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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (non-anime heat 1)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. Now, I present my favourites!

Another that was so so so hard to narrow down. I did have to make special mention, though, at the sheer volume of you who (correctly) pointed out Haruka and Michiru either spending their quarantine fucking, or frustrated at being unable to fuck. Thank you, heroes.

If your answer is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

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Q: The Senshi are all quarantining together! Describe what a wonderful/terrible/wonderrible idea this is. (YOU CANNOT BE TOO DETAILED)

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* First things first: if the Senshi are all quarantining *together*, then they must be old enough to be not living with their parents (or lack thereof). Furthermore, they must be living in a place big enough to accommodate all of them. Now, the Outers already have a huge fuck-off house, so if we're cheating and saying ALL the Senshi, not just the Inners, then we can say that Usagi and the girls moved in with Haruka and the girls after high school. Usagi and Makoto and Minako have almost certainly snubbed college; Ami and Rei not only attending, but Ami is aiming to get her Master's, so both of them have to take online courses. Setsuna is teaching them. Haruka and Michiru graduated from college *ages* ago. Hotaru also has to take online courses, but for high school since she'd be about that age at this point. Chibs is not here because she's smarter than to travel back in time to when there was a GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Now then! Usagi is moping because she can't see Mamoru or Chibi-Usa, so she reads manga and watches TV to distract herself. As per her usual she mostly shoves her nose into what everyone else is doing, then gets distracted by a passing butterfly and chases it until she finds something new to stick her nose into. She's honestly taking the quarantine the hardest, even though she's living in a house with all her closest friends. The delivery guy knows her by name and by her super-cute hand-sewn (by Makoto) pink-and-white bunny mask. Makoto has sewn everyone custom masks, actually, which brings us to... Makoto naturally is doing the cooking and cleaning and laundry, and while she does love doing these things, she's now doing them for NINE PEOPLE, and Usagi has never learned to fold a sock in her life, and Ami folds socks but is crazy busy with her coursework, and Minako/Rei/Michiru/Haruka can't be bothered for one reason or another, and Makoto is about to explode because everybody assumes she'll do everything and do it smiling and normally they wouldn't be WRONG but COME THE FUCK ON YOU GUYS. She is in a constant state of being two steps away from an explosion. The only saving grace is Setsuna, who does actually help out in between teaching online courses, and who patiently listens to Makoto vent, because she understands that if Makoto melts down, so will the rest of the household. Makoto has a pink-and-green rose mask; Setsuna has a wine red mask with black stitching. Ami has vanished into her room. STUDY, STUDY, STUDY, STUDY. She is literally taking four courses at once because with a global pandemic, a) what else is there to do with one's life b) the rest of the household is utter chaos c) MUST DEVELOP VACCINE. She has actually be helping researchers online with this under an anonymous name. She *wants* to go out and volunteer, but understands that the best thing she can do is quarantine properly. She is constantly lecturing everyone about Best Quarantine Practices, to the point that the others mostly tune her out now. This is only piling onto her constant stress. Hotaru visits her occasionally with tea and textbooks so they can study and destress together. It's good for both of them, especially since Hotaru, with her health issues, is the most at risk of all of them. Hotaru's also used to isolation, so she's a surprisingly stabilizing presence for everybody. Ami and Hotaru both have standard hospital red-lined white masks along with their custom masks (Ami's is light blue with dolphin clasps on the side; Hotaru's is designed based on that optical illusion that's either a lamp or two people facing each other), because you need one for when the other is in the wash. Minako has become a Twitch game streamer and beauty YouTuber and is updating both CONSTANTLY, with YT guest star appearances by Michiru (who is always effortlessly and flawlessly beautiful) and Rei (who is using Minako to promote her own YouTube channel). Minako tried to get Usagi to be the camerawoman for her YT show but Usagi wanted to be the star too much, so now Minako as strong-armed Haruka into doing it. Haruka is bored out of her mind because she can't go out on drives, so she helps Minako out without complaint. Sometimes she even guest-stars on Minako's Twitch streams, depending on the game. Getting to film beautiful girls making themselves even hotter? Sure, she's into that. Minako's mask is glittery gold with red ribbons for cords; Rei's mask is black with flame decals on the sides; Haruka's is a solid black, tight and sporty; Michiru's is seemingly plain white, "coincidentally" complementing Haruka's, but is made of fine linen and silk. Rei meanwhile doesn't actually know what her channel is about and didn't give two shits about YouTube until Minako started doing it, but Minako is actually raking in a stupid amount of cash from doing this, so Rei figured, how hard could it be?? Right now she's somewhere in between doing her own beauty channel, doing paranormal investigations, cooking channel (she proudly presents instant meals as time- and money-saving masterpieces without an ounce of self-awareness. Haruka has had to hold Makoto back from suplexing her more than once), and a video review column where she tries things out and gives her opinions on them. She's *absolutely furious* that her channel is not as popular as Minako's. She's also strongarmed Haruka into being her camerawoman. Michiru allows this because watching Minako and Rei fight over their respective channels is the most amusement she's had all year. Ami asks Rei when she finds the time to study. Rei ignores her. -- @ayu-ohseki [I said spare no detail, AND YOU DID NOT. Thoughtful, considered, and a fun read start to finish, amazing.]

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* It is the best. Minako has a captive audience, Makoto has everyone to cook for, Rei has taken charge of how to Do Everything, Ami can hole up with her books and tutor Usagi, Usagi has all the time to play games and read comics. It is the worst. Minako has a captive audience and they want new stories faster than she can make them. Makoto has everyone to cook for and they eat so much all the time. Rei has taken charge of how to Do Everything but no one will listen. Ami can hole up with her books but that doesn't mean its quiet enough to read, and she can tutor Usagi but that doesn't mean Usagi is even making a small attempt at listening like in the group study sessions. Usagi has all the time to play video games and read comics, but no one will let her, especially Rei. -- @cakeandpi [Loved the Dickensian Best of Times/Worst of Times structure, precisely the level of epic this clusterfuck needs.]

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* In the best of situations, it is difficult to find housing for nine people on short notice, and these are not the best of situations. Given that she had, from at least the age of four, been bound to the moon by a curse of blood, it should not have come as any grand opportunity to Michiru that the opportunity to recuse herself from larger society life would be immediately and aggressively offset by Haruka's invitation for the Senshi to come quarantine at the Kaioh beach cottage.

One might assume that perhaps Usagi's parents, or Ami's mother, or Rei's grandfather, might have objected to their children being out of their sight in such a time, but that is to discount the general narrative inconvenience that seemed to pursue Michiru to the last. "Babe, there's like 6 bedrooms in the place," Haruka has said, quite missing the point entirely that Michiru had made it her goal to make use of everyone one of them. And so, here she was, where one might be sipping a glass of champagne on the veranda overlooking the sea, lover at her side, instead she was listening to the endless sniping between Rei and Usagi as they pattered about the house, there was no lover next to her, but only Ami with her endless piles of conspicuously books that Michiru felt quite certain had been selected for the view their covers provided others, Mako sending away the cook for what were noted to be COVID concerns but Michiru felt were more the concern of her longing for the spacious kitchen. Her mind preserved her enough not to speak of Minako, nor of the fact that the one she would have beside her was currently playing Mario Kart with such. Hotaru and Pluto were there, also. Michiru took another deep drink of the wine. With the volume she was consuming, she would have to switch to boxed wine. At this rate, she may qualify as hand santizer herself, which nearly stayed her hand. Usagi wailed loudly at Rei. Michiru took another drink. No Matter, she thought, for I will not die before my appointed time. The Moon will certainly see to that. -- @docholligay [You absolutely catered this to me and you know it, you whore. Hilarious AND beautifully written, I detest you.]

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* Usagi is thrilled to have all of her favorite people in one place. Mako will cook! Ami will read to them! Mina will write and Rei will direct plays for them all to perform! Haruka will make sure they stay fit! Michiru will teach them etiquette! Hotaru and Setsuna will also be there! Her favorite cats will be there to purr and offer guidance without actual knowledge and nagging! Yay! After a week, Usagi is still relentlessly happy. To be otherwise would be to admit that her friends are not perfect, perfectly suited for each other, and perfectly happy. She hasn't seen Haruka and Michiru at all in days; they commandeered the back bedroom with it's own bathroom and the others only know they're still in there by the noises *ahem*, by the food delivery people who keep coming to the door, and the empty food containers that appear in the hallway. Mina and Rei are not speaking to each other after the Hair Clip Incident. Ami is still diligently serving as a go-between, but Mako refused and will not give either of them any of her cooking, so Rei keeps making Hello Curry and leaving the kitchen a disaster, while Mina somehow keeps convincing Haruka and Michiru's uber eats drivers to give her stuff. There is only one litter box for the two cats, and that is not enough. And Artemis keeps leaving the seat up on the toilet. No one knows how, or why, but he does. Hotaru and Setsuna are also there. Worst (best?) of all, Usagi doesn't miss Mamoru at all, and hasn't actually noticed his absence. He's been missing for three days. -- @incorrecttact [I ADORE the little touch of Usagi having to aggressively fake it because even she is struggling THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED. You made me bark laugh at the end. Glorious.]

