I swear I’m not. We can go somewhere else, if you want me to prove it. I promise there’s no camera.” 

Virgil’s shoulders dropped, and he relented with a shaky sigh. “Alright. So then...is this just for fun? Did I piss you off somehow?” 

“No. God, no Virgil I would never…” he trailed off, pausing for just a few seconds. “I didn’t know you felt the same. I had no idea.” 

That got Virgil to open his eyes, snapping his head up and fully expecting to see a joking smile and bright eyes. Instead, Roman’s expression was sad and genuine, and a bit guilty.

“What?” Virgil asked. “You...Roman, everyone knows. Literally everyone.” 

“Well...I didn’t. Truly.” 

Virgil blinked, momentarily at a loss because this was...there was no way. “You’re the romantic side. How could you...how?” 

Roman shrugged, suddenly averting his gaze. “You didn’t know either. I’ve been taken with you for some time now, Stormcloud.” 

Virgil shook his head, desperately trying to block it out, to push down that rising hope and excitement fighting its way to the surface. 

Because...because no. No. It wasn’t true, it wasn’t. It didn’t make any sense. He wasn’t going to drop his defenses just to be crushed and laughed at. 

“That’s different.” 

“Why?” Roman asked, soft and sincere. “Why’s it different, Virgil?” 

“Because...because it’s you. Obviously I’m going to fall for you, you’re- you’re perfect. You’re...talented and passionate and I’m...I’m me. You’re not going to fall for Anxiety.” 

His words were met with silence, and there was a bit of relief amongst the sorrow in his chest, because if Roman didn’t have anything else to say, it meant this was over. He could just...forget about it and hopefully avoid any future teasing. 

But then Roman took a step closer, Virgil forcing himself not to back up, immediately tensing up and waiting. 

“But I did,” the Prince said. “I did fall for you, Virgil.” 

Virgil shook his head again, looking away as Roman slowly approached, waiting for him to drop the act. “Stop it.” 

“I fell for all of you,” Roman continued. “I fell for your smile, for your laugh- you have the most beautiful laugh, did you know that? I wish I could hear it more, but every time I do I feel as though everything is right in the world.” 

Roman was in front of him now, one hand cupping Virgil’s cheek, and he couldn’t help but lean into the touch despite wanting to curl up into a ball and sob. 

“You represent anxiety,” Roman said. “But you’re so much more. You’re brave, Virgil. I’ve seen it so, so many times. You fight against your fears, against anything that would put us in danger. You protect us. You’re strong, Virge, stronger than you give yourself credit for.” 

“Please stop,” Virgil whispered, and it was such a blatant lie. He wanted this, wanted it to be real so badly. “Roman, I...I can’t--” 

He couldn’t take it. If the rug was pulled out from under him now, after coming so close to what he’d always so desperately wanted...he didn’t know how he was supposed to look anyone in the eye ever again. 

“I can go on,” Roman said. “And I will. I will help you see how easy you are to fall in love with if it’s the last thing I do, because you deserve to see yourself the way I see you. But I just...I need you to tell me you believe me. This isn’t a prank or a joke. I would never play with your feelings like that.” 

Roman...Roman wasn’t cruel. He could get over excited, he could take a bit longer to pick up on someone’s uneasiness, he could be loud or brash, but he would never try to hurt someone he called a friend. He wouldn’t try to hurt anyone. 

If this was a prank...it would have stopped by now. Right? Roman wouldn’t...he wouldn’t let it go this far. 

“Virgil?” Roman’s voice was soft, hopeful, and Virgil warily met his gaze. “I love you. I really, really do.” 

There was absolutely no way to stop the few stray tears that escaped at the raw emotion and adoration in those words, no way to fight against the way his breath hitched when Roman gently wiped them away with his thumb. 

Virgil wanted so desperately to respond, to apologize, to warn Roman that at this point, if this all turned out to be a joke he was never leaving his room again. 

But no words came out, Virgil still frozen in terror and treacherous hope. But slowly, cautiously, he reached forward to lace his fingers in Roman’s free hand. 

The Prince didn’t pull away, didn’t sneer or laugh or twist his face in disgust. He just smiled, and squeezed Virgil’s hand. 

“You can say no,” Roman said after a moment, never moving the hand that cupped Virgil’s cheek. He waited for Virgil to give a tiny nod before continuing. “Would it be alright if I kissed you?” 

And Virgil had definitely stopped thinking at this point, fear and self loathing suddenly losing control to something else, something much more brave than anxiety. 

