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breakingarrows · 2 years

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Replaying BioShock 2

When thinking of BioShock 2 I often lump it with the black sheeps of gaming, the sequels that had to follow up on a video game that was immediately regarded as one of the greatest of all time, and as the maligned entry that is secretly the best of the series. The Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, the The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, the Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords, the Far Cry 2, the Grand Theft Auto IV, the Max Payne 3 games of video game canon. Games that often received reevaluation after the hype cycle had undergone its course and reached the point in time in which a game originally rejected and ridiculed by video game consumerists and forum posters becomes heralded[a] as “Good, Actually.” One game I don’t think has fully received its due recompense is BioShock 2. I first played through BioShock 2 in December of 2012 and it was then and there that I knew that BioShock 2 was Good, Actually.

The announcement of BioShock 2 in late March of 2008 was met with a lot of bewilderment. Commentators stated, “BioShock is the game I've enjoyed most in years. I can't see a sequel coming close to matching it but here's hoping anyway.” Sarcastically, “That's exactly what BioShock needed! A sequel!” “I just don't think the game lends itself to a sequel is all. A prequel could be good though.” “I loved BioShock but I can't think of anything I want in a sequel. They'd have to do something totally different.” “If it's not a prequel, don't bother.” “I don't really understand what they can do with a sequel. The story was nicely wrapped up, and the combat/research system will be hard to improve upon.” “If Ken's team isn't involved. No thanks!” “This is like Titanic getting a sequel. Either take the story in a completely different direction not involving Rapture, or a prequel.” Not every commentator was as dour and skeptical, though those that were had every right to be. BioShock was immediately hailed as a work of art after its release in August of 2007, and Take Two was now seemingly attempting to repeat the success with yet another BioShock game created separately from the original team.

Release day reception was mixed to positive. Surprisingly, a lot of posts were spent talking about the multiplayer component, something you can still hypothetically play today, but I will be ignoring. A general consensus was that BioShock 2 was an adequate-to-good followup to the seminal title that was BioShock. “If I had to give it a score, it'd probably land somewhere right around a 7. It's a fun game that gets a lot better the more you play it, but it's lost a bit of the magic of the original's unexpectedness and allure.” Some felt a little more aghast. “just finished it and can't remember any worthwhile level of this game... I'm on tears [sic], this is easily my biggest gaming disappointment ever, this is even worse than Devil May Cry 2.” Most people on forums did what people on forums do and overanalyze and complain about graphical fidelity. From framerate to texture quality to whether or not the PC resolution options constituted “widescreen.”

One common thread was that people found the game very hard, with low health packs, Eve hypos, and ammo pickups throughout, leaving them having some difficulty getting past the combat scenarios. Reviewing my footage of my hard mode, no-vita-chamber playthrough, while I did die exactly four times, I did find that I was very often handling a surplus of health, Eve hypos, and ammunition of each type for my arsenal of weapons. In the rush of release, the thrill of opening that shrink wrapped piece of plastic with an unmistakable “new game smell,” these terminally online forum posting freaks had blown their way through the game to their own detriment. This was not a Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. This was not even a Killzone 2 or a Gears of War 2. This was BioShock 2. In this game in order to effortlessly glide from one combat scenario to the next you have to be slow, thoughtful, and most importantly thorough. You have to check every room and avenue, loot every dead-body-marking lockbox, hack every safe, peruse every locked off area, and then you will have accumulated so much health and ammo that you will force yourself to waste plasmid uses and bullets just so that you can keep looting. BioShock 2 was not hard because it didn’t give you enough health and ammo, BioShock 2 was hard because you didn’t seek out and find enough health and ammo.

Engaging with the combat in BioShock 2 is an overall improvement on the original due to now being able to simultaneously wield and fire a weapon and plasmid at the same time without swapping between the two offensive options. In BioShock you would have to choose between equipping a plasmid or equipping a weapon as your on-hand utility. In BioShock 2 you already have both active and simply have to choose which you want currently equipped in each hand, left is dedicated to plasmids, and right to guns. This makes combat much more active and engaging as your combinations of attacks work more efficiently when both plasmid and weapon can be triggered with the touch of a button. Electrifying an enemy and then bashing with the drill, lighting an enemy on fire and then letting loose a heat-seeking rocket, spearing an enemy before pulling it and shooting it back in with telekinesis, and insect swarming with any weapon’s special ammo as the swarm keeps them in place stunned. Overall the minute-to-minute gameplay of BioShock 2 is better than the original, and the weapons are adapted to fit into your status as a Big Daddy which I appreciated.

BioShock 2 culminates with two encounters that are the epitome of the two scenarios you have been engaging with over the course of the game. The first is a battle against two Big Sisters, the face of the game and one of its best contributions to the overall BioShock entity. They are as hard to kill as a Big Daddy but much more agile and capable of dealing damage. The second is a wave defense, a culmination of the optional but suggested scenario to guard a Little Sister who is harvesting Adam from predetermined corpses littered throughout the map of each level. These defensive scenarios allow you to utilize alternative trap ammo as well as trap plasmids at chokepoints and around the general area of a corpse before putting the Little Sister down to begin the harvesting. During my most recent playthrough I had built up such an arsenal that I could easily just sit back in a corner and allow the plasmid and ammo traps kill every single splicer that attempted to interrupt the harvest. These segments are completely optional but due to their surplus Adam rewards make it something that should be engaged with. Adam is the currency for purchasing new plasmids, upgrading plasmids, and gaining more health, eve, and active plasmid slots, making them the most useful resource in the game. These defense segments also allow you more opportunities to research the different enemy types after you’ve unlocked the camera. Research bonuses are how you get some of the best gene tonics such as the upgraded Armored Shell, Drill Vampire, and Fountain of Youth tonics.

Defending Little Sisters from splicers also prepares you for the battle against Big Sisters, as you’ll learn they only appear once every Little Sister has been dealt with in a level. This allows you to pick which vent by which to resolve the Little Sister decision and prepare the surrounding area accordingly. The subsequent fight was always thrilling as Big Sisters were most often the reason for my death. Mixing and matching defense and offensive options makes a playthrough feel more varied as you bounce from fighting splicers in a new area to looting, fighting a Big Daddy, placing a Little Sister for a wave defense, and repeating.

More critically than in gameplay, BioShock 2 succeeds in telling a compelling story with its characters. Whereas in BioShock the main story was highly regarded for its Big Twist, there wasn’t much more to it than that twist. The characters in BioShock were the highlight, each a twisted and morose individual whose personality made each level memorable up to the moment you killed them and moved on in the dark ride of Rapture. It all culminated in an ending sequence that everyone mostly ignores when talking about its successes, because after the twist it didn’t have anything worthwhile left. BioShock 2 has an idea and executes on it fully for a much more satisfactory whole.

In BioShock 2 you are an example for your adopted daughter Eleanor to learn from. By watching how you decide to deal with not only the Little Sisters but with specific characters who antagonize you throughout each of their levels she will ultimately make a decision that determines the type of ending you receive. This reflection of action is indicative of how our own children learn from us, whether we are aware or intend for it or not. Children are always watching and will pick up on mannerisms you might not even recognize until they perform it. Tantrum throwing objects is a reflection of our own frustration, and imitation-as-play reinforces everyday actions as routine. Eleanor learns from the player and through a more complex flowchart of points compared to the original game, will make the final decision of whether Sofia Lamb, Eleanor’s mother and your main antagonist throughout the game, lives or dies.

The original BioShock’s “moral choice dilemma” was a black and white decision between saving or killing Little Sisters. Killing Little Sisters would net you more Adam in the short term but saving them ended with an overall larger number of Adam to spend on gameplay abilities, making salvation the desired route to take. Sparing or killing a child is not a real moral conundrum, it is a simplistic decision given weight only by the empty words of marketing. BioShock 2 muddles the mechanical reward to its benefit. The maximum overall Adam you can gain is a mixture of saving every Little Sister until a certain point where you gain a tonic that gives you more Adam for harvesting, at which point you use them to gain Adam from corpses before killing them yourself. The decision to kill or spare a child is still cartoonishly simple for a moral decision, but is at the very least made more complex by the mathematical equations behind them. Retaining the save or kill decision reads much more like certain features from Fallout 3 carrying over into Fallout: New Vegas. That is, as a consequence of restricted development time and inheriting another studio’s data within which to chisel your own familiar but new (and superior) piece of art.

More thoughtful choices in the game come in the form of the named characters whose fate is determined by the player. The first character you meet is Grace Holloway, a woman who was entrusted by Sofia Lamb to watch over her daughter Eleanor while Lamb was imprisoned by Andrew Ryan. Holloway failed and Eleanor was inducted into the Little Sister program and bonded with your player character, Delta. Holloway hates you for this. Next is Stanley Poole, an agent for Ryan who was responsible for the flooding of Lamb’s retreat in Dionysus Park and Eleanor’s induction into the Little Sister program after she caught his work as a double agent. Lastly is the tragic character of Gilbert Alexander, a scientist who underwent a radical experiment on behalf of Lamb that left him transformed into an inhuman organism and left behind audio logs prior to his descent into madness that would teach a would-be savior how to deliver him from his current state.

The fates of these three characters, combined with the player's decisions for the Little Sisters they encounter will lead to one of six endings. Thanks to this flexibility it is entirely possible to get a “Good Ending” with Lamb dead, or a “Bad Ending” where Lamb lives, or a “Neutral Ending” where you killed each character and had a mixture of saving and harvesting Little Sisters. My preferred choice of ending is saving all the Little Sisters and only sparing Holloway, as Poole deserved death for his crimes and Alexander was a mercy killing at his own request. Holloway is a traditional misguided henchman duped into villainy, Poole is a classical self-serving villain, and Alexander is a tragic figure whose death is more of an assisted suicide than an outright murder based on vengeance or justice.

Lamb’s fate is not up to you directly. You do not push a button on the controller to decide whether she lives or dies. That is left up to your adopted daughter, Eleanor, to decide, based on the decisions you made up to that point in time. She learns from you as a child learns from their parents. It's a much more compelling undercurrent to the game than the original’s “would you kindly?” being a conceit of a player character lacking agency in most games. Even with the flowcharts explaining the criteria for each ending, the unseen complexity underneath the various avenues available to the player upon their first playthrough means that the ending they receive will be a much more honest reflection of themself put on display by the actions of Eleanor.

Andrew Ryan has become part of video game canon as one of the most compelling antagonists encountered in games. He is the industrialist founder of Rapture, the setting which so bewitched everyone in the first BioShock. The largest hole left by BioShock that its sequel would have to somehow fill would be that of its main antagonist. How could you top Andrew Ryan? BioShock 2 addresses this issue in two ways. The first is that it still includes many audio logs from Andrew Ryan so that you can once again be regaled by his charisma and ego stroking monologues. BioShock 2 also does some retroactive addition with the introduction of Sofia Lamb, a psychiatrist who seeks to create a utopia using her ideology of “collectivism” in direct opposition to Ryan. She is now known as one of the great figures of Rapture, going so far as to even have debated Ryan publicly over the future of the city and being included in a photo of “Rapture’s Best and Brightest: 1952”

Just as Eleanor’s ending decision is a reflection of the player, Sofia Lamb is a mirrored reflection of Andrew Ryan[b]. Both spouted ideological babble in order to bring themselves into power, but neither were willing to separate that power from themself. Ryan founded Rapture so that people could be free from regulation by government or religion, so that anyone could do what they wanted. This propaganda didn’t include the asterisk that stated all this was fine, so long as Ryan stayed on top. The original BioShock is the story of how Ryan’s ideology of freedom fell once his position as top dog was threatened. Sofia Lamb is very much an altered reflection of that same grasping at power. Her “collectivism” is riddled with “common good” sentiments but all with her at the top with no equal or superior authority. Lamb is happy to sacrifice the individuals in her quest for the greater good, exemplified through Holloway, Poole, and Gil. Holloway was manipulated into serving Lamb out of guilt rather than adoration after the abduction of Eleanor, Poole’s allegiance was known to Lamb prior to the drowning of Persophone making her implicitly guilty in his actions, and Gil was coerced into serving as a test tube. Lamb strips everyone of their humanity and turns them into pawns to be manipulated and moved around according to her will. She may be the complete opposite in terms of beliefs but she is as hypocritical as Ryan, ruthlessly more so as she rules not by force but by love. Throughout the game you will come across adoring murals painted in her honor, she refers to her followers as the “family,” and pressures people to carry out her will as examples of their devotion. Ryan is a tyrant, a familiar and often used person to fight against in all forms of fiction. Lamb is much more sinister, having a morally uprighteous front belying a rot of egomania.

This utilization of coercing through adoration most similarly correlates in my own life to the use of religion and “God’s” will to push an individual's agenda onto others. Some of the latest media to tap into this insidious form of religion would be Mike Flanagan’s Midnight Mass in the character of Bev Keane played by Samantha Sloyan and on a more systemic level in Under the Banner of Heaven miniseries based on the book by Jon Krakauer covering the 1984 murder of Brenda and Erica Lafferty. Navigating a murder case involving deeply Mormon families included multiple conversations about faith and “Heavenly Father” as coverage for decisions and in-action that very much harkened back to my own years in service to the church my family attended. Lamb’s many audio logs recording conversations with followers and frequent propagandizing on speakers as you walk through Rapture gave me similar feelings of repulsion. She’s the type of person to stab you while smiling and explaining why this outcome was the best thing that could happen to you and fighting it will only hurt those you love.

Lamb’s indifference to all of those around her extended to her own daughter Eleanor, who wasn’t a person as much as another tool by which to achieve utopia. Lamb never loved Eleanor, she loved the promise Eleanor held as the ultimate mechanism towards whatever Lamb's version of utopia was, most likely something like Human Instrumentality with herself as god. Eleanor, lacking a mother, was nonetheless a person with feelings and opinions. She rebelled against her mother constantly. The more Lamb tried to control Eleanor’s growth the more Eleanor chose the opposite. When Ryan imprisoned Lamb, Eleanor was left with Holloway who cared for her with more love than Lamb did. That love, however, was more a substitute for Lamb than genuine care for the girl. Holloway loved to serve Lamb, and watching over Eleanor was a duty to be performed in that devotion. The loss of Eleanor was less the horror of losing a child and more the horror of having failed Lamb.

With you, Subject Delta, she had more of a parent than before. It may have been a parasitic relationship created to harvest Adam above all else, yet despite this, the mute Delta was a better parent than anyone Eleanor had before. Compared to the motherhood of Lamb, a life bonded to the protector Delta gathering Adam was more freeing and fulfilling than as a subject to the utopia project.

Parenthood is a recurring subject throughout BioShock 2. Andrew Ryan’s audio logs begin with his pondering of fathering of a child, not knowing his son would one day kill him. Holloway talks about how Lamb offering up Eleanor fulfilled her desire for motherhood that was denied by her infertility and the forced disappearance of her lover. A series of audio logs tell the story of a father named Mark Meltzer whose daughter was kidnapped by a Big Sister and his descent into Rapture in an attempt to recover her that ended with him as a Big Daddy you can fight and slay. Lamb and Eleanor’s relationship makes up the core of the game’s drama, with you serving as the imprint Eleanor acts upon. Our forward momentum is a reaction to Eleanor’s love for us in the form of a father/daughter relationship. However, there is also a more utilitarian reason for your desire to reunite with Eleanor and it is due to the Little Sister/Big Daddy bond you share. Brigid Tenenbaum briefly returns in the beginning stages to inform you that death awaits if you do not once again get into contact with Eleanor. This muddies the bond between you into less of fatherly love and into a resolution to live. The dual motivation continues for a majority of the game, as each roadblock puts the player more at risk of death from separation (with flashing red seizures reminding you of this despite it being a fraudulent threat as the player character will never actually die) and blossoms a concern and care for the one who calls you father and leaves gifts behind for you, pushing you ever towards a reunion.

Eleanor reports that Lamb is continuing the utopia project despite the disruption caused by the Little Sister programming, and Alexander serves as a grim warning for what fate might befall her if Lamb gets her way. After your climactic fight with two Big Sisters you are stopped one last time by Lamb smothering her own child in an effort to sever the bond and kill you. She is partially successful, the link is broken but you still live, though bound. Eleanor continues her rebellion by turning herself into a Big Sister after a unique section in which you control a Little Sister and gather the required materials for this transformation. While playing the Little Sister you view Rapture through their eyes. Everything is pristine and heavenly. You’ll occasionally get flashes of reality reinforcing the vast gap between what a Little Sister sees and what everyone else does. Corpses are literal angels, the walls are furnished with expensive decorations, curtains adorn every wall, and splicers look like they might have when attending the 1958 New Year’s Eve party. The finale has you fighting alongside Eleanor as she becomes a summon via the final plasmid slot. The first time I played the game in 2013 I very rarely brought her into the action out of a naive fatherly concern for her safety. This recent time I summoned her often as I recognized the mechanical and narrative fulfillment of her rebellion against Lamb reaching a climax as she now had the means with which to fight back physically whereas before it was all posturing and subterfuge.

BioShock 2 is a game I keep thinking about every now and then years and years after that first playthrough both for the mark it left on me and how underappreciated it still seems to be. Unlike Wind Waker or Sons of Liberty which were lampooned but eventually underwent a reevaluation in the culture writ large to become Game Canon, BioShock 2 remains in the shadow of both its predecessor and successor, and even its own DLC add-on expansion, Minerva’s Den, which had its own success completely separate from BioShock 2. Developer 2K Marin would eventually be handed what would become The Bureau: XCOM Declassified, itself a failed internal project within Irrational Games first handed off to 2K Australia before becoming a 2K Marin project and whose commercial failure would lead to 2K Marin’s closure in October 2013, two months after the game’s release.

Something entirely forgotten between my initial playthrough in 2013 and finishing my recent replay was that my wife and I had decided to name our baby daughter Eleanor in December of 2020. I had already known the connection to The Last of Us’ Ellie when my wife presented the two name options she liked the most but it wasn’t until I booted up BioShock 2 again in order to complete a replay and begin working on this essay that I was met with the audio log of Sofia Lamb discussing her daughter “Eleanor,” and I was hit with a realization that this game forgotten by a majority of the gaming public was now made much more personal to my own life. The lessons taught by the game, of children learning from those they love, bears true and reminds me that my own daughter is watching and learning whether I’m aware of it at the moment or not.

