#OR if it wouldn’t work with billie’s other commitments

[soloorganaas]

look there are a bunch of actual logical reasons why fourteen is related to tentoo in some way but that’s not why I’m so certain we’re going to see rose again. no. the reason I’m so certain is because rtd is a crowd-pleasing slut who could never resist the emotional bombshell of dropping rose tyler right back into ten fourteen’s life dragging both him and the entire fan base back to doomsday and then sitting back grinning like a madman as he watches the chaos unfold

#doctor who #tenth doctor #fourteenth doctor #rose tyler #tenrose #I’m so correct about this #no other facts are more important than rtds love for fanservice and rose tyler specifically #the only reason I could think of him not writing in rose is bc of not wanting to dredge up a storyline that’s already closed #except that is literally what he’s doing with this entire story arc lmao #OR if it wouldn’t work with billie’s other commitments #bc I can’t imagine her just saying nah cba #meta

[kittyamore0]

Slashers find out their S/O has killed:

[Part 2]

A/n: IM SO UPSET BECAUSE I DONT HAVE MY REGULAR FONTS 😭 😔 A/n: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH A:n: I COULDVE JUST COPIED AND PASTED OFF THE INTERNET BUT IM TOO LAZY TO RE DO EVERYTHING 😖

CW: Murders, Sexual themes and GN! Reader.

Little note: I was going to add Lester and Bo to part 2 but I was busy while making this so I have to add them in part 3

Billy Lenz 🎄🎅📞

He’s more excited at the fact that you’re just like him, crazy!

He instantly got aroused 😃

Definitely stole some of your underwear’s (or bras) and returned them all sticky, and damp…

the way he found out was when you helped him kill Jess

”Jess, [Name], the caller is in the house,”

but you knew that

you’ve always known

so when Jess started panicking, you found it a good time to surprise her and Billy

It frightened you when she had a weapon, she could’ve killed your Billy!

So, you took the other fire poker

you stabbed Jess in the shoulder when she got dragged by Billy

I cackled when Billy yanked her hair through the stairs railing 💀

And before she could react, you slit her throat

“it’s okay, Billy,”

damn, you were always hot, but with blood on you? 😍

“[Name] saved filthy Billy…?”

you’re smart ass pinned it on Peters and he got arrested

you sneaking back to the sorority house to see Billy - 🏡 ⬅️ 🏃‍♀️💨

Tiffany Valentines 👰‍♀️❤️🧸

[this goes for her human body and doll body]

She honestly wouldn’t care, you kill, she kills, you’re even hotter when you kill.

wait, wha-

she finds it adorable and hot of you when you kill

will literally pull up a soft chair, some snacks and a face mask and sit there watching you take your anger out

“Go baby!”

”You got this, hun’!”

“They went that way!”

“Good job, woo!”

Very supportive

you were a killer when you met her

That’s how she fell in love with you!

“How many people have you killed?”

“34,”

“Hey, you know, you’re kinda cute…”

”I know,”

fell in love with you instantly.

Carrie White 🔥👩���🎓🩸

You never kept it a secret from her, but instead of telling her that it’s innocent people, you told her that it was people that use to mock and taunt you

she doesn’t think it’s okay, but because it’s you and because they were ‘awful’ people, she pushed it away

also doesn’t judge because she did kill people with her powers, but in her defense, she was so pissed

Also accepts you because you helped her run away from her abusive mom.

every time you come home from committing mass murder, she already sets up a bath and tries to cook

her mom didn’t care about her, so she’s only learning how to cook just now

hey, at least she’s trying 🥰

you end up cooking, but she repays you with nice cuddles after !

Jennifer Check ☆💉🩸

how you met was…interesting…

you always had a crush on her

and would always get pissed whenever some boy or girl hit on her

so when someone flirting with her actually kissed her cheek

you lost it.

let’s say that they didn’t have their happily ever after

when she found out, she became infatuated with you

a really devoted, smart, and pretty/handsome person? Sign her up

she definitely confessed first

like Tiff, she also doesn’t care

you kill anyone, she kills boys, no exception

and if you’re a boy, you’re an exception

will cheer you on as well

just more lazily than Tiff

After your killings, she’ll invite you to a lake

you obviously say yes, not thinking too much of it

until you see her naked in the murky waters

definitely pushes you in

mocks you for how flustered you get

yall definitely had a good time 😏

Vincent Sinclair 🕯️🔪🔥

Vinny just finished working and he was looking for you.

a bit worried when he couldn’t find you

then he heard footsteps, your foot steps.

don’t ask me how he knows your specific footsteps

and Jesus, you were a literal bloody mess

you had about 4 limp, lifeless victims

“Vin-ny!~”

you were awfully happy

blushed a little when you happily sung out the syllables to his nickname

pointed to the 4 bodies

“well, I’d thought I’d help you with work and it’s a thank you, for um, uh, everything…”

the silence was loud

really loud

but he nodded and huffed

making you plaster a grin on your face

he’s definitely blushing under hat mask

big bear hugs after work ! ❦

#billy lenz #slasher community #billy lenz x reader #black christmas #bride of chucky #childs play #tiffany valentine #carrie white #carrie 1976 #carrie white x reader #jennifer body #jennifer check #jennifer check x reader #chucky #house of wax #vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair x you

[ickypuppi3]

no no PLEASE elaborate on nasty steve

yes yes YES

cw // internalised homophobia, general assholeishness

steve refuses to actually kiss billy at first. because that’s gay. only he doesn’t say it as nice as that. and what he does say, he says to billy’s face. and billy doesn’t like that.

and steve doesn’t like that billy doesn’t like that.

see, billy knows he can be an asshole, too. knows he is an asshole to pretty much everyone around him most days. he’s not denying that.

but steve. steve can be downright mean. will come out with the most cutting shit during an argument. knows just how to hit someone where it hurts.

he can be a real manipulative bastard too, sometimes. without even meaning to. without even realising, it seems.

that or he just doesn’t care.

billy tries not to think too much into it.

steve doesn’t have a great filter when he’s pissed off. sometimes it’s actually worse than billy’s. he’ll say something. something mean and unnecessary. and billy won’t talk to him for the rest of the day.

he’ll say something to upset billy on purpose.

because that’s steve’s defence.

and billy will wake up at three in the morning to a drunk asshole climbing through his window. slipping into his bed. kissing billy in the dark. whispering a thousand i’m sorry, baby’s and i didn’t mean it’s.

and that would be nice.

if it wasn’t for the blanket of darkness steve uses to pretend it’s not billy he’s kissing. if steve didn’t act like it never happened the next day. if it wasn’t basically a routine with how often he did it.

and that’s A Thing for steve, billy’s found out. drinking. telling billy how much he means to him. telling billy how much he hates himself. falling asleep in billy’s lap after pressing salty kisses all over billy’s face.

neither knows which one of them is crying. maybe both. they don’t talk about it.

some days, when billy’s sick of steve’s shit, he tells him. tells steve it isn’t the end of the fucking world. tells steve that no one has to know. not like billy’s going to go around broadcasting it.

at first steve says there’s nothing to say. he likes girls. and he likes how billy feels. and they enjoy each other’s company. kind of.

then steve tells billy that he wouldn’t get it. and. isn’t that just the funniest thing. billy wouldn’t get it. wouldn’t get how hard it is. wouldn’t know firsthand how certain people would react.

steve fucks around, too.

apparently he did before. according to the whole of hawkins high. but then nancy happened. and steve was committed. and then billy arrived. and then nancy didn’t happen.

so yeah. steve fucks around.

says that’s what him and billy are doing anyway so what’s it matter. gets annoyed when billy asks who steve fucked that day. even called billy clingy, once. just for asking.

and billy wouldn’t care.

if steve didn’t act like billy did a terrible awful thing each time billy sleeps with someone else. if he didn’t get so pissy when billy mentions the double standard.

he doesn’t seem to care as much if billy sleeps with a girl. apparently it’s not cheating if billy’s not the one face down. billy wonders when his life became all about gay politics.

and.

it sounds bad. it sounds like hard work. and it is. hard work.

but billy always comes back. every time.

because steve’s an asshole.

sure.

but he can be okay, too.

sweet, even.

sometimes.

billy thinks about steve keeping a cassette in his car, just for billy. that time he rented a movie and invited billy round because billy mentioned he liked it. the way steve will whisper in his ear and tell him how beautiful he is. the no one else takes it like you, baby’s and the bruises on his hips. the way he’ll beg billy to come round because i didn’t get to see you yesterday. how that could almost sound like an ‘i miss you’ if billy listened hard enough. the way steve tucks billy’s hair behind his ear occasionally.

how he’ll look at billy as if he could actually love him.

sometimes.

and it kinda feels worth it.

#harringrove #asks #my words #season 1 steven realness #tw internalized homophobia #steve but if he just reverted back to s1 after nancy dumped him #which is what should’ve happened but whatever #nasty!steve #alexa play wet by dazey and the scouts #he’s an asshole because he’s ANGRY about billy being the actual love of his life #like he doesn’t realise it #but that’s why he’s so pissed off #billy doesn’t get it not really #but he really likes steve so what can you do #excuse any typos i was tired & also drinking so #my bad

[myriad-writings]

better go - b.h.

-billy hargrove x reader

-1k words

-a request from anon where billy gets reprimanded (lovingly) for being a bitch. also this took so long to put onto ‘paper’ so i’m sorry if it’s ass

-warnings: unproofread billy hargrove.

You and Billy had only been dating for about a month. If you could even call it dating, the two of you hadn’t discussed any official titles or anything like that, but you didn’t mind. Both of you were exclusively seeing each other and it wasn’t hard to guess that Billy would have shied away from direct conversations about commitment. So it was comfortably assumed and that seemed to be working so far. 

Your friends didn’t understand it and you don’t blame them. They don’t see the side of him that he shows to only you. As cliche as it was, the special demeanor was heartwarming to you. Still, that explanation could only take you so far in the scope of your friends’ understanding. 

“He’s just… mean,” Nancy comments to you while walking out of class, after watching you and Billy part ways so he could get his things from his locker. She looks like she wants to come up with another descriptor, but fails to. You offer a heavy sigh and a shrug, and before you can respond, she keeps going. “I mean, I know you say that he’s different to you and whatever. And if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you, I just… I don’t know.” She shakes her head, mostly at herself.

“Well, I am happy, Nance,” you smile at her as the two of you cross through the main doors of the school and into the parking lot. Whatever Nancy opens her mouth to say is cut off by Steve’s car screeching into the parking lot and calling everyone’s attention to it.

“He drives like a maniac,” you comment lightly, nudging Nancy with your elbow. “So does yours,” she teases before going to meet Steve at whatever spot he had haphazardly pulled into. You wave a goodbye to her before scanning the lot to see where Billy’s distinguishable blue Camaro was and head over to wait for him. 

After only a few minutes of leaning against the hood and picking at the dead skin by your nails, you feel a pair of arms around your waist and a heavy head resting on your shoulder. Billy lets out a low chuckle at the way you jump from surprise, and kisses your cheek to soothe the shock. “Nancy giving you a hard time about me again?” His voice is characteristically rough as he opens the passenger door for you. 

“She means well,” is your way of saying yes, smiling at him while you haul your bag to rest in between your knees as you situate yourself in the passenger seat. The door shuts beside you and you watch him round the front of the car to get in the driver's side. “In her defense,” you continue, “you do act like an ass most of the time.” 

“But not to you,” he grins comically wide, and you return the gesture with a poke to his upper arm. 

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

The playful smile on Billy’s face drops when he catches sight of Max skating down the connecting road between Hawkins High and Hawkins Middle. His eyes flicker down to the clock on the dash to confirm she’s already running five minutes behind schedule. 

You let your hand fall from where it was resting on his bicep and just observe, expecting him to try and keep it cool this time around, since you’re constantly reminding him to be nicer, especially to Max. Your head turns to the backseat when Max opens the door behind Billy’s, setting her skateboard and bag on the narrow floor space between the seats. 

“Hey, Max,” you smile at her, and she gives you a little smile to return the greeting. You and Max had gotten along well even before your thing had started with Billy, since you had seen her around the Wheeler house when you would be hanging out with Nancy. She had told you once or twice that she couldn’t imagine what someone like you would want with her brother, but she was glad you stuck around. 

Billy didn’t turn to look at Max as she shut the door behind her, glancing up to catch a glimpse of her in the rearview before turning his eyes straight forward again. “Max, what did I tell you about being late?” His voice is cold, a stark contrast from how he was speaking to you earlier. 

Max mumbles something about being held up by Mike ‘talking out of his ass again’ and she had lost track of time. You give her an apologetic smile when she looks to you for help, but that seems to backfire. 

“Don’t fuckin’ look at her, I told you not to be late this week, it’s a pain.” Billy snaps, and Max turns her head down to her lap and apologizes. 

“Billy,” you turn your gaze back to him, voice firm. “You just got in the car, she’s not that late.” He stays silent while you scold him. “You don’t have to yell at her all the time, you said you would quit doing that.” 

Billy sighs, and the sound is punctuated by the ignition starting while he chews in the inside of his cheeks. “Sorry, kid.” He glances over his shoulder at Max before focusing his attention on backing out of the spot to drive you both home. 

Max looks up from her lap, eyes shifting back and forth between you and Billy, who isn’t paying attention anymore. “‘S’okay,” she manages, and you smile at her. You’ve had a few long talks with Billy about his relationship (or lack thereof) with Max and you know that he actually cares more than he lets on. He’s just rough around the edges, so he needs a few reminders to not be such a hardass by nature. And you’re the only one he’ll listen to because you don’t yell at him or call him a dick, at least not maliciously. 

“Thanks, Billy, for humoring me,” you whisper to him, reaching over to play with a loose curl that hangs by his ear while he drives. Your touch relaxes him, and you both know it. He just shakes his head at you and bites back a smile. 

“Nah, you’re right.” He admits. The subtle surrender makes you grin for the rest of the ride home. 

#i actually hate this #but i felt bad with the request sitting there for so long #i'm losing my billy energy i think #sorry #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things

[ballad-of-birdy-lamb]

i saw ur post about lucy gray angst so im here to request 🙋🏻‍♀️

Ok so reader is lucy grays bsf and corio comes to district 12 and meets reader and starts taking a liking to reader and lucy gray gets jealous but then reader reassures her and they kiss and get together 🫠 please and thank you💕

-🧛🏻‍♀️

I'll hide you in my poetry.

Lucy Gray Baird x Fem! Covey Member! Reader Summary: Lucy Gray wasn't the jealous type, but oh, did she feel terrible when she saw Coriolanus with you. Warnings: none Word count: 1.3k ⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹

Lucy Gray wasn’t the jealous type, everyone knew that. Yes, she could enact revenge if she wanted to, but it was very specific and rarely happened. Her shoving that snake down Mayfair’s dress? Bound to happen! Don’t send your boyfriend's ex into the hunger games.

But she was full of love, so it wasn’t surprising that she got a thing for you of all people. She knew you for years, having grown up together after leaving the man that took care of them before he died of black lung. Your family had helped the Covey get to their feet again for the short amount of time your parents were alive. The rampant deaths from black lung affected your family and later passed. Out of thankfulness, Lucy Gray offered you join the Covey and help them with shows. Thankfully, you accept.

Her romantic feelings weren’t immediate, but her affection grew overtime. It didn’t happen while Billy Taupe was dating her, but she couldn’t deny a place in her heart was saved for you.

After Lucy Gray found Billy Taupe was cheating on her with Mayfair, she didn’t try putting that on your hands since 

Lucy Gray sang love ballads hidden behind platonic love, singing about the beauty of your eyes and how she would get lost in them, and your kindness and how you were bound for the good. If she can’t tell if you love her like she does, she’ll say they’re platonic and are just grateful for your care.

After being sent to the Capital for the Hunger Games, she had grown fond of Coriolanus, her mentor. Of course, Lucy Gray would talk about her life back home, it being suggested after she said Wovey reminded her of Maude Ivory. She would go on long streams of compliments and say you were born with beauty she could never describe but try her best anyway.

It enchanted Coriolanus too.

Lucy Gray’s time spent in the Capital and in the arena wasn’t fun for obvious reasons, her time spent mainly worrying about her life being on the line, how the Covey was holding up in District 12 and how you were helping them. She hoped the shows were still doing well without her there.

Once she got back to 12, Lucy Gray had almost run home if it wasn’t from exhaustion and stress. If her time back home wasn’t spent getting food to eat, bathing, and sleeping, maybe she would have confessed to you.

Life had gone back to normal only a couple weeks later, the Games not being prominent in Lucy Gray and the Covey’s life after. Though it was only mentioned before shows to remind the audience she was a victor.

You had gone back to your job assisting the Covey in getting the cash donations from the audience and getting their things to and from the house. The days went by normally.

But who would have thought Coriolanus would follow Lucy Gray back.

The summer heat had gotten as bad as the year before, humid with the smell of sweat and coal from the coal miners, their uniforms still smelling of the two. Lucy Gray had gotten the idea to spend Sunday at the lake house, needing to get away from her problems and stress after the Games. Coriolanus had been allowed to go along since peacekeeper work and had gotten tiring and he was offered to relax too.

