#He looks like the kind of man to say daddy seriously tbh

[gunkbaby]

Him: are u stupid

Me fr:

#My son he is so so little and has 98 mental illnesses #He looks like the kind of man to say daddy seriously tbh #I smoked 10 blunts and drank seven monster energy a day when i was pregnant with him that’s why he’s so little #He would not hurt a fly. #shuu gunk #gunk #shuucore #tsukiyama gunk

[calciferstims]

anon who asked what izzy hands. aint afraid to ask ANYTHING MWAHAAA!! but please…i-infodump. 😳 i wanna know MORE about this legendary whatever-it is 😳 DOOOOO EEEEHHHHTTT

LMAO ‘legendary’ sure is an amusing word to use in this case 😂 ok u asked for it ur getting the mega infodump supreme bc my annoying little adhd ass demands it…. putting all of it under the cut tho bc I’m nice. you do NOT have to read all of this oh god please don’t force yourself to read it. I’m serious.

ok first of all real answer he’s just a dude. from our flag means death my favorite gay pirate comedy show which EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH IMMEDIATELY- but anyways he’s just Blackbeard’s grumpy first mate and he’s kind of an antagonist I guess but mostly he’s just a bit of a dick lmao.

but he’s just. he’s so funny to me. he’s not even a character to me he’s just a meme. his name brings to mind a cute little girl but instead he’s the most exhausted 55 year old man you’ve ever seen in your life. he has this very distinct voice that made me do a double-take the first time he came on screen because I thought it was fake but it’s not. he kind of reminds me of that little mouse godfather from zootopia,, but British,,,

one time he moaned ‘daddy’ on screen because he was???? trying to make fun of someone I guess??? but it traumatized many people. he’s often called both gay and homophobic. he is CANONICALLY in love with Blackbeard and that’s like, his whole deal. just pathetically pining after his boss like a loser. he’s a masochist. he gets slammed into a wall and choked and he just smiles about it like a little freak. he *** his own *** and was like, weirdly into it. (smiled about it like a little freak again). he’s 5’8” which really isn’t that short but everyone else is taller than him so he looks tiny all the time. he wants to be a cool intimidating serious pirate SO badly but nobody takes him seriously. (I mean no shock considering that he is literally a pirate that gets seasick.) people often say that he’s in the wrong genre - he really wishes he could be in black sails, but he’s stuck in the dumb comedy pirate show instead. he’s also often described as the only human surrounded by muppets.

his actor is absolutely batshit insane. I could get into it more but I’ll hold back… but god I am so parasocial about con o’neill lmao. a lot of people consider him a big part of the appeal of the character or like, don’t give a shit about izzy but adore con. he put his entire fucking PUSSY into playing izzy hands and for WHAT??? he has like, these insanity-inducing micro expressions going on in the background at all times. everyone always misses it the first time around but then on your second viewing (because of course you’re gonna rewatch this show) it’s like WHATTTT IS GOING ON WITH THIS MANNNNN????????? and that is the question we are all desperately trying to solve lmao.

also the thing about izzy hands is that he is one of the MOST divisive characters I have ever witnessed in fandom. I mean there’s obviously a very slim margin of people who are normal about him but then everyone else he just invokes such INTENSE emotions in, whether they be positive or negative. he rules over a very insane little corner of the fandom (which I belong to in case you couldn’t tell) in which we obsess daily over his 42 minutes of screentime and call him babygirl. and then on the other hand you have these very intense anti-izzy anons that yell at us for having fun. we are convinced that like, 80% of these anons are actually the same individual person. they are practically a celebrity that this point. the things they send people are so utterly ridiculous it’s almost comedic, they are SO intensely obsessed with hating izzy hands it’s fucking hilarious, like he’s literally just a guy but they talk about him like he is a literal plague on this earth. like don’t get me wrong there’s definitely a lot of valid criticism about him, he is very much not a good person and very unlikable tbh, but still.. come on people. it’s (unfortunately) a rite of passage at this point to get anon hate about izzy. (I myself have gotten anon hate over enjoying this man. one of my criminal offenses was *checks notes* being a minor who enjoys engaging in fandom).

hm. what else. he’s based on a real pirate who existed named israel hands. I desperately wish we knew more about him but sadly there’s very little information… however the funny thing is that the real israel hands would have been 16-17 when the show takes place, but instead they decided to make him the angriest old man ever. (excellent decision). this guy is SO angry all the time, he yells at everyone and curses in every sentence, his favorite word is TWAT, I literally watch videos of him screaming to give myself a dopamine hit because I am that far gone. he is painfully repressed. he is constantly getting up in men’s faces and shoving them around but he ends up just staring at their lips. especially in this one scene I swear to god you can just feel him VIBRATING with repressed gay thoughts lmao, here’s a gif for reference bc it felt important:

he’s absolutely deranged and insane and we know nothing about his backstory but we wanna know SOOOO BAD. he is the first character that has ever compelled me to write meta. common phrases that are used about him are ‘I want to study him like a bug’, ‘I want to put him in a jar and shake it’, ect. I hated myself so fucking much when I started to hyperfixate on him bc he sucks so bad and I felt so cringe but now I’m like, 90% free of self-judgement so. win for me I guess. definitely a loss for everyone else tho.

ok ok I think I’m done for now. I got it all out. mostly. if anyone actually read all of that 1) I’m so sorry and 2) I’m kissing you on the lips

thank u very much for encouraging me to be a horrible little pest <33333 have some iggies against your will

#the iggy spelling was on purpose #ask box #so sorry for unleashing this #I just went for it lmao #god he’s like. he’s just a GUY. i know he’s just a guy. logically #but he’s not just a guy to me he is the most Character ever and he’s my babygirl <3333 #he’s just. a little wet rat. a cockroach even. #like there’s izzy hands (the real character) and then there’s izzy hands (the fanon version) #and let me tell u there is So Much going on with the fanon version

[blondrichclosetwitch]

We come from Dublin Ireland

Erubey/brave man, almighty

Like you’re playing out the end of a storyline

Tell the secret you can’t keep

Call me if you need a friend or never talk to me again

She had more than the five senses she knew more than books..she could teach and raise everyone she touched just a little bit higher and all around her there was a natural sense as though she sensed what the stars say, what the birds say, what the wind and the clouds say

I want an answer to all my problems and

You will regret it.

“She’s doing so much harm, doing so much damage. But you don’t want to get involved.”

We’ll repeat the same stories, but of course never in front of friends.

But 12 watching me at the wheel

You told me secrets I was shocked to know

How It all started in the kitchen: yeah, let’s get some answers. What is the brown stuff sprayed all over my kitchen, Bubbles?

Because it is everywhere. And Enquiring minds want to know.

(It inspired an improv scenario about why I refuse to remove your gestures)

Down in the graveyard where we have our Tryst

 Lord have mercy, fire and brimstone,I was dancing with mistress D (dude this song used to play All The Time )

Little sister, let your sharp teeth show: seriously, don’t be shy to show your gifts. You’ve missed your true calling btw, really don’t know why you’re pretending to care about law for God’s sake

I mean anyone who can get away with treating a human like a caged animal? That’s pure gold.

“Following the prelude to the Red Curtain: “

The answer is quite simple: the big red theater curtain allows the audience to sit in anticipation, and off. Prior to the start of the show, the audience sits and waits, wondering what the opening scene will look like. The curtain provides a simple barrier between those on stage and those in the audience. moreover, the lowering of the curtain at the end of the show signals That It Is Finished. 

“When once you had believed it now, you see it sucking you in.”

There’s a radio in the corner it’s dying to make us see

 you can’t hide you can’t run if you leave me there will be torment it’s me or no one if you leave, I’ll take your life away like you were no one so tell me you love me.

Sounds kind of psycho, tbh

Floor collapsing, falling: “So she knew about the floor/ stool thing.” That’s fucked up, mags

911, what’s your emergency?

Suicidal ideation.

“I’m dying laughing. “

But to me they sound psychotic

He tells his friends, “ I like her because she’s so much smarter than me.”

For the first time in my life I am moving away from within the reach of me and all the while being held like a big old baby

Christmas Katie calls the people names

 never wanna see Katie cry

Christmas Katie, baby, blow your horn

Men of good fortune very often can’t do a thing. While men of poor beginnings, often can do anything.

They have no rich daddy to fall back on.

“Have I learned Restraint? Am I quiet enough for you?”

#ma elring to istanbul #407h 40 min

[fallinforgyu]

yunho nsfw alphabet!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

even after sex, yunho is very physically affectionate. he would kiss any bruises he left on you, run his hands all over your body, and massage any sore muscles you have. he'd also praise you a lot 🥺

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

am i allowed to say dick? i'm gonna say dick. yunho knows he has a weapon of mass destruction between his legs and he knows exactly how to use it. he's literally the definition of big dick energy, and he has a big dick to match it 😭 on his partners, he likes ass. he's like the biggest ass man ive ever seen LMAO also i have this weird feeling that he might have a thing for feet

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

him cumming inside of you is a reward 🥺 you don't get his cum if you've been a brat, and if you want him to cum inside, you better be on your best behavior. and he'd ask you that every single time like, "you think you deserve daddy's cum? do you think you've been a good girl/boy?"

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

tbh i don't think he has many 🤔 he'd own up to all of his sexual experiences and he's not pervy or anything

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

yunho is very experienced. like... very very experienced. he has had a good amount of partners and he knows exactly what he's doing. i also think he'd like having an inexperienced partner because of this 🤕

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he would really like doggy style (sidenote i think doggy style is such a gross name and we should come up with another name for it 😭) and he'd also love fucking you from behind while you lay on your tummy with your ass in the air (idk what that position is called LMAO)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

the only time he'd laugh in bed is when he's chuckling to himself over how cute/desperate you are. other than that, he takes sex very seriously and wouldn't be laughing or goofy

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he probably trims and is v well groomed!

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

has the capability to be intimate, but would usually be pretty passionate/forceful. intimacy with him would be heavily associated with claiming. like him marking you up with hickeys, fucking you super deeply, and asking "who do you belong to, baby?" (he already knows it's him, but he likes hearing you say it out loud)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

doesn't need to masturbate often bc he fucks all the time. but would look really fucking hot when he does 🤕 he's the type to slouch in a chair with his legs spread and stroke himself really slowly while he watches his fav porn </3

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

daddy kink is the biggest one i think. but also strength kink, size kink, and breeding kink. and corruption kink and tummy bulge kink and he'd also probably be into dacryphilia 😭 i think yunho is pretty kinky

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

i had this thought once that yunho has a fifty-shades-style sex room and the thought just kind of stuck 🧍‍♀️ i think he'd like having a room strictly for sex, with all of his toys and contraptions and a massive bed, of course 😭

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

innocence for sure. like i think he would get hard from you telling him that you haven't had your first kiss yet 😭 wear clothes that show off your ass combined with that and he's a goner

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i truly cannot picture yunho as a sub in any circumstance 🧍‍♀️ i'm so sorry i know there are lots of sub yunho enthusiasts on here but i literally cannot see him as anything other than a hard dom

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

is incredibly skilled at giving (he loves eating you out to prep you to take his cock), but he prefers to receive. he'd really like when you look fucked out, and seeing you crying while you're gagging on his dick would make him throb 🤕

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

hard and deep. he wants to hear your thighs clap while he fucks you, and he's not gonna be gentle most of the time. unless he's making love to you, then his thrusts would be slow (but just as deep 😭)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

isn't into quickies because they're not super satisfying to him. he likes making sex into an event that lasts for literal hours, and he's not content until he's cum at least twice and you've cum at least five times

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

would try pretty much anything, though i think he's already tried most things in the book 😭 good luck taking any of yunho's first times, because he's probably already had all of them

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

can go for a long time. also lasts a really long time. this might get exhausting because you'll probably cum on his cock twice before he's even close 😭 but he'd love seeing you fucked out :( and that's when he'd make you beg for his cum, when you're shaking and overstimulated and on the verge of tears 🥺

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

owns toys for both his partners and himself, but only really uses them on his partners. he has toys for rewards and toys for punishments, and whichever ones he uses on you is completely at his discretion

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

would love to edge you because he likes when you cry and beg for his cock :( even though he's very sweet, i think he would be a pretty mean dom. he'd do that thing where he gives you fake sympathy like, "oh, i know, baby. daddy's so mean, isn't he? aw, i'm sorry sweetheart, you poor thing."

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

would grunt if anything, but wouldn't make much noise other than that. but is a big talker and would love dirty talk!!

W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

probably likes eating ass

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

i've said it before and i'll say it again: biggest dick in kpop

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

very high. would like to have sex very frequently, possibly even multiple times a day 😭

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

not fast, but not slow either. he'd make sure all of your needs were taken care of first, and i don't think he'd fall asleep until you do

#yall are welcome for that link btw #ateez hard hours #ateez smut #yunho smut

[annyeongffs]

#𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧: 𝘁𝗯𝘇 𝗮𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗺𝘀.

𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁. 𝗇𝗈 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗌!

𝘅𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝗅𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗎𝗍. 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌, 𝖽𝗈𝗆 𝗍𝖻𝗓.

𝑺𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒚𝒆𝒐𝒏:

soft dom / 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / hard dom

• sangyeon isn’t a super hard dom, but he very much wants to be the one in control. whether it’s of you, your reactions, your orgasm, etc... mans just wants to feel in charge. i don’t see him being strict or anything but he’s definitely dominant. will probably prefer to be on top but can sometimes be a power bottom; also is likely into some choking (giving), size kink (have you SEEN his hands?!), and maybe spanking,, nothing too harsh. would be an absolute king at aftercare.

𝑱𝒂𝒄𝒐𝒃:

𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / hard dom

• some see jacob as a switch or sub leaning, but when i tell you he radiates dom energy... he rADIATES. he may look sweet and act cuddly on camera, but something tells me that it’s a whole other story in bed. he probably likes to praise his partners, which makes me think he would also have a slight kink for seeing them in lingerie; not to mention his voice oh my god jacob would be so vocal, i 100% support the jacob bae dirty talk agenda!!! not afraid to tell you what he’s gonna do to you or how he wants you to behave. why can i see him as a soft brat tamer help me- also another aftercare king.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏:

𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / dom / hard dom

• younghoon is soft and cute most of the time, but as a dom i rly see him wanting to act a little rougher. nothing bad or complicated though, no chains or leather... younghoonie would probably prefer more vanilla in bed except that he also wants to be in control. he wants to see you fall apart (probably has a receiving praise kink so don’t be afraid to tell him how you feel!) and he wants to make every inch of you feel amazing. i don’t see him being super kinky but he’s not opposed to a blindfold every now and then.

𝑯𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒋𝒂𝒆:

soft dom / dom / 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝗺

• PHEW HOLD ON FOR THIS ONE YALL - hyunjae is the epitome of a hard dom. wants your hands above your head, body against the bed, gonna make you beg. i would literally bet money that this mans is into overstim (giving) like when giving oral he won’t stop until you safeword him. seriously into foreplay and edging (he is SUCH A TEASE) and i could also see him having a sir/master/daddy kink... hyunjae is in control and if you don’t believe it, you better be ready for him to fuck the brat right out of you.

𝑱𝒖𝒚𝒆𝒐𝒏:

soft dom / 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / hard dom

• i considered putting him as a soft dom bc of his sweet personality, but then i watched the breaking dawn mv and was like hmm, nope. mans is a total dom- no whips, no ropes, but when he’s in the bedroom there’s no playing around. he has no patience for brats and will leave you hanging until you submit; juyeon probably really enjoys receiving oral. also he seems like the kind to have a bit of a strength kink, i.e screwing you up against the wall just to prove he can. long story short juyeon will fuck you four ways into tomorrow... but only if you behave.

𝑲𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒏:

soft dom / 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / hard dom

• so even though most of tumblr is in agreement that kev is a massive switch / sub leaning,, we’re gonna talk abt when he doms. kevin def is the type to be into bondage- wants to see you all pretty and tied up for him like a little present. also seems like he’d be really into dirty talk, especially degradation... you’re his slut when he’s domming, no questions asked. i could also see him being into edging, but then again he could be into overstim too. mans just looks kinky af; probably hella experimentalist, willing to try anything once. expect absolute filth from him when he’s on top.

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒉𝒆𝒆:

soft dom / 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / hard dom

• new may not be the hardest dom to exist, but he’s certainly a good one. i get massive brat tamer energy from him- you wanna talk back? fine, have fun getting yourself off. you wanna play? he’s almost guaranteed to win. he won’t hesitate to show you your place... which, speaking of, is probably bent over his knee. wouldn’t be super into hurting you but would probably love to spank you as a punishment for being bratty; could be down for you calling him a title of some sort. won’t choke you too hard but will definitely leave you breathless. also a pro at aftercare, prepare to be swaddled in cuddles when he’s done with you!!

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒎𝒊𝒏:

𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / dom / hard dom

• his vibes were lowkey hard to place... i settled with soft dom bc i feel like no matter how heated the moment is, q’s first instinct is to take care of you. yes, he may be very into dirty talk, and sure, he doesn’t mind some light bondage (silk ties anyone?) but the last thing he wants to do is hurt you. i can totally see him having a thing for body worship (giving) so expect to feel beautiful around this boy; also i feel like q is the type to want you to be loud, wants to hear how good you’re feeling. basically wants to please you and make you feel amazing, but don’t forget that he’s in charge or he’ll say some very morally questionable things. will turn into the softest boy ever when it comes to aftercare.

