#I'm feeling very very disconnected to the 'me' that can write anything at all at the moment

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know multiple of these are likely important to people, but I'm asking in terms of like - which of these do you tend to focus on the MOST, enjoy the most, that is most essential for you to actually care about the media, etc.?

(For example: someone finding "Relatability" most important would likely not enjoy a show much if they have trouble empathizing with the characters/relating to it, even if it were good otherwise. Or, someone might be able to overlook bad acting and ugly costumes, as long as the Character Dynamics are fun to them, because they value that more than Aesthetics- while for others, bad costumes would be a dealbreaker.)

Also feel free to reblog and explain your answer or more information in the tags- I've always been curious about people's relationships to media, how they conceptualize it/what they get out of it, how some people value some parts more than others, how that informs their overall taste and genres they may be more inclined towards, etc. :0c

#I was having a conversation with a friend about our favorite type of media and they said the reason they DON'T like historical or fantasy #media or etc. is because they can't imagine themselves being in those situations like it's too detached from anything that they can relate #to personally. they put themselves in the shoes of the characters and apparently like feel emotions while watching stuff and actually #get into the way the characters are feeling so they kind of judge how 'good' or 'bad' a show's writing/setting/etc. are by how it makes #them feel and if they think the characters reacted realistically based on what they were feeling in the moment/what in their head they #would be feeling if they were in the postion of the character. SO apparently the distance of it being in an unrelatable setting or too #detached from our reality makes it harder for them to relate to and less able to really engage with it on that level. WHEREAS I watch #things exclusively in a very like.. detached way?? I'm INTERESTED.. it's like im intellectually analyzing everyhting that's happening and #can be intrigued by events but it's not in an emotional way? More of like a distant 'intellectual curiosity'. Maybe the premise or the #aesthetics or something about it has piqued an interest for me to observe it. to see what it's like or how it plays out. how the idea #is executed or etc. But like.. I cannot remember EVER really relating to any character or situation or projecting onto a character #or having those sorts of feelings or investment in it. That is just not a central part of why/how I watch things or what I care about #BUT after this I was thinking maybe this is my disconnect? I do not seem to conceptualize media the way some other people do and I often #walk away with an entirely different take on things. etc. So I wonder if maybe it's part of how everyone values different things probably? #maybe I literally just watch stuff and percieve it from a different frame of mind that others. More of a like detached curiosity #vaguely bemused analysis mode. Instead of a 'I am deeply emotionally invested in this and am feeling for all the characters' mode #And also I bet people who care more about plot/story are also the people who mind spoilers. Whereas for me I literally seek out spoilers #intentionally because that element of 'suprise ooh what will happen next!' is not central at all to my enjoyment. I could know literally #everything that will happen and still can find it interesting to observe - since for me #that's not the point. I'd rather know the ending so I can determine whether I want to invest the time in it in the first place. etc. #ANYWAY!! If I had to choose - I would say I'm usually heavily focused on world details and aesthetics. With only a slight preference #towards characters individually being interesting. Group dynamics can sometimes be okay but I get tired of everything being about relations #hips and romance - especially when sometimes it seems to be like. people who could not stand on their own as a character/are fundamentally #boring otherwise lol. I would watch a series of just one guy locked in a closet talking to himself as long as he was interesting and saying #things that were amusing or notable for some reason lol. I actually tend to dislike plot because most 'plot heavy' things like action focus #ed shows ALWAYS feel to me like they're moving so fast just to get from one thing to another that I'm not getting enough details. Part of #why I tend to not like movies. the time limit makes them too quick. I need a 95 hour expostion dump of the history of the entire world #and a series of 17 episodes straight where a guy is trapped in a room & the audience is just psychoanalyzing him. hghj.. Maybe I find all #characters annoying/unrelatable bc people w my personality type make bad characters/are not often represented (or are done BADLY). so then #I'm just picking 'who is the LEAST insufferable? who could i study like a lab rat?' whilst my main focus is the worldbuilding&costumes lol

[loumauve]

-

#running face first straight into every single rejection sensitive wall atm and it's so frustrating #like. can we just not do this rn brain? I'm too tired to deal with this on top of everything else #all it does is make me alienate myself from people I care about and make me feel like shit afterwards #and it doesn't fix any of the underlying issues either. (like. I've been upset about ppl not doing what I do) #(as in read all of my fic like I try to read all my friends' fic usually. but like.. not everyone can and not everyone wants to) #(but it's one of those irrational things of 'if they cared about me wouldn't they also try' even tho that's not a fair ask) #(and like.. most people don't read random fic for fandoms they're not even in so this is entirely stupid to be upset about) #(but here we are anyway) #just.. me. raw to the very nerve and too tired to fix anything that might help alleviate it #I just want to feel normal again. and like I have control over my emotional state #but between 'dude fucked up bc of his borderline being triggered by grief and letting out all his frustrations on me for weeks' #and 'other dude grieving but not processing and not even taking a break to figure out where he's at emotionally.. #..therefore dropping all of his unprocessed baggage and his part of the group work right on top of me' I'm just having a heck of a month #and idk. it would have been nice to talk to sb about my fic even if it's older now and not the best perhaps #(doesn't help when everybody you know writes really great fic and you're just outside the door scribbling some ideas into the sand) #idk. usually I do better in disconnecting self-worth and accomplishments and stop myself before the comparisons with others start #but rn it's all too much and I'm drained and exhausted and nothing feels good or helps much at all. #anyway. #it is what is I guess. and what it is is fucked and I doubt it's gonna change anytime soon. #that's not me being unrealistic or depression talking. it's based on how things have progressed thus far #there's another year and a half of this kind of stress which will likely get worse when our group grows from 18 to 31 in October #and then I'd have to start working proper again which I haven't in over two years bc of all the rehabilitation I've been going through #and it's terrifying and I'm already exhausted and worn down and worn out and I just don't know how normal is ever gonna be my life again

[omar-rudeberg]

If you’re willing, drop a line from your WIP out of context.

“... showing me it’s a possibility for me to love you. And, somehow, perhaps more importantly, for me to love me.

“The tattoo of you has been cast on my sleeve now, darling. The ink mark of our open hearts etched together on my sword arm has set.”

from the long-teased and still not complete third part in my follow through series, which will hopefully see the light of day before christmas oops

#I've seen you doing the rounds dear nonny and hope this adds to your collection hehe #I'm feeling very very disconnected to the 'me' that can write anything at all at the moment #so not that I'm fishing but I'm fishing for some reason to continue to do so 🫠 #young royals #young royals fanfiction #wedding vows (spoiler alert heh) #wilmon #ask #anon #fic #ooooh also who is saying this ???? take a guess this will be a fun game

[rollercoasterwords]

the tiktokification of ao3

or: some of you fundamentally misunderstand ao3 and it really, really shows

i was talking about this with a friend a few days ago and since then i've seen multiple posts of various sorts that have just made me think about it more, so. here is me breaking down a disconnect i see particularly with younger members of the marauders fandom (i say marauders specifically just bc that's the only one i'm plugged into):

okay, so i've seen many (usually younger) marauders fans either talking online about how they wish ao3 was more like social media (specifically regarding algorithms) OR talking about ao3/fanfiction/fanfic writers as if they are operating under the same etiquette/guidelines/assumptions they would bring into social media platforms. this ranges from being mildly irritating to genuinely harmful, and i want to talk abt why.

first - you have to understand that social media, in this day and age, exists in a profit economy. and when i say social media here, i'm referring to platforms like tiktok, twitter, instagram, etc. all of these platforms exist in a profit economy where content is a product that can be monetized. this leads to a few important distinctions:

people posting on these social media platforms are generally posting with the intent to get their content seen by as many people as possible, as quickly as possible

they post with this intent because once their content is consumed by enough people, it becomes a product that they can monetize

therefore, if that content gets popular enough, these people can become influencers, where content creation is an actual job and their audience are, in a sort of vague and obscured way, similar to consumers purchasing a product

because of the profit economy surrounding social media, there are certain assumptions + forms of interaction that bleed across almost all social media platforms. the ones relevant to this little essay include:

operating under the assumption that anyone posting anything on the internet wants to go viral, ie. be seen by as many people as possible as quickly as possible in order to grow an "audience"

these influencers are creating content for us, their audience, so they should want to please us. they should also be trying to appeal to the broadest possible audience. therefore, if we dislike their content, we have a right to make that very, very clear.

in that same vein, we have a general right to critique content creators, as they are making a profit and we are the consumers purchasing their product--much like you might feel entitled to a certain standard of service in a restaurant where you are paying for the food.

when you carry these assumptions over to a platform like ao3, it creates problems. why? in a nutshell: because ao3 exists outside the profit economy

ao3 is a non-profit. it does not have an algorithm because it is not trying to sell you anything. this means that the writers posting their work on ao3 are not making a profit. we are not influencers. we are not creating monetized content to sell to a consumer-audience. where consuming content on other social media platforms might be comparable to eating at a restaurant, reading fanfiction on ao3 is more like coming over to someone's house and eating cookies that they made for free. you are in their house. the cookies are free, given as a gift. so what happens when those assumptions outlined above start to bleed over from other social media?

assuming that anyone posting fanfiction online wants their work to go viral -- i've seen this with popular fic writers getting questions like, "are you worried x isn't going to be as popular as y?" those questions are usually not ill-intended, but they demonstrate a fundamental lack of understanding about why writers post work on ao3. it's not to go viral. it's not to build any sort of online following. most of us who post on ao3 have jobs or schoolwork or other commitments, and writing fanfiction is something done for fun, out of a love for writing. those sharing their work online might be seeking community, but that is fundamentally different from seeking an audience, and in no way involves internet virality. if someone is posting fanfic on ao3 with the hope that it'll "go viral," then they likely either won't continue writing fanfic for long or will reach a point where they have to re-evalute their motivations, because seeking joy and validation by turning your art into a product for consumption just isn't very sustainable.

influencers are creating content for us, so we have a right to let them know if we don't like it -- nope!! fic writers are not influencers. yes, even the popular ones. no matter how much other people might blow their work up on social media, fic writers are still outside the profit economy. they are not creating content for an audience. they are not creating content for you. they are writing because they love it, and they are generously sharing it. if you don't like it, don't interact with it. you are never entitled to loudly and publicly proclaim how much you dislike a fic. i talk about this more here

we have a general right to critique fic writers, the same way we do with content creators/influencers -- again, no. you should not be treating fic writers the way you would treat an influencer on another social media platform, no matter how popular they may be. this is not to say fic writers are beyond all reproach; rather, it is a call-in to check your entitlement. fic writers are not little jesters entertaining in your court. they are not subject to your whims. they do not have to do things for you. they do not have to write things you like. in that post i linked on point 2, i talk about what etiquette might look like if you're really concerned that a fic writer is doing something harmful, but that is not what i'm talking about here. i am talking about the proliferation of negativity i have seen, especially on twitter and tiktok, where people essentially just talk shit about fics or fic writers as though they are entitled to have those fic writers working to please them. this is gross, and it needs to stop. you wouldn't go over to someone's house, eat the cookies they baked to share, and then spit those cookies back in their face and start shouting about what a shitty baker they are. or maybe you would--in which case, congratulations! you are Not A Good Person.

anyway, at the end of the day, a lot of this can be boiled down to: Because ao3 exists outside the profit economy, fic writers are not influencers, and you should never be treating them as though they are. i think i see this disconnect largely with younger people just because they've maybe only ever really understood social media within this sort of influencer-consumer-culture economy, and genuinely don't understand how to interact differently with the internet. so, consider this post a call-in to reevaluate the way you interact with fic writers and the etiquette you use when it comes to engaging with fanfic on ao3! i promise that ao3 being different from social media is a very, very good thing, and also a very, very rare thing, so let's treasure it and focus on fostering community rather than trying to morph it to fit the mould of influencer-audience dynamics that we see almost everywhere else <3

#tldr: fic writers aren't influencers #stop acting like they are #it only creates problems!!!! #anyway if you have engaged in some of these behaviors that doesn't make u a bad person #it just means u should maybe shift ur perspective moving forward #capitalism is a lifeless desert that grows every day and ao3 is a little oasis #let's all enjoy it while we can #instead of trying to place it within a consumer economy #ranting and raving #txt

[kitscutie]

august (conrad fisher x reader)

𝗉𝖺𝗂𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀: 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗋𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗂ꜱ𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀ꜱ: ᖯ𝗂𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗏𝗒 𝗄𝗂ꜱꜱ𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝗆𝖺𝖽 ᖯ𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗒, ꜱ𝖾𝗑𝗒 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗋𝖺𝖽

𝗉.ꜱ: 𝗂'𝗆 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺 𝗐𝖺𝗍𝗍𝗉𝖺𝖽 ꜱ𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗒 𝗂𝗇ꜱ𝗉𝗂𝗋𝖾𝖽 ᖯ𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝗂ꜱ 𝗈𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝖺𝖼𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍 - 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗅𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗒𝗅𝖺𝗇, 𝗂𝗍'ꜱ 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗃𝗎ꜱ𝗍 𝗒𝖾𝗍 ᖯ𝗎𝗍 ꜱ𝗍𝖺𝗒 𝗍𝗎𝗇𝖾𝖽!

