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trivalentlinks · 1 year

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saw this cute reddit Am I the Asshole post by reddit user tway23421 with peak enemies-to-friends energy and thought my friends here might like it.

Also here's another enemies to friends story from its comment section with a similar energy, but from the rebellious asshole kid perspective (by reddit user D_OShae)

AITA (Am I the Asshole) abbreviations:

WIBTA = would I be the asshole

NTA = not the asshole

[Image ID

1st image: reddit r/AmITheAsshole

Posted by u/tway23421 11 hours ago

WIBTA for spraying some kid with my garden hose daily after he walks all over our lawn

I (37M) live with my wife (37F) and son and daughter ( 9 and 11 respectively).

Recently, there has been this kid who comes by our house after playing soccer and either rides his bike or walks over the lawn with his cleats on his way home.

It started out as me giving him stern looks whenever I saw him, then it slowly progressed to me asking him to just go around.

The last time I asked him to stop he made a point to stomp extra hard and twist his feet in to the grass to piss me off.

Since then Ive just been hosing him. The first time I sprayed him with the hose he ran off, but then for some reason he just started standing there while I hose him like he enjoys it.

Its now progressed to me sitting on my lawn chair pointing my hose at him, and him just staring at me while he does so. Sometimes we even make small talk.

Im ngl, it started off as a really bitter relationship, but Ive actually gotten to know the kid quite well, we talk for maybe 15-20 mins everyday, and he doesnt seem to mind being hosed down after sweating hard playing soccer.

He comes by daily and we just shoot the shit while I hose him and he stands there for a bit.

Wife told me I need to stop, even after I explained it to her she said Im making us look like childish idiots.

I guess I could stop, but honestly its really funny waiting for him to come by and I see no harm in it. WIBTA?

2nd image:

Comment by D_OShae 4 hours ago:

NTA, and this is actually kind of sweet.

When I was in my teens, I used to visit a small greasy spoon (diner) where my friend was a waitress. This old guy (late 70s) came in every day at the same time and sat in the same booth. He would order one of three meals. One time I sat in "his" booth doing some homework (and drinking a ton of coffee refills). The man came in and told me -- not asked -- that I needed to move. I did. It happened again a couple of weeks later. He called me a little bastard for sitting his both. A couple of days later, I did it again on purpose. He called me a little bastard and told me to move. I moved my books. The man grumbled and sat down.

Over the course of about two months this scenario got repeated. Somewhere along the line I asked him about a ring he wore. The stories started to come out. I learned he and his late wife came to that restaurant for over 20 years to have dinner. I was sitting in her place. However, I kept asking questions, and he kept relaying his stories. This man lead an AMAZING life, and I listened to any tale he wanted to share. This went on for two years.

When he died at the age of 81, I went to his memorial. I met his children and grandchildren. When they asked how I knew him, I told them my tale. His children laughed because he called everyone a little bastard, male and female alike. Then I began to recount some of the stories he told me. His children verified some, but then they heard stories he never told them. I ended up meeting with his children several times to tell them everything he told me.

Mr. Banhke, I am not a believer, like I told you many times, but I still think of you and your incredible life. You are not forgotten.

]

AITA (Am I the Asshole) abbreviations:

WIBTA = would I be the asshole

NTA = not the asshole

#reddit aita #reddit #enemies to friends

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graysonshmayson · 4 months

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BtheorytimeD

OK HEAR ME OUT but I think I finally cracked the code on who these wackos are, and that is none other than the WAYNE FAMILY OF GOTHAM.

Everyone and their mother has heard about Bruce Wayne, but a lot of people forget how lowkey fucked up his family life is! Starting from this beginning, Bruce Wayne tragically lost his parents, socialites Thomas and Martha. He was a total recluse for a while until he emerged eventually as a charming playboy. He can be a bit of an airhead, but he takes his company, Wayne Enterprises (WE) seriously and it's an old FAMILY BUSINESS. The ages are a little off, but very close to the ages Bruce was when he took in Dick Grayson after his parents died. The records are kept super private, but there was a leak a few years back and it came out that Wayne never technically adopted Grayson. He always called him his “ward”, which is a little outdated, but just means that Wayne was granted custody of Grayson. They’ve never spoken publicly about this. The only rub here is Grayson’s role in the company? Publicly, he took no such role aside from occasional trips to WE, press tours, and attending charity events. But WE is an incredibly vast private company with more sectors than I can count. It’s perfectly reasonable that he might have fulfilled a role we just don’t know about? Like maybe being Wayne’s assistant, or charming people into investing? All we know about the role is that it is dangerous, and doesn’t have to be a child but would be slightly strange if it wasn’t. Sort of stumped me, but I’ll get to it.