𝑯𝒂𝒌𝒏𝒚𝒆𝒐𝒏:

soft dom / dom / 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝗺

• this might be a bit controversial but,, i get major hard dom feels from hak!!! don’t let his silly side fool you because this is a dom who will push you to your limits every. single. time. probably into rougher, more bdsm-style foreplay; i can picture him wanting you gagged and spread out under him, and pls don’t hurt me for this one i feel like this boy could be a biiiig exhibitionist... teasing you around his members, fingering you at dinner to see if you can keep quiet, even fucking your body right up against a window. but if he does anything that hurts you he’ll instantly back off, i don’t see him wanting to cause you actual harm. def expect kinky sex with haknyeon.

𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒘𝒐𝒐:

soft dom / dom / 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝗺

• brats better beware of this man right here. sunwoo will fuck you up so good you won’t remember your name; i can totally see him overstimming when giving oral like ughh, what those pretty lips do baby?? and wanting you to sit on his face. another pro at dirty talk since there’s no way a rapper like him stays silent during sex... also gives off slight exhibitionist vibes but doesn’t actually want people to see you in the act . sunwoo is a nasty little tease who loves to toy with you, edging you while making you think you’re in control when you def are not. ALSO i sense some huge corruption kink energy from him!! wants to mark you up and make you his, to be the only one to fuck you like you deserve. (but try to take control and he won’t hesitate to remind you where you belong.)

𝑬𝒓𝒊𝒄:

𝘀𝗼𝗳𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗺 / dom / hard dom

• tbh i think eric’s a bit too young to be more than a soft dom. while he’s definitely the one controlling the pace and the mood, he probably isn’t experienced enough to know how to command a sub like a true dom. that being said i feel like this boy could be pretty kinky... maybe a bit experimentalist, always curious to find the stuff that makes you both feel the best. could also be into hair pulling (giving) like when his partner is blowing him; however if you pull his hair even a little bit eric will go NUTS over it. i don’t see him wanting to be called anything like “daddy”, but when he’s in bed you both still know who’s in charge. and as long as you’re well-behaved for him, he’ll make sure you’re fucked out at the end of the night.

-

#tag: kyla's fics #tbz smut #tbz scenarios #tbz drabbles #tbz as doms #the boyz #the boyz smut #the boyz headcanons #tbz headcanons #the boyz drabbles #the boyz ff #sangyeon smut #jacob bae smut #younghoon smut #hyunjae smut #juyeon smut #kevin moon smut #chanhee smut #ji changmin smut #haknyeon smut #sunwoo smut #eric sohn smut #tbz hard hours #tbz fluff #the boyz fluff

[skiller0dani]

NSFW Alphabet | JJ Maybank

M A S T E R L I S T Outer Banks Masterlist

smut requests info

hope you enjoy, love you all. 

AFTERCARE (what he’s like after sex)

so JJ is used to random hook ups and aftercare wasn’t always something he did

he did if he was in the mood 

most of the time hook ups were a way to release pent up frustration 

and when he’s mad he doesn’t do aftercare

until he started dating you

now he goes a little over the top with aftercare

he massages you with lotion afterwards

gets you water and snacks if you want them

hot water bottle if you’re sore

sometimes draws you a bath

boy really loves you & wants to take care of you 

BODY PART (his favorite body part of his & yours)

JJ loves every single inch of your body

but deep down he’s an ass man

loves to see the round curve of your ass in those tight jeans you wear

and your bikini? 

lets just say JJ has a lot of unwanted boners whenever you’re in a swimsuit

which is often during the summer

you can always count on JJ to pin you against the wall and grab a handful of that perfect ass of yours at least once a day

CUM (anything to do with cum, basically)

JJ thinks your cum tastes good

which is kind of embarrassing when he talks about it too much

sometimes he talks about your cum just to see you get all bashful about it with rosy cheeks

funnily enough JJ thinks his cum is kinda gross though

“ew it got on me!” 

“that’s your cum JJ!” 

he usually cleans it off your right away though

he doesn’t want it to get tacky on your skin

which grosses him out more

DIRTY SECRET (a dirty secret of his)

JJ, for some reason, is embarrassed about the fact that he tends to be a little gentler in bed then people expect

it’s an inside joke among the pogues that JJ is a rough lover

which you discovered is not really true

he can be rough, but normally he isn’t

he’s rough when he gets possessive

like when Rafe and his little group flirt with you to piss JJ off 

you can bet that night JJ will be pounding into you so hard you won’t be able to walk for a few days

JJ can also get rough if he’s angry 

if someone pisses JJ off for any reason you can count on getting thrown around a little

but he doesn’t throw you around too much, he would never hurt you

it’s all consensual though, JJ would never do that if he knew you didn’t want him to

EXPERIENCE (how experienced is he? does he know what he’s doing?)

JJ, much to your dismay, is very experienced while you were very inexperienced

by the time you two had sex the first time he had already been with 4 girls before you

JJ had to teach you everything about sex

he was very sexually ambiguous for a 17 year old 

JJ has never been ashamed of his sexual past, but when he started dating you he did feel a little guilty when he saw how much it bothered you

it only bothered you so much because you were a virgin before JJ

you’ve never been with anybody before JJ, and he’s had a lot of sexual partners 

and you would be lying if you said it didn’t bother you

because it does

a lot 

that’s why JJ doesn’t really bring it up

FAVORITE POSITION (this goes without saying tbh)

any position he gets to fuck you is his favorite position

JJ always says “there’s way too many to pick just one!”  

a personal favorite of yours is when you get to ride him

JJ is always takes the lead when it comes to sex 

so he’s always watching you come undone

and when you ride him you get to see him come undone

and boy is it a beautiful sight

head tossed back against the bed

eyes squeezed shut

little whimpers escaping his clenched teeth

his hands holding your hips tightly to still control the pace

even when you top, JJ needs to be in control somehow

you can’t help but whine whenever you see his bottom lip pulled between his teeth

it truly is an honor to watch JJ cum

GOOFY (is he more serious in the moment? more humorous? etc)

he is both evenly 

most of the time, JJ is goofy 

he hardly even takes day to day life seriously

so most of the time JJ is cracking jokes and trying to make you laugh

and he spends a decent amount of time trying to make you blush

but when JJ gets upset he’s an entirely different person in the bedroom

his jaw is always locked, and his gaze is dark and lustful 

he doesn’t crack any jokes, and doesn’t goof around

if someone made a move on you then JJ is usually pretty pissed off during sex

sometimes he’s gotta remind you who you belong to

HAIR (how well groomed is he? does the carpet match the drapes?)

trimmed a little but honestly JJ isn’t too concerned about it

you don’t care if he upkeeps his pubes or not so neither does he

he does if the bush gets to crazy but other than that he leaves it alone

they’re a shade darker then his hair

so like a dark dark blonde

INTIMACY (how is he during the moment? is he romantic?)

unless he’s angry, JJ is very intimate during sex

before JJ started dating you, he had sex just to get off

he had sex with girls because it felt good

there was no closeness in it, no intimacy

but with you sex is very intimate

it’s never about just getting off

every time he has sex with you 

even when he’s angry and pounding into you 

he’s showing you how much he loves you in the only way he knows best

while it’s true that JJ had a lot of sexual partners before you, none of them really showed JJ what sex could be like

that it could be so fucking good 

because with them it felt good, but nowhere near as good as it feels to have sex with someone you love

JACK OFF (masturbation headcanon)

JJ jacks off a lot more then he used to

because when you’re not in the mood, or if you’re busy then he has to find some way to relieve himself

before you JJ would hit up every one of his booty calls until one of them agreed to come over

but he would never cheat on you so if you turn down sex, JJ waits 

and while he waits he jerks off to satiate him until you’re ready

and he never rushes you because he’s not an asshole

he waits patiently because this sweet boy loves you very much

KINK (one or more of his kinks)

he hasn’t outwardly admitted it but you think JJ has a secret daddy kink

he loves when you do exactly what he says

he loves being in total control

he loves the trust that comes with it, when you physically show him that you trust him enough to do whatever he says without question

it’s comforting to know you trust him not to hurt you

he calls you little girl during sex a lot

which you love

“gonna cum for me little girl?” 

“yes daddy please,” 

it accidentally slipped out. really you didn’t mean to say it

but as soon as you did, JJ groaned softly

and his pace quickened a little

you could tell that he liked that

so you decided to “accidentally” say it more often

LOCATION (favorite places to do the deed)

JJ is a borderline exhibitionist 

he likes the thrill of almost getting caught

but most of the places he chooses to rail you are places that couldn’t be come across accidentally 

JJ can’t bring himself to risk someone else seeing you naked

or worse 

getting fucked

if some other guy saw that beautiful fucked out look on your face when JJ’s driving his cock into you

he’d probably beat the guy to death

so JJ gets his “fucking in public” fix in restrooms or other places with lockable doors

he’d never fuck you out in the open

MOTIVATION (what turns him on?)

e v e r y t h i n g

JJ is horny 92% of the day so anything you do is bound to turn him on

bending over? JJ is popping a boner

your shirt lifts to reveal your midriff? JJ is 100% popping a boner

stripping down to your bikini to get in the water? he’s rock solid before you even get your shorts off

and then he’s looking around to make sure nobody else is watching you strip

there was one time he caught Pope looking when you were getting ready to get in the water and JJ might have punched him

he pulled the punch though, so it didn’t even really leave a bruise

it hurt enough for Pope to never make that mistake again

he literally closes his eyes until he hears you get into the water now, Pope won’t even risk glancing in your direction 

he’s afraid of receiving JJ’s wrath if he’s caught looking again

NO (something he wouldn’t do, his turn offs)

anything that would cause you a lot of pain

he’s comfortable with inflicting you with a little bit of pain like spanking

but anything worse than that and JJ is out

once as a joke you asked JJ if you guys could try ‘blood play’ and JJ freaked out

“I would have to cut you Y/N, no fuckin’ way.” 

“I was just kidding baby.” 

JJ would prefer to make sex exciting in other ways

ways that can’t hurt you

like blindfolding you

using ice or feathers as stimulation

g e n t l e choking 

very gentle

JJ can’t hurt you, he physically won’t feel any joy from it

his dad has hurt him so much that JJ doesn’t like hurting anybody that doesn’t really deserve it

like Rafe, he definitely deserves it

ORAL (preference on giving or receiving, skill, etc)

JJ hates being that stereotypical guy but he really loves when you give him a blow job

you’re just so fucking good at it

when you wrap your lips around him, it literally takes his breath away

when you use your tongue on the underside, JJ feels his insides begin to squirm around

plus he doesn’t mind receiving more than giving too much because he knows how much you love sucking him off

sometimes you beg him to let you suck him off

and of course, JJ always says yes

you’re fucking hungry for his cock, and if you had it your way it would always be in your mouth

but just because JJ likes receiving more than giving doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to go down on you

because JJ is phenomenal at eating you out

some of the most mind blowing orgasms you’ve ever had have been with JJ’s head in between your legs

boy knows what he’s doing in that regard, he just doesn’t do it very often

which doesn’t bother you because he will happily do it if you ask him to

PACE (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc)

depends on his mood, like all things

if he’s in a good mood, his pace is pretty moderate

not too fast but not too slow

if he’s in a really lovey dovey mood then his pace is slow and passionate

long and deep strokes to make sure you feel every inch

if he’s pissed off or jealous then his pace is quick and brutal

harsh snaps of his hips against yours and definite bruises on your hips from him holding you so hard

he always feels bad about the bruises

but you always reassure him and insist you love the bruises

which you do

QUICKIE (his opinions on quickies, how often, etc)

quickies are a pretty normal thing for you two

it’s quickies more often then anything else

a quick fuck in the Chateau’s bathroom before any of the pogues notice you’re gone

quickies in your room when you sneak away from the party because JJ took off his shirt and you decided you desperately needed his cock

it’s rare that you two get to take your time 

but when you can take your time, its some of the best sex you guys have

like it’s so good that it’s worth waiting for

but you’re not complaining too much because any sex you have with JJ is going to be amazing

RISK (is he okay with experimenting? does he take risks?)

yeah he’s okay with moderate risk

if it’s something that could get you in serious trouble then he absolutely won’t do it

if it puts you in a situation 

if it’s something that could hurt you or cause you pain then no he won’t risk it

he cares about your needs and your safety way more than his own

JJ doesn’t care if he gets in trouble and he doesn’t care if he gets hurt

his pain tolerance is really high so he almost never notices if he gets hurt during sex

like if you claw at his back too much and he’s bleeding

actually he loves it when you claw at him, and he loves it even more if you make him bleed

you usually end up looking out for him in the same way he looks out for you

you won’t let him do anything that could end up hurting him

STAMINA (how many rounds can he go for? how long does he last?)

JJ can go for 2-3 rounds before his dick physically will not get hard again

if he had it his way he’d fuck you all night, but he can’t 

which annoys him

boy can fuck you at Earth shattering speeds and hardly break a sweat

he’s got the energy of a hyperactive child when it comes to sex

sadistically that’s one of your favorite things about JJ, that he can fuck you for long periods of time without tiring

it makes sex exciting

TOYS (does he own toys? how much does he use them? on you or him?)

JJ definitely doesn’t own any toys but you do

and when he discovered this, he immediately brought it into your sex life

he loves watching you cum on a vibrator

he has a remote control one that he uses a lot so he can sit at the end of the bed and watch you cum without even touching you

he also got a small one that you sometimes use when other people are around

and JJ will randomly turn it on when you’re having dinner at Kiara’s 

and you can’t make any sound or act weird 

you always see that little smirk on JJ’s face from across the table when he sees you’re close

and he never lets you cum

UNFAIR (how much he likes to tease)

big tease energy

there was one night he was so frustrated that he teased you to tears 

he edged you so much that one thrust and you were cumming around his cock

he’s a tease in day to day life and in the bedroom go figures

but when JJ is trying to show you how much he loves you he never teases

he worships your body and will give you orgasm after orgasm until you’re a shuddering mess

VOLUME (how loud is he? what kinds of sounds he makes, etc)

JJ mostly just groans and swears under his breath

he says he doesn’t want to drown out all of your beautiful sounds with his own moaning

but your favorite is when JJ growls softly in your ear, or when he sucks a harsh breath in through his teeth when you clench around him

you’re the noisy one in bed 

and that’s the way JJ likes it

WILD CARD (random headcanon)

when you first started dating, JJ was actually really evasive about how many partners he’s had before you

he would get really quiet whenever you asked him and would never directly answer the question

until you cornered him in the Chateau, demanding to know how many people he’d been with 

“4...” his voice was soft, and he wouldn’t lift his eyes to meet yours

that was more then you were expecting, but you couldn’t be mad at him

he was single then and had completely cut off every girl he’d ever had sex with the second you two started dating

so you immediately forgave him which was a huge relief for him

X-RAY (let’s see what’s going on under the belt)

JJ is packing

a good 8 inches when he’s fully hard 

and he’s decently thick too

his cock reaches places inside you that make your toes curl 

JJ has never really described himself as someone with a big dick, but once he saw your eyes widen when he first had sex with you

he thought maybe he might be bigger than average

which you love

there’s always a delicious stretch when he first enters you

YEARNING (how high is his sex drive?)

JJ is down to have sex whenever 

he loves having sex with you and has a stupidly high sex drive

he needs sex at least twice a week or he’s going to be grumpy 

so it was sort of an adjustment when he first started dating you

because it was at least a month until he took your virginity

so he was pretty grouchy for that month that he wasn’t having sex

he didn’t mind though because he was dating you and that’s way better than sex

ZZZ (how quickly does he fall asleep afterwards?)

JJ doesn’t fall asleep too quickly after sex

but since he does most of the work during sex, he’s usually pretty tired

but when he lays down with you, he will spend a few minutes talking to you before he falls asleep

he can last a good 10-15 minutes before he’s too tired to keep his eyes open

so you curl into his chest and fall asleep in his arms

heaven :)

#jj maybank smut #jj maybank #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x reader #jj x you #jj smut #outer banks #outer banks smut

[honeypiehotchner]

intelligence & issues (Hotch x Reader) -- chapter eleven

I’m backkkk <33 Enjoy!

Today’s chapter title comes from “Wildest Dreams” by Taylor Swift and honestly? That song is Hotch and Reader’s song tbh

Chapter Warnings: fluff! Crime scene stuffs, case stuffs, and Hotch is an asshole at the end (what’s new?)

Previous chapter || Fic Masterlist

Chapter Eleven: I thought, “Heaven can’t help me now.”

When you wake, you have a strange sense of Deja Vu. Hotch is shaking your shoulder again, only this time, you’re not in your bed.

“We’re landing soon,” he says softly, hand lingering on your shoulder, but you welcome its weight and warmth, forgetting for a moment that the rest of the team is on this jet.

“Mm, okay…” You bring the blanket underneath your chin, only this is when you realize it’s not a blanket.

You tilt your head down to look at the fabric, then lift your eyes back up to see Hotch isn’t wearing his jacket.

His jacket.

Oh my God.

He sees the realization on your face and smiles, but instead of commenting on it, he turns to start waking the others. As expected, Rossi didn’t sleep, but Reid is still quite frankly passed out. Emily, JJ, and Morgan are coming around, though, and upon seeing that, you scramble to get Hotch’s jacket off of you, catching Rossi’s eyes in the process.

“You were cold,” Rossi says with a shrug, and a smirk.

You shouldn’t be mortified, but you are.

After folding Hotch’s jacket over your arm, you wait until your boss is sitting back down to hand it to him with a raised eyebrow. “Thank you,” you whisper.

“You’re welcome,” he says, thinking nothing of it as he shrugs it back over his shoulders. When he sees you’re still looking at him like that, he adds, “You were getting goosebumps. Would you have rather I let you freeze to death?”

Is he making a joke? You wonder, with the corners of his lips tugging upward. You shake your head, saying nothing else.

No wonder you slept so soundly.

+++

Upon arriving at the local police station, you’re all met with the usual: desperate officers who want you to snap your fingers and find the unsub ASAP.

And, they always look pretty displeased when you admit that you need time.

