#screaming crying lying on the floor this is unreal

[jkpfr]

Hmm…

That’s odd.

I never believed in Heaven nor Hell. Perhaps I should find reassurance in describing the place I find myself in as Purgatory… oh, who am I kidding? There is no rationalising this. After finding myself lying on a cold hard floor and opening my eyes to a pristine white corridor, my insides twist and twitch, sending every possible call for help to my brain.

My nerves tense up like an armour under my skin, screaming “what?”

My intestines turn like a load of laundry, asking “where?”

My heart beats even faster than it usually does, crying “why?”

And I – I stall. Describing my every reaction, overthinking my every breath, it’s fair to say I’m doing everything in my power to ignore these calls.

I fear that fear may overtake me. It’s with trembling legs that I stand up, but I’m soon overpowered by dizziness. When I move my arm to lean against the wall, white as the floor, as the ceiling, as its neighbours, I worry that I’ll land on nothing.

But no such thing occurs. This is a real wall. Such is the floor I stand on, such is my body, twisting in pain. Let’s assess reality – I’m probably not dead.

Where am I then? The most likely imagery is that of a hospital, but… something’s off. I would hope that if someone found me unwell and went through the effort of bringing me to one, they’d leave me inside a room, or in the entrance at least, not on the floor of an empty corridor. That is why… this feels unreal.

It is made even worse by the fact that I can’t recall for sure what I did last. When I scour my memories, something feels unclear.

My first thought when I woke up was that I had met my end, but… in truth, I’m fairly certain that I didn’t go through with it. In fact, everything would indicate that I, instead, lived to land here.

For that, surely I can’t complain. I remain faint, but finally putting the idea of this being the afterlife behind me, the core of my being relaxes.

If there were life after death, then I would truly be alone. There would be no going back, and yet again, it would be my own fault. It’s as though I was given another chance… However dreary my new situation may be. I find myself filled with newfound determination to survive… No matter what lies ahead, to allow myself to see tomorrow.

Scary as it may be, I’ll walk down this corridor… I may stutter and waste time when finally I find someone, but so long as I get home in the end, my failings along the way won’t matter. I’ll scream and I'll cry if I must. I’d rather embarrass myself publicly than wind up alone in the black hole of nothingness.

Besides…

To wind up focusing so much on myself shows how uninspiring this place is. When I want to describe the void in the future, I’m certain that I’ll represent it as a long, silent, white corridor.

A corridor I have to walk down for much too long, at the risk of awakening my every fear again. I hate to admit that along the way, I think of Purgatory and Hell once more – and by the time I finally see the way out, I have convinced myself not to look back no matter what.

No matter where this lone black door leads me…

Surely, it will be ever so slightly closer to you.

Leaving a world of black and white, if I’m lucky, soon I’ll get to see every hue of whatever feelings you have left for me.

It’s thinking about you yet again that I push the door… Will you forgive me? I’m so obsessed, in fact, that looking at a new place just now – I think I’m hallucinating. Black and white is all I can see... if I’m not losing my sight, then, was I wrong in wishing for anything else?

#murder fabrication bonus content #english

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

All Men Have Limits - XI

Character: Dick Grayson x Reader x Bruce Wayne

Summary: A certain bat believes that Y/N is in way over her head, that she’s too naive to act in her best interest. So, whether she wants it or not, the vigilante family is going to help and protect her before she gets herself killed.

Word Count: 3,700+

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse

Previously on…

How did she let this happen?

Y/N had tried to push her short-lived romance with Bruce Wayne out of her mind for two years. And the moment she sees him again, for the first time since, it all went to hell. 

Why did she let him have her so easily? 

Why was he so hard to fight? 

His presence was difficult to ignore. And when he acted on their mutual feelings, Y/N knew she’d do just about anything for him.

But could two stubborn, emotionally distant, and nearly impossible people make it work?

But then Dick…Dick Grayson. 

Whenever Y/N thought of him, a warmth spread through her chest. He wasn’t scared of her. Instead of trying to break down her walls, he patiently waited for her to open a side door for him. He was patient and kind. Though he adopted Bruce’s flirtatious and charming ways, it was backed by substance in a way Bruce never bothered to follow up with.

Both men loved her differently.

But that didn’t mean one loved her more than the other either. 

–––––––––––

When Y/N reached the bottom of the cave, she found Dick training.

He was shirtless with a pair of shorts on, lifting himself up on the still rings.

She allowed herself to watch him for a moment. 

It was unreal the amount of strength he held to be able to move the way he was. He had clearly been modest when she asked if he could go to the olympics. 

Dick’s skin was shining, drenched in sweat.

How long had he been working out?

What she didn’t know was that Dick had been at it for hours, trying to work out his frustrations by making himself physically exhausted.

Finally Dick landed by doing an aerial dismount that consisted of so many twists and flips that Y/N just blinked in amazement. 

“Come to get your equipment?” Dick asked without looking at her. 

He was out of breath and clearly tired as he rubbed his face with a towel.

“Yeah,” she answered. “Jason’s bringing one of his cars to help me pack it up.”

She didn’t want to inconvenience anyone else in the family further. But she couldn’t exactly hire a TaskRabbit to help her pack up thousands of dollars worth of hacking equipment and ask them to drop it off at one of her many safe houses.

Plus, Jason owed her after the scene he cased at that infamous family dinner, and she made sure to tell him so.

Dick scoffed a bit. “So, you and Jason hang out now?”

Y/N smirked. “We started a club. We’re calling it The Club for the Parentally Abused and Recently Resurrected.”

Dick could help but let a smile slip.

“But I also came to talk to you.”

He walked past her now, and still hadn’t even looked at her since she arrived.

“You don’t owe me any explanation, Y/N. I got the message loud and clear.”

Y/N took in a deep breath. This was going to be hard. But she had to do it.

“When I was five years old, I left my stuffed animal at the park. I wouldn’t stop crying on the drive home. My parents started screaming at me to be quiet. Eventually they gave up, pulled over, and kicked me out of the car. It was 5 miles back to the apartment and it was 30 degrees out. Luckily, I knew my way home."

The story made Dick’s eyes snap up and he finally looked at her. And when he did, his expression was filled with rage and sympathy – rage towards her parents, but sympathy for Y/N. She should’ve never had to deal with such abuse.

Y/N shrugged. “And that’s one of the better moments.”

Dick took a step towards her. “Y/N…”

Her eyes were glued to the ground as she continued. “To this day, I jump anytime someone drops something. I can’t watch sports because the sound of men yelling causes panic attacks.” 

Then she finally found the courage to meet his gaze. 

“When I meet men, in my eyes, they’re all my father until they prove otherwise. And the reason I’m always waiting for the floor to drop out from underneath me... is because it always has.”

Dick waited. 

Y/N knew he was silently telling her he understood.

A couple tears managed to slip down her face, but she quickly wiped them away.

“Bruce was the first person I ever shared my past with. And now…now you’re the second.”

Dick still didn’t know what to say to her.

“I’m so sorry for hurting you, Dick. That was never ever my intention.”

Dick sighed, “I know.”

And he did. He did know.

Dick took in a deep breath, “I spent a big part of my life trying to stop myself from turning into him. I became terrified by the idea. I started disagreeing with his methods. He stopped looking like the perfect man to me. Eventually, I left Gotham because of it all.”

He shook his head in disappointment. “But I’m realizing those are the same things that make him the man that you love.”

His hand moved through his hair. “Now I’m starting to wonder…what if the only things you like about me is just everything that he made me be?”

Y/N couldn’t listen to any more of it. She couldn’t keep standing there and hear him tear himself down and compare himself to the man he had idolized for most of his life. Even if he saw Bruce as just human now, the man was still somewhat of a father figure to him.

“No,” she immediately stepped to Dick and clutched his face.

On instinct alone, he put his hands on top of hers, scared she’d stop touching him too quickly.

“Dick, listen to me. That’s not true. None of that’s true.”

“Don’t just tell me what you think I want to hear,” he begged.

“I’m not. I promise I’m not.”

Y/N took in a shaky breath.

By telling Dick what he needed to hear, Y/N was also exposing herself. It was scary for her. Talking to Dick about their complicated relationship was like speaking a different language compared to the way she used to communicate with Bruce. And she could admit that communication was often no communication at all.

“The things I love about you have nothing to do with Bruce,” her words were unafraid and sincere.

Dick blinked at the word ‘love.’

“You wear your heart on your sleeve, Dick. And I know you’re sometimes ashamed of it, because you’ve been convinced that you shouldn’t do that. But it’s…it’s so… different.”

She laughed lightly at herself, “Different than what I’m used to. Different than what I’ve ever expected from men.”

“I always know what’s going on in that heart of yours,” she continued. “There’s no guessing with you. I never doubt your feelings. Because you don’t hide anything.”

Y/N figured out what she was really trying to get at.

“Because you’re not scared.” She paused. “You’re not scared to love me, even when you think you don’t have a chance.”

“Do I have a chance?” He whispered.

Y/N finally dropped her hands from his face and stepped away from him. “I can’t – Dick, I can’t get between you two.”

He chuckled darkly. “It’s a little late for that.”

Y/N hid her face in her hands in desperation. “Please, don’t say that to me. Please.”

“He’s in love with you, too.” Dick declared.

“Dick, stop!”

“No, I won’t.” He snapped back. “Bruce is in love with you, Y/N. And you can’t keep lying and convincing yourself that he’s not.”

“It’s not that simple!”

But she could tell he was growing frustrated with her.

“Then tell me why you love him,” Dick surprised her by asking. “I need to know. I need to know why, because that’s the only way I’m going to be able to let you go.”

Y/N’s lips trembled as her eyes filled with tears again. She shook her head, “Please don’t make me.”

But when she looked up, his gaze was pleading.

So Y/N closed her eyes, the pressure of it made more tears escape and slide down her cheeks. She took in a deep breath, desperate for it to calm her down enough to even speak.

“That first night me and him shared...I hadn’t slept that soundly in years. And it was because I felt...safe. He’s always made me feel safe, like nothing could ever happen to me.” She shook her head and her eyes glazed over as she remembered the past. “I know I asked for this life. I’m always on the edge of being in danger, and I always have to be on the move. But it just felt like...like I could finally breathe.”

She gave Dick a sad smile. “And it’s been the same since I got here. I was just too stubborn to admit it.”

Then she shook her head. “I’m so tired of being scared. And I’m so tired of convincing myself that I don’t deserve to be loved.”

“Y/N,” Dick whispered her name as if he was begging. He moved to her and clutched her face and bowed until their foreheads touched. “I can keep you safe, too. I promise. I always will.”

“I know. Because you’re the only reason I’m alive right now.”  

“I love you, Y/N.” He murmured as if it was his most treasured secret. 

But they had both known that for awhile. 

“And I know you love Bruce…but I think you love me, too.”

Y/N hesitated before she whispered, “I do love you.”

Dick didn’t even try to stop himself from kissing her.

He pulled her hips to his, refusing to allow any space between their bodies. Her lips were wet with tears, but he didn’t care. This kiss needed to tell her everything he felt. This was his final statement. If his words couldn’t convince her, then maybe he could make her feel it all.

Jason Todd’s timing was like the rapture. 

His car screeched to a stop on the platform below them.

Except Dick didn’t give a damn if his brother saw them. He barely let Y/N pull away, but still tried to brush her tears away with his thumb as it grazed her cheek.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Jason yelled up with a cheeky grin.

Y/N still shifted out of Dick’s embrace.

To both the men’s surprise, she didn’t glare down at Jason.

“Come on. I’ll help you get all this into his truck,” Dick told her softly.

Their moment had ended.

And Dick couldn’t help but believe that he’d lost her.

———

Jason helped Y/N carry all her equipment in the storage unit she had directed him to.

The young man had the same strength as three professional movers and she was taking full advantage of it.

“Don’t you want all this crap with you?” Jason asked when he finally moved the final piece inside.

Y/N pulled down the garage door, slamming it closed, and activated multiple locks before facing him.

“Nope.”

Jason eyed her suspiciously. “Don’t tell me The Court traumatized you into retiring…”

“Of course not. But I am taking a break.”

He nodded, accepting the answer.

“Where to next?” He asked while nodding towards his truck.

“You don’t have to give me a ride. I think I want to walk.”

“Hell no. Bruce and Dick would kill me if I let you do that.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and slowly opened her jacket to show that she had one of her guns hidden away.

“You taught me well.”

Jason sighed heavily, “You wanna be alone. I get it.”

“Thank you for your help, Jason.”

He just shrugged, “I owed you.”

Y/N nodded and shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket.

“You know what you’re doing?” Jason asked.

“Not really,” she admitted.

To her surprise, Jason's face was sympathetic. “Look, I know I give you a lot of shit. And none of it’s my business.”

He scratched the back of his neck.

“They both love you. OK? And I know they both go about showing it in completely different ways. But that’s just how they are. We’re all a fuckin’ mess.”

“I know,” Y/N mumbled as she looked at the ground, shoulders slumped.

“But I know what it’s like to be beaten down by life. So I just want to make sure you remember that you deserve it.”

“Deserve what?” Y/N asked, confused.

“To be loved.” Then his eyes turned the most serious she’d ever seen, and he pointed to her sternly. “Don’t let what happened in the past make you think otherwise.”

Jason already hated how preachy he sounded, so he gave a final nod and walked to the driver’s side of the truck.  

“Jason!” She called out.

He paused before he got into the driver’s seat.

“The same goes for you.” She smiled. “Remember, we’re in a club now.”

He smirked before giving her a final salute, and driving away.

———

Walking back to her safe house was therapeutic for Y/N.

Yeah, there were worse places than Wayne Manor to be kept on house arrest. But Y/N also couldn’t remember the last time she went on a walk like this. It did wonders to clear her head.

Though she was still paranoid and made sure to remain aware of her surroundings. And she probably looked over her shoulder too frequently to appear natural. But after everything she’d been through, her life still didn’t feel safe.

So, imagine Y/N’s panic when she walked into her safe house and immediately knew someone had been there.

She immediately pulled out her gun and started to do a perimeter check.

However, her panic slowly subsided when she saw a note on the kitchen counter.

Next to the note was what appeared to be a tracking device. Not as sophisticated as anything Y/N could make. But it was still rather advanced.

She walked closer to read it and instantly recognized Bruce’s handwriting.

“We had a deal,” was all he’d written.

When Y/N turned on the tracker, she quickly noted that the coordinates it gave matched the location of Wayne Manor.

A sad smile spread across her lips at the blinking light.

This was a strange way of expressing affection and trust, but that was Bruce.

There had been a part of her that didn’t believe Bruce Wayne would ever allow someone to always know where he was. But then again, he always found a way to surprise her.

Y/N looked around at her apartment.

It was cold and unwelcoming. The purpose was to provide a safe location and remain isolated. It was never meant to become a home – none of her safe houses were. Without her equipment humming, it felt even quieter than usual – unsettling even.

One thing was sure to Y/N…she couldn’t live this way anymore.

–––––––––––

Dick was fixing up his motorcycle in the garage at the manor.

He was planning on driving it across the country and wanted to make sure it was in good ship before he put that kind of mileage on it.

His attention shifted away from it when his phone lit up and vibrated from a message.

To Dick’s surprise, he read Jason’s name.

“You should talk to her. I think she’s really going through it right now,” was all his younger brother texted.

Dick sighed in frustration and tossed his phone away a little too roughly.

He rubbed his face. 

He’d been suffering from a headache every day since he last saw Y/N. 

Maybe it was his punishment for submitting so easily.

Dick stood up from kneeling next to his motorcycle.

No, he wasn’t going to talk to Y/N.

But he was going to talk to Bruce.

While Dick had been distracting himself with his upcoming escape back to the Titans, Bruce drowned himself in new cases. He’d extended his patrolling hours so long that he barely had time to sleep and eat. Half the time, he didn’t even bring Damian along with him. 

Dick knew he would find Bruce in the cave, seeing as he hadn’t left it in days.

Bruce didn’t turn away from his research even though he heard Dick’s entrance.

But that didn’t slow Dick down as he marched to him.

“Are you really going to do this?” Dick shot.

He didn’t need to elaborate, they both knew what he was talking about.  

“We’re not having this discussion,” Bruce tried to shut it down without even looking at him.

“Nope. That’s not going to work anymore.” Dick reached out and pressed a button, turning all of the screens blank. “We’re talking about this whether you want to or not!” Dick snapped.

Bruce was clearly irritated. Not only did he finally acknowledge Dick and meet his gaze, but he also stood from the chair and sized him up.

Dick’s jaw clenched before he began. “I know you’d protect her with your life. But are you going to protect her from Bruce Wayne?”

The question was brutal, but necessary.

Dick wasn’t holding back any longer.

“Because we didn’t have any choice. We changed our expectations and adapted. But Y/N? She shouldn’t have to do that. So you’re either all in or you need to let go.”

The ‘we’ was Dick and his brothers, but Bruce didn’t need him to clarify.

Dick never had any intention of being cruel. But he had to be blunt with Bruce. And Dick wasn’t going to watch as he put Y/N through what he and his brothers had to in the past. 

She would bend and fold herself for Bruce, lowering her expectations and latching onto what little he gave her, putting it all on a pedestal and giving it more meaning than it deserved.

“If you promise to actually commit to someone for the first time in your life and put them before Batman, I’ll walk away. I’ll do it for you. And I’ll do it for her.” The fire in his eyes was blazing. “But I can’t sit back and watch as you treat her like shit. She deserves better than that. And you know it.”

There wasn’t a single lie in what Dick said. 

Over the years, Dick was always the most frustrated with Bruce’s lack of emotional competence. Jason was angry at Bruce for far more than just that. Tim didn’t seem to have many thoughts on it. And Damian didn’t see it as a problem, which was an entirely different issue.

But if it weren’t for Dick, Bruce would be far worse – even though that seemed rather impossible.

“Do you love her?” Bruce asked Dick.

He blinked at the question, taken off guard by how intimate it felt coming from Bruce.

“Yes,” Dick answered, leaving no room for doubt.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?” Dick glared at him.

But Dick still jumped right into it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Y/N is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met in my life. She makes me laugh – even when I know her sarcasm and humor are hiding darkness. She’s selfless – more selfless than all of us. And she cares about everyone, even when they don’t deserve it. She dedicated her life to helping people and, until recently, she was fine doing it all by herself. ”

Bruce couldn’t help but smirk darkly at Dick’s list and crossed his arms, “You forgot to mention how beautiful she is.”

“Yeah. Well… anyone with eyes knows that,” Dick rumbled.

Bruce was quiet, clearly deep in thought.

What was going on in that head of his?

“She left Gotham,” Bruce finally stated.

Dick’s eyes widened. “Left?”

“Yesterday.”

“Yesterday? So...what? You don’t know where she is or you’re not going after her?” Dick snapped.

“I know where she is.”

Dick’s face dropped. “You’re not going after her,” he muttered in disbelief.

Bruce didn’t have to say anything to confirm Dick’s suspicions.

“You’re an asshole and a fool, Bruce.”

“I’m doing the best thing for her,” he countered.

“That’s what you think. But how will she feel?” Dick shook his head in disgust. “But you never ask yourself those questions, do you, Bruce? You never consider other people’s feelings.”

“I promised to always put Gotham first, Dick.”

“Oh, come on, Bruce!” Dick groaned. “You made that promise – what? – 20 years ago? Don’t try to tell me that things haven’t change.”

“You think she wants to stay in this mansion by herself, wondering if I’m going to come back alive?” Bruce finally fought back. “You think she deserves a man who will always put her second?”

“Then don’t, Bruce! Don’t put her second! She chose you! Don’t make her regret it!”

But Dick had enough and he also wanted the final word.

So with that, he stormed out of the cave, leaving Bruce alone again.

Dick was about to go to his room and finish packing up his things to leave when Alfred called his name.

“This arrived for you,” Alfred informed him politely as he offered him an envelope.

Dick’s heart beat faster as he grabbed the letter, somehow already knowing it was from Y/N.

He ripped it open without hesitation, not bothering to wait for the privacy of his room to read it.

Dick,

We both know I’m absolute shit at opening up. But I am hoping that maybe writing it all down will be easier. I figured it’s worth a try. 

I’m sorry for the way things happened. I hope you believe me when I say that I never meant to hurt the two of you.

It recently occurred to me that I haven’t experienced much of life.

I went from living in an abusive household, to living on the streets, to using all of my energy trying to bring down the corrupt. I’ve spent so much of my life either running or fighting that I realized I don’t actually know how to just simply…live.  

So...

By the time you get this, I will have left Gotham. I think it’s about time I stop running and start learning who I am when I stand still. 

I don’t expect you to forgive me for pushing and pulling you.

But I hope you believe me when I say I love you. I really do, Dick Grayson. 

And the truth is, you scared the shit out of me. But I also know you deserve someone more than just me. And the idea of you realizing that at any moment, only to leave me, was too heartbreaking to face.

I hope this isn’t goodbye forever. 

“When did this arrive?” Dick asked almost panicked.

“Just this morning, Master Dick.” Alfred answered.

“Thanks, Alfred.”

He took a few steps toward the stairs before Alfred called out, “Master Dick?”

“Yeah?”

“It feels rather important to emphasize that there was only one letter…”

Dick’s gaze flickered to where the cave entrance was, the place they both knew where Bruce was currently hiding. 

Then he looked back to Alfred, showing that he understood what he was trying to silently tell him.

Y/N didn’t write a letter to Bruce.

-------------------------------------

Part 12 – The End

I’m sorry to tell you that there is only one more part after this. 

So please please please let me know what you think. Write me a book report. Write me a novel. 

A/N: The scene between Bruce and Dick was inspired by two things:

This conversation from the comics. 

And this scene from Sabrina. Obviously this is a much more comical take, but I’ve seen this movie probably 100 times and it holds a similar meaning to this story. 

#all men have limits #all men have limits part 11 #dick grayons x reader #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x reader x dick grayson #dick grayson x reader x bruce wayne #bruce wayne reader insert #dick grayson reader insert #batman x reader #nightwing x reader #batboys #batfam

[thinking1bee]

Super Jealous Part 2

Requested by Anonymous

Pairings: Kara Danvers x Reader

Tags: Fluff, Smut, Some Angst, Jealousy, Minor Injuries, Flirting

Everything Taglist: @sammy90682 @nobody13 @owloftheshadows @captain-josslett @camslightstories @worldovart @finleyfray @acertainredhead @sammm9068

Of course, the moment you left the store, there was something going on in downtown National City. Something always happened here. It was why the insurance was expensive, but the cost of living was cheap. You didn’t move here until after Myriad, so you survived the Daxamites, the Worldkillers, and Leviathan. Seeing someone destroy a building with powers of their own was as normal as receiving your mail. Nothing phased you anymore. Not even when a large boulder of concrete came crashing down in front of you. You simply sidestepped it and kept walking home with your groceries in hand. You had your headphones in and were listening to music, but you saw Supergirl arrest the offending criminals and hand them over to law enforcement. To call what happened next a coincidence would be the understatement of the century.

Supergirl approached you with her hands on her hips, a signature pose of hers you noticed, and you blushed as you removed your headphones.

“Are you okay?” she asked, and for a second, no sound came out of you. You were shocked speechless. National City’s resident superhero was talking to you, actually talking to you, and you were sure that you were having heart palpitations.  

Supergirl chuckled, low and throaty, and you found the sound infinitely attractive. She was still waiting for a response, her teeth nibbling her lips as she raised her eyebrows. So, you swallowed down your dry throat and forced yourself to produce words.

“Holy shit,” you gasped.

Okay maybe not those words, but Supergirl didn’t seem to mind. She snorted and you blushed, smiling shyly as you tried again.

“I’m sorry but wow. I never thought that I would meet you in person.”

“Well, I was around and felt like I should introduce myself. You’re pretty cute.”

Oh god. Oh my god. Supergirl was actually flirting with you, and if it wasn’t for the fact that you were with someone who was already so perfect that it was surreal at times, you would have thought that you died and entered your own personal heaven. All you could do was chuckle, and you rubbed your cheek.

“I really appreciate this Supergirl, I really do, but I’m already spoken for.”

She smiled, her teeth so straight and bright that it was unreal.

“Whoever has your heart is incredibly lucky,” she said.

“I’m the lucky one, honestly.”

Supergirl nodded before taking a couple of steps back, still smiling as she did so. “Have a great day,” she said before taking off into the air.

Kara was not going to believe this. Frankly, you weren’t to sure if that actually happened to you, but once you pinched yourself and felt the pain, that confirmed it. You weren’t dreaming.

***

As Kara flew away, her heartbeat lightly beneath her ribs, feeling lighter than the air she was soaring through. Even when faced with your favorite superhero, you still loved her, and witnessing that for herself had her falling even more in love with you.

But she was lying to you. The love Kara felt slowly dissipated and turned into guilt. In all the time that you were together, not once had she told you of her true identity. Kara Danvers was Supergirl. They were one in the same, and it killed her that she was only giving you half of her. At one time, she convinced herself that the reason she never told you was because she wanted to protect you. If one of her enemies ever used you against her, she would never forgive herself, but over the years, you’ve proven that you can handle yourself, and that you didn’t need protection. Kara needed to fix that. She had to tell you and she would do it today. With determination, Kara took a hard turn and flew home.

