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ot7heaven · 1 month

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Never Let You Go

Pairing: idol!hobi x manager!reader Genre: fluff, angst Words: 4362 Warnings: none Chapter 2: San Man Previous Chapter | Next Chapter Series Masterlist OT7Heaven Masterlist

Just as Hunny starts tucking into her salad, Jihyeon glides into the break room. Effortlessly rocking the heels she loves to wear, Jihyeon looks the part. It’s not hard to believe she’s a nail technician judging by the way she’s always so put together. Hunny has only known Jihyeon for a month but she already admires her so much. Her infectious laughter, calming and kind personality, professionalism and kdrama actress good looks have made Jihyeon a favourite with staff and spa clients. Hunny is so glad to have found a spa with such nice employees.

“Is everything going okay out there?” Hunny asks, popping a cherry tomato into her mouth.

“The girls out there look rushed off their feet!”

“Let’s stay in here and hide for a while then,” Hunny laughs. “What scrumptious food have you brought in today?” The spa manager asks.

Setting her lunch on the table, Jihyeon replies “Kimchi Jjigae and also homemade brownies for afterwards.”

“My mouth is watering just thinking about those brownies!” Hunny exclaims. Last week it was Namseok’s birthday. Jihyeon brought in homemade matcha croissants for the waxer’s birthday. Needless to say, there were none left for him to take home after everyone enjoyed them on the morning break.

“Actually Lucas made these.” Jihyeon explains. Her boyfriend is a pastry chef in the kitchen of one of the fanciest hotels in Seoul - no, in all of Korea. Having a hot French pastry chef boyfriend at home is a blessing Jihyeon could never take for granted.

“So I'm guessing they’re out-of-this-world amazing, then?” Hunny asks as if the answer isn’t at all obvious in any way.

Laughing as she nods her head, Jihyeon slides the container across the table towards Hunny. Hunny is on a diet - again - but how can she resist? Surely one little brownie is okay… With its chunky chocolate chips and an ‘eat me’ deeply chocolatey scent… She barters with herself and decides to go to the gym 6 times this week instead of the usual 5. She inspects the brownies until she finds one with the most chocolate chips. She makes that brownie her victim.

Noticing Hunny’s tactics, Jihyeon smiles “I think they all have lots of chocolate chips in them. Lucas knows we would have to break up if he deprived me of chocolate.”

Hunny puts the chosen brownie in her bag so she can enjoy it later at home. “Seriously, chocolate owns me. Chocolate has made me its little slave.” She disposes of the salad container and sips on her coffee. “I wonder if it settles down when we're back out there.” Huuny says hopefully as her eyes drift towards the door.

“Ugh, I hope so,” Jihyeon says, putting a cube of tofu in her mouth. “It seems that every guest in the hotel decided that today is the day for manicures and massages.”

The first verse of 'Dynamite' by Bangtan starts playing on the radio. Hunny smiles to herself as she reminisces about her chance encounter with Hobi yesterday. She’s spent so long being bombarded with Bangtan on the radio, television and even on Tumblr. One of her mutuals often posts edits and one shots regarding idols. Scrolling through Tumblr, she has seen one shots of Hobi. Hunny always scrolls by quickly when she sees Hobi’s name as it’s just too weird. Yes, Hobi is hot. Yes, he’s an idol. And yes, Tumblr is rife with Hobi thirst traps and edits. But being his childhood friend, Hunny thinks it crosses a line. One that she couldn't possibly allow herself to cross.

Gesturing upstairs towards the hotel rooms, “If you were doing in-room treatments you'd have no radio. So maybe being down here in the chaos is actually better than the tranquillity of doing treatments in the peace and quiet of a fancy suite.” Hunny offers, taking another sip of her coffee.

Giving it less than five seconds of thought, Jihyeon shakes her head with a slight smirk. “No, I have to say I actually prefer to be down here in the spa. Upstairs, I don’t have you or Namseok or anyone else to talk to. I feel a bit intimidated by the guests in the rooms.” She honestly admits.

“You do?” Hunny would never have guessed that Jihyeon's Achilles heel would be her confidence.

“Well, the guests that come down to the spa are relatable. I easily find common ground and I can just be myself. The guests in the suites? The fancy expensive suites? They expect more and I don’t always know how to connect with them.” She trails off shyly.

Hunny feels touched that Jihyeon felt she could be this open with her. “You just have to be yourself with all of your clients. I mean, you’re working in an award winning hotel for a reason! If you run out of topics to talk about you could always tell them about Lucas’ tasty croissants.” Hunny offers this advice sincerely because she knows how scary it can be to talk to rich clients who expect the world.

With a raised eyebrow, Jihyeon quips “Lucas’ tasty croissant? That’s for me and me alone.”

“You can behave yourself right now!” Hunny laughs. “You know what I meant.” She says as she disposes of her coffee cup. Heading towards the door to continue her shift, Hunny offers Jihyeon one last piece of advice. “If you ever need some advice or just a chat, my office door is always open.”

After her shift, Hunny decides to get her eyebrows waxed. Namseok made a joke about them looking a little too wild. She thought that they looked fine - oops. She didn’t want to ask him to stay at work late so she tracked down a salon that she’s heard good things about. Pulling her car into a parking space, she turns the radio down so she can call her sister. Jinseong went to university in Denmark and fell in love. She stayed in Denmark after graduation to be with her Danish boyfriend. Not long after graduation, they got married and started a family. Hunny sometimes wishes she studied abroad. She thinks of the life she could be living right now if she left Korea. She could be fluent in English instead of her skills being just about conversational. She could improve her Japanese speaking skills. Hunny wishes that her speaking skills were as good as her listening skills because she feels overwhelmed and lost most of the time when she speaks Japanese. Hunny could have gone on so many adventures and seen so much of the world. She’s not yet left Asia apart from trips to see Jinseong and her new family. Jinseong may only be two years older than Hunny but she still feels so far behind her cool older sister. Hunny’s attempts at playing catch up have amounted to nothing. This only makes her break up with Sonhee more devastating.

After a few rings, Jinseong answers. “Hunny Hunny!”

Just hearing her sister’s voice fills Hunny’s heart with love. She beams, “Eonnie, I've missed your voice. How’s your day?”

“It’s only 10:30 in the morning so the day hasn’t even started yet,” Jinseong jokes. “Well, that’s if you don’t count Karen’s morning tantrum which seems to be a daily occurrence now.”

“Oh no. What happened? Is my little angel okay?” Hunny is her niece’s fiercest protector.

Jinseong scoffs, “Little angel? Little angels don’t cry because they want to come to work with mommy. Lars has taken her to see his parents so they'll be out of town until the evening, I guess.”

“So you can come home from work and relax in the bathtub with a very large glass of wine?” Given the time, Hunny assumes that Jinseong is on her morning coffee break and would love something a little stronger than coffee.

”Ooh, that does sound like a good idea! How are you doing? It’s been so long since we last spoke.”

Realising that they haven’t spoken since Hunny moved to Seoul, she mentally scolds herself for not keeping in touch during the move. “I’m good. All settled in now. Just missing my Karen.”

“Have you made any friends yet?” Jinseong asks. She really cares about Hunny. Knowing it can be scary moving to a city, she just wants to give Hunny a huge hug and tell her this adventure is going to be amazing.

“I’ve made a few friends at work. My colleague, Jihyeon, gave me a homemade brownie today. I just couldn’t resist. So Sunday will no longer be my rest day. A quick 30 minute jog and that brownie will be forgotten about.”

Jinseong sighs, ”You’re lucky that you don’t live in Copenhagen. The bakeries here are amazing.”

“I’d never see a rest day again in my life!” Hunny laughs.

“So Jihyeon bakes?” Jinseong quizzes.

“Her boyfriend does. He’s a French pastry chef. Jealous doesn't even begin to describe how I feel” Hunny jokes.

“I bet. She’s a lucky girl. And how are you feeling today,” her tone shifts, “with it being the day of what would be your four year anniversary?”

Reality hit Hunny like a brick. She spent so long surrounded by memories of him in Gwangju. Memories that she thought she’d never escape. Four years of being a dream team gone. Just like that. Ouch. She now remembers why she was so desperate to move to Seoul. She hasn’t cried in weeks but feels tears threatening to spill. The man she thought she might marry is no longer in her life and she hasn't thought about it for weeks. That’s either Hunny moving on Hunny going on autopilot to cope with this big life change. She’s surprised that Jinseong remembered the anniversary and she didn’t.

Shaking her head and blinking fast, “I haven’t thought about Sonhee much recently. I think I’m just trying to get used to being in Seoul that I haven’t really had time for anything or anyone else. I’m sorry that I haven’t called you in a while.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry. You’ve been busy. I just want you to be okay.” Jinseong reassures her younger sister.

“I think I am going to be okay. It just may take some time for me to really believe it. One of my colleagues - employees - said that my eyebrows were looking a little too wild today. Wow, saying 'employees' is going to take some getting used to.” Hunny laughs, “He was only teasing. Everyone at work has been welcoming and kind, so I think I’ll be okay. They all seem like great friends.”

“Is he a friend or something more?” Jinseong cheekily asks.

“Namseok is not even a friend yet. I don’t know him that well so it’s been weeks of polite small talk.” Hunny says, hoping that she gets the chance to know him as well as everyone else at work knows him. “I’m actually about to get my eyebrows waxed. Would you mind at all if we ended the call here and carried this conversation on later?” Hunny hates ending phone calls with Jinseong. Timezones and busy lives mean they don’t even get weekly check in calls.

“Go! Go get your sexy brows and we can talk later. I’ll call you on my afternoon break. I love you Hunny.”

“I love you Eonnie. Bye.” After cutting the call, Hunny steps out of the car and makes her way to the salon.

After what felt like an unnecessarily long day all Hunny wanted to do was sit on her couch, watch Business Proposal and eat that dreamy homemade brownie. Just as she took her first bite of chocolatey goodness, a flash of pure white came running in from the hallway. The surface of Hunny’s face was just 90% pure smile at the sight of her cat. Sonhee had gotten Hunny a kitten for her 25th birthday. She spent so long saying she wanted a dog. However, her apartment was tiny. It would not have been ideal or realistic to raise a dog in that apartment. Sonhee compromised and brought San into Hunny’s life. San is the best friend she’s ever had. He occasionally reminds her of Sonhee but he’s a nice way to remember the good times they shared. She doesn’t know how she would have coped with moving to a new city if she had to leave San back in Gwangju.

With her eyes rolling back at how good the brownie tastes, Hunny licks her lips. “San Man, why can’t you bake like this?” The white ball of fur nestles next to her on the couch. He purrs with contentment, happy to have his owner back home from work. Before Hunny can even miss the taste of the brownie on her tongue, her phone starts to ring. Leaning over to look at the coffee table, Hunny notices that it is Jinseong. A video call? Now that’s more like it. Hunny misses her eonnie’s face. Propping her phone up against a decorative potpourri bowl on her coffee table, she presses the answer button.

No sooner than the call connected did Karen’s little face take up the whole screen. Hunny’s five year niece beamed as she saw her long distance auntie for the first time in too long. “Hunny Eonnie! Eomma told me to give you a kiss before I have a nap,” the small shouted into the screen, not realising that her indoor voice would be much appreciated.

“Karen, I love your kisses. Thank you so much my little Bunny.”

Jinseong appeared as she placed Karen on her lap. ”Let’s see those brows then,” she said, trying to hold a hyperactive Karen in place as she attempted to wriggle out of her mother’s grip.

Hunny leaned down so her sister could inspect her brows through the screen, “I think they’re the best I’ve ever had. Don’t you think so?”

After a quick inspection, Jinseong nods in approval. “Lookin’ good, girl! Just don’t tell the waxers at work that you cheated on them,” Jinseong laughs. She looks over to the right as she places Karen back on the floor. “Karen, give Hunny Eonnie one last kiss. Appa’s ready to read you a story now.”

“Can he read me The Little Mermaid?” The sweet child asks with the biggest puppy dog eyes Hunny has ever seen.

Jinseong beams down at her daughter and teases, “Only if Hunny Eonnie agrees.”