Like it was stated before, Lucy Gray wasn’t naturally sadistic or vengeful, she wouldn’t commit violence unless she was in a situation where the other person swung first, or she truly needed to. It wasn’t like her jealousy was prominent before Coriolanus became more obvious with his feelings.

While at the lake, Coriolanus would try sweet talking to you. Though you would make jokes about how his accent and slang was odd, he’d continue trying his best to get you to realize how he really felt.

Lucy Gray would watch and listen with disdain for his sweet talk. She couldn’t deny that you were gorgeous and a sweetheart, but she couldn’t stop herself from becoming jealous.

The day passed slowly for Lucy Gray, watching as you laughed with Coriolanus, his smile a little too wide for her liking. She would occasionally break into the conversation to try and bring the attention back to her. Part of her wanted to try sweet talking with you but didn’t think it would work. If you liked her, it would be obvious right now.  She did care for Coriolanus for the fact he took care of her in the Capital but trying to get with you? Ew!

The lake water shimmered under the moonlight, the firelight covered the grass around the Covey and Coriolanus. They sat with each other and sang happily, making campfire foods from their bags. On the other hand, You and Lucy Gray were inside the lake house, fixing the wet swimsuits. She had gone silent from annoyance, which you noticed throughout the day.

Lucy Gray had spent her time by the fire not wanting to sing for her guest or trying to partake in the sing-alongs either. Simply eating her food quietly, making remarks when she was expected to. The day eventually needed to end, leaving the campfire put out with a bucket of lake water while the Covey and Coriolanus had gone inside.

You watched as Lucy Gray tried going inside too, quietly making her way to the door to go to bed.

__

“Lucy Gray,” you mutter and grab her arm, stopping her gently from leaving you outside alone. She looked back at you blankly, almost solemnly, causing you to tilt your head. “You’ve been a little quiet.”

Lucy Gray hesitantly nodded and pulled her hand away. “Just don’t have anything to say,” she remarked and looked down at the ground.

“Bit surprising,” you smile at her but it quickly fell when you realized she pulled away. “What's wrong, Lucy Gray?”

Lucy Gray paused for a moment, looking at you as though you were a puzzle she was trying to solve. She spoke again.

“Do you like… Coriolanus?” She asked, looking at you with a saddened expression. Your eyes widened at the idea whatever you felt for Coriolanus, of all people, would be a possible lover. “I understand if you do.”

“What?” You mumble and narrow your eyes. Lucy Gray looked away from you, not wanting to get too teary eyed when she spoke.

“I… I want you to reconsider. Please,” Lucy Gray said, stammering slightly. “I know I’m your friend but I’ve been in love with you for a long while. And if you truly love Coriolanus, I can understand but know there will always be a place in my heart for you.”

It was only seconds after Lucy Gray had spoken that your hands held the soft flesh of Lucy Gray’s face, keeping her close as her lips pressed against yours. She almost instinctively pulled away before realizing who was kissing her. You!

She had only dreamed of how soft your lips were when you got her attention, each time you smiled and spoke she wished she could touch your lips. She was now and couldn’t believe it was real life. Her hands had gone to your clothes, holding on tightly as she kept her eyes closed almost as tightly as your grasp.

You didn’t pull away for what felt like hours, keeping her to your body out of -what could only be described as- desperation. Your and Lucy Gray’s breathing had grown quick with what she thought was proven adoration. It didn’t matter if you both stopped in a couple seconds and went inside, she would just hope you would give her more kisses later in time. But you didn’t pull away now and whatever you had planned for the night with her didn’t matter, as long as you held her in your arms.

⊹₊｡ꕤ˚₊⊹

Thank you for the support!!! Highkey sucks, I rushed to get this done.

My tbosas masterlist

#tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg #thg prequel #lucy gray baird #coriolanus snow #tbosas x reader #lucy gray fanfic #lucy gray baird x reader #lucy gray x reader #lucy gray my beloved #lucy gray baird x fem reader #lucy gray baird x you #lucy gray x fem!reader #lucy gray x female reader #x female reader #fem reader #x reader #female reader #romantic headcanons #lucy gray romantic headcanons #lucy gray baird romantic headcanons #tbosas romantic headcanons #thg romantic headcanons #self insert

[buckysgrace]

Fifty Five

CW: Drugging, violence, attempted assault

Kim didn’t feel any better about herself the closer they got to Tommy’s. Her pulse was racing, her breath quickening as she wondered if Billy would be looking for her. She hoped that he would be. She hoped that he missed her as much as she missed him. She felt like she hadn’t seen him in forever. He was gone before she woke and usually didn’t return until she was pretending to sleep. She wanted to sneak into his room and see him, but was worried that he would get mad. She needed to explain things to him, but she didn’t know how to do it. 

She had dragged Addi along to the party with her, not even giving her a chance to complain about it. She had practically guilted Addi into it, but she figured that it would be fine. She promised that Eddie tagging along wouldn’t bother her. She wanted to forget the conversation with her mom, she wanted to forget everything. 

Still, she found herself dressing in a way that she could earn Billy’s attention. She couldn’t make sense of her feelings. She knew she should stop what they had between them, but she wasn’t able to commit to it. She loved him, no matter what. She just had to tell him.

She wore her lingerie under the pink dress she had worn what felt like ages ago. She had styled her hair nicely and done her makeup with a steady hand. She wanted Billy to be so enamored with her that he was no longer conflicted about his feelings. She wanted him to look upon her and just know that she was the right choice. She hoped it worked, she needed him. 

“So,” Addi turned to look at Kim, “What’s the plan for tonight?” Kim stared at her for a long moment. She wasn’t sure if she should admit that she just wanted to forget everything. She wanted to feel something, anything other than the numb feeling that had taken over her heart.

“To have fun,” Kim forced out a smile and exhaled slowly, “We’re just going to have fun.” She repeated after a second, trying to reassure her that she wouldn’t do anything stupid. Addi paused, looking like she didn’t believe her.

“You know what’s fun,” Addi stepped out with Kim, holding onto Eddie’s arm, “Eddie’s game. It’s so much fun. We could always do that instead.” Addi offered. Eddie sent her a look, looking as if this was the first time he had heard her say that.

“I thought you said it was nerdy?” He questioned, his lips curling into a smile. Kim looked at where their hands were linked and felt another wave of sadness. She looked back at Addi.

“I’m fine,” She breathed out again, “We wanted to go to parties, remember?” She linked their arms together, pulling her friend towards the thumping house. It looked similar to how it did when she had come to pick up Billy. She thought of him again, feeling another wave of sadness hit her.

“Yeah,” Addi agreed softly. Kim moved her hand away, but Addi quickly grabbed a hold of it as they moved through the bustling bodies. Kim was searching, looking through the crowds and people for anything familiar. She felt disappointed when she didn’t see him, “Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” Addi stopped her, pulling her aside. Her hands were on Kim’s shoulders, looking at her seriously. Kim felt her eyebrows furrow together.

“I’m fine, why?” She was glancing around again, in fear that she might miss Billy if he walked in. Addi shook her lightly, bringing her attention back to her. Kim exhaled softly, the beat of the music was filling inside of her body. It caused her whole body to vibrate. 

“I know it hurts but you don’t have to do this,” Addi looked at her seriously, her dark brown eyes were soft as she examined her friend, “I don’t want you to spiral out of control. Promise me you won’t do anything dumb.” Kim stared at her for a long time.

“I’m not spiraling,” She tried to defend herself, knowing it was far from the truth, “I promise. I’ll be on my best behavior.” Kim grinned again. It hurt to smile. She felt like she couldn’t do anything without Billy around. She needed him like she needed air. 

“Okay,” Addi looked her over after a second, “Just don’t get too crazy with the drinking. C’mon.” She grabbed her hand again and pulled Kim towards the kitchen. Kim looked around it, wondering if she skimmed through the drawers if she would find Billy’s keys hidden away again. She had no indication that he was here. She needed him to be. 

“It’s a party,” Kim told her softly, pouring herself a cup of spiked punch, “We’re supposed to get drunk.” Kim smiled again, welcoming the burn that filled her system. It was warming, it felt better than the empty feeling that was inside her chest. She took another drink, then another, until it was all gone.

“Oh girl,” Addi was smiling nervously as she pulled her wrist down softly, “Are we really going to do that?” She searched Kim’s face. Kim shrugged her shoulders, moving her hand away so she could get another glass.

“I’ve never really been that drunk before,” Kim glanced towards her, “I can finally get that off of my list.” Addi was still looking at her nervously.

“Okay, but when I tell you to leave I mean it. Sounds good?” Kim nodded her head, hoping that she would be long gone before then. She wanted to feel good, she wanted to feel anything. Addi poured herself a drink, still looking at Kim like she didn’t trust her. 

Kim drank the liquid slowly this time, making a point to behave nicely in front of her friend. She tried to hide the fact that her hands were shaking, that she was completely overwhelmed at the moment, “Whenever you want to go, I’m ready.” Kim promised with a nod of her head. Of course, she meant as soon as she was able to see Billy. She wanted him to see her, to want her as desperately as he did before. 

No matter how hard Kim looked, it was like he was hiding from her. She kept drinking, trying to fill the void of the empty sensation that was inside of her. She wondered if this is why Billy drank, if it was easier to ignore those feelings with alcohol. She understood suddenly.

Kim found herself drifting away from her friend, bored by the way her and Eddie were hanging onto each other. It made her think of Billy, made her think of how she wasn’t able to hold onto him. She wandered through the house, stopping as she found an empty room. She grinned as she bounced on the bed, giggling softly at how it moved underneath her. She looked up suddenly, hearing footsteps.

“Hi,” Kim smiled up at Robin, holding her hands underneath her chin, “Do you want to join me?” Robin looked a little surprised. She looked nice. Kim liked her jeans and the simple blue shirt that she wore. It complimented her eyes nicely. Kim sat up on the edge of the bed, the alcohol making her a little less shy as she patted the mattress next to her.

“What are you doing in here?” Robin smiled, looking a little flustered as she crossed the room and sat down. Kim nearly sat criss crossed, before remembering that she was wearing a dress. She shrugged her shoulders.

“Just looking around I guess,” Kim glanced around the room. It must’ve been a guest room by the lack of decorations. Robin sat with her hands crossed on her lap, “What about you?” Robin shrugged her shoulders.

“I lost Steve to some girls,” She smiled softly, “I didn’t want to stand around and listen to that.” Kim made a face with her, thinking about how she had left Addi for similar reasons. 

“Romance,” She huffed playfully as she swatted a hand in the air, “It sucks.” She felt her smile dropping as she thought of Billy. She exhaled deeply, feeling the familiar numbness beginning to settle in over her skin. Robin tilted her head, looking a little nervous.

“Steve said he talked to you?” She fidgeted with her bottom lip, gnashing it between her teeth. Kim felt an eye squint and her eyebrow raise as she tried to think about what she had spoken about with Steve.

“Been a few days,” Kim admitted as she crossed one leg over the other to try and make herself more comfortable, “He basically explained why he wouldn’t be with me before.” She replied after a second, feeling like she had to search deep inside of her brain to find the answer. She was beginning to feel a little jittery. Robin exhaled deeply.

“Yeah,” She looked at Kim apprehensively, like she was debating about saying anything, “Because of his friend?” She questioned, like she was trying to find out what exactly Steve had said. Kim nodded her head, thinking that it sounded right.

“I think that’s right.” Kim confirmed, unsure of why Robin was bringing it up. Maybe she was trying to admit that she liked Steve too. Kim wondered if she needed to reassure Robin that she didn’t feel anything for Steve anymore.

“I’m the friend,” Robin said softly, staring down at the mattress as she spoke. She dug her fingers against the pattern on the quilt, “You know, the one that likes you.” Kim blinked a few times, trying to make sense of what she had just said. She felt it would’ve been easier to process it, without the alcohol.

“Oh, Robin,” Kim suddenly felt bad as she looked at Robin’s hidden face. She didn’t think it was fair for Robin to have to feel like she should hide her feelings, “I’m sorry. You’re so funny and pretty. I just, I don’t-” Kim was beginning to take a deep breath and delve into her complicated feelings at the moment. Robin looked up at her, her blue eyes looking like she had heard this a hundred different times. 

“You don’t like girls,” Robin finished for her, “I get it. I don’t really know why I thought you would like me. You were so enamored with Steve.” Kim felt bad suddenly, realizing she had been blind to everything this whole time. She felt stupid, thinking that it was fairly obvious that Robin had been the person the whole time. 

“That was before,” Kim groaned softly, “I think we’re cool now. His mom has seen me naked. I think that ruins the whole romance thing.” She admitted. Robin looked at her confused before she started to laugh. 

“Do I want to know?” Robin looked almost hesitant, like Kim was hiding a deep secret. She covered her mouth, unsure of why she kept bringing that up. It was like she wanted everybody to know. 

“She’s a gynecologist,” Kim giggled softly, feeling her face warm, “I don’t know why I keep telling people that.” She shook her head, hoping that the embarrassment would leave her body as she did so. 

“It’s kind of weird,” Robin nodded in agreement but she was still smiling, “I’m sorry if I made things weird.” Robin apologized. Kim felt her eyebrows furrowing together as she reached for Robin. 

“You didn’t make things weird,” Kim squeezed her hand gently, “You’re pretty cool and I think if I wasn’t totally in love with this person, that we could’ve had a chance.” She admitted. She had no idea what it was like to be with a woman, but Robin was nice. She wasn’t sure why everyone made a big deal over genders. She was sure that Robin would be nice to her. 

“You’re just saying that to be nice,” Robin spoke like she was a balloon that had just been deflated, “But thank you.” She shrugged her shoulders softly. Kim paused, unsure of how she was supposed to support Robin. This was something she had no idea on how to handle. It was a complex situation that she also didn’t have the answer to. 

“I mean it,” She paused for a moment as she spoke, furrowing her eyebrows together, “How do girls have sex?” She wasn’t sure why that had to be the thing to fall free from her lips. She instantly regretted it at the way Robin’s blue eyes widened. 

“What?” Robin asked, nearly in disbelief. Her cheeks were turning red as she stared at Kim. Kim fanned herself, trying to think of a way to explain her stupidity. 

“I mean,” Kim paused for a moment, “Do you just like hump or, is there something else I don’t know about my body?” She was more curious than anything. She wondered if there was a way to do it without a penis that didn’t just involve fingering. 

“Kim!” Robin looked mortified, her face completely red at this point. Kim bit back a sheepish smile, noticing how Robin was having a hard time looking at her. She smiled bashfully. 

“I’ve had a few drinks and I’m just curious,” Kim shrugged her shoulders to defend herself. She felt bad asking, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” She added quickly, not wanting to put Robin on the spot. Billy was much easier to question, he rarely got embarrassed.

“You didn’t,” Robin spoke softly as her eyes darted around, “I just don’t really know. I’ve never had sex.” Robin admitted, like it was something to be embarrassed about. 

“You’ve never had sex?” Kim asked curiously, figuring that she was the only one at her age that had never had sex before. Robin turned towards her before she exhaled deeply. 

“I’ve never kissed anyone.” She spoke next, surprising Kim completely. Robin was nice, she was pretty. She didn’t see why no one would ever try to kiss her. Then again, perhaps Robin had never been allowed to express her feelings to anyone that she actually liked.

“You’ve never kissed anyone?” Kim repeated softly, asking for Robin to confirm what she had just heard. Robin shook her head no, looking embarrassed once again. 

“Saying it again doesn’t make it any less true,” Robin laughed, “I’m a bit of a loser.” Robin turned to face Kim again. Kim glanced over her features, taking in her bright blue eyes. She thought of Billy’s blue eyes. She missed him. She missed everything about him. Something in Robin reminded her of a bit of herself. 

“I can kiss you.” Kim offered slowly, unsure if she was crossing a boundary. She didn���t want to press the issue, but she felt guilty that Robin hadn’t ever been able to experience anything. Robin’s eyes were wide, staring as if Kim had grown an extra head.

“What?” She was laughing nervously as she watched Kim fiddle with her fingers. Kim breathed out deeply, trying to regain her confidence. She darted her thumbs in circles around each other and bit down on her bottom lip. 

“If you want to kiss someone, I can do it,” Kim nodded her head softly, “It doesn’t have to mean anything.” She added at the end, hoping that it wouldn’t give Robin any false hope. She was too crazy about Billy to ever leave him. She knew that was a fact. But if he could kiss other people, she was allowed to as well. Still, she felt guilt in the pit of her stomach.

“I don’t want to force you.” Robin said at last, breaking the tension between the two of them. Kim smiled gently as she shook her head. 

“You wouldn’t be,” Kim smiled, feeling like maybe she had drunk a little too much, “I really don’t mind.” She mumbled without a second thought. It felt weird, talking about kissing someone else. She wondered if she would be betraying Billy, but she quickly reminded herself that he wasn’t sure of his options yet. 

“Okay,” Robin looked at her, still not certain as her eyes grazed over Kim’s face, “You’re sure?” Kim smiled, gripping Robin’s shoulders instead of answering her. She leaned forward, letting her lips gently slide against Robin’s to answer that she was more than fine with this.

She tried not to laugh against Robin’s lips as they met hers messily. It was sloppy and gentle as Robin tried to find her routine. Kim felt nothing as Robin pressed her lips on hers repeatedly. It was nothing like kissing Billy. There was no spark, there was no desire to make it something deeper. 

