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#⠀「⠀. ❀ ུ˚. we are all someones monster⠀」… crack
wangxianficfinder · 2 days
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In the mood for...
Apr 29th
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1. Itmf wangxian but A) it's a universe with mechas and wwx may/may not be a mecha genius or mecha master?
B) wx but make it Interstellar univ
C) wwx transmigrating please
1A)
The Weight of the World by KouriArashi (T, 67k, WangXian, XiYao, XuanLi, Pacific Rim Fusion, Robots, Monsters, robots fighting monsters, Family, Romance, Developing Relationship, Angst, (but not about the romances), Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Happy Ending)
Thunder's Coming Over Me by phnelt (E, 38k, WangXian, WIP, Avatar & Benders Setting, Pacific Rim Fusion, temporary character death (wwx's), Angst with a Happy Ending, Action & Romance)
I’ll buy you the moon (I’ll buy you two) by Thesaurus_with_no_words (E, 27k, WangXian, Science Fiction, Space, Rebels, Space Opera, On the Run, Promoted To Parent, Robots, Androids, Mechs, Battle Mechs, Hurt/Comfort, Technopathy, Willful and Deliberate Baby and Wife Acquisition, Porn With Plot, Mpreg) would this count if the mech fighting is only mention and wwx is currently a technopath?
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2. Itmf request! Any fics where LWJ and WWX get together (even if just as friends) before LWJ figures himself out and so he's embarrassed by WWX or otherwise reticent or dismissive about their relationship?
Cleaning & Courtship by Winxhelina (T, 13k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, Getting Together, First Kiss, Bunnies, Domestic Fluff, Fluff) fits the bill I feel. Lan Wangji definitely isn’t dismissive on purpose but he is awfully embarrassed and flustered in chapter 2. (And in fact In the secret chapter 3 that has been in my drafts for ages, but we don’t talk about her. The story is done. Supposedly.)
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3. heyy there, feeling for some angsty fics of lwj finding out wwx death or just grieving for him over the years. thanksss
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4. hello! thank you for all the lovely work you do mods, this is my favourite account for finding fic recs :)
i wanted to ask for recommendations of fics where lwj is pining for wwx and maybe genuinely emotionally hurt, or some temporarily unrequited love? the angstier the better tbh, i want to see lwj go through it (before wwx makes it better). only happy endings though please :’)
thanks so much!! 💖
Continuation by thefaceofno (T, 14k, WangXian, Canon Continuation, WWX builds a lotus pond in cloud recesses, Hair Brushing, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, gay disaster LWJ, Post-Canon Fix-It)
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5. fics of lwj being protective of wwx?? have a good day, thanks. ❤️
Inchoate by Marinelifeclub (T, 20k, WangXian, WIP, Child Abuse, Bad Parent JFM, Bad Parent YZY, Protective LQR, Protective LWJ, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Not YZY Friendly, Not JC Friendly, No Golden Core Transfer, Dark JFM)
🔒 between the shadow and the soul by Reverie (cl410) (M, 22k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, JC/NHS, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Family, Dark WWX, Feral WWX, Memory Loss, Magic, Magical Realism, Protective LWJ, Protective JC, Protective JYL, Grief, BAMF WWX, POV Alternating)
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6. Hi! For the next itmf, do you have anything with jyl acting as a mother to wwx? Or anything similar
Fatherhood’s Calling by Fortune_Maiden (G, 1k, JYL/JZX, JZX & WWX, post-sunshot, crack, humor)
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7. Hi! Someone suggest coming here to ask for wangxian fic recs so here I am >^<. Anyways, do you know any fics where wangxian got together before wei wuxian's death? As in, wwx still dies and comes back later in mxy's body.
Thanks in advance!
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8. in the mood for a wangxian fic thats shows/movies rewritten to fit wangxian, i recently read this mamma mia and love O2O au and fell in love with wangxian being put in shows/movies @yesibest
all your life you’ll dream of this by Attila (T, 22k, WangXian, Fairy tale, Cinderella Fusion, Pining)
🔒 the stars in the hazy heaven tremble above you by cicer (G, 64k, WangXian, Fantasy, Cinderella Fusion, Mutual Pining)
the rivers start to sing by fruitys (M, 27k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Tangled (2010) Fusion, Fairy Tale Elements, Strangers to Lovers, True Love's Kiss, or something like that, Sharing a Bed, Wound Tending, Hurt/Comfort, Attempt at Humor, Implied/Referenced Torture, Canon-Typical Violence, the inherent intimacy of traveling with a beautiful stranger, and completely depending upon one another for 3 days)
Down comes the night by danegen (E, 67k, wangxian, Alternate Universe, Canon Era, inspired by From, Horror, Sharing a Room, POV LWJ, no jiangs, a whole village of OCs, tiny mention of past wwx/omc, Happy Ending)
The Dragon's Bride by jaws_3 (T, 34k, WangXian, Beauty and the Beast Fusion, Arranged Marriage elements, Slow Burn, sometimes ya get sent off to atone for ur villages misgivings and u just gotta deal, Dragon LWJ, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Spanish Translation Available)
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9. Can you all recommend me some fanfic (preferably if long and not modern AU) also if it's completed. @lanwuxian0725
💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27)
Teen Project to Change the World by animeloverhomura (Not rated, 810k, WangXian, watching the series, BAMF WWX, Fix-It, JGS is his own warning, Attractive WWX, Homophobia, disturbing imagery, WIP)
🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 786k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement)
❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)
A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, slow burn, getting together, first time, pining, pining while fucking, burial mounds settlement days, angst w happy ending)
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10. Itmf: anything with wwx meeting his family on his father’s side? Preferably Pre-canon or a canon divergence
We Meet at the Thousandth Step by Admiranda, Rynne (T, 295k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, WIP, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR & WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Night Hunts, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Plot, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Everyone Lives AU, Developing Relationship, Minor Violence, Case Fic, Mystery, Flirting, WWX’s Canon-Typical Flower Flirting, Arson, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, New Relationship Bliss, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings, Married WangXian, Honeymoon, Wangxian’s Baby Fever)
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11. Hi! As always thank you for everything!!! Do you have recs where lwj kinda gets hurt and wwx just go ylz crazy?? Thank you!! @gideonmorningstar
the field meets the wood by astronicht (T, 7k, WangXian, BAMF WWX, slight whump, Ritualistic Self Harm, Canon Era, Tang Dynasty style, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, salt economics, Post-Canon)
cold black light by rynleaf (E, 2k, WangXian, PWP, Major Character Injury, Unorthodox Methods of Healing, Rough Sex(Ish) Anal Fingering, The Yiling Patriarch, Blood, Bottom LWJ, Aftercare, LWJ is in love, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Podfic Available)
love what’s burning right in front of you by seularen (E, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, BAMF!WWX, description of murder, Case Fic, Political Intrigue, YL WWX, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, but Big Switch Energy)
to be wielded by your hands by Vir_Abelasan (M, 3k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Fluff and Smut, Competence Kink, Knifeplay, Established Relationship, LWJ has a Yiling Patriarch kink, Consensual sealing of meridians, kink negotiated on the fly, Strength Kink, Resentacles)
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12. hiii!! thank you for all the work you do.
i'm itmf some wwx age regression? like he gets cursed somehow and turns into little a-ying and it's just all feels with the juniors and lwj taking care of him :(((
❤️ grow by cafecliche (T, 14k, WangXian, Age Regression/De-Aging, Character Study, Post-Canon)
found your writing on my wall by howodd5ever (T, 25k, WangXian, JC & LWJ, JC & WWX, Accidental Baby Acquisition, De-aged WWX, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Referenced Child Neglect, discussion of parental loss, child food insecurity, Case Fic, kind of, Nightmares)
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13. hello! i was wondering if there are any fics where Jin Zixuan and Wei Wuxian become like besties/sworn brothers or like really close? thanks <3 @nyxiblue
❤️🔒 Candy & Conspiracies by Reverie (cl410) (T, 16k, wangxian, JZX & WWX, jin wwx, fluff & crack, found family, humor, no angst) WX is taken in by the Jin instead of the Jiang, & he, JZX, & MM are besties
🔒 The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 56k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang Sect Friendly, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, JGS is his own warning, Wooing, LWJ is romantic af, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad) has Wei Wuxian become sworn brothers with Jin Zixuan
Twin Treasures by crossdressingdeath (T, 81k, WIP, JZX & WWX, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Can’t quite tag this as ‘everyone lives’ but I promise everyone who dies will DESERVE IT, mostly novel-verse with a bit of CQL here and there, currently being edited) has Wei Wuxian and Jin Zixuan become actual brothers.
watch what we'll become by glitteringmoonlight (T, 60k, JZX & WWX, WangXian, Background JZX/JYL, WWX & JZX are married but completely platonically, featuring my let WWX and JZX be bros agenda, slow burn? is it even a slow burn if they confess but can't be together for Reasons?, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Angst with a Happy Ending, you've heard of enemies to friends to lovers, now get ready for enemies to reluctant husbands to begrudging best friends)
🔒 Quartet series by WithBroomBefore (T, 69k, Platonic Soulbond, Hurt/comfort, Canon   Divergence, No golden core transfer, JC&JZX stay in Xuanwu cave, Fix-it, Temporary character death)
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14. ITMF ask, I’m looking for any golden core fix it fics. (with minimal to no JC bashing plz) I’ve looked through the comp and it doesn’t clearly separate fix-its, golden-core revels and golden-core fix its. And some authors don’t explicitly tag a golden-core fix-it or wwx getting a new core as explicitly that, sometimes they just leave it tagged as a fix-it and it’s missed. So give me any good ones you’ve got. @omgnectarina
The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou (E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts)
💖 Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 51k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Universe Alteration, the yiling patriarch survives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Catharsis, Slow Burn, Drama, Getting Together, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Melancholy, Love, Mutual Pining, Reunions, Love Confessions, Eventual Smut, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Switching, Grief/Mourning, fucking while pining, Implied/Referenced Torture, Self-Harm, golden core transfer, Playing fast and loose with worldbuilding, Plot, Battle Scenes, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, implied / Referenced suicide attempt, Sect Leader WWX, YLLZ WWX, Yílíng Wèi Sect, mind all the tags) might count as a GC Fix-It?
🧡 Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 48k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-it fic, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions)
the breaking of your soul (upon my lips) by sunsandships (M, 40k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Mutual Pining, Golden Core Reveal, Happy Ending)
Righteous at a Cost by thunderwear (G, 21k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, no one dies, LQR finds out about WWX’s core, WWX and LQR are friends??, In My Fic?, its more likely than you think, LWJ in the bg like whats happening?, Fluff, WWX goes to Gusu, Mutual Pining, Golden Core Reveal)
Ghosts Shouldn’t by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 15k, WangXian, Grief/Mourning, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)
Can’t Tell Me Nothin by natacup82 (T, 35k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, Family Feels, Communication, BAMF Women)
I’m Sorry & Thank You by Iamnotawriter (T, 12k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Golden Core, Canon-Typical Violence, lqr’s epipheny, Angst with a Happy Ending)
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15. helloo, itmf wei ying near death experiences, canon or modern is finee. thankss.
🔒 a candle blown out by RoseThorne (T, 1k, LWJ & WWX, JC & WWX & JYL, JFM & WWX, Near Death, Depression, Psychological Trauma, Justice, Fear, Angst, No War AU, Attempted Murder, Bad Parent YZY, POV Third Person, POV LXC, Podfic Available)
🔒 a star called sun by thelastdboy (E, 120k, wangxian, SL/XXC, JC & JYL & WWX, JYL & LWJ, WWX & WN & WQ, JYL/JZX, Canon Divergence after Xuanwu Cave, Fall of Lotus Pier, But worse!, Power Imbalance, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Not Everyone Dies AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, Sunshot Campaign, Miscommunication, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Major Character Injury, Loss of Limbs, Chronic Illness, Seizures, WWX’s Three Months in the Burial Mounds, Wēn Remnants Live, Wēn Remnants Deserve Better, WWX Creates a Sect | Yílíng Wèi Sect, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Hurt/Comfort, Selectively Mute LWJ, Service Animals, Crows)
🔒 Bright Voice Roughly Rendered Softly Silent by Preludian_Staves (T, 26k, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, No Golden Core Transfer, Muteness, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Not JC Friendly, Confessions, Angst, Choking, Red String of Fate, Appearances by Paperman!WWX, Inventor WWX, Good Uncle LQR, WWX goes to Cloud Recesses, Feelings Realization, Caretaking, Supportive Lan Family, Genius WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Protective LWJ, Protective Lan Family, Character Death (not wwx or lwj))
when you’re doing all the leaving (then it’s never your love lost) by tardigradeschool (T, 26k, wangxian, canon divergence, hurt/comfort, canon-typical violence, sharing clothes, sharing a bed, fix-it, golden core transfer)
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16. Hi, thank you for all the work you do.
Wondering if there's any fics where Jiang Cheng does manage to capture Wei Wuxian post res and drag him back to Lotus Pier. (Like lwj doesn't get to him in time or jl doesn't get to save him) Preferably JC unfriendly, thanks!
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17. This blog is amazing thank you mods!!!!
A) Do you know of any Jin Zixuan lives and brother in laws Wei wuxian and jiang cheng
Or
B) Sister in law Jiang Yanli with Lan zhan
17A)
Marital Prospects by Vamillepudding (G, 18k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, Romantic Comedy, Misunderstandings, LWJ Needs a Hug)
17B)
Aftermath by KouriArashi (T, 57k, JYL/JZX, wangxian, LXC/JGY, JZX & JGY, JYL & WXX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Everybody Lives, Romance, Developing Relationship, Family, Sibling Bonding, Light Angst, Politics, Attempted Sexual Assault, some murder on occasion, People talking about their feelings, processing their trauma, The good shit) Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are engaged but not married yet at the end.
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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***
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mrsmarinara · 16 hours
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“Can I sleep with you? with timo !!!
I’m All Yours || Timo Meier
Prompt: 29. “Can I sleep with you?”
Word count: 1.4k
A/N: I’m actively fist fighting writers block as I’m posting this. I also didn’t edit this so if my grammar is all over the place we should maybe focus on something else.
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You were stubborn. You knew this and accepted it. Everyone had faults and some people refused to ever look in the mirror and face theirs. However, your stubbornness was not something you had to reflect on and learn about yourself. You had been a stubborn child, something that had gotten you into trouble often, and even now you were a stubborn adult.
Usually, it wasn’t a problem in your relationship.
Tonight was different, though.
Tonight was supposed to be your night together. The season had just ended and you finally had your boyfriend all to yourself. So when the two of you had gone out for dinner, just you and him in what felt like forever, you were delighted. When he looked at you with such admiration in his eyes or when he held your smaller hand within his own as he drove to the restaurant, it felt like a battle to not throw up the butterflies that were fluttering about in your stomach.
When the waitress had come to the table and made it abundantly clear that Timo was going to be at the sole focus of her attention. Every time she giggled or blushed, your heart had sunken deeper and the sips you had taken from your glass of wine had become longer. Timo hadn’t told a joke or shown any interest in her. In all the time the two of you had been together he had never done anything to make you feel as though he even thought of straying away from your relationship.
That wasn’t the point, though, and that was what he didn’t understand. He only looked at you with confusion as you slowly stopped contributing in the conversation. The confusion had turned to irritation when during the car ride back home you were quiet. Your cheeks were warm from the alcohol and there was an envious angry little monster in your chest that just wanted to rear its head.
Your boyfriend was charming, athletic and easy on the eyes. It wasn’t hard to understand the attention that he received and during the hockey season you were fine to step back and watch with a smile as people flocked to him. This was the off-season, though, and it was supposed to be your time with your boyfriend but it seemed as if you couldn’t even have that.
That was what he didn’t understand.
“I can’t control if someone decides to flirt with me,” he had said, annoyed that he even had to have this argument. He thought you would understood that and see that he never indulged those who batted their eyelashes at him.
“That’s not why I’m upset,” you scoffed, not looking at Timo. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at your boyfriend and be reminded how even though you felt as though you were entirely his, he was never fully yours.
You had made your way into your shared bedroom and were struggling to undo the straps of your heels when Timo walked through the bedroom door. It only took one glance at the man to know that he was slowly losing his patience. His neatly combed hair was all over the place, probably from running his hands through it.
You looked away. You knew if you really took him in and saw the confused frustration on his face your anger would seep out of your body and for just a little while you wanted to sit in your simmering anger.
“Why are you upset then?” He asked.
When you finally managed to pull your shoes off you sighed and kicked them to the side. Timo watched, noting how you didn’t pick them up and put them in their place in the closet like you usually did.
“Did you even realize that tonight was the first night that we were spending together, alone and to ourselves in months?”
“That’s not true.” Timo said immediately.
“Oh? When was the last time we actually spent time together? Just you and me?” Your voice cracked as you asked him. You knew when the last time was and you were even more certain that Timo didn’t.
“Schatz-,” Timo sighed and took a step closer to you only for you to shake your head and step further away.
“I’ve accepted that I have to share you with everyone but it would be nice if you could actually want to spend time with just me,” you said bitterly.
You grabbed a pillow from your side of the bed when you felt a lump start to form in your throat. You didn’t want to cry but more than that you didn’t want to cry in front of Timo.
“I’m gonna spend tonight in the living room, goodnight.” You dodged his arms as you left your bedroom with your pillow and pajamas in your arms.
He called out for you again but knew better than to come after you. Sometimes you needed a minute to yourself.
However, a few minutes had turned into a few hours and you were still sitting on the couch. At this point, the only thing keeping you in the living room was your own stubbornness. You were still upset but the anger you had felt earlier had slowly ebbed away and now you just wanted to crawl into your comfortable bed and fall asleep in Timo’s open arms. You didn’t want to appear like a misbehaved dog that was coming back to its master with its tail between its legs. You weren’t wrong and a part of you needed your boyfriend to know that too.
You pulled the throw blanket you had pulled from the end of the couch tighter around yourself as you watched the clock that hung on the wall. With each tick that moved the arms of the clock you grew more antsy and after thirty minutes you finally sat up.
Grabbing your pillow and standing up you decided that you would be annoyed with your actions tomorrow. Tonight you just needed to feel your boyfriends strong arms around you.
Padding softly to your bedroom you silently hoped that Timo had fallen asleep. That way you wouldn’t have to explain yourself.
You didn’t get so lucky. As you stood in the door way to your bedroom Timo blinked back at you from your large bed. He wasn’t small by any means but looking on it seemed as if the bed was trying to swallow him whole.
“Can I sleep with you?” It was almost a whisper. You felt childish but also wary asking if. What if he was angry with you for being so upset earlier? You didn’t have anything left in you to fight again tonight.
Without hesitating Timo opened his arms for you. You wasted no time in striding over and crawling into the bed. You dropped your pillow in its usual spot and then promptly ignored it as you laid your head on Timo’s muscular chest. His arms closed around you and the warmth that enveloped you was enough to make you set out a sigh of relief.
Your eyes started to flutter shut as Timo rubbed soothing circles on your warm. You thought you were going to fall asleep without either of you saying anything but Timo whispered in the darkness, “it was during the preseason. When we went on a walk through the park and you ate the entire pretzel we were meant to share.”
You stiffened, jolted into a more awake state by his words.
“What?”
“The last time we spent time together,” he said, quiet and slowly as if he was afraid you’d turn away from him. “Just the two of us.”
“Timo-,” you said, just as quietly. You thought he had forgotten. That once the season started up again the only thing that he thought about was the game he played and those he played with and for.
“You have every right to be angry. Tonight was supposed to be about the two of us and I’m sorry that I didn’t see that you were upset earlier.”
You took in what he was saying in silence. You could hear and feel how sorry he was in the way he spoke and how he held you. The two of you definitely needed to talk more about this but that could wait until the sun was shining and you were both clear minded and awake. Tonight you only needed one thing.
“You’re all mine?”
You asked him, hating how fragile and hopeful you sounded.
He turned his head to the side so his lips brushed against your forehead as he spoke softly, saying the words as though they were a promise, “all yours.”
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Vampire- J. Guilbert (prologue)
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pairing: Princess!reader x Vampire!Johnnie
classification: SMUT, fluff, slight angst, vampire AU
inspiration: request1, request2, Vampire by Johnnie Guilbert
warnings: 18+, MDNI, literal sex; mentions of mortality, biting, blood, parental death, death, killing; set in 14th-17th century Renaissance, pretty modern dialogue tbh, sub!Johnnie (kinda?), use of Y/n
summary: You take your relationship with Johnnie, your vampire lover, one step further.
Vampire PT.1
Autumn leaves crunch against your shoes as you walk through the castle garden. Beautiful red and white roses line the outer walls, each one beginning to die due to the cold temperature the season has brought.
You take a fleeting look behind you, footsteps quickening as you follow the row of roses to the garden’s outer gate. If anyone were to see or follow you, you’d have to save your escape for another day.
Luckily, no one is watching. The guards are too busy patrolling the front of the castle, your father is in a neighboring village, Bernadette is completing her chores, and your mother is deeply immersed in literature in the castle library.
Your hand pushes against the big, rusty gate. You hold your breath and wince when the metal creaks, examining your surroundings one last time before slipping through the crack.
The ground is soft, dead leaves and fog hiding your feet as they trudge through the mud.
“Johnnie?” you whisper shout, your delicate hand supporting itself against a tree. No response, just a howling gush of wind.
You decide to hike further, knowing that Johnnie hates meeting you close to the castle. After walking for some minutes, you find yourself in a clearing.
Moonlight shines through the gaps between the branches and the meadow’s bioluminescent moss glows with every footstep.
“Johnnie?” you try again, only raising your volume slightly.
You wait for a response, or to see his figure approach from within the forest, but all you hear is a coyote crying in the distance.
Every 3 days you venture out into the forest. Sometimes he shows, sometimes he doesn’t; it’s something that he’s explained to you time and time again. He’s a vampire, viewed as a predator by the rest of the world, and when he has villagers coming after him it just isn’t safe to meet you.
He’d never forgive himself if anything ever happened to you, and you know that, but it doesn’t hurt any less.
You’re about to give up and walk back home, when cold fingers swoop your long hair to one side. Johnnie’s lips find your skin, trailing kisses from your shoulder to the soft spot behind your ear
“I’m here, Princess,” he murmurs.
A smile forms on your face as your head falls back onto his shoulder. His arms have wrapped around your waist, holding you in place firmly as he continues feathering kisses all over your exposed skin.
“I’ve missed you, my love,” his breath fans against you, sending shivers down your spine. “I’ve missed you more,” you reply, and it’s true.
You turn to face him, warm hands delicately landing on his face. He’s so beyond beautiful, especially under the soft moonlight.
Your eyes dance over his face, watching as his fangs twinkle when he smiles. Most women would be running away in fear at the sight, but it only makes your knees buckle.
“3 days is too long.” His voice is still quiet, almost like he’s afraid someone is lurking nearby, ready to save you from a monster like him.
“You could just come visit me in the castle after everyone’s fallen asleep,” you suggest. His face was slowly inching towards yours, but he stops in his tracks at your comment.
“Y/n,” he warns, using your actual name instead of a pet name.
“We’ve been over this.”
“I know— it’s just— I miss you.” The last part sounds more defeated than you’d like.
“It’s not like we have forever, you know,” you whisper, wrapping your arms around your waist for some comfort. He knows that your time together is limited, and he hates that you’re constantly reminding him.
“Don’t start this again. Please,” he pleads. You only have a few hours together before the sun rises and he’s forced back into hiding, he doesn’t want to spend those fleeting moments arguing.
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” you say, your voice breaking slightly at the end. You’re close to breaking down into tears and he knows it.
“Y/n.” He pulls your gaze to his by your chin. Your eyes are glossy, a heartbreaking sight.
“I promise it won’t always be like this,” he says, not breaking eye contact. You’re not sure you believe him, mainly because of the ticking time bomb that is your mortality, but you want to believe him.
“Promise?” Your eyes hold so much hope.
“Promise.” He pulls your face in, finally kissing you after what seems like forever.
It’s slow and passionate, your lips moulding together at a steady rhythm. His hand holds a firm grip of your face, the other resting on your hip and pulling you closer to him.
You’re wearing a simple dress that contrasts your usual, elaborate gowns. So, as he pulls you in, you feel his erection pokes your lower abdomen. Subconsciously, his hips grind against you and a strained sound escapes his throat. He pulls away from the kiss, forehead flush against yours.
“What’s wrong?” you asks. His hand still holds your face and yours travels up to hold it, caressing his skin with your thumb.
“I should just— you should just go home,” he says, attempting to pull away from you completely, but you manage to keep him there. It’s surprising how someone so strong can be so weak when they’re in love.
“What? Why? We still have a couple hours left before the sun rises.”
“Because it’s dangerous out here. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
You roll your eyes. “No one is out here, Johnnie.”
He’s quiet. His mind his racing as he fights against his sinful thoughts. What he wants is to make love to you under the soft moonlight, but he’s worried that once he gets a taste of you, he won’t be able to control himself.
“Tell me what’s really wrong,” you say, pulling his hand off of your face to place gentle kisses on his knuckles.
“I’m just… I’m scared,” he admits. It’s an embarrassing confession coming from him, someone who doesn’t have to worry about anything other than what his next meal is gonna be.
You urge him to continue with your eyes.
“You do things to me that I can’t explain. I feel things that I’m not sure I can control when I’m around you.” Confusion is written all over your face.
“Here.” He guides your hand down to his erection, letting it cup his member over the fabric of his pants. “That’s what you do to me,” he gulps, struggling to hold himself back.
The feeling of your small hand wrapped around him is already excruciating enough, and the images that his imagination creates don’t help either.
“Johnnie,” you begin, already sounding breathless. A wetness grows between your thighs, and they subconsciously press together to relieve some tension.
“You’re not going to hurt me.” He appreciates the reassurance, but he’s still uncertain.
“I don’t want to risk it,” he replies through gritted teeth. His eyes clench shut when you begin massaging him, dick twitching and begging for release.
“Let me make you feel good. We can stop if it becomes too much,” you whisper, inching your face closer to his until your breath fans against his lips.
Your lips are ghosting his, barely grazing as he replies, “What if I can’t control myself? What if I hurt you?”
“You won’t. I know you won’t.”
Finally you close the gap between you two, opening your mouth to give him the access he’s been craving. It’s a sloppy, needy kiss fueled with passion and hunger. Your tongues battle for dominance, each lap mixed with moans and whimpers.
There’s a large tree stump in the middle of the clearing and you slowly guide Johnnie towards it by his hips. He walks backwards until his calves hit the bark, knees bending, causing him to sit.
His arms wrap around your waist, holding you like you’re his most prized possession as he stares up at you in awe. “I’m in control, okay?” you say, kissing him again before allowing your dress to fall past your shoulders and onto the ground.
Immediately, he tenses, feeling his animal instincts overcome him. The hunger is painful, so painful that his grip around you tightens. You’re not wearing a bra or panties, a beautiful sight that causes his pupils to dilate.
“Hey, look at me,” you say gently. “You’re not going to hurt me.”
Johnnie nods his head, allowing his eyes to dance over your body. You’re so beautiful; your round breasts bouncing slightly with your every movement and your curvy hips swaying as you position yourself between his thighs.
He can’t take it anymore, he needs to taste you. You gasp as Johnnie suddenly takes your left nipple in his mouth, gently sucking and licking on your sensitive nub.
“I really, really need you,” he rasps against your skin. “I know baby. I know,” you reply through a strained moan. Your hand finds his hair and pull him impossibly closer to you.
His lips travel from your nipple to the valley of your breasts, kissing licking his way down to your belly button. “You’re so beautiful.”
You’re about to reply but his mouth feverishly makes its way back to yours before you can, engulfing your lips in a steamy makeout session that has you whimpering. You can feel him trying to take control, and if you want this night to go well, that can’t happen.
So, you make work of his pants and underwear in between kisses, tugging at the fabric until it pools on the ground around his ankles. His penis springs free, slapping against his stomach.
“Remember who’s in control,” you remind him through the kiss.
He takes a deep breath, resting his forehead against your chest as he attempts to compose himself; to measure his strength as you two venture into uncharted territory.
You play with his hair, giving him the time he needs before pushing him back onto the tree stump until he’s laying on his back. Slowly, you crawl over him until you’re straddling his lap.
You lean down to his ear, placing a few open mouth kisses on the nape of his neck as you whisper, “We’re gonna take this slow, okay?”
“I—” he begins, cutting himself off.
“We can stop if you want to.”
“I don’t want to stop,” he says, “and that’s the problem because…”
“Because if I were to hurt you, Y/n, I don’t think I’d ever forgive myself. I’m struggling to keep my composure and we haven’t even done anything yet. If I get too carried away, pull me back into reality with you. Please,” he pleads the last part, tentative hands coming to rest on your hips. His touch is gentle, but firm.
You don’t respond, instead you nod your head and take his cock into your hands, dragging it up and down your slick folds before lining it with your entrance. His grip on your waist tightens as you begin to sink down on him, he clenches his jaw and watches tentatively as you take him without complaint.
A small moan escapes your lips at the stretch, your hands falling onto his chest for support. His skin is ice cold, a sensation that you quickly welcome. Johnnie fights to keep his composure, teeth digging so far into his lip that he’s drawing blood.
“Ready?” you ask sweetly. Johnnie responds by bucking his hips upwards, ensuring not to get too lost in the feeling.
He’s amazed that someone as delicate as you can hold this much power over him. He’s putty in your hands, he can’t remember the last time he felt this submissive.
You take the hint and begin moving up and down on his cock, bracing yourself with hands on his chest and knees on either side of his hips.
Johnnie’s grip on your waist is getting impossibly tighter, and if you weren’t so immersed in the pleasure, you might’ve registered the pain.
Your boobs bounce with your every movement, placing Johnnie in a lust filled trance. Your hair falls over one of your shoulders, swaying back and forth under the soft moonlight.
“Sit up please,” you command, your voice strained. Johnnie does as he’s told, and immediately you guide his face towards your breast. He’s hesitant at first, but the look you give him is enough to convince him that he can keep himself from taking a delicious bite from you.
His lips wrap around your left nipple as you continue bouncing up and down on his member. He’s completely lost in the euphoric feeling of you wrapped around him, a strong arm tightening around your figure.
“Johnnie,” you moan, your voice bringing him back to reality. He loosens his grip and brings you in for a kiss, drunkenly moulding his mouth against yours as you continue whimpering into his mouth.
His tongue swipes your bottom lip, begging for entrance so he can taste you. One of your moans serves as the perfect opportunity for him to slip his tongue in your mouth, drenching you like his existence depended on it.
Your tongue grazes one of his fangs, cutting you just enough for him to taste your blood. You feel the prick, but continue bouncing on his cock without paying too much attention.
“You’re doing so good, just like I knew you would,” you speak into the kiss. He loves the praise, especially because he just tasted your blood for the first time and can easily say he’s already addicted to
The position you were currently in was amazing, but your knees were starting to hurt and you really wanted to see what he’d look like from on top of you.
You hop off of him, earning a wince from him from the lack of contact. You lay back on the tree stump, innertwining your hand in his as you guide him over you. He follows your lead, immediately returning to the heated makeout session from before.
Slowly, he positions himself between your legs and lines himself up with your entrance. “Are you sure?” he asks breathlessly. This position gives him all the power, and he’s not sure he’ll be able to stop himself even if you try pulling him back to reality.
But you’re not scared of him, you never have been and you never could be. “Yes, my love. I’m sure.”
He looks beautiful on top of you, everything about his dark aura luring you in. Johnnie slowly sinks himself into you, one of his hands gripping the edge of the tree stump. The bark is rough against his fingers as he applies a pressure so powerful that it cracks the aged wood.
His thrusts are slow at first as he tries setting a manageable pace, but as he continues his eyes cloud with lust and desire and he begins pounding into you. The sound of your skin slapping together and your moans echo through the forest, his tip kissing your cervix every time.
His forehead is flush against yours. Johnnie loves you so much and it’s evident in the way his red eyes never break eye contact, despite the intensity of his movements.
He’s fighting against his strength to stop himself from breaking you in half, because if he really wanted to he could.
You keep bucking your hips into his as you chase your pending orgasm. Johnnie’s head falls onto your shoulder, grunts and groans fanning against your neck as his other hand pushes your hips down.
Your skin was sure to bruise, but none of that mattered right now. All that mattered was the feeling of his pelvis rubbing against your clit, bringing you dangerously close to your climax.
“I’m close!” you squeak.
Johnnie continues to snap his hips into you, fangs grazing your skin ever so slightly. He wants to do it; to take a bite of you, but he’s willing himself not to.
You wrap a leg around his waist, pulling him in until all he can do is roll his hips against you. Your pussy flutters around his cock as your orgasm washes over you.
The feeling of your spongy, warm walls clenching around him is enough to send him over the edge. His unmatched strength breaks yet another piece of the tree. He needed to occupy his mouth, so he’s latching onto your neck and sucking until the skin is bruised.
“I love you,” he murmurs through his orgasm, repeating the sentence so many times that it’s engraved in your mind.
Your voice is choppy as you try catching your breath, “I love you too.”
The next morning you wake up on a comfortable mattress surrounded by expensive pillows and a billowy comforter, but you wish you were still in the forest with Johnnie.
The night replays in your mind as you rub the sleep out of your eyes. A yawn escapes your lips as you stretch.
Suddenly you feel a throbbing pain on your waist. Your fingers trail down to the sensitive skin and you wince once they make contact.
Slowly, you throw the comforter to the side and walk over to your vanity. You bunch the fabric of your nightgown up against your breasts as you examine yourself in the mirror.
Your skin was lined with bruises so purple they were almost black. Quickly, you adjust your dress and make a mental note not to let Johnnie see them. You wouldn’t see him for another three days anyways, that was enough time for you to heal, right? Wrong.
Three days have passed and your bruises have only become more sensitive. They’re easy to hide when you’re home, mostly because you wear dresses so big that no one would ever notice them. The hickeys on your neck were masked with makeup and hidden behind your long hair.
You decide to stay home, because you know that Johnnie will somehow find out about the secret you hide under your clothes.
Just as you’re getting ready for bed, a sudden gush of wind blows past you. Johnnie enters through your bedroom window, looking around your room in a panicked frenzy until his eyes land on your figure.
“Johnnie?” you question in surprise. “Thank God you’re okay,” he sighs in relief, immediately walking over to you.
“You didn’t come to visit me,” he whispers sadly, “Why?”
When he waited in the clearing, and you never appeared, his mind raced with every and any possibly. Did someone hurt you? Was your kingdom under attack? Did you regret that night?
“I’ve just been really tired,” you say. It’s a lame excuse, but you hope he believes it.
“Did I do something wrong?” Johnnie’s hands land on your hips. You immediately wince, but try masking it with a cough. It’s no use though, he notices right away.
Johnnie bawls the fabric of your nightgown in his hands, ready to expose whatever you’re hiding. “Wait! No, Johnnie—” you try pushing him away, buts he’s so strong that he barely moves.
He wastes no time in lifting your nightgown, revealing the bruises that he left on your skin just three nights ago.
“I promise they’re worse than they look,” you try and reason, but he’s not hearing any of it. His jaw is clenched, eyes trained on the horrific colors that blend across your skin.
“Never again,” he grits, letting the fabric of your dress fall back down. It felt like a shameful curtain, you wanted to rip it off and crawl into bed.
“What?!” your voice cracks.
“You heard me. Never again. If that’s what I did with my hands, imagine what would’ve happened if I lost control.”
“But I can take it—”
“Yeah? You think you’ll be saying that when my fangs inevitably find their way to your neck?” he snaps, his tone so harsh that it slaps against your ears.
“So then turn me,” you reply. Everything always seemed so simple to you, but becoming a vampire wasn’t something he ever wanted you to experience.
“Don’t,” he warns.
“Why not, Johnnie? Huh? Why not? Are we just going to continue having this same conversation until the day I die? Do you think I asked for the bruises? All I wanted was to love you, but if I’m going to continue getting hurt then why not just turn me?”
He remains silent, watching as the tears brim your eyes.
“I can’t live in a world where I don’t get to love you, to properly love you,” your voice is hushed, tears streaming down your face as you sit on the edge of your bed. “It isn’t fair.”
“I’m a monster, Y/n. All I do is hurt everything and everyone I love. Trust me, you don’t want to love someone like me,” he spits. His words completely contradict what he truly feels.
“I didn’t ask to love you, Johnnie. I just... do.” You sound so defeated.
He sighs, kneeling front of you and trying to catch your gaze. “I love you too, Y/n. That’s why this hurts me so much. I don’t want to be the reason for your pain, even if it is accidental. I want to protect you so that I can love you for as long as possible. Do you understand that?”
“Then love me,” you plead, “What’s the point of protecting me if you’re not staying true to your promise? We’re running out of time, Johnnie. Everyday I wake up a little older and a little closer to death, so please just love me. Love me despite our differences. Love me even if you think I’m weak.”
You bring him in for a kiss, one that is so passionate that he can’t find it in himself to pull away. You lean back onto the bed, pulling him with you until he’s laying on top of you.
“Princess, please.”
“Just love me.” You murmur against his lips, and just like that he’s making love to you under the soft candlelight that illuminates your room.
From that moment forward, Johnnie has vowed to love you everyday like it’s your last.