You swear sometimes people think the BAU is made up of sorcerers who can see the future and not regular humans who are just trained to recognize and predict behaviors.

Regardless, they’re happy you’re here.

“I was shocked myself when I made the connection,” Sheriff Ansley says, nodding to the pictures of the other seven victims, with Nathan and Jonathan at the end. “Those others were so spaced out, we just… Oh, it sounds bad, but when you’ve got other problems coming across your desk, they can all blur together.”

“We understand,” you say, trying to be the comforting one here, even though you’re feeling more and more like time doesn’t exist and that you’ve entered a third dimension.

A few hours of sleep and jet lag can really do a person in. Especially with the added stressor of Hotch standing next to you.

“Morgan, L/N, I need you to come to the crime scene with me,” Hotch says, and your eyes widen the moment your name slips from his mouth. Is he trying to mess with you? You figured after covering you up on the jet, he’d make a conscious effort to be as far away from you today as possible. Just because Morgan is also coming along doesn’t mean much. Profilers aren’t dense.

“Prentiss and I will go talk to the victim’s family,” Rossi says, nodding to Emily.

Reid says nothing, too engrossed by the pictures and details tacked up on the board. Though, after a moment, he says, “I need a map of the town. Maybe the region. Yeah...the region.”

A little confused, Sheriff Ansely replies, “We’ll get that for you.”

JJ notices the confusion and says, “I’ve got it, don’t worry.”

With everyone focused, you pile into a vehicle with Hotch and Morgan up front (you purposefully sit in the back) to head to the crime scene. Sheriff Ansley leads in her car, and about two seconds in, you wish you would’ve thought to ride with her.

“You know I have to ask,” Morgan begins, a shit-eating grin on his face as he looks over at Hotch. “What did you get up to last night? Get lucky?”

Hotch looks ready to backhand his fellow agent. “No.”

Morgan keeps going. “Come on, Hotch, it’s about time you get some.”

“For now, I’ll stick to the case.”

Morgan huffs, giving in, which you think is for the better. But when Morgan turns his head to look out the window, Hotch catches your eyes in the rearview mirror.

You sink as far down as you can in your seat, biting the inside of your cheek to hide your smile.

+++

You have no clue what you were expecting when you pictured the outside of Jonathan King’s house, but it wasn’t this.

A few police cars are already here, their men having already gone in to look around, but not touch anything. A few cars look tiny next to the monster that is the mansion you’re looking at.

“I thought this was a small town,” you mutter, closing the car door.

“Jonathan’s daddy was the owner of the only car dealership in town,” Sheriff Ansley explains. “They were big money.”

“I can tell,” you shake your head. “Definitely don’t have houses like this where I’m from.”

The sheriff chuckles. “Yeah. Before they built it, this was a wide open field. Tiny house. Space for all kinds of animals. Had a red barn out there,” she points off to where a gigantic pool complete with a rock waterfall is.

You hum. “A lot changes for the worse sometimes when money comes in.”

She looks at you then, almost like she respects you a little more now. Which isn’t unusual. The sheriffs in small towns don’t exactly like having to call the FBI in for help. Some do it rather begrudgingly. It’s more often than not that you find yourself being the bridge between big city and small town.

“Any signs of forced entry?” Hotch asks the first officer he sees and they shake their head.

“Nothing. But this damn mansion is so big…” He trails away, looking around at it all.

“I understand,” Hotch sighs. “If you find anything, let us know.”

“Hotch,” you speak up, nearly tapping his shoulder, but you quickly pull your hand back. “If this unsub is a woman, then it’s likely there won’t be any forced entry.”

The sheriff nods. “She has a point.”

“How?” Morgan asks, eyebrows furrowed over his sunglasses.

“Seriously?” You deadpan. “Do you want me to demonstrate?”

He catches on, and drawls, “Go right ahead,” prompting you to shove his shoulder.

“Focus,” Hotch scolds. “I hear you. He probably let her in.”

“Did Jonathan have a reputation of being a player?” Morgan asks. “Take a lot of girls out on dates? Get serious with a lot of them but never marriage-serious?”

Sheriff Ansley nearly snorts. “Oh, yeah. He was the town’s bachelor. New woman every week. Swore every single one was The One.”

You nod slowly. “He must’ve picked up the wrong one, then.”

“Evidently so,” she replies quietly, leading the three of you into the house.

Hotch opts for looking around the house with the sheriff while you and Morgan go to Jonathan’s bedroom.

And he’s still lying there. Wonderful.

You nearly gag, but stop yourself. You’re never going to get used to this shit. At least there isn’t blood literally drenching the walls like that other case.

Moving on.

“Looks like it’s the exact same MO,” Morgan comments, idly checking the body for anything the officers might’ve missed.

You dig around on Jonathan’s dresser, drawers, nightstand, everywhere.

“This guy was seriously rich,” you mutter, picking up a few really expensive watches. Upon opening one drawer, you literally find a wad of cash. At least two thousand dollars, stuffed in between pairs of socks. “The unsub didn’t take this?” You hold up the cash to Morgan.

“She must not’ve spent time here,” he concludes. “Doesn’t look like she took any trophies either.”

“I can’t imagine why,” you say, then crack a smile. “So you’re on my side then, huh?”

He turns his head, eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“It’s a woman.”

Morgan chuckles. “Yeah, kiddo. I’m on your side. This has woman all over it.”

“Kiddo,” you groan, tossing the cash back in the drawer. “Any clothes from the unsub lying around? I’m guessing she’s smarter than that.”

“Yeah, there’s nothing,” Morgan says, going into the bathroom. “The window in here is locked tight.”

“I really doubt she forced her way in,” you say. “He probably took her out on a date, brought her inside willingly, and didn’t realize until it was too late that he should not have messed with her.” You pause. “Does this place have security cameras? It looks expensive enough to have them. We should get Garcia to get the footage.”

You’re too busy rambling to see that Morgan has walked back into the room, only this time he’s eyeing you carefully.

You turn your head, raising an eyebrow at him. “What?”

“Listen, I know these guys were…” He gestures rather than saying it.

“Rapists?” You say tiredly, placing your hands on your hips. No need to be afraid of saying the word around you. You’ve heard it plenty and said it yourself more times than you want to. “What about it?”

“I just wanted to say I know how good it can feel to see someone like that taken down,” Morgan says slowly. “And then you feel guilty for feeling good.”

You set your jaw, hating he’s right. You’ve yet to admit it to yourself, though. Isn’t it wrong? On multiple levels? You’re supposed to catch the bad guys, not relate to them so much that you understand why they’re doing this.

“And I know it can also bring up some bad memories, but, I’m here for you,” he says, keeping his eyes on yours. “I mean that.”

“Thanks, Derek,” you whisper. “It does...kinda feel good, but...I know it’s the wrong way to do it.”

“Do what?”

“Make a difference,” you shrug. “If I killed Trevor, I’d be taking the short route. That’s why I’m here. To make a bigger difference.”

He smiles then, gently. “And you’re doin’ it. Trust me.”

You let yourself smile, too. “Thanks. Now let’s get back to work before boss man comes in here telling us to focus,” you mimic Hotch’s voice and tone at the end, making yourself laugh as you turn back around.

And that’s when you have the absolute shit scared out of you because Hotch is standing there, frowning at you. Oh, he totally heard that.

“Sorry, sir,” you murmur, knowing you should apologize while you’re ahead.

Thankfully, to save yourself from embarrassment, Morgan’s phone starts ringing. He pulls it out and puts it on speaker.

“Talk to me, babygirl.”

“All of our other victims? Yeah, they were accused of rape, too. Four of them were acquitted or blatantly dismissed, three of them with such short sentences it probably felt like a vacation.”

You roll your eyes. “Sounds about right.”

Hotch eyes you, but talks to Garcia. “Get us a list of anyone in this region that fits those same criteria.”

“Already done, and it is heading to JJ as we speak.”

Morgan shakes his head at how good she is. “Oh, and check and see if you can get the footage from Jonathan’s security cameras at his house. Y/N thinks he should have some.”

“She’s correct, I just found them,” Garcia says, no doubt through a smile. “I’ll send the footage over and start looking.”

“We should get back to the station and go over those names, see if we can narrow it down at all,” Hotch says. “Hopefully Garcia can get us something from that video.”

+++

Garcia gathers one thing from the video, but it’s not anything to do with facial recognition.

For now, it’s obvious this woman is a strong suspect because she’s the only one seen entering and leaving the house (she walked out right through the front door with her head down) in the window of time that Jonathan was killed. But...

“There’s not a clear shot at all,” Garcia says. “Because they’re… How do I put this? His lips are basically attacking her face and it’s a miracle they made it inside instead of just going at it against the door.”

Morgan snorts out a laugh, Reid (who is working on connecting the nine victims further) goes impossibly red, and Hotch shakes his head.

“Well, we’ve got a physical description now,” Rossi says, trying to see the bright side before Hotch loses it, you’re sure.

“Yeah, but it’s just a young brunette in a dress and heels,” Emily argues. “That’s nowhere near narrow enough.”

“Brown hair is actually the second most common hair color,” Reid supplies. “The most common is black, but they’re usually lumped together in studies. A recent one found that 84% of the world’s population has dark hair. But, of course, women are more likely to color their hair than men—”

“We got it, kid,” Morgan says gently, tapping Reid’s shoulder to get him to slow down.

“So,” you chuckle, “she has dark hair, which are the two most common hair colors.” Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a thought occurs to you. “Wait, can I see the video again?”

Garcia plays it again.

“Pause there,” you point to the woman’s hands. “See how she reaches for his wrist?”

“Where are you going with this?” Morgan asks.

It’s then that it occurs to you just where you’re going with this, and you try to hide your embarrassment.

“You can play it again.” After a few seconds, you get Garcia to pause again. “See? She tries to pin his wrists. She’s dominating. She’s the one in control there. See how his back is against the door, too? He didn’t start that way, she turned them around to get the upper hand.”

“So she’s confident,” Emily ponders.

“In sexual situations, at least,” you add. “Some women who are outwardly shy, but like to dominate in bed. It can be different for everyone.”

“So you’re saying we’re looking for a super quiet, shy woman?”

“Not necessarily. Given that she has had enough confidence to kill these nine men without anyone noticing, I’d be willing to bet she’s pretty confident now. It could be a newfound confidence, or she honestly could have always been this way. A lot of Dominatrixes are pretty confident outside of the bedroom, too. Maybe not in the same way, but they are. Just comes with the territory.”

“A territory you seem to know a lot about,” Morgan teases, poking your shoulder.

You scoff. “You wish.”

But your eyes find Hotch’s and you feel another rush go through you, all the way to your toes. You burn every single time you’re underneath his gaze. Averting your eyes quickly back to the screen, you try to shift in your seat in the least noticeable way.

It’s not like he doesn’t already know. If he seriously doesn’t know or at least have some suspicion, then you might suggest he get a new profession.

Redirecting the attention back to the case, Hotch turns to Sheriff Ansley and says, “We’re ready to give a preliminary profile.”

The team stands to head out to the main area. You and Hotch are the last two left, which you’re sure he did deliberately.

“You should take the lead,” he says, and you swear, your heart falls out of your ass.

“What?” You’ve never taken the lead on a profile in your life. Why would he just spring this on you right now? On this case, of all cases? Seriously?

He doesn’t change his mind. “I trust you to get all of the details right. And we’ll jump in when needed, but I want you to take the lead.”

You’re shaking your head. “Hotch, I haven’t—”

“It’s an order,” he says, voice firm. “Understood?”

“Yes.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Yes what?”

Bastard. He did it again. “Yes sir.”

And your jaw nearly ends up on the floor when he smirks, a quiet, “Good girl,” falling from his lips.

Damn him. Now you’re supposed to give the profile? How bad would it be to let Emily take over so you can jump Hotch in the nearest supply closet?

You never find out how bad it would be because Hotch walks out and thanks the officers for being there, and introduces you, giving you zero time to recover.

“Thank you so much for your patience,” you say first. “The unsub we’re looking for is, in fact, a woman, confirmed by some security footage that was recovered from Jonathan King’s home. She’s a brunette, average height, attractive, and she’s confident. She’s killed nine times and hasn’t been caught yet, so she’s likely to be gaining confidence.”

An officer raises his hand, so you nod to him. “No offense...but your description fits practically every girl in this town -- I guess, besides the killing part.”

“That’s what we figured,” you admit. “Unfortunately, this kind of unsub is the hardest to catch. They don’t stand out at all, they blend right in. It’s partly why they go so long without being caught.”

“But they’re not impossible to catch,” Rossi adds, helping you out with the annoyed officers. “This unsub has already killed twice in a week, which could be a sign that she’s beginning to devolve. When they’re in this state, they are easier to catch because they tend to get reckless and forget things, change patterns, which is what we need.”

“So we need to keep a tight lid on this for now,” JJ says. “The media isn’t going to cover this at all tonight because we need our unsub to believe she’s still getting away with it.”

Another officer pipes up. “If the news isn’t gonna report this, how can we keep people safe?”

It’s a valid question. It’s one that you always get when you decide to not have media coverage.

“Keep an eye out. And don’t take any women home,” Morgan offers.

But that doesn’t seem good enough, because the same officer says, “All due respect, sir, but asking a man not to do that is like asking him not to breathe.”

The amount of laughter and you got that right’s that you hear from the other male officers makes your stomach twist. Morgan’s small laugh makes you want to smack him.

“Well, try to refrain for a while,” you state plainly, bringing the focus back around. “If you can help it.”

Another officer says, “I don’t know if I can…” and clicks his tongue mockingly.

“Well, this unsub targets rapists,” you say loudly, placing emphasis on the word. “So if you aren’t a rapist, consider yourself safe and sound.”

That causes an uncomfortable silence to settle over the room, but you could care less. It should make them uncomfortable. It’s unfair that it’s something women have to just live with. It’s bullshit.

Emily and JJ share a look with you, the only kind women can understand. Makes you want a drink. And it’s not even late afternoon yet.

Rossi helps draw things to a close while Hotch practically stares you down. Not subtle at all. You feel it, and for that reason, you don’t look at him. But he’s hard to ignore.

Especially when he walks over and says, “I need to have a word with you,” and walks past you, giving you no choice but to follow.

Well, you could choose not to follow, but you’re not so sure you want to take your chances there. Not that the thrill of the idea doesn’t get you all excited, but now is not the time or place.

So, with your heart racing and your annoyance showing clearly on your face, you follow your boss to an office at the end of the hall. He’s waiting for you, already inside, and he doesn’t look happy.

What’s new?

He shuts the door behind you, his arms crossing over his chest again.

After a few moments of silence, you raise your eyebrows. “What?”

“Don’t be a brat,” he says sternly, causing your stomach to twist for different reason. “And don’t say what. You know what.”

You shake your head slowly. “I don’t, actually. That’s why I asked.”

He looks ready to absolutely devour you in the worst way possible, yet he doesn’t move. “I understand that after the case in your hometown—”

“God, why does everyone keep bringing that up?” You’re two seconds away from throwing your hands in the air like a child, but you stop yourself after the look he gives you.

“Because it just happened three weeks ago,” he replies, voice even. “And because it took a toll on you. That’s not something to be ashamed of, it’s just a fact.”

“You’ve never been up my ass about cases like this, not until you found out.”

“My knowing has not changed anything,” he says, and you think he might mean it. “And last I checked, this is your first case with a female unsub attacking rapists.”

You could punch him. You really want to punch him. “What’s your point?”

“I need to know that you can be objective,” he says. “I know you relate to our unsub. I know how easy it was for you to put yourself in her shoes. You did it almost immediately. I bet you knew it was a female unsub within the first few seconds of the debriefing.”

He’s right. Dammit. “And?”

“I need you to be on our side of this case.”

“I am!”

“Are you?” He counters. “If you knew who this unsub was, would you turn her in?”

“Are you suggesting—”

“Hypothetically.”

“Yes! For God’s sake, yes, I would turn her in.”

“Are you being honest with me?”

“What is wrong with you today?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest. “If you have something else to say you might as well say it while we’re alone.”

He doesn’t move. Or say a single word.

So much for that.

“Look,” you uncross your arms, tired of fighting already. It’s exhausting on any normal day, but pair it with jet lag and it being between you and the man you obviously care for, and it’s a million times more exhausting. “Yes, I get where this unsub is coming from. Honestly, if it was legal and if there was a market for a job like what she’s doing, I probably would’ve gone into it instead of the FBI. But there isn’t. Because killing people is illegal. So I decided to go to the FBI to make a bigger difference— a real difference. Yes, I relate to the unsub. I get why she’s doing what she’s doing. But just because I get it doesn’t make it right.”

“Good,” he nods. “That’s all I needed to hear.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “I shouldn’t have even had to say it.”

The room falls silent.

Hotch sees it then, that look in your eyes. During the profile, it was all determination and confidence. When you entered the office, it was bratty and defiant. 

Now, it’s hurt.

That’s all he sees. And frankly, that’s all you’re feeling.

Since he doesn’t say anything else, you take it upon yourself to say, “Excuse me,” and join the team in the conference room with only one question on your mind.

Does he not trust me at all?

Next chapter

#intelligence & issues #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch #hotch fanfic #hotch fanfiction #hotch x you #hotch x reader #hotch x y/n #fluff #angst #cm #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner fluff #hotch angst #hotch fluff #why does he have to be such an ASS lmfao #anyway

[fruitless-nonsense]

would you analyze haylijah?

You read my mind (literally I was just thinking about this last night)!

Firstly, I’m sorry how long I took to answer, work was killing me. I also wanna say how appreciative I am that people like you are interacting with me, so thank you!