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* Rei's Journal: It's day 8 under lockdown and I have somehow managed to retain my sanity. It has not been easy. By day 4 Minako and Makoto were at each other's throats because Minako tried to clip her toenails in the kitchen, due to Ami holing herself up in the bathroom. Makoto threatened to make Minako eat a toenail burrito, and by God I think Minako actually would eat it just to show Mako up. It has been a struggle to keep Usagi from eating all the food, and I fear she is contemplating the idea of eating Luna and/or Artemis. Ami is retreating further and further into her shell. She has solved every math problem in every math book she had at her disposal, and is now showing withdrawal symptoms. The walls of her room are covered in math equations. I am doing as best I can; my rations of "Here!" Quarantine snacks have been balanced to last me for at least the next week, but after that point I am not sure what happens. As a shrine maiden, I'm used to long periods of silence in my meditation. It's been difficult keeping my focus with Usagi and the others slowly losing their minds, but I am a survivor if nothing else. If I could survive D-Point, I can survive this... Wait I didn't survive D-Point FUCK. -- @judedeluca [Rei’s journal, yes, thank you for catering to me directly, I appreciate your service and killer ending.]

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* Everyone's locked into separate rooms by day 2, or make-shift rooms with blankets taped to the ceiling. By day 3, there's lines on the floor. Ami makes a timetable for when everyone can go to shared spaces like the kitchen or bathroom. Usagi is distressed that all of her friends can't get along, even as she has an existential crisis about not wanting to be around them herself. Rei is suddenly the mom friend, when Mako realizes that trying to help everyone leads to her stress-baking leads to her taking too much time in the kitchen leads to everyone more pissed off. Minako is alternately drunk off her ass and egging everyone on, or making notes for pressure cooker situations to add to training. Haruka gets more sullen than anyone's seen her, Michiru loses some of her polish as her nerves finally fray by the end of the week, and is cussing people out by day 9. Setsuna immediately regrets her decision not to hunker down at the time gate. Hotaru's glad to be included but so anxious she starts collecting the house's lamps in her area. Ami has to make a timetable for using those as well, so Hotaru doesn't call death to them all. Somehow, they survive. When things let up, they all promise not to speak of it again, at least not directly, and then immediately all take at least 3 days to be by themselves in their own spaces. -- @katrani [Usagi’s existential crisis, yessss. Hotaru stress-hoarding lamps though, everything I never knew I wanted.]

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* Ordered in Michru's least loss to greatest, or conversely, Usagi's greatest loss to least: 1) they stay at Michiru's mansion. It's huge. It's spacious. Michiru disappears within minutes and isn't seen again until 14 days later. Pluto finds her easily enough for tea, Rei does so out of dogged determination, and Haruka doesn't have to try. Usagi does, but she gets lost easily and there are so many snacks everywhere, she gets distracted. what's that? A room filled with tvs? another with comics? Mako worries about her getting cavities and uses the greatest kitchen ever to cook things up. She almost never leaves there. Ami poisons the pool every time she leaves as part of the great Hatemace. Chibs and Hotaru get a chance to be kids and actually play. If the starlights are there, Seiya and Haruka have a dramatic face off. Mina makes sure to leave graffiti everywhere. Despite her best efforts, she can't find Michiru's weakness. Artemis and Luna take a vacation. 2) They stay at Usagi's, Minako's, or Ami's. They do not stay at Rei's because Grandpa is old and Rei has put the fear of god in anyone who dares come to the temple. The houses/apartments are small and cramped with just the five inners. With everyone else? Chaos. Artemis and Luna are glad they aren't affected and escape. Chibs conveniently stays in the covid-free future/"look, I already have teh vaccine! I don't have to stay here with you". Hotaru contemplates reincarnating again. Mako enjoys time with Usagi's mom, cooking together (no, she isn't crying, you're crying). Minako takes extremely long showers to piss Michiru off. Michiru is not sure how she got forced into this, she feels the hand of god in play and curses the writer internally. Pluto unravels the mystery of super!spy!Usagi's Dad but no one will ever know the answer to that. Ami escapes online and plays sims where they all have their own rooms, with Jet's help. Rei turns on the stove and pretends its the great fire to meditate. Haruka likes this long sleepover! She's never got to do one before! Usagi agrees and they plan horror movies and games and fast food. If the starlights are there, Seiya plans an even greater slumber party. Usagi helps both because more parties are always better. 3) They stay at Mako's two-room apartment. Chibs doesn't even step into the past, she's heard the horror stories from her aunts. Hotaru begins the sequence for the end of the world. Word of god or no word of god, Michiru refuses to go. When the narrative railroads her into it, she claims the balcony for herself, furnishes it, and locks the door so no one else can come. Pluto stays in the void, unreachable by all. Mako has never seen her apartment so filled and noisy and she's both elated and afraid for her plants. Her plants are terrified and tremble the entire time. Rei lives in the oven. Minako claims the bathroom--a toll is required for anyone else to enter. Ami puts all her brainpower to finding a cure to escape this hellhole. The bedroom is a nonstop competitive slumber party, and Minako, Haruka, and Seiya have a song off. A toll is still required to enter the bathroom. Usagi breaks onto the balcony once to hug Michiru. -- @kumeko [I love the different branches, ALL THE SHENANIGANS]

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* (Putting Inners in college so Ami isn’t on call as a doctor) The good news is that the Outers’ ridiculously spacious mansion is, in fact, ridiculously spacious enough to accomodate eleven people (I’m certain Mamoru was not in your intentions, but it was agreed that Mamoru is a good quarantine podmate who will follow all necessary rules, and also Usagi would be insufferable if he’s not there and Mako points out that he lives alone and the social isolation would be killer) and three cats. Haruka’s happy to have Minako around all the time, and Pluto and Hotaru are thrilled to have Chibs. (Rei asked why Pluto and Chibiusa can’t just go back to their own times. Pluto gives a lengthy explanation about past and future virology that may or may not be total bullshit. No one really knows with her.) Ami is continuing her studies, as she does, and has a consistent schedule involving Study Hours and Socializing Hours. She does, however, make sure to swim in the Outers Mansion Pool every day at the same time Michiru customarily does. Neither of them says anything about this. Their rivalry continues. Michiru knows every nook, cranny, and secret passage there, and can easily avoid anyone who’s gotten stir-crazy should she so choose. Mako has taken command of the kitchen, and cannot be talked out of doing all the cooking. The food is delicious, nutritious, and is basically Quarantine Baking Times Twelve. Her skills are appreciated by all. Mamoru is likewise well-behaved, and mostly spends his time being quietly useful, spending time with Usagi, and listening to classical music with Michiru without otherwise interacting with her, making him the one man whose presence she will tolerate. The cats are well-behaved. They are the ones who are quarantining well. Minako, of course, is dying of boredom by the month and a half mark, and proceeds to take up a wide variety of hobbies, only to move on when they turn out way less fun than the video suggested. She annoys the others to show her how to bake tarts, or paint, or whatever it is Pluto does all day. Eventually she does find something she enjoys enough to stick with - wirework. While her preference is for jewelry, she does work with larger scale stuff just enough to present Mamoru with her masterpiece - Chicken Sculpture 2.0. (He seethes.) Rei, meanwhile, has also taken up new and exciting hobbies, but she will determinedly stick with each one until she has reached an arbitrary goal of Accomplishment. Even when she hates them, as is the case with birdwatching, Zumba, Mako’s attempts to refine her sense of taste, and trying to follow professional wrestling. She does take to cross-stitching once she discovers it’s basically stabbing something until it’s art. Felting, too. Between that and cleaning she’s a delight when she and Minako are not grating against each other. Which is frequently, with them both taking up all these new hobbies. (When assigning rooms, Michiru thought ahead. Rei’s and Usagi’s are next to each other, at the end of the hall. They bicker as much as ever but everyone else can get distance when really needed.) Usagi is happy to be somewhere with all her dearest friends, all the time! She is VERY BAD at waiting patiently until everyone else’s Productive Hours are over, be they online classes and homework or painting or quietly stealing Mamoru’s abstract mosquito coil shirt and throwing it through the Gate of Time and into a void where it will never again darken their sight. (Pluto isn’t a monster, and replaces it with a similar but less incomprehensible white T-shirt with a pattern. Mamoru assumes this was Minako’s doing.) Artemis assigns himself as resident Blonde Disaster Watcher, while Chibiusa - currently visiting as a roughly 14-year-old, matching Hotaru - smugly points out that she’s handling quarantine just fine. This prompts a round of furious research by the rest of the house as to whether or not cats can drink alcohol. Haruka’s practically run down a path around the Sprawling Kaioh Estate on which the mansion sits. How can she angst gaily without a mission? Sure obviously staying home and keeping safe is the most important thing and she will do her part, but that’s not nearly dramatic enough to hate herself for if she decides she’s quarantining inadequately! Michiru decides the best thing for this is to take her, Usagi, and Minako and sit them all down with empty scrapbooks. Usagi and Haruka emerge after the pandemic with eighteen volumes of Important Friendship Scrapbooks. There’s an adorable doodle of them high-fiving on the title page of each one. They designed it themselves. Despite this all, quarantine does actually pass without any of them killing each other, though Haruka and Michiru do strongly consider sending the others to Hikawa Shrine instead. Grandpa Hino can manage all this energy. No one except Chibiusa thinks to ask how Hotaru’s doing. They forgot to check her room. -- Regalli [I know legit sadness in my Senshi Heart that I cannot see Haruka and Usagi’s scrapbooks with my own eyeballs. Loved this whole thing, but fucking Hotaru at the end hahahah]