MASTERLIST
A/n: thanks for being patient with me guys, ily! Also I hope you enjoy this anon (requests are linked) I haven’t proofread this so be gentle with me guys 🥹 I’ll proofread it mañana
- L.A.M.B👼🏻💗
taglist: @nickgetsmewetter @sturniololovers @raysmayhem-72 @worldlxvlys @gnxosblog @meg-sturniolo @creamoncreamoncream2 @mattnchrisworld @sanyi5 @lustfulslxt @whicked-hazlatwhore @tworosesblackthorn @mxqdii @fawned01 @junnniiieee07 @sturniolololover @missriddle03 @k-l-a-w-s @maryx2xx @biggesthat3r @herxyzblog @getosuckers @sturnioloarchive @tillies33ssss @fratbrochrisgf @aurizp @riasturns @sturnikitty @sturnrc @sturtriple16 @sillyfreakfanparty @imwetforyourmom @mattslovelygf @certifiednatelover @cartiiwannagotoplutoo @luvr4miya @somegirlfromasgard @l0vergrlll @pepsicolapussy333 @unbruisable @sugrhigh @khxna @wh0resstuff
note: if you want to be tagged in my fanfic related posts, you can access my TAGLIST and comment 💐 if your user is striked through, I wasn’t able to tag you :(
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hershelwidget · 10 months
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I drew something for TBoCI for the first time in what feels like forever even though it’s only been a month
Something something AU where instead of sending each kid to the Magical Islands FT keeps all them with him and Perry as well so they ALL end up on Cold Island pre-collapse… Alternatively here’s four canon characters and two fanmade characters, guess whos who (all of that was sarcasm)
In other words I decided I will starting this over from the ground-up. It’s been over a year and my motivation is finally, FINALLY back. I will be keeping all of the current stuff on @theballadofcoldisland but that ask blog is officially shut down and is now just an archive.
Instead of being one long and strange story that only focuses on characters that honestly have nothing to do with the title, I will split TBoCI into several smaller stories that give a MUCH better insight on the motivations, groups, and the like. I will inevitably share the original files, drafts, and ideas.
This is the part where I get somewhat emotional and sincere apologies in advance to plushii, who I might mention in there. All good things, my friend. All good things.
I think this is the best course of action. There are a lot of characters in this story that despite being incredibly important, are not addressed properly or not at all until the last chapter that only exists in my notes. I mean… A massive amount of this story has only been discussed in a discord chat with a person I cannot contact anymore. It’s a massive mess of an idea that sounds stupider everytime I think of it.
And then a long while ago now, I was on Pony Town and talking to a friend I has just made. I distinctly remember they were in a Celestial skin. I think at some point they’d asked what “TBoCI” meant in my name, and I explained my story to them. They said they were writing a fanstory for MSM as well. I encouraged them to post it.
Now I daily see wonderful, wonderful content for that story, both from the creator and the fans. I finally understood what I did wrong. TBoCI was incoherent and messy where Fallen Stars was clean and consistent. I had so much in my mind that I had spilled it all out to One Person, and now there exists only two people in the world who know who the hell Kane is (possibly only one person now)!
What I’m trying to say is, in short, thanks @plushii-gutz . There’s a few factors to me being able to write TBoCI again, but you’re definitely the biggest part of that. Our encounter was a blessing.
And to everyone, please look forward to a much smoother ride. This is a fun one.
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prying-pandora666 · 1 year
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Okay but people are seriously sleeping on the comedy potential for a redeemed Azula.
She canonically likes making jokes and has a wicked sharp wit. She’s also as charismatic as she is socially awkward. Just imagine the possibilities!
——
Katara: Azula, did you stew and eat the reindeer meat my dad was saving!?
Azula: Don’t be ridiculous. I’m a good person now.
Katara: …
Azula: …
Katara: …
Azula: I seared it. I’m not a monster.
——
Sokka: Hey, Azula! Wanna join us in a snow fight?
Azula: Didn’t you learn from the invasion, peasant?
*Proceeds to absolutely DESTROY Sokka’s team by perfectly commanding an army of small children.*
Azula: HAHAHA! I’VE DEFEATED YOU FOR ALL TIME! YOU WILL NEVER RISE FROM THE COLD STING OF HUMILIATION!
Suki: Why do you keep inviting her to play?
Sokka: Honestly? Improves my tactical skills to watch a master.
Azula: TAKE THE PRISONERS TO DINNER! THEY’RE BUYING!
——
Aang: Oh hey, Azula! You’re up early. Would you like to join us for morning meditation and vegetarian dumplings?
Azula: I’d rather die.
Zuko: Azula! That’s rude!
Azula: You’re right. I apologize. I’m a good person now. *ahem* Aang, if you don’t eat some meat, YOU are going to die.
Sokka: FINALLY! SOMEONE SAYS IT!
——
Toph: Boy it sure is awkward around here since Azula joined!
*no one says anything*
Toph: Anyone got any embarrassing stories about baby Zuko?
Azula: DO I!?
Zuko: Why do you hate me, Toph?
——
Zuko: I love you. You know that, don’t you?
Azula: Haha! You love me! You’re stupid!
Aang: We all love you, Azula.
Azula: … *trying not to cry*
Katara: Azula? You okay?
Azula: YOU’RE ALL STUPID!
Sokka: I think I sense a group hug coming on. Toph?
Toph: *cracks knuckles* I’ll hold her down.
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qdbs-writes · 8 months
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How do you think the Cullens would act around a disinterested crush? Maybe they're fated but reader isn't having it lol
(I love your twilight writing btw thank God someone is still doing it 🤤🤤)
ah it has been many moons since I've gotten a twilight request yay!
Cullen Clan Reacting To Their Crush Being Disinterested In Them
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Carlisle Cullen
Being alive for just over 400 years tends to give one a good perspective on life and the bigger picture, and Carlisle sure has a pretty good idea of how all things pan out. So you're not interested in him? That's fine, Carlisle can wait for as long as you need to change your mind.
In the meantime, Carlisle will continue to maintain your friendship and continue to show just how hard he's worked to become the kind caring father figure he is. He knows you'll fall for him, eventually.
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Esme Cullen
Obviously, she's not going to stop caring about you just because you don't return her feelings. But she might switch up how she shows her affection.
Rather than flirty winks and suspiciously candle-lit wine tastings, she'll back up to more traditionally motherly affections. Making sure you're eating right, baking cookies, etc. And of course, giving you homemade soup when you're sick is still one of her favourite things to do, no need to stop now.
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Edward Cullen
Of course, you're not interested, how could anyone love a monster like him? Who did he think he was, thinking he was worthy of your love? Or so his inner monologue goes.
But it's really not that dramatic, it almost never is, Edward just sprung his crush on you suddenly and it caught you off guard. It was largely the excessively long preamble about how he was an irredeemable murderer that put you off first, but of course, he won't realise that until considerably later.
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Rosalie Hale
She's a little relieved actually. All her mortal and immortal life, Rosalie has been aggressively pursued by people she wasn't particularly interested in, so the fact that she can crush on someone who isn't really that interested is a wonderful change of pace.
For the first time ever, Rosalie has butterflies in her stomach, she fumbles with her words when she speaks to you, and she feels like a silly, mortal teenage girl again, begging her mother to let her go to the dance just so she can sneak away to catch a glimpse of someone just like you.
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Emmett Cullen
You and Emmett had been good friends for a while so when he casually drops a blissful "We should get married" into the conversation, you initially choke on your drink in laughter.
Emmett's a little heartbroken that you'd laugh at something like that, considering that he was being 100% serious. But since you've known him, the both of you have been constantly cracking up jokes, trying to get on each other's nerves, so no wonder you thought this was another one of his pranks. He decides to take this reaction as a blessing, you have no idea he's actually into you, now he knows he has to work out a different way to confess his feelings for you.
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Alice Cullen
She's a little confused obviously, having multiple visions of the two of you in a romantic relationship kind of gave her the impression that it might've been going to come true, but your disinterest says something else altogether.
But the worst part is that those damn visions of you and her together keep coming back, taunting her, luring her in deeper to despair with the thoughts of what might be. It's all getting so intense, so she decides to skip town for a bit, see if that changes anything, or at least helps her clear her head.
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Jasper Hale
Oh well, so you're not interested in a romantic relationship, so what? Doesn't mean you can't still be friends. Doesn't mean he can't be the charming Southern gentleman he is. Doesn't mean he can't still pull out chairs or open doors for you. Or send anonymous bouquets to your house. Or leave your favourite snacks in your locker when you're having a rough day. Of course not.
It doesn't mean he can't worry about other people who might want to date you. Doesn't mean he can't scare off people who'd be bad for you. I mean, what else are friends for?
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rboooks · 11 months
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Alfred's Boy: Part 2
Bruce felt his blood pressure rise as Damian shoved another pair of swimming trucks into his cart. His youngest insisted that he needed something flattering, as his previous outfit was "functional but not attractive to the youth of today."
Damian had never cared that he wasn't up to the trends, but that was before Danny moved into the manor. Now he had to wait hours for Damian to find a satisfying outfit, knowing darn well its only because Danny mentioned he was interested in taking a dip in the inner pool.
The boy, technically being staff, felt it was essential to ask permission before taking a swim. Bruce had spent years telling Alfred he had free range over the manor, only to always have the man ask before doing anything. He hopes Danny won't develop the same habit.
He wanted the young man to feel at home with them.
His younger children- who honest to God forgot they even had a pool- had all scrambled to go swimming with Danny. Tim had practically thrown himself over the table to change from his WE suit into his swimming wear, Duke use his grappling hook to zoom up the stairs and Steph begged Cass to lend her a bikini.
Damian remained seated, despairing that his old swimming shorts had been bought by Dick the year previous. Dick had gotten him green shorts with little cats and dogs. Damian- who refused to even go near public pools- wore them to the family pool with no desire to purchase new ones since he saw no point in it.
And now he was paying the price for keeping childish wear. Personally, Bruce thought they were adorable and perfect for his fourteen-year-old son, but being two years younger than Danny gave him a terrible disadvantage, and Damian could not afford falling futher behind.
He just sat there, staring longingly at the retreating back of Alfred's assistant after telling him he had nothing to wear. Danny had told them he could join the rest another time before scurrying away to finish his cleaning of the right wing.
What else could Bruce do besides offering to take him to the nearest outlet mall and get him something nicer?
"Damian are you almost-"
"I am ready, father. Make haste to purchase our wears. Daniel must be finishing his duties, and I wish to get back." His son announced, yanking the cart out of Bruce's hand and practically running to the cashiers.
Bruce sighed.
It's not that he minded his son's crush on a boy or that it was Danny. It just felt like he shouldn't be encouraging his children to try and romance someone going through a lot.
Alfred had forbidden anyone from looking into Danny's background, and he had respected the request. There was a lot Bruce and Batman were willing to do but defying a direct order from Alfred was not one of them.
(Honesty, if Alfred ever turned evil, Bruce's contingency plan for him was simple: Die.)
Danny took his assistant butler job very seriously. Often wearing a neat and pressed suit, finishing his work in record time, well mannered and very intelligent but kept a distance from the family. Alfred also had a small wall of professionalism but he would crack a joke and be in their presence like a grandfather.
Danny only spoke when spoken to, tried to refrain from being notice and basically kept the reminder that while he liked them all he was always going to be a employee first and foremost.
Maybe it was due to his parents? Danny probably couldn't relax until he felt safe once more. Not for the first time, Bruce wondered what type of monsters the Fentons had to be to make a boy capable of discovering the Batcave without so much of a blink, flatter.
"Father!" Damian called impatiently, tapping his foot before the nervous-looking teen who what been attempting to ring him up.
The Wayne's made everyone nervous.
"Yes. Yes. Here put It on my card-" Damian snatched it out of his hand before Bruce even took it out completely from his wallet.
Suddenly his phone rings. Seeing that Damian could handle punching in the Pin, he accepted the call, not bothering to check the screen.
All his children have personalized ringtones, so only one person would cause Gun and Ships from the Hamilton musical to blare from his phone.
"Jason-"
"Bruce!" Jason yells in a wheezing voice "Tim almost drowned!"
What.
"Is he alright!?"
"He's fine!" Jason assures, voice breaking to manic cackling. "He's just really embarrassed. He forgot about the bruise on his back, so when he tried to do cannonballs with Danny, he cramped up. Danny had to help him out of the pool and then lectured him about jumping in the deep end because of peer pressure. He thinks Tim can't swim, Bruce!"
Bruce felt a headache building behind his eyes. "Jason-"
"Wait, wait, there's more! Do you know how Steph never wears bikinis because she is uncomfortable? Danny clocked that as soon as she walked in and offered her the old t-shirt he was wearing. Took it off right then and there, and do you know what Steph did!? She walked into a wall! A wall Bruce!"
"Jason-"
"Duke hasn't stopped staring at Danny. I think his brain is in a permanent blue screen. I'm actually thinking he's-"
"Jason!" Bruce cut in which finally seemed to get his second oldest attention. Don't get him wrong, he was thrilled that Jason was spending so much time around the manor but the constant updates on his children tripping over themselves for Danny was not well for his heart. "I think you need to make sure your siblings give Danny some space. The poor chum might not be comfortable-"
"I'm not helping you stop Danny from finding true love, old man"
Bruce rolled his eyes as his son hung up. He can't wait for school to start up again. Danny will be homeschooled by his own request and Alfred's agreement but at least most of his kids will not be around him as often.
His phone started playing Sk8er Boy and he considered not answering. He really did but honestly his son probably needed him.
With a sigh he presses the accept call button "Tim-"
"He thinks I can't swim Bruce! He banned me from the pool!" Tim sobs and Bruce sees Damian perk up, happy Danny had put distance between one of his suitors ans himself.
Was it too late to ask Alfred if he was sure his contact Clockwork had no where else to foster Danny?
Being Batman on the night all his rouges broke out was easier then this.
( Part 1) (part 3)
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hs-is-loml · 1 year
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Defending. (x.t)
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PART ONE OF TWO
Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x Girlfriend!Reader
Summary: wednesday tells you about her suspicions about xavier but you come to his defense and are determined to find proof to prove her wrong
Warnings: mentions of making a small cut, very little like a drop of blood, hydes? (those ugly mfs) NOT PROOFREAD
a/n: this is going to be in two parts, but part two will be posted late 12/1 or early 12/2 depending on when i finish writing it! it's basically a smut fic for part two which is why i decided to split it up in case people are not comfortable with it!
masterlist - part two
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“Now, this is too far,” you said to Wednesday as she told you about her suspicions about Xavier being the monster.
“All the evidence points to him.”
 “Wednesday, it’s not him.”
“You’re only saying that because you’re in a relationship with him,” the girl argued back with her.
“No shit, Wednesday. I know him enough to know he’s not. You think I wouldn’t notice by now if he were going around town killing people?”
“You’re letting this blind your judgment,” Wednesday stated. 
“NEWS FLASH WEDNESDAY HE’S NOT THE HYDE! WOULD IT KILL YOU THINK FOR ANYONE BUT YOURSELF?!” you yelled at the girl who just raised her eyebrows back at you.
“What are you going to do when you find out he is?”
“Nothing,” you answered softly you could feel a headache coming from yelling, “There’s nothing to find out.” You walked back inside from the balcony and exited the room before you felt like destroying anything, and Enid would get mad at the mess later.
You wandered around the school before you came upon the statute of Edgar Allen Poe. You sat down near the statute wanting to clear your mind for a second before you looked up and realized the mark beneath the book he was holding. You tried to recall what your mom would always tell you as a kid about the Nightshade Society. 
“He was notorious for his riddles. For it was not one alone, but each line was individual. One to remember is, ‘The answer will give a sharp cracking sound,’ that will help you once you find it,” was something she always mentioned when she talked about Nevermore. 
“A sharp cracking sound,” you repeated as you stood from your spot and it clicked, or more so snapped into place. You raised your right arm and snapped two times. “Thank you, Nightshade Society.”
You walked down the staircase into the dimly lit library. The portraits that hung on the wall of old members caught your eye as you looked about the room. At the end of the portraits you find your parents, they tell you to make a name for yourself, but how could you live up to them? 
“You put that bag over my head, I will choke you with that very rope in your hands,” you warned the people who stood behind you as you looked for your mom’s diary knowing that would be the only thing you could find answers in. “You should know to not mess with a witch with heightened senses.”
“Oh, come on, Y/n, we were just trying to have fun,” Kent joked causing the other to mutter in agreement. 
“I WASN’T GOING TO DO ANYTHING I SWEAR,” Xavier yelped once he notice it was you and threw the bag in his hands to Ajax.
“Someone’s in the dog house tonight…” Yoko teased. Kent and a couple of the others gave a couple howls joining in the joke.
“You know Xavier you could’ve told me about this,” you said as you finally found your mother’s diary. 
“Babe, if I could, I would’ve-”
“He’s sworn to secrecy,” Bianca pointed out as she gave you a dirty look when you walked to a desk with the diary in your arms.
You pulled it out to see she sealed it with magic though not any kind of magic, blood magic. “My family was a part of the Nightshades long before you, although I thought it to be disbanded.”
“Yeah, the group kind of lost its charter 30 years ago after some normie kid died,” Xavier explained which answered your thoughts as he walked up to you noticing that you were looking for something. 
“But we have a lot of wealthy alumni, so Weems looks the other way as long as nobody makes any waves,” Yoko added on. 
“What are you looking for anyways?” Xavier questioned you.
“If you’re trying to open your mom’s diary, you can’t,” Bianca told you cockingly. 
“Maybe you can’t,” you retorted just when you noticed a letter opener sitting at the corner of the table. 
You reached over and grabbed it seeing that it had a sharp edge. You noticed from your peripheral vision that the group was crowding around you to see what you were doing. Xavier was right next to you with his attention on the knife you held in your hand. You lifted your right hand over the book and took the knife to your palm just before it touched your skin you heard shouts from around the room.
“Y/N!”
“Woah, girl, no need to prove a point.”
“No need for bloodshed-”
“What are you doing?!”
“No, no, no, no, absolutely not,” you heard Xavier say as he tried to grab for the knife, but it was too late. “Oh my god, only you. Literally, you’re the only one who would do this.”
You sliced the inside of your palm and allowed for the knife to drop down onto the table as you felt the sting in your palm. You closed your fist and put it directly above the lock on the book. You felt the blood sweep down near the bottom of your fist before it dropped down into the lock. 
“Blood magic?” Yoko asked in amazement when she saw the lock unlatch and you opened to the front page that held your mom’s portrait along with her signature. 
“Only the very best for mother dearest,” you remark sarcastically.
“That explains a lot!” Kent said from behind as Xavier looked around for a first aid kit. “Bianca was trying to open that months ago and nothing would work!” right as the words left his mouth, Bianca smacked him in the back of the head causing him to groan in pain, “Well, ow.”
When Xavier finally found a first aid kit that looked like it could be decades old, he went back to your side and held out his palm to you. Putting your sliced palm in his hand without him even having to ask you. 
“I couldn’t find any actual alcohol to disinfect it, so vodka will have to do,” he unscrewed the bottle with one hand and looked back into your eyes before you gave him a slight nod telling him it was okay for him to do it. “This might sting.”
“Oh shit, I can’t watch,” Ajax gagged as the vodka was poured onto your palm and the blood washed away with it. 
“Makes the both of us,” another member said.
“Stop being babies, people would think you’re the one with the cut palm,” you told them off as taking in the pain with no reaction. “At least I have a hot doctor patching me up,” you smirked.
“Only for you,” Xavier muttered as he focused on wrapping the bandage around your hand. At this point, almost all the members already left not wanting to see what you and Xavier get up to.
“Thanks, babe,” giving him a kiss on the cheek before returning your attention back to your mother’s diary. 
“What was so important that you have to look into your mom’s diary?” he asked you. “You’re looking for answers, but for what?”
“Any information about hydes.”
“That’s the monster, Wednesday was talking about right?”
“The same one she believes you to be, yes.” you look up from the diary to see his confused expression.
“Wait, me?” he wondered aloud.
“I told her it wasn’t you though, but that girl is the most stubborn person I have ever met,” you informed him taking one of his hands in your non-injured one to give it a tight squeeze in reassurance. “You have to be careful, I know you’re not the Hyde, but she is going to do everything she can to prove her point.”
“I love you.” he blurted out to you. “You could’ve easily believed her, but you didn’t.”
“I know you, Xavier. There’s no damn way in hell, I’m going to let you be falsely accused for something you so obviously are not,” you stated. “And, I love you, that’s why I’m trying to see if my mother knew anything about Hydes during her time here,” you smiled at him.
You turned to put the diary back onto the desk as you hurriedly flipped through the pages scanning for any kind of information on the damn monster. You were about to turn to another page just before you noticed a name you’ve heard of before. Francois Sylvanne. Xavier moved to stand behind you leaning over your shoulder to read the diary as well. He placed his hands on your hips to steady himself causing you to lean back into him.
“Seems like Wednesday’s little boy toy just got way more interesting,” you pointed to the name on the page for Xavier to read. 
“Who is she?”
“His mother. The same one he goes to therapy for, I heard she died a while back, and apparently the sheriff isn’t only bad at his job but bad at parenting too,” you explained as you read more of your mom’s writing.
There’s something about this girl. She keeps to herself. Quiet. Distance. Truly an Outcast. I have a feeling something is going on with her or at least something will. I’m going to keep a close eye on her, but she is graduating this year.
“Weird, your mom always has good intuition, I wonder if she’s right about this one too,” Xavier said after he read your mother’s entry. 
You flipped through more pages of the book and found nothing. You looked at every line on the pages, and your mother never mentioned her once again. It wasn’t until you got to the last page of the diary to see a quite messier version of your mother’s writing.
THAT GIRL IS A HYDE. FRANCOIS IS A HYDE. HIDDEN AWAY WITH A NORMIE IN THE TOWN. 
“No,” you gaped as you turned to see nothing more and reached the end of the book.
“Do you think Tyler’s the Hyde?” he whispered into your ear.
“It’s the only way. It makes sense too,” you claimed, “But the question is why?” 
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hellenhighwater · 7 days
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In all these years, I've never learned how to tag someone, so I have to come to you directly, to show you the tears on my cheeks because he's sitting so quietly, curled up, watching a world he'll never know through a tiny crack in the wall.
Thank you!
You know, it's a little odd. All of the pieces in this series are about isolation and escape--Icarus, Orpheus and Eurydice, Prometheus, and certainly the Minotaur. But A Crack in the Labyrinth came first, and more than any of the rest, it's about resignation. About having fought and scrabbled and clawed desperately and still...not having made it. Still being trapped inside, alone.
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And when I made it, I hadn't really intended to say anything more than that one piece, but I just couldn't leave it there. I had to give him the whole story--an innocent beginning, same as anyone. I couldn't leave the ending as it was written; I'd initially just intended to have the conclusion the myth gives him, slain by Theseus, but...if I'm going to say, "I'm the minotaur, monstrous and alone and told by the world that that is right and deserving," then I am also saying "you, who feels deeply for this, for whom this resonates, you are also the minotaur and we are monsters who deserve the ending that is written for us." And I...just can't bear to. There has to be hope.
So there is, very literally, light at the end of the labyrinth, one way or another.
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Anyways, I used this song for that photoset on the clock app, but I think you would also enjoy it. Cow Boy, take us away.
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ravenromanova · 8 months
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Mine
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Pairings: Bucky x Female avenger
Warnings: Mentions of self deprecating, Sharon carter (she’s always a warning) Smut 18+ (breeding kink, metal arm kink, daddy kink, fingering, oral, p in v)
Summary: Bucky cant stand the thought of his girl flirting with someone else other than him.
Word count: 3.3k+
Main masterlist - Send me requests!!!
If looks could kill let’s just say John walker would’ve been dead the second Bucky saw you with him. Was it Bucky’s place to be jealous? No especially after he broke off your little fling a few weeks ago. But that doesn’t stop him from getting jealous at the sight of his girl with that insect.
You had been flirting and talking with walker for the past hour much to your displeasure. In all reality the only reason you had even came up with this plan in the first place, was to piss off a certain super soldier. He deserved it after he had broken your heart and left you a broken mess of a person. So even though you despised walker you flirted as if you loved the man.
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*Flash back to two weeks ago*
You had just come back from a three week long mission and you were exhausted. But you were also really excited to see Bucky again. You and him and started kinda seeing each other a few months ago. At first it wasn’t much other than just sex but it quickly became more than that… at least for you.
When you had gotten back to the compound you immediately went to take a shower before going to see him. You had done all your normal things before you slipped into Bucky’s favorite black lingerie set of yours on. Once you were satisfied with how you look you sauntered over to Bucky’s room on the same floor.
You softly knocked on the door and heard a soft ‘come in’. When you opened the door you saw him sprawled out on his bed in nothing but sweatpants.
“Hello solider” Your voice was seductive as you crawled on his bad and straddled him. Bucky didn’t say anything as you sit on his lap he didn’t even touch you like normal. A frown formed on your face at his lack of affection. What came next surprised you as well as broke your heart. Bucky put his hands on your waist and moved you off of him.
“Not in the mood Y/n” He said harshly as he sat on the edge of his bed with his back to you. Your heart tightened at his words and you felt like your world just came crashing down.
“Did something happen? Are you okay my love” The words came out a little more shaky then you would’ve liked as you spoke. You sat next to time and tried to hold his metal hand and he ripped it away from you. Tears formed in your eyes as he stood up and got off the bed leaving you there alone.
“Did i do something?” Your voice cracked and he turned to look at you. His demeanor was stiff and his eyes are dark. He scoffed as he looked at you and ran his hand through his long hair.
“You’re just too much” Bucky blurted out and that’s when the dam broke and the tears fell.
“What?” You choked out as you covered your mouth to muffle the sobs.
“You’re too much for me and i cant do this anymore” The bluntness of his words cut you deep. In that moment you didn’t know what to say or do so you just left his room in tears. You ran to your room and locked the door. You didn’t know what to think or feel all you knew is that you were broken.
What you didn’t see though was how Bucky broke down when you left the room. Truthfully you weren’t too much and he knew that. The reason he broke it off was because no other than Sharon got in his head. She had come up to him after you left for your mission asking him what you two were. He responded with ‘we are just hanging out for now. But when she gets back im making it official.’ To which Sharon scoffed.
She proceeded to tell him that if he thinks a sweet and innocent girl like you, would love a man like him that he was insane. Sharon went on for fifteen grueling minutes about how much of a monster he was and you deserved better. And he believed it and so that night he swore to himself that he’d step away from you. No matter how much it hurt he couldn’t break you and taint you.
And that was the last time you had spoke for two weeks
*End flashback*
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That day haunts Bucky like a ghost haunting its old home. He knew he had hurt you by what he did. But in his mind he did the best thing he could for you he set you free. It’s not that he thought he was a bad person now he knew he wasnt, it was his past. Bucky thought that if you truly knew all the evil things he had done like Sharon said then you wouldn’t love him anymore.
His time in Hydra was awful and the things they made him do were worse. How could anyone move past that? How could anyone love the broken man he’d become? How could you love him?
Bucky’s self deprecating thoughts were cut off as he saw walker get a little too close. He had placed his hand on your waist and brought you in closer to him. That simple and small movement was enough for the solider to see red. He knew he shouldn’t, he knew he had no place but he wasnt thinking clearly as he approached you and walker.
He was silent as he approached but you noticed him out of the corner of your eye. You can see the metaphorical daggers he is shooting to the man in front of you. You dont pay Bucky any mind as you continue your conversation smirking ‘cause you know what lies ahead.
He comes up behind you and wrap his metal arm around your waist. A smirk is quick to form on your lips as your turn around to face the solider.
“Can i help you James?” You ask playing dumb looking at with dumbly. His hands find your hips and he squeezes them and brings you closer.
“Мой” (mine) He husks out in russian and you smirk up at him. You both are quickly reminded that John is still present when you hear him clear his throat.
Bucky looks up at walker and shoots him a look that tells him to get lost. John doesn’t say anything as he just grabs his drink, nods and walks away.
“Это был довольно грубый солидер. Я был в середине разговора” (That was quite rude solider, I was in the middle of a conversation) The words are taunting as they come out and you earn a grunt in response. He doesn’t say anything as he takes your hand and leads you away from the party.
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His grip on your wrist is firm but not hard since he doesn’t wanna hurt his girl..yet. Bucky leads you up the stairs and down the hallway to his room. You don’t have time to ask what he’s doing as you’re suddenly pressed against his door.
“Bucky wait-“ You breathe out as his hips find their way to your neck. He doesn’t stop as you weakly plead.
“Bucky stop-“ And that’s what gets him to stop what he’s doing and back away a little too worried of hurting you or scaring you.
“What? What happened?” He asks almost as if you two hooking up is still normal. You look and him and roll your eyes before even attempting to speak.
“What do you mean what?” You scoff at him as you sit on the edge of his bed looking up at him. “You tell me i’m too much and that you dont want me but then go and do some shit like this” Tears form in your eyes out of frustration and Bucky looks like he’s just been stabbed.
“Doll- i know i fucked up” He sighs and he gets on his knees in front of you. “I pushed you away and made you think i didn’t want you because i was scared” His hands land on your soft thighs and then he softly kisses your inner thigh. “I was scared that you wouldn’t be able to love me for my past, That the things i’ve done would turn you away from me” His words come out a little broken as his blue eyes meet your gaze.
“It also didn’t help that i had someone telling me i wasnt good enough for you” Rage filled your veins at his confession.
“Who” You cut him off before he got the rest of his words out. His grip tightens on your thigh as he lets out a deep breath.
“Sharon, She had asked me what we were when you had left for the three week long mission. Short story short when i told her i planned on making us official when you got back she told me that you deserved better. That you might think im a good person now until you heard about the things i was forced to do. She also made a comment about the arm” His eyes move to his metal arm as he makes a fist with it.
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Anger, Sadness and Love fill your body as he finishes speaking. Anger because Sharon really thought that this beautiful man was a monster. Sadness because he believed her words and thought he was a monster. And love because this was the first time he has ever been vulnerable and open like this with you.
You reach your hands out and cup his cheeks and bring him up to your face. “I dont think you’re a monster. Then or now. I think you’re the most beautiful soul in the world Bucky. I wish you would’ve told me about this because i would’ve put all those fears to bed. I know some of the things you did in Hydra. But i also know that you didn’t have a choice, that you didn’t want to do those things” Nothing but love and honesty laces your voice as you speak.
Bucky looks at you like he just might melt at your words. He finds the courage to slowly close the gap between you two with a passionate kiss. All the love you two have for on another is poured into this one kiss.
After a few minutes you break the kiss and come up for air as you both pant. “And as for the arm” You say grabbing the dark grey and gold arm and smile at it. “Is the sexiest thing i think i’ve ever seen” His metal arm whirs as he makes a fist and grunts at your words.
“Dont say things like that Malysh” He husks against your lips. You get a surge of confidence and grab his metal hand and place it on your inner thigh.
“Why not?” The faux innocence drips off your tongue as you look at with with doe eyes. You can feel the grip of his metal hand tighten on your thigh as you groans. What you don’t know is he is fighting an internal battle right now. A part of him wants to absolutely devour you and the other part doesn’t want to hurt you and wants to cherish you.
“Because i wont be able to control myself if you continue” He says honestly as all traces of self control slowly fade away as you grip his hand.
“What if i dont want you to? What if i want you to ruin me solider?” And that’s all the needs before his head is dipping under your dress and slipping off your panties.
He lifts your dress to your hips before he dips his tongue into your wet folds. His hands spread your pussy and focuses on sucking your clit which had you screaming.
“oh fuck-“ You moan as Bucky picks up his pace and sucks at a faster pace. He looses himself in the way that you taste. Bucky eats your pussy as if he’s never eaten before, They way he devours you can only be described as feral.
“fuck i’ve missed your pussy malysh” He moans into your clit as he slowly adds two fingers into you.
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“i’ve missed you daddy” You mewl as his fingers hit that spongey in you when he curls his fingers up. Bucky smirks at you as you moan and picks up his pace as he fucks his fingers into you.
“you’re mine” He grunts and brings his face up to yours. “You hear me malysh? You’re fucking mine. No one else’s. This pussy is mine and so are you” As he finishes his sentence that’s when you claw at his back and scream as you hit your climax.
“Fuck yes im yours!” You say as you try to catch your breath. He smiles he leans in and kisses you with more passion that earlier. You moan as you taste yourself on his tongue. The kiss goes on for what feels like forever until Bucky breaks it and looks at you.
His hands rub up and down your sides and he grows frustrated that you’re still in your dress. So Bucky being Bucky rips your dress off of you and leaves you naked at the edge of his bed.
“Much better” He smirks and then rids himself of his own clothes. Your eyes widen and your mouth waters at the sight of his hard cock standing at attention. He motions for you to lay against the headboard and you do as your told and wait for his next instruction.
“Now im gonna remind you who you belong to malysh.” He husks as he crawls over to you and hovers over you. You eagerly nod your head and slowly take his cock in your hand. His head flys back at the contact and he lets out a guttural moan.
You pump his cock a few times before he stops you and pushes himself in you without warning. “OH FUCK!” The moan comes out broken as it passes your lips. He bottoms out quickly but he doesn’t move as he waits for you to adjust to his size.
“move” You whisper as you pull his face towards you and place your lips on his. Bucky wraps his arms around your neck and thrusts into you at a medium pace. The both of you moan in satisfaction when he moves against your g-spot.
“You feel so good baby, i almost forgot what is like being in this pretty little pussy” His words are filthy as they come out and you can help but be even more turned on.
He continues to thrust into you and kiss your g-spot with the tip of his cock every thrust. Bucky dips his head down and grabs a nipple and starts sucking as he thrusts get harder.
“Yes-yes oh fuck” The moan that comes out of your mouth is straight out of a porno. He doesn’t say anything as he takes his metal hand as wraps it around your throat and lightly squeezes. Your mind goes blank and fuzzy as the pleasure builds in your stomach.
“Fucking shit babydoll i can feel you squeezing my cock. Keep doing that and im gonna fill you up and fuck a baby in you.” His words unlock something in you as he speaks. Were you aware of your breeding kink before? no. But you sure as hell love the idea of carrying his kids.
“Do it. Fuck a baby into me daddy” You egg him on as you feel yourself about to cum again.
“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you baby? You’d love to carry your soldiers seed wouldn’t you? You’d love to be my breeding whore wouldn’t you?” His questions are clearly rhetorical but you nod your head in response not being able to form words right now.
“Fuck baby im gonna cum” He moans as his pace starts to get sloppier and you get closer and closer to your high.
“FUCK!” You scream as you cum all over his cock. That’s when he grabs your hips and fucks you relentlessly as he reaches his high.
“Oh fuck malysh gonna fucking fill you up.” He moans as he finishes inside of you. But he doesn’t stop fucking you as he fucks his cum into you since he really does want to get you pregnant.
“Too sensitive” You protest as he grinds his hips into you. He stops his movements and nods his head then slowly pulls out of you and you whimper at the loss.
“You did so good baby. just sit here for a minute okay?” And then Bucky leaves you on the bed real quick while he grabs a cold cloth to clean you off with. When he comes back he sees you sprawled out on his bed and smiles softly.
“Come here baby” He say as he gets in between your thighs and uses the wet cloth to clean you up. You squirm as the cold hits your core but you soon relax and enjoy the feeling of him cleaning you.
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Once he’s done he throws the rag on the floor and moves to put you both under the covers. He pulls you to him so you are laying in his chest. You absentmindedly grab his metal hand and start playing with it and watching the light of the moon bounce off it.
“It really is beautiful” The words are barley audible as you say them but he heard them and smiled. He feels all his worries and fears melt away as he looks at you.
“Y/n?” He asks softly as his blue eyes look at you with anxiety.
“Yes my love?” Bucky’s cheeks go bright red at the pet name and he tries to compose himself before responding.
“I know i fucked up and i know that i dont deserve it but will you give me another chance and officially be my girl?” His nerves are starting to get the best of him as you just look at him for a moment.
“Of course i will solider” In that moment Bucky feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders as you respond. He leans your head up and kisses you in a soft and loving manner. When he breaks the kiss he just looks down at you with love and admiration.
“I love you doll” Your eyes widen at his confession not because it was too soon or anything but because he’s never said that to you before. Your heart melts at his words and your eyes fill with tears.
“I love you too solider” You whisper the words against is lips before you kiss him again.
And the rest of that night was filled with showing one another just how much love the other had. Bucky smiled down at you after you had fallen asleep and just admired you for a while before he fell asleep as well. He felt at peace with you in his arms again and he vowed to himself that he’d never hurt or let you go again.
~ Little bonus scene~
The next morning when you had woken up you were on a mission. And luckily for you your target was very easy to find. You walked into the kitchen in one of Bucky’s henley’s and walk up to your target. It took both you and her by surprise when you had pushed her up against a wall and held her by her neck.
“You ever disrespect him again and i will not hesitate to kill you and hide the body somewhere they will never find it” You spat as Sharon just stared at you with wide eyes. She immediately nodded and once you out her down she was gasping for air.
“crazy bitch” She coughed out as she rubbed her neck to soothe the pain. You smirked at her before walking back to Bucky’s room and slipping back in bed with him as if nothing ever happened.