Okay, so Haylijah! What I take from them is a simple issue that the writers continue to make in to and tvd: beating a dead horse. Confession time! I genuinely liked these two in season one. They were cute, had good chemistry, a connection that wasn’t inherently toxic, and just cause they were paired didn’t mean they were tied to each other (I.e - had different storylines and stuff to do). I also liked how they took their time with it (like I said, they had stuff to do). I mean, I guess Hayley falling for the brother of her baby daddy is a bit weird of a dynamic, but it’s not like Klaus owns her just cause they slept together once. It also helped that I enjoyed both characters at the time. That’s really it, just a surprisingly unproblematic pairing. So what happened? A lot, a lot happened.

In season one, we are introduced to Jackson (who’s his own can of worms, believe me) and is immediately presented as a love interest for Hayley (love triangle oh boy!). It’s not really until season two that Hayley shows signs that she might feel things for the man, and then they have to get married. Couple that with Elijah inexplicably being distant towards Hayley for reasons I can only guess are to raise conflict and nothing else (cause seriously it made no sense). So they sleep together (I don’t know either, guess they patched things up and love each other again. You’ll notice that’s a theme) after Hayley explains that she’s marrying Jackson and they can’t be together. We skip to the wedding and they both have a heart to heart and end their relationship for good. I have to be honest, as a finale to this ship, it was perfect! It wasn’t just Hayley repeating “I’m marrying Jackson for the pack, we can’t do this anymore,” Hayley brought up her issues with Elijah. He’s the kind of guy who isn’t good at showing his feelings (to each their own), and Hayley wants more. She gave her entire heart to Elijah and got barely anything in return. Maybe she doesn’t love Jackson now, but he’s what she wants and perhaps she can learn to. Good scene, good episode, good season. This talk was expanded a bit in the finale when Gia had gone to Elijah, and just when it looks like he’s pushing another person he cares for away he goes back and kisses her (this might be me stretching but I have an overactive imagination). So what happened? It wasn’t over.

Season three had these two interacting a lot more (I mean Hayley didn’t have her own storyline at this point, so it’s unsurprising), and the writers decided to give them this lingering tension as to hang onto the pairing. Now I don’t know about y’all, but at this point in the show I had moved on. Why can’t these two just be friends, why is this still a thing? This is the nature of every scene they share (which is a lot of scenes, Hayley do you have nothing better to do? Wait, I just remembered thanks to the writers you don’t!) until Jackson dies, and suddenly things go from lingering tension to will-they-won’t-they. Now, I don’t have a problem with this trope when done well, but the problem is this is less of potential and more dunking it in the water and taking it back out over and over. These two were together, but now it’s over, wait never mind it’s not over but we can’t be together, now the obstacle keeping us apart is gone we can do this, but I have to respect his memory, wait never mind let’s do this. It’s not even exhausting, it’s just boring. This is all during season three! They finally hook up again after Elijah tells her he murdered Marcel and Hayley just doesn’t react. Who cares that the man who saved her as a baby and has done everything in his power to protect her and her daughter was killed by this man? Hayley needs to assuage Elijah’s man-pain. Then she has the audacity to demand Klaus forgive him, and when he addresses the irony she just ignores him. This is the moment it got through my head that Hayley was no longer a character, and was just a puppet for the writers, but tbh it happened way earlier than that. The season ends with the fate of the Mikaelson’s falling on Hayley. Does this mean Hayley gets her own storyline again in season four? You see where I’m getting with this.

We get the first episode’s A plot starring Hayley exclusively as she fights to save them, and it was actually pretty fun, especially when she went into wolf form to tear apart some vampires. Unfortunately it doesn’t last long as she reunites with Elijah immediately. Okay, so at this point Elijah is dead to me and Hayley has ceased to be a real character. Outcome, they’re together now and I couldn’t care less. I could say it’s infuriating that Hayley doesn’t care that Elijah contemplated killing a bunch of children no older than Hope or actually killed four innocent teenagers for the harvest ritual (she does bring them up with him, but it’s always in a scolding manner that doesn’t affect how she feels about him), but what he does to her in the necklace is what makes her believe he’s not safe to be around Hope. Okay. Not much outside of this, they end things again shortly after he returns from the dead (another cliche that y’all keep doing!) The finale has them separated by the hollow and Elijah’s amnesia. So how are they gonna bring this back for season five? It’s much worse than that.

So season five skips to seven years later, and they both appear to have moved on with respective partners. Declan is boring (more of a Matt clone than people keep insisting Cami was) and Antoinette is interesting but also problematic, not that either of these people matter. They’re only plot devices (another female character who doesn’t get to be a character? Nice one guys!) to put a wrench in Haylijah despite Elijah’s amnesia already doing the job just fine. Surprisingly their relationship isn’t relevant at all for a good few episodes (mostly due to Hayley being missing. And then, he kills her. You know what I’m talking about. X character being responsible for loved ones death while they don’t remember said loved one cliche. Remember when this ship wasn’t inherently toxic? Tbh it hasn’t been harmless in a while. So we get stoic Elijah, and the others trying so desperately to make him and to the extension me believe that him and Hayley were this unbreakable love story for the ages, when in reality their relationship was a hot-and-cold nightmare. Take notes, if you’re gonna do a slow burn, don’t get them together and break them up over and over again unless you’re planning to spice up the relationship in some way every time. Because I lost interest so early, and I don’t think I’m the only one. So once Elijah gets his memory back his story arc is over for the season and he spends the remainder moping around (we could have gotten an entire story between him and Hope instead of one episode and a scene in another). He almost doesn’t go to his own sister’s wedding cause he’s man-paining too hard. Finally, he decides last minute to undercut Klaus’ self sacrificing so they could die together (cause who needs actual growth between these two?). It is speculated that Elijah reunites with Hayley in the afterlife and they live happily ever after (I say speculated because we didn’t get to see their afterlife even though we saw Hayley and Josh’s?).

So what is there to learn from this? Elijah was an interesting character who’s arc inverted Klaus in a clever kind of way, but would not stop hanging on Hayley. And Hayley herself is yet another female in this show who’s agency and character is stripped away to service the man. The main problem with this couple is how repetitive and predictable their story became. Unlike kolvina their beginning had promise, but they never grew from there, they only shrank.

#anti haylijah #I was pro it in the beginning #hayley marshall #elijah mikaelson #the originals #klaus mikaelson #marcel gerard #hope mikaelson #freya mikaelson #anti to writers #female character assassination

[spidernerdsblog]

Wedding Shenanigans

A/N : Not me using my cousin's wedding as a plot for my fic. This has been sitting in my drafts for a while really didn’t have the nerve to post it. I’m still nervous tbh. Please don’t hate me if it’s bad my over dramatic ass just went a little overboard.

Pairing : Tom Holland x Indian! Reader

Summary : you are back home for your best friend’s wedding and Tom decides to accompany you.

Warnings : just over dramatic crap, sexual innuendos

Mini Playlist : Aa toh sahi, First kiss

(Note- As our country has a vast diversity of languages the italicized dialogues represents whatever native language you speak. I didn’t want to emphasize on a particular language.)

"You sure you wanna tag along?" you try to confirm with him again.

"Yeah I have never attended an Indian wedding before. Moreover I should have an experience you know for future just like Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra our grand wedding" he chirped. 

"We will be staying at my parent’s house so no room sharing with me" 

"What? Not again! But why can't I share a room? I mean your parents do know that we live together" 

"Yeah but that's India honey, no sleeping together before marriage" 

"I have to sleep all alone at night without you that's not fair" He whined.

"You can share a room with my dad then" you suggested.

"What? No not your dad" he gave a mortified look. 

"Why what’s wrong?'' you let out an airy laugh.

"I’m really scared of him" you chuckled at his confession

"What? Don’t laugh at me, he really intimidates me" 

"Well he is the only person who will decide to give my hand to you or not, so man up baby" 

"And it's just for one night then we will go to the resort where the wedding will take place. And there hopefully we can share a room or you can share a room with Rahul or the other guys. I'll talk to them about it.

"Not that chump!" he immediately protested.

"What is with you and him?" you chuckle.

"When the person is a potential candidate to steal your girl you have to be a little defensive" 

"God how many times do I need to tell you that we never had anything between us, he’s just my childhood friend." 

"You may not have but I have noticed the last time we went to visit your parents he is always trying to woo you and moreover you parents like him too" he grumbled.

"Aww someone is jealous" 

"I’m spiderman. Why would I be jealous? He says defensively, you smirk.

"Ok spiderman pack your things quickly"

You flew back to India the next day, you stayed the night at your parents house before leaving for the resort to attend your best friend’s wedding.

''Y/N!!" Your best friend squealed in excitement as she eagerly hugged you.

"Missed you so much. 

"Me too babe. Can’t believe you’re getting married. When did we grow so big?" you pout.

"Hey Y/N" 

"Hi Rahul. Missed you so much bro" you hugged him.

"Hey darling let's go to our room shall we? You must be tired" Tom eavesdropped in your conversation.

''Yeah I'm a little"

"Hey man how are you?" Rahul asked.

"I’m good, mate. Will talk to you later."

"Yeah sure, go take some rest" Tom literally dragged you away from him.

"What was that?" you frowned.

"Nothing" He said. You chuckled, shaking your head at your boyfriend’s possessive attitude.

After settling down in your room you went to freshen up. You stepped out of the bathroom drying your with a towel as you informed Tom.

"Okay so tomorrow is haldi" 

"What’s that?" 

"Well it's a ritual where we apply turmeric paste to both bride and groom, it is said turmeric improves your skin tone. I know it sounds stupid but age old custom so can’t be changed" you continued. 

"So don’t wear something expensive as the turmeric stain will be hard to remove. You will be with the guys I have told Rahul everything so you will not have any problem'' he rolls his eyes. 

"And please don't end up killing him''

The next morning after the puja was completed your best friend was made to sit on a seat decorated with flowers. As all the married women applied turmeric to her blessing her for a happy married life. Then came all of your turn. And you guys didn't leave a spot, painting her completely yellow. 

"Y/N come here let me apply some turmeric so that next will be your turn" a woman offered.

"No thanks I'm fine" you dodged her somehow. 

You went back to your room to change, Tom returned as well.

"You guys played quite a holi I see" you comment seeing his face and kurta painted yellow.

"Yeah but why didn’t you put that?

"I'll only apply only when it has been touched by my husband on my wedding day"

"Well I can help you with that" he backed you up against the wall caging you and slowly leaned down. You felt butterflies in your stomach as his face inched closer to yours, you thought he was going for a kiss as you parted your lips instead he tilted to the side brushing his cheek to yours and he did the same thing with your other cheek. 

"There you go" he maneuvered you to face the mirror and you saw turmeric paste on your cheeks. 

"Tom! Seriously? I thought-" you huff

"What did you think darling?" He whispers with  a sultry voice.

"Nothing!" 

"Someone is horny" He chuckles.

"Shut up you dickhead!" you snapped.

"But weren't you thinking about my dick in the first place?" He teases to annoy you even more.

"Ugh!! you know what Rahul is much better than you!" saying so you ran inside the bathroom shutting the door. 

"What? What did you say?" he heard your giggles from inside. 

Later in the day you were in the community hall of the resort with your friends discussing your dance performances.

"Guys we can’t let the groom’s side win do you get that?" you state.

"Chill Y/N we are gonna set the stage on fire" 

"So what songs are we gonna perform? And please no bole chudiyan" you quip.

"Dilli wali girlfriend?" one of them suggested.

"Yeah that will definitely be kept for the end other than that?" 

"Cutipie?" 

"Nah" 

"Deedar de? Odhani? Sawan mein lag gayi aag?" Everyone suggested in a chorus, someone even suggested ooh la la.” you facepalmed at the chaos. 

"Guys are you planning to seduce those pot bellied bald uncles and middle aged judgemental aunties over there?" everyone went silent as you continued

"No right? So please something sober and fun. These songs can be played in the after party when the main event is over" 

"Morni banke?" someone suggested.

"See now you’re getting it" After a lot of discussion finally you all agreed on some songs and started to choreograph the dance steps. Your eyes went to your boyfriend whom you had completely forgotten in the middle of this.

"You’re getting bored right? I’m so sorry babe this why I said you should pass this one out" 

"Hey no I’m fine plus I kind of figured out a little of your conversation, you are talking of some kind of dance competition" 

"Wow you are improving I’m so proud of you. And yes you’re right tomorrow we have sangeet at night and it’s a dance off bride vs groom and we are gonna smash them" 

"Oh you will, darling. How much of an aggressive competitor you’re no one knows better than me" He chuckles.

"Hey! I’m not aggressive" you protest.

"Do I need to remind you of the one time you were literally about to throw the controller at the tv screen after you lost a match of fortnite?" 

"Okay in my defense you cheated" you narrowed your eyes.

"No I didn't," He says haughtily.

"Yes you did, you distracted me-" you argue back.

"What did I do baby?" His voice was low as you remembered about the distraction he caused.

"Uh never mind" you stutter all flustered.

"Hey Y/N c’mon let’s practise" Rahul called you.

"What’s he gonna do?" Tom frowned.

"He’s my dance partner, I would have asked you but you don’t understand the lyrics well so"

"Yeah yeah I get it, now go" He said rolling his eyes.

You began to practice the dance for the sangeet it went on for sometime. But later everyone got bored to dancing to the same song so random songs were played

Sun baby deadly hai teri walk ni

Tere thumke bhi karte hai talk ni 

Ho dil kare dekhi jaun teri ore

Tu nazre mila toh sahi

Dil diya hai jaan bhi tujhe denge

Tu ik vaari aa toh sahi

Dil diya hai jaan bhi tujhe denge

Tu nazre mila toh sahi

Tu ik vari aa to sahi

You started to move your hips sensually as Rahul joined you too. His hands went to wrap around your waist which made Tom uncomfortable as his face tensed up. You were laughing and giggling unaware of Tom watching you with a pointed look as you both were getting too close to his liking. You looked over your shoulder to find a very displeased Tom. An idea crossed your mind as you waltzed your way to him.

Kab mummy daddy mere tu patayega

Leke band baja ghar mere aayegaKab tak mujhe aise hi ghumayega

Tu baat badha to sahi

Dil diya hai jaan bhi tujhe denge

Tu ik vaari aa toh sahi

Dil diya hai jaan bhi tujhe denge

Tu nazre mila toh sahi

Tu ik vari aa to sahi

Grabbing his hand you pulled him to the center your friends hooted and whistled. You began to dance around him and nudge his shoulder playfully before lacing your hands around his neck pulling him closer to you. You turn around your back pressed against his broad chest as you take his hands and place them around your waist and continue to sway against each other.

............

Next day your best friend was sitting in the courtyard surrounded by all the ladies. The mehendi artist drew beautiful and intricate patterns on her hand with the henna.

You and your girl gang got ready to perform for the occasion as the song ‘mehndi hai rachne wali’ started to play in the background. You all danced to the song gracefully. After the performance you all also got your mehendi done.

"Tom! Tom! Where is my food?!" You yell sitting on your bed with wet henna on your hands.

"Wait a minute my hungry devil" Tom comes with your plate of food.

"Seriously you just can’t wait for a few minutes" He huffs sitting next to you.

"I’m so lucky to have such a sweet and caring boyfriend" you gush. 

"Yeah yeah, now open your mouth" You do as he says. He brings the spoon near your mouth to pull it away immediately and eat the food himself.

"Tom!" You protest, he stifles a laugh. This is a nice punishment for you now cannot work your hands.

"Yeah very funny, don’t talk to me" You turn your face away from him annoyed.

"Hey I’m sorry, here take" He holds the spoon in front of you as you open your mouth to eat but that little fucker does it again going into a fit of laughter.

"You!!" You lift your hands to hit him.

"Ah, ah love don’t think of it or your artwork will only get ruined" He chuckles as you huff in defeat.

"Okay now c’mon, this time no pranks I promise" You frowned at him still dubious but this time he finally fed you. 

"You know they write the name or initial of your husband in this. I made the lady write your initial, think you can find it?" you looked at him with a  playful expression. 

"Is that a challenge, love?" 

"Well maybe" you shrug. 

"Then I fucking accept it!" He gets on to search through the intricate patterns drawn on your hand but soon he realized it was hard than he thought as he frowned.

"Don’t worry baby you have the whole day, you’ll find it eventually I suppose" You snicker.

Later in the evening the sangeet ceremony took place and as expected you guys won the dance off. After all the elders and children were done having their dinner and retreated to their rooms, the younger lot of you as decided earlier had your own kind of mini bachelor’s party with everyone ending up drunk. The boys were dancing on to some peppy bollywood item number, later you and your girlfriends took the stage as the music continued to play.

Ae Yo, Ae Yo

Seene Se Laga Ke Baahon Mein

Mujhe Le Lo

Jaldi Hai Kaisi

I Like It Nice And Slow

Your body swayed sensually as the guys hollered and cheered you girls with a few whistles.

Meri Heart Beat Fast

Aur Sab Lage Mujhe Slo-mo

Mujhe Slow-mo

I Want You Right Now

I Need You Right Now Come

You stretched your hand pointing your finger directly to your boyfriend motioning him to get up and come to you. He obliged with a smirk plastered on his face and strided towards you.

Hassa Hassa Ke Gaya Fasa

Tu Toh Dil Mera

Nasha Nasha Tera Chadha Nasha

Jab Dekha Chehra Tera

Meri Life Mein Yun Kar Gaya Kyun

Har Din Love Wala Season Tu

What You Gonna Do?

Jo Main Keh Du

Meri Heart Beat Ka Reason Tu

His hands rested on your hips as he knelt down to ear and whispered

"You really do like it nice and slow don’t you love?" you elbowed him playfully.

‘‘Fuck off!!’’

‘‘Ow!’’ He groaned chuckling.

…….

It was your bestie's big day as you were getting ready for it putting on your saree.

