#I might also do character studies of my favorite footballers

[leonsliga]

If I posted men’s football rpf fics on ao3, would people read them? 🤔🤔

#I have some fics collecting dust in my docs #kinda wanna do something about it #but also very scared #I’d write for quite a few ships #seriker #kunessi #modramos #kimetzka #vazkroos #lichantony #mertigne #leweus #and maybe for some others too #neymessi #ramessi #football #thoughts brought to you by bri <3 #only thing is I can’t promise regular posting 😂 #I might also do character studies of my favorite footballers #who knows 🤷‍♀️

[soundspeachytome]

7 minutes in heaven - shohei ohtani au

summary: Y/N snoops around famous football player Shohei Ohtani’s locker in search for a scandal against his clean record but ends up in one herself.

tropes: friends with benefits, friends to lovers(?)

tw: *slight* smut, mentions of sex, oral (f receiving)

word count: 30,033K words (i'm SO sorry in advance holy shit)

hi! it's been a while. when i made this account, i vowed to write at least once a week but it had been so difficult this month juggling work, my chronic migraines, and seasonal depression (lol).

please note i did not proofread this so plsssss i apologize for grammar mistakes and inconsistencies!!

posting this on the last day of 2023, hoping to give everyone a good read before we welcome the new year. so thankful for this small space to try, linger and reset all over again. hope you had a very merry holidays with your loved ones.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

==================================

Locker Lockdown

At around thirty minutes past four in the afternoon, I skimmed the clubhouse for any signs of life. It was only the quiet that prevailed. Clear. 

I tiptoed my way towards the player locker room. I only had around ten minutes to locate the correct locker and take whatever I could find. Discovering the locker area to be empty and unguarded, I felt a surge of excitement. 

Six years later, I couldn’t get my big break and decided sports journalism could catapult me into somewhere big in the industry. This is my last chance to prove myself, otherwise I’d have to reconsider going back home and write Hallmark greeting card messages again. 

Shohei Ohtani’s jersey number is the number 17. Lucky bastard, after all these years and even after going through free agency, he got to keep his famous number, even at the cost of having their senior player give it up for him when he joined the football team. 

And here you might be wondering why I’m doing this aside from my sheer desperation to get an official spot in the workplace and not eat scraps of topics editors discarded for themselves. 

Some people are privileged to a fault.

And I hate seeing him on TV. Or on social media. Or his Colgate-white smile plastered all over my favorite beer and skincare brands. 

Some would say this is the TMZ tabloid level of writing. I say this is investigative journalism. Find out if the famous favorite son-in-law has any flaws of his own and wrap around a bowtie of hidden horrors of sports documentaries. 

And where else can we find this but in the athlete hotpot: their locker room.

I found Shohei’s locker right away as it was the tidiest locker among all on display, with nothing but brand-sponsored clothing hung neatly on the rack. He also donned the top shelf with some dog-eared self-help titles and vitamin bottles. While the rest of the athletes have pictures of their girlfriends, wives and their kids, Shohei has an unreleased polaroid selfie with his dog, Dekopin, just right beside his perfume bottles. Dekopin was looking away, captured in mid-yawn, with his ears raised, and Shohei, smiling into the camera with pursed lips and a snapback on.

I got so immersed into reading the ingredients of his vitamin bottles, trying to find anything remotely related to steroids, or any form of illegal bodily enhancements, that I didn’t notice footsteps from outside the hall.

“What are you doing here?” a voice loomed behind me and I dropped the diet supplement bottle in panic.

Only the sound of the bottle rattling could be heard as I locked eyes with Shohei Ohtani, tall and all muscular. His hair was sweaty and unkempt and his eyes held mild anger and confusion. After the bottle stopped rolling and settled somewhere on the floor between us, there was only silence and the cold sweat building up at my back. 

I swallowed hard. I planned everything from studying the stadium’s entrance and exit doors but I didn’t plan on bumping into him. Not like this. Not when I’m at the lowest level of the social hierarchy right now. 

I could only be ashamed. 

Brain still befuddled at the thought of getting caught, I urged my limbs and picked up the vitamin bottle and returned it back to Shohei’s locker. The plan was not to respond at all and run as fast as I could before the rest of his team arrived. That was the only way to keep whatever dignity I have left. 

“I said, what are you doing here?” He caught my arm mid-exit and pulled me back, tightening his grip. 

“Let go of me.” I struggled to keep my balance and the way my voice wavered was no help at all. 

Shohei saw the camera slung over my shoulder and looked back at me, realization hitting him.

“Y/N, are you a sports journalist now? And were you looking through my stuff?” he said, sounding almost disappointed. 

“That’s none of your business. Let go of me.” I kept my voice steady but his grip only tightened. The sides of my eyes slowly formed tears. 

“What tabloid media do you work for? I should report you. Would you like that? What a shame you’ll be banned from all the games now, right? You nasty journalists just won’t keep your noses away from my business.” he took my camera and deleted all the photos I took of the contents of his locker. I tried to leap for it but he was obviously inches taller than I was and I was no match for that.

“I don’t write tabloid news. If I was, my name would have been all over TV by now.” I grabbed the camera from him and sighed morosely at the lost media. A day’s work is all lost.

“My boss gave me a green light to do a documentary about the team. And the star player.” I wiggled my fingers in front of him, as if to emphasize the word “star” in front of him.

“I came here assuming you and the other players would be here for an interview but no one was around yet. So I hung around a bit and took interest in your nutritional supplements.” Lie after lie after lie. I gritted my teeth and faked a smile. The most convincing lie I’ve learned on almost all my failed dates and relationships was to stroke a man’s ego and have him talk about all the things he is interested in, making him divert his attention to something else. 

“You’ve got really good, um, vitamins for muscle recovery there. Maybe that’s why you got so big and strong, right?.” He looked at me dubiously, nodding responsively to be polite. If he took the bait, then he is obviously just like any other guy I’ve ever met. 

“I mean, I guess? I’ve been doing deadlifts so–”

Approaching footsteps and faint voices were heard from the hall. Shohei pushed me toward the opposite end of the hall, where the showers were located. 

“Wha–” I started but was shut up when he pushed me further into the back of the shower room, swiping the doors closed. 

“Shut up if you don’t want to be caught.” He growled and I recoiled back into the tiled corner. On top of me was the almost rusting shower head who had seen better days, and two bottle pumps for shampoo and body wash. 

Voices and conversations were starting to fill in the locker room that was empty only a few seconds ago. The voices of men echoed through the shower rooms.  You could hear the sound of water turning on from neighboring shower stalls, laughter and tired conversation in the locker area. We were surrounded.

Shohei could be heard laughing with his mates while blocking the door to the shower room I was hiding in. 

“Are you using that, Sho? I could use a hot shower right now.” one of his teammates said. 

“Uh, no, I was just about to use this room, sorry.” he said, almost hesitating. After a few seconds, he entered the shower room and started undressing. 

I widened my eyes and shot him daggers. When he unhooked his shirt from his armholes, I was rendered speechless. 

He had the body sculpted by the gods with his wide shoulders and large pecs that glinted under the light. How could someone look handsome and beautiful at the same time? 

So when Shohei reached for the waist belt of his pants down, I didn’t know why I had choked on a silent scream. I looked away, embarrassed to have reacted like an inexperienced teenager. I have seen and have been with naked men before. This should be nothing new to me and my level. Or so I thought.

I stole a glance at Shohei, who was slowly walking towards me (or to the showerhead, where I stood under, obviously)  in only his boxers on, gazing at me in wild amusement.

We were almost inches apart from each other, foreheads almost touching, breaths almost converging, if you may. If I stand on my tiptoes, I would be almost at his eye-level and I could peck him on the lips if I wanted to. 

If I wanted to.

“Sorry, but I need to shower or someone else will try to take this stall.” His voice broke my salacious thoughts. He looked at me and turned the shower on.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m supposed to. Aren’t I? I just got off practice and I stink.” He said almost sarcastically.

“So I’m supposed to just watch you bathe and hope I get out here alive?” Water slowly dripped into my shirt, soaking my chest and exposing a bit of my underwear. 

“If you didn’t sneak in here, we wouldn’t have this problem.” He concluded and pursed his lips, not looking at me. 

“Shohei? You okay? You sound like you’re talking to someone.” a familiar voice floated into the shower room.

“It was a video on my phone that I forgot to pause, Ippei-san.” Shohei’s face turned red but recovered quickly, glaring at me. 

“Oh, well then, I thought you finally had a girl in there. I was wrong.” Ippei laughed.

Shohei started lathering body wash on his body at the slowest pace possible. His hands glided through his chest, stomach, and into the dick he’s restraining inside his boxers. Simply having this view had me almost whimpering. If it had been another day, I would have obviously enjoyed this, having a sexy man bathe in front of me, because who wouldn’t? But under my circumstances, I’m only fairly annoyed at being a flustered, hot mess and I couldn’t do anything about it. 

“Oh, fuck, now you got me wet.” I blurted a little loudly as the water splashed and got into my socks. 

Shohei’s widened and panicked eyes shot at me.

In between those short seconds, Shohei was able to respond quicker than my brain could. He had faked a laugh and said loudly, “Well, that’s awkward, the video keeps on playing on its own. Let me turn my phone off instead.” gaining laughter from outside the shower area and then reaching for the small of my neck and closed whatever space was seen between us. 

Based on what I had learned in self-defense training, my initial bodily reaction should have been this: If someone is coming at you from the front, a groin kick may deliver enough force to paralyze your attacker, making your escape possible. 1. Stabilize yourself as best you can. 2. Lift your dominant leg off the ground and begin to drive your knee upward. 3. Extend your dominant leg, drive hips forward, slightly lean back, and kick forcefully, making contact between your lower shin or ball of your foot and the attacker’s groin area.

Instead, when his lips touched mine, I felt my arms throw around his neck and pulled him closer. They say we’re all beggars for something, and this indulgence I had let myself be greedy for. 

When his lips reached mine, I parted like the Red Sea almost immediately, welcoming him and everything that he could offer: the taste of his tongue on my mouth, the smell of honey orange and apricot from his body wash seeping through my nose as I peppered kisses on his chest, and his obviously hard dick grinding against my stomach. When I palmed him, he managed a low growl and caught my wrists.

“Not here.” he groaned.

I pushed my head back inquiringly, both of us breathing too hard. 

“I have no condom,” he tucked a wet strand of hair behind my ear. Under the dim bathroom light, I could see his face and chest were flushed. “Next time?”

“Well, usually when two old friends meet after a fall out in college, they just catch up and have coffee.” I said.

He laughed and said quietly, “Okay, so I owe you.”

“The coffee or the protected sex?” 

“Uh, it could go a lot of ways.” Before he could say more, I palmed him through his boxer shorts and looked up at him, trying to find his limit.

Shohei bit his own lip and tugged the roots of my hair in a bundle, pulling and tugging from the pleasure. To keep himself from making such ungodly hot sounds, he pushed his tongue down my throat and thrusted his hips back and forth against my hand.

As if to make it even, he unclasped my bra and sucked on my already soaked breasts, a satisfied groan slipped from me. We both pulled and pushed and sucked and kissed each other in the crevices the shower splatters couldn’t reach, silencing the moans before it could escape us.  

In that brief and elating moment, while we muted the noise from unsuspecting people, we smothered each other’s groans and reached our highs in the quietest, most pleasurable way possible. 

=========================================

7 minutes of heaven

It’s strange how I always find myself in the most ridiculous situations. 

The next few occasions that I’d meet Shohei would be wordless and timed interactions in enclosed spaces. We’d see each other in public and pretend we didn’t know each other but slip each other notes of the next place we’d secretly meet. It all felt strangely exhilarating to keep a secret like a fifteen year old would, with all the sneaking and running. 

We’ve explored almost every nook and cranny of the stadium, discovering hidden spots of our rendezvous. We’d meet up in a different bathroom and he’d push me on my back while he fucks me repeatedly on the bathroom sink. Pre-game preps meant I gave him blowjobs in his manager’s office hours and hours before everyone even arrived. 

Of course, when we ran out of places to hide, we’d go as far as looking for the next empty parking lot and tried to fuck each other noiselessly.

“So when can I take you out for dinner?” he had asked one day, when he dragged me out to meet with him around after midnight. I wouldn’t let him inside my apartment and I refused to do the deed in his either, so he’d bring me to places that only us knew, to fuck, to kiss, sometimes to talk, but more often, to drive each other’s pleasure and only that. 

Because god forbid we both catch feelings and lose the fun, right?

So no talking, no sharing of personal details, no anything. 

We were in an empty parking lot, away from the lampposts and streetlights. Shohei had made sure that we were well hidden in the dark. 

He had his legs spread while sitting on the driver’s seat. His hands, warm and wide, rested on my hips and thighs, lightly urging me to ride him slowly.

Soft RNB music played on the stereo, it was a quiet, still night. It was both our day off so he had wanted us to chill and take the sex slowly.

Slow meant gazing at each other’s eyes–gaze, not look–with endearment or adoration, not lust or pleasure. Slow meant thinking the unthinkable thoughts. Slow meant being vulnerable while coming undone.

And I don’t want the slow and quiet moments. I wanted the fast and rough with no time to talk, gaze or even think, just one hundred percent fun and debauchery. 

“Mmm. Maybe when you show me your photos,” I avoided the question but I also knew Shohei would never show me the photos he had taken–past and present. Even when we had been buddies for an entire semester, he had, not once, shown me his portfolio. 

“So probably never, right?” he gazed up at me with his creamy brown eyes, hands caressing my stomach lightly. 

“Probably,” I muttered and with that he had gripped my thighs tightly and moved his hips upwards to meet me. I moaned when he hit me in the right spots. Any sign of softness he had shown a few moments ago was gone, and only the roughness and unsettling disconnection remained. 

This particularly fine day, I would be standing at the mercy of his mouth. He had dragged me to an empty storage room in the east wing of the stadium, hours after practice. According to him, the area stands the exact opposite from the lockers so most people hardly come by. How he had found out about this, I had no idea. 

He was kneeling in between me, my right leg hooked on his shoulder, giving him more access and my hands tugged at the strands of his hair every time he licked my sensitive clit. 

Shohei’s tongue grazing against me had left me quivering in delight. He stands up and kisses me, giving me a taste. My fingers started unbuckling his belt when he felt his phone vibrate. 

“Oops, Ippei’s looking for me.” He pockets his phone, looking forlorn, as if telling me he didn’t really want to go yet. “See you again next time?”

“Yours or mine?” I had asked, brushing up and straightening my wrinkled dress. And when I realized what I had done, Shohei’s eyes shot up and he beamed widely. 

“I just– I- I want a proper night with sex, you know.” I explained, trying to sound nonchalant. “It’s so uncomfortable having to go commando at work after you had just literally sucked the life out of my vagina, Sho.”

“Mmm-hmm.” He smiled even more.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” 

“What? Fuck off.” By this time, my face felt hot and had probably looked red like a tomato, which probably amused Shohei even more. 

“Your place, then. I’ll call you.” he gives me one last kiss then heads out first, leaving me a dazed and pulsating mess.

A shrill sound knocked me awake. It felt like seven thousand screaming hungry babies in my ear, bouncing off around my brain like a pinball. 

I looked at the digital clock on the bedside table and saw the time glinting behind the glass: 8:41 PM. I must've fallen asleep after taking a half day off from work, feeling nauseous and slightly feverish. It seemed that whatever body malaise that I have been carrying inside me earlier had sprung into a full-blown ailment.

 I pushed my body up and walked groggily to the source of my misery. 

Someone was buzzing the doorbell and repeatedly pounding on the door. Great.

“If you’re not dead or dying behind this door, you’re about to be.” I croaked harshly, throat burning; putting all my remaining energy in pulling the door open. I was greeted by an extremely tall man with frantic brown eyes, searching my face.

“Oh, thank fucking god. I’ve been knocking for half an hour.” he wrapped me in a tight hug, I almost collapsed. Partly because of the throbbing headache and overall discomfort that I already felt, but hugely because of the warm minty scent of Shohei Ohtani. 

“Jesus, you’re burning up!”

“What are you doing here?” I said, struggling in his grip, his face resting on the curve of my neck. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“You don’t text someone ‘at least i’ll die happy today knowing that my last meal was shoyu ramen’ and then not fucking reply after.” We were still standing by the entrance, his face now angled towards me, a look of concern or anger mixed in his face, I couldn’t tell. My cerebral cortex functions seemed to have shut down after witnessing this unexpected tenderness. 

“Medicine knocked me down cold.” I shrugged weakly. 

Shohei pulled me into the bedroom and tucked me back in, apologizing for his intrusion, putting down plastic bags of what seemed to be groceries on the kitchen counter, and went back to lightly scolding me for proper texting etiquette to family and friends, to anyone really. That my dark humor doesn’t translate well in messages and that I could have really died and people would think I’m joking but really, he got so scared that he went here as fast as he could.

I don’t remember much but in between fever dreams and my ibuprofen haze, I faintly remember the savory taste of rice porridge exploding in my mouth, the constant dabbing of a cold towel on my face, neck and chest, sometimes, my back, too; the smell of rubbing alcohol and a large, gentle, almost loving touch. 

I don’t remember much but in between waking up in the darkness and stone-cold silence, I remember soft forehead kisses until I drifted back to sleep; of big strong arms enclosing me into a big embrace, as if to tell me, you can put your guard down now. you are safe here. 

I don’t remember much from coming in and out of slumber, but I remember thinking: wouldn’t it be nice if this wasn’t a dream?

======================================

Reset

In the end, I quit sports media on my own volition and got into a friend’s ceramics house. I have always had a thing for ceramics and sculpting as early as college, where I had met my then-professor and now friend–who happens to be the owner of mentioned ceramics house. She had always praised me and encouraged me to join her when she first opened the shop, but as someone who had musings for writing at the time, I politely declined and pursued, you guessed it, journalism. 

I’ve always been good at writing, no doubt, from the way professors always had a good word for me, but I always seem to get into the wrong places every time. Time moves fast if you’re a journo, if you’re slow, then the news is rehashed news, it would just be a late-night recap at a midnight slot that no one is ever awake to watch. 

Here, inside her shop, it was quiet, and time moved slowly. I can get into my laziest clothes and no one bats an eye. I can finally retire my stilettos and straight cut blazers. 

It was all so going well. The customers were always mid-twenties who got interested in our social media marketing of creating your own mugs and other ceramics and always came in in groups, duos, and solos. 

Slowly, I realized that not everyone gets to the places they want. Even when you work blood and sweat for it. Not all were built like, say, Shohei Ohtani, whose talent was recognized early and afforded him an automatic slot in the big leagues.

Some are born to be big icons and some, like the rest of us, are meant for smaller, softer spaces. I get that now. It finally felt like I was in the right place and pace. 

All this positivity and good timing felt all too good to be true and been proven accurate when the scandal blew up. 

Shohei Ohtani photographed exiting his LA apartment with a woman in his arms.

Shohei Ohtani’s rumored girlfriend receives backlash from fans: READ MORE

EXCLUSIVE: More photographs of Shohei Ohtani and rumored girlfriend driving away in his Porsche

Rumored girlfriend of Shohei Ohtani: Who is She?

When I say it was everywhere, I meant it exploded right in front of our faces like a million confetti, falling and twirling fast. It was unstoppable. It was inevitable.

I felt my limbs go numb when I read the morning news. There in bold and black letters was the headline, my name and a clear photo of me holding Shohei’s arm, smiling. A certain news outlet had gotten juice of us and our secret hideouts and had spread all over social media like wildfire. You know what’s funnier? The media outlet that released this was my previous employer. The same company that asked me to snuff out a controversy. While I had failed to give them the news they wanted, I had unintentionally brought them an exclusive that wrote my entire name–and face–off the map and potentially ruined Shohei Ohtani’s clean record. 

Shohei Ohtani, despite his happy-go-lucky and passive demeanor, was a very serious and straight-laced person. I already knew this in university but I got to see more of this side of him when we had started the fucking thing. Even though I had clearly told him that I didn’t want any strings attached, it was unavoidable to give and receive bits and pieces of each other when we’re not naked. 

I  did enjoy talking to Shohei under the sheets. His ingenious ideas and the way he talked about the things he adored spilled all over him, like afternoon sunlight streaming in between curtains, making way even through the small spaces to cast his light. I basked into this warmth as much time allowed me, because who knows when I can experience the glow of his presence again after all the chaos. 

He was exactly like the golden hour: a warm afternoon orange luminescence that usually only stays for ten to fifteen minutes a day. If you wait too long to look up, he disappears quickly as he goes, leaving only the faint orange, yellow and pink hues chasing after him before the black of the night takes over you. 

Well, now the fairytale has run its course and the sun has set to announce that golden hour is over. Night has finally fallen on me and I’m feeling scared and alone.

The first thing I did was to grab as much stuff as I could and put them all in my luggage and filed for an indefinite leave. 

As if like clockwork, my phone rang and saw Shohei’s name on the caller ID. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. What could I possibly say to him? That I used him just for the clicks and the views? That after all this time we spent together, he would realize that I am still the same despicable, scathing piece of garbage who’d trample on anyone just for a few cents?

So I don’t answer. Even when he calls back again and again and leaves me twenty or more messages by the hour. I turned my phone off. The latest message from Ohtani coming up on the notifications bar read, “Where are you?” before the screen flashed to black. 

