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#wtf i sound unsure about my own characters
crown-ov-horns · 5 months
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The Omen and AHS: Apocalypse prove one thing, if you're raising the Antichrist, hire satanist nannies.
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curetapwater · 1 year
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Notes on the Takeover:
Tails I'd argue is the smartest person here, yet he's forgotten how to read.
Sonic is audibly either exhausted, depressed, or both. Wtf happened to him in Frontiers (that's a rhetorical question, please don't spoil the game).
Eggman once wore man buns before he lost his hair.
SUPER EGGMAN??????
Queer-coded Shadow my beloved. I'd argue the lavender comment from the previous one was potentially a subtle way of doing this already but it was pretty blatant this time around.
Sonic has personal beef with strawberry shortcake.
Amy and Knuckles are under the impression that only one person can like any given color.
Knuckles exhibiting inattentive-type adhd.
Further confirmation that the Chao that appears in a lot of Shadow art is his personal pet that he loves so very much.
Knuckles leaves Angel Island to watch anime.
Amy seems more coy about her crush on Sonic than in the past, and I'm unsure why this is but regardless I'm interested in how her feelings might be developing.
Bee Movie.
Knuckles the Lizzo fan my beloved.
Shadow really really liked that horse-shaped rock (Shadow is a brony headcanon stay winning)
Shadow still thinks about Maria, but he seems to have come to a much healthier place regarding her memory. He drops her name so casually and seems content to describe his efforts to make the world a better place in her honor.
Cindy Robinson continues to be an amazing voice actress brughhugygyyh
I'm sorry, I'm still not over Sonic sounding way more depressed than Shadow this time around. Wtf is happening, is Roger okay or is this a character choice? Are we doing a Sonic has depression arc? Yeah, Sonic's humor can get pretty dry but holy shit is he good?????
Eggman gets bullied by teenagers for... packing his own lunch.
Shadow's recovery arc continues, I'm still not over how he was written and voiced here. He seems so happy with where his life is currently. He had so much fun in this one, you can hear it in his voice. The contrast between how in his first Takeover he was so hesitant to even do the "aye" in the Macarena but here he sings along happily. His open discussion of his life and his feelings. The way he so easily banters with everyone and makes plans to go to Little Planet with them. They are his friends!!! I wuv him.
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yeahiwasintheshit · 2 years
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watched that movie, Men, that came out this year, by alex garland and man, it was a wild crazy movie. its definitely a movie that will keep you captivated, esp the last third when it really goes off the rails.
tho the early parts of the move has those lulls in it where not much is going on and you can find your mind sort of wandering off, but then you really find yourself engrossed in whats happening. i was def literally on the edge of my seat for many scenes, cause alex garland really expertly crafted this icky sense of foreboding and dread. you are experiencing all these weird little creepy moments with the main character, harper, played by jessie buckley, who is really great.
i dont really want to say much about the plot in case it ruins it for anyone, eventho the plot is fairly simple, but essentially its about a woman whos gone thru a tragic experience, which still haunts her, and either as a result of that tragedy or not, she decides to rent an old old house in the english countryside, where... really creepy things start happening to her. i think id categorize this as a horror movie, but theres so much more to it than just one kind of genre. it is without a doubt a hair raiser. the hair literally stood on end for me in quite a few scenes in the early part of the movie where the threat was just starting to build.
its shot so so beautifully. garland gives the idyllic english landscapes this really creepy vibe. i noticed, more so at the beginning, (i didnt notice towards the end) that he shot a lot of scenes with a vignette on the lens, so many of those scenes at the beginning, esp along the abandoned train track and tunnel have this unnerving sense that you are watching the main character, harper, thru the eyes of whatever the threat is. kind of, pov of the serial killer a little. at least thats how it felt to me.
technically, this is so so good. from lighting to editing to even the depth of field it all helps build this claustrophobic feel to many scenes. garland even uses a couple shots that were very kubrick like. like, idk man, when you are like following a character and they are dead center in the frame and the camera is moving along behind them, it always feels creepy because of kubrick. of course the music and sound track help to build it too. its really unnerving when they use jessie buckleys voice and echo. it helps really ratchet up the tension.
man, i really want to talk about the last third because thats where it really took a wild left turn into weird body horror and its just crazy. one scene where harper finally uses the knife through the mail slot, i literally was making guttural gasps, it was gross and fantastic and weird. and thats not even the wildest part of it all lol its just so weird and crazy and gross. it was literally wtf (one minor criticism might be that all that weird shit doesnt quite seem to have a whole lot to do with all the other plot elements that preceded it... or maybe it did and i just am not smart enough to put it together. idk, either way, it wasnt enough to ruin the movie, and tbh all that crazy shit enhanced it somewhat, eventho i didnt know what the fuck was going on)
needless to say, def watch it if youre in the mood for some creepy weird gross folk-y horror. i think i have my own ideas of what garland was going for, cause like i said i def was a little unsure what was happening at the end. like i kinda thought this may all be in her head, but they make sure to show that it may not have been. that it may have all been real. idk. its all sort of left to the viewer to decide what happened, which i generally like. i dont particularly like movies that spell things out so clearly. and there is not a lot of clarity to what is and what isnt happening at the end. which im ok with.
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biggest-stupidhead · 3 years
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Gonna request a reader x Erwin where erwins bug schlong is simply too huge for reader to take so they do a lot of prep work. Maybe using dildos that increase in size bugger end bigger until she is finally able to take him ;3 ~
AN: Oof TBH I don't love Erwin all that much, he's just one of those characters that makes me mad. Butttt since I love you so very much I will write this.
Summary: Erwin's got a big schlong
Word Count: 918
Warnings: smut smut smut, choking, dildos, doggy style, !dom erwin x !pillow princess reader DNI if you are under 16!!!!
filth under tha cut
____
It was embarrassing really, it wasn't like you were a virgin or anything. You'd taken all kinds of dicks, skinny dicks, short dicks, fat dicks, but never had you come across one so large. You had tried every position, missionary, doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl. None of them made it any easier, you could only barely get the tip past your entrance before you were writhing in pain. Finally after about the millionth attempt Erwin tossed you back onto the mattress, chest heaving and face tear-streaked.
"I can do it." You gasped as he towered over you, erection still standing proud as he looked down at you.
"I know you can." His blue eyes swam with lust as he rubbed your calf.
"Let's try some more lube, I'm sure-"
"Let's do it my way." Erwin reached into his nightstand and produced a large dildo and you whimpered.
"But I can-"
"Let me take care of you." He cooed, leaning down so his lips were just above yours. You could only nod as he leaned back on his heels and set about lubing up the dildo, getting it ready for you. It was only slightly smaller than his own impressive dick.
"By the time I'm done with you, you'll be able to take my cock perfectly." he assured you and you swallowed thickly, somewhat unsure if this was going to be more painful than pleasure. But hey, they seemed the two seemed to go hand in hand any way.
"Yessir." You slurred as he nudged your hip, wanting you on your hands and knees. You obliged, digging your elbows into his tempur-pedic mattress and burying your face in his silk pillowcases. You could hear him squirt the lube onto his fingers and you tensed, anticipating the feeling of the cold substance against your throbbing pussy.
Sure enough, you felt the head of the silicone toy prod at your entrance, Erwin tapped your knee, asking you to spread your legs, and you quickly moved to comply.
"Please Erwin." You moaned breathily and he chuckled as the head slipped past your soaking folds and sank deep into your heat. You groaned, the feeling of your walls stretching both pained you and excited you.
"That's it." he hummed as he let the toy sink in until the base met your ass cheeks. "Please Erwin, I-I need more." You whined, wiggling your hips, begging for more. He pulled the toy back until the head nearly slipped out before sinking it right back in, he could still feel a great resistance in the motion. He would need to really warm you up, he gripped your hip in one massive hand to steady you as he began to pick up the pace. As he drove the toy into your slick heat you moaned and gripped the comforter, the pain ebbing away and quickly replaced by a warmth in your belly.
"Erwin, p-please I wanna-" You were beginning to loose coherency as the toy reached depths that you had never felt touched before.
"What is it sweetheart? What is it that you want?" He cooed, hand pressing between your shoulder blades, mouth near your ear.
"I-I want your cock." You managed to force out as he continued to slide the toy through your tight cunt.
"Since you asked so nicely." He slipped the toy out and you felt it fall off to your left on the comforter. You heard the lube squirt out again and you groaned in anticipation, spreading your legs wider so Erwin could kneel between them.
He shuffled closer and you felt the head of his cock prod at your entrance, slick with lube and your own arousal. You rocked your hips back and his dick slid up along your cunt rubbing your throbbing clit. You mewled and continued to rock your hips, grinding up against Erwin who let out a strangled groan.
"Enough." He growled, holding your hips still, he lined himself up at your entrance before pushing the head of his cock inside. This time you were ready for it, he slowly slid in the rest of the way, until you felt the peach fuzz of his happy trail touch your ass.
"More." You moaned and Erwin scoffed.
"That's all baby, all for you." He groaned, rocking his hips and slowly picking up his pace. The sound of skin slapping resonated off of the walls and you fumbled to reach your clit, your fingers found your sensitive nub and you began to frantically rub circles in time with Erwin's thrusts.
It was enough to push you over the edge, your walls clenching tightly as you came crashing down from your high. Your legs shook as Erwin continued to pound into you, chasing his own release relentlessly. With each thrust you felt the head of his cock press painfully against your cervix and you screamed as he grabbed a fistful of your hair. You arched your back like a cat as he slammed into you, his thrust sloppy and slowing as he came deep inside your pussy.
He pulled out of you and watched as your mixed fluids leaked out of your used pussy. He tugged your hair, pulling you back so you stood on your knees, your back pressed against his chest.
"That was better, good girl." Erwin praised, his hand found its home around your throat and he squeezed, cutting off your airflow. You gasped, eyes rolling into the back of your head.
"But I'm nowhere near done with you."
___
Uhhhh yeah. So tell me why it's so easy for me to write Erwin smut when I don't even like the guy wtf 😂. I hate it here.
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therealvinelle · 3 years
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What do you think the Cullens would do if some person they were talking to, out of nowhere just quite literally exploded in front of, and on them? Kinda like in that movie Spontaneous. Would they lose control and slurp up the mess on the ground, (and themselves) or would their bloodlust be curtailed by shock of wtf just happened?
I'd say something witty about how this is a strange anon to receive, but holy jesus you've sent me down a rabbithole.
Here's a trailer to the movie Spontaneous. It looks amazing. Kevin Feige wishes this had been his plot for Infinity War.
Here's a trailer for the movie Spontaneous Combustion, which I found by accident while searching for your fic. This looks amazing too. Can't believe Marvel didn't buy the rights to this guy.
I'm serious, people, you definitely want to watch these trailers. I just about died laughing.
So, on to your ask.
In the spirit of your ask, which implies a level of randomness, I thought the people blowing up should be random too. So, being in the mood to procrastinate through spending way too much time on tumblr things, I wrote a program that'll generate for me random Twilight characters.
Unsure whether the explosion should kill vampires or not, I generated an answer. The answer is yes, any generated vampire dies.
Without further ado:
Alice watches Vladimir blow up.
Alright, alright.
The first question to be answered here is why Alice is in Vladimir's presence in the first time. In canon they only meet once, at the end of Breaking Dawn.
For the sake of simplicity, we'll have Vladimir blow up then.
The Cullens and the witnesses are all celebrating being alive, when Vladimir suddenly explodes.
For the sake of the ask, Alice is sitting closest to him when this happens and making conversation.
Her first thought is utter shock. Not just that he blew up, but that she didn't see it coming (she wouldn't, because I randomly generated him. No decision was made). Her second thought is horror.
The Cullens just confronted the Volturi, now mere hours afterwards their allies are blowing up.
Holy fuck, Aro has a gifted ace up his sleeve, and he's using it to kill them remotely.
Panic ensues, not just for Alice, but among all the witnesses. Some of them refuse to leave, Bella has to shield those 24/7, though given the belief that her gift is psychic that doesn't make them feel very safe.
The others decide to go after the Volturi and beg for mercy, assuring them they never meant to challenge them.
Aro, of course, is very confused, but agrees. Why, yes, he does have a vampire who blows people up. Yes, yes he does.
Bella watches Aro blow up.
Oh I'm dying laughing at this one. And wishing I'd put this down for Carlisle, that would be even funnier, but alright.
Bella is walking about post-Breaking Dawn, minding her own business, when suddenly Aro appears in front of her. He looks around himself, utterly surprised by his sudden deplacement, and then blows up.
Bella has been living in terror of this man for years.
In Volterra he had his servant torture her and Edward and then made ominious threats, then a few months later the Eclipse disaster unfolded, finally we have Breaking Dawn where he showed up to murder her and everyone she loved.
Her shield may be powerful, but for as long as Aro was alive her family was never truly safe.
His untimely implosion changes all of that.
I imagine after a long moment of incredulity, Bella burns the rubble, just to be sure, then tells her family the joyous news.
Carlisle gives the guy a funeral. It's weird.
Carlisle watches Vassilii blow up.
Close call, due to my not switching out the names we almost had Angela. In which case Carlisle have stood there, covered in blood and in shock for several long seconds, before bringing out the bleach and gasoline for a crime scene clean.
As it is, Carlisle is minding his own business when suddenly an immortal child dressed like a medieval Eastern European appears before him. It says something in a foreign language that might mean "hi", he doesn't know but he says "hi" to it back, then the child blows up.
Carlisle stares at the rubble for a very long time, wondering if he is perhaps losing his mind. If, perhaps, Aro was right about animal blood being a slow suicide, and Carlisle has finally hit the limit for how long a vampire can go on without human blood.
