#Can you imagine how confused and mad people would get at me??? I love it.

[dootznbootz]

Hi. I'm cyberbullying a long dead poet because of his shitty fanfic. Enjoy. I'd love it if you joined me.

(Before you get mad at me, yes, I know Eugammon of Cyrene is an important figure and all that. I'm sick with some sort of flu. Let me cyberbully an ancient dead fanfic writer in peace.)

#I think my favorite is the astronaut one lol #because I wanna see Homer fed up and just start taking people out. #Also Penelope not putting up with some little shit. #You know what? I'm gonna be a bitch to people who bring up Telegonus to me and be like “Oh? You mean Polites' son?👁👁” #just to fuck with people >:) #Can you imagine how confused and mad people would get at me??? I love it. #Eris threw the Golden Apple into Thetis' and Peleus' wedding and I threw this shit into tumblr #guys I'm on weird flu medicine aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #I have not slept much because of it🙃 #Mad rambles #am I funny yet? #shot by odysseus #anti circe #anti madeline miller #Tele-GONE-y #odysseus #penelope #odyssey #the odyssey #tagamemnon #greek mythology #odypen #greek myth memes

[katskitoshi]

"MY TYPE IS..." with TWISTED WONDERLAND

synopsis: you respond to a "what's your type?" question with his name. how does he react?

characters: riddle, trey, cater, ace, & deuce x gn! painfully blunt! reader

includes: cursing, non-explicit makeout mention,

heartslabyul(here), savanaclaw+octavinelle, scarabia+pomefiore, ignihyde+disomania.

grim, as always, was nagging you with questions in front of your crush and group of friends. they're all left to their own devices until grim asks, "what's your type?" and the attention of your crush falls on you for your answer.

riddle rosehearts, dorm leader of heartslabyul.

"my ideal type? well, he's red-haired, with grey eyes, whose short and just happens to be the dorm leader of heartslabyul!"

the "ideal crush" in question was as red as his hair. he almost spits his tea out.

you practically confessed to riddle! or at least told him he's the type you're looking for.

riddle looks at you like you've gone mad, not even realizing he's been actively staring at you.

"[name], are you serious?" he questions, calming himself down. you look at him confused.

"why wouldn't i be serious? was my clear description of you, riddle rosehearts, my crush, not enough?"

he still looks at you confused. riddle fully understands, it's just.. you're being so straightforward about it! he can't handle how blunt you're being with your advances.

you sigh, "since you still aren't understanding, i like you riddle. is that clear enough?"

"no, i am not as red as my hair! ugh, yes, [name]. i understood just well. it just took me a while to get used to how blunt you were. but, i guess i could say you're my ideal type too. and i guess i like you too."

trey clover, vice dorm leader of heartslabyul.

"my type's obviously a green-haired, amber-eyes, glasses-wearing, hot baker with a clover on his cheek."

doth trey's ears deceive him? you obviously just described him. he has green hair, yellow eyes, glasses, and a clover on his cheek. plus, he's a baker!

trey doesn't even realize he's stared at you, the tart he made long forgotten on his plate.

you stare at him like you didn't just say he was your type. "um, [name]?" "yeah?"

trey looks at you, takes a deep breath and asks, "do you like me?"

"of course i do, silly! i wouldn't have described you as my type if i didn't."

trey takes a deep breath once again. thank the great seven.

"oh thank goodness. i liked you too but i didn't really know how to approach it. i was gonna make you a (favorite dessert) with "will you be mine?" on it, but i guess i don't have to anymore. oh? i should still do it? well, i guess you'll just have to come over to heartslabyul tonight for a surprise, dear."

cater diamond, heartslabyul third year.

"do you even have eyes? my type is this really cute guy with orange hair, green eyes, a red diamond on his face, a heartslabyul third year and magicam influencer! aka, the hottest guy in the world!"

he squeals. cater lets out a loud, high-pitched, squeal that would be associated with preppy high school girls in movies. people would have noticed if it wasn't for the already loud cafeteria.

he moves to the seat next to you, holding you by your waist.

"[name], do you really like me?" the smile on his face blinds you, but you can see he has a hint of worry in his green eyes. imagine how disappointed he'd be if you were to like some other heartslabyul guy that looked exactly like him.

you lean in, hooking a arm around his neck and using your hand to push his head into your lips. your lips kiss him and you can taste his lime tart and cherry chapstick.

"is.. is that enough to prove to you that i love you?" you pant after the kiss, looking at cater's reddened face.

"haha! that was more than enough, but how about you prove to me how much you love me a bit more, cutie?"

(you guys make out and have to be forcefully separated becuase the friend group does NOT approve of the pda.)

ace trappola, heartslabyul first year.

"okay, so he's a fucking pain in the ass and a stupid idiot but i love him, y'know? his orange-red hair and the stupid heart on his face and that silly grin his makes when he does something dumb like breaking riddles rules or messes up a potion or something.. he may be a fucking dumbass but he's a dumbass i have a crush on."

first of all, ouch.

he's not a pain in the ass or a stupid idiot! and his heart isn't stupid and his grin isn't silly- wait, did you say you have a crush on him?

ace is flattered, but that would never ever stop him from being a little shit about it.

i mean, you called him a stupid idiot you love, right? so that means that he can be a dumbass and you'll still forgive him, right? of course you will, he thinks.

"[nickname]~ you have a crush on me? aww, you're too cute! of course you'd like me, i'm hot, i have a cute grin,-- what! i'm not an idiot!"

deuce spade, heartslabyul first year.

"what a silly question! anyways, my type is tall, blue-haired, and a real cutie! he has this cute little spade on his face but hes kinda dumb. i love it about him though! the pout on his face he gets when he's confused is adorable!"

queue cute, confused deuce.

"aw look, he's doing the little confusion pout right now! ah, i have the biggest crush on him!" you gush, and the color drains from his face before it comes back as a vibrant red blush.

he bangs his head on the table, making a cute whimpering noise.

when he finally looks up, still blushing, he's met with your smile and almost topples over. you're gonna give him a heart attack!

"don't embarrass me like that! ugh, but since we're on the matter, y-yeah i like you, too."

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x you #twst x reader #twst x you #riddle rosehearts x reader #riddle x reader #riddle x you #cater x reader #cater x you #trey x reader #trey clover x reader #trey x you #ace x reader #ace trappola x reader #ace x you #deuce spade x reader #deuce x reader #deuce x you

[starkwlkr]

Can I request a protective Max going above and beyond to keep his gf or fiancee (you take the call) safe from a stalker? I'd leave the rest to your imagination on how to make it dramatic cause I love drama.

nothings going to hurt you baby | max verstappen

Y/n was always a private person, but that all changed when she met Max. She was often seen in the paddock supporting her boyfriend. She went from staying in on Friday nights to traveling around the world to watch Max race. She realized how many eyes were on her when her friend sent her multiple articles with her name in bold letter on the front cover.

It was the first race of the season and Y/n was once again in the paddock. This time though she was alone. Her friend that usually accompanied her to the races was busy. As she walked towards the Red Bull hospitality, the usual photographers took her picture. Even after years of dating Max, she was never getting used to the constant flashing lights that belonged to the cameras.

When she reached the hospitality, she sat at a table near the window and took out her phone. It was a regular routine for Y/n now. Stay a few minutes in the Red Bull hospitality, meet up with Max before the race then went up to the paddock roof and watched the race from there.

After spending sometime alone, she put her phone in her pocket and walked out of the hospitality, completely unaware that a man had followed her out. In a few short minutes, she found herself entering the Red Bull garage.

“Is Max in his driver’s room?” She asked Max’s engineer, Gianpiero. He nodded with a smile and continued his work.

Y/n walked to the driver’s room and knocked lightly until she heard Max’s voice telling her to come in. She opened the door and saw Max finishing putting on his race suit.

“How are you feeling?” Y/n asked, approaching Max and giving a kiss on the lips.

“Well since you’re here, I’m feeling pretty good. You know I always do well when you’re here.” Max replied. “I don’t want you to be alone so you can stay in the garage instead.”

“Max, I’ll be fine. There’s going to be people around me so I won’t be alone.” Y/n assured him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Some fan might want to bother you. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable during the race.”

“I’ll be fine, Max.”

Of course that didn’t happen.

During the race, she could feel eyes on her. It was kind of normal since most fans recognized her as Max Verstappen’s girlfriend. But this time, Y/n felt different. Her mother always told her to trust her gut feeling. So in that moment she did. Y/n walked down the stairs of the paddock roof and tried to walk to the Red Bull garage but some man ran into her.

“I’m so sorry. Oh, you’re a very pretty girl. I’m sorry.” He told her.

“Excuse me, I need to be somewhere.” Y/n tried walking away but he blocked her way.

“Where to? You look lost.”

“I know where I’m going so please move.” Y/n started feeling scared. She should’ve listened to Max.

“Woah, no need to get mad. I’m a nice guy. Why are girls always mean to the nice guys?” He asked.

“I’m done talking to you.” Y/n pushed past the man. She had a feeling he would start to follow her so she walked a bit faster towards the garage that only the Red Bull team (including her) could enter. When she arrived, she let out a sigh of relief.

She remained in the garage until the end of the race. Max had ended up on the podium once again. Y/n wanted to celebrate with the team and Max, but she once again had the feeling that the scary man would take the opportunity to find her so she stayed in the garage while the team celebrated another win.

When Max arrived to the garage, he first went up to his girlfriend, obviously confused as to why she wasn’t out in the track.

“I’m sorry. I was scared and I should’ve listened to you and stayed here. I’m so sorry.” Y/n rambled as Max gave her a much needed hug.

“Hey, what’s wrong? I’m here.” Max assured her, pressing light kisses to her forehead.

“On the roof, I had this strange feeling so I was on my way down here and this guy wouldn’t let me walk away, Max. He tried following me so I came here as fast as I could.” Y/n explained. “I should’ve listened to you.”

“You’re okay now. You’re here with me and that’s all that matters. I’m not letting some guy hurt you.”

Max had talked with Christian about making sure someone was always with Y/n during a race. The team leader even made sure the garage had more security. Now, Y/n felt more safe. Every race after the incident, she stayed in the garage and if she wanted to watch the race from a different location, someone was always with her, even when it came to watching Max celebrate on the podium. Max wasn’t going to let anyone hurt the woman he loves.

Right after the podium ceremony, he would make sure to check on Y/n before he was pulled away for interviews.

“How are you feeling?” Max asked Y/n as he wiped his face with a towel. Y/n smiled at him and kissed his lips that tasted like champagne.

“I’m more than okay. Thank you.” Y/n replied.

“I have a couple interviews to do. Sarah said she would stay with you.” Max informed his girlfriend.

“Sometimes I feel like Sarah is my babysitter. I love her, remind me to get her something good for her birthday. I’m thinking a trip to the Bahamas.” Y/n chuckled.

“I think she’ll love that.”

#formula 1 #f1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #anon #f1 x you #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen one shot #max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #mv33 #max verstappen fanfic

[nereidprinc3ss]

okay i know this is kind of a specific request but can you do something with professor Spence and uni reader where they get into a spat and argue bc she did something stupid and he gets mad and she’s like “noooo pls don’t be mad i hate when you’re mad at me I’m sorry🥺” bc she literally cannot function knowing she let him down (me with everybody) but he’s like super stubborn and goes all closed up and quiet so that he doesn’t like blow up on her until she finally says like “pls talk to me” and he’s all pissed and like “hell na bitch u crazy!🗣️‼️” but then later he’s like “it’s ok i love u but neva do that shit again ho” then they make up and it’s good again 🎀 ok i explained that so poorly (and comedically if i may) but i hope u get it and pls make it SO DRAMATIC bc I live for drama! like she steals test answers or something or does something that could like get her kicked out of school OR him lose his job 🤔 sigh … idk I’m leaving now. Also i LOOPOOOCE ORRKGOOVI love your fics. Luv em

hey girl (gender neutral) this made me laugh bc genuinely sometimes i write spencer so ooc that is what he sounds like. and i'm not sorry! anyway this is potentially a vyvanse fueled nightmare but i wrote it and i'm posting it MY BLOG MY RULES BITCHESSSS!!!! but genuinely read the content warning LMAO this one got a lil kick to it

warnings/tags: ANGST, HURT/COMFORT, fem!reader, spencer and r get into a for real argument like they're mean to each other, spencer is a lil toxic but its resolved, emotionally neglects reader just for a teeensy second but then he's really nice and sweet again, discussion of his past addic+ion, gets fluffy because i'm not EVIL, gets suggestive at the end bc i am secretly evil.......

a/n: i don't know whats happening. this confuses me just as much as it confuses you. its 3 am in the morning. im gonna post nice happy things soon. Gootbye

“I cannot believe you right now. I don’t even—I don’t even know what to say.” 

“Spencer, you don’t have to say anything. It has nothing to do with you, and I’m not looking for your approval.” 

He looks up from where he’d been rubbing his temples, like you’re a headache, eyebrows raised and lips parted in indignant disbelief. 

“Oh! You’re not looking for my approval? Well thank god for that, because if you were one of my students I would recommend expulsion to the board.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me? I just said I don’t care about your opinion on this, much less your hypothetical opinion from some alternate universe where you have any authority over my education whatsoever.” 

