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mindfulstudyquest · 25 days

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here's the reason you procrastinate

based on Fuschia Sirois' research

everyone procrastinate at some point. research suggests that almost 1 in 4 people procrastinate on a fairly regular basis, and the rates are even higher among college and university students ( 50% of them procrastinate regularly and about 85-90% do so occasionally ).

because procrastination is so common we tend not to put too much thought into it, in the end what is the problem? it's just delay.

well, it's not. actually procrastination is harmful delay ( so defined by the researchers ); it is a form of delay which is:

voluntary

unnecessary

involves important tasks which you intended to do

people often underestimate the consequences of procrastination and how debilitating and harmful it can be. if you delay dealing with ( for example ) your academic works, of course you can expect some negative results in that area, but what about the collateral consequences of it?

research has shown that people who have problems with procrastination have low physical and mental health and practice less healthy behaviors. they deal with depression, stress and anxiety.

just think about the enormous amount of stress that procrastination brings: first of all, constantly chasing deadlines. deadlines can nag anyone, even those who don't struggle with delaying, but then it ends, the job is turned in, and everything goes back to normal. for procastinators this is not the case, they will keep putting off important things and will constantly end up with an imminent deadline.

so, if it's so harmful for your health, why do people do it? some people think it's about laziness or poor time managment, but actually:

laziness isn't procrastination. if you're lazy you don't have the energy to do anything, instead procrastinators are always busy with a thousand non-essential tasks to do, in fact they avoid doing one specific task, not every task ( for example if i need to study, but i'm procrastinating it, i end up cleaning my room )

poor time managment it's actually a symptom of procrastination, not a cause.

from a psychological perspective the origins of procrastination are rooted in negative emotions and the urge to cope with them through avoidance. so actually procrastination is about poor mood managment, not poor time managment.

procrastination starts when we have a task that's unpleasant, but we have to do it. and we use procrastination then as a way to get relief from those negative emotions associated with the task, so basically it's not even about avoiding the task, but it's about avoid the negative emotions that we associate with the task.

we need to avoid stress and aversive feeling that come with the task, especially when we don't feel like we can manage those negative emotions at the moment. so we take the task, we put it aside, and it's instant relief. it's fast, it's easy and it works for a little while, then that sense of shame, guilt and self-blame starts to kick in.

so why do we keep procrastinating? for that sense of relief, because that made us feel rewarded and we tend to repeat behaviors that rewarded us. this can easily lead to a cycle of procrastination.

however, the negative thoughts that we have ( "why didn't i start earlier?", "i'm letting myself down" etc. ) don't actually make us take action. they just add layers of layers on pre-existing negativity.

so how do you get out of the procastination cycle?

go back to valuing your task, if it's so important that you do it, remind yourself why you are doing it

remember that we tend to overestimate the discomfort that a given challenge will bring us. probably your task isn't even that time-consuming, unpleasant and frustrating

be compassionate and and forgive yourself, it's an effective strategy to reduce the negative emotions associated with the task. you are not the first nor the last person to procrastinate, we are all human and we all make mistakes. research has shown that doing so reduces the risk of procastination.

hope you enjoyed this little explanation, here's my sources: https://youtu.be/xTEPNxx0MsA

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bubbleebubz · 5 months

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Save me Professor- part 1

Word count: 2,006.

Pt.2

15+++

~warnings- eventual smutt! pantie stealing (consentual), pet names (is that a warning?), suggestive content, w3t dreams, mental health issues, bad dreams (fire and death)

Y/N had just been kicked out of her mother's house after her mom has a schizophrenic break and moves to Flordia leaving her to fend for herself. Her professor can't bare seeing Y/N in such a state, and offers her to stay in his guest bedroom, can they be roomates without his dark desires taking control?

"P-please don't stop sir" his hands hot on her body. His large hands getting closer and closer to where she needs them most.

"What do you want, baby? Tell me" His breath hot on her neck.

"Please professor Reid" she moans out in need.

"Y/N... Y/N... Y/N wake up"

What?

My eyes snap open, being awoken back into the cruel reality of my life.

I sit up at my desk and look around.

The class is empty.

I look up, "oh my God, I'm so sorry professor Reid, I must have fallen asleep." I say hastily gathering all my things causing my pencil case to fall off my desk.

I lean over to pick it up, as does he. "Y/N, it's ok, but are you alright?" He asks, crouching down next to me.

I look into his eyes anxiously. Nodding. "Why would you think otherwise Sir?" I ask shyly, trying to avoid his intimidating eye contact.

"Look at me sweetheart" He says, making my thighs clench and insides throb.

I follow his orders and look into his eyes.

My mouth going dry.

"What's the matter?" He asks. "Your the best in this class and never lose focus like this, let alone fall asleep." He explains his worry.

"I. I uhm, my mom kicked me out last night. She has schizophrenia and she now decided to move to Flordia. So I have no where to stay. So I was up all night, studying to keep my mind off of things." I say, my eyes beginning to water.

I blink them away and look over to the window, not being able to look him in the eyes.

"Oh sweet girl" He says, and hugs me.

I hug him back as tight as I can. The comforting feeling unusual to me.

"I'm sorry, I know this isn't your problem and there are other students who have much bigger more important issues, i really didn't mean to fall asleep." I say into his chest.

"Don't apologise Y/N" He says sternly.

"You didn't do anything wrong, did you know that the average female needs atleast 7 hours of sleep, and if they don't get that, their stress and anxiety levels increase and the lack of sleep reduces your physical and cognitive performance." He says pulling away. I smile at his rambling and nod while wiping my tears away.

"Where are you staying now?" He asks, standing up and looking down at me.

I look up at him anxiously to respond.

"I don't know." I whisper out, looking away, feeling the tears starting again.

"How would you like to stay with me? Until you figure things out ofcourse." He asks cautiously.

I look up at him shocked.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

He nods.

"Ofcourse, you are my favorite student after all." He chuckles out.

He Whips the falling tears as they spill down my cheek as I look up at him. I lean into his touch.

"Is that alright, love?" He asks, I nod.

"Use your words" He says.

"Yes sir, I'd love to." I say shyly.

"Excellent, let's get going now shall we? Do you have your things or?" He asks, as he walks to his desk, gathering his belongings.

"I was only able to grab my school uniform, school books, laptop, chargers and bathroom stuff, that's all I could fit in my backpack." I say.

He nods.

He signals me to follow him, I get up and walk behind him to his black sports car.

I get into the front seat and place my bag infront of me on the floor.

"Seat belt" He says, starting the car.

I put the seat belt on and shiver from the cool fall air.

"Good girl" I blush hard.

I lean my head against the cold window, watching the passing trees go by. My eyes begin to get heavy as I doze off.

I'm awoken this time ruthlessly.

"Y/N are you ok?" He groans, shaking me awake. There was fire everywhere.

"What happened?" I ask, beginning to hyperventilate.

I look back at him but his eyes are shut, his face bloody and chard.

I scream and scream and scream.

"Y/N wake up, it's ok wake up, we are here" he says lightly shaking me awake once again.

I wake up sobbing and lean to cling to him in a tight hug.

"Shh s'okay, I'm here, it's ok" He says holding the back of my head and rubbing my back.

"What was the nightmare about baby?" He asks soothingly.

"We got into a car accident, and you died." I whimper out, my voice hoarse from all the crying.

"Oh honey, it's ok, I'm alright see. I'm alive." He says placing my hand over his heart. I calm down and look around seeing we are at a nice sized house, with vines down the front and sides of it, it looked like a cottage from a fairytale. My eyes light up at the sight.

"Woah" I say amazed.

He chuckles.

"Follow me" He says, taking my bag for me.

"Thanks" I say shyly, realizing this is my professor and not some high-school crush.

He was just being nice and caring. That's all.