Okay. Hunny was wrong. These eyes are the biggest puppy dog eyes she’s ever seen. In a way, Hunny is lucky she doesn’t live in the same country as Karen. She knows she would have to say goodbye to her disposable income and free time. And maybe, her sanity.

“Hunny Eonnie…” those puppy dog eyes get bigger with each syllable. Hunny doesn’t know how Karen does it but she has everyone wrapped around her finger at all times. There must be magic behind those sparkly brown eyes. “Can Appa read me The Little Mermaid?”

“Seeing as you asked so politely, of course he can Bunny. But first, I want another kiss.”

Karen kisses the screen for the briefest of seconds. Not wanting to miss out on any reading time before her nap. And in an instant, she runs out of the room.

“Wasn’t she going to see Lars’ parents today?” Hunny asks suddenly, remembering that Jinseong should be at work and Karen should be at the coast with her appa’s parents.

Jinseong pouts, “She fell over and cut her knee up pretty badly. She wouldn't let Lars’ eomma clean her up unless I left work early and kissed it better.” It’s never easy seeing your child in pain and hurt. Especially when you’re almost one hour away. As much as she loves her marketing job, she would drop everything to be there when Karen needs her. And she has. Multiple times. She really can do it all - career woman and mother. Hunny is always in awe of her.

Hunny’s heart sinks at the thought of her little Bunny being hurt. “Oh, no. When you go into her room make sure to give her extra kisses from me.” There’s no ocean Hunny wouldn’t cross just to make her little niece giggle and smile. Man, she loves Karen’s lopsided grin. She’s currently missing one of her front teeth but that somehow adds to her charm.

Nodding, Jinseong sits up straight. “So, come on. Anything new with you?” Always one for a gossip session, Jinseong brings out Hunny’s talkative side like no other. Jinseong feels like a friend rather than a sister. Hunny’s so grateful for that. If Hunny had a brother instead, the connection just wouldn't be the same.

San stretches out, taking up even more room on the couch. At this point, Hunny will need to buy a bigger couch. Stroking the mini cloud beside her, Hunny thinks back to her meeting with Hobi yesterday. Jinseong still doesn’t know about it. Jinseong got along with all of Hunny’s childhood friends. The kids in the neighbourhood all hung out together. Everyone knew everyone’s business so eventually Jinseong would become friendly with Hunny’s friends, and vice versa. The fact that Hobi lived 4 houses away meant that he would be at Hunny’s house almost every day. The days when he wasn’t, Hunny was at his house. Jinseong hopes that Karen’s childhood will be like that. Living in the centre of a big city should be great but it lacks the small town feel that everyone’s childhood needs.

“Well, yesterday I went to this cafe near my apartment. Jihyeon from work recommended it to me because we live in the same neighbourhood and she knows all the good spots.” Hunny starts.

Jinseong’s eyes light up, “Ooh, how was it?”

“I have to say, it lived up to the hype. Most cafes in Seoul are pretty but the drinks are terrible. Thankfully that was not the case here.” Hunny makes a mental note to go back to the cafe soon. “I was about to leave and guess who called out my name.”

Jinseong wracks her brain. Who do they both know living in Seoul? Unless it was someone from their hometown who was visiting Seoul. But who? “I really have no clue,” her eyes dart to the side as if she’ll find answers there. “I can only think of Eomma and Appa… have they moved to Seoul to secretly spy on you?”

Hunny laughs in amusement, “No, they’re still on their American cruise. Eomma keeps sending me photos of Baskin Robbins!”

“Aw, she’s so sweet. Someone needs to tell her that there are such things as international chain restaurants.” The elder sister smiles as she remembers being surprised when she first recognised the names of restaurants and stores in Denmark, quickly learning that 711 was not a little Korean secret. “But, who? I couldn't even begin to guess. My mind is empty. Well, it’s empty apart from the ‘Encanto’ soundtrack.” She laughs, never being able to escape ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno’ thanks to Karen’s latest favourite movie.

“Jung Hoseok - I saw Hobi!” Hunny bursts out unable to contain her excitement.

“No way. He was just in the cafe?” Jinseong found it hard to believe an idol would be in a space so public and potentially busy. Don’t idols hangout at their companies where they can socialise away from prying eyes?

With a nod accompanying a beaming smile, Hunny replies “He was sitting in the corner but, yes. I had to do a double take. It’s been years. Like, so many years but that’s still my Hobi.” Now Hunny was the one whose eyes mimicked an innocent puppy.

“How is he doing?” Jinseong asks with a warm tone.

“Oh Eonnie, he seems so happy. And he hasn’t changed.” She says just as San purrs.

“I think San approves,” Jinseong jokes.

“I should hope so! We exchanged phone numbers and we’re hanging out on Friday.” Hunny feels as though she’s been given the biggest lifeline by finding Hobi. If they can recreate their childhood friendship, Hunny will need no one else. The two best friends were inseparable once and, if life hasn’t burned them too much, hopefully their old roles will fit like a glove.

“You’ll have to say hello from me.” Jinseong says.

“We’ll have no time to talk about you. We have a LOT to catch up on,” The younger sister proclaims in jest. “Min Yoongi was also there…” She sheepishly utters. She can’t even attempt to hide how flush her cheeks have become at the mere mention of her bias and celebrity crush.

“Hunny, tell me everything! Have you set a date for the wedding yet?” Jinseong quips.

“Don’t even joke about that because if I let myself daydream about marrying Yoongi, I’ll start to be severely disappointed when I remember that I live in the real world.” Hunny doesn’t have a list of boxes a man needs to tick to win her heart. Her dream man doesn’t need to look a certain way, have a certain job or have certain hobbies. That being said, Yoongi ticks every hypothetical box imaginable. And extra boxes. If there was a dream man, it’d be Min Yoongi and Min Yoongi only. Yoongi is perfect. Or rather, the public image he projects is perfect.

“Was he everything you’d hope he’d be?” Meeting someone you admire isn’t always advisable. Idols have a certain image that their companies have created for them. Just because an idol is funny and sincere in an interview, that doesn’t mean that they’re not a major jerk when they’re not at work.

Smiling into the phone screen, Hunny may need to pinch herself to ensure she’s reminded that the encounter wasn’t a daydream. “After a while, it felt just like talking to Hobi,” she admits.

“That’s so great. A couple of weeks ago I watched their show that they livestreamed from Seoul. Was it called ‘Permission To Dance?’ Or something like that?” Jinseong searches her mind for the name of the concert.

Instantly, Hunny has the answer. Of course she does. “Yep, ’Permission To Dance’. You’re starting to become an army?”

“Well Karen has gotten into kpop since I played Blackpink in the car. I wish she spoke more Korean so kpop karaoke sessions in the car are becoming our morning routine. I even heard Lars singing ‘Whistle’ whilst cooking dinner last week.” Jinseong chuckles.

Hunny laughs, “Please tell me his bias is Jisoo.” Jisoo is Hunny’s Blackpink bias. It seems as though Jisoo is the least biased member, so Hunny always gets excited whenever she finds out Jisoo is someone’s bias.

“I think she might be.” Jinseong tries to recall listening to Blackpink with Lars, but she can only remember her excitement at having a fellow Blackpink fan in her house.

“Good man Lars,” Hunny approves. “So you were watching the Bangtan concert?”

“Yes. So Karen has decided that Bangtan might be her next fixation. She begged me to watch it so that she could learn their songs,” she explains.

“I knew there was a reason I liked that kid.”

Jinseong laughs, “She kept on saying ‘I like him’ whenever Yoongi appeared on the screen.” It’s highly likely that thousands, if not, millions of girls shared Karen’s exact thought. “I think she wants to marry ‘Life Goes On’ Yoongi when she grows up.”

“Get in line, kid. But seriously, I think it’s so cute that she may become a little blink or army,” the doting auntie remarks. San, clearly not impressed at the prospect of having another army in his life, jumps off the couch and retreats to his bed next to the floor length window.

Hunny yawns. She wishes she could be discreet about it and yawn like a lady. She wishes she could be like that. Sadly, her tiredness forces her manners to take a backseat. Before she can comprehend what it takes to begin to feel embarrassed about showing Jinseong all of her teeth along with her tonsils, she yawns again. These gigantic yawns are becoming increasingly involuntary.

“Tired?” Jinseong giggles. She realises how late it must be in Korea. Hunny actually completed a full shift today, unlike her elder sister. On top of that, she also worked out before work. Jinseong respects Hunny for working out before work every morning. Why on earth would anyone want to wake up earlier than absolutely necessary? Hunny should just workout after she finishes work. Like normal people. Like Jinseong.

“So tired,” Hunny mumbles along with another yawn. Stretching her arms in an attempt to wake herself up, Hunny stumbles and slides off the couch. Luckily she has a large sheepskin rug placed under the coffee table to break her fall.

Unable to hold a laugh in, Jinseong reluctantly mocks her sister. “Be careful. If you fell through the floor and into your neighbour’s apartment, you know I’d pee myself from laughing so much.”

“Meanie!” Hunny pouts as she finds comfort on her leather couch. Trying to take the high ground would prove useless because Hunny knows all too well that she would laugh so hard if the roles were reversed.

“You should head off to bed. We can talk again soon. Next time Karen can talk your ear off about Yoongi.” Karen loves talking about her new obsessions. Once she gets started, she doesn’t stop. She reminds Jinseong of a young Hunny. Maybe that’s why they get along so well.

“I like the sound of that. Talk soon?”

“Jinseong nods, “Soon.”

“I love you Eonnie.”

“I love you Hunny. Sleep well.” Hunny’s phone screen returns to her wallpaper of San sleeping on Hunny’s periwinkle blue pillows.

Hunny finally takes herself off to bed once she finishes brushing her teeth and completing her skincare routine. Getting her nightly routine down to just five steps is an accomplishment Hunny is proud of. Her skin certainly thanks her for it. But right now she’s that tired that it feels like a twenty step routine. Her bed has never felt as cosy as it does tonight. Her pillows are soft and plump. Her mattress is just the right level of firm. She welcomes sleep as soon as her head hits the pillow.

#hobi #j hope #bts #bts fanfic #bangtan sonyeondan #방탄소년단 #아미 #fanfic #friends to lovers #childhood friends #slow burn #love triangle #idol au #fluff #angst #j-hope x reader #hobi x reader #bts x reader #bts x reader fic

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astudyincontrasts · 11 months

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Here’s a little confession for you, study <3

I used to read x reader fics as a kid (probs at 10-12?) but since it isn’t very acceptable even in some fandom spaces, I stopped. When I found your writing, I still felt a little weird about it and almost ashamed? But your writing has given me back the joy I felt as a kid reading silly x reader Naruto fics in the best of ways???

Like. I remember reading Penance for the first time, and pressing to get notifications whenever you post to keep track of your writing? And seeing the “study has posted ‘Penance - Chapter 10’” gave me so much joy. I can’t even express it with words. Seeing you post anything, writing or not, just makes me so happy. <3

And today I was rereading some old Penance asks, and my dad asked what I was grinning about and I just dismissed him but he said something along the lines of “it’s nice to see you smile, anyway.” I know your writing isn’t, like, the cure to depression (actually it might be), but. Just. Finding such joy in reading again after years of not doing so, and after years of depression,,,,,,,,,,,,,, girl (gender neutral) do you understand the power you hold?

I’m just rambling but I wanted you to know that your writing literally changed my life for the better. <3 I hope you’re well and I’m sending you all the best <3

you come to my house, you make me cry my own tears?? ?

No sorry you get back here RIGHT NOW and get hugged for like three straight hours. IMMEDIATELY RIGHT NOW GET BETWEEN THESE ARMS OR SO HELP ME

Fuck. You got me good, fam. I’m a little shaky-handed emotional rn. This is such a sweet thing to come tell me, and more than feeling proud that you liked my work, I’m proud of you for finding that spark of joy in your life again, for smiling and being excited and sharing in the world. Thank you for this and for being so incredibly lovely 🖤

When it comes to x reader fics I’ll be honest with you, I never wrote a single one in the many many years I’ve been writing. I took a very long hiatus from tumblr and writing after the porn ban gutted my friend group on here and Arcane kinda dragged me back to tumblr after I fell in love with it. I wanted to start writing again after devouring Gaybybirth’s entire Viktor library and when I took a look at the landscape of fic writing, x readers were literally all I saw, so I figured what the hell, that’s the popular format now I might as well. I get the appeal of it too; you can more easily slip yourself into the story and enjoy the canon character you want to bang without having to wrestle with someone else’s OC standing between you and your beloved blorbo. I’m not sure it’s the best format for my work but I enjoy it and so far it’s been loads of fun to play with. I’m definitely shifting slowly, moving away from y/n use which tbh feels kind of childish and awkward and interrupts the flow, and more toward first person perspective OC vibes that people can still feel comfortable reading as themselves.