“How was that?” Kim asked, curious as to if Billy had been lying to her the whole time. Robin looked a little flustered as she shrugged her shoulders.

“Not bad,” She squeaked out, her face more red than before. Kim felt another grin forming on her lips, “Thanks.” Robin stared at the floor as she spoke, a large grin written on her lips. Kim grinned to herself.

“Do you want to head back out there?” Kim had an urge to see Billy again. Her kiss with Robin had just fueled her fire. She wanted Billy desperately. In whatever way possible. She needed to find him, to see him. She was sure that everything would be okay if she just saw him.

“Sure,” Robin breathed out gently, “If we could um just keep this between us?” She asked hopefully. Kim nodded her head, promising to keep it between them. 

She headed back out, making sure Robin was following her as she headed back towards the kitchen. Thinking of Billy just made her feel more numb, more empty. She was upset that she couldn’t have him. She wanted to drink the feeling away, to make herself feel something again.

“You ran off!” Addi was at her side in a second, watching as she poured herself a cup of punch. Robin stood not too far behind Kim, waving awkwardly and still looking like she was having the time of her life. 

“I’m sorry,” Kim meant it as she spoke. She paused for a moment, drinking until her cup was empty again, “I was talking with Robin. Is that a crime?” Addi made a disapproving look.

“I don’t like that you’re drinking this much,” Addi admitted, trying to stop her before she made another glass. Kim huffed and shook her head, feeling more agitated than usual. Perhaps it was the drink in her hand. 

“It’s a party, I can drink,” She tried to reason with her friend, liking the way the alcohol was warming her nerves, “It’s just for one night.” Addi sighed softly but nodded, looking like there was no point in arguing. Kim glanced around the room, exhaling deeply as she watched the crowd again.

The numb feeling that had spread inside of Kim suddenly diminished when she saw him. He was like a breath of fresh air, a spark that ignited the flames inside of her. Billy was here. Standing so far away but seeming so close to her at the same time. She felt as if her heart was suddenly alive again, that everything worked the way it was supposed to. 

She inhaled deeply, her eyes flickering over him as she took in his unbuttoned red shirt and tight jeans. She breathed out deeply, feeling like her heart was beginning to beat again for the first time. She thought that he was beautiful, brighter than any light or star that she had ever seen. She stared at his golden skin as the way his beer dripped from his chin and down his chest. 

She felt a familiar squashing sensation of her heart being stomped on. She watched as Chrissy wrapped her small arms around Billy’s waist and pulled him close. He was laughing, smiling as if nothing was wrong. As if there was something to be happy about. She stared for the longest time, feeling an empty feeling settling over her. He glanced up and she tore her gaze away before she could meet his eyes again. Everything hurt, everything felt too raw. It was like she had ice in her lungs as she exhaled. Addi looked at her worried but Kim just pushed past her, gripping her cup tightly. 

“I wanna drink,” Kim was stumbling over her words as she struggled to pour another cup. The liquid was dripping down her fingers, all over the sighed of the cup as she breathed in deeply. Her heart ached, her eyesight blurred with fresh tears, “Wanna forget him.” Robin was staring at her with concern but Kim didn’t offer any more information as she took another giant gulp, welcoming the burning feeling.

“Let’s not do anything dumb,” Addi urged as she placed a hand on Kim’s wrist, “He’s not worth all of that.” Kim was about to tell her that he was worth everything, when they were interrupted by someone else walking in on them.

“Hey,” He smiled as he looked down at her, “You’re Kim, right?” She stared at him for a long time until the pieces connected in her mind.

“Oh, oh hi,” She looked at him surprised, sniffling deeply as she tried to compose herself, “Logan, right?” She smiled softly, remembering their uncomfortable meeting from the other day. He beamed at her.

“You remembered?” His lips curled into a soft smirk, “It’s nice to see you again.” She felt an odd chill settle over her. She didn’t like the way that he was looking at her. 

“Right,” She glanced towards Addi and Robin, “It’s nice to see you too.” She didn’t really know what else to say. She felt shy suddenly, remembering that he had been close to seeing her naked. Addi’s dark eyes hardened.

“You look too old to be at a party for teenagers.” Addi spoke up clearly, her eyes lingering on him for a long time. Logan looked taken aback for a moment before he spoke up again. Kim glanced towards Addi.

“Tommy is my younger brother, I live here,” He laughed, “Pretty sure I’m allowed to be in my own house.” Kim watched as Addi’s eyes narrowed again. She looked irritated and Kim wasn’t sure why. She took another drink, not wanting to press the issue. Kim glanced around at the shiny countertops and pretty wooden cabinets to distract herself from the awkward tension that was filling the kitchen. 

“It’s a nice house,” Robin nodded her head, speaking similar to what Kim was thinking, “Very classy.” She furrowed her eyebrows together as if she was considering what she had said. Kim giggled softly before she took another drink and set it down.

“Huh,” Addi was still eyeing him suspiciously, “Never heard Tommy speak about you.” Kim hadn’t either, but she wasn’t necessarily friends with Tommy at the same time. She exhaled softly, glancing up to notice Logan’s narrowing eyes. 

“Do you dance?” He turned towards Kim, looking at her with keen interest. She felt her eyes widening in surprise. She looked towards Addi, relying on her friend to answer the question. She didn’t want to be rude to Logan, but she had no desire to dance with him. 

“She’s fine,” Addi smiled stiffly, “You’re not her type.” Addi smiled sweetly, but Kim could tell that she was being anything but nice. She took another sip from her cup, looking back and forth between the two of them. 

“Can she speak for herself?” He laughed but then nodded his head, “I get it. I just thought she was pretty.” Kim made an awkward face as she glanced towards Robin and shrugged her shoulders, unsure of what she was supposed to do. Robin laughed softly, pulling Kim towards her. 

“She’s drunk,” Addi spat back, “I’m sure there’s plenty of pretty girls that are your age. Maybe you’d find them if you didn’t hang out at your teenaged brother’s parties.” She shrugged her shoulders, still wearing that sickeningly sweet smile. He looked taken aback for a moment.

“Let’s just go,” Robin tugged on Addi’s arm gently, “He’s not worth it.” Robin promised her. Kim was still partially in her own stupor, swaying to the music that was bleeding in through the living room. Addi huffed on her breath, making sure Kim was the first one to turn around.

She was beginning to stumble now as they walked. She blinked hard, grinning as she looked down in front of her and willed herself to walk normally. She could hear Robin laughing from behind her and she turned quickly, her eyebrows pulling together as she moved her empty hands around. 

“I forgot my drink.” Kim whined as she pouted, feeling the urge to kick her foot as if she was going to throw a tantrum. Addi looked back over her shoulder. 

“We can go back in a few minutes.” Addi said quickly, looking like she didn’t want to go back into the kitchen. Kim was still pouting, knowing she couldn’t have any fun without her drink. 

“It’s right there,” She turned, “Just wait here.” She tried to reason with Addi, who looked like it was a bad idea. Robin stared at her for a moment before she stood up. 

“I’ll go with,” Robin offered as she stuck her hands in her pockets. She followed closely behind Kim, “We could fend him off together.” Kim snorted at the idea. She had a feeling they would fail horribly.

“I’m not very strong,” She picked her cup up from the counter, pausing for a moment before she filled it up again, “Don’t tell Addi.” She shot Robin a look, holding her gaze until the other girl nodded in agreement. She followed Robin back out, drinking from her cup. She furrowed her eyebrows softly, wondering if someone had added more alcohol to the punch.

“Do you usually drink this much?” Robin questioned her softly, watching the way Kim was downing the liquid. She gripped her stomach, feeling the warm liquid travel down and down. She shook her head.

“Barely ever,” Kim was fluttering her eyes a bunch as she spoke, “Just feel like it tonight.” She swirled her tongue in her mouth, thinking that it felt funny to move. Robin turned towards her, looking a bit nervous again.

“You’re sure your brother won’t say anything?” Kim wrinkled her nose up and quickly shook her head, spilling some of her drink on her foot and the ground. She groaned at the cold liquid that hit her toes. 

“He’s not my brother,” Kim told her urgently, “He won’t say anything either.” She mumbled as she took another deep breath, wanting to think of anyone but Billy. She was still doing what she could to forget him. 

“It’s just,” Robin drew out a deep breath, “Kind of a big secret.” She said softly. Kim frowned as she wrapped her arms around Robin again.

“He won’t tell,” She promised as she rested her head against the crook of her neck, “Your secret is safe.” She told her again, pulling away with a smile. Robin didn’t look fully relieved and Kim felt bad for that. Kim felt herself suddenly perk up as she noticed a familiar face walking towards them in the crowd. She beamed as she gripped a hold of him, like she was giving Robin a present. 

“It’s Steve,” Kim slurred, gripping a hold of his shoulder, “He’s here now.” She presented Steve dramatically, tugging on the collar of his shirt. Robin raised her eyebrow high.

“I see that,” Robin nodded her head, a soft smile on her face, “He’s a moron.” Robin spoke dryly as she looked at Steve. He smiled sheepishly as he looked between the two of them. 

“He said I was pretty.” Kim giggled like it was some sort of secret. She stumbled back against Robin, only to be steadied again. Steve shot her a look that she didn’t understand. 

“Oh did he?” Robin sounded amused as she spoke. Kim nodded her head quickly, her eyes shutting with her movements. She thought it felt nice to have her eyes closed and did it for a few seconds before she was stumbling awake again. 

“That was,” Steve stammared, “I was just reassuring her, okay?” Robin gave him a look, “I didn’t actually do anything. I’m not that horrible.” He held his hands up in defense. Kim smiled again, bumping back and forth between the two of them.

“He’s friends with my little sister!” She shouted over the music, “It’s kinda weird but it’s fine I guess.” She had her arm wrapped around Steve’s waist, as if they were really good friends. She didn’t take any notice, feeling too high over the moon to care.

“Robin is friends with her too.” Steve protested, his hand barely touching her as she swayed back and forth. Kim grinned at Robin, unsure of why the two of them were looking at her like she was silly. 

“Oh yeah,” She beamed, “You sneak her into movies!” She giggled at the thought, thinking that it was typical Max behavior. Robin’s eyes grew wider as she stretched her hand out.

“Okay,” Robin laughed softly, “Maybe you’ve had enough to drink.” She told her, trying to reach for the cup. Kim’s face grew serious, her eyebrows furrowing over her eyes as her fingers tightened around her cup. 

“This is mine.” Kim told her seriously, shoveling herself closer to Steve to hold onto it. Robin made an exasperated face. 

“I think she’s right,” Addi appeared again, holding a cup in her hand, “Here, try this instead.” Steve moved away from her side suddenly as she swapped her empty cup with Addi’s full one. She looked down at the clear liquid, her eyes narrowing.

“This is water,” She said, making a face, “I don’t want it.” She whined as she pushed the cup back towards Addi. Addi shared a look with Robin.

“It’s good,” Robin tried this time, taking a sip from the cup, “Mhm, taste it.” Robin pushed the cup towards her. Kim shook her head and made a disgusted face.

“No thanks,” Kim told the two of them seriously, “You can keep it if you like it.” She felt herself swaying again, listening to the music that was blaring. Steve was back to her side then, handing her another drink.

“Steve!” Addi protested, watching the way Kim downed the liquid, “She doesn’t need anymore.” Addi reached forward but Kim yanked it away, clutching it to her chest like it was her most prized possession. Steve laughed.

“She’s funny when she’s like this,” He looked up over her head, “It’s not alcoholic.” He told the other two. Kim shot her head up, her eyebrows furrowing together, “Oh, I wasn’t talking to you.” He reassured her with a pat on her head. She grinned widely up at him before she took another drink.

“You’re evil,” Robin told him seriously, “Maybe not a full moron.” She said offhandedly. Kim wasn’t sure why she found it so funny, but she did. She snorted into her cup as she swayed back and forth. 

“Moron,” Kim mumbled underneath her breath. She paused, “I have to pee.” She looked at Addi as she bounced her legs together. Addi sighed deeply.

“Okay,” She linked her arm through Kim’s tightly, like she was afraid to lose her, “Let’s go to the bathroom. We’ll be right back.” She turned towards Steve and Robin, looking like she was exasperated. Kim grinned, dragging her back through the crowd.

“I don’t know where I’m going,” She admitted as she stumbled against her friend. She was looking around, not necessarily searching for a bathroom. She felt like she was looking for someone else, “Lots of people.” She mumbled underneath her breath.

“You just drank too much,” Addi patted her back softly, as she pulled the bathroom door open for her. Kim grinned, nearly racing inside as she fumbled with her dress. The door shut behind her, “Do you need help?” Kim shook her head as she finally managed her way onto the toilet.

“Oh my god,” She moaned as she rested her hands against her cheek, “I’ve never had to pee so bad before.” She breathed out deeply, staring at the tiled floors. She watched as Addi rested up against the cabinets.

“Maybe it’s time we head back?” Addi questioned softly, “I mean you’ve already drank quite a bit.” Kim groaned as she fumbled with the toilet paper.

“But Steve just showed up,” She protested, hitting her knee against the toilet as she flushed it, “I’m having fun. Aren’t you?” She washed her hands messily, splashing some of the water against her dress. Addi laughed, taking a towel and helping her dry her hands.

“I’m glad you’re having fun,” Addi started, “But I don’t know if I can drag you back drunk.” She told her seriously. Kim frowned as she wrapped her arms around Addi’s waist.

“No more drinking,” She promised, swaying as she held onto her friend, “Can we stay a little longer? Please.” Addi sighed in her arms, patting her sides softly.

“Only because I love you,” Addi laughed softly. Kim liked the vibrations that came forth as she nodded her head, “Let’s go then.” Addi pulled Kim back out of the door, back to where the music was blaring loudly again. She stumbled along, her eyes fleeting across the busy bodies. 

“What’s Eddie doing?” Kim felt her eyebrows raise in amusement, staring as he was making his way on top of the Kitchen table. Addi sighed deeply, cursing under her breath as she turned to face Kim with a serious look on her face. 

“Don’t go anywhere,” Addi pointed a finger at Kim. Kim nodded her head like she was a little kid and the teacher was telling her something really important, “I’m serious. I don’t want to lose you.” Kim was sure that she would be too hard to lose. 

“I’ll stay right here.” Kim promised with a nod of her head. She leaned back against the wall for good measure, trying to make sure that Addi understood that she wouldn’t leave her spot. 

“You won’t run off?” Addi glanced back over, making a face as Eddie began to speak. Kim tried to strain her ears to listen, but he was still too far away. She smiled at Addi. 

“I won’t run off.” She nodded in agreement. She suddenly laughed, thinking of the scene in Star Wars where Obi-Wan made the stormtroopers do what he wanted. Addi sighed softly, looking as if she was debating about leaving. 

“If I get back here and you’re gone, you’re in trouble.” Kim felt her eyebrows rising to her scalp and her eyes widening in disbelief. She didn’t want to get in trouble, she hadn’t done anything wrong. 

“Okay, mom,” She drew out the O’s dramatically, “I’ll stay right here.” She folded her hands neatly across her chest, trying to look as serious as she could manage. Addi exhaled before she nodded her head like she had no other choice. 

“Don’t move.” Kim nodded her head again. Watching as her friend drifted away. She swayed her head back and forth, her fingers pressing against the front of her dress as she watched Addi quickly rush off. Kim felt her eyes dragging across the room, staring at unknown faces as she tried to remember why she was supposed to be standing against the wall.

Her eyes flickered across the room until she found a familiar face. She grinned to herself, moving away from the wall and stumbling through the crowd. She was unable to stop herself as she approached him, completely forgetting what Addi had said. 

“Tommy!” Kim found herself wrapping her arms around his thick shoulders, as if they were the best of friends. He stumbled back for a moment, temporarily overwhelmed with the way she towered over him. She had a goofy smile on her face as she pressed her finger on his nose, squishing it softly. 

“I see you found the punch.” He observed, making a surprised face. She nodded her head, her smile burning her cheeks. 

“Very good,” She confirmed with a nod of her head, “Compliments to the chef.” She pretended to tip a hat towards him. She giggled, stumbling back against a few people. Tommy gripped onto her wrists quickly, pulling her back towards him. 

“I really didn’t think you’d come.” He said after a moment. He glanced across the room, like he was looking for someone. She furrowed her eyebrows, trying to think of who he’d be looking for. She squeezed his arm softly.

“I promised,” She paused, stumbling in her steps. She was glad she had a hold of him, “At least I think I did.” She felt her eyebrows furrowing together, trying to remember what she had said. Everything felt fuzzy. 

“Where’d your friends go?” She shrugged her shoulders, making a face as people bumped against them. She tried to scan the crowd but everyone’s faces began to mold into one. She couldn’t make out any distance features or looks. Suddenly her chest felt tight as the music became too loud, the crowd of people pushing in on her. 

“It’s hot,” She told him, beginning to pull the straps of her dress down. Her mind was blank, she couldn’t focus on anything other than how warm she felt and how loud the music was. It was like the walls were caving in on her, “Too hot.” She mumbled, moving her arm like she was going to push it through the sleeve. Tommy’s eyes widened and he gripped her wrists softly.