He burns the rubble and prays for the child's soul, as an immortal child is doomed anyway, and keeps his silence about what happened. In part because there's a solid chance this was all in his imagination.
If Aro ever touches his hand again, and sees the immortal child that he burned a thousand years earlier resurrect, travel through time, all in order to blow up in front of Carlisle, he... well there comes a point where you say "nothing to see here" and refuse eye contact with the universe glitching.
Edward watches Randall blow up.
Randall, for the ignorants, is one of Carlisle's friends that came to witness for the Cullens in Breaking Dawn.
Suddenly he appears in front of Edward, says hi and how do you do, and then he blows up.
Edward tells Carlisle, who is saddened by this, and they try to piece the guy together. They fail.
Edward sends a somber thought to this noble man who agreed with Edward that the Cullens are awesome enough to be worth dying for.
Emmett watches Mary blow up.
Emmett will never admit it, but it's the coolest, raddest thing he's ever seen.
Esme watches Eleazar blow up.
Oh boy.
The Cullens are visiting the Denali. Irina has not been dead for long, but given the crystal clear memory of vampires, and the loss they already suffered (Sasha's death traumatized them) it doesn't really matter how long it's been, the Denali are devastated anyway.
The whole coven is as fragile as it can possibly get.
Then, Eleazar goes to join Esme in the kitchen, and explodes all over her and the kitchen.
The remaining Denali and the Cullens are called to the kitchen by the sound of Esme's screaming, and find her in hysterics, surrounded by gray rubble.
The Denali are near catatonic with grief at this point, while cooking has been ruined for Esme. One moment you're making food, the next people are exploding all over your kitchen.
Yeah.
Esme is not okay.
Jasper watches Nahuel blow up.
It's a shameful moment in his life.
But, hybrids are edible.
And that blood was splattered all over him.
Jasper has the worst control fail of his life, worse even than when he failed with Bella because this fail means he can't be around Renesmée anymore.
It's miserable all around.
The one highlight here is that it didn't happen when they were headed to the Volturi trial together.
Rosalie watches Emmett blow up.
Jesus christ, random Twilight character generator, just when I thought you were just going to give me boring results.
Not only does Rosalie lose the love of her life, the guy who kept her together, the one good thing she had going for her who made her life worth living, but he did so right in front of her, blowing up out of nowhere.
There's no explanation to be had, no culprit to be found, no reason for it. She had no goodbye, just as she can have no revenge.
She will never have closure.
Renesmée watches Renée blow up.
We go out on a high note, my god. Well done, generator, I'm laughing.
Renesmée is curious enough about her grandmother to go to Florida. She was going to watch from afar, but finds herself talking to the woman who raised her mother.
It's all going well until Renée suddenly explodes all over Renesmée.
Renesmée's first thought is nothing, she's in shock.
Then...
Well, she was controlled as an infant, so I don't think an adult Renesmée would lose it unless under extreme circumstances, like if she encountered a singer.
More, though, Renesmée might have any reasons of her own not to drink human blood, but she has been raised with this being a big no-no.
So she shouldn't.
However...
Is she ever going to get a better chance?
Ethically, she could easily argue this is the right choice. No one will be negatively affected by this, at least not directly.
The human is right there, already dead, and there's no body so while Renesmée does have to clean up the gore. Hell, if she laps up the blood on her clothes and the ground she will be cleaning up. Why waste perfectly good blood?
If Renesmée Cullen is ever going to have human blood, this is it.
It will come down to how much she respects her grandfather, and how important she believes Renée was to Bella.
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Bonus, because I'm having way too much fun with this:
Bree watches Atheonodora blow up.
Bree is minding her own business when suddenly a vampire unlike any she has ever seen before, one with hazy eyes and odd skin, appears before her. They stare at each other. Then the woman blows up.
Bree takes this to mean that exploding is apparently something vampires just do sometimes, runs off in a panic and, sobbing, tells Riley.
Riley, having no idea what to make of any of this, tells her it was those evil yellow-eyes with their witchcraft and sorcery.
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cuppajj · 3 years
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For your little Send Me A Character thing and you already know who it is... OVERLORD!!!
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you know me so well. and/or it’s not too hard to tell. probably the latter tbh bdhsbdbdbfbddv
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Answers below cut!
First impression: Funny thing is that I had two first impressions of Overlord: one before I knew what IDW was, and the other after I did but before I read MTMTE and LSOTW. My very first impression was through a yt video and I was honestly really unimpressed. Like, wow nice character design, that looks so dull and boring! Where are the cool vehicle parts? Smh. I also heard that Overlord was supposed to be this super scary and murderous bot, but I never did research and just thought that that still meant he was probably a boring villain. Like, ANY villain can be touted as super scary and murderous, that doesn’t mean they’re actually good. But after I discovered what IDW was, and read a few things about OL (including fics and comic dubs that helped introduce me to his character), I immediately took everything back. Like OKAY, never mind, this guy sounds AWESOME. As someone who loves villains, I had a feeling he was right up my alley.
Impression now: Gotta be one of, if not my most favorite Transformers villain ever. While I'm unsure if he's in my top five favorite transformers characters, he's definitely in an echelon on his own, unbound by such a simple list. Overlord makes me inexplicably happy. He's a horrible, horrible person, and does horrible, horrible things, but he's fun. He's aside from almost every other TF villain; he doesn't need a sad backstory or heaping dumps of complexity to himself. He practically chose to be irredeemable and henceforth revels in it. Of course he has some things that you can feel bad for, but compared to other TF villains? There's not much. My personal lack of sympathy for him is what makes him all the more enjoyable to follow. Not to mention, he's a lot of fun to draw; I thought his design was lame at first, but it's quickly become one of my favorites. It's also easy and fun to draw, and the color choices are (at least in IDW's case) bright and colorful and fit my personal tastes! Overlord is just someone I love to hate. Every moment with him is as thrilling as it is terrifying. Again: fun. I could honestly break down into a novel on why I like him so much but that's for another day...
Favorite moment: I can't choose but honestly I really liked it when he burst through his restraints on the lost light. Not only was that shot amazing, but his reasoning was token to his character: he could've broken free at any time, but he didn't feel like it until he learned that Megatron was alive. What a freakin DRAMA QUEEN. I also liked his dumb quarrel with Tarn and their back and forth about who Megatron likes more.
Idea for a story: Overlord deserves to be the main villain of SOME transformers media. I have a couple of story ideas myself but since they're actually headcanon-fics, I couldn't get into detail about them here. But one of them is the entirety of Super God Masterforce but remade for the modern day, which I've been thinking of sharing sometime soon... [but also I want a whole spinoff of MTMTE where it's him, Tarn and the DJD, and Deathsaurus's crew lost on the other side of space, and they have to tolerate each other and be a dysfunctional family while they find their way back. Also another story with Overlord as Megan trying to understand wtf human life is like on his mission to be a politician. I have a lot of thoughts as you can see,,,]
Unpopular opinion: I really don't like that southern accent on him. They should've made Patrick Seitz use his Dio voice. TBH my voice claim for him is Tim Curry with like, the slightest of a british accent. So like the lord of darkness from Legend but a little less growly. Also why do people ship Overpan/Overmax it's really uncomfortable...
Favorite relationship: Him and Tarn. They're so chaotic and whiny, and it's fun to watch them bicker like children. Good lord put them in day care
Favorite headcanon: I did like this whole thing for PWT where I explained through a meme why Overlord was worthy of the Unicron matrix like an anti-prime, and I am STILL clinging on to it as part of my personal canon. Also, I feel like if Overlord hadn't gone the way of a gladiator, he would've used his perfect frame and his theatrics to be an actor or someone in whatever the Cybertronian equivalent of the beauty/modeling industry is
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imeengoldberg · 3 years
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yall shouldnt be surprised when i can give you a dictionary length book full of just story titles of mlm stories written by cis straight women ive seen not looking for them, but can count on my hands and toes all of the (male character) x male reader stories ive found while looking for them.
its all fun and games until i also tell you, hey, theres even less (girl character) x girl readers, or just wlw stories at all. It’s starting to sound a lot like fetishization. 
im not saying you cant write mlm stories as a cis straight woman- obviously not. part of being a writer is writing stories far from your own personal experience. It’s just like what we call bad representation. those people (very flamboyent gay men specifically) do exist, but they are the only gay men every shown because they fit comfortably into hetero-safe stereoypes.
if you only write mlm stories, and youre not an mlm yourself, and you always have the same heteronormative dynamic (one uwu twink sassy girlboss and the alpha badboy in detention who coUldNt bE gAY, hE plAyS FoOtbAlL anD hAz MeAn GiRlFwIeND- but thats all an act? like geez, just say ur biphobic and ask random gay men to be ur gay best friend??) it just starts to lead me to the conclusion you dont have the queer community in your best interest.
honestly, the fetishization is disgusting. it reinforces already harmful stereotypes. Also, I have never, and I mean NEVER- found a mlm story about a trans man in love with another man that wasnt practically porn without plot, save for one kiribaku fic that i wish i could find again. That definitely does not put us trans men in a wonderful light. we are not to be sexualized for our bodies, and neither us nor mlm should be fetishized for loving.
if youre unsure you can accurately write a queer love story accurately, do not do it. if youre worried at all it will come off bad on the lgbtqia+ community, do not do it. it will not hurt you if it’s bad rep, but it will hurt us.
are you good at writing queer romance as a straight person but notice that you have an odd amount of mlm & straight romance and an abandoned desert for wlw or trans/nonbinary love stories? write some! we really need it!
also, there are not enough people of color in stories in general. i notice that a lot of the time, they’re shoved off as one of the side characters- at most, a best friend. why? well, we know why, its racism, but why in my fanfiction. like, this fanfiction was so good, until i realized every single character was described as a western/eurapean with white skin, when, listen, this is an anime and they’re all japanese, jessica. although it’s not something i can speak in depth about as a very white pasty mf, it’s something ive definately noticed and its very annoying tbh. all these mcs look the same. give me some actual people please.
speaking of actual people!
why are there no chubby mcs? ever? like wtf? i get it, skinny people aesthetic or whatever, but it’s actually so frustrating when every character is a size 0 and an unrealistic representation of average people, despite usually starting out as ‘average’. I’d like to feel good about my stomach instead of comparing it to a paragraph in a fanfiction.
finally, ive gotten to something good! 
wlw stories are finally getting as mainstream as mlm! not there yet, but it makes me smile every time i see a wlw story on my feed cuz it means were getting there :)
all-in-all, this is the reason I stopped reading fanfiction regularly a while ago.
this time two-five years ago, you couldn’t pull me away from the fanfiction. I would read main characters (women) who were only ever ‘tomboy’ enough to fall into a safe view of heteronormativity that I held. I’d never even seen the word transgender until middle school- and because my entire life I was conditioned to believe that that stuff was weird or gross, I rejected it hard.
It took me years to get to where I am, and it was a huge struggle. Not that this is one fanfiction/story writer’s fault. This is an entire community’s fault. I just dont want the next generation of queer, chubby, or poc kids to think they’re weird or lesser than like I did. If it’s something I can help to stop, I will.
So, if I ever write an original story, or original characters into a fic, you bet your ass its gonna be the most realistic representation of the real world i can get into a story. now, fuck jk rowling, and have a good night. au revoir, bitches.
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itsclydebitches · 3 years
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About crosshair. Again lol
Regardless of his scar not lining up with chip scar or the headaches or “soldiers follow orders” again. Or him without a chip being a liability to the empire. I just don’t buy his personality change in the end. I’m the pilot episode they hammered it over our heads it’s very unlike him to follow orders. He said himself “empire or republic, what’s the difference?” But now in the end he cares about the empire protecting the galaxy? Responds to hunter his choice is “soldiers follow orders”? Wtf, really? So he genuinely believes his only personality is being a soldier now? when it’s been established in both in cw and tbb that cf99, including crosshair only cared about completing the mission. I get that people change but not that abruptly especially if we are to believe techs “unyielding” description of him to be true. Echo is the one true soldier of the group. He keeps repeating to hunter “we are soldiers not smugglers”, “there is no other way than being soldiers” etc. but he is clearly loyal to the republic. And I never saw echo and crosshair to be similar in that
So yeah , I think it’s very out of character for crosshair to just see himself as soldier and being content with following order or being a pawn(which he must realize he is cause he’s not dumb) especially with his mega inflated sense of self importance. Just my two cents
Crosshair is a complicated character! There's a lot to discuss :D
That's a good point though. And yeah, as acknowledged the quick personality change could be chalked up to chip influence if it's still having some kind of impact... but if it's not, then what do we make of that?
Putting aside the "It's just bad writing" possibility, I think there's a key difference between not following orders and not being loyal to the organization giving those orders. They're not necessarily the same thing, though it's easy to lump the two together. Yeah, we see early on that the Bad Batch isn't known for doing things the "right" way. Rex and Jesse are pretty unsure about their methods when the Batch first shows up in TCW. In the pilot Tech has a line about how "We're more deviant than defective" emphasizing that they tend to do things differently. Crosshair's sudden willingness to follow orders to the letter, not just in spirit, is questioned during their time in the cell, etc. So yeah, they don't obey the rules, but I don't think that's because they're not loyal. They're not refusing orders because pff, screw the Republic/Empire, who cares about those guys. They're refusing orders because they recognize that their way of doing things—the unconventional methods that deviate from the standard clone playbook—is more likely to net them, and the Republic, a success. They seem to be against the Republic's rules because they want the Republic to succeed, recognizing that their way is the best way to get that. Wrecker takes great pride in their successful missions, keeping tally marks on their room's wall. Crosshair is constantly pointing out how the higher ups called them in because the Regs couldn't complete a mission, likewise emphasizing his pride in being needed. When Rex and Hunter finally start bonding, it's through Rex's decision to charge the droids head on, precisely like the Batch would, rather than following the "correct" strategy of carefully picking them off from the tree line. They bond over the understanding of, "Yes. This is the best way the Republic wins." Perhaps most significantly, the Batch was still willing to complete missions for the Empire up until they were ordered to kill civilians. Killing Jedi resulted in an acknowledgement of how messed up that was... but no solid intent to leave.