"Tom can you help me with the pleats of my saree please" 

"Sure darling" He squats down to gather the silky material of your saree, you smoothen the pleats as he holds them in place.

"Thanks hun" You tuck in the pleats inside your underskirt securing them with a pin.

"Anytime sweetheart" He stands up on his feet smiling.

You went on to do your makeup and were busy putting on your jhumkas when Tom’s eyes went to your reflection in the mirror. And boy he was mesmerised, you looked unearthly. He slowly walked to you resting his chin on your shoulder, his arms wrapping around your waist, the sweet scent of the jasmine flowers pinned to your hair intoxicating his senses.

"You look so gorgeous, darling." 

"Well thank you, love. You look no less handsome either" And it was so true he actually looked like a snack in that designer kurta. You turned to face him gazing into his soft brown eyes. There was a certain kind of flicker in his eyes which you knew all too well though you were tempted to give in but attending your best friend’s wedding was also important so you brought your hands in front of his face and shook your bangles the jingling  sound broke him out of his trance as he shook his head, blinking his eyes owlishly.

"Now who’s horny huh?" You teased.

"Shut up!" His face turned red all flustered.

"Aww it’s ok baby boy" You tease him even more.

"You’re so in for it later, Y/N" He warns playfully.

"Will see" You winked mischievously "Now c’mon let’s go" you walked out hand in hand towards the dias where the wedding nuptials were to be performed but had to stop on your tracks when you saw a group of aunties coming your way.

"Oh no! Aunties incoming just smile and greet them" You direct Tom warily.

"Do I need to touch their feet?" He asks nervously as you frown.

"No! That’s too much respect they deserve" 

"Y/N how are you?" One of them asked. "You’ve grown so big! You remember me right?" Another lady badgered you with more questions.

"I’m fine, how are you all?" You gave a broad smile as you yourself were confused who the hell they are.

"Everything is going fine for us. So happy Y/F/N is finally going to happily settle in her life, so when is your turn huh?" You gave a tight lipped smile having no clue what to answer.

"You know my sister’s son is in the government sector, a really nice boy and earns a very handsome salary you know if you want-" you cut her off immediately.

"Umm aunty, meet my boyfriend Tom" 

"Hello'' Tom greets them timidly.

"Oh hello-’’ she looked at him with a judgy face okay you kids enjoy then, let me see if anything is needed there or not" 

"Yeah sure" 

"What was she saying?" Tom asked curiously.

"Nothing just trying to set me up with one of her relative’s weird nerdy son" 

"What the-!!" 

"Relax she got her answer which is a clear no. Now let’s go and see the wedding" You went near the dais and observed all the rituals take place one by one. It was the time for walking around the fire for seven times as your best friend and her husband stood up and started revolving around the fire while you showered flowers on them along with everyone.

"Why are they circling around the fire?" 

"It’s quite similar to exchanging vows you see, the bride and groom promise each other to be together for seven lifetimes with the sacred fire as witness" you explained, Tom nods his head in understanding when something went through his mind.

"Y/N let’s get married" Tom says out of nowhere taking you by surprise.

"What?" You chuckle lightly.

"I'm serious Y/N, let's just get married like right now. I mean everything is set, you are dressed no less than a bride and I’m looking handsome as hell and we have a priest right there" 

"Ok Tom, I totally get what you’re saying. But honey, I don’t see a ring" you showed him your empty ring finger scrunching your face.

..............................................................................

Tagging some desi peeps I know here

@peaches-parker​ @parkerpeterparker2004​  @lokibuckylove6​ @calltothewild​

@mischiefmanaged011​ @parker--peter​ @starlight-starks

sorry if I bothered you.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland x reader #tom holland one shot #desi tumblr

[chailoserr]

𝗗𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗙𝘆𝗼𝗱𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗰𝘀

• So this partnership would be expected to be scary and badass, but no

• You guys are more like pinky and the brain, and tbh he can’t really remember why you’re his number two

• You’re always proposing some grand scheme that makes zero sense

• “Fyo, we should steal a panda”

• And he’s just like “Wtf, dude, we’re literally trying to achieve world domination, a panda can wait”

• “If you were really god then you would get me a panda!”

• He isn’t fooled by your tricks and doesn’t get you the panda😔

• You’re not the sharpest shank in the jail cell, but you make up for it in loyalty and enthusiasm

• Even if some of your plans are WAY out of proportion, you still put in a lot of heart and effort into your plans, like drawing cute diagrams or making really pretty notes

• You prolly have a little diary labeled ‘rat god and friends’ guide to world domination!’ and it has like a doodle of you two holding hands on top of the world while it’s on fire

• You also daddy up and get this man to wash the lice from his hair and seriously take actual fucking care of himself, boy has a serious iron deficiency

• WHEN YOU FIND OUT HE PLAYS THE CELLO YOUR BRAIN SHORT CIRCUITS AND YOU SAY “i pLaY tHe cElLo” AND BEGIN TO SING ‘STICK TO THE STATUS QUO’ FROM HSM

• He’ll play the cello for you and when you aren’t laughing or saying “oh S A W” it’s actually very nice

• And that’s when, *gasp*, FEELINGS HAPPEN??

• W o a h, feelings? Before marriage? That’s so rude

• But you can’t help it, you’re just kinda smitten with your boss, though you could n e v e r tell him how you feel

• It isn’t even because you’re scared of rejection or anything, you just think it’s wrong because you’ve acknowledged that your relationship is like pinky and the brain, and the idea of pinky and the brain being together is just N O

• So you bury your feelings and try to be as platonic as possible, no romance, no feelings, nada

• Until, oh no, he’s b l e e d i n g out now

• WHAT DO YOU DO?? DO YOU PROFESS YOUR LOVE FOR HIM?!

• N a h, you just kind of kneel over him trying to stop the blood and trying not to spill your guts so you’re just like

• “H a, hey dude, you sure are b l e e d i n g an awful lot, awe shucks!”

• You laugh awkwardly and slap your knee and he’s just looking at you with a straight face

• Truth is: he always knew how you felt, he was just wondering why you were being so fucking weird about it

• So after he’s all taken care of, he confronts you about it and you tell him everything

• He’s so lost because he has no clue what the fuck a pinky and the brain is, but nevertheless, it doesn’t matter because he thinks you’re pretty rad😎

• Undying loyalty? Check. Enthusiasm and ambition? Check. Dumbass that keeps a diary on your evil plans? Box. Checked.

• So after a LOT of convincing on his part, you two are officially together

• Slow dancing? Y e s

• You run your hands through his hair while he uses your chest as a pillow

• And you recite to him “Imagine we were both lice on the same head, sharing the same dandruff for dinner every night and laying eggs together and grow our lil lice family while we kiss with our lice tongues”

• He doesn’t understand your love language, but it’s okay

• Bruh, nose kithes, like when you rub the tippy tips of the noses and put your foreheads together, soft shit like that☺️

• In conclusion: very dumb, but very smoft, we do love a stupid hoemance

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bsd x reader #bsd headcanons #bsd fyodor

[sukunasun]

the way u write nanami and geto… perfect

ur such a huge inspiration! i really adore all of ur works!! farmhand nanami… absolutely love <3 and dad geto… ur chubby reader x nanami… and chubby reader x geto... literally everything. i am broken

i always look forward to seeing u on my tl i am truly obsessed with ur writing! the way u characterize everyone is so perfect but seriously nanami and geto really get me… aside from them being my favorites… just so good

not to be sappy or whatever but u helped me really enjoy writing again i am endlessly thankful! when i’m in a rut i like to go back and read my favorite works and so many of them are urs hehh anyway sorry this is kinda long and pretty icky i just thought it was finally time i send my appreciation <3 thank u!!!

oh wow...

i don't know what to say really, i'm at such a loss for words, this message made me tear up a little. thank you for reaching out and for the kindness you have shown here with your words, i will cherish them so. and to hear that you have found the joy in writing again! how wonderful, i am so happy for you and so, so honoured to have inspired you, it means so much to me 💛

in regards to characterization, i noticed most enjoy this about my writing and i don't actually know what it is, maybe i make them very realistic or very accurately depicted and also somewhat specifically suited to a 'type' of man people look for. geto's like the only character i really wanted to explore because of how complex he is, and even when he's replicated throughout different aus, what exactly is at his core? what are the primary parts of him that stay—what is considered 'geto'-esque? it's probably one of the hardest things for me to achieve. (sidenote on that chubby reader fic, it was just indulgent tbh, i always try to write for the audience, especially chubby readers but that fic about geto being obsessed with her was purely just for me. at that point, i told myself that if no one reads it, it wouldn't even matter because it was for my own two eyes)

and here's the thing about nanami—he isn't one-note. in fact, he's the most realistic character to me because of 1) the life he's lived 2) how his experiences have shaped his reactions, principles, beliefs, and 3) what that would mean in the event of being in a romantic relationship with him. so yes, he's overworked, jaded, not as loud or chaotic as the people around him, but he's also gotta be more than that ya know. like i am a hundred percent certain he would be all these things; a loyal farmhand, a handy househusband, a sugar daddy, a professor, and all the other versions of him, but i want to read about his flaws and his fears and these little things.

in that chubby reader fic, it was more important to me to shine a light on miscommunication and how fragile a relationship becomes when feelings aren't shared and two people are left to believe their own assumptions and doubts instead. as well as how we all have this ideal version of someone built up in our heads when the reality, however, is so very different.

#i cant choose a fave out of all the getos ive written...i think abt all of them...all the time... #also i think that nanami chubby reader fic is probs on the top ten list of my favs like i just like reading abt nanami NOT being perfect #ask #sunbeam

[barnabasthebarmy]

im going to shit on all the hp protagonists lmao

harry:

- biggest martyr complex ever

- thinks he’s the only one that’s allowed to be in danger and makes every single fucking thing about him

- always feeling guilty and shit

- stubborn as fuck

- zero sense of self preservation and terrible at thinking things through

ron:

- insecure, jealous, tactless, lazy

- the whole thing with “i’d rather ho alone than with eloise midgen” was a No. also the lavender situation. also fleur. this man just doesn’t know how to be with a woman.

hermione:

- fussy and frigid

- “oh my god i definitely failed!!! oh wait i got an outstanding? i mean, i guess i did alright...”

- literally worships dumbledore

- so self righteousness. can’t admit she’s wrong. looks down on luna and doesn’t take harry’s theories seriously (ex: draco and the hallows)

ginny:

- exclusion issues (middle child complex on the youngest child. seriously this bitch was the youngest and only daughter but still needed more attention lmfao)

- low key rude and very quick to insult/hex someone

- was a bitch to fleur

- ok we get it !! you’re a tomboy and not like other girls !! jesus christ

molly:

- coddling, CONTROLLING AS FUCK, overbearing

- bad temper and can’t take a joke

- cares too much about grades, rules, and authority

- was such a BITCH to sirius oh my god i absolutely hate her for that and it was all because she wanted harry for herself like ?? girl. again: see “overbearing”

- and misogynistic. she wouldn’t let ginny ride a broom and always gave her the more “feminine” chores ?? not to mention that whole thing with not accepting bill’s decision to marry fleur

authur:

- pushover

neville:

- inferiority complex

luna:

- kind of a pain to have a serious conversation with tbh

hagrid:

- this son of a bitch got into so much shit because of his absolute incompetence. he made three eleven year olds BREAK THE LAW to take care of HIS OWN PROBLEM (the dragon) and when they got in trouble and became literal OUTCASTS he DIDNT EVEN SAY SORRY???? then he consistently left more of his own issues for harry&co to fix because he just can’t do anything on his own (aragog, buckbeak, gwarp, etc)

- a child. always bursts out crying randomly and doesn’t have any common sense. he’s so dumb it’s exhausting.

lily:

- bad judgement of character in the beginning when she was friends with snape lmao and her stubbornness made her stick with him even though he was a racist little shit

- self righteous and hypocritical (depends on fic you read)

sirius:

- reckless, impulsive, stubborn, arrogant

- tries too hard at not trying (or he’s just effortlessly cool)

- we get it you have major mommy and daddy issues !

- the prank.. yeah.

james:

- same shit as sirius

- arrogant toe rag who’s always messing up his hair and showing off with his stupid snitch :)

- prejudiced against slytherins

- (ok he bullied snape. but that’s not a flaw. it just makes james more perfect bc FUCK SNAPE)

remus:

- literally scared of happiness (when he left tonks after she got pregnant... no)

- i’m still mad at him for thinking sirius could betray james?? but that’s mostly just rowling’s bad writing so

i’m not counting dumbledore or snape as protagonists and i have WAY too much shit to say about them so they’re not in this post. fuck dumbledore. and fuck snape. (also fuck draco malfoy, who’s obviously an antagonist and not in this post either)

#sorry not sorry #hp #marauders #harry potter #james potter #ron weasley #hermione granger #molly weasley #arthur weasley #sirius black #remus lupin #anti molly weasley #anti hagrid #ginny weasley #neville longbottom #luna lovegood #golden trio #pro james potter

[hopekiedokie]

Mall is Life | INTRO : She’s Broke, He’s Broke, We’re All Broke!

Summary: Your dad thinks it’s best for you to pay off the credit card that you just maxed out. Meaning, it’s time for you to finally get your very first job…at the mall. As a true blue spoiled daughter from a very rich family, what could possibly happen? Form a labour union and overthrow the oppressive government with 7 other underpaid and overworked guys??? Or maybe just form a bond with them and have the best time of your life?

Pairing: bts x reader

Genre: mall!au, lowkey a sitcom, fluff, eventual angst, and a whole lot of pure crack

Word count: 5.3k+

Notes: As I’m doing final rewrites for this, I overheard my co-teacher call one of our students a “crack” and I honestly have never related hard to a student. Anyways, transferring this from gdocs to tumblr took sooooo long. I literally aged 10 years. I didn’t think writing in this style would be such a pain so I really do hope you enjoy this! Keep safe and hang on while the world still seems like it’s on its way to destruction.

Posted on: 8th of Jan, 2021

— • masterlist | Character Guide | INTRO | next • —

Red

Red is all you see.

Your vision has been clouded by the colour red since the moment you stepped inside the mall.

Sale season is upon you and red tags are everywhere!

Buy one get one for a girlfriend sized “boyfriend t-shirt”, a free cookie if you get 7 drinks, 5% off on your next purchase from Kucci and… Gasp! 75% off for a light sabre handheld immersion blender???

Do you even cook or watch Star Trek or whatever it’s called? Heck no.

bUT IT’S MORE THAN HALF OFF and it looks cool so might as well get it.

Right?

You saunter off towards the sights of free or marked down signs to start making damages.

“Ehem.”

The sound of your best friend, Taehyung��s voice, freezes you in place and you feel like a kid caught in the act of stealing a candy.

Literally, you have both your hands in front of you with your mouth open and watering.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” His hands are placed on his hips, like a slightly inconvenienced Karen.

“Oh, uh...I was just, you know!? About to admire the general splendour!”

He was like, ya right sweetie.

“Shut up. This isn’t a Jane Austen book.”

Well, one can dream.

And lowkey, you were kinda expecting him to not get the reference.

…or even understand what you just said.

Damn.

You really need to give Taehyung some credit.

He is after all, your best friend and that is an achievement in itself.

“Focus, y/n. FOCUS. We’re here on a mission, don’t get distracted.”

Ugh, right.

Reality hit you again like a ton of bricks.

“And as if you can afford anything! Unless, you’re in for some service water.”

You scoff hard.

Though he isn’t lying.

See, the thing is, your family is rich.

Like rich 𝑹𝑰𝑪𝑯.

Like “rent a whole stadium for your dad’s morning run” rich

You, alone, though?

ʰᵉ ʰᵉ ʰᵉ

“Sorry, you’re absolutely right. We’re here for one thing only and that is to find a job! We’re not leaving until we get one.”

And that’s what you did for the next two hours

Job hunting

You might be wondering, “If we're so rich then why are we looking for a job?”

Well kids, let me tell you a quick story.

Here’s what happened

A week ago, you had probably the most embarrassing yet most eye opening experience of your life.

You were shopping

(like duh do you have anything else to do?)

And your credit card got…

Wait for it…

…………….

🚫DECLINED🚫

◉.◉

Like, that can happen????

Next thing you know, you’re on the phone with your dad and he is MAD

You don’t even know why he is so pressed about it.

Okay, so you maxed out one of his seemingly endless supply of credit cards.

BIG DEAL.

It’s not like he lost a bunch of money.

Maybe to a normal person, yeah…

BUT to you guys?

Come on! He can earn that money back in like two days.

Besides, he always goes on saying that he'd willingly give everything for you, his one and only princess.

bUT NOoOOoo! He has to teach you to be rEsPoNsIbLe with money! You need to be a 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏.

"What? You think I'm a money making machine here?"

Well, tbh he kinda is.

"You think money grows on trees?"

Well, technically, money is paper so...ya it kinda does.

"I don't slave around just so you could plunge yourself in all of your whims!"

Uh, actually.

You kinda do though if we refer back to your whole willingly-give-everything-to-you shtick.

So that wasn't real, huh?

ＡＬＬ ＭＥＮ ＤＯ ＩＳ ＬＩＥ.

smh

Taehyung, on the other hand...

Well, his mother’s old but rich sugar daddy just recently passed away and unfortunately all his money and prized possessions were inherited by his one and only beloved son.

All they got was a couple of stupid jewelry, which did allow them to pay for a new (less glamorous) apartment, but still

Eh.

What a complete disappointment.

11+ years of being a sugar baby, all for nothing.

So now it’s back to the slums for the both of them.

Sad reacs for a fallen warrior.

I’m talking about Tae’s mother, not the sugar daddy...

THOUGh rip for him. Uh,,,,

He’ll be missed? I guess???

