#this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing.

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family

#fucking hell #it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister #who was equally dreading the day #my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt #then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present) #multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way. #combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high #weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells. #this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing. #then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on. #my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence #i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum #who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?) #me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting. #Which amuses the bored and the deaf #but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed #they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes #finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism* #still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously #(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something) #me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room #and made things appear that should not be there #I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go #you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room. #i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear #I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that. #the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well #she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer #maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk. #can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important

[crystal-crax]

A RANT:

THE NEON LEON

(I) A rise to leadership

Pun intended bc Leo would love it

Has this been done yet? Of course, but i love ranting about my favorite characters and boy, rise tmnt has so much to rant about (well, the whole tmnt franchise has enough material to speak for HOURS buttt rise lives forever in my heart so yeah i'm biased). Might talk about mutant mayhem in the future idk.

Leonardo Hamato/Splinterson has always been the leader, the one that carries the weight of carrying the team and following splinter's steps as the next "head" of the family (as said by splinter in the 2012 tmnt). And yeah in much of the versions of the turtles, this is a very important aspect of his personality, it's his literal purpose; it's the catalyst for a lot of the narratives and storylines seen across the tmnt universe: His fights with Raph, his anxiety, his inferiority complex, his constant wish to be better, how he sometimes neglects (or simply goes against?)his brother's feelings in order to keep them and the team itself safe.

Being the leader is both the weight and medal that comes with being Leonardo, that sisyphean task that we will always see try to accomplish over and over again.

So if we want to explore why he is a great leader... shouldn't we take that weight off his shoulders?

And that my people, it's what rise does perfectly. The best way to prove that Leo is a great leader? To show us how he can handle the team from the shadows, let us see how well he knows his team's strengths and shortcomings.

But don't just make him want to be the leader, no no, show us why we should all trust him to.

First of all: Leo panicking at the face of danger, might be useful sometimes.

Honest to god: i think the rise writers and animators are amazing. They're so GOOD at showing us important pieces of the characters even without directly saying it.

First of all, he doesn't have a fight or flight response because he straight up waves his ōdachi directly at anything that attacks him and his brothers (bro has kill om sight sense, he literally sliced warren one time, remember?). He will always have the advantage, even when surprised. Also the way he lightens up the situation with his witty banter and one liners when stress is too much? Extra points for keeping team morale up👍

Or in a different case, leo's panic when the mad dogs get in trouble upon a stronger rival. Why is it great? Because even though he's losing his absolute shit, he's able to act and take the next conscious step; even when it's used for laughs: He calls for his father when his family is in danger. It may sometimes be a funny gag ; like in "Flushed but never forgotten" or soul fucking wrenching like when they're attacked by shredder and RAPH IS PROTECTING DONNIE AND LEO SCREAMS AND I- *ehem*. But he knows splinter it's capable of defending them, he trained them after all (this may be arguable when talking about season 1 splint but well, he still recognizes his father as a ninja and his master).

And thus, the next marvel of Leo:

B) He's completely aware of the team's abilities

He's a middle child, he has seen everything, and the most perfect example of it: Many unhappy returns.

BOY IF THAT'S NOT THE MOST AMAZING DEMONSTRATION OF LEO'S LEADERSHIP AND STRATEGY IDK WHAT ELSE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR

He trusts his siblings completely, sure he looks out for them and supports them when needed (while being sarcastic about it), but he knows they're amazing at the hero thing.

I wouldn't doubt it if Splinter; being with Leo most of the episode saw just how in control he was of the situation and went: "dude...why are you not the one leading the team? You're...actually so smart wtf????"

C)He knows how to dial down his brother's enthusiasm and calls out his father's faults (and sometimes hypocrisy)

Remember the paper thieves episode?

That's peak leader Leo

The whole team was full on trying to get killed for the lols, and what does he do? Pulls them to the side and explains why they should start with something more simple and gives a speech on why focusing on the "easier task" it's still a good hero job (look out for the small/weaker ones, right?)

Not only that, but he's the one that constantly calls out his dad's mess ups, remaining by his brother's side and defending them (THIS IS NOT A SPLINTER SLANDER, I'M SAD DAD SUPPORTER AND I WILL TALK ABOUT IT LATER) seen as one of the YouTube shorts or when splints nags then about keeping secrets from him: he stands for his team, "you are not supposed to do that/you do the same thing you yell at us for"

He both inspires and defends his team, and hey; a leader is not the one that orders, but the one that motivates and supports you.

D) He's their personal hype man

Cue back to point B, he is amazed by his siblings abilities, even if he dies hide it sometimes. Remember when mikey wanted to go on a solo mission? He's fully on board and never doubts mikey is in control of the situation (sure he does go to "save him" with the others later on but come on, you all heard the call and saw Raph panicking. He trusts him but he's still his little brother y'know?)

He knows Donnie is an absolutely genious and is completely aware of Raph's dedication to the hero gig and responsability.

April and Splints? He knows they're completely capable of holding their own and willingly helps them when the situation calls for it.

And this is it please be free to add anything you might like and tell me if i'm making sense??? Idk i just love him a lot😞

HECK EVEN CASEY, A LITERAL BOY HE JUST MET. He is aware of casey's passion and abilities; i mean, if his own future self trusts him as the only one capable to fix everything, why shouldn't he?

Conclusion: Leo quite literally grew to deserve the role of the leader.

#tmnt #tmnt rant #rise of the tmnt #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt #rotmnt #rise leo #thanks for coming to my rant #rant post

[divine-donna]

are you on the square?

as i wrote in an earlier post, here is a shitpost about which ghost songs i’d assign to the hotd cast. i am a massive ghost fan outside of hotd and have written my fair share of fics. :)

all of these songs tend to have catholic references (as is the nature of ghost). but some of them fit really well with ghost especially since the faith of the seven is based off of christianity.

ser criston cole

from the pinnacle to the pit - meliora

in reference to criston soiling his white cloak, the man quite literally has a fall from grace. which i find aligns with the imagery present in this song since it involves an angel being cast out of heaven. but unlike the angel, criston has a savior to catch him.

“you are cast out from the heavens to the ground, blackened feathers falling down. you will wear your independence like a crown.”

daemon targaryen

darkness at the heart of my love - impera

daemon loves the people around him. but in a literal sense, his love is tainted. there’s something dangerous about his love (seen with rhaenyra). it’s only befitting to give him a song that mirrors the complexity of his love whether it’s love for his wife, for his brother, for his children.

“there’s a darkness at the heart of my love that runs cold, runs deep. the darkness at the heart of my love, so bold, so sweet. and all this time you knew that i would put you through the darkness at the heart of my love for you.”

rhaenyra targaryen

deus in absentia - meliora

deus in absentia is a song that questions the state of the world (and is part of the whole theme of meliora which interrogates a world without god). since rhaenyra has plunged westeros into war, it’s a song that fits with her worldview being challenged and for her to have to interrogate a world without her father.

“you’re so goddamn frail, failing for a change. you had just begun to explore the dark in the urban night. the world is on fire and you are here to stay and burn with me. a funeral pyre. and we are here to revel forevermore.”

alicent hightower

witch image - prequelle

alicent opened pandora’s box when she wore that green dress to rhaenyra’s wedding celebration. and arguably, she is responsible for the death of many people (even if done without her knowledge and whether or not she wanted it to happen). however the woman is willing to do anything to protect her children even at the cost of other lives.

“while you sleep in early delight, someone’s flesh is rotting tonight like no other to you. what you’ve done, you cannot undo. while you sleep in early delight, still your soul will suffer this plight. but like a mother would save her own child from digging a grave.”

aegon targaryen

absolution - meliora

as the oldest son, aegon has responsibilities. he has responsibilities of assuming the throne despite rhaenyra’s position as heir. he hates having these expectations and personally wishes that his sister would ascend faster. the meaning of the word absolution is a formal release from guilt, an obligation, or a punishment. and well, aegon wishes to be free from his obligation as prince.

“ever since you’ve been born, you’ve been dying. every day a little more you’ve been dying. dying to reach the setting sun. as a child with your mind on the horizon, over corpses to the eyes you kept your eyes on, trying to be the chosen one.”

aemond targaryen

spillways - impera

ever since losing his eye, aemond has felt anger and bitterness for most of his waking hours. it never goes away. and it all builds up over the years until it eventually begins to seep out and affect the people around him. it affected vhagar, it affected his mother. and he just lets his emotions continue to fuel his body and soul.

“all your faith, all your rage, all your pain, it ain’t over now and i ain’t talking about forgiveness! all your faith, all your rage, all your pain, it ain’t over now. it’s the cruel beast that you feed. it’s your burning, yearning, need to bleed through the spillways, through the spillways of your soul.”

helaena targaryen

ghuleh/zombie queen - infestissumam

queen helaena is a figure revered amongst the smallfolk. she is beloved by them. they see her as the rightful queen rather than rhaenyra. of course, her death becomes a morale boost for the greens and enhances aegon’s claim. she becomes a figure that lives in the smallfolk’s mind even after her death.

“the moon is full and shines. an evil blinding light. under a monolith, her likeness, marble white. zombie queen! zombie queen! black light guides you. ghuleh! ghuleh!”

jacaerys velaryon

hunter’s moon - impera

when he received news about the death of his younger brother, prince jacaerys swore vengeance on luke’s grave. he swore he would kill aemond. and the dance of the dragons is the perfect time for him to achieve that vengeance. he’s quite literally hunting for aemond.

“it’s been a long time coming, i’m coming back for you, my friend. to where we’d hide as children, i’m coming back for you, my friend. though my memories have faded they come back to haunt me once again! and though my mind is somewhat jaded now, it’s time for me to strike again. tonight, it’s a hunter’s moon!”

#this is not to be taken seriously #hotd #hotd shitpost #house of the dragon #aegon the usurper #rhaenyra targaryen #alicent hightower #daemon targaryen #aemond targaryen #helaena targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #ser criston

[recurring-polynya]

What if the Hisana-Rukia family were also some level of nobility - either by being born into their own noble family or by being the current 'most important Kuchiki' in place of Byakuya? Either way the Byakuya-Hisana marriage would likely face less opposition, but the Renji-Rukia relationship would suffer from them not being together in Inuzuri. (Unless his backstory is modified too to enable his meeting/interaction with Rukia.)

There were so many places I could have gone with this, but promised to do a nice one next, so please enjoy this universe where Kuchiki Sisters be the flyest noble girls in the Seireitei and Byakuya is just weirdly intense rando from Inuzuri who is fortunate enough to be best bros with a charming jock who keeps him pointed in the right direction (most of the time).

[Note: I got quite a few variations on Byakuya - Rukia - Hisana swaps, and hopefully this will reasonably satisfy people]

Did Polynya stay between 500 and 1000 words?: I really thought I was gonna and then it came out to 1678 

| ao3 | ff.net |

🌸     🤍    💗

“You’re late,” Inuzuri Byakuya noted, not bothering to look up from his kidou textbook as his erstwhile best friend flopped down heavily in the grass next to him.

“I am exhausted, a tender pile of bruises, and this is the greeting I get?” Abarai Renji replied, throwing one arm over his eyes dramatically.

“A tender pile of excuses, more like,” Byakuya muttered.

“It’s hard work being on the advanced track!” Renji defended himself. “Cut me some slack!”

“Your last class ended forty-five minutes ago. You were sparring with that girl again, weren’t you? You can let her beat you up, if you must, but don’t complain to me about your aches and pains.”

“Her name is Rukia and I don’t let her do anything,” Renji sighed dreamily. “She’s just really strong. Anyway, I’m less late than usual! Ordinarily, Rukia takes at least an hour to work me over, but her sister is visiting this afternoon, so she gave me the express beat-down. I thought that was very considerate, to squeeze me into her busy schedule.”

Byakuya gave a noncommittal grunt. “Which kidou did your class cover today?”

Renji was not so easily budged from his current favorite subject. “I wish you’d give her a chance. She’s a lot like you, you know. Real serious exterior. Goes hard as Hell on literally everything. Thinks about everything too much. Cares about everything too much.”

“She’s a noble, Renji, from one of the most important families in Soul Society. I’m sure she’s very polite, but she wouldn’t understand the kind of life we’ve led. You’re better off not to get too close to her.”

“Rukia’s not like other nobles. Her mom died when she was born, and they ended up fostering her out to the Shiba, you know, the crazy nobles who live out in Momo’s district? I guess they were hoping her dad would remarry and have a son, but he ended up dying instead, and her sister got made clan head. The sister is a pretty wild bird, apparently. She was friends with that badass Shihouin clan head that got exiled?”

“Maybe if your head wasn’t so full of Seireitei gossip, you’d actually be able to cast a shakkahou.”

“Doubtful. You’ll love this next part. Their grandfather tried to make Lady Hisana take a husband, I guess, but she refused to marry anyone who couldn’t beat her in a sword fight?”

“If I were an old, horrible grandfather, I would simply not agree to such terms. It always ends the same way.”

“It did, too, that’s how she ended up becoming clan head herself. Anyway, Rukia really looks up to her sister and is determined to live up to her example.”

“I know how much you love immensely troublesome people, Renji, but I am telling you that this one is going to get you a lot worse than a few black eyes if you don’t take care, a thing you have historically shown no aptitude for whatsoever.”

“Pbbt.” Renji hauled himself up into a sitting position. “I get your point, Byakuya, but I think you’re being really short-sighted. A lot of nobles are assholes, sure, but that doesn’t mean they all are. And like it or not, connections will get you everywhere in the Seireitei. I know how much you like to stab yourself in the foot with your own principles, but if making friends with a Kuchiki gets me a spot in the court guards, I won’t lose any sleep over it.”

“If ‘making friends’ was all you had on your mind, I wouldn’t be nearly so worried,” Byakuya turned a page in his book. “But as it happens, one of the reasons I have to train so hard is so that I can help defend your sorry ass when her family comes after you for besmirching her honor.”

Renji made a wistful hum. “If I could get within a spirit mile of besmirching distance, I’d die a happy man.”

Byakuya shook his head. “You’re an idiot. She has her pick of companions at this place. Why in Hell would she spend time bashing her sword against your oversized, hunky carcass if she weren’t just as besotted with you as you are with her?”

“That’s kind of a good question, now that you mention it,” Renji scratched the back of his head. “You think? You really think that’s possible?”

“I cannot believe they put you in the advanced track and not me.”

Renji wagged a finger thoughtfully. “Like I don’t ask myself that every day. I happened to mention that to Rukia, actually--”

“Why are you talking about me to your friends? Do not talk about me to your friends.”

“My friends love Byakuya stories. They think you are enigmatic and mysterious, no matter how much I tell them you are just boring and grumpy. In any case, Rukia says that first of all, there’s a quota of the number of kids from Rukongai that are even allowed in the advanced class, and it’s not very high. As far as I can tell, there might be four of us, total? More importantly, Seireitei people only like shinigami from the Rukon that fit into neat little stories. Momo’s okay because she’s from District 1 and she’s smart and cute and follows the rules. I’m okay, because I’m big and strong, but also dumb and don’t have any of those, whaddya call ‘em. Social graces.”

“You’re not dumb, don’t say that.”

“You call me dumb all the time.”

“That’s different. We have a long and rich history together. I saw you get in a shouting match with a tanuki once. The arrogant bastards in this city haven’t earned the right to call you dumb, and it’s not a thing you should hand over lightly.”

Renji sighed. “See, this is exactly what Rukia was talking about. You’re brilliant and you’re talented and you call out 100% of the bullshit you hear. The bastards don’t like it when guys like you come out of the shit end of Rukongai. It scares ‘em.”

Byakuya made a little humming noise as he pretended to study the chant breakdown chart for soukatsui. “Lady Rukia doesn’t like me, then?”

“Rukia thinks you’re great, because all she knows about you is the shit I’ve told her. She doesn’t like being called Lady Rukia at school, by the way. I wish you would meet her. She’s not like what you think. She’s nice and she cares about people. She says she wants to make Soul Society better for everyone, especially people from the Rukon.”

“That’s a nice sentiment, Renji, but it’s all just talk. It physically pains me to say these words out loud, but you do have an objectively…” he grimaced, “very…attractive…body…situation, or so I am told, frequently, against my will. Miss Kuchiki just wants you to like her. And as endearing as your puppy-like naivety may be, you can’t just turn into a pile of damp cardboard every time someone with a pretty face bats their eyes at you.”

“I think you’re real cute, too, buddy. But you are wrong about Rukia. She’s a really good person. I am very discerning about who I turn into damp cardboard f-- Oh! Shit! Stand up! Stand up!”

Both young men shot to their feet, snapping into the ramrod posture that seven months at Shinoureijutsuin had burned directly into their nervous systems. “What, what, what’s happening?” Byakuya sputtered out of the side of his mouth. There were two people coming toward them. Women. One in Academy reds, the other in black and white. He wasn’t very good at these sudden context shifts, a fact which only contributed to his reputation as an ill-mannered malcontent.