~the end~
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I do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other cites
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reythenerdypisces · 2 months
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things that I overlooked in PJO the first time / small, funny things I noticed during my reread
Part 1: The Lightning Thief
All I could think of was that the teacher's must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. oh he was one of those guys
"I believe that was question 38 on your final exam..." He [Chiron] looked at me as if he actually expected me to remember question 38. once a teacher always a teacher
A strange fire burned in my stomach. The weirdest thing was: it wasn't fear. It was anticipation. The desire for revenge. We got a hint of dark Percy in book 1
I'd been afraid he [Luke] might resent me for getting so much attention the last few days. But here he was giving me a magic gift... It made me blush almost as much as Annabeth. tell me again this boy did not have a crush on Luke
The game ended when I tossed the apple toward Grover and it got too close to his mouth. In one mega goat bite, our Hacky Sack disappeared - core, stem, and all. Grover blushed. He tried to apologise, but Annabeth and I were too busy cracking up. I love moments of them being able to just be kids
She [Annabeth] loved reading so much, I'd forgotten she was dyslexic, too. I think the fandom forgets this too
Annabeth muttered to me, "Circus caravan?" "Always have a strategy, right?" Percy is so smart and so good at thinking on his feet, I'm tired of the fandom treating him like he's dumb
I was feeling satisfied after the burger, and a little sleepy, and I figured the least I could do was try to make small talk with our hostess. He's so sweet. Even if the host was Medusa
"I hate Australia! Naming that ridiculous animal after me [Echidna]." As someone currently living in Australia, this cracked me up.
I whistled. "You have evil thoughts for a goat." "Why, thank you." I love Grover and Percy and their friendship, very under appreciated
"I'm Crusty," he said, with a tartar-yellow smile. I resisted the urge to say, Yes you are. he's hilarious
A steely look of anger flared in my mother's eyes, and I thought, just maybe, I was leaving her in good hands after all. Her own. I also love Sally Jackson
that's all, I'll be back for sea of monsters :)
734 notes · View notes
woahjo · 2 months
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The People We Became (Bakugou x Reader)
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masterlist | ao3
Pairing: Bakugou x Reader
Summary: Zombie Apocalypse Au.
The world fell apart almost a year ago and you refused to go with it. Left alone and to your own devices in a world full of monsters, where the dead come back to life, you believe that maybe surviving isn't living.
When Katsuki finds you alone in the woods and on the precipice of collapsing from exhaustion, he decides to bring you back to the house his group calls home. Against your better judgement and hesitancy to become attached, you decide to stay. In this world, everyone has lost someone. No soul is spared the violence, and you start sleeping with Bakugou Katsuki to dull the ache. Somehow, peace finds you anyway, but not without sacrifice.
Chapter Content Warnings:  fem!reader, gender neutral pronouns, strangers to lovers, violence typical of zombies, blood, gore, romance, slow-ish burn (for the emotional stuff), angst, kissin', questions of identity, loss, grief, graphic depictions of death and/or violence, mentions and descriptions of starvation/exhaustion typical of an apocalypse setting, very slight implications of possible sexual violence typical of an apocalypse setting, derealization, depersonalization, weapons (guns, blades, and traps), loss of identity
All content warnings can be found on ao3 with the rest of the series.
Word Count: 14.4k — 53k total on ao3
A/N: it's finally done... i'm sweating. i screamed. i cried. i bled. you know the drill. i am posting this a little differently than my other fics and series. only the first chapter will be posted here on tumblr (this post), with the rest of it broken up into chapters and posted on ao3.. purely because it was originally meant as a one shot and i don't like posting chapters on tumblr. it's not built for that and im tired. anyway, im nervous this is my new baby and im pretty sure my soul is somewhere in here. if u read this, pls come tell me what you think.. it fuels me. enjoy, cry, sweat, or whatever else you do when you read. as always, thank you and i love you.
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Two hundred and seventy six. It’s been two hundred and seventy six days since the world completely went to shit. You don’t really count the initial outbreak. The initial outbreak was relatively contained once people found out about it. You quarantined. You stayed inside. All it really took were a handful of idiots. Someone selfish. Someone who panicked and ran instead of facing the world honorably, and that was it. It only took days to lose almost every semblance of a normal life and a week to lose everything else. 
The light of your fire is dim, embers burning low as you sit in a foldable chair beside it. The chair is from a friend, someone you’re not with anymore and who went somewhere you couldn’t follow, and you've got a metal spatula in your hand. You're not sure why you grabbed it when you fled, but panic does weird things to the mind. You absentmindedly wonder why you’ve brought it along with you all this time. There’s no logical reason for you to tote the thing around. A friend had told you how strange it was that you thought to toss it into your bag and continue carrying it. This, along with a few other oddities, are all you managed to take from your house when the world fell to ruin. Everything else are things scavenged along the way or from people you'd met, joined, and lost. 
Maybe it’s because the spatula is somewhat normal, like somehow when you cook the game on your makeshift tin over your shitty fire, you can pretend you’re in your kitchen. A smash burger sounds good right now, with grilled onions on a brioche bun like the ones from the place by your apartment. 
The night is near silent and trees creak and crack like the hulls of great ships under heavy pressure, but the birds don't sing and nothing in the crowded wood you're taking shelter in makes a sound. Well, except for you and the gentle crackle of your fire. 
It’s easy to miss the noise that used to irritate you when the world goes quiet. You used to hate the sounds and lights of passing trucks when they’d cross on the street below your apartment window. Now, you’d do anything for the familiar comfort. The world is so dark and quiet, like it’s holding its breath and waiting for this to be over. The silence is almost too much, so loud that it hurts your ears. You huddle closer to the fire, craving its quiet sound. Focusing on it lessens the anxiety of the other noises. The ones you don’t want to hear. 
Your head is on a swivel. It has been for months. Ever since the outbreak, ever since the dead rose and began consuming and infecting the living, you've kept watch. A paranoid, never ending cycle that you suppose—if left on your own—will burn itself out. You swallow thick and return your attention to the fire, watching the tree line just in front of you for any hint of movement or monsters. 
A branch cracks just behind you. A swift sound, followed by rapid footsteps. You stand, quickly turning your head, only to see a figure a few feet away from you. They move quickly and the dancing light of the fire obscures their features from view. Their eyes, most importantly. You can always tell if someone is dead or alive based on their eyes and the sounds that their joints make. In this light, should this stranger have that milky white film over them, you wouldn't be able to tell. 
You make a small noise, something between a whimper and a shout, as the person comes to a stop in front of you and holds a flashlight directly into your face. You squint, panic in your veins as your eyes adjust as best they can to the sudden assault. It takes you a moment to realize that there is a gun pointed directly at your forehead. The living. This person is alive. You're not sure yet if encountering one of the dead would have been worse. 
"Shut up and drop your weapon," he says in a hurried voice. It's aggressive and threatening. It comes from deep in his chest, like somehow fear has gripped and mutilated it into something violent. 
You raise your shaky hands to your head quickly at the order, screwing your eyes shut in the beam of the flashlight. 
"It's not a weapon!" you shout, voice cracking. "It's a spatula. It's a spatula." 
The words are rushed and heavy, fear seizing your chest as you look down the barrel of the gun. The flashlight turns off, sending you back into the dark. Your eyes fight to adjust, catching the firelight that glints off of the barrel, and you begin to makeout the man’s features. He's big, blonde under the grime, you think. A man, not the best thing to encounter alone at night in times like these. 
You see him hesitate for a moment, eyes darting between you and the silver kitchen item in your hand. You drop it quickly, hoping to appeal to his humanity. 
"Do you have a weapon on you?" he questions, voice a little less urgent. 
You shake your head in response and then shakily look beside the chair, choking out the word “ground”. There's a knife there and a pistol with no bullets. You're a poor shot and you had run out of ammo the previous week. He glances at it, the gun still raised at you, and sidesteps to grab the two items. When he does, he cautiously lowers the weapon and you start to lower your trembling hands. 
Then, as if struck by some realization, the man stomps towards the fire and you jump as he does.
"The fuck are you doing lighting a fire this late?" he says angrily, opening the clip of your pistol. "And with no fucking bullets. Those things may be dead, but they can still fuckin' see. That's a good way to get yourself killed." 
He stomps out the fire as he talks, urgently stamping out what's left of the low-burning logs. 
"I didn't think there were many in the area," you justify, furrowing your eyebrows as you step away from him. 
"And that's a risk you want to take?" he says indignantly. You wonder briefly what business he has worrying about you. 
"What do you want?" you snap, "My food? Weapons? Life? What is it?" 
The man scoffs, "Jesus, none of that. I don’t want your shit." 
You narrow your eyes and take a step back. One thing this world has done is remove trust from every chance encounter, and that was already hard enough when the place was sane. 
"Not all people who camp out in the woods are good," he says. "But I sure as shit didn't expect to find someone like you alone lighting a damn fire. Stupid." 
"There were others," you say indignantly, like somehow that makes it better. "Force of habit, I guess." 
The man pauses for a moment as understanding passes between the two of you. It's a relatable feeling. Everyone has lost someone now. 
"Got a name?" he asks. 
You hesitate in giving it to him and the pause causes him to roll his eyes. “You want me to call you Idiot-with-no-bullets instead?” 
You give him your name and the man nods as if he likes the sound of it, turning it over in his head before inhaling. 
"I'm Katsuki," he furrows his eyebrows. "You're alone?" 
You nod, swallowing down the grief that pushes at your throat. 
"Wasn't always," you respond, "but yeah. Now, I am." 
He nods his understanding. 
"Come with me." 
"Where?" you say instinctively, a defensive edge to your voice. Katsuki looks at you as if you’re stupid, or maybe it's pity, like you're a wounded animal. Probably both. 
"Where the fuck do you think?" he retorts. "We've got a camp a little ways from here. I saw your fire from the watch post we have stationed." 
You look at him like he's a little crazy for even thinking to bring you. Kindness, especially the selfless type, is so rare now and you find it difficult to believe that he’s willing to take you there at no cost. 
He scoffs and rolls his head over his shoulder. "Look, we've got men and women," then he pauses. "Used to have children. We're not gonna hurt you. World's gone to shit, do you really wanna keep at it alone?" 
He's probably right. You've been alone for weeks now, exhausted for longer, and though your common sense tells you not to go off with a strange man in this kind of world, the promise of rest is far too tempting. You nod and glance back to your camp. A measly collection of supplies haphazardly put together. You suppose that it doesn’t look so promising. 
"We'll come back for it when it's light," he says. "I don't know about you, but I'd rather not spend longer in these dark ass woods than I have to." 
"Okay," you say. The presence of another person both sets you on edge and makes you feel the press of fatigue even more. A gun's barrel on your nose followed by the promise of safety and you're going with him? You must be stupider than a horror movie protagonist. "Do you take in a lot of strays?" 
Katsuki looks over his shoulder and you think you see him smile a little at the phrase. 
"If that's what you want to call it," he says begrudgingly. Then, with a softer tone of voice, barely noticeable with the quiet whisper you both have been speaking at. "I'm sure the others won't mind one more."
You nod a little and follow him through the wood, stepping over obstacles. Your eyes have adjusted to the dark, but you feel unsteady on your feet. Everything you’ve ever learned about this world tells you that maybe you shouldn’t go with him. What if they’re dangerous? It’s easy to lie about women and children, about a community that doesn’t exist. Or worse, it’s easy to fool yourself that where you are is good, but you don’t know yet if he’s the type to delude himself. He doesn’t seem it. 
The two of you walk for what feels like forever, even if it is only a little over half a mile. Your feet have been aching for days and every step you take feels like a blade into the heel. Katsuki seems steady, his gun secured at his hip and a large knife in his dominant hand. He doesn’t have the flashlight out, but he seems sure-footed and takes every step in stride, as if he’s too heavy to be swayed by any missed step. 
As you move, you can barely make out his back in the white tank top he wears. You use it as a landmark, following the glowing white as it catches the light from the moon. Like chasing a ghost through the trees. 
Then, the wood eases up. The trees grow sparse and the suffocating humidity of the forest eases into a more breathable, open-air breeze. Katsuki steps out into a clearing. It’s relatively small, for how large the world is, but it’s some of the most open space you’ve seen in a while. The feeling of stepping out into the tall grass, where you’re both visible to any wandering thing, sends a rush of fear through you. 
By the edge of the clearing, there’s a small house with a short steeple. It almost looks like a Christian church, but you get the sense that it’s likely a barn. That must be the watchtower and you wonder just how good the view of the forest is from up there if Katsuki managed to see the light of your fire. How many other people had seen your fires over the weeks and not made it out to confront you? How close had you come before to safety or annihilation? 
"Hey!" a girl's voice calls. "He's back!" 
In the near distance, you can see a large and dimly lit house. It looks a little worn down, but soft and hardly noticeable light emanates from it in a way that makes it seem inviting.You can’t make out its exact silhouette and night blurs just how broken-down it is, but you can tell that people live there in the same way you can tell when someone has just left a room. 
Someone runs across the field to you both. It looks like a man and a woman, maybe around Katsuki's age. They move quickly through the tall grass and for a moment, the urgency that they move with frightens you. You worry that your presence will ignite some protective sort of panic. You linger back, letting Katsuki grow a little farther from you as they call out to him. 
“Yeah, yeah," he half-shouts, no longer seeming to care about keeping quiet. Guess that's what happens when there's a group. "I found the fire I mentioned." 
The two come to a stop in front of him, resting their hands on their hips as they catch the breath they lost. 
"We started to get a little worried," says the girl. She's pretty, with big eyes and curly hair that looks like it probably used to be dyed. "You've been gone for a while." 
"Well, I'm back," he says. 
"And you brought a friend," the other man says, sounding shocked. His tone is noticeably kind. The boisterous type of kind and when he smiles, you can see that he has sharp canines. His hair is straight, sticking out in different directions, and tinged with red in this light.
"More like an acquaintance," Katsuki says. “I found them in the woods with a fire and an empty clip. Felt like their blood would be on my hands if I didn’t bring them back.” The red-haired man gives him a telling look and Katsuki scoffs in response and turns to the girl. "Get them settled, Mina, will you?" The girl called Mina nods and Katsuki takes off toward the house without another word. 
"You're lucky," she says, pausing when you flinch as she steps closer. "You're gettin' the last solo room in the place. Kirishima, is it set up?" 
Kirishima shrugs his shoulders. "You'd have to ask Izuku. He'd know all about that, but I can go check." 
Mina shakes her head and turns her attention to you, giving you a quick once over with her eyebrows pulled together.
"You must be tired.” 
When you nod, she gives you an empathetic smile and motions for you to come with her. "We'll fix that. You hungry?" 
"What do you think?" you manage, saliva pooling in your mouth. "Do you have food?" 
"Plenty," she smiles. "not quite enough for leftovers just yet though, don’t tell anyone." 
You smile awkwardly. Who on earth would you tell? 
"Sounds like a good deal," you say. 
You follow Mina up to the house. Around it, there are a few parked cars. They look like they could pull out at any moment, and through the dust covered windows, you can just make out supplies in the back seats as you pass. In the distance, you can see the fuzzy silhouette of the barn you’d assumed was a watchtower in the dark of the field and you figure that maybe it used to be a place to keep livestock. 
Mina doesn't say much to you as you pass through the field, and when you walk into the door, the first thing you notice is a large group of people seated at a dining table. They all look up at you when you enter and it's with a bit of shock that you register their faces as healthy. Well, healthier. These people live well. Something stirs in your chest, both anxiety and excitement at the thought of possibly having found somewhere safe. They blink at you for a moment, exchanging looks that all end up landing on Katsuki. 
"This is the group. Well, most of us," Mina says pleasantly and with a light huff. "That's Izuku, Denki, Ochako, Sero, and you already know the handsome guy on the end there. Kiri's probably checking to see if the room is half decent.." They all greet you with a glad murmur. "Group, this is..." 
She looks at you expectantly. When you tell them your name, you can't help but look at Katsuki who already knows it. He raises his eyebrows unconsciously and turns his attention to the glass in front of him. 
There’s an awkward pause as you stand in the doorway, suddenly conscious of just how dirty you must look. Remnants of an older world, you suppose. No one really worries about things like that anymore.
“Uhm…” you search for something to say, but your people skills seem to have left you. 
“You’re okay,” Mina says lightly. “Plenty of time to get to know you when you’ve rested and had something to eat.” 
Mina sits you down at a chair that she pulls in from the other room. It doesn't match the other ones in the dining room, but you suppose no one is really thinking of the decor in their house anymore. It's only now that you realize the house has electricity.
"You have power?" you say incredulously, looking at the center light in the dining room on its low setting. 
"Mhm," Mina hums as she sits down next to you and spoons a helping of vegetables onto your plate. "It's got a generator. We got lucky finding this place. I don't think many of us would be alive if we hadn't." 
Those listening in the group nod their affirmation. 
"It draws from well water too," she adds. "With the right care, the place practically runs on its own. Hard work but what isn't nowadays?" 
“Like you do any of the heavy lifting," Sero scoffs across from her.
"That's not fair," Katsuki adds with a slick smirk, "you know damn well none of our vegetables would be so well socialized if she didn't use them like a damn diary all day." 
The group laughs a little and Mina rolls her eyes and sits back in the chair. You avoid looking at anyone, shoveling the food into your mouth. You’re salivating an almost embarrassing amount, struggling to eat at a normal pace. There’s something about food cooked inside, about the way food tastes when you can smell it wafting in from the kitchen. 
"Don't worry," she turns to you, as if you’re at all concerned with the implication that she doesn’t do much work, "they know we’d hardly have vegetables at all if it weren't my job to tend them. I used to garden quite a bit before all of this." 
Sero tosses her a sideways glance and you get the sense that maybe it isn’t just her doing it. 
"Mina does a lot of the garden stuff," Ochako pitches in, her voice hesitant. "We all sort of just do what we can." 
You can’t really keep up with the conversation and instead just blink at her for a moment before turning back to your food. Maybe that’s rude, but you don’t have the energy to consider it. There’s food in front of you. Food that doesn’t taste like it’s been poorly slaughtered or rotting in a cabinet for months. 
The group at the table with you shifts back into what you feel is their normal conversation and you watch them through your peripheral. You can’t relax yet, maybe you never will. Always on watch with your guard up. 
They pass the dishes around the table, plates going from hand to hand over mismatched sets of silverware. The action feels strange to you. Your chest squeezes at the thought. Just a few weeks ago, you’d done this around a fire with the people you loved. You’d passed a too-hot-to-touch pot around a circle of friends, laughing quietly at the little moments of joy you could find. It feels far away now and jealousy rouses beside hope as you sit. 
“So, where did you come from?” Izuku at the end of the table asks. 
It takes you a moment to realize that he’s talking to you and there’s an edge to his voice that has everyone at the table sitting up with curiosity. You stare at him for a moment, exhausted and defeated and unable to muster the words. 
“Leave them be,” Katsuki says, looking up from his plate. “They just got here. They’re probably freaked out.” 
The table goes a little quiet, a hush falling over it. You look around as glances are exchanged before Mina stands up quickly and quietly claps her hands together. 
“I think,” she says with an awkward laugh, “it may be time for bed.” 
Mina turns to you. “I’ll show you where you can sleep.” 
You nod, standing up and turning to the group with furrowed eyebrows. You want to thank them, to tell them that you’re grateful for the meal and their kindness, but the words don’t come. Instead, you meet Katsuki’s gaze, grateful for the intervention, but suspicious at such forthcoming kindness. He scoffs a little and turns away. 
“It’s just up here,” Mina says as she guides you through the house.
You pass rooms with their doors ajar. They are lived in, with unmade beds and glasses of clean water on nightstands. It’s like something out of a life gone by, with a few less amenities. You can imagine a family moving through this house. Girls in school uniforms calling through the halls about a stolen hair clip. Now, you picture these people doing that. Living and not just surviving.
“The bathroom is across the hall,” she says. “You can take a shower if you want. I’ll leave a towel and some clothes in there just in case.”  
You nod. 
“No worries if you don’t,” Mina adds in a whisper. “When I first met everyone, I didn’t undress to bathe for days so… take your time. We won’t be offended.” 
She shuts the door behind her when she leaves and you stumble back onto the bed, shocked by just how soft it feels after spending weeks on the floor. It’s not much, but it’s nicer than anything you’ve experienced in the last nine months, and there's a working shower. You haven’t had a shower since everything fell apart and the layer of grime on your skin is so thick that you can feel it. You haven’t felt safe enough to properly wash since you’d lost the rest of your group, only stopping to rinse your body in streams you pass if the thought occurred to you. The idea of running water and a shower is near euphoric. 
You probably shouldn’t. It may not be wise to shower tonight. You still don’t know these people or what they’re capable of, but the temptation of being clean is too great and as soon as you hear Mina close the bathroom door and walk away, you hurry across the hall on the balls of your feet. 
The bathroom looks old and the sink is white porcelain, eggshell now with a lack of care. The shower has a bathtub in it and though it’s cloudy, there’s a mirror over the sink where you catch the first clear glimpse you’ve had of yourself in weeks. 
You don’t know who you’re looking at. The person in the mirror is nearly unrecognizable. Their eyes are wide and frightened, wild like an animal’s, and their face is covered in a layer of grime that looks like it can never be washed out. Their hair is unruly, sticking out in some areas and matted down with blood in others. This is a person you’ve never seen or met before. Someone you would have avoided only a year ago if you’d ever encountered them. 
You reach up to touch your face, running your hand over the dried blood that has made a home on the underside of your jaw. How long has it been there? Have you always looked so unwell? So sick in mind and body? The promise of a shower grows unbearably pleasant. 
The knob squeaks when you turn it, screeching as the pipes hum and clang to life. Water spits out in a few bursts before raining down from the faucet and hitting the back of the tub in a steady thrum. It sounds a little bit like music to you, constant and heavy, and it gives the impression of normalcy as you begin undressing. 
The fabric of your clothes sticks to your skin, peeling from your body in an unbearable and disgusting way. You don’t look at your body in the mirror. In fact, you avoid it entirely. Not recognizing your face was enough, but your body—a part of yourself you never really recognized—would drive you over the edge. 
Then, you pull the shower curtain back and stick your hand under the water, stepping into it fully with a deep sigh. The water is lukewarm. They probably turned off the heater to conserve power and allow the main generator to function for longer. That’s fine. Beggars can’t be choosers and everyone is a beggar nowadays. Besides, it’s warm enough outside that the water isn’t too cold as it is. In the winter, you probably wouldn’t be able to shower and the pipes might freeze entirely until the following spring. 
There’s a normalcy that you settle into as you wash your body. You return to muscle memory, running your hands over your skin and scrubbing the grime out. It’s simultaneously like the first shower of your life and as if you’ve been doing it every day. You return to a state of pleasant, familiar humanity as you wash away dirt that has built up for weeks. You feel as it pours off of you, see it run down your body onto the porcelain of the tub and swirl down the drain. It’s dirt and dried blood that has been caked onto your skin. You worry that even after washing, it will leave a permanent mark. 
The person in the mirror when you get out of the shower is in stark contrast to the person who went into it. They’re someone that you recognize. You could almost convince yourself that nothing ever changed. Your water-soaked skin is so familiar to you, that you could be getting out of the shower and dressing to go to work. If it weren’t for the look in your eyes, you could have fooled yourself. Something undefinable has changed in you, something that you will carry with you forever. You glance at yourself in the foggy mirror and think that there is no going back. 
The house is quiet when you dry yourself and open the bathroom door. You step across the hall on the balls of your feet, careful not to make any noise, and when you push the bedroom door open, you do a visual sweep to make sure that it’s safe out of habit. 
Your body is exhausted. You are so thoroughly tired that you think you could collapse at any moment, but when you sit down on the bed in your fresh clothes, you find yourself restless. This place is new to you and you’re unsure if the safe feeling is your mind playing desperate tricks on you or the real thing. The lamp by your bed is on, casting a yellow glow across the bedsheets and the dark wood furniture. Come to think of it, you didn’t get a good look at the house when you came in and the thought starts to bother you as you stare at the closed door to the hallway. 
Someone could be behind it. They could be waiting for you to lay down, to sleep, before doing something awful. You almost feel guilty for thinking this way about them. They’ve fed you, given you a shower, given you fresh clothes. Luxuries you weren’t sure even existed anymore, yet you’re sitting here doubting them, wishing you had your pistol or knife.
The bedroom door creaks as you open it. You wince, nervous that you’ve disturbed the quiet peace of the house and that everything will come crashing down as quickly as it seemed to come together. The hallway is dark, save for some light coming from under two doors at the end of the hall. One of them turns out as you creep past it to the stairs, and you hear the distinct sound of box springs squeaking as someone crawls into bed. You let go of the breath you’d been holding, straightening up as you relax into the late-night environment. 
The house looks old even from the inside. It gives the impression of having once been dirty and in near disrepair. There are dust stains and dull spots that no amount of scrubbing could get out. You can almost picture how this place may have looked when they found it and it’s entirely possible that it had been abandoned before the actual outbreak. Someone run out of their home for lack of money. What a trivial thing now. 
The stairs are sturdy, probably held together so well by the foundation of the house, and they’re made of dark wood. They’re steep too, the kind that a baby or old person might trip over, and you hold the railing to calm the shaking of your legs as you slowly feel your way down. You can see the light on in the kitchen from around the corner, spreading out onto the floor of the old fashioned drawing room. Dishes clink in the kitchen, like someone is washing them, and you jump a little at the noise as you creep around the corner. 
Kirishima is standing at the sink with his back to you, whispering something to someone beside him. The expanse of his back is broad, moving every time he goes to run his hand over the dish in front of him. Then, he turns to look at you and you see Mina pop her head around the corner. 
“Oh,” Kiri says, “did you need something?” 
You shake your head. “Not really, I just couldn’t sleep.” 
Kiri nods sympathetically as if he knows the feeling. “Well, you look like you feel a little better at least.” 
You pad over to where he’s doing the dishes and Mina offers you a soft smile and a knowing look. It all seems so normal. Doing the dishes, whispering quietly as they do. Something about it screams a kind of humanity you haven’t experienced in a long while, even with your last group. 
“Are you sure we can’t get you something?” Mina says, furrowing her brows. 
“Why are you all being so nice to me?” You ask. “You don’t know the first thing about me.” 
“Is there some reason why we shouldn’t be nice to you?” Kiri says over his shoulder. 
“No,” you shake your head. “I just think it’s reckless, that’s all. I could have been anyone.” 
Kirishima and Mina exchange a look. They glance at each other, like they’re debating on saying something, and then Kiri turns and rests his palms on the back of the sink. He looks at Mina. 
“We don’t usually decide to do this so quickly,” she admits. “We’re friendly, but nobody’s that friendly anymore.” 
Kiri nods his agreement and you listen quietly, trying to determine if they plan to toss you back out into the woods in the morning. 
“But, Katsuki doesn’t usually bring people in,” she continues. 
“He’s a little more closed off than the rest of us,” Kirishima adds. “He’s a good guy, just takes a while to warm up, is all.” 
“Mhm,” Mina says. 
“What does that have to do with me?” you ask. “This is nice and all, but I’m sure you get why I’m wary.” 
“He’s a good judge of character,” Kiri adds earnestly. “He doesn’t bring people in often, but when he does, he’s usually right.” 
You nod, not quite understanding. Sure, you don’t plan to do anything terrible. In fact, you’re content to accept their kindness and stay, if they’d let you. Anything is better than being alone, but their blind trust in one man’s judgment of character makes you uneasy. 
“He was alone for a really long time,” Mina adds. “A lot of us were. I got lucky meeting Kirishima early on, but Katsuki’s luck was a little less fortuitous.” 
“So you all just… happened upon each other by chance?” You ask. 
“Yeah, pretty much,” Mina says. “It was me and Kiri for a long time. Just the two of us. We’d found Izuku and Katsuki together a while later, but they didn’t seem to like each other all that much. We still haven’t really figured that out, especially because they’re so close now. Ochako and Sero ended up cornered together by accident. We found them just before we found this place, and Denki just sort of showed up here one day and promised to fix the generator in exchange for safety. That was months ago. We’ve been like this since.”
“So you’re all strays,” you say and Mina laughs a little and looks at Kiri. 
“Sure,” she says. “We’re all strays. There were others too. Shoji. Jirou. She was Denki’s girlfriend.” 
“I’m sorry,” you say with a frown. It feels pointless to apologize for the dead, if you get caught up in it, you’d be apologizing forever. 
“Don’t be,” Kiri adds. “But best not to bring her up. It was pretty recent and Denki’s only just started to get over it.” 
You swallow thick and nod a little. 
“Anyway,” Mina says, “we can’t really explain it. We just trust him. We trust Katsuki. That’s all.” 
“Hm,” you hum, understanding that to a degree. 
You trusted the people in your group. If they believed in someone, you were willing to as well, so you suppose you can understand a little where they’re coming from. 
“What are you talking about,” Katsuki rounds the corner, walking into the kitchen and putting his water bottle under the sink. 
“Nothing really,” Mina says. 
Katsuki furrows his eyebrows and then looks at you. He gives you a once over, taking in your new clothing before scoffing lightly. 
“Don’t you look cozy,” he says. “You get settled?” 
“When can I go get my stuff?” You ask. 
“Someone’s eager,” he says through lightly gritted teeth. “Didn’t I tell ya we could go in the morning? Besides, what’s there really to miss in that lot of junk?” 
“Katsuki!” Mina quietly chides. 
“I have things I care about there,” you say. “Things I’m not ready to lose.” 
Katsuki blinks at you for a second before swearing under his breath. “We’ll leave when you get up in the morning.” 
“You don’t have to come with me,” you say, frowning a bit at his sour attitude. 
“Like hell,” he scoffs. “What if the dead are waiting back there for you?” 
“I made it this far on my own,” you respond. 
Katsuki nods for a second. “I’m going. Come find me in the morning.” 
He walks off and around the corner. You hear him go up the stairs, followed by the distinct click of a bedroom door shutting. 
“Don’t pay too much attention to that,” Mina says. “It’s past his bedtime.” 
“You’ll get used to him,” Kiri adds. 
“Right,” you say, swallowing down your frustration in favor of trying to be appreciative of the help. You sway on your feet a little and then steady yourself. “I’m going to go to sleep. Thank you for the meal and the bed.” 
Mina and Kiri nod, but you don’t stick around to hear a response. Fatigue creeps up on you. It ambushes your senses and you go from feeling dream-like to delusional in a matter of moments. You make your way up the stairs, your body feeling heavy as lead, and wobble your way into the bedroom they’re letting you stay in. 
When your head hits the pillow, you’re out. The world around you fades to dark and just before you sleep, you swear that you can hear the sounds of cars passing on the highway. A busy night, Saturday maybe, and people go about their daily lives outside of the window the way that they always have. They live, never the wiser to just how quickly things fall apart and how little it takes for our humanity to leave us. 
— 
Mornings in this place are boisterous. The sun coming through the lone window in your room wakes you up and you can hear the calls of busy people getting to work outside. There are voices from the porch out front that your window looks over and though you can’t see them, you get the sense that they’re having a pleasant conversation. 
As you rouse, you come to the realization of just how exhausted you’d really been. They probably saved your life by bringing you to this place, feeding you, and offering you a bed. In hindsight, it’s easy to see just how little you had left in you. You get the sense now that you’d been running on an empty tank for days, slowly coming to an inglorious, gruesome, sputtering stop. 
Things seem a little clearer, like the sunlight is somehow less bleak than it had been the days previous and you feel a little bit like you have a new lease on life. There are no big emotions, no swells of hope or humanity just yet, and you dread the moment you are rested enough to let grief consume you. Right now, you can’t feel it, but there is a fear in you that as you get to know these people who live relatively beautifully in an ugly world, it will weigh you down so much that you’ll never be able to outrun it. 
You wonder if they’ll let you stay. They very well may not, even with the way they were talking last night. Strangers are more dangerous than they’ve ever been and if they ask you whether or not you’ve killed someone, you refuse to lie to them. Sitting up on the bed, you mull over the very real possibility that you could be back out there on your own again in a matter of days and you don’t even have that many good acts under your belt to plead your case. You’re just a person and you’ve done what you needed to in order to survive. Now, you’re not sure if that’s enough. 
You swallow thick, wandering over to the mirror on the dresser. It’s fogged, though less than the bathroom mirror, and you can make out your features a little better than you could last night. You feel a bit more sane, though you still don’t recognize the frightful and distrustful look in your eyes. Like a wounded animal. Inside your head, you acknowledge that you are completely different from the person you were two hundred and seventy seven days ago. 
The voices grow louder as you climb down the stairs, more secure on your feet than you felt last night. You can hear them talking about the generator, as well as a name you don’t recognize. 
“He should be back by now,” a woman says. “Shoto’s never gone longer than a day or two, max.” 
“We shouldn’t jump to conclusions,” another woman says with a worried bite in her voice. Mina, maybe? “We’re only a few hours into the day. He probably got holed up somewhere.” 
“Someone needs to go look for him,” a man says.
“And what? Risk getting yourself killed?” the first woman says. “No, it doesn’t make sense. We need you here.” 
“You’d rather we leave him to die on his own?” 
“No one’s fuckin’ dying.” 
You recognize Katsuki’s voice. 
“He’s perfectly capable of going on a gasoline run,” he continues. “He’s done it before.” 
“I should have gone with him,” says the same woman. 
“On that leg? You wouldn’t have made it halfway to town, let alone there and back,” his voice raises a little. “Don’t be stupid. He’ll be back.” 
You clear your throat and step around the corner. The group turns to face you quickly at the sound, their eyes wide for a moment before relaxing. You can’t sneak up on anyone nowadays. 
“Sorry,” you say, “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Is everything okay?” 
It’s not your business, but you ask anyway, wondering for yourself about the safety of Shoto. 
“Fine,” Izuku says, shaking his head. You recognize him to be the one who'd vouched for going after their friend. Katsuki takes a step away from the broad man as he says this. “Nothing for you to worry about. Did you rest?” 
Izuku smiles gently at you, his chest inflating a little at the question. The movement broadens his shoulders and you realize that he stands almost a head taller than Katsuki. You look briefly between the two of them before nodding. 
“I did,” you say. “Thank you.” 
“Nothing wrong with a little hospitality now and then,” he smiles and you can’t help but furrow your eyebrows at the distinct hesitance in his voice. 
“I don’t think we’ve met,” the woman standing across from Izuku says. “I’m Momo. Sorry I wasn’t there to meet you last night. I’ve been a little under the weather.” 
You introduce yourself to her and glance down at her leg. Her ankle is swollen and wrapped in a bandage. Her sneaker laces are untied at the top to make room for the swelling and you can see that she’s guarding that side of her leg. 
“Is it…?” you grimace, taking an instinctive step away from her. You almost feel bad for it, but sometimes good people make bad decisions when loved ones get bit. 
“No,” she says quickly, “no, it isn’t. Caught an edge in an old chain link fence on the property a couple days back.” 
Momo smiles slightly at you as if to reassure you. She’s really beautiful, with thick dark hair pulled back into a somewhat messy ponytail. Her eyes are bright, like she’s engaged in lively conversation, and you find yourself feeling a little sad for her. She’ll need medicine soon, if they can get it. Infections set in easily these days and you get the sense that even she knows that she may not have long without it. Maybe that’s something else their friend Shoto set out to find. 
“I assume you’ll be wanting to go get your supplies?” Katsuki says, cutting the conversation short. Maybe he could sense the sour turn of thoughts. 
“Ready when you are,” you respond with a nod. 
Katsuki glances at Izuku, who gives him a slightly disapproving look. 
“Someone get them something to eat,” Katsuki says. “...I’ll get my shit ready.” 
“Fig jam…” Mina mumbles as she motions for you to follow her to the kitchen. 
You oblige her, not exactly jumping to turn down a meal. She walks you into the kitchen and opens up a cabinet, where she pulls out a jar filled with a dark and seed filled paste. It’s a jam, sealed in a jar that looks older than what’s inside of it. The seal breaks open with a pleasant pop. 
“This stuff is so good,” she says to you over her shoulder, pulling out a package of crackers that have likely gone stale. “You won’t believe it.” 
She spreads the jam on a few crackers and sets it in front of you on a plate, pushing it across the counter towards you. 
“It’s fig jam,” she says with a smile. “Homemade.” 
You look down at the plate, your mouth watering at the prospect of something sweet like this. It’s been so long since you've had fresh jam. It could be as long as 10 years. You don’t think you’ve had it since you were a kid, when jam came easily and you preferred the processed brands at the supermarket to the ones your mom used to make sometimes. 
You raise the cracker to your mouth and stuff it in with little grace. The sweetness spreads across your tongue as soon as you bite into the stale cracker. It fizzes and pops almost, the sugar melting across your tongue as the seeds crack softly between your teeth. The smile that hits your face is completely involuntary and though you know that nine months ago, this jam wouldn’t have been much, today it is something extraordinary. 
Mina nods a kind of girlish agreement, like the way people used to when they had their friend try something at their favorite restaurant. 
“We got here in the fall. I want to say late October or early November?” she offers. “We were starving and there wasn’t enough food to feed all of us. By that time there were like… nine of us.” 
You listen as you eat your crackers. 