None of that matters though. What matters is how I’m going to be thinking about this sweet, wonderful message for a very long time, and how happy I am that something I made could mean so much to you. “It’s nice to see you smile” … that’s a pretty awesome power, but I think it also belongs to you 🖤🖤🖤🖤

#asks #penance #😭🖤#don’t look at me my eyes are sweating

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thesixthstar · 1 year

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Ughhhhh posting this here because I have a tumblr tag instead of a dream journal and usually that’s fine and I’m good posting incredibly personal shit online for various levels of strangers/friends etc but uhhh if we hang out IRL please don’t read this one.

Fucking DEEPLY upsetting and stressful dream today that I’m hoping the details of it don’t mean anything specific.

In the dream I lived in an apartment building instead of my house, but still lived with my partner and one of our actual housemates, just like irl. I think we had a fourth housemate who isn’t our Actual IRL 4th housemate but it wasn’t important for the dream.

What WAS important for the dream is that my existing housemate J kept acting like a creep to me, and then would find excuses to get everyone else out of the house and rape me. Luckily for me this dream was fade-to-black before things Overtly Happened, which is USUALLY but not always the case when I dream things with sexual content. But as dreams do you get the info without the experience and it’s some emotional fuckery either way. But anyhow he would rape me and then after the cut-to-black would taunt me about how no one would believe me, and he threatened me against doing anything to stop him, and the dream kept going through scenarios where I would try to be alone with anyone but him but he would find a way to show up whenever I tried to find someone to help me. And every time someone’s back was turned he’d give me a Look, either evil grin like “haha you thought you could end this” or threatening like “don’t you dare” and idk what was stopping me from telling someone when I was around him from the Logic of the dream but I was just really scared, and when they left and we were alone again he’d cut-to-black rape me again. These scenes were presented back-to-back in the dream but I think they were meant to be spread out over some amount of time. He would let me be totally alone by myself but any time someone showed up or I got someone to come over he’d show up and I’d just have to pretend to be fine and then he’d punish me for trying to get help. He was also making sure I never had my phone when he wasn’t around so I couldn’t call or text anyone about it. At some point in the dream I managed to get my phone somehow and texted my partner “help me” and then J caught me with my phone and that’s around where I woke up.

There was no resolution to the dream and it’s upsetting even writing it down again. I haven’t been particularly extra stressed or depressed or anything lately and in fact have been having a pretty nice week, so I don’t get why I’m having such an awful dream rn. This housemate has never been creepy or threatening to me in ANY way irl and nor has anyone else been that he might have been a stand in for. I’m hoping the reason my brain cast him as the rapist in my dream is just because he’s really good at acting villainous (he’s the DM for one of our dnd games and plays some delightfully fucked up villains and is very good at it), because I don’t know anyone else who has ever given me Evil Grins before so perhaps my brain just needed anyone who I had seen giving an Evil Grin (as most of my dreams are pretty unexpressive when ot comes to people showing emotions)

Ugh and I feel gross and I wish I didn’t remember some of this dream so vividly because even if there was no visual sexual imagery, the whole thing was tinged with power and control and helplessness. I can see his face fucking grinning at me and feel how frozen-in-fear I was in the dream. I am DEEPLY hoping that either the dream will fade by the time I get dressed and go downstairs, or that my expert skills in being Casually At Arms Length will help me not have to Be Weird around J until I can forget all about it.

ETA: god fucking damnit I just remembered I have to go ask him opinions about Craigslist furniture today hope I can look him in the face fml 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

On the bright side I’m sleeping over at my moms tonight so hopefully by the time we get to dnd on Sunday I’ll be Normal again

Update: went grocery shopping with partner before he came home so i Became Normal during that time - can apparently continue this Being Normal despite still remembering the dream.

#tag #dream #dreams #folks who don’t see me IRL are ok to read this but if you do please leave a like just so I know who read it

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pellucid-constellations · 2 years

Note

hiya! i just want to say that your writing is literally amazing and oh my god i love you so much!!! also you are so fucking talented i wish i was like you 🥺🥺 i had some questions about writing that i have always really wanted to ask you (coming from an amateur writer). you totally don’t have to answer these by the way!!

- when did you start writing?

- how long did it take to get the following you have now?

- how long does it usually take to create a fic?

- how do you stay motivated with writing?

- what app do you use to write?

- if you wrote while in school, how did you juggle that (because im STRUGGLING!!)

- how do you create your ideas?

- when did your write your first smut?

- do you focus on a specific word count goal?

- how do you navigate the SPACING ON THIS APP BECAUSE I FIND IT SO ANNOYING!!

- do you have any advice for a small writer like me?

anywho, i hope this isn’t too invasive or too much to ask! you’re just one of my favourite writers and i really want to produce better writing like you 🥺 i love you so much and i hope you have the most amazing today and even better tomorrows!!! xoxo -🐞

Hi! I would be more than happy to answer your questions :)) I'll make a little list under the cut! ♡ If anyone has anything else to add, feel free!

I wrote my first ever fic last year in June. I'd never written anything before that! (Other than this tiny, 800 word spn thing back in 2012 that I never posted anywhere haha)

It took me a year to get where I am right now. My one-year anniversary for posting content on this blog is tomorrow, actually! :)

It depends on the fic. Oneshots usually take me a few hours, but series take me weeks! I don't usually keep oneshots as WIPs unless I'm really struggling with it/don't like it too much

Staying motivated can be really tough for me sometimes. I like to ask others for inspo or encouragement if I need it (so it's good to make friends!!), or make playlists to get me going!! If you don't feel motivated though, don't force it! Motivation comes and goes and that's normal!

I use google docs for writing fics. When I transfer onto Tumblr though, I paste the fic into my notes app first to keep formatting and then copy from there (thanks @wkemeup for that tip!!)

I did write in school, and I'll continue to when I start graduate school! I'm going to be honest, juggling the two isn't always the easiest. I tried to think of writing as a hobby that I got to do once I finished whatever I had in my planner, and that helped a bit! (but I def wrote at times I really shouldn't have though lol)

Ideas come to me at weird times!! While I'm driving a lot. Most of the time, my fics come from one specific scene I have in my head, and then I make a story around that. I make an outline for series, but for oneshots I sorta just start writing it and let it come to me lol. I find that's the best way for me to work :)

I've only written smut twice, and I don't get too in-depth (I use it more as a plot device). But my first was back in October for my baseball!bucky series.

For series, I try to have a word count goal for each chapter, but I'm trying not to place such an emphasis on that. During my last series, I was insistent on making my chapters each at least 5k, and it burned me OUT 😅 I've learned that you don't always need a ton of words :)

Hmm what do you mean by spacing?? If you mean like post formatting, I could help with that!

Advice!! I think having a good group of mutuals/friends makes the experience here on Tumblr so much better, especially for writers. It's always nice to have those people to bounce ideas off of or ask if something looks/sounds okay when you are starting off. Writing is lots more fun that way!! On another note, I know this is always so much easier in theory, but don't get discouraged! I'm always doubting myself and looking at notes as much as the next person, and that can just add unnecessary pressure. Write what makes you happy! Write when you feel like there's nothing else you'd want to do. It shouldn't feel like a chore or a competition :)

#asks #me writing too much again #🐞 anon

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weirdthoughtsandideas · 5 months

Text

If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 6 🕺🏼

🤌🏻 luz-camara-y-accion Follow

So my dad left before I was born. Apparently the second my mom told him she was pregnant with me, he just ran off.

Anyway to this day I am wondering… what if he’s still out there? What if he found another woman and had another child?

What I am saying is that, imagine if I suddenly bump into someone who almost looks like me, is also from Italy and then turns out to be my half-sibling or something.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Would be so wild lol

That reminds me, when I was smaller I randomly got the feeling I had an older brother or something. But I feel like it was just an ”only child wishing they had siblings” thing.

3 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

I always have such weird dreams. I need to write them down more.

🏍️ entre-dos-mundos Follow

Did you dream about me? 😉

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

You wish 😉

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Hey! This website has guidelines and you’re breaking them!

I’m giving you a warning before reporting you.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

And I’m giving you another warning before I block you, weirdo who reblogs my posts

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

You can’t! I have not found it, but I am sure there is a rule to not block people without reason. Blocking someone without reason is against the law!

12 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Hello. There is something weird with Tumblr. I am trying to click on some blogs and it says they are ”ghost blogs” or that they ”do not exist”. But they clearly do exist! Is something wrong with the system?

🙍🏻‍♂️ my-name-is-tomas Follow

I’m having the same issue 😢

2 notes

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Did anyone elses’ guardian give them ”the talk” by using flower metaphors? I’m trying to figure out how (not) normal my childhood was, and if anyone else can never see daisys the same way ever again.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Mine did not give me any. Rather she just expected me to know. I got to learn by reading and hearing girls talk in school.

Also when I got my period and told her, she sighed and scolded me for being so ”late” 🤨 (I was 13 how is that late)

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Haha. Uh.

So I got the talk when I was 12. Age I got my period? 11.

Did not know what it was. Thought I did something wrong. Refused to tell her because ”she would never understand and probably scold me for not being careful” or something.

She found out on her own, probably because she noticed a stain somewhere, and I was almost crying, begging her to not be mad and she was like ”😐 I knew this would happen, so I don’t see a reason to be mad. I just didn’t know it would happen so soon 😐”. She then gave me pads and told me to use them whenever this happened. She also gave me a small smile and stroked my hair slowly. Then she said ”I should have known you were an early bloomer… 🙂”

I had no idea what that meant until a YEAR later when when she finally gave me the talk. And then it was all in metaphors of flowers.

#what was up with her and flowers seriously

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Most delusional crushes you’ve had?

I’ll start: Someone on the internet who wrote nice posts and who I was so obsessed with meeting, to the point where I ran around trying to search for her whenever I heard she was nearby.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Omg same

📸 felicityfornow Follow

… you’re welcome?

15 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

People tell me so many dirty jokes that at this point I’m assuming that everything is a dirty joke when it not even is.

📸 felicityfornow Follow

I’m sorry, I feel like this is my fault…

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Was that a dirty joke?

#seriously I need to know #I can’t keep track of what is and what isn’t

40 notes

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Hey! I have a brand new fic I posted today!

Check it out! 💫

Posting every saturday🪐

2 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

It's so fun how easy I could find my friends here 😂 Half of them didn't even have to say they had tumblr, I found them anyway.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Wish I could say the same, but people refuse to tell me and I can't seem to figure it out.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Strawberry boy when he can't figure out who runs the tumblr blog even with clear signs of who it might be:

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Hey! Only Luna can call me that!

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

If I'm the only one allowed, why did you name your blog that?

9 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

So like. I dream about the future and stuff.

I dreamed that I was pregnant.

And like. That may happen at some point. In the future. But my dreams that predict the future are often stuff that happens basically the next day.

Not that it… would make sense for me to be pregnant right now…

Or, well…

…

I’m buying a test.

#vilu gets real #SO glad my dad is not on Tumblr he would freak if he saw this

1 note

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I usually joke about myself being the most distracted person in the world, but at times it feels like everyone looks down on me for it. I know that is not the case, but sometimes I feel like it.

Because I am like that, I easily forget stuff, and having to have people remind me, it sometimes feels like people don’t take me as seriously? Like they see me more as a child than someone their age. I mean, sometimes I feel like my friends act like I am their baby sister just tagging along and ”not knowing as much”. And I know they don’t actually see me like that. I know that’s just how I feel. But… ugh. I wish I could concentrate more on things, I wish I could not forget stuff so easily. I wish I could keep my mind focused on what people want me to focus on, and yet my brain does not let me.

I wish I didn’t feel like I somehow missed a manual on how you’re supposed to act in life. Why does everyone know how to behave in social situations except for me?

