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mphountitled · 6 months

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𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐬 | 𝐋.𝐉𝐡

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❝ 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠 ❞

✧ Genre: Smut (M)

✧ Pairing: Lee Jihoon x Fem!Reader

✧ Summary: “Did you bring me into the studio as your engineer or your whore?” He nods his head playfully jutting his bottom lip out as if he's pondering something vastly philosophical. “It can't be both?”

✧ Warnings: Language, Established Relationship, Possessiveness, Jealousy, Bratty Reader, Weaponizing!Wonwoo, Fluff, Workaholics in Love, Teasing, Producer!Jihoon, Musical Engineer!Reader, Smut (+18), Daddy Kink, Neediness, Dom/sub dynamic, Coercion, Brat tamer!Jihoon, Dom!Jihoon, Degradation Kink, Praise Kink, Oral Sex (Male rec), Orgasm Denial, Breeding Kink

✧ Word Count: 3.9k

✧ Playlist when writing: Here

A/n: I love my boyfriend- I mean my bias.

Perhaps it was your fault. You should have known something was amiss the very moment Jihoon called you in the middle of your recording session with another artist. Your eyebrows furrowed when you picked up the phone, and you lifted one finger, signaling a quick recess to Wonwoo, who nodded calmly.

This was particularly uncanny because Jihoon never bothered you during work hours, and, in equal regard, you refused to bother him.

Out of respect for the craft, he refused to break you out of that very delicate mindset that he, as a creative, understood the significance of. Washington could be burning, and he still wouldn't dare interrupt you during work time. This somewhat sacred convenant was forged as a means to protect your relationship from your work personas. You did not particularly enjoy who Jihoon was when he assumed the sacremental identity of 'Woozi' and heavens knows you were equally as intolerable when you were stationed in front of a soundboard. You were both tyrants in your everyday lives, and even now, Wonwoo seems marginally relieved to have caught some semblance of a break as you huddle into the short corridor outside the studio.

So with a very perturbed but slightly worried voice, you swiped on the answer button and enquired, “Is everything okay?”

“No,” comes his instant reply. The knot between your brows have yet to unweave as you rest your back against a wall. Jihoon was by no means the most cheerful individual you had ever met, in fact, you prided yourself greatly on being the very few sources of genuine cacophony and laughter in his life. Seungkwan, of course, was your most fierce competitor.

Still, there is something grave in Jihoon's voice. It is a veneer of seriousness that is strange even for him. You had been able to gauge this sense of wabing patience in his tone just from one fickle like little word. 5 years in a vaguely conjugal relationship with a person would do that to you.

“I think I finally got the entire verse written.” Jihoon is surprised to find the lie tumbling so smoothly past the gates of his teeth, especially because he's normally so shit at lying. What was the point? When the person you were lying to had all your mannerisms memorized as if they were living in your body with you.

He taps his finger idly along the yellow notepad seated on his bouncing, restless knee. "We should record it now,”

You shake your head in complete discombobulation as you brought a finger to your lips in contemplation, "Why would you need my help? I thought you were working with another engineer."

His teeth grate irritably against each other, and he rolls his eyes in a flamboyant display of vexation as he exclaims, "Are you really in the mood to fish for compliments right now?" He asks tersely, "I should not need to tell you that you're my most trusted engineer,"

No matter how stoic your work persona was, she was not immune to flattery. The smile cracks the crevices of confusion along your visage, and Jihoon can almost feel the pleasure at his praise oozing through the phone.

"Now, if you'll please join me-"

“Can't." You respond. No matter how vulnerable you were to Jihoon's praises, you still remained fiercely loyal to your job. "I've got 20 more minutes in this session and after that I have to be at a meeting with the label, and I still have to go pick up that bouquet of flowers for our neighbor- you remember her cat passed on?"

"Just tell Wonwoo you have an emergency," Jihoon's reply has your eyes narrowing in skepticism. Not only was Jihoon fiercely independent, but he very rarely indulged you in his clingy side. Up until this very moment, you even doubted whether that side existed at all. "Cancel the meeting," he nods slowly, "And fuck the flowers, we hated that vermin anyway. Remember when her cat pissed in your peonies?" Jihoon ran his hand through his hair as he nodded with finality, "Fuck the flowers."

A sort of realization dawned within you, and you fought valiantly to keep the tone of self-righteousness out of your voice as you responded, “You're hijacking me from another artist.”

His hiss is instant and laced with venom, “Be glad I even allow you to work with another artist,”

Jihoon did not mean to slip up so badly, but he was also a man that would very rarely say anything that he did not actually mean.

“I don't like sharing,” he croons quietly over the line, “You know this.”

And so he let his words hang stagnantly in the air between you two, drying like wet, white linen in the wind. He pauses as if guaging your response to his raw words. Jihoon enjoyed doing this. He enjoyed giving you vague tidbits of what state of mind he found himself in without actually divulging his every thought. The ball was figuratively in your court, and he wished to see how you might respond.

Your throat clears your throat momentarily, letting your brain run rampant with myriad schemes. It was not very often that you would have the upper hand in your relationship. Dating someone like Jihoon, someone so comfortable being in control meant you constantly forfeited whatever power you had in your work life. Jihoon teased you. It was never the other way around.

"How badly do you want me there?"

"How badly do you want me to let you cum the next time I eat you out?" His voice is dripping with the weight of his threat and normally, you would find yourself quickly pushing yourself back into submission, but not this time. This time he needed you.

You are very secured in the realization that whatever reason Jihoon wanted you in the studio for - it was certainly not to record. There is a dangerous pool of excitement rushing through the conduit of your veins. He swears he can hear the titillating smile that blossomed across your face while you play idly with the Swarovski rock resting along your sternum. A gift from Jihoon. One of many.

“I don't know, Jihoon... What're you going to do for me in return? It's only fair that I'm adequately compensated for leaving a session."

"I'll let you cum tonight, I've already told you."

Jihoon is sitting reclined on his leather couch, his narrowed eyes piercing the wide soundboard directly in front of him. An egregious amount's worth of equipment sitting idly and completely untouched while his notepad sits on his lap, teasing him with its blankness.

Before he made the uncharacteristic choice to call you, Jihoon had been scrolling idly through his phone, in search of some bit of inspiration. He found himself opening his photos app, scrolling through his pictures that were filled mostly of you. Selfies you took with your face pressed against his unimpressed one. Mirror selfies showcasing what outfit you decided to wear, per his request and something else. Something he had forgotten he even had saved in his camera roll until the video was already rolling. At first glance, the scene was borderline animalistic. Jihoon's pale hand pressed down your arched back, while a steady hand recordinb you from above.

"That's a good girl-" he heard his own voice resonate through the speakers. It was like he was forced to meet his alter ego. A completey uncomfortable and fucking meta experience, especially because he was in the quiet of his studio.

Jihoon looked around his quiet studio, sensing no other infiltrating presence before he let his gaze fall back down onto the video. A deep shade of read crawled up his neck as he watched himself fuck you absolutely stupid from behind. You were both caught in a throws of your pleasure and incoherent words were thrown out in stuttering intervals.

"Fuck-Hoonie, I'm so close-"

"You're gonna cum for me, baby? You gonna let daddy cum in that pretty fucking pussy? You gonna let me breed you-"

"F-Fuck, Daddy- I'm," Jihoon heard himself swear in the speakers, and the video went wobbly before it came to a cataclysmic end. It was taken a week ago, when you both sat down to watch a movie. Needless to say, no movie had been watched because you were abundantly touchy, and Woozi decided to let you be.

Even though the video came to an end, he could not peel his eyes away from the screen. He watched it one final time before he searched for your name in the call logs and dialed.

His mind was empty, but his capacity for lust was never-ending.

Now not only was he combatting brutal inspirational drought, but he was nursing a semi erect cock that made him so fucking uncomfortable.

He did not need this shit from you right now.

"Are you sure threatening me with an orgasm denial is the way you wanna go right now, Hoonie?" He hated the self-interested smirk in your voice.

“This is not the time to be a fucking brat,” he hisses, perhaps unintentionally on the line. “Just get here,”

But the teasing lilt has yet to disappear as you chide, “Not a particularly ethical way to address your one and only trusted engineer, is it?” You asked sweetly, voice dripping with the amount of honey it would take to fill a honey farm, “At least Wonwoo respects my work,”

He laughs humorlessly before rolling his eyes. “You talk a lot of shit for someone already making their way over here.” And unfortunately, you were. You had shot Wonwoo a very heartfelt apology during your sparring verbiage with Jihoon while still gathering your belongings to make a break for his studio. You became so unnaturally predictable in his presence, like a lonely mould of clay, glistening and ready to be shaped into anything of his choosing.

Right now, his biggest obstacle is the very vexing fact that once you made it into his studio, you drifted in with your nose stuck in the air and the expectation that he is to actually put in work. Woozi greets you at the door, eyes shamelessly taking you in from head to toe while you refuse to do the same. A pastel baby tee clings to your chest like a second skin while the ends of a small mini skirt combat the summer heat.

“It's freezing in here,” you remarked while Woozi ogled you unashamedly.

“Don't fuck with my thermostat,” he says dismissively before pulling you into an indulgent hug. “I like it cold,” and his arms travel under yours, pressing your softness flush against his front. His face buries itself in between your neck and shoulder, feeling his restless limbs finally be coaxed into some sense of satisfaction. His nose brushes against your cheek, essentially nuzzling himself against you in a vaguely primal gesture and he sighs.

“Fuck, you're so soft.” His hand rubs slow circles on your lower back. Circles that gradually increase in size. Woozi snickers quietly against your skin. Big mistake.

He definitely thought he was slick.

Before the palm of his hand could skim over the soft mound of your ass you break away quickly. Your smile is professional, almost vexingly robotic as you swing past him. Your braided ponytail swinging behind you as you make your way to bring a second leather chair beside his own at the soundboard.

“I'm here,” you said, “Time to work,”

Jihoon stands idly for a while. With his hands on his hips, his tongue stabs at the corner of his mouth, “You really are on a mission to piss me off today, aren't you?”

You ignore him, choosing instead to let your bewildered eyes fall on the empty notepad discarded on the soundboard. In your periphery, Jihoon rolls up the sleeves of his black button up, flexing his arms lightly as if he was battling demons not to pin you against that very soundboard.

Expensive equipment be damned.

“Let's get to work,” You huff, prompting Jihoon to run a frustrated hand through his mid length, black locks. Effectively making the wolfcut appear even more messy and unkempt.

You looked away, agitated, with your blood pressure shot to hell. This would be a very long session.

・✧・

And a very long session, it was.

Noon had faded to dusk and dusk had bled into starlight while you and Jihoon sat stagnant in the studio, surrounded by creative frustration and a different kind of frustration you refused to give the adequate amount of time to.

Woozi murmurs distractedly, peering down at the guitar sitting atop his lap. He toys with strings while you attempt to mix and master the wet bar on the computer screen, toying with the beat until you find something that stuck.

That is what you and Jihoon have resorted to during the course of this evening.

Your Gucci sneakers are kicked off underneath the desk and the bra you had initially walked in wearing, is now sitting discarded on Jihoon's couch. The both of you are accommodating to the stifling studio air. You find yourself grateful Woozi had kept the temperature cool as you were losing a dire war with under-boob sweat.

“Hit record,” he suddenly says, “I think I've got something,”

The tone that feeds from the guitar into the amplifier, is angelic, damn near perfect, but the look on his face once he pulls the final string is troubled. He quickly jots something down onto the notepad that had been filled considerably since this session began.

“You've got to be kidding me,” You say, releasing a wistful sigh as you peer at Jihoon sitting beside you. “That was fucking gold! Don't tell me you're not satisfied.” Jihoon is only able to shake his head before placing the guitar gently against the soundboard. “I know… but-”

“But?!” You're leaning over your seat, invading his bubble with your eyes blown to saucers.

“But…” He says teasingly before leaning closer to you, letting his eyes scan over your face as he slyly says, “I'd rather be fingering something else.”

His exposed forearms flex when he brings a hand up to toy with the Swarovski necklace that hangs from your collarbone. His voice is as smooth as the sap running steadily from tree bark in a fairytale forest. It's completely and utterly enchanting and you find yourself unable to pull back and sit back in your own seat.

“You look so pretty, you know that?” he whispers lowly, and you're fully convinced that he must know of the effect his voice has on you.

Fortunately for you, self control is something you take great pride in, and your voice is steady when you speak, but your torso is still leaning over onto his seat as you ask, “Jihoon, what is this?” You are completely spellbound when Woozi brings his fingers up to your chin. He examines your face like an art critic coasting the archaic halls of the most ancient museum. He knew exactly how to get you to melt and concede. “You know I had somewhere else to be,” you scold yourself for letting the words tumble out of your mouth in a desperate whisper.

He only snickers quietly, his eyes still roaming over your visage as he says, “You know his album isn't going to be better than mine.”

You find yourself completely mystified as Jihoon coaxes you over the barrier, until you're begrudgingly straddling him on his seat. Your breath falters as your skirt begins to ride high on your hips and Woozi's callused hands immediately hug the curves of your wide hips. He's staring up at you, and you're significantly elevated from your position on his lap. Height is completely on your side but you'd be stupid to discount the fact that he's in complete control here.

His hands rub dizzying circles on your thigh as he says, “Or don't you agree?”

“With what?”

“That my album will be better than Wonwoo's,” he states his petulance so casually it has you reeling. The blood coursing through your veins only has your mind doing somersaults trying to grapple onto your steadily declining sensibilities.

“Your album is not going to be much of anything if you keep bringing me here just to get your dick wet,”

“Oh! That's what I was doing?” He gasps in faux surprise before shaking his head, “I had no idea!”

You roll your eyes to the back of your head, although you're not quite sure if that's out of vexation or the wave of lust that hits you when Woozi brings your core down flush against his lap.

“Seriously Jihoon,” you say, unable to keep the gasp from rolling out of your mouth, “Did you bring me into the studio as your engineer or your whore?”

He nods his head playfully jutting his bottom lip out as if he's pondering something vastly philosophical.

“It can't be both?”

The whine you release from your throat is downright lascivious as Jihoon buries his face in between your neck and shoulder. This time, however, you're unable to break apart. His iron grip keeps you firmly pressed against his lap, guiding your hips back and forth. A sharp shiver wracks through your spine when Jihoon slips out the tip of his tongue to lick small innocent kitten licks at the skin underneath your ear. You're positively buzzing with untapped energy that he only seems pleased to continue to build upon. Until you are coming undone at the seams.

You're not even sure whether your hips are grinding down on his bulge out of your own accord or his hands gripping the skin of your thighs.

“Jihoon, we should be finishing the track-”

“We've done enough,” he says before reattaching his lips to your neck, this time sucking and kissing violently at your sensitive skin. You're grinding down further, eyes fluttering shut as your fingers weave into the roots of Woozi’s long hair. “What if someone walks in?” you whisper, although, now Woozi is starkly aware that your words are carrying the weight of your own fantasy, “I really think we should get back to work,”

“Fuck me, you smell so good,” He breathes out, pulling back to reveal a flush face. Woozi’s cheeks are ruddy and his wolfcut is in complete disarray under the oppression of your tight grip.

You're moving your hips much more hurriedly against his lap and he never stops you. In fact, Jihoon slyly pushes his hand up underneath your shirt, his palm immediately making direct contact with your pert nipples.

“F-Fuck, Woozi.”

“I know baby, I know,” he murmurs, rolling your nipple between his fingers as your wetness seeps out through your underwear, right onto his lap.

“Shit, baby. You're such a messy fucking girl….” He's absolutely fargone under the gaze of lust. Murmuring incoherence as he pushes his hips up to meet your swollen clit. “My little girl is so fucking messy-”

“Jihoon- I'm gonna cum-”

“No you're not,” he says, immediately stilling your movements, bringing your restless hips to a crashing halt.

“Jesus- what the fuck?!” You're absolutely livid. Your limbs tremble not only, under the weight of your anger but by the strength of the orgasm that was going to wash over you.

“Earlier,” Jihoon says, “You asked me to finish this track but I don't know if I'm in the right headspace to finish it.” Your brows furrow in confusion and your voice resounds throughout the studio as you ask, “What!?”

“I said,” Woozi's hand slyly moves from your thigh, up your torso until he's resting it on the top of your head, as if he were petting you, “I don't think I'm in the right head… space,” he removes the hair tie from your hair, letting the braids scatter down your shoulders.

You immediately catch his drift.

“I've lost so many hair ties around here,” You say, “I'm sure you have a collection somewhere,”

Jihoon's tone is nonchalant as he applies a certain pressure on your head, “Mantle on the east wall, top drawer on the right. I keep them all.” he says before pushing you down, off his lap, until you were kneeling in front of him.

“Now, I need to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours, Baby.” He whispers, letting his thumb sink inside your mouth while his other hand unbuttons his slacks.

He is only able to lower his slacks enough to uncover his gardener cock, red and aching before he's pushing your head down onto it. Your lips fall open around Jihoon's cock and he immediately throws his head back. Cursing wildly before fisting your hair in a deathly grip that has you whining around his cock.

“Fuck I love the pathetic noises you make. It's so fucking hot.” His chest rises and falls feverishly as he forces you to take even more of him into your hollowed out mouth. You clench your toes and fight to take him in, until the tip of his cock is hitting the back of your throat.

“Fuck!” He hisses, keeping his other hand locked in his own hair as if he's utterly in awe of the sight of you. “You're such a good slut, you know that?” His words of affirmation does a terrific job at motivating you to allow him to steadily fuck your throat. His hips rise and fall from the couch, hitting that spot at the back of your throat that has his cock twitching in warning of his load fast approaching.

You ready yourself to swallow every single bit but it never comes, and Jihoon is forcing your head off his cock. A string of saliva breaking from your lips to the tip of his glistening cock.

“Sit on my cock-” He's already pulling you back onto your lap as if you are nothing more than his plaything. .

“fuck- n-need to cum inside you.” He doesn't take your panties off, only pushing the material to the side before he's spearing you onto his dick with reckless abandon. The tempo that he immediately sets is animalistic and hurried and absolutely sloppy. You fight to catch up.

“Fuck-Jihoon-” Once you adjust to the stretch, you're trapped in a state of interminable lust.

“Move this,” he breathes out, roughly pushing your shirt over your chest, “Need to see your pretty fucking tits,” his hands immediately latch onto your breasts and the sensation of being so utterly consumed by him as you riding his dick faster and harder.

“Fuck, just like that, baby. Just like that, pretty girl.” His head rolls backwards and you shudder as you orgasm sneaks up on you like a thief in the night. Your walls close tightly around his dick and Jihoon's cock twitches inside you.

“Shit- you're fucking clenching around me, baby,” He says, bringing his head back to gaze lovingly up at you-

“Please cum for me Jihoon-”

He's nodding non stop as he fucks up into you before burying his face between your breasts. You never stop riding him, not even when he brokenly exclaims, “Fuck- oh shit- baby I'm cumming- I'm cumming inside you-” and he's spilling his seed before he is able to finish his incoherent string of a sentence. You shudder as he paints your inner walls with his cum holding you tightly and pressing you down on his stuttering hips as if terrified that you might move away.

You have no energy to tell him you wouldn't dare. Instead, you let him hug you tightly, his face pressed into your breasts as he emptied himself inside of you.

“Shit!” He hisses when his orgasm subsides and his load begins to leak out of your puffy, used cunt.

“Thank you for helping me, baby,” He whispers sweetly. The traces of the old Jihoon steadily return and your heart clenches in warm adoration.

“That was all you.” You whispered.

#woozi x reader #woozi x y/n #woozi x you #woozi smut #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #seventeen x y/n #seventeen smut #seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #seventeen #svt fanfic #svt x reader #svt #svt smut #wonwoo x reader

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nataliesfirefly · 1 month

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You and I Walk a Fragile Line - Farleigh Start x F!Reader - Part 7

a/n: hey y’all!! im finally back yayyy and ready to serve you guys some hot and fresh ANGST. i would like to apologize in advance, this chapter is kind of rough. part 8 will most likely be the last part of this series 😭😭 pls give suggestions for what i should write next, like should i start doing oneshots or start a new series, and should i write for a new character??? just send it to my asks!!! anyways enjoyyyy ily all so much thank you for the kind words and love! ❤️❤️

word count: 4k words

warnings: fem reader, language, mentions of sex, alcohol, smoking, ANGST, fluff for like one second, suggestive stuff, farleigh is a bitch but so is reader, not proofread

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You wake slowly, your eyelids heavy with sleep. You feel an arm wrapped around your waist and warmth enveloping you. Sunlight creeps into the room, bathing the walls in golden light. Memories of last night start coming back to you in waves.

You tilt your head up slightly, seeing Farleigh sleeping peacefully. His long lashes flattened across his closed eyelids, his chest rising and falling slowly, completely relaxed in his deep sleep.

If someone would have told you a year ago you would be waking up next to Farleigh, you would have laughed in their face. It’s surreal. And yet you can’t complain as you watch the beautiful, serene expression on his face.

You shift, sitting up slowly, careful not to wake him. You both barely fit in his bed. You wonder how you managed not to fall off of it during the night.