ꜱ𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒: 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗋𝖺𝖽 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 ᖯ𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 ꜱ𝖾𝖼𝗋𝖾𝗍 ꜱ𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗄-𝗎𝗉ꜱ 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝖺ꜱ𝗍 𝗍𝗐𝗈 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋ꜱ, 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝖺𝗂𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗀𝗈 𝗎𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝖺𝖽𝖺𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗈𝗇 𝗂𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗐𝖺𝗒ꜱ, 𝗎𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗅 ᖯ𝖾𝗅𝗅𝗒 ꜱ𝗁𝗈𝗐ꜱ 𝗎𝗉 𝖺𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 ᖯ𝗈𝗇𝖿𝗂𝗋𝖾 𝗎𝗇𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖼𝖾𝖽.

a/n: been wanting to write this for a while so BOOM here it is, sooo excited for season two, also im in a deep dylan obrien depression i need help :p ALSO sorry like all my fics are in different styles at the start i'm experimenting atm!

You and Conrad Fisher had known each other since you had popped out of the womb nineteen years ago in the same hospital, only a floor and two hours keeping you apart.

Your moms had been friends since rooming at college and so your friendship, some might say, had been written in the stars quite literally. Fate.

Things had started to change on your sixteenth birthday. It was just before the annual summer reunion, and of course, you and your mom had gone down just one week earlier in order to have a joint birthday celebration with the Fishers and stayed until the Conklin's arrived.

You had hit puberty and he hadn't seen you since the big change but when he did, his eyes could've fell from his skull. It was almost comedic. Of course at the time his stares meant little to you. He was your best friend after all.

Until last year. It was the start of summer bonfire and all was normal. Belly was at home, Jeremiah was off talking to girls with Steven which left you and Conrad. You found it strange he didn't have the same interest in girls as Steven and Jeremiah but who were you to say anything. You wanted him to stay.

Long story short he finally made a move and a kiss began in the abandoned life-guard tower a couple feet away from the main event, it was all going well, almost too well. And you were proven correct when Steven and Jeremiah came down the beach looking for you and found you in that very compromising position.

Seeing as they weren't exactly in a place to talk they agreed to keep it a secret and so it became the new norm for them, seeing the two of you together while your mom, Susannah, Laurel and Belly were non the wiser.

The bonfire was in full-swing, Summer had officially begun and what better way to start it than in the lap of Conrad Fisher on Cousins Beach.

He was sat cross legged on the blanket you'd brought from the house, while you sat atop him, legs either side of his own.

"I just think we should be nicer to her, I mean that was us three years ago." You sighed, you'd had a beer or two and were feeling increasingly guilty about the disallowance of Belly to come tonight.

"None of us were allowed out at sixteen, it's only fair." Conrad replied, voice low and relaxed. Something you appreciated about him, he was a very soothing person.

"Yeah, but that's different! We all had each other and now-" You began but he cut you off with a groan.

"Can we please not talk about Belly when your sat on me?" He said, smile gracing his lips.

You began to 'ew' and berate him but were soon cut off by his lips on yours, one of his hands holding your jaw in place while the other sat comfortably on the upper part of your thigh.

It didn't take much for you to open up, his tongue instantly hitting against yours as he deepened the kiss. When your mouths disconnected, it made a sound which made your head go light and airy.

"Do you still feel bad?" He whispered. Hand moving up to put a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

"No." You answered, shooting forward to connect your lips once more. He chuckled into the kiss, teeth clashing together but you didn't care you just wanted him.

His spare hand slowly and nonchalantly drifted to the hem of your shorts, groping your ass gently, you were still in public after all and Conrad wanted to be able to say he had an ounce of class and respect. Even if it was a lie.

A disruption to the left of you and Conrad caught your attention and you went to turn your head, lips still interlocked but he denied that, hand on your jaw tightening and turning your head back to look at him.

The final straw was a resounding 'Ooh' from the crowd and you decided no matter what he did you were going to see what was happening.

Finally turning your head you found Belly. On the floor. And looking directly at you. A lot was wrong with that.

"Shit, Conrad." You said, which finally got his face away from placing delicate kisses across your jaw and to see the same thing as you. His face also dropping.

"Belly?" He said, unable to stop himself in disbelief.

Really this would've been the right time to get out of his lap but you were frozen in fear, forgetting you were sat there in the first place.

"I thought me and Y/N were like your sisters." She said, anger painted on her face. You didn't like confrontation in the first place and so saying something was hard but you couldn't let Belly think badly of you or Conrad.

"Belly look- it's different-" You defended, but she once again cut you off in anger and while your throat tightened in anxiety, you felt Conrad's hand soothe over your back. Reassuring and subtle.

"Different? I know him just as well as you do. It's not different." She seethed. Stepping closer to the two of you.

"Belly, c'mon you know what I mean." You whispered unintentionally. Your eyes were going glassy, feeling looks from all around you. Some in agreeance with you, some with her but none knew the full story.

"We've been together since last year. It was after you left to take Steven to look at Colleges." Conrad stepped in while Belly processed. Preventing another dig at you.

"I thought you weren't ready for a relationship and that, may I remind you again, we're like sisters to you?" Belly replied.

"I didn't-" Conrad started though a hurt look from you cut him off. "Look I said that like two years ago, it isn't even relevant anymore. Clearly." He said. Eyes connecting with you to reassure you, not her.

"You're such a brat." He added, seeing the affect her words had on you.

"Well you're an asshole." Belly yelled back, all while you sat stunned and quiet.

"Belly! You came, great, we can all hang out." Jeremiah said enthusiastically running over. You appreciated his intervention, as obvious as it was that he was trying to distract her.

"I'm about to take her home." Steven cut him off.

"What?" Jeremiah said, confused. Though the situation was bad she was old enough to be out past ten pm. Whether Steven liked it or not.

"Yeah, we're leaving, are you kidding me?" Steven replied as if it was obvious. Grabbing her hand.

"Ok, Steven come on. Go hang out with Shayla or something." Jeremiah answered and you couldn't help but admire the boy and his love for Belly.

You tore your eyes away from the conversation above you as they dispersed, looking back at Conrad who was sighing and pushing hair from his face.

"It'll be okay." You said, knowing what he needed without having to ask.

"I know." He smiled gently, though his eyes didn't fully match. He was worried, and you couldn't blame him.

Belly knew, and worst of all, just five months ago she had confided in you about her crush on Conrad and so it was unclear if she would ever even speak to you again.

Guilt was swallowing you whole.

#the summer i turned pretty #conrad x reader #conrad fisher #tsitpbookseries #tsitp fanfic #tsitp s2 #tsitp season 1 #tsitp imagine #conrad fisher x reader #chris briney #jeremiah fisher #belly conklin #tsitp #conrad fisher x fem!reader

[scoonsalicious]

6.2 Lily

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, toxic plants being manipulative and toxic.

Word Count: Bucky done fucked up.

Previously On...: 2.5k

A/N: Please note: I will be taking a one week break from posting starting on Thursday, May 16th, to focus on writing. I will resume posting on Thursday, May 23rd.

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

He was on his way! 

After disconnecting from her call with Bucky, Lily bent down to her front driver’s side tire and, using her car key, pried out the nail she’d run over to ensure it would go flat while she ran the trail. Walking to the edge of the parking lot, she hurled the nail into the woods, getting rid of any evidence that she’d manufactured the current predicament she “accidentally” found herself in.

It didn’t matter if Bucky hadn’t come home from his date last night. Hadn’t told her that he’d even been on a date to begin with. What mattered was that, when Lily had called, Bucky had left the bitch behind and had come running. To her.

And that meant something. 

Right?

Bucky could go out with some slut if he wanted to, but when Lily had needed him, Bucky had dropped everything to be there for her, and that knowledge made Lily’s insides glow with warmth. She was still his number one girl; she shouldn’t have let herself get worked up over one date that probably didn’t mean anything. Bucky had dated before, and Lily had made sure none of them stuck around for very long. This time wouldn’t be any different.

So, Lily waited. She checked her email, she played some games on her phone, she listened to a podcast. Finally, a little over an hour after she’d hung up with Bucky, she saw one of Tony’s sportscars speed into the parking lot and make its way to the trailhead.

Her heart sank at the thought of Bucky sending Tony Stark to help her in his stead, so it was quite a shock to her system when the car pulled up next to hers, turned its engine off, and Bucky himself stepped out. He wasn’t wearing his usual tshirt and jeans, no– he was wearing a rumpled burgundy button-up, sleeves rolled up to the elbows and the first couple of buttons left undone at his neck, and a pair of fitted, black trousers. 

Lily swallowed. His hair was a mess, but she could imagine how put together he must have looked the night before, and that made her stomach twist. He’d made an effort. He’d made a real, genuine effort to dress up for this date that he lied to her about.

“Hey, Lil,” he said, once she got out of her car to meet him. He smiled, but she’d known him long enough to be able to tell when his smiles weren’t genuine, and this one didn’t reach his eyes.

“Hey, Jamie,” she said, offering him a fake smile  of her own to hide her distress. “Thank you so much for coming out. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

“I’m sure Steve or Sam or anyone from the Compound would have been more than willing to help you out, Lil,” Bucky said as he walked to the back of her car. “Could you pop the trunk for me so I can get your jack and the spare?”

Lily bent her head back inside to unlock the trunk, rolling her eyes as she did so. If she’d wanted someone else to change her tire, she’d have just done it herself. Or, you know, not popped her own tire to begin with. But that was beside the point.

She walked around to the back of the car so she could help Bucky move things around in her trunk to get to her spare. “You’re dressed awfully fancy for a Sunday morning,” she said, watching him out of the side of her eye. “You find God and suddenly decide to start going to church?”

Bucky chuckled. “Something like that,” he said. Lily stole a glance in his direction and caught him smiling softly to himself as he pulled her spare out from the trunk with his vibranium hand. Taking her car jack in the other, he moved around to the driver’s side and began loosening the lug nuts with his left hand. Lily shivered when she considered how strong he was, how much power that one hand contained.

Once all the nuts were loosened, he slid the jack under the frame of the car and began raising it. He was annoyingly efficient at this, Lily thought, and she realized her window of time with him wasn’t as big as she had originally anticipated.

“So, where were you when I called this morning, really?” she asked, leaning up against the side of Tony’s car as she watched him work. She just wanted him to be honest with her. She didn’t think she could take it if he continued to lie.

Bucky stilled in his motions. “I… I, uh, had a date,” he said after a moment.

Lily paused, playing confused. “A date on a Sunday morning?” she asked him. “That’s a really weird—oh.” Bucky left the car suspended on the jack and turned to face her, hands shoved into his pockets, and the guilt in his eyes nearly palpable. 

Good, Lily thought. Let him be guilty, now that he realizes I know he lied to me. “I didn’t realize you were seeing anyone, Jamie,” she said, voice deliberately meek and soft. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Bucky sighed and leaned back against her car. “It’s new,” he said. “Like, really new.”

Good, she thought. This hasn’t been going on for a long time. There was still a good chance she could nip it in the bud before it grew into a real problem. “So, when you said you were out with Sam last night…” She left it hanging in the air. Let him be the one to say the word.

“I lied to you,” he said with a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“Why, Jamie?” she asked him. “I didn’t think we lied to one another.” She thought about the hole she’d punched in her own tire. Well, she didn’t think he lied to her.

“We don’t, Lil,” he said. “I just… It seems like whenever I start seeing someone new, you just…” he paused to consider his words, and Lily started to get nervous. Did he know… did he suspect the things she’d done in the past to keep other girls away from him? He couldn’t. She’d been so careful… “You just form a lot of opinions on them, really quickly,” he said, and she released a breath. He didn’t know anything. She was safe. “I wanted to get to know this girl on my own, without any outside influences, before I decided to find out what everyone else thought about her.”