I have nothing but my pride left. I’d like to keep it that way.  In such a way, I was embarrassed, too. I thought I finally had something to brag about. A job that I actually liked and enjoyed, a peaceful mind, and the possibility of liking a guy who had shown me nothing but kindness. 

And because I couldn’t handle all of this, I handled it like I have always handled things: I ran away like a coward. 

I rode a bus without reading its destination card and let it drive me away as far as it could, to someplace where no one knew me or Shohei Ohtani, or had any idea about the news. 

The bus drove away and I never looked back. 

================================

Waiting Until My Spring Comes Again: Shohei’s POV

Just like that I lost her. She wasn’t even mine to begin with. 

When the news broke out, I was so furious that I wanted to drive to the news outlet that published the article and give them a piece of my mind. I knew my blind rage would have done more damage so I didn’t.

Instead, I looked for her and wanted to let her know that whatever happens, I won’t drop her just like that. That I’m willing to acknowledge the rumors and make it official, if she wanted to. 

I’ve always been open to the idea of taking it to the next level with her but every time I broached the subject, she would change the topic, get into a foul mood, or try to pick a fight with me. Which I found endearing. She’s so adorable when she pouts. And when she pushes her luck thinking a five foot four girl like her can withstand someone as tall as me. 

I just can’t help but laugh and feel a flutter in my stomach. She’s someone who has been adorable and held a special corner in my heart. 

Y/N’s face was so expressive and whatever emotion she was in it would always be evident on her face. When she’s happy, a dimple on her cheek shows up. When she’s feeling sad or down, she’d look downcast and would prefer that you leave her alone. When she’s thinking about something deep, she would chew on her lower lip and always had a blank almost unfocused stare. Despite her many faces, I’m sure as hell that I love all of them. I wanted to be by her side when all this shit happened, I wanted to see which face she was making. Is she pissed like I was? Is she sad? I wouldn’t know. The moment her number didn’t connect after I had tried reaching her, I already knew that she was avoiding me. 

I lost count of how many messages I had sent her, of how many missed calls and voicemails I left her. She was unreachable. She gave me her spare key so when I tried visiting her apartment, it was empty. 

She was gone. 

And only the traces of her lingered in her apartment. Her unwashed mug with leftover stale coffee was on the kitchen counter, specks of lipstick staining the mouth. Dirty clothes hanging on her bathroom door, forgotten and unwashed. The peachy scent of her purifier that always latches on to her clothes whenever we go out. Her unread books on her coffee table, some dog eared and annotated. 

Everything that I love about her is here except for her and I miss her. 

For the next couple of days, I dodged the media and focused on training, playing and practicing. Those three over and over again. I tried to not think about her and lose sleep because of her. An athlete’s wellbeing is connected to quality sleep. 

But she was everywhere I went. Pieces of her were scattered all over the places I avoided, and it was my fault really, for bringing her to places we usually hid. For hoping that someday, the secrets we hid would be our stories to tell. Now I just let her memories rot inside my heart, where she should be. 

I thought it would be easier when you just let it slip by but the more days that passed without seeing her, the more I feel a gnawing pain in my heart. She had sucked all my sunlight and took it all away with her. 

I want her back. 

=====================================

My Answer is You

Eleven days. It took me nine days to realize running away was a bad idea. 

When I first got off the bus, I thought the place looked familiar. Turns out, I rode the bus to my hometown, to the very south and the last bus stop until it turned around to go back to the city. 

When I appeared in front of my mom–the first time in a long time–she had immediately said, “Did something in the city?”

The moment she asked, I broke down in tears. She shushed and consoled me while I cried like a little kid. Like the way I had bawled to her when my first boyfriend broke up with me, or when my love birds died from illness, the other from loneliness. 

It feels like I would die of loneliness, Mom. I had said.

Did he really say that? Did he tell you that it’s over? She cooed.

I was embarrassed to admit to my mom that no, Shohei had never told me anything because I had shut him out even before I could give him the chance. But what if that call was already the end of it all? What if answering his call meant exactly what I had thought. That would shatter me more. 

So, no, Mom, you can call your daughter a coward but in her heart, it’s all over. 

The next forty-eight hours at home was a blur. After feeding me with what feels like a day’s worth of homemade dishes, she made me wash the dishes, clean my old room, and the living room as well. And when that wasn’t enough, she made me go with her to the night market and bought whatever seafood she could find to feed me. 

Is this what you did when Dad left? I wanted to ask her. Did you go around acting as normal while nursing a wounded heart? Did you go all through that facade just to show me that you were strong for the both of us?

She had her back to me, her hands pale and creased with age, showing signs of passage of time and her hardwork to put me to school. I know she was trying to make me busy to keep my mind off of Shohei. I’m not sure if she fully understands the scandal but she was trying her best to keep my head above the water. Probably just like how she always did. 

I wish I was strong like you, Mom. 

On the fourth and fifth day, she had let me work under the sun harvesting corn. Which I absolutely despised. I had to wear sun hats and these jumpers to cover myself from the heat. 

“It’s cheap labor for letting you stay and eat my food,” she said when I complained. “Tomorrow, you’ll help me sell these at the market.”

As the days grew idly by, I’ve grown more accustomed to rising early and eating less meat and more vegetables. I willingly went out of the sun more to do housework, like hanging clothes, watering Mom’s plants, however, I was still not willing to harvest her vegetables, which she made me do a lot. When I say a lot, it means everyday since then. 

On the eleventh morning, I woke up earlier than usual and found my mom already awake. She busied herself with a cup of coffee. 

“Good morning, mom.” I yawned, grabbing my own mug. 

“After breakfast, pack your things and go back to the city.” She said quietly.

“Huh?” I’m not sure I heard her right. Is she kicking me out?

She pushed today’s newspaper into my hands and pointed at an article. An article shows a picture of Shohei smiling at the camera, behind him was a framed candid photo of me turning my head just in time when the camera clicked, I was wearing a sleeveless shirt, a shawl draped over my shoulders, and the wind blowing my hair and covering my face slightly. Just by looking at the photo, it looked like a time when Shohei and I drove to the beach. He had brought his camera and took a lot of photos. 

The article said, “Portfolio on Love: Shohei Ohtani’s Photographs Displayed for A Cause.”

“....and when the powerhouse athlete gets a day off, he plays around his camera and takes photos of anything, everywhere. He reveals Insider Today that for the first time ever, he is displaying his portfolio to the public at the Grand City Museum starting today until the 31st of the month, with the theme of “hello, love, are you there?”

“...’I don’t know how else to define love but this. I hope when the public sees this, they will instantly know that my photographs are a reflection of my love,’ he said.

“When asked if this was a confirmation to the rumors flying around recently, he just smiled sadly and said, "I'm hoping that this answers everyone’s questions, especially hers.”

“If your face is plastered on all of the newspapers, it wouldn’t make sense to stay here longer.” Mom said after a while. She had finished her breakfast and took them away to the sink.

“It doesn’t end well if you’re too afraid, my darling.” she said, not looking at me. “To love and to be hurt is to be brave. If it doesn’t work out after facing him, then by all means. Come home. My doors are always open for you. And I will feed you rice cakes while you harvest my corn.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. She wasn’t a hugger but welcomed my hug and patted me on the shoulders. “Now go, before all the chismosas wake up and corners you.”

I packed my bags and left home, my heart pieced back together. It was not wrong to go home and seek shelter. What I did wrong was leaving Shohei all alone when he took most of the fall. 

Five hours, one taxi ride, and a ten minute walk later, I arrived at the city museum, nervous, anxious, feeling a little lightheaded and hesitant. I wiped my sweaty palms and got inside. 

It was not as packed as I had expected, probably because it was a little over after lunch, though there was still a relatively big crowd overall. 

When I stepped into the hall featuring Shohei’s displays, I felt a surge of emotion. It was a collection of all the photographs of his loved ones. In a black and white collection, he had photographed his parents holding hands while walking in the snow, a photo of his dog sleeping idly on his couch, a photo of the football stadium in a wide angle shot, showing Ippei and the rest of his teammates playing a warm up game before practice. 

When I turned to a corner, that’s when I saw it. There were multiple frames hanging intricately on one side, showing all of the photos he took of me. One during university days, where I was showing him a strangely large eggplant during our photo walks at the market. There was another with me looking at him angrily for reasons I couldn’t remember, and a more recent one, in the middle, where he was holding my hand while I walked forward, back facing the camera. 

On the metal plate below were words that read in cursive: “2009–present. Moments of love that I hold dear.”

At that moment, tears had started rolling down my cheek and I couldn’t help but sob. The onlookers nearby started moving away, probably weirded out by the sudden burst of emotion over some piece of art.

They weren’t just pieces of art. These were moments when Shohei and I were together and maybe realized that it was love.

By then, someone on my left offered a handkerchief and I gingerly took it, wiping my tears-strewn face. I muttered an apology for ruining the fabric.

“This is not the first time someone cried in front of my photographs. Some were absolutely heartbroken after seeing them.” a man’s voice said. And that reeled me back as I turned around and saw Shohei standing in front me.

“I knew this would lure you back,” he said, smiling.

His face was a little gaunt and tired. He had dark circles around his eyes that I’ve never seen before. I could only look at him and he looked back. I had so many things I wanted to say to him, so many things I wanted to explain but he spoke first and said:

“Did you get a tan?” he started, raising an eyebrow.

“I-I was harvesting corn!” I said, covering my face with both hands. I didn’t even have the time to put on makeup or a swab of lipstick and that’s the first thing he notices.

He took my hands and held them tightly against his chest. “No one looks this beautiful even after harvesting corn.”

“Shut up,” I said looking away.

He tipped my chin and held my face. “Let’s start again, shall we?” 

I raised an eyebrow in question.

“Hi, my name is Shohei Ohtani. I’m an athlete and an amateur photographer sometimes. I’ve been in love with the girl in the photographs since forever.”

I managed a smile and laced my hands around his neck. “Hi, I’m a ceramics maker and sometimes, a farmer, you should see the corn I harvest. You look so familiar. I think you look like my future boyfriend.”

His eyes perked up and laughed at our silly little game. He went in for a kiss and I obliged, feeling safe and brave in his arms.

Let them take the damn photographs and write the articles all they want, but they could never take my sunshine away ever again. 

#shohei ohtani au #shohei ohtani imagines #shohei ohtani #shohei ohtani pov #shohei ohtani fluff #shohei ohtani smut

[disregardcanon]

thinking about a npmd characters yellowjackets au and oh boy it's fun

okay so the premise is, the hatchetfield high school nighthawk football team is going to nationals. i'm pretty sure that doesn't exist for american high school football but we're suspending disbelief.

solomon lauter is trying to build up goodwill with the community for this election cycle, so not only does he charter a private plane for the football team, he makes his daughter go with. HE doesn't have time to go to seattle and it's not like most people will see him there anyway, but if he puts his daughter on the plane with them and says oh look my daughter is so kind and supportive! she's taking time away from HER own schoolwork and HER own life to support our fighting nighthawks! what a kind and involved citizen she is!

and then of course he pressures her teachers to just. let her off the hook for activities in classes that week. because she's such a kiiinnnddd person who's supporting the football team.

richie, of course, is essential for an excursion such as this. he's zeke the fighting nighthawk! he's on that plane. ruth has some overlap with misty quigley that i find interesting, so we're making her the equipment manager. this is half to get her on the plane and half because i think she'd use that as an excuse to be a pervert. like oooohhh i'm so sorry! i didn't think there would be boys CHANGING in here right now! myyyy mistake.

max and the football team and brenda and the cheer squad are all there. now however do we get our dearest spankoffski on that plane? (ruth says that she needs help with equipment management duties and pete's already the salutorian of the class... so she's able to sell him just missing this second to last week of school alright to the teachers. he doesn't really WANT to, but steph, who he's been bonding with since she got him to help her cheat and then actually helped her study... asks him to. because she says she's going to be bored out of her mind without someone to hang out with... and he's only HUMAN, okay?)

now how do we get grace temperance chastity on a plane full of horny teenagers for an activity that she doesn't do? why making her the president of the FCA (fellowship of christian athletes) of course! she is the self-assigned chaperone of such an important and potentially very horny and drug-ridden activity in such a den of sin (seattle). SHE is the only thing standing between the students of hatchetfield high and total anarchy. as valedictorian (peter, if you just applied yourself and maybe went to chuuurrrcchhh you might have beaten me! grace will you just shut up-) she is not worried about her grades in this penultimate week of school. oh BOY was she wrong.

they of course crash in the canadian rockies. the coaches die, and we're left with absolute fucking anarchy. everyone save our favorite quintet listen to max for awhile as he dictates the ways that heeee, max jagerman, think things should be run. it's bad! it doesn't work! they're gonna fucking die!!!!!!!

jagerman is more worried about how to keep his power and where steph keeps disappearing to than figuring out how to stay alive in case of... not getting rescued.

ruth has GAD and is just freaking the fuck out in the corner, richie is doing the same, and pete is trying to figure out. how the fuck to survive in case of no rescue coming. steph's on team I Think We Should Prepare, Jesus Christ! and grace enjoys survival situations so she's over here. she also thinks that the act of god might be that they're stuck out here and have to build a new jerusalem (tehehe)

the combined powers of steph's charisma and kindness, pete's problem-solving, and grace's intensity and sureness in herself, they convince the rest of the group that they found a safer spot... a lake, where they might find water and food and not die here by the plane while waiting for a rescue that might not come.

the rest of the group listens, showing the first crack in max jagerman's power, and he has a very ugly blowup but eventually follows.

he IS going to die out there. he IS going to be the first to die out there. and they are going to eat him :) but it's also max jagerman who's in the narrative role of jackie. so he's gonna haunt this fucking narrative! OHHHHH YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH

other tidbits: max deciding to for real pursue grace is mainly about trying to break her power base because he's pissed she's the one everyone's listening to now, but he also... does think that's hot. :3

grace IS going full girl-prophet. lottie tempered her girl-prophet ways in season 2 because she realized that things were going wrong... grace thinks she's god's anointed so she is not going to do that. not at all.

stephanie HAS got a gun. a hunting she will go. a hunting she will take pete. (we're out here starving in the woods and you think that pete and i shouldn't... sleep together? with fucking CONDOMS!?!?! what is your prOBLEM? he's a loser and you're COOL! we're not in fucking high school, max! grow! up!) they're getting some of that Narrative Conflict With The Superstitions that defines natalie's character.

ruth WOULD find the porno mags she WOULD show everyone and when grace tries to confiscate them for Jesus Reasons ruth would find one to squirrel away just for herself. i am also assigning ruth butcher because i think she could handle the guts, and also.. i'm sorry the idea of ruth throwing girls' nights with jagerman's corpse in the freezing cold meat shed just works in my brain.

i'm gonna give richie van's How Do We Make Sense of All These Times I Almost Died and this ABSOLUTE Bullshit!??!! plot line, along with assigning him group morale and Person Who Tells the Stories.

when it gets to the card pull grace WILL be rigging it to get rid of "dirty dudes". jason gets got first. and grace keeps giving lautski and ruth cryptic warnings about cleaning up their sexual act or else and they're just like hahaha i'm in danger...

somehow grace thinks that this is all compatible with her christianity! i love her <3

#npmd #hatchetfield #yellowjackets #npmd aus #lautski #grace chastity #stephanie lauter #peter spankoffski #max jagerman #richie lipschitz #ruth fleming

[hoopearringsunlikemine]

Supa team 4:

Supa team 4:

I have never felt more seen by any show.  

I would like everyone to know something about me, and my physical form out side of tumblr (yes I do have one actually). I am African-America,  and I shaved my hair. I also struggle with the feeling like I’m not black enough, one of those reasons being because of the fact that I don’t have enough hair to lock or braid. ‘Why am I telling you all this?’ You may ask, because with all this, a single show managed somehow help me and my struggle. When I tell that this show in eight episodes talking about teen girls becoming superheroes made me feel more seen than any (black,lgbtqia+, neurodivergent) focused show I’v seen so far I am telling you the TRUTH. For me it’s a 10/10 and I will recommend to anyone. 

Characters.

I’ll be honest with you. I see no flaws with the characters. In fact dare I say, this show has some of the best made characters i’v ever seen. With like actual depth, since the character are not only used for representation; writers can focus on the characters themselves. Which is rare to find, especially with black characters. 

Marjory

Right now my favorite character is Marjory. For multiple reasons but the main one being that she has no hair. Her hair is actually similar to mine, the only difference being I use designs (so people can differentiate me from others boys). The other being, she’s so rude(/affectionate). She always has something to say and often comments on the four main girls and of the girls don’t really like but never comment on her hair because it’s normal. We don’t see much of her character through out the first season but I’m (REALLY!!!!) hoping that we get to see her more and have the writers add more depth to her character. 

The main 4/ The Supa 4/ Momma K’s team 4

I love them all so much. They are all such amazing characters. The Supa 4 consists of Komana, Monde, Temwe, Zee, and Mama K. These writers KNOW what they’re doing, this is  a middle school; this is the experience. Each of the characters feel like an extension of myself and it hits hard.

First up we have Zee. Zee is the tall, skinny, athletic girl which I love because her body type is basically mine. I can understand her when her episode comes up and she becomes over confident, in a way it shows that in the future she might be insecure, because people who get overconfident that quickly are often insecure. Zee plays for the schools football/Soccer team and is very good at. She also seems to love it as well because that is her weapon when they power up! 

Next we have Temwe! Temwe our short queen, she is represented as an empty hole who is willing to eat anything. Apart of her character is that she has some anger issues and is a bit of a troublemaker. In middle school I felt/feel like I always was doing something wrong even in primary school it was always me doing the wrong thing. I do headcannon that she has ADHD sense in one of her episodes she had to studying to prevent getting kicked off the team. I also believe that she maybe a favorite of the principal, despite how hard he is on her.

even in the last episode he states how he sees himself in her. 

Monde is nextttt! Monde is the plus size queen.  This is once again a thing with the character designs, she is chubby not slimed down, not sexualized(she is in middle school btw.) she is just chubby, and this one character probably impacted so many people. She struggles with feeling left out in the friend group because of her being new to the school which is quite relatable. I also love her relationship with her sister, she lives with her sister meaning she is growing up with a strong woman! She is also the most involved with my favorite character: Marjory. 

Last but not least Komana. Komana is the second shortest, and the smartest of the team. She brings her A game when it comes to her smarts and does lack in the creativity department. She also is the only character (so. far/excluding Monde sister) with a ‘love interest’ which I love. She struggles with her self worth, thinking that everything she does has to be great and if it isn’t then she failed. She spent an entire episode feeling like she wasn’t good enough showing so much of her character! 

How does this make me feel?

I feel so very seen by these characters. In a way I feel like I’m being talked to threw these characters and I feel heard. Zee being similar to my body type is just like clarification, that the writers see me and others like me. Temwe is not only a character that I feel like the watchers can put themselves into but can match a person too.  It has been far too long where (kid) shows have been to afraid to represent any sort of body type that’s similar to Monde’s, but not this show. Komana is the one showing not everything will be easy for you and that feels good to see. 

#Supa team 4 #Thank you Malenga Mulendema #Essay #blm #black shows #African #african culture #african american #girl power #black girl magic #girls can do it

[itsonlydana]

foolish bff to lovers mayhaps?

"I'm falling in love with your favorite song" ➷ Foolish

➛ pairing: cc!Foolish x gn!reader

➛ request/idea: It's never easy to develop feelings for your best friend, something you had to learn the hard way after you and Foolish went to the school dance as a joke. But at one of George's house parties, you have to ask yourself what's worse: never finding out if it could have turned into something, or putting your friendship at risk by jumping into the unknown?

➛ word count: 6k+

➛ tags/warnings: college!au, mention of alcohol but all main characters are sober, swearing, fluff, some anxiety about love, suggestive themes, dancing together/ ft: dream team, sbi and other familiar faces

➛ an: No idea when i answered a request with such a long fic, had fun writing it tho! I used this song (dance with somebody by mando dio) as inspiration since i can't get it out of my head. As always we have style-icon Eret, because there isn't a fic of mine where he isn't one (the streamer awards by qt speak for themselves), and football player Foolish as the best friend who is a bit more than that.

important links: rules + masterlist

🌿 reposts and comments are always appreciated, they motivate me a lot and keep me writing, especially when it comes to longer fics like this one <3

You should have known from the beginning that one of your two best friends, Eret, was up to something, and most likely to no good. Normally and to everyone else, he and his expression were unreadable, even more so when he didn't want to share his thoughts with the world, so when he picked you up for George and his closest friends Dream and Sapnap's house party, and you opened the door to the biggest grin in the world, you should have been skeptical.

But you pushed aside all doubts of his surely only pure intentions of distraction and celebration of the last exam at the anticipation of an evening far from your school material, with which you struggled for weeks to prepare for your now finished exams.

As before every party, the afternoon consisted of mostly chit-chat about the last days of school while Eret made himself comfortable on your bed and helped you decide on an outfit while painting his nails black with white, french tips. This time he had opted for black cloth pants with a high waist and long wide legs, and a sleeveless white blouse with a deep neckline, to which he wore shiny black docs; a "casual" outfit, as he had mentioned in a passing sentence. Yeah right, casual.. -for Eret, it might have been casual, others would break out those clothes for a trip to the opera or an important meeting, and not for a college party where spilling drinks was bound to happen.