He stirs a bit in his sleep and stretches out the arm that was flung over your waist. He groans softly and his eyes flutter open as you pull up the duvet to cover the lower half of your body.

“Morning,” He mutters, blinking away the sleep, his voice husky. “Hey,” You awkwardly reply, noticing that your own voice is a bit weak. You notice the dull pain in your lower back as you sit upright, and you grimace.

Farleigh just stares at you blankly, and you stare right back. You aren’t sure what to do or say in this situation, when the person you’ve always claimed to hate just gave you the best night of your life.

You reach a hand around to your back and rub it softly, trying to soothe the pain. He raises an eyebrow, and you can tell one of those smug remarks is forming on the tip of his tongue.

“Are you sore?” He asks, a smirk playing on his lips as he rolls onto his back. He raises his arms behind his head and watches you with intrigue.

“No,” You lie, shaking your head. “No?” His smirk only grows and you glance away. “Maybe.” You say softly.

Your gaze trails down to his stomach and his waist, the duvet covering the rest of him. You look back up to his face, and you can see him eyeing your body with a look of hunger.

Nope. “Okay, we need to figure this out,” You start, trying to push the horny thoughts out of your mind. Farleigh sighs and rolls back onto his side, facing you.

“What’s there to figure out?” He asks, making it sound so simple. You stare at him blankly and blink a few times.

“Are you- Oh my God,” You hold your head in your hands.

“You’re overcomplicating this. We hooked up. Are you familiar with that term?” He pokes you in the side and you bat his hand away.

“Shut up,” You roll your eyes. “Farleigh. It means something when you have sex with someone, okay?” You explain matter-of-factly. He goes quiet.

“I thought you would be mature enough to realize that,” You shake your head and chuckle at your own apparent stupidity.

“For you it might have meant something,” He replies coldly. “But for me, maybe it didn’t.”

You turn back to him, genuinely taken aback by his comment. Why did it feel so special to you? You think back to last night. It was so intimate. It didn’t feel like just another hook up. He made it feel like your first time, and he’s saying that it didn’t mean anything to him??

“Right, because you just get passed around, so it all starts to feel the same at some point,” You fire back. His eyes turn dark.

“Wow, fuck you too,” He says under his breath. “You’re just like everyone else. You’re just fucking shallow, not capable of seeing someone as more than just a hole,” You reply, your voice seething with anger as you climb off the bed and go to search for your clothes on the floor.

“Jesus, that’s not true,” Farleigh exclaims, but you shake your head as you step into your underwear and your shorts.

He sits up and watches you walk to the door once you’re dressed. You open it and turn back to look at him one more time before shutting it behind you.

You don’t realize the tears pooling in your eyes until you’re alone in the hallway. You begin the walk back to your room, ignoring the fact that your legs are a bit unsteady and your back still aches.

Are you just being a stupid, delusional girl who caught feelings for someone after a one night stand? You could usually just leave someone's room after sleeping with them and never speak to them again back at Oxford, but with Farleigh, it’s different. You wanted it to mean something. You try to push down your feelings and forget about last night, but it’s nearly impossible. All you can do is try your best to ignore him.

The past three nights, there’s been a pattern. You and Farleigh ignore each other the whole day, avoid each other at all costs, and then late at night when no one else is awake, he leaves his door open for you and you creep into his room, which eventually leads to you two fucking or doing something of the sort.

Of course, you two never talked anything out or solved any problems. You don’t know why you went back to him. You were trying to be nonchalant and independent, but you obviously failed at that. You want to hate him, but your craving for his touch and his body overrides all of your logical judgment.

And every night you tell yourself that it’s the last time. But you just keep coming back for more and he welcomes you with open arms.

Tonight at dinner, you act like he’s not there at all, like a ghost is in his place, and he does the same. You don’t even glance in each other's direction.

“So, the party is tomorrow night. Your friend is arriving during the day, correct?” Elspeth glances at you and you nod in response.

“Yes. She’s just taking the train and then getting a cab, I think.” You take a nibble of your bread.

“Remind me of her name again, darling,” Elspeth asks. “Oh, it’s Lola.” You smile and she presses a hand to her chest. “Oh, I love that name. So beautiful.”

Felix clears his throat. “I didn’t know you were inviting Lola,” He says. You look over to him and it seems that he is pleased with this information.

“Yeah. Sorry, I forgot to tell you,” You pat him on the shoulder. Farleigh sighs loudly and your eyes dart over to him before returning to Felix.

“It’s alright. I quite like Lola,” He smiles and you grin, thinking of how happy Lola will be to hear this information.

“Because you fucked her?” Farleigh says abruptly and Elspeth coughs. “Farleigh,” Sir James hisses.

“Jesus Christ, mate,” Felix shakes his head and looks down.

You awkwardly sit there in the silence, eyeing Farleigh from across the table. “No, I like Lola because she’s kind, funny.. She’s smart, too,” Felix finally says.

“Whatever,” Farleigh rolls his eyes and you can’t help but snicker. What’s his problem?

“You should ask Lola out. I think she really likes you, too.” You nudge him and lower your voice as a different conversation begins at the table.

“Does she?” He raises his eyebrows and his eyes light up. “Felix, she’s had a crush on you since like… our first year,” You explain. His face turns a red shade.

It’s weird to see Felix be so nervous over a girl. To him, all girls are the same, just little accessories for him to show off. But maybe Lola was an exception, the one girl he might actually care about.

“Well, I look forward to seeing her.” You can see that his smile doesn’t fade even after your conversation ends.

Later that night, you end up in Farleigh’s bed, sticking to the usual routine. You snuck into his room at one in the morning, which was the time you found everyone else was already asleep. Now you could guess that it’s maybe around two as you lay next to him, your naked body covered by the expensive sheets, staring up at the ceiling.

“You don’t think anybody could hear us, right?” You ask softly. The last thing you need is for Felix or, really, any one of the Cattons to find out about you and Farleigh’s situationship.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit late to be asking that?” You look up to see that stupid smirk. His face is illuminated by a slice of moonlight streaming in through the window, and he looks angelic. You can see the gold flecks in his eyes. He has a point, since you two have been doing this for four nights now.

“They definitely did. But no one has said anything yet,” He sighs and wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer to him. You smile at the feeling of his skin against yours and close your eyes.

“Do you think Felix would be mad?” You ask. He plays with a strand of your hair, threading it through his fingers slowly. “Why would he be?” He questions.

“Cause we’re best friends and you’re his cousin,” You explain, wondering why it isn’t obvious to him.

He tilts his head down to you. “Best friends?” He raises an eyebrow and you roll your eyes. “I don’t know.” You shrug. You assume he’s referring to you and Felix’s little fight.

“Did he really say those things about me?” You ask, sitting up slightly. “You ask a lot of questions,” He groans.

“No, answer me,” You respond while narrowing your eyes. “I might have… made some of it up?” He trails off, his tone making it almost sound like a question. You grab a pillow quickly and hit him over the head with it.

“Farleigh! You little shit!” He shields his face with his hands and laughs. “It’s not funny,” You sit back and cross your arms. He finally peeks out from behind his hands and shrugs. “I mean, was I wrong? He said it eventually, I just sped up the process,” He bites his lip to keep back a grin, but you see it in his eyes.

“Whatever.” You shake your head before laying back down.

“If it makes you feel any better, I only said that stuff because I know how it feels,” Farleigh says, his voice softer than before. “After all these years, I’ve figured out how he thinks. How they all think,” He explains.

You tilt your head as he continues. “They pity me. They only keep me around because they feel bad for me and everything that happened with my mom,” You feel a pang in your chest. You always knew this, but you still feel bad for Farleigh. In a way, you can relate.

“Just look around. I don’t fit in. But I try to,” The room falls silent and all you hear is both of your breathing.

“I’m sorry,” You whisper. He shakes his head. “It’s fine. What I’m trying to say is, I understand you.” He says it almost hesitantly, and you know it’s because he’s not used to being vulnerable with anyone.

“Thank you,” You take his hand in yours and squeeze it gently. He looks down at your hand and then back up at you, and you can see the gears turning in his head. Then, he withdraws his hand and turns over. “Goodnight,” He mutters.

You sigh and turn over so your back is to his. Why does he do that? It’s like he can’t make up his mind. Does he want to be vulnerable or does he want to pretend that he’s emotionless?

It’s a big turn out at the party, as per usual. You recognize a few people from college, mostly Felix’s friends. Everyone else is most likely family friends of the Cattons or at least acquaintances. You can’t even comprehend how one could invite so many people to a party. You’re not even sure you could name twenty friends off the top of your head.

You and Lola step outside, navigating through the large throng of people, gently shoving past and muttering the occasional ‘excuse me!’ ever so often. She arrived earlier today, shortly after lunch, and was greeted warmly by Elspeth and the rest of the family. Elspeth called her beautiful several times and seemed to really enjoy Lola’s company. Felix was hanging around them, joining the conversation every now and then, and you noticed how Lola’s face burned a deep red shade everytime they made eye contact with each other. You told Lola about Felix’s little crush on her, and she started jumping and giggling like a schoolgirl. She couldn’t believe it.

You inhale the fresh air, no longer trapped among the crowd of sweaty, writhing bodies inside. There are still many people outside, but less concentrated. Some people lay on the grass, while others stand and take sips of their drinks, as the footmen pace around, carrying platters of various cocktails, wines, and hors d'oeuvres. You glance around, taking in the dark landscape colored by large torches of fire and glitters of sparkly dresses catching in the neon lights.

“Wow. This looks like a movie,” Lola grins and looks around. “They really know how to throw a party,” She remarks. You nod in agreement. “They do, don’t they?”

She pauses and squints while glancing about. “Have you seen Felix?” She asks. You knew the question was coming. You raise an eyebrow and shake your head. “No. I bet he’ll turn up at some point, though.”

You both sit down on a nearby bench, peacefully observing the scenery. Lola turns to you. “Hey, you know who I think you would be cute with?” She nudges you with her arm and you sigh, preparing yourself for what she’s going to say. “Who?” You ask.

“Farleigh.” She says. You swallow nervously, attempting not to show whatever reaction you’re having to his name. “Oh. Umm, no.” You shake your head aggressively and she laughs. You can feel your face heating up and you curse internally. “Why are you getting so flustered?” She quirks an eyebrow and narrows her eyes suspiciously.

“I’m not,” You quickly look away, turning your face away from her. “Dude, the chemistry you two have is insane.” Lola whistles and you turn back to her. “He’s annoying,” You roll your eyes, half faking your disdain.

“You know, I’ve never told you this, but I feel obligated to now,” She scoots closer to you, and your curiosity peaks. “Hm?”

“So, back in… When was it? First year, first term. Oxford. Farleigh came by our dorm once, and he seemed very… concerned.” She begins, and she seems concentrated on recalling all the details. You don’t know where this is going.

“It was a Sunday morning, so of course we had gone out the night before. When he couldn’t find you anywhere, he walked all the way to our dorm, which is, mind you, on the other side of the campus from where he lived at the time.” She explains. Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Why was he looking for me?” You question.

“I don’t know. That’s the thing. He wouldn’t really tell me much, he was just asking if you had come home after the club. Which you hadn’t yet, so I told him no. He just seemed very worried for someone who claimed to hate you so much,” Lola laughs quietly to herself and plays with a piece of her hair.

“Oh.” You look down at your lap and process the information Lola has just given you. “I think he cares about you more than he lets on,” She tells you with a lowered voice and another playful nudge.

Felix spots the two of you from a distance and waves, jogging over. He smiles and dips his head to Lola, then to you.

“Hello, you two. Looking stunning tonight,” He observes your dresses, but especially Lola’s. His eyes linger on her for a second too long, and you notice.

“Why thank you,” You reply politely, raising your glass of wine to him before taking a sip. “Is that one of Venetia’s dresses?” Felix gestures to your elegant black dress. “Yes. She let me borrow it,” You answer. “Well, it looks great on you,” He nods and smiles.

“Lola, would you like to walk with me?” He asks, turning to Lola. She nods quickly, eagerly. “Yes, please. Let’s go,” She gives you an excited glance as she steps forward, Felix taking her hand in his, and they walk off together. You watch with envy. Although you claim to not want a boyfriend, it would still be nice to not be left alone at parties.

Sometime later, you find yourself in a pleasant conversation with a man by the name of Damien. He seems kind and genuine, and he’s actually interesting. He has a personality, surprisingly, and good humor. You both stand by the staircase, chatting it up and discussing all things school and personal life. Although Farleigh is at the back of your mind, and you haven’t seen him all night, you try not to care. You know that you aren’t actually in a relationship with him, so you can talk to all the men you want.

“Yeah, and that’s what I told them. You have to look at it from a different perspective. That’s what philosophy is all about, really.” Damien explains, and you nod enthusiastically. “Right. Exactly,” You suddenly feel a presence behind you and then a strong grasp on your arm.

“I’m so sorry man, she’s had way too much to drink tonight. I should probably help her up to bed.” You hear Farleigh’s voice and you turn to look up at him. The fuck is he doing? You’ve had a whopping total of one drink tonight, a single glass of red wine. What is he on about?

Damien raises his eyebrows. “She seems fine to me, mate.” He tilts his head and glances back and forth between you and Farleigh. You can’t help but notice he’s significantly shorter than Farleigh.

“She’s not, but thank you! Have a good night,” Farleigh replies with a bit of sass in his voice as he drags you away, causing you to stumble after him as he leads you up the stairs. Damien watches you two leave with a puzzled expression.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You hiss angrily, some people side eyeing you as you pass by. “Saving you from that boring conversation,” He replies, eventually pushing open a door to one of the guest rooms and walking in. He closes the door behind him.

“I was actually enjoying that. And I’ve only had one drink tonight, for the record.” You escape out of his grasp and step away from him. He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, looking down at you.

“Enjoying what? His knowledge about philosophy?” He scoffs and shakes his head. “At least he’s smart enough to talk about philosophy rather than the latest gossip or his most recent hook up,” You scowl back at him.

“And his outfit. He clearly has no knowledge on fashion,” He chuckles and sighs shortly after. You don’t laugh.

“What do you want from me?” You question, narrowing your eyes. “Nothing.” He shrugs nonchalantly.

Realization clicks in your head as a smile tugs at your lips. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?” You say. He freezes and you know you’ve just read him like a book. “Farleigh Start is jealous,” You say in a sing song voice and his gaze falters down to the floor. “Shut up,” He groans.

“You avoid me all day, all evening, and then you want me when it’s convenient for you, but you don’t want me to speak to another man?” You feel yourself getting more and more heated with rage with each word. You feel all the emotions you buried coming to the surface. “And not only that, you’re just emotionally unavailable! All you care about is–” You huff angrily, dropping your hands to your side.

“You can’t have it both ways. Make up your fucking mind.” You watch as his eyes widen at your words. “I’m not playing your stupid games anymore, Farleigh. Either decide what you want or leave me the fuck alone.” Your harsh words hang in the air between you and you let out a breath, looking down towards the ground. Lola’s words from earlier linger in your head and it makes you even more confused.

“I mean, am I stupid for thinking we had something?” You ask, throwing your hands up and looking at him expectantly. “Yes.” He replies flatly. You’ve never felt the urge to slap him across his face as strong as right now. “We were never a thing. Not even a concept. We never will be.” He says, resting his head back on the wall.

“So you just used me for my body? Is that all you wanted?” Your heart races with fury. He can’t even look you in the eye as you talk, he continues to look down at the wooden floor. “I hate you,” The words escape your lips before you can think about it. Suddenly, his eyes flick back to yours and he scoffs.

“You don’t hate me when I’m inside you,” He remarks smugly, a grin on his face despite the serious situation. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” You exclaim angrily after registering his response.

You decide to go back to the door, and just as you’re about to turn the knob, he speaks.

“You know what I think?” Farleigh says, his voice dark and cold, and you can already tell he is about to say something ruthless. “What? Please, tell me.” You turn around to face him, your vision blurry with tears.

“I think that you’re a slut who finally got the attention she wanted, and then when a whole relationship didn’t come with it, she blames everyone except for herself.” He takes a step closer to you, attempting to assert dominance with his height. He leans down as he lowers his voice, his dark eyes intense and cold. “But it is her fault, because she expects a fucking fairytale romance, but she’ll never get it, because those don’t exist. But she’s happy to play along and get fucked like the dumb slut she is.”

You think that you actually stop breathing for a second. His words slice through you like cold knives and his gaze pierces into yours. You inhale shakily and raise your finger, pointing at him.

“You’re a piece of shit, Farleigh. I wish we never met,” You blink and the tears overflow, streaming down your cheeks. White hot hatred built up over the years pours out of you and into your voice. He seems taken aback by your words as regret and guilt swim in his eyes. He remains silent as you twist the doorknob, swing the door open, walk out, then promptly slam it behind you.

You walk to your bedroom as fast as you can, trying to avoid the glances and whispers as you pass by. You’re sure you look a mess, you can feel the mascara streaking down your face with every tear that drops from your eyes. You open the door to your room, hoping to not find a random couple fucking on your bed. Luckily, it’s completely empty as you step inside and close the door behind you, locking it.

You try to tune out the loud bass echoing throughout the walls as you climb onto your bed, helplessly sobbing with your head in your hands. You want to text Lola, but you know she’s probably having fun with Felix. You wonder if Venetia has her phone on her. Nevermind, you think. It’s probably best to just suffer on your own and let everyone else enjoy themselves tonight.

It’s not like you can tell anyone about what’s happening. No one is even supposed to know about you and Farleigh. How are you going to survive the rest of the summer with him around at all times? You know you can avoid him. It’s just going to be difficult. But you’re willing to do whatever it takes because that was the last straw for you. It’s really over this time, and you promise yourself you won’t fall back into his trap.

taglist: @isla-finke-blog @ibimbogrl @drunkmysticsquirrel @alonia-olivia @novemilady @saltburnsworld @florkt @i-love-ptv @imjustheretoreadsmuthaha

#farleigh start #saltburn #farleigh start x reader #farleigh x reader #farleigh x you #farleigh saltburn #archie madekwe

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emelinstriker · 1 year

Text

{Triad AU} Wukong ♡ Crafty Love

This is my own lil take/idea on the Triad AU by @skittlescripts - Basically you don't have a double life in my version but are the reincarnation of his love. Just cuz I can only write what my interest chooses to sit on, and it apparently didn't sit well with the by day/nightlife concept hfdngfhdngfd- So it ended up with picking a different path in my head. :'D

Smol doodle drawn by me with my persona cuz it fits more than a random Wukong screenshot. c:

♡ ~ Fluff ~ ♡

Today was a pretty chill day for your workplace. You did have customers come in, but it wasn't as many as usual. Assuming people were simply busy themselves today, you didn't think much of it. Well, that was until one of your co-workers told you about how your boss seemed to have gotten into some trouble with a member of the local triad. Something along the lines of her having gotten into an argument over keeping the restaurant on their king's turf. But apparently it was a lower member, so he ended up threatening to get a higher-up. And customers who received the news were wary about eating there for a while.

Nothing happened however, so it seemed more like an empty threat from your boss's point of view.

And yet due to what you heard, you were a little bit on edge yourself. Mainly about the potential shut down of the restaurant, making you essentially jobless once more. And you actually did enjoy your job here.

You were the one who designed the restaurant aesthetically, making it feel more welcoming for those afraid of the organization lurking everywhere. And since the restaurant was in a rather shady part of Megapolis, it stood out quite a long. You were also in charge of making to-go packages look nicely. Aluminum animals were littered around the windows for show of your abilities in the crafts of origami and general design.

And it did garner a lot of attention because most passerby found it really cute. Even customers' children sometimes asked if they could make their own little animals with your assistance. But your skills did not make you famous or really be seen. You were quite invisible to the public eye, always sitting quietly in a corner or in the back of the restaurant. In fact, you were so invisible that the two powerful demons that came in later that day didn't notice you folding up another delivery for someone who ordered for pick-up. The customer specifically asked for a fox as a little gift for one of his family members. You yourself were so occupied by your artistic piece and playlist's music that you didn't notice them coming in either.

The demons were talking to your co-worker and were 'kindly' asking for your boss. And of course, your co-worker, terrified as she was, jogged towards the back to get your boss.

"Ugh, why does everyone keep on picking this part of the city for their business?" The monkey with an eye patch questioned while scrolling through his phone, thoroughly bored. He knew this 'talk' wouldn't take long, so why was he demanded to join in the first place?

The other simian leaning against the counter huffed, "Well, they simply don't learn this area is off-limits. I don't even see any reason to keep this restaurant here anyway. We can just scare off every customer if we go the non-violent route." He quickly flipped through the menu, or rather looked at solely the pictures. "Even the food here looks mediocre at best. Killing the people here plus the business would actually be a blessing."

"At least the decoration's nice. I mean, look at this cat!" The black-furred one commented, holding up a miniature kitten made out of aluminum foil he found by the counter.

"Hm, true", the other one admitted. His eyes then glanced around the room's decor... until his eyes landed on you.

You, who made The Great Sage instantly freeze in shock.

You, who was sitting lonely in the corner of the empty restaurant.