“Noble,” Renji spat back. He seemed to grasp the subtleties of a social situation so intuitively that it made Byakuya’s head spin sometimes. “Super noble. Highest level of formality. Speak only when spoken to. Maybe don’t speak at all. Fuck.”

“I won’t screw this up,” Byakuya hissed desperately. “I promise!”

“I’m not worried about you!”

“Renji! Renji, there you are!”

The slightly smaller of the two approaching figures was waving at them cheerfully.

Extremely tentatively, Renji waved back.

Byakuya might take issue with Renji’s judgment from time to time, but there wasn’t anything wrong with his taste. Kuchiki Rukia was a very attractive young woman, with her heart-shaped face and big violet eyes and cute little pointy nose. But as Byakuya’s eyes drifted over to her companion, he felt like his heart had been knocked clear out of his body.

Rukia’s sister-- because it had to be Rukia’s sister, who else could it be?-- was really only a series of slight variations on her sibling, and yet, the result was something exquisite, something inhuman. Her eyes were just a shade bluer and darker and far more serious. Her hair was a trifle longer, finer, with a tendency toward curling. She was ever so slightly taller and slimmer, her frame fey, where Rukia’s was gamine. She held her reiatsu close, as their teachers did, but Byakuya could feel it humming out from her, rattling the air right out of his lungs.

“Sister,” Rukia said warmly, “This is my friend that I’ve been telling you about, Abarai Renji, and his close friend, Inuzuri Byakuya, whom I don’t know very well, but I’ve heard many good things about. Abarai-san, Inuzuri-san, may I introduce my illustrious sister, Kuchiki Hisana, 28th Head of the Kuchiki Clan and the Captain of the Sixth Division.”

Byakuya was dimly aware of Renji beside him, dipping into a deep bow and saying something that wasn’t registering as words to his ears. He probably should also be bowing, but he simply couldn’t, all he could do was stand there like an idiot and gape at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, even as she narrowed her eyes and looked him over as one might scrutinize a bug that has just scuttered out from under the bed.

Ah, he thought to himself. So this is what turning a pile of damp cardboard feels like.

#what if requests #my writing #byakuya kuchiki #renji abarai #👏let 👏byakuya 👏say 👏ass👏 #he still cusses less than 98% of the populace of inuzuri #this was so fun to write just let renji and b have banter just let them be besties who are trash for two sisters

[loliwrites]

Ok so -- per the Friday night sleepover prompts, I'm going to tell you about my crush. BC I have like.. 3.

guy numero uno: Looks vaguely like Gustaf, DOM with a capital D. VERY much speaks my language sexually but I'm a little intimidated to meet him in person.

guy numero dos: Dog dad (to a Bully breed ANGEL), new in town, Jewish, and my kind of handsome (tall, thick, bearded, sweet smile, V nice hands,. vaguely nerdy). VERY promising. I'm not Jewish, but I've always felt inexplicably connected to the religion even though I typically eschew most modern religions but there's a lot to it that I feel drawn to and respect. And then I found out there's a whole belief about how Jewish converts are believed to be reincarnated souls of formerly Jewish people who are coming home to their people and it felt like "whoa"

guy numero tres: Cat dad (but she's V cute.. excellent whiskers, seems to be the boss of him in the best way). Lives in the same city as my two best friends. Goofy & seems to be a hardworker, very nice green eyes.

So anyway, I'm basically a giggly teenaged girl every time my phone goes off.

Charlie, yesssssss! I love all of this for you. Literally beaming with pride over here 🖤🖤

Perhaps guy numero tres is the most attainable, BUT may I present to you, my top runner, Jewish boy numero dos.

And you’re right! Converts to Judaism are seen as more holy than people who are born Jewish because the process of converting is made so difficult. Traditionally, people seeking to convert will be turned away from a rabbi 3 times before being allowed to begin the process. That’s ‘cuz we’re a tribe and unlike practically all other religions, we don’t actively search out new members. You’ll never find a Jew knocking on your door to try and get you to convert.

Perhaps I’m a little biased being Jew-ish (I’m about as secular as you can get while still identifying), but Judaism on the whole tends to be one of the most tolerant religions. Sure we’ve got our own wonky stories and rules. But on the whole, Judaism supports same-sex marriage and LGBTQ+ rights, even in the most conservative groups. People in the non-binary community have found comfort in Judaism’s idea of b’tzelem elohim which says every human is made in the image of God, just as they are, perfect. And what I love most is the Torah only says to love your neighbor once. In the whole text. But it tells you to love and protect a stranger thirty-six times.

Edit: Wanted to add that even the most super Orthodox community supports women’s health and rights. They support abortion if the woman’s life is endangered and sometimes require it if that’s the case. As well as “health” not only being interpreted as physical & reproductive health, but mental health included.

Anywho, that’s my soapbox. Oh, and wish the Jews in your life, Shabbat Shalom tonight. And may you all have a peaceful and restful weekend.

#not a fic #loli rambles #asked #ask loli #hausofobsession #sleepover saturday #loli ama

[swordsandskelebones]

some wild and mildly incoherent speculation re: the narrative voice choice in the final uhhh 25% of nona the ninth because that’s what’s most on my mind at the moment—

i don’t think i’m anywhere near the only person desperately wishing for a non-nona POV on pretty much everything post-Palamedes’ Great Body Heist, both because of Nona’s limited understanding of the people/relationships that we the readers are at this point very familiar with and because of Nona’s deteriorating state nearing the end of the book. I’m not entirely sure I’ll actually fully comprehend what was happening there without a few rereads on more than four hours of sleep—and even then, maybe we won’t know exactly what happened until Alecto comes out.

It’s not even as though an eleventh-hour POV switch is unheard of in this series, either—on the contrary, it’s almost expected (it would be a lie to say I didn’t hold out half a hope for the return of our beloved Gideon Nav Narrative Voice throughout the book). But the absence of such a POV swap, almost to the detriment of the narrative’s coherency, begs the question of why not?

And this is where I have Thoughts

(under a cut because HMM I SURE CAN RAMBLE)

First, to establish the rules of Locked Tomb POV Characters. Ostensibly, the POV character is the one in the title—or at least, this is what the reader is led to believe the first time around. Even, however, in Harrow the Ninth, where most of the non-River narration is fully outsourced to the unnamed-yet-still-aware-enough-to-be-critical-of-Harrow’s-lack-of-sword-knowledge Gideon, Harrow still gets her moments of narrative POV in the River bubbles. As far as I can recall, within the main texts of the series (excluding bonus stories and content), the only narrative POVs followed are Gideon’s, Harrow’s, and Nona’s.

It’s also important to establish here that these POVs are almost always maintained even through the physical incapacitation of the POV narrator, with a fairly unchallenged hierarchy: when Gideon’s soul is present, she takes the narrative reins; when she’s not around but Harrow is, Harrow takes over narration (GTN epilogue, River bubbles in HTN), and when they’re both out of commission post-HTN, Nona shows up.

Except—technically, that’s not true, is it? Because Gideon—or rather, Kiriona—is much more than just a walking corpse when she shows up halfway through NTN. By all rules of previously-established narrative hierarchy, she should have at least jumped in and taken over for a bit. Unless—

She can’t, because narration powers require that the narrator be a complete soul, and Kiriona Gaia isn’t quite a complete soul-glass full of Gideon Nav

and that would give the whole game away, wouldn't it?

And our secondary narrative voice POV prospect—Harrow—complete with her whole intact soul which at least makes her more capable of narrating everything than not-quite-Gideon (which, kind of her fault anyway tbh) has decided that it’s a great time to take a nap in her idolized-corpse-gf-the-first’s inaccessible body, so she’s not contributing anything to the narrative understanding anytime soon. So the narrative voice responsibility stays with Nona, even as she falls apart (literally and figuratively) and goes through the mildly traumatizing process of remembering that time she was kind of a planet, and kind of everyone, and kind of one person all at once. (or at least!! that’s the impression i’m getting here!!)

anyway uhhhh i genuinely don’t know if i have a point to make here whoops. also i just remembered about six other things i need to scream about regarding stuff that isn’t meta-narrative-voice-analysis. i just kind of needed to get a handful of thoughts down about why the end of the book was Like That when it really would have been easier to parse what was happening if the pov character had maybe not been three seconds from dying horribly and also regaining all her memories of being something incomprehensible to most people

then again. when has this ever been a series one might call easy to parse

#in which it becomes increasingly obvious that my sleep deficit is catching up with me #don’t even know if this is comprehensible it’s literally just ramblings #tldr: why no pov change? nobody around intact enough to do it #at least that is my working theory #ntn spoilers #nona spoilers #tlt spoilers #nona the ninth spoilers #i thINK that’s all the spoiler tags #for the roughly zero people who follow me #but on the off chance this shows up in the actual tag based on key words #idk ask me about it when i’ve slept on it

[zivazivc]

Pinocchio AU

Okay people want the explanation for this comic so here it goes. It’s long and complicated and MESSED UP because of course it is, this is me. I’m going to write in points because my small tired brain can’t handle good english atm but basically to sum up the Adrien was a sentimonster theory or Pinocchio AU as I like to call it:

Young married Emilie and Gabriel can’t have kids. Gabriel reluctantly accepts this fate and even brings up adoption as a possibility once, but Emilie doesn’t want to hear any of that. She’s a bit of a Marinette in the sense that she pictures this romanticized ideal life for herself and a child—her flesh and blood—HAS to be in it.

They keep trying to get a baby while other young families Emilie knows keep growing. She feels left out and hurt and depressed, then her newlywed twin sister announces she’s expecting a baby too and something within Emilie just unhinges.

She eventually lies to some of her friends, who she was out for coffee with, that she’s pregnant too. She mostly does it just to see their reaction and feel what it would be like but it quickly spirals out of control where she just starts pretending she’s pregnant until you can’t even tell if she believes it herself.

Gabriel is confused at first because he hears the news second hand (a friend/family member congratulating him) so he’s apprehensive when he approaches his wife but she convinces him that they really are getting a baby and Gabriel is ecstatic.

It’s only later at a doctor’s check up that Gabriel learns that she indeed is not pregnant. The doctor even speaks to him alone explaining that his wife is in denial and that he should make sure she goes to see a psychiatrist, something she definitely wouldn’t do alone.

Gabriel is unsuccessful with that because he’s not entirely persistent, doesn’t want to be the guy with the crazy wife having to tell everyone she lied about being pregnant, and hopelessly believes she’ll just get over it eventually.

That is until her “pregnancy is near due”—her sister already had Félix in England a few months ago—and he stumbles on her transformed with her peacock miraculous (they already have both of them) creating a sentimonster newborn.

They have a huge fight about it but because Emilie refuses to destroy it, won’t tell Gabriel where the amok is, and Gabriel can’t just hurt the baby with his hands, Emilie just… wins. Fucked up, yeah?

Now she tried creating kids before this one, using her imagination to try and blend her and Gabriel’s looks but it just wasn’t working. So she decided to copy of photos of baby Félix because he already looked almost like a copy of his mother, and Amélie and Emilie already looked alike so it’s not so weird?—is what her mind was telling her.

She didn’t dare alter his looks but she decided to give the baby Gabriel’s eye color to include the “father” in some way. (Yes in that comic I made I gave Adrien a mix of green and gray but that was mainly to get the point across to the perceptive readers)

Now we got Adrien, a normal baby boy to the whole world except for Gabriel who’s forced into his wife’s fantasy through social expectations.

Why are we only at this point and this post is already so long AAAAAAAA!!!

Adrien physically basically grows in a way where Emilie just keeps changing his appearance to match what Félix looked like a few months prior.

Mentally he’s like a robot just taking in information without really needing to learn it. So Emilie decides when he says his first word, she decides when he learns to walk,… He knows how to walk, he just wasn’t given the command to do so yet.

But even so he does develop a personality over time, just slower, because unlike a normal child who’s always testing his boundaries, how far they’re allowed to go until they’re in real trouble, Adrien just can’t misbehave. At all.

But he does have his favorite foods and favorite toys, and jokes that make him laugh the most. The problem is just that Emilie could just decide that his favorite food is strawberries and he’d just start acting accordingly, rewiring his belief. 

He also isn’t allowed to argue or be mean to others which is why Félix thinks he’s a goody two-shoes weirdo while Chloé the brat adores him.

This behavior isn’t so hard to hide with a toddler who’s fickle but it’s harder and harder as the kid grows. Which is why the family becomes very secluded over time.

Gabriel always keeps distance with his “son”. He’s not Dad, he’s Father, he doesn’t do hugs and cuddles, he doesn’t say I love you. But Adrien knows he loves him because his mom told him so and he loves him back unconditionally because Mom said that’s what families do.

Now even though Gabriel is traumatized by this whole ordeal and knowing Adrien “isn’t real” freaks him out he does soften a bit over time. I’m going to give an awful example but like someone who hates cats softening for a cat that their partner/roommate decided to get/had from before. Continuing with this example: But still becoming appalled when the cat starts acting odd/unusually.

Okay I think you get the gist. Let’s move on…

Emilie loves her son more and more as he grows and his sentimonster behaviours start bothering her more and more too. She hates being reminded that he’s not a real boy by people mentioning he looks young for his age because Emilie forgot to make him grow for a while. She hates when he does everything like he’s told. She hates that he has no real friends because they’re afraid to expose him to the outside too much and without supervision. She hates to think about his future.

Her desire for him to be real keeps growing and is what drives her to search for a solution in the miraculous spellbook.

She cracks the script after years, when Adrien is nearly a teen, and finds a way to transfer the creators soul into a sentimonster.

It’s a long process that takes time and while she falls ill to everyone around her, Adrien becomes more real.

Gabriel starts realizing what’s happening when he notices Adrien hesitate for a second when he’s playing a video game and Gabriel wants him to do something, groan when he gets bothered watching TV, huff, complain, have slightly opposing opinions to his and Emilie’s, when he argues with his mother when she tells him she’s feeling fine; when he notices his son’s eyes are greener. Or is it all in his head?

He confronts his wife too late, when she’s extremely ill already, her normally vibrant eyes dulled match Adrien’s bluish gray, and he pieces together in his head what she’s doing.

Before Gabriel could properly think what to do to stop the love of his life from turning into a lifeless doll, in a fit of panic he tries to take her wedding band (where he knows Adrien’s amok is) to get rid of Adrien instead, but is unsuccessful in getting it off her so he snatches her peacock brooch instead (which she needs to complete the spell obvs) and breaks it. (Heyoo! broken peacock miraculous. things are coming together)

Because the spell was almost complete anyway it’s Emilie who falls unconscious. But she doesn’t disappear because she’s not a real sentimonster, she just becomes dormant like one.

This is the point in the story where Gabriel makes it seem like Emilie ran away or something like that—basically disappear. Now he’s living knowing he has an almost sentimonster wife in the basement, knowing he almost killed his son (or her), and having to care for a son that suddenly became much more alive, questioning, arguing, angry, screaming, not accepting, crying, grieving, staring at him with Emilie’s eyes.

Instead of becoming a real parent, Gabriel shuts him out.

Soon Adrien evolves desires for socializing, company, getting away from the suffocating home which eventually leads to him going to a public school.

He slowly starts to live life freely without the restrictions that were put around his thoughts.

Gabriel has an even stranger relationship with Adrien now because he still loves him in a way but also holds resentment toward him. But mostly he sees him as something valuable.

The show happens here…  And now finally we get to the comic…

Gabriel gets a hold of the ladybug and black cat miraculouses. (There’s no epic fight in his lair as you see there’s no Ladybug in the comic but that’s not really important)

What’s important is that Gabriel had deciphered the miraculous spellbook with the help of Emilie’s notes and had decided to use the unification’s “wish” power to awaken Emilie.

He’s aware he’ll need to sacrifice something for the wish to come true and he’s certain Adrien should be enough because the soul inside him is literally the one thing Emilie is missing.

✨Adrien (poor boy just lost his miraculous) is taken to Gabriel’s lair, where he finds out his father is Hawk Moth, sees his mother, learns he’s a sentimonster, and that he’s going to become a sacrifice ✨

Of course the last part is not what happens. It’s Gabriel who ends up being sacrificed.

I can’t decide if Gabriel ends up sacrificing himself because he changed his mind in the last moment while Adrien was screaming for him to stop, OR  because he didn’t love Adrien enough for him to be considered an equal exchange for his wife… O.O

But anyhow…

Emilie wakes up with Gabriel’s soul within her (hence the bluish gray eyes in the comic).

Adrien is traumatized for life.

This took me hours to write… I knew there was a reason why I didn’t want to do it. I hope I didn’t forget anything and my brain made sense of it all

Well there you have it, peeps. The Pinocchio AU. It’s as messed up as my sleep schedule. Good night. 