According to paparazzi and friend’s social media posts, Grayson moved out of Wayne Manor at 18, probably to go to college, because we know on his LinkedIn that he has several degrees. He kind of went dark during this time, which was hot gossip because he was a big teen heartthrob in Gotham and in the media and he just disappeared. Later that year, Wayne adopted Jason Todd. They kept his family history out of the papers for the most part, BUT I was able to do some digging and ask around Gotham because I know he was adopted from somewhere near the Crime Alley neighborhood (IK, it's like the most Gotham name for a neighborhood, sue us). According to some of Todd’s childhood friends and neighbors, his bio dad was out of the picture and his mom was an addict that OD’d ages ago. He abused, and everyone knew it, was functionally homeless for a time. We don’t know how long the adoption process was or exactly when it happened, but it is pretty self explanatory why Wayne, seeing a dark haired kid without parents in the same area where his parents were killed would fastrack that adoption, especially after Grayson just moved out. Also OP’s comment about J’s room situation tracks because how many people are well off enough to have several empty rooms? PLUS, Jason = J! It just makes sense. Jason later died when he was a teenager in a terrorist attack overseas on WE BUSINESS. Wayne fell out of the public eye for a while, understandably so. The only problem at this junction is that Jason Todd is still dead. Or IS HE?

My loyal theorists know that I talk about a lot of urban legends/events in my hometown of Gotham and this is one that I haven’t been able to touch on a lot. What if Jason Todd is still alive? Here’s some evidence: Wayne was incredibly quiet about Todd’s death. We’re talking closed casket, no PUBLIC FUNERAL (the dad not inviting OP? Ringing any bells?). Plus, no public funeral for the young son of BRUCE WAYNE is crazy optics-wise!! Plus, there's lots of speculation about some photos that look suspiciously like Todd. This is around Gotham, and AT WAYNE FUNCTIONS. There is this guy in Gotham that has maybe vitiligo or something (which, admittedly, we don’t know if Todd had, but this guy just has a white streak in his hair), but he’s built like a tank and has all these scars. Very scary looking, very RBF. Definitely could be a vengeful person that survived an accident. He has been seen at Wayne events, usually not very social, and has been seen with the Wayne boys around Gotham. A lot of people thought he was a bodyguard, but it could totally be Todd!

I’m not sure exactly why they wouldn’t have announced his return, but it could have something to do with how he got involved with crime. It is no secret that violence, drug trafficking, and just like all crime are rampant in Gotham. It’s also well known that the Wayne family had plenty of mob connections in the past, the most recent being Thomas Wayne’s association with Carmine “The Roman” Falcone, the biggest mob boss in Gotham at the time. Is it so hard to believe that Todd could have utilized these connections to start and continue his life of crime? If he really wanted to get back at his dad, using these connections would be the ultimate spit in the face as Wayne has declared public disdain for the mobs in Gotham. Even if this disdain isn’t true, something we have to keep in mind is that J expects OP’s dad to KILL the man that was behind his death. He believed Bruce Wayne capable of murder and EXPECTED him to do it. It's not hard to speculate how a billionaire could have someone killed, but for Bruce Wayne to kill someone is unthinkable to many. He’s the shining star of our city, Gotham’s certified babygirl and daddy wrapped into one. His philanthropy is staggering and life changing, especially compared to other billionaires and elites. We’re talking about a man known to pay off his barista’s student loans and provide housing to entire homeless camps. I doubt anyone could get away with framing Wayne for murder, so what does J know that we don’t? Perhaps he was expecting him to use his family mob connections to avenge his son's death? But he didn't, OP's dad is someone capable of finding and killing criminals, but refused to. Sounds like a billionaire philanthropist to me.

Here’s where I make a couple leaps. We just don’t know enough about T in the story to make too many connections, but we do know this: T’s father was in an accident and later died. T spent a lot of time with OP’s dad. Then T was then adopted. That brings me to Tim Drake, the third adopted Wayne boy. Note the T in Tim, there. Drake’s biological father was indeed hospitalized and confined to a wheelchair. Classmates and teachers in his high school confirm that Drake was acting out a lot in school and had a strained relationship with his dad. Drake often showed up to school with bruises that he didn’t explain away very well, and it was known that he spent a lot of time with Bruce Wayne. There was actually some concern about it! After Tim’s father died, he was adopted by Bruce Wayne. The problem here is that we don’t have anything that corroborates Tim being T when it comes to interpersonal stuff with OP and his dad.