***

You walked into the apartment to see Kara already home. You saw her pacing back and force, twisting her fingers nervously

“Hey babe,” you said to her, putting the groceries on the kitchen counter. When she didn’t answer, you stopped to look at her. Her eyes were nervous, and you noticed that her hands were shaking slightly.

“Are you okay?” you asked softly. Kara took a deep breath, steadying herself, before answering.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Okay?”

“You should sit down.”

“Okay,” you said in confusion, but still sitting on the nearest barstool. Kara shook out her hands and took a shuddering breath. She was starting to scare you, and you watched her anxiously, trying to prepare yourself for what was about to happen next.

“Y/n, I’m Supergirl.”

Silence. You stared at her and she stared at you back, her eyes frantic as she searched you for any reaction. Several emotions played through you one by one. First was surprise, and then rationalization. When Kara didn’t say anything else, the next thing you felt was amusement. Maybe she was playing a prank on you to try and get back at you from earlier. So, you chuckled, shaking you head while getting back up.

“Wow, you had me going for a second there.”

Kara swallowed. “I’m being serious.”

You looked at her, losing your smile immediately when you saw that she wasn’t even laughing.

Okay? You were definitely scared now. What was she doing?

Kara realized that she was going to have to prove it. She walked onto the balcony and shot off into the air, making a loop around the building, before landing back in her previous spot. You were floored. Kara Danvers was Supergirl. Your girlfriend was Supergirl.

Your mouth hung open in shock and Kara watched you with her breath held. When you didn’t say anything for a few tense seconds, she stepped closer to you.

“Please, say something.”

“I think it was the glasses,” you blurted out after a while.

“W-what?”

“The glasses. I think it was the glasses that threw me off. Maybe it was why I never saw it before.”

Or maybe you didn’t want to see it. Kara and Supergirl had the same hair, eyes, and physique. It was practically screaming at you that they were the same person and you just never saw it.

“It’s okay, everyone is fooled by the glasses.”

You chuckled again, only this time it was devoid of any humor and you looked down, tears starting to form in your eyes as you sank back down on the barstool.

“I feel stupid.”

Kara’s breath hitched and she approached you, kneeling down by your legs to look into your eyes.

“You’re not stupid,” she whispered as she placed a warm hand on your knee.

“Yes I am. The woman that I love has been lying to me this whole time, and I let her.”

Kara frowned. She expected a reaction, just not this one. She was helpless as she watched your tears fall and for the first time, Kara wasn’t sure if she could comfort you. You were crying because of her, and her shoulders sagged as she looked away.

“I don’t get it,” you whimpered, you voice thick with sorrow. “Did you not trust me with your secret? Who would I possibly tell?”

Kara was shaking her head as you talked. “No, no, no, its not that. I kept it from you to protect you, I swear. I only did this because at first, I thought it was necessary, but after all this time, I’ve realized that you can handle things on your own. I was scared that someone would use my identity to either use you against me or harm you and now that I see what a strong, beautiful, and capable person that you are, I knew that I wouldn’t have to worry so much about you.”

That made sense and you sniffled as you wiped your eyes.

“Can I give you a hug?” Kara asked, and you nodded, already pulling her in for one. You let the warmth of her embrace quell your sadness and within minutes, you were calmer. She kissed your forehead and rubbed your back.

“I’m so sorry Y/n. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s okay,” you said. “I’m okay, I was just scared for a second there.”

You both grew quiet as you calmed down. The sobs quieted into sniffles and you wiped your eyes again to stop the tears and clean your cheeks.

“Anything else I should know?” you asked. “Now’s the time.”

Kara grinned, her face adorably lit up as she flashed you her signature smile. “Nope that’s it.”

You laughed. There was no way you could stay mad at her for long. You cupped her cheeks and brought her in for a soft kiss, still loving the way her lips felt against yours. Kara made everything better. It was another superpower of hers, giving you hope and love, and you loved her all the more for it. You continued kissing her, pouring all your affection into it, when a thought made you pull back and stare at her in surprise. Kara’s eyes were glazed over with wonder. She was drunk off your kisses, and for a second, she chased your mouth, still seeking them. When she saw your expression, she raised an eyebrow as some clarity came back to her beautiful blue orbs.

“What’s wrong?”

“If you’re Supergirl, then does that mean you were jealous of yourself???”

Kara frowned and looked down as she thought about it. “I guess I was.”

Her answer astonished you, and you snorted before dissolving into hard laughter.

“Oh my god, you’re such a goober,” you said between giggles and you kissed her again.

Kara Danvers, either as herself or as Supergirl, was still yours to love and cherish, and you would do just that for as long as she let you.

#supergirl fanfic #kara danvers x reader #reader insert #fluff #smut #angst #jealousy #minor injuries #flirting

[guqin-and-flute]

Holding Me Holding You--Ch. 5

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4]

[Ao3 Link]

[This should be the last one of heavy, unabating angstiness--next chapter should the comfort part, finally. If all goes according to plan 😬 But we are mostly through the woods! TW: Dissociative state, mild (dream) unreality, Emetophobia warning--nonexplicit, starts at 'it threatens to curl him over', just lasts for that paragraph line.]

Wangji is wasting away in front of him--like their mother, like their father. It strikes Xichen as he carried his brother back in his arms, blood seeping into rain soaked robes. Wangji remains glazed while he is brought into the bright chaos of his own home, filled with two panicking young boys and the small cadre of confused night guards that had been brought running by their cries. 

Even when the doctor he summons rebandages Wangji's wounds and talks seriously over his body about infection and spiritual energy and scars. Even while A-Fu keeps sobbing and sobbing, wild and lost against Xichen's chest as he mechanically apologizes and apologizes and holds him. Even as they coax Wangji's son from out of the corner where he is cowering from the noise in feverish half-consciousness, Wangji is glassy and unseeing, eyes fixed on the door. As if uncomprehending. As if he doesn't understand how any of this has happened. 

Xichen doesn't understand either. He can't identify when the decay began.

He just knows that he has seen that look on his father, staring into nothing in the dimness of the Hanshi. Has seen it on his mother, near the end that he hadn’t known was the end. Has seen it on countless cultivators lying broken on the battlefield as they bled out.

Death. The end.

Xichen is losing him, as he had lost them. This was never supposed to happen again. He had promised himself he would be better next time. He knows Wangji better than anyone else. He should have done more.

The horrid crimson of Wangji’s wounds flash in the dressing of his back. The sound the strikes had made against his flesh echoes in Xichen’s ears.

He should have done less.

When the other adults leave, finally, the glances that they cast behind themselves are shaken and dubious. The Twin Jades of Lan, soaked and blood smeared and hollow eyed. Fallen so far.

What is jade?

Xichen is shivering and staring at the same blank, white wall as Wangji. A-Yuan has been taken to sleep in the infirmary in a medicated stupor that is supposed to keep his temperature down where the doctors can closely observe him. Wangji is not aware enough to know that he is gone.

 A-Fu refuses to sleep at all, now that he has stopped crying. He digs through one of Wangji’s potted plants and there is just not enough left of Xichen to stop him. Any time he moves, A-Fu’s head whips around to find him, dark gaze intense and panicked. Afraid he’s being left alone again.

He has done nothing but make the boy suffer. Cry.

What is jade? Jade is peerless. Valuable. 

Rain is thundering on the roof. The world has narrowed to this room.

It's wrong to attend to business and leave Wangji. Xichen can't abandon him again. He will stay here. He will let the world burn in penance for how it has failed his brother. 

It's wrong to stay and leave his post unattended. He cannot be selfish. The pain of Wangji's punishment is right to rest heavy on Xichen's shoulders as well, sharing the burden for his part in every crime against the cultivation world and the Lan. He cannot be his father and abandon his duty.

These truths somehow occupy the same reality, one he is unsure whether he himself occupies, right now. Rule number 1,276: Do not be of two minds. Broken.  

A-Fu tips the pot with a dull clank, flopping down with a surprised, “Oof.” Dark dirt spills over his feet. Wangji doesn't blink, staring sightlessly.

It is wrong to inflict the fallout of his inadequacy on this poor orphaned boy. His cowardice. This is irrefutable, singular truth.

Jade is noble. Jade is flawless.

Unbreakable.

When Wangji cannot find it in himself, Xichen can be jade enough for the both of them; for A-Fu, for all the Lan. Unbreakable. 

He will do what is right. 

Tomorrow.

A-Fu tracks dirt over, toddling and crawling until he pulls himself upright on Xichen’s sleeves. Little muddy handprints. His cheeks are blotchy. He garbles something. Xichen can only catch, "Wanna."

Words are...hard. Harder than they should be. So Xichen pulls Liebing from his sleeve. Wangji's drying, bloody handprint glares from its translucent skin from where he had tossed it aside. He plays, winding, low, and slow. 

A-Fu sinks down to squat, blinking slowly, fists still wound in Xichen's sleeves. 

A minute later, his eyelids flicker. Then, he tips himself over and lays his head on Xichen's thigh, glassy eyes hooded. 

He does not let go.

When Xichen pauses for a breath, the boy mumbles, “Again." So he plays songs of healing, of calming, stirs the sluggish sparks of energy through his meridians, for Wangji and A-Fu.

Wangji lets out an almost imperceptible sigh. Closes his empty eyes.

Good.

The music buzzes in his lips, under his lungs, methodical and numbing--meditative.

Until there is an overbright wringing in his core, flashing out through his meridians like wildfire. The note shrills up piercingly and chokes off. Blood spurts over his tongue, past his lips. Bright and iron-sour--ringing and burning and surging--

 He at least has the presence of mind to lean forward, avoiding A-Fu.

He stares at the scarlet splat on the rug by his knee. Feels a single drip from his nose make its way over his lips, down his chin. Overstrained. Qi mismanagement. 

Get a hold of yourself . 

A breath.

A breath.

Quelling. Controlling. 

Slowly, he wipes his face on his damp sleeve. Rule 783: Do not begrime your clothing without just cause. Broken.

He watches the stain sink, into his sleeve, into the rug, absorbed down into the weave of the fabric, drunk up until it’s indistinguishable from Wangji’s slowly browning next to it. Meditates on that. The abstract form of his emptiness blurring at the edges. Liebing is warm in his hand.

Wangji is asleep. A-Fu is asleep.

If Xichen dreams, he doesn't remember it.

When the sun rises, he unfolds from his post and bundles A-Fu into his blanket. He checks Wangji’s breathing (rough), his wounds (oozing), the acupuncture needles (still set). Takes his wrist and loses himself in his pulse. It’s there, bumping up against his fingertips, the nudging nose of a persistent minnow. I’m here. I’m here. I’m here.

Stay .

He calls for a guard to ensure Wangji cannot leave on his own again. He carries A-Fu back to the Hanshi. Sends instructions back with the disciple that brings them breakfast.

A-Fu insists on clambering into his lap as they eat. Xichen’s mouth is too dry to taste any of the food. He feeds A-Fu with hands shaking so badly, he spills half of it down the boy's robes--but doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he slushes it gleefully across the tabletop.

Xichen barely feels human. 

Then let me be jade.

Something displeases A-Fu about bathing, today, and he angrily tries to shove all the water out of the washing tub in a fit of toddler pique, scowling and hollering nonsensically. Soapy water splats to the floor and Xichen’s chest and lap when he thrashes. 

Xichen lays his forehead on his soaked arms on the edge of the tub and closes his eyes for a moment. Just a moment.

When he is changing his own twice-soaked and bloody clothes, he hears quick little, unsteady feet slaps come around the privacy screen. Then, "Owie." 

He turns. "Owie," the boy insists and raises a hand, eyes fixed on Xichen's back.  Numbly, he turns to the mirror. Finds long, purpling bruises crisscrossing across his shoulder blades and back. It's probably from hitting the shelves in the storage room.

 They don't hurt. Sometime in the night, his body has moved somewhat to the left of himself and sensations are...distant. It is a sign of how he has neglected his cultivation that they have not healed, yet.

“A-niang kissit?” 

Xichen shakes his head, mutely. A-Fu seems to consider this, brows furrowing in thought. Then, “ A-Fu kissit,” he decides, resolutely.

There is a pressure beginning somewhere in Xichen’s chest. Squeezing. 

He kneels down. The kisses are applied by A-Fu kissing his own palm and clumsily smearing them on like a healer’s balm to his shoulder. Xichen accepts them without protest.

When they are both presentable, Xichen takes the child by the hand and lets him totter beside him through the wet and misty grass, lets him pull up a clump of flowers out in the front garden of the Hanshi, lets him take the time to marvel at all the shiny facets of the rocks on the path, marvel at a crawling beetle. For when they come into sight of the temporary orphanage, A-Fu freezes, then scrambles to try to climb his leg. “Up! Up, p’ease!"

Xichen can’t move. When clinging doesn't work, A-Fu collapses like a hamstrung deer, dangling from his hand. And begins to plead.

"No p'ease! No p’ease! Nonono!"

The women have received instructions, sent from the disciple who had brought them breakfast, and they are ready this time. Two come out with sympathetic faces and words. They coax and coo and reason as they pick A-Fu up. Peel his little fingers from Xichen’s sleeve as he clutches and screams wildly, "Nooo!! Ahhhh!! Nooooo !!!" 

Jade. Cold. Flawless. 

Tiny, wickedly sharp nails rake down his hand, scrabbling. 

"A-Huan, you are the eldest. You need to set a good example for A-Zhan. That's enough, now, you're too old for this. Collect yourself. When you are like this, he gets uneasy and unruly. Come, now, show him how it's done. Deep breath."

That pressure is growing. 

Jade. He is jade.

The boy abandons words, just shrieks of raw sound as they carry him away. Echoing off the trees. Reaching back for him.

"Huan-er, don't cry, you have to go with shufu. Oh, I know, I know, I don't want you to go either. I'll see you in a month! Next month-- don't cry, I'll see you then. Don't cry, Huan-er, please don't cry--"

It's for the best. It's for the best. It's...

He looks so scared.

Wangji screams Wei Wuxian's name. He hears it from halfway across the battlefield, despite the din. Hooks in his soul…he is so afraid--

The door shuts. The screams muffle.

And Xichen is left standing alone on the grass. He feels nothing but that intense, crushing pressure. It threatens to curl him over. He makes it to the tree line before he throws up bile. Barely.

A crack. A flaw.

Rule 589; Do not be ill mannered.

He coughs. Breathes. 

Rule 712; Be strict with yourself

He does not know how long it is until Uncle finds him there shaking. “Who is making so much noise?” There is a silence when Xichen doesn’t respond right away--he can’t. He just can’t. A hand comes, squeezes his shoulder. “Are you well?”

He just shakes his head. He should be asking after Uncle’s health. Reassuring him. He should be….

“Xichen. You help no one if you do not rest properly.” Uncle’s voice is low and persuasive--gentle.

He is failing. 

Uncle moves closer, presses the back of his cool hand to Xichen’s forehead, then sets his fingers on the pulse in his wrist. That alien pressure squeezes Xichen’s throat until it’s choking him. 

“You cannot go on like this. I will head things until you have collected yourself. Go. Sleep.” 

It is familiar command that draws him up by puppet strings to standing straight, to bowing woodenly. 

“Look at me.”

Xichen does. His uncle looks the same as he ever has, save hints of darker circles beneath his eyes, the skin thin and bruised. His severe expression holds concern and disapproval and a glimmer of something that looks like fear. “You mustn’t do this,” he says with insistent force. “Your people are looking to you and you mustn’t allow yourself to do this. You are to return to the Hanshi and sleep until you wake naturally and then you are to meditate until you are fully within your own control. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, shufu, ” he says, hoarsely. He has failed in his every duty in every way. He is...He is….

Uncle regards him with growing consternation, his mouth tightening. “What on earth is the matter, Xichen?”

Everything. Everything I have done and have not. “I….Wangji.”

Deep lines appear beside Uncle’s nose, his lips whiten and his jaw works. Rage. Grief. Betrayal. Regret. “Wangji is experiencing the consequences of his actions,” he says, stiffly. “He was given ample time and ample guidance and yet he throws it all back in the face of the Clan who has raised him.” His nostrils flare as he glares down the mountain. “How are his wounds.”

Xichen’s breath is tight and burning, as if he is crying, but he’s not. He’s shaking. He’s empty. “...Will you not go to him?” He whispers.

Pain and anger flicker. “I will not. There is work to be done. He is in the doctor’s hands.”

Xichen bows wordlessly. 

And disobeys. 

He returns to Wangji’s home, down the mountain on locked kneed legs. The house smells of char and hemostatic and antiseptic and rain. It burns his nose. Wangji is pale and haggard and alone, somehow rendered small in his own bed by his bandages. Xichen rinses his mouth, sheds his boots and his guan and crawls up to collapse next to him, as he had when they were small and Wangji couldn’t sleep. Just like then, he finds one of Wangji’s lax hands and wraps it in his own.

You have me. I’m not leaving you.

Leaving. The memory of A-Fu’s screams tighten his gut and his throat until he is sure he will vomit again. However, the sound of his mother’s voice soothes it away. “How is he doing?”

When he opens his eyes, he finds her kneeling beside the bed, stroking Wangji’s hair with concern. Sitting up, he scrubs a hand over his face and offers her a weak smile. “ Niang, you should be asleep. Don’t worry, I have him.”

Wangji sleeps, his face turned away, back rising and falling.

Their mother stands and rounds the bed, taking Xichen’s face in her warm, dry hands and kissing his forehead, right over the cloud pendant of his headband. “I know you do, Huan-er. You are the best gege anyone could ask for. Don’t you think you should be sleeping?” She teased, tweaking his nose. 

“I’m not tired.” And he wasn’t, just very curiously heavy. Every movement of his head seemed to take twice as long, every movement of his hand twice as much effort. “I shouldn’t be sleeping anyway. I need….” 

“Oh?”

The words were escaping, jumbling up like mush, and he frowns politely. “Hm.”

“Yes?” 

Looking up into her face, he finds it round and sweet and familiar with glittering mischief in her eyes, waiting with a small smile. “I can’t...think of it.” It doesn’t bother him particularly, not truly--a minor frustration--but moisture buds in his eyes like pebbles of rain. Xichen blinks in surprise and wipes them with the back of his hand.

“Oh no, save those!” His mother gasps in alarm, searching about for something. “No, you need those, don’t, Huan-er!” 

“I’m sorry,” he says, her frantic energy seeping into his chest. He tries to breathe deeply, to center his qi, to close his eyes, but they will not recede, threatening to spill over. “I’m trying, I don’t...I’m not….”

“It’s alright, love, but quickly, try to remember--who was the last person to have them?”

As hard as he can, he tries, fumbling for the memory. “Was it...was it A-Yao? Or Da-ge….” He remembers them holding something, something warm, something familiar. 

“Oh, that sounds right. Here,” she has produced a piece of white silk, though the long ends have been dipped in blood. She hurriedly dabs at his eyes. “Mind your robes.” 

“Yes, a- niang, ” he replies dutifully, taking it and soaking up all the tears into the fabric before they fall, holding the blood away from him as she beams down at him.

“Perfect boy. Do you remember properly, now?”

“I think it was A-Yao. I think...I think it was when I ran….”

Her dark eyebrows rise and she pets over his hair--it’s so light that he can barely feel it at all. “That long?”

“I’m not quite sure….” 

She sighs, shakes her head. “Wangji needs them, remember, love.”

“Of course,” he says, though he can’t quite remember why. He knows that it’s true, though. “More than I do.”

“Exactly. You have to be strong. He’s so much younger.”

Xichen smiles and takes the fabric away to inspect his progress. Only half of it is soaked and the tears have diminished to just hazing his vision. He feels abstractly proud. “Oh, well, he’s grown since you’ve--” When he looks up, the room is empty.

But reality is seeping in the edges with cold fingers, the feeling of waking from a dream. She has been gone from here for a while. He can feel it. He is alone and has been for a while. How long has he been talking to himself? 

 When he stands, slowly, weighted by rocks, he is in his mother’s home, in the center of the dark floor, surrounded by a layer of dust, cleared of furniture. The lanterns are all cold and wickless, the windows stuck shut. It is dim, the air thick and stale on his tongue. Had he decided to stay here? He can’t remember.

A deep unease threads through his chest. He cannot stay here. He knows the rules. He cannot be away too long. 

When he steps forward, he realizes the door is so much further than he had initially thought and with each step, it seems to fade. When he reaches it, it is a smooth, impenetrable wall and no matter how many times he moves around the edges of the room, it does not reappear. 

Did they leave him? Would they be back? 

...Did he do this?

He opens his mouth to call for help when--

Raw sound crashes over him, bolting him up in bed. His breath is heaving, icy adrenaline rushing through his veins. It’s pitch black and smells wrong. Rain hisses over the roof, but the windows and door are in the wrong places and for a moment--is he in--was it--

Silent strobes light Wangji’s room as bright as day. Weak relief trickles through him, even as the thunder immediately follows with a boom of wall shaking fury. Not the Jingshi. The middle of the night, with Wangji. Safe.

Another flash, overlapped by another boom that makes him jump, even though he had been expecting it. The storm must be directly over them on the mountain from the strength and instantaneousness of the thunder. Through the dimness, he peers down at his brother, heart still hammering. He seems to have remained motionless in his needle-assisted unconsciousness despite the noise. As the tail end of this last salvo grumbles away, Xichen’s adrenaline slowly bleeds away as well, leaving him watery and exhausted, even as his breath and heart still speed. Laying back, he stares at the bruised shadows lashing in the ceiling in bright purple flashes and finds himself hoping--though he has no right--that across the Cloud Recesses, A-Fu isn’t afraid.

#3zun raise jingyi au #3zun raise jingyi au content #my stuff #my fic #3zun #I say if all goes according to plan because I have a few other scenes that need to happen #and those have a tendency to be a lot longer than I think they will be #But it should be very soon #Also I promise I'm gonna fix it next chapter 😬 We all know what happens. We all know he is Dad™

[ariondevereux]

writer’s love day 💌

under the cut for a sapfest because i’ve been looking for an excuse (thank you @choicesfandomappreciation <3) to ramble about oph writers whose fics have stuck with me and gotten me through a lot

@lucas-koh 🥭

hi mango. i know you’re hardly active but it would be a CRIME not to tag you because stitches still has me on a chokehold. god has witnessed all the ugly ways your fic has made me cry. and it still does. you know how much i love suki so we’re gonna skip that but i hope you know that my love for stitches didn’t just stem from my love for bryce or your oc; like it was honestly the experience for me: the late friday night (for me) updates, spending at least half an hour to type you a huge block of incoherent comment with tears in my eyes, staying up till 3am because my mind was still reeling over it that i couldn’t sleep even if i tried. and some mornings i’d wake up and immediately reread it then go back to earlier chapters because something was starting to click and my brain would start coming up with theories. i miss all of it so much and if i could go back to read stitches for the first time all over again, i would do it in a heartbeat 💓

@storyofmychoices 🧸

i’ve said this to you tons of times but it’s worth repeating: you’re my go-to comfort fic writer. nothing you’ve written didn’t feel like the warmest hug to me. one of the things i admire most about you as a writer is that almost every fic is a slice of life and it’s filled with so much heart. and i think that’s why i hold it so close to mine. there’s something so comforting about seeing bryce and liv who i love so dearly doing the most mundane things. even in just the span of however long it’s taken me to read your fic, they feel so human. in every fic. they feel so fucking human to me. that’s what makes your work so special. when i’m at my lowest and i turn to your fics for comfort, it feels like i’m holding onto actual people instead of just a figment of your imagination. i can 100% say to you that i wouldn’t want your fics any other way. they’re beautiful the way they are 💕

@writinghereandthere 🐢

hi ana! we haven’t talked in a while but i’d be really fucking dumb not to include you because you’re just so brilliant. it’s honestly unreal how incredible you are as a writer. i remember when you shared one of my songs, you told me you wish you could write songs instead. i wanted to crawl into my screen and out of yours to scream at your face because i wish i could write fics the way you do. like turtles ??? god. turtles still makes me cry. i’m not kidding - last week i was cleaning my room, i was sweeping the floor under my bed and suddenly got emotional because i remembered bryce finding his old backpack with keiki’s totu inside… the way i just wanted to stay lying on the floor and let the memory of reading your fic consume me. to say your writing is a gift is an understatement - my vocabulary most likely isn’t as wide as yours but there has to be a stronger word to describe your talent. your writing is so immersive. you know exactly how to draw your readers in. you know the exact emotions to pull out of us that we’ll be emotionally distressed by the time we’re done reading your fic. you’re just so fucking good. there’s no one like you 💝

@mvalentine 🌯

malvika, you know me as a bryce whore but i just had to talk about ethan and lana for a second. i love their dynamic so much. i love how different they are but they are so sooo compatible. one thing i really love about their relationship is how alive it feels. lana’s fun personality is a perfect balance to ethan’s stoicism. and !!!! i think i’ve mentioned this to you before?? their relationship is so healthy - the way ethan was there for lana after that incident but also letting her process things in her own time. it’s the kind of presence that i feel like we all need irl and you portrayed it so well. now - i know you’ve heard this so many times, not just from me, but i had to say it again. the way you apply metaphors in your work is so poetic but what’s even more impressive is that you can still make it so easy to follow and understand. and i don’t think that’s something you just learn. it’s probably possible but with you, it’s a common theme in all your works that it seems like it comes so naturally to you and it really blows my mind every time. i hope you never forget how incredible you are 💗

@anotherbeingsworld 💫

the one and only bryce killer (beloved) sjfbsksks OKAY despite your love for major character death, you have my appreciation for the way you always handle triggering subjects. i know i can’t always come through for some of your fics that include certain types of content but with regards to those i’ve read, you always touch such heavy topics with utmost respect which i don’t always find in fan fiction. you never let your potential for angst overpower the care you have to be able to portray a healthy dynamic. the very specific thing from you that stuck with me was in one of your fics - there was this scene where mc took bryce’s hand in hers and though their hands didn’t perfectly fit, it felt right. i personally think it serves a great reminder that things don’t have to be picture perfect to be good; i always try to carry that sentiment with me and it’s a really comforting thought to hold onto. your heart always shines through your writing 💖

@drethanramslay 🩺

nushkasso my doctor artist writer <3 like me, you’re not very active in the open heart fandom anymore but i just had to include you in my silly list of favorite writers. one of the things that make your fics and your pairings so tasteful for me is the humorous inner monologues. they’re always just a small piece of writing but god, does it add layers to your ocs. i’m a sucker for introspective writing and i always enjoy getting inside a character’s head which is why i love aisha so much. she has such a strong personality that i always want to know more about. her tension and banters with bryce are so entertaining then you hit us with her thought process and her conflicting feelings towards him which makes quality drama….. exquisite. #braisha supremacy !! but really your sense of humor is one of my favorite things and i always love seeing it be reflected in your work 💘

@kelseaaa 🌻

i just couldn’t not tag you because i still think about he doesn’t hold my hand + i don’t hold her hand. i don’t have enough words to express how much i love those two fics and how awestruck i am by you for even coming up with them. your take on bryce was so different from others i’ve read that even after rereading it like a year later, his pov was still as refreshing as it did the first time. and the way you didn’t need to add a lot of dialogues in there to highlight bryce and casey’s relationship - it really put a great amount of emphasis on how strong their connection is through small acts of love and intimacy. like ??? taking a stray of hair off casey’s sweater? THE STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE? i know i’m just stupidly rambling now but every time i think about your two little fics i can’t help but gush over the way you showed it’s possible to show affection with your hands aside from holding someone else’s. everything about it was perfectly written; it always tugs at my heartstrings 💞

#god i’m probably forgetting some so i’m sorry 😭 #but pls know that when i was mentally at my lowest last year your fics really helped keep me going ily guys :( #choicesspreadkindness #choicesfandomshoutout #choices fandom appreciation

[weasleydream]

The day the world stopped breathing

Hi guys, how are you all? I’m so sorry it took so long, but this is my participation to @masterofthedarkness​​ writing challenge! Sorry for being so late hun, but once again congrats!!!!