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Hey Luna? I know you tagged this with ”may delete later” and all that, but I need to assure you, yes, that is only in your head about us seeing you as ”someone younger who does not know as much”. We do not see you like that!

In all honestly… we’re all on the same page when it comes to ”maturity” I would say. Trust me when I say, I can be very distracted too. You just have not seen it yet, but trust me.

I guess I can sort of relate to ”not knowing how to act in social situations”, but I guess when there’s more of us, we act in our own way that we then percieve as ”normal” but then we meet someone else who never would act that way.

Anyway, we love you Luna, and you’re not alone with thoughts like this 💜

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Luna I need you to know, if you ever feel ”childish”, just know I am way more childish than you.

Seriously, I’ve been in situations where I go out of them feeling like I acted like a toddler and everyone else was so mature and cool in comparison.

You should just KNOW about all the antics I’ve had that you haven’t witnessed. If there is someone who does not know how to act in social situations it’s me.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Luna sometimes I’ve felt like I am younger than YOU. Seriously. I don’t know how anyone has ever seen me as mature 🤣

And I may joke that you’re distracted, but I never look down on you for it 🩵 Because you’re also at the same time very focused on what you want, when you get an idea there is no stopping you! And I admire that so much about you 💖

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Oh my gosh, guys… I really was about to go delete my vent post because I made it under such a spontaneous rush and then it felt weird to just write all of that.

But I feel really happy by your messages, and that I am not alone 😅 💕💕

I still wish I wasn’t distracted in the way I am, though.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

HELP, it’s so wild finding this post now like 4 years later?

I’m happy I never feel that insecure about why I can be so distracted and all over the place anymore. Because I did look into it and I did get an explanation 👏🏼 And honestly I really should have done that earlier because 😅😅 there was some CLEAR signs.

But it did feel validating hearing people had similar thoughts as me, especially about feeling like you’re more ”childish” than what society expects you to be.

60 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

People are asking why my ”childhood rival” is my childhood rival and if we are still rivals:

Basically I was born 2 days before her and, while I of course do not remember this, I have been told we met the first time in the hospital when I came for my 48 hour checkup. I really imagine newborn me seeing her screaming her lungs out after just being born and thinking ”what a drama queen”.

Idk, we just provoked each other by existing. There is a picture of us on a playdate when we were around 9 months old, and I chew on her arm. I guess the adults thought this was cute and that we played, but I am sure that I was attacking her.

From the memories I do have, we have had epic fights like on the christmas party where we caused a mayhem, we fell down from a tree together during a wrestle game, we poked and teased each other so much at school that an assigned teacher had to be a guard at recess so that we would not interact… and then there was all the things that happened when we were teens…

Is she still my rival? Yeah. But I guess it’s ”playful teasing” now more than actively hating her.

If I hated her, I’d ignore her. And we have never been able to ignore each other.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Shut up you nut 💜

#violetta #soy luna #if dcla characters had tumblr #if you wonder about the character’s ages #it’s kind of ambiguos #it takes place post show but also at times they are still in school and stif #stuff*#it’s some timeless void where they are still teenagers but also they might me adults #so it’s up to interpretation if Vilu even has a possibility to be pregnant or if she just had a weird dream #also the luna vent post was kinda me just sometimes being annoyed how sometimes the fandom don’t take her as seriously #Or treat her more childish than other characters even when tbh there are others just as ’mature’ as her #And yes I did the joke above that she doesn’t always understand dirty jokes #But not getting dirty jokes does not mean you’re always immature #and I’m also a bit mad at the show because sometimes it gets TOO MUCH with their ’haha luna is so distracted’ jokes #i feel like sometimes luna just believes herself that she is more distracted and absent minded than she actually is #bc everyone keeps telling her that #so I wanted to explore that kind of insecurity she might have

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mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 2 years

Text

My First Thoughts When I First Saw Husk’s New Design

I’m pretty sure some fans of both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss

had these same thoughts when they first saw Husk’s New Design...

“OH NO HE’S HOT!!!”

seeing a drawing of him on here, made me remember about it....

that my first thoughts that came into my mind when I first saw his new design,

was that “Oh No He’s Hot!”

pretty sure that most of the fans would have those thoughts pop into their heads after seeing him in his new design.

you can’t lie, your simp sins is crawling down your back....

is it weird to think that there is a possibility of simping...?

well might end up being only a few Husk-Simpers that will start to form...

also I want to say there was a good reason why I hadn’t signed on during the first of July, and just signed on July 24th....

I guess I just needed some time away, after that whole Channel46news.

I’m still not happy about that prank about Scott Cawthon, which once again I thought was real, and if I had clicked on that link and found out a bit more and realized much sooner that it was just a prank, maybe things would be a bit different before I did that drawing.

of course when I did find out, I had to edit that drawing that had to do with it by changing the meaning of it just a little....also today I decided to take out the tag that says “In Loving Memory”, also I did try to explain the mistake, but I don’t think some people are going to read it and a part of me thinks they ain’t gonna listen at all, even if I’m telling the truth about not knowing that it was a prank at first....

I just needed some days not signed on to tumblr, everyone would need some them time even when it feels like things aren’t going okay because when they try to explain some news.

anyway I got some drawings I want to post up, there is a crossover drawing I want to post that has to do with the Hazbin Hotel and Cuphead.

the new designs for Charlie, Alastor, Vaggie, Angel and Husk so far are awesome and it would be nice if they did end up on Netflix, don’t think we can get that other channel.

I haven’t checked if they got rid of that Movie that is called “Cuties”

in the mighty words of Mabel Pines “BURN IT!”

even if I haven’t really watched the movie, and only know a little about it by reading a little up on it and I know I saw clips of it, but not that many.

but it is enough for me to know that Coming-Of-Age type shows and movies, don’t cross those kinds of lines.

we ain’t talking about some cartoon characters who later learn they need to wait until they are mature enough to dress in mature clothes.

I know that the name Cuties, is just the English Dub Name for it.

in my Headcanon, if that Fake-Santa in Helluva Boss who had that shirt on that said #Cuties was a reference to that movie, I guess those kids being upset and one of them yelling out “Santa’s Evil” would make sense.

but maybe that shirt that Fake-Santa had on, has nothing to do with that movie.

even if in some cartoons where characters like Dot Warner, Babs Bunny and Penny Proud (before the reboots) try to dress in mature way, at least they didn’t cross certain lines.

in the episode where LPDZ are dressed in outfit that they are not mature enough to be wearing, they end up learned they weren’t the right age to wear those outfits, well all but Zoey....The Proud Family is on DVD, wish I could find SVTFOE DVD....

even if some cartoons have hidden mature jokes, like from Powerpuff Girls, that had to do with that Super Hero Boy’s Club that Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup tried to get into...

and some parents need to understand, that while some cartoons are for little kids, NOT every cartoon or video game or even a book series will be for little kids and will only be for a mature audience.

and parents should stop playing that stupid scapegoat card, it isn’t the man who was on tv’s own fault I said the son of a b-word...

well maybe only partly, but the full fault is on my family, who let a toddler who is like a sponge, hear and repeat that word.

and don’t get me started on Cool World, I mean I love that movie and I have the DVD of it, but at the place where we use to live at where this was this old place that rented out videos, well one of the movies was Cool World.

and well I wasn’t mature enough when I first watched it.

even if my family did make sure I didn’t watch certain mature stuff when I was little, they still made some hiccups...

I was a parrot when I was a baby, most babies are right...?

plus it is possible not to fully realize about the early exposure until later in your life and the fact that parents and others like aunts and uncles as well as grandparents, might try to play the scapegoat card and try to place the full blame on the mature content (that was never meant for little kids) instead of taking the blame for their own mistakes and not trying to be better and making sure to keep those who are not the appropriate age for it, and will only let them once they are the right age for it.

Angel might be a lot of things, but at least some fans know that he would probably be a better parent and make sure to cover his own kids ears and eyes from hearing or seeing some mature stuff they aren’t ready for.

even Moxxie would be the Best Dad Ever, I mean if he and Millie ever had kids in the canon and not just in the fanon, but it might not be likely they will have children in the canon....

I think the Imps and other Demons in the Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss Universe, have some form of Morals and sense to protect their children and adoptive children (Sinners/Former Humans would have to adopt children because of the reasons that are mention in the canon.)

from mature content that they are too young to see or hear.

it might be possible that Martha and Ralph’s children would be with them in Hell, possibly in the Pride Ring.

in theory if they let the Sinners go to the Other Rings, they wouldn’t have that overpopulation problem in the Pride Ring, I mean it is just in that ring right...?

anyway just have to wait a few more days until the new episode of Helluva Boss, so gonna make sure to keep a eye out for it.

also if there are certain Angels that cause conflict, would it be a weird thought that I think they should get the paddle to them...?

even if spanking isn’t okay, but at times it can be when it’s truly necessary.

and parents know to hold back and stop, and know not to take it too far...

those Grandpas and Grunkles that are the Dads of the Nephilim,

they should of got a spanking, and placed in a corner.

I think that in theory only half of those Grandpas and Grunkles didn’t show any lust for their human wives and did have some form of feelings of being in love and didn’t try to force them to be their wives.

the others not so much, and those are the ones who need a spanking and a timeout.

not sure if the Nephilim would be in Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss,

probably not....plus if Alastor was secretly a Half-Angel and Half-Human before he went to Hell, it be like with Cosmo from Fairly Odd Parents.

after Alastor was born and showed to be very dangerous, they made that new rule that had to do with Sinners and Saints (that are both former humans turned demons and angels) are not to reproduce in the afterlife.

maybe that would work in a Fanon Timeline and AU.

well anyway, one can dream that Hazbin Hotel ends up on Netflix.

and hoping that that Cuties Movie or is it just Cutie...?

well can only hope that they take that movie off of Netflix.

anyway I do like the new designs for the characters in Hazbin Hotel,

and at first I wanted to just have this be about Husk and talking a little about the whole prank incident and the reasons why I didn’t sign back on right away this July and only just signed on July 24, 2022 which is the day I posted this up...

I just needed some time away after what happen, and I can only hope some actually do listen and understand the mistake and that I didn’t know it was a prank at first....

so see ya later and stay safe everyone...

#husk hazbin hotel #OH NO HE'S HOT #talking about feelings #my thoughts #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #not for kids #july 2022

0 notes

familyfriendlyweed · 3 years

Text

makeup sessions (karl jacobs x fem reader)

a/n : hi! this is my first tumblr post. i have written stuff on wattpad in the past, but it’s still quite new to me, so please be nice :]] i accept positive critism and advice, as that most definitely will help me grow as a writer!

Y/n let out something between a squeal and a scream at the same time when she saw Karl's tweet. her face was beat red and her lips couldn't help but curl into the stupidest grin ever.

the tweet read :

hey @) y/nhasursocks wanna do my makeup at my stream today :]]

it was the simplest tweet, yet it meant so much to the girl. Karl and Y/n were always really good friends, they often streamed minecraft together, but never in a million years did he yet ask her to be in his stream in real life.

Y/n picked up the phone with trembling hands, already seeing a bunch of likes, comments and retweets to Karl's tweet. before answering, she got curious to know what the people say. cautiously opening the comments section, the girl scanned it through with her eyes. a bunch of "awwwwws" and hearts could be seen, which worsened her already red cheeks.