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* It's all a matter of perspective. Mako and Ami will keep themselves consistently busy with cooking/baking, plant caregiving, reading, eating sandwiches, etc. Mako will eventually cave, after like, day 6 and there are 3 dozen scones, they lost count of cookies, and they've got frozen meals for weeks. Rei keeps telling her to stop cooking because she stumbled into Mako's apartment with armfuls of Here! Curry! and convenience store meals. Usagi is sooooo boooooored all the time and that's a dangerous combo with Minako being soooooo booooooored all the time. The Rube-Goldberg machines, the destruction, the pranks. More about Rei sadly as I know you don't particularly care for her at all whatsoever: she is a rollercoaster. Every day is too different but it's also always the same. Usagi is eating too much of her food but nobody else is eating enough. It won't go bad this way, but Usagi STOP I GOT THAT KIND OF CHIPS FOR ME. She finds some peace with Michiru who herself trying to keep a grasp on her ~*ara*~ ness but won't admit that by day four has been wanting out. "The girls are sweet" she convinces herself as she listens to another screaming match between Usagi and Rei while Minako snapchats everything. Haruka lost it by the second day, she can't stand not doing anything and not being in motion. At first this was channeled into doing small workouts that Mako sometimes participated in from a distance, but those have stopped. How long have you been laying on her floor today, Haruka? You gonna get up and have something to eat today Haruka? Hotaru and Chibs keep themselves busy with games and movies (Chibs and Usagi fight over the TV), Setsuna plays sometimes but is just happy to watch and enjoy these moments of peace. Chib's pride is on the line because she is getting bored by day 5 but she will not be sooooooo booooooored like Usagi. Mamoru begins to bring them all takeout by day 10 and slips Michiru a bottle of wine when she comes down, she is grateful, the label brings a tear to her eye, he knows good wine. Luna and Artemis are there. They sure are cats, and they can come and go if they want. They are envied. At some point they are all laying in the living room together. They don't know how long, someone's playlist is playing in the background. They don't care. It's the longest anyone has gone without talking. It's the one of the few times they've truly felt connected with one another as a team. Minako then asks, "If I ate myself, would I become twice as big or cease to exist?" It was nice while it lasted. -- @thatonemoonie [Every detail is divine, but oh my god Minako’s question at the end, THANK YOU.]

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* Michiru does not have enough wine and the Moon will pay for what she has endured. -- the Lord of the Sea [Summing it up in the perfect single sentence, brilliant.]

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* It's Usagi's idea, really. Quarantine procedures are announced and she can't help but imagine what it will be like for all her friends. Minako, stuck with family she doesn't get along with. Ami's mom under even more stress as an essential worker, probably avoiding her daughter to keep her safe from the virus. Makoto, completely alone! Rei, probably regressing from not seeing other people! This cannot stand. Usagi has visions of Mako making gigantic family style meals and keeping things scrupulously clean. Ami contentedly petting Luna and Artemis and keeping them all up to date on how things are progressing. Minako livening the mood by driving Rei insane. And all is right in Usagi's world. It IS like that... sometimes. Being stuck together 24/7 has its ups and downs, and there has never been a situation as prolonged as this one. There are tense moments, and fights over silly things like toilet paper and Usagi running up the phone bill by calling Mamoru so often. It's cramped. Ami tries to keep them up on their distance learning, and checks temperatures daily. They try some disastrous DIYS and recipes when supplies get low. Usagi and Rei have an emotional moment when one night, she tries to secretly use Moon Healing Escalation on the city. In the end, they come through stronger than ever, like always. Just with a lot more appreciation for distance and personal space. -- @yunyin [All incredible, but you absolutely fucking GOT ME with Rei catching Usagi trying to heal the city, DELICIOUS ANGST]

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I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (currently looking to be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.

#THE GIFTENING 2020 #THE GIFTENING 2020 admin stuff #THE GIFTENING 2020 bonus q

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (anime heat 2)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. Now, I present my favourites! And really, they were ALL favourites. Mmm, headcanony goodness.

Oh, special shoutout to this unattributed one, which I suspect fell prey to someone submitting early, but as phrased, made me snort laugh: “one of my longest held headcanons is that ami“

SAME, FRIEND

Anyway, If your answer is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

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Q: Senshi headcanon time! Intrigue me, humour me, crush me, FEED ME.

* Michiru actually did have a guardian cat, once. It was silvery grey with dark blue eyes. It did not speak, but it was always there to provide support and comfort in a life which had little of either. The first time Michiru had a strong vision, which left her cold and senseless on the floor of her room, it was the small warmth from her cat that brought her back to the world of color and light and solidity. The cat was a friend and confidante in those early days, when Michiru was unsure if this experience was real or the beginnings of schizophrenia. The fact that her mother could see the cat, and regularly make comments about the uncleanliness of such creatures, was proof of Michiru's new reality. So when the cat entered the fray to distract a youma, saving Michiru, but being killed in the process, it became one more thing that the Moon had given her, only to steal away. Michiru promised herself to never rely on another again, or to allow the Moon to have her heart again. And she had done fairly well at this. Haruka, for all her charms, was a plaything, and not something to sacrifice herself for. But pausing outside the Marine Cathedral, Michiru found herself looking into dark blue eyes, so different, but so similar, and knew that she would do anything and everything in her power to keep from having to watch them close, again. -- @incorrecttact [YOU ARE ALSO KILLING THESE QUESTIONS. This hit me right in the kokoro, and I welcomed its sweet sweet pain.]

* Mako teaches Hotaru, Chibiusa, and the Amazon Quartet to cook and bake as a bonding activity. Hotaru LOVES making cakes and decorating them. Chibiusa likes cooking with noodles and even making her own; it doesn’t sound special, but the food she makes is DELICIOUS. Ves, the red one, finds cooking easy, but doesn’t like it and so never does outside of being coaxed into it. Jun, the green one, finds baking easy, but also doesn’t like sweet things, which limits her repertoire. Cere, the pink one, has no natural talent, but she very much WANTS to be good at it, so she turns out to be the best cook of her Senshi group. Palla takes to neither, but she is very enthusiastic about eating their experiments. -- Jules [I am an absolute slut for Mako and moments with the kids, and including the Quartet was a brilliant stroke.]

* A Serenity is not supposed to be reborn. They are born, they live, they die, and they are done. They are not like the Senshi, whose souls reincarnate, carefully bound to Serenity blood. They are not supposed to be reborn, so when Queen Serenity sees everything fail and decides to send their souls to the future, the Senshi are easy. Serenity is not. In desperation, Serenity does something she would have never considered in any other circumstance: she ties Serenity's soul to the Senshi. What was once a one way tie, has now become an equal bond, and so everything changes. -- @madegeeky [Ooo, this is some lovely twists on my own reincarnation headcanons, while still keeping the “this is a mistake” flavour. IT TASTES GOOD.]

* How about more Rei whistle antics? You headcanon Usagi would use the whistle for every mundane thing and Rei would come. Usagi would do this at 2 AM in the morning too and Rei would still be woken up and still come even in pajamas if she need be because Usagi had a spooky nightmare or "Rei-chan I fell off my bed and now my face hurts". Knowing Rei whistle antics can be funny for us and maybe aggravating for Rei at times because "Usagi you blew the whistle because you fell off the bed?" what if we can make it a pinch sad? Like what if Rei can tell what sort of peril Usagi is in by the way she blows the whistle in tone? Like when it's a sad somewhat weaker whistle, even if it's just a tiny subtle tone, Rei can IMMEDIATELLY tell "USAGI IS SAD AND NEEDS ME" and she will RUSH over in 5 seconds like in her Rei way, she might even have the mind to bring snacks, cocoa and plush to hug for the comfort. -- Mrs. Duckling [HOW ABOUT INDEED. I hadn’t thought about the different ways the whistle can be blown and what it might say, what a wonderful addition. THANK YOU FOR CATERING DIRECTLY TO ME AND MY NEEDS]

* PGSM!Sailor Mars - [REDACTED] Oh. Right. You're not there yet. Awkward... Anime!Minako is a huge fan of romance manga, but for all the wrong reasons. She tried drawing doujinshi of crack ships before realizing that A) she's not really a writer and B) she's REALLY not an artist. She plans on using some of her rich idol singer money to commission really bizarre romance stories. The sort that make you go WTF?! Of course, step one is "become a rich and famous idol"... Meanwhile, Rei also buys the romance manga that Minako gets into, (partially so she'll shut up about it) but mainly just analyzes them for mood and the characters, and gets frustrated when they inevitably devolve into nothing but sappy kissing and mooning over each other. She's trying to see why Minako gets so obsessed, but doesn't want to flat out admit that she doesn't get it and have to ask. -- Peter "Pigeons!" Svensson [I had nothing but fun with this, fantastic. ps: THANK YOU FOR THE PIGEONS NOMINATION]

* If these four* Senshi were to meet you, I think they'd each also be meeting some of their best qualities: Usagi is love, and that love is infectious as HELL. Much like a certain blogger who has amassed an international following on the strength of her love for her favourite media, wouldn't you say? Ami is very impressed by your office set-up! But when she sees you re-enter the room with a sprightly little black cat riding on your shoulder, she knows she has discovered a kindred spirit. Where can Rei-chan possibly begin? From your passionately informed and encyclopedic knowledge of their interactions ("She has RECEIPTS, Usagi!"), to your, let's call it tenacity ("She stirred that sugar for TWO HOURS, Usagi!!"), Rei finds so much to admire. And while no one could ever possibly love Rei as much as she loves herself, she magnanimously allows that you are a close second. As for Haruka, well! World Shaking? More like Toilet Breaking! You wrecked that shit and unleashed the sea. She can certainly relate *eyebrows, eyebrows* *would that i had time to write out blurbs for the others! but we're heading back into lockdown today, and i need to get to the post office to mail you a package. PRIORITIES! xo -- @rasiqra-revulva [Okay look when I said “crush me” I didn’t mean WITH NICENESS. Also thank you for the huge laughs. *eyebrows, eyebrows*]