You... who looked like an exact replica of his long lost lover, just with different clothing.

His one and only beloved, who managed to tame this beast of a feral demon... until they died to another demon's talons. It caused the Monkey King to snap and make sure this demon would no longer serve as a reminder of what happened. The environment wasn't safe from the encounter either. Unfortunately, he was unable to bring you back, and he had no way of knowing if you would ever be able to reincarnate. But it seems he finally had found you after so many years. And you were the one behind the creation of the only good thing about this restaurant.

The monkey stared at you for so long that his eyes started to dilate and his tail started to slowly swish from side to side. His lips curled into a soft smile as he witnessed your happiness with your work. His friend seemed to notice and followed his gaze.

Ah. Now he understood.

He smirked at his superior's lovestruck expression. Until your co-worker returned, trailing behind your boss, who suddenly seemed a lot more anxious than ever before. The two monkeys gazes snapped back at the two women behind the counter. One monkey seemed amused while the other seemed to have been caught off-guard.

"Yeah, so, we came here because one of my men noticed your restaurant and you were not willing to leave our turf. And we came to settle what he didn't manage to do", the black-furred one stated nonchalantly, his gaze lingering back onto his phone, seemingly searching for something specific.

"Oh Great Sage Equal To Heaven! I beg of you! Please don't kill us!" Your boss pleaded, lowering her head and putting her hands together.

The Great Sage's eyes then glanced back over to you, still vibing to your music and smiling at your crafty little work. You just finished another smaller fox as extra, and he couldn't help but find it absolutely adorable. He then looked back at your boss with a smirk. "You know what? Nevermind, you get to keep your lives and your business."

Confused, yet still frightened, your boss asked him what made him change his mind.

"Simple. You got one amazing and absolutely stunning crafty person working here. Would be a shame if anything happened to your or this business while they still work here~", he answered as his eyes traveled back over to your corner. Your boss glanced between him and you repeatedly before laughing in what one could only describe as a mix of relief and confusion... or concern.

"W-Well, they are a great person, indeed! I assigned them to this task specifically because they don't want to be seen or have to talk to customers. So we- ...huh?" Your boss stopped, watching helplessly as The Great Sage Equal To Heaven approached your seat with his hands in his pockets. Both her and your co-worker were silently praying for your life.

You were still busy with another aluminum animal, when you suddenly felt someone's presence drawing closer. You finally looked up when the person was hovering over you. "Um... may I help you, sir?" You asked as you took off your headphones. What you didn't expect was that the person was a monkey with fancy-looking clothing. He was blushing a little but you were too confused to notice. Apparently you didn't recognize him. He saw it as mostly a blessing because he didn't want the reincarnation of his beloved to fear him. The way you were so casual towards him was what drew him into your past life's relationship in the first place.

"Oh, I just saw your fascinating little crafts and wanted to say you- I-I mean, they look lovely!" He stammered out nervously. You blinked at him before leaning over the table to grab a little aluminum monkey you made before. It wasn't quite as accurate as the birds you've created, but it was still recognizable. You then held up the mini monkey in front of him with a smile.

"Would you like to have this one? It's not great by any means, I'm... still practicing monkeys. I-I hope it doesn't look offensive, otherwise I could-" "It's perfect..." He cut you off, gently taking the animal made out of foil. He would hate himself if he accidentally damaged it in any way with his strength. His claws barely brushed over the softness of your hands, but it was enough to make him feel the tingling sensation you imprinted on him. The Great Sage then gave you a loving smile and a nod in appreciation, "Thank you..."

While the two of you were chatting away about your masterpieces, laughing when certain jokes were made, your boss and co-worker were baffled. They wouldn't have believed it if the scene wasn't playing out right in front of their eyes. The Sun Wukong, Great Sage Equal To Haven, leader of the most feared triad, and immortal Monkey King... was casually talking to a practically invisible stranger without threatening them even once. Or even making them feel uncomfortable.

Were you so oblivious to the fact that you were speaking to a man who could not only kill you, but also destroy everything around you without even trying?

Well, it wasn't so much about being oblivious than it was just about being a decent person. You've heard of the triad, and you've heard rumors of the infamous Monkey King. However, that doesn't mean you would necessarily have to treat him any different to any other customer since you didn't know him personally. You've never even seen the guy until now. And by his looks, you could easily assume it was him.

Meanwhile Macaque seemed amused by the situation. Something only he seemed to have noticed was Wukong's tail wagging happily. Its movement wasn't fast, but it still reminded him of a dog who found its long missing owner. So he couldn't help but take a picture of the scene. It wouldn't serve so much as blackmail, but it would be enough to calm him down with a picture of you if the other simian started to go off again.

And if that wasn't enough, he took some extra pictures of specifically you being happy with Wukong.

"So what you're saying is that if I order food for pick-up or delivery, you would be the one packing it up?" The orange monkey asked, purposefully playing dumb.

"Yeah, unless I'm sick or have a day off. Then one of my co-workers does the packing instead", you responded, pointing in the counters' general direction. Your co-worker let out a nervous squeak before hiding behind your boss.

"Great, so I'll get to see your pretty face a lot more often!" Your face turned a light shade of red at his comment. Too shocked that someone, anyone, let alone The Great Sage would compliment you past your work. He gave you a grin, "It's decided. You can expect me to order food at least once a day."

You blinked in absolute confusion, meanwhile your co-workers were dumbfounded. "Eh?"

"Well, it was nice talking to a stunning and demon-friendly person such as yourself, peaches. But I believe my visitation time's up for today. I hope you're back here tomorrow though." He winked at you at the end, making your blush darken just a bit that he could still notice.

"And don't worry about your business, boss lady", he added as he turned towards the counter with a smirk. "So long as your amazing artist's working here, this restaurant is under the triad's protection. Anyone who tries to get rid of it will have to get through me and my men first." His eyes seemed to darken just a little as his smirk grew into something a bit more sinister. The Monkey King let out a laugh at your co-workers' scared expressions. The dark-furred simian on the other hand huffed in amusement, showing his own fanged grin to the two women. This seemed to scare them a few steps further away from the counter he was now sitting on.

The orange-furred monkey then pulled out a pen and used a piece of unused foil before writing something down on it. He then slid it over the table towards you, placing his other hand on his hips. "Here, feel free to text or call me anytime. And by anytime, I do mean anytime. Feel free to also contact me when you feel unsafe or just want company! I really wouldn't mind showing up in person!"

To be honest, it was actually strange for Macaque to see his old friend act this weirdly. He could tell Wukong was trying to sway and seduce you. But due to how he wasn't trying to do it to manipulate you, and him haven't genuinely done this in hundreds of years, he kind of lost his touch. The shadow monkey could see him struggling as he was a nervous mess on the inside.

His tail gave away his nervous vibes the most. It kept on moving around, curling in on itself, as well as seemingly trying to hold itself back from just wrapping around you for much needed comfort. You glanced at the info written down on the piece of aluminum before gently smiling at him with a nod. "Will do, thanks! It was nice chatting with you too, Mr. Monkey King."

"Please, just call me Wukong. 'Mister' just makes me feel an extra millennium older."

"But you are old, grandpa!" Macaque exclaimed from across the room, earning him a death glare from his ticked off boss.

"You're one to talk, emo dinosaur!" The King snapped back. You couldn't help but let out a small laugh at their childish insults, making the orange-furred monkey slowly turn towards you, his heartbeat seemingly increasing at the sound. He needed to hear your laugh more.

"Anyway, I'll take this with me," he stated as he picked up one the menus from the table, "and we'll be on our way now. See you tomorrow, peaches~" The Great Sage then rather aggressively grabbed the other amused demon by the back of his coat, casually picking him up and carrying him towards the exit, the aluminum monkey still being gently held by his other hand. "Move along Macaque, we don't have all day."

"Until next time, (Y/N)!" Macaque called out as he waved at you as best as he could, still being carried away like a kitten.

...How did he know your name? You only told Wukong during your conversation... 'Man, those rumors about the Six-Eared Macaque having incredible hearing must be true if he was able to hear that', you thought. Little did you know that he already knew your name despite his hearing.

However, from that day on your life's daily routine changed. Wukong would ask for a different order everyday, testing out everything from the menu to see if it was even worth buying more than one specific order everytime. And any food he didn't like he would give to MK to try out. His adoptive son was actually pretty fond of the restaurant's food, to the point where he would either go eat there by himself, with friends or come eat with his dad. Most of the time the triad would only ask to grab pick-up food, but there were days where members would actually eat by the tables. You weren't sure if they only asked for pick-up as to not scare away any non-triad customers, but it did seem to invite in more people each day.

Wukong would sometimes also stay at the restaurant, specifically eating at the same table as you while you were packing up other peoples' orders. He started off pretty nervous during your first conversations, but he quickly became a lot more casual with you. Even his flirting attempts became a lot smoother and would easily catch you off-guard, leaving you a blushing mess everytime. Meanwhile you decided to show him how to create his own little army of aluminum animals.

It might take a while to get you to fully fall for him again, but he would do anything to be with you forever. Even if simple little animal crafts would bring you two closer step by step. Reincarnation or not, he loved you until the day he dies...

Which is saying a lot in his case.

> Masterlist <

#lmk x reader #lmk triad au #triad au #sun wukong x reader #monkey king x reader #lmk sun wukong #lmk sun wukong x reader #bro it's almost midnight

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venturelovebot · 21 days

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A/N: It's the sequel to part one! I've been feeling kinda down lately so i made this one extra fluffy and special for everyone out there going through a rough time as well. I hope y'all enjoy! Writing this gave me so much serotonin! ( ´͈ ◡ `͈ )

Premise: G/N!insecure!reader draws a new tattoo for their crush teehee,,, just trust me when I say it's pure cotton candy fluff!!!

Warnings: None! Pure fluff!

"It'll be okay. Just call me if you need help." Illari turns away from you and opens the door.

You gulp softly as she turns the knob. At the door was your date– just as cute as the day you first saw them. A gentle pink lights up your cheeks and you feel yourself involuntarily begin to smile.

"Y/N! Didn't think you'd be here!" Sloane jokes, taking a seat across from you on the floor.

You both now sit facing your coffee table with traditional art supplies scattered about on its surface.

"I guess I could say the same for you." You reply awkwardly, unsure if it was the proper thing to say or not. Your circuits are fried from anxiety.

"Please, I'm not that bad!" Sloane laughs lightly. "I may of slept in but I wouldn't want to miss a first date!"

First date... it feels unreal.

Illari locks the door behind her before you're both left alone. In the distance you can hear the thunder rumbling from an oncoming storm... it's the only noise you can hear besides the deafening silence.

"I-I can turn on a movie if you want!" You offer, "Or maybe some music if you prefer?"

"Music sounds good! What do you like to listen to anyway?" They ask, taking a peak at your phone.

"Oh– mostly [favorite genre]. It helps me focus when I'm drawing." You tap on your work playlist and set your phone aside.

"I can dig that!"

The atmosphere begins to lighten and you exhale inaudibly. Your fingers glaze over your drawing supplies before you pick up a blue pencil for sketching outlines. Sloane sits across from you with their eyes glued on your movement.

"So... did you decide on what you wanted for your tattoo yet?" You ask.

Sloane takes out their phone and lays it down on the table. They show you a picture of a skull adorned with a ceramic flower crown that appeared to be on display in a museum somewhere.

"Last year I got to visit this archeological museum in Greece. I thought this was so cool!" They explain. You take a good look at it.

Immediately you begin by tracing a circle and sketching out the guide lines. Slowly you begin adding more details. First one socket, then two. The nose was third. Last came the mouth and teeth.

"Wow. That didn't take long at all..." Sloane slides over to your side to get a better look. You feel your face warm up as their knee gently touches yours.

"It's just the rough draft. We still have a lot of work to do." You lay the paper back down on the table. "We still need to decide on the flowers."

"Hmm... well, what're your favorite flowers?"

"My favorites? Why mine? This is your tattoo. It should be your favorite flowers."

There was a moment of silence as the two of you thought together. Another rumble of thunder in the distance as the sunset was covered up in a blanket of gray clouds.

"What about chrysanthemums? You said you saw this skull in Greece. Chrysanthemums are very popular there." You begin to sketch out the flowers along the top of the skull.

Sloane watches as your drawing slowly began to come together. Your fingers moved elegantly across the paper as you added more and more detail to your sketch. There was something fascinating about the way you did things that had them utterly engrossed with the whole process. Anyone else could do the same thing and it would bore them to tears– but not you. Something about you was different. Their heart softly pounded in their chest as you steadily continued your work.

"There. What do you think of it so far?" You ask, handing them the paper again.

There were no words. The silence from them made you anxious.

"You don't like it?" You frowned and bit your lip realizing you probably shouldn't have said that.

"It's beautiful. Of course I like it–" Sloane's face flushed from nervousness. "No, that's not true... I love it! You're crazy talented!"

You couldn't help but laugh. Sloane's gentle pink face turned bright vermillion– they had never been more flustered in front of another human being before. Not in a long time.

"I mean that!"

You tuck some of your hair behind your ear and glance away.

"I believe you. I've just never seen you so red before."

They place their hand on their face in an attempt to hide themself. "I–" They stop talking before they can embarrass themself further.

"Hm?" You teased them by poking their cheek. You simply couldn't help yourself this time.

Then you're caught by complete surprise when Sloane brings their hand to cup yours and place it on their warm face. Their other hand moves from their mouth and they look at you in complete seriousness.

"I mean it– you're different. I haven't ever felt like this before. It's weird– I love to talk to you. I love spending time with you. You're talented and interesting in every way–" They pause for a moment.

All is still. The only sound is the soft music playing in the background and the soft pattering of rain against the nearby windows.

"I mean it! I... I like you, okay? I mean it." They confess.

"Oh." Your faces now share the same flustered red. "Wow."

"Well... I fucked up, huh...?" Their hand begins to move away from yours.

You cup their face with your other hand and move in closer. Before you could think you press your lips up against theirs and kiss them. It feels like an eternity passes before you slowly pull away.

"C-can you do that again?" Sloane's voice cracks. Their smile lights up their entire face.

You do as they ask and kiss them again.

"One more time...?" They beg.

You kiss them one more time before the two of you separate for good. Afterwards you couldn't help but glance at the floor in embarrassment as the shame hit you all at once.

"Thanks." Is the only thing they can muster.

"Please don't tell Illari, she'll never let this go." You plead.

"I won't tell if you don't." Sloane smirks, still trying to recover from the whole ordeal.

"Then... umm... let's get back to it."

"To what?" Their heart begins to pound again.

"To the tattoo."

"Oh. Yeah. That." They exhale softly in both relief and disappointment. They made a mental note to ask for more kisses in the future.

You begin the slow and arduous clean up process. You're extra careful to brush off loose eraser rubber in a way that doesn't disturb the rest of the drawing. Outlining with ink proved more difficult than usual as your hands noticeably shook from all of the excitement. You made sure every line was neat and fluid before scanning the drawing into your laptop for back up.

Neither of you talked for the remainder of the process, but the silence was a comfortable one this time. Outside the rain had steadily turned into a light drizzle.

"Do you want to color it with me? You can choose the colors, obviously."

"Would I?!" Sloane grinned before catching themself. "I mean... I would love to!" They add. They couldn't help but cringe internally from being so awkward.

"You're so cute," you smile. "I mean it." You echo the sentiment that was given to you earlier.

"Aww... stop it! You're making me blush!" They grab the black color pencil and get to work coloring before they face further embarrassment.

"That's the point." You tease them gently before joining them.

The two of you color in silence before Sloane grabs the yellow color pencil. They look back up at you.

"Say, Y/N, what's your favorite color?" They ask.

"Oh. Probably [favorite color]. Why?"

"I want to do our favorite colors for the flowers."

You smile... but only for a moment. "Are you sure, though? Not to be a downer but what if you regret it in a couple years? Or meet someone else? Or get tired of me?" You frown just thinking about it.

They grow serious for a moment. You're afraid you made them angry from the expression on their face.

"Y/N. I need you to remember this when I say it now, okay?" Sloane says.

You nod nervously.

"Nothing could ever make me regret this. Nothing could ever make me regret spending time with you tonight. Nobody could ever come close to making me feel as safe and welcome as you do."

You exchange glances with them for some time afterwards. The words linger in the air and you feel your heart fluttering as they reach out and hold your hand.

"I want to spend a lot more time with you. Not just tonight. I want to see you again. And again. And again. I never want to stop seeing you, actually." They swallow their nervousness harshly before continuing. "I want to wake up next to you someday. I want to make history together with you. I want people to see our bones in thousands of years and know that I loved spending time with you. Does that answer your questions?"

You're left absolutely speechless.

They grin. "I know I said I wanted to be a mummy but it's not worth it if we can't be in the same tomb together. You know what I mean?"

All at once you feel hot tears spilling out on your cheeks like a broken dam. Your arms wrap around Sloane and you bury your face into their chest. "Oh my God!" You cry, and they wrap their arms around you in support. They softly rub your back as you continue to helplessly sob into their shirt.

"Just like Pylades said. It's not rotten work if it's you." They quote.

The rain continues drizzling outside. All is quiet once more as they pull you into the most comforting hug you've ever been given in your entire life.

"Come on. Let's watch a movie together." They pick you up bridal style and lay you down on the couch. "What do you want to watch?"

"Hm... can we watch [favorite movie]?" You suggest.

They nuzzle their face into yours and give you a kiss on the cheek. "Sounds good to me!"

The finished skull artwork lays unattended on the coffee table as the two of you snuggle underneath the cover of a soft blanket. They wrap themself around you carefully and nuzzle into you once again. Your head presses up against their chest and you listen quietly to their racing heart as you both gently descend into sleep.

Just outside, the rain has finally stopped.

#god help me but i might continue this...#venture x reader #venture overwatch #sloane cameron #overwatch x reader #overwatch x you #overwatch fanfiction #overwatch #overwatch 2

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smoooothoperator · 9 months

Text

Beautiful Stranger

11: Begin Again

Driver! Lando Norris x OC (Lily Barton)

Summer love, strangers to friends to lovers, Greece and Greek mythology references

Words: 3.3k

Masterlist

Official playlist

previous part | epilogue

a/n: so this is the end guys... But don't worry, you'll have a epilogue!!! The end was how you expected? Was something surprising? I read you!

Every type of feedback is very welcomed

13th of November

His birthday. He always liked to celebrate it. Since he was little his mom used to make him a birthday cake and invite some of his friends to his house, making a small party in the backyard of the house. They sang "Happy birthday" to him and then he blew the candles while they clapped.

But this year, even if it was the same and he could celebrate it with his family and friends, he didn't want to celebrate it. Because the person he loves is not here with him.

Last night he wrote another email. And she didn't reply, again.

He got out of the bed, leaving on it the blonde girl whose name he can't remember, and went to the kitchen. The sun is rising yet, it's too early.

How could he fell so low? At which moment did he decide that being with different girls could make him forget about her, if the only thing he does is compare them to her? And the worst part of it was that every time he did that, he ended up writing her an email in the middle of the night with the girl he took to his bed sleeping next to him

"How am I lying to?" He sighed, rubbing his face with a hand.

The truth is that he was losing hope. He was giving up slowly. And it scared him more than not having her forgiveness and living his whole life knowing that he let her go because of a mistake he made.

"Hey" the girl purred, walking out of the bedroom wearing his shirt. "Smells nice"

"Mhm" he nodded, taking a sip of the tea. "I think you should leave"

"Why? You didn't have fun?" she chuckled.

"No" he said, looking away. "And I have to take a plane. So if you would leave soon, I would appreciate it"

"What an asshole" she groaned, turning around and going to his bedroom to get dressed with the clothes she came with.

He didn't see her walk out, but the front door being slammed after she left made him know she wasn't happy. Neither was he.

Sometimes he imagined how his life would be if he never lied to her. They could be calling all days, asking how their day was. Lando liked the idea of her watching his races on the TV at her house, or while she was working on her office at home. Ne would be sending her VIP paddock passes in case she wanted to come to a race and when she came he would always show her around and explain everything related to his work.

But those are only things he creates in his head. Lies he tells to himself trying to not think about what he did.

"Happy birthday, muppet" Carlos chuckled through the phone.

"Oh, hey… thanks, mate" he sighed.

"Are you okay?" he sighed, making him bite his lip and smile weakly.

"Yeah, yeah… just a year older" he laughed sadly. "I'm okay"

"I'll see you later? Your father asked me if I was going to your birthday party at their house" Carlos said.