“You distributed an answer key to half of your class! Objectively this is the kind of thing that gets people expelled. I don’t understand how someone so smart could do something so fucking stupid.” 

The words bite more than you were prepared for—but what hurts even more is how much he seems to mean them. In arguments past you’d both said things you didn’t mean, and then would immediately melt into I’m so sorry’s and the fight would resolve itself. Spencer’s clenched jaw and inability to make eye contact with you do not lend themselves to tender apologies. They cannot be attributed to miscommunication. 

You take a step closer to where he’s bracing himself against the countertop, arms crossed defensively in front of your chest. 

“Spencer, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was such a big deal. People cheat in college all the time.” 

Still no reply. His head shakes so minutely you wonder if you’re imagining it. Panic wells in your chest. 

“Please talk to me. I really hate when you ice me out. I’m sorry, okay? Just... please say something.” 

Finally, his eyes slide to you. They lack the fiery anger of moments ago but there’s not much softness there either. His normally warm gaze now feels too abrasive, too cold and sharp on your bare skin. You're exposed, much too soft for that grating look, and it feels like he can see everything that’s wrong with you. 

“Believe me when I tell you this. I am doing us both a favor by not speaking to you right now.” 

And then he’s leaving the kitchen—nothing but a breeze against your cheek and the sound of a door slamming to prove he was ever there. 

The apartment is silent. You stand in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. Spencer very, very rarely gets angry at you to the point of neglect, and you know he’s doing his best with what was modelled for him as a child and his tendency to feel things so deeply it’s nearly disabling; but that doesn’t make it hurt much less. It doesn’t make you feel less abandoned or alone.  

You’re sad, and you’re still pissed, and maybe you’re in just a bit of shock as you robotically move back to your nest of blankets on the couch and resume your schoolwork. What else is there to do? Unless Spencer is right—unless you really are about to get expelled after getting the answer key for an upcoming test from a friend, who then gave it to another friend, and so on. But is that really your fault?  

It’s a struggle to stay focused as your mind keeps drifting back to Spencer in the other room, those cruel words and that cold steely look in his eye that isn’t supposed to ever be aimed at you. It’s not a secret that side of him exists, but it doesn’t belong in this apartment. It’s not something he needs to use against you. He’s supposed to be on your side. But instead, he’d said you should be expelled and essentially called you stupid. And now you’re doing homework for a class at a school you may not even be a student of come Monday. 

---------------------------------------------------

The sound of the office door opening forty-five minutes later spikes your blood pressure and simultaneously makes your heart flutter, because no matter how mad at him you might be, Spencer is still Spencer.  

He comes to stand behind the couch quietly, but you don’t acknowledge him. Maybe your typing gets a bit more aggressive, but aside from that you flat out reject his presence. 

“Can we talk?” 

You let him sweat for a minute as you finish your paragraph. 

“I don’t know, Spencer. Can we? Or are you not done with your temper tantrum?” 

“That is... well deserved,” he sighs, rounding the couch and tapping the bottom of your foot, signaling that he wants you to move your legs. You despise how automatically you comply, pulling your knees to your chest to avoid touching him as he sits next to you. There’s a long moment of silence, in which you resume typing. Spencer scoffs, leaning in slightly to peer at your screen. “Are you doing homework right now? I’m a complete asshole to you and you just... do your homework?"

“What the fuck else was I supposed to do?” you almost-yell, slamming your laptop shut and blinking away potential tears. “The only person I wanted to talk to called me stupid and fucking left!” 

The tears realize their potential once you admit the blunt truth. 

Spencer carefully moves your laptop and pulls you into his arms—and you just let him. There’s not much fight left in you. There wasn’t a lot to begin with. 

“I am so sorry, angel. You’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have yelled, I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have walked away. I overreacted.” 

“Yeah, you really did,” you cry, allowing him to run his hand over your hair. “Why did you do that? Why were you so fucking mean?” 

His voice shakes slightly as he responds, betraying his own anxieties, and a new, unwelcome sense of trepidation slithers through your veins. 

“I was wondering that, too. Even as I was saying it, I knew—I knew it wasn’t what I wanted to be saying. And then I was in the other room and I wanted to be out here, and I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t. But I think I was just scared. Which—I know, doesn’t really make sense, but... I think about when Ethan dropped out of the academy, and ended up doing heroin in New Orleans for three years, and I think about when I almost left the BAU because I was so convinced I’d never get clean that I didn’t even want to anymore, and—and the idea of you losing your education and your direction like that terrified me, probably unreasonably, and I took it out on you. And I’m sorry.” 

“But I’m not like you or Ethan. You don’t have to worry about that. Even if I... even I do get in some sort of disciplinary trouble. That’s a road you don’t have to worry about me going down, ever.” 

He fixes some unseen wrinkle on your shirt.  

“Yeah, but, remember... I used to not be like me or Ethan either. Do you think twelve-year-old Spencer would have ever even considered that of the infinite realities and universes which exist, he was living in one where someday he’d be shooting up in the bathroom at work?” 

“Mm-mm,” you hum, shaking your head and burying your face in Spencer’s shoulder. The sound is more of a plea for him to be less descriptive than an answer to his rhetorical question. It’s still much easier for him to talk about that part of his life than it is for you to have to actually imagine it. You didn’t know him then, but you’ve seen pictures, and you know Spencer now, and it’s... it’s just too much. Too sad. 

“Okay,” he agrees soothingly, still playing with your hair. “I digress. My point is that literally anything is possible, and while it’s not necessarily likely, I more than anyone know that anxiety even over the most improbable of things is never completely unfounded.”  

You sniffle in response, too emotionally and physically exhausted to contribute much to the conversation by this point. Thankfully, Spencer can talk for two. An idiosyncrasy which you love and comes in handy every once in a while. He can play his own devil’s advocate; in this case, you. 

“But that doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you. Ever. I truly, truly, sincerely apologize for that. I never want to hurt you.” 

You let the apology sink into your skin like a salve, soothing every abrasion those earlier words had left in their violent wake. 

After a few minutes, you find the energy to ask a question that might best remain unanswered. 

“Are you still mad at me?” 

He’s quiet for a beat, seemingly contemplative as his fingers trace abstract patterns in a language all his own on your arm. 

“I’m not thrilled. But you were right earlier. It’s not my place to be mad at you for something like that.” 

“Mm... it’s a little bit your place. You’re an actual professor.” 

He chuckles. 

“At an entirely different university.” 

“Thank god,” you laugh. “You and me at the same school would be such an HR clusterfuck.”

While it’s almost a serious matter, the smile in his voice is evident. 

“Yeah... I, uh... try not to think about it.” 

“Okay, but seriously. In your professional opinion. Am I fucked? Like, do I need to prepare an appeal and character witnesses or whatever?” 

Spencer sighs. 

“It was incredibly reckless and irresponsible. You should be ready for disciplinary pushback from the schoolboard if you get caught. That being said... because over sixty of you got a hold of the answer key, I doubt anyone is getting expelled, and even if they did, it would likely only be the TA and the student he gave the key to. It’s my tentative, professional opinion that you’ll probably be fine.” 

You relax slightly, allowing a tension you didn’t realize was there to shed like an old skin. 

“I’m not gonna cheat again,” you promise on an exhale. It’s simply too much risk for too little reward.

Spencer’s response is quiet, and comes much faster than you’d expected. 

“Oh, I know you aren’t. Because if you do, you’re going to have to worry about disciplinary action from me. And I’m not nearly as nice as the dean of your school, darling girl.” 

But something about the way he says it—a thinly veiled threat/promise contrasted by a sweet kiss to your forehead—doesn’t exactly make academic honesty look all that exciting.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

[l13]

what kinda kinks do you think hobie would have? :33

first of all i wanna apologize for this lazy ass writing i'm just UNHINGED i've seen so many hobie edits my mind cannot take this madness i'm seriously in love with him it's not a joke anymore, like i need him bro, I N E E D HIM

NSFW 18+, MDNI

❥ i haven't heard a lot of people say this about hobie but i think he'd REALLY like power exchange, like let my MAN BE A SWITCH PLEASEEEEEE guys please trust me okay hear me out, picture this: hobie laying naked on the bed, chest rising and falling rapidly as you continue to jerk his cock in an torturously slow pace, he's already cum once, so his hips jump every time your fist closes around his tip, and he's groaning, the sound trailing off to a breathy chuckle as he glances up at you, grinning lazily "Y're killin' me, y'know that?" throw in a little nipple play and man's GONEEEE

❥ definitely and i mean DEFINITELY likes dry humping ohhhhh?>>my god??? literally starts as a joke on the rare occasion he sees you bent over, or braced against a counter or smth, he HAS to come and hump you, and it's fine cause you literally do the same thing to him (you're the one that started it). the first time you did it he had laughed the sound giving you goosebumps as he glanced at you over his shoulder with a tiny smirk "You're mental,". but then proceeds to do the same thing to you every chance he gets. One day, you just rolled your hips back against him and the whole vibe changed. You shivered when you heard him inhale sharply from behind you, and his hands circle around your frame to pull you closer. and then he's thrusting against you hard, his clothed cock rubbing against the swell of your ass making you both moan as he drops his head on your shoulder to pant, "About fuckin' time,"

❥ random horny thought and not really a kink: he loves fucking you doggy style in front of a mirror, hand holding you by the throat, his fingers skimming your jaw as he tugs you back to him every time he thrusts forward, his other hand holding onto your ass securely as he snaps his hips against you. And then he's pulling at your throat and suddenly your back is flush against his chest, and the hand that was holding your ass travels around to your pussy to circle at your clit. You're both moaning when you tighten up so much around his cock "Look at you," he's groaning, snapping his hips up instead of forward and your mouth drops open in a silent scream as his cock touches that spongy spot inside you, and he's moaning "Yeah? Right there? You're so fuckin’ pretty, baby, should be fuckin’ illegal," and you're mewling, “You’re so good to me Hobie.. Can feel you so fucking deep inside me oh my God-” “Shit- don’t say that or I’ll cum-” DAAAAAMN okay i got sidetracked again

❥ lil bit of a voyeur maybe, he'd take you even at a secluded space at HQ (would first make sure if you're 100% in tho) he'd fuck you against the wall, with his hand over your mouth as he mutters against your shoulder, "Wanna hear you so fuckin' bad.. but we can't, right? Can't let them know how much of a good girl you are f'me.. Ah, fuuck-S only for my eyes."

❥ CONSENTTTTT consent turns him on so much- and let me explain okay imagine you're just getting ready to suck him off, unbuttoning his jeans, still giggling at his face when you'd said "no, the belts stay on," and then your fingers are finally under the waistband of his boxers and you're looking up at him- "Can I take these off?" and he's so confused bc he's never actually had anyone else ask him that question before "Wh- yes?" and when his cock is finally out in all its glory, and you're licking your lips, you ask again, "Can I touch it?" he can't hold back his smile this time, letting out a giddy laugh, "Baby, 'f course you can, you don't have to ask," idk he just thinks it's the hottest thing ever

❥ extra crack hc cause it just came to me: imagine him being like "You wanna try slapping me in bed?" and you're just looking at him like he's grown two heads but nod slowly nonetheless "....sure?" and then you actually slAP him like 10 minutes later and he's like :C "That felt personal love, m'feelings are kinda hurt." and you're just apologizing over and over and he's laughing at you- "m just playing wit' you. but yeah absolutely not doing that shit again,"

#•ूᡣ𐭩 — hobie #hobie brown x reader #hobie x reader smut #spiderpunk x reader #spider punk x reader

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Just Friends (König x F!Reader)

How to Get Her Back 4/4 (Word count 7.3 k)

Summary: König is a horny, creepy killing machine obsessed with a shy, kind reader who has a raging knife kink.

Tags/warnings: 🔞 Eventual smut, eventual violence, angst, dark romance, canon divergence. Crack treated seriously. Yandere undertones, implied stalking, panty stealing, major character death, size kink, voyeurism, possessive sex, twisted, fluffy feelings. Loner boy/gentle girl dynamic. Protective!Obsessive!Top!König. Reader works as a cleaner at the base. She is described to have hair and prefers to wear dresses off work. Not safe or sane but mostly consensual.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The knife still juts from the table.

She touches it often, fondles the handle like it's her lover.

Days pass, and König escapes her stare with raised shoulders and poorly disguised hurt in his eyes. She feels his eyes on her every single time she's not looking.

He breaks into her room every night, but she never wakes up to his presence. The only thing that tells her the man's been there are the fresh flowers on her table next to the knife.

He brings her flowers every morning, just like he promised, and she keeps the blade there to remind him that he's still in her heart. It's like a silent conversation, and it stabs her stomach full of pain.

On the fourth day, he returns her panties. They're covered in dried cum, and at first, it makes her feel disgusted. Then her heart flutters, a warm feeling settles deep inside her stomach when she imagines him jerking himself off to her underwear amidst his knives, with despair and longing coating the air.

For anyone else, it might be a chilling thing to wake up to: to open eyes to the sight of a brutal tactical knife, freshly picked forget-me-nots and some cum-stained lace. But for her, it's a loving attempt to remind her who she belongs to. It's also a sign that the man is trying to let her go and finally obey her wishes to be left alone.