“This place was in such an awful state,” she laughs. “I mean, really terrible. But, it was big and there was a fig tree in the back. A little thing, probably only a few years old and it had fruit on it. We ate so many of them that if the world were normal, we’d have sworn off of them forever. When we realized that the house actually had some old food in it,” she interrupts herself “-nothing good, canned stuff mostly- we decided to jar up the rest of the figs so that they didn’t rot.” 
She smiles at you like it’s a pleasant memory, but you can only think about how hungry they must have been. Your stomach growls as you eat. 
“I know it doesn’t sound like much,” she says, “but for some reason it’s a really nice memory. Honestly, we’re lucky we didn’t die.” 
Mina laughs a little. 
“I mean,” she continues, “we didn’t even clear the area before we started pulling at the figs and throwing them into our mouths.” 
You tilt your head at her and furrow your eyebrows with a small smile. 
“You’re really forthcoming with information.” 
“You just seem a little hesitant, is all,” she answers. 
“Can you blame me?” 
Mina shrugs her shoulders but doesn’t really offer an answer. You assume it’s because she can’t, because Mina has the same doubts everyone carries with them in this world. All of the what ifs people would think about before they slept have become more prevalent than anyone would have ever liked. 
“The jam is good,” you say, trying to be friendly in the same way she is. “Even if it is months old.” 
“Things keep well in jars,” Mina defends softly, smiling a little as she gets another out of you. 
This place feels like a little slice of paradise. A blessing from whoever lived here before and kept a garden stocked with vegetables. From someone who lived in an old house with stables and well-water, who kept canned food past its expiration date. It feels almost too good to be true, like these people live in a bubble bound to pop. 
“You ready?” Katsuki thuds into the kitchen with an empty backpack slung over his shoulder. 
You turn, startled by his sudden appearance and nod as you quickly finish chewing the last cracker. Katsuki furrows his eyebrows as he watches the way you scarf it down. 
When you stand from the table, Katsuki turns on his heel to make for the front door and you follow with a light step. Mina says something about staying safe, but you don’t respond, glancing once over your shoulder at the girl. 
It’s strange, the world has made you wishy-washy and uncommitted. You never used to be like that, never so distrusting as to second guess someone’s kindness the moment your back is turned to them, and you’re certainly not the type to be friendly one moment and closed off the next. Now though, you find that doubt creeps in easily through cracks and any foundation that didn’t exist before, seems to be swallowed before you can finish building it. 
Katsuki leads you back across the small clearing you’d come through the night before. It looks different in the day, almost romantic, and it lacks any of the ominous feeling it had the previous evening. He steps over mounds in the dirt from moles and gophers that have made lawns their new home and you try to mimic his steps, sinking occasionally into a particularly soft patch of dirt. Every now and then, Katsuki glances behind him to check that you’re still there and you offer him a forced smile that he never returns.
You catch up to him when you hit the trees, sticking close at his side like something will come and take you away if you’re not. It’s unintentional, but you don’t have a weapon on you. Your knife is back at your makeshift camp, along with the unloaded pistol and your trusty spatula. 
“How do you know where we’re going?” You ask in a whisper. 
Katsuki tosses a look at you over his shoulder. “I’m good with directions.” 
His tone is clipped, like he’s pissed about something, and your expression sours at it. Sure, you get it but it irritates you to some small degree. You hadn’t asked him to come along. In fact, you’d have been fine getting back here to collect your stuff on your own. You’d have asked for a knife and set out without a second thought, if only because being alone in the woods with some guy was less preferable than doing it by yourself. Of course, some guy also probably saved your life, but you’re not quite ready to relinquish your trust completely. 
“Thanks for coming,” you decide. A peace offering. 
Katsuki doesn’t answer and you furrow your brows a little bit. You wonder if he’s always been like this or if the end of the world brought on the loss of his manners. 
Then, he stops, taking you by the arm and pulling you down beside a bush. You gasp and he puts his hand over your mouth to silence you. There’s the urge to bite him, to catch the fleshy bit connecting his thumb and pointer finger between your teeth and bite down till he bleeds, but you stop when you catch what he’s looking at. 
Two of the living dead crouch by a tree, clicking their tongues as they eat something just out of sight. You furrow your eyebrows, eyes widening at the horror of it. For some reason, seeing them always brings about a round of momentary shock. You’ve yet to let go of the hounding thought that they used to be people and sometimes have to reorient yourself to the world you’re in now. 
You catch Katsuki’s eye behind you, his calloused hand still clasped over your mouth, and nod your head. It’s a silent communication that you’ve seen what he has and he removes his palm from your face to grab a knife tucked into his belt, passing it to you quickly. 
The two infected haven’t noticed the two of you yet, but they will soon, if only by the smell of your flesh which has yet to rot. You hear Katsuki let out a breath, as if to calm his heart, and do the same. There’s time to look at them like this and you’re struck by how human you can pretend they are in your head. Well, you suppose they were human once, now they’re a disease using someone’s skin as a mask. 
Infected people aren’t quick, that’s one thing to be grateful for. Back when the outbreak first started, the CDC had released information on what to look out for in those who might have contracted the virus. The first was obviously a bite wound from another infected person, but you can tell from other symptoms. Early symptoms are average. Body aches, fever, lethargy, and delirium. All things you might see with a nasty flu. Then, infection of the wound site, twitching, foggy eyes—like low-grade cataracts—that develop within a matter of hours or days, severe disorientation, aversion to food, insomnia, with the final symptom being a coma that no one ever wakes up as themselves from. 
These are the symptoms that people are conscious for. The ones they feel. The sickness that people tried to nurse others back from. There is no coming back though, not alive at the very least. The virus attacks the nerves throughout the brain and body, that’s what causes the twitching and convulsions. It’s what ultimately kills us, and it's what they think causes the bodies to come back. 
Most infected will crack when they move. It’s the cartilage breaking down as the bones grind together and crack as they’re weakened from the marrow out. They twitch like rabid animals, unable to keep masterful control of their bodies because they are run like puppets from the brain stem. You don’t know if they think. If somehow the people they used to be are still in there, unable to stop themselves from consuming and spreading the virus to others. All you really know is that they twitch and click, functions of the brain that still remain. Tiny impulses sent through the synapses. You imagine it to be like the way you twitch when you sleep, an arm here or a leg there, the way someone might call out with their voice to a room with no one in it. 
Maybe the infected think they’re dreaming. A nightmare that they never wake up from, like those of us who have to put them down. You could see it as a mercy from that perspective. You have an easier time rationalizing putting a knife in someone’s skull if you convince yourself that they’re silently begging for it. 
Katsuki shifts his weight and looks at you. He mouths the words no guns and you nod, briefly wondering where the fuck he thinks you could have gotten a gun from. 
Then, you kick off and run with Katsuki towards the infected. They don’t really have time to begin moving towards you both. You’re faster than them, but you hear the crack of their legs as they stand from their crouched positions, pulled in at the idea of their next meal.
Katsuki takes the farther one, sinking the knife into the soft spot of its temple with relative ease. You switch yourself off and take the one closest only a few moments later, sending your blade through the top of its skull. That happens to you when you have to do this. You turn yourself off for a bit, just so that you don’t have to remember the way it feels to hit the soft part of someone’s brain. You didn’t used to do that, only starting when you realized that there’s no going through this world anymore without it. 
Katsuki wipes the blood on his pants. It’s brown, no longer oxygenated, and the area around you begins to reek. You notice, but for some reason the smell of decomposition doesn’t register in your brain and you continue on behind him. 
There are a few beats of silence, save for twigs breaking under your feet, before Katsuki speaks up. 
“You okay?” It’s barely above a whisper and you wouldn’t have caught it were you not listening for the distinctive crack of human bones. 
“Yeah,” you say, continuing forward. 
The campsite rounds into view and in this light, with your full night’s sleep under your belt, you can see just how pitiful it looks. A tent that you’d hastily put up before nightfall, the remains of your stamped out fire, the folding chair which has since been knocked over, and your weapons on the floor covered by a few leaves disturbed by the wind. 
You snatch them up and move to grab your backpack out of the tent. The inside is shitty too and your torn sleeping bag hadn’t even been rolled out yet. You pick up the bag, returning to the folding chair as Katsuki begins to take down the tent. The polyester and nylon blend zips together as he makes quick work of folding it. Then, he kicks some dry brush over the remains of the fire, like he’s covering your tracks. 
“The next person that comes through here might not be alone,” he says plainly. “And they may have more bullets than you did.” 
“Right,” you respond. Your voice sounds a little far off and you settle your backpack on your shoulder in one quick motion. 
“Got everything?” 
You nod, following him as he heads out in the direction you both came from. The two of you pass the bodies of the infected you’d killed. The smell has permeated the air, lingering like how it does in cities, only less pungent. Their fogged eyes stare blankly at nothing, expressions plain and unreadable. You pass and try not to think much about it. 
Katsuki is a few feet ahead of you and he doesn’t glance back to make sure you’re following. You could leave now and never get attached to these people. You could head off in another direction and never have to think twice about it. No more worrying about who you could lose, about who’s next to become one of the sick masses. Just you by yourself. Then, when you finally kick the can, someone else can put you down the way you did to those strangers. 
Is there really a point to it anymore? To community or living in general. No one is as they once were. Does that make it fantasy to live in their beautiful bubble? Could you even find it in yourself to pretend again, to make nice and play house in that place? They saved your life, sure. They fed you, clothed you, bathed you, but for what point? Tomorrow, you could end up back in the woods, lighting fires with twigs you found in the brush, paranoid that someone would find you or the fire would spread. 
You watch Katsuki’s back as he moves, shoulders shifting with each step. His shirt is stained, white turned eggshell from the wear and tear of time. It seems so off to you that he looks relatively clean, like he lives well. 
Fear strikes you as you realize that your rambling thoughts have merit. Anything you fear now has become real and loss is so tangible to you that you can squeeze it in your hand. They could turn you out. Tomorrow night you could begin the starve and step all over again, moving from place to place, talking to yourself, filling your hours with paranoid thoughts like these that plague you when you’re alone. Is that worse than loss? If you’re alone long enough, you’d probably forget what you’re missing. Losing anyone else could make the wound fresh. For now, the hunger wins out. 
Katsuki jogs ahead of you to get to the house. Momo is on the porch waving him in and he hurries up the steps and bursts through the front door. As you approach, you can hear voices, some of which are relieved, others hurried. When you enter the room, you find a man standing there whom you’ve never seen before, Shoto maybe. 
“A plus one,” the man looks up, tilting his head at you in an odd way. 
“Katsuki’s,” Kiri says with a low smirk. 
Shoto’s eyes widen as he peers at his friend, clutching what looks like an injured shoulder. Katsuki just huffs his irritation. 
“Well, that’s rare,” Shoto says. 
“What’s rare?” Katsuki spits. “They were in the woods with a fire. What was I supposed to do? Let ‘em die?” 
“Maybe,” Shoto says, a light smile creeping onto his features. Then, he turns to you. “What’s your name?” 
You give it to him and he nods his head, tilting it at you again. 
“How long are you staying?”
You’re not sure how to answer that question. In fact, no one is, and it feels like more of a test than it does a genuine inquiry. Kiri and Mina exchange a glance and Katsuki tosses a somewhat dirty look towards Shoto. Ochako gives Shoto a knowing glance and Sero and Denki shift uncomfortably on their feet. Then, Momo clears her throat, spurring Izuku to say something. 
“Shoto,” he says. “You’re probably hungry, you should eat something and lay down. Ochako? Could you take a look at his shoulder?” 
“Sure,” the girl says softly, giving a closed mouth smile to Shoto as she takes him by the arm. 
She glances at you as she passes, almost like she’s too embarrassed to look at you fully in the face. You suppose this is what happens when people are forced to think about whether or not they will potentially leave someone else to die. It’s like the trolley cart question and though in this case there is always the possibility of a better outcome, it’s not likely in this world. 
“Just until I’m rested,” you add with a small tilt of your head. “A few days.” 
Shoto looks at you over his shoulder and gives you a small smile. It’s funny, you can see kindness there. His actions aren’t kind, but you can feel that he has kindness in him, though his rudeness stems from something different than Katsuki’s, you think. Like he’s strange in some way. 
“I’ll start on dinner,” Sero says. “Kiri, give me a hand.” 
The group disperses and you head upstairs without speaking to anyone else. A few days to rest and then cut the first people you’ve spoken to in weeks loose. What sort of idiot gives up something like this to avoid a little awkwardness? Not that you necessarily had your mind made up. You wonder briefly if you’ve just sealed your own tomb. 
After dinner, you go upstairs to sleep after eating as much as they would offer you. Your stomach has ceased its constant growling and the shakiness that comes with hunger has receded almost entirely into the background. The bed is soft, with a slight dent in it from whoever slept in here before. The thought unsettles you that they’re probably dead now, but you try to push it from your mind as you steel yourself for what comes within the next few days. 
You had volunteered yourself to leave. To what? Save yourself the embarrassment of pleading? Did you even want to plead? Why are you regretting not asking to stay? These people don’t know you, what trust can you have built with them in only a few days? Your skin crawls at the expanse of possibilities in front of you after so many weeks without any. 
You think that if you let yourself walk away, you’ll probably die. You’re out of bullets and don’t know where to find any food except by luck. You can try to catch prey, but prey hides whenever infected are around, and they’re everywhere nowadays. It’s spring, water wouldn’t be a problem, but running water has its clear comforts. Then, there’s the possibility of loss. You’d come to care for these people if you stayed, you know it. 
You furrow your eyebrows and look at the ceiling. There’s really no choice to be made. You’ll let them make it for you, even if you don’t know them. It’s their house and you won’t walk in uninvited or try to take it. You’re not about to become a monster just because the world is full of them now.
The darkness grows and your eyes drift to the dim light wandering in under the crack of the door. Hushed voices whisper in the living room, you can hear them. It’s a heated discussion, lively, but deliberately quiet. It’s been hours since everyone went to bed, yet you get the impression that many people are chiming in. You’re too nosey to leave it be. 
You open the bedroom door silently, turning the cool knob with a wince as it clicks out of place. When you peer into the hallway, every upstairs bedroom door is open with the room empty. The light is coming from down stairs and around the corner, and you can see shadows move as you inch closer to the source. 
You pause at the top of the stairs, knowing that they creak, and crouch by the bannister to listen. You’re out of sight. The only way they’d know you’re listening is if you made a sound, but you won’t. You’re good at being quiet. 
“We don’t even know them,” someone says in a rushed whisper. “We don’t know what they’ve done before.” 
“Everyone’s done things they’re not proud of now, Shoto,” a woman adds. It’s Mina. She’s spoken enough to you that you recognize her voice. 
“I agree with Shoto,” says another woman, her voice higher pitched. She sounds guilty and her voice is tight as she speaks “We have no clue who they are. They could be dangerous.” 
“You mean like me, Ochako?” A man adds. “I could have been dangerous.” 
The group grows quiet for a moment. 
“No,” Momo says. You recognize the cadence of her voice. “Shoto might be right, Denki. It’s been nearly six months since you got here and the world has changed a lot. We don’t- we can’t know for sure.”
“Can we really know anything for sure?” Another man adds, Kiri.
“What about you guys?” Shoto says, presumably to the rest of the group. 
“I don’t know.”
“I’m hesitant, but I don’t know either.”  
“Jesus,” another man with a baritone voice, harsher than the rest. That’s Katsuki, the first voice you’d heard of the group. “You guys make me a little sick.” 
“That’s not fair,” Ochako says. 
“No,” he interrupts. “It is fair. You guys want to… what? Send them back out there to die?” 
“It’s not like that,” Shoto says.  
“It is like that,” he says, raising his voice and then lowering it back to a whisper. “You didn’t see them when they got here, Shoto. They- they didn’t look… shit. The rest of you, you saw them. You really want to send them back out there to fuckin’ waste away? I don’t know about you all, but I won’t do that to a person.” 
There’s a pregnant pause.
“Katsuki’s right,” Izuku says with a bit of conviction, like he’s finally made up his mind. “Sending someone out there alone is a death sentence. How does doing that make us any better than the people we’re trying to protect ourselves from?” 
“What if there are more of them?” Ochako says quietly. “What if they’re not alone?” 
“Trust me,” Katsuki says, “They were alone.” 
“But what if they’re not?” She insists at a whisper, a bit of shame creeping into her voice. “What if people come for us?” 
“See?” Shoto says gently. “There are so many what-ifs.” 
“That works the other way too,” Mina adds. 
You don’t listen to hear the rest of their conversation. They’re going to run themselves in circles debating about you. They’ll go around and around and land on whichever argument ends with the most votes. They’ll convince each other of one thing and it will happen totally out of your control. 
The bedroom door shuts with a low click that makes you wince again. You think about the people who went to bat for you and the people who didn’t. You don’t blame those who opposed. You’d have probably reacted similarly if your old group were still alive and you understand very clearly why they do it. One person’s stupid reaction can be catastrophic and they don’t know enough about you to be certain that you’re not one of those stupid people. It’s how the world went to shit in the first place and though nine months ago you’d have surely condemned someone for making the same decision, you know that fear has warped humanity beyond comprehension. You didn’t get it until you lived it. 
Still, Katsuki’s humanity feels intact somehow, more so than yours at least. His response is something you probably never would have said under the same conditions and you can’t help but feel some sort of fondness bloom in you for him. Call it connection, gratefulness for his willingness to stick his neck out for you, a trauma response. You still feel it. Mina and Kiri had said that Katsuki was a good judge of character and that’s why they were willing to back him. You wonder briefly if maybe Katsuki sees something in you that you don’t recognize in yourself anymore, or maybe something you don’t expect other people to recognize. What is it that he wants so badly to protect? 
Someone stomps down the hallway, heavy boots against the old creaky floors. You hear the steps recede down the hallway, maybe a door or two down, before it shuts quickly. The sound makes you wince and you listen as the house grows quiet and then hums quietly with the sound of others coming upstairs a few moments later. Someone pads to the end of the hall, pushing the door open. 
You hear a woman’s voice, so muffled that you can’t make out what she’s saying. Then, you hear the sound of a man’s affirmation before the bedroom door shuts and the visitor moves back down the hall to a separate bedroom. Information passing through the house. 
Someone is moving around in a room below you and you figure that there are probably bedrooms downstairs as well. From the outside, you’d never guess that the place could house ten people. Inside though, the bedrooms are small. That’s probably why so many can fit. You’d guess that the place used to have multiple generations living in it, or maybe even rented out rooms to people for a few months. It sort of has a boarding house feel to it, like many people have come and gone even before people stopped staying in one place. 
That’s a good thing to call it, the boarding house. It certainly has that sort of feel to it, many of its spaces undeniably communal. 
You turn over in the bed, facing the bedroom door. The lights have gone out completely now and the house is quiet save for the occasional creak or thud from someone preparing to sleep. It’s been a long while since the sounds of living have been so prevalent near you. You’re eased by the sounds of the house settling, a familiar reminder of what living used to be. Your group had been on the road long before you lost them and the comforts of an interior are almost overwhelmingly nostalgic. You’re better rested to notice it now and shutting your eyes, you savor the feeling. 
“Need some help?” You say. 
Denki turns around, grease smeared across his nose where he likely wiped it with his dirty hands. He’s holding a wrench in a glove so tattered that it hardly counts as a glove anymore. He looks startled, amber eyes widening before he uses his forearm to brush stray hairs out of his face. The rest of it is pulled up into a messy ponytail, revealing the moist back of his neck. 
“Oh, sure,” he says, a bit surprised. “Do you know how generators work?” 
He crouches back over the machine and you step up behind him. 
The machine is rusted near the bottom and between the exposed winding pipes. Its paint has chipped away, leaving the weather-damaged metal open for you to see. On the side, a fan-like piece spins slowly in circles and the machine whirs and sputters softly as it… generates power, probably. 
“Not quite, but an extra pair of hands is always helpful,” you say softly, passing him a tool he’d been reaching for. “Did it break?” 
“No,” Denki says, “but it’s probably on its last legs. The thing’s almost as old as we are, probably older, so it’s good to tune it up a bunch.” 
You hum your agreement, tilting your head as you stand and watch him work. 
You’re not necessarily comfortable with Denki, but he feels like a safe person for some reason. Maybe it’s because he’s got a sort of ditzy, non-threatening vibe to him. You can almost distinctly picture him tripping over his own feet and something about that makes you feel considerably safer than someone who wouldn’t. That and he was the first person you’ve come across this morning who you don’t think distrusts you too badly. 
“Are you dodging something?” Denki smirks up at you from his crouch. 
“Who on earth would I be dodging?” you snort a bit defensively. 
“Shoto,” he says with a light smile. “He put you in a tight spot the other day.” 
“Yeah, well,” you say, glancing over your shoulder. “It wasn’t anything he didn’t have a right to ask.” 
“Right, but it sure was rude, huh?” 
Denki laughs to himself a little and you’re surprised by how easygoing he is. You subconsciously begin to categorize him with Mina and Kiri. The dichotomy of this group baffles you a bit, but you can certainly see all nine of them as a collective. Tightly knit and well acquainted with the habits of others. 
“Oh!” He exclaims, “I have something you can do for me.” 
You tilt your head. 
“There’s a bucket over there,” he says, pointing absentmindedly to a shitty plastic bucket against the side of the house. “We use the water from the creek as coolant. It’s not factory grade, but it does the trick. You wanna go fill it up and bring it back for when I’m done tuning this thing up?” 
You furrow your eyebrows, not sure where the creek he’s talking about is. 
“The creek is just over there,” he points behind the house to the edge of the treeline. “I know you can’t see it from here, but if you walk in a straight line, you’ll hit it. Katsuki should be down there too, so you can use him as a landmark.” 
When you don’t immediately answer, Denki whines a little. 
“I mean,” he says, “I’d go myself, but-” 
“I’ll do it,” you laugh a little and Denki seems surprised that you do. 
“Really?” 
“Yeah,” you shrug. “I’d like to pull some weight at least while I’m here. Plus, I offered.” 
Denki mumbles his pleasure and you walk to the bucket without another word and set off in the direction Denki pointed. You’re much more willing to go out to the treeline now that you have a knife back at your side. 
The walk to the trees is longer than it looks, like how sometimes the horizon looks like something you could reach out and climb up onto. The walk stretches with each step you take and you become a little more understanding of why Denki didn’t want to do it himself. But the walk is actually pleasant, the warmth of mid May collecting evenly on your skin as the humidity grows more intense with the sun. 
You wonder what Katsuki would be doing by the creek. Maybe he’s fishing, or crouched over himself sharpening an arsenal of knives that you think he might keep in a roll attached to his belt sometimes. You’re not sure why, but Katsuki sort of has that expression to him. He’s handsome, but the scowl projects something hostile that makes him seem unapproachable. 
As you cross through the middle of the clearing, you could almost imagine that this is a normal day. Humidity collects on your skin, making you sweat a little as you dodge gopher holes and soft spots of dirt. It almost feels like summer camp, if it weren’t for the looming idea that you’re contributing to something you may not be a part of. Denki’s attitude though, has you hoping for a more favorable outcome, if you want to call it that. 
You’re only a few steps into the line of trees when the earth dips into a sand-lined ravine. The trees leave room for the sun to beat down on warmed rocks, making the area seem brighter with their subtle reflection of the light. The noise of the creek drowns out the sound of your footsteps and you shuffle toward where the earth flattens just before the water starts. A little ways to your right, you can see Katsuki sitting on a rock in the sun, his hands dipped into a large bucket. You narrow your eyes as he pulls what looks like a cloth out of the water, rubbing the fabric together before dipping it in the cool water of the creek.
As you approach, you realize what it is that he’s doing. It’s laundry. On the other side of him, you can see a bin of what look like dirty clothes and water-soaked clean ones. Talk about misjudged character. 
“Katsuki,” you say as you approach him, the bucket still empty in your hand.
He squints up at you, shifting his face so that it's in your shadow. 
“You’re still here,” he says plainly, returning to his task. 
“Clearly,” you respond, watching as he runs his fingers over the next piece of clothing in the bucket. 
“Why are you down here? Did Denki pawn the generator water onto you?” He says, like he’s somewhat frustrated. “He does that shit to anyone he can.” 
You shrug your shoulders and continue to stare at him. 
“Are you just gonna stand there?” He huffs out. 
“You’re doing laundry.” 
“Yeah?” he furrows his eyebrows and looks at you. “So?” 
“Nothing,” you say. “I just didn’t expect that.” 
“Yeah well,” he stops for a moment like he’s struggling to find the words. “It needed to be done. Figured I might as well.” 
“How progressive of you,” you joke with a straight face. 
He looks at you out of the corner of his eyes and sighs, not justifying your comment with a response. You find yourself smiling a little bit. 
“If you’re going to linger, sit down and do it,” he says. “You’re creeping me out.” 
You oblige him and sit down on a rock next to him, far enough that you’re not touching, but near enough to hear him if you speak in a low voice. For some reason, you feel a sort of kinship with Katsuki. You’d thought longer than you’d like to admit about his willingness to vouch for you and find that you want to live up to his expectation of your goodness, even if it’s not what you believe yourself to be anymore. Maybe it’s because you’ve slept well the past few nights and feel more like yourself, but there’s a certain casualness to conversing with him that you enjoy. He’s not looking at what you could be, but rather what you’re showing him that you are. His lack of doubt in that is something you find relatively attractive. 
You watch his arms out of the corner of your eye in between gazing at the treeline and the sky. Your field of vision catches on them, his sleeves cut short to expose his biceps, a bit muddied near the elbows where the mud has begun to stick. 
Katsuki doesn’t seem all that bothered by your presence, but now and then you’ll catch the sideways glance he gives you, almost like he’s trying to figure out exactly why you’re lingering. 
“How long have you been with them?” You ask, more as a way to fill the silence. 
Katsuki’s hands pause as he thinks about answering, then, they continue their steady pace. 
“A decent amount of time,” he says. “I met Izuku first, probably in November just before Mina and Kiri. The rest came later.” 
You furrow your eyebrows. 
“No offense,” you start, “but you don’t really seem like the group type.” 
“And you don’t seem like the type who’d be alone,” he retorts, like your statement was stupid. 
You press your lips into a tight line, not really knowing how to respond. 
“Sorry,” he says, shaking his head a little. 
“Were you?” 
“What? Was I sorry?” He furrows his eyebrows at you. 
“No,” you shake your head. “Were you alone? Before Izuku.” 
He goes silent. You’ll take that as a yes, but you regret asking a little. It had just slipped out. If someone were to ask you something like that, you’d probably react the same way. That’s just as well, you don’t really need to know him like that anyway. 
You wonder briefly if anyone does. He seems closed off, but Mina and Kiri spoke about him a few days prior like they knew him well. Well enough at least to allude to a history you’ll likely never be privy to. Then there’s Momo, who whispers little things to him that he answers in kind. Curiosity gets the better of you, if only to tease. 
“Do you have a girlfriend?” you ask and Katsuki’s response is to rest his elbows on his knees and let out a dry laugh. 
He turns his head and looks at you from the side. “And what the fuck are you asking me that for?” 
“Just curious,” you say. “Is it Momo?” 
“Momo?” He makes a sour face at you. “Yeah, right.” 
“She’s pretty,” you say. 
“Sure is,” he responds dryly. “If you’re into the mom type.” 
“What? You’re not into moms?” You grin a little and Katsuki furrows his eyebrows at you. 
“So you do have a personality,” he scoffs a little. 
There’s a pause. You haven’t felt this in a while. The feeling of bonding with someone new, compatibility on the human level that feels nearly instant. 
“I’m kinda serious though,” you say, tilting your head down to catch his eye. “Do you?” 
You’re leaning a little closer to him now.
“You seen any nice restaurants to take a person out to these days?” he questions, clearly a little frustrated with you in the way someone gets when they’re a bit amused. 
“You don’t have to take someone out to a restaurant to fuck them, you know?” You laugh a little. 
Katsuki’s lips part and he swallows like his mouth has gone dry. 
“Yeah, well,” he starts, looking away from you. “I’m a romantic. Sue me.” 
He’s just full of surprises, isn’t he? You find that you’re captivated by this feeling, this humanity, that exists in him. It’s something alive between you both, something left behind from the old world, and you crave it the same way you crave food. 
Katsuki continues scrubbing the clothes, rubbing the fabric together and then dunking it in the bucket before plunging it into the freshwater creek. You’re not sure why you do it, but the next time he looks at you, you kiss him. 
It’s not as if you like him, but it’s something to feel. Some remnant of the butterflies you used to feel on dates and the kiss makes you feel like you could be close to human again. You pull away almost as soon as you put his lips to yours and you can tell that the expression on your face is one of surprise.
Katsuki blinks for a second, looking at you with his brows knitted together. The expression doesn’t leave him as he places a wet hand on the side of your face to kiss you again. It’s an anxious kiss, confused and slow but—like someone riding a bike for the first time in years—it quickly becomes something familiar. Muscle memory that you both let yourselves sink into. 
You can feel his expression as he kisses you, something between confusion and desire, like his own actions are perplexing. You feel the same way, hesitant, but reaching in the dark for the promise of some sort of normalcy. You want to feel like a person again. You haven’t felt it in so long and you push yourself against him as the ache swells in you. 
The two of you continue like this for a moment, Katsuki’s fingers pressing lightly into the skin of your neck. You moan softly as his tongue slips into your mouth, taking a sharp inhale at the sensation of skin on skin. The sound of the creek drowns out the clicking of your mouths, but you can feel the way he hums into your mouth. They’re little sounds, involuntary ones driven by the nervous, desirous feelings inside of you both. 
Then, Katsuki pulls away, swallowing thick as he takes his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment. You appreciate the way they look. They’re swollen, anxious to continue and keep forgetting where you really are. He drops his hand from your face with a sigh and almost seems like he comes back to himself. You do the same, moving back into an upright position. 
“Denki will want that water soon,” he clears his throat and motions to the empty bucket by your feet. 
“Oh,” you say, laughing a little. “Right.” 
You stand, dusting off the back of your pants and dunking the bucket into the water. It sloshes, the liquid hitting the back of the plastic with a satisfying elastic sound. You begin to walk away without another word, heading down the way you came to climb up the gentler part of the slope. 
“Hey,” Katsuki calls softly. “You should stay. We talked it over last night. You can if you want to.” 
The last part, he says facing the wash, his hands moving as if he hadn’t said anything at all. You don’t respond, knowing that the obvious answer is already yes. 
Dread settles in your stomach. It’s an icky, swirling feeling that threatens to make you double over. You climb up the bank, the water in the bucket sloshing as you move through the trees and enter the clearing. The feeling doesn’t dissipate, growing as you leave the cover of the trees. You probably wouldn’t have kissed him if he’d asked you that earlier. 
The boarding house comes into view and you can see Denki sitting beside the generator, conversing with who appears to be Shoto. They turn and Denki waves you down, Shoto turning away and starting around for the front of the house. 
Denki jogs to meet you, taking the bucket from your hand. You flex your fingers as the weight is removed, wincing a little at how stiff they feel. 
“Jeez, what took you so long?” Denki laughs and with your new information, you understand his willingness to be friendly with you a little better. 
“I asked Katsuki for his life story,” you respond dryly, following him back to the generator. 
Denki looks over his shoulder and laughs at you. “Did he tell you?” 
You pause for a moment, watching as Denki unscrews something and pours the water in. 
“Nope,” you say. “Not a thing.”
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simpforsoap · 2 months
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Monsterous Lovers- Part 3
Here is par three! Little bit of a warning as there's some suggestive comments and drinking.
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Part 1 and Part 2
Vampric Protection Association. 
The stamp was large on the paper Price held in his hand. He had explained to Laswell that he needed a background check on someone he met, though he didn’t go into much details. Laswell was insistent to know why he needed the background check, but Price told her it was a house he was looking at and was on a need to know basis. 
Ghost stood over his shoulder, looking at the paper in Price’s hand. Laswell having dropped it off 15 minutes ago, but Price couldn’t get past that first page. The stamp took up the top right of the paper and after skimming it Price realized there wasn’t much else on it. No convictions, no criminal records, and nothing mentioning anything on you bring a hybrid. Though they knew the last piece of information already, between your scent and they way you carried yourself, they knew you were human. But it begged the question, just why was there the stamp on your background check? 
Price and Ghost stared at the paper in silence, a silent debate on whether or not to openly ask you about it while they moved in or should they wait until you were more comfortable before bringing it up. 
“Wouldn’t it be better to ask directly out of her?” Ghost’s tone was filled with indifference, an untrusting look in his eyes. 
Price knew it was too easy for Ghost to view his life as himself against the world, everyone a natural enemy to him. Price shook his head, leaning back in his chair with a cigar in his mouth, “I understand what you’re thinking, but it might be best to let her open about it to us before we bring it up. We don’t want to scare her off…without knowing what exactly happened it’s safe to assume there was an attack of some sort or something among those lines that caused it.”
Ghost only offered a small grunt in a reply. There was a silent agreement that they liked this little human, it seemed almost a bit too easy for them to trust her, but Ghost felt opposite. Though not given a reason not to trust you, there was no explicit reason to trust you either. 
But that sigil was a sign that there was a secret you had.
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It was difficult during the first week with them in your home, though you made it a point to remind them it was their own home as well. Every little crack or footstep in the house gave you a small sense of panic at first, too used to living on your own that mixing in four others into the home gave a small bit of panic. Soap and Gaz were quick to warm up to you and you them. They made it easy to get along with, which was exactly where you sat now. 
Soap had all but begged you that morning to join him and Gaz outside to watch them 'in action' as Soap called it. You smiled at your spot on the porch swing, blanket curled around your legs and cup of coffee in your hands. Soap and Gaz were in the field out front, the two of them playfully fighting with one another. 
Soap was a tad bigger than he usually is, you had watched him partially shift. His stature was larger than his usual frame, fangs dripping with saliva, the ears on the side of his head coming to a sharp point. You were a little surprised when you watched the slight transformation, the sound of bones cracking causing the hairs on your arms to rise. You watched Gaz’s quick movements, using his large and powerful wings to propel him up and over Soap every time Soap tried to tackle him down. Despite the growling, Soap had a large smirk on his face.
As you sat there watching, a small smile on your face hearing Gaz’s taunts and Soap's growling, the main door opened behind you. Looking up you gave a smile to Price seeing him walk out, “come to join?”
Price chuckled sofly, walking over to where you sat on the porch swing, taking a seat next to you, “surprised to see you up this early. They didn’t wake you right?”
You shook your head a bit, taking a small sip of your coffee as you adjusted in your seat, “no they didn’t. Though they did find me in the kitchen this morning, Soap all but begged me to watch them. Have to say, not what I was expecting.”
Price leaned back, his left wing hidden under his skin, an small habit he formed when around you. “Not surprising. He’s been asking me all week if it was something you’d be open to.”
You shook your head slightly, “this is your home as much as it is mine. You have a right to be comfortable as well.”
Price glanced at you, taking in the small details of you. Your hair slightly messy and pulled back from your face, the blanket tucked around your legs, the tired look in your eyes despite the content air you seemed to give off as you watch Soap and Gaz ‘train.’ He was quiet for a moment too long as you looked up and over at him, “you okay?”
Price gave a small smile, nodding, “yes, though I do want to say thank you.”
You shook your head, playfully rolling your eyes, “and like I told you the several times before, you don’t have to thank me. If anything, I should be thanking you. You’ve been a huge help to me.”
Price watched you for a moment more before shaking his head slightly and lighting up a cigar, “you’re a different human than we’ve ever met before.”
“Just because you can’t help the skin you’re born in, doesn’t mean you’re all that much different than me.” Your tone was soft, a smile on your face matching the words you spoke as you looked up at Price.
For the first time in a long time, Price had to swallow back a rumble in his chest, the beast under his skin lighting up at your words, “thank you, love. You have no idea what that means.”
You smiled, going back to watching Soap and Gaz in the field, drinking your coffee. Price felt his shoulders relax watching you out the corner of his eye.
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“You wanna what?” You stood there, blinking in shock up at Soap who smiled down at you.
Soap chuckled, “I want to take you out for dinner and drinks. Tonight…please lass?”
You blinked a few more times, glancing back at your messy room behind you then back at Soap, “when do you want to go?”
Soap tapped his chin, his tail swinging behind him with excitement, “how about in an hour? Gives you time to get dressed and whatever you girls do.”
“Okay..I’ll uh-I’ll get ready then.” You watched the smile spread across Soap’s face before he nodded and bounced off down the hallway. 
You stood there for a few more minutes before getting your ass in gear. Taking a quick shower, getting dressed and popping just a touch of make up on your face. You nervously slid a hoodie on, biting the inside of your cheek as you stood in the middle of the room before heading out and down the hall. 
Soap stood at the front door, watching as you walked down the stairs with a large smile on his face. Having already gotten approval from Price, without your knowledge of course, to take you into town for a few hours. It took a bit of convincing on Soap’s part, having to get past Price’s natural protective instincts over you, which only seemed to amp up since your interaction that morning. Soap promised to have you home by 10:30 and he didn’t dare plan to make a mess of the situation. 
Soap’s tail wagged behind him, a smile on his face as he held his clawed hand out to you, “ready to go? I got the car warming up for you.”
You took his hand, checking your pockets one more time for your wallet and phone before nodding, “yeah, I think so.”
