#again having bpd is a really helpful diagnosis for this

[duchessofostergotlands]

To be honest I haven't liked the things Catherine has been saying about mental health lately. First that talking therapy doesn't help everyone, now this. For a royal to say a short sentence or two about mental health... it can easily come across the wrong way & doesn't show nuance. Yes, talking therapy doesn't help everyone, but her saying this could discourage people from trying it out. Not everyone who feels anxious has a medical condition and needs medication, but some of us do!

Let's look at what she said (and buckle up, it's a long one):

Quote number 1: At an art therapy charity. Someone said writing music had been an easier way to get their feelings out than talking in a clinical space. Kate responded: "Talking therapies don’t work for some people, they’re not for everybody. It’s so important to have a range of therapies." She then followed it up by talking about how many people won't respond to talking therapies because of their own preconceptions about clinical spaces and so it's important to let those people know that there are safe alternative spaces like this charity where they can come for help in a way that works for them.

Unless you're asserting talking therapy does work for everyone and alternative therapies shouldn't be offered, I can't see what the issue is. It's 100% truthful. An analysis by the Child Outcomes Research Consortium found that only a third of children had recovered (i.e. they were no longer above the clinical threshold) by the end of therapy. About 40% responded they'd experienced no change at all. For adults it's slightly better but NHS Digital report only 50% of adults who access therapy have recovered by the time it's over. That's before we even get into the fact that talking therapies were built by and for predominantly white westerners and so large chunks of the population find them completely unhelpful, even actively damaging. There's an article here on that. So it's accurate to state that they don't work for everyone - for a variety of reasons - and alternatives need to be accessible for those who have reason to not trust professional services, or who had therapy and haven't recovered. In fact, this is a big problem in therapy because people often go into it thinking it'll fix things and then ending treatment without being "cured" is extremely difficult for them. And that issue is caused by precisely this unwillingness from the public and some professionals to be honest and acknowledge that talking therapies won't work for everyone.

Quote number 2: I can't find the full quote but essentially she said that normal anxieties should not be over-medicalised.

I wrote a whole thing about this, read that. I'm going to illustrate with an example from Drag Race. A few years ago there was a contestant who wasn't popular, I can't really remember why, but in their sob story episode they opened up about their clinical depression. And the reaction all over social media was "who cares? Everyone has depression!" But the thing is... they don't. In the US, where it was filmed, 2/3 of people don't have depression in their lifetime. We have created an environment where instead of normalising mental illness so those who have it feel accepted, we've overcorrected. And now it's cool and trendy to make stress into Anxiety Disorder, to making lying into gaslighting, to make your dick of an ex boyfriend's behaviour a Personality Disorder. All of which means that people who genuinely do have mental illnesses are taken less seriously and for conditions like mine (I have BPD) stigma is worse than it's been at any point since I was diagnosed 8 ish years ago. And that's not to mention medications for mental illnesses can be heavy duty. She was at an event for children and it's perfectly reasonable to question whether a doctor giving a child meds after a five minute appointment because the child said they were anxious is a sensible and healthy choice. It's there in the name - over medicalising. It's like any medical procedure. No one is saying you shouldn't cut someone's arm off if they have a serious infection and it's needed. But you shouldn't cut their arm off just because they got a paper cut. PS something slightly outside the scope of this because Kate can't be partisan but we talk about this a lot at work, the link between over-medicalising and poverty. A good article on that here.

I understand what you're saying about the fact that sometimes quotes are clipped out of context and royals need to think about what the headline will be but even taken out of context, all of her statements are accurate. And actually in my view it's the first time I've ever seen her be nuanced! I've always found her mental health work patchy because I feel like she unintentionally contributed to a lot of the issues I've outlined above but she's finally talking about things that are not talked about as much, even amongst professionals. I get your perspective because I was there a few years ago. When someone first mentioned the concept of over-medicalising to me I thought it was denying mental illness is real etc. But then I realised that knee jerk reaction was coming from my insecurities about my illness and my past experiences of struggling to get care, it wasn't actually about the concept itself.

#ask #anon #kate middleton #british royal family #mental health #mental illness #again having bpd is a really helpful diagnosis for this #because there's a huge movement within the bpd community to remove the diagnosis entirely #i don't completely agree but there are lots of people who believe that bpd is largely diagnosed amongst women who have experienced trauma #and so it's medicalising a normal human response to something traumatic

[madame-mongoose]

I wish mental health services were more easily accessible and certain mental illnesses weren't still demonized in the field

#still pursuing a bpd diagnosis #but a lot of the specialists im seeing online are all like #have you been victimized abused or manipulated by someone with bpd? #and im like :( #ough im not ready to have ANOTHER heavily stigmatized mental illness #but despite that i still do hope i get diagnosed #i think it would explain a lot #and really help me work through my issues #before it gets to that tipping point #it already has come close multiple times just this year alone #i just... idk #i want to be better i want to get better #i dont want to hurt people anymore. i dont want to hurt myself anymore #it sucjs it really does #sorry for vent posting again #i just dont have anywhere else to go #and i dont feel comfortable talking to people about this stuff usually #everyone tells me i can talk to them but.. idk. its hard to do that. so many things can go wrong. i dont like talking about myself #i like for people to have a certain image of me. prefer people not to worry themselves over me #it brings bad feelings and associations sometimes #which if i have bpd can be thhe cause of that i suppose. just makes me feel insecure? ig? guilty? makes me feel like a bad person #when people try to get me to take care of myself. even if its a good thing #idk im just rambling #nobody take this in a bad way or feel discouraged in fact dont pay any mind to this #im just spitballing #will probably delete later #monnie rambles

[werebutch]

Genuinely how do I even bring up to my psychiatrist that I think I have adhd. They never believe you know what you’re talking about -.-

#BOTH my parents have adhd and my siblings all have symptoms as well (not diagnosed). come ON #it’s fine I’ll bring it up to my old therapist once I start seeing him again #and maybe he will help me . #really don’t think I want to chase a bpd diagnosis I’ve heard it makes shit hard. LOL

[rreids]

hey, i was wondering if you'd be able to write smth with Spencer in a relationship with someone with bpd? it's totally okay if you're not comfy with that, but I've just been suspecting i may have it, and ppl with bpd are always portrayed so negatively in relationships. it would be just rly nice to read ur take on how Spencer would handle that and just see some positive representation! (my mental health has also been shit so it would be p comforting lol) thank u 🫶

hi love 🫶 i don't know a ton about bpd, so i hope i did this justice! i researched the diagnosis and how healthy relationships help with regulation and in what ways they do (both accounts from experts and from those who are diagnosed). and i hope you feel better soon <3 it sucks when your mind fights against you.

