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bonezone44 · 4 months

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'Doesn't Nothing Ever Last Forever?' (18+)

Raider!Joel x afab!Reader

Word Count: 5,4k

(FYI: woman in moodboard is a side character.)

Summary: You worked in a brothel outside of a quarantine zone. Every once in a while, you got a visit from Joel and his men. This was your first time being around for one of those visits. (Reader is severely depressed and bisexual [relatable, amiright?]. Reader is not popular at the brothel.)

tags: DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT (tagging this to be safe!) Kidnapping, sexual slavery, group sex, overstimulation, rough oral (m). POV switching, canon-typical violence. -- Sex between Reader and Joel is non-con. Reader enjoys it, but the larger context doesn't allow for consent. Fingering, unprotected p-in-v. Degradation. Finger-sucking. Spanking. Orgasm control/denial. Joel is turned on by Reader's history w/ women. Reader is called slut, good girl, bad girl. Reader calls Joel "sir."

A/N: Written for @iamasaddie's writing challenge. ✏ I was so excited by their moodboards, I had to participate. Also, read @toxicanonymity for the original Raider!Joel which heavily inspired this one. 🙏 And special thanks to @milla-frenchy for helping me choose a story line. 😘

story masterlist - main masterlist

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The days bled together, one right after the other. No matter how clear the skies were, a permanent fog had taken over your mind.

The only reason you woke up that evening was all the commotion. You heard the roar of diesel engines and loud men laughing and yelling. The slamming of car doors. Then those voices got louder and closer. Obviously, they had made their way inside your building. You knew you should rise and shine. Get to work. But you stayed curled up on your bed cushion in the shared room as long as possible. Even after your boss had been calling for you.

It wasn’t the kind of job you punched in and out of. You lived in a brothel. You were paid by the client–and even then sometimes all you got was a spare coin or two. A ration slip, if you were really lucky. But those could only be spent at the nearby Quarantine Zone. And the four hour trek there and back was hell on your feet and knees.

Your boss, Larry, finally opened the door to your room, but didn’t say anything. Instead, he allowed the noise and chaos to do the job of waking you up.

You unfurled from the floor and wandered to the bathrooms, bare fit sticking to the tile floors. You had hoped no one would catch you and make you work. You hadn’t had it in you to do anything that day. What you really wanted to do was float away, fly with the clouds on the wind to somewhere far, far over the rainbow.

You found Trisha at the sinks, under the sickly green lights, already washing cum from her hands.

“Joel and his crew are here again,” she mumbled. There was a tremor in her voice.

You nodded blankly. Tired.

She turned around and stared at you with wide eyes. “Joel,” she emphasized.

“Okay?” You shrugged. Your eyes bored into a growing mold stain in the corner.

She scoffed. “Joel is the guy who bought Carrie.”

“What?” … ‘Bought Carrie?’ That didn’t sound right to you. “I just thought… she left.”

Trisha stared at you, aghast. The room was cold, but steam began to fog the mirror. “Are you fucking kidding me? You were there!” She shouted. “You were there when Larry told us he sold her for the fucking water heater!” She pointed at the filling sink.

You blinked. “...Oh.” You wiped your eyes with your hands. “I don’t… really remember.” Her words didn’t quite click it into place for you, but a dull memory played in the back of your mind. You remembered a ‘house meeting’ and hearing Carrie’s name a lot. You remembered getting the water heater. You remembered everyone being upset and yelling at Larry. You remembered curling in the corner, your brain checking out and wandering through the static of your own mind rather than feeling something–anything–in your own body.

That explained all the weird looks you had gotten later when you expressed excitement over the hot water. You had been happy about something for once and everyone responded by staring at you like you were a freak.

But everyone you had ever met always felt so far away. Like you were so deep in the depths of your own mind that the world around you was a movie you were watching. All the people in your life were characters playing out their roles. So you did, too. You went through the daily motions, following some imaginary script in your mind. Playing a part. Doing whatever you thought you were supposed to.

Trisha started telling you more stories about Joel and his crew. About their violence. But none of it sounded real. It sounded like another movie to you. You stood, unmoving, wishing you had some bleach to clean the mold in the corner. You wanted to scrub the grout until it was pure again. Wipe away the layer of filmy mildew from the ceramic tiles. Disinfect every inch of porcelain in this piece of shit building.

Another woman entered the bathroom, fully nude. “Well, look who decided to show up!” she spat at you. “Go out there and do your job. I need a fucking break.”

You sighed and resigned yourself to your fate. “Okay,” you muttered without meeting her eyes. You didn’t bother looking in the mirror or worrying about your clothes. You knew that in your line of work, they didn’t make a difference either way.

You walked out to the main room and saw about a dozen men scattered around the couches, women in their laps or on their knees.

One woman was sitting naked in a guy’s lap while another guy roughly rubbed and slapped her clit. His laughter grossed you out. The woman was crying.

Another woman was getting facefucked and choking. She pulled back to cough and breathe. The man she was sucking on held himself in a tight grip. He pushed the hair from her face and whispered softly to her, wiping away her tears, before shoving his cock right back in.

You nodded at the scene unaffected… well, mostly unaffected. You stared into the middle distance and focused on no one person in particular. The women’s moans were mostly performative–it was obvious. But the men didn’t seem to mind. Their moans were hungry and horny, enjoying whatever stimulation they seemed to be receiving. So that was what you focused on. Their blatant sexual desire. It fueled your own heat. A fire expanding in your chest and between your legs. Your mouth began to water. You sucked in your bottom lip, eager to feel flesh inside you.

You weren’t sure how long you were standing there, watching. It merely occurred to you at some point that one of the men was walking up to you, blocking your view of the scene. He wore a dark brown leather jacket over a v-neck shirt. A small, shiny gold cross hung around his neck and against his sunburned skin. He wore blue jeans and work boots.

Your boss, Larry, yammered in one of your ears at him.

“Joel,” he pleaded with clasped hands. “I’m sure you’d prefer someone like Trisha or-or-or Cameron. I’m sure, she’ll be right back out any minute!”

“No,” Joel says gruffly. “Her,” he pointed to you with his chin.

“I’m sure. I’m sure.” Your boss chuckled uncomfortably and surrendered with empty palms. “Of course!” He grabbed you by the arm and tugged you toward the back of the building. He snarled in your ear. “Don’t fuck this up for me.”

You wanted to shrug him off, but his grip was bruising. What could you ‘fuck up’ exactly? You had been working there for over a year. You weren’t popular, but you got the job done. You didn’t get along with any of the other women there, but what did that have to do with this guy, Joel?

Larry took you and Joel to one of the farthest rooms. It was the nice one with a real bed instead of a mattress or cushion on the floor. You had never been in it before. Not even to clean it. You looked around appraising the paint on the walls. There was a window, but it was dark out. The noise from the main room was barely audible. You liked being somewhere quiet again.

#######

Joel and his crew pulled up around dinnertime in two pick-up trucks. The sun had set and the truck’s headlights bathed the front of the old office building in a warm, dull yellow.

The crickets were louder than hell that night. Joel remembered that much.

Not five seconds after his boys hopped out the trucks did the brothel owner come skittering out the front door with a nervous grin on his face.

Joel liked that. Piece o’ shit like that should be nervous.

Joel hated Larry. The man was fucking pathetic. Weasel-y. So needy and desperate to please. Joel hated that Larry sold him a woman for a water heater. What kinda man would do something like that? This was supposed to be a brothel. The women were supposed to be his employees. He didn’t have the right to sell anybody.

But Joel had wanted her. And taking her outright would have caused more problems than it would have solved. So he figured a water heater would help keep things peaceful between them. Because his boys liked the brothel. Each little trip helped ease their minds. Gave them something to talk about and look forward to–something other than survival.

Joel’s needs were more permanent. He needed something more full-time rather than once every few months.

His boys started hooting and hollering as soon as the payment of supplies were unloaded and they got to hang out inside. The women weren’t even around yet, but they were more than ready for some physical entertainment. Joel remained standing while the rest of them spread out along the decaying leather couches lining the walls. A shitty little cd player sat in the corner playing old R&B music. He heard his brother, Tommy, singing along to it.

Joel sighed and wiped his face with his hands.

Once Larry brought out a few women, the men started roaring. They were shouting and cheering, pulling their cocks out in excitement. Joel groaned. These boys didn’t know a goddamn thing about seducing a woman and their sad little dicks weren’t gonna get them anywhere neither.

Two of the guys grabbed one of the women, causing her to shout, but Joel was on them not a second later. He gripped their skulls, one in each of his giant hands, and knocked them together like coconut shells.

“Ouch! What the hell, man?” asked one of them, rubbing the sore spot on his head.

Joel shook his head with his eyes wide, boring into the depths of their souls. “Not until I say,” he spat.

They both tucked their heads under, murmuring. “Yes, Joel.” “Whatever you say, Joel.”

The woman got back in line while the boys sat down on the couch.

“I’m sure I’ve got a couple more on the way,” said Larry with a forced smile. “They’re just getting themselves cleaned up, I’m sure, after uh… after finishing dinner.”

Joel grunted. He knew what he wanted–knew what kind of woman he was looking for. And he was quick to realize that none of the women in the room were it. So he waved his hand and his men let loose.

Joel stood with his arms crossed and his back against the front door. He kept his eye on the two troublemakers. Kept his ear on Tommy. Tommy was a talker. He loved to chat up the working women as if he was in a bar back home in Texas and looking to find himself a girlfriend. Joel thought Tommy was being ridiculous—acting like the women could say ‘no’ and walk away. Like he had to put real effort in. It annoyed the hell out of Joel. He wanted his crew to have their fun and be done with it. Why did Tommy have to make it so complicated?

Joel was getting bored and antsy the longer he waited. He was feeling needy, too, with the rough sounds of sex filling the air around him. But he was hopeful, preferring to be patient. And if, in the end, there was no woman he wanted, he would pick one at random and blow off some steam. He would find a replacement some other time or start looking around at the nearest Quarantine Zone.

Then you walked in.

And at first, Joel was ready to shrug you off, too. Sure, you were attractive. But looks weren't everything. That's what got him in trouble with the last woman.

But something in your eyes changed as you scanned the room, taking in the sexual depravity. You didn't shrink in and shut down. You were turned on. He saw the way your chest rose and fell as your breaths shallowed and shortened. The way you chewed your bottom lip. The way you squirmed. That's what Joel needed. Someone as needy as him.

The brothel owner tried to dissuade him. Huh, Joel wanted to laugh. As if that asshole knew a goddamn thing about what Joel wanted–about what Joel needed.

“Take your clothes off ‘n get on the bed,” he ordered after slamming the door shut behind him. He liked how quickly you complied. He didn’t understand why you were so calm, though. He unbuckled his belt, releasing the pressure from his stomach and allowing himself some room to breathe. He let the buckle hang and it jingled as he stepped closer to the bed.

“All fours.”

Again, you complied swiftly and smoothly, facing the back wall.

He eyed you for any sores. Then he slipped his bare hand around the smooth curve of your ass and his fingertips prodded around your lips and entrance. You were already wet, he realized. He slid the edge of his fingers forward against your clit.

You moaned. Something fake and bland.

He pulled his hand away and slapped you on the ass. “Hey.” He grabbed you by the cheeks when you didn't immediately face him. Your eyes never met his. “Don't fuckin showboat me,” he warned.

“Okay,” you said flatly.

He didn’t like how detached you were. How unafraid. But he willed himself to be patient–the amount of wetness coating his fingers eased his anxiety. He continued to play with your folds as he asked questions.

He cleared his throat. “You like workin here?”

You shrugged. “It’s a job.”

“How long you been here?”

“About a year.”

Joel hummed. “I don’t remember you from last time.”

“Probably had the flu.”

“You got over it okay?”

“Mm-hmm,” you nodded, closing your eyes. You seemed to like it when he moved his thick fingers around you real slow. He liked that.

“You got anything else? Any diseases?”

You shook your head. “I don’t get a lot of men.”

Joel paused. “Why not?”

You shrugged. “I dunno. They like the other girls better.”

“Why’s that?”

You shrugged again. “They’re better at fakin it.”

Joel didn’t know how to feel about that answer. He continued to rub your clit, feeling you get slicker. “So what? You do handjobs, blowjobs?”

“Mostly.”

He noticed an uptick in the tone of your voice. “You like doin those?”

“If the guy is cute.”

He slid his fingers from your clit to your entrance to your other hole. He didn’t push in, only pressed against it, and you sighed. “What about this?” he asked, biting his lip. “You like gettin your ass played with?”

You hung your head and nodded. “If they do it right,” you said with another uptick in your tone.

Joel liked that. “Ever have a train run on ya?” He slid his fingers back to your clit.

“Yeah,” you answered with a whimper.

“You like it?”

Your breath hitched as Joel’s fingers sped up. “Been through worse.”

“Worse? Here?” Joel asked, wondering what could happen at a brothel that was worse than a gang-bang.

“No just… you know…” you sighed with pleasure. “--in general.”

Joel furrowed his brows. You were being honest with him. Too honest, in his opinion. But you were rolling your hips into his hand. And he didn’t want to make the same mistake twice.

He shoved two fingers inside of you without warning. Your body twitched and you moaned–and it was different this time. Quieter. Realer. Joel liked that. He didn’t mind taking his time to get you ready if he knew you would enjoy it.

“You like fuckin, huh?”

“Who doesn’t?” You snickered, pushing back into his thrusting hand.

Joel took a deep breath, maintaining his composure. But he knew then that he wanted you. That you were just what he needed and more.

#######

You liked this Joel guy. He took his time. He was asking you questions, trying to get to know you. You don’t remember the last time anyone had done that. …Well, maybe when you first started working there. Trisha and Carrie and a couple of the other women tried, but this felt different for some reason. Like it was leading somewhere. Like there was a promise at the end of it. Like maybe he really wanted to make you come and he wasn’t just there for himself.

And you liked his voice. It was smoky and deep. He had an accent like a cowboy. It was comforting, in a way.

And his fingers felt nice. He knew what he was doing. You couldn't remember the last time a guy got you that wet with just his hand.

Part of you felt a little hopeful. You thought you might finally get to have some fun like the other girls did. Most of the guys you got were ugly or just plain ol’ depressing. Another part of you couldn’t stop thinking about Carrie for some reason. You’re not sure why she kept coming up in your mind. You two never worked together. You barely knew her at all.

“You ever fuck the other women here?” Joel asked.

“Mm-hmm,” you hummed in proud affirmation. It even pulled a smile from you.

“What's that mean?”

You weren’t sure how you expected him to react. You weren’t sure why you answered that way. “It means… yeah,” you replied while embarrassment burned your cheeks. You had barely looked at him before, but now you really didn’t want to see his face.

“Yeah, you like fuckin women?” His voice turned breathy. You heard his buckle jingle and the slide of the zipper of his jeans.

It turned you on to know that he liked that. Some men hated it. Made you feel like shit for it. But man, this Joel guy was something else. It made you want more of him. More of his fingers. His voice. His skin. “Yeah,” you moaned and shoved yourself harder into his hands, thrusting his fingers deeper.

“So what? You lick their pussies? Rub your little cunts together?”

Your mouth hung open from his words. “yeah,” you said with a hot breath. He pulled his fingers from inside of you and drew circles on your clit. You started whimpering. You nodded your head as fire burned in your core and across your skin.

“That’s why you work here, huh? You got a needy little cunt?”

His fingers were moving so fast, the muscles in your legs were jumping and your toes were curling. “Uh-huh,” you moaned loud enough for your voice to echo around the bare room.

“That why you left the Q-Z? This slutty hole wasn’t get fucked enough?” His fingers slid back inside your entrance. You’re not sure how many he stuffed in, but it was more than before.

You nodded with a desperate moan, your right leg slapping the mattress beneath you in frustration. You needed more. His fingers, his words–they weren’t enough. Your body was hot and sparking and you needed-needed-needed. “Joel, please,” you begged, turning to face him, finally opening your eyes again. He was stroking himself and the sight of his cock made you drool.

“Whatchu need, sweetheart?” He asked and you could almost kill him for it.

“Please, please fuck me, Joel. Please.”

“Need it that bad, huh?” He kicked off his boots and shoved his pants all the way down to the floor.

You got out of the way as he crawled into the bed and sat up against the headboard.

“Come and get this cock, you fuckin slut,” he growled. One hand held his length while the other pulled you by the arm.

You were too hungry to notice how tightly he gripped you. You hovered over his lap as he lined himself up with your entrance. You stared at the curve of his lips on the way down, the mix of gray and brown hairs in his mustache. But there was white on his cheeks and chin. You briefly wondered how old he was. But you couldn’t bring yourself to get a good look at his face. Too busy melting from the pressure of his cock stretching your walls. Fuck, it felt good. You braced yourself on his firm, wide shoulders and brought your hips back up a few inches before sinking down on his length even further. You groaned and tucked your head into his neck.

#######

You started sucking on his neck and his hips began to thrust up into you.

“It ain’t enough that I’m stuffin your cunt?” he grunted. “You need me in your mouth, too?”

You moaned against his throat, sending goosebumps all over his skin. “Yeah,” you said through panting breaths, before latching back on, teeth and tongue digging into his muscle.

Joel liked you. He really liked you. You were wet and riding him just right. You weren’t mechanical about it, neither–like Joel was just another job to you. There was a sadness to you, sure. It was probably why you didn’t get a lot of men. Men wanted to forget their troubles at the brothel. Have some fun. They wanted the world outside to disappear with their cock inside a woman.

But Joel had tried that. And it hadn’t worked out so good.

So this time, he looked for someone different. Someone who would understand. Someone who would get why he needed to fuck and when and how he needed to fuck, too.

And you were telling him everything he needed to know. He was learning what you wanted and what you liked and what he could use to threaten you into compliance.

He pulled you away from his neck, not sure how he felt about being covered in hickeys. “Here,” Joel prodded your lips with his middle and ring finger. “Suck on this, you greedy little slut.”

And you did, moaning desperately as you rolled your hips in his lap. You gagged as he slid his fingers back and forth on your tongue, saliva spilling from the edges of your lips and down your chin. Your eyes were closed and he knew there was nothing going on in your mind. He knew you were focused on nothing but how good he was making you feel.

You started bouncing on his cock and he slapped your ass with his free hand. He gripped your hip hard enough to bruise, forcing you to stop.

“Did I say you could do that?”

Your eyes popped open–meeting his directly. You tried to pull your head away to answer, but Joel shoved his fingers in even further.

He repeated himself. “You tryin to come right now? Did I say you could?”

You let out a pathetic whine and shook your head.

He slapped your ass again and this time he noticed your pussy clench around him. He heard a small moan grow and die in your throat. “You come when I fuckin say you can come,” he snarled with his teeth clenched. He smacked your asscheek again and thrust up into you.

You whimpered and squeezed your eyes shut.

“That turn you on?” He gripped your ass in his hand. “You like takin’ your medicine, bad girl?”

You tried to turn your head, but Joel still had his fingers in your mouth and he held you in place. You looked at him with the most pathetic, pleading look.

“I asked you a question,” Joel growled with wide eyes. His cock twitched inside of you. “You like takin’ your medicine? You like bein told what to do?”

You squeezed your eyes shut again and quietly nodded.

Joel liked that. He liked that a lot. He took his fingers from your mouth and gripped your cheeks. Your eyes popped open again. He licked his lips. “You be a good girl and make me come first, then we’ll see what you get, okay?”

You nodded.

“Now what do you say?”

Your brows furrowed.

“When I tell you what to do, what do you say?”

Your face softened. You blinked slowly before answering. “Yes, sir.”

“That’s right.” Joel grunted and thrusted his hips. “Now, make me come, you little slut.” His fingers dug into your own hips to guide your rhythm to what he wanted. “Make me come and we’ll see what you get.”

“Yes, sir. Yes, sir,” you murmured again and again.

Your warm, wet cunt sucked him in and stroked him. He could hear it, too, how drippy and turned on you were. It wasn’t long before he tossed you off him with a grunt, throwing you onto your back on the bed. He only fisted his cock twice before shooting his spend on your spread open pussy, on the hair on your mound. He wiped his cum down and around on your clit. “Come on, girl. You can come now. Come on,” he chanted. He rubbed your clit back and forth with the flat of his four fingers. “Give that greedy little cunt what it needs. Come on.”

Your body curled in as you orgasmed and you moaned loudly into your arm. Joel didn’t see the need for you to be quiet, but it was too late to do anything about it now. He rubbed you with his thumb until your legs clasped shut and you squirmed away.

He wiped his hands on the sheets and got up from the bed. He pulled his jeans back on, but waited to buckle his belt. He sat back down and put his shoes on.

You were still lying where he left you. Curled up in the fetal position. It almost looked like you were falling asleep. He figured you might as well rest up now. The drive back home was a bumpy one.

He sighed when he stood up. He figured he should get the liquor bottles out of the truck sooner than later. He huffed. Larry was a real piece of shit for trading a woman for liquor. But Joel wanted you. And he was gonna have you.

#######

You were reeling. Sexually, you were satisfied, but every other emotion bursted and channeled itself through your muscles and across your skin. You felt so vulnerable. This man had seen you–seen you! Like you were a real person or something! Like you weren’t just a ghost or a character in a movie! Everything felt wrong and you couldn’t figure out why. And you couldn’t stop thinking about Carrie for some reason.

You stayed as still as possible until you heard Joel’s booted footsteps leave the room. You were grateful he didn’t say anything or try to touch you again. Your body trembled as you got out of the bed. You walked on shaky legs to the bathrooms to clean yourself. The world around you was so close and too clear. You could hear and differentiate everyone’s voices in the main room. The air was humid and you could taste it–actually taste it like it was a wet, moldy cloud in your mouth.