And she doesn't want to be left alone.

He promised she would never be alone.

On the fifth day, there's no flowers, there's nothing. She starts her day with a horrible, awful bawl. Then she puts on a black dress. It makes her look odd, like she's in mourning, but it also gives her… power, somehow. Even if it's another cute kind of cotton babydoll dress, it makes her look more austere.

“König, wait.”

She chases him down this time: runs to his retreating form that stops the instant she calls his name. He’s tense when she walks the last steps to him and hugs him from behind. The familiar scent of tea tree and gasoline and sweat and guns bring a visceral memory of madness to her mind. It’s an ambrosia of crude virility, and she's missed him, God, that she's missed him.

It's also safety. Because no matter what anyone says, he is the only one who knows her, sees her, sees right into her core, her very soul.

He slowly places a hand on hers, the arms that embrace his narrow, treelike middle.

"Engel…"

The voice comes out tight and strained. He caresses her hand with hesitation and swallows.

"I'm confused.. I don't know what you want me to do."

"Come with me," she whispers in his back. He has no gear on, and she can feel his abs through the black shirt, the way his shoulder blades flare against her cheek with shallow breaths. "If you want…?"

"Ganz sicher."

She takes him by the hand and guides him to her room. People look at them with pity and dread, and she feels like they’re in high school where people were divided into groups of popular and unpopular.

She knows where she and König would’ve belonged. Where they belonged now…

And she just doesn't care anymore.

When the door to her room shuts behind him, she feels a little tug near her heart. She had nearly forgotten how big König looks inside her little room, the space she has tried to turn into a cozy home even though she doesn't view the base as her home like the soldiers do. It's just a place for her to reside in when she's working.

But he does not fit into a normal society like she does. The base must be the closest thing to a home for him. Not every elite soldier is a lunatic perhaps, but König certainly couldn't find any other job in the modern world that would cater to his needs without sending him behind bars.

But he was supposed to kill only in the field. Only somewhere far, far away.

Why did you do it?

Why…?!

That's what she meant to ask when they're behind closed doors, but something quite different comes out instead.

"Did you miss me…?"

She stands before him, holding her hands in front of her, looking probably quite silly clad in black.

"I've been in hell ever since I left, Engel."

Christ have mercy…

Normal men just didn't talk like that.

"Will you forgive me?" He looks her up and down, but the calm, proud posture, the way he holds his chin high behind that dark shroud tells her he's not used to begging. She has a feeling that this question is asked only because Soap suggested it would be a good idea to apologize for making her so upset.

"It's not me you should be–" She sighs. "Look… That man had a wife. König, I think he had a kid and everything."

His eyes are covered in a veil of disinterest only she can pierce. There's actually so much going on behind that odd, distanced stare. But what’s horrifying is that he clearly doesn’t agree with her on this matter.

"I kill people every week," he declares. "Just not in the break room."

His logic leaves her wordless for a moment. The officer was not an enemy, he was not part of some foreign military, his only crime was that he was in a hurry…

She has barely even opened her mouth to speak before he finally defends himself.

"How do you know his wife is not secretly happy with the news?"

The question is like a bucket of ice dipped in her head. She had prepared herself for almost anything but this. König only tilts his head and narrows his stare.

"Would you want to be wife to that kind of man?"

Her mouth opens on its own; her jaw would fall to the floor if it could do such a thing. His worldview unfolds before her in full, and it should disgust her: but all she feels is an odd thrill in her stomach from realizing this man is not only possessive; he's also fiercely traditional.

"He just spilled some coffee on me," she whispers in soft, tender horror. "He just happened to have a bad day."

"How many times a week did he have a bad day?"

The defense is solid, even if it's preposterous. The man was rude and disrespectful, yes. To everyone, every day, probably continued the abuse at home, too. But he didn't deserve to be killed for it. Still, König doesn't seem to find any fault in his way of thinking.

"I can tell when people are evil," he crosses his arms over his chest as a final note.

Evil…

Evil.

She's left blinking, then she finds her tongue again.

"You can't just… deal punishment like that," she huffs.

"Why not?"

Jesus Christ…

His arms are still over his chest, and he looks… so big, so powerful, like an omnipotent being.

Probably thinks he is.

"Will you go to jail?" She changes the subject because arguing with this kind of man seems futile. Downright hopeless.

"No," he says with perpetual calm. "Would you want to see me in jail?"

"...No."

He finally unravels his arms and takes a few steps toward her. That swaying lounge is intoxicating and seductive, even when he doesn't mean it as such. It's just the way he walks, but it makes her woozy.

"Engel. You are too… kind for this world."

More odd arguments are laid out before her, more confusion and love and pain. He raises a hand to touch her arm and make his point clear. The weight of him is heavy and adult, his military clothing is in blaring contrast to her tiny, childish dress.

"You don't understand it now, but perhaps someday you will."

The man looks like he doesn't quite know what to do with her. She's a child in his eyes, but something in this lunacy tells her she's dealing with a child, too: a boy who no one ever loved.

"My little angel. Always wearing pretty dresses," he says more softly now.

"I'm not an angel."

"Yes you are," he rules without effort. "And you look good in everything. But you shouldn't wear black."

"Why not…?"

"Because you belong with flowers."

Her heart aches, her eyes prick with burning tears. He's self-aware, that's for sure. He knows what he has done to her, what he is doing to her. And he wishes to spare her from him.

"I thought you liked black," she peeps, her mind and will and defense breaking.

He doesn't say anything, but his hand brushes down her cheek, then cups her chin softly. That same hand must be ironclad when it grips his enemies and brings them to his blade.

"I like this dress," she tries to quarrel, voice shaking.

"And I know a knife that would go perfectly with it."

His eyes are warm. There's even a passing sadness in them. She's relatively sure that he's not talking about butterfly knives any longer – she's almost certain that König hasn't gifted his weapons to any other human being on this earth.

“How about we take off that pretty little dress now, hmm?”

The time for the compulsory explanations is over in his mind, and it’s time for sex. He knows that his exile has ended, that whatever liminal space they walked in for a few days wasn’t enough to rid herself of him. There’s no turning back anymore, and he looks at her with amused hunger when she obeys his suggestion which is, in truth, a command.

Her fingers do not shake anymore as she undresses for him, but a shiver goes through her guts: that stare is a look from beyond. He’s a madman, and falling more in love with her every day, even if the only way he knows how to love is by stabbing people with his cock or his knife.

“Lie down,” he gives her more orders when she stands before him with nothing on.

It’s futile, completely futile to pretend that she doesn’t want this. It’s almost like an act, the way she slowly and demurely obeys his command. In reality, she wants nothing more than to be devoured by him.

He takes his clothes off while she waits for him on the bed like an injured bird. He rips, then throws his gloves off like they have done something naughty, all the while his gaze is fixed on her. She has missed the sight of that faint hair on his abs, missed that broad chest, missed how his muscles bunch even when he gets out of a shirt that weighs practically nothing in his hands.

The long, veined cock flies out from his pants with a demanding bounce that makes her swallow. They form an odd pair on the floor: her little dress and his huge woodland camos. His eyes are surrounded in black paint under the eternal mask, but otherwise, he's the palest man she has ever seen.

Her breasts rise and fall with aroused breaths as he settles himself beside her, naked and blazing. His cock is pure fire when it gets trapped between them, and he's already drooling hot precum on her thigh.

He's gentle, kind of. Slides a hand over her shivering stomach, palms one breast, then takes a nipple between his fingertips and gives her a pinch.

“Did you miss me too?”

The hood makes him look like a hangman, and he’s infuriatingly patient now. She expected him to rail her like a sex toy right after the door was closed.

"Yes."

He releases her, and the callous descends with a gentle, deliberate caress to her waist.

"Then you're the first who ever did."

She just might be the first woman he's gentle with, too, and she cannot help but think if it's because of what she said just before he killed that poor man. If the last piece of the puzzle locked in place when he realized how much she admired him. If her confession also made him stake his claim in the loudest possible way, announcing everyone that he's her protector.

It's not her fault that the man's dead, but she should be ashamed: she's wet already when the murderer's fingers delve further down to meet her folds. He disappears somewhere in her wetness, and her thighs rise and drift apart to give him full access.

And it's always like this: she spreads legs for him with a helpless, longing stare, he takes in what belongs to him with dark, pleased hunger.

He finds her clit in no time, drags his thumb over it, and she gasps. Her breaths come quick now, her nipples are shot to the sky and her back is already arching when he delves down and slides one finger inside. It's long and lean, and her cunt grips him like they have been apart for four weeks instead of four days.

He sighs under the mask, just from her greedy response. She wants to touch him too, but doesn't dare to move when he's looking at her like that. He starts to finger her gently, first with one, then two digits while attending to the tight nub on top. And he's good with a knife, quick with his hands, so what did she expect?

But she’s also sad and mad. Because he definitely knows what he’s doing. And it makes her think…

"Have you had a lot of women..?"

Her question is a mouse's whisper. His fingers halt inside her; they spread her with delicious torture.

"A few," he says. "Back in Austria."

He buries his face in her neck and nuzzles his way to her ear. The bag of darkness is soft and hot, but nothing compared to his heated whisper.

"But they were nothing like you."

He punctuates the declaration by curling the fingers inside her. She bites her lip to stifle a filthy, needy moan. He even grinds his hips against her: that cock is like a heated spear against her soft thigh, and more cum oozes out to trickle down her leg.

"How many men have had you, Engel?"

He doesn't ask: how many men has she had. She may not be his plaything, but she is his possession. In his mind, she belongs to him and only him, no matter who has come before. But the murderous passion with which he waits for her answer makes her flustered, and she bolts her mouth tight in an indication that she will not disclose this information.

"Gut. Don't tell. I would kill them all."

Oh.

Oh…

"Would you like that…?"

"No," she whimpers.

"Yes you would."

“I don’t–I don't want you to–”

“Shh.”

He’s working those fingers smooth and quick, and she’s already leaking on his hand, probably on the bed, too… The room is filled with sighs and whimpers and sobs as he fucks her with slick, wet sounds. She's close the edge in mere minutes, but he won’t let her finish.

Instead, he pulls out just when she's about to tighten around him.

"Why-why did you stop?"

"Angel... Take me in your mouth," he rasps, breathless too despite trying to disguise it. She briefly wonders if this is some sort of a punishment. That perhaps she’s ordered to give him a blowjob just when she’s about to come – after all, she has dared to keep him waiting for days.

But that’s not the case, it seems, as she moves with heavy limbs to fulfill his wish.

"Nein… Other way around. I want to taste you."

The perverse suggestion in the break room turns into a reality as she realizes what he wants to do. Her heart is pounding when she crawls on top of him to meet that leaking cock. How exactly is that thing even going to fit inside her mouth?

A sudden shyness takes her as her thighs are forced into a wide-legged spread from straddling the broadest man on earth. She's exposed to the cold air only for a second before his breath hits her. The shortest shadow of a stubble on that usually clean-shaven chin meets her soaked cunt with hunger.

“Ah… Take it– in your mouth,” he moans orders to her folds, and her cunt clenches immediately, just from hearing that accent and that voice.

She moves to give him a shy lick, sweeps a tongue over that tip to clean him from all that precum. He goes tense under her and breathes heavily when she wraps her hand around him, wraps her mouth around the weeping slit.

He tastes of salt and sin, and the minute she tries to take more of him in, he groans with a dry throat. It's a hot, broken breath that travels straight inside her. It’s too much – the position is far too stimulating, it’s over the top wicked.

And then he starts to lick her. It messes up the blowjob that has barely even started. She knows his hood must be almost completely off, otherwise he wouldn't be able to breathe.

"Take a bit more, Engel," he urges between the long slathers that already sound lewd. There's simply no way to take it fully in, he’s far too long for that. The last thing she wants to do is gag on him. But she does a good enough job, tries to concentrate on breathing through her nose as she goes as deep as she can.

"That's…more like it…"

It’s a relieved notion somewhere behind her before he continues with the agonizingly slow licks. Fat and flat-tongued, the work of a famished man. For someone who's so clumsy with social interaction, he’s infuriatingly good at giving pleasure to women. The tip of his tongue grazes her clit, and causes a muffled moan – her mouth is full of him but she just cannot help herself.

And arms of steel close around her middle the minute she whimpers on his cock. They pull her closer to his face – he wants to hear her make noise, then, and her will to compete arises. She wants to make him moan too. She ups the pace, flattens her tongue on him every time she retreats…

"Where did you learn to–nnh…"

She nearly laughs at his surprise, at their silly little competition. He's shocked, probably jealous too, of her past and the imagined cavalcade of men who may or may not have been inside her mouth before him. She swirls a tongue around the tip every now and then, wraps her lips tight around him, and goes even deeper.

"Verdammte Scheiße.. I'm not going to last long…"

Strong thighs around her power up, and he has stopped licking her altogether: he's just panting in her pussy and holding on to her hips while waiting for the upcoming wave.

"You know what to do, ja?" He pants that question like she doesn't know he's about to shoot a load on her tongue soon.