The prompts were “I will protect you with my life.” and “The world stopped breathing that night, he’s/she’s dead because of me.”

As usual, feel free to like, comment, reblog, and enjoy!

Masterlist 

(gif not mine) 

Y/F/C = your fav colour 

“Harry James Potter, I swear to Merlin you’re not going to leave me in the dark!”

Since the end of the school year a month ago, Harry had been acting strange with me. Always avoiding my gaze, avoiding questions, avoiding being alone with me… As much as I was hurt - because who wouldn’t feel so bad when the boy you love ignores you? - I knew something was wrong and it was terrifying me. When asking Ron and Hermione,the only answers I had were stupid excuses preceded by embarrassed glances.

But now, with the preparation of the wedding and just all that happened around us, I felt Harry drifting off more than he had ever done before and that was truly scaring me. 

“Y/N, listen, I just can’t tell you, okay?” His tone was almost pleading, as if he wanted me to stop arguing because it was paining him or something like this. 

“But why?” No matter how hated was this tone for me when it came from his mouth, this time I wouldn’t let go of him before knowing what he was preparing. “Harry, I would do anything for you, you know that, right? When the time comes - and Merlin knows it’s closer than ever - I will protect you with my life. Might as well know why, don’t you think?” 

And as usual at this point of the conversation, the anger came. 

“I don’t need you to protect me!” screamed Harry. “All I want is you to be safe, and you certainly won’t be if you come with us!”

“I don’t need you to protect me either.” I hissed, kinda pissed off to see that after all I had gone through with him, Ron and Hermione, he still didn’t believe I was strong enough to help him. “And Ron, and Hermione, don’t you want them safe too? Harry, whether you like it or not, I’m coming with you. You tell me where you’re going to go, what you’re going to do, or I discover it by myself. Just keep in mind it might be too late.”

And I felt my heart shattering a bit more when Harry gave me his back without a word and left the living-room. 

From this point, I knew there was no way him, Hermione or Ron would tell me anything. I decided I would always keep at least one of them in my sight and that I would stay ready to follow them at any moment. My worries were slowly consuming me, and I found it harder and harder to sleep at night. Instead, when I was lying in my bed during the darkest hours of the night, the worst images invaded my mind, all of them awful guessings of what Harry would do during the second he would leave. The only way I had found to ease my mind was to think that he wouldn’t leave before the wedding, and that it let me a few days to find a way to convince him. 

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Third POV

“I hate having to keep her far from me.” muttered Harry, his hands playing with his old Gryffindor scarf, the one Y/N had given him back a week ago after having borrowed it for almost a year. 

It was late at night, but he was unable to sleep. If he had known Y/N wasn’t sleeping either, he would have probably gone to her by now. However, he was still in Ron’s room, the latter sitting next to him and lost in his own thoughts.

“I know mate, trust me I don’t like it either. But you don’t want anything happening to her, and her going back to Hogwarts with Ginny is certainly the safest thing she can do right now.” replied Ron, patting absent-mindedly his friend’s shoulder. 

In fact, he didn’t fully understand why Harry refused to let Y/N come with them. He wasn’t oblivious enough not to realize he was in love with her, but in Ron’s opinion, the best way to make sure someone was safe was to stay with them. 

“I just hope she’ll understand.” Harry’s voice didn’t contain this lassitude he had felt during the last months anymore, but it was replaced with sadness and it wasn’t better. “She’s furious, she doesn’t understand she’s too important for me. I mean, if Hermione and you had let me the choice-”

“Which we didn’t do.” 

“-I would have left on my own. This is too dangerous.” said Harry, glancing at Ron who was looking at him with a quite unusually extremely serious expression. 

“You’re the boss, mate. Just know that if I were you, I would do anything for Y/N to stay next to me.”

“Yeah, you know what it feels like, don’t you?”

Ron’s ears became red, along with his cheeks that seemed to be burning. Harry smirked, thinking for a second that when all would be over, his friends and him could make the best double dates ever. 

Harry didn’t want to do this this way. Leaving Y/N without warning her, not saying her goodbye whereas he was leaving for his most dangerous adventure, not telling her how he felt about her. He had planned to talk to her, to persuade her to stay behind, he wanted to tell her how he loved her and how he needed her safe, but the Death Eaters that suddenly intruded the wedding decided otherwise. 

As the guests were running in all directions, most of them screaming and even forgetting how to use their wands, as the members of the Order were trying to protect them, Harry found Ron and Hermione and grabbed their hands. He threw one last glance at Y/N, who was fighting with all her capacities against a Death Eater. He fought the urge to join her, almost screaming in his own head that it was better like this and that she would eventually forgive him. 

“Harry?”

Hermione’s voice came in his ears through the screams and the noises of destruction. It was the most painful thing to do, way more terrible than any Cruciatus spell, but Harry nodded and the world around him disappeared. During the following months, an image would stay engraved in his mind, and a question would haunt his mind. Never would he forget the sight of Y/N bathed in a green light, her eyes meeting his through the distance at the very moment he was disappearing. Never would he stop wondering if this green flash of light he had seen had hit her or if by the biggest miracle she was still alive. 

“Family safe, do nor reply, we are being watched.”

The weasel disappeared in the darkness that surrounded Harry, Ron and Hermione who were now in Grimmauld Place. The last echoes of Arthur’s voice were still resonating in their ears as Ron dropped onto the sofa, Hermione immediately at his side and whispering words of comfort. However, none of them seemed to have caught the ounce of pain Harry had heard, and none of them never imagined Arthur could have lied. But Harry couldn’t make the image of Y/N disappear, nor could he stop fearing maybe she wasn’t as safe as Arthur had said. 

“Harry, you don’t have to worry about her, she is okay.” said Hermione who left Ron’s side to gain his. She put her hand on his shoulder. “Y/N is okay, and she’s with Ron’s family. She’ll be safe with them.” 

“They’ll protect her.” added Ron. “She’s as much a part of the family as you and Hermione are.”

The reassuring words of his friends were nothing for Harry, nothing except poor attempts to persuade him of something that seemed unreal for him, and he would have been grateful if only he wasn’t that worried, and if his scar wasn’t that painful. 

“Bathroom.” he muttered suddenly, before leaving and succumbing to the terrible rage of Lord Voldemort. 

Back at the Burrow, where the Weasleys were trying to process what had just happened, almost all eyes were turned toward the window through which the silver weasel had left to find Harry, Ron and Hermione. No one said anything, the heavy silence being only disturbed by light sobs coming from Fleur’s mouth. Ginny was next to her, slowly stroking her back, and next to Ginny were Fred and George with their eyes lost in the emptiness. Arthur was still standing in the middle of the living-room, his arm firmly wrapped around Molly’s shoulders. 

“She was just a child.” whispered Bill before getting up from his kneeled position next to the couch. “Dad, don’t you think Harry deserves to know?”

“It would put them in danger.” muttered Arthur. “The time will come, but for now they need to accomplish their mission.”

His eyes followed Molly’s and fell on Y/N’s body, pale and lifeless on the couch. 

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

From inside, Bill was watching Harry digging furiously, slowly sinking in the sand to make by himself a last house for the elf that had saved him. 

“How can we tell him?” he muttered and Fleur, who was fussing over Hermione, stopped for a second. She clenched her hands in fists before looking away from Hermione’s gaze. 

“Tell him what?” asked Ron, taking a step toward his brother and following his eyes. 

Only silence answered him, and he exchanged a glance with Hermione. Both were fearing the same thing, this very same obsession Harry had had since the second they had left the wedding. 

“Bill… Where is Y/N?” Ron finally asked. 

Bill’s shoulders tensed, Fleur sniffled, and no word was needed. Hermione opened her mouth in shock, barely containing a scream by putting her hands on it, and Ron froze. 

“How the hell did that happen?” he whispered, not trusting enough his voice to dare speak louder.

He had to stay strong for Hermione, who was already so weak and broken, and soon he would have to be strong for Harry too, because he would be the one telling his best friend the girl he loved was dead. 

“At the wedding. She was surrounded by too many Death Eaters and…” 

Bill never finished his sentence, and Ron shut his eyes, fighting the image of Y/N, a girl he had been friend with since his first year at Hogwarts, dead on the floor. A soft hand brushed against his arm and without even opening his eyes, he engulfed Hermione in his arms. She was crying, her tears were soaking Ron’s shirt and her shoulders were shaking. 

“I don’t understand…” he breathed. “Dad said our family was safe. Why? Bill, why did he lie to us?”

“He didn’t want you to put yourself in danger. You couldn’t take any risk, Ron.”

“And Christmas? When I came here, you told me everything was fine!”

Ron ignored Hermione’s whispers begging him to calm down. He was infuriated, not because his family had lied to him but because Harry still had hope for Y/N. He had been scared for her, of course he had been, so many times he had imagined the worst, but he still thought he would have another chance to see the girl he loved. And now, after having lost Dobby, after having lost Sirius and Dumbledore, he would have to face the loss of Y/N. 

“I know, Ron, I’m sorry. Trust me, I am!” exclaimed Bill. “I didn’t want to lie to you, but I had to. I had to.” he repeated with a small voice before looking back at Harry. 

After having helped Hermione to sit back on the couch, Ron left the cottage without a word and, followed by Dean who had patted his shoulder, he joined Harry. As they were digging, Ron was thinking about the best way to tell Harry she was dead. 

“Is there even a good way to announce something like that?” he muttered underneath his breath. 

Dean glanced at him but said nothing, and Harry didn’t even hear him. He was focused on his task, and after having asked how Hermione was, he had stayed perfectly silent. He didn’t even look up when the others arrived, in fact only Luna’s voice made him react. They prepared Dobby, offering him last presents before burying him. 

Bill and Fleur left first, the latter helping Hermione who was still weak. Dean and Luna left a few seconds later, holding hands and looking one last time at the grave. Only Ron stayed, trying to gather enough courage to speak up. Harry was sitting on the floor just in front of the mound. Ron sat next to him and surrounded his knees with his arms. He sighed once, twice, shifted and sighed again. Harry was completely oblivious to his presence, his gaze was lost in the emptiness, fixing a point just above the grave. Ron sighed once more and dropped a few words with a low voice. 

“Y/N has been killed. At the wedding. I’m sorry, Harry.”

If there was a part of his heart that was still complete, Harry felt it break as soon as Ron spoke up. This little part of himself which had always seemed warmer than the others, this tiny part that seemed to grow up so much whenever Y/N was next to him, this part of his heart was now in a million of pieces as small as the grains of soil underneath his body. He didn’t say anything, his throat was too tied to let any word out. But he was now blinded by his tears, tears that were rolling down his cheeks like they had never done before. Ron put his hand on his shoulder but Harry didn’t react, silently addressing Y/N useless apologies, useless because nothing would ever bring her back. She was dead, dead because he had left her, because he had been too selfish to take his responsibility, dead because Death Eaters had barged in during the wedding. All of this was because of him. He had lost his parents, he had lost Sirius, Dumbledore, Hedwig, Dobby and now Y/N. 

“Harry, I know what you’re thinking. This is-”

“It’s my fault. I know it. I should have protected her.” whispered Harry, his heart hurting a bit more at the thought that he had given up on her. 

“No, Harry, no! You couldn’t know what would happen, none of us could! Listen, I know-” Ron didn’t know if he would be able to control his voice longer, his own grief and the pain of seeing his best friend in such a state of sorrow threatening to make him break down too.

“You don’t know, Ron!” Harry exploded, looking up to his friend with the most broken expression that had ever been seen on his face. “You are wrong, I could have killed her and it would have been the same! The world stopped breathing that night, she’s dead because of me! Because of me Ron! She said she would protect me with her life, and I said she couldn’t do that- why did she protect me? Ron, why did she protect me? Y/N shouldn’t be dead, she had so much more to live! Why?”

And Harry’s voice broke under the weight of his guilt, and he sobbed loudly without caring a second about what Ron would think. Because he knew that his friend would have felt the same if he had been in his shoes, because the pain was so strong he just couldn’t ignore it. Because Y/N had been so important to him, she would always be so important, he would always love her so much, that the least he could do for her was to cry and scream under the stars that maybe, just maybe, would tell her how much Harry was sorry. 

#vals300challenge #Harry Potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #harry potter x yn

[dreamescapeswriting]

Taehyung X Reader ~ Pressure [Request]

Word Count: 10k (I’m so sorry it’s so long) 

Genre: Fluff with like a tiny amount of angst but it’s needed for the storyline 

Pairing: Taehyung x Fem!Reader

Warnings: I don’t think there is any

A/N: Hope this okay for you for you hun, if not feel free to message me and I will do it again but for once I kind of like something I’ve written.

"Y/n! You were behind again!" The choreographer screamed at you on the stage, you looked down at the floor and tried to calm down your anger. You'd been in the girl band for a year now and it seemed like everyone hated you, managers, dancers, backup singers, and even the band members. 

"Sorry, Clive." You said into your mic looking at your band members who were all talking amongst themselves it had always been this way with them, they'd trained together for years and when you joined it was as if someone had thrown a spanner into the works and they hated it, you were never invited out on meals with them, not that you could eat any way you were under a strict diet plan from your managers and if you broke it you'd be in deep trouble with everyone around you, they already hated you so you didn't want to add anything else onto the list.

"Just make sure you get it right!" The lights turned back on and practise was over, Lily, the main vocalist came over and looked at you. 

"You better not mess this up for us Y/n, we have someone important coming to see us and we want this to go perfectly." You nodded in silence not wanting to say anything to her that you would regret later, she left the stage and you followed after them picking up your bag and deciding you were going to go back to the Sync building and practise all night if you had to. You tried not to think of the different companies that had approached you before you joined H.E.A.R.T, wondering about all the things that could have been if you hadn't joined but you knew thinking of what if's weren't a good thing and so you pushed them out of your head. You knew something big was happening with your band but no one was giving you details, telling you it was something you didn't need to concern yourself with yet, to focus on your dance and singing before you tried to focus on them. 

"Afternoon Ed!" You greeted your driver as you left the venue, he smiled opening the door for you. All of the members went home in different cars, going to their separate homes and not talking to one another...or at least not talking to you when you weren't with them, even when you were with them.

"How was practise?" He questioned as he started up the car, 

"Awful, drop me off at Sync I'll practise some more and I'll walk home." You told him looking in the mirror, he eyed you up knowing you were lying about walking home, you did it a lot. You'd get too stressed with work you'd practise until you'd drop and end up staying in one of the producer's studios which they didn't mind because they never found out about it, 

"It's almost midnight Y/n..."

"Just drop me off Ed, please." You pleaded taking out your phone to look through the group twitter account, fans were tweeting out about how much they loved everyone but you could only see the horrible things people say about you, how much you lacked in comparison to the rest of the girls in the group, you were going to log off for the night when you saw a rumour going around which made you think for a second.

'BTS Coming to The UK to collaborate with Sync's Girl group H.E.AR.T' You clicked on the article and read through some of it, all of their names popping up along with photographs of them at their airports, was this what everyone was keeping from you, they all knew how much you liked their music, you groaned locking your phone and throwing it into the bottom of your bag. 

"Everything okay?" You looked up at Ed who was looking at you in the mirror again, you'd known him since you'd joined H.E.A.R.T, he'd been the kindest person to you on the team and you always found yourself telling him your problems. 

"Yeah...Do you know if the BTS rumours are true?" He nodded and rolled down the window, entering his passcode to the building of Sync and looked back at you for a quick second before he continued driving through the parking lot.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" He shrugged his shoulders and you gathered your things together to get out of the car. 

"Don't push yourself too hard." You ignored his comment and headed inside of the building, showing the nightguard your ID. 

"Afternoon Terry, lovely weather." You joked with him, he rolled his eyes at you playfully and you looked around. The whole building was empty except for you, a couple of backup dancers, guard and one or two producers that were working on other people's albums. 

"It's sunny now you're here!" He yelled as you rushed towards the elevators, getting inside the waiting one and heading up to the dance floor. You were going to practise all night, even if your feet were hurting and you were crying, you were going to get this right. 

"Taehyung we need to leave what are you doing?" Hoseok asked as he saw Taehyung hanging around a door, he held his hand up for Hobi to be quiet and ushered him over, pointing through the small window of the door to point at you, you were panting heavily as you played the song again, he hadn't seen someone practising this hard since Jimin pushed himself too much back at the start of their training.

"What's she doing?" Hoseok questioned as you tried to catch your breath, standing back to look at yourself in the mirror and starting the dance again. Taehyung took in your appearance, you looked tired and overworked. You were wearing leggings and a huge baggy jumper to dance in as well as some old trainers, he glanced at his watch it was 4 am and you were the only one out of your four band members that were practising this early, if only he knew you hadn't been to bed yet.

"Should we go and talk to her?" Hoseok questioned and then he realised how creepy it would look for them to walk right in without being formally introduced to them yet. 

"We could bring her a coffee first?" Tae questioned looking at Hoseok for approval who nodded in agreement and they went on the hunt for a coffee machine.

The sheer pain you were feeling in your legs was unreal but it worth it because you finally had the dance nailed down, you could do it with your eyes closed and without counting in your head, you took out your phone to interact with fans on your single Instagram account, your bosses insisted that you all have separate accounts to update everyone one, you took a photo of you sitting on the floor with the camera covering your face. 

'Practise until you can't get it wrong' You sent it out and laid back against the floor, wanting nothing more than to take off the jumper you were wearing but you weren't at the desired weight the label wanted before they started dressing you like they did the rest of the girls you had to drop a few pounds, which you found ridiculous because most of your music was telling people how beautiful they are in their own bodies. A knock on the door alerted you that someone was around, you glanced at the time it was almost 5 am why was anyone else here yet, you kicked yourself up from the floor and walked over to the door opening it to reveal two out of seven members from BTS, you felt your stomach drop as Taehyung and Hoseok both stared at you with smiles on their faces. 

"We saw you were practising and we wanted to introduce ourselves. I'm Hobi, this is Tae." You shook both of their hands and then realised you were supposed to speak now, like...Forming actual words instead of staring at them. 

"I'm Y/n." You said in a rush, blushing deeply as they chuckled at how shy you were being around them. 

"Sorry, I'm not used to meeting people like you guys." You stated to them but they shook their hands holding out one of the iced coffees for you to take, you stared at the cup and wanted nothing more than to reach out and grab it, you'd missed the taste of it so much that you were starting to get the shakes from thinking about it. 

"I can't, but thank you." Sending them a smile and going over to your bag, 

"Where are your other members?" Hoseok questioned as he looked around the dance room, 

"Oh their out having breakfast." You lied, and badly because you saw the way that Taehyung was looking at you, you nervously looked around the room for something to talk about. 

"If you guys want I can give you a tour?" Hoseok looked at you and shook his head, 

"I have to go and work with Namjoon but I'm sure Tae here would love one." You nodded and Hoseok left you both alone, you felt nervous again being alone with him and you glanced at your hands trying to think of something to say. 

"Tour! Let's go." You cheered nervously walking with him out of the dance studio and onto the hallway, 

"This hall is all of the dance rooms and a couple of empty studios," You said taking him down the hall and towards the elevator, Tae had already gotten the tour from one of the managers in the building but he wasn't going to tell you that and ruin the time he was getting with you. He found you interesting and wanted to know more about you when he first found out about the collaboration he started learning more about you, you were the oldest of the group but the backup dancer and backup singer, you were never front of centre even though you had an exceptional amount of talent, he found himself scrolling through articles about you, and then fan chat rooms about what they thought about you compared to the other members. Most of them feeling bad that you seemed mistreated in comparison to the other girls which he started to notice as well the more he dove into your band, finding interviews of you being pushed to the back while the main vocalist Lily spoke, videos popping up of members yelling at you in soundcheck with fans there and even videos titled, 

'Why I think H.E.A.R.T hate Y/n.' Seeing you alone in the dance studio and not taking the coffee he was offering only raised his suspicions of it.

"So where are your members again?" He questioned as you showed him the top floor of the building where most of your band hung out, 

"I think Lily is going to town and the other girls all have private things going on." You lied again, completely forgetting what you'd told him earlier and he sighed looking at you, your hands were shaking and you looked like you were going to pass out. 

"Have you had anything to eat yet, we could go and get something together." You looked at him and then over at the clock on the wall, it wasn't time for your eating yet but if you shook it off again he was going to ask too many questions and you knew the company didn't want that.

"Sure." You whispered to him, telling him that the cafe downstairs served a nice English Breakfast he would have to try. 

"Morning Y/n, what can I get you?" The server, Mark, asked as you came up to the front, you looked around nervously at the menu, there was nothing you could have to eat. 

"Green tea," You said with a smile glancing over at Tae who was talking with one of the cooks as they plated his food up. 

"Who's your friend?" Your attention was back on Mark as he raised an eyebrow at you, you shook your head at him. 

"He's a band member that H.E.A.R.T are collaborating with." You took the hot drink from his hands and put it onto the tray in front of you. 

"You mean that you're collaborating with..." You laughed a little and nodded, 

"Yeah." You took your tray over to a back table, sitting down and looking at the drink in front of you as you waited for Taehyung, 

"That's all you're having?" He questioned sadly looking at the cup of green tea in front of you, you nodded with a fake smile. 

"I'm just not hungry." You lied, you'd told that lie so many times you were starting to think it was real, no matter how much your stomach moaned out for you to eat something. 

"Here," He placed a banana in front of you and you stared at it nervously, 

"Even if it's a little something, you should always eat." You nodded at his advice and picked it up, peeling it slowly and trying to think of something to get out of eating it when the doors opened at the end of the hall, 

"Good morning Lily!" The whole service crew yelled as Lily walked through the hall, going over to Mark and ordering a large breakfast for herself, she spotted you and walked over with the biggest fake smile you'd ever seen her have, 

"Y/n! We missed you at the sleepover last night!" She yelled placing her tray in front of you which was her way of telling you to move so you slid out of the seat and onto the one next to her, 

"You guys had a sleepover?" Tae questioned looking at Lily who was smiling at him, twirling her blonde hair around her finger and batting her fake eyelashes at him, you looked down at your tray. 

"Yeah! We do it all the time, we're so close." You looked around the room and realised it was starting to get busy, 

"Y/n you should go practice," Lily ordered waving her hand in your face, you stood up the banana in your hand and she took it. 

