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yourmidnightlover · 3 years

Text

rock

Summary - spencer wants to figure out what's wrong with you, only to be reminded what day it is and he remembers why you've been so distant.

TW: talk abt: rape, recovery, therapy, case stuff; mention of: drug addiction, rape, miscarriage, being shot, death lol

WC - 4,283

!DISCLAIMER! - i am in no way trying to romanticize recovery from a traumatic event or being upset/depressed/anxious. this is kinda my way of getting through my own issues, so please don't think that's what i'm trying to do in any way. i also don’t know how i feel abt this ending since i wrote it so long ago but oh well!

i just realized there are a few spoilers so i'll put *asterisks* around them. those parts are just explaining how the reader's always there for the team.

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you had always been the rock in spencer's life.

mentally, at least.

when he had nobody there for him when he was going through his addiction with dilaudid, there you were. you helped him through it when everybody else on the team acted as if they never noticed.

you were the one that encouraged him to get help, and pushed him to follow through. you made sure he ate and talked to someone when he had his urges again, even if it wasn't you.

you let him come over and cry about what had happened, and how unfair his life was. you consoled him and would tell him how nothing was his fault. how he didn't deserve anything bad in his life.

*and when emily 'died', he went to your house every day. you held him as he felt himself falling apart from losing her. you didn't even worry about yourself needing to be consoled, because spencer needed you to be there for him.

*when she came back you were the one to convince him to forgive her. you talked sense into him. you reminded him how much he pleaded to have her back, and then he did. so he managed to forgive her... because of you and your logic.

*and you weren't just there for spencer. while, yes, you made a special effort to be there for him, you were there for everyone on the team.

*when derek was arrested back in chicago and the team found out about his past, you were the one he leaned on for comfort. you and penelope. you let him cry on your shoulder and yell at you about how twisted a man would have to be to do something so cruel to a child.

*when jj was kidnapped and beaten to a miscarriage, you were the first she told. you didn't say anything. you knew there was nothing you could say that would relinquish the pain of losing a child. so you let her cry. you let her hug you for what felt like hours. you let her grief her unborn baby for as long as she needed.

*when penelope was shot, nobody cared to check up on her after the fact except you. you went to her apartment for weeks just to make sure she was okay. eventually, she was able to let loose all of her frustrations on you, and you took it like a champ. she ranted about how she just wanted to be loved by someone attractive and how unfair and cruel the world is, in spite of how much good she tries to bring into it.

*when hotch lost hailey, you took care of his files. you offered to watch henry and let hotch cry to you about losing her a few times once you broke past his tough exterior. you even cried with him and jack. you made them dinner whenever you could, and helped him look for good nannies to help care for jack.

*when rossi lost carolyn, you went to her grave with him on many occasions. you brought him his favorite scotch, which was very pricey, and his favorite cigars, also very pricey, and tried your best to recreate 'the rossi special' upon his directions. it helped him feel in control of something when he needed it.

*and when emily came back from the dead, you helped walk her through her own grief. she lost herself, and buried her emotions. you helped her dig up her old self, and grow into an even better woman. you even took care of her cat when penelope couldn't manage. you helped emily grieve her own death when she wanted to deny it ever happened, and she was forever grateful for you.*

you had become like the team's built-in therapist when something bad happened, and you loved it that way. you loved being the one the team went to when they needed it. it made you feel as though you had a purpose, which was something you desperately needed.

but when you went through your own trauma almost a year ago, you refused help from anyone. you knew you should've asked someone for help, or at least someone to cry or talk to when you needed to.

the team had been working on a case for longer than expected, 8 days now, and everyone was really frustrated. you had released the profile 7 days ago, and there was still no new information. it was as if the unsub had gone dormant, and you all couldn't bear that thought.

when the team released earlier than normal from the precinct and you all went to the hotel you had been staying at, you decided to get a drink from the bar quickly. you went alone, wanting to review a few of the case files during the process and not needing a distraction.

you ordered a jack and coke, and opened the case files to begin rereading them, seeing if you had missed anything.

victims were kept for 24 hours, filmed, raped, restrained, cut in pieces, and thrown in the trash like garbage. it was absolutely disgusting, and the worst you had seen in a while. the victims were low-risk and most of them had a place of authority.

the unsub had been profiled to be someone who was bossed around by a woman, narcissistic and egotistical, wanted to feel more power and authority.

the problem is, that profile was most people living in the area. even penelope couldn't dwindle down the suspects.

and alas, you had missed nothing. nothing new appeared or caught your eye. you gulped down the rest of your drink and paid for it before packing up your things to head upstairs. you tossed the file back into your bag and began the trek to the elevator.

you were interrupted by something hitting the top of your head, rendering you unconscious.

the team had woken up, and after waiting around for half an hour, spencer realized something was wrong. he had morgan bust into your room, only to find the bed unslept in. you were missing. and the worst part... you fit the unsubs type.

spencer felt his heart drop at the realization he had taken you. and it seemed as though there was no trail as to where you had gone. penelope checked the cameras, only to find that they were hacked right after you left the bar, and then they resumed after you were taken.

at least they had a time frame.

later that day, after everyone hasting to figure something, anything out, spencer had gotten an email. he opened it and expected it to be relentless spam, only to realize it was a live feed video. a video of you. he instantly called penelope in hopes that she could trace it.

she said she could, but it would take some time because the amount of routers it had been going through.

while they were waiting, you noticed you were alone. you knew who the unsub was too, thanks to his baffling stupidity and narcissism that lead him to believe he wouldn't get caught.

"officer johnson! it's officer johnson!" you looked around the camera for a second, noticing something moving. "he-he here," you cried out. "i love you," you said to the camera to nobody in particular, but someone in mind.

you were terrified. spencer could see it in your eyes. he could see the tears you tried not to shed. you didn't want to please him, but you couldn't help but feel the absolute horror and fear coursing through your body at a relentless pace.

"hi there, missus fbi," he teased, finally walking into the frame with a ski mask over his face, clearly not aware that we knew his identity.

spencer told garcia who he was, and she began her digging. officer johnson's great grandparents had owned a farm that was since then refurbished. it was an hour away.

officer johnson had known that you two had chemistry. that's why he sent the email to spencer. he saw the longing glares, the 'innocent' touches, the smiles you would give each other, the longing looks you shared. he wanted to torment him.

so when he began undressing you and you turned your face away from the camera in hopes of sparing some of your own dignity, spencer felt his heart breaking for you. it broke even more when he heard the yelps, and screams, and please, and "no!'s" you elicited during the act.

they caught him before he cut you, but not before he finished the first part of his plan. your skirt was ripped, and your shirt was practically in two pieces. spencer had given you his jacket to cover yourself as much as you could.

you stayed silent the ride back. you didn't even let spencer hold you like you normally would after a tough case. you were ashamed. embarrassed. you felt worthless. you felt pathetic. you felt stupid. you felt helpless. you felt like you were drowning. you felt like you were without a life raft.

you knew you could talk to the team about it, but you felt so disgusted by the thought of what happened to you that you only talked about it in your therapy sessions.

hotch had given you two months off. he wanted you to grieve, and go to therapy, and try to cope with everything that had happened.

and you did try to do that. you tried your hardest to get over it and move past it, but nothing helped. not the journaling. not the talking. not the crying. nothing was working.

spencer gave you a little space at first, but he then decided to try to help you as you had helped him. he went over to your house almost every day, and sat outside your door after you wouldn't let him in.

you knew he was there... you sat on the other side.

"i-i know that you probably don't want to see anyone right now. and i'm uh, i'm sure you feel alone right now, or like you can't talk to anyone," spencer sniffled. "but pl-please just uhm, just know that i'm here when you want to talk about it. i'm here to listen to you when you need me to. i-i don't want you to be alone during this time, y/n. please, just let me in," he begged.

that was normally what he would say almost every night he went to your house. he would sit outside for hours after he would ask you to let him in without fail. until one day you let him in.

spencer felt so much relief when you opened the door, only for it to be smashed when he noticed your eyes looked red and puffy, your cheeks were stained with the tears you had been crying for so long. your cheeks were sunken in, and there were dark circles underneath your eyes that were once full of life and happiness. your eyes no longer had that gorgeous sparkle in them.

spencer vowed he would get them back.

as much as spencer wanted to wrap his arms around you in that moment, to comfort you and tell you that he was there, he wanted you to make the first move. he wanted to tell you how strong you were and how proud of you he was for getting through that. he wanted to tell you how much he loved you.

he wanted you to make the first touch, because he didn't want to further upset you. he didn't want to trigger a repressed memory, or bring back the feelings of what had happened.

but spencer's touch was nothing like the officer's. spencer's touch was soft and gentle. spencer's touch was feather-light and endearing. spencer's touch was love and home. the officer's was brittle, and rough, and repulsive.

"hug me?" you sniffled as your eyes welled with tears again as they had been for the past three weeks.

"of course," spencer slowly wrapped his arms around your shoulders as yours found his torso.

he walked inside with you still in his arms and slowly shut the door. without breaking from the hug, you both walked to the couch and sat down.

you didn't say anything. you just needed spencer to keep hugging you, so he did. he did whatever you wanted, needed, from him. eventually, you fell asleep in his embrace on the couch.

when spencer looked down at you, now sleeping against his chest, he couldn't bring his heart to remove himself from you. so like any whipped man would do, he carefully picked you up bridal styled and carried you to your room. he took his shoes off as well as his sweater vest before cuddling back up next to you.

as if it was a reflex, you cuddled up into his chest when he neared you again and got underneath the covers. spencer slept the best he did in months with you. and you slept without officer johnson in your dreams for the first time since that day.

ever since then, spencer had been making sure you were eating and drinking. he took you to your therapy sessions and stayed over most nights you had asked and he was able to.

they had a few cases during the two months, so every moment he could, spencer was with you. he coaxed you back to your normal-ish self. he watched as that glimmer in your eye began to slowly grow brighter everyday. he watched as your smile came back, and your tears didn't come so frequently.

the first time he had heard you laugh again, spencer had thought he was dreaming. he wished he had recorded that moment. he was more grateful than he's ever been in his life that he had an eidetic memory, because that sound would forever be engraved in his brain.

when you returned to work, you clung to spencer. he had become your tether to reality, and hope. he had become your rock during the recovery.

over the months, everyone slowly began to forget what had even happened. things went on as usual, and the team forgot the traumatic experience you had gone through. even spencer might've let the experience get lost in his brain.

so when it became 11 months and 3 weeks since the abduction, you began to distance yourself once again.

you politely declined going out with the team a couple days before the anniversary, something you never did. you insisted that you were just especially worn out from the case you had just been on.

spencer had to finish files given to him by derek anyway, so he didn't get to witness the encounter.

once the day of the anniversary came upon you, you found yourself feeling sick to your stomach. you couldn't help the tears that would fall from your face every so often. you knew why you felt this way, but you wanted to push past it.

you had gone into the office wearing a pantsuit and blazer, wanting to avoid the normal office skirt you happened to be wearing the day it happened. you stayed at your desk and quietly did your case files. you didn't even greet spencer as you would every day. you gave him a kind smile, but you would normally give him a hug, or at the very least an eager wave upon his arrival.

spencer just assumed it was one of those days where you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. it wasn't spencer's fault he thought this. he didn't even look at his calendar to check what day it was. he just knew they had paperwork.

but he did have this day marked in his calendar. he had it marked so he would remember to be extra kind to you, and do your files for you, and come to your place with your favorite wine and takeout. he wanted to help you through the one year anniversary, but he forgot to check his stupid calendar.

you thought he didn't care. you thought the man who you loved, and the man who helped you through everything that had happened had had enough of your complaining and grievances. so, you didn't tell him about it. you didn't bother him with the terrible thoughts clouding your mind because you thought it'd burden him.

so when you finished all of your case files early, you asked hotch if you could leave early, at 2:00, because you had things to tend to. he allowed you to do so, but this rose a flag for spencer.

he saw you exit without saying goodbye to him, something you hadn't done the entirety of knowing him. you had always told everyone to have a nice night and to be safe before leaving, but not today.

finally, he looked at his phone for the first time all day, only to feel like the worst person in the world to realize what day it was. spencer felt absolutely horrible at this revelation and ran into hotch's office as quick as he could after packing his things.

"hotch!" he exclaimed upon opening his office door.

"go. she was practically in tears," hotch informed him. "and reid," spencer stopped in his tracks to turn and look at the stern man, "please make sure she's okay." spencer gave him a soft grin and a nod before turning around and bolting out of the office.

you had gotten home and immediately burst into tears. you shut the door with your back, and slid down it. you had never understood why people had done that in movies until now. you just couldn't wait to break any longer, so you settled for your front door.

you held back no wail, or scream as you cried in front of your door, your knees pulled up to your chest as you held them tightly.

you wondered why you had to go through that. you wanted to know what kind of karma there was for someone who had always tried to do the right thing to be hurt... and for nobody to even care. nobody wanted to console you, or to make sure you were alright.

you had checked up on everyone on every anniversary of their struggles. whether it be a death, abduction, anything, you had been there for every single anniversary or reminder. and nobody was there for you.

nobody was there for you to hug, or to lean on, or to cry to, or to scream at, or to rant to. nobody was there. nobody loved you enough to care about that.

but then you had to remind yourself that they all had lives.

but the person who is your life didn't even care.

spencer didn't care.

and that's why you truly lost it.

he acted like it was just another day. he acted like it wasn't the anniversary of the day you thought you were going to die. the day you wanted to die. the day you felt your most low, and humiliated. the day you lost all hope. and he didn't remember.

if the man with an eidetic memory didn't remember, it must be extremely insignificant. so therefore, you must be extremely insignificant.

spencer raced to your house. he wanted to be there for you today, and he failed. he felt like a failure as a friend. he hated himself for not being there for you when he knew you would need him. he knew how you clung to him in your time of need. you thought he was worthy enough to hold onto when you needed someone, and spencer felt elated at that.

but now he wasn't there for you. and you needed him.

he had quickly stopped by the store and your favorite takeout place to get the things you'd want. he got your wine, chocolate, food, flowers, and a teddy bear that had a sweater vest on him - you've always loved his sweater vests.

when he got to the steps of your house, he felt his heart drop. as he walked closer he heard the wails of your crying right by the door. he could sense the heartache from the edge of your porch, and felt himself feel even worse, which he didn't think was possible.

he instantly ran to the door and knocked profusely. you sniffled one last time, feeling embarrassed that someone had heard you crying your heart out. you had figured one of your neighbors heard you and wanted to tell you to keep it down, so you wiped your tears and the stray mascara from underneath your eyes and opened the door, keeping your eyes lowered in embarrassment.

"y/n," spencer announced sadly, a tear falling down his face. you looked up in confusion from hearing his voice. you noticed his tear and reached up to wipe it away on instinct.

"why're you crying? are you okay?" you asked, forgetting all of your own problems at the sight of spencer crying. spencer let out a small chuckle at your concern.

"i'm alright, aside from the fact that i'm a terrible friend," he admitted as his smile quickly faded upon seeing your stained cheeks. "i brought your favorites," he offered, holding the bag of goodies in one hand and the takeout in another.

"y-you... why?" you asked, wanting to make sure you weren't misreading the situation for him trying to comfort you.

"why?" he asked in disbelief. "because it's the anniversary. i can't tell you how sorry i am, y/n. i swear i marked it on my calendar and planned for us to take off so i could take care of you. i-i just woke up late and never bothered to even check my phone. i kn-know it's no excuse... but i am so, so, so sorry," he rambled out, already tearing up.

you grabbed his arm gently and pulled him inside before you started crying in front of your neighbors. you took the bags from his hands and placed them on your coffee table.

"i thought you just didn't care," you shrugged as you took a seat on the couch, prompting him to sit beside you.

"y/n..." he sighed as he realized how terrible he screwed up. "i will always care about this. i will always care about you. don't ever think differently. i'm just incredibly... dumb sometimes. i can't believe i made you think that," he trailed on. "i will never not care about you, y/n. i swear it. i will always, always care about you. i will always love you," he froze as he realized what he just revealed. your eyes widened, and squinted, and roamed his face, trying to figure out if he meant the words he had just sped out. "i truly do, y/n. i i’m in love with you and i'm so sorry i made it seem otherwise."

it took you a second to absorb everything that he had said.

"you too," you solemnly admitted. "i’m in love with you too. and i could forgive you... for almost forgetting," you gave him a small smile.

"i'm glad you could forgive me. i don't know what i'd do if you didn't," he relished. "you actually love me?" you nodded with a small smile.

"i have for a while," you turned your head to the bags on the table.

"oh! right!" he said, reaching for the gifts. "i got your favorite takeout, your favorite wine, your favorite chocolates, flowers, and..." he trailed on as he revealed each item. "i saw this teddy, and i couldn't resist," he smiled.

you took the bear, taking in its appearance. it had a light blue, navy, and white diamond pattern sweater vest and brown shoes on. it looked like spencer, just teddy bear form. you smiled widely at the sentiment.

"it's you," you grinned as you took it in your arms, hugging it tightly as you saw spencer nodded with a smile mirroring that of your own. "i love it," you chuckled.

"i would understand, the fur is really soft," he relished in the thought.

"i don't think he'd be as good of a cuddler as the real thing, though," you grimaced. "but he'll do for when i don't have you here i guess," you shrugged with a smile.

"i plan on being here as long as you'll let me," he said softly.

"always," you grinned, setting down the teddy bear and trading him for the real spencer reid.

"always," he repeated, taking you in his arms and squeezing you tightly as if you'd float away at any moment. "now let's dig into this food while you talk about your feelings, if you want that is," he said after releasing you from the hug.

"i think i want to," you nodded. "and spence?" he turned from getting the food out of the bag to look at you for a second. "thank you for being my rock through all of this."

"i'll always be your rock, y/n."

@averyhotchner @greenprisca @muffin-cup

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer #spencer x y/n #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid angst

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oomisgerm · 3 years

Text

Suna being mistaken to be an Uber driver

Genre: crack!

Summary: You typed a wrong number (which is Suna’s) begging him to pick you up. He was annoyed thinking it was Atsumu pranking him at first. He decided to be your ‘uber driver’ because of your desperation. He enjoyed riling you up so he take advantage of you saying that you’ll pay him and his lunch not sexually 😳 but he kinda teased y/n and he insisted that it is a date then.

A/n: So this is my first time writing a fic so bear with me 🤧

You feel the blood in your body drained that your phone only have 4% left, forgetting to plug it in before you sleep last night.

You just ate lunch but due to the stress and excitement to an opportunity for a big shot job interview that you were waiting for in years you momentarily forgot about it while stress eating

now that you finally got the chance you don’t know if you’re going to make it there. You feel like you’re going to throw up with the anxiety you’re feeling now since you know you can’t have a second chance there.

You were already talking to an uber driver and you weren’t sure if they accepted

Panicking, you thought that you need to forget about your shyness and ask the person beside you to borrow their phone for a moment to talk to your driver.

But you typed the wrong digit at the last part as your phone automatically turned off and send a message begging to the person that you mistook to be your driver.

Suna was watching something on his TV finally having some rest from the exessive training the past few weeks. On these rare occasions he avoid getting drag by Atsumu to go to his brother’s resto.

But multiple notifications from an unknown number pops off spamming him. He checked just in case there’s an emergency only to be confused.

“Halo hehe I know it’s lunch time but please, my life depends on u, Please don’t cancel on me! I’ll pay extra!! And for ur lunch!”

“My phone died so I borrowed a phone from a stranger so please 🥺 don’t leave me hanging!”

“Where are you?😖😭”

I only have one chance for this interview and Im broke but I will LITERALLY GIVE ALL THE MONEY I HAVE LEFT IF U PICK ME UP 🤧”

He sighed having enough of Atsumu’s pranks so he ignored it. The messages stop for a moment

“Helo? :D”

“I’m sorry for bothering but you’re my only chance on this :(”

You waited for a reply but still none came. You teared up looking to the person you borrowed the phone from, but they just smiled and said that they are not in a rush, but still you see them looking on their wristwatch.

Suna being done messaged Atsumu to stop messing with him when he’s trying to take a break from hell

And Atsumu replied with “tf u talking about bro?”

“Stop spamming me with this Uber shit, I’m not gonna pick you up”

“The hell? I’m literally driving” and he send a video of him driving with Sakusa in the front sit with Bokuto and Hinata being chaotic at the back.

Suna did not replied and read the messages from the number

The owner of the phone politely asked for their phone back because they were about to leave. You asked for a moment tearing up so they let you be.

“Theyre rlly about to leave please reply if youre gonna cancel on me just so I could know if I’m just going to walk back home :’(”

“Sorry for spamming but I’m panicking right now, it’s wrong to just leave people hanging u know?😞”

Suna sighed not believing what he about to do picking up his car keys and heading out. he’s pissed but not heartless for seeing the desperation on your messages.

“Where are you?” Suna replied

You feel a sudden relief but still you heart is racing

“THANK GOD YOU REPLIED!!😭🤧”

“I’m here in (Address) :< ”

“Ok” Suna replied

“OK THANK YOU!🥺😩, Im gonna return the phone back so don’t reply”

“Btw I’m wearing a suit! And my name is y/n”

You returned the phone to the person saying thank you and sorry, you feel so lucky that this person beared with you. If they did not you’re probably going to spend a few months or so unemployed.

You’re lucky that Suna is near the place where you are but as for him? Not so lucky. He was contemplating on his way about why do he have to do this, regretting every second that he took pity. He could have been resting now.

You have no choice just to wait since your phone is dead, and only a few minutes of waiting an expensive looking car stops infront of you. You step back knowing that you’re blocking someones way in.

The window opened and the person inside called for your name, you were confused and you look around if someone heard, that maybe you only have the same name.

But he called again so you looked to see the person looking at you with an annoyed expression, so you pointed to yourself

Damn why do you have to look aggressive sir? You thought to yourself

“You’re y/n right?” You nodded then he said “get in”

You were shocked like who the hell is this man, are you getting kidnapped? And for many chances that this can happen, it needs to be this day? THE DAY OF YOUR MOST IMPORTANT JOB INTERVIEW

You were about to run before anything happens but he added “I’m the...uber driver” as he sighed looking more irritated, hand over at the back of his neck

You want to keep you mouth shut on the ride but it was your first time riding a car this expensive you can’t help to ask the attractive looking driver

He looks so big compared to your figure and he looks intimidating but you didn’t even hesitate to asked “Am I in a sort of kind of prank?” You were looking for cameras

Suna was dumbfounded with your question.

“You’re an uber driver driving around with this car?” Suna just looked at you but you weren’t looking astonised to the interior of the car

He shook his head. Then you speak again “oh wait...Am I gonna be charged more? Is this like a special service or something?!” You were saving up because you’re unemployed so you really need to be careful with your expenses so you panicked.

Suna looked at you then back to the road amused with your reaction “but then you said that you will literally give all your money if I pick you up”

You gulped “I did? I just said that I’ll pay extra and pay for your lunch” Suna looked at you raising an eyebrow

“Are you asking me out?”

You feel a heat creeping on your face. “No I am not. I just want to make up for my disturbance during your break”

“It’s ok, It’s a yes for me” he saw that you didn’t get what he mean so he cleared “I’ll go out with you”

Suna shamelessly look at you up and down you were shocked and immediately covered you body with your bag

Suna smirked feeling the urge to rile you up since you’re the one who put him into this situation

You were astounded that the driver really manage to say that to a passenger like is he not scared having a bad review for hitting on them? But you thought that maybe he really don’t mind. tots won’t decline a moment like this from this guy 👀

“Aren’t you gonna get fired for hitting on you passengers?”

“Why would I?”

“Uhm because it’s like inappropriate?” You said looking at him all scared you wanted to look normal but you can’t help it.

You beg yourself to look normal so you won’t provoke him becuase you are in a dangerous line here

you don’t even know if this person is really going to drop you off your destination.