"Don't make a mess," he shares advice with a sly tone to his voice. "Unless you want to clean after…"

He gives a short laugh as if the joke is funny. As if that's a clever thing to say to a cleaning lady. It makes her grip him harder, and he's close, so close: he's not even moving anymore, everything's just completely rigid under her body and inside her mouth.

"I'm fucking–cumming…"

He spills with a long groan, moans against her cunt, cries inside her with pain. The seed is hot and heavy, it shoots right down her throat even in this position. She does the best she can to not make that mess, but it's hard work when a giant cock pulses in her mouth.

"You're perfect, angel," he sighs behind her, tries to feed more of himself inside her mouth by rolling his hips.

The praise makes her pump and suck him even more, get every last drop out, and a tremble goes through her lover. She has to take support from the bed until the earthquakes recede. His cock is a clean mess after, and she's a mess too: overworked, and shy, and victorious.

They're both left panting: she tries to catch some breath there between his thighs after everything, but she's not allowed to rest and recover. The grip around her middle pulls her back, and a breathless man trying to lick her like it's the end of the world is not only far too much, it's unbearable. She's already overly sensitive and needy from the four days of barren grief.

"It's too much…" She tries to tell him, but he won't listen. If anything, it only spurs him on.

"König, I can't," she wails softly while resting her head on his thigh.

"Yes you can."

A feverish tongue dips inside her as deep as it goes. It forces her legs apart, she spreads herself all over his face completely unwillingly. There's no mercy for her as he flicks a tongue over her clit, plunges a tongue inside her as deep as it goes, returns to the nub again – does it again and again and again like it's some secret code meant to break her.

"You like that, huh?" His rough voice is muffled by her cunt, he sounds both parched and wet.

"Hm? Talk to me," he demands an answer although it should be obvious that she's losing her mind from his treatment.

"Yes," she mewls while being spread so crudely wide for him. "I… I love it…"

"Hah. You sound like a little cat," he laughs, pleased, then gets to it again. She's so close now that she can feel the growing waves. Her thighs are not just shaking, they're trembling.

"So pretty and so wet," he comments between the licking and dipping, voice covered with smoke from all the lust. And he's hard again, too: right next to her face, and she could cry actual tears – what if he plans on fucking her too after this? It's too much, she can't even take this, she can't…

But she does.

Her back starts to arch just before the orgasm. She's not weeping yet, but every noise she makes sounds like she's crying her heart out.

"Slow down, slow–down, please…"

She's a one-woman choir of tight pleas. She tries to muffle them by burying her face somewhere in his thighs and musk. The tongue dips in and out like he's a machine and not a man, and the first wave hits unexpectedly, like a searing, white-hot blade.

"A–ah!"

The climax swallows her, she starts grinding against that face without meaning to. He only laughs and buries his nose and tongue deeper into her slickness. The arms around her hold her like iron bars, his breaths hit her along with his tongue like she's strapped to a torture device.

Her cunt is sloppy, and throbbing, and he is a torturer, licks her even when she's lying on top of him in ruin: a devastated, trembling heap of a woman who's lost everything.

"Stop–König, you need to stop…"

Her weak whispers do nothing. His tongue sweeps her from front to back until she's crying on top of him. Frail fingers try to claw his thighs but grasp nothingness.

When he finally relents, he does it with another laugh. Then he gives her a last lick: a total bully, snorts a chuckle when a tremble goes through her entire body from just that single, fat sweep.

"Mmm. That was good. Right?"

"M–mh…"

There are tears in her eyes, but not one comes out. Her pussy throbs and winks with the aftershocks, and his hand moves up and down her back like she's that little cat.

"You're mean," she sobs. Complains.

"Heh… you didn't like it?"

"I did," she sniffs, and his hand moves to caress her thigh.

"I know you did. I know you. Everything about you."

He sounds merciful at last, pats her leg softly.

"Come here. I'll take care of you."

When she turns and crawls back to him, his mask is fully in place. He receives her with open arms and speaks more softly than ever.

"I have to take care of you after. Isn't that so?"

"Yes…"

She holds onto him, because he's the only thing that's solid in her world at this point. His aftercare is the most tender thing she has ever known: her hair is being caressed gently, the tension in her neck and back is soothed with long, loving strokes. He buries his mask in her hair and inhales her after-sex scent like it's a whole offering of incense.

"Angel. You feel like… like it's my birthday."

His statement brings another round of tears to her eyes. Instinct tells her that birthdays might've been the only happy days of the year for this man.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

He sounds worried when she's so quiet and timid again. Her heart settles slowly into a warm pool of love, she presses herself against him with fervor, and he squeezes her in turn like she's the most perfect birthday present ever.

"No."

I really needed that.

I need you…

"I will never let you go again," he promises. "Never. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she whispers. "I don't– I don't want you to go."

"Little one. I'm so glad I found you."

He takes her palm and uses it to brush away the hood from his lips. The violent edge is always taken away after sex, and the devouring is gentle, the passion is blunt. His kiss is soft; sweet.

"König…" She's raw and bare in his arms, her adoration reflects back to her from his blues. "Why did you pick me?"

"You're the one who picked me, Engel. I just answered your call."

He takes in the effect this truth has on her, then takes her breath away with another kiss. A small giggle erupts in the lazy afternoon as he threatens to crush her with a bear hug. Her hand steals its way further under the mask: she meets smooth skin and a collection of even smoother bumps.

"Why can't I see your face..?"

"It's not a pretty sight," he sighs. "Father liked to cut me when I was little."

The laziness leaves her body that very instant. The man is detached, distant: as if he's sharing something trivial, the city he grew up in or his favorite subject in school.

She doesn't know whether to feel pity or terror, but what he says next sends even more ice down her spine.

"Now I cut those who are evil."

Everything starts to make perfect sense.

Why he was bullied at school, why people fear him. Why disrespectful, cruel men deserve to be knifed and why women and wives are angels. Why he wears a mask.

It's not sound reasoning, but it is a strategy, perhaps. Survival… A defense mechanism.

And offense is the best defense…

She had been right: this man is incurable, only in ways she could never have guessed.

Afterwards, he shows her his knives.

His room is full of them: combat knives, throwing knives, bowie knives, daggers, bayonets, balisongs, two machetes, a kukri, knives she doesn't even have a name for… There's swords and sticks and a riot shield. There's only one bed, nothing more, not even a nightstand.

And the room is also full of guns.

Assault rifles, sniper rifles, shotguns, handguns; there's scopes, tripods, gloves, gas masks, a ghillie suit, pouches, plate carrier vests, magazines, grenades, even a launcher.

The room is filled with violence.

And she didn't know what she expected.

Some "Hot Gun Babes" wall calendar and a few pocket knives? That he would play by the rules and keep weapons and gear where they were stored instead of in his fucking room?

He gives her his third gift that pairs well with her black dress, or any dress, for that matter. Another knife, but not the kind he kills people with, nor the flimsy kind used for entertainment purposes.

She receives an automatic switchblade, simple but pretty. The double-edged blade looks almost feminine, the way it curves into a sharp, dainty tip. The handle is made of sturdy, polished wood; it's incredibly beautiful and so dark it's nearly black. The knife is only a threat when it's flicked open: all in all a piece that isn’t what it seems.

"Hier. Good little blade. Would take it wherever I go."

"Thank you."

"Anything for you, Engel."

She kisses him after his gift. She kisses the white scar on his jaw, lifts the mask a bit more, and he doesn't stop her. He doesn't stop her, not even when she finds more keloid cuts and kisses them too.

And he's… simply a man.

There's a human under all that darkness.

It's not a pretty sight, perhaps, but for those scars, she couldn't love him more.

"You're not afraid of me," he sounds surprised when she takes in the violence done to his face with tenderness in her gaze.

"No."

He's speechless. The barricade covering his eyes is permanently broken, and she can see him, all of him.

She falls to her knees and opens his pants, gives the man another round of love. He looks at her with pain and pleasure; a pale, adoring god. Strokes her hair gently while she gets drunk on him like a succubus, wants him to spill that white on her face and all over her pretty black dress.

"Cum on my face, König."

She looks at him with angel eyes while saliva and drool make a rope from her mouth to his throbbing cock. But there is nothing left of the celestial, nothing more than a sweet, fallen angel, and a safe space just for her and him.

"Please…?"

Ruin me.

He hesitates a few seconds, then grabs his cock in an iron fist like it's heavy artillery.

"Whatever my angel wants, she shall have."

. . . . . .

He brings her flowers every morning and fucks her every night.

Sometimes he catches her when she's outside in the sun, reading a book or watching the clouds. He carries her off to the woods and takes her against a tree like they're the first man and woman on the earth after tasting the forbidden apple. They share a few hushed laughs and more than a few desperate kisses under the hood, then he brings her back to earth, straightens her dress like a gentleman before leaving to have a date with death.

He takes her out to eat sometimes, takes her to the shooting range. Calls her his little Wildkatze when she takes a liking to one of his shotguns. He takes her hand when they stroll through the grass and sings an old love song from his homeland. He has a beautiful voice, especially when he forgets he's in company. Or perhaps she's just special like that…

They share a secret language in the base. Whenever he sees her, he draws his knife and throws it in the air ("I miss you") or twirls it around ("The things I will do to you tonight…"). Sometimes, he just places a hand on the handle of the cruel blade. That stands for 'You're mine'.

It's the closest thing to I love you before either of them have spoken the actual words. Or then it's the closest thing to I love you he's capable of.

She gives him a small smile in return, puts a hand in her pocket and fondles the gift she carries everywhere she goes. He knows it's a nod to his secret messages. It stands for 'You're my everything'.

She keeps the switchblade with her even when she's wearing a dress after work. Red this time, the color of passion.

She wants to surprise him: König always comes to her before nightfall, but this time, she wants to go and visit him. She wants him to take her in the middle of black steel and acrid gunpowder while she's dressed in blood.

"Be a darling and fix me a cup of coffee, will you?"

She's stopped by Phillip Graves of all people. Another man who has never paid her any attention. Apparently, red cloth is the same thing for evil men as it is for the enraged animals in bullfighting shows.

She does stop, but she doesn't obey his wishes. She just stares him down like he's filth: another thing she thought she could never do.

I'm not your coffee girl.

"C'mon honey. I've had a bad day." The man only seems to feed off from her silent scorn: like it's some dark game they're playing now. "You could make it so much better."

For fuck's sake…

Here is a man who disrespects everything about her: her position as a cleaner, her value as a woman, her rank as a shy being who is too kind for this world. She's simply a doll who doesn't know how to kill, who doesn't know how to say no. This man however, won't take no for an answer.

"I'm not here to serve coffee," she says with pure ice.

"Is that so?"

"Yes. And I'm off duty, too."

"Thought we could have a little chat, you and I."

"Why?"

"You seem like an interesting woman."

He seems pleased with the fact that for some reason, she's still here, that he has her attention. Thinks he's winning her over with some yucky flirting.

"And wearing a red dress like that…" He tsks, as if it's a crime for a woman to wear red. "Red can drive a man crazy, darling."

She understands why she has been invisible to everyone except König up until this point.

Because deep down, she knows if she would carry herself in full, show herself to the world as the woman she truly is, she would instantly attract love, and power, and hunger, and lust.

"I'm going to go now, sir."

"Tell you what. You serve me that coffee and I'll let you go."

She catches sadism in that stare. And to think she had always found Graves to be somewhat… arrogant, perhaps, but not cruel. The man obviously has a Napoleon complex, but he was not supposed to be sadistic.

How wrong she has been.

She knows she could just get out of the situation by filling that mug the bastard can't fill himself because of some stupid need to have a powerplay moment with an innocent little girl who happens to wear red.

But she doesn't want to. König would have ripped this guy's head off by now.

"I'm off duty," she repeats.

Fuck these men who are always looking for a plaything.

Graves rises from the chair. She's both cold and sweaty by the time he has taken a step, two, three.

But men are a bit stupid sometimes.

They think dresses don't have pockets.

When he takes the fourth and last step, with joy-tinged cruelty in his eyes, she flicks the knife out and open, and simply stabs him in the supposed direction of the organ called heart.

It feels thrilling, pure power: to sink that knife there and catch a man – a soldier of all people – unawares.

So this is what it feels like…

The hurt in his stare doesn't necessarily come from pain, but from the realization that he has made a huge miscalculation.

He looks down at the small knife that will be the end of him, then at her, the woman he thought was just a simple, shy cleaner he could bully into submission.

"You fucking–bitch," he gasps. Weakly.

By the time she pulls the knife out and stabs him again, she's somewhere far away. It hits him in the stomach, and he still doesn't do anything about it, and that's the moment she finds pity, and mercy, and horror.

She turns and stumbles, then runs from the room, unsure if the thump on the floor behind her is real or imagined.

"You fucking whore…!"

The shout is real enough though, and she runs, runs, with a sharp little knife in her hand for what seems like an eternity. That flight is a prolonged medieval torture moment that ends in front of König's door.

Her titan is as calm as ever when he opens the door, and tilts his head when he sees she's breathing fast.

"I think I killed Phillip Graves," she informs with eyes wide.

He blinks, then immediately looks at her hand, the knife, the blood. She goes to him, lifts a hand to his shirt in a desperate attempt to find support. There's not even that much blood. She thought killing would be much messier.