"Oh, sure" he smiled weakly. "Yeah…"

"Okay, tell me what's wrong, Lando" he sighed. "I can feel that you are not being yourself"

"You think so?" Lando asked, letting a sarcastic laugh get out of his chest. "I haven't been myself since I came back from Greece, Carlos. And you know why"

"You should forget her. This time for real. She won't answer you"

"I'm not ready for that" he sighed. "I just… she was the one, mate. I swear. In such a short time I loved her so much"

"But you decided to ruin it, Lando" he sighed. "You didn't make it work properly"

"Not you too, please…"

"No, Lando. Stop complaining and listen to me. I think I have every right to say what I'm going to say" Carlos sighed, making him nod even if he couldn't see that. "I told you from the start that what you did was stupid. You could have told her your name without creating a lie knowing that she didn't recognize you. But no, you decided to play the immature card and lie to her and to the whole town where you stayed. The second stupid thing you did was fall for her and not tell the truth explaining things with time, just how she did. She trusted you and the only thing you did was give her false trust"

"You think that I don't know that, Carlos?" he frowned, holding the phone tightly. "You don't think that I regret lying to her? I know I acted immature, you don't have to repeat it"

"Then act like the adult you are and mature" he frowned. "Settle down, find someone and marry her later"

"I already found her" he frowned. "And I won't give up on her"

He ended the call, disappointed because one of my best friends doesn't support him.

He might be selfish, but the only one that knows when he found the love of his life it's him.

After finishing breakfast, he grabbed his backpack and got everything ready to leave, making the bed and making sure that everything was in order.

How can he be happy the day of his birthday knowing that she won't be there?

"Fuck…" he sighed, chucking the email and watching that there's no reply, again.

The plane flight felt longer than it was. He wasn't excited to go back home, to meet family and friends and spend time with them.

But maybe Carlos was right. Maybe… maybe he should forget her, find someone else and have a real start, without lies and always telling the truth. Maybe he should close that chapter of his life and start a new one, make himself a new man.

He kept his phone muted all day, not wanting to be disturbed and deleting all the notifications he had on his phone.

All the notifications, the new email with a reply included between them, sending it to the spam.

When the plane landed, he saw his friend there to welcome him, holding a big paper with the letters "Happy Birthday" on it. Lando smiled weakly and walked towards him, hugging him tightly.

"It has been a long time since you celebrated your birthday here" Max smiled him, hugging his shoulders and walking with him towards his car. "How are you feeling?'

"Like shit, mate… like an actual shit" he smiled weakly.

The way towards his family house wasn't long, letting him look out of the window and watch all the houses he remembers from his childhood, one of them being too special for him.

"Do you remember that house from the end of the street?" Lando asked his friend.

"The one of Miss Rose?" Max frowned looking at his side. "Yeah"

"I always wanted to buy it when I was little" he smiled weakly. "Thinking I could grow old on that house and have a family there"

"Mhm" his friend nodded.

"I… should I give up?" he mumbled, playing with his fingers nervously. "Should I forget Lily and start a new chapter of my life? Why do I feel my heart being squeezed by the thought of that?"

"Because that, my friend, is how love works" Max smiled weakly. "I know you fucked up pretty bad. But love is love. I know some people tell you that you should move on and continue with your life. But I know you, mate… I know you too much to know that you are not like that. That when you fall for someone you fall so hard that you don't care about being hurt later"

"Then why are people telling me to give up?" he frowned. "Carlos called me this morning and told me to find someone else. I can't! I can't imagine my life without her"

"Can I ask you something?" he said, stopping the car at the traffic light. "Four months have passed since you left Greece, and you had a lot of free time while not having races. Why did you never think about going there and talk with her instead of sending her emails?"

"I…"

"You say that you miss her and that you love her. But you never tried to go back to her" Max frowned.

"Because I wanted to give her space" he mumbled, trying to convince himself that it was the right answer.

"Did you?" he asked. "Or was it that you were afraid of her reaction?"

Lando looked at his friend surprised. He never wanted to admit it. He had dreams, nightmares, about her saying that she hates him, that she doesn't love him anymore, that she regrets everything. He was afraid of facing her again.

"I don't know" Lando sighed.

"I think it's time to figure it out, mate" Max sighed. "Because sleeping around with girls after going to parties is not the right way of forgetting her or whatever you wanted to get with that"

When Max parked the car in front of his family house, Lando didn't know what to do. His friend is right, he should.go for what he actually wants.

"Come on, everyone is waiting for you"

He walked with Max inside of the house, smiling when he saw everyone there to surprise him, receiving all the hugs they wanted to give him.

"Hey" Carlos smiled weakly, walking towards him. "I'm sorry about this morning…"

"No, you were right" Lando interrupted him. "I have to settle down. And I'll do it,. you'll see"

Carlos smiled proud and hugged his friend, patting his back.

Everyone sat on the table, getting ready for lunch while talking.

Lando smiled looking around, watching his family and friends. He couldn't help but feel a stab on his chest not finding her face there, but he has his friends and loved ones near, and a plan working on his brain.

After his family sang to him, he closed his eyes and made a wish, making his smile grow a little.

"I wish she gives me a second chance and we could live on Miss Rose's house until the end of times"

He blew off the candles and smiled looking around, grabbing the knife and cutting it to share with his friends.

After eating, everyone went to the backyard. Some of them were playing football, others were sitting on chairs and drinking beers.

He looked at his brother, how he played with his daughters Mila and Athena, making Lando smile.

He wants the same Oliver has. He wants a family to love and build a future. He wants Lily to build a future with him.

He's decided. Once the season finishes, he will go to find her. He will go and talk with her like two adults. He will ask her to be his, to create something only they can know how to build.

26th of November

He felt a weight get out of his shoulders once he crossed the finish line.

His second half of the season was hard, finishing with points but not as high as he wanted.

But he didn't care anymore.

He knows that once he gets out of the car he will be free for the rest of the year. He knows that once he takes off the racing suit he will be free of work responsibilities and he can do whatever he wants.

He took off his helmet and looked up at the night sky, taking a deep breath and smiling.

He knows that once he leaves the hotel, he will take a plane that will land on Athens and then another plane that will land on Corfu. He knows it will be a long day, but for her he has enough energy.

"What are you going to do during the winter break?" Oscar asked him, walking towards the McLaren hospitality after their media duties.

"I'll go get my girl back" he smiled proudly.

Everything was perfect in his mind. Too perfect that he never thought about things that could go wrong. He didn't even reserve an apartment for him to stay, thinking that she could open her apartment for him.

The moment he landed in Greece, he was tired. His body was begging him to stop and rest, to recover energy. But his heart was beating too fast, he was too excited to be here and find the love of his life again. So he fought against the tiredness and catched the second plane and the ferry that could bring him near the town.

Once he got out of the taxi in front of Nora's restaurant, he smiled looking around. This place feels like home, only because of a person.

"Lando? What are you doing here?"

He turned around and smiled at the old woman, walking towards her with his suitcase next to him.

"I came for Lily"

"Lily…" she smiled sadly. "I told her you would come… but she didn't listen to me"

"Is she working? Or she's at the apartment?" Lando asked, looking around.

"Oh, lovely boy… she's no longer here"

"W-what?" he frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"She left a week ago, Lando" she smiled weakly, hugging him.

"Why? I… I came to apologize. To talk with her" he frowned, confused.

"I think you came too late, kid…"

Exactly. He came too late.

"Where is she?" he mumbled. "Nora, please… where is she?"

The old woman smiled weakly, grabbing his hand and walking him inside her restaurant, making sure he grabbed his suitcase.

He let himself fall on a chair, not understanding what was happening.

Lily, the Lily that loves Greece, left.

"Why did she leave?" he asked her, confused.

"Because she faced her own fears" Nora sighed. "And I see that you did the same"

"Yeah but… too late" he laughed sadly. "Too late… God, if I only came when Max told me"

"Why did you decide to come, Lando?" she asked, placing a cup of coffee in front of him.

"Because I wanted to see her. To apologize… to ask her to be mine" he mumbled.

"Why did you stop writing? Why did you never answer her? That's why she left, kid. Because she felt that you moved on"

"What? Answer her? She never answered me!" he frowned.

"She sent you an email for your birthday. You didn't read it?" she frowned confused.

Lando frowned, grabbing his phone and searching the email. He searched for dates, for her name. But it didn't show up.

"Oh…" he frowned when he opened the spam. "She replied…"

"Yes, she did" Nora smiled weakly. "She read all your emails, she wore your clothes all the time"

All this time he thought Lily didn't want him. Everything he wanted was to see her, to talk with her and hold her.

"God, I'm such an idiot" he groaned.

"Here" she smiled, leaving a paper next to his cup, the same gesture she did when he left four months ago. "If you truly love this girl, please do things right. If you love her and feel ready to tell her the truth, go there"

December of 2023

The moment she left the town she was scared. She was scared of facing a new reality and starting again.

Four months ago she imagined leaving this town for a reason, for a person. She wanted to leave this town because he asked her to go live with him. Not because his lie made her open her eyes and realize that she needed to start again.

When she left Parga, the first thing she did was sell the engagement ring, making sure to have extra money. The next thing was to sell the old apartment she had in London, closing the open chapter she had of her past.

And now, in her new apartment in the middle of Firenze, she could start again.

The boxes full of the furniture she had in London, suitcases with clothes and her art she brought from Greece and the new items she bought were on the floor of the flat, waiting to be placed on a perfect place for them.

She decided to start studying at an art academy where she can improve on her own art. She rented a small store where she can sell handmade things, with all the shells she found in Greece and creating her own brand.

Lily was proud of herself. Of how she got out of that lie she was living in. Of how she knew she could do everything alone, without a man next to her.

But sometimes she finds herself, laying on her bed, dressed with his hoodies. They stopped smelling like him, and even if she bought his perfume, it wasn't the same. It didn't smell like him anymore. And it broke her heart just a little, knowing that losing his smell meant losing him too.

She used to check his social media, to see how he was doing. She even started watching races while she was in Greece, supporting him in silence.

Somewhere deep inside her wished he answered her. She kept checking her email, but there wasn't anything from him.she wished he went to Parga, but it was just an stupid wish.

She spent her birthday alone, buying herself a cake and blowing the candles after making her wish.

"I wish he was here holding me at night"

Firenze was cold in winter, making her wear hoodies and jumpers and keep her favorite dresses at the highest shelf of the wardrobe. Everytime she sees herself in a mirror, her mind goes back to her life in England, and it makes her shiver thinking about that.

The past is in the past. She can't change it, she won't change it. But what she can change is the future and the present, and she only hopes all her wishes come true.

That day, 6th of December, after eating her own birthday cake, she decided to take a walk around the city with a notebook and pencils in her bag, leaving her phone on the living room table.

Something she likes about that city is that no one will look at you while you sit on the stairs and draw what you were looking at. No one will question what you were doing, who you are. They will know immediately that you are someone that came to admire their place and capture its beauty on a notebook page.

"Buona sera" the lady of the coffee shop greeted her with a smile. "The same as always?"

"Yeah, thank you" she smiled.

She stopped lying to herself, being someone she's not. She wants to be authentic, true to her own essence.

After grabbing the cup of tea she walked out of the store, deciding to sit on a bench nearby and draw what she had in front of her, getting lost on every detail if it, losing the sense of time.

When she looked at the clock of her wrist she gasped. It's late and the next day she has class in the morning. So she collected everything and put it back in her bag, standing up and walking towards her apartment, listening to her music.

Opening the front door of the building she called the elevator, getting jsnjde if it and pressing the button of her floor, humming happily while holding the bag with her dinner.

What she didn't expect was to find a person sitting on the stairs next to her door, with a backpack on his lap and a suitcase next to her door.

"What…" she gasped when she stepped out of the elevator.

"I called but I heard you left the phone inside…" he said looking at her with a smile.

"You came…" she mumbled surprised, feeling how her heart started to beat fast, wanting to escape from her chest and join his heart.

"Happy birthday, my beautiful stranger" he smiled, standing up and looking at her, opening his arms for her.

taglist

@lestappenloverr @racinggirl @roni-midnights @livster8 @kakorrhaphiphobia @starkeyellow @celestialpierre @ophcelia @msliz @lorarri @ironmaiden1313 @imsorare @mycenterfold @im-an-overthinker @soosheee @karmabyfernando @landoyesrizz @sticksdoesart @beatricemiruna @nonameishere @flwr-stella @lordperceval-16 @arisainz

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dawnsleif · 1 year

Text

this is how you fall in love — tsukishima kei x fem!reader (5.2k words)

a very late entry for @zorotits (@/tsukina)'s 3k collab! — collab masterlist

synopsis: tsukishima kei is your first love, your second love, and the man you once thought would be your last love. marriage terrified you, and commitment scared him away. another story of childhood friends turned lovers turned enemies. how can you make things work?

warnings: some suggestive language and implied sex, nothing too explicit, though i would appreciate it if babies under 17 didn’t interact with this one. biological family trauma. mention of bruises. toxic behavior, complicated relationship. angst, hurt / comfort.

playlist (songs on loop when i was writing)

sun in his eyes. your first and fondest memory of tsukishima kei, back from when he was still your knight in shining armor, and you, his damsel in distress. an ironic scoff escapes your lips at the thought — how would he save you from himself? lately he has been the cause of your distress. how much things have changed.

all these years with him feel like a fever dream right now. you miss him, and rationality says you should hate him for hurting you over and over, for not taking all the chances you have given him to become a better lover. but you cannot just do that. when you think of kei, you can only picture golden, a ray of sunshine. you remember describing him in such an unlikely way. only a fool in love would portray kei so delicately. he is anything but warmth, yet he feels like home. to you. kei, your kei, is a palette of warm hues. you have held onto the way he cradles you in his embrace during passionate nights, and you have seen something akin to love pooling his gaze every time his lips meet yours.

a glass clinking against yours brings you back to the present. this wine leaves a bittersweet taste in your mouth. you feign an apologetic smile before looking up, ready to dismiss whoever is standing there. but before words leave your lips, a choked gasp does.

“why didn’t you tell me you’re back from your honeymoon?”, the intruder chuckles at your accusing tone.

“if i were to tell you, it wouldn’t be a surprise. congratulations, little one”, you scowl at his reply, swatting his hand away when he tries to ruffle your hair. some things may change, but others will stay the same, just like how tsukishima akiteru will never stop babying you.

“thank you, ‘teru”, you suppose this is not too bad. after breaking up with kei for the umpteenth time, work turned into the favorite subject you could pour your love into. at least it wouldn’t break your heart. it seems that your effort paid back, as you find yourself standing in the middle of this gala as a representative of the law firm you work under.

akiteru knows you hate small talk, thus he lets background music fill your silence, and finds a chance to leave you alone when his wife comes around. they are an endearing couple, you cannot help but envy them.

you notice a man behind the pair, whose eye color is similar to kei’s, maybe a tad bit darker. he stands up and walks in your direction, puzzled. a faint blush tints your cheeks at his closeness, perhaps your blurred stare was too insistent.

“can i help you, miss?”, damn, he has a nice voice, not too deep, not too coy. his muscular frame, imposing, is a desirable sight too. ignoring your first impression of him, his vague resemblance with kei, he looks like fine one-night-stand material. you want to smack yourself for such shameless thoughts. it must be the alcohol. get yourself together, y/n, you are here for work.

“has anyone ever told you how pretty hazel eyes are?”, the stranger raises an eyebrow, entertained. his eyes are too dark to be hazel, you are probably mistaking him for someone else in your half-drunken state. a jerk who broke your heart, he dares to guess.

“you just did”, his response is followed by your giggles. you have a pretty laugh and kissable lips, he admits to himself after checking you out. don’t get him wrong, he is not planning to make any move on you, and knows better than to take advantage of someone who cannot consent.

“okay, mr. hazel eyes”, you are somewhat sober, at least, sober enough to not call him kei, “may i have your name?”.

“yuuji. terushima yuuji. and you are?”, he finds you amusing. a woman clad in such an expensive dress must hold some status, but you look nothing like other people in this hall. you seem lost, broken, vulnerable. almost like a deer in headlights. he wonders why.

“y/n. tsukishima y/n”, the name tastes more bittersweet than the wine, you note. it was so close to becoming your legal name.

a feminine voice calls your companion, and you furrow your brows. what have you gotten yourself into? a man with a date? seriously, y/n, what the hell?

“duty calls, y/n. i’m my sister’s date for the night”, yuuji makes sure to hand his number in before making his way to his sibling, and cackles when you sigh in relief at the mention of ‘sister’. you really aren’t in the mood to deal with jealous girlfriends.

after waving him goodbye, a sole glance at your surroundings urges you to get out of here. fancy dresses and tailored suits. perfect smiles and polite reverences. socializing with high-class society was never your forte. you hate their rules and unhealthy obsession with perfectionism. hypocrisy and play-pretending remind you of that woman you used to call mother.

there is a secluded balcony, where you finally breathe in some fresh air and call your coworker. your words are still a bit slurred, and she is quick to understand you really need to call it a day. done with playing cinderella tonight, you are craving the weight of your duvet and the comfort of your bed.

the jingle of your keys echoes in your apartment. you turn on the lights, looking around, your eyes frantically searching for any hint of kei. nothing. it is a cozy place, but it feels empty without him.

waking up the next morning with tear-stained cheeks, puffy eyes, and a headache is something you should have expected when you let yourself wallow in misery. a look in the mirror has you grimacing. who is that? you cannot head to work with those eyebags. bless your concealer and makeup skills. the person smiling back at you is recognizable now. it's time to girlboss, y/n.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

responsibilities come with your promotion, you are busier than ever, and days pass by quickly. your routine stays the same: food, sleep, work. it’s as if you don’t really remember how to live outside of that if he’s not by your side, but at least you are not neglecting your body’s needs. it’s only when akiteru calls you to go back to tsukishima’s that you realize how detached you have been from the outer world.

“ma!”, you have missed her dearly, she has always been there to nurse your heart when others break it, be it your biological mother, or kei. tsukishima’s mother welcomes you in her embrace. she also is home to you. this woman took you under her wing when you were a helpless little girl, and made it her goal to raise you as a fighter, having her own children protecting you along the way.

she was a teacher in the nursery school your biological mother had enrolled you in, and noticed something about you was off within the first days. when parents came to pick up their kids at school, you were always standing on the corner, watching their interactions with sparkling eyes. you always were the last kid to be picked up, your mom would show up faking an apologetic smile, but you didn’t seem too upset. you enjoyed the teacher’s company, and she, too, grew fond of you.

when you came to school with alarming bruises, she decided it was time to take matters in her hands. some calls to authorities, lots of paperwork, and a couple of years later, your biological parents were deprived of your custody. tsukishima’s mother treated you like a child of her own, she gave you a family, and the maternal love you didn’t imagine you would ever receive.

you have found yourself considering, sometimes, how your life would be if ma had never figured out you were being abused. perhaps you would not have met kei. that would have saved your heart, but would also mean giving up all the love from your found family.

“you don’t look too good”, she has asked you to stay and chat with her after dinner. you offer a sheepish smile at her observation, nothing ever has escaped from her eyes. after all, she was the one who discovered the seed of your love for kei planted in a young heart. it must have been her mother's instinct.

“i miss kei”, she is taken aback by your serenity. you don’t look like someone who just got her heart broken. right, it’s not the first time. damn that son of hers.

“he’ll be back”, you nod at the mother's reply. kei always comes back to piece your heart together, just to stomp on it and leave again. your fear of abandonment and your only lover have taught you to love until it hurts, until your heart aches. you love too fully, not knowing when to stop. perhaps your love suffocated him. maybe it was all too much.

“i met someone who looks like kei”, a change of topic. your voice drifts off in melancholy.

“but you aren't going to see him again”, she assumes right. if there's someone who might know you better than you do, it must be her. you don't wish to reach out. his pretty eyes captivated you for a blink of time, but they are not hazel, not kei's eyes. and it wouldn't be fair for yuuji to be used as a substitute. you don't want him to get the wrong idea, nor can you really bring yourself to kiss anyone who is not kei. it's not like you haven't tried that before.

things will eventually fall back to their place, she promises before sending you off. her words have always been more convincing than others'.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

dim lights, alcohol, and a crowded room. when you see him again, a few months later, your mind takes you back to the night he made you a woman. the atmosphere was similar to tonight's; the lights were somewhat brighter and there wasn't as much sexual tension. the both of you were in a rebellious phase, and wanted to try what they had told you was exclusively for couples. a taste of the forbidden. it was sweet, he wanted more, and you wanted him. your relationship went from childhood friends to something you wouldn't quite label as friends with benefits. you caught feelings. and he run away. that was the first time.

back then, ma wasn’t too surprised at kei’s sudden disappearance and your upset state. she stayed by your side, not pressuring you to talk, and you found solace in her presence. you knew that conversation would have to take place eventually, so you spoke. you told her about your love for her youngest son, how he made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy, how you were afraid that he would leave you permanently. you had expected tsukishima’s mother to be disappointed in you, but instead, she held you close and advised you to give yourself some time. you still remember to this day how she told you love is not supposed to be too complicated — what’s easy is right.

“y/n”, your name sounds so delicate, so doting, in his voice. his greeting gives you an excuse to check him out and disguise your zoning out. he looks tired, but not too changed. ever since he has started to work in the museum, he requests doing research abroad every time you two break up. you have already lost count of how many times this has happened.

“welcome back, we can catch up later. i have to go”, that's your offer to solve things in bed, like you always do. bite marks, hickeys, and sex. he hasn't learnt any alternative way to show an ounce of love. you cannot keep pondering on his way of romance, you are here with your coworkers to celebrate a win on a difficult case.

he doesn’t stop you, but pulls you in for a kiss. he still tastes the same, addictive — strawberry gum flavored, and the faintest hint of cigarettes. you had told him you liked it better when his kisses tasted like strawberries. he hasn’t forgotten. your lips draw a satisfied smile before he lets you go.