“Let’s not do that here,” He laughed nervously, moving his head to look over hers as he scanned the room, “Why don’t you just chill out in my room?” He pushed her sleeve back up on her shoulder. She whined, feeling sweaty and warm as she held onto him.

“I don’t want to sleep.” She told him, her tongue feeling heavy in her mouth. He nudged her forward softly, taking her up the winding stairs with an uncertain look on his face. She smiled dopily, her footsteps heavy as they walked up.

“You don’t have to sleep,” He struggled to pull her up the remaining steps as she kept halting. Her strap on her ankle kept sliding down, causing her to slip around as she did so, “Just don’t strip naked in front of everyone.” She looked around the crowded hallway, surprised that there were so many people up here as well. She was sure she had never seen so many people kissing before. 

“I wasn’t going to get naked,” She scoffed as if it was the most obvious thing, “I have panties on underneath.” She giggled as if it was the most funny thing. He huffed and pushed his door open.

“Right, shit,” He gripped underneath her waist as she went forward, nearly slamming face first into the floor. She giggled hard in his arms, thinking that it was funny, “Maybe you should take your shoes off.” He suggested. She bent forward, trying to reach for her straps as she kept giggling. Her face felt hot and tight in this position.

“Can’t reach,” She grumbled under her breath, pressing her fingers against the strap before she rose again, “Too hard.” He sighed, looking a little irritated as he dragged her towards the bed. She landed with a soft gasp and found herself scooting closer towards the middle of the bed. 

“I’m going to find Billy.” He told her softly. She felt her eyes widening as she sat up on her elbows, feeling betrayal fill inside her chest.

“No!” She blurted out quickly, shaking her head wildly. She didn’t want to be a burden to Billy. She kept trying to remind herself that he was allowed to see anyone he wanted, no matter how badly it hurt.

“Not to be rude, but I have no idea how to handle you.” Tommy stared at her as she plopped back down the mattress. She grinned, feeling like it was moving underneath her. 

“I’m cool,” Kim said quickly, the words rolling off of her tongue nicely, “It’s just hot.” She told him again, feeling like she was burning alive. She pulled at her dress sleeves again before Tommy gripped her hands.

“Please don’t undress,” Tommy was begging her again as he gently stopped her movements,“I don’t want to die.” She felt her eyebrows furrowing together, unsure of how Billy got so many girls to like him. She thought of his arm around Chrissy again, a fire beginning to burn inside of her. 

“You said you liked me,” She pouted, “Do I look ugly?” She asked curiously, wondering if she had done something wrong with her hair or her makeup. She thought about what Neil had said and wondered if she was too scrawny. Tommy laughed softly.

“You’re very pretty,” He slid the sleeve of her dress up again, “But I value my life.” He sounded more serious than playful. She felt a goofy grin forming on her face before she moved her elbows again and let herself plop back onto the mattress. She moved too fast, her eyes crossing and his room going fuzzy before she was blinking it away.

“I’m thirsty,” She said suddenly, feeling a dryness in her throat along with the burning in her skin, “Really thirsty.” She mumbled as she stared at the ceiling, willing for the room around her to stop spinning. She felt Tommy’s weight shift off of the bed. 

“I’ll be back.” He said suddenly. She tried to sit up but her body suddenly wouldn’t move. She huffed as she moved her eyes lazily to look at him. He looked worried. She felt her eyes narrowing at him.

“Don’t get Billy.” She told him directly, making a point that she didn’t want Billy to know that she was up here. She still had plans to leave with Addi, she just needed to cool down first. She wondered if Tommy could grab Addi for her. 

“I’m not,” He promised with his hands raised in surrender, “I’m going to get you water.” She wasn’t sure if she believed him but she couldn’t look at him any longer. She covered her hands over her face, not caring if she ruined her makeup. She felt sick with how fast the room was spinning. 

“Everything feels like it’s moving, but then it’s not,” She paused for a long time, “Does that make sense?” Her head felt too heavy to move. She listened to the way Tommy exhaled softly. She wasn’t even sure what she was meaning to say. 

“Yeah, of course,” He stopped for a moment before she felt the hem of her dress being pulled back down on her thighs, “Just don’t go anywhere.” She wondered if Tommy was always this nice. She nodded her head, but then quickly stopped at the sensation of being dizzy.

“Can’t,” She whined, trying to wiggle her toes, “My body feels broken, I’m too tired.” She promised him, knowing it was true. Her mind felt like it weighed hundreds and hundreds of pounds. Tommy watched her curiously.

“I’ll be right back,” He told her, like he didn’t trust her, “Stay there.” He repeated. She grinned as she thought of Addi, suddenly remembering that she had left her too. Kim groaned.

“Can you tell my friend where I’m at?” Her tongue felt odd as it moved in her mouth, “She’s probably looking for me.” Kim thought about wiggling off of the bed, but the idea of doing so sounded like far too much work. 

“Sure,” He spoke up quickly, “I’ll get right on that. Just, just don’t move.” He repeated again. She lazily held up a hand to give him a thumbs up. She listened as he slowly crossed the room and shut the door behind him. She breathed out softly.

She kicked off her heels, not caring where they landed, as she let her fingers drift across Tommy’s smooth bed. She felt like she was floating on a nice cloud, far above where she was resting. She grinned to herself, feeling giddy.

She examined his room slowly, noticing the differences from Billy’s room. She felt guilty suddenly, that she was in someone else’s room that wasn’t Billy’s. She could almost feel Tommy’s personality as she scanned his large room. There were multiple different posters of sports teams, trophies and report cards hung up proudly. She looked at the various pictures of his friends. She spotted Steve, Carol and even Billy. She wiggled her way across the bed, pulling one of them off of his board.

She felt sad suddenly as she looked at it. Billy wasn’t smiling, as usual. He was just sitting there, his eyebrows drawn in tightly and a far away look in his eyes. Even with as foggy as her mind felt at the moment, she knew there was nothing she could drink that would make her forget him. He was bound to her. 

She felt guilty, so very guilty now. She hadn’t done anything, but she felt like she had betrayed him. She was doing her best to wiggle off of Tommy’s bed. She rolled onto her stomach, searching on the floor next to the bed for where she may have kicked her shoes towards.

“Hi,” She breathed out as she sat up on her elbows. She blinked a few times as she looked at him, placing a tight grin on her face, “What are you doing here?” Logan stared at her, an amused grin on his face as he looked at her form. She thought it was silly, having him look at her in such a way. 

“I was looking for Tommy, have you seen him?” She shook her head no, “Shame, what are you doing?” She tried to think about what she was doing. She searched her brain for an answer, but didn’t really know what she was doing. 

“I guess waiting for Tommy,” She spit out, not remembering why, “It got hot down there.” He sat next to her on the bed as she quickly moved her legs out of his way. She couldn’t find the strength to rise all the way up, her body felt weak and tired. She was tempted to fall asleep in Tommy’s bed. It was soft and she felt really tired suddenly. 

“You were drinking a lot,” Logan nodded his head in agreement. Kim felt her arms plop down from underneath her. She stared up at the ceiling, urging her legs to move forward but they wouldn’t, “You look really pretty tonight.” Her skin felt like it was on fire, the burning sensation prickling at her in an uncomfortable way. It took her a moment to realize that he was pulling the hem of her dress up.

“Stop,” Her words felt heavy, her hands numb as she tried to swat him away, “Don’t wanna.” She breathed out, feeling like her insides were burning too. Everything felt hazy. He pulled it up higher, despite her protests.

“I thought you wanted to forget that guy?” He asked softly, like he was somehow trying to make her feel better. She shook her head quickly, still trying to keep his hands off of her skin. 

“No,” She mumbled, her throat feeling dry, “Don’t wanna.” She repeated again, her tongue heavy in her mouth. She didn’t know how to speak suddenly, it was like words were too hard. 

“Relax,” He pushed her shoulders down gently, “You’re fine. I promise, I won’t hurt you. You look sleepy anyways, why don’t you just go to sleep? I’m just trying to make you less hot.” She was blinking hard, trying to clear out the fuzzy parts in her mind. She no longer felt that hot, she felt like her nerves were icy cold. 

“Not hot,” She tried to tell him, “S’okay now.” She nodded her head, quickly stopping her actions as her mind swirled and eyes felt like they were crossing. He grinned from ear to ear, but it didn’t look like the kind smile that Tommy had sent her earlier. She paused, trying to remember if Tommy had actually been in here or if it was a dream. 

“It’s alright,” He tried again and she could feel a panic rising in her body. Her arms weren’t moving even though she was telling her body to work, “I’ll take care of you.” He mumbled softly, pushing the dress up over her waist. His eyes drank in over her skin as she kept trying to push her dress back down. She didn’t like that he could see her panties. She wished she had worn something different, something not so revealing. 

“Stop,” She could feel her bottom lip beginning to wobble and she hated herself for coming to tears so quickly. His fingers wrapped around the sides of her panties and she did the same, trying to keep them in place while he began to tug them down, “Please.” She whispered under her breath, feeling chills settling over her body. 

“It’s alright,” He leaned over her, as if somehow by being closer he would reassure her. She was shaking her head slowly, not wanting to make herself dizzy, “It’s going to be alright. I promise.” He touched her face softly and Kim reacted purely on instinct, rather than letting herself think about what may happen. 

She bit down on his thumb hard, clenching her teeth down as tightly as she could manage. She didn’t want his hands on her, she didn’t want him anywhere near her. He yelled out in protest, trying to yank his hand away from her mouth. Her senses were too dull to react, to really process what was happening. Her head snapped to the side, the stinging on the right side of her cheek echoed clear down her neck. She whimpered at the feeling, moving her hands to softly touch the reddened area. 

“Bitch,” He spit out, roughly turning her so that she was laying on her stomach. She shook her head hard, blinking deeply as she willed her body to wake up. Her mind felt like it was sleeping, like it wasn’t really awake, “Could’ve done this nicely.” He was yanking her dress up high over her back. She was trying to kick her feet in protest, trying to move her body away from him. 

“Stop,” She was pleading, begging for him to leave her alone as he roughly shoved her panties down her legs, “Please, please.” She was sobbing now, completely incoherent as he gripped the back of her head and shoved her sore cheek against the mattress. She tried to will herself to relax, not wanting it to be too painful as she heard the sound of his pants coming undone.

The door slammed open, causing a chill breeze to enter the room. She was still whimpering, sobbing into the mattress as she prayed that Tommy had come back to save her. She suddenly thought of Jason and his friend, wondering if Tommy would actually do anything. 

The weight from the bed shifted, Logan’s grip was suddenly off of her. She struggled onto her elbows, the room spinning as she blinked her eyes rapidly. She could feel the makeup clumping against her eyelashes as she blinked.

“Don’t touch me!” She cried out when she was dragged onto her feet. She met Tommy’s worried brown eyes, her fists were pressed against his chest as he tried to adjust her clothes again. She was shaking, overcome with fear from what had nearly happened.

“Kim, it’s okay,” His voice was rough as he looked at her. She was shaking, nothing about this felt okay, “Everything is fine.” She tried to speak but her words slurred into nonsense as she brushed against him. She was blinking, trying her best to focus. The door had invited in the music and suddenly everything was overwhelming again.The lights were too bright, the music too loud and her skin too warm. 

He looked like he was about to say something else before he turned from her, his eyebrows pulling together in worry. She was suddenly aware of the sound of skin colliding against skin. She breathed out roughly, watching the way Tommy was wincing and how his lips were beginning to part in protest. 

Kim turned slowly, her body pressing up against Tommy as her legs suddenly felt far too weak. She could hardly stand, she could hardly move as she peered over towards the wall. Billy had taken Logan by his collar and had him pinned against the wall. He was punching him, over and over again as blood poured from Logan’s nose and mouth. Kim felt too numb to react, almost feeling fearful from how Billy’s anger had seeped into the room. 

“Billy,” Tommy was letting go of her, “Billy that’s enough!” He was yanking Billy away from Logan as Kim struggled to find her balance. Her eyes moved slowly across the room, details blurring in as she kept blinking rapidly. Her neck felt wet from her tears and her cheek burned. Billy was angry, she had never seen him so angry before.

Logan was bloody and blue, his face looking lumpy and swollen. He was still smiling, if she could even call it that. His lips were so inflated and bruised that it was hard to tell. His dark eyes flickering up towards her. She felt sick all of a sudden, wondering if he even regretted what he had done. Tommy was shoving Billy towards her.

Billy turned just as fast, charging back towards Logan only to be stopped by Tommy’s hands, “He fucking deserves it. Did you see what he was doing?” BIlly was shouting, looking furious as Kim swayed against the wooden floors. She blinked again, slowly shaking her head as she tried to stay in focus with everything else. She didn’t want this to happen. 

“It’s not worth it anymore,” Billy looked like he was about to yell again but Tommy shoved him back, “Look at him. You’ll kill him if you keep it up. Just go. Take her and go.” Kim felt guilty suddenly, thinking about how Logan was Tommy’s older brother.

“I’m sorry,” She was blubbering suddenly, wishing that she hadn’t drank at all, “It’s all my fault. I’m sorry.” She was a mess, shivering like a cat that had been left in the cold rain. Billy’s rage shut off like a light, he approached her but she was too humiliated to look him in the eye. He touched her gently.

“It’s not your fault,” He glanced over his shoulder again, bearing that same furious look in his eyes, “Let’s go.” She was nodded in agreement, her body and soul felt exhausted

“Billy,” Tommy sounded exasperated and Kim felt another pang in her chest. Tommy had been so nice to her tonight and now she was the reason his brother was lying in blood on his floor, “That’s enough.” Billy ignored him, kicking his foot hard across Logan’s abdomen. He groaned, staring up as Billy bent down and cupped his bloody chin.

“You ever,” Billy was all wrath as he spoke, “Come near here again, I’ll kill you. Do you understand?” Billy was hissing, his words like venom as he spoke. Kim was too afraid to move forward as Logan’s eyes found her again. He nodded his head slowly, as if it was some kind of game. 

“Do you,” Billy was seething, his whole body curled into anger as he roughly gripped Logan’s bloody face. Kim felt like she was stuck to the floor, unable to move even though she was desperately trying to. It was like her body wasn’t under her control anymore, “Understand?” Billy pushed Logan’s head back hard, the sound of his skull snapping against the wall echoed in the room. Kim turned to where Tommy was standing, looking just how she felt. 

“Yes,” Logan finally spit out, his words slurring as if he had been the one to drink, “I understand.” Billy let him go roughly, letting him rest in a pile on the floor. She was blinking softly, her eyes feeling droopy as Billy approached her again. She took in the blood on his hands and the knuckles that looked swollen.

He paused for a long moment, looking hesitant as he brought his hands up towards her face. She nearly winced away, her cheek still burning from the sensation. He stared at her for the longest time, looking angry. She was worried, afraid that he would blame her for everything that had just happened. 

“Are you okay?” His question surprised her. She wasn’t sure what to say, or what her answer would be. She just swayed back and forth, her legs feeling like they would give way any moment. 

“I feel weird,” She admitted as she felt her body tilting backwards. He moved his hands from her face, gripping a hold of her elbows to keep her steady, “Too much to drink.” She was slurring her words again, unsure of how to explain to him how weird everything felt at the moment. He looked at her concerned, his eyes shooting back towards Tommy.

“I don’t know,” Tommy sounded remorseful, “I swear I didn’t know.” Kim wasn’t sure what Tommy was talking about. Billy nodded hard after a moment, his arm wrapping around her waist.

“Can you walk?” She nodded her head softly, feeling comfort in his strong arms. She wanted out of here, she didn’t want to be around Logan for any longer. She suddenly felt like everything she had on was too tight, too revealing. She felt insecure, wanting to bury herself in a hole and hide. It didn’t take him long to drag her out of there. She stumbled down the stairs, grateful for his strong grip that kept her steady. 

People were staring as he pushed through the crowd. They moved on instant and she was sure Billy still looked furious. She was suddenly anxious, wondering how terrible she looked at the moment. She couldn’t even make out faces as he dragged her along through the crowd. 

“My shoes,” She mumbled suddenly as she walked across the floorboards, “I forgot my shoes.” She nearly whined, unsure if she was speaking louder than the music. Billy turned towards her in surprise.

“I’ll get them after,” He promised, pulling her out the door. Her thoughts were thumping in her head, “What’s wrong?” He turned towards her in worry as her feet came to a halt.

“I need to tell Addi,” Her heart was beating roughly inside of her chest, “She’ll worry.” She mumbled, nearly falling against the side of the house. Billy sighed as he took her hand.

“I think she’ll understand this time,” He urged her to take a step forward, “Come on.” He pleaded. She found herself moving without a second thought, her body following his on command. She couldn’t find it in herself to protest at all. 

“It’s hot,” Her mind felt fuggy as she tried to remember why she was walking barefoot. The crunchy grass and warm dirt tickled against her bare feet as he trekked down towards his familiar car. She stumbled and tripped, clinging to him as she tried to keep herself balanced. She found that it was hard to walk when her only source of light was the moon and her mind felt so foggy, “Really hot.” She was trying to pull her dress off again, not caring that they were outside.