#and they all lived happily ever after. the end #ml #miraculous ladybug #sentimonster adrien theory #sentimonster!adrien #adrien agreste #emilie agreste #gabriel agreste #pinocchio au #answered #my art

[tartglias]

Xiao, Zhongli and Venti with an immortal s/o

“Sooo 👀 can i request so some fluff hc for venti, xiao and zhongli with an immortal s/o?”

thank you so much for requesting!! this is my first time writing for more than one character at a time so it was a challenge lol thank you sm!!

Xiao

Xiao never understood the importance of time. Days, months, even years feel like nothing when you’re immortal. What a funny thing that is, immortality. He knows normal humans would do anything for it, and he despises them for that. Nothing so great came free, he knew that well. He was freed from tortures, only to get tormented by karma. He could still hear the voices and screams calling for help from tortured souls, these still haunt him daily. But the worst moments come when he sees that figure, that person who he once considered close. So close he could use the human word “soulmate”, if he believed in those, to describe who that person meant to him.

Many centuries back he met you, such a gentle person who got to break down his hard walls. A smile, a touch, a kiss. That’s all it took. So many meaningless years, and he never once encountered a person as kind yet strong like you. Someone who made the daily nightmares cease, with a simple smile and brush of fingers.

He remembers your last words like it was the day before. You were on top of one of the tall stones in Huaguang Stone Forest, Xiao laying his head on your lap and you placing small qingxin flowers on his hair. He wouldn’t allow anyone do that to him ever, but in the end, you were you. And you were different.

“Xiao” you called, once you were done placing the flowers. He opened his eyes and muttered a “hm?” in response. “I have to leave soon. Mondstadt calls me”

He sat up.

“What do you mean?”

“By tomorrow morning, I’ll be on my way back to Mondstadt” you said, quietly standing up.

He stood up too.

“When will I see you again?” he asked, now not being able to look at you.

“I don’t know” you said, reaching out for his hand and taking it. You placed a soft kiss on his knuckles, and he felt himself calm down at the gesture for a moment.

“I meant it when I said I’ll love you forever, Xiao” you said, finally locking eyes with him. You had teary eyes, he dreaded to see you like that. If it were up to him, he would swallow every bit of pain in your body and soul, just to see you smile.

And with that, you disappeared. As quickly as you broke down his walls, you disappeared just as quick the next day. Days, months and years became even more meaningless, but somehow he felt them longer. He missed you every day, he whispered to the moon every night, wishing that some archon would hear and bring you back to him. He knew you were like him, but he never heard from you again. Were you able to finally cross to the other side? He tried to erase those thoughts from his mind.

He later found himself in that very same stone, the one in which he last saw you. New Qingxin flowers blossomed, and they reminded him of you. He sat down, staring at the horizon. But then, he felt a strange swift of wind, and a presence behind him. He quickly stood up, ready to put his mask on and kill whoever dared to interrupt his solitude. But he didn’t. The mask in his hand dropped to the floor, next to the flowers.

“I’m back” you said, with a shy smile.

“You’re back” he said, more to himself than to you. Were you really there?

His question was soon answered, once you stepped closer and pulled him in a hug. He found himself wrapping his arms around you, holding you as close as he could, while trying to hold back his tears.

“I’m sorry I took so long, my beloved” you said as you locked your eyes with his. You grabbed his hand and held it, but you never once let go of the hug.

“I’m here to stay now” you whispered.

Zhongli

“You need to stop playing with people’s hearts” Zhongli said, as he sipped on his tea and looked at you questioningly. You rolled your eyes in response and put your focus back on your potion. A few petals from the most exotic flower in Teyvat, a little bit of juice made from vines and a teaspoon of slime condensate.

“Sometimes mortals need a little push in the right direction” You said, finishing up the mix and transferring it to a small bottle made of glass. “Plus, we’ve been here for centuries, I’m bored and I need a hobby”

“I don’t think that messing with human’s love lives can be considered a hobby. I don’t think it’s morally correct” he said.

“You’re very dramatic. I can feel the true desires of every being that touches the soil in Teyvat, and if I sense that the desire is mutual, I simply work my magic” You said, sitting back on your chair next to the tall man.

“Can’t you let them figure it out by themselves?” He asked.

“That’s no fun Zhongli” You said, finishing up the sweet perfume-potion you were creating.

You and Zhongli have been friends for centuries. You met when you moved to Liyue as the representative of the Dendro Archon, someone you really looked up to. Zhongli was kind enough to make you feel at home, and soon became friends with the Geo Archon. Though you must admit, you always wished it was something more.

Maybe that’s why you picked up this “hobby” of yours. Unrequited love is something painful and mortals only live a short life, you believe they should live it fully, if possible.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asked, interrupting your thoughts with a concerned look on his face. You didn’t realize you had a sad look on yours.

“Oh? Yeah of course” You said, quickly brushing it off and proceeding decorating the small glass bottle.

“Y/n-“ he started, placing a hand on top of yours in order to get your attention. “I’ve known you for a long time. I know when something is wrong”

It was funny. He knew you like the back of his hand, he knew how to read you since the first time he laid his eyes on you. Yet he never found out how you truly felt about him, how your heart made like a million flips whenever he did something as simple as hold your hand, or brush a hair away from your face. All these little things and gestures, have been making you swoon over your closest friend for years, centuries even.

“Time and love are strange concepts, aren’t they?” You asked, looking straight at him. Here goes nothing, you thought.

“I believe those are rather simple concepts”

“You can spend a lifetime with someone, know every habit and expression but you don’t know how they truly feel about you” You said staring at him, searching for any hint that indicated he knew what you were talking about. But you saw nothing. Who were you kidding? He’s just your friend, has been for a long time.

You let out a defeated laugh, standing up and letting go of his hand. “Forgive me, I don’t really know what i’m saying” you said, grabbing the potion and starting to leave. But you felt his hand on your wrist, stopping your movements.

“You said you felt the desires of every being that stepped foot on Teyvat’s soil, am I right?” he asked, looking at you. You nodded. “Does it work on me?”

“You wanted to get close to me, as a friend”

“My apologies my dearest y/n, but I think your blessing is wrong” he said, standing up and holding your hand once again. “I did want to get closer to you as a friend at first, but not any longer. I’ve been observing mortals for a while as well, on my daily walks through Liyue Harbor, and I think I finally understood my feelings”

You were sure that if Zhongli listened close enough, he would hear the fast beating of your heart.

“I’ve been waiting for you to use your love potion on me, my dear y/n. I’m sure it wouldn’t have worked anyways since I believe it would take a lot of effort to make an effective potion that could work on me. But it would have given me the excuse to tell you how I really feel” he said.

“How do you feel then?” you asked him, looking up at the tall man.

“I think I’m very lucky to have you by my side, and it makes me want to travel to the Dendro nation and personally thank the Archon for assigning you to Liyue. I also want you to still be by my side for the centuries to come, if you’re okay with that” he said, lowering his voice by the end.

You acted before you could process your thoughts. You stood on your tippy toes and kissed his cheek gently, never letting go of his hand. He liked you, he felt the same way about you. It was real.

“I’m okay with that” you replied.

Venti

It was almost noon, almost an hour after the original time you accorded with Venti to meet. You planned a picnic date by the big tree near the statue of the Seven, your favorite spot. The same spot which later, became Venti’s favorite spot as well.

He wasn’t a person who would jump straight to conclusions. You were late. Maybe you fell asleep, maybe you couldn’t find the guitar you promised to bring so you could play a duet. Being late doesn’t mean something bad happened, right?”

He decided to wait a few more moments, but once the sun set, he had enough. He went out to try and find you. He went to your house, but noticed the door was locked and no one was inside. “They left” he thought.

He slowly but surely started to get desperate. Where were you? Were you hurt? Did you get lost somehow? He went to Angel’s Share, and not even Master Diluc had seen you. If Venti wasn’t in such a panicked state, he would have noticed the rare concerned and worried look Diluc had on his face.

If any traveler walked by literally any road in Mondstadt, they would soon encounter a big rush of wind. Venti went from here to there as fast as he could, trying to find you.

He soon enough found you in Stormbearer Mountains, fighting hilichurls and two pyro mages. You looked tired, sweat covering your body and your clothes were dirty. It was obvious that this has been going on for a while. You gripped your sword as hard as you could, and kept fighting. Why didn’t you call for him? With no exception, Venti tells you daily to call for him if you ever encounter a problem. It’s not that he doesn’t think you’re strong, oh no, he believed you were the strongest mortal in Teyvat. But in the end, to him you were still a mortal. Fragile and over-sensitive. He often told you to call his name, that the wind will carry it and he will appear there to help you out. So why didn’t you?

“y/n!” he screamed, once he laid his eyes on you. You turned around and saw a rush on wind, and felt his presence. What you didn’t feel though, was the pyro attack coming from one of the mages. The mage summoned three pyro artifacts that surrounded you, and burnt you. You felt your energy slip away, your head dizzy and your body burning. Then, you felt the cold wind, Venti quickly finishing off the mages and the remaining hilichurls.

Venti thought it was over. You were kneeled down, burnt skin, gasping for air. It was over, you were going to die. He felt his eyes water and fear running through his veins. He wrapped his arms around you, making you lean on his chest.

“Don’t leave me” he begged. “please”

“My dear, I don’t think I can” you said, letting out a short laugh.

“Please stay strong, I think I can carry you to the cathedral but you need to hold very still so-“ he started saying, now fully crying but you interrupted him by putting a hand on his cheek and wiping his tears with your thumb.

“I’m serious, I don’t think I can leave anyways. Venti, I literally can’t die.” you said, with a laugh and slowly standing up.

“You... you’re immortal?” he asked, looking up at you, not being able to leave the floor.

You nodded. “I thought you knew”

“I hate you” he said, standing up and wiping away his tears. “I do”

“No you don’t. But you’re cute though!” you said, grabbing his face and kissing the tip of his nose. “I’m very sorry I’m late though, my commission took longer than I thought but let me compensate you with dinner and a bottle of wine”

“But you’re still burnt?” he asked you, concern still in his face.

“Oh don’t worry about that, it will rip out when I start walking. I have healthy skin underneath” you said, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Why do I feel like this is not your first time getting so hurt?” he asked letting out a soft chuckle, suddenly feeling lighter now that he knows you’re okay and will probably be okay for a long long while.

“Eh, been there done that a few times” you simply said, taking his hand and walking back to the city of Mondstadt.

#xiao x reader #venti x reader #zhongli x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact headcanons #xiao imagines #xiao scenarios #venti imagines #venti scenarios #xiao headcanons #venti headcanons #zhongli scenarios #zhongli headcanons #zhongli imagines

[prof-redactedverse]

what's sweeter than baking with a sweet werewolf bf

summary: when babe mentions wanting to bake more, asher encourages them by offering to be their baking assistant in the kitchen and eating whatever they make. do they finish anything before they start making out on the kitchen counter????? questionable.

asher/babe domestic baking fluff for the soul (with a little spice)

~ click here to read on ao3 ~

It was a rare Saturday in the Asher/Babe household where the two of them were home at the same time. Asher didn’t have any pack obligations to take care of, and Babe didn’t have any errands to run that they would usually let pile up over the week. When he woke up with them still clinging to him and fast asleep, he was surprised and let out a happy sigh. Normally, one of them would have to wake up earlier than the other, making sleepy morning cuddling a rare occurrence. After taking a breakfast run, they had settled into the couch with their food, when Babe managed to persuade Asher to try watching a couple of episodes of the Great British Bake Off.

“I’m glad we got food first. Seeing all these cookies is making me hungry again.” He said, watching one of the contestants meticulously put their cookies into the presentation they had planned out.

“God, right? They look so good. I wish I had time to bake more, so maybe I could try something like that one day.”

“Baaabe, you never told me you wanted to take baking more seriously! I mean, you’ve made a couple of things, but they’ve only been for special occasions.”

“Yeah, that’s literally the only time I can find to do it. You know how busy work keeps me.”

“Well, why don’t we make that a thing that we do sometimes? Like baking date nights or something?”

“Really? You would want to do that?”

“Of course. I like doing anything with you, but adding sweets into the mix makes it even better. I know you don’t really like having anyone else in the kitchen while you’re doing your thing, so I’ll just be on standby if you need any help. How does that sound?” They looked up at him with wide eyes, then gave him a loving kiss.

“I don’t offer my expert services for free, though. It’s gonna cost ya.”

“Not even for me?” They said, giving him their best pouty face.

“Nope, not even for you. Sorry, babe.”

“Name your price.”

“Umm…at least three kisses per hour and free access to taste anything you make, baked or unbaked.”

“Hmm, I suppose that seems reasonable.” They gave him their hand to shake. “You’ve got a deal, sir.” Asher shook their hand, then took the opportunity to gently pull them into him with a smile.

“So, it seems that my contract goes into effect immediately. You might want to get started on your payment there, babe.” They got up from their seat next to him to straddle his hips and gently run one of their hands up and down his arm in the way they know he likes. It made them smile to see him shiver a little.

“Oh gladly.” They said before crashing their lips into his, the show playing on the TV in front of them long forgotten.

----------

“I’m home! I’m home.” Asher almost yelled as he opened the front door to their apartment a little too forcefully, causing it to slam against the wall. Babe was in the kitchen, and the sound made them jump and let out a surprised yell. He peeled off the outer layer of his work clothes and made his way to the kitchen, where he wrapped his arms around his mate’s waist. He covered their cheek and neck in kisses and apologized after each one.

“What are you apologizing for? Scaring the shit out of me? Because that’s new.”

“Well, partially yes because this time it wasn’t intentional, but I’m mainly apologizing for being late for our first baking date night. The event ran a little late and then traffic was a mess.”

“It’s okay, love. You’re not that late. I was just getting all the ingredients and stuff out anyway, so you didn’t miss anything. Now you gotta let go, so I can actually start this.”

“You got it, babe.” He said, unwrapping his arms from them. “Oh, wait! Before you start! I have something for you! Or I guess technically for both of us. I’ll be right back.” Asher disappeared into their bedroom, then came back to the kitchen with a box covered in cupcake wrapping paper. He held it out to them. “Open this first!”

They decided not to comment on his…acceptable…wrapping job as they took the box from him, and ripped it off.

“Ash! No way, what are these?” They pulled out two aprons with curly lettering that read Head Chef and Sous Chef.

“Since we’re gonna be in the kitchen more often, what could we need more than a set of aprons? So the fun thing about these is that we could switch them depending on who's doing the cooking. Like if you’re baking, you’ll be the head chef, but if I’m grilling I’ll have it on.” When they looked back up at Asher, he looked proud of himself, but he was clearly waiting on their reaction to get confirmation that he had made the right choice.

“Baby, this is so cute. I love it.”

“I knew you would like it!” He picked them up in a big hug and spun them around. “Okay, I won’t hold you up anymore. Let’s get to the baking part, so I can get to tasting already.” He said, putting them back down on the kitchen floor. They put the head chef's apron over their head and turned around.

“Hey Ash, could you tie my apron in the back?”

“Of cooourse.” Asher took the strings and tied them in the shape of a bow. “There! Now, you look even cuter, babe.” He punctuated his sentence with a kiss on the top of their head.

“Th-thank you…um… Time to start the recipe!”

In the beginning, Asher was content with watching his mate flitter about the kitchen from afar, measuring things, combining and mixing (or was it whisking?) different ingredients together. This didn’t last long. He started to get bored and made his way closer to the kitchen, trying to see if they needed any help. They were too focused on the task at hand to notice. Asher saw that the bowl of cookie dough was left unattended, then picked up the wooden spoon that was left in it and licked off the leftover dough.

“Asher, what are you doing over there?” They said, without turning their attention from their own bowl in front of them. Their voice startled him, and he froze like he had been caught red-handed.

“I’m sorry, babe. The cookie dough was calling to me. I couldn’t resist.”

“Just please make sure to leave enough to actually put some cookies in the oven, alright?”

“You got it, boss!”

Later on, they called Asher back over to help frost the cookies after they had cooled.

“So you’ve got free rein, and you can just frost them however you want. This is kind of a test run, because I want to see how they taste and if I got the flavors right and stuff.”

“Talking like that, you sound like a real professional,” he said, running a finger along the side of the frosting bowl.

“I didn’t say anything that complicated… Hey, get your fingers out of there! We actually need that. I didn’t make any extra frosting.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll offer my services to help make more when we run out.”

“We won’t run out if you listen to me and stop eating it straight from the bowl.”

“Oh no, I think we still might.” He took advantage of the fact that they were back in focus mode to swipe some frosting on their shoulder. They broke their focus to look at their arm.

“Wh- how’d frosting get on my arm?”

“I dunno, babe. Here, let me help clean that up.”

“Thank you. Wait, Asher, what are y-” Before they could finish their sentence, he was pressing his tongue flat onto their skin, cleanly licking the frosting off and finishing it off with a soft peck on their shoulder.