“I only tell you what I think because I care about you, Jamie,” Lily protested in her gentlest voice. She was going to have to walk a very delicate line here, between stressing her point and sounding sympathetic. “I’m just trying to look out for you, that’s all.”

“I know,” he said with a sigh. “I know you are, and I do appreciate it, but… I want to be able to figure out how I feel about this one before I start soliciting opinions about her from everyone else. Does that make sense?”

It did. Fuck, it did. Usually, Bucky was so eager to talk about the new girls he was dating, to introduce him to his best friends and find out what they thought about her, to get their opinions. If he was reticent this time, it could only mean one, horrible thing:

“You really like this girl, don’t you, Jamie?” Lily asked, trying so hard to keep her voice light, when inside, she felt like she was dying.

Bucky looked up at her. “Yeah, Lil,” he said, his dazzling white smile beaming at her and making her heart stop. “I really do.”

“That’s great,” Lily choked out. She turned back to the trunk of her car, pretending to busy herself with its contents so she didn’t have to look at him. “That’s really great.”

She heard Bucky move around and start working on the tire again. “Not really,” he said, his voice sounding dejected. Lily moved her head around from the back of the trunk to look at him. 

“What do you mean?” she asked, a spark of hope coming to life in her chest. 

Bucky let out a long sigh. “I think I might have blown it with her,” he said as he worked to take the flat tire off of her car. 

“Oh no,” Lily said, trying to keep the smile out of her voice. Maybe she wouldn’t have to do anything, afterall. Maybe Bucky had managed to fuck it up on his own. “What happened?”

Bucky was silent for a moment as he replaced the tire with ease. “I don’t really want to talk about it,” he said eventually. “Let’s just say that we left things very… ambiguously. I asked her if I could call her later, she didn’t really give me an answer either way. Just kind of shrugged. If she wanted me to call her, she would have just said so, right?”

Lily felt her stomach do a happy flip, but she put on a fake pout. “Oh, Jamie,” she said, fake sympathy oozing over her words, “please don’t tell me she’s playing mind games like that with you already! If a girl wants you to call her, she’ll tell you to call her, not play hard to get.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Bucky said defensively as he began re-tightening the lugnuts on the tire. “I just… I did something she didn’t like, is all. And she’s probably rightly pissed about it.”

Lily walked around the car to stand next to him as he finished up. “I don’t think I like this, Jamie,” she said cautiously. “You’ve barely started dating this girl, and already she thinks she can dictate your actions? That doesn’t seem healthy to me, at all.”

Bucky stood, running a hand across his face. “Nah, Lil– you’re… you’re getting it twisted. I made a mistake. I know I did, and she’s got every right to be mad at me about it. I need to talk to her, to sort it out.” Lily was losing ground; thankfully, she’d come prepared.

“Listen, Jamie,” she said, abruptly changing the topic in the hopes of getting his mind off this mysterious skank, “I was planning on having lunch up here today, since it’s so gorgeous out. I probably overdid it when I packed my food. Do you want to join me?”

Bucky heaved a sigh and looked like he was about to decline.

“Consider it my way of saying ‘thank you’ for you coming all the way out here to rescue me,” she added, knowing that she was laying it on thick, but not wanting him to walk away. “Come on, we’ll make a picnic of it. It’ll be fun!”

“Yeah, alright,” Bucky said, letting a smile cross his face. “I could eat.”

Bucky Barnes always did have a soft spot for a damsel in distress. With a grin, Lily opened the backseat of her car and pulled out the cooler she’d preemptively packed in the hope that just such an opportunity would arise. Lily was nothing if not prepared. 

Bucky reached for it. “Here, let me,” he said, taking it from her. Lily smiled to herself as she reached back into the car to pull out the picnic blanket she’d packed. 

“Such a gentleman,” she said as she closed the car door and led Bucky down one of the trails. It was a gorgeous late-summer day, and Lily could almost convince herself they were on a real date together. Almost. God, what she wouldn’t give for this to be the real thing. 

After they’d walked for about fifteen minutes, Lily veered left off of the trail and into the woods. “You bringing me back here to kill me?” Bucky asked in a playful tone as he followed her with the cooler.

“Yup,” Lily teased right back. “I definitely have faith in my ability to take out a super soldier on my own.” Her heart swelled when she was rewarded with an amused chuckle from Bucky. 

Soon, they reached her destination: a cozy clearing that sat along the bank of a creek that ran through the park, with a small waterfall that fed a crystal clear pool below.

“This is nice,” Bucky said, coming up behind Lily as she fanned out the blanket. “How’d you find this spot?”

Lily sat down and reached to take the cooler from Bucky, beckoning him to join her. “I was scouting some potential off-trail runs for the recruits and just kind of stumbled upon it,” she told him. She opened up the cooler and began taking out the food she’d brought– all of Bucky’s favorites.

Bucky nodded, then looked at the spread with wide eyes. “You packed all of this for yourself, Lil?”

Lily felt a slight blush creep up her cheeks– she had not, in fact, packed it all for herself, but specifically in the hope that he would end up joining her, though he could never know that. “I guess I just overestimated how hungry I’d be after my run,” she told him as she handed him a bottle of water. “Thanks for joining me so that all this food doesn’t go to waste.”

“No problem,” he said as he began to tear into the food she’d brought. “Thanks for getting a flat tire, I guess,” he added with a laugh.

They ate amicably, making small talk about their upcoming plans for the week, and how Lily’s latest batch of recruits looked. Lily was itching to ask Bucky more about his mystery date, to find out who she was, if she was someone Lily knew; but she didn’t want to bring it up– the less Bucky talked about her, the more likely he was to just forget about her all together, right? Especially if he’d done something to piss her off. Better to keep him distracted so that the window of opportunity for any reconciliation closed without him noticing it.

Soon, the food was gone, the sun high in the sky. Lily and Bucky both lay back on the picnic blanket, staring lazily up into the blue sky. “We should do something today,” Lily suggested, trying not to sound too eager.

Bucky chuckled. “Aren’t we doing something now, Lil?” he asked.

She playfully shoved his shoulder. “Later, I mean. Like, we’re having a good time; we should continue it. Go somewhere nice for dinner, do something after, like go to a club or see a show or something. Make a whole ‘friend-date’ night out of it!” Anything, she thought to herself. I’ll do anything, as long as I’m doing it with you. And who knew what could happen in the right romantic setting?

“Yeah, that sounds like it could be fun,” Bucky mused. “Sure.”

“Really?” Lily couldn’t believe her luck. “Leave all the planning to me, then!” She’d make sure she got a table at the most romantic restaurant she could find, and get them tickets to something steamy that would put Bucky in the right mood… She knew just what dress to wear, to show just enough skin to be tantalizing…

Yes, tonight, things were going to change. Lily could feel it.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

[venussaidso]

𝗞𝗲𝘁𝘂 𝗗𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲𝘀 — 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 (part 1) 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏𝟎

disclaimer: spoilers for all movies or shows mentioned.

the warnings: mentions of drug abuse, sexual violence, self-harm, genocide, mental disorders/illnesses, cannibalism and self amputation.

The most interesting theme within all the Ketu nakshatras was one that was unexpected, as it is common to mainly associate Ketu with concepts of disconnection or isolation from society as a whole -- since Ketu is often linked with the 12H. But it is more about the interactions with the unseen forces within society more than anything. Because the 12H also represents the collective's consciousness and all the interconnected energies that come with that which Ketu becomes possessed by. And it is Ashwini that is the most sensitive Ketu nakshatra, as it easily becomes consumed & absorbed by these 12H energies which often leads to chaos and loneliness.

Ashwini nakshatra embodies Nothingness which is the oldest energy in the universe. It's between a space before actualized creation, and after the rise of awareness that's emerged from Nothingness (or the Cosmic Void). It is very fitting that this is the first nakshatra; but it should also be considered the last as it essentially represents the non-duality of Life & Death. This theme is further extended in Bharani and beautifully explored in that nakshatra, but in Ashwini we focus on the spirit's evolution. The energy found in this nakshatra is as undeveloped as it is chaotic, which is why evolution needs to take place -- and this usually involves extreme harsh forces to tame it. It is in Ashwini where there's confusion or lack of self-awareness of one's own identity as energies here become repressed, unconsciously accumulating. I'm going to use some films as examples to explore this point.

First, I'm going to use the most typical Ketu-coded character. Ashwini Moon Christian Bale's Patrick Bateman in "American Psycho". This film follows an investment banker who relishes in the wealthy excesses of his superficial lifestyle in which everybody else around him also revels in. His life is empty, mostly revolving around getting into exclusive restaurants, wallowing in designer suits, having a meticulous morning routine etc. There's a pressure in general for conformity and Ashwini is sensitive to these energies which they take up, driving them to compete and also go too far with this -- because it's no longer about conforming anymore. It's become an obsession, and these pressures drive Patrick Bateman into homicidal tendencies as an outlet. This film perfectly encapsulates modern-day consumerisms, and it is of course an Ashwini native who is driven into a descent of madness from this empty, superficial culture he's subjected to.

Nothing can fill up the emptiness inside of him and he knows that. This crippling, painful understanding is what continuously manifests his violent self-hatred and hatred towards others. And this is why he is forever trapped in a cycle of loneliness, as he is surrounded by the same narcissistic, self-absorbed suits who will continue to maintain this soulless, superficial culture.

The movie was adapted from the book with the same name, written by Mula Moon Bret Easton Ellis whose own experiences inspired the book "American Psycho".

Quote from an interview; OregonLive (2010);

"[Patrick Bateman] did not come out of me sitting down and wanting to write a grand sweeping indictment of yuppie culture. It initiated because my own isolation and alienation at a point in my life. I was living like Patrick Bateman. I was slipping into a consumerist kind of void that was supposed to give me confidence and make me feel good about myself but just made me feel worse and worse and worse about myself. That is where the tension of 'American Psycho' came from... It came from a much more personal place."

-- Mula Moon Bret Easton Ellis

Now, onto the movie "Fight Club", which was directed by Magha Sun David Fincher, and stars Magha Sun Edward Norton and Mula Sun Brad Pitt.

The most highlighted character from this film, played by Brad Pitt, is Tyler Durden, who plans on making a revolution to destroy the hyper-capitalistic, materialistic superficial culture that we saw destroy Patrick Bateman from the inside in "American Psycho".

(video - 🎧)

Of course, just like Ashwini Moon Patrick Bateman took his obsessive consumerism too far; Mula Sun Tyler Durden lays on the opposite spectrum -- aiming to destroy modern society by blowing up all credit card companies and ruining the world's economy. Mula is related to destruction as it is ruled by Nirriti, the goddess of destruction. The oppressive forces that weigh on this Mula character, Tyler Durden, causes him into a spiral for freedom (9H), using extremities and acts of terrorism to be rid of ego/society. Whereas Ashwini, having no solid identity and just being undeveloped in nature, is more likely to conform; but so long as Ketu is there, there will always be an emptiness in the ambitious pursuit of things. Ashwini can grant excess wealth and fame, but with no inner fulfillment or balance, you see characters like Patrick Bateman. Or Daniel Plainview from "There Will Be Blood".

A movie directed by Paul Thomas Anderson who has Ketu in Magha, and stars Ashwini Moon, Mula Ascendant Daniel Day Lewis who portrays Daniel Plainview. Plainview is more Ashwini, as he is an extremely ambitious, capitalistic and competitive oilman.

His pursuit for wealth and power leads him to personal loneliness, isolation and emptiness -- we see how Ketuvians become so drained and eaten alive by the energies they absorb in the pursuit of things. Similarly to Patrick Bateman, he not only hates others but himself and wishes for no one to succeed in life.

(click on the gif(s) if they're buffering lmao, i swear they're cheap)

His primal competitiveness and self-loathing even drives away his only family -- his only child. His adult son means to do his own oilrig business and cuts his partnership with him. But Plainview's unchecked ambition shows that even after attaining success and power, he literally goes ahead to disown his own son as he considers him competition now. And now he extends the same hatred he has for others to him. Further isolating himself; this validating his deep sense of loneliness that was always there with his self-loathing.

The film ends in an Ashwini fashion; in which Plainview goes into a psychotic meltdown and murders someone who he has had a long stewing hatred for.

(YouTube clip by me - 🎧)

I wanted to provide a brilliant video from the YouTuber "The Vile Eye", who explored the dark nature of this character; because it perfectly illustrates Ashwini nakshatra in a twisted way -- especially in how Aries in this segment is influenced by Ketu forces. Everything about this character is every Aries stereotype you can think of from the top of your head, but Ketu exaggerates it to the point of extremity and tragedy.