“Let me turn the AC on,” He gently stopped her movements, squeezing her hands in his own, “You’ll cool down faster that way.” He was watching her with worry in his eyes as he helped her slide into the car. She moaned about how hot it was again, nearly forgetting to put her seatbelt on. She sat forward in urgency, scooting as far forward as she could to feel the cold air against her hot skin.

“Better,” She spoke softly, her eyes closing as the air coated her skin, “We’re leaving so soon.” She observed as she looked back up towards the bustling house. Billy turned towards her, looking concerned again.

“Yeah,” He said softly as he began to reverse the car, “You’re acting funny.” He observed softly. She moved her head to face him, a dopey grin wrote across her face.

“You’re funny,” She flicked her finger across his nose, “Are we sneaking out early?” She felt her eyes rolling back in her head before she snapped forward again, watching the way the moonlight danced on his skin as he drove.

“Shit,” He mumbled under his breath as he lit a cigarette. She stared at the blood on his knuckles, feeling a cold dread settling across her stomach. She felt sick suddenly as her smile dropped from her face, “We can talk about it in the morning.” He was still driving as she stared at him, suddenly feeling everything rushing back towards her. She felt small, so small as bile rose in the back of her throat. 

“Billy,” She breathed out hard, feeling her pulse echoing throughout her body. Everything was beginning to sound like it was far away, like she was fading into something else. Her breathing was loud in her ears as time seemed to pause around her, only to be thrown at her suddenly as she tried to recall which trees they had passed by, “Billy pull over.” She spoke up louder, her skin feeling as if it was on fire.

“I’m not pulling over,” He told her seriously as he drove. She blinked hard, trying to bring the world back to normal as the sounds and sights around her kept slowing and then racing towards her suddenly. She was beginning to fan her face, “What are you doing?” He looked over suddenly. The movement was too fast for her. She heaved forward.

“Stop the car,” She urged him, reaching for her seatbelt and unbuckling herself. He began to protest only for her to cut him off, “Stop!” Her body was too hot, her insides too cold when he finally pulled to a stop. He looked like he was going to start warning her about something, when the sound of her gagging cut him off.

“Shit,” He pushed himself across the middle console and pushed the door open quickly. She fell over quickly, onto the hot gravel and the prickly grass as she emptied her stomach onto the ground before her. Billy was behind her in a heartbeat, pulling her hair back quickly as she emptied the contents in her stomach. She vomited until there was nothing left, until all she could do was dry heave. Billy was still there, pulling her hair back tightly and rubbing soothing circles along her back. She felt something in her chest spike as the warm air coated her, digging in along her skin. Dread danced up her spine, nestling in her stomach as she looked towards him. 

“Something’s wrong,” She mumbled, feeling her heart beginning to pump inside of her chest harder than what it should. It felt like it was going to burst. She started to breathe faster, feeling the panic building up in her chest, “I think I need to go to a hospital.” She was nodding her head, already deciding that going to the hospital would be the safest thing. 

“Why would you need to go to the hospital?” He questioned her softly. His blue eyes were looking at her gently but she couldn’t focus on him for too long. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, her breath coming out in quick spurts as her heart hammered uncomfortably hard against her chest. 

“Somethings wrong, my heart it’s going too fast and I can’t breathe.” Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth as she tried to spit all the words out at once. She felt like she didn’t make any sense, like she really couldn’t articulate what she was feeling at the moment. Everything was moving too slow, then it was suddenly too fast. Her heart only seemed to race faster in her chest at the thought that something was wrong. She was beginning to cry and she didn’t even realize it. 

“Hey, hey,” He cupped her chin softly, his fingers brushing along her jawline as he kept her steady and looking towards him. She was having a hard time focusing, everything was beginning to be overwhelming, “Look at me, hey. Just look at me. It’s fine. Take a deep breath, you’re fine.” He kept trying to reassure her. She tried to follow his commands, focusing on the way he was holding her and gazing in on his concerned eyes. Her chest was still moving hard, but not nearly as fast as what it was a few seconds ago.

“My heart is beating too fast,” She was still taking deep breaths as she spoke. Billy was rubbing his thumbs across her wet cheeks and sending her an urgent look. She was trying to relax but it felt too difficult, “It’s really, really hard.” She told him finally, moving one of his hands away from her cheek and placing it on the base of her neck. She held it there hard, looking towards him in worry so he could understand just how roughly her heart was moving. It was stinging hard in her chest, stabbing up against her collarbone and ribs.

“It’s beating hard,” He confirmed gently. He rubbed his thumb across her skin, “You’re just freaking yourself out right now. I promise you. Nothing is wrong. Just take another breath.” She exhaled roughly, desperately trying to take another inhale. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t get her lungs to fill with fresh air. 

“Did someone give me something?” She was starting to panic again. He quickly took notice, shaking his head no swiftly and touching her face again. Her shoulders were rising and falling rapidly, her breath was coming out in short spurts as she assumed the worst. Billy’s eyes widened and he was shaking his head again, denying her worries. 

“No one gave you anything,” He reassured, tapping his fingers along the side of her face again to draw her darting eyes back towards him, “You’re fine. You’re just drunk, okay? You had a lot to drink and you’re not used to it. Just breathe.” She listened again, taking a few deep inhales until she felt like her lungs were full again. She felt like she was shaking, like her whole body was vibrating. 

“Something just doesn’t feel right,” She sounded pitiful as she spoke, like she was whimpering. Billy was rubbing his hands down the curve of her shoulders, squeezing her arms softly. She felt like she was finally calming down as she finally inhaled deeply enough for all of her lungs to be filled with new air, “It hurts.”

“You’re okay,” Billy promised her, his eyes looking at her gently. She felt safe with him, like nothing bad would happen as long as she had him, “You just got a little panicked. Let’s get in the car and go home. Does that sound okay?” He was pulling her hair out of her face, trying to get a better look at her.

“I can go,” She mumbled under her breath, her body feeling fuzzy as he guided her back towards the car. He held onto her hand tightly, keeping a grip on her so he could help her slide into the car. He held onto the top of her head to keep her from bumping her forehead against the roof of the car, “Tired.” She mumbled, suddenly feeling like her body was exhausted. She blinked for a long second, missing the way he shut her door and made his way back inside. She stared at him for a moment before he reached across and buckled her back in.

“Are you okay now?” He asked her softly. She liked the way his eyes looked in the moonlight. They were like bright stars, shining right at her. She nodded her head, feeling a dopey grin forming on her lips. She was already forgetting what had just happened. Her skin tickled against the leather seats as she rested back against her chair. She kicked her feet out in front of her. They felt odd against the floor and she found herself laughing every few seconds from the sensation. 

“M’fine,” She grinned from ear to ear as she turned to face him. She didn’t understand why he looked so worried. She didn’t remember how they got in the car, but figured he must’ve dragged her out of the party. She leaned against the middle console, nearly choking herself against the seatbelt as she did so. She rubbed at her neck before she leaned her head against his shoulder, “Really fine.” She told him seriously. She noticed that he was driving slower than usual and turned towards him with questioning eyes.

“I think you need to sleep,” He glanced down at her with a hint of a smile on his lips. She liked the sound of sleeping. It sounded nice. She felt like her whole body was exhausted, “You look tired.” He confirmed, bending his head down to press a kiss against her forehead. She smiled against the sensation, liking how it traveled clear across her skin and down her spine. She sat up after a moment, relaxing as best as she could against the back of the seat. She felt her eyes fluttering shut and she wondered if she’d drift into sleep before they made it back. 

“Too loud.” She murmured, feeling an odd pang in her chest as her heart seemed to match the beat of his music. She placed a hand over her chest, squeezing softly as if she could make the hurting go away. He quickly turned the dial all the way down before he reached over and took her hand in his. He squeezed softly, glancing towards the road as he spoke.

“Just breathe again,” He reminded her as he traced his fingers along the curve of her hand before he pressed his fingers against her palm. She instantly closed her fist around his fingers, bringing him closer towards her, “You’re doing great. We’re almost home, okay?” She nodded her head, wishing that she believed it was all okay. She kept breathing deeply, trying to ignore the feelings and thoughts of panic that kept rising in her mind. 

“It hurts,” She was holding her chest again suddenly, “Really bad.” She breathed out in worry. Billy shook his head as he pulled over. His parking was more rushed than what it usually was. He leaned over the console and took her face in his hands again.

“You’re fine, I promise you. Nothing is going to happen to you,” She nodded her head, looking at the intense way he was staring at her. Her heart was still beating obnoxiously loud, nearly louder than her own thoughts, “You’re safe.” He reassured her after another moment. She blinked hard, not even realizing she was crying again. She didn’t understand what kept happening to her. 

“Okay,” She believed him anyway. She watched as he quickly got out, then crossed the front of the car before he was opening her door, “The world is spinning.” She mumbled as he helped her out of the car. She leaned up against him, wrapping her arms around his chest. He pulled her into a tight hug, letting her linger up against him. 

“Let’s go inside,” His voice was slightly muffled as he spoke, “Get you cleaned up.” She grumbled as she remembered she’d have to walk up that big hill. He held onto her waist with a soft grip, trudging her up the hill. Her legs were shaking and wobbly. She glanced at the ground, giggling as she remembered she didn’t have shoes again.

It was a struggle to get in through the front door. He was basically pulling her around, her body weight fully leaning up against him. He didn’t protest at all, only sending her soft hushes when she would randomly start giggling again. She didn’t know how to explain to him that everything felt funny and off at the same time. 

He gently pulled her into the bathroom, quickly shutting the door behind him before he turned the light on. She blinked hard and rapidly, trying to urge the bright light to stop stinging against her eyes. Billy held onto her waist, bringing her back to the Earth. 

“Here,” He handed her the toothbrush gently, “Can you brush your teeth? I’ll be right back.” She stared down at the toothpaste on it before she looked at him again. His eyebrows were pulled tightly together, looking like he was urging her to take it. 

“You won’t leave me?” She asked nervously, taking a deep breath to keep her heart from racing again. Billy looked over her worried expressions gently, before he tucked her hair behind her ears and shook his head no. 

“No, I”ll be right back. I promise.” He squeezed her face gently in his large hand. She stared at him for the longest time before she accepted his answer. She would be fine on her own for a few minutes. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss against her forehead, making her lips curl into a smile.

“Hurry.” She told him seriously, watching as he snuck back out of the bathroom. She brushed her teeth slowly, taking cautious movements as anything too fast left her feeling dizzy. Despite her caution, she still felt like the floorboards were moving from underneath her. 

“You alright?” Billy questioned her as he snuck back in. She nodded her head as she leaned against the counter. She blinked hard and took another deep breath, feeling the painful lurch of her heart. He stepped closer, touching her shoulders gently, “Let’s get you cleaned up.” 

“I feel gross,” She whined as he shimmied the dress off of her, “Yucky.” She said again after a moment. Her skin felt sticky and sweaty. She regretted the outfit she wore underneath as the lace seemed to itch her sweaty skin. 

“That’s why you’re going to get in the shower,” He reminded her softly. He reached his hands around and unhooked her bra slowly, “Did you wear this for someone special?” His tone was slightly teasing.

“Wanted to make you jealous,” She pouted her lips out as she spoke. He set her bra down before he moved towards her hips, shifting her panties down her legs. She breathed out hard as she got a painful reminder, “Logan saw it though. I didn’t want him to, he just did it.” She was rambling again as her chest started to move up and down harshly. Billy snapped his head up and gripped her face softly.

“S’alright,” His eyes looked over her panicked expression again, his eyes softening even more, “He won’t be bothering you for a long time okay? I’ve got you, I promise.” She nodded, her chest still rising rapidly as she tried to control her breathing again. It hurt, her chest hurt so badly. She gripped her hands over his wrists, watching the way his lips moved as she calmed her breathing. 

“I’m sorry,” She felt close to tears suddenly. He was shaking his head as she spoke, “I shouldn’t have drank so much. I was just so upset.” Her breathing became rapid again. He touched her collarbone softly.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” He nudged her chin up again so she was looking at him. HIs lips were curled up softly but he had some worry deep within his eyes, “Think about what a mess I was. At least you haven’t vomited all over yourself.” He tried to tease her, tried to get her mind off of everything that had happened. 

“I did vomit,” Kim cried out, her tears growing wet, “Outside the car.” He wiped at her cheeks again, looking like he was close to laughing. She sniffled, unsure of what was so funny. She felt like she should be embarrassed. 

“Not on yourself though,” He nodded his head, “Don’t worry about it. Seriously, everything is going to be okay.” She felt like he had said that a lot. She sniffled and nodded her head. 

“I’m cold.” She told him, trying not to whine as she spoke. Her body no longer felt warm as the chill air settled in around her. The brisk air caused goosebumps to appear on her skin and for her nipples to harden. She thought about crossing her arms over her chest and hiding away. 

“Probably because you’re standing here naked,” He smiled, leaning away for a moment so he could turn the water on. She watched him, leaning against the cold tiles as he moved, “Can you get in the shower?” She stumbled, kicking her foot against the tub as she stepped inside. She whined, the pain traveling up her body.

“Owie.” She mumbled, bending over to rub at her foot. She moved too fast. Stars appeared in her eyesight and she nearly toppled over. Billy gripped her waist hard and straightened her up.

“Okay,” He sighed softly and she looked over at the sound of clothing rustling. He was removing his clothes, stripping down to join her, “Scoot over.” She mumbled in response, her foot hurting from where she had hit it. She enjoyed the way the warm water hit her back. He made his way in before he closed the shower curtain.

“So tired.” She mumbled suddenly, her hands feeling like they were glued to her sides. Billy moved her softly, fully dipping her hair underneath the water so he could get her hair wet. Her eyes kept falling closed as he scrubbed at her hair and skin. She was too tired to protest, to tell him that she could handle it on her own. She felt an urgency to fall forward against his chest. 

He scrubbed at her hair softly and she watched the way his nose scrunched up as he worked. She thought of how it felt like Chicago had been ages ago. She wished they could go back. She furrowed her eyebrows suddenly when he peered out of focus and snapped forward again. 

“Time isn’t right,” She told him, beginning to breathe hard again, “Everything is moving too slow and then it’s fast all of a sudden.” She knew it was dumb, she knew it made no sense but she didn't know how else she was supposed to explain it. Billy hummed softly, rinsing the rest of the soap from her red hair. 

“Just breathe,” He reminded her again, watching the way her chest was beginning to rise and fall again, “You’re fine, just keep taking deep breaths.” She felt her chest rattling as she tried to do as he said. She felt the tears forming in her eyes, wishing that he would listen to her. 

“I can’t remember what’s been happening,” She was freaking out, “I can’t remember anything.” She was crying again, trying to remember how they had made it home and into the shower in the first place. He paused, moving his soapy hands underneath the water so he could touch her again. 

“All we’ve done is showered,” He tried again, “There’s nothing to remember. I promise. Just keep breathing.” Her chest was aching from how hard she was breathing. She stared at him, trying to make sense of what he was saying as she looked into his blue eyes. They were pretty. So blue and so full of life. 

“You promise?” She asked softly as he washed her hair. He was gentle to make sure that he didn’t get any soap into her eyes or mouth. He traced his hands down the curve of her shoulders before he reached her hands. He squeezed softly.

“Of course,” He was speaking softly again, almost slow so she could understand every single word he said,“You don’t have anything to worry about.” He promised her, squeezing her small hands in his large ones. Her heart was still thumping but her breathing eventually went back to normal again. 

Her eyes remained closed the rest of the shower. It was easier that way, so she didn’t become overwhelmed by all of the movements. The water was off suddenly and he was drying her off with a towel. She felt a grin forming on her lips, a small laugh bubbling in her chest at the feeling of the towel on her skin. It felt so soft and warm. She wanted it to engulf her like a giant hug. 

“Feel good?” He sounded like he was amused. She opened her eyes again, thinking that he looked too bright to be in such a dingy room. She was enamored by him, her arms and legs moving however he wanted them to go. 

“Yeah,” She breathed out slowly, wondering how he could look so pretty, “Feels nice.” He smiled in response, drawing his hand along her back to make sure that she was dry. Her smile grew as he dressed her, realizing that he was giving her one of his shirts to wear.

“S’big,” Her words felt like they were slurred again. He chuckled as he stood in front of her, bringing her brush up and slowly brushing her hair out. She liked that he was gentle with his movements. It felt a lot better against her skin, “Feels good.” She mumbled, her body growing tired. 

“Do you want me to braid it?” Her eyes were beginning to feel heavy and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could stand. She kept bumping into him, her eyes snapping shut and then rapidly opening again. He peered into focus as she thought about his question for a long time. 

“Do you know how?” She murmured absentmindedly. He was looking at her worried again and she didn’t understand why. She wondered if she had done something wrong. 

“Is it that hard?” She shrugged her shoulders, her mind feeling too fuzzy to have much of an opinion. He sat on the edge of the tub while she fell to the floor in front of him, “Jesus, are you okay?” He scooted her forward a bit, pulling the shirt up to look at her lower back. She looked back at him, her wet hair touching against his legs.

“I didn’t feel it,” She told him seriously, “Everything feels weird.” He paused for a moment.

“It happens,” He tilted her head forward gently, “Are you tired?” He started to brush her hair gently and she felt her eyes fluttering close. She hadn’t felt tired before, but she certainly did now. His hands were so soft, so gentle that it tickled across her scalp.