Your hands tremored. You tried to exert control over them, but you were barely able to turn on the sink. You mostly swatted at the faucets until water came out. And there was no comfort to be had in the warm, rushing water. You noticed tension in your cheeks and thought you wanted to cry, but couldn’t make any tears come out.

The woman in the mirror scared you. It was you. You knew it was you. But she felt unfamiliar. Three dimensional. You wanted to run. Run away to the Quarantine Zone or—or anywhere but here.

Then you heard screaming, shrill screams from what had to be one of the other women. Suddenly you were being dragged out of the bathroom. Trisha’s hands were on you. Her fingers were small and thin and her skin was smooth and cold. You had never noticed before.

The lights in the main room were so bright that you could see everything. Every small piece of leather that had flaked off each of the couches and landed on the dirty, carpeted floor. The carpet itself was covered in dust and dirt and leaves. Where did the leaves come from? you wondered. How did they get tracked inside? Weren’t people wiping their shoes like they were supposed to?

There were people moving around. Naked. Half-naked. Clothed. All talking over each other. And blood. Bright red blood. One of the women, with long gold hair, was covered in it, shrieking in pain with both her hands on her hip. Two others guided her past you towards the back. One of Joel’s men was apologizing to Larry. He had black curly hair and a thick mustache. Larry was screaming in his face.

You saw Joel from the back as he pushed himself up from the couch. His shoulder rose and fell with deep, heaving breaths. There was blood dripping from his fist and there was someone beneath him. Once he stepped away, you saw an oblong fleshy ball of bright red where a face should have been. The body beneath the ball didn’t move.

You folded in half and started heaving. Trisha shrieked in your ear.

“I’m so sick of you assholes coming here and-and-and-and–” Larry was caught in a loop as he pulled his gun from his pocket. It was a small revolver. You watched his gray-skinned thumb pull back the hammer. “I’m sure! I’m sure!” he yelled over the shouting.

The man with the black curly hair lunged at Larry with a curse.

The gun-shot stilled everyone in the room. It was loud enough that for a moment, you thought you had been shot. The vibrations pierced you to the very center of your being. But then… Larry was on the floor. Sprinkled with dust from the ceiling tile. And then there was more blood. Bright red blood spilling out from his body.

You breathed in relief. Not only that you were still alive, but that it was Larry that was dead. For a few beautiful seconds, you felt free. Free from his bullshit and free from the brothel. Free to go back to the quarantine zone and start over again.

Trisha’s smooth fingers pulled one of your arms, but something warm and calloused pulled your other. You looked up, confused. It was Joel. Joel’s hand, which had been on you only minutes previous, felt so strange and unfamiliar. You had just shared a bed with him but–that had been a different man. Certainly different than the one that stood before you now with blood-splattered on his clothes and sweat beading around his temples.

“You can’t take her!” Trisha cried, tears pouring out her eyes. “You can’t take her!”

“Sorry, darlin’,” he said. Joel’s eyes looked sad. “She’s mine now.”

Terror fell over you like a cold, biting wind. He was talking about you.

Your body started trembling again. You tried and failed to pull your arm away from his grip. “NO!” You shouted. Your vision went blurry as you sobbed. “Don’t take me! Please!” That was why you couldn’t stop thinking about Carrie. Joel had bought Carrie. Trisha had told you that Joel had bought Carrie. But the information hadn’t clicked into place. You had spent so long avoiding your body, avoiding feeling any emotion at all that when it spent all night trying to warn you, you couldn’t hear it. You couldn’t feel the siren in your gut telling you to stay away from Joel. And now that siren was loud and clear. But it was far too late for you to do anything about it. “Don’t take me! Pleasepleaseplease!”

Joel didn’t budge. He leaned in real close to you. “Now you told me you like bein told what to do.” Your face went fiery hot with shame. He yanked your arm, pulling you from Tasha’s grip. “And right now, I’m tellin you that you’re comin with me.” He continued to pull you out the front door, towards his truck.

“No! Nonono!” You cried. You tried one more time to shake him off, but it was pointless. He was too strong. You were too weak. And you started to wonder if you could have prevented this or if it was simply your fate. Your own boss hadn’t been able to say ‘no’ to these men. What could someone like you have done?

You sobbed into your hands as you sat in the truck. The man with the black curly hair got in the driver’s seat. Joel sat on the other side of you and rubbed your back in some sick attempt at comfort. “You be good for me–” he said, adjusting himself. “--then we’ll see what you get.”

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a/n: Please let me know if I missed a tag. Also, idk if it's really a DDDNE story or not. ??

story title taken from the song "Mary the Ice Cube" by Primus.

#joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x afab!reader #✏️ game #✏ game club

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henrioo · 2 months

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°•*⁀➷ TIMELESS: MONKEY D. LUFFY

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "Many things are taken away by time, power, money, life... But pure, genuine and true love is always timeless. Surviving every hardship that may come, and Ace and Sabo could see that clearly between you and Luffy.

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : angst! Ace death! Male reader! (Can be trans or not), Pre time skip Luffy! Alabasta arc, Dressrosa arc, SPOILERS!, gay relationship, Luffy and reader are clueless, Sabo still depressed about Ace

꒰ WC ꒱ : 2,5k

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : So this was one of stories I had finished a long time and I now I'm posting them. It's not totally angst because nothing bad happens in the Luffy and reader relationship, but still sad. Fem dni or block and enjoy :))

Everyone quickly starts working on the tents before the terrible cold of the desert makes them freeze. You were finishing helping Nami with the girls' tent while trying to ignore Sanji cursing you for stealing his chance and calling you a pervert.

“Thank you (y/n)-kun” Nami said, satisfied with the end result while Vivi was placing the necessary items so that they would have a makeshift bed.

You just nodded and went after the boys to see what they were doing with their tents. Sanji clearly had a stable tent although it was kind of small, you thought about asking but your theories about his perverted goals made you shudder so you just ignored him and went to the other group.

Usopp was busy trying to make a tent himself and he was determined to show that he knew how to set one up, but he didn't. Zoro was lying on a sheet on the sand and using his backpack as a pillow, while Luffy and Chopper seemed to be having fun listening to the stories of the captain's older brother, Ace. “Usopp, do you want help?” You asked, approaching everyone. Since you still had some energy it wouldn't hurt to help others before going to your own tent to sleep, after all you were the first to set up your shelter which consisted more of a roof and pillow cloths and a sheet, you weren't much demanding and thought it fair that the girls had more fabric to work with.

“Hm… no… I… I'm almost there” he said, too focused to look at you, trying hard to make the poles that were supposed to hold the tent upright… obviously without success.

“Zoro?” You decided to leave the shooter alone, either he would make it or he would give up. The experience of success or failure was worth it then it was no longer your business.

“I'm fine, it's not too cold,” he said calmly. You would doubt if a normal human was truly capable of withstanding that cold, but it was Zoro and you knew he didn't think like a normal human, so you just shrugged it off.

You approached the other three boys who seemed very excited even after a long day of travel. Ace was a good guy, he definitely cared about Luffy and he had been very kind to everyone when they found out that you were his beloved little brother's crew. What bothered you was that he looked at you in a kind of strange way, especially when you interacted with Luffy.

It made you a little nervous and paranoid, but it didn't make you treat him any differently.

“Do any of you need help in the tents before I go to sleep?” You offered everyone, as always being very helpful.

“Oh! No! I’ll stay with Usopp!” Chopper declared happily and looked at his companion, but upon seeing the situation in the tent he was a little… well he was definitely something but you still weren't very good at reading emotions in an animal. He just sighed, getting up from Luffy's lap "I better help him" the reindeer said as he went towards his friend.

“I’m fine, fire advantage” Ace smiled and you had to admit he had a good charm. To prove his point he lit his own hand with his flames and you almost felt envious of the natural heat he was able to provide.

“Okay, then I’m going to get some sleep” you said, yawning, already feeling the tiredness finally catching up with you. As you turned to walk away you felt something grab your wrist and turned to see Luffy with a huge upset pout and his stretchy hand reaching out to hold you back.

"And me?" He asked in such a hurt way that he looked like a puppy abandoned in the rain.

“Huh? What about you Luffy?” You asked a bit confused.

“Aren’t you going to ask where I’m going to sleep?” He said it as if it were his duty to do it, a kind of genuine obligation.

“Oh! I thought you were going to sleep with Ace…” you said confused looking at your older brother. Since it had been a while since they had seen each other and Ace produced heat, you figured the two would just sleep together like brothers usually do.

“I don’t want to sleep with Ace!” Luffy grumbled, letting go of you and crossing his arms, he seemed almost offended by his assumption. “He snores!”

"Hey!" Ace said in protest at the small offense.

“Okay… what do you want to do then?” You looked at the boy with amusement, Luffy was always a bit clingy towards you and little by little you learned to give in to all his requests.

"I want to sleep with you!" He declared with a big smile and with so much confidence that it made your cheeks heat up and you looked away in embarrassment.

“Okay…whatever you want captain” you said shyly and practically ran to your tent to avoid hearing whatever Ace might say about that interaction.

Soon you were lying in the sand under your tent and trying to calm your racing heart, why did Luffy have to be so cute?! It only made it worse that he didn't know the effect he had on you... what an unfair life. When you were almost falling asleep you felt his warmth on your back, he wrapped his rubber limbs around you a few times as he held you tight against him, almost as if he wanted to make sure you wouldn't leave. He moved a few times, adjusting himself and then placed his head on your back, starting to sleep soon after. You sighed, deciding to follow his actions as you yawned one last time and also let sleep overcome you.

Outside, Ace watched as his brother practically skipped over to his tent with a knowing smile on his face. He wasn't an idiot, he knew Luffy very well and had good experience with romance, he knew exactly what was going on between the two of you. The way you smiled at Luffy and seemed to always be around him, the way the boy was also clingy to you and always seemed like your validation… who would know that Ace's whiny little brother would grow up enough to fall in love.

“Huh… those two then?” He laughed knowing that Zoro was the only one who was still awake, it wouldn't hurt to know more about his brother's boyfriend, after all it had been a long time since they had seen each other and Ace wanted to know all the news.

"Actually no." Zoro said quickly turning around to face Ace, he still had his eyes closed but was definitely awake.

“Huh? How not? They are literally sleeping together!” The man said, confused.

"Put two idiots together who are incapable of understanding what it's like to be in love and you get these two" Zoro yawned in his seat but he had an amused smile. “They definitely feel something, everyone knows”

“Let me guess, everyone knows except them?” Ace laughed knowingly, that was just like Luffy.

"Bingo... (y/n) is a little smarter, but I think he just doesn't want to accept that he's in love with the captain himself" that was a good theory, you always showed a lot of respect for Luffy's position and maybe you didn't want to mix things up things.

“He… huh, has problems with men?” Ace didn't know exactly how to ask if you weren't out of the closet without seeming rude, wouldn't it be weird if you didn't want to confess because you didn't feel comfortable liking a boy. Although that seemed a bit unlikely with the way you acted around Luffy.

"No, he's always made it clear that men are his type... Luffy isn't exactly the type of person who cares about gender either." Zoro pondered "I think it's just... They maybe don't think it's really love, the way they are they should just think it's a good friendship and that's it"

“No, (y/n) knows she's in love with Luffy” the third voice was Sanji's who was outside his tent smoking. "He just won't confess because he thinks Luffy is like that with everyone."

Ace sighed feeling empathy for you, Luffy could be very dense and his friendly manner probably confused you. But he knew that his brother definitely loved you, loved you in a very romantic way even if maybe he didn't know exactly what that was or how to express it.

“Well, I worry less,” Ace yawned, adjusting his hat to cover his face. “Luffy will eventually understand that he is in love with him, when that happens he will confess and make his love clear… he just needs a little time” the man laughed. He could already imagine the scene, Luffy would probably be a great boyfriend if he was already extremely loving with you now, as an older brother he felt very happy knowing that his little brother was having his first love and that luckily it was still reciprocated. You would work out, you just needed time until your feelings became clear and you could finally accept and accept them.

Sanji had already retired again, leaving Zoro to be the only one awake, he lay on his back facing the starry desert sky. Yes... You two just needed time, everyone could see how much you both loved each other much more than friends and mainly cared about each other. It would definitely be very interesting to see this unfold, he was just glad that both of his friends were in love with good people who would take good care of them.

You stroked Luffy's black hair, he was lying with his head in your lap recovering after the difficult battle against Doflamingo. You were all at Kyros' house so that Law and Luffy could have more time to recover, soon you would leave for Zou and then for Wano, so all the time to recover was essential now.

The straw hat on your head cast a certain shadow on your eyes, you didn't want to fall asleep, too worried to take your eyes off Luffy. But it was obvious that tiredness was also taking its toll on you, after all you also participated in your own battles to help the entire city from collapsing, now all your body and mind wanted was a little rest.

“Hey! Bro, you should get some sleep, you look like a zombie” Franky laughed as he continued the repairs on his body, you laughed weakly believing his words.

“Don’t worry, this one won’t wake up anytime soon” Zoro said, assuring you that you could take some time for your own rest.

“Okay… wake me up in case anything happens” you yawned, leaning better against the wall and finally resting completely, the straw hat fell against your face giving you greater coverage. You couldn't feel it, but Luffy turned a little, laying on his side and using his elastic arms to wrap himself around you, holding you close to him.

“It seems I came to say goodbye at a bad time” Sabo smiled entering the house, he would really love to spend more time with Luffy to recover everything they lost, but the revolutionary army needed him and it was time to go back. "It seems like some things never change, Luffy was always sleeping as a child."

“This one just doesn't sleep more than he eats,” Zoro said, making the other members who were there laugh a little.

"That's good, I'm glad he's still like this..." he smiled nostalgically, a part of him was happy that Luffy had managed to recover after Ace. A guilt still lingered in his chest for not being there, but they would have plenty of time in the future to come together again.

The blonde boy was going to say something else before starting his final farewell, but that was when he stopped to pay a little more attention to his brother and the man who slept with him. Luffy's precious straw hat resided on the man's head while his brother was wrapped around him in the same way he was wrapped around Sabo and Ace as children. No, it wasn't the same way, there was something different. The smile on Luffy's face, the way he was snuggled up to the boy Sabo knew was called (y/n)... Oh, he knew what that was.

“So both?” Zoro's eyes widened in surprise, it seemed that the brothers were much more alike than he imagined. He smiled nostalgically thinking that Luffy's two brothers really care about him a lot, it seemed like a great déjà vu from that same night in Alabasta years ago.

“No, not yet” he laughed looking sideways at the two “But they are already better than before.” That wasn't a lie, now that you and Luffy were reunited you were much more open to his displays of love, probably due to being apart for so long. The only thing “missing” was a label, but it wasn’t like you and Luffy seemed to care about that.

“Ah, I see… Luffy is more dense in these things” Sabo smiled happily, looking at his brother so comfortable.

“I'm happy that it's reciprocated, for both of them... I'm sure they'll work out, they just need a little time.” He was sure of it, it was obvious how much you liked each other, a little time would be enough for the two of you to take on whatever was necessary and nothing else would come between you “Well, I need to go, thanks for looking after my little brother, I promise we’ll see you again soon.” Sabo turned to leave but was stopped when he heard Zoro's voice.

“Huh… Ace said the same thing” Sabo's heart stopped for a second. "Not just about taking care of Luffy... About the two of you, you two were pretty confident that with a little time they would work out..."

Sabo had to hold back his tears, taking a deep breath to keep his control. He said happily without looking back "Then that must be a good sign, big brothers are never wrong." That was the small blessing for his brother's future relationship, he knew it would work out, Luffy could be dense in romantic relationships but Sabo knew that the day he fell in love with someone and was reciprocated he would never let that person go.

Leaving the small house he faced the sunny day feeling the wind on his face, wiping his tears and ruffling his golden curls.

“Hey Ace… It looks like our little brother grew up huh?” he said excitedly looking up, could his brother see him now? “I'm glad you had the chance to see them too... (y/n) is a good guy, I'm sure he'll be good for Luffy” he smiled confidently, after all he had seen how you took care of your brother when he passed out after the battle. “Luffy will also be good for him… Ah… I wish you had the chance to be here to see them finally together” he bit his trembling lip, unable to stop himself from crying “But it's okay, I know you can see us there, so please take good care of them… Our little brother deserves to be happy.”

And inside that house Luffy was still hugging you tightly, you yourself were smiling with your hand in the boy's hair, patting him even though you were sleeping. You might not have admitted your feelings, but that didn't matter, you and Luffy both knew that you loved each other and that you would never let anything happen to each other. And everyone around you, especially those two proud older brothers, knew that nothing would stop you two from enjoying a beautiful romance.

#one piece x reader #one piece imagine #anime imagines #imagines #one piece x male reader #one piece x masc reader #one piece x trans reader #one piece x transmasc reader #one piece x trans male reader #luffy x male reader #luffy x reader #x male reader #x masc reader #x transmasc reader #x trans male reader #male reader #trans male reader #male imagines

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charmedreincarnation · 3 months

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Hi charm. Your posts have helped me lots! Im keeping consistent for once and understand the law and shifting properly. My question is that I’ve been trying to considerate my understanding and application of states and A+P. This sounds stupid but I go back and forth and try to apply them, but the debates about them don’t make sense to me. I think rn I reinstate more with states but some I do prefer to just affirm and I’m just curious on which one you “preferred�� and how you applied that to shifting. Thanks 😊

I think it really does depend. I love the law of consciousness, and under that really anything goes. But for me personally, I really do think there’s a point of no return when it comes to A and P and states. Just in my experience, feel free to believe and do what you like. First and foremost, your beliefs are more important in your reality. But I feel like everyone says that so often. If you don’t understand that, it's not really my job to coddle anyone at this point 😭😭 everyone is their own god and that’s the most important thing to understand.

But I started my journey back in 2020 when I was 16, and I manifested so much with mirror work and affirmations because I didn’t know about the law, and honestly I barely knew anything about manifesting either. I was only a shifter. And all my shifting friends, not on Tumblr, who shifted pretty easily and I consider "master shifters" (not that it exists or matters), honestly didn’t get into LOA either. They just affirmed (but used LOA, by knowing they’d wake up in their desired reality without knowing). Ever since then, they don’t gripe in the community because sometimes ignorance rlly is bliss. If I was in 2020 and stuck with that, I would have gotten everything so easily. But looking back, somethings happen for a reason because the desires and drs I wanted at 16 are nothing like the life/drs I want and have right now. I’m so grateful I struggled for a bit; it was a blessing in disguise 😭😭😭.

Around that time, I hated LOA because I talked about this in a different ask, but my favorite master shifter on Reddit (I’m an OG Reddit girl) who brought LOA to Reddit eventually left because she claimed she thought she was mentally ill, and shifting is psychosis. So I hated Neville and LOA for a while, which is so funny, because what did he do? I also didn’t like states because none of my shifting friends knew about that, and all shifting was just knowing and affirming. I wanted to do that too, not live in my head or whatever I understood states as.

I obviously eventually learned about LOA properly and learned so much about the "mechanics" and origins and over-consumed, just like a lot of you guys. When I tried to go back to A+P, I struggled so much because I really did believe in states. I thought about my horrible childhood, but how I got through it was knowing and believing in magic and my eternal happiness. From ages 9-14, I was a very happy and lucky child despite my circumstances and depression, because I was in the state of someone who had it all. I always knew life was more than what we can see with our eyes, so really, I knew A+P wasn’t really what was working, it was my state. But I refused to admit that for a while and got mad when my affirmations stopped working (that’s what I mean by point of no return).

Also, my shifting friends are using states, and when I started asking them about it, they started talking learned about their methods and how they suceeed easily. Most of them used some variation of SATS without knowing and music to fulfill their inner man and know that, regardless, they’ll wake up in their desired reality. So I started doing the same, and that’s how I manifested my first shift.

But everyone is so different. Like look at all the success stories. Some people just use science and logic with lucid dreaming steps. A lot of people in LOA now didn’t even use LOA to manifest at first or get into the void or whatever. Some people shift without knowing or by accident, etc., etc. The point is understanding states helped me because that’s the type of person I am; I like knowing the mechanics behind the seemingly magic. But maybe you don’t, maybe you don’t care about states, you know they’re behind everything but don’t care. That’s all good too. I don’t care how anyone achieves or understands the law to get their dream life, as long as they’re not spreading misinformation. The law is about you and understanding what fulfills you; you don’t need to follow debates to fulfill yourself.

A lot of people feel very strongly about their beliefs because it’s what helped them achieve their dream life, so they’ll die on hills for it. And I honestly get it; that’s how you feel about shifting. So I really don’t like when people try to dunk on it or like "debunk it." And that’s how everyone feels for their beliefs; it’s the human in us, we feel strongly about our passions. But don’t let people make you feel bad about your beliefs. Sometimes Tumblr can get like middle school-esque with the labels and drama, but again, it’s a good reminder that no matter how godly you are, we still have our human shell, and that’s oddly comfortable to me so I don’t care that much tbh. Just do you girl, at the end of the day it’s your happiness that matters

#law of assumption #manifesation #shiftblr #manifesting #reality shifting

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 days

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AITA for being complicit in my friend's situationship? (NSFW, and sorry, it's long, but at least it's dramatic.)

I had a friend (I will refer to as Kate), who I no longer speak to for reasons unrelated to this scenario. We dated on and off for a couple years and broke up permanently about a year before these events, but remained as roommates. Everyone in the story was in their 20s.

Kate went to a trade school and met a man (I will refer to as Andrew) who flirted with her despite mentioning before that he had a girlfriend. Kate was attracted to Andrew but told him that she wouldn't get involved with him unless he broke up with his girlfriend. He then told her that his girlfriend was distant to the point that they hadn't slept together in years, they basically were just friends that lived together, but she wouldn't let him officially break up with her, and he couldn't afford to move out on his own.