(1 like of this post = 1 respect for him)

DW about his mother though. She doesn’t seem quite fazed by it.

“This is why if you find a rich old bastard, make sure he doesn’t have any kids. That or have an affair with their kid. Oh well, on to the next one.” She told you and Tae during the funeral.

It’s been three months since.

She’s currently working at a hair salon and also,,,,

Taehyung thinks she’s seeing someone again cause she’s been using her designated “𝑠𝑒𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔” parfum.

WHICH you still don’t know if you should be impressed or be concerned about.

Nonetheless, you respect the hustle of this woman. ✊✊✊✊

Unfortunately, her efforts are still not enough to satisfy their expensive needs so that brings us to the present situation.

Actually, it couldn’t have been more perfect though!

You and your best friend coincidentally just happen to be in the same dilemma.

Kind of

Well, not really

Plus, it’s not really the most pleasant circumstance bUT STILL

The point is, you’re in this together and that’s enough for the both of you.

:’)

“Ugh, this totally blows.” Taehyung says as you both sit on one of the food court booths.

“Which one, us not getting any jobs yet or the fact that we’re hanging at the food court?”

“Get used to it, princess. Honestly, you'll find that the food here isn't as disgusting as you think they are." He says as he fishes for his phone in his man purse.

"Well, at this rate, I won't be able to get used to it since I sTILL haven't found a job. Why are the good stores so demanding? Like, an intensive classroom and in-store training only to have a possibility to get hired??? To think that I'm a loyal Louie Button customer!"

(A/n: This is actually a real procedure for Louis Vuitton, at least in my own experience. But I only applied and never went through with the training cause I figured that it just ain't for me.)

You continue ranting your little heart out about how you could sue these stores for unfair treatment.

Taehyung, though, has long tuned you out and has pointed his full attention to his phone.

This is turning out to be a lot more disastrous than what he anticipated.

So he needs to phone a friend in.

Orrrrr a couple.

He's getting desperate, okay??

The entire spring collection was practically screaming out to him when they entered Kucci.

He's a 𝓚𝓾𝓬𝓬𝓲 𝓫𝓸𝔂 through and through.

He hasn't missed a single Kucci season collection in years.

IN YEARS, PEOPLE!

He can feel his right eye twitch at this blasphemy.

"I'm telling you! These stores are absolutely ungrateful-hEY! Are you even listening??"

"No. I thought that was obvious the second I whipped my phone out."

( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)

Rude

He didn't even try to deny it.

"You know, I really don't need you to be mean to me right now."

"Sorry y/n but this…" He lifts his phone up, "is more important right now."

What could possibly be more important than your current problem??

If you don't leave today with any form of productivity, you just might have to sell the entirety of your closet.

And we all know that ain't happening.

"By 'that', you mean?"

His phone vibrates a couple of times, indicating that he just received a bunch of messages.

He instantly opens them, disregarding you once again.

I-

Seriously, thIS bOy!

"Hello???? I'm still here and we're still hideously unemployed!"

He looks up to you with a smile that seems a tad bit too eerie.

Okay, this is somewhat alarming ngl.

"I called in some reinforcements."

Reinforcements... Huh?

What's that supposed to mean?

You stare at him with scrunched brows and mouth slightly agape.

And as if on cue, a male voice rings from behind you.

"Tae! We're here!"

"Jimin! Seokjin hyung!"

Ohhhhhhh

*Looks at the camera*

Them.

♫︎DUN DUN DUN♫︎

For everyone's information, Taehyung grew up a hair away from the poverty line.

He was in his preteen years when their family found success through his mother's sugar daddy.

He didn't grow up rich whICH there's NOthing wrong WiTh THAT.

A person's financial status does not define them.

Taehyung's friends, however, already have a collective definition in your head.

One word

༼ つ ◕◡◕ ༽つ MESS™

♫︎DUN DUN DUN♫︎

A hot mess you are so not willing to become a part of.

Tae keeps them away from you because he knows that they are not the type of people you would associate yourself with.

Which is why you've never met any of them.

...Until today.

♫︎DUN DUN DUN♫︎

Guess being besties with a broke Taehyung means it only makes sense that you finally meet them.

♫︎dUN dUn- ok that's enough of that.

"We got the Code 17 message. I can't believe I'll ever get that from you. This is history, man! We need to celebrate!" Someone says accompanied by what sounds like someone wiping a window.

You look at Taehyung with a very displeased look.

May god and every higher being out there give you strength.

He doesn't even look the slightest bit bothered by what might be one of the boldest crossovers to ever happen.

Also, "Code 17"??? Wth?

"What's wrong? You never ask to meet at the food court… And who's this with--oh." A different, softer voice talks this time.

"You guys remember my bestie, right? Y/n? Well, I think it's time you guys finally meet."

From behind you, Seokjin and Jimin share a slightly wary yet excited look.

Jimin, being the natural people lover that he is, instantly thinks that he's about to have another best friend.

From what he's heard from Taehyung, you two are slightly alike, being a total softie.

So don't be surprised if a montage of things like the two of you going on picnics at the mall garden or watching the premiere of the next Disney movie plays in his head.

Seokjin, on the other hand, being the woman lover that he is, instantly thinks that he's about to score big time.

He's heard a lot about you from Tae but the only thing that stuck (and pretty much the only thing that matters) is that you are HELLA rich.

$ ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕓𝕒𝕓𝕪 $

So are we even surprised that what he imagines is him breezing through the luxury section of the mall, with his personal butlers in tow, and having everyone swoon at him?

“Y/n,” Taehyung gives you a pointed look as if telling you to be nice. “Meet Seokjin hyung and Jimin, two of my other best friends.”

Alright, you heard that these people work here at the mall.

So you’re gonna have to suck it up if it means being stuck with them for god knows how long.

You just hope they have some level of bearableness.

(Oh and some form of acceptable fashion taste too please, thank you very much!)

As much as you're not in the mood to smile, you still plaster on the sweetest one you can muster and turn around to face the two----

Oh

(o.O)

oh oh oh oh ho ho ho ho

Hello

hELLO indeed.

One of them has a white button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, black slim fit trousers, and a brown newsboy cap like a cherry on top.

He's also wearing a brown apron with a small name tag that says 𝓙𝓲𝓶𝓲𝓷.

The other guy's more casual with his baby pink t-shirt, french tucked into his black ripped skinny jeans.

Personally, you wouldn’t really call them amazing outfits…

bUT SWEET BABY JESUS ARE THEY DOING THINGS.

GREAT THINGS

(Tbh maybe it’s their handsome faces that do it for you)

"Hi, I'm Jimin! It's very nice to finally meet you."

He extends his hand and you take it in a heartbeat because my god that smile.

Wooooooooooo

Now, that's what greets you into heaven.

"Tae says a lot of good things about you and I think- oof."

Cute pink shirt guy (rudely) shoves him to the side.

Jimin almost topples to the ground and it makes you want to stand and check up on him.

The poor cutie.

For some reason, you feel like Taehyung and pink shirt guy get along well.

"AND I'M Seokjin!"

This time, Seokjin swiftly takes your hand without any warning which leaves you feeling flustered.

“Umm… Nice to meet you..?” You manage to politely croak out.  

He gives your hand a kiss and then drops you a sultry wink.  

Thank god you're sitting right now.  

You'd be a lying fool to say that that didn't make your knees weak.  

But ngl, that’s a face that definitely greets you into hell.  

Like, no offense to his handsome face but you are sure there’s something completely devious going on underneath.  

No one can change your mind on that.  

"OKAY! Enough introductions, we’ll have plenty of time for that later... Where are the others??”  

“Hoseok hyung said that he's with Jungkook and they're on their way to get Namjoon hyung." Jimin says as he fixes his hat that slightly slid off.  

"Well, they better hurry!"  

Taehyung DEFINITELY did not have any reasons to cut your introductions off.  

He just did not like how you are practically drooling over Jimin and Seokjin.  

He’s nOT JEALOUS OR ANYTHING  

It’s just...  

It’s not like you’ve never been close to any hot guys before.  

Uh hello???  

HE’S HOT  

And you’re with him 24/7

Wait…  

Do you even think he’s hot???  

Okay now that’s a thought he never considered before.  

Damn bro  

Now Tae’s having an existential crisis…  

anD hE’s dEfiniTEly NOT jEALous!!!  

ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ  

"WE'RE HERE!"  

All four of you direct your heads to the sound of a new voice and you start to think that Taehyung might actually be playing a joke on you.  

Come on!  

THREE 👏  MORE 👏  HOT 👏 GUYS  👏

???  

This can't be real.  

This is literal heaven!  

Gasp!  

Are.  

You.  

DEAD?!  

Maybe you're right about Jimin being what greets you into heaven!

It all makes sense.  

“Dude, we came as soon as we could. We even pulled Namjoon out of his rabbit hole.” The handsome one wearing a sports jersey says. 

“This better be important. I didn’t even get to ask permission to take a break! I’m supposed to be stocking utensils right now.” The handsome one wearing an atrocious outfit of a bright blue shirt and a much brighter yellow pants chimes in.  

The handsome one wearing loose fitting jeans, a plaid button up and a black t-shirt underneath just stayed at the sidelines not saying anything.  

Out of all of them, you think he’s the most stylish one.  

Your eyes meet while you are assessing his outfit but he instantly looks away.  

A noticeable blush blooms on his cheeks and you almost swoon.  

Awww he’s extra cute.  

“Yeah, cause organising cutlery is more important than a friend in a literal crisis.” Taehyung says in a sarcastic tone.  

“So what are we doing here?”  

“What is this ‘crisis’ you are referring to?”  

“Yo, who is she?”  

Namjoon, Jin, and handsome jersey boy all talk at the same time.  

Ugh you need a massage.  

Being surrounded by these broke handsome men is making you lightheaded.  

“This is Y/n. You know, my other best friend.”

“Oh, your money buddy.” Handsome jersey boy butts in.   

Uh EXCUSE YOU, WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?  

You scoff hard and loud.  

Taehyung clears his throat and you thought he was going to make a comment defending you or something.  

Oh honey, you are wrong.  

Because for the nth time today, he just brushes you off.  

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Anyways, Guys, meet Y/n. Y/n, this is Hoseok hyung, Namjoon hyung, and Jungkook.”  

You didn't think it'd be possible but for the first time ever, you so badly want to rip someone's hair out.  

And not just someone, it's Taehyung.  

Normally, a sassy, moody, rude boy Taehyung doesn’t affect you at all.  

But then again, his negative vibes were never really directed to you.  

And given the current circumstance, you’re also not in the best mood as well.  

So you aren't as inviting as you usually are when you shook hands with the three boys.  

Somehow, even their overflowing handsomeness did not do anything for you now.  

Your presence, however, did something to the three boys.  

AND I MEAN A LOT.  

Confused, attracted, intimidated, confused, in awe, slightly scared, nervous, confused, hungry…  

What? Hoseok hasn’t had lunch and coincidentally, he started feeling his tummy rumble when he looked at you.  

…..  

Fun fact: Hoseok is DEFINITELY NOT A CANNIBAL NOR HE EVER PLANS ON BEING ONE.  

If ever you were thinking...  

“Okay, so here’s the sitch.” Tae starts to explain your situation and everyone listens to him intently.  

Little did you all know, the final member of the friend group just arrived at the food court and is now walking towards where you all are.  

It wasn’t difficult to spot your group with Namjoon’s obnoxiously brightly coloured towering self and the few girls hanging around.  

Probably Jimin’s fanclub.  

“And so, here we are!” Tae finishes, keeping everyone updated.  

"Wow, so you two are looking for an actual job? Like, here? At the mall??" A very baffled Seokjin asks.  

Tae rolls his eyes.  

"Yes. Is that really hard to believe?"  

"Actually, yes. It is."  

Another male voice is heard coming from someplace.  

“Yoongi hyung!”  

Oh great! Another one.  

Surely, this guy’s not that interesting.  

I mean, what are the fricking odds that he’s also an immaculate being??  

You turn around and your mouth drops to the floor.  

No no no no no.  

No way!  

Another freaking gOOD LOOKING GUY HAS WALKED UP TO YOUR GROUP.  

Okay, this is getting unbelievable now.  

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?  

Like, where and how on earth did Taehyung manage to get and round up SIX insanely good looking guys??  

What is this? Are you on The Bachelorette??

Wait no   

It's like Oprah!  

And instead of cars, she's giving away handsome men

You get a hot Asian man, you get a hot Asian man, you all get a hot Asian man!  

OR MAYBE  

Are you on MTV Punk'd?????  

Statistically speaking, a hot guy can have two or maybe three equally hot best friends

BUT SIX???   

ARE YOU KIDDING?  

Is Taehyung like Thanos? Collecting the six infinity stones?  

Thanos? lol.  

If anything, he's more like Henry VIII with his six wives.  

“So you guys didn’t even wait for me, huh?”

Yoongi, oh so casually, just takes a seat beside you   

Without even giving you a single glance or whatnot.  

“I didn’t know you'd be here at the mall today?”  

“Yeah, what are you doing here?”  

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “It’s a free country, I can be here whenever I want to be.”  

Well, can’t argue with that logic.  

The mall is practically your second home at this point.  

“... Also… uTunes is hiring and uh… I’m applying...”  

You don’t understand why but everyone else looks either shocked or annoyed at Yoongi’s announcement... 

Are you missing something here?  

“Man, you need to give it up! That place can suck it.”  

Yoongi gives Seokjin one of the scariest glare you’ve ever seen.  

It could rival against your dad’s famous death glares that he gives to his incompetent subordinates.  

Namjoon shakes his head disapprovingly, “You’re applying there again?? I can’t believe it.”  

Yes, again.  

This is going to be the seventh time he’s applying at uTunes Records, the most popular music shop there is.  

So many people flock to it even though we’re already in the digital age.  

But he doesn’t question it.  

All he cares about is getting a job there because the employees get to play their own music in the store.  

Do you know how much of a popularity boost that is?  

A CRAP TON.  

On top of that, one of the employees gets a chance to get signed by a record label every year.  

And if you're not awarded by that chance, you can still meet agents and get signed through their many parties.  

Because of that, so many people also apply for a job there.  

But they unfortunately have such high standards which is why even after three years, he still hasn’t passed their vibe check.

"Listen, seven's a lucky number. I have great feelings about this one. Besides, I've built up a strong résumé. Winning one of uTunes' own rookie dj contests must mean something, right? They can't not take me!"   

Wow.  

You've only known Yoongi for a solid three minutes, but you can already tell that he's quite passionate about this.  

"Hyung, all we're saying is that maybe you should consider doing something else? You could do so much more than run after that store." Jimin says and pats Yoongi's hand a couple of times.  

"All of you perfectly know getting a job there could quite possibly set my music career!"  

"Is that really it? Or is it because of a certain Daphne??" Seokjin teases him.  

The rest just mutters an "ooh" or an "aah".  

You seem to have been turned into an accessory.  

You so cannot relate to anything they've talked about since Yoongi came. 

It's like you're at one of your dad's social gatherings and all you can do is smile and nod.  

"ANYWAY," Yoongi interjects in their teasing. "So Tae, you're also looking for a job?"  

Jeez FINALLY.  

Something you can talk about that involves you.  

It felt like you were just back home watching some random show that doesn't require your input.  

Taehyung gives an overly dramatic heavy sigh.  

"Unfortunately, yes. Y/n and I both need one badly. But all the stores had been rejecting us left and right. Like, the audacity!" Taehyung rants all over again.  

Jimin, listens to him intently as if he hasn't heard all of this before.  

Seokjin seems to have been entertaining the surrounding ladies for a while now.

[by giving some ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ and some (•̀ᴗ-)☞  ]  

Across the table, Namjoon complains to Hoseok about getting in trouble with his boss.  

Jungkook, well, he's just staring at the beautiful pizza this kid next to you guys is eating. (Someone's hungry too, okay?) 

While Yoongi just openly stares at you.  

Welp.  

What the frick are you supposed to do now?

Is Taehyung or anyone going to properly introduce you two?   

No???  

Okay fine.  

Seems like you're gonna have to get used to doing things on your own.  

You smile at him and timidly hold your hand out.  

"Uh hi. I'm Y/n. I don't know if Tae's ever mentioned me to you before but--"  

"Oh, trust me. He's mentioned you plenty. He actually never shuts up about you."  

ʰᵉʰ  

Ok  

You don't really know if he was stating that as a fact or if he's trying to be mean…  

"Oh ha ha… That must be really annoying then."  

"Yeah, it is actually."  

Your small polite chuckle died down your throat.  

Wow and you thought Taehyung can be rude.  

hE'S STILL JUST STARING.  

"Uh…" You finally lowered your hand that he obviously isn't going to shake.  

That is definitely going in your top 10 most embarrassing moments ever.  

God, can someone get you away from this guy?  

What's his problem?  

"SO, can any one of you help us? Like, any tips or something?" Tae concludes his really long and repetitive rant.  

Everyone's eyes FINALLY focuses on Tae again.  

Seokjin snorts loudly.  

Eww.  

He opens his mouth to say something but Tae immediately holds his hand up to stop him.  

"Anyone except you hyung. I don't think you're classified."  

Everyone laughs to that and again,  

ARE YOU MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING HERE?  

Seokjin raises one finger like he's trying to make a point. "If anyone is classified to give tips on how to get accepted, it's me!"  

"Yeah, just not on how to last on one." Namjoon loudly whispers to Tae.  

"HEY I HEARD THAT!"  

Ohhh….  

So,  

Does he constantly get fired from a job?  

Well, that's just sad.  

Hopefully you don't end up like him.  

😳  

"Actually," Hoseok starts, "how do you end up landing on so many jobs? Like, don't they know your reputation?"  

And that's your cue to finally insert yourself in the conversation.  

"Uh, what reputation?"  