“Bit,” She mumbled, unsure of why she had such a throbbing in her chest, “I could sleep here.” She admitted, enjoying the way nothing seemed to be moving when she had her eyes shut. The back of her neck tickled when his fingers brushed against it. Everything felt so nice, so much better than how they usually felt.

“Let’s go lay down,” He told her softly when he was done. She pressed her palm against the back of her head, feeling the rough ridges and bumps. She was sure it was messy, but she didn’t mind. She giggled, leaning her head all the way back until she was looking at him. He glanced down at her, the lines on his face were drawn in tightly. His eyes looked like they were full of worry. She felt bad, wondering what he was worrying about, “Can you walk?”

“Yeah,” She told him but then held her hands up anyways, “I’d prefer not to though.” She grinned again, liking the way he didn’t exhale or act like dealing with her was a chore. Her skin lit into flames when he picked her up. She moved as close to him as she could, lingering in the way his hands felt against the back of her thighs.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked her, a hint of an amused grin on his face. She watched him for a moment, feeling her eyebrows raise towards her forehead. She couldn’t remember why she wouldn’t be feeling good. She was with Billy. 

“I guess so,” She told him, nestling her head on his shoulder as he walked. She felt like she sounded too loud, her breathing was too loud and he was too quiet. She moved her head again, focusing instead on the way his heart was beating in his chest. She liked the sound, she liked the way it felt, “I’m kind of dizzy.” She admitted. Even though the house was dark, she kept feeling like objects were moving when they didn’t need to be. She closed her eyes again, listening to him push her door open gently.

“You just need to sleep it off,” He told her softly as he laid her across her bed. She sprawled out suddenly, giggling at the odd feeling of her comforter against her skin. She moved her hands out against it like she would when she would lay in the sand. He watched for a moment before he was pulling the blankets up over her. She turned on her side, curling up in them. She felt like she was hiding in a warm den, “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” He pressed his lips against her forehead, the sensation traveling across her skin. She paused for a long time before she heard footsteps. She snapped her eyes open, not realizing that he meant he’d be in a different room than her. 

She turned to him suddenly, feeling panicked at the idea of him leaving, “Where are you going?” She asked him seriously. He turned, looking at her confused. She was beginning to sit up when he made his way back and gently pressed her back down onto the bed.

“You need to sleep it off.” He was trying to put the blankets back over her again. She wiggled her arms out from under her comforter and took a hold of his wrists. She stared up at him for the longest time, not liking the look of remorse that was on his face. 

“Don’t leave me.” She begged, her heart beginning to hurt again. She could feel her breathing beginning to rise again. Billy sat on the edge of the bed, pushing some of her hair that hadn’t made it into the braid. He twisted the strands gently and she found herself leaning into his touch. 

“I’m right next door.” Billy reassured her gently. He rubbed her back softly, his fingers tickling against her spine. She curled against him instantly, trying to make the ache inside of her leave. She took another deep breath, her lungs burning. He touched her face gently, caressing her cheek until she was brought back down. 

“That won’t help me if I die in my sleep.” She responded weakly, unsure of why those exact words left her mouth. She was scared, she could feel that deep inside of her. Billy watched her for a moment before he pressed his lips against the corner of her mouth. She exhaled softly, wishing she could never forget how it felt. 

“You’re not going to die,” His lips curled into a gentle smile but there was something else hidden beneath his eyes. Worry, anger. It looked like a mixture of all of that, “Why would you think that?” He asked her softly, as if she was silly. She shook her head, meaning it completely. 

“My heart feels funny and it’s hard to breathe.” She told him honestly. Kim breathed in sharply again, feeling like there was glass inside of her lungs. Billy watched her for a long moment 

“Scoot over,” He told her seriously, nudging her bottom softly. She did as he said, moving closer towards the other side of the bed. The mattress dipped as he laid behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against him. She sank into his touch, closing her eyes and trying to inhale deeply. He followed her same deep breaths, his chest moving alongside her back. It was easier to breathe that was, with him guiding her, “You’re okay.” He promised as he pushed her wet braid behind her head. 

“I’m scared.” She admitted, feeling like everything was coming to a standstill. He traced his warm fingers across her face gently. The sensation traveled across her body, tickling her gently in a nice way. 

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” He promised her, his words warm and like honey. She closed her eyes, willing herself to focus on him and not anything else. His fingers kept the same pattern as he slowly dipped down, tracing them across her collarbone and down her shoulders. 

“What if something happens to me in my sleep?” She was speaking again, unable to control the feelings inside of her stomach. She breathed out harshly. He hummed and kissed the side of her mouth again. 

“I’ll stay awake and watch you.” He told her gently. He brought one hand around her waist and squeezed softly. She sank against his touch, willing for the sensation in her stomach to go away. She hated how she felt right now and she didn’t want to feel guilty for making him stay awake to care for her. 

“Then I feel bad.” She mumbled underneath her breath. She felt his chest moving as he laughed. She turned to face him, fully meaning her words. He only looked at her as if she was silly.

“Don’t feel bad,” He told her softly as he cupped her face softly, “You need to rest.” He encouraged her softly. She felt calmer when she was looking in his eyes. He was easy to focus on, to make her feel grounded. 

“What about you?” She didn’t want him to be tired in the morning. She thought that he deserved to get just as much rest as what she did. He was smiling again and she wondered what he was thinking. 

“I’ll sleep when I know you’re fine.” He promised her. Her eyes glazed over the way his curls pressed against his cheek as he laid on the pillow. He squeezed her hands softly with his larger one.

“You won’t leave?” She whispered softly, for no one but him and the night to hear. He kissed the side of her face softly. She felt comforted again, her heavy eyelids closing again. He held her close and she felt safer than what she had in a long time. 

“I’m not going to leave you again,” He promised her. His voice was warm and smooth. It was like he was singing her a lullaby. She was drifting off, her mind and body finally at ease as he traced his fingers across her warm skin. Her chest was moving deeply as she drifted away,“Kim?” His voice was soft against the crook of her neck. Her eyelids were too heavy to open.

“Mhm.” She was already drifting off again, barely awake to recognize that he was speaking. Her body was so exhausted. Her mind felt like it was sleeping, his words drifted around loosely inside of her head in a way she wasn’t able to untangle at the moment. 

“I love you.” 

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove x oc #billy hargrove stepcest #tw stepcest #tw pseudocest #billy hargrove x original character #cruel summer #stepcest

[unmaskthewriter]

Ocean Eyes {Anakin Skywalker x GN!Reader}

A/N: Welcome back, dearest reader! I wrote this on the spur of the moment late last night and this morning, the song came to me: ocean eyes by Billie Eilish

I do not give permission for any of my work to be copied, published and/or translated on any platform including Tumblr.

Summary: You watch the rise and fall of your best friend and love, Anakin Skywalker.

Word count: 1336

Warnings: mentions/depictions of violence, reader is blind

GIF not mine, credit due to stylesluxx

I’ve been watching you for some time

Can't stop staring at those ocean eyes

You wait patiently in the sparring area overlooking Coruscant. Obi-wan Kenobi was on another domestic dispute mission which left you in charge of training his Padawan while you were away. Of course, he could have taken him if he wished to bore Anakin with yet another domestic dispute. These opportunities allowed you time with your favorite Jedi in training.

You were only knighted months ago at the young age of 21. Anakin was jealous of course, but you had to remind him you were older and therefore naturally ahead of him. You and Anakin grew up together in the Jedi temple, growing closer over the years. Of course, the two of you danced the fine line between friends and something more. You knew you both made a commitment to the Jedi but there was no denying your feelings.

“You know, if I didn’t care for you, I don’t think I’d put up with such an excuse.” He would say. You heard his footsteps long before he entered the room.

“You walk heavy, Anakin. Does something trouble you?” You ask, turning to face him. He lets out a soft sigh, looking away for a moment.

“Would it be worth it to lie?” He smirked. You chuckle and shake your head, approaching him as you reach for your pocket.

“I would like to try something different today.” You revealed a blindfold, raising it up and tying it over your eyes. You step back, allowing your bare feet to read the room and energies.

“This lesson is no different than the training droids we used in earlier training. Only this time, there is a live target.” You explain with a nod, giving the padawan permission to begin.

“Aren’t you going to use your lightsaber?” Anakin asked, a little confused, “I’m not going to fight a defenseless opponent.” He argued.

“This isn’t about me being defenseless Anakin. Be mindful of the force. The Force will guide me. Let’s begin.” You insist as the buzz of his lightsaber alerts you. He rushes toward you, preparing the first blow.

~

Ten years have passed and much has changed between you and the Skywalker. After the bombing of the Jedi Temple hangar, your sight had been taken from you. Of course, you knew Ahsoka, Anakin’s padawan, to be innocent from the very start. You never once blamed her, but you felt a change in Anakin after she left the Jedi order. He came to visit you frequently in the medical bay shortly after the attack.

Burning cities and napalm skies

15 flares inside those ocean eyes

“How do I look?” You attempt to joke. Beneath the wrappings, your eyes were shut and heavily scarred.

“Would it be worth it to lie?” You could hear him chuckle. You feel a dip in the bed beside you, and you weakly push yourself up. There’s a moment of silence between you two as the heavy truth lingers. You had lost your sight. You could sense the weight that Anakin had been carrying. Guilt, Anger, Hate.

“No use… how is Ahsoka? I heard they’re putting her on trial.” You quickly change the subject, hoping to deflect the attention from yourself.

“Yes, and the Council has already refused to listen to your testimony!” Anakin fumes. You reach for his hand.

“Ani-“

“I have to prove her innocence, {Y/N}. She’s my padawan, I know she wouldn’t do this.”

“Be mindful of these feelings. It is only natural to feel anger towards the Council right now. You will learn the truth and bring justice not only to me, but to Ahsoka and the others who suffered that day.” You tell him with a great sense of confidence.

“Thank you, Y/N, for always having confidence in me.” Anakin spoke, placing a gentle kiss to your bruised knuckles.

All of those blindfolded lessons with Anakin had served their purpose.

Now, you were hiding in the harsh desert world of Tatooine. You had made a home for yourself just outside of Mos Espa, filled with small wares and simple comforts. You made a living trading and selling scavenged parts and wares to various people of all walks of life. After the events of order 66, the Jedi had scattered across the galaxy, going into hiding from the rising Sith Lord, Vader. There were rumors of a fellow Jedi in the Jundland Wastes, not that you’d ever seek him or her out. Safety was not in numbers among the Jedi these days. The less attention you attracted, the better off you were.

Your heart ached at the thought of the Sith Lord you had once considered a great friend, perhaps even more. Every flashback, even these odd ten years later, would still make you wince.

You ‘saw’ what he had become that night, and it frightened you.

You really know how to make me cry

When you give me those ocean eyes

You were in the Jedi Temple teaching a group of younglings when the clone troopers entered your classroom.

“Yes?” You asked, feeling as though something was off. You could hear the moving of their blaster rifles and you immediately jumped out, saber drawn and deflecting their bullets. The children had all hid behind you, mortified. After defeating the clones in your classroom, you swiftly led the children through the halls, taking down any clones that had crossed your path. Luckily for you, being blind has taught you to rely on your other senses. You could feel footsteps and hear from a long distance away.

You gathered the younglings that you could find, and had almost made it to the temple entrance when he entered. You almost couldn’t tell it was him, there was such a disturbance surrounding him. You felt something evil and elusive. A sith.

“Children, go!” You shouted. Luckily, a few other Jedi had been nearby. Two had broken off to usher the younglings to safety. Whoever it was, they walked closer and without much warning, grabbed your hand. You tilted your head, confused and felt his skin.

“Ani?” You ask, composing yourself and gripping your saber tighter with your free hand.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were-“

“No, I’m here. Ani, please. Do not lie to me.” You speak softly. With a single hand, you reach out and place a hand on his chest. You feel the turmoil, the whirlwind of emotions. He gently grasps your shoulders.

“You shouldn’t be here-“

“Anakin, I won’t allow you to do this.” You insist, taking a step back as tears come to your eyes, “Snap out of this. We can help you… I can help you.”

“The Jedi cannot help me no more than they can help themselves, {Y/N}. Join me, together we can rule the galaxy-“ He takes a step towards you, hopeful. You back away, trying to increase the distance between you two.

“Ani…” You warn, raising your saber slightly. Your fingers tighten around the grip until your knuckles turn white. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “Whatever path this is, I cannot follow. For the sake of myself, the younglings-… I loved-“

“Then you’ve given me no choice.” His face darkens.

“Don’t try it.” You warn. His lightsaber hums to life and you nod to him. You return your saber to its hilt on your waist and take a deep breath.

“So be it.” You respond as he charges toward you. You do not move, but allow the saber to pierce your stomach. A small grunt of pain escapes your lips as he pulls the saber out, looking down as you collapse to your knees. Your clouded eyes search desperately for him. Anything that the Force would allow you to see, but nothing. He pushes you down to the floor with the tap of his foot before moving onward, leaving you for dead. Or so he thought.

I’m scared

I’ve never fallen from quite this high

Falling into your ocean eyes

#star wars #anakin skywalker #anakin Skywalker x reader #gender neutral reader #obi wan kenobi #star wars fanfiction #kenobi #anakin x reader #anakin imagine #tatooine #planet: coruscant #order 66 #darth Vader

[sharpth1ng]

I love love so much when Stu's sociopathy is actually explored. I feel like there's so much potential there and it's one of my favorite things to do. So I wanted to ask if there's specific things with his sociopathy that you think affect him yadda yadda

This is going to be annoying and pedantic (I’m sorry 🫣), but sociopath isn’t actually a clinical term- it used to be but there isn’t much evidence that it’s different from psychopathy, so psychopath is the clinical term that’s used.

Stu has many of the features of a psychopath, but I don’t think his empathy is quite that messed up, it’s just selective. I also think if he was a psychopath he wouldn’t be as submissive to Billy, they don’t tend to do that, they want total control and they DO NOT work well with others. I think Stu is best understood as having ADHD, as well as sadomasochistic tendencies and deep codependency with Billy.

He has impulse control issues and for sure and is a hybristophiliac, meaning he’s attracted to people who commit crimes. Aside from that being attached to Billy the way he is means he gets approval for the messed up things he does, which he already wants to do but having approval for it means he doesn’t need to process any pain he does cause. I don’t think he would have killed Tatum for example, but that became acceptable to him because Billy wanted it.

I think Stu likes power but not so much for it’s own sake like Billy does, I think he likes power because it lets him do what he wants without considering consequences. He likes to fight, likes the physical sensations of violence and being able to destroy something as he does when he hunts.

Hunting as well has made him desensitized to a certain level of pain and to the consequences of hurting something else, so he can be casual and uncaring about it like he is when he talks about Casey at the fountain.

I think he also just enjoys taboo things/things you aren’t supposed to do just because he likes breaking rules.

I hope this was interesting!

Edit: wanting to be clear here, I’m saying Stu isn’t a psychopath, he’s got other shit going on

#my messed up boy #Stu Macher #scream headcanons #ask

[its-monster-mash]

Look I have a million fic ideas but lack the commitment and time to follow through so here’s an Imagine where Billy and the Reader actually DESERVE Each-other (fair warning this is NOT my best work, but I just need to get it out lol)

College AU, Billy’s Ex!Reader (Stu/Billy/Toxic!Reader)

• You’d known Billy Loomis since you were children, and when you got older, you just naturally gravitated toward each other

• His parents didn’t like you, growing up on the “wrong” side of town, so to speak. They thought you were beneath them, and could only be a bad influence on their little rich boy. Never mind the impact they had on him.

• You didn’t have the best home life yourself, so it was easy for you to see what a cold bitch his mother was. He wouldn’t hear it though, always desperate to win a love that would never come.

• You had been there for him though; every-time he crawled teary eyed through your window, every time he tried his best and was never enough. He could never be enough for his mother, but he was ALWAYS enough for you. You and Stu were the only ones who ever saw him cry, he gave everyone else that cool exterior, the one he had picked up from the bitch who bore him.

• It didn’t surprise you at all when she left him behind. Billy couldn’t stand it. He was heartbroken, and you were never the best at sugar coating things. You told him it wasn’t his fault that bitch abandoned him, he told you it was over.

• You never knew he regretted it. He had started dating the daughter of the woman his father had cheated with, and you wrote him off. “Like Father like Son, I guess.” Fuck him.

• When you graduated, you moved way the hell out of town, wanting to put all that shit behind you; but when your Grandma died and left her house to you…well you’d be an idiot not to take it just because of some high school shit.

• Next Semester, you transferred to the college all the Woodsboros went to, and as you feared, all the old faces were here; like ghosts of a past come back to haunt you. Some of them recognized you, most either didn’t or didn’t care to, but there was one face you were happy to see.

• You didn’t notice when Stu first approached you, too busy glaring daggers into the back of Sidney Prescott’s head. He wasted no time making fun of you and the green-eyed monster.

• Even after all this time you still weren’t over him. Breaking up with you was a mistake. You knew it, he knew it, and Stu knew it. Billy had tried coming onto you, when he, you, and Stu had been hanging out at Stu’s place, but you had too much pride to be Second Place.