“your boyfriend?”, someone asks when you sit back. people are unnecessarily nosy sometimes, but you are in a nice mood tonight, so you entertain them.

“my ex”, you feel his gaze on you, and don't hesitate in clarifying their assumption. you haven't made up yet, so he's still your ex. your colleagues look astonished, but you aren’t going to elaborate on your love life.

despite the loud music, kei overhears your response, and for some reason beyond his understanding, he is not precisely happy. his attention all focused on every move of yours, you look captivating in that black dress. as though you have noticed his possessive stare, you offer a coquettish smile. if he wants people to misunderstand your complicated relationship, two can play this game.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

when you wake up the following morning with a sore body, something feels different. you try to sit up, just to feel the grip on your waist tighten. kei is still here. wait. what? why is he still here? any sign of sleepiness retreats, and you hold your breath, waiting for him to get up.

“morning”, his hoarse voice snaps you out of your trance, it’s unfair how ethereal this man looks. he stretches, lazily, and doesn’t budge at your questioning gaze. you are used to him leaving after using your body. waking up to his hold on you and the innocence emanating from his sleeping figure is all new. which game is he playing now?

“kei”, you fight your urge to huff in annoyance when he hums in acknowledgment, “what is this?”.

“i thought we were alright now?”, heavens, his audacity will be the death of you.

“does this seem alright to you? is it really alright to leave and come back as if nothing happened?”, tears are welling up in your eyes, and his silence only serves to fuel your anger, “as if you didn’t break my heart again? what am i to you? what about us? tell me, kei. what the fuck is this game you are on? i hate it. i hate you”.

“y/n, calm down”, it sounds like a warning.

you take some deep breaths, arranging your thoughts. you guys never had an actual talk revolving around your relationship. in fact, you don’t even know why you are demanding answers from him.

“are you going to leave again?”, you aren’t sure if you want to hear his reply.

“do you want me to?”, he has mastered the art of turning the tables on. yes, a meek voice insists in your mind, he isn’t committing to this relationship. no, a desperate voice screams in your heart, you cannot afford another heartbreak.

“no. can we talk about this? please”, you cling to your blanket, in search of comfort.

“i apologise. didn’t know i hurt you so much”, he sounds more sincere than he has ever been, and he reaches your hand, a thumb mindlessly caressing it while he reassures you, “didn’t mean to hurt you. i’m sorry. would never do that on purpose”.

“i know, kei”, he might not have handled things the best way, he has a sharp tongue, and he probably excels in running away, but he would never hurt you on purpose.

tsukishima kei has always adored y/n. that’s a fact.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

life seems to be back on track after you confronted him about your conflicted feelings. you agreed on staying as friends, just friends, no benefits, until everything gets clearer. kei still often graces you with his presence, and there has been a subtle change; you feel like he is back for real.

it just so happens that fate is a player, it tries to block your way to make up with him. but this time, you are two grown ups not willing to fall victim to miscommunication.

“you were saying?”, his furrowed brows, tiny pout, and rougher voice make you feel some kind of way. it’s a twisted feeling, you know. but you love it when he is jealous.

“he is no one, kei. you should have listened to ma’s whole sentence”, he hung up before poor mom could explain the situation.

“that’s not the point, i’ll call her back later”, you chuckle at his sheepishness and deflated tone. his expression looks exactly like the one he had many years ago, when he was caught sneaking candies for you.

“you were abroad, i met someone at the gala after my promotion. yuuji terushima, mr. hazel eyes. he looked like you”, you recall the encounter.

his face shifts after hearing the name. wasn’t terushima the captain from that school in miyagi? they don’t really look alike, he thinks.

“i almost surrendered, but…”, you hesitate.

“but?”, he questions.

“but i’m rational enough to tell i don’t want anyone but you”, there, it’s finally out. a weight lifted off your shoulders. or heart.

kei exhales, relieved. his mind was running wild with all the possible ways you could have ended your sentence, and for a moment, he panicked. he knows it’s the right time to out his thoughts too. if anything, he is not going to lose you over unspoken feelings.

“i love you so much it scares me”, it’s raw emotion, but his stance does not waver at all, “i didn’t mean to run away, but after i did the first time, avoiding this talk seemed more appropriate. it was easier. but i don’t want to lose you, y/n. just give me a chance to say i love you, please”.

an ability you have not acquired yet is one that would have you denying his requests — you just don’t know how to say no when he asks so nicely. and besides, this is the moment you have been waiting for ever since your relationship started to pave way on the romantic side, even when you couldn’t tell lust and love apart. you nod, giving him an opportunity to be back, secretly hoping this will be the definitive.

“i want to take things slowly”, you make it clear from the start to avoid more misunderstandings, “smothering you in love will probably scare you, and i don’t want to force you to commit so early. let’s fall in love, all over again”.

“thank you”, he appreciates your thoroughness. after so much damage, taking baby steps presents itself as the safest option, “let’s fall in love, all over again”.

tsukishima kei will learn to love you right. that’s a promise.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

“so you are dating her for real this time?”, in an extended family dinner, someone is brave enough to inquire. you don’t give it any importance, no offense is taken. it’s only obvious that, after witnessing your boyfriend’s more tamed attitude, people are getting curious.

“yes, i am. you have a problem with that?”, his pressed lips and twitching brow show how much impertinent questions are testing his patience. he knows he has made some mistakes in the past, acquaintances’ constant reminders are not needed.

you reach for his hand under the table, and give it a tiny squeeze. his expression softens, and his demeanor relaxes. you are here. you don’t care about what they are saying. that’s enough for him.

“they are grown ups now. just let them be”, your interaction doesn’t go unnoticed by tsukishima’s mother. she holds back a joyful smile before intervening in the conversation, “i’m sure y/n doesn’t want to dwell in the past, and kei is trying to become better for her”.

her mom instinct is scarily accurate.

when fight or flight make an appearance in your relationship, you can tell how much things have changed. flight had always been his default response. this time, though, he is ready to fight, for you, for your love. he wants things to work out, he wants to love you right.

people you have met after you two became a stable couple think your love is that of a fairy tale’s. how naive of them. being with kei tsukishima is challenging, as most would say. they aren’t ready to endure his distant surface and explore the most intricate sides of his internal world. you are his exception, he would tell with the most subtle hint of pride.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

golden rays of sunlight filter through your shared apartment’s curtains, and reflect on kei’s pupils, you experience a déjà vu. that year, after your biological parents lost their custody, tsukishima’s mother took you to their home, where you first met him. even at sunset, the last rays of sunlight still lingered, kissing his delicate features goodbye. back then, the first smile he had directed at you was radiant, and your young heart already knew he would become someone important to you.

“you are staring again”, he is staring back at you, a glint of mischievousness in his hazel eyes.

“mother nature and whoever is in charge of creation have always favored you”, it’s a mindless comment, but it piques his interest.

“how so?”, he has a slight idea of what it could be, but still insists on hearing you elaborate.

“come on, kei! don’t act as if you didn’t know how pretty you are”, your small huff earns his cheekiest grin. he has always liked praise, especially if it comes from you.

“you should talk more, you know? it’s rare to hear you say nice things”, he is such a tease.

“and it’s unfair that you are asking for praise when literally everyone would worship you”, you pause for a second, thinking your words through, “i take that back. they would worship you as long as you kept your mouth shut. not everyone likes that sharp tongue of yours”.

“but you like it”, his cocky smirk is suggesting all the possible uses of that sharp tongue of his, all for your enjoyment. your cheeks flare bright red, and you move away, putting some distance between your bodies.

your phone rings, saving you from further embarrassment, and you glare at him before picking it up. in response, he chuckles, unamused.

kei watches as you speak excitedly, loses himself in the way your starry eyes blink, and how your head tilts a little while pondering, and that sweet smile of yours. you are perfect. he doesn’t think much before pecking your lips. you gasp, caught off guard, and your interlocutor inquires if you are in trouble. it’s nothing, you say, and your boyfriend’s smile grows wider — oh, he’s going to have so much fun.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

kei is not a huge fan of physical touch, but does anything for you. words of affirmation are a negative too, he is not really vocal about his affection. gift-giving gives him a headache, he is not good at guessing your preferences, unless you had mentioned them before. acts of service is a somewhat unexplored territory. so that leaves only one option. and, then, one day, you come to the realization that kei’s main love language is, effectively, quality time.

perhaps he is trying to make up for all the lost time and wasted opportunities, or it is simply because he does not like when others interrupt his time with you. you don’t know that. what you know, though, is how good it feels to be in his company. your phones turned off, the doors locked. the outer world does not matter when it’s only tsukishima kei and y/n in their little safe space.

“kei?”, it’s barely a whisper, checking if he’s still awake. he turns around, and you catch a glimpse of his hazel eyes in the moonlight. they don’t look as bright as when they are under the sun, but they are very pretty in the dark too.

he wraps an arm around your waist, hums softly to encourage you to keep talking.

“when did you know you were in love?”, it’s curiosity, and maybe, just maybe, your need for reassurance. he notices the slightest waver of your voice, and doesn’t hesitate to hold you closer. he wants you to feel how important you are, how much you mean to him.

“after our first time”, he is met with your skeptical stare. it’s hard to believe he has harbored feelings for you since the beginning.

“really?”, you don’t want to question him, but the words escape before your mind can even process them. you look at him with apologetic doe eyes, he brushes it off with a gentle smile.

“really”, a firm tone leaves no room for doubt, “i ran away like a coward, but have always loved you. i suppose it had to do with the fear of not knowing how to love you properly, or fearing mom’s reaction, or not being enough for you. i don’t know, but i owe you an apology for leaving you behind”.

your hands tentatively reach his face in the dark, and you press your lips against his. it’s a delicate kiss, a vessel of all the unsaid words, a taste of apologies and forgiveness.

“sweet dreams, kei”, you have forgiven him long ago.

tsukishima kei has always been enough.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

the sky is gray, rain is pouring down fiercely by the end of your shift. it has been a long day at work, and the weather just worsens your gloomy mood. you step out of the building, cursing yourself for trusting the forecast and abandoning your umbrella at home.

“isn’t that your ex?”, a coworker nudges you, and speaks not so discreetly.

“he’s my boyfriend. if you will excuse me”, you draw a polite smile, leave him speechless, and make your way towards kei. even in his work suit, he looks handsome.

“miss girlfriend, do you need a ride home?”, his smug smile indicates he has overheard your exchange with that colleague.

“you could have waited inside”, he ignores your mutter, taking the pilot seat, “it’s not like i don’t recognise your car”.

kei is used to your fits on bad days, and lets you act bratty. you complain about snobby clients, a lost case, the wall color of the company’s newest meeting room. he frees one hand to take yours, sight still focused on the road ahead.

sorry, you murmur. don’t worry about it, his grasp is comforting.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

“you have changed”, akiteru makes a casual comment, standing beside his brother on the porch. the youngest sibling and you are here to visit and help ‘teru with baby-sitting his firstborn while his wife is on vacation to her hometown.

“how bad is it?”, kei shows a lopsided smile. the irony of akiteru pointing out his transformation when he isn’t one who suddenly announced fatherhood. but to be fair, you guys should have expected so from a married man.

“it’s not bad. haven’t you noticed how you seem to radiate joy?”, ‘teru is quick to explain in detail at the other’s astonished expression, “i used to like how you were because you are my brother, but now you have really grown into someone i’m proud of. facing your feelings and tying loose up ends with y/n shows how much you have matured over time. i must admit you are not a child anymore”.

“thank you, ‘teru”, he fails to hold back a pleased smile, turns around to conceal it and checks up on you.

akiteru excuses himself to go inside and make dinner, leaving you guys alone with the child. kei approaches you. it’s sweet seeing you cradling a baby; he used to be afraid of commitment, but now, after seeing you with his niece, a warm feeling settles in his chest. he even fantasizes about a child of his own, with you.

“isn’t she adorable?”, you hand him the baby, whose tiny arms are reaching for her uncle. kei holds her with utmost gentleness, and nods in agreement. his heart melts a little when the little one nuzzles against the crook of his neck.

eighteen year old tsukishima kei thought commitment and happy ever afters were scary. now, twenty eight year old tsukishima kei thinks a family doesn’t sound so bad.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

love, as many things in this life, is a double-edged sword. you put the handle in his hands, and trust him to not aim the blade at your heart. your heart in his hands, and his, in yours. it’s a game, a bet of who is going to succumb first. who is going to betray who. you bet he is going to stay, and he knows you will too.

love also is butterflies in one’s stomach, what literature has been teaching you since a tender age. you have thought about how unfair it is to describe such a pure and long-lasting feeling with an ephemeral life. butterflies have their beauty, but they are short moments in time, and you don’t want your love to be that. you want a love that lasts.

love should not be too complicated, follow your heart, ma once said. back then, you weren’t quite sure of what she meant. you think you might be understanding now — you no longer feel butterflies wreaking havoc in your stomach, but you don’t love kei any less, and might even love him more than before. butterflies in one’s stomach is a myth, a warning of instability. true love is calmness, the assurance of having your beloved close. you don’t have to worry about falling into the traps of scheming, and just go along with what is to come. loving is easy.

love is a spark in your eyes, a smile on your face, a heartbeat. it’s when kei is around and, almost unconsciously, you feel happier. it’s when his sole presence makes you feel alive. love is hazel eyes, blond hair, and a grumpy pout. love, your love, is tsukishima kei.

↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-

kei keeps a paper with vows — he will not let you know about this until the day you guys decide to get married. you also don’t know about the engagement ring hidden in his pocket tonight.

“you have told me how pretty my eyes looked on our first meeting, but i have always wanted to tell you i prefer yours over mine — sunset looked more magical than ever in your eyes that evening.

(thank you, mom, for bringing us together and for looking after her when i was not there).

i have made mistakes, and i never expected you would let me come back. but you did. thank you for all the chances. i'm not the best at wording my feelings, but i have to tell you how much i love you.

when you told me ‘let’s fall in love , all over again’, i knew you would be the first and the last, the only right one. i would not want to commit to any romantic relationship if it’s not with you.

sharing morning coffees, waiting for you on rainy days and having your coworkers envy our relationship, watching how you take care of ‘teru’s baby, spending lazy weekends in bed.

the most mundane things have become better in your company. i guess this is how i knew i fell in love, again”.

note; ellow, thank you for reading! tsukki might be a bit ooc, apologies fot that, but i actually enjoyed working on this fic. he is just a baby who doesn't know how to word his feelings, but tries his best (especially for the vows). i don't have much to say, just happy valentine's, lovelies! <3

#tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x you #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei x you #tsukki x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines

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hauntedwitch04 · 1 year

Text

I hate that I love you

Nyx Acheron x Eris’ daughter!Reader

Words: about 2.4k words

Warning: a bit of smut but more talking about sexy times

Author’s note: HI love! I had this idea about Nyx and I really wanted to write this down, hope you like it. I want to dedicate this to @b7717 , always so sweet with me and she helped me putting ideas down for this story. I took inspiration from “Boyfriend” of Dove Cameron.

p.s. I think I’ll post a second part of this, because I feel like it isn’t finished like this

Requests are open I Ask

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You never liked dances, yet here you are, shining like the flame that burns in the deepest darkness and as powerful as the fire that burns whole cities.

A few weeks ago you received a letter where Lenox, the son of the High Lord of the Summer Court, invited you to his birthday party. You were very happy about this invitation, and even your father Eris could not help but be delighted and promise to accompany you to the party. You did not like the dances, however: too many people in a place too small to contain them, the music too loud and people shouting to be heard over the music and the general general commotion, in addition to the horrible discussions to be had with the various members of the Courts.

Another reason why you are not comfortable in this place is the presence of the son of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, Nyx, or rather the "pompous playboy who thinks he is better than everyone else."

When you were little you also got along very well, so much so that your father and Nyx had begun to be more civil to each other so that problems from the past would not interfere with their children; but as he grew up he became a snooty young man who thinks he is better than others and who believes that all girls fall at his feet with one word from him. Gradually you have begun to drift apart until you move on to insulting each other every time you see each other, in fact they generally try to keep you apart because they know you will end up beating each other up, and as you have shown several times you would win and kick the night prince's ass.

Back at the party, you finally managed to escape from the clutches of an obnoxious lady from the Spring Court. That woman had managed to send you into a rage with a few simple questions including why you didn't have a husband and children yet and whether you intended to take your father's place in the future, and when at the last you answered yes, she indignantly went on to explain that a woman should only think about her husband and children and not about ruling and power because that is the job of men. At those words you felt the fire of your family burning powerfully in your veins before you smiled and cursed her and left. Your father through it all was laughing at the scene in front of him, letting you do and say what you wanted knowing that you would manage perfectly well on your own without his help.

"Dad, I'm going to get something to drink. I'll be right back." You say looking at your father, he smiles and nods, so you head to the drinks table and drink a glass of wine. You're standing there deciding whether to get a second one that you hear the most obnoxious voice ever.

"Look who shows up here. How long has it been since we've seen each other Foxy?" Says Nyx flanking you as he too takes a glass of wine. You can't help but roll your eyes and pray he would leave quickly.

"Too little time. I was really hoping not to see you again, at least in this lifetime." You reply, trying to move away, but he, like the flies that buzz around just to annoy, stays glued to you.

"Oh come on Foxy, we both know you missed me." He whispers in your ear in a seductive tone.

"How I miss daggers stuck in my eyes." You exclaim sarcastically as you turn to look at him. You can't help but mentally beat yourself up for finding him so damn attractive. Nyx Acheron has always had an indescribable charm with his violet eyes and well-delineated facial features, and because of that he has always bragged believing he could get any woman he wanted and that has always bothered you a lot, but at the same time you can't help but notice his beauty.

"Do you like what you see honey?" He says with a grin, noticing the intensity of your gaze as you look at him. All you can do is shift your eyes, blushing slightly.

"More than anything, I was thinking about how to divide and hide the various parts of your body once I kill you, so that they can't find you." You answer before smiling at him. "Now if you don't mind, at your highness, I must go to my father, who will be looking for me." You continue with a mock smile on your lips and a half bow, before turning and going back the way you came.

"What took you so long?" Your father asks once you return to him.

"I met Nyx on the street and he obviously had to be an asshole." You answer a little too loudly, so much so that some people turn to look at you. Your father gives a cough and takes you a little further away from them.

"Try to restrain yourself a little my dear, you know how these nobles are, always looking for gossip." Your father continues in a low voice.

"Fuck decorum, that guy makes me mad every time." You say, as smoke seems to come out of your ears, and a hot flush rises all over your body. You think back to those damn purple eyes and curse yourself for wanting his hands on your body. Your father seems to read your mind.

"You know the line between love and hate is very thin, my dear, it often happens that we misunderstand which way we tend to fall." Says your father, smiling, as he hangs your face in his hands and places a kiss on your forehead. "Understand early which way you are going to fall, and let go without fear in case it is the one you don't expect. Fate may surprise you."

---------------------------------------------------------

You're bored out of your mind, and you can't help but let your gaze wander down the hall until you meet the eyes of the Prince of the Night, already fixed on you.

Instinctively you are reminded of your father's words, said just before, and you look away, confused by your feelings. First you thought it was sexual attraction, but what if there was more to it. As you think this and do not allow yourself to go any further, afraid of the response you might get. You see him out of the corner of your 'eye approaching you, but someone is faster than you.

"Would you do me the honor of this dance?" Asks the boy who had approached you without your noticing. He is none other than Calian, the son of the general of the Winter Court, who smiles at you and holds out his hand. You've known him all your life, too, and he's never been anything but kind and polite, as any boy should be, and you know that he's always had a soft spot for you, but you've never made it a point to let him feel that way.

Without answering, you smile back at him and take his hand, and together you go to the dance floor. You dance the whole song in silence, his hands resting on your hips with a light, gentle touch, but you feel that gesture is wrong, that his hands are not the ones you wish to be brushed against you. You feel someone's eyes glued on you, and between the twirls you glimpse that the eyes of the Sovereign of Dreams are resting on you, as an immense rage and power emanates from him like an expanding storm, ready to make lightning and thunderbolts at any moment. Once the dance is over you bow to Calian and feel a hand encircle your wrist, and all you can do is turn around. You see him in all his Nyx glory, with the stars of the night blazing in his gaze, gazing into yours that recall those of your Court. You do not realize that you have been staring at each other, saying nothing, until Calian gives a cough, and suddenly you both turn around. You see the young man laugh under his mustache, first leaving, not without first commenting.

"You better be careful Nyx, the girl has fire burning in her, you might get burned." He says chuckling, then adds. "I'll leave you to your looks. See you later my dear." He continues by kissing your hand. "Nyx."

The Prince of the Night does not respond, just makes a growl and then turns to you.

"May I have this dance?" He asks hastily, but you don't even have time to answer that he has already dragged you onto the dance floor. His hands rest gently on your hips, but his fingers cling to your dress as if they need to be certain that you are there with him. His arms and his warmth wrap around you and you feel the need to lean against his chest. Your and his eyes never stop looking at each other for a second, as if they were linked with an invisible chain. Your feet move on their own, and after what seems like an eternity, you stop dancing since the song is over, but your gaze does not fall.