I follow him into his house and smile at the decor, it matched him perfectly, the furniture old and dark, and the scent of his house was exquisite, like a pumpkin vanilla.

"You can stay in the guest bedroom over here" he says, guiding me down the hall way. "My room is next door here" he says pointing to another door. "And the bathroom is over here" he says.

I nod a thank you.

"I'll let you get settled, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me" He says giving me a caring smile putting his hand on my lower back while leaving down the hall.

I enter the room, observing my surroundings, there was a double bed with an beatiful oak bed frame, on the left side of the room in the middle of the wall, and a window straight ahead, to the right there was a desk, and to the left of the desk was an old white chair.

It was very basic, not in a bad way.

I unpack my bag, putting my limited clothes (being only my school uniforms) in the dresser. And placing the singular Grumpy Care Bear on my bed for comfort.

I exit my new bedroom and go to the kitchen.

"Hey Professor" I say shyly. Sitting down on one of the chairs set at the island.

"Please call me Spencer" He chuckles out.

I blush lightly, enough for him to notice and smirk.

"Ok Spenerrr" I say goofily out of anxiety.

Causing him to smile again.

"Whatcha doing?" I ask boredly.

"Cooking dinner, I hope you like chicken vermicelli noodles" He says with a chuckle.

"I have no clue what that is but it smells good so I probably will!" I say giggling.

"Why are you still in your school clothes its-" He pauses checking his watch "8 PM on a Friday" He asks.

"I didn't manage to fit any of my actual clothes in my bag, so I just have my school uniforms." I say with a sad chuckle. "But it's ok, they aren't that unc-" "nuh uh, I'll be right back" He says cutting me off before leaving the kitchen and stove unattended. "Uh Spence you kinda forgot about the fooood" I call out and walk around the island to the stove, stirring the food in the frying pan. Still having no idea what I'm doing, causing me to burn myself slightly.

"Ow" I say blankly, running my finger under cool water.

I look over to see him leaning against the wall chuckling while holding a t-shirt and sweatpants.

"It's not funny, I don't know how to cook" I whine out in a giggle.

He shakes his head in a laugh.

"Here, wear these" He says handing me his clothes. I reluctantly take them. "Thank you very much sir, you have no idea how much I appreciate you doing all this for me" I say sadly. "Don't mention it, your not that unbearable" He says, causing me to roll my eyes and playfully punch his shoulder.

His eyes widen, "oh yeah?" He says jokingly and picks me up as if I weigh nothing (I most definitely don't weigh nothing) and carries me over his shoulder.

"HEY SPENCER PUT ME DOWN" I giggle out and hit his back, causing him to slap my ass making me yelp "ah ah ah" He says placing me down in the bathroom. "Change your clothes then give them to me so I can wash them" He says smiling before shutting the door.

I sigh out with a smile before undressing, taking everything off.

My smile drops when I realize I have to go commando in my professors sweatpants and braless in his t-shirt.

I put the clothing on, it fitting loosely.

I fold my dirty clothes, making sure my bra and panties were hidden to the best of my abilities.

I exit the bathroom and begin to go to the kitchen, but he isn't there, the food is plated and set on the island but he is missing, "Spence?" I call out.

"BOO" He says, grabbing my waist causing me to scream and drop my clothes. "GODDAMIT" I say absolutely terrified making him laugh even harder. " s'not funny" i whine out.

Both of us bending over to pick up my clothes, I freeze when I see him picking up my panties.

"Hmm, lacey blue, so innocent yet so naughty Y/N" I blush really hard, I go to grab my underwear from his hand but he snatches them away, putting them into his pocket and picks up the rest of my clothes.

I stand in the middle of the kitchen, my jaw on the floor. "Spe-" "ah. I'm confiscating those. For reasons I don't need to say!" He says. "But those are my only-" "we can buy you new ones, any ones you'd like." He says, before walking into the laundry room to place my dirty clothes into the washing machine.

"Common, let's eat." He says, walking over to the island and pulling out a chair for me, before sitting next to me.

I take a bite out of the food and moan out in happiness.

"Do you like it?" He asks with a chuckle.

"Mhmm" I say, taking another bite.

I look over awkwardly.

"I-i like food.." I say shyly.

"I can see that, it's cute" He says, making me blush.

After dinner I help clean up.

"I'll do the dishes, you put the leftovers away?" I say. And he nods.

I wash the dishes by hand, but after washing only 2 cups I get ancy and put some music on the TV, Reflections by The Neighborhood starts playing and I start to sing along while doing the dishes.

Swaying my hips to the music.

I hear footsteps behind me and freeze the music pausing too.

"Y'know. You look really good in my clothes sweetheart." He whispers in my ear, causing me to shudder. His hands around my waist.

"Wanna know what you'd look even better in?" He asks seductively.

"W-what?" I whisper out, not daring to turn around.

"In bed! Because it's bedtime!" He says picking me up again.

"But the dishes! There is only one left!" I whine out, kicking my feet, as he holds me bridal style.

"I can do it, sweets" He says sweetly causing me to smile at the pet name.

God he was going to be the death of me.

NO HE IS YOUR PROFESSOR, but he doesn't seem to mind.

He places me in my bed.

Grabbing my care bear and chuckling.

"What.." I say embarrassed.

"Nothing, just pictured you as a hello kitty girl" He chuckles.

"I love hello kitty too, but I had to chose, and Grumpy was the softest one so.." I say realizing I'm rambling.

He hands me the bear and nods.

"Goodnight Y/N" He says, putting the blankets over me and kissing my forehead. I blush.

"Goodnight Spence" I say kissing his cheek.

I fall asleep easily.

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader smut #dom!spencer #soft dom!spencer #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x plus size reader

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jahnavisurenda-21 · 2 months

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Hazbin Hotel||Alastor X Reader||When You are Overwhelmed||Mental stress Comfort

An unhealthy habit of mine is to always eat the stress away, which causes me to have indigestion, and a lot of heat accumulation at my stomach area, instead try journaling, meditating works wonders as well.

You remembered your father from your time on Earth had once told you in the eighth or seventh grade you had forgotten it, but it somehow resonated more with him like he preached words of great value, and right now you remember them clearly as day.

He said, "From here on, your childhood is over you will only have exams, entrance exams, stressful people who drain all your energy, and more drama."

It was the wisest truth you ever had the pleasure of encountering, you always thought if your dad was to quit or get fired from his job your family would do just fine if he worked as a motivational speaker in a talk show.

But you couldn't find any advice that would help you cope, or relieve you from this mental anxiety your brain was accumulated in.

You tried to sleep but, the thoughts throbbed through your skull, then tried to walk around but, your thoughts could not stop being transmitted by the neurons.

So, it was the kitchen, "My dear." Your heart skipped a beat when Alastor's radio-like voice alerted you of his presence.

"Hey, Alastor darling... this is not what it looks like." You quickly spurted out, "Now Now my dear, from how I see it I would say you are trying to eat the stress away."

You sighed heavily closing the fridge door, when you heard the magnets being clasped, you couldn't hold back your tears which brimmed it was simply too much.

You spun around before hugging Alastor like a lifeline, Alastor anticipated that as he took hold of you, and let your tears drench his coat.

He heard Charlie and the others come back, so he motioned you to come to his office, where he let you cry out some stress.

"I was this close to being done with it you know?" You asked sniffling,

"My dear, maybe this new mission to help Charlie has done you more harm than good, I don't want my latest form of entertainment to fail yet, because if it does the end product won't be so entertaining."

Then he pulled you away from him so that you could look at him, "But I don't find any entertainment in watching you in despair."

You pushed yourself away, "I really want to help Alastor. I believe in her."

"And you are helping, taking care of yourself will also count," Alastor said with his never-fading grin.

He touched your hair before brushing it past your face, all these emotions which flowed out of you like a waterfall, time and time he saw them, it was your innocence, an innocence which proved you couldn't, by choice be in hell.