With her heart thumping hard against her ribs, she started writing her reply :

sounds great! <3

for a moment Y/n hesitated to press the "reply" button with the "<3" emoticon in the comment, but then she figured she and Karl sent lovey dovey emojis/emoticons in the past to each other anyways, so, she pressed the "reply" button at last.

in an instant, her reply started gaining more and more likes, comments and retweets. Y/n was never really popular, having her clout was only because of Karl being her friend, so seeing this much attention was weird to her. but she didn't care about that right now. all that Y/n cared about at the moment was the fact that Karl appreciated her enough to actually invite her over.

a little bit later in the day, Y/n received a private message from Karl, which said :

hey Y/n! I'm really glad you're up to stream together <3 i planned on starting the stream at 4 pm, but you can change the time if you're busy :] here is my address (don't tell anyone! :D) - (random address lol)

Y/n answered :

thanks for inviting me bestie!! 4 pm is cool, I'll be there! <33

she set the phone down, unable to remove the blissful smile from her face. she has never felt this way before - it was really weird, but the constant butterflies in her tummy reminded her that it's a good feeling. taking a few deep breaths, Y/n reminded to herself that all she has to do is to go to Karl's house and have a good time AS FRIENDS - no romantic stuff is needed.

~~~~~time skip~~~~~

Y/n got off from the bus at 15:50, but she still had about 5 minutes to reach Karl's house. in what felt like forever, the girl felt a sting of what was unmistakably fear and guilt - what if she was late? and what if Karl would be annoyed with her for that?

slowly she broke into a panicky run. passing careless citizens, who all looked at her fear-stricken face curiously, she finally made it to the front door of Karl's home. Y/n pulled out her phone and found the code that she was supposed to enter next the main door. she quickly dialed it, a beep beep beep was heard and she entered.

finally making it to Karl's apartment, Y/n stopped to smooth her hair and straighten her clothes so she doesn't look too shabby. her body seemed to be moving on its own - her finger pressed the doorbell automatically.

Karl opened the door almost in an instant - he wore a warm smile and before Y/n could stutter a "hello", he pulled the girl into a big welcoming hug.

"hey Y/n! it's so cool you made it!" Karl exclaimed, still holding her close.

Y/n's head was spinning, she needed more time to process what was happening. but nevertheless, she finally lifted her own arms and hugged the guy. burying her face into his sweater, she inhaled Karl's scent deeply - he smelled something like honey and warm days.

"hello, Karl." she mumbled with a grin on her face.

"come on, do you want to eat something before the stream?" Karl asked, letting go of the girl and taking her hand into his instead, leading Y/n into the house.

"oh no, I'm full. let's get straight to business." she answered, the blissful smile and content blush never leaving her face.

"alrighty! you already know, but we'll have an eventful makeup session, and then I thought maybe play some minecraft so the stream isn't too short?" the guy asked, opening his bedroom door.

"sounds great!"

Karl smiled and went to his computer :

"you ready? I'll start the stream now."

the girl quickly fixed her hair again and gave him thumbs up :

"ready."

Karl started the stream with facecam on and as soon as the chat saw Y/n, it went absolutely wild.

"guys, give her a rest, poor girl just came!" he laughed, drawing her a chair. Y/n thanked quietly and sat, waving to the chat timidly. in the corner of her eye, she saw comments like "she's so adorable" and "look at Karl being a gentleman" in the chat and her cheeks grew more red, but this time from satisfaction.

"well, as you guys know, Y/n agreed to be in my stream today, and since some of you don't really know her, she's a really good friend of mine who also streams and does youtube videos - so go support her!"

from that moment Y/n relaxed more and more with each minute. it was fifteen minutes into the stream when she already felt as if at home.

"Karl, you have a hell lot of lipsticks, where did that come from?"

"uhhhh, I only bought them for the stream today!"

"oh really? why are they all used, then?" Y/n asked giggling and showing them to the stream.

"hey- don't expose me like that!"

"chat, clip it, CLIP IT!"

all was going really well, Y/n was having a really good time with Karl AS FRIENDS. it was really nice. but all hell broke loose when the time to put eyeliner came.

"alright, I have no idea why, but you have four eyeliners."

"they're my sister's."

"haha, yeah, yeah, alright. Which one do you want big man?"

"hmmm, the one in your left hand!"

Y/n set the other eyeliners on the table, quickly glancing at the chat. her cheeks grew very very red…

"Y/N DO THE MEME SIT ON HIS LAP" "SIT ON HIS LAP" "THE MEME, DO THE MEME!!!"

a/n: if anyone is confused, this is an example of the meme i’m talking about :

the girl tried to act as if she hadn't seen the comments, but Karl was already by her side, reading them with her.

"meme… what meme?" he wondered out loud. Y/n got the impression that he was genuinely confused.

'chat, shut the fuck up, please shut the fuck up.' thought Y/n, but of course chat was just being chat.

"SHE SHOULD SIT ON UR LAP" "THERE'S A MEME WHERE A GIRL DOES A GUY'S EYELINER WHILE SITTING ON HIS LAP" "WE'RE NOT FORCING BUT YOU GUYS WOULD LOOK SO CUTE"

Y/n hid her face in her hands, unable to control her blushing. Karl just chuckled sweetly :

"chat, calm down, she's going to die from blushing."

he put on the "please stand by" screen and scooted over Y/n :

"hey, it's fine. we won't do it if you don't want to," Karl then leaned closer and whispered, "I'd be pretty glad if you agreed, though."

Y/n lowered her hands, showing off the big red hue on her cheeks. for a split second Karl's eyes widened - she looked really adorable.

"I'd also be glad." the girl said, almost not believing her own words.

Karl's adorable smile came back and he leaned back:

"well then, come here."

Y/n stood up shyly and straddled his legs, grabbing the eyeliner in the process.

"do you want me to turn on the facecam?" Karl asked quietly.

the girl nodded :

"I don't mind."

he turned it on and put his hands onto Y/n's hips. even without looking at it, Y/n knew the chat was blowing up at the moment.

"you guys better subscribe, because we're providing very good fanservice." said Karl jokingly and Y/n laughed. turning to him, she opened the eyeliner and put it next to his eye, only to find him staring at her in an awe. the girl blushed as a strong urge to kiss him kicked in. it looked as if Karl wanted the same thing.

at the precise same time, they both leaned in and pressed their lips together, Y/n putting her hands onto Karl's cheeks to hide the view from the chat. the kiss was very short and with no tongue included - but it was the most sweet kiss Y/n has ever shared with someone. she pulled away, an identical grin to Karl's on her face and hugged him very tight - they almost fell off the chair.

laughing, she continued to do Karl's makeup as if nothing happened and everyone watching the stream wasn't fainting and clipping the kiss. this will be talked about for a long time, but as before, Y/n didn't care about that, and nor did Karl.

a/n : anddddd cut! it’s quite wonky, but i believe it’s pretty swell for my first mcyt fanfic :]] let me know what you think of it and if you have any tips or advice on how to make my future stories more enjoyable! thanks for reading and i hope to see you around <3

#mcyt #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #karl jacobs #karl jacobs x reader #karl jacobs imagines #mcyt imagines #dream smp #dream smp imagines #dream smp x reader

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izukus-sugar-baby · 3 years

Text

Checked out!

WARNINGS: fluff-ish, eventually will be smut, mentions of getting sick twice

word count: 2k

Heres my first writing for tumblr! Hope you all like it!

Part Two, Part Three.

"Hey Miss!!" You peered down at the smaller voice, simultaneously feeling a book slip from your hand and onto the ground. The bookshelf was at least 5 rows high, and you had been standing as far as you needed to reach the top. You were dusting off and replacing the books on the shelf, which... hadn’t been so pleasant with children running around before their daily read. Regardless, you had a job to do. It wasn't gonna stop for a ton of kids. You had been rearranging the books in alphabetical order before the kid startled you. Thank god it didn’t fall on their head.

"Are you gonna read to us today? Or is Miss Maggie?" The kid didn't look over six years old, blue eyes and long brown hair with freckles littering her face in a wonderful way. She wore a small dress full of sunflowers with bright pink shoes on her feet. She had been here before... Although, her name wasn’t ringing a bell.

"I wanted to read one of those pigeon stories you read us last time!" You let out a sigh of relief that the book didn't smack the kid on top of her head prior to climbing down to the ground and leaning down be eye-level with her.

"Pigeon stories?" You've read dozens of books about dozens of creatures and characters. What on earth would relate to a.. pigeon? Leaning down a bit farther to snatch up the book you had dropped, she pushed another book into your arms. The title read The Pigeon Needs A Bath!

"This book is pretty thin, You sure you want me to read just this one book, sweetheart?" You stood up straight, handing the girl the book back before cocking your hip to the side and placing your hand onto it.

"Me and Emmie can go find some more!" She hurried off to find her.. friend? Knowing it had been a child, it could be a stuffed animal! But she sure did leave too quickly to ask any questions about it. You sighed, climbing back up to finish your organizing. Thank goodness I’m already close to being done. You thought to yourself, dusting top to bottom and moving onto the 4th row. Their reading wasn't for another.. what? 20 minutes? You had time to knock out another shelf. Time flew by as you finished the 4th row. It was already time to read.

"I have to stop by Goodwill and get some more books. I also gotta stop at the post office and some.. other errands? You got this reading?" The owner of the store, Maggie, looked over to make sure she had gotten your attention before naming off a few things that needed done in the shop before you closed up shop.

"Yeah! What time will you be back?" You climbed down the last step of the ladder, patting off the dust from the bookcase that had gotten on your apron. It was some cutesy hello kitty apron you wore so the dust wouldn't ruin your clothing but it really just made it look like it was some mini cafe. None the less, you wore it.

"I'll be back in time for that uh, Pro hero guy. I don't know- my wife wrote him in. Ask and she'll tell you!" You weren't too involved with all that hero bullshit, the whole who can save more lives?! You get the most money AND an award. The system in itself was ass and it wouldn't make a difference in your everyday life for one of those snobby people to stop by. You walked around the shelves, watching Maggie leave as you sat down on a small rounded couch. A small chime rang through the shop as it called the children over for their reading, a few already sitting and ready to hear you.

It wasn't a big library, it seemed like a corner store had gotten torn down and then completely renovated into a library for children. The second floor had been where the owner and her wife stayed. It was a cozy little place where about 8-12 kiddos would visit for a read. There were bookshelves in the walls for more book space and 5 separate shelves more towards the middle of the place. They held less books than the ones on the wall. Only two of the five reached over 3ft. Parents would come in just to rent a few books. But more often than not, the owner would go out hunting for new books for everyone to enjoy. Along with cute little toys and those foam floor mats to sit on. All of the children in the shop had sat right in front of you, including the girl from earlier who held 4 books in her hands. A few other kids held thin picture books in their hands as well, but only having 15 minutes to read to them, it might be hard to get around to all of them.

“Alright, Who's first?" You asked, smiling down at them. Every single child raised their hand, some even raising both so your attention was on them. Of course this wasn't going to be easy. You thought to yourself as you put a hand over your eyes, pointing to some random kid. He held a small book, standing up slowly and handing it to you.

"My mom reads me this sometimes.." Poor boy was only about 5, and seemed pretty shy. You gave him a reassuring smile before he went back to his seat. You began to read and in no time at all you finished reading the few books children selected. Thank god it was a Friday, Most children would be picked up right after the reading for afternoon preschool etc. But it seemed like no one wanted to leave. Was it that hero Maggie had mentioned? You sighed, hopping up and heading to the check out desk where you saw a few children wanting to check out their books you previously read to them. You leaned down over the desk to reach for the book, scanning it and doing so for each person. The store bell jingled, as if the creak of the door didn't give away someone walking in.

"Welcome to 'Children's Magical Bookshop,' You paid the person no mind as you spoke, handing the last child their book and letting your gaze fall upon the... very tall man in front of you. Noise filled the small shop, children running up to him screaming-

"Deku!" As loud as their little lungs could. He gave a flashy smile, leaning down to hug the children that ran straight for his legs. He laughed and lifted a few of them in his.. very strong arms. Was it hot in the bookshop? Was the AC fucked up? You force your eyes from the tall man.. Was he looking at you too? Your mind screamed at you to introduce yourself, Quickly walking towards a shelf to do something. Anything bust stand there and gawk at him.

"Are you Maggie?" There were hopping children behind him, playing with his gloves and such as you turned to him.

"No- I'm y/n. Are you that.. pro? She had been talking about.?" You huffed through your nose, turning to him. He extended a hand, nodding with a cheesy grin on his face as soon as you had taken his hand into yours. It wasn’t like you never saw him on the news, but you sure did skip the channel as soon as it was some bullshit hero chart over who had been number one. He was so much hotter in person..