"I...I need to talk to you." Says the serious boy, dragging you out of the room to a balcony overlooking a beautiful gulf. From here the party music is far away, and there doesn't seem to be a soul in sight.

"What do you have to tell me?" You ask pretending to be pissed off, so as not to give away that your body is betraying you. Every fiber, every cell in your body right now is screaming to get close to him and hold him to you, but you hold back.

"What's between you and Calion?" He asks in a tone as angry as thunder from the storm in the darkest night.

"What do you care bat? Even if I was going to marry him or take him to bed you don't have to care, it's my life and I decide what I want to do." You say in a harsh, authoritative tone as you look at him.

You get so close that your breaths become confused and before you can really understand what is happening your lips join in a passionate kiss. Your tongues entwine and try hard to overpower one another. Your hands immediately go to his hair, tugging lightly at it and making him moan with pleasure; while his hands go from holding your face to caressing your breasts and later to resting on your hips, pulling you closer to him. The kiss gradually becomes more passionate, until he brings you to have your back against the wall. His mouth moves on to torment your neck, leaving clear signs of his passage. For a long time you are silent, the only sounds are your repressed moans of pleasure so as not to give satisfaction to the other, until he lets out with a growl a phrase laden with jealousy.

"I can be a lover a thousand times better than any guy you've ever slept with princess, all you have to do is ask nicely. I'm sure I could do shit they never did, all night long, without giving up." He says whispering beside your ear, interrupting the talk with a few kisses. "What's more, I can be a gentleman, too. What do you have to lose?"

"Words, words, words. I need star facts before I can say whether a horse is thoroughbred or not dear." You comment, reciprocating with the same coin, leaving a bite at the base of his neck. You feel his muscles tense and a groan escapes his mouth.

"Sometimes I really hate that I love you know Foxy. You drive me so crazy that I don't know whether I'm about to fuck you so hard that even on the continent they will learn my name by hearing your moans, or keep myself from plugging you." He responds by stroking your face.

"Believe me, the feeling is reciprocated Starlet." You say with a grin.

Interrupting this moment is the voice of Nyx's cousin Hecate, a.k.a. the daughter of Nesta and General Cassian, and as much as she may be your friend, for a moment you curse her for interrupting you, leaving you wanting for this asshole.

"Nyx, where the fuck are you!" The girl asks aloud, stepping into the balcony. In the meantime we had split up, but it was obvious from the way we looked in our hair, clothes and various signs what we were doing. "Oh." The girl continues, looking at us with that obnoxious little smile. You give her the middle finger and the gesture makes Nyx laugh with gusto.

"What do you want Hec?" The boy asks, returning to why she is here.

"Uncle Rhys is looking for you, he certainly had no idea you were so busy." She comments.

"Okay, I think that's enough Hec." He stops her. "Go ahead, I'll follow you."

Hecate nods and leaves us alone for a moment.

"I have to go Foxy, but don't think this is the end of it, after all I am a man of my word." Says Nyx winking at me before walking away and following her cousin, not before leaving a kiss on my cheek.

You can't help but mentally slap yourself for falling into the playboy's mind, but then you remember your father's words and for a moment think about how true the line between love and hate is thin, and you really find yourself wondering if you hadn't misunderstood whose side you were on.

That boy is going to kill you, you are sure of it, as long as you are not the one to do it.

#nyx x reader #nyx archeron x reader #acotar x reader #imagine acotar #eris x reader

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thethreeeyed-raven · 1 year

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a love which cannot be

navigation | warnings : slight suggestiveness, time skips, jealous bran, father being arsehole, robb seems like an ass, cringey description of bran lmao, i just fucking love brans nose oml, lmk if there’s more | a/n : sorry if you guys don’t like it i just get ideas all of the time lmao, will be writing a part two :) | tags : @knight-of-flowerss | bran stark playlist

The journey to Winterfell was long and excruciating. The land you came from was nothing like Winterfell. Yours was filled with exotic animals, it rained nearly almost everyday, and the heat was so hot you could melt.

Maybe Winterfell would be a nice change, perhaps this Robb Stark man would be a good husband to you, and not beat you or be disloyal as you knew some women's husbands to be.

Your father wanted you to marry the heir to Winterfell, thinking it would strengthen your connections with the Starks.

Robb was seven years older than you. You only being 14 and him 21.

"Father, are we nearly there yet?" You asked nervously. In truth, you did not want to marry this Robb Stark, you wanted to marry someone of your own age, someone of your own choosing.

"Yes, nearly. Just another day." Your father answered in a coarse voice.

You had finally arrived in Winterfell. The Starks were all lined up. There was one that stood out from them all. You assumed he was the bastard, Jon Snow. He looked nothing like Lady Stark. He had dark brown curls, almost black and his eyes were the exact same too. He looked like he tried hard to earn a place beside his half-siblings.

Your father and Ned Stark gave a curt nod to each other, they weren't as close as Ned and King Robert.

"Lord Y/L/N." Ned started, your father replying with "Lord Stark."

As they conversated, you eyed the Stark children. The one you were betrothed to, Robb Stark, had brown curly hair and tried to look like he had authority. Then there was Sansa, with fiery red hair, icy blue eyes and a kind smile graced her soft pink lips. There was Arya, her hair was wild and her clothes were all over the place. Rickon was the youngest, with golden hair and eyes that twinned Sansa's. Lastly, your eyes travelled to...wait...that was Bran Stark?!

Seven hells, he's gorgeous...

His hair was a fair shade of brown, adorned with light curls. His eyes were dark chocolate, you could stare into forever, perhaps you could find the universe in them if you gazed long enough. His lips were a cherry red, and his cheeks sprinkled with light freckles.

Oh gods, his nose is so big...

"Y/n." Your father had been calling your name for the past five minutes. "Come and say hello."

Bran had noticed your intense gaping at him, so he gave you a good observation too. A light blush appeared across his cheeks when he realised everyone had caught you both, so he ducked his head down, but his eyes never left your figure.

The Starks of Winterfell held a feast for you and your families arrival.

The air in the room was getting too stuffy, so you left your seat next to your mother and went outside.

You walked farther away and found yourself in the training grounds, finding Jon teaching Bran a few things about swords.

"You have to hold it like this with a tight grip but not too tight-"

"Why aren't you inside with everyone else?"

They both shot round not expecting you to be there.

Bran gulped, looking at Jon, then diverting his eyes to the ground.

"Why aren't you mi'lady/mi'lord?" Jon knew Bran wouldn't speak to you until after he got over the shock of your existence.

"I don't like it in there." It felt a little bit difficult trying to make conversation with them as they were awkward people. "Also it's a little bit boring, sick of hearing about marriages."

Bran let out a little huff of amusement, he had grown jealous over Robb.

You had been staying in Winterfell and your relationship with the Stark children had grown.

You and Robb were still very distant with each other, both of you always doing your own thing. You were fine with it, as you were closer to the other other Stark boys, especially one in particular.

"Bran, stop."

Both of you were sat under a tree, eating fruit you had both picked. He had forbidden himself from climbing ever since he fell out of that tower and fell into a coma for a few months.

"I'm not doing anything."

"You're trying to hold my hand." You could feel his little finger brushing against your own on top of the fur you were sat on.

You watched as he jutted his bottom lip out of annoyance, he really, really wanted to hold your hand but didn't know how to ask.

Sighing, you took his hand into yours, relishing in the warmth it provided you.

Bran rested his head against your shoulder, his breath tickling your ear. "I wish I could hold your hand all the time."

It was like time stopped. Everything was perfect, you and bran together, but then you had realised that you hadn't been trying to stop your betrothal to Robb at all, you had Bran right beside you and you weren't snatching him up like you could've done.

"I'm going to meet you in your room tonight."

"Bran, Bran open the door." It was the middle of the night, and you kept your word, making your way to his room once you knew everyone was asleep.

You heard the handle rattle and the door opened to reveal a very tired Bran who was barely awake.

"Y/n?" He was very much awake now once he realised you were still in your night clothes. "Come on it must be freezing out there." Bran grabbed your wrist and dragged you inside, some of the candles and the fire was still lit. Was he waiting for you?

"I didn't think you'd actually come, you did take a long time." He averted his eyes, too overwhelmed to look into yours.

"I had to wait 'till midnight, my parents notice everything." You licked your lips before continuing. "My mother specially, she has noticed that we have been spending lots of time together."

Gods, please say our time doesn't have to end, Bran thought.

"My mother will mention it to my father." You took his hands in yours, noticing how clammy they were. "I shall not be separated from you, I am yours and you are mine."

"...I am yours?"

"And you are mine my love, no matter who I marry, whether it is a Dornish man, or a Northern man, you will always be the one to hold my heart."

"You will always hold my heart, no one can ever compare to you."

None of you could hold back anymore. You smashed your lips together, letting your hands roam wherever they wanted.

You opened your mouth and his tongue slid in. His hands caressed your face as yours rested on his chest.

"I don't want to go too far." Bran said, his eyes glazed like he just drunk two cups of wine.

"We won't."

In the morning before everyone woke, you snuck away, leaving Bran to sleep soundly for a few more hours, not noticing the bruise forming on your neck.

Your maids were currently dressing you, choosing what shoes you should wear, how to have your hair styled etc when your mother came in.

"Ah, there you are, your father requests your presence." She said as she crossed her hands in front of her.

"What does he want to talk with me about?" You said, turning towards her once the maids had finished.

"He-what's that?" Your mother pointed to a spot on your neck

What?

You looked down to where she was pointing, just to see a red bruise which had formed. The colour in your face drained.

"Mother-" She took you by the arm. "Come with me now, your father will want to know who did this.

Your father was extremely angry when your mother had taken you to him. He was so angry in fact, that he startled the Starks that were enjoying their peaceful morning with their delicious breakfast.

Ned quickly stood, trying to calm your father.

"My lord, I assure you we will find out which one of our children did this." His wife, Lady Catelyn tried to reassure him.

"You best do, and whoever it is, see they are punished." Your father gave a disgusted look to the Stark children and stormed out of the hall, leaving you and your mother there.

"Come, child." Your mother beckoned you away.

You gave one last look towards the Starks, holding eye contact with Bran. You mouthed 'I'm sorry' as you were gently pushed through the doors.

Catelyn paced back and forth as she looked at her children, Ned stood in the corner letting his wife do the talking.

It couldn't have been Sansa and Arya, they were with me last night, She thought.

"If I will, Mother, I was with Father last night." Robb decided to break the awkward silence. "And Jon was in the blacksmith's."

Catelyn finally stopped her pacing and turned to look at Bran who kept avoiding everyone's eyes and biting his nails.

Ned lifted himself from the wall and stood next to Catelyn. "Son,"

Bran squeezed his eyes shut feeling the pressure of everyone's gaze. "We didn't do anything!"

Ned knelt to his son's height and placed his hands on his shoulder. "Son, what happened? Tell the truth and tell it true."

Bran sighed, defeated. "All we did was kiss."

"Bran, do you realise what you've done? This could greatly affect Y/n's betrothal to Robb!" Catelyn was always the more harsher parent when it came to disciplining her children.

"Good! I hope it does!" Bran yelled back. In other instances, Bran would never talk back to his mother.

Before she could respond, a knight came through the door. "The Lord Y/L/N requests your presence."

Ned sighed and turned back to Bran. "You're a good lad Bran, we just have to hope no harsh punishment will be carried out for this."

Your father had been informed of the situation, and yet he was still infuriated.

"We are never coming back to this place again, you should teach your son some respect." That was the last thing your father said to Eddard Stark.

And it would be years before you saw Brandon Stark again.

#game of thrones #game of thrones x reader #game of thrones imagine #game of thrones fanfiction #bran stark #bran stark x reader #bran stark imagine #isaac hempstead wright x reader #isaac hempstead wright

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nd-babblinggoblinfromthevoid · 8 days

Text

I wish that autism wasn't so heavily looked down upon/ignored/disrespected when I was growing up.

I was a "devil child", "handful", "problem".

When in reality if even minute changes were made in my environment and how my own family interacted with me, I would have flourished so much more.

I heavily stimmed using music. The repetitive beats and heavy bass was my thing. So when my mom wanted to punish me for something, one of the first things she'd do was take away my ipod/mp3 whatever I had. WORST thing was when she ONLY took my (very specific) headphones.

To her, it was taking away something fun. A luxury item. A toy basically.

But to me, it was taking away a very heavily ingrained stim that I NEEDED to do, and could not do without very specific criteria (specific headphones and a specific playlist/style of music)

So of course I would become horribly disregulated. Which I'd then have to attempt to mask/or recluse to avoid her so she wouldn't see how bad it unraveled me.

Because to her, being disregulated/unraveled was "acting up", "catching an attitude", "being disrespectful/rude".

Gods. Looking back I truly hate how she did me wrong in that way. Not just my stim but EVERYTHING. All my needs were either dismissed or half-met.

She is one of those people who thinks sure adhd/autism exists but not in HER family. Not in HER children. She even tried to blame it on the father of her children and it couldn't possibly have had anything to do with her.

..... we not only ALL have different fathers, but after observing both memories of her and her now, she is ALSO autistic and in total denial.

I definitely still harbor resentment because of that. She had me "evaluated". Once. At a time where they still heavily leaned on the male criteria for adhd, and autism wasnt really addressed/acknowledged unless it was severely debilitating. But also, by the time she had me evaluated, I'd already spent a few years (unknowingly) masking due to peers and family creating that need. So the conclusion was "there MIGHT be something divergent about her but we couldnt say for sure at this time" and she took that as "nope she's good, just a problem child. Carryon." Never again to be addressed.

She barely acknowledged that one of my brothers (previously a sister) was diagnosed adhd.

She only acknowledged another brother's adhd&autism diagnosis because the school he went to was very accommodating and insisted that he be evaluated and guess what.

Once he was diagnosed, and they rearranged his class schedules to fit his needs, he did a 180 and graduated top of his class. THRIVED. I both LOVE that he got that and HATE that I never did. I barely got through school.

It wasn't for lack of love of learning. I just, learned different, but was ALSO heavily overloaded with how crammed my courses were. I always wonder if I'd gotten the same accommodations, would I have thrived? Would school have been a drastically different/positive experience/memory for me? I'll never know. Because my mother was so against the idea that anything was divergent about me and absolutely mentally stuffed me into her little idea of an ideal neurotypical child that I never had a chance...

Now that I know I'm also AuDHD, like most of my siblings and even an aunt, I feel validated. I had seen vlogs and blogs about people more and more coming out about how they handle life and their coping skills and hacks theyve learned and after starting to apply those to myself... gods I've improved so much.

Don't get me wrong, I still struggle. But now knowing what issues are and how to cope and get around things, I'm a lot better off.

This is only ONE reason of several why my relationship with my mother has gone sour. What's sad is she doesn't really realize it yet? I havent been able to compose myself enough to have THE CHAT.

About how she hurt me a lot. Intentional or not. (Like not knowing taking away my music was taking away a stim) I don't know how to have this chat. Tbh I thought about writing a longass letter. Because in the past whenever she's been confronted about anything she's done wrong, she spirals into defense mode and wont even entertain the conversation beyond that point and you get... nowhere.

So maybe in person the bulk of the talk wont happen. I feel like. I need to hand her a letter. Have her read it. And maybe have a succinct chat before parting ways.

Because I wanted to be close to her for so long, that I either didn't realize or knowingly ignored her problem behaviors and looking back... she just... gods that's a whole other post for the future....

If you've read this far thank you. If you've had similar familial experiences, lmk (if you're comfy)

I just....... *sigh*.... yep.

#vent post #vent #long vent post #long post #audhd #adhd #autism #neurodivergence #childhood #neurospicy #neurospicy childhood #neurodivergent childhood #stim #heartbreak #family issues

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deaddovehasbeeneaten · 13 days

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MARIUS QUESTIONS HELLO 3. What first drew you to this character? 18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both? 25. What kind of fan-fiction do you read about this character? If you don’t read fan-fics about them, why not? 34. Does this character inspire you with little things in your daily life? 50. Link your fav song, playlist, aesthetic board, fan-fiction, reference pile, personal artwork, analysis post, meme, headcanon, or quote for this character. Whichever one (s) you are most comfortable with!

AAAAAA, get ready!! (Thank you good italian perv fairy :D)

3. His name. It was so clearly wrong yet evocative of Rome I had to wonder why would anyone that ancient choose it. Why hide your identity in plain sight basically? (Turns out it's not that deep and he was just horny) Furthermore the concept of a Roman Vampire and how did that come to be was an instant turn on for me

18. Hmm...to illustrate, I haven't read the PL trilogy yet but based on what I gathered from the fandom and specifically what Eef told me I already know I will likely not be a big fan of the whole Prime Minister development. Because it just seems like the easier way out for him, I'm sorry! Yeah he lost his purpose, so let's give him another one quickly so that he can pick up the old pieces of his life and lies without much fuss. Well yeah, as of now I prefer a state of uneasiness for him, because I feel like he's not ready to know true peace. But I sure as hell hope he'd get there one day, it's the best thing immortality can do for him!

25. I both read and write a lot of Human AUs, my favourites include Vantablack, you might have heard of it, it's very fucking good and sends chills running down my spine every single time. Ultimately though I think it's tied to Marius specifically, more like the whole universe Anne had created. If you choose to make a bunch of terrible night parasites into humans you obviously have to adjust so much and it just depends on what you want to do and leaves room for a specific kind of creativity I'd say that's just very sympathetic and cool to me. If you want to write teeth rotting fluff, you can! I don't think *I'd* prefer to read it to some other concepts but it's doable and challenging too.

50. My Marius playlist my Armand/Marius playlist and my tiny Marius/Pandora playlist. This pinterest board for the project Suppliant. My favourite fanart. I can't think of much more in the moment.

#thank so much for the questions kacy i hope you don't mind a late answer #questions and answers

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 7 months

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I will ask this question, cause you're a neutral blog. And your replies seem pretty honest, so far.

Every one often talks about how all members are so close, how they love each other so much etc.

So JK, he loves them all, is close to all? He seems esp close with jm?

So how do you think he's okay with Hybe treating him different from other members? I am sure he knows, lol.

Doesn't he care that jm, who he seems close with/seems to care for, didn't get any recognition for his bb1 while the company has been yelling about his from rooftops and also dropping more cds and remixes to secure more records for him?

2 months in, he's still allowed to promote a single, that he didn't even co write, overlapping with another member's release, while some who dropped album had to stop promotion in a few days cause their promotions couldn't overlap? Add heavy playlisting, ads, radio and versions and what not, that Jk got and no other member did, despite one of them having a whole English version.

Yeah, people will come at me with you are a "Jk anti". Well no, he's my bias too. But I can't wrap my head around the fact that he's cool with everything and enjoying his "achievements". Cause even as fans we can see the blatant favouritism by Hybe.

"Your replies seem pretty honest, so far". Anon, I feel like I'm being tested here.

Ok, I'll give you an answer which probably won't satisfy you nor anyone else. The truth is, I don't know. There's not enough out there for me to have a definitive answer that would make sense. Of course it's so easy to come up with something. But the gaps left by the lack of information can be left just like that. Everyone else is trying to fill them anyway. Not with possible explanations, but with so called definitive knowledge which I think it's so far from a reality that for us outsiders, is quite fragmented. A Jimin fan will give you one answer, Army another one, a JK fan something different and so on. And everyone believes they have the one right answer when that's far from being true.

There's possible explanations influenced by biased points of view. We will go in the direction that speaks more to us and our already preconceived notions anyway. It's also difficult to accept we don't know everything. That as much as we wish we'd do, we're actually left out, we're outside looking in at something that happens in between spaces that are hidden from us.

How am I supposed to know what conversations are taking place in private between JM and JK about their careers, about the professional relationship with the company? I don't. Your questions are valid but are based on a fragmented image. It's frustrating, but that's the way it is. As long as these people will not address directly the concerns fan have (which they never will most likely), then we should accept that we don't and can't know everything that would explain the pieces that we see on the surface.

Jimin and all the members have renewed their contract with BH. It was the most probable outcome and nothing surprising for me. They are riding the BTS train because it's not some insignificant one yet. We don't know the details of their contract, what benefits they have, but there must have been good reasons for them to stick around. Including JM. I can also admit and be self aware that my desires as fan have nothing to do with the artist. I can see what can be perceived as mistreatment and favoritism, but I have no way of knowing as of now if actual issues were resolved or in what way.

My opinion on JM and JK in terms of personal relationship is based on what I see. But it is also heavily biased because of how I interpret that. It's why so many people don't even think they hang out. I do think they are close. I don't believe that they would talk to each other in the way they do if there was any animosity between them based on career trajectory and company treatment. In my opinion, there has been nothing that indicates any sort of problem which leads me to not being able to answer your questions. The subtext in your ask is also that JK doesn't care about JM because he is being promoted whilst JM had issues with his album release. That's an assumptiom based on fan beliefs which I think should be confronted to each action done by Jungkook in connection to Jimin's album and promotion and consequently, everything JM has done and said about Jungkook in the last few months. Does it change your perspective or at least broadens it? Are you left with more questions, more unknowns? Perhaps that's good. Perhaps we can try and accept that it's only going to be like that. I'd say listen to them but not without question. People lie and people choose not to say things. Make your own opinions based on the information available. Put it all on the table and see if it makes sense to you without falling into the traps of conspiracy theories.