After you too had found something you'd not only feel comfortable in for the rest of the evening but also one that looked "damn hot" according to Eret's whistling, you had posed in your mirror, decorated with many polaroid pictures, one last time for a photo and had headed out.

sIt was a warm summer night, the chirping of crickets in the gardens accompanied you on the walk from your house down the street towards George's. You didn't know when you last caught an evening like this in the last few weeks, every day had been filled with books and study notes for exams, but now that you had that behind you, you wanted to get back to enjoying life, summer and all that this time brought.

"I think I want to do something outside of my comfort zone today," you surprised yourself by stating your thoughts directly. Normally -even in Eret's company- you preferred to think everything over before you rode yourself into some crap, like that one time you had accidentally agreed too quickly to an evening you regretted afterward. Yeah, you definitely didn't want to go through that again.

Eret seemed puzzled as well, then a grin spread across his face like you had seen it a few hours ago. You couldn't place it there, but now that he looked like he knew something you didn't, you first noticed the mischievousness in his eyes.

"Oh yeah?"

Slightly skeptical, you eyed him. "Yeaaah?" you drawled out the word, your excitement and genuine enthusiasm beginning to wane, making you think three times about whether you still stood behind your words. "Why?" you pecked because Eret didn't look like he was going to share his thoughts directly with you.

The bastard lived on the control he had over people, thanks to his mysterious nature. You loved him, in a friendly way, but sometimes you wanted to pull his ears when he kept something from you and waited for you to try getting it out of him.

Eret slowed his steps so you could keep up better and shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants. "What did you have in mind?"

His question sounded so innocent, so well-behaved as if he actually wanted to hear your plans, but you knew full well that he was just waiting for the perfect moment, preferably one where you weren't prepared for it, to drop the bombshell of information that was so clearly on the tip of his tongue. He might have been able to fool others, but you were always prepared after the many years of friendship.

You quickly went through all the typical college must-do moments that the other party people always talked about. "I don't know, maybe I'll jump in the pool with my clothes on or run away from the cops," you cringed even at the ideas that had first occurred to you, because first, you would never jump in a pool where half of the attendees had probably already dumped their alcohol, and second, George's friend Bad's dad was a cop, which meant no cops would be crashing the party like in the movies either.

It was at that moment, though, while you were still stuck in your thoughts, that Eret's grin fell and he sighed without batting an eye. "Oh, and I thought you were finally going to tell Foolish about your feelings."

You almost tripped over your own feet and would have most likely made acquaintance with the hard floor rather than your brain would have followed along and processed Eret's words, but fortunately, it didn't even come to that, because Eret put an arm around your shoulders.

"You know," he began, while you were still searching for your tongue. "There's nothing that screams 'out of my comfort zone and college party moment' more than the long-anticipated conversation between two blind best friends who are too stubborn to talk about their feelings."

"Excuse me?" you gasped. He'd done it. Eret had actually managed to bring up the one subject you were usually always armed for, asking the one question you usually could, wanted, and would avoid!

Of course Foolish wasn't a taboo subject between you, he was part of your trio and your best friend since kindergarten. However, your feelings for him were something completely different, they were silenced by you and revived by Eret, because he was firmly convinced that he would reciprocate them. Total nonsense, in your opinion. It was absolutely impossible that Foolish had fallen in love with you too. With you it had been unintentional, an accident, to be exact. When Foolish had asked you to the prom last year, you had both agreed you would go as friends, at most as a fake date to cause a bit of chaos and not asked by others.

No feelings other than friendship, you had both agreed on that.

The only pity was that your brain and heart hadn't gotten along well once the first slow dance was called, and suddenly you'd seen him with very different eyes.

"I'm serious, (y/n)" Eret took his arm back to wave at a group of teenagers on bicycles who rode past you, the crates and bottles in their baskets jingling at the dramatic serpentine lines they lightheartedly made across the street, saying quite a bit about the party you would be joining as well.

"How long are you going to sigh to yourself and do nothing about it?" he asked you once the boys were out of earshot.

Slightly miffed, you snorted. "I am doing something about it!" you protested.

"Crying about romance movies and books while you read a guidebook on: how do I fall out of love isn't helpful, it's avoiding the issue."

You turned your head from the floor to Eret, your lips slightly parted in renewed protest and a hint of anger that he was now using your evening routine, which you had entrusted to him, against you.

He beat you to it though, shaking his head, "I'm just saying. Neither of you will ever be happy if you two keep sneaking around each other. Why don't you take your chance today, talk to him. You know Foolish will never mean you any harm if you confide in him."

As usual, you ignored every part where he talked about Foolish's feelings. Eret did that more often, saying "you two" or "sneaking around each other" or telling you something about "not unrequited." Yes yes, Eret could drill for a long time, you wouldn't fall for such tricks.

The rest of the way you chewed on his words like an old piece of chewing gum, they were tough and left a funny taste of "maybe he's right" in your mouth, while Eret himself kept the conversation alive. Fortunately, he dropped the "Foolish" topic and instead talked about how lucky George was, after all, because his parents regularly flew back to their home in England for their business, thus leaving the boy in charge of the entire house. None of the parties their son and his friends threw every time they put their feet out of the threshold interested them, they were so relaxed.

And George organized many parties, well his best friends Sapnap and Dream did it and the brit let them do it, as long as everything was cleaned up at the end.

Their trio resembled that of your friend group.

Dream, like Eret, was the emotional support to whom you could always complain about anything and be sure they wouldn't tell anyone. Both would throw everything down if you needed help, mostly this was used by Sapnap and Foolish.

The two seemed to share a brain cell at times, from what you heard at the parties or from their football practice. Sometimes you would sit with Eret for a relaxing movie night, until suddenly the phone would ring and Foolish would end up hesitantly asking how to -purely theoretically- get a bicycle out of a tree.

Then there was you and George. Most of the time you were rather quieter, matching your energy to that of the people around you and helping Dream and Eret help your idiot friends out of clumsy, ill-conceived situations.

Except you'd never regularly throw parties at your place like the ones George did and planned. Things never really went right, the mess spread to every inch of the property and the hours it took to clean up afterward alone were hours you could spend in your bed.

The loud music could be heard almost a whole block before, some typical party song with lots of instrumentals and similar lyrics about the many freedoms of summer and even though 90% of the songs on the radio right now sounded almost exactly like this one, you couldn't help but bob your head a little.

That must have been the magic of these songs, they got the adrenaline pumping through your veins and you believed time would be yours forever if you just kept singing and dancing along.

Eret's steps became bouncier as well, making you pick up the pace to keep up with the much taller one.

George's house was at the end of the street and if you wondered why none of the neighbors complained about the more than loud music, it was because they were all there. Even on the street itself, teenagers and young adults were standing together in groups, drinking beer and smoking. Some were riding around on their skateboards, sitting in open trunks or cargo areas of the cars that had parked up the entire turning circle in front of George's house.

You were glad to be out with Eret, because not only was he the perfect companion through the crowd thanks to his size, but he seemed to know everyone enough that they made room for you, greeted you, or even offered you a ride back, for which Eret thanked you with a laugh while already pushing you along in front of him.

It took you a while to get from the street to the house itself, constantly being stopped on all sides, many more plans for the summer made than there was time for, and many more promises of reunion made than could be kept.

In the front yard, you ran a zigzag course around the many bikes tossed onto the lawn and squeezed past a group of juniors sitting on the porch who were just happy to be there, even if they weren't allowed in the house. It had once been a joke that George's parents should declare the house the English Embassy so that people could follow the English Protection Act on the property, which allowed drinking over 16, but in the end, that was just always that: a joke.

And one of the two big rules for George's parties:

no high schoolers were allowed in the house

anyone who breaks anything gets kicked out

Sapnap also once wanted to kick out anyone who beat him at beer pong, but the rule was quickly scrapped by Dream after a series of losses and some heated discussion.

Both rules were strictly supervised by the group and so the younger ones were always sitting around outside or in the garden behind the house. Usually Bad or Callahan would stand at the front door and control who was allowed in and who wasn't, but as you climbed up the porch today, you encountered two familiar faces.

"Techno! Phil!" you exclaimed at the sight of the two siblings in the doorway, and joyfully you took two steps at once.

"Hey mate!", Phil, the older of the two greeted you and Techno nodded at you too with a friendly smile.

Despite the few words, you were pulled into a short hug by both of them, but it didn't last long, as one of the younger ones used the moment to rush past you into the house, whereupon Techno just smiled back at you before running after the boy.

Phil laughed as the cheers of the guests could be heard from inside, a chorus of "Techno! Techno! Techno!" resounded over the music, commenting on the pink-haired man's chase of his latest victim.

Techno and Phil were the older siblings of one of your friends Wilbur and had graduated last year. After that, the two of them had moved farther away to go to a university where they were both now studying history. Although Techno and Will were twins, the pink-haired one and Phil had always been closer, and you'd hardly seen them apart even in school. So you weren't surprised to see them here at the door as bouncers, there was something very very intimidating about them both when you didn't know them personally, but only from stories. Stories that Will exaggerated a lot most of the time, but that had only helped with their reputation.

While Eret lapsed into a conversation about college, you pulled your phone out of your pocket and quickly typed a message to Foolish.

You: standing outside at georges. U there yet?

Foosh <3: WINNING BEER PONG RN COME IN TO LIVING ROOM

You shook your head with a grin at his message, the accidental capitalization and disregard for any comma placement was nothing new in the communication with your other best friend. Foolish had said several times that he had far too little time for meticulous grammar when you two were so on the same wavelength that you always knew exactly what he was going to say.

Since Eret was still talking to Phil about his university and its offerings, you just tapped him lightly. "I'm going in already, okay? Foolish says he's in the living room if you're looking for us," you let him know and then turned to Phil: "It's really nice to have you and Techno here again. I'm sure we'll see each other a time or two today!"

You pushed past Phil into the house and immediately the whole atmosphere changed. Apart from the fact that you already had to weave your way through the people in the entrance hall, which seemed a hundred times harder without Eret, the house looked more like a nightclub in the light of the many lanterns and LED lights than the friendly family home with the large open windows, the family photos and the freshly baked treats that George's mother provided at study dates before exams. You passed the kitchen first, where an array of snacks, store-bought but also a great many homemade, lay ready on the large kitchen island. The kitchen seemed a bit quieter, with people sitting on the counters and chatting.

You kept walking, cell phone clutched to your chest so you had a quick excuse if someone approached you that you didn't want to start a conversation with. Luckily, you got through to the living room easier than you did through the entryway, even though you felt like you were stuck to the floor, no sooner did your searching eyes find Foolish.

It wasn't hard to find him, the beer pong table was in both the loudest and most crowded corner of the large living room, probably thanks to the football team playing. As always, the guys had the attention of all the girls, who were standing around the table in flocks, just waiting to catch one of the glances with their giggles, or even to be approached. You could understand them somewhere, the football team was really attractive.

At one side of the table, Dream, Sapnap, Quackity and Bad were dueling with Sam, Puffy (the only girl on the football team), Ponk and, of course, Foolish, who was currently holding the white ping-pong ball between his thumb, index and middle fingers in high concentration and aiming for the last red cup on the opposing side. Sapnap was facing him, a white bandana holding his brown hair out of his face so that he wouldn't miss Foolish's throw by a distracting strand of hair, and his dark eyes were fixed on your best friend.

There were still 5 full cups on the table by Foolish's side, while there was only the one last one on the other, which Sapnap was trying to defend with his life. You wandered over to the table, expecting Foolish to finish the game so you could say hello to him, but it turned out differently. Foolish's previously focused gaze shifted as you stepped closer to the table, nearly black eyes darting to you the moment Foolish cocked his arm, let it shoot forward and let go of the ball.

He smiled at you until the white ball flew just past the edge of the red cup and was knocked away by Sapnap. The smile didn't last, Sapnap's team cheered at the blown chance of a win and Foolish's head snapped back into play.

You, however, were back on cloud nine. That smile, albeit brief, would drive you out of your mind!

With a sigh, you turned away from the table and the crowd and, with the cheers of Sapnap hitting a ball behind you, walked to the long gray sofa at the other end of the room. You were joined by two boys you didn't know and a couple engaged in a heated make-out session, allowing you to sink into your thoughts undisturbed as you continued to watch the game from a distance.

After a while of just watching Foolish's team lose cup after cup, someone dropped down on the couch next to you with a groan. You didn't have to look to the side, you felt the meaningful, slightly appraising look.

"Well, what does Phil say about-"

"What would you do if Foolish found someone else?", Eret interrupted you. Your head sure did snap around now, nervous eyes darting over Eret's serious face. "What would you do if Foolish met someone today?" he repeated his question as you just looked at him with your mouth slightly open.

"I...I don't know. Eret, why would you ask me something like that?"

The brunette shook his head. "You can't talk your way out of this one with I don't know. You know the answer, you know how you feel. Let me ask you again, what would you do if you came back to school at the end of the summer and Foolish was there cozying up to a partner at the lockers?"

You lapse into silence, in pure protest because you didn't want to answer him to such a stupid question, and because your mind was projecting thousands of painful images to that stupid question.

You saw the hallway of the school in front of you, feeling the excitement and nervousness of being once again back in the classrooms after a liberating summer, instead of spending time outside. Then you saw Foolish, leaning against the blue lockers he usually waited in front of to escort you to your class, but he wasn't standing alone. Leaning against your locker was another person, someone clearly more popular and handsome, with your best friend's jacket tied around their hips.

You bit your lower lip until it was about to pop open and looked away from the image into Eret's warm eyes. "Why not me? I would wonder why this isn't me and wish to be in this place," your voice didn't really sound like yourself, lost was the excited zest in your words and you were a little annoyed at this mood kill from Eret. "You're such a killjoy, Eret," you cursed your best friend. "Couldn't I have just enjoyed the party and forgotten about that stupid crush for once? It brings me nothing but heartache and shitty rhetoric questions don't really help me get over him."

"But you don't want to get over him at all." Eret soothingly put a hand on your thigh, thus stopping the up and down bobbing of your leg, which you had started oblivious to. "You asked yourself why you couldn´t be the person with him, so you're already hoping for something out of your crush."

You snorted. "At most, that it will disappear soon."

You almost thought you heard an "Unbelievable you two" from Eret's murmurs, but the loud music and cheering from the beer pong table quickly drew your attention back to the other side of the room.

There stood Foolish, or rather there he was leaping straight up into the air, hands clenched into fists in a victory pose as if he was about to hit the ceiling and was then lifted up by a screaming Sam holding onto his middle.

You couldn't help but grin, Foolish laughing loudly and heartily at their team's victory and jumping up and down so joyously, arms wrapped around his friends; his energy just infected you along with it, even if you had been thinking about heartbreak until a few seconds ago.

That was probably the other side of the coin, the benefit of your crush. Foolish's cheerful outlook on life, as well as his enthusiasm for even the tiniest things that others wouldn't even give a second thought, made you thrilled, too. There was nothing that cheered you up more after a day than walking around with Foolish, listening to him rave about the architecture of the houses, and then completely forget what he was talking about in the next second because a dog came towards you, which of course he had to pet.

All he had to do was smile at you, and you wouldn't even care if the world ended in front of you.

His laughter lit up not only the room, but your soul like nothing had ever done before.

Your sudden change of mood didn't escape Eret's notice either, as he had only quietly watched your whole posture relax, barely having looked at Foolish, everything about you had loosened up and any tension from before had fallen off, disappeared from the face of the earth, solely through a smile.

His hand, still on your thigh, patted your leg as Foolish hugged his friends one last time, giving a pissed off looking Sapnap a thumbs up and a "Maybe next time" before pushing two girls aside, his target: you guys, more likely you. Eret wasn't even sure if Foolish had noticed him at all.

Eret leaned toward you, placing his other hand on your glowing cheeks. "You'll never find out if it could have been you if you don't risk it, darling," he said softly enough that it could be swallowed by the music, but you heard his every word despite the bass and the loud pounding of your heart in your ears.

"I don't want to mess anything up," your voice broke, so softly you whispered your fears as you continued to smile at the approaching Foolish.

The hand on your cheek stroked your burning skin, the cool gold of Eret's many rings sending a pleasant and soothing chill through you, drawing you into the touch. Then Eret breathed a gentle kiss on your cheek, light as a feather and at the same time with so much strength behind it that for a moment no worries could get through to you and your best friend.

"You won't mess anything up," Eret reassured you, lips painted with lip gloss leaving a cool imprint on your skin.

You turned your head to him, watching as he stood up and then smiled, smearing away the remnants of pink lip gloss with his thumb.

Foolish had finally made his way over to you, his grin and euphoric aura of victory radiating off him, not even a little bit shaken by the threat thrown after him by Sapnap to kick him out for cheating -how can you even cheat at beer pong?!-.

He had just arrived at the couch when Eret turned around, only a cloud of sweet perfume and the slow onset of his words were signs that he had been there, at which point he had disappeared into the crowd, his curly brown head bobbing above the heads of the others in the direction of the kitchen.

You didn't have a moment to think about his words, in a whirlwind of a stormy greeting and overlapping sentences spoken far too quickly from, "Did you see my last throw? We won with that!" to "I'm so glad you're here! Techno and Phil are here too, did you meet them at the door?" and "I like your outfit, did you do something with your hair? It's all sparkly!" came upon you just as surprisingly, yet not unwantedly, as Foolish himself.

Hastily he dropped onto the couch next to you, only a few millimeters lay between your legs and all you had to do was move your hand slightly to the side and your fingertips would have touched, and put an arm behind you on the backrest. Dark brown, nearly black eyes sparkled at you overjoyed, his chest still rising rapidly at his quick breaths.

You waited until he paused to catch his breath. "I didn't see the throw, unfortunately, but I'm sure it was fantastic! And certainly better than the one I saw when I came in," at your teasing nudge to his side, a slight blush spread to the tips of Foolish's ears and he turned his chin away from you, mumbling something unintelligible. It looked incredibly cute, almost twisting your thoughts, but you quickly tried to stop that. Distractedly, you pressed your knee against his thigh, "And Sapnap didn't kick you out? You seem to have really kicked their asses in the beginning."

"Oh, you should have seen us!" laughed Foolish enthusiastically "I hit the first ball right away, just like Puffy and Sam. Quackity threw so badly at that game that I didn't even have to drink. Shortly after you wrote me I broke my high score of 4 hits in a row, I guess you are and will always be my lucky charm"

Lucky charm, a word that basically spoke for itself, and yet there was much more to it than others might suspect. The first time the name had come up was when you had accompanied Foolish to a football game, whereupon the team, stuck in a losing streak, seemed to have found new strength, for they won the game by a landslide.

After that, Foolish had begun to attribute any good fortune that happened to him around you to you, an A on a test he hadn't studied for, a postponed paper he had forgotten, a found bill he had taken you out for ice cream with afterward and you had enjoyed a refreshing fruit ice cream over the nice weather.

While Foolish kept talking about the party, the summer, the sloping roof of a house two streets away, and about Sapnap's frustration about losing, and you kept interjecting "yes", "ah i know what you mean", "mhm!", you slid deeper into the back of the seat and thus closer into Foolish's open side. You didn't notice much of that, your thoughts were centered around Foolish's beaming face, the way he emphasized everything with his hands and the passion behind every single word. He could have lectured you on math, if he did it as enthusiastically as he was doing it now, you were sure you would hang on his lips even under the circumstances of the hated subject.

It was no good hanging on his lips. It happened automatically, when he pronounced a word in a special way or his tongue moistened the lips dried from speaking your eyes automatically fell on his mouth, wandered over the pink, curved lips in a certain longing for closeness. You couldn't help it, your body and brain had detached themselves from rationality.

Damn it Eret, what kind of madness have you put in my head? you asked yourself as you caught yourself staring at Foolish's lips again, Eret's encouraging words now a mockery of your childish feelings over which you had lost all control. Before that night, you had always been well able to contain it all, to ignore that turmoil in your stomach when Foolish was present, and you certainly wouldn't have allowed yourself to so obviously fall prey to those nagging thoughts and hopes.

Although you didn't have any rational thoughts while listening, you knew exactly how dangerous it could become if the two of you continued to squat on each other here and not join the party. After all, you were here to party, to let go, and not to sit on the couch all evening pining over a love with no prospect of reciprocation.

In keeping with your decision to suppress your feelings, as usual, the song echoing through the house ended, of which you hadn't even noticed that it had drawn a large portion of the guests down to you and now significantly more young people were standing pressed together, singing along loudly to the music, and the melody faded into another one that was very familiar to you.

Your eyes opened wide, as did your lips, as you grabbed Foolish's hand, gasping for air, and shouting "Oh my God Foolish we have to dance!" you dragged him up off the couch. Laughing, he followed you, his warm hand in yours and close on your heels, as otherwise you would surely have gotten lost in the thickening crowd.

You found your place quite centrally, a narrow gap that practically forced you to stand chest to chest, but you were still firmly convinced it wouldn't matter to you, after all you had often danced close together as friends.

The people around you began to sing along with the lyrics, a wave of electric tension settled over the room smoky from a fog machine that had suddenly started and the smell mixed with that of sweat, alcohol and despite these infusions, you could only smell Foolish. His perfume was not really strong, it reminded you of trips to nature where you talked about God and the world, summer nights like this one where you walked an extra detour through the gardens after parties and fir trees where you used to climb up. It took over your senses, and with every breath, you became dizzier in the most delightful way.

Someone turned the music up louder, how that even worked at the previous volume was a wonder to you, but you immediately felt the effect the now floor-shaking bass had on everyone. The chorus became louder as well, bodies pressed against each other, crouching slightly to feel the dramatically rising song, and when a push in your back pushed you right up against Foolish and his hands placed themselves on your hips as if of their own accord, you were too immersed in singing along to think twice about it.