He had found you in the right time, "So, Alastor?"

"Hm?"

"Can you do a voice recording?"

Then Alastor's eyes flashed, "I almost forgot my dear, Remember I told you that day I had been working on a few audios for a week?"

"Yes." You said excitedly, you honestly were quite curious, "Well... here."

"A Record." You said but, it was beautifully engraved with things you found comfort in, Books, Antique pieces, fluffy rugs, It was like a cover page, behind the record the words engraved were,

'To My love'

Which made you blush.

"Not now my dear, keep the surprise, do put in on play when you have the misfortune of coming across these painful days."

"You actually made this your highness?" You playfully asked, but Alastor could see the joy it had brought you, "Thank you so much."

You threw yourself at him again, before respectfully pulling back, "Sorry darling, I keep forgetting you are still not accustomed to physical touch."

"Not a problem at the moment my dear."

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Thank You for coming through to the end of another post.

#lovestories #romance #beauty #alastor fanfiction #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #alastor x reader #alastor x you #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel fanart #radio demon

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girlwithherheadinthestars · 2 months

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study tips i made instead of studying

first and foremost, do as i say not as i do (as in don't post study tips on tumblr when you have seven tests to study for)

make it aesthetic, that's always super motivating. put a playlist in the background like the "you're a princess researching about your mother while trying to overthrow your father" or "solving a mystery in your elite boarding school" or "studying in a library with the ghosts" (look them up they're good god knows i'm too lazy to link them) also mcu soundtracks help me so much!!

pretty notes!!

DRINK WATER (go now fr or i'm going to find you)

something i like to do is keep a big cup of water next to me and force myself to sit and study until it's empty

open windows!!! wind helps me focus personally

pretend you're studying in hogwarts or in the dead poets society or something. imagination is very powerful

snacks!!!!!!

more snacks!!!!!!!!!!

get interested in what you're studying. like fr. stuff we learn in school is amazing af like what do you mean we found out the universe is expanding through red-shift??? ok i know this is very nerdy of me but it's cool af. BE NERDY.

take breaks <3 always

pretend you have a rival you need to destroy (if you have one that's even better, personally me and my rival sometimes study in the same room to motivate each other just by glaring at each other from across the room)(side note: this could also be his method of flirting i will never know)

stand up and walk around every once in a while. for all my figure skating besties -- try to do an off-ice axel in your kitchen. it tends to wake me up because i tend to fall when i try to do a double but whatever that's a me problem.

find somewhere comfortable and wear something comfortable

make a to-do list

SEPARATE SECTION ABOUT TO-DO LISTS BECAUSE I HAVE A WHOLE SYSTEM FOR THIS

first of all you're going to brain dump everything you have to do. every little thing. including walking your dog. everything that has to be done in the next 24 hours.

let's take a sample to do list:

- math quiz

-math homework

-physics presentation

-chemistry test

-french oral

next, you're going to give each of them a score. how do we put scores? well

give it an easiness score from 1 -> 10 (10 being you can do it upside down with your eyes closed)

give it a stress score from -1 -> -10 (-10 being it causes crippling anxiety)

give it a priority score from 1 -> 10 (10 being your teacher will hunt you down if it isn't done in the next hour)

finally, give it in a convenience score from -1 -> -4 (-4 being i don't know where my notebook is my pen is in antartica i have no material to do this atm)

for me it would be something like

- math quiz (5E, -1S, 10P, -2C) 12

-math homework (7E, 0S, 8P, -1C) 14

-physics presentation (6E, -2S, 5P, -2C) 7

-chemistry test (2E, -2S, 10P, 0C) 10

-french oral (10E, -3S, 8P, -1C) 14

then sort everything. do the highest scores first and the lowest scores last (so you get the easy stuff done and get motivated to continue) and there! your to-do list is done in the least painful way possible <3

#no i really should be studying what's wrong with me #these are usually foolproof istg they got me through literally all of high school but i'm in a really bad state rn #tips #study tips #studying #study motivation #student #studyblr community #studyblr

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mordcore · 9 months

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starting to realize that "psychosomatic" doesn't mean what i thought it meant. so it definitely doesn't mean "fake problem" that much i knew but. i think it's literally just the effocts of stress on the body. it's less "i didn't wanna go to school so i subconsciously made my tummy hurt so i wouldn't have to go" it's "going to school filled me with so much anxiety that the stress hormones had an immediate physical effect on my body, to the point of causing me physical pain". the first explanation is an invitation to gaslighting and "just push through it". the second one however is an invitation to take your bodies signals seriously and also acknowledge that you seem to be ignoring your emotions.. or maybe you aren't but you're unable to stay within your limits. limits btw aren't something to "push through", unless you want to self-destruct. limits are LIMITS.

this is coming from someone who went to school anyways, despite the anxiety-induced tummy-ache, and whose body started falling apart. it's still apart. it's probably not getting better. the more limits you ignore, the harder your body will set them. nowadays i can't work, i can't study, i can't even take walks anymore unless i wanna spend 3 weeks in bed. that's the very real effect that trauma has on your body. i know some people live in abusive households and can't obey their limits and some people live in usa but everyone who is pushing past their limits who CAN make changes in their life, take some time off from work, switch to part-time, change schools, have a sick semester, subsist on unemployment benefits for a while to take away the stress, do one less extracurricular activity.... please. do it. you only have the one body, and it is much weaker than you think. one day you won't bounce back.

#me/cfs #← my illness incase anyone was wondering.#trauma #stress #my stuff #psychosomatic #medical trauma #burnout #actually autistic

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bbcphile · 4 months

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Mysterious Lotus Casebook and Complex PTSD Representations: Part I

One of my favorite things about Mysterious Lotus Casebook is how surprisingly nuanced and unusual its portrayal of complex PTSD is. So many shows either introduce character trauma to make the character Sad and Brooding, Angry and Violent (if they’re a villain) or Hesitant to Start a Relationship (if it’s a romance), and that’s usually as in-depth as it gets. If they address the unique after effects of child abuse that lead to complex PTSD at all, it’s usually either explain why a character is a homicidal monster (which is all sorts of problematic) or it’s limited to a single phobia, which can be overcome by the Power of Love, or it’s just something that crops up occasionally for Plot and then forgotten about the rest of the time.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook gives us two deeply traumatized characters–Li Lianhua and Di Feisheng–who each have clear symptoms of complex PTSD, and yet, their cPTSD manifests completely differently because of the types of traumas that caused it and their relationships to the people causing the traumas. And their manifestations of cPTSD affect just about every level of their being, including their sense of self, their decision-making, and their relationships with others, and it includes some of the incredibly important manifestations of cPTSD that are almost never shown in media while avoiding the most insulting stereotypes!

PTSD vs cPTSD

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder caused by experiencing a single (or short lived) traumatic event (an accident, assault, medical emergency, fighting in a war, etc), where the symptoms last for longer than a month. Symptoms include things like reexperiencing the event (flashbacks), avoidance (of things related to the event), changes in mood (depression, anger, fear, etc), and issues with emotional regulation (hypervigilance–being constantly on the lookout for threats–irritability/angry outbursts, etc.).

Complex PTSD happens if someone has experienced long term, chronic/repeated trauma that induces hopelessness and no chance of escape (survivors of extended child abuse, human trafficking, domestic violence, prisoners of war, slavery, etc.). It’s also often interpersonal in ways a car crash or medical emergency is not, and is particularly linked with chronic trauma during childhood: chronic stress hormones introduce literal physical changes in a growing brain, particularly the amygdala (which processes fear), hippocampus (which is responsible for learning/memory), and the prefrontal cortex (which is responsible for executive function), so it can affect every aspect of life and also affect a child’s progression through developmental stages. In addition to these physical changes to the brain, the prolonged trauma–particularly the helplessness–distorts a child’s sense of self, the perpetrator, and the world in ways that alter their decision making, their memory, and their future relationships.