“There, all good.”

“Th- that’s not what I-” They inhaled sharply as Asher swiped some more frosting on their cheek, their neck, and then their collarbone. He dragged his tongue up from their chest, to their neck, causing their eyes to close and their head to fall back. Finally, he licked the frosting off their cheek and gave that a kiss too.

“Oh god.” They breathed out, wondering why they had thought the night would stay at some level of wholesome. Asher got more frosting on his finger and brought it up to their mouth. “You want a taste, too? It’s not fair that I get to have all the fun.”

They took his finger in their mouth and sucked in, swirling their tongue around it to taste the sweet buttercream frosting they had made.

“Mmm… I think I did a good job with the frosting, huh?” Asher closed the distance between them until they felt the cold of the kitchen counter against the small of their back.

“Oh, you did a great job, baby.” He then lifted them by the hips and set them on top of the counter, haphazardly shoving the baking materials to the side.

His touch made them let out a giggle before bringing their hands to his face to get a hold of his cheeks. They felt a warmth rise in their chest as they held his gaze. If it was possible to have heart eyes in real life, they thought to themselves that this must be what it would feel like. It was impossible to not plant a kiss on his lips when they were pulled into that dorky smile he always had on his face. Soon the only sound in the kitchen was the sound of their lips pressing together as they fell into their familiar rhythm of sharing soft and sweet kisses between them.

“Mmm…you’re such a bad influence,” they said in a low voice when they pulled away. “We need to finish this.”

“Aw, you always say that, but you never try to stop me.” Asher laughed as they rolled their eyes. “Come oooon! You know it’s true.”

“Well, it’s not a fair fight when you know all my weaknesses.”

“I’m beginning to think your weakness is just me, babe.” They rested their arms on his shoulders and gave him a straight face.

“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement. Now, I’m putting my foot down. I want to actually eat these tonight, and I know you do too.” Asher gave them one more kiss with a loud MWAH before letting them hop off the counter.

“See, you know my weaknesses, too: food…and you.”

#testing crossposting my writing here too [eyes emoji] #i would like to simply contribute to the catalog of asher content wherever i can because he deserves it <333 #redacted asmr #redacted asher #redacted babe #dani's writing tag

[needleandhammer]

From Simmer to Score

Pairing: Soft!Curtis Everett x Reader

Summary: Curtis is good with his hands. And other stuff.

Warnings: 18+ only, explicit, smut, oral sex, penetration, fingering, dub con breeding, unprotected sex, breeding kink sort of, size kink, petite!reader, Curtis' fingers

Word count: 4k

A/N: This doesn't really fit the prompt i chose from @stargazingfangirl18 's 5k Soft Dark Challenge: "You hire a local handyman to help you with a few home projects." But the prompt still inspired this. I wanted to take the prompt somewhere more explicitly dark but once again my contribution to this challenge turned marshmallow soft. This is an au, non-apocalypse au, normal life au, idk. Just self-indulgent. Also, it was a struggle finding a gif of clean Curtis. Because he's clean in this and not living on a train, i swear.

“Try again. Very good. Let’s have you run through the exercises and then we’ll take a look at the new homework."

At your smile, the little girl nods and quickly turns to concentrate on coordinating her footwork on the pedals of your old Altenberg while reading the notes in front of her.

You back away, heading to the kitchen for some iced tea. You nearly forget your other guest who sits at the table.

This is the third time he’s accompanied Wendy for her lessons. For a man of his size, Curtis makes no sound except the faint swish of pages turning in his book. Like before, he arrived with Wendy, nodded a greeting at you, waited for your invitation to the kitchen, and then spent the entire hour silently reading.

You pull the fridge door open and pour tea into three glasses. You quietly slide one towards him. Curtis’ eyes flicker up to you, brilliantly blue, and he gives you a low murmur.

“Thanks.”

You’re about to return to Wendy when you hear your name in Curtis’ smooth baritone.

He nods to the notepad left on the table. “I, uh, noticed your reminder to call for maintenance. Something wrong?”

“Oh.” You tidy up the table, sheepish at being caught procrastinating house chores. “Just needed a second look at the water heater. The repair company came by and we tested things out when they were done, but the next day I had no hot water.”

You grimace, thinking of taking another cold shower.

“If you’re okay with it, I can grab my tool bag from my car and take a look,” he says.

You’re not prepared for the offer. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

He shakes his head, no hesitance. “I don’t mind at all. As long as you don’t.”

“I mean. I-I would really appreciate the help.”

Your time with Wendy ends after you review practice goals with her until her next lesson.

Curtis joins you two. “Hot water is running again.”

Your jaw drops and you skip to the kitchen. Hot water pours out of your faucet. You return, unable to resist grinning widely at him.

“Thank you, Curtis. You’re a lifesaver.”

“Curtis taught my dad everything about fixing houses!” Wendy chirped. He offers her a crooked smile.

“Do you have everything?” you ask your young pupil.

While Wendy thanks you and you help her pack, Curtis watches on with a faint curve to his lips.

“Edgar’s changing over to late shifts for the next couple of months. I’ll probably be driving Wendy to lessons again.”

You nod. “Sounds good. See you both then.”

After they leave, you enjoy a glorious steamy shower and then you settle onto your couch with a plate of leftover grilled veggies and fish.

Reviewing your schedule, you consider taking on one or two more students. It was years ago that you gave private lessons to help pay for college. Nearly a decade of moving between a few jobs, you are now in a quiet suburb working with a team of digital designers. The job allows you to work from home half the week, a flexibility you take great appreciation in. The professional stability encouraged you to return to music and to helping others develop their musical interests.

Wendy is your only student at the moment as you want to ease into taking on this additional responsibility. You smile, recalling your initial meeting with Wendy and her father, Edgar. Her father’s bubbly energy is such a stark contrast to Curtis. Edgar opened up quickly, sharing that he and Wendy’s mother were no longer together, that he would support whatever Wendy wanted to do. There was a perpetually youthful vigor to the room when Edgar was present.

Wendy calls Curtis, Uncle, and his adoration for her is clear. He barely said two words when he was here the first time. It doesn’t bother you. You get the impression Curtis purposely tries to not draw attention to himself, and you can empathize with that preference for tranquility.

_ _ _ _

It’s a windy day, heavy with rain clouds, the next time Wendy and Curtis are over.

“I saw your screen door was down. Planning on replacing it?” Curtis asks when you wrap up with Wendy.

“Nah. I was just going to look up what I would need and try fixing it myself.”

“It’s kind of heavy.”

His tone doesn’t imply any skepticism aimed at you and you’re not offended. You’re used to people calling you ‘small,’ though you’re not small so much as you’re short. You like to think you take up ample space. You also admit strength is not something you have in abundance. Your whole life you relied on family and friends for a lot of literal heavy lifting. But Curtis already helped you out once.

“I could fix it up.”

“I won’t ask you to do that.”

“It’s no bother, really. I’m happy to help out.”

He promises to be quick about it. While he works, Wendy happily practices on your piano.

“I have Oreos,” you announce.

She pauses to grab a cookie. “Thank you so much for letting me practice longer.”

“Of course, dear.”

She chats a bit about her upcoming birthday plans, as children are wont to do.

Curtis pops his head in. “All set. Do you want to take a look?”

You follow him out back. Swinging the screen door on its hinges, you nodded appraisingly.

“I suppose it passes inspection.” You look up with a cheeky smile, pleased to see Curtis’ lips twitching. “Thank you. Really, Curtis. I do wish you’d let me pay you.”

He shakes his head. “It’s nothing. Besides, you’re great with Wendy. I’m grateful for that.”

You can tell he loves Wendy just as much as if he was her father. “In that case, I shall give Wendy her next lesson for free.”

He blinks at you, trailing behind as you make your way inside and calling out to Wendy.

Curtis has resigned himself to a quiet, bare life. He doesn't think he wants anything much. He has Edgar’s loyalty, a result of the brotherhood he formed in his impoverished teen years. They survived together, looked out for each other. Once Wendy came along like a little star burning in a smoggy midnight, Curtis counted himself lucky to witness the little girl growing up. A chance to help nourish one seed.

The first time he arrived with Wendy at your home, Curtis couldn’t help listening in on the entire lesson, making no progress in his book. Your clear voice, your generous encouragement. You, light on your feet moving so swiftly. You, barely reaching his shoulders yet mighty in spirit, curvy and sensuous. Curtis had an urge to lift you in his palms to be stored safely in his pocket.

_ _ _ _

And so things follow. Wendy diligently learning and Curtis primarily accompanying her, taking his place at your kitchen table. You come to enjoy his steady, grounding presence just a couple steps away from you and Wendy.

Now and then, he’ll notice some upkeep you’re doing – a leaky faucet, a box of new light bulbs on your counter – and volunteer his assistance. You are reluctant to put him to work, sure that he spends enough of his days working and doing chores in his own home and besides these are tasks you can handle even if you find them tedious. Curtis is always gentle in his offers, always obtains your permission first. As time goes by and you grow less shy about accepting his help and he grows more comfortable in your space, you realize working with his hands is second nature to Curtis.

It doesn't take long for Curtis to admit to himself he wants to be near you.

Curtis doesn’t meddle. He doesn’t mingle. He doesn’t have any interest in widening his social circle. He is aware you thrived on your own for a long time, just like him; and like he has Edgar and Wendy, you have a small close-knit group of friends. Lending a hand to you doesn’t count because you are like him.

Maybe this is why he lets his guard down under your roof. There is something kindred in your calm nature that his soul responds to. Under your roof, no silences need to be filled; no pretenses forced upon him. Your invitation to rest is unspoken – he hears it and almost weeps. The more time he spends with you, like two wavelengths in tune, the stronger his urge to insert himself. To fix, or in some way leave his mark on your home. Curtis doesn’t have any interest in widening his social circle. Lending a hand to you didn't count. Until he cannot help it. He doesn’t reach out for you, doesn’t try to prove you’ll curve perfectly within his arms; but he’ll ensure your softness can curl up in a sturdy home and delight in simple pleasures.

One evening, when Edgar works later than usual, you ask if Wendy and Curtis would join you for dinner.

“Nothing fancy. I have some noodle soup and salad. Curtis, can you call Edgar to meet us here?”

Wendy sets the table. Curtis assists with the food.

He’s quick to cup your hand in his when it's nicked with a knife. You can’t help leaning into him as he runs your finger under water, wraps it in clean paper towel. He finishes with the salad, making you sit at the table.

Edgar joins you all, tired but quickly gaining energy with food and a few sips of wine. You are full and warmed by their company. While Edgar cheers on Wendy while she practices from her book, you feel Curtis’ fingers curl over your hand. His thumb brushes over your cut. You share a smile with him.

_ _ _ _

You settle into your little Toyota only to find it won’t start. It stumps you because you never had issues with this car before. You have no experience with car maintenance and don’t know the first thing to check for an engine that won’t wake.

Calling Curtis to see if you can reschedule, he insists that he can swing by to pick you up.

He had called you, his voice almost shy. He wanted to surprise Wendy for her birthday with a piano and asked for your help.

You direct Curtis to the string instruments shop in the city’s downtown area. The two of you are greeted by a sales staff upon entry. When asked, Curtis looks to you, wordless, so you do your best to describe to the salesperson what you're looking for.

There are several options of acoustic and digital instruments. You give little demonstrations on a few pianos that you consider reasonably priced.

“Curtis, check this one out.” Your hold on his sleeve is loose and propels him towards one of the upright Baldwin pianos.

“I think any of these would suit Wendy. The sounds are clear, and they don’t take up too much space. The salesperson said this one is second-hand and it’s in really good shape.” You press a few chords, then look up at Curtis with a smile.

He looks at you, gaze gentle. “I’m not worried about price. I’ll take whatever you recommend.”

That was his general response when you asked his opinion during your time in the shop: he was up for anything you recommended. Other than that, he trailed behind you so that the salesperson assumed you were the primary purchaser. Much like in your house, Curtis seemed to try hard to not draw attention. Oddly, you didn’t think anyone in the same room with him could help noticing him. Even with the dark apparel he favored, Curtis’ reserved nature can't hide all the intensity and strength just thrumming beneath the surface of his tall imposing build.

You convince him to sit beside you on the bench. He’s never played before, but humors you and tries random combinations of thirds with you. You watch his hands – clean, wide, with thick fingers – hover and slide along the keys.

He nudges you.

“Sorry. I was just impressed your sausage fingers are quite nimble.”

A half-hearted glare. “Thank you. For coming with me.”

“If I say you’re welcome, will you take a look at my car when we get back?”

He stays for dinner.

It starts raining and you have to rush out to gather hanging linens. He helps and you both run back inside. You're giddy at his eagerness to assist, resulting in damp clothing on you both.

“Oh, let’s dump it here. I’ll fold it tomorrow.” You are happy to leave the laundry in a pile on an armchair, in too good of a mood to care.

You catch him with his attention on you, a look so soft you have to look away, walk blindly a few steps. His touch is on your arm, turning you around just as you reach the piano.

He dips his head low to press chapped lips to yours, capturing your lips more, closing in to envelope you in his heat.

Curtis’ hands grip your hips with a quick jostle against the piano, prompting a slur of bright notes ringing from the keyboard that you are pressed against. And then he’s hitching you further up and firmly in his arms. His tongue licks against yours. You slant your open mouth, inviting him to taste, to devour you from the inside out. Your legs wrap around his waist like you belong there, tethered to this point in time. There’s no past or future, only Curtis, only feeling safe and real in his arms now now now.

You barely register Curtis moving, tipping you onto the couch cushions to hover over you so close. You can’t remember burning for someone like this. You can’t remember much of anything, focused on Curtis, solid and unyielding between your thighs, muscles buzzing with raw strength.

You want so badly to know more of him. Your hands wander shamelessly under his shirt, sliding up his wide back, grazing under to squeeze appreciatively at his pecs only to be called south by a narrowing of hair that leads you on until you bump his belt buckle.

You’re distracted by the tease of hot kisses he drops along your neck. There’s something sweet, vulnerable in how you allow him access to the delicate skin there. It makes Curtis bury his nose against the crook of your jaw, a long moment for him to whisper something like a prayer, before his tongue swirls and he nibbles your ear lobe. Your high pitched gasp hastens his desire. Your shirt is gone. Your bra untangled from your arms. Your breasts, oh, Curtis takes a mouthful of one fleshy breast, sucking greedily when you moan, breathless and aching now.

You claw at his shirt until it too disappears. You wriggle to help Curtis pull your pants and underwear off. Your legs want to yank him back to you, but he braces himself to allow just a bit more space between you both than before.

“Let me.” It’s almost a growl, and you want to say yes, but you want to kiss him more. You’re clinging by his neck, drinking from his soft lips, until you both part to draw breath.

His hand caresses your cheek, sliding over to slip two fingers into your slack mouth. Your tongue swipes at them, lips close to suck them in, eager to touch and taste any part of him. Jaw tight, Curtis pulls his fingers away and down. Down. His hand spans large over your curves and you hold your breath, grit your teeth. One finger saturated with saliva, sinks into your cunt. You swear you can feel more arousal dripping from you to soak his hand and he adds another finger, drawing short whimpers from you as his fingers withdraw and plunge in. God, you won’t ever tease him about his fingers again because they’re perfect. Agonizing in their quest to undo you.

His voice is husky groans, wanting so bad to feel your oh so tight cunt around his cock. Soon.

He tortures you, adds a third finger. You’re riding them, whimpering as he pumps them in you and parts the digits to stretch you. His weight slides away and you can only grasp at his hair, you’re barely glimpsing his head between your legs before you arch high when his thick wet tongue swirls and licks your folds, dialing up the white hot blooming inside you. His fingers curl just enough inside to press that patch against your pelvis that strings you tight as a bow. Pressing insistently, scratching with finger pads, until you burst and all you can do is chase more of that pulsing pleasure, humping against his face. Your hips quiver while Curtis laps at your slit.

His sucks grow gentle, thumb teasing your bud, helping you come down from the intense high.

You sigh his name.

“I’m here.”

“I want you.”

His arms wind around you, holding you tight while he kisses you. You can’t remember feeling anything better than being cradled like this as Curtis languidly kisses you.

He’s not rushed to move from you, so you cling to him and he loves you for it. Yes, he’s hard, but he wants to savor this. Already high on the sensation of your soft flesh underneath him, your thick thighs tight at his waist, your quiet hums of pleasure the evidence of his thorough work.

He ran from his past, from early years strife with despair, washing away those memories like dust and grime. He thought his life of isolation was one that moved him forward; but he has been stuck all this time.

Seeing you care for Wendy, Curtis realized he wanted that. He wanted what his friend had. He wanted you, and the precious something conceived between two souls that sing for one another. Soon. He’ll make your sweet little body his to protect, to warm through the nights.