Kate told me about this, sometimes asking what I thought, and though I had some doubts about whether that information was true, I didn't give any real advice in any direction. Obviously I was in a weird situation, but didn't want to discourage her, or she might have thought I was jealous. She wasn't happy when I went on a date during this time. She also accused me of emotionally cheating while we were dating, so I was not about to tell her how to define cheating. That's a whole other story, but I say "accused" bc it basically boiled down to me still being friends with someone I previously had feelings for, and Kate believed I was more attracted to the old friend than her. That remained a sore spot for the whole time we knew each other, although I cut off the old friend a year after Kate and I started dating.

A few months went by, and they spent more time together at the school, and her car, hooking up at both. They never went to his place. He also asked her not to initiate text conversations, in case his girlfriend saw his phone. He came over to our place twice, and both times she texted me out of the room so they could be alone. Kate acted very happy talking about him, occasionally guilty or suspicious, but said she thought she loved him. Her moods fluctuated a lot, as she experiences manic and depressive episodes, and I was trying to comfort her through the bad times.

When they were about to graduate, Kate told Andrew that since they wouldn't see one another at school together anymore, she would stop talking until he broke up with his girlfriend. Then Kate saw his girlfriend show up at their school acting, well, like his girlfriend. So she became suspicious. Andrew also started flirting with another woman at their school, who flirtaciously messaged Kate. Kate thought Andrew was trying to set up a threeway, even after breaking off their situation. This ended with a lot of angry texts to Andrew from Kate, demanding that he tell his girlfriend everything. Andrew claimed he did, and then the conversation ended.

Many months later, Kate doubted Andrew told his girlfriend, so Kate asked me to make a burner account to message her, and I did. She didn't seem to be aware of any of it. At this point, Kate felt that Andrew had exploited her, but as far as I know, all of their interactions were consensual. I think she was trying to deal with her own guilt by leaving all the blame on him, but I never dared to tell her she'd done any wrong here. I also felt complicit in that I probably should have guessed that she was manic during this and given better advice.

I know this was a lot of info, but it could have been a lot longer. I'm just wondering now, a long time later, was ITA for not telling my friend flat out to stop the situation, or that she was doing something wrong?

#aita #am i the asshole

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enluv · 10 months

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004: YOU DATED MY GF? (read: soobin’s backstory)

– genre: written content & smau

– wc: 1.2k + (sorry babes ilysm muah!)

– warnings: angst, deception, feelings of not being enough and depression(?), privacy violations, drama, lmk if I missed something!

Four pairs of eyes watch as he paces throughout the living room, gnawing at the once smooth skin around the bed of his nails, Soobin is mentally preparing himself to be lectured at his next shoot by his manager for messing up his “perfect hands”.

The thread is fresh on his mind, and while he appreciated the boys allowing him to tell his side of the story, he wasn’t sure what more to say.

He wanted to tell them the full truth but he wasn’t sure how they’d take it, he’s known them most of his life now. As he started becoming the person he wanted to be they stood by him every step of the way but for sometime before, he was alone, stuck with the idea that he’d be going nowhere, he’d be some boring guy with some boring beige job that he’d hate but that at the very least provided him what he needed to live comfortably, and then his life was completely turned around and he hadn’t looked back since.

“Soobin, you’re my best friend but I need you to tell us the truth about this Y/N situation, she’s my friend too, a really good one.”

Beomgyu speaks up first, and Soobin is suddenly taken back to when he’d first uttered your name to him, he’d excitedly talked about the event he had just went to a few days prior and how it would have been so boring but he had made a friend, a friend named Y/N, “she makes music and she’s super freaking cool.” Soobin’s heart sunk as he mustered up a smile, congratulating Beomgyu for making a new friend, something he surprisingly had a hard time doing back then.

“What you all read wasn’t completely false, but it left out a lot of key information that only Y/N and I knew,” he pauses and finds his way back in front of the boys, “When I met Y/N she hadn’t started making music yet, and I didn’t know any of you, I had completely different friends who had the worst influence on me and I was in a place in life where I just didn’t know where I was going or what I wanted to do. I was convinced I’d live a boring life with a boring job that I hated.” He sighs and takes a seat on the rug in front of the boys.

“The thread was right, I wasn’t ready to commit to anyone, but what it didn’t mention was that Y/N understood that and she was okay with it, our relationship was friends with benefits like but as time went on it began to change for me, and for her too, I know because she told me but you guys know, Y/N is an amazing person, her music is amazing and when she started to get bigger I didn’t want bring her down.”

“What do you mean by bring her down?” It’s Taehyun who asks first.

“She was going places, that much was obvious when she started getting offers and deals, and then suddenly I got this realization that I’d just be a distraction for her if we started something serious. She kept telling me how much I helped her and how inspiring I was but I hadn’t done anything for her and it made me so mad because here she was, this amazing person who deserved the world and here I was, literally a nobody who couldn’t even give her commitment.”

“Bro you were too hard on yourself, she obviously really liked you.”

“And I understand that now gyu but at the time I seriously had nothing going for me, I hadn’t signed my contract yet, I hadn’t met you all, and I was still stuck back home.” His eyes are glued to the small rug hairs under him, fingers plucking at them to help distract himself from the raw nail beds he bit away at while explaining his side of things.

“Okay so I understand what you’re telling us and I obviously believe you but what happened after? Why does she seem to be so hurt by you?”

“Because the night she released lowkey, you know the song that blew up for her, she asked me if we could be official and I lied to her, I told her that I didn’t want to be committed to anyone and that I’d been seeing someone else while also being with her, but it was all lies, I just didn’t want to drag her down, especially because she was just starting her career. I wanted at least one of us to make it out that life, you know?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know that Yeonjun.”

“Shut up and let me finish, you’re an idiot because Y/N loved you so much, and I understand that you felt some type of way because you hadn’t figured out your life yet but be serious for one second, who the fuck has ever figured their life out right out of high school? You were nineteen years old Soobin. I mean look where you are now, you made it out, you’re here doing a fun not boring job with cool ass people, meaning as all of us, Y/N didn’t deserve that kind of heartbreak Soobin, she deserved a proper break up or even just a truthful explanation.”

Soobin nods at his words, he knows that and he even knows just how awful he was for lying, he’d think about it every time he listened to something new you put out, knowing it was about him. Sure he’d been a stupid kid at one point but being with you he was at his happiest and he lives by that everyday, he knows he was wrong and he knows he should have just told you the truth but in all honesty, he wasn’t sure how.

“I regret it everyday, honestly I wish I could take it back.”

An excited Beomgyu shoots up from his seat as Hueningkai falls from his lap, “I have an idea.”

“Y/N and I are really good friends and you’re my best friend. You want to apologize and right your wrongs and she’s obviously still in love with you or has some kind of feelings towards you so why don’t we fix that. Then everyone is happy and we can all be one big happy family!”

“How are we supposed to fix this? I mean this in the nicest way possible but, your ideas are always ass.”

“Firstly, fuck you Yeonjun, and secondly let me tell you my plan.”

The boys sit back, not a single word is spoken as they all nod their heads at Beomgyu.

“Well shit, maybe this time your plan might actually work.”

MASTERLIST / PREVIOUS / NEXT

coco’s ♡ note: dun dun dun!! and there it is folks! we finally have soobin’s side of the sooby/n drama! question is, will he be able to make things right with y/n, or is he too late? dun dun dun!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the first draft of it got deleted so I had to re-write it but I think I’m pretty happy with how it came out!! As always, feedback & reblogs are always appreciated!

TTT TAGLIST! - @jmin-s @stealanity @iijwon @invuwrld @igotkpoops @telesvng @whippedforbeomgyu @l0ve-joy @envirae @neozon3nha @meiiiwa @kangtaehyunfan029 @chaerybae @ch2won @cinnikoi @wccycc @run2seob @stariszn @haew0nz - Want to be added? Send an ask or dm to be added to the taglist!!

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zombryz · 4 months

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: ̗̀➛ Sparks and Cursed Shadows

˗ˏˋ I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT DAY DEAR READERˎˊ˗

Chapter Two

masterlist | Previous Chapter 1 | Next Chapter 3 | ao3

Pairings: Satoru Gojo x afab!reader x Suguru Geto

A/N: I am sad for what's to come but also excited for more Suguru Geto *eyes emoji*. I loved the build-up of both relationships to see how they played out to where they are now.

Summary: Years had passed since you last saw him—the formidable sorcerer, Satoru Gojo, with his innate six eyes, your old classmate, and first love. When Suguru Geto decided to part ways with Jujutsu High and abandon sorcery altogether, you went with him, both of you unintentionally breaking Satoru's heart. Now, after years and years, your heart aches as Suguru, your now lover, succumbs to the ancient curse of Kenjaku. Suguru—no—Kenjaku threatens to kill Suguru inside of his own mind if you do not confront your once-beloved Satoru Gojo, killing him to bring balance back to the world of curses.

Warnings: (current, may change throughout the story - I will try to add them to each chapter) **Possible Anime/Manga spoilers throughout** PSTD, Death, depression, angst, possessiveness, jealousy, uneven power dynamics (obviously because Gojo is the strongest), eventual lemon/smut, slowburn, right person wrong time, friends to lovers to enemies to lovers again, touch starved, unprotected first time, virgin!reader, virgin!gojo, betrayal, switch!gojo, switch!reader, dom!suguru, porn with plot, possible pregnancy ending (undecided but will make it cute, not annoying), fuckboy!gojo, kind of poly!reader (she loves them both at the same time), gore/blood/violence scenes that will be graphic

Word Count: 14.5k

Wanna listen to what I listened to while writing this?:

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Start of Tokyo Jujutsu High School Year - 2005 - First Year

You had been at the school for a few days now. No one else seemed to arrive as early as you did so you got first dibs on your bedroom as well as all the good snacks in the communal kitchen. It was quiet and you knew there weren’t going to be a lot of students so you wondered if it would always be like this. You picked the room with a sliding back door that led out to a small cherry blossom tree with a little stone bench underneath. The tree was in full bloom and you found yourself sitting out there for all hours of the day, just listening to the birds sing while you read some old books you found about reversed cursed techniques. Sadly, your family never really taught you this stuff; you were the only ‘cursed’ child and they couldn’t wait to send you off as a jujutsu sorcerer. If you were being honest with yourself you didn’t mind, it was better than being invisible to a family who wanted nothing to do with the child who obtained your great-great-great grandfather’s cursed ability. They treated him like a god and you couldn’t understand why you were shunned away. Maybe you just couldn’t fill his shoes.

The day before school started you found yourself once again sitting out at the little stone bench under the cherry blossom tree. You were reading from your book when you saw something move in front of you and that's when you first noticed that there were more rooms connected to the courtyard garden. Someone was moving behind a window directly across from your room. Your eyes curiously watched as a boy about your age walked out of his room and into the courtyard. You weren’t sure if you should say something or just keep reading. He was most likely one of your classmates and he hadn’t noticed you yet. You decided to peek over your book to get a better look at him. He was tall and lean and was dressed in all-black clothes that were not his school uniform. His pants were slightly baggy at the calves and he had shoulder-length dark brown hair that was pushed behind his ears. His eyes were dark but kind from what you could tell and he sported black circular earrings. He walked over to a small water fountain at the edge of the garden and crouched down before it. He reached his hands out to gather the water into a small pool in his palms before splashing it on his face and running the leftover water through his hair.

“What are you reading?” He speaks up now and you quickly divert your eyes to hyperfocus on the page, worried that he probably caught you staring.

“Uh-um, it’s a book about reversed cursed techniques. It’s quite interesting, I think.” You try to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“It sounds interesting.” After running his hands through the water and into his hair a couple more times he rises to his full height and makes his way over to you. As he gets closer you notice his angular jawline and perfectly straight nose. His hair was now dripping wet and you couldn’t help but think about how beautiful he was. You were suddenly very nervous in his presence. He wipes his palms on his pants to dry them and you watch as his large hand starts reaching for your book. You give it to him without even saving your page.

He scans over the back quickly before handing it back to you, his finger staying on your page to hold your spot for you. When you grab it from him your hand brushes against his making you lock eyes. His eyes were dark and borderline sensual, you were looking up at him with big doe ones. He clears his throat making you look away.

“I’m Suguru Geto, I believe we are classmates,” He takes a seat next to you on the concrete bench. You can feel his body heat surrounding you as he gets closer.

“I-I’m Y/N Kashimo, nice to meet you,” you reach your hand out for him to shake making him chuckle in response, his laugh is the most calming sound in the world. When he smiles his mouth curls up forming a small dimple to the right of his lips. You can’t help but stare at it. He then happily takes your hand and shakes it gently. His hand was cold from the fountain but you could feel the warmth of his body heat coming through.

“It’s nice to meet you, Kashimo,” he smiles politely, still holding your hand.

“Oh, you can just call me Y/N,” you realize you’re still holding his hand so you pull away first, “Most people don’t think I deserve to go by my family name.” you drift off sadly and stare at your hands in your lap.

“Well,” he goes to stand up, “in that case, you can just call me Suguru.” You suddenly feel small beneath him. He starts walking back to his room and before he walks through his door he turns around to you once more, “And we’ll see about that, I think you could make that name your own if you wanted.” He pauses before testing out your name on his lips, “See you tomorrow, Y/N.” Then he is gone as fast as he appeared. There are butterflies in your stomach that won't go away and you know you won’t be able to go back to reading so you just sigh.

Later that night

Your first-day jitters were starting to get the best of you as you lay awake in bed unable to sleep. It was about midnight when you decided to grab your robe off the back of your door and go to the communal kitchen for a glass of water. You walked down the dark halls quietly hoping not to wake anyone else. When you arrived at the kitchen on the other side of the building you avoided turning on any lights so that if someone was awake you wouldn’t have to talk to them. You quietly took out a glass from one of the cabinets and filled your cup with the water from the fridge. You shut the refrigerator and turn the corner of the kitchen to dart back to your room as quickly as you possibly can. To your surprise, you come to an abrupt and painful stop when you walk directly into what you thought was a wall causing your glass of water to go all over you. The impact causes you to fall backwards but before you hit the ground you feel a strong arm snake around your lower back to catch you.

“Hey, I’m so sorry,” He questions worriedly. You strain your eyes to see who saved you but the hallway is too dark, only the moonlight pours into the room but it is not enough to see the dark figure hovering over you. You maybe thought it was Suguru until you heard a voice coated in honey. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m the one who should be sorry, I really should've brought a flashlight.” You laugh light-heartedly.

“It’s okay, I should’ve seen you coming with my technique, you just surprised me is all.” He is still holding on to the small of your back making sure to steady you before letting go. “Oh no, you’re soaking wet, come on I’ll help you dry off” He adds in an apologetic tone leading you back to the kitchen where you were just moments ago.

He turns on some soft lighting in the kitchen instead of the bright overhead light and you finally get a good look at him. He was Satoru Gojo, you know this because your family never shuts up about him and the Gojo clan he belongs to. He supposedly carried the innate gift of the six eyes and your family had been in discussions in the past with the Gojo clan about marrying you off to him. You wonder if he knows about that. You had never met him before this very moment, he was tall and lean and his hair was white as snow. He was wearing striped pajama pants and a black t-shirt that revealed his arm muscles. You had heard that he usually wears glasses to hide his eyes but right now he wasn’t, maybe because you both were supposed to be asleep and it was late. You watched him curiously as he frantically searched for a towel of some kind. He went through several cabinets and drawers before finding the right one and pulled out a couple of towels.

“Here we go,” He turned to walk over to you. You took off your robe and were in just your big t-shirt and silk shorts that you usually sleep in. You were awkwardly leaning against the counter and were starting to get cold from being wet so you hopped on the counter to get your bare feet off the cold tile. When he got closer he took you all in just as you did with him moments ago while he was searching for something to dry you with. He hesitantly walks closer but once he’s completely invaded your space he reaches out to pull your shirt towards him, rubbing the towel into the fabric to soak up the water. “I-I’m sorry again.” He sighs.

“It’s okay, I promise,” You swung your feet next to his legs and there was an awkward but comfortable silence that fell over you as he continued to dry you off. “I-’m-” You decide that maybe you should just introduce yourself to make this whole situation less intimate.

“You’re the Kashimo girl, right?” He continues to pat the towel on your shirt, not looking at you. With you sitting on the counter you were almost the same height as him.

You huff, so he did know who you were. Your family always claims to be embarrassed of you but if you were being honest with yourself, you were embarrassed of them. Being part of the Kashimo family felt like a curse in itself. You wondered if he could relate seeing as that's how most sorcerer clans were.

“Yeah, but you can just call me Y/N. No one calls me Kashimo.” You watch the way his long fingers move the towel up and down your shirt. Your eyes travel up and to his face while he works. His lips were supple and his cheeks were a little flushed. You couldn’t help but stare at his beautiful bottom lashes that were snow white just like his hair. After a moment or two of you practically drooling over the poor boy, he looks up at you and you are finally looking into those angelic, ice-blue eyes everyone talks about. The eyes that made him so powerful. He was considered a special grade before even joining Jujutsu Tech. You bet he could snap you like a twig in this very kitchen if he so wanted. The thought made you breathless and sent a chill down your spine.

The two of you stayed like this for a while, just staring into each other's eyes. Until he finally spoke up, “I’m Satoru Gojo by the way,” he practically yelled in excitement until he realized that other people were sleeping just down the hall. You could’ve sworn that his smile was even brighter than his eyes. You couldn’t help but giggle at him and his face became even more flush than before. “Seeing how I spilled water all over you, I think it's only fair that you call me by my first name as well.” He lowers his voice and naturally closes the space even more to be quiet. Your breath hitches in your throat.

“Hmmm, Satoru,” you hum his name and his ears perk up. “I think I might’ve spilled water on you too.” You point at his abdomen where there is water all over his nice black shirt. You slowly take the towel from his hand and hop off the counter. “Here, let me.” You twist under his arm and face now he is the one leaning against the counter. He turns towards you slightly and allows you to dab his shirt the same way he dried yours.

“So, uh, is it true you’re like,” he makes a funny little gesture with his hands and makes a weird noise to mimic an electricity zap, “Sparky?” He asks, making a silly face; almost like he is embarrassed by the way he just said that.

“Uh, yeah, you could say that.” You giggle and your eyes meet his once more making your heart skip a beat with how he was looking down at you. “I-Is it true you can fly?” You were only half serious, after learning about reversed cursed techniques and the capabilities that Satoru has, you wouldn’t be surprised if he could fly. Plus, that was one of the reasons why your family liked him so much, because he was a very very strong ally to have. How much closer than being married into the family could he get?

Satoru laughs and brings his hand up to his face to cover his smile so he wouldn’t be too loud. “Is that what they’re saying about me nowadays?” You stopped drying his shirt but didn’t pull away from how close you were to him. “I gotta give it to the other clan members, they’re usually right about what I can and can’t do. If they believe I can fly, I should probably start training.”

Your voice was quiet now that he struck something in common with you, “D-Do you always listen to your clan elders?” You begin messing with the fabric on his shirt mindlessly.

“Nah, fuck that.” He says gaining a sudden sort of confidence on the subject. His muscles tense beneath you causing you to let go of his shirt. “Why, do you?”

“They once told me that I was to be married to you.” Your voice is barely above a whisper and you look at him once more to gauge his reaction. For some reason, you wanted to know if he had been told that too.

“Oh?” He scoffs. “Sorry,” he pauses for a lot longer than you thought he would, “it’s just, you’re not the first girl my family has tried to marry off to me.” His voice lowers as he says this.

“Oh, I see,” Your chest tightens and you’re not sure why. So there were other powerful girls his family wanted him to be with? You suppose it made sense.

“N-Not that I wouldn’t, I’m just not too keen on marrying a total stranger,” he pedals back after seeing what he thinks is disappointment on your face.

“Oh, no, don’t worry, me either!” You step back a little trying to signal that you weren’t trying to come off upset about his reaction. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to marry a sorcerer. You’re only here to become greater than your great-great-great grandfather to prove to your family that you’re not a disappointment and then leave sorcery behind and live a normal life.

“I just feel like we should have a choice.” He fixes his posture and stares at you once more with his achingly blue eyes.

“I agree, we should.” You realize it has to be getting late now and your mind starts racing about your family and how you officially start training tomorrow and want to surpass your great-great-great grandfather as soon as possible, “Let’s not get married then. Just to spite our families.” You hold out your pinky to him and he looks at you with furrowed brows and a small frown but you don’t read into it. He hesitates but ends up intertwining his pinky with yours anyway, ultimately making a pinky promise he doesn’t fully want to make. “I really should be going to sleep now. Goodnight Satoru!” You grab your robe off the counter and leave him in at the kitchen island, alone.

“Goodnight, Sparky.” He looks down at his pinky after you are gone and his lips form a tight line. Why did he just do that?

Later in the year

During your first year, you became closer to both Suguru and Satoru and learned they had met during the summer and had already become very close friends. You also met your other classmate, Shoko, whom you adored. She was always offering you cigarettes or a swig out of her flask. You gave in every once and a while making Satoru get on to you, Suguru never did though; he would partake most of the time, unlike you and Satoru. It was the four of you, always together. You received your uniform which had been customized by your family, it was the lady's version of the uniform just all white to match. You were sent on your first mission together. You learned to fight cursed spirits together and you were sometimes even given lower grade missions with just a single partner. There were multiple instances where you were partnered up with Satoru, Suguru, or sometimes Shoko. They had become your best friends.

After a while, you realize that to everyone else Satoru was just a spoiled rich boy who was full of himself but everyone loved him anyway. Suguru was kind-hearted but stern and came from a broken family of non-sorcerers, he had been scouted to come to Jujutsu Tech. Lastly, Shoko was kind of a mystery, no one knew where she came from or about her past since she didn’t talk about it much. You didn’t mind really, the less you had to talk about your family the better. She was very similar to you in that sense.