He lead you out of the house, holding the door for you to go through first, giving an enthusiastic thumbs up to Gaz and Ghost who sat in the living room, watching the both of you exit the house. Ever the gentleman, Soap opened the car door for you, helping you in before running around to the driver’s side. You had sure to buckle your seatbelt, nerves dancing in your stomach as Soap peeled out of the driveway and down the road. 
You had a death grip on the door handle and Soap’s erratic driving, wide eyed as he looked over at you with a laugh, slowing down to a normal pace, “relax. Gotta keep captain on his toes somehow.”
You hesitantly let go of the doorhandle after a few moments, “right. Giving me a heart attack in the meantime.”
Soap laughed, shaking his head, “nah, I’d never do anything to hurt ya lass. Care too much for ya.”
You looked over at him, eyebrows furrowed, “care for me huh? Think you’re getting a bit soft there, soap.”
He smiled, relaxing in his seat, his grip loose on the steering wheel, “Johnny. You don’t have to call me soap. And yeah, I do care for ya. You’re apart of this pack now,”
“Johnny, huh? And here I thought you looked like a Michael.” You smiled laughing when he playfully growled.
“Ain’t no michael. Sheesh lass, you lost your marbles.” Johnny shook his head, a smile on his face despite his falsely grumpy tone.
You only laughed at that, shaking your head yourself. The ride to the bar was filled with soft music and playful banter between the both of you. Johnny took you to town, the bar he brought you to was one of the more hole in the wall ones, and you smiled at the familiar logo on it.
Johnny helped you out of the car, your arm looped in his as the both of you made your way inside. Johnny moving you both to the back corner boothe, the one shaped like a U, smiling cheekily at you when you gave him a playful glare, “had to get ye close to me now.”
You slid in the boothe, sitting in the back against the wall, Johnny nodding once you were settled, “now, I’ll get us drinks, what would you like?”
You set your phone face down on the table top, thinking about it for a moment before smiling at him, “how about one of their coconut margaritas?”
“You got it!” Johnny smiled excitedly making his way over to the bar letting you sit there for a moment.
Johnny wasn’t gone long, walking back over to the boothe, sliding in beside you setting your drink in front of you, beer in his hand, you gave him  a small thanks, taking a sip from it.
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The night was going great, filed with jokes and laughs. Johnny telling you all about his stories during missions, of course leaving out all the gruesome details and the pieces that were classified. In turn you told him a bit of your home life, how your parents left when you were three, leaving you to be raised by your grandparents. 
“So, when they died, I got to take over their property. The house we stay in now is actually a new build. I sold off their house, too many memories it was a bit painful to stay in it without them..a really lovely bunny couple bought it and had it moved to the east coast, and I took the money from the house, rented a small apartment here in town while they built it. Once done, I moved in with my ex.” You had a small sad smile on your face, your cheeks slightly flushed from the several drinks you had, Johnny’s arm sliding over your shoulders as he pulled you into his side.
“Must’ve been tough. You’re a strong human that’s for damn sure.” Johnny’s clawed hand rubbed your shoulder a bit, holding you close to his side, trying to ease up the scent of sadness on you.
You smiled shaking your head slightly, “didn’t feel very strong when he turned.”
Johnny’s head tilted slightly, looking at you, “turned?”
You looked up at him, blinking at the idea of spilling it so quickly before shaking your head, “yeah..my ex, Alex, he was a human like me. Worked at one of the construction sites here in town. We had just gotten engaged, went into the city to one of the fancy restaurants there to celebrate…dinner was great and all that but…at the end of the night there was some fight in the parking lot..he tried to break it up and…well turned out those people where vampires. One bit Alex and he went….crazy…attacked me in that parking lot…if it wasn’t for one of the couples inside coming out when they did I would’ve been dead…EMT’s took me to the hospital, wound up getting patched up there…bastard tried to rip my ribs out…but, I survived got enlisted under the vampire protection association…he’s spending life in jail now…”
“Oh, lass…” Johnny frowned, setting his beer down on the table as he turned to face you, hugging you close to his chest, despite the awkward angle, you leaned your head onto his shoulder, “you--”
You sighed, realzing at that moment you had tears on your face, “worst part of it was I had to show in court…bastard told me it was my fault for tempting him…to think I was gonna marry that asshole.”
Johnny was quiet for a moment before his hand cupped your jaw, having you look up at him, “none of that now, lass. You’re damn strong and it was never your fault.”
You looked up at him, leaning into his touch as your eyes fluttered, feeling his clawed thumbs gently brush the tears off your cheeks, “it’s been over a year now since then but…some times my sides still hurt…the memory still fresh..”
Johnny’s touch was soft, his ears slightly tilted back giving off his worried mood, “the thing about scars is they do fade…the memories get easier to deal with and eventually you don’t remember them in vivid detail..but now you have us. A badass harpy…a silent wraith…a huge dragon…and the biggest baddest wolf in the world by your side.” 
You smiled, a small chuckle leaving you as you looked up at Johnny, “thank you, Johnny…you have no idea what that means.”
Johnny smiled wide, “it’s no problem at all, lass. Now cheer up, I say we have another round!”
You couldn’t stop the laugh from leaving you seeing his enthusiasm, all to easy to relax with him around, “sure, whatever you say wolfie.”
Johnny laughed at your comment, shaking his head.
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The both of you stayed out far later than either of you planned to, the bar having to kick the both of you out. Both of you were drunk, sharing too many drinks between the both of you. Though the owner of the bar was nice enough to call you a taxi to get the both of you home. You laid on Johnny’s shoulder, smiles on both of your faces as you rode back to the house, Johnny tried talking with the cab driver, but after ten minutes of listening to Johnny’s drunken ramble, he shut the little window between the both of you. You could only laugh at Johnny’s pout, placing a sloppy kiss on his mouth to cheer him up, laughing when Johnny licked your cheek.
 As the both of you tumbled out of the taxi, you froze seeing Ghost standing on the porch with his arms crossed. Johnny looked up as you stopped pausing with a sheepish smile on his face, “Lt, what are you still doing up?”
Ghost sighed, walking down the steps and over to us, “you told him 10:30 Johnny. It’s three in the morning.”
You looked at Ghost with a small frown and before you could say anything, Johnny beat you to it, “I know I know, but she was having too much fun and we lost track of time. You sound like her dad, loosen up a bit”
Ghost sighed, shaking his head, you had to bite you lip to stop yourself from laughing at Johnny’s comment. You yelped when Ghost picked you up and over his shoulder and as Johnny laughed, Ghost did the same to him, “shut yer lot the both of ya.”
Ghost ignored Johnny’s whining and weak attempts at rebuttal as he carried the both of you in the house over his shoulders. Ghost dropped Johnny off at his room first, dropping him on his bed and throwing the blanket over him, “bed, Johnny.”
Johnny grumbled but was fairly quick to settle in bed, giving you a cheeky smile as he watched Ghost carry you out of Johnnys room and down the hall to your own. You were a little surprised when Ghost laid you in bed, a lot more gentle with you than he was with Johnny. Ghost took your shoes off and threw a blanket over you, “sleep. You’re gonna have a nasty hangover in the morning.”
You smiled drunkenly, sitting up in bed for a moment, cupping his masked cheek as you placed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, “thanks, Ghost.”
You stared down at you, watching as you rolled over and covered back up with your blanket. He stood there silently, listening to the way your breathing evened out before leaving your room, making sure to close the door softly behind him.
Ghost paused in the hallway, seeing Price standing there with a tired smile on his face, “thank you, Simon.”
Ghost said nothing walking to his room, only stopping when Price stretched his wing out to block his path, “it’s nothing, captain.”
Price smiled at him, looking at him quietly for a moment before putting a hand on his shoulder, “it’s okay to trust her simon…”
Ghost only sighed, looking at price, “I’m working on it.”
Price smiled taking a step towards him, pushing Ghost’s mask up and over his nose, rubbing his clawed thumb over Ghost’s lower lip, “nothing will change with us Simon.”
Ghost said nothing, but allowed his lips to partially part at Price’s touch, a silent invitation for more, “sir…”
There was always a silent exchange between the both of them, more words spoken in the soft touches than the words themselves, Price nodded motioning to his room, “come then, Simon. Let me help you.”
Ghost didn’t hesitate but more than a split second, allowing Price to lead him into his room, taking his mask off after the door shut behind Price.
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odoraful · 3 months
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Mortal Expertise
before his nightly patrol, xiao needs help from you to understand something he observed among mortals. 
word count: 1011 a/n: my wish is that we can all meet xiao again at the lantern rite event coming up; i miss him too much :'( this is my first post writing one of my favourite genshin characters, so i hope it's alright! will be writing lots more in the future ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و
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Xiao had been wiping his jade spear in the same spot for the past minute. You angled your book down and peered towards him, looking at his back as he sat on the side of the bed. 
Strange. Usually he’d be gone by now, you thought, turning a page and skimming over words that escaped your focus. Xiao was always efficient when preparing for his nights of patrol. No matter how many times he had gone out to vanquish the monsters that crept too close to Wangshu Inn or Qingce Village, his routine had never changed. Stranger still, he was deathly silent. This wouldn’t have been odd during those first few exchanges between you and him, where conversations had to be coaxed out of him through reassurances and almond tofu. However, with your growing relationship, he would always tell you what he saw on his trips out (in his own unembellished way).
“Did you see any crystalflies yesterday evening?” you asked, putting your book aside and swinging over to sit next to him. “The weather is warming up, so I imagine there must be lots of them out.” 
You tipped your head to try and see his eyes hidden behind his hair. Xiao gave an affirmative grunt. “Yes, I did.” His gaze never left the blade of his spear, fixated on his seemingly onerous polishing task. 
“Xiao, is there something wrong?” You put a hand on his forearm, immediately halting his movements. “You’re much quieter than usual, and your spear is so well-polished I can see your own reflection in it”. You chuckled, hoping to ease any tension. He softened at your concern.
“I’m alright, you needn’t worry. I just had something I need your… mortal expertise on.”
Ah, of course! You felt relieved. It was only natural for Xiao to be nervous about confiding that. He had only begun to be open about his curiosity with humans.
“There is a mortal tradition,” he began slowly, picking his words carefully. “When someone must leave their partner for the day, they usually engage in a kind of… affectionate physical exchange to mark their temporary absence.”
You paused. A physical exchange?
“Well, yes! Before they leave each other for a day, a couple will typically kiss each other,” you mused, “It’s seen as a romantic gesture since it signifies-”
You heard Xiao suck in a breath as he tipped his head forward, further blocking out your view of him. He held his face in one gloved hand. 
“I- I see,” he stuttered, the words tumbling out of him to prevent you from further elaborating. He suddenly stood up. His spear disappeared as he willed it away and he turned to face you. “Well then, I will be leaving for the night”. 
You had a clear view of him now. His cheeks were flushed a bright pink and his eyes darted everywhere besides your face. He finally risked a glance at you. Realisation suddenly hit you. 
“Xiao, are you asking for a kiss from me before you leave?” You couldn’t even finish the question without cracking a smile. You were practically beaming at him.  The weather tonight was warmer, but he felt like he was suddenly heating up at how brightly you grinned. 
“Perhaps, yes,” he admitted. Quickly, he followed by saying, “It was something I observed from afar from those similar to us in closeness, but you do not need to…”, his voice dwindled a little, “indulge me if you do not want to partake in similar actions”. 
You stood up, closing the gap between the two of you. Xiao was startled by your movements. 
“Your study of mortals is an accurate one indeed.” You wrapped your arms around his neck. A dangerously close distance that had Xiao holding his breath. His arms instinctively circled your waist. Xiao knew that he was, regrettably, a novice at these sorts of things. It brought a great struggle within him when he saw your hands resting idly against a railing, or your hair falling loose against your face. In his mind, he would picture holding your hand in his, or brushing your hair away, but when it came to actioning these moves, he felt flustered. The fear of making a wrong move was too great for him to do anything. However, he always found comfort in your words. 
‘Don’t force yourself, okay?’ You had told him this after one of the first times you suddenly hugged him, and he had stood stiffly in your arms. Xiao remembered mentally punching himself after the encounter. ‘We have all the time we need, there’s no rush.’
Could he be the one who initiated these types of things? He pictured himself leaning down and kissing you. Stealing the move away from you. There was no mistaking your intention in wanting this too. All he had to do was do it. Your voice brought him away from his thoughts. 
“And of course I’d like to kiss you!” You said fervidly. “You’re my partner, I’d do anything-”
Your words were cut off. Oh, was all that passed your mind when Xiao leaned in. Your mind spun. His lips were gentle against your own, but hesitant. His worries felt palpable against your skin. Slowly, you deepened the kiss. It was an assurance of many things. That you were proud of him for opening up to you, that he wasn’t messing anything up, that you were enjoying his company. His lips… are surprisingly soft… Did he apply some kind of balm to them beforehand!? 
Xiao’s heart hammered in his chest. He was beside himself with uncharacteristic elation. The only things he could sense now was the electricity between your bodies, and the subtle, violetgrass scent of your hair. He pulled away first, fearing that he would not be able to leave for patrol that night if he stayed. Looking into your eyes for any sign of disappointment, he saw only the way your eyes sparkled with delight. 
“I… I hope I didn’t scare you,” Xiao whispered, holding you tighter. “May I have another tomorrow night?”
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Siren
siren!yeosang x sirenhunter!reader
enemies to lovers au but with crack
genres and warnings: fluff, angst, violence warning, sorcerer san and sirenhunter jongho as side characters
word count: 27.8k (idky im still incapable of making shorter fics)
synopsis: yeosang is a siren and you're a siren-hunter. he may have lost his voice and you may be immune to a siren's call, but he has you bewitched anyway. on your journey together to find the sirens who killed your parents and took his voice, you make new friends, find yourself cursed and turning into a siren, and fall for yeosang. he proves time and time again that he's not the monster you thought all sirens to be as he helps you come to terms with yourself and find the person who cursed you.
manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (we fought over who writes a sea au first. now i'm traumatised and she learnt her lesson) (also firing you bc you 🔫 didn't proofread this)
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You couldn’t help but wonder just what was different about this part of the ocean because the sound of the waves crashing loudly was strangely calming. Maybe it was the lack of travellers or sailors here- after all, this area was considered remote. Maybe the humans had not polluted this part yet. Humans always left a trail behind them, and you couldn’t really spot any traces here.
Or maybe a kind soul was taking care of this place. As you walked with bare feet on the sand, long having ditched your sandals, the waves occasionally flowing to wash your feet, you noticed a few cabins and cottages in the distance-- someone must be living here. Maybe they knew how to treasure the land they dwelled on, the sea that they sailed in. You smiled to yourself, looking up at the sky, a lot clearer here than where you were coming from. The stars were more visible too, almost looking as if they were near- like all you had to do was jump to grab them. Even the wind smelt cleaner, containing traces of salt and mud, and-
Food. Your stomach rumbled at the thought and you rubbed it as if that would provide it any comfort. You haven't had a nice meal for a while now. You held the strap of your bag tighter in an attempt to distract yourself, glancing at your right and noticing a person walking along the shore lazily as if they had no worry in the world. You reckoned the person must be a resident here and decided to approach them, hoping to find a room for the night and a hot meal if you were lucky.
You jogged towards the person and when he turned, you said hi. “I was wondering if there are rooms available for the night? I’m leaving at the crack of dawn- I need to catch the first boat.”
“The first boat won’t leave until mid-afternoon,” he said and you involuntarily raised a brow at how different his voice sounded from his appearance- it was too much to process immediately. “As for a room… you can usually find them in town, but it’s far too late, isn’t it? And you look tired enough.”
You scanned him and you couldn’t help but notice just how beautiful he looked. There was no other way to explain his appearance- it was like he was crafted with special care. You frowned a bit, not detecting anything odd about him- was he human then? “Mid-afternoon, huh?” You looked around. “Might put a tent somewhere here then-”
“I can offer you a meal and a room… if you’d like,” he sounded cautious, scanning you again. “You shouldn’t be out alone at this hour-”
“I can take care of myself, thank you for the offer-”
“No, you really shouldn’t be out alone- not here,” he glanced at the sea and you understood. “You never know what creatures prowl in the dark.”
You realised he was right- a lack of humans meant more room for other creatures. Your stomach growled again at the thought of a meal and he looked pointedly at you. “You can find a room in town too after you eat something because I can hear your stomach loud and clear-”
“Alright,” you laughed awkwardly. “Thank you. Please, after you.”
He passed a warm smile and you followed him, glancing at the cottage he pointed to- it looked quite homey. You reckoned that if he didn’t find anything odd about the bow and arrows hanging at your back, he didn’t really have any qualms about inviting you to his cottage. You commented on how pretty it was and he thanked you, guiding you inside the warm living room and asking you to wait while he heated up the cinnamon rolls he had baked earlier. You dropped your stuff in a corner and looked around.
“Are you a sailor too?” You asked, noticing the compasses and scrolls on the fireplace mantel.
“Not my occupation but I do travel around,” he said. “You don’t mind fish stew, do you?”
“Nope,” you observed the strange wall hangings- you had travelled around the continent for years but you had never seen such ornaments- beads, pearls, shells and plants intertwined in an intricate pattern. “Where did you get these?”
“I made them,” he started setting the table, motioning for you to join him. “I learned from an elder a while ago.”
You made an impressed face and sat across from him, taking in his otherworldly features again now that you could actually see him clearly. He had highlights in his hair, perhaps from the sun, and you noticed a red mark on his temple. You thanked him for the meal before digging in.
“So what’s your name?” You asked.
“Yeosang,” he said. “And you are?”
You told him your name. “Do you travel around a lot?” 
He nodded. “I have, uh… relatives who are scattered across the sea. I sometimes go to visit them. What brought you here, though? We don’t get a lot of visitors here.”
“I have someone I need to find too.”
“Family?”
“Nah, they’re long gone,” you told him. “Just… some people I’ve been trying to find for a while. They know about my family. Must be on one of the islands around somewhere.”
“I hope you find them,” he pursed his lips. “It must be lonely travelling alone all the time.”
“Yeah, but I make friends everywhere,” you chuckled. “Going back to them is nice.”
“Do you know anyone around here then? Propus is a small town.”
“Not really,” you told him, finishing eating and he poured you water. “I just arrived here an hour ago and walked around trying to find a room, but…”
“My offer stands,” he passed you the cinnamon rolls. You narrowed your eyes.
“Feels like you’re bribing me- is there anything you’d like in return?”
He laughed out loud and you couldn’t help but smile at how beautiful he sounded- he seemed less and less human with every passing second, even though you couldn’t find any characteristic feature that could indicate he might be someone else- a merman, perhaps? But they didn’t live on land- he looked human. A sorcerer then? “Nothing. I might put a board outside and call it an inn now. I just like having visitors- they always leave something behind, don’t they?”
“Like what?”
“A memory, a lesson,” he shrugged.
“You’re strange,” you told him. “Well, I think your business might run well. You make excellent food.”
He smiled shyly at that. You sighed deeply. “And I’m far too tired so a room sounds nice. I’ll pay you in the morning, though.”
“No, it’s okay-”
“Please, I wouldn’t want to be a burden,” you got up, gathering the dishes. “Consider me the first guest of your business.”
He grinned at that, turning to place the dishes in the sink and you noticed a strange glow on his temple, right where the red mark was. “Is that… a birthmark?”
“Ah, this?” He pointed at his temple. “Yeah, I guess. I’ve always had it.”
“It’s pretty,” you told him, gathering your stuff and he guided you upstairs to an empty room with a bed and a dresser. 
“You can relax and get some sleep- the boats start sailing in the afternoon.”
“Got you,” you said. “I’ll wait for you- I hope you won’t mind guiding me to the nearest weapons shop in the morning? I need to restock the arrows.”
“Of course,” he glanced at the weapons by your bedside. “You’re not a pirate, are you?”
You laughed. “Just a lone traveller- I should protect myself.”
“Good,” he gave you a thumbs-up, saying goodnight before closing the door behind him and leaving. You relaxed, glad that you found a welcoming person tonight. Years of travelling made you good at finding such people.
You quickly washed up and prepared to sleep, stuffing your old clothes in the bag and wondering if you should do some laundry while you were here. You opened the window, the waves and air producing an odd harmony as they clashed-
No.
It wasn’t the sound of the air or the melody of the ocean. It sounded like the call of a siren.
But a siren so close to land? It wasn’t possible.
You took a deep breath, your instincts taking the better of you as you grabbed your bow and quiver, opening the door and halting again- it had to be the song of a siren, but it was being hummed very lightly, and…
It didn’t sound like it was coming from outside.
Not trusting your own senses, you went back inside your room towards the window, peeking out and finding no one in the vicinity. You couldn't locate the source or the distance, so you decided to go downstairs after hiding one of your daggers in your sleeves. You treaded lightly down the stairs, pausing when you found the front door open-
And Yeosang outside, looking absolutely ethereal while he hummed that song.
The song of the sirens.
It didn’t make any sense- sirens couldn’t leave the sea. Sirens had evolved over the years, appearing almost human-like, yes, but… Yeosang wasn’t a siren, was he? He didn’t look anything like a siren. He didn’t sound like a siren- yes, he was singing the song of the sirens that you recognised but it wasn’t luring you. You were immune to the songs but even then, being in the vicinity of sirens would always cloud your mind, but this time… 
You were very well in your own senses.
You gripped the dagger tighter, watching Yeosang hum the song as he knitted, his fingers working with expertise. You stepped closer, not daring to breathe any louder, but his shoulders suddenly stiffened as he paused.
“For someone who hunts… your stealth could improve.”
You remained where you were. “What are you?”
He continued knitting and you watched him break the thread with his teeth before he turned to face you, not even flinching at the sight of your dagger. “What are you? Why are you going around the sea with only bows and arrows? Humans belong on the land, not the sea.”
“How do you know the call of the sirens?”
“And how would you know what the call of the siren sounds like?” He narrowed his eyes and now that the moonlight hit the side of his face, the red ‘birthmark’ glowed- no, reflected the moonlight like scales-
The scales- the skin of a siren.
Before you knew it, your dagger was flying out of your hand, aimed for this forehead. He dodged it as if he had seen it coming, the dagger landing on the floor with a clang and he glared at you. “I will pretend that didn’t just happen.”
You were already aiming your arrow at him. “You’re a siren.”
“Come on,” he raised his hands in the air. “Do I really look like one? Or sound like one?”
You didn’t respond, waiting for him to make one wrong move, positive he couldn’t deflect these enchanted arrows that would always meet their target. He turned back, gathering his stuff as if an arrow pointed towards his heart didn’t bother him at all. “You’re not singing anymore.”
“If I was really a siren, my song would have lured you. You wouldn’t be standing here with an arrow aimed at me, miss. You must know that- you seem to know a lot about sirens.”
“Of course I know. I’m a siren-hunter, after all.”
This time, he froze for a good few seconds and you expected to see surprise on his face but instead, when he turned, his eyes were filled with curiosity. “Siren-hunter, you said? You’re not the infamous reaper, are you? You must be the marauder”
“And?”
He smirked dangerously. “There is a way you can pay me back for letting you stay the night here- and ignoring that disrespect,” he told you. “You see, I need to hunt some sirens too.”
“But you’re a siren-”
“And? Can’t a siren hunt another siren?”
You finally lowered your bow. “Are you really a siren?”
“I was, once,” his eyes glinted. “I’m more human now. They took my voice.”
You gulped. “They took your voice? How can they do that? Is that even possible?”
“It is, apparently,” he sank down in his chair as if disappointed. “I’ve been outcasted.”
“But why would they do that to their own kind?” You scoffed. “Aren’t you sirens a very tight-knit community or something?”
“They are, until one of them does something they weren’t supposed to do,” he sounded grim. “Not all sirens wish to eat humans, you see? Maybe I like chicken better.”
You groaned out loud. “You’re not making any sense- ” you took a seat in front of him, the arrow still lodged in the bow. “Just answer me- you’re a siren but you’re…”
“I am a siren, but I cannot lure humans anymore,” he admitted. “I never wanted to do that anyway. They took my voice because I didn’t act like a ‘normal’ siren.”
“Damn,” you muttered. “And you want to hunt some sirens? The ones that took your voice?”
“Yes,” he nodded firmly. “I could have gone on my own, but I had a feeling… that I should wait. Wait for someone like you to come.”
“How did you know I was a siren-hunter?”
“I wasn’t sure at first- I thought you were a fanatic or something, until I sang and you came armed to the teeth,” he tsk-ed. “Is that how you treat someone who gives you shelter?”
You ignored that, scanning him once again- there was a reason why he looked too beautiful to be a human after all. “What do I get out of our deal?”
“You mentioned something about finding someone, didn’t you?” Yeosang hooked one leg over the other, appearing extremely interested in your story. “There’s no relatives out there, isn’t that so? You must be hunting the sirens who killed someone you loved.”
“It’s obvious, huh?” You looked away from his tantalising gaze. “You’ll help me locate those sirens and in return, you want me to help you hunt your sirens. How do I know you won’t turn on me?”
“How do I know you won’t kill me?” He looked pointedly at your bow. “I can fight just as good as you. I cannot lure you, I cannot eat you- but to be fair, I wouldn’t have eaten you even if I was a siren. You don’t look appetising.”
You gaped at the siren- the man in front of you. Unbelievable. 
“Just because I agree and we might strike a deal,” you said and got up, lowering your bow and he got up as well, waiting to hear the rest, “doesn’t mean I trust you, okay?”
“Likewise, human,” he said and you almost felt as if he were looking down on you. You glared at him for a few moments, wondering what to do.
“You’re still taking me to the weapons shop tomorrow, by the way. As a siren, you must know which arrows hurt the most.”
Yeosang smirked. “You should get something for close combat too. You never know when you might find a siren in your proximity,” he stepped closer and you tightened the grip on your bow. “The call of sirens might not work on you but you never know when your incantations slip.”
You raised a brow in question but he simply passed you, purposely bumping his shoulder with yours and you watched him disappear in his room before going up with heavy steps to your own room, wondering if you had really made the right decision. Could you trust a siren?
Just what had you signed up for?
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“You know, for a siren, you’re awfully unaware of your surroundings,” you commented as you watched Yeosang trip on a rock for the second time on your way to the weapons shop in the town. Yeosang glared at you.
“If you can’t tell already, sirens aren’t meant for the land.”
“You seemed to be doing awfully well though,” you muttered. “Almost believed you were just a loner with a cottage on the beach with a thing for baking.”
“Gotta lure the humans somehow-”
Before you knew it, you were clutching his collar and the tip of your dagger was digging into the crook of his neck. Yeosang laughed loudly, making the passersby frown at your exchange. “Relax. I haven’t eaten a human in decades.”
“Not helping,” you practically growled, pushing him away before continuing walking. Yeosang didn’t seem offended- his cocky smile only grew wider as he tried to match his pace with yours. You narrowed his eyes at him- what he said sounded like the truth, but just what exactly did he do for the sirens to take his voice and make him turn to the land and live as a human, among humans? Why did the townspeople greet him with smiles and offer him their food? Had he somehow charmed them? 
Yeosang spotted you standing awkwardly by the pillar of the shop in the corner while he helped an old woman carry some bags into her shop. The woman patted his arm and Yeosang bowed, politely refusing the fruits she offered as a token of gratitude. Yeosang jogged back to you and pointed towards the north where the weapons shop was located.
“What are you, some philanthropist?” You scoffed. “Charmed your way into the town, haven’t you?”
“No one can resist my charms even when I’m human,” he simply said. “Admit it. You were bewitched into staying the night too. No amount of incantations and spells could have made you resist my natural- “
“Okay, that’s enough,” you warned, wondering if that was the truth and then scolding yourself internally for doubting yourself- you only accepted his offer because he seemed like an okay person. You trusted your gut-
How did your gut not warn you of his nature? 
“Are you like… a human now?” You asked him. “I mean… you don’t look like a siren even in your appearance.”
“The longer I live without activating my siren powers, the more human I will become,” he said. “And it’s not just my appearance. I will eventually lose my powers too.”
“Just how long have you been living as a human then?”
“Long enough to age,” he muttered, walking ahead of you and asking you to wait while he checked if the weapons shop was open. “Come inside- and please be civil. I have a reputation to maintain.”
You made a face, the question you had been wanting to ask at the tip of your tongue. You swallowed it though and entered with a smile, greeting the owner with a bow.
“Young miss, what are you looking for?”
You extracted an arrow from the quiver- the one you had gotten from the person who put the spell on you and made you immune to the sirens’ song. The man examined the carving on the arrow and made an impressed face. “This is a rare one. Where did you get that?”
“It was a gift,” you told him and Yeosang looked suspiciously at you. “An arrow like this is very hard to find on this continent, isn’t that so?”
“The ebony wood used to make this arrow is very rare,” the man returned your arrow. “And unfortunately, that tree does not grow in this continent. You will have better luck finding objects made of this wood at the place where its trees grow.”
“But it’s very difficult to cross the sea,” you looked pointedly at Yeosang who pretended to be interested in the ceiling.
“You seem like a person who could cross the sea,” the man smiled knowingly. “Anything else you might need?”
“Well, Yeosang? What weapon do you suggest I should get for close combat?”
Yeosang coughed a bit before glaring at you and asking the owner, “Can we have a look at the longswords?”
~
About an hour later, with a surprisingly cooperative yet still cocky Yeosang, you were having lunch at a pub in the heart of the town. The atmosphere was lively with sailors eating their fill before they prepared to take off and Yeosang ordered a bunch of food-
“Don’t think I’m doing you a favour here. I want to eat. You can have a little if you want to.”
You rolled your eyes- you still weren’t sure what Yeosang’s approach towards you was supposed to be- did he hate you or did he simply not care, purposely riling you up whenever he could? You glanced at the longsword now resting next to the wall- Yeosang and the owner had helped you find the perfect weight you could carry and the blade was sleek, the hilt firm in your grip. It was perfect for you. 
“I wonder if your blood will be the first to taint my sword.”
Yeosang almost choked on his soup. “All my help for nothing, huh?”
“Why would you even help a siren-hunter find the perfect weapon to kill sirens?” You asked. “Do you really hate them that much?”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong- we’re only hunting a selective few,” he reminded you of your deal. “You’ll help me find the ones who took my voice, and I’ll help you find the ones you’re after. We’re not going on a killing spree. Besides, the existence of sirens is essential for natural selection and maintaining a balance in the ecosystem-”
“Stop quoting school books to me,” you scoffed. “What if some random siren comes after me?”
“I’ll protect you,” he said, “so you don’t need to worry about that. Remember- we accomplish our goal first before you resume your stupid siren-hunter job-” 
Your heart may have fluttered for a second but he continued, “-which, I must point out, makes no sense. Why would you go around targeting all of the siren community? Why did you become a siren-hunter?”
“Why do you sirens go around hunting humans then?” You countered. “Humans only wish to sail the sea freely.”
“And sirens only wish to live without their homes being polluted. So do the merpeople. You don’t seem to hold a grudge against them. Aren’t they more frequently killing humans than sirens?”
“Everyone is killing everyone,” you sighed deeply. “I don’t go around killing sirens just because I’m immune to the call of the sirens now. I only protect myself while I try to find the ones who… the ones who killed my family.”
Yeosang didn’t respond to that, putting some kimchi on your rice bowl and you chuckled lightly at that. “An eye for an eye, huh?”
“Why do you want to kill the sirens who took your voice?”
“Because even if I do not wish to use it, they stole a part of me.”
“Do you wish to become a siren again?” You wondered out loud. “Getting your voice back will make you a siren, won’t it?”
“I am a siren, sweetheart. I still am. And you should be glad you’re immune to the song of the sirens because if you weren’t and you heard me humming last night? I’m not sure we would be here right now.”
You gulped at his confession. “So you can still lure humans?”
“I haven’t tested it, but one time, someone accidentally heard me hum a song- after I lost my voice,” he admitted. “I thought it didn’t affect them. They appeared normal enough to me. But the next day… I learned that they drowned themself. I stopped singing after that.”
“If you knew that… why did you sing last night, knowing I could hear you?”
“Because I recognised that arrow,” he pointed at your quiver, the arrow you had shown the owner at the weapons shop. “The ebony wood is fatal to sirens. I knew who you were instantly, I was just praying you weren’t the sadistic siren-hunter of the two.”
You scoffed in disbelief. “Do you realise what would have happened if I turned out to be the ‘sadistic’ siren-hunter- the reaper- who I’m sure every siren has heard of? Who has terrorised every creature in the sea, not just sirens?”
“Well… I didn’t think that far,” Yeosang shrugged. “And I don’t think planning that far would have mattered anyway-”
“You’re kidding,” you laughed in disbelief. “You risked your life and hummed like an idiot hoping I would be the nicer siren-hunter of the two?”
“Honestly, you don’t look like a siren-hunter at all,” Yeosang pointed out. “So of course I took my chance.”
You shook your head in disbelief, finishing your food and splitting the bill because you told him you did not want him to have any more ideas about you- you also told him you were debating calling off the deal because you weren’t sure you could ever find your sirens when he was this reckless. He only laughed it off and you both went back to his cottage, packing your bags and preparing to leave.
“What weapons do you possess to guard yourself?” You asked Yeosang, noticing a lack of weapons on him. “Did you hide your daggers in your bag or something? Because you won’t have time to get anything out of the bag if you come across the better siren-hunter out of us two- or what if I decide to attack you in the middle of the night, huh? Are you taking me easy-”
“Stop rambling,” Yeosang scolded, waving at a man standing near a ship by the docks. “It’s only going to be the two of us, right? No sailor?”
“I’m sure we both can manage,” you said and he nodded, asking you to wait while he went to talk to the sailor. He returned with a smug face, pointing at a-
“There’s no way I’m sailing in that piece of trash-”
“How dare you call my boat a piece of trash-”
“It’ll attract too much attention!” You almost shouted. “And honestly? It looks like it will fall apart at any moment.”
You weren’t wrong. The boat had odd planks nailed to it at multiple spots and the reason you realised it was Yeosang’s personal boat was because of the familiar hangings on the boat. It was spacious enough for only the two of you and you weren’t sure it could withstand a still sea let alone crashing waves. You turned towards Yeosang, “Listen to me. We’re travelling in the sea, okay? You might be able to breathe underwater and swim like a fish but I’m human.”
“Alright,” Yeosang groaned. “I hear you. Let’s just begin on this boat- we’re travelling along the continent for now, yeah? The moment we feel this boat is about to give in, we can dock wherever we are and find someone to travel with.”
“Or we could ask someone here-”
“I said it before- I have a reputation and a life here and I will not let you tarnish it.”
“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes. “I will use you as a boat if your boat decides to dismantle in the middle of the sea.”
Yeosang muttered something under his breath that you chose to ignore and you hopped on the boat after him, fearing this would be your last trip in the sea- you probably wouldn’t even make it very far. With a groan, you grabbed one of the oars and the two of you started rowing your boat away from the docks and you both made a bet on how far you could make it.
You only made it to the neighbouring city of Alhena which you would be bordering as you sailed further around the continent. For now, the two of you needed a place to stay after having rowed and complained incessantly for more than half a day. Yeosang asked if you had ever been to Alhena and you told him you had been everywhere, which was true. 
“How come you never found your sirens then?” He asked when you settled down at an inn for dinner, having dumped your bags in your separate rooms. “Where did you lose your family?”
You rested your elbows on the table, sighing deeply. “Near Mesarthim Island. We were on the way there from Denebola.”
“Ah, the island,” Yeosang stuffed his mouth with chicken, lost in thought. “I used to live there once.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “As a siren?”
“In the sea, yes,” Yeosang nodded, raising his brows as he looked at the chicken on his plate. “You should try this- it’s amazing.”
You obeyed, nodding along as you ate the chicken, wondering what it meant if Yeosang used to live near Mesarthim too- you had been siren hunting for four years now and you knew that there was only one spot around Mesarthim that hosted sirens- unless something had changed very recently. But if Yeosang was one of the sirens there…
That could only mean he was somehow involved in that attack that killed your parents, or he was related to the sirens that did. 
And him helping you find those sirens… this could be a trap.
You finished your food quietly, nodding along to whatever Yeosang had to say before going to your room and counting your arrows. You pursed your lips- you had to get more ebony arrows before you would finally go to kill those sirens. 
But for now, you had one, and if Yeosang dared to try anything… 
Would you kill him and risk losing the arrow? Risk losing perhaps your only tool of revenge?
If Yeosang noticed the change in your demeanour the next morning, he didn’t comment on it, which made you even more suspicious. You told him you were going to the docks to find someone with a better boat and he said he would join you soon- he had some business in the market. You debated following him and keeping an eye on him but you figured you should solve the bigger problem first.
The docks in Alhena were much livelier than the docks in Mebsuta- a variety of boats, yachts and ships were lined across the docks and the harbour in the distance. You decided a sturdy boat would do- a small but enchanted boat would be your best find. Something that could withstand the storm and the harsh waves…
You spotted a man not far from you dragging some ropes, his get-up screaming sailor, yet there was something different about him. As if having sensed someone staring at him, he turned and passed you a smile. “Looking for a ride?”
You noticed the ink on his neck hidden by the scarf wound around it. “Where are you sailing to?”
“Wherever the waves take me,” he threw the ropes on his boat- the boat looked okay too. “Where are you headed to?”
“Sheratan,” you told him- the city closest to Mesarthim Island.