_ _ _ _

“Thanks so much for having us for dinner,” Edgar says. He was been watching Wendy run around your humble backyard, chasing butterflies and searching for little frogs. He turns to you with a toothy grin. “And for your help with the gift. Wendy’s going to flip. I’m lucky to have you and Curtis both around.”

Your smile is just as affectionate. “Happy to have you here. Although,” your smile turns sly, “I’m a little disappointed that your special lady friend didn’t join us.”

“Curtis,” Edgar mutters under his breath. Curtis is washing dishes at the sink and pays no mind to any half-hearted curses directed at him.

Your brow arches, urging Edgar to talk as he can't help an embarassed grin.

“Well, she was traveling for work, unfortunately. But I know Wendy doesn’t mind her.”

The girl has whispered to you that Edgar’s girlfriend is beautiful and she wished she would become her new mom; this you keep to yourself, not wishing to embarrass or pressure your friend further.

“I’m happy to hear that.”

Edgar’s eyes slide sideways, quiet for a moment before he jumps out of his seat and heads to the door leading to the backyard. “I’ll just…uh…” He exits, trailing off without finishing his sentence.

You sigh and take another bite of your cake, indulging in the moist chocolate flavor. Glancing up, you find Curtis watching you. His attention is singular, a warm simmer in those bright blue eyes, causing you to freeze except for your tongue that finishes sweeping over your upper lip. His gaze narrows, grew weighty, tracking your tongue as it retreats into your mouth. He pushes away from the counter, steps close until he is able to drop to his knee beside your chair. One strong yank has your seat turning so you face him.

The door creaks open again.

“Well, the sun’s getting low so I think we’ll head home and wind down.” Edgar announces with his daughter close at his side. He has a boyish grin on his face, pulling Wendy towards the front of your house. "Wendy, say good bye.”

“Isn’t Curtis leaving too?”

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll leave when he’s ready.”

“Have a good night, you two,” you say, walking with them to the front. Though Edgar is still cheerfully thanking you for the meal and insisting you stay inside and not see them off.

“You go on and just have a good time, both of you.” He sends a wink your way. You shake your head at him. “Curtis! You be a gentleman now.”

Quick as he can, he has Wendy secured in the car and they are on their way.

“Huh.” You lock the front door before turning to find Curtis. You can tell he wants to roll his eyes at Edgar’s antics. Instead, he closes in on you.

“Are you worried about me not being a gentleman?” he murmurs. His fingers hook under yours loosely.

You smirk. “I’m worried about you being too much of a gentleman.”

That smolder returns to his gaze. For a second, your body shivers, overwhelmed and you side step him, if only for a moment’s relief from the heat of his eyes.

You reach out. He takes your hand.

Once you’re down a layer, he grows even hotter seeing the mesh and lace number you have on. A tantalizing tease with the hard peaks of your nipples veiled in barely-there maroon. Just daring him to unwrap you. So he does.

His mouth leaves a wet trail seeking sensitive spots on your neck, you breasts, your thighs. Even as he moves, he still covers nearly all of your body, his heat and weight drowning you in want.

Your shudder has him grazing his beard up the inside of your thigh so that you arch and plea for his touch. God, all your uninhibited responses spur the blazing hunger in him. Curtis peels the mesh underwear down, impatient for a taste of you. His mouth waters, catching wafts of arousal and then he’s sucking and lapping your wet pussy. His rumbling groan is like a physical nudge that bows your back, and you remain rigid in the air at the sensation of his thick tongue pushing into you. Wide shoulders part your legs, shifting until your thighs rest on vast muscles.

You rock against him, keen at the hard sucks. Two fingers dip into, fucking you and rubbing with a dizzying rhythm that brings you over the edge.

With little effort, he holds up your hips and you feel a pillow slide under you to angle you higher. Then his muscled arms hook under your knees and he finally lines up and rocks forward. The tip of his cock parts your folds. Your breath hitches. His cock slides in, forcing your walls to stretch, to mold tightly to his girth.

“Curtis” – your hand was going point to the little bedside table with condoms.

Instead, you’re gripping a blanket. Gasping as he withdraws and your pussy tries to hold him in.

You mumble against his lips, incoherent. “The…inside..”

And then he feeds you his length again. And again, that delicious, addicting friction.

"Yes, inside," he agrees softly. "Like this."

With every pump, the spark catches and blazes higher. Curtis rises onto his knees, thrusts harder, watching your eyes flutter open and shut. He’s panting with the pretty picture of a needy you. He grips your thighs. As if his life depends on how tight he clutches you. Concentrating hard, his eyes drop low. Fuck. He can see your pussy clench, your puffy outer lips suckling his cock. Curtis swears your little body is refusing to give him up, and you’re wet but your cunt squeezes him so tight he has to drive harder into you to avoid slipping out.

You’re not even aware of your breathy moans, so turned on by his groans, the rough thrusts he gives you. There’s no grinding. Curtis can tell he’s rubbed against your g-spot and he keeps his snapping hips angled just right, one callused thumb circling your clit too lightly. And then your breaths stutter, your legs seize, your back arches. Curtis grits his teeth, keeping the exact same pace, draws out the storm of your pleasure. It’s so consuming, you lose your voice.

Just as you are able to breathe again, able to sense the physical realm around you, Curtis speeds up, bucking hard with low grunts, powering into you.

A high gasp – you feel him flood you. He drops to press his chest to you, still pumping his release into your clenching walls; and it’s too much, his cock merciless within your sensitive channel. He can’t help it, even as your legs start writhing with his unrelenting stimulation, even as he hears your hitched whimpers.

He finally stills. His lips find yours, tongue stroking deep.

Long moments later, his name is gentle, falling from your lips. “We didn’t use protection.”

Curtis nuzzles you, rubs his nose along the planes of your cheeks. Returns to suck your bottom lip. “It’s okay,” he whispers.

There’s a soft frown upon your brow that he kisses, and then scatters more kisses on your face.

“But, what if?”

“I want you. I want everything with you.”

You’re barely able to react as he nips hard at your collarbone and then rolls his hips. He’s half-hard inside you. You’re quickly losing yourself in Curtis, overwhelmed by the combination of his hungry mouth on your skin, unyielding clasp on your thigh. His thrusts persist, pins you in place, lights you up and scorches you. You’re right where he wants you, whining for more more more.

Now with each beat of his heart, Curtis has his mind’s eye on the prize. He’ll have you over and over. And you’ll grow a piece of him inside you. You are the way forward. You are his.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Hurrah, this one felt like it took forever. I blame Curtis. He didn't give himself up to me easily. Let me love you, ya broody boi! Thank you for reading!

#curtis everett #curtis everett x reader #smut #fanfic #siris5ksoftdarkchallenge

[chrisevansmaid]

Virginal

Summary: You go to a beach town in search of losing your virginity. The server at dinner is extra cute but it's also young Chris evans.

*this pic is from chris’s twitter*

MUST BE 18+!!!!

I see everyone saying this, so 18+ pleaseeeee. Begoneeeee youngins

Pairing: Chris Evans x female!reader, Young!Chris Evans x minor!reader, (Name inserted but you can switch it to yours)

Word Count: 3393

Perspective: Reader

Warnings: SMUTTT, p in v, mentions of smoking weed / dab pen, oral sex (female receiving), FLUFF AND ANGST, high sex, lowkey rough sex, dirty talk, degrading dirty talk, EXPLICIT sexual content, age gap, minor having sex with non-minor (17F with 20M), 

Authors note: 

FIRST FIC YAY!!!!!! Don't be mean pls <3.

I’m really bad at tenses so if it keeps switching from present to past tense sorry. The only grammar corrector I’m using is grammarly so if something doesn’t make sense oopsie, I’m too lazy from spending a while on this fic to go anal and analyze every sentence for errors. 

Okay so… I’m a pisces which basically means I can never stop daydreaming. Also the backstory is lowkey gonna be my backstory lol. This is how I wished I lost my virginity plus make it Chris evans.

*THIS IS NOT BASED OFF OF CHRIS ITS FULLY FROM MY IMAGINATION* 

Idk I'm bored and it's summer so I have nothing to do. YES THIS IS ABOUT A MINOR BUT IN MY STATE THE AGE OF CONSENT IS 16 SO CHILL.

18+ PLEASE STOP READING NOW IF YOU ARE A MINOR

So I’m a virgin. Not because I am a prude or anything, but it never worked. I like to self diagnose so my conclusion is I have vaginismus. That is basically rolled into my cervix/vagina clenches up whenever I try to have sex so no dick fits in and if anything does fit it's incredibly painful. It's not a matter of being turned on cus I could have Niagara Falls in my panties and it still wouldn’t work, trust me. Even being fingered was awful and I’ve been fingered like 10 times and none of them were enjoyable. My sister says I’m just really tight. Idk. I can finger myself and it's good-ish, I mean how far up can you reach with your own hand? 

But I’ve had enough of being a virgin and I just want someone to blow my back out. Preferably some sexy older guy. And because I’m sick and tired of having an untapped pussy I’ve devised a plan. I am going to the beach in a week or so and I am going to find the guy who I had my first kiss with and have him fuck me. Or some other hot guy I meet. But to make sure my inhibitions are lowered and my vagina doesn’t clench from nerves I am gonna get a little high before. 

1 week later.

My mom, stepdad, and I arrive at the beach and it is so pretty. I love this beach. It brings back so many good memories. I am rooming with my childhood friend, Sarah, and she knows I want to get fucked. We’ve snuck out before and we are so excited for this week. I take a picture of the beach and put it on my Snapchat story with my location tagged. This will let my first kiss know I’m near him so he can hit me up to fuck me. 

The day goes by kinda slow because all I could think of was walking up and down the boardwalk trolling for hot men. Finally, night comes and all the families that are at the beach go to dinner. I was kinda bored but then our server came. He was something else.

“Hi my name’s Chris and I’ll be your server tonight.” Ugh. Even his voice made my whole body warm up. His greenish blue eyes stared into my soul as he took my order. His dirty blonde hair was perfectly quaffed and the way his black shirt hugged his biceps was absolutely sinful. Okay yes, he was probably in his early twenties but who said I was ageist. If anything an older man would know how to fuck a woman better than any stupid high school senior that I would meet. 

I got up to go to the bathroom and saw Chris on my way. We locked eyes and didn't break contact until I went into the bathroom. As I stepped out of the bathroom I saw him again. It looked like he was waiting for me. His body was leaned up against the wall across from the bathroom I had just exited. He stopped me and said “Call me.” and handed me a piece of paper. Before I had a chance to say anything he turned and I was watching his perfect ass walk away. 

I went back to the table as if nothing happened. I don’t think anyone noticed my uncontrollable smile. Throughout the dinner, I could not tear my eyes away from our sexy server. I think Sarah noticed but I was gonna tell her about it when my parents weren’t right there. We finished dinner and all went back to the beach house. When we got back I told Sarah and she was so shook. We were racking our brains on what I should text Chris. I didn’t want to come off too strong but also I wanted this man to fuck me. So we settled on:

“Hey”

Yes. I know it's lame but he’s older defffffinitely older and I can’t act too young. Ugh, I am so scared of his response it's absolutely killing me. Sarah, two other girls that came to the beach, and I decide to go out for ice cream. At least ice cream would take my mind off waiting for a response. As we wait in line I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I pull it out and it’s Chris. 

“I thought I told you to call me” His response is very bold but for some reason, it only intrigues you more. Immensely more. I show Sarah and she smiles. 

“Guess who’s getting her wish tonight.”

“Oh my god,” I respond. “What do I say?” I am literally so scared that he will think I’m too young or too much of a child. 

“Um, don’t say anything. Call him.” Sarah says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

Do I actually call him? I’m literally getting the worst knots in my stomach and now I have to shit and I’m literally so nervous over a phone call. I am not a spontaneous person. AT ALL. 

“Okay, I’m gonna call him.” I say to Sarah after literally pondering this for 5 minutes.

Oh god. This is so scary. I tell Sarah to get me a vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and I step out of the line. I go to the walkway near the ice cream shop away from the crowd so I can hear better. I dial his number and put the phone to my ear.

It rings like 3 times and he picks up.

“Hey.” He says and his voice is even sexier than I remember. 

“Hey.” I literally didn’t know what to say and I am pacing up and down the sidewalk.

“So you must be the hot girl I gave my number to.”

“And you must be the sexy server.” Some wave of confidence came over me and that was the best response I could come up with.

“So what’s your name?”

“Olivia and if I remember correctly, your name is...” I paused to let him fill in the blank

“Chris.” 

“Chris, that's right.” I wanted to come off like I didn’t hang onto every word he said and so I played it off like his name wasn’t already filling my fantasies.

“So Liv, when am I gonna see you again?” He asks and this caught me a little off guard that he would jump straight to the point but I guess why prolong the inevitable.

“I don’t know, when are you free?”

“Can I pick you up tonight around 12?” Ugh yes. My plan was filling out nicely.

“Sounds great.” I mean what else am I supposed to say? 

“Send me where you’ll be and I’ll pick you up then.” His assertive tone was a panty fucking dropper. 

“Okay. See you then Chris.” I’ve picked up from my previous male experiences that if you say a guy's name he’ll be more inclined to fuck you. I mean I totally pulled that out of my ass but I wanted to sound like a confident vixen, not some 17 year old virgin. 

“Bye Liv.” The way he made up a nickname for me had me reddening in my cheeks and warming in my core. I say bye and hang up. As soon as the call ends I’m running back to Sarah and telling her every little detail. Okay, I really needed to get back home and shit. 

Sarah, the other girls, and I go back to the house and hang out for like an hour, and then it’s 11 and all the parents are asleep. I need to start preparing. So I take a phat shit and then shower even though I showered before dinner but I need to wash off my nervous sweats. I shave everywhere and when I get out I lotion my entire body, put on my sexy lingerie, and douse myself with perfume. I do my makeup but it’s simple and of course waterproof. I text Chris the address of the beach house but tell him to pick me up a couple houses down. I tell Sarah she needs to sneak out with me so if we get caught I can pretend me and her were just hanging outside the house. Sarah and I sneak out the back and bring her cart. I take a couple hits to calm myself down because god forbid I tense up before he can get his dick in. It's like 11:55. God my stomach is in knots. 

It’s 12. ‘Oh god’ I think to myself. I see a white range rover pull up at the end of the block. I say bye to Sarah and walk to the car. I see his face. Oh, fuck still sexy. I open his car door and jump into the passenger seat. 

“Hey.” I say

“Hey, Liv.” He says back. Him saying that little nickname he gave me is so much hotter in person. So so so much hotter. I think he knows what it does to me because his lips curl into a smirk. “Let’s go for a drive.” Chris says.

“Okay, I’m down.” I say back and kinda rethinking saying ‘I’m down’ because he is definitely rethinking how old I am.

We start driving around and talking and thank god the radio is on to fill any silence there could be. It’s on the country station and him liking country music is literally another added bonus. Then When it Rains it Pours comes on and I say “Omg I love this song.”

“Really?” He says back. “I’ve never met a girl as pretty as you that actually likes country music.” 

“Are you kidding? I love country music.” I say back not noting he just called me pretty. We mindlessly chat for like 20 minutes and Chris pulls the car into an empty parking lot that overlooks the whole beach town. 

“This is so pretty.” I say in awe of the gorgeous view. I can see from the corner of my eye that Chris is just looking at me.

“Not as good as my view.” He says back in a soft tone that has me melting to the floor of the car. I look back at him and we sit in silence just staring into each other's eyes. I glance at his lips and they look so kissable. They are the perfect amount of plump without being too big. When I look back to his eyes he is still staring at me. His lips almost form a smile and he grabs and cheek and kisses me. It’s even better than each and every one of my fantasies. I grab the back of his neck and kiss him even harder back. Before I know it the kiss gets more rushed and Chris is running his hands along the curve of my back. Our lips are crashing into each others with fervor like no other. He pulls me into his lap and he ruts his hips upward. He takes his left hand and moves the seat back and starts kissing down my neck. His lips leave little bite marks and he reaches my bosoms. He pulls my tank top down and pulls my breasts out of my bra and sucks on my right nipple as he pinches the left. Soft mewls leave my lips and he stops to look at me and the rush of cold air sends goosebumps across my skin. He leans up and kisses my neck and leaves marks all the way to my ear lobe and whispers “Before I fuck you until you can’t remember your name, How old are you?” 

Forming words is harder than I imagined so between pants I say back “17.” 

“Perfect” he whispers back while still biting my neck. “Come here” he says as he opens the door. I hop off him and outside the car and see the tent forming in his pants. He picks me up and wraps my legs around him and pins me against the car door. He bites my lip and I can’t imagine anything better than this moment. While still mounted on his he opens the door to the backseat and lays me down. He gets on top of me and shuts the door behind him. He ruts against my core and his jeans rub against the soft fabric of my athletic shorts. Although my mind is completely fixed on his engorged cock a thought forms in my mind. What if he thinks I’ve done this before? What If I’m so bad he doesn’t even speak to me again? These thoughts completely cloud my mind and Chris notices.