For instance, whereas a traumatic event that caused PTSD might make you depressed or not trust the person who harmed you (or to fear driving), the trauma from cPTSD might make you suicidal, blame yourself for your victimization, decide to isolate to avoid interpersonal relationships to keep from getting hurt, or become obsessed with never being harmed again.

Basically, cPTSD has the core symptoms from PTSD with some extra challenges, including issues with emotional regulation, self-concept, interruptions in consciousness, difficulties with relationships, perceptions of the perpetrator, and systems of meaning.

DFS and LLH: CPTSD Symptoms

There’s so much more to say about this than I can cover in this superficial introduction, so this will be the first of a series of metas; I’m hoping to go into more depth about some of these categories in future posts (the DFS and emotional regulation/violence one is already drafted, so stay tuned).

Difficulties with Relationships (problems with trust, communication, missing red flags): Both DFS and LLH have a history of trusting the wrong people and not trusting the right people, both in the past and in the present of the show: in the past, LLH missed the fact that SGD hated him and DFS missed the fact that JLQ was obsessed with him, and as a result, both sects were destroyed, many people died, and the two almost destroyed each other. If they had communicated with each other instead of fighting at the donghai battle, they might have realized they were being set up and could have worked together, but their difficulties with trust after perceived betrayal made that impossible for them. They both have a history of overlooking red flags in the present–DFS in particular, keeping the red-flag-personified-JLQ around despite her history of poisoning people, including himself–and they both tend to struggle with relationships in the present: LLH runs away from and/or drugs the people who care about him, and DFS sends endless mixed messages by not telling Li Lianhua most of his plans to help him.

Self-Concept (Self-hatred and self-fragmentation): Li Lianhua is basically the poster child for having a negative self concept: he has an overdeveloped sense of self-blame and responsibility, even believing he deserves to die for leading his men to their deaths, and once he learns he was manipulated and SGD was behind it all, he seems to think it’s his own fault that he was manipulated, lied to, and abused. His self-loathing is so extreme that he imagines his earlier self, Li Xiangyi, to have died, and tries as much as possible to be nothing like that earlier persona. His repeated insistence that Li Xiangyi and Li Lianhua are NOT the same person is reminiscent of the fragmentary sense of self that comes with more extreme trauma, like Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Other-Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD), where traumatic experiences are so painful that people form different alters, or differentiated self-states, that can have different names and skills and memories and identities.

Di Feisheng doesn’t have the self-hatred or guilt that LLH does, and it seems like he tries to skip over questions of self worth, blame, or hatred by focusing exclusively on staying true to his code of ethics he’s developed for himself and focusing on gaining the strength necessary to fight for his freedom from mind control and the Di Fortress. But even though he’s kept his Di name, kept his goals the same since escaping Di Fortress, and hasn’t tried to separate himself from his trauma the way LLH did with LXY, he’s even more willing than LLH to take on different identities: it’s literally one of his martial arts skills. The Bone Constriction Skill lets him become someone else for a time, whether that’s a child or Shi Hun. It fits well with his willingness to be whoever he needs to be to accomplish his goals: he’s perfectly willing to be seen as a heartless villain if it lets him protect LLH, and he’s willing to flirt with and pretend to be jealous of JLQ to get information from her, and he’s willing to be LLH’s a-Fei, both with and without his memories.

Interruptions in Consciousness (Amnesia and nightmares for Everyone): LLH and DFS both have nightmares and flashbacks/memories of traumatic events, and as mentioned above, both have interesting hints of having fragmented/fluid senses of self. They both also dissociate, or separate themselves from the present when dealing with traumatic things: LLH spaces out and gets stuck in his past memories about SGD when talking to FDB after burying SGD, and DFS dissociates from physical pain so as not to make noise both after he’s been stabbed and poisoned with Wuxin Huai and again when JLQ is torturing him in her water dungeon.

They both also have dissociative amnesia that takes away trauma memories, although one is from a poisonous incense plus the magic of qi macgyvering: LLH forgot the existence of his older brother who died in front of him, and DFS as a-Fei had just about all of his memories (except a few of killing as a child) taken away. Amnesia is a huge part of cPTSD, because it’s the brain’s way of trying to protect you from truths that you might not survive. It can manifest as blocking out one single traumatic event, a bunch of thematically or temporally linked traumatic events, a skill set related to the trauma, or, in the case of something like DID or OSDD, just about everything. It’s endlessly fascinating to me that the show gives us one example of definite traumatic amnesia through LLH, and then seems to almost transform the experience of having DID and being a new part and finding yourself with a new name and very little else into an exaggerated fantasy setting (interestingly, people often report experiencing debilitating headaches when they try to regain memories behind the amnesia barrier). I doubt this is what they were actually going for, since DID is almost universally portrayed incorrectly and offensively in media (one of the alters is almost always portrayed as a serial killer, but that’s a rant for another day), but the different names and the presence of amnesia with LLH made it a fascinating enough parallel that I had to mention it.

Problems with Emotional Regulation (Lashing in vs. lashing out): Li Xiangyi and Di Feisheng are polar opposites when it comes to struggles with emotional regulation: whereas LXY turns his anger inward, directing it all toward self-hate in what’s often called a “toxic shame spiral,” both after the donghai battle and after he finds out about SGD’s role in his shifu’s death, DFS lashes out physically at those who have harmed him, usually via choking people, although he is usually exerting an impressive amount of control over his emotions and strength. To put in perspective just how different their emotional strategies are and how much effort DFS puts into emotional regulation, compare how much more calm he is than LLH during any revelation of past betrayal or painful information, any scene where they confront the people who have abused them, or any scene where they learn they’ve been wrong about something big; LLH is most likely having an emotional flashback (re-experiencing the emotions from the earlier traumas) and DFS is probably compartmentalizing them or dissociating from them to process later/never so he can stay semi-functional and not show a potential opponent a weak spot.

NOTE: This means that DFS is loooong overdue for a very dramatic breakdown when it eventually all catches up to him and he can’t distract himself from it anymore.

Perceptions of Perpetrators: In this way only, Di Feisheng has one advantage: he knows the head of Di Fortress is a cruel, abusive tyrant. While he clearly still fears him, even as a physically strong adult (he has nightmares, flashbacks, and dedicates his life to being free from him, which means he still to some extent feels young, small, and helpless when he thinks of him), DFS knows that he hates him and wants to be free of him. This is probably part of why he’s spared some of the self-hatred LLH experiences: he knows he didn’t deserve the abuse because seeing it happen to other children means he knows the abuse wasn’t a personal reflection on him. It does, however, motivate him to want to be stronger and invulnerable so as to never be helpless again, and that obsession is what drives him to have a single-minded focus on reaching the pinnacle of the jianghu.

It’s so much more complicated for Li Lianhua (and for a more detailed analysis, check out this meta): the childhood perpetrators were manifold–a slew of bandits, whichever children and adults on the street would abuse him for existing and being poor–it probably felt like life itself was to blame. It’s no wonder that when his shifu and shiniang took him in, they were the ultimate rescuers whom he hero-worshipped, so when he felt he made a mistake and his life fell apart, he blamed himself: at least there would be someone to blame that way and something he could do about it (try to kill his past self and hate everything about him). It’s also very telling that LLH doesn’t blame JLQ or YBQ all that much when he learns they poisoned him, and that he’s more angry that SGD murdered their shifu than he is that SGD set him up, hated him, and was the real mastermind behind everything he had blamed himself for; he struggles to stay angry at people who harm him, and would rather blame and hate himself for being tricked than hate the person who tricked him. So, whereas DFS tries to destroy the people who abused him, LLH tries to destroy himself.