Foolish swayed along with the music, chest pressed to chest, your heartbeat one with the fast beat of the song.

The dance was different than usual, more intimate, closer, more willing than it should be, had the right to be. Every fiber of your body yearned for the feeling of being in his arms forever, and in a moment when Foolish pressed his forehead against yours, black eyes blazing with the white flickering lights of the room dancing along with you, focused on you alone, and you were held by his hands in a way so possessive you thought the world would never stop spinning, the urge to be his burned away any worries.

You wanted to be the person standing with him at the lockers after summer, his jacket against your body and your heart in his hands.

It was his dilated pupils as you wrapped your arms around his neck and the brief falter in the text before he caught himself again that made you braver.

You won't mess up

The way you and Foolish had initially bonded over enthusiastic conversations about architecture and coffee-infused nights of almost-forgotten school projects always had a special, platonic, and loving place in your memories and in your heart, but your closeness now, albeit in the heated arms of a balmy summer night and the overflowing influences of a student party, was a different ardency all altogether, much more intimate and deeper in a way that you couldn't help but tilt your head slightly closer to him, guided by that brewing feeling inside you. Your lips lightly brushed his before you pulled back, if only enough to look into his onyx eyes, eyes that silently yet so clearly screamed at you to get closer to him again.

There it was. The clear threshold between friendship and something more, which you were usually afraid of. One step over it and there would be no turning back, not for you or your heart.

His breath met your slightly parted lips with heat. Foolish looked at you intensely, his grip loosening as if to give you the chance to break away from him. He leaned to your side, pressed his mouth to your ear and his voice, rough from singing chased a pleasant shiver over your body. "I think I just fell in love with your favorite song" Foolish laughed "Ironic isn't it?" Even if his words sounded sarcastic, there wasn't a bit of evil behind them, if it was uncertainty. "I think, no I know that I fell in love with that song because you always seem to be another person when you hear it. You are... I will sound stupid so please don't laugh. When that song comes on you are happy, without a care for anything else going on. That's why I put it more than ten times in the playlist that George send around."

Surprised, you turned your head so you could look at him again. The butterflies in your stomach turned into fireworks, exploding at the loving gesture, which you had not expected. That Foolish had even noticed how much you liked the song was news to you, although it might explain why it had been played at every party so far. Had that all been him? Had Eret, that mysterious bastard actually been right and the two of you had been blindly prancing around each other without even once thinking of the possibility that the other might feel the same way? Great, you felt pretty stupid, even if those thoughts were quickly dispelled by a pair of lips at the corner of your mouth.

Your breath caught in your throat. "I wish I had some liquid courage for this, though I'm intoxicated by your mere proximity," Foolish continued talking, caught in his typical flow of speech "You're my best friend, and without you, life is boring and dull, you're like a drug I take to see the world in its most beautiful colors. You know what I mean? You make my head spin, I don't know what to think when you enter the room. Even just now I dropped the ball because you suddenly stood in the room and looked so incredibly good- you still and actually always look good."

His tongue ran across his lips nervously once more.

"If you say no, I understand and I'll never ask again, but I want to kiss you so bad right now"

Your foot hovered over the threshold.

"Do it" you shouted over the music and Foolish sped forward. Your lips met in an explosion from the loud singing of people continuing to dance, all completely blind to the fact that your lives had just completely changed.

The threshold of friendship had been behind you for quite some time, it was only now that you had finally been able to see it.

tagging: @icarusthefoolish

#mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt writing #mcyt imagine #mcyt headcanons #foolish gamers fanfiction #foolish gamers imagine #foolish gamers x reader #foolish gamers x you #foolish x reader #foolish x you #college au

[rosyadventure]

Fics by Theme || Like a Boss

Masterlist of Lists | Holy Grail Fics

In celebration of Women's History Month (in the US) and (belated) International Women's Day, these are my favorite fics that star a strong, confident, badass OC.

💪 = read these first (if you haven't already)!

P.S. I was planning on releasing this list earlier in the month but I've been busy studying for my board exams 😅. Hopefully I'll be able to get on a more regular schedule in mid-April after it's over!

After Midnight Series (m) by @gyukult | JJK | doctor reader, bad boy JK, fwb

Watch (read?) as the OC realizes that she does want a family, children, and white picket fence after all, and navigates finding a serious relationship while maintaining boundaries at work.

“Jeon Jungkook only likes seeing you after midnight.”

At the Heart of It All Series (m) 💪 by loseyoutoloveme (AO3) | KTH ft. Jaehyun (NCT) | college au, established relationship au, CS major reader, soccer captain TH, football captain Jaehyun, e2l, Jaehyun really calls Tae every letter in the alphabet except V

For all of the women in STEM out there, a story where the OC learns to own her intelligence and ambition instead of hiding behind a facade to please her parents. Tae isn't painted in the best light in this story (and of course, this is a fictional character) so you might want to skip this one if that upsets you.

How much longer can you keep up your ruse of being the perfect daughter and future, supportive soccer wife before everything comes crashing down?

Break My Mind's Eye Series (m) by @flowerwrites06 | JJK ft. MYG | arranged marriage au, fashion designer reader, drug lord JK, older brother TH, police officer YG, angst, mentions of drug use

A tale as old as time: sacrificing yourself for someone you love. I'm amazed at how the OC manages to flourish as a fashion designer in the face of adversity, and has the clarity of mind to make tough decisions that affect her and those around her.

"Jungkook thinks marriage is the only way to seal a deal."

Chism Series 💪 by @kpopfanfictrash | KTH | fantasy au, magic reader, winter god TH, s2l

This OC is strong in terms of her magic abilities as well as her resolution to stand up for what's right. She has an open mind and a lot of curiosity, which drives her harrowing journey to bring back seasons in a land that is permanently stuck in summer.

“Do not listen to what the prisoner has to say and above else, keep your head. The old gods may be dead, but the humans are living.”

Fight for You Series (m) 💪 by @ahundredtimesover | JJK | rich au, heiress/marketing executive reader, bodyguard JK, s2l, angst

All of us have had hurtful assumptions made about us – in the OC's case, everyone thinks that she's superficial and more interested in socializing than taking over her parents' business. What I love about this OC is how she stays true to herself and allows others continue to think what they want (even though it still hurts).

Jungkook takes the job as your bodyguard with the sole intention of earning enough money to fund his dreams. It takes him a long time to realize that his dreams are a lot closer than he previously thought.

From Home Series (m) 💪 by @gyukult | JJK | fake dating, baker reader, rich JK, e2l

The OC has a culinary degree, two jobs, and several bones to pick with Jungkook (the biggest of which seems to be his lackadaisical attitude toward money, even though he no longer has any). While working hard to achieve her dream of opening a bakery, she also learns how to accept help from others.

When Jungkook is kicked out, cut-off from his parents’ money, and forced to be a member of the working class, he views you as his ticket back home.

Matchmaker Series (m) 💪 by @bonvoyagenoona | JJK ft. MYG | CEO reader, banker JK, CFO YG, e2l

Aside from the fact that this OC founded her own business using evidence-based methods of matching people together (super cool in and of itself), I love how she's so confident in the algorithm that she's willing to take on the worst possible customer.

"How are you supposed to help find Namjoon the perfect match when Jungkook keeps sneering at your state-of-the-art, well-researched system? Then again, there’s nothing that your science can’t fix."

No Blueberries (m) by @gyukult | KTH | college au, reader & TH work at the library, annoyances2l (enemies seems too harsh)

It's refreshing to read about an OC who straightforwardly and unabashedly pursues a relationship with someone she's interested in.

You're a simple woman who knows what you want: Kim Taehyung.

Office Hours Series (m) by @bonvoyagenoona | KNJ ft. KSJ | college au, professor reader/NJ/SJ, e2l

For all of the women out there struggling through their graduate studies in academia, the OC tackles challenges that almost seem too real: balancing teaching and research duties with mental health, the struggle to get tenure, and dealing with divorce when all your work is tied to your married name.

"Just over twenty-four hours ago, both of you were looking into each others’ eyes from across a conference room table, screaming that the other would shut up. Now, you realize that there are so many more questions to ask, and that you desperately want to find out each other’s answers."

Once Upon a Bracelet (m) by @ladyartemesia | JJK ft. KSJ | fantasy, sorceress reader, prince SJ/JK, e2l

I love how fierce this OC is – she's never one to back away from a challenge, and she finds someone who kindles her sparks into wildfires.

“Jeon Jungkook is (probably) a former necromancer and (definitely) the wrong prince… but the bracelets tell a different story.”

Ready or Not Series (m) by @littlemisskookie | KTH | Battle Royale (Hunger Games-esque) au, dystopian au, student reader/TH, ☠️

NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. A story in which the OC has been trained her whole life to win the Battle Royale, and she fully intends to win.

"Your class field trip turns out to be a battle to the death."

Reliability Series by @mrsparknamjoon | KTH | CEO au, businesswoman reader, CEO TH, e2l

A series that starts with "fake it 'til you make it" and turns into loving yourself enough to know when you should leave a poor work environment and relationship that isn't working out.

You don't know what you got until it's gone. When you leave Taehyung's company, he realizes that he's lost more than a trusted advisor and former business school rival.

Scumbag Series by @tangerineyoongles | MYG & PJM (feat. KSJ) | ongoing, bookstore owner reader, flower shop owner JM, angst, s2f2l, mentions of death and alcoholism

Strength comes in different shapes and sizes. Sometimes the hardest thing to do in life is to admit that you were wrong, acknowledge that your actions hurt others, and move forward the best you can.

"Life had not dealt you a favorable hand, but instead of trying to make the best of it, you live your life with a bitter kick in your step, taking anyone and everyone you can down with you."

Straight Shooter (m) by @snackhobi | MYG | futuristic/sci fi au, weapons builder reader, assassin YG, e2l

I appreciate how this OC is confident in her abilities as an amazing weapon designer and continues on with her work (albeit with stronger protection) despite a terrifying break in.

Yoongi swears that the only reason he visits you is because you’re the best gunsmith in the city.

The Road to Radiant by @kookskingdom | JJK | gamer au, team captain reader, rival team member JK, e2l

A reminder that even good leaders have moments of self-doubt, and that teams are only as strong as the weakest link.

When one of your team members leaves to join your rival team, you scramble to find a replacement.

#bts fic rec #bts scenarios #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #taehyung x reader

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Absentee

Character: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Summary: When Y/N fell in love with Jason Todd, she didn’t realize the normalcy she lost would become such a problem in their relationship. And she didn’t know how much pain it would cause to hide her boyfriend’s secrets. 

Word Count: 4,600 – One Shot

A/N: This is probably a really personal story. And you all might hate it or not relate to it. But oh well...

Y/N had her music playing in her headphones just quietly enough so she could hear them announce when her plane was boarding.

Between corporate holidays and what was left of her vacation days for the year, she was able to go home for a week and a half.

Only, she was hoping that this year she wouldn’t be going home alone.

But when Jason got sucked into a case two weeks before their flight back to her hometown, she knew there was no way he’d be accompanying her.  

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just–“ Jason had tried to tell her when she realized they weren’t going to be spending the holidays together.

“You don’t have to apologize. There are more important things right now than meeting my crazy family,” Y/N laughed lightly. “But they’ll be bummed.”

Jason still looked so down guiltily. He knew that Y/N had been downplaying how excited she was for her family to meet him.

Yeah, Y/N was upset, but her family was even more upset. Being in a different part of the country and them never putting in the effort to visit her, they had yet to meet Jason. Even when the two of them had been dating for 10 months.

Y/N had met all of Jason’s brothers, along with Bruce and Alfred. It had all been against his will, his family strategically running into them or invading his apartment when they knew Y/N would be there. Jason acted annoyed by it, but Y/N knew he was happy for her to meet them and without him having to act like he cared.

But Jason had only ever waved on FaceTime to her family or sometimes answered calls from them when Y/N left her phone next to him and went to another room.

It wasn’t like Y/N needed her family’s approval. She knew what she wanted and what was best for her. Their opinions didn’t hold as much weight with her as they thought.

But Y/N also had never introduced her family to a boyfriend before. Things either fizzled out before then or the relationship was so casual that the thought of even mentioning a boy-toy’s name in passing to her family made her want to jump out a window.

———

“So Jason couldn’t get out of work last minute?” Y/N’s older sister, Kate, asked as they drove to her house after picking her up from arrivals.

And so it began.

“No,” Y/N answered. “His boss is sort of an asshole. He’s a workaholic and can’t fathom why anyone else would ever be anything different.”

The truth was that Jason didn’t really have a job. When it came to income, Jason was resourceful. He was still a hitman for hire. But once the killing part of that job stopped – which was long before Y/N ever met him – it didn’t rake in as much money. Most of his money was either stolen from criminals or he would work odd jobs here and there.

However, the lie Jason and Y/N had agreed on was that he was a mechanic. And Jason did know absolutely everything there was to know about cars and motorcycles. He’d even promised Y/N that if she ever decided she wanted him to drop the vigilante life, he would do just that and start his own mechanic shop. But Y/N knew better than to ever ask that of him.

“Cars don’t stop breaking – even around the holidays,” Y/N joked darkly.

“Mhmm,” her sister answered.

Y/N already knew what her family thought of her boyfriend’s “job”: it wasn’t good enough for them.

The only reason they let it slide was because they knew Bruce Wayne was his adoptive father. Therefore they interpreted Jason’s ‘lack of ambition’ as his personal rebellion against his privilege and upbringing.

“Mom said he sent flowers and a bottle of wine to the house today and apologized for not being able to make it,” Kate added.

Y/N quickly looked at her in surprise.

“So I’m guessing from your reaction that it wasn’t your idea,” Kate teased.

“No,” Y/N shook her head. “He didn’t even tell me he did that.”

That was a Bruce Wayne move for sure. It didn’t matter that Jason had a rocky relationship with him, the Wayne charm and manners were deceivingly contagious.

————

Later that night, when everyone was in bed and Y/N decided to finally unpack. And she was surprised to find two of Jason’s t-shirts hidden in her bag. They were her favorites of his, always stealing them. Mostly she wore them to lounge around the apartment or to wear to bed. But her favoritism was in no way hidden.

Jason must’ve snuck them in her bag while she wasn’t looking.

Y/N smiled as she grabbed one of the shirts and raised it to her nose. It still smelled like him.

It was enough to make her feel guilty for not having called him yet. She’d texted him that she landed, but other than that, she’d been pretty silent.

She grabbed her cell and dialed.

“Hey, you.”

He always answered her calls as if they made his day, even if she’d called him multiple times that day already. His reaction to her calls never failed to make Y/N smile.

“I didn’t really expect you to pick up,” Y/N admitted.

“Always got time for you,” he answered lightly.

But then she heard background noise: wind blowing, distant sirens, people shouting at each other nearby.

Jason was on patrol. Or maybe he was doing some recon. 

But Y/N knew not to ask. 

“I see some of your clothes made the trip,” Y/N commented through a smile. Jason could hear the smile in her voice. “Those t-shirts have a mind of their own…”

“And my mom thought the flowers and card were sweet,” she added.

“I might not have met her yet, but I know that’s not gonna be enough to win her over,” Jason answered darkly.

Y/N didn’t say anything, because they both knew he was right.

“Flight was fine?” Jason asked, changing the subject.

“Mhmm.”

“I miss you.”

Y/N shook her head and laughed. “No, you don’t. I’ve been gone for like 12 hours.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

She rolled her eyes. “Always the romantic.”

More sirens could be heard. They sounded closer this time. “Are you being careful?” All playfulness had disappeared from her voice.

“Of course.”

Y/N sighed. “Jason, I’m serious. Please, be safe.”

“I know. I know. Don’t worry about me.”

“You know that’s not gonna happen, J.”

He ignored her comment. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

————————

To say Y/N’s time at home was rough…was an understatement.

If Y/N wasn’t being asked a million questions about Jason, she was being interrogated for why he wasn’t there. And if Jason wasn’t the subject of the conversation, people acted like she was single – some even talking about setting her up.

Y/N realized she preferred the former.

Every year, her family threw a giant party.

And for the past five years, Y/N had always been the only one that was single. All of her siblings, all of her cousins, all of their family friends, all of their neighbors…every single one of them had a significant other during those years. 

Everyone...except her. Now, this year, all of them had kids or were expecting.

It was exhausting. 

Sometimes Y/N felt like they were all robots programmed to do the exact same things at the exact same time –  no original thought to be had.

Y/N would be lying if she didn’t spend most of the party wishing Jason was at her side. He would make fun of awkward situations with her. And he would stick up for her when her family teased her a little too much.

The other thing Y/N wasn’t prepared for was unintentionally studying  her family’s boyfriends or husbands. She felt like she was watching everyone’s relationships through a different lens now that she herself had her own. And to put it as kindly as possible…she was not impressed.

Y/N noticed how none of the men offered to help in the kitchen, instead deciding to sit on the couch and watch football and scream at the television. Or how when her cousin handed her son to her husband, and he acted like he didn’t even know how to hold the one year old. And later, when his diaper needed to be changed, he handed him back to his wife as if he had no idea how to do it himself.

Yet her family was stuck on Jason not being able to visit or that he was a mechanic.

What did someone’s job matter if they treated her like she was their world and he the best thing to ever happen to her?

If Jason were here, he would be in the kitchen cooking. And if they had a kid, it would be a 50/50 job – not a burden only Y/N had to bare. He would try to get to know everyone because he would want to know the people who raised the woman he loved. He’d make sure to check in on Y/N every once in awhile, making sure she didn’t need anything. 

Thinking about it all made Y/N miss Jason even more.

Needing to get some air, she decided to go outside and let the winter chill refresh her. It had been getting too hot in the house.

Y/N pulled her phone out of her back pocket and tapped Jason’s name.

“Hey, you.”

“Hi,” she sighed.

Just hearing his voice made her feel a bit better and tension left her body.

“What’s wrong?” Jason quickly asked.

“Nothing. Just…wanted to check in.”

For a second, she was going to explain that she had the sudden realization that all the men connected to her family were trash. And witnessing it was making her miss him more. But she didn’t really want to waste her breath and she figured she’d just come off dramatic more than sincere.

“Are you at your apartment?” She asked quickly.

“Yeah, I’m gonna leave for patrol in a bit…”

Then Y/N’s mind suddenly thought, ‘Fuck it.’

“Jason?”

“Yeah, kid?”

“If you were here…” She began softly.

“Mhmm,” he encouraged.

“What would you be doing?”

Jason was a bit confused by the question for a second. But he slowly got what she was asking.

“Well,” he took in a shallow breath. “I would’ve stolen Alfred’s famous chocolate chip cookie recipe and whipped up those bad boys to bring over. And I’d pretend to care about football with your dad.”

That made Y/N laugh.

“I’d help your mom in the kitchen, even when she pretended not to want it.”

“Really laying it on thick, huh?”

But Y/N knew he was right. Jason was the cook between the two of them – and a good one, too. He also was a helper. He couldn’t sit back and watch someone do something while he did nothing. No matter how big or small.

“Shhh,” Jason reprimanded and then continued. “But most importantly, I’d try to get as many embarrassing stories about you as I possibly could.”

“Well, thank goodness you’re not here then,” she teased with a roll of her eyes.

Jason was quiet a second before he asked, “Wanna tell me what’s wrong now?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Just miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

“All my family’s boyfriends and husbands are losers. And I guess I’m just now realizing it.”

“Ahh,” Jason noted.

Now he really knew why she’d asked her question.

“It’s snowing here,” he told her as he looked out the window. “It’s almost making Gotham look pretty.”

“Are you going to the manor for Christmas?”

“Probably not,” Jason answered.

“Jason,” she grumbled. “What are you going to do instead? Sit in your apartment alone?”

“I’m gonna patrol. Crime doesn’t take holidays, Y/N.”

“Cheesy,” she pointed out. “Please be with your family, Jason. I don’t want you to be alone. OK?”

“I’ll think about it.”

Y/N knew that was as good as it was going to get.

Then she felt something on her cheek and she looked up. “Hey, it just started snowing here, too…” She told him with her head tilted back.

“I love you,” he sighed.

“I love you, too. Be careful tonight, Jason.”

Y/N gave herself a few more moments outside before returning to the party.

When she walked back inside, she immediately heard her name. But no one was calling to her. 

She was being talked about. 

She recognized her mom and sister’s voices, and then a couple of her aunts. They were talking around the corner, completely unaware that Y/N was in hearing distance.

So Y/N couldn’t help but linger.

“She says he works a lot. Every time I facetime her, he’s never there,” her sister Kate told the women. “I wouldn’t even really know what he looked like if it weren’t for her photos that she’s sent me. He doesn’t have any social media.”

“I just can’t believe he couldn’t get work off. Around the holidays?” Her mom added in utter disbelief. “Sounds like it won’t be surprising when she finds out he’s been unfaithful,” one her aunts commented.

The group hummed in agreement, but also disappointment. 

“He doesn’t even live in Metropolis. He lives in Gotham,” her mother supplied, only further backing the idea that Jason wasn’t committed. “God knows why. But I hate that Y/N is constantly going there. No good news comes from that city.”

Y/N clenched her teeth in anger.

If only they knew the truth about Jason. 

He was a hero and risked his life every night for an entire city – a city that had done nothing but hurt him. And he was 20 times the man than any of the men in their family.

She just wanted to scream at them for being so judgmental about a person they’d never even met.