[a] As with all audiences, there are segments that will have always loved a game, segments that still hate it, and segments that don’t really care one way or the other about it. Grand Theft Auto IV was highly rated and sold millions but has mostly been lost in terms of cultural relevance.

[b] I appreciate another subtle reflection in that the first BioShock your transportation between various sections of the city was by Bathysphere, a small private vessel and underwater equivalent to the car. In BioShock 2 they are discussed as a reason for the death of the Atlantic Express railway system, your mode of transportation in the sequel. This reflects the rise of private motorized vehicles, and the machinations of the automobile industry, destroying public transport systems above, as well as serving as icons of each antagonist's ideology.

#BioShock #BioShock 2 #Video Game #Writing #criticism #Video Game Criticism

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dongofthewolf · 3 years

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Hello! May I request a number 8 or number 11? She/her pronouns are preferred :) thx!!

I Despise That I Adore You

Abby Anderson X Reader

Prompt: 8. Hands brushing unexpectedly 11. Secret relationship

Warnings: swearing, fluff

Link to the prompt list here

A/N: I kind of decided last minute to write like 1.5k more words for this fic because uhhhh idk but I hope you enjoy (especially if you requested it) !!

A/N: I also didn’t realize you only requested one of the two prompts so I accidentally wrote both LOL but thanks for the request(s) !!

You have always had a very dichotomous view on life; you believed that you either liked a person, or you didn’t. It was a simple notion and a digestible one at that, but never did you think that a touch—a single accidental touch from someone you most definitely didn’t like, could wreck your world this way.

You were at a briefing for an upcoming mission. It was a long, drawn out process that you dreaded, but what made it even worse was Abby. Okay, maybe not Abby specifically, but the fact that she could sit there at six in the morning and look so effortlessly beautiful, annoyed you more than you could say. Her outfit was the same as it almost always was; a simple grey tank top with green cargo pants and boots. Nothing extraordinary or outstanding, but you still couldn’t help but find it annoyingly attractive when she crossed her fucking enormous arms over her chest like that. God, she wasn’t even trying and you were losing it.

You didn’t like Abby—you couldn’t like her. How could you possibly like her when every single sign told you not to? She was stubborn and closed off, always shielding herself from the world with some serious facade you knew was bullshit. Maybe Abby did flirt with you occasionally and perhaps you did participate in it sometimes, but that all meant nothing. And anyways, even if you did like Abby (which you obviously didn’t) it would hurt you too much when she inevitably left you for someone prettier or cooler or smarter, and you didn’t need that right now.

Abby was all types of wrong and you knew that, which is why you were so utterly puzzled by this small, electric touch. It wasn’t even longer than a second, but as soon as it happened your heart felt like it had just been squeezed like a fucking lemon.

The briefing was finally over and you were quick to leave so you could actually get some sustenance for your body, and then it happened. You hadn’t even noticed that Abby was there when you dashed out the small exit of the military tent until you felt the smallest brush of her hand against yours. You paused to look back at Abby and she was looking at you too, and you swear it would’ve taken a damn machete to cut through the tension between those few, fleeting seconds of stillness.

Your hand burned from where it had grazed Abby’s and you clenched your fingers into a fist to try and relieve yourself from the sensation. Promptly shoving your hand behind your back to hide it from Abby’s inquisitive gaze, you slowly backed away with your eyes still fixed to hers. And though there was a great amount of distance between the two of you, you noticed something in her stare. You weren’t sure if it was just your brain being stupid or manipulative, but you could’ve sworn you saw the slightest hint of endearment in Abby’s eyes.

You tried to back away quicker but nearly fell over because of a stray root in the ground that you definitely weren’t looking at, and you could see Abby snort as she tried to hold back her laughter. Smiling nervously, you turned around and bolted towards the cafeteria. It was way too early for this.

Hoping to find some solace in a burrito, you practically ran to the cafeteria, but before you could even smell that lovely tortilla blanket, someone caught you. Abby was breathing slightly heavier than usual when she pulled you aside, practically trapping you against the wall behind you.

“Why are you running from me?”

Abby’s arm was leaning on the wall next to your head and it took every ounce of willpower not to stare at her massive biceps. “I’m not running from you.”

“Um, I think the fact that I literally just sprinted after you, says something slightly different.” Abby used her other hand to brush a strand of hair away from her face. “So are we going to talk about it, or are you just going to run again?”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest. “Talk about what?”

Abby gestured her hands awkwardly between the two of you. “Us—this. Whatever this is.”

“Abby, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about, but even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. So if you’ll excuse me, I need to grab some food now.” You ducked under Abby’s arm and began walking away but her next words stopped you in your tracks.

“I don’t understand you, I really don’t.” Abby was pacing now, her hands moving wildly as she spoke. “It’s like… sometimes you’re cold and distant and running away from me, and I just kind of accept it. I mean, even though it’s not like I’ve ever done anything to make you hate me this much, it obviously won’t help my situation if I continue to flirt with you. But then the next day I’ll catch you looking at me in that way and-”

“In what way?” You interrupted.

“Seriously?” Abby cocked her eyebrow, her mouth curled into an annoyed smirk as she rolled her eyes. “You look at me like you’re not sure whether you want to pounce me or punch me in the face.”

She said it so plainly that you were speechless for a second, was it seriously that obvious? There was so much going through your head right now, but the one thing that stuck with you was the fact that you agreed with her. Though it’s not like you could ever admit it, so instead you opted for some good ol’ denial. “I do not.”

Abby was quick to respond, like she had anticipated your answer. “You do, and you know what? I honestly have no problem with it. In fact, I encourage it! I mean if you weren’t so confusing, I’d have asked you out by now. You’re gorgeous and smart and a major badass on the field, but I just have no idea what you want from me.”

The last sentence threw you for a loop and before you knew it, your heart was doing the squeezing thing again. Did she truly think you were all those things?

Thinking about it, perhaps your problem wasn’t that you hated Abby. After all, it’s not like the reasons you disliked her were of any merit anyways. In fact, you kind of admired Abby when she wasn’t being a cocky bastard, but that still didn’t mean you could date her. Sure, she was kind of hot, and maybe you found her just the slightest bit charming, but you couldn’t possibly put yourself on the spot like that. Not only was she all types of wrong, Abby was also your superior, and Lord knows the scandal that dating her would transpire.

Finally finding some semblance of composure, you spoke hesitantly. “Abby you’re my superior and if people found out I- we just can’t, okay? I’m sorry.” You internally cringed at your words. It was such a stupid excuse but you still couldn’t help but fear the backlash you would receive for this.

Abby took a second to think before speaking. “Can I ask you a question?”

You didn’t say anything, just nodded your head slightly.

“Do you like me?” Abby’s eyes were sort of wide and almost hopeful, and you felt a slight tinge of remorse because you weren’t sure you could give her an answer. It was a simple question, but something inside you just couldn’t manage to form a proper response.

“Whether I like you or not doesn’t matter Abby, we can’t be together. I’ve worked so hard to get here and I’m not going to be belittled or ridiculed because I can’t keep my emotions in check.”

“So what you’re saying is… there are emotions to keep in check?” There was a hint of mischief in her tone and a smile on her face. You don’t think you’ve ever groaned so loudly.

“I did not say that.”

“It was implied.”

Abby chuckled to herself, taking a step towards you with every punctuated word. “Okay, let’s say that hypothetically you do have feelings for me, and that hypothetically I could make sure no one knew we were dating. Would you go out with me then?

You scoffed as you took a step towards her, your bodies now just inches from each other. “Oh yeah? And hypothetically, how would you do that?”

“It's simple, we date in secret.” Abby said it so nonchalantly that you thought she was joking. It took a few moments of awkward silence before you realized that she was serious.

“You’re kidding? That would never work.”

“Um first of all, I’m always serious, and second of all, did you forget that we are literally trained to be stealthy? I think if we can handle clickers, we can handle a secret relationship. Honestly Y/N, it seems like the only problem here is that you’re scared of going out with me because…” Abby took another step towards you, backing you against the wall with her arms crossed in front of her chest. “you’re afraid you’ll fall for me.”

You were utterly speechless. You wanted so badly to respond with a snarky comeback or a cheap insult, but as much as you hated to admit it, you were totally afraid of going out with her. Commitment is horrifying and complicated and you’ve gone your whole life trying to avoid it. But now? Abby was offering you a simple solution and before your mind could begin to consider the downsides to this, you answered.

“Fine. But if we get caught, it’s on you.”

And just like that, your secret relationship with Abby began.

It only took the first two dates for you to warm up to Abby—though you were incredibly apprehensive about all of it at first—it wasn't long before she had successfully charmed her way to your heart. And though you’d never admit it out loud, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t having at least a little bit of fun. It was thrilling running around with Abby like this; late-night dates, stolen looks during briefings, clandestine touches while passing each other in the halls, the way she seemed to be just a little bit more protective of you during patrols. You revelled in the way she held you when no one was around, when it was just the two of you.

It had almost been two months, and hiding a secret relationship with Abby was getting surprisingly more difficult. You figured it was likely a product of the fact that after your first kiss, Abby couldn’t seem to keep her hands off of you. It seemed as though someone was somehow lurking around every corner of this damn stadium, and the amount of times Abby had to sneak out of your room in the morning before your roommate woke up was honestly getting kind of absurd.

However, one major upside that’s come out of this deal is that you no longer despised briefings. In fact—now that you and Abby had this strange arrangement—you almost looked forward to mission briefings. The fondness for them was partly because you got to stare at Abby with adoration rather than anger, but mostly it was because you got to tease her like there was no tomorrow during them.

It was another early briefing and Isaac was droning on about… patrols? Or maybe it was borders, you weren’t really sure. Instead of focusing on his dull rambles, your mind was wandering elsewhere.

Abby was sitting in the seat next to you, her legs spread out while she leaned her toned forearms on the table in front of her. Keeping your eyes focused on Isaac, you brushed your knee against Abby’s just slightly before letting your hand slowly creep closer to her leg. Abby immediately knew what you were doing, quickly turning her attention towards you with a small tilt of her head. And though your eyes were fixed on the man in front of you, you knew she had a cautious look on her face.

A small smirk crept onto your lips as you let your hands make their way higher and higher till it was resting on her thigh. Letting it linger there, you traced little circles with your fingers, noting the way Abby covered her face with her hand to hide her expression before you gave her leg the smallest squeeze. Abby jumped in her seat and the whole room immediately turned their attention to her. Trying to hide her obvious freak-out Abby cleared her throat before asking some stupid question about intercepting the target while you did your best not to laugh next to her. When she finally finished rambling and the focus was off of her, Abby snuck you the smallest look, the kind of look that said “I’m totally going to get you for that later”.

At the end of the briefing, you noticed Abby making conversation with Manny near the exit of the military tent and an idea popped into your head. You made sure to look straight ahead as you nonchalantly walked out the exit before letting your hand brush up against Abby’s while you passed by. It still shocked you sometimes; somehow after nearly two months of hiding your relationship, her touch still managed to send you soaring. The familiar burn against your fingertips from your not-so-accidental accidental touch still lingering on your hand like an imprint—her imprint.

You looked back at her with a mischievous smirk on her face and she rolled her eyes before whispering something to Manny. Walking away knowingly, you were unsurprised when she cornered you behind a cement pillar with her hands on your hips and her mouth hungrily on yours. Abby spoke with her mouth still against yours, refusing to break the kiss.

“You know, for someone who was so adamant about having a secret relationship, you sure seem to enjoy attracting attention to us.”

You smiled into the kiss, your fingers moving to play with the end of her braid before giving it the smallest tug. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Abby groaned and you chuckled at her expression when you pulled away from her lips, causing Abby to nearly face-plant into the pillar behind you. You giggled, smiling at Abby teasingly before feigning an annoyed tone as you turned away from her with your arms crossed. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to grab some food now.”

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson imagine #the last of us imagine #abby anderson #abby tlou #tlou2 #the last of us 2 #fluff #secret relationship #yes this was an excuse to openly express my desire to be cornered by a buff lady so she can make out with me in secret #no i will not be apologizing

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allnewalldifferentwildspider · 3 years

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Zuko & Katara's Relationship Dynamic

This is like the third or fourth time I've tried to write up this post so please bare with me.

Oh wow. That video. Hopefully everyone has seen it now. Not only did it articulate arguments I've been making for years, but it also brought up ideas I had never thought of or noticed before. Watching that and watching the second half of Book 3 again (because it's my favorite) made me want to redo my zutara dynamic post.

I'm going to be using the tiny bits and pieces the show gave us to see how Zuko and Katara's relationship looks and how it would look if they gave us more because...Bryke really fucking hated zutara. I mean, I guess they did.

Katara is compassionate; Zuko is empathetic

A lot of anti-zutara arguments have said that Zuko and Katara could never be together because they would constantly fight and hate each other and it end sooner than later. Not only does this actually describe maiko, but that argument would need to ignore the characters' actual character.

One of Katara's biggest character traits is how compassionate she is. She has a drive to help others and ease their pain. Whether it's getting Aang out of the iceberg or healing a Fire Nation fishing village, Katara will go out of her way to help someone in need.

Katara: No. I will never ever turn my back on people who need me.

Zuko is very emotional and passionate person. As much as he tried to hide it to appease his father, Zuko does want to open up and connect with people. Unfortunately, aside from his uncle, most of the other people he knows are like Zhao and Azula. Not the most understanding of crowds. But because of this he can pick up what people are really thinking and feeling. Think of it as a defense mechanism he developed growing up around people like Azula.

Get these two kinds of people together and you get the crystal catacombs scene. Katara lashes out at Zuko until she breaks down. When she does Zuko opens up with empathy since they have something in common. This creates the beginning of an understanding between the two. Zuko uses that to finally open up to someone who isn't his uncle and Katara listens and reaches out to help. Contrast to the first episode of Book 3 when Zuko tries to voice his thoughts and concerns to Mai and she...doesn't really care.

Something similar happens during The Southern Raiders. Zuko figures out that Katara is taking out her anger of being separated from her father by The Fire Nation onto him and even connecting her mother's death to him.

It's not the first time Zuko has done this either. He easily figured out that Sokka was planning on going to The Boiling Rock. He does it again during Sozin's Comet when he tells Katara that Aang needs to figure out what to do about Ozai by himself.

There's a noticeable pattern of behavior by the time Sozin's Comet arrives. Zuko voices his concerns about meeting his uncle again and Katara is right there to help him through it.

Zuko's empathy combined with Katara's compassion creates almost a cycle of understanding and emotional vulnerability that the two can't really get with anyone else. One notices the other having concerns or problems and goes to give comfort by words or by actions.

Zuko still has a temper but so does Katara

Even after Zuko's fever dream character change thing, even after The Day of Black Sun, he still has it in him to yell at anyone who commits even the slightest transgressions against him:

Aang: That one felt kinda hot. Zuko: Don't patronize me. You know what it's supposed to look like. Aang: Sorry, sifu hotman. Zuko: And stop calling me that!

Sokka: So all we have to do is make Zuko angry. Easy enough. *pokes him with his sword* *annoying laugh* Zuko: All right! Cut it out!

Maybe it's the firebender in him or maybe he really is just like that. Basically if you annoy him, he'll let you know. What people sometimes overlook is that while it takes Katara a bit longer, she also gets worked up when people upset her.

Toph: What's the matter? Can't handle some dirt, Madame Fussy Britches? Katara: Oh, sorry, did I splash you, mud slug?

And remember, it was Katara getting angry at Sokka that even broke the iceberg that revealed Aang.

Katara: Ugh, I'm embarrassed to be related to you! Ever since Mom died I've been doing all the work around camp while you've been off playing soldier! Sokka: Uh... Katara? Katara: I even wash all the clothes! Have you ever smelled your dirty socks? Let me tell you, NOT PLEASANT! Sokka: Katara! Settle down! Katara: No, that's it. I'm done helping you. From now on, you're on your own!

The point is that it is both Zuko and Katara that are very passionate and emotional people. One of them isn't emotionally dominating the other because they both wear their emotions on their sleeves.

This also comes in to play when they set goals for themselves. When Zuko sets a goal, he puts everything into it. Katara is the same way. The difference is that Zuko's drive sometimes gives him a one-track mind while Katara is more flexible. Like for example Zuko being so focused on finding Aang before Sozin's Comet that he ignores Toph's story about her childhood versus Katara wanting to go to the North Pole but taking time to stop and help whoever they come across.

This passion also fuels their values and how strongly they stand by their beliefs. I already put The Painted Lady quote up above but Zuko's morality is what is making him so angry at himself during The Beach. He knows what he did was wrong, but he couldn't face it yet.

Sometimes their emotions get the better of them, but it's only because they are passionate about what they're doing.

Their natural teamwork is amazing

I can't provide a lot of clues in this bit because it's more of a visual thing. Just consider how flawlessly their plans worked during their attack on The Southern Raiders. Especially when you consider that it was a stealth mission so they barely even said anything to each other during and it still went incredibly well.

You could see it again during their mock battle with The Melon Lord. Sokka must have noticed because he paired them together to deliver some "liquidy-hot offence." And they pulled it off, again, without having to say anything.

They've only been a team for a few weeks(?), days(?) but they act as if they've been doing it for years.

They trust each other's judgment

Piggybacking of the previous point, Zuko and Katara have only been a team for a while but there seems to be a level of understanding in terms of judgement. They both know that whatever the other chooses is going to be a well-thought out decision. Maybe it's because they see each other as the mature members of the group even though Sokka is the same age as Zuko? I don't know.

Aang disappears right before they embark on their fight against the Fire Lord, and out of nowhere, Katara puts Zuko in charge.

Zuko: Get out of the bison's mouth, Sokka. We have a real problem here. Aang is nowhere to be found and the comet is only two days away. Katara: What should we do Zuko? Zuko: I don't know. Why are you all looking at me? Katara: Well, you are kind of the expert on tracking Aang.

and that wasn't the first time in that episode that she went along with one of Zuko's decisions

Katara: Aang, don't walk away from this. *She begins to walk towards him as a hand touches her shoulder to stop her from doing so.* Zuko: Let him go. He needs time to sort it out by himself.