Suna chuckled, not expecting how this day’s events will turn out like this, talking to this crazy passenger when he’s not even an Uber driver

After a moment, of you being a dumb bitch again, you asked “Is this like your side job? You know for extra income? Like what the hell do you need the extra income for? having this car and an iphone? And sure yeah you’re also wearing an apple watch” as you glanced to his wrist

“This is not a side job” Suna replied looking at the road with his elbow resting agaisnt the window with his head leaning on his knuckle while his other hand grips on the stirring wheel.

Suna was thinking about many ways to tease you without really crossing the line because he’s basically a stranger.

You saw him smirk which brings a flush in your cheeks affecting you in a way that you don’t want to feel

Remembering asking if this is a special service and he did not answer that. Having this expensive car for a pick up? A driver too hot that he can be a model if he chose to? Is this a new deal in uber? What the hell? You thought to yourself

adding things up your cheeks flushed red when Suna look at your side looking at you darkly with a serious smirk on his face

“So what special service do you want to try?”

“W-w..What?” Your face too red and your heart beating so fast feeling that you’re about to have a heart attack

“We’re still nowhere near you need to be, so decide now if you want to use the time you still have because this is a special offer you see”

You were confused stopping yourself to think about dirty thoughts but the red flush in your face won’t go away boosting Suna’s ego.

“Uhh.. no I’m fine thank you”

“You sure? That’s unfortunate because this might be your only chance”. You hear the playfull sound in his voice knowing that he is smirking you blushed once more but you have high spirits to defend yourself.

You need to clear your name. Embarrassed with the strange situation you thought you’re in to. So you muster all the courage you have left.

“I don’t go out paying guys, I can get a guy I want without bribe or something you know!”

“If that’s the case then why are you paying me?” He tried to stopped laughing just so he could look like he’s genuinely confused leaving a smirk in his face.

Now you think you’re right with your assumption 💀

“WOW! Excuse me sir! I will pay you because you’re my uber driver not because you’re some-“ you stopped not knowing what to say

“some?” Suna is waiting for you to continue raising you an eyebrow looking at you then back at the road

“some...” you shutdown.

“Some?”

“Stop asking me”

“I’m genuinely confused right now y/n” Suna said as you glared at him, thinking how smoothly he can say your name, when you’re here referring to him as ‘hot uber driver’

You decided to say it because you’re feeling that he will continue to bug you “somee...callboy”

Suna could not hold his laughter, so you freaked out not accepting that it might be your last word if you both died in an accident.

Caused of death? The driver laughed too hard when a passenger assumed he’s a callboy.

“Hey focus on the road!” You said hiding your face embarassed.

Suna is taking back his words a while ago that he regrets doing this, since he’s laughing his ass off at the moment.

“A callboy huh?” He smirked and laughed again

There’s something with his laughter that annoys you, but in a good way... but STILL it’s annoying because you know that this man is intentionally making fun of you 😡

“Stop!” Avoiding his gaze wanting to cry because of the embarrassment

“First you thought of me as your uber? And now I’m a callboy?” He is still laughing which annoys you more.

“What??...” You stared at him blankly and he stared back when he stopped over a stop light.

smirking at you while he slowly close the gap between you, a panic spreading all over you face.

“a-are-...you not my uber?” You asked, sweating profusely.

“I’m not”.

You started screaming wanting to go out of the car, you already open the door but the seatbelt stops you in your track

You did not pay for this! Sure he’s hot but what’s happening right now is not justifiable you’re too scared to be turned on with the events unravelling between you and this kidnapper

Suna laughed even more feeling little cramps in his stomach, he is definitely not a person who typically laughs like this but somehow you made him to be like this

“Hey! Hey! Wait! I’m just messing with you!” As he reach out to your elbows pulling you and asking you to close the door because the car behind you is getting restless.

“Dude wtf, I’ll make sure that you’ll get fired after this I swear to god!” You stated with an exasperated expression at him.

You were so scared and paranoid so you watch out where he’s bringing you.

“Ok so I’m really not your uber driver...” he watched you carefully and before you react he speaked “but you spammed a wrong number and begged me y/n so I took pity on you and decided to give you a good service” for a moment he looked genuine but his cocky smirk returned

“WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME AT THE FIRST PLACE?!” you look at him with disbelief

“Because I just want this to be over plus...you’re hopeless.” He looked at you but you glared which only satisfied him

“I’m supposed to be resting today but someone decided for me to be their uber driver” he scoff

You’re pissed off at him for riling you up but there’s no denying that you’re in his debt so you avoid his gaze glaring at the sight outside

You notice that you’re already near. You’re annoyed but still thankfull to him

“I’ll pay you...” as you look at him still glaring but you did not want to meet his eyes “and your lunch” you finally said.

You see him wearing that annoying smirk but it makes your heart falter that annoys you more.

“Asking me out again huh?”

“I’m not”

“Uhm..ok? Whatever makes you sleep at night kitten” he chuckled

You blushed to the nickname “KITTEN? AND WHERE THE HELL DID THAT CAME FROM?”

“We’re practically dating now right? That’s called endearment kitten”

“You’re mad! I don’t even know your name!”

“Suna Rintarō but you can also call me daddy” he smirk and bit his lower lip which made you fluster but he only did it to stop himself for laughing at your reaction.

You didn’t even realized that you were already infront of you dream company.

“Ok I’ll wait for you down here, and I’ll decide where to eat since you’re begging to go out with me” he said seriously

This guy is really getting into my nerves you thought as you try to massage your temples

“You’re gonna have to wait for a while I think” you manage to say because you’re really thankfull for this man’s help. If it wasn’t for him you couldn’t have made it here.

“I’ll wait for you kitten, goodluck on your interview”

Your heart skipped and there’s no denying that your face looks like a tomato

“Kiss you goodluck?” Suna asked teasing you

“No, Suna” you glared at him as you walk out the door and as soon as you turn you back at him you can’t help to smile. You feel mad and flustered at the same time.

196 notes · View notes

honeyoongiah · 3 years

Text

Drifting apart

Pairings: Jimin x reader, Yoongi x your friend as a side ship Genre: angst, smut, fluff, slice of life Words: 7k Warnings: explicit sex, it’s pretty emotional sometimes :( Summary: You and your boyfriend Jimin are facing a difficult time after drifting apart. Will you end up together, is there still a chance for you after all that happened?

You loved Jimin and Jimin loved you.

You had been a couple for a long time and you had even moved to Korea to be with him, but he didn’t have much time and you argued about it occasionally. You missed him and his presence. When he was gone, the world no longer felt complete, like a significant part was missing, and you hated that feeling. You knew Jimin felt the same, but it wasn't easy as a BTS member, they toured all the time and if they didn't they wrote a new album and then toured again, a vicious circle. You often lost yourself in grief, but didn't want to show any of it to your Jiminie. You wanted to be the perfect girlfriend when he was there because you didn't have enough time together to waste it with negative feelings.

Jimin was always terribly stressed and sometimes irritable because of work, but he never wanted to do anything other than being a performer. It was his passion. The only problem was that he didn't have his loved one around as often as he would like.

He missed you constantly and was never really focused at work, the longer you hadn't seen each other the worse. Often he was teased with it and then he smiled faintly, hiding how deeply this issue affected him. Every now and then someone asked if everything was okay, but he didn't want to talk about it. He hadn't even spoken to you about your problems. He knew you were suffering but said nothing to be strong for him. That suited you. The thought of you made him smile, but at the same time it hurt so much that he almost cried. Especially the past months were tough for your relationship since Jimin practically lived at work. They worked hard on a comeback and Jimin took a big part in writing and composing on this album as well. It was exciting but also really time-consuming. You felt neglected, like his love for his job was bigger and more important to him than you and that hurt you. You started to feel like he didn’t crave you anymore, like you weren’t attractive in any way. It really made you wonder if you were not enough anymore and you could tell that you became very insecure. You just wanted a little appreciation, a bit more affection and more time with the one you loved the most.

One day after the rehearsal he couldn't take it anymore and tried to call you. For the first time ever, you didn't answer when he called you. Immediately worries arose in him, had something happened to you?

What could be the reason you were unavailable?

"Oh hyung, did F/N tell you something about Y/N? Is there anything special today, I mean is she busy? She doesn't answer the phone."

"No she didn't, but calm down. She’s probably just not on her phone because she fell asleep or is meeting up with friends. Don't worry.", Yoongi tried to calm him down, but Jimin had a bad feeling and he knew he could always trust his gut feeling.

"I don't know, I feel kind of ... weird. I'm sure something's wrong. I know I sound ridiculous, I mean, she just didn't take my call once. But my gut tells me something is wrong." Jimin muttered, stepping from one foot to the other, glancing at his cell phone hoping you would call back, but you didn't. He tried again before deciding to stop by after the rehearsal. He didn't care that he actually had something else in mind, he had to see you now.

When he arrived at your place, he rang the doorbell wildly and you opened the door dumbfounded.

"Jiminie what are you doing here, you have to work ..." - "I don't care, I had to see you."

The fact that you didn't jump into his arms straight away, didn't smile widely at him straight away and didn't form the typical dimples were the second signs that something was wrong.

"What was wrong? You didn't answer the phone." - "Sorry, I was absorbed in my book.", you mumbled and stepped aside to allow Jimin to enter, but Jimin stopped and got a confused look.

"I have to go again .." he said, barely audible. He knew how it hurt you and it was exactly the same for him. He didn't even have time to check on you, but couldn't stop himself.

"Yeah thought so already. See you Jiminie.", you answered with a tired smile that instantly broke Jimin's heart and closed the door in front of his nose. No kiss, no I love you, not even a hug, not a single touch. This meeting had been very unsatisfactory for him.

But he just went back to work, a big mistake that he would realize too late.

Time passed and you saw each other less and less. You answered the phone less and less and Jimin stopped calling you that often. You seemed to be growing apart, but that burned like a dagger in Jimin's heart. He had to prevent that.

So he fought with everything he had for a day off that was finally given to him and he knew he would spend it refreshing old times. To show the love of his life that they belong together.

He had planned and set up big things, even called your workplace to give you a day off.

He cleaned and tidied up his apartment, because he knew otherwise you would complain, he cooked your favorite food as best he could and prepared the table romantically. Champagne and glasses were ready, only candles were burning everywhere. He had asked Jin to help him and of course he agreed.

So when that day finally came, he brought you a small box that said "open me" with a heart drawn next to the writing. Jimin even painted the heart in your favorite color and made you smile. You let Jin into your apartment and went to the living room to unpack.

In the box was a beautiful, burgundy, backless, tight-fitting dress with matching high heels (but not too high, as Jimin knew you weren't used to this and he didn't want to overtax you) and even a matching lipstick. On top of it was a small folded note, which you opened impatiently. "Dearest Y/N, I'm sorry about how things are between us right now. I miss you and I really want to make everything right again. Please get ready, no need to hurry, and then let Jin drive you. I hope you like your outfit, I can’t wait to see you in it. - Chimchim"

Your smile widened from word to word you read and your eyes filled with tears. So much had you wished for this Jimin again. You wanted to finally see him again and spend time with him. You were very happy, but a dark shadow weighed on you.

Because, as it goes with difficult relationships sometimes, your frustration steered you on the wrong track. But you quickly tried to shake off these thoughts and went to your bedroom with the box in your hands while Jin was waiting for you patiently in your living room.

About 20 minutes later you were ready and happy to face Jimin. Jin complimented you and led you to his car to get in. Less than half an hour later you were standing in front of the building Jimin lived in and Jin brought you upstairs to his apartment before saying goodbye and taking the elevator down again. With your heart pounding excitedly, you rang the bell and an equally excited Jimin in a black suit with a small bouquet of daisies opened the door for you. He looked you up and down and couldn't utter a word at first.

"I knew you wouldn’t look bad in it, but that exceeds all my expectations.", Jimin admitted honestly and was once again proud to have such a beautiful woman by his side, both inside and out. "Thank you. I have to thank you in general for everything, this dress is great and so are the shoes and the lipstick. I like it a lot.", you said with a warm smile and Jimin felt like when you had just met. In the past you had a lot of such dates and he had always tried hard, but at some point BTS became known and with that his schedule became more and more tight. He was happy that he managed to organize it for today. "But I can't stay too long-" - "You don't have to work, I already talked with your boss.", Jimin interrupted you with a grin and finally pulled you into the apartment and closed the door.

He led you into the dining room where he had dipped everything in candlelight and the champagne was already waiting in glasses for the two of you. You ate, talked a lot, and flirted again like you did on the first day. Finally you both had some time for each other again. But Jimin noticed how stressed you looked at your cell phone every now and then. "Are you okay?" He asked worriedly. "Yes everything’s alright, just a little spam from my friends.", you replied as calm as possible and took Jimin's hand. "Thank you for doing this. I missed this so much," you said gratefully and leaned over to get a kiss from your dream man. He didn't hesitate for a second and enjoyed it when your lips met again after so long.

At some point you sat on the couch in the living room, already a little tipsy, because it was more comfortable and you were able to sit closer. You were in his arms and looked up into his flawless face. You gently ran your thumb along his right cheek and looked him in the eyes the whole time. You two usually didn't need many words to understand each other. Your chemistry matched so well that everything was said without words.

Jimin grabbed your neck gently and pulled you closer to his face, he didn't like this distance between you and he wanted to get rid of it immediately.

You moved closer and your lips met again. At first you were careful, as if you didn't know each other yet, but shortly afterwards the kiss became more demanding and intense so that both had to moan. You buried your hands deep in his blonde hair and never thought of ever letting go of him. With a jerk he grabbed Your hips and sat you on his lap.

You automatically wrapped your arms and legs around his body and tried to pull him as close to you as you possibly could, every millimeter between you hurt.

Jimin bit your lip, asking for entrance. You immediately responded and the kiss intensified with your tongues moving. You could practically feel the tension in the room and Jimin stroked your bare back, giving you goosebumps. "That's exactly why I chose this dress," he mumbled into the kiss with a grin and continued to stroke your skin.

At some point he grabbed you by the waist and stood up while muttering "I can't wait any longer." and carried you to his bedroom. Another few weeks passed and Jimin's schedule was fuller than full. But you two weren’t bothered so much because that evening together gave you new strength and your love was rekindled. You wrote sweet messages and sent each other pictures as often as you could. Jimin was so grateful that he had taken the time to straighten everything out.

That would be a nice ending, right?

But fate decided that things wouldn’t go peaceful.

You were feeling a little strange and weren’t sure what that meant.

You took a pregnancy test and were overjoyed when it was positive, since you wanted nothing more than to start a family with Jimin. To give birth to his kids.

You decided to tell him tonight at Yoongi and F/N's, as the others met there to do something in your friend group again. You didn’t tell your friends yet. First of all, the father of your baby should know.

Incredibly excited, you made your way to Yoongi and F/N.

Shortly after you rang the doorbell, a somewhat stressed F/N opened the door with her daughter in her arms. Little Juna grew so incredibly fast in your eyes.

"The babysitter has canceled. But Juna knows how to behave, so we didn't want to cancel today since everyone had found time."

Little Juna waved to her aunt and spread her arms to give you a welcoming hug.

"Hello my sweetie, how are you?" you asked happily and kissed the little one on the head.

Yoongi came around the corner and greeted you friendly before he kissed your friend on the cheek and disappeared back into the living room. You couldn't wait to live this life with your Jimin. As you greeted everyone, you noticed your other friends were there too, but without their son. Another couple in your friend group made it too, but they always carried their child with them; fifth month pregnant. There were happy families all around you, and you felt your excitement rise. Finally the doorbell rang and Jimin joined the group.

You immediately pulled him aside with a big grin and disappeared with him to your friend's bedroom. "I have to tell you something Chim.", you said, trembling with excitement. You were sure that he would be happy with you.

Jimin raised an eyebrow tightly. Unfortunately, he wasn't as enthusiastic as you were, he already suspected something. And if that were true, his whole world would fall apart.

"I'm pregnant."

You waited anxiously for his reaction, but he just stared into your eyes silently. "Aren't you happy?" You asked after a while of silence.

You began to worry. Didn't he want a family with you yet?

Or didn’t he want one with you at all? The panic slowly spread inside you.

"Who was it.", Jimin pressed out between his teeth, still fixed on your eyes. "What do you mean?" "Who was it that you fucked behind my back?!"

Your heart immediately slipped into your pants. "Where did you get this idea now?"

Jimin started laughing hysterically and rubbed his forehead. "I should have known. That one day you didn't answer my call, it was because you were with him. And when we spent our evening he kept writing you messages, he was the one that spammed. God, I'm so stupid."

You felt caught and couldn't say anything. You felt guilty, it had only been a one-time thing, but since then Mark, the guy you slept with, hasn't left you alone and didn't understand that he didn’t mean anything to you. You deeply regretted your mistake and hoped to save it with this family cause, but it backfired completely.

Jimin shouted some things at you, about how you could do that to him and that he had loved you, he even bursted into tears but continued to yell carelessly.

Shortly afterwards, Yoongi stormed into the room and stared at both of you.

"Jimin, what's wrong? Calm down."

"I can't calm down hyung. She cheated on me. The love of my life betrayed me."

"And how do you know that?" Yoongi asked carefully.

"She's pregnant.” Yoongi's eyes widened and he looked at you in shock, while you still didn't understand what was going on,crying hard already.

"I'll go now before worse happens.", Jimin said and left the apartment with a loud bang.

You looked at Yoongi questioningly, waiting for an explanation.

"Jimin ... can't have children. He’s born with it. He just never knew how to tell you because he was afraid of losing you."

It was winter again. That meant it was time for you to wrap yourself in your cozy blanket and drink tea on the sofa. Your motivation to do anything other than that was low anyway.

You switched on the television and tried to distract yourself, but as usually it was of no use.

"I'm back home tonight. Minne is sleeping in her bed. See you later, I love you." you felt that someone gave you a kiss on your cheek.

"Mmm.", you replied silently and didn't even bother to look into Mark’s eyes.

Mark looked at you with a sad expression on his face but said nothing and simply left your apartment. After you had done everything possible to talk to Jimin again, but he blocked it off completely and simply packed his things and left, you had given up and did what you thought was right.

Minne needed a father, her father, so you decided to give Mark a chance. For your child.

You didn't regret this decision, you didn't really care about it. Nothing but your daughter was of any value to you. Time passed and your daughter Minne was born. The little one was now 1 year old, so it was almost two years since you had last seen Jimin.

Again and again you asked the boys how he was and they told you he was doing well, making his dreams come true and slowly feeling happy again.

You were happy about it, you only wished him the best, but it hurt at the same time to realize that you were suffering so much and he just moved on. But you didn't deserve anything else.

After you took the last sip of your tea, you got up to put the cup in the sink and check on Minne again. "Hello my darling. Are you feeling good hm?" You mumbled against her head and kissed her. Minne was still sleeping calmly and didn’t seem to be disturbed in her sleep by her visitor. You went back to the living room and cleaned up a bit while you thought about your life. Your relationship with Mark was almost nonexistent. You let yourself be kissed by him, but otherwise there was no touching at all and you hardly spoke to him. Obviously he noticed all of this, but said nothing, hoping that time would heal your wounds and you would finally be ready for a real relationship with him.

But the only one who was buzzing around in your head was Jimin. It was almost two years ago and on the one hand it felt like an eternity the last time you touched him, on the other hand the pain of the loss felt like it was yesterday.

You sighed depressed and let yourself fall back onto the sofa. You had nothing to do, but you didn’t feel like doing anything either. Every day was like the other. Get up in the morning, take care of Minne, take care of the household, cook for everyone, go to sleep.

You assumed it would go on like this for the rest of your sad life.

But as fate would have it, you got a call with which everything began to change again.

You checked your cell phone and saw Yoongi calling you. Yoongi? You were wondering what he could want as you answered.

"Yoongi?" - "Y/N? No matter what, don't open the door!"

Startled but above all surprised, you opened your eyes and stared at your free hand. "And why?" - "Doesn't matter, trust me. It's not good. Don't answer no matter how often the doorbell rings. I'll be with you in an hour."

Without saying anything else, Yoongi hung up and you were still staring at your hand in confusion. Why shouldn't you open the door? Who would come and what would happen if you opened anyway? You sat cross-legged in front of the TV, but didn't concentrate on what was going on in the series. You stared at the door and waited for something to stir.

This was the first time in a long time that anything exciting happened in your life, so there was a tingle in your stomach. Suddenly there was a violent knock on your door and although you had stared at it and waited exactly for this to happen, you twitched in shock.

You put your covers aside and walked slowly towards the door. Except for a knock every 2 seconds, nothing could be heard. You couldn't make out who it was because you couldn't hear a voice and the person held a hand over the spy on the door.

Should you really open it? Yoongi sure didn’t warn you for nothing and if he even wanted to come by, it had to be something really serious. However, something inside you said you should open that door. You slowly lifted your hand and put it on the doorknob, gently pushed it down and pulled the door open.

Since the person had put his hand on the spy and apparently supported himself on the door, he stumbled a little step inward. "I didn't think you'd open." Jimin slurred and grinned a little at you. Those were the first words you had heard from Jimin's mouth in 2 years, the first time you faced each other again.

"Why shouldn't I open?”

"I know that Yoongi called you. Thank you for always having your own head and never listening to others.", Jimin said and smiled again, closed the door behind him and leaned against the wall. He ran his hand through his hair and took a look around. "Nothing has changed." - "Have you been drinking?", you asked worriedly. Jimin wasn't a great drinker, he didn't really like it and stayed away from it most of the time. At least that was what you knew back then. "Don't worry, I'm used to it.", he giggled and held his head, apparently feeling dizzy.

You pulled him onto the sofa and grabbed your cell phone, quickly walking to the bedroom to make a call. "Yoongi, you don't need to come."

"So he's already there and you opened the door. Damn Y/N, can't you listen to someone just for once? It's not good for both of you. Jimin drinks a lot and has thrown his life away since you broke up. Every time he drank he wanted to see you but we stopped him, he should forget you and move on but he never could. Strangely enough, he escaped us today and we didn't find him again.”

"But I want to talk to him."

Yoongi knew he couldn't win this battle and gave up. He had tried his best to protect you two, but if you were so stubborn and wanted each other, maybe you just belonged to each other. No matter how much pain you had to go through. "Do what you need to do but take good care of him." You dialed the next number and waited for someone to answer it.

"Honey, is everything all right? You never call me."

"Please sleep at a friend’s today, I need time for myself and a little distance. We'll see you again tomorrow." you said and didn't wait for an answer but hung up straight away.

Sighing, you threw your cell phone on the bed and stared out the window until you could feel warm hands around you hips pulling you closer.

Jimin slowly laid his head on your shoulder and completely enclosed your body with his arms. "I missed you so much, jagi.", he whispered in your ear and gave you goosebumps all over your body. Immediately a tear ran down your cheek, but you made no move to wipe it away. "I missed you too, chim.", you whispered back just as softly.

When Jimin heard that you still called him that after all these years, he buried his face in your hair and tried to hold back his tears.

"You should go to sleep. You have been drinking and probably regret what you are doing when you wake up in the morning." Jimin immediately shook his head vigorously and began to distribute small, gentle kisses on your neck. You drew in a sharp breath in surprise, but tilted your head to give him more space. You hadn't let anyone close to you for two years.

Jimin remembered exactly where your weak point were and began to suck and bite the area. You moaned slightly and Jimin grinned against your skin, his breath tickling pleasantly.

"Jimin .. stop ..", you tried to say, but wished for nothing more than that he wouldn't listen to you. "How am I supposed to stop when you say my name like that?", he growled against your shoulder and began to run his hands over your body.

But apprupt he stopped and stood motionless for a few seconds.

"Jimin?", you asked, unable to see his face as you were still leaning your back on him. You were afraid that he had changed his mind and would decide to leave now. "That guy had been touching you like that since we last saw each other, right?” You immediately shook your head. "I didn't let anyone touch me like that again."