König said it would be messy.

"I… He…"

Her hands won't even shake. All her senses are blown wide and sharp, she sees everything, hears everything, but her hands won't shake.

Is she a psychopath?

"I killed Phillip Graves," she repeats, looks at his chest, clutches at the knife, clutches at his shirt.

The door behind her closes, and König takes hold of her shoulders with warm, warm hands.

"Well done, Engel," he says with such joy, such unbound pride that it snaps her back into reality.

Her jaw starts to tremble, her teeth clatter, she raises her eyes to him…

"He… He wanted coffee, and to talk, and he liked my dress, and–"

"Did he touch you?"

He asks it like it's far more important than what she has just done. She has to shuffle through her memory, but she finds no recalling of Graves laying a single finger on her.

"No."

He was about to. Right?

He was. He threatened me–

"Don't shed tears for him," König says as he looks down at her with mesmerized awe and infatuation. "I can promise you he doesn't deserve them."

Then he hugs her, squeezes her and just holds her, and she's still holding on to the murder weapon.

What will everyone say? What will my friends say?

"My little angel is good with a knife," the titan laughs proudly somewhere high above her.

People have killed each other since the dawn of time.

These things happen.

I'm not the first murderer on this planet.

"My poor little… He was a bad man, Engel. I promise you that."

It's not a big deal. He was a killer too.

He could've died in the field…

"I'm going to jail," she whispers on his shirt. She wants to let go of the knife, but fears it might hurt him or her when it falls.

And she remembers she's not dealing with normal people.

"They will kill me for this," she says with distant realization.

"No they won't," he strokes her hair like she's the best pet he has ever had. "I will take the blame. It was my knife, ja?"

She pushes herself away to look at him, then nods slowly. Her jaw just won't stop trembling.

"Good girl," he pulls her against him again, so fondly that it forces out a whimper.

"Mh."

"Come here," he coos while already holding her so impossibly close. He's surprisingly good at this: at comforting her. Or then it simply feels uncommonly good to have someone sturdy to hang on to while her life and identity are falling apart.

"I'm not sure if he's dead," she whispers when the embrace lingers on. König breaks the hug immediately.

"You didn't confirm the kill?"

She must look like a shy cleaner again, because his resolve is stone cold and solid.

"Engel, I will go and finish it. Where is he?"

She tells, because he would find out anyway. He would start a manhunt and cause even more ruckus.

But when his hand reaches the doorknob, when he's already about to go and finish her crime on top of taking the full blame for it, he turns.

"Do I have your permission?"

Her jaw slowly stops trembling, and a soft sweetness spreads through her heart. The elite soldier, the mass murderer, asks for her permission.

She is more than just special…

"Yes," she whispers, and he gives her a curt nod before storming out the door.

And he's not living in the 21st century.

Instead, he walks in the world of gladiators, rages in a blood-drunk arena, lives in a time where killing was the norm. He solves problems with physical force: it's just that simple. There is no complex society, there are no rules other than the rules of the heart and the loins.

Anyone who disrespects her will get the blade, anyone who might take her away from him will make him do whatever is in his power to prevent it.

And he has the ultimate power: the power of violence.

He comes back surprisingly clean: only a tiny speckle of blood on his camos and some vivid-colored grime on his hands.

"Done."

She nods with solemn silence. She's done, too. Done with everything, because everything's gone. No matter how high the sun is, she will walk in darkness from now on.

"I believe you Engel. He swore he didn't touch you."

And God.

She might be special, but a dying enemy's, a man's word is more worth to him than hers. As if she would try to protect Graves from his wrath by lying.

And Graves wasn't even dead…

But he is now. Probably tortured too to get the truth out about not soiling her with his paws.

"Did anyone see you..?"

"No. But they will know it was me."

It's another gift to her. Another murder. And her purity, intact, in exchange for a compliment, a testimony of his character during a lazy coffee break. For a few kisses on his scars of abuse. For letting him fuck her like a beast.

Her gifts are burning tears, soft flesh and tight little cries…

His gifts are cold, black steel, hot, white cum and a stream of crimson blood.

"Thank you…"

"I would do anything for you." He bows his head, a little nod to inform her that he is hers to command. "Anything you want, just ask."

She's at home in hell, filled with guns and knives and a fallen god. She knows he will take her again tonight, just like he has done every night in the past weeks. In every position imaginable, grunting, howling, panting, laughing how sweet she is, asking if she likes what he is doing to her. She has always whispered yes through tears of hot joy.

Sometimes, they come together and their gazes lock, and it feels like drifting into a starless space with him. He strokes her hair and coats her with whispers of love before they fall asleep. They always curl up together in the cover of womblike darkness, with soft little smiles on their faces, safe from all evil.

"Can you keep me safe…?"

It's a sad little question, but she doesn't feel weak. She knows he is lost in her too: especially when she's wearing a dress the color of blood, especially when she looks at him like he's her God.

"Please keep me safe."

He comes to her carefully, answers her summons. She's pulled into a familiar embrace, and she doesn't even think about Graves anymore: she thinks about whether König will take her on the bed that smells of acid sweat or on the wall next to the gun rack.

"Always, Engel. I promise."

She holds the most powerful weapon in her tiny little hand. A dark, fallen titan who has risen from the depths of the earth to pledge himself to her, body and soul, while her innocent little dresses flutter in the wind and make everyone believe she's a victim. But she doesn't feel sorry.

Because it's just like he said.

They belong together, she and him.

🖤 🖤 🖤

Taglist:

@ghostinvenus @konigsleftkidney @stillinracooncity @valenspuppy @koionthewalls

#könig x reader #könig x female reader #könig x you #könig smut #könig fanfiction #könig #mw2 smut #mw2 fanfic #konig x reader #könig mw2 #call of duty #mw2 x reader #yandere könig #könig imagine #just friends #just friends fic

[synthetickitsune]

Jun (SVT) | Not Jealous fluff | 0.8k | gn!reader A/N: i once again blame @hanniedream and her silly bf jun ideas for making me stuck in jun brainrot >:(

“You’re doing it again,” you accuse him with a pout when you join him again at the bar. 

“Hm?” he frowns, turning his body towards you.

“You’re not jealous at all,” you sigh, “Someone flirts with me and you don’t care at all.”

It’s a tradition at this point - someone lowkey flirts with you with Jun in sight, you decline them, and life goes on. Your boyfriend hardly ever so much as comments on it anymore.

You’re not actually bothered by it, but today you wish he’d show a little more feeling at someone flirting with his partner. He senses you’re upset, and even if he thinks it’s more the late hour getting to you than you actually being mad, it’s always safer to check or at least distract you.

“Wanna know my secret?” he smiles, gently putting his hand over your knee and slowly stroking your skin to soothe you.

“Yeah,” you jump at the opportunity. He huffs at your sudden enthusiasm, then takes a couple of deep breaths. He meant to pull out some lame joke, but he’s not so sure he can do it anymore. His mind just goes a little blank when you look at him like this. And so the painful truth is his only way.

“I imagine they’ll flirt with me next.”

“...come again?”

“I’ll think they’ll be flirting with me next and how I’d feel in that situation,” he rephrases carefully, feeling his ears beginning to burn up.

“Jun, look, I love you but what the actual fuck. Please explain the thought process,”

“You always say I’m hotter than you,” he gives you an expectant look, and you play along and nod, “Say it.”

“Yeah, you’re hotter than me,” you roll your eyes, and you definitely do not smile seeing the happy grin on his face.

“Well then naturally, they’ll see you and be interested and flirt, but when they see me, they’ll come right over instead,” he explains, slowly growing embarrassed and looking to you for support. You’re a little too focused on the fact that this sounds a lot like when a long time ago it was you explaining why you’re insecure when people see you together. He seemed so confused about it, and you wonder if it actually caused some damage. “And yeah, I just think that and how uncomfortable I’d be if someone came onto me like that when I already have you and you’re everything I want and need. And you’re out of their league too!”

You jump a little when you realize how close Jun leaned towards you while you were trying to comprehend what he’s telling you. His skin looks adorably flushed, and you know it’s definitely not from the very much non-alcoholic juice and vodka cocktail he’s been drinking. You close the gap between you, resting your forehead against his.

“I think I want to marry you,” you sigh, closing your eyes before you can see the relieved smile that you know would make you propose right then and there. 

“So are you still mad at me?” he asks, taking your hands in his.

“I wasn’t mad, I just think it’s unfair,” you shake your head before kissing him. He hums into the kiss, sliding a hand behind your head. It moves to rest around your shoulders when you pull away.

“But you know, Jun, that last guy was kind of hot,” you mention off-handedly as you swirl the drink in your glass.

“Hm, yeah, he had a nice body,” Jun leans back, tilting his head in thought.

“And you still thought I was out of his league? Still thought you’d mind him flirting with you?” you’re just teasing, your reward being his laugh.

“Honestly, I’m so annoyed someone is flirting with you that it’s not hard to only find the ugly things on them,” he shrugs, smirking when he notices your surprised face, “I get jealous, I just try not to show it if it’s stupid.”

You push his shoulder and groan. You cross your arms on the table and put your head on them, glaring at your laughing boyfriend. 

He’s right though. Whenever you feel uncomfortable, he’s right there to protect you and take care of sending the offender away. Whenever they cross a boundary, he will show them you’re his, the same as when you make it clear you want him to be possessive about you. He just never makes a scene if there is no need. 

“I can-”

“No,” you stop him before he can continue, smiling as he rubs your back gently, “You’re perfect. I’m just stupid sometimes.”

“Always,” he coughs to tease you, but that’s alright. 

You’re grateful to have him - bickering and all.

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen reactions #jun x reader #jun scenarios #svthub #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #jun fluff #seventeen x reader #svt scenarios #svt reactions #svt fluff #drabble

[mooooonnnzz]

How do I do this? // Miguel O’Hara x daughter!reader

i come out of my hibernation to post a lil dad daughter fanfic of miguel trying to tie up your hair <33

۵ i kept seeing people wanting more miguel w a kid reader so I HAD TO WRITE ITTT

۵ fem reader w long/medium hair length!!

۵ short sweet n simple <33 i wrote it w a teen reader in mind but u can imagine younger too

۵ there is some spanish! although, my spanish is very rough so if i made a mistake please kindly correct me!

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Miguel’s teeth clamped down on his lower lip as he thought. The gears slowly turned in his head as he stares at your untamed hair. “Okay, so what do I do again?” He looks at you through the mirror and smirks at your annoyed expression.

“Papi, I can do this myself. You know that right?” You said, eyes glancing at his hand that held the scrunchie. He was stretching it, playing with it as if it was a toy, if he’d stretch it anymore he’d snap it in half. “Don’t mess with the scrunchie like that.” Your hand reached out to snatch it away from him but he jerked his hand away. “Let me learn how to tie your hair.” Miguel frowned, using his other hand to collect your hair.

“I’m letting you, just don’t stretch it like that.” You tell him, feeling a little silly to be the one to reprimand him for his actions. How the tables have turned.

“So many instructions,” Miguel muttered, exaggeratedly rolling his eyes. “So dramatic.” You say through a chuckle.

“So I put your hair through the thing?” Miguel squints his eyes in confusion. A slight smile pulls on your lips at how clueless he looked.

“Yes, and if you need any help—“

“—I don’t need any help. I got this.”

Miguel’s eyes darted between the scrunchie that was looped around his fingers and to your hair that he had in an awkward hold. He was trying to imagine how he would put your hair through the hair band, and with each scenario, he’d go through in his head, he would come out more clueless. A small laugh slipped past your lips at his expression.

Miguel looked at you through the mirror, raising a brow. “¿Te estás riendo de mí?”

“No! No. Never.” The large smile that was threatening to shine through was getting harder and harder to conceal. The look of pure confusion on Miguel’s face was impossible to not laugh at.

“No te rias.” Miguel attempted to put on a stern voice, but it was futile. He couldn’t pretend to be mad at you, not when he’s hearing you laugh and seeing you smile. Those two things are one of the many things he loves about you.

“Do you want me to show you how to do it one more time?” Your voice was thick with amusement.

Miguel let out a defeated sigh and nodded his head. He let go of your hair and handed the band over to you. You thanked him and with quick and easy steps, you collected your hair and put it up into a ponytail. Undoing your hair, you looked at Miguel through the mirror. “Do you understand?”

Miguel’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Hacerlo otra vez.” He instructed.

“Papi? En serio?” You put your back up again for Miguel to understand, yet he couldn’t wrap his head around the magic of you tying up your hair. “It’s not that hard, Pa.”

“To me, yes, it is hard.” Miguel grabs the scrunchie from you and tries once more to tie your hair up.

“You’re not going to get it.”

“Shh.”

The band splits into two with the sheer force of him stretching it out the moment he finally loops your hair into it.

There’s a small moment of silence where Miguel is grieving over his failure while you’re trying your hardest not to laugh.