Amazing video for anyone who wants to understand Ashwini at its extreme which can manifest in real life of course.

Now in the series "Peaky Blinders", which I quickly wanted to mention, stars Ashwini Moon Cillian Murphy whose character faces moral dilemmas, as his relentless pursuit of power contributes to his moral ambiguity.

His ruthless ambition to become the most powerful in the criminal underworld is something I couldn't help but relate it back to Ashwini's drive & competitiveness.

The movie "Scarface" stars Ashwini Sun Al Pacino who plays Tony Montana. And fun fact, Tony Montana is loosely based and inspired by the real-life figure, Al Capone, who was literally a goddamn Ashwini Moon. So, I say Scarface is a fucking Ashwini movie.

Both Tony Montana and Al Capone had unchecked ambitions and an unrelenting desire for power. In Ashwini, extreme power can be attained, and we saw how Tony Montana quickly rose to it (as Ashwini is the Star of Transport and it is associated with Shidhra Vyapani Shakti which translates to 'The Power to Quickly Reach Things'). Similarly, Al Capone was also driven by the desire for power and he attained it.

Like Daniel Plainview in "There Will Be Blood", Tony Montana starts to experience isolation after all of his achievements. His chaotic behaviour contributes to his alienation, and he starts to feel intensifying loneliness, which seems to be a theme with this nakshatra. And this film also ends in Ashwini fashion; with absolute chaos, the psychotic unraveling of Tony and of course death.

I wanted to also add in the movie "Nightcrawler" which stars Mula Sun Jake Gyllenhaal who plays a character willing to go to the extreme lengths for success and personal achievement, to the point of exploiting others and not giving two fucks about ethical boundaries.

He has a distorted view of success and has an unchecked, ruthless ambition which is common in Ketu nakshatras. He is also a socially isolated character, behaving inappropriately as he is disconnected from social norms. He lacks zero empathy. In his obsessive & relentless pursuit of success, he is devoid of humanity. Had to mention this film because these themes are not exclusive to Ashwini.

But as I did mention, Mula is more likely to be aware of societal pressures and these natives often feel deeply disturbed by them -- while Ashwini is more focused on the Self, as it's ruled by the 1H. In the film "Falling Down", Mula Moon Michael Douglas plays a character who has become disillusioned and is now aware of the pressures and oppression caused by the modern-day life. This movie is literally directed by Magha Sun Joel Schumacher.

He confronts many issues such as homelessness and crime, which are heavily rooted in the greedy, capitalistic system of modern society. But he becomes violent and chaotic himself, going into a descent to madness (from absorbing the energies felt by the collective who also feel the weight of these oppressive forces within society). This movie deals with the consequences of unchecked rage, a theme shared in all Ketu nakshatras.

The film "Taxi Driver", which stars Magha Sun Robert De Niro and is directed by Magha Ascendant Martin Scorsese, depicts a man who suffers from extreme loneliness, alienation from society, and struggles with existential crisis. The film explores social decay; such as social disparities, the disillusionment of our main character to society's ills, crime, poverty etc. He goes into a descent into vigilantism, using violence as a catharsis which is a common thing for these Ketu nakshatras (mainly Magha and Mula as it looks at societal frustrations and the emptiness in life/modern culture).

The character also suffers from a possible case of untreated mental illness, and insomnia -- and this seems to be a theme with all Ketu nakshatras in general.

Another film where the main character suffers from extreme insomnia is "The Machinist", starring Ashwini Moon Christian Bale whose character's insomnia and untreated mental illness literally contribute to his isolation and alienation.

will be coming back to this film in my part 2 post

And the film "Fight Club", in which Magha Sun Edward Norton plays an insomniac character who has dissociative identity disorder. And his split personality is interestingly played by Mula Sun Brad Pitt.

Then we have the film "Insomnia", directed by Ketu in Magha Christopher Nolan, starring Ashwini Sun Al Pacino who plays an insomniac detective who faces some mental challenges.

There is a spiritual belief about insomnia, which suggests that there may be a disturbance in one's spirit; unresolved issues that have been long suppressed can be linked to an imbalance of energy within the body. This causes restlessness and more mental problems. This could make sense as Ketu and the 12H deal with what is unconscious -- and how that tends to be our deep, rooted traumas and the way in which they affect us & those around us. And not just traumas, could just be repression of one's own internal suffering from either loneliness or external pressures. We see this with Patrick Bateman, whose only outlet is literal murder, or Tyler Durden's 'revolutionary' fight club causing more destruction around him as planned. Both characters violently act out from these unaddressed decaying energies within themselves and from within society.

The series "Sharp Objects", directed by Magha Moon Jean-Marc Vallé, mostly deals with family traumas, but also shows how those traumas and unresolved energies literally cause death and chaos around them.

Camille Preaker, who is played by Magha Sun Amy Adams, is deeply traumatized and troubled. She has a history of self-harm and has many scars on her body; her self-destructive behaviour is a coping mechanism for what happened when she was young (sexual violence by a group of boys and witnessing the slow, painful and preventative death of her sister). Then we have her younger half-sister Amma, played by Magha Moon Eliza Scanlen, who has a hidden dark side that has been shaped by the family's troubled history and generational trauma. By the end of the series, we find out that Amma is the killer of the violent murders that have shocked the townspeople of Wind Gap. It is Amma who is responsible for all of the gruesome deaths of the girls whose teeth were removed. As Camille's coping mechanism is cutting herself as self-punishment for all the guilt she harbours from the death of her sister, Amma literally commits homicidal acts. All of this connecting to just how messed up, and complex, their trauma and the community they grew up in is. And then we have their mother, played by Mula Moon Patricia Clarkson, who has Munchausen syndrome and is responsible for the death of her oldest daughter. Camille was a witness to her sister's suffering and death, and she sees her mother as a monster and now her little sister is an extension of her. This series is such a good example of how our own personal unchecked traumas affect others, especially those who aren't involved. And how much destruction can be caused, as we see with Amma killing other girls as an 'outlet'. This is why I now realize how wrong I was about Ketu, as Ketu is not necessarily about isolating from society. Regarding society, Ketu will be the complex yet intricate unaddressed/rotting energies within society, and it always relates back to individuals' personal generational traumas. It makes sense that Magha relates to ancestry roots and origins of oneself, even the origins of one's trauma.

Now onto the film "Nocturnal Animals", which is directed by Magha Sun Tom Ford, stars Magha Sun Amy Adams and Mula Sun Jake Gyllenhaal.

Amy Adams plays Susan who is a successful art gallery owner. She receives a manuscript for a novel called Nocturnal Animals sent to her by her ex-husband Edward who's played by Jake Gyllenhaal. The book is extremely violent & tragic; but it actually turns out to be a symbolic reflection of their relationship and marriage. Bringing in the Ketu themes of unresolved trauma and getting to the roots of it (Mula theme). This book serves to make Susan confront how much of her actions fucked him up. The movie focuses on the confronting of one's past, telling of how trauma will still continue to shape the lives of those involved. And the movie shows that even Susan still has unresolved issues just by her repulsed reactions to extreme parts of the novel.

The movies "Split" and "Glass", stars two Ashwini Suns, Anya Taylor Joy and James McAvoy. McAvoy's character, Kevin, has dissociative personality disorder and these different personalities exist to keep him safe. His trauma is so extreme and deeply painful that it manifested into the creation of The Beast, the most dangerous and superhuman personality. Three kidnapped girls are prey to The Beast as they end up being devoured by it but there is only one doesn't fall victim to him -- and that's Anya Taylor Joy's character Casey.

The reason why she doesn't fall victim is because she, too, has suffered extreme trauma and her resilience through it is what creates an immediate connection with Kevin. It is when The Beast sees her scars that he calls her pure, implying that those who have been damaged are the ones who are truly evolved.

(YouTube clip by me - 🎧)

Also, "Split" is another example of how deeply repressed energies and traumas of one can ruin everything around them and victimize those close to the Ketuvians (usually uninvolved people's lives being violently taken; "Split", "Sharp Objects", "American Psycho", "Falling Down" etc.).

Ashwini Moon Zendaya in the series "Euphoria" plays a character, Rue, who has been through a significant amount of trauma, including the passing of her father. She uses self-destructive ways to cope with her deep emotional pain and grief, very similarly to Magha Sun Amy Adams's character in "Sharp Objects". Rue uses drugs to numb herself from her harsh realities. There is a moment in the series in which she has a chaotic meltdown.

(YouTube clip by me - 🎧)

Something I now understand with Ashwini is how explosive, volatile and scary its ungrounded energy can be -- exactly why I'd commonly associate it with hysterical meltdowns which can lead to accidental or unplanned homicidal acts or other forms of harm/self-harm. This scene of Rue is vaguely taking me back to Ashwini Moon Christian Bale's spiraling and meltdowns in "American Psycho".

(YouTube clip by me - 🎧)

Ketu, especially with Magha, seems to cause erratic behaviours when its natives aren't purified of their long-accumulated baggage in their unconsciousness -- exactly why the 8H is also ruled by Ketu as Scorpio shares this particular theme. As long as there is deep disturbance and imbalance in the body, there is no rest for the soul -- even for future incarnations to come.

But now, I want to touch on the senseless harshness of Ketu. Remember, this energy embodies the eternal sucking void. Mula nakshatra relates to the center of the cosmic void and goes straight into the roots of it. Ashwini has already risen from it, while Mula is centering itself back into it. Mula is where we seek an awakening to the truth of what is behind reality. What is on the other side of the cosmic void? Truth is searched in Mula, but it seems that it is Ashwini that understands that chaos is the absolute truth of reality. There is no meaning to anything, which sounds nihilistic, but it is what makes life beautiful.

In the film "The Pianist", written & directed by Magha Sun Roman Polanski, starring Ashwini Sun Adrien Brody, starts out quite warm with a well-put together family and a handsome talented Ashwini man who dreams of being a pianist. But things take a drastic turn. We see a once bright-eyed boy turn into the shell of the person he once was after going through such harrowing events, and things just keep getting tragically worse and worse until there is not even a sliver of hope anymore. The majority of the film is literally just despair, senseless cruelty, and the protagonist's soul slowly becoming annihilated.

I've never watched a film more Ketuvian than this; surrounded by genocide, death and being completely isolated while being eaten by one's own lonely misery.

One moment you think one character is going to make it out alive somehow because they have the conviction and drive to survive, but the film immediately takes that idea away as they helplessly die. You think the protagonist is going to see some light, and the film even makes you slightly comfortable in some moments given the harsh realities, but you witness just how everything remains tragic. There are no answers to any prayers, as suffering is just ongoing. This tonality creates another layer of feeling trapped, and you watch as the character just lets life do whatever it wants to him as he is trapped in a world where he is helpless anyway. With Ketu, you realize that there was never any security or answers to this senseless chaos in this world to begin with.

But his survival at the end makes you question why he even went through all of that. There was no lesson to be taken from such a tragic, horrifying experience. Why did his other friends and family die but not him? In the end, he became a successful pianist as he dreamt of from the beginning. He was exceptionally talented from the start; these events took everything away from him except his passion for the piano. What he went through was senseless, as Ketu has no prime motivation. Saturn will push you through the worst so that you can reach a level where you can now attain all of your reaped rewards, Ketu doesn't care for what you get in the end -- that's Rahu's objective, as Rahu deals with ego; Ketu deals with the evolution of one's soul and that usually involves its annihilation.

The kdrama "Save Me", stars three Ketu natives; Magha Moon Seo Yea-ji, Mula Moon Woo Do-hwan and Mula Sun Ok Taec-yeon. It follows Seo Yeah-ji's character, Sang-mi, and her family after moving into a new town. They become influenced and entangled by a religious cult. Sang-mi becomes aware of just how oppressive and dangerous the cult is when she & her family literally lose all control to them. Sang-mi's attempts to escape become futile, as she remains trapped under the oppressive abuse of the cult, turning her more into a shell of the person she once was.

(The Mula male characters are the ones who find out about the Magha girl's whereabouts, and they plan to save her and her family from the clutches of the cult.)

She witnesses extremely harrowing events, and the drama makes you feel the sense of hopelessness that she's feeling -- trapped and completely helpless no matter how much she tries to save herself and family. There is a similar sense of hopelessness and lose of one's own identity found in "The Pianist", but in this drama it's more about extreme involuntary isolation from society (which I will be expanding on in part 2 of this exploration).