* Minako manages to write a tell-all book (anonymously, of course, and with names changed to protect the relevant,) about their first few years as Senshi in the lull between Stars and Shit Escalating Again. Even more astoundingly, she manages to get it optioned as a film and play Sailor Mars without blowing her cover! Rei seethes. Minako’s annoyed because she tried out for Usagi. Usagi’s just happy Minako’s successful. The film manages to pick up nominations come award season, and Michiru even arranges for the rest of the Senshi to attend. Minako loses to some film from a really overrated director that manages to out-award bait her reenactment of D-Point. She’s silently fuming through his acceptance speech when he’s Burning Mandala’d mid-sentence. And that’s how the Senshi discovered that Jadeite survived getting run over with planes, joined the entertainment industry after Beryl’s defeat, and had been using it to drain energy ever since! Sailor Mars’s speech about how he disgraces the passion of filmmakers everywhere and her comrade’s hard work goes viral. -- Regalli [LOVED THE TWIST ENDING, also Rei basically stealing the awards show stage, as we all know she would]

* Not Senshi, but cats! One day, when Usagi is queen, she's going to decide to knight the cats. Luna thinks it's silly and figures Usagi is just acting on a whim, but Artemis has his chest puffed out and is glowing with pride. They're given tiny medals made by Endymion. -- RibbonFinale [Oh I DID want this. I wanted this very much, THANK YOU.]

* Makoto can't culture bonsai trees. It's not a matter of ability, or scale — she can work with tiny tools with equal facility as large ones — but she can't bring herself to push the things down, to cut and twist and bind them to grow the way _she_ wants, not the way it wants to grow. The tiny pine she bought to try it out, years ago, is in a pot in the corner of her apartment; it's just now grown taller than she is. -- Taperwolf [I didn’t expect this one to hit me as hard as it did when I started reading. Love it, love it, love it.]

* You know those 'meetings Usagi doesn't know about'? the ones where the girls dive into the nitty gritty about being senshi, the ones where they decide who will take up being the Disguise Pen Decoy if Minako is killed? Usagi knows about them. it was one of those 'character A eavesdrops and hears character B talking about them' setups, but instead of hearing Ami call Usagi a ditz, she hears Ami saying 'I'm the weakest fighter, if Minako is assassinated and we need someone to be decoy it'd be easier to explain away my absence than Rei's or Mako's' In these meetings they speak very coldly about themselves, Ami is always first to call herself the weak one, Minako calls into attention her showboating, Mako will openly remind people she doesn't think things through on the battlefield, and Rei derides herself on her inability to keep her cool (heh) and they all come up with contingencies to cover for eachother to the minutest detail. Usagi only ever evesdrops on one of these meetings, but now she knows they happen. and she can't un-know. -- Vega [OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.]

Manga Sailor Pluto has picked her nose 2,013,417 times. -- too ashamed to say [WHY THE SHAME THIS IS CORRECT AND NOW RIGHTFULLY CANON]

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (live action noms)

I fucking love questions like these for the huge net of answers that inevitably make me laugh out loud. Once again, narrowing it down was tough, but because I too must know what it means to suffer, I have done the impossible.

If your answer is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

---

Q: In the most hilariously vague way possible, describe a show you watched for the first time in this hell year.

* what if we took iron chef but we made it about swords --amity rose [I cannot stop thinking about how amazing this sounds. I have no idea what it is, but I approve of it.]

* Area coven of bi disaster vampires struggle to perform basic tasks. -- @crunchbuttsteak [I love this premise. Took me a few reads to get that this was probably What We Do In The Shadows, then it was even better.]

* Naïve optimism turns to murderous optimism! -- @docholligay [INSTANTLY IDENTIFIED AS “THE GREAT” AND THIS IS PURE PERFECTION]

* Two useless gays end up being thankful they were useless -- @goosebytrade @goosebytrade [Everything about this description tickled me.]

* It was a thing that happened in this place but then they fixed it, yay! --kari [Actual lol at “then they fixed it yay!” thank you.]

* Angry murder siblings lose dad. The Moon is a messy b*tch. Donuts. --Lady of various storms [I have no clue what this is, but I deeply enjoy these three elements strung together.]

* Murder teens!! Have you considered not joining a cult? -- @lookingforsarahjay [MURDER TEENS]

* Attempted Murder Misunderstood as Overtures of Friendship -- Nax [What a glorious premise.]

* Two men philosophize about death while drinking their friend's pee. -- patchedworklife [I laugh every single time I read this, I am seven.]

* Wagyu beef farm except it's kids -- Skirto [hahahahah what the fuck what are you people watching]

* the unfathomable power of Love that only lesbians can truly harness can't raise the dead but it CAN make the dead a little deader -- @thatpreciousthing [You need to tell me later what this actually is because this is amazing.]

* a dad goes on sidequests -- @anewconstellation [I think this is The Mandelorian, but whatever it is, this description is gold.]

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (non-anime animated noms)

This was SO. FUCKING. HARD. This question went so much better than I expected, and I’m only sad I lack the artistic skills to make it all a reality.

Below, my PAINSTAKINGLY selected top answers, If yours is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

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Q: The Senshi suddenly find themselves in a very different animated world. Which cartoon power (think Looney Tunes) do they each now possess?

* Usagi can make literal rainbows happen when she smiles. Rei can set anything on fire with her mind (she feels a bit cheated because she can do that at home too). Ami can write down anything in her special notebook and it literally changes reality around her (she does not share this with her fellow Senshi, because she knows the full weight of this power. She did, however, write Michiru having a bad hair day for just one day. Just one.) Makoto has the ability to pull out any ingredient she wants from any pantry/door/closet. She usually uses this for cooking purposes, so she won't have to purchase groceries. Minako has the ability to mimic any voice in the world, whether she has heard it or not. Hijinks ensue. The Outer Senshi sensibly escaped from the new animated world right after Michiru recovered from her bad hair day. They don't speak of the experience. -- @amberlilly [The whole thing was so solid, but what absolutely sent it over the top for me was Ami using her powers to fuck with Michiru in the most petty benign way, which is EVERYTHING.]

* Usagi is definitely rocking the exaggerated tear gushers. Ami can pull charts/diagrams out of nowhere at any time. Rei combusts when she gets sufficiently mad. Makoto has birds fly around when she sings while cooking or cleaning. Minako breaks the fourth wall to make jokes and asides to the audience. Chibi-Usa is somehow able to walk through ludicrous danger without getting touched, because the censors won't allow kids to be hurt in this show. Haruka can make girls melt into puddles of goo with her flirting. Michiru can summon a servant at any time to take care of an unpleasant or potentially dirty task for her (including to take the slapstick comedy for her). Setsuna has access to the script. Hotaru just sort of appears sometimes, just standing there, silently and menacingly, but never does anything on-screen (though you may hear the occasional off-screen screaming). Oh, and while I'd like to say Mamoru gains the power of inexplicable entrances... he kinda already has that one. --Darkcloud k'California [Again, I loved all these, but particularly Chibs saved by the censors, Michiru’s poor hapless slapstick avatar, and everything about Hotaru, thank you.]

* Usagi: The power to be found charming by every character she encounters and somehow escape all consequences and damage by simply remaining oblivious, a la Tweety Bird.

Rei: The power to explode, reducing her surroundings to charred wasteland, but remain relatively unscathed (perhaps a bit singed)

Ami: The power to grow multiple arms, hands, and hundreds of fingers in order to do tech stuff

Makoto: The power to punch someone through a brick wall, possibly several, and into someone's family dinner. It's always some surprised-looking family's private event. Often the same family.

Minako: the power to, Bugs Bunny style, apply lipstick and seduce ANYTHING. Which, according to her, is a power she already has.

Haruka: The power to run off a cliff and keep going until she looks down. She never learns to not look down.

Michiru: The power to stick a pin into any other character and cause them to deflate like a balloon

Hotaru: She just gets to actually be used. It is thrilling.

Pluto: She will observe this strange planet from afar with her huge telescope and breathe the Martian air and look great in a kilt and Roman-style helmet. -- @incorrecttact [Your set-up and punchline delivery style on all of these was perfection, and I legit lol’d at Mako and the poor family she continually interrupts.]

* to make dynamite go BOOM (Rei obviously); to have their opponent chase them to the point where they're floating in midair and then their opponent falls 5000 feet but they calmly walk back to land (like Wil E Coyote & the Roadrunner) (Usagi); the power to blow kisses to their opponent (which are clearly poisonous and end up killing the chap) (Minako); the power to have their opponent's entire arm shattered if they try to even punch them lightly on the arm (Makoto - this is canon anyways, but moreso exaggerated here hehe); to open a book and start reading it out loud and words start showing up on screen, confusing tf out of their opponent (Ami - also canon already) --@midnightdrops [Each of these were great, but Usagi and Mako as you described them totally sold me.]