During most of the school year, you would meet up with Suguru after school in the courtyard garden between your rooms. It was mostly to vent about your day or just to read to him. You weren’t sure why, but when you read to him on the concrete bench beneath the cherry blossom tree, he liked it. You enjoyed it too. Sometimes even Satoru and Shoko would join you and you would read to all of them, sharing your findings. Both you and Shoko tried to explain the reversed cursed technique to them but you don’t think it registered.

One day, when the seasons started to change you remember reading a romantic novel about a princess and a knight in shining armor. Suguru would never admit it but you knew he liked it because he kept coming back to hear the rest of the story. Suguru was sitting on the bench above you staring at the way the wind flowed through the trees making all the little leaves dance and sway to the rhythm. You sat on the ground beneath him reading the final chapters of the romance novel. His hair was starting to grow out and you liked it when he wore it down instead of his normal bun look. A couple of sakura leaves kept falling on your book obstructing the writing on the pages so you kept running your fingers over it to push them off and continue reading. It was as if he could tell you were getting frustrated because he caught one of the leaves and leaned over to gently place it behind your ear. You stopped reading and reached behind your ear to feel for the flower. You then turned to him smiling, your cheeks as pink as the tree, “What was that for?” you hum in a sweet but questioning voice.

“Come here, dance with me.” He suddenly gets up and extends his arm out to help you up. The sun was starting to set, soon you wouldn’t have any more light to read anyway.

“There isn’t any music playing,” You raise your eyebrow at him, place the book down on the bench, but reach for his hand anyway. He helps you to your feet and places a hand on the small of your back. You position your feet and then he leads with a slow ballroom dance.

“We don’t need music, the trees are singing to us, you just have to listen,” He looks up at the tree and you don’t immediately follow his line of sight, instead you watch his Adam's apple move up as your eyes follow the shape of his jaw. He was so beautiful. After a moment you look up and watch the trees with him. You’re giggling now which makes him pick up the pace causing you both to dance extremely fast.

“Suguru! Slow down, you’re going too fast I can’t keep up.” You laugh hysterically and your hair flows in the wind as he releases you into a quick spin while holding your hand. He then spins you right back into his body and leads you into a low dip with his large hand supporting your lower back. You let your head hang with your arms stretched behind you. Suddenly you feel so free like you didn’t have a care in the world. You were smiling ear to ear and it was Suguru’s turn to look at you, his eyes following your smile to your chin, your neckline, your collar bones, and then down to the way your uniform hugs around your chest perfectly supporting your breasts -- He shakes his thoughts and lifts you back up. You were so beautiful to him.

You’re smiling as you lay your head on his chest and you both fall into a slow sway that matches the pace of his slowing heartbeat. When you looked up at him he was already looking down at you, his deep brown eyes were heavy, and stared at you with a sort of longing that you hadn’t seen on him before.

“Thanks,” You rest your chin on his chest to look up at him through your dark eyelashes. You move your arms around his hips and hug him tightly, “I needed that after all these really dark missions.” He was looking down at you and because he was taller than you, his arms were resting just underneath your shoulders.

He brings his arms up slowly and cups your face gently caressing your cheek on the same side he had placed the flower on. Your heart begins to race in anticipation. What was he doing? He lowers his head as slow as he possibly could allowing you to push him away if he had the wrong idea. His bangs fell to the sides of his face and his lips were now hovering over yours. You could feel every little breath he took. You were practically begging him to crash his lips into yours. Finally, after a few moments of harmless teasing, his lips were on yours. They were warm and his kisses were slow and sensual. You kissed him back harder and hungrier. After you both fell into a comfortable pace, you began to nip at his bottom lip while he ran his tongue over yours. You moved your hands from the small of his back and used one to steady yourself using his hip while the other one started playing with the fabric of his shirt. His lips moved down your cheek while your face fell limp into his hand he kissed down your neck and nipped at your collar bone eliciting a small gasp from you. He must’ve liked it because you could feel him smiling into your neck. You finally gave in to your hand's curiosity and placed a palm underneath his shirt. You ran your hand up his abs and could feel the chills you were causing him. He moved his mouth off your neck and crashed his lips into yours once again, this time he was the hungry one. He ran his fingers through your hair as he cupped your cheeks again.

“Y/N Kashimo and Satoru Gojo, please come to my office.” Principal Yaga’s voice comes through a loudspeaker making you jump into Suguru’s arms. He wrapped himself around you in a protective motion.

After the loudspeaker shuts off you both just laugh loudly. The awkwardness of the moment finally settled in, “I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. Maybe it was the book?” Suguru rubs the back of his neck and you let go of him.

“That’s okay, I guess I should go see what Principal Yaga wants…” You grab the book before turning to face him, “We uh, don’t have to talk about what just happened if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah, okay.” Suguru detests silently. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow Sugu!” You smile sweetly at him and wave before stepping back into your room.

In Principal Yaga’s office

“I’ve asked you both here because you have been invited to join the Gojo clan's annual holiday dinner with the clan elders.” Principal Yaga explains causing you to look at Satoru with furrowed brows questioning across the room whether or not he knew about this. His eyes said no. “They are hoping to convince you both to get married next spring for the sake of the clans. I’m so sorry.” He sighs and holds his hands together, “You both leave for the countryside tomorrow morning. If neither of you have anything to say then you’re dismissed.”

You and Satoru stand up to leave, walking back to your rooms on the other side of the school. You walk together in silence for a minute or two before finally speaking up.

“There's no way to get out of this is there?” You sigh and run your fingers through your hair. You bring your fingers to your lips, the feeling of Suguru still fresh.

“Nope, I don’t think so.” He stops in the middle of the hallway making you come to a stop to turn around and face him.

“What’s wrong Satoru?” You ask sadly closing the distance between you a bit.

“I’m just sorry this is happening, for what it’s worth…” He pauses shaking his head before deciding not to say the second part. “Never mind.”

“No, C’mon, now you have to say it.” you playfully nudge him with your elbow. You’re smiling at him but his mind is somewhere else. You walk closer to him and nudge him again playfully, “Satoru?” You were beginning to worry now.

He is suddenly knocked out of his trance, “I-I was just going to say, for what it's worth if I have to marry someone I’m glad it’s you and not some stranger.” He sends you a pitiful smile and rubs the back of his head.

“Heyyy,” you start with a giggle, “what about our pinky promise, huh?” You hold out your pinky as if that would help jog his memory. You made that promise months ago now.

He’s almost inclined to say ‘What promise?’ but he doesn’t, instead he stays silent.

“Okay fine, our promise can be annulled but only if we make another promise to each other.” You start walking again casually skipping before turning around to see if he is following and he is. He follows behind like a little puppy. His eyes are covered with his dark circular glasses but you know he was looking at you as he trails behind with his hands in his pockets.

“Oh yeah, what promise?” He was intrigued now. Did this mean you wouldn’t mind marrying him if it came down to it?

You invade his space by shoving your pinky back in his face. You’re shorter than him by a little over a foot so he towers over you. He tilts his head down allowing you to see his eyes which flicker to your lips before looking up at your pinky finger. You suddenly feel nervous under his gaze. “We have to promise to each other that we will never marry someone we don’t want to marry.” You gulp when he doesn’t immediately respond. It was always like this, you would approach him with a certain confidence but he always managed to squash it and make you feel smaller than you were. Maybe it was just his dominating energy, you weren’t sure. He just really managed to bring out your submissive side. Now you were the little puppy.

“Okay deal.” He flashes his signature Satoru Gojo smirk before he intertwines his pinky with yours and you notice that his hands have gotten a little bigger since the last time he touched you like this. The year was almost over and you both had been through so many tough missions together as first years. You were extremely lucky to have been partnered up with him and Suguru most of the time. They both guarded you but you always tried to stay on their level.

“Wait! I have an idea that could get us out of this!” You let go of his pinky and jump a little in excitement, “What if we tell the elders that I’m with Suguru? You could tell them I’m off limits.” You clap a little and spin around as you both continue walking back to your rooms. You were both now standing where you first met, in front of the communal kitchen.

“A-Are you with Suguru?” His chest tightens. He remembers only hours ago - no, could it be? When did that happen? Why didn’t Suguru tell him he liked you? Why didn’t he tell Suguru he liked you first?

“N-No, well, not really, I don’t think so.” You answer truthfully. You haven’t had a chance to process what happened earlier. You remember what you said about not having to talk about it and Suguru agreed so, “No.” You solidify your answer.

Satoru releases the breath he was holding but his heart sinks a little not sure how to understand your response so he decides to poke at you for clarity. He doesn’t know why he’s doing this, after all, it’s just hurting him, “Do you like him?”

“Um, I’m not sure…” You put your arms behind your back and walk slower pondering the idea of you and Suguru. “I think we just got carried away listening to the romance story in my book.” You finally analyze it and conclude that that's all it was. All it had to be.

“I see, well I’m always here if you want to talk. We can try your idea with the elders if you want…” Satoru brings his hand to the top of your head and roughs up your hair, he just likes seeing the sparks your cursed energy creates. You shoo him away and he laughs, “I just want you to be happy, okay?” He sighs sweetly.

“Okay.” You smile up at him with his hand still on your head. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Satoru.” You notice you’re close to your room now.

“See you tomorrow, Sparky!” He gives you a silly salute and turns on his heel to leave you.

“You know I hate when you call me that.” You frown at him before opening your door.

“Yeah, I know.” He puts his hands back into his pockets and continues walking down the hall to his room.

The next day

You and Satoru left first thing in the morning when the winter air was finally setting in. You looked out your window at the cherry blossom tree you and Suguru had shared a kiss at the night before and noticed a lot of the leaves were gone now. When you looked over at his window, part of you had hoped he would come out and say goodbye but sadly, he didn’t. The air looked a little grey but you didn’t mind. You put on your ‘out of school clothes’ which consisted of a brown knitted sweater, warm leggings, and black boots. Today was your travel day after all, you packed nice attire for the rest of the week.

You met with Satoru at the entrance to the school where a car would bring you both to the train station. When you saw him standing under the school’s torii your heart skipped a beat. He was dressed in a white hoodie paired with a jean jacket and black sweats. His hair was messy and he looked like he had just rolled out of bed. You could see your breath as you called out to him. Your nose was turning pink from the crispy cool air. The wind was making it even chillier.

“Good morning, Y/N.” His morning voice was sleepy and raspy and you weren’t expecting it. “Ready to go?” His voice comes out even deeper than before making your heart flutter.

“Mhm,” You didn’t know how to respond and your words weren’t quite working. He then took your suitcase from you, lifting it as if it were nothing, and handed it to the driver.

The drive to the train station was long and boring. The only entertainment you had was watching Satoru sleep against the car window. It was the most peaceful you’d ever seen him and his nose exhales fogged up the window. You couldn’t help but think how cute he was.

The train ride was even longer than the car ride. You both alternated falling asleep on each other's shoulders. At one point your head was on Satoru’s shoulder while his head laid on yours. When someone coughed you both jumped apologizing that you were so close to one another only to fall asleep on each other once again.

When you had arrived at the Gojo manor you were blown away by how big it was. You knew it would be but for some reason you were still shocked. It was mostly laid out in traditional Japanese and was surrounded by gardens on either side. The winter air started killing most of the plants but you could tell it was probably a magical sight during the summer. It was gorgeous and you couldn’t believe that Satoru grew up here, part of you was jealous. Flurries were starting to fall in Tokyo and the Gojo clan had already started setting up for the annual winter dinner. There were warm string lights all over the main house and anywhere you looked there were poinsettia flowers. Everything about the Gojo manor was elegant and it made you feel a little underwhelming, especially since they wanted you to be married into the family. You were starting to regret your choice in lying to them about being with Suguru.

“You two will be sharing Satoru’s old room.” The butler who was carrying both yours and Satoru’s suitcases announced once you entered the main corridor of the house.

“W-we’re sharing a room?” Your voice cracks a little. Why were you suddenly very anxious?

“Why?” Satoru chimed in, his voice coming out much more stern than yours.

“It was your grandmother who insisted, sir. She said a couple to be wed should bed together.’” The butler replied without looking back at the two of you. You shot Satoru a worried glance and he went to speak up once more in your defense.

“Doesn’t that seem like… bad luck? Please tell grand-moth-” Saturo begins with an awkward scoff but the butler cuts him off.

“She was very insistent, sir, if you wish to go against her please leave me out of it. Plus, if you must know, all the guest rooms were taken by other clan members who are traveling in for the occasion.” He guides you both into what you assume is Satoru’s bedroom and lays your suitcases on a long entryway table before bowing and leaving you both alone.

“Umm,” You try to say something but you’re too nervous to look up at him or look around the room.

“I am so sorry, I don’t know why they’re being like this.” He walks over to you to urge you to look up at him and you do. He reaches up to take his glasses off, he must take them off when he’s home. You know he's usually very sensitive to the light but his room was dark, the walls painted black for that very reason. His eyes look genuine and your breath calms. “Tonight we’ll tell them about you and Suguru and demand they give you a different room. If they don’t I’ll sleep in the grand living room.” You appreciate how sincere he is being, you have to giggle a little at just how rich he is.

You finally look around the room. His bedroom was very sleek and fit his personality perfectly. He had a silk, all-black king bed in the back of the room across from a white-bricked fireplace with a red and black seating area. There was a huge white tiled bathroom connected to the front of the room. When your eyes followed the wall you noticed a grand, partially stained glass window with long curtains that wrapped around a cozy little circular day bed tucked into it. His room felt about the size of the communal kitchen back at Jujutsu Tech.

“It’s okay Satoru, if they don’t listen to us about me being with Suguru then I can just sleep on the day bed.” You smile up at him sweetly and point over to the window.

“I wouldn’t make you do that, you can take my bed and I’ll sleep over there.” He huffs and walks over to the daybed, plopping right onto it as if he is trying to become acquainted with it already. He was being such a sweetheart, it was very out of character for his goofy self.

“Are you kidding? You’re so big your feet would just hang off.” You laugh into your hand before he shoots you an offended look.

“What? No, I’m not! Look!” He scoots up onto the bed and it’s exactly what you thought would happen, his feet were dangling off at the end. The sight just makes you laugh even harder.

“S‘toru it’s okay, really.” You wipe a stray tear from your eye from the scene laid out before you. His goofiness mixed with your exhaustedness was starting to get to you. You walk over to him slowly and lay your purse on the bed next to him. He shifts beneath you, manspreading a little while staring up at you with those gorgeous cerulean eyes of his. The air shifts and you’re almost tempted to crawl on top of him. God, what was going on with you lately? First Suguru, now Satoru? You weren’t even sure if Satoru liked you like that. You weren’t even sure if you liked him like that. While you’re at it, you weren’t even sure if Suguru liked you like that. Was there just something in the air? Plus, this was exactly how you shouldn’t be acting at the Gojo manor, or else they might want you two together even more.

“Okay fine, you’re lucky you have short legs, Sparky.” Satoru leans back on his palms while you stand above him. His eyes rake over your body, stopping on your hips. You wondered if he forgot he wasn’t wearing his glasses. Did he always look at you like this? You would usually call him out for the terrible nickname but this time you allow it. You’re suddenly very shy under his gaze, this has become a normal occurrence for you lately. You instinctively move your arms behind your back as if to show him more of your body. Your eyes flick from his eyes down to his soft, pink lips making you lick yours a little. The tension was causing heat to bubble up inside you. One more second of him looking at you like that and ---

Suddenly there was a knock at the door making you both jump out of whatever trance you were in. It was a different butler than before. God, how many butlers did they have?

“The sun is beginning to set. Dinner is in an hour, sir.”

You both acknowledge the butler and you step back from Satoru disregarding whatever was just happening between you before.

“Okay, I guess I’ll get ready now.” You push your hair behind your ear and face away from him walking toward your suitcase. When you bend over to grab it you hear Satoru jump up.

“Same here, I call the shower first!” Satoru yells and rushes over to the bathroom making your eyebrows furrow in confusion, he must’ve really wanted to shower. You giggle.

Later that evening - Dinner

It was dark outside now and you could hear the wind blow against the windows. There was soft jazz playing from somewhere in the house and you and Satoru were waiting outside the dining hall waiting to be allowed to enter. A butler was standing near the door and you two have been the only two on this side for a couple of minutes now.

“Satoru, I’m nervous.” You rub your clammy palms on your nice, fancy dress. Your family made sure that you brought it. Somehow you felt set up. You didn’t mind, the dress was a burgundy velvet off-the-shoulder maxi dress with a slit in your thigh. You paired it with black heels that brought your height a little closer to Satoru’s, which of course he commented on. You pulled your hair back in a tight low pony and put on some dark red lipstick. Satoru watched you silently the whole time you put on your makeup since he was the first one to be ready.

“Don’t be, you look beautiful.” Satoru’s eyes trail down your body for the second time that night and this time you feel a little more confident. He brings his hand up to your head and you flinch, ducking away from him. You know exactly what he is trying to do.

“Don’t you dare ruin my hair Satoru Gojo, or you will feel my wrath.” You point your finger at him playfully and threaten to shock him with your cursed energy but as he tries his best to avoid your fingertips he almost knocks over a vase that looks like it could buy the entire Jujutsu High School building. His smile grows bigger and he bites his lip playfully. He loved getting under your skin.

You started to chase him down with your hand reaching out for him, small bursts of electricity were escaping your fingertips. Both of you were laughing like crazy and then suddenly Satoru turned around and started chasing you to reverse the roles. Oh shit, you were in trouble now. You tried to run in your heels but you kept tripping which only made you both laugh harder. You knew that once he does a flicking motion you were fucking done for. He would hollow purple your ass. He finally caught up to you and you were already so defeated, leaning over with your hands on your knees and out of breath. He then playfully flicks you on the forehead and helps you to your feet. You were both turned around when you heard a woman clear her throat behind you. Satoru turns around first and you have a feeling you already knew who it was.

“Well, it seems you two were a good match after all.” An older woman who you assume is Satoru’s grandmother says bluntly. She is very short and has solid white hair just like Satoru’s. She appeared to be blind and carried a walking stick. How did she even see you together? Maybe she heard you and Satoru goofing around?

“Good evening, Grandmother.” Satoru suddenly became very formal and hurried over to hug her. Her face lit up with a smile as he bent over to her level and you couldn’t help but think their interaction was precious.

“And you must be the Kashimo girl, Y/N, was it?” She slowly waddles over to you and you flash her a big pearly smile. She grabs your hand and looks directly at you. When you glance into her eyes you notice only one of her eyes was glazed over. So she wasn’t blind like you originally thought.

“Yes ma’am.” You smile and cradle her small hand in both of yours. She was cold and you felt the need to warm her up.

“Such a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” She says as she slips her hand from your grasp, making her way toward the big wooden door. The butler leaves his position to open the door for the lady of the house. “Let’s eat, shall we?” She says giddily.

Your face was flushed, you had noticed Satoru was staring at you the whole time you were speaking to his grandmother. When you look over at him his head is bowed and his cheeks are crimson. It was quite the contrast to his colder features. He gestures for you to walk in first and so you do. His grandmother has you both take a seat across from each other. The table seated twelve and you were placed right next to his grandmother. After a couple of minutes, more and more white-haired clan members poured in until all twelve had been seated. It dawned on you that you were the only non-gojo clan member there. Why did the Gojo clan want to marry off their strongest member? What did they gain from that? Maybe even stronger sorcerers? You were finally starting to question their motives.

Dinner was served as a five-course meal. It started with sakizuke or rather, one-bite appetizers. Then went into plum wine and palate-cleaning soup. Next was otsukuri with a special dipping sauce followed by traditional Japanese rice and vegetables.

You were starting to think the conversation about you and Satoru getting married would never come and part of you was relieved. You had caught Satoru staring at you multiple times throughout dinner. His eyelids were heavy and you knew he was probably just really tired from traveling and moving non-stop, it had been a very long day. At one point he even gave you a worried look to which you smiled sweetly at him and you could visibly see his relief as he went to drink his water. It was easy for you both to communicate with each other with just your eyes. You wished he wouldn’t wear his glasses back at school as much as he did. However, whenever he wanted to speak to you from across the room at school he would usually lower them for you to see him. Somehow you felt closer to him here, away from everything else.

The staff doors open knocking you out of your thoughts. The kitchen staff went around the table placing a little dessert dish in front of everyone. Finally, the dinner was almost over. You took your spoon to dive into the little chocolate dish and --

“Oh, Satoru,” His grandmother requests his attention in a sing-song voice and your heart sinks to the floor. Here we go. He hums in response, his mouth full of chocolate. His hair was messily swept back and starting to get a little unruly. He looked quite handsome tonight in his all-black suit. His eyes dart to you before they return to his grandmother. “As you know, the Gojo clan and the Kashimo clan have agreed to an alliance through a wedding of both of their strongest members.” She gestures to you and then back to him. “This would mean the two of you would be wed spring of next year.” A silence fell over everyone as she spoke directly to you and her grandson. “Then Y/N will be expected to bear a child within two years of the agreed marriage as to solidify the alliance with a child of Gojo and Kashimo blood.” You nearly spit out your water coughing a bit at her bluntness. You find it extremely hard to look at either of them.

“Grandmother, about that,” Satoru removes his dinner napkin from his lap and clears his throat, “Y/N is in a relationship with my closest friend, Suguru Geto.” The light in his eyes disappears and he doesn’t look at you when he says this. Your chest tightens and your eyebrows knit together with a bit of sadness. But you didn’t know why.

“I see.” His grandmother replies calmly. “Well, I don’t know about you but believe it or not I do believe in love.” She pauses before speaking again, everyone at the dinner table falls into conversations among each other again making this a little more bearable. “I saw you two together earlier, and you have never once behaved this well at a family event Satoru.” She chuckles a bit. Your eyes shoot Satoru a questioning look and he looks at you equally confused. “Whether you see it or not, this girl calms you.” She grabs your hand this time, “It’s decided then. We’ll give you both an additional year. The spring after next is when you are to be wed. I do not think this relationship of hers will last the year.” She smiles at you in a weird condescending way, pleased with her decision. You, however, were not sure how to feel. What if you were in a relationship with Suguru? Your lips were parted and you were fidgeting with your dress.