The film "Society of the Snow" is literally directed by Ashwini Moon J.A. Bayona, based on real life events. There's a documentary based on these events as well, "Stranded: I've Come From A Plane That Crashed On The Mountains", directed by Magha Moon Gonzalo Arijon.

Now, in the "Society of the Snow", there is a tone of hopelessness set in the film because of the gruesome reality that these characters (based on real life people) experience. And never in their lifetime did they think that everything was going to change so drastically from just living the average life of normal teenage boys. These characters, who were in a rugby team, get on a plane that would soon crash onto glacier surrounded by endless cold harsh mountains -- with just a piece of the wrecked plane remaining in which they take shelter in. The protagonists are surrounded by the dead bodies of friends who did not survive the crash, and now they must spend the first night in harsh coldness while many are severely injured. They couldn't even sleep, the first night being spent with many of them crying and wailing out loud, nearly freezing to death. One day after, a rescue helicopter searches for them, and they all scream out for help. But the helicopter misses them as they're barely noticeable under all the glacier that surrounds them. This is when the sense of hopelessness and despair kicks in and intensifies as the story progresses. Now that chances of being rescued have completely fallen to zero, they realize that they can't ignore their growing hunger anymore. They all have no choice but to eat the flesh of the dead bodies after running out of chocolates. We see how these decisions mentally challenge some of the characters. It is truly tragic as they were stranded, isolated from the world and completely in despair in every waking day, for a span of 72 days.

After being rescued, we see just how malnourished they were from the looks of their bodies. They come back home bone-skinny and weak. And the monologue in the ending scene tells us how the survivors wondered; "Why didn't we all get to come back [home]?" "What is the meaning of it all?" These are the questions asked when we observe these raw Ketu events.

Ashwini Moon J.A. Bayona also made the film "The Impossible", which is about survival and resilience -- based on real life events. Much like "Society of the Snow", it also has a sense of complete despair and there is an involuntary separation of a family (which reminds me of "The Pianist" in which Ashwini Sun Adrien Brody's character is also separated from his family in the story).

"Nothing is more powerful than the human spirit" it writes on the poster.

"Nowhere", is directed by Ashwini Moon Albert Pintó, a survival thriller about a pregnant woman who finds herself isolated from society as she's drifting in the sea trapped inside a container. Because of her newborn baby, she is forced to survive and protect her child even when there is no hope. The reason why she's even in the container is because she was fleeing a society of a dystopian future in which women & children are caged and murdered (Ketu's oppressive forces and her attempt to run away from them leads her to total isolation which is another manifestation of Ketu).

And we also have the film "127 Hours", directed by Ashwini Moon Danny Boyle, starring Ashwini Sun James Franco who plays Aron Ralston whose right arm becomes trapped against the canyon wall when he was on a solo canyoneering trip. When he is unable to release himself, we realize the severity of his situation. He is completely isolated and alone. His own supplies running out and he's losing his mind. The struggle for survival and one's own helplessness is a theme of Ashwini nakshatra as this eventually drives one into taking extreme measures for freedom -- as the audience sees him resorting to cutting his own arm off.

These themes seem to speak of the power and resilience of the human spirit, as emphasized in "The Impossible" and "Society of the Snow". Our ability to survive even just our own personal traumas must be a testament to our spirit being an extension of the Higher Power which is behind the happenings of all of these senseless yet significant experiences and events we go through.

It is in Ashwini that one's experience through harsh forces contributes to the spirit's evolution after total annihilation, which leads us on the path towards moksha. This is particularly why I state that Ashwini must be the last nakshatra, in my opinion of course.

Ketu is very pure by nature, and it wants to destroy impurities. The repression of one's accumulated dirt can manifest in destructive tendencies, this being a misdirected flow of Ketu energies wanting to express the very raw forces we're wired to run away from. By facing one's true inner self and embracing your entirety is how you embrace Ketu in general. But one must go deep and inward. All three Ketu nakshatras deal with getting to the roots for this reason.

Ashwini is ruled by the Ashwini Kumaras, gods of medicine and healing. Also known as divine physicians. In order to heal, one must get to the root of all disturbances in order to create the perfect medicine to heal. As Ashwini is ruled by the 1H, this does involve getting into the roots of oneself for self-liberation. Magha, on the other hand, is about tracing your own existence back to the consciousness of others -- usually family members and ancestors. Magha relates to generational trauma and shining light on that in order to be freer. Mula is symbolized by the roots of a tree, and 'mula' translates to 'roots'. It signifies ancestry roots as well, but mostly the truth. Mula is where disillusionment takes place as one gets directly into the roots of everything; going right into the galactic center -- which can also signify going right into the roots of our demons and letting all of that rotting energy burn from your body. And after this purification process, one's consciousness raises by default.

Ashwini has strong, undeveloped energies which can be tamed and grounded to be properly channeled -- in order for this to be achieved, one must let go of poisonous impurities so that they're no longer controlled/possessed by unseen forces. It is in Ashwini that we expand on the interconnection of the collective consciousness being tight, as this was secretly discovered in Uttara Bhadrapada and remembered in Revati. Ashwini nakshatra is extremely sensitive to outward energies, as are the rest of the Ketu nakshatras. Every individual's consciousness is affecting the whole world somehow. This being a Ketu theme in general describes the whole energetic field of the world and how we each play a part in it and affect each other's lives. As all Ketu nakshatras deal with getting into the roots of things, we must get dirty by digging into our own roots which are connected to the reasons for our layers of repressed emotions such as rage, numbness, resentment, hatred and grief which are commonly harboured in Ketu natives. These unconscious emotions, which form our Shadow Self, contribute to how we interact with the world and other people -- and there's always that capacity to harm or further traumatize others because of our own unchecked, hidden troubles. Mula also perfectly shows how all of the complex, interconnected traumas of everyone else are intertwining and creating more chaos and confusion in society; and the disillusionment to how the oppressive systems of society are just breeding more of these pains & troubles -- which in turn, in Ketu fashion, demonstrates just how trapped everyone is.

Continued in Part 2 of this exploration

#ashwini #aries #magha #leo #mula #sagitarrius #1st house #5th house #9th house #vedic astrology #astro observations #astrology #sidereal astrology #nakshatra series #vedic observations #sidereal observations #Youtube

[the-nerdiest-insanity]

So, I have too many Dead Boy Detectives ideas and not enough time and motivation to write them. These ones are up for grabs, but I'll let you know if I ever do revisit any of these

Edwin and Crystal have to pose as a couple for a case, and neither is happy about it

There's some case involving an elite restaurant or some place where only couples can get in. Crystal pulls strings to get them in, but Charles and Niko are off investigating something else. Edwin was held back to search their books for anything. That leaves only Edwin and Crystal forced to act as a couple to get in

5 times the boy’s “old married couple” tendencies came out, and 1 time one of the boys noticed it

Could be little things like "that's Edwin's spot," or "Charles always puts his backpack there" to bigger things like being undercover on a case and accidentally winning a best couple competition

Crystal (and Niko) learning from Charles that the Cat King and Monty were just the latest in a line of broken hearts that Edwin has left. Edwin has been completely oblivious to all of them

Just love the idea of oblivious heartbreakers and Edwin definitely never notices anyone's affections unless it's very clearly spelled out for him

Desire wants to know why their sister is so fascinated with Edwin, so they catch him while he’s in Hell. Getting a confession where Desire is taunting Edwin til he spills everything… Only for Charles to be standing there, coming to rescue his best friend. Desire’s work is done, and they leave, and the boys must deal with the aftermath

Thinking like House of Hades style where Desire is more heard, but not seen as Edwin talks about Crystal and how much he is frustrated by her because he envies her. Highly recommend looking up the House of Hades Cupid Scene to get the vibe I'm talking about.

One thinks they’ve been dating for years vs we’ve never been romantically involved no matter how badly I’d love it trope with Charles and Edwin. Charles is convinced they’ve been dating for like a decade or two while Edwin is completely oblivious and badly pining. Charles “We’ve been dating for 20 years, but Edwin doesn’t like labels or touch, so he’s my best mate, and I keep my distance” Rowland vs. Edwin “I’d walk back into Hell to taste your lips and hear you call me love” Payne

Another trope I just adore that I think would be interesting with the boys. Especially since Charles just thinks it's because of how Edwin was raised or that he's just like that, and not realising the disconnect. Then, Edwin thinking the exact same about Charles. The best miscommunication version

One of the demons Edwin gets transferred to is Crowley (a token of appreciation the higher-ups say). So, Edwin gets dragged along with Crowley to stop the apocalypse (Charles would fit in there too, idk how)

Just want more Good Omens crossovers. Edwin would love to finally use his detective skills to help Crowley and Aziraphale and also finally get some fresh air. Crowley is done with Hell, but has too much of a heart to just send Edwin off to someone else who'll hurt him. Plus, Aziraphale gets attached, so what can he do

Edit: forgot to add this one originally and it's a crime

Crystal, Niko, and Charles get out that Edwin likes a boy and all come to the wrong conclusions about who

Edwin gets over his crisis faster and the others feel comfortable enough to tease him about being open about his first crush. He gives them very little information, but they all think of someone else. Charles thinks it's the Cat King, Niko thinks it's Monty, and Crystal thinks it's Charles. Chaos ensues as they all try to figure out what's true.

#fanfiction #ao3 #writing prompt #writing prompts #dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #payneland #gomens #please adopt these #i really wanna see them but don't have the time #dbda #dead boy detective agency

[koolades-world]

I absolutely LOVE your headcanons esp the Indian ones they make me feel quite seen even if I'm from a country that have super similar cultures (Mauritius) 💗🫶

But now I have to ask, I'm the eldest cousin so whenever there's a family gathering I'm usually the one stuck looking after all of my little cousins so if I brought one of the brothers with me they would all be wondering who he is to me and would interview him just being like, "Are you his boyfriend?!?!?!"

Any chance I could get any headcanons for the brothers for this? Completely okay if you can't!

hello! yes of course :)

this request was send in more recently but I just got back from a family gathering (as of 5/25 this is very prewritten haha) and got a fresh taste of this because im the eldest cousin too! i understand your pain haha. all of my cousins are little. chasing after kids you sometimes barely know the name of in a sari, lehenga, or salwar kameez is no fun

god this will be so fun to write!! (there’s still a whole bunch of random aunties, uncles and little kids at the house so I’m hiding since I don’t get to leave until tomorrow) like yesterday, most of this was written on mobile since I’m traveling so excuse autocorrect please :)

enjoy <3

Mc who babysits their younger cousins at a family gathering w/ the brothers

Lucifer

he’s getting war flashbacks /j haha and it’s written all over his face

he left home to get away from his brothers and basically entered an environment that’s exactly the same but with easily one hundred times the people

he’s almost impressed on their ability to never shut up and now knows why you’re so good at handling his family

however, he is dadcifer™️ so he’s great with the kids, and will try his best to answer their questions, even ones regarding your relationship status

Mammon

nothing gets past kids, and they can sense his weakness when he’s talking about you. they are ruthless

before they can break him, you have to step in and tell them to pick one question each to ask. he’s not sure how you’re corralled them so well, or how you can even tell some of them apart to the point of reprimanding them for tricking him. no wonder you can keep his family in line

once he realizes your job isn’t over until the night ends and their parents come to get their kids, he tries to sneak off a few times, but he always ends up with a couple shadows and has to come back

eventually he’s resigned to his fate, and finds he much prefers the cute little babies since they’re more than happy to mess with his jewelry, and he gets to pinch their cute little chubby cheeks <3

Levi

as much as he hates it, the kids love him and whatever device he brought along to play with

after promising to replace anything they break, he sits down and plays games with them and finds out he actually enjoys it

the older ones actually engage in the game with him and ask him game related questions, which he's more than happy to answer, and the younger ones can be handed a disconnected controller and still be kept happy

this is to the point where the kids actually forget to question him about who he is, and only ask if he'll be at the next event. who is he to say no?