Edit: brief explanation on the renewal news

#m thoughts #jm #jk #jikook #bighit

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infraaa · 2 years

Text

『I write for espresso too yk, why y’all leaving him in the dust? that’s not very nice! 🥴』

𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓!

yandere!espresso x fem!reader

tw// yandere themes, kidnapping, training, extreme monopoly (control of time and the reader’s schedule,) stalking, gaslighting, light aspects of a student/teacher relationship, light nsfw in some parts, implied cnc, orgasm denial

baker’s notes // I recommend that you listen to the playlist I made to go along with this to elevate the experience. This is also mostly written from third perspective and provides little to no physical description to make this as personalized to the reader as possible.

SOME MAY FIND THE CONTENT BELOW TO BE DISTURBING. READER’S DISCRETION IS ADVISED UNDER THE CUT.

Parfaedia was normally a quiet place when night hit. Everyone hit the hay, golden lights illuminating the town’s streets. It was as though peace had covered every house in a warm blanket.

safety ・　・　・

s a f e t y ・　・　・

A word in everyone’s heads as they snuggled into their blankets. Not for everyone however, unfortunately.

A dainty looking cookie, crust once bright and crisp, now talking, walking, acting with unneeded and rather forced grace. They adjusted their hair to be as perfect as possible, as they dared not break his expectations. Clothes always neat, tidy, never wrinkled and always smelling like the finest coffee known to cookie kind. However the only thing that wasn’t class about them was their eyes. Lifeless— lifeless eyes with no light, no shine or glimmer of hope. Just the orbs of a cookie lost in limbo.

A girl that lost her life, her dignity, and her independence. Truly tragic.

How did we get here? To this point?

How did you get here?

How did he find you? Why did he find you?

let’s go back.

You, another student under the guise of dark magic, wanting to learn how to perfect coffee magic, and your use of it. However not at the level of passion of another certain professor, who, albeit was rather dry and only taught on commission, saw you in a different light than all of his other students. He saw uniqueness in you, a kind of zest he had yet to see. You were the only reason as to why he held onto teaching, not because he wanted to share wisdom but because he wanted to see you. Hear you. Touch you.

You began to warm up to him over time and eventually you… took a liking to him. And everyone knew it.

He would always say to you, however, that you were his favorite student, then when he was teaching, he would say that he doesn’t do favorites. He would say he loved you in a platonic way, admiring your sense of dutifulness and knowledge, then when you would give him that look he’d scoff at you, saying he doesn’t remember saying that. That’s a lie; you knew that. But, you still digressed and nodded your head with that embarrassed look on your face, red face package with bleated eyes.

He’s trying to make you desperate. He’s trying to twist you in circles like a dog toy. He wants you to question yourself, your sanity, your perceptions of reality. It makes him smile…..

…makes him believe you’ll come crawling.

It was his way of telling you he wants you— by making you think, wonder, maybe even fear your feelings for your professor. Sooner or later, he went full on stone cold, not even acknowledging you. You pushed and pushed and PUSHED for him to at least give you a word or even a sound of gratitude and yet/m… nothing. That was, until the end of the semester. You, as well as your class, had finals coming up and like any other star student, you were determined to get the highest grade. So much so that you studied your ass off. Pulling all nighters wouldn’t help you in accomplishing your goals, may just leave you sleep deprived, but that’s what energy drinks and coffee are for. And when the time came, some passed the exam, some failed under Espresso’s watchful eye.

“Erm… doctor?“ You called out to him in a hushed voice. It nearly sent shivers down his spine knowing you sounded like that. Vivid memories went by of him getting your address through the institute’s files and finding your home. He has a small pocket watch of yours in his desk drawer. He has heard you sleep before, hearing your soft voice fall in and out from dream to dream, bringing a dreamy smile to his normally calm yet stoic face, and hearts to his reddened eyes.

“Doctor?” He broke out of his reality of twisted splendor back into the real one he was already in and turned to face you, clearing his throat of his fantasies. “Tell me,” he started turning his body around fully, “why don’t you join me for lunch? I can go over your test results with you if you’d like.”

Why did you agree?

At this point you meant everything to him, this was all just a ploy. And even you, gaslit to the point of no return and you still cling to whatever can make you smile again— just trying to piece together what really has happened. You want this to be real. You want him to be your prince. And he does too, not only just as bad as you want him if not more. Which is why he brought a special concoction with him today. Don’t worry, just some nice sleepy liquid to put you out. He hopes you don’t mind, of course. He doesn’t want anything bad to happen to his newfound angel. You felt sleepy by the end of lunch, and as soon as you got up you felt too weak to stand, collapsing into your professor’s arms. He carried you off, back to his home in Parfaedia, where you shall forever remain. Not another class was held after your sudden disappearance. The previous students who passed the final exams showed up the next day however there was no professor there to either greet them or scold them for being two minutes late. All one student noticed was a flower on your desk, where you used to sit. A white mum, sitting in the center of your oak desk, right in the front of the class.

Speaking of white flowers, you woke up in a place where he had personally went out of his way to make sure it welcomed you. Tons of white flowers of different genuses, as well as heavenly light cascading through light curtains. It looked just like heaven— white walls, tile floor, everything was lightly colored, never straying past white or crème, all to contrast with his dark color scheme, like an inkblot on white paper. When you awoke, you had no recollection of what happened prior, yet you could kind of figure out how you got there. Perhaps you followed him home? No, you fell unconscious. Did you subconsciously agree to come here? Did he have other plans with you? He walked in the room with a small silver tray and the most pristine white coffee cup atop a saucer, steaming with hot coffee inside. Soft lofi music can be heard in the background as he walks in, does he have his phone on in his pocket? Regardless, he has a wonderful music sense.

The smile he had on his face… how come you’ve never seen that smile before? He has smiled at you before, don’t catch yourself wrong, but this one is… different. It seemed… sick. Like he was mental— as though he had succumbed to the darkness in him. You accepted the coffee from him, and he went over to open the curtains, letting the light from the sun flood into the room from that gorgeous window. “We’ve got a big day ahead of us, dear.” He said, his smile evident in his tone. He turned to you, chocolate brown eyes agleam, “We must be out by eleven am, no more, no less. We have to get your new wardrobe started, we have to get your hair trimmed, we have to—“ “Doctor.” You interjected, while drinking your coffee you looked him in the eye. “Where am I?” You asked. His smile suddenly grew a bit in size and he began to giggle to himself quietly, putting a hand to his mouth to stifle the noises of his happiness. “What’s so funny?” “Oh, you! We’re home, silly! You are home.”

home ・　・　・

h o m e ・　・　・

That word never felt more incorrect in your head. This isn’t your home. This isn’t your bedroom. This is not your place of residence.

He set this up.

He set this up to kidnap you.

“This isn’t my home, doc-“ “Oh, but it is!” He interjected, “this is your new home. Your new home where you will stay.” His tone at the end of that sentence made your skin almost crawl, yet the heat in between your legs betrayed that grossed out feeling you felt. Why was your body feeling two completely different emotions in this situation— arousal and confusion? That’s strange.

“Anyway,” he took a moment to creep over to the side of the bed where he took his seat, weight slightly shifting to the left side of the bed. He crossed his leg over and leaned closer to you, putting a hand to your now blushed face. This was all so confusing for you, why is this happening? Why is he touching you again? His touch felt different as well. It had a possessive tinge to it that made it feel wrong, yet it was soft and caring, almost feather like against your skin. “I cant wait to decorate you, my darling.”

Decorate? What could he mean by that? Decorate via clothes? Decorate via accessories? Jewelry? Marks…? Bruises? Hickeys? He sighed and kisses your cheek, followed with him humming to himself. He got up and started to head towards the door. “Get dressed, my darling, we must be out shortly—“ He turned to look at you, looking up at him with those confused doll like eyes that were red and glossy, like you were about to cry. He sighed through his nose, you could see his chest going up and down with the inhale and exhale. And then he sighed audibly, walking back towards you and crawling back onto the bed by the footboard, getting closer to you, touching the nape of your neck with the tip of his nose, taking in your sweet scent with a sickly smile on his face before he put the nape of your neck in his mouth, biting down almost aggressively. This automatically caused you to inhale and then yelp, resulting in a stifled laugh to come from the darker cookie above you. He grabbed hold of your thigh and placed it with on his side, holding it there, squeezing at it tenderly. He continued to suck on your neck, either going up your neck or down, onto your shoulders leaving small peppers of bite marks. Your hands didn’t know what to do, so they just found themselves to be in Espresso’s short hair, entangling themselves. It felt good, almost like a surge of exhilaration going through your body, the heat of the fire going through a fireplace. The heat of your body increasing higher and higher, you catch yourself panting. It almost feels like a wet dream. In well pressed black slacks did he take his knee and push his kneecap in between your legs as he sucked away at you, pushing at you to release more of your intoxicating voice that he forced out of your lungs with each breath and action. It was his now.

He wanted to claim you.

He kept grinding his knee into your soaked cunt protected by your undergarments, making you cry out in ecstasy. You put your other thigh up on his other side so that he could have more leg room, so that you could want more. So that you could have more, you with your selfish mind in your selfish fantasies. This is what you’ve been dreaming about yet you never thought your dreams would come true—all the gaslighting he did during the two semesters left you down sighted, almost with no real close reality to follow by. However, you were sure that he meant what he was doing.

He licked up at your neck, a long thin train of saliva coating the front of your throat. You laughed and moaned and squealed, feeling your orgasm building up from his constant demand. “D-D-Doc-ctor! I… I-I’m-mm cl-o-o-se! Eee..!” You squealed in your aching breath. He chuckled as he kissed up your neck, nearly sending you over the edge. When you were sure you were about to cum, he pulls away and looks at you, wide eyed by his actions. He chuckled darkly at your facial expression as you felt your orgasm peak away, shaking a finger in your face. “I had to, you’re so cute… but sadly you won’t be getting all the glitters yet.” He said with a sultry smirk before crawling off of the bed and walking towards the door. He turned to look at you, you wore the same for eyes as you had on before his ministrations. “Get cleaned up now, darling. Cover your neck with some color corrector and get dressed. We have a long day ahead of us, remember?” He walked out, shutting the door behind him.

You never felt more used in your life.

You eventually went out with Espresso, but no had set up ground rules for you when you both go out in public. They sounded obscene, however you kind of understood them. “Wherever I go, you go. Be calm, be polite, and be courteous. Do not speak unless spoken to. You must always refer to me as Espresso.”

You learned something about him very quickly: Espresso is extremely controlling.

Every time something caught your eye, he would immediately drag you back to his side. He would always hold onto your hand, never letting go. He had a specific set time for every little thing. He would take at least ten minutes with you browsing, and then, to the fitting rooms you two went. However, he would let you pick out half and half— things you liked, things he liked. Casual versus dress. He liked the clothes he chose better, they made you look more doll like, more pretty and clean, crisp and perfect.

One that he specifically liked was a crème colored dress with brown trim. Floral embroidery at the bottom hem and frills around the sleeveless sweetheart neckline. It made you look like a waitress at a German bar, but nevertheless, he liked it, very much so. From then on he worked to expand your wardrobe, slowly changing his mind on the clothes he wanted you to wear. No longer did he really seem to care about your fashion tastes, he wanted you to wear what he wanted you to wear and that would be the end of the discussion. From the crown of your head to the heels of your feet— you would be dressed to his design, from formal clothes to casual to even pajamas— would you believe that all your pajamas were made of that satin like silk and were all lightly colored? So comfy? You’d think he was doing you a favor at least to allow you to live in some kind of comfort, although we digress that it’s rather short lived.

Each morning there was a set ritualistic schedule that he implemented. Every morning, after getting showered, teeth brushed, hair blow dried and makeup applied, you are to meet him in the kitchen no more or no less than nine thirty. He would place a mat on the kitchen floor, and while he sat in front of you, sitting in a pale oak chair facing you, you sat on the mat, sitting in your knees. At first, you thought this was ridiculous. You would often refuse him in the beginning. Espresso was first gracious and patient in the beginning, offering to coach and coax you down into doing what he wanted you to do, but soon that faded. When he wanted you down, he wanted you down. “Sit!” He would yell at you as though you were a dog. Out of fear you would automatically do as you were told. Espresso wasn’t known by name to be aggressive, however, that doesn’t mean he can’t get that way. You’ve seen that he can and will use either words or certain items against you to get you to do what he wants— he owns whips. That’s not surprising to most, and he has come close to using them. When he talks, he expects you to give your undivided attention to him and failure to do this will result in a harsh, condescending scolding.

“Hasn’t your mother taught you to look people in the eye when being addressed? What is wrong with you anyway?”

He would start with a calm smile and a quick correction of his glasses sitting on the brim of his nose.

“Now… what are the rules?”

“Rule one, wherever you go… I also go..”

“Go on…”

“Rule… rule two… I must be calm, polite, and courteous.”

“Good, try not to stutter too much, love. What’s rule three?”

“Rule three is… I… I must not speak unless spoken to.”

“And rule four…?”

“I… ah…” you always panicked here. It’s not because you didn’t remember because he always made sure you remembered this rule specifically, but you hated it. You now hated his name more than anything. He scared you, he’s too domineering, too dark minded, sick, twisted, lovesick…

He’s like a disease.

“What’s rule four, my darling? Come on now.”

“I… must always re-refer to you as… as Espresso.”

With that he would praise you and allow you to stand, not letting you leave yet however, he still wanted something from you. At the end of that session, every single morning, he wanted you to tell him that you loved him and for you to give him a kiss. At first you didn’t mind this, simple enough right? Just tell him you love him and kiss his cheek, right? Simple. No. He didn’t want you to do it like that. He wanted you to smile, show him your shining eyes, he wanted a proper kiss, in his head that would be to the mouth. This soon began to grow ill on you and you soon began to detest this part. Of course, like eating your vegetables or paying your bills, you had to get it out of the way in order to continue with your day. But this isn’t the only thing that was scheduled by him.

Let’s not forget the fact that he made you quit your job, if you so had one, to keep a better eye on you and to get a better hold on your time. He wants you bound to his house and if that means taking away your source of income, he will do that. In turn for this absence of funds, he gives you monthly allowances that come out of his paychecks. Five hundred dollars a month, for you to use as you need to. But, in the end, you barely ever use this money since he buys everything for you.

So what’s the point?

What is the point?

Lunch came at noon sharp. He expected you to attend. This means that you had to drop whatever you are doing to meet him back in the kitchen to once again, go over the rules, and end it off with an “I love you, Espresso,” with a kiss. He does this multiple times a day. If any outings are to occur, he has a set time for them as well. Dinner is at six, and you are expected to clean up for bed no later than ten thirty, and to be in bed no later than midnight, which is rather hypocritical of him considering the fact that he barely sleeps, and you didn’t mind to call him out for this. “Why do I need to go to bed at a certain time when you yourself won’t sleep for days?” His only answer is “because I say so,” and that will be the end of it. You talk back, he gets mean to correct you. To make sure that you followed this time schedule, he would often feign sleep, in your bed, abandoning his own bedroom during most nights, to ensure you were doing as you were told. Not that he didn’t have a problem with that, he would much rather lay with you than alone.

This is your new life, your new ordinary life. Now let’s ask ourselves: Why didn’t she say no? Why didn’t she resist the offers he made, his silly little mind games? The taunting, the teasing, the gaslighting, the brutal words behind him sweet smile… well…

There’s some things in life one just can’t resist. We always seem to let curiosity and desires get the best of us, don’t we? You walk with him, arm in arm, dull eyes with a pure fake smile, silent as a doll. You played the part as a doll quite well under his gaze, and you were always under it. He’s covered every bit of your clothes in his cologne, the savory smell of gourmet roasted coffee beans. He’s not going to let you was it out either, he’ll just cover you back up in his scent again, just like a disease that you can’t rid yourself of no matter how hard you try.

#infrawrites #infra@212!#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #crk x reader #yandere crk #crk espresso cookie #espresso cookie #espresso cookie x reader #tw smut #tw yandere #yandere #x reader #yandere x darling

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levans44 · 1 year

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chapter 2 - choc chip cookies and milk

The next time Captain America walked into her cafe, he ordered another cappuccino (so he did like it!) and some bagels.

“How many would you like?”

“Uh…” His fingers twitched, as if he was counting how many he needed, before he asked her for “just a dozen.”

She nodded as she rang him up. “Must be quite the party.” She joked as she bagged the homemade goodies. No harm in making small talk right? He was basically a regular now.

“Yeah,” He nodded “It’s for my uh… coworkers.” He paused over the last word, failing to find a better replacement, and she could see why. Captain America. So his coworkers must mean the Avengers, maybe other SHIELD agents.

Before she could think too much about the fact that Tony Stark might be eating her bagels this morning, she carried the hefty bags to the register, handing him his coffee and the receipt.

“I mixed in a couple flavors and threw in some cream cheese for you too.”

“Thank you,” he smiled.

Turns out, Steve didn’t like sugar in his coffee, but he did have a soft spot for baked goods. Her baked goods, to be precise. He came in the next morning, practically bouncing on his feet, enthusing about how everyone had loved her bagels.

Upon a quick scan of the display shelf, he asked to try the lemon-thyme bar along with the usual cappuccino. The next day, she recommended the banana bread. The day after that, the blueberry muffin.

Today, it was a classic chocolate chip cookie. He walked in around 4 pm, just around the time her babies were ready to pop out of the oven. That was the other thing, too. He started coming in more now, at unpredictable times, sometimes early noon, other times in the late afternoon.

Not always in his usual workout clothes, either. Today, he walked up to the register in a brown biker jacket and some faded jeans. She liked that he was a bit old-school that way. There was a peculiar yet endearing formality in the way he carried himself, with a level of humility that she found hard to believe in someone so renowned as Captain America.

With the mouth-watering scent wafting through the air, she couldn’t help but insist that he take a seat and wait for the cookies to be ready.

One bite of the warm, chocolaty delicious and he couldn’t help but hide a surprised smile. She set a glass of milk down in front of him, and couldn’t help the fuzzy feeling from crowding her stomach as he glanced up, smile widening.

“How’d you know this was my favorite?”

Like she said, old-fashioned.

They sat in comfortable silence, tucked away at a booth in the far corner. She took small sips from her own mug, glancing over at him as his eyes lingered over her paintings, as usual.

As the next song started playing on her playlist, she noticed his ears perk up, eyes lighting up with recognition.

“Fan of Marvin Gaye?”

He nodded, nostalgic smile on his face “Yeah, uh, Trouble Man. Friend recommended it to me a while back.”

She nodded back in response, as they started to sway in time to the beat.

“I’ve never heard of this song before, though” Steve reached forward for a second cookie, and she smiled.

“If I should die tonight.”

He looked up, eyebrow raised.

“That’s what it’s called. If I should die tonight.” She closed both hands around her mug, reveling in its warmth.

A pause, before Steve remarked softly “It’s nice.”

She hummed in agreement. Lulled by the sweet soul of Marvin Gaye's voice, she couldn’t help but close her eyes.

“You know, Marvin Gaye didn’t write this song. His producer did. About a crush he had on this woman.” The story always put a small smile on her face.

“And Marvin refused to sing it ‘cause he’d never felt that way about anyone… until he met his wife.”

A few moments of silence, only the music flowing gently from the overhead speakers. She glanced up to check Steve’s reaction, and realize that his eyes were fixated on a spot on the table, deep in thought. Then, he spoke, voice quiet, almost as if he was talking to himself.

“Do you believe in that? That some people are destined to be together?”

She glanced up, a little surprised at the question, before letting out a light laugh, looking back down at her cup,

“Soulmates? Not really.” She pursed her lip, before continuing.

“… but, as clichéd as this sounds, I do think true love exists. You know, someone you just know you belong with.”

She looked up the same time he did, and as soon as those blue eyes met hers, she knew exactly what he was thinking. The same thought had appeared in her own mind. Neither of them spoke, but his eyes said everything she wanted to know.

As the song started to build up to the second verse, they were abruptly interrupted by the sound of the bell, and a customer stepped through the door.

He immediately got on his feet, almost hitting his head against the ceiling, before shoving his baseball cap lower over his brow. He started to reach for the wallet in his back pocket, voice low.

“Sorry I kept you for so long, what do I ow-”

“What? No, put that away!” She smiled, picking up the empty plate and the cup.

“I can’t as-“

“Seriously, it’s okay. These were on me.”

“But-“ He looked like he was about to argue, but he glanced back at the expectant customer waiting at the register, and closed his mouth.

“Well, the cookies were amazing. Thank you.” He smiled, his sincere gaze warming up her cheeks.

“Anytime.”

As he made his way out, she rushed behind the counter to take the customer's order. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him round the corner and disappear, in the same way he always does.