But she couldn’t.

So Y/N stormed up to her childhood bedroom and decided she had enough of the party.

She shouldn’t have come home for the holidays. She would’ve rather waited for Jason to get back from his Red Hood work than listen to her family misjudge the first man she ever truly loved and wanted to share with them.

————————

Y/N was so tired when she got off the plane.

She felt like a zombie as she walked to baggage claim to grab her duffle.

What she wasn’t expecting was to find her boyfriend waiting for her in arrivals.

Y/N had told him she would just get a car.

But Jason seemed to have other ideas.

Y/N’s entire face brightened at the sight of him.

She practically ran to him and jumped into his arms.

Jason chuckled at her enthusiasm.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, her words muffled by his body.

“I thought I’d surprise you,” Jason said through a smile before he kissed her head.

Y/N didn’t respond, just held him tightly.

“Come on. Let’s get your bag and head home,” he finally told her.

—

“So, how was it?” Jason asked once they got into his car. Y/N shrugged, “It was fine.”

Her lack of details and curt response was enough warning for Jason to realize things were not totally fine between them.

He didn’t bother asking for more details during the car ride home. Instead, he answered all her questions about what he had been up to, how the case was going, if his family was alright.

Once they got back to Y/N’s apartment in Metropolis, the grace period seemed to be over.

Y/N had grown quiet as she moved around her apartment, unpacking and putting all her things away.

Jason walked into her bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed as she folded clean clothes. “This might be a shot in the dark. But I can’t help but feel that you’re not happy with me,” he finally pointed out.

She didn’t answer or look at him, just kept folding.

“Did something happen while you were at home?” Jason pushed.

She still didn’t answer. So Jason reached for her hands, holding them gently.

“Hey, talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I just didn’t expect how hard it was going to be…” she finally whispered with a bowed head.

“What would be?”

“Just going home without you,” she explained.

“Did something happening?”

“I mean, kinda? Not really. They just…” she hesitated. Did she really want to confess all of this to him? She knew it would only hurt him. "They think you’re a bad boyfriend.”

Jason just nodded slowly.

He should’ve seen this coming. Of course her family didn’t think he was good enough. How could they think anything different?

“I’m just…fucking frustrated,” Y/n groaned. “I knew what I was getting into when you told me about your other life and who you really were. I was willing to keep your secret and protect it. I just never thought about how hard it would be keeping it from my family.”

She shook her head. “They think you’re not committed or something. And that…that you’re probably cheating on me.”

The idea of him ever doing that her made Jason sick to his stomach.

“I’m sorry,” Jason mumbled.

“What?” Y/N gasped. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“But I have,” he argued. “I put you in this position.”

“No, I did. I did when I fell in love with you,” she clarified.

“But I don’t want you lying to the people you love.”

“I’m not telling you this because I’m mad at you or blame you, Jason. I’m trying to tell you why I’m frustrated.”

She rubbed her face. “I just want them to know what an amazing person you are...and how brave and selfless. How you take care of me and love me and…and protect me.” Her eyes began to water. “They’re never gonna know the real you…even when they do meet you. And I fucking hate it.”

“So what if you told them?” Jason offered.

Her eyes widened at that. “Jason…”

“I’m serious. What if you told them?”

She thought about it. But she already knew the answer.

“It wouldn’t do any good. If I told them, then they’d be worried about me. Worried that your other life was putting me in danger. Worried that I would get pulled into it.”

Jason knew she was right.

Her family probably preferred an absentee boyfriend over a vigilante.

“But I see how the shitty men that have joined my family are. And you’re nothing like them. You’re so much better. And they’ll never even know.”

“Come here,” Jason muttered before he pulled her to him.

He let her body sink into his as he held her.

“I’ll do anything you want,” he whispered as he rubbed her back. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I always wondered what it would be like to finally been in a relationship – to just have someone on my team no matter what. I went to all those family gatherings thinking I’d never have it. And once I did, once I found you…” Her thoughts died out. “I just never expected it to be this way.”

“Do you regret it?” Jason asked as he pulled away to look in her eyes.

Her brow furrowed. “Regret what?”

“Being with me. Falling in love with me.”

Her heart broke at the question. “Oh, Jason. Of course not. Never.”

“What if I stopped?” He asked.

“No. I would never ask that of you,” she quickly shot down.

“I’d do it for you,” he tried to argue.

“I know you would. But I’m not asking. Because I know what it would do to you. Every time you’d see something in the news, you’d hate yourself. Because you would convince yourself that you could’ve stopped it. And maybe you would be right.” She took in a deep breath. “Red Hood isn’t just something you do. He’s a part of you. And even though I worry about you constantly, I’m never gonna tell you to stop.”

Jason took his time in reading her face.

“OK?” She pushed.

He nodded.

Then he embraced her once again.

“I’m sorry you have to keep my secrets,” he breathed into her hair.

————————————

Y/N walked into Jason’s apartment.

It was a Friday night and they agreed to have her come to his place this weekend.

Jason was always weary of her coming to Gotham, preferring her to stay in the safety of Metropolis.

He knew they couldn’t do the distance forever, and eventually they’d move into together. But he wasn’t ready to leave Gotham yet. And he didn’t want Y/N to lowering herself to such a city.

“J!” Y/N called when she walked in.

He had given her keys to his apartment quite early in their relationship, and told her she was welcome at his place any time. However, he wasn’t a fan of her getting there after dark. Gotham was Gotham, and he didn’t like her wandering around the city by herself just in order to give him a surprise visit.

An envelope on Jason’s kitchen counter caught her attention.

She nosily looked at it and saw that they were plane tickets to her hometown with both of their names on each of them.  

She heard Jason walk up behind her. “What’s this?”

“A surprise,” he shrugged.

“What do you mean?” She laughed.

“We’re gonna visit your family,” he explained casually. “I called your mom and sister to find a weekend that worked.”

Y/N was shocked to silence.

“I know I fucked up when I couldn’t go with you during the holidays. I know this isn’t gonna solve everything. But I figured…it’s start.” Before he could say more, Y/N threw her arms around him.

————

Jason Todd knew how to throw on the charm. And no matter how thick he laid it on, it always felt sincere.

Y/N smiled as she watched her boyfriend interacting with her family.

He knew so much about each of them already, that he knew exactly what to talk about with every one of them.

For their long-weekend visit, they had decided to stay with her sister.

Jason knew she would be the hardest to win over and was the most protective over Y/N. He made it his personal mission to befriend her and show her how much he loved her little sister.

Y/N never said so, but Jason knew how important it was to her that Kate approved of him.

However, Jason hadn’t been able to have a conversation alone with her all weekend.

Until their last morning there.

Y/N was still sleeping when Jason had made his way to the kitchen.

He figured he could make Kate and her husband breakfast after housing them for a long weekend. And he made sure to start a pot of coffee while he was at it.

Halfway through making his specialty waffles, Kate walked into the kitchen rubbing her eyes.

“Oh, hi,” she greeted, clearly surprised to find Jason cooking in her kitchen.

“Morning,” Jason greeted.

“This is a surprise,” she said as she looked around the kitchen.

“There’s coffee if you want some.”

“T-Thanks…” she managed to mutter. “Do you need some help?”

“Nope. I got it. You just relax.”

Kate seemed to be unsure of how to behave when she was alone with her little sister’s boyfriend, and eventually sat on the kitchen stool with her coffee.

“Do you cook a lot?” She finally broke the silence with her question.

“I enjoy it,” he answered with a shrug. “I figured it’s the least I can do for you guys putting us up.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Jason.”

He continued cooking.

Kate figured this was her opportunity to get to know Jason – and not just through Y/N’s eyes. So, she started asking him question after question, and he seemed happy to answer them. Kate was surprised to find out about Jason’s traumatic childhood, making him realize that Y/N must’ve only shared his relation to Bruce Wayne and nothing more about his life before becoming an adopted Wayne.

Jason wasn’t surprised Y/N kept that part of his life to herself. She was protective of him that way. She always felt like his past was his story to tell, not hers.

“I know missing the holidays didn’t leave the best impression,” Jason told her after they’d been talking for awhile.

“You really mean a lot to Y/N. And your opinion matters more to her than you might think,” he added as he crossed his arms.

Kate seemed a little taken aback by how unafraid he was of confrontation.

He seemed more mature for his age – maybe for hers, even.

“I know I’m not going to win any of you over from just a single trip,” Jason continued. “But I’m going to work my ass off to make sure I get there.”

Kate smiled at that.

“I love her,” he told her quietly, but with determination. “She’s…Well, she’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Then he smirked. “And I’m not dumb enough to do anything to fuck things up with her.”

He took in a shallow breath. “I just…I just needed you to know that.”

Kate’s heart swelled from hearing her little sister’s boyfriend confessing his love for Y/N.

“Thank you for telling me that,” she whispered, trying to stop herself from crying. “I worry about her. And I hate that she’s so far away sometimes. I miss her.”

“She misses you, too,” Jason assured her.

“Thank you for taking care of her. I’m suddenly realizing you’re the only reason she’s eating anything that’s not out of a takeout container.”

Jason laughed. “I plead the fifth.”

Before any more could be said, Y/N walked into the kitchen as if she was sleep walking.

“Well, look who it is…” Jason teased.

Y/N walked to him silently, clearly wanting cuddles.

Jason chuckled at her, but gave her what she wanted. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. He had kept the PDA at an absolute minimum while he had been around Y/N’s family. But he couldn’t help it when Y/N was her sleepy and adorable self.

“You sleep OK?” He tried to whisper to her.

But Kate still heard it and pretended to look down at her phone.

Y/N nodded into his neck, making him chuckle at her more.

This was new for Kate, seeing her sister being loved and loving someone. Her instinct was to say it made her uncomfortable. But it was just something she wasn’t used to.

Soon Kate’s husband woke up and they all ate breakfast together.

And a few hours later, Y/N and Jason were packed and their was a Lyft was waiting outside to take them to the airport.

Jason hugged Kate and her husband and thanked them for hosting them. Then he grabbed Y/N’s bags and gave her a moment alone with her sister as he took their stuff to the car.

“I think I owe the two of you an apology…” Kate told her little sister.

“You do?”

“I think I judged him a bit too much before really giving him a chance.”

Y/N winced, but nodded. “Yeah, you did, actually.”

“He really loves you.”

Y/N smiled. “He does.”

“I just want you to be happy, you know that right?”

“I know. But sometimes you think that what makes you happy is what would make me happy. Our lives are different. And we want different things. Just because my relationship looks different than yours doesn’t mean it’s worse in some way.”

Kate nodded sadly, knowing her sister was right. “I get that now.”

-----------

A/N: I was inspired to write this when I thought about how my own family would react to me having a boyfriend like Jason Todd: a man who was secretly a vigilante and had a past too hard for anyone to ever imagine. Hopefully, other people can relate to this and it wasn’t too personal. 😬

Let me know what you thought!!!

#jason todd x reader #jason todd reader insert #red hood x reader #red hood reader insert #batfam #batboys #jason todd angst #jason todd fluff #jason todd fic #jason todd one shot #batman universe #jason todd #red hood #batman fandom #dc universe

[the-likeable-wizard-mack]

Modern Monsters: Greek Addition

SO. Greek mythology just has some of the coolest monster designs and stories in history so. I am sorta doing a modern monsters but, Greek addition. Gorgon:  While still having a head full of snakes this gorgon doesn’t let that stop her from being fashionable. She wears intricate head dresses that she makes on her own. Her fashion designs are inspired by reptiles and despite their reputation she is a huge activist for endangered scaly creatures in her area. She comes from a big family where she’s the second oldest of three sisters. Her older sister is a marriage counselor while her younger sister is still in highschool planning to go to college for art. She helps her younger sister take care of her unruly snakes in her hair since she had to deal with her snakes when she was younger. The gorgon has names for all of her snakes on her head all of them have their own personalities but, she loves them all. 

 Minotaur: Minotaur's are known to be highly aggressive and easy to anger but, this minotaur uses his extra aggression for good. He’s based on the Texas long horn and is a huge athlete. He mostly plays football and rugby with some slight wrestling on the side but, this minotaur is built like a tank. Though built like a tank and towers over most (with his added horn height to match) he’s a complete himbo. He loves to be with friends always wanting the best for people around him. He wears his heart on his sleeve being an active part of his community. His main way he helps out is with older people. He helps deliver groceries to elders in his neighborhood and helping little old ladies across the street. Centaurs: Centaurs have a strong sense of independence with the stubbornness of a...well.. horse. This centaur is a strict academic studying to become an equine doctor. Only part horse he wants to learn more about his own anatomy. He has taken account of the many accommodation that he has to have so, he’s made the best out of his awkward body situation. He has hand made wooden stable doors instead of human doors. Comfortable work space with pillows. He is particular with everything often wanting everything to go perfectly. He NEVER let’s someone get on his back. It takes a lot of trust to get on a centaur’s back and it takes a lot to get this studious centaurs trust.   Cyclopes (Oof might pop off on this one since they’re my favorite): Cyclops are big. Very big. They live for a long time and as they age they grow taller. Most cyclops can be as tall as 9ft tall or larger depending on genetics. Due to this most cyclops choose more physical labor jobs than most. Though some cyclops choose to stay in the city where they get jobs in technology. Especially those who are a bit more socially awkward. Due to their size and stature some choose to live solitary lifestyles. Especially for one who has the spirit of a lanky IT guy in the body of a hulking clumsy 8ft gentle giant. While big, this cyclops more or less harmless trying to make himself smaller than he actually is. While cyclops usually have loud powerful voices, his voice is meek yet, soft to not scare anyone. Though he does feel uncomfortable about his big body he’s still a real sweetheart. A soft-spoken giant working in IT he’s always there when someone needs some comfort. He’s a huge hugger towards those he cares about, if anyone needs to settle down with some tea and cookies he’s there to provide. Also sticking to the old traditions of his people he has a pet sheep named “Flurry”  AND...That’s it for now. I might do more soon. but, yeah I'm busy. I might make characters out of these descriptions  

#modern fantasy #urban fantasy #suburban fantasy #modern monsters #modern au #greek mythology #gorgon #minotuar #centaur #cyclops #cyclops mythology #my writing #writers #writers on tumblr #writing #writing on tumblr #fantasy writing #fantasy #my drabbles #ocs #my ocs #writing characters #modern greek mythology #greek monsters #urban fantasy fiction

[ch1giri]

heyy!! I found your blog recently and I really enjoy reading your writings! You’re an amazing writer! I’m really happy to see more Blue Lock content as well! Blue Lock is such an awesome manga and I love it so much! I look forward to more of your works! 💘

Could I also request maybe First Date headcanons with Sae, Rin, Nagi, Chigiri, Reo, Kunigami, Isagi, or any of the Blue Lock boys? Thank you!

Hi anon you are such a sweetheart thank you so much! This made my day (*≧з≦) I apologise for making you wait too long, I hope you'll like it! Also, sorry some of them were much longer than the others

First date headcanons

Characters: Sae Itoshi, Rin Itoshi, Nagi Seishiro, Reo Mikage, Chigiri Hyoma, Kunigami Rensuke and Isagi Yoichi

Sae Itoshi

• You have to be very special to catch his eye. He doesn't go just for anyone, but you, you're definitely special

• And once he confirms his feelings for you he confidently asks you out. Bonus points if you get flustered a bit, he thinks it's cute that he has that effect on you.

• Once you guys agree to go on a date this boy immediately rearranges his schedule around the date

• He tried suggesting that you two go on your first date in Spain or France. But you politely shut down his idea down, saying that he doesn't need to go overboard for your first date

• So you guys settle for a nice restaurant in Japan, he was a little bummed that he had to stay here but it's with you so he will manage

• Sae is a true gentleman, opens the door for you, pulls you out a chair, compliments you and pays for the meal

• If someone happens to see you two outside on a date tho, rumours will start immediately. But he couldn't give two shits tbh

• He would enjoy listening to your interests, Sae loves watching that spark light up in your eyes he knows the feeling of happiness that rushes through you when you talk about your interests.

• If they do happen to ask him about you on some press conferences he would just say: "Yes I'm currently dating someone, I don't get how is that related to my career."

• After your date, he would drive/walk you home and kiss you on your forehead. And when he comes back home he would have to fight the urge of buying some tickets for a foreign country to take you on your next date.

Rin Itoshi

• Like his brother, Rin seems very cold and calculated. So you have to be super interesting to catch his fancy

• Rin is introverted, so he wouldn't like to go out to some fancy restaurant. So he would take you out to the movies! He enjoys horror films so I feel like he would pick out a really good one

• After movies you guys would get ice cream and walk around, talking about anything and everything

• He would complain about all the lukewarm people he met in blue lock. And he would offer an ear to your complaints.

• He is so cute I swear, Rin is trying so hard to hide the smile that is stubbornly trying to show on his face. He doesn't want to blow his "cool guy" persona yet.

• He would walk you home and you would walk you home, but you would have to be one to initiate something. He wants to hug you, but the poor boy is just super embarrassed.

• When you hug him, or kiss him on the cheek. You can definitely see the red color creeping on his ears. When you two finally part your ways. Rin is letting that simle show, just this time it's much bigger and the pink dusting his cheeks is much more visible. But when he gets back home he puts on his cold facade

• He is not into PDA, so on your next date I feel like you two would walk around with your pinkies intertwined

Nagi Seishiro

• This one is a given, Nagi would totally take you out on an arcade date! He could effortlessly impress you, plus who doesn't love arcades?

• You two would play few intense rounds of air hockey. After the fifth time that you lost he let you win one round, just to see you jump around in victory

• After that you guys played some co op games, Mario Bros, Bubble Bobble and other classic

• Your small rivalry will continue as you guys start playing vs games like Street Fighter, Tekken and Mortal Kombat if you main Kitana you are immediately attractive idc again he will let you win just to see that cute smile on your face

• Please if you have the willpower make him play Taiko or DDR. At first he would be hesitant, because he thinks that it would require so much effort but if you bat your eyelashes he might just fall for your trap

• What can he say it's hard to resist when it comes to you. Surprisingly he is really good at Taiko, which of course earned a compliment from you "You should consider becoming a drummer." please just imagine drummer!Nagi what a concept

• Nagi saw you eyeing one of the toys in the claw machine and he just had to jump at the opportunity. So here you were with two milkshakes in your hands cheering Nagi on

• It took him a while but he got it in the end! He knows that you will treasure it, and the huge smile on your face was totally worth it

• You two walk to your house hand in hand and talk about all the games that you played you leave him with a kiss on the cheek and a promise to beat him fair and square next time

Reo Mikage

• This guy goes all out, like it's unreal how much effort he put in. The second you agreed to go out on a date with him he started planning everything out to the smallest detail

• A limo was waiting outside for you, I mean he did tell you to wear something nice, but you didn't expect this much

• He bought you flowers, he went as far as renting out the whole restaurant. Which is one of the most expensive in town.

• At first you felt kinda awkward, I mean isn't he going a bit too far? He probably spent a lot of money on this. But he reassured you that you deserve to be spoiled

• After some time you get much more comfortable, and you stop caring. You don't feel uncomfortable and out of place because Reo is there, and that's the only thing that matters

• After a very nice dinner made by the best cook in the country. You guys went on top of a tall building and just talked your hearts out, admiring the beautiful navy sky

• The limo took you guys back to your place and you were standing on your doorstep hoping that Reo would do something and he did!

• He kissed you! And you had to hold in a scream of happiness, after he left you ran into your room to let out that happiness by screaming into your pillow

Chigiri Hyoma

• Okay, you two would go on a study date! He feels like that's the best option, it's lowkey and he wouldn't feel as stressed to actually ask you out

• But just because the date seems casual, it doesn't mean he didn't carefully chose the location you two would go to. He checked all the local cafés and what food and drinks they serve

• He would choose the most beautiful café, a beautiful slow melody is bouncing around the room. The whole café was decorated with wood and plants, making it look like a whimsical forest

• You two ordered tea and got two Strawberry Shortcakes, Chigiri and you opened your books, you guys talked a bit about the harder subjects you have to get to eventually

• But as the conversation started to flow, you two kinda forgot about the pile of books you had on the table

• You talked about your favorite writers, and other hobbies you share, the tea was great and so was the Shortcake

• After a long talk, it was time to part your ways. Chigiri walked you home, and you guys just couldn't stop talking about everything and anything

• You didn't want to go and neither did he, so he immediately asked you out on a another date, and of course you were so excited

• When he left he just couldn't stop thinking about you, so he called you and the two of you talked for so long.