Jimin let out a relieved breath and pulled you a little closer to him. "Me neither. It's been way too long ...", he muttered and ran his hands under your top. Finally feeling Jimin's touch on your skin again made you gasp again. "Did you miss me that much?" He whispered against your ear and then bit it lightly. You could only nod.

"Tell me that you missed me."

"I missed you so much Jimin."

"Tell me that you are sorry."

"I cannot put into words how much I regret it. I am so sorry for what I did. Not a day goes by that I do not regret it."

"Tell me you love me. Me and only me."

"I only love you Jimin and I will never love anyone else."

"Tell me you want me."

"I want you Jimin."

"Good girl," he breathed against your skin as one hand wandered into your pants. You sighed in relish and made Jimin move his hand even faster. Your body shook slightly and you breathed in and out irregularly. You longed for Jimin's lips and wanted to turn around, but Jimin wouldn't let that happen.

"Not yet, baby." You could feel that Jimin was also aroused so you rubbed your body against his. "That's unfair, I have the upper hand here. Stop turning me on so much." Jimin replied in response and made you grin. You continued to move your ass against his already hardening dick, earning a groan in response. "I can't wait any longer." Jimin muttered and pulled his hand out. He turned you towards him and took off your top before doing the same with his.

You gently stroked Jimin's chest and bit your lower lip. Jimin grinned when he noticed how you admired his body and grabbed your ass. You jumped and wrapped your legs around his waist, your hands around his neck. He pressed you against the wall next to you and only a few millimeters separated your lips. "Say my name", he breathed against your lips.

"Jimin .."

"I'm the only one who can touch you like that. I'm the only one you can touch like that. My name is the only one you can moan. Understand?” You nodded.

"I'll make sure everyone knows." He began to bite and suck on your neck again, only stronger this time. You whimpered softly, stroking his hair and enjoying his lips on you. There were so many nights you dreamed of this to happen again. After a while he stopped and looked at his work. He nodded happily to himself and looked at your face again.

Finally your lips touched and the tears quietly rolled down your face. His lips were still as soft as they were back then and even though he had drunk alcohol he still tasted like strawberries. Jimin noticed your tears and removed a hand from your bottom to wipe them away from your cheek. "You will never have another reason to cry, I promise you.", he whispered and placed soft kisses on your lips. You pulled him closer and made out passionately, the tension of two years finally breaking down. Two years of pain, two years of regret and longing after each other. Two years of wishing that things turned out different, but now was the time to destroy the circle. All you could think about was you and him, your Jimin kissing all over your skin and stroking your body as if he didn’t know it best already. "Jimin ... how long are you going to keep me waiting?", you breathed out. You really enjoyed this, but you needed more. You needed all of him and you could tell that he felt the same way. “No wait anymore, we waited for way too long with this.”, he replied and brought you over to your bed. He put you down gently and hovered above immediately, kissing every spot of your exposed skin. Normally you would close your eyes to concentrate on the feeling, but there was no way you could look away now. You still couldn’t believe that this really happened, suddenly you felt as drunk as Jimin probably was and you were afraid as soon as you closed your eyes, you’d realize that it’s all just a dream. “You’re still so so stunning, nothing changed.”, he mumbled against your stomach. “You only got more beautiful with time.” You felt your cheeks turning red. Mark told you things like this all the time, but they never made you feel like Jimin's words did. Jimin opened his pants and you did the same. “Hey, I wanted to do that in a second.”, he said with a pout. You chuckled. “I’m sorry, I just have no patience at all, I really need to feel you now.” As soon as you both were fully naked, Jimin placed himself between your legs and began to kiss your breasts while his hand stroked all over your body. You watched how his dick twitched with every moan and whine coming from your lips, especially when it was his name. Jimin stroked your thighs and looked into your eyes. “I will make you mine again.”, he groaned against your lips while he entered you slowly. You gasped softly, feeling how his dick stretched you out. Both of you could tell that the last time was long ago, way too long ago. Jimin didn’t move, instead he caressed your body with soft kisses and strokes over your skin. You buried a hand into his hair and noticed that he let it grow a bit, it seemed like he even dyed it a shade lighter than you were used to but it looked amazing on him. Your lips found their way to his neck, kissing up to his ear before you asked him to move. He began to move his body against yours, thrusting into you slow but steady. You moaned, stroking over his sides and his back while you started to roll your hips against his. “God I missed feeling you, I missed feeling you close.”, he whispered into your ear. “I love you so much, Y/N.” You held him close, moaning into the kiss while you made out longingly. “I love you too, so much.”, you replied with a shaky voice. You were sure you would cry if you weren’t so full of lust right now. “Faster Jimin, please.”, you whined, rolling your hips more desperately than before. He granted your wish and thrusted into you faster, deeper, harder. “You feel so good around me baby, you’re all mine.”, he groaned and continued to mark your neck. There was almost no space left to do so, but he didn’t mind. Jimin just moved his lips to your shoulder and then to your collarbone and your chest. You pulled his hair softly as you began to clench around him, your orgasm building up in your lower stomach. Jimin noticed and moved against you just the way he knew it would drive you crazy, he still knew your body so well, you thought. “Say that you’re mine Y/N, tell me who you belong to.”, Jimin demanded and licked around your sensitive nipple. “Y-you Jimin I only belong to you.”, you whined desperately, the noises you made becoming louder the faster Jimin thrusted into you. “I always belonged to you Jimin, I never stopped being yours.” He loved to hear this from you, the past years were way too painful to even think about it anymore. All he wanted to do was to forget and start over with you, finally starting a life with the love of his life. Jimin was lost in you and you felt the same way as your bodies pressed against each other while your tongues played your old melody together. It didn’t take much longer for both of you to come undone, the intense ecstasy rushing through every cell of your bodies. You moaned each other’s names while you came, holding each other close after cooling down. Jimin buried his head in your neck, kissing your skin lazily. You smiled contently, stroking his back and just enjoying the moment fully, You didn’t feel like this for so long that it was more than just a blessing to you, it saved your life, made it worth living again. For a while you just lay there without saying a word, because you never needed any words to understand each other. You just needed to be with the other to speak without making a noise. Slowly though, you drifted off to sleep with a smile on your lips, noticing that Jimin snored softly already.

The warm rays of the sun shone in your face and you heard your daughter laughing softly while you woke up. You carefully opened your eyes and sat up. You took a look at the empty space next to you in bed. Had he changed his mind?

But it made no sense that he was already gone because you were still wearing his shirt.

Maybe he just left without waking you up to not make things embarrassing? Maybe he had been picked up from someone that had brought him a shirt? You started to feel sick and decided to get up. With quick steps you went to the kitchen from which you heard the noises and saw how Jimin cooked while holding your little daughter in his arms.

You made no noise and enjoyed the view that you had wanted to see for so long.

Jimin turned the pancake before putting the spatula to the side and now holding Minne with both arms. She put her little hands on his face and he smiled at her lovingly.

"Usually she doesn't let people get close to her that fast.", you said and Jimin immediately looked at the door.

"So that's Minne. Yoongi told me about her." You went up to Jimin and he gave you Minne on your arm. "What do we do now?", you asked carefully, scared what the answer might be. Jimin frowned in confusion. "Well, first of all I wanted to have breakfast, but if I see you in my shirt like that, we could prepone round two.", he said and grinned cheekily.

You laughed and hit his arm playfully before quickly getting Minne back into bed.

"I'm serious Jimin. You acted rashly yesterday, maybe you regret it. I am not angry if that’s the case. I did something terrible to you and I can understand if you cannot forgive me. You owe me nothing." - "I don't want to lie to you, it hurt like hell when I found out what you did. But these two years without you hurt a lot more. My anger faded away more and more and only my pain remained. Especially the pain not to have you with me anymore." Jimin walked up to you and pulled you into his embrace. "Yesterday you told me that you only love me, that you will always love and that you missed me. I want to hold onto this and try again, make it better this time. I don't want to say what you did wasn’t wrong, but if I had been there for you more I wouldn't have driven you into someone else's arms. I promise to be a better man than I was, that means only if you still want me.” You grabbed Jimin's neck and pulled him down to kiss him. After that, you placed a hundred little kisses all over his face and made him laugh. "Is that a yes?"

"Of course that's a yes. I love you Jiminie and I'll never let you go again."

Jimin and you decided not to change clothes yet and to take a rest on the couch after breakfast. However, he couldn't keep his fingers off you and kept pulling the shirt you were wearing a little higher to stroke your skin underneath. "Jiminie don't do that, I'm still in pain from yesterday I need a bit more time.", you laughed and Jimin pouted. "I've only just got you back and you're forbidding me to satisfy my needs."

Jimin pulled you onto his lap and kissed you gently. "You don't get what you want like that chim.", you laughed, but put your hands around his neck and pulled him closer to you.

Jimin grinned into the kiss. "Apparently yes," he muttered as you kissed him deeply.

But suddenly you heard how the door was unlocked and jumped away from Jimin, who just looked at you questioningly. "Hello darling, I hope you have gained enough distance, I missed you -", Mark's gaze met Jimin's and he fell silent. You only looked from one to the other and were slowly getting scared, if looks could kill both would be dead now.

At some point, Jimin's gaze broke away from Mark and he looked at you. "I thought there was nothing?" - "There wasn't ..."

"Oh, so our relationship was nothing?", Mark raised his voice.

"I did it for Minne! She needed her father and I thought it was the right thing ..." You fell silent. "So you lied yesterday?" Jimin asked coldly. "No, I didn't! Nothing ever happened between us." Mark ran up to you, but Jimin immediately stood protectively in front of you and looked at him aggressively. "Come one step closer and it won’t turn out good for you."

"Y/N, let's talk about it. We are Minne's parents, don't you want to be able to offer her an intact family?", Mark ignored Jimin's words and spoke directly to you. You wanted the best for your daughter, but you also wanted the best for yourself. You didn't want to lose Jimin again. "Please go, Mark. We'll talk another time about how we manage everything regarding Minne, okay?.", you tried to say calmly, but your voice was still trembling. “You are her father and you always will be. But my love life does not depend on this. I’m sure we will find a good solution that will make everyone happy.” You were sorry to the marrow, but you loved Jimin more than anything and there was no point in denying it.

"You can't be serious?", Mark asked with a sarcastic laugh and took a step closer.

"Didn't you hear her?" Jimin pressed out. You immediately noticed how angry Jimin got and that his patience would soon find an end, so you put your hand comfortingly on his back and he let out a heavy breath. “Mark, I am really sorry that my decision hurts you, but this isn’t right for us. I am not happy and I’m sure you are not happy with me either. I never gave you what you needed and you are someone that deserves more than this.”, you tried to explain and you meant every word of it. “I really like you and I want you to be a part of my and Minnes life, but in a different way. I’m sorry.”

Without another word, Mark stormed out of the apartment and slammed the door behind him. Jimin turned to you and looked at you with raised eyebrows.

"I didn't lie, nothing happened between us. He only kissed me now and then, but otherwise nothing happened. We didn’t even call it a relationship."

"He cuddled with you, saw you every day and touched you. Just because you didn't have sex I'm not completely relieved.” You sighed in frustration. "I understand you, but you really don't have to worry, I never wanted him the way I want you." Suddenly you felt Jimin's tight grip on your waist and how he pressed you against the wall. "You were a bad girl when I was gone," he said quietly, looking straight into your eyes. You looked at him in surprise and opened your mouth, but said nothing.

"Do I have to punish you?"

"Jiminie...?"

"It’s Jimin for you.", he corrected you and gave you a cheeky grin.

"What-"

"Hush baby, don't say anything," he whispered against your lips. "I didn't like the way he looked at you at all. That he always had you with him for the last few years. That makes me very sad." Jimin licked his lips playfully and lightly touched yours with it.

"You'll have to make it up to me. I thought about round two we were talking about already...” You sighed in relief as you heard his chuckle. “Hey stop! I thought you were seriously upset about Mark, but then this..."

"I am really upset about it. But I can't do anything about it, I can't blame you for thinking of your daughter. I love you and I wanted to use my jealousy for both of us at least."

"You're crazy," you muttered, giggling against Jimin's chest, as he pulled you closer in his arms. "Crazy about you." He kissed your forehead and sighed happily.

"Part of me wishes that Mark never comes near you, but I understand that he's Minne's dad. I can't just push myself in between. I'm sorry if I might be in a bad mood in the future when he’s over to visit Minne, but be sure that I can understand."

"You really are the most understanding man that I know.", you stated astonished and once again overjoyed to be able to call him your boyfriend again.

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guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom · 3 years

Text

Hell and Back Pt. 2

Peter Parker x bisexual!reader

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Peter Parker x black!reader

Peter Parker x villain!reader

Warnings: Language, hospital mentions, mentions of drug abuse, allusions to suicide, allusion to self harm, self deprecating thoughts, a gun, mentions of knives, mentions of the dead, anxiety, signs of abuse, abusive and toxic relationships, and fainting.

Word Count: 6.1k

Songs: Pleaser-Wallows, 505-Artic Monkeys, Sweater Weather- The Neighborhood, Daddy Issues- The Neighborhood, Paper Planes- M.I.A, We come running- Youngblood Hawke, Young dumb and broke- Khalid, Do I wanna know- Artic Monkeys, Break the Rules- Charli XCX

“I smiled, I know as much as we get into petty arguments or try to annoy each other on purpose but I’d go to hell and back for those girls. And that’s exactly what I was going to do.”

A/N: There might be some typos and grammatical errors sorry for those, I you want to be added to the Taglist just message me about or comment it. I’ll have a google form for it soon.

Series Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

When I saw my little sisters, that all went away. Sure I still called them a lot but nothing could compare to actually seeing them in person. Sapphire launched herself into my arms and I stumbled back a bit.

“I missed you too,” I said.

I hugged Aaliyah too. When I entered the apartment I heard voices. My dad’s and some feminine voice.

I walked in to find some woman who couldn't be older than 25 in my kitchen. Talking and laughing with my dad. I didn’t want to assume anything or start a scene so I just went into my room to catch up with my sisters.

We were talking about some kid who gave me a DMT pen once and I was tripping balls which I probably shouldn’t be talking about, but I want them to feel comfortable enough to come to me. Makes it easier to keep them safe.

Our dad opened the door and hung in the doorway.

“Hey… Y/N do you mind coming here for a sec?”

“Yeah sure…”

I stepped out of the room.

“Is something wrong?” It wasn’t often that he initiated a conversation that would end positively.

“No,no, not at all, I just want you to meet someone,”

When I entered the kitchen the same woman from before was still there. My dad walked over to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“This is my girlfriend, Camilla”

I knew it . I knew it! I was trying not to be hostile toward her every problem I had was towards my dad so I smiled and waved to her.

“Camilla this is Y/N,” he pointed to me.

“Well I’ll let y’all get acquainted,” He said before leaving the room.

I sat on the kitchen island and waited for her to say something first.

“Look, I would just like to put it out there that I’m not trying to replace your mom in anyway.”

“Thanks I appreciate it,”

“Also, are you okay now?” She asked in a low voice.

“Huh?” I questioned.

“Your dad said you ran away,” Of course he did “and I saw the news with your school at the Washington Monument.” So I guess she knew more about me then expected. Not surprised she was the one to ask me and not my so called dad.

“Thanks for your concern but I’m fine, and sorry to cut this conversation short but I’m drained.”

“Oh, okay, have a nice night,”

“You, too,”

I didn’t have time to think about anything. I just made it back to my room and face planted onto my bed. My whole being was sore including my brain. I didn’t have the energy to change my clothes, to shower, to think about my dad being a pathological liar or anything else that happened today.

I was awoken by my dad. I didn't know how long I slept but the sun was out. I can’t remember the last time I was able to sleep while the sun was up.

“Hey we’re going out, for family bonding and I want you there with us,”

Family.

We ain’t ever been a family before why start now. Is what I really wanted to say but I sucked it up because again I hadn’t seen my sisters in a while.

The movie was really boring. If we’re being honest.

I pulled Aaliyah and Sapphire aside as my dad and Camilla were deep in conversation.

“You know how I was staying at Wade’s house right?”

They both nodded.

“What did dad tell you about this,”

Sapphire just shrugged and Aaliyah was the one to post.

“I dunno he didn’t say much like usual he just kinda said you just left,”

I felt my jaw tightening as I processed her words, my fist clenching by my side.

“Oh, oh okay,” I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth a couple times “Well I just want you to know I’d never leave y’all without a very good reason, and I never won’t come back,”

By the time we got back to the house it was around twelve since we watched another movie and went to a restaurant. Then got ice cream. This is the most money my dad could’ve possibly spent on me in a long time. I mean he didn’t because I didn’t get anything and bought my own ticket. I didn’t want him to be able to use the fact he bought me stuff against me. I’d gotten tired of the “after I’ll I’ve done for you,” excuse.

I couldn’t sleep. No matter what I tried I couldn’t sleep. I tried NyQuil, melatonin, and even tea. The tea really did more harm than good.

This was an extremely stupid thing to do so don’t follow my lead but I was bored.

I grabbed a lot of useless shit from the floor of my room and made my way to the roof. I poured hand sanitizer on it and set it on fire. Putting aside the fact that it was really weird the fire was oddly beautiful. I sat there watching it for a minute before stomping it out.

I was going to text my friend Carmen but I realized she was supposed to be asleep and I didn’t want to get her in trouble.

I ended up scrolling through Zillow for a while then that turned into me applying for like four jobs. In which turned into me making spamming multiple friends saying we needed to hang out.

While I was on Zillow there was a relatively cheap apartment in Queens. Which was close to my school. It kept drawing me in for some reason. I bookmarked the tab.

Before I knew it the sun was up. I figured if I couldn’t sleep I would go on a walk to the park.

When I got back to the complex everyone was still asleep except my dad who walked outside like he was waiting on me. He grabbed my arm, squeezing it tightly.

He basically told me I looked like a prostitute. I was running so my sports bra and leggings were actually pretty appropriate. He said that I was probably going out to fuck people and that’s where I always was. I opened my mouth to defend myself.

“Actually I was just going to the-“ I was cut off by a sharp sting on my cheek.

He fucking slapped me. Hard at that. He then grabbed my arm even tighter than before dragging me into the house.

I don’t know what hurt worse my face or that fact that I wouldn’t be able to blame him being drunk on all the times he’d hit me before. He was just an ass.

By the time I made it back to my room it felt like my body was burning itself from the inside out. My face was red and so was my arm from my elbow to almost my wrist. To try to cool myself down I took a cold shower and took some Tylenol.

I still couldn’t sleep but tonight it was because it was so hot. I really needed a fan in my room. It was already 6 so I just decided to get a head start at the school. Not without taking pictures of my bruises before covering them with green concealer and foundation. I wore a hoodie for good measure.

I felt dizzy and decided it was probably best not to skate at the moment and I’m 90% sure I fell asleep on the subway. Apparently we had an art project due which I had no idea existed in the first place so I wasn’t going to that class today. Even though I did truly love Ms. Kramer. I was just gonna skip and go to Bri’s class. Which just happened to be chemistry.

I wasn’t surprised Mr. Cobwell asked no question when I walked in. I ate lunch in his class a couple times, he was chill. He continued on talking about Quantum Theory.

I made Flash move from his seat next to Bri which he immediately did. I guess he was scared of me now.

“Hey,” I said, placing my non bruised side of my face on the desk.

“Hey,” She whispered back. “What class are you supposed to be in?”

“Art,”

“Why are you there? You love art,”

“I’m not feeling it today,”

“Alright,” she nodded.

“Lemme use your AirPods,”

She reached into her bag handing them over going back to taking notes. That didn’t last long.

“What ya watching?” She asked.

“Bad Girls Club,” I smiled knowing she liked this show.

“What season?”

“7,” I whispered because now I felt too weak to waste my energy on speaking. I placed the phone on my lap and she took the other AirPod and before I knew I class was over with Tasha throwing trash everywhere.

I figured I was feeling sick because my blood sugar was low or something so I drank some Apple juice at lunch and called it a day.

Now time for Physics. I hate physics. Why would science ever require so much math?

It was so hot. Like on the face of the sun, hot but I couldn’t take my hoodie off because I felt like I’d sweat my foundation off.

“Are you okay?” Peter asked me “You look pale,” I swear if he doesn’t learn to mind his business.

“I’m fine,” I told him, not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself, I gestured to his notebook. “Do your work,”

“Alright fine,” he said reluctantly, glancing at me once before getting back to writing whatever we were supposed to be doing down.

I pulled my hoodie back over my head and sat up in my seat about to try to do my work again. But it was so hot and I was so dizzy that I couldn’t focus.

The world began to swirl and I knew the switch in my brain was going to flip off. I just didn’t have time or enough energy to tell anyone.

When I woke up I was in a bed in the nurse's office and the first thing I noticed was I didn’t have my hoodie. Shit. I used to make fun of people for passing out because how does your own body clock out on you? Until it started happening to me like last year.

I went into the bathroom and sure enough the giant bruise on my cheek and arm were kinda visible.

Again shit.

I patted my forehead with a cold paper towel because the nurse’s bathroom actually had paper towels unlike all the others, before the nurse came back.

“Hello, Are you feeling okay?”

I nodded. She smiled down at me before giving me water and checking my temperature.

“You have a fever,” she said after looking down at the thermometer “We called dad to come and pick you up but we got no answer. Is there anyone else that can come and take you?”

I shook my head, not trusting my voice.

I drank some more of the water before speaking up.

“I have a friend who’s at this school she could maybe drop me off?”

“I’m not sure if that’s allowed,” she said.

“You know what? Go back to class, get your friend and come right back.”

I pushed off the bed and headed out of the nurses office surprised to find Peter sitting on the bench outside it.

“Are you okay?” He asked me again

“Yes I’m okay” I nodded. Apparently I wasn’t as okay as I thought because I almost tripped over my leg trying to move. But Peter immediately reached his hand out to stabilize me. And I don’t know why that made me as angry as it was but I said “I don’t need you to help,” harsher than I need to.

“Sorry,” I said calmly almost immediately after.

“It’s okay,” He said scratching the back of his neck.

“If you don’t mind me asking where’d these bruises come from,”

“I fell,” was all I said. He looked skeptical but that was all he was going to get, I didn’t need CPS all up in my business. That’s also payback for him lying to me about “cat scratches”.

“Can you do me a favor?” I asked.

“Yeah, anything,” he said.

“Can you go get Briana from Mr. Dell’s class for me?”

“Yeah I’ll be right back,” he said before sprinting down the hallway. I giggled at his giddiness. It was still extremely hot everywhere my body was tingling.

Bri ran towards me

“Oh my god are you okay,”

“I’m fine, I just need you to talk to the nurse with me real quick,”

She apparently didn’t have her car with her today so she was a no go.

“I’m sorry girl,” she said, pulling me into a hug.

“It’s okay, go back to class now,” I said.

“Alright feel better,”

I walked back out of the office to find none other than Peter still waiting there.

“So what happened?” He asked.

“Looks like I’m walking home,” I smiled sarcastically. “Yay,”

“I can walk you home,”

“No, thank you”

“I insist,” I laughed again

“I still think that word is funny,” I said.

“Okay, now let me walk you home,”

We were walking in no general direction. No one but MJ and Bri know my address and I’d like to keep it that way.

“Wait, you need food,” He claimed.

We ended up at this place called Delmar’s Deli. I’d passed it a couple times while walking home and during my less legal “hobby”. I really wasn’t hungry at all. I took all of like two bites from my sandwich claiming I’d take it to go before throwing it away. It wasn’t bad, it was quite good, actually I just wasn’t hungry.

“My aunt is a nurse at an emergency room, she can check you out,” I hate anything that's anything like a hospital at all brings terrible memories, but I didn’t want him to know where I lived so I agreed. I’d ditch him then.

It took us a while to get there but by the time we did I had to stop and catch my breath. He offered to walk me home and got me food. What a Spiderman thing to do. I’d say I had much solid proof to go on by now.

“Peter!” The gorgeous brunette woman came over to the waiting room “What are you doing here don’t you have school?”