As a lot of people have pointed out during the entirety of The Southern Raiders, Zuko never gives a suggestion on what he thinks Katara should do. Aside from making it a stealth mission, he follows her lead the entire way.

Katara teases Zuko (and he lets her)

The fun one. This one has two parts: pre and post The Southern Raiders.

Before The Southern Raiders, Katara was tolerating Zuko. She was still angry with him about the betrayal at Ba Sing Se. Getting little jabs at him was the only thing that was really helping her from loosing her cool around him.

Katara: I'm sorry. I'm just laughing at the irony. You know... how it would have been nice for us if you lost your firebending a long time ago? Zuko: Well it's not lost. It's just weaker for some reason. Katara: Maybe you're just not as good as you think you are. Toph: Ouch.

He just finished yelling at Aang and Sokka but all he does is glare at Katara. She does it again, but to be fair, he kind of set himself up for it.

Zuko: It's a sacred form that happens to be thousands of years old! Katara: Oh yeah? What's your little form called? Zuko: ...The Dancing Dragon.

Then comes post The Southern Raiders and...yeah, she's still picking on him and he still lets her. Granted it's a lot more playful this time around.

Zuko: They make me totally stiff and humorless. Katara: Actually, I think that actor's pretty spot on. Zuko: How could you say that? Actor Uncle: Let's forget about the Avatar and get massages. Actor Zuko: How could you say that?! (Cut back to Katara wearing a satisfied grin on her face and she looks to an expressionless Zuko as he slouches in his seat.)

I love pointing it out every time. She teases him and he does nothing about it.

Katara: Er, no. I was looking for cooking pots in the attic and I found this. Look at baby Zuko! Isn't he cute? Oh lighten up, I was just teasing.

And she admits it!

So what can we take away from this? From what little time they were given together (thanks, Bryke) it seems that Zuko and Katara really understand each other on an intimate emotional level. They can sense when the other is distressed and offer comfort. They're both passionate in and out of combat, for better or for worse. They're comfortable with each other as if they've known each other for years even though it's such a short time. Katara also likes to add a little bit of playfulness in there with Zuko letting her have her fun, again, showing how comfortable they are with each other.

I do think their relationship could have gone to romantic sooner than later if you would have given it a bit more time. Like first half of a hypothetical Book 4.

To me, at least.

#zutara #zuko #katara #anti kataang #anti bryke

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caffeine-and-melatonin · 2 years

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✨Book of Boba Fett Ch.1 Spoilers✨

SCREAMING AND CRYING OMG Y'ALL

For those of you who weren't here for my Bad Batch episode reactions, I have a lot of feelings about a lot of things any time we are blessed with more SW content so I write them down as I go through each episode.

There will be emotions, chaos, some less than elegant language, and definitely a lot of character/production analysis because I live for that shit.

So, without further ado, let's get into my brain going bonkers!

- Right of the bat, visuals combined with the suspenseful, almost daunting score is absolutely immaculate

- AHHHHHHHHHH KAMINO GOD NO WHY ITS BEEN LIKE 2 SECONDS I CAN'T HAVE A BREAK DOWN ALREADY

- Wait hold on....if I squint can I see Obi Wan by any chance? Please. Jon. Dave. I just need to see him already.

- Bacta tank? BOBA SIR WHAT'S HAPPENING

- OHHHHHHHH its trauma. Trauma is what's happening.

- Oh dear the ATOC flashback really isn't helping my mental stability.

- HOLY SHIT WE GET TO SEE HOW HE GOT OUT OF THE SARLACC PIT

- Ok not to jinx anything but this is fantastic. Look I've been a SW fan since I was a toddler, but I never fully understood all the hype about Boba until recently ya know...now that he has dialogue and more character development. I am honestly so glad that they didn't just immediately pick up where the end credit scene left off. Seeing Boba fend for himself and using his skills to survive is so fascinating.

- Eek the Tusken Raiders really said "lets swack this barely conscious man we found in the middle of nowhere like a piñata"

- Boba stopping to help someone who has also been captured is really interesting to me for some reason. Like I said before, Boba didn't really have much characterization in the OG trilogy other than being a hardcore bounty hunter and he was kind of a lil bitch during TCW. The reason why I find this to be so interesting is because bounty hunters are often characterized as greedy, selfish people who never go out of their way to do something for someone else unless credits are involved. We got to see a little bit of Boba's personality in the Mandalorian, but what I'm excited to see during this show is his individual characterization, beliefs, and morals. He didn't have to offer to help the Rodian, if anything he would have had a better chance at escaping without having to worry about another being, but he did it anyways. His caring side to his nature is something I'm dying to see and I honestly wonder if he attributes that side of him to how Jango was with him. AGHHHH COMPLEX CHARACTERIZATION! FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD!

- Mans got eaten by a Sarlacc, dragged through the desert, beaten like a dusty rug, and yet he was still ready to throw hands even when he was outnumbered. Iconic.

- AHHHH FENNEC

- Boba: "Fennec I had a bad dream." Fennec: "Bitch put a shirt on we gotta be fancy for the people."

- Can someone inform the wonderful hosts of the podcast RuPalp's Podrace that "Confused Boba" is my gender of the week? Please and thank you.

- I...don't know how I feel about the use of CGI over makeup and prosthetics for the Trandoshan

- Boba’s love language is gift receiving

- The Mayor's Majordomo sounds like he would try to mansplain politics to me

- Somehow this man made addressing someone as "milady" sound derogatory. Fuck this dude I am very pro let-Fennec-beat-his-ass-up

- The limited concern the Majordomo shows pisses me off, but I understand it. Jabba ran this joint for years and even if, hypothetically, he was only there for a short time, he had the support of the Hutt clan. Boba is starting from scratch, so while the disrespect oozing from this man is upsetting, it make sense.

- "I'm confused." "He wants you to pay him." "What? I'm the crime lord he's supposed to pay me." stars if that isn't some shit I could totally hear coming out of Fives' mouth

- I absolutely live for Fennec being the left brain and Boba being the right brain

- MAX REBO!!!!!!! CANTINA THEME REMIX!!!!!!!!

- Boba's dry sense of humor is fucking hilarious

- Ooooooo fancy Twi'lek lady....I don't trust her

- I love Fennec and Boba's friendship

- 10/10 fight scene like goddamn Tem go off

- I would let Fennec run me over with a speeder and I would apologise to her for even breathing within 100 miles of her

- YALL SEE THAT FLIP SHE DID TO DODGE THE KNIFE????? Stunning. Showstopping. Brilliant. Inspiring.

- Boba...you good bestie?

- What was happening at that house? Like why did the Tusken Raider bring them there just to watch?

- "No hard feelings mate" I love him. I understand the hype now.

- Ok wtf was Godzilla doing in the middle of the desert?

- The intricacies of the costume designs for literally everyone in this show, like how they distinguished the ranks of the Tusken Raiders based of the beads and weapons (yes I know that's technically a prop but it's included with the costume because it is constantly with the character...just stage crew things don't worry about it) , is breathtaking

OK FINAL THOUGHTS FOR THIS EPISODE:

- First thing I noticed is how visually stunning this show is so far. While the writers did not have to go through the processes of world building since Tatooine has already been pretty well established, the style that they have chosen to display the already known atmosphere, especially in the opening shots, makes it seem new. Along with this, one of my favorite things to look for is how they use camera angles and focal points to show the dynamics between each of the characters in the given scene. I feel like it just adds an extra touch and even contributes to the characterization in a way that might not be covered directly in the dialogue

- Speaking of characterization, I am in love with Boba and Fennec. Their interactions and differences in personality are so fun to watch and I can't wait to see more

- I don't trust that Twi'lek lady...she just seems extra shifty even for someone on Tatooine

- I am not emotionally prepared for when they get into Boba's trauma and him talking about Jango

I think that about sums it up. I really liked it and I can't wait to see where the story goes!

(PS do y'all want me to make a taglist for these episode brain vomit posts? If that's something you would be interested in lmk!)

#the book of boba fett #the book of boba fett spoilers #book of boba fett #book of boba fett spoilers #bobf #bobf spoilers #boba fett #fennec shand #episode reactions

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roger-that-cap · 3 years

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meet me in the gardens

knight!natasha x noble!fem!reader

summary: being the widow of a decently wealthy lord and sitting on a large plot of land automatically meant that you were a candidate for the program that you couldn’t say not to; the hosting. you had to sponsor a knight and keep them in your home for an entire year, which was troublesome enough on its own. but you never expected yoru knight to be a woman, and you certainly didn’t expect to have a full on illegal love affair with her, either.

warnings: actually none but a misunderstanding and the lack of editing that i think u guys may or may not be used to at this point

word count: 5.3k

part two!!

The knight before you was the opposite of a man. She was so opposite in fact, that you had to actively make yourself not appear like you were shocked. You knew that the twins were having to try even harder to keep composure.

She was without a doubt, one of the prettiest people you had ever seen before. Being a lady, you had seen so many handsome young men and gorgeous young women, but there wasn’t one who’s fairness struck you like this woman’s. Her eyes were an unfamiliar shade of blue, and you knew that they were the kind of eyes that were made for surveillance and observation, and if you looked hard enough, maybe a window to her thoughts. She had pink lips that were set into a genuine yet thin smile, almost like she wasn’t used to wordless pleasantries at all. Her hair was cropped just above her shoulders and it shined a brilliant red that you had rarely ever seen. Despite the powerful and extremely potent energy that she was giving off, she was short, shorter than you, but something told you that she was strong. Stronger than anyone knew quite yet, but you could feel it. But, you were still confused, regardless of how she had rendered you breathless for the quickest of seconds.

The problem wasn’t that she was a woman. There wasn’t even really a problem at all. It was just the fact that a woman was a knight. You had never seen anything like it in your entire life, and you had never even thought of the possibility of that happening. At all. You had to fight tooth and nail to keep property that you hardly even wanted, all because you were a woman. Because you weren’t pregnant with a son who could carry his hypothetical father’s name. Because you were a woman without the heir to your late husband’s fortunes, you were seen as nothing, for a long time. And now, there were women who were becoming knights?

You were more impressed than confused.

You felt another pinch from Pietro, this time a little harder. You breathed in through your nose, a welcoming smile on your face as you grappled for words.

“Hello,” you said, public voice still working hard as you internally scrambled for words. You were looking the red headed woman right in her eyes, the eyes that were so intense that if you hadn’t been in rooms where extreme business had gone down, you would have melted. You tried to remember the standard greeting. “Welcome to my keep. I hope that I can accommodate you during your stay, and that you are successful in your search for what it is that you are looking for.” You knew the words were off by a bit, but you saw the coachman nod in approval that you didn’t really care to have.

The knight took a step forward, and the sound of a heavy footstep crashing against your well-kept grass made you shiver. The trampled grass had nothing on the way that you reacted to hearing her voice. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Mirellis. I sincerely thank you for allowing me into your home.”

It was hardly your home, and you could tell that the two of you had already gotten off on the wrong foot. You knew it was because of your shameless staring. “May I be graced with knowing your name?”

If possible, she stood up a little straighter. “I am Natasha Romanoff, My Lady.”

If you were hearing correctly, you heard the slight awkwardness in her last two words. Only people with titles of their own called other lords and ladies “my lady”, and lower born people were to call them “milady”. She must have been lowborn, just like you. “It is my deepest pleasure to meet you, Natasha. May I show you around my keep?”

“Typically,” the coachman cut in, and you furrowed your brows at the way he interrupted the stop-and-start flow of the conversation. “It isn’t the lord—sorry—lady of the house’s job to do that.”

Wanda opened her mouth, highly defensive of you and ready to go because it was a fight she could afford to pick. A servant and a coachman were on the same level. She would face no punishment for talking back to the man. However, you reached to your right and squeezed her hand twice.

“Well, I am the lady of the house, and I would like to show my new guest her accommodations.” The man narrowed his eyes slightly at you, and it became obvious to everyone that he clearly wasn’t expecting back talk from you.

You knew that everyone thought widows were these gentle, sad women. The type that cried themselves to sleep and wished to meet their husbands again in the afterlife. The type that listened at anything that a man uttered simply because he was a man, or because they didn’t have the energy to entertain an arguement or to correct them. Especially ladies. But you were not supposed to be a lady. You wore fancy dresses and had gold and had a small castle to yourself, but part of you would always be that girl who beat up the boys who lived a few acres away for talking about your hair and then rolled in mud with them, laughing about it the very next day.

Even through the glances that were thrown between the five of you standing there, you continued. “My staff has worked so hard on making sure it was nice for her. I’d like to show off their diligence now.” It wasn’t a question.

“Do as you please, milady.”

You resisted the urge to nod smugly. “Thank you.” You watched him climb back onto his chair and quirked a brow. The coachman always stayed for dinner. It was considered offensive if they did not, both to the knight and to the lord or lady. “Did you not want to stay for the meal, good sir?”

“I must get back, milady. If that is alright with you.”

You knew you should utter something lengthy that you didn’t mean at all, but the most you could get out after his blatant rudeness was a quick “safe travels.” There was a long stretch of awkward silence as you watched him leave, arms hanging at your sides as the trotting sound of horses carried him away.

“Goodness, was he rude.”

“Pietro.” Wanda hissed, and you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing. You whirled around to look at the knight— Natasha— and saw that she was already looking at you with blatant curiosity.

“Would it be alright with you if I took you around myself?” You asked, and she nodded her head. “Well, I’m sure you’re hungry. Would you like to eat first?”

You were beginning to realize very quickly that the woman was the staring type. Her eyes, no, her entire face and persona was so demanding and intense. It was hard to even be provoked by her shameless staring and possible judgement, because at least she was open with it. The more you looked at her, though, the more you knew that you would never understand what was happening behind her eyes. “I would like to see.”

“Then you will see,” you stated, and gave Wanda a look. She knew immediately what it meant, and she walked off to tell the chefs to expect you in an hour or so. “We can start with the outside area and make our way in.”

She was very much the staring type. Not even just at faces or people in general, but with everything. You noticed that when anything caught her eye, she looked at it for a few seconds in silence and then moved on, like she heard them speak something unknown to everyone else and took the time to listen.

“These are the training grounds,” you said after walking to the back half of the castle, where the grass was still trained to grow with strength and hardly a thing was out of place. The training grounds were for young squires in the area or kids that just wanted to play fight. You had made the area yourself, and it was one of your favorite parts of your home. You liked being able to look outside and see children playing freely, and the sound of laughter was something that everyone needed in life. “You’re free to use them in any way you see fit, of course.”

“That’s very kind of you.”

“You’ll run into aspiring knights here and there, but they are good children.” Your voice was fond as you spoke of them, and then took a right. “And just down here, we have the gardens.”

And gardens, they were. They were the only thing in the castle that was actually yours while your husband was alive. When you had arrived, the patch of land was so disgraced that it would have been insulting to call it a garden. The flowers were droopy, the soil was dry, and the vibrant colors that were once there had been sucked away. Your husband didn’t care about the area, and neither did anyone else, so you adopted it. You had built it from the ground up and made it into what it was; a huge and gorgeous garden full of colors, with ivy hanging from rails in what looked like an unruly manner and bushes full of roses and begonias and everything in between. It was caged off by golden rails, but the rails were hardly binding. They were so wrapped with leaves that it looked like they grew with the garden.

“This is my favorite part of the keep,” you stated softly, walking down it. You had expanded it so that it went down and into the forest, the rails forming a path. You walked down it every so often yourself, deep into the woods where no one would bother you, where you could look at the stars above in peace.

“Is it yours?”

“What?” You asked, tearing your eyes from a particular bush to see her looking up at the ivy.

“This garden,” she said, and you realized that you were strolling closer and closer to the woods. You stopped walking, but didn’t make any move to go and meet her. “Do you tend to it?”

“It’s mine,” you answered, not even bothering to take the subtle pride out of your voice. “It’s my project. I started it when I got here, and now it’s flourishing.”

“Where did you learn how to garden?”

It was no secret that typically, ladies did not get their hands dirty, even if the activity was simple planting. They were supposed to stay inside and knit or something like that. Ladies could go outside to look at gardens, but they had staff to plant for them. So, did Natasha not know that you weren’t born with a title? “When I was a girl,” you answered vaguely.

“Your Lord Father allowed you?”

My father was no lord. “Yours allowed you to wield a sword?” The sound of armor clanking brought you out of your slight hostility, and you sighed. “I apologize.”

“It’s quite alright.” The harshness in her voice told you that she was offended by what you said, and she turned around once she realized that the two of you were nearing the tree line.

You walked around with Natasha, giving her the rest of the tour halfheartedly and only speaking when absolutely necessary. It was clear that the two of you clearly weren’t clicking as well as you hoped to, and while that was tragic, you weren’t going to kiss anyone’s feet to get in their good graces.

“I’m sure you’re hungry by now.” The second you stepped on the wood floors of the inside of your keep, the warmth hit you. Your shoes clicked on the material as you walked ahead of her, not looking back or waiting for an answer. “I’ll show you the kitchens, and then the dining hall.”

The dining hall was known for its size. It was huge, and the ceiling was high. Everything that was said echoed, and the lighting provided by strategically placed candles made the hall have an elegant, almost eerie feeling to it. The staff was already bustling around, plating food and pouring wine. Wanda and Pietro were already there, their harsh and bickering whispers hitting your ears until they heard you approaching.

“Oh, please, sit.” Wanda did so immediately, and Pietro walked around the table to pull out your chair, which sat at the head of it.

You cringed when Pietro sat down. He had been dethroned from his seat at your left hand, because it was courteous of you to give up that seat for your new night. That was one tradition that you wouldn’t break, simply because it would be seen as disrespectful. “You can sit right there, Lady Natasha.” You saw her lip twitch.

In all honesty, you had no idea what to call her formally. You two certainly weren’t close enough to address each other by first name, and you doubted she even knew it. But she wasn’t a man, and male knights were called “Sir”. She wasn’t a “Sir”. You didn’t want to offend her further by calling her it.

The first half of the dinner was in awkward silence. Wanda kept giving you glances, and you frowned at the way she was looking at you- like you had clearly messed something up. You sighed through your nose when you heard Pietro clear his throat, a sound that meant that he was about to run his mouth.