After dinner, everyone shuffled out of the dining room and you were still sitting in your dinner seat. You grabbed the bottle of sake on the table and took two shots of it before Satoru walked over to you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I know this isn’t what you want.” Satoru’s voice is soft as he kneels in front of you and grabs the sake bottle from your hand, his knuckles running over yours gently. He then proceeds to take a shot himself. Surprisingly, you had never seen him drink before, not even all the times Shoko offered him something from her flask. “Don’t worry, I’ll never allow the wedding to go through.” He clenches his jaw. You wonder if he would really defy the Gojo clan just for your happiness.

“Are you okay?” You take the sake back from him and place it on the table so that way you both would be done drinking. He doesn’t answer you right away so you ruffle his hair like he always does to you trying to lighten the mood. His signature smile peaks through and your heart skips a beat.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.” He answers honestly. His eyes were even heavier than earlier.

“Let’s go to bed then.” You run your hand down your thigh slowly to grab his hand which was a mere inches away from you. When you stand up you pull him with you and he groans. “You’re going to have to lead though, I don’t remember where your room is.” You giggle sweetly, feeling the sake shots you had hit you all at once.

Satoru groans again and stares up at the ceiling before spinning and laughing as he sweeps you off your feet one-handed, dragging you down the hallway with him. You were laughing as your heels kept falling off and he had to keep picking them up for you. He was so strong. He had the reputation for being the strongest but you didn’t know that came with physical strength too. You almost felt weightless as he carried you down the hallway. You stared at the beautifully designed ceiling and let your arms fall back a little in his embrace.

Once you both arrived at his room he let you change first. You removed your makeup, took down your hair, and brushed it before bed. You then changed into a button-up silk pajama set that your family also conveniently packed for you. By the time Satoru was out of the bathroom you were already fast asleep in the day bed next to the window. He scoffs a little and contemplates moving you to his bed so you’d be more comfortable but he doesn’t. He watches your face curiously before he gets in bed himself. Your lips were parted sweetly and you looked so innocent. Your hair was splayed out on the pillow behind you and you used one of your hands as an extension of your pillow. He watched as your abdomen rose and fell to the pace of your breath. His eyes shift to your belly button which is only being shown because the last button on your shirt came undone. He moves your blanket up a little to cover you and he diverts his eyes as his face turns beat red for the millionth time that night. He imagines how soft you are and wants more than anything to hold you in his arms and to coo you to sleep. Instead, he walks over to his bed and tries his hardest to not think about you being in his childhood bedroom.

---

A loud crashing sound jolts you awake. Your heart is racing and when you look around it takes you a second to remember you’re at the Gojo estate and in Satoru’s room. You look over and see him lying in his giant bed, literally fit for a king. There is a tuft of white hair sticking out of the blankets and you wonder if the thunder woke him up too.

“S-Satoru?” You whisper yell across the room, suddenly you were a little worried to be sleeping next to a window during a storm.

“What is it sparky?” He grumbles, his voice raspier than ever.

“U-um, I-” Why were you even calling out to him? You had no idea and now you didn’t know what to say. “Nothing, I’m sorry.” You lay your head back on the pillow, heart still racing.

Satoru doesn’t say anything, instead you hear the blankets shuffling beneath him. He then lifts the black feather comforter from his body and approaches you slowly and quietly. The lightning from the storm illuminates his room for a brief moment and you watch him get closer and closer to you. You were splayed out on the bed and staring up at his dark figure. Once he was close enough, he sat on the ground next to you and laid his head on the mattress next to your arm. It was dark but you could still see the contrast of his hair and his bright eyes. Between the lightning and the courtyard lights outside, you were still able to see parts of his face.

“What’s wrong? I can hear your heart racing from over there.” He whispers gently and you tilt your head to look at him more. He can hear you from that far away? Maybe it was his six eyes.

“Nothing, It’s stupid, I’m just afraid of storms.” You tug the blanket up a little and turn your body towards him to lay on your side.

“Y/N, the great-great-great granddaughter of the god of lightning is afraid of storms?” Satoru’s normal voice is coming back a bit as he sits up to tease you. You watch as his Adam’s apple rises when he laughs.

“Hey it’s not the lightning, it’s the thunder that scares me.” You pout a little and he digresses by shooting his arms up in surrender.

“Okay, okay.” Satoru hums as he lays his head back down, this time much closer to your hand. You take the opportunity to play with the ends of his hair. The strands between your fingers were so soft.

“Can you distract me?” Your eyes land on his and your heart finally calms. It felt like he was staring into your soul, as its protector. There was that dominant way about him.

There is a comfortable silence as he thinks of something to talk about. He shifts his body to face away from you as he asks this. His back is against the bed and he wraps his arms around his knees.

“If you ever did decide to get married, on your own accord of course,” He almost instantly regrets asking but he continues anyway, “What kind of man do you want to marry?”

You look up at the ceiling, the question is a good one but very complicated, “I’ve never really thought about it before.” You took a deep breath before continuing, “I suppose if I had the choice, I would marry a nice ordinary man who loved me unconditionally and we would get a small farmhouse far enough away from the sorcerer life that was chosen for me. We would have two, no, three kids and they would all get the choice that I didn’t get. They would be able to choose what they did with their cursed techniques.” You smiled, “Oh, and when there are storms like these my husband would hold me close and cover my ears for me, his only power being able to close me off from the world around me when it gets too scary.”

Satoru fiddles with his thumbs and his mind repeats the words ‘ordinary man’ over and over again. He had never been so jealous of a non-jujutsu sorcerer in his entire life, until now. He was the strongest and now he wished more than anything that he wasn’t. “But,” He pauses, “Suguru isn’t an ordinary man,” He starts and you freeze, finally thinking about what happened last time you saw Suguru. It was hard to think about with the storm.

“Yeah, I know.” You huff out, not sure what he’s getting at. “I-”

Satoru cuts you off, “I saw you two dancing, under the cherry tree.” His chest tightens as he says this.

You’re not sure how much he saw so you tread carefully. “He was just trying to cheer me up. I was… frustrated.”

“Frustrated?” Satoru repeats questioningly, finally looking at you again. He wasn’t asking but he wondered what you meant by that, his mind could only go to one thing. Sexually. He looks away with a tight lip, his fists balling a little.

Satoru goes silent and you watch as if you could see the gears in his head spin. He thinks about Suguru. What if Suguru wasn’t just being friendly? He only saw you both dancing, he walked away a few minutes before the announcement to go to Principal Yaga’s office. It could’ve been friendly but what if it wasn’t? Is he unintentionally ruining something the two of you have? He worries about whether or not he is being a bad friend to Suguru. How could he deny you though, if you asked Satoru to, he would take you right now. You were so sweet and in his childhood bedroom. How could he not? Does that make him an asshole? He doesn’t know. What if --

“Satoruuu,” You practically pur out his name. He finally gives you his full attention, laying his head back on the mattress, his achingly beautiful eyes laced with a pang of sadness you’re starting to understand. “Your distraction didn’t work.” You were shaking a little as another crack of thunder shook the estate. Satoru’s heart is now the one racing. He knew exactly what to do but something was keeping him from doing it. Maybe it was the possibility that his best friend liked you too, even though he never told him that he did. Fuck it.

Satoru raises to his full height and hovers above you for what seems like hours before he finally makes his decision.

“Scoot over, Sparky.” He takes the edge of the blanket and lifts it just enough for him to slide in. You obey and slide closer to the window. “Here, let me take the window side so you’re not next to the storm.” He holds himself up to crawl over you and for half a second you are pinned beneath him, both of you holding your breath and looking away as soon as your eyes meet. His head hits the other pillow and now you’re both facing each other. “Okay, come here.” He situates himself in a comfortable position and reaches his arms out to you. You scoot closer to him and his right arm slides under you to grab your waist and to pull you even closer. His left hand wraps around your head, shielding your ears from the storm as he pulls you into his chest. You’re face to face with his neck so you give in and rest your forehead between his collarbones. You feel his chin take its place on top of your head. It was so comfortable being in his arms, he was warm and his steady breathing made your eyes get heavier with sleep. You were fading out until a loud crack made you stiffen your body again.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He shushes you, whispering into your hair. You could feel the vibration of his voice through his chest and it was oddly even more comforting. He smelled so good, fresh, like berry sake and expensive cologne. The hand around your ear started scrunching into your temples as he scratched your head softly, running his fingers through your hair. You felt his chin move down so that both his lips and nose were now on the top of your head. He inhaled deeply and the fingers in your hair got tighter, he was nearly pulling the strands of hair behind your ears, the motion felt… desperate.

“Satoru,” still in his embrace you lift your head to look at him, shooting him your doe-eyed look he always managed to get out of you. His eyebrows knit together in question as his eyes meet with yours, curious as to what was bothering you now. Your head was still cupped in his big hand, his cheeks were flushed and looked so soft. You wanted to kiss him, badly, anywhere you could. Your eyes flicker to his lips and then back to his cerulean eyes that you loved the moment you first saw him. He looked so innocent and sweet like this, not like the dangerous sorcerer everyone made him out to be. It was the most vulnerable either of you had ever been with one another. You moved up a little so that you are now face to face with him. You lean in closer and he closes his eyes once the tip of your noses touche. His breath hitches and so does yours. Your right hand finds his jaw and you gently rub your thumb over his cheek, it is so soft and warm to the touch. Your foreheads touch and you’re so close to kissing him that you start to rub your thighs together in desperation. He moves his hand from cupping your cheek to gently rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip. You squirm a little as you’re itching to get even closer but both of you are too nervous to make the first move. You’re practically breathing each other in, your lips a mere inch away. Satoru uses his thumb on your bottom lip to guide your lips to his slowly. As soon as your lips meet his, he moves his hand back to cupping your face. His kisses were very soft and gentle but turned to fervent and needy as soon as he heard the first noise escape from your mouth. His lips left yours to kiss the corner of your mouth then your jaw and then your neck before meeting with them again. He hesitantly shifts on top of you. As soon as his lips started to make another round of plastering kisses down your jaw you took the opportunity to speak up. “I-I’ve never,”

“Me either,” Satoru removes his lips from you completely, lifting himself to look at you. You looked a little surprised to hear that it would be his first time too. He was trying to gauge whether or not you wanted to stop. Your face was completely flushed and your hair was splayed out beneath you messily. You brought your hands above your head and bit your lip a little in submission. God, you were so beautiful to him. Especially now, in this lighting, and his childhood bedroom, laid out beneath him like this. “W-we don’t have to,”

“N-no, I want to. I promise.” You bring up your pinky to him and a huge, goofy, Satoru Gojo smile spreads across his face before he takes your pinky in his and kisses it. He sits up and you spread your legs for him, allowing him to move in closer. He takes your face in his hands once more and kisses you passionately. He tests how far he can go by biting your bottom lip a little to which you respond with a cute little whine. He wants to hear more. He wants to hear all the noises you can make. He kisses down your jaw again and when he reaches your collar bone he can’t go any further because of your button-up nightshirt. He sits up on his knees and pulls his black t-shirt above his head, you can’t help but wonder if it's the same one you spilled water on months ago. You stare at his toned chest in awe, running your fingers down the ripples of his abs making him shudder above you. There was a sense of longing as you looked at each other, almost like you both had been waiting a long time for this.

“It’s your turn princess,” You flutter beneath him at the new nickname. You stare into his eyes while teasing him by unbuttoning your silk night shirt slowly. He grows impatient but doesn’t rip it off like he wants to, you were both new to this. Instead, he takes over and unbuttoned them for you. At the bottom of the shirt he rubs his thumb over your lower stomach where he saw your belly button earlier in the night, you are soft, just like he thought you were. The action made you shiver. You just wanted him to touch you. He couldn’t believe he was about to feel all of you. He was so unbelievably lucky.

Your shirt falls to the sides exposing your bare chest to him, your nipples already hard from the way he’s been so gentle with you. His eyes widen with lust and your face burns up even more. Your body was practically begging, you could feel how soaked you were getting just from him staring at you.

“Satoru, baby,” You whine making his ears perk up at your new nickname for him. You were his baby? He could die a happy man now. “Please.” You beg. “Touch me.” It was like music to his ears.

“Your wish is my command, sweetheart,” He was getting cockier with you underneath him like this. He brought his lips to yours one last time before aggressively kissing down your neck, your clavicle, and finally to your chest, leaving love bites as he went. He lays on top of you and in between your legs. You were breathing heavily beneath him as he worshipped your body. He slowly kissed each bud before grabbing a handful of your breasts in each one of his hands. If he wasn’t careful he would finish himself before he even got started. He couldn’t help it, he was such a boob guy especially since these were yours. Finally, he brought his face down to one of your breasts and gently rubbed the tip of his nose over it before licking your nipple and sucking to his hearts' content. He must’ve realized he was being stingy with one part of your body because he could feel your hips buck up into his stomach, begging for attention. He brought his hand down to your hips to play with the band of your shorts. Your whines and moans flushed out the noise of the end of the storm entirely. His fingers dipped into your shorts and snapped the waistband of your panties against your skin. Satoru’s eyebrows were bunched together in pleasure and you felt him trying his hardest not to grind against your leg. He was hard and you just wanted to touch him, to make him feel good too.

“‘Toru” You hum in pleasure and Satoru slowly looks up at you in acknowledgment, one of your nipples still in his mouth. You pull away from him and he frowns. “C’mere, sit.” You position him against the wall and he does exactly what you tell him to. You climb on him, straddling his hips. You move your hair behind your back and move your chest closer to his face, allowing him to continue. He cups both of your breasts in his hands and rubs his face between them, taking turns sucking each one. You on the other hand were rubbing your clothed cunt against his sweatpants, giving him the friction you both were lacking before. He groans loudly into your chest and you kiss his forehead while you ride him slowly. Everything felt way too good, now you were the one about to cum from foreplay alone.

“Y/N,” He removes his mouth from your breast and pulls your head down close to his before kissing you sweetly. You knew he was serious, he never calls you by your name. “I need you to cum for me first.” He was almost comically way too big for this bed. He picks you up and lays you down beneath him once more making you lose whatever sense of yourself you had left. His dominant side was coming out and you submitted. You would always submit to him you thought, for as long as you live. He was still holding back, maybe because it was your first time and he didn’t want to hurt you. His lustful gaze was something you’d never thought you’d get to see. His eyes were locked on yours as he wrapped his fingers around the waistband of your shorts and panties to wiggle them off your body. You were completely naked now. You felt very exposed but you were ready for him. You wanted him so badly, that you would do anything for him. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and kiss him while his fingers find your soft, wet pussy. He didn’t even have to touch you for you to be dripping like this. He spreads you lightly and you open your legs as far apart as you can as he runs his middle and ring finger down your slick and rubs big circles around your lips and clit. His moves were novice but he was so gentle and sensual that everything he was doing felt good anyway.

“Do you like that?” He breathes into your mouth, “Let’s see how tight you are.” He smirks into your mouth as you give him open-mouthed kisses filled with moans. All you could manage was a nod, your forehead hitting his softly.

He slides his longest finger inside you as he moans out your name. It was torture how slow he was going, you arch your back as he bottoms out. Then with a flicking motion, he kisses you again, practically eating your moans for him. He fingers you in and out a few times before adding another. This was your current limit with your own, although he was already much bigger and longer than yours. He makes a scissoring motion to stretch you out and you moan into his neck, biting him a little.

“Satoru,” You whine up at him with watery eyes, “It’s too much” You don’t mean that, you don’t think.

“Does my pretty girl want me to stop?” He asks in a condescending and cocky way while slowly pumping in and out of you, his eyes were heavy-lidded and filled with lust. His hair was the messiest it's ever been and you just wanted him to be inside of you already.

“No, please, I want more,” You breathlessly whimper and he happily obliges. Your lewd noises go straight to the bulge in his pants making him twitch beneath you. He disappears from your mouth, his lips trail down your body again until they stop to meet his fingers buried inside you. He kisses your inner thighs and positions you closer to him. You were suddenly nervous again, having him this close to such an intimate part of your body. He kisses your pussy and watches his fingers slide in your sweet hole to spread you open again. He had never done this before and he was a little overwhelmed with everything he could do to make you feel good. He decides to tongue your clit, making you wiggle beneath him. He felt so good, you couldn’t believe this was his first time. You felt a pressure build up inside of you and you bucked your hips into his tongue harder and faster as you chased the familiar feeling you’ve only ever achieved by yourself. “Satoru, I think I’m going to cum.”

Satoru wraps both of his arms around your legs and attaches his face to your pussy, letting you ride out your orgasm on his face. You moan his name and grip his hair, tugging at the white strands between your legs. He grips your thighs even tighter as he unconsciously rides the edge of the bed to your moans. He was also chasing his high with just your lewd noises and the sounds of your wet slick meeting his tongue. It was so too much and when you came on his face he came in his pants without even meaning to.

You fell back in bed and Satoru wiped his mouth with his shirt that was lying on the side of his bed. He looked so good like this, sweaty and covered in you. You moved closer to him and cupped his face before kissing him gently. You climbed into his lap naked, not giving him a chance to do anything else. He falls back and his hair lands around his head and he looks like an angel, he was just missing a halo. You want to kiss him all over and make him feel as good as he just made you feel. You were also naive though and didn’t know how to express how thankful you were sexually. You decided to mimic what he did to you by kissing down his jaw, his neck, his chest, and down his hips. You put your fingers in his waistband to pull down his pants before he grabs your wrist.

“I, um, kind of came already.” He adverts his eyes shyly and you couldn’t help but kiss him with how cute he was. Did he cream his pants from eating you out?

“Do you think you could cum again?” You ask innocently and his eyes widen, not even considering that that was something he could do.

He nods and you help lift the pants off his hips. Your eyes blink slowly at the sight laid out before you. He was even more beautiful from the hips down. You’d never seen one before aside from the one time you tried to watch porn but you had a feeling if you had to gauge it to the one you had seen you would say Satoru was about the same size, maybe a little bigger. He was not disappointing and if anything you were a little intimidated about how it would fit. He was super pale and in the moonlight, you could see the cum glisten from his tip and somehow even his cock looked angelic. He must’ve felt insecure because he grabbed his shaft and started running his hand up and down causing you to look up at him. Somehow the sight of him touching himself to you was even hotter than anything you had done with him up until now.

You pull your hair back behind your shoulders and bring your face down to him, he continues to pump into his hand so you decide to give him your mouth to help. You run your tongue over the head of his cock and clean whatever slick was from before. He shivers beneath you and you suck, keeping pace with his hand. When you tilt your head to look at him your eyes are heavy with lust and he removes his hand from his shaft to run it through your hair. He bunches it up at the top and you bring your mouth down onto him, attempting to take him all in. You choke a little causing your mouth to salivate even more. He doesn’t push your head down like he wants to, instead, he is very gentle with you and allows you to set your own pace, and ignores his urges. He throws his head back and moans your name making your pussy flutter again. After a few more minutes he pulls you off and you whine from the loss of physical touch. He pulls you towards his chest and kisses you hard.

“I want to be inside you so bad.” He whines into your mouth sexually frustrated.

You kiss him and smile into his neck before guiding him on top of you. “Promise me you’ll pull out?” He shoots his pinky in front of your face and you giggle before taking it in your hand, you couldn’t help but giggle at this little ‘thing’ you had going on with the pinky promises. It was cute.

“I promise,” He breathlessly replies, suddenly very impatient. He kisses your hand before looking down at his cock, lining it up with your entrance. He rubs himself along your folds collecting all the slick that was just pouring out of you at this point. You couldn’t help how turned on you were.

“Satoru, go slow, please,” You beg as you feel his tip kiss the soft lips of your pussy. He brings one of his hands to the side of your face and runs his fingers through your hair again. He rubs a circle on your cheek as he pushes himself in slowly. You bite your lip at the sting and he kisses your nose.

“I would never hurt you… unless you wanted me to.” There are butterflies in your stomach as he slides into you inch by inch. He pulls out to slick more of himself each time to make it easier. He kisses the corner of your lip and your cheek as he bottoms out inside of you. “You’re so tight, I don’t think I’m going to last very long.”

You moan and grip the sheets beside you. “Satoruuu,” You pur his name into his ear and he wraps his arm around your head, cradling you in place. His arm muscles seemed even bigger as they caged you beneath him. Your hands are running down his back. He places his forehead on yours as he pumps in and out of you slowly, then quickens his pace when you get louder. The only sounds are quiet rumbles of passing thunder and the lewd noises his cock makes each time he bottoms out in your pussy.

“Say it again, say my name,” You say his name three more times, each one more breathless than the last. You feel him twitch inside you and you’re so close you can feel you’re teetering on the edge of cumming again.

“Y/N,” He moans into your ear and your face is hot, you’re silently wishing he would’ve called you ‘sparky’ instead. You’re not sure you can handle him calling you by your name. You open your eyes and he’s looking at you. His eyes flicker to your lips and he kisses you tenderly. “Can you cum for me? I can’t go much longer.”

You can’t say anything so you just nod. Your eyebrows bunched together in pleasure. You feel yourself tighten around him and his head shoots up and you have a clear view of his neck, his collar bone and his adam’s apple. He was so hot like this, panting heavily above you.

“Good girl,” His voice is raspy and he pulls you closer to him once more. That was it, that was all he had to say for you to cum around his cock. You can’t even warn him, instead you just moan and arch your back ultimately clenching around him, milking him for all he has. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders and your legs were wrapped around his hips. You had him locked inside you. “I’m gonna,” His moves started getting staggered and messy. He was about to cum. “Y/N, y-you have to let go or I’m going to c-cum inside you-u.” He struggled to get out, his movements were sloppy now. He felt too good but you let go at the last second. Satoru pulled out just in time to cum all over your pretty belly button.