Satan

you’re prepared, and he thinks he is too until he gets there haha. but, he keeps it together and adapts well

you’ve thought of just about everything, from wearing extra, cheaper bangles to hand to them to keep them happy to man knowing every trick in the book to get them to finish their dinner and he can only hope to reach that level someday

he's very collected though, he tries his best to deflect their questions and keep them off that topic

however, part of him knows that's impossible and eventually he caves and just answers the questions to the best of his ability, hoping you aren't listening. never have you seen him so out of his element

Asmo

if it’s a dry event and for some reason isn’t on the dance floor, or there wasn’t one to begin with, he’s so in love with the job you hate so much haha

he’s so attentive with the kids and adores them. he’s got lots of tricks up his sleeve to keep them entertained

of course, he owns it when one kid asks if he’s your boyfriend and proudly tells them yes, he is, (even if he’s not) and answers any other questions they have even if you’re embarrassed

now, the kids look forward to seeing him and expect him everytime

Beel

he’s very chill and almost finds it enjoyable, mostly there to keep you from losing your mind

when the kids eventually decide the food they picked out wasn’t what they wanted, and instead whatever he’s eating, he’s more than happy to share with them. after, they’re you’re flesh and blood, so they’re his family too

of course he’s their jungle gym and he takes turns tossing them in the air, and giving piggy back rides

he’s not quite sure how to respond to all of their questions, but as long as you’re alright with it, he’ll answer honestly

Belphie

as a youngest himself, he’s overwhelmed. is this what he’s like?

the kids won’t let him sneak away to nap, because they’re hyper aware of everything and will catch him

honestly, he’s more annoyed than anything, but he might take a liking to a few and spend all his time with them. he feels like he’s being attacked by all the questions

he’s a lot nicer to you after that, since he realized that’s your life, and he only got a small taste of it

#obey me #obey me! #obey me x reader #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me belphie #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date #obey me! shall we date? #obey me asmodeus #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

[ashirisu]

hey, everyone!

My name is Ley (pronounced like "Lee," she/they) and I'm a fiction writer/editor based in the PNW. I haven't done a proper writeblr intro in a while, so I figure the new year is a great time to reintroduce myself to the community!

— about me

An important thing to understand about me and the way I talk about writing is that this stuff is literally my entire life. Even outside of work, I don't think I have a single interest or hobby that doesn't relate back to storytelling in some capacity. I'm an avid media consumer and critic, and will hyperanalyze just about anything that catches my fancy for more than a minute.

I love science fiction and fantasy, and my goal as a writer is to take all the genres I loved growing up and create stories that are a little more diverse, inclusive, and queer.

— about the blog

I came to writeblr mostly to share my work, but also to find an active community where I can get excited with other writers and talk shop. Marketing is obviously a really important part of the publishing industry, but I get tired of having to filter every thought I have about my work and experiences through the lens of aesthetic micro-trends just to put it out in the world. Sometimes I just want to pop off about scenes I'm proud of, you know?

Above all else, I really just want to connect with more writers like myself, ones who got their start in fandom spaces and are working to take their writing from a hobby into a career. I see you, I am you, I love you, let's be friends!

— about my writing

I write a lot, though most of it is disconnected nonsense. Flash fiction and short stories are where I really thrive as a writer. I don't tend to commit to long-form projects, but I have a few projects that I'll occasionally share details about!

I like to describe my style as "earnest and character-forward," which is a fancy way of saying that I like driven protagonists who think too much and are emotional to the point of it being a character flaw.

My goal is to share more of my original writing moving forward, so hopefully you'll get to see all of this for yourself. If I'm totally honest, though, you'll probably see more of me discussing my work than actually writing it.

— about my projects

Here are the things you'll most likely see me posting about:

Agnomen: A sci-fi retelling of Hamlet and Coriolanus, currently in its very preliminary stages. It is literally my Roman Empire, except it's set on a moon of a planet that I'm calling Jupiter as a placeholder (but please note that it isn't actually Jupiter, as Jupiter is a gas giant and therefore a scientifically impossible setting for large sections of the plot).

Alter Ego: A superhero fic in which not-so-mild-mannered reporter Drew Derrick fights for mutant rights and can't seem to get his act together when it comes to keeping the complicated parts of his life separate.

Untitled Fantasy Project: The very first project I ever wrote, and the piece I return to every so often when writing is feeling more like a slog than a fun hobby. I set a lot of one-offs in this world and follow a few key characters around without them having a real plot.

D&D: I write a lot about Baz, my Wild Magic Barbarian. He's a regency noble with a lot of problems, and I care about him very much. I also have various other settings and characters, but he's my most active PC at the moment and therefore gets the most attention.

Short Stories: Sometimes I write these, and sometimes I like them enough to share!

— tag directory

ley rambles: my (often wordy) opinions about things

ley writes: not necessarily my writing, but talking about my writing

my writing: stories, blurbs, and other content I've written

not my writing: reblogs and creative writing that I liked, shared, and sometimes commented on

#also i am open to asks and tag games! #looking forward to getting to know you all #writeblr intro #writeblr #writing #creative writing #writing community

[gyll-yee-haw]

can you write an angsty smut that obviously has a happy fluff ending (because my heart wouldn't handle if it didn't) where the reader ends up getting hurt during sex and uses their safe word? You can choose the man 🤭 I was thinking loki or Jake but it can really be any of his characters

I'm gonna be honest, idk about this one, it got... personal 😖

But I hope you like it, baby <3

Warnings: blood, mentions of a terrible ex-boyfriend (implied SA, but not described), use of safeword, lots of angst with a happy ending <3

Like 2.3k words

---

You knew David had one of those days at the station by the way he barely spoke before he was all over you.

It wasn't uncommon for him to come home from work and immediately start a make out session. Somedays he would drop to his knees and eat you out for hours. Sometimes he would rip your clothes off and manhandle you like a doll... doggie style was his favorite for this occasions.

That's where you found yourself now. It was very late and you were very tired. Still, when he walked into the room, you knew you weren't going to sleep so soon.

You didn't mind. Obviously, even when he acted like that, he always, always made sure you came. Made sure you felt really good... he didn't ignore for a second the spots he knew you liked. Pleasing you was probably the part that calmed him down the most.

But tonight you didn't really... feel like it? It was weird, David always lighted up a flame in you with the touch of his hand. And that's why you allowed him to do what he needed to do. Well... you wouldn't have to do anything, just... let him have his way, and you would get tons of pleasure from it, so why not?

You weren't sure why not... why you were not wet. Why the pain was so unbearable when he entered you. It hurt more that your first time with him.

"Ouch!" You complained.

"Sorry, baby, just..." He tried to start moving, but the friction was just... so uncomfortable. "Are you okay?"

He thought all he had to do was prepare you better. He spit on his fingers and began to stroke your clit. But God, it felt TERRIBLE.

He pulled out. Shoved two fingers inside. Your head started to spin. You were almost disgusted by it all... so overwhelmed... the room was suddenly too hot and you couldn't breath...

"RED!" You yelled.

David froze. You had agreed on a safe word very early on the relationship, since you had... a little trouble with intimacy. But it never even crossed your mind using it... you never needed it. What the hell was going on? He removed his fingers quickly, and sat you up, desperately looking for any signs of bruises on your body.

"Dave..." you called, feeling sick.

His eyes followed your gaze to the sheets under you. There was blood. Not a lot of it, but still... it triggered your most horrible memories. And David knew that.

Before you were able to give yourself completely to him, you confessed that you didn't have the best experience with intimacy during your previous relationship. Your ex just didn't know how to get you into it and you were too afraid of saying no to him most of the time, scared he wouldn't love you anymore... and all that caused you to get hurt sometimes. Bleeding was almost routine in your sexual life. But it never had happened ONCE while you were with David. He was the complete opposite from your abusive ex. He cared about your pleasure more than about his own. He never forced you to do anything. He studied every little reaction from your body, to know what you liked. And he never made you afraid to tell him how you felt. But seeing that little red stain on the mattress made you sick. No, this can't be happening again...

"Fuck, baby, I'm so sorry, hey... look at me, please..." The pain in his voice was obvious. He was thinking the same thing as you. He hated your ex more than you. When you told him about all the things he did, he wanted to kill him. And now... he was disgusted with himself.

You were numb. You didn't even want to cry. You simply disconnected from reality. You weren't sure how much time passed, but the growing desperation in David's voice indicated it was a lot.

"Talk to me, please, please, baby..." He grabbed the sheets tightly, his knuckles turning white. He wanted to grab you instead, bring you close and apologize for hours, but he wasn't sure if it was okay to touch you.

"You said..." Your voice was low and weak as you spoke. "You said this would never happen to me again."

"Angel..." Part of him was relieved that you spoke, but those were definitely the most painful words he had ever heard. "I can't tell you how fucking sorry I am."

"Want to be alone." You requested, emotionless.

"No..." He shook his head. "I can't leave you alone like this, you're not okay, baby, let me help, please..."

"Just need some time." You insisted, not looking him in the eye.

You went through so many things during these years you and David had been together. And during every single one of them, he was there to help. But how could he help now, when it was all his fault? That's all he could think of. Of course you wouldn't want him around. You're a fragile, precious flower, while he's was a violent, cruel, heartless man... he thought he could leave all that at the station everyday to come home to you, but he can't. That's who he is.

"Alright." He whispered, getting out of bed. He fixed his clothes and his first instinct was to kiss your forehead as he stood up beside you. But he couldn't do that. He felt like you would break if he touched you. And the worst part was that you felt the same way.

He walked away from the room, and you waited until he shut the door behind him to let the tears fall. You were so confused. He hurt you. Never in a million years you'd imagine that.

At the same time... it wasn't like it used to be with your ex. He stopped immediately when you asked. He didn't know... still, should he be this rough without a warning? Shouldn't he check for signs before anything? Was it fair to be the one he used to relieve his anger when you weren't the one who made him mad?

Well... it can be hot sometimes. When you are in the right mood, it's something you really enjoy... and you have a safe word for times like this, so... can you blame him? How would he know this time was different?

It was all too confusing and you had no idea how you actually felt. You didn't know what to do. You trusted David with your entire heart and you knew that he would take a bullet for you, it was obvious he didn't do it on purpose. But miscommunication is the most dangerous thing in a relationship and you can't let that happen again.

You stood up and removed the stained sheets from the bed, putting all of your anger on this task. Then you put on your clothes and sat on the floor, beside the discharged sheets. You were so mad that your past continued to haunt you. That it was affecting David, who had done nothing but help you heal. Now he wasn't there with you because of the crimes of another man.

You cried until you were exhausted, and ended up falling asleep right there on the floor.

When you opened your eyes, you were lost. You didn't remember why you were on the floor until you saw the sheets. You shivered. How much time had passed? Where was David?

You gathered all your strength to stand up and opened the bedroom door. The house was completely dark. Shit. What if he got himself in trouble somewhere? If he had left the house on the state he was earlier... he probably would.

Then you heard something. The TV. You rushed downstairs. David was asleep on the sofa. You sighed and walked towards him. Kneeling on the floor, you placed your hand softly on his face. But he was absolutely exhausted, he didn't wake up. You felt you were going to cry again. He was so beautiful... even though you hardly saw him looking this peaceful while he was awake.

You laid on top of him on the sofa, snuggling on his chest, legs intertwined with his. He still didn't wake up. It was crazy to think that man would ever hurt you... you never felt as safe as whenever you could feel him like this. You fell asleep again.

When he woke up, if it wasn't for the tears on his shirt, he would have thought it was all a nightmare and none of that actually happened. His body was tense under yours, he still wasn't very comfortable with touching you again.

"Y/N..." He called, hands slowly caressing your arms, trying to wake you up as gently as possible.

You opened your eyes, but it was quite hard to adjust... they were swollen from crying so much.

"Dave." You said, sitting up. He followed your movements, sitting beside you. "Dave, listen... I'm so sorry, I..."

"Don't you dare." He interrupted. "Don't you dare apologize."

"I overreacted." You insisted.

"No, you didn't." He took a deep breath. "I fucking hurt you. Could have been a lot worse."

"But it wasn't." You furrowed your eyebrows. "We have a safe word. I used it and... that's it, it's okay now. It didn't end up badly."

"How can you say it didn't end up badly?" He shook his head. "It ended up with you fucking bleeding and crying. Fuck, I'll never be able to get out of my head that look in your eyes... fucking scared of me."

"I'm not scared of you. If you put that gun against my head I wouldn't be scared. I trust you." You assured him. "I just panicked... got... bad memories. That look in my eyes wasn't for you, was for my past."

"I brought it back." He reached on his pockets for his cigarettes. David never smoked inside the house, but by the way his hands were shaking, you could see he was nervous.

"Well, I..." You were desperately looking for the right words to calm him down. "If I had used the safe word earlier, this wouldn't have happened. It's not your fucking fault, David."

"Yeah? Then why didn't you?" He replied, cigarette in his mouth, looking for his lighter. "Fuck..."

"Fucking look at me." You grabbed the cigarette from his mouth and threw it on the floor.