All of the above is important because it establishes the Batch's need to be loyal to something other than themselves. The kind of loyalty that is shown through intense, life-threatening acts of service. Hunter's line about them being loyal to each other rather than some Empire, while true, is a simplification. Their loyalty to the Republic and their loyalty to one another overlap in many, many significant ways, simply because the Batch was created for the Republic. They have literally spent their entire lives living, breathing, fighting, and almost dying for the Republic. Their core identities stem from the Republic's desires: skills they want them to cultivate and even personalities they want to foster, if Tech's theories are to be believed (that conversation with Wrecker in the mess hall). The loyalty the Batch feels, those bonds they formed over the years, stem entirely from completing missions for the Republic. Their love for one another is, at least at the start, a product of the Republic's desire for Good Soldiers. And yeah, they sometimes did things the Republic technically didn't like, but it was always in service of achieving the Republic's end goal, whatever that may have been. They were very good soldiers, just soldiers that understood the value of creative thinking. "You want me to reach this location? Of course! I'll reach it by cutting across the grass, despite you asking me to follow the path already laid out. But our goal and the Regs' goal is exactly the same: fulfill your mission. That's our purpose in this life."
And then the Republic became the Empire.
Every one of these characters has a need to serve some higher purpose, to complete missions for the benefit of another. Overlooking the very literal ways in which they may have been genetically predisposed towards this (like the chip), and the cultural brainwashing that went on the second they were born (this is your duty, this is your purpose, this is all you exist for), this is, simply put, all they've ever known. Though it's possible to walk away from that need, it's by no means easy. So what saves the majority of the Batch from falling into that "Republic, Empire, what's the difference?" thinking out of a need to serve someone?
Omega.
I think it's crucial that the second they abandon one mission—killing civilians for the Empire—there's already new mission waiting for them to focus on instead—rescue and protect Omega, indefinitely. That's Hunter's thinking. We're not going to do A, we're going do B instead. All they did was put that single-minded focus onto a new target, but the focus—the need—still exists. And we see that throughout the first season, where everything the Batch does is in service to Omega. Their life decisions revolve entirely around her, from very small things (here's your own room on the ship) to the much larger (we need to stay on the move to help you avoid bounty hunters, even if we may want to find someplace to stay). The purpose of a soldier has been mapped onto the purpose of a parent, with the new, ongoing goal being "Raise Child" as opposed to "Win War." Putting aside for the moment the fact that this is an action-adventure show and thus exciting plot has to happen, I think it's notable that no one suggests non-soldier-y things to help them make money. Tech isn't offering his intellect as an easy way to make credits, nor Wrecker his strength. No one is seriously thinking of a planet they could hide out on, even from bounty hunters, so as to raise Omega in peace. They are still, fundamentally, the people they were during the time of the Republic, people who need to fight for something. Literally fight. It's just now they're chaotically fulfilling missions for Cid so they can give Omega a halfway decent life, rather than chaotically fulfilling missions for a general so they can give the Republic a chance at winning the war.
Omega is the new focus, the new Republic stand-in, but what happens if she's not an option? (Would have been really interesting to see what the Batch did if she'd actually left with Cut.) Without the chip affecting his thoughts, I fully believe Crosshair would have left with the others. Why wouldn't he? That's his family and, per Hunter's orders, Omega is the new mission. But the chip ensured he missed that chance and by the time he came out of it (if he came out of it), it was too late. His squad was gone, they never came back, and Crosshair needs to find a new place in this galaxy, just like they did. Except his options are far more limited and suck a whole lot more. I can't recall anything that implies Crosshair thinks the Empire will save the galaxy, but he does think it's going to control it and he's looking for his own purpose in this new life. Why not find purpose in the winning side? He can serve the Empire just like they served the Republic. He can serve the Empire just like his squad now serves Omega. The need to belong somewhere, to have that larger goal, outweighs those pesky ethical issues, at least for now. Though to me the "Good soldiers follow orders" really, really still sounds like chip influence, it can also be read as a broader acknowledgment that yes, they are fundamentally soldiers and yes, they do need orders of one kind or another. They need that mission. That goal. That purpose. Someone who helps to guide them in this new, crazy galaxy. Yeah, they've always bent and gotten creative with the orders, but until 4/5ths of them left the Empire, they'd never ignored the orders as a whole. None of the Bad Batch went, "I'm not taking this mission because the Admiral was an asshole to us about it and I don't feel like it :/" They suck up all the hard parts—the awful treatment, the danger, the general difficulty—because they have a goal to fulfill. They live for having a goal, literally in the sense that this is what they were made for. The Bad Batch is still doing that with Cid, putting up with bad treatment, dangerous situations, and general difficulty because they have that larger goal of taking care of Omega. Crosshair missed out on that, so he latched onto the Empire instead. Which circles right back around to previous points that if the Batch had tried to rescue him and/or been more welcoming when offering his return, Crosshair likely would have joined in on the Omega mission too. It's the best new purpose for all of them.
Crosshair sees himself as a soldier because, right now, being a soldier of the Empire is the only way he can find the purpose and belonging that the rest of the Batch maintained with each other and Omega, back when he was left behind. No, he's not dumb, but the logistics of the situation outweigh his knowledge that things are far from perfect. Do we think the Batch doesn't also realize that Cid is continually taking advantage of them with 70/30 splits? Of course not. But they need a way to survive and, right now, this is it. Crosshair likewise recognizes that the Empire is treating him as a pawn—I think he was in denial prior to the bombing, but now he definitely knows—but what other option is there? Not his squad. As discussed, he feels strongly that he's no longer welcome with them, with good reason. The only other option is to go off on his own, something that's incredibly foreign to clones who were bred to serve that higher purpose alongside many, many brothers. Yes, we've seen one or two who manage that—like Cut—but they're the outliers. Rex found his new purpose fighting the Empire with Ahsoka. The Batch found their new purpose taking care of Omega with each other. Crosshair's new purpose is... nothing. Not unless he swallows down his misgivings (and his ego) and keeps serving the Empire until a better purpose comes along.
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(art commission by the lovely and talented @curious-menace)
It is a time where I would like to see what my followers think about various concepts I have in mind pertaining to alternate versions of one my fics. It may take some time to write out any alternate versions since I've been busy and stressed out so much lately, but I am very curious as to what others would find intriguing to read.
But first, some backstory so be patient. We'll get to the voting at the end of this post.
I've been having a lot of bad days lately, and my mood has plummeted to a major low. This includes my self-esteem, which has always been in the dumps but is now basically a dumpster fire.
However, I don't want to be entirely cruel to myself. I deserve some sort of happiness, some sort of reprieve, and writing can be a good coping mechanism. I put a lot of my own thoughts, emotions, struggles, opinions, etc. into my works, as they serve as a way for me to get things off my chest. Sometimes, it's just cute and funny stuff, other times angsty but eventually fluffy stuff, and other times it's quite depressing and dark.
One fic, in particular, stands out, and that is the Mortal Kombat/Batman Arkhamverse crossover, "Volunteer," (trigger warnings: mentions psychological torture and suicide...more about this fic in a bit for those who would rather not read it because of those triggers) which features Arkham Knight Edward Nigma and Jonathan Crane, as well as a lady friend for Edward named Sara. It also features Erron Black and Cassie Cage from Mortal Kombat (Cassie is only mentioned in the story a few times).
If you read the blog intro/self-introduction post pinned at the top of my Tumblr, you know very well how I feel about Cassie Cage (particularly in MK11) and the Erron Black x Cassie Cage (BlackCage) pairing. Those negative feelings are mostly due to a very bad experience with a pushy BlackCage fan who just wouldn't relent one bit on their stance and it was emotionally and mentally draining to try and talk to them, including providing counter-arguments.
I've come up with alternate versions for "Volunteer" recently due to the spike in stress, depression, anxiety, and insecurities I've been dealing with as of late. This is where my followers come in!
I would like people to vote on which alternate take on "Volunteer" they would be interested in reading. Now, I can't guarantee when I'd get to it because, as I mentioned already, I've got a lot going on. However, I really want to try and write at least one alternate version of that fic, just to get some insecurities and negative thoughts off my chest.
Now, for those who are wary of reading "Volunteer" because of the trigger warnings, here's my advice: Just read the first chapter, if you want to. Chapter 2 deals directly with the sensitive subject matter, although, you can probably guess what happens anyway just by reading Chapter 1 and if you know anything about Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow...well, he likes to mess with people...mentally. To put it very mildly.
Now it's time for the voting. I have three different scenarios I've come up with that are variations/alternate versions of the current "Volunteer" fic's concept/storyline. I'd like followers to select 1 (one) alternate telling of the fic. I will open anonymous asks again, so if you are shy or just want your vote to remain a secret for some other reason, then that's fine by me. Otherwise, you can reply to this post with your choice.
Edit: if you are turned off by the idea of a Mortal Kombat/Batman Arkhamverse crossover, I get it. I don't read crossover fics myself, and that's usually because the crossovers either make no sense or do make sense but the ideas are poorly executed.
This crossover I'm talking about, though, isn't a full-on crossover of MK and Batman. There's no world-building, no larger plot, and no other characters in MK even appear or are mentioned except Erron Black and Cassie Cage.
If anything, it's more of a Batman Arkhamverse standard AU with Riddler and a female oc, and Erron and Cassie are the only concrete elements of MK brought in. I mean, yes, the other MK characters exist, I guess, but they have no purpose in this crossover I've written, and won't make any appearances.
So, if you had any concerns about the crossover aspect, I hope this clears things up
Choices below the cut!
A) "Don't You Wish"
This version is inspired by a song from Pink, called, "There You Go." In this alternate telling, Erron manages to survive Scarecrow's fear toxin, and escape (most likely because Erron is out of his mind and panicking, thus not a threat, and he has no one to help him, so Scarecrow doesn't give a damn what happens to the dude). The first thing Erron does is go to Sara's place, having already broken up with Cassie after realizing dating her was a mistake, and Sara means more to him than he thought.
Well, it's been several months since Sara basically pushed Erron out of her life for his poor choice in women, and (Arkham Knight) Edward Nigma has proven to be a much better (and, wiser and more sensible -- yes, I know, but he's not a skirt chaser, Guys) friend to Sara. While Erron ran off with a blonde selfie princess, Edward offered genuine comfort and companionship, and now Sara has been in the process of moving on from Erron even further.
Sara humors Erron and lets him tell her -- while sounding terrified, confused, and conflicted beyond belief thanks to the fear toxin -- what happened to him. Now, Sara doesn't know Edward asked Scarecrow to take care of Erron as a means of getting revenge for her. Doesn't matter anyway. She's unsympathetic towards Erron's plight, feeling as if he didn't even give her a chance to confess her feelings towards him, nor did he even seem to notice how she felt; it was like he was too busy with thinking with his privates to realize he had someone in front of him who would have treated him better.
Sara tells Erron -- in a flat, disinterested tone -- that his situation is tragic and all but wtf is she supposed to do? Why not go to his dumb blonde gf? Oh, they broke up? Well, how predictable. And Crane is also a (sort of) friend to Sara, which shocks Erron and leaves him feeling worse than before.
Sara sends Erron on his way, and he wanders off in a daze, unsure of what to do with his life now.
Sara and Edward meet the next day, and they have a pleasant time, obviously moving towards becoming a couple. She chooses not to mention Erron as she is completely severing the cowboy from her life.
B) "I Don't Even Miss You"
This alternate telling is similar to the previous one, but this time it's inspired by a Miley Cyrus song, "WTF Do I Know" (Hey, her Plastic Hearts album is actually fantastic!), and Edward is with Sara when Erron arrives at her place in a distressed state. At first, Sara deals with Erron in the hall of her apartment building, unsympathetic to his plight and basically telling him, "I told you so," and "too bad." Erron is getting more and more upset, even angry at Sara's callous tone, and starts to raise his voice, demanding to know why she is being so cold at a time like this?
Edward overhears Erron raising his voice to Sara, giving her a difficult time, and he gets pissed. Edward steps out into the hall and not only mocks Erron in various ways, but demands that he leave immediately, or what Scarecrow did will seem like a trip to Disney Land. Erron has caused Sara -- who is currently moving on and growing closer to Edward -- enough problems and heartache.
Edward reveals he set up Erron, and while Sara is stunned to find this out, she handles it better than expected. Edward said it was his way of getting revenge for her, and he'd do it again if need be. Erron is sent away feeling so much worse, feeling lost, hopeless, and betrayed.
Sara and Edward talk and she admits she's upset that he did something like this without speaking about it to her first. However, he explains that he genuinely did it for her and he doesn't want her to feel pain at the hands of some "idiotic cowman," who doesn't consider the feelings of others and who behaves like a greedy, violent Neanderthal. (And yes, Edward does care for Sara, and he didn't send Scarecrow after Erron out of jealousy -- maybe a little jealousy but it was mostly rage over Erron causing Sara so much emotional pain)
Sara means more to Edward than he can express, and he may not be the best when it comes to emotions, but he does care about her and wants her to be safe.
Sara forgives Edward, understanding that, through his heartfelt but very nervous and shy confession that he is sincere about his feelings for her, and they make amends. She of course tells him to never do something so extreme without consulting her first, though, because what happened to Erron -- while she doesn't care what happens to him in the slightest -- was a bit too much.