After a few minutes of laying next to each other breathing heavily, Satoru gets up to get a warm wash cloth and uses it to clean you off. You lock eyes and both of your faces turn beat red. You just slept together but you immediately felt shy again. What do you do now? Return to school like normal? You were starting to get stuck in your head again.

“Hey,” Satoru reaches out to cup your jaw. “Do you feel any better?”

“Yeah,” You smile at him sweetly. “Thank you.” You jump into his arms and hug him. He is thrown off at first but eventually wraps his arms around you. You were still naked and your breasts were against his bare chest. You could feel his heart beat beneath you. It was slowing and you felt calm again. You pull away first and he pushes your hair behind your ear. He moves the blanket allowing you to get under.

“Should we move to my bed?” He asks, gesturing his head across the room.

“I don’t know, I kinda like it over here.” You laugh and move over allowing him to get in with you.

“You’re lucky I like you, Sparky,” He gets under the blanket and rests his head on your chest, your heartbeat lulling him. He wraps his arms around your stomach and you gently play with his hair as he falls asleep in your arms. His breathing steadies like how it did on the car window. You never imagined he’d be lying against you in the same way. You let the rain sway you to sleep.

----- You were at the Gojo estate for three more days. Each day was filled with glorious meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It felt like a vacation that you never wanted to leave. You and Satoru had become very playful with each other and would sit together during every meal. He would carry you all around the house, whether on his back or in his arms, your laughs filling the otherwise empty halls. You were extremely giggly and tried to hide it from Satoru’s grandmother whenever she was around, but as soon as you and Satoru were behind closed doors you were immediately on each other's lips, jumping each other's bones. You couldn’t keep your hands off each other. You had honestly lost count of how many times he was inside you.

“Toruuu, I’m going to cum.” You ride out your orgasm while staring up at the ceiling. You were both on his king bed and you felt like you were in heaven sitting on a cloud wrapped in his silk sheets. You were on top of him and his hands were cupping both of your breasts as he massaged them roughly. He was finally getting a little more confident with you. He was too focused on how beautiful you looked using him as a toy to cum. He was honestly content not cumming himself because just before this you were between his legs sucking him into oblivion. He came in two minutes, he couldn’t help it. You looked so good looking up at him the way you did. How could he not?

Or so he thought, you were just too hot. “Y/N, I’m going to cum.” His eyebrows scrunched together and you bit your lip getting cockier with your movements. You pushed yourself down harder and rode him until he was practically whimpering and begging you to get off so he wouldn’t come inside you. “P-Please,” He begs. You liked it when he let you dominate him sometimes. You knew how strong he was and you knew he picks and chooses when to be submissive so you take advantage of the times he is. At the last second you allow him to pull you off of him and you roll over giggling. You were sticky with sweat and felt euphoric. When your head hit the pillow you turn to look at him as he used his hand to make sure he managed to cum on his stomach and not to get it everywhere. You lay on your side and watched him as he finally turned his head to look at you. Both of your cheeks turn red again, it was like every time you slept together you both immediately returned to the way you acted before coming to the Gojo estate.

“We leave tomorrow.” You look at him with a bittersweet look in your eyes. You wanted to live in this moment for as long as you could. You didn’t want to go back to fighting curses, attending school, or even figuring out what happened with Suguru before you left. It was all too much. You hadn’t thought about anything the whole time you were here and it was nice.

As if Satoru could see your mind racing, he reached out and gently rubbed your cheek. You smiled sweetly at him and ran your fingers over his before intertwining your hand in his. “The year is almost over, you won’t have to be a sorcerer for much longer.” He gives you an empathetic smile and you close your eyes, cuddling up to him as he holds you against him. “And in a year from now, you can just tell Grandmother you’re still with Suguru so we don’t have to get married.” He says in an almost monotone voice before he separates from you to clean himself off. You furrow your brows and your heart sinks a little.

#bryannawrites #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #geto x reader #suguru x reader #satoru x reader x suguru #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu sorcerer #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu geto #Youtube

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the-milk-monarch · 6 months

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☣︎ Context - I am a dum dum and accidentally wrote a different story for Tyler bc I didn't understand the assignment well, or perhaps that's what you wanted? idk gee I love being autistic /s (from future/in making @yeetusdeefetus ask (Alejandro finished so far 💯))

【 TYLER GETS A CRUSH ON A GUY 】 Summary: After his (ex) girlfriend forgot who he is, Tyler focuses on his boy friend and protects him in a challenge. ☢︎ | masculine reader ☢︎ | Total Drama ☢︎ | Tyler

Tyler was drawn to you after he gave up on Lindsay, who forgot who he was.

He didn't know why, but he wanted to spent each minute with you.

He assumed it's because you were such a cool bro to hang out with.

And you knew his name!!

You were friends before, but most of the time he wanted to hang out with his (now ex) girlfriend, because she used to bring him so much joy.

But now that she forgot him, his attention focused on you.

One day however he started to think more about his dating life situation.

He wasn't quite sure what he felt, but after initial sadness of Lindsay not recognizing him he felt quite- fine??

He was still very unhappy, don't get him wrong, but he wasn't like- depressed.

That made him think about the possible reason, which made him think about you.

That realization hit him like a train.

He "likes girls!" after all.

As if on cue, you appeared on his radar.

You noticed he was looking kind of upset, but you weren't sure if you should approach.

After some thinking though you decided to finally walk up to him.

Once he noticed you nearing his way, he started acting more fidgety and anxious.

You asked if he's okay, to which he responded with a nervous and obviously trying to be cool "Of- Of course Y/N! Why do you ask??"

You carefully asked if it's because of Lindsay, trying to remain lighthearted and supportive towards him.

He stopped for a moment before responding, trying to find appropriate words.

"…Yeah! I just want my girlfriend to recognize me, you know??" He told you, although his expression changed to a more hesitant one.

You spotted his slightly pink cheeks and him side-eyeing you when you weren't looking.

"B-But I mean- They say there's lots of fish in the sea, eh??" He said, trying to lighten up the mood, in his own goofy way. "I will just search for the fish on land!"

You chuckled at his words that didn't make sense.

"Wait- There must be some odd fish that walk on land, right??" Tyler trailed off a little with his side thoughts about what he just said.

You laughed softly again.

"Well, we all were once fish that walked on land, so- I guess?" You say playfully, amused by your own conclusion.

He seems to be glad that you're not calling him stupid, and even a bit proud of himself.

"Well- In any case- If you don't have anyone to hang out with, feel free to come to me sometime." You put your hand on his shoulder in a friendly and supportive manner, which made Tyler's cheeks hotter.

"Eheh-" He mixed a bashful chuckle with "uhuh".

After that conversation Tyler was all over you in a few days.

It was like impressing Lindsay again, but this time it was you.

He tried to be smooth and low-key while catching your attention, but the whole team (even including you, being slightly suspicious about him) knew that he had a massive crush on you.

"Hey Y/N!" He waved at you once Chris announced that you'd need a partner on your next challenge coming up. "Y/N!! Here! Tyler! Do you wanna pair up?"

You sighed, keeping a defeated smile on your face. This man was killing you, but you enjoyed his silly behavior.

"Sure, Tyler, we can pair up," You approached him, making him let out a victorious and a bit goofy "yeah!".

Chris had made up yet another stupid and possibly dangerous challenge, where Chef would be firing items thru his cannon while you go do an obstacle course.

The cannon was a surprise, as Chris didn't disclose that to you all.

Chef had pointed the thing at you, letting it fire with a loud "boom".

A flying pillow flying at full speed almost hit you, but you managed to swiftly avoid it, letting out a quiet gasp.

Chris and Chef snickered at that.

Tyler noticed that you were in danger, so he quickly ran up to you, jumping in front of second object that was supposed to hit you.

The flying chicken toy and Tyler squeaked at the same time as it hit him.

You were worried something happened to him but he optimistically (albeit a bit in pain) raised his hand in a thumbs up.

Fortunately you both were able to complete the challenge without too many bruises.

Tyler was roughed up a bit, but he didn't wanna complain in front of you.

After you both were somewhere alone, you approached him to thank him for being your "hero".

He blinked at you once, processing the words that came out of your mouth, but after he did, he grinned proudly and a bit flustered.

"Yeah, it was nothing." He said while red on his cheeks matched his outfit.

"How shall I ever repay you?" You asked playfully.

"Oh, um…" He stopped for a moment, deep in thought. You chuckled softly, seeing how preoccupied he was with figuring that out.

You were feeling brave after today, being like 95% sure he was into you, so you decided to be a bit bold.

You kissed him on the cheeks while he was still in the process of figuring out what to respond, making his eyes go wider and his cheeks getting redder.

"Wow-" He muttered with his jaw widened a bit. "Is- Is that enough?" You asked, looking at his face in a bashful amusement.

"Hell yeah!" He grinned widely.

"… Wait- Does that mean I have to repay you for that kiss as well??"

#total drama x reader #td tyler x reader #total drama #headcanon #x reader #total drama tyler x reader #imagine #request #ask #masculine reader #masc!reader #masc reader #tyler

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unreliablesnake · 1 year

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Hold it together when the world’s on fire (Simon “Ghost” Riley x reader)

Summary: After Soap dies during a mission, Ghost suffers from survivor’s guilt and depression. You’re there by his side both during and between missions, but sometimes you wonder if you’re enough to help him through this.

Note: Based on “Hold it together” and “World’s on fire” by Mike Shinoda. Soap, I’m so sorry. You were loved by all of us. Alex is a part of the team. Unedited story because I'm too lazy after work. What do you think?

Warnings: major character death (obviously), drug abuse, reader has a sister, brother-in-law, nephew, and parents.

Neither of you handled Soap's funeral well.

You took Simon's hand the moment he returned to stand by your side, squeezing it tightly when he looked down at you for a moment. He had fallen apart after Soap died, and he hadn't been himself ever since. But you were there by his side, and so was the rest of the team.

His eyes were shining from a few stray teardrops, something you never thought you would see on a man like him. Maybe watching as they buried the casket made it real, made him understand that he truly lost one of his brothers. Because that's what Soap was–his brother.

It should've been me. I shouldn't have sent him there. I fucked up, it's on me. If I went there myself he would still be alive.

Price had said it was probably the survivor's guilt speaking when he said these things. It shocked you at first, not understanding how he could say something like this, and making you wonder if he truly believed what he told you. You'd been together for almost two years now, but you'd never seen him be this low.

"Are you okay?" you asked quietly, putting a hand on his arm while you sat in the backseat of a car with him.

Price was driving, taking Gaz, Simon and you back to the hotel you were staying in. Laswell and Alex were closely behind, probably talking about work as usual on the way there.

You waited for Simon's answer, but he was just staring ahead without saying a word. In the rearview mirror your gaze met Gaz's, and he flashed a supportive smile at you when he noticed the worried look on your face.

Back in the hotel Price asked the two of you to follow him to somewhere less crowded, then told Simon it wouldn't be wise to let him back on the field just yet. "You need some time to get your head on straight," he said. "I'll send you the contact info of a therapist who specializes in these cases."

"I'm fine," he told him darkly.

But the captain wasn't stupid. "You're clearly not."

When your boyfriend took a deep breath, ready to speak up again, you placed a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. "He's right, Simon, you need time. Be happy that you'll have the whole bed to yourself when I'm gone," you added with a small laugh, hoping this could cheer him up a little.

"Oh, no, you're staying home with him," Price informed you. "You'll make sure he's okay."

It was an order. There was no need for you to try and resist, so you just nodded. Simon suddenly took your hand, but he didn't look at you. He didn't even look at his superior, instead his gaze turned to his shoes.

Two days later the trip from Scotland to England passed mostly in silence. Simon still didn't feel like talking, the only sounds leaving his lips were quiet yeses and nos, maybe mixed with an occasional I don't know.

"I'll take a shower then hit the bed," he said when you entered your apartment in the evening.

After driving for four hours, it wasn't surprising to hear him say that. You didn't question if he was tired or depressed. Probably both, deep down you knew that, but you were clever enough not to push him. "He'll come out of his shell and talk to you when he's ready," Laswell had assured you when you said goodbye.

Later in the night you woke up, instinctively knowing Simon wasn't sleeping well. Another nightmare. You could tell that from the rapid way his chest was heaving, how he was tossing and turning, and how he mumbled a few words in his sleep, as if he was hurrying someone to move.

Maybe he was talking to Soap. Again.

But it didn't seem to be a severe one, there was no need to wake him up just yet. So you let out a sigh then leaned over to put a hand on his cheek and give him a very soft kiss. Sometimes it helped to calm him down, it was worth a try this time too.

Simon stopped moving around and from what you could tell, his breathing also slowed down. Good. You laid back down to get back to sleep yourself, but soon you felt his arm wrap around your waist as he pulled you close to him.

"Thank you," he whispered into the nape of your neck, probably still half asleep.

••••••••

The weekend arrived soon, and you were invited by your sister to your nephew's sixth birthday party. Simon liked that kid, so you convinced him to jump in, give him his present, and say hi. "We don't have to stay long," you told him kindly before leaving the apartment.

"Maybe being among people will avert my thoughts for a while," he said, surprising you with this answer. Seeing the look on your face, he was quick to add his therapist was the one to suggest this.

There were a bunch of noisy kids at the party, with their parents standing in smaller groups, talking to each other. You didn't know most of them, so you and Simon flocked with your family in the living room, while the rest of the guests were outside with the children.

Your family knew about Soap's death. Well, they knew a friend of yours had died, so they were extra nice with Simon that day. Every time someone new arrived, they asked you two how you were holding up. He didn't really know what to say apart from a short fine.

When it was time for the cake, everybody gathered outside around a table and watched as the kids went crazy from the sugar rush. Some guy came over to your small group that included your sister, your brother-in-law, and your parents, and a guy you didn't know who brought up his three kids and some weird joke they brought back home after a sleepover.

"What has two legs and bleeds?" Simon suddenly asked, surprising you by speaking up for the first time that day. Your family glanced over at him with a concerned look, and you were just about to stop him when he said, "Half a dog."

No one laughed.

"Who the fuck says such a joke on a kid's birthday party?" asked the unknown guy, sounding offended by the joke.

Simon casually looked around, then he turned back to the man and spoke in the most uninterested voice you'd ever heard from him. "I don't see any kids nearby," he stated.

"Simon!" you warned him, only to earn a raised eyebrow from your boyfriend.

After a few seconds of silently staring at each other–you waiting for an apology, him waiting for an explanation as to why his joke was inappropriate–he eventually raised his hands and told you he would wait in the car.

Letting out a sigh, you turned to your sister with an apologetic smile. "I'm so sorry, he hasn't been himself lately. It would be for the best if we left now. Thank you for everything," you said quickly, then rushed out of the garden as fast as you could.

His dark sense of humor was lovely, but it definitely didn't belong to a six year old kid's birthday party. It was painful to see him be so out of place, especially since he had a good relationship with your nephew. But today there was no sign of it, he barely interacted with the boy.

Once you were sitting in the passenger seat of the car, you turned to him and asked, "Are you okay?"

"It was just a stupid joke," he muttered under his breath.

You wanted to tell him that the guy had been right about this not being the time and place for this particular joke, but in the end you remained silent. Deep down you knew he knew it was a small mistake, although you also knew that he wouldn't admit that, not even to you.

Instead of giving him a lecture, you just leaned over to pull him into a tight hug, stroking his back with your hand. "It's okay," you told him. "I'm sure they understand."

••••••••

"Hey, John," you said into the phone as you walked down an aisle in the grocery store.

"How's Simon?" asked the captain, sounding just as concerned as he had been ever since Soap's death. You came to a halt and remained silent which obviously caught his attention. "That bad?"

You let out a sigh and picked up a cereal to take a closer look at it. "No, I just tried to figure out what to say. I mean, he's better than he was two weeks ago, but he still zones out sometimes, he barely sleeps, like two or three hours tops. And even then he often has nightmares."

"And how's therapy going?"

"He's there two times a week. It's helping, he sometimes does or says things he heard there. But he still blames himself, and he still says every now then that it should have been him who died that day," you added with a groan. It was hard to hear it, and it was just as hard to talk about it.

Price remained silent on the other end of the line, either trying to process what he just heard or thinking about how to continue. Maybe it was both, you weren't sure. "When do you think he can come back?" he asked.

That was a good question. "Honestly, he would go back right away if he could. He says it would take his mind off of everything, but I'm not sure," you admitted.

"Yeah, he didn't sound convincing to me either," he replied with a sigh. "I talked to Alex, he's okay with keeping an eye on him on the field, and you could join his group to be there, but–"

"Would that be a good idea? Wouldn't he be afraid of losing me too?" you asked, interrupting him.

In the beginning you worked with Simon, but once you got together and the team found out, John insisted on separating the two of you. He wasn't sure if Simon could give you strict orders on the field, if he wouldn't favor you over Soap–which was something he definitely didn't need on his team.

"That's true," Price admitted. "But you know more about how to comfort him now than any of us. Maybe you could help him focus."

As you put two bottles of soda into your shopping cart, you thought about his suggestion. It could work, you and Alex being there by his side to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. But what if you get separated on the field? You can't be glued together all the time.

So you took a deep breath and began to walk again. "We can give it a shot. I'll talk to him when I get home and see if he'd still like to go back to work," you said.

"All right. Send me a text with his answer," Price asked you. "Take care, we'll talk later."

You said goodbye and ended the call, putting the device into the pocket of your jacket. A quiet voice in the back of your mind kept telling you it was a bad idea, that maybe it would only put Simon in danger. He still wasn't himself, he probably wouldn't be able to give out proper orders just yet.

When you got home, the apartment was empty and eerily quiet. He was probably still in the gym, the only place where he could be alone according to him. Then you remembered something from the past. You suddenly began to laugh at the memory of all of those stupid little competitions Soap had started with Simon in the gym, both of them eager to prove they were faster, stronger, and had better stamina than the other.

To pass the time, you sat down on the couch and opened a streaming service on the TV to see if there was anything to watch until he got home. But you were just flipping through the titles, one less exciting than the other–your mind was way too worried about Simon to even think about entertainment.

Then you finally heard the lock turn and he finally entered the apartment, throwing his duffel bag near the living room door before walking over to the couch. "What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes momentarily turning to the screen. "You're not watching anything?"

"No. But I have a feeling I won't watch anything in the end," you told him with a short laugh, your eyes moving up from his crotch to his masked face.

There was a strange look in his eyes, one you hadn't seen in a while now. He looked excited and energized, not like someone who just returned from a two-hour workout session. There was also a hint of desire, although you weren't quite sure about that.

You hadn't had sex with him since the incident, but you knew that despite desperately wanting every piece of him, you had to be patient. He would come around eventually, but he had bigger problems than satisfying your needs right now.

"Good," he said, drawing a questioning hum out of you.

But Simon remained silent, he only took off his mask that landed on the couch next to you, then leaned down to scoop you up. With your hands automatically moving to the back of his neck, you took a closer look at him. You were right, that look in his eyes definitely mirrored his desire.

But his pupils weren't right, they were dilated. It could be because of the dim lights of the living room, but you were afraid it meant something else, something more dangerous. Could he be stupid enough to use drugs with his brother's history?

He lowered your body onto the bed before gently kicking your legs wider apart to get into position between them. His hands were resting next to your head, and he slowly leaned down to give you a soft kiss, one that became deeper, hungrier, and more feral as the seconds passed.

"Simon," you tried weakly as his lips moved on to your neck.

"Shhh," he tried to silence you.

But you didn't want to stay quiet, you wanted to ask him if he was high. So you reached out to seal his mouth with your hand, causing him to let out a deep growl. He opened his mouth and tried to bite you gently, but you gave him a warning look that made him stop.

You curled the fingers of your other hand around his muscular shoulder, stroking the rough skin with your thumb as you looked him in the eye. "Give me an honest answer, Simon. Are you high?" you asked him seriously.

Instead of replying, he reached up to peel your fingers off of himself then intertwined his fingers with yours and pressed them against the bed above your head. "I missed you so fucking much, sweetheart," he murmured against your lips.

"Answer my question."

He raised his head to look you in the eye and let out a sigh. "Do we really have to do this?" You raised an eyebrow at him, getting fed up with his bullshit. The more he avoided the answer, the more suspicious you were. "Fuck," he muttered under his breath.

Suddenly he let go of you and sat down on the other side of the bed, his head buried in his hands. "Simon, drugs won't solve your problem," you said the obvious as you sat up as well and buried your fingers in his hair. "Listen, I talked to John today and we were discussing whether or not you should go back to work."

His eyes found your face, eagerly waiting for you to continue. You weren't mad at him, you were just sad that he made the wrong choice. You thought he was getting better, that he had learned how to handle his grief by now, but apparently you were wrong.

"Was this your first time?" you asked him quietly, and he nodded in response. "Can it stay this way? Can you resist the urge to use this shit again?"

"If it means I can go back, then yes," came his response.

You let out a sigh and took his hand in yours. "Alex and I will work with you when you return," you began to explain. "John asked him to keep an eye on you until you get used to being back on the field. But after tonight…"

Your voice faded and he knew what it meant. "I already told you, it was a one-time thing," he assured you quietly, leaning over to rest his forehead against yours. "I saw what drugs did to Tommy, I won't make the same mistake, I promise. I just… I was in the gym and remembered something and I just needed something to take my mind off of everything, you know?"

"Mmm-hmm," you hummed before placing a soft kiss on his cheek. "Listen, I'll buy some drug tests and you'll do one every day for the next… Let's say ten days. If you're always clean, I'll tell John that you're ready to return."