"I'll take that," You looked down sadly and rushed out of the hall, not wanting to look at her flirting with Tae for a minute longer. If you'd looked back though you would have seen Tae gazing after you as you rushed out of the hall, he stared at your green tea, you hadn't touched it and you'd been so reluctant to take the banana from him. All of his suspicions were coming true and he knew he was going to have to get you to talk to him.

"Are we all clear on what we need to do?" Your manager asked as you sat in the music studio with H.E.A.R.T and BTS, you all nodded and looked around at each other. You'd spent the last two hours in a boring long meeting about what each member would be doing but as usual, you'd been giving nothing you knew what your task was, practise until your feet were bleeding and you couldn't walk anymore, work out until you felt like you were going to drop and be nice and stay out of the way, 

"That's it then. See you all when you're finished." Your manager clapped his hands and everyone started standing up except for Taehyung who was staring at you and raising his hand. 

"Yes, Tae?" The manager questioned, everyone's attention turning to him including yours, you wondered what he was going to say. 

"I was wondering what Y/n's job is, you haven't given her a task." Lily let out a cough as she looked at him and then to you. 

"Y/n has to practise a lot, she's not ready for the stage performance, but she's getting there aren't you darling?" She questioned throwing her arm around your waist and causing you to flinch which didn't go unnoticed by Tae and the rest of BTS, they all stared at you waiting for an answer. 

"Yeah, I have personal training this morning as well...So I have to go." You said excusing yourself and practically sprinting from the room to get away from them all staring at you, you knew it was going to end up with your manager screaming at you. 

It was the end of the day and people were starting to leave, you'd managed to avoid everyone all day, avoiding Tae whenever he came by the dance studio by pretending not to hear him knocking over the music, Lily had come down to see you after the incident and told you not to speak to any of them, even if they spoke to you first to make up some kind of excuse as to why you couldn't stop and talk to them and she went into detail about how amazing the song she was writing with Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok was perfect and that the girls were all having fun with the other members.

"Ed where are you?" You asked into the answerphone as you waited in the lobby of the building for him but he was running late, Lily walked past you and pretended not to see you and the other girls had already left so you sat down against the wall and decided to wait for him.

"Hi Y/n, how was your day?" Hoseok asked in a joyful tone as he came to sit next to you, you looked at him and nodded, you had nowhere to go and no way of getting out of talking to him. 

"It was good, yours?" He nodded and then looked at his phone, pretending to have read something you knew that because his screen was black. 

"Your manager wants to see you, come on I'll walk you up." You frowned and screamed as he pulled you up from the floor by your hand and began dragging you through the building and into the lifts, going up to the main studio.

"What does he want me for?" The door was opened and your manager was standing there, you blinked and looked around the room Tae was sitting there with a smile on his face, 

"Tae has expressed he would like to work with you, I've told him how busy you are but he said he's willing to tag along. Meet your teammate." You nodded and Tae smiled at you again, 

"I'll talk to you outside." You manager stated taking you by the wrist and pulling you from the room. 

"You were under instructions not to talk to them." You shook your head at him ready to defend yourself but he held his hand up in front of your face, 

"You go about everything as usual, if he's there or not I don't care. You will not let the team down!" You nodded as he whisper yelled at you causing you to flinch at how close he was. 

"Go and greet your new teammate." He pushed you back inside the room and you smiled at both of the boys, 

"What time shall I meet you here tomorrow?" You looked at Tae, this was serious about him being with you all the time. 

"Erm, probably around 7 am." You lied knowing you'd been there earlier for private practice with Clive and then your training session, 

"I'll meet you in the cafe." You nodded and awkwardly looked around the studio when your phone started ringing. 

"You're outside? I'll be right down." You hung up on Ed and said a quick goodbye to the boys rushing out of the room and going to the exit. 

"You sure she's going to tell you the truth?" Hoseok asked sitting on the sofa across from Tae who was gazing after you longingly, he nodded. 

"I'm sure of it." 

It had been a week since Tae was assigned as your partner and it had been hard to keep everything from him as your bosses wanted. You were more tired than usual and he was starting to pick up on things, it started off calm. He would meet you at the time you'd given him but once he realised you'd clearly been at work for longer he started coming to work earlier to see if he could find what you were doing. Then it was the coffee's, every morning he would bring you a coffee ''forgetting'' that you couldn't drink it, same with food. He'd take you out to lunch only for you to make up some excuse for not eating in front of him and you were slowly starting to lose your patience with him. Maybe it was the lack of sleep you were getting and the lack of food contributing to you but you were starting to get angry with everyone so that's why that morning when he showed up to work at 4 am you flipped. 

"What are you doing here?" You questioned as he followed you towards the dance studios, 

"Now I know the real-time you come in." You tried to laugh it off but he wasn't laughing, he had a serious look on his face as you started to get ready for your dancing lesson. 

"Why are you here this early and Lily get's to come in late?" Question after question was thrown at you while you waited for Clive to arrive and you finally had enough of the constant questions. 

"Because Lily is perfect! Lily is the main leader for us and she doesn't need all the practise like I do." You yelled at him, not meaning to yell at him the way you did and you felt your heartbreak at the way he looked at you. You'd seen the look before, it was the look someone gave you when they felt sorry for you and you didn't want that.

"Can you wait downstairs, I have to practise and then work out." He nodded and backed out of the room wondering what you meant by Lily was perfect. You were perfect, well in his eyes at least. You were the sweetest person he'd met in the UK, besides Army of course, but you'd been so kind to him. You took him sightseeing one night and took him to get food, and you even offered him a place to stay when he was locked out of their hotel room. He'd enjoyed his time getting to know you in the studio as you wrote song lyrics together, none of them being given to anyone important, he'd realised that yesterday when he asked Namjoon on the thoughts of the lyrics you'd written because Tae thought they were brilliantly written but Namjoon told him he hadn't been given anything even though Tae gave the lyrics to your manager specifically for that reason and hearing you talk about Lily this morning was putting everything into place and he knew you were close to talking to him about it.

"About this morning, I'd like to say sorry. I wasn't myself and I don't know what I was saying." Tae heard you say in the most monotone possible as you looked at the floor, he glanced around the room and noticed Lily watching you from the doorway of the cafe, 

"It's fine. Sit down." You shook your head if you stayed you'd cry and you didn't want to cry. You'd already cried enough in front of your manager, they'd found out what you said to Tae and they weren't exactly happy that you were shouting at a guest of theirs. 

"I have to go. I'm sorry, I can't be partnered with you but Lily said she is more than willing to have you on her team." He shook his head standing up, he wasn't going to stand for this anymore. You were clearly upset and not willing to talk about it in front of anyone in the building, he took your wrist in his which made you look at his hand and then up to his face. 

"Meet me at the exit tonight, don't make up some lame excuse and don't ask for their permission either." You tried to protest but you knew all eyes were on you and there would be questions if you looked like you were having some kind of conversation so you just stared at his hand again. 

"Fine." You mumbled moving away from him and going past Lily who stopped you by linking her arms with yours, trying to act friendly in front of workers on the bottom floor. 

"What did he say to you?" She questioned with a smile but she wasn't being nice, you could tell by the tone of her voice and the tight squeeze she was giving your arm. 

"That he'll think about working with you," You lied looking over your shoulder at the rest of the girls. 

"We're all going to lunch, I'd invite you but...Well, you know." She said patting your stomach and flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder and leaving you alone in the empty hall, you felt your eyes starting to well up and you just cleared your throat, going towards the lifts and going up to the dance floor to get ready for your practice session. 

Tae stared down at his phone, he'd been texting you all day after he saw Lily walking with you and patting you on the stomach, but you weren't replying to him and he was starting to worry about it, he didn't want to worry about you but there was something inside of him that made him want to look after you, maybe he was the feelings he was starting to have for you but he tried to push them away, he'd only known you a week and you hadn't spoken about yourself much, it was more about work than anything else and the only time you spoke about yourself was when you were writing lyrics, the lyrics were meaningful and beautiful and he could tell you'd written them from the heart despite you telling him it was something you made up on the spot, they were all about being in a toxic environment and living with people who were toxic towards you. Then there were the songs he'd found in your notebook when you weren't looking, songs about having no privacy thanks to people following you everywhere, and others about not having real friends because everyone faked liking you to get closer to the fame they craved more. 

"Have you seen Y/n?" Tae asked Yoongi as he walked towards the exit of the building, Yoongi looked up from his phone and nodded. 

"Still dancing, I heard the music as I passed the door." Tae thanked him and sprinted towards the lifts, going up and looking at his phone. 

"Fuck!" You cried out as you collapsed onto the floor after getting the wrong move again, they'd changed the main choreography you'd spent so long on getting right and now it was harder than before, though Clive told you the girls got it right away and if they could do it why couldn't you put your smaller mind to it. All thoughts of going to meet Tae were out of your mind, you wanted to get this right before you went home, and if that meant staying up all night and day again then that's what you were going to do but that was before you collapsed onto the floor now you were just mad at yourself. You got up from the floor and looked at yourself in the mirror, taking off the oversized jumper you were wearing to reveal the Nike crop top and matching leggings that you were wearing, no one was around you could get away with dancing in the proper clothes for once. 

Tae watched from the door as you stepped back away from the jumper and looked at yourself in the mirror, he took in your appearance and wanted to barge into the room, you looked as though you hadn't eaten in weeks and from hanging around you so much he knew you hadn't eaten a single thing around him so he wondered if you were even eating in the first place. 

"Shit." You cried out as you missed a step, something he would look over in practice but it looked like you were about to break down into tears. 

The breakdown had been a long time coming and it was a train wreck when it finally hit you, you grabbed hold of the chair that you were using in the practice and launched it at the floor-length mirror without thinking, watching as the breaking glass showered on the floor, sharp pieces flying out at you and cutting into your exposed skin.

Tae jumped up looking through the window and pushing the door open, you were on the floor cradling your arm as it bled, he heard the glass through the music and door so he was sure someone else would have heard it, he rushed to your side and helped you stand up. You didn't take notice of who was helping you, you couldn't see through your tears anyway, 

"Come on before someone finds you." He whispered rushing you out of the dance studio and down the hallway, getting into a lift and looking at you as you dropped onto the floor sobbing as you shoved your hands into your hair. 

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm right here." He told you dropping onto the floor, you looked at him and then to the camera into the corner of the lift and it was as if Tae watched a switch in your head flip, your tears stopped, you stood up and acted as though you didn't know him. He glanced around the lift and saw the camera you'd spotted, he followed along with what you were doing but he could hear you crying in silence as blood dropped onto the floor. He studied your arm as you descended floors with him in total silence beside from a couple of sobs coming from you, it wasn't deep enough to need stitches but he was going to have to help you with it, 

"You okay?" You stayed silent as you walked out of the lift, folding your arms over your stomach to hide your body from anyone that was looking.

"Here," He laid his jacket over your shoulders and walked out of the Sync building, there were going to be cameras everywhere so he rushed you into his waiting car not caring about the cameras for now but only for your well being.

Both you and Tae were sitting in silence in his hotel room as he used the first aid kit to clean you up, you'd stopped crying now but you knew they would start again if he started asking questions, he stared up at you as you stared down at the plug socket on the wall. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" You shook your head slowly and he got up to answer the door, it was Namjoon holding a tray of food. 

"Thanks," Tae said looking at Namjoon as he glanced over at you, 

"She going to be okay?" Tae shrugged his shoulders really not knowing the answer to the question. He shut the door and put the tray onto the table beside you, you didn't even look at it your eyes were back on the plug. 

"Eat." He said to you but you ignored him again. 

"Eat." He repeated in a more demanding tone, you looked up at him and then to the plate. It was a fruit salad with a glass of water, you took a strawberry from the plate and put it into your mouth, forcing yourself to swallow it. 

"I should go." You said trying to leave but Tae shook his head, 

"You should talk...If not to me than to someone else." You felt your eyes welling up again and you hated yourself for crying in front of someone you barely knew, you'd known him for a week and you were already ready to spill everything to him, there was something about him that made you feel like you could confide in him, tell him your problems and just relax but at the same time you knew you couldn't do that, he was close to your managers and he was in the business. 

"It's nothing. I'm just a little tired." You lied to him again and he still stood in front of you demanding answers from you. 

"Tae please." You whispered your voice breaking as you pleaded with him to drop the subject but Tae was going to keep you all night if he had to. 

"Lily is throwing a sleepover, I have to go or they'll get upset." You lied again but Tae shook his head, he knew for a fact that you weren't invited to the sleepover, he'd overheard Lily joking to the girls about how you were never there. 

"I know you don't, talk to me." He dropped onto his knees in front of you and took your hands in his and tried to look at you but you avoided his gaze. 

"You said Lily was perfect? Does that mean you're trying to be like her?" You stayed silent again, still staring at the floor as he threw question after question at you. 

"Is it the pressure of being in the business?" You shook your head at him and then looked around the room. No one would know, no one would know if you broke down in front of him and told him everything you were feeling...Unless he told someone then it would be all over. 

"I'll tell you if you don't talk to anyone else about it." You whispered taking your hand from his and wiping the tears away from you. You were still sitting in his jacket, it was wrapped around you tightly so he couldn't see your body. You'd always had to hide it from people so he was no different. 

"I'm not ready for the stage. Manager James says I have a long way to go before I'm ready and my dancing isn't great so I practise until I can't anymore." He knew this already, he knew this because it's the same story your manager gave him but he didn't believe it for a second.

"You said Lily was perfect..."

"Lily is perfect." You snapped standing up from the seat and scaring Tae a little as he stumbled backwards, steadying himself on the edge of the bed and standing up. 

"She's perfect, she's the perfect size, has the perfect voice and style and she's everybody's favourite...Everyone loves her." You looked out of the hotel room it was raining and you sighed. 

"Your dancing is perfect though..." Tae tried to say but you shut that down before he could continue. 

"It's far from it, I'm always messing it up...Mostly because they're always changing it up on me and not telling me." You scoffed thinking back to them not telling you that BTS was coming. 

"You know they didn't tell me you guys were coming...They kept it a secret because I didn't need to 'concern myself with it'," You scoffed again finally everything was spilling out and Tae just stayed silent letting you rant, he could tell you needed it.

"I'm on a strict diet plan while the other girls get to do what they want because I'm the one that isn't perfect. I'm the broken one. The one that doesn't fit in their perfect little jigsaw puzzle." Tae watched as you finally let the tears floor for the second time that night, you started sobbing into your hands and he moved next to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to cry onto his shoulder. 

"Fuck...Please don't tell them I told you all of that." You whispered referring to the hour-long rant you'd just gone on at him for, he shook his head promising he wouldn't but not meaning it, he had to tell someone, even if it was going to Namjoon for advice he couldn't let you go on like this. The company was treating you like trash, you were thrown to the back because you weren't the ''same'' like everyone else, you were told to be quiet in interviews because you were louder and had a bigger personality than the girls which Taehyung loved because having a bigger and more outrageous personality was a lot like him and he adored people like that but he'd not seen you acting like that in the time he'd known you, he'd only seen it in old videos he found on the internet one night after a long day at the studios. 

You'd ranted to him about the strict rules you were given regarding your diet, you were only allowed to eat within four hours and the rest of the 20 hours you were only allowed green tea and water as if that wasn't bad enough you were forced to work out and dance more than the others even though your dancing was fine in Taehyung's eyes. You explained to him how you had no one to go to, your family gave up on you because they didn't see a future in your dreams and any friends you had were fake to get closer to the other girls or to get gossip for the news articles.

You'd been sitting with Tae for the last four hours, the conversation had moved onto talking about him, talking about what it was like in Korea and where he'd travelled, you were starting to show your true colours to him bringing out your personality as he questioned you about your life before the company took you in, 

"Where do you want to go most in the world?" He questioned you, you thought about it for a moment before deciding on a place, 

"I always wanted to go to Amsterdam for the Anne Frank house and then the Van Gough Museum." You told him taking out your phone and showing him your wallpaper, it was a picture of the Amsterdam flower show. 

"It's lovely, we stopped there once. You'll adore the museum." He told you taking out his phone and showing you the photos he had of him and the boys in Amsterdam.

More time passed and it was getting closer to midnight, you'd spent almost six hours in the hotel room together talking about everything and anything that came to your minds, asking each other random questions and it was starting to get deep, 

"You're the only person I've felt that liked me for me..." You whispered to him as you started eating the fruit on the plate in front of you, he was happy when you finally started to eat in front of him and he didn't feel like he was going to have to force it down your throat, 

"Because I do like you for you." He chuckled softly as you ate the fruit, making a note to order some more when you finished. 

"I have to go soon." You mumbled looking at the time, you didn't want to leave. You were enjoying your time with him and he was enjoying the time you were having with him.

"Or you could stay...I'll sleep on the sofa and we can go to work together." Work. You put down the fork you were using to eat the throat and then looked at the now empty plate. 

"Work." You whispered to yourself, forgetting that you were going to have to go back at some point and Tae stared at you, instantly knowing that going back wasn't the best of ideas right now. 

"Or! We can go sightseeing tomorrow together, Namjoon was telling me about this small bookshop near King's Cross Station, we could go and check it out." You swallowed hard and nodded, a day off sounded perfect, you hadn't had a real day off in over a year and spending the whole day with him sounded like a dream come true. 

"I'd like that." You whispered to him and he nodded, 

"Go and take a shower, you can borrow some of my clothes for the night and for tomorrow and I'll get the sofa ready for myself." You shook your head, you weren't going to let him sleep on the sofa. 

"I'll take the sofa." You insisted not waiting for him to answer and going into the bathroom to have a shower. 

"Here, stand there." You said between giggles trying to get Tae to pose for a photo but he was acting silly with you for it. 

"Tae!" You giggled as he pulled another funny face at the end you glanced around to make sure no one had heard you yell his name and finally took a good normal photo before he insisted on taking yours. 

"Fine." You grumbled hiding your face behind your hands but he shook his head, 

"No hiding, we want to see your beautiful face." You felt a blush creeping up on your cheeks and you moved your hands, flashing him a bright smile and going to look at the photo. 

"Son! Son! Come here!" An elderly man said as you passed him, you both stopped to ask what he wanted when he showed Taehyung a selection of homemade jewellery. 

"For your pretty girlfriend."

"Oh, we're no-"

"I'll take this one," Taehyung said to the man before you could protest, Tae paid for the bracelet and walked over to you. 

"Hold out your wrist," You did as he told you too and he tied the dreamcatcher bracelet around your wrist and tapped it. 

"It's adorable." You whispered looking at the plated thread and smiling at the man before you and Taehyung continued your walk into town. You'd been in London centre and not once had anyone noticed you, it was too busy for anyone to care who was around and it was nice to hang around with someone who wasn't just pretending to be nice to you. 

"I've really enjoyed today Tae." You said as you crossed the road to find that small bookshop Namjoon had told Tae about, Tae smiled and nodded in agreement. That morning you both laid awake talking about your plans for the day while you had breakfast, for the first time in a year you had a real breakfast instead of a green tea, and you called in sick to work, which wasn't the best of things because your manager screamed at you about the broken mirror but you pushed the negative thoughts away and focused on the day ahead with Tae. 

"I have to, it's the most fun I've had since we came." He said as you entered the shop, the bell above the door dinging when it opened and causing a small elderly lady to pop up from behind a desk and smile at you both, 

"Good afternoon." She greeted before sitting back down again, you looked at Tae and he smiled at you urging you to walk further into the shop so you did, going towards the back and looking through all the books and old records that they had.

"I've been looking for some new ones for my record player." You said pulling out a record and showing Tae who looked at it with a fond smile telling you about his classical CD collection back home and how he was going to have to text you recommendations when he got back to Korea.

"When do you go back?" You questioned as you took the records you'd gotten over to the counter, 

"In a week, or once the song is done." He said as the woman packed up the bag for you. 

"Well, we better make today the best day ever before you go back."

And the best day it was, you'd spent the whole day travelling around London going to different shops and then taking him to the natural history museum and told him boring facts that you knew but now you were back at his hotel room and getting ready to leave, the hotel had dry cleaned your clothes from the night before and you were getting ready to leave him, 

"Let me look at your arm," Tae said taking your wrist into his hand and looking at it, he removed the plaster and checked that it was healing okay and it was but Tae felt sad about the fact that you were going to be leaving him soon was starting to hit him and he didn't want that. 

"You should have something to eat here tonight." He offered and you looked at him, the realisation of going back to work tomorrow was coming and you knew you were going to be in deep trouble for taking the day off. 

"I can't, but I'll probably see you around the offices tomorrow." You said sadly to him, you didn't want to leave either but you knew you had to. 

"Okay, I guess I'll see you tomorrow." You both stood there awkwardly for a couple of seconds neither of you knew what to do, a hug or to just leave so it was weird until he dragged you into a tight hug and wrapped his arms around you, you relaxed against his touch and laid your head on his shoulder wanting nothing more than to stay in his arms all night as you felt your stomach doing a flips over and over again as he hands travelled down your back and pulling away from you. 

"See you tomorrow." He whispered leaving a kiss on your cheek making you blush. 

"See you tomorrow," You giggled and walked out of the hotel room dressed in his clothes and taking your newly cleaned ones down and out of the hotel with you. 

"That was unacceptable! Do you not understand the consequences of your actions!" Your manager screamed, he was turning red in the face. You'd come to work that morning only to be dragged into the main studio with your manager and Lily, both of them starting to scream about how inappropriate it was to take a day off after smashing up one of the rooms. Walking past the door at the minute Lily started screaming was Namjoon and Taehyung and Namjoon raised an eyebrow wondering what was happening when Tae stayed to listen, 

"What's that about?" Tae looked at you through the small window of the door you looked like you were about to start crying again and he'd only just been able to cheer you up yesterday and the night before, he glanced back at Namjoon and decided he had to tell someone what you were going through, he wasn't going to let you go through this alone and he wasn't about to let your manager talk to you that way again. 

"Excuse me this is a private-Oh, hello boys. What can we help you with?" Your manager asked turning his attention to Namjoon who was in the door looking at you he looked pissed off and Tae looked guilty as he stood behind him. 

"Is it true?" Lily stood up looking between you and the boys, you looked at the floor not wanting to look at anyone who was staring at you. 

"Is what true? That she smashed up the dance studio, it is and we're punishing her for it." Namjoon ignored your manager and stared at you waiting for an answer from you but it was clear you weren't going to give him an answer,

"She smashed it up and took the day off because she's a delinquent," Lily stated looking at Namjoon with her fake smile but Namjoon ignored her as well, you looked up to see Tae looking at you with sad eyes. 

"Yes it is, I smashed up the mirror." He shook his head at you and you frowned Namjoon wasn't going to stand for it, he stood up straight and turned to your manager. 

"Do you treat all your staff like this or just Y/n?" You frowned and then it came to you, Tae had told Namjoon everything you'd told him. 

"Treat her like what?" Lily giggled trying to calm down the situation and failing instantly, Hoseok was standing there along with Yoongi, Jimin, Jin and Jungkook all of them staring in through the door with Tae as you stared at Tae. 

"Come here," He mouth and you slowly moved towards the door, Namjoon walking out of it first. 

"You take one more step and you'll be out of H.E.A.R.T!" Your manager yelled causing you to freeze on the spot, the thought of being out of H.E.A.R.T was exciting and scary at the same time, you'd have nowhere to go and your music career would be gone if you were fired from Sync but being out of the toxic work environment would be a relief to you.

"I mean it!" He yelled again but you stepped out of the door and Taehyung smiled at you. 

"You can kiss everything goodbye Y/n!" Lily yelled as you walked further down the hall, the BTS members following behind you and Namjoon muttering that he was never going to work with a company like that again. You all waited for the elevator and Tae pulled you towards the back so he could talk to you in a hushed tone. 

"You okay?" You nodded looking up from the floor to his eyes and smiling,

"Yeah...I think it's probably not sunk in that I'm jobless just yet." You joked getting into the elevator with all of them and staring in front of you as the doors shut, 

"You could always be a backup dancer for us." Hoseok joked causing everyone to chuckle around you as you went down to the bottom floor, 

"No, we'll find you something...Or I will, I won't rest until we find you something." Tae promised, turning to look at Namjoon for some advice but he was on his phone angrily typing an email to Sync and BigHit about how the collaboration was off and he would never work with them again for as long as they worked in the business, Yoongi stepped forward with an idea when you all came out of the lift. 

"We could record a song with you?" You stared at him and then to Tae who was nodding and looking to Namjoon who was now paying attention to the conversation, 

"We were promised a collaboration with someone." You shook your head at them as you walked out of the building and into the black SUV that was waiting for them, ignoring the cameras as people yelled out questions. 

"But you're wanting to collaborate with someone who's with a company, no one wants a song from a nobody." Namjoon shook his head at you as you spoke about yourself like that, 

"You're somebody, you're up and coming and you're going to be a star." He chuckled taking out his phone and scrolling through it before he held it up to his ear, you drowned out of the conversation as you stared out of the window. 

Being kicked out of Sync had it's ups and downs, at first it was all the papers covered, you couldn't go home without people sitting outside your door and wanting answers on what had really gone down in the building as Sync were only letting out that you'd had a disagreement with the company and you were being let go. While many H.E.AR.R.T fans were disappointed after a couple of weeks they started to see how much happier you were now you weren't in the band, you were doing weekly live streams on Instagram and interacting with people who were sticking with you, as you were promising that new music was coming even if you had to switch to releasing your own music on youtube you were going to start producing music but there was one big secret you were hiding from everyone and that was not one, but two big songs were coming that were working with BTS. Namjoon had kept his promise about working with you and you were getting ready to release it that morning.