PROMISES • S. REID X READER

reader has bpd (written by an author without, ideally will be comforting rather than hurtful. please let me know if it is offensive in any way); gn!reader; spencer has to break a small promise but makes others; talks of therapy; teasing; fluff; ~500 words

“Hey, sweetheart,” Spencer whispers into the phone, voice a little strained. “I’m really, really sorry, but I can’t make lunch today. We’re on the way to a case in Omaha. It’s a really bad one.”

Your heart sinks. “Oh.”

“You know I want to be there more than anything, right?” He’s shuffling papers in the background, and you know they’re in the middle of getting ready on the jet and that he’s still making time for you, but it still makes your mind race with worry and upset. “I’ve been looking forward to it all week. And I promise I’ll take you out as soon as we’re back.”

You frown, fiddling with the promise ring on your finger. “Will you still talk to me?”

Spencer chuckles. “I think I go insane when I go too long without hearing your voice. As long as you don’t mind calls when it’s two a.m. there, I’m calling before bed every night I have enough time.”

You sigh.

“I know, honey. When’s your next meeting with your therapist?”

“Tomorrow,” you mumble, gnawing on your lip.

“Well, you have permission to talk about how much I suck,” Spencer teases lightly. “As long as you know it’s not by choice that I’m being a bad boyfriend.”

“You’re not a bad boyfriend.”

“Yeah?” You can hear the smile in his voice.

“You’re the best boyfriend. You understand me.” He does. He’s looked into BPD extensively — he knows even more than you do, rattling off statistics, assumed causes and connections, coping methods, everything. He knows how to break you out of the spirals and to calm your impulsivities.

“You have other boyfriends?” Spencer sighs dramatically, and you laugh.

“Why would I have them? You’re more than enough.”

Spencer hums. “I am, aren’t I?” 

You groan.

“I’m messing with you,” his voice is fond and soft. “I gotta hang up, everyone’s coming and we need all our focus on this case. Message me if you need anything. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

“You don’t do anything,” you know you’re exaggerating, but it’s hard to stop the words.

“I do, just nothing out of our normal,” he’s nudging you gently, reminding you to think things through before acting impulsively. “I give you permission to watch our show without me if it’ll keep you entertained.”

You laugh. “Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll be good,” you draw it out.

Spencer snorts. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Spence.”

A beat.

“I’m not actually going to talk shit about you to my therapist, just so you know. I do talk about you though.”

And then you hang up. 

He sends you a ‘???’ and a ‘I wanted to say something still.’ right after. When you tell him to say it, he sends a ‘Do what you need to feel regulated. I don’t take it to heart, you know I don’t.’

And he doesn’t. He’s so sweet, so achingly perfect, understanding of when your moods swing, or when you feel empty, or whenever anything changes and you can’t tell why. 

And he always helps you down, kissing scars and tears and whispering praise as he gets you to feel right again.

#my works #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid scenario #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid imagine #requested

[nikolai-alexi]

There is something so special to me about the unlikely friendship between Borderline + Bipolar James and Bipolar Barty.

*light TW for BPD and Bipolar episode descriptions and injuries, illusion to suicidal ideation during a depressive episode*

They start out basically hating each other, but they both make a point to be passably civil to each other because both of them are important people to Regulus, and neither of them are willing to hurt Reg by being awful to each other. It’s an incredibly slow process, but eventually they get sort of close to each other via forced proximity. Little things start slipping out as they talk, sometimes they hang out at parties if they’ve had enough to drink to tolerate the other’s presence, and eventually they come to something of a peaceful truce.

Then Barty has a euphoric-manic episode and gets really hurt. Like, really, really hurt. Evan and Regulus are at a complete loss, and it takes James longer than he’d like to admit to put the pieces together.

When Barty is finally released, he’s spiralling really badly, but he was raised in a way that makes telling someone he needs help impossible. So James steps up. He tells him what’s happening to him, what the episodes are, how to navigate them as best as possible, offers Barty support he’s never had before and lets him know that he’s there for him, that James understands what’s happening to him. That he cares.

It’s not Barty who reaches out first, though. It’s James. It’s been months since Barty’s manic episode when James has a depressive one. Through the fog and the weight across his entire body, he somehow musters the strength to call the one person in his life that he may not like, but who knows.

It’s awkward at first. Barty and James don’t like each other, but they know each other on a level their other friends can’t. So despite Barty wanting to do literally anything else, he stays. He tries. He learns.

Barty stays glued to James for three days until a bit of the fog recedes and he can lift his head on his own again. It takes another week or so for James to really start functioning again, and another two afterwards until he’s back to baseline. Barty doesn’t tell anyone, but he pays a student in James’ year on the low to get his class notes and homework assignments, and he does every single one of them so James doesn’t need to worry about trying to catch up on almost a month of missed work. He’s not really sure what exactly compelled him to do it, but he feels like it was the right thing to do.

James does the same thing for Barty during his first major depressive episode.

They make a pact of sorts, every morning when the potions vials show up by their breakfast plates, they make eye contact across the Great Hall, lift their potions up, tap the bottoms on the table, and shoot it back like a party shot. It’s a routine that helps them ground each other. It’s something that makes them feel anchored and in the moment. If they can laugh at each other’s faces from the vile tasting potions, they can face whatever the day might bring.

When they’ve all graduated, Evan and Barty find a place not far from Regulus and James’. It’s not an uncommon occurrence for Evan or Regulus to find James and Barty curled up together on Bad Days, or to find them laughing somewhat maniacally as they beat the piss out of each other wrestling and sparring on days that are Too Much.