Simon let out a sigh, but he nodded eventually. When you flashed a sweet smile at him, his hand moved under your shirt, long fingers moving up your spine that made you arch your back a little. "I'm so fucking hard, baby, why don't we do something about it, huh?" he asked as he kissed your neck.

"You should get some sleep," you told him, although your voice came out as a whisper.

"It's been so long, I'm sure you've been missing me. I should fuck your sweet, beautiful brains out before sleeping," he mumbled against your skin, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine.

Every cell in your body was craving him, but the fact he was high on some shit told you it was the perfect opportunity to teach him a lesson. You take drugs? Fine, no sex for you. So you pushed him away and cleared your throat as you gave him an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, but not tonight."

"Are you punishing me for being high for once in my entire fucking life?" he asked, sounding angry.

You nodded. "I prefer it when you're clean," you said, then climbed out of bed and returned to the living room.

••••••••

Three weeks later you could finally join the team again, but everybody seemed to be walking on eggshells around Simon. He noticed and he hated it, but decided not to say anything. He only mentioned it to you, telling you how frustrating he found this treatment.

"It's good to see you again, Ghost," Alex said with a wide smile when the two of you walked over to him for the first time.

Simon nodded and shook his hand. "So you'll be my babysitter, huh?"

"Yeah, it seems like it. But whatever you say goes. I'll only step in if something's wrong with the order in that situation," he assured him.

You gulped, carefully examining Simon's eyes through his plastic skull mask. When you looked over at Alex, you noticed he was doing the same, cautiously watching the lieutenant and trying to decide his movements.

Before he could say anything, Gaz showed up, telling you Price's briefing was about to begin. You followed him, and inside you and Simon sat down next to each other.

You soon saw him rapidly tapping his feet out of the corner of your eye, so you reached out and placed a hand on his knee to calm him down. He glanced over at you, then put his hand on top of yours, his fingers carefully leaving with your own.

After an hour or so everybody left the room, but the two of you stayed behind, silently agreeing to have a quick chat. You looked around, making sure there was truly no one left there, and then pulled up his mask to his nose so you could give him a gentle kiss.

Soon you pulled the mask back down and looked at him with a small smile. "I'm proud of you, Simon. You seem to be a lot better lately."

"I am better," he told you with a sigh. "I'll keep going to therapy when we're home. And if it wasn't for you…"

With a short laugh, you reached out and took his hand. "I'll always be here for you. Never forget that," you said.

"I love you."

It had been a while since he had last told you this. It was as if his brain had forgotten how to say these words, but you knew it wasn't intentional. So you flashed the brightest smile at him before you replied, "I love you too."

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost #ghost x reader #modern warfare #mw2 #john soap mactavish #modern warfare ii #john mactavish #john price #kyle garrick #kate laswell #alex keller #modern warfare 2

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robsterskellington · 4 months

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After watching Hazbin Hotel, I got a little bit of brainrot, thinking about how Vaggie's love for Charlie helped her regrow her wings. I noticed that while Lucifer is considered "fallen", he still has his wings, so I wrote a small dumb thing lol.

"I still don't know how they grew back, exactly..." Vaggie had her Angel wings stretched out, allowing Alastor and Charlie to have a look. Carmine did hint that it was Vaggie's love for Charlie that allowed them to grow back, but surely that was too simple?

Lucifer had moved into the Hotel after the last Extermination, since it was an excuse to spend time with his daughter again, but also because... being lonely *really fucking sucked*. He watched the scene and tilted his head, "Well, love is the only thing able to heal broken wings."

Well, that answered that. Alastor tilted his head with a wide grin, "Is that right? And how would a *fallen* Angel who kept his wings know that?"

"Al..." Charlie hissed slightly- she didn't want them at each other's throats, too scared of not having her dad around anymore. However, she was curious, especially when she saw the expression on Lucifer's face. That was when she realised: "Dad... did- did the Angels take your wings?!"

Lucifer laughed nervously, "Fuck. Yeah, actually. Adam himself sliced my wings off with some kinda Holy sword. Actually, Vaggie and I are twinsies!" That was when he turned his back with his wings out. Vaggie looked then saw what he meant; both Lucifer and Vaggie had scars where their wings connected to their backs!

Charlie also noticed and gasped softly before looking at her dad, "Mom fixed your wings?"

"...no, actually. Well, partly." He smiled warmly, and began to tell a little story: "Years after falling, and seeing the consequences of my actions, I hit one Hell of a depression. The light in the darkness was your mother. She made me laugh, relax, and much like you, she never let me give up on my dreams."

Everyone had sat on the couch listening to Lucifer explain, though he never said anything dirty, even when Angel asked: "Did she top ya?"

Lucifer was blushing while Alastor froze with a wide eyed expression, having what Husk had dubbed an *asexual panic*, and Niffty just giggled like an idiot. Vaggie chastised him in Spanish while Charlie cringed, "Angel, I don't need to know about my parents *doing it*."

Angel was about to argue, but Lucifer cleared his throat, "Well... intimacy had something to do with it. It certainly helped with the depression."

"Fuckin' called it." Angel laughed while Alastor covered his face, and Vaggie held Charlie's hand.

That was when Lucifer had an expression he'd never had before, like he was peaceful, "I had a bad day. I was just sat at my desk, not doing anything, I had no strength. That was when Lilith walked up to me, and told me that she had the best news. I wasn't sure what she meant, until she took her hand, and pressed it against her stomach." He put his hand against his own stomach as he said this, and everyone understood.

That was the day Lilith and Lucifer became parents. Charlie felt tears well up in her eyes as Vaggie squeezed her hand, but Alastor seemed to have a more genuine smile on his face this time, "It wasn't the news itself that healed you, was it?"

Lucifer rolled his eyes, "Ugh, I hate that you get it. No, it wasn't." He looked at his daughters face and smiled, "As an Angel, I obviously have the powers of creation, and I could *feel* your soul within your mother. That tiny life I created by a method that some Angels thought was impure. And it was like when your soul sensed me, it grew brighter. Next thing I knew..." He extended his wings, a bright smile on his face.

Charlie let her tears fall as she ran to hug her father, who held her close. He pulled away slightly, cupping her face in his hands and wiping her tears before kissing her forehead.

Husk was the one to summarise the story for Niffty and Angel, who did get it, they just needed confirmation: "Old Fairy Tales talk about True Love and how it can heal anything. Charlie's love, and the love people have for her, gave two people important to her back their wings."

And with her love, they'd never lose them again.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin niffty #hazbin husk #hazbin vaggie #hazbin lucifer

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actualbird · 11 months

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this sounds rly weird to say but stick with me - i wish luke would get ill in canon. obviously he has a terminal illness which would weaken his immune system and while it’s great he’s physically fit i mean SURELY he’s way more susceptible to getting seriously ill from a cold/the flu, right?? idk i think i just want to see him being taken care of bc he deserves it but also i do like the idea of him being taken care of by the nxx and them looking out for him when he gets seriously ill from a virus/bug etc etc

i got this ask Before main story 9 dropped but only after did i wanna answer it because i totally feel u.....

i feel like tot doesnt let luke get smaller ails in canon because hes already dealing With The Big One Thats Killing Him (any more wld be overkill?). and though it's also true that neurological conditions dont necessarily always affect the immune system, it's still a dang shame cuz like u, i'd adore a story where it's the others taking care of him when hes down with a bad case of the flu....and given recent main story events, i reALLY WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE TEAM HELP LUKE WITH A LOW-STAKES AIL :(((

in true luke fashion, he'd probably keep it under wraps and make excuses until his absence at an nxx meeting cannot be ignored and they crash his apartment to see him in a MISERABLE little pile of blankets trying to remedy this by himself

mc: why didnt you tell us!!!! >:O

luke: it's not a big deal :( it's just the flu and already called aaron for doctor's advice and meds and everything, i can take care of myself

vyn: have you been hydrating?

luke, nervously: ..............yyyyyes?

artem, looking in his fridge: theres nothing in here but peanut's treats, what have you been feeding yourself?

luke, still nervously: ffffood?

marius, finding a pack of sliced bread near his bed: dude, have you just been eating bread???

luke, increasingly nervously because hes fighting for his life out here: i cant stomach anything else for some reason!!!

mc: uh huhhhh, you seem to be doing a Great job at taking care of this yourself :/

luke: ;-;

cue the team helping out: helping in cleaning the place up (when luke is miserable his place gets even Messier), cooking simple foods (artem's soup to the rescue), etc etc. luke would be So apologetic during the whole thing, constantly apologizing for being a bother, which is both depressing and grating to hear. mc almost wants to take two piece of sliced bread and sandwich luke's face in them to tell him "STOP SAYING SORRY!!!" but she knows thatll probably make him feel worse, so she restrains herself

for all luke's apologizing, he does feel better with the team helping out. but then he feels bad about feeling better (because HOW DARE HE....AFTER HE INCONVENIENCED THEM ALL!!!) and it's this terrible ouroboros of shame

eventually, mc sends the other boys out on a grocery run to help stock luke's fridge with fruits and other good snacks-for-sick-person, and alone in luke's apartment she sits next to him.

mc: hey, tell me the truth. you knew you were doing a cruddy job at looking after yourself, you knew you shouldve asked for help. why didnt you?

luke: ...i dont...like it...i dont like you or the others seeing me like this

mc: pathetic?

luke: i mean, yeah. but i meant....sick. i dont like you guys seeing me sick. because of, yknow.....being sick and useless and helpless, it feels like a prelude, and everyone else is burdened picking up the pieces around me.

mc: oh

luke: yeah

mc: hm. youre an idiot

luke: ????

mc: i cant speak for the others, but i can tell you that i surely dont mind seeing you like this if it means i can help. dont you always tell me to rely on you more? how about you return the favor, luke. let us help, sometimes. let me help.

and we all know shes way too good at setting up a winning argument.

by the time the others get back, luke is a more cooperative patient and a less-apologetic one. in the back of his mind, he figures it cant hurt to let himself feel okay getting help every once in a while.

#tears of themis #if theres no comfort in main story then homemade is fine...#luke pearce #tot rosa #asks #anon #tot luke #xia yan

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moonlight-tmd · 5 months

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ok so I was thinking about the Amica bond (specifically bout bee & bulk) and how it's kinda like the Conjux bond; while they can feel each other's presence and emotions it's faded, like they can't fully understand it but it's there. idk it's my take on it. anyway, say that the rest of team prime doesn't know of bee and bulk's Amica bond.

how funny would it be when bee senses that bulk is in trouble and without warning dashes straight towards where bulk is (and vice versa). the team would be so confused on how both bee and bulk know where the other is at random given moments of danger without a signal/warning/comm. or anything

Lol yeah, just Bulkhead suddenly stopping mid-sentence and driving out of base and everyone's so confused and then he comes back with semi-dented Bumblebee.

It just keeps repeating- tho it's most often Bulkhead who leaves and comes back with Bee than Bee with Bulkhead. (little man's got troubles for days-)

I never knew how Amicas worked so i came up with my own idea of it; it's like the Conjunx sparkbond but not that intense- as in they have a vague idea of what the other is feeling (sad, happy, scared, etc) but there is no exact emotion pointed. Amicas also don't feel what their other is physically feeling, for example Conjunxes would feel each other's pain if one was hurt and would react too, the one's emotions can also affect how the other feels. And while Conjunxes can send like, a short visions of what they see to the other thru their bond, Amicas only have a feeling of where to go in order to find each other. There is this presence both parties have of their significant other in them but with Amicas it is very faint. Like, Conjuxes have ot touch Sparks in order for the bond to form. Amicas are made with light emmiting from the baren Spark- there is no physcial bridge for the energy to flow and form a strong bond, hence why Amicas' feelings are muted in comparison to Conjunxes.

I imagine it happened after the Wasp incident when he replaced Bee. Bee was sad and a little disappointed than none of his friends noticed it wasn't him. Not even Bulkhead- at least not at first. Wasp was fooling him a good while before the big bot finally noticed something was off.

Bee and Bulkhead had quite a story together- the big bot tried his best to befriend the minibot back at bootcamp but never succeeded, the yellow bot just kept pushing him away. Only after one of the rougher encounters with Wasp, Bulkhead found Bee sitting all alone crying. Bee argued to leave him alone but Bulkhead didn't and they talked. It turns out Bee was depressed and most likely suicidal from all the torment from Wasp. That one moment is all it took for them to become nearly inseparable.

Soon enough Bulk got to learn Bee's true nature as a prankster, he pulled a rather malicious prank on Sentinel and was having one heck of a fun time with it. Then Longarm came along and Wasp was deemed a traitorous spy. The trio had a good time together until Bee got kicked out. Bulkhead was short from getting the degree so Bee secretly hung around the ship until Bulkhead was out and he got him a job as a repair bot in the same squad.

It was after Wasp came and impersonated Bee Bulkhead felt that it was time to do something. They became Amicas, life-long best friends.

It sure as hell was awkward at first but they got used to the new feelings pretty quickly. And obviously, they did not bother to tell the others about it.

I think the team only learned that they were Amicas when they were trying to find Bee after they split up to scout the forest for some mission and Bee did not come back on time. They were in the middle of talking about what he must be doing when Bulkhead spoke up with a disappointed yet concerned face. "He's in trouble again."

He didn't answer any immediate questions, just started walking in a direction and yup, sure enough Bee was fighting for his life with the weird non-sentient insecticon creatures Blackarachnia conjured up out of nothing again.

"You two aren't telling us something here." Ratchet was fed up with this, it was primus-knows-which-time this happened.

Bee and Bulkhead were just like "Didn't you tell them?" "No, I thought you told them?" "What? No I thou- oooh I see what happened." "Oh.. Yeah." "Yeah, we forgot to tell you."

"Tell us what??" "We're Amicas." And Bee said that so nonchalantly before talking about what he found so far. The others were literally bewildered while Ratchet facepalmed. It was unreal how they took such a big commitment as something on the same level of importance as a reminder to take out the trash, for example.

I think Bulkhead would be so used to covering for Bee when he gets in trouble he know immediately when he did a prank and is on the run from consequences. Like, he'd be minding his own business painting in his room when all of a suddent he'd get this phantom feeling of adrenaline and he knows. He's just doing the little countdown and Bee bursts into his room begging to hide him quickly. "No I didn't see him, although I think I saw some yellow speeding down the hallway a moment ago." Bulkhead said when Optimus came to ask about Bee with some oddly and overly sparkly spots on his plating.

Bee put transparent glitter in his polishing paste. Okay, that one is funny, he has to admit.

Also, i think Bee would try to do the whole Amica rite with Sari after she gets upgraded. He'd aks Bulkhead first if he was okay with it- even if there was no need, according to Bulkhead Bee can have as many life best friends as he likes and vice versa. So yeh, Bee takes Sari for a fun day, just them 2 and then does the whole 'you are important to me' rite. He kinda has to teach her how to reveal her Spark-Heart thing cuz she's still learning about her techno part. And so- tadah! Those two are also Amicas.

And yeah, i think that's it. Thank you for the ask!

#maccadam #tfa #ask box #tfa bumblebee #tfa bulkhead #tfa headcanons #tfa sari #long post

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trollprincess · 5 months

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Okay, so some of you might not know this because I did this before I returned to Tumblr from the bird site, BUT. Last year I dictated almost two entire books to my phone.

Let me explain. One of my jobs is a twelve-hour weekend night shift. Six PM to six AM Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so thirty-six hours with the other four hours paid just as long as we do the entire weekend. I first took it so I could have the rest of the week off, and then proceeded to go back to work at dog camp those days. For the most part, over the last five years, I have only have Mondays completely off solely because that’s when my therapy sessions are.

Anyway, my weekend job is full-time, dog camp is part-time. The weekend job is factory work, making helmets, a lot of which are for the military. (Which, as a pacifist, I manage to stomach because hey, it’s just protective gear.) The thing is, like a lot of manufacturing work, it’s boring and repetitive. Think about how bored you are after five or so hours of an eight-hour shift. Now imagine it’s one o’clock in the morning, you still have five hours to work, and you would literally rather shove nails in your eyes than work. It sucks.

Meanwhile, my free time is spent trying to work at my third job (making @disasterarea-podcast) and attempting to work on getting published. I had all these grand ideas about getting traditionally published back in my twenties, and now I’m 46 and I’m struggling just to come up with any ideas at all a lot of the time. Three jobs doesn’t help. Depression and anxiety don’t help. So for a while there, I had terrible writer’s block when it came to my novels.

So last year, I decided to try something. I have these massive baby-pink noise-canceling Bluetooth gaming headphones with a mic which I wear to work. Why not try dictating a first draft to my phone? Obviously it wouldn’t be exact, since voice-to-text dictation isn’t perfect under the best of situations, and certainly not with loud factory noises around you. But I tried it on dictating notes for my podcast a few times and it worked pretty well, all things considered. And a bad first draft is still a first draft.

So I figured, fuck it, and one night I just started dictating a story off the top of my head. No preparation, no outlining, no worldbuilding - just pantsing HARD with nothing but an annoyance following a Teen Wolf rewatch and a resolution not to edit until after I churned out a first draft.

It took fifty-one days.

Eighty thousand words or so later, I had a dreadful first draft which needed an absolute fuckton of editing and continuity correction and character work. BUT I had a finished first draft of a novel. Which is something I hadn’t had in a good long while.

So I tried it again for NaNoWriMo. I got up to 65k words. So I won NaNoWriMo, but I put the story aside because I hit a bit of a wall. Still! That’s almost two full fiction manuscripts in one year, AND the nonfiction memoir I wrote about my road trip to disaster sites during the pandemic. 2022 was a good writing year.

So I did what I do with first drafts and put them aside for a while. I knew they were awful. I knew they needed a ton of work. And maybe that was a tad intimidating, which is why I only JUST picked up the NaNoWriMo first draft to work on it and finish it off. It’s queer, it’s got time travel, it’s got disasters. It is right up my fucking alley. I may be just a tiny bit obsessed with that story.

Unsurprisingly, going through it now is taking more than a little while. I sit down, I spend an hour working on it, I maaaaaaybe get two paragraphs polished. If that.

But the fact that I’m working on ANY fiction is kind of remarkable. And fingers crossed, maybe I can get this damn thing, and the other manuscript, AND my road trip book, finished and polished over the next year so I can submit the fuck out of them.

NOW. Someone send me a twenty-pound bag of rooibos vanilla chai and ten pounds of red licorice laces. Mama’s gonna need it. *cracks knuckles*

#writing

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lythea-creation · 3 months

Text

Brighten My World - Tasneem x fem reader (Chapter 1)

summary: After Layan's death (f/n)'s struggling to cope. But when she finds out about Tasneem's eating disorder she knows she can't just stand by and watch.

warnings: grief, signs of depression, eating disorder

word count: 2.348

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated! If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

Requested by @hiimnewheresblog

----------------------------

Lately everything seemed to be a nuance darker. The sun was not as bright as it used to be. The sky not as blue. The air not fresh enough to provide me with sufficient oxygen. Breathing had turned out to become more laborious as my chest was feeling to tight for my lungs.

Yet I dragged myself to school every day where it was all came crushing down on me even more. After all I did not have a choice.

Since Layan's death nothing had been the same and yet it felt like nobody truly cared. Not about Layan herself. At best they cared about the fact that one of their students was not alive anymore.

Everyone was just moving on, stopping here and there to stare at the signs that Layan had actually existed. But to me it was so much more. She had been one of my best friends, basically my only friend considering that nobody was wondering about my sudden distant nature.

Maybe I was even more unseen than Layan. I had turned into a shadow.

Miss Abeer was actually the only one recognizing me.

I noticed her concerned glances when I was only staring at Layan's old seat in class. She was even calling me in to talk to me from time to time. But sadly that was not enough to lighten the pain.

Right now I was hiding inside one of the bathroom stalls throughout the break. Somehow the close space was giving me some kind of comfort, like my world was confined to these four walls. Plus you did not have to explain yourself when you were crying in there.

I was startled though when I heard somebody throwing up. Honestly I did not want to risk getting such a tiresome infection. So I decided to leave as soon as that student had left as well.

Out of curiosity or rather to know who I should avoid for the rest of the day, I took a peek through the slit between my door and door frame.

To my surprise it was none other than Tasneem.

Of course I took notice of her sitting in class later on as if nothing had happened. But it did not seem like a big deal to me. She could have eaten something she could not stomach after all.

But that changed when I accidentally caught her throwing up once again a few days later.

This time I decided to confront her with it.

“Tasneem”, I called out while getting out of my stall.

She jumped as she obviously had not noticed my presence before.

“(f/n). How long have you been in here?”, she inquired, insecurity resounding in her voice.

I had to admit that I was surprised she even knew my name.

“Long enough to know about your eating disorder”, I enlightened her.

The gasp and the literal panic written all over her face were making me continue quickly: “Don't worry! I won't tell anyone. Under certain conditions.”

Her body language changed as she crossed her arms in front of her chest, a defensive almost angry look on her face.

“What do you want?”, she questioned, her voice resembling her non-verbal language.

“I want you to talk to me about it”, I proposed.

There was a short moment of silence between us before she spoke up again: “Seriously? Why the bother? You can already screw me with knowing about it at all. You won't get anything out of it”, she noted.

“But maybe you will”, I considered.

“I don't get it”, she confessed. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I want you to get better. This is serious, Tasneem”, I pointed out. “How long has it been going on?”

“I dunno. Maybe a year or so. I don't really remember”, she admitted.

“Have you tried talking to your mom about it?”, I wondered.

“It's complicated”, she claimed.

“Okay. The break is almost over. Do you mind meeting up after school?”

“You won't let this go, right?”, she reassured.

I shook my head no.

“You can come over to my place if you want. I'm getting a riding anyway. So you can just come along”, she offered.

“Okay, I will”, I agreed.

As soon as we left the restroom, our relationship was unchanged. She did not pay attention to me at all.

But a few hours later I was sitting on a chair next to her bed she was sitting on.