He nodded wordlessly and before he could even blink Roman leaned forward, pressing their lips together, and Virgil felt his world melt away. 

It was careful and delicate and perfect, so much better than Virgil had ever imagined, and that cold ache in his heart, the one that longed for something he could never have, melted from Roman’s warmth. 

It only lasted a few seconds before Roman pulled away, but they were easily the best few seconds of Virgil’s entire life. If his heart decided to give out now, he didn’t think he would mind all that much. 

Roman didn’t go far, pressing their foreheads together, and Virgil leaned into the touch, smiling when he felt Roman rub his thumb along his knuckles. 

“I love you too,” Virgil blurted before he could stop himself, beyond relieved when Roman didn’t immediately shove him away. “I’m...I’m so sorry I thought--”

Roman quickly cut off the apology with another kiss, this one deeper than the first, and Virgil’s free hand instinctively moved up to grip his shirt. 

“I’m not upset,” Roman assured when they pulled back. “I just...hope I can help you see how perfect you really are.” 

Virgil smiled, hiding his blush against Roman’s chest as the prince wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. 

“I forgot you’re a sap,” he muttered against the red sash. “Seriously though, you can be pissed at me for yelling at you.” 

“Well, I’m not. Besides, it all worked out, didn’t it? You didn’t flat out reject me which is...what I was expecting.” 

Virgil extracted himself from the embrace to look up at Roman, and suddenly it was the Prince's turn to quickly look away, brows furrowed. 

“Seriously?” Virgil asked. “You thought I would reject you?” 

“I wasn’t always...kind to you,” Roman admitted. “And...well, I know how I am. I can be loud and annoying and you don’t always like that. I’m not...exactly an easy person to love.” 

For a moment, Virgil had no idea what to say to that. He thought back to all the times he’d mulled over his feelings for Roman, envisioning all the possibilities he’d once thought were impossible. 

He’d tried to talk himself out of loving the Prince in an attempt to spare himself from the heartbreak. He told himself they were too different, too incompatible. It would never work even if Roman did feel the same. 

But now, seeing the Prince stare at the ground with his shoulders tense, like he was waiting for Virgil to agree and call the whole thing off...it was almost like looking in a mirror. 

Maybe they weren’t so different after all. 

“You’re wrong,” Virgil said, grabbing for Roman’s hands again. “So...so I guess we’re both going to help each other. To...you know. See how easy we are to love. And stuff.” 

And ok, he didn’t have Roman’s elegant way with words. But that wasn’t his job, and the Prince seemed to appreciate it anyway, worried frown replaced with a timid, yet brilliant smile. 

“I guess so,” Roman said, smiling never faltering, and Virgil found himself matching it. “I don’t think that’s such a bad thing.” 

That was the last thing Virgil heard before being pulled into another kiss, Roman nothing but warm, welcoming, and safe, and for the first time Virgil allowed himself to let go and relax.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders asides #virgil sanders #ts virgil #roman sanders #ts roman #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #fanfiction #angst #love confessions #misunderstandings #this is sweet and gay #gays #writing

[snackhobi]

prompt: “Is that my shirt you’re wearing?”

thank you to my darling @yeojaa​ for sending this in and thank you to my darling @hobi-gif​ for beta reading it for me, you are both such lovely stars in the night sky of my life xoxo

pairing: seokjin x reader / word count: 1.9k / genre: fluff (sfw/general) / warnings: none!

--

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a hot roommate, must want to jump his bones.

Like. C’mon. Kim Seokjin is nothing if not easy on the eyes. It’s not enough that he has the body proportions of a god—broad shoulders, lovely thighs, everything in its place and perfectly in line with his height and his poise—he has a beautiful face, too. Those lips. That jaw. Those eyes. You don’t want to wax lyrical but it really is like God decided to take his time making Kim Seokjin and everyone else (like you) was just left with the dregs; the stuff that wasn’t good enough for Jin and was thrown aside.

The worst thing, though. The worst thing. The absolute worst thing about Kim Seokjin is that he is A Nice Person. 