"Are you sure people will like it?" You asked Taehyung nervously as you sat in his hotel room, setting up your phone at the table, you were going to do an Instagram live feed to announce that it was out and you were going to have each member on the screen as a nice surprise. 

"Of course, it's an amazing song that talks about your struggles with your past." You smiled at him, in the two months you'd been away from the company you were getting closer and closer with each member but you were closer with Taehyung than any other member, maybe it was because he was the one helping you with the struggles of leaving Sync or maybe because of the crush you had on him. 

"I don't think I would have made it through this without you." You told him as you finished setting up and stood next to him both of you staring out of the window at London, they'd managed to convince their bosses to let them stay over a little while longer and everything was going according to plan. 

"I'm glad we could help." You shook your head at him, 

"No Tae, you. I couldn't have done it without you here." You said trying to make him realise you meant him, you'd been trying to drop hints to him that you'd liked him for a while but he didn't seem to get the message. 

"Oh," He chuckled nervously, the truth was he'd started to like you as more than a friend too and he had no idea how to approach it, he hadn't kissed you since he'd kissed you on the cheek the night before you were fired and that kiss left him wanting more. He knew he liked you from the moment he saw you dancing.

"I'm glad I could help-" You sighed looking at him, you knew you were going to have to be straight with him so you took a deep breath.

"I like you Tae...More than a friend." He stared at you, neither of you said anything he just stepped closer to you and cupped your face in his hands, kissing you. It was cheesy to say but it felt just like the movies, everything around you seemed to stop and the only thing you cared about was his hands on you, his lips against yours as he pulled your body closer to him, falling back onto the bed and sitting you on his lap and running his fingers through your hair. You pulled back for a breath before he kissed you again, it was soft and slow and it felt perfect until you heard knocking at the door and it brought the world crashing back to you both, you jumped away from him and he went to answer the door. 

"We aren't interrupting anything are we?" Jimin teased as he entered the room noting that Tae's hair was messed up, that would be from where you'd been running your hands through his permed hair. 

"No, I was just getting the stream ready." You lied going over to your phone and sitting down at the table and trying to hide your blush that would creep up whenever you would look over at Tae. 

"Hi, guys! I have some special guests with me today since the new song goes out in..." You looked at the time, 

"30 Seconds." You giggled looking at the comments, people commenting in all capitals demanding answers, you shook your head and the boys came over sitting either side of you so you pushed the camera further away so they could all fit in the screen. 

"We made a song! And it's up...Now!" You giggled looking at the comments and then deciding to leave them to listen to the song and promising to come back on later to talk to them all again. 

"We should go out tonight to celebrate!" Jungkook said in an excited tone jumping up and down as they released their song at the same time, your phone was blowing up in the corner with notifications from new followers, Army's tweeting to you about how much they were living the song and couldn't wait to hear more from you.

"I told you everything would be okay," Tae whispered to you making you blush a little as his hand brushed against the small of your back, that action didn't go unnoticed by Namjoon who was eyeing you both up from the corner of the room. 

"We should all get ready for the meal, see you later Y/n." Everyone followed after Namjoon and you stayed behind looking at Taehyung who was making sure they were all gone before he bounded over to you and grabbed your face, kissing you passionately and pulling as close as your bodies could manage, you ran your hands through his black hair and smiled against his lips as your heart began to beat faster with every passing second, 

"You're so fucking perfect." He groaned pulling you onto the bed so you were sitting on his lap again, you giggled against him and looked into his eyes. 

"You're perfect." You mumbled kissing him again and never wanting the moment to end, he chuckled pulling away and tucking the hair behind your ear, running his thumb along your cheek in a loving manner, he could never get tired of looking at you, spending time with you and now he could finally kiss you, he was never going to get sick of that. All thoughts of him going back to Korea weren't in your mind, all that mattered in the moment was that you were spending time together, and you were going to be in the moment for as long as you could, spending all the time you could before he went back. 

"Would it be too late to ask you to come out with just me tonight?" He chuckled twirling a strand of your hair around his finger, you groaned you wanted to spend the night on a one on one date with him as well but Jungkook seemed really excited about being together as a group. 

"Jungkook looked excited though." You mumbled to him looking over at the door knowing they'd be back soon to take you out. 

"But we can go out tomorrow night." You whispered nuzzling your nose against his and standing up from his lap, you were going to have to wear something of his to dinner and the pair of black jeans you'd come to the hotel in.

"Can I wear one of your shirts?" You questioned going over to his wardrobe and looking through it, taking one of his multicoloured dress shirts and turning to look at him, 

"Sure." You rushed into the bathroom, changing into his shirt and running a brush through your hair, the only makeup you had one was some eyeliner so you were just going to have to deal with it. You came out of the bathroom and smiled at Tae, doing a small spin and showing him the dress shirt of his that you'd tucked into the top of your black high waisted jeans, 

"How do you look better in that than me?" He groaned walking over to you and pulling you into his arms, looking down at you and smirking. 

"Because I'm the better looking one." You joked leaning up and kissing him on the nose, he grumbled something and pulled you in for a real kiss, running his hand through your hair and pulling away.

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of kissing you." He whispered to you, stepping away and taking another one of his dress shirts and going to get himself ready for the meal. You smiled to yourself, wondering how you ended up so lucky to be here but being happy about it either way. 

tagline: 

@yoongisdumplingcheeks​ @snowy-meowl​ @lynnthevirgo​ @yourguessisasgoodasminemate​ @btsiguess-kpop​ @ficdump101​ @babymochichimmy​

#bts #bts x reader #bts x you #bts x y/n #bts reactions #bts reaction #bts imagine #bts imagines #kim seokjin #seokjin #jin #min yoongi #yoongi #suga #jung hoseok #hoseok #jhope #kim namjoon #namjoon #park jimin #jimin #kim taehyung #taehyung #taehyung x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook x reader #namjoon x reader #jimin x reader #hoseok x reader

[enochianribs]

until it no longer hurts. (cabin/wing fic). read it here, or under the cut.

(accompanying playlist / aesthetic board (thanks @disableddean)

CHAPTER 3. (formatting is lost via tumblr text post fyi)

ch.1 / ch.2

As he lays there, unconscious to the world, and all those things that go bump in the night, his life sorts itself cleanly into two: before and after—   not for the first time.

In fact, there were several times before this. There was before the fire, before the loss of his mother, before John started hunting, before Jess died, before Sammy went to rehab, before Dean picked up that knife. 

Before before before.  

The question has hung in front of him for quite some time now.

What happens after? 

What happens to him, when all is said and done?

The bed is warm and soft and he sinks into it. A hand presses against his chest, pins him down and muscle memory tells him to go for the knife, fingers flexing outward and then curling in, his nails catching on the sheet. 

This is safe. 

Here in this moment, no one can touch him. The tiny flowers on the sheets molt before his eyes, little petals rising out of the fabric and blooming. They're feather light against his bare skin, and the weight of his body is crushing them. He makes a noise of upset, and a hand comes down to press a finger to his mouth, hushing him gently. 

<It's okay.> 

Slowly, he wakes. The warmth from the finger still lingers against his lips, but the bed is hard where his face presses against it, eyelashes fluttering, his eyes open just a crack. The wood of the table greets him, and the sunlight is just now poking through the blinds once again, casting the same lines across the pine knots, along the curves of his outstretched forearm and across where his head faces towards the sun. 

"It's okay." He murmurs, and for an incredibly brief moment he is perplexed by why the words slip from between his lips, until one of his knuckles grazes bare skin. 

His evening comes back. 

Before. 

Before Wings. 

Slowly, Dean sits upright, suddenly entirely aware of the being lying on his table, and his heart beats in his mouth and his fingers catch on something, pulling him even further from the comfort and haze of his dream. He ducks his head in, looking down at where his hand is stuck. His fingers are still woven between Wings', his own a shade lighter.

Dean sits very still.  

He’s afraid to make a sound and wake him up, so he stays there for a moment, assessing the situation he’s willingly walked himself into.

The stranger’s chest rises and lowers every few seconds, almost imperceptibly so.  The gauze is brown from oxidized blood, but it doesn't appear to have been soaked through in the night, proving Dean's improvised medic work satisfactory. The stitches held. 

Huh, Dean thinks. He should be thankful for the live or die experiences thrust upon him by his father's recklessness. 

Half the time, Dean's afraid he took pages out of John's book.

And that would be okay. Well, it wouldn’t—  but he—  he could cope with that. He could work through it. He’s beginning to understand that even as the world ended, it would still spin, and day would come and the night would consume and he’d be okay. 

It’s unspeakably comforting, the feeling of fingers tucked between his own, the way Dean’s calloused palm presses against another, like a bond is forming quietly between a man waking from his dream and another still ensnared. 

“It’s okay.” Dean says one more time, the words an impulse.

Wings stirs, his upper lip twitching a hairsbreadth, and Dean braces for the cry of pain that always comes with waking, even if it’s not aloud. Anticipating the event horizon of his world ending with Wings consciousness, Dean grabs a glass of water, and the bottle of alcohol, and a rag before coming to stand next to his head, his thighs pressed against the edge of the table. 

He stares down at him, and his head feels clearer than it did last night. The stranger’s hair is unruly, unkempt, and Dean can’t tell how long it’s been like that—  how long this winged man has been living in the forest. The locks are nearly as dark as his wings, but the sunlight exposes their truthful deep brown color. It’s tangled here and there, and Dean has to try and restrain himself from carding his fingers through it to work out the knots. A residual caretaking instinct he has had yet no luck fighting.

When they were kids, Sammy always refused to brush his hair, and it was never really a problem when it was just him and Sam. But school begged a shred of presentability from the two, lest child services were called, so he kept up Sam’s appearance for him. Dean kept them fed, schooled, he took care of them both, though Sam always came first. 

Should have always come first. 

Now Dean’s here with someone else’s blood under his fingernails, and there’s a hunter on the loose who probably has it out for them both. And he’s not even a real hunter. He's just some guy with a gun and a penchant for killing things.

    Dean’s officially in over his head. 

Dark smudges look like they’ve been pressed underneath his eyes with two uncaring thumbs, and a distinct line of his cheekbones drags in a swoop across either side of his face. His lips are full but chapped and Dean wonders why he cares, but the urge to dab a spot of lotion against them nearly overpowers him. 

He’s trying hard to ignore the wings. 

There’s finding a human man and then there is finding a man with wings, real wings, with muscle and tendons and quivering feathers, and yep there it is, that edge of panic. 

The word hangs over his head but Dean refuses to use it. His mother’s bedtime stories aren’t real.

Demons are. He knows that now, though they are few and far between. But the a-- no. 

Dean shakes his head.

There's never been any proof. 

He rocks his weight from foot to foot, debating his best course of action. Minutes pass, but the man doesn’t stir again, so finally Dean sucks it up and takes his hand and pats it against his cheek, gently. His skin feels rough against the surprising softness, even the barest hint of stubble is nearly feather soft.  

He comes to sit on the edge of the table.

“Hey.” He murmurs, uselessly.  “Wake up?”

Please wake up.

Wings’ head moves, only slightly, pressing against his hand. Dean freezes like a deer in headlights, caught touching when he should have only been looking. Heat crawls up his cheeks and his stomach flips. 

“Fucking hell, Dean.” He mutters, pulling his hand away and he cocks his head, unsure if he really heard a quiet, sad noise leave the man still lying seemingly unconscious on his table. 

A warm, steady hand snakes out and grabs his wrist. Dean swallows his own quiet noise. It takes everything to look up again, scared of what he’s going to see.

When they lock eyes that fear melts.  

Wings flexing underneath his back, extending as far as they can go until the longest feathers graze the floor and the farthest tip brushes the wall near the dining table, the stranger looks up at him with clear eyes. His lips move rapidly, as he soundlessly repeats something over and over. One side of his face clenches up in pain as he tries to sit up.

Dust particles drift from the rafters like nothing is amiss, little bokehs proving that what Dean sees is real. He still doesn’t believe it.  

“Hey, hey, hey,” he keeps his voice low, holding his breath and extending his hands, palms out, as a friendly act. “I’m not—  I’m not gonna hurt you, just, you gotta let me get—” 

    Before Dean’s fingers even lift the bandaging to inspect the damage, there’s a forearm against his throat, and he’s pinned against the table by strong arms and they form an iron cage to hold him there. Two strong legs straddle him. Whatever he was going to say dies in his throat. 

    “Wings—” 

    The stranger barks something out, the syllables harsh and completely foreign, staring down at Dean with a combustion-prone concoction of fear, confusion and leftover adrenaline mixing behind the blue. 

    “Please I—” 

The arm presses against his windpipe even harder, and Dean meets the icy stare. Wings tilts his head, and his eyes narrow, his lips hanging open slightly, like he wants to say something. 

“I’m trying to help you.” 

    The pressure lessens a fraction, and Dean takes the opportunity to whip his arm up, hand sliding between him and Wings’ own, and he pushes him away and back a short inch, but it’s enough to throw the smaller man. Finally free, his throat drags in a breath but he doesn’t plan on giving wings another opening, so he brings his knee up from under the other man, using it as a brace to prevent him from overpowering him again. 

    He says the first thing that flies through his pea-brain. “Who are you?” Lord help him, he may just be the stupidest man alive. “What do I call you?” Asking him to introduce himself seems like the dumbest possible direction for the scene playing out. 

    With the quilt long gone, the stranger is fully indecent again, and Dean’s trying very hard to ignore it, because it’s the icing on the unreal cake. Fire creeps up his cheeks regardless and Dean squirms. 

A black arm brings itself up and around Wing’s body curling as though it was a protective stance. It reminds him of a knight with a shield. Everything else about his posture screams prey animal, and Dean can tell when the ghost of a fight is reverberating through someone’s muscle memory.

What the fuck did Campbell do to him? 

To top it all off, Dean realizes he did a terrible job of cleaning the blood away from his mouth. The blue takes over his eyes as his pupil’s become pinpricks of something primal and it doubles with the dried blood smeared down the hollow of his throat. 

“Hey,” Dean’s voice is low and shaking and he feels just like he did when he spent all those years helpless, just a child yanked around. “Stay with me. C’mon.” 

The wing lowers, and as it does so it catches the light, and the entire wing is made up of feathers that look just like the ones sitting on his mantle, an oil slick in sunshine. Without thinking, Dean brings his hand to his thigh and squeezes it, thumb digging into the meat of it. The touch is meant to be grounding, though he’s not sure who for.

“You know me.” He hums, in a futile effort to comfort him. 

A flip must switch in the stranger’s mind, because he nods suddenly, pulling his weight off of Dean and settling down on his own legs, his wings larger than life, spread out in the room.

“Dean.” He says, and it sounds reverent, his voice rough, the syllable catching in his throat. He doesn’t seem to notice, but fresh scarlet blooms across the bandage. “Dean.”

Dean stays as still as a statue and he can’t recall ever saying his name, though that’s usually how it goes for most anything. Words pour out of his mouth ceaselessly, and he’s always embarrassing himself, dumping his scattered thoughts on poor unsuspecting souls: hey, did you know that Led Zeppelin were tolkien fans? Simply because he’d seen someone had walked past wearing a Tree of Gondor shirt. 

But Dean doesn’t remember saying his own name. His fathers harsh words rattle around inside his mind: kill first, figure out what it is later.

This thought has to wait, though, because the bullet wound seems to have caught up to him, and Wings slumps forward, his entire body going limp in Dean’s arms, his wings thumping down against the table. Dean drags his hands up his back, until his fingers are buried in the downy feathers that molt into his shoulder blades. Dean can’t be certain, but he feels warmer than last night, like he’d been sleeping next to a fire. 

Fuck, fuck fuck.

Dean has no idea how to treat an infection, not really. He can try and prevent one from happening, sure—  he’s done that what feels like hundreds of times. But if the infection takes hold it’s out of his hands and he’s going to be left with a dead winged man on his table, or a possibly alive winged man forced into the spotlight. 

Dean presses his fist to his mouth, and his body feels like a bow-string pulled too taut, threatening to snap. There’s no one who can help, and there’s no one he trusts.

    Dean sits there for nearly thirty minutes, ignoring where his friend’s blood has stained his shirt. The cabin smells like iron, and like feathers, which he hadn’t realized was a distinct scent until it filled up the room. His phone sits in his hands. 

    The texture of the rug on the floor blurs with the sound of the ragged breathing next to him. 

    His phone rings.

    His fingertips burn where they touched his warm, soon to be cold thigh.

    It rings again.

    “Hey.” Dean expects Sam’s voice on the other end, and blinks, confused when he’s greeted with a familiar short drawl that he can’t immediately place.  

    “Missouri says he’s gonna be fine, kid.”

    The voice belongs to Pamela. 

    “Who?” Dean stands up abruptly. Is she outside?

    “Your birdman.”

    Dean doesn’t acknowledge the remark. “Who?”

    Once again, Dean is privy to a conversation happening away from the phone. It sounds like another woman talking, and she sounds annoyed. 

    “Oh. Missouri. The ol’ wife.”

    “Wife?” He runs a quick calculation in his head and then raises his eyebrows. That tracks. 

    “Dean Winchester, are you listening to me.”

    Uh, no? 

“Yeah, yeah okay. I heard you. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

    Whatever she thinks she knows, she better not.

    Something that sounds, in a honey sweet and dainty voice, like ‘Give it here’ comes from the other end and then she’s speaking to him directly. 

    “Dean Winchester?” She asks.

    “Speaking.”

    “Mmkay, good. You better listen up, sweetheart because he’s gonna be fine, but I’m still sending Pam your way. She was a nurse before she retired early, so whatever is wrong with the wound, she should be able to help.”

    For once, Dean is rendered speechless, and utterly, utterly confused. 

    “You still there?”

    “Yeah.” Dean croaks. “Yeah, I’m still here.” He looks over at where Wings is laying. His skin should look sunkissed, but instead beads of sweat form along his tendons, and they’re pulled tight, his body tense even if he’s out cold. “How do you know about him?”

    “Pamela and I… we share some unique gifts. But that shouldn’t concern you right now. You’ve got a fallen angel dying in your living room. She’ll be there in about fifteen minutes, alright?” She doesn’t wait for his response. “Go dig up some of Rufus’ old stash. The good stuff.”

    “Why?” He feels deeply out of the loop. 

    “To calm your nerves. I can feel them from here. Alright now, I’m gonna hang up. Sit tight until she gets there.” 

▵▿▵

Knuckles rap against the door, and Dean nearly jumps out of his skin. From the time it took him to hang up to Pamela showing up at his door it had started to rain again. This time the storm was black, and he had a feeling there would be no sunset, just the dimming of the sky until the charcoal was pitch. He flips the porchlight on as he opens the door. 

Pamela’s black hair is caught under the strap of an army green duffel bag, and the rain drips down her forehead and off her chin, smearing her smokey eye shadow slightly. Standing next to her is a woman Dean hasn’t met yet. She stands tall, and if there is a height difference between her and Pamela, he can’t tell. Her ringlets are just as soaked as her wife's and her dark eyes catch the yellow of the porch light. Inexplicably, they're warm, and Dean lends himself to trusting them. 

“The psychic forgot her umbrella, huh?” Dean asks, stepping aside to let them in. 

Missouri makes  a face. 

“I was gonna say you’re the prettiest thing in these hills but…” Whatever she was going to say, dies as she takes in the sight strewn across the dining table. 

Pamela sets her duffle bag down in one of the seats pulled away from the table and then her arm goes limp as she stands there. Missouri stops by her side, the fingers of her hand trailing her arm until it rests stationary by Pamela’s, their pinkies intertwining. 

“Seeing and believing are truly two different things.” Missouri sounds almost reverent.

“Yeah.” Dean breathes, and, actually, he gets that. “Earlier, on the phone you called him a…” 

“An angel.”

There are a million questions he could ask but he settles on one. “How do you know?”

Pamela tears her gaze away for just a moment, to look over her shoulder at Dean. “That’s a long story for another night. Right now, we have an angel to save. You look terrible, by the way.”

“Mmhm. Dead on your feet. There’s nothing you can do to help right now. We’ll take care of your angel.”

“Have you eaten anything since you found him?” Pam asks. The duffle bag zipper slices through the ambient silence between words, and she rifles through it for a solid minute before she finally produces a pair of tweezers and what looks to be military grade cotton balls with a pleased grin.

His stomach makes a pathetic noise in response, however instead of making a move to eat something, he's standing there staring validly, wondering why these two women who live in the middle of nowhere are completely calm about Mr. Comatose being heaven sent.

It’s fairly obvious from the way their backs are turned to him now, heads leaning in close until they're almost touching so they can whisper in confidence, that he isn’t going to get any answers tonight. 

The exhaustion hits him like a tidal wave, breezing through his muscles, seeping straight into his bones and burrowing in his marrow. Pamela seems to have some left over hospital grade drugs in her nursing kit, and his new friend is completely subdued under the quiet blanket of sleep. 

“Dean.” He tears his gaze away from the middle distance, where it had gotten comfortable to see Pamela watching him, her eyes narrow with concern. “I don’t want to have to take care of you next. Eat something and get some rest. You’ve done enough. We’ll be out of your hair once we’re done.”

Dean shouldn’t trust them. But he does. He doesn’t have any other choice. Shuffling around, he shows Missouri the outlets, where Rufus’s first aid-kit (nearly an end-of-days cold war quantity) stash is shoved into the top three shelves of one of the three storage closets. Missouri promises to lock up and leave the key under the worn-through doormat, and Dean nods sleepily. 

Missouri pats his cheek, and for the briefest of moments, Dean misses home. He misses Sammy. His life had never been simple or easy or even nice, but at least it had been predictable. 

“He’s gonna be okay, sweetheart. I promise.”

▵▿▵

When he wakes, he’s in his bed and sleep-drunk, and there’s an empty space to his side, a starless void that he’d never been able to fill. In his living room lies the moon, and the stars, and the hopeful sliver of himself wonders if even the sun can be found there as well. The cabin is peaceful, a comforting fog of quiet wrapping him up. Sleep drags him under again, and he goes willingly. 

#uinlh #cabin fic #* #mine

[undercoverclover]

No Matter Where

Part 4

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Yuchan x original character

Warnings? None here

Part 1 2 3

*BUZZ BUZZ*

Oh! I forgot to check Yuchan's phone!

I pull it out of my pocket and try to get comfy.

I had one  newly missed call and 1 text. 

I hate snooping through his phone. But it could be him. I unlock it. What if it's his girlfriend or something? Oh god, what if it is and I see something I don't want to?! Ew… ugh I hate life. I have to check the text at least. 

Luckily it's from him:

Yc: Liliana, hey! Practice is impossible to get out of before you head to the club. Would you, I mean. By chance bring it by here? Not having it, is kind of a big deal to my members. I'd really appreciate it and so would they. 

Oh boy…

Um. Oh boy.

Me: I, uh. I can? I think? Just pray I can get away from the girls without them coming with or else it will be the most embarrassing night of my life. 

Me: Sorry for replying late, I was being a human Barbie doll. XP

Now to devise a plan to get them to let me go. If they go with it, it'll end up one of two ways. 1) They're going to push me and I'll be so embarrassed I'll wanna crawl in a hole. Or 2) they will be so speechless that they won't know how to speak. 

*BUZZ BUZZ* 

Yc: Haha okay. So that means you are dressed up. Be careful if you are in heels, the sidewalks are a bit cracked. 

We ended the conversation with where to go so I could meet him and return his phone. Plus, I had finally figured out a plan… I think? I hope. I start messing with the hair tie that was on my wrist, which normally I only do when I'm super anxious. Then I looked down and groaned..

"Ugh!"

"What's your deal?" Anya asks, eyeing me. 

"I hate being dressed up." I say, not lying. Technically. 

"Oh shut it and have fun. At least I gave you one thing. And that's only cuz Anya made me!" Ria said, crossing her arms. 

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." I say, shrugging her off.  Thank god she didn't notice me messing with my wrist, she'd know that wasn't the only thing up then.

"We're here!" Ria calls to us excitedly as the car slows to a stop. 

"I'll pay I guess." I say, hoping they'll let me.

"Okay." They say in unison. 

"Save me a spot in line while I do?" I ask pulling my wallet out of my bag.

"Yeah sure." Anya says and opens the door. 

Once they're out, I turn to the driver. 

"Excuse me. Sorry. Could you take me to this address? I'll pay for this ride when we get there." I say and at first I thought he'd protest, but eventually agreed. 

"Awesome! When I say go. Go fast. Okay?" 

I open the car door and the girls look at me. 

"Guys! I'll be back as soon as I drop his phone off and get mine back! I'll be safe!" I say closing the door and telling the driver to go quickly. 

We took off and I looked out the window to see the girls trying to protest me. 

"Well that worked better than expected!" I said laughing so hard at myself. 

I pulled out his phone from my pocket. 

Me: I'm on my way. I managed to escape them XD 

Yc: Is that a good thing or bad? They are already blowing up your phone. 

Me: Don't answer them! I'm only a few minutes out. I'll call them when I get there. Sorry! 

