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arosesstorm · 2 years

Text

untied spell | Alec Lightwood

words count: idk sorry

gender neutral reader! x Alec Lightwood

warning: angst, my fav

summary: the nigh of Max's party at Bane's, a truth was revealed, a painful one, yours

English is not my first language loves, trying my best, enjoy :)

"dear, so glad you came" Magnus welcomed you inside the house, his sharp eyes the first thing that reminded you you were in trap.

"how could I not come, after all, it is Max's party" a sigh escaping your lips as Magnus closed the door behind your back.

"here" he handed you a drink, his mouth close to your ear "I know you and Alexander aren't in the best of terms now but I beg of you let's enjoy the evening"

a light of amusement crossed your face "what the high warlock of Brooklyn says.." a gulp as the drink slide into your throat.

as Magnus looked at you make your way into the living room he couldn't help but sigh "this is going to be a disaster".

as soon as your eyes met Izzies a calming wave washed over your body "so glad I found you" you admitted as soon as the dark haired reached for your arm to interlock with hers.

"So glad you found the right member of the Lightwood family you mean"

you couldn't help but glare as she put her hands up in surrender "alright, got it, I'm sorry".

finding out you were not the only Herondale left was one thing, discovering your younger brother was Jace Wayland was a total different matter.

you would have be the happiest to hear the news if not only the closest friend you had didn't hide it from you.

"for your own good" Alec had said, but it just made you want to throw up.

"you don't have a clue on what's good for me" you had replied the night you had found out.

safe to say, you avoided the man since.

you and Izzy went for the bar, ordering the strongest they had with only a thought in mind, the time of your departure.

"why hasn't Max still arrived?"

"Alec was meant to take him but he's running late"

"as usual" you felt the need to add, as you sipped from your second drink, it was strong.

when you turned to the door again you saw him, his place steady, his eyes hard, all that gloomy act and Alec was still Alec, a ferocious dog without teeth.

"let's go great Max" Isabelle dragged you toward the small circle as you looked at everyone but him.

"my little hunter!" exclaimed the girl hugging the boy thigh as you smiled down at him "guess you'll be my next right arm huh?" you joked ruffling his hair.

"you bet since everyone seems to die when they get close to you" your head shot in Alec's direction, your eyes as thin as those of a fox "what did you just say?"

the man shook his head, looking around for support, "what do you mean?" he asked.

you were about to bark back when Magnus stood between you two, his voice louder "ah! it is a great party, let's leave the celebrated to it".

eyes glaring while you sighed hard, "need another drink".

the rest of the evening went down better than expected, Alec seemed to respect your boundaries, in fact, you were able to avoid him for most of the night.

it wasn't until you saw Clary shot for the bar on the left that something just switched.

"i have to go" you told a tipsy Isabelle as you left the couches, your steps taking you to the terrace when you noticed a door slightly open, someone laying on the floor.

your feet stopped as you regained consciousness, what was going on?

only when you made your way inside the room you spotted a terrified Jace on the right.

"Jace! what is going on?" you asked reaching for who you had recognized was Maryse Lightwood laying unconscious on the floor.

"she tried to kill me!" he spoke, his voice harsh yet panicked, "Maryse?" you asked, too unlikely to be true.

"yes!" he half screamed as he approached you, his eyes wet with tears and his jaw hard.

he was in pain and it pained you too.

your brother, was in pain, your brother, was in pain.

you didn't know how you arrived to that conclusion but suddenly, as bright as day, the culprit's name flashed before your eyes.

Alec.

Alec was the reason your brother was in pain, the reason you yourself were.

you marched out of the room, a surprised Isabelle crossing your path as she got in.

"y/n!" she called for you, but it was late now, you were already half way to the terrace when you spot him.

Lost gaze as he was stearing at the night sky, his back facing you.

he felt someone approaching and was quick to turn around: "y/n.." he had the time to say before you pushed him backwords, hands searching for the daggers behind your back.

"y/n!" he screamed now, his eyes blank as he was glaring at you.

"hiding my brother for me is a thing, but hurting him?" you half screamed, daggers now in view.

then, the unexpected happened, his lips lift into a dark smile as he chuckled "what am I? the bane of your existence?" he laughed.

you were taken aback, losing your steadiness as you stumbled back, his body swinging forward as he took the daggers out of your hands, hitting the ground hard.

"what is going on with you?" Alec asked but you couldn't help but hear "Just say it, we both know what your problem is".

your heart roared as you jumped on him, fist swinging, as he tried to block you as best as he could.

"you know nothing about me!" you screamed.

"I do, I always did" he spoke, as you fell on the concrete, his body steadying you as he positioned himself above you.

"you are not mad at me because I've hidden Jace is your brother, you are mad because you are a worthless piece of shit, the weak of the family and the soft hearted", your hands burning as you were trying to get free, "all this time and you were just trying to run away from your feeling, from your feelings for m-"

"no!" you screamed as your feet kicked him on the back, the boy crawling to the floor.

you looked like an animal, a beast as you jumped to Alec's lap, your fist white as you aimed for his face.

"you have to stay away from me!" you screamed, gatting the dagger from the ground as you pressed it to Alec's throat.

your eyes watery as ho looked at you sympathetically.

"y/n!" you heard a voice as you suddenly snapped out of it.

your hands trembling as you throw the dagger away, looking at Alec on the ground, his eyes soft, in pain.

"I'm sorry" you mumbled, quickly getting on your feet again.

Magnus rushed forward as he touched your shoulder softly, "I'm sorry he was-", "he was saying things I-", "I'm sorry".

you felt like throwing up.

"Alec!" Maryse rushed forward, kneeling on the ground, "what happened?"

"I'm fine" he breathed, his eyes glued to his opponent's face.

"y/n" the boy spoke, getting on his feet "are you alright?".

"have you all lost your minds?" Maryse barked, shooting for Jace who was now standing behind you and Magnus.

"you almost killed me!"

"do you all hear what she is saying to me?"

"Jace" Clary touched the man's shoulder as Simon entered the room.

"what is wrong?" he asked, "Maia is by the bar if you are wondering" Clary blunted stern.

"something's wrong" you heard Magnus whisper as he left your side, making his way inside the apartment.

"don't you ever spoke to me again" you stated with gritted teeth, eyes wet with tears as Alec looked at you with that same very eyes.

"don't be ridiculous" he answered.

you turned your back as you left the crowd, your brother trying to reach you but failing.

you had just touched the door's knob as Alec held your arm forcing you to turn around.

"reason with me" he pleaded "let's be logical".

"I can't!" you answered with a ferocity that broke the man's heart.

"you know why" a string seemed to unlace inside your head and your vision cleared again, but it didn't change the fact that it was obvious now, at least to you.

"y/n" he breathed.

"we know why" and you left the room praying for the night to end painlessly.

part 2?

masterlist

mia

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happyandticklish · 2 years

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It wasn't for the ask game I just love how you write him 🥰 but now I've seen there IS an ask game may I please have Stede for 🙈

🙈 -‘Tickled Silly’ Laughter

“What’s this?”

It was a fair question, though not one as easily answered. Ropes found their way crisscrossed over his chest, tugging in uncomfortable places and making movement of his left arm significantly more difficult than before. Some were wrapped around his thigh and seemed to have been placed there as a kind of support, instead serving only to slowly cut off circulation in his right leg.

Stede glanced up at the voice, flushing a tad at the embarrassing predicament. He hopped a little, waving with his free hand. “Oh, hello! I didn’t realize you were awake already.”

“Izzy wanted to discuss our ration selection—did we get invaded while I was with him?” Ed walked across the ship, giving him a skeptical glance-over. “Or did the crew decide to mutiny again? If so, I might have to give them some pointers on their rope work later. This is a mess, mate.”

“Ah, no, actually.” Stede leaned back against the mast of the ship, grunting a bit as the shift in weight caused the ropes to slide against him. “You see, I was thinking about how you probably missed a bit of that adventure from your old life—you know, all the wild twists and turns and the like. So I figured, why not throw a Fuckery of my own? A little theatrical performance to lighten things up.”

Ed raised a brow, amused and touched at the notion. Stede could be sweet when he wanted to, thoughtful in ways that always threw Ed off because he hadn’t been taught to expect it. “I see. And the ropes?”

“Well, you made it look rather easy when you pulled that whole fake flying stunt a while back, I thought I might give it a go.” Stede glanced up at the ropes, leading all the way up to crow’s nest where they were weakly tied around one of the wooden bars. “Things did not go exactly according to plan.”

“Yes, well, a good Fuckery is hard to pull off, and the ropes thing took me years of practice, I can’t believe you’d thought you’d manage it in one morning. And around your leg too! Jesus, Stede.” Ed kneeled down, managing to slide his fingers under the rope for leverage as he tugged. “It’s a wonder you’re getting any blood flow at this rate, what was your plan if no one woke up?”

Instead of being met with any kind of explanation (though Ed doubted he had one in the first place), Ed froze as Stede yelped, jerking his leg back as much as he could in his position. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Stede quickly shook his head, still a bit flushed, though that may have been the sun. “No, nothing of the sort. It just... well, your hand tickled a bit is all. It’s my fault, I should have mentioned I’m sensitive there before you started so you could have known to be careful.”

He spoke the words casually, despite his embarrassment, as though he weren’t revealing a crucial weakness to one of the most ruthless pirates in all of Europe. Ed smirked, ducking his head so Stede couldn’t see it.

“You know, you really should learn to be less trusting.” Ed hooked his fingers once more, gently scratching against his thigh in an effort to help the rope come down. He grabbed onto his other thigh for support as he did, squeezing gently. “Otherwise people might take advantage of your faith.”

“W-Wait, Ed, it mmhmm, aha, t-tihickles!”

“Sorry mate, this is the only way for me to get it off. You’re just gonna have to bear through.”

Soft giggles trickled out of Stede, stifled and broken as he half-heartedly attempted to stop them. He twitched and squirmed underneath his fingers, unable to hold still, but unable to move away due to these damn ropes. It didn’t even tickle that bad, but the helplessness combined with that particular spot was making him giddy and anxious. Giggles turned into breathless laughter as he gripped Ed’s hair, the closest thing within reach, and pulled sharply.

It worked in that the tickling paused for the briefest of moments as Ed grunted in annoyance, stopping only to reach up and pin Stede’s hand to his side so he could continue his work in peace. Completely pinned now, Stede couldn’t help but jerk his leg back every time Ed’s fingers got close, making his task almost impossible.

“Stop squirming so much, I haven’t even done anything!”

“I’m trying but—Ed nononOHO!”

“I hardly even grazed you, man.”

Stede let out a noise that could be classified by some as a whine. “Yes but it’s going to tickle, a lot, and you can hardly expect me to just sit still and take iHIHIT! Shit! Ahaha, E-Ed!”

“Sorry, what were you saying?” Ed glanced up at him, eyes twinkling with mischief. “I got a bit distracted there, mind repeating it for me?”

To his credit, Stede did try, but now that Ed was tickling in earnest, it was impossible to focus. He giggled wildly, shrieking whenever he would pinch unexpectedly into the skin. All he wanted to do was shrink down into a little ball on deck, but the ropes held him stubbornly upright and in the perfect line of attack for Ed’s hand.

Stede was grateful for his pants, providing an added layer between Ed’s fingers and bare skin, but he hardly had time to be relieved over it while Ed’s nails were dancing so distractingly under the backs of his thighs. Stede nearly kicked Ed in the face for that, his laughter shrieking into silence instead. He scrabbled his legs over the deck to try to get away, a sight he was sure looked ridiculous, and he found himself grateful the rest of the crew hadn’t woken up yet. He doubted this would earn him any intimidation points amongst them, and he was already so low in the score there that he couldn’t take another hit.

He hadn’t protested once, a fact Ed was quick to pick up on, though he chose not to comment on it—not now at least. It was still too soon for talk like that.

So instead, he chose to dig his fingers into the apparently deathly ticklish spot on his inner thigh and try not to lose his mind over the way Stede’s face crinkled before falling open into mirth.

It was a better gift than the Fuckery, anyway.

Thank you so much for the ask, and for the kind words!! I’m finding that I really like writing Stede’s dialogue, so thank you for indulging me~

#tickle fic #ask game #our flag means death #asks #answered ask #drabble #fanfiction #stede bonnet #edward teach #blackstede

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onlylostphysics · 1 year

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so the lovely @livelydiver sent me an ask and when I tried to save my answer as a draft it ??? disappeared? was sent privately? literally who knows. Deeply sorry if you get two versions of this <3

my 5 DVD extras (author's commentary and deleted scenes) for elegant and restrained

1. An earlier version of the beginning:

The thing is, between one gut wound and another they haven't really touched in a while. Stede was beginning to worry that maybe Ed had had enough of that side of things, or thought that Stede didn't need any more instruction. [It's not like Ed could have found a different friend to be…. friendly with, is it? They spend all their time together. It's a small ship. It's a miracle Ed isn't sick of him yet.] There was that one night, a few days ago where they'd stayed up drinking as usual and Ed had crashed on the sofa instead of going back to his cabin and Stede had heard him… doing… breathing… He wondered why Ed didnt ask for a hand but, well, they were both supposed to be asleep. Stede had been complaining lightheartedly about the pain in his side every time he breathed that evening, so it made sense that Ed hasn't wanted to bother him. Still. Stede had been rock hard and hadn't dared move. The point is, it's been a while, and Stede is ready for more. Very, very ready. He keeps looking at Ed's arms, his throat, the line where Stede's (Ed's now, he supposes) cravat wraps around his skin.

2. I wrote A LOT of notes trying to figure stuff out for this fic:

Can I include this sculpture:

was Bernini a big deal in 1700s british society? idk Max Mad certainly wasn't but that never stopped Ed from cosplaying him. Would Stede give a fuck about sculpture? only the super life-like dudes.

What is Stede's deal:

stede commits 100% to things. he throws himself in. incredible confidence with zero skills. ed is most into it when stede isn't actually trying, is just being himself. stede likes feeling powerful, and in control (of his life).

trying to figure out when to set this fic:

set after 6, so izzy's gone and they've both been stabbed not too long ago.

set before 7, for neatness? mainly so stede's turn can be just before 8. so ed is in deep, so deep, but he's got one foot out the door because he doesn't know how into him stede is. ed taking happiness where he can. oscillating wildly between opening up his chest for stede to hold him gently and curling up into a spiky ball because this is too. much. and he's in so fucking deep.

he plans this because he still doesn't realise the depth of his feelings. he thinks this will just be fun. he wants stede to fuck him and lo, a plan appears. it's not until he's in the middle of it and stede is, god, the most incredible man he's ever met and literally inside of him and yet still not close enough that ed realises he may have fucked up.

trying to figure out Ed's thoughts:

how does ed's fantasy go. there was a lot less body worship to begin with. more force. in his head stede rips off his (ed's) clothes and bends him over the stool and kicks his legs apart and fingers him so roughly he comes immediately, and then fucks him until he's hard again. the real stede is a different kind of lunatic, and ed is gloriously aware that stede has a weird relationship with violence and he hasn't learnt the pain/pleasure line yet. stede isn't going to throw him around, so ed is going to have to manipulate things in a different direction. he was briefly worried stede was going to cry off entirely, when he went all inward and silent.

trying to decide Stede's feelings about what they're about to do:

how does he feel about buggery? it's what you hang for but he's a pirate. the boys at school probably did it? not often, it's probably the most shameful part. greek morals. it's only bad if you're receiving. stede… wants to try it anyway, because if it's morally bad then gosh it must be fun to make it worth it. stede is oblivious. sex between men is acceptable and fun, but he doesn't recognise love. buggery doesn't mean love, it's just another fun thing to do.

honestly, i feel like he thinks it's not something pirates do because it requires more effort and cleaniness and time and intimacy. so when ed suggests it, stede has a revelation. but it's more like, oh, you guys do that kind of thing too? i thought that was just my lot. not with me, but, you know. a lot of classical literature. even the boys at school were a bit more gunshy about who did that.

is he just like. oh thank god, i thought i was the only one who wanted that.

3. Some little moments that didn't fit:

the sun bright and low behind him, curving around his bare arms like paint like chiffon like a lover's hands. making unexplored waves out of his muscles, highlighting curves, deeping the lines where stede wants to run his tongue. he wants to know if that dip behind ed's shoulder is as hard as it looks, or if the muscle would give way to flesh, if ed would soften in his hands or go tense and waiting.

This whole seduction game is frankly marvellous. Stede likes to think he's becoming rather good at taking Ed's lessons and applying them to his own unique style. Perhaps he could play the hostage next time, Stede thinks, and is mildly surprised by the thrill that flashes through him.

i should check you for weapons, stede declares. this could be a trick simply to make me drop my guard.

ed's brows draw together.

i'll have to be very thorough. strip you completely, i think.

oh, ed says. yes, definitely. I have so many weapons on me. i bet you can't find them all.

stede shuffles close, pulling ed close so he's leaning against stede's chest, and this feels curiously familiar and yet deliciously new; like the first time stede got his hand on ed's cock, when he had no idea of the depths / when he had no idea how good ed could make him feel. how good he could make ed feel.

he wraps a hand around ed's beautifully flushed cock and ed groans, his head falling back on stede's shoulder.

mate, ed breathes. if you keep doing that this isn't going to last long. he turns his head, his mouth close to stede's skin and there's a wet slide that stede feels all down his spine as ed kisses his neck.

Nothing to it, Stede thinks. This could be any innocuous stretch of flesh, if he ignores the intimate bits and where Ed's standing to such attention that it curves away and out of sight beneath him.

He doesn't want to. Ignore it, that is. He could quite happily spend the rest of the day studying this new angle now that he has permission to just look, and -- and /touch/ as much as he wants.

What a miracle Ed Teach is. Stede thought he was just disinclined towards amorous activities before he met Ed.

the stretch of skin holding the, er, husband necessities,

the way being with Ed makes him feel like there's sunlight under his skin; not just warm but alive, easy and comforted and shining and happy.

"A very accomplished ravishment," Ed says. "You could probably manage without me, next time."

"Without you?" Stede echoes.

"I think we can agree I've perfected my technique with hostages," Stede says.

"Yep," Ed says. "No notes."

"Wasn't sure if you wanted to anymore," Ed says, his face turned just enough for Stede to see the curve of his cheekbone and the tip of his lovely nose.

"I always want you to," Stede says.

"Good to know," Ed says

4. This Bit:

Stede looks at his hands, from the sturdy width of his thumb to the thin length of his pinkie. Inside. Right.

Please imagine me holding up my hand with my thumb and pinkie finger extended and trying to imagine how Stede would think about this.

first draft version:

stede pulls a face. looks at his hands. pinkie or thumb, he thinks. smallest or largest. which is more like a cock.

thumb it is, circling ed's hole and then, approaching the entrance and slipping straight in and god oh god heat tight heat. ed clenches, or something, his hips not still and stede's thumb is like. fully all the way in.

more, ed gasps. so, stede has two thumbs. kneads that gorgeous flesh to the side and slides in the second one and he can't really help but pull apart, stretching ed wide as ed fucking shouts.

5. So, this bit:

"You should probably check me for weapons, though," Ed says, his neck long as he studies the floor. "This whole begging for mercy thing could just be a very clever ploy," he says, and his gaze is like a cannonball shot to the stomach when he looks up again.

"Right," Stede says, slowly, still thinking about Ed's mouth. About the time Ed put his lips on Stede's neck, and how it felt like his skin was electrified. About coming at a problem from the side, like a pirate, like an ambush.

I really struggled to get Stede to actually fucking move. Eventually I threw in the dagger, but the first attempt went like:

There's two paces of air between them and Stede closes them in a breath, his hands falling to Ed's leather-clad hips as his mouth hits Ed's and Ed makes the most wonderous noise, like the air has been punched out of him and replaced with champagne.

Oops.