"Yes! I'm sorry I'm a bit early, I finished patrol sooner than I thought! I hope I'm not interrupting anything? The woman on the phone said before six, I told her I was sure I could make it around five!" His eyes traveled to your lips for a moment, listening to you speak back to him.

“You’re fine, There’s plenty of time for you to hang out and sign all of their t-shirts and such. Make yourself at home big man. You can sit in the reading area,” The kids dragged him to where you were just moments ago.. But he couldn't get you to leave his mind. You were beautiful. He needed to make you his.

The poor hero stayed until about six o’clock to talk to you, since all of the kids finally left to go do their summer homework or whatever they had to do. Deku had been leaning over the counter for almost an extra hour to make some conversation with you, he just couldn’t help himself. You cant blame him either! You had this smile that he couldn’t resist. And quite frankly, he wasn’t used to this feeling of butterflies in his stomach. He fought some shit villain every day! What's a few butterflies? Especially as pretty as you. Why wouldn't he want to stick around?

“I really didn’t think it would be so chill this week! It feels like I've done nothing but catch up on papers!” Izuku scratched his neck with his index finger, shaking his head lightly. “I guess I really am doing a good job!- Of course other pros are doing their jobs as well!” He let out a relieved chuckle, looking at you with a big, sincere, smile on his face. “How has work here been? It must be so nice working with so many children!”

You feel your eyes involuntarily roll, shaking your head and leaning against the wall behind you. “It’s nice until some kid gets sick on themselves and their mother isn’t here to help. We have extra clothing in the back because it’s happened more than once.” You groaned as your eyes trailed to the door leading to lost n found, clothes, and other things. You had an unamused look on your face talking about it. He noticed and let his eyes follow yours until feeling your eyes rest upon him once more. Maybe texting would let you come around to him a bit more? Were you bored?

“Yikes- I’ve seen adults get sick after villains show up. But I probably should head back to my agency.” He looked out of the store window before right back to those beautiful e/c eyes of yours. “Do you have a number I can text? I would love to talk to you more y/n..!” He was already prepared for rejection. It was kinda weird to be hitting on you after dealing with kids wasn’t it? Maybe he should take it back. Was he coming off as some sleazy ass hero?

Your eyes widened in the slightest- Enough for him to notice. “Sure, Let me see your phone,” You stepped closer to the counter, seeing him fumble on the pouch of his belt before unlocking and giving you his phone. You went to his contacts, making yourself one of them and handing it right back to him. He had an even bigger, cheesier, grin on his face after he took it back.

“Thank you, y/n!” He bowed his head before quickly leaving out to his agency. Finally, you could go home as well. Not that he was a problem, but that man sure could talk. It was endearing. Maybe I can put enough of those stutters in mind tonight. You joked to yourself, grabbing your keys and walking out to lock up the small bookshop. There was no doubt that you were attracted to him. Every woman in America and Japan was attracted to him in some way.

You let out a small sigh, driving home and turning your radio up until hearing your phone ding. You glanced over at the screen to see an unknown number texting. Assuming it was Deku, you waited until you were home to answer him. By the time you had texted him back, he was quick to reply. You two made plans to hang out soon and have dinner together. You talked for hours until one of you had fallen asleep. He was ecstatic. You really enjoyed his company.

taglist: @tenyaiidasslut @hi-rubi @devilsbooksworld @flamingpastapotatoes @arleneeene @blacklotussai @akam4recs @prinvilmain

a/n: I fucking hate tumblr KWJCHDH ive had to re-write this more than once because they changed the layout if the save and post. Its not my best work and was mostly edited on here instead of Google docs. Learn to edit the first version first i guess 💀 The second part will be much better!

Please Reblog!!!!

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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 3 years

Text

My dear lgbt+ kids,

This is a personal example for my last post (”You are allowed not to make sense”):

I am attracted to people regardless of gender - but for a long time, I felt much more comfortable with and confident in my attraction to women.

I had crushes on both boys and girls when I was younger - but all the “serious” ones were on girls. The boys I crushed on were, for the most part, celebrities or fictional people. And as an adult, all my long-term relationships have been with women. In fact, it was difficult to actually imagine ever being in a relationship with a man. So, am I bisexual with a strong preference for women or bisexual but not open to dating men... or am I actually not bisexual at all? Maybe my attraction to men is too weak to count? Most people see me as a lesbian, anyway, due to my dating history, so maybe I should just stick to that word? I struggled with those questions quite a lot.

But ever since I came to terms with my gender identity and came out as a trans man, there has been a noticeable shift. I started to notice how strongly I am attracted to men. It became so much easier to envision a relationship with a man - I realized the difficult part wasn’t “me dating a man”, it was “me as a woman dating a man”. I couldn’t imagine that because, well, it simply wasn’t true. I wouldn’t be a woman dating a man, I would be a man dating a man... and that’s actually a pretty nice thing to imagine!

Today, I can say I am bi and don’t have a preference at all - I am not looking for a relationship but if I was, I would be equally open to dating a man or a woman.

Some of you may read this and think “Okay, yeah, that makes sense. You have always been a bi man but you needed to figure out the “man” part before you could fully embrace all parts of your bisexuality”. But for most people I know offline, it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. To them, it sounds like “A lesbian woman suddenly decided she’d prefer to be a gay man”... and when you put it like that, it really sounds confusing and messy and strange, doesn’t it? Sometimes it gets to me and I find myself agreeing: It is weird. So weird!

So, do I need to explain everything I just told you everytime I talk about my bisexuality, just so I don’t confuse people? Do I owe other people an explanation? Do I owe myself an explanation?

I decided that my answer to all of that is No. So what if it doesn’t make sense? I don’t need to make sense. I am a bi man now - whatever I was in the past or whatever people saw in me in the past, that doesn’t matter anymore. It’s in the past. I am not a novel that needs to follow a logical plot, my life isn’t a puzzle that needs to create one perfect picture. I am a human being. I am allowed to not make any sense.

And so are you.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

#lgbt #lgbt+

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redactedexists · 2 years

Text

Plug & Play

Summary: A box full of miscellaneous stuff from the 90s and early 2000s send Babe on a short trip down memory lane.

Pairing(s): Asher/Babe (they/them)

Warnings: Light language, just fluff

A/N: First fanfic on the ol’ Redactedverse-specific Tumblr blog. I’m currently waiting for my AO3 invitation so I can set up my account but I figured I might as well just post this little thing here. It’s been a while since I’ve written casually so apologies if it’s a little weird! Enjoy!

-----------------------

“Whatcha doin’?” Their head whipped around, eyes wide like a toddler caught in the cookie jar. In their hand, a cluster of cables, clearly visible even as they tried to hide them behind their leg. Asher blinked and gave them a look, a smile creeping onto his face. He laughed and walked over to where they knelt in front of the TV. “What’s the look for, babe?” He asked, placing a hand on the top of their head. They grinned and rolled their eyes, swatting at him. “I- okay, so I went over to my storage unit today and was going through a bunch of stuff, you know. Trying to minimize or whatever. And found this old box, just filled with old toys and shit. I found, like, a thousand old Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh cards and one of those, like, holographic Harry Potter chocolate frog cards? Remember those? Anyway, I also found this.” They handed him the thing attached to the wires; a 2003 plug & play Namco arcade joystick. “Oh, hell yeah! I haven’t seen one of these in years.” Asher took the controller from them and examined it. “I mean, I never had one but they had one at the dentist I went to as a kid. You know, plugged into a thick-ass 90s TV in the waiting room?” The box was deep purple and yellow, the sides covered in fading stickers featuring 80s era arcade games. The red bulb of the joystick still shone in the light but the buttons had gone matte from use and time. “Yeah, well. You’re looking at the thing that sparked my love of video games.” They took it back, grinning with all the warmth of nostalgic fondness. “It was my cousin’s technically but I kept stealing it. I mean, every day after school, I’d find some way to sneak into his room and get it so I could play Pac-Man. He didn’t really care. He mostly just hated me going into his room. He had a bunch of consoles already anyway; Dreamcast, GameCube, Playstation.” “Those… sure are consoles.” Ash fought back a laugh, trying to school his face into a neutral expression. “Oh, whatever, Asher. So he didn’t have an Xbox. It was… 2003? The Xbox wasn’t even out- wait… was it out?” They pulled out their phone. “It was totally out! I got one for Christmas that year! 2001?” Asher pulled out his phone too. “November 2001, you got it on the nose! Nice, dude!- wait, you got one for Christmas? Dude, Black Friday must have been hell that year! Good on your folks though; out here makin’ dreams come true.” “Yeah, I was so stoked.” “I bet!” “…” “… don’t-“ “I was even more stoked when I realized it was the superior console.” “Stupid- what even was the point of console wars! God, kids will fight about anything!” “Says the kid with a Dreamcast.” They were both laughing now. “No, but it’s even worse because I didn’t even have the Dreamcast!” They wheezed, holding up the controller. “All I had was this joystick.” “Aw, baaabe! Hey, you may have lost the console war but you’ve won over my heart.” He took their hand and kissed the back of it, giggling into the skin. “Gee, thanks.” They chuckled sarcastically but their tone lacked any venom. “So… do you wanna play with me?” They smiled and held up the joystick, wiggling it. Ash blinked at it for a second, processing. “Like, take turns? Climb the leaderboard?” He readjusted on the floor, leaning back on his arms. “Uh, well…” They sniffed, on the verge of laughter again. “No? There isn’t a leaderboard system on this one. There is in the other versions but not this one. So my friends and I would just, uh, write down our scores and compare when it was time to go home.” Ash nodded slowly. The longer they maintained eye-contact, the harder it was to keep a straight face. “I knooooow.” They whined, smiling. “Whatever, Asher. I’ll fail at Dig Dug by myself then.” They turned to continue messing with the cables around the back of the TV. “Oh, you got Dig Dug on there? Never mind, then! I take it all back! I’m down!” He teased. Asher moved again, wrapping his arms around their shoulders and pecking them on the cheek. They snorted, turning to kiss his cheek in return, still half-focused on the wires. There was a moment of comfortable silence. “…You know I’m joking about the console war thing, right?” “Yeah, Ash, I know.” They smiled fondly. “Okay, good.”

#redactedasmr #redacted asmr #redacted asmr fanfic #redacted babe #redacted asher #2003 namco plug & play arcade joystick #james' writing exists

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formulinos · 3 years

Text

Hello everybody, it’s Ana here, briefly talking seriously with you. First of all, I would really like to take some time to appreciate all the nice people around here who have had some brilliant sportsmanship while participating on the tournament. When I first did the post, considering how tiny my blog is, I didn’t expect that it would grow the way it did, I just wanted to do something fun around here given that’s summer break and I have been taking my time writing the Hyperfixation Corners, the key focus of why I’m here. To see amazing people reblogging these, taking their stands and creating funny stickers, graphics and posts to engage with the tournament is wonderful and I really can’t say thank you enough. A special thanks to the folks at the GC (you know who you are) who have also been very supportive from day one.

That being said, unfortunately things took a weird turn today after I got some further weird anons making some claims I know aren’t true and would be only inflammatory if I published them. I want to be clear that this isn’t serious at all: I don’t make money off this and the drivers will not add it to their Wikipedia accounts. This is just a fun little game and if you think it’s well organised, I did it so on purpose because I believe that if you establish your foundations well, everything after is fun and within the rules of the game. I didn’t want to limit the numbers of answers and ask for e-mails/usernames because I wanted people to feel free to vote as they please and however many times as they pleased without feeling embarrassed. I did not expect it to grow as it did so fair play, but even as it grew from day to day I knew what to expect from the fan favourites and the surprises were pleasant (even more with your interactions). By matchday two I knew it was growing a bit more and that people would share the poll around so their friends voted to. Again, I didn’t mind, think of it as the Driver of the Day polls, it’s fun to win, it’s messy, and it’s not serious.