It takes a long time before Barty really understands that James is there for him. Two years after his diagnosis is when he has his worst episode yet. It comes on with very little warning and Barty knows it’s bad and knows he needs help but he can’t physically get himself to call for it. All he knows is one minute he was in bed with Evan sleeping next to him and the next he’s on a seaside cliff face and he’s terrified of what his brain is doing to him. He doesn’t remember actually calling for James, but he does remember being wrapped in familiar arms and having a jumper shoved on him. He remembers being on the Potter-Black sofa and remembers James holding a tea cup to his lips because his hands were shaking so violently he couldn’t hold it on his own. He remembers James talking, but he couldn’t understand the words.

He remembers the moment that he finally understood that someone had come for him when he needed them, and they hadn’t left him alone.

He remembers the way that when it finally clicked into place, when he realised that he truly had a Person, that it got just a little bit easier to keep breathing.

If you had told James Potter and Barty Crouch Jr that they would become not only friends, but something deeper than that, back in school, they both would have laughed themselves silly. But now? They are each others Person and that’s a bond that the world ending couldn’t even break.

#queer platonic DarkSun #barty crouch jr #barty crouch junior #james potter #james potter has ​borderline personality disorder #james potter has bipolar disorder #barty crouch jr has bipolar disorder #DarkSun but make it mental illness support system #they’re just so special to me

[shattersstar]

hey y’all..

i was hoping to god id never have to make a post like this again but, since my life is falling apart here goes..

im a interracial gnc lesbian who is so broke right now despite trying to find a job since sept, i just haven’t been able to :/ my mom is my only financial support really and can’t do much as she’s dealing with legal stuff and in the process of moving. between rising living expenses, owning a pet, trying to start the bpd diagnosis process, being in uni, and getting threatened with eviction at the start of every month (on top of other issues with my current home)….im beyond worn and i need help.

my p@ypal is linked here

im open to take commissions for my writing, fiction or not, and can discuss details over message or email. it’s the most i can offer in return, and i stg i’ll throw most of my writing morals out for these commissions to stop going hungry.

any amount helps and please share/boost if u can!! thank u so so much!!! <333

my p@ypal is linked here

#im so sorry to b doing this again #especially with the state of the world but im just drowning here #mac rambles #please reblog

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hey, I'm wondering (once again) if I have autism. My (very bad) therapist I've had two years ago said that I have Asperger's but other than depression I've never got a diagnosis.

I thought for several years that I might have BPD. I do experience self destructive behaviour which usually gets really bad when I'm in a relationship. I describe it like that: When I'm in a phase where I'm alone (no friends, no partner), I don't feel necessarily great but I like the stability of it. Relationships on the other hand are unstable, they mess up my emotions, my sense of self, my focus in life. As I said, I thought that might be a BPD thing but could it be an autistic trait as well? The need for a routine, being prepared? When I was in a relationship, I would have some sort of breakdown whenever he didn't want to meet up. After a few days I got used to not meeting up and then it was fine again.

I also stop speaking sometimes. When we started fighting, I would stay silent and my head was blank until one sentence slowly formed. It always takes me quite a while to finally say the sentence then. I thought that was me dissociating but I found out about shutdowns today so how do I tell those two apart?

I stim, I struggle with making friends, caring about them. I don't know how to react to sarcasm or when someone is jokingly annoying me. My voice and face are very expressive tho

So I know that you can't diagnose me and that's definitely not why I write this ask. I guess I'm just hoping for another perspective or tips, resources?

Hi there,

There’s a good source thays called “Neurodivergent Insights that talks about the co-occurring conditions, like BPD like you mentioned. Here’s a helpful Venn diagram showing the similarities and differences between two:

Here’s is an excerpt from the article:

Borderline Personality Disorder is a common misdiagnosis for Autistic women and genderqueer people. Complicating matters, BPD and Autism also co-occur at high rates, and an Autistic person is more vulnerable to developing BPD. So a person may have both Autism and BPD. When the underlying Autism is missed, BPD symptoms are likely exacerbated.

Unfortunately, many clinicians are not considering Autism when assessing for BPD. It is important that Autism always be on the rule-out or differential list when assessing for BPD. This is particularly important given that an Autistic neurotype makes a person more vulnerable to developing BPD.

I hope this answers your question. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

#inbox #inbox reply #inbox is open

[xbeezchaos]

Bpd! Scara x Reader pt.6

When you remind him that you have other friends

Please keep in mind I don’t condone self diagnosis, misdiagnosis, romanticization of mental illnesses including the one I’m writing about. I’m simply projecting my own experiences and thoughts onto a fictional character for y’all to enjoy. Readers gender neutral as always unless I’m filling a request.

You had been chatting with Scara about some things, no real set topic just loosely going from topic to topic as you’d both normally do in your free pass time with each other.

You showed him something on Instagram that he didn’t quite understand. So he laughed about it awkwardly before shooting a quick response.

“Well, i know nothing about that so it can’t be related to me.” He said this in hopes to clarify that he didn’t understand and gain an explanation. To him it seemed like a ‘This is so you’ thing but it really didn’t make sense to him so he was now lost. As he sat there awaiting your response. You looked at him almost as confused as him with a small smile.

“Scara, you know I have other friends, right?” You laugh at him and don’t take notice to the switch in moods for him. To him this was much bigger than it should’ve been. He knew with everything rational in him that you misunderstood what he meant, and that you didn’t mean to hurt him.

But his emotions couldn’t process that. So he tried brushing it off to quickly push down his emotions that were now beginning to bubble underneath his skin like an unruly raging bonfire. He waved it off towards you and just played along. Not pushing any further on what he was trying to ask and just moving on. But even as you kept talking. And things got quiet he couldn’t help his train of though traveling back to earlier, and what you said.

“Scara, you know I have other friends, right?” Replayed in his mind, a deafening, endless loop. Each time it repeated it slowly started to change. The words moving around to what his emotions heard and could grasp from what you had said.

And soon the loop would just start going to:“I have other friends.”

And once he hit that point he couldn’t stop the spiral that hit him like a truck. The “What if” questions started coming out.

He started to become visibly distressed and you took notice, trying to figure out what could’ve possibly caused such a mood change in him.

“Scara? Hun are you okay?”

“No, what if you don’t need me, and I’m not good enough? You have other friends which means I’m just a temporary person in your life cause there has to be someone better than me that you want to spend your time with and I’m not that person!”

At this point hee stood up and started pacing, walking in circles around the couch and yelling while taking moments to stop and look at you. Then he paused again when he reached your spot on the couch and looked at you, his face riddled with anxiety, frustration and what looked to be tears pricking at his eyes now.