“Yeah but my friend-“ When her eyes ghosted over to my face she cut herself off. “Oh my God are you okay,” she referred to my bruises “What happened to you?”

“Did Flash do this to her?” She asked Peter and I had to stifle a laugh at that. I wish he would try to lay a finger on me.

“No, she just told me she fell, we’re here cause she fainted and I don’t know if the school nurse is very capable of actually helping,”

Is this a new thing Peter just decides to randomly worry about me for no good reason and forces me into taking care of myself. Because I hate it.

“Oh, ok,” She nodded her head. “Grab one of those questionnaires over there,” She pointed to the sign in table. “Are your parents going to come too?” She asked and I shook my head.

She and Peter moved over to the side and started talking about something I had no interest in. I grabbed the questionnaire and sat on the edge of the closest seat.

1. What’s your age?

That’s easy 15.

2. Specify your race

African American of course.

3. Select your highest level of education

Some high school

4. What’s your marital status?

Single never married. Unless you count that un-ordained wedding I once had.

5. Specify your employment status

A student.

6. Have you ever been treated in an emergency room (specify age)?

Yes, as a child.

7. Have you ever been rushed to the hospital? If yes, do you remember why?

Okay wow. Yes.

I sat on the cold bathroom floor, vision blurry from tears forming in my eyes.

“Y/N, you okay in there?” I heard my brother ask after lightly rapping his fingers on the door.

“Yeah, I’m okay!”

No I wasn’t. I wasn’t okay at all. In fact I was the farthest thing from okay. I glanced down at my thighs, you could see cuts from the night before and scars peeking out from underneath my shorts. I was sobbing at this point.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. I wasn’t sure if it was for myself or to everyone I knew I’d hurt by this. I already had the headache. I was just waiting for the rest of the pills to kick in.

I was holding onto the sink for support when the left side of my body started to feel tingly. The whole situation felt hazy. I was shaking hard before I fell, taking almost everything on the sink with me.

My head hit the bathmat and I could feel my heart slowing and hear my breath become shallow. I heard the doorknob jingle and that was the last thing before a feeling of true bliss and peace took over my body.

I could hear screams and sirens and I knew I was in an ambulance. Slowly I awoke with wires all over my body and an IV in my wrist. My limbs were dead weight, I couldn’t move.

A single tear fell from my eye alerting me off my surroundings. I quickly came back to myself. I made up the excuse of a family emergency and left.

I ended up halfway across the city. Then in Brooklyn visiting a friend.

I knocked on the window of Aaron’s apartment. I could see Miles sitting on the couch.

“How’ve things been over here?” I asked once I was settled on the couch as well.

“Uh, pretty tame, and you?”

“There was that whole elevator stunt and I almost fucking died which was fun.”

“Forgot you never take anything seriously,” He rolled his eyes.

I laughed in response “Well one of us has got to be fun for us since it’s clearly not you,”

“In celebration of me not dying I’m making sundaes,”

“Alright,” He said leaning back on the couch.

“Hey uh, When’s Aaron coming back?” I asked, getting the whipped cream out of the fridge.

“I’m not sure,”

This is actually like really fucking dangerous. Like it could kill me. It’s just I was already in pain and had a headache. I also wasn’t thinking. I’d already made the sundaes. I turned around so Miles couldn’t see what I was doing before I- Okay I’m not going to do this. Get it together God you’re acting like an addict. The amount of people who’ve died from inhalants were insane. There it is again death.

“Drawn anything new lately?” I asked, wanting to get my mind off of the topic of death that seemed to be plaguing my brain lately.

“Some small sketches,”

I got the text that’d I been waiting for. I’d been talking to Aaron for the past few days. I’m not sure how Miles would feel about that. So I haven’t said anything.

But I got the text.

Staten Island Ferry 3pm

I immediately popped up from the couch.

“I have to go like right now, it’s an emergency,”

I sprinted towards the door almost running into the punching bag in front of me.

“Y/N-“

It’d been a week and things were looking up. I had a great day yesterday without the use of any drug. But nothing good ever lasts too long. I didn’t have to worry about that now. What I needed to worry about, was getting Peter to stop falling on his ass.

I tried not to laugh at him and failed.

“It’s not funny,” he said, pulling me down with him as I reached out to pull him up. Soon he was laughing too.

I felt a vibration in my pocket and saw that Aaron texted me.

hey the results from the search came in.

what???? don’t play with me I’m on my way right now.

“Uh hey I gotta go sorry,”

“No it’s fine I probably should get home too,” He pushed off the ground reaching down for me.

“Do you wanna do this again tomorrow?” He asked a hopeful glint in his eye once we were both on our feet.

“Yeah sounds nice,” I smiled.

“Okay,” He nodded.

“Okay,” I echoed heading off.

Ned was being fucking stupid.

“NO!” I slammed my hands down on the table “You don’t stab anyone especially if you plan on using bleach to clean up the blood. At least use vinegar and lemon,”

“Okay, jeez,” he said reeling back, “How would you do it then?”

Before I could say anything MJ spoke up

“You could just use a needle full of air in between their toes, Their heart would fail”

“Orrr,” I said spinning around on top of the table towards Ned. “You could overdose them on potassium and by the time the police get there the potassium in their blood is back at a normal level,”

“Yeah that works too,” MJ stated going back to whatever she was drawing.

“You guys scare me,” Ned muttered making me smile.

“Where’s Peter?” I asked and Ned pointed across the room.

There he was sitting by Liz. It was cute I knew about his little crush on her. I’m sure the whole school did. Glad it’s working out for him. However that did not stop the pain in my stomach.

I got up from the table because suddenly I did not want to be at school anymore.

“Where are you going?” MJ looked up at me.

I shrugged. In all honesty I had no I idea where I was going. Somehow I always end up at Wade’s house when I don’t know where I want to go. He wasn’t home but I had a key. I can’t remember if he gave it to me or I stole if we're being honest.

Clearly I hadn’t passed by a mirror in a while because damn. I look terrible.

My eyes were red and circled with a dark hue from lack of sleep. I still had a yellowing bruise on my cheek. I was pale. I looked to be on the verge of death.

I looked frail, like at any second I’d just fall apart.

It was so unfair. My bones dragged down my body. The pieces of my soul that were mined out and removed from my mind. There’s a hole leaving me forever longing and I cannot fill nor feel. Hiraeth, a beautiful word for a ugly feeling. longing for a home that I never truly had, a home in which I’d never return. I would like to drift to where my spirit lies. It’s in the eyes of you and me and everyone in between. Drifting on a small boat in the sea. Viridian. Yes! That's the place I would like to be, that's where my soul lies yes you see.

I kept punching his punching bag over and over again. Until I was on my back on the floor begging my lungs to allow air into them with Time (Is) by Solange playing on loop. Something put it into my head that I had to kill Vulture. I’d never directly killed anyone but that was gonna change. Having people killed or knowing someone was going to kill someone and not doing anything about isn’t killing anyone in my book, but I’m sure it would be in Spidey’s

That’s literally Liz’s dad though…

Okay maybe I’d just get him locked up. Great now I gotta be a snitch. That’s new. I showered not even caring about my hair now my curls were sticking to my face. I was freezing now though. I didn’t know whether to be glad that my body wasn’t on fire anymore or be upset that I was covered in goosebumps.

Wade’s laptop was sitting right there on his bed. I was only taking a shower but, I think I should be allowed to watch Netflix and he wouldn’t mind, I was already on his account anways.

After like 3 episodes into this random show there was a folder that was calling to me for some reason.

It’d be okay to take a sneak peek. I thought to myself.

I clicked on it and it was locked. I guessed the password in like three tries. He’s really gotta up his password game. It opened to multiple folders, one with my mom's name. Okay I had to click this then.

I opened it which opened to more folders one titled ‘In Case of My Death’.

Okay, okay cool my mother has had a video of what to do all if she died all along. This would’ve come in handy five years ago.

There were three videos with the names of myself and my sisters. I clicked on mine then paused it.

Then unpaused it again.

I couldn’t do it. Okay, yes I could. I played it again. As soon as I heard the beginning of the word “hi”. I shut the computer off. I couldn’t do this. Couldn't do it because I was weak, I couldn’t handle myself. I was stupid and weak and a fucking disappointment. Guess my dad had been right all these years. I knew there was always some truth to the words he spoke only a matter of time until I started acknowledging it.

I don’t remember coming home to the apartment. And I definitely don’t remember writing all over the walls of my dad’s room. But I had a marker in my hands and it looked like a toddler had gone to town.

Holy Shit

He was actually going to murder me, in cold fucking blood. I trashed, the living room area, his room, and then mine. I was not coming home tonight. Looks like I’d need to find a new home now. At this point that sounded like a pretty solid plan.

I text my sisters a quick text ‘stay at grandma’s house tonight dad is going to pissed like Super Sayian mode’ before grabbing my go-bag which was: a bag of the essentials, like hygiene a couple shirts, shorts, hoodies, pants, and of course the flash drive can't forget the flash drive.

The flash drive that’s driving me crazy. I’d yet to open it though. I knew I was crazy because I did all this while fucking sobbing.

I wandered around for hours. Making my way to Brooklyn, Manhattan, Harlem, AND actual New York City.

Somehow I still ended up at Olivia’s door at the end of the day. I honestly believe we were soulmates. Most people don’t know you get many soulmates in a lifetime. I think Olivia and I would be the karmic kind. A karmic relationship is meant to help you grow, but it is never meant to last—it's often playing out a bad experience from a past life. I’m guessing I hadn’t grown yet because here I was.

She opened the door after a second. I’m surprised she did because I used our special knock so I knew she knew it was me.

“I can’t fucking do this anymore,” I screamed in her face.

“You're the one going off and being secretive and shit, like you’re scared I’m gonna hurt you or something,” she yelled walking up the stairs.

I followed after her,

“Maybe you would hurt me. I don’t know you are insane,” I said, tears brimming my eyes.

“Just because you have fucking daddy issues, doesn’t mean you have to carrying them into every part of your life,”

“I have daddy issues?” I screamed soon turning into me choking on a laugh making an unhinged noise “Oh, I have fucking daddy issues, now? Oh, okay,” I nodded.

“Your parents didn’t even fucking want you,” I pointed at her. “At least my mom stuck around before she died,”

“You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“Yeah well right back at you,”

“You’re fucking psychotic! Literally you’re so much like your dad and you don’t even know it, You’re trying to please him and he doesn’t give two shits about you, Wake up Y/N! Wake up.”

“I’m hard on you because I love you so much,” She claimed, but her love was suffocating.

“Oh yeah? I asked “Well i don’t know how much more of this ’love’ I can take,”

“Fine then,” She screamed.

“Fine,” I said before she slammed the door in my face leaving me standing out in the cold crying.

That wasn’t even the worse we’d said to each other. It was the first but not the last time we’d break up either. I do believe we loved each other though in our own twisted way. Well at least I know I loved her.

“Hey,” She said softly as she could sense I was due to break at any second. My cheeks were probably tear stained.

“Hey,” I whispered back.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“No,” I shook my head. One thing I liked about her is I didn’t have to fake it around her, because masking my real emotions was so draining. At least I didn’t have to do it with everyone.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No,”

“Okay,” she said softly “My parents aren’t home, so you don’t have to worry about them,” not surprised.

I nodded before she grabbed my hand bringing me inside.

“I missed you,” she said stroking my hair as I laid on her bed, my head in her lap.

“I missed you too,” I wasn’t lying my head drifted to her from time to time. It wasn’t that I wanted to get back together I just missed her presence.

She smiled sadly at me running her finger over the bags on my eyes.

“Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” She quotes.

“Yeah well, ’m not queen or princess and definitely don’t have a crown, so we don’t gotta worry ‘bout me,” I said.

“You’re a princess to me,” I gave a genuine yet tired smile at that.

“You can go to sleep, it’s okay,” She said.

That was the first time I was actually able to fall asleep and without medicine or having to go on a walk or do anything really.

I woke up in the bed alone only to find Olivia sitting at her kitchen island eating spaghetti.

She smiled when she saw me coming into view.

“Sleep well?” She asked.

“Yeah surprisingly,” How long had I been asleep for I wondered.

“It’s 10 pm,” She said, still being able to read me.

I made my way over to her and sat across her.

“So what’s really going on with you miss Y/N?” She questioned.

I shrugged “I don’t know, nothing,”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself? Cause I’m not buying,”

I explained to her how my dad was being weird and how I wanted to move out now. How I had pretty much vandalized the house. How I found the video of my mom. Just everything. Well maybe not everything I didn’t tell her about Vulture because I feel like she’d try to do something and I didn’t want her to get hurt.

“Oh wow, damn... holy shit. Are you gonna watch your moms video?” She asked. Huh I hadn’t thought about that.

“I mean of course I will, yeah,” I nodded “Probably, I don’t know I’m scared,”

“Wouldn’t you rather just push the fear back and watch then wonder the rest of your life what it says.”

I sighed. Can't argue with that logic.

“I’m assuming you came here because you need a place to stay?” She said.

“Yes, I need a place to stay just for a while but I don’t want it to seem like I’m just using you I can find somewhere else,”

“Now it’s fine stay as long as you need but my dad gets back at the end of the month and we both know he doesn’t like you,” She chuckled at the last sentence and I laughed too.

I was on the ferry heading towards Staten Island now. I knew the sale was for these weird alien shits but that's pretty much all I knew. I figured I’d sort of “out bid” the buyers then get rid of everything. By outbid I mean straight up steal. Some guy in a white pickup truck is officially my target. Thorn was still on hiatus. Meaning no knives unless you count the pocket knife I always had on me, no suit. I did have a trejo though, you know just in case. I couldn’t help my mind from drifting to Pop Smoke’s “I got it on me”. I let out a small laugh.

I was hiding behind some car waiting for a crack in the plan to slip in.

That was until Spiderman showed up. It’s like he had a sixth sense to ruin all of my plans.

Shit

Well abort mission. Just as I started walking around to get to the side of the boat. The van I was next to had Vulture literally coming out of it. I knew it’d looked familiar.

I made it up to the top deck looking down on everything unfolding. So a quick rundown, the FBI was here, meaning Tony Stark or someone with government clearance probably did something because I highly doubt that Spiderman, the Spiderman that I’ve seen hit a window like a bird while swinging, had any government clearance.

See now I was looking to find a good time to make my escape. That was until that purple alien shit started spewing stuff beams of light through the ship. And fuck, I look away for one second and the new Shocker guy was gone. I turned around and saw he was running in another direction. I chased after him the rubber of my sneakers squeaking on the deck.

I jumped down onto Shocker’s back sending us both to the floor before he pushed me off. I was definitely going to be sore tomorrow and I’m pretty sure I heard something pull in my leg.

He jumped off onto the Vulture and I knew I couldn’t do anything anymore. Not like I was just going to shoot them down in public. I saw the light shooting down the middle of the ferry. I was gonna make a run for it but the loud squeal noise was so loud I fell over. Soon I was slung back into what I think was a bench not entirely sure I just knew it hurt like a bitch.

I’m pretty sure I feel unconscious for like 30 seconds.

But that was enough because the boat had already split in half and I couldn’t get to the deck or a lifeboat. However Spider-Man was frantically trying to get it together.

I was trying to be hopeful because everything was looking up, as the parts of the ship got closer together but I think we all know the saying ‘what goes up must come down’

Over the ringing in my head I could assume that things were fixed because people were cheering. One thing that comes from cheering is movement and if I learned anything from the elevator it’s that moving in a very unstable metal death box is not a good idea.

The ship was falling apart again until it wasn’t. It was pushed back together by I could only assume would be our government clearance guy Tony Stark. I looked out the window and yep there he was.

As soon as I got on solid ground I called my sisters.

“Hiii!” I exclaimed. “Where are you, are you okay?”

“Yes we’re fine, and where at grandma’s house like you told us to go to where else would we be,” I could almost hear the eye roll in Liyah’s voice.

“Okay little Miss attitude stay there until I can feel everything out with dad,”

“Alright,”

“Okay I love you guys,” I said, getting a small “love you too” from Sapphire.

“I know,” was the response I got from Liyah. I almost gasped the audacity of this child.

“Say it back,”

“Say it back,” She mocked, evoking laughter from both sides of the call.

“Okay love you too byeeee,” She said hanging up.

I smiled, I know as much as we get into petty arguments or try to annoy each other on purpose but I’d go to hell and back for those girls. And that’s exactly what I was going to do.

Taglist:

@tomdiddlyumptious

#peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader #reader x peter parker #Peter Parker x Vigilante!Reader #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x black!reader #peter parker x villian!reader #poc reader x peter parker #peter parker x bisexual!reader #peter parker x bi!reader #peter parker x thorn #thorns prick #spiderman x villian #mcu series #mcu x reader #peter parker x you #spiderman x thorn

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

Text

survey by n0b0dysp3rf3ct

—:: Who ::—

… was the last person you saw face to face?

My mom.

… was the last person you texted or messaged online? My aunt.

… was the last person who asked you for a favour? My mom earlier.

… was the last person you lent something to? I don’t recall.

… was the last person who told you a secret/confided in you? Probably my aunt.

… is the tallest person you know? My brother.

… the shortest person you know? Me, ha.

… your oldest (in years) friend? I don’t have any friends.

… is the oldest (in length of time) friend? --

… is your youngest friend? --

… is your newest friend? --

… is your closest relative? My mom and brother.

… was your favourite teacher? My 4th, who also ended up being my 8th, grade teacher.

… was your least favourite teacher? These two math professors I had at community college. They were really rude.

… did you spend the most time with when growing up? My parents, cousins, and grandparents.

… knows you the best? My mom. And ya’ll, ha.

… always beats you in games or sports? I don’t do a lot of competitive stuff, but let’s be real everyone would probably beat me cause I suck at everything.

… who is the most creative of the people you know? I have a few artistic and creative family members. I sadly did not get the gene.

… is the funniest person you know? My brother.

… is the most organised that you know? One of my aunts.

… that you know has travelled the most? My paternal grandparents and one of my uncles.

… has always been there for you? My family, especially my mom.

… has given you the most personal gift? What’s a personal gift, exactly?

… has an annoying laugh? *shrug*

… never forgets a birthday? I think I’m pretty good about that.

… do you live with? My parents, brother, and doggo.

…,do you have the most in common with? My mom and brother.

…is the sportiest person you know? My dad.

…was your last missed call? A spam call.

…did you last open your door for? Delivery person.

… has your heart? Me.

…do you share a special song with? No one.

…do you miss right now? I’ll always miss my loved ones who have passed away.

…last made you angry? Not sure about a who, but situations and circumstances lately have.

…did you last buy a gift for? My dad for Father’s Day.

…did you celebrate your last birthday with? My parents and brother.

…have you gone to a concert with? A former friend.

…can make you laugh? My family.

…has taught you how to do something? Teachers.

…has lost something of yours? Hmm.

…has broke your heart? A couple of people.

…has stood you up? Joseph.

:: What ::

...I

s your favourite colour?

...Pastels, rose gold, sea foam green, coral, yellow.

...Can you do that most your friends can’t? ---

...Is your birthday? July 28th, mark your calendars.

...Colour eyes do you have? Brown.

...Form of transport do you take to work/school? I don’t work/done with school.

...Music do you like to listen to in the car? My parents and brother each play their Spotify playlists in their cars, so I hear whoever’s playlist of the car I’m in.

...Languages can you speak? I’m only fluent in English, but I know a little Spanish. ...Was the last thing you drank? Water.

...Was the last thing you ate? 4 over-easy eggs, loaded hash browns (shredded cheese, country gravy, and onions), and toast with strawberry jam from Denny’s.

...Time did you wake up this morning? Around 8.

...Colour are your bedroom walls? White.

...Drink do you usually order when eating out? Coffee.

..Food can you cook well? Just ramen.

...Animals have you had for a pet? Doggos, fish, and a couple of hamsters.

...Are your initials? ---

...Kind of activities do you like to do on the weekends? I don’t do anything different.

...Movie do you know line by line? There’s a few.

...Band(s) have you seen in concert? I’ve seen several.

...Do you buy/get to treat yourself? Depends what I want.

...Colours your phone cover? It’s a clear one.

...Part of the world would you love to visit? I’d love to be able to travel all over.

...Subject were you good at in school? English.

...Careers do your parents have? My mom works at Walgreens and my dad works at a car repair shop.

...Brand of clothing do you buy most often? Most of my clothes are from Boxlunch, Hot Topic, and Kohl’s.

...Chocolate bar is your favourite? White chocolate.

...TV show have you watched every series of? There’s a ton.

...Radio station do you listen to the most? I haven’t listened to the radio for like 4-5 years now.

...Podcasts are you subscribed to? None.

...Is your favourite dessert? Milkshakes, ice cream, brownies, cheesecake, cookies, cupcakes, donuts, muffins.

...Can’t you do that most around you seem to? >> Function. <<<

...Are 5 qualities you value in a friend? Someone I can confide in, someone that’s easy to be around, good listener, loyal, understanding.

...Are 5 qualities you value in a partner? Patient, understanding, caring, good sense of humor, loyal.

...Size pizza do you usually order? It depends. If my family and I are all getting pizza, we usually get 2 mediums ad one of those are the toppings of my choosing and they’ll have some of that as well as the pizza of their choosing (I’m the picky one that’s why we get two, ha). If I’m just getting pizza then I’ll get a personal.

...Cuisine do you like to order or cook? I love Italian, Mexican, and Chinese food. I’m not a cook except for ramen.

...Colour(s) dominate your wardrobe? Black.

...Toothpaste brand do you use? Sensodyne.

...Sounds can you hear right now? ASMR video, my fans, and the TV.

...Is the weather like today? It’s currently 90F.

...Are your plans for tomorrow? Just another day.

:: Where ::

...

Do you keep your phone when not using it?

It’s usually always near me somewhere.

...Were you born? California.

...Do you go to unwind? My bed. And the beach when I’m able, which isn’t often. :( I wish I lived near one cause I’d be there a lot.

...Is your best friend right now? Work.

...Can you go nearby to have a good time? My city is lame.

...Is the nearest restaurant? Not even a 5 minute drive from my house.

...Is the nearest beach? About 2 1/2 hours away.

...Did you meet your closest friend? --

...Did you go for your last vacation? I went to Disneyland last year and it ended up being right before the pandemic and lockdown stuff happened. Like literally two weeks before.

...Is the nearest mall or superstore? About a 10 minute drive.

...Did you last get an injury? I don’t remember.

...Is the most extravagant place you’ve stayed at? I’ve stayed at nice hotels.

...Do most the local kids play? *shrug*

...Have you been with your family? Uhh, lots of places?

...Did you spend Christmas last year? At home.

...Did your parents grow up? My mom has lived here all her life and my dad moved around a bit coast to coast.

...Did you buy the shoes you’re wearing? I'm not wearing shoes, but no I didn’t buy the pair I last wore.

...Would you like to go right now if you could? Somewhere with cool weather and a beach.

...Do you miss the most from your childhood? Being a kid.

...Is the best restaurant you know? Wingstop.

...Will you never go again as it was so bad? I haven’t had that bad of a restaurant experience.

:: When ::

was your last vacation? ...February of last year.

…did you graduate? I graduated UC in 2015.

…did you decide what career you wanted? My freshman year of high school.

…did you have your first kiss? I was 16.

…did you learn how to swim? I haven’t.

…did you have your first relationship? 2005.

…did you meet your best friend? She’s my mo.

…do you feel the most at peace? At the beach is the closest I get to that.

…do you usually fall asleep? When the sun is almost rising or already has.

…do you usually wake up? Between like 9 and 12.

…did you last watch a movie? I saw A Quiet Place 2 a few weeks ago.

…did you last go to a party? A few weekends ago to my bro’s grad party.

…did you last cry? Yesterday. It’s a daily thing nowadays, at least once. Usually more.

…did you laugh really hard? I don’t remember.

…did you buy something pricey last? For Mother’s Day.