It was the adrenaline. You didn't think before doing it. He looked at you absolutely stunned. No one dared to say a word.

"Right... I can see you're not scared." He finally broke the silence.

You started laughing. Hard. Was it that funny or was that nervousness? It didn't matter, because it put a smile on his face.

"I'm sorry... I was just trying to be heard." You shrugged.

"Well..." He went back to a more serious tone. "Then why don't you answer my question? Why didn't you tell me to stop earlier? You didn't even need to say the safe word, if you just told me 'no', I wouldn't... I wouldn't have laid a finger on you, you know that, right?"

"I do." You replied. "I really do, I swear... but I... I guess I didn't realize how I really felt until it was too late, you know? I was happy that you were home and I wanted you around... wanted you to touch me and you know I like it when you're rough, so... I was confused. It wasn't anyone's fault. Specially not yours, okay?"

"I don't know..." He looked at the cigarette on the floor. "I feel like I could have read the situation a little better, you know?"

"You stopped when I asked you to stop, that's all you could have done." You grabbed his hand, caressing it with your thumb. "Everything else that happened... could only be avoided if you changed my past."

"I could still kill him." He joked. Or at least you hoped he was joking...

"Does that change the past?" You rolled your eyes.

"No, but it would be pretty fucking satisfying." He shrugged. "You know, I don't believe in this kind of justice. I promise I never killed anyone, but... for you? I wouldn't think twice."

"Well, you don't have to." You got closer, sitting on his lap and placing both hands on each side of his face. "What really helps me get through it all is all the love you've given me. All the respect. Just how fucking much you care... nothing else is gonna fix me. The way you made me believe that I deserve to be loved and taken care of... and that there are good people out there."

"That just can't happen again, baby... I can't do it." He sent you a pleading look.

"It won't, look..." You promised him. "If I ever feel uncomfortable again, I'll tell you right away, okay?"

"Please." His voice came out so weak. "If I hurt you I will never be able to live with myself."

"You won't hurt me. That isn't you." You assured him. "You're gentle and sweet... even when you're rough, I promise I always feel safe."

"I don't think I'll ever be that rough again." His eyes widened.

"David. Don't say that." You almost whined. "I want you to!"

"Y/N..." He sighed. "Let's just... take a break from that, okay?"

"Hm." You smirked. "Okay, baby, I'm not complaining about making sweet love to my wonderful boyfriend... it's just that... when I want it rough... I'm gonna tease you until I get it. I know how to break you, you know that."

"For fucks sake... you're a fucking menace." He rubbed his face with his hands. "Where's my cigarette?"

"Come and get it..." You giggled.

[prospectivehero]

BATMAN: WAYNE FAMILY ADVENTURES VOLUME 1- Written by C.R.C. Payne, Illustrated by Starbite

Usually when I think about an analysis of anything I'm reading I ask myself, "How did this story make me feel?" There have been several comics I don't write anything about because the story did nothing for me good or bad. But if a story makes me feel good or bad, I want to discuss why. While I felt many things as I read through these quirky, disconnected stories, I was struck by a theory about Batman/Bruce Wayne's writing that I've been building recently.

As a Batman enthusiast with an associate degree in Batmanology, I love exploring Bruce Wayne's character. He is a man with no superhuman abilities. Yet, he has the experience and intelligence to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with a demigoddess and an alien who pulls his punches. He takes on the burden of Gotham City's future, alone if he has to. It's easy to characterize Bruce as only dark, brooding, broken, and unfixable. But, as I've argued before, the best of him is his mercy, humanity, and compassion. Wayne Family Adventures highlights this through the scope of fatherhood. Instead of focusing on the streets of Gotham, the reader is shown the domestic scope of Bruce Wayne's life through the stories of his adopted family. This is truly a story about the batfamily as a whole, but the fact that they are a family is crucial.

In Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Bruce reflects briefly on his current protege, Carrie Kelly, as Robin. In this comic, Bruce is aged. He is aware that his limited time on earth is shortened further by his antics. The future of Gotham wouldn't matter to him after he passes, but this young woman who was inspired to take the Robin gauntlet has a future ahead of her. And here we have Bruce's motive. He doesn't fight crime to save the now. He does it to save the future of everyone in Gotham. His adopted family is emblematic of this. Dick Grayson, Cassandra Cain, Damien Wayne, and Katherine Kane all have a future. Because of Bruce's compassion and personal code, many citizens of Gotham, even villains that he's refused to kill, have an opportunity for hope. In the same way, he's changed the futures of lost and scared children by being an example of humanity.

I can't say enough good things about this comic. It embodies all of the things I often defend in Batman stories. It's a charming and empathetic look at redemption and hope in very diverse characters. It's one of the best examples of the good that can come from Batman, the superhero.

TRIGGER WARNINGS (with potential spoilers) -

1) Warm and Fluffy - This comic spends little time on Gotham streets and focuses instead on interpersonal conflicts and their resolutions. There are more hugs than punches, which may be frustrating for those looking for more crime-fighting and action.

2) Blatant Flanderization - There are many quirky character moments inspired by sometimes brief moments in related comics. While this is done for character flavor and humor, it could be frustrating if that isn't your mug of Mountain Dew.

#wayne family adventures #batmanology #batfam #character analysis #future hero theory #batman #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #dick grayson #nightwing #duke thomas #the signal #damian wayne #robin #tim drake #red robin #casandra cain #orphan #jason todd #red hood #barbara gordon #oracle #stephanie brown #spoiler

[shadowxamyweek]

Is Shadow being immortal canon? I thought it was just a generally accepted headcanon by the fandom

...Yes?

The pause and questionmark are not directed at you, they are directed at Sega.

I confess, I'm a bit of a stickler for what lore I consider canon. If it's in the games, it's canon to me. If it's anything outside of the games, including the game manuals themselves... then it's not.

I have such a narrow-bracket view of the story and these characters due to two things:

1: There seems to be a disconnect between the different 'branches' of the Sonic Franchise. There's the Shadow we see in games, there's the Shadow we see in marketing and social media (like Twitter Takeover), There's the Shadow we see in IDW, and then there is the Shadow we see Sega write about in character profiles like on Sonic Chanel and the official Sonic the Hedgehog website. This exists with all the characters to a degree, but I feel Shadow presents an egregious case of it. 2: Sega has a tendency to retcon things or change their language or act like stuff didn't happen and... I don't like it XD But they can't change games that have already been published and played. As such, to me, in-game dialog/play/story/etc is the crowning jewel of truth within the Sonic story.

But that these are *my* paramaters. They do not have to be *your* parameters.

So while there hasn't been any mention of immortality *in game*, there has been plenty *outside* of it. Lots of different official Sega sources say Shadow is 'immortal', but no examples or specifications have been provided in game. There's also plenty of times the whole 'immortality' portion is omitted. Most noticeably, it's not mentioned in the Sonic Channel character profile, nor the character profile provided on the official Sonic the Hedgehog website. At best, it is mentioned intermittently in game manuals and external sources.

(And I know we see Shadow in stasis in 06- I'm aware- but I'll also point out we don't know *when* he went into stasis. Furthermore, I cannot help but wonder if, much like Black Doom in SHtH, Mephiles took a portion of truth and twisted it to scare Shadow. (Also, like.... Shadow was under such heavy security when GUN put him down for an ice nap the first time. Why would they just leave him out and about like was shown in 06? I doubt the truth of what Mephiles shows Shadow.))

I actually reached out to @squid-in-a-party-hat, @fyeahsonicthehedgehog (x), and @forgottensonicfacts (x), as well as some friends of mine like @shadamyheadcanons for help collecting information to provide you with as well-rounded answer/opinion as I can. In fact, Squid has a video on this very subject XD They do a great job of weaving together all the different types of canon (comic, anime, social media, etc) so if that's how you prefer to operate, I really, really recommend them.

Anyway, Here are some game manual examples in chronological order.

SA2 (2001):

Sonic Heros (2003):

And...I want to take a moment to show something interesting between the original Japanese and the English translation. The japanese translation says 'unaging and undying' which gives us narrower guidelines, but the Heros profile is the only time I've seen that.

Shadow the Hedgehog (2005):

Which OUT OF ALL OF THEM you'd think it would be mentioned in his title game but like... *gestures*

Sonic 06 (2006):

Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games (2020):

Then there are these online examples, stemming from both Sonic Chanel and the Sonic the Hedgehog Website. They are both officially owned and operated by Sega/Sonic Team. Note they don't mention his age or the immortality at all.

Sonic Chanel, 2007:

Sonic Chanel, 2010:

Sonic Chanel, 2022:

This is the character profile put up on the Sonic the Hedgehog website 2024, separate from Sonic Channel but still official.

(In talking to @forgottensonicfacts- I had asked about times Shadow had been called 'ageless' or '50.' Turns out the 'ageless' bit was written in a Scholastic's book and, so far as anyone has found.. there is no official mention of Shadow being listed as '50 years old.' I had been so sure it had been officially listed at one point in time. Really glad to be wrong on that one, frankly, because that would have been daft XD)

So this is what we have about Shadow's 'immortality' that has been put out by Sega themselves. Not the comics, not the media team, just Sega/Sonic Team.

Now... this is where I pick apart that word 'Immortal' and broaden the scope a bit.

Not to be 'that bastard,' but I popped on to the Oxford Dictionary just to get a concrete definition for you and they define the adjective use of the word as being, "living forever; never dying or decaying."

1- Shadow's already almost died. He *would* have died were it not for Eggman saving his sorry ass. We know this. It's a whole-ass plot point in his story because it's due to this he ends up with amnesia.

2- Even though Gerald was tinkering with immortality, that doesn't mean he succeeded. We also don't know how that immortality would look/work/act like.

3- In Sonic Battle (for Gameboy), several of the characters have a healing ability. Shadow is one of them. However, Shadow's healing ability is one of if not *the worst in the game.* Also, in the story itself, he get shot and is down for the count *for a while*.

4- We have not seen any of the characters physically change in game save for the big age up/design shift that happened when Sonic went 3d in Adventure. As such, we cannot personally test/see whether or not Shadow goes through any changes at all, be them aging or just changes to their body.

So... all in all... I feel this leaves a huge amount of room for interpretation.

Maybe Shadow isn't immortal after all. Nothing spectacular, it's just that portion of the Ultimate Life Form project didn't succeed.

Maybe the 'immortality' is his healing factor, and it needs to willfully be employed. As such, if Shadow WANTS to age, they need to intentionally and willfully allow themselves to do so by NOT employing the healing factor.

Maybe the 'immortality', being the healing factor, can wear down/slow down over time, especially due to overuse.

Maybe Shadow can live forever barring any really traumatic physical harm, but their body will physically change over time.

Maybe Shadow is immortal like how Oxford puts it, but there is a way to stop that perminantly if they so choose (like genetic therapy).

Maybe Shadow is immortal in the sense that they will never physically age, grow, or change. Ever.

Truthfully, that's pretty cool! Like, this gives people a lot of stuff to work with and play around with, compare notes, talk- that's the fun part of fandom! And no singular person is right! @shadamyheadcanons has this one that's fun. I personally like the idea that Shadow's 'immortality' wears down over time and gets weird, causing their Black Arms genetics to kick off (like a third eye ooooough gimmie gimmie gimmie.)

I don't know if this was the answer you were looking for. Perhaps I've just confused things further- I've been known to do that XD

Ultimately, what I'm trying to say is- it's whatever you want it to be, and nobody can stop you <3 So go have fun!

#shadow the hedgehog #shth #sonic #sega #anon #ask #op rambles #lore #thoughts #I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you #There's been a lot going on- but I really wanted to give you as well rounded an answer as I possibly could

[nono-bunny]

The musical motifs, or lack thereof, of Kataang

@sokkastyles answered an ask about an anti-Zutara claiming that the Omashu story is about Kataang, which like, obviously anyone in the Zutara circles would realize is ridiculous, and they do a great job at articulating why, so go check that out! But the thing about the original claim that got me, though, was the mention of the Kataang theme. They mention having to look it up and finding it unremarkable, and this is where our experiences differ, I suppose- because for... whatever reason, I know EXACTLY what song that is, and as a song on its own? I like it a lot! It's very memorable for me, and I think it might be the only song on the OST I actually know the name of off the top of my head- The Avatar's Love. That said, it is... A complete failure at being a Kataang song- it's an Aang one.