The choice I did to DSQ Charles really was because it was too obvious to the point that it wasn’t sportsmen—like anymore. It was really fast and not keeping up with the trend I was observing (maybe I should have kept a screen record of the poll or something so I could prove it, but I didn’t think it would be necessary). If we had reached today with the same number of votes he had but it had been a slow steep, I’d know it was weird but I wouldn’t have minded and it would have been way more plausible to think it was just the Charles armada doing what it usually does. And that’s fair, it’s a tournament after all. Now, it’s just one person but one person is already too much for a silly game on Tumblr and it’s starting to get malicious, and that’s not what I’m here for.

I’m not sure I will turn off anon yet and I don’t intend to stop the responses, but I have a very low threshold to tolerate these things and I will just drop everything if it keeps happening. I don’t need this and you don’t need this either. It’s been a very tense championship and I know we all needed to put our hair down a bit so I’m glad it has fulfilled its goal. My end goal is to be happy though and as Tyler the Creator said, “just close your eyes hahahaha”.

Sorry for any inconveniences and I hope we return on Monday as planned. Thanks again everybody!

#f1 #hottest f1 drivers tournament

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strayinvelvet · 3 years

Text

[what a fool in love]

Jisung thinks you couldn’t get any cuter when you have your cheeks all pink because of your tiny crush on him

pairing: han jisung x reader

genre: fluff, high school au, jisung is babo but cute

wc: 1.5k (this was supposed to be around 500 only but got carried away)

warning: swear words, improper capitalization because i wrote this in tumblr drafts but just hit up my ask if this annoys you!

a/n: finally posting something after bouncing so many times! hopefully i can post consistently :(

Jisung thinks you couldn’t get any cuter when you have your cheeks flushed, especially when it’s because of him.

he has been observing you for months now and he notices. he notices how you would always stutter when you talk to him. you never do that when you talk to hyunjin or seungmin. he notices how your cheeks would turn a bright shade of pink when he calls you first. sometimes it would even reach your nose.

it’s not like he has been watching you. there was just this one time when he felt like eyes are on him. the bugging feeling was present for most of the day 'til he looked around and there you were, staring right at him. now jisung isn’t really one to boast, but he knows he’s one of the “handsome princes” of the school. he is not oblivious to the number of girls and boys that have a puppy to huge crush on him, thanks to the letters and free lunches he receives every once in a while.

so from then on, he knows. you’ve been showing signs of your secret crush towards him and he finds it absolutely adorable. the silent yet friendly fella of the class who never finds a struggle in having a conversation with someone despite being a stranger to her, except with him. he wouldn’t say he doesn’t enjoy watching it.

During lunch last time, when your friends abandoned you to go do their unfinished homework, you asked him, with the most shy and the most adorable look, if you can sit with him in his table. of course, the gentleman that he is, he let you sit. how could he let you possibly spend the whole lunch time looking for a seat? he swear he was only doing you a favor. well, he wouldn’t deny finding you stealing a few short glances at him amusing.

there was also this time when your biology teacher assigned the two of you to be “homework buddies.” it must have taken you a lot of courage to start the conversation. he would’ve pinched your cheeks that time if it weren’t for his self control: hey han jisung, she still hasn’t confessed to you. don’t make her uncomfortable. ah! and what was that you asked him? if he understand how the heart works? and then you went to full on nerd mode in explaining to him how it pumps blood and all the science-y stuff. how its beats depend on different factors, including external ones such as thoughts and feelings towards others. he’s pretty sure you were trying to convey something to him. dropping hints, i see. ahh, if only he could physically coo at you.

now the reason why he enjoys your actions the most is your subtleness. he can tell that you have no plans to tell him how you feel, save for your natural reaction when you see him, unlike the others who basically throw themselves at him. he can see your efforts to not make the two of you uncomfortable. and all it told him was how considerate you are. you’ve probably noticed how the confessions annoy him sometimes, especially when it was given to him at a bad timing. like the person just wanted to let it out with no regards if he’s in the mood to hear it or not. but you, you have always checked on him silently before doing something. not until today.

your classmates have gone to their respective homes. he just finished practicing with the dance club and was just on his way to the school gates when you called his name hastily. you stopped speed-walking in front of him and took a deep breath as if you just ran out of air. you were holding a folded piece of paper in your hand- wait. piece of paper? is that a letter? a love letter?! oh no...

“hey jisung. i have something to say. actually it’s-”

“no! wait!” he hastily said to stop you.

startled, you looked at him with a puzzled look, “hm..?”

no, you weren’t supposed to confess today. where did you get the sudden courage? is it from hyunjin? that man always encourage people to confess just to piss him off. tsk, that dick.

he looked at you with hesitation. are you nervous? he really didn’t want to leave you heart broken, tho.

he sighed, “how do i say this...” he gulped an imaginary lump in his throat before continuing, “ yn, you’re cute, i admit. but you see i’m not ready for a relationship yet. you’ve seen me turn down other confessions, i think, but i don’t want to do that to you because, well, you’re simply kind and... pure?” shit how do i really say this?

while he’s thinking of nice synonyms he can say instead as a replacement for what he’s about to say, you on the other hand, were left dumbfounded.

what is this guy on...?

when he finally seemed to quiet down, you didn’t even try to comprehend what he said (there’s no need to try honestly it’s impossible) before finally saying what you really needed to say.

“jisung...” you paused for a while blinking at him, “i- i was gonna say ms. kim wants you in her office tomorrow during self-study hour. it’s about your biology grades,” you gave him the paper you were holding - his biology test marked with a big red, “you failed your preliminary quiz again and she’s afraid you’re going to fail the final quiz. she wanted me to say it because we’ve been partners for this subject.”

and then the most awkward silence ensued. not until he spoke with the most “huh?” tone.

“what?”

“Ms. Kim-”

“no wait i heard that. just... what?”

at this point you didn’t know what to say. your eyes travel from one point to another except to his eyes just because he’s clearly unfathomable right now.

“you weren’t-” he stopped to swallow the lump in his throat that now actually exists, “you weren’t going to confess?” he asked (with a bit of a hope that you actually were on the way to do so just to save him from humiliation).

however, he’s hopeless from his mess.

with a furrowed brows you finally answered, “no...? where’d you get that?”

well shit.

“i mean- don’t you like... have a crush on me?”

“where is this coming from?” you kind of dragged the where part because part of you hoped to understand where he’s coming from.

“you were all blushy with me!!” he is currently on his mission to prove that you liked him.

“when?!”

“last week! it even reached your nose and you were so cu-”

“han jisung! it’s winter! i had colds last week!”

“what about that time in the cafeteria when you were all shy?! and that time when you were explaining to me, OUT OF THE BLUE, about how liking someone makes your heart beat and stuff? or when i would catch your eyes on me?!”

“when were those even?! and you totally took that biology thing out of context!” you crossed your arms in front of your chest. you are so into this argument now.

the both of you went through this banter with your voices going higher the further the banter gets for as long as your memory (or jisung’s. he’s racking up his brain to save himself) could allow. however, as the banter got stretched, the more he realized that he really did misunderstand you and your adorable actions. by a lot. so when it finally donned him that he has such a thick face for thinking like that, plus assuming that you would confess, he finally kept quiet and let himself absorb the stupidity he has done.

for you, however, you find this whole strange exchange hilarious. normally, if it was other guys, you’d have slapped him across the street for assuming things. but it is han jisung. he never rubbed it on anyone’s faces that he has a lot of admirers. he never gets cocky about his popularity. he gets shy over small praises (he loves praises). he also managed to teach the whole class one lesson in calculus minutes before an exam just because his friends asked him to teach them a crash course, until the whole class joined their little tutorial.

“soo...” you tried to start.

“wait don’t talk anymore this is kinda embarrassing for me,” he closed his eyes shut as if he's trying to convince himself to wake up from this embarrassing nightmare.

you giggled, well isn't he adorably clumsy? he's weird but you'd just take it as another opportunity to gain a close friend. “do you still need help in biology? i kinda need help in calculus...”

“alright, let’s head down the diner” he answered immediately before walking straight forward without looking at you.

"jisung!” he stopped on his tracks but without looking at you. “it’s this way!" you pointed at the opposite direction of where he was going. he turned towards you and fast-walked in that direction until you told him to wait for you in which he slowed down his steps by tenfold until you were right beside him. still not letting your eyes meet. he’s that embarrassed.

little did you both know a close friend is not only thing you'd gain from this.

#districtninewriters #inkidz #stray kids #han jisung #stray kids au #han jisung au #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenario #han jisung fluff #han jisung x you #stray kids x reader

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growing-yet-into-magic · 2 years

Text

Meet the Witch🔮🃏🕯

✨4-6-2022 ✨

Personal Name: [REDACTED] Just call me Growing, it’s more familiar online anyhow

Pronouns: He/Him, They/Them, She/Her or any others in any order, most people just gender me on sight so 🤷🏽‍♀️ I don’t get many choices honestly

Age: post-college, but not in my 30s quite yet

Season: Autumn and Spring. I enjoy walking weather now.

Where: NJ, somehow

None of you get to see my face on the whole because online people started being real weird to a college friend of mine when she posted her face on tumblr (this was 2015?) and quite frankly I’m not about that. You can gaze upon this post as long as you promise not to be freaking weird. When I am a grown professional nerd who needs social media this may change! Maybe. Don’t hold me to it. I’ve avoided LinkedIn for TOO LONG (ง'̀-'́)ง

Magical Interests: Ancestral Practices, Cartomancy, Witchcraft research as an art/profession (I’m mid MLS), Tea, divination, folk healing/Herbalism

Some of my favorite blogs!!:

@upthewitchypunx @breelandwalker @afrocentric-divination @ancestralmedicinemagic @north-of-annwn @whichwitchami @hillbillyoracle @lazywitchling @thewitchofthenorsetrilogy @therestlesswitch @tarotio @thetwistedrope @mudanglife @madamehearthwitch @heatherwitch @tarotio @therootwitch @witches-ofcolor @hyruleoctoling @angiethewitch @tieras @will-o-the-witch @cunningcelt @lazywitchling @maddiviner @serpentandthreads @windvexer @teawiththegods

Real talk I copy pasted old tag games tag to try and keep as many mentioned people as possible but I know I forgot some people please forgive me. And some blogs are inactive so...idk be nice and scroll kindly.

Fun facts:

I only learned DND because my boss told me to under pain of death

I once fully almost died in Iceland and when I got back to my aunt she was like “I placed an international call just so that I could have the priest pray with me while you were up there” so everyone thank Mom’s Sister that I am still alive to blog today

I am perhaps the only exclusive expert on cult-exposing literature in my branch. which is not a competitive position. No one is fighting me on it or anything.

Once the Circle got real fucking haunted on Beltane but that’s another story

OH I’m one of the founding members of the Circle of Solitary Sirens! It’s very small, we formed in college, but we do have a charter for growth and expansion in the future so I would love if we added in members one day. I want us to thrive.

I have a Bachelor’s in Psych and a minor in Critical Sexuality Studies, which I capped off with an hour and a half presentation on the sexualization of dead women and the feminine role in death *jazz hands*

Was a girl scout and then a 4Her, not bad for a suburbs kid

no but real talk the 4H to librarian pipeline is real fucking real in this town

Carnegie hall performer twice overrrr no I can’t read sheet music and that has never stopped me!

This is my only social media platform. I deleted tiktok.

One of my favorite authors is @/tamorapierce and I would love to write something that made me feel as strongly as she made me feel as a child

Find me @growing-yet-into-being to see pictures of images

Find me @blank-pages-and-bad-ideas to read words I sometimes write

Find me @growing-yet-into-mundanity to see the stuff I reblog onto basically a junk blog for any interest that isn’t witchcraft. Lots of Danny Phantom. Think my ao3 is somewhere there.

I have a storygraph account here, again, please do not be weird. I have been getting so many funky anons in the last couple months that I am more worried than usual. You have to be signed in to see the profile.

Thank you @baduhennasraven and thank you @cauldron-chatter! This was fun!

#tag games #growing’s nonsense #long post

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fatbiatchforever · 3 years

Text

Forever?

My inspiration for this one was from @turbolisedcomet’s You were supposed to be my forever. The credit goes to her for this idea.