You’d barely known each other, only a month into your cohabitation when he’d come across you crying into a tub of ice cream in the kitchen, sobbing over the guy who’d finally grown bored of stringing you along with promises of eventually becoming your actual boyfriend and had just cut you off altogether after one final lay. You were utterly heartbroken and entirely mortified when you noticed Jin standing in the kitchen doorway as you clumsily tried to dig your spoon into the still-hard vanilla, but he’d just slid down onto the floor next to you with a spoon in one hand as the other came to rest on your shoulder. He’d listened to you snivel and sniffle, quietly eating the weirdly chemical-flavoured chocolate ice cream in the own-brand Neapolitan tub you favoured—your least favourite and the one you always left till last.

Once a guy’s seen you crying your eyes out on the kitchen floor in old pyjamas, and you’ve seen him eat five pots of super hot instant noodles on the trot and chase the whole thing down with an entire box of doughnuts, you sort of get to know each other as people—both things are revealing in different ways—and it’s hard for that to not lead to friendship.

You could have dealt with Jin if he was just hot. But he’s hot and nice and funny, utterly ridiculous; he doesn’t take himself seriously while also knowing how to rein himself in when necessary to not overwhelm people and basically you’ve been crushing on him in a major, major way for a while now.

And like. Seokjin is single, so technically you have a chance. But you also have absolutely no chance at all, because? Hello? Kim Seokjin? You? You? Kim Seokjin? He’s so far out of your league he may as well be in another galaxy. And he’s also probably the best roommate you’ve ever had (cleans up after himself, doesn’t microwave fish and stink up the place, likes the same TV shows as you so there are no arguments over the remote), so you’re not about to throw a wrench into the mix by doing something stupid like confessing that you like him.

“Right, I should be back around ten,” says Seokjin. He’s all dressed up for a noraebang night with his friends—well, not dressed up really, they’re just gonna get drunk while wailing songs at the top of their lungs in a small room so it’s not like he has to go all out, but Seokjin makes everything look good. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

Seokjin is nice and hot and funny and friendly. Honestly, he’s just a dreamboat of a roommate and a man, with great friends too. Normally you would have leaped at the chance to spend a night out with Seokjin and the other guys, but you’d spilled your drink on Yoongi last time and were still convinced that he was plotting your imminent demise. Even if Seokjin insists otherwise, you want to give Yoongi a wide berth for a little while longer in the hopes he’ll suddenly suffer a bout of amnesia and forget that you spilled a very boozy and sticky Oreo and Baileys cocktail(/glorified milkshake) on him and ruined his shoes.

“I’m good,” you say. “But make sure you don’t have any fun without me and you have to let everyone know that it’s because I’m not there.”

Jin laughs, a wet squeegee of a sound, and it goes straight to your heart. “I’ll pass on the message,” he promises, blowing you a tiny kiss as he goes. 

(Ugh, he’s so cute. You hate him.) (No, you don’t.)

You seem to be setting a trend for yourself in the drink-spilling department, though. During an ad break you decide to get yourself a drink, and even though it’s just a Boys Over Flowers rerun that you’ve seen multiple times, you rush as you pour yourself a glass of orange juice—you don’t want to take too long and miss anything. Suffice to say you Fuck Up and end up with a shirt and trousers covered in juice and pulp and you miss a bunch of the episode as you clean it up, huffing dramatically to yourself the whole time, before scarpering towards your bedroom for some new clothes. 

At least, that’s the plan. You pass by Seokjin’s open door and pause, taking in the sight of a few discarded bits of clothing on his bed and across the back of his chair, things he’d clearly decided weren’t worth wearing out tonight. The one that’s caught your eye is the vibrant pink shirt strewn over his duvet, one of your favourites, one you haven’t seen him wear in a while. It’s one of your favourites because he just looks so cosy in it—Jin ends up with a lot of oversized clothes so they can fit over his shoulders, but he practically swims in material when he wears this shirt, flapping the sleeves at you and then laughing at his own antics. He could wear it as a dress if he wanted to, probably.

… so could you, if you wanted to, probably.

… but you shouldn’t. Like, that’s weird. Jin is your roommate and even if he’s made it clear that he has an open door policy, going in through said open door to get a bit of his clothing is weird. Definitely creepy.

But… you’ve already kicked off your dirtied outfit and you’re just in your underwear so you can’t be blamed for being worried if you’re going to get cold, right? You’re just grabbing the closest bit of clothing, aren’t you?

… You’ll take it off before he gets back and put it in the laundry with everything else; he won’t notice. You’ll just take this awful awful secret to the grave and never tell anyone about your invasive actions.