* usagi: can now float on yummy aromas, so long as they lead her somewhere tasty! the others play a quick tournament of jun-ken-pon each time it happens to determine who will be responsible for steering her from blissfully drifting into traffic. again.

ami: is now possessed of x-ray vision! only she can neither turn it off, nor control its intensity. she is working on developing a set of goggles to dampen the effect, and secretly hopes they will make her look like geordi laforge.

rei: rei-chan is now blessed with the power of song! her heartfelt melodies soften the malice of even the most one-dimensional baddie, and influence public policy on a global scale. international success life, yo! i guess she's really a hard worker!

makoto: has become something of a cartoon cupid! in a poorly-ventilated room, her mere presence has bystanders declaring their love for one another within minutes*; and her decadent wedding cakes are the hit of second marriages across the country. *all of them so like her old senpai, and none of them falling for her, alas!

minako: employs her considerable powers of confidence and charm to convince the others she now has access to Plot Manipulation, mainly by engineering and taking ownership of a series of happy accidents. her real power is to literally jump out of her skin when she's startled*, and she has no intention of EVER letting the others know about it. *minako discovered this new ability while she was changing a roll of toilet paper, and a spider dropped onto her hand. the leader of the inner senshi had never been so horrified. her bones were so slick and cold, her skin a hideous unwiped pile, and then THE SPIDER CRAWLED INTO THE PILE and she STILL doesn't know if it ever got out and sometimes her skin itches REALLY bad and you know what let's stop talking about this right now okay???

setsuna: can now manifest a giant pencil and erase the enemy! but doing so would be breaking The Greatest Taboo, and leave her impaled upon the pencil.

haruka: her new empathetic ability is remarkably similar to Ma-Ti's "heart" ring (Captain Planet and the Planeteers, 1990 - 1996). basically, she's just like really soft at you, and it inspires you to take more positive actions toward yourself and the world at large? she protests about wishing she'd received something tough and intimidating, but secretly is very moved by being made an instrument of kindness.

michiru: her intuition has mutated into fourth wall awareness, and the subtlety with which she makes this known to you is SO GODDAMN UNCOMFORTABLE OH MY GOD

hotaru: can now not only communicate with inanimate objects, but also render them permanently animate! you should have been there during the princess tutu crossover episode when she met lamp-chan - they're STILL inseparable, and chibiusa is SUPER jealous. speaking of which,

chibiusa: can now use hammerspace to store her endless series of magical geegaws and weird animal boyfriends. -- @rasiqra-revulva [Dude, you have got to stop making me snort laugh, it’s RUDE. Pure solid gold, every word, with a special nod to Haruka, MICHIRU, and Minako’s extended tragic cartoon backstory.]

* Usagi - like her name suggests, she is now Bunny. By which I mean she is now a very pink and blonde bunny (somewhere between Bugs and Oswald the Lucky Rabbit), but with super-elastic limbs to accompany her new form. Ami - Magical Science Powers up to and including ‘mix one brightly colored liquid in flask with another brightly colored liquid in flask, explosion, get hammer.’ Rei - An infinite supply of dynamite she can pull out of nowhere. This shouldn’t be as useful as it is. Mako - Literally suplexed a giant metallic youma not just untransformed, but before she has Senshi powers at all. I fully believe she could lift an anvil in canon. Minako - While Usagi looks like a rabbit, Mina now has the supernatural trickster abilities of Bugs Bunny. Implausibly effective bad disguises, persuasion, showing up out of nowhere. Chibs - Now that gun from her first appearance is a real gun, but it shoots anything from normal bullets to pies in the face to live birds. Pluto - The fourth wall is a real and tangible thing. Pluto can not just break it, but control it. If she wants to remove a layer of cel or suddenly turn things into sketch, she can do it. If she wants to teleport, she can skip in the animation. If she wants to suddenly appear as a Roger Rabbit-style cartoon in a live action field, or vice versa? Yeah, she can do that too. She basically uses this power to warp the layers of her cartoonish reality for pastry acquisition. Haruka - You’d think it would be Roadrunner speed. Haruka thinks it will be Roadrunner speed. But no, it isn’t. Space Jam is Looney Tunes, and Haruka’s power is Basketball. Michiru - Another power that’s just canonical: Wealth. Ridiculous, tremendous wealth. Hotaru - The funniest thing for Hotaru to be in a zany cartoon world is Even More Spooky. Nothing changes except the artstyle and a ridiculous supervillain cape. -- Regalli [Pluto, man. Fantastic and brilliant and I legit WANT THIS. Also though, Hotaru with a cape.]

* Usagi gains the ability to eat anything and everything like the Tazmanian Devil, though she shares none of his aggressive personality; Minako enjoys fucking with people by bending reality (you know, diving into painted tunnels and stuff like that); Ami is able to utilize and test unreal technology without harm, like jet boots, massive bombs, tornado seeds, etc.; Mako uses body manipulations to change her size and shape--especially for blocking attacks to protect people or grabbing people (coupled with her immense strength); and Rei is the only one aware of the audience beyond the Fourth Wall... She tries not to talk to them but sometimes she just can't help it, especially when Usagi is getting on her nerves. -- @thehubby [I said pander to me, and you absolutely did. I can’t stop thinking about Rei trying not to make fourth wall eye contact, then just whirling around all “CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THIS SHIT??!?” and as it turns out, that IS precisely what I wanted.]

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (live action heat 1)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. Now, I present my favourites!

If your answer is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

—

Q: You are a showrunner ready to unleash your latest idea into the world: an original series starring yours truly and Doctor Holligay! Today is your meeting with Netflix. Pitch them your brilliant vision.

* A minor chaos avatar meets an unstoppable, pragmatic Jew. They must work together to solve a mystery, while running into all sorts of shenanigans. Both characters have consistent, supportive, loving partners who band together and help mitigate the damages/results of said shenanigans. They end up with an ensemble cast of wacky characters. -- @amberlilly [Oh I DO love a mystery duo, fund it! And with Mike and Jill too, our long suffering clean-up crew, poor things. MUST WATCH.]

* The Gay and the Restless -- Bitty [I NEED ONLY THE TITLE TO KNOW I WANT IT]

* The Women Who Did Everything: A documentary/reality style show, where Jet and Doc get set up to do various things, of any type: Taught to make macarons in France, Barrel racing in Montana, code cracking with a former operative, DDR championship in Tokyo, skydiving, speedboat racing, Drawing with a disney animator, Spartan competitions, etc and their successes and failures are shown, over and over again, as they go through their quests to Learn and Do everything. Plenty of opportunities for one or the other to fail, and at the end of every episode, there's a fireside chat/giving each other shit session about what they learned, how they did, and the audience vote on which was the "winner" -- @docholligay [I know you’ve got the advantage as half of this question, but fuck me, I DO WANT THIS.]

* Doc Holligay's Finishing School--who will break first, the sharp, confident Doc? Or her clumsiest student yet? A battle of wit, broken china, and self-inflicted wounds. People will be on the edge of their seats, wondering if Jet managed to finish a class, if she can pass it, and not sure if they're praying for her to win or just survive. -- @kumeko [This is it, this is the reality show we all deserve. Especially Holligay.]

* Trainers at rival magical girl academies. -- rain [OUR DIFFERING STYLES ALONE I LOVE THIS CONCEPT]

* I'm always a sucker for mixing entertainment with education. So what I propose is a competition show. Similar to a triathlon each part will have something Doc is good at, something Jet is good at, and something neither of you is good at. For the pilot episode, I propose the first part being setting up and using a blue-ray player, followed by baking challenge, with the challenge being an endurance of watch of Neon Genesis Evangelion. I call it "The Extreme Yuriathon" -- @shavedjudomonkey [The sleeper hit of the year, calling it now. SHE’LL BE SO FRUSTRATED BY THE BLU-RAY IT’LL BE GREAT]

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (anime heat 1)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. Now, I present my favourites!

If your answer is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

—

Q: If you could drop any of the Senshi into another anime, who would you put where, and what happens next?

* Just dropping Minako into Literally Any Anime and watch her try to fuck the hottest character(s) as chaotically as possible is always my idea of a good time. -- @commas-and-ampersands [Honestly, isn’t it a good time for all of us? Especially Minako.]

* Probably any of them (but most likely Minako or Michiru) into Revolutionary Girl Utena for SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER and SPOILER SPOILER Doc SPOILER SPOILER reasons -- @dancinginredshoes [FANTASTIC ANSWER THE DETAIL WAS DIVINE]

* Mako would do very well as a character in Sweetness and Lightning. Befriend Kotori and Tsumugi and help them cook but sometimes having to suddenly jump out for 'half hour tops, be back soon, keep the heat down, don't let it burn' and leave our heroes alone to cook. They'd manage and receive another victory in cooking and then Mako would join them again and praise them on how they did such a good job. Inuzuka-sensei would be convinced that her 'stepping out' is a tactic to let them gain confidence in cooking. Little does he know she's a genuine Magic Girl. If Tsumugi accidentally found out she'd be over the moon but easily bribed to keep quiet on this most important secret of a Magic Girl.-- Daphne of the Lustrous Waters [Mako in Sweetness & Lightning was a popular -- and very correct -- choice, but your attention to detail set this above and beyond. Too good, too pure.]

* I would absolutely put Haruka into the Ouran High School Host Club anime, and I will try to elaborate without undue spoilers. I would LOVE to see Haruka take those rich boys down a peg. As a gender nonconforming woman with a working class background who can A) navigate rich people nonsense via exposure through Michiru and B) take any of them in a fight (and I do mean ANY of them, Ouran fans, don't @me), Haruka would be a delightful addition. Watching Michiru or Rei would be a great second choice -- @goosebytrade [The sum total of my knowledge of this anime is the opening theme by PGSM Naru, and something about smashing a vase. Still, I found that I, too, wanted all of these things, thank you.]

