the antichrist's wellness influencer era
HELLO, SINNERS, welcome to my youtube channel, I'm Adam, the Antichrist, Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of this World, father of lies, Spawn of Satan, Lord of Darkness.
Today I want to talk to you about the law of attraction, a trend that's been circulating in the self-improvement community recently. And hey, I'm all about the law of attracting! TODAY WE'RE MANIFESTING OUR BEST, MOST SINFUL LIVES.
Now I know some of you are skeptical. Manifestation? What kind of nonsense is that, it's not for us Satanical sinners! Well, I'm here to tell you that is ABSOLUTELY IS. NOT JUST MANIFESTATION, BUT ITS SINFUL BROTHER, DELUSIONS.
LET ME SHARE A REAL LIFE STORY.
I HAVE USED MANIFESTATION MYSELF. IN FACT, I USED IT AT THE EARLY AGE OF ELEVEN. I USED IT TO REVERSE THE APOCALYPSE! Not only that, I delusioned my way out of my bloodline of darkness, made myself related to my adoptive family, created duck aliens, possessed my friends and defied heaven and hell!
SO YOU SEE, YOUR DELUSIONS CAN NOT ONLY MANIFEST YOUR FUTURE, BUT ALSO REWRITE YOUR PAST. BE DELULU. IT WORKS.
Of course, I then reclaimed my Antichrist identity for this Youtube channel, because my good friend Pepper said I needed to stick it to the patriarchy and shake the status quo of the current self-improvement clime. She then said this is not what she meant by that, but HEY! THE LESSON IS, DON'T FOLLOW THE PACK, CARVE YOUR OWN PATH, EVEN IF IT'S A STUPIDER ONE!
MY GOOD FRIEND CROWLEY ALSO MANIFESTED HIS WAY THROUGH THE DREAD SIGIL ODEGRA, DRIVING HIS CAR INTO FLAMES AND EMERGING THE OTHER SIDE.
ALL BECAUSE HE WAS ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY DELULU!
I TURNED THE HELLHOUND INTO MY LIL DOG NAMED DOG, AGAIN THROUGH SHEER DELULU!
THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY, SINNERS. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF DELULU.
AS USUAL, MAKE SURE YOU GET YOUR DAILY MINIMUM OF THREE OF THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS. I'M GOING WITH SLOTH, GLUTTONY AND PRIDE! COMMENT BELOW WHAT SINS YOU'RE INDULGING IN TODAY, TRADITIONAL SEVEN OR OTHERWISE.
SIGNING OFF WITH MY SIGIL, THIS WAS THE ANTICHRIST. MAY SATAN GUIDE YOU DOWN THE ROAD TO HELL.
178 notes
·
View notes
In season 1 of Good Omens there’s a scene of Pepper complaining about the fact she got a bike with a basket instead of gears and shit. But then when the Them are riding to the airbase in episode 5 (I think), it’s Adam who has the bike with a basket.
In short: Adam swapped bikes with Pepper to make her happy. And probably because the basket was more functional for him, as we see Dog riding around in it. So Adam also says fuck gender norms in favour of functionality.
239 notes
·
View notes
What destroys a man more quickly than to work, think and feel without inner necessity, without any deep personal desire, without pleasure—as a mere automaton of duty?
Nietzsche, The Anti-Christ
132 notes
·
View notes
Currently looking for three horses and three capable riders to help me with a project.
-would prefer the horses be white, red, and black. My horse is pale and I am trying to maintain a certain aesthetic
-interested parties should be familiar with the Book of Revelation (a quick scan of Wikipedia should suffice)
-commitment to the project is essential. Applicants should have a ride or and die mentality
-just for giggles, please include a brief summary of your general thoughts on apocalypses: yay or neigh? (See what I did there? Let’s keep this fun!)
*please be sure to mention whether you are responding to the Craigslist or the Tumblr post*
61 notes
·
View notes
Uhh wait, the nightlights again...
I didn't catch that WARLOCK had a red nightlight as well:
Adam's:
And MAGGIE?!
I dunno what it means, if anything, but Maggie has a LOT of clues crammed into one character lol. She's not the right age to the the Third Baby but something has to be going on.
44 notes
·
View notes