#ask meme #most functional website in the world #but anyway thank you so much! <333

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adzeisval · 9 months

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A Little Talk

This is part five. One is here. Two is here. Three is here. Four is here. Also on AO3.

Edward eased Izzy down into the tub of warm water. He was glad that he had gotten impatient when throwing things overboard and hadn’t ditched the tub. It was a bit awkward getting Izzy in; he had to avoid getting Izzy’s left leg wet but keep him propped up so Izzy didn’t have to make much effort to keep himself up.

Izzy had only been awake for two days and he was still very weak.

Izzy sighed and laid his head back on the edge of the tub, “This is nice.”

“I’m glad you like it mate,” Ed said, “Sorry I couldn’t think of a better way to prop up your leg.”

“It works,” Izzy said.

Izzy took the washcloth from Ed and started to clean himself. It wasn’t long before his hands started shaking.

“Let me help,” Edward said.

Izzy handed him the washcloth. He washed Izzy’s back for him and then went to wash Izzy’s hair. Izzy tensed up a bit.

“Sorry,” Edward said.

“Not you. Just a bit of pain,” Izzy said.

Edward sighed, “Well that’s my fault too. I’m sorry Izzy. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I almost killed you.”

“I could have spoken up sooner…”

“But you were scared to,” Ed said.

“I was.”

Ed didn’t know what to say next so he concentrated more on washing Izzy’s hair. He was as gentle as he could be and he was glad when Izzy started to relax a little bit.

“I don’t know why it got to the point where I wanted you to be scared of me,” Ed said at last..

“You didn’t want me to leave so you hobbled me,” Izzy said.

“I did,” Ed said, “Are you still scared of me Izzy?” Ed felt sick at the thought that Izzy was scared, that he was completely dependent on Ed but was secretly terrified. Ed didn’t blame him but it was hard to think about. He braced himself to hear Izzy say it.

“No,” Izzy said, “Not anymore.”

“I don’t want you to be afraid of me ever again,” Ed said, “I hope we can come back from this but…once you’re better Izzy you don’t have to stay. You don’t even have to stay right now. If you’re done I’ll take you anywhere Iz.”

“I don’t want to leave. I…don’t trust anyone else to want to help me stay alive,” Izzy said.

“And after that? What do you want to do?”

“I don’t…I don’t know yet,” Izzy said.

“That’s alright Izzy. First we have to get you healed up and stronger. We’ll find the best leather worker we can and get you a prosthetic.”

“It sounds like you want me to stay,” Izzy said.

“I do. I really do,” Ed said.

“Hmm. I’m getting tired Edward, I need sleep.”

“Of course,” Ed said, finishing up with Izzy’s hair. He helped Izzy back out of the tub and helped him get dry and dressed. He didn’t miss the fact that Izzy was shaking and breathing hard just from the effort of getting dressed.

Izzy fell asleep quickly. He looked a little pale and Edward decided to stay a little while to make sure that Izzy was going to be alright. There was still a chance that something could go wrong; that the infection would surge again or something else might go wrong and he would still lose Izzy.

Ed came to the realization that he would rather lose Izzy and have him be alive and well somewhere else than lose Izzy to death..

Only when Ed was sure that Izzy was just sleeping he left to go do other things. He needed to make sure the ship was well stocked and that they were safe. It was hard to focus on anything.

Ed didn’t know what Izzy would choose to do but that was out of his control. He was beginning to realize he also had choices to make. He didn’t know what he was going to do or what he should be. Would he choose to do something different if Izzy left him versus if Izzy stayed? Was Izzy still wanting, needing, him to be Blackbeard?

Ed didn’t know if he could do that anymore. But…he didn’t know what else to do. Could he get away from what he had done? He just got so mad at his oldest friend that he maimed and nearly killed him, was there any way to come back from that?

He was going to have to talk to Izzy about a lot of things when Izzy was up to more talking. Ed was just thankful he could talk to Izzy. That Izzy hadn’t slipped away. Even if things ended. Even if Izzy left him, Ed was grateful that Izzy was still there.

#ofmd #izzy hands #edward teach #whump

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angstysebfan · 3 years

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The Past Can Break You - 2

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: Smut 18+ only please

When Bucky made it up to your shared room he slowly and silently opened the door. You were sitting on your bed, your back facing the door, but he could tell you were crying by the shaking of your shoulders. It broke his heart to see you so upset.

He closed the door behind him and walked over to sit next to you. He wrapped his metal arm around your waist and pulled you into his embrace. You then openly sobbed into his chest. Bucky caressed your back and kissed you on the head, allowing you to cry.

When you started to calm down you sighed deeply, sniffed, and said, “Are you going to break up with me now?”

Bucky’s heart completely broke. He put his finger under your chin, forcing you to look at him. “No, baby. Of course not. I love you. I love you so much! Why would you think that?” He asks.

“Because before we started dating you told me about Dot and how much she meant to you. You were going to propose when you got home from the war. Well here is your chance to live the life you wanted with the girl you wanted,” you say as tears again start to leak from your eyes.

“Baby, I’m not the same man I was then. Yes, I still have love for Dot, but I’m so madly in love with you. I promise,” he said, kissing your forehead, nose, and then lips.

“I’m going to help Dot become acclimated to the world now, and help her settle. But I promise I will always be here for you, ok?” He asks.

You nod, feeling slightly better. “I love you,” you say.

“I love you too. I’ve gotta get down to the lab. I promised Dot I would be down there with her. But I won’t be long,” he says before kissing you again and then leaving.

You sit and wait for him, hoping it wouldn’t take too long. But after 4 hours you give up on him and go to sleep. You hope that he will keep his word on still loving you. You don’t want to lose him. You love him too much.

- -

1 month later

Over the last several weeks, you’ve only seen Bucky’s about a handful of times. He’s always off with Dot, helping her learn the ways of today, and helping her deal with her “trauma”. Every time he tries to give you a little time she always calls for him saying how upset she is or that she’s about to have a panic attack. You try and be understanding but at the same time it’s really starting to annoy you.

One of the worst things is that he barely even sleeps with you anymore. This morning you woke up to an empty bed, yet again, and head downstairs for breakfast. When you got down to the common room you heard the sound of Dot’s giggles and saw her sitting on the couch with Bucky, her feet on his lap. At that point you lost your appetite, so you went up to the roof instead.

After an hour you hear the door to the roof open as you’re staring off into the distance. You feel arms wrapped around your waist as a stubble chin rest on your shoulder. You decide to ignore him and continue staring off into the distance and several thoughts past of your mind.

“Was looking for you,” Bucky said as he kissed your shoulder. “Why you up here all alone?”

You sigh, “well I’m used to being alone a lot these days. And I guess I didn’t feel like sitting there watching you and Dot flirt in the common room,“ you say annoyed.

You hear him sigh behind you as he puts his forehead on your shoulder. “I know, and I’m so sorry that I haven’t been around much. I’m just trying to do my best to help her,” He said.

“I promise I’ll try and do better at managing my time so that I can spend more time with my girl,“ he says as he kisses the back of your head and trails kisses all the way down to your neck.

He turns you around in his arms and rests his forehead on yours. Before you know it you are both swaying to no music, until Bucky starts singing your song. You wrap your arms around his neck as you both slow dance to your song as Bucky sings. When he finishes you kiss him passionately.

“Tonight we will have date night. No Dot, no interruptions, just you, me, and that new lingerie you bought a few weeks ago,” he says as he continues to sway you.

You smile widely at the thought of spending a night alone with your boyfriend. “Oh Bucky, that sounds amazing! I’ve missed you so much, and I get what your doing, but it’s hard,” you say.

“I know. I’ve been neglecting you and it ends now. You are my priority, not Dot. And I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you. Tonight,” he says.

You kiss him in reply.

- -

Later that night, after dinner and another bout of dancing, you come out of the bathroom with your new lingerie set. You stand in the doorway staring at your half naked boyfriend. Bucky’s eyes darken with lust as he starts to stalk towards you like a lion about to pounce.

“You look good enough to eat, baby,” he says huskily. He then pulls you into his arms with a searing kiss.

He leads you to the bed and throws you on it, before jumping on top, connecting your lips again. His hand travels down to your core and he moves your panties to the side, putting pressure on your clit. He starts rubbing at an intensely fast pace, making you lose your breath. Very quickly he pulls your first orgasm from you.

Before you come back to earth you feel your new panties being ripped from you, as well as the bra. Bucky loved to rip your underwear all the time. He kissed his way down your stomach to your wet core and dove in. Your back arched off the bed.

“Oh my god, Bucky!” You moaned as your hand pulled his hair.

He then stuck two metal fingers into you and started pumping. You knew it wouldn’t be long now. You couldn’t stand the amazing sensation of his fingers and tongue. You started to feel the build up of pressure in your belly.

“Bucky! I’m going to cum,” you cry as you again orgasm on his face.

After a moment Bucky kisses his way back up your lips. You taste yourself on his tongue, which makes you wetter, if that’s possible. “You are the best thing I have ever tasted, Doll. Truly exquisite,” he says.

He then pulls off his pants and boxers before lining up with you. He slowly starts to push in, which feels amazing. After a moment he completely bottoms out in you. He kissed you, and just as he is about to thrust, you are both interrupted by FRIDAY.

“Sergeant Barnes, Ms. Jones is requesting to see you sir,” she says.

Bucky groans into your neck, “Tell her I’m busy and we’ll talk in the morning,” he says.

“I’m sorry sir, but she appears to be having a panic attack and having trouble breathing,” FRIDAY says.

“Shit,” Bucky says as he pulls out of you and grabs his sweats. He looks at you guiltily, “I’m sorry. I’ll be back in 10 minutes tops, and then we can finish what we started,” he says before running out the door.

You stare at the door as it closes in shock. He just left you in the middle of sex for his ex. What the hell! You lay there and wait, but after 2 hours you decide to get dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. You take your ruined lingerie and throw it out. You lay back on your bed thinking about how you will have a stern discussion when he comes back.

Before you know it, another 2 hours go by and it’s the middle of the night. You’re more than angry, now you are hurt. You grab your pillow and your blanket and leave your shared room with Bucky, and head to your old room. After locking the door, you inform FRIDAY not to let anyone, especially Bucky in. You climb into bed and allow a few tears before falling asleep.

- -

Bucky woke up the next morning disoriented. When he realized he was still in Dot’s room he panicked. After he finally got Dot to calm down last night he went to leave but Dot begged him to stay until she fell asleep. He must have dozed off too. He quickly got out of the bed and quietly exited the room.

Steve was coming down the hall and saw Bucky’s coming out of Dot’s room. “ why are you in Dot‘s room?” Steve asked.

“She had a panic attack last night and I came to calm her down and fell asleep. Y/N is going to be so pissed at me,” Bucky said.

“Wasn’t last night date night?” Steve asked.

Bucky nodded, “Yea and Dot interrupted right in the middle of sex. I left Y/N there naked on the bed like a jackass,” Bucky said angrily.

“You left her in the middle of sex to deal for your ex!? Why didn’t you ask me to deal with it?” Steve yelled.

“I don’t know. Dot says she only feel comfortable with me. I’m just trying to help her. But I’m going to lose my girl in the process. I’ll talk to Dot later about it, but things have to change. I can’t keep ignoring my girl,” Bucky said.

Steve nodded, “Yeah, we’ll good luck with talking to her after last night,” he said before slapping Bucky’s shoulder and leaving.

Bucky sighed and went to your shared room, only to see that you weren’t there. He checked the kitchen, common room, roof, gym, and lab but couldn’t find you. The last place he went was to your old bedroom. He found the door locked, which told him he found you.

“FRIDAY, can you please open the door?” He asked the AI.

“I’m sorry Sergeant Barnes. But I was requested by Agent Y/L/N to not let anyone, especially you in,” FRIDAY said.

Bucky’s heart dropped. He really messed up.

- -

Chapter 1 / Chapter 3

A lot happening in this chapter. Bucky being stupid, but at least he is aware. Now can he fix it? will the reader let him? And what else will Dot do? Feedback is appreciated!

Permanent Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940 @jessyballet

Story Taglist: @afuckingshituniverse @wintrfld

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #Bucky angst #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x dot

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one-sad-human · 3 years

Text

•Sweet Confessions• Izzy Stradlin

Pairing: Izzy Stradlin x Reader

Requested? Nope! But they are open so send them in!

Theme: Fluff

Warnings: Language, alcohol references, and sexual references

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: It’s Izzy birthday!! This fic isn’t birthday related, I finished it last week and decided to post it for his birthday. Enjoy!

The band dragged you out for a night at the bar. Just for a couple drinks to celebrate their successful debut album. But with Guns m Roses, it was never just a few drinks, it had already been two hours.

The band had been your friends since they all got together. You grew up in Indiana with Axl and Izzy, and when they left for LA you weren't too far behind. You had been there for everything. Every lineup change, every argument, and every borrowed— stolen— instrument.

You were their best friend, someone that was valuable to all of them. However, you and Izzy always had a special bond. You and him always clicked, one was never far from the other. Like partners in crime.

Like now, Izzy sat next to you in the booth. His lanky arm was resting around your shoulders, an action that wasn't at all rare. Axl is next to him, watching some blond that's barely dressed near the bar.

You and Izzy are the only somewhat sober ones here. Izzy just wasn't in the mood to get wasted, and you had work in the morning and didn't feel like having a huge hangover. However, that doesn't mean you can't have a few drinks.

"I'm going to go grab another drink," you say after tapping Izzy's arm to gain his attention. He nods and lifts his arm off of your shoulders.

Axl takes his eyes off of the busty blonde he had been gawking at to look at his friend. Axl notices how Izzy's eyes follow your every movement.

"You're being a creep," he tells him. Izzy spares a glance at him and shakes his head.

"I'm just makin' sure she's alright." Axl grabs his beer bottle, his rings clinking on the glass.

"You're watching her like a goddamn hawk." He takes a sip of his drink. "She's a tough girl, she'll be ok if someone hits on her."

"Well maybe I don't want anyone hitting on her," Izzy says. He finally takes his eyes from you to glare at his red headed friend. Axl takes a moment to stare at Izzy.

"You need to just tell her you're in fucking love with her. Seriously, it's getting hard to watch." Izzy rolls his eyes again and takes a sip of his drink. He hates how Axl can always see right through him.

"I'm not in love with her," Izzy says. Axl just stares at him, giving him a very unconvinced look. Izzy pretends to not see him, staring at the bottom of his glass.

"I don't believe you. You love her, and she's obviously in love with you, too, so just fucking tell her." Izzy continues to stare at the bottom of his glass, but he questions if you really could feel the same about him.

"What are you two talking about?" You ask as you take your spot next to Izzy, now nursing another drink.

"Nothing, Axl's just being a dick."

"What else is new?" You ask teasingly. Axl flips you the bird and you shrug in response.

"I was just telling Izzy that he should just man up and tell this chick that he likes her," Axl says, sending Izzy a discreet pointed look. You cover up the hurt you felt in your chest and put on a fake smile.

"You like a girl? Who?" You ask Izzy.

"It's nothing, Y/N. Drop it," Izzy says with irritation. You narrow your eyes at the sudden aggression, but don't push.

"Fine, damn." Axl shakes his head. How he got stuck with such an idiot friend he doesn't know. Steven groans and lifts his head from the table.

"Have a nice nap, popcorn?" Axl asks Steven with a smirk. Steven groans again and places his head back down on the wooden table.

Duff and Slash both walk out of the women's bathroom, a woman following closely behind. She looks disheveled, her hair is messy and her dress strap is hanging off her shoulder but she has a satisfied smirk on her face.

"I'm beat, I'm going home," Duff says while still trying to put his belt on properly. Slash grabs his leather jacket and follows Duff out of the bar, throwing a wave and smile over to you before he leaves.

"So that's where they've been," you say. The images of Slash and Duff going at the same girl was enough to make you shiver in disgust.

"Lucky bastards," Axl says with jealousy. "I'm done sitting around, catch you later." Axl pushes through you and Izzy and makes his way to the girl he's been eyeing all night.

"I'm tired, too," you say and finish off your drink. "You want to walk me home?"

Izzy nods and you both stand. Izzy follows you out the door without a word. After a few minutes of walking in silence, you finally look over at him.

"Are you ok?" Izzy glances at you for a split second.

"I'm fine." You aren't convinced. You knew Izzy for practically all his life, you know when something is on his mind.

"You know you can't lie to me, what's wrong?" Izzy sighs and shakes his head.

"Nothing, I promise. I'm just thinking," he says without sparing a glance at you.

"About what? That girl you like?" It hurt to just spit out the words.

Izzy wants to just tell you 'yes,' he is thinking about the girl but that it's you, and how he doesn't like her he loves her. But he has no clue how you'd react, so he just stays quiet.

"Well, whatever you want to say I'm here to listen," you say and send him a smile. Izzy grabs your hand and gives it a small squeeze.

"I know you are. I'm fine though, really." You sigh and nod your head. He doesn't let go of your hand until you reach the door to your house.

"You want to stay over tonight? It's pretty late and your house is kind of far," you ask. Izzy nods and you both walk into your small home.

Izzy makes himself comfortable in your living room while you make yourself a cup of tea. He takes a moment to look at the pictures of you and him on the walls.

Some were old, the picture frames barely concealing the rips and tears in the corners. Those were from back in Indiana, riding dirt bikes and getting high near the train tracks. But some were new, with the whole band out drinking or photos you took while they were on stage.

"Day dreaming?" You ask as you sit next to him on your old, worn out couch, now with a cup of tea.

"I was looking at all the pictures." Izzy points to one of the newer ones, It was of you and him after one of his first shows with Guns. You were hanging onto him and giving him a huge grin, one he matched. "I don't remember that one."

"Axl took that one, he gave it to me because he said he's never seen you so happy." You say, smiling at the memory. "It's my favorite of you."

Axl's earlier words replay in Izzy's head. Friends don't look at each other like that, do they? You most certainly don't look at Axl or Duff like that, he would know.

"Speaking of Axl," Izzy starts, clearing his throat awkwardly. "He mentioned something to me earlier..." Izzy stops short, nervous to mention it.

"Well, what did he say?" You ask, nodding so he continues.

"He said you're in love with me, is it true?" Izzy asks, but it sounds much more interrogatory than he meant.

You stay silent for a while, your mouth parting before snapping shut again. You look like a gaping fish of some sort.

"He blabbed?" Is all you could muster out. "I'm sorry, I know you probably don't feel the same and that's fine, that's why I never said anything and—"

"Hey, hey, relax, I'm asking because I do feel the same." Your jaw snaps shut, your face feels hot and your hands are sweaty.

"Seriously? I’m the girl you like?” You mumble.

"Yes, you are," Izzy replies, feeling relief that Axl was right flood through his veins. You and Izzy both sit and silence for a moment longer.

"So are you going to kiss me or what?" You say teasingly, although it's accompanied by a nervous waver in your voice. Izzy doesn't acknowledge it, instead leaning in to smash his lips to yours.

The kiss is full of passion and built up emotions. You can't help but think about how long you've dreamed of this moment.

Izzy pulls away moments later, his brown staring deeply into yours. His eyes silently asking if this was ok. You answer with a small smile and lean in to peck his cheek softly. Izzy smiles back, bringing up his hand to gently caress your face.

"I love you," you say quietly.

"I love you, too." You pull him in for another kiss, and Izzy begins to think about how he loves the thought of waking up next to you and how every other sappy domestic thing he used to roll he eyes at seem much nicer.

More time passes and you and Izzy have both laid down on the couch, cuddling into earth other lovingly. Your cup of tea is abandoned as you fall asleep to the feeling of Izzy's chest rising and falling under your head and his soft caresses.