…did you have an argument last? Recently.

…did you last have a sick day? All the time?

…did you last recieve a hug? The other day.

…when is your best friend’s birthday? September.

…did you learn how to drive? I haven’t.

…did you last receive a surprise? I received a bad, unexpected one recently.

:: How ::

Many pets do you have?

One.

Many houses have you lived in? A few.

Often do you shower? About every 2-3 days.

Well can you cook? I only cook ramen.

Many close friends do you have? None.

Many Brothers or sisters do you have? I have two brothers.

Often do you go swimming? I don't.

Many times have you texted today? Zero.

Do you like your toast (colour, topping)? A light brown with butter or jelly.

Do you like your tea and/or coffee? I like a packet or two of sweetener with my tea and flavored cream or cream and sugar with my coffee.

Do you like to celebrate your birthdays? Just chill and lowkey.

Are you feeling today? Hot and tired and meh.

Serious are you about your career goals? I’m not even doing anything in regards to that as of now. I have no idea what I want to do and I can’t put the time, energy, focus, or effort to figure it out at this time. I’m dealing with and focusing on my health and can’t work right now anyway.

Many bedrooms in your house? 2 bedrooms.

Did you do in your school exams? I did well.

Close do you live to your parents? I live with my parents.

Close do you live to your siblings? I live with my younger brother and my older brother doesn’t live far away.

Sensitive to criticism are you? I’m sensitive, but it’s definitely gotten worse in recent years.

Motivated to make changes are you? That’s something I’ve been struggling with and it’s certainly doing me no favors. :/

Creative are you (1-10): I missed the creative gene.

Hard working are you (1-10): Not very much at all anymore. :/

Sporty are you (1-10): Not at all.

Musical are you (1-10): I don’t play any instruments. Do you prefer your eggs? Over-easy, scrambled, deviled, hard boiled.

Often do you go out to eat? I get takeout a lot. I just started going out to eat again recently, having been to Denny’s twice now in the past week. It’s a new tradition my mom and I are starting couple or so times a week when we go for a morning walk.

Would your best friend describe you? Meh.

Can someone cheer you up if you’re sad? It’s honestly better to just leave me alone.

Often do you meet up with your friends? ---

Important is religion to you? My faith is very important to me.

Old were you when you first stayed overnight from home? *shrug* I was a kid.

Old were you when you got your first pet? Like 3.

Tech savvy are you? Eh, I know some stuff.

Often do you cut your hair? It’s been over a year since the last time.

Often do you paint your nails? It’s been a few years since the last time.

Many countries have you visited? Just one apart from my own.

Boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Two.

:: Why ::

… did you choose your username?

Cause I love me some surveys. ‘Nuff said.

… did you take this survey? I wanted to.

… did you choose the career you did? I don’t have one.

…did you last leave the house? My mom and I took our walk this morning and stopped to have breakfast along the way.

…did you last give up on something? I gave up on myself in a lot of ways the past few years and I’ve paying for it.

…did you search the last thing you searched? I was looking up how many miles away something was for one of the questions.

…would you give up on someone completely? I did that easily with myself, but it would take a lot to do that with someone else.

:: If…::

You could live in any country which would you choose?

I’ll just stay here.

You could choose any animal as a pet which one? I like having doggos.

You could be famous for something what would you like? >> I don't want to be famous. <<<

You are sad, how do you combat it? >> I am sad almost all the time lately, and there's nothing I can do about it. It's not something to "combat", I'm not trying to be in a fucking battle with myself and I'm tired of that rhetoric. I just wish I was less sad. I can't be less sad. But I wish I could. <<<

You can drive when did you learn? --

You could have any job what would it be? I don’t knowwww.

You could go anywhere for a vacation where would you go? Somewhere far away with a nice beach.

You could eat anything right now what would it be? I just put in my Doordash order for Wingstop.

You wrote a book what genre/topic would it be? Murder mystery/psychological thriller.

You had a theme song what would it be? *shrug*

You could meet any band/singer in person which one? Hmm.

You could act in any movie which would it be? No thanks.

You get married what venue would you like? I don’t want to get married.

If you have kids do you have names picked out? I don’t want kids.

Could describe your dream home what would it be like? Spacious enough for 4 adults and a doggo, near a beach, hardwood floor, big backyard with patio deck, pizza oven, grill, deck, nice sitting and eating area, pool, and a balcony.

You could go back in time what would you change? I’d take better care of myself.

Could use 3 words to describe your childhood which ones? Good, fun, memorable.

Could get the answer to any question which question would you choose? I don’t know cause if it’s bad I don’t wanna know.

You could have an endless supply of something what would it be? Money.

Meet anyone who no longer lives who’d you choose? Chester Bennington.

:: Can ::

… you ride a bike?

No.

… you ski? No.

… you bake a cake? >> I'm sure I could wing a box cake. <<< Yeah, that’s all I do. I’m not in there whipping stuff up from scratch.

… you sing well? Nope.

… you do your own taxes? >> I don't do taxes, I don't earn a taxable income. <<<

… you remain calm in a crisis? I tend to freak out.

… you do first aid? No.

… remember your best friend’s family members’ names? They’re my family, too.

… you fire a gun? I’ve only done it once when I went to a shooting range with some friends a few years ago. I didn’t want to do more than that.

… your parents drive? Yes.

…your best friend dance well? She doesn’t like to dance.

…you make people laugh easily? I don’t think I’m funny. I’ll have my moments now and then and I own that shit when it happens haha but it’s at random.

…stand up for yourself? I’m not great a that. I’m too shy, too awkward, suck at expressing myself, and don’t like confrontation.

…you do a martial art? No.

:: Would ::

You like to learn a new language?

I’d like to be fluent in Spanish. I only know some.

Save the life of a stray animal? If I could help in some way.

Know what to do if there was a hurricane? >> Not entirely, because I've never lived in a hurricane-prone area. <<< Me either, thankfully.

Try a new cuisine? If it sounded good to me. I’m very picky and particular with food.

Risk your life for anyone? My loved ones.

You like to get back in touch with someone? Ideally, but it’s not ideal right now.

You drive in the middle of the night to get a stuck friend? I don’t drive so I wouldn’t be any help. I could call them an Uber, though.

You Know how to perform CPR? No.

You likely win in a game of chess? Nope, I don’t even know how to play.

You stop talking for a day for $100? Yeah.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #categories #long survey

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theatrelove3000 · 4 years

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My Nonna

I based this one off of an ASMR video by TheWhiteRabbitASMR (this is the link if you’re interested) and I couldn’t help but use her character for Noelle’s Grandmother. I always liked the idea of Loki meeting the good parts of Elle’s Family so this seemed right.

I swear, all this spam is relevant to my new stuff!

Background: Noelle and Loki were “Bound” by a witch in Alfheim after a battle they fought in. This means that the witch split each of their souls in half and one half switched places. Noelle has half of Loki’s soul and vice versa. They can feel each other's emotions and hear each other's thoughts. Noelle is also Half Asgardian, half Midgardian. Her father is Tyr and her mother is of Midgard.

Summary: Loki is introduced to Noelle’s Italian grandparents

Warnings: Fluff. I think I watched my mouth for this one so there shouldn’t be any swears? I don’t remember.

My Nonna

Noelle PoV:

"Okay, this one is hers. I'm going to warn you. She will demand you eat everything she can think of. She will feed you even if you're full and never accept no as an answer. She will also ask you a million questions that you won't always have an answer to. But she's great! You'll be fine." I ramble out as we walk up the steps to my Nonna's house. He chuckles and pulls me close to kiss my forehead. I take a deep breath and squeeze Loki's hand as we walk in.

It's about 12:30 so she will be in the kitchen. We find her at the kitchen table muttering at the newspaper.

"Hi, Nonna!" I say to get her attention.

"Oh, my darling!" She exclaims in her thick Italian accent. "Oh my goodness. Oh, come. Come to Nonna, come here." She kisses my cheeks and my forehead repeatedly. I giggle a little bit and pull away. "How are you, my bambina? What are you doing? Oh my love, my beauty. How are you doing, my little bambina?"

"I'm good, Nonna. How are you?"

"I miss you so much! Your Nonna miss you. Where have you been, ah? Where have you been?"

"I've been working, else I would come see you more."

"Ah, yes, yes, yes. I know, I know it's very very difficult now, this moment. With the many changes in the life, I know. But you gotta make time for Nonna!"

"Yes, ma'am. Nonna, this is Loki." I take Loki's hand and pull him up to the forefront with me so she can see him clearly. "My husband, Nonna."

"Ah! Your husband! You have a husband, my little bambina? You are married? Since when? Why did I not go?"

"It was a really sudden wedding. I didn't know it was happening until an hour before I said 'I do.'"

"Come here, let me see you, bambino, come to Nonna." She grabs Loki's arm and he lowers himself in front of her, she kisses his cheeks and he blushes slightly. He kisses her cheek as well, which surprises me a ton if I'm being honest.

"Sit, sit, sit. Both of you, sit. Have some lunch with me."

"We just ate, Nonna. We don't want to intrude-"

"What do you mean you just ate. No, no, no. Sit down. You have lunch with me, you keep Nonna company. You just ate." She scoffs. "You so thin, you so thin! Look at you! You are a nothingness. No, no. If you turn this a way, you just poof! You disappear. No. I don't take no for an answer. You eat with Nonna."

Loki is chuckling at the exchange as she pinches my cheeks and wags her finger at me. "What you giggling about over there, husband? Ah? You're too thin, too. You eat with me, with Nonna."

"As you wish, ma'am." He stops chuckling. I elbow him in the ribs.

"Why you so thin, why they no feed you at home? Ah? Why your mother not call me?" She asks.

I stop for a moment and take a deep breath, "She can't call you, Nonna." I say quietly. She has bad memory so she doesn't remember my mother getting sick. At first, I reminded her every time I saw her but she would just cry so I don't anymore. I just say she can't call.

Loki looks at me and takes my hand under the table, squeezing gently. 'Are you alright?' I glance at him and respond 'Yes.'

Meanwhile Nonna is still talking. "One day, I'm not be here and they will cry! They will cry. Oh, not you, my little Bambina, no no no. You're a good one. You always come and see Nonna, I love you!" She stands up and goes the the cupboard behind her. "You want some milk? I get you some milk. You want some cookies with your milk? The cookies with milk? You remember when you were a little kid and you always had the cookies in the milk? That was nice, ah? I get you some."

I glance at Loki, who is grinning at me and Nonna. He's clearly amused.

"You know I still have you're little bowl!" She turns to Loki, "I keep everything. My bambina use this as a baby, ah? You remember, Bambina?" I nod at her. She looks back at me "You want a little..." she taps on the glass in her hand, trying to remember the word. "Spoon! You want a little spoon?"

"No, thank you."

"Okay, I can pour some milk for you." She picks up the milk from the table. "I know you are... intolerant to the lactose. I got you milk with no lactose. But don't you tell me that you becoming one of those who are allergic to life, okay? I understand the milk thing but the cheese! Why you cannot eat, ah?" She looks slightly put out. We have this conversation often but she doesn't always remember.

"The cheese has lactose, Nonna."

"Ah, I have found mozzarella without the lactose. So next time Nonna make you lasagna, you will have the cheese without the lactose."

"I would love that, Nonna, thank you."

"Ah, Nonna think of you. Nonna love you!"

We eat a bit of everything she puts in front of us, Loki more than me. I keep feeding him my food so Nonna thinks that I am eating it by myself.

"Where is Nonno? Is he still asleep?"

"Ah, your Nonno. Ever since that pension, he do not wake up at a decent time. He wake up whenever he want to. He wake up nine o'clock in the morning. He no wake up at a decent time."

I laugh, "Nonna, you wake up way earlier than a normal person."

She scowls at me lightly, "4:30 is a decent time in the morning."

"Whatever you say, Nonna."

The entire visit lasts about 2 hours. She spends the whole time feeding us and eventually convinces us to have dinner with them as well. I tell her about my new family, the Avengers, and she demands that she makes dinner for all of them. Loki texts Tony with my phone to ask how many people were in the tower and I took Nonna to the store so she can buy what she needs. We go and get Nonno before heading back to the tower, where she makes all of us dinner.

Nonno falls asleep in the living room with Steve and Bucky, who also pass out on each other. Natasha takes tons of pictures while Wanda and Tony help Nonna in the kitchen. Tony surprises me by speaking in fluent Italian to both her and Nonno. When Peter and Morgan come in with Pepper, I introduce them to Nonna.

She gasps upon seeing little Morgan, "Ah! What a bellissimo piccola! A pretty little girl. Come, come, darling. I will be your Nonna!" She takes Morgan from me and holds her hand, walking her over to where her father is making the dessert. Tony lifts Morgan onto the counter and gives her a pastry he just finished. Pepper just smiles.

When dinner is ready, Nonna gathers us at the table (Loki extended it with his magic for this evening) and we devoured every bite of everything she made. Peter and Morgan eat way more desert than anything else, so their energy levels spiked rapidly towards the end. Eventually Tony sent them to the couch, where they bounced around for a bit before falling asleep with the sugar crash while watching a movie.

"Why you no tell me my Bambina getting married, ah? Why you no tell Nonna?" Nonna rants at Tony. His demeanor is calm but I could tell from his energy that he was nervous.

"I didn't know you were around, sweet lady. I would have invited you if I knew." He explains gently.

She scoffs and wags her finger at me, "You supposed to tell your Nonna you getting married!"

"I'm sorry, Nonna."

"It's okay, my little bambina. My love, my beauty. Ah, your Nonna love you. You're a good one." She pinches my cheeks and starts talking to Pep about the kids.

Loki laughs quietly and kisses my temple before whispering in my ear, "And you were worried about how she would react to me." Followed by another chuckle. I lean over and kiss his cheek.

"I wasn't worried about how she would react to you. I was worried about how well she would take a random shock about something this big." I retort. He grins and kisses me full on the mouth, earning fake puking sounds from Clint and Nat while Steve blushes and Thor applauds.

"No kissing the bambina in front of Nonna, husband." Nonna shouts across the table before turning to Tony, "He a ragazzaccio over there, ah?"

"Si nonna, è cattivo!"

"Tony!" I cry, laughing.

Tony flushes, "You know what I said?" He said, slightly shocked.

"Of course I do. Look at the woman you are talking to and tell me that she wouldn't teach me Italian as a child. Go ahead, I'll wait." I fold my arms across my chest and throw on my best smug smirk.

Tony glances at Nonna then back at me, "I guess you're right." I laugh and go back to talking to Loki.

Around about 9:30, we take Nonna and Nonno home. I make sure Nonno gets in bed and bid Nonna a good night, promising to come back next week.

It's a beautiful night, it being early June in New York, so Loki and I decide to walk back to the tower since its only a few blocks away. We walk along the street hand in hand, laughing and talking about everything that has happened in the past three months that he had been gone. As we walk through Central Park, Loki pulls me to a stop under a big tree and pulls me close to him. He leans his forehead down on mine.

"I really missed you, My Queen." He whispers.

"I missed you more." I tell him. He smiles.

"My apologies, Lady Friggason, but I am afraid that I must inform you that that is quite impossible. I missed you like the sun misses the moon, destined to chase you, forever and a day. I missed you because I love you. I love you like a studded leather jacket worn inside out, digging into my chest eager to draw blood." He brings his lips to mine softly.

"You are very dramatic." I mutter between his kisses.

"You love it." He answers.

I shrug and nod in agreement, pulling him back for another kiss. It doesn't last long. We pull away after a minute and walk back to the tower.

#loki x ofc #loki friggason #loki fanfic #loki odinson #tony stark #morgan stark #peter parker #avengers fic #Avengers #loki x avenger #avenger!loki #the avengers are a family #fight me

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thewritewolf · 4 years

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Eating Habits Chapter 6: Date Night

I think ‘date night’ might very well be my most used chapter title of them all, but chapter titles have never been my strong suit... Anyway, have an aged-up Adrienette date. Plus some other things.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 (Final)

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3.

Adrien had gotten home late after another long but enlightening shift at the bakery. Well… relatively late. The hours that a baker worked meant that his bosses were in bed long before most people, but that didn’t matter much when they took advantage of his youth and strength to do the heavy lifting for them. He hadn’t even considered checking his mailbox last night with the bone deep exhaustion he’d felt. The first rays of dawn were only just barely able to wake him.

He threw his legs over the side of his bed and took the time to watch the sunrise through his bedroom window. Another beautiful day in Paris. Even if it was a little chilly in the early October air, the cold had never bothered him as much as they had his lady. A ghost of a smile flitted across his face as he remembered her and slipped his feet into the silly kitty slippers she’d made for him ages ago.

His muscles ached as he stretched, but between his excursions to the gym, the years of superheroing, and the schedule from his youth that had run him ragged, the pain was more than bearable. A warm shower to help relax helped take the edge off the soreness. Now all he needed was some breakfast, and something to distract himself. With those goals in mind, he got dressed and headed into the kitchen, sparing a glance at Plagg. He was still laying on his back, bathed in a sunbeam as one of his legs twitched. Adrien smiled as gently closed the door behind him.

Despite all the classes and his time at the bakery, breakfast was still Adrien’s strong suit. He started to cook up a cheese omelette stuffed with fresh vegetables, paired with some leftover bread he’d taken home from the Dupain-Chengs yesterday. Barely a few minutes had passed before the silence became maddening. Another lingering pain from his childhood, but one that he could easily remedy. A playlist Nino had made for him filled the air and Adrien’s mind cleared.

Halfway through breakfast, he remembered he’d never checked the mail yesterday. Not wanting his food to get cold, he dashed down to the mailroom of the complex and quickly opened his slot. As expected, there was a bundle of letters that he snatched before closing it and running back into his apartment.

He slowly shuffled through them while he ate. Most were worthless spam or worse. One from a modeling agency he’d worked for a month or two ago. Probably either thanking him for the work or pre-emptively asking for him to come back on for the winter lines. Considering his finances were doing alright, he’d likely pass on that and carefully set the letter aside. Reaching the bottom of the pile, he froze.

A familiar type of envelope in the same familiar handwriting of his father.

Everything in him told him it was a bad idea to read it. He never came out of it any better than when he went in. His heart was pounding in his chest and he began sweating. His breathing was ragged as his eyes flew over the page.

They were all the same. Every single one of them. Different words, same meaning.

‘I did what I had to.’

‘This was for YOU.’

‘Our family needed this.’

‘Put yourself in my shoes.’

‘Would you have done any different?’

The words flew past in a blur as his eyes glazed over. Before he could properly read it, a sharp voice drew him out of the downward spiral.

“I’m hungry!” Plagg whined as he flew in front of Adrien’s vision. “I’m wasting away here, kid. I need delicious, gooey camembert NOW.”

A smile tugged at his lips but didn’t reach his eyes as Adrien jolted to his feet to find his kwami’s breakfast.

----

While Adrien was distracted, Plagg narrowed his eyes and faced the letter. He was sorely tempted to just cataclysm it right here and now, to make sure his chosen would never be hurt by it again. But control of their powers had never been the forte of any of the kwami, least of all the kwami of destruction. Deciding that it was only barely not worth ruining the apartment, Plagg batted the letter into the trash. If only he’d had the opportunity to do the same to Gabriel himself.

Adrien returned with a quarter wheel of cheese, which Plagg took to eating with gusto. Adrien frowned as he looked on the counter.

“Hey, Plagg?” The kwami slowly looked up from his breakfast. “Do you know where that letter I was reading went?”

“Somewhere it belonged, I’m sure,” Plagg replied irritatedly. Adrien was about to speak again, so Plagg interrupted him. “So, date night, right? That’ll be something to look forward to.”

Just as expected, a dopey grin crossed Adrien’s face. Plagg could play the boy like a lute. “Yeah, it’ll be great to go out again. We don’t get to go on dates as much as I’d like.”

“That’s ‘cuz you’d want to go on dates every night,” Plagg pointed out.

“True,” Adrien conceded. “But I don’t hear you complaining.” He rested his head on his hands, almost flush with the table, putting him at eye height to Plagg. “Maybe because you have a love bug too that you get to cuddle with, hm?”

Plagg made a gagging sound. “Sugar cube and I don’t cuddle. We are ancient beings from the dawn of time.”

“Really? Curled up into each other like that, you could’ve fooled me. And what, exactly, is it that kwamis call it?”

“...Shut up.”

“And you have pet names for each other! Just like me and Mari. Sounds a lot like you two are dating, you know.”

Plagg slowly turned to Adrien and narrowed his eyes. “Shut. Up.”

“Aw, I’m sorry Plagg. Truce?” Adrien scritched between his ears in just the right way.

Unable to fight his instincts, Plagg purred in spite of himself. Refusing to continue the conversation, he doubled down on eating his cheese. Adrien chuckled and returned to his breakfast.

Despite his denials, Plagg was looking forward to the date night, but for more than just seeing his Tikki. Plagg snuck glances at his charge, but Adrien seemed to be back to his usual peppy self again. He breathed a sigh of relief. Another crisis averted, barely.

------------

With how much she’d been pushing herself, it was bound to happen eventually. Late night studying. Early morning classes. Every hour crammed full of work. Between the darkness of the theater, the calm and pleasant movie, and the comfortable shoulder of her boyfriend, Marinette was destined to fail. None of that made it any less mortifying.

Marinette was gently shaken awake by Adrien as the credits rolled. It took a moment for his face to come into focus, but when it did the amusement was plain.

“Rough night, huh?”

She snorted. “More like rough semester.” She wrapped herself around his arm as they walked out, leaning on him as her eyelids grew heavy. Despite her best attempts, she yawned.

She felt him kiss the crown of her head. “My poor, sleepy bug. How about we bail on the restaurant part of our date and just head over to my place?”

Even in her exhausted state she managed a grin. “Why Adrien, you tom cat. And without even buying me dinner first.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “You’ll get your food. I just don’t want you face planting in your plate in public.”

“Oh, so it’s alright when I dive face first into my food, just so long as it's at your apartment?”

“Yes,” he said with a stoic expression. “Then when you drown in soup I will be slightly less embarrassed.”

“Oh, I see,” she deadpanned. “Well, as long as my impending doom isn’t an inconvenience to you.”

“I’m glad you understand.”

Their eyes met briefly, but that was enough to break their charade. Both of them broke out into giggles and the conversation passed into a comfortable silence as they made their way to Adrien’s apartment. At which point, she let out another big yawn.

He looked at her with a frown. “You going to make it, lovebug?”

“Nope,” she said, popping the ‘p’. “You’re going to have to carry me.” She stuck out her tongue at him and took a step towards the elevator.

Naturally, she didn’t make it much further than the one step since Adrien swept her up into his arms.

She laughed. “I was joking you ridiculous man.”

“Princesses get carried to their towers,” he replied loftily. “I don’t make the rules.”

The strong, independent woman in her wanted to struggle and get down, but the very tired design student who was presently in control simply cuddled closer as she laid her head on his chest. She felt warm and secure and relaxed for the first time in days. She closed her eyes to listen to his heartbeat more clearly.

She must have drifted off since when she opened her eyes, she was laying on his couch. There was a delicious smell in the air that was enough to make her stand up, clutching the blanket Adrien must have draped over her.

He smiled as she approached his kitchen. “Hey bed bug. Done with your cat nap?”

“For now, at least.” She rested her head against his back as he stirred. “What’re you cooking?”

“Potato soup. Straight from your father’s cookbook.”

She hummed happily. “I can’t wait.”

“Take a seat, I’ll pour you a bowl when its done.”

She moved to do so and happened to walk past the garbage can. Her eyes were drawn towards an uncrumpled letter facing up. It wasn’t hard to recognize the writing - years of idolizing the man behind the brand had trained her well. Even if it had been even more years since that particular pedestal had been broken, never to be rebuilt. She cautiously lifted it from the trash and scanned the page. Ladybug levels of singular purpose parted the tired fog of her mind as her anger was stoked.