“You’re travelling a long way,” he scanned you. “Are you alone?”
“I have someone with me,” you said and he considered. While you negotiated the price, you scanned his broad figure and recognised the mark on his neck as the one that sorcerers wore and wondered if it was a good idea to bring a sorcerer into the equation- you were already dealing with a siren-
“Yes, I’m a sorcerer,” he laughed when he noticed your gaze stuck on his neck. “Does that bother you?”
“Not at all,” you assured him. “My experience with sorcerers has been… good.”
“Glad to hear,” he offered his hand and you shook it, calling it a deal. “My name is San. Our stop is Sheratan, but if you’d like to travel after, I can offer you my boat. My life is on the sea.”
“I like that,” you grinned. “I’m y/n. And…” you noticed the familiar figure approaching you. “That’s Yeosang. Don’t mind him, he’s a bit… odd.”
“Ah…” San frowned as Yeosang drew nearer. “He’s not human.”
“Believe it or not, that’s not what makes him odd,” you told him and he shrugged, hopping on the boat and telling you he was ready whenever you were.
“That’s a… good ride you got,” Yeosang said, hands on his hips as he took in the boat- spacious enough for three with a cabin.
“Admit it, it’s better than yours. Far better,” you scoffed.
“Mine was prettier,” he muttered, raising the bags in his hands. “I got us some food.”
“That’s a lot of food,” you took in the sheer number of bags in his hands. “I thought you were going to uh… catch fish on our way there? You can fish, right? Don’t you sirens have claws or something?”
Yeosang glared at you. “If I grow some back when we’re in the middle of the sea… you’ll know.”
You pretended to be scared before jumping on the boat and taking the bags from him, storing them in the cabin. Yeosang went to talk to the sorcerer and you noticed them discussing sailing strategies. You figured as a siren, he probably knew more about the sea than any sailor out there, though it must have been a while since he last navigated the seas. You wondered if he would start to look more like a siren as you stayed longer in the sea-
Could you stomach the sight of him as a siren? Sirens were, after all, the product of your nightmares.
“We’re steering west to avoid the Mesarthim coast,” Yeosang let you know, tossing an apple which you caught, lying back on the bags you had shaped as a couch. “It shouldn’t take too long given the weather remains clear.”
“And what exactly can we expect while on our journey?” You asked. You had sailed around your continent by yourself, yes, but you had never travelled across the ocean.
“Sirens, of course, and then the merpeople… water dragons if we’re unlucky. Pirates maybe. You’ll be surprised to hear that sirens aren’t the worst of these.”
You reluctantly agreed- the pirates were the ones you should avoid at all costs. You thought that it was ironic that you had to worry more about humans than the other sea creatures. San appeared out of the cockpit and said, “Our journey begins now. It shouldn’t take us more than four days to cross the ocean given that we don’t encounter, uh, any unexpected guests,” he looked pointedly at Yeosang who you were sure didn’t get the message. “Shall we begin?”
“Aye, Captain,” you saluted and San chuckled at that, disappearing back inside. Yeosang began to set up his space at the bow of the boat, arranging bags as pillows to rest against. You opted to watch the sorcerer instead, who was currently muttering something under his breath as he ran two fingers along the wheel, probably an incantation for the boat to stay on track. You had seen that before so satisfied, you began setting up your own corner, not much you could use to set camp unlike a certain someone-
“It’s only four days,” you couldn’t hold back. Yeosang looked like he had brought everything of importance from home, which was a bit too much.
“Yes, but I’m finally home,” Yeosang replied, his skin glowing at the temple with an almost blue sheen. “You won’t understand.”
You didn’t want to, so you only shrugged and let him do his thing. The sea… was it your home? For about a decade now, ever since your parent’s deaths, you practically lived on the sea. Sure, the land was where your ‘home’ was but you had always preferred the sea, even before the creatures of the sea stole a part of you.
You shut your eyes though you knew you couldn’t sleep right now. You simply let the sound of the waves and the gentle rocking lull you into a different headspace where there were no worries. Perhaps, that was what you liked so much about the sea- here, without anything holding you back, you could dream of what could have been or what could be. At this moment, you had no concerns, no worries, no expectations until you would reach land. Right now… you were free. 
The sound of shuffling made you open one eye and you were a bit surprised to see it was almost dark. San looked at you for permission before sitting next to you.
“So… is our siren going to catch dinner for us or what?”
“I can hear you,” Yeosang mumbled and you snorted- was he trying to sleep or was he just pretending, like you?
“This siren is a good-for-nothing,” you whispered, making the sailor smile. “But it looks like he looted the market before settling here, so shall we prepare dinner?”
San agreed and the two of you went to search through the shopping bags, finding an odd variety of ingredients but still managing to make a decent meal of bread, fruits and nuts, and soup from the inn that San helped heat up. Yeosang looked proudly at the spread and you scoffed.
“You look pleased,” you commented. “Must thank you for the dinner. I thought I was going to get to eat some seafood thanks to you, but… I guess I’ll have to wait until I reach land.”
“I don’t think I’ll have to wait until land to eat some humans though,” Yeosang’s eyes glinted and San coughed to interrupt.
“So, how did a… siren? And a human? End up together in my boat?” San sounded unsure of what you two were, and for right reasons. “I kind of doubt you’re human.”
You frowned. “I am. I’m the marauder. You must have heard about me if you travel a lot.”
“The siren-hunter on an endless journey. I suspected,” he nodded. “I’m just wondering why a human would travel with a siren willingly. If… Yeosang really is a siren, though he doesn’t look or sound like one.”
“He's a siren,” you confirmed, glancing at Yeosang. “He just… got used to pretending that he’s human.”
“For your information,” Yeosang began. “I’ve always been like this. You think what sirens do all day is wait by the rocks for a human and sing?”
“That’s unfortunately what we’ve heard,” San looked amused, “but I’m willing to learn more.”
Yeosang looked disappointed. “You’re humans. You can never know the extent of what the ocean contains. The sirens are devoted to exploring more of the ocean and clearing it of potential threats-” Yeosang looked pointedly at you. “You humans think you’re the only one who does the work around here.”
“Yes, we’ve heard all about the ‘ecosystem’ too,” you retorted. “If the sirens and merpeople could leave the humans alone, maybe we wouldn’t think we’re the only ones doing the work around here. Sirens don’t have to eat humans to live.”
Yeosang smirked faintly and you wondered what he was hiding- or if he was doing that on purpose. He turned his attention to San. “It’s been a while that I’ve been on sea, so what can we expect on our way to Sheratan?”
“I’ll try to steer us as further away from the Mesarthim territory as I can, because that’s the problematic area,” San began and you nodded- you had heard enough tales about the abundance of wild sea creatures there who left no chance to hunt humans. “If you’re a siren, you can probably sense the presence of a threat better than the two of us, so I’ll have to depend on you a little.”
“And if he doesn’t warn us, we’ll just throw him into the sea. He can swim to Sheratan then,” you concluded and San stifled his smile as Yeosang rolled his eyes.
“And if you don’t behave, I’ll gladly hand you over to the pirates because I have a feeling that we will encounter them. Can you believe it?” Yeosang pointed at you as he looked at San. “I offered her shelter in my house and this is how she treats me.”
“His kind killed my family,” you told San.
“Humans are after sorcerers all the time, but we don’t hold grudges,” San shrugged and Yeosang clapped in approval. “But how did you survive if sirens attacked your family?”
“I don’t really remember,” you admitted. You knew you chose to forget some parts of it- it wasn’t the best memory after all. Sometimes, you tried to recall the events of that night but you could never see past the way one of the sirens locked eyes with you as it sank its teeth into your mother’s neck-
“That’s okay,” San started clearing the table, noticing how you zoned out for a moment. “If you’re only targeting the sirens who killed your family, that’s fine. But don’t be surprised if the siren community decides to target you.”
“I’m already targeted. They remember me,” you told them and even Yeosang looked surprised. “The last thing I remember from that night is one of the sirens telling me that they would wait for me. That they would never forget me. There’s a reason I couldn’t let it go and live like a normal human,” you got up, brushing your clothes. “If they’re after me… I can return the favour.”
You took the dishes from San and went towards the kitchen, leaving Yeosang staring at your figure, a faint realisation scratching at his brain, dots starting to connect. 
It was too much of a coincidence, he thought. The last words that you heard from that siren…
He remembered them.
—-----------------------------
Yeosang was realising that there was far more to your story than you were letting them know. He was confused after your statement from a couple nights ago when you said the sirens were already targeting you, and he wondered if you believed that because it was the last words you heard from the siren or if they were actually after you, because if that was the case…
That meant trouble. If a siren spotted him with a human, much less a siren-hunter? Yeosang already had a bad reputation among the sirens. 
And then there was the matter of you and Yeosang unintentionally, coincidentally targeting the same sirens. He thought about it all night and he was almost sure it had been his family who killed yours. Because he had been there. He had witnessed all of it.
And he couldn’t let you know.
It was good- you were going to kill two birds with one stone. He just hoped you wouldn’t have to find out about him being one of the sirens present when your parents were killed. Those very sirens had taken his voice too. If you were out to kill them, so be it. He would help you, but he would have to stay lowkey. If they found out Yeosang himself was helping the infamous siren-hunter…
He shivered at the thought, prompting you to stop your longsword practice and glance at him. “Feeling cold already? We’re miles away from Sheratan.”
It was usually snowing in Sheratan, but that wouldn’t affect him too much. “If sirens felt cold, they wouldn’t be spending their whole lives on the sea.”
“True,” you nodded, swinging your sword once again, testing its weight. “But aren’t you… a little human now?”
“Is cold the only reason humans shiver?” Yeosang wondered. “Maybe I sensed something strange- ah. I did.”
You turned your attention towards him, taking a look around. “What is it?”
“Humans,” Yeosang dropped the ball of yarn he had been playing with, shifting so he could stare into the distance. As if on cue, San popped out of the helm and found you looking through the lens of your telescope.
“Pirates,” you tsk-ed. “Two days and we’re already in trouble.”
“I’ll speed the boat away as much as I can,” San announced. “Pirates usually have a few sorcerers on board too so I don’t think we can really avoid an encounter at this point… we might have to negotiate.”
“Can we offer him in case they want something?” You pointed at Yeosang who looked amused.
“Good luck finding your sirens after I’m gone,” he simply said and you made a face, knowing it was the truth. 
“Shit, I gotta protect you then,” you muttered. “The pirates will think you’re the treasure if they find a siren without its voice.”
“Ah, how the tables have turned,” Yeosang got up to join you, taking the telescope and trying to get an idea of how much time he had to plan something. “Well, lucky for you, I can still breathe underwater. As soon as they’re in your vision, let me know and I’ll just dive into the sea. You both can negotiate on your own then.”
“And if we find ourselves in trouble?”
“Then you know that I haven’t lost my voice completely,” he leaned in to whisper in your ear, making you shiver this time. “Cold?”
You pushed Yeosang away, wondering how immune you really were to the song of the sirens if his normal voice was making you react this much. Yeosang laughed to himself as he went to hide his belongings in the secret compartment of the boat. You stationed yourself at the bow, waiting for the pirate ship to become visible through the fog. The boat sped and started sailing further north-east but the ship was becoming more visible with each passing second and Yeosang started taking off the layers of clothing-
“Woah, woah,” you fanned yourself, unable to hide the heat creeping up your cheeks as you got a peek at his sculpted body- there was no way you were going to drool for a siren. “A little shame would do you no harm.”
Yeosang tsk-ed. “I would like to come back to dry clothes, thank you very much,” he bundled his clothes, thankfully keeping the pants on, tossing them to you with a wink. “Be back soon.”
With that, he dived into the sea and you watched him disappear into the dark depths of the ocean. When your heart rate steadied a bit (you made a mental note to think about why your heart couldn’t handle a half-naked siren), you stuffed his clothes in your bag and went inside the cockpit, taking control of the boat while San went outside to deal with the pirates who were now in your vision.
You could hear the low rumbling of their laughter as a few of them jumped on your boat, passing you sleazy looks. You ignored them, slowing the boat as instructed by San. 
“Fancy seeing you here, Choi San,” one of them said. You wondered if he was an acquaintance but San didn’t look too pleased to see them. Maybe they had met in a similar encounter before. “You’ve got a guest, it seems. Only one?”
“Only her,” San said. “We’re going to Sheratan. What about you?”
“Sailing around the continent,” the man adjusted his sword hanging by his side. “Anything of interest you heard or seen lately?”
“Nothing much,” San took a deep breath, appearing very casual. “Just got some food and found someone who needed to travel.”
“I see,” he walked around slowly, observing his surroundings while what you assumed were his lackeys snickered, stealing some apples from the basket in the corner. “We have someone on board who needs to go to Sheratan too. Perhaps… you could do us a favour and rid us off him. We’re getting tired of his lamenting.”
“Oh?” San looked as surprised as he sounded. “That’s new. Don’t you kill anyone who annoys you?”
You wondered who the man was- he sent a dark glare in San’s direction and he tensed. “This one we can’t kill. Man’s the siren-hunter we’ve heard so much about. I bet he could give the sirens a run for their money with his songs.”
Your heart sank to your feet and as if on cue, you spotted the familiar figure of the only other siren-hunter alive, dangling by the edge. The man didn’t ask for permission- he shouted at the siren-hunter to get his stuff and get his ass down on your boat. You looked at San helplessly but his face gave away nothing, even though he appeared tense.
When you heard a low thud, you finally stepped out of the helm and nodded at the man you assumed must be the captain or the mate, catching the attention of the siren-hunter-
“Oh, y/n. What a coincidence. She’s the siren-hunter I told you about- the marauder. Really skilled- could shoot you all dead by the next second.”
“Jongho,” you greeted. Choi Jongho, the one siren-hunter that every sea creature feared- siren or not. The reaper who spared none. “You’re exaggerating.”
Jongho only grinned. “I hope you don’t mind my company- I really need to get to Sheratan. Urgent business- I was lucky to have found someone going in that direction,” he pointed towards the man who looked surprised to find himself in the company of not one but two siren-hunters. “And it seems I’m luckier to have found you.”
“Of course,” you smiled, the approval tasting bitter in your tongue. There was no way he would let Yeosang live. You contemplated proving Jongho’s point and killing everyone in your vicinity including him. “We should reach our destination in two days.”
“Perfect,” Jongho clapped, tossing his bag elsewhere and shaking hands with the man. “It’s been a pleasure, Captain. I hope we can cross paths again on the sea.”
He passed a weak smile, obviously not having found Jongho’s company as pleasing, and after thanking San telling him he owed him one, he went back to his ship and steered it away from your boat. San whistled. “The Captain is in my debt. Never in my lifetime have I thought I would see this day.”
“You’ll have to thank me,” Jongho said, laughing. “I gave him a hard time. He wanted to get rid of me so bad. The only thing keeping him from throwing me off board was the fact that I just saved them from a group of sirens.”
“Really?” You frowned. “Not around Mesarthim, were they?”
“No, why?”
“Because they’re mine to kill,” you muttered. “Remember?”
“Ah, yes,” Jongho nodded enthusiastically. “My offer is still on the table. You can ask me if you want some help.”
You bit your lips, looking at San and silently holding a conversation with him. San shrugged as if to say that there was no other choice.
And there was no other choice, really. You would have to tell Jongho about Yeosang.
But the thing about Jongho was… he hated sirens. He himself had survived the sirens by singing back to them and driving them crazy, was what you had heard though you never asked him if that was true. And then he had made it his life’s mission to hunt sirens- he learned to be immune. He was the ultimate weapon against sirens.
Why would he ever spare Yeosang? He would kill him first and think later. He would tell you you didn’t need Yeosang- yes, Jongho was kind and a good friend, but he was also scary and powerful-
You heard the splash of waves around your boat and you shut your eyes, bracing yourself for-
“Oh… we have company.”
Jongho turned towards the source, frowning when he saw Yeosang, his wet hair thankfully hiding the mark on his temple that would have given his identity away instantly. “And who are you?”
“San, can you tell him to disappear for a few minutes?” You finally sighed and San nodded eagerly, filling him in and putting his hand on his head, practically dunking him back in the sea while a confused Jongho watched the scene unfold in front of his eyes. 
“Is he trying to kill him or what?” Jongho turned to you.
You scanned him once- he was wearing a jacket which meant he must be hiding daggers on his upper body. There were no visible weapons otherwise. “I have a favour to ask.”
“Shoot.”
You took a deep breath again, deeming Yeosang safe. “That man… he is um… a siren but a human, if you will-
And immediately, Jongho was reaching for his inside pocket and you grabbed his arm- “No, listen! Please hear me out first before you decide to kill him.”
Jongho wasn’t having any of it. “You had a siren on board? You’re supposed to be a siren-hunter, y/n.”
“I still am,” you glared at him. “That man- Yeosang- he is a siren, yes, but he no longer has his voice. Do you understand what that means?”
That finally made Jongho take his hand out of his pocket, clutching a dagger. “No.”
“Apparently he lost his voice a few years ago, which means he’s not a siren anymore. Oh, and he lives on land now. He’s practically human. He wasn’t a normal siren anyway- he prefers chicken over humans-”
“I’ll do the explaining,” Yeosang peeked out from the other edge of the boat, dodging the dagger Jongho aimed at his head with ease. He appeared out of the water, soaking wet, and proceeded to enter the boat and search through his bags-
Only to take out a towel and rub it over his head.
You groaned loudly- you wondered sometimes if Yeosang had a death wish. He was far too reckless to be normal. Jongho looked confused as well and you took the chance to steer him to the nearest chair, making him sit and then ordering Yeosang to sit in front of him.
“We talk like civil human beings-”
“He’s a siren, though,” Jongho finally noticed Yeosang’s scaly skin on his temple. “I’m not having a conversation with a siren.”
You turned to San for help who looked like he was enjoying this way too much. You stepped between the two glaring at each other with folded arms. “This is my mission, and I am not going to let a stupid, sorry excuse of a siren and a thick-headed siren-hunter ruining it, is that clear?”
Jongho scoffed but nodded. “Let’s hear you then.”
“Yeosang,” you said, going to stand behind him, putting your hands on his bare shoulders for emphasis and finding them surprisingly warm. “Is a harmless siren. He is… a vegetarian in terms of sirens, if you may.”
Yeosang snorted at that but you slapped his shoulder and continued. “He is going to help me pinpoint the specific group of sirens that I need to hunt. Only he can do that. You don’t have to kill him, Jongho. He is on his way to become a siren-hunter too.”
Jongho looked impressed. “What grudge do you hold?”
“They took my voice, and it does not belong to them. It is mine, even if I choose not to use it,” Yeosang said and you felt satisfied to hear his stern tone. “I can still sing, but it’s not the same. Also, she’s right. I don’t enjoy humans too much. Never did.”
“Now, Jongho,” you went to stand behind him, threateningly rubbing his shoulders. “You are not going to kill my guest. I will kill him myself if such a need arises. You can either join me on my mission or we can drop you off at Sheratan on the condition that you don’t tell a soul about Yeosang.”
“I would join you, though I wouldn’t have told anyone anyway,” he looked pointedly at Yeosang. “But I do not like being in the company of a siren.”
“Neither do I,” you told him. “But let’s tolerate him until our mission is over, please? You can kill him later.”
Yeosang tsk-ed. “So much for helping you. Humans,” he spat, picking his towel and spreading it on the clothesline, wearing his shirt back.
“Are you sure he’s a siren?” Jongho asked as he watched him set his little camp back. “I would believe you if you tell me he’s just a human.”
You finally relaxed, smiling. “I don’t know what his deal is, but… he’s an odd one, for sure. Don’t kill him, okay?”
“Okay,” Jongho shrugged. “Don’t expect us to get along though.”
—-----------------------------
You weren’t sure how, within a day, it came to the scene unfolding in front of your eyes, but Jongho was choking Yeosang as he threatened to throw him into the sea. For a split second, you wondered if you needed to remind Jongho that being in the sea would only help Yeosang, but then… Jongho probably knew. 
“Say sorry,” Jongho’s voice was dangerously low. You scanned your surroundings, finding nothing odd except for San simply watching the two without doing anything about it. It hadn’t been too long with San but you found that he was someone who enjoyed chaos unfolding in front of him. He wouldn’t be one to step in and stop them, so you decided to do the deed.
“Not one moment of peace,” you muttered, starting towards them, Yeosang struggling to laugh. You scoffed to yourself- you needed to scold Yeosang for the lack of regard for his own life. Jongho repeated his order to Yeosang before you could reach them and do something about it, and Yeosang tapped Jongho’s shoulder.
“...Okay, I’m sorry!” Yeosang struggled to breathe and you paused- you weren’t sure if Yeosang’s lack of breath was due to Jongho restricting his air intake or because he couldn’t stop laughing.
Jongho let him go and Yeosang almost fell face-first into the sea. He laughed to himself while Jongho brushed his clothes, smirking. You put your hands over your hips, shooting a glare in the siren-hunter’s direction.
“What the hell was that?” You asked.
Before Jongho could answer, Yeosang called, “I was wrong, I admit it.”
Your brows rose in surprise- Yeosang admitting his mistake? Was it a good decision to bring Jongho on board after all-
“I was wrong,” Yeosang scoffed. “You’re not cute, Jongho. You’re very cute, actually-”
Jongho whipped around to throw a dagger in his direction and Yeosang nearly got struck, too busy laughing to properly avoid his death. San pumped the siren further, urging him to run for his life if he wanted to see tomorrow and you, arms limp by your sides and jaw hanging open, watched the siren-hunter chase the siren like a cat would chase a mouse.
It wasn’t until San put a finger below your chin and shut your mouth that you realised you had been zoning out. You looked at San in disbelief. “Tell me I’m dreaming.”
San stifled a grin. “Unfortunately… you’re not.”
“When did they get so… chummy?” You watched Jongho intently listen to Yeosang explain why he thought Jongho was cute and you wondered if Yeosang had sung and bewitched Jongho somehow. 
“I have no idea,” San finally laughed, finding the situation both hilarious and unbelievable. “But far better than having them at each other’s throats, right?”
San was right and you suddenly saw Yeosang in a newfound light- or perhaps you had been ignoring this fact on purpose. The fact that Yeosang didn’t have to use his voice to captivate people- there was just something about him, and heck, he wasn’t even fully siren. He was very human but he was unconsciously drawing people to him. Jongho was not the kind of person you could crack and yet here he was, the reaper now laughing with a siren over something they found funny. 
“I distinctly remember you insisting you would never get along with a siren,” you joined the two in Yeosang’s little corner, slumping down in front of them. “I’m really confused right now.”
“It was only a matter of time,” Yeosang said cheekily and Jongho rolled his eyes in response, though he couldn’t stifle his smile. He was kind of bad at hiding his feelings. 
“I figured I’d get to know the enemy better by getting close,” he shrugged and you scoffed.
“And? Have you learned something?”
“He’s an odd one,” Jongho turned towards you, finally finding the opportunity to talk about that fact out loud, waiting for San to settle down too before he continued. “Sure, he doesn’t like to eat humans, which is strange enough for a siren, but… look at this?”
San chuckled at the way Jongho pointed at all the crocheting Yeosang had been doing ever since getting on the boat. “Apparently sirens have hobbies too, Jongho. You find that strange?”
“A siren’s gotta do something to pass his time,” Yeosang pouted, shoving the in-progress crochet out of Jongho’s probing gaze. “I was making hats for you all. Should I not?”
You put a hand on your heart, touched. “You were?”
“Not for you,” Yeosang stuck his tongue out. “For San. He’s been kind to me. And for Jongho because I don’t want him to kill me yet.”
San bowed in thanks and you made a sour face. “Why not for me? I like hats too.”
“You’re just using me to kill me later,” Yeosang sighed dramatically. 
“I might change my mind if you make me one,” you offered but Yeosang wasn’t buying it and you looked to San for help who waved a hand at Yeosang.
“You shouldn’t leave someone out. We’re in this together.”
“Yes, and I saved you last night,” you pointed out. “If those pirates saw you or if I didn’t negotiate with Jongho, you would have been long dead.”
Yeosang locked eyes with you. “You sure about that?”
You leaned in, “I’m sure. And this tactic doesn’t work on me, Yeosang. I see right through you. You can act tough all you want.”
Yeosang whistled in approval. “No hats for you.”
You told him that he could keep his damned hats for himself. And to prove his point further, as soon as you reached the shore of Sheratan the next day, you spotted an old lady selling knitted clothes and you took the chance to buy a black hat for yourself- even though it was expensive. You told yourself it wasn’t just out of spite but also because it was extremely windy and cold here. 
Yeosang was quite amused at the sight of you and couldn’t help but comment on it. “Jealous?”
“Please, if you were human, you’d know it’s a necessity at this point,” you clenched your jaw to prevent the chattering of your teeth. “Quite rude of you to not make me one.”
“I got something better for you, but you weren’t nice enough to ask for it,” Yeosang tsk-ed and you frowned, turning to him. He unzipped the bag hanging by his shoulder and produced a black muffler just like the one he was wearing and to your surprise, proceeded to wrap it around your neck.
“I don’t hate you, y/n,” he tucked the ends under your jacket and you thought you could hear familiar snickers from behind you but you were too busy gaping at the siren to care. “Even though you hunt my people… I don’t hate you. I understand your reasons. I just hope you understand mine,” he said, taking a step back to admire how his creation looked on you. 
“...Thank you, Yeosang,” you finally glanced down, admiring the muffler. “And you must understand that I have a hard time being around you. I may warm up to you but at the end of the day, I can’t deny who you really are.”
“And that’s okay,” he nodded. “You look stupid in that hat by the way.”
“Yeah?” You scoffed immediately in response, glad he wasn’t making it awkward. “You’re just mad it’s not your hat I’m wearing.”
“You’re making it sound like I wanted you to wear something I made,” Yeosang pretended to throw up. “I only gave you that muffler because I couldn’t tolerate the sound of your teeth chattering. And because I don’t want you to freeze to death before you get me my voice back.”
“Whatever you say, pretty boy,” you teased, having picked that name from Jongho. Coming from Jongho, Yeosang didn’t seem to care but now he looked almost offended. Before he could retort, San finally decided to remind you all why you were here. 
“Are we having lunch first or do we get straight to business?”
After a majority vote for lunch first, you dined at a local restaurant that had some amazing side dishes. San knew the area quite well and he told you that to find your ebony arrows, you would need to travel deeper into the town and get to the other side where there was a specific area designated for the growth of rare plants maintained by sorcerers.
“So these ebony trees, why are they so scarce around the world?” Jongho asked.
“They didn’t use to be,” San told him as if letting him in on a secret. “Sorcerers are to blame. They had to make a living somehow, so they went around destroying some of the rarest plants around the world just to build a greenhouse here and become the only providers.”
“I did not know that,” you frowned.
“It happened about a century ago, and you won’t find this in the books,” San winked. “I saw your arrows earlier, by the way. The ebony one seems to have some sort of a spell on it?”
“A single graze and the siren dies,” you told him and he whistled. “I had a sorcerer help me with that.”
“That’s a strange spell,” San shook his head in thought. “Are you sure that’s the spell on it?”
“I have no reason to doubt it,” you shrugged. “I’ve heard about similar spells so this must be it.”
“It just feels strange, but maybe it’s because of the medium- the ebony…” San decided to let it go. “Shall we get the horses now?”
—------------------------
“I don’t know, y/n,” San told you, shaking his head in denial. “It just doesn’t feel right. Why can’t you use the arrows we got from Sheratan? I’m pretty sure your aim is good enough.”
“I only have one shot at this, quite literally, San,” you told him, referring to your old ebony arrow. You had three more from your visit to Sheratan. “I can’t risk losing the other arrows too.”
“Maybe you should.” Yeosang butted in, and you rolled your eyes. “What if you miss and kill someone you’re not meant to kill?”
“One less siren to worry about then,” you muttered. 
“What if you accidentally graze yourself?”
“If I was that clumsy, I would have died three years ago, Yeosang,” you laughed a little. “Thanks for worrying about my wellbeing.”
“I’m not worrying about your wellbeing,” Yeosang began but when your smirk grew, he simply waved his hands in defeat and sank down in his corner. 
You turned to San once again. “You’re a sorcerer, and I trust you, San. What feels so weird about that arrow?”
“The magic has a dark element about it, and I can’t tell if that’s all there is or if it’s the surface of something deeper,” San sighed deeply. “What I mean is that it could have been tampered with or it isn’t what the sorcerer told you it is. There’s no way I can test it either. Maybe just avoid the arrow if you can?”
“Alright,” you nodded. “Maybe I should have listened to you and got the arrow cross-examined when you insisted back in Sheratan.”
“That’s okay, just use the simple arrows,” San felt relieved and you smiled at him, watching him join Jongho.
San had first brought this up when you showed the arrows to the sorcerers in the greenhouse in Sheratan. They had confirmed that the arrow was of the ebony wood that grew right there, and had inquired about the spell on it. You had told them about the sorcerer who went by the name of the Wanderer. The sorcerers looked at each other after hearing that and upon asking, they told you that your sorcerer didn’t have a good reputation around here. You figured if a sorcerer was indirectly targeting sirens through you, he definitely wouldn’t have the best reputation. But after leaving, San had asked about the details of how you met him.
“I met him three years ago while going through a tough spot sailing on my own,” you told him. “I almost drowned but he spotted me and helped me. When he learned who I was, he was very intrigued and offered me the arrow.”
“Just like that?” San found it strange.
“He had a grudge with some sirens too, but he thought he could never get revenge so he decided to forget or something. And I was not going to miss the opportunity when there was a free ebony arrow right in front of me.”
You could tell why San felt conflicted so you picked that arrow out of the quiver and gave it to San. “Keep it safe.”
San smiled and went inside the cockpit and you felt the burning gaze of a certain someone. “What?”
“I can’t believe you’re giving up the arrow now that we’re so close to Mesarthim,” Yeosang said and you turned to him.
“Ebony arrows are fatal to sirens, and I have three of them. Three are enough,” you said. “Besides, if I need to kill you, I’ll still have that arrow, damned be the consequences.”
Yeosang scoffed in amusement. “You think those sirens will let you be after you kill them? You think there will only be a few of them?”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “You said you lived there, but you’ve been suspiciously quiet since letting out that information. And now you’re warning me? When we’re right around the corner?” You pointed towards the ominous dark cloud in the sky- the telltale signs of a storm that seemed to be a constant surrounding Mesarthim Island. Jongho, who had been sitting on the edge with his legs dangling, raised a brow at you both.
“I don’t think you need my warning,” Yeosang folded his arms. “You know what it’s like there. You’ve hunted sirens. I haven’t been to that area in about a decade. But if you think you’ll just go trespassing in and killing a few of them and return? You’re wrong.”
“And that’s what he’s here for,” you pointed at Jongho. “And aren’t these the very sirens you want to hunt as well?”
Jongho muttered something like ‘interesting’ while Yeosang gaped at you. “How did you figure it out?”
“Like I said, you’ve been awfully quiet, which must mean the sirens who took your voice are also there. I don’t know how many sirens live there or if we’re hunting the same ones, but first, you’re helping me kill my sirens, and then we help you. I hope you haven’t forgotten the deal.”
“I haven’t,” Yeosang’s voice was low. “You might not have to help me at all.”
Before you could ask what he meant by that, a loud thunder sounded making you jump a little. Tiny droplets started to fall as the boat rocked unevenly with the rough waves and you began wrapping a scarf around your head so your hair wouldn’t get in the way. Jongho checked the weapons he had docked up on again and you peeked inside to see San struggling to steer the ship. You turned to Yeosang. “I think it’s about time you hide. And remember to wear earplugs unless you want to get killed by Jongho.”
“I’m kind of loud,” Jongho grinned. “So I can’t guarantee you won’t get bewitched by me.”
“I still don’t get why everyone thinks it’s totally normal that a human can bewitch sirens,” Yeosang muttered under his breath as he started covering his head and face- he couldn’t be spotted by the sirens here. “Remember to signal me if you need me.”
“Got it,” Jongho said and Yeosang went towards the other corner. You walked to stand next to Jongho, now spotting the faint outskirts of the island through the fog. 
“I think there’s something Yeosang is not telling me, and it might be related to my parent’s death,” you whispered and Jongho looked at you in surprise. “Either he knows something about it or…”
“I don’t know, y/n,” he pursed his lips. “Why would he bring you here willingly then? Ulterior motive?”
“He does need his voice back. This could be a trap.”
“Good thing you have me then, eh?” Jongho smirked and you rolled your eyes but you knew that was true. “I won’t butt in until you tell me to, so stay safe, okay? No hasty moves.”
“No hasty moves,” you confirmed and stationed yourself on the edge of the boat, waiting.
The fog only grew thicker and though you had better hearing now, you were wondering if you would ever hear the sirens since the waves were too loud- along with the beating of your heart.
You were finally here. After eleven years, you were here to avenge your parents. Everything about this moment was familiar and nostalgic in an upsetting way. It had been stormy just like today. You had huddled next to your parents who looked worried along with the few other people on the boat. The sailor had been having a hard time steering it away from the red zone.
You shivered when you recalled the moment everyone fell silent and started listening to the sirens. That was your last intact memory before everything got muddled. You took a deep breath, fisting the daggers that hung by your hips, the longsword and quiver hanging on your back, bow on your shoulder. San started steering towards the red zone with his ears safely plugged despite the spell he had put on himself to not get lured by the sirens.
This had to end well.
Right then, you heard the faint humming of a siren and you looked through your binoculars, clicking your tongue in disappointment- the fog was far too thick today and the rain was only getting worse. You reminded Jongho to stay alert and only kill if necessary and then you loaded one of the ebony arrows, waiting to spot the faces of the sirens that had been the product of your nightmares. 
You could hear the low humming but this one was different- they were not trying to lure you. You looked at Jongho for confirmation and he nodded. You glanced at Yeosang who was huddled in the corner, looking surprised. You inched closer to him, asking him what was up with the sirens.
“They’re not luring you,” he whispered. “They’re sending a warning call and alerting the others. They recognise us.”
“What do you reckon we should do?”
“I think it’s better if I stop hiding once they confirm they know I’m here, and then I can help you out.”
“I don’t trust you though,” you told him.
“I don’t trust you to hand me over to the sirens who will gladly kill me, but here we are,” he locked eyes with you and for a moment, your heart twitched in sympathy. The humming started to grow louder and harmonious.
“You still haven’t told me why they want to kill you,” you loaded your arrow back, aiming in the direction of the humming.
And just like that, the humming stopped entirely, an eerie silence taking over. You looked through your binoculars and found the faint figures standing still on the numerous rocks bordering the island until one of them spoke.
“One who betrays his blood has no right to return, much less with the enemy. How dare you?”
For a second, you wondered if all your spells had worn off in that moment- the sharp voice sounded inside you. It shook you to your core, and you realised then that Yeosang was right- he really had lost his voice.
Yeosang looked at you as if to say his point was proven, and then he removed the scarf from his face. “You could say I brought a gift… dear old sister.”
You almost lost your footing when you heard that and as the boat drew closer to the rocks, you finally saw a glimpse of the owner of that voice. Your limbs felt limp as recognition settled in and you struggled to breathe-
The face of the siren who killed your mother. 
“Shoot, y/n.”
You slowly turned to Yeosang who was now beside you, glaring at who he had called his sister. There was no way… right? There was no way-
You let out a whimper and hastily covered your ears as the siren screamed- perhaps, you should have used those earplugs too. Yeosang tsk-ed painfully and yelled at San to stick to the current route, extracting a dagger from your belt and throwing it with full force at the siren, effectively silencing her as she dodged it and snarled at him, whistling loudly and alerting the other sirens.
“Get a grip, y/n. It’s gonna get messier than I thought,” Yeosang muttered, helping you up and brushing away the stray hair from your face, cupping it for good measure. “This is it, okay? You and I have the same enemy- I’ll explain later, but for now, let’s get rid of them. Okay?”
You nodded, unable to answer verbally and he went to the cockpit to borrow some weapons. You looked at Jongho who was clutching his daggers, waiting for your signal to sing, but he would have to wait a bit more.
You had some unfinished business with a few sirens.
“Yeosang,” you called when he came out with his own bow and arrows. “That siren is the one I’m after- but that’s not the only one. There were more.”
“I understand,” Yeosang aimed an arrow at his sister. “They’ll be right behind her. I’ll take the left and you take the right.”
Thus, the battle began. You kept the simple wooden arrows for the other sirens, the two of you shooting in succession. Jongho kept your backs safe as San dived right into the siren territory and it looked like the sirens had figured out that none of you would give in to their songs- you were spotting glints of silver from the corner of your eyes so you started scanning the crowd of sirens until you spotted another familiar face.
“I’ve found him,” you told Yeosang, motioning towards the male siren with its familiar long blonde hair. “That one killed my father.”
“He has a thing for men,” Yeosang rolled his eyes. “Sorry to tell you that he’s my cousin, of sorts.”
“I’ll deal with you later,” you muttered angrily, extracting one of the three ebony arrows. “I’m going for him.”
You aimed for the siren’s chest and just as the siren met eyes with you having swum from the island to the rocks, you shut your eyes for a second, saying a silent prayer, ignoring the harsh wind and rain, and dismissing the wailing of the sirens.
For you, dad.