You sat silently, unsure of what to do since you weren’t sure how he’d respond. But none the less you reached your arms out, holding them open for him to take with a sincere look on your face.

“Do you want a hug? I know it’s not much but you might just need one.” He stared at your out stretched hands, the frustration on his face becoming more evident for a moment before he took a deep breath and took his place in your arms. He hugged you tightly, and you returned it. You gave him a big squeeze and you could feel his body tense then relax under your touch. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, you could feel him begin to shake, and soft sobs came from him as his head lay in your shoulder where you couldn’t see him. After a few minutes he sat back up to face you, he took a big deep breath and started at you with frustrated, tear stained eyes that smudged makeup and eyeliner on his face.

You could only imagine the damage that did to your shirt, but at the moment it was the least of your worries. Your emotional friend was top of the worry list and trying to understand why he was upset and joe to help fix it was really bugging you.

“I want to be the best person you know. If I can be pushed aside then what’s the point of my existence here?” His voice sounded almost defeated, but he had an underlying feeling of anger. In his mind, if he can be replaced he should leave before it can happen.

“Scara, you are one of the best people I know. You’re literally my best friend. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings by what I said. It was only a misunderstanding, ok?” You give him a sincere smile and brush the hair out of his face, and wipe at some of the smudged makeup on his face.

He nods, sitting up fully and pulling away from your arms.

“It was a miscommunication, right. My feelings were hurt cause of it, which is ok. And now that it’s sorted out I feel better..”

You watch as he explains his feelings to himself, he was staring at his hands while he did so. You’d recently learned this was a part of his new therapy skills in the works. So he’d often talk to himself or write down how he’s feeling after conflict of any kind to practice it. You found it strange but knew he needed to do it until he could do it automatically.

“You stupid bitch!” He picked up a couch cushion and hurled it at you as quickly and as hard as he could. You fell back with a yelp and put your arms out to defend yourself as he continuously went in with the same cushion, hitting you and laughing while he did so.

“Shut up, twink. That’s why your Make-ups ruined!!” You yelled in between hits. When he calmed down he opened his phone and checked his makeup, to which he gasped and hit you with the cushion again before rushing to go fix it.

#writing #genshin impact #oneshots #fluff #reader insert #fanfic #diluc ragnvindr #scaramouche #scara x y/n #scaramouche x reader #scaranation #bpd #bpd scaramouche

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INFJ. I experienced childhood trauma (verbal, emotional, physical, sexual) and have a lot of difficulty with learning due to issues with concentration and memory. I also have issues with emotional dysregulation and poor sleep. I've received C-PTSD as a diagnosis, with BPD traits (I think something in the ballpark of BPD may run in my family).

During conversations I'm often only really attending to 10-50% of what is said but can usually interpolate due to redundancy. However, during technical lectures or other situations with much lower redundancy, I'm totally lost. I believe this is one factor preventing me from achieving my full potential. In my current state I'm still capable of making a good living and living a comfortable life, but I know there is far more I can achieve.

In the near term I plan to focus on Fe/Ti - emotional intelligence, social skills, and also developing Ti expertise in a specific topic aligned with my Ni vision via the right set of Fe commitments and collaborations - while sidestepping the poor concentration issue for now. I can see that sufficient prior expertise (Ti) on a conversation/lecture topic also helps to compensate for the concentration issues. You gave me similar advice (let Ti do the heavy lifting) a couple years ago.

However, in the long run, if I really want to achieve my full potential, I can see that I'll need to directly address my concentration difficulties and other ways in which I believe trauma has stalled Se development.

Do you have any thoughts on how to restore my ability to be present and learn more effectively? As of now, as part of my general healing process, I'm focusing on building healthy interpersonal relationships (likely just platonic in the near future, in part because I'm not sure if I'm currently capable of having sex), emotional regulation, learning how to drive (which I've avoided due to my poor concentration, but maybe I'll be forced to improve out of necessity), and martial arts.

I may also undergo physical therapy to be able to get a Pap smear done (as of now it's seemingly not possible due to anxiety). I also believe that the memories of the worst trauma are repressed, and am considering psychedelics and EMDR to uncover and process these memories, which perhaps could be necessary to fully heal and address my concentration and memory issues.

I've had very poor experiences with psychiatry and clinical psychology (misdiagnosis, gaslighting, fraud, and shocking levels of incompetence) so am not super eager to engage with that system again, though I'm reading the DBT manual currently and also deriving my own personal principles for emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness (the latter I find to be easier, likely due to my Se issues).

I know you're likely going to say that I should consult a mental health professional, but I respect your judgment way more than any of the ones I've worked with. Also, an implicit assumption I'm making here is essentially equating focus/concentration/memory with Se, which may be inaccurate. Finally, I can't thank you enough for this blog. It's been lifechanging, to say the least.

Also, another assumption here is that trauma is the cause of the concentration and memory issues - that's my current hypothesis but I could certainly be wrong. My mom (who I think also has BPD traits) frequently complains about her difficulty concentrating. It's possible she also experienced trauma, or maybe it's genetic. No one has been willing to diagnose me with ADHD due to no evidence of learning issues in childhood. BPD dissociation could ultimately be the best explanation.

---------------------

Poor concentration is a lot like a sore throat, in that it can be a symptom of a great many things. By itself, it doesn't tell you a lot. The underlying cause could be relatively simple like poor physical health, or it could be a psychological issue like C-PTSD, or it could be a very complicated combination of factors working together, each needing their own solution. Let's unpack:

1) Physical Health: Brain functioning is heavily dependent upon physical health. Without a healthy body to support the brain, you won't possess enough energy and will to perform the executive function tasks you need for self-management and self-improvement. You mentioned poor sleep. A well-rested mind is essential for good concentration and quality sleep is essential for efficient memory consolidation.

Your brain is a physical object that requires physical care and maintenance. Without a nutritious diet, quality sleep, adequate exercise and blood flow, and proper stress/illness management, brain operation suffers. Therefore, improving mental health should always begin with improving your physical habits, establishing healthy physical routines, and maintaining work-life balance. Improving physical health also goes a long way to improving emotional regulation.