“What's wrong?” he says as he pulls away. I glance at his bitten lips and pant trying to form words. 

“Nothing just, I... I’m a virgin.” I blurt out. I am so scared I ruined the moment but his expression only intensifies. 

“Oh well we just can’t have that now can we?” He says back and his lust blown pupils grow darker and he kisses me with such intensity my thoughts completely leave my mind. I could get drunk off the taste of him. Chris breaks the kiss and rips off his shirt showing his perfectly chiseled abs. I felt them through the cotton but seeing them right in front of my eyes makes my mouth open. My lips peak into a smile and he picks me up and places my back closer to the car door. He rips off my shorts and starts kissing down my neck to my navel and I run my fingers through his hair. My chest rises and falls quicker as his lips reach my red lace covered mound. His teeth grab the waistband and he pulls off my panties. 

He inhales and says “So sweet.” His husky voice vibrating against my core. His kisses dance around my thighs. As more sounds leave my mouth Chris bites my skin. His hands hold my legs open as he licks down my folds. His tongue flickers across my clit leaving me trembling. I had never felt this way from anyone ever. My fingers run through his short dirty blonde hair and my nails dig into his scalp leaving crescent shaped indents. He slips his middle finger through my folds as he sucks on my clit. His fingers curl up hitting a spot I never knew existed. A feeling in my stomach starts intensifying and spreading through my entire body and I tremble in euphoria. Chris finger fucks me through my first ever orgasm. I shut my eyes tightly and when I open them Chris is staring right at me. I grab the hair on the nape of his neck and pull him back up to kiss me. I can taste myself still on his tongue as the material of his jeans rubs against my sensitive bud. His fingers pinch my nipples as he slips his tongue between my lips. I reach down and feel his throbbing cock through his pants. As I rub with the palm of my hand, throaty moans leave his mouth. Nothing was stronger than my desire to be fucked raw by this sex god. I pulled away from the kiss and say as I stare deep into his eyes “Fuck me Chris.” My words are efficacious to him. 

He licked his lips like an animal locked onto his prey. “Don’t have to ask me twice.” He pulls down his jeans and takes his cock out of his boxers. I have seen a dick before but never that big. My mouth almost dropped to the floor. He pulled a condom out of the back of the seat and wrapped it around his cock. He pumped his dick a few times before running the head along my sodden folds. “You ready?” I had never been more ready for anything in my entire life. Unable to form words I nodded my head. Chris pushes his cock into me slowly. I gasped at the feeling. I wasn’t as tight as I usually was but it still stung. Each inch stung a little more until he bottomed out into me. He stilled. His breath was hot on my ear as our breathing synced. I gasped again as he pulled his hips back. I reached down and pulled him back into me. 

“Don’t hold back.” I said. I wanted this to be as enjoyable for him as it was for me. Chris pulled out and thrust back into me again. The groans that left this throat made my pussy clench around him. He picks up his pace and pain turns into pleasure. My legs wrap around his thighs and I’m pulling him into me. 

“You dirty little slut. So needy.” He whispered into my ear. The sound that escaped my lips drew him deeper in like a moth to a flame. Chris drives his cock into me faster so that all you can hear is breathy moans and the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin. Chris moves his hand to my throat and squeezes. I try to moan but they catch in my throat and I look back at Chris. His mouth is agape and he is staring deep into my eyes. He thrusts so deep my eyes roll back and I have to shut them. He grabs my chin and pulls my face to meet his. “Look at me. Don’t look away. I want to see your face as I make you cum on my dick.” His cock is hitting places he didn’t even reach when fingering me. Another orgasm rips through me and my body trembles harder this time. Chris fucks me through my orgasm and just as I regained my mental awareness I could feel another one coming on. Chris squeezes harder on my neck as he sucks on my hardened nipples. He bites my skin and takes his hand from my neck and reaches between our sweaty writhing bodies and pinches my clit. A guttural moan leaves my throat as another excruciatingly intense orgasm takes over my entire body. I can tell Chris isn’t far behind because his thrusts become sporadic and he puts all his body weight into his last thrust and stills. The noises he makes me wish he was still fucking me. He leans down to meet my lips once again but this time it is slower and more gingerly. He pulls his dick out and lays down on top of me. 

We catch our breaths and I say. “Wow, that was.. fuck.”

Chris softly laughs and says “Who knew a 17 year old could have me in the palm of their hand.” 

“Who knew a however-old-you-are would take my virginity.” I say with a smile on my face.

“I’m 20, I probably should have told you earlier.” He says looking a little guilty.

“Don’t worry it would have only turned me on more.” I laugh back and our lips join in a soft kiss. 

Chris and I look at the dashboard and see it's 1:30 am. “Shit I should probably get home before my friend worries too much.” I say looking back at Chris and he nods. We sit up and reach down for our clothes. I reach for my underwear and Chris snatches it from my hands.

“These are mine now.” Chris smirks.

“Fine.” I put on my shorts and pull my top back on. Sadly Chris covers his humongous biceps with his shirt. I lean in and meet Chris with a kiss. We get back into our respective seats and Chris looks at me with a dumb smile.

“Why are you staring at me?” I say with a giggle.

“Oh, nothing.” Chris says and his smile only looks more like a 6 year old who just stole a cookie before dinner. I mean technically he did just steal something but that's beside the point. Chris puts the car back into drive and turns around to back up. 

As he drives me home there's more small talk but then he asks “How long will you be in town?” 

“A week,” I say. Chris’s dumb smile returns. “Okay, what's that smile for?” 

Chris looks at me and says “I’m just excited to fuck you every night this week.” 

#chris evans #cevans #firstfanfic #yay #excited #chris evans fanfc #chris evans x reader #young chris evans #chris evans x female reader #chris evans smut #chris evans fluff #chris evans imagine #smut #fluff #beach #stranger smut

[rainy-day-coffee]

hi... how about head cannons about the dorm leaders with a magical girl mc from either the puella magi magica madoka, magical girl site, magical girl raising project or princess tutu universe please?

I'll be doing Magical Girl Raising Project for this one! I’ll be using the abilities found in the anime since I’m not creative enough to think of any myself. The personalities of the characters themselves have nothing to do with the abilities I chose, they’re their own person! This is written as platonic! I hope this is alright!

As an extra note, this was a really interesting topic to write about. I enjoyed it! I actually just binge watched this anime for this request! It was quite good, I might pick up the light novels!

Warning: Mild mentions of gore; spoilers for Magical Girl Raising Project(?)

Dorm leaders reacting to a Magical Girl Mc

A new game has been released! Customize your own Magical Girl and work hard to defeat monsters!

Granted a 1-in-10,000 chance to be a real-life Magical Girl, the unfortunate souls who agree to the contract are unknowingly pulled into a world of bloodshed. All Magical Girls are expected to collect Magical candies through acts of helpfulness. Whomever is at the bottom of the ranking list by the end of the week is greeted by death. That is, if they can even make it that far.

Magic: Swimming through objects as if they were water - the objects do not affect the user as they pass through them.

He’s never heard of an ability quite like yours! It isn’t teleportation--it’s literally going through objects, ignoring any kind of barrier. It sounds impossible. Understandably, he doesn’t believe you until you show him.

Please refrain from popping out of random places in an attempt to scare him. He doesn’t want to be on edge everyday, the stress he has now is more than enough.

He’s curious about the whole situation. Just how and why did these “people” wrap you (and others) into such a terrible contract? How is it possible to grant these special abilities onto otherwise magicless people? Unfortunately, you most likely don’t have answers for those questions.

Sadly, Riddle doesn’t know of a way to help you out of this. The library may have some information, but the chances are slim nonetheless. He can offer assistance in candy collecting instead!

Something always seems to be going on at his dorm, it would help him greatly if you were to keep an eye on everything and everyone. He knows it isn’t much, but every little bit counts. You have his full support.

Magic: Entering the dreams of others - the ability to pass through the Dream World, granting access to the dreams of those who are currently sleeping.

He’s extremely annoyed. He doesn’t understand what’s happening. He’s only seen you a couple times before, so why do you seem to plague all of his dreams?

In his dreams, you move so vividly and in-character, it baffles him. Dream versions of people can be accurate, but never to such an extent each time. He’ll confront you about it soon enough. He has no evidence of what you’re doing, however vivid memories of dream-you push him to demand answers anyways.

Highly uncomfortable to know his dreams, his usual safe place, can be invaded by a person. He demands that you stop. You can go bother someone else, he doesn’t need that kind of help. If he sees you in there one more time, he may have to resort to other methods to get you to stop.

In regards to earning candies, unless you ask him specifically for help, there isn’t much he can do. You can always help Ruggie out with chores around Savanaclaw and you’ll be set. It’s a good deal for both sides, you can earn some candies and Leona can finally sleep comfortably again.

He finds the system you’re stuck in deplorable. Unfortunately, he can’t get you out of it, but if you ever need extra help he can always have Ruggie find one or two ways to get you those extra candies you need.

Magic: Hearing the thoughts of those in need - with enough training, the user can pinpoint the location of a person. Additionally, they can hear thoughts apart from cries for help.

Your special magic interests him greatly. He already has a good pool of information of all the students, but being able to hear their most inner thoughts is something truly amazing. No amount of research could easily give him those kinds of details.

He has the twins watch over you for a bit, gathering as much information as they can about your situation and what you go about doing.

Given the circumstances, he doubts he can rob this ability of yours through a contract. This does however present an amazing opportunity.

This could blossom into a wonderful partnership. You need to collect candies, and he’s always willing to accept requests from those “poor” souls who need help. By helping him, you can meet your quota! The rules never did mention what kind of help you were limited to offer after all.

He pities you, nothing can be done about your situation at the moment. You can rest assured though, you’ll never be at the bottom of the leaderboard with him around!

When time allows it, Floyd and Jade will be busy poking their noses where they don’t belong. The mascot that appears when you’re around seems to come from that phone you use. If they can see it, then that means these beings have made a mistake somehow. Is it possible to find a way to free you from this through that?

Magic: Transforming into any biologically living being - the size and shape of the creature do not matter, anything is fair game.

When he first discovers your special magic, he’ll be amazed! Transformation magic isn’t exactly easy, so being able to turn into whatever creature you want sounds like a lot of fun!

He’ll be begging you to turn into a wide variety of animals. Can you please turn into a tiger? How about an elephant? Maybe an alpaca? This could go on for hours if you don’t stop him.

Upon learning the darker side of the Magical Girl world, he starts to cry. He knows the world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but this is too cruel. You didn’t know you would suffer this way. They should have at least given you all the information beforehand. Better yet, they shouldn’t be doing something so awful in the first place.

Because he finds it hard to keep secrets from Jamil, he ends up telling him about you. He then needs to convince Jamil that you aren’t trying to get him killed.

He goes around asking if people need help. He wants to do everything he can to ensure you survive. Money can’t get you out of this game, he’s tried to use it but that mascot that follows you around always refuses it.

Kalim doesn’t want you to die. Just thinking about it makes his head spin and worry bubble. It wouldn’t be his fault if you died in the first place, but the guilt would consume him entirely.

Magic: Freely manipulating sound - the user can generate sound from anywhere and even recreate the voices of others. As an added result of this ability, the user has enhanced hearing.

Vil won’t forgive you if you decide to mimic Epel’s voice so he can escape. He may be evading his lessons for now, but Vil will find a way to drill them into him later on.

He never would have thought such a thing was possible. This terrible fate you’ve had forced onto you makes no sense. The beautiful power you’ve been given is nothing compared to the price. He doesn’t blame you, he blames whatever is doing this. 

If such a game exists in the world of Twisted Wonderland, he’ll use his influence to dissuade people from playing. Vil will do this behind the scenes of course, his public image has to remain intact.

He actively requests your assistance. For example, helping his dorm improve their instrument playing--your impressive hearing can detect small mistakes they need to work on. Apart from this, he regrettably can’t offer more help.

Hone your abilities and work with what you have. He knows you can prevail. Please take care of yourself as you move forward.

Magic: Receiving one futuristic tool a day - the ability to randomly pick one useful tool out of 444,444,444. The tool breaks down and is no longer of use after a day passes.

He’s in awe. A real life Magical Girl! To think they could really exist outside of anime! Just what kind of world did you come from? Forget living in a world where magic is common, Magical Girls are on a different level entirely! Curiosity gnaws at him, but given how shy he is he won’t approach you with questions himself. Ortho is more than happy to ask any questions for him in his place though!

Once he finds out you’re one of those Magical Girls, he feels a tad sympathetic. You really got the short end of the stick in life didn’t you? He knew the possibility was there, that trope is not uncommon, but a small piece of him wished it wasn’t the case.

He supposes your special magic can be compared to gacha luck. You never really know what you’re going to get. Unfortunately, in your case you can’t even calculate rates for good rolls.

If you’re willing to let him, he’ll happily take apart the tools and gadgets you get from your daily pull. One of those future items should help him create even better machines than he can now! And even they can’t, disassembling and reassembling objects he’s never seen is a thrill in and of itself

If you happen to hear a small tip from Ortho or someone else about an issue occurring around campus, it may or may not have been Idia. He has eyes all around the school, spotting problems is quite easy.

He’ll be rooting for you from the sidelines. You’re a protagonist in this story, he hopes you can make it through to the end.

Magic: Extreme regeneration - being able to recover from any wound so long as a portion of the user’s body is left.

Mortified when he finds your body all mangled and bruised after a rough “accident.” Malleus is ready to destroy whoever or whatever did this to you. He cares about you greatly, the very thought of seeing you in such a state makes his stomach churn and pure rage wash over him.

Once you explain your situation, he can grasp enough to understand the major gist of it. He doesn’t quite know what a “Magical Girl” is but obviously it isn’t something good. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be in such a terrible situation.

To know that you can take care of yourself in the face of danger, makes him relieved. Although he doesn’t like the idea of you getting hurt at all, a healing ability is always wonderful to possess.

While you earn candies, Malleus will be working on a way to free you.

Even if these beings who granted you this ability are “all-powerful,” his magical capabilities are among the top in all the world. Perhaps, he can start by politely asking for answers from the leader of this group. If that seems to fail, killing off that mascot seems like a good place to start instead.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x reader #twst headcanons #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader #kalim al asim #kalim al asim x reader #vil schoenheit #vil shoenheit x reader #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader

[bumbleklee]

Could you make a fic based on the song Moondust By Jaymes Young? With Xiao or Zhongli? It’s fine if you decline, I enjoyed your Lonestar fic a lot! Also, thank you in advance if you do this! ^^

after this, i decided im a monster. this is so sad, like so so sad. i don't know if this is what you had in mind but since the song is basically about learning how to live/love without someone, i went down a death route. i also went w xiao. pls enjoy (and grab a tissue)

before reading: ANGST!!! you literally die and are a ghost the entire time. mentions of injury and blood as well as self-harm and suicidal thoughts. word count is around 2.1k (under cut for length)

I'm building this house, on the moon Like a lost, astronaut Lookin' at you, like a star From a place, the world forgot And there's nothing, that I can do Except bury my love for you

Death was quick.

You know instantly that you’re dead the second you open your eyes. You can still remember the feeling of the Fatui pyro agent slicing his knife across your throat and if you think about it enough, your neck tingles. You remember falling to your knees, being laughed at, and then you saw nothing.

Well, you saw blackness.

And then when you came to, you were standing in the middle of Liyue Harbor. The world seemed duller but it was real. No one paid any mind to you, so you assumed you were a ghost.

It’s nice to still be able to watch the sun rise high above your hometown.

There’s no panic, no rush to find out what’s going on, you don’t need to. Your hands travel to your throat and the horrific wound is gone. In fact, all of the scrapes and bruises and imperfections on your body were gone. Death brings solace, you humor.

Your peaceful moment was interrupted by two frantic voices. They catch the attention of everyone in the area, including you, and you spin around quickly.

Xiao.

“Break the contract, please, Zhongli-” His voice is frazzled, filled with a sadness the living can’t understand. “I can’t live without them.”

You looked down at your left hand, heart shattering at the absence of the jade ring. Right. You were going to marry Xiao later that year. Not anymore.

A hundred thousand memories of sweet kisses and long nights flooded into your mind. They caused you to hold your breath, too many emotions crashing through your tired form. You felt like crying but couldn’t (ghosts didn’t have tears, you guessed).

You’re standing right in front of the love of your life and he can’t see you.

Maybe it’s a good thing he can’t see you because Xiao already looked wrecked. His eyes were puffy and red and his hair was disheveled. Unhealed scratches wound his arms like ribbon. You had been with Xiao for years, through the good and the bad, and never once had you ever seen him in this state.

He’s pleading still and Zhongli has an indescribable expression on his face. “I can’t,” His voice is barely a whisper, “You know I can’t.”