“So, my lady knight, what do you think of the castle?”

The red head didn't even realize she was being addressed until she looked up and saw you and everyone else looking at her expectantly. “It’s very nice.” You waited a bit, listening to hear whatever empty compliments that she would give for the sake of being polite. Ten seconds passed, and there was nothing.

You chuckled. “Thank you,” you answered just as shortly, holding back the urge to laugh much louder than was appropriate.

“So, where are you from?”

“The slums.” You nod in acknowledgment, and guilt. Sometimes you repressed the images of people living from coin to coin. But silly you, silly everyone. For there to have been people on the top, there had to be people at the bottom. And those who lived at the bottom lived in what were called “the slums”. “I don’t know if you would know anything about that, My Lady.”

Wanda made a noise that told you that the bold knight’s words were clearly meant to wound you, and Pietro’s brows shot upwards so quickly that you barely saw the movement happen. You stared at your plate, jaw dropped open in surprise and mortification.

You were fuming on the inside. How the hell would she know who you were? What you dealt with? How your husband was as cruel as he was disgusting? How you grew up a poor farmer’s daughter? She didn’t know, and that was what kept you grounded. How could she have known?

Before you could get in your right mind to utter a threat that you were sure that your late husband had said in your presence at least once, you nodded your head and took it in stride. You stood up from the table and didn’t look at her or the confused look she shot you after looking at your painfully unfinished plate.

“Wanda will show you to your chambers, Lady Natasha. I hope you enjoy your first dinner of many here at my castle, and I hope that tonight begins your yearlong journey to wisdom.” And with that, you turned on your heels after taking your plate shamelessly, heels clacking against the polished floor once again, silence filling the hall until long after you left.

§§

By the third day Natasha was there and the second that you had been blatantly avoiding her, you were starting to feel bad for fueling the fire between you two. She was to stay under your roof and do what she had to for a full year, and you antagonized her. You gave the sacred act of showing a knight to their room to someone else, and you understood Natasha’s lack of speech towards you to be a consequence of that.

But that was fine. You certainly didn’t need for the girl to like you. It would have made things much easier and smoother, but it wasn’t a necessity. Your job was to give her food, water, shelter, and time to find herself and her purpose as a knight. Nothing said that the two of you had to be as thick as thieves.

But that also didn’t mean that you would actively pass on befriending her. You decided after a long time of sitting at the polished wooden desk that had become yours that you would be her friend should fate allow it, and if not, there was no harm to it. But you weren’t going to chase her, no matter how wonderfully her bright hair would work as an object to follow.

A soft calling of your name happened seconds before Wanda opened the door. You greeted her informally and grinned at her, until you saw the look on her face and the sealed paper in her hand. Immediately, your joyful expression left and you sighed.

“Who is it this time?” Wanda shut the door behind her after your question, and you gave her a look. “It can’t be Lord Rumlow again.”

Brock Rumlow was not a good man. No man who had power was a good man, but he was one of the worst. He had gone through two wives in the past three years, and the second one was found with stab wounds in the forest. How he had gotten out of being tried for her murder was beyond you, and it made you sick to your stomach every time you thought about it. Now, he set his sights on you, a widow sitting on plenty of money and land. He had been sending you letters, flowers, gold, dresses, anything that a narcissistic man would think that another human being would like simply because the things were tangible. And the letters always said the same old thing; to marry him. And he wasn’t ever really asking.

“It’s him,” Wanda confirmed, her tone telling you that she felt the same way you did towards the vile man.

“I want to burn it,” you said, and immediately, Wanda crossed the room to put the note in the fire, waiting for your final say. “Let me read what this imbecile has asked for now. I wonder what beautiful horse or jewel he’ll offer for my hand, this time.”

You took the letter from Wanda gently and gave her a small smile, and she urged you to open it, just as nervous to see what was inside as you were. You stared at his seal for a few seconds, eyeing the red wax with a three headed serpent engraved with disdain before tearing it right open. You did the rest without ceremony, your eyes narrowed as you found the messy and unbothered handwriting that you would recognize from anywhere.

Lady of Riverstone,

I take it that my other letters may have been lost to the wind. I apologize for not reaching you earlier. But, if you have been getting my letters, then my main offer stands the same. I would be honored for you to take my name and stand under my veil, and for you to become my wife. Marriage to me would give you a great deal of benefits, and I have listed them down below. I would like an answer within two fortnights, and if I don’t get one, I’ll send another letter.

It was all more of the same, more of the same offers and then a little more, vague threats, and monotonous language that he hardly knew how to use correctly. You read with a neutral expression, even though Wanda was shocked reading all of the things he was offering. He signed it off like he did every other letter.

Lord Rumlow, of Serpent’s Keep.

“He offered you two tons of gold to send your father?”

“Do you notice how he’s never called me Lady Mirellis?” You asked, sipping the chalice of water that constantly sat at your desk, and got refilled whenever someone walked by and saw it nearing empty. “Or by my name?”

“I have.”

“It’s always ‘Lady of Riverstone’,” you sighed, shaking your head. “If he wants the land, he should just go on and say that. It’s much more respectable for him to be honest with me. Maybe I would have said yes already.”

Wanda made a face. “You’re lying, now.”

“Well, of course I am. I've never seen him, and all he wants is a woman to beat around. I’m not that woman, no woman is. Do you think I want to find myself dead within a half year of being wed?” There was a sharp knock on your door.

“He wouldn’t kill you. He wouldn’t gain these assets after your death,” Wanda said softly, understanding that you were about to finish the conversation. “He must be truly desperate to pay ou two tons of gold. That could help nearly anyone out of a pickle, and it would certainly pay off some things back at the farm.”

You knew that. But the truth was… you held a certain amount of irrational and rational disdain for your family. You knew that some of it was warranted just off of the way humans worked in general, but others weren’t. You knew for a fact that a part of you would always be bitter about the way that no one fought hard enough for you not to be taken from your home. You knew that a part of you would be bitter because they took the money that your late husband had offered them, like you were the fattest, most desirable pig in the pen. And there would forever, and ever, be a part of you—if not all of you— that would be angry about your wedding night.

Half of your family showed. The other half came, took you to a back room, and cried. They cried on your night of terror, and you comforted them. It was the one time where you truly needed your mother and her maternal instincts, the one time you needed your brother to teach you some moves that could hurt a man if you needed them. And they either weren’t where you needed them, or weren’t what you needed them. Both truths hurt the same.

“My family doesn’t need money,” you settled on saying, swallowing the burning that came with thinking about the people you shared blood with. “If they needed it, they would ask.”

“Your father is a proud man, he wouldn’t set that pride aside. Especially not to ask one of his own daughters for money.”

“Well, let that be their problem,” you said, although your harsh words weren’t as impactful because of the tremor in them. “I won’t marry Lord Rumlow.”

Wanda leaned forward a bit, and she took both of your hands in hers as the knocking grew louder. She looked you in the eyes, just the way one true friend looked at another. With the same ferocity in her voice as the time when she assured you that no one was going to force you to give up your rights to ladyship, her next words were no louder than a whisper. “And no one will make you.”

Your eyes almost grew watery as you held her hands, feeling the purity of the bond you shared with her surging. “Thank you.” You looked towards the door and let her hands go, uttering a soft command.

Pietro stood there with his arms crossed and a flushed look on his face. He cocked his head to the side at the sight of you and Wanda hovering over a broken open letter, and took a few steps forward. It was upside down, so you turned it his way so that he could read it easier, and the second he recognized the handwriting, he groaned.

“I think I can assume what this is,” he rolled his eyes, and he picked it up and walked over to the fire. When you’d said nothing, he tossed it in and the three of you watched it burn. “I came to tell you that our little knight is strange.”

“How so?”

“Well, she's writing.”

You furrowed your brows. “Writing?” You repeated, remembering her saying that she grew up poor. Most commoners had no idea how to read or write. You only learned because you had to learn when you married a lord. And even if knights had the ability to read and write, they hardly did. Words had very little value to a man who could wield a sword.

But Natasha Romanoff was no man.

“What on earth would she be writing about?” Wanda asked, leaning against the desk. “I wonder if she’s required to write a review on her treatment.”

Pietro gave a short but genuine laugh. “She’s probably writing down terrible things about you to give to the king after she returns home,” he joked, and Wanda cracked a smile, but you couldn’t find it in you to laugh.

“I couldn’t care less about a review of my hospitality or lack therefore of,” you drawled.

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Yes, you do, because you’re a kind person.”

“But she is not.” You felt bad for saying the words that you said not even seconds after.

“We don’t know that,” Wanda reasoned softly. “Actually, I happen to know that she’s quite nice. And she’s level headed and very smart, from what I can see. She’s no man with a little praise under his belt, that’s for sure.”

“So, she’s not boastful.” You said. “That’s good. But I don’t see her and I sharing more interactions than what we need to.”

“With all due respect, Lady Y/N,” Pietro said, leaning forward with that characteristic smirk of his plastered over his face. “You are very dramatic. You always have been.”

You could hardly even pretend to be offended. “That’s not true.”

“It is,” Wanda said quietly, though not fearfully at all. “You are always dramatic, and then things work out.”

Wanda was right. She very much was, actually. Things like the river nearly drying up and crops rotting too quickly and other things that were completely out of your hands terrified you. The things that you couldn’t control made you irrational and erratic, and that was probably your worst fault. You did the same with things you could change, only with worrying. Something as simple as an apology could fix something, but you would sit on giving the apology for hours, sometimes even days.

That night, when it seemed like everyone else was fast asleep and dreaming sweet little images, you put on slippers and walked right outsides, your guards not even asking you where you were going. You walked right out of the side doors and into the garden, humming quietly to yourself as you walked through the entrance of it with your pails of water.

It was quiet besides the noise of bugs chirping, and the occasional flap of wings from birds above. Even your humming had tapered off, and it felt like you could have been able to hear things from miles away. You smiled in the crisp air as you bent over to water a rose bush, a soft affirmation towards the red flowers when you saw how pretty they looked in the moonlight. When you stood back up and turned your head around, you gasped in fright and tumbled towards the ground.

“Shit,” a hand caught your arm and the other was on your shoulder as your chest heaved, adrenaline rushing from being so frightened. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you saw me.” It took you a second to see the face of the woman speaking in the moonlight, but when you saw it was the knight, you sighed.

You were set back on two feet, and then Natasha took a step backwards. “Why are you out here?”

She shrugged. “It’s pretty.” There was a stretch of silence as you waited for her to say something, anything else. “It’s safe.”

A part of you was angered by that statement. Yes, the gardens were safe. Of course they were, they were your safety! They were your place that you went to when you felt like nothing was in your control, like your own decisions weren’t yours. Nothing could hurt you in the gardens, and plants couldn’t talk. They held every secret that you could ever tell, they held every tear that you never shed in front of another, and they saw every emotion that you were too stoic to show in front of others. They were the one place that you could get peace. And now the knight has ruined it.

But on the other hand, you were proud of yourself for creating something that someone else can admire. You created something that someone else could be free in, and in a way, that was amazing. And that hand was outweighing the other.

So, you said, “I’m glad it feels that way.” You cleared your throat softly when you realized that you were speaking to her the way you spoke to the twins. “I created it as my own safe space, so I’m glad someone else thinks of it that way, too.”

There was a short yet heavy silence between you and Natasha, and then you saw her turn to face you, her eyes burning a hole into the side of your face. “I know you’re not very excited to have me here, but I’m here. So we can at least try to be cordial.”

“Is that not what we’re being?” You asked, not even taking your eyes off of the moon. “I thought we were even being a little friendly.”

“It would be nice if it lasted.” Natasha muttered, and you nodded your head.

“I don’t know if I offended you with the question about whether or not your father approved your knighthood,” you said, sighing. “I assume that I did. And if you carry around that offense, then I apologize. I don’t like talking about my own father, but you couldn’t have known that.”

“You do not need to be forgiven,” she states. “I apologize, as well.”

“And it’s not that I don’t want you here,” you started, already cursing yourself for going into what she had said not even a full minute earlier. You were tense as she waited for you to continue, but you just shrugged and sighed. “Just know that that’s not it.” Something reached toward you out of the corner of your eye, and you finally turned your head to look at her.

She was… she was nothing short of gorgeous. You were taller than her, so you looked down at her just a little bit. Her red hair looked more brown than anything, and her blue eyes were pale and still as beautiful as they were during the day. There was the smallest hint of a smile on her face, nervous almost, as you looked down at the arm that was reached out your way. The moon was shedding you both its white light, and it primarily rested right where her arm was extended, her palm lord and turned to the side.

She wanted to shake hands with you. Shaking hands was seen as archaic, and knights certainly didn’t touch ladies unless they were assisting them. But, you knew by now that Natasha was not the typical knight. One of her fingers twitched, and you realized that she was just waiting there, her hand hanging in the air, like a gavel ready to drop at any moment. And quickly, almost enough to make the other woman startle, you took her right hand in your own and shook it twice, keeping your eyes right on hers.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

******

hiiii guys! still establishing things here with this chapter, but when things kick off, they are going full speed. i already love this fic, and i can’t wait to put all my ideas down for it as the finished product! i hope you guys liked it, and if you did, please show her some love! i have a little taglist building up, so here it goes!

@normanijauregui @fayhar @8plasma @procrastinatingsapphictrash

@slut-for-nat @dontmindmejustreading @swords-are-cool

@200605chaeng @thescottishavenger @antidaytime @jenny-song @madamevirgo @natasha-danvers @drdarcy-lewis @blackxwidowsxwife

#natasha romanoff fluff #natasha x female reader #natasha romanoff series #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff angst #marvel fanfic #knight!natasha #lgbtq #gay!natasha #marvel au #natasha romanov x reader #natasha x fem reader

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amethystroselilith · 3 years

Text

If Lost Return to the 11th Harbinger (Babysitter Childe ft. Chilumi)

Finally, I get to write my first Chilumi fic! Hard to find a peaceful time to write cause of family demanding attention haha

~~~

SUMMARY: In which Childe has to babysit 3 girls that means a lot to Lumine

Can also be read in ao3: here

“You know, sometimes, I think he’s doing it on purpose.” Childe sulked, wrapping his arms around Lumine’s waist in an attempt to ditch her plans for the day and spend it with him instead.

The bed looks cosy right now and Childe would pretty much like for Lumine to get back in there with him and maybe lure her into various activities they can play on the sheets.

Lumine chuckled, “I’m sure Zhongli doesn’t mean that.” before running her hand through his hair, letting him hold her for a while, a warm feeling blossoming on her chest as she watched them cuddled together in the mirror she was using to get ready for the day.

She wouldn’t admit it, but feeling Childe’s bare chest against her back makes her just want to stay with him a bit longer, but unfortunately for her lover, she knows how to control herself.

“Yeah? You really think he didn’t plan to tag you along with whatever rites he has to prepare whenever I’m in Liyue?” Childe huffed, burying his face against her neck.

“People don’t schedule when they’ll die, Childe.” Lumine rolled her eyes.

“Can’t he find someone else to help him?” Childe pouted up at her, displaying the best puppy eyes he could put on.

“Hm, didn’t really ask.” Lumine shrugged, earning a whine from her clingy lover.

“You mean we could’ve thrown someone else with him? But you didn’t ask?” he huffed.

“He invited me to help. I accepted. Besides, he helps me a lot during my stay here, it’s just fair to help him back. May I remind you he also pulled some strings to have you here without any Milleliths watching your every move?” Lumine hummed.

Childe rolls his eyes, “I’m pretty sure you could’ve convinced them to leave us alone, you’re a hero here, they know you kicked my ass, they trust you and all.”

“Same hero that’s dating the same man who almost destroyed their city.” Lumine rolled her eyes, “I’m pretty sure they’re a bit wary of me as well ever since you decided to shout we’re officially together in public.”

“First of all, that’s to declare I won against all my rivals and they should fuck off.” Childe shrugged, “Second… I mean, how could they blame you? I’m charming as fuck.” Childe snickered.

“Right. I’m out.” Lumine said as she unwraps Childe’s arms off her.

“Ojou-chaaannn…” he whined as he tries to pull her back, “It’s the truth, come back.”

Lumine was about to say something back, but a knock on the door caught their attention.

“You think he’ll take Paimon if I throw enough mora on them?” Childe tried, to which Lumine just chuckled and walked to the door.

“Good morning.” Lumine greeted their guest as she opened the door, “Oh?” her eyes widened in surprise when not just Zhongli appeared, but also three little girls.

“Qiqi brought friends.” Qiqi simply said.

“Onee-chan! Klee and Diona found you!” the excitable girl in red waved, “Diona said she missed you! Me too so we looked for you!”

Diona freaked out, “I-I did not! I don’t care! If she doesn’t want to return to Mondstat and see me then that’s her problem!” she huffed, looking away with a red face.

“You went all the way to Liyue?” Lumine’s eyes widened, “Does… anyone know you two are here?”

“Yea! Kaeya-oniichan!” Klee smiled.

“Oh,” Lumine breathed out in relief that they’re not alone, “So, where is he?”

“I dunno, he was sleepy when I asked him, but he said ‘yes’, so Klee is good, no?” she smiled.

“He’s passed out drunk outside of Angel’s Share,” Diona mumbled.

“But we still asked permission and he said ‘yes’!” Klee argued to avoid getting in trouble.

“No need to worry, Ms Lumine, I have taken care of that. Rest assured that their guardians are aware of their little ones’ whereabouts.” Zhongli intervened when he saw the blonde’s about to have a heart attack.

“I’m glad you found them before anything bad happened.” Lumine sighed in relief, while she knows Klee and Diona aren’t helpless when it comes to fighting, she still can’t help but worry. She’s especially fond of the 3 little girls, protective of them as a mother would be of her child.

“Yea, I recognised Mister during your visit in Mondstat and Qiqi as well! So Klee is good with not following strangers.” Klee nodded with a proud smile.

“Good.” Qiqi agreed, it may not be seen, but she’s also excited with the thought of playing with her friends again, “Play with Qiqi and friends?” she looked up at her with hopeful eyes.

“Ojou-chan, what’s taking so long?” Childe emerged, now wearing a shirt, “Oh?”

“Qiqi brought friends,” Qiqi informed once again.

“Hi! Will you join us in playing too?” Klee asked excitedly.

Childe caught a glint of mischief in Zhongli’s eyes, “Unfortunately, Ms Lumine and I can not join you, but Mr Childe here will be playing with you for the whole day.”

“Eh?!” everyone looked at him with wide eyes, additional pouts from the 3 little girls.

Zhongli just chuckled before kneeling at the little ones’, “Ms Lumine and I will need to take care of some urgent errands, but we will try to finish them as fast as possible, but for now, will you be good for Mr Childe?”