2) Mental Health: Yes, trauma can interfere with focus and memory operations, but this doesn't mean it's the cause, so I wouldn't be so quick to jump to that conclusion. Focus and memory issues aside, it is generally important to your well-being to be mentally healthy, so you need to address your mental health issues in a timely manner.

You mention three issues: C-PTSD due to a history of abuse, BPD traits, and emotional dysregulation. It's often the case that these three things are interrelated, but it's important to know for sure by getting properly checked out by a mental health professional.

There is a good chance that DBT will be an effective treatment for these three issues because it teaches you how to manage emotions better. But I suggest that you work with a DBT specialist rather than go it alone. The presence of BPD traits makes it likely that you have difficulty being objective about yourself, so going it alone could inadvertently lead you straight into Ti loop if you're not careful (assuming you're not already there). Due to the necessity of Fe development, it is vital that you have an objective person to reflect important truths back to you.

Every profession has its fair share of duds and bad apples. Not everyone graduates with honors, after all. I understand that you've had negative experiences with professionals and I can only reiterate that it's important to keep shopping around until you find the right fit. Being much more specific about the problem/issue you want to address can help you narrow down the search.

3) Learning and Improvement: You are drawn to my blog and its ideas about type development. While lack of presence may be an indication of Se misuse, the solution isn't as simple as developing Se. You're not anywhere near ready to develop the inferior function, and fixating on it is likely to be harmful.

In INFJs, lack of presence isn't directly caused by Se. It's more likely to be related to maladaptive Fe. When INFJs aren't able to handle the intense feelings and emotions that Fe opens them up to, they tend to develop a habit of detaching from the world and retreating into their own self-created world through Ni-Ti loop. Detachment means you separate yourself from reality, and lack of presence is one common symptom of that.

You can't be fully present and learn well when you're not learning for the sake of learning but rather treat learning merely as a means to some other, more unconscious end. When there's a lot happening in the unconscious, especially if you have a long running habit of repressing feelings and emotions, you're being driven by dark forces. If this is true for you, your real potential isn't to be found in learning or "intelligence" but rather in honesty and becoming more self-aware, i.e., facing up to the things that haunt you, which goes back to point #2 about getting proper therapy to address your trauma.

You seem very motivated to improve yourself and your life, which is generally a good thing. However, this motivation should be closely examined in INFJs because they often suffer from perfectionism and use "self-improvement" to feed unhealthy control issues. In other words, their motives can be suspect. You say you're not living up to your "full" potential, e.g., you should be able to focus better, be more present, remember more, perform better, etc, but is this really true? Says who? Who is the one defining this notion of "potential"? What are you really aiming for and why? What does "full" mean, i.e., at what point does it end?

At some point, if you ever hope to be at peace, you have to accept the reality of your limitations and be content in who you are, as is. Are you happy with yourself and who you are? Is your quest for self-improvement motivated by love of yourself, love of life, and love of others? Or is it fueled by ego, illusion, insecurity, guilt, shame, or self-loathing? It is very important to answer these questions honestly. Attempting self-improvement with unconscious intentions can lead to undesirable consequences. It sounds like you're trying to do way too much at once, which is usually a warning sign. Biting off more than you can chew is a very good way to choke.

Your thinking is messy and confused. You've taken the above three points and mashed them together. Despite what you believe about them being related, they are distinct issues that each need proper attention. I've separated them out for you and numbered them in order of importance. Slow down, prioritize the issues in the right order, and take things one SMALL step at a time.

#infj #ti loop #focus #concentration #presence #memory #learning #trauma #mental health #ask

[stackslip]

Thank you so much for your BPD post. I've had people judge me irl for going from openly identifying as bisexual specifically to IDing as Lesbian (with a secret Bi- for Cool People)/Queer/It's Complicated. And while some of that is genuine shift in my identity, a lot is about seeking medical diagnosis rn and being scared of a BPD diagnosis and I can't explain that to people BC I'm worried they'll take that as manipulative, too. Seeing people talk about how it's genuinely dangerous and how bisexuality is such a factor in the diagnosis is really fucking validating.

i rarely see people talking about the biphobic aspect to how bpd gets diagnosed—one of the main diagnosis criteria is about "disordered/unhealthy sexual behaviors", which immediately pathologises bisexuality and any kind of non-normative sexual behaviour from non-monogamy to having kinks to just enjoying having sex with strangers (and again if you're bi this is included in the non-normative, disordered behaviour). i remember reading how bi/pan women tend to have higher bpd diagnosis rates than heterosexual women and even lesbians bc of the whole "oh you're bi you cant choose a side so i diagnose you with manipulative slut disorder" and i mean i experienced it myself, with a doctor trying to diagnose me despite not even fitting *any other criteria at the time* except that my anger at the abuse i saw in psych ward counted as a "manipulative ourburst" i guess and me being perceived as a bi woman sealed the deal lol. so i feel you entirely, as an nb dyke myself

as a whole id argue that bpd and most psychiatric diagnosises are only as useful as far as they provide you with a community who might share similar issues and in rare cases, being able to support each other. certainly i know friends who are antipsych but id with bpd in terms of being able to better understand specific symptoms of trauma and find tactics to handle said symptoms better, as well as support others with similar delibitating symptoms. but this is what a shared community does that can be good—the truth is, bod and most personality disorder diagnosis are not just fundamentally flawed but used to deny any kind of care or help to already traumatized and depressed people. ive heard cases of "misdiagnosis" of bpd, but id argue any official psychiatric diagnosis is a danger bc it puts a target on you and marks you indefinitely. you could fit the bpd criteria to a T and I'd still argue that a diagnosis is a danger and can actively impede your access to care, and be used as ammo against you by doctors, healthcare providers, family and even random acquaintances because frankly, no matter how nice an individual doctor is, most doctors treat a personality disorder diagnosis as a way to say "this person's shitty and hard to deal with and should be kept away from healthy society" and it's also how it's used by 90% of people (whether in healthcare or otherwise) who love to have a way to distance themselves from Irrevocably Broken People and put any instance of abuse or poor behaviour on them. there's a much wider argument to be had about the harm of psychiatry as a whole, but i have this particular issue at heart. i know so many traumatized and abused people whove been retraumatized and frankly destroyed by being marked with this kind of diagnosis, whose abuse has been justified by their peers bc they have the Broken Slut Disorder or the Has No Feelings Disorder or the Selfish Cunt Disorder. which are all apparently Real and Important medical tool that serve an important function and should never be criticized lol

#antipsych #eli talks

[drdemonprince]

do people with bpd actually want to change their behavior? every person with bpd I've known, regardless how much personal or professional education they have with bpd, have gone the same 'favorite person' route where they lovebomb and then lash out when it isn't reciprocated exactly how they want. they wield the diagnosis like a reclaimed slur and then shrug like it's out of their control -- is the diagnosis even useful if they're not seeking help to adjust these reactions? thx

kind of an interesting combination of questions you have here. First you ask if anyone with this label ascribed to them actually wants to change their behavior -- the answer, obviously, is yes, because we are talking about millions of people including myself and many other neurodivergent people who are very outspoken about wanting to learn more effective patterns of attachment.