#happy birthday izzy!#also! send in requests!#guns n’ roses #guns n’ roses x reader #guns n’ roses imagine #classic rock imagine #izzy stradlin x reader #izzy stradlin fic #Izzy Stradlin #Izzy Stradlin fluff

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forever-rogue · 3 years

Note

Ah, requests <3 Yay! First of all, congrats on the milestone Patricia. I would like a story with our favorite sweet boy FRANKIE Morales and the following prompt: From List 1: 95 AND 109 , if you feel up for it ;)

95. “I don’t know why I’m crying.” & 109. “I just want to be alone right now.”

Hmmm, I see! You would like some pain!

Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader ; warnings: mentions of depression, drug use

Frankie Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

You sighed lightly as you noticed the empty, distracted look in Frankie’s eyes. He’d barely spoken a word since you’d both sat down for dinner. Isabella was cooing and babbling away happily as you fed her, oblivious to any tension between the two of you. You ruffled her dark curls before wiping the corners of her mouth. You loved her just as much as you loved her father, but lately he had seemed...different - closed off and distant. It had come on suddenly, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d done something. But hells, you wouldn’t know because he wouldn’t talk about a goddamn thing.

“Frankie - baby?” you nudged his foot under the table with yours and he snapped back into reality, turning to you with a weak smile, “is everything okay, love?”

“Yes,” he promised, but it was a weak lie you could both see through, “just...tired is all. Long week at work.”

“Yeah?” you asked as he nodded slowly; Isabella turned to him and grinned at him, and for a moment you could see a real smile flicker across his features, “I love you, Francisco. We both do. You know that…”

“I know,” he promised, and despite his lukewarm attitude, you knew he was being honest, “I love you too.”

It was short and seemingly hollow, but you knew he would never speak those words unless he actually meant them. You relaxed a little, but your guard was still up. You would find out whatever was plaguing him.

»»————-　♡　————-««

And so it carried on for a few weeks - he was half there and half gone. You could only take so much before you finally snapped and needed answers; but those answers you weren’t seemingly going to get from Francisco himself.

“Bee?” the man on the other line sounded as though he was in the middle of working but stopped immediately when he heard you on the other end, "what's wrong, honey?"

“Hi Santi,” you whispered into the phone as you tried to keep from crying, finding it difficult as your voice cracked, “can you come over? I need you.”

"I'll be over in twenty."

"Thank you," you whispered as you hung up the phone. Isabella looked up at you from the floor, waving one of her small stuffies around as you smiled at her. You walked over to her and bent down before scooping her up in your arms and clutching her tightly to your chest, "look at you my pretty girl! I love you so much, mi amor. More than you can even know!"

The little girl looked at you with a serious expression before breaking into a fit of giggles and throwing her arms around your neck. At least you had this little light to keep you sane right now.

»»————-　♡　————-««

It wasn't long before Santi arrived, knocking gently at the door. You opened, still bouncing the baby on your hip as he beamed at the both of you. She reached for him immediately and Santi didn't hesitate to take her from your arms.

"See, baby, I promised your Tio would come," you smiled as you let him in and closed the door, looking around to make sure Frankie hadn't somehow come home.

"What's going on?" he asked when you rejoined him in the living, taking a spot on the couch and curling your legs up under you. Isabella was already falling asleep on his lap, a peaceful little look on her face. It was amazing just how much like Frankie was - from her dark curls and eyes, to the pouty lips, and the expression she wore as she slept. There was no doubt that she was his daughter.

Opening and closing your mouth a few times, you tried to find the words to describe what was going on. And suddenly you found yourself unable. It all seemed so pointless, so bleak, and tears were already welling up in your eyes. Reaching up to wipe them away, you couldn't help yourself but let them flow freely as your lips trembled, "s-s-sorry Santi. I don't why I'm crying...already."

"Its okay," he reached over and gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze as you nodded, "take your time...is it Fish?"

"Mhmm," you managed to choke out in between small sniffles, "he's been so distant lately and I don't...he won't tell me what's going on no matter how much I ask. I don't want to push him away but he's just shutting me out. I love him so much, Santi, I just want him to be okay."

"Shhh," he reached over and helped to wipe away some of your tears, "its okay, Bee. Please don't think it's you - you know he loves and you and Izzy more than anything else. That much you never have to question."

"I know," you nodded slightly, "I just want him to know that I love him as much as he does us. I just want him to be okay, but I don't know how to help him when he's like this."

"You don't think he's…"

"No," you stated firmly, knowing that despite his struggles he was still clean and wouldn't go back to using drugs to get by or cope with his problems, "he's good. I know...he would never. I just don't know what's going on in his head, but I feel the more I ask the more he closes up."

"Maybe he's just-"

"Hey," Frankie's voice cut into your conversation as you both turned to look at him. All the blood rushed out of your face as you tried to read the expression on his face, "what's going on?"

"Fish, my brother, what's been going on with you?" Santi turned towards him, making sure not to disturb the baby that was snoozing on his chest, "Bee says-"

"Nothing's going on Santi," he said sharply before leaving down the hall and to your bedroom and lightly slamming the door shut. You gave Santi a despondent look before he nodded, motioned in the direction of the door.

"Go and talk to him," he suggested the obvious as you swallowed the lump in your throat before standing up, "I'll take care of her. You know what you need to do."

You slowly passed him and padded down the hall, your heart thumping like mad in your chest as you made your way to the bedroom. Hoping this would go well, praying it would go well because all you wanted was nothing but the best for Frankie, you raised your hand to the door and slowly knocked on it. After a few moments, you heard an audible sigh from the other side of the door.

"I just want to be alone right now," he called out - it wasn't biting or venomous, but it was still enough to make your heart drop.

"Francisco," you said softly, "please don't shut me out. Please just talk to me, love."

It was a few tense moments of silence before you heard the tell tale creak of the floor as he got up and crossed the room, hesitating for a moment before opening the door. When he opened the door and revealed himself, you slowly met his soft brown eyes and offered him a weak smile. You could see that his eyes were glossy too and immediately, without even hesitating, you reached up and touched his cheeks, tracing over his cheek.

Frankie keened into your touch with a heavy sigh as decided to just pull him into a hug. You didn't care if the moment didn't care for it or whatever. You just want to hold him.

And he melted into your touch like it was nothing; his body perfecting melding into yours as you held him and rubbed his back, whispering sweet reassures to him.

"Its okay, Frankie," you kissed the side of his head as he buried his face into your shoulder, wetting the fabric of your shirt with a few tears, "I've got you. I've always got you, my love. I love you so damn much."

"I'm sorry," you heard him mumble softly as you scooted him closer to the bed and pushed him gently to sit down. He rubbed at his eyes for a moment before exhaling deeply, "I'm so sorry."

"What on earth are you sorry for, Frankie?" you raked a hand through his curls lightly scratching at his scalp, "you've done nothing, honey. Nothing's happened."

"I have failed as a father and a husband," he stared at the floor as you made a small sound of surprise, "I don't know why you haven't taken the baby and left me too."

"Francisco Morales," you got on your knees in front of him and immediately grabbed his face to look at yours, delicately but firmly, "what on earth are you talking about? Where is this coming from?"

"My wife left me and abandoned our daughter, my daughter probably hates me, and then there's you. I have nothing to offer you, my Honey Bee, but I've tricked you into thinking I'm this good man," you could tell that he'd been thinking about this a lot, his face twisted with worry, "I'm just waiting for the day you discover that I’m nothing and leave."

"Francisco, you are nothing of the sort. I love you so much, and so does Izzy. That girl adores you and so do I," you promised him, hoping that he believed you, "your ex wife leaving has nothing to do with you. That's on her, Frankie. Besides - what kind of person just abandons their baby and husband? That says more about her than you."

"I...still. Look at me," he sighed lightly, "what can I give you? I'm a vet with more problems than I know what to do with. You deserve the world and I feel like I'm dragging you down. You could do so much better."

"And what about you, Francisco?" leaning up, you kissed him gently, "all I see is a good man that is trying his best and gives us all so much love. I am never happier than when I'm with you or Izzy. You make me feel so loved, so happy - Frankie, you make everything so much better. The two of you are my everything.”

“I am-”

“Amazing? Kind? Wonderful? Funny? Handsome?” you quickly cut off his train of thought before he could get too derailed and self-deprecating, “I know it can be hard for you to see that, but please know it’s true. Please know that you are everything. I will do whatever it takes for you to realize that.”

“Even if…” he stopped and looked at you with the sweetest eyes you had ever seen and you just nodded, “I feel so...useless sometimes. I see you and you’re so amazing, a wonderful mother, and...I feel like I could do so much more for you. Like you’d be happier and better off without me.”

“I would be so much worse without you,” you promised him, meaning every single word, “I love you, and means every part and parcel of you. All the good and bad, all the light and dark. But that will never change how I feel about you. I will always love you, today, tomorrow, and forever. So will Izzy. We’re a family, Frankie. And that means we work together through everything.”

“I love you,” he whispered softly as you wiped away the tears that had rolled down his cheeks, “more than you will ever know. I just worry if it...if it gets really bad…��

“I’m not going anywhere, Francisco,” you insisted as he helped to maneuver you into his lap, “and I swear that’s not going to change. If you need help, outside help, or just someone else, we’ll get you all the help you need, baby. We’ll figure this out - together.”

“I love you, Honey Bee,” he pressed his forehead against yours, “you are and Izzy are the best things to happen to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“And that’s just how we feel about you,” you pressed a kiss to his nose, “you never have to shy away from anything with me. You know that.”

“I do,” he agreed, “I’ve always known...I just got tripped up along the way. I’m sorry for shutting you out.”

“It’s okay,” you kissed lips tenderly, “it’s okay. Sometimes we trip up along the way, and that’s fine. I just want you to know you will always have us by your side, through the good and the bad.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” you felt him smile, actually smile, against your lips, “I am the luckiest man.”

“Funny how I feel the same about you, silly man,” you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close, “should we get Izzy? I’m sure Santi didn’t come just to babysit.”

“Did you call him because of me? To ask?”

“I figured if anyone knows you as well as I do, it’s him,” you admitted shly, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay...maybe if you wouldn’t talk to me, you’d talk to him.”

“All that for me?”

“I would do anything for you.”

“I love you, Bee,” he laid back down on the bed and pulled you on top of him, “so much. Now let’s say we just...stay in here for a few?”

“Frankie!” your eyes widened at his suggestion before you giggled, “Santi did not come here for that!”

“He’s bonding with his niece,” Frankie grinned, “it’ll be fine, he can hang around for a while.”

“You’re explaining this to him!”

“Fair enough,” he agreed with a wicked little grin, “now please, let me hold and love you. Because I do. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Francisco. You and Izzy are my everything.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x fem!reader #frankie morales x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #triple frontier #forever-rogue's follower celebration

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ijustwant2write · 3 years

Text

A Little Secret-Alfie Solomons x Reader (Part 3/?)

(GIF credit to @fockingshelby)

Masterlist

Part 1 / Part 2

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Summary: After Alfie’s outburst, he has been avoiding Izzy, not wanting to face up to his disappointment. However, Izzy thinks the exact opposite, but of course, she doesn’t do anything to amend the situation. She too keeps out of his way, thinking she’ll only make him more angry, until they both receive a letter.

Characters: Alfie Solomons x OC!Reader, Ollie x OC!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, mention of death, arguing, shouting, crying, trauma, low self esteem issues

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Izzy heard something be pushed through the letterbox as she buttered her toast, wiping her buttery hand on a tea towel before going to retrieve it. She hardly got post, all of the time it would be bills, but today was different. It was in a crisp, white envelope with fancy handwriting, it even had a seal on the back. She inspected the wax, trying to figure out who it was from. Izzy had no friends, no family, which meant that this made her heart race in fear rather than anticipation. It opened without ripping and she took out the neatly folded letter. Her eyebrows scrunched together as she read it.

Dear Isabelle,

You are cordially invited to the opening of ‘The Blue Note’.

We have recently taken ownership before refurbishing, giving the club a completely new look and fresh feel. The evening will commence at 7.00PM where music and beverages will be provided.

Please RSVP to the return address labelled on the envelope. We await for your reply with anticipation.

Kind regards,

Thomas Shelby

Shelby Company Limited

Izzy had no clue who Thomas Shelby was, or why he had invited her to a club opening. If her name hadn’t been addressed at the top, she would think it was just a businessman’s idea to bring in customers. This couldn’t be a coincidence, not after everything that was happening that week. She read it again as she finished her toast, noticing that it was almost time for her to go once she finished eating.

The morning at work went by as usual, time moving swiftly as Izzy completed her tasks alongside everybody else. It had been three days since the incident of her being locked up, and Alfie had avoided her like the plague. Although Izzy had wanted to speak with him, explain that she wasn’t upset with his actions, she knew she would never have the confidence to do so. Like always, she let life pass her by and decide her fate, rather than take control of it herself.

“Izzy,” Ollie got her attention, shoving a pile of letters into her hands,“need you to take these to Alfie, now.”

“I can’t!” Izzy protested, hating that Ollie was already walking away.“He doesn’t want to speak to me.”

“Then don’t speak, just drop off the letters.”

Ollie disappeared around the corner, causing Izzy to tense up, clutching onto the letters. Taking a deep breath, she turned around to look at Alfie’s office door, seeming more daunting than usual. Wanting to get it over with, she picked up the pace, finding herself in front of the door quicker than she expected. Knocking swiftly, Izzy could feel her heart rate increase as she was called in.

Of course Alfie knew it was her by the sound of the knock. He still wanted to keep away from Izzy, not wanting to risk upsetting her more than he already had. When she had cried out his name and ran after him after he punched that fucker, he had hated how that chipped away at him. She was his weakness, and no one else could see that. Noticing how she kept her head down, quickly placing the letters on his desk before turning around.

“Izzy.” he grumbled.

She froze, glancing over her shoulder.

“I don’t have enough fucking time to sort through this. Do you mind reading them for me?”

She fully turned around, nodding before taking a seat. The first two letters weren’t of any importance to Alfie, he dismissed them after the starting sentence. But the next letter Izzy picked up was familiar to her, and Alfie noticed this.

“You like the look of that one?” he asked in a monotone voice.

“It’s just...” she mumbled.“I’m sure this is the same as the one I received this morning.”

That perked Alfie up.“What?”

She began opening it, recognising the wax seal.“Yeah, it is. It’s an invitation.”

Alfie held out his hand to take it, holding his glasses with his other hand as he read it. He looked confused at first, until he saw the signed name at the bottom, fury filling his body at the thought of Thomas Shelby knowing everything about Izzy.

“You’re not going.” he stated, carelessly throwing the paper on the desk.

“You know I’m not a big fan of clubs anyway.”

“You don’t reply to him, you don’t open anymore letters from him, and you go no where near that club!”

“Mr Solomons, I wasn’t going to-”

“He shouldn’t know about you.”

“Who? Who is Thomas Shelby?”

“He’s the business associate that visited, when that man got shot.”

“How does he know where I live?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you...do you think he wants to hurt me?”

Alfie said nothing, abruptly standing from his chair and storming to his office door. Leaning out of it, he yelled out Ollie’s name, harshly slamming the door again which caused Izzy to flinch. She shouldn’t have mentioned the letter, she was in trouble now, it wasn’t like she was going to go to the club anyway.

Ollie knocked before entering, sensing the tension in the room as he glanced between his boss and friend. Alfie shoved the letter into Ollie’s hands, his eyes widening as he read it. What was Thomas Shelby’s plan here? He knew Alfie’s temper was short, and he knew that Izzy meant a lot more to than man than he wanted to let on. This wasn’t good, Izzy shouldn’t even be near this place, she never should have been in the first place. Alfie whispered in Ollie’s ear, it was so quiet to ensure that Izzy wouldn’t catch one word of it.

“Mr Solomons?” Izzy piped up as Ollie left. She tried to make eye contact, but he left swiftly.

“You’re going home now, collecting as many of your things as possible, and letting the lads take you somewhere to stay.” he demanded.

“I’m sorry?”

“Ollie and a few lads are going to drive you home. If you need extra cases, I can get ya’ some-”

“Why am I packing my belongings?”

“Cause you’re staying in an old place of mine, somewhere where no one will find you.”

“W-why? Mr Solomons, what’s going on?”

“I’ll explain once you’re safe.”

“Please Mr Solomons,” Izzy stood, catching his attention and stopping him from pacing,“I need to understand what’s happening. You can’t just cart me about and kick me out of my home!”

She was scared, it was evident all over her face. Alfie didn’t want to tell her. He wanted to hide her away from it all until it was all over, keep her safe until he had shot all those bastards dead.

Ollie popped his head through the door.“Cars ready Alfie.”

“Please Alfie.” Izzy hardly used his first name.

“Go.”

Izzy’s mind was screaming at her to defend herself, keep begging for an answer. Something dangerous was going on here, and she was near, if not in, the centre of it all. Why couldn’t she just be like any other normal person? They would at least have the decency to raise their voice. But she was weak. She always had been, it would never change. Quickly turning away from Alfie, she hunched up as she brushed past Ollie. There wasn’t anything she could do to go against him.

Staying silent in the car, Izzy had her hands clasped together, squished between two burly men Alfie had entrusted her safety in. Ollie was driving with another man in the passenger seat. No one was in the mood for conversation, not that Izzy would ever be able to hold one with any of them; Ollie was the only one she had ever spoken to for more than two minutes.

“Be quick as you can Izzy, we need to get you to the safe house.” Ollie advised as they entered her home, two men staying beside the car as the other two checked around the back of her house.“You need me to grab anything for you down here?”

“Um...” it was incredibly hard to think of all your possessions off the top of your head.“No, thank you, Ollie. I...I think everything I need is upstairs.”

Izzy had emptied all of her drawers and wardrobe into the cases she had, though she didn’t own that many clothes anyway. There weren’t any valuable items laying about, though there was one thing she had to save. Kneeling on the floor, Izzy reached underneath her bed, feeling around for the chipped floorboard. Once found, she silently lifted it, reaching inside for the last letters her mother wrote her, as well as the necklace she’d had since she moved there...it had been gifted by a certain someone.

“Where are we going Ollie? Where’s this safe house? I don’t mind walking to work, I just want to know how far away it is.” Izzy asked as she struggled to carry her cases downstairs.

He quickly took them off her, though hid how heavy they were.“Um, Alfie will explain once we’re there.”

“Mr Solomons will be there?”

“Please Izzy, just do what he’s told you so neither of us get in trouble.”

He didn’t mean to snap, but Izzy knew by now not to question everything. Sometimes her staying silent was the best option. Ollie handed over her cases to the men to load into the car, waiting for her to lock up. She took out her keys, looking up at the tiny, terraced house she had lived in for so many years. It seemed dramatic, but being away from the only place she felt comfort, the only place she could control the look of, it made her uneasy, especially because she didn’t know how long she would be away from it.

The car ride indicated that this safe house was certainly further away than Izzy would have liked. Ollie was secretly glad that the other men were here, it stopped her from asking questions. He didn’t actually know the full story, he didn’t know why Alfie was taking such big precautions; and he was being made to drive through the slums into the countryside, the city slowly being left behind. Firstly the houses started to get bigger and further away from each other, they went from blocks of flats, terraced, before becoming semi-detached. The streets started to look cleaner, as did the people walking them. Instead of homeless men and prostitutes lining the streets, women out for afternoon strolls with their babies in prams chatted away to each other, and old couples enjoyed their retirement together. Izzy held back a smile as she peeked out of the window, having only imagined places like this when she read her books.

Unfortunately, the awkwardness remained in the car for another twenty minutes, all of them secretly relieved when they pulled up at another house. It wasn’t a place that homed people full of riches, though they certainly weren’t poor. Driving down a back alley, they parked outside a small, semi-detached house. The other house beside it had a boarded up door and windows, with overgrown ivy all over it.

“This belongs to Mr Solomons?” Izzy asked as they all exited the car.

“Apparently so. I was as shocked as you are.” Ollie said before instructing the others to take her cases inside.