C) "Listen When the Devil's Calling"
Another title inspired by a Miley Cyrus song, "Night Crawling," and this alternate telling involves Telltale Riddler and no Scarecrow. Almost a year has passed since Erron went with Cassie and Sara, out of bitterness and heartache, refused to speak or see him. This didn't sit well with him as she was his only friend, and his relationship with Cassie dies within a few months.
He goes looking for Sara, realizing she has moved out of her apartment. It doesn't take him long to find out where she is, and she's with The Riddler, a notorious criminal genius and one of Gotham's elite villains. Erron is worried for Sara and seeks her out.
Turns out, Sara's just fine. This isn't one of those scenarios where the girl is with a guy who just using her and taking advantage of her vulnerability. No, Edward does actually love her and takes good care of her. He finds people like reckless, selfish, and ignorant people like Erron to be a disgrace but also amusing because of how pathetically primitive they are.
Edward also doesn't appreciate how Erron pushed aside a good thing in Sara to pursue a girl who is a social media brat and has more selfies on her phone than brain cells in her, well, brain. It defies all logic to Edward, but he's also not surprised because of how much of a disappointment Erron is as a human being (hey, this is Riddler we're talking about, and he's not one to be sweet and gentle to those he can't stand). Edward doesn't say these things out loud, though, as it's a bit too vulnerable and personal for him to do such a thing with someone he doesn't know or trust.
Sara is upset that Erron has resurfaced and she remembers how heartbroken she was when he went after Cassie Cage. She wants Erron to leave her alone like she asked, so she can move on. She can't trust him anymore, because he's just a skirt chaser in her eyes.
Erron tries to plead his case, tries to apologize to Sara, and expresses how he really feels, but this just distresses her further. Edward steps in and tells Erron he's done enough to Sara, she clearly doesn't want to see him, and he needs to take his leave.
This isn't a request.
Edward pulls Erron aside, telling the cowboy that the only reason he's going to walk away from this alive is that Sara hasn't asked for him to be killed. Should she tell Edward to take care of Erron, well, you all know what Telltale Riddler is like.
And those are the three variations on "Volunteer."
If you could be so kind as to:
leave a comment with your choice or
send an ask (even an anon ask) with your choice or
suggest your take on this story.
I'd appreciate it immensely!
Thank you all so much for supporting me and my writing and being patient with my sluggish publishing schedule!
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keyofjetwolf · 3 years
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Bonus Question Answers! (anime heat 2)
I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. Now, I present my favourites! And really, they were ALL favourites. Mmm, headcanony goodness.
Oh, special shoutout to this unattributed one, which I suspect fell prey to someone submitting early, but as phrased, made me snort laugh: “one of my longest held headcanons is that ami“
SAME, FRIEND
Anyway, If your answer is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE
Q: Senshi headcanon time! Intrigue me, humour me, crush me, FEED ME.
* Michiru actually did have a guardian cat, once. It was silvery grey with dark blue eyes. It did not speak, but it was always there to provide support and comfort in a life which had little of either. The first time Michiru had a strong vision, which left her cold and senseless on the floor of her room, it was the small warmth from her cat that brought her back to the world of color and light and solidity. The cat was a friend and confidante in those early days, when Michiru was unsure if this experience was real or the beginnings of schizophrenia. The fact that her mother could see the cat, and regularly make comments about the uncleanliness of such creatures, was proof of Michiru's new reality. So when the cat entered the fray to distract a youma, saving Michiru, but being killed in the process, it became one more thing that the Moon had given her, only to steal away. Michiru promised herself to never rely on another again, or to allow the Moon to have her heart again. And she had done fairly well at this. Haruka, for all her charms, was a plaything, and not something to sacrifice herself for. But pausing outside the Marine Cathedral, Michiru found herself looking into dark blue eyes, so different, but so similar, and knew that she would do anything and everything in her power to keep from having to watch them close, again. -- @incorrecttact  [YOU ARE ALSO KILLING THESE QUESTIONS. This hit me right in the kokoro, and I welcomed its sweet sweet pain.]
~~
*  Mako teaches Hotaru, Chibiusa, and the Amazon Quartet to cook and bake as a bonding activity. Hotaru LOVES making cakes and decorating them. Chibiusa likes cooking with noodles and even making her own; it doesn’t sound special, but the food she makes is DELICIOUS. Ves, the red one, finds cooking easy, but doesn’t like it and so never does outside of being coaxed into it. Jun, the green one, finds baking easy, but also doesn’t like sweet things, which limits her repertoire. Cere, the pink one, has no natural talent, but she very much WANTS to be good at it, so she turns out to be the best cook of her Senshi group. Palla takes to neither, but she is very enthusiastic about eating their experiments.  --  Jules  [I am an absolute slut for Mako and moments with the kids, and including the Quartet was a brilliant stroke.]
~~
*  A Serenity is not supposed to be reborn. They are born, they live, they die, and they are done. They are not like the Senshi, whose souls reincarnate, carefully bound to Serenity blood. They are not supposed to be reborn, so when Queen Serenity sees everything fail and decides to send their souls to the future, the Senshi are easy. Serenity is not. In desperation, Serenity does something she would have never considered in any other circumstance: she ties Serenity's soul to the Senshi. What was once a one way tie, has now become an equal bond, and so everything changes.  -- @madegeeky  [Ooo, this is some lovely twists on my own reincarnation headcanons, while still keeping the “this is a mistake” flavour. IT TASTES GOOD.]
~~
*  How about more Rei whistle antics? You headcanon Usagi would use the whistle for every mundane thing and Rei would come. Usagi would do this at 2 AM in the morning too and Rei would still be woken up and still come even in pajamas if she need be because Usagi had a spooky nightmare or "Rei-chan I fell off my bed and now my face hurts". Knowing Rei whistle antics can be funny for us and maybe aggravating for Rei at times because "Usagi you blew the whistle because you fell off the bed?" what if we can make it a pinch sad? Like what if Rei can tell what sort of peril Usagi is in by the way she blows the whistle in tone? Like when it's a sad somewhat weaker whistle, even if it's just a tiny subtle tone, Rei can IMMEDIATELLY tell "USAGI IS SAD AND NEEDS ME" and she will RUSH over in 5 seconds like in her Rei way, she might even have the mind to bring snacks, cocoa and plush to hug for the comfort.  --  Mrs. Duckling  [HOW ABOUT INDEED. I hadn’t thought about the different ways the whistle can be blown and what it might say, what a wonderful addition. THANK YOU FOR CATERING DIRECTLY TO ME AND MY NEEDS]
~~
*  PGSM!Sailor Mars - [REDACTED] Oh. Right. You're not there yet. Awkward... Anime!Minako is a huge fan of romance manga, but for all the wrong reasons. She tried drawing doujinshi of crack ships before realizing that A) she's not really a writer and B) she's REALLY not an artist. She plans on using some of her rich idol singer money to commission really bizarre romance stories. The sort that make you go WTF?! Of course, step one is "become a rich and famous idol"... Meanwhile, Rei also buys the romance manga that Minako gets into, (partially so she'll shut up about it) but mainly just analyzes them for mood and the characters, and gets frustrated when they inevitably devolve into nothing but sappy kissing and mooning over each other. She's trying to see why Minako gets so obsessed, but doesn't want to flat out admit that she doesn't get it and have to ask. -- Peter "Pigeons!" Svensson  [I had nothing but fun with this, fantastic. ps: THANK YOU FOR THE PIGEONS NOMINATION]
~~
* If these four* Senshi were to meet you, I think they'd each also be meeting some of their best qualities: Usagi is love, and that love is infectious as HELL. Much like a certain blogger who has amassed an international following on the strength of her love for her favourite media, wouldn't you say? Ami is very impressed by your office set-up! But when she sees you re-enter the room with a sprightly little black cat riding on your shoulder, she knows she has discovered a kindred spirit. Where can Rei-chan possibly begin? From your passionately informed and encyclopedic knowledge of their interactions ("She has RECEIPTS, Usagi!"), to your, let's call it tenacity ("She stirred that sugar for TWO HOURS, Usagi!!"), Rei finds so much to admire. And while no one could ever possibly love Rei as much as she loves herself, she magnanimously allows that you are a close second. As for Haruka, well! World Shaking? More like Toilet Breaking! You wrecked that shit and unleashed the sea. She can certainly relate *eyebrows, eyebrows* *would that i had time to write out blurbs for the others! but we're heading back into lockdown today, and i need to get to the post office to mail you a package. PRIORITIES! xo  -- @rasiqra-revulva​  [Okay look when I said “crush me” I didn’t mean WITH NICENESS. Also thank you for the huge laughs. *eyebrows, eyebrows*]
~~
*  Minako manages to write a tell-all book (anonymously, of course, and with names changed to protect the relevant,) about their first few years as Senshi in the lull between Stars and Shit Escalating Again. Even more astoundingly, she manages to get it optioned as a film and play Sailor Mars without blowing her cover! Rei seethes. Minako’s annoyed because she tried out for Usagi. Usagi’s just happy Minako’s successful. The film manages to pick up nominations come award season, and Michiru even arranges for the rest of the Senshi to attend. Minako loses to some film from a really overrated director that manages to out-award bait her reenactment of D-Point. She’s silently fuming through his acceptance speech when he’s Burning Mandala’d mid-sentence. And that’s how the Senshi discovered that Jadeite survived getting run over with planes, joined the entertainment industry after Beryl’s defeat, and had been using it to drain energy ever since! Sailor Mars’s speech about how he disgraces the passion of filmmakers everywhere and her comrade’s hard work goes viral. -- Regalli  [LOVED THE TWIST ENDING, also Rei basically stealing the awards show stage, as we all know she would]
~~
*  Not Senshi, but cats! One day, when Usagi is queen, she's going to decide to knight the cats. Luna thinks it's silly and figures Usagi is just acting on a whim, but Artemis has his chest puffed out and is glowing with pride. They're given tiny medals made by Endymion. -- RibbonFinale  [Oh I DID want this. I wanted this very much, THANK YOU.]
~~
*  Makoto can't culture bonsai trees. It's not a matter of ability, or scale — she can work with tiny tools with equal facility as large ones — but she can't bring herself to push the things down, to cut and twist and bind them to grow the way _she_ wants, not the way it wants to grow.   The tiny pine she bought to try it out, years ago, is in a pot in the corner of her apartment; it's just now grown taller than she is. -- Taperwolf  [I didn’t expect this one to hit me as hard as it did when I started reading. Love it, love it, love it.]
~~
*  You know those 'meetings Usagi doesn't know about'? the ones where the girls dive into the nitty gritty about being senshi, the ones where they decide who will take up being the Disguise Pen Decoy if Minako is killed? Usagi knows about them. it was one of those 'character A eavesdrops and hears character B talking about them' setups, but instead of hearing Ami call Usagi a ditz, she hears Ami saying 'I'm the weakest fighter, if Minako is assassinated and we need someone to be decoy it'd be easier to explain away my absence than Rei's or Mako's' In these meetings they speak very coldly about themselves, Ami is always first to call herself the weak one, Minako calls into attention her showboating, Mako will openly remind people she doesn't think things through on the battlefield, and Rei derides herself on her inability to keep her cool (heh) and they all come up with contingencies to cover for eachother to the minutest detail. Usagi only ever evesdrops on one of these meetings, but now she knows they happen. and she can't un-know.  -- Vega  [OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.]
~~
Manga Sailor Pluto has picked her nose 2,013,417 times. -- too ashamed to say  [WHY THE SHAME THIS IS CORRECT  AND NOW RIGHTFULLY CANON]
---
I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (currently looking to be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.