“So what else do you want to know?”, she inquired.

“Can you come to me or call me whenever you feel the need to do it?”, I requested.

“How would that help?”, she remarked. “You don't even know me. This whole thing is ridiculous.”

“You're upset”, I noticed.

“Obviously”, she shot back. “You're completely ignoring my privacy.”

“Keep on ranting if it helps”, I encouraged her.

“Who do you even think you are? How highly do you think of yourself to suppose that you out of all people could help me? You can't save me”, she exclaimed.

“Probably”, I whispered.

“You think I could be your project just because you don't have anything else to do as you have no friends. You don't even try to get along with people. You're a weirdo”, she continued.

My eyes fixated on my fidgeting hands. Despite my recent lack of experiencing my emotions, her words were somehow hurting me. Most likely because she was right.

After a short moment of silence I asked her if she was finished.

“(f/n), sorry. I ...”

I interrupted her: “Don't be. Just come to me when you need to vent. I'll listen to you. I'll try to help even if I'm just an imposter.”

“I didn't mean it like that”, she insisted. “It's just … nobody knows about this except you.”

“It's okay to be scared, Tasneem”, I assured her. “Everybody feels that way from time to time.”

“You sure don't”, she mumbled.

“What?”

“You always seem collected, wearing a poker face. You don't even try to participate in class. I've never seen you hang out with anyone. Yet you appear indifferent, calm, like you don't care”, she explained.

“If I didn't care I wouldn't be here, would I?”, I replied.

“But why me out of all people? I'm privileged, have all the resources I could need. So why are you still wanting to help me?”, she wondered.

“Coincidence? You're right. Everybody's dealing with something heavy and there a plenty of people who don't have as much money or connections. But you're still struggling. So the right piece you need seems to be missing. I couldn't forgive myself if I knew and didn't act on it. I know that it's selfish”, I confessed.

“Okay”, she stated.

“Huh?”

“I will try to come to you. But it's gonna be hard for me to do so, especially because I don't really know you. So I need to be selfish as well and make a condition”, she announced.

I waited for her to continue.

“I want you to tell me about yourself as well and become my friend. It wouldn't be fair if this whole thing was one-sided after all.”

“We have a deal then”, I agreed and shook her hand with a smile.

Over the course of the next months we grew into our roles.

Tasneem actually came to me at school whenever she was feeling overwhelmed. And she would call me when I was too far away to quickly get to her.

I would talk to her, try to make her work through her emotions in another way.

I let her squeeze my hands as tightly as she needed to when she was suppressing the urge to binge.

I gave her a pep talk when everyone else talked her down.

I hugged her when she felt like nobody cared about her, but only her performance.

I told her bedtime stories when she could not sleep out of stress.

I was sitting in the front row during her most vulnerable moments and for the first time since Layan's death I was fully experiencing my life again, with all the unbearably strong emotions that belonged to it.

“(f/n)?” Tasneem softly uttered my name as we were laying on her bed.

It was not unusual for me to visit her anymore, not even to sleep over at her place. Sometimes it was helping her to hold me to fall asleep or the other way around. It was frightening to feel this close to her. Like I might lose her in the blink of an eye, just as quickly as it all had begun.

“Yeah?”, I answered, turning a bit to face her properly.

“You've changed”, she noted.

“You too”, I noted, smiling at her.

She smiled back at me. But it vanished too quickly.

“What is it really?”, I questioned.

“You're the only one who truly sees me”, she proposed. “I know that it hurts you when I fall back into my bad habits and yet you never blame me for it. You're always supportive, giving me whatever I need, whenever I need it.”

Was that a compliment? I was not used to this kind of conversation.

“When you visited me for the first time, I was an asshole. But you still stayed. Even though I talked you down. It didn't seem to affect you”, she remembered. “Do you still feel that way? Now that you know me better, would it hurt if I talked to you like that?”

“It did hurt back then”, I admitted. “But it would be more painful now.”

“How can you always stay so calm then?”, she inquired. “No matter how upset I am, you don't freak out. Instead you get me to calm down as well.”

I avoided looking at her when she said that. My hands started fidgeting again.

“You aren't”, she realized. “You want to come off as invincible, to mask it. But you're not. You're just better at hiding it.”

I stayed silent at her statement because she was right. I had picked up that skill a long time ago, maybe had it my whole life. But it had become worse with Layan's death. So bad that I sometimes could not see through my own act.

“What is your thing you're dealing with? It's gotta be a big deal since you never brought it up”, she assumed.

“I dunno if I can talk about it”, I confessed, my voice already cracking slightly as tears were flooding my eyes at the mere thought of Layan.

I had not gotten any chance to deal with my grief yet. Otherwise I would have broken down completely and there was no way my parents would let that happen. They thought it would simply go away after some time, like the person I had felt closest to had not just been killed by her own brother. Like I would be able to talk to her again, like she would call me to tell me whatever was bothering her. Like she would sing for me when I was feeling down.

Without realizing I started crying as the memories flooded my mind. I just noticed when I saw Tasneem's expression before she pulled me into her arms.

My tears transformed into painful sobs as I could not hold it in any longer. When I was too exhausted to continue crying I fell asleep in her arms.

I woke up in the middle of the night.

Tasneem was holding me so tightly that there was no way to get out of bed without waking her up. So instead I tried my best to enjoy the moment despite my head screaming at me to run.

The fear was getting stronger the closer we got. It was unlikely that Tasneem was going to die soon. But I had not expected Layan to die either. So rational thinking was not helping me in any way.

“Hey”, Tasneem greeted me.

Her voice was groggy from sleep. It was absolutely adorable.

“Hey”, I mumbled back.

She loosened her arms around me to give me a chance to move. “How are you feeling?”

Great question now that I was so out of touch with my feelings. But I had to be honest with her. After she had opened up to me so many times it was not fair to keep everything about me to myself.

“Scared”, I uttered.

“Why?”, she worried.

“I … really care about you. A lot. I don't wanna lose you”, I revealed, pushing myself against her again to make sure she had not already disappeared.

“I won't leave”, she promised.

“You never know”, I declared. “What if it isn't your choice?”

She cupped my cheek with her hand, leading me to look up at her.

“I won't leave”, she repeated. “So please don't leave either.”

“Even if I didn't wanna be your friend anymore?”, I questioned.

“What?” Horror was taking over her face.

“I'm sorry, but … I love you”, I confessed.

For a moment she froze, scaring me to no end. But that all vanished when she closed the last tiny gap between us to kiss me.

When she pulled back again, she complained: “You really scared me for a second, you know?”

I laughed at her reaction and after pouting for a few seconds she joined in. Just now I realized how much I had missed laughing like this.

I was aware that my pain would not just fade away this easily. That I had a lot to work on and that being with Tasneem would not be enough to solve all my problems. But it was moments like these who were crucial to help turning my world brighter again. One step at a time.

----------------------

Next Chapter

I hope you guys like the story. I definitely enjoyed writing it. Tell me if you wanna be added to the tag list for ASfG.

Tag List: @sunwoniie

#al rawabi school for girls #tasneem x reader #eating disoder trigger warning #depression #lgbtqia #romance #drama #female reader #angst #fluff

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ethereal-engene · 1 year

Text

just like spring snow | youngjae

pairing: bf!eric x gn!reader

genre: fluff, angst, and slice of life // warnings: mentions of food, dealing with sadness and longing, and depression (not super in depth for the most part) & not really proof-read

summary: A story of coping with Eric’s hiatus and the aftermath. // word count: ~3.5k

note: I know he’s been back for a little while now but wanted to commemorate it in writing because I became a deobi while he was on hiatus and am super happy he’s back!

They say that distance makes the grow fonder and you agree but that doesn’t mean that the distance doesn’t make you miss them.

You understood why Eric was taking a hiatus and actually helped him decide on it. With everything that happens in the industry, you know it’s not easy to deal with given the myriad of challenges. It made you quite proud that he was doing this.

Of course, you didn’t want him to leave but you knew he’d be back and that it was for the best. He spent a lot of time with you and the members before he officially left for the states. Seeing him off, he cried a lot and told you that he’d still keep in touch. Along with his iconic line of “Always remember Eric loves you” all of the while him saying it with tears streaming down his face.

Wiping them away with your free hand as the other was holding his hand. “I love you too, my love. Don’t forget to text me when you land and don’t worry about me too much. Take care, my lucky clover.” You give him one last tight hug and kiss.

Honestly, you were trying your best not to cry as hard as him. Eric being who he is, noticed that and wanted to stay just so he could give you more comfort. He feels bad but you know if he told you, you’d smack him. Because you don’t want to be the reason why he holds back on getting the much deserved break.

You both know if he stays then it wouldn’t really be the hiatus and break that he worked to set up with the company. So when you two hear an announcement from the speakers about how this is the last call for his flight, you pull away.

Eric kisses you once more but waving goodbye. Once again, the tears from his face start to fall. You wave goodbye and walk away. Knowing that if you turn around, you won’t go back. People would assume that you two were breaking up given all of the crying. Quite the contrary though, yours and his relationship is strong.

This was simply another test of the time and strength of your relationship. And besides you and him both know the real reason behind his hiatus. There’s no bullshit reason as to why he’s doing it.

Anyhow, you had to have one of the other members pick you up from the airport. They tried their best to console you and you appreciate them for it. Jacob, Kevin and Sangyeon were most notably the ones who helped you the most during this moment.

When they dropped you off at your apartment, just as you had given Eric a tight hug, they gave you one just as tight too. If they could, they’d spent the rest of today with you but they had their schedules. Obviously you weren’t going to keep them from that so you told them you’d text them if you needed anything.

Besides you weren’t a stranger to the whole busy schedule they had to follow. Waving them goodbye & thanking them again, you went into your apartment. It felt emptier without Eric’s things taking up tiny spaces.

Taking a deep breath to remind yourself of why this was happening again to ground yourself. Repeating the words “He’s not leaving me, this break is to help him get better.”

In an attempt to soothe these feelings, you decided to clean. But it was quite hard to do so when Eric basically did that before he left so you went to work on your assignments. Unfortunately, even the departure of your love couldn’t stop time for you to work on school.

With time passing by, you and Eric still kept in touch. Whether it was through FaceTimes or text messages. It was always fun to catch up and see what he’s been up to. As well for him to see what you’re doing and the other members.

It can be challenging with the time difference but you two make it work. If you’re lucky enough, you two will video call as you’re working on assignments and him doing his own things. Kind of strange but you’ll take any time you can get to spend with him, even if it’s virtual.

Every so often, when you think about how he’s not currently with you. The tears flow freely down your face. Almost like a never ending stream. Hugging your pillow and wishing it was Eric. Waking up to an empty bed is really when it hurts.

After always being woken up by a kiss from him, you long for the moment; it's no longer a dream but a reality instead. How can a bed feel so cold without the presence of him? It’s like it doesn’t matter how many blankets or layers you have, the breeze will find a way to greet you.

There were some days where you didn’t want to leave the bed or do anything. Hoping that sleeping would take the pain away. When you didn’t respond to text messages coming from everyone, they got worried. As one would.

Eric would send small messages to you when this happens. He knows that you’ll be okay but it definitely hurts him too. Making a mental to shower you in his love and affection when his hiatus is over. In the meantime, may this period of time where you two are apart allow you to still grow with each other.

You just forgot how to live without Eric and it sucked ass. To be in love and a relationship shouldn’t mean you lose total sense of who you are and the life you lived before them. It took a while for you to get back on your feet.

Starting off small by rebuilding your daily routine. Things like setting up what time you’d go in for work, start and finish homework, attend class, and eat your meals. In due time, your mind was occupied with the present and sometimes inevitably floating to Eric.

Wanting to know what he was up to or sharing stories about your day to him. However in the back of your head, you knew that if he wanted to tell you something he would. Eric would not hold back on anything to you. All is good though because you may or may not have been writing in a journal to keep track of all the little and big things you want to tell him. If not a journal then a letter.

It helped you cope with him being away. Making you feel like you’d one day just mail all of these to him as if y’all are two long lost lovers or something. You would be lying if you didn’t think about sending these to him but for some reason, you felt like it was better for him to just have them when he came back. Plus you didn’t want to pay to stamp all of them or didn’t want to flood his mailbox with these.

Another way you worked through this period of time was with the boyz.

Whoever had an off day in the boyz would offer to spend the day with you. Going with places for Chanhee to take pictures. Going to their dorms to play games with Juyeon or watching movies with Sunwoo, Younghoon, Jaehyun and Changmin. And last but not least going to their studio to watch them practice and record for their upcoming songs.

It was super fun to see the creative process behind them building a song. Especially with Jacob and Sunwoo. Seriously super talented and lovely songwriters. If you weren’t spending time with them, you were on campus studying & being a student.

You met up with old friends who attended the same college as you too. Taking the time to build more meaningful relationships with them and sharing stories about your struggles with classes. It felt nice to be able to talk to them about “normal” things.

Lastly, you were also working so that took up a good chunk of your week to focus on. The number of stories that accumulate just from one day at work is crazy. Ranging from horrible customers to hearing juicy stories about the town to playing along with little kids. This would have to be the final piece in cementing back the normalcy you had again.

God, it felt so liberating. Of course, you still missed him but with everything going on, it was easy for it to slip out of your mind. A gentle reminder that with and without Eric, you’re still your own person with dreams and goals.

With the time passing by, and before you knew it. You received the text that you were waiting for this entire time. The text read: “I hope you haven’t been missing me too much but I’ll be home soon. Can’t wait to finally see you again. I love you!!”

It took everything in you not to scream. You re-read it multiple times before calling him. Just to confirm and hear his voice again. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Babe, why would I lie about that?? Don’t worry, I promise it’s real and in fact the announcement should be going to the fans soon. God, I can’t wait to hug and kiss you again.” If it were possible to hear the joy coming from him, you were hearing and feeling it full force.

You couldn’t help but silently sob into your phone. Almost forgetting he was still on the phone with you, he started to bombard you with questions. Traces of worry laced in his tone. Asking if you’re okay or need something.

You responded in between sniffles and wiping your nose. “Y… yeah I am my lucky clover. I just can’t believe you’re finally coming back. Please let me know when your flight is and I’ll be there. I love you too!”

Eric almost forgot how much he hated hearing you cry. Wanting nothing more than to fly right away so that you wouldn’t be alone anymore. Alas he left you with more comforting words and texted you his flight information.

It was actually a lot closer than you were expecting. Setting a little countdown and you carried on with your day but carrying bits of more happiness than before. Everything about that day and forward seemed to go by faster and smoother than before. It gave you more strength to get through these last couple days.

When your phone went off to remind you that the countdown was over, it awoke you. Not the worst way to wake up but we all know the best way was with Eric next to you. So you got up and made your bed.

Today seemed to shine brighter today. As if the universe knew that Eric was coming back. After a while, you got a call from Kevin that they were here and ready to go!

Having already dressed up and all, you bid goodbye to this apartment. Telling them that soon it wouldn’t feel as empty anymore but also thanking it for keeping you safe during this time. You got into the car and chatted about anything with them all until y’all arrived. They totally didn’t place a bet on who was going to cry today.

When you guys arrived, it was almost hard not to get lost with the normal traffic at an airport coupled with reporters/paparazzi awaiting his arrival. Not even being able to see anything, it dampened your mood a bit. However after getting through all of the cameras and waiting, seeing him again made it all better.

Also Younghoon definitely cried but everyone knew that it would happen. To be fair, you cried as well and Eric. After reaching a more private space, you had run so fast into his arms and as one can only imagine he spun you. Both of you held eye contact until crying into each other’s shoulders. Eric had whispered so many I love yous and thank you for waiting. Shaking your head to reassure him that it was fine.

“I’m just glad you’re back, my lucky clover. I love you too and if you ask me it was worth the wait.” You whispered back and leaned your head against his forehead. So his and your eyes could meet. Maybe a couple minutes passed and you two hear fake coughs. “You know, Eric we’re here too.”

And right then and there laughter comes out of everyone. “How could I ever forget my oh so handsome and caring hyungs?” A playfully annoyed tone coming from Eric along with a roll of his eyes. All the while, his arms opened up so that they could hug him. You slowly back away because you’ve seen them run at full force and let’s not lie here, it’s kind of scary. They don't just hug him but almost tackle him to the ground.

You’re laughing as it happens and helping them get back up with the help of their manager(s).

“Welcome back, our energetic maknae! It really hasn’t been the same without you here and we love you.” Sangyeon welcomes him. All of them go around giving him a hug and maybe even a noogie. When they’re done, Eric returns to your side and slightly unaware of just how much they messed up his hair, you take a selfie/selca together. Only then does he notice it and leaves out a groan as you laugh. Eventually you help fix his hair and you all head back to the dorms to celebrate.

Sitting with him reminds me of when you two started going out. Both of you were quite shy and it may have taken the members giving y’all encouragement to be more comfortable with each near them. Besides they were fucking tired of hearing Eric talk about how he was scared that his members would get annoyed at you two for doing anything with public display of affection. They told him that it was fine just don’t overdo it or anything inappropriate. Ever since then, you two slowly got used to it.

You two were so young then but nothing about your love for each other has changed. Even anything, your love for each other got stronger especially after reuniting. The day was spent talking and enjoying everyone’s company. At the end, as they dropped you two off at your apartment it felt a bit odd. Walking up the stairs holding each other’s hand and the other carrying a luggage, it really did remind you of the first time you ever brought him to your place. It took a lot of convincing to the members and the company that nothing would happen to him.

Welcoming him in you, you let him know that you were going to shower and probably head to bed. Eric nodded and was putting back the things of his that used to belong there. He was taking in the view as if he didn’t know what it looked like before. Seeing his trinkets be placed, it helped the place feel more like home. After he was done putting them in their respective places, he was taking his sweet time observing the photos of you two together.

He was entranced by them so much that he didn’t hear you come out of the shower. For some reason, you didn’t want to disturb his peace so you let him indulge in it. Besides, you had done exactly what he was doing when he was gone. Looking at the pieces of your memories together and remembering that moment. When he’s done, he feels your eyes on him. Looking at each other with smiles growing.

If love was in the form of a person then it was Eric for you. Both of you couldn’t imagine a life without each other, much less a future too. For him, his future was with you. Walking over to you, he wrapped his arms around you. Peppering you with kisses and pretending to slow dance in your living room. “Thank you again for waiting for me. I know it was hard but I’m proud of us for surviving it. I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you again but I will promise that I’ll always return to you.” A promise sealed with your pinky fingers interlocking and a kiss to the lips.

“Don’t thank me for doing the bare minimum. I could and would wait however long it took for you to feel your best and better. It might have hurt but it’s not like I didn’t know what I agreed to when I told you to go for it.” You detached his hands from you and held them to move to the couch before continuing.

“You left in the spring and returned with the snow. I truly believe that these eight months apart proved that our love can withstand whatever comes our way. Thank yourself for being strong enough to admit that you needed a break. You know that everyone can’t do that but you did and I’ll always be proud of you for that.”

Eric really thought he had cried it all out today but hearing your sweet words attested to that statement. Just as you were wiping his tears when he left, you were doing the same now. A sense of relief washed over you when you realized how similar it was. Because now he was back and better. Rubbing his back and whispering sweet nothings helped soothe his pain.

One of the things that you will always love Eric for is not holding back on his emotions. During their concerts and fancons, he was known for also crying his heart out with Younghoon. He was comfortable enough to let it out. In a world where men who get called mean names for simply being in touch with their feelings and expressing them, it was a shock to you. Over time, you learned to appreciate that quality of him.

Giving him a forehead before playing the song spring snow by the boyz. While this song is a fan-song, the lyrics are very touching and a message you’d like Eric to receive. Some of the lines for reference:

At the end of the cold winter, it’s you who’s waiting for me

Everything changed after meeting you. The time when it was cold, as if it was decided, towards me. You approach with a warm smile and embrace me

I’m always grateful for you who came to me

Even if the moment of you and me passes by. Even in those lonely moments It’s fine now as it’s no longer cold

As he calmed down, you gave him a glass of water. You had one more thing for him before this day came to an end. Finding the letters or journal for him, you handed it to him. “It’s all of the things I wanted to tell you when you were gone. You can read them all another day but please shower. So we can sleep, I am beat from today.”

Eric laughed before wrapping you up in another long hug. “Yeah yeah I will. Thank you, my love. I love you again. I feel like I have to make up for the time I was away and I’ll read these with all the love in my heart.” He got up first and held out his hand for you to take it. Placing your hand in his, he kissed it and made his way to the bathroom.

While he was in the shower, he kept thinking about you and all of the things he wanted to do with you now that he’s back. There weren’t enough words to fully capture how he felt. All he knew was that he loved you and you loved him back. Knowing that gave him enough strength to carry on.

With him in the shower, you started to get cozy with the bed and told yourself to not sleep until he was out. Unfortunately, the tiredness got to you first before he did. So when he came out ready to spend the last few moments left in the day, he was greeted with you sleeping. He couldn’t blame you. Today was an emotional rollercoaster.

Before he slept with you, he wrote a letter to you. In case that he had to leave in the morning for his schedule. Oh and of course he gave you a forehead kiss, wished that you slept well, and to have sweet dreams.

The season of Spring usually is the season of hope, blossoming of flowers, and the warmth returning but this year it brought the opposite. On the flip side, the season of Winter usually is the season of sadness, heartbreak, and the loss of warmth but this year it brought the opposite.

The Spring Snow will always follow each other to give what the other season was missing. Like Spring Snow, you and Eric complete each other in ways people don’t understand because they are not you and him.

wow ash the boyz debut fic :))

I hope you enjoyed this and if you did please interact with it by reblogging it (preferably with tags and what you liked about it or what you didn’t like), sending in an ask or dm to me, or even leaving a comment in the notes section. I appreciate you and hope you remember to take care

signing off with love to eric,

- ash

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