“Adrien…” Something in her voice caused him to turn around with a frown. When he saw what she was holding, his eyes widened. “...Have you read this?”

“S-some of them.” There was a tenseness to his shoulders that hadn’t been there a moment before. A stiffness to the way he held himself. “Only skimmed that one before… before I lost it.”

Lost it? Sounds like Plagg’s doing. Marinette made a mental note to sneak the little guy even more treats. Then her eyes widened in realization as his words caught up to her brain.

“Wait. ‘Some’ of them? There are others?”

Adrien swallowed and visibly paled.

In a heartbeat, Marinette was beside him, the blanket forgotten as it pooled on the floor behind her. She reached a hand up to cup his cheek and he leaned into her touch gratefully. With her other hand, she grabbed his forearm and squeezed.

“Oh, kitty…”

After a few more deep breaths, he got himself under control. He took the letter and folded it up neatly before stashing it high on his refrigerator.

“So, uh…” He said in a voice that only barely warbled. “Soups ready.”

She knew him well enough to let it lie… for now. Adrien didn’t like being pressed or forced to talk about things, but she trusted him enough to talk in his own time. For now, all she could do was take his mind off of it.

And if that meant chatting over a dinner of soup and then cuddling on the couch for a few hours… she wasn’t about to complain.

-----

It was morning when Marinette woke up. Apparently she’d been picked up yet again since now she found herself in Adrien’s bed, with the man himself nuzzled up underneath her chin.

As much as she wanted to sleep in, a glance at the clock proved that wasn’t likely. She groaned and tried to wriggle out of Adrien’s grasp.

“Nooo…” Adrien moaned into her collarbone. “Stay…”

“You know I’ve got classes, sunshine…”

He raised his head and pleaded at her with those big, green eyes. His bottom lip quivered with overplayed sadness. It was almost enough to break her right there, but sheer stubbornness carried her through this time.

“Nice try, and very cute, but it’s still a no.”

He sighed. “It was worth a shot. What if I drive you into class?”

“I…” She glanced at the clock again. “I’d actually appreciate that, thanks.”

“And if I happened to not have anything else to do today and brought you lunch later… I don’t suppose you’d appreciate that too?”

She tried to pout at him for babying her, but the warm smile he was giving her was proving contagious. Instead, she sighed and rolled out of his arms before walking into his shower room.

His laughter could be heard even through the door. “I didn’t hear a ‘no’, princess!”

#Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Plagg #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Adrienette #aged up #ml fanfiction #my writing #Eating Habits #The Lucky One series

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outlanderlush · 5 years

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SAM HEUGHAN

By William Shatner Photography David Bailey

Published April 25, 2016

I understand that you have these contraptions for women called a Shewee, which means women can stand up to go to the bathroom, and that’s good. That makes men and women more equal. Sam Heughan

In every sense, Sam Heughan is the stuff of fantasy. No fan base in the world rides harder for the pinup of their choice than the Heughligans—who in turn have cast him as the star of their fantasies, in large part, as a result of his role in Starz’s steamy time-travel soap Outlander, which returned for its second season in April (the #droutlander is over!!).

On the show, the 36-year-old Heughan plays the dreamy but star-crossed lover Jamie, a Highlander in 18th-century Scotland. In real life, Heughan grew up in the shadows of a 17th-century castle in Southwest Scotland, and his career has been no less fabulous. While still attending classes at the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama in 2003, he was nominated for an Olivier Award. Ten years and several TV roles later, he landed Outlander and the part that launched a zillion ‘shippers.

And still, the fantasia does not end there for Heughan, as we discovered when we spoke to him last year. Turns out, there was a little (very little; hobbit-sized, in fact) something of the mystical traveler in him from the get-go.

“Are you really named after Samwise Gamgee?” we asked.

“Well, yes,” he said. “On my birth certificate, it’s just Sam, but my brother does have a name from The Lord of the Rings. It’s Cirdan—he was the shipwright at the end of Lord of the Rings that takes them across to wherever it is they all go when the elves leave the earth. My family were pretty big hippies.”

“Did you identify with Samwise when you read the books as a child?”

“It always was like, ‘I don’t want to be that one!’ because he’s so nice and honorable and good. And I wanted to be Bilbo; I wanted to be more dangerous, less dependable. It’s funny, though—as a child, you’re already thinking, ‘Who do I want to be and how do I see myself portrayed?’ ”

Which made us curious. Over e-mail recently, we wondered, “Are you much of an escapist or fantasist?”

“I guess I’m quite practical,” Heughan wrote. “Or at least like to think I am. I do tend to lose myself in whatever job I’m doing or hobby I’m into. (Currently, I love fitness activities—I have run many marathons, triathlons; I spent Christmas and New Year’s in Thailand training at a Muay Thai gym.)”

“So, are you a fan of sci-fi?”

“I love sci-fi. Growing up, I was a big fan of the Alienseries, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, etcetera. Plus, anything apocalyptic—I Am Legend, 1984, Battlestar Galactica … I find end-of-the-world stuff enthralling—to imagine how life will be in the future on Earth and in space!”

While on a press trip to the fantastical city of the future, Tokyo—or, perhaps, on a mission to discard a ring of pure power in some distant land—Heughan got on the phone with another sci-fi stud, William Shatner himself, to talk about real love, real haggis, and really bad gas.

WILLIAM SHATNER: Say, it’s the middle of the night there, isn’t it?

SAM HEUGHAN: It’s a half past seven in the morning. Happy birthday.

SHATNER: Thank you so much for the bottle. I’ll treasure it and drink it really slowly, thinking good thoughts about you in Australia. Tell me what you’re doing.

HEUGHAN: I’m currently in Tokyo and it’s pretty mental. We went out yesterday and had a look around, but I got pretty ill. We were supposed to go to this amazing sushi bar and … I don’t know what I ate on the flight, but it wasn’t good. So my first day in Tokyo was a bit of a letdown.

SHATNER: And those bathrooms are so small.

HEUGHAN: I think I’m falling into some sort of relationship with this toilet.

SHATNER: You get a porcelain fixation and you sort of hug the bowl.

HEUGHAN: You can hug the bowl, but also, this one washes you, it can give you a massage.

SHATNER: It’s actually better than a girlfriend.

HEUGHAN: I think we might be falling in love.

SHATNER: [laughs] Are you shooting in Japan?

HEUGHAN: No, we’re here for press and we’ve got some fan events. There were some fans that waited for me to get off the airplane last night at 4 a.m. And they brought me lots of gifts, including some Japanese whiskey, which I didn’t send you.

SHATNER: Suntory.

HEUGHAN: This one is Hibiki.

SHATNER: Their beers are really good. I was in Tokyo and Osaka, and that’s really a beautiful place if you can get there—on a bullet train it’s a couple of hours. Do you like Japanese food?

HEUGHAN: Yeah. I’m extremely excited to just eat sushi and obviously have some good beer. I’m a big fan of Kirin and Asahi and all that.

SHATNER: I had an event here yesterday, about 20 people. There was somebody lecturing, and in the middle of her talking, somebody farted. Everyone looked at everybody else because it was outside, and there was no directional sound. But I knew it was the lady speaking because I was close-up. [laughs] Have you ever been in one of those situations?

HEUGHAN: I just had one in Australia.

SHATNER: Tell me about it.

HEUGHAN: We were doing an interview on live television, and there were like five of us on the sofa, five interviewees chatting. And they brought out some haggis for the presenters to try. And haggis, as you know, is a delicious Scottish dish that should be eaten on occasion but—

SHATNER: Delicious only to the Scots, Sam.

HEUGHAN: Well, I think the …

SHATNER: Only to the Scots, Sam.

HEUGHAN: Well, it’s a delicious …

SHATNER: Only to the Scots.

HEUGHAN: That’s why we send it to you guys so you can try it as well.

SHATNER: No, no you send it to us so we realize how fierce the Scots really are.

HEUGHAN: How fierce our stomachs are.

SHATNER: Right. So everybody ate it, and then what happened?

HEUGHAN: Well, as it came out on a platter, I thought it looked uncooked. There was this terrible stench and it smelled like someone had, I don’t know, lost control of their bowels.

SHATNER: That’s really what haggis is, you know.

HEUGHAN: Well, exactly. But I think everyone else thought someone had farted, and we’re all sitting there talking on this couch, and I was convinced it was one of the other presenters. And they probably all thought, “Who is this very smelly Scotsman?” But they all proceeded to try the haggis, and I think they’re probably going to be very, very ill.

SHATNER: [laughs] The person was never found out? Well, once it’s in gas form, it’s difficult to determine its origin.

HEUGHAN: [laughs] That’s true. We need to develop a system. They probably had one on Star Trek, didn’t they? So that you could track somebody by their—

SHATNER: Well, no. But do you have dogs? We have dogs, and you can tell which dog is passing air by the smell.

HEUGHAN: Uh, great.

SHATNER: Have you ever been able to identify somebody by the smell of their methane gas?

HEUGHAN: I don’t think I have. What do yours smell like?

SHATNER: Well, roses and daffodils really.

HEUGHAN: Daffodils, wow.

SHATNER: Have you ever been in bed with someone who passed air? Do you mention it or ignore it? What’s your custom?

HEUGHAN: I think it’s probably more gentlemanly to ignore it. Is it not? Unless it’s someone you know very well. How many people do you get in bed with that pass gas?

SHATNER: It depends whether I’ve offered them haggis or not.

HEUGHAN: Or a half a bottle of whiskey.

SHATNER: Yes, Suntory particularly. [laughs] There was a commercial here about eliminating gas from your system, and at the end of the commercial, there are two people in bed and the lady lifts up a blanket and wiggles the blanket, airing it out a little bit. It’s a subtle note that somebody with a fun sense of humor used on a commercial. But it really is a matter of how well you know somebody, isn’t it?

HEUGHAN: I think it is, and maybe when you can do that, you know that you’ve gotten really close to someone.

SHATNER: Now, that’s interesting. So is that the moment of love, when they pass gas in your presence and nobody’s self-conscious about it?

HEUGHAN: I think you might be on to something here.

SHATNER: The criteria of love is if you can accuse them of doing it. It’s evil, but necessary. A true test. If they accept the guilt when you know it’s yours, you know they love you. That’s brings them down to the street level, and do you want to put your lady on a pedestal, or do you want her on the porcelain toilet?

HEUGHAN: Probably a Japanese toilet.

SHATNER: It’s so complex.

HEUGHAN: It’s just so good. I think I’d rather justhave a Japanese toilet. I understand that you have these contraptions for women called a Shewee, which means women can stand up to go to the bathroom, and that’s good. That makes men and women more equal. They have them in the military.

SHATNER: I never thought of that. But, if the troops are mixed, do the ladies go in the same place the guys go?

HEUGHAN: I guess so, yeah. I guess if you’re in the military, you’ve got to be quick and, therefore, you can go anywhere I suppose.

SHATNER: It can be lethal. I wonder if you can smell a soldier coming by the MREs they’re eating.

HEUGHAN: What are MREs?

SHATNER: Meals, Ready-to-Eat. I guess they’re precooked and all you have to do is heat them up.

HEUGHAN: Oh, Christ. I bet they were bad then.

SHATNER: They must have been bad, but not as bad as Spam or something like that.

HEUGHAN: Or haggis, yeah.

SHATNER: Well, the Scots used haggis while they were on marches, didn’t they? Wasn’t that the whole reason? It didn’t rot too easily?

HEUGHAN: I’m not sure if that’s quite true, but they would make porridge and get a bit of blood from an animal. You’d bleed an animal a little bit and put it in the porridge. You’d basically have bloody oatmeal, which is very nutritious I think.

SHATNER: Well, depending on whose blood you took.

HEUGHAN: Yeah, you don’t want to bleed out your horse too much, otherwise, you’re not going to go anywhere. Are you having a good birthday, though?

SHATNER: I think I’ve exhausted that subject completely. Where do you go from Japan?

HEUGHAN: I’m coming to see you. I’m expecting to see you in Los Angeles next week.

SHATNER: You come here and I’ll take you to the best sushi. I’ve been to Tokyo and other places in Japan, and I’ve never found sushi as good as the place right near us in Los Angeles.

HEUGHAN: That’s a deal.

WILLIAM SHATNER IS AN ACTOR, AUTHOR, AND FILMMAKER. HE HAS WON TWO EMMYS AND A GOLDEN GLOBE AWARD.

#outlander #interview magazine #sam heughan #william shatner #read this

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freakie-deakie · 5 years

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Hyunjin // If We Let Go (Part 2)

Guys oh my gosh I didn't think you were gonna like the first part so much and all the positive responses made me so happy I just 😭🙏❤️💕💓💞 tyty I love you all sm

Okay so this was originally a one shot, but I decided to make it into a mini series. I feel like this chapter is a little slow, but I've already started on the next one I promise it gets more exciting. I hope you enjoy it~💕

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Hyunjin x Reader (angst mini series // 3k words)

There was a soft knock at his door, drawing Jeongin's attention back to the outside world after several hours of appreciated solitary confinement. It felt nice for him to blow off some steam through listening to music and napping in his familiar area. His roommates didn't even bother him, which felt like a rare blessing that grew from roots of pity, but he'd take solace in quietness wherever he could find it.

"Do you..." Chan's voice faded away as he gathered his thoughts. "Do you wanna talk about it?" he tried. "I made breakfast for us."

Bang Chan didn't make breakfast for everyone in the shared apartment. Part of him wanted to, and to have everyone eat together when morning came, thinking maybe it would dispell some tension between his teammates. The other part of him knew that it wouldn't work. Even if he had cooked for eight, Felix having been absent and at your aid, many of the members didn't want to look at each other after the bomb had been so casually dropped into yesterday's conversation.

Jeongin's refreshing period of isolation was probably the only reason he didn't get instantly defensive, yet it still hadn't drained his habit of sarcastically shrugging off serious situations.

"You mean about how I totally embarrassed myself and let everyone know about my crush on my friend's ex?" He laughed bitterly. "Thanks hyung, but I'm good."

A sigh could be heard through the thin wood that separated them. "I'm gonna come in," Chan spoke softly.

Before he could even jiggle the door handle, the youngest was already out of bed and holding the door shut. "Hyung, I don't want to talk about it. I just want to forget it."

"Let's talk for just a minute," Chan bargained. "Please."

There was a moment if silence and contemplation on both sides of the door. It was so fragile that it was eventually broken by only a soft huff and a click, the younger swiftly opening the door, pulling his older brother inside, and closing it once more.

"Felix is gonna stay with Y/N until things settle down a little bit but-" Chan cut himself off when he saw Jeongin's eyes start to squint to hold back tears. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?" He was quickly at his side, pulling his head to his shoulder in a masculine attempt of comfort. The other could have cared less about his masculinity at that moment as he wrapped his arms around his hyung's torso as tightly as his unsteady muscles could let him hold on to someone.

"How could someone be so cruel?" he begged the answer. "And why did I have to say that? I kept it a secret for so long, why did I have to say it at the worst time, in front of everyone?"

Chan held the back of the younger's head, wrapping his spare arm around him to pat his back. "I don't know what they were thinking, honestly."

"I really like her," Jeongin confessed. "I want her to be happy. Why are they so unfair to her? And she'll never know how unfair they've been. It's not fair," he cried, pushing his face harder into the other's shoulder, focusing on trying to keep his breathing under control. Chan mentally noted that Jeongin was still unaware that Y/N had heard the majority of the conversation that took place as he had stormed off before they'd detected her presence.

"I know," Chan soothed, running his hand over the baby hairs at the base of Jeongin's neck. "I know."

•

"Wakey wakey, eggs and bacy," Felix taunted, moving the plate of fresh cooked breakfast foods under your nose, approximately half of your body being draped off the side of your cramped couch. He shook you lightly, trying once more. "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty~"

Your eyes fluttered open, still feeling heavy and bound by the seal of dried tears. "You're too good to me," you croaked, slowly sitting up and taking in your surroundings.

"Someone has to be," he commented sideways. There was a small pause before you both broke out into a series of awkward chuckles. "Too soon?"

"Too soon," you agreed.

"Aish, I'm sorry. Just trying to lighten the mood a bit." He put your plate in your lap and went to fetch his own.

When he sat down, he slowly placed a bite of egg in his mouth, eyeing every one of your movements closely as you ate, acting as if he expected you to break down at any moment. He wanted to talk, hoping venting would help you, but he had no idea how to start a conversation about-

"Maybe I'll just become a lesbian," you stated simply, popping a grape in your mouth.

He choked on his bite, holding a hand to the base of his throat and coughing. 'I guess that's one way to do it.'

"I mean, I find girls attractive. Like, maybe not as in I'm attracted to them, but I'm not blind. Who knows, maybe I'll end up gay? Women seem so much easier. Like, I know what a girl wants, 'cause I am one. I don't know how to play my cards with guys. I don't understand how much care I can give them before it hurts their stupid dick-pride, or how much care I can ask for before I get annoying and needy-"

"I'm gonna have to stop you right there." He glared at you from your side. He knew you had a tendency to hide your feelings with twisted humor, laced with self depreciation. "You're not annoying or needy. You just had a bad apple for a boyfriend."

You sighed, laughing with void emotion. "I don't know.. I don't wanna dwell on this."

"It hasn't even been a day. No one will judge you if you take some time to heal-"

"I've had plenty of time. Time is a virtue. In the time I've had, I decided I want to forget everything. Close a chapter, get a fresh start."

"You've literally been awake for like two minutes."

"And in those two minutes I decided to become a lesbian and not care that giving someone four months of my undivided love and attention was only for a bet because my significant other was actually repulsed by me. Look at me, gettin' on with my life."

"Look, Hyunj-" he stopped himself when he saw your eyes flicker with petty anger. "The guy was undeniably a brainless dick, but like you said, up his. So now, self-care. And self-care starts with talking out the things you need to talk out to prevent bottling. I know this because I watched a lot of Dr. Phill."

You poked his leg with your fork, earning a yelp. "I'm not bottling, I'm just being the bigger person and letting go."

You both ate in silence until your brain formulated another question. You were about to ask, but Felix confessed before he even knew you were on the same page.

"By the way, I had to pick your lock last night. I got the door open, low-key might have broken your handle though. Someone is bringing your purse later."

You eyed him with such false disgust that he gave you one of his own biscuits as an apology.

You laughed lightly, putting it back on his plate and standing, done with your own. You dropped it off by your sink and rewrapped yourself in your comforter.

Felix finished eating just in enough time to move his plate from his lap to the coffee table and allow you to take its place.

"I don't wanna cry on you," you chuckled, tears coming back to your eyes. "I don't wanna be weak; but if you don't leave, I'm going to."

Yet again, Felix tried another not-well-timed joke to sooth you. "Well you just laid on me, fatty. I don't really have an option now, do I?" More tears threatened to spill from your eyes at that. You buried your face in his chest, a small sniffle escaping you. "I'm sorry, that was mean. And it's not true, you're beautiful and I want you to cry on me."

"Do you think that's why he didn't like me? Because I'm-"

"Don't you even call yourself fat." He looked down at you, his hand that wasn't holding you up and rubbing your back threatening to flick your forehead. "Or clingy, or needy. Sure, you sometimes one-eighty your emotions, but that's part of your perfection. You're perfect; it's that dick that needs some serious readjustments."

You softly hit his chest, chuckling to yourself as your face continued to become a fully functioning water park. "Shh, this ain't about your opinions. Just let me rant." He removed your hand from his chest and held it, his thumb running over the back of it.

"I want you to rant in a healthy way then. No self deprecation, understand?" You pitifully nodded, wiping at your eyes until the skin of your cheeks was raw.

"I don't wanna do this. I'm not good with talking through actual emotions. Can we just go lay in bed and watch movies? I think I wanna call in sick today anyways."

He gave you a couple of minutes to calm down before lifting you and stumbling to your bedroom. He plopped you on the bed and moved to get your laptop. "The Lion King, Frozen, The Lone Ranger? What are you in the mood for."

"Fifty Shades," you said just to tip him off.

"My Little Pony it is."

•

The first thing Hyunjin did when he got up was stretch and check his messages out of habit. But there were none.

On any normal day, the group chat would have been being spammed with the names of Spanish foods beginning with letters A through Z, or an argument about which horse breed is the best. If not that, there was always your message waiting in his in-box. Today, there was nothing.

His room was empty, too. He figured his roommates had probably crashed with someone else.

He rolled out of his bed, slipping his feet into his slippers and straightening his pajama-bottoms. Scratching the back of his neck, he padded down the hallway and into the kitchen. There was nobody.

Everything was eerily quiet.

He found two plates of food on the stove top, but as no one in the dorms had ever made breakfast for all of them, he knew their owners would return for them soon. He poured himself cereal and sat at the counter.

Low and behold, he was right. As he scrolled through media pages on his phone, two bodies joined him in the kitchen. One, the baby of the group with tears running down his face, his red puffy eyes being more than enough to make Hyunjin freeze and rest his spoon in his bowl and phone on the counter. Neither, though both noticing his presence, decided to acknowledge him.

"Jeongin.." Hyunjin tried. The maknae didn't turn to him, taking his plate from Chan and heading towards the door, the leader right behind him. "Jeongin, what's wrong?"

"Screw off, hyung."

Being the responsible figure in loco parentis, Chan obviously wasn't in support of his members fighting. Tension only made everything more horrible, from tight living conditions to an already stressful work environment. At the same time, he felt Hyunjin deserved to hear those words. He still deeply cared about him, and didn't want him to think badly of himself, but he wasn't against someone telling him to reevaluate himself.

Hyunjin received the silent treatment from the majority of his members all week. Others involved in the scandal hid away in their rooms most of the time. Felix had come home, but refused to sleep in the same room as Jisung, opting to sleep in the couch instead. You hadn't reached out to any of them since you kicked Felix out of your apartment so you could cry in peace. Most of you found yourselves drowning in work to avoid the problem that resided between you all.

All lines of communication were too quiet. Not even the members texted each other. Social silence.

And so, for the third time, Felix finds himself picking the lock on your door. A sigh of relief fell off his lips when a soft click and low creek alerted him that he now had safe entry.

He slipped inside, passing the kitchenette and into the living area. He found you sprawled out on the sofa, catching Z's while anime played in the background.

Upon further investigation, he discovered your bed made, not a wrinkle in it's sheets, and two empty boxes of microwavable popcorn. The trashcan was overflowing with butter lined bags that smelled of (favorite seasoning), the smell so far past being intensely olfactible that he gagged.

There weren't any used dishes laying around, aside from the mug of a suspicious liquid on the coffee table in front of you and the half eaten bowl of popcorn ready to slip out of your grasp.

On your work desk sat a completed stack of papers that stood impossibly high for a stack of papers. 'She's overworking herself.'

He shook his head, closing the door and making his way back towards the entrance to your kitchen. He was going to break your unhealthy food cycle that consisted of popcorn and what he assumed to be some sort of caffeine. He started at an ungodly hour, seeing as he was going to be cooking for a decently large group of people.

--a few hours--

When you woke up, you didn't even clock the other people in your house. You pulled yourself off of the couch and slumped to the bathroom.

"Wow, she looks like death," Changbin commented to the boy at his side who sipped his coffee and nodded.

When you finished your business, you washed your hands and looked in the mirror. Your hair was distraught, clothes disheveled, and skin under the attack of a light break out.

Groaning, you turned on the shower to let it heat up and ungraceful stumbled out to turn on the coffee machine. It wasn't until you had passed them and noticed the already made coffee that you noticed the six boys who resided in your kitchen and were watching every one of your movements closely.

Changbin and Chan sat at your island bar, Jeongin leaning most of his weight on the prior. Woojin stood by the cabinets, and Seungmin leaned in the fake marble countertop. The artificial ginger with the thick accent stood over the stove, a spatula hovering above the scrambled eggs.

You all looked at each other.

Silence.

Awkward silence.