• Both of you couldn't wait to see each other again

Kunigami Rensuke

• The two of you would go to an amusement park! Eating delicious, colourful cotton candy as you guys talked about all the ride you want to go on

• Kunigami would win so many games, you would have so many stuffed animals by the end of it

• Like his hands were full and you were carrying two stuffed bears each settled into your hands

• You guys would ride the fastest, highest roller coasters. But if you are afraid of heights, that's okay too. There is a lot of other fun rides and games you can try

• You would go on the teacups and you would ride a carousel giggling like little children throughout all of it

• Kunigami suggested that you should visit the Haunted mansion, everything was fine at first, but then a second jump scare happened and then out of reflex Kunigami hit the poor worker in the head

• When the sun started to fall asleep and the sky splashed with orange gradients. The two of you went to a farriers wheel

• Walking home still laughing about the aftermath of the punch Kunigami accidentally landed and your hands full with the stuffed prizes, he asked you out on a next date

Isagi Yoichi

• Isagi took you out on a picnic! At first he was kinda hesitant to ask you out. He can get really insecure at times and you are just so perfect he thought you were way out of his league

• When you said yes, he was the happiest he ever felt it's the same feeling he gets when he scores a goal

• In an attempt to surprise Isagi, you decided to make some sandwiches

• Isagi had the same idea tho, so when you two met up, both of you were holding baskets full of food earning an angelic laugh from Isagi

• The field looked beautiful, it was filled with flowers and some kids were running around. The two of you sat on a blanket right under a blossoming cherry tree

• Munching on some sandwiches, you talked about anything and everything

• After you stuffed your faces with food, Isagi suggested that you two play football. And you eagerly agreed

• Sure, maybe you aren't the best football player. But seeing the spark that is dancing in his eyes is totally worth running around trying to kick a ball

• To your surprise, you played football for hours laughing and playfully bickering

• And everything was fine until the rain began to fall. Quickly starting to pack your things up, Isagi looked for the shelter

• The two of you ran to safety, never dropping your smiles, your hair and clothes totally wet by now

• Your house was closer so that's where you went. You begged Isagi to stay until the rain stopped. And he oh was he embarrassed, he's never been in a girl's room and now here he is. Changing into some clothes you had laying around while you were making tea for the both of you

• After some time passed, Isagi finally got comfortable and you laughed the whole situation off

• When the rain stopped, it was time for him to go even though you didn't want him to

• He thanked you for the stuff you lent him. Promising to return them on the next date

#blue lock x reader #blue lock #blue lock headcanons #blue lock sae #sae itoshi #blue lock rin #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x reader #blue lock nagi #nagi seishirou #nagi x reader #reo mikage #blue lock reo #reo x reader #chigiri x reader #blue lock chigiri #hyoma chigiri #kunigami x reader #blue lock kunigami #rensuke kunigami #blue lock isagi #yoichi isagi #isagi x reader

[katelyn--renee]

Sweet Cherry Pie

Title: Sweet Cherry Pie

Fandom: Supernatural

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer (Mentioned), Reader 

Pairing: Dean Winchester x pregnant!Reader

Words: ±1860

Description: You and Dean have only known each other for a short time, six months to be exact, but a lot can happen from then to now - especially when you’re expecting, twins no less. Just how close have you gotten? Dean is eager to tell you.

Square Filled: Fluff @anyfandomgoesbingo​

Warnings: Fluff and lots of it, pregnancy (with twins)… that’s it… Did I mention fluff?

Author’s Note: I had no beta for this and this is honestly my first fic - I’ve done a lot of RolePlaying over the years, though, and this fic was actually inspired by my most recent RP. 

I hope you enjoy, it’s short and sweet and any/all mistakes are my own. Please feel free to leave feedback and give me any tips for future fics. Or feel free to give me some ideas for another fic and I’ll see what I can do. :) 

Enjoy!

Check out @talesmaniac89​ for more awesome page dividers!! 

Disclaimer: I do not own any photos or gifs, all rights go to original creators/owners.

BONUS: Here is a crackship I made that helped inspire this fic.

Interested in more of my work, check out the link below.

Masterlist

        The Impala came to a stop in the old scrap yard and found its usual spot near the weathered green Chevelle, the infamous rumble of Baby’s engine announcing their arrival. Dean glanced through the open window as his green eyes scanned over the old, yet familiar, home in South Dakota. Bobby’s home. The place had become like a second home to the Winchester’s over the years, (the first being the Impala) Bobby almost like a second father and so any time they were near, they’d make a point to swing by, even if the visit was only brief. It was always good to see the old grouch.

    He exhaled a heavy sigh through his nose, reminiscing a moment as the old place brought up so many memories; both good and bad - but mostly good. A particularly fond memory came to mind and he thought about when he and Sammy were younger, picturing his kid brother running around while he taught him how to properly throw an old football they’d found lying around in the field.The memory made his lips twitch, a smile threatening to form. 

    The picture shifted and changed as he tried to imagine what the future might hold for him and the woman who had captured his heart and carried his children - (Y/N). He could practically see their little faces, a perfect mixture of himself and the woman he loved; Her (Y/E/C) eyes and his freckled nose, two wonderful little clones, reenacting the cherished memory he shared with Sam. 

     Their identical grins were wide and bright, beautiful in so many ways. Children had never been a part of his plan before, never really given it much thought before six months ago. Hell, he never even considered it a possibility in their line of work. Who knew that a shared bottle of whiskey and a one heated night in the back of the Impala would change his mind. Sure, he’d been careless and stupid, but did he regret it? Not one bit, because it led him to (Y/N).

    The smile won and formed on his lips with the thoughts, growing in size until it crinkled the edges of his green eyes. He shifted his gaze back to the kitchen, finding her very pregnant silhouette through the window. He tracked her through the windows, watching as she moved from one side of the kitchen to the other and kept herself busy, more than likely filling Bobby’s house with her latest inspiration. It made his heart swell with joy. 

    He knew she’d be safe here with Bobby and after several long hours of debate, she’d finally agreed to stay behind from now on - although swore she wouldn’t make it easy on him and even threw in her best (and cutest) pout. It was in the best interest for everyone involved and he knew that she knew that, too, but also knew that hunting was a big part of who she was; (Y/N) grew up in the life, just like he and Sammy had and so he understood just how difficult it was for her to sit on the sidelines. 

    But there was just too much at risk and Dean would never be able to forgive himself if anything were to ever happen to (Y/N) or those precious babies, especially if it could have been prevented. 

  Sam climbed out of the vehicle first, the creak of the closing door breaking Dean from his thoughts. He removed the key from the ignition and followed Sam’s lead, sliding out from behind the wheel and climbing the old staircase. The wood groaned and creaked under their added weight. 

   They were just returning from a hunt and so, naturally, they were a bit worse for wear; their jeans and henleys were spotted with dirt and grime, their boots caked with mud, their skin scraped and bruised in various places, but it wasn’t anything they couldn’t walk away from and so Dean considered that to be a win. 

    As Sam pulled open the screen door, Dean’s eager grin nearly split his face in two. His stomach was just as eager as it audibly growled, the scent of freshly baked cherry pie wafting out from the open door, filling his nose and making his mouth water. Sam greeted (Y/N) in passing and flashed her that signature boyish-grin, dimples and all, as he made his way through the kitchen and into the study, joining Bobby so that he could update him on the case they had been working. She smiled back with a “Hey, Sammy,”, waving awkwardly over her shoulder with the oven mitt still covering her hands, before turning back to her task, removing the pie from the oven. 

    Dean stepped in behind his brother, but unlike Sam, he remained in the kitchen. He leaned casually against the fridge, crossing his arms and ankles while he watched her with adoring green eyes. The light was hitting her perfectly, illuminating her body like a halo. It was breathtaking. Dean was positive that it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and it wasn’t just (Y/N)’s physical beauty that drew him in.

    It was the way she’d sing out of tune to his favorite songs and didn’t care who was listening; it was her love of baking and knowledge of classic rock and vintage cars that frequently surprised him; it was her heart of gold, her fierce independence and stubborn attitude; it was the way she could hold her own in a fight against something or someone twice her size (he was certain that she could still kick his ass, even if she were six months pregnant); it was her fiery passion and witty humor that would quite often put him to shame; but most importantly, it was that little round belly behind her sunflower apron that made her the most beautiful thing in the world. 

    (Y/N) were carrying his children and that was a gift all in its own, something that he never dreamed of having. But there she stood, giving him the most precious gift he never knew he wanted. Or needed. And now, he knew he could never live without her or those two tiny humans.

    He pushed himself away from his spot against the fridge and closed the distance between the pair of you with three long strides, his heavy boots making the floor creak beneath him. His strong arms wrapping around her waist and a smile formed on her lips with the contact. His large hands caressed the sides of her belly, sliding around to the front where his fingers spread out over the round surface. He pulled (Y/N) near, nuzzling himself against her affectionately. 

    A delighted hum left her lips as he gently kissed the exposed skin of her neck, paying special attention to his favorite freckles lining her shoulder. She tipped her head to the side, giving him more space to show his affection. She reached up to touch his face in greeting, his stubble rough against the palm of her hand. A smile bloomed over her face as she leaned into his touch, taking advantage of his firm chest.

    “Hey good lookin’,” He greeted between each tortuous kiss. The tip of his nose brushed over her skin, featherlight as he worked his way across her shoulder and back toward her neck. His lips left a wet trail as he went, only stopping at the soft patch just below her ear. (Y/N) shivered against him, the sensation leaving goosebumps over her body and making her crave more of his attention. She turned in his arms then and her hands found his broad shoulders, the tips of her fingers brushing along the back of his neck. 

    His eyes found hers, dipping into her soul and seizing her heart. It took her a moment to remember how to breathe or speak. “Hey yourself, Winchester,” She replied once she’d found her voice, her breath hot and sweet against his face, her mouth only inches from his. She leaned forward, standing on the tips of her toes to meet his lips, her hands cupping the back of his head to deepen the connection. Her lips molded together with his, hot and greedy after the extended time apart. His firm hands slid down to her hips during the exchange, steadying her and holding her against him. She broke away with reluctance, her eyes fluttering open. 

    A smirk played on his lips and tugged the corner up, his jade eyes full of mischief. “I was talking to the pie, Sweetheart, but I guess you’re not so bad yours-” She gasped playfully and smacked him in the chest, feigning offence and he laughed, the sound coming deep from inside of his chest. She tried to keep a serious face, but his laughter and dazzling smile forced one of her own. His happiness was contagious. She shook her head and crossed her arms, refusing to give in. She even added her most convincing pout, the one that Dean found so cute, and refused to look him in the eye.

    He sighed and his expression softened as he reached up to pinch her chin between his thumb and fingers,tenderly tilting her head so that she’d meet his adoring gaze. He was the one who leaned in this time and he kissed her sweetly, silently apologizing with his lips. She forgave him instantly and melted into his touch - both loving and hating the way he so easily affected her. He pressed his forehead against hers and just held her there against him, staring into her (Y/E/C) eyes. 

    “(Y/N) I…” He started to say but he cut himself short, his voice a little shaky with nerves. She watched him for a moment, curious, before she gave him a smile of encouragement, wanting to hear what he was thinking. “I love you, you know.” He admitted after several minutes, breaking the silence and surprising her. 

    A smile broke across her face and tears welled in her eyes, her emotions a little extra sensitive thanks to the two little Winchester’s growing inside of her. “ I love you, too.” She confessed happily, her voice shaky but her heart full of a love she’d never experienced before. “And I swear to God if you say you’re talking about that damn pie again…” She teased, quickly brushing away the happy tears before they could fall completely. 

   “…well….” Dean made a face as if he were considering this, teasing her, but then quickly flashed her another prized winning smile to assure her that he’d meant what’d he said. He dipped his head again, planting a quick kiss against her lips before dropping himself lower, crouching down until he was eye level with her round belly. Bracing a hand on either side, he closed his eyes and pressed his lips against the firm surface twice, one for each baby Winchester nestled inside. 

“And daddy loves you.” He muttered, his voice low and meant for only them. She smiled softly during the exchange, her eyes welling again as she affectionately combed her fingers through his hair, her heart completely full and happy.

Thank you for reading!! Remember, your feedback gives me liiiife!

Taglist!

Supernatural

@akshi8278​

#dean winchester #dean #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #pregnant #pregnancy #pregnant!reader #supernatural #spn #i love you #reader insert #spnfandom #fanfic #fan fiction #fic #fluff #fluffy #lots of fluff #its so fluffy #sweet cherry pie #sweet #cherry #pie #katelynw93

[farishtafyre]

The Perks of Not Being a Wallflower

okay so finished 1x03 of Superman and Lois and got some thoughts if anyone’s curious/bored/procrastinating on studying like me. There are probably some spoilers for the episode so please skip through if you don’t want to spoil the episode. I ramble a lot so sorry in advance lol. 

Clark

The end scene with him and Jordan was adorkable with the water cooler.

I remember the Smallville plot of Clark wanting to play football and this felt like a nice subversion to that overall plot. I think Clark’s dad had a valid reason but it’s nice (and a great nod to the motif of parenthood) to see Clark take his dad’s perspective while adding in his own perspective.

I have to say that I am loving the relationship between Clark & Lois. The scene on the porch where he’s all like “I’ll support whatever you do” is such a great subversion to the common trope in superhero shows where the male superhero has to constantly “protect” the female protagonist. 

It was also nice to have a “Dad!Clark” episode. While I’m super interested in the Warsuit Luthor plot--this was a nice episode to expand on other characters. 

I also loved Clark’s realistic reaction to Jordan’s outburst about constantly making mistakes. It shows how vulnerable (and human) Clark is while also giving him a chance to grow. And again--shows how strong Lois & Clark are as a couple. 

Lois

Undoubtedly my favorite character on the show. I still am a bit worried that she’ll get sidelined as the “human” character on the show (see my thoughts on Jonathan) but I think she has the best plot so far. I love her relationship with Chrissy and the friendship that’s growing between them. We can see how Lois inspires Chrissy and I would love to see how Chrissy helps Lois grow in some way. 

One thing I would love to see more of is Lois having scenes with the twins. I liked her scene with Jonathan in the last episode where she thanks him for being such a good brother. I also liked how she mediated the argument scene in this episode between Jordan and Clark. 

I loved that Lois in Smallville could practice some self-defense. We saw a glimpse of that with her battle against that superpowered guy. I think what I love about Lois the most is her own “superpower” of journalism: she can dig out the truth better than anyone and she’s fearless, brave, and not afraid to call for support when she needs it. 

Jordan

I’m really curious to see how his plot unfolds. The football thing was a bit of a surprise and I think the show could have done a better job at showing how football was helping Jordan. 

One thing (and maybe I’m being nitpicky) but I wonder how the show reconciles his social anxiety with his football career. Not saying that the two are complete opposites but from my experience, people with social anxiety hate having attention on themselves. Will we see this affect Jordan in a game? 

I do like his relationship with Sarah but I also want to see them grow beyond “hey we both face mental health challenges.” Maybe a flashback to the summer where they met would be nice?

I am a bit unsure how to feel about how the antagonistic football bullies warm up to Jordan by him “asserting” himself on the field. On one end, teenagers are fickle like that lol but I was expecting it to backfire and the hostility to grow (especially with Sarah dumping Sean). 

Jonathan

I feel like there’s a lot of potential with Jonathan and I’m curious. Is he going to develop powers? Will he be the “human” side to his brother like Lois to Clark? I know this might be a stretch, but what if he moves on from football and becomes interested in solving mysteries like his mom? I think the show has dropped some clues that Jonathan and Lois are a bit similar (example: the scene where Lois thanks Jonathan for being a good brother and Jonathan reminds her that they both gave up their life for Clark/Jordan). 

One thing I want to see more but am wary about: how is Jonathan gonna reconcile the fact that he’s used to out-shining his brother? I love how familial the two are but I get so tired of the “brother sabotages brother” plot. I was very impressed with how his character didn’t pull the typical “petty” card when he saw Malcom’s text on Jordan’s phone. I think previous shows like Teen Wolf have somewhat balanced a dynamic with the human & superhero dyad (Stiles & Scott). 

I think someone posted this somewhere else but I do want to see more of Jonathan’s struggles. Like...if I was the first starting line in my school and had a girlfriend and was popular and I had to move away because my family has some secrets--there would be hella resentment (esp. if I was 14 lol).

Lana

So I liked Lana a lot in Smallville (even though I understand some of the vitriol directed toward her character). I could see her character going in two different paths. 

The path I would love to see is Lana continuing to grow and be a better mother. We saw in Smallville how Lana stepped away from popularity to be a better friend/journalist/etc. I dunno if I want Lana to discover the Kent family secret, but it’s not out of the question. I loved her scene with Sarah about both of them wearing that mask and “smiling” but “hiding their heart.” 

I would hate to see some type of love triangle between Clark, Lana, and Lois. They’re freaking adults with kids. Even if there are old feelings, Clark clearly loves Lois and it would be such a disservice to have Clark and Lana have some type of emotional affair. 

If anything, I would love for Lana to join forces with Chrissy and Lois. IIRC, Lana was involved in journalism in Smallville. We also saw Chrissy say that Smallville doesn’t have the journalist team to investigate these stories. With the theme of the show seeming to touch on “stepping out of your comfort zone and seizing the life you want” I think it would be cool to see Lana leave the corrupt bank and help save Smallville. In a way, I almost see her as the up-and-coming Martha Kent: she hosts a barbecue for the town, works for the bank that seemed to have helped people (which she truly believed), and coaches the cheer squad. She could evolve into the “heart” of Smallville role. 

Sarah

Sarah is interesting. I always get hesitant with teenage girl depictions of mental health issues. Sarah is so far doing an excellent job at showing a pretty real take of teenage issues. Feeling “trapped” in her life and having trouble with how her family is--that’s pretty real. I was skeptical with her being the “mean jock”’s girlfriend but hopefully the break-up will let Sarah delve into her own character. 

I think Sarah can also fit into the dynamics of the characters with her knowledge of Smallville, interest in exploring the unknown (see: exploring the barn in the pilot, being interested in the reclusive Jordan, life without cheerleading, etc). 

I’m begging with every fiber of my being that a love triangle does not appear between Sarah, Jordan, and Jonathan. It would be so dirty to all 3 of their characters.  

I am curious to see how her plot unfolds: will she discover the Kent family secret? She’s in a position like Jonathan where I think they have a lot of potential to add to the cast but I’m just afraid they might do a disservice to them. 

Oh, and one final question: are Lana (and by extension, Sarah) coded to be WOC? Emmanuelle Chiriqui (Lana) is the daughter of Moroccan Jewish parents (according to Wikipedia). Inde Navarrette (Sarah) is of “Mexican and Australian descent” (according to a site called Cranberry Nights). They are white-passing, it seems, so I’m not sure. If so--I would love to see maybe a touch on that issue. There was this book called Superman: Dawnbreaker by Matt de la Peña and it touched on the topic of illegal immigration and racism in Smallville. But then again, after hearing about the Nadria Tucker news--I might have to remain hesitant and wary. 

#superman and lois #clark kent #lois lane #jordan kent #jonathan kent #sarah cushing #lana lang #mah thots #dctv #tyler hoechlin #bitsie tulloch #jordan elsass #alex garfin #inde navarrette #emmanuelle chriqui

[hale-13]

Slipping Through the Cracks

By Hale13

For the Summer of Whump Day 5 - Broken

Just when his life was finally leveling out Parker luck struck again. Peter has had four opportunities with parents and has lost all of them. The way he sees it, this is the least of what he deserves.

Post-Homecoming - Tony didn’t meet with Peter immediately to offer him a place on the Avengers.

Words: 3856, Chapters: 1/1 (Complete), Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)

Rating: Gen-Teen

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Happy Hogan, Ned Leeds

TW: Depression, Dissociation, a single line of Suicidal Ideation, Referenced Child Abuse

Read on AO3 or below the line break.

Peter was silent as he exited Midtown with Ned keeping a quiet pace with him. Seven months ago they would be just as excited as their classmates for the weekend, for the plans that they surely would have made to build Legos or marathon movies or even to just study together. Ned would have been ecstatic to set up in Peter’s bedroom as his ‘guy in the chair’ while Peter did a quick patrol or two. If they were at Peter’s instead of Ned’s, May would attempt some new dish that would, inevitably, be awful and they would order pizza from their favorite place for dinner.

Now Peter never saw any of his limited friend group outside of school. He didn’t build Legos or watch movies or eat take-out pizza and he certainly wasn’t Spider-Man anymore – he had given that up after the Homecoming disaster when he had destroyed Mr. Stark’s plane.

It had been just over six months since he had found May dead in their kitchen and Peter didn’t really do anything at all anymore.

The ER doctors told Peter that she had an undiagnosed aneurysm that had finally burst – there was no way for anyone to know. She went quickly. She felt no pain. There was nothing that Peter could have done even if he was there when it happened.

The reassurances meant nothing really – Peter was numb. May was his last living family member, he had no one else and nowhere to turn. He can vaguely remember telling the social worker that was with him when they told him the news about May that he was alone now. He can remember being taken forcibly from the hospital before he was ready to go, wanting to kick and scream and drag his heels but too shocked to do so. And then everything was a blur.

Somewhere in his mind he knew that he had been allowed to pack up everything important from their apartment to go into storage until he was eighteen besides the bag of essentials he had for himself. He knew that everything else was donated or sold to pay off their remaining debt and the medical bills he had incurred by calling for help when he found May on the kitchen floor. He knew that the social worker told him that, even after selling everything, they couldn’t afford a funeral. He has a business card in his wallet with the number of the crematorium that was holding May’s ashes until he was old enough to retrieve them and, hopefully, give her a proper burial in their family plot next to Ben.

He spent the two weeks after in a group home, mute and dissociating with seven other boys in similar situations. He didn’t go to school, but he remembers the constant stream of unanswered texts and calls from Ned and MJ before his phone plan was discontinued then his phone became a dead relic in his bag. There were a lot of discussions about school that Peter didn’t take part in but, thanks to his full scholarship, he was able to continue at Midtown at least until the end of the year.

And then he was placed with his foster parents.

The Fishers seemed to be pleasant people when Peter first met them; they didn’t force him to speak, they had extensive fostering experience with teenagers and were willing to pay for his subway pass so he could get to and from his school even though there was a decent public school in walking distance. It didn’t take long, however, for their true colors to show.