It's important to note that I don't have an understanding/interest in music in the same way I do with writing, so I fully might be talking out of my ass or missing something, but... If I as a layperson can notice that something's off here, that still seems like something, and honestly I'd really love it for people who know more about music theory and whatnot to chime in here and give their takes on it!

So. The Avatar's Love. Pretty straightforward name! Aspects of it are present throughout the show in different variations, and I believe this version, which is the one usually referred to, was taken from the end of the final episode. Aang is the Avatar, and he loves Katara, therefore one would think the song would be about Katara, or the two of them, right? Especially since it's playing when they get together! Well, actually, it's... Not. The song itself is beautiful, it's tender and gentle and has a sense of something growing throughout, and it's very believable as a song for Aang's growing feelings... For the first half of it. Honestly, because there's no official recording of this song yet, I'm not sure the second half of it is even the same song, but I've seen it included and excluded equally so for now I'll just treat it as if it is... Because weirdly enough, the first half, the one that most feels like its about romance and growing feelings- that plays over the expanded gaang's hijinks, and the second half is the part that actually plays when Aang and Katara get together.

Why is the second half a weird thing to play during the scene of Kataang getting together, then? Well, the second half kind of swerves and changes course a couple of times, introducing something different each time: once at 0:58, into something that istg was often used to close out an episode with the gaang flying away on Appa- arguably has to do with Katara because she's a part of the gaang, but it's definitely not about her specficially. Another is at 1:26, which briefly gives off an Iroh feel for whatever reason (as evidenced by all the comments about him in what is meant to be the Kataang song- this is a version that doesn't even have the tsungi horn which he plays over the song in the final episode!) before quickly ramping up to a very hopeful, almost ethereal sound that becomes what I think is a variation of the main theme... Because this is literally the thing that's closing out the show, and they had to get that in there ig.

So... Yeah, there's very little that evokes Katara in there, actually, if there's anything at all. There are two very distinct parts to it, neither of which is about Katara- one of them at least absolutely feels like it could be about Aang's feelings, though! But the other is a mix of several different other high impact songs, and is very obviously only there to close out the show and evoke positive emotions to supplement these two getting together completely out of nowhere- like, to the point where if you're just listening to it, it feels completely disconnected from the other half and leaves you confused at the change, because it needed to correspond with what's happening on screen when it's playing because there's no dialogue there, but you're not getting that context so thematically it's just kind of a confusing transitional mess, even if it sounds really good. I like the first half a lot, and even if it's only about Aang's feelings it at least feels relevant, but the second half is... Not great at being a theme for these two. This is a song about Aang's feelings for Katara, about winning and getting the girl, and there are virtually no traces of her presence here.

What does a song about Katara sound like, then? Well, I'm super glad you asked!

Literally nothing like the song that's meant to be a representation of her and Aang's relationship! Until 1:24 where the iconic Avatar theme briefly comes into play, that's... Something? After all it also appears in The Avatar's Love! But it's not in there because of her, it's in both because it's just... One of the sounds that feature frequently in the soundtrack, because it's the main fucking theme of the show.

What about Aang? What does his song sound like? Is his sound actually more present in The Avatar's Love?

Of course it is, because you see, Aang's theme fully IS just the main theme. He is well and fully represented in The Avatar's Love, while no trace of Katara's theme makes an appearance there, aside from the main theme, which is actually just Aang's theme.

Btw, remember those ethereal sounds that I mentioned appear towards the end of The Avatar's Love? You know where else they appear?

That's right. The main title theme. To be fair, it IS narrated by Katara, which is... Something, I guess? Except... You listen to this song and hear Katara, but the words are all about Aang- Aang's gonna save the world, everybody, he's the Avatar! And... Katara is here to tell his story, I guess? This is the theme that closes out their "love story"- a story which is wholly centered around Aang.

So. Yeah. I think I've made it pretty clear by this point why I think The Avatar's Love does a bad job as the Kataang theme. I've never been and never will be a Kataang fan, but to bring it back to the post that inspired this one for a sec, for me what made the difference between not being a fan/preferring something else and actively disliking the ship is the lack of reciprocity that at its core stems from Bryke being idiots who wanted to have a will they/won't they without knowing how to make the eventual "they will" make sense.

This whole thing is absolutely not a slight against Jeremy Zuckerman, who I think did a fantastic job with scoring ATLA- the Kataang theme turning out like it did isn't his fault. Case in point, the Aang part of it is fantastic! But when the show had to bend over backwards to make Kataang happen very suddenly at the last second, in the closing shot of the show, my guess is that he had a choice to make- is this going to be a song about Aang and Katara coming together, or about ending the story with Aang fulfilling his destiny and getting his happy ending? And of course he chose the latter! Because the way Bryke wrote the story, there was no room for the former, there was no room for considering Katara outside of her attachment to Aang. That was never what Kataang was about, that's why she's barely a factor in their song- for Kataang to happen, Katara has to be taken out of the equation.

The Avatar's Love is not about the person the Avatar loves or even the love they share with each other, it's only about Aang and his feelings for Katara. It's not about a mutual relationship or even mutual feelings, it's about yearning and achieving your destiny... And then, and only then, getting The Girl.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #anti kataang #anti bryke #atla critical #Youtube

[underdark-dreams]

Can you please talk about your writing! how you write and revise and where you get your inspiration you are just so amazing! I could use some tips to get my writing to the next level. maybe some fic recs you find inspiring as well? only if you want too.

I sat on this ask for a while to mull it over, so thanks for your patience! I can definitely talk about my general process and link some fics that have inspired me.

I've also answered some other asks about writing process and technique. You can read those here if you like:

Emotional and feelings-focused writing

Writing descriptively

Fic writing: general process

First, it's good to have your opening and your ending in mind before you start. Even if it's just:

OC walks into Sorcerous Sundries

Rolan and OC fall asleep together

If you have the bookends, it's a lot easier to find the story's beats in the middle. (Or decide that you can't find the path from A to B after all & need to change one of them around)

Once I have those two down, I usually write out the main beats of the story next. These will be the parts that excite you most as a writer!! Like, they make you giddy to write about! Getting these down on paper has ALWAYS given me a burst of momentum to get through the drier/connecting bits.

So I encourage you to write out the story events/scenes that make you most excited first. Exposition will come later! Don't worry about 'setting things up' right now, unless you really want to start there. Remember that your first draft only has to make sense to you.

Inspiration

Damn if I could bottle the answer to this one, I'd be set for life! lmao

A lot of people start writing first and find the inspiration along the way. It's a valid and effective method!

I usually wait for ideas to come to me first, and they usually come when I'm totally disconnected from my writing computer. I swear, my strongest ideas for a fic setup or interesting scene always come when I'm at work or vacuuming or some crap

Best advice I can give is to keep a notes app on your phone or something similar. Rotate your characters around in your mind while you're doing other random life things, and good ideas will usually come to you. Jot down the framework or some dialogue or whatever strikes you before you forget it, then revisit it when you have more time.

Revising and editing

I'm one of those writers who edits a ton as they go, instead of drafting out a story and revising in one go. So this part is kind of difficult for me to answer...the two processes are unfortunately so interconnected in my head!

The main thing is to make sure you give yourself a few days between writing and doing your final edit. Even if you've been revising along the way, taking some time away from your fic lets you gain a fresh perspective.

I will admit, I also keep thesaurus.com open in a tab at all times. Like. I am addicted to finding just the right word

As with all of the above, your mileage may vary! The right technique is the one that gets you writing and creating. 💯

Fic Recs

Here's a list from back in December! Still in love with all of these!

Also:

Deeply and Immovably So by Cometra / @dutifullylazybread - Absolutely required reading for any Rolan x Tav fans! Tav is AFAB/she/her. Darcy's worldbuilding and imagery is incredible, very deep and meaningful. Just all-around excellence!

verso by aes3plex - Zevlor x m!Tav oneshot. This story like...made me understand who Zevlor was as a character. I don't know how else to describe it. Really wonderful backstory threaded through a present-day encounter with some of the best prose ever. Love!

But I will admit, I grew up reading Trek fics, and those stories and writers have stayed with me longer than anything else. I think old fandom + huge universe + writers with sheer decades of experience in fanon have a lot to do with the quality of writing there. Not relevant to BG3 but has definitely shaped how I write today!

#rebgrrl writes #underdark-dreams asks #writing process

[laylawatermelon]

I have thoughts about this ep...

(It's not good... But not bad)

911's writing of this storyline seems to be teetering in the wrong direction and it may cause a disconnect with some viewers.

Hi! I literally took a nap and woke up with an essay 🙃.

But let's get to the good stuff.

This season has been phenomenal. The acting and writing has all been consistent with the original past 4 seasons. (Season 5 and 6 were good just had a different tone)

This has been due to the show runner returning.

Now that we've gotten all the facts out of the way here's my opinion.

I'll be honest, the twin/lookalike story that came up is causing me to pull away and not in a good way.

If I objectively look at it as a fan this cones out of left field and may intrigue a set of fans. Those fans are likely in the higher age range. (Nothing wrong with it but just an observation)

(i keep up with updates online so it didn't bother me that much)

But for me as I was watching it and the scene came up and then The Grey's Anatomy came up I don't know why but a flash pinged in my brain of this feels like a Telenovela/Soap Opera.

And it is in fact a storyline commonly used or mentioned of the long lost twin or the doppelganger who's back to destroy, seduce, etc. to shake up the main characters life.

I will say that what 9-1-1 has been doing is a good job between toeing the line between supernatural and realistic.

This is leaning a bit to close to the former and can lose some people.

(i will say that this storyline isn't hitting like it usually does the others, even if I wasn't an buddie fan. Hell as an Eddie fan I'm still confused)

The tone of the show this season has been lighter so of course the storylines do reflect that.

My only gripe is what makes 9-1-1 compelling in the first place is the odd fact that the characters don't die and they're realistic (enough) in their cases and drama.

They're gripping enough that they can use these cliches to grip the audience backed by stellar performances and direction.

I just don't like the soap opera-y feeling I got from the trope. (Personal preference what can I say)

Now the next episode will probably expand on this storyline and will cause the conclusion to be touching and heartfelt.

I'm just a bit sour about the lead up to it because it's like oh this woman who looks exactly like my deceased/missing partner appears in the same vicinity as me (despite living in a very big very populated state) so I must get to know her better. I end up throwing away my morals and then something bizarre happens and then something else happens and I find out she's insert - (illusion/twin/stalker/literally anything out of pocket you can think of).

The audience swoons because of course she is (bad/evil/plotting etc).

It's not gripping me.

Emotionally however I'm intrigued how this will eventually effect Christopher as it he sees her he's screwed for life.

In addition to his dad talking to her in the first place, therefore unintentionally enforcing his women all leave/slight lack of respect for their feelings as they're replaceable (she would literally replace his mom in name and face) or disposable (Marisol as the woman left behind).

Yes Eddie's happy but he's also being more reckless than he usually is.

He's always been aiming to find what they had but his actions have implications.

(imma put on my buddie hat for a second this is all/j)

Like how he leaves his son with his dad and goes on a date with another person constantly. 😤 Rude

(no lie they are good coparents though even if they are platonic. They work better than some romantic straight families on tv)

Back to analysis mode though, this action has dangerous implications on both how relationship with Christopher and how he can harm him and eventually how their relationship can decline because of this.

It's not just the disloyalty to both his current partner and son but the example he'll be setting.

Chris probably may end up listening to Buck more as a result because he wouldn't/hasn't hurt him in the way his father currently does with this situation. For relationship advice and such.

Yes it's good drama (in an emotional/analytical sense) I'm just sulky about the telenovela feel of it don't mind me.

I'm positive their performances will make it lean more towards the procedural drama movie feel the show is known for.

Hell this had to happen some day right? The soap operafication of 9-1-1.

Hope is a beautiful ride at least. 🤷🏾‍♀️

(ps this episode was great all things aside)

#911 abc #evan buckley #buddie #911 fox #911thursdaytakeover #tv shows #oliver stark #ryan guzman #maddie buckley #bobby nash #athena grant #chimney han #hen wilson #karen wilson #911 meta #911 spoilers #911 speculation #911 season 7 #christopher diaz #soap operas and telenovelas are great #i won't knock em i watch tv from all over the world #i just feel so so about how this storyline has been playing out #the tone isn't quite matching with the show #even if it was absurd it was always explained #like the brain tumor or coma #this isn't rooted in reality so it's throwing me off because even if 911 is absurd it's still rooted in some form of reality #this just isn't explained #she just has a doppelganger like in their vicinity?? #long post #i will post an appreciation post for episodes during the break after the seaon