"Well, uhm," you started, trying to gather your thoughts before your mouth ran off and left you behind. At least, you tried to but all you could really process was the fact that you looked like an absolute mess and you had no idea why there were people in your apartment. "Since you already started the coffee, I guess I'm gonna hit the shower," you said quietly, holding up a peace sign and backing out of the open space.

When you returned, everyone ate in uncomfortable banter, most of which was praising Felix for his cooking skills. Finally, you got around to asking, "So why are you guys here?"

They looked at one another with confusion. "You sent us all messages last night telling us to visit you today," voiced the leader. Felix's mouth stretched into a wide, impossibly-missed grin.

"You little snake," you said, narrowing your eyes at the boy who sat across from you. "I gave you my phone password for emergencies! How did you even get my- Did you break into my house again?"

"This was an emergency," he whined. "We miss you! We want to make you happy. And you needed to eat something that wasn't junk food."

You huffed, sticking another bite in your mouth. "You're such a worrywart. I'm fine."

"Y/N," Changbin cut in, "we're never gonna stop worrying about you."

Breakfast continued, eventually falling into more inviting idle chat about anything and everything that was not involving the tree people who were missing from the crowd. Afterwards, four of the boys excused themselves for work.

"Jeongin, Felix, it's cool if you two want to stay or go home since you recorded your parts yesterday."

You chuckled at the hard working men standing by your door. "You guys really still have to work on your days off?"

Chan sent a wink in your direction. "We'll sleep when we're dead, babygirl. Don't worry about us."

"Speak for yourself, hyung. I need my naps," Seungmin butted in.

"We're off to the studio if you need anything," Woojin restated before walking his children out the door.

You played video games for a while with the two that were left. After a while, you ended up just watching them because you were still moderately tired from pulling late nights. Work had been drowning recently, but it made for a good escape, almost convincing you to stop swimming away from it. Almost convincing you to sink.

A couple of weeks went by like that. Working, working, working, spending time with Felix, working, working, spending time with Jeongin, working, working, being occasionally visited or checked in on by one of your friends that didn't stab you in the back, working, working, and more working.

You unintentionally used work as a way to distance yourself from everyone. You voluntarily let your job as a(n) (occupation) consume you. You didn't have time to worry about your boys, or boys in general. You didn't have time to remember that you loved someone who had bet against you or that one of his best friends had admitted to liking you in the fire of the moment.

It felt like heaven to have none of that be relevant anymore.

But it was more than relevant to Hyunjin, who was now missing a surprisingly large piece of his day.

You.

Even he couldn't believe how long it took him to come around to the idea that you were important to him.

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ginasneesby · 5 years

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August - Rarotonga

So I have been meaning to write this for months now, given I went there last August. But, life, the universe and Game of Thrones has meant that I just haven’t sat down to write about my paradise island get away. As my grandma had generously left me some money, most of which was to be saved for travelling when I had visitors, I thought I’d book a holiday somewhere beautiful and warm that I would never think to go from the UK. There are lots of Pacific islands that all look amazing, but which one to choose.

I was inspired by someone I knew who had gone there only a few months previously and so I booked some flights to Raratonga in the Cook Islands. I decided to not spend all my money at once and so reserved a double room (I didn’t wanna be too cheap) in a hostel by way of balancing out the activities I was bound to do.

I took off on Saturday evening, a short 4 hour flight later and it was Friday night again, only this time on a small, warm island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean! I was picked up from the airport by the woman who ran the hostel, who was very kind and advised us to grab beers and a phone card if we needed as nowhere outside of the airport would be open, but I was planning to be pretty cut off/use the hostel wifi when needed. 15 minute car ride and we arrived at the hostel, which was about a quarter of the way around the island (it is not a big island). Although it was midnight, it was warm, which boded well for a beach holiday, and there were dogs and chickens roaming all over. The hostel had a nice outdoor area with hammocks and a decent sized kitchen, so we wouldn’t be crawling round each other to cook. However, the room was pretty plain, there were loads of bugs and lizards on the walls and round the lights and a trail of ants in my room; but ya know, that’s what you get for about £10 a day.

The first day I decided to have a leisurely morning and then get the bus towards the town centre, I had thought about hiring a moped, as I have it on my license although have never driven one myself, but they were all booked up that day. The bus, needless to say, did not run on time, not even close. Basically they were supposed to go clockwise and anticlockwise every hour and looking at the timetable, that was in about 15 minutes. 30 minutes later it arrived, but it was cheap and took me where I wanted to go. I headed up into town and took a wander around, thinking what I fancied booking, there were Polynesian food and entertainment evenings, boat trips, water sports and spas. However, given how little money had been put into the infrastructure and local villages they were all quite expensive. I guess if you have a bunch of tourists staying at posh resorts, they’ll eat up these activities with ‘meals included’ and ‘transport to and from your hotel’, however I wasn’t on that sort of budget. I went to a local restaurant near the beach, and thought I can at least have a nice lunch and a beer on my first day, but when the bill for that came I was swiftly put off doing anything. I guess they have to import everything even more so than NZ!

There was also no free wifi, it was something that needed to be paid for so I didn’t bother, which is a shame, coz part of the reason you go on lovely island holidays is to take obligatory white sand pictures and spam everyone’s Instagram! I did go to a supermarket and buy some bulk items that would feed me breakfast, snacks and dinners and made my way towards the bus stop. Again the buses screwed me, and the stop wasn’t where I thought it would be and when I did find it, it was in front of a big supermarket that had lots of deals in the window, typical. I did however give up on the ‘not gonna spend any money’ and bought some beer.

I was hoping that most people in the hostel would be friendly and up for a bit of a drink, no one was really around in the afternoon but I thought ‘Fuck it I’m on holiday’ and had a few beers by myself. Others arrived in dribs and drabs a bit later, a couple from Germany, a guy from Australia and a couple of kiwis. Mostly friendly, but not very inclusive. A few of them had been there for a while and there was a particular couple who basically decided who they were going to include in their little group, and who they weren’t; I was not on their list. Unsure why, the girl just took agin me and so I was out, and so started a holiday where I spent most of my time on my own (not so bad) while most others at the hostel hung out together, ate together and planned things together (not so fun).

Making the best of it, everyday was spent having a lie in, then making my way to the beach and lying in the sun for most of the day, I was beautifully sunny and warm but not boiling or burny as it was the middle of winter, so I could lie out for ages without worrying. I did manage to hire a moped for a few days, which meant I could easily get around the island, I did one whole lap one day just to see how long it would take me. On my way round I went past a boat tour operator and decided to book it for later in the week, it wasn’t too expensive and it included entertainment, a meal on the beach and snorkelling if you’re that way inclined (I am not). It was also a glass bottomed boat and the water was super clear, so I didn’t feel the need to get in until right at the end and just for a dip to say I have swum there. The lads running it were great, they played instruments, made jokes and were generally quite loud (think my brother but Polynesian). They fed us fish, potatoes and kumara freshly from the fire and then gave us a coconut shucking workshop and a many-ways-to-wear-a-sarong fashion show. We then had some time to chill and explore as we were on a small spit just off the main island, but annoyingly the sun had gone behind some clouds and it was a little bit chilly by that point.

One of the days I joined a group of people doing a giant puzzle; it was pissing it down and didn’t appear to be letting up any time soon, so when I came downstairs and people were all doing a puzzle, I joined in. It was quite a fun day, although I suffered later (warm weather + humidity+ bush + rain = mosquito-palooza) I was absolutely eaten alive, like worse than ever before, my skin was burning and I looked like I have measles and chicken pox and I dunno the plague! Luckily I had a supply of salt water to ease my prickly legs every day (you always forget about these parts when you go on a lovely hot holiday)

Every other day I pretty much did the same thing, I would find a different part of the coast I hadn’t been to yet and sit on the beach reading for a few hours, I made friends with the dogs (although not too close as they all had fleas) and in the evening would have some beers and try to make chat with the other people staying. I managed to become fairly friendly with a couple of people and by that I mean we added each other on Instagram, but it seemed to be, once you were not picked by the couple (or rather the girl) you weren’t really included in stuff. In fairness, she was horrifyingly aggressive about her and her partner’s family and told a story about holding her pregnant sister against the wall by her throat, whether true or not, not really what I’m looking for in a friend!

Managed a couple of fun nights, going down to the beach to look at the stars was awesome, it was super dark and so you could see everything including the milky way. The last night, we all went down to the bars next to the airport, they were well known for being cheap and large drinks so although I had to fly home at like midnight, I did allow myself a couple of drinks to celebrate just being invited along! The bus driver did try to charge me extra for my little suitcase as I was ‘clearly’ going to the airport, I just sat down and refused to pay, I mean. You’re the only bus, there isn’t an airport bus, and this is carry on luggage, hardly takes up loads of space. My flight was late Saturday night, and I landed early Monday morning, completely losing that Sunday, time zones are weird.

The only other thing of note that happened was the day I was exploring with my moped, after booking my boat tour, I went to turn back onto the road and my handles either didn’t turn, or locked or something and I went shooting across the road into a parked car! I managed to turn enough to not actually connect bike and car (thank fuck) but I did hit the car with myself, and took off the wing mirror with by boob. Ouch. 2 hours and a $500 hold on my credit card (the mirror was intact so can’t have been that expensive but the woman couldn’t give me an exact quote) later, I was back on my way, a little bruised and a little bit red in the face.

In conclusion, I could totally go to somewhere similar again (although not here as their laws about imprisoning gay people is horrifying) but if I did go, I would book somewhere lush and go with money so I can spend my days in luxury and share it all on insta to make people jealous!

#pacific islands #cook islands #rarotonga #holiday #beach #beer #sun sea sand #doggo friends #moped #glass bottom boat

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entitledunemployedmillennial · 6 years

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Endless Job Searching

While I waited for my unemployment benefits to come in the mail, and for the past 6 months or so. I’ve started applying for jobs in whatever way I could. Monster, Craigslist, Dice, Ziprecruiter, Indeed, any major job search site, every major company you named it I did it. All unemployment insurance in all states require people going to receive benefits to apply for three jobs a week. And more increasingly, they require you to sign up for the unemployment office website, register their information, and register your three applications on their website so they can verify that you’re actually seeking work.

Most people apply to at least ten jobs a day. But in reality in order to actually get any type of job in a metropolitan area you need to apply for 125 jobs a week. Here is a list of all the jobs titles I’ve applied to:

Linux Systems Administrator

Linux Administrator

Site Reliability Engineer

Linux Analyst

Solaris Administrator

System Administrator

Technical Writing

Software Engineer

Unix Engineer

Unix Systems Adminstrator

IT Support Analyst

Help Desk

IT Manager and IT Lead

They’re with Large companies, small companies, recruiting firms, temp agencies. And or the most part despite being well qualified for these roles, I rarely get a call back.

Many of the applications range from simple ones that just want your name, address, phone number, email, and your resume to ones that require you to make an account to simply apply for a job with your resume, or in some cases you are required refill the entire application for the Applicant Tracking System so that it will be parsed with keywords or buzzwords set by the employer’s Human Resources Department. If it does not fill enough buzzwords, it won’t be selected.

And even if it does fill in enough buzzwords, it would not not be selected anyway. This is because ATS systems have beyond buzzwords to secret algorithms that determine if your resume would be actually seen by a human. These same systems are in some cases, used by state courts in the United States to determine sentencing in criminal cases. Due to the use of algorithms, you can be rejected for any reason: Length of unemployment, length of gaps between jobs, which type of experience you have, place of living, email. In some cases, certain address you put there will put your name and application on a blacklist, meaning that you may not be hiired ever from a company that uses such a blacklists. This affects people living in homeless shelters who are actively seeking work, not knowly that they have been placed on a blacklist for doing what they’re supposed to do to stay in a homeless shelter.

In some cases, the applicant tracking system is glitched and it’s apparent that HR did not even test their systems.

In many cases, most companies have a 5 year experience requirement for their positions. This is done to legally discriminate recent graduates, and those who don’t have recent experience in the employment field. In some cases, they only want paid, professional, and recent experience. Shutting out people who took the advice of volunteer to get paid experience. Even people who volunteer in a different field who get employers to look at their resume are rejected because the volunteer experience is not related to the field they wanted to work in.

Due to all of this, the standard advice for job seekers that have been repeated to them over and and over simply do not apply anymore.

Due to the advancements of ATS systems, most people don’t bother reading resumes anymore. In many cases, just type in buzzwords and just email job opportunities to as multiple people as possible. Then they do the usual phone screening, and then phone interview, then in-person interview, then finally a job offer. That’s the usual practice.

In reality, companies have been known for taking a long time in hiring people. Even in times of low unemployment or a labor shortages. In some cases, the job opening can be fake in order to college resumes and get a feel of the job market. In some cases, the job opening is placed there to fulfill Equal Opportunity Employer regulations because they already have someone who the employer want via a referral or a internal candidate. In some cases, companies may choose to refile the job opening over and over again because the people they apply for the job, may not want be the ones the employer wants. So it’s more easier not to hire anyone than to risk a liability or a bad hire.

Recruiters do the same practices of most employers these days, and they do it with no consequence because instead of actually advocating to the employer on your behalf, or actively seeking and apply for jobs for you, they apply for one position and three positions and call it a day.

In practice, what recruiters do is sales. Not actual recruiting. In actural recruting role, the person finds a person, reads the resume, after sometime they call the person in. After the screenig and phone interview, they will send you to the person the actual company for a interview.

Often times they will tell you that they will call you when there's a update or will call you on like Wednesday. Then wednesday comes along and then you realized that they have not called back because they forgot. So you have to call them yourself. Then when you follow up with them, they seem to routinely dodge your phone calls and emails. When you do catch up with them, they will pull an excuse and pretend that they didn’t hear that you said that you missed their voice messages.

Indian recruiters, whose whole business scheme is to spam resumes in areas where no one want to go with a 3 or 1 month contract. They’re hoping that people who are unemployed are desperate to post their resume so they can use them to prove to the US company that want to hire a person who is part of the overseas company attached to recruiting “business” that they tried to find a US candidate. Or in some cases, steal the information for their own ends: Such the job experience and place them on their hire they actually want that is from overseas, or steal the person’s name, address, and phone number as a form of identity fraud.

These practices have been active since the 2008 recession and have not changed because company simply realize that it’s easier cheapen the cost of labor by hiring less or none at all. Some of them I won’t include are abolishing on-the-job training programs for new hires, or outsourcing them to the workers on their own dime and time. But what most companies did was outsource hiring and recruiting to HR executives, ATS firms, and the recruiting industry as a way to cut costs. In some cases, companies post their listings on several job postings, to several recruiting firms. So the amount of jobs that are posted may not be real at all.

But the most insidious and unprofessional thing about the job market since is they way respond to job seekers. These days, they’re actually not genuine, some cases it’s totally fake as you can in some cases listen between words of interviewers and people calling you or calling you back. Despite systems that allow you automate sending rejection letters to each state of the process, most employers choose not to even though it can take less than five minutes to set them up.

Often times, you will never hear back. And this is done via ignoring your phone calls, emails,and voice messages. In some cases, recruiters place your number on a block list, straight to voicemail. It’s unprofessional but a routine practices nowadays in the age of the internet, and cell phones. But if a job seeker calls out a employer for doing so, they will make the job seeker the bad guy for not playing their game.

If you do get a hold of the HR person calling you, they will tell you a generic statement.

We have too many applicants

You’re resume is impressive, but we decided to go with other candidates

You’re not a good fit

We’re not decided to go with other candidates

We closed the position.

The same thing with email statements, too. It’s all generic because they don’t want to risk a lawsuit. You can argue that the hiring practices today, is to find excuses not to hire even a candidate that is not perfect but can work with: Zero-Liability Hiring.

Despite the Trump’s Administration boasting of a 4.1%, and a now absurd 3.8% unemployment rate, you would think that companies might suddenly change their tune and maybe be more flexible. Sadly, they haven’t, as it’s too profitable to change practices.As a matter of fact, for the tax breaks Trump promised and signed to Congress, most companies have pocketed the tax reductions they got instead of reinvesting it into hiring more people.

Now as for my story, almost all companies I’ve applied to have not acted like they’re desperate to hire people. In some cases, they stalled or made excuses why they can’t move forward.

The worst part is that I got laid off during the worst part of the year: The Holiday season. It's the time where employers despite posting job openings, are less inclined to actually pull their weight when it comes to the job application process, and will flake or stall out the first change to avoid giving applicants a callback closer the actual holidays come.

(The only exception is if you know someone that is willing and able to help, and will actually keep trying to help instead of seeking a one off thing and then going away if it does not work out).

In many cases, I’ve tried applying for jobs and casted a wide net to even places in the Northeast such as New York, Boston, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware. Same result, never hear anything back or they refused to go forward because I don’t live in the area where the employer is. I’ve even applied for jobs that are outside my field. Anything and I get no reply back response.

I’ve created multiple resumes over the past six months: There was one that had my job experience for the past 7 years. I had a federal resume to apply for federal jobs. I had a full one that is similar to the federal resumes, but without the federal government specific sections. I even had a dumbed down resume with just the last job I had. It didn’t matter, which resume as none of them got me the job.

And I’ll tell you why. Despite the fact that the unemployment rate is is low, there are too many people applying for too few jobs that exist in the market. 95% of the job growth since the 2008 economic recession is for part-time/contract work in low wage service industries, with the exception of fields that are in bubbles such as the STEM field, and the Oil/Shale industry during the oil boom before OPEC caused a oil glut in 2014.

Instead of companies expanding full-time job openings the jobs since 2008, they kept it low on purpose because it’s more profitable to hire less or none at all. This is what we call a jobs shrinkage. This is why you have one person doing the job of 2 or 3 people without a wage increase. And when the person finally quits, they will spread out the work to new hires that will be paid much less.

But it does not matter what I experience, because to American society I’m a worthless entitled unemployed millennial

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thatonegirljessy99 · 6 years

Text

Longing To Feel Love (6)

As BTS become more popular, your relationship with Yoongi is taking a hit to the point where you begin to feel alone even when he is in the room. What will it take for him to say enough is enough and open up to you.

Pairing: Y/N x Yoongi

Extras in this: BTS

Word count: 2,448

Warnings: None

A/N: Happy readings!

Dinner was outstanding. The food was great. Everyone pitched in to buy you a smart watch with a picture of all of you together last year at your birthday party. They knew how much you hated getting expensive gifts which was the reason behind everyone getting you the one watch. It made you happy to see that they had planned that present out for you since before.

But now… now you were back home in your living room hearing the rain hitting the window as thunder rumble in the background. All the lights were off except for the screen from you watch. You kept looking at the picture of all of you smiling and couldn’t help but feel you stomach tighten at how happy you looked with Yoongi’s arms around your waist. It had been five days since you had spoken to him and it was the first day since Lu Han had left that you had been able to just be by yourself and realize what all had happened. Lu Han had made sure to take you out every day on an adventure and slept over every night to make sure you were never alone. He didn’t give you enough time to think about how much your heart ached.

The first thing Lu Han did when you got back to Korea was get you a new phone with a new phone; transferring all the picture, contacts, and apps that he thought were fine to have. He even made you use a new social media account just so that you didn’t have to see Yoongi’s face. Of course, all the guys followed you on your new account and were quick to like all the pictures you had posted of the birthday dinner. And even though they were only going to be gone for a few days the guys spammed you with love. Now it was only twenty-four house before the boys came back to Korea and twenty-four hours before avoiding Yoongi would become harder.

Something that Lu Han helped you to do before he left was pack all of Yoongi’s things to take them over to the dorms where everyone else was still living at. Mostly it was his clothing and his music things so it wasn’t too much of a hassle but just by looking over at you, Lu Han could tell how much this was hurting you inside. But you wanted to make him hurt. It was petty, no one was saying it wasn’t, but you wanted to make him hurt as much as you had hurt in the past months. If it meant moving on from him so be it!

But could you?

Now that you were on the couch with your head resting against the armrest in the dark, all you could to was wonder what was the point of taking all of his things over to the dorms if you had kept one of his flannels. It still smelled like him which only made tears roll down your cheeks as you pressed the sleeve against your nose trying to use his scent to calm down.

From: RapMon

Time: 7:59 PM

Wow… I can’t believe you got all his things to the dorms. Don’t worry, once we get home I’ll make sure that he doesn’t come near your house 😊 I’ll call you after this show!!!

To: RapMon

Time: 8:02 PM

Fighting! ^^

From: RapMon

Time: 8:04 PM

[Image received]

Seeing a picture of the Namjoon with Hoseok smiling at you brought a small smile to your face but it was not enough to stop you from noticing the man in the background who was looking down at his phone as he got his hair done. You touched the screen of your phone with a sad smile.

“Why can’t I just hate you and move on?...” your voice was coming out in a small whisper with hiccups popping in between your words.

Why was hating this man so hard for you to do?

“Y/A are you home?” a voice called from your front door,” Y/A-ah! It’s Shin. I just wanted to see in your okay… you haven’t been to class this weak and I am starting to get worried…”

You looked up from your phone, a bit surprised that Shin even knew where you lived. In a way it was creepy but it was a relief to know someone cares. You made your way over to the door and opened it so you were standing looking up at the tall man. Your nose was red and your eyes were puffy from crying making his heart clench a bit. Without thinking he placed a hand on your cheek and wiped away a tear that was going down your face.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this but I got worried about you and asked one of my friends that works at the schools office to give me your address… I hope you don’t think that I’m over stepping,” he mumbled feeling a bit embarrassed about showing up uninvited to your house. If your eyes hadn’t been so messed up from crying you might have noticed how his cheeks had turned a light shade of pink as he spoke,” I think you need some cheering up. Do you want to maybe go get some food?”

Chewing on your bottom lip you looked back at your empty house before looking back at him and nodding. You reached over to where your keys hung next to the door and stepped out of your house. The rain was still pouring around, not seeing any car around, you looked over at Shin who smiled down at you a sweet smile as he open his large clear umbrella. He held it between the both of you before starting to walk back to the sidewalk with you at his side.

“What do you feel like getting? Korean, Chinese, Italian…” he asked raising an eyebrow at you as curiously.

‘Would you be completely be against going to that Waffle House that just opened up on Goodman St?” you asked hearing your stomach begin to growl from the lack of food you had eaten that day.

“We can eat wherever you want,” Shin smiled down at you with a friendly grin that made you feel something in your stomach.

But it wasn’t anything bad. In fact, it was a nice warm feeling that ran through your body from head to toes. It was a feeling that ran though you through the entire night, even as you ate net to each other in a booth at the busy waffle house.

You spent the entire time actually getting to know the guy you had shared classes with for the past three terms. He was actually a really nice guy, the kind of guy you would have hung out with in high school. He told you how he had gotten into the university through a baseball scholarship and was a pitcher or liked to play left outfielder. He was studying to become a vet technician like his older sister and he wanted to work at his uncle’s animal hospital. It was actually quite nice to see how he was outside of just chasing after you. Most of the time he spent trying to crack some terrible jokes or puns that made you laugh at how terrible they were.

“You know if being a vet tech doesn’t work out you should go into stand-up comedy,” you giggled taking a sip of your hot chocolate he had ordered for you.

Chuckling as he chewed on his waffle he nodded before being able to answer.

“You know and I know my jokes are terrible. Please don’t feed my ego like that,” he smirked once he was finally able to speak, running his fingers through his hair,” by the way… do you mind if I ask you what happened? You always have a gorgeous smile on your face but when you opened the door today… did your boyfriend and you have a fight or something?”

His voice was gentle when he spoke to you, his eyes showing how nervous he was to even bring any of this up. You were both having such a great time getting to know each other, it worried him that bringing this up would ruin the mood and have make you pull away again. Lucky for him, you didn’t cringe too much at the question.

“I think my boyfriend and I are over for good. He said somethings and I said somethings that led to me dropping all his things off at his friends dorm… I know this all sounds silly but I have just known him for so long and… and… I just… I’m having a hard time realizing everything is probably over… He hurt me a lot and it’s going to take something big on his part to show me he gets that what h was doing took a tole me,” your voice wavered as you moved you fork around with a small piece of chicken on the end of it.