But I suppose you already know in the most literal sense that there are BPD labeled people who don't want to be abusive or manipulative. Like, that's obvious right. you'd have to actually believe we are all boogeyman level evil to think otherwise. If you think there are categorically evil types of people who exist out in the world, and that those people just so happen to coincidentally be the people who are denied legal autonomy and personhood on a systemic level, well, you have a lot of deeper thinking to do probably that i hope you get started on soon.

But I will assume you're a reasonable person and understand that of course out of millions of human beings there must be some who have been labeled BPD who do possess the fundamental human capacity for learning new things. And what you must really be asking is if there is any hope for someone with that identifier. Again, yes. Lots of us come a pretty long way. Also the inventor of DBT Marsha Linehan has BPD so that's a pretty obvious counter example.

Interestingly, you also ask what the point is in creating a label that comes with no proven treatment and no recommended course of action -- now that is a good question that I think we all ought to consider. The same might be asked of Autism. Or NPD. Or any personality disorder. None of those have evidence based treatments.

Why do we label people with disorders we have no treatments for, and which therapists are actively trained to view as incurable? I'll let you reflect on why that might be the case. Sure doesn't seem useful or helpful to the person *with* the label put on them, does it? Who benefits from thinking some people are just *bad* ? What purpose does such a belief serve.

Of course, if you are familiar with my work and have reflected much upon it, you know I think all these labels are pretty fundamentally useless and oppressive, except as solidarity-building tools.

Some recommended reading for you:

[rweoutofthewoods]

hey there, sorry to bother you. i just finished reading ppp and you said in a chapter’s notes that you have bpd yourself, and you wrote james’s experiences based on yours. i just wanted to ask, and you really don’t have to answer if you don’t want to — how much does james’s character relate to real life? like, how much does it relate to a real life person? (i don’t know if i got the message across)

i got told by a doctor that i display bpd symptoms myself, but this was several years ago and eventually the diagnosis turned out to be something else. after i realised i relate to james’s character a little too much, i started to wonder if maybe that doctor those years ago was on to something. so, this is my first step i guess.

thank you for what you wrote, anyway.

Hi!! So sorry if I’m misunderstanding but I think what you’re asking is how accurate is James’ character as a portrayal of a real life someone with BPD?

Yes I do indeed have BPD, ppp James touches on a lot of the experience BUT it’s not perfect. The main aspect of BPD I kind of focused on is something that I have heard a lot of other people describe too. The feeling of emptiness and like there’s just some black pit inside of you, trying to consume you. That’s just one aspect, and my biggest regret in writing pathological people pleaser is that I didn’t capture some of the obsessive and relationship aspects. That’s why I really want to write more BPD James actually, because I want to represent the like hyper awareness in every relationship that happens. I want to write a scene where reg texts James back weirdly or says something and James thinks his tone is a little off and he just spirals and loses his mind only to come to later and be like… oops that was a little dramatic wtf.

There’s also a lot of other experiences like the impulsivity that I touched on a bit but not quite enough. Like the way you can convince yourself during an episode that your narrative is 100% correct and your feelings are how you’ll always feel only to snap out of and be like damn what the fuck was I thinking 😭 (usually AFTER doing something stupid and impulsive). BPD really does not stop until ur in treatment and working hard, and I don’t think people quite understand it unless you’ve lived it. EVEN I have made decisions IN FANDOM (😭) like impulsively taking all my fics down during an episode and after, I did have people be like yo what was that?? and the truth is you have no proper explanation because during the time it 10000% feels like this is what I NEED to do. This is the right decision I’ll never feel okay again or change my mind. Then oops, the episode ends and you’re like haha WHAT WAS THAT 😀

So I hope that helps paint a picture of what BPD is actually like and some of the gaps James’ character does have in properly representing BPD. It is only my own experience of it, and I’m not really the violent aggressive kind of BPD, it usually turns inwards (aside from some pretty awful road rage, ngl that’s when the anger episodes rlly comes out and that’s EMBARRASSING) so it is very influenced by my own lived experiences and I can’t speak on how anyone else experiences BPD. If you’re wondering about yourself I implore you to talk to a medical professional!! Even if you don’t have it, it doesn’t hurt to find out for sure. Wishing you luck and lots of love 🫶

#mere answering things ;) #fic: pathological people pleaser

[detentiontrack]

your symptoms seem to match up more with schizophrenia and bpd then with bipolar

Babe. Ily and I know this was most likely sent just because you’re trying to help, but with all the kindness in my heart I need to tell you that you are not my doctor. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar 4 separate times. I’ve been screened for BPD and schizophrenia many times. I don’t have them. My symptoms don’t match up with the diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia or BPD. And it’s kind of harmful to try to diagnose someone on the internet, and it can be DANGEROUS to tell someone that their diagnosis is wrong without being a professional or close to said person. Again, I really appreciate the thought put into this, but I can assure you that my diagnosis is correct and I have it covered.