~~~

And just like that, Zhongli had dragged Lumine away for whatever errands he has to do, leaving Childe with 3 innocent eyes looking at him curiously.

Childe hasn’t been around much whenever Lumine visits Mondstat, it’s always been the usual party of Lumine, Qiqi, and Zhongli since Childe still has duties to fulfil for his Queen. Duties that would make things complicated for his relationship with the Honorary Knight, but he believes that as long as they work together, not hiding dirty secrets from one another, they may be able to find a peaceful resolution for all parties.

But that’s something he has to think of for another day, today he has to entertain three little girls.

Three little girls that Lumine holds dearly, and for some reason, Childe feels a bit pressured in trying to win their favours, well Qiqi should already be won with coconut milk and the fact that they both work together in Lumine’s main party, but he’s not too familiar with the other 2 besides Lumine and Qiqi’s story.

Klee seems to be easier to win over because of her energetic and friendly nature, Diona however, may take a bit of work with her shy and independent personality.

But they’re still kids. Childe has experience with kids, his siblings love him, so this shouldn’t be too difficult, right?

“So, do you guys have any games you want to play?” he asked after watching the 3 finish the last of their breakfasts.

Klee pursed her lips, “Well, we were supposed to play house but, Mr Zhongli and Lumi-oneechan are gone so we don’t have a mama and papa anymore.”

“Ahaha, why are they mama and papa?” Childe laughed through gritted teeth.

“Are they not Qiqi’s mama and papa?” Klee tilted her head.

“No.” Qiqi answered, “But Lumine can be.” she hummed, “No papa though.”

“Ah, well, ojou-chan and I are very close-”

“But I guess Zhongli can be papa, he gives Qiqi flowers.” the zombie child hummed.

A vein popped in Childe’s forehead, “Ah, Qiqi-chan, I give you coconut milk too, remember?”

“But you’re always gone.” Qiqi shrugged.

Childe frowned.

“Ah! Kaeya-oniisan can be our papa?” Klee added, “He’s the bestest!”

“He’s always drunk, he won’t spend time with us.” Diona huffed.

“Diluc-”

“No.” Diona hissed, ears and tail raising.

“Yeah, he’s weird.” Klee nodded, “He doesn’t smile. Weird.”

‘Just how many men does ojou-chan know?’ Childe’s eye twitched.

“I guess Zhongli is papa?” Qiqi proposed in their little meeting.

“Ahaha, I mean, what about me?” Childe smiled since apparently not smiling will make him weird according to Klee’s logic.

The three looked at him, eyes focused, judging him thoroughly until Klee perked up.

“Does Mr Childe have a huge crush on onee-chan?!” the red girl gasped excitedly.

“Ah, you caught me, you’re a very observant girl.” Childe went along, just glad that he’s getting acknowledge as a potential papa for their mama.

It doesn’t really make sense since he’s the one dating Lumine, but being ignored by the three girls as a candidate as a papa just doesn’t settle well in him. Especially losing to Zhongli… he may have tricked him once, but there’s no way in hell Childe’s going to lose to him again.

Even as a hypothetical father figure to these girls.

“Hm, well if you want to date Lumi-oneechan, then you have to go through us!” Klee declared with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“I suppose you’ll be a better boyfriend than that drunkard captain and evil Diluc.” Diona shrugged.

“If you become Qiqi’s papa, then will I get more cocomilk?” Qiqi asked with hopeful eyes.

“Eh?!” Klee protested, “We have to give him tests first! Like… like how the prince has to go through challenges to get the princess’ hand!” she huffed.

“Okay. A cocogoat, please. Thank you.” Qiqi nodded.

“A giant Jumpy Dumpty!” Klee’s eyes sparkled.

“Destruction of Mondstadt wine industry!” Diona requested.

‘What the actual fuck…’ Childe gulped.

~~~

Childe likes to pride himself as an ‘amazing storyteller’.

His finest work is “Snezhnaya’s Greatest Toy Seller”.

He just released 3 new stories;

“Unfortunately, the Cocogoats have to be Kept in a Special Cocomilk Production Place to Spread Cocomilk Joy”

“Oh, Have You Not Heard of the Secret Survival Rule? A Giant Jumpy Dumpty, Leads to Confinement Solitary”

“Destruction of Mondstadt Wine Industry Will Make The Good Lord Barbatos So Mad He’s Going To Destroy Us All”

The 3 girls are in awe as he tells an elaborated story, each nodding in understanding, though he’s pretty sure Qiqi will most likely still look for her cocogoat, Klee will still create a huge bomb, Diona will still try to destroy the wine industry in Mondstadt.

Childe wonders what kind of environment Mondstat is that turned Klee into a pyromaniac and Diona having such strong ambitions…

He’s going to beg Lumine to take him there soon.

“That’s so pretty, Mr Childe!” the three awed as Childe finished weaving a flower crown made of Violetgrass.

“A pretty flower crown for a pretty princess.” Childe smiled placing the crown on Qiqi, who was beaming at the new hair accessory, hugging her hat tightly to her chest.

His little sister had always loved flower crowns, and with some random flowers he found nearby, Childe had made one in hopes of impressing the girls. He was testing it on his head when it immediately attracted Qiqi’s attention. With some spare Violetgrass she has with her, she shyly asked if Childe can make her one too. The pretty little crown on Childe’s head had also caught Klee’s and Diona’s attention by the awed look on their eyes, and Childe offered to make one for them out of the flowers that catch their eyes.

“Thank you…” she smiled shyly, carefully checking if the crown is secured on her head.

“Me next! Me next!” Klee jumped, plopping some silk flowers she gathered around Wangshu Inn on Childe’s lap.

“Oh, these will be very pretty as well.” Childe complimented, earning an excited squeal from Klee, “Have you found some flowers you like as well, Diona?” he asks.

The catgirl blushed, turning away, “I don’t want one anyway.” she huffed, crossing her arms.

“Hm?” Childe frowned a bit, he was sure Diona was also excitedly looking around, but then it hit him, there was not a lot of choices for flowers around Wangshu Inn, and it looks like she wants a unique one as well and with only Silk Flowers nearby, she came back to him empty-handed and disappointed.

She can also feel the disappointment coming from Qiqi and Klee, who had been talking about taking pictures with their flower crowns with Childe’s Kamera.

Childe’s face softened, “Is it because there are not enough flowers that you like nearby?”

Diona just looked down in embarrassment, ears flat on her head and tail wrapping around her leg.

He just chuckled, “Well, don’t worry, there’s a village here with some glaze lilies nearby, maybe you’ll like those?”

“T-that’s still far though…” Diona mumbled.

Childe chuckled, “Don’t worry about it, I know a fast way to get there.” he said hydro vision glowing.

~~~

Despite Diona’s displeasure with water, she ended up having fun sitting on Childe’s shoulder as he literally rode the waves to Qingce Village, the other two clinging on both sides of his waist, secured by his arms wrapped around them protectively.

The girls giggled as Childe softly landed them on the flowery field. Their entrance would’ve given them weird looks, but Childe had already done this a couple of times with Lumine. It’s one of his favourite moments to spend with Lumine, they would just chill in the flowery area, Childe’s head on Lumine’s lap, his hair being played with while Lumine sings softly, Glaze Lilies blooming beautifully.

The thought sends a warm feeling in his chest, smiling softly at the thought of being lucky that the blonde made him a bigger part of her life.

“They’re beautiful!” Diona’s excited gasp pulled Childe from his thoughts.

“Well, then go and pick them while I’ll work on Klee’s crown.” Childe smiled before sitting down on the flowery field.

The three nodded and began collecting the flowers. Childe checked his surroundings first to make sure everything’s safe before taking his eyes off them.

Childe was halfway done with Klee’s crown when he noticed that it suddenly got too quiet. His head raised, heart stopping when the 3 girls are nowhere in sight.

He rose to his feet and began searching through the fields, hoping that they’re just hiding within the flowers.

He started panicking when he can’t find them. Not only are these children his responsibility right now, but he’s sure his beloved ojou-chan will murder him if there’s even just a small scratch on them.

“Qiqi, Diona, Klee!” he shouted as he searches, cursing under his breath when there’s no villager nearby to help him.

A patch of frost caught Childe’s eye.

Qiqi and Diona are cryo users, and it’s a high possibility it’s from them. There’s a burning patch just ahead of it, and Childe’s certain it’s from Klee.

The relief within him didn’t last long when a realisation hit him.

If they’re using their vision, it must be because they’re fighting someone.

And Childe needs to move fast.

~~~

Childe followed the tracks, his pace increasing as soon as he heard even the softest sound from the three.

As soon as he reached closed enough, his hydro daggers appeared on his hands. It has to be treasure hoarders.

He jumped in the area, a clever phrase in the tip of his tongue.

“Mr Childe!” Klee cheered.

His eyes widened, there was no treasure hoarders insight. Just the 3 girls with a mora weasel in Qiqi’s hand.

“...Wha…?” he stared at them in shock as his daggers slowly disappeared.

“We caught a mora weasel!” Diona said proudly.

“Oneechan always runs after them so we thought we’ll help her,” Klee explained.

Childe took a deep breath, relief washing over him as he lives for another day for escaping his lover’s wrath, “I understand that you want to help her, but please don’t run off like that without me, okay?” he gently smiled as he walks to them.

“It runs too fast,” Qiqi said, raising the animal to Childe.

“Are we in trouble?” Klee asked in worry, “We just want to help.” she said looking down.

Childe chuckle, “I’m just glad you all are safe, but please let’s avoid doing that next time, alright? Liyue is a bigger place than Mondstat so it’s quite easy to get lost.” he explained before patting her head.

He then took the weasel from Qiqi, retrieving the mora before letting the animal go, “Now, why don’t we get back and finish your crowns, yeah?”

They smiled and followed Childe back to the field.

~~~

It was late at night when Lumine got back to Wangshu Inn thanks to Zhongli’s high standards when picking the materials for the rites. Paimon hadn’t even bothered staying around when it started getting late, making an excuse about meeting Xiangling for an important taste testing.

Though the whole experience wasn’t bad, she was just worried about how Childe can handle looking after the three alone. Zhongli assures her that Childe is probably experienced looking after children since he’s from a big family. Which worked and all, but she also remembered how busy Childe could be from that experience with Teucer, what if they run off when Childe wasn’t looking?

Zhongli shut that down by reminding her that the three are vision holders and Lumine just huffed and pouted, but agreed.

She opened the door to their room, careful with her steps assuming Childe must be asleep.

When she opened the door to their room, she can’t help but have her heart melt at the sight.

Three little girls are asleep on their bed, a sleeping Childe sat on the chair beside the bed, a forgotten storybook on his lap.

With a soft smile, she made her way to Childe, chuckling softly when she caught glimpse of a photograph on the side table.

It was of them 4 posing for the camera, each has a flower crown adorning their heads.

“Ojou-chan?” a tired voice called softly.

“Look like you all had fun.” she smiled warmly.

Childe returned the smile, pulling her gently on his lap. His arms quickly wrapped around Lumine’s waist, face nuzzling against her neck. Lumine sighed in relaxation, leaning back and running her fingers through his hair.

“I’m guessing they liked you a lot they decided to sleep over?” she teased.

Childe chuckled, “More like the Knights were a bit busy to get them, and sent a letter to apologise for the inconvenience. Klee and Diona don’t seem to mind though, and I’ve never seen Qiqi excited for having her friends stay for longer.”

“Hm, well that shouldn’t be an issue, we can bring them home ourselves tomorrow, I do have some things to go over with Jean.” Lumine hummed at the thought.

“Do you think they’ll welcome me warmly?” Childe teased.

“If you behave.” Lumine rolled her eyes.

“Shame. I was planning on picking a fight against the Cavalry Captain and the Dawn Winery owner.”

The blonde shifted to face him, her eyes glaring, “You will not. Why would you want to in the first place?”

“I heard they’re great opponents.” Childe just smiled, hiding the jealousy from Klee’s story about how these men had also shown interest in his beloved ojou-chan.

Lumine rolled her eyes, “I’ll make sure to tell Zhongli to keep an extra close eye on you.”

“I’ll fight him too.”

“Promise me you’ll behave and I might just invite you in the shower.”

“Bold of you to assume I won’t do it anyway,” Childe smirked.

“Behave and you’ll be thoroughly rewarded after.”

“Oho, what reward are we talking about?” he grinned.

Lumine just chuckled before unwrapping his arms off of her, “Depends on how good you will be.” she smirked before heading to the shower.

Childe grinned before following after her.

Deciding that he’ll just pick a fight with said rivals another time.

#chilumi #genshin impact

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pocketsizedquasar · 3 years

Text

miscellaneous 199 thoughts let’s go!

• god that entire Jon and Martin conversation absolutely wrecked me. The “I’d understand if you hate me” and the immediate and emphatic pushback on that idea, on the idea that Jon could ever hate Martin. The I want you to save yourself, I want you to believe you are someone worth saving. The little laugh about angela! Jon and his fantasies about them being together in a different world! Martin and being able to acknowledge that as things were between them, they wouldn’t have have worked out. Love as a choice and not as a given. Martin’s “I listened to those tapes” (and honestly his tone & the way jon didn’t seemed surprised in reaction makes me believe they’ve had that conversation before tho I know other ppl read it differently). The reiteration of their promises. Jon’s never ending guilt!!! AND THE CRYING god damn I don’t think we’ve ever actually heard Jon cry? AND MARTIN IMMEDIATELY GOING TO HOLD HIM thank you martin for doing what we all wanted in that moment

• the fact that there’s absolutely no right choice here, and all the careful consideration of all the implications. Jon and suggesting that they just end it all faster, that it might be better that way (absolutely read like someone who is and has been suicidal for some time and gOD I want to hold him), that “ending it quickly might be a kindness”

• i do understand where everyone is coming from and I don’t blame any of them at all for their reactions to the situation, but I also completely understand Jon’s bitterness at realizing they’d all decided and his absolute unwillingness to do this, because none of them really understands the position he’s in. it almost feels a bit like the end of ATLA where everyone’s trying to convince aang to kill the fire lord but 10x more guilt and self loathing. None of them have spent the past 38 episodes literally feeling the whole of humanity’s suffering and having pretty much nothing to convince them that they aren’t the cause of it. Because at the end of the day he’s the one who has to pull the trigger. And he’s already (in his eyes) ended one world, how can he be expected to end others?

• and I LOVE how complicated and varied everyone’s reactions are. I LOVE melanie’s “we can’t be responsible for hypothetical people’s actions” and Georgie’s “maybe we’re just another link in this chain” I just. Really love everyone’s wildly differing opinions and all that they’re forced to consider

• Georgie and Jon getting to talk ,,, god that was so sweet and just as needed as Jon and Martin’s conversation and...I really really love georgie y’all I love her offering condolences for the situation and her “What, because you weren’t able to outsmart the literal embodiment of manipulation and scheming?” and her telling jon it’s not all his fault even if he doesn’t believe it. I just love her sm

• if Martin does actually get to kill jonah/Elias it will be SO SATISFYING. this is the guy whos technically worked at the institute the longest and who elias regularly derided and belittled as useless or naive and stupid. I love the idea of the man Elias thought was nothing getting to deck his shit. “Make it hurt” “oh I will” king shit!!! Martin king blackwood!!!!!

• the Fucking Fabric Rustles y’all

• this episode was golden and in retrospect it honestly made me a bit more upset abt last episode, bc I feel like (like I said last week) 198 could’ve had a brief Jmart conversation abt their fight (smthn I feel like was needed and GOD DAMN I WAS PROMISED AN “APOLOGY TO MY BOYFRIEND” I WANT ONE) and it would’ve. Made the conversations this episode feel that much better u know? It does make the momentum drop from last ep feel that much more out of place. A lull before the chaos is fine but that much of a drop still feels off to me.

• still upset, as I was after 197, abt how it does seem to just be fact (or at least, taken as such by the characters) that the web (& the end I guess) is for some reason the exception to the rule of the fears being unknowable and non-sentient in recognizable ways but that’s more a personal gripe with the worldbuilding than with this episode. This ep more just cemented what I’d hoped wasn’t true

• god I wanna give Jon a hug

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chibinekochan · 3 years

Text

How to become a Demon Ruler 109

Part: 01 I 02 I 03 I 04 I 05 I 06 I 07 I 08

GN. Reader insert

taglist: @ayesha95 ; @nomnomcupcakesworld ; @fex-phoenix ; @depressed-bixch ; @kitsune-oji

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

With a slight spring in my step, I head to dinner.

"Good evening Diavolo and Barbatos." I happily greet them both.

Barbatos gives me his signature smile.

Diavolo lights up as soon as he sees me. "You look like you had a great time."

"Yeah, I was a bit nervous, but I think I made my first friend." I smile with some pride.

"That's great to hear. To be honest I was a bit worried that you might feel lonely." Diavolo looks like a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

"I'm very happy for you. Even when I hope you choose your friends more carefully." Barbatos sighs just a bit.

My guess is, that Mammon is a bit of a troublemaker. "There is no need to worry. I mean I have you and Barbatos. I only know you for a few days, but you are both very dear to me." It's a bit embarrassing to say out loud.

Both seem equally surprised by my words.

"It's the greatest honor to be regarded as your friend." Barbatos is the first to respond. It's a bit hard to tell his true thoughts, but he looks very happy to me.

"I feel the same way. I hope we will become even closer. It's funny to think that it's not even been a week yet, but I can't even imagine the castle without your presence." Diavolo’s smile seems to glow even brighter than usual.

I might need sunglasses at this point.

Despite this, his words feel warm inside my chest. "I feel the same way. I think I never even realized how lonely my life truly was."

I smile a bit sad but also happy at the same time.

Then I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Worry not, your days alone are over." Barbatos’ words are unusually tender. My smile brightens at his words.