As they stepped inside, they saw that it was minimally decorated, though that didn’t surprise them. There were a few cobwebs about the place, as well a dust that had settled on top of surfaces. But with a quick clean up, it could look homely. It hadn’t been lived in for a while, the floorboards creaked from the new weight (that was something Izzy was both thankful and upset about, she could hear if anyone was in the house, but then again, that would mean someone was in the house).

“Izzy?” Ollie called to her as she explored the kitchen. Her head showed up in the doorway.“They’ve put your things upstairs.”

“Thank you.” she meekly said, going back into the kitchen until she saw Ollie leaving.“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, the men will stay though, to guard you.”

She scurried down the hallway to him, standing in the doorway as he continued walking.“What am I meant to do?”

“Settle in. Alfie will be here soon, maybe you could clean up the house?” he was joking, but that didn’t resonate with Izzy.

“Do you know what’s going on? With any of this?”

He sighed, approaching her so the others wouldn’t hear.“I’m sorry Izzy, I don’t know anything. If I did, I promise I would tell you. Alfie has instructed me to bring you here, and said he’ll be coming to see you today.”

“Oh...right.”

“Izzy, you’ll be absolutely safe here, we’re prepared for anything...I didn’t mean...not that anything will happen. I’m going to go before I say anything else.”

After Ollie left, she locked the door with the keys left for her, wishing there were more locks. She was in a small state of shock. Her life was being controlled, all because of something that she had no idea about. The only thing she could do now was as Ollie said, settle in. She was disturbed by the dust everywhere, heading into the kitchen to find a duster and other cleaning supplies. Her own belongings could wait. Covering her mouth with a handkerchief, Izzy still coughed and sneezed, her eyes watering. The house was modest for what rooms it held. It had a front room, a kitchen, a bathroom, two bedrooms and a small garden. It was more than what Izzy had ever had, and it was properly furnished. But you knew no one had been living here.

“Izzy?” Alfie’s voice made her jump. She had just finished dusting in the bedroom her cases were.“Izzy, where are you?”

Removing the handkerchief from her mouth, she brushed off the dust that had fallen onto her dress as she made her way down the stairs. Alfie was stood at the bottom, watching her. In that moment, he couldn’t help but think...no, he shouldn’t be thinking things like that, they would never come true.

“What you think then?” Alfie sniffed.

“It’s a lovely house, Mr Solomons.”

“Won it in a bet didn’t I? Didn’t know it would come in handy one day. Tea?”

She followed him into the kitchen, starting to boil the water as he sat down at the table big enough for four people. He glanced around the place, trying to distract himself from how Izzy looked like the perfect housewife in that moment. No one spoke as the tea brewed. Izzy wanted to ask questions, but she knew she had to be grateful for whatever Mr Solomons was protecting her from. And Alfie didn’t want to say anything stupid, he thought she was still angry with him. Once the tea was ready, Izzy focused on keeping a steady hand as poured it into two cups. The tension was building more and more by the second, she didn’t want to make matters worse by pouring boiling water onto your boss’ crotch.

“You’re probably confused.” Alfie said, taking a sip of the drink.

Izzy sat beside him, leaving her cup.“Yes, I am.”

“I’m just being over cautious Iz, can’t risk anything.”

“About what?”

He rubbed his eyes with one hand, sighing loudly.“That letter you received, it’s from Thomas Shelby.Do you know who he is?”

Izzy shook her head.

“I hoped you wouldn’t. But I’ve got to tell you in order for all of this to make sense. He’s the leader of this gang, right, this gang from Birmingham. They call themselves the Peaky Blinders, due to the razors they sew into their caps. It’s, it’s barbaric if you ask me.”

“And, this gang, they want to hurt me?”

“Nah, nah, not that I know of. But he’s becoming a powerful man. He’s proven that by finding out who you are and where you live.”

“You don’t think they had anything to do with the man who harassed me in the street?”

“Nah, but he’s up to something.”

“So...so what do we do now?”

“You’re going to stay here, until that’s figured out.”

“But how am I supposed to get to work? I mean, it’s no problem for me to walk, I just know it’s further away-”

“You’re not going to walk to work, because you’re not going to work Izzy.”

“But, how am I supposed to earn money? What am I going to do here?”

“I’ll still pay you. Think of it as holiday pay. A holiday where you can’t leave the house.”

“What?”

“No one knows you round here Izzy, but you can’t let anyone see you here. That’s why it’s good that the house is tucked away with no neighbours.”

“But I could be stuck here for ages.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, you, you like being alone.”

Izzy raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, you keep to yourself, you don’t have any friends, what’s wrong with staying in here?”

“Because I’m trapped!”

Alfie hadn’t expected her to protest.“You’re not fucking trapped! You’re safe!”

“Safe from what? You won’t tell me!”

“What’s got into you? You’re never like this.”

“Because...because maybe I’m scared! You’re not telling me anything Mr Solomons-”

Alfie stood from his chair, coming off more demeaning as he towered over her.“Why do you always call me that? We’ve known each other since we were children! You never say my name!”

Izzy shrunk into her seat, hands gripping the side of the chair in fear.“I-I...You’re my boss, I-”

“That makes no difference! Oh for fucks sake, Izzy, we’re practically the same age!”

Izzy ducked her head, too scared to look at him.“I’m sorry, Mr Sol-Al-Alfie!”

Alfie realised how he looked to her, but his stubbornness got in the way. Instead of apologising like she should have, and wanted to, he kept going, somehow thinking that scaring her more would make her want to stay.

“Just do as you’re told. It’s not like anyone is going to notice you’re gone. I’m doing this for you, some fucking gratitude would be nice.”

But as soon as he saw the tears in her eyes, he hated himself. How was he supposed to know how to talk to women? Let alone comfort them! Izzy meant a dear amount to him, which is why he hated himself right now. He knew this woman for most of his life, why couldn’t he read her? Not knowing what else to say, Alfie left the shocked woman behind, heading out and past the men he put in place. They pretended they hadn’t heard any of their shouting.

Izzy didn’t move for another few minutes, scared that something else might happen. Alfie slamming the door didn’t help, causing her to flinch, a small yelp escaping her mouth. Once she was certain he was gone, the tears fell freely and silently, not wanting to make any noise, with only one thought circling her mind.

Why am I so weak?

138 notes · View notes

theshadowmalec · 3 years

Text

City of Ashes

Kissed

source: Cassandra Clare's website

The story of Malec's first kiss, and how Alec asked Magnus out on a date.

It was printed on thin paper, nearly parchment, in a thin, elegant, spidery hand. It announced a gathering at the humble home of Magnus the Magnificent Warlock, and promised attendees "a rapturous evening of delights beyond your wildest imaginings."

— City of Bones

Standing in the stairwell of Magnus’ home, Alec stared at the name written under the buzzer on the wall. BANE. The name didn’t really seem to suit Magnus, he thought, not now that he knew him. If you could really be said to know someone when you’d attended one of their parties, once, and then they’d saved your life later but hadn’t really hung around to be thanked. But the name Magnus Bane made him think of a towering sort of figure, with huge shoulders and formal purple warlock’s robes, calling down fire and lightning. Not Magnus himself, who was more of a cross between a panther and a demented elf.

Alec took a deep breath and let it out. Well, he’d come this far; he might as well go on. The bare lightbulb hanging overhead cast sweeping shadows as he reached forward and pressed the buzzer.

A moment later a voice echoed through the stairwell. “WHO CALLS UPON THE HIGH WARLOCK?”

“Er,” Alec said. “It’s me. I mean, Alec. Alec Lightwood.”

There was a sort of silence, as if even the hallway itself were surprised. Then a ping, and the second door opened, letting him out onto the stairwell. He headed up the rickety stairs into the darkness, which smelled like pizza and dust. The second floor landing was bright, the door at the far end open. Magnus Bane was leaning in the entryway.

Compared to the first time Alec has seen him, he looked fairly normal. His black hair still stood up in spikes, and he looked sleepy; his face, even with its cat’s eyes, very young. He wore a black t-shirt with the words ONE MILLION DOLLARS picked out across the chest in sequins, and jeans that hung low on his hips, low enough that Alec looked away, down at his own shoes. Which were boring.

“Alexander Lightwood,” said Magnus. He had just the faintest trace of an accent, something Alec couldn’t put his finger on, a lilt to his vowels. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Alec looked past Magnus. “Do you have — company?”

Magnus crossed his arms, which did good things for his biceps, and leaned against the side of the door. “Why do you want to know?”

“I was hoping I could come in and talk to you.”

“Hmmm.” Magnus’ eyes raked him up and down. They really did shine in the dark, like a cat’s. “Well, all right then.” He turned abruptly away and disappeared into the apartment; after a startled moment, Alec followed.

The loft looked different without a hundred churning bodies in it. It was — well, not ordinary, but the sort of space someone might live in. Like most lofts, it had a big central room split into “rooms” by groupings of furniture. There was a square collection of sofas and tables off to the right, which Magnus gestured Alec toward. Alec sat down on a gold velvet sofa with elegant wooden curlicues on the arms.

“Would you like some tea?” Magnus asked. He wasn’t sitting in a chair, but had sprawled himself on a tufted ottoman, his long legs stretched out in front of him.

Alec nodded. He felt incapable of saying anything. Anything interesting or intelligent, that was. It was always Jace who said the interesting, intelligent things. He was Jace’s parabatai and that was all the glory he needed or wanted: like being the dark star to someone else’s supernova. But this was somewhere Jace couldn’t go with him, something Jace couldn’t help him with. “Sure.”

His right hand felt suddenly hot. He looked down, and realized he was holding a waxed paper cup from Joe, the Art of Coffee. It smelled like chai. He jumped, and only barely escaped spilling on himself. “By the Angel —”

“I LOVE that expression,” said Magnus. “It’s so quaint.”

Alec stared at him. “Did you steal this tea?”

Magnus ignored the question. “So,” he said. “Why are you here?”

Alec took a gulp of the stolen tea. “I wanted to thank you,” he said, when he came up for air. “For saving my life.”

Magnus leaned back on his hands. His t-shirt rode up over his flat stomach, and this time Alec had nowhere else to look. “You wanted to thank me.”

“You saved my life,” Alec said, again. “But I was delirious, and I don’t think I really thanked you. I know you didn’t have to do it. So thank you.”

Magnus’ eyebrows had disappeared up into his hairline. “You’re . . .welcome?”

Alec set his tea down. “Maybe I should go.”

Magnus sat up. “After you came so far? All the way to Brooklyn? Just to thank me?” He was grinning. “Now that would be a wasted effort.” He reached out and put his hand to Alec’s cheek, his thumb brushing along the cheekbone. His touch felt like fire, training tendrils of sparks in its wake. Alec sat frozen in surprise — surprise at the gesture, and surprise at the effect it was having on him. Magnus’ eyes narrowed, and he dropped his hand. “Huh,” he said to himself.

“What?” Alec was suddenly very worried that he’d done something wrong. “What is it?”

“You’re just . . .” A shadow moved behind Magnus; with fluid agility, the warlock twisted around and picked up a small gray and white tabby cat from the floor. The cat curled into the crook of his arm and looked at Alec with suspicion. Now two pairs of gold-green eyes were trained on him darkly. “Not what I expected.”

“From a Shadowhunter?”

“From a Lightwood.”

“I didn’t realize you knew my family that well.”

“I’ve known your family for hundreds of years.” Magnus’ eyes searched his face. “Now your sister, she’s a Lightwood. You—’

“She said you liked me.”

“What?”

“Izzy. My sister. She told me you liked me. Liked me, liked me.”

“Liked you, liked you?” Magnus buried his grin in the cat’s fur. “Sorry. Are we twelve now? I don’t recall saying anything to Isabelle . . .”

“Jace said it too.” Alec was blunt; it was the only way he knew how to be. “That you liked me. That when he buzzed up here, you thought he was me and you were disappointed that it was him. That never happens.”

“Doesn’t it? Well, it should.”

Alec was startled. “No — I mean Jace, he’s . . . Jace.”

“He’s trouble,” said Magnus. “But you are totally without guile. Which in a Lightwood, is a conundrum. You’ve always been a plotting sort of family, like low-rent Borgias. But there isn’t a lie in your face. I get the feeling everything you say is straightforward.”

Alec leaned forward. “Do you want to go out with me?”

Magnus blinked. “See, that’s what I mean. Straightforward.”

Alec chewed his lip and said nothing.

“Why do you want to go out with me?” Magnus inquired. He was rubbing Chairman Meow’s head, his long fingers folding the cat’s ears down. “Not that I’m not highly desirable, but the way you asked, it seemed as if you were having some sort of fit —”

“I just do,” Alec said. “And I thought you liked me, so you’d say yes, and I could try — I mean, we could try —” He put his face in his hands. “Maybe this was a mistake.”

Magnus’ voice was gentle. “Does anyone know you’re gay?”

Alec’s head jerked up; he found he was breathing a little hard, as if he’d run a race. But what could he do, deny it? When he’d come here to do exactly the opposite? “Clary,” he said, hoarsely. “Which is . . . Which was an accident. And Izzy, but she’d never say anything.”

“Not your parents. Not Jace?”

Alec thought about Jace knowing, and pushed the thought away, hard and fast. “No. No, and I don’t want them to know, especially Jace.”

“I think you could tell him.” Magnus rubbed Chairman Meow under the chin. “He went to pieces like a jigsaw puzzle when he thought you were going to die. He cares —”

“I’d rather not.” Alec was still breathing quickly. He rubbed at the knees of his jeans with his fists. “I’ve never had a date,” he said in a low voice. “Never kissed anyone. Not ever. Izzy said you liked me and I thought —”

“I’m not unsympathetic. But do you like me? Because this being gay business doesn’t mean you can just throw yourself at any guy and it’ll be fine because he’s not a girl. There are still people you like and people you don’t.”

Alec thought of his bedroom back at the Institute, of being in a delirium of pain and poison when Magnus had come in. He had barely recognized him. He was fairly sure he’d been screaming for his parents, for Jace, for Izzy, but his voice would only come out on a whisper. He remembered Magnus’ hands on him, his fingers cool and gentle. He remembered the death-grip he’d kept on Magnus’ wrist, for hours and hours, even after the pain had passed and he knew he would be all right. He remembered watching Magnus’ face in the light of the rising sun, the gold of sunrise sparking gold out of his eyes, and thinking how oddly beautiful he was, with his cat’s gaze and grace.

“Yes,” Alec said. “I like you.”

He met Magnus’ gaze squarely. The warlock was looking at him with a sort of admixture of curiosity and affection and puzzlement. “It’s so odd,” Magnus said. “Genetics. Your eyes, that color —” He stopped and shook his head.

“The Lightwoods you knew didn’t have blue eyes?”

“Green-eyed monsters,” said Magnus, and grinned. He deposited Chairman Meow on the ground, and the cat moved over to Alec, and rubbed against his leg. “The Chairman likes you.”

“Is that good?”

“I never date anyone my cat doesn’t like,” Magnus said easily, and stood up. “So let’s say Friday night?”

A great wave of relief came over Alec. “Really? You want to go out with me?”

Magnus shook his head. “You have to stop playing hard to get, Alexander. It makes things difficult.” He grinned. He had a grin like Jace’s — not that they looked anything alike, but the sort of grin that lit up his whole face. “Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

Alec drifted after Magnus toward the front door, feeling as if a weight had been taken off his shoulders, one he hadn’t even known he was carrying. Of course he’d have to come up with an excuse for where he was going Friday night, something Jace wouldn’t want to participate in, something he’d need to do alone. Or he could pretend to be sick and sneak out. He was so lost in thought he almost banged into the front door, which Magnus was leaning against, looking at him through eyes narrowed to crescents.

“What is it?” Alec said.

“Never kissed anyone?” Magnus said. “No one at all?”

“No,” said Alec, hoping this didn’t disqualify him from being datable. “Not a real kiss —”

“Come here.” Magnus took him by the elbows and pulled him close. For a moment Alec was entirely disoriented by the feeling of being so close to someone else, to the kind of person he’d wanted to be close to for so long. Magnus was long and lean but not skinny; his body was hard, his arms lightly muscled but strong; he was an inch or so taller than Alec, which hardly ever happened, and they fit together perfectly. Magnus’ finger was under his chin, tilting his face up, and then they were kissing. Alec heard a small hitching gasp come from his own throat and then their mouths were pressed together with a sort of controlled urgency. Magnus, Alec thought dazedly, really knew what he was doing. His lips were soft, and he parted Alec’s expertly, exploring his mouth: a symphony of lips, teeth, tongue, every movement waking up a nerve ending Alec had never known he had.

He found Magnus’ waist with his fingers, touching the strip of bare skin he’d been trying to avoid looking at before, and slid his hands up under Magnus’ shirt. Magnus jerked with surprise, then relaxed, his hands running down Alec’s arms, over his chest, his waist, finding the belt loops on Alec’s jeans and using them to pull him closer. His mouth left Alec’s and Alec felt the hot pressure of his lips on his throat, where the skin was so sensitive that it seemed directly connected to the bones in his legs, which were about to give out. Just before he slid to the floor, Magnus let him go. His eyes were shining and so was his mouth.

“Now you’ve been kissed,” he said, reached behind him, and yanked the door open. “See you Friday?”

Alec cleared his throat. He felt dizzy, but he also felt alive — blood rushing through his veins like traffic at top speed, everything seemingly almost too brightly colored. As he stepped through the door, he turned and looked at Magnus, who was watching him bemusedly. He reached forward and took hold of the front of Magnus’ t-shirt and dragged the warlock toward him. Magnus stumbled against him, and Alec kissed him, hard and fast and messy and unpracticed, but with everything he had. He pulled Magnus against him, his own hand between them, and felt Magnus’ heart stutter in his chest.

He broke off the kiss, and drew back.

“Friday,” he said, and let Magnus go. He backed away, down the landing, Magnus looking after him. The warlock crossed his arms over his shirt — wrinkled where Alec had grabbed it — and shook his head, grinning.

“Lightwoods,” Magnus said. “They always have to have the last word.”

He shut the door behind him, and Alec ran down the steps, taking them two at a time, his blood still singing in his ears like music.

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natrogersfics · 3 years

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After All - Chapter 5/5

Cover art by @faith2nyc Read on AO3

Natasha’s always prided herself in being a master at regulating her emotions. Years of field experience as a journalist has allowed her to hone the skill of taking a step back, drawing in a deep breath, and powering through the job. For regardless of how she personally felt about the matter at hand or how much she despised the person she was interviewing, the objective was to report the unadulterated facts. Right now, though, as she stands in Isabel’s room watching as Loki finishes suturing Isabel’s brow while Steve – who had to step in her place as Loki injected the anesthetic – holds her still, it’s as if her training cannot meet the moment.

Motherhood has transformed her in many ways, but one of the most notable changes is that she’s become a constant worrier. Some days the worry is dull, manageable – propelled by something as simple as whether or not Isabel’s had enough water to drink for the day. Nevertheless, the feeling is always underlying. But there are moments where such is its intensity that breathing becomes arduous, and in spite of the fact that Isabel’s cries have since tapered, she finds that this is one of those times.

“Okay,” Loki says in that saccharine tone she only ever hears him use when addressing Isabel. “That’s a wrap on these pesky needles.” He leans forward, tapping Isabel on the nose and eliciting a tired smile from the little girl. “Good job, Miss Isabel. My best patient without question.”

“She’s going to be okay, right?” Steve asks before she can, and she notes how tight his voice sounds as Isabel turns in his arms and snuggles into the crook of his neck.

“Yes, she will be,” Loki says without a hint of reluctance as he nods at Steve before turning to where she’s standing by the door. “Her reflexes are fine, and she isn’t exhibiting any signs of a concussion. Battle wound notwithstanding, she’s alright.”

The sigh she lets out at Loki’s words is loaded with relief. But the sensation is fleeting, replaced quickly by surprise when she hears Steve speak again. “Thank you, Loki.”