Yc: Okay, I'll see you soon. :D 

Why am I so giddy? I'm so excited and I shouldn't be! I'm only going to exchange phones for crying out loud!!

Yuchan

I bit my lip and smile as I hit send on the message. 

"Looks like I'm finally getting my phone back hyung." I say, chuckling.

"Oh yeah? Finally? From the one who stole it?" Donghun says giving me hell for the 800th time. 

"Oh knock it off hyung! You know she didn't steal it.  She's not even used it to call or message anyone but me.She didn't mean to." I say, rolling my eyes at the eldest of our group. 

 I really don't think Liliana would do that. She didn't seem like that type. She probably didn't even know who or what I was. 

"Earth to Chan!" Bk says, smacking me lightly on the shoulder. 

"Oh huh?" I shook my head and stared at him. 

"You good?" He asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I reply.

"Still thinking about that girl you can't get your mind off of?" He says smirking, loud enough for the others to hear. 

"Ah! Hyung! I don't think of her like that!" I could feel my ears getting red.

 That's the last time I try to talk to Byeongkwan about a girl. It's totally not what I need tonight. Not while she's on her way over here. Even if it is to bring me back my phone.

"You'll be just fine Chan. She was cute. Don't be dumb." Donghun says as he comes up and ruffles my sweaty hair. 

"Ugh, why did I do that?" He says as he stares at his now -not his sweat- sweaty hand. Sehyoon and I started laughing so hard at that point. My nerves were exploding, I needed the outlet.

"Okay back to work you 4. Come on, let's go." Jun called to us to get off the floor. 

"I'd like to finish this before 2 a.m. AGAIN." He says trying to be dramatic but being overly so. 

"Oh calm yourself, Umbridge." Donghun says sarcastically making all of us burst out laughing even more as we got up to finish our late night practice. 

Liliana

The driver pulled up outside of a dance studio. I paid him, plus I gave him an extra tip since he was acting as my getaway driver then I thanked him and got out. He drove away as I stood there looking at the place. It was late, about 10:30 p.m. I'd hoped he was still here.

I grabbed his phone out of my bag and called him. It rang and there was no answer. I did again. Same thing.

"Great, he's probably already gone." I say to myself. You always ruin everything Liliana. 

"No. Now stop Lili. You won't start this." 

Maybe he is still here and practicing. Good lord I look dumb too. Just shut up and go get your phone back, smart one. 

I head to the door and pray it opens. Once I put my hand on the door handle and pull? It opens! 

YES! Thank god! Oh shi- it opened. Now I have to go in. 

Okay, I got this. I took a step in and looked around. It was dark. I could see but it wasn't well. 

The walls were decorated with little drawings. I'd never seen so many. I walk up to them to look at them and get caught up in the designs of the faces and water photoshoots. It was all so beautiful!

*Buzz Buzz Buzz*

I almost screamed. The phone buzzing scared me so bad.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hello. Wait are you here? I thought I heard someone when the music paused." He said.

"I. Um. I am." I reply nervously.

"Oh! Okay, one second." I heard him answer from inside the room I was closest to.

Then the door opened and he stepped out. I immediately realized I hated what Ria put me in. He was wearing sweatpants, a sleeveless shirt that was way too big for him and Nike sneakers. He looked comfy and amazing. I was uncomfortable. Lord, pray for me.

He saw me, smiled that amazing smile and walked over to see what I was looking at.

"Hey!" He said enthusiastically.

"Hey. You realize it's almost 11 p.m. what are you still doing at, what was it, practice? This late?" I couldn't help but smile at him. My heart skipped and the amount of butterflies in my stomach were unreal.

He laughed.

"We, uh, we practice pretty late usually. Actually our schedule is all over the place. Sometimes it can be 2 a.m. before we're done."

"Oh wow! That's insane! I couldn't imagine that." I say, genuinely shocked.

"Yeah it gets hectic occasionally." He smiles. Ugh, be still my heart.

"Oh, before I forget. Here's your phone Yuchan." I say and hand it to him.

"Oh thanks! Follow me," he says walking towards the door he just came from.

"I'll have to go grab yours from the top of my practice bag. I don't know why I didn't bring it with me." He said shaking his head and laughing under his breath.

He opened the door and I followed him in. It was so much brighter in here and there were others. The guys from the coffee shop, too.

Man the girls would flip right now.

"Wow!" I said a little too loud, as I looked around. Yuchan stops and looks around at me. The others too.

"Sorry! Sorry. I've never been in a studio before." I say nervously twisting the hair tie on my wrist.

"Ooohhh, that's okay. Take a look around while I grab the phone." Yuchan smiled.

"Thanks! I may!" I say as I start walking around just looking at the set up of the place.

The mirrors are so huge! This is so cool. Then my eyes land on myself.

Ugh, god I look awful. I think and turn towards the radio equipment.

"I don't think so." Yuchan said coming up behind me and handing me my phone. I look up and he's smiling.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?" I said hiding my face in my hands.

"You did." He smiled brighter and I blushed.

My face was probably beet red now, like it got when I was embarrassed.

"Oh god." I say under my hands on my face.

"Don't be embarrassed it's okay, I don't think you look awful. I think quite the opposite actually." Yup, now I'm definitely blushing.

"Thank you, Yuchan. But even with my shoe choice?" I say holding my foot out a bit so he can clearly see my black and white high-top converse.

He laughed his high pitched laugh and his eyes smiled too.

I really love his laugh. God I hope I actually thought that one.

"Yes, even your converse look good with your dress."

"Why thank you sir." I laugh and curtsey like Alice to the Red Queen.

*Buzz Buzz Buzz*

"Ugh, I think I liked your phone better. It was quieter." I say looking down at Anya's number, "I'm probably in trouble." I say and grimace slightly.

I answer and hold the phone away from my ear since I know what's coming.

"LILIANA MAY! YOU ARE IN FOR IT WHEN I GET THERE!" I stare at the phone bewildered. I could hear Ria just as loud in the background. Yelling at me. Chan looked just as shocked as I did. He motioned that he was going to go and talk to the other guys while I talked to her, or attempted. What did she mean? And then I realized I forgot to turn off my location.

They got worried. I should have messaged them as soon as I got here.

"Anya, I'm fine. Stay at the club. I'll be back soon." I say trying to get the words between the angry rambling.

"We're already on our way you ass!" Yup. I am in trouble.

"Okay we'll just breathe. I'm fine. I'll see you when you get here I guess." I hung up before I could get yelled at more.

I play with my hair tie and walk up to the 5 men towering over me.

They're so much taller up close…

"Liliana, this is Jun, Sehyoon, Byeongkwan and Donghun. Guys this is my phone thief, Liliana." He said smiling and retaining a laugh.

"Hey! Th- tha- that's not fair! It was completely an accident! Your head knocking into mine mixed up my brain cells!" I was appalled he introduced me like that! But I couldn't help laughing when he did. Breathe Lili.

"Anyway! I'm sorry to interrupt your guys practice. I'm just going to go wait outside. My friends are apparently on their way to get me." I say looking down and just trying to avoid eye contact.

"What why?" Someone pipes up. I don't look up though. I tried to think of a better reason then I ditched my friends.

"I, uh. Um… I kinda sorta dropped them off and told the driver to go before they could realize what was happening."

That got a laugh out of them. The one Ria liked, Byeongkwan, was laughing and clapping his hands. Anya's eye catcher, Donghun, was covering his mouth silently laughing. The other 2 I hadn't fully paid attention to in the coffee shop that day, Jun and Sehyoon, were holding their stomachs almost rolling on the floor. Overall, Yuchan was just grinning. He knew the plan, even though the outcome was different.

Donghun finally caught some air, "So you mean to say that you ditched your friends to come meet Chan?" He still had a half smirk on his face. He was teasing me!

But did I? I mean I was returning his phone. I guess I kind of did. Shoot me...

"Well, I-, just believe me when they get here you'll know why I did it that way." I said my face was unbelievably red now. I could feel it.

"Now look hyung, you're making her blush, leave her be. She did bring the phone back like Yuchan said." Jun said, smiling but serious. They all smiled and Sehyoon just shook his head.

He must be the quiet one. I knew someone like that too.

"Well, as much as you want to avoid the confrontation that was coming from that phone earlier, in front of us, you're not going outside alone at 11 o'clock at night." Yuchan said with a very serious look on his face.

I don't know whether to blush or be agitated that he's trying to tell me what I can and can't do.

"It may be 11 but I can handle myself. And you heard Anya on the phone, maybe Ria too. It's not something I'd like anyone to see." I said firmly.

"No." Yuchan said, crossing his arms.

"Yuch-" I started.

"Chan's right Liliana. You're not going out by yourself. You can sit and wait. Practice isn't over so you can watch us." Sehyoon said, shocking me into shutting up.

I just nodded.

"Thank you hyung." Yuchan said, nodding at him. Sehyoon nodded back.

"Okay on that note, let's finish practicing." Byeongkwan said as he got up off the floor.

Yuchan walked me over to a seat and told me I could sit there. I took my jacket off and sat down, then proceeded to cover up my legs with it.

"What is it?" I ask, shyly. He was standing there, kind of just staring at me. I looked down to make sure I didn't have anything on me. Nothing that I saw…

"Nothing. Nothing, you just look pretty in it, is all." He said and added, "Okay I've gotta get to work. Don't judge me too harshly." He smiled and went to get in the center of the studio.

So they're a dance group? They must be pretty good to be working here. I wonder what music they dance to. Just then the music starts and it sounds so amazing!

~Turn me up so they can hear this. Louder!~

I was intrigued. The way they began to move! So in sync. The way they moved was so mesmerizing, I couldn't look away.

The song ended and I'm not going to lie. I was sad.

I was speechless.

"I think we broke her." Byeongkwan laughed, looking over and seeing my astonished expression.

"What? No! I mean yes! That was amazing! I've never seen anything like that before." Okay, don't get over excited Lili.

Then I heard my friends…. Oh fudge.

#a.c.e #a.c.e chan #acewriters #kang yuchan

[jihyuncompass]

In A Dream

Jihyun Week 2020 Day Five

Dream

Jihyun Kim x MC

Word Count: 4.1k

Summary: In a delirium, V dreams about what he did, and what he wants. 

The elixir did bad things to his head. V knew that. From the moment that bottle touched his lips he knew that there was nothing good that could come from it. What he couldn’t have expected was how immediate the effects of the drug were on his body. 

Within seconds he had been in agony, dizzy and disoriented. His limbs felt like lead and every moment caused aching pain to spread throughout his whole body. His heart beat so hard he thought it was going to beat right out of his chest and shatter his ribs. The pain continued for a while, until for a moment he found less pain. 

This must have been the temporary paradise that Saeran, no Ray. Had spoken of. Although his body still felt heavy he also felt calm, almost blissful. He laid on the floor of his prison and felt at ease. The calmest he’d been in the past six months. 

Too quickly though, he came crashing back down. Then the pain was back, his head no longer felt light but now throbbed painfully. Every twitch every movement felt like lava in his blood vessels and caused agonizing pain in his muscles. 

His brain felt fuzzy and confused when he was laying down on the floor of the basement of Magenta. In the few moments of clarity he could grasp he would try to think of how to get out, how to help them, and how to possibly even save Rika. But as quickly as those thoughts surfaced they would get muddled up in his confused state. 

The only relief he could get, was in the moments where he was able to fall asleep.  Even if only for a few moments just being able to sleep made it feel so much less painful. 

He dreamt often when he was asleep,the dreams were often vivid. Only the slighted bits of unreality reminding him that he was dreaming. 

In one of his dreams he was at the cathedral. The same one he’d go to with Rika regularly, after he’d decided to convert for her. Religion had never held a huge part of his heart, but seeing Rika’s love and her dedication to her faith? He wanted that too, and he wanted to make her happy. 

He walked out of the altar and into the large courtyard garden. The flowers were expertly taken care of. Each one standing tall and bright. The sweet smells of the flowers surrounded V. 

Wandering through the garden he came across the sight of a child sitting on the ground. Admiring the flowers, his bright red hair a stark contrast to the boy’s pale skin. His hands were close to his chest, like he was scared of touching anything. 

“Saeran?” V asked, stepping towards the boy. Kneeling down to be at eye level with him. Saeran was staring at the flowers, seemingly in complete awe. “These ones are beautiful, they take really good care of their flowers here.” V continued. Saeran wasn’t often one for words, but V still kept talking. “Maybe if it’s alright I know of this beautiful botanical garden not too far from here. Maybe I could take you there?” V looked at the flowers again, taking in the individual flowers. He waited for Saeran to speak but when he didn’t get an answer he looked back to the boy’s face. 

Except it wasn’t Saeran anymore, at least not the one he knew. Instead of the small redhead he was taller, though just as skinny. His once red hair now bleached a silver color with pink at the tips. He sat in the same position as before though now his hands were clenched together. 

“Liar.” Saeran said. Or was it Ray? He wasn’t sure. He stared at the boy, eyes wide. 

“Saeran-”

“Liar! Traitor!” Saeran screamed. 

V’s hands shook as he tried to reach out to the boy. “Saeran, I don’t understand. What are you talking about?” 

“Liar!” Saeran screamed. “You abandoned me!” V shook his head trying more desperately to reach out to Saeran only for the boy to push him away. The realization hit V making him stutter. 

“She wouldn't let me see you, please Saeran I would never abandon you. Rika told me you were at a school, that you were safe and happy I-” 

“Stop lying!” Saeran screamed louder. “Stop lying to me!” Saeran stood up and ran, going into the cathedral. V quickly stood up and followed him calling after him. 

V threw open the door to the Cathedral to instead be back in Saeran’s computer room at Magenta. As he looked down to himself he realized he was wearing the robes he had worn when he snuck in. At the end of the room was Saeran, holding desperately to you. 

“Saeran please let them go!” V shouted. “Please, let’s just talk about this.” 

“What if I don’t want to go?” You said. V stuttered for a moment, realizing that Saeran wasn’t holding you captive, in fact it seemed much closer than that. Much more intimate. 

V stared at you trying to find words, after a moment he snapped out of his haze and reached out his hand. “Please, this place is dangerous.” V begged. “Come with me.” You stared him down but only stayed close to Saeran, taking a bottle of elixir into your hand. 

“Dangerous? You must be mistaken, this place is paradise.” You said taking a swig of the elixir. His heart stopped at the sight. He wanted to run forward, get that bottle away from you, try and take you and run. Yet he felt stuck in his place. Unable to move an inch. 

“And there’s no room for traitors in our paradise.” A new voice said, from behind you and Saeran there was Rika. She stood beside you looking at V with a look of utter disdain. Rika wrapped her arms around you pressing her front into your back. 

V wanted to say something but he felt himself being pulled back. He looked back and saw two hooded figures pulling him back. Holding tightly to his arms, he looked back to you with begging eyes. 

“Please.” He said one more time, but to no avail. The last thing he saw was Rika and Saeran guiding you away, while he continued to beg. He screamed, begging and pleading for them to come back. Apologizing endlessly to no one. 

V woke up shaking. He was breathing heavily as he coughed. His chest spasming violently. His body ached from how badly he was coughing. He stared blankly into the darkness of the cell. He heard the sound of walking, seeing Saeran above him. 

He couldn��t hear what Saeran said he could only hear what he had asked. “Please, let me see them.” 

The next time he fell into a dream he wasn’t at Magenta anymore. He still wasn’t sure where he was. He just knew he was laying on a bed, and in a safe place with you and Luciel. He’d try to keep himself awake but with the effects of elixir still in his body he couldn’t keep himself awake. 

In this dream he was sitting on a balcony looking over the city. The sky was dark and the moon high in the sky. The lights of the city lighting up his surroundings.  

“V.” A voice said. V blinked, he tore his eyes away from the city skyline and to his friend next to him. Jumin had a glass of wine in his hand, staring at his friend. V looked down at the table between them, a glass of red wine on Jihyun’s side. 

“I’m sorry Jumin. I think I spaced out for a moment.” His friend was giving him a strange look but moved on quickly looking back at the skyline. “What were you saying?” 

“I was just telling you that I think you should consider the surgery again.” Jumin said. V sighed. Even in his dreams Jumin was trying to convince him to have his eyes operated on. V took a sip of his wine and looked away from Jumin. 

“I don’t want that surgery, Jumin.” V said. 

“Why not?” He said. 

V sighed. He didn’t like talking about his reasons but he also couldn’t brush Jumin off. “I don’t deserve to have my eyes fixed, this is my punishment and I should take it.” He hadn’t meant to say so much, almost regretting what he said instantly. 

“Don’t you find it ironic?” Jumin said. V turned to him. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Your mother was a deaf musician, and now you’re becoming a blind photographer.” Jumin said, taking a longer drink from his glass. Nearly draining it. “I only find it ironic.” He said. V looked away. 

In real life, Jumin never mentioned V’s mother. Jumin is a reasonable man and he knows that V’s mother is a sensitive subject. In a dream though it seemed Jumin wasn’t so careful about the subject. 

“I’m not refusing because of my mother.” V said. 

“Then what’s the real reason?” Jumin asked him. The more Jumin asked the more uncomfortable V felt. He didn’t want to answer these questions.

V thought for a long time, he swirled his wine around his glass. He hated thinking on this question, he’d agonized over this for hours already, the last thing he needed was to think about it more. 

“I should have been able to save her. I should have been able to help her, but I couldn’t. I failed her, I couldn’t protect her.” V said finally after a while. Jumin was silent, then said only a single word. 

“Who?” V snapped his head up to look at his friend. 

“What do you mean ‘who’?”

“Are you talking about Rika? Or are you talking about your mother?” V stared for a while. His mind suddenly felt very unclear. Who had he been talking about? Had he actually been talking about his mother or? 

“I don’t understand.” V said. “I don’t know what you mean.” 

Jumin spoke again, though V was hardly listening. “Your mother died protecting you did she not? You were trapped in that burning house, she got you out. Only to be consumed by the fire herself. You were her only son, so why couldn’t you have made sure she got out too?” V shook his head. 

“I- You don’t mean that.” V held his head in his hands. 

“Don’t I?” Jumin said, wait-

The voice was different this time. V looked up, sitting next to him now was himself. Only when he was a teenager. Wearing his old school uniform, holding a can of soda instead of a glass of wine. 

“We never even told her we loved her.” Jihyun said. “She died thinking we hated her.” V shook his head more, he wanted to throw his wine glass. He wanted to cry, scream, anything to make this end. “And maybe we did. Her and her artist’s delusions.” Jihyun crushed the empty soda can in his hand. 

“That’s not true.” V said. “I don’t hate her.” He cried to himself. His younger self was staring at him. “We couldn’t save mother. No matter how hard we could have tried.” V wiped his eyes, his fingers lingering on his eyelids. “But maybe, it’s not too late to save her.” Rika’s face came to him. 

Maybe, if he went back. He could actually save someone. 

That time he’d woken up to a stranger leaning over him. V didn’t recognize the person but he did recognize you next to them. You were looking into V’s eyes when he opened them. Although he was still delirious he stared at them, he kept his eyes on them. A single piece of clarity through the pain. 

He wasn’t sure when the dream began this time. The first thing he became aware of was the sound of the wind rustling through the trees. When he could see clearly the first thing he saw was the open window. The green trees that swayed outside. Bringing in a breeze to the room V was standing in. 

Slowly he became aware of the other things in the room. He noticed the furnishings, and then where he was standing against the wall. A paintbrush in one hand. A paint palette balanced on the table next to him, and a large canvas on an easel. The painting only half finished. In his dream he couldn’t make out the details of what he was seeing on the canvas. Looking at the brush in his hand he wondered what and why he was painting. 

Standing in front of the canvas he stared at it, even if he couldn’t make out the details he knew that the painting was something of his own creation. He hadn’t painted since he was in highschool, why would he be painting now? 

About the set down the brush he heard a knock coming from behind him. Turning around he saw the door open just a peek. 

“You’re still painting? You’ve been working for hours.” You said, walking into the room. you looked over the painting, your eyes lighting up. “Oh that’s beautiful.” You said. V stared at you, struggling to come up with words to say. His mind was still trying to figure out where he was, and what exactly was happening in this dream. 

“Thank you?” V said looking back to the painting. You walked to stand next to him. He glanced at you, then back at the painting. V set the paintbrush down carefully, looking closer at his hands he noticed the paint smeared on them. A variety of rainbow colors dried to his skin. 

“Gosh your hands are filthy.” You laughed. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up a little.” You slipped her hand in his slowly guiding him towards the door and away from his mysterious painting, and the open window. 

You led him down a hallway, they seemed to be in a house of some kind, but it wasn’t his home on the cliffside, or any other home he’d ever remembered being in. This place was entirely new to him. 

You opened a door at the end of the hallway into a bathroom, You turned the knobs to turn the water on. Taking his hands they brought them under the faucet, rinsing them. You squirted some soap onto his hands. Setting the bottle of soap aside you rubbed their hands against his. Carefully scrubbing the paint off of his hands and his fingernails. 

V glanced over at you, carefully washing his hands for him. He didn’t even know how to begin to process this, you were standing so close to him, acting so kindly to him. He thought he would have wanted to shrink away from your touch but he didn’t. He actually found himself reveling in it. Butterflies flew in his stomach every time you rubbed your hands against his. 

When you turned the water off he was almost sad. you helped him wipe his hands dry on a towel and turned back to look at him. After a moment you started laughing. 

“You have paint in your hair!” You said, reaching up to run your hands through his mint hair. “How did you even do something like that silly man?” V stared at you blankly. The way you were smiling at him, the softness in your expression was making his chest tighten with emotion. 

“I’m sorry I’m not sure how I did that.” V said finally. You just laughed and put your hands on his shoulder. 

“Aw, it’s alright. We’ll take care of it later, but you’re probably hungry right? You’ve been in your studio forever.” V didn’t even need to answer while you ushered him out of the bathroom and down the hallway again, into the kitchen. 

You stood at a counter pulling out two bowls. You began to pile food into them. V watched you, his mind still reeling. He found himself walking closer to you wanting to be near you. You glanced over at you finding himself only inches away from YOUR face. 

His hands shook as he held his arm out to you. You stepped forward and looked him in the eyes. V leaned forward closing his eyes slowly closing the gap between you. 

“Jihyun-” You whispered. He stopped and opened his eyes. “V.” You said. V was staring at your eyes looking into his. 

“Yes?” V asked you. 

“V.” You said again, their face starting to contort into a look of fear. “V, V, V! Jihyun!” 

V’s eyes shot open. His vision was blurred, he blinked trying to clear up his vision. Around him he heard distant voices, it almost sounded like he was underwater, everything sounded distant and distorted. He wasn’t in the safehouse anymore, was he in a car? Glancing around he realized he’s in Luciel’s car, but why? 

“V? V, look at me.” He heard, he turned his head and saw You above him looking at him. He kept his eyes on you, slowly he started to realize that he was in pain. He tried to look down to see what was hurting but you started speaking to him again. “V just keep on your eyes on me, just focus on me.” You brushed some of their hair out of their eyes. His eyes focused on a spot on your hand. Was that blood on your hand? Why was there blood? 

“We’re almost there!” V heard from the front seat of the car. Was that Luciel’s voice? V tried to look but stopped himself when he heard your voice again. 

“You’re going to be okay V, just hold on a little longer.” You said. “We’re almost at the hospital. You’re going to be just fine.” Feeling your hand on his chest V took what little energy he had was to reach his hand up, resting it on top of yours. You gently clutched his hand and gave him a tight smile. 

V’s eyes felt heavy, he wanted to close his eyes again he wanted to sleep again. Maybe he’d have another warm dream like the one before. While his eyes started to flutter closed You called to him again. His eyes slowly opened once again and looked back to you. 

“Just keep your eyes open V, just stay awake a little longer.” V stared at you, he wanted to sleep desperately but looking at your eyes he couldn’t. 

He felt confused and disoriented but looking at you, he wanted to stay awake just a little while longer. 

So much of it was a blur, one minute he was in the car and then he was dragged away from the car and carried into a loud and bright hospital setting. The brightness hurt his eyes, his eyes burned and as much as he tried to keep himself awake his eyes kept closing. 

The last thing he remembers is being brought into a room and hands quickly removing his shirt and holding a mask to his face. Within moments his eyes closed again and drifted away again. 

“Jihyun.” A voice said. V opened his eyes up and looked around, He must be dreaming again. 

Sitting up Jihyun was in his childhood home, more specifically he was in the annex of his childhood home. Where his mother lived. 

He looked for the source of the voice, his search interrupted by the sound of violin music floating through the air. As he stood he glanced around to try and find the source of it, opening one of the doors to listen to where the music was coming from. 

The music slowly grew louder in his ears, the notes being played becoming stronger, crisper. He stopped in front of a door, the one he knew led to his mother’s room. Waiting a moment he pushed the door open and walked inside. 

His mother stood in the center of the room, her violin against her chin, a bow held carefully in her small hands. Her eyes were trained on the music stand in front of her, eyes skimming the page to read the upcoming notes. The music she played was beautiful, unlike anything he had ever heard outside of the videos he’d seen of her. 

V stood in the doorway until she finished the song, ending on one long beautiful note. She removed the bow from the strings and took the violin away from her chin. Turning to the doorway to smile at him. 