* Hotaru is my baby and she deserves a better life, I want to scoop her up and put her somewhere that she can make FRIENDS HER OWN AGE who won't mind that she's a baby goth. I will send her to magic school in Little Witch Academia, where she will become a quiet girl with huge amounts of power that she doesn't like to use for anything other than healing (her absolute weakest attack knocks down walls, it gets worse from there) and everyone wants to be teammates with. The other option is shipping her off to Princess Tutu land, but while having Ahiru's friends dragging her around with them would make her less lonely, I'm not sure it would make her life *better*! She'd probably make a good ballerina though, if she didn't get magically turned into a luna moth. -- idleflower [A better life for Hotaru! I also want this for her. Also, Hotaru being a tiny ballet luna moth is inspired.]

* Jetty I love you and your bonus questions, but if I'm not mistaken you have not watched many anime which makes thinking of an answer to this that you will also fully understand a bit harder then you might think, that being said if Haruka was in Utena it would be very interesting. Haruka would very much like to be a prince like Utena, but I think she would have zero patience with Touga and his bulshit. With any of the men in the student concil's bulshit really -- Lott [I love all this, but laughed INTENSELY at your callout.]

* Haruka in Fushigi Yuugi. I desperately want to read more of that. -- @madegeeky [CORRECT AND ACCURATE WE ALL WANT AND DESERVE MORE OF THIS]

* I would love to see Rei in any generic popular shonen and see her wreck shit --Omni [nodding, tears in eyes]

* Haruka in Yuri on Ice. I just like the idea of her looking amazing and Right in a mens figure skating costume and then taking one step onto the ice and....well. --Skirto [Wonderful setup to the perfect conclusion, full marks.]

* I reach for the Senshi Displacer 3000, knobs winking in tandem with the soft purr of machinery. There are a hundred knobs, a thousand, a hundred thousand, there are knobs spilling out across the floor as I am momentarily overcome by the infinite amount of Senshi on a limitless plane of existence. I shake my head. No. I know who my pick is. She deserves this. The knobs retreat, leaving behind only one. Or was there ever only one? This universe is fickle like that; I don't think about it for too long. I reach for the softly glowing dark red button, but my hand is stopped with a gentle but firm chop from a gloved hand. Pluto looks at me sternly and shakes her head. She still feels duty-bound to the door, I get that, but still I plead. "Are you sure, Setsuna? Don't you want like, a tiny break? To hang out with a tiny adorable kitten?" She wavers a little. After all, Chi IS an adorable kitten looking for a Sweet Home. Eventually she shakes her head. She already knows one Cutest Kitten in the World, and she has her sacred duty to the kingdom. I sigh in understanding, defeated. Maybe I'll see how well that Gundam anime does with Rei at the helm... -- @rhiorhino [Glorious, start to finish. Loved the story, can’t wait for the sequel.]

—

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (non-anime animated final)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. If yours is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

This question may have inadvertently created my favourite solid block of answers. I wouldn’t have called that, and was DELIGHTED. Narrowing these down was so incredibly hard. You are all beautiful and I love you.

—

Q: What was one of my favourite songs in JEM? Points will be awarded for accuracy, OR making me laugh, so if you don't know any JEM songs (or Misfits or Singers, of course!), DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU.

* The Limp Lizards launched a shockingly popular remake of their 1 (one) famous song, and it is literally just an ASMR soundtrack of glass breaking. That's it. And yet, their renewed royalties have set them up comfortably in the 2000s. -- @amberlilly [I hoped in my heart of hearts that someone would say The Limp Lizards, and then you did, BUT DID IT MORE, Lilly you are the hero we need in these dark times.]

* If one of your favorite songs wasn't Takin' It All, then I just don't know you. @ayu-ohseki [I DO LOVE THAT ONE YOU GOT ME]

* Bad Influence? I don't know, the Romeo and Juliet tale but instead of people getting stabbed/poisoned, you have of a bunch of people hijacking YOUR stage performance to sing about how much you and your friend suck. It seems really appealing. -- Don Jose [I’m not sure I ever quite phrased it that way to my myself, BUT YOU RIGHT.]

* Designing Women. It's an incredible bop that features the Misfits trashing a store and then buying everything. All just to spite one of the protags. -- Eddy [I DO IN FACT REALLY LOVE THIS ONE. Oh, Misfits, you’re so ridiculous and poorly socialized.]

* "Come on in the Water's Fine" because when I looked at song titles, I imagined Michiru saying this to Ami to bully her into the pool to race her again bc Ami seems like the kind of girl to her who would need such kind things said to entice her. But additionally, when it started up for some reason it made me think about "Holiday" by Madonna which boy, talk about nostalgia for me. Also also when the dude in the video first shows up, I thought the striped part of his shirt was the only part of his shirt and the peach flesh colored part of his shirt was just his torso and therefore that he was wearing the most hideous crop top that ended just above his nipples because that would be QUITE the fashion statement. Also mermaids rock okay -- Furi [There isn’t a word out of place in this entire answer, but also it made me really want you to have to do a blind reaction series on JEM song videos.]

* "Be Gay, Do Crimes, Rio Sucks" obviously a Misfits song, preaching only truth -- @incorrecttact [Bless you, friend]

* I Snort Glitter Everyday -- Jillwalker [ACTUAL LOL, this was clearly from one of Kimber’s 1938577 rebellious phases this week.]

* That one, in episode 47 I think? about rats being good for your skin? Wouldn't expect it to be so catchy just looking at the lyrics (I mean really, "Put 'em in soap, that's the peak, all squeaky clean, makes the boys' knees weak"? Who greenlit that?) but I haven't been able to go two months without it lodging itself in my brain for *years* -- @kariachi [just *chef’s kiss*]

* Glitter and Gold, because it's such a gigantic "WE HAVE NEW DOLLS TO MARKET!" advertising tie-in that I can't help but enjoy how shameless it is. GLITTER AND GOLD! GLITTER AND GOLD! HERE COMES GLITTER AND GOLD, IN STORES NOW! (Also truly outrageous I guess, but GLITTER AND GOLD!) -- Peter Svensson [IT’S TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT. It’s so fucking brazen, I love it.]

* Jemmicle Songs for Jemmicle Cats! @sirblackaxe [Bravo. BRA. VO.]

* "alone Again" for the sole reason I want you to go "wtf song was this again?" and have to look up this nightmare fever dream of an episode -- shoujo screamer [HA JOKE’S ON YOU FRIEND I DON’T HAVE TO LOOK IT UP I ALREADY KNOW THE SONG AND THE EXACT EPISODE IT CAME FROM SO TAKE THAT I AM VERY COOL]

—

AND THAT’S ALL THE BONUS QUESTION ANSWERS. Thank you all so much for playing along with me. I’ll be pulling for the winner (winners? THAT’S UP TO YOU) this Thursday the 14th! The winner(s) will have 24 hours to let me know what I’ll be doing, and we’ll have that liveblog(s) on the last day of THE GIFTENING, Tuesday the 19th.

THANK YOU AGAIN YOU’RE ALL TOO GOOD IT’S DISGUSTING

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (live action heat 2)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. Now, I present my favourites, but pity me, because it was SO HARD.

If your answer is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

—

Q: What is your favourite Least Known And Probably True No Really I Swear Jet Wolf Fact?

* Once ate a sweater in a blind rage between chapters of the manga -- Achi [TRUE, except it wasn’t just one]

* Jet Wolf is Neither A Rock Nor An Island -- @amberlilly [YES EXACTLY DON’T LISTEN TO THE LIARS]

* Jet wolf's liveblogs average both .05 scenes per minute but at 1000X the words per scene. With roughly 75.5% of those words being in the hashtags alone. (And we wouldn't have it any other way.) -- forgottenfae [I haven’t done the math, but that sounds about right!]

* The trigger word for her agent activation is "McElroys" -- Holligay [HAHA I HATE YOU GO TO HELL]

* Jet Wolf's is a secret agent, fighting against a netherverse's plot to take over the world via toilets. She secretly saved Doc's life that night, but no one will remember it as anything but just a drunken toilet punching. -- @kumeko [THANK YOU FOR RECOGNIZING MY TRUE HEROISM THAT NIGHT]

* [redacted] -- lott [I didn’t post what you said because it was too sweet and I got all, like, with feelings and shit and it was gross]

* Jet Wolf knits to grind for DEX increases, eventually this will give her perfect balance and the ability to pick pockets -- Nax [Any day now! Come to me, sweet stat increase!]

* Despite the obvious answer, her fursona is actually a purple plush cat -- Revieloutionne [Everything about this is wrong in every possible way, amazing.]

* Jet Wolf is actually six tiny Jet Wolfs in a trenchcoat. When released they will chant 'Usagi loves Rei Usagi love Rei loves...' to infinity until gathered again. -- @somebitofeverything [Do not underestimate the might of the Six Tiny Jet Wolfs]

* Jet Wolf contains trace amounts of asbestos. If you have been exposed to Jet Wolf and have been diagnosed with mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation. @thatpreciousthing [I laughed at this when it came in, and I still laugh every single time I see it, thank you.]

—

I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (which will be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! AS WE SEE I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (anime noms)

You guys killed it, but I whittled it down to my top faves (I HAVE TO MAKE TOUGH CHOICES TOO), here in no particular order. If yours is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

Q: Hey! Look over there! It's Jet Wolf as a magical girl! Describe my attack and standard issue magical girl mascot.