Xiao wails, falling to his knees. Zhongli feels his pain, you know he does, yet he won’t put him out of misery. You watch as Zhongli bends down and lifts the adeptus into his arms, swiftly walking away from the crowd. You follow ensuite and Xiao’s eyes are hazy, staring through you over Zhongli’s shoulder.

“I’m right here.”

But he doesn’t hear you.

The brightness of the sun, will give me just enough To bury my love, in the Moondust I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice To bury my love, in the moondust

You begin to follow Xiao around. Not that he goes anywhere, too heartbroken to move, but you keep watch of him like he once did for you.

He resorts to staying in Zhongli’s apartment. The consultant isn’t around most of the day and Xiao rarely leaves his bed. His tears stain the satin pillowcase and he curls upon himself. Sometimes you stand in the doorway and stare, other times you muster up enough courage to go and sit on the unoccupied side of the bed.

The first time you touch Xiao again is at night. He’s crying and without thinking, you wrap your body around his. His chest is pressed against yours and you press your lips to his shoulder.

It’s not warm anymore. In fact, it feels like nothing.

But still, you hold Xiao until he’s asleep. You don’t let go all night, opting to watch your beloved finally get some rest. You wonder if this is how it’s going to be for the rest of eternity? Would you follow Xiao around aimlessly for centuries more?

Or maybe you’re just stuck here. You recall a saying from an elder in Liyue years ago, “Spirits with unfinished business can’t move.”

You decided then that you were going to help him move on, help Xiao bury his love for you.

Nothing can breath, in the space Colder than, the darkest sea I have dreams about the days, driving through your sunset breeze But the first thing, that I will do Is bury my love for you

There’s no book about being a ghost. You have to figure it out on your own and you’ve never been more grateful no one can see you go straight through the wall for the third time that hour. Over time, you create your own handbook in your mind, jotting down anything you discover as your time as a dead person entails.

Within the first week, you understand that no one can see you, hear you, or feel you. And while you can vaguely touch objects and people, the sensation is different than when you were alive. Every human trait was thrown out the window - you don’t need to sleep, breathe or eat and drink anything.

You attend your funeral exactly a week after your body was discovered and someone propped your sword against your casket. You try to grasp it, to pick it up, but you only manage to push it over with a gust of nonexistent wind. It clambers to the floor, the funeral parlor growing silent, and you take this as your cue to leave.

You wondered if Xiao, or anyone of that matter, could sense you at least. Even if Xiao couldn’t see you, just him knowing you were there would ascend you to the afterlife (right?).

You also find out you can’t leave Liyue. There’s an invisible border keeping you trapped in the country and, frankly, you don’t mind. Xiao won’t leave Liyue so you don’t need to leave Liyue. But sometimes you get anxious that one day Xiao will leave Liyue and never return. And if you haven’t accomplished your goal yet, would you truly be stuck as a monster among men?

The brightness of the sun, will give me just enough To bury my love, in the Moondust I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice To bury my love, in the moondust

On particularly good days, Xiao talks to you. Zhongli was gone early one morning and Xiao pulled himself out of bed and to the living room, opting to open the blinds and see sunlight for the first time in weeks.

You sit on the coffee table with your legs criss-crossed as Xiao mumbles desolate words.

“I keep just wishing I would wake up dead. I miss you so much.”

You frown. “I��m here, I’m right here.”

But he can’t hear you. “You aren’t here to make me laugh at your stupid jokes anymore. And I just...I should have been there! I should have-”

His voice cracks and you move off the coffee table, wrapping your arms around his quivering body. You try to press yourself against him, squeeze your arms so tight that he’ll feel you, but you can’t. You can’t kiss his chapped lips and move your bodies so he’s curled into the crook of your neck.

Sometimes, you watch Xiao hurt himself. He digs his nails into his arms or thighs until he draws blood, only to push it all away and scream into the ground. You want to snap him out of him, tell him to stop doing that to himself, but you can only sit and stare.

You were nothing to Liyue - a common human who added nothing of importance to society. Yes, your death was sad for many people but the world kept turning. Xiao, on the other hand, was so special. He was the Vigilant Yaksha - the people of Liyue needed him forever.

“I miss you. I love you. I miss you.”

I'm a cast away, and men reap what they sow And I say what I know, to be true Yeah I'm living far away, on the face of the moon I've buried my love to give the world to you

Xiao goes out sometimes. It’s either to patrol the city or on a walk with Zhongli. It’s not much but it's an improvement. Like always, you follow him.

He’s started to have nightmares, waking up in a rush. He used to comfort you when you had nightmares and it pains you that you can’t return the favor. You try, by God, you try. You run your hands down his back comfortingly but Xiao only cries harder.

When Xiao sees Ganyu for the first time in months and she gives him homemade almond tofu, he smiles. It’s small and quick but you see it.

Growing up, you had thought that the living mourned the dead. When your grandmother died, you felt broken for a while, but that pain was minimal compared to this. Having to live endless days as an invisible soul while the living grieved was unbearable.

When no one is around, Xiao breaks down. He hurts himself, insults himself and wishes for you endlessly. When Xiao tries to jump off the roof of the apartment complex in the middle of the night and survives with only an injured arm, you realize he’s pushing his body. He’s trying to kill himself.

So, you scream.

Every waking hour of the day you scream.

“I’m right here, Xiao! I love you and I’m right here! I’m sorry for being careless and getting killed but you aren’t ready to join me yet!”

You know he doesn’t hear you, he can’t hear you, and yet Xiao slowly stops hurting himself.

The brightness of the sun, will give me just enough To bury my love, in the Moondust I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice To bury my love, in the moondust

It takes a year for Xiao to finally begin to cope with your death and you know your journey will be coming to end soon.

He still talks to you except now it’s hopeful and filled with acceptance. On the anniversary of your death, he travels to the Dragon-Queller early in the morning. He sits down in the spot he used to take you to and rubs the grass softly, as if motioning for you to sit down next to him.

You do.

“I’m leaving Liyue next week.”

A million feelings run through your veins. You want to throw up, scream, cry. Is a week enough time to get Xiao to move on from you? Had he already moved on? There were too many questions you couldn’t fucking ask.

You can’t bear to listen to the rest. Your feet travel on their own, taking you far away from Xiao and back into the heart of Liyue Harbor. You didn’t know where you were until you heard a voice call out for you.

“Hey, you!”

You were imagining voices now. You felt sick to your stomach.

“Y/N!”

A short, young woman came into your view and you finally looked up. You had walked right into the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Hu Tao was staring at you, not through you.

“I knew you were still here.”

Hu Tao could see you.

It didn’t make sense but you didn’t have time to make it make sense. Without thinking, you cried out to Hu Tao and begged her to help you save Xiao, save yourself.

“I want to go with him,” You say.

“But you can’t.”

“Then he’s going to forget about me.”

Hu Tao chuckled softly, “You think Xiao would forget about you?”

You don’t answer. Maybe it was you that didn’t want to forget about Xiao. Either way, it hurts. “He’s going to fall in love with someone new and-”

“Isn’t that what you want?”

It was. You wanted Xiao to be happy without you, to learn to love again. You wanted him to bury his love for you so you could both be free.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Hu Tao says, “Xiao will find you again one day.”

She clasps her hands together and reaches them out to you. You look down and see a moving image of Xiao. He’s still talking softly, this time with a small smile on his lips. You close your eyes suddenly, not wanting to see anymore. You step outside of the funeral parlor and whisper “I love you” into the wind.

The sun is shining high in the sky when Teyvat begins to disappear from your vision.

Maybe in another life you and Xiao will spend forever together. You’ll have a grand wedding, start a family, and grow old together like you should have. But for now, you’ll see him from the moon.

#genshin #genshin x reader #genshin self insert #genshin angst #genshin writing #genshin impact writing #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #xiao #zhongli #hu tao #im sorry for this

[mcyt-imagines]

TommyInnit Confession HCs

This is a combination of an imagine and some headcanons, this is a new way of writing for me so let me know if you enjoyed this format! 

- Tommy realising he loves the reader and how he’d confess to them - 

Tommy definitely would deny being interested in the reader in the beginning.

It would probably be a natural progression of feelings but tommy just wouldn’t realise it until WAY too late.

Like he just catches himself thinking about them when he’s just doing schoolwork and chores. And then he’s aware of just how much his mind wanders to them. Far too often in his humble opinion.

He lays hints about his crush when talking with Tubbo. He’s real defensive about it though. “You much of a ladies man Tubbo?” Trying to discretely get advice without actually asking for any. And Tubbo being Tubbo means he completely missed all the hints Tommy was dropping. (Not that Tommy’s hints were any good)

His stream for sure notices a change in his behavior, more scatterbrained showing visible signs of stress maybe a little more irritable too. Tubbo definitely notices the changes too and asks him about it. 

Tubbo would probably ask tommy on stream or in private something along the lines of. “What’s up Tommy, you’ve been kinda uh, distracted lately…”

Tommy for suuuuuure blushes and stutters out a response that even Tubbo doesn’t buy. (So instead he talks to Tubbo about it off stream, doesn’t mention his crushes name, but he keeps Tubbo in the loop. Tubbo finds the whole thing very funny because of how defensive Tommy gets in response, however he offers his support to Tommy, obviously. “Even though I have no experience with romance Tommy. I’ll do my best to be the best wingman ever!” With a salute to Tommy on his webcam. Tubbo quickly leaves the call saying he needs to do some ‘research’ (he puts the word in quotation marks with a wink)

Tommy would be a stubborn flustered MESS if stream ever figured out that he was crushing on someone.

And of course they find out because Tubbo slips up and mentions Tommy having a crush.

By that point he is absolutely CONSUMED by his thoughts about the reader as the more he tries to not think about them the more he wishes he was with them.

He also would 10000% be ignoring or avoiding his crush for as long as possible because he knows he wouldn’t be able to utter a single word to their face. His usual ‘big man’ façade would be in absolute shambles if he were around the reader during this time.

There would be a lot of internal and external swearing from Tommy when he finally realises and accepts that he likes you though.

However, this acceptance doesn’t make him any less stressed because now he needs to figure out whether he is even going to tell you!

But he knows he can’t keep living like this as he can’t keep avoiding his crush forever. And he knows the next time he sees you he knows his heart is going to literally burst out of his chest. And he won’t be able to stop himself. So, he devises a plan.

He gets a pep talk from Tubbo in which they help brainstorm his confession plan but he finds himself messaging Wilbur one late night after his stream. “Hey, can I get some advice?” Wilbur is shocked. “Tommyinnit asking ME for advice? Never thought I’d see the day.”

Wilbur teases him for a short while surely. But when Tommy finally puts his pride aside and tells Wilbur about his crush he sobers up quick and dishes out some solid advice and support for Tommy. “In exchange for my services I better be meeting this crush of yours Tommy.” “You got it big man.”

After speaking with Wilbur Tommy feels as if he can finally breathe for the first time in weeks since he first started to realise his feelings for the reader.

CONFESSION DAY!

Tommy sends the reader a text in the mid-morning asking if they wanted to hang out sometime later today. Also apologizing for how ‘busy’ he’s been the last few weeks using schoolwork or chores as his excuse.

He’s furiously texting Tubbo the WHOLE time he’s waiting for a reply from them. Tubbo pulls Tommy onto Minecraft to try and take his mind off the situation. Offline of course, Tommy would not be able to handle streaming right now.

Even Wilbur sends him a few messages to check in, jumping on discord to give his ear for Tommy to chew off. Which he most definitely does.

Eventually his phone dings and Tommy DIVES for it. “THEY SAID YES!” Both Wilbur and Tubbo groan from Tommy’s mic peaking with his screech.

Tommy waits for a few minutes before replying per Tubbo’s request. “I read it online! You don’t want to seem too into them.” He proclaims with false authority as Wilbur chuckles in the background of the call.

The rest of the afternoon blurs for Tommy as he stays on call with Wilbur and Tubbo as they do their best to distract his overactive mind.

However, as the clock ticks on he knows he needs to start getting ready or he’s going to be late.

Wilbur demands that he choose Tommy’s outfit. So for the next half hour Tommy proceeds to perform a free fashion show for the two, only for Phil to join for a short while to give his two cents before going back to his stream.

Eventually Wilbur settles on what he dubbed “-a classic Tommyinnit look-” one of his favourite red shirts paired with one of his nicer black jackets and the dark charcoal pants his mum had made him get a few months ago for a wedding. They are very uncomfortable.

Tommy heaves a sigh as he thanks Wilbur and Tubbo for sticking around with him today. They both send him away, “Good luck Tommy!” “Go get ‘em big man.”

Tommy had agreed to meet the reader at the park, he thought dinner would have been a bit much. Wilbur and Tubbo both agreed on that front. This park was right near the water, so it had a great view of the sunset. He was still pretty chuffed about that fact, his chat was sooo wrong, he could be romantic if he wanted to after all.

Of course, he was a little late. He repeatedly told his mum to speed. She refused of course. His mother of course had noticed exactly what this ‘hang out’ was and had quizzed him about his crush the night prior.

“Don’t leave the car mum.” Tommy was quick to warn her, he did not want her to be anywhere near them. She didn’t need any more dirt on him to embarrass him with. She could end his whole streaming career in an instant if she wanted. A truly terrifying thought.

Tommy was quick to move near the waterfront puffing slightly, nose a tinge pink with the oncoming chilly wind from the lake. “Hey Tommy.” Tommy would freeze instantly before quickly turning with a forced smile, a little too big for his face. “Hey!”

His crush would lead Tommy over to the nearby bench they had been sitting on before he arrived. And they would definitely sit closer to Tommy than he would have wanted.

Tommy would be so obvious. Stuttering over his words, a LOT of frantic hand movements whenever he’s speaking to them.

Mid-conversation his crush starts to laugh. “Tommy I think I’ve figure out why you have been ‘busy’ recently.” Tommy stills immediately, sweat dripping off of him in POOLS. “H-Huh!?” He makes a noise in the back of his throat that he has NEVER made before.

This seems to only make his crush laugh more, they turn fully to him and take one of his clammy hands. He quickly goes to yank it from their grip knowing how sweaty it is. But their grip is strong, and surprisingly calm in contrast to his shaking hands. He gulps simply staring at the spot where their hands are touching. “Tommy.” His gaze snaps up to their smiling face hiding slight worry. “Breathe.” And he finally does. His tense shoulders drop, and their hand leaves his. And suddenly he’s laughing harder than he ever has before realizing how ridiculous he’s being right now. And when he looks over, so is his crush.

The conversation from that point on flows naturally as the two finally begin to catch up after not seeing each other for a few weeks.

Tommy finally realises how comfortable they make him feel. He simply stares at them as they speak. Awed that it took him this damn long to figure out he liked them.

His crush stops talking, noticing him staring. He jumps out of his thoughts, “Hey Tommy, take a picture it’ll last longer.” And suddenly he’s sweating all over again as they laugh.

His crush is having the time of their life watching ‘big man’ Tommy squirm beside them. Trying his best to scrounge up the courage to say something, anything to them.

They open their mouth to speak when suddenly Tommy yells, “I LIKE YOU!”

Tommy isn’t even looking at them, he has his eyes squeezed shut and he thrusts his arm outwards holding something which promptly shoves into his crush’s chest. Effectively winding them.

They wheeze in response, “Me too. Don’t know why though goD!” They push out through gasps of air, pressing a hand to their chest. Pain beginning to subside as Tommy realises he literally just punched his crush.

His jaw drops and his silence continues as they take what was in his hands. A small book.

A scrapbook.

His crush’s face softens as they flip through the photos, memories flooding back to them of days long gone by.

Tommy stayed up all night yesterday just to finish the final details on the scrapbook, it isn’t the most aesthetically pleasing thing. (Even he knows that) But he put his heart and soul into it.

“Very sweet of you Tommy. But I didn’t bring anything for you…” They end up mumbling in response. Tommy only grins. “So you like it?” They scoff and finally pull Tommy in for a hug. He stills for a moment, then melts into their hold.

Tommy mumbles his apology for literally punching them into his crush’s hair. They giggle into his chest in response, letting him know that it’s fine, they’re okay. Tommy mumbles something incoherent into their hair and presses a cautionary kiss to the top of their head.

“AWWWWW!” A loud noise comes from behind their bench. Tommy and his crush dive apart only to see Tommy’s mum hidden behind a nearby tree.

“MUUUUUUUUUM!” Tommy screeches as his crush cackles out a laugh.

Tommy’s mum ends up driving his crush home as well, they sit in the back seat of the car holding hands.

“This didn’t go at all how I’d planned…” Tommy complains with a deep pout. “Oh really? Your plan didn’t involve punching me? Huh?” Their crush sniggers at him.