#I wish I had the same confidence that the anons I’ve been getting recently have #asks #anon

[gojurt]

its ironic that once i mostly got over the idea of self diagnosing myself with a personality disorder i got professionally diagnosed with it when i was trying to get diagnosed with adhd and dont really want the label anymore. dont get me wrong the symptoms that are described by personality disorder categories ARE real and well i certainly have them and i definitely do fit most of the criteria for bpd and need help for it despite my strong opinions about the dsm (and i dont hold any animosity towards people who do self dx with personality disorders or find comfort in a diagnosis because i like get it lol), but i do not believe that personality disorder diagnoses always have the best intentions for the patient and i know that they are built upon medical biases (often gendered) and that we need to seriously reconsider the way that diagnoses and treatment are structured. and getting diagnosed with bpd to me felt weird when the psychiatrist was openly dismissing my obvious adhd and autism symptoms that other psychiatrists and therapists have pointed out in the past, an inconsistency that has once again reminded me that a good amount of this shit is a complete joke

#sorry for personality disorder posting again im constantly frustrated by the psychiatric system

[honeysuckle-venom]

I'd be interested to hear how you found DBT harmful, if you'd like to talk about it....?

I remember all the mindfulness experiences and the ACCEPTS acronym feeling really frustrating + difficult + antagonistic, but for me at the time, learning about trauma therapy and actual physiological coping skills were overall helpful enough that I kept doing it

(Not trying to talk over your experience of it being *not* helpful for you! Just sharing what my experience was :)

Hi Anni! Thank you so much for this excellent question, I'm excited to answer this! I'm glad you mostly had a positive experience with DBT! To be fair, there are some elements of it that did help me, but overall and in the long term I think the effect for me was primarily negative. Some of that also has to do with how I was taught/the therapists involved and not exclusively the philosophy or therapy itself, but some of it is the philosophy/therapy itself. My answer is going to get very long, so I'm putting it below the cut.

Some background: When I was 15, I had a severe psychotic break/my schizophrenia fully manifested. Because it wasn't a super typical presentation (no prodromal phase, I didn't hear voices, most of my initial symptoms were disorganized and catatonic) no one really caught what it was. Instead it was just treated as a "nervous breakdown" due to stress at home/school and severe anxiety and depression. Because I was a teenage girl and engaging in self harming behaviors and expressing suicidality, borderline was also considered/something my mom's psychiatrist thought I had (this was 2012 and BPD was a popular diagnosis at the time).

I had already been in talk therapy for several years at that point, and my parents basically figured "well clearly that's not working bc look how badly she's doing." (Which was incorrect but that's a topic for a different post.) So they looked for other options, and found DBT. I started seeing a psychiatrist who specialized in DBT, and we also joined a group family therapy DBT program in which a few families learn DBT skills together and do a little bit of family therapy with them, which...bizarre structure to have multiple families in one room in therapy but okay. My initial reaction was "I hate this" but it wasn't that big a deal. I filled out diary cards, I learned about dialectics (a concept I actually kind of liked initially), I tried and failed to practice radical acceptance, I practiced using DEAR MAN to express myself in family group, etc. It wasn't really helping me much, but it wasn't hurting much either. I did like some of the distress tolerance skills. I did not like family issues being aired out in front of strangers. I found the mindfulness skills and breathing exercises quite difficult and sometimes triggering re: dissociation, but then I just kind of stopped doing those so much. It was overall a neutral experience. It was something I learned about a few times a week and at home I sometimes did distress tolerance skills and filled out my diary cards, but besides that I wasn't like...super in the DBT Lifestyle TM.

I slowly started to do better (not bc of the DBT) and eventually when I was 16 I went back to school. But I wasn't stable enough to handle it and after about a month and a half I became so unwell I had to be hospitalized again. First I did 3 weeks at a standard (though abusive) teen inpatient unit. After that I wasn't well enough to go home, and my parents got my rich aunt and uncle to help pay for me to go to a very expensive teen month long DBT intensive partial hospitalization program (basically inpatient with slightly fewer restrictions) at a place called Silver Hill. At Silver Hill I ate, breathed, and slept DBT. It was constant. The whole program is about really internalizing DBT stuff and just constantly using the skills.

That program was not good for me, on a number of levels. There were four main problems with it. The first was that the program placed a lot of emphasis on interpersonal relationships, which meant getting along with the other kids there. I was not very good at that, and in fact one time the psychiatrist spoke to me privately to tell me that I was "too weird" and it bothered the other kids. Like...sorry??? Whenever I messed up socially, I would have to fill out these worksheets with what I did/said wrong, what the response was, and what I should do differently next time. This was very bad for my self esteem and also wasn't the fucking point? I was there bc I wanted to kill myself not bc I'm awkward. It would have been one thing if I had been intentionally saying offensive things or something, but I was just made to do these whenever I was too strange, which...sucked. Very reminiscent of abusive autism treatment tbh. That's more on the specific people at this program than on DBT as a practice, but it did influence my view of DBT.

The next problem was the core dialectic that they always introduce you to: "I am doing the best I can, and I can do better" (also, and even more damagingly, phrased as "I am doing the best I can and I need to do better/try harder"). I heard this phrase dozens and dozens of times over the course of that month, and it was really damaging to me. I understand what it's saying, I understand what it's getting at, I don't need someone to explain how dialectics work to me. But I was 16 and drowning and had been pushing myself my whole life, and that phrase implies that what you are doing is NEVER enough. You can always be doing better. Even if you're doing your absolute best, you need to try harder. That mindset was so toxic and dangerous for me at that time, and it really hurt me. I had been abused, I had never felt good enough, I had always tried desperately to do my best in impossible situations, and now I was being told my best would never be enough, there was never a point I could reach where I could rest. "No matter how hard you work you have to work harder" is what that sounded like to 16 year old me. That was really bad for me.

The third problem was that I was doing DBT and DBT only. There was no trauma therapy. I wasn't doing it in conjunction with trauma work, I was just doing DBT. Everything was focused on specific immediate behaviors. There was very little room to talk about how past experiences played a role/affected me, and indeed it often seemed as though the therapists thought I was just using those as excuses for why I wasn't properly applying DBT skills. Over my month there I did learn and internalize some useful coping skills that helped me to, for example, avoid immediately going to self harm. But that should be the first step. It shouldn't be treated like that's the end of the road, once you've stopped the Bad Behaviors you're Cured. Sure, this was a specific inpatient program, and in depth trauma work wasn't the point. But they didn't even act like you should EVER do that kind of work/like when you left you should look into examining the deeper issues while continuing to apply skills. Everything was skill based, and so there was no actual chance to recover from anything on a deeper level. I could stop hurting myself but DBT was never going to teach me how to stop hurting. All behavioral therapies, imo, only address the surface level (behaviors and sometimes thoughts). In order to truly recover I needed to go much deeper than that.