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acespec-ed · 3 years
Note
hi!! I was wondering if u could help me? I’m alloaro and I just discovered the term aromid… and it makes me question myself. I’m very unsure if I’m on the asexual spectrum or if I just experience sex repulsion sometimes? I’ve looked at so many acespec labels and cannot find one that actually fits me. literally I’ve seen them all. I haven’t really felt comfortable calling myself ace and I do enjoy saying I’m alloaro but I wonder if I’m actually on the ace spectrum as well… how do I differentiate between sex repulsion and asexuality? For one, I’m hypersexual and feel the need/pressure to be sexual or I’m not good enough… and I do want sex I think? I fantasize about it and I enjoy smut and some art .. but when I visually see nakedness or irl sex… it makes me feel very uncomfortable and I don’t enjoy that. I enjoy the thoughts and fiction and when people are only partially clothed…. but I just have this feeling of repulsion and fear of actually doing it irl (what if I hate it and it makes me uncomfortable?) and when I think about it I do imagine myself and this other person but it’s also hard to actually see us and not just faceless non existing people… and idk how much of me wanting sex is just pressure from hypersexuality or me genuinely having sexual attraction … idk if I really have much of a libido or want for sex?? would I be able to call myself alloaro AND aromid.. as in I’m alloaro but possibly SOMEWHERE on the ace spectrum?.. or maybe I’m just sex repulsed and fully not ace at all? I feel like my situation here makes me unable to call myself alloaro but I AM alloaro and I love being alloaro… I don’t wanna stop saying I am but it also feels like there’s more to it?
same anon from before! I read a post of yours about the umm “allos see ‘cake’ and immediately know they want to eat it” and it confuses me … idk what I experience? I see fictional characters and I can go “they look sexy I am attracted to them maybe if want to have sex with them?” I see people and ??? idk sometimes I get unwanted thoughts of having sex with friends when I don’t actually want to or find attractive…I can see people and think they’re sexy/attractive .. but idk if I’d think “yeah I’d have sex with them” I mean it depends bc I think someone can imagine having sex with someone and enjoy it and want it but would they actually wanna seriously have sex with that stranger without having any connection with them…? Sex is scary so I’d need to know and trust them maybe… be scared to show my body..but I don’t think I’d be comfortable calling myself demi? Idk I don’t get this .. do I look at someone and immediately think whether I’d want to have sex with them or not? I really don’t know … also.. so…. Libido is just wanting sex in general and sexual attraction is wanting specific people?… how do I differentiate all of this it’s so confusing! I guess MAYBE I do look at peopl and go “wow they’re pretty/sexy id want sex” BUT I DONT KNOW LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT… am I not allo WHATS going on here .. can you explain what it would be like to be sex repulsed AND allo instead of ace? and the difference between that and being ace and sex repulsed? thank u
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I’m so sorry I’m saying so much I just have no one to talk to :C … but um… someone told me “if you’re sex repulsed .. you’re still allo unless you feel like u don’t relate to being allo anymore” and I’m honestly so confused because…. do my weird feelings towards sex influence my sexuality? do I still feel connected to being allo? personally I feel like these feelings are ones allo people don’t typically have ..plus I’ve always felt bad for not being sexual enough or feeling the same sexual feelings as people/ (also why do I have sex repulsion I don’t think I rlly had much sexual trauma going on.. some little incidents but still??) and if I told allo people these feelings… they would not relate and would think I’m weird for it ..but an ace person might relate and would understand … I feel like it does influence how I see my sexuality/attraction and complicates things…however.. I feel like I can’t call myself acespec bc often I want sex (even with a specific person.. although they look different when I imagine them and also don’t exactly have a Look/face/body in my head..same with me) often and I’m hypersexual so I like over sexualizing myself …plus I like saying I’m alloaro and don’t want to let go of it… nor do I want to ID with a specific ace spec label.. I’d like to just say I’m ace (just like how I call myself aromantic even when I’m specifically gray romantic) why can’t I just be ace and not ace at the same time or in between I don’t know 😭…. what do allos experience how is their life like with sexual attraction and how is someone’s life like without sexual attraction … I don’t get it at alllllll
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I saw you sent three asks and decided to combine them all in this post to make answering this easier. Just reading these asks are making my head spin, so I can only imagine how confused you must feel. And it's fine that you're sending so many asks- I know what it's like to have no one to talk to about things.
I'll start this off by saying you can call yourself whatever you feel most comfortable calling yourself. And if it's alloaro, then of course you can keep calling yourself alloaro. You do sound like you could fit somewhere on the ace spectrum, but I couldn't tell you where.
A lot of what I'm about to say you might already know, since it sounds like you've been doing your own bit of research, but here I go.
Whether or not you desire sex on its own doesn't determine if you're asexual. If you've never felt any urges to have sex with anyone specific, then you haven't experienced sexual attraction. So it's helpful to remove your interest in sex itself, along with libido, when questioning. Focus it all on if you've wanted sex with anyone in particular. If the answer is no, or very rarely, it's likely you could be on the asexual spectrum. You mentioned you've experienced it towards someone specific, so it sounds to me like you'd be in the gray area, if on it at all.
I will say, it is totally normal to be nervous, and even scared, of having sex at first. A lot of allos are able to get over this fear- possibly because of sexual attraction. I first felt sexual attraction towards my boyfriend, and though I was repulsed, I wanted to do sexual things with him so bad I was able to get over the fear and disgust through slow exposure. So I think sexual attraction on its own is a huge motivator to "get over" sex repulsion and go for it.
Of course, you should never do anything you are not comfortable doing. And never force yourself into doing any sexual activities. A lot of aces have ended up with trauma over that sort of thing. The reason I went for it was because I naturally became comfortable with things escalating as time went on. Kinda like exposure therapy, I guess.
I'm not sure if you already saw it, but I did write this post on an experience I had where I was sex-repulsed by someone I was sexually attracted to. So it is possible to be sex-repulsed and sexually attracted to a person, but I understand how hard it can be to tell for sure.
I can't tell you what it's like to be allo. But other than the few times I've experienced sexual attraction, I lived my life with a libido directed towards no one, fluctuating between being sex-indifferent and repulsed, and occasionally getting a crush I had no sexual attraction towards. 
As for what it’s like being sex-repulsed and ace: I can’t imagine having sex with anyone. I just can’t. Every time I get a crush, I try to imagine sex with them, and my brain just shuts that off. It wants nothing to do with those thoughts. Sex-repulsed with sexual attraction: It’s only happened twice and the first time (with my bf) I had no idea wtf was going on and it was 10 years ago so I can’t remember enough to tell you aside from what I’ve already said. The other time though, I wasn’t 100% sure if it was sexual attraction at first- but my body became aroused at the sight of him, and the arousal went away when he left. But when I thought of sex with him, I was grossed out. But I kept forcing myself to think of sex with him, and grew more comfortable with the idea. And the more I thought about it, the more I figured, “hey, maybe I am sexually attracted to him.” 
Every person is different though.
I can totally understand your confusion because some of your experiences sound like you’re allo and some sound like you could be acespec. I honestly don’t know what else to say or what answers to give. I will say this though: I strongly doubt any allo has had to question their allosexuality as much as you are.
But circling back to what I first said: you can label yourself as whatever you feel most comfortable with. It’s okay if you don’t fit the exact definitions of an identity 100%. Every person is different, even those sharing the same label. And if you decide your experiences are just too complicated for a label, you don’t need one either. 
Sorry if this was all over the place, but I hope it was somewhat helpful!
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utterlyinevitable · 3 years
Note
hey i know you fell asleep but thank you for the bed time story 🥺🥺🥺
always here to send you fever dream fics on wa 💕 i know it’s not the m fluff you wanted but i did say TBC 👀
transcript under the cut ❤
Post-Bakery Bedtime Story
Mason gets back to the warehouse still dazed and confused as to why the bit at the bakery affected him so much. He doesn’t know why but his feet take him to the library instead of to his room. Nate is sat on his favorite chair by the large window with a tome, Felix is lying on the floor tossing a ball up and down.
“Ah you’re back. The detective make it to work okay?” Felix said with a wink that fell flat when he looked at his friends sullen face. 
Mason shrugged “assume so” 
Nate perked up at the uncertainty in his voice. “Assume so? What do you mean? Did something happen?” 
“I don’t fucking know” m said with such terrifying venom. 
Felix pulled a face and stealthily bolted out of the room. He was not going to stick around for hurricane Mason. Nah ah ah
Nate closed his book and studied the now pacing vampire. Masons hands shoved deep in his pockets and not a cigarette in sight. Not even the faint smell of tobacco that’s synonymous with him tainted his scent and the air. Nate knows it’s because of the detective he stopped smoking. Whether Mason realizes it or not.
“What did you say?” Nate asked knowingly. He wasn’t fully sure Mason said something to upset the detective but 100 years together and his ironclad intuition give him the lead.
“The truth”
“Which is?” 
“It’s not my fault that vile cupcake was sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong” 
“Mason.” Nate all but scolded, speaking volumes with his tone and causing Mason to stop pacing for a moment.
“I think I fucked up” he muttered. All his thoughts culminating to this conclusion.
Nate said nothing. Just waiting for Mason to elaborated on his revelation.
“Lia stomped away. I think she was upset...” But nothing came. Nate watched as Mason’s brows knitted further together and his frown cemented among his freckled features. Whatever happened took it’s toll. 
So Nate asked, “Did you apologize?” 
“Why would I? I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true” 
“If shes upset, you apologize. That’s the right thing to do” 
“Well I damn well didn’t get the chance! She ran right to the station”
“What did you say” Nate basically growled. 
“That all we’re doing is sleeping together. The only ‘seeing’” - he did air quotes with his fingers - “happening is of one another naked”
“Mason...”
He gave Nate a scowl at the sad and patronizing use of his given name.
Time passed silently as the two collected their thoughts. Mason still unsure why he cares so much and Nate afraid for both of them.
Nate breaks the tension. “Is that all that’s going on?”  
“Why would-“ Mason begins to retort, a natural reaction to challenge him. He takes a breath and a pause and then sighs “I hope so.”
Nate nods slowly as he mulls the confession over. He knows exactly why the closed off vampire feels this way and battles whether to break the news to Mason or not. 
Instead he chooses a gentler approach; 
“You care about her. As do we all.”
And then Nate leaves Mason to his own devices
***
That evening Nate volunteered to check up on the detective instead of just simply patrolling, unseen. 
“Oh. Hey” she gave a half hearted smile when he enters her office 
“I’m here to escort you home, if you’ll have me” 
“Thanks. Just need a few more minutes to finish this” 
“Of course.” Nate takes his seat at the table in the corner like usual and gazes around the room trying to assess Mason’s emotional damage. The beat of her heart isn’t consistent with anger. But her demeanor implies somethings amiss
On the walk home he asks “How was your day?”
“Fine” 
“Anything eventful happen?” 
“No. Thankfully.” She takes a pause and kicks a rock. “Actually...” 
Nate perks up, thinking how lucky it is that she’s the one to bring it up and be able to talk about masons mishap. Nate did spend most of the afternoon batting around the implications of the situation on the team, and then the implications of his intervention. 
But then she says, “Verda knows.” 
Nates brows furrowed. Lia notices.  
“About you guys,” she clarifies. Before Nate can respond she quickly adds “his partner eric came by. He’s a supernatural too apparently.” She huffs in disbelief. “and he wants me to convince verda everything’s okay so he can tell him”
NaTe doesn’t really know what to say. The agency needs to know of course. But he also knew Eric is supernatural after their encounter at the carnival - he got the sense. 
Nate wasn’t prepared to have this kind of conversation this evening. 
“How do you feel about that?” he simply asked. 
“I’m glad he knows. That I’ll have somebody to talk to about all this weirdness. But what if he doesn’t come around? What happens if Eric can’t ever tell him, you know? What kind of relationship is that to keep such a big part of your life from the one you love?”
They talk more about this and soon enough they’re at her apartment
And Nate decides to do something out of character. He decides to confront her with his preferred knowledge; “Were you crying earlier?”
She’s taken aback. It’d been hours and she put on a ton of concealer. Damn vampire senses. 
“It doesn’t matter.” There was a fragile finality to her words.  
“Your feelings matter. WhAtever it is”
“It’s stupid.” She shook her head to reaffirm. “My heart got away from me for a moment. It won’t happen again” 
Nate WISHES he could play Cupid. All they needed was a push in the right direction. But they needed to figure this out on their own.
“For what it’s worth, in all my years, listening to your heart is the greatest strength” 
Nate didn’t miss the near inaudible scoff that escaped her
 * * *
So she doesn’t see ub for 4ish days. They’re around. They patrol frequently but no ones come around to say hi and she’s thankful. More time to focus of wtf her heart is trying to tell her and how to deal with verda
She ends up going to the warehouse to pick up Nate. They’ve been texting about the verda situation. Dressed up and ready for the dinner she saunters through the halls and finds him waiting for her in the living room. 
“Damn Lia! You look stunning!” Felix chimes as he takes a look at her in her black dress and matching suede thigh high boots and make up. Very different from the smart dressed detective he sees daily. 
“Thanks” she blushes. She turns to Nate “you ready?” 
“Let me grab my coat” he exits to his room
“Is this a date?” Felix asks innocently enough 
“More like an intervention. Nates good with people and will be able to help verda understand” 
“Makes sense” he agrees. Then nudges her with his elbow “Mason would be the worst option huh” 
“Probably” 
Luckily Nate is back before Felix could read more into the situation and her noncommittal tone. 
“Ready!” He calls and smiles after making sure everything is in order. 
Just as lia is about to meet him in the hallway she nearly collides with Mason entering the room. 
“Hey,” she mumbles politely as she sidesteps him
Mason doesn’t say anything too shocked by her close presence. 
She thinks she hears him grunt and tries to hide her eye roll
As Nate and Lia make their way out of the warehouse mason watches her every movement. Every step. Every sway of her hips and brush of her air in the wind she creates. 
“Feel like groveling yet?” Felix whispers besides him pulling Mason out of the trance. 
“Fuck off”
Masons chest tightens. And he realizes he misses her. Not just her body and her touch but her presence. Her companionship.
Shit
He needs to apologize.
Later that evening, more like in the dead of night, Masons on the roof after patrolling a little earlier than normal but he needed the reprieve at the time. Needed the solitude and distraction patrolling provided. 
Now he’s tuned into nature and so at ease
Until he hears an irregular sound coming from floors below
Not irregular, not really. Not foreign, no. But a familiar thumping
No it couldn’t be.
He’s imagining things
He lights up another cigarette to make it go away
But it persists. It’s still there when he’s done
So he goes downstairs to get a beer to numb the pain. But he takes the route past the room that’s been empty nearly every single night since they moved in.
and it’s there
The steady, calm drum of her heartbeat
And he doesn’t need that beer anymore
He goes into his room two doors down and rests his eyes and body to the sound of her
* * *
The next morning she’s in the smaller, functional kitchen at the table eating an omelet she made along with some coffee. She has a full day of combat training and needs the calories.
Mason waited until he was sure she was relaxed and not distracted to enter. Tbh he’s never been in this room before. No need when human food smells worse than garbage.
He plops himself on the edge of the table opposite her. She doesn’t look up from what she’s reading on her phone. He doesn’t say anything either.
Eventually she takes in a very long very deep breath shuts her eyes puts her phone and fork down exhales and looks at him. Masking her features as best she can in close Proximity
Her left eyebrow raises, silently questioning
He doesn’t know what to say
He didn’t think this far ahead
She has his mind in complete disarray. Everything on his mind in his thoughts is her her her
But she won’t crack first. He can see that. He can feel how cold she is
“Look -“ is all he manages to choke out before she interrupts
“Save it.”