Seeing how this was affecting you just from talking about it, Shin wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly as you leaned your head onto his shoulder trying to stop yourself from crying again. He had enjoyed his time with you right now, but he knew that your heart was not available for anyone but your ex. Not that it stopped him from wanting to be there for you, even if it meant just being the shoulder you cried on for now. He just wanted you to be happy.

“Hey, its okay. You don’t need to talk about it. Look, we have class tomorrow and you already missed two days. I don’t know if you want to take to walk back to your house and get your things for class and then go back to my place so that I can help you play catch up and then we can head to class together tomorrow,” he offered you with a heartwarming smile.

“You would be willing to help me catch up?” you asked knowing you had missed a lot of information because of the kind of pace your professor had in that class was crazy.

“Yeah, of course! We can even get snacks before we get to my place, so we can be set once we get started!” he’s smile returned along with yours.

And that was just what you did. You went back to your house, grabbing your school bag along with a bag with some clothing in it so you could sleep over at his apartment that was a block away from the school. You went back to his place together after going into a gas station and buying probably too many drinks and chips for one night of studying. Once you got to his place you both got comfortable on the floor as Shin began to explain the entire last weeks lessons to you, showing you the graphics the professor had used on his T.V., both of you working through exercises that were left as homework All this happened without you even noticing the fans that had taken pictures of Shin with you the entire evening.

Neither of you had noticed the girls taking picture of you at the Waffle house of on your walk to your house. Or when you walked into his house. Then it was place all over Twitter and tumbler making Yoongi just sigh as he sat on the edge of his hotel room bed. His head was hung low as he held his phone in both hand tightly.

“Suga! We are leaving now!” Jin called out as he knocked on the door before stepping inside. Seeing Yoongi just sitting there he took a seat next to him grabbing the phone from his hand to see what was on the screen.

Twitters Top Trending

#LuHanIAmYourMan

#r5AsianTour

#(Y/N)WithAnotherMan

#(Y/N)IsCheatingOnSuga

“I really messed up hyung…” Yoongi whispered not being able to bring himself to look up from the floor, feeling ashamed for what he had said to you in his drunken stupor. He hadn’t meant to push you away so hard and he had never though of you leaving him. You had been there for so long that you were just something that he was use to being there for him.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to apologize, he did. He called you numerous times once eh had sobered up that night and sent you countless messages on your phone, on Instagram, on Snapchat, any social media he could think of. But almost as if over night you stopped answering your phone and weren’t posting on social media like you always did. Now all that was left for him was looking at your old pictures on his phone with a crushing feeling pressing against his chest every time he looked at the pictures.

“We all make mistakes Yoongi, you just need to learn from that,” Jin sighed patting Yoongi’s back sympathetically,” You can’t sit around wishing you had done things differently, now you have to see what you did wrong and see what you can learn from that.”

Yoongi scoffed looking up at his friend shaking his head,” So what is the lesson? That I am an asshole that only knows how to push people away?”

“No you dick, the lesson is you never tell her how much she means to you thinking your keeping her safe. We all know how tough she can be, I think she is mature enough to decide if your good for her or not, but I think that you forgot that in your attempt to keep her safe,”Jin explained looking down at the lock screen on Yoongi’s phone.

It was a picture of you curled into Yoongi’s chest as you slept in your bed. Your hand was holding onto his shirt as you smiled in your unconscious state, your hair framing your resting face. Moving the phone towards Yoongi with a small smile.

“Your lucky. Not many girls would go through hell and back for her man,” he chuckled as Yoongi smiled at the sight of the picture then looked up at Jin,” Now man up and do the same for her.”

With that, Jin patted his back as he told him to head down to their van so they could get going. Yoongi hummed back his answer as he looked down at his phone. He needed to show you he was sorry, that he didn’t mean what he said. He didn’t know how, but maybe it was time for him to open up to people and ask for help.

#thatonegirljessy #yoongi #yoongi x reader #reader x yoongi #min yoongi #bts yoongi #bts #BTS suga #bts imagin #suga #suga x reader #y/n x suga #longing to feel love

26 notes · View notes

park-loins · 6 years

Note

I'm gonna go reread all your fanfics starting with Jammed. I'll report back later ✌ - the anon with too much time on their hands

I CAN’T BELIEVE U REALLY DID THAT wow drink some water stay hydrated buddy~

Asks 2-23 from ur adventure below the cut, and i think tumblr ate some but that does not shock me.

2) Goddamn it Loins, I didn't even get the E.L James reference until I reread the first quarter of Jammed, goddamn it I didn't even know who E.L James was until now and I'm completely shook this is why I reread things ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (2/?)

o yeah Kim Taehyung’s novel absolutely KILLED the ‘bored with my marriage wine moms’ demographic

3) 😏😏😏✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (3/?)

4) "author, sex god, part-time bee keeper" is my new Tinder description✌-The Anon with too much time on their hands

SHIT THAT’S SO GOOD THOUGH, i’d swipe right, hard right.

5) Yoooo, I can't believe that Jammed was your first BTS fanfiction, Loins. It was so good, and it was better the second time around! Okay, on to Reprise. I can't wait to weep at fuck'o'clock in the AM like the first time ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (5/?)

Ahhh thank u man! U know what I get really insecure about Jammed sometimes and I want to go back and change it, but it is what it is. And it got me publishing again! Which was the important thing. It felt so good to publish.

6) Yoooo the notes on the first chapter of Reprise thooo. Damn, first time noticing that ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (6/?)

Oh me being a creepy child? Yeah I walked around the house calling “mommy, MOMMY” and mom was like ‘what’ and i was like ‘no, my REAL mommy,’ the proceeded to describe the death of my former family! i, for one, am surprised and grateful she did not ditch me on a deserted mountaintop.

7) And people say smut can't be soft...but also...😏😏😏 ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (8/?)

aww u know what... i’m gonna have to write some soft stuff in the future... i haven’t gone super soft n sweet since then and i think i should.

8) Yep, I'm getting emotions now. Thanks Loins, I needed those back. ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (10/?)

9) Okay but, my shuffle starting playing 'How to Save A Life' by The Fray the MINUTE I got to reading the last Scene in Reprise™, and I'm feeling quite attacked, tbh ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (11/?)

oommgmgmgmgmgmgmmggmg

10) Is it too soon to bring up the "Oh look, I've been impaled" meme? ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (12/?)

YES IT CERTAINLY actually no u know what go for it, impaling is such a specific means of death u gotta take the shot when u have it.

11) Okay, that's Reprise done. I've successfully got through it without crying this time, cause my family's asleep. Time to get into Inc. Don't worry since Inc. is really long, I won't bother you as much. I think you kinda hate me right now, spamming your already full inbox ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (13/?)

I WAS REALLY ENJOYING GETTING THESE THO as i was like getting ready for work then throughout the day, it was so nice ilu

12) I will, and forever always believe, that Inc. is, and forever will be, one of THE most quotable fanfictions of our generation. Thank you and good day ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (14/?)

OKAY that means a lot, my family is SO big on quoting movies like that’s our sense of humor. In fact my sister has quoted inc. to me and then been like... hey what’s that from - cuz sometime we have so may references that we literally cant remember the origin- and i was like..... inc.

13) Me: *Reads the story of Murderers birth* Me "Wow, you could make a religion out of this" ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (15/?)

vmin at least made a HOLIDAY of it, that you can believe.

14) Yoongi: "The only plant that's ever had the misfortune of being mine died long before it ever had a chance to tell it's tale of woe" Me: Wow, that sounds like somebody else I know...*looks into the camera like on the Office* ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (16/?)

....ok SURE fine whatever inc. yoongi is 87% me

15) Maybe Hazelnut will be our always? ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (17/?)

akdjlkjglkjhl

16) "I was very drunk, the photos where on Jimin's phone-..." Wait, wHaT!? See y'all, this👏is👏why👏re👏reading👏is👏 important 👏, I didn't even notice that the first time I read Inc., fucking hell. ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (18/?)

o yeah o yeah i was planting those vmin seeds for YEARs

17) "Jin steps gingerly over Namjoon, who is face down on the floor, moaning miserably into an abandoned microphone" This scene is the main reason I wish that could draw good fanart ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (19/?)

i almost think that bad fanart of this scene would be better

18) You know how there's a shirt floating around that has the entire script to the Bee Movie on the back? I want that, but instead of the Bee Movie, I just want the entire Inc. fanfiction. ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (20/?)

as long as “assplay” the 17 times i use it is in a slightly bigger font than EVERything else

19) Wow. A lot of shit went down in 2012. And we getting to the angsty, metaphorical shit, cause what else are you gonna get from a Minverse™ fanfiction? ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (22/?)

i think i used 2012 as a reference year for crazy shit in paint too and i’m thinking about my 2012 and i’m like o yep. that’s why

20) Ah yes, the time when Loins decided to write a Christmas chapter in the dead of summertime. I ain't judging, anything for the story's sake ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands

CHRISTMAS is not a time of YEAR but a feeling in your HEArT, and also a great plot device

21) The first appearance Leash!Tae in Loins' ao3 fanfics. Honestly, what an amazing experience to read this again. I'm honored. ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (23/?)

leash!tae was a lifechanging event in my real life and i’m just i’m so glad to insert it into my writing at any and every chance.

22) How dare you write some emotional-ass smut. Also I'm gonna stop sending these in after 30 so that I don't get your inbox so full 😗😙 I'm sure it's probably more than that cause I'm bad at tracking numbers, and I hope I got Anon on all of em.✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (26/30)

‘nasty but emotional.’ MY new tinder bio

23) Can I just tell you something Loins? I'm a bit tipsy now, so don't judge, but you are so genuinely talented, it's sickening. Like, you talk about how your not that good at writing, but you could probably out write half of the people that's been on the NY Times Best Seller List. And you have such a good personality to top it off. I gotta stop sending asks now, sorry to end so suddenly, just know that I really appreciate what you're doing. 💓💓✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands

aw my dude... ur gonna make me emo but the good kind the just too many good and grateful emotions kind of emo.... that really means a lot man, idk if i’ll ever pursue writing outside of a fic context, but it make me feel SO nice to think even for a second that i could. anyway!! thank u for making my day, this was such a nice little distraction on an otherwise dull and shit day, and thank u for being so sweet n supportive n i really appreciate you!!!!

#my heart is so full ilu #dfn: replies #anon #not kpop #my fic shit #Anonymous

8 notes · View notes

cheollies · 7 years

Text

Temporary

a/n: tbh i don’t know why I wrote this: I remember reading a prompt that was talking about how what if one character lost their memories and forgot that they are dating the person they thought was an a**hole in school.

more a/n: it’s almost midnight and I didn’t proof read so yeah

Genre: mostly angst? i guess. sorry.

Warnings: like one bad word and like one reference to sex

Jihoon saw it on the television, he heard it on the radio, it spammed his social media, he received text messages from shocked friends. The big car accident that caused a huge pile up at an intersection in the city. He knew the intersection, it was the one he’d go through to get to your work. Jihoon was uninterested in the news, the accident occurred in the middle of the day, surely you weren’t involved.

From: Jihoon

hey did you hear about the big crash, you’re going to have to take a different route home. bring food. (sent at 4:03pm)

He sat idly at home, twirling his cell for three hours, tv playing as background noise. Jihoon was waiting, he was waiting to hear the beep of the door, to maybe hear your voice laughing behind the door as you talked on the phone, to hear your annoyingly cute ‘aww did you wait for me’.

The television remained as the only light in the living room, it’s screen keeping Jihoon’s sleeping figure company. He laid crisscrossed on the floor, his body slumped over the short coffee table, buried his face in his arms with his hand tightly held onto his cell. His breath steady as he slept soundly, here and there he grunted out of uncomfortableness.

His phone vibrated, Jihoon jolted awake. A frightened tone slipping his mouth before he realized what it was. He noticed the time reflected on the screen: 12:19 am.

It was Soonyoung’s voice that had him panicing, that had his heart racing, his mind cursing at himself.

“It’s y/n, she was in the car accident. I guess she still had me as her emergency contact. She’s fine, don’t worry. Visiting hours are over so you can come tomorrow morning.”

Jihoon slept horribly that night. He tossed and turned, he flipped his pillow over fifteen times, he buried himself in his blanket then tossed it on the ground. He never realized how empty the bed felt without you in it.

Jihoon calculated it. If he drove leisurely, he could arrive at the hospital on time for visiting hours. But he knew with his anxious mind, he’d drive fast. So he distracted himself with coffee, breakfast, tv, social media, but in the end, he’d end up bouncing his legs, biting his lower lips as he bore a hole into the clock on the wall.

It was all white. The walls, the floor, the desk that hid the nurses, even the person leading him to the room was wearing white. He passed by other rooms in agony, apparently other victims of the crash were on the same floor, and he could hear families sobbing, people staring at the floor with dread. He wondered if he would be the same.

It was the moment of truth, he was in front of the door. Now all he had to do was open it. His hand was shaking as if he knew that behind the door was something he couldn’t handle. He imagined the worst, and for some reason it felt like it was the worse. Jihoon slid the door open.

What hit him first was something he did not expect, it confused him, it utterly made him muddled. You and Soonyoung were laughing, Soonyoung was sitting in a chair next to you, his whole body shaking with his loud voice. And you, you were doing the clap of yours like you usually did when you laughed hard. Your eyes gleamed with happiness, your lips tugged upwards, and Jihoon’s anxiousness slipped away. He was hearing your voice.

The laughter died down as Jihoon stepped into the room. He offered a warm smile towards you, it was his relief to see you. And he hugged you, like it was going to be his last hug, he hugged you with every sleepless minute he had the previous night. He pulled back, and he stared at you, at you who stared back with such blank eyes.

You opened your mouth, and he awaited you to say something, to probably nag him of the dark circles under his eyes, to ask him if he ate last night, to complain about his messy bed hair that he still donned.

And out of your mouth came, “What the fuck are you doing here.”

Jihoon could see you in between the slight opening of the closed curtains. You were eating a pudding cup but you were glaring at him through the crack, and he wanted to clench his jaw, to give out an exasperated laugh.

“Are you telling me she doesn’t remember anything. She still sees me as the jerk who ‘apparently’ stole the studio she was working in.” Jihoon wanted to laugh at the sentence that came from his mouth.

“Well you did steal it--”

“I did not steal it, if she wanted the studio in the first place then she was to put her name on the door. That was the rule!”

“No it wasn’t!!” You shouted from the other side of the curtain.

Soonyoung pushed Jihoon back from trying to remove the curtain to have the same conversation you two had had in front of your college music department after being kicked out for rowdiness.

“Look. The doctor says she’ll get her memories back, it just takes time. She’ll slowly regain them in no time.”

Jihoon sighs, seeing you give him an irritated face behind the curtains. His eye was already twitching from having to deal with a college you who hated his guts.

“You’ve got to be joking.” Your arms are crossed in front of your chest. Your facial expression shows disbelief at the news Soonyoung had broken to you, “He and I?” Soonyoung nods, “Dating?” He nods once more. You look at Jihoon who’s giving you a vexed look, “Stop lying.”

You were laughing, and it wasn’t funny laughter, no, your laughter was filled with annoyance. You couldn’t believe your eyes, in fact you were almost believing that you had a twin. In front of you, you were swiping the phone screen, pictures were displayed. You were looking at yourself and Jihoon, smiling, looking chummy sitting next to each other. You stopped at the pictures of your surprise kiss to Jihoon’s cheek, it was too lovey dovey for your current taste.

“I still don’t believe it.” You tossed the phone in front of you.

Jihoon held the bridge of his nose. He suddenly remembers just how stubborn you were before you two had started dating, “Whatever. I have your stuff, the doctor says we can discharge you. So let’s just go home.”

“Home?” You nearly shout.

Jihoon shoots Soonyoung a peeved expression when he hears Soonyoung whisper “oh no. don’t answer that.”

Jihoon huffs out a deep sigh, “We live together.”

Begrudgingly, after being politely rejected by both Soonyoung and your parents who visited and happily greeted Jihoon, you were sitting in the passenger seat of his vehicle. It was silent, awkward, and frankly weird on both of your parts. It was at a stop light that Jihoon finally sees you pull your phone out of one of the hospital bags. Your eyes squint at the screen that displayed a picture you had so forced Chan to take on your one year anniversary. Your eyes then crinkle confused at the surprise keypad that showed up.

Your eyes quickly glance at Jihoon. He knew your stubbornness would cause you to refuse to ask for help. The light turns green, Jihoon clenches onto the steering wheel tightly, “0-1-2-8. That’s the password. It’s the day we started dating.”

It was unfamiliar to you, everything in the small apartment was vaguely things you could tell was your taste, the photos set around were clearly you but it didn’t feel like you. It was unfamiliar to Jihoon, this was you. You were standing in front of him, but it wasn’t the current you. It was the you from three years ago, the you who was insecure and stubborn, who was scared but didn’t want to show it.

“I talked to your workplace. They’re going to give you some time off to recover. Um..” Jihoon felt as though he was rooming with a stranger, “the bathroom’s down the hall to the left, and the bedroom is on the right. We only have one room since we slept together but I guess I can sleep on the couch.”

You were silent and when you were silent, Jihoon knew that meant you were scared. He didn’t know how to comfort you, he couldn’t do his usual things. He couldn’t sing to you as it would be too weird. He couldn’t hug you, it would definitely result in him being hit in places. He couldn’t talk to you, you would never open up to him in your current mental state. So he did what he could think of.

You smelled the food from the bedroom, you followed the smell to where Jihoon was. His legs crossed as he sat on the floor, the coffee table overflowing with food obviously delivered. Jihoon had just started eating when you showed yourself.

“Eat.” He spoke silently.

He watched you munch on the foods. Your expressions were the same as the time he had first ordered from the restaurant. Your eyes widened with each new thing in your mouth, and your lips slowly curled at the wonderful flavors sitting on your tongue. He couldn’t help it, Jihoon broke in a small laugh.

“What.” You spoke with a mouthful.

Jihoon shakes his head, “Nothing.”

“You’re laughing at me aren’t you! I’m hungry okay!” Bits of rice flew out as you spoke.

Jihoon calmed, a melancholy smile on his lips, “You just, you just looked the same as before. This is actually your favorite place to eat. You always order the same thing, the restaurant knows our number by memory because you call a lot.” The atmosphere of the room suddenly dropped. The rest of the meal was eaten in silence.

The night was cold. Jihoon finally falls asleep, exhausted from the day's events, feeling reassured that you were resting in the room just next over. You on the other hand, shifted, tossed, and turned, stared at the ceiling. Everything was distantly familiar. The softness of the blankets brought an eerie feeling, the pictures brought puzzle pieces of memories that just didn’t fit together, the bathroom filled with a cologne scent that made your body shiver at the pleasant smell you don’t recall ever knowing before.

It was freezing when you had awoken. The coldness made your fingers ache to move, you curled into a ball under the blanket, you breathed into your hands for warmth, and just as you were going to fall back asleep, you heard laughter. A smile appeared quickly as you yanked the blanket off. Your shoulders shivered while you quickly pulled a hoodie from the closet over your body.

“Hannie~~” You nearly jumped on the man who sat at the counter.

Jeonghan grinned, “Y/N~~”

“Oh my god” you looked at him in shock, “You dyed your hair blonde and you cut it. And you even got more handsome, woah, I didn’t think that could happen.” you poke at him teasingly.

Jeonghan provides you with a model pose, boasting about himself for a good minute. Jihoon snorts from the other side of the counter. Almost in unison, you and Jeonghan shoot him an irritated expression.

Jihoon sips from his mug, “Nice hoodie.”

Your fingers clench around the end of the arm sleeve, the fabric is soft against your skin as it falls just below your bottom, the scent is of the same cologne from the bathroom.

“Thanks.” You say skeptically.

Jihoon brings the mug to his lips again, “it’s the one you always wear post-sex.”

Jeonghan chokes on his coffee, the liquid being spat from his mouth in the process and your face flushes red, the tips of your ears burning. Jihoon watches in amusement as you toddle down the hall to get changed.

Jeonghan recovers from his little accident, “Jealous much?”

Jihoon shrugs, “Just trying to help her regain her memories.”

He’s losing hope. It’s been over a month since you’ve been discharged. Bits of memories have been recovered, like work friends, or frequent visits to the cafe across the street. But Jihoon’s beginning to lose hope on his relationship.

Jihoon watches you from the other side of the couch. Your eyes remain fixed on the television that displays the drama you and him were suppose to be caught up on a prior to the accident. You can feel his staring, you pretend to be interest in the drama. Instead your thoughts drift to the pictures displayed below the tv. You’ve realized how different this Jihoon was, he seemed somewhat kinder, he seemed to know so many things about you that you never would have guessed you’d share with him. And for some reason, you feel guilty, guilty that it seems like you robbed him of someone else.

“Y/n.” You hum in response to him. You can feel the couch cushions shifting, “Y/n.” You hum once more, you can feel him next to you, “Y/n.”

“What.”

You finally turn to look at him, what you expect is to see Jihoon scowling at you but what you receive is his soft lips on yours, he’s pushing in, holding you closely. You pull back, a sharp hand planted on his cheek.

It’s quiet. A commercial ad plays in the back. You’re shocked, not at the kiss, but at your hand that had slapped his face.

“Jihoon.” Your voice is shaking, “I really didn’t mean to.”

An airy laugh leaves his mouth. He looks at you, “I’m fine.” he didn’t look fine to you, his lips were almost quivering, his eyes shimmering just like how water reflected in the sun, he was smiling and yet you knew that he really wasn’t, “that meant nothing to you? You didn’t feel anything? You know the first time I kissed you, i thought I was going to die. We went on five dates and our first kiss wasn’t even an official one, Soonyoung thought it would be funny to make us kiss by having us play the pocky game then pushing me during it.” Jihoon painly looks at you, “nothing?”

It falls silence once again.

“It’s late, we should go to bed.” He says it coldly, shutting the television, laying himself down onto the couch and burying himself into it. You’re left sitting on the edge of the couch in darkness, the outline of his figure barely made out.

Just like the first night back, you shift in various positions, you toss and turn, and you stare at the ceiling. His expression sticks in your mind, how desperate he looked, how it looked as though he begged that he needed you.

Jihoon stirs in the middle of his sleep, he’s feeling the couch cushions move, an extra weight being pushed on. He sees a figure, and he’s about to shout.

“Jihoon.”

“Y/n?” Jihoon sighs, “God I was going to hit you. What are you doing.”

He’s turned on a nearby lamp, your face has softened, it’s different from how you’ve been. Jihoon’s using his forearms to prop himself up. And he feels your touch on his cheek, your palms warmly touching him, your fingers trailing to his hair, tickling the tip of his ear.

“I missed you Woozi.”

Woozi. Jihoon’s breath hitches. Only you would call him that. It was a term to annoy him at first, but suddenly it switched to an endearment term you would use occasionally. And now, in the middle of the night, you’ve spoken one word that’s changed the pace of his heart.

“Aw he looks so much happier.” Jeonghan coos at Jihoon who's moved a stray of your hair from your face.

Soonyoung grins, “It’s like watching one of those sickly loving movie.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes, “I don’t remember inviting you two over for breakfast.”

“It’s okay. They’re just visiting me.” You place a hand on his chest to reassure him, “I’ll see you after work.”

Jihoon nods, “I’ll see you after.” Jihoon glares at the smiling boys in front of him, “You two better be gone when I get home or else.”

The door closes behind Jihoon, and all held breaths in the home are let out. The air is thick, eyes of sorrow are passed around the room. The boys fiddle with their clothing, not knowing how to begin the next conversation, “Do you really want to do this. Lie to him about regaining your memories?”

“It’s only temporary.” You look at the uneasy boys, “So. Let’s start from the beginning, when did we start dating.”

#jihoon #svt #svt scenarios #seventeen scenarios #seventeen #jihoon scenarios #woozi #woozi scenarios

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