"I hug him. Who could say no to him?

Barbatos chuckles behind me. This must be a very strange sight, to be honest.

I don't mind since hugging Diavolo feels much better than I expected. He is very warm, much like his big hands.

I bet I could use my whole human strength, and he wouldn't even wince. He might even enjoy a good bear hug, maybe next time.

I let go of Diavolo, who kind of looks like he wants more hugs but doesn't say a word. Instead, he just smiles at me.

"Well now, where we are even you should finish today's work." Barbatos is back to smile as usual. Diavolo sighs.

"Fine, I will go back to work." His shoulders slump.

Barbatos shakes his head.

"I know it's late, but I would recommend that you read a bit in the library. There is much to learn. Especially with our tight schedule." Barbatos talks gently to me.

"You are probably right. I need some caffeine for that." I can only imagine the stack of books that Barbatos wants me to read.

"I will make you some. Please go ahead." Barbatos still has some tasks to do, and I appreciate the offer.

"Okay." So I head to the library and find a menacing stack of books.

After some reading, I hear Barbatos arriving with my fuel.

I give him a thankful look. "I have been waiting for this."

Barbatos chuckles. "If only everyone would be so excited about coffee."

I decide to take a small break and now that I'm alone with Barbatos it's the perfect opportunity to ask him about what Mammon told me earlier.

"Do you want to join me for a cup?" I offer Barbatos the seat across from me.

"I would be delighted." He sits down and pours himself a cup.

I let him drink a sip and then get straight to the topic that's on my mind. "To be honest there is something that I want to ask you about."

"Please go right ahead." He obviously doesn't mind.

"The question I have is pretty personal, so you don't have to answer." I don't want him to be uncomfortable or reveal something that he shouldn't.

Barbatos raises his eyebrows. "There is no need to worry about my comfort."

I can only imagine what he thinks I'm about to ask.

"I just heard something about Diavolo possibly dating Lucifer. I'm curious if that's true?" There is no talking around my question.

Barbatos' eyes widen for a moment, and then he starts to smirk devilishly. "I can imagine who brought you to ask this, but I wonder why you would care about such a thing?"

For the first time since I know him, I believe that he is a demon.

"I care for his well-being." I avoid his gaze.

Barbatos seems to be very amused. "Is that so?" He gazes into my eyes, like doing so will reveal my true thoughts to him. "You don't need to worry about their relationship at all." He is very vague.

"What do you mean by that?" I ask, feeling very frustrated.

"Hmm, that is a good question." Barbatos is just teasing me now. I never thought he would do this to me. I puff my cheeks.

This causes Barbatos to laugh. "I'm sorry master. They aren't dating at all. I'd say they are friends with much baggage." With the biggest grin, he flat out tells me the truth.

"I see, so they have a long history. I guess it would be fair to ask them about that." I feel much better now knowing this.

"Now I have to wonder if you might be interested in the young lord?" He looks at me with a pretty intense gaze.

Now it's my turn to be surprised by a question. I almost spit my drink out.

"Umm, well I mean… it's not like I don't like him, but I barely know him and want to make sure that I don't fall for someone that is already taken." I'd hate wasting my time and emotions on a pointless endeavor.

A smile forms on Barbatos’ face. "That is very smart of you. I would support your future together."

"As much as I appreciate your support, I haven't fallen for him yet and there might be other people that I'm possibly interested in." I feel the need to correct Barbatos on his assumptions.

He looks once again surprised. "I hope you don't include Mammon on that list." He must disapprove of Mammon.

"Of course not. I'm not known to fall easily for people." I shake my head. Not only that, but I have only seen Mammon once after all.

Barbatos then thinks deeply. "But who else is there?" He doesn't realize the obvious answer. I have always seen him as a very smart, possibly cunning, man. Yet here he is completely oblivious.

I narrow my eyes in frustration. "Look in a mirror."

"Hmm? You couldn't possibly mean…" Barbatos looks utterly and completely lost. I wonder if he looked like this when I hugged him earlier.

I sigh deeply. "Believe it or not, but you are on that list." I can't even really call it a list with two people on it.

Barbatos almost seems to gasp for air. "As flattering as this is, please reconsider. I'm no worthy match for someone of your standing."

"Just because I got forcefully adopted doesn't make me royalty, but I apologize for making you uncomfortable." I assume that he simply wants to shoot me gently down.

"You are royalty in my opinion, and I appreciate your consideration. I simply have to think about what is best for your future. I'm merely a humble servant and as such completely unfitting to be your partner." Barbatos sounds completely logical. I'm unsure how to feel about him seeing me as royalty.

"I don't care what other people might think about whom I love or not. To me, it's only important that we are a great match. Of course, I understand that you might not be interested in me." This would only make sense. He might not even be interested in dating at all.

“You are certainly interesting, and I can see you fighting whoever doesn’t accept your relationship. I might be worried about nothing.” He gives me a small smile.

“Of course, besides if, I’m the demon ruler there is no way I'd let anyone tell me who I'm allowed to marry or not. If there is a rule against it, I will simply change it.” I shrug with a small giggle.

Barbatos gives me a chuckle. “I fear for anyone that would dare to oppose you.” His eyes meet mine again. It feels somehow very tender. “Don't forget that I will always be at your side no matter what you wish to accomplish.”

I ponder the weight and meaning of these words. My heart beats faster for some reason.

Before I can give him a proper response the library door opens with great force.

I back a bit off, seeing that I somehow became quite close with Barbatos during our conversation. I hadn't even noticed until this moment.

I then look towards the door and see it's Diavolo. He has his trademark smile and looks very energetic. At least until he notices that I'm relaxing with Barbatos.

"Ah, here you are." He looks at Barbatos, who turned towards him.

"Have you been looking for me?" Barbatos seems slightly surprised.

"No, I was looking for my sibling. Since I finally managed to get everything done." Diavolo boasts without a hint of shame.

"This is certainly an evening to rejoice." Barbatos seems genuinely pleased, but it's a pretty obvious snide remark.

"Yes, it is! I hope I didn't interrupt anything." Diavolo doesn't seem to notice the snaky undertone and just casually sits down next to me.

"No need to worry. We just were talking about their goals after becoming the demon ruler." Barbatos grins slightly.

While not a lie it's not the truth either.

"Really? Now that is something I'm very interested in." Diavolo is seriously interested.

It makes me feel quite guilty. "I was only saying that I'd change rules if they would forbid me from loving whom I wish to love."

Diavolo looks at me in awe. "So you have a potential prospect to marry? You certainly move quickly. Or is it a fellow human?"

"No, there is no such person right now. I had nobody when I lived in the human realm. I was only talking hypothetically." I sigh, I can only wonder how Diavolo thinks of me.

"Ahh, well, I'd abolish any rule that would inconvenience you anyway. So no need to worry about that." Somehow Diavolo looks relieved.

"That is very kind of you. Even when it might be a bit reckless to say." I can picture him just changing rules on a whim without thinking about the consequences.

"I have to agree on that." Barbatos calmly keeps drinking his tea. Without a worry about anything. I have no idea how he can do this.

"You might be right, but if it's for you, I don't care." Diavolo shrugs.

How can he just say things like this?

I look at him, feeling very baffled but also slightly amazed.

I glance at Barbatos looking for some reaction. He just crooks his head and calmly smiles at me, as if to ask me what I want.

"I guess in that case I'll be careful what I ask of you." This seems to be the best solution.

"That is wise of you. You should make sure to gain knowledge as well. So you can request everything you desire without causing havoc." Barbatos casually shoves the stack of books towards me.

"I'd rather accomplish my goals by working hard, but you are right. I need more knowledge for that." I can't stand the idea of getting everything handed to me on a silver platter.

"I'd love to hear more about these goals." Diavolo beams at me with great expecting eyes.

Barbatos is also strangely focused on me. It's pretty embarrassing.

"Well, my first goal is to survive the party and then my education." It's not a grand plan, but it's important.

"That is a very reasonable goal. I'm sure you will be able to manage that. Of course, you still have some learning to do." Barbatos' taps on the books. He couldn't be more blatant even if he tried.

"Indeed I have full confidence in your abilities." Diavolo has zero doubts, which is encouraging, but I also feel the weight of his trust.

I guess I have no choice. "In that case, I will work hard." I look with dread at the books and then take one.

Barbatos smiles brightly, surely a sign of his victory.

"Do your best! I should go and check on the party preparations." Diavolo seems suddenly very motivated.

"You have a great effect on the young lord. I shall support him. Make sure you get plenty of rest." Barbatos beams with pride.

"I will, thank you both." I smile at them, but internally I'm crying.

So I study until my head is mush and then fall into a deep sleep.

I dream of letters chasing me.

#obey me #How to become a Demon Ruler #demon ruler 101 #omswd #obey me!#obey me shall we date #obey me fanfiction #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos

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jaxsteamblog · 3 years

Text

Ambassador

Click here to read the entire fic on AO3

After the daylong comedy of errors, and a scathing phone call from Katara, Zuko and Sokka sat across from each other, staring down at Zuko’s phone. Zuko was sure they were both trying to process everything that happened, but there wasn’t any way for him to begin to understand.

He was still trying to find out if he was going to get in trouble for breaking into the North Pole and breaking his leg. This was completely out of his capacity for logic.

“Could you imagine if it was Katara instead of me who ended up as ambassador?” Sokka asked as they headed toward the private wing.

“Hmm.” Zuko intoned, narrowing his eyes.

“What?” Sokka asked, glancing over.

“I’m trying to figure out if that would be better or worse.” Zuko said.

“I’m going to assume you mean that as a purely hypothetical because you are, of course, thrilled that your best friend is living here now.” Sokka said, shoving Zuko hard enough to make him stumble.

Zuko chuckled, quickly regaining his balance.

“Of course. But I think I’d somehow manage to get even less work done with her around.” He said.

“That’s my sister, dude.” Sokka groaned.

Zuko laughed. But as the night went on, and he lay in bed, he wondered what it would have been like.

“If the Fire Lord is ready,” the assistant said, bowing low, “the White Lotus has arrived.”

Zuko straightened his robe and stood behind his desk, nodding curtly for the assistant to usher in his guests.

When the White Lotus announced the ambassador program, he worried about what kind of impression he would make on the diplomats. He was the traitorous son of the now imprisoned usurper Fire Lord. Iroh tried to assure him that the Earth Kingdom delegate was sympathetic, but Zuko didn’t know how fully he believed that.

And neither Sokka nor Katara had given him much of a hint when he asked about the Water Tribe.

“Good to see you again, Zuko.” A subdued voice said and Zuko roused himself.

“Welcome, Master.” He replied, bowing. Piandao waved his hand dismissively, and Zuko tried to calm down as he straightened.

The other members of the White Lotus, excluding Iroh, trickled in.

When Tenzin came into view, Zuko flinched. He could never figure out where he stood with the Air Nomad leader.

“Fire Lord Zuko, I have the appointments here.” Tenzin said. As the older man walked forward, he held out the dense scrolls; a number of colored seals spilled out from the ends.

“Thank you.” Zuko said, starting to walk around his desk but halting as his assistant intercepted the scrolls. Of course he couldn’t take his own paperwork.

“Fire Lord.” The assistant said, bowing. Zuko withheld his sigh as he took the scrolls.

Cracking open the Earth Kingdom seal on one, he quickly scanned the characters. He had no idea who Mr. Ying was, but maybe that was a good thing. No news was good news.

Setting the open scroll on his desk, he neatly split the Water Tribe seal.

Before he could even read it, his eyes caught on the familiar characters.

“Katara?” He questioned.

“While she does not have a lot of experience,” Tenzin said carefully. “She was appointed by the Avatar herself.”

“No, that’s fine. It’s just…” Zuko cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure. “I was under the impression that Master Katara was enrolled in medical school.”

“She’s doing this at the personal request of the Avatar.” Katara’s voice said from behind the door.

“Master Katara, this is highly inappropriate.” Tenzin said, his voice flat.

“Aw come on, you knew this was going to happen.” Katara replied as she stepped into the room. Zuko’s throat dried and he busied himself with rolling up the scroll.

“That’s why I was against this whole thing.” Tenzin sighed.

“Too bad no one can say no to Thuy.” Katara retorted and then turned her attention to Zuko.

“Hi Katara.” Zuko said, unable to stop his smile.

“Hey.” She said with a bright smile of her own.

Dinner that night passed in a blur. Zuko could barely remember talking to the Earth Kingdom ambassador, instead watching Katara engage with the others at her table. For some reason, it made his heart flutter seeing her laugh with the governor of Hira’a.

After dinner, Zuko offered to show Katara around one of the gardens. She agreed readily, and they went out into the cool night, silence finally finding them.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, when they were far enough away from the palace.

“I wanted it to be a surprise.” Katara said.

“But what about school?” Zuko asked.

“I was failing out.” She sounded pained, and Zuko grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently.

“I’m sorry.” He said.

“It’s okay. Maybe I’ll go back later, to a smaller school. I know I can do it, but those lecture halls were massive.” She replied and they were quiet again.

There was work to be done with her around, and Zuko knew that rationally. But a lot of the work involved the war, and as he looked over at her, he grew concerned.

One of the many projects meant to handle the wartime tragedies was paying out reparations and benefits to former POWs. That included Katara’s own father.

Then there was the subject of her mother.

“The work is going to be hard.” Zuko said.

“I know.”

“And personal.”

Katara stopped him, pulling on his hand to make him turn.

“Do you think I can’t handle it?” She asked.

“It’s not that. I’m worried it’s going to hurt you.” Zuko replied.

Katara took his other hand in hers and gently swung them, looking down at the ground.

“I know it was rash, but I didn’t want to lose this chance.” She said.

“What chance?” Zuko asked.

“Being with you.” Katara looked up at him, a small smile on her face.

Zuko frowned, and her face fell.

“What is it?” She asked.

Zuko took back his hands and held her face, stepping in to kiss her. Katara leaned into him, running her hands up his back. Her lips, her tongue, her breath, everything that he could take in, Zuko took greedily.

When he did step back, Katara reeled, slightly dazed.

“That was nice.” She murmured.

“This isn’t like you.” Zuko said.

“What are you talking about?” She asked, a laugh in the background of her words.

“You would never put me before everything else.” Zuko said, then sighed, looking bemused. “As much as I would love that.”

“Of course I would! I love you, Zuko.” Katara said.

“No, you wouldn’t. You would’ve dropped out when I asked you to if that were true. You would always chase your dream to be a doctor, because you love your people more than anything else.” Zuko countered.

“You are my dream.” She said firmly.

“I am very much not.” Zuko, still holding her face, looked into her eyes. “Plus, you would be terrible at this job.”

“And why’s that?” Katara asked, moving her hands to hold onto his arms.

“Because if I were to work in any sort of proximity with you, I would be trying to get you alone and in a locked room.”

“Zuko!”

“You would be amazing. You would fight for your people here, even as the work eroded you. You would balance out all of the hostile mess in my court. You would be bound to the spirit that surrounds my entire country and that, well,” Zuko smiled and Katara’s face flushed. “I don’t want to explain why that intrigues me so much.”

“So why do you say this isn’t my dream?” She asked.

“Because it’s mine.” Zuko said softly, kissing her again.

Having her near him was everything he could ever want. He wanted to dress her in red and black, with the blue tied neatly at her neck. He wanted her at court, bearing down on his ministers and governors that constantly stymied his work. He wanted her compassion and her vengeance as he made his penance for the war.

There would be long nights as they worked together on these projects. He wanted to see her asleep every single night. He wanted to pin a crown in her hair.

“I am going to marry you.” Zuko said.

“Yes.” Katara agreed.

“Blazes, I’ve never wanted anything so badly in my life.” He said, his voice shaking manic energy.

“Nothing?” She asked, coyly.

“Well…” Zuko replied.

Loud knocking made Zuko jolt upright.

“Fire Lord? Your breakfast is ready.” Someone called through his door.

Sitting up, Zuko rubbed his face.

It had been three days, and he was already back to having these dreams again.

Gripping his blanket, Zuko looked over at the empty half of his bed.

A broken leg hadn’t been that bad, all things considered.

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#jax writes #zutara #zutara month #zutara month 2021 #fanfiction #modern au #the fic that prompts built

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sun-summoning · 4 years

Text

#1 Reunion Note: Canon-compliant; surely geriatric!Zutara happened

When news of Toph’s failing health gets out, Zuko picks Katara up from the South Pole to ensure she can be at their friend’s bedside as soon as possible. They enter Toph’s room, rushing past the grandchildren and their friends. Lin leans against one wall while Suyin sits beside Toph. Zuko grits his teeth at the sight of her, laying in her bed with her white hair sprawled over the pillow. Katara chokes on a sob and sits when Suyin stands.

“Sugar Queen,” Toph croaks. “Is that you?”

“Yes,” Katara replies. “I’m here Toph.”

“And Sparky? Did he come?”

“You didn’t hear me run in?” Zuko tries to smile, but he’s lost so many people he loves in the past few decades. It’s been so long since Aang and Sokka passed. He doesn’t know how he’ll cope after the loss of Toph. And to lose Katara -- Zuko takes a breath. “Losing your touch in your old age, champ?”

“Not at all.” Satisfied with the amount of mourning taking place in the room. Toph sits up. She raises her arms to get a good stretch and soon cracks her back.

“Um,” Opal’s dopy boyfriend says. “Um?!”

“Spit it out, boy.”

“Mother, what are you doing?” Toph bats Suyin away as she tries to ease her back into the bed. With her feet planted on the ground, she can feel her daughters’ concern, Opal and her boyfriend’s confusion, and, as expected, Katara and Zuko steadily growing annoyed.

“Toph,” Katara begins, using a scolding tone that brings Toph back to her childhood.

But Lin cottons on first. “Mother!” she hisses. “Did you...did you fake health issues to bring former the Fire Lord and Master Katara here?”

Toph cackles only a little bit. “You bet I did.”

“Mother!”

“What?” Without Suyin trying to get her back into the bed, Toph stands. She can feel Katara glaring at her and is certain Zuko is looking up at the ceiling wondering why this is still his life. “How did you get here so soon, by the way?” Toph asks Katara. “I thought I’d be stuck faking it in that bed for another week!”