His mouth slams shut at the indifferent hostility
She continues, “what you said was out of line and frankly embarrassing.” 
He gives a tilt of his head in agreement. 
“I don’t need the entire town knowing my business.”
Instinct told him to make a sex joke, but he knew better than to break out the comfortable banter right now. Had enough awareness to see they weren’t back on good terms -- were they ever? 
Lia continued, “I also shouldnt have stormed out. So sorry for overreacting.”
Eventually she allowed for Mason to speak more than one word, “sorry For saying it”
She gave a tight smile. Forced and lacking all the things he’s come to look forward in that toothy grin of hers. 
She pushed her chair out and stood. Mason followed, standing three steps from her. He waited for the hug that she was bound to give him. She must be just as touch starved as he is he hopes.
But instead she picks up her dishes and puts them in the washer and walks out.
-TBC-
_____________
A/N: if you’re not ayla and you’re reading this, thank you for making it this far. and sorry it’s shit. this is just a thing i wrote over whatsapp at midnight because my friend asked for a fluffy m fic 😅
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nebulawritings · 4 years
Text
Birthday Massage
This is pure, unabashed, indulgent smut, people. Re-write of The Nanny Affair Chapter Four. There is dialect and writing taken directly from the Choices app, which they own the content and characters of. MC is Anna. Enjoy! Written in the Second Person (like the app). First time I’ve written in that style.
Choices Stories You Play: The Nanny Affair
Pairing: F!MC (Anna) x M!Sam
Reading Time: ~ 5 minutes
Warning: Mature content. Buckets of it. If you’re not old enough, behave and don’t read.
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“Goodnight, everyone”. Fuming, not looking back, you return to your room and sit heavily on your bed, still unsure of what happened. You’re holding the massage bar you bought for Sam, having not put it down after trying to tidy a little, just before Sofia arrived. Huffing, you pull out your phone to text the one friend you know who’ll understand.
OMG Sofia is here –  Anna 
WAT!!! – Jenny
She dropped in unannounced during Sam’s bday dinner. She’s freaking terrible! You should’ve seen the way she was treating everyone. She LITERALLY called me the help – Anna
Gross. Wat did Sam say – Jenny
Nothing. – Anna
EXCUUUUUUUUSE ME?! – Jenny
He tried. But Sofia kept talking over him. Honestly, I think Sam was too shocked to do more – Anna
I hope so. Cuz otherwise. WTF – Jenny
I don’t know, Jen, there’s no way I can compete with that. She bought the boys Armani watches. ARMANI, JENNY, ARMANI– Anna
Listen, babe, u gotta sho him wat he’s missing out on. Remember the bar boy in Miami? – Jenny
OMG when are you going to stop using Miami guy against me?! – Anna
All I’m sayin is dat you worked harder for that, and he wasn’t a hot stuff multi-gajillionaire! Did Miami guy leave the gala with Lucy Street? Nuh uh, gurl, he left wit you – Jenny
You‘re halfway through responding when a knock on your door pries you away from the phone screen. If it’s Sofia with dry cleaning or something I swear I’m not accountable for my actions you think to yourself, before opening the door to find that Sam is standing in your doorway, shirt unbuttoned and chest bare, looking tired and dishevelled and yet, somehow, still incredibly sexy.
“Anna…”
“Sam, hey…Is everything okay?”. You’re surprised to see him at your door, and you try to push the thoughts of why he’s turned up, looking like that, to see you from your mind.
“Can we talk? Sofia is gone, and the boys are down for the night”.
At the mention of her name you feel anger bubbling up, and your expression hardens. “I was about to go to bed, actually”.
“It won’t take long. I need to apologize for what happened”.
Sam touches his neck tenderly and releases a heavy sigh. Your hands itch to help him relieve some of that tension, to stroke him, to touch him…His gaze meets yours, pleading with you.
“Please. I don’t like how we left things back there”.
Your resolve wavers, and your mind flicks back to the conversation you had with Jenny. To the small, delicate package folded neatly in your bathroom, an impulse buy when you’d been out with the boys earlier that you’d hoped would be an extra surprise for Sam, should the night have gone that way. It hadn’t, not with the entrance of Sofia, but she was gone now. After a lingering look, you step back and give Sam space to enter the room. You close the door behind him and turn, gasping softly when you find him surprisingly close.
“I’m so sorry, Anna. I never should’ve let Sofia talk to you that way. I should’ve been more insistent that she stop immediately, instead of trying to wait for an opening ”.
Sam reaches out and places his hands over your shoulders. You tense, wanting him to touch you and leave you alone all at once. “Sam…Why didn’t you stop her right away?”. You feel a little betrayed, although the goosepimples rising where his warm hands rest on your skin do nothing to hide your other feelings about him.
“I didn’t want to cause a scene in front of the boys…But that’s no excuse. Especially since Sofia ended up doing that anyway” he replied, remorseful.
“She made me feel like I wasn’t even there, Sam”.
“I told her that was completely unacceptable as soon as I finished putting the boys to bed”.
Despite everything, a smile tugs at the corners of your mouth. Of course she didn’t put them to bed, wouldn’t want to break a nail. You try not to be too smug, although the thought of her wrestling them into bed makes it hard not to smile more. “Oh?” you say, trying to sound nonchalant, “Aunt Sofia didn’t want to do it?”.
Sam hesitates. “She…struggles with them. I decided to save us all an hour or two and take over”.
You meet Sam’s gaze, and feel yourself start to thaw a bit. His hands slip away from your shoulders, causing you to shiver as they go.  
“Sam…I forgive you”. You smile softly. “You make it hard to stay mad at you”.
“Good”.
Your expressions sours. “It’s not the same as an apology from her, though. Also, why isn’t Sofia here, talking to me herself? Is she too good to apologize to ‘the help’”. You make speech marks in the air, and Sam winces a little, clearly uncomfortable at you referring to yourself like that.
“I told her to go home. I just…”. He sighs. “I just wanted to enjoy what was left of my birthday. Everything had been so perfect…until she got here”.
You notice how he looks tense, as he rubs his shoulders with a pained expression. “I just got these knots out, and they’re already back”.
Your mind flicks to the massage bar, to the package wrapped up in your bathroom, and you make an instant decision. In the short time you’ve known him, you’ve seen Sam as a thoughtful, kind person who wants to make the world a better place; and someone like Sofia was not going to be anywhere near good enough for him. Or the boys. Aside from that, he was gorgeous; and Jenny was right. You knew how to play the game, and play it you would. “Maybe I can do something about that for you”. You move behind Sam and slip your palms over his shoulders, digging your thumbs into the tense muscles. He groans loudly, and you relish in the sound.
“Ohmygod…That feels…But you’ve already done more than enough, Anna”.
You smile, kneading harder. “Not as far as these knots are concerned”. Sam moans again and you shiver at the noise, resolve hardening with every passing moment. Your lips find his ear, speaking just above a whisper. “Tell me where it hurts”.
“A little higher. Almost – Ohhhh…”.
You dig your thumbs harder into his back, and you feel him melt into your touch. “You should get on the bed” you whisper into his ear boldly. You see Sam swallow, and he looks at you for a long moment before obeying. Your mind wanders, and you can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking. You watch Sam stretch out on the bed, facing away from you, and you smile. “I’ll be five minutes” you promise, “could you take your pants off?”. You slip into your ensuite before he could ask questions.
A little more than five minutes later and you emerge, Sam still facing away from you.
“You know” he muses, hearing the ensuite door open, “I think you’re one of the only people who’ve kept me waiting and I’m not…”. His voice trails off as he turns to look at you, and he swallows hard. “Anna…”.
You blush at the way he stares at you, but you stand firm. Slowly you move over to the bed, the white silk dressing gown you’re wearing not doing anything to hide the lacy, red bra and matching thong you’d changed into, nothing else covering you. You’d chosen the deep red to compliment your skin, and you looked killer, if you did say so yourself. Then again, by the look on Sam’s face, you didn’t need to tell yourself that he liked what he saw. “Would you like a massage, Mr Dalton?” you purred, licking your lower lip as you approached the edge of the bed, slipping the silken gown off painfully slowly.
“I…You-“
“Shhh” you whisper, smiling softly. You reach over to the massage bar and straddle his back, a warm wave of pleasure rippling through you as your bare skin touches his, pleasantly surprised that he’d obeyed, and was now only wearing his boxers (the shirt also discarded on the floor). You rub the bar over your hands, making them slick with the sweet-smelling oil, before you splay them on his shoulders. Sam groans immediately, and you bite your lip, mapping every contour of his toned back and shoulders; admiring the tanned skin on show.
“You feel…That feels…” he mutters, shifting and squirming under your touch as you move your hands lower, daring to slip beneath the material of his boxers, toying with his hips and butt. Sam inhales sharply, and you note his toes and fingers curling. “Ohhh…Christ, Anna…What are you doing to me”.
You shiver, the way his voice aches your name making a pool of excitement rise up within you. “Good things, I hope” you replied, bending down. Your breasts press against his back as you whisper in his ear. “Sam, I…” you couldn’t say anything else, as his lips caught your own in a passionate kiss. All thoughts of what you were going to say drifted away and you allow yourself to be pulled down, the room spinning as he flips you over; now looking down at you with hungry eyes. The way you watch them rake over your body makes you giddy, and you shift beneath him. “No fair” you mutter, placing your hands flat against his chest. “I wasn’t done”. You push back and Sam lets you, laughing a little as you settle on-top of him again, facing him this time.
“You look incredible” he muttered, daring to slide his hands over your body. “Is this part of my birthday gift?”. His voice is husky with want, his hands toying with your bra.
“It is” you reply, sliding down his front. “Now, let me show you how else I can work my hands”.
Sam inhales sharply and swears under his breath as you rub the front of his boxers, delighted at his obvious excitement. Slowly you pull them down, your face now next to his hips, and you gasp softly, feeling that desire building up in your core again as you looked upon him. “Why, Mr Dalton” you muttered, gently taking him in your hand, “you kept this quiet, didn’t you?”. You watch gleefully as he opened his mouth to respond, only for his reply to melt into a guttural groan, your hand now pumping his cock, thumb swiping over the head where a bead of pre-cum had appeared.
“Don’t stop” he pleads, “that feels so good…Don’t stop…”.
His voice and his words spur you on, your own anticipation building and building. You bend your head and lick the tip of his cock, a sudden gasp from Sam all the permission you need to take him into your mouth. You bob up and down, moaning around his girth, your mouth full and dripping with saliva and precum, dribbling down your chin. Unable to take it anymore, you slip a free hand underneath the lacy material of your thong, and you run gentle circles over your clit; moaning harder.
“Anna, I-I can’t-!” Sam groans, his hips bucking into your mouth. You moan louder, preparing for his release, when you suddenly find yourself being flipped over. You gasp as his fingers find your soaking core, and he starts to rub, desperately, making you squirm and cry out. “Sam!” you beg, melting under his ministrations. Your cries were smothered by a desperate, passionate kiss and you eagerly returned it, your tongue swiping over his as he positioned himself over you, all the while moving his fingers in just the right way to make you putty in his hands.
His eyes, dark and foggy with lust, found yours and you nod in answer to the silent question. You wrap your arms around his back, clinging onto him desperately as he slips inside you, groaning loudly as he pushes in, slowly, savouring it.
“Ohhhh God….Sam, please” you beg now, bucking your hips in time with his as he thrusts in and out of you, again and again, hitting that sweet spot oh so deep inside. You’ve never felt anything like it, stars already blinding your vision but still riding the high; building over and over. “Please…!”.
“I’m not…I don’t” he says, voice strained, shaking his head.
“It’s okay!” you promise desperately, tugging him close and being forever grateful that Jenny had talked you into getting an IUD. “You can trust me, I swear just – Don’t stop. It’s okay, please. I need you to..! Please, Sam!”.
His resolve wavers and his lips meet yours again in a crashing embrace. “Anna-!” he cries out, finally, pressing himself into you fully as he comes undone, thrusting and groaning as he finishes deep inside of you.
Your own orgasm follows soon after, and you shiver uncontrollably, writhing beneath him as your nails dig into his back, shaking as you desperately cling to eachother, each one of you moving and grinding in sheer bliss
You slowly come down from your high, although you stayed connected for a while, laying together and enjoying the comforting silence and comedown.
“I’m glad these walls are insulated for noise control” Sam mutters, absently mindedly playing with a strand of your hair. “I wouldn’t want you to stay quiet if that’s what’s in store…Your voice is so damn sexy”.
You laugh and slap his chest, before running your hands over the skin. “I take it this means your not mad or…Gunna chuck me out?”.
Sam sits back, stared deeply into your eyes. “I would never” he whispers gently, stroking your cheek. “But what this means I…I don’t know”.
You nod, understanding, and rest your head against him. “Can we just enjoy this?” you ask softly, as you feel his grip tighten around you.
“I would like nothing more” he replied.
You feel a gentle kiss on your head and you sigh, content, slowly drifting off to sleep in his arms.