Now, though, Peter knew the rules. He was always home by his curfew of four on school days and he never went out on the weekends. His grades were perfect. He kept his undecorated room spotless. He cooked supper every evening and breakfast and dinner on the weekends. He kept the house presentable. He stayed out of the Fishers way. Mostly he drifted. His days slid together to the point he had difficultly remembering entire weeks passing him by but it was fine.

He was fine.

“I’ll see you Monday,” Ned muttered as he split off to get in his mom’s car, not acknowledging the pathetic little wave Peter offered in return. A coiling feeling settled in his gut and Perter felt guilt rise up to swirl in his throat. Ned was his best friend and he was treating him like shit. With Peter basically unresponsive, bullies had taken to picking on Ned instead… well except for Flash. Flash had been the only one to back off and stand up for both of them – it helped but didn’t fix everything.

“Better if he leaves you now,” a little voice in his head whispered. “It’s better to be alone.” And maybe at one point he would have fought against that mindset but now he couldn’t help but agree. Peter destroyed everything he touched and everyone around him was doomed for misery. Better for Ned to get out while he could.

Lethargically, Peter began across the empty football field toward the subway entrance – his trip home was always a little tight and he couldn’t afford to miss this train.

“Peter!” A harried voice shouted as his shoulder was grabbed and he was roughly turned around to face a red-faced and irritated Happy Hogan. Peter’s mind blanked for a moment in total shock at seeing the man again after so long. “Didn’t you hear me calling for you?”

“Sorry Mr. Hogan,” Peter mumbled, not making eye contact. He felt the phantom sting from the slap he had gotten for that when he first moved into foster care burning his bare cheek.

“The Boss has been calling you, he wants to chat. You screening our calls now?” Happy asked, accusatory as his eyes raked down Peter’s form. Peter felt a shiver crawl up his spine and kept his sight locked on Happy’s chin, trying to remain as relaxed as possible. It was important to not draw any unwanted attention to himself.

“No sir,” he answered, voice a little rough and quiet with disuse. “I don’t have a phone anymore.” Happy huffed and narrowed his eyes at Peter before steering him to the expensive Audi parked in front of the school.

“No matter, he wants to talk to you in person anyway. Hop in and I’ll take you to the Tower.” Peter gulped and fought the urge to dig his heels in – it wouldn’t be polite.

“I have a curfew of four,” he protested weakly as Happy pulled open the door for him and motioned for him to climb in. Peter hesitated but relented when Happy gave him a little shrug.

“I’m sure May will understand and Tony can always give her a call to clear anything up.” And with that Peter was gone. No one had said her name since she died and the thought… the very implication that he could still be living with his aunt, happy and carefree, was insane. His mind floated away and he felt like he was watching himself as a specter. He saw his body relax but his eyes were distant, cloudy. Happy, for the first time that Peter could remember, didn’t raise the partition between the front and rear seats and, instead, watched Peter in the rear view mirror.

The drive to the Tower took over thirty minutes with traffic and Peter would be panicking about how late he was going to be if he had any capacity to feel at all. Instead, he let his mind wander as the skyscrapers of Manhattan blurred into a grey mosaic outside the window, fat raindrops sporadically hitting the window as a drizzle started. “We’re here,” Happy told him as he parked the car in the underground garage that was reserved for Mr. Stark and other high level staff of the Tower. Peter popped his door open and followed the man to the private elevator that he assumed would take them to Mr. Stark’s office.

“Hello Happy. Hello Peter,” the disembodied voice of Mr. Stark’s AI, FRIDAY, said as the doors closed and the elevator began to move. “Boss is awaiting your arrival in his workshop.”

“Thanks FRIDAY,” Happy said, texting intently on his phone. Peter just remained silent as the elevator began to slow before stopping completely, the doors trundling open soundlessly. Happy nudged Peter out but remained inside the car as the doors closed, leaving Peter alone in the sleek room.

Tony was seated in front of a large hologram of his armor, code scrolling past on his monitor as he made adjustments. “Mr. Parker,” he said as Peter edged closer to him, not looking up from his work. “You’re a hard man to get in contact with.”

Though Tony sounded more forthright than angry, Peter still had to fight the cringe in his shoulders as he came to a stop about ten feet away from the work bench – out of reach and with enough time to prepare if the man were to make any sudden moves. “Sorry,” he murmured, keeping his eyes low and doing his best to keep his shoulders from curling in – the last thing he needed to do was show any weakness.

“No need for apologies,” Tony said, light, as he fiddled with a holo mechanism in the right repulser. “Just a statement of fact. According to the news Spider-Man has also been just as difficult to find.”

Peter just hummed in response, choosing not to comment on his previous alter-ego. He didn’t much feel like a hero these days.

“A man of few words,” Tony commented, shutting down the programs in front of him and turning to face Peter fully. “Are you the same kid who was talking my ear off in Germany a year ago?”

“Yes sir,” Peter said, keeping his eyes focused on Tony’s chin. He could feel his mind slipping as his heart rate sped up and he struggled to keep present – it was getting harder and harder to stay in the moment the more he allowed himself to get lost in his head. He occasionally dreamed that one day it might be permanent; one of the few good dreams he had.

“Sir?” Tony parroted, his eyebrows raising and a flash of guilt washing over his features quickly before disappearing. “Look kid, I think I owe you an apology. Actually, I know I owe you an apology. I didn’t communicate with you about the whole alien weapons take-down thing. I underestimated you and treated you like a side-kick and ignored you and then I left you alone and without any protection and you saved my bacon anyway.”

“I deserved it,” Peter said matter-of-factly. “I was in over my head and I disobeyed. The punishment fit the crime.”

“No it didn’t,” Tony told him bluntly but firmly, looking surprised but resolute. “Maybe we both share some fault in the situation but I’m the adult and the one with experience and I didn’t do anything to teach you or help you and for that I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Peter assured him, allowing himself to tap his index finger against his thigh once to let out his stress. Mr. Fisher didn’t like his constant fidgeting and Peter knew that it was pretty annoying so he had done his best to learn how to stand as still as possible to not incur any extra punishments – the index finger tap he was able to normally get away with.

Mr. Stark’s eyes were narrowed as he surveyed Peter. “I wanted to offer you a real spot as my intern. You could spend a few days a week in the shop working on tech and I made you a new and improved suit for the other part of your ‘internship’. I promise that you’ll always have the support you need to be New York’s Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. You’re the future of the Avengers, kid, its pretty clear to me now. Your spot on the team is there whenever you want to take it.”

For the briefest of moments, Peter was overwhelmed with excitement and incredulity. Ever since Tony had announced he was Iron Man to the world, Peter had wanted nothing more than to be a superhero as well, to be an Avenger. If Tony had offered him a spot on the team after Germany, Peter would have taken it in an instant. Now…

“Thank you Mr. Stark,” Peter said, voice still a little broken and hoarse from how little he spoke these days. “But I can’t.”

“Oh you don’t have to join now,” the man assured, misunderstanding. “You’ll need some training first but Rhodey and Vision are always down to join us at the compound for some group work. You have a lot of potential.”

“Thanks but that’s not what I meant,” Peter clarified. “I have to decline all of it but I appreciate the offer.”

“Oh,” Tony looked a little crestfallen, a dark expression of acceptance on his defined features. “I understand. Broken trust and all that. Sure.”

“It’s not that,” Peter reassured quickly. “I don’t hold anything against you – I was the one who messed up. It’s just I have a four o’clock curfew every day so I can’t do the internship.”

“That’s easily remedied!” Mr. Stark said, his eyes lifting with a smile and looking relieved. “I’ll just give Aunt Hottie a call and work things out and we’ll have you in the lab and out swinging through the streets in no time!”

Peter’s ears fuzzed out again, a sharp high-pitched note cutting off Tony’s excited words as a feeling of immense emotion flooded through Peter before he could tamp it down. His breathing felt a little ragged in his chest and he squeezed his eyes shut for just a moment to gather himself. “My aunt is dead,” Peter gritted out, interrupting Tony and rendering him speechless. “She died six months ago. My foster… the people fostering me are a little more strict.”

“Oh,” Tony said, face blank and an awkward silence filling the space. Peter gripped his worn down backpack straps and backed toward the elevator.

“Thanks for the offer,” Peter said earnestly. “It really is an honor I just…” he trailed off. “Thanks. For everything.”

And with that, he entered the elevator and pushed the button for the lobby, the doors shutting on Tony’s pitying expression before the man could say anything much to Peter’s relief. The metro card the Fishers had gotten him only had a set amount of money on it every month so Peter would be hoofing it back to their house from the Tower. His cracked watch face told him that it was already close to four-thirty and his stomach bubbled with anxiety. At this rate he wouldn’t be back in time to have dinner on the table at five-thirty.

Resigned to his punishments, Peter left the building through the shining lobby and pointed himself toward Queens, moving as fast as he could.

——————-

“You’re late,” Mr. Fishers’s tone was short and monotonous from where he was seated on the couch. The house was otherwise quiet which meant Mrs. Fisher was out that evening.

“I’m sorry sir,” Peter whispered looking at the floor and making no excuses. He had learned the hard way that trying to justify his poor behavior only made things worse for him in the long run.

“Go to your room,” Mr. Fisher told him making Peter cringe. “I’ll join you in a moment.”

Later, when Peter was lying on the bed with silent tears still leaking from his eyes and his back and ribs stinging in pain, he thought about Mr. Stark’s offer with selfish desire. In another universe, in another life, he would have been elated but now he only felt desolation - life always did like to dangle things in front of him he couldn’t have.

Setting his alarm for five-thirty so he wouldn’t oversleep, Peter let his consciousness slip away into the ether, mind going blissfully empty and blank.

——————-

Monday came both faster and slower than Peter wanted. His body still ached from his well-deserved punishment and he was exhausted from the extra chores and minimal food he had been offered as a result of his actions. School passed in a lonely blur for him as he drifted from class to class, hiding away in the deserted music room during lunch to avoid Ned and MJ. They didn’t ask as many questions anymore but Peter didn’t want to put himself in a situation where he would have to lie to his friends again.

When the final bell of the day rang, Peter chose to not stop by his locker where he may be ambushed and, instead, left the school, headed directly for the subway. He had nearly made it when a body physically blocked him from the stairs.

“Howdy Pete,” Mr. Stark said, peering over his glasses to look at Peter and Peter did his best to school his expression into indifference. He couldn’t be late again. He couldn’t take another punishment, he was just so tired all he wanted to do was sleep. Maybe forever. “Where are you headed?”

“Back to my fosters,” Peter told him, trying to skirt around. “I have a four o’clock curfew.”

“I remember you saying something about that,” Mr. Stark agreed with a nod. “Tell you what – let me give you a ride home. You’ll get home well before your curfew and I can talk to your foster parents about the internship. Who can say no to Tony Stark right?”

“NO!” Peter said loudly before smacking a palm over his mouth. He could feel the blood draining from his face as his body tensed, preparing for the correction he knew was coming. Mr. Stark’s brow was furrowed now and his eyes behind his blue glasses had a twinkle of understanding in them.

“Peter,” he began, reaching a hand out with the intention of lying his hand on Peter’s shoulder but he never got that far. Seeing the hand coming towards him and already being on high alert after his exclamation, Peter violently flinched away, only barely able to catch himself from falling over due to his enhanced reflexes, and squeezed his eyes shut tight. “Oh Peter,” Tony said, a desolate understanding in his voice.

Peter cracked his eyes open to see Mr. Stark with both hands raised in the universal ‘backing off’ signal, a soft look on his face. “Sorry sir,” Peter croaked out. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. It’s fine.”

“Do you have something you need to tell me kiddo?” Tony’s voice was soft and gentle and Peter felt his eyes well up with tears he hastily blinked away as he shook his head quickly. “It’s okay buddy. You can tell me.”

“I’m fine. I’m okay. It’s fine.” Tony looked even more crestfallen at Peter’s answer and tapped the side of his glasses to activate FRIDAY.

“Can you I’ve me a scan FRI?” He asked and Peter flinched again knowing there was no way to hide the broken and healing bones and skin that he had been doing his best to conceal. Tony’s face was tight as he stared at Peter and Peter felt all of the blood left in his face drain away.

“I deserved it,” Peter told him desperately. “I disobeyed, it was my fault.” Mr. Stark just looked even more beaten at his words and Peter felt his breathing picking up.

“It’s not,” Tony said, voice still unbelievably soft but firm. “It’s not your fault and you didn’t deserve it. You’re a great kid Pete.” Peter shook his head no and couldn’t stop a couple tears from leaking out before furiously wiping them away. “I promise that it wasn’t your fault Underoos. Will you let me help you?”

“You can’t,” Peter said, feeling hollow. “Everyone… everyone close to me dies. I’m cursed and I can’t do that to you too Mr. Stark.”

“Can I hug you?” Tony asked suddenly, arms twitching with need. After a seconds hesitation, Peter nodded and was hastily folded into the man’s arms; one arm tight around his shoulders and the other snaking up into his hair to pull through the too long strands carefully. Peter felt more tears leak out and, suddenly, he couldn’t hold it in any longer, throwing his own arms around Tony to return the hug and letting out a gut-wrenching sob into the man’s shoulder. Tony just shushed him and let him take as much comfort as he could. “You’re not cursed and none of this is your fault. I get the feeling no one has told you that yet and you need to hear it.”

Peter sobbed loudly again, curling in tighter. He had always thrived on positive affirmation and had grown up in a family where hugs and shoulder pats and forehead kisses were the norm. To go so long without… he had forgotten how nice it was to just be held and cared for. “Thank you,” Peter said, his voice clogged with emotion. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Tony said firmly. “Anyone decent would do the same thing and it’s the least of what you deserve.”

Peter squeezed him one more time and took a deep breath before pulling away. “Thank you,” he reiterated, fighting to make eye contact so he could show just how sincere he was. “But I need to get back before four and I already missed my train. I can’t be late.” Tony, who still had one hand resting on Peter’s shoulder, gripped him tightly to prevent him from escaping up the stairs to the train.

“You aren’t going back,” he said firmly, ducking his head and forcing Peter to make eye contact. “You’re coming with me back to the Tower where I’m going to call CPS and my lawyers. You’re never going back there again.”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” Peter insisted. “It’s really not that bad if I’m home on time and do my chores and stay in my room. And its only two more years until I’m eighteen and then I can get a job and an apartment.”

“Pete,” Tony said, eyes shining as he wrapped an arm around Peter’s shoulders and started leading him away from the subway and toward the Audi that was parked in the pickup lane; Peter could see the outline of Happy’s silhouette in the driver’s seat. “You deserve better. You deserve somewhere safe and you deserve to have someone care about you. I know you don’t believe it now and that’s okay – I’m just going to keep telling you until you do.”

Peter sniffed back another onslaught of tears and allowed himself to be pulled away. “Thank you Mr. Stark,” he said, voice clogged with emotion.

“It’s Tony kiddo,” the man told him with another squeeze that warmed Peter to the core. “And you don’t need to thank me for this okay?”

“Okay,” Peter agreed, fully aware and present and wanting to be for the first time in a long time. Things were never going to be the same, but maybe, just maybe, they would get better.

#summer of whump 2021 #Prompt: Broken #spider man #irondad #summerofwhump #summerofwhump5

[johannas-motivational-insults]

Jo’s Top 10 of 2020

I see lots of artists doing that thing where they post a piece from each month of the year... unfortunately my content creation isn’t necessarily consistent and it’s hard to track what month individual fic chapters were posted in, but I figured I’d do something similar and post my Top 10 pieces of content I created in 2020, what they’re about and why I love them. I actually did get a fair amount done this year thanks to the lockdown, but I’ve narrowed it down to these ten that I’d like to reflect on. (To be fair, I’m probably forgetting something huge. Feel free to leave comments if you think I passed over something important lol.)

10. Friendship in the Horde (meta): This is something I’d wanted to write for a while but finally got around to finishing in February. It’s basically a sociology paper lmao, an analysis of the social hierarchies and systems of the Horde. It was also a convenient excuse for me to gush about Catralonnie, an underrated (friend)ship. But honestly this was an important piece for me because I have always identified with the Horde characters way more than any of the rebels (other than Adora, who grew up in the Horde) and part of why is how they are in an unsafe environment and end up forming relationships that are helpful for survival but hinder them psychologically. And I think to understand the Horde characters and really evaluate their motives and choices you need to understand this first.

9. The Sting in My Eyes: On the surface this is just a run of the mill hurt/comfort oneshot, but it was a really important post-canon processing fic for me. I had a lot of feelings about Catra’s relationships with Shadow Weaver and Melog in season 5, particularly about how Catra must have felt really conflicted after Shadow Weaver told her what she wanted to hear all those years but in a way that felt unearned and out of the blue. It was really cathartic for me to write a scene where she struggles with those mixed feelings but has Adora and Melog to help her process them. And I had long associated the song the title is from with Catra and Shadow Weaver’s relationship, and the way she died trying to redeem herself really solidified that connection.

8. Hail Mary, chapter 6: This was supposed to be a short chapter mostly about the backstory between Catra and Scorpia in this au, with some Catradora yearning thrown in. It evolved into a massive, sprawling thing that is very atmospheric in terms of how the setting and vibes are described and how in the moment it feels. Hail Mary is like that sometimes but that type of narration is usually about football games rather than parties, so this chapter was a fun change of pace in many ways. It was really nostaglic for me to write too, the nerves of being a teenager at a party with your crush and how intense everything feels. And the Scorptra stuff really is delicious, it was nice seeing them have that conversation they never got to have in canon and truly make up, and the tiny sliver I added of Catra’s earlier history was heartbreaking in the best way. So this was not what I intended to write, but it turned out way better for it.

7. A Better Son or Daughter (AMV): I’ve done other Adora AMVs, but this one is really my iconic piece. The song is perfect for Adora, so perfect it’s on Noelle’s Adora playlist. The vid itself is a character study about Adora’s mental health struggles and the way she represses them, as well as a tribute to her resiliency and her eventual triumph of getting to a better place in her life. This is a song that gives me a lot of feelings and once I was making it about Adora it gave me even more, so this was a very satisfying piece to complete. I wish Noelle had gotten a chance to see it but oh well, maybe down the line.

6. Hail Mary, chapter 12: This is the chapter that much of the fic had been building to, Catra and Adora in conflict because Catra finally got the chance to be Adora’s hero and Adora shot her down. It’s painfully analogous to canon, both in terms of how (I suspect) Catra felt in Thaymor and Adora’s tendency to victim blame because she’s so pragmatic. There’s definitely some tones of Taking Control in there but Lonnie does a much better job of examining Catra’s psychology and needs than Glimmer did in canon (a writing error imo, Glimmer should have had more insight). Adora just wants to help but sometimes in her quest to do so she disenfranchises others, and this was a much needed look at that aspect of her character. It’s also an excellent illustration of what it’s like to play a peacekeeping role in an abusive household and how stressful it is trying to protect others while also protecting yourself.

5. Unstoppable (AMV): This is not my favorite Catra AMV I’ve ever done, but it might be the cleverest. The soundtrack is a song about mental illness masquerading as a song about being a bad bitch, which is basically Catra in a nutshell. The lyrics are incredibly fitting for her and her arc as it develops over seasons 1-4. The vid itself takes a hard turn in the interpretation of the lyrics, going from talking about how no one can stop Catra to how she can’t stop herself because she’s in such a terrible sunk cost fallacy spiral, and I think I got several death threats over that twist lmao. As someone who primarily deals in angst, there’s hardly a better compliment to be paid.

4. Demons, chapter 31: This one got real dark on me. The concept of this chapter was originally an examination of how comparing abuse can get really dicey but you also have to respect that other people have had different experiences from you and you have to be careful not to equate things or make it sound like you’re talking over someone else. I guess it’s also a bit of a look at how autistic people (like myself) will often explain why they can empathize so others know they understand rather than saying empty platitudes, but that can come off as insensitive or like they’re making things about them. I mean, in this case Adora kinda was making things about her, but she was provoked into it by a parade of comments insinuating she didn’t suffer at all, which was also unfair. Anyway it’s one of the more important Catradora fights in Demons and something I’d written bits of over a year prior, it was that important to the plot, but it also took a turn I was not originally planning. I finished the chapter when I was in a really bad depressive and self-loathing spiral and that bled onto the page, but it worked perfectly for Catra in this scenario... that push and pull of feeling like the world has hurt and victimized you mixed with knowing you’ve done some bad things yourself and feeling like you don’t have a leg to stand on when mourning the ways you’ve been hurt. It’s intense as all fuck but it’s excellent.

3. Hail Mary, chapter 11: Speaking of dark Catra content, this chapter... whew. It was really something else, to read and to write. I have written flashbacks in Demons that are more detailed and even include explicit violence but because those scenes are always in flashback form I never really got the chance to sit in the head of an abuse victim waiting for the other shoe to drop for an entire chapter like I did here. It’s quite different from the rest of Hail Mary stylistically and is both highly sensory and extremely internalized. It took me back to some terrifying moments in my own life so it was difficult but also extremely cathartic to write. It’s important too because it really sets up where Catra was at mentally heading into her big fight with Adora, and that chapter is in Adora POV. This chapter is ranked so high simply because it’s... polished, as @malachi-walker put it. It almost is its own story within the story and really noteworthy as a piece all its own.