Oh, man, the shirt smells so good. You share the same laundry detergent but Jin had clearly tried this on before discarding it, the scent of his cologne lingering in the air as you end up swamped in the shirt (/shirt dress), and you don’t regret this. Well, you do, but also you don’t. It’s like being wrapped up in Jin’s arms. Jin’s not shy about giving you hugs but there’s something altogether different about wearing someone’s clothes.

You end up curled up on the sofa as you watch more Boys Over Flowers, knees to your chest and revelling in how cosy and small Jin’s massive shirt makes you feel. You have to hitch the material up so that your hands peep out the ends of the sleeves. Sweater paws are cute on everyone, even yourself, and you giggle as you fumble for the remote so that you can check how many more episodes there are before it turns to something else. You can indulge yourself for a bit. As a treat.

“Unbelievable, I can’t believe Minji did that,” you mutter, so caught up in the drama of it all (as if you haven’t seen this episode four times) that you don’t hear the key turning in the lock, nor do you hear the footsteps that are heading towards you—what you do hear, however, is the sudden sound of Seokjin’s voice, freezing like a rabbit caught in headlights when you do.

“I forgot my wallet,” he says. “I—”

And that’s how he catches you, wide-eyed as you stare back at him, wishing that you could bury yourself between the sofa pillows so that he can’t see you. His keys are still in his hand and his mouth is open around an unfinished word as he takes the sight of you in, scrunched up against the armrest in some ridiculous attempt to shrink yourself small enough that he would have missed you.

He stares. You stare. You both stare. And then—

“Is that my shirt you’re wearing?”

“No!” A high-pitched shrill of an obvious lie. “No, uh, nope. Nuh-uh. Haha, oh, Jin, always such a jokester, you.”

You want the sofa to suddenly develop sentience and swallow you whole, just so you can be out of this situation. So you wouldn’t have to watch as a smile starts to spread over Jin’s face, the way there’s a little glint in his eyes, the way he opens his mouth and says—

“You know, you didn’t have to turn down noraebang just so you could wear my clothes. You just had to ask, I would have said yes.” He doesn’t seem creeped out, just amused, which is—well, it’s better, but, what? He’s laughing at you? You don’t know if that’s worse, somehow, actually.

“I didn’t! I spilled orange juice on my shirt and then I saw this shirt and you weren’t home—”

“Aha, so you admit it, it’s not your shirt,” Jin proclaims. He looks smug.

“Oh my God, I am full of regret,” you groan. “My life is a disaster. Can we pretend this never happened? I will pay you literal money. Please.”

At this, Jin’s eyes turn soft. “Do you really want that?”

“I—wuh? Do I really want us both to pretend you didn’t walk in on me wearing your shirt like some weird stalker or something? Absolutely. Yes. Let’s do that.”

“I wasn’t joking about letting you wear my clothes,” he says. There’s a note to his voice, something a little doughy, yielding and warm for you, and—you know what your gut is screaming at you, but— “I always thought you’d look cute in them, and I was right.”

You splutter. Jin thought you’d look cute—he’s been thinking about you wearing his clothes—the sort of thing that, you know, couples do. But this is Kim Seokjin you’re talking about. There’s no way he’s attracted to you in the way you’re attracted to him.

… but he is looking at you in a way that’s soft and tender, the same look you give him when you think he isn’t looking.

“Jin,” you say, slow. “Are you…”

“The most handsome man alive? Yes, I am.”

You make a face at his interruption and he laughs at your expression before going quiet, eyes so big and lovely and warm as he smiles at you, and you continue to speak. “Are you saying you want to, y’know. See me wearing more of your clothes? Or, uh... Less clothes in general?”

You can feel the blood rising in your cheeks as you say this, and you can see the red that starts to tinge the top of Jin’s ears, exquisite and wonderful. “I’m saying that I’m happy to give you what’s mine, including my clothes,” he says. “And my time. And love.”

You end up pulling the excess material of the shirt over your head as you turn into some sort of bright pink turtle, overwhelmed and in disbelief but so happy.

Judging from Jin’s laughter and the warmth of his hands reaching for yours in their too-long sleeves, he is, too.

#bts #bts au #bts imagine #bts fic #bts oneshot #bts drabble #cypherwritersnet #bts fluff #jin x reader #seokjin x reader #jin x you #seokjin x you #seokjin #kim seokjin #seokjin fanfic #jin fanfic #jin fic #seokjin fic #seokjin x oc #seokjin oneshot #I'm practicing writing shorter fics and it's HARD bc my brain is like. you gotta. flesh out the scene. #you gotta explain things. you gotta establish the world. #joy.masterlist

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 5 (rambles)

I only realized last week, there’s only 7 episodes this series because the eighth would have been the Asriel centric one. So only two left now after tonight! :(

Also I finished the book during the last week so I am so READY

Ahh gotta love that London traffic!