“Oh! His real plan-“ His mother starts and in order to cut her off Tommy just starts yelling at the top of his lungs “Nononono!!”. Causing his crush to burst into laughter as the two try to increase their volumes to drown out the other.

His crush shakes their head with a grin and wonders what the hell they’ve just gotten themselves into.

#tommyinnit #tommy x reader #mcyt headcanons #mcyt imagines #mcyt x reader #tommy mcyt

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Suicide Squad Team A

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS! Seriously, as soon as you click that read more, you’re gonna be smacked with SPOILERS! Don’t say I didn’t give you ample warning this time!)

The world’s in danger yet again, and Amanda Waller is in need of some expendable forces to take on some dirty jobs in the name of preserving peace. Last time she did this, it seems like she hired the wrong people. Nice guy Will Smith Deadshot? Bland, boring Killer Croc? El Diablo, who became attached to a bunch of reprobates after spending a couple hours with them? The only one who was useful in that squad was Katana. She had their backs, could cut all of them in half with one sword stroke just like mowing the lawn, and her sword traps the souls of its victims. Unfortunately, she was decidedly not expendable, so what is a girlboss like Waller to do?

Easy: Assemble a brand new squad of criminals to do the dirty work. Harley and Boomerang are the only ones she brought back, because let’s be real, they’re the only ones we give a damn about. Filling out the rest of the squad are the stoic, craggy crackshot Savant; the handsome, German spear-thrower Javelin; the alien warrior Mongal; the frothing, psychotic animal Weasel; the confident and all-powerful TDK; and Blackguard, who is literally just a guy. Together, this team gets deployed to Corto Maltese to do what no one else can do, and with skills like theirs, they are absolutely unstoppable!

They all fucking die before the opening credits.

Motivation/Goals: Considering the goal of the squad is to shave time off their prison sentences by going on the mission, it’s ostensibly the reason every single one of these goons accepted the job. Savant and Weasel are pretty well established in this regard; we get to focus on Savant for much of the opening, so we can get a sense of him, and Weasel is stated to have murdered no less than 27 children. So, yeah, they need to do this mission.

The rest, though? Who knows! Why are Mongal, Javelin, and TDK in prison? How did they even get an alien like Mongal? What did they do to land in the position they’d need to go on a suicide mission? Why doesn’t this movie have flashy, intrusive cards explaining everything to us in a throwaway gag in a montage?!

Blackguard, at least, has some other motivation. He sold out the entire squad to the military of Corto Maltese, which is why they’re ambushed. Now, there’s actually some ambiguity here: Did he do this of his own volition, and was this a complete surprise, or is it, as it is heavily implied, all part of Waller’s plan and she let this happen as a diversion for the other team to get in unnoticed?

Honestly, though, it doesn’t matter what their goals are. They’re all dead within five minutes of the movie starting, with one exception.

Performance: So, the reason these guys are even worth talking about is because, despite their minuscule screentime, all of their actors manage to cram in enough humor and characterization that they’re all pretty fun and likable. Michael Rooker is as stony and stoic as ever as Savant (until he hilariously isn’t), Flula Borg’s Javelin is really sweet and charming in his interactions with Harley, and Pete Davidson’s Blackguard is just amazingly douchey and pathetic. Special mention goes to Nathan Fillion’s TDK, who has an utterly endearing and unwavering faith in his astoundingly crappy ability to… detach his arms. It’s honestly kind of beautiful. Then there’s Weasel as portrayed by Sean Gunn, who is just a hilarious crackhead of an animal man.

Final Fate: Literally every single one of them die horribly thanks to Blackguard’s betrayal. He’s the first to go, because as soon as he walks out saying “Hey guys, it’s me, the one who contacted you!” he literally has his face blasted clean off. The rest go soon after. Mongal, in one of the most astounding moments of idiocy I’ve ever seen, leaps on a helicopter despite Rick Flag telling her specifically not to. Her weight and strength send it careening out of control, which leads to it shredding Captain Boomerang to bits before exploding, burning her alive as she painfully screams and writhes in agony. TDK gets his arms shot into Swiss cheese, leading to him bleeding out since even detached they still are part of him. Javelin is also shot, but gets a dying moment with Harley where he passes her Checkov’s Javelin. Finally, after witnessing all of this carnage, Savant completely loses his shit and tries to swim away, leading to Waller blowing his head up.

You may be wondering what happened to Weasel. He appears to drown as soon as the Squad deploys, because despite being actually smart in this movie, Waller forgot to make sure everyone on the Squad could swim. Thankfully, this lovable child-murdering crackhead rodent was just sleeping, and wakes up in the first credit scene.

Best Scene: Obviously, it’s their one and only scene. It’s a magnificent slaughter that puts the X-Force scene from Deadpool 2 to shame.

Final Thoughts & Score: I’ve gotta hand it to James Gunn. Even though these losers are only onscreen for a few minutes, they all get to cram a lot of charm and personality into that time, to the point it’s actually kind of sad seeing them all die. It’s a beautiful mix of comedy and tragedy. Since their screentime is so limited, though, I’m mostly going to be grading them on style, performance, and so on rather than on villainy like normal. They are all bad guys, as they don’t really get a chance to redeem themselves like the other Squad, so I’m still counting them as villains, which means they could potentially score above an 8 (which is the highest score I’m willing to give heel-face turn villains, because they end up being better as characters in general than as villains).

I’m also not going to talk about Boomerang (I’ll talk about him when I review the original Squad) or Harley (because she not only lives, but deserves her own solo Psycho Analysis). Now here we go, from best to worst:

TDK

If you thought anyone but TDK would get top marks, you’re sadly mistaken. Seeing Nathan Fillion proudly wield the insanely lame power to detach his arms to lightly tap soldiers on the head and gently grab their guns is a sight I never knew I needed to see until this movie. The fact he just seems so darn proud about this power that he doesn’t even bother to use in any way that would be remotely useful is honestly really endearing. Frankly, the sheer fact they adapted Arms-Fall-Off Boy in any way is enough for me to give him a 10/10.

Weasel

Weasel is just disgustingly delightful. He’s just a horrible, nasty, ugly little bastard… But he’s kind of adorable? He clearly has no idea where he is at any given time and is just so goddamn freaky that I can’t help but love him. The fact that, despite being a character who in the comics is noteworthy only for dying on his first mission with the Squad, he manages to survive the entire movie is pretty impressive. Hopefully he comes back in the future, but either way he gets an 8/10 from me.

Javelin

Honestly, aside from Boomerang, his death stung the most. He’s just so cute and charming, and he doesn’t even get to fling his javelin at anyone! Thankfully, he passes it on to Harley, and boy does she ever get to use it! He’s so cute, I have to give him an 8/10. I just wish we got more of him.

Savant

Savant is just an absolutely hilarious bait-and-switch. We follow him through the prologue, with everything seeming to point to him as our main character and the Squad leader. He’s stoic, he’s cranky, and he has impeccable aim… and then we get to the beach and he just freaks the hell out and starts screaming and crying and running away like a little bitch. Seeing Michael Rooker act like he’s shitting his pants after playing a badass like Yondu is just the sort of hilarious subversiveness that James Gunn loves to do when you let him loose. The fact that he looks like, to paraphrase the TVTropes YMMV page for the movie, a “cyberpunk Tommy Wiseau” is the icing on this 7/10 cake.

Blackguard

I was prepared to hate this guy just based on how lame Pete Davidson’s costume was, and you know what? I do hate him. But I love to hate him. He’s just an utterly pathetic scoundrel and a coward, true to his name. The fact he is the first to die, as just about everyone predicted, and is killed absolutely gruesomely makes any annoyance he could provide moot, and his freeakout over being seated next to Weasel on the plane is actually kind of funny. I was originally going to give him a 6, but you know what? He can have a low 7/10. He’s like the only member of this particular Squad to actually do anything evil, so I gotta give him props for that.

Mongal

Let me make this perfectly clear: I do not blame James Gunn or actress Mayling Ng. I’m not actually mad at either of them for what they chose to do, because it is ultimately hilarious and sad. It suited the narrative of the film, and I’m not actually, genuinely mad.

With all that out of the way, Mongal is one hell of a stupid cunt. It is one thing to cause your own death with your stupidity, it is something else entirely to cause the death of a beloved character with your poorly planned attack. The fact she didn’t take into account how her weight and strength would effect an airborne helicopter makes one wonder if she is really supposed to be based on a character who can take on Superman and live to tell about it.

Let’s compare her to two similar characters to really show how bad she is. Like Blackguard, she is directly responsible for a death on the beach, Blackguard being responsible for everyone by selling them out and leading them into an ambush (and yes, I’m including him as well), and Mongal killing Boomerang with the chopper. The difference is, Blackguard’s betrayal was deliberate, he meant to sell the team out, he was actively doing something evil there, while Mongal killed Boomerang out of sheer idiocy.

Now, let’s compare her to Zeitgeist from the similar bloody massacre that occurred during X-Force’s deployment in Deadpool 2. Like Mongal, he accidentally kills a teammate. The difference is, in the case of Zeitgeist, he only accidentally melted Peter, it was a freak accident, and ultimately it does get undone by the end. Meanwhile, Mongal made a conscious, stupid decision and ended up killing her squadmate with her own idiocy. She sucks, hardcore. I don’t do this lightly, but I’m giving her a 1/10. Villains just don’t get much stupider than her.

I will giver her this, though: the makeup work on her is good. She’s lowkey kinda hot if I’m being honest. But being hot and having good makeup does not a good villain make.

#Psycho Analysis #The Suicide Squad #Savant #Michael Rooker #Javelin #Flula Borg #TDK #Nathan Fillion #Weasel #Sean Gunn #Mongal #Mayling Ng #Blackguard #Pete Davidson

[pwarkluv]

❝ crush on you - l.mk ❞

lee mark x reader | fluff | 1.4k words

WARNINGS | lowercase is intended, idol au, love at first sight au, mature language/cursing, westernartist!reader, mark is a shy bby, soft!mark, lowkey shy!reader bc lol, ANOTHER REQUEST YAY!!

REQUEST | “love your writing! do you mind taking a request of mine? it’s where mark sees a western artist at an award show or function and he has a crush on her and wants to get with her before nct goes back to korea… thank you” - anon <3

SUMMARY | his little heart has a crush on you :)

AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “crush on you” by soul fro and dum di dum! IM SO EXCITED THIS IS ANOTHER REQUEST!! THANK YOU ANON ILY <3 hopefully this meets your expectations :) i actually don’t know how award shows in the states work even though i’m literally from america so this might be slightly inaccurate lol. anyways thank you for supporting me crappy writing ahfkjdh i love you <33

mark had no idea what it was about you that captured his fragile little heart. you, the tiny first time nominee at the ama’s.

nct 127 was once again nominated for an award at the western convention, the team touring around the area as well. the red carpet was flooded with cameras, flashes and intense yells for attention was the only thing mark could hear.

but the moment you started walking down the silk road, it was like all of the sound buzzed down to a silence.

❝ my heart has a little crush on you ❞

you were the only thing the boy could see.

your soft pink gown clashed with the intense red on the floor, the pretty floral print around the chest and waist of the dress all the more brought out your skin tone. your hair was left in pretty curls and mark could’ve sworn he saw a pink flower pin somewhere in there too.

the shy smile you let out the moment the paparazzi noticed you made mark’s heart race, hearing them ask you how you felt about your first ama’s since your debut.

so she’s a newbie, mark thought knowing that was the reason he’s never seen you before.

“how does it feel to be nominated for your first award?” a man asked, flashes all around you. your heart was racing with fear.

don’t fuck up now, you thought to yourself before smiling.

“if i’m being honest, i’m terrified.” you answered truthfully, watching as the group of people in front of you nodded in understanding. “but i’m super excited and grateful to be here, so the nerves don’t really matter.” you awkwardly continued as some cooed at your shyness.

“now i must say that’s a beautiful dress you have on.” a woman with a microphone said causing you to blush.

“ahh thank you!” you gushed, turning to her with warm cheeks. “i was scared it might be too much but my stylist insisted i wear it.”

“well you’re stunning.” the woman winked before a certain group of boys caught her eye. “good luck today y/n! hopefully this will be your first win.” she said before floating to the korean boys a couple feet away.

“thank you!” you called out, watching her go to the group of boys ahead of you.

curiosity struck you knowing you had no clue who they were. once you made it past the runway, you sneaked a look at the group only to have your breath taken away.

they were gorgeous, especially the one in the front.

his big brown doe eyes were shining under the lights and even though they were all wearing the same back suit and tie, this boy seemed to stand out to you.

❝ so immature but these butterflies they keep me laughing ❞

“hey lauren?” you nudge your manager. “who’s that?” you secretly point, not wanting to draw attention.

“oh that’s mark lee from nct 127. they’re the korean boy group that’s nominated for an award.” your manager replied.

she then pokes your sides as she smirks. “don’t tell me you have a thing for the canadian dude!” she says and you yelp from the impact.

“HE’S CANADIAN TOO?” you whispered-shouted to the girl, a little taken aback. so he’s handsome and most likely knows how to speak english?

“it’s always the damn canadians.” you grumbled under your breath as your manager laughed knowing this might be the start of something new.

-

“hyung remember that girl from the runway with the pink floral dress?” mark asks one of their managers. the man nods, a little confused by the question.

“how can you not?” the man jokes, mark nodding with a small smile.

“do you happen to know her name?” the boy asks as

his manager gives him a look. “where is this going mark?”

“no where i swear i just want to know who she is.” mark said, holding his hands up in surrender.

“hmm okay well i’m pretty sure her name is y/n.” his manager responds before being asked by another staff member for something.

“y/n.” mark said hazily, liking how your name sounds on his tongue.

-

mark was in love. there was no other way to describe this feeling. while waiting in their waiting rooms for the show to start, mark took the time to look up your music.

and god was he mad he didn’t know who you were before.

your songs were incredible and your voice held a certain fragility that made mark wanna give you a hug.

she better win, he thought to himself as they were ushered out of the waiting room and into the award show.

-

“oh my god oh my god oh my god.” you whispered to yourself as your heart raced. the award you were nominated in was about to be called and you wished you could hide in a hole and disappear from the crowd.

your manager sensed your nerves and squeezed your hand, silently letting you know she’d be there for you through anything. you softly smiled as you felt your nerves subside.

“and the winner is…” the man called out, purposefully slowing down a bit to create suspense.

mark knew this was the category you were nominated in, and the moment they were about to reveal the winner he held his breath.

please be y/n, he thought in his head as the announcer took another breath.

“y/n!” and if it wasn’t for his self-strength, mark could’ve sworn he would’ve jumped up in joy.

❝ my heart wrote a little song for you ❞

mark couldn’t keep his eyes off you throughout the entire award show. in fact, he was a little worried someone would notice because of how painfully obvious he was being.

but it’s not like you were any better. whenever mark would look away, you’d be looking at him.

“just talk to him.” your manager lauren complained, sick of the heart eyes you’d send to the boy.

so oblivious, she thought rolling her eyes. even she had seen the way he’d sneak glances at you as well.

“shhh.” you hushed her, looking around. it was nearing the end of the convention but you didn’t want to risk anyone over hearing her.

“i don’t know laur, he probably hasn’t even noticed me.” you quietly sighed feeling a bit down.

why would he? you’re just a newbie while he’s been in the industry for years.

“oh you’d be surprised.” the girl responded, shaking her head at your stupidity.

-

“are you y/n’s manager?” a man asked, stopping the woman. raising an eyebrow lauren motioned you too keep walking backstage to your dressing room.

how odd, you thought walking away.

“yes i am. why what’s going on.” lauren replied hesitantly.

the man let out a sigh of relief before continuing. “i’m one of the managers for nct 127 and let’s be honest,” he said letting the woman relax. she saw where this was heading.

“mark and y/n are head over heels for each other.” they both said at the same time.

“you noticed mark’s glances?” he asked in surprise.

“duh who wouldn’t?” she replied causing the man to laugh.

“y/n wouldn’t.” he said back causing them two to formulate a plan.

“y/n i have someone i’d like to introduce to you.” your manager said walking into your dressing room. you sat lazily on the couch still in your dress, your toes aching from being in those heels for hours.

“what’s up lauren?” you asked looking up from your phone.

“meet mark from nct 127.”

and just like that your heart jumped.

❝ won’t you take a listen ❞

the two of you stood awkwardly in front of each other not really knowing what to say. your managers had set you up, playing off the fact that they themselves have gotten along quite well and would like for their artists to meet.

“hey-“

“hi-“

you both started at the same time. you immediately flushed rushing to let him go first.

“uh you can go first.” you timidly responded.

“no you.” mark replied just as embarrassed.

“good grief just ask for each other’s numbers.” the two managers hollered in unison, cringing at the awkwardness in the air.

“y-you wanna get lunch sometime soon?” mark asked with sudden confidence.

❝ and dance with me to the rhythm ❞

you smiled causing him to smile back. “duh.”

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