If you read this far, thanks! I’m probably going to be posting the DFS and emotional regulation/violence against perpetrator meta next, because it’s drafted, but if there are any of these you desperately want me to talk about more sooner rather than later, let me know! :D

#mysterious lotus casebook #mlc meta #di feisheng #li lianhua #Li Xiangyi #complex PTSD #child abuse #sorry it's so long! This is the short version #The original version was 2700 words #dissociation #trauma #I am so here for non-monolithic representations of mental illnesses #PTSD #In case you can't tell I am very invested in depictions of PTSD and cPTSD #I'm always up for talking about fictional portrayals of trauma #so feel free to message if you have questions about any of this and don't want it to be in the notes for some reason

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letters-to-lgbt-kids · 1 year

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(TW: Sex, genitalia mention)

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Sex isn't supposed to hurt. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

That includes all kinds of penetration: vaginal, anal, with a penis, finger or toy. "Entry pain" with penetration isn't normal and neither is pain during or after sex.

There are sadly still people out there who tell vagina-owners that it's normal to feel uncomfortable during sex, that penetrative sex isn't supposed to be enjoyable for you, only for your partner, or that you need to bear the pain (either for your partner's sake or "until you loosen up" - which is not how the vagina works!).

The idea that “you are born tight and need to be loosened up by a penis” (and that you therefore need to lie down and take the pain until you are loose enough) is a complete myth. It is easily debunked by basic biology: your vagina is a muscular canal. That means its tissue is elastic! It can stretch when it needs to, and then it bounces back (just think about childbirth! It can stretch to fit a whole baby) - and it can do that because that’s how muscles work, it doesn’t need some magic penis to come along and teach it to do that. It’s actually a pretty sexist idea that you’d need that!

Pain isn't (and shouldn't be!) a normal, regular part of sex. If penetration hurts, it's a sign something is wrong. It's a good idea to talk to a medical professional who can help you pinpoint the exact reason.

Here are a few common causes:

Not enough lubrication. This means you are not "wet" enough. The vagina self-lubricates when aroused, the anus doesn't. So, for vaginal sex it can help to just include more foreplay to make sure you are really aroused and ready to go! Foreplay can be anything that feels good and gets you in the mood. Additionally you can use lube (this is a kind of gel or cream specifically made to reduce friction during sexual activity which are safe to apply to genitalia - please do not try to use face cream, shampoo or anything like that. If it is not made to be used vaginally, it can really irritate your skin and make the problem worse!). For anal penetration, you always need to use lube.

Certain medications (like antidepressants, birth control pills or high blood pressure pills) can decrease lubrication as a side effect. If you suspect this plays a role, please do not discontinue your meds without your doctor's approval. Ask them for advice, maybe you can switch to a different brand or dosage. Lube can also be helpful in those cases.

Urinary tract infections can cause a burning sensation during or after sex. Talk to your doctor, you may need antibiotics or other medication to treat your UTI.

Skin problems in your genital area (like eczema) can cause pain during sex. If your skin looks red or feels itchy, raw or swollen, talk to your gynecologist.

Vaginismus causes involuntary spasms of the vaginal muscles. This may be the case if you can't insert anything at all (not even tampons) without experiencing severe pain. Talk to your gynecologist. (They usually do not need to perform an internal exam to diagnose vaginismus, if you are worried about the exam being too painful). Treatment can include physical therapy (such as pelvic floor exercises) and psychological therapy.

Depression, anxiety, high levels of stress or past traumatic sexual experiences can also contribute to pain during sex. This does not mean “The pain isn’t real, it’s all in your head”! Emotional health and physical health are interlinked. For example, depression can make it harder to feel aroused (and therefore lubricated).

This is not an exhaustive list. There are other temporary situations, chronic conditions and acute illnesses that can make sex painful - if you are unsure or worried, it’s always best to consult a gynecologist.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

#lgbt #lgbt+

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guacamoleroll · 10 months

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Hello I hope your having a great day/night but I was wondering if you could do headcannons for Sigma and Dazai with an s/o with social anxiety disorder (like for me I get chest pains and nausea in social situations I’m nervous in, like being around alot of people or awkward situations and very shy to new people) thank you so much if you do end up doing this I love your writing so much btw! :D

𝖘/𝖔 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖘𝖔𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖑 𝖆𝖓𝖝𝖎𝖊𝖙𝖞

content. gn!reader. social anxiety disorder, panic attacks, cuddling, hurt/comfort. not proofread.

author's note. this is my first time writing for sigma, so i hope it is not incredibly out of character!

would you like to see more? join the taglist or comment under this post!

𝗦𝗜𝗚𝗠𝗔 ⋆⁺₊ ⸺⸺⸺

He would probably initially panic himself.

You cannot tell me this man does not have his own anxiety problems (but it’s more general anxiety rather than social-specific anxiety). But at the very least, he could relate deeply to your pain.

His first initial response is to get you away from the social situation immediately (utilizing his casino manager persona). However, if he can’t get you out of the situation, he will be there for you both emotionally and physically. It’s displayed either by him holding your hand or waist and him constantly making eye contact with you to make sure you’re still okay.

If you’re at an event that you absolutely cannot leave, he’ll take you aside occasionally to a secluded corner to allow you to breathe with him. He is constantly checking up on you throughout the entire event, usually by observing your facial expressions and posture. And if someone is rude to you, that manager persona is in full force.

That man may be a complete nervous wreck (all the time), but it’s almost like the switch flips in his brain whenever someone treats you rudely. (Don’t let him touch the machine guns, though. You’ll have a lawsuit on your hands).

If the event becomes a big stressor, to the point of you having a panic attack, it doesn’t matter what obligations either of you have; you are leaving ASAP.

Once both of you arrive back at your shared suite in the casino, he will constantly question whether you’re okay.

You are absolutely having a little spa night with him – no choice. You’re gonna receive some good TLC to make sure you’re back to 100%. He’ll even order your favorite meal and desserts via room service. You won’t even have to leave the comfort of your bed.

When you head to sleep, he checks on you one last time, massaging any remaining tense muscles as he soothes you to sleep. After all, both of you are in this together.

"It's okay, love. I'm right here with you. Breathe with me, okay?"

𝗢𝗦𝗔𝗠𝗨 𝗗𝗔𝗭𝗔𝗜 ⋆⁺₊ ⸺⸺⸺

At the start of your relationship, this handsome dumbass probably dragged you into multiple social situations by accident (it’s the Osamu Dazai Effect). And honestly, he thinks it’s very cute with how shy you are.

However, once he realizes that these situations cause you actual stress, he starts to feel a bit bad for the previous experiences (this man would be thinking about each situation he had dragged you into, feeling more guilt when he remembered your expressions). He becomes a lot more watchful with the situations you both get involved in.

Don’t get me wrong, the Osamu Dazai effect will unavoidably drag you both back into another situation, but if he can prevent unnecessary stress for his baby, he will. In those inevitable situations, he makes sure to stay as physically close to you as possible (unless he absolutely can’t). For those who know him, it looks like he’s being his clingy self, but it’s all for the purpose of comforting you.

He wants to make sure you know that he’s right there with you, that he’s not gonna let anything bad happen to you.

When the other people involved in the conversation are distracted, he’ll whisper reassurances to you in hopes that it’ll calm you down.

He’ll try to leave the situation as soon as possible, sometimes walking away from the other person mid-conversation.

Also, God forbid someone was mean to you.

There is a reason this man was called the Demon Prodigy—anyone who makes his lover uncomfortable or upset is gonna have a deep problem with him. After all, the saying is that the worst misfortune for Dazai’s enemies is that they are Dazai’s enemies.

Once you both get away, he’ll subtly check in on you in his typical Dazai way (which means mostly by being touchy and over-affectionate, unless you don’t like that).

However, you will receive a hug from this man.