"Sweetheart, you don't really want to know! It's not that big of a deal." Seokjin quickly steers you away from the topic but the other guys didn't allow it to happen.  

"Oh, you know. Just that, he's known to be the "job eater" here. Cause he pretty much eats a job and moves on from it in a flash." Namjoon graciously fills you in.  

So you were right.  

That's kind of impressive though…  

But a huge waste.  

"Still! It makes me very much qualified to give the unemployed a tip!"  

"Save it hyung, you might need it for your next job once you get fired from Uncle Aang's."  

Seokjin gives everyone a sheepish smile.  

What's that about?  

It almost looks as if he…  

"YOU GOT FIRED ALREADY?!"  

"Oh you bet I did."  

To be fair, how could he not stop himself from eating the free samples? Those pretzels are literal drugs.  

"You just got that job four days ago. I can't believe it!"  

"I can believe it." Yoongi says out loud.  

Can't he say anything nice?  

"Whatever! Point is, these stores still hire me no matter what."  

"You know what, that is a good point." Taehyung mutters, slowly turning convinced by Seokjin.  

Namjoon groans. "Are you for real Tae? If you want some job advice, maybe ask one from us who has only had one permanent job all throughout."  

"Guys, let's give Seokjin hyung a chance!" Jimin, ever the sweet positive boy, suggests.

"Of course you would say that."    

Not wanting to fade into nothingness, you insert yourself again in the conversation.  

"I want to hear what he has to say."  

Once those words left your mouth, you instantly regret it.  

A.) Seokjin gives you another wink and gives you a flying kiss that has you weak in the knees again- I MEAN WHAT. I SAID NOTHING.  

And B.) Yoongi is clearly not a fan of you sharing your opinions with the group.    

Despite the obvious protests of Namjoon, Seokjin still gives his number one "professional" advice  

And that is to have a perfectly 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉 𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 résumé.  

"A high quality résumé? YOU? What the fuck are you talking about?" Yoongi says, slightly amused and slightly tired of the older guy's shenanigans.  

"Don't believe me? Fine. But I'm telling you, it's all here on paper!" Seokjin takes out a folder from his backpack and waves it around.  

Namjoon immediately snatches it from him  

"5 pages long?? Are you for real?”  

Seokjin hums and watches smugly with a cocky grin as the guys read through his résumé.  

“Hang on, since when did you do balloon modelling?”  

"I don't."  

Hoseok gasps. "But bro, isn't that lying?"  

"Yeah, duh! How else are these people gonna hire you? You have to sell them what they're looking for."  

"What if they ask you to use these skills that you clearly don't have?"  

"Then you're just gonna have to fake it till you make it, baby!"  

Huh  

No wonder he doesn't last long on a single job.  

"And how's that working out for you?" Yoongi presses on.  

"Well at least I get hired, Mr. 7th Time's the Charm!"  

Yoongi is like ᶠⁱᵗᵉ ᵐᵉ ⁱ ʷᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʰᵉˢⁱᵗᵃᵗᵉ ᵇⁱᵗᶜʰ (ง'̀-'́)ง  

"That's not really the point of having a job, but I guess, whatever floats your boat, dude!" Hoseok finally sides with Seokjin.  

"So everyone is looking for a job then?" Taehyung realizes, "this is so cool if all of us get hired! We'll all face the real world together."  

"All of us except Jungkook though."  

Who?  

Oh that extra cute shy boy.  

You forgot he's here.  

Boy really hasn't said a word at all.  

"Did ya hear that? All of us are getting jobs!"

"You should get one too!"   

"That would be so cool!"  

"So what do you say? What are your plans Kook?"  

"Guys, don't pressure the kid!"  

The guys talk simultaneously, ultimately kind of pressuring Jungkook to say something before he even thinks about it.  

The table falls silent and everyone eyes Jungkook.  

The guys are like ( ･ิ ͜ʖ ･ิ) and ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)  

Jungkook is like (ʘ ͟ʖ ʘ)  

Then the guys are like (≖ ͜ʖ≖)  

So jungkook is like (¬‿¬ )  

In the end, they are all like 

(☞°ヮ°)☞ ☜(°ヮ°☜)  

And through it all, you are just ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ  

What the heck is going on?  

"Yeah, why not?" Jungkook simply concludes and the guys make various celebrating noises.  

Gasp!  

He can talk???  

"Okay, everyone calm down! Let's wait until after everyone gets hired before we celebrate." Namjoon scolds everyone.  

"Well that might take a while considering Y/n and I can't find one!"  

Namjoon places a comforting hand on Tae's shoulder. "Oh relax, there's like ten thousand stores in the mall!"  

"Actually, there are only 613 stores in the entire mall." Hoseok points out a matter of factly.  

You all look at him dumbfoundedly.  

Aaaand he just stares back at all of you.  

Is this some kind of trivia that you need to know if you work around here?  

Are you gonna have to memorise a lot of facts about the mall???  

Oh, you don't like that.  

Seokjin was the first one to react.  

"Dude?? What the hell?!"  

"I got bored once while I was on a break and counted."

Huh.  

Makes sense.  

Yeah, sure.  

Why not?  

Why wouldn't you just go and count the total number of stores out of boredom???  

…  

THAT WAS A SARCASTIC REMARK IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT.  

"Even if there are 600 stores here, there are only like, 20 good stores that exist!" Tae remarks   

You want to say you can't agree more but you stop yourself because you don't think you can handle another cold stare from Yoongi.  

"Are you perhaps pertaining to the high end stores?" Namjoon muses.  

"Yeah. What else?"  

Jimin's eyes widen in shock. "Hold on. So you two have only been looking at that small section of the entire mall?"  

"Yeah. Why?"  

Yoongi chuckles condescendingly.  

"Bros, you know that saying… 'Beggars can't be choosers'?" Hoseok tries to enlighten you two.  

You and Tae look at each other.  

What an epiphany.  

A very disgusting yet important epiphany.  

"Are you… Are you guys saying that… We need to find a job… Outside of that section??"  

They all nod.  

Ughhhhhhh  

You and Tae make an annoyed sound.  

"Welcome to the real world, peasants!" Seokjin warmly tells you.  

Could things get any worse?  

"Hey, at least we'll all be here together!"  

Ha ha 

Great . Awesome. Wow.

"Well, on that note, I really need to get back to work. Lady and gentlemen, may the odds be ever in your favour. Good luck!"  

Namjoon stands and walks away.  

One by one, the other working guys went back to work as well, leaving you unemployed slackers.  

Hey they didn't even give any actual help!  

Wasn't that the reason why Tae called for a… What did they call it?  

Code something something.  

Oh whatever!  

Anyways,  

So to summarize things  

You might end up working at an awful low end store.  

And you're unwillingly stuck with the wrong set of people.  

One of them is a total flirt and an actual pain to society.  

Another one might possibly hate you for unknown reasons.   

This tall dude seems to be really uptight.  

Then there's this guy that seems really weird.

The other one, well… He's cute and doesn't really have any negative points yet BUT you're sure something's wrong with him.   

And the last one literally said one thing during the entire time!  

Oh, you've got a really really long way before you can pay your dad.  

Good luck to you, indeed.   

#bts x reader #bts au #bts series #bts mall au #namjoon x reader #seokjin x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #bts fic #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts ot7 #bts ot7 x reader #bts scenarios #bts fluff #bts humor #bts crack #bts #bangtan

[chiefinvestigatoremma]

What kind of person/or traits do you think would best suit Midoriya, Tamaki, Hawks for a partner? (All 18+!)

Aww this is fun!!!

Ideal Traits in a Partner 😍

Midoriya 💚💚💚

Patience! This boy is a LOT (in the best way) ideally his partner would love to listen to him talk about his passions because we know the boy loves to talk

Trust, the guy is the number one hero so he can't be around as much as you'd like, so you gotta trust he's making the right calls and that he'll always come home to you at the end of the day

Passion- Midoriya has plenty of it himself but there's little fun in getting passionate about something without someone to talk to about it!!! They may not even be passionate about the same things but they still get excited just because their partner is excited!! Even if Izuku hasn't had time to watch your favorite show (yet) he'd still know the names of the characters, your favorite ships, etc.

Love- this boy deserves so much fucking love. He gives out so much to everyone around him and never asks for any in return so he could really use a partner who just loves him with all their might.

Independent- again he can't always be there so it's good to have the peace of mind that his partner is kicking ass on their own. That's not to say you can't depend on him- because you definitely can! But he loves when you stand up for yourself and solve your own problems- he finds it hot tbh

NSFW:

Let's be real he needs someone who is open to experimenting- because we KNOW this guy is a closet f r e a k .

Needs a partner who can express themselves and give him feedback, vocal, vocal, VOCAL!! He LOVES hearing you scream, lives for all your little sounds and whimpers

If you like sitting on your partner's face, you are Izuku's DREAM.

He'd probably like someone who is into exhibitionism, so that he can fuck you whenever and wherever he wants

Seriously that would make him the happiest guy alive

Tamaki 🦑🦑🦑

Again, patience. Tamaki isn't as timid as he used to be but he has his moments. And he can't be rushed through them, so his partner should be willing to just rub his back and pet his hair until he comes down

His partner better like Mirio, these guys are a package deal.

He'd LOVE a partner who can cook!!! And bake lol. Food is huge in his life so if you make it for him he'd be thrilled

He'd like a partner he can baby just a little bit. People usually treat him like the fragile one so he'd appreciate the chance to be the strong protector for once. Let this man be your sugar daddy. DO IT

Lastly he would really benefit from someone who could encourage him to push his boundaries without being too demanding.

NSFW:

He'd be best with a switch for a partner- because sometimes he really needs to be cherished

But other times.. the boy is dirty. His partner better be ready for him to use his quirk to his advantage, and yes, I mean tentacles

They have to be accepting, he'll be very hesitant to open up about his kinks and if he senses the slightest judgement he'll never mention them ever again

I touched on Mirio earlier but Tamaki really wouldn't mind having Mirio involved in his relationship in any aspect including sex

Aftercare is huge. His partner better kiss the shit out of him and praise him and tell him how good he did.

Hawks 🍗🍗🍗

His job is confidential so his partner has to understand and respect that

Ideally his partner can tell when he has a rough day and can comfort and be there for him even though he can't discuss what happened

His partner MUST have a sense of humor. This guy is such a damn goofball, he'll need someone to laugh to tears with him

("Keigo I almost pissed laughing when Endeavor took the mic from you, he looked soooo mad hahahahahahaaa")

He's also a guy that would appreciate a partner who makes him food, he's got quite the appetite and will always finish every meal you make him

One more time: patience!! This guy spent most of his life alone, he's going to struggle opening up, being vulnerable, and being tactful.

NSFW:

He's goofy even in the bedroom, his partner has to be okay with lots of giggling and laughter even in the middle of passionate sex

His partner has to be mindful that his wings throw a wrench in basically anything you want to do, positions can be difficult because of them

Someone who's into feathers... Would be... Very. Pleased with Hawks

This man needs a lover who really truly LOVES, meaningful and emotional sex is actually really important to him

He's mostly a top so he'd need a switch at the least if not a sub. Sex is one of the only times he really feels in control, after all.

--------

#midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya headcanons #midoriya #tamaki x reader #tamaki amajiki #hawks headcanons #hawks x reader #bnha x reader #bnha headcanons #bnha

[blackberry-gingham]

The love language concept sounds interesting! I’d say George’s love language/the way he shows love is physical touch, Paul’s is receiving gifts, Ringo’s is positive affirmation mixed with quality time, and tbh I’m not to sure for John. maybe acts or service or quality time for him?

Mwahaha, you've fallen into my trap! The truth is I wanted to do this topic more or less for myself, but felt bad bc I still have a few requests left to do. So thank you for sending in a "request" for me so that I can do one out of order real quick >:3

Lol but really tho, thank you for humoring me and these are good! I could honestly see all of these, but for John I'd say acts of service with you, bc the "To Do" stuff just sounds like his character tbh, but maybe also I feel like there's some physical touch too???

Ik I've heard that John kind of actually didn't like being touched, but I mean... If you look at literally any picture of him with Yoko, he's always at least holding her hand, if not just totally draped all over her lol, so I'm assuming for an S/O it's totally different!

But anyway, here's some headcannons real quick and then back to requests. Thanks everyone!

---

George

Honestly? I feel like George would just not be able to keep his hands off you

Like, not necissarily in a sexual way (although that too, if you're in the mood lol), it's just that he loves to let you and everyone else know you're his

He's not all too shy about it either lol

I mean obviously he saves the more lovey dovey stuff for private places, but in public he still has a lot to offer

Everytime he sees you he kisses you either on the cheek, forehead, or mouth and then pulls you in for a hug

Always

Then the rest of the time, as long as he doesn't have to be working, he likes to hold your hand and play with your hair

And if he's feeling a little risqué, he likes to let you sit on his lap and cuddle against him

In private tho...

Oh, he is all over you!!!

You are his sanctuary and safe haven away from the public eye and the daily grind that comes with being a Beatle

I've seen quite a few quotes from geo lamenting the fact that he and the others had literally no private life thanks to their stardom

So yeah, believe me when I say he could live a thousand years and still never feel like he could repay you for giving him the rest and love he needs

He'd be like a long, giant cat. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, if he has an opportunity to snuggle up to you, he takes it

And if he's not exhausted, and if you let him !! he likes to just touch and kiss your body and face

Having that closeness and intimacy is so important to him, he wants to let you know how deeply he loves you

All of you

And of course, the best way you can return his love language back to him is by returning the intimacy he does for you!

When in Rome, after all

Honestly, just by accepting his offers when he initiates a request to hold your hand or hug or cuddle, he already appreciates that!

But if you initiate any of those things, he's definitely feeling the love!!

Although, one thing you like to do a bit different is giving massages

Of course George would certainly give you one if you asked!

But since he's usually tired, either mentally or physically, from always being on the go, you like to do him a favor lol

And he loves it

Seriously, you've never seen a man more blissed out then George gets over something as simple as a back or scalp massage

Assuming he doesn't fall asleep under the spell of your skillful fingers, he repays you with kisses or cuddles after :)

John

Ok idk if I'm like projecting, or reaching, or SOMETHING along those lines, but I feel like of all the boys, John is probably the one most looking for a true partner, as in like his other half

Paul is very close behind with his relationship with Linda, but for John it always came off as a need for him, more then like a want or nice thing to have

So anyway, all this to say that as far as acts of service goes, I think he gets a lot of security out of receiving this!

Like, whenever John's feeling particularly stressed or overwhelmed having you there to approach the issues with an objective mindset is a HUGE relief

Really, like I cannot stress this enough

Phrases like, "What can I do to take some pressure off for you?"

Or, "Well what if we just focus on x for now, and then we can take care of y and z tomorrow?"

All give him such a powerful sense of relief

And of course, the way that you, you know, actually follow up on your word, makes him fall even deeper in love with you then he thought possible

Now on the other hand, is physical touch

While this is a part of his love language cocktail, John likes to express this one a bit more then he likes to receive it

You see, unlike George, John is a little more reserved with his PDA

He will kiss you and hold your hand of course! But unfortunately his anxiety is a thing, so as much as he hates it, he has to reserve his physical affection for more private settings

But when you two are alone, he's like puddy in your hands!

He likes to just hold you a lot

It doesn't matter if you're preoccupied with something else, like a book or the telly, he just wants to have physical contact with you

And if you can do any of those things cuddled up on his lap or against his chest, even better!

But also, John definitely loves to get that energy back

He likes it when you give him cute little kisses and pet his head

I think he'd also like it if you rubbed his temples or the bridge of his nose/third eye lol

Wearing glasses all day can get uncomfortable you know!!

I think if you can establish that trust and physical closeness, that's when you'd also get a return on his acts of service

Really, if you've bonded this deeply with John he'd do literally anything for you

Whatever you need, whatever you want, if he can do it he will and if he can't he'll find a way to do it anyway!

He'd be loyal to a fault and love you forever after

Paul

Please tell me why I could see Paul being your sugar daddy on the low 😭😭

Really, like he just likes to spoil you!

Honestly if someone showed me proof that the real actual, 78 year old, 2021 Paul McCartney uses stacks of hundred dollar bills as tinder for his fireplace, I literally wouldn't even blink

Like even back in the day, he's got that Beatles' money baby !!! and he.... Kinda doesn't care for it, actually

I personally don't think any of the boys come across as like money hungry or something like that, but I could see Paul especially figuring that he might as well use all this dumb money to buy you things you like!

It may feel overwhelming to be on the receiving end of so many random, but expensive gifts tbh

You might even tell him to stop or that he doesn't have to do all that!!

I think he'd be able to understand that overwhelming you with nice things kinda has the opposite effect of what he's intending, but....

He just gets a little carried away sometimes lol

I mean growing up he didn't have all that much, and even now, like obviously nice things are nice, but meh

What he really wants to do is make sure you're enjoying the high life too!

I could see him doing more of writing you songs and music instead so that he can still fulfil his desire to give, should you feel uncomfortable with the fancy gifts

But yeah, if you're uncomfortable he totally would get that and dial back the materialism, but if you don't mind, then he doesn't either!!

Now you might be wondering how you, a delightfully average person, could impress Paul McCartney with a gift giving love language...

I mean, what do you give the man who has everything?

Well I'd tell you this... It's simple!

You could bring him literally anything that you find meaningful and be like "This made me think of you!" or "I just thought you'd like this!" and he'll love it!

He would definitely run up some organized collections of the little things you've given him

He has some dedicated display boxes for all the random, shiny rocks and pebbles you've found

A little filing drawer of all the notes you've ever wrote him

And if you like art or photography, he'd decorate his personal spaces with your work!

Of course he'd appreciate traditional gifts too tho

Like a watch or bass strings or a new tie ect ect

But the thing for you to not get caught up on is the price!