“Zuko and Druk picked me up,” Katara replies dryly.

“Heh, I bet this isn’t the first time you rode Zuko’s dragon.”

“Toph!”

“What are you, twelve?” Katara grumbles.

“Nah, we both know that when I was twelve, my preferred jokes were about you handling his sword.”

“I was handling his sword! He said he’d show me how to use one!”

Toph ignores Katara in favour of waving her hands at the various non-elders in a shooing motion. “Anyone under the age of seventy needs to get out of here.”

Opal has to pull her flailing boyfriend through the door as he raves amount them being the original Team Avatar. Suyin is most certainly cross about this turn of events, but Lin is the only one muttering about it. When she’s finally alone with her two oldest friends that are still alive, Toph plops back onto the bed.

“I thought they’d never leave.” Neither Katara nor Zuko say anything, so Toph sighs. “So are we going to make small talk or should we get straight to business?”

“I happen to like small talk. How is your family?” Katara asks pleasantly, no doubt to spite Toph.

“Oh, don’t be like that, Sweetness.” Toph shrugs. “You just saw my girls. I’d say they’re sufficiently pissed. The grandkids are fine too, I guess. Anyway--”

“Izumi and Iroh are well.”

“--you two were in love when we were younger and you’re still in love now.”

“Toph!” Zuko yells.

“Wow.” Katara sighs. “You’re really doing this.”

“It’s just the three of us now.” The statement renders them all silent. She remembers how devastated Katara was to lose her brother and husband in such quick succession. Toph is happy on her own in the swamp, but Katara and Zuko always surrounded themselves with the people they loved and she worried about them being alone. Sure, Zuko did have his daughter and grandson, but Toph needs them to open their eyes to more. “You guys can be happy now.”

It’s an old argument, really, and one Toph has only ever had with them separately and only a handful of times. She’s also never been so direct. Zuko and Katara love each other. Zuko and Katara have been in love with each other for over half a century and were both too committed to their perceived duties to act on their feelings anymore than looks of longing and a scant few secluded meetings back in their early twenties.

“I was happy, Toph. I am happy.” Katara glances at Zuko. “We both are.”

“It’s not the same,” Toph says.

Neither of them deny this.

“I’m the only person whose ever heard the way your hearts race when you’re with each other.” Toph snorts. “It’s sickening. I can hear it right now.”

“Toph...”

“All I’m saying is that...I don’t know, you guys have my blessing.”

“Thanks,” Zuko mutters wryly.

“And if any of the kids put up a fight, send them to me. They can deal. You’re both super old now.”

“Thanks.”

“You’ve given so much of your lives to saving the world and keeping its peace and making sure everyone else stayed happy. It’s time to be selfish, okay?”

Katara and Zuko stay silent, and Toph knows she’s finally getting to them. She understands why they never wanted to act on their feelings even when the timing was finally right. Still, that’s dreadfully unfair and Toph refuses to let the universe deny them any longer.

They’re both thinking about it, Toph knows. They’re both finally thinking about it.

Zuko breaks the silence. “I always wanted my own tea shop.”

“Your tea has only gotten worse, Zuko,” Katara scoffs. “You can’t have a tea shop.”

“Well how else would we spend all our time, Katara?”

Toph shakes her head at their lighthearted bickering. Katara sits on the chair while Zuko remains on the foot of the bed, the two planning out a not so hypothetical future together. Toph lays back on the bed and closes her eyes. She might not have been as sick as her daughters thought she was, but she’s still old and tired. And although she’s not as young as she used to be, listening to Zuko and Katara finally moving forward all because she played them, Toph knows she’s still got it.

#old zutara got together idc #if pakku and kanna did #then i refuse to believe old zutara didnt #zutara

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acowat · 4 years

Text

You’re My Mate-Elorcan

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They are owned by Sarah J. Maas.

Elide woke up, heart pounding and sweat running down the back of her neck as she shot out of bed, her head swimming with visions of Lorcan, her Lorcan, turning his back to her, his arm around a woman who was somehow faceless and breathtakingly beautiful at the same time.

She thought about laying back down, cuddling into Lorcan’s side, and drifting back to sleep. She wanted to, more than anything. But she knew she wouldn’t fall back asleep, hadn’t fallen asleep after one of these dreams in weeks.

She slid her feet onto the cool stone floor, the chill grounding her in reality for a moment. Elide thought about going outside to clear her head, but a glance out the window showed a summer storm unleashing its torrent on Perranth. The queasy feeling in her stomach reminded her that she’d barely eaten anything since lunch the previous day. The council meeting had run all afternoon and long into the evening, occupied by the needs of the city, of her people, during the rebuilding.

Deciding to head to the kitchen for an early breakfast, Elide slid her slippers on and padded out of the door, careful to shut it quietly behind her, to avoid waking the sleeping giant. As she wandered the hallways of her family’s home, restored to its former glory by the hard work of her staff and husband, the Lady of Perranth couldn’t stop herself from dwelling on her dreams.

For weeks, she’d been having recurring nightmares of her husband wrapped around an anonymous seductress who had turned his head and stolen his heart. At first, she tried anything to distract herself during her waking hours, but in the weeks since she’d had her first dream, Elide had learned that nothing worked, so she succumbed to the anxiety immediately now.

Elide knew she should talk to him about it, about her anxieties that his mate would come along and steal him away from her, from their life together in Terrasen, but their days were so completely filled that she struggled to find the time. She would also be lying to herself if she didn’t admit she was using the rebuilding as a distraction, so she didn’t have to have the difficult conversation with Lorcan.

The warm smell of baking bread, never quite gone from this corridor, snapped Elide out of her thoughts, if only momentarily. She pulled open the wooden door and crept into the dark room, mapping out the counters in her mind as best she could remember. Though she’d spent many hours here when her parents were alive, helping the cooks as much as she hindered them, it had been almost 2 decades since then and her memory failed her occasionally. Like when she misjudged the length of the island and snagged her hip right on the corner, pain flaring up in her joint. Elide’s breath flew out of her in a curse, as she backed into the solid weight of the counter behind her, knocking a pot or two off the ledge as she fell.

She froze against the counter, waiting with baited breath to see if anyone came running to investigate the disruption. When she didn’t hear anything for 30 seconds, Elide stepped carefully around the fallen pots, her eyes finally adjusting to the darkness, and grabbed a loaf of berry bread that was cooling on the counter next to her. She cut herself a slice but froze with the slice halfway to her mouth when she heard the whisper of the kitchen door closing. Elide turned around slowly, eyes wide, feeling guilty, even though she logically knew she hadn’t been doing anything wrong. She was a grown woman now. She was entitled to a late-night snack if she wanted it.

Lorcan slipped silently into the kitchen, his stupid demi-Fae agility preventing Elide from hearing him come down the hall. He raised a single eyebrow at her before plucking an apple out of a bowl and sinking his teeth into it with a crunch. Elide munched on her snack for a second, aware that she shouldn’t get her hopes up about her chances of avoiding an interrogation. Lorcan, for all of his bravado, was very concerned about Elide’s feelings and never let anything even remotely suspicious or unusual slide, if he could help it.

He starts off casually.

“Trouble sleeping?”

Elide shrugged, hoping desperately Lorcan would just drop it. She knew she needed to talk to him, tell him what had been worrying her for so many weeks, but they had been married just 2 months. She didn’t really want to outline her anxiety that he would leave her so willingly someday. That was the worst part for her: no matter how much he loved her or their hypothetical children or the life they’d built together, he would willingly walk away from it all for her, his mate, if she ever found him.

“Elide,” Lorcan started, eyebrows raised and voice promising he would not let it go. “You haven’t slept through the night in weeks. Tell me what is troubling you.”

Elide briefly debated just walking away, calculating how quickly she could get to the door before Lorcan caught her. Even without her limp, she knew she didn’t stand a chance. Lorcan, having finished his apple, crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter, staring unrelentingly at her face. Elide braced her hands against the island and let her head fall, staring at the dark stone. Their stand-off lasted a few minutes, Elide trying to figure out how to put her feelings into words, into something concrete and Lorcan refusing to break the silence.

“This is too good,” she finally whispered.

“What?” His voice cracked through the quiet like a whip.

“This,” Elide finally looked up at her husband, his dark eyes bewildered. She gestures at the air around them. “This is all too good.”

Lorcan, looking taken aback, takes a moment before responding.

“You’re unhappy?”

“I’m too happy. That’s the problem!”

“What the hell does that mean, Elide?” Lorcan yelled back at her, the crinkle between his eyebrows deepening as he stalked toward her. Though she knew it came from a place of frustration, his rage only fueled the irrationally angry parts of her soul, the ones that wanted to lash out at the gods for putting someone in this world who could turn Lorcan from her. He didn’t even have to look down to avoid kicking the pots she’d dropped, it just pissed her off more.

“I’m too happy! The rebuild is progressing faster than we expected, I have friends I can call on if ever I’m in need, and, best of all, I just married the love of my life. So what am I supposed to do when you leave, huh? How am I supposed to just go back to the other things and pretend I’m okay living without you?”

Lorcan backed her into the counter behind her and braced his hands on the cool surface, his arms caging her in. She sank into his chest, the fight leaving her as fast as it had come. He leaned his forehead against hers, his dark hair falling to curtain their faces on either side, his breath fanning across her face.

His voice was unnervingly soft when he replied.

“Elide, I love you so much more than I ever thought possible. Why do you think I would ever leave you?”

She stared into his dark eyes, so expressive when he was vulnerable. Only with her.

“What if you don’t have a choice?”

His mouth raised in a half smile, though it looked more bemused than amused, and he snorted out a breath.

“What are you talking about?”

“What if your mate comes?” Elide felt Lorcan’s body tense under her hands, his chest turning to stone beneath her fingertips. “What if you meet her someday? You won’t stay here, we both know that, as much as we may want it now.”

Lorcan closed his eyes, hiding his expression from his wife for a moment, breathing deeply, before taking her hands in his and pressing a kiss to her soft lips.

“I haven’t been entirely truthful with you, my love.”

Elide’s heart rate skyrocketed, the pounding so loud she was sure Lorcan could hear the shift.

“I’ve already found my mate.”

Her heart, so close to racing from her chest a moment again, plummeted into her feet. Elide closed her eyes, wanting a moment to collect herself--and think of something to say, anything--before she could look at Lorcan again. When she opened them, she found his dark eyes boring into hers, imploring her to understand. She tried for a sympathetic smile, but based on her husband’s reaction, she’d landed on more of a grimace.

She took a steadying breath and found it did little to stem the flow of her thoughts.

“Who is she? Did you meet her in Doranelle? Is she--”

“It’s you, Elide. You’re my mate.”

Her mind was buzzing, thoughts flying through so quickly it made her head spin. She felt elated, she felt confused, she felt angry. She didn’t know how to feel, but her mouth seemed to figure out what she wanted before her mind did: answers.

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Lorcan had the decency to look chagrined, his regret plain on his face.

“I wanted to be sure before I raised your hopes, only to dash them if it wasn’t true. I needed to know before I told you.” Lorcan took Elide’s face in his rough palms and kissed the bridge of her nose. She wrinkled her nose at her husband, and the laugh bellowed out of his chest before he could stop it. “I’ve never been so sure in my life. You are my mate.”

Although she was angry at him for keeping this secret, she couldn’t ruin the moment with anger. She’d punish him later for his omission. Right now, she just wanted to bask in the warmth of him, her mate. Elide pressed up onto her toe to slam her lips against his, slipping her tongue into his mouth when he yanked her closer, his hands on her waist. She felt his hands slide to her butt before he lifted her onto the counter, his hands tightening around her waist.

She wasn’t sure how long they were there, making out in the kitchen like they weren’t a lady and her lord, but when she finally pulled away, his wide grin knocked the breath right out of her, and she couldn’t stop herself from kissing him again.

“Let’s go back to bed,” she whispered against his mouth.

“Thank the gods. I’m still dead on my feet.”

Elide slid off the counter and sauntered away from Lorcan, the rising sun throwing rays of light across the kitchen. She bent over, making sure to take more time than was strictly necessary to return the pots to the counter. She could feel Lorcan’s eyes on her backside as she straightened. She turned her head to look at her gorgeous husband.

“I wasn’t talking about sleeping.”

His groan might have echoed through all of Perranth.

#lorcan #lorcan salvaterre #elide #elide lochan #elide x lorcan #elorcan #lorcan x elide #elide and lorcan #lorcan and elide #tog #throne of glass #kingdom of ash #fanfiction #Sarah j maas #sjmaas #sjm

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imaginethebeautifulworld · 4 years

Note

could i get axis, allies, spain, romano, prussia, canada & hong kong finding out their best friend is ace? this might be a weird request but my dad didnt take it well when i came out earlier tonught and its ok if you dont want to write this one

Updated because I forgot Toni! D:

America:

Alfred lets out a single, surprised "Dude." He then gives you the biggest, brightest smile you have ever seen, warming you from the inside out. "That is so cool!" He has questions, of course, most of them revolving around "How did you find out?" and "Wait, are you telling me you don't think Chris Evans is hot?" Overall, he is a big ball of positivity, though he's much more serious when asking if you wanted to meet up with the local PFLAG sometime. He often attends meetings anyway; there's usually free food, and he's heard some really awesome presentations. Overall though, he is your biggest, most enthusiastic ally, in this and every adventure you two have ahead.

Canada:

Matthew doesn't really have time to process your words, whispered in a sudden rush just as the opening credits for the film were starting, but then he catches on. He quickly shoves aside his surprise at not realizing before; he wants to take the remote from you, barricaded as it is within the depths of your blanket fort, but you have a firm grip on it, gaze riveted to the television. He takes a moment to study your tense frame, notices how nervous you were to tell him. With a soft sigh of fond exasperation, he slides closer to you, lightly elbowing you in the side. When he knows he's caught your attention, he offers a wide smile, a silent affirmation that has you dropping your head into his chest in relief, a soft: "Thanks, Mattie," escaping in a contented hum.

China:

Yao is- in a word- confused. In some ways, he is very much the old man he pretends not to be, and his lack of knowledge about queer history is an indicator of that. At first, he would ask if you meant to become a monk; is this some form of abstinence? When did you decide this? Were you vegan, too? It would take patience to explain it to him in full, and there will be some slip-ups. But he absolutely adores you; with a little time, a lot of patience, and maybe a few conveniently misplaced books, he'll understand. And even in that time before- He's always going to be there for you.

England:

Arthur is surprised. Sometimes your jokes are dirtier than his, and Lord knows you have an eye for attractive people. But thinking back, he's never seen you hold more than a passing fancy in anyone, and every date you were on never lasted longer than a few hours. He can tell you're nervous about having told him, anxiously turning away from him to put all your energy into glaring at the canal water. Gently, he steps closer to you, placing a hand on your shoulder, the acceptance in his gestures. He doesn't bother with words; your sigh of relief is confirmation enough that he doesn't need any anyway.

France:

Francis is flattered that you're confiding in him, and he offers immediate, enthusiastic support. He's touched that you trusted him enough to tell him. He's had several partners in the past who have also fallen on the spectrum, and it made him perhaps one of the more understanding nations. He would ask you if there was anything he could do to support you further, and thanks you for telling him. No matter what, he will always love you for who you are, and treasures your friendship just as much as before.

Germany:

Ludvig was startled when you flopped onto the couch beside him, top of your head just missing his thigh, your admission groaned in a series of hypothetical questions that were all too pointed to be anything but truthful. Gently closing his book to set it aside, he placed his hand on your back, lightly brushing it back-and-forth in what he hoped to be a comforting gesture. He wasn't really surprised; seeing your interactions with others all hinted at it. But, he could tell it was bothering you and makes certain to reassure you, a firm, unwavering presence always by your side.

Hong Kong:

Leon has suspected for a while now. It wasn't necessarily clear from your words or your mannerisms, but there was just something about your vibe that gave him hints. When you brought up the courage to confide in him, confirming his suspicions, he feels an overwhelming sense of humility. He thanks you for confiding in him, fully aware of how hard coming out can be. While he may not personally understand it, he easily accepts it as just another part of who you are. And in his opinion? You're always gonna be a badass, and he has a dozen more pranks he wants to play with you.

Japan:

Kiku is a bit relieved, truth be told. He tries not to show how happy he is to have one of his closest friends also fall on the spectrum, instead focusing that energy into a smile of gratitude, thanking you for telling him. He has never really felt the need to come out himself, having long ago just accepted it as part of who he is. He can't really repress his contentment as you turn back to your otome game, your eyes furrowed in concentration. He makes a note to subtly recommend some ace-positive manga to you, knowing that even a little representation can be a constant reassurance.

Prussia:

Gilbert is honestly confused at first; what on earth is that? He's familiar enough with the meanings for LGBT, but he hasn't heard the term "asexual" before. He's quick to reassure you that he's not trying to be a dick; he's genuinely confused. As you start to explain, he feels his confusion morph into surprise and a bit of relief. He didn't realize there was actually a word for how he felt, let alone a whole community. He gives you a smile, declares that you're still awesome enough to be graced with the honour of his presence before he resumes his game, mentally making a note to do more research on his own.

Romano:

Lovino is... To be honest, he's torn. He's long ago familiarized him with a bunch of orientations- between Felice and Cello he really didn't have much choice in the matter- but oddly enough asexuality hadn't been one of them. The concept is kind of hard to wrap his head around. You aren't interested in sex? Are you serious? He doesn't get it, not really. But, he knows how hard it can be to be open with others, and he appreciates how much you trust him enough to confide in him. He takes your hand across the table- nearly spilling your drinks in the process- and assures you that he's always got your back, no matter what.

Russia:

Ivan is wholeheartedly supportive, taking you mildly by surprise. You had expected him to be a little leery of the concept, perhaps even opposed to it. He won't lie; he's kind of hurt at the assumption and is quick to reassure you that nothing comes in the way of how much he loves you. You're his friend- his closest confidant- and all he cares about is knowing that you're happy and safe, that helping you embrace who you are to feel comfortable in your own skin is his top priority. If there is any sort of fallback to fear, it's his threat to expect an increase of illegal memes, all of them based on ace puns and pride.