2. Demons, chapter 26: This chapter is very similar thematically to Hail Mary 12, just based in the canonverse. It deals with one of the core (but highly neglected by fandom) conflicts between Catra and Adora, where they both need to feel like they can take care of and protect the other but also detest feeling weak or vulnerable themselves. It leads to Adora’s ego making Catra feel disrespected and Catra’s behavior confusing Adora and making her think she’s an ungrateful brat rather than someone who needs so badly to be needed, just like her. There’s definitely some power struggles in this chapter but finally they’re able to get to the heart of it and seeing them talk it out is so satisfying. Getting this chapter published was also important to me on a personal level because, like I said, this aspect of their conflict and relationship is rarely acknowleged for how important it is when really it’s one of the deepest conflicts between them in the series. It’s a scene I started writing pretty much as soon I knew I was extending the fic into something longer because I just needed them to have this conversation, so finishing it was so satisfying.

1. Satisfaction, chapter 3: This chapter took me a really long time to write, both in terms of time to get it published and time I actually spent working on it. It’s the crown jewel of a fic that’s really important to me and I had to get it just right, so I spent more time agonizing over every detail and rewriting things to get them absolutely perfect than I usually do (I’m a perfectionist anyway, but this took it to a whole other level). But in the end it was worth it, because this chapter is damn fine. It’s really hot, as you’d expect from a smut fic, but it’s also an excellent character study of how both Catra and Adora were affected by their abuse and trauma and the issues it raises for them in terms of sex and intimacy. Also, come on, we need more BDSM fics out there that focus on the actual point of it all (the trust involved) and promote communication and do the character work to explain why they might be into it in the first place.

BONUS (from December 31, 2019): One of my favorite pieces of 2020 technically came out in 2019, but I posted it on New Years Eve so most people first saw it in 2020. It’s an absolute banger of an AMV called I’m Not Jesus that’s all about Catra and Adora’s anger towards Shadow Weaver and their refusal to forgive their abuser. Funny enough this came out before Adora’s iconic “I will never forgive you” line, and Shadow Weaver definitely made things more complicated with how she went out, but I think the sentiment still applies.

#2020 recap #happy new year #writing #vidding #fanfic #spop #catradora #demons #hail mary #satisfaction #the sting in my eyes #a better son/daughter #unstoppable #i’m not jesus

[offtopicoverload]

Just in Case

Sometimes you have to spend all night outside someone’s door, or all morning sitting at their desk, just in case they need some pizza. Or you, they might also need you.

hey, whaddaya know, i actually wrote something lmao. ive literally wanted to fix this plotline since i read it like six months ago or something, so i thought i finally would instead of doing something more responsible. and fair warning, it’s been ages since i played tfs and i have a shit memory, so if their characters are off, here’s my excuse

T Rating (just college kids being a bit dumb, so no warnings or anything)

Kaitlyn x MC (Maya)

~2k (a true random little ficlet lol)

Maya knocks on the door lightly, the raps hesitant as she turns her voice as sweet as she can possibly manage, “Hey, Kait? Do you wanna talk? Do you need anything? Do you want a hug? Or I could order pizza?” she rambles, shifting nervously. Her hands clasp and unclasp before her, palms clammy as her stomach rolls in waves of anxiety, a slow-building hurricane.

And it’s not helped by the answer she receives from the blank wood before her, “I want to be left alone.” It’s harsh and upset and frustrated as it leaks through the cracks between the frame and the door.

“You sure?” She fights against every instinct to throw the door open, fingers twitching at the desire to turn the knob just below her palm.

“Yes,” that same severe, irritated voice answers once more, “Go away.”

She sighs, head drooping, “You know I can’t do that, Kait. So I’ll just, um…” she drops to the floor, turning so her back rests against the door, her head turned upwards as she speaks, “If you need anything, I’m right here. Offer for pizza still stands.”

Another heavy sigh slips past her lips as she receives no response from the other side of the door. She digs in her jacket pocket for her phone, pulling it out and tapping until she finds Zack’s contact.

Hey

heya Meya

Can we talk?

always

I think Kait’s mad at me

why do you think that

She slammed the door in my face and told me to go away

yeah, i’d say she’s mad

did you leave her alone

I stopped talking

and you also went away

No I’m outside her room

just give her space

What if she needs pizza?

she can get herself pizza My

I don’t want her to be alone

she wants to be alone tho

I need her to know I’m always here

she doesn’t need you right now

i think you should give her space

What if something happens again?

like what

Like her birthday

There’s a long pause with no response, not even grey bubbles bouncing in the corner.

you stopped talking

Yeah. Promise

how long are you gonna stay there

As long as she’s in her room

that’ll be all night

That’s okay. Her door’s pretty comfy

Maya

I have to be here if she needs pizza

Maya can almost hear the sigh that accompanies the next message,

fine

night My

Night Zack

Her head falls back against the door, a soft thump sounding with it as her eyes flutter shut. Her hands knit in her lap, phone resting between them. A few sounds echo through the suite as the other roommates go about their evenings, but it’s quiet in Kaitlyn’s room.

It’s quiet and peaceful, and the day’s events are starting to wear on Maya as she patiently awaits a call from Kaitlyn. She sits there, the silence behind her beginning to settle along her shoulders like a weighted blanket, starting to gently pull her from consciousness.

Maya’s body careens backwards and her head crashes into the hardwood beneath her, a groan echoing as her eyes blink open. Kaitlyn’s standing above her, hovering with a clenched jaw and furious glare as morning light plays off her skin, her hair, her eyes, her everything in a halo.

The door’s been jerked open, Maya falling with it until she’s flat on her back with a dull ache in the back of her skull. She attempts to blink away the haze that’s clouding her mind of any thoughts but the girl standing above her, and all too soon memories of yesterday flood her senses.

A blush burns her cheeks, heating her face warmer than the sun still alighting Kaitlyn in an ethereal glow, “Hi,” she offers meekly, a small wave momentarily drawing Kaitlyn’s gaze.

But a second later she’s stepping over the crumpled form of Maya without a single word or backwards glance, striding in the direction of the suite’s kitchen. And Maya watches her go, watches her disappear around the corner, watches the corridor turn empty and lifeless as she exhales what feels like the last of her tether to Earth.

---

“Hey Kaitlyn,” Zack greets through a mouthful of poptarts, as chipper as usual. He swallows thickly, “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” she grumbles, sidestepping him to pull the fridge door open, staring blankly into it and silently hoping something good will appear if she stares long enough.

Zack appears behind her, carefully nudging the fridge door closed, “You doing okay?”

She eyes him up suspiciously, “Yeah. Why?”

He responds with an awkward shrug, averting his gaze nervously, “You normally steal my poptart,” he mutters.

“Rookie mistake,” she grins, snatching the remaining half from his hand and taking a bite.

“So you’re okay?”

Kaitlyn stills, the poptart frozen away from her face, “Maya told you, didn’t she?”

“Well…” Zack glances away, shrugging under the weight of Kaitlyn’s judgemental gaze, “She told me you were mad at her, but not why.”

“My parents know,” she murmurs, eyes trained on the poptart held in her palm.

“That you’re gay?!”

Her eyes snap up to find a scandalized Zack staring back, “No, that my favorite color’s green. Yeah, that I’m gay!”

“That’s not good.”

“Nope,” she pops the ‘p’ before taking another bite.

“So why are you mad at Maya?”

“‘Cause it’s her fault.”

Zack’s eyes go wide, “Did she tell them?!”

Dark hair flies around Kaitlyn’s shoulders as she shakes her head, “No. No,” she corrects, “But they saw us kissing.”

“Oh, so it was an accident.”

“Yeah.”

“Then why are you mad at Maya?”

“‘Cause she started this whole thing by coming along, and then followed me outside, and then she wouldn’t leave me alone on the train or on the way home,” she huffs.

“She just wants to be there for you,” Zack reaches out, squeezing her shoulder in an attempt at some sort of comfort. 

And Kaitlyn just shrugs him off, “I don’t need her.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“No, I don’t,” she shoots him an unimpressed look, taking the last bite of the poptart and dusting her hands off.

“Kait, we all need her. Like, literally, I think this dorm would fall apart without her.”

“Well, I don’t need her.”

“What if she needs you?”

“She’s an adult.”

“She’s your girlfriend.”

“Who’s an adult.”

Zack just stares at her with his jaw clenched, looking more irritated than Kaitlyn’s ever seen him.  “What?” she explodes defensively, squirming under his gaze.

He sighs, digging out his phone from his pocket and tapping for a few seconds before presenting a text thread to her. She cautiously takes the device, scanning over the messages dated as last night. “I don’t know what was going on with the pizza thing,” he mutters under his breath.

“It’s - it doesn’t matter,” she sighs, just as her eyes land on one message in particular. She huffs, shoving Zack’s phone back into his hands as she storms out of the kitchen and down the hall, frustrated once more.

She pauses outside Maya’s door at the mouth of the hallway, just two down from her own, which has since been abandoned. She steps closer, pressing her ear to the door in search of some excuse to not disrupt. But it’s quiet on the other end, the only noises coming from the rest of the suite surrounding them.

Kaitlyn gently nudges the door open, the hinges creaking painfully loudly as Maya’s bedroom slowly comes into view, a familiar and welcoming sight. Dark eyes scan the room, taking in the closed curtains and the cluttered desk before landing on the bed, where a lump rests beneath the sheets.

Maya’s back is to the door as she lays curled in on herself, her profile rising a fraction with every delicate breath, with her braids splayed in a mess on her pillow. Light from the kitchen spills inside, yellow splashing in sharp lines along her comforter and along the wall, Kaitlyn’s shadow further obscuring the room.

She slips further inside, closing the door just as carefully as she opened it and takes a few cautious steps towards the bed. Maya doesn’t stir an inch, her breathing the only sound in the room as Kaitlyn crosses to the desk tucked against the wall.

She sinks into the chair before it, her leg bouncing anxiously as she simply watches the form across the room from her. Her fingers twitch and tap as she replays the past few months, from that first night, to the football games, to the sorority drama, to her birthday, and all the mess that came with it.

Though, maybe some good came with it too. Like movie nights and coffee dates and afternoons spent studying on the rooftop. Like wide smiles and unrestrained laughs and crinkled, bright eyes. Like eager kisses and tight hugs and lazy morning cuddles.

The form stirs, rolling onto her other side until a stray ray of sunlight is streaked across her cheek. Her eyes flutter open before she’s fumbling onto her elbows, “Kait?” she whispers, her voice heavy with sleep.

“Yeah,” Kaitlyn mumbles, her head dipping awkwardly.

“What are you doing?”

“Thought I’d stick around in case you needed anything.”

Maya softens, a gentle quiet filling the room before her hands find their way out from under the covers, grasping in Kaitlyn’s direction, “Come here,” she urges with a wave.

Kaitlyn obliges, standing and shuffling to the edge of the bed, where Maya takes her hand and tugs her onto the mattress. Kaitlyn slips beneath the comforter, her arms curling around Maya as she cuddles close, burying her face in Kaitlyn’s shoulder.

“Are you gonna be okay?” she whispers into Kaitlyn’s shirt, her breath hot where it seeps through the fabric to warm Kaitlyn’s skin.

Kaitlyn draws her closer, their legs tangling beneath the sheets as she tucks her chin over Maya’s head, absentmindedly twirling a braid around one finger, “Yeah, I think I just needed some time to think, you know? And my parents probably need space, so it’ll be awhile before I talk to them anyway.

“Maybe I can sort something out or write a letter, I don’t know. I don’t think I know what to say, but I’m working on it and trying to figure out how to move forward. I was up most of the night thinking about how I could fix things, or what I should do, and stressing about if I should even be bothered, and my mom ended up texting me and we spoke for a bit. It was nice that she wasn’t upset, but my dad’s another story.” She finally stops for air, looking down to find Maya’s eyes closed and her breathing back to that soft and gentle rhythm.

“Are you still awake?” she whispers, eyes tracing the way the few rays of sunlight slipping through the curtain dance along her skin, illuminate her features.

Maya hums in the back of her throat, “Mmhmm.”

A small grin quirks Kaitlyn’s lips, “So you know what I was talking about?”

“Mmhmm.”

“So you have no problem with me, say, tossing you out of bed?” Kaitlyn teases, her smile growing as Maya’s features stay peaceful and sleep-laden.

“Mmhmm.”

Kaitlyn chuckles softly, the exhale stirring a few strands of her hair as it lay on the pillow as she murmurs, “Sweet dreams. I’m here just in case,” and plants a small kiss on Maya’s forehead.

#just something small to try and get going today #choices fanfic #the freshman series #the freshman #this is a zack stan account #i dont make the rules #kaitlyn liao #kaitlyn x mc #tfs #tfs jic #im so bad at tags asdfjk

[rpmemesbyarat]

Having some trouble picking things your muse enjoys or likes to do? Well, here’s some ideas how! Look at what’s around you right now, and get ideas from that. For instance, next to me is a lamp. Maybe your muse could be interested in antique or kitschy lamps, or collect nightlights, or be interested in interior design. My TV is also nearby. Maybe your muse has a favorite show, or wants to write for television, or is on their school’s news team, or is good with electronic things. My plush unicorn is nearby me too. Maybe your muse collects plushes, or unicorn items, or loves fantasy, or loves equines. My knit hat is perched on the back of my chair as I type this. Maybe your muse knits, or has an interest in millinery, or likes fashion, or does outdoor sports in winter that require a hat. See how easy this is once you get going? Another way is to look at the lifestyle your muse has, as well as the lifestyle that they WANT to have. A girl who lives out in the country on her family’s farm might be all about chickens and livestock and doing outdoorsy farm things…or she might long for glamorous city life. A high society debutante might adore the fancy parties and rubbing shoulders with her upper crust peers…or she might romanticize the “common life” and want to be a part of that instead. Let’s examine those four girls. The country mouse that loves her lot in life might do a lot of 4H shows, keep a garden, go riding or hunting, take long walks through the fields and farmlands, breed her own chickens/dogs/rabbits/etc. She probably also has some sewing skills to keep her clothes in repair until the next time they can afford to buy new ones. The country mouse that longs for the city might also have sewing skills, but uses them to try to emulate the urban fashions from the chic magazines she hoards, loves watching shows and reading novels set in the big city, and is saving up to get away there herself. The debutante that loves her life is probably very fashion-conscious, keeps up to date with the latest people to be seen with and places to be seen at, and is probably a member of some kind of social clubs where she plays preppy sports like polo, tennis, and golf, as well as expensive ski trips in winter and yachting in the summer. The Rebellious Princess, however, might shun these activities and instead sneak out at night to go to the “wrong side of the tracks” and do things that she perceives as the height of bad behavior, such as dive bars, pool, crazy clubs, maybe even something as declasse as wrestling matches, rock concerts, and monster truck rallies! She’s probably fashion-conscious too, but in a different way; she wants to look like a BAD girl, in the latest biker boots and punk jewelry she made out of safety pins. Or she might not dare go out and play the part, but does have an interest in anything that speaks to her desires, be it music, movies, or books. Looking at what job your character has or wants to have can also give you some ideas about they enjoy. For instance, if someone wants to be a writer, it’s a safe bet they probably have a passion for reading, and from that you can choose what kinds of genres they enjoy, and get other interest from that. For instance, a fantasy reader might like other fantasy-related things such as Ren Faires or fantasy-based art or historical costuming. Or perhaps their interest in, say, learning Elvish comes with a passion for languages as well, or their interest in fictional dynasties suggests they might like studying real royalty too. Whereas a sci-fi reader might enjoy speculative biology about what alien species might exist, or building models of fictional spacecrafts. Someone who became a lawyer might have a strong interest in justice, so that might influence what kind of media they consume. Someone who is a wildlife biologist probably has an interest in animals in some way which can lead to various other hobbies as well as science. Other good ways to get ideas is to look at places such as AskReddit and search for topics like “What are your interests?” or browse Tumblrs and see what people are into, look at aesthetics and moodboards, and pick things from them that you feel suits your character. If you know your character’s zodiac or something similar, you could look up common interests of that sign/MBTI group/etc (though feel free of course to take interests more common to other signs/groups/etc!) As I said in the CHARACTER HOBBIES post, ignore stereotypes. I love fashion, and I love comic books, and I love getting dirty with animals. Some people think that if you like something “nerdy” like comics, you must have no sense of style and never go outside. These same people probably think that people who like fashion also sneer at “nerdy” things and shriek at the thought of fur getting on their fancy duds. Obviously, I prove this is not the case, and I’m not the Special Snowflake who is the sole exception to this rule either. For instance, at my high school, the star quarterback on the football team was also in drama club and was a TERRIFIC actor. So don’t feel that just because your muse likes a certain thing means they have to be a certain kind of person or can’t like other things. It is perfectly fine for your muse to enjoy both academic literature and gossip tabloids, classical music and the latest pop, French indie cinema and rubber sci-fi monster movies. Jocks can like art, preps can like poetry, goths can like things that AREN’T black. What social group your muse falls into (though they’re rarely that cut-and-dried in real life as media makes tem out) might help give you some hints about what they MAY be into (for instance, a Goth can like things that aren’t black, but they also probably like a lot of things that are, or else Goth probably wouldn’t appeal to them) but it shouldn’t become a box. Go with what fits your muse as an individual! 

#character hobbies #writeblr #writing tips #character tips #oc tips

[luvdsc]

Misss cat hii how are you doing?? Here are some questions for you if you don't mind answering they're just for fun 😅- 1. What's your favourite hobby? 2. What is something you did ritualistically with your friends pre-covid but cannot now? 3. In HS, what did you do with your free summers, or just time off in general? How has that changed over time? 4. If you could dedicate one song as the soundtrack to your life, what would it be? 5. Fictional characters you related to the most?

also I wanted to say when I was new to your blog I saw you writing letters to some of your friends and I thought they were very pretty your handwriting is lovely 💌💕

hi, honey bee!! 💓 I’m doing good, thank you for asking :’) how are you doing? 💕 and omg yeah, of course I don’t mind, lovebug 💘

1. What’s your favorite hobby?

mmm I have several! I love painting, writing pen pal letters, visiting art museums, and going out with my friends 🌼 anything art would be #1! oh, and I really love watching crime shows and baking 🍰

2. What is something you did ritualistically with your friends pre-covid but cannot now?

i went on sunday brunches, boba runs, and shopping with them every week! i also went on daily breakfast/lunch/dinner outings with them too :’) basically, i always ate any meal with my friends, and i miss that 🤧 i also really miss partying and clubbing with them at least twice a week, and i miss having netflix marathons with my roomie where we drink wine and get uber eats together and paint 💕 i miss seeing my friends in my classes everyday..... i miss my weekly shopping and dinner trips with my best friend after work every friday... i miss walking to the farmer’s market and visiting the local art museum with my other best friend every saturday... i miss doing drunk tinder swipes with my best friends on a thursday night..... i miss doing city weekend trips with them... i just miss my friends a lot 😭

3. In HS, what did you do with your free summers, or just time off in general? How has that changed over time? 

in hs, my mom made me study math with her every summer for like 6 hours a day, so i was basically three math levels ahead of my grade every year. and in whatever free time i had left, i slept in super late or watched crime shows, or my sister drove me to the mall or movies so that i can hang out with my friends (bless my sister for not ratting me out to my parents that i had friends that were boys or went on dates). but besides that, i had to practice piano daily for 2 hours year round. in my free time, i was a dedicated member of the robotics team, volunteering club, art club, and school ambassadors club amongst others, but those four took up most of my time! i worked on robotics after school and on saturdays. on sundays, i always volunteered at the hospital and during my other free time, i would sign up for other volunteering opportunities, like community gardening or soup kitchens. i did a lot of art in between that and volunteered for school things, like open house, giving tours, and speaking to younger students.

nowadays, my family likes to take out of country summer trips for 2-3 weeks where we visit 2 different countries. of course, we had to skip that last year because of covid and possibly this year as well. i like to occupy my time by watching crime shows, facetiming friends, painting, writing pen pal letters, doing any sort of art, baking, catching up on sleep, and writing, of course :’) i’ve been writing a lot more now since i’m stuck at home and we can’t be out and about socializing anymore. but !!! my sister and i go out for outdoor dining on saturdays to get out of the house, and i just got tickets to an art exhibit (on hyuck’s bday coincidentally!!) with one of my best friends, which i’m so sooo excited about 💓

4. If you could dedicate one song as the soundtrack to your life, what would it be?

oh man.... can i say the entire fearless (taylor’s version) album??? 🤧 okay, so the way i loved you is my absolute favorite song out of all songs hands down, but i think fifteen might be it for my soundtrack. there’s these two lines that get me every time: “in your life, you’ll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team, i didn’t know it at fifteen” and “back then i swore i was gonna marry him someday, but i realized some bigger dreams of mine.” and i feel like that’s really encompassed my life so far??? like my god, i remember thinking during my elementary/middle school days after seeing all those movies and my sister in hs that hs was it. i thought hs was everything like i’d go on dates, meet my hs sweetheart, and prom would be this magical moment - but it’s not. life is so much bigger than that, so much bigger than meeting a boy and getting your first kiss and going to prom (thanks for the memories tho, james, nathan, austin, and jacob). that’s such a miniscule part of my life, and romance isn’t even on my radar anymore like if it’s there, it happens, but i’m so focused on myself and loving myself and that’s all i need tbh

5. Fictional characters you related to the most?

mulan and elle woods from legally blonde !! 💕

and omg thank you so much for liking my pen pal letters, honey bee!!! 🥺🌸 and thank you for complimenting my handwriting 🤧💖💖💖 this was really fun, thank you for sending in these questions, lovebug 💟

#asks #anonymous