• “You want me to be your “Final Girl”, Loomis? Ditch the Bitch.” But he wouldn’t. Fuck him. Fuck him fuck him Fuck Him. He said she was too important, that he needed her. Fuck that.

• You were ready to write him off for good, when Stu came to you with a Plan. He confessed to you that he had been the Ghostface killer that had been terrorizing the town, however, leaving out Billy’s role in things. Before you had a chance to react, he asked you to join him for “One Last Kill”. One last kill, and the two of you would have your man back.

• You had always known about Billy and Stu, but Sidney didn’t. Stu spun you a story about how Billy dropped both of you when he got with little miss innocent. He lied to your face, about how Billy was trying to force normalcy in his life with Sidney.

• All the while, Stu was playing both sides. He was antagonizing Billy too, insisting they needed to Off Sid soon or Billy would lose you for good.

• On the big day, Billy saw Sid escape Stu, and he thought she was going to get away. He was shocked and confused when a third Ghostface put an axe through Sidney’s chest.

• That’s when you pulled off your mask. All the breath left Billy’s lungs, confusion and awe catching both of your tongues.

• Stu walks into the room, clapping and laughing at your stunned faces. “Don’t look at me like that, I think it’s about time we all Kiss and Make Up.”

#billy Loomis #billy loomis x reader #Stu matcher #Ghostface #Ghostface x reader #scream imagines #Ghostface imagines #Billy Loomis imagines #mypost

[hardestgrove]

it’s interesting to me to hear that dacre thinks billy wouldn’t hang out with the crew even if he got saved and things bc yeah that vibes but it also cements for me that of everyone in the main cast that we get he really would be friends with/closest to eddie.

like lbr, out of everyone in the cast he has the most in common with eddie just on paper. eddie’s also a loner/outsider type like billy, he’s just more personable which would help facilitate a friendship. i can actually see them hanging out and having shit to talk about you know? i struggle to do that with him and everyone else, even steve. and trust me i spend a lot of time behind the scenes sweating blood over how the steve-billy dynamic works because i do want it-- usually more in a platonic sense in my own case but that’s because i struggle to see the romantic end. but the reality is i struggle to find a common ground between those two characters that can then be used as a launching pad. they just don’t have a lot in common personality/background or interests wise were billy and eddie do. (i’ll also say having lots of similarity isn’t needed for a friendship/romance but having like 1 thing you both like is an excellent starting point. as it stands i have to work to find ways to get steve and billy in a room and talking which is you know, Work.)

i really think it’s a shame that the eddie fandom is largely dipshits at the moment because they’re missing out on something magical. i’m not even talking shipping. i love mungrove but like, i like it because they have a really solid sense of compatibility. they’ve got Those Two Guys™ energy. if billy and eddie are not best friends in your post s4 written fic then i just-- don’t know what to tell you. but to me that reads as so wrong because i cannot imagine a world where billy didn’t see a dude with a MASSIVE DIO PATCH ON HIS BACK and didn’t go “oh i fuck with this dude”.

and this isn’t an anti-post or anything. while i don’t really see harringrove i do respect it and those who are passionate about it. i just think that mungrove and the potential friendship between billy and eddie is underrated and at times even looked at poorly because of the situation with eddie’s fans atm. which i get. it’s hard to like eddie for some people because of how the fandom treats him vs how they treat billy and how he’s basically used as a hammer against us billy fans and the harringrove comm.

but i also think it’s important to step back, do our best to block out the haters and dipshits and look objectively at eddie as a character. because when i do that i am literally looking at billy’s new best friend. and billy needs and deserves all the best friends. and also the fact is that like 90% of the eddie and steddie fandoms are not even fucking accurately writing eddie. which is so fucking insulting to us eddie fans who you know, like him and see him as he IS.

eddie is not a replacement billy, he’s not a “more socially acceptable” billy. he’s a complimentary force to billy. he’s billy’s ideal sidekick. he’s a weird little freak of a metalhead who can shred like a GOD and has a huge heart. he’s less aggressive or confrontational but he WILL hold a bottle to someone who he thinks is a threat to him. he’s extremely brave when it comes to doing right by others, he cares deeply. if eddie had known billy in s3 he would’ve been championing to save him. he would’ve died trying to save him if he had to. he literally put his life on the line for chrissy who he barely knew just because it was Right in his mind to get justice for her. imagine what he would do for a friend?

steddie is another ship that i don’t inherently dislike but i struggle to see because there’s really nothing in common there to work with. the more i see of the ship and how it’s portrayed by the majority atm the more i don’t think these people actually understand eddie. he’s not an uwu quirky weirdo baby. he’s literally a criminal, he’s ready and willing to commit violence if he needs to, he’s got a huge amount of undiagnosed and untreated issues that are ruining his life, he’s an INCREDIBLY strong personality and most people don’t like him for a reason. he doesn’t give a shit about like 90% of the stuff the rest of the cast cares about. he and steve have completely opposite outlooks and life goals.

It’s very frustrating to me to see the billy-eddie dynamic largely overlooked but i know why it’s happening. it’s also very frustrating to me to see eddie so blatantly fucked up by the fandom and then see others not want to engage with his actual character because of the negative connotations with the assholes in the larger community. like billy’s already canonically had a friend like eddie in the past we meet him in runaway max. his name is sid and he’s a punk dude and he’s very sweet. he shows max a whole magazine of guitars.

tl;dr : billy and eddie would 100000000% be best friends and anyone who thinks otherwise needs to take a moment to really clear their head of biases and look again at what we actually know about these characters and the context they’d be meeting in.

#meta #mungrove #billy hargrove #eddie munson #another post i should cut but refuse to cut

[sailoreuterpe]

First Line Ask Game! Rules: List the first lines of the last ten stories you published (or works in progress if you’re feeling brave lol). See if you or others notice any patterns!

(For this game, I included the first paragraph of each fanfiction. I skipped any fandom ship week stories or else more than half of my list would have been just those. I also completely missed “A Commit-y of Marriers” on my first rundown so I’ve included that work as a bonus. ACoM the only fanfiction on my list that’s still ongoing, so it can be its own little category.)

Billy carries the dog off into the field, fully intending to take care of the problem. Fast and kindly. Free Miss Longabaugh of the worry. She has enough on her plate without the others complaining. - The Guy Who Got Flustered

Now what should we do?” Mamoru asks the other brunette as the crystal door silently slides shut behind Usagi. Seiya looks over at him, zer eyes narrowed. The grin on zer face is positively ecstatic and a little manic. Mamoru groans softly. “Seiya, no.” - When Usagi’s Not Home

The next time that Teddy sees his navy buddies, Bob and Linda do hold his hands. In fact, Linda is the one to grab Teddy’s hand first, deliberately and with a smile that glints a little feral. Bob is less showy–of course; it’s Bob–but his grip is no less tight. - I Wanna (Cargo) Hold Your Hand

Jimmy isn’t Linda. Even if he wasn’t such a fucking asshole and an egotistical shithead, he wouldn’t be Linda. Linda is–was…was– - He Isn’t You and that Cuts Me Through

Teddy knows that the Belchers love him. He’s known since before Bob and Linda even started dating him; even when Teddy could have never dreamed that they might love him romantically, he still knew that the whole family cared about him as their friend. They’re all so awesome that they can smash through Teddy’s significant insecurities...most days. - Unforgettable, Too

Louise notices the change first. She’s had Chloe in a headlock for long enough that the redhead should be passed out. Chloe, for her part, is still too angry to care that her perfectly-painted talons aren’t doing shit to Louise. Not any more. And they aren't even breaking on Louise's skin like usual. - Fate and Sole-Mates

The feel of Linda’s calloused hands on Teddy’s bare back isn’t sexy. Sure, he’s had a very minor, very tiny crush on his friend for some time. But right now, there’s nothing titillating about Linda’s hands on his skin as she stabilizes herself against him to draw a bad tattoo design to show to his mother. - Your Hands on My Back (They Give Me a Heart Attack)

Tina assumes that her first date with Zeke will be pretty similar to her first–official–date with Jimmy Junior. And every subsequent first date in Tina’s life. - Let’s Give ‘em Something to Taco ‘Bout

Louise sends Logan a selfie, spread out on the bed, in nothing but her shorts and beanie. There’s a bottle of beer in her hand and various snacks conspicuously placed. Specifically things that Logan hates (like her weird Japanese candy that costs an arm and a leg at the import store). - Girl'z Staycation

Jimmy Junior is awkward and weird. So is Tina. He dances out his emotions. Tina writes out hers. Jimmy Junior can be blunt and kind of mean. Tina gets called out for saying stuff out loud that apparently she’s not even supposed to think. - Quirky Turkey and Peculiar Pig

They woke up as if it were any other day. Linda’s eyes popped open and she grinned, but none of that was special. Most dawns saw Linda Belcher grinning and greeting the sun, her ability to see the best in every moment only occasionally dampened by too much alcohol or life-threatening emergencies. - A Commit-y of Marriers

Alright, here are some general observations. I’m glad to see the spread of fandoms, including one of my oldest, one of my newest, and one that I’m not really in but the material called to me. I only wish that I had a "Pacific Rim" story more recently. I’m pleased to see a range of “Bob’s Burgers” ships (two each for Bob, Tina, and Louise) although I need to write more Gene ship-work. The poor guy doesn’t get enough love in my writing. Many of these pieces are gifts, which makes me smile. I really do love my polyamory, lol. I need to finish the next chapter of ACoM, but I’m having minor writer’s block about a specific scene. Once I’m over that hurdle, the chapter will flow fine. Finally, I enjoy writing in the first-person present tense.

#THANK YOU AS USUAL BABS! #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fic #fan fiction #writing #writers #authors #literature #reading #readers #ask game #ask meme #Notes by Nikki #The Askalator #asks #answered #Bob's Burgers #BB #Sailor Moon #SailorMoon #bssm #pgsm #sm #OT #OT3: BLT Burgers #tinimmy #zekina #louigan #chloise

[dollettelqver]

billy loomis x fem! reader headcanons ♡

fluff & slight angst ♡

♡ billy’s never been a big fan of pda. being more on the emotionally unavailable and unable to manage his feelings side of things, he definitely prefers to keep the ‘lovey-dovey’ stuff private.

♡ he would not give up his plan on partnering with stu, killing people, and most importantly; killing sydney, at any costs. this man has had this mapped out and planned for longer than you can imagine. if you don’t like it, you’re gonna have to get used to it or suck it up, because he’s not going to change his murderous ways for you. this being said, he’s never going to hurt you. And if he does, just for you, he knows he would regret it.

♡ he’s definitely the jealous type, but he doesn’t immediately speak out about it. he waits until he can get that person alone and probably tells them that he’ll gut them like a fish if they don’t quit talking to you.

♡ when it comes to his past or trauma, it’s most definitely a vulnerable subject for him. and billy doesn’t like being vulnerable, not at all. But when things get really bad, or after he commits another killing, he’ll climb your window and he’ll cry into your arms until you conceal him. he’d never make a routine of this, though. it’s a rare thing for him. and after it, he’s back to his shenanigans.

♡ being a psychopath, he’s most definitely day dreamed about different ways he could gut you or kill you or overall tear you to pieces. but he doesn’t necessarily mean to think about it. it just naturally comes to him. he’ll immediately start feeling guilty, because he knows he’ll never hurt you. he’d never actually go through with it. he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

(these are all that i came up with. i’m working on some fanfics for billy n some other characters but they aren’t finished yet, i hope u enjoy and i’ll be writing some more headcanons soon :3)

#scream #scream franchise #billy loomis #ghostface #scream 1996 #headcanon

[ellewritesandrants]

I swear I’m not that obsessed with Omega Billy but what about an a/b/o AU where being flayed worked differently and the reason Billy was chosen was because Henry wanted to form a gigantic pack to basically enslave all of Hawkins? He initially stole Will because he was going to be an omega too but when he realized that he couldn’t form pack bonds yet, he bided his time until he found William Hargrove, an omega in hiding who was strong enough to be his omega. 

Since it wouldn’t make sense for him to kill his packmates off, they’re more of glorified zombies and when Billy is freed from the Mindflayer, so is everyone else and they help him defeat it. Because of the pack bonds and the hive mind, they share each other’s memories and for the ones that lived, they become exceedingly protective over their pack omega. They deal with Neil Hargrove and they all get pretty big payouts from the government to keep it a secret but they know how Henry’s mind works and his story. They know he’ll be coming back for Hawkins and for Billy and they’ll stop at nothing to protect their omega.

I’m not sure if I can commit to an actual fic since it’s a complete season 3 and season 4 rewrite but I might be tempted to outline how I would want this to go.

#billy hargrove #billy deserved better #billy hargrove deserved better #billy hargrove au #ellewritesandrants #billy hargrove redemption #stranger things rewrite #omega billy hargrove #tw a/b/o

[avabananas13]

Why Did It Have to Be Me? (Ch. 4)

Eddie Munson x Fem!Mayfield!Reader

Summary:  Summer break was hell after your step-brother Billy died, you and your sister Max both falling into a depression. Now you’re entering your senior year at Hawkins High and are trying to get back out there and get some friends other than Steve and Robin. Who knew one of those new friends would be resident ‘freak’ Eddie Munson.

Warnings: 18+, mentions of sex, language, divorce, mentions of seeing a parent struggle, quickly proofread, there might be more that I missed

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: Hi guys! I’m so sorry for the wait for chapter 4! I got really busy and when I wasn’t busy I was having some serious writers block. I finally had the words flowing through me and was able to get another chapter out for y’all. I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter because I think it might be one of my favorites so far. Also let me know if you want on the taglist! Love you guys and enjoy!

Taglist: @ynmunson

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

You lay there, in Eddies bed, awake for most of the night thinking about everything. You figured out the following:

You really like Eddie

You really like having sex with Eddie

You aren’t ready to commit to a relationship

This is the most comforted you’ve ever felt with your head resting on his bare chest

You wished that Eddie would sleep the rest of the day so you wouldn’t have to talk about last nights event but eventually he would. While you layed there with him, you came up with things to say to him. You guys couldn’t just not talk about this. You kind of did last night when you told him you didn’t want to date anyone, but it was possible you changed your mind in that time. You haven’t changed it though, and that’s why you need to talk.

Eddie woke up around 10 that morning, which is early for him. You knew he was awake when you felt his hand rubbing up and down your arm as you continued to lay on his chest. You couldn’t help but smile at the action. 

Maybe dating Eddie wouldn’t be that bad. We could totally make it work.

No, no. You had seen your mom go through 2 nasty divorces. The first with your dad. Your parents were madly in love, until they weren’t. You still remember the nights you would be trying to sleep and having to listen to their scream match downstairs. Then one day, your dad just moved out. 

Your dad really did love you and Max, there was no doubt about that considering he wanted you to continue living with him in California. You would’ve happily accepted too if it weren’t for your mom having full custody and rejecting that offer. 

After the events of the summer you really started to question wether or not you should’ve pushed to stay with your dad or not. You came to the conclusion that this was the best possible thing. This way, Max wasn’t alone. She had you. 

Your moms second divorce was just as hard, if not harder. Neil had became an even bigger ass after the death of Billy. Losing a child is hard, but that didn’t mean he had to take it out on your mom, or Max, or you. You were glad when he left. Your mom never deserved him. Your mom on the other hand wasn’t as glad as you and your sister. You had to move to the trailer park, she picked up a second shitty job, and on top of that developed a drinking problem. 

Things did not go the way your mom had life planed. She wanted to stay with your dad. She wanted the white picket fence in a nice suburban neighborhood. She wanted to be there for you and Max. She wanted so many things that didn’t work out. You didn’t want the life your mom has. You love your mom and admire her strength but you wanted bigger things and nobody was going to hold you back. Not even a boy you could definitely be developing feelings for. 

It sounds sad. Forcing yourself into a spinster life. No husband and no kids, forever alone in your giant manor with 50 cats. That’s what you want though. Ok maybe not the giant manor and 50 cats but you can’t be held back and if that means being single and lonely forever, then so be it. You don’t want your life to be ruined, as your mom was proof of what could happen after 2 divorces. You no longer believed in true love. That was a lie made up long ago so kids would want to grow up to get married and have lots of babies. That shit didn’t work on you. Your happy with your decision. You just hope nothing will change that. 

Eddies awake. Your pulled out of your thoughts when you feel him wrap his arms around you. This is starting to feel real. You don’t want this to be real. You know you need to just bite the bullet and start this very serious, possibly relationship ruining conversation before you throw all of your goals and aspirations away for some guy. But he isn’t just some guy. He’s Eddie. No, no, no. You can’t keep doing this. You just need to rip the band-aid off.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asks. Did Eddie just start the conversation you’ve been dreading since last night? Yes, he did. He could tell you looked anxious and like you needed to say something so he took matters into his own hands. Even though he knew it would pain him to hear how you weren’t interested in dating, he just wants you to be happy.

“Yes, please. If you don’t mind?” you say in a soft voice.

“Of course, sweetheart. We should talk about this, about us.” Us. You love the way he says that. Us. You and Eddie, Eddie and you. This is going to hurt more than you thought it would. 