And come on, I don’t doubt that he would be the type to give some of the best hugs when he is in a more serious mood. While he probably runs at a cooler temperature, the large jacket that he wears radiates heat. You’ll be snuggled up against him in no time.

Speaking of snuggling, if the social situation left you especially drained to the point of exhaustion, he would hands-down use it as an excuse to leave work early so that he could cuddle with you while you rest—after all, he needs to keep his baby happy and healthy :)

"Don't worry about talking, dear. I'll take care of everything."

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @imhandicapableofmath

#muse's anthology ‧₊˚ ⋅#gn!reader #from: anon .ᐟ #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #osamu dazai x reader #dazai x reader #osamu dazai #dazai bsd #sigma bsd #sigma x reader

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n3xii · 1 year

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This reading helps you attune to the message your guardian angel has for you at the moment. We'll explore what they've been trying to say to you and how they're aiding you at this time. Close your eyes and take a few breathes, when you're ready choose an image below

Pile one

What they've been trying to say 》

Your guardian angel is acknowledging a fear or blockage you have surrounding your own intution. Perhaps it seems unrealistic to you that you would have any ability, impossible even. Others are simply afraid of all this has to offer. What if I'm wrong? What if my I tuition is misguding me? What if it's a coincidence?

Your guardian angel has been trying to communicate the power you have and how you're blocking it off. Awaken to your intution and your subconcious and be receptive to the signs you're getting. let your angel have connection with you through your intutuion. Your angel also wants you to know that you have a whole community of people just like you. whenever you're afraid or unsure about your intuition, confinde in them with your questions. Don't just dismiss yourself or deny yourself the opportunity to understand a sign or Intutive further.

How this angel is supporting you at the moment 》

You've been feeling out of sorts, upside down, you could be having a physical problem or just losing your energy completely. Maybe you've lost the motivation to do things you love to do, or even just the things you need to do. Your angel is helping you rediscover the energy within you so that you can keep moving forward. This angel is recovering your inner strength and willpower and healing you. Be receptive to this energy occurring on the inside out. Your angel is essentially helping you heal and recover, for those who may have e been sick recently your angel is especially helping you with that.

Pile two

What your guardian angel has been saying to you》

Your angel wants you to know that your power has been increasing, now is not a time to be passive or submissive. However, like pile one, there's some blockages to your intution that makes it hard to see where you need to direct this power. Your angel wants you to know that you have the power to create your own destiny at this moment but you lack the vision to actually set it into action. Focus on visualizing or using your senses to create an image of what you want to do. Don't let your innate power to go to waste, they have been trying to tell you to use your power and have a vision for that energy to manifesf

How this angel is helping you at this moment 》 this angel is helping all your wishes to come true, this angel wants to see abundance and prosperity take place in your life. This angel is helping you manifest and take action towards your desires. As we said earlier, you're struggling to use your intution and third eye to visualize what it is you want, this angel is wanting you do that so that all your wishes come to frution. They cant help if they dont know what you want! If you can't visualize, use your senses (taste, smell, touch, hearing) to imagine what your manifestion would be like.

Pile three

What your angel has been trying to communicate》

Your guardian angel is communicating to me that you've been dealing with anxiety- emotionally you're overwhelmed and don't know how much more you can take. You've been brooding over something, something has caused you to spend signifigant mental energy on ruminating or worrying. Your angel has been trying to tell you that the storm is passing, whatever it is your worried about or worked up about, it's actually on its way out of your life it's going to be resolved. Your angel simply wants you to know it's ok, that this period of stress won't last much longer it's ok to let yourself relax.

How this angel is helping you right now 》 this angel is bringing new beginnings in your finances or career. Your angel is helping you expand in abundant ways so that you can embrace opportunities that pay you well. If this is what you were worried about, you angel wants you to know that anxiety is leaving and abundance is coming. Any constraints that were making you anxious is going to be a thing of the past. They are helping you perceive open doors, opportunities and even gifts

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sam-the-friendly-ghost · 6 months

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Sam's Chats with the Void: Becoming "More Neurodivergent"

Hi, I'm Sam, and I have diagnosed ADHD and am suspected to be autistic. By that I mean a psychiatrist has told me "I think you and I can both agree you have autistic traits and characteristics, but it would cost 3500 dollars to get diagnosed." I want to make this ABSOLUTLY clear before I start this conversation, I AM neurodivergent.

Since I've figured all this out people have mentioned that I "seem more ADHD/Autistic than before." I want to talk about this Idea since I think it's a damaging sentiment for anyone with a disability, but especially invisible ones. And Yes, neurodivergence is a disability.

It is true, that my neurodivergence HAS become more noticeable since I figured all of this out, but it isn't acting, or exaggerating the affect of my disabilities. For YEARS I've masked my symptoms to fit in, and in doing so have caused myself a lot of mental damage. One of the things I would do was avoid stimming. Stimming is one of the few ways I can help myself process and regulate my emotions. Meltdowns, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and depressive episodes were (and still are since healing takes FOREVER) my normal. By working to unmask, I've found that I have a much better relationship with myself, and my neurodivergence.

I have mild Auditory Processing Disorder, which is common with ADHD and Autism. I used to say stupid things when I misheard people, and get extremely frustrated when people would get mad at me when I was trying my best. If you don't know what APD is, it's your brain not processing words correctly. It's kind of like playing a giant game of fill in the blank anytime someone says anything. I've gotten so much better at asking for people to repeat what they've said because I'm a bit unsure of what they said. On bad days I even ask that they say it in a different way (a trick that helps me a lot) so miscommunication doesn't happen anymore.

I have attention deficit HYPERACTIVE disorder. I've always had lots of energy, but throughout my time in school I stopped showing it. The hyperactivity was still there, but it was internal. Internal hyperactivity led to more disorganization, losing things, time blindness, and anxiety. By letting my hyperactivity physically come out, my brain has become less cluttered, and it's easier to manage my ADHD. It still causes problems, but it's made me so much happier, and capable of taking on the world.

I'm much more clear when I need sensory breaks. I pull out my headphones when out with friends, I say no to touching certain things, or even just comment on when something becomes too much. A bad sensory experience causes stress, and by making it clear I need breaks, and taking them I can just do more. I can hangout with my friends for longer, I can be productive even after leaving my house, I can avoid meltdowns more often than not.

I could go on and on forever, but this is pretty long already

All in all, yes, I do appear more neurodivergent to others, but I'm not, I just have a healthier relationship with my disabilities.. And please DON'T accuse people of faking anything, cause we arnt.

#sam the friendly ghost #adhd #autism #audhd #disability #disabilties #neurospicy #neurodivergent

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autisticlifelessons · 7 months

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Tips for helping your autistic child thrive at home

So, I'm not a parent myself, but I did grow up in a household where both myself and my sibling (both AFAB) had undiagnosed autism, and we're pretty sure our father is autistic, too. I've also got some teaching experience where I supported neurodivergent children and their families. Based on this experience and my own research, here are some tips you can use at home to help your autistic child thrive. These are biased towards my particular experience and may not apply to your own child, but they should give you an idea of the sorts of things you can do.

Give lots of emotional reassurance - the world is seriously overwhelming for an autistic child. Children's brains are still developing, and the younger they are or the greater their needs are the more help they will need with co-regulation of their emotions. Bear in mind that, especially for AFAB children, they may mask heavily at school and present absolutely no behavoural problems only to come home and explode. This is because home is their safe place where they can show more authentically how they are really feeling.

Be led by your child's needs and interests, and be prepared for these to change over time - many autistic people develop intense interests in specific things, which are known as 'special interests'. The stereotypical special interests most people have heard of are things like trains, but be aware that some girls who are really, REALLY into ponies are actually expressing neurodivergent traits. Showing your support for exploring these interests is hugely beneficial (and makes present buying a breeze lol). Of course, autism is a spectrum and presents differently in different autistic people. Many like the structure of a routine, for example, but don't force a visual timetable on your child if this is clearly something that isn't helping them. As your child gets older, their interests and needs will change with them, so be prepared to adapt and keep the lines of communication open.