Loki nods once more, a little smile on his face as he balls up the remaining gauze and sutures and throws it into the bin. “The little one should get some rest, so I’ll see myself out,” he says, rising from his seat with his kit in his hands. “I’ll check up on her again in the morning.”

“I’ll walk you out,” she says, stealing a glance to where Steve is rocking Isabel to sleep before stepping out into the hall.

The living room is empty as they make it out, and as she and Loki silently walk towards the direction of her foyer, she catches sight of the note on her dining table with T’Challa’s familiar handwriting. While she feels terribly about having ruined their Christmas Eve, a part of her is glad that she does not have to face them too right at this moment. She lets out a sigh for what seems to be the millionth time in the last hour, turning back to Loki just as they reach her front door.

“Quite an evening, huh?” Loki says, smirking.

In spite of his attempt at humor, she finds that she can only look down. “Loki…” she says. “I-”

“She’s going to be okay, Nat,” Loki says, placing a hand on her arm.

“No, I know.” She looks up at him to find his eyebrows knitted together in question. “I trust you,” she says in clarification. “I trust your assessment. What I meant to say is I’m sorry. I’m sorry for tonight and for how Steve acted when you were just trying to help. I don’t know what happened.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

Loki chuckles quietly, a soft smile forming on his lips when she only stares blankly at him in response. “Is this love, Miss Romanoff?” he asks. “Because it sure looks a lot like it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she says, practically scoffing. Loki arches a brow at her, and she sighs. “If tonight's any indication-”

“If tonight's any indication, it’s that there’s obviously a lot that’s been left unsaid,” Loki finishes, shaking his head. “Natasha, my darling, forgive me if I sound like a broken record at this point. But you’re truly one of the brightest people I have had the pleasure of knowing, rivaling perhaps only my own mother for the top spot, so I know it’s only a matter of time.” He reaches to cup her face, running his thumb along her cheekbone. “Open your eyes and listen. For all our sakes.”

“Loki…” she whispers, holding his gaze.

With a smile, Loki leans down, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Merry Christmas, Nat.”

“Merry Christmas,” she repeats, mustering a smile as he turns and leaves.

As the door closes behind him, she pads back to the living room, making it as far as the couch until her legs feel too heavy to make it a step further. She sits down, putting her head in her hands as her shoulders sag with fatigue from the last few days. How a night that started out on such a high note devolved so quickly, she can’t begin to process. But if she knows one thing, it’s that she can’t take much more of this.

“Natasha.”

She looks up at the sound of her name to see Steve standing where the hallway and the living room meet. “Is she asleep?”

“Yes,” he says, moving closer to her. “Nat-”

“Do you know that Izzie has trouble sleeping?” she interrupts, rising to her feet to see him stopped in his tracks. He blinks in surprise, and she nods. “Yeah, there are nights when she’s practically inconsolable… That is until I play her a video with the two of you.” She chuckles humorlessly. “At first I thought it was just a coincidence. And admittedly, there’s a tiny part of me that was wishing that maybe by the time I cave and reach for my phone, that she’s already tired herself out enough to go to sleep. But then I realized that she hasn’t had an episode since you arrived.” She sighs, looking him right in the eyes. “She’s your daughter. I know that. God, if I don’t see that in every little thing she does, every single day. And if there’s ever a time that I made you feel like that wasn’t the case, I am so deeply sorry. That was never my intention. But this?” She shakes her head. “I’m incredibly exhausted, Steve. And not just from tonight. All these years, all I’ve been doing is adjusting to what you want-”

“Excuse me?” he practically spits out, his eyes wide. “What I want?”

“Yes, what you want!” she volleys back bitterly. “You wanted a no-strings-attached arrangement, you got it. Wanted in on our daughter’s life? Check. You wanted to come here for Christmas? I said fine.” She straightens her shoulders, raising her chin. “So, tell me, Steve. What exactly is your problem this time? Because I want this to work, but I am at the end of my rope here.” She sighs, her voice falling to a whisper. “I have nothing left to give you.”

“Nothing left to give me,” he mouths the words, incredulous. “Natasha, all I’ve ever wanted was for you to give me a chance!”

She scoffs. “You’ve had several years’ worth of chances to take, Steve, and I’ve been waiting just as long for even the faintest sign that you wanted one!”

“How was I supposed to know that when all you do is walk away?” he challenges. His words bring her to a pause, and as she stands frozen in place, all she can do is blink. He sighs. “Natasha, I thought everything was going well until that morning in my apartment-”

“Don’t you dare!” she says, throwing her hands out in frustration as she cuts him off. “I woke up to find your ex-fiancée thanking you for selling her back the house you bought together. The very same house that you told me you saw yourself raising a family in. What did you want me to do? Wait around for you to break the news to me when it was clearly standing right at your front door?”

“I wanted you to let me explain!” he says. “Because if you did, then I would have told you that I didn’t sell the house back to Sharon because I didn’t love you and didn’t see a life with you. I did it because I did!” He pauses, sucking in a breath to compose himself. “I didn’t want us to start a life together in a place that I wanted for all the wrong reasons.” He shrugs, defeated. “But then you were serving me a custody agreement so fast my head spun, and then there you were taking the job here before I even had time to recover.”

“I asked you if I had a reason to stay,” she says quietly.

“You did,” he concedes with a nod. “And I should have been brave enough to tell you that you did.” He sighs. “But that doesn’t matter anymore, does it? Because you’ve moved on.”

Her eyebrows furrow. “Moved on?”

“Yeah, Nat,” he says. “And you’re damn good at it, too. All you keep doing is moving on, it seems. You’re over me, over us, over New York. And then you’re here, moving on with him-”

“Wait, what?” she interjects.

“Loki,” he says simply, exasperation seeping into his tone. “Look, I’m sorry about how I’ve been acting, but- are you laughing?” His head tilts to the side, and as her laughter escalates, he looks at her like she’s lost her mind. “You’re laughing right now?”

“That’s what this is about?” she says, nearly breathless. “That’s the reason you’ve been acting like a crazy person these last two days?”

“I…” he trails, his forehead wrinkling. “Nat, he has a key to your flat, he’s in your kitchen... He calls you darling.” He scoffs. “I mean, Izzie practically rushes into his arms every time she sees him! And I don’t know how far into your relationship you two are- I mean, I can assume, I suppose. But even if he hasn’t told you, as the world’s leading expert on what it’s like to be in love with you, I’m telling you right now that he is.” His eyes are full of sincerity as he looks at her. “You’re you, Nat. It’s outrageously hard not to love you. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

The fog clears, taking with it all the questions and the doubt that’s plagued her in the last couple of years almost instantly as she stares at him and takes in his words. “Okay,” she says, chuckling as she rubs the back of her neck. “Steve, I’m alone. A lot. Yes, I have Izzie. But after a while, there’s only so much you can talk to a toddler about.” She pauses, and he nods silently in agreement. “And quite frankly, between parenting and working, I don’t get around much, so I don’t have that many friends here. T’Challa? Nakia? They’re out of town, travelling for the paper, as they should be. I see Pepper, what? Once a month if we’re lucky?” She sighs. “Loki’s the only person I can talk to these days because he lives next door and works weird hours. Heck, the only reason we even started talking was because I saw that he liked the same wine and I found out that we agree that men can be the absolute worst-”

“Natasha, I get it,” he interrupts, shaking his head. “And I’m so glad you’ve had someone to talk to. That you’ve found a confidante-”

“Yeah…” she says, raising a brow. “Because it really gets rough out here when men only seem to break our” – she makes sure to emphasize the last word, watching his reaction carefully – “hearts.”

“Right, I know,” he says. “He put you back together when all I did was hurt you. And while I’m devastated to have missed out on the chance to be with you, because I am still, and have always been insanely in love with you, I really do get it. I do. Loki’s a great guy. He’s dreamy, and for crying out loud, he saves babies! And fig loves him. I know that. I’ve accepted it. And the accent…”

“For God’s sake, Rogers,” she mutters, crossing the distance between them. He’s still ranting when she makes it to him, cupping his face in her hands as she pulls him down to her. He groans in surprise when her lips meet his, but just as he begins to respond to her kiss, she pulls away. “Loki’s gay, Steve.”

For a moment, he only stares at her, lust and confusion swirling in his blue orbs all at once. “Oh…” he says, blinking. His brows furrow as he parts his lips as if to say something, only to press them back into a line. “Oh.”

She bites back a smile. “Yeah… the guy he was seeing broke up with him around the same time Izzie and I moved here.”

“Well, that guy’s dumb…” he mumbles, cringing as he adds, “not unlike me.” His eyes are wide as he turns to her, his expression sheepish. “Why didn’t you just say so?”

“Because that’s not really my information to share,” she points out, to which he nods in concession. “Plus, how was I supposed to know that you wanted to be together too?”

“Too?” he clarifies. “So, I’m not too late?”

“Oh, my God,” she says indignantly. She steps closer to him once more, clutching the collar of his sweater in her hands as she looks right into his eyes. “I am still, and have always been, insanely in love with you too, you big oaf! I-”

Her words are cut off when he lowers his head to slant his lips over hers, his hands falling to her hips to pull her flush to him. Whereas their first kiss had been chaste, this one is hungry, needy – quickly growing teeth and making her head spin in no time at all when she tastes the combination of wine and something wholly and distinctly Steve. She snakes her arms around his neck, rising onto the tips of her toes to card her fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends. He moans her name longingly at that, and she smiles at the way his lips chase hers when she pulls away momentarily, a teasing comment already making its way to the tip of her tongue. But before she can say it, he bends at the knees, scooping her into his arms as he captures her lips in another searing kiss. Then like a practiced dance, she wraps her legs around his waist, letting him walk them down the hall and into her bedroom.

The second he walks in, she sets her feet down, placing her hands flat on his chest and pushing him towards the bed. He falls back onto it, a laugh escaping him as he bounces slightly, but it lasts but a second as she straddles his lap and her lips find his again.

“Natasha,” he says breathlessly between kisses, his hands covering hers as they find their way under his sweater. “Nat, wait-”

“It’s fine,” she says, guiding his hand up her arm and pressing down to let him feel where her implant is as she continues to kiss a trail down his jaw and to his neck. “I’m safe, and there hasn’t been anyone since you.”

The groan he lets out in response is almost pained, and she gasps in surprise when he flips them over, his pupils blown wide as he stares down at her. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Me?” she asks, flummoxed. “You’re the one flying here, showing up in your stupid leather jacket and then parading around my flat without a shirt on!” Her eyes narrow. “Do you have any idea how many cold showers I’ve taken in the last few days?”

His mouth twists into an amused grin. “I told you, Izzie ruined my shirt,” he says, reaching up to brush the hair out of her eyes. “And for the record, there hasn’t been anyone since you, either.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” she asks, desperation slipping into her tone as she squirms underneath him. “Less talking, more stripping!”

He chuckles, and in spite of her patience waning, she finds herself grinning at the sound. “You, Natasha Romanoff, would test the patience of a saint.”

“Did you get canonized recently or something?” she asks, huffing out a breath when he rolls his eyes at her. “Don’t you think we’ve waited long enough?”

“I know, baby,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss her again. “And you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” He shakes his head. “How much I want you.” Even as his eyes have grown dark and stormy, the pining in them is as clear as day, making the blood sing in her veins. “But I don’t want to rush this, Nat. I want to start over. I want-” He pauses, taking in a deep breath. “I need to get this right.”

“But it is right.” She moves to sit up, prompting him to sit back on his knees. “Steve, I thought that everything that happened between us was proof that we were a mistake, that everything I’ve been holding onto was a lie.” He looks down at his lap, his expression twisting as if he’s reliving the pain of the last couple of years all over again. “Hey, look at me,” she says, reaching over to hook a finger under his chin, tilting his head up. “I was wrong.” She shakes her head. “The last twenty-four hours notwithstanding, I haven’t been as happy as I’ve been these last few days in a long, long time. I won’t speak for you, but-”

“It’s the same for me,” he interrupts without a trace of hesitation in his voice, holding her gaze. “Exactly the same, Nat.”

She smiles. “Then if there’s something I know for sure now, it’s that you, me… fig. It’s right. It’s always been right.” She sighs, running her thumb over his jawline. “I love you, Steve. I want to be with you. So please, no more waiting. No more wasting time.”

It takes a beat, but then he’s surging forward to kiss her, pushing her onto her back once more as her arms wrap around his neck. “I love you,” he whispers against her lips. “I love you so damn much.”

“Then show me,” she says, smiling when with a groan, he pulls away and lets his hands trail to the hem of her blouse, pulling it up and off of her. She leans up on her elbows as he sits back again, letting her gaze trail hungrily down his chest and to the smooth planes of his stomach as he reaches behind him to rid himself of his sweater.

“See something you like?” he asks, smirking when he catches her staring.

She peers up at him from underneath her lashes. “More like something I need.”

“Good,” he says, causing the breath to get caught in her throat at the way his eyes flash. “So do I.”

He brings his lips back to hers, reaching behind her to undo the clasp of her bra, and she slides it off her arms when it comes loose around her before throwing it unceremoniously to the floor. Gently, he pushes her shoulder, guiding her back down as he peppers kisses down the column of her throat and lets his hands wander over her torso. He cups the swell of her breast, ghosting a thumb over her nipple, and she feels him smile against her skin at the gasp that slips from her lips.

“Steve.” She sighs his name brokenly when his mouth moves from her neck to her sternum, worshipping every inch of skin it finds in its trail. It’s when his lips hover past her navel, his fingers hooking into the waistband of her leggings that she places her hands over his, keeping them in place.

He moves back up her body to look her in the eyes. “Let me,” he says the same time she tells him he does not have to, and as she blinks up at him, chest heaving, he smiles softly. “Can I, Nat?”

There’s an undercurrent of desperation in the way he asks the question, as if he needs this – craves this – and despite how much she aches to feel him against her, to have his skin against hers, when she takes in the unadulterated desire in his eyes, she finds herself powerless to do anything but nod. She lets go of his hands, biting her lip in anticipation as he moves back down her body. Cool air skims over her newly exposed skin as he pulls her leggings down along with her panties, making her shiver as her heart picks up in her chest, and she gasps when he presses a kiss to the inside of her thigh, propping one of her legs over his shoulder.

“Steve,” she moans loudly – wantonly – into the darkness of the room when he licks up her center. Her head falls to the side, her hands scrambling for purchase on the duvet as a litany of curses slip from her lips, and that’s all he needs to hear to bring his hands to her waist, holding her still as he flicks his tongue against her bundle of nerves. The sensation that pulses through her is almost too much too fast, but her body craves it all the same, and she bites her lip to keep from laughing out. It’s pathetic that he has her teetering off the edge this quickly, this suddenly, but at the same time, she’s not surprised. He learned her body long ago, and she’s infinitely glad that in spite of the time that’s passed since they’ve last been together like this, he still knows it like the back of his hand. It’s when he pushes two fingers into her, curling them as they work in tandem with his tongue that she finally keens, her vision a white-hot blur as she calls out his name.

“Hi,” he whispers when she finally opens her eyes moments later, her heart still ringing in her ears. “You still with me?” His lips turn up in a boyish smile when she nods. “Good.”

He pulls away from her, and despite her first orgasm still coursing hotly through her veins, she whines at the loss of contact. “Steve.”

“I’m here, Nat,” he says, returning to bracket her body with his own after making short work of his pants. When she attempts to pull him down to her, he chuckles. “Remind me again where Izzie got her impatience from?”

“Want you,” she says, ignoring his quip and not caring one bit about how desperate her tone has gotten. “Want you now.” He smiles, but it’s quickly replaced by a groan when she reaches between them, wrapping a hand around his length.

“Fuck,” he all but growls, his eyes slamming shut as she begins to pump her hand up and then down. “Natasha.”

“Please,” she says, her breath hot against his ear, and that’s all she has to say to make him shift his weight onto his forearms as she guides him to her entrance, hissing when he brushes up against her. A gasp falls from her lips, her toes curling into the sheets as he begins to sink into her, inch by inch, and it isn’t until he’s bottomed out that she realizes how much she’s missed this feeling – how much she’s missed him. He leans down, brushing her lips with his own, and making her crave the friction that much more. “Steve,” she calls out, digging her nails into his back. He looks down at her, his jaw clenched, and only then does it dawn on her that he’s stilled for her benefit. “It’s okay,” she promises as his eyes search hers for affirmation. She smiles. “Move, baby.”

With a nod, he begins to roll his hips, drawing out a mewl from her as his lips find her collarbone. She knows there’ll be marks tomorrow, but she can’t bring herself to care. The lazy snap of his hips coupled with the warmth of his mouth on her skin as he nips and teases is addictive, dizzying, and she wants more. She needs more. With that, she wraps her legs around his waist, pushing the heels of her feet into his lower back, encouraging him to go deeper, faster. He groans, the last of his restraint seemingly crumbling when he intertwines their fingers and pins their hands above her head, picking up the pace and making her gasp at the delicious shift in angle.

Pleasure curls in her gut in no time at all, coiling tightly, and it isn’t until he’s shushing her gently that she realizes her moans have grown louder. “I’ve got you,” he says, whispering the words and other sweet nothings into her lips again and again. “I’ve got you, Nat. With me, okay?”

She manages a nod, catching the smile that forms on his lips. And then he’s slipping a hand down between them, making her back bow off the mattress as he thumbs at her bundle of nerves. Her belly clenches as pleasure pulses rapidly through every synapse, every nerve, and though she could feel it coming, a surprised gasp still slips from her lips when her orgasm washes over her, stealing the air right out of her lungs. He kisses her as she tumbles over the edge, pushing into her once, twice, and then with a grunt, he goes still, following her right into the abyss.

Quiet settles over them, their labored breathing the only sound as they come down from their highs. Her body hasn’t completely stopped trembling when he pulls out of her, eliciting a whimper from her as he brushes against her still sensitive flesh, and he kisses her temple consolingly as he shifts onto his back and pulls her to him.

“I’m sorry,” he says later on when their breathing comes back to normal. She lifts her head off his chest to look at him, her eyebrows knitting when she finds his eyes filled with contrition. He sighs. “I’m sorry for not fighting for you… for us, sooner.”

“No,” she says, shaking her head. “We’ve both made mistakes.” She reaches up to push the hair out of his forehead. “I’m sorry for assuming… well, everything. And for not giving you a chance to explain.”

He takes her hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss the inside of her wrist. “Any chance there’s still one in those years’ worth of chances that’s still up for grabs?”

She smiles. “I think so.”

She’s warm. That’s the first thing that comes to Natasha’s mind when she stirs awake, her eyes blinking as they adjust to the pale morning light. But as her vision focuses, she realizes the warmth she’s feeling has less to do with the comforter she’s cocooned in and more with the arm draped over her waist. She turns to her other side to see Steve, his outrageously long lashes fanned out against his cheeks as he sleeps, and as memories of the last few hours come flooding back to her, she smiles.

It was past midnight when they finally found the wherewithal to clean the remnants of the feast she prepared, sharing a plate of leftovers and a few glasses of wine as they transferred the food into containers and loaded the dishwasher. They’d even gotten around to wrapping the last of Isabel’s Christmas presents, laying them neatly under the tree before finding themselves a tangled mess of limbs on her bed again, taking their sweet time this time around to get reacquainted with one another. After, they’d spent the rest of the night talking, laughing, and though they’d spent many nights like this in the past, this time felt significantly different. They still had so much to discuss, but with all their cards on the table, it’s as if their conversations – their plans – finally had a shot at permanence, a chance to become reality, and it would be a lie to say that the idea didn’t make her heart absolutely sing.

“You’re staring.”

Steve’s voice interrupts her musing, and she chuckles when she looks to find his eyes already open. “Some people find that romantic, you know.”