“Eddie, I really like you. I told you that last night. But, I’m not sure,” you say cautiously so you don’t hurt his feelings, “I never pictured myself actually dating someone. I don’t know how to commit myself to someone else. Seeing where my mom is at in life, I can’t have that. I’m not going to let that happen to me. I like you, a lot, but I can’t be something that I know you want me to be” you feel your heart shatter at the words you say to the boy you had an amazing time with last night. 

“Princess,” he says smiling, “I don’t want you to be something you’re not. I know you don’t want to commit yourself to someone. That’s why I was serious last night when I suggested a friends with benefits thing. Last night was-”

“Incredible?” you chime in.

“Yeah, incredible. And I want to keep having incredible nights with you even if it means as your friend.” You smile at his kind words. Eddie was giving up on having a real relationship with you because you didn’t want to commit to him. You don’t deserve him. 

“You’re sure? Like you are totally ok with us just having sex?” you ask, just to double check you’re hearing him right.

“No,” he says without hesitation and your heart starts breaking, “because, we aren’t just going to have sex. You and I? Yeah, we’re friends. Ok? You have to promise me that we will still be friends.” You nod with a smile on your face. You can’t believe this. Eddie is agreeing to being fuck buddies and continue being friends. “I promise, Eddie. Of course I promise. Thank you for understanding,” you say nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck and wrapping your arms around him tightly. You lay in bed together the rest of the day.

//////

Eddie had invited you to sit in on his next Hellfire campaign and you happily agreed. Throughout the school week you exchanged glances, had some conversations here and there, but outside of school you’ve been at his place almost everyday. Not even having sex, just enjoying being around one another. You really were friends and being friends with him made you beyond happy.

“Hey sweetheart, did you want a ride to Hellfire tonight?” Eddie asks you as you are both hanging out by your locker. 

“Yeah! That’d be great Eds, thanks!” you replied, bringing him into a hug which he quickly reciprocated. 

“Sure thing, sweet thing” he said, walking away with a sly wink. You just rolled your eyes and giggled to yourself as you watched him walk off to his next class, or towards the door to ditch his next class. 

You walked over to Eddies around 5 to head back to school for tonights “epic” game, Eddies words not yours. You knocked on the door to his trailer and almost instantly the door opened, startling you. You jumped back placing your hand over your chest to catch the breath that had left your body.

“Sorry sweetheart, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Eddie said, seeing you clearly weren’t expecting him to open the door so quick. 

“It’s fine Eds, just got spooked is all,” you respond, shaking your head.

He nods his head towards the van, signaling for you to pile in so you can go spend your Friday night at school. You were excited though, really. Eddie would always talk about Hellfire and how amazing his party is. You’re not familiar with d&d but you do know that Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and Will would play it all the time, now you usually see it’s just Dustin and Mike playing. You were always curious about it though, it seems like the boys always had a lot of fun playing it. You also heard all about the demogorgan and of course the mind flayer over the summer. You figured you might as well see what all the hype is about.

You’re almost certain Eddie forgot to tell the party that you would be joining tonight because as soon as Eddie walked in with you their eyes widened and jaws went slack. 

“Y/N? What the hell are you doing here?” Dustin blurted.

“Yeah, you don’t play d&d. We tried.” Mike says, annoyed that you’ve just now decided to partake in the game after their multiple attempts. 

“Well my little sheepies, Y/N here is going to be joining us tonight. I’m a lot more convincing than the both of you little shits,” Eddie said teasing the boys. You giggle at the interaction between them. Eddie goes around introducing you to the other boys, Gareth, Jeff, and another you didn’t quite catch the name of. “So boys, are we gonna play or sit and stare at the beautiful princess?” you could feel your cheeks turning a bright red at Eddies compliment which your not even sure he did on purpose as he is a constant flirt. 

You didn’t play that night. Eddie offered to show you how to play and earlier in the week he even asked if you wanted him to make you a character sheet. First, you wanted to make sure you liked the game before you started to waste his time, even though he would love for you to waste his time. You sat in a chair right next to Eddies throne during the entire 4 hours they played. 

Once the time hit 9:30 and they got to an interesting stopping point, they decided to wrap it up for the night as the younger boys were already out past their 9 o’clock curfew. Since Eddie was your ride you helped him clean up after all the other guys left.

“So, wasn’t that just as epic as I promised?” Eddie questioned you playfully.

“That was definitely something,” you say with a giggle. You did actually have a great time. You really wanted Eddie to help you prepare for next Friday so you could play with the rest of them. Hellfire turned out to be something you never thought you would enjoy but your glad you got dragged along. 

You and Eddie head back to the trailer park, blasting music on the way, just enjoying each others company. Eddie pulls up to his trailer and you guys sit there to listen to the rest of the song. Once it finishes you place your hand on the doorhandle bidding Eddie a goodnight.

“Goodnight sweetheart,” Eddie says and then quickly leans in and pecks your lips. You sit there in shock just for a moment. Sure, Eddie has kissed you multiple times but never like that. This kiss was a goodnight kiss, a I’ll talk to you later kiss, a boyfriend kiss. It just broke your heart more and more knowing Eddie probably wasn’t actually ok with this arrangement you guys had going on but he didn’t want to push you. All Eddie wants is for you to be happy and you reminding yourself that is the only thing keeping you sane. 

You decided to ignore the kiss and just act natural. Maybe Eddie didn’t even realize he did it, which he didn’t realize he kissed you until he was laying in bed that night. You hop out of the van, give him a quick smile and you start the very short trek back to your place. Once you reach the door, something in you decides to look back at him and you’re glad that you do. When you look back you see Eddie Munson at his front door, also looking back to you with the most perfect and loveliest smile in the world.

You go to bed that night thinking of Eddie Munson. You think about how understanding he is. You think about how gorgeous he is. You think about how gentle he is. When you close your eyes that night, you see the image of him smiling at you from his front door and you begin to subconsciously smile at the thought of him. You know you’re hurting Eddie, even if he refuses to believe it, but you’re starting to wonder if this is hurting you too. It feels almost impossible to be “just friends” with him when you’re… when you’re… fuck it. You are in love with Eddie Munson.

“Shit.”

#eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x mayfield!reader #eddie munson x reader #friends to lovers #max mayfield #dustin henderson #mike wheeler #fwb #fwb to lovers

[chocolate-teapots]

Wasted Love: Alec Newbury

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

You helped Alec a little too much with his 

                 broken marriage.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Warnings: smut, broken marriage, cheating, swearing, angst.

Alec had a very complex relationship with the concept of cheating.

As an extreme non-commital, I always knew his relationship with the lovely Leslie would go downhill but I didn't think it would happen that fast. I thought they would've at least gotten married first.

You see, Alec told me on many occasions that if he got married, he would no longer fuck all of these women because he had something worth holding onto, something to control him. All of the gang, including me, knew that was true. Still, the guilt in his eyes when he'd tell me about the receptionist he screwed from work would win me over just that little bit. I hated the fact I believed in him.

Not him, but in him.

I knew so much since Alec couldn't trust the other guys really. I had never been a girl figure in the group, just someone who was there for everyone, someone to organise things, the smart one, the wise one, the one who didn't say much but didn't really have to. It was also the fact that the others were so self-destructive.

Billy was a handsome, fun guy who would always make your own problem his problem as a part of his caring nature. The problem in that problem was that he had many of them himself, that he was ignoring on purpose. You were his excuse.

Jules had a lot to deal with and she kept this stuffed behind her charming façade. If you had a problem, she would be fine with it but not if it wasn't life-threatening since her cynical and joking advice would prove less effective in the long run. She's unfortunately dramatic and reckless so she can be unreliable.

Kirby was cute and probably the least offensive of the bunch but he thinks to make a tense situation okay again you just have to crack a few jokes unless it was a scenario about the woman he was in love with. Dale.

Wendy was too innocent to understand both sides of the argument. To understand a situation such as Alec's you had to understand the true heart of desire you know but she couldn't. She was a virgin.

Kevin was the most likely candidate being smart, an asshole but too hung up on his own self-pity and also the meaning of life. He was always trying to philosophise every moment and wasn't truly present unless it was all fun and games. Plus, I knew he was in love with Leslie and the reason they broke up was that they fucked.

Or was that just the result?

Leslie was sweet and smart-mouthed but she was the fucking problem.

"She just keeps asking for her records back all the time! She keeps waddling over in her heels and sexy skirt and asking me for her things. I mean, I'm trying to get over her here but all I can do is think of excuses to see her!"

And that's exactly why I had to take the blows.

"So I think of an excuse to see her but what do I see? One of my greatest friends since school in between her fucking legs which might I add was further than I ever got!"

I watch him pace in a fluster across my apartment. His shirt was unbuttoned and he was tugging at it and throwing away pieces of his suit on the ground. He kept running his hands through his dark hair covering some rosy cheeks. I gulped.

"Look man all you need to do is chill for now. Give it time. Talk to both of them and ask, is it more? If it is you might have to be the bigger man and step away. This isn't your final year of life and plus love isn't the most important thing."

He huffs, slowing down his pace and standing over me finally. "You're right, you're right."

He admits defeat, understanding my words and calming down. The sofa I'm casually sitting on sinks as he joins me by my side, head on my shoulder and tickling my neck. I allow our heads to touch with my lips pouting in a little pity.

"I know it's my fault."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't otherwise you wouldn't be so angry."

He shoots up as if I sent an electric current through my body to his. He glares at me, brown eyes dissecting my face. He loves to preach how much of an adult he is to everyone and when his adulthood is challenged, he gets angry.

"What would you know? You've never loved anyone. You wouldn't know what it's like to see your best friend with someone you trusted!"

I sigh, shaking my head at his hurt. I knew that feeling well...

"Alec my love, you need to realise that you fucking all these other women, faceless they may be, still counts as cheating and what you and Leslie had counted as marriage. Some people go their whole lives without marriage but it's enough, it's never just dating. It's always more. You took advantage of this ideal of marriage. Deep down you knew you were never gonna stop. But, you can't even admit that because you saw how happy she was under him!"

He grabs my arms, pulling me to my feet so he can intimidate me with his flaring nostrils and crazy eyes. My heart races.

"How dare you think about me that way! You don't know anything other than what I've told you. You don't have the right to judge my life because you don't really care about us."

"You're right."

His eyes narrow, Alec is confused.

"I don't care about the gang, I care about you."

Before I knew it I was being lured just like those girls at work, just like those stupid girls who are stupid enough to believe sex equals love. It doesn't.

All I did was kiss him and he throws me on my couch harshly, mounting me and stripping us both.

I kiss him feverishly and he returns each of them just like I had dreamt. His bare body presses into my own and suddenly he enters me in one movement. Not only do I feel physically fuller but the one thing I had been missing as I was growing up, something they couldn't teach you in school had been filled by my best friend. I was pulling a Leslie right now and so was he.

And, like a drunken blur that was the last thing I could remember before I woke up the next morning. After the first round, he carried me to my bed which is where we stayed for the rest of that long night.

I wake up in my bed but I can feel something is different like when you buy a new lamp for your room or you wear new pyjamas. This time I was completely naked apart from the fragrant shirt covering my decency. I had never been so grateful for shirts in my life.

Alec is next to me, assessing his own damage and we both shoot up, not looking at each other in the eye. I run towards my side of the room, gathering the trail of clothes leading to the starting point and wearing them despite the sweat. He does the same. I don't look at him but I can see him glancing at me.

Like he hadn't seen me fully naked I carefully removed his shirt and throw it back to him.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck..."

We chant in unison, a mutual pair of fuck-ups.

I'm standing in my jeans and my bra when I just really breathe in the realism of the situation and laugh at myself and scoff at him.

"I can't believe I fell for that Alec serial fuck thing," my hands were on my hips, challenging him in disbelief.

I honestly couldn't believe it. I never thought it would happen and I didn't think I would go through with it. i was a terrible friend to both parties.

"Woah, this wasn't my fault. You pulled my hair! You know what that does to me and you know it!" he begins to yell in his underwear and unbuttoned shirt, pointing at me with a veiny finger.

I march towards him, poking his stupidly perfect chest with my veiny finger.

"My fault? You practically pounced on me!" I was so enraged and disappointed at this point but it was mostly at myself, as much as I hated to admit it.

"Pounced on you. Original. This wouldn't have happened if you didn't give me those fuck me eyes," he towers over me, a tall shadow turning my whole world black and looking into those eyes that killed him that night.

"These are my normal eyes, Alec, I can't have a fucking eye transplant with a virgin."

His head dips lower, practically overlooking my scalp he's so tall.

"Oh please, you were eating me up because you love me."

I bite my lip, feeling the tears start to flow at how little he cares about me to just throw that sentence in my face without a thought, a touch or even a tear.

"Maybe I do alright?" I cry, looking down and moving away once he goes to answer me and reaches out.

"Did- do. I don't know..."

I put on my button-up shirt, making sure to do the top one up since I felt so dirty and vulgar at that moment. I had never imagined doing anything like that in real life, that was a dream sequence. People don't just fuck their broken best friends.

"I'm not gonna run away with you for a fuckfest or anything after you and Leslie just broke up. This cannot go any further and I'm glad you finally got your head out of Leslie's ass to acknowledge me."

"I'm sorry," he stutters, the fear of me walking out that door for good haunting his mind despite it being my apartment.

I knew in that group I didn't really matter. They wouldn't care if I went. Just a little chuckle that would come up every now and then like a dead teacher but that was all.

"Don't be sorry. I've given you all the advice you need but know this, she doesn't want you anymore. She's gone Alec and who was the first person to pick you up after you fell- me. Stop waiting for her Alec because she's gone and will never look back for you."

"Harsh," he swallows a couple of tears but some were too strong and stained his light blue shirt piercingly.

I grab my car keys and throw on some shoes and a jacket. stopping abruptly when he cries.

"If that's how you really feel then consider my feelings dead but my 10-year ache for you will never die."

#80s movie #80s imagines #st elmo's fire #alecnewbury #judd nelson

[writerwhowritesao3]

🚑💍👗

Thanks for the prompt!!!

🚑 was answered here! Rest under the cut:

💍 Would he do the proposing, or be proposed to? 

Here’s the thing: when Billy and Steve first fall in love, they don’t think that they’ll ever be able to get married. They think the closest they’ll get is to be mutually committed and devoted to each other and live together in their own place. Basically be married to each other without the official paperwork. 

And they do that! They’re able to get their own apartment together when Billy is 18 and Steve is 19. They’ve been madly in love since before they even officially started their relationship, so they have that covered. 

In 1993, they’re living in New York City. They’ve been living there for awhile and it’s now their home. In 1993, Mayor David Dinkins signed an executive order that created a city-wide domestic partnership registry that granted *some* rights to unmarried couples—including same-sex couples.

There is no proposal. They have both said to each other, many times, that they are in this for the long haul. They are in this together forever, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer. So...they mutually make the decision to register as domestic partners. It’s not marriage, but it is something. 

They don’t have a wedding. But they do have an “intimate celebration” with their close friends—Nancy, Jonathan, Robin, Eddie, Chrissy (fuck canon, both of them live, goddamnit), all the kids, plus Joyce and Hopper—and families (Steve’s parents, Susan, and Max). Plus the friends that Billy and Steve made in New York, who are all in the LGBTQ community. Plus Steve’s aunt and uncle and cousins on his mother’s side...plus Susan’s mother, sister, brother-in-law, and their two children, who had accepted Billy into their family from the start, when Susan married Neil (and, honestly, they always liked Billy more than they liked his father...). 

The celebration is really lovely. Photos are taken, there’s music, Billy and Steve exchange rings (it’s just symbolic, okay?) their nearest and dearest make toasts to the couple...

Okay, fuck it—it’s a wedding. They have a wedding. 

They get legally married in 2011, the week it becomes legal in New York. Again, there’s no proposal. There’s not even really a discussion about it beyond “is this day convenient for both of us to pick up the marriage license?” 

They don’t need to propose to each other. They both know that they’re committed for life.

👗 Do you think when he was a little boy he’d play dress up in his mom’s dresses and shoes? If yes, how did both parents react? 

Honestly...no. He put on some of her eyeshadow a couple of times, but he didn’t try on his mom’s dresses and shoes (if for no other reason than because they were way too big for him). He’s like...4 or 5 when he does this. Maybe even 6.

I feel like Billy was kind of androgynous as a kid? Like neither totally masculine nor feminine. Kind of a combination of both? 

His mom is...not thrilled. She’s not angry and she doesn’t tell him that it’s wrong for boys to wear makeup, but she does tell him that he can’t tell anyone about this. And that he especially can never let his dad know. Ever. She tells him that it would be best if he stopped playing with makeup altogether. 

So he stops. Because Mommy knows best and Daddy is very scary when he’s mad.

When he’s 12, he lets Max paint his nails with some cheap polish she got at a birthday party. They’re home alone and Neil wouldn’t be getting out of work until late that night. 

But Neil comes home early and catches them in the ~disgusting~ act of putting paint on fingernails. He backhands Billy so hard it leaves a bruise. Billy knows that if Susan didn’t walk in the front door soon after Neil did, the beating he would have gotten would have been...memorable. 

#asks #anon asks #harringrove #Billy Hargrove #steve harrington #Max Mayfield #neil hargrove #susan hargrove #billy hargrove's mother