Be prepared to give your child extra support navigating friendships and social situations - for many autistic people, social situations are highly stressful for lots of different reasons, and for children who are still learning how to navigate in the world this is doubly true. Encourage your child to develop friendships with others who respect them, but accept that they may not always communicate in ways that are socially expected (eg they may prefer parallel play). Autistic children can sometimes be more vulnerable to bullying or being taken advantage of, so ensure your child knows how to communicate boundaries and what to do if another child (or adult) is causing problems. In more general social situations such as going to the doctor or on holiday, your child may be more anxious and unsure of what is expected of them. Practicing these situations before hand through 'make believe' play is a great way of giving them a chance to develop the appropriate social scripts and feel more at ease.

Be aware that co-morbid conditions are often present alongside autism - it is very common that autistic children will have at least one other physical or mental co-morbid condition (basically means it occurs alongside). My sibling, for example, also has ADHD, PTSD, BPD, anorexia, dyscalculia, anxiety, depression, IBS, anaemia, eczema and insomnia (and yes I DID get permission to share that, it's all in their insta bio anyway). Be on the lookout for other symptoms not necessarily covered by autism and advocate for your child to get the support they need. Another thing to bear in mind is that autism often runs in families - if you or your child's other biological parent recognise traits either in yourselves or in family members, there's probably a reason why.

I really hope my tips were useful to you. As I mentioned already, your child may have very different support needs from me. You know them best.

Follow me for more tips - both for autistic adults and teenagers and parents of autistic children.

#autism #autistic tips #actually autistic #autistic #autistic child #parenting #children #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodiverse #special education #autistic parenting #education #families #audhd

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thefloatingstone · 11 months

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You know what's a big problem that i have never seen ANYBODY talk about??

There are so many posts about needing to accommodate people in public who, due to a condition or mental health problem they have, might act out of the ordinary. People who talk to themselves or who have physical ticks etc etc. And the thing is I FULLY agree with this.

The PROBLEM is people who say this always seem to think any kind of nervous or fearful behaviour is ableist. That if you are unnerved and become afraid or just stressed while around them in public then the only reason for doing so is because you are being ableist.

But here's the thing;

I have a generalised anxiety disorder. It is a splinter skill caused by my ADHD. I can function but it is a constant in my every day life that manifests at different levels of intensity depending on what I'm doing. I am extremely lucky that I am not strongly affected by being in large crowds of people.

But you know what DOES raise my anxiety? Interacting one on one with people I am not super familiar with. Hell even people I AM super familiar with, I can be an anxious mess in my head even if I don't show it. Everything I say or how I react is measured in my head to see if I have done so "correctly" and I am constantly watching and analysing the other person's reactions to see how they respond to make sure I have not done something wrong that they might object to.

Now imagine taking THAT level of anxiety that is already amplified by FAMILIAR interaction with people i KNOW and picture how that anxiety responds to interacting or speaking to someone who, due to their own mental health or otherwise condition, behaves in a way my anxiety doesn't know how to respond to "correctly".

My anxiety has a full blown MELTDOWN.

I have had shaking adrenaline reactions to hanging out with someone who has autism who I don't know but am speaking to because they are part of a group I am hanging out with. And because their autism manifests in difficult social interaction, my OWN anxiety has no idea how to interpret how they behave to make sure I am "interacting properly".

It's not because I consciously have a stigma against people with behaviours or ticks. It is literally my own condition clashing with the other person's condition. So even though I may mentally be well aware that this person is not harmful, it doesn't stop the anxiety from just freaking the fuck out because it has no idea how to navigate the social interaction.

As a result, if I am on a public bus and a person sitting near me is talking to themselves or having a tick or anything like that, I may get off the bus and wait for another one. Not to be a dick or because I have some sort of hatred for this person, but because I have an anxiety disorder that is getting triggered hardcore.

I never see this mentioned EVER in discussions about being accommodating towards other people's conditions. And it sucks because it makes me feel like I am a bad person for, IRONICALLY, having a condition that causes me to behave a certain way.

#metal health #anxiety #I feel it worth mentioning the vast majority of my closest friends end up having ADHD or autism or both #So it's not like a blanket rule #But it does suck being told you're a horrible person because your anxiety causes you to behave a certain way #idk maybe I'm the asshole

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subparcarrion · 2 months

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CW//TW: kinda vent, discussion of tics and tic attacks (and some of the aftermath for me), discussion of high stress and anxiety situations, cussing/cursing, discussion of physical pain, discussion of pills.

(ACTUAL POST UNDER CUT.)

So... yeah,,,

Tic attacks, gonna have to go with ☆☆☆☆☆/★★★★★ (0/5). Especially at close to four in the morning at a sleepover.

Not really sure why I'm deciding to put it out on the internet, but I guess I wanna talk about it or smth. And with March break and my crippling social anxiety the closest I've come to talking about it irl is a quick "that was kinda traumatic ngl" to a close friend over text.

In retrospect it makes sense, it's the most stressed I've been in a while now paired with a lot of just having to be constantly "on" and feeling scared to say no.

For context I did a pseudo babysitting job for a family friend from around mid afternoon to nearly midnight. I then decided to go a sleepover with my friends late since they had been kind enough to move the date so I could attend. (Probably not the best idea for the future who has a bad anxiety disorder and probably a lot of other stuff, but when have I ever said no.)

The job itself was pretty stressful but the kid and her mom's are super nice and did their best to accommodate me, so that was really nice. (They also paid me really well when I would have honestly done if for free so I'm not gonna complain. Anything bad was kinda just unavoidable considering it was me who was doing the job.)

Im also not really gonna bitch about the sleepover too much, my friends are lovely, the timing just made things rough.

Since I was arriving so late we hung out for like an hour and then went to bed (at least tried to go to bed), a lot of tha time was just kinda spent getting ready for bed though. There's nothing wrong with that, I just ended up feeling a little like I had missed out on the best part of stuff. (Again, no one else's fault.)

Everyone else fell asleep pretty quick, however I was not tired at all. It wasn't unexpected though, going from one high stress situation to another doesn't really let you let your guard down. Let alone feel properly sleepy.

So I just kinda did some stuff on my phone for thirty minutes to see if I would get tired and then decided to finally turn in for the night still very much all to aware of everything.

At this point it's probably important to mention that everyone in my froend group has at least a passing interest in a game called "The Stanley Parable". And if you didn't know you can go into an elevator in that game, and it kinda just plays this goofy elevator music in loup until you leave.

It is thus tradition in my friend group to play the elevator music while we fall asleep at any and all sleepovers where it is possible and everyone is chill with it.

The elevator is kinda some basic lyricless pop-ish kinda techno song where you can occasionally, if you listen closely enough hear the narrator hum along with the tune. The song itself is a certified banger, but I was stressed as fuck and hyperaware of everything. It was safe to say it was driving me crazy, especially the humming part.

I didn't really have any means to turn it off though and I would feel bad doing it. After all, I had agreed to it any it would be distruptful to try since it was super late and the room was pretty packed. To move around too much would probably wake someone up. (Wow, foreshadowing or smth.)

I never really got to sleep and it was around late three in the morning, nearly four when shit really started to hit the fan.

(Another bout of context before I continue: so I've had what I'm just calling tics at this point for about a year now, maybe a bit longer. At least that's when they started getting really noticeable and causing real problems for me. Personally for me it's mostly motor ticks that get much worse in stressful situations. Stressful situations being an iffy description that could cover pretty much anything on acount of the anxiety disorder. Albeit over time it has developed into mostly motor ticks with occasional verbal ones.