“Jihyun.” She said, “How long have you been standing there?” He listened to her in shock, he’d never heard her voice like that. Clear and natural, not the struggling muddled voice he knew as a teenager. 

“Not long.” V said. He walked further into the room and closer to his mother. She turned around and set the violin down back into its case. She turned back towards him with a smile. 

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you Jihyun. You’re so big now.” V watched her and took a shaky breath. He’d seen his mother in his dreams but the sight of her made him emotional. “How are you Jihyun? You don’t look well.” She sat down on her bed, patting the spot next to her. He waited for a moment but did sit down next to her. 

“I’m scared, if I’m being honest.” V said. 

“And why’s that?” She asked. 

“I feel so lost.” V said. His mother put a hand on his knee and looked at him with kind eyes.

“That’s okay Jihyun.” She said. 

“How?” 

“It’s normal to feel lost, Jihyun. We all feel lost at times.” She said. He looked at her, seeing her he felt a wave of thoughts, of feelings, of things he wished he could have said. 

“I miss you.” He said. “I should have been kinder to you, I should have listened to you I should have-” 

His mother put her hands on her shoulders. “Jihyun.” He forced himself to look at her, despite his emotional state. “That’s in the past now, you can’t keep holding onto all of this hurt forever.” He sniffled and wiped at his eyes. 

“I love you, I’m sorry I never told you.” V said. His mother gave him the kindest of smiles. She reached towards him and didn't move, letting her pull him into an embrace. The feeling of being embraced brought tears to his eyes, he held onto her. 

“I love you too Jihyun. You were the greatest gift I was ever given.” He held her as tight as he could. Only wishing that this moment wasn’t a dream. However, even if it was a dream he held onto the moment. “Please, take care of yourself. It breaks my heart to know you don’t treasure yourself.” 

She moved away a bit, but V didn’t let her go. He wanted to hold her as long as possible. “I will. I promise.” He pressed his face into her shoulder, feeling the dream start to pull away. He tried to hold onto the dream for a little bit longer. The feeling of his mother’s embrace dissipated and left him in the dark again. 

For a while V was in the dark, he felt like he was floating somewhere in between waking and sleep. He couldn’t open his eyes but he thought he could hear Jumin’s voice. He tried to listen but couldn’t figure out exactly what he was saying. 

Other times there was just silence, a beeping of a monitor. At one point he thought he felt someone holding his hand. That small touch keeping him present and at least a little conscious. 

His mother’s voice stayed in his head, asking him to care for himself, and then he remembered the feeling of being near You in that one dream. He remembered the feeling of holding a paintbrush in his hand, of feeling you close by. 

That dream was so good, so comfortable. Being in that darkness he wondered, he thought and fantasized about what he wanted, who he wanted to become. The life he wanted to lead once he woke up. 

He wanted to learn about himself, he wanted to learn to treasure himself, and he wanted to learn to love again, and he wanted that love to be shared with you. 

V’s eyes opened slowly, taking a deep breath he looked around his surroundings. A hospital room, a bright window letting in some light. 

“V! You’re awake!” A voice said. He turned his head slowly to see you smiling at him. And he smiled back.

#jihyunweek2020 #mystic messenger #mysme #jihyun kim #kim jihyun #mysme jihyun #mysme v #v x mc #jihyun x mc

[humouragainstreality]

I was hospitalized

tw: hospital, self harm, blood, suicide

two days ago i had a nervous breakdown. i've never seen myself like that. after about two years of not seriously injuring myself i completely lost my mind. i wrote a letter to my mom, in case i'd die. that was maybe not the goal, but i thought of it. i thought i couldn't hold back. I layed on my floor and screamed and cried and prayed because i thought the stress would never go away and i couldn't do this any longer. i injured myself. a friend called me and tried to talk to me. i didn't tell anyone what i was doing, but he knew i was completely out of character and he later told me that he got really scared when i got silent and began to sound rather calm. when i realized how much blood i have lost, i told him i need to call the ambulance. i didn't mention i harmed myself. i soon found that i've never harmed myself like this. it was a terrible scene, there was blood dripping all over my body, down my legs to the floor. when the ambilance arrived, i was crying shaking. i regret calling them immediately because i just wanted to be on my own. i guess it was still the better thing to do. i was taken to the hospital where a doctor cleaned the wounds and gave me bandages. i can't quite believe i actually managed to play it down so they let me go right after. i'm a bit shocked by my acting and lying skills there but i was glad i could go home. the friend i called sat in the train at that point, in the middle of the night. he lives two hours away but the doctors said i should have someone over for the night. when i came back home i was dizzy and i felt super unreal. i felt very neutral somehow and i couldn't think what happened was real. i was back home and everything seemed normal, when just twp hours ago i was living through the hell on earth in just the same rooms.

i'm still not okay. just minor stress makes me get anxiety attacks or changes my mood so rapidly that i can't get myself out of the mindset i get thrown into. i hope i can manage. i hope i'll be stable again. i feel like this hell never ends for me.

#suicidal #hospital #borderline personality disorder #actuallydepressed #actuallyborderline #actuallytraumatized #selfharm #hospizalized #rock bottom #scared of myself #im going insane #help

[jaehyunspeachparty]

The first time you needed him (a)

It was a phone call that changed everything. At that moment, a world collapsed for you. You were just standing in a shop because you were looking for a nice dress. But now you can’t see anything anymore. You run out of the shop immediately and look for the nearest public toilet. At the sink, you support yourself and look in the mirror. Your breath was heavy and everything was blurry. When you hear the words on the phone again, you throw up over to the sink. That couldn’t be true, that was all unreal. You called his number, but he doesn’t pick up his phone. Actually, you could have let it be, but somehow you just wanted to go to him, like you only needed him. No other person. You really couldn’t explain it why. Somehow you can hardly remember anything anymore. You don’t remember what you thought, what you feel. It was like someone else was taking control of you. You did not know why, but you started to run. Actually, you thought that you were running without a goal, but then the area seemed familiar to you. It was almost like a voice in you, which would lead you to him. You enter the code for the front door. He once gave it to you and you thought you forgot it. But at that moment you knew it, for some reason. The ride on the elevator lasted forever. You could barely see in your reflection. That was not you. That was someone else who controls you. It was like watching yourself, but someone else was in your body. The passage to the apartment was difficult for you. The power left your body and you lean against the wall with your hand. Your vision is getting darker and you could just ring the doorbell. While you were waiting, you could hardly hold yourself anymore. Your knees softened and gave way. "Y/N?" The door opened and you see how Jungwoo stood in front of you. His voice was so soft and you feel how he supports you. "I have to go to Jaehyun." It was the last thing you remembered before collapsing on the floor.

When you wake up you can see how it got dark. Apparently, you fainted for a few hours. Your vision slowly became clearer and you begin to move. You lay in a bed and the room seemed familiar to you. You turn aside and you see Jaehyun lying next to you reading a book. "Hey, you are awake." He smiled and put the book on the bedstead behind him. You could not speak somehow, you were too confused. First, you try to sit up, but Jaehyun put his hand on your arm. "Heyyy slowly. I'll make you some tea." He got out of bed and left the room for a moment. You lie in bed and try to collect everything, but you feel weak and powerless. After a few minutes, Jaehyun came in with two cups and put them down by the bed. He sat down next to you and leaned in your direction. "Are you all right?" Jaehyun seemed really worried and he is watching your condition. You sit up and run through your hair. You feel like your eyes were swollen and you were very hot. "I ... I’m ... why am I here?" You only have a few pieces of the puzzle in your head and you try to put everything together. "You came here and collapsed in front of Jungwoo's feet. Poor guy, he's still in shock." Jaehyun smiled slightly but then became serious again when he looked at you. You feel so weak, but you weren't sick. "Do you know what happened? Did someone hurt you?" Jaehyun was really worried and he was watching you closely. But you still weren't yourself. You came to reality very slowly, but it was still as if someone else was driving you. You put the tea aside and stare out the window. Jungwoo's bed was empty and you could see the moon who shone in the room. "You don't have to talk about it. But I'll be here when you're ready." You hear Jaehyun's soft voice and suddenly you turn to him and sit on his lap. You start kissing his neck, grind in the middle, and put your hands under his shirt. "Don't," he whispered. Of course, he wants you, but he didn't want to take advantage of you in such a situation. He knew it was the wrong time to do it. But you ignore him and keep going, but when you grab him in the crotch and start rubbing him there, he holds you tightly on your wrist and stops your movement. "Stop Y/N." He looked at you calmly but also seriously. He was starting to get really worried, he had never seen you so destroyed. "Okay, then you don't want me." You push him away and get out of bed, but with shaky legs. Jaehyun jumped up quickly and stopped you by holding you by the wrist. "Let go of me," you scream, and started crying. But Jaehyun didn't, he didn't want to let you go in this state. "No, I won't let you go." And when you look into Jaehyun's face, you remembered it. The calling. The news. Everything was true. At this moment you start screaming and collapse on the floor. Jaehyun caught you in time and slumped to the ground with you. You cry in his shoulder and don't even notice that the door opened. "Is everything ok?" Doyoung and Johnny had heard your screams and were also worried. "Yes, I have everything under control." Jaehyun looked at the two while he was holding you tightly. You were huddled together on the floor and your head was on his chest. "I can also ..." Doyoung took a step into the room. "I have everything under control," hissed Jaehyun and Johnny pulled Doyoung out of the room and closed the door. You hadn't noticed all of this, just how Jaehyun lifted you up and brought you back to bed. He lay down with you and held you tight in his arms. You cry for a while, you weren't able to say anything with the sobbing breath. Jaehyun stroked your hair and back and hummed something until you calm down. And at some point, your breath normalized again and you came to yourself more and more. "Jaehyun?" You look up at him and he reacted immediately. He took your hand and stroked it. "Thank you," you say, sitting up so far that you could see him better, but his hand was still on your body. His touches were so soothing that you didn't want to be away from him for a second. "No problem." He smiled softly and his dimples appeared. You put your head back on his chest and look at your hands. "Can I stay here?" It was already dark, and you didn't want to be alone now. "I wouldn't have let you go anyway." He kissed your head and continued to stroke your hand. "Are you hungry? Should we order something?" He took his phone and opened an app to search for a suitable restaurant. "No, I'm not so hungry." Your stomach felt empty, but at the same time, you were so sick. "I'm still ordering a little more." He picked out a few things and made the order. As he completes it, you look at the clock. It was relatively late, and you have a bad conscience that you have occupied Jaehyun for so long. You haven't been nice to him the last few days, ignored him all the time because you didn't know what you wanted yourself. Jaehyun got up and turned on one of his scented candles. As he leaned over, it just came over you. "Today I wanted to enjoy my day off, go shopping, drink good coffee ... think about us." You look down at your hands and were unsure how to say the next words. Jaehyun looked at you in surprise and came back to you in bed to sit opposite you. "I got a call. It was the hospital near Paris. My father loved to ride motorcycles for his life. He had an accident yesterday. He fell and got under a truck. They operated on him all night. But it helped nothing, he died during the operation." At this moment you burst into tears again. Jaehyun was frozen. He had met your father and so he had never expected it. He knew the relationship with your father was very close and now he could understand all of it. He hugged you and stroked you until you came to rest again. "I'm sorry, I don't really want to be a burden for you. I don't know why I ran to you." You wipe away your tears to slowly normalize yourself. "No, I'm glad you came to me." He strokes your hair to the side, and he pushes you closer to his body. "I want to be there for you, Y/N. I'm always there for you." Since your head was on his chest, you can hear his heartbeat. It was so loud and so fast. "He liked you." You stare into the void and keep listening to his heartbeat. "What?" Jaehyun could not summarize the context and look down at you. But you sit up and look at him. "A wonderful guy. I like him. That was what he said to me about you." Jaehyun smiled for a short moment, but then he became aware of the situation he got serious again. "I'm sorry, I ..." Jaehyun felt guilty that he felt brief joy while you were suffering. "No, it's okay." You look at Jaehyun and slowly approach him. Your lips touched his and a short kiss brought you back together.

About us masterlist

daddy jaehyun masterlist

#jaehyun #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun blurbs #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun angst #jaehyun jung #nct #nct angst #nct 127 #nct 127 angst #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct scenarios #nct 127 scenarios

[karliahs]

(content warnings: unreality, vertigo, somewhat graphic injury description, spider imagery)

Jon wakes up, and the lurch in his gut tells him he is falling or about to fall, even as he can feel the same firm mattress beneath him. He digs his fingers into its surface, comforted slightly by the creak of the old springs. He opens his eyes and - ah. The mattress is fine. The world around it is...not.

Jon rubs sleep from his eyes and sits up cautiously. Fall, falling soon, his nerves cry out. The floor...the floor beneath the bed is not so much a surface as an intricate lattice of vaguely wood-coloured ribbons. He tries to follow their paths with his eyes, and loses the trail over and over, frowning. 

A wave of guilt rises to meet the vertigo, and Jon looks to the other side of the bed - which he should have done first, should always do first. Who he’s marooned with should always come before trying to understand why. But he isn’t with anyone now; the bed is empty save for him, though he imagines he can make out something of Martin’s outline in the discarded duvet. 

He returns his gaze to the twisting ribbons. In places they look thin, razor-thin. In others, they twist together almost like branches of a tree. There is a particularly solid-looking nest of them tracing their way out of the half-open bedroom door.

“Martin?” Jon calls. His voice echoes strangely back to him, like the sound is bouncing off of things that are only partially there. “Martin!” he tries again, louder, and is rewarded with a sick ache in his temples, as though he’s been listening to loud music for hours on end. 

Jon looks at the empty bed, and the impossible world around it. He looks at the bedroom absent of the only person who matters, and the open door lying in wait. He gets out of bed.

Jon slowly lowers one foot onto the axis between two ribbons of not-floor. They feel solid enough, as he leans more weight down, right up until the point of no return when he’s invested too much balance to safely shift back. Then their surface is silken beneath his bare feet, and all he can do is try to turn his fall into another step. He lands, and again it holds for a few treacherous moments until he’s unseated, unmoored, making choices of where to land next within scant falling seconds. Choices so fast and limited they hardly count as choices at all.

He makes it to the door, just barely. He tries to grab onto it as he’s moving through, but all his focus is on the next step, the next jolt where he loses what little purchase he’s gained.

There’s no sign of Martin in the hallway outside. He finds some modicum of equilibrium as he edges forward, takes a few shuffling steps across a relatively stable ribbon, pulled taut as a tightrope. The thought has just entered his mind that perhaps he’s getting better at this when a shiver runs through the whole network and Jon is plummeting, not tripping but true, stomach-drop falling, until his wildly flailing hand catches a ribbon, bringing him to a stop with a painful wrench of his shoulder. 

He hangs there suspended, breathing hard. He knows he needs to pull himself back up, not waste what little strength he has hanging here, but finally things are still enough that he can look down and see what lies below. Jon knows himself well enough, knows his own threadbare faltering will well enough to know that he will always look.

It’s not a void, as he had half suspected. It’s worse than that. Beneath the web that was once a place where he walked with his love are stretches of nothingness shot through with more tangles of ribbon, continuing down as far as the eye can see. It goes on far enough that he could fall for long, clear moments of terror before he was buffeted again, battered by some tightened stretch of rope in his path, solid enough to hurt but not enough to stop his descent. Some of those ribbons look thin enough to cut through his skin like coils of wire. At some point, he knows as though it has already happened, the thing falling would have lost too much for anyone to recognise it as a person.

There is already an ache spreading from Jon’s neck all the way to the tips of his fingers, where the cold silken ribbon clutched in his fist is the only thing between him and an endless fall. He reaches up another hand and the line of not-floor seems to thrash in his grip, like it’s reeling something in. He grabs on and pulls, pulls himself upward, muscles screaming and chest heaving with the effort.

He makes it, just barely. Tries to crawl forward and soon finds a gap wide enough that he’ll need to stand to make any more progress. And Jon wants so badly to stay, to give up and curl into what little safety he can find here, but: the empty bed. The discarded duvet. “Martin,” he murmurs again, and hears it echoed back to him, distorted, layering over each other: M-rtin, Mar-in, M-

Jon painstakingly gets back to his feet and stumbles around the next corner. This time, there’s something waiting at the end of the corridor, swathed in darkness. The web beneath him seems to still momentarily, allowing him a moment to stand and hear something beyond his own panicked breathing. There’s a kind of moist chittering coming from the centre of the dark; impatient, hungry. 

The ribbons around Jon shift one by one, each line being plucked, trembling in the aftermath. The ones beneath his feet twitch and the chitinous clicking sound speeds up, excited. Slowly, inexorably, the ribbons start to reel in towards the darkness, pulling Jon in their wake. 

Jon’s heart is thudding in his ears. He has seconds to decide between shaking himself free into the ever-fall or letting whatever is waiting in the dark draw him in close. He tries to Know what’s dragging him closer and hears in response a gentle sigh, the turning of pages in some vast encyclopedia, the uneven ticking of clockwork. 

He comes back into the present to find himself closer than ever to the creature in the dark, close enough to hear something dripping interspersed with the clicking rhythm. Jon can’t stand it any longer, one terror finally drowning out the other, and pitches himself out of the tangle of ribbon - only for some of it to catch his ankle as he goes, leaving him suspended and helpless, still being dragged slowly but surely into that mass of hungry shadow--

#new! thing! #tma fic #iiiiii want to know more about where this is going before i put it on ao3 #but also i wrote a thing and i'm impatient so here is sneak peak #i have a couple more chapters in mind with eventual comfort bc i can't abandon my MO

[lyssismagical]

may you know that you’re loved, even when you’re lost

Whumptober Day Twenty-Nine. Numb

Read on AO3

“You have to tell me what’s going on with you, Peter,” May’s saying, voice far away and echoing.

He’s sitting on a couch, their couch, in their apartment. Queens, he reminds himself. His name is Peter Parker. His aunt is worried about him.

He’s looking at her, but it’s hard to focus on her blurry face, world spinning and colors muddling together. He blinks a few times, wishing he could blink the dark spots out of his vision, but he’s learned their permanence.

“Peter?” May tries again.

Right, he thinks, focus. He has to focus.

Pulling at the corners of his mouth with foreign muscles, he twists his face into a polite smile. “I’m okay, May.”

His own voice sounds weird and distorted, not right to his ears, a stranger’s voice.

And May’s face falls into an emotion he couldn’t even try to decipher if he wanted to. Her hands touch his knees and he looks down at them, blinking slowly and too numb to feel the kind touch.

“I know you’re lying to me,” she says, sighing. He can feel her looking at him, but he can’t remember how to look up again, eyes trained on her blurry hands. “But I can’t make you talk… Just- I’m here for you if you need anything, alright?”

He wants to nod, it seems appropriate to nod, but he can’t quite remember which muscles will allow it, so he doesn’t.

May pulls her hands away from his knees and she stands up, world distorting around her. “I love you, honey, you know that, right?”

He’s staring at her face, trying to make sense of it, trying to convince himself that he looks like that too, trying to convince himself that she’s real.

It’s hard to believe. Only because he doesn’t feel real. And if he’s not real, how in world is everything around him real? It’s hard to differentiate what’s real and what’s not. He feels like his body is melting away and his brain is floating into outer space, and-

He forgets that he’s not supposed to think about space, it hurts just a little bit too much for his dissociation to handle and the universe tips around him, unsure how to handle the two ends of the spectrum at the same time.

“May?” His tongue feels foreign inside his mouth and his voice sounds like it’s underwater.

She turns to him from where she’d given up on him (of course she would, he shouldn’t be surprised, everyone’s going to give up on him, it’s about time) and she offers one of her kind smiles.

“Yeah, honey?”

He likes the sound of her voice, even if it does nothing to stop his body melting into the floor and his brain floating into the ceiling and the panic clawing at his chest.

He hangs onto it like a lifeline.

“Love you too.”

* Static.

Filling his ears and his head and his vision, static.

He’s lying in bed. The only thing that exists in his headspace is the ticking on his watch, hand resting over his chest, heart in sync with the ticking.

It could’ve been any time between noon and 4am, he doesn’t know- couldn’t know. Time is hard to figure out when his brain is gone and his body is like a heavy, weighted puppet for him to puppeteer.

He wants help- needs help. He hates feeling like this. Like he’s so far away from reality, disconnected, filled with static, empty and unreal.

But he lays, alone and too far gone to really feel anything, in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, and losing himself in the ticking of his watch.

* He doesn’t sleep at home, just stares up at the ceiling and lets time slip through his fingers. Instead, he sleeps in class, or at least he pretends to sleep. He thinks he just becomes so not-real that people just think he’s sleeping. Because he never shakes the tiredness.

Detentions fill his afternoons and nothing feels real, so he doesn’t fight it.

His homework is left unfinished, suit left untouched in his closet, light switch taped so it can never be turned off, texts from Tony left on read, he doesn’t process anything.

He just passes through life like a ghost, floating and not-real and numb.

* “Peter?”

That’s him, he thinks, quickly blinking his eyes open and towards the speaker. Black spots dance across his vision and exhaustion hangs onto his bones, but he tries his best to focus, even just a little bit on the blurry world.

It’s Ned. He’s holding onto Peter’s elbow, eyes wide with a sort of intensity.

“Peter, I thought you cancelled lab night,” Ned says. People use his name a lot when they’re talking to him like it’ll help him to remember that it’s him they’re talking to.

He’s not sure why Ned would know he cancelled lab night, can’t remember saying that at any point, but he doesn’t really remember cancelling either.

Somehow, someway, Ned seems to understand Peter’s incapability to compute, and he takes the lead as the car honks across from them, glinting in the sunlight and making Peter wince as the world blurs a little bit worse.

The concrete’s too solid under his feet and every step feels like a thousand years pushing forward with every individual muscle, but they do eventually get to the car.

But Ned keeps a firm grip on his arm, giving him no choice but to follow.

Peter doesn’t lift his eyes, but he knows it’s Tony who steps out of the car based on the watch that makes Peter’s brain go fuzzy.

“-okay?” Tony’s saying.

Peter wishes he was better at playing pretend. Wishes he could look up at Tony and smile and make conversation until they got to the tower, but his brain is broken. His body won’t function. He doesn’t feel real.

“It’s just… It’s just a Day, Mister Stark,” Ned’s trying to explain. “He’s just… spacey.”

Peter knows Tony’s frowning without looking at him.

Concrete under his feet, Ned’s hand on his arm, the school behind him, the bustling of students going home. Tony’s watch is ticking, the sun is glaring down on them, the car engine is running.

Grounding. But not enough, never enough to make the static feel less crushing, to make the numbness fade.

“Peter?” Tony’s saying. He’s touching Peter’s cheek, turning his face up, but Peter’s numb, too numb to feel much, to react to the pain in Tony’s eyes. “Hey, bud, you doing okay?”

His face is gentle and kind, calloused hand soft on Peter’s face, words quiet. It’s nice.

But Peter can’t find the strength to formulate a response.

“That’s okay too, buddy,” Tony says and it helps lesson the panic that had been creeping up his throat. “C’mon, let’s get you into the car.”

Tony says some quiet words to Ned while getting Peter into the car, but the young hero doesn’t bother to listen. Too much energy.

Engine, he reminds himself carefully when he starts feeling too weightless. Engine rumbling, watch ticking, breathe, the sun shining, the blurry world spinning around him, the punch-drunk feeling that’s settled around him.

“You hungry, bud?” Tony asks. He’s sitting in the driver’s seat now, suddenly, and the world is even blurrier out the window. “We’ll take it easy when you get to the tower, yeah?”

Even though Peter doesn’t answer any of the questions, Tony doesn’t seem to mind.

“We’ll order some pizza later,” Tony continues. “Get some garlic bread too. You can pick a movie to watch. As long as you don’t pick Toy Story again.”

It’s on the tip of his tongue, the cry for help, the plead to be saved, but nothing comes out of his mouth. So he settles for focusing on Tony’s voice and the soft hum of the engine, and tries his best not to float any more than he already is.

* “Mister Stark?”

It’s the first thing he’s said since they arrived to the tower. Tony set him up on the couch and tossed a few blankets over him and there’s an untouched mug of hot chocolate on the coffee table for him.

If Tony’s surprised by him speaking out of the blue, he doesn’t show it. He just turns and puts on one of his soft smiles.

“Mister Parker?” he replies, with the kind of easiness Peter wishes he could have.

He swallows thickly, tongue suddenly too big for his mouth. Tony’s face is all fuzzy around the edges and Peter tries and fails to blink it away.

Tony’s reaching out for him, so he grabs for Tony’s sleeve, needing something to ground him. He needs to be grounded. He can’t remember the last time he was, but nothing seems to help.

“Mister Stark,” he repeats, fingers curling into Tony’s sleeve shakily. It’s too dark and he blinks again to try to rid the world of the awful vignette it’s taken on, but nothing helps-

“I’m here, buddy.”

I’m not! he wants to scream, he’s not here, not present, not real. But nothing escapes his throat.

“Mister Stark.”

Tony’s free hand, the one that isn’t tangled in Peter’s shaking fingers, brushes back Peter’s curls with a careful, cautious touch.

“I’m here, Peter, I’m here. Breathe for me, okay? Can you count five things you see.”