* Attack is High Velocity Spherical Attack! Wherein you chuck a ball of energy about the size of a tennis ball at your enemies at deadly speed. Sorry not sorry to be unoriginal in that Hot Pocket is your magical girl mascot but only when he's possessed by your own personal trickster chaos god. It's a friendly possession as HP can have him speak for him at times so he just randomly says shit like, "This monster must be defeated under a full moon and seriously where did you hide the flour I will clean myself quite thoroughly after I've had my play it's not a big deal." -- @thoughtfulfuri [Combining my personal trickster chaos god AND Hot Pocket, my god woman, are you trying to get me murdered?? The flour-based rant at the end utterly sealed this for me, it’s awful, I love it.]

* You have supersonic screams and your partner is a goat. The goat's name is Vanessa and she carries you to all the battles since she can fly and swim. --Don Jose [This is so random and I fucking cackled. No explanations for Vanessa. NONE ARE NEEDED.]

* One Minute Rei Hino: For the duration of one (yuri) minute, Jet will bombard the villain with all sorts of Rei Hino facts. If the villain hasn't converted to a Rei Hino fan by the end of it, she will detransform into Clumsy!Jet, who will still spout Rei Hino facts, but only between cursing as she stubs her toes. Doc keeps the timer for this one minute. Magical Girl Mascot: Kyuubey, as proof that your trickster god does (not) love you! --@kumeko [I should be angry at the Clumsy!Jet power down, but it’s too legit. As is Holligay just THERE for SOME REASON timing me.]

* "It's a monster, get it," the oversized plush ball said, cigarette hanging from its mouth. Somehow, even though it was just an orb with no body language at its command, it gave off a vibe of being completely bored. "Hurry, or someone'll die."

Jet didn't bother to reply. The monster attack had interrupted her Rei Hino Minute, and her focus was solely on interrupting its day. Passion welled within her. "BURNING," she shouted, "WORDS META!"

Slowly at first, but quickly becoming faster, a cyclone of text spun out from her hands. As it sped up, sparks appeared, then exploded into flame. The blazing essay surrounded the monster and collapsed on top of it. Silence, then eventually a confused mutter could be heard. "...gi loves Rei... hates holligay the blog... glorious assholes..." At last, the mutter gave out, and the mountain of text disappeared in a flash of light, taking the monster with it.

The orb didn't even watch. "Good job," it said. "See you tomorrow." And with a scream it too disappeared. --@katrani [I’M A SLUT FOR THE NARRATIVE. Just this ball so utterly done with life though, thank you, it’s beautiful.]

* Your mascot is a baby giraffe, because you need something that will help you feel graceful by comparison. To incite you to attack, your baby giraffe mascot will whisper in your ear of the enemy "they said Rei Hino is really annoying and the Rei-Mamoru-Usagi triangle is the best plot ever. Also, they think Rei and Jadeite were meant for each other." You will then WORD at the offender, who is so overwhelmed by the sheer passion and verbosity that they turn themselves in. --@incorrecttact [I AM SO INSULTED BY SO MUCH OF THIS THE BABY GIRAFFE THE ENEMY SURRENDERING RATHER THAN LISTEN TO MORE OF MY BULLSHIT ALL OF THIS IS SLANDER I LAUGHED SO HARD HOW DARE YOU]

* 1) your ultimate power move is manifesting a video editing suite and either transforming the MOTW into a friendly plant, or corrupting a mini-boss out of existence as their dwindling screams take us to the credits. pretty fucked up, dude. 2) your mascot is Doc, and she's as furious about it as you are. -- @rasiqra-revulva [All of this, the ideas, the phrasing, the commentary, perfection, THANK YOU.]

Edited to add: I SHAMELESSLY STOLE THIS FROM HOLLIGAY THERE GO THE GOYIM AGAIN CULTURALLY APPROPRIATING FROM THE JEWS AND PRETENDING IT WAS THEIR IDEA THE WHOLE TIME

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (live action heat 3)

—

Q: Describe the best game you played in this hellyear, using as little context as possible.

* I will kill without discrimination and be exposed because I looked at someone wrong. -- @somebitofeverything [I don’t know which game this is, but I enjoy how this crime above all others was your downfall.]

* Deserted island with animals... but they're friends, NOT FOOD. -- ftrbestseller [A++ Animal Crossing description, brilliant.]

* Local teen plays gacha for sword friends and to fight god. -- Hazeltwilight [If there’s a better reason to play gacha games, I can’t think of it.]

* WE HAVE OSTRICHES NOW!!! -- @kariachi [I know neither the game nor the context, but I love your enthusiasm!]

* oh shit the cow needs cheese, or we can't get on the boat. -- lookingforsarahjay [I don’t know if this is an old school Sierra-type game, but it’s what came to mind, and delighted me.]

* British Fish plug their podcast during the most inopportune moments. Mysterious juices are involved. Do we really need banana patterned dresses? -- Octa [Yes? I think? THE FUCK GAME IS THIS]

* Mad Scottish child uses pet frog to attack wild life, befriends fairy companion to save world. -- Sammy [I want a furious Scottish youth to just fling their frog at enemies while shouting in a thick brogue. If this is not actually in the game, never tell me.]

* Sexy anime robots have ongoing existential crisises with sole intent to give you the player one as well. -- Shoujo screamer [I don’t know this game, but I do know I laughed.]

* Twenty something son of divorced couple has a really hard time getting out of his dad’s place to go see his mom. -- Wren [There were a bunch for Hades, understandably, but this was definitely my favourite.]

—

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (anime final)

—

Q: As we close out this year and enter the next, we could all use an inspiring speech. Give us your best, in anime protagonist form!

* My name is 2020. I'm nearly 1 year old, and a bit of a disaster. I enjoy dumpster fires and pandemics, quarantine and political conspiracy theories. I sometimes hoard toilet paper and enjoy making people realize that "it can always get worse." It's nearly time for me to pass the baton over to my sibling, 2021. Please care for them as you have cared for me. -- @amberlilly [This speech is pitch perfect, and this answer alone makes me so glad I asked the question.]

* *staring 2021 down like Makoto Fucking Kino* Don't fuck with us! -- gatorsandglitter [THE ONLY SPEECH WE NEED]

* *I am unable to make a speech as it has been pointed out that my shoes are on the table and I am too filled with embarrassment to even introduce myself* -- @incorrecttact [Thank you for invoking this scene at the exact correct moment.]

* 2020 may have sucked but look at it this way. We all survived, and proved that we could adapt and overcome the obstacles in our life. We didn't make the world a perfect place, nobody can do that. But I like to think we all learned a bit more about ourselves and what we can do, and that we are stronger than we thought. That we could overcome things that we thought would be the end of us. So many people thought that the world would end, but we're still here, and I like to think that it means something. What it means I don't know, I think that's something everybody has to figure out for themselves. But personally I like to think that it means that at the end of the day we're going to be okay. -- Kriss Watches Stuff [You’ve perfectly threaded the needle of anime sincerity. I wasn’t sure it could be done, but you did it, and KUDOS.]

* The wind blows coldly. Alone, we can not stand the fierce winter. But united, together, there is no storm, no weather, nothing that can stop us! Shining in the heaven are five shooting stars, like our five hearts that beat as one! United, we are going to survive 2021! In the name of the moon, it's showtime Synergy! -- Peter Svensson [Loved it all, but the conclusion cinched it, amazing.]

* ah, geez... *floral somersault* it is-- *oceanic pirouette* --what it is. *backflip into an explosion of glitter and farting* @rasiqra-revulva [TRULY I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE INSPIRED THAN I AM IN THIS MOMENT BATHED IN A CLOUD OF GLITTER FARTS]

* Impressive that you've managed to survive this far, but the decade is only getting started! Let's see if you can keep up with my next form! Hyaaaahhh! -- @sirblackaxe [Actual lol, everything I could have possibly wanted.]

* I know this year sucked, but we went through this together! You're not alone! -Punch of friendship to the face- Don't think you're the only one who's gone through some crappy times! We're gonna pull through and make it, we just gotta help each other! -Helping hand to pull my new friend up from the ground after that punch, with a good natured grin- Ya jerk. -- @yunyin [YOU ANIME’D THE SHIT OUT OF THIS WELL DONE FRIEND WELL DONE]

—

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (non-anime animated heat 3)

—

Q: Come with me to a strange and beautiful world where we have an Overwatch animated series, but with Sailor Moon style elements. Let me hear an Overwatch character's speech, delivered Usagi-style. ("I am the champion love and justice, in the name of the moon, etc. etc." YOU GET ME)

* Literally any character because I don't know who any of them are: "I am the champion of watching the over. How dare you do the thing! With the evil thing! That is definitely from our game. In the name of Esports I'll punish you." -- forgottenfae [I laughed, and then considered how this doesn’t sound too far off from something a couple of the character might actually say, so you did a good job, too, however unintentionally!]

* Under the authority of Overwatch, I, Fareeha Amari, Callsign Pharah, demand you halt and desist this baseless attempt at injustice. Surrender and face your dues! -- @thoughtfulfuri [I sincerely love this and your character voice.]

* "Champion of justice, and love, and honesty and fair dealing, and also of the neighborhood pub getting squeezed out by the 'igh cost of letting in the city, right, and also the proper diversity of London, crossroads of the world, innit?" "That would be the MIddle East." Pharah looked over at her "Specifically Turkey" "Who asked you? I'm giving the speech 'ere!" "London, crossroads of the world, isn't it? and I quote." "Fareeha, it's not a bloody question, it's a sort of...self-referential...thing." She huffed and put her hands on her hips. "Someday, love, I'll teach you proper English, I will." "I have despaired of teaching you English at all." "Oh, but aren't you 'ilarious, now, love?" "Um..." The omnic stood there awkwardly, "Are we going to--" Tracer whipped around. "Of course we're going to fight, just give us a bloody second, right?" She turned back to Pharah, "See, it's like that, I'm not ASKING FOR CONFIRMATION--Fareeha, love, don't try to tell me they don't 'ave bloody colloquialisms in Arabic, 'eard you get mocked for being Egyptian." "Oh, as if you know anything about Arabic," she chuckled, "love." "Knock you right off the bloody pavement, I will." The omnic took a seat. -- @docholligay [You are attempting to pander to me with Pharah and Tracer sniping at each other, and am I forced to admit it is, in fact, that easy.]