Finally, although DBT is a potential treatment for schizophrenia according to the internet, I found it interacted with my schizophrenia in some negative ways. The core of DBT is dialectics, accepting that two (often seemingly contradictory) things can be true at the same time. I never had a problem with that, and did not need DBT to teach me that. I've never struggled much with black and white thinking. In fact, I had something of the opposite problem. At the core of my psychosis is a struggle with boundaries, particularly between the self and other and between fantasy and reality. My mom, with whom I was deeply enmeshed, lied and exaggerated frequently throughout my childhood, often about inconsequential things. I learned very early on how to hold multiple "true" views of reality; I had to, to survive in my household. It was kind of like doublethink, if you've read 1984? Here's the quote from 1984 about it: "To know and not to know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them, to use logic against logic, [....] to forget whatever it was necessary to forget, then to draw it back into memory again at the moment when it was needed, and then promptly to forget it again, and above all, to apply the same process to the process itself—that was the ultimate subtlety: consciously to induce unconsciousness, and then, once again, to become unconscious of the act of hypnosis you had just performed. Even to understand the word—doublethink—involved the use of doublethink." That's what my childhood felt like. I think elements of that are inherent to DID actually. Dissociation and psychosis worked together to make me excel at doublethink growing up.

And then I was told that the way to cure myself of my mental illness was to...do that exact thing? Hold multiple conflicting truths at the same time? Okay! I knew how to do that! But for me that wasn't a radical new way to view the world and avoid black and white thinking, it was a reinforcement of an unhealthy blurring of boundaries and lack of confidence in reality. A much, much more important thing for me in my recovery was slowly learning to actually trust my own thoughts and my own version of the truth over what someone else told me, to learn to have boundaries and a more stable sense of self and to trust my own memories and internal truths. Although DBT isn't meant to confuse people or blur their boundaries or make them struggle with the truth, because I came into it already in that place with a lifetime of gaslighting and dissociation and psychosis (and because I wasn't aware of my dissociation or psychosis enough to keep them in mind while doing this), dialectics were actually ultimately the opposite of helpful for me most of the time.

So yeah! Those are the big reasons why I don't like DBT. Also I find all the acronyms annoying lol. But really it just wasn't the right treatment for me and my situation, especially at the time.

#answers #about me #this was so fun and interesting to answer #dbt my beloathed #psychodynamic talk therapy my beloved <3

[rath00ker]

Twisted Wonderland mento illness headcanons please kind sir 🙏

I way I left ibis paint so fast- YES. I’m gonna run down my personal hcs for what mental illness I think twst characters have and a bit of a reasoning why! (Also some autism hc because autism cause why not and also just so you know and as a comment pointed out neurodivergent conditions aren’t mental illness)

Warnings: Talk of Mental illness, eating disorders

I must note now at the beginning that I am just a 16 year old don’t come to me for any actual mental illness diagnosis or advice I am not a licensed therapist nor do I claim to be one. I just have a strong interest for psychology and took a few high school courses on psychology.

If you or a loved on have any suspicions they might have a mental illness (if you are able) I would recommend going to a licensed psychiatrist

Now with that warning out the way let’s get into it‼️

I feel like Riddle has BPD (borderline personality disorder) and PTSD. I don’t have a strong reason for why I think he has BPD he just has the vibes ya know? PTSD because of his mother. A lot of people don’t talk about it but you can get PTSD from abusive parents (if you try to say Riddles mom wasn’t abusive I’m gonna reach through the screen and beat the shit out of you).

Cater has HPD (Historic personality disorder), he’s very attention seeking online and I feel like he can be really dramatic then get over it really fast like nothing happened (me fr). He was that kid that was scared all his friends thought he was annoying and would do anything they asked. Also he’s hypersexual cause I said so

Ace has ADHD and Deuce has Autism. Epic rap battles of history ADHD vs Autism.

Leona has depression, it’s pretty clear from his characterization that he has depression. With his lack of motivation and over sleeping being some of them

Ruggie definitely has an eating disorder. No one talks about his eating habits like they do Azuls but I feel like he has binge eating disorder because of his troubled past with food. Like when he has food he will eat himself til he throws up if no one stops him because of an internalized fear of there not always being food to eat so he’ll eat as much as he can. (This might just be me self projecting ngl because me and Ruggie have a similar past)

Jack just has autism. Notably he hates wool textures and would have crying fits of his mom tried to make him wear them

Azul already has an eating disorder it’s clear from his relationship with eating and the fact he was bullied for his weight. I’m not sure what kind he would fall under but he definitely has one. I also hc him to have Autism

Jade also has Autism but he has low empathy also.

Floyd has cluster B personality disorder written all over him Idc what you say. I think he has BPD personally but that also might be self projection again. He has ADHD and like his brother also has low empathy as well

I hc that Jamil has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorders) but just keeps all of his personal thoughts to himself so no one else knows.

I feel like Vil also NPD funny enough because it makes a lot of sense with his character. He checks most of the boxes anyways

Rook is smt else. I can’t understand him

Epel has anger issues but he’s actively getting help.

Idia has social anxiety that’s pretty clear also Autism because I can definitely see him going on super long rants to Azul about his favorite anime at the time. I believe I mentioned it before but I think he takes Anixety medication for his social anxiety

Malleus has BPD also because imma be honest with you Overbloting because your best friend and dad are leaving you because your scared of the time you have left with them so you put everyone in a dream is a very BPD thing to do. Also Autism because this man will take any chance he can to talk about Gargoyles and I love that for him. You go dragon boy

Author closing note: If you have any questions about my hcs then please be respectful in the comments and remember that no mental illness makes a person a bad person. Bad people are bad because they do bad things it’s not because they have a certain mental disorder. Also if a character wasn’t in here it’s because I have no hc for them or just don’t care about them enough to give them one. Last point a lot of these hcs are self projection, okay byyyeeee

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #cater diamond #ace trappola #deuce spade #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #floyd leech #jade leech #jamil viper #idia shroud #malleus draconia #heartslabyul #savanaclaw #octavinelle #scarabia #pomefiore #diasomnia #twst hcs #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #epel felmier