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firekyoshi · 3 years
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i can't believe yall havent thought of a sambucky the handmaiden au LIKE GUYS LOOK AT THE POTENTIAL
okay if u haven't seen the handmaiden (2016) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS ONE OF MY FAV MOVIES AND AS A BISEXUAL WOMAN ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES FEATURING SAPPHIC CHARACTERS
anyways here's a very self-indulgent sambucky the handmaiden! au that i wrote at midnight literally 7 hours before my exam
tw // mentions of suicide
- sam is sook-hee and bucky is hideko obvs
- sam is a criminal working for the power broker aka sharon while bucky or in this case, the winter soldier, was a test experiment for HYDRA / is now an assassin + bodyguard for their leader, alexander pierce
- sharon is conducting business w hydra to obtain some weapons and idk black market stuff which forces her to go to siberia, but obviously the ultimate weapon she wants to take home is the infamous winter soldier
- she asks sam to pretend to be her butler/bodyguard but is actually hiring him to get information on the winter soldier program and obtain the code words needed to control them
- they end up staying in pierce's mansion in like a really remote place in siberia
- sam gets acquainted w the other butlers and housekeepers, they tell him that the area is haunted because they would always hear a man screaming just before daybreak followed by complete silence. they also tell him that the forest is haunted by the spirit of a man who killed himself there
- just like the housekeepers said, sam wakes around 3-4 in the morning to the sound of a man screaming followed by complete silence
- anyways the next morning he accompanies sharon to her first meeting w hydra officials, and that's where he encounters bucky
- after the meeting, sharon is all like, "change of plans. we're going to steal the winter soldier." sam's like "and who's that?", "the person u were standing next to earlier,"
- afterwards, sam starts to spy on bucky. he doesn't talk much, sam notices, actually scratch that this man does not talk period
- they were standing by the door a few feet away from where their bosses were talking. "so uh, what do i call you?" sam asks one day, but bucky is like a statue, his response being a mere blink
- sharon and pierce always have their business meetings in the morning, but they also have spend time at night, usually supper or dinner, that's more casual. sam notices that pierce's bodyguard is less stiff and more human during the later hours of the day
- sam and bucky are again standing by the door. "what do i call you?" bucky asks quietly, almost like a whisper. "uh sam, you can call me sam. and you?"
- he freezes for a while before replying, "james barnes"
- another thing that sam notices is that bucky is NEVER alone. either he's with pierce or he's escorted by other bodyguards (who look like they couldn't even take him down altogether)
- one morning, after the usual distant screams, sam decides to figure out where the screams were actually coming from. he goes to the main house, pretending to bring tea for sharon (there's a small camera hidden in the tray)
- he sees the usual group of bodyguards escorting a half-naked and disheveled bucky from the stairs to the basement. when they see him, the group looks like a pack of deers in headlights, one of them reaches for their gun, "i'm bringing tea for ms. carter," he quickly says.
- "go ahead," the leader, rumlow, says, "but next time use the main hallway will you?"
- "right, she just said it was faster this way, and she's really peculiar about the temperature of her tea."
- he shows the video to sharon and she's like "i need u to find out wtf is going on in that basement."
- one night, sharon and pierce are having dinner tgt "since we're on the topic of legends and fairytales, i have to ask about something," sharon says,
- "go, on," pierce replies
- "the winter soldier program, does it really exist?"
- the hydra leader chuckles, "i was wondering when you would ask that," then points toward bucky, "my dear, you're looking at the winter soldier."
- sam listens in on the conversation. the winter soldier program was a program created by hydra in the 1940s with the first successful test subject being an american ww2 soldier named steve rogers. apparently he was given this serum that made him super strong and for 10 years, while the other test subjects were cryogenically frozen, hydra worked to find ways to control him but failed and they had to keep him restrained most of the time.
- one night, rogers broke out of the facility, stole all the remaining formulas, and threw them away before blowing his brains out in the nearby forest
- after rogers' suicide, hydra brought out its second test subject, bucky barnes, and used the remaining serum on him. afterwards hydra froze him again while they worked on something to keep his mind under control.
- around the 1960s they created the trigger words and since then they've been using bucky to do their dirty work for them. "this, my dear, is our greatest creation." pierce says as he approaches a stand displaying a red book. "his trigger words. say them and he will do anything you want. if you need some errands taken care of, i'd be happy to lend him to you. we can talk about the costs later."
- "i don't have anything i can't take care of myself at the moment, but i'll keep that offer in mind." sharon replies
- now sharon's like "okay we HAVE to steal him and the codes." she figured out that all of the mansion's surveillance turns off for an hour to reboot from 1 AM to 2, and tells sam to basically go to the basement and manipulate bucky when he's not under hydra's control. "make him trust you, that way we won't have much of a fuss taking him to madripoor."
- that night, after the clock strikes 1, sam sneaks into the basement and finds a cell with bucky inside. there's a bed, well, more like a mattress, but bucky's not sleeping on it. instead he's sitting in a corner, head against the wall, knees tucked in his chest, hyperventilating and,,,crying???
- "hey," sam whispers, "you okay?"
- the winter soldier stares at him with red rimmed eyes and a tear stricken face. "you're sam, you're her bodyguard."
- "yeah and you're the winter soldier, or do you prefer james?"
- "bucky. it's bucky"
- yeah basically sam visits bucky's cell every night for exactly 45 minutes before he has to sneak back out. he tries to gain bucky's trust and manipulate him but guess what they fall in love surprise surprise
- bucky tells sam his true story. how he and steve used to be ww2 soldiers that were experimented on by hydra. he remembers being frozen and the first thing he sees when they woke him up was steve's dead body. "they told me he shot his head in the forest." the first thing he felt was pain as they injected the serum into his veins then tried to erase his memories. he remembers going into cryo and being woken up over and over again to kill someone or destroy something.
- he also tells sam about the one night he broke out, ran as fast as he could, and jumped off a cliff, only for him to survive. he lost an arm, but hydra replaced it with another weapon. "i thought i would end there, but i just became more of a weapon"
- so sam starts to feel unsure about stealing the winter soldier bc goddamnit bucky's a person and he doesnt deserve any of this.
- also the more time he spends with bucky the more he realises that the actual james bucky barnes is a fucking piece of shit that still uses 40s slang and petnames and makes outdated jokes and is actually a big fucking flirt.
- and sam's heart breaks every time he looks at bucky's crestfallen face when he realises that their 45 minutes are over
- of all the people he could fall in love with, it just had to be a brainwashed assassin
- sharon tells him that in a few days, she and pierce will leave for a week to actually get the business transaction done. basically she tells sam that he should break bucky out of the mansion while they're away, take the trigger word book, and meet with torres so he can take them both to madripoor.
- while sharon and pierce leave, sam continues visiting bucky during the night. also he doesn't see bucky during the day bc they have no reason to bring him out of the cell, and he kinda misses him aw
- one night, he wakes up to noise, lots of it. everyone in the house is running. in the midst of all the chaos, sam hears, "find the soldier!"
- the first place sam goes to is the forest, and there he finds bucky kneeling by a frozen lake, with a gun in his hands. sam tackles him and throws the gun away
- "what the fuck were you thinking huh?!" sam shouts, tightly holding the front of bucky's shirt, and he can't help but cry at the thought of bucky's dead body. and all of a sudden he feels like shit. for manipulating bucky and taking advantage of his trauma for his own gain. so he gathers bucky in his arms and tells him everything. about what he and sharon were actually planning, what his true motivations were when he first went inside the basement, and how he actually grew to care for bucky
- bucky just laughs and says, "i know,” he reveals that sharon's plan all along was to take bucky and the trigger words for herself, and frame sam as the mastermind behind everything. she'll then fake bucky’s death and offer sam as another test subject for the winter soldier program as compensation for stealing (and “killing”) bucky
- "how do you know all this?"
- "she visited me the first night you arrived and we talked. she told me she'll take me away and all i had to do was manipulate you into breaking me out." bucky confesses, "i didn't realise you were a sweetheart, that made everything so complicated."
- anyways sam knocks bucky unconscious and basically helps hydra guards put him back in his cell. "just saying, maybe we shouldn't tell pierce abt this yknow" and the hydra guards r like yeah no totally cause if he knew we're all fucked
- anyways bucky and sam come up with a plan to escape together. sam contacts a friend known as baron helmut zemo, who's basically sharon's biggest enemy, but more importantly, owes sam a big ass debt and asks him to give the two of them safe passage to sokovia
- they plan to escape two nights before sharon and pierce return to siberia. on that night, sam wakes up at exactly 1 AM like he always does, and kills everyone in the house. he puts a bullet in every hydra guard, every housekeeper, everyone. he disables all the techs in the house, steals the trigger word book and breaks bucky out of his cell.
- "wait. there's something i have to show you." bucky says. he takes sam to the facility. the place where they tortured him and experimented on him. the place where every other test subjects were kept frozen.
- (if you've watched the handmaiden, yes this is a reference to the library scene) sam can't contain the anger he feels when he looks at the room. "is this where they tortured you? is this where the screams come from every night?"
- bucky nods. he points at a chair in the centre of the room, surrounded by machines and computers. "every morning they would drag me out of my cell, put me on that chair, and-" he swallows a choked sob, "and read the trigger words,"
- sam can't control it anymore. he grabs a metal rod and starts destroying the place. he breaks every machine, tearing them apart until they are nothing more than wires and buttons. he kills all the frozen test subjects, because they deserve better than this. he rips apart the pages of the winter soldier's mission reports, and gathers them into a pile.
- from afar, bucky watches as sam lights up the pile and everything in front of him starts to burn. when sam turns to look at him, he can't help but think about how magnificent he looks as the fire roars behind him. his hero. his guardian angel. his sam.
- sam approaches bucky and pulls him in for a hungry kiss. something he feels he should've done earlier. "no one will ever control you again." he says, and for once its a promise that bucky believes in.
- sam reaches in his bag and pulls out the red book. bucky starts to cry bc no one, not even before hydra, had ever loved him like this. "i mean it. no one." sam says. bucky throws the book in the fire and watches and both paper and leather melt into ash
- the end they escape using zemo's private jet and live happily ever after haha
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damonsbitchx · 4 years
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Imprinting Pt. 1
I have no idea what to title this but my prompt for this fic is Jacob and Leah ending up together because wtf resume’s a baby???? Prompt is courtesy of @loveless-and-nameless. I hope you like it! I’m going to make a second part.
Summary: This is set after Breaking Dawn p.2 where Jacob lets Leah stay in his pack so she doesn’t have to go to Sam. In this, Leah and Jacob are only two or three years apart in age and they both imprint on each other in this. (That’s my personal touch.)
Characters: Jacob x Leah, and some waitresses 
Warnings: I think there’s one swear word, it’s fluffy and sweet
All mistakes are mine, no one proofread except me many times.
Word count: 3,069
If you want to be added to a tag list send me an ask with your @ 
Likewise, if you have any requests please send them in an ask. I might reject but ask anyway!
       After my dad died it’s no secret that I phased along with my little brother Seth. The pack was not welcoming about it, to say the least, but I didn’t really care. It was bad enough my dad had just died and I was the only girl in the history of EVER to phase, but to make matters worse, I was stuck under the rule of my ex-boyfriend who broke my heart after imprinting on my cousin. I was still bitter, to say the least, so if I had to suffer so did they.
       Jacob made his best effort to be a bit kinder to me than the rest of the pack, especially after he lost Bella to that dirty bloodsucker. He and I disappeared after making sure that they all survived the attack of the goth government. He told me he was going to the mountains of Alaska and I had planned on running as far East as I possibly could. We were definitely more than 300 miles apart but we could still hear each other clear as day when we were phased. As far as I could tell, he never phased back to his human form. Once I made it as far as Wisconsin I tried to stay human as much as possible so he and I could both be alone like the other didn’t exist. It was a very intimate thing to be tied to someone like that, even with all the miles between us physically and mentally. After being able to hear his thoughts all day every day for as long as it took me to get to Wisconsin I sort of started to miss the company when I was human, but I didn’t want to make him regret letting me stay under him instead of Sam so I didn’t out myself. I wandered around cities in Wisconsin looking for purpose, only phasing during the night so I could sleep in the woods somewhere. I’d make sure to only phase when I could barely keep my eyes open anymore and I’d always greet him to let him know I was there. Then, I’d fall fast asleep and phase back the moment I woke up. 
       I’d never tried this hard to be careful about what I thought when I was phased because I always felt like if I had to suffer in my own mind they did too, but it wasn’t just me. They thought horrible things about me from the moment I joined the pack. Sam was always tougher with me than any of the guys. Even Seth, who was smaller, younger, and weaker than all of us got treated better than I did. I didn’t want to just be the second choice anymore, mocked by the people who were supposed to be there for me. I didn’t want to be spoiled leftovers anymore. Jake would sometimes stick up for me and try to get closer to me, but I was closed off to all relationships with people after my father died. Being out here in the middle of nowhere might be making me soft or maybe I’m just realizing I don’t actually want to be alone. Without the voices of the rest of the pack in my head constantly and the faces of the people, my own people, who betrayed me I found peace. I found myself wanting to be closer to Jacob. It was a foreign feeling to me, I hadn’t experienced any need to be in anyone’s company for months. It didn’t matter either, Jacob was on a search for his gravity and I wouldn’t be a leech in his life because he was doing me a solid by just letting me leave Sam’s pack. I wouldn’t mess this one up, not this time.
       One night I slumped against a tree deep in the woods and phased, about to voice my greeting to Jake to let him know I was there but I stopped to listen because he spoke first.
“Leah, I was worried about you. You didn’t phase last night,” he growled.
“Oh, yeah um sorry Jake, I was doing other things. I found a bed to sleep in last night.” 
“With who?”
“Just some rando I met in the park, we hit it off and I figured I’d give you a break.”
I grimaced to myself, I’d forgotten last night happened. I thought it was just a bad dream.
“Oh… well, it takes like two seconds to phase and tell me, don’t let it happen again,” he snapped.
      I let out a small whine, but he didn’t say anything after that. I fell right to sleep. That next morning I woke up with the strange feeling I was being watched. There was no way there were people this far out in the forest. My ears perked up to listen intently.
“Leah?” Jake’s low voice rumbled in my head.