“Me voy. Ya no quiero hacer esto.” He slumped forward in defeat as he walks out of the bathroom. You barrel over in laughter, tears pricking at the edge of your eyes. “Te lo dije!”

if anybody has anymore ideas for dad miguel pls send bc i’m willing to write them we need more platonic miguel fanfics 😭

@strbyallycow

#across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #spiderman across the spiderverse #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara #miguel spiderverse #miguel spiderman #atsv miguel #miguel x you #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x daughter! reader #miguel o’hara x teen! reader #miguel o’hara x kid!reader #miguel o’hara x y/n #dad!miguel #miguel o’hara x daughter!reader

[arrowenchantress]

I'm Sorry.

Carmen Berzatto x fem!reader

Summary: You work with your childhood friend Carmen. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but you love it. Your memories torment you as you sleep, but when you get shot. you finally get some peaceful rest.

TW: guns, gunshots, blood, gunshot wounds, avoidance, fluff.

Word Count: 2062

NOT PROOFREAD!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Screaming

So much blood

I’m screaming but no one is coming to help

He’s dead

Mikeys dead right in front of me

I couldn’t save him

*My eyes snap open*

Stupid fucking nightmares, I can never fucking catch a break ever since Mikeys death. It feels like I keep failing him in my dreams over and over again. I can never get there in time. When I happened to bump into Mikey in a bar on my 21st birthday, I never would’ve imagined he’d be my best friend. I also would’ve never guessed that he would break my heart worse than any man ever could. The images of him lying….. there flash behind my eyes over and over again as I get ready for a long day at The Beef. The images flash as I drive and get inside, but as soon as I step inside and smell the familiarity, I’m ok. I open my locker and start slowly getting ready in silence, I’m not usually early but I just couldn’t be at home any longer. “Hey” I hear a familiar voice behind me, yet I still jump “Hey Carm” my voice comes out soft and shaky. “Why are you here so early?” concern and confusion lace his voice “Woke up earlier than usual, didn’t see a reason not to” I don’t know why I decided to lie to him, out of all people Carmen can see right through me.

“Don’t lie to me chef, please” he tries to convey his concern in his eyes, but I can’t look at him or I will spill all of my secrets. “My nightmares are back, I uh- I don’t exactly know how to deal with it, it’s not a big deal Carm I promise” I avoid eye contact and put my kitchen shoes on “You don’t have to hide from me you know, I’m not a stranger” he whispers with an undertone of hurt. “I know Carm I’m just- sad and confused and mad I- I don’t understand it” my eyes are glued to my feet “I know what you mean, I get them too, if you’d ever like to talk” he puts his hand on my shoulder and my eyes snap up to his. “Uh yeah of course, thank you, same goes for you” I feel my face heat up the longer I stare at him. Our eyes stay connected. “YO FAK! THE HELL WAS THAT FOR MAN!?” Richie yelling made Carmy and I both jump away from each other clearing our throats “I’m uh going to go start uhm” “Yeah I’ll meet you out there” “Great”” “Yup”. I quickly shake off the butterflies that have formed, why do I feel this with Carmen? I shake my head and throw on my apron and getting to work. My mind wanders as my hands are busy at work “They are going after my fucking house Carmen!!” I hear Sugar yelling, why is she here and whose going after her house? My nosey ass slows down and tries to listen when I hear her yelling for me, great. I walk out to the back where Sugar and Carmen stand “yes, hello, hi, why are we yelling” I say trying to keep everyone as calm as possible “Do you happen to know where Mikey left the tax forms” Sugar says crossing her arms with an expectant stare on her face “I’m so sorry but why would I know that” I say with a confused look, my eyes shifting to Carmys, he looked just as lost. “BECAUSE! Mikey told you everything!” Sugar yells getting more frustrated “Ok, ok please breathe, yes he did tell me MOST things but this he did not, I’m sorry lovie” I sympathize with you, putting a hand on her arm as she sighs and nods “We’ll figure it out okay” Carmen says trying to help. “Why don’t we start by looking in the office yeah?” I suggest calmly as I guide Sugar inside, shooting Carmy a look that tells him to not upset her or I’ll kick his ass. After about 45 minutes of endlessly sorting through papers and Sugar yelling Fuck You at about every single piece of paper I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes “Why the hell would he organize like this?” Sugar says annoyed that we still haven’t found anything of use “I don’t know. I’ll ask him when he’s not dead” Carmen replies so casually, my eyes snap open and I clear my throat “Ok I need a break” I say as I stand up and stretch before leaving the tiny, cramped office and joining Syd and Richie at the front.

I didn’t pay attention to what they were saying though I did catch Richie saying something about a bar closing. How could Carmen say something like that so casually, how could he act as if something super traumatizing hadn’t happened, how could he-. White blinding hot pain shoots through the left side of my body “SHIT GET DOWN!” I hear Richie yell yet his voice is muffled, I freeze. “Shit is everyone ok?!” Carmen yells out as I stand there in shock, I finally look down and just see blood “Carm-” my voice cuts out as the pain comes back full force and I start to collapse “OH FUCK!” I hear Carmen yell before everything goes black.

His images flash behind my eyes

He talks to me.

Laughs at me

I couldn’t even save myself

*My eyes flutter open to the blinding white light of a hospital room*

My vision is fuzzy as I look around, not able to focus on anything so I close my eyes again as I shift, wincing as my side hurts “Hey sweetheart” I hear Sugar softly say beside me. My eyes flick over to a semi blurry figure in the room “Hi” my voice is soft and gritty, my throat dry, Sugar gets a cup of water and hands it to me, I take it thankfully and down the whole cup.

“What the hell happened, where’s Carmen, is everyone ok?” I spit out all the questions running circles in my head “Hey, hey slow down okay, some rando shot at the place, we don’t know who it was but Richie is working on it. Everyone is completely fine, you were the only one who got hurt” she calmly states. “What about Carm?” my voice gets more concerned as she avoids eye contact with me “He’s uh, still at the restaurant, he was a mess one second freaking about your blood all over his hands and then the next…. he was back to work”. I squeeze my eyes shut, my blood boiling, of course Carmy would avoid that “I’m going to step out ang get some food and text everyone and let them know you're okay, need anything?” she says sympathetically “No. no I’m ok. Thank you” she nods and quickly leaves the room, leaving me with my thoughts.

I slowly sit up trying to find my phone, I spot it in a bag of my bloody clothes across the room. I slowly get up, wincing as I move, I drag my IV with me across the room to the bag. I quickly open the bag and grab my phone, grossed out at all the blood “Jesus Christ” I grab a tissue and wipe my phone down. “What are you doing up?!” I hear a panicked Sugar behind me “I needed my phone, I need to talk to Carm in person though I need him to see that I’m ok Sugar, help me get dressed in some clean clothes, no one will notice I’m gone” I rant out fast and panicked. “No. Absolutely not. We need you getting better and not worse do you understand me. You can call him” Sugar sounds very serious which is very off putting, so I pout “Fine. Can you step out while I call him, please” I ask as she helps me slowly back into the bed, she nods and steps out, wishing me luck.

I stare at Carmens contact name for a while before finally hitting the call button.

It rings.

Rings.

Rings.

Rings~

“Hello?” he sounds very apprehensive.

“You weren’t here.” I snap a bit.

“What?”

“You weren’t here when I woke up Carm. The one person I wanted to see.”

Silence

“Look I’m sorry okay I just, I couldn’t see you like that okay” he sounds stressed.

“What if something had happened Carm? What if I had needed you”?

“Don’t talk like that. Plus, you don’t need me.”

“I actually need you more than anyone else” I snap, tears burning in my eyes.

Silence

“I’ll be there soon.”

He hangs up.

I sit there staring at my phone, the fucker just hung up on me. Sugar comes back in and talks to me while I wait for Carmen. As soon as he arrives, she takes her leave wishing me luck.

He avoids my eyes as he stands next to my bed, I cross my arms and stare at him “Carmy, what’s wrong, talk to me” “It’s my fault” I barely catch it he says it so soft “Oh fuck off Carmen it’s not-” “I had a panic attack, that’s why I wasn’t here”. My mouth snaps shut as guilt starts to creep up on me “Carm-” “I can’t- I can’t lose you too. Not after-” his eyes stay locked on his feet, but he slowly starts to rub his hand on his chest. Fuck. “Hey I’m right here Carm. Look at me please” I reach my hand out and rub his arm, his eyes snap up to mine and I see the tears “Oh Carm” I move hand up to cup his cheek and rub my thumb across his cheek. He slowly brings his forehead down to mine “I’m not good. We’ve been over this. I’m bad for you. I’m not good at anything that’s not cooking, I’m especially not good at relationships” Carmen starts to rant “We were freshly 18 and 19 when we had that conversation Carm, we’re different people now” I whisper as I stare into your eyes. “You know how I feel Carm. I’ve never kept it a secret, even when we were kids” I laugh as he starts to smile “No you were definitely not subtle” I shake my head.

Silence followed as we basked in the others presence “Can I kiss you?” his question shocks me, I nod “Words sweetheart” “Yes Carmen, you can kiss me, I might pass out if you don’t-” he cuts me off by deeply kissing me, I lose myself in the kiss, tangling my fingers in the curls at the base of his neck. He pulls back slowly “We’ll work on your kissing” “Oh fuck off” he pulls me back into another kiss, I pull back “I’ll be back and better in no time, I guess this gives me some time to think about some new things for The Bear” he gently rubs my cheek as I talk “I’ll be here every step of the way ok” “Yeah you better be” we both laugh.

“Will you be my-” I quickly put my finger over his lips “Nuh uh. You better not be asking me to be your girlfriend in a hospital room” I shake my head with a dead serious face “Okay. Message received loud and clear” I laugh and shake my head before pulling him back into a kiss.

That night, cuddled up to Carmen, was the first night I had no nightmares in months.

Yeah. Everything's going to be ok.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leave suggestions if you have any!! <3

DO NOT STEAL OR COPY MY WORK ANYWHERE!

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear x reader #the bear #the bear fic #the bear fanfiction #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you

[esmedelacroix]

"I hate it when you're not around,"

husband!miguel x f!reader ♡

10 Things I Hate About You ← mini-series masterlist

"Even worse when you make me cry" ← previous part

₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡ ₊˚⊹

What Miguel didn't know was that you had already forgiven him. One of the hardest tasks in the world for you was to stay mad at him. You had forgiven him the moment he kissed your shoulder and said the simple words, "I'm sorry," Why? Because you love him. Maybe a little too much.

Most people would think that the words, "I'm sorry" have lost all meaning in your relationship. That the phrase is used by Miguel so much that it is just something he says to avoid disputes. That's not true though. You know that there is gravity behind every "I'm sorry," Miguel says.

That didn't stop the fact that Miguel hurt you. You just wanted him to feel the same pain you did. So you stopped visiting him at work and you stopped waiting for him to come home and just went straight to bed. It killed you not to be able to see him during the day, but you were upset. He made you cry, he deserved it.

. . .

Miguel's POV

Something has been missing from my days. I know exactly what it is but I've been trying to take my mind off of it. But how could I not think about her? My sweet angel that usually visits me is nowhere to be found today, just like yesterday and the day before. It's like eating a pb &j without the j or the pb or anything. It's like my days lose some of their meaning when she's not here with me.

An unfamiliar and chilling gloom cast on my office. Similar to the one that was there before I met the love of my life. It was too often an occurrence where things would be insane at work and it affected my home life with her.

She's never been this upset with me. But I guess once one thing happens over and over you begin to get tired. Is she perhaps getting tired of me? Just when I'd reached the peak of my overthinking spree, Peter B. barged into my office with Hobie, Gwen, and Mayday.

"Alright Miguel we've had enough," Peter started stomping up to me.

"Enough of what," I deadpanned.

"Enough of your sulking and enough of your wife not being here, we're friends with her. We all miss her," Gwen continued.

"You do know why she's so upset with you, right?" Hobie asked.

I finally turned away from my screens and faced the group interrogating me. "Because... I've been working too much?" he answered.

"No, she's used to that. It's because of Justine," Hobie interjected.

"Justine?" he repeated, confused.

"Yes Justine, the girl you keep running to instead of spending time with your wife," Gwen said.

"The girl you keep choosing over your wife," Peter B added.

"The girl you're cheating on your wife with," Hobie interjected.

"Woah woah hold your horses. I'm not cheating on my wife with Justine!? That's absurd! I can barely stand her!" he retired. He didn't raise his voice but his tone was definitely unusually unstable.

"But do you see how she could think that you're choosing Justine over her?" Peter asked.

"I mean I guess so but I was just following protocol," he replied.

"You could've waited until after lunch," Gwen responded.

"She needed a friend the night she went to her universe. I see myself in her. I was only trying to help. I couldn't imagine being with another woman that's not my love," he insisted.

"Well, you have to say that all to her, not us. It sounds like you guys have a bit of a communication problem," Hobie replied.

"Dios mío[my God], I can't believe I'm getting advice from a kid," he whispered to himself.

"Well you better take that advice," Peter answered.

"But she doesn't want to see me," he sighed, sinking down into his seat.

"Do you really believe that?" Peter B asked raising a brow and placing a firm hand on his shoulder.

With that encouragement, Miguel dropped all his work and swung to your home hoping you wouldn't already be asleep. Like the whole universe was against him, little problems kept coming up on the way. An old lady's cat stuck in a tree, bodega robbery, bank robbery, you name it.

None of that would stop him from coming home to you on time.