I don’t know why but the Golden Monkey wearing a seatbelt SENT ME

Mrs Coulter is watching the mother and baby :(

Boreal saying that our world is barbaric and our world is corrupt is so accurate tbh I’m not even mad

Will literally just threw the knife into the wall omfg watch it!

Red PAN-da is becoming a permanent fixture in this show apparently

Lyra’s hair was so pretty this episode? Her costume too obviously but her hair had me in awe

The theme music to this show gives me literal chills

Boreal is evil but his house is A-fucking-plus

Okay but how does Ruth Wilson always look so gorgeous and fluid in this show?!?

Her faking nearly dropping one of Boreal’s precious collection pieces and him panicking 😅

Mrs Coulter’s little “hmm” and smile... we love a Queen

“Why are we whispering?” “I don’t know” - LMFAO

“Will, you left the window open” - LMAO and also please don’t do that, that’s like one of the BIG rules about the knife!

“He’s getting good at this” “he is” - we love a supportive feral wild girl and her dæmon

Mrs Coulter looking bored as fuck as Boreal plays his music is such a damn mood

“You’d like it here too” - Umm NO STOP PLEASE SHE DOESNT WANT IT

“Carlo, can you make that stop?” - OMG 🤣

“You’re far too conspicuous like that” - but she’s not??? She just looks like a posh well dressed woman, maybe that’s not common in this world but she looks fine??

Boreal picking out clothes he’s obviously got just for her is... eww. Just ewww.

Her reaction to the jeans/clothes though XD

“Would you mind?” - YEAH BOREAL STOP CREEPING AND FUCK OFF PLEASE

“Maybe it’s time we issue a firm denial of the tear in the sky” BRO IT’S LITERALLY HUGE AND RIGHT THERE YOU CAN’T PRETEND IT AIN’T

Oh shit the Magisterium know about that witches going to the new world + the massacre

MacPhail literally imprisoned Father Graves and for WHAT?! I think the power’s getting to him (which I know it the point but still!)

MRS COULTER SHUT THE DOOR ON HER DÆMON I’M-

Okay so I know it’s been implied/said that Mrs Coulter can go far away from the monkey already, and that they maybe have been through some kind of process that’s made that a thing, but like DAMN.

“I’m sure you’ve encountered witches in your travels” - if I hadn’t already read the books, I would be asking if she IS a witch tbh like omg

This is probably one of the few times I’ll say this but... I feel so sorry for the monkey?? Just him watching her as she leaves from the window... like that’s so sad. I get why she couldn’t exactly walk around with a monkey but urgh

“I apologize if she was a nuisance” “She wasn’t a nuisance!” - Oof you tell her, Mary

“You must be so proud.” “... I am.” - OOF

Mary showing that she’s better fit to be a parent to Lyra than Lyra’s real mother tbh

Damn Marisa disappeared FAST

Mary really googled Mrs Coulter I’m-

“You must play the serpent” “hornbeam” “save the girl and the boy” - IT’S HAPPENING IM GOING TO CRY IM SO EXCITED

The computer turning completely off and the room going dark before going red OH MY GOD

“Oh shut it, Pan” - LMAO

OH NO OH NO ANGELICA FOUND TULLIO AND SHE IS PISSED D:

A+ acting from Bella Ramsay by the way

“We WILL get you” - OH SHIT

The fact that Will feels guilty over fighting and inadvertently getting Tullio attacked by spectres because he has the knife :’(

It’s so sweet to see Lyra and Pan comforting him though

“I’m not judging” - Mary’s sister says while totally judging her for reading the Holy Bible. She probably thinks she’s about to rejoin the convent!