I, weirdly, had a peaceful day at work. Since Bucky wasn't going to be back home anytime soon and because I have the energy for it, I went to a cafe I found online. The brownies here are "to die for" according to TikTok. It's was a modern cafe with a clean look and big white cozy chairs filled the place. I got myself a salted caramel blast and brownies and sat near the window. The cafe was whole other place from the one outside it. A complete contrast from the chaos and bustling on the other side of the window.

I took a bite and landed in heaven. They weren't exaggerating in the least. The brownie was fudgy but not too soft. And the sea salt sprinkled on top mixes beautifully with the rich chocolate. I smile in satisfaction and take my phone out.

After fifteen minutes of replying to messages and scrolling through my feed, I got bored. I smiled at the idea that pooped in my head. I opened Tumblr and read the first post. The thing is when you're with an avenger, you don't have to use your imagination for your daydreams. The internet does that for you.

Yeah, so I read Bucky fanfics. In my defense, I don't do this regularly. I do this when I'm sure Bucky won't pop out of anywhere and when I have nothing better to do. It's just nice to read something and be like he's genuinely like that or remembering his adorable face and melting into a puddle. It can get a bit weird every once in a while *cough* dark Bucky *cough*. I used to scroll past warnings for the element of surprise, read one that crept the living shit out of me and since then I've made it a point to read the warnings first. Until my fifth one today.

It started nice and had things I'm looking forward to, but halfway through turned out to be my hell. At the end of it, my eyesight got a bit cloudy and my bottom lips were pressed on by my teeth. I scrolled back to the beginning, cheating. It's just a fanfic. He would never do that. I groan in frustration. This is why you read the damn WARNING.

I got the remaining brownie packed and bought an extra one and an iced cinnamon latte. People gave me weird looks as I scoffed at myself every once in a while or when I rolled my eyes at nothing. I mean, can you blame them? I felt like an idiot the whole ride back. I know he would never do anything like that, but my stupid head won't stop.

I placed the brown bag on the kitchen counter and made my way to the bedroom. Everything was right where it should be, unlike how I left it. Bucky is the clean one in our relationship. He does this every day. Every morning, after I leave the room upside down for work, he cleans up and leaves for work. I've been trying to reduce my mess, so he doesn't have to do it. But it's a work in progress. I get in the shower with a smile on my face.

He does so many things for me. He makes sure I kiss him the minute he's up. He makes me smoothie in the morning because I hate coffee/tea. He always asks about my work. Pretends to be excited about office drama. Buys me ice cream whenever I'm 'not in the mood' phase. Randomly coming from behind and pulling me closer to him. Makes me laugh with his silly Rick Astley dance moves from the 'Never give you up' music video. Plays just dance with me when both of us can't sleep. Accepted my family and friends like his own. Moreover, he is always there for me.

Bucky would never. I trust him with my life.

I got dressed and sat on the couch.

But what if he's doing this for some sort of normality? What if he thinks this is the only way he could get a normal life? What if he realizes he could do better? Or get tired from being with me? What if I can't give them everything he needs? What if he knows that but isn't saying anything because he's too nice for his own good?

I shake my head.

I can't believe I'm letting this get to me so much. Get a grip Y/N.

I wipe my eyes dry and switch on the T.V. I didn't pay much attention to what's on. All I could think of thousand ways our relation could go wrong.

I heard the lock turning and instantly knew who it would be. I wipe my face down for any sign and look at the T.V.

"Hey! You're earlier than usual." Bucky says as he closes the door behind him.

I nod, "Yeah. How was today?"

Bucky went to the bedroom and shouted back, "Training in the morning and went out for lunch with Sam. By the way, Sam's coming over tomorrow. Something about you two watching something together."

"Oh ya. There's a new Netflix crime documentary out."

"What's this?" Bucky had changed into shorts and a graphic t-shirt. He held the bag in his hand.

"I went to a cafe. They had the most amazing brownies, Buck. The vibe of the place was amazing. I'll take you next time. I got you a some brownie and cinnamon latte. It's in the fridge. Add ice, if you want. Didn't want it to be watered down."

Bucky opens the fridge for the latte and grabs the bag from the counter. He walks to me with a huge smile on his face and sets it on the coffee table.

He leans to my side and kisses me, "Thanks, doll. I love you."

He takes the brownie outside and holds it out in confusion, "You bought two?"

"That's my leftover."

Bucky looks at me with wide eyes, "You didn't eat your brownie? What the hell happened?"

I roll my eyes, "Shut up. I wasn't in the mood."

"Weird." He takes a bite and shakes his head up and down with his eyes closed. I laugh at his antics, "These are good. You need to take me there."

"I will."

Bucky holds the cup and rests his head on my shoulder. He takes a sip and hums, "I like when you're here earlier than me."

"You're such a teddy bear. I'm not even kidding. There are times when I can't believe you're capable of being scary."

"I'm scary." His eyes turn to glare at me with an expressionless face.

"And then I'm reminded otherwise."

He nods and nuzzles his face on my shoulder.

"You're something else." I say. Bucky nods again as he takes another sip.

He would never.

"Can we talk?"

He raises his face off my shoulders and places the drink on the table. I move on the couch to face him as he does the same. He holds my hand.

"Uhm, I uh. I want- I don't know. Okay,"

"Y/N." He gently squeezes my hand. "You can tell me anything."

"Yeah, of course. So, Uhm, you know you can leave me anytime right?"

Bucky moves his hand away, "WHAT?!"

"Wait! That's not what I meant! I mean, like you're not pressured into anything right?"

Bucky straightens up as worry and confusion fills him, "Do you want to leave?"

I rub my head. "NOOOOO. Shit. Ugh! How do I say without it coming out in the wrong way?"

"You don't have to worry about that anymore." He stares at me with his eyebrows furrowed.

I sigh, "We're engaged. And I just want to make sure you're not having any doubts."

"I'm not having ANY doubts. Are you?" He moves his head to the side and gives me a sharp look.

"Good. It's not a doubt. I just need to get it all in the open."

"Then, get it all in the open." Bucky locks his arms in front of his chest.

I gulp, "I love you. I just want to make sure you know what this means to me. I don't want us to get somewhere and think it was a mistake."

"Don't try to sugarcoat it for me. Say it." His last words dripping with anger.

"I don't want to get divorced!"

"Y/N-"

"I love you. After we get married, I don't want you to realize that you didn't want this. If there's anything that makes you feel you're not ready to be with me, let's not do it."

Bucky looks down.

"There are two reasons. The first one is that in my family once you're married, you're expected to be married. My parents are going to have a hard time if we are going to separate just because we had a change of heart. I know I won't, I need to know you won't too."

Bucky's expression doesn't change. Without looking at me, he speaks, "Other reason?"

"I uhm-" My voice cracks, but I continue, "My future with you is nailed down. I can't see myself anywhere without you. But once we're married that dream is going to be cemented. And nails come out easier than cement. It's going to rip my heart apart, but it'll hurt less than when we're married. So, if you have to leave, leave right now."

"What makes you think I'm going to leave you?"

"I don't know."

He snickers.

"Fine. You realize that you could be with someone better than me. Or actually, find someone better than me and just leave with her. Or because I'm not enough for you and you turn to other sources."

"Or you're worried that I'm going to cheat on you."

I cover my face to hide my tears. I felt like someone was choking me and I couldn't breathe. I rub my throat to ease the pain.

Two arms engulf me in a tight hold. And all walls broke down. I sobbed into his chest, every worry and sadness in me washing over.

"What happened Y/N?"

I sniff as I bury my face deeper into his chest, "It's embarrassing."

"Tell me." He draws circles on my back, as I take a deep breath.

"I was in the cafe. I- I came across this story about you. We were married for few years and we had a baby girl and everything was, uhm nice."

I feel my eyes watering again as I remember what happens next. Bucky continues to hold me in his arms, "You went away for a mission with Sam. A month, but then you extended your thing by a day, to uhm, to-" My voice breaks and the pain returns sharper on my throat, my small voice breaks the silence, "To be with someone you met during a mission. I found out through a friend who was staying in that hotel. I came to the room with our baby and we fought. I left, without you."

Bucky held me tighter and I clung onto him as my life depended on it.

My eyes were burning and my throat felt sore, "I don't think I could be with someone who cheated on me. I know I would leave too. But just the thought of leaving you alone and not seeing you again breaks me. I love you, Bucky. But if you're not sure, I rather hurt now than hurt later when it will hurt a thousand times more. I don't want you to feel pressured into anything."

Bucky pushes me off him to look at his face. He was in tears too. The strained tears outlined his pink lips.

He holds my face between his palm, "I'm never leaving. Not for anything or anyone. You're more than I thought I would ever get. I want this." He presses his nose on mine, "I want to be your husband and have a future with you. I want to wake up to your beautiful smile and listen to songs in bed on lazy Saturdays. I can't even think of being with anyone but you, Y/N. You make me feel loved every day. If we have bumps on the road, I promise to work with you and never leave you stranded. But, you don't have to ever worry about someone else. You're all I need and want."

I kiss him. The kiss was sloppy but both of us didn't care. We both wanted to be held and feel each other more than anything.

"As the kids nowadays say, I've only got hots for you."

I laugh into his lips, "No one says that anymore, Buck."

"Damn it!"

"Sam?"

"Who else."

Bucky wipes my tears as I do the same for him, "I know I overreacted. But you know how my brain-"

"I know. You always help me when I've doubts. This is the least I can do for you. I will never willingly leave you. But one day-"

I cover his mouth, "JAMES!"

He holds my wrist and pulls my hand down to his heart, "If I don't come back from a mission, I want you to know I always loved you and always will. I will never leave you willingly. I need you to be prepared."

I nod, "I will always know you went away because the universe hates me, not you. I can take the universe's hate but not yours. I love you, no matter what. Except if you cheat on me or hurt anyone. By YOUR will. "

"I promise. And Y/N stop saying the universe hurts you. Now your turn."

"For?"

"Promise me you won't leave or cheat on me."

I giggle, "I promise to always be by your side to annoy you and would never cheat on you. Besides, you've spoiled my taste in men. If they don't have a metal arm, eyes that could kill, and not over 100 years old, I can't even think about anything like that."

"Good. That's how I feel about other women. Except, if they don't have multiple random scratches out of nowhere, a beautiful body, and a killer smile, forget about it. The way you’re eyes light up when you're talking about your interests. And those eyes and those lips-"

"I get it."

"Good because I will remind you how many ever times it takes."

I take a piece of brownie and stuff it in his mouth. He swallows it down with a smirk on his face.

"So is this why you couldn't finish your brownie?"

I nod.

"And you read fanfics about me?"

My eyes widen in shock, "You know about fanfics?"

"Bird brain teaches me something right."

"I mean occasionally. When I have nothing to do. It's creepy, isn't it?" I bury my face in my hands to hide my embarrassment and panic.

Bucky laughs as he pushes my hand away, "I find it cute. Thinking about me when I'm not there."

I roll my eyes at his inflating ego, "At this rate, your ego's going to burst."

Bucky places his hand on my thigh, "I love you. I know your brain is going to think about this more, but you need to tell me. Okay?"

"I will. You know I trust you, right?"

His lips turn into a straight line as he looks down. I hold his hand in mine, "Bucky. I trust you. I pr-"

Bucky's lips curve to a smile, "I'm kidding. I know you trust me."

I hit his head and throw his hands away. He groans, "You always do this to me!"

"I don't care."

He pouts and pushes his lips further, "No. Don't."

Bucky brings his face closer to mine, "STOP! BUCKY!"

He pushes harder while I turn my face to the other side and can't stop laughing.

"KISS ME."

Bucky is over me at this point, "Y/N STOP SQUIRMING AWAY."

Bucky tightens his hold on me and yanks me closer. He presses his lips on me while I'm still giggling. He pinches my waist, which catches me off guard. He takes the chance to slips his tongue in and work his magic. Next thing you know, I melting into a puddle.

Bucky pulls away with a huge smirk.

I get up, "Shut up and eat."

Bucky picks up the brownie and passes it to me, "Finish your brownie. Feed me some."

He picks up his cup and rests his head on my arm.

"I'm going to ask Sam tomorrow."

"That's amazing, Buck. I bet he's going to tear up a bit."

He chews from the side and asks, "How much?"

"Five."

"Come on."

"Ten."

He clinks the cup against my brownie, "Done. When are you going to ask Rox and Adrian?"

I groan, "I don't know. Maybe next week."

"What about Jake?"

"That reminds me. Uhm, I've always wanted someone we know to get us married, instead of a priest. So what do you think about Jake being our officiant?"

Bucky's expression changed to the one when he's thinking. He looks at me and nods, "I would like that."

"Yes. He's going to be so happy."

"I can't wait to get married to you."

I kiss his nose, "Me too."

#bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #james buchanan barnes #bucky x you #bucky x y/n

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