. . .

next part → "And the fact that you didn't call,"

₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡₊˚⊹♡ ₊˚⊹

taglist: @lilscast @lazyjellyfish300 @safixiovi @saaaaaaaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiiira @aktenati @vera4luv @skylertully @boringpersonality @ce3stvu @straw-berry-ghoul @holachaoholachoa

#miguel o hara #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x you #miguel o'hara x you #astv miguel #across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 x reader #spider man atsv #spiderman into the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse #astv x reader #miguel fanfic #miguel o #miguel o'hara fluff #miguel o hara fluff #miguel spiderverse #miguel spiderman #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel imagine #spiderman 2099 #miguel o hara x reader #miguel fluff

[pennywise-fucker]

Don't Leave

Homelander x Reader

Request: can I get prompt “Please don’t leave me.” with Homelander pretty please?

Warning: Swearing, threats of violence

A/N: I hope this was alright! I wasn't entirely sure how I wanted to go about it, but I was pretty happy with how it came out, hopefully you are too!

Y/N sat on Homelander's couch, seething from the scene he had made earlier that morning. A supe had only been talking to her, one of his supes nonetheless, and he had lost his mind, threatening him. The guy hadn't shown the slightest interest in her, but because she was engaging in conversation instead of fucking worshipping him, he got paranoid. She couldn't imagine how someone with all the power he had, all the strength, could be so insecure. He obviously didn't see it that way, he'd told her several times that it was the principle, but she knew better - he simply thought he owned her and planned to keep it that way.

It didn't take long for Homelander to saunter in, flowers in hand. This wasn't the first time they'd fought about his jealousy, but she was so exhausted by it. "So, I'm sure you're still mad", he smiled, moving closer and wiggling the flowers in front of her. Y/N made no effort to grab them. Homelander tilted his head and rolled his eyes, "Oh, come on, it wasn't that big of a deal", he huffed as he tossed the flowers on the table in front of her, pissing her off more. "Are you serious?", she fumed as she shot up from the couch, "You lost your shit on one of your own people!", she snapped, and he slowly turned, raising an eyebrow at her, "Maybe 'my people' should learn to stay away from my girl", he argued, though not particularly angrily. He had expected the same dance they always did.

"You really think I'd continue to be 'your girl' if I can't even have a fucking conversation with someone?", she spat, and he took a big step forward towards Y/N, narrowing his eyes, "Lower your voice", he ordered before continuing, "Are you implying you're thinking about leaving me?", he nearly chuckled, a hint of something dark in his voice, as well as his face. "I could replace you in seconds. I'm the fucking Homelander", he laughed, and Y/N smirked, "OK, then do it", she challenged, noticing the change in his body language. "Excuse me?", he asked, expecting her to think over what she just said to him. "Then. Do. It.", she repeated, more toying this time. His eyes widened in anger as he approached her, so closely that he couldn't get closer without knocking her over, "What? You want to leave me? You think I'd let you?", he threatened, "You belong to me", he spat. "Then act like it, or kill me", she said nonchalantly, though her heart was racing. He looked at her, visibly confused, and hurt. She had grown tired of the threats. If he was going to kill her, she was at least going to give him a reason to.

"I wouldn't hurt you", Homelander eased, trying to calm himself down, "Come on, you know how I get", he half laughed, half sighed, but she knew there was no humor in him at that moment. "I do. So, either kill me, or let me leave", she blurted, only half meaning to say it. No matter what words left his mouth, she knew it would only take one second of anger for him to kill her. "Look, I'm sorry ok. I'm admitting defeat", he said while throwing up his hands, a forced smile on his face. Y/N kept quiet, just staring at him. Her next words could easily get her killed, but she also didn't want to let it go. "Y/N, come on", he laughed, rubbing both of her arms, looking down at her, "You know how much I love you", he assured her, more seriously. She continued staying silent, not giving him anything to respond to, which made him visibly more uncomfortable.

He stared down at her for a second before speaking again, “Please don’t leave me.”, he said softly, pain in his voice. Y/N licked her lips and took a deep breath, "I don't want to", she lied, "But I need to talk to people", she explained, rubbing her own arms while looking up at him. "I'm not enough?", he asked, almost as if it were an accusation. She sighed, "You're enough romantically. But you can't kill anyone who strikes up a conversation with me". Homelander took a breath and looked around, as if he were considering what she said. She knew he likely wasn't, but it was better than him just killing her then and there. "Alright, alright, I'll do better, I promise", he assured her as he wrapped his arms around her, looking down into her eyes. Y/N nodded, "Thank you, that's all I want", she smiled softly, though somewhat forced. Nothing was going to change, not really, it never did with Homelander, but now she knew something she hadn't before - he didn't want to lose her. If it were anyone else who challenged him that way, they would've been dead on the spot, but he instead at least bullshitted out of fear. That, she could work with.

Homelander let out a sigh of relief and kissed Y/N, picking her up, "Great. Now, onto more important things", he smirked, carrying her over to the couch, "Making up".

*Please consider tipping $1 to my Venmo if you enjoy my writing. It's in no way required, just appreciated!*

#homelander #homelander x reader #my writing #the boys #the boys fic #fanfic #fanfiction #homelander reader insert #reader insert #imagine #homelander imagine #homelander fic #antony starr #supes #villain #writer

[crazylittlejester]

honestly, the fandom dismisses wars trauma a little too much. Have you noticed it’s always never brought up in his character studies? And when it is, it’s totally brushed off him and cia had a WEIRDDD age gap. It’s also weird hyrule warriors never acknowledges this. I honestly don’t think it’s gonna be recognized in LU but idk. It’s just weird how quickly the fandom brushed over all that. What’s your opinion? Cuz you have cool opinions lol

Disclaimer: Everything you’re about to read is my opinion and my interpretation of a game. I’m not talking about headcanons (unless otherwise specified), I’m just talking about my experience with the game and everything else. All of this is from MY perspective interacting with the canon material from both Hyrule Warriors and Linked Universe. Also! I am dyslexic, my bad for oddly autocorrected words or weird spelling mistakes

A huge reason I started yapping so much on this blog was because I saw a lot of people either actively disliking Wars, making fucking INSANE comments about his body, overly sexualizing him, or just straight up dismissing him all together and it helped me get over my posting anxiety because it genuinely made me so upset. He’s been my favorite character since only a few posts into LU (i originally liked Twilight better based sheerly on design but it took like only a few posts before that changed), and I love HW Link in general, and I thought it was actually crazy that more people didn’t like him. I’ve written several of my own characters studies on him, some of which I’ve posted, others lay trapped in my old laptop in the form of a full on analysis paper, never to see the light of day

You can send a full grown man to war and he will come back with trauma, imagine what happens when you grab some poor teenager and tell him everything relies on him. Literally forget Cia for a minute, Link as a teenager was taken and shoved into a full on war where his men turned on him and in order to survive, he had to kill. Monsters and hylians alike, it was him or them, and he’s the one who made it out. Not to mention he was constantly running all over the battle field trying to prevent the hylian captains from being defeated, and he most certainly lost many people he cared about just because he couldn’t get there in time. He had to carry around the guilt that this war was started because some sorceress was obsessed with him ON TOP of that

This was said earlier by an anon on a post I reblogged, and I’ve been saying it myself for months but I will say it again: If Warriors had been a girl and been obsessed over that same way, I fucking GUARANTEE you people would be taking it more seriously

I literally just typed in the character name and the game she’s from and that is what google had to say about her. If an older man was described as ‘harboring serious affections’ and having a ‘desire to claim’ a teenage girl I literally don’t think it would’ve been glossed over or ignored like it is

I don’t think nintendo was ever gonna elaborate or really recognize it in the game, they never go super in depth on anything in Zelda games from my experience, and I doubt Jojo will really get into it in LU mainly just because she has so much going on with eight other dudes and potentially two more (based on the header on the linked universe blog)

I saw a lot of characterizations of Warriors and opinions of him that made me so confused and also a bit mad, such that he is a womanizer or a stupid twink (of which he is neither), and that’s a huge reason I started writing fanfiction for this fandom. Firstly to just create more content for my favorite character because I rarely saw any that focused on him, and secondly because I didn’t like some (NOT ALL) of how I was seeing him characterized. (i cannot emphasize enough: NOT ALL people in the fandom characterized him this way, I saw plenty of amazing and beautiful characterizations of Warriors)

I do not think he is a womanizer at all, in fact I fully believe his flirtatious behavior is a defense mechanism. I think his ‘woman problems’ are the fact that he’s afraid of women (especially older women) he doesn’t know or trust, but also that’s just my opinion. And I am genuinely a bit worried that now that people have stopped talking about how they noticed he seemed off a few updates ago and now that they’re saying he’s back to normal that people are going to start reducing him to a stupid dramatic twink again, as if Warriors was not the one who came up with the initial plan to fight Dink and was not the first one to fight him. As if this is not a man who lead a god damn army. As if everything he’s done and everything he is no longer matters because he’s ‘pretty’

anyways I have a lot of thoughts about him in general and im just glad the fandom has been treating him better as of late, but i am a bit worried it’s just gonna go back to how it was

thanks for the ask!! sorry i got a bit carried away 😭

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu character analysis #hyrule warriors link #lu warriors #lu wars #lu warriors analysis #jes talks #jes ask

[yanderepuck]

We are thanking @aquagirl1978 for this.

At the Bronx zoo, they are letting you name a cockroach after someone and you get a little certificate for doing so.

So let's imagine MC doing this for the guys. She prints out the little certificate and gives it to them all cute like.

Napoleon

"You...did what?" Looking at the certificate wondering if he's reading it wrong.

"I named a cockroach after you"

He just looks at you. Very confused. Not sure if it's meant to be endearing or semi threatening.

"...You still love me, right?"

"of course!"

Mozart

"....."

"Do you like it~"

"That..is.. DISGUSTING!"

You laugh as he throws a small tantrum.

"COCKROACHES ARE DISGUSTING. WHY WOULD YOU NAME ONE AFTER ME?"

"Because cockroaches are forever like our love~"

"....."

"I got the matching socks too"

"get those away from me"

Leonardo

"..a cockroach?"

"a hissing cockroach!"

Leonardo is just looking at the certificate. "I've been called worse things" shrugs and hangs it up in his wall

Vincent

"aww. Thanks" he smiles at it and you even got him the cockroach plushie to go with it. You knew he would like it. He's going to go paint the two of you as cockroaches now, and going on a date

Theo

Mildly offended. "Why a cockroach?"

"Why not. It hisses and so do you. It seems fitting"

Still offended and is convinced you could have chosen a different animal/insect but decided on the cockroach for who knows what reason

Arthur

You know he goes all out for Valentine's Day as it is. So when you just hand him the certificate he's a little confused.

"I named a cockroach after you!"

"..is...is that a normal thing in your country?"

"nope!"

He's wondering if this is a warning.

"I got us matching roach socks too!"

Isaac

Boy probably shrieked a little when seeing a cockroach on the paper. "WHY???"

"I thought it was cute"

"WHATS CUTE ABOUT A COCKROACH?"

"They hiss!"

He screams again. But then you made him sit through the virtual encounter and he screams a little when it hisses

Jean

Handles it better than you expected honestly. For a split second you thought he would be confused "so this is how people celebrate Valentine's Day? They name bugs after each other"

"not exactly. I thought it would be a funny gift."

You got him the plush and he's holding it like a baby and he carries it around all day and tells people it's name is also Jean

Dazai

"Aww. I got you the same thing"

You were SHOOK

Dazai also handed you a certificate. Needless to say he enjoyed being named after a cockroach. You're the one a little upset by it

Shakespeare

He's telling you about how he is taking you to this nice restaurant. He even got you a new dress to go out in. And then you hand him a box with the certificate and the plush inside.

"a... cockroach? You named a cockroach after me.."

He's wondering if he's done anything wrong and you did this because you're mad at him.

Comte

He has no clue how to react. He bought you fancy chocolates and nice wine. Probably a new gold necklace. And he got matching roach socks and a certificate. He's probably a little concerned on how you were able to do this and why you wanted to. But he's putting on the socks right now

Sebastian

Probably sees the humor in it and thinks it's funny. He's oddly excited about the virtual encounter. Meanwhile he probably found a site where you can name a worm after your loved one because of the meme "would you still love me if I was a worm"

Vlad

He thought you would pick something more elegant than a cockroach. Maybe something fluffy. Not a cockroach.

"Roaches are forever, like our love, and you"

Vlad now thinking roaches are immortal and is curious about them. This isn't what you planned. But he is very touched by this

Faust

"....you got me a cockroach?"

"no..I named one after you"

"why would you-" so very confused. He definitely hangs it up in his lab. It keeps his ego down tbh. You start calling him your little cockroach since he calls you a guinea pig

Charles

Slightly disturbed at first but is definitely here for the matching socks.

"didn't have to be a cockroach? I think I'm cuter than a cockroach"

"you're the cutest cockroach"

But then you watch the virtual encounter and he screams a little when it hisses. He wasn't expecting that

Drake

"aww you got me a gift?" Sees the certificate. "...a roach."

"because our love will never die~"

This is his first Valentine's with you and you named him after a roach.

"Is this a modern thing people do?"