You let the arrow loose and when it hit home, you let yourself rejoice for only a second. And then the siren fell on its knees and the other sirens dived into the sea, swimming towards your boat.
“Fuck,” you called Jongho to get back to the centre of the boat. “Yeosang! We’re covering Jongho until we cannot take it anymore.”
“Got it!” He yelled over the storm, getting closer and stealing a few arrows from your quiver. “I’m taking this ebony arrow.”
“Be my guest,” you couldn’t help but share a grin with him. The boat rocked dangerously and San appeared out of the cockpit, his eyes almost glowing. 
“The boat will remain as stable as it can, I’ll make sure the sirens don’t mess with my property.”
You made an impressed face and then you heard a splash, a siren climbing on the boat. You immediately sent an arrow for its head which it dodged but Yeosang was quick to redeem you. Two other sirens started climbing from opposite ends and while you shot at them, a few others appeared until it became a cycle of shooting at them while they tried to get nearer. San had some sort of spell going on where phantom hands were throwing the sirens away from the cockpit and Jongho sent dagger after dagger with impeccable aim.
“Y/n, you need to know when to stop, okay? I’m not going to wait for your signal if I think we’re in danger,” Jongho reminded you.
“That one,” you pointed at Yeosang’s sister, still on the rocks watching with an evil smirk on her face, “That one I’ll kill with my own hands, and then we can do whatever.”
The siren seemed to get that message and it dived into the sea. You loaded the last ebony arrow, waiting to spot her but-
Yeosang hissed in pain as a siren raked its nails across his chest and you jerked in surprise- when did the sirens get this close? You instinctively let the arrow loose and killed that siren, turning to assess the damage. Yeosang seemed pale but he shook it off.
“Where’s your ebony arrow?”
“One of the sirens almost killed you with your own arrow,” he explained. “I got to her first.”
You shook your head. “I’ll take care of the rest, get back. Your sister might kill you before I get the chance.”
“No, they’re too much,” he shot an arrow at another siren who got too close. You unsheathed the longsword.
“It’s about time I put this to practice,” you told him and taking a deep breath, you started going after the sirens one by one. They were quick to match your pace with their long and sharp nails which were weapons enough. You slashed their scaly skins, glad it wasn’t sunny here because their glow would have blinded your naked eyes. You managed to get a few of them with only a few scratches and when you took a break, you spotted your target about to take out San who was now in the cockpit steering the boat away from the island-
“Jongho, get her!” You shouted and Jongho sent two daggers for the siren who dodged them, disappearing from your sight. You circled around that enclosed space with your bloody sword stretched out, hearing your own heartbeat in your ears-
And your heart sank in the worst way when you spotted your target with one of your ebony arrows going after Yeosang. You sent a dagger for her which wedged in her shoulder and she let out a cry of pain, alerting Yeosang but she didn’t let it hold her back- she almost jumped on top of Yeosang and they clawed at each other until she overpowered him, seizing him with the tip of the arrow resting on his chest, ready to be lodged in his heart if any of you made the wrong move. You paused in your tracks as she looked at you threateningly, assessing the damage.
“So many of us killed by your hands, brother dearest,” her melodic voice rang. “What would mother think?”
“Bet she would love this sight,” Yeosang was still in her grasp. 
“And what would your mother think?” The siren asked you and your blood ran cold. “What would she think when she learns you’re lowering your weapons to save a siren?”
You looked at Jongho who shook his head- you were compromised. If he started singing now, Yeosang could get hurt. You turned to look at San who was glaring at the siren. He met your eyes and signalled at his side-
The ebony arrow you received from the sorcerer. You still had that. 
You tried not to let it show as you looked back at the siren- she must be thinking you were defenceless now. “Let him go and we can have a fair fight,” you tried.
“I don’t want to,” she shook her head, her black locks flowing behind her. Everything about her was as beautiful as Yeosang, if not more, but Yeosang didn’t share the horridness a siren had. “And you,” she looked at her brother. “Did you know that killing me means you might not get your voice back?”
“I’d kill you anyway, I’m very tempted to,” Yeosang muttered and she scoffed, digging the arrow into his chest until he winced in pain. You bit your lip, sheathing your sword and clutching your bow.
“Let him go,” Jongho tried. “I could make all of you go mad right now. You might have heard of me- the reaper, your kind calls me.”
“Oh, I’ve heard all about you. Didn’t expect you to look so… human,” she scanned him. “But you should know that your singing won’t work on me. I possess more than one voice, after all.”
You knew then- Yeosang's sister must have been one of the people who took his voice, which meant she was dangerous. Killing her meant that there was a chance Yeosang wouldn’t get his voice back, but…
You had to save Yeosang. There was no other option.
As if Yeosang could hear you, he nodded subtly. He could probably see San slowly creeping near you. While Jongho distracted the siren, San threw the arrow towards you and you caught it, immediately loading it in your bow and aiming it for the siren’s head- and all hell broke loose.
The sirens who had been waiting for orders went after you and Jongho. San used his phantom hands to keep them away and while Yeosang’s sister watched in surprise, you let the arrow loose before she could hurt him.
One graze, and the siren would be dead. All you needed was for the arrow to graze the siren. Yeosang pushed his sister with all his might so she would stay in place and between her attempts to dodge it, the arrow grazed her cheekbone, drawing blood and clattering loudly on the ground- you wondered if the clatter was louder than the thunder booming in the sky. Before you could react further, Yeosang snatched the arrow from her hand and stabbed her heart.
“This is for taking what does not belong to you,” he practically growled, watching his sister fall on her knees, blood spilling from her mouth so dark that it looked black. 
“You… you’re killing your own?”
“You almost killed me- a decade ago and today,” Yeosang pulled the arrow out of her body, making her fall on the ground. The other sirens stood watching, unsure how to respond especially after Jongho revealed his identity. “My voice belongs to me, even if I never use it. Even if I never kill a human with it. You all,” Yeosang locked eyes with every siren on the boat. “Take her back. Let her rest with our parents. And let this be a reminder to all of you to not mess with one of your own.”
The sirens looked scared of Yeosang and you wondered who he really was. Why were they obeying him and not killing him? You and San stood side by side, watching the sirens help each other and hiss at you both for hurting them, none of them daring to sing or attack you. Yeosang sat beside his sister with both the arrows, waiting for her suffering to stop and when her body fell limp, he shut her eyes and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He took off her necklace and pocketed it before asking the sirens to take her. 
Even the storm seemed to have calmed a bit as the sirens left, silence filling the boat until Jongho looked at Yeosang. “You… you need to answer a lot of questions.”
Yeosang nodded slowly, turning to face you and stumbling in the process. You shook your head, going to him and helping him stay upright. “You’re hurt, you fool. You need to sit down and let me see it.”
He nodded, letting you help him to his corner and you sat him down, looking behind you to see Jongho collecting the weapons and San steering the boat away from the wretched island. You took a deep breath, turning back to Yeosang who was staring at you intently, making you blink in surprise. 
“I’m going to, uh, unbutton your shirt- it’s already tattered anyway,” you swallowed the lump in your throat. “Stop staring at me while I do my work.”
“Not how I imagined you would undress me,” Yeosang said in a low voice so only you would hear. “That’s all I’ll say.”
You shut your eyes in mild annoyance. “Not the time to make jokes, siren. You’re hurt quite badly,” you assessed the several claw marks on his chest. “Don’t you have healing powers or something?”
“They’re quite slow now since I stopped acting like a siren,” he admitted. “But I’ll heal- just get me the potion in my bag, there,” he pointed at his bag and you nodded, opening the zip and finding several vials.
“Which one exactly?” You frowned. “Did you bring the whole cabinet with you or something?”
“The one with the purple cap,” Yeosang groaned in pain as he shifted. You tossed the bottle to him, going to your own bag to get your first aid kit and flipping Jongho who wiggled his brows at your concerned face. You settled down next to him and took out a bottle of alcohol.
“I don’t know how your body heals, but I’ll do it the traditional way. Don’t want you getting infected now that you finally got your voice back, do we?” You looked at him. “How would you know you got it back?”
“When her spirit leaves her entirely, that’s when the magic will work,” he told you. You started cleaning his wounds and he clenched his jaw in pain.
“Did you know all this time that it was your family that killed mine?”
“Are you really going to get answers like this?” Yeosang hissed in pain when you pressed purposefully on his wound.
“I think now’s a good time, Yeosang,” you tried not to sound amused. “On a serious note… did you know?”
“I didn’t connect the dots until you told me what my sister said to you right before sparing you,” he admitted. “My sister has always been rogue. We were not raised like this- yes, we hunted humans but she broke a lot of rules,” he took a breather while you continued cleaning his wounds. “And she broke a big rule when she decided to declare me an outcast and took my voice. I would have hunted her down one day. People like her really shouldn’t be in charge of the community.”
“Can’t say I feel sorry for her,” you muttered, starting to bandage the slashes on his chest. “Now, when are you going to tell me where you were when they killed my parents?”
Yeosang fell silent and he waited until you finished bandaging him. “When you overcome the trauma and your memories return to you… you’ll know where I was.”
“Do you have to do this?” you asked him, defeated. “Do you have to make me confused? You’re literally related by blood to the sirens who killed my family, and then you take me to them so I can kill them, save my life multiple times-”
“You saved mine too-”
“And won’t tell me what your role was in the attack a decade ago?” You let out an exasperated sigh. “I really start seeing you as a human sometimes. I really think you’re better than the sirens who are monsters in every sense. I don’t think you are a monster, Yeosang, but if you continue to play with my head-”
A sharp ache, almost like a stab, spread through your chest, making you double up and cough loudly while Yeosang’s breath got caught and he struggled to breathe, falling on his side. You could hear the faint sounds of Jongho and San rushing to the two of you and patting your cheek to make you come back to your senses but you gave in to the pull of the pain as everything went black.
—----------------------
“Too strange to be a coincidence.”
“The timing is very off- and the arrow, I swear it glowed for a second. And then she faints just like Yeosang? Yeosang’s getting his voice back, but what is her reason?”
You groaned loudly, stretching your limbs and making them crack in the process, your mouth curving in pain- it felt like every muscle in your body was cramped. Everything started to feel too much as you regained consciousness and you shut your eyes-
The light was too bright. Their whispering was too loud. Their cautious touches on your body were too much.
“Stop,” your cracked voice sounded and you felt a cold hand tap your cheek.
“Open your eyes, y/n. Look at me.”
“Not now,” you tried wiggling away from Yeosang but he put a hand on your shoulder, preventing you from rolling away and after taking a few deep breaths having curled into yourself miserably, you finally opened your eyes.
“Oh dear,” Yeosang looked at Jongho and San who were equally shocked. “You seeing this?”
“What?” You croaked again, getting up with immense effort and motioning at Jongho to pass you the water bottle near him which you gulped hungrily. “What happened? I fainted?”
“Not just fainted,” San began but paused, wondering how to word it. “How are you feeling right now?”
“Honestly? In pain,” you admitted, looking at Yeosang. “What happened to you? Why did you faint- why did we faint together?” You frowned deeply. “Did you do something?”
“Did I look like I could do anything?” He reminded you of the wounds across his chest. “Just to let you know what's going on, your eyes are, uh… glowing. Like a siren’s.”
You scoffed in amusement. “Just tell me I have pretty eyes, Yeosang.”
Jongho snorted and San looked up at the skies for help while Yeosang tried his best not to pass a stinging remark- you were not going to take it well. “Yeah? Don’t believe me? Go look in the mirror.”
“I don’t need to,” you started getting up, almost losing your footing. “How long was I out again?”
“A few hours,” San said, watching you cautiously. 
“Must be the relief catching up or something,” you muttered, going towards the edge to look at the fading remnants of the island. 
“Jongho, do something,” Yeosang pleaded and Jongho hugged himself.
“I’m scared of her,” he pouted.
“Okay, that’s enough,” you turned, bringing the stool in front of the three and sitting on it, peering down at them. “Tell me what’s going on. San first.”
“When you fainted, the arrow glowed for a moment,” he pursed his lips. “And then you just shivered uncontrollably for the three hours you were out.”
“Must be the spell, right?” You thought. “A single graze killed that siren, it must have something about it that it takes away from the user. Now, Jongho… what is it about my eyes glowing?”
“They just seem… glossier than usual. Like Yeosang’s.”
“So you all are tired too, I get it,” you shook your head. “Or this is an awful, awful prank-”
Yeosang dug a mirror out of his bag and held it in front of you, and your glowing eyes were not the first thing you noticed.
It was the faint purple mark on your temple. You leaned closer to examine it, noticing it looked a lot like scales-
It couldn’t be.
You turned your face and on the other temple- no, wherever the sun hit, your skin reflected an iridescent purple sheen, not too noticeable but there alright. You unwrapped the scarf from around your neck and shifted towards the sun, and sure enough, it was there as well. As a matter of fact, it was everywhere.
Suddenly it was too silent and too loud all at once. This was not the temporary better hearing spell you had, no. This was you hearing the low gurgles of something deep in the ocean. This was you seeing the very distant island and still being able to count the rocks around it- something you couldn’t even have seen with your binoculars. This was you hearing the breath- heartbeats of those on the boat. This was you smelling their anxiety. This was you feeling the hair on your body rise-
You rushed for the edge of the boat and gasped for air, choking on nothing. You could hear the shuffling of your companions but they didn’t come near- they let you have a moment until familiar light steps drew closer.
Yeosang touched your shoulder cautiously. “You’re still burning up- you need to let us do something about it.”
“What is happening to me?” You searched his eyes for answers but found none. “It’s too much, Yeosang, it’s too much-”
“It will be okay,” Yeosang squeezed your arm assuringly. “I think it’s some side effect of the arrow you used- the arrow from the sorcerer. If it doesn’t fade soon… we’ll do something about it, okay? We’ll figure it out-”
Yeosang couldn’t finish his sentence as your eyes rolled back in your head and you fell unconscious, him holding you in his arms just in time to save you from falling painfully down. He looked at the others helplessly- he had never seen something like this happen before. But you…
You, a human, were turning into a siren.
—----------------------
You didn’t know how long you kept lying on your back, watching the starry night sky and blocking the whispers of your companions on the boat. You were too busy replaying everything that had happened in the past few days in your head and you kept coming to the same conclusion.
The arrow. That darned arrow.
Did the Wanderer really take advantage of your vulnerability? Did he see what he needed in you- someone who would hunt a siren for him- and give you that arrow? Did he know about the spell as a sorcerer or did he give it to you because he was too scared to use it himself and find out what it would do to him? And if he knew that using that arrow would somehow turn the user into a siren… 
Why would he want you, a siren-hunter, to turn into a siren? Did he have a personal grudge against you? He couldn’t, he had never met you before, had he? Or did he want you to turn into a siren just because he was someone sadistic? But it still made no sense- if he hated sirens like he had claimed he did, he wouldn’t have wanted you to turn into a siren, would he? 
You finally got up, looking around- everything was starting to feel different, more heightened. You wondered for a moment if this was what was normal to Yeosang, but you were a human. You couldn’t be a siren. You hunted sirens for a living, for crying out loud. You walked around the boat until you spotted the three huddled in front of the fire, heating themselves up-
And you realised you did not feel cold either. You scoffed internally- you finally got all your questions about sirens answered. The questions you had been asking Yeosang all this time.
Yeosang was the first one to hear you walking towards them and he actually looked worried as he scanned you. “How are you feeling?”
“Angry,” you settled down in front of them. “And hungry.”
“Hangry…” Jongho acknowledged. “Any unusual craving for humans yet?”
“Jongho,” San warned though he was trying to stifle his smile. 
“You’ll be the first to know if I do, human,” you muttered and Yeosang looked awfully proud to hear that. 
“Really hope you don’t turn into a siren though,” Jongho casually cleaned his dagger, looking at his reflection on the blade. “Otherwise I’d have to kill two of you.”
“I thought we were friends,” Yeosang put his hand on his heart, disappointed. 
“I’m not turning into a siren,” you glared at Jongho and Yeosang and they immediately shut up- you were pretty sure you had never been this angry before in front of them. You turned to San. “Where are we going?”
“I’ve steered the boat away from Mesarthim, so we’ll be bordering Sheratan in a few hours.”
“Good, keep it in that direction,” you nodded. “I need answers from a certain sorcerer.”
“I don’t think it’s safe to go alone, especially in this condition,” San scooted closer to get a good look at you. “You were burning up while you were unconscious and I had to use a spell to bring your fever down. There’s no guarantee when it will come back.”
“Thank you, but I will take care of myself,” you smiled reassuringly at him. “You’ve been a lot of help, San, but I think this is where we should part ways.”
“Nope,” San shook his head. “If you’re dealing with a sorcerer, I need to be there. There’s no telling what he will do to you- he probably planned this. This arrow- it has to be a curse.”
Your heart sank. “A curse?”
“No spell can change the nature of who you are- whether human, sorcerer or siren,” he explained. “It would have taken a curse to do that- and if that is the case… you don’t have to be a sorcerer to put a curse on something or someone, right?”
“You mean…” Jongho shifted uncomfortably, “This sorcerer might not have been a sorcerer at all?”
“That is a possibility, because to put a curse, you simply have to have a deep grudge against something or someone. For the curse to be effective, it takes a lot of negative energy. If the Wanderer placed a curse on that arrow himself and gave it to you…”
“That would make another person with a deep personal grudge against sirens,” Yeosang looked at you. “He wouldn’t have been on the boat with you and your parents a decade ago, would he?”
“No,” you said. “I’m sure he was not.”
“There’s a lot to consider here,” Yeosang rubbed his hands as if he finally felt cold. “Whether he had a grudge against the sirens we just killed or a grudge against siren-hunters, which means it could easily have been Jongho who wielded that arrow.”
Jongho grimaced at the possibility. “He must have purposefully searched for us then but found y/n first…”
You shook your head in disappointment. You definitely should not have trusted that sorcerer- or anyone, for that matter. You should have double-checked the spell on the arrow with other sorcerers. You should have trusted San and not used that arrow at all-
“I’m sorry for tossing you that arrow even though I told you not to use it,” San sighed deeply. “It’s my fault.”
“No, it’s not,” you patted his shoulder awkwardly. “I would have done that anyway.”
And only after saying that did you realise that yes. You would have done that anyway, all to save a siren. 
All to save Yeosang, who was currently watching you intently and making your heart flutter, something unspoken passing between you two. The whole ordeal had really been a test for you both and you saved each other’s lives without hesitation again and again. 
Before Yeosang could say something or Jongho could pass a comment with that devilish smirk on his face, you got up and went to the other end of the boat, sitting on the deck and taking a few deep breaths.
Everything you had planned had come to ruins. You killed the sirens, yes, but at what cost? You were turning into something you hated. And at the same time, you were so confused about Yeosang and his involvement in everything.
While you were unconscious, you had… dreams. You weren’t sure if they were flashbacks of your deeply buried memories or just a figment of your wild imagination, but you were back at Mesarthim, clutching your ears and sobbing while your parents' blood spilled in front of you as the sirens sank their teeth into their bodies. You were screaming as another siren made its way to you, and your scream got louder when a now familiar face stood between you and the monster.
“Not the kids. That is enough already.”
And then your saviour was thrown away with a harsh push and you scrambled to hide yourself amidst the panic, but the sirens could smell your fear. Soon, the boxes you hid behind went flying away and you brought your knees closer to your chest, eyes widening as the siren made one of its own kneel in front of you, face a bloody mess.
“Kill this child, siren. It is who we are.”
You were pretty sure it was Yeosang, and if this was a memory that finally made its way back…
Had it been Yeosang who saved your life that day?
“Stop staring holes into the poor sea,” Yeosang settled down next to you. You glared at him for good measure, taking that chance to scan his face again- he looked very different in that dream/memory but it had to be him. “And stop glaring at me every chance you get.”
“I’m still waiting for your answer,” you told him, looking back at the sea and swinging your legs a little. “
“I think we have more pressing concerns right now,” he scanned your face. “Can you tell me exactly how you feel? Do you feel any… physiological changes?”
“Well, I can hear your heartbeat, for starters, and that is the most unnerving thing,” you finally laughed a little, making him relax as well. 
“We learn to ignore it until it becomes the background,” he smiled. “What can you hear?”
You took a deep breath. “Everything. I can hear them talking if I focus, I can hear the creatures in the sea… I could sense your presence, Yeosang. Is this how it feels to be a siren?”
“You’re not a siren yet, don’t worry,” Yeosang patted your back. “But do let me know if you get intense cravings.”
“I can’t tell if this is a joke or not.”
“I won’t tell,” he smiled cheekily. “Well, excellent night vision?”
“Yep,” you confirmed. 
“If you’re up for it, we could test some other things, see how far it has progressed. I could tell you how to deal with it-”
“I don’t need to learn how to be a siren, Yeosang,” you raised a brow. “I’m a human. I will remain human, and I will undo whatever has happened.”
“Yes, you're still a siren-hunter,” Yeosang rolled his eyes. “But sweetheart, if you need to hunt that sorcerer, you need to learn how to live with this body and make the best use of it. It’s probably going to benefit you. And once you find him and we break the curse, you can go back to being a human if you hate it so much.”
“I will go back to being a human,” you said. “But… you’re right. I should learn how to stop stumbling every two steps.”
“Did the siren thing make your perspectives broaden as well?” Yeosang wandered out loud and you smacked his arm. “We’ll take it slow, don’t worry.”
“You’re quite pleased that I’m turning into a siren, aren’t you?” Your voice shook and his smirk fell. “You could leave me be. You could watch me suffer, but why are you offering to help me? What do you want from me?”
“I thought it was clear by now that I want nothing from you,” he looked a bit hurt and that made your heart ache as well. “I only want to thank you for helping me out and saving my life today. I want to thank you for helping me get my voice back, and I want to apologise for the unfortunate consequences of it.”
You looked down, trying to sort your thoughts out. “You’re… too human to be a siren.”
“And that is why I was outcasted by my own family,” he said. “Sirens don’t go around saving humans, y/n.”
“It was you that day, wasn’t it?” You finally looked at him, a clear memory back in your head. “I don’t know why I suddenly remember, but it was you. They made you kneel in front of me, ready to kill you if you didn’t kill me.”
“And you saved my life that day,” Yeosang smiled.
You realised you had. Not only today, but about a decade ago too. When he was struggling to breathe and being forced to kill you, you waited for the other sirens to get distracted before passing him the dagger you had been hiding behind you all this time. He had thanked you silently before he told you to close your eyes.
“I killed my people that day,” Yeosang continued. “And I’m glad you managed to escape that day, y/n, or it would have been all for nothing.”
“But they took your voice,” you whispered. “Because of me.”
“And then you found me,” he looked down at your hands which were almost brushing. “You found me…” he dared to brush his fingers against yours and when you didn’t pull your hand away, he intertwined them. “And you saved me again. It took me a while to remember you, but it looked like you had forgotten me, which is why I decided not to tell you again. It’s not the best memory, after all.”
“Well, I still hate you and you’re a siren,” you said though your smile betrayed you.
“And you still reek of human,” Yeosang retorted, his confession oddly comforting. “But I like you anyway.”
You couldn’t meet his gaze anymore so you looked away but you could tell that he was smiling. You simply squeezed his hand in response, which was enough for now. He continued to play with your fingers as he asked, “If things hadn’t gone wrong today, what would you have done? Where would you have gone?”
“I don’t know,” you admitted. “I never thought I’d make it out alive. I owe you all for that.”
“I never thought I’d make it out alive either,” Yeosang stared into the distance. “It was more like a suicide mission because let’s face it- how could I have made it out alive? We barely escaped this time. I just wanted to get back at my sister for a number of things. You won’t believe it, but I’m not the only odd siren out there. There are others who practise restraint simply because once you give in to your carnal desires, siren or human, you turn into a monster.”
“Wow,” you breathed. “So we’ve just been unfortunate this whole time? Coming across sirens that are monsters?”
“Kind of,” Yeosang smiled dejectedly. “The normal ones won’t really be sitting and waiting for humans, would they?”
“Okay, you’ve got a point,” you said. “So were you the odd one out in your community?”
“More like most of us gave in to peer pressure and had no other choice. And if you rebelled… you end up like me.”
“Not a bad place to end up though?”
“It wasn’t always so easy,” Yeosang shivered involuntarily. “Especially when they took your voice. The first few years were miserable but then I learned to live with it. I pass as a human now, don’t I?”
“Hate to admit but you do,” you tsk-ed. “So what next for you?”
Yeosang looked at your joined hands and you suddenly felt conscious. “I think I’ll stick around. At least until we find the person who did this to you, and then I will make them suffer. After that…” he brought your hand to his lips to plant a soft kiss on your knuckles, making your heart somersault. “I’ll see where this road takes me.”
You heard it- the silent promise to help you out and go wherever you want to go. To be with you. You wondered how he, as a siren, was so… beautiful. Not just from the outside, but from within. How he gave and gave without really asking anything in return. How he was still willing to hunt for you even when you had, till now, clearly reminded him again and again that he was a siren but you hated his kind. 
He was a siren, but… he was more human than you could ever be.
—-------------------------
“There is no way I’m learning how to breathe underwater,” you insisted for the umpteenth time. “I have experienced breathing underwater. When the water gets into your lungs…”
“That shit hurts,” Jongho agreed, for once siding with you and you silently thanked him.
“Yes, but that’s when you’re human,” Yeosang was losing his calm now. “You need to learn how to breathe underwater so if that damned sorcerer tries drowning you, you won’t kill yourself.”
“I don’t think he’ll get to that,” you scoffed.
“Then you think too highly of yourself,” Yeosang said. “Do not underestimate someone who has the power to turn a human into a siren.”
“And the sorcerer is travelling around, so chances are we catch him while sailing or we find him at some shore,” San quipped. “He’ll definitely try to kill you- because you’re going to try to kill him too.”
You poked your tongue in your cheek, hands on your hips as you thought about it. Truth be told, you may be travelling the oceans most of the time but you were pretty scared of diving into it, especially when you almost drowned a few times in the past too. 
A few days ago, when you finally completed your life’s mission and found everything going wrong, you reached Sheratan’s shore and inquired about the Wanderer. Everyone scattered around town, San tagging with you and after a few hours of asking around and a hearty dinner to celebrate making it out alive on that deadly mission, you got on the boat again to border around Sheratan in hopes of finding a lead.
While you travelled, San practised his spells, trying to either recreate something like your curse only in hopes of finding how to undo it in the process, or actually just get to breaking it himself, but so far, all his efforts had been in vain and a few times even backfired at him. He almost got hurt and you had to put Jongho on duty to make sure San wouldn’t end up hurting himself. So he started focusing on location spells and defensive shields.
Jongho could have gotten off at Sheratan since he had intended to go there anyway, but for some reason he decided to tag along until you got back to normal, and you were pretty sure the reason was not only that he was worried about you and wanted you to turn back to human, or because he wanted to kill Yeosang- which was an inside joke now. If you thought about it, he had become so used to travelling alone that perhaps, he was finding a home and a family within your odd group. You were sure about that because when you tried to tease him about it, he threatened to drown you, which made you snicker to yourself. But you had to admit you found the young siren-hunter endearing especially when he forgot who Yeosang was and just listened to his stories and let him tease him with a stifled smile. There was something about Yeosang that no one here could resist.
And that included you. These past few days, he had been making sure you felt okay and helped you live with yourself not only physically but mentally too, because if you looked past your anger, you knew that there was no telling how long you would have to live as a siren or if you could ever go back to being human. He was helping you come to terms with yourself and you were grateful for that, because if you had been alone, you weren’t sure what you would have done to yourself. Now that you knew so much about sirens and started seeing them as people just like you with emotions and feelings and dreams and wishes instead of bloodthirsty monsters… you were okay.
You were okay with Yeosang- you had been for quite a while though. He had never felt like a siren- even now, when he was fully siren, he was the same. He tried singing once when you were in the middle of the ocean- you all were immune anyway. Despite that, when he sang, you thought it was the most beautiful thing you had ever heard. It wasn’t hauntingly beautiful like a usual siren’s call, but it was almost dreamy. Even Jongho was in awe as Yeosang sang his heart out after what had to be a decade and your face was wet with tears by the time he ended.
He asked you last night if you felt like singing. You told him you didn’t know the answer to that, because currently you were busy repressing every emotion you felt and focusing solely on the anger you felt towards the sorcerer for violating your entire being. But ever since he asked you that, you couldn’t help thinking about it. So you asked him in the morning.
“Why do sirens sing?”
You knew that the sole purpose of singing wasn’t to lure humans, so you were curious why Yeosang wanted to sing so badly even though he didn’t intend to lure humans.
“So we don’t forget who we are.”
Though it was an ambiguous answer, as you narrowed your eyes at Yeosang who was waiting for you to make a decision, you wondered if he was enjoying your misery-
“No, I’m not enjoying your misery,” Yeosang chuckled. “Please, get in the water.”
“How do you even breathe underwater?” You almost cried. “Do you have some gills that I can’t see? Did I grow gills-”
San and Jongho burst out laughing in the corner and Yeosang put his head in his hands. “I’m not a fish, y/n. You just breathe through your nose- the water won’t get in. Come on,” he outstretched his hands and when you still kept giving him the side-eye, he raised a brow. 
“Don’t you trust me?”
You took a deep breath, raising your hands and pausing. “I trust you. But I’m scared.”
“You’ll be okay,” Yeosang gently locked your hands with his and tugged you closer, taking off your cardigan and scarf and throwing them on the deck. “No need for these extra layers. Feeling okay?”
“Yeah,” you breathed, left in a plain black shirt and pants, similar to his. “At my pace, okay?”
“Of course,” he nodded, stepping into the water first and waiting for you. You glared at him one last time before following-
And clutching onto his arms for support. 
“Just so you know, I suck at swimming,” you told him and he laughed.
“We’ll change that- for sirens, swimming is second nature to them,” he told you, trying to unwrap your grip around his arms. “Now, let go of me and you’ll find yourself floating-”
“No-” you drew closer, clutching onto his shoulders, your eyes widening as you looked down. “Can you always see that deep into the sea?”
When Yeosang didn’t answer, you looked at him, blinking in surprise when you realised how close you were, practically hugging him. But you couldn’t care right now- you were far too scared to let go. “Bear with me, please.”
“Okay,” Yeosang nodded. “Now, if you’re feeling a little better, you can let go of me and we can go underwater, okay? There’s nothing to be scared of- I’m with you.”
“Alright, I hold my breath when I go down?”
“If you want to,” he squeezed your waist assuringly, only then realising he was holding you there. Good lord, he thought. “It doesn’t matter, but when you open your eyes and get your bearings, allow yourself to breathe- through your nose, okay?”
“Okay,” your voice sounded small. “Let’s try this?”
Yeosang smiled. “Hold on to the boat and watch me.”
You did as he instructed, staying upright and you watched him dive inside the sea and swim around, all the while breathing through his nose. He waved at you and you laughed at the sight, feeling a bit relaxed.
You could do this.
You let go of the boat and held your breath, diving into the sea and opening your eyes, surprised at how everything was visible. You could see Yeosang waving at you and when you looked down, you could see the fish and other creatures. You smiled and swam closer to him and he put his hands on your shoulders-
“Breathe through your nose.”
You almost inhaled water when you heard his voice inside your head and he smiled cheekily, putting his hands on your shoulders again.
“You really are turning into a siren. Sirens can communicate through touch while underwater. Takes a little practice though. Now, inhale.”
You shook your head, swimming away from him- somehow, you could hold your breath longer now. You saw a few fishes circle around you both and while you were momentarily surprised, you had an awful realisation and you looked up-
You were far too deep in the sea. You felt short of breath and you made the mistake of opening your mouth as if to call Yeosang which just made you panic and you shook frantically, Yeosang quick to reach you and wrap his hands around your waist-
“What’s the matter? Breathe through your nose, quick!”
You shook your head, looking up again, silently communicating that you needed air and you opened your mouth again, panicking- you couldn’t hold on much longer and you were going to drown to death-
“It’s quicker to inhale than to go up for air, please, inhale, y/n! Trust me-”
You smacked his chest as if to curse him for doing this to you but he remained close. When you almost gave up, your human instincts overriding your system, Yeosang decided to help you a little-
He pressed his mouth against yours, transferring his breath to you. Your eyes widened in shock for a few moments until he drew back, equally shocked and slightly amused.
“You’re breathing.”
You shook your head in denial- yes, you breathed for a second there and the water didn’t pass through your nose and burn your lungs, but your fear made you lock that again. Yeosang brought his hands to your face, cupping them and looking at you almost lovingly.
“Just relax, y/n.”
You didn’t know which one of you made the next move but you were pressing your lips against each other again and this time, he wasn’t simply transferring air to you. This time, he was kissing you. You were breathing through your nose and you were kissing him back, your hands fisting his shirt and keeping him close, and you could make the excuse that you couldn’t breathe, but both of you knew this was different. He relaxed himself when he realised you weren’t stopping him and then he let one of his hands cup your jaw and angle you better, the other stopping at the exposed skin below your shirt. Despite wanting to continue kissing you for as long as he could, he slowly started swimming upwards and when you finally ascended up and the cold air hit your face, you broke away from him, breathless.
And for once, he was the same.
You took him in, his dark hair matted all over his face, your bodies still so close to each other, his eyes still glued to your lips. You took in your fill and then you cleared your throat. “Uh… I think I’ll try that another time.”
“Try what?” Yeosang asked and you frowned.
“Breathing underwater, you idiot,” you smacked his shoulder, drawing away from him and when he started laughing, you couldn’t help but join awkwardly. “I panicked, okay?”
“I could tell,” he teased and you splashed water on his face, feeling his gaze as you climbed up the boat, San and Jongho waiting.
“How were your adventures underwater-”
“Shut up,” you muttered, going for a towel, positive your cheeks were flushed. Yeosang followed and you avoided his gaze, going towards where your bag was.
“Are you sure you were only panicking?” Yeosang said in a low voice so only you could hear. You clenched your jaw, glaring at him.
“We’ll talk about this later,” you muttered, throwing your towel at him and going inside the cockpit, shutting the door so you could sort your thoughts out by yourself-
You weren’t sure what was worse for you as a siren-hunter. The fact that you were turning into a siren, or the fact that you kissed a siren.
Or the undeniable reality that you had been falling for him for quite a while now. 
It was stupid, you thought, to fall in love with a siren. It could never end well. The stories you had heard about sirens and humans falling in love always ended ill-fatedly. You recalled hearing one from an old sorcerer you met in your hometown when you first began your siren-hunting.
“There was once a siren who fell in love with a human.”
“How could a siren love a human?” You asked.
“That’s not what matters, because they have a heart too, they find it when they fall in love,” he said. “What matters is that when a siren loves a human, it gives up everything. It gives up its own life. It forgets who it is but a siren shouldn’t love a human because eventually, a siren will sing. And when it sings, the human gives up everything for it.”
“So did that siren end up singing?”
“That’s what we’ve heard, but we never found out if that’s true,” the sorcerer sighed. “That siren loved his human so very much, but it forgot that sirens are not the only monsters out there. Humans are as monstrous themselves. So when everyone found their secret, what did they do?”
“What?” Your heart sank.
“The humans killed their own while the siren watched,” the sorcerer patted your back. “And the siren lost a part of itself. You are a human, dear. Remember not to become the monster that you hunt.”
You shivered as you recalled the story. You wondered if some part of it was true. And then you wondered if Yeosang felt the same.
Truth be told, you could blame him for being too kind to you, for protecting you, for making your heart flutter with his little actions that he didn’t even give a second thought to. You wondered why he continued to kiss you underwater- did he like you now that you were a siren? Did he like you when you were a human? Or was he simply too touch-starved all these years? Were you starving for love? 
How could you fall for a siren-
You heard a knock and you thought it was San but Jongho peeked inside instead. “May I come in?”
“Why are you suddenly asking for permission,” you pouted and he grinned, settling in front of you. “If you’re here to tease me about something, please leave-”
“I wanted to ask you why Yeosang keeps grinning like an idiot. What did you both do underwater?”
You frowned, looking outside from the window and sure enough, Yeosang stood in a corner playing with his ball of yarn and smiling to himself. He almost looked like a kid at that moment and you shook your head. “He might be giggling over how I panicked underwater. I couldn’t really breathe like he thought I would.”
“Really?” Jongho frowned. “Because you were down there for quite a while.”
You could feel the heat creeping up your neck now. “Sirens must have good lung capacity or something.”
Jongho narrowed his eyes. “You like him, don’t you?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Who am I talking about?”
“Jongho,” you looked at him. “I know you’re talking about Yeosang. And yes, I don’t want to kill him anymore, but neither do you. We grew on each other, that’s it.”
“Yeah, but you two can’t stop staring at each other whenever you think nobody’s looking,” he grinned. “Look, my thoughts about sirens have changed too ever since I met Yeosang, and now that you’re turning into a siren and might stay that way… you know I won’t hurt you, right?”
“I know,” you smiled.
“We’re closer to finding that sorcerer,” Jongho said. “And it’s going to be dangerous. What I mean is… you can’t be distracted or let the sorcerer get inside your head, okay? You understand what I’m saying, right?”
“Yep,” you nodded. “Thanks. I’ll sort myself out. No more tantrums.”