“In movies, maybe,” he says through a yawn. “But in real life, it’s just creepy.” She glares at him, giving his chest a shove, and he grins sleepily as he pulls her in for a kiss. “Merry Christmas, Natasha Romanoff.”

“Merry Christmas,” she whispers back, beaming.

He brings a hand to her hip, rubbing circles into her skin with his thumb. “You okay?”

The question causes her to bite her lip, stifling a smirk. It’s not as if last night was their first time – one need not look further than their daughter sleeping down the hall for proof – and yet, it was such a Steve thing to ask. She smiles. “Never better.”

Had it been any other morning, she might have called him out on the smug smile that crosses his lips, but she decides that today, she’ll let him have it. “So, tell me,” he says. “At what point in the last six months did you become a morning person?”

“It’s cute that you think your daughter let me have a say in the matter,” she deadpans, reaching up to cup his face and letting out a contented sigh. “And I’m just happy.”

“Yeah?” he asks, pulling her over him until she’s straddling his hips. “How happy?”

“I think…” she says, biting her lip as she leans down to whisper in his ear, “I’d rather show you than tell you.” He raises a curious brow at her as she pulls away, watching her carefully as she kisses her way down his neck, and she smiles when she feels his skin prickle under her lips.

“Hi!”

They both freeze at the greeting, sharing a wide-eyed stare with each other before turning to see Isabel watching them by the doorway, her stuffed Corgi in hand. “Oh, my God, Izzie,” she says, quickly grabbing her robe that’s dangling on the bedpost and wrapping it around herself. She hops off the bed, managing to throw Steve his boxers before she makes it to Isabel, bending down to pick her up. “How did you get out of your crib, babe?”

Isabel’s only response is to laugh, waving over her shoulder. “Hi, Dada!”

She turns just as Steve emerges from under the comforter. “Hi, fig.”

“You good over there?” she asks, biting back a smile.

He shoots her a withering look as she makes her way back to the bed. “Come here, you little escape artist,” he says, reaching for Isabel and making her giggle as he smothers her with kisses. “What did we say about climbing things?”

“Pwe-sents!” Isabel says, smiling widely.

He chuckles, turning to her just as she settles down next to him, leaning back against the headboard. “Do you want to have breakfast first?”

“No,” Isabel answers before she can get a word in, prompting them both to shake their head in amusement.

“In case you haven’t noticed, she’s kind of the boss around here” she says, smirking.

He laughs. “Presents it is.”

The floor of her living room is a sea of torn up wrapper and discarded ribbon, but as she brings her mug of hot chocolate to her lips, she finds that she couldn’t care less about the sprawling mess as she watches Steve help Isabel rip open her presents. For her part, she’s dutifully played photographer, cataloguing Isabel’s reaction to each gift – as requested by the competitive bunch of aunts, uncles, and grandparents all hellbent on one-upping each other.

“Last one, Iz,” Steve says, handing her a rectangular box.

“What is it?” she prompts excitedly as she puts her mug down to hold the camera back up, capturing the moment Isabel gets the last of the wrapper off and pulls the item out.

“Hat!” Isabel says, turning in Steve’s lap to show him.

“Close,” Steve says, nearly chuckling at the way Isabel’s brows furrow in dismay at his response. “It’s called a beanie. Though it’s just not any other beanie.” He looks her way as he adds, “It’s a beanie uncle Buck chose.”

The laugh slips freely from her lips. “Oh no!”

“Oh yes,” he confirms, his fingers feeling for something in the fabric. “Tada!”

“Wow!” Isabel exclaims, her big blue eyes filling with elation as the antlers on the Reindeer beanie light up, the array of colorful lights twinkling brightly. “Am-a-zing!”

“You hear that?” Steve asks, shooting her a smile. “It’s am-a-zing!” He turns to Isabel, pointing at the camera. “Say, thank you, Uncle Buck.”

“Thanks Buck!” Isabel says.

She chuckles as she cuts the video and rises to her feet. “I hope you still think it’s am-a-zing when she wants to go out in public with that thing,” she tells him in a sing-song voice as she opens up a trash bag and begins to collect the discarded wrapper.

“You mock the beanie now,” he says, standing when Isabel runs off to play with her new mountain of toys. “But when she runs off and the lights make her easy to spot, you might be singing a different tune.”

“The faith you have in our daughter keeping something on her head for more than five minutes is inspirational,” she says, turning to see him grab more wrapper off the floor. “Truly, it is.” She laughs as he rolls his eyes, slipping the bunch he has in his hand into the bag she’s holding as he comes to stand in front of her. “Is that everything?”

“As far as the wrapper’s concerned, yes,” he says, smiling as he produces a folded piece of paper from his back pocket. “But you still haven’t opened this.”

Her eyebrows furrow as she takes the paper from him. “Who’s this from?”

“Me,” he says simply.

“Steve.” His name falls from her lips like a chastisement, and she can only sigh when his response is to encourage her to open it. “Well, now I feel bad,” she says as her fingers work to unfold the paper. “I got you that gift from the aquarium to be funny and then you got me that book, and now…” Her words trail off as she opens the paper all the way, her eyes scanning over what’s scrawled out on it:

Will you go out on a date with me?

“I meant what I said about starting over,” he says when she looks up. “Or, at least, doing the parts we skipped.” His lips twist into a smile. “And I figured since contracts seem to be our thing, maybe you’d say yes if I asked you in writing.”

“You’re kidding, right?” she asks even as her lips turn up in amusement.

“I’m completely serious,” he says, shrugging at the incredulous stare she sends his way. “We could get dressed up, go to dinner and a movie…” He wiggles his eyebrows as he adds, “maybe even make out in the back of the theater.” She snorts at that last bit, and he smiles. “What do you say?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, okay?” she says, her expression growing serious. “But Steve, usually, a guy asks a girl out before she has his baby.”

When she smiles, he throws his head back, laughing. “Okay, well, usually a girl agrees to go out with a guy before she asks him to have a baby with her, so I guess we’re not really into chronology here.” He smirks as she narrows his eyes playfully at him. “Besides, your manufactured indignation would be a lot more convincing if you didn’t practically jump my bones last night.”

She gasps at that, stealing a quick glance over at Isabel to make sure she’s not listening before looking back at him, lowering her voice. “Oh, fuck you.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, a glint in his eyes as he pulls her to him. “Is that not what you were doing last night?”

“Whatever,” she says, unable to keep a smile from forming on her lips. “Fine. Yes, I will go out on a date with you.” His eyes light up at that, and she holds a finger up. “But if you give me another note at the end asking me to go steady, I’m leaving.”

He beams. “Yes, ma’am.”

She rises to the tips of her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck as his mouth finds hers for what feels like the millionth time this morning. The taste of his lips mingled with the hot chocolate they were sipping on is a heavy combination, and she lets out a happy sigh into their kiss when his hands curl around her waist, his thumb brushing against the patch of skin left exposed between her shirt and her pajamas. She nips at his bottom lip, making him groan, and it’s only when they hear someone clearing their throat that they pull away and she moves to look behind Steve.

“Sorry,” Loki says from where he leans by the doorway of her living room, his arms crossed over his chest as he grins from ear to ear. “I only came to check on the little one. I swear I knocked, but um…”

She bites her bottom lip just as Steve turns as well, but before she can say anything, Isabel is already up and running. “Yo-ki!”

“Well, hello there,” Loki says, picking Isabel up. “Someone’s chipper on this Christmas morning, I see. I’ve come to check on your stitches, which I tried to tell your Mum and Dad” – he turns back to them, smirking – “but they were busy.”

“Stitches, right,” she says a little too loudly, pointing towards the couch to hide her blush. “After you, Doc.”

Loki asks them a few of routine questions about Isabel as he sets his medical kit down on the coffee table, and as she and Steve take turns answering them and sharing their observations, she realizes that it’s nice to know that someone else was quietly sharing her worries throughout the night, picking up on the little things she was finding as well. They go silent as Loki begins to examine Isabel, checking her reflexes and changing the bandage covering her stitches.

“Okay,” Loki says, finally breaking the tense silence that had fallen over them. “This sweetheart is free to play with all her Christmas goodies.”

“Yeah?” she says. “Everything looks good?”

“Everything’s just splendid,” Loki says, turning to her and Steve as he helps Isabel off the couch. He drops the flashlight into his kit, zipping it up. “She’s not exhibiting any signs of a concussion and her stitches are healing up well and should dissolve on their own fairly soon.”

“Thank God,” Steve says, relief thick in his voice, and she finds herself nodding along to the sentiment.

“Thank you for coming to check on her,” she tells Loki, who only smiles in return. “I owe you one.”

“As do I,” Steve adds. “Any chance we could start the repayment with some breakfast?”

“I appreciate the offer, but actually the reason I came by early is because I’m on my way to my mother’s,” Loki says, smiling as he nods towards the both of them. “It’s nice to see you two have patched things up, though.”

“Yeah, about that,” Steve says. “Loki, I’m sorry for my behavior last night. There’s no excuse. I was an ass.”

“Oh, that’s quite alright,” Loki says, waving off his apology.

Steve shakes his head. “It’s not. I-”

“He thought you and I were together,” she blurts out suddenly, smiling when Steve’s eyes widen, a sheepish expression breaking out on his face.

“Well, that explains a lot,” Loki says, grinning graciously as his gaze goes from her to Steve. “In any case, I’m flattered that you’d consider me a worthy adversary.”

She smirks. “He also thinks you’re dreamy.”

“Does he now?” Loki asks, clearly amused.

“And on that note,” Steve says, turning to glare at her. “I think I hear our daughter calling.”

She and Loki snicker as Steve, ears red, walks away. “You sure you can’t stay?” she asks. “It won’t even take ten minutes to get the waffles going.”

“I’m sorry, darling,” Loki says as they begin to make their way towards her front door. “I don’t want to hit traffic and you know my mother will kill me if I so much as have a bite before I come to her home.”

“Tell Frigga I said hello then,” she says as she opens the door, leaning against it.

“Oh, believe me, that’s not the only thing I’ll be telling her,” he says, smirking as he gestures to her collarbone. She looks down, and he laughs as she adjusts the collar of her shirt to hide the mark still there. “Long night, was it?” She shoots him a withering look as he leans down to kiss her cheek, cocking a brow up at her. “I fully expect a detailed play by play when I get back.”

She chuckles, shoving him away playfully. “Get out of here!”

Loki smiles. “I’m happy for you, Nat.”

“Thank you,” she says with a nod. “Merry Christmas.”

With a wink, Loki waves goodbye, and she waits for him to make it down the stairs before shutting the door. She walks back to the living room, stopping just by the threshold to see Steve carrying Isabel as they both peer out the window. She smiles. “What are you two goofs up to?”

“Is ’nowing!” Isabel says, pointing out the window as Steve turns.

“Is it?” she asks as she pads to them, making a show of checking out the window. “It is! Maybe if there’s enough later, we can go outside and try to make Olaf.”

Steve’s brow rises in question. “Who’s Olaf?”

“Glad you asked,” she says at the same time Isabel utters snowman. Steve only stares blankly at them, making her laugh. “Don’t worry, you’ll get acquainted with him, Elsa, and Anna... Probably three times before this morning is over, if you’re lucky.”

“Still don’t know who those people are,” he says, pulling her in with his other hand until she’s pressed up against his side. “But I’ll gladly find out if you two introduce me.”

“What’s the saying again?” she muses, looking up teasingly at him. “Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it?”

He grins. “I think I may already have.”

The affection that fills his eyes is so remarkably perspicuous that she wonders how she’s missed it all these years, and as her lips turn up to mirror his smile, she makes a silent vow to never doubt its existence ever again. He leans down, but before his lips can meet hers, Isabel turns in his arms, effectively wedging herself between them.

“Mish-tow!” Isabel says, pointing above them.

They both laugh as they look up, and sure enough, the bundle of mistletoe she had put up yesterday looms above them. She smirks. “You know what that means, right?”

“I think I do,” he says, nodding knowingly as they both turn to Isabel, who’s watching them curiously.

“Fig sandwich!” they both yell as they lean in, pressing a kiss to Isabel’s cheeks and delighting in the way their daughter’s joyous laughter echoes throughout the room.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

#Romanogers #After All #A Little Favor #Steve Rogers #Natasha Romanoff #natrogers #fanfic #AU

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ssa-montgomery · 3 years

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I Can't Help Falling In Love With You

Word Count: 2154

Summary: Addison and Meredith are discovering their new relationship so when all their roommates are at the hospital they take the opportunity to share a bath together after a long day at work.

Characters: Meredith x Addison

Warnings: Fluff, sharing a bath so nakedness but nothing too explicit, kissing, and a whole lot of realization of feelings.

A/N: It’s been a while! Sorry for that break but I’m back with a new one-shot! I’ve had this in the drafts for quite a while now so I hope you all enjoy it now that I’ve finally finished it. If you want to see it I may do a part two of this of them exploring more of their relationship with smut as I enjoy writing them in this phase of their relationship.

Feedback is what motivates me to work so please let me know what you think! Reblogs are also greatly appreciated.

Taglist is open!

Masterlist

Addison stepped into the house and let the front door swing closed behind her, sliding her key into the lock. It went in easily but as she turned it, it jammed. She sighed and fiddled with it for a minute before she finally heard it click. They really needed to get it fixed already. They, Addison still felt strange saying it. She had certainly never expected to end in up this situation and yet, here she was. Had anyone told her before she moved to Seattle that she would end up living in a house full of interns with the woman who had been sleeping with her husband, she would have laughed in there face. When the divorce with Derek had been settled she found that she was no longer welcome at the trailer and while she was grateful that her hotel had more space than that metal tube ever had, she was starting to crazy staring at the four walls in that room.

It had been brought up in a conversation with Meredith, just jokingly at first, while they were walking through the car park together at the end of a shift. Meredith had looked at Addison more sincerely than she had ever expected her to and explained that she had a spare bedroom in the house if she ever needed it. She had been hesitant to accept at first, the thought of living with the interns had been almost terrifying to her but in the end, she accepted. Living in the house had been more pleasant than she had ever imaged and she found herself growing to love it.

Addison shrugged off her black coat and hung it up on the coat rack conveniently placed in the hall and neatly kicked off her heels next to the door. She quickly learned that none of her new housemates found the rack quite as convenient as none of them seemed to use it at all. Addison moved further into the house and quickly remembered that everyone else was still on-call at the hospital when she didn't trip over any discarded coats in the middle of the floor.

The house felt almost eerily silent and still when it was this empty. There was usually constant chattering of some kind, whether it was an easy conversation over a glass of wine at the end of a long shift or bickering in the mornings over who had used the last of the coffee. Addison let out a sigh of relief at the thought of having the house to herself for a little while. The time to catch her breath and to do some thinking. The past few weeks had certainly given her a lot to think about.

Moving into Meredith Grey's home wasn't the only thing involving the blonde that Addison had never in her wildest dreams expected to happen. There had been one night when Addison was only living there a week and a half where it had been just the pair of them home. They sat in the living room together sharing a bottle of red wine that Addison had picked up on her way home from work and they talked about everything. It felt completely natural and Addison felt comfortable with her. What had surprised her most was when Meredith decided to turn in for the night she leaned over and kissed her. Perhaps what surprised her the most was how happy it made her.

They sat down together the next morning with a cup of coffee, now both sober and thinking clearly, and talked about what had happened. They both agreed that they wanted more for their relationship and since then, they had been dating. They hadn't told any of the others yet and they hadn't quite put a label on what exactly they were, but that didn't matter to Addison. All she knew was that she was attracted to Meredith and she cared about her deeply.

It hadn't been a particularly hard shift at the hospital that day, but it was a long one. She could really feel the tension starting in her shoulders and her feet hurt from standing around all day. She really did need to remember to stop wearing heels on long shifts. A bubble bath. That was Addison's solution and exactly what she needed to relax. She dropped the last of her things into her bedroom before making her way down to the bathroom. Addison pushed the door open but stopped once she stepped into the room.

"Oh. I'm sorry I didn't think anyone was home."

Addison watched Meredith open her eyes at the sudden noise of the door opening and smile up at her. She was already fully submerged in a mountain bubbles and Addison could see the steam rising off the water and she guessed Meredith had only recently gotten in. There was an overwhelming smell of lavender filling the room from the bath soaks Meredith had used and she had turned the lights off, the only source of light coming from the candles scattered around the edge of the bath. Her hair was pulled up into a messy high ponytail to keep it out of the water.

"That's alright Addie. What was it that you wanted?" Meredith asked.

"Well, great minds think alike." Addison laughed gently. "I was planning on having a bath too but I can wait. I might just use the one downstairs."

Addison smiled at her and turned to walk out of the room but just as she placed her hand on the door handle Meredith called her name. She looked back at the blonde who now had her arms crossed supporting her head on the edge of the tub. She looked stunning like that Addison thought. Her forearms still had a thin layer of tiny bubbles and the loose strands of her hair had started to curl from the heat. Then again, when didn't she look stunning?

"You could if you wanted to - if you felt comfortable with it - join me?" Meredith offered. Addison could hear the hint of nerves in her voice as she asked, almost like a fear that she was pushing it too far.

Their relationship had been progressing steadily and while there had been a few nights where things had gotten heated between the pair they still hadn't gotten as far as seeing each other naked. This would be them taking yet another step in their relationship but she would be lying if she said she hadn't already thought about it. Addison stopped to think for a moment before she smiled brightly at Meredith.

"Yeah," She nodded. "I'd like that."

"Okay." Meredith beamed back at her, the look of relief clear on her face as she let out a slight laugh.

This time it was Meredith's turn to watch Addison as she made her way over to the cabinet to retrieve a hair tie and quickly throw her hair up into a loose bun. The mirror had already fogged up so the bun was far from perfect but it did the trick. Meredith always loved when she wore her hair like that, two loose strains falling down to frame her face on either side. Addison was wearing one of her signature well fitted black dresses and she carefully reached behind her, catching the zip to pull it down. The zip slid down smoothly and Addison brushed the dress off her shoulders, stepping out of it once it hit the floor. She folded her dress neatly and left it lying on the counter. Now Addison was standing in the middle of the bathroom in nothing but her lingerie and sheer black stockings. Her lingerie, of course, was a black lace set that matched the stockings.

Meredith turned so she was now lying back down properly in the bath. She didn't want to put Addison under any pressure and wanted to give her as much privacy as she could while she took off the last of her clothing. It was something Addison appreciated, even if she didn't mind Meredith watching. She felt it was a sign of trust between them, of Meredith's respect for her. She wholeheartedly trusted her to let her take it at her own pace. Addison gently tapped Meredith's shoulder.

"Move up a bit." She whispered, leaning in close to Meredith's ear.

Meredith complied and shifted forward, letting Addison slip into the water behind her. The water was the perfect temperature and Addison let out a content sigh when she felt the warmth against her skin. She moved to lie more comfortably letting Meredith settle between her legs, her back resting against Addison's chest. Addison reached up gently carding her fingers through her hair and guided her head back to lean on her shoulder.

"This is nice." Meredith smiled.

"It is." Addison agreed, already feeling more relaxed from just the warmth and the contact with Meredith. She caught Meredith's hand in hers and laced their hands together, wrapping her arms around her waist. She melted back into Addison at the contact. It was different, lying together like this and yet at the same time, it felt completely natural.

"Long day at work?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah." Addison nodded. "Not too tough just a lot of hours, but I did get to send a wonderful couple home with their twins so, a happy day. What about you? How come you were home early?"

"Oh well, they didn't need all the interns on call-on and Izzie wanted the weekend off so I offered to trade shifts and got the rest of the night off," Meredith explained. "Honestly, I really wanted to come home and see you."

"Really?" Addison said, she sounded almost surprised. At times she still didn't understand why Meredith had chosen her and how she could be lucky enough to have someone as loving as Meredith care about her. It had taken her a while to accept that she deserved it. That she deserved to be happy with the woman she loved. Loved. She shocked herself with that thought but it was true, over the last few weeks with the blonde she had fallen deeper and deeper in love with her. Maybe now it was holding her in her arms like this that made it all finally sink in for her. But either way, she loved Meredith Grey.