As she started crafting the coffee order, she listened attentively to the last of the Marvin Gaye song, fading out in the background, trying desperately to ignore the pounding heartbeat in her chest or that fuzzy feeling in her stomach, settling down for good.

If I should die tonight, love

I just want you to keep this one thought in mind

That I would never die blue

…’Cause I've known you

(cap)puccino, w/ milk and sugar masterlist

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yalocalfanficaddict · 6 months

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Band AU (Part One?)

These are just some songs I would assign Class 1-A characters if they were the lead singer in a band AU...feel free to request some genres if you want this to be a series and if you wish to use some of these as prompts for a fic. But please send me the link because I would LOVE to read it!!

The first genre to start this series issss *drumroll* Goth!

Class 1-A!

Kyouka Jirou ~ Spellbound by Siouxsie and The Banshees (Anything by Siouxsie feels like it would match her voice-ish, she's probably too low for Jirou but I still think it sort of matches?)

Hanta Sero ~ Enjoy The Silence by Depeche Mode (It sort of matches his dub voice -- which is what I'm trying to do for this series -- and I feel like the 'chillness' of Depeche's voice matches Sero's vibe)

Denki Kaminari ~ Hot Hot Hot!!! OR Let's Go To Bed by The Cure (Only reason why I give him two songs is because Hot Hot Hot sort of sounds like him singing bad on purpose imo)

Eijirou Kirishima ~ Bite My Hip by Bauhaus (Is it really a goth song assignment if Bauhaus isn't mentioned? Anyways, Kirishima gets this song because it fits his sort of nasally dub voice if you get what I mean?? Not to mention his shark teeth lol)

Katsuki Bakugou ~ Be My Death Cult by Calabrese (Totally didn't pick this one because of how much Bakugou screams 'DIE!')

Mezo Shoji ~ I Don't Wanna Be Me by Type O Negative (This was so hard to assign because I still don't know TOO many goth musicians and is sort of considered a "baby-bat" in the community, haha!!)

Tenya Iida ~ This Charming Man by The Smiths (Listen y'all, I know there is controversy with The Smiths for...reasons and some consider them to be one of the first indie bands to ever form, but I've seen them in too many goth playlist so I'm counting it as such)

Rikidou Satou ~ Kiss Me Until My Lips Fall Off by Lebanon Hanover (Sorta sounds right on the dot when it comes to William Maybelline and Sato's english dub...)

Momo Yaoyorozu ~ Violet by Hole (Picture this: Momo screaming this song and *insert ship* staring at her in awe..I rest my case)

Fumikage Tokoyami ~ Out of Control by She Wants Revenge (Yet another hard one to assign! Everyone's voices are all so unique and so this is the best I could come up with!)

Mashirao Ojiro ~ Staring At Dark Skies by ANGST/JOY (Not my best assignment...but it'll have to do because I legit cannot think of anything else)

Ochako Uraraka ~ Incubus Succubus II by Xmal Deustchland (Honestly loved this german band, it's a shame they became pop and it's the closest I could get to find a singer that sounds like Uraraka)

Izuku Midoriya ~ Vicious Pastimes by House of Harm (The title kinda matches what he does in his pastimes which is scrapping with villains and all, haha)

Mina Ashido ~ Twilight by bôa (legit can't tell the difference sometimes)

Shouto Todoroki ~ Snake Dance by The March Violets (This one took forever to assign because of Todoroki's monotone voice, andd I totally didn't pick this song because of how much it mentions flames)

Yuga Aoyama ~ Walking on Both Sides by Pink Turns Blue (Again, totally didn't pick this one based on the title and how it matches with *insert spoiler that iykyk*)

Tooru Hagakure ~ Rose Blood by Mazzy Star (Hagakure is so high-pitched that it's so hard to find a song, but I think it matches her voice?)

Koji Koda ~ Mascara by Deftones (Koda barely speaks and so I legit just went with the softest sounding one I knew But at the same it's Deftones so...)

Tsuyu Asui ~ Step On Me by The Cardigans (I know Asui's voice is a bit lower-ish but I think it sort of matches her nasally voice)

Tell me how I did and if I missed any! Although I'm pretty sure we're all good...

Doing this sorta made me want to write a My Goth Academia fic, haha! I know some of the bands are actually considered alt, but please just let me be delulu.

What actually started this is that I've seen enough 'My Immortal' stuff floating around that it inspired me to put my goth knowledge to the test! Again, feel free the use this as inspiration, but please tag me or send the link 'cause I would be totally stoked to read it! If you want me to to this but in another genre and make it a series, just send an ask and I can do almost every genre except for certain sub-genre's of metal and country music.

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curatorofvibes · 2 years

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Sun in 4th House Overlay (Once Upon A Time)

NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO REPOST, PLEASE GIVE CREDIT.

Artwork by amusvision.

Synastry. Don’t let astrology limit you, you can have the relationship you dream of!

Settle.

First, I would like to state that I am not an astrologer. I’m writing this description or whatever you’d like to call this because I created a playlist based on this synastry overlay. My process of creating playlists is like an author writing a book. For this reason I wanted to write this short story (or whatever you’d like to call this) to explain my song choices into my own words based off of the research I did on the Sun being in someone’s fourth house. Just in case it is not visible, I have provided 3 links in my description of the fourth song of this playlist to help you gain a better understanding of my thoughts/imagination when curating this playlist. If you have any experience with this overlay or if you are an astrologer, let me know your thoughts and experience because I genuinely am interested.

Illuminating (Sun) your home (4th House).

The Sun person is lighting up the home of the Fourth House person. By this I mean that the Sun person is involved in the Fourth House person's family life, home, and space in general. With them illuminating and being so prideful of this part of the Fourth House person's life, they make them feel good about their home, family, where they're from and the foundation of who they are today. The Fourth House person finds comfort in the Sun person's pride in them. This makes them open to being more vulnerable with the Sun person. During my research I learned that the Fourth House person makes the Sun person feel comfortable with sharing their inner creativity. The Fourth House person lays down a stable foundation for the Sun person to share their creative pursuits without the external influence of anything outside of themselves. The Fourth House person makes the Sun person feel free from judgment. To get deeper into the vulnerability of this synastry overlay we should talk about how vulnerability can lead to trust issues. The fourth house is known as your Nadir or Imun Coeli (Latin for “bottom of the sky”) better yet known as your IC. This part of your chart is the part that you keep closest to your heart, because it is essentially the home that you retreat to when you’re going through growing pains or when you wanna feel comforted. If the Sun person lights up the Fourth House person's place of retreat before they’re ready to open up those doors, it can be extremely uncomfortable and scary for the Fourth House person. Think of it as you having a room in your home filled with memories in the form of pictures or moving images, like the moving portraits in Hogwarts. These moving portraits are filled with the sunny moments of your life, but also the gloomy moments of your life. You alone have the key to this room. You allow someone into your home, but they find the key, enter the room, turn on the light, and begin viewing all of these memories without your consent. This person is actively disrespecting your boundaries and breaking your trust. Yes, you allowed them into your home, but you never gave them permission to unlock those doors filled with the foundation of who you are today. That is sort of what the Sun in the fourth house synastry overlay is like. Which is why it is important to establish and respect each other's boundaries and be patient with one another. Trust that in time, the Fourth House person will let you see those parts of themselves when they are ready. When this time does come around the Fourth House person starts to make space and time for the Sun person to be a part of their home, until they eventually become each other's home.

Okay, now to get into the playlist I created and the story it tells based off of this synastry overlay. The playlist (can be found by pressing the link at the bottom of this post) contains 5 songs put all together to create a 19 minute long vibe with the subtitle “Settle.”

The first song of this playlist is Undivided by Roy Woods. I wanted to start this playlist off with this song as a representation of the Fourth House person, someone who isn’t a homebody being hit by this Sun in the fourth house overlay. The Fourth House person finds themselves wanting to stay home with the Sun person. Staying home cooking with them or cuddling them, just being domesticated with them in general becomes more interesting and exciting than going out and being around others. This is described from the start of the song with the lyrics:

“I don't party on Friday night.”

“I don't party on Saturday no more.”

“I ain't hit the club, drinking at the crib with the bros, pinching all the ounce from the plug.”

It becomes a point where you look forward to just being alone with your partner because as Roy mentions, “Mind is clear when we lay down. Shorty understands me, I'm safe in your arms now. First time for a lot of things now, shorty you got me weak.” The “first time” line and the “safe in your arms” line in connection to this playlist refers back to the first few lines of not going out no more and being okay with your lifestyle changing for this person to become a (hopefully) permanent part of your life. To me, the “you got me weak” line is saying that your partner has broken down your walls and though that can typically feel scary, with trust in the Sun person, it feels reassuring to finally be understood by someone who knows what you are thinking and feeling intuitively. This is also mentioned in the lines of Roy’s mind being clear and from the chorus of the song, “She understands me, what goes on in my life, what goes on in my mind.” The Fourth House person has formed a deep emotional connection and sometimes an emotionally dependent and addictive connection with the Sun person due to how intimate and nurturing this overlay feels, to the point where the Fourth House person gives the Sun person all of them, this is seen here, “They said you should take time, that's why I'm giving her mine and it's undivided.” At the end of verse 2 when Roy says, “I've told you about the things I'm scared of and they don't trouble you and that's because you understand me.” The Fourth House person has exposed themselves to the Sun person, sharing their deepest secrets with them and since this is the fourth house, opening up about their family and their traumas to them. The Sun person makes the Fourth House person feel at ease and secure, so they don’t mind pouring out their heart and soul to them and becoming an open book when it comes to the Sun person. The Fourth House person is not afraid to be vulnerable. It feels as if you both were meant to find each other in this lifetime because of how instant the connection is and how familiar it all feels. The outro of this song puts emphasis on how both the Sun and the Fourth House person feels this intimate and familial connection with each other with Roy repeating the line, “you wanted it as much as I”…

The second song of this playlist is also the namesake of the subtitle of this “Once Upon A Time” story, it is Settle by BAYNK and Sinéad Harnett. I used this song as a representation of the Sun person. The first 2 lines, “It’s not what you say to me. No, it’s just the way that you say it to me.” Represents the familiarity that the Sun person feels with the Fourth House person. The Fourth House person brings out a feeling of comfort, a feeling that nothing is wrong and you’re safe with them. In relation to this song in this playlist, this comfort can be felt simply through their words. There is a gut feeling that they were meant to be with one another. It can feel as if you’re not meeting each other for the first time, but simply picking up from where you left off. The line “I saw the best part of me inside you.” Represents the Sun person's heart becoming elevated by the Fourth House person's soul. The Fourth House person is an open book and vulnerable with the Sun person, as represented by the first song of this playlist, Undivided. This in turn, leads to the Sun person being able to see themselves in the Fourth House person. As a result of this, the Sun person feels very protective of the Fourth House person and wants to become a caretaker for them. They want to provide a home whether that be within themselves or literally, for the Fourth House person. They would do anything to make sure that the Fourth House person feels safe and content when they’re together. The Sun person would defend the Fourth House person with their life. This is also seen in this line from the chorus, “I promise you, I’ll protect you forever.” These next lines from verse 2, “Yeah, you really get me into my zone. Loving you only feels right.” Represents the Sun person feeling like they are meant to be with the Fourth House person. From the beginning of this connection, it feels as if you are home through the overall sense of security that this synastry overlay carries, and this is felt by both the Sun and the Fourth House person. This is a quiet kind of love, one where you lay seaside on a towel reading a book together or short trips spent in the car singing along to your favorite songs. Anything to have this person remain a constant in your day-to-day life, “If you want me to, I'll stick with you, we’ll settle”…

The third song of this playlist is Take It Home by Alina Baraz. I wanted to use this song as a representation of both the Sun person and the Fourth House person because I feel like the message I’m trying to convey with this song based on the Sun In the fourth house synastry overlay can be applied vice-versa. Not only is it a representation of both, but it is most importantly a representation of the mindfulness that I recommend having with this connection. It is, after all, one of the three water houses (4th, 8th, 12th) and on top of that being an angular/cardinal house (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th). The water houses are primarily emotional in nature. Once these houses are activated in synastry, emotions are brought to the surface, you’re more vulnerable and can easily become codependent with the need to merge. The angular/cardinal houses are primarily introspective in nature. Once these houses are activated in synastry, the person activating it will have an influential impact in your lifetime. You will instantly experience them and it will lead to getting more familiar with your soul and subconscious. Now that we’ve established that, let’s get into the lyrics of this song and it’s connection to the Sun in the fourth house synastry overlay:

“I just wanna figure out somewhere you could take me, I been stressin’ lately.” To me this line represents relying on your person to be your escape, the one person that is your home and your comfort. You’re aware of the fact that your person understands you, wants to take care of you, and protect you in any way possible, so you lean onto them because of the safety and familiarity that they exude. This next line is from the pre-chorus, “We could take it slow, won’t you say it?” Since you both want to be there for each other and be each other’s constant, you’re both taking on the responsibility of being gentle and patient with each other. But the one thing you should be mindful of is the fact that as a result of this being an angular/cardinal house, it can be extremely uncomfortable when this is activated. Sometimes it can lead to trust issues and maybe you’re simply just not ready to let someone into those parts of yourself. Regardless of you not being ready to open up, since this is a water and angular/cardinal house, these feelings just seem to easily spill over the surface and it feels like your person is able to read you as if you’re an open book. It is the responsibility of both partners to set clear boundaries and try to move at a slow pace to build comfort and trust for one another. This next line is also from the pre-chorus, “‘Cause I know you know that you feel it in your soul.” Both the Sun and the Fourth House person are aware of this connection, and to me, this line is a representation of water house synastry in general. It always feels soul-deep. As if your bodies aren’t meeting one another, but your souls are. To me, verse 2 represents the establishment of boundaries and patience that I recommended you should have when talking about the pre-chorus of this song, “You say that you want someone to hold, I just wanna get you all alone. You just gotta say it, don’t you keep me waiting.” Well maybe the “Don’t you keep me waiting.” line isn’t an example of patience, but it is a representation of moving at the pace of the other person by mentioning, “You just gotta say it.” as in, the ball is in your court. Before I end this song's breakdown of this playlist, I just wanna ask, doesn't the instrumental of this song remind you of a fairytale or is it just me? Okay, now the outro I feel doesn’t need much of an explanation as to why I added it in here, “You just gotta take it home”…

The fourth song of this playlist is Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County. I really love this song, it’s so precious and beautiful to me. This song in relation to this playlist is meant to be seen from the Sun person's perspective. Immediately from the first line, “The great protector, is that what I’m supposed to be?” The Sun person — as mentioned when discussing the second song of this playlist, Settle — feels very protective of the Fourth House person. They take on the responsibility of being the protector and safe haven for the Fourth House person, even without being asked to do so. From the first verse, “Seventy-mil projector, I can show you everything.” The mention of a 70-millimeter projector refers to the high resolution films that use 70-mm film formats in order to capture a larger in size and wider aspect ratio, in comparison to the standard 35-mm film format. 70-mm films are considered better and special because the film comes out sharper, bigger, and more stable in image. Even though a 70-mm film is considered better, they’re not commonly produced because they’re far more expensive and it takes more work to present. If you would like to know more about the significance of 70-mm films and how they came to be, here are two links. (This first link leads to a YouTube video that is about 1 minute long and this second link leads to a YouTube video that is about 12.5 minutes long.) In relation to this song and this overlay, the Sun person is letting the Fourth House person know that they can show them and offer them more than anyone ever has. Normal and average is not what their baby deserves, no, they believe that the Fourth House person deserves the best there is to offer and they’re willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that they have it and get to experience it with them. “And we’re on our way to glory, where the show won’t ever end. And the encore lasts forever and it’s time we’re due to spend.” Keeping up with the theme of films, we see actors and actresses receive praise and glory for their work and they gain a certain level of protection where from the outside looking in, they seem untouchable. It seems like they receive the best that life has to offer. The Sun person is letting the Fourth House person know that with them, the feeling of glory, receiving the best that life has to offer, praise, and being their protector will always remain a constant because, “I’ll gladly say again, I hope the encore lasts forever. Now there’s time for us to spend.” From Verse 2, “Spending the years together, growing older every day (every day). I feel at home when I’m around you.” With this being a fourth house synastry overlay, this couple tends to want to spend a lot of time with each other. The “growing older every day” line truly is fitting to me because when I think of fourth house synastry, I immediately start picturing the scene from Inception when Cobb and Mal grow old together. It is quite a precious synastry overlay. You truly just want to find a way to fit into each other's lives and stay there forever. You spend time in each other’s homes and with each other’s families. Time spent doting on and in the comfort of one another. This couple finds a home within each other. “And it’s sublime with you.” How can you want to be with anyone else when every moment with your significant other is so exceptional? Nothing compares to the way that you feel when you’re with them. Continuing verse 2, “This right here still feels like a honeymoon. When you say my name, nothing’s changed.” Years may pass, but with the Fourth House person, the Sun person remains in the honeymoon phase with their love.

During my research it was mentioned that for some, this synastry overlay either happens very early or very late in your life. For this reason, this next line from verse 2 is for the ones reading this who has or is experiencing this synastry overlay early on in their life, “I’m still a boy inside my thoughts, am I meant to understand my faults?” With a relationship happening so early on in your life, it can lead to you not taking it seriously and just being a kid because… you technically are. While writing about the third song of this playlist, Take It Home, I mentioned the emotional and introspective nature that a fourth house synastry overlay can have on the people experiencing it. Being so young and having to deal with such heavy emotions, it’s not something that you’re going to take seriously, and in my opinion, that is okay. To me, you should live your childhood being as youthful as possible. Allow yourself the freedom to simply be and play. “As soon as I'm old enough (old enough to understand).” When you grow older you can look back on it and take the time to understand your faults and hopefully grow from it to become a better person. But for now, I say, don’t worry and just let yourself be in the present moment.

This next line is from the outro and it kind of connects (once again) back to the second song of this playlist, Settle, “It’s you that knows my darkness, and you know my bedroom needs. You could blast me and my secrets, but there’s probably just no need.” The Sun person feels comfortable with the Fourth House person and confides in them. They’re aware of the risk taken with being so vulnerable with the Fourth House person, but they also know that the Fourth House person is just as deeply sensitive towards them. Just like the Fourth House person, the Sun person also has a room filled with moving portraits (honestly, we all do), and the Sun person somehow finds comfort in the Fourth House person viewing their moving portraits. They know that with the Fourth House person, they won’t be judged, but loved for who they truly are. In turn, the Sun person wants to show the Fourth House person their darkness, express their bedroom needs, and secrets. To add onto this, in my research it was mentioned that because the Fourth House person compliments the Sun person with their nurturing energies, your ego and intuition can become well-balanced with each other. Through this, you tend to be the most authentic and pure version of yourselves with each other, this helps with loving one another's heart, mind, body and soul. Just like the previous song, the instrumental of this song (starting from the 2:45 mark) also reminds me of a fairytale. This line is from the outro, “Stay forever, you know more than anyone”…

The fifth and final song of this playlist is over and over by sky. I wanted to use this song as a representation of the Fourth House person and how the Sun person consumes them. Starting with verse 1, “Put my hands around your shoulders, that's the way that I hold ya. I could lay with you forever, baby, oh.” The Fourth House person can’t help but want to touch the Sun person. It’s almost a feeling of wanting to crawl into your partner's skin just to forever be a part of them and never miss a waking moment. This is the synastry overlay where you would suggest that a couple probably has separation anxiety because they never seem to be apart from each other. They will always find a way to touch each other, and if they can’t do that, they won't be too far from one another. For example, they’re cooking together, you’re not gonna hold hands with your partner (or maybe they will find a way lol), but it could be a scenario where one person is cooking while the other is sitting in the kitchen with them in a comfortable silence or talking to each other. If not that, then they’re both in the kitchen cooking and while one person slices the vegetables, the other is seasoning the meat. Whatever domestic scenario you can think of, this couple will find a way to do it together. These next lines are from verse 2, “Put your hoodie over my head. Stay and talk to me in my bed, think we finally found the real thing, baby.” Anything that has to do with the Sun person, the Fourth House person wants it to be a part of them. They’re game. They will find a way to be around each other, for things that you wouldn’t imagine two people could do, they would find a loophole to that. The Sun person brings out the youthful aura in the Fourth House person. They’re not afraid to say “Hold me.” or express their deepest feelings, and the Sun person welcomes those feelings with open arms. They don’t only want to share your sunny moments, they want you to find comfort in them to express your gloomy moments as well. They want to make it all better for you. The Sun person makes the Fourth House person feel as if nothing is wrong and becomes the Fourth House person's comfort zone. From the chorus, “I'm fallin' everyday, something came over me, I'd give you everything.” To me, the chorus expresses how everyday you find more of a reason to love your partner and stick by them. Even when those butterflies that you had at the beginning of the relationship fly away, you still find more reasons to stay and to love your partner. You want to be the best version of yourself for them. If it means them staying, you would give them anything and everything that you could possibly give, “Over and over again”…

The Sun and the Fourth House person found a home within one another where their moving portraits could “Settle” and they lived Happily Ever After…

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