I can have periods where they are happening very few times a day and then ones where they are happening several times a minute, either way they never really go away. I had been doing pretty good tick wise before this whole ordeal, now it's definitely leaning towards the worse, more disruptive and painful side.)

It started off with a ciuple of my usual motor tics, getting more and more aggressive very quickly. For the most part these would consist of things like my shoulders jumping up and hitting the vase of my head and neck or my hands doing weird shit.

By the time the verbal tics started the motor tics were so aggressive and frequent they were getting pretty painful. This would be the same time I would start making small squeaks as a verbal tick.

It became pretty clear after that this wasn't stopping any time soon so I sat up and used my pillow to cover my mouth in hopes to muffle the noise so I wouldn't wake anyone.

This was the point where something changed and my tics got the worst they'd ever been. It went from squeaks to small screams and loud grunts. And I was just sitting there in pain scared out of my mind for nearly and hour before the noise finally woke up my friends. Cuz despite all my effort a pillow can't hide constant screaming for very long.

When my friends woke up they were reasonably concerned, they knew I had tics that could occasionally get kinda bad but this was the worst it had been, and I could barely explain through the ticks that it had been going on for about an hour. There was definitely no way I was calming them down, and in all fairness I was freaking out too and they handled the whole shitshow remarkably well.

They probably spent twenty minutes or more trying to calm me down or help, but nothing was working, in fact it might have been getting worse. One of my friends also tried Google-ing it, but Google pretty much said drug him or ignore them were feasible options for yours truly, the little bitch boy.

My friend eventually got their mom and I regained enough control to pack my shit and got driven home. I downed as much sleeping and pain meds as I was allowed to take and continued ticking until I passed out.

Idk,,, not a particularly entertaining story, ig I just wanted to get it out somewhere.

As for me right now, it's been two days and I can't go five minutes without some sort of tic at most.

However, I'm feeling somewhat better, even if my neck hurts like shit.

I suppose that's all, thanks for listening to me bitch and moan tumblr. <33 /p

-carrion_

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littlemoonastrology · 5 months

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All About: SAGITTARIUS♐︎ - The Zodiac Signs

This post will cover all the basic information needed to understand Sagittarius, the ninth Zodiac Sign!

Take a look at my other posts to see information on: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra and Scorpio!

Capricorn is coming next! Keep a look out!

If you feel like this post has helped you feel free to Follow, Reblog or Repost (as long as I'm credited!)

[UPDATE]

My Big 3 Astrology Readings are open! If you'd like to purchase one or support me, head on over to my Ko-Fi https://ko-fi.com/littlemoonastrology . <3 Thank you!!

Sagittarius ♐︎

Date (Only applies to Sun Signs): November 22 - December 21

Symbol: ♐︎ - The Archer

Associated House: Ninth

Associated Degrees: 9°, 21°

Associated Energy: Masculine

Planetary Ruler(s): ♃ Jupiter (Modern and Traditional)

Element: Fire

Modality: Mutable

Keywords: Individualistic, Resilient, Passionate, Wise, Unpredictable, Funny

If you have a Sagittarius placement you are very opportunistic, passionate, wise and always ready to move on to the next project! Naturally curious, Sagittarius can explore many different topics at once and are very patient with themselves when learning something new. Whilst someone with this placement may have many different kinds of passions, ideals and interests it almost always falls under a niche/theme (even if it takes a while to find). This means it can become really easy for a Sagittarius to promote themselves if they wanted to start their own business or become well known (especially because they are also great at networking)! A lot of times, this placement can come across as quite chaotic, funny and blunt - a Sagittarius friend will always be there to cheer you up and make you laugh (but they WILL be blunt and give you harsh honesty)!

As silly a Sagittarius placement may come across to other people, these placements can also be insanely hardworking and intelligent if they put their mind to it! Surprisingly too, you might find a Sagittarius can be drawn to the Academics (like literature, law, psychology and science). However, in some cases this may be an aspect of a Sagittarius placement trying to cope with stress or some kind of anxiety (especially if the person is an overachiever). In some kind of extreme case, a Sagittarius placement may try to cope using different means and may have an addictive personality, causing them to lose passion for life and their ideals and go through a cycle of self-sabotage.

When a Sagittarius placement feels like they are being controlled or stuck, they may tend to brood on the problem and become quite pessimistic, feeling like they have no way out and ask loads of people for guidance (or even incessantly research their issue to find an answer). On the other end of the spectrum, someone with this placement might completely close off from people and their emotional space, focusing on a warped "realistic" perception of the world. At this point, they may become a bit of a loner. It's important for a Sagittarius at this point to not give up on trying to receive the freedom (financially, emotionally, physically) they want to accomplish so they can fully enjoy the rewards at the end. A Sagittarius will always find the way!

Sagittarius placements as also deeply empathetic, but this doesn't mean they will tell you you are in the right when you are in the wrong no matter the explanation. This can make this sign come across as somewhat careless or apathetic to people when it is not the case at all - they're saying it because they want you to improve and genuinely help out. It's important for someone with this placement to not be too relentless or harsh with their words in order to properly connect and help.

Notes/Keywords/Phrases

Zodiac Sign

Each of the Zodiac Signs are a constellation. The Zodiac Sign shows how a Planet/Asteroid/Fixed Point/House is being represented and expressed. Once a Planet/Asteroid/Fixed Point/House falls into a Zodiac Sign, it adopts the energy of it.

For example: if Mercury falls into the constellation Sagittarius, Mercury adopts Sagittarian traits. If the 6th House falls into the constellation Aquarius, the 6th House adopts Aquarian traits.

Associated House

The Houses in Astrology are dependent on the time and location of birth in a Natal Chart and there are 12 different ones. Each of these 12 Houses are then assigned to a Zodiac Sign and 1 or 2 Planetary Rulers. The Houses in Astrology show you what area of life the energy of the Zodiac and Planets/Asteroids/Fixed Points is appointed to and helps provide depth into the chart.

For example: Capricorn's Associated House is the 10th House.

Associated Degrees

When a Planet/Asteroid/Fixed Point/House falls into a Zodiac Sign constellation, it will be appointed a Degree. This Degree shows how far along the Planet/Asteroid/Fixed Point/House is in a Zodiac Sign. Each Degree is also associated with a Zodiac Sign, meaning when this Degree comes up it can nuance the way the Zodiac Sign of a Planet/Asteroid/Fixed Point/House is being represented.

For example: Mars is 6° in the Zodiac Cancer, 6° represents Virgo - therefore the Cancer Mars also takes on Virgo traits. The 2nd House is 23° in the Zodiac Scorpio, 23° represents Aquarius - therefore the 2nd House in Scorpio takes on Aquarian traits.

Planetary Ruler(s)

This phrase refers to the Planet(s) that rule a Zodiac Sign. When a Planet falls into the Zodiac Sign it has rulership over, the energy of both the Planet and the Zodiac Sign is amplified.

For example: Pisces' Planetary Ruler is Neptune.

Modern / Traditional

These words are associated with two kinds of Astrology: Modern Astrology and Traditional Astrology. Traditional Astrology refers to Astrology that was practiced before the 19th century, whilst Modern Astrology refers to Astrology that is practiced now. Some people choose to practice Traditional Astrology, some people choose to practice Modern Astrology, whilst some others might practice both types or combine them together.

Element

Each Zodiac Sign/Planet/House/Degree is associated with an Element and this covers certain traits which are unique to the Zodiac Sign/Planet/House/Degree they correspond to.

These Elements are: Fire, Air, Water and Earth.

Modality

Much like an Element, each Zodiac Sign/Planet/House/Degree is associated with a Modality. The Modality describes what the focus of a placement is and how the energy is expressed.

There are 3 different Modalities: Cardinal, Mutable and Fixed.

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