* For healing and justice, an angel with golden wings, Mercy! Repent, and find peace! (the writers wanted her to say a blessing in Hebrew, but the Network (TM) refused to allow it. Could she at least use the word shalom? No. No, she could not. The masses would be confused. But LOTS of people think they know what shalom means! Nope, sorry. Also, you must use the word "repent," it is essential. So, repent and find peace it was. Sigh) -- @incorrecttact [Came for the speech, stayed for the speech commentary.]

* “I am the architect of order. From chaos, I bring unity - by light and reason, you will be brought to line!” (The episode where she /can’t/ say this, and recognizes the hollowness of it, is regarded as the highlight of Season Three’s long overdue Symmetra arc) -- Lou [I don’t play with Symmetra much, but I know a good speech when I hear it.]

* "Once lost in time (though that was a bit of a traumatic event, don't know why I'm havin' to include it here for every Jack n' Sally t'hear about), now guided by me own self (an' good ol Win, though Fareeha would insist she's the real guide 'round here), Tracer, champion o' justice - can I say that? Thought justice was kinda Fareeha's thing, don't tell her I borrowed it - cheers, love, the cavalry's here!" -- Mouse, champion of doodles and fluff!! [It’s rambly and everything I could have wanted.]

* “A challenger approaches! Protector of a new era, the Shield of Busan! I am D.va! Get ready for the lightshow.” -- Regalli [Another legit excellent speech, WELL DONE SOLDIER]

* "Powered by precision German engineering and a love of Hasselhoff, my hammer swings for JUSTICE! In the name of Reinhardt, I'll SHATTER YOU!" -- Ultrace [The purest German shout-out.]

—

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (miscellaneous heat 2)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. Now, I present my favourites, but pity me, because it was SO HARD.

If your answer is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

—

Q: You and I are at karaoke together. (Don't ask how this happened, just roll with it.) I'm going up next, but you're picking my song. What do you have me sing? How do I do?

* Bonnie Tyler's hit Total Eclipse of the Heart, because I'm gay and that's a good karaoke song right (IDK I'VE NEVER DONE KARAOKE). it's the first song of the night and you're like, "why do I have to go first?? THIS ISN'T ABOUT REI HINO" but I insist it's a GOOD SONG, JET, and then you're like "WAIT HOW OLD IS THIS SONG NOW STOP MAKING ME THINK ABOUT HOW TIME PASSES AND WE ALL GET OLDER BUT SPECIFICALLY ME" and by then the song is over so you never actually have to sing, which you probably consider a win despite the unfair reminder that 1983 was now 37 years ago. (SORRY.) -- Mouse, but just call me BRIIIIIGHT EYYYEEES 👉😎👉 [REI HINO GLARE]

* My Dragon Pal and Me, from Galavant. It is the most heartfelt and enthusiastic rendition anyone has ever heard -- @pouncequick [Truthfully the most correct answer]

* As you have had some tasty beverages on this outing, I select 'Informer' by Snow because: 1 - You will be epic. 2 - I'm designated Driver so I can not be immediately killed and have time to plan my escape. -- @shonasof [hahahha jesus wept, you earned your entry, what a fucking choice I could not have seen coming]

* PAT BENATAR - INVINCIBLE, AND YOU POUR YOUR HEART INTO IT, WHAT ELSE MATTERS? -- @thatpreciousthing [I DO LOVE PAT BENATAR IT’S TRUE]

* i will have you sing I believe in a thing called Love by The Darkness. Because it's a silly song with bullshit falsetto and as expected you can't hit the high notes so you just say screw it after the first attempt and start doing the whole song like an octave lower so you're practically growling the not falsetto parts. it's a riot everyone in the karaoke room is cracking up -- Vega [It IS a fun silly song, and the idea of finding my way to a growly death metal version is glorious.]

—

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keyofjetwolf · 3 years

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Bonus Question Answers! (non-anime animated heat 2)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. Now, I present my favourites!

If your answer is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

—

Q: Mina and Hot Pocket have a brand new animated series in development. You're looking to join the team as a writer. Pitch me an episode!

* Hot Pocket hustles Mina at competitive Hide and Go Seek. Mina does not understand how you keep finding her first. Can't be a combination of excited tail wags at the sight of you and not being able to slither into the dark abyss -- @goosebytrade [Sold on the concept, super sold on the truth that Mina would always be found and never understand how.]

* Mina and Hot Pocket pull a mystery science theater of watching you watch -- Sailor MoonHecate [No lie, I want to hear this VERY MUCH.]

* The show is done in film noir style, in black and white, and follows Hot Pocket through his day as he comments on the meaninglessness of existence, regularly quoting Chekov, Beckett, and Nietzsche as he watches his humans go about their days of impenetrable confusion. Mina is the only character in color, bounding onto screen and bringing joy, countering HP's nihilism with absurdism and chew toys. HP, watching a bird, attempts to pounce at it, but it flies away: *deep sigh* I can't go on Mina, bouncing into view, bumps into HP and scampers off: Yes! Go on! You're IT! HP: Argument is meaningless *chases after, mock ferocity ensues* -- @incorrecttact [Hot Pocket: Philospher, is in fact the animated series we need.]

* "Mother is the root of the problem, my good Mina." Howard H Pocket, Esq, PhD, sat above her on the dining room table, gazing down, Mina's tail wagging, tongue thirsty for slorps. "And we shall conquer." "I love Mommy!" Mina bounced excitedly. "Yes, yes, 'Mommy' loves you too, and that is why, my darling sister, we shall send you in as the decoy." Conscious of the tongue, but also a certain personal need for drama, he leaned a bit toward her. "It's the perfect crime. You do, I assume, want a biscuit?" "Oh, I love biscuits!" "I thought as much," he stood up, stretched, and padded down to the dining room chair, "Now, listen carefully. What we need to do is--Ah!! Ahh!! Mina!!!" Her tongue found his face and he batted at her with his sinful paws, a scowl resting on his brow. "I love you Hot Pocket!" "It's Howard H.--MINA NOT AGAIN" -- JEWSSSSSSSSSSS [Okay so if I use my next ‘fic commission for 2000 words of Hot Pocket and Mina shenanigans, know you did this to yourself.]

* Finding My Henshin: The Dog Must Sparkle! Hot Pocket emerges from a cabinet covered in bits of flour. To the humans, he looks like trouble: to Mina, he looks like a star field. Being named after a magical girl, she knows what’s happening: he’s going out to transform and fight evil, and she /must/ be a part of it. The only question: what will her transformation sequence look like, and /how/ can she activate it? After a day of running in circles, trying to see if a squirrel is her magical companion, and testing every Magical Stick in the backyard, she’s almost ready to admit defeat. Will Mina realize that she’s magical just the way she is? -- Lou [OH NO THE CUTE DROP LINE. I don’t think I’d have thought of Mina searching for her path to being a Magical Pup, and that is clearly a failing on my part.]

* To be clear, the show's overall structure is one of charm and competition, with each episode geared toward a different task/battle. The animation is a combo of rotoscope and 90s era Nickelodeon style animated interludes (think bright and wiggly).The goal: to crown either Mina or Hot Pocket as Jetty's Best Buddy by season's end! My episode would be "Nap Battle!" Incorporating time-lapse video and highlight segments, the two fuzzbutts will be tasked with earning the title of Nap Champion (complete with the Pillow Crown). They'll face a number of challenges such as withstanding the distraction of forbidden toys and people food; as well as being presented with obstacle courses in which to choose the ideal nap spot. Points awarded for: overall time spent napping; longest individual nap session; number of positions; silliness of positions; snores and squeaks; and the coveted DOUBLE NAP CUDDLEBOMB - an act so cute all production is ceased until the crew can quell their paroxysms of delight. So like, three hours maybe? -- @rasiqra-revulva [AT LEAST. The descriptions were too good, I know legit loss in my soul that I will not see it.]

* Hot Pocket cons Mina into helping him pilfer the flour. "You will be told you are a good girl," he informs her. "I'M IN," Mina barks, tail wagging at mach speed. Together, they attempt to break the locks on the cupboards where the flour may be found, but oh no! They don't have thumbs!! They've just about managed to figure out a workaround when their human Jet catches them and CHANGES THE LOCATION OF THE FLOUR. This happens several more times. Hot Pocket and Mina's attempts to free the flour become increasing zanier and more desperate. At last, finally, finally, FINALLY, Hot Pocket acquires the bag of that delicious white powder he so craves, and tips it over into his open, waiting mouth...!

It's baby powder for the Jewlet. Hot Pocket's howls of rage can be heard on the other side of the planet. -- @ayu-ohseki [TAKE THAT NAUGHTY LITTLE VOID MAN]

* Mina spends the episode looking for Hot Pocket, who keeps moving from place to place off-camera in search of the perfect warm sleeping spot. Just as Mina is about to pry open the lid of a cardboard box Hot Pocket is napping in, so close to victory, she hears the car of Jill, and takes off instead. -- @thehubby [Mina as Hot Pocket’s own personal chaos god is, as it turns out, exactly what I wanted.]

---

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