I find the relationship between Marisa and the monkey so interesting?? I’m so intrigued by it

“Do they drink in this world?” “That, they do well.” - LMFAO ACCURATE THOUGH

“I found her arrogant, like many women in this world.” - umm, FUCK you, Boreal you misogynistic sexist piece of shit

So Mrs Coulter was denied a doctorate despite being the best in her class because she’s a woman, and they would only have published her papers if they were by a man. I’m starting to see why she got upset when she met Mary, who’s got her own office and a doctorate and is head of the department/project

“Who I could have been in this world” - oh shIT

The way she started talking about how she felt after the whole affair/baby ordeal, followed by “we’re not talking about Asriel, we’re talking about ME” - FUCK. I love Ruth Wilson’s portrayal, I love it

“You’ve spent your time trading trinkets” - lmfao you tell him ma’am

“Were you hoping to add me to your little collection?” “I was hoping this would be a life for you here” - oh god I hate it, fuck right off Carlo

“If you got me, you wouldn’t even begin to know what to do with me” - oh SHIT :O

Lyra turning up to distract them so Will could have the chance to cut a window and steal the Alethiometer had me on the edge of my seat

Let’s be real right now, the whole last 15 minutes? THE MOST TENSE AND INCREDIBLE PIECE OF TELEVISION ASDFGHJKL

Mrs Coulter’s face when she saw Lyra at the door :’(

Also she nearly saw Will and I was sitting there praying she wouldn’t find him, I was so worried even though I’ve literally just reread the book

So um THE FUCKING MONKEY BASTARD JUMPSCARED ME AND I AUDIBLY YELLED SO LOUDLY HOLY HECK

The way that Lyra saw her mum and immediately tried to run away though, she just keeps trying to yeet herself away from her parents and I honestly don’t blame her at all

Boreal was being truly extra in the way he dropped his snake dæmon out of his sleeve like that whilst advancing on Will

“Why would I trust you?” TRUTH

Coulter saying for Lyra to stay away from Will and getting super teary eyed makes me think she’s worried Lyra will suffer like she did? Like she’s worried that Lyra will suffer at the hands of men and be in the same situation she was I think? And that’s so sad but nuanced

“I am NOTHING like you.”

So Lyra did this little head move like Marisa did in 1x02, when she made the monkey attack Pan to subdue Lyra - AND THEN PAN ATTACKED THE MONKEY JUST LIKE THAT, LITERALLY EXACTLY THE SAME, AND MRS COULTER FALLING TO THE FLOOR AND CLUTCHING THE SOFA LIKE LYRA DID?? AND LYRA WATCHING WITH THIS COLD LOOK ON HER FACE?!

SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A COMPARISON GIFSET BECAUSE IM CRYING

I love Will getting mad at Boreal taunting him over his mum, and immediately starting to punch him

HE SMASHED THAT COLLECTION PIECE ON BOREAL’S HEAD FUCK YEAH WILL 👏🏻

That was a DAMN close escape, holy fuck, but she’s got the Alethiometer back!

“The man who hurt you, I wanted to kill him” - same Lyra

I was so emotional when she was talking about how Marisa used her dæmon to hurt her and Pan, and Will saying that he’s never worried about his mum hurting him... the comparison is so sad

“I hope I’m not like either of my parents” - I mean I don’t blame her tbh

SHE CONSIDERED MA COSTA AND LEE SCORESBY TO BE BETTER PARENT FIGURES TO BE LIKE I’M CRYING

So Mrs Coulter is definitely planning some shit, like she didn’t seem that concerned when Boreal was talking about the Spectres, and like obviously I know what happens but I’ve always been intrigued as to why the Spectres listen to her instead of just attacking her. Also is it something to do with her dæmon? Like if they ARE separated in some way, maybe the Spectres don’t feed on her because it’s Dust or something? (Idk if that makes any sense)

“Deceive the guardian... okay... okay...” honestly same XD

Mary pretending to be Mrs Coulter to get past the guard is such a brilliant idea, like she just ran with it immediately, we have to stan a Queen who keeps a calm head

SHE WENT THROUGH THE WINDOW AND INTO THE CITY AAAAHHHH

The angels said they’d protect her, right? So she doesn’t need to fear the Spectres I’m assuming (I need to assume or I’ll worry)

The promo for next week was literally half what we saw THIS week and half Lee/John Parry footage I’m assuming is next week... ?

The fact there’s only two episodes left makes me so sad :( I have no idea what I’ll do waiting for the final series - and I’m assuming it’ll be delayed maybe because of Covid. Plus I’m hoping we get the extra episode NEXT series, the one that was Asriel-centred and supposed to be in this one but wasn’t filmed because of Coronavirus, so fingers crossed! 🤞

#his dark materials #hdm #lyra belacqua #marisa coulter #will parry #pantalaimon #lord boreal #charles latrom #the golden monkey #golden monkey #philip pullman #the subtle knife #dafne keen #ruth wilson #amir wilson