"Really."

Addison could feel the smile breaking out on her face and she leaned down pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. Meredith smiled back into the kiss, reaching her hand up to wrap around the back of Addison's neck to pull her down, deepening the kiss. They stayed like this until the unfortunate need for air made Meredith pull away. She gently brushed her thumb across Addison's cheek before she moved her head back to her shoulder. Addison let her fingers play across Meredith's sides, tracing light patterns into her skin. Meredith giggled at the ticklish feeling of it. She moved her fingers up higher at the sudden gigglish response and danced her fingers across her ribs.

"Stop!" Meredith gasped between fits of laugher, trying to swat Addison's hands away. "You're going to spill the water out of the bath!"

"It's not me that's wriggling around!" Addison laughed, her head falling back against the edge of the bath. The room was filled with the sound of their mixed laughter and a content and happy feeling. "Besides, it's not my fault you didn't tell me your ticklish."

"Oh, I definitely think you're doing it on purpose now." Her tone was as accusing as it could be when there were tears forming in the corners of her eyes from the laughter. It warmed her heart to see Meredith this open and comfortable with her and to know she was brining her this happiness.

Addison pressed her lips to Meredith's neck and the added sensation had her turning over to try and escape her tickling. The movement made the water slosh up over the edge spilling a small amount out onto the tiles below.

"I told you!" Meredith scolded her, having finally caught her breath now that Addison's hands had come to rest on her waist.

"It's nothing too bad." Addison chuckled taking a glance over the edge. "We can just throw a towel down onto it when we get out."

"Okay." She nodded resting her face in the hollow of Addison's neck as she let out a content sigh against her skin. In this new position, Addison could run her hands up the length of Meredith's spine feeling each vertebrae as she did. It was a soothing feeling and after a while, Addison wasn't even aware that she was still doing until Meredith moved and her fingers were now running across smooth skin.

"The water's getting cold." Meredith pointed out after a minute of silence.

"I know, I just want to hold you for a little bit longer."

Taglist: @marauder-level-chaos

#greys anatomy #greys anatomy fanfic #greys anatomy fic #greys anatomy fanfiction #addison montgomery #addison montgomery fanfiction #meredith grey #meredith grey fanfiction #meredith x addison #meredith x addison fanfiction #meradd #meradd fanfiction #meddison #meddison fanfiction #merddison

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bytheangell · 3 years

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Throw Your Mercy Down

(S02E05 inspired fic) (Read on AO3)

“No one blames you.”

“They should.”

Alec wants to scream it, to shout it through the halls of the Institute. He isn’t being punished at all for killing Jocelyn, not so much as a stern reprimand or a temporary benching from active duty. It’s as if nothing happened at all - as if he didn’t take the life of a fellow Shadowhunter.

As if he didn’t kill Clary and Jace’s mother.

It’s his fault. They should blame him. They should hate him! He should’ve been stronger, strong enough to fight it, or at least smart enough to not let it get him in the first place.

Jace says he understands, but he doesn’t. Alec imagines that Jace understands the most out of anyone in his life, but even his parabatai doesn’t completely get it - if he did then he wouldn’t be trying to convince Alec to go back inside for debriefings and mission assignments like it’s just another day, Valentine or not.

He can’t go inside, and since he can’t hide on the rooftop forever now that Jace knows he’s here the only other option is to leave. Thankfully, Jace doesn’t try to follow.

Alec doesn’t know where he’s going until he’s almost there, realizing he instinctively walked towards Magnus’. Alec glances at the front door, considering the options of ringing the bell or calling to see if Magnus is even home first. Instead, he climbs the fire escape and just sits there for a while.

He isn’t sure if he even plans on going in. Right now just being here, somewhere that feels safe and familiar (that isn’t the Institute) is enough. He has fresh air, a view of the city, and he can just think without the concern of having to face anyone (Jace and Clary) he doesn’t want to.

He’s half-tempted to leave before Magnus notices he’s there when he hears the sound of the door opening beside him. Alec tries to deflect talking about what’s on his mind by bringing up Camille, and Magnus lets him. Magnus is open and honest about something that obviously upsets him to talk about, and it only drives home the fact that Alec isn’t doing the same, despite his previous promise not to push Magnus away when things get crazy.

This is as crazy as things have ever been for Alec, that’s for sure.

But how can he talk about it to Magnus and expect him to ever think of Alec the same way again? That goes double for Clary and Jace, and the others at the Institute.

“You’ll blow up the very ground you stand on to make something right.”

Right now, the ground he stands on is with Magnus. It’s a safe place to turn to when the Institute is too much. It’s the first steps towards a happiness he never imagined possible for himself. Is he willing to risk blowing up everything he’s so carefully started to build here, just to let Magnus in on why this guilt feels so consuming and insurmountable?

Alec glances from Magnus back down to his hands, then pulls the stele out of his pocket, lifts up the side of his shirt, and activates his Iratze. It’s been long enough that the wound will likely scar, but the worst of the damage will heal over shortly. He spends a few extra seconds looking at his hand, running his thumb gently over the already healing wound one last time.

Magnus’ gaze is softer when Alec finally looks back up to meet it. It strikes Alec how cautious Magnus is being with him, as if he’s afraid of scaring Alec away with one wrong move or misspoken word. Alec supposes that possibility isn’t so far off after how he reacted to Jace earlier.

“Do you want to come inside?”

Alec considers this. He still isn’t ready to face Clary at the Institute, and he wants to talk to Magnus the way Magnus was so willing to talk to him. He wants to try, at least.

“Alright,” Alec agrees, following Magnus indoors.

Magnus motions toward the drink cart in a silent offer but Alec shakes his head. “No. I need to go back at some point, probably sooner rather than later.” The last thing he needs is to risk more lives by showing up and going on patrol with alcohol in his system.

Magnus nods, and to Alec’s surprise begins to make them both tea instead of having a drink of his own. In the meantime, Alec is left alone with his thoughts. Even when Magnus returns and hands him a warm mug, he doesn’t force Alec to talk or ask him anything about Jocelyn or the attack.

Alec finally works up the nerve on his own, the words nearly exploding out of him in a sudden burst of frustration and confusion.

“I just don’t get it!” Alec admits. “How can Jace act like nothing happened? How can he or Clary ever forgive me? How can any of them ever rely on me again when I couldn’t help my own parabatai when he went missing, and I couldn’t even protect my own Institute from a demon!?”

“Alec, neither of those things are your fault. You did everything in your power to track Jace, and it nearly cost you your life. And as much as it terrifies me to even consider,” Magnus says, swallowing hard. “I’m relatively certain if there was anything you could’ve done to protect the Institute, no matter the cost to yourself, you would’ve done that, too.”

Alec sits with that for a minute or two, because Magnus is right. Alec knows it the moment he hears it - if he could’ve traded places with Jocelyn he would’ve without a second thought. If he could’ve taken out the demon before it entered the Institute, even if it cost his life, he would’ve done it to protect his family.

He could agree, and leave it at that. He could drop the conversation now and have opened up a little, even if it isn’t everything… but it doesn’t feel like enough. And now that he’s started talking about it he feels like he needs to say it all, to get everything out in the open before it eats away at him until he breaks.

“Even if the demon isn’t my fault, Jocelyn’s death is,” Alec insists, but his tone isn’t defiant - it’s sad and full of such deep, aching guilt.

“Alec, it isn’t-”

“Yes, it is,” Alec repeats, the words starting to flow before he can stop them. He needs to say it. He needs to let somebody know, so they can hate him for it as much as he hates himself. “The demon didn’t just pick the first random target that passed by me. It fed off negative emotions… it targeted Jocelyn because of me - because of the resentment I felt over her being the reason Clary showed up and started to ruin everything. Jace going behind my back, everything with Lydia, the cup, Izzy’s trial… it all started with Jocelyn’s disappearance. I resented her for all of it, but more than that...“ he hesitates here, but it isn’t as if he can take it back now, and this last part is just as important to admit. “I hated her for shooting at Jace that night, and for all the pain she’s caused him.”

Yes, he was possessed, and no, he wasn’t in full control of his own actions or mind… but it was his thoughts, his feelings, that drove the demon to pick Jocelyn out of everyone else in the Institute. Alec isn’t sure how he’s supposed to live with that knowledge for the rest of his life.

“Alec..” Magnus shifts on the sofa to face him fully now, moving closer with his arms slightly outstretched, palms up as he waits to see if Alec would welcome the touch of a hug just then. It’s such a gentle consideration that Alec doesn’t believe he deserves, and the kindness leaves unexpected tears stinging his eyes.

“I swear I didn’t want her dead, Magnus. No matter what I felt, I would never-”

Magnus closes the space between them before Alec can say another word, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Alec doesn’t bother to fight it - he’s too tired to do anything other than lean into the embrace, letting out a shuddering breath before that breath gives way to several heaving sobs.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Alec says, repeating it over and over despite Magnus’ muffled reassurances that it’s okay. It isn’t okay, everything is so far from okay, but it’s nice to hear just the same. After a confession like that, the fact that Magnus is still there at all and not turning away in disgust or running in the other direction really means something to Alec. It’s significant.

Magnus doesn’t hate him for it, and it’s the first time Alec allows himself to humor the idea that there’s a chance the others might not either, no matter what he thinks he deserves.

“I’m sorry,” Alec says again, not sure anymore if he’s apologizing for crying, or for dumping all of this on Magnus, or for what happened with Jocelyn.

“I know you are,” Magnus says, running soothing hands up and down Alec’s back and arms. “And so does everyone else.”

Sorry isn’t nearly enough, but neither is anything else he can think to say or do. It might be the best he has to offer at the moment. It’s certainly better than nothing… and Clary deserves better than the nothing he’s given her since the demon was killed.

Reluctantly, Alec pulls himself away from Magnus. “I should go back.”

“Are you sure? You can wait here as long as you need,” Magnus offers.

Alec nods. “Yeah, I’m sure. You were right earlier, you know. I ran because there is no way for me to make this right, not really, and I didn’t know what to do with that. But just because I can’t fix it doesn’t mean I get to freeze up and do nothing instead.”

Magnus nods, a small smile on his face. “You’re a good man, Alexander. And don’t you dare tell me you aren’t-” Magnus adds quickly, just as Alec opens his mouth to argue. Alec closes his mouth again, rolling his eyes slightly.

“Thank you, Magnus.” Alec leans in and gives Magnus a short, chaste kiss, before heading back to the Institute to face whatever comes next.

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters #the coda fics continueeeeeeee #though this one is another expanded scene because apparently i'm a sucker for them #long post #elle writes a few deadbeat lines #elle talks too much

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doc-pickles · 3 years

Text

does it ever drive you crazy, just how fast the night changes

Alex comes back to the loft to see Jo but is met with more than he bargained for.

so i wrote a thing.... i know I've said a million times that I wouldn't write a birth scene but uhhhhh here we are. anyways enjoy... or don't... xoxo nina

It’s dark and stormy outside as Alex approaches the loft, the Seattle winds whipping around him as he jogs up the stairs. The route is familiar, one he’s walked a thousand times before, but it feels different this time. He pauses outside the door, wondering if he should actually knock or not. Finally, he does, knocking twice before stepping back and waiting for Jo’s answer. Her car was parked out front, meaning she was at home and not at the hospital. He knocks a second time, thinking maybe the thunder has made it hard to hear.

“Jo? You home?”

There’s a pause and some shuffling before Jo’s voice floats towards him, “Alex?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” Alex lets out a sigh, leaning his head against the door. “I know you probably don’t want to see me.” “You're right.”

“But I drove all the way from Kansas and I’d really like to see you,” there’s more silence from the other side of the door as thunder rumbles overhead. “You still there?”

“Yeah I’m here,” her voice sounds strained as Alex listens intently. “You left me, what are you doing here now?”

Alex lets out a heavy sigh. He knew she would ask why he had come back after over half a year away but he still didn't feel like his answer justified any of his actions, “Because I messed up Jo. I never should have left, I should’ve told you as soon as I found out about the twins. I should have given you a say in our divorce. There’s a lot of mistakes I made but leaving you was the biggest one.”

“Alex…,” even through the barrier between them Alex can tell that Jo is crying,

“I just realized that while I love being a dad I didn’t want to do that without you by my side,” Alex can hear Jo let out a sob as he leans closer to the door. “Will you let me in please?”

“I’m still mad at you,” Jo clarified.

“I know.”

“The power has been out for three hours and the phone lines are down because of the storm,” Alex can hear Jo unlocking the door, his heart racing. “I haven’t been able to call anyone.”

“Why does-”

“Just… Don’t be mad at me, okay?”

The door finally slides open and Jo and Alex are face to face for the first time in seven months.

“Hi.”

Alex could barely make out Jo’s face with the lack of light but she immediately reaches for his hands, squeezing tightly, “Jesus Christ Jo! What the hell?”

Jo doesn’t answer straight away, doubled over in pain as she lets out a groan, “Just shut up, I’m trying to count and you’re distracting me.” “Count what,” Alex’s question is answered as Jo stands up, taking a step towards him. “Oh… That’s what.”

From the small amount of light in the hallway Alex can clearly see Jo, her eyes wide and questioning as she looks up at him. His eyes drift from her face down her body and rest on her protruding stomach.

“I’ve been in labor for hours but I couldn't call anyone because of the storm,” Jo bites her lip, blinking back tears. “I just figured I could deliver her myself but you showed up right on time.”

Alex only hesitates for a moment before jumping into action as if he’s been preparing for this for nine months and not mere minutes.

“How far apart are your contractions?”

“Six minutes, they have been for almost an hour.”

“Do you have a bag packed?” “In my car.”

Alex makes quick work of grabbing Jo’s keys and locking up the loft before helping Jo downstairs and into the car. They ride in silence for a few minutes before Jo finally speaks up.

“I’m sorry.”

Alex glances over at Jo for a second, watching as she traces her fingers across her stomach, “What could you possibly have to be sorry for?”

“I never called you. I’ve had the better part of seven months to call and tell you,” Jo chokes the words out as a swell of tears forms in her eyes “I knew how you felt about Izzie keeping your kids from you and I was just going to do the same thing. I was ready to raise our daughter alone because I was mad you left! I’m already a terrible mother.”

“You're not a terrible mom Jo,” Alex reaches his hand out to grab Jo’s, squeezing tightly. “And I’m not mad at you.” “You’re not?”

“Of course not,” Alex parks in front of Grey Sloan, killing the engine and turning to Jo. “I know we have a lot to talk about but I think we have more important things to worry about right now.”

Jo nods, taking Alex’s hand that’s reached out towards her. She follows him silently towards the entrance of the hospital, stopping just short of the sliding doors.

“Are you having a contraction?”

Jo shakes her head, pulling Alex closer to her as she stares up at him, “Are you really back? You’re not leaving again?”

“Not without you two. I can’t miss any more of this,” Alex places his hand against Jo’s on her belly, the other one coming up to cup her cheek. “When I said leaving Seattle was my biggest mistake I meant it, baby or not. Leaving you is my biggest regret.”

Without an ounce of hesitation, Jo leans up and presses her lips to Alex’s, a chaste kiss as rain continues to fall around them. Jo pulls back after a moment, leaning her head against Alex as she lets out a groan.

“Let’s get you inside, those have been getting closer.”

Given the storm and the fact that it was almost midnight, they make it to the L&D floor with ease. Carina’s brows furrow as soon as she sees Jo, a reprimand hot on her lips, “Jo you should be at home resting, you’re not on call tonight.” A gasp leaves Carina as she notices Alex standing next to Jo, “Oh! You finally called him?”

“No he just has impeccable timing,” Jo squeezes her eyes shut, leaning forward onto her knees. “My contractions are four minutes apart and I was dilated to an 8 when I checked an hour ago.”

Both Carina and Alex stare at Jo with wide eyes at her revelation. Alex knows she can handle pain well, but he wouldn’t have guessed she was so far along in her labor.

“You should’ve been here hours ago,” Carina chastises as she waves over one of the nurses on the floor. “Can you get Doctor Karev settled in room six?”

“You kept your last name,” there’s a tone of surprise to his voice as Alex settles his hand on Jo’s back, following the nurse down the hall. “I didn’t think you would.”

“I didn’t want to have a different last name than the baby,” Jo shrugs as she takes the hospital gown that the nurse has offered her, slipping into the bathroom to change into it. “And I might have forgotten to file the divorce papers.”

Alex is about to respond when Jo lets out a startled gasp followed by the sound of liquid hitting the floor. Jo waddles out of the bathroom, eyes wide as she and Alex stare silently at each other.

“Was that..?”

“I need to push,” Jo takes a few steps forward, leaning over the hospital bed as she let out a loud groan. “That’s a lot of pressure.” “Let me get Carina.”

“Don’t leave unless you want to miss your daughter being born,” Jo reaches her hand out to stop Alex from leaving, grabbing his hand in her own and squeezing it tightly as she let out a loud groan. “Oh god, you weren’t kidding about the big head thing.”

“No, I wasn’t,” Alex rests his hand against Jo’s back, applying pressure as she let out another pained noise. “What can I do for you?” “Catch.”

Alex moves quickly, barely catching their daughter as Jo gives one final push. Carina walks in then, a chuckle escaping her as she helps Jo knot the bed, “Looks like you started without me. How’s the bambina doing papa?”

“She’s perfect,” Alex lets out a wet laugh as he cradles the baby in his arms, a small cry sounding from her. “She’s absolutely perfect.”

“I don’t have a name picked out.”

Alex looks up from the sleeping baby in his arms to Jo who’s just woken up, “Why not?”

“Nothing sounded right,” Jo shrugs, concentrating on her fingers. Alex notices the silver band on her left hand that she’s twirling around nervously. Her wedding band sparkles under the fluorescent lights of the hospital room despite the missing engagement ring it usually sat with. “It didn’t feel right to pick something so important without you.”

“Jo-”

“Not calling you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Every single day since I read that letter I’ve wanted to call you, even more so after I found out I was pregnant,” Jo swipes at the tears collecting on her cheek and it takes everything in Alex to not lean forward and wipe them away himself. “But you left Alex and you never even asked me how I felt.” “I would’ve hopped on the first flight back if you called.” Jo throws her hands up in exasperation, “I didn’t want you to come back just because we have a baby together!”

“It never would have been about that Jo! I love you!”

“Then why? If you love me why did you leave me?”

“Because I was scared,” the baby in his arms stirs but Alex quiets her quickly, lowering his voice when he speaks again. “I was terrified of being a shitty dad and losing you and my kids at the same time. I didn’t want to hurt you, Jo, I never have, but I thought one painful goodbye would be better than months of arguing and heartache and watching the life we created crumble into pieces. I didn’t want that for us, I couldn’t ruin us like that. I wanted to protect you but I ended up hurting both of us in the process and hurting this little one too. I’m sorry Jo, neither of you deserve this. I just ended up becoming the shitty dad and husband I was trying so hard not to be.”

The room is silent as Alex keeps his eyes on the sleeping baby in his arms, not wanting to look at Jo just yet. When he finally does, she has tears running down her cheeks, “Jo I-”

“Come here.”

“Are you gonna hit me?”

“No you idiot, I want to kiss you,” Jo let out a laugh, wiping at her eyes again. “I missed you so much.”

Alex squeezes in next to Jo, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pressing a kiss to her forehead, “What about Juliet?”

“Mmm she does kind of look like a Juliet,” Jo runs her finger across the newborn’s cheek. “How about Juliet Alexandra?”

“I already have one kid named after me, I don’t need another. Besides,” Alex grins as he leans down to press a kiss to Jo’s lips. “You did all the heavy lifting on this one. What about Juliet Brooke?”