Spain:

Antonio is very nonchalant about the whole situation. He takes it in stride as easily as if you were to say it was going to partially cloudy tomorrow, never ceasing the swinging of your hands as you continue wandering the Gothic Quarter. He is very casual with his questions: How long have you known? Have you told anyone else? Upon confirmation to these and the dozen or so other questions he has for you, he simply gives your hand a small squeeze, twirling you as soon as there's enough space in the alley. He wants to make sure you feel comfortable around him, and it's his small way of assuring you that you can always tell him anything.

Veneziano:

Feliciano starts to panic, just a little. Had he overstepped your boundaries? Had he ever made you uncomfortable? You're quick to reassure him, his worrying ironically making the conversation a lot easier. He has dozens of questions for you- all of them revolving more about the specifics. Are you still interested in romance? Are you under the general ace umbrella, or were you possible demi or grey? Did you want him to cancel the blind date he set up for you? If anything, Feli is immediately invested, only wanting to make sure that you always felt loved and safe with him, and promising that you can always tell him anything.

Anon,

I'm sorry it didn't go well with your dad. I know from firsthand experience how hard it can be to come out to someone, and unfortunately, I also know how much it hurts not finding the love and acceptance you had been hoping for.

Please know that you are always accepted for who you are here. My inbox is always open if you ever want to talk, and my ask is always open in case you would prefer to remain anonymous.

Please take care, Lovely. Don't lose hope. <3

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hoovii · 4 years

Text

The Mix Up Part Three

Pairing: Mob!Steve Rogers x OFC (Adrien Bravo)

Warnings: violence, swearing, they’re not in love yet because they just met ya nasties, Bucky and Adrien flirting, mentions of sex but it’s not like- nobody is doing any sex, oh and she’s still tied up so also not good, shirtless bucky i was going to make her and bucky buddies but she bonded with thor in this one somehow, warning section lowkey just turning into my footnotes,

Taglist: @kayteewritessteve @wxstedhexrt @caps-lockdown @scuzmunkie @my-favorite-fics-and-imagines @champagnesugamama @weepingwillow2233 @ellystone

Part One Part Two

“James, you never cease to amaze me.”

Steve finally tore his gaze away from Adrien, and she had to admit she was a little relieved. He intimidated her, and that took a lot, granted he was a feared crime lord so maybe it was in the job description: be scary to look at. Check.

“Uh oh. Pulling out the first name.” Sam leaned into Bucky’s, (James’?) side and whispered. Well, it wasn’t really a whisper but he tried.

“Don’t think you’re off the hook Wilson.”

“Uh oh. Pulling out the last name.” Bucky mocked.

Adrien let out a huff of laughter. Because, holy shit she was about to be killed by guys with the IQ of drunk puppies, and maybe the personalities as well.

“Excuse me, sir,” Suddenly they were all looking at her and they all had the stare. Jesus Christ. “are you going to kill me?”

Steve cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. There was that stare again. Why did it give her shivers? He chuckled before settling on an amused grin.

"No, dear, I'm not going to kill you."

Thank god. At least she could relax a little. She could acknowledge her surroundings in a manner that wasn’t looking at what she thought was the last place she’ll see. She could look at the men who stood before her and holy shit, were they this hot the whole time? Of course, now that she wasn’t worried about imminent death the tight hold she had on her tongue went in the trash to the dump into the incinerator.

“Well that’s a fucking relief, my ass hurts, so maybe if I’m not gonna die, one of you hunks could show me to a more comfortable seat.”

She clasped her hand over her mouth. If she wasn’t going to be murdered before she certainly was now. Sam and Bucky exchanged wide-eyed glances, jaws slack before looking at Steve. Her whole life depended on his facial expression. Would his perfectly smooth skin be wrinkled in anger? Okay, he’s a criminal, maybe picturing how scary his gorgeous blue eyes would be when angry isn’t a good idea. Yeah let’s file that away and put it in the drawer that we never think about along with our eating habits, the fact that the Zodiac Killer was never caught, and our creepypasta phase.

She finally opened her eyes that had, sometime in her fear and embarrassment had screwed shut. He looked amused. Thank god. He has a sense of humor.

“Of course, how rude of me. Come along Miss Bravo.”

Again, her mouth betrayed her. “How am I supposed to follow you when I’m tied up like I’m about to have kinky sex. Which, not going to lie, would really bring up my mood right now.”

So long to her dignity. Steve chuckled and signaled to Bucky to untie the ropes.

“You have quite the mouth on you don’t you?”

“Yeah and I’m pretty good with it too.”

“I’m going to get the lady situated, you two wait, we’re going to have a chat afterward.”

Steve gripped her arm firmly but not so much as to hurt her. That seemed to be a tendency with these guys. Weren’t they supposed to be like monsters? You know, brutal, cold-blooded criminals? Steve was silent the whole walk. He kept his eyes forward and so did Adrien she didn’t even kind of trail behind to maybe check out his ass. She didn’t.

They came to a lovely room filled with lounge chairs and leather couches. Another handsome man stood by the door. Was it a requirement that you had to be hot to be in the mob or something? He was big and bearded and had long blond hair and also a criminal.

“Thor, I need you to watch Miss Bravo here while I attend to some things. I’d rather she be in the office as she’s not exactly mobbed up.”

He turned to face her. “There are food and drinks, just ask Thor. He can get you anything you like. Nobody will bother you in the office, and I will be back to address our situation.:” He said a few hushed words to Thor before exiting.

“Thor, huh?”

He raised an eyebrow at her. Okay, yeah he was a criminal, but like a little flirting never hurt anybody, did it?

“Like the Norse god?”

“Miss Bravo,”

“Call me Adrien.”

“Adrien, I was born during a lightning storm. The storm started when my mother was first having contractions and ended as soon as I stopped crying. Or so my mother said.”

“Well, Thor, I can say with certainty that that is actually very badass”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you here Miss Bravo?”

“Adrien. And that, my friend, is a long-ass story.”

By the end of that long ass story, which took forever to get through because of Thor adding his input and Adrien getting sidetracked, the two were laughing like hooligans. Like absolute madmen. Like nutzos. Like, they were laughing really hard. Every time they would calm down Thor would let out a breathless wheeze causing Adrien to burst into another fit of giggles. If they were being honest neither of them knew why they were laughing anymore. Not entirely. Every now and then Adrien would let out a loud, “Another!” before dissolving into more laughter.

Then the door opened. Adrien once again found herself meeting the intense gaze of Steve. The two tried to hush their laughter. Adrien mumbled out a ‘sorry sir’. Adrien shrugged and made a face at Thor, who let out a boisterous laugh.

“I like this one Boss.”

“Thank you, Thor. I would like to speak with Miss Bravo now. Tell Bucky that he can count the cash now if he would.”

Thor mouthed a ‘good luck’ before exiting the room. Leaving Adrien alone. With Steve. He gestured for her to sit before taking his place behind the desk. “Miss Bravo, I am Steve Rogers. I run this establishment. Now you understand, Miss Bravo, that I can’t just let you walk away from this. It’s a liability.”

“So you are going to kill me.”

“Of course not. We will just need to take measures to ensure our friends at the police station don’t hear about this incident. You understand.”

“Hey boss man, I’ve got bad news.”

Bucky burst into the room. He had tried to appear laid back, but his eyes displayed panic. He threw down a duffel filled with hundred-dollar-bills.

“Buck, we are trying to let Miss Bravo out of here relatively scot-free. How are we supposed to do that when you come running in her with garbage business dealings. Do you want us to have to kill her?” Steve looked thoroughly annoyed.

“No, no, no. I would never want such a lovely lady to die.”

Adrien winked. “Oh, I’m sure you could keep me alive.”

She eyed the bills again. She had never seen so much money in her life, not even on a bank statement. Money like that could pay for braces. Money like that could pay for a lot of things.

“That’s a fat fucking stash of cash.”

“Yes, and it’s all fake. The cash from Rumlow’s payment, it’s all counterfeit.”

Anger flooded Steve’s eyes. It was only for a second, but she never wanted to see it again, let alone be on the receiving end of it. She almost felt bad for this Rumlow guy.

“Could you two, if it isn’t too difficult for you, fetch Rumlow for me. I need to speak with him”

Bucky quickly hurried off.

“Mr. Rogers sir if you don’t mind me asking, do you make that kind of money regularly?”

It was hard not to notice the expensive clothes and lavish furniture. Clearly, somebody had money, and Adrien needed money. Adrien wasn’t averse to breaking the law when it came to providing for her two boys. They were her sons and they were going to get the best damn life they could live.

“That kind of money, when actually paid, is a small portion of the money that we earn. Employees are paid based on time commitment, loyalty, and type of job. But to answer your question, yes, that kind of money is made regularly.”

“So, if someone were to be interested, hypothetically, in a job offer, how would they go about that?”

For a vicious criminal, Steve had a very expressive face. Weren’t these guys supposed to be stoic? Was everything in the godfather wrong? Or perhaps she was just more perceptive than most people?

“I’m an excellent worker with flexible morals and a strong will, and I can fight, and I need the money for my brothers, sir.”

“Well, that’s admirable Miss Bravo but it’s a little more complicated than just signing up. We’ll have to do a background check, we’ll do an interview, a skill assessment. This would of course take several weeks. Here, I have some paperwork you can fill out.”

“Okay, thank you for your consideration, sir. I really have to head home now. I have to take the boys to school in the morning.”

“I’ll call you a car. Perfect timing. Bucky, can you drive Miss Bravo back to her residence? I’ll deal with Rumlow. We’ll be in touch, Miss Bravo.”

He left and Bucky led Adrien to a car similar to the one she was in earlier. It was all very silent as they got in. There was a tension in the air.

“Wow, it’s nice to sit in the front this time.” she tried.

Bucky gave her half a smile. They rode in silence until they reached her house. “Hey, you should put some ice on that.”

She pointed to the blooming black eye he was sporting. There were also several cuts on his face and hands. He probably had several bruises on his torso as well.

“I’ll be fine-”

“Absolutely not. You come inside. I’ll get you fixed up right now.”

She walked around and grabbed his arm, pulling him out of the car and into her apartment.

“Shirt off and sit.”

“Well, at least take me out to dinner first Miss Bravo.”

He still did as she asked, sitting on the island and removing his shirt, confirming her suspicions of further injuries. She grabbed the first aid kit and an ice pack before coming up to him to assess his injuries.

“Adrien. And I might just take you up on that offer Bucky.”

She gave him the ice pack to place on his eye. After cleaning the blood off of his face and stomach it was clear that the only actual issue was a split lip and eye. She was able to apply some Neosporin and butterfly bandages. She kissed the top of his forehead before freezing.

“I’m so sorry, I’m just used to fixing up the boys and, and, and I-”

“It’s quite alright. I should be heading out though.”

“Well, I’ll be seeing you.”

Bucky gave a sly grin before shutting the door on himself.

“You bet your ass you will.”

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roc-thoughtblog · 3 years

Text

Sense and Sensibility Readthrough Part 10

Chapter 13, Pages 54-61

Today I actually paid attention to the meaning of the lyrics to Rolling Girl, and couldn't stop myself from crying. Then, like a sucker, I looked for English covers, and cried again. Oops. Song hits too close to home. Anyways.

Previously, Margaret was the best character. Marianne x Willougby now confirmed beyond reasonable doubt to Elinor, and Mrs. Jennings and everybody else now knows that Elinor has a secret beau. Poor Elinor, and probably poor Edward in advance, too.

Relatedly, two old friends dragged me out last night to witness the rare event of yours truly drinking, which mostly involves me pulling entertaining faces at weak cocktails after a single sip, because alcohol tastes as powerful and godforsaken as nuclear fallout to me, and lingers just about as long on the poor blasted wasteland of my helpless tongue. I don't have a secret beau, but they still did insist on dragging out of me every plausibly hypothetical detail, and then proceeded to try to set me up with the waitress of the night when there predictably turned out to be none. I dearly love my friends, but, Elinor, my point is that I want you to know that I feel for you.

I feel like sometimes I turn these preambles into diary entries. I'm entirely okay with this, though I should probably tag them somehow.

Also, oh my lord, this chapter sure happened, wow.

Readthrough below.

Chapter 13 Apparently things start really evolving now. Exciting. (EDIT: THEY SURE DID)

THEIR INTENDED excursion to Whitwell turned out very differently from what Elinor had expected. She was prepared to be wet through, fatigued and frightened;

Aha, Austenism coming up, first thing.

but the event was still more unfortunate,

Yess called it. So how was it worse? Were there floods? Surprise Edward & Mrs. Jennings meeting?

for they did not go at all.

... my expectations got double-subverted. Well, something is about to happen. I see now why all the details of the coming trip were attached to the last chapter instead of opening this one. They're out to picnic, and;

eager to be happy, and determined to submit to the greatest inconveniences and hardships rather than be otherwise.

I love this line. Anyway, while they're eating, Colonel Brandon receives a concerning letter though; his faces changes colour and he has to leave temporarily, like a really important phone call.

I guess this will be the impetus for change?

Haha, Lady M tries to stop her mother from prying into Brandon's personal business but Mrs Jennings is just not that type of person. Brandon's not really forthcoming and says it's just business in town, but he does have to leave immediately to attend to it.

It sounds really urgent. Him not being present means they can't go to the venue Sir Middleton wanted to use, which was an estate Brandon was related to. He's effectively cancelled the whole party for a business that where apparently, "I cannot afford to lose one hour." He's still not forthcoming on what though.

Willoughby and Marianne make snide comments betting that Brandon has invented the excuse himself to cancel the party because he's a spoilsport. Guys, please. :(

Sir M is very accomodating of Brandon regardless. He's a good-hearted fellow, really, if a little dim occasionally. Aww, Brandon says goodbye to Elinor. That's sweet, I really enjoy their friendship. Help I teared up slightly, I think I'm still emotional from the song. Marianne gets a silent nod. Yeah, I understand.

Anyway, now that he's gone, Mrs. Jennings starts eagerly speculating the reason for his urgency. A "Miss Williams" supposedly.

WHAT

SHE'S HIS DAUGHTER? BRANDON HAS A DAUGHTER? His NATURAL DAUGHTER? She's good enough at least to only reveal the daughter part to Elinor, but, damn. Wow, uh. Wow. People sure gonna bug him about Miss Williams now.

Wait but he's 35 right, so how old is Miss Williams?? When do people have kids again?? Oh my gosh, is Margaret going get a FRIEND HER OWN AGE?? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

"Oh yes; and as like him as she can stare. I dare say the Colonel will leave her all his fortune."

But WHAT HAPPENED? Why aren't they together right now? Why is he attending random parties alone? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Though I do wanna say that does make the Mrs. Jennings' hypothetical Marianne/Brandon pair a bit stranger. Beyond just a man who could be her father, a daughter who could be her sister? That's something alright.

after some consultation, it was agreed, that although happiness could only be enjoyed at Whitwell,

HAHA, I really enjoy these lines. It's the kind of thing where it's not what anyone is intending on meaning, but it's accurate to what's happening in a roundabout way. Anyone everyone goes on a drive instead and presumably Willoughby and Marianne have a very romantic time on theirs.

Another dance in the evening? Is that just what rich people do all day? ... Do rich people still do that all day? Wow, there are like 20 Careys, a family who has now been mentioned twice that I recall and I don't know if they'll be important or just filling up the numbers.

Also I admire and yet detest the seating arrangements haha.

Mrs Jennings -> Elinor -> Willoughby -> Marianne. Willoughby, why you separate the sisters? You don't seem to talk much to Elinor anyway. ... are you trying to hog Marianne? Is that the play? I'm not judging here, I'm just curious. Would be sneaky play.

Despite the general pattern of narrative voice, it is abundantly clear that Elinor is the primary focus here as all the information is exactly and only what passes through her ears; makes the seating arrangement of Mrs Jennings on the other side very clever too, beyond just the charming blocking of having her lean over two people to harass Marianne with her mysterious Romance Sleuthing Acumen. Apparently she has figured out exactly where Marianne and Willoughby have gone on their "drive", and thanks to seating Elinor will now hear too.

HAHA SHE CALLS WILLOUGHBY MR. IMPUDENCE. This and Willoughby calling Elinor saucy, the dialogue really doesn't pull punches sometimes. Apparently Willoughby took her on a tour of his to-be-inherited estate. Elinor pieces together that Mrs. Jennings got the beans spilled from the servants. I told you two! Don't discount the servants! Mrs Jennings sure doesn't! Treat your groom a greater friend, Willoughby, and mayhap the seal of loyalty might have affixed his lips. :'D

Ah, but Elinor is still worried about propriety. Elinor, I love you dearly, but this is most harmless romanticism really. It's not like the horse thing. Haha, aww, Elinor's tactitly acknowledged Marianne’s relationship and intentions with Willoughby, and Marianne does that thing where she sort of lost the argument but is too pleased to really turn it around.

Haha, Marianne returns later to describe the actual house she saw with great enthusiasm. She's just that excited, how very Marianne to gush so; she might also be gloating juuuuust a little over having seen the house and expecting to inherit it. :'D Very amusing; poor Elinor to have to listen to it though, deliberate or not. Her own beau is so far away, and his own inheritance dicier. Must sting a bit.

AaaaaAAAAAAAA this has been my hour but I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MISS WILLIAMS. I would have continued onto the next chapter, hour be damned because it's saturday, but skimming through Brandon doesn't come back. I don't want to skim too far ahead but as far as I can tell he doesn't come back for at least 10 chapters noooooooooooo you can't just spring that on me and leave me hanging aaaaaaaaaaaa. :'(

Ahh well, I suppose if I were any of the Dashwoods I wouldn't expect to see him until "after winter" anyway, whenever that will be. That'll be it for today then, I suppose. :'D

I think with the addition of Miss Williams, Colonel Brandon and his DAUGHTER are now the most intriguing characters to me. Not being able to find out their deal for weeks is gonna drive me nuts. I hope he's not an absent father though...

Miss Williams is also an instant favourite for just existing, because as you can see with Margaret, I have a soft spot for children caught in an adult world.

#1300 words #Jane Austen #Sense and Sensibility #readthrough #novels #Margaret = Brandon > Elinor = Mama Dashwood > Marianne > everyone else #Diary Preamble #also if you caught the pesterlog reference #that was deliberate and its one of my favourite pesterlogs

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