"not really. Just a funny thing"

He's thinking you are trying to offend him but he's actually enthusiastic about it

Galileo

Didn't even want to do anything for Valentine's but you hand him an envelope and he sees the certificate and he gets very confused.

"happy valentine's day~"

"... I think I'm a little above a roach"

"you both seem to hiss when touched so I see no difference"

That shot his ego down

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp theo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp jean #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp comte #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp faust #ikevamp charles #ikevamp drake #ikevamp galileo

[mcflymemes]

AS SAID BY ZEVRAN ARAINAI  *  assorted dialogue from dragon age: origins, updated version

i'll take that as an apology.

if you want to bed me, you have only to ask.

that's rather saucy of you, isn't it?

magic can kill. knives can kill. even small children, when launched at very fast speeds, can kill.

so let us pretend that i do, indeed, believe murder is wrong.

you say that like it's a bad thing.

why have we not made love as of yet?

how will you ever learn how to pleasure each other unless you talk about it?

it drives me mad with desire.

do i detect a bit of jealousy there? feeling territorial, are we?

sounds intriguing, if you ask me.

you get the most delightful wrinkle in your brow when you are curious.

shall i describe the rest of the ritual to you?

those stories you heard? all true.

i see where this is going. downhill. and quickly too.

you seem rather charmed by the idea.

i am willing to take my chances.

it is flattery only if i exaggerate the truth to please you. i am but stating a simple fact.

now i regret that extra pie at lunch.

so let me get this straight. you have... never wooed? not once? you are woo-less, as it were?

perhaps you have people you need killed.

i said no such thing.

politics and death go together like kisses and lovemaking.

you are... feeling all right, yes? perhaps you are tired?

one day you will realize that you have wasted your youth and beauty on bitterness and suspicion, mark my words.

i'm sorry... are you speaking to me?

does that make you jealous?

i admire you. you are a wicked, wicked woman.

i do not think you a fool. we are not so dissimilar, after all. i know what you are doing.

if you like, i could hoist you up on my back.

i don't go into forests as a rule.

i can think of many other things we can do other than sleep.

when the prey is caught, it deserves a good death, a clean death.

i am not permitted to tell you what they mean.

surely you can see i am serious now. i honestly wish to know.

didn't you desire companionship during those two years?

adventure has changed you.

so i imagine it has been some time for you.

i simply offer my services should you ever feel the need for... release.

has anyone told you what marvelous eyes you possess?

you should be admired by painters, copied by sculptors, exalted by poets.

i am so confused. i think i may cry. may i lay my head in your bosom?

i couldn't help hearing about your... predictament.

how could one kill such a creature without bedding it, first?

could you destroy something as pretty as i am?

one would have to be blind not to realize how very pretty we all are, and how important that is to preserve.

creating a new life can be a great deal of fun.

your form is wonderous, that's true.

i've thought about your predicament, my friend.

surely this must bring you discomfort, knowing you can never partake in such pleasures.

which girl? i saw many and i watched them all.

on second thought, i suppose it would be rude of me to intrude on another man's domain.

you are only slightly more attractive to me than a slime-filled pool of swamp water.

are you dispensing professional advice now?

and here i was becoming rather fond of the idea of you watching me closely.

that cynicism will serve you well, my friend. hold onto it.

#dragon age #zevran arainai #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompt #roleplay memes #roleplay prompt #rp starters #ask memes #ask meme #roleplay meme #roleplay inbox prompts #rp inbox meme #inbox prompt #inbox meme #sentence starter prompt #sentence starter #sentence starters #mcflymemes

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Blurbs: Blank Space

————————————————————————-

Summary: You prank Joe by texting him the lyrics of Blank Space by Taylor Swift while he's out with the guys.

Warnings: Unserious/funny, pranks!

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Universe: Into the Mystic

A/N: Part 3 of blurb night!

—————————————————��——————-

No particular date for this blurb!

Joe had just left to go hang out with the guys at Sam’s house - something about welcoming some of the newly signed players.

I was home alone. Robin and Jimmy had picked up Miles and Tyson this morning to have a little grandparents' day with them, so it was just me.

The house was clean, and Joe and I had started packing to move, but according to him, I wasn’t allowed to do anything without his assistance.

There was no way Joe was at Sam’s yet, so I decided to give him a call.

“Hey, baby. Is everything okay? I just left.” - Joe

“Hi, yes, and I know. I'm just super bored.” - you

“I can turn around and take you with me. Jess will be there obviously, maybe you guys can hang out while we’re there. We’ll probably be in the basement.” - Joe

“You’d do that?” - you

The smile must have been evident in my tone because Joe laughed a little before answering.

“Would I offer if I wouldn't?” - Joe

“No.” - you giggled

“I'll see you in a bit, Mama.” - Joe

“Okay, Joey. I love you.” - you

“I love you too. And baby?” - Joe

“Yeah?” - you

“I turned around as soon as you called.” - Joe 

——

I held onto Joe’s hand as we walked up to Sam’s door, and when Sam opened it, he was surprised to see me there. 

“Oh hey, y/n!” - Sam

“Hey!” - you

“The boys are with my folks, and I didn't want her to be home all by herself.” - Joe explained

Silently squeezing Joe’s hand to thank him for not telling Sam that I’m a hormonal pregnant woman who's so needy she can't be away from her husband, he squeezed back.

Joe led me into the familiar house, and I immediately saw Jess standing in the kitchen by herself.

“See ya later.” - you

“Wait, don't sneak off yet. I wanna introduce you to some people.” - Joe

He directed me to the basement where we would make our rounds, Joe proudly introducing me as his wife over and over again.

“Bye, baby.” - you

“Bye, text me if you need me.” - Joe

“I will.” - you

Joe leaned down and gave me a quick peck before I made my way over to the stairs.

After finding Jess, she thanked me for coming, and we found ourselves deep in conversation.

——

“Wait so you just do it randomly?” - Jess

“Yup. I'll just feel like pranking him, and then I just find one to do.” - you

“Just like that?” - Jess

“Just like that.” - you

Jess laughed as she scrolled through my saved TikTok pranks.

“You should do one on him right now.” - Jess

“Ooo okay. Which one?” - you

After careful consideration of a few different pranks, Jess and I decided on one that would be easiest for us to do. It was a text prank.

Nice to meet you, where you been?

Uhm, in the same house that you're in…?

I could show you incredible things.

You do all the time, baby. 😊

Magic, madness, heaven, sin.

Sounds poetic.

Saw you there and I thought “OMG look at that face.”

Wait when? I'm confused.

You look like my next mistake.

I hope I'm not a mistake.

Love’s a game, wanna play?

We're professionals at that game when it comes to each other, Mama.

New money, suit and tie.

Is that what you want me to get with my extension???

I can read you like a magazine.

I know lol.

Ain't it funny? Rumors fly.

What rumors? Is it bad?

And I know you heard about me.

Heard what?

So hey, let's be friends.

We are already. You're my best friend and lover.

I'm dying to see how this one ends.

I hope it doesn't end, we’re forever.

Grab your passport and my hand.

Woah woah, where are we going that I’ll need a passport??

I can make the bad guys good for a weekend.

What the hell? I'm so lost. I'll be upstairs in a second.

Jess and I cackled as we typed and sent each message, soon Joe was striding into the dimmed living room with a confused look on his face.

“The hell was that?” - Joe

“A prank. It was song lyrics.” - you laughed

“It was my idea, so don't get mad at y/n.” - Jess

“Oh, I wasn't going to.” - Joe

“He can't get mad at me.” - you grinned

Joe jokingly rolled his eyes before plopping down next to me on the couch.

“What are you doing?” - you

“I’m already up here, might as well hang out with you for a bit.” - Joe

Jess smiled at me when Joe cuddled closer to me.

“I feel like I'm third wheeling in my partner’s house.” - Jess

“It's not my fault I'm better than Sam.” - Joe

“Joseph.” - you shoved him

“Am I lying?!” - Joe

————————————————————————-

Authors note: Next fic is at 8:15!!!

(I lost the request for this, but it was around the lines of “texting Joe the lyrics of Blank Space by Taylor Swift to see what he’d do”)

#joe burrow #bengals #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #joey b #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow fan fic

[asbealthgn]

okay I keep seeing posts about steve dying in season 5 and I simply do not claim that energy BUT it got me thinking about what would happen if he did? and uuuh this lil baby ficlet about steve and eddie in the afterlife happened

———

Steve opens his eyes and there’s no monsters, no Upside Down, no Robin or Nancy or Dustin. There’s just the soft sound of water lapping against wooden boards, filtered afternoon light, and the dusty interior of Reefer Rick’s boathouse.

The hell?

“Good to see you again, Harrington.”

Steve sits up so fast that he would normally see stars at the edges of his vision. Guess being dead means that doesn’t happen anymore. Eddie Munson is leaning back against the wall, smoking a cigarette and grinning at him.

“What are—why—” Steve takes a breath and tries to gather his thoughts, because there are too many questions swirling around his head that he wants to ask. “Why am I here?”

Eddie raises his eyebrows. “Here, like, in the afterlife?” he asks, “I hate to break it to you, man, but you kinda died.”

“Yeah, no, I got that,” Steve says, “I mean, why here? In the boathouse?” If the afterlife is just this shitty little wooden structure he’s gonna be so mad.

But Eddie just shrugs. “Your guess is as good as mine, dude,” he says, “When I kicked it, I woke up in my chair at Hellfire. I think it’s supposed to be some place that was significant to you before you died.”

Significant. What’s significant about this place over any other place in Steve’s life? Unless… No. That’s ridiculous. 

“Was anyone there?” Steve asked. 

Eddie gets a sort of sad look on his face. “My mom,” he says, “She died when I was little.” But then his face brightens again. “She’s here! Not, like, here, in this moment, but around. I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t think I’d ever see her again.”

“That’s really nice,” Steve says. He wonders how it happened that Eddie is his welcome wagon to the Great Beyond. Probably because the only people Steve’s really lost have been distant family he never knew that well. Eddie was the first person whose death cut him right to the core. 

Eddie pushes off the wall and crosses over to Steve, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of him. “It’s so weird to talk about her,” Eddie says, “Because I’m so used to being sad about her being dead. But now so am I, and I’m getting to see her.”

“Where did your mom wake up, when she died?” Steve asks, wondering if maybe that’s too nosy of a question. 

“She said it was the little café down the road from our old apartment,” Eddie says. “She always loved it ‘cause it got so much sun.”

The image makes Steve smile. He imagines Eddie sitting on a woman’s lap in a big, sunny window, watching people pass by outside. “So is that what the afterlife is?” he asks, “Just a whole bunch of places from our lives?”

Eddie shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure it all out,” he says, “I haven’t been dead that long, and anyway, time is funny here. I’ve explored a little, but there’s a lot to see. Mainly I’m trying to find some door that’ll let me go back to earth, because there are some people I would love to haunt the shit out of.”

Steve laughs. He could get behind that. Eddie reaches out and pokes him in the knee.

“So what makes the boathouse significant to you?” he asks, “I’ll be honest, I figured it would be, like, your house or something. I didn’t think you even knew Reefer Rick.”

“No, I didn’t,” Steve says, “The only time I’ve ever been here were those couple times with you.”

“So why…?” Eddie raises his eyebrows, waiting for some sort of explanation that would make Steve waking up in the afterlife in a place he’d spent a grand total of maybe two hours in make sense. 

The only answer Steve can come up with is pretty embarrassing. He lets his eyes drift to the wall, the spot where Eddie had him pinned with that broken bottle. With everything else going on, he’d barely even had time to acknowledge that all of that had made him feel some very confusing things, because they had to rush off and help Max and kill Vecna and then try to kill him again when the first time didn’t stick. Steve hadn’t taken the time to muddle through why he felt so much every time Eddie grinned at him or touched him or called him big boy. Then Eddie had died, and it didn’t matter anyway, because nothing could ever become of it. 

Except now Steve’s dead too. And Eddie’s here.

“Uh,” Steve says, stalling for time. Eddie follows his gaze over to the wall and then looks back at Steve.

“What’re you lookin’ at, big boy?” he asks. 

And fuck, who knew blushing was possible in the afterlife? Steve meets Eddie’s eyes that are so dark in the shadows of the boathouse but that he’s seen glow gold in the sunlight. Something crosses over Eddie’s face and it’s like he knows what Steve’s thinking. He opens his mouth and starts to speak. “Steve—”

“D’you wanna go out sometime?” Steve blurts. He’s already dead; might as well take some risks, right?

Eddie laughs and Steve doesn’t know if it’s a good laugh or a bad laugh. But then he reaches out and takes Steve’s hand. “Yeah, I do,” he says, “I’ll be honest, I haven’t really come across any good date spots in the afterlife yet, but I’m sure they’re out there.”

Steve stands, pulling Eddie up with him. He looks at Eddie’s face, his eyes that are sparkling even in the shadows, his smile that has been so inviting from the very first second Steve saw it. “Bet we can find something,” he murmurs.

Grinning, Eddie pulls him over to the door and grabs the handle. “C’mon then, big boy,” he says, “Let’s explore.”

#probably not gonna write any more of this but i do like the idea of them figuring out how to haunt dustin #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #ficlet