That doesn't matter to him :)

He likes your gifts bc they came from you!

Ringo

Ok, positive affirmation is definitely a big thing for Ringo

He gets roasted a lot by the boys and even the media, and all in good fun I suppose, but after a while enough is enough you know?

Not to mention, he just feels a bit... Lesser then?? Compared to the others and their musical talent

So the poor guy really needs a break!

Literally, even just little one word sentences of encouragement mean sooo much to him

"I'm so proud of you Ritchie!"

"That sounded wonderful!"

"You've done a great job today at the studio, good work!"

Stuff like that makes him melt

Of course he also appreciates the more conventional things like "I love you" and when you call him handsome!

And as for the spending quality time, that comes easily!

Ringo looooves to take you out on dates!

Now yes, there's your typical movie date, dinner, dancing, all that

But his favorite things to do is go on little adventures!

He takes you to the park, the beach, out to explore thrift and consignment stores, and anywhere else you want to check out!

However, not everyone wants to run around outside 24/7

So in the house, he likes doing things that you two can do together!

Painting is a big one, seeing as it's his other hobby, but it could honestly be anything, like puzzles, board games, or just watching TV!

I'm trying to think of how he'd return the words words of affirmation side of his love language, but I think it would be a little harder for him to do then expressing quality time tbh

You just make him so darn shy!

What with all your good looks and kindness, he just feels a little overwhelmed

Have you ever seen a work of art, or architecture, or even a landscape so breathtaking that you don't really know where to start when describing it to someone?

Yeah, it's like that

He definitely wants to try tho!

I think he'd stick to simple things like complimenting your outfits and praising your work or personal projects you show him!

He's worried that that comes across as just common decency tho, so he says "I love you" a lot and tries to make up for his bad way with words with quality time

#the beatles #ringo starr x reader #john lennon x reader #george harrison x reader #paul mccartney x reader #beatles x reader #beatles imagines #love langauges

[artificialqueens]

By Your Side (Biadore) - Candy Cane

A/N: just a oneshot based off of a prompt sent in that asked for bianca finding out abt adore’s onlyfans! its not quite that tbh but the words take me where they want to go lol please enjoy!! <3 theres some other things ive been trying to work on but its slow going rn as my cat is very sick and a lot of my time and energy has been dedicated to him, but i hope to get more out soon!

It’s only been a few months into quarantine when Adore finds herself on the phone with one of her oldest friends. Like, old physically not old as in how long they’ve known each other. But to be fair, there aren’t a ton of people she’s been friends with longer than she’s been friends with Bianca. Courtney and Darienne too for that matter.

She loves Bianca. Their friendship is something precious to her, and surprisingly this is only the second phone call they’ve had since quarantine has started. They talk basically every day through texts, and that’s on top of the hours they spend going back and forth in the ABCD group chat with Courtney and Darienne. The four of them have something special, all of them realize that. There’s just something specifically between her and Bianca that Adore’s never really been able to place her finger on.

Out of the blue this morning Bianca simply… called her. Adore spends a full moment staring at the CallerID trying to figure out where the fuck this is coming from. With an uncertain frown, she answers the phone, hanging upside down off the side of her bed of course.

“So… OnlyFans? Seriously?” Bianca asks incredulously, her voice crackling over the phone speaker.

What a way to start a conversation after not hearing each other’s voices for like a month! Even though Adore can’t see her face, she can practically hear the raised eyebrow.

“Fuck you,” Adore laughs, unable to help smiling at Bianca’s playful accusations.

“Not that I’m mad, but why fucking OnlyFans? Aren’t bitches doing podcasts now?”

“I’m bored, okay? There’s not a lot to do but drink and masturbate, and drinking hasn’t really been doing it for me lately. Plus, I gotta make money somehow,” Adore grumbles through an explanation, lifting herself up and sprawling out on her bed awkwardly.

“Do I need to set up an intervention? You know I will,” Bianca says with faux seriousness, “Seriously though, if you need some help…”

Adore frowns down at her phone. She hates pity, she hates unnecessary worry, and she definitely hates burdening people with her bullshit.

“B, I’m fine, I promise,” she says earnestly, “I guess I just… I miss you. A lot. And we can’t see each other right now and it fucking sucks and I’m really lonely-”

“Come over.”

“What? I can’t, B, we’re quarantined…”

“When’s the last time you left your apartment?”

“Uhh, I dunno, maybe a month ago?’ Adore answers, unsure of where Bianca is going with this.

“Okay, that’s well over two weeks. Come hang out with me for a few days, get some human interaction, I’ve been needing it myself. I haven’t gone out or seen anyone for a few weeks now,” Bianca admits, and Adore feels suddenly giddy.

It’s been so long since she’s seen someone, since she’s even gotten a hug, and she really wants to see Bianca…

“I’ll be there tomorrow morning,” Adore agrees, not even thinking twice about it.

Bianca is everything to her. This person was one of the first to really take her seriously, to really see something in her, and Adore doesn’t know where she’d be without her. Every time something goes wrong, her first instinct is to call Bianca. Everytime something amazing happens, her first instinct is to call Bianca. They’ll spend hours talking or texting just because and Adore wouldn’t have it any other way.

They are as good together as PB&J, or peanut butter and celery, or peanut butter and pretzels… And Adore realizes she is feeling very snacky, specifically for peanut butter. With a sigh she rolls off her bed to get a snack before she starts packing for the next week.

The point is Adore loves Bianca, and Danny loves Roy. Sure maybe it’s in a different way than they should, or even once did, but it can’t be helped. It can be hidden, though. And Danny is more than fine with hiding this secret, as long as they get to have Roy in their life at all. He’s more than what Danny should ever even hope for, and yet a part of them can’t help but hope.

After spending so much time apart, Danny knows it’ll be harder now than ever to hide these feelings they’ve been harboring for Roy. They’ll try though, because sometimes the thought of this man loving them back is all that keeps them going.

Danny arrives at Roy’s beautiful new house in Palm Springs at nearly noon the next day. Which, to be fair, is very much the morning for Danny. They even woke up early to make the trip! …If ten a.m. counts as early in any book except their own.

Roy is already standing out in the driveway waiting for Danny when they get there, his arms spread wide for a hug the second Danny gets out of their car. The younger practically rocket launches themself into his arms, clinging tight to him as they savor the first hug they’ve gotten in such a long fucking time. Danny can’t help the tears that fall at finally having such warm, loving human contact, especially from this person.

They hold onto each other as tight as they can, each beyond glad to have each other’s trust in such unreliable times. Being alone for so long had hit Roy hard too. Alcohol and binge watching can really only do so much, and he’s genuinely been feeling lonely being stuck in one spot for so long. The dogs help some, but at the end of the day it really doesn’t replace human interaction, no matter how hard he wishes it did.

“I missed you, baby girl,” Roy says, and Danny can almost hear his voice waver.

“I missed you too,” Danny whispers, trying and failing to hold back a sob.

They leave Danny’s bag in the car for now, much more eager to go sit down and enjoy each other’s company. The dogs bombard the two of them the second Danny crosses the threshold, the enby leaning instantly down to kiss and coo at the babies and Roy can’t help grinning widely at the sight. He loves his babies, and he loves his baby girl.

They spend the afternoon talking and laughing and playing with the dogs. Danny clearly gets some ideas about the golf cart, and Roy is suddenly excited about the upcoming few days. It’s been a while since either of them have really had something to look forward to.

“Alright, I still need you to explain this OnlyFans thing to me,” Roy says with a smirk a few hours later, after they’ve gotten properly settled in on the couch together with the dogs.

Danny’s eyes go wide with slight panic, “Okay, grandpa, it’s like uhhh, Patreon but-”

“No, no, no!” Roy laughs, “I know what it is, I mean why that? Why not literally anything else?”

“First of all, I am sexy. Second of all, I spent a lot of time not making money masturbating, which is a fucking shame because as I said before I am sexy.”

They both crack up at that, giggling like idiots on Roy’s couch, the puppies quickly joining in, yipping at them to be a part of the excitement.

“Awww, do you two think I’m funny?” Danny coos, picking Dede up and cuddling the pup close, “Your daddy doesn’t think I’m funny!”

Roy snorts, “You’ve certainly picked up a thing or two from me.”

“Like how to be a bitter old hermit!” Danny grins sweetly.

“Exactly,” Roy laughs.

“So if I ask really nicely will this bitter old hermit make me food?” Danny asks, batting their eyelashes pleadingly.

“My original plan was to let you starve to death while you were here, but since you’re asking nicely…” Roy says teasingly, feeling an odd sense of satisfaction at the way the younger throws their head back with laughter.

Late that night, after a long night of talking and watching TV and a decent dinner, they curl up into bed together. At one point they both needed to at least be tipsy to do that, but nowadays that’s just overkill. They have progressed well beyond that point of friendship, though Roy sometimes still likes to put on a show of being annoyed, if only because of the way Danny pouts and rolls their eyes.

Tonight he just holds the thick comforter up so Danny can slide in easily with him, he’s not really interested in making either of them wait longer than they already have for cuddles. In seconds the two are holding each other tight, savoring the touch. As Roy lays there, holding Danny like the younger is his lifeline, he starts to think about the time they’ve known each other. All the ups, downs, and side-to-sides… Danny has grown up a lot over the years they’ve been friends, and it’s hard to deny that it’s changed Roy’s feelings for them.

Once his feelings to the younger were almost motherly, but now it’s closer to attraction. It’s kind of weird, at the least it’s very fucked up. Roy wants to just give in to the feelings, but he can’t. Not when he has no way of gaging Danny’s feelings for him. He can live with this secret, he’s not sure he can live without Danny’s friendship.

Danny interrupts his thoughts, their voice small and curious, “Why were you so invested in my OnlyFans?”

“Bitch, I’m trying to sleep here,” Roy groans.

“No, seriously,” Danny pouts, sitting up in bed and looking down at Roy. The moonlight streaming in from the window highlights the enby perfectly, and Roy curses his luck.

“I don’t want you renting yourself out on the corner like Bunny, now get back to sleep you dumb slut,” Roy says with all of his usual teasing heat.

Danny pouts though, clearly not satisfied, “But…”

“Sleep. Now.” Roy demands, reaching up to tug them back under the covers. Danny reluctantly gives in, and snuggles close to Roy.

Just as Roy is about to fall asleep, Danny’s voice has his eyes flying open.

“Roy?”

“What?”

“I love you,” Danny whispers.

Roy’s heart melts a little at that, “I love you too, Danny.”

Danny bites their lip nervously, “I mean like… I think…”

Roy’s heart starts to beat faster in his chest. Surely they couldn’t mean…

“You think…?” Roy asks, hoping that despite it all this person is about to say what he thinks they are.

“I think I might be… in love,” Danny says, their voice quiet and timid in a way Roy hasn’t heard in a very long time, “With you.”

This time Roy is the one to sit up in bed, staring down at Danny with pure infatuation. Those words echo around his ears, his chest, his very soul, and before he even realizes what he’s doing he’s leaning down to capture Danny’s lips in a kiss.

His lips against theirs feels so undeniably right. Their lips move slowly against each other, Danny brings a hand around to cup the back of Roy’s neck and in that moment nothing is wrong in their own little world. In that moment it’s just them and the moonlight. He thinks that he could live forever in this moment and never need anything else.

They break apart much too soon for either of their tastes, and Roy stares into those pretty eyes and murmurs, “I think I love you too.”

Danny surges forward for another kiss, this one much more desperate than the last. It’s a hot, heavy kiss that ends with Roy flat against the bed and both of Danny’s hands cupping his face as they explore each other. It’s like no kiss either of them have had before, with so many years of emotion and uncertainty between them it’s intense. Bianca and Adore have drunkenly kissed before, but this absolutely cannot compare. Danny whimpers pathetically against Roy, their hips grinding down against Roy’s thigh.

Roy lets out a shaky breath and grips at the enby’s barely covered ass. From the way Danny is squirming and moaning after only a little contact, Roy knows it’s been a while since Danny has been with someone like this. Roy hasn’t been able to get laid in a while either, rendering them both more than eager for this. Neither of them have a sexual partner in their circles right now, except maybe each other. Just this morning that would’ve been an absurd thought, and now it’s simply what makes sense.

Both of them need sexual fulfillment as much as they need emotional fulfillment, and even the thought of providing it for each other is thrilling. Roy grabs Danny’s bottom lip roughly between his teeth, sucking on it as he rubs his hands underneath Danny’s oversized tank top and over their skin. Danny whines and whimpers so deliciously in response, and Roy loves it.

Roy and Danny pull the little clothing that is off one another, each soaking in the familiar sight of the other being completely exposed. It’s nowhere near the first time they’ve seen each other like this, but it’s another one of those things where it’s simply different this time around. Because now it’s been established they love each other as much more than just friends.

Danny sucks hickeys along Roy’s collarbone, moaning roughly as Roy twists their nipples harshly, their bodies so close and warm wrapped up tight together.

“Think… Think I’m gonna get my nipples pierced,” Danny giggles breathlessly before it’s cut off in a moan of sheer pleasure when Roy pinches them even harder.

“Oh really? You’ve done a lot of slutty things, baby girl, but that is definitely up there,” Roy smirks.

Danny smiles innocently, “It would only make your job easier.”

“What? This job?” Roy asks teasingly, then trails his fingers down Danny’s stomach so they ghost over the enby’s half-hard cock.

Danny gasps, and Roy takes the opportunity to press his lips against theirs all over again, sucking their tongue into his mouth as he teases their cock. They moan and whine and squirm, their fingers gripping and squeezing at the flesh of Roy’s back frantically in response. Roy knows that that’s going to leave a mark, despite the fact that their nails are usually kept short. He doesn’t mind though, in fact it makes him harder knowing that he’s the reason Danny is reacting like this.

Danny’s head falls back against the pillow, feeling heat rush to their cheeks upon seeing the smouldering look in Roy’s eyes as they stare up at him. He’s so fucking gorgeous, all his sharpness and softness in just the right places.

“Tell me what you want,” Roy whispers roughly.

Danny inhales shakily, “Want- Wanna feel you-”

“What do you want me to do to you, Danny? Use your words…”

“Fuck me, oh God please just fuck me, holy shit,” Danny begs, squeezing their eyes shut tight and squirming underneath Roy’s tight hold.

“Shh, that’s so good, thank you,” Roy murmurs, caressing Danny’s cheek, “I’m going to fuck you so hard.”

And Danny just moans. They’ve wanted this from Roy for so long, and so many years were wasted convincing themself otherwise that this really feels like a fucking dream come true. It’s their own little fairytale, just for the two of them. Danny gets to live this fantasy with Roy, and that thought alone is almost more mind blowing than the idea of getting rammed until they can’t remember their own name.

Roy leans across to riffle through the nightstand, and turns back to Danny with lube, a condom, and a devious grin on his face. Minutes later, Danny is a whimpering, begging mess just from two of Roy’s fingers stretching them open. Roy is clearly enjoying it, whispering dirty things in their ear as he slowly tortures them with his fingers. When he slides in a third finger, Danny lets out the filthiest, most inhuman sound Roy has ever heard.

“You are just so fucking needy,” Roy says lowly, pulling out his fingers and quickly rolling the condom on.

Danny nods feverently, their eager words of agreement being almost incomprehensible. Roy grabs their tiny hips in his large hands and slides himself in. That moment is almost pure magic, the connection that had been simmering for so many years finally coming to a boil. Danny sobs from the mix of emotion and sheer pleasure, throwing their head back and forth, panting and begging for more while Roy closes his eyes and takes it all in.

Danny is incredibly warm and tight around him, and after a minute he begins to thrust shallowly, making Danny’s mindless babbling slur together. His thrusts quickly become harsher, aiming specifically for Danny’s spot, his grip on them tightens and he grabs the enby’s cock and starts to lavish it with some much needed attention.

“OhGodohGodohGodoh-” Danny rambles, pressing their face into the juncture of Roy’s neck and collarbone, inhaling his comforting, familiar scent, “So good, feels so good, don’t stop please don’t stop.”

“I’m not going to stop, shh, I’ve got you, fuck you’re so good,” Roy groans in response, his thrusts speeding up and his fingers around Danny’s cock tightening, “Are you about to cum for me? Huh?”

“Yes, fuck,” Danny rasps, “Yes yes gonna cum Roy please let me cum I’m gonna- gonna-”

Roy pumps his hand a few more times and whispers right in Danny’s ear, “Cum for me like a good girl.”

And Danny is a gonner. They moan high and long, their hips twitch rapidly and their whole body shakes with the force of their orgasm, ropes of cum covering Roy’s hand and both of their abdomens.

Danny practically goes limp in Roy’s hold, and just a few thrusts later Roy is undone as well, unable to help thrusting even harder and deeper into Danny’s body as he does. He falls on top of Danny, breathing heavy and ragged, and they hold each other tight. Danny’s arms still wrapped around Roy’s back when he carefully rolls them onto their sides so that they’re facing each other, nearly nose to nose. He gingerly pulls out of Danny, ties the condom, and throws it into the bin that he knows is next to the bed.

Roy cups their chin with his clean hand and stares into their dazed, half-lidded eyes. Danny blinks slowly, the afterglow beginning to wear off.

“I can’t believe it took us seven years,” Danny murmurs, reaching up to thread their fingers through Roy’s currently long hair.

“It was worth the wait,” Roy smiles softly, “And now we have the rest of our lives.”

“Yeah,” Danny whispers, “I get the rest of my life with you.”

Because for Roy and Danny it’s nowhere near over. For them it’s all only just begun.

#rpdr fanfiction #adore delano #bianca del rio #biadore #fluff #smut #canon compliant #by your side #candy cane #tw quarantine #concrit welcome