“Nah, you can continue having these tantrums,” Jongho laughed. “That’s not what I mean. I know I would have holed myself in a corner and cried 24/7 if I was turning into a siren. But you need to understand that we barely escaped last time and this sorcerer is powerful enough to do that to you. In case something happens to one of us…”
“We’ll be fine,” you insisted. “We’ll make it out alive, all of us.”
“I sure hope so, but I’d rather be prepared if I don’t make it out alive, which is why I’m here right now, actually,” Jongho said. “What do you think would be your biggest regret if you don’t make it out alive?”
“I… haven’t thought about that,” you admitted. “What would be yours?”
“Well,” Jongho slumped back. “I think it would be that I wasted all these years continuing hunting sirens, even when I got the ones who killed my family. You’ve just completed your life’s mission too. I think if I make it out alive, I’d like to quit hunting and do something else.”
“Oh,” you grinned at him. “Someone’s matured.”
“Right,” he scratched the back of his neck. “Do you think you’ll quit hunting as well?”
You found yourself looking out of the window at Yeosang who was now talking to San about something. “I think I might. I don’t know.”
Jongho smiled knowingly. “What do you say? The four of us continue conquering the sea and helping people get past evil sea creatures or humans?”
“Doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” you laughed. “We’d be called pirates at this rate.”
“Yeah, our reputation already sucks anyway,” Jongho laughed as well. “But I think we make a really good team.”
You nodded, smiling at the sight of the sorcerer and siren clapping at something they found funny. You really did make a good team, and perhaps, you’d like to continue being that way. “We could find some unexplored island and make it our home. I don’t want to go back to my hometown.”
“That’s not a bad idea,” Jongho said. “But first… let’s all make it out alive, okay? Let’s stay strong.”
—-------------------------
“What if we get caught trespassing on someone’s private property?” Jongho sounded concerned as he jumped over the wall to get inside the house you had travelled miles to get to.
“I think it’s justifiable considering what the sorcerer did to me,” you said, letting San help you climb up and then you jumped down, Jongho catching you. “I could burn down his whole property.”
“I won’t be surprised if that makes the sorcerer curse you again,” San said as he jumped down effortlessly, dusting his hands off. “I can undo spells like those put around this property, but I can’t undo another curse.”
“Are you sure there’s no alarm here to detect sirens?” Yeosang asked before he jumped down. “Pretty sure he would set one up considering how much he hates sirens.”
“None of you are siren enough to activate one anyway,” San scoffed. “But no. There’s none. I don’t think he ever thought a siren would come parading in his house.”
“Trespassing,” Jongho corrected.
“If you’re so worried about the law, Jongho, maybe you should retire after this mission. We could get you some place by the sea,” you teased. “You could catch fish for a living.”
“Jokes later, we don’t have much time,” San took the lead, unlocking the main door with a swipe of his hands. “Remember not to leave any sort of trace. And try not to make it look obvious that we’re searching his house, will you?”
“Got it,” you all muttered before entering the Wanderer’s house.
While on your journey around Sheratan, you came across the same pirates who had dropped Jongho off and since they were in his debt, they gave you all the information about the Wanderer which was not much but was enough. You had the location of one of his many properties across the continent and you all thought it would be a good idea to search his house for any clues about his real identity or the curse, which was how you ended up here.
“Stick next to me- if any spells have to detect a siren, I’d rather it be me,” Yeosang pushed you behind him, taking the lead. You felt touched and you were just staring at him in disbelief and adoration when he continued, “You can’t even handle one curse. I don’t know how you’ll handle another-”
“Thank you, but I’m good,” you tried overtaking him but he grabbed your arm and locked eyes with you.
“Please. I’d rather it be me.”
You narrowed your eyes. “I can’t tell if you’re genuinely worried or if you’re making fun of me.”
“Can’t it be both?” He grinned and you made a face at him, none of you breaking physical contact.
Somehow, you were getting used to Yeosang’s physical touch. Ever since that day when you both kissed underwater, he had been somehow more gentle with you yet he was still the same. You were too afraid to ask what exactly was your relationship with him now, but it definitely had surpassed the boundaries of ‘just friends’ and you hadn’t even acknowledged him as a friend verbally.
He did talk to you about what happened that day. For two days, you did your best to avoid him though you couldn’t do much, being stuck in the same boat as him. On the second night though, he joined you by the deck and asked how you were doing, making small talk until he finally said-
“Are we going to talk about the kiss or are we going to pretend it never happened?”
You pursed your lips and when you didn’t answer for a few moments, your mind racing with too many thoughts, he gently took your hand in his, caressing it. 
“I know what I want,” he said. “Do you?”
His gaze was too much. It was overwhelming, but at the same time… you wished he would keep looking at you that way forever. You met his eyes- they were so warm. So full of affection and love. 
“Why, Yeosang?”
“Do I need a reason to want you?” He wondered. “Maybe I just like you, y/n. Maybe I just like who you are.”
You scoffed. “I haven’t given you anything. This isn’t me- you can’t possibly like this version of me.”
“Isn’t this you?” He intertwined your hands, holding them up in front of the full moon. “Isn’t it you, afraid to admit you want a siren, just like I was afraid to admit that I want a human?” He shut one eye as if studying the way the moonlight passed through the gaps between your fingers. “Was that not you who spent all her life searching for the sirens who killed her parents to avenge them?” He put your hands down, still staring at the way they fit with each other. “Was that not you who has a heart of gold- who, even when at her worst, saw the human in me and helped me?”
“Stop,” you almost cried, wanting nothing more than to let him hold you. You didn’t look his way again but he kept playing with your hands and waited for you to continue.
“What are you so afraid of, y/n?” He whispered.
“There’s way too much to be afraid of,” you finally lost your patience and looked at him. “Firstly… I’m a human and you’re a siren- and it can’t end well. I don’t know how this could work- but from what I’ve heard, it can’t work-”
“So you do want me,” Yeosang was grinning now and you shook your head in disbelief. Had he not heard a word you said?
“Do you like me more now that I’m almost a siren?” You locked eyes with him and when you saw his smile fall, you knew you had asked the wrong question.
“If that’s what you think, I’m willing to wait for you until you’re human,” he managed to say though he felt his heart had been ripped. “Though, I thought it was obvious even when you were human.”
“No, I’m sorry I asked that,” you admitted. “It’s just… I’m not certain about the future right now. I don’t want to make a promise to you that I cannot keep- not when I’m in this state. I may have gotten used to it thanks to your help but that does not mean I like it.”
“But… you do like me?” Yeosang asked and in that moment, he looked so vulnerable that something in you broke. All the walls you had built to guard your hesitation, fear, and the stupid second thoughts came crashing down and you almost whimpered with the sheer ache in your heart as you slid closer to him, cupping his face in your hands.
“I want you,” you told him, watching the uncertainty on his face fade away. “I don’t know what song you’ve sung but despite you not having your siren voice and despite my immunity to a siren’s song… I’m bewitched and I want you so bad.”
That was all Yeosang needed and he put one arm around your waist to tug you closer until you were flush against him. You joined your foreheads, simply breathing in the proximity and getting used to it, the brushing of your noses driving you absolutely insane. When your lips brushed, it took everything in you to draw away and look at him, his eyes fluttering open.
“Let me just get that damned sorcerer first,” you said, pecking his lips for good measure and surprising him. “Let me just sort my mess out, and then…”
“And then…” Yeosang smirked, pecking your lips and looking at you- if he meant to drive you insane, it worked because you were kissing him back as if you were on stolen time, trying to draw him closer than ever, his hands every fucking where. This time, he broke away and finished with peppering kisses all over your face. 
“You don’t have to be afraid of what’s next, okay?” He said, kissing your cheek. “I’m with you. We’re all with you. You’ll be okay, love.”
You snuggled into his neck and he held you for the rest of the night. And now, here you were, back to being whatever you were. Yeosang led you inside the house and you noticed that there wasn’t much dust inside.
“He’s been here recently,” you commented. “Are we splitting up?”
“Definitely,” Jongho said. “Me and San can cover upstairs.”
“Okay,” you nodded. “Yeosang, you should start with the rooms, I’ll do the living room and kitchen.”
Though reluctant to let you go, Yeosang did, understanding the shortage of time. You had your eyes on the shelves where several books, candles, inkpots and other objects were placed. You skimmed through the titles- they were mostly history and fictional. You made a face- perhaps he was a reader. You found it odd, though, that there were no books on spells or magic like a sorcerer should have. The objects there were mostly stationery and you checked a few letters but found nothing strange. Disappointed, you searched the kitchen and the hallways, finding Yeosang there who was also looking lost. 
“Found anything?”
“Seems like a normal person so far,” you sighed. “I hope Jongho or San find something. Found any signs of another person living here?”
“None- he seems to be alone. There’s a locked cabinet in there that San should check, though.”
Right then, you heard the two coming downstairs, empty-handed and perhaps as disappointed at you. San said, “For a sorcerer, he sure hates spell books. There’s a library up there but no books on spells or magic.”
“Isn’t that odd?” You asked. “What does a sorcerer usually have in his possession? At least a spell book or some magical items, right?”
“Nothing like that here,” he said.
“There’s a locked cabinet in there- you should check that,” Yeosang led San inside what looked like the master bedroom and San assessed the cabinet. 
“There’s no spell on it,” he said, opening it with ease. “And there’s nothing inside. Must be for whenever he actually stops by.”
“I told you it would be a waste,” Jongho looked happy to have proven his point and you glared at him.
“It won’t be a waste,” San assured. “We know that he stopped by here only a few days ago thanks to the mailbox. I checked his study and found that one of his properties is located in the neighbouring town which means if he’s not sailing right now, he must be there. I tried a location spell but I got nothing.”
“Wow, are you a part-time detective or something?” Jongho looked impressed.
“Just observant,” San scoffed. “Unlike you lot.”
Which sparked a heated debate and while you all argued as you exited the room, Yeosang noticed a peculiar painting hanging in the hallway and he paused to examine it. San asked if something about the painting was familiar. You looked at it- it was a gloomy painting of a lone man sitting on a rock with waves crashing around him.
“I’ve seen this place,” Yeosang sounded sure. 
“And?” Jongho asked, waiting.
“I’m pretty sure the place in the painting is the caves where the sirens dwell near Fomalhaut. You see the ashen mountains? The only volcanoes on this planet are near Fomalhaut and near Regulus. I’ve been here.”
“And what’s so special about this location?” San asked.
“The most monstrous sirens dwell there- the elders, we call them,” Yeosang looked at San. 
“Interesting,” you contemplated his revelation. “But… what’s the problem with this painting specifically?”
“No one who’s human has ever made it out alive after crossing that place, so… how could someone have painted it so accurately? Down to the specific details about the place?”
“What are you saying?” Jongho asked. “Someone told a painter in great detail or…”
“Or someone painted it themselves,” Yeosang touched the painting. “Did any of you see any painting supplies?”
“In the study upstairs, yes,” San said and Yeosang pursed his lips. 
“A lack of spells or sorcerer-related items and this painting… why do I have a feeling our sorcerer isn’t a sorcerer at all?”
You felt your heart sink. “What is he then? Human? But you said no human made it out alive-”
“What if he’s a siren, just like me?” Yeosang looked at you, eyes a little wide. “Pretending to be human- if he hasn’t used his voice in a while, he could pass as a normal human. He pretends to be a sorcerer and wanders around- the Wanderer.”
While you stood having major flashbacks about all your meetings with the Wanderer, San asked Yeosang if he was sure but even San felt like it was more plausible than anything so far. Jongho put a hand on your back, rubbing it. “It doesn’t matter if he’s a siren or a sorcerer or whatever. We’ll get him, okay?”
“I know we will,” you smiled weakly. “I just… if he’s a siren, why?”
That was an answer you’d get soon.
—--------------------------
If you were expecting to find the sorcerer in another mansion like the one he owned in the town you came from, you couldn’t have been far from wrong. You didn’t know what exactly you thought you’d find in this town, but…
The sorcerer sitting on the porch of an old hut by the beach was just not it. 
You stood looking at him from a distance, the rest looking as confused as you for their own reasons. You, for one, hadn’t expected him to look so ragged. 
“That is not a sorcerer,” San shook his head. “He has some incantations done on him, but he is not a sorcerer.”
“You’re right,” Yeosang looked the most surprised out of you all and he met your eyes before he said, “That’s a siren, not a sorcerer.”
“A siren?” Jongho frowned. “Can you sense him, y/n?”
You couldn’t. You asked Yeosang, “How do you know?”
“Because I’ve seen him before, when he was a siren,” Yeosang held your wrist. “I don’t think this is a good time to confront him- we need to strategise-”
The sorcerer- or whoever he was supposed to be- looked right at the group of you with a faint smile on his face as if he had been expecting you. He got up and brushed his clothes before treading almost inhumanely towards you. 
“What a sight,” the Wanderer clapped. “I was expecting you, huntress.”
Yeosang pushed you behind him protectively and finally, the Wanderer looked at someone else other than you and something in his face changed- he looked highly amused. “Oh, look who we have here. A siren protecting a human!”
“Who’s turning into a siren herself thanks to you,” Yeosang’s voice sounded so different from anything that you had ever heard and you looked at him in surprise. “What’s the reason behind this curse?”
“A curse, you call,” the Wanderer scanned San. “As a sorcerer, you must know what drives a person to curse someone.”
“Was it something I did?” You finally asked. “Why me? Why am I turning into a siren, of all the things?”
“I just knew there was something about you when I saw you, and I was right!” He looked up at the sky as he laughed, the black strands of his hair falling back, and you resisted the urge to claw at him. “You, a siren-hunter, have a siren wrapped all around your fingers! Now that’s one variable I didn’t predict.”
You scoffed. “That would be an overstatement-”
“You’re him, aren’t you?” Yeosang began, sneering at him. “The siren we’ve heard so much about. The bedtime story of what would happen if you fall in love with a human.”
“Someone clearly didn’t learn,” the Wanderer looked at Yeosang. “And look at what happened. She’s now turning into a siren. Would you still love her if she becomes the monster that you swore not to be?”
That was it. You unsheathed the longsword and pointed at him, its tip almost meeting with the Wanderer’s chin. He glared at you in response. “I’ve had enough of your rambling. I don’t care what happened to you or who you are. You gave me an arrow that saved lives, cursed as it was. Undo it, now. That’s an order.”
His gaze darkened. “Do you really think it’s that easy to reverse a curse that was born after decades of grief? Grief longer than perhaps this siren’s life?” He pointed at Yeosang. “Your best bet is obviously killing me, but I have unfinished business, human. It’s better if you give in to the instinct clawing at your heart. Don’t you think so, siren? You wouldn’t have to worry about the other sirens hunting you down for loving a human like they did to me.”
“You know, for a siren who claims to be harbouring this grudge for what? Decades? Almost a century?” Jongho began and you met eyes with San- Jongho was definitely going to infuriate the siren so you had to act quick. “You sure have been slacking. Perhaps, you do not possess what it takes to get revenge like these two here. Are you sure you’ve got your revenge story right?”
And though the siren may have long given up on who he was, he sure had a few tricks up his sleeve. In a blink, he had produced a dagger and sent it for Jongho who narrowly dodged it and San immediately drew a shield around all of you. However, having pretended to be a sorcerer for so many years, the Wanderer was prepared. His next dagger went right through San’s shield, grazing his shoulder in the process.
“All of you, stay back,” you muttered, fuming with anger. “I’ll deal with him on my own.”
Yeosang wasn’t having any of that though. He loaded an arrow at the siren and let it loose, hitting him in the calf and the Wanderer sent a wave of air in your direction, throwing you both back a good distance, groaning in pain.
“It doesn’t have to end this way, huntress,” he called, tearing a piece from his clothes and quickly wrapping his wound while you recovered. “You can embrace being a siren. Being a human won’t do you any good in the long run.”
“And what would you know about being human,” you spat. “Why target a siren-hunter like this, huh?” You walked away from where Jongho and San were- it looked like the Wanderer hadn’t recognised Jongho yet and that was good. “You could have manifested whatever grudge you had into cursing the sirens who actually wronged you-”
“You don’t understand,” the Wanderer shook his head. “Sirens… They’re not the real monsters. We have laws and I broke one- I deserved my punishment, but humans?” 
He looked so broken in that moment that you finally understood. You recalled the story you had heard about the siren who fell in love with a human and realised with a sinking heart that his grudge against humans was well warranted. 
“You humans,” he started nearing the shore and Yeosang muttered a curse, dragging San and Jongho behind him as well. “You are the real monsters. And I’ve thought long and good about how I could avenge humans- I can’t just kill them all, can I? You prowl like ants on the land, there’s too many of you. But… you hunt sirens. You hunt us as if we’re the real monsters- you’re the perfect candidate.”
As soon as the Wanderer’s feet touched the waves, he raised his hands and you gaped at the sight of the waves growing louder, reaching new heights- did he intend to drown all of you? “When you become a siren- which you will, make no mistake- you’ll be hunting your own kind- humans.”
As twisted as it was, it made sense but at the same time… “You’re really going to do this?” You asked, while the boys muttered plans to each other. You could stall. “What have I done? I’m not the human who killed the person you loved. You know sirens killed my family too- how is this justifiable?”
“It doesn’t have to be,” the Wanderer smirked dangerously, raising his hand up and making a huge wave stand still in the air, making all of you take a few steps back and gasp. “I will kill your little group and make you watch, just like your kind did to me. And when you’re about to drown to death, you will give in to your siren instincts.”
Before you could retort, head spinning because there was no way this was happening, the Wanderer sent the wave crashing down on all of you and you lost your footing, almost getting carried away into the sea but Jongho was quick to grab you. 
Jongho helped you up while San sent another magical wave for the siren which turned out to be ineffective. Yeosang slicked his hair back, angry. “It’s not going to work- he’s a centuries-old siren. Our powers might be useless against him.”
“What then?” You asked, shooting arrows after arrows for the siren. “We let him kill us? We run?”
“I could try singing- he doesn’t know who I am yet,” Jongho quipped. “I don’t know if it would work against a centuries-old siren, but…”
“But it’s our best bet,” you nodded. “I wish I had an ebony arrow right now.”
“Uh, I may have something better,” Yeosang patted his chest. “I’m wearing my sister’s necklace made of a water dragon’s tooth- it’s fatal to sirens.”
“Why do you even own it,” you muttered, grateful there was at least something.
“She killed sirens with these- those who went rogue. Almost got killed too,” Yeosang grinned. “We gotta get close to him though-”
The Wanderer sent another wave, this time shaped as pointed arrows and you gawked at it, San grabbing all of you and trying to get you to hide behind the boards or anything. “You guys are not helping me at all, find cover immediately!”
You dragged Yeosang behind a shed- he was too in awe at the siren’s powers to react quicker. San stood his ground though, waving his hands and muttering a spell, this time a visible shield in front of you all and when the siren sent those arrows at you, his shield managed to hold it. 
“I’m going inside the hut and I’m going to sing,” Jongho announced. “When I give a cue, you better cover your ears, Yeosang.”
“Got it,” he said. “If the singing works, y/n, I’ll go stab him with the tooth- hey!”
You had snatched the necklace from him and you wound it around your arm. You looked at San. “Please make sure Yeosang covers his ears properly. I can’t risk him trying to cover his ears and stabbing the siren at the same time when he’s a siren himself.”
“No,” Yeosang tried grabbing your arm but you stepped back and hurt flashed his eyes. “There’s no guarantee this tooth won’t be fatal to you too- and there’s no telling if you’re immune to Jongho’s song anymore.”
“There’s not, but I’ll take the chance,” you smiled at him, hiding behind San. “Please restrain him, will you?”
“I could do it for you,” San said while grabbing Yeosang who was currently trying to snatch the necklace from you. “I should do this.”
“But you’re hurt,” you said, looking at the hut- Jongho seemed to be preparing. The Wanderer was currently going deeper in the waves, finally having gotten a break from you trying to shoot at him. “I should be the one to do this.”
“Y/n,” Yeosang shook his head, trying to break free from San’s grasp who understood that it couldn’t be Yeosang, at least, out of all of you. “You could get hurt-”
“I’ll be fine,” you assured him though you knew he was right- there was no telling how it was going to go for you. “I’ve got my earplugs so don’t you go shouting for me when I attack him, okay?”
San chuckled at that and Yeosang finally stopped fighting back. “I’ve got earplugs too.”
“Doesn’t matter,” you noticed Jongho’s signal. “You’re staying here.”
Before he could stop you, you walked to Yeosang and asked him to show you his earplugs. When he fished them out, you took them and switched them with yours. “Mine are better- they’ll keep you safe, okay?” You proceeded to put one of them in his ear, and when he held your wrist, pleading with his eyes to let you come along with him, you kissed his cheek. “Thank you for everything. I’ll be back, okay? As a human. I’ve got to do this myself.”
Yeosang understood- perhaps, the person cursed had to do the deed themselves to break the curse. You put in the other earplug and asked San to stay safe. And then you put in Yeosang’s earplugs, unsheathed your sword and marched towards the Wanderer. The vengeful siren sent wave after wave of pointed arrows at you but you fought back, gritting your teeth. You noticed the siren mouthing something but you really couldn’t care less- it was enough. You did not spend all those years siren-hunting only to become a siren yourself. 
So you raised the sword and pointed it at Jongho, all the while maintaining eye contact with the siren. “Your mistake was thinking that you were not at fault. Because when a siren loves a human, yes, they give it their all, but do you know what happens when a human loves a siren?”
The Wanderer paused, arrows hovering in the air waiting for his command. 
“When a human loves a siren… they forget they are mortal. It consumes them. They knowingly risk their short lives to protect that one brief moment of love they shared and they can die happy if they get that one moment,” you breathed, glancing back at Yeosang who was still struggling to break free from San’s grasp- San seemed to have obeyed when you told him a few days ago to magically restrain Yeosang if it came down to that. “Yes, humans wronged you. You should have dealt with those who wronged you instead of targeting another human who fell in love with a siren- just like your human. You really thought repeating history was the best idea?”
The Wanderer reconsidered for the briefest moment but as soon as you saw his gaze turn dark, you knew he was no longer the siren he once was. He had given in to his monstrous instincts and was too far gone. You raised the sword up and you heard the faint but sharp voice of the reaper pierce through the air. It sounded just like a siren’s call but somehow worse, if that was possible. You had heard it once before but this time, you had to actively resist it and it sent a burning sensation through your entire body.
You looked back at Yeosang who seemed okay but started struggling again when he spotted your pained expressions. You shook your head at him and gathered all your strength, you looked up to see the Wanderer entranced by the song.
It was working.
But he was too far away- even the distance of a few feet was seeming overwhelming when you couldn’t even take a single step. You ditched your sword and clutched your ears, taking one step and then another, practically crawling towards the siren-
And he finally reacted- he looked at you but his eyes were glossy. You clutched the tooth in your fist and he shook his head furiously, clutching at his ears but thankfully, Jongho was overpowering him. Once you reached him, you stabbed him in the chest-
Just as he took out his dagger and stabbed you.
You clutched at your own chest- he missed your heart by only a few inches. Now that you weren’t clutching your ears, you fell on your knees, the siren falling on his side as well, the waves washing over you two. He writhed in pain and you took out your earplugs, hearing the hauntingly beautiful call of the siren-hunter. You shut your eyes for a few moments until the siren fell silent and then you welcomed the darkness.
Jongho stopped singing as soon as he saw you both unmoving and he sprinted out of the hut, Yeosang and San following close. San made sure the siren was dead before extracting the tooth that was half-lodged in his chest, and Yeosang held your unmoving figure in your arms. 
“She’ll be okay, let’s get her away from the sea,” Jongho said and Yeosang nodded, jaw clenched in anger and relief as he picked you up, moving away from the waves and laying you down on the sand. San followed soon after, assessing the damage.
“I have a healing potion- do you think I should get it?” Yeosang asked worriedly and San shook his head. 
“Let’s not mess with her when she’s trapped in a curse- let me get this out first,” he said, extracting the dagger from your chest while Jongho put pressure on your wound. “Let’s hope the curse breaks after helping her heal a little.”
“I should have done something, anything,” Yeosang rubbed his face. “I should have-”
“No, you definitely should not have,” San reprimanded and Jongho agreed. “She’ll be okay even if she remains a siren. You would not have been okay. She protected you, okay? She asked me to protect you.”
“But-”
“Do you know what’s the last thing she said to that siren?” San was smiling. “She told him it was a mistake to target a human who fell in love with a siren.”
“But she-” Yeosang paused, raising his brows, wondering if he heard that right. “She said that?”
“Yes, you fool,” Jongho smacked Yeosang’s arm. “Give her a little credit. She’s not used to sirens being willing to protect her, okay?”
“Might be, a little,” you muttered, wondering if you were dreaming- everything felt cloudy. “He’s protected me far too many times for my own good.”
And when you heard the loud chorus of the boys asking if you were okay, you decided to go back to being unconscious for a little while longer.
—--------------------------
It was finally a sunny day at the sea after days of gloominess.
You took off your jacket, letting the heat soak through your shirt and spread throughout your body like a warm hug. You shut your eyes, smiling to yourself. Everything felt peaceful-
“Oh, so you can break an apple in half with your bare hands and you think you’re strong?” Yeosang scoffed. “I once cracked a siren in half-”
“Well, obviously the parameter is different,” Jongho pointed out. “You’re a siren.”
“I’ve lost most of my siren strength though. Maybe I should try cracking you in half-”
“Oh, try it on San,” Jongho pointed at the sorcerer. “He seems like he would be easy to crack.”
“Hey!” San scooted away. “You’re not doing that to me- hey!”
Yeosang had picked San up in his arms, quite effortlessly, while Jongho stood giggling at the way San tried to squirm out of the siren’s grasp. You would have tried to ignore them were it not for San having finally escaped and the three now running around you as they tried to catch each other. Yeosang almost bumped into you but with a quick apology, he was back to chasing him. You took a deep breath, willing yourself to let it go but when Yeosang tackled San and the two fell with a thud making the boat shake dangerously, you shouted at them.
“Not one moment of peace!” You glared at the three who straightened. “Yeosang, why would you want to crack San in half?”
“Yes, tell him!” San looked down at the siren-
“He’s obviously the easier prey out of the two and we need the sorcerer. I would be going after Jongho- he’s pretty useless save for his singing-”
“You traitor!” Jongho yelled at you and you grinned as Yeosang went after Jongho. San shook his head in amusement, settling down next to you. 
“Enjoying the sun?”
“Very much,” you grinned. “What’s our bearings?”
“On track like we’re supposed to,” San exhaled. “I hope we don’t run into trouble again. The last island was enough.”
Now that the four of you were a team, you were travelling the seas in search of a secluded island you could inhabit and call home- it didn’t have to be secluded. The last two islands you chanced upon were unwelcoming to your group and for all the right reasons. 
Your group attracted too much attention and nobody liked that. 
“Perhaps we’re meant to live on the sea after all,” you sighed wistfully. “Sailing endlessly, a home with each other, one siren, one sorcerer and two hunters. We should search for more crew members then, what say you?”
“It’ll happen if it has to,” San said. “We didn’t search for each other, did we? It just happened.”
“Well, we’re lacking a pirate and mer- wait, is that a boat?”
You calling it a boat was an overstatement- it was more like a raft with a lone man travelling on it. You looked at San, wondering if you had really manifested something. San asked, “Should I check? Seems like a good time to offer our services in exchange for some money.”
“Sure,” you laughed. “Let’s offer the poor guy a ride anyway- I don’t know how he made it this far in the middle of the ocean on a raft- I’m curious.”
“You’ll stay here- San and Jongho can do the talking,” Yeosang slumped next to you now that San and Jongho were steering the boat in the raft’s direction. “We don’t want a replay of how you handled a potential customer last time.”
“Come on,” you turned to him, scratching below his chin. “Just because I offered him our pretty siren in exchange for his longsword which was way prettier than mine, doesn’t mean I would have actually traded you. You know that, right?”
Yeosang narrowed his eyes. “Do I? Somehow I still suspect you would have gladly traded me for an object.”
You grinned, kissing his lips for a good moment. “Of course not. I don’t think I can part ways with my longsword.”
“But you will part ways with me, after everything we’ve been through-”
“And I can’t make out with a sword, can I?” You winked at him, watching the siren flush a million shades of red. He pursed his lips, flustered, suddenly finding the ends of your sleeves interesting. You enjoyed passing flirting remarks like that so much- Yeosang was experiencing love for the first time in his long life, though he claimed he wasn’t ‘inexperienced’. You made it your life’s mission to give him a love worthy of legends- something that would overwrite the tragic love story of a siren and a human which was all people knew for centuries now.
“Y/n, Yeosang!” Jongho called. “Our guest claims to have escaped a pirate ship.”
“On a raft? Impressive,” you got up, shaking the man’s hand and assessing his appearance- his red hair looked like it was different shades in the sun. His skin was a little tan and he was wearing a lot of jewellery. “Where do you come from?”
“You might have heard of the White Mask? The pirate crew? I was their firstmate but things happened. I no longer wish to be a part of them so I escaped with what I could.”
“Wow,” you breathed- you were in the company of the legendary firstmate of the White Mask. You had heard a lot about those pirates whom even other pirates feared but you never expected their First Mate to look so… normal. “How can we be of service?”
“I wouldn’t have bothered you all- I can make it to the continent on my own, but when I sensed who you were, I couldn’t resist joining.”
“Sensed?” You frowned. “What are you then?”
“Half mer,” he grinned. “Nice to meet you, I’m Hongjoong. I heard you were looking for more crew members?”
You looked at the others who looked slightly amused, a bit shocked, but willing to see if you could have the legend of a pirate joining your crew.
“Well, I sure hope we get along,” you smiled.
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nyx-is-missing · 4 months
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Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (Athena's kid)
Sumarry: When a certain daughter of Athena felt unappreciated her whole life, someone was there to see her.
Warnings: Sad girl hours, shitty parenthood, hurt/comfort because im no monster and probably other things wich i forgot.
a/n: look who is back!
Demigod.
Half blood.
Half a goddess.
Half a human (?).
And yet, fully a disappointment.
When Athena sent me to my Dad's house, in a golden crib, dressed in pure white dress, glowing, how the myths would expect a demigod to be, then, and only right then i was a gift.
A piece o divine love, something to prove to him, till the end of his life, that at some point, he was good enough for a Goddess.
But days after, immediately, i was just a crying baby, hungry, with a busy father, without a mother, and that only made him remember that, that was it.
He wasnt good enough for her, she wasnt staying, she never even actually even considered, he would never have that kind of honour, only a crying baby he never expected.
I wasnt a gift anymore, it actually felt like i was a insult, everything about me started to enrage him.
And oh, how did he reminded me of that every single day of my existence.
When i got diagnosed with dyslexia all i've heard whas that Athena gave me up to him because i was defective, when i couldnt sit still during classes, and exploded with all the repression i suffered everyday, suddently i was a clock bomb, when my grades where great, i was never rewarded, it was "the least i could do, to make up for the shame that i was".
I was never loved, never wanted, never encouraged, at least not by him.
The very little love i've known in my life, i own to the people who felt pitty of me.
The teachers, the neighbours who have heard the insults, the stray animals who could sense sadness, the very old grandparents who never actually saw me more than twice a year, and the people who worked at a nerby library, who let me stay past closing time, leaving only with the cleaners.
I was 12 when he had enough and sent me to camp, literally the very day school was over.
I came home to my clothes packed and him waiting by the car keys.
Being in camp for the first time, was also the very first time in my life i have ever felt....normal.
Not good, not bad, not great, not terrible, i was one, and that was enough.
I spend that summer being quiet, i sat in the corner, i didnt spoke, i didnt interrupted, i didnt had any ideas, i wasnt good enough to do that, thats what i've been told my whole life, thats my true.
It took a whole new summer for Athena to claim me.
I have always wondered if she was fighting with herself, if she had any problems having to admit that she made a mistake, with me, or with him.
It didn't matter, for the first time i had brothers and sisters, who wanted me, who understood when i wasnt the best, who asked for my graded tests, to put up in the wall.
They understood when i was hard to crack, when i insisted in being quiet, when i wouldnt share my ideas, they understood it all.
I didn't.
Each and every new summer i spent there, all i could ask myself was:
Why could i not be great like all of them?
Why im still afraid?
Why i was still useless?
Im now sixteen and the same questions still were unanswered.
And today i felt worse than ever.
It was my birthday, and i havent got a single letter from him, nothing, nothing.
It felt like he was saying i wasnt worth anything again.
Earlier, i tried to pretend nothing was happening, smiling with my siblings, finally making plans for capture the flag, finally belonging like i promissed i would try to do that year.
My plan was used, it wasnt perfect, but it was used, and surprising myself and the other team, we won.
I could see the other team confused, and Clarisse cussing us to death.
Still i was so happy, for the first time in my life i showed myself, and i worked....partially.
The happiness of victory didnt last much in me, because i saw a new brother of mine almost bursting to tears, he was young and just got claimed a few days ago, he wasnt used to that, and he wasnt supose to get hurt, but the red that painted his arms said otherwise.
I couldnt stare at him without feeling like i failed again.
Why couldnt i be perfect for once?
I took him to infirmary and held his hand while he was getting his stiches, saying sorry all the time.
I tried thinking it was okay, people get hurt, move on.
I had diner, i took a bath, i tried to sleep, i couldnt.
The tears were falling down and i knew i wouldn't be quiet.
So i got up and walked to the cabin's porch, sitting on the last step and letting my head fall to my knees.
Why couldnt i be great?
Why couldnt i be in peace with myself?
Why couldnt my mom bless me?
Why couldnt my dad love me?
Why did he had to be so mean?
I was a kid for fucks sake.
"Are you okay?" I heard someone saying, that made me freeze, that voice was not from any of my sisters, was i crying so hard i woke up someone from other cabin?
"I- yes, sorry i didn't knew i was crying so hard to wake people from other cabins, im sorry"
"You didn't, i was sneaking out to train some more, and saw you, our cabins face each other"
That was...Clarisse?
I wiped my tears and look up, she was staring at me with a almost worried look
"Clarisse?"
"Yes, why are you crying?"
She sat down by my side, dropping a sword in the grass.
"Its nothing really, im fine, you dont need to bothe-"
"No, cut the crap" she stopped me mid sentence "no one ever weeps in the middle of the night out of happiness, you are not fine and im not letting you lie OR leave until you tell me what it is"
We stare at each other, and ill need to thank the night light being bad because i probably look like crap right now, im sure my eyes are red, my nose too, im probably with a very swollen face and id bet all the dracmas i own that my hair its no better than a nest of birds.
"Go on...tell me"
I layed myself in the stairs, looking at the sky, trying to think of a way to tell everything, without sounding crazy
"I dont deserve to be here, Clarisse."
"Here..where?"
"This cabin, i dont deserve to be called daughter of the goddess of wisdom, i dont deserve being here with them, my siblings they are great, more than good, great, they will do great things with themselfs, amazing writers, architects, brilliant musicians, historians, why am i here? Im not even good, why im with the great?"
"Wait wait wait" she made me sit down again and look at her "not even good? What are you talking about? Wasnt the strategy in the last capture the flag yours? Yall won, and if somebody asks me later i've never said this but that was good, some really good strategy, i was almost thinking of asking chiron to switch you teams, you were great, more than that, and now you're here telling me you are not egen good? Are you on drugs?"
"Clarisse you dont need to pretend you care that much, and my plan wasnt all that, my brother got hurt, that wasnt supose to happen, i failed him, if i was good enough he wouldnt even be there"
She had a very confused look on her face, like she really did not knew what i was talking about.
"You're not talking about the little boy you took to the infirmary and that small cut in his forearm are you? Cause that boy was far from almost dying like you are making it sound like-" she looked at my eyes, i didnt needed a mirror to have sure how i was, i've seen myself like that too much to count, everytime my dad said i wasnt good enough, sad, lifeless.
"I failed again Clarisse, im not good enough to be here, im useless, worthless"
She looked at me and did the last thing i tought she would, Clarisse hugged me.
"Dont say that, c'mon, worthless? I've seen you fight, i've seen your plans, you dont talk much but i've heard your ideas, you are far from being useless or worthless, who the fuck told you that?"
"My f- you heard me?" I looked at her, only to see a look i couldnt distinguish "what do you mean?"
She looked at her own feet, then at her sword, reflecting the moonlight.
"You really dont know?" She looks at me "i- well, i've heard you, the same way i see you everyday, thats how i know you like morning walks, sweet green grapes, baked goods...how i know you are probably the only child of Athena who has never read "the art of war", that you walk without looking at peoples faces....its weird, i've seen you so much throughout this years and it feels like this is the first time you are actually seeing me"
"But i've saw you before-"
"Thats not what i was saying, you looked at me many times, but did you ever saw me until today?"
I looked at her blinking, and after a moment of silent i said "you like dark chocolate, and lemon flavoured soda, and sneaking out to train when the harpies take their breaks, by the way you missed that, and you always ask for double the quantity of food you eat, so when you burn it you still can eat enough, by the way i stole that idea-"
She is smilling, big, really big, i think i am too.
Of course i saw Clarisse, who wouldnt, she was strong, brave, beautiful, to me was a wonder she didnt had people running to get her attention.
She got closer to me "does that mean i can-" i stopped her mid sentence again
"Maybe..."
"Im going to make you forget that "im not good enough" nonsense, belive me"
She is smilling while kissing me, and i am too.
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