Jo silently nods, settling easily into Alex’s embrace as they both stared adoringly at their daughter, “Perfect. Welcome to the world Juliet Brooke Karev. We love you so much already.”

#jolex #jolex fanfiction #jolex babies #jolex fanfic #jo x alex #jo wilson #jo karev #alex karev #grey’s anatomy #grey’s anatomy fanfic #nina writes

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angstysebfan · 3 years

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Ok a request? Lemme think! Hmmmm, ok. How about “reader and Seb have been dating for a while but Seb is getting a little distant. Reader overhears a conversation Seb has with Mackie about all these nasty things about her, it breaks reader’s heart and it makes her go home and move back to her old apartment. She confides in her best friend, Tom Hiddleston, and he helps her boost her self esteem and with having fun again, like a good friend. When Seb finds out, he becomes a jelly boi, confronts them when he sees pictures of them together and Hiddleston isn’t having it.” You can do whatever with the ending. I trust you ❤️

Oh boy this one is going to hurt me. Even though a lot of people are mad at Seb and he has been acting like a douche canoe, I still love him...

Is It Too Late?

You lie on your bed staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours. A lot of different things going through your mind at once, and all of them about your current relationship. You have been dating Sebastian for about 3 years, and for most of it, it has been absolutely amazing. He has an actor and have to travel the world to film, while you are just your everyday average girl, but you both always made it work. You met him through your best friend, Tom Hiddleston, who is also an actor.

You noticed over the last 5-6 months, Seb has been very distant. You don’t understand what happened, but you are worried that he might be losing interest in you, or cheating. I mean when you compare yourself to the women he had before, and the ones that throw themselves at him, you could understand why you don’t measure up.

With a sigh, you get up from the bed to go in search of your boyfriend. Maybe he doesn’t realize what he is doing, and with a little heart to heart, things will get better, hopefully. You go to walk into his office when you hear him laugh and speak in hushed tones. You peek in and see that he is on the phone and go to step away when you overhear what he says, “I don’t know Anthony, I’m just over her. She is so needy and whiny. I mean if she was gorgeous I would ignore it, but she isn’t. I just don’t think I can handle this with her anymore, ya know?” he says.

You cover your mouth with your hand, in hopes of covering up the gasp. Tears immediately form in your eyes as you turn and run back into the bedroom. You force yourself to calm down after letting a few tears fall. You quickly grab your suitcase and start clearing your things out of the apartment. Seb continues his conversation, not realizing what is happening. Once you are done collecting everything, you put it all by the door for a quick escape.

You walk into the office, as Seb is still on the phone. You stand in front of him with your arms crossed, looking none too pleased. Seb looks at you with furrowed brows of confusion. “Hey Anthony, let me call you back,” he says before hanging up. “What’s wrong?” he asks innocently. You have to fight the urge to roll your eyes, “I just wanted to say goodbye,” you say.

His eyebrows shoot up in shock, “Goodbye? Goodbye as in you are going out and will be back later, or goodbye as in goodbye?” he asks standing up. You look into his blue eyes and see an expression you haven’t seen in awhile, nervousness. “Goodbye as in... I don’t know. I have to think about things and I think it’s better if I’m away from you,” you say.

You are proud of how strong your sounding, considering you are falling apart inside. Sebastian walks around his desk, “Is everything ok?” he asks softly, reaching out to you. You step away from his hand, which you see shocks him again. “I just think you need more than a needy, whiny ugly girlfriend, so maybe we should just call this what it is. You have been distant for awhile and it’s obvious you fell out of love with me, so I am giving you your out,” you say as tears form.

“I-- No, Y/N, wait please! Let me explain, please!” Seb pleads with you as you back away from him. “I heard you. I don’t need you to make up some stupid ass lie or excuse. I’m leaving,” you say as you turn around. Seb follows you out to his front door, begging you to stop and listen to him. You pick up your stuff and without sparing a glance you walk out of his apartment.

It’s been a few days since you went back to your old apartment. Everything that you brought from Sebastian’s continues to sit by your front door where you dropped them. He has called you multiple times, along with millions of texts, all that you have ignored. When your phone rings again, you go to throw it when you see it is not Sebastian who is calling, but Tom.

“Tom?” you answer through your tears. It takes no time for him to come to your apartment and hold you while you cry. He packed a bag to stay with you for as long as you need him, and while you finally fall asleep, he starts to clean your apartment and order your favorite food. He calls Sebastian to give him a piece of his mind as well. The conversation is short and to the point, and it finally makes Sebastian stop reaching out to you.

Over the next several days, Tom holds you while you sleep, and constantly tells you how amazing, and beautiful you are. You have a hard time believing him, though, but he just keeps reassuring you. It takes awhile, but he finally gets you to smile and laugh again, which feels really good. Over time you both start going out into the world and having fun, whether at bars, clubs, museums, or anywhere else that will put a smile on your face. You are so grateful for your best friend.

Seb sighs as he runs his hands through his hair in frustration. it’s been too long since you left, and he hasn’t been able to reach you. He thought giving you some space might calm you down enough so that you can talk. The hurt he saw in your eyes haunts his dreams, more like nightmares. Every night it’s the same thing; you leaving without him explaining that he wasn’t you he was talking about. He knows he became distant, but it wasn’t for what you thought. When Tom called him screaming, he tried to again explain, but Tom wouldn’t hear him out. He has tried to call Tom again, but he won’t answer his calls either.

He looks at the picture on his phone of you and Tom dancing together at the club. You never wanted to go to the club when you were with him, at least he didn’t think you did. He looks at how happy Tom makes you, and he wonders if Tom is keeping you away from him so he can be with you. Does he hold you tightly at night. Does he kiss your soft lips every day? Does he tell you that he loves you more than anything?

Seb reaches into his desk drawer and pulls out the velvet box. The reason he was distant was because he didn’t want to give away the surprise. He wanted to marry you, but now he has no way of telling you. Sebastian sighs and looks at the diamond ring before standing up. “Fuck this, I’m not giving up without a fight!” He says to himself before walking out of his apartment toward yours.

When you opened the door to frantic knocks, your heart and stomach dropped. There is a very disheveled and out of breath Sebastian. “Y/N. I know you think I was talking about you, but I wasn’t. I’m so sorry I was distant from you, but it was because...” Sebastian got down on one knee causing you to gasp, “Y/N L/N I love you more than anything in the whole world. Will you please consider talking to me so I can explain and then hopefully marry me?” he asks as he shows you the big diamond.

At this point Tom walked into the room to see what was happening. “Let him have his say Y/N,” he says when he sees you hesitate. You turn and look at him for a moment before turning back toward Seb and nod. Sebastian released the breath he was holding and stood up, following you into your living room. He nods at Tom, who smirks and leaves you two alone.

“Seb, I know what I heard that day,” you say sadly, looking at your hands. Seb slowly put his hand on top of yours, seeing what your response was. When you didn’t pull back, he sat closer to you and continued to hold your hands, “Y/N, I know with me being distant, it sounded like I was talking about you, but I wasn’t. Anthony and I were talking about one of the crew on our show. She has a huge crush on me and is very needy and whiny around me. She tries to get my attention--” “So if she was gorgeous you would give her a chance?” you said sternly, interrupting him.

“No! That comment was a stupid inside joke that I regret immediately. She likes to tell everyone that she thinks everything is gorgeous, and she is gorgeous, so I said it to make fun of her. I want nothing to do with her. I only want you! I love you, Y/N! You’re it for me, baby! I want nothing more than to marry you and be with you forever,” he says.

You are crying at this point, not sure who to believe. “Y/N...” you hear Tom say. You turn and look at him, “I spoke with Anthony and he confirmed everything Sebastian said,” he says. Seb looked at Tom with a relieved and appreciative smile. You look at Seb, “Ask me,” you say. Seb’s breath hitches, “Are-are you sure?” he asks. You nod and he laughs, again getting down on one knee.

“Y/N, will you please put us out of the misery I caused and marry me?” he asks. You look at him and a smile slowly makes its way to your lips.

“Yes.”

Hope you liked it. I played with different version of the ending or how I wanted Seb to act, and this is how it worked out. lol

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#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #seb

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genork-the-fandork · 3 years

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As an add on to the playlists I created for this particular day, I also wanted to do some writing for the 01 kids as well.

For those who don’t know, I love the Digimon Adventure tri. character songs. (I even did a full blown analysis of the lyrics.) So I decided to do some short one shots featuring a lyric from each kid’s character song.

You can find the songs here in case you haven’t heard them. I found the English translations on Wikimon.

I hope you enjoy! <3

Tai

"If you get lost, I want you to hold my two hands"

Agumon hadn't made it home yet. Tai was starting to get worried about the little Digimon, so he grabbed his coat and went to look for him.

As he looked in the usual places (namely, food stands and shops), he was reminded of a time when he and Kari were little. They'd gone to play hide and seek in the park, and Kari had hidden so well Tai had been looking for her for over an hour. By the time he'd found her, she was crying because she had gotten herself lost and didn't know how to get back to him. He'd had to hold both of her hands and lead her back to where their mom was waiting.

Not that he expected Agumon to be sobbing, but he hoped he would at least find him before he got hurt.

It didn't take long. In the same park Tai had once found Kari in, he found Agumon, kicking his feet back and forth as he sat on a bench. "What took you so long, Tai?" he said, the long-forgotten wrappers of crepes and candies resting beside him.

"There was no telling where you were, buddy," Tai shot back, gently rubbing his knuckles into Agumon's head.

The Digimon laughed and hopped off the bench, gathering up his trash to throw out. "I got lost, but I knew you'd find me, Tai. You always do."

Tai smiled. "I guess I do."

Even though he didn't need it, Agumon held Tai's hand all the way home.

Matt

"The seasons continue to change and we become adults"

"When did we become adults?" Tai complained, his legs draped over the back of the couch.

"About the same time we started college, I'm pretty sure," Matt quipped from where he sat on the carpet, staring out the window. He glanced over at his best friend, who looked put out by this answer. "Has it gotten through your thick skull yet?"

"You're one to talk," Tai muttered, folding his arms behind his head and closing his eyes. "I can't accept it if I refuse to believe it."

"Yeah, yeah." Matt shifted his gaze to stare out at the sunset. His hand lifted and aimlessly searched for Gabumon's head. He'd taken to petting the Digimon's head like this whenever he was deep in thought. The contact kept him grounded; he had no fear of flying away whenever he did this.

"I think it was that summer," Matt finally said, his hand stilling on Gabumon's head. Gabumon looked over at him, immediately understanding his meaning.

"Which summer?" Tai asked. "In case you forgot, there have been many. Nearly ten now."

Matt chuckled wryly. "That summer. Ordinemon."

He didn't have to look to see Tai's eyes turn sad. Matt made it a general rule not to mention Ordinemon in front of his best friend, if only because it reminded him of Nishijima. But he could tell by Tai's silence that he agreed.

Matt murmured, "The seasons kept changing, but we'd already grown up."

They both kind of hated how right the sentiment was.

Sora

"It's alright, my feelings for you will last forever"

Sora sighed at the mess before her. "Biyomon…"

"Sorry, Sora," her partner said meekly, almost shrinking into herself as she refused to meet Sora's eyes.

It was hard to be mad at a Digimon who looked so adorable when remorseful. Sora's mouth quirked up on one side as she crouched down and patted the top of Biyomon's head. "How about you help me clean this up?"

"Okay!" the bird Digimon agreed.

They worked together to clean up the mess Biyomon had accidentally made, humming along to some song they couldn't name as they did so. Despite her occasional clumsiness, Biyomon was quite adept at cleaning up messes. It made Sora thankful to have her around; an extra pair of hands—er, wings—came in handy.

When they were finished, Sora collapsed on a chair. She was suddenly exhausted, and she couldn't really pinpoint why. Maybe she was a tad overwhelmed from all the cleaning she'd done all day, and all the cleaning she had a feeling she'd be doing the rest of the day. Whatever it was, she just needed a moment to sit.

Concerned, Biyomon nervously approached her. "Sora," she began, "you're not mad at me… are you?"

Sora's eyes opened to meet those of her Digimon partner, so wide with worry. "Of course not. What would make you think that?"

"Well… you've just been so tired lately. I thought maybe you'd be mad that I made a mess again…"

"Oh, Biyomon," Sora sighed, folding her Digimon into her arms. "I hope you know I could never stay mad at you. I love you too much."

There was a relieved chirp in her voice as Biyomon said, "And I love you, too, Sora!"

Those three words lifted a good part of the exhaustion from Sora's shoulder.

Izzy

"That fragment of memory I made has disappeared"

Izzy frowned. He lightly placed his fingers on his temple and forehead, trying to pinpoint the sinking feeling in his stomach and the uneasy feeling in his heart. It wasn't a headache, surely, despite him holding his head. And he was fairly sure he didn't have a cold. So what was so wrong?

"What's wrong, Izzy?"

The words weren't coming to him to explain to Tentomon what was wrong. His Digimon buzzed his head, asking him rapid fire questions about his health. He didn't answer any of them, so focused was he on figuring out what was wrong.

"I… forgot."

"Forgot what?" the Digimon asked in surprise.

Looking up at Tentomon, Izzy murmured, "I forgot the first joke of yours I laughed at."

Tentomon landed on the ground and placed a gentle claw on Izzy's lap. "That's it?"

There were tears on his face now, and Izzy had no recollection of shedding them. "It was one of my favorite memories of the time we met."

"Oh, Izzy," Tentomon said fondly, reaching up to pat his cheek. "I'll tell you all the jokes you want."

"I'm sorry," Izzy whispered, leaning forward to wrap his arms around the Digimon. "I didn't want to forget any of that."

"We'll make new memories for as long as we're together," Tentomon reassured him. "That's a promise from Digimon to human."

"Thank you."

Tentomon held Izzy until the pain of losing such a fond memory has faded along with the tears.

Mimi

"I do not want to forget that it happened"

Mimi hummed to herself as she finished stringing the beads on the cord on her desk. Three similar bracelets sat on the right corner of the desk, their beads glinting in the faint sunlight streaming through the window.

"Whatcha doing, Mimi?" Palmon's voice asked from behind her.

"Making bracelets to honor our friends," Mimi declared, sticking her tongue out of the corner of her mouth as she finished the knot to tie the bracelet together. "There. Wizardmon, Pixiemon, Whamon, and Chuumon are done. Leomon is next."

"But Mimi," Palmon asked, peeking her head over the desk. "Why are you making them?"

"Because they sacrificed themselves to help us, all those years ago. I wasn't sure how to honor them until now."

Palmon blinked, still not understanding. "But… many of them were reborn, Mimi."

Her hands stilled for a moment. Her determined face melted into a sad one. "I know, Palmon." She turned to her Digimon partner and gave her a weak smile. "But I don't want to forget what they did for us just because they got a second chance."

"Oh, Mimi," Palmon sighed, wrapping her arms around Mimi's middle. "You have such a big heart."

"It's not much," Mimi admitted, stroking Palmon's flower. "But I want to keep their memory alive somehow. It's the least I can do."

"Then let me help you," Palmon decided, and Mimi smiled and nodded.

By the time they were done, Mimi had an entire rainbow of bracelets dedicated to their fallen comrades.

Joe

"I sincerely want the strength to protect you, too"

Joe woke up once again to a breakfast tray sitting on his nightstand. Gomamon had surely left it for him, as he had been doing for the past week. He'd been pulling constant all-nighters and late study sessions to cram for his exams again. If his Digimon partner hadn't looked so happy to help, he would've felt bad for constantly putting the little guy out.

It was one of those days where he realized just how much he loved his Digimon.

Yawning, Joe ate the breakfast Gomamon had gotten for him, wondering what was the best way to thank him. That was when he heard the crash in the kitchen.

"Gomamon?" he called, racing out of his room to see what the noise was all about.

The seal-like Digimon crawled out from behind the kitchen counter, favoring one flipper-like paw. "I'm alright, Joe. You have studying to do, right?" he asked, trying, and failing, to mask the pain in his voice.

"Let me see," Joe insisted, holding out his hand.

With a sigh, Gomamon handed him his paw, and Joe's face fell when he saw the cut. "Hold on." From the bathroom, he fetched gauze and some medical tape to wrap the wound. "Oh, Gomamon, I'm so sorry. This wouldn't have happened if I wasn't so tired—"

"Joe, stop, this isn't your fault," Gomamon interrupted, staring up at his human partner and meeting Joe's desperate gaze. "I was clumsy. That's not your fault."

"I know, but…" Joe paused in wrapping Gomamon's paw. He whispered, "But I want to be helpful to you, too. Just like you are to me."

"Hey," Gomamon said, and Joe looked down at him again. The Digimon was grinning. "What are partners for, Joe? Is it so wrong for me to take care of you?"

"Only if I never get to return the favor," Joe teased, pulling Gomamon into a hug. "You better not scare me again like that, okay?"

"Sure thing, Joe," Gomamon laughed.

For the rest of the day, Joe carried Gomamon on his back so he wouldn't strain his paw. Gomamon told him it was very "doctorly" of him to do so.

T.K.

"What is important to me is right here"

"T.K.?"

"Hm?" T.K. looked up from his book to Patamon, who was flapping nervously above his head. "What's up, Patamon?"

"Don't you have a date today?" the little Digimon asked, looking very concerned about the shift in what was usually a very hectic social schedule.

A smile spread across T.K.'s face. "I canceled it. I didn't feel like going today."

"Is that okay?"' Patamon landed on the couch beside T.K., placing his front paws on his lap and staring up at him. "Are you sure she won't be mad?"

"I told her I had something more important to do," T.K. said cryptically, looking back down at his book.

"Oh? And what's that?"

Patamon yelped as T.K. suddenly wrapped him up in his arms, pressing his face into the Digimon's back.

"You silly," T.K. laughed good-naturedly. "Spending time with you is more important."

The Digimon blushed a tiny bit. "R-really?"

"Of course. You're my best friend," T.K. said, hugging him tighter. "Now, how about I read to you?"

"Or we can go get ice cream!"

T.K. laughed out loud. "Sure thing, Patamon," he said. "Anything for you."

Later, T.K. would remark that he had much more fun with Patamon than he would have had with anyone else that day.

Kari

"A shadow of the tears you've shed remains"

Gatomon had been silent all day. Kari was used to this from her by now. Some days they would sit in comfortable silence, staring out the window at nothing in particular or watching something nonsensical on the television. It was par for the course at this point in their lives, but that didn't mean that Kari was sometimes concerned about how sad Gatomon would look on these silent days.

To others, the cat Digimon didn't look any different. But Kari could tell from the look in her eyes, from the way she brushed one paw over the other, from the way her tail swished in a particular fashion, that she was sad. And she had a feeling she knew what it was about.

Today had been one of the more silent days. Gatomon had barely acknowledged Kari's presence all day. That's how Kari knew it was one of the bad ones. Normally, she would have left Gatomon alone to not disturb her.

But there were tears running down her partner's face, and she couldn't let them stay there.

Without warning, Kari scooped Gatomon into her arms and embraced her, cradling her as she would the family cat, waiting until the sniffles and warm tears stopped falling onto her shoulder. "Wizardmon," Gatomon mewled at one point, and Kari felt her own eyes prick with tears. Of course. Neither of them had ever truly gotten over it.

"It's okay," Kari murmured, pressing her face into Gatomon's fur. "I'm here."

Yes, it was certainly one of those days. One of those days where they mourned together for the friend who'd given himself for them. A friend who had been there for Gatomon where Kari hadn't yet been.

Yet, as Kari had assured Gatomon multiple times since that day, in the middle of the night after a shared nightmare, she wasn't going anywhere. And she never would, so long as they were together.

#digimon #digiweek2021 #gen writes #digiweek day 3 #digimon drabble #digimon one shots #some of these got angsty sorry a;sljkdf;asjd #i made myself cry as punishment asd;lfjkasd;fa

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