It’s harder than it may seem because he can’t quite be sure if the things around him are real. He can see his hands but he doesn’t feel too real at the moment.

“Peter,” Tony sounds more insistent this time, so Peter pushes himself to cooperate.

“You,” he says, staring into the blurry colors around him. “Um, um, TV, couch, blanket, um, me. Am I- Am I-”

He’s pretty certain he’s panicking, clutching onto Tony like a lifeline who’s kneeling beside the couch, eyes wide.

“That’s good, buddy, you’re doing good. Could you count five things you see that are white?”

Different. Scales tipping. Focus, refocus. White.

It doesn’t help with his punch-drunk blurry vision, but he can do it. If Tony’s asking him to, he’ll try.

“Shirt,” he says, flexing his fingers in the fabric. “Buzz Lightyear, um, um, Tony- I-”

“You’re doing a good job, kiddo, only three more, okay?”

He nods once, movements caught like molasses. “Marshmallows, um, I- um, pillow, and- and rug.”

Tony smiles like he’s insanely proud of Peter. “There you go. You wanna do another one? How about you tell me what things you can hear, hm? You’ve got some crazy enhanced hearing.”

“Heart,” he starts. That’s an easy one. “Watch. TV, Toy Story. Um, cars, and, um, me? Do I count? Am I- Am I real?”

Tony’s still smiling, a quiet smile like it’s a secret. “Yeah, you’re real, bubba. You’re right here with me. I can hear you and feel you and see you. You’re right here sitting on my couch in the Tower. I bought it back after I got you back, you remember that.”

Focus, refocus. Don’t lose it now.

“I need help,” he says.

“We’ll get you help, kiddo,” Tony murmurs, running his thumb over Peter’s thumb. A constant.

“Feels like- Feels like I’m dreaming all the time and I- I don’t know how to wake up,” Peter says. “And it feels like I’m drunk all the time. Like- Like I can’t see right and everything’s blurry and out of focus, and I can’t feel anything. I hate it and I- I wanna go back to normal.”

“I used to have nightmares all the time.” It’s an unexpected admission, but it does it’s job of grabbing Peter’s attention again. “Of Titan. I sometimes would have to go watch footage of you swinging about just to remind myself that I got you back. I’ve called May before in the middle of the night to make sure she’s seen you alive and well.”

Peter frowns, feeling real enough for tears to fill his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

But Tony laughs quietly. “No, don’t feel bad, I just wanted to show you that you’re not alone, okay? And I got help and I’m doing better now, and I’ll be with you every step of the way to make sure you get better too, yeah?”

“Feel like- Feels like static.” He’s crying he thinks, lifting one of his hands away from Tony’s sleeve to rub his face and check. “Static and too bright and numb and tired. Always.”

Tony nods and runs his fingers through Peter’s hair gently. “I know, bubba, it’s going to take a little while, but one day, I promise, you’ll feel better, okay?”  

“You promise?”

Wrapping his pinky around Peter’s outstretched one, Tony nods. “Yeah, kiddo, I promise.”

It’s not an instant fix, but the promise is enough to help Peter keep pushing forward.

And just as promised, Tony’s there at his side through everything.

Just as promised, one day, he starts feeling better again.

#whumptober2019 #no.29 #numb #lyss writes #tw: dissociation #depression #irondad #irondad fic #don't tag as starker #this is just me projecting

[softstraykidsimagines]

Boyfriend!Hyunjin

A/N: SHE PROTECC

SHE ATTACC

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY

SHE BACC

HI GUYS!!! I’m so happy to be posting again i cry :,)  i hope you enjoy!!!! i;ll be updating as much as i can without rushing too much :D

MASTERLIST

Prepare your wigs peeps

This is gonna make me swerve

I mean

cmon it’s Hyunjin

Let’s do this!

Prince Hyunjin

Is actually smooth af with his crush

He'll complement you whenever he gets the chance

Or gives you food

Basically your knight in shining armor

Ye, that’s not what actually happens

He's smiling like an idiot and about collapse when he’s with you because HE'S FREAKING OUT OK

So freaking nervous his heartbeat is always up when he’s with you

You sometimes think he’s about to have a heart attack and you’re not stupid you know why lmao

Same for when he confesses

At first he’s pretty calm about it

Just casually asked if you wanted to see a movie with him some time

“Like... a-as more than friends?”

You'd kinda expected it so you weren't too shocked when he asked you

So you said yes

Duh

And he does a double take

"Wait.... Are you serious? You want to?"

"Well yeah?"

"WHAT WHY"

Was good with flirting but didn't actually think you'd go out with him smh

Now every minute he just contemplates the fact that he has you

And he still can't believe it

Like shit dude

He’s with the y/n

You never feel unloved when you're with him

He loves going for long walks, just to talk and relax

Why does it sound like he's a dog here lmao

Will always take as many pictures of you as his phone storage will allow, his camera roll is stuffed with pics of you

Will insist on going to the park for a picnic, he just loves you and the sunshine

He loves to quietly slide your hand into his

But he always ends up giggling because he’s so giddy about being with you

Has to take a moment to charge up his courage before giving you a quick kiss on the cheek

He then goes an unreal shade of scarlet as he covers his face, muttering that he ‘can’t believe that he actually did it’! 

It takes him a while to finally gather up the courage to properly kiss you

Like.... a very long time

You were starting to get worried that he didn’t actually like you

Maybe he was just too nervous to tell you that it wasn’t working for him

buT NOPE

On one certain date, Hyunjin had prepared a cute little dinner on the practice room floor

He was so apologetic about the poor setting, but finally had stopped saying sorry when you’d told him for the 2376129th time that you were having fun

At some point, he just went uber silent, watching you not in a creepy way

You eventually noticed, and just stared back

“What?”

He didn’t say anything, but his eyes did widen a wee bit

“What are you lookin at, you’re sorta scaring m-”

He cut you off and just kissed you

BOI YOU WERE SO SHOCKED

Afterwards you both just stared at each other

And then Hyunjin goes all red

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do that I’m sorry that was stupid you can slap me if you want!!!!”

“Bruh why would I want to slap you?!”

“You don’t hate me?”

facepalms for days

You meet the other boys only a few minutes later

Go figure

You’re talking casually, the embarrassment from the kiss wearing off

They all come stampeding into the practice room making an ungodly racket

And all go quiet when they realize what they’ve done

Changbin, bless him, tries to reduce the awful level of awkwardness: “*cough* uh hey, Hyunjin.... This must be y/n right?” He waves at you. “We’ve heard a lot about you, Hyunjin never stops talking about you”

He misses the death glare Hyunjin shoots him

Then Jisung

Freakin Jisung, man

Waltzes up: “Hyunjin’s cheeks are really pink”. He gives a cheeky smile. “You didn’t kiss did you?”

The room goes as quiet as a tomb

“OH SHIT YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY KISS DID YOU????”

Of course Hyunjin completely loses his shit at the sight of you turning a deep red. “GODDAMMIT JISUNG STFU”

Ye your first meeting with SKZ wasn’t the best

But you all bonded rather quickly after

And Jisung buys you little snacks sometimes as an apology for your first awkward meeting

OH GOD THE BOYS ADORE YOU

If you’re ever sick, they always get snacks for Hyunjin to give you

And if you’re really under the weather, they’ll cover for Hyunjin so that he can stay with you and take care of you.

He wraps you in blankets

YOU ARE NOW A BURRITO

And tries to make soup for you

We know what cooking!Hyunjin leads to

You’re chilling on the couch and you suddenly hear a high-pitched scream

You’re up and sprinting to the kitchen at the speed of light still wrapped in a burrito

To find him fanning at a smoking pot

“WHAT THE FUCK HYUNJIN YOU JUST NEED TO HEAT IT UP HOW DID YOU START A MINI FIRE?”

You’re home doesn’t burn down thank goodness

And you end up heating some soup for yourself while Hyunjin watches

And it’s! hilarious! when he’s sick!

He becomes a little ten-year-old istg

But in a really cute way

He doesn’t ask for anything: food, to watch TV etc

Nah he just wants cuddles

The whole damn day

So while you’re struggling to keep a mask on and not getting sneezed on, this idiot is smiling like a puppy if puppies could smile, clinging onto you like a love-filled leach did that sound weird? i think that sounded really weird

i want this tattooed on my face thx

Now idk what this dude is afraid of

Something tells me one big fear would be to lose Stray Kids and the people he loves

And so I think he’d get kinda nervous when you both see less of each other and when he gets busier

You can’t talk as much because of his crazy schedule and with lack of sleep, he starts getting more irritated easier during the little intervals of time you get to see each other

At some point he might snap at you, maybe for no reason at all, and you’ll snap back indignantly

Yeah you love him but you’re not taking any attitude

If things get really bad, he just shakes his head, saying he needs some air

You’ll both give yourselves some space, but eventually Hyunjin becomes terrified that you’re too angry with him to talk again

So he goes to find you and talk

You both hug it out and decide to spent the rest of the day together for more quality time

And it’s totally worth Hyunjin getting an earful from Chan the next day

OK back to fluff quickly quickly

On the days Hyunjin goes somewhere, you sometimes join him in the car ride, tho you’re always super careful to never show your face when he gets out

Gotta stay hidden yknow?

You’ll both send cute little texts throughout the day and OOF just couple goals

You: hey check this out, this is me 2 u *sends heart meme*

Jiiniie<3: oh yeah? well this is me @ u! *sends heart meme with more hearts*

You: boi dont start smth u cant win!

And thus begins the heart meme wars

r they even called heart memes idk

i want this tattooed on my face pt2

We’ve already established that Hyunjin can’t cook for love or money

So if he even steps foot in the dorms’ kitchen

You bet that at least two other of his hyungs will follow for pure supervision

And he is not, under any circumstances, allowed to cook something by himself

And you’re grateful that your safety and world peace had been assured by this rule

Although, you’re allowed to cook together as long as you watch what he’s doing

If anything at all goes wrong, the blame is pinned on you

So it’s natural for you to treat these cooking projects as once-in-a-while occasions

Now when you ask about meeting his parents

Holy Hell

Stutters, clammy hands, flitting eyes, you name it

Hyunjin is so frickin nervous about you meeting his parents oof

You don’t understand why, like hey, how bad could it be right?

But pretty soon you get why Jinnie was nervous

His parents aren’t that trusting within the first hour of knowing you

You guess it might be because of poor past experiences?

Maybe Hyunjin had been judged or dated once too many times just for his looks?

The thought is enough to make you swear by all you know to always treat him like a treasure

You also make a mental note to ask him sometime

Eventually, his parents realize you have pure intentions and they become so much kinder and warmer

They let you know how welcome you are to visit whenever you want, they offer to send you off with some homemade cookies...

And Hyunjin gets so emotional at the beautiful site in front of him that he bursts into tears

Which causes you and his parents to tease and hug him

if you’re thick, let’s just be clear that im making a statement on how you should NOT judge Jinnie purely because he’s good looking, appreciate his talent!

Now, Hyunjin is kinda tall compared to the rest of SKZ hah im joking of course so it’s pure instinct to want to steal his shirts

Don’t lie, if you had the chance, you would take something i see right thru u

And at some point in your life, you stop realizing ‘hey, this isn’t my jumper!’ and just walk around in clothes that aren’t yours

And when this happens, three things follow:

You see a wild Hyunjin crashing through the apartment towards you, yelling happily that ‘that’s my favorite hoodie!!’ he tries to act like he’s angry and fails in 0.0000003 sec

He doesn’t slow down and freakin slams into you at full velocity, knocking you over or off anything you might be sitting on

He proceeds to tickle you mercilessly, until you either can’t breath and turn purple or until you commit an extreme act of violence in the name of self defense

Once this chaotic episode ends, most of the time with both of you are completely knackered and just lying on the floor

You both cool off by just cuddling and watching something on TV

Or reading something together!!!

I can totally see Hyunjin shoving one of his fav books in your face and insisting that you both take turns in reading aloud to each other

And you both react at the same time to shockers in the book, like you start crying together when a character dies who hasn’t had that traumatic experience or you both squeal with joy and hug each other tighter when something great happens

Did I just turn into a puddle of happy goo?

Yes I fuckin did.

I think Hyunjin wouldn’t take that long to tell you that he loves you

That doesn’t mean that he planned anything tho

HAH! Course he didn’t

Probs says it when he can barely think straight

Maybe you’re watching him dance late at night

You’d brought snacks to keep him going ‘cause he was working his ass off

And there you sit, marveling at his skill and fluidity while executing his choreo

You have a talent for hyping Hyunjin up while he dances, cheering when he leaps high into the air, gasping when he performs a complicated move, and aw-ing and his graceful poses ok im done now

When he finishes one of his more dramatic dances, you jump up with glee and tackle him in a hug despite him being sweaty, saying how proud you are

He hugs you back happily and says:

“I should be the proud one, having someone I love so much being so supportive of me”.

You both freeze, still hugging each other

And neither of you move or breathe for a moment

“What did you say?”

“UhhhHHHH NOTHING I SAID NOTHING”

“You said that you love me!”

“WAT NO I DIDN’T I-”

“HYUNJIN I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!”

“N- wait what?”

“I love you, dumbass” same tho

Oof that poor practice room has seen a lot of awkwardness

I’m cracking up just by thinking of how hopeless Hyunjin could become when SKZ are away

“Hey do you guys have a signal and/or data? I wanna Skype y/n and show them the beautiful view”.

*all of SKZ facepalms*

Always taking pictures to show you

In the evenings, you get a frickin cascade of notifications of both photos and messages from the poor boy telling you he misses you like crazy

When Skyping, he asks to see Khami, who you have the pleasure of caring for during his absence

You do question (mentally and then verbally) whether he calls to talk to you or his dog

He never answers the question heh

There’s lowkey a competition between you and Khami for Hyunjin’s affection

When the boys make their flight home, Hyunjin keeps you informed about everything that’s happening

I mean everything:

Jiiniie<3: we’re @ the airport :D     -6h ago

Jiiniie<3: waiting to board!     -5h ago

Jiiniie<3: they’re getting ready to go, i can’t wait to see you!! xxx      -5h ago

Jiiniie<3: will text you when we arrive, love!     -5h ago

Jiiniie<3: JUST LANDED! CANT WAIT TO HUG U     -31mins ago

Jiiniie<3: about to get our luggage!     -Just now

You get the point -_-

When you finally see each other, he runs at top speed to pick you up and spins you around

frickin goals man i feel so sad writing this :,)

He goes public in probably the most aesthetic way that’s physically possible

He posts a bunch of gorgeous photos-

Courtesy of Jisung

-of your silhouettes in front of sunsets

-Pics he took of you laughing during a cafe trip

-Bomb-ass selcas where you’re both lookin hella fine

Just

UGGHHH

SO! AESTHETIC!!!

Naturally, the internet freaks the fuck out

Both of you are kinda nervous about the explosive reaction

There are salty bitches who are telling you to piss off because they jelly

But the huge majority of Stay are crying with happiness and wishing you both well

this better happen in the future im watching all of u

And soon Hyunjin is talking about you on vLives, proud af because y/n freakin rules!

OhmyGod I love Hyunjin

Damn my heart be like < HYUNJIN 3 phew

#hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin imagines #stay don't stray #stray kids #stray kids hyunjin #scenario #kpop scenarios #kpop scenario #hyunjin scenario #imagine #imagines #kpop imagines #boyfriend #kpop au

[chickennoodlesoupfortae]

Runaway

Jimin x Reader AU

Summary- Runaway *txt voice* . Jimin is a wandering time traveler meeting people from all times and breaking hearts all the same.

A/N- I’m going through a list of prompts, so here’s the first one shot  just dumb fluff and a mild plot. I hope you guys like it and if not tell me. Anyways I’m back and in quarantine/shelter in place so might as well write again. I love getting request and DMs. I hope you all stay safe and healthy 

Word Count- 2k+

Warnings-none (cursing?)

3/19/20 

Chapter One 

“Give me something different from the world.” you laid your back on the chair holding on to the table and pushing back. Three papers due the next morning and you were drained of all the energy you didn’t know you possessed. How in the world were you going to do this again and again for the next four years in college. You thought your days of studying were gonna be over after high school, but how naive you were. Movie after movie told you that college would be a fun time to drink and party but the only party you went to was for orientation. Luckily you had gotten your own dorm away from any distractions and which you thought now may be the reason for your isolation. “I wish something could happen out of the ordinary.” You were well aware that you were foreshadowing something or at least hoped you were. Manifestation was said to work and at this point your level of procrastination allowed for you to be slightly delusional.

Park Jimin was a born time traveler. He wasn’t ever in one place for more than a week in fear of disrupting his timeline. He also wasn’t quite sure when he started wandering through time. If you asked him he might look away like he often did and tell you one day when he was little he wandered and found himself far away from his home. In reality Jimin doesn’t know much of his past, he tries to forget what he does remember and move on. When he sleeps on nights when the wind is cold and the clouds cry he can almost see his mother calling out for him. He will follow her voice until he is at the edge of the woods. When he’s lucky he can touch the trees and smell the soft scent of fall in the air, just as he begins to move to her he always wakes up. That night Jimin had seen her closer than he ever had and woke up in a thick sweat. He knew he had to leave the time he was in and move on. 

“Alright buddy, it's time for us to leave.” he hugged his small chick stuffed animal and put it in his pocket. The tavern was small and cramped, there were tapestries lining the wall and soft purple curtains covering the windows. The year was around fourteen hundred and he was in the royal court of one the kings of the time. It wasn't his first time posing as a noble and wouldn't be his last. He always left quietly and briskly in the night never saying goodbye. He was the lost lover of countless stories and lives but he never seemed to care. And so he opened the large door carved and shining in the dim light of the candle he held. In the hallway was the princess he had tricked into giving him a place to stay. He wasn’t heartless, and that’s why he always left in the cover of the dark.

“‪Jimin, what are you doing out this late?” Aurora was undoubtedly beautiful, he thought for sure the story “sleeping beauty” must have been inspired by her. He felt bad for once seeing how much she had grown attached to him in his short time in her court. 

“I- can’t stay?” It was as if he was asking a question to her hoping it was a good enough excuse.

“Please don’t go.” Her sweet soft eyes were watering and he could almost touch her pain in the air. “I love you.”

“I’m sorry. I need to start my life over.” He wasn’t lying 

“No please,” she ran over to him holding his hand in hers. “Stay here, we can make it all work.” Jimin looked down at her and felt guilty. He had led her on and given her an escape from the marriage she was bound to. 

“Please I just need to get something, I’ll be back.” She knew in her heart he was lying. She wasn’t foolish, she was smart and educated. And still she followed along with his clear lie.

“I will love you till the end of time, I would wait a million years, say you’ll remember?”

With that Jimin let go of her hand and gave her a small peck on the cheek. “I will.”

He had to admit he wasn’t expecting that and he would remember that. He walked out the hallway and outside letting the rain encompass him and let his mind take him.

Three am was when you finished all the papers. You were so tired you could almost cry. It was pouring outside which meant in four hours when you had to leave for class you would need an umbrella and of course you didn’t have one of those. The skin care routine could wait tonight and you shut off all the lights and finally laid back in your bed. Just as your eyes closed you heard water fall on your floor.

“What the fuck” you whispered being angry you had a mess to clean. “Why do I always leave shit on the ledges where they can fall?” You turned on your lamp sitting up. You rubbed your eyes and turned around. First you saw shoes, old ones at that, and then you realized said shoes had legs attached to them. You closed your eyes and said a small prayer in your mind hoping they’d be gone when you opened your eyes.

And then you screamed.

Jimin planted his feet on a hardwood surface. He knew he had to be in more modern times by the cool air in the room. He let out a nice calm sigh and then he noticed the lights turn on and a girl scream. “Fuck, Fuck,” he ran over to cover your mouth “shhhhhh, calm down” 

With the stranger's hand on your mouth you began to cry and bit him. “What do you want? How the fuck did you get in here? Please don’t kill me, I’m too young to die.” Jimin let out a Yelp at your attack.

“Jesus, I’m not here to kill you. And if you wouldn’t mind I’d love to leave.” He turned around and headed for the door.

“Stop,” you called out grabbing your phone. “Why are you in my room?” 

“Trust me I didn’t mean to be here.” He turned around facing you. To be completely shallow for a moment you were taken aback by his looks. He looked unreal, handsome and beautiful all at once. 

“Then why are you?” You stood up still holding your phone in case you needed to call for help, as beautiful as he may be it didn’t mean he wasn’t a serial killer.

“You don’t want to know.” Jimin was feeling reckless and sad. He didn’t need another connection and his judgment was clouded by his encounter.

“Tell me or else I’m just gonna call the cops.” 

“You want the truth?” He asked, raising his voice slightly making you pull back a little, gripping your phone tighter.

“I want to know why the fuck there is a stranger in my dorm, so yeah I do.” 

“You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you the truth.” He looked like a prince in his dated attire, you didn’t know if you were creeped out or intrigued.

“Why do you look like you stepped out of a painting” Jimin looked down at his soaked puffy sleeve.

“I guess I almost did,” he chuckled. “What would you say if I told you I’m not from here. Better what would you think if I’m not from this time or any time?” He stepped closer to you 

“I would ask what you were on and if I could have some of whatever it was.” You felt safe, this made you feel delusional and stupid but there you were sitting back on your bed.

“Nothing. I’m on nothing.” It made Jimin more sad confirming that no one would believe him.

“Yeah I think this is a dream, nice and all. Must I say my mind really does create beautiful people.” You pulled the covers over your head and closed your eyes.

“What’s your name anyways?” You asked mentally check out.

“Jimin, my name's Jimin.” He walked closer to you taking in your features. You seemed so peaceful. 

“I got to say this is some crackhead sleep paralysis demon, ain’t nobody doing it like me. My name is y/n Jimin you can spend the night my dear sleep paralysis demon.”

Jimin laughed and laid down on the floor still wet. He soon fell asleep to the sounds of you snoring. 

You didn’t set your alarm and so you slept until nine. You woke up and rubbed your eyes sitting up and letting out a long yawn. Cracking your knuckles and moving your feet to the ground. 

Jimin woke up to the ear breaking sound of your scream.

“Who the fuck are you?” You were holding your lamp as if it were a bat. “Get the fuck out.”

“Aish, Jesus it’s too early for this.” Jimin stood up grabbing his bag and heading for the door. He put his hand on the knob and turned around. “I told you, you wouldn’t believe me.” And with that he walked out the door. 

You put on your glasses and put down the lamp. Your mind was going a mile a minute wondering what had possessed you not to call the police. You put on a sweater and ran after the man that was just in your room. 

Jimin pressed the elevator button. Admittedly it had been a long night and he had to figure out where he was and more importantly where he was gonna stay. It was ten times harder to fly under the radar in the future. There were cameras and events everywhere. He couldn’t be in two photos at once. He felt your hand on his wrist and turned around.

“Who are you.” You looked deep into his eyes looking for an answer. “Tell me why you came to me and don’t just leave.”

“I already told you.” He put his other hand on your shoulder.

“You’re not some bullshit time traveler.” You let go of his wrist breaking the moment.

“I am.” The elevator opened and he stepped in, pressing lobby. The doors began to close and just as he thought he finished with you, your hand stopped the doors. You walked in.

The doors closed and he let out a long sigh.

“So you can travel time.”

“It’s almost like I told you this.” he snapped back

“Damn, okay. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

“That someone had someone's feet in their face. And someone screams at them again. So yeah someones a little pissed.”

“Say someone again.”

“Someone.”

You were so ready to get out of the swing of things that you could stupidly befriend your intruder. A pretty twisted Stockholm syndrome in the making.  The doors of the elevator opened and Jimin went in front of you.

“What do you want from me?” he asked more frankly than you thought he should’ve.

“Hey, I’m the one asking questions here. I didn’t sneak into someone's house last night and then claim to be a time traveler.”

“Say someone again.”

“Someone- wait no don’t distract me.”

“I don’t want you to follow me around. God are you stupid?” he speed walked forward leaving you a couple feet behind before you.

“Whatever, lier you can be all alone in your schizophrenic delusion.” 

Jimin turned around. He didn’t know what it was about your statement that triggered something in him. He had nothing to prove to you or anyone for that matter. But in that moment he needed you to know he wasn’t a liar. Maybe it was the fact that he had never told anyone before and after having it fall out yesterday the last thing he wanted was someone telling him what he was saying was fake. 

“I’m not a liar.” he whispered. He walked back to where you were standing staring you down. 

“Prove it crazy.” 

Jimin grabbed your arm and all you saw was black. It must have been less than a second but you felt suspended in the air for an indescribable time. 

“Do you believe me now?” Jimin gave you a devilish smile motioning to your surroundings. 

“How in the fuck- I where- Bro- bring me back-” he covered your mouth and shuttled  you into a corner.

“Shh y/n. You’re gonna ruin someone's life if you’re not careful.”

Why did he sound excited?

A/N- if you’re reading this that means you read it all. Thanks :)

#BTS #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts rm #bts hoseok #bts jin #bts yoongi #bts jimin #Park Jimin #Jimin #chimmy #bts fluff #jimin fluff #Bts au #taehyung #bts v #jeon jungguk #jungkook #fanfic #jimin aesthetic #jimin moodboard #jimin angst