“Yeah?”
“What’s wrong, are you okay?”
“How would he even know if I wasn’t okay?” I wondered to myself, forgetting he could hear me.
“I just got a bad feeling out of nowhere late last night. I started running to Wisconsin to keep myself awake in case you woke up and were in trouble, plus I’d already be at least halfway there if it happened. Where are you? This forest is huge.”
“You’re here?” I growled. I didn’t expect him to be here.
“Well, yeah, I wasn’t gonna run all that way just to turn around after I knew you were okay,” he chuckled.
I heard a twig crack behind me and I leaped up with a yelp, tucking my tail and preparing to charge whatever it was.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya,” he chortled at my surprised reaction, trotting out from behind a thick tree.
“S’okay, I was already on edge. Jake, what are you doing all the way out here?” I grimaced, rising out of my defensive stance, my tail wagging a couple times. He didn’t fail to notice, twitching his ears in response.
“What, the alpha can’t come to visit his only pack member now?”
“Well, no, I just meant why would you want to be out here with me? I thought you wanted me to leave you alone.”
“Look, Leah, I’m here, okay? Don’t make me regret coming, you seemed like you could use it,” he snapped.
“Okay, I’m not, I’m sorry,” I almost whispered, looking down at my foot pawing the ground.
“Do you want me to get you some breakfast?”
“Jake, I-”
“Some human breakfast.”
       I moved my gaze back up to his copper-red face, not quite meeting his eyes. I let out a small whine in sync with the rumble in my stomach. Suddenly, he took off in the opposite direction dashing behind a tree and phasing into his human form. He appeared around the other side in his regular human clothes and gestured for me to do the same. I let out a low growl to which he chuckled in response and raised both his hands level with his face in surrender, turning on his heels and crossing his arms. I rolled my eyes and darted behind a tree out of sight to phase and yank on my human clothes. When I emerged around the other side he was already a few feet away from me, grinning and looking me up and down. Then, he frowned.
“Leah, are you eating enough?” he demanded.
       For a moment his question shocked me. Maybe too much time alone was getting to him, he never paid me this much attention. He barely even talked to me this much before. My words caught in my throat and I stared at him in disbelief. Why did he care? I was glad he couldn’t hear my every thought now.
“That’s not your business,” I snapped, folding my arms across my chest. “Last I checked, I don’t answer to you.”
       He glared at me as if he were trying to crack me, but after a few moments, he shook his head and grabbed my hand. He began pulling me towards the edge of the forest and I didn’t fight him on it because I really was hungry. Besides, he was much bigger than me, I could only do so much.
“If I had known you were this bad at taking basic care of yourself I never would’ve let you go off by yourself,” he growled, glancing down at me. 
I glared at him as we strolled out of the forest and began through the city to find somewhere to eat.
“I can take care of myself just fine, thank you.”
“Clearly not,” he held my hand up and gestured to my entire arm as evidence to back up his opinion. I rolled my eyes again, there was nothing wrong with my arm. Maybe I was just delusional thinking I actually wanted his company, he was more annoying than I remembered. 
       We found a little small-town cafe type place that we went into. Jake was still holding my hand when we went in and a couple waitresses eyed me sourly. I followed their lines of sight down to our hands which were intertwined and immediately I let go, folding my arms across my chest and avoiding their gazes. He didn’t seem to notice, flashing a dazzling grin at the hostess who was now taking us to a window booth. She all but melted right there on the spot. At this point, I was unsure if Jake had any awareness of his effect on any woman besides Bella or if he just didn’t care. We took our seats across from each other while the short brunette hostess proceeded to ask our drink preference.
“We’ll have two waters, please,” he sounded like he was trying too hard to be polite, smiling at her and nodding.
         He redirected his eyes to the menu once she left and I quickly scanned the one in my hands before deciding I’d want some pancakes and eggs. I slapped the menu shut and set it on the edge of the table, taking a moment to look around the place and take in every old-fashioned, dusty element of this little cafe. The paneled walls were off white and decorated with various framed photos of old white people usually standing with a big red barn in the background or posed with their family outside in a field. It reminded me of my family’s house back in La Push. All the chairs had metal frames and black leather-looking covers. The floor had a wood grain pattern, but I couldn’t tell if it was real or not. There were a few old couples scattered around the rest of the cafe, but other than them, us, and the staff the place was a ghost town inside and out. A few moments after I decided to let my eyes wander they made their way back to Jacob only to realize he was watching me. I frowned. 
“What are you looking at, punk?” I teased but held a serious expression on my face.
“Nothing,” he chuckled. “You just look sort of like a kid in a candy store.”
“Hey, don’t make fun of me Jacob Black. I’m older than you,” I growled.
       He rolled his eyes at me. It was true, I was older than Jacob even though it didn’t look like it. I vaguely remember when he was born because I was around three years old. I watched him grow up, he and Seth played together often and Bella would join too, up until she stopped coming up to her Dad’s all together. We would all three or four run around down on the beach even though it was much too cold to be near the water. Bella liked to find cool rocks and Jacob liked to throw rocks at her. He threw them at me too, but I’d threaten to beat him up if he didn’t stop so he did. Seth and Jacob liked to collect bugs and bring ‘em back to Billy, mom, and dad. Mom would always scream at them to keep the bugs outside where they belonged and the boys got a kick out of her hysteria. They would also chase Bella around with them because it made her scream and run. Eventually, though, she started smacking them instead of running so they stopped that too. I huffed and smiled mostly to myself at the memories that came like a flood in my mind. I had forgotten a lot of my history with Jacob. 
       Suddenly, pulling me out of my daydream, Jacob cleared his throat. My drifted gaze snapped to him with a glare and he jerked his head to alert me that the waitress was almost here. My expression softened and I shifted my eyes away from him embarrassedly. The waitress approached our table, barely glancing at me, settling her eyes on Jacob. She wore a shining smile and she asked him what she could get for him. He proceeded to rattle off this long order of foods I paid no attention to while she scribbled furiously and shoved in her clarifying questions whenever she could. It was kind of funny. I snorted to myself watching her struggle to keep up with him. Finally, when he had finished she turned to me with another sour look.
“And for you?” she asked, breathlessly and with a lot less politeness than before. 
“Pancakes and scrambled eggs please,” I said, slapping the menus into her hand when she reached and watched her walk away. 
       She definitely ran to tell the other waitress what had just happened. Their fawning made me chuckle to myself. Jacob would never notice them the way they noticed him. It was a lost cause. I met Jacob’s gaze and he looked annoyed with me again. I rolled my eyes.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I huffed, pouting out the window.
“Leah, you literally ordered two pancakes and two eggs, you can’t live off of that,” he hissed. 
“Jacob, I know how to take care of myself,” I hissed back at him. This was starting to get very annoying.
“Leah, I’m just worried about you,” he sighed, reaching for my hand across the table. I yanked it from his reach and stared at him with wild anger now burning in my face. Why was he suddenly being so nice to me? 
       I locked eyes with him and suddenly my breath was knocked from my chest. My eyes grew wide and I froze. Suddenly, every memory I’d ever made with Jacob raced through my mind like adrenaline in my veins. I felt my lungs fill and deflate with air, somehow knowing each breath now had a purpose bigger than just myself. His expression changed too, I wondered if he was feeling what I felt. I was suddenly more grounded. My hand gravitated towards his still stretched out across the table, grabbing it firmly in mine. I felt the weight of all my troubles seemingly lift off my shoulders, my mind became clear, my heart was beating with more enthusiasm. My hand buried in his began to feel hotter than the rest of my body if that was even possible with my already abnormal body temperature. His Amber eyes seemed to see into my soul, he squeezed my hand endearingly, matching my gaze. Our breathing was in sync now and both our jaws fell open ever-so-slightly as we stared into each other’s eyes. Why had I never noticed him like this before in all my years of knowing him? It was like the electricity was pulsing between him and me, connecting through our intertwined hands. He was like a cool summer breeze basking under the warm sun on the beach. He was suddenly laughter and cookouts, breakfast on the back porch overlooking the ocean, and picnics on top of a mountain. I could see in him everything I’d ever dreamed of having. Sitting here with him, our hands melting into each other becoming a uniform stream of energy and life, I knew I’d found exactly what I wanted. I could only hope he’d feel the same.
        We both snapped suddenly back into reality when we realized the waitress had returned with our food. “That was fast,” I thought to myself, wondering how long we’d been sitting like that. I yanked my hand out of the way, staring down at my hands now curled in my lap under the table and I began biting my lip nervously. What the fuck just happened? 
       I listened to Jacob talk to the waitress but paid no attention to what he was saying, I couldn’t focus on anything but the sound of his voice that seemed to command the swarm of butterflies in my stomach. He cleared his throat a minute or two after she left when I still hadn’t moved.
“Leah?” his voice was soft now, almost resembling the kid in him.
       My stomach flipped at the sound. I took a deep breath and forced my eyes up to meet his. He looked petrified with anxiety, so my hand instinctively shot out to silently ask for his again before I could even process his expression. My eyes grew wide at my actions but softened when he took it with a smile. My face dropped into a relieved smile in response and I squeezed his hand reassuringly. Whatever this was, I could get used to it. He held onto my hand all through breakfast, not letting go one time and I wasn’t about to make the first move either. I was content at that moment. By the time I’d finished my measly little two pancakes and two eggs, he had also devoured his entire three meals worth of food and the waitress had given us our ticket. I didn’t even question where he got money from, it seemed like something I didn’t want to know. Besides, I was too busy soaking up this new side of Jacob I’d been given. I didn’t even notice the waitresses anymore though I was sure they were whispering about us and exchanging dirty looks. So, we got up, paid, and left even though we didn’t know where we were going. He still had my hand firmly locked in his grip as he led me back towards the forest.
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ardentalgor · 4 years
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MORE AEIRAH AND DIRK LORE BAYBEEEEE
before i start, Im trying to come up with an actual ship name for this mess.  I mentioned it to a friend and they suggested Arteryshipping! I might start using that on posts from now on, but im still open to suggestions regarding the whole ship name thing!
Aeirah’s land is the Land of Veins and Roots!! its just a big mess of roots and hardened sap floes with villages on top and if you cut into the roots blood & sap flow out!! little potato like spuds grow out of the roots and thats like the only food source. the insides are bright red and taste salty!!
Her denizen is Nidhogg, she serpent that went om nom nom on the roots of the world tree. hes at the center of the clump somewhere, chewin his way through some roots. occasionally blood and sap will ‘rain’ down from wherever he is!
why nidhogg? some ppl say that he is trapped beneath the roots, which is similar to how the bonds you have with others can keep you trapped! For aeirah, its literally her roots, as in her homeworld and more specifically her home and lusus. In the Prose Edda, there are some lines that ppl interpret to be a multitude of things! The arrival of Nidhogg heralds Ragnarok (like.... sburb/grub is literally about the end of the world...), Nidhogg gets a redemption arc (similar to shedding snake skin, one ‘sheds’ the their previous live to begin anew [aeirah is literally starting a new life]), or he just... dies. 
her lusus and consorts are both axolotls! her lusus is an omniverous predator/scavenger and the consorts are consorts. they hang out on the sap floe villages and vibe.
Aeriahs strife specibus is Staffkind! she eventually ends up with a staff that looks like the receptor thingies on T-Cells bc blood yay
also, if it was unknown, she is part of an either 3 or 4 player session with some other trolls! it was... well... destined to fail. no space or time player, and a repeat classpect- weve got 2 Mages of Blood. Both of them (Aeirah and a troll called Vynnie) have a lot of trouble making and keeping frends, but in different ways!! Aeirah is a people pleaser and tends to come across as very ingenuine to ppl. She has trouble carrying conversations, bc she just doesnt know what to talk about and before character development is too scared and unsure of herself to talk about her own interests. She also has trouble keeping friends and has a tendency to isolate herself from ppl who care for her. and when she does feel like she can confide in someone, she gets very rambly and even more nervous about what they will think of her.
Now, i hear you asking, “how did Aeirah meet Dirk????” well sit back bc i have a story for you
once it becomes clear that their session is doomed, Aeirah and the other trolls in her session skedaddle to try and live in the dream bubbles! Aeirah somehow get separated and spends a few years wandering through the bubbles. One day, she come across a strange creature- a human!! he’s got these weird ass glasses and some spikey hair in a color shes never see before on a sentient creature. She is intrigued! She doesnt... follow this person, per se, but more of... shows up where he is in hopes that he will make the first move in starting a friendship!! Eventually it works and hes like “wtf are you doing” and shes like “...trying to be friends?” and hes like “i dont like how you went about doing it but i appreciate your honesty. My name is Dirk.” and everything takes off from there
also!! I view a Mage as someone who creates, so a Mage of Blood would create bonds! As a bit of an homage to Dirk’s aspect, Aeirah ends up making the most bonds with herself! She has a council of dead Aeirahs who she consults whenever she comes upon a dilemma. Its headed by the ‘Omega’ Aeirah, the Aeirah who made it the longest down the Alpha timeline but still died. the majority of Aeirahs come from her session, in various states of god tierd and not. A small handful are from her journeys in the dream bubbles, and the majority of the rest are from after she officially joins the Alpha timeline in the battle against Lord English. 
And finally, im not sure if i mentioned this before, but Aeirahs Trollian handle is ardentAlgor! Ardent is an adjective meaning ‘having, expressive of, or characterized by intense feeling’ and Algor is an obsolete medical term for a sensation of coldness. AA is also the genetic opposite of TT! haha dirk 
if you read this all, thank you! i hope you enjoyed! I’m really enjoying fleshing out Aeirah as a character. It’s a real challenge to translate myself and how I act into a younger and less mentally sound troll! 
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