OP says he had established a life in another city by the time T came around asking him to come back. At the age OP was in this post, Dick Grayson was living in Bludhaven, and joined the police force there, a city less than an hour away from Gotham. Totally feasible for a 14 year old kid. He also said that “our line of work” was dangerous, implying that he’s still involved with the occupation he worked with his dad and with his friends after he moved out. It’s possible that he had some sort of side hustle going, but honestly the hardest part about this theory is figuring out what the hell he actually does independent of WE. There’s also Wayne’s mental state to consider. Wayne has never spoken about his own mental health as an adult and OP makes some pretty serious allegations to his fathers mental state and self destructive behavior. We don’t see Wayne exhibit these things. The closest thing we have is anecdotal evidence from many sources that Wayne is incredibly flaky and cancels last minute to events all the time. Could this be him neglecting himself and throwing everything he has into WE?

Moving onto the “Stealing my dad’s son” post, this has SO MUCH INFO. D enters the scene as a young kid, after an old fling drops him off, which is so clearly DAMIAN WAYNE. Come ON people!!!! We don’t know a lot about how Damian came into his father's custody, but we do know that he was 10 years old and that Bruce Wayne sleeps around. It’s really not surprising that a surprise baby came out of that. We have next no info about Damian’s previous family situation, but he was kept out of the public eye for SO LONG and first hand interactions found him to be abrasive, violent, cocky, and note his overly formal vocabulary. Definitely the type of person to tell his adopted brother to “remember who the blood son is”. Plus, classmates of Damian have expressed how truly odd he is to talk to because of his vocabulary, that is if you can get through a conversation without him threatening to end your bloodline. Typical kid stuff. Sounds very culty to me personally. The whole thing about reconciling his image of his grandfather who he idolized (could have been the cult leader), Wayne seemingly going NC with Damian’s mom, and how hush hush his past is matches very neatly to the cult idea. And there’s like no records at ALL of Damian before he was 10 years old. It could also explain why the dad didn’t trust D for so long, after all that cult brainwashing

Plus some little details lineup here. T being “too much like him”? Tim was literally CEO for a time. OP scorning him? Dick was not seen in Gotham for like a year after he moved out. D is mouth and precocious? Damian is described as a child genius with a very sharp tongue. Around the time of the post, Drake was seen in Gotham less and less, eventually moving to Bludhaven, matching up with how he is no longer working with his father. Plus, Grayson was spotted in Gotham a lot more right before and for a while after Wayne announced Damian Wayne, which correlated with OP sticking around to help train D.

Now for the hard part: OP’s dad was presumed dead and Bruce Wayne is not. Oh, did I say hard? I meant super EASY. I’m not going to bore you with too many corporate details, here but in short Bruce Wayne was missing and Wayne Enterprises COVERED IT UP. Oh, you want evidence?

March 25th. Bruce Wayne leaves the country on a BUSINESS TRIP. There’s no records about exactly what he’s doing overseas. Bruce Wayne does not step foot on american soil for MONTHS. The public line for the company was that he was on a work trip negotiating a deal and then decided to extend the trip for a long overdue vacation, but emails among board members speculate otherwise. There was a lot of concern about his well being and that his excuses were flimsy. They needed him to come back and he refused. If you look at WE market fluctuations, you can see that stock took a decent hit during this time. Company emails also confirm that no one had talked to Wayne outside of his general statements and very rare board meeting. So, Wayne wasn’t appearing in public, no one spotted him overseas, and he wasn’t running his company. So where was he?

Well, if he disappeared “on the job” like OP said, it makes a lot of sense. We know he was negotiating some sort of deal, and any Gothamite knows that if there's one thing Bruce Wayne is gonna do, he’s gonna get kidnapped. This man is kind, a little stupid, and insanely rich. He is the PERFECT candidate to hold for ransom, but the Bat couldn’t save him overseas. The stock was already taking a hit from his absence, and if they announced he was missing, it would have gotten SO much worse. There’s also the fact that Damian and Wayne’s butler moved out of Wayne Manor and to the penthouse on Wayne Towers. Why would they move out if he was just on vacation? Dick Grayson also left Bludhaven around this time, and there are tons of paparazzi shots of him with Damian in Gotham.

ONTO THE FAQ. The details added on OP’s updated, answering questions, only support this case, so I’ll do them rapid fire. The dad took therapy consistently when he was young, and I know this is a stretch, but possibly Brruce Wayne’s grief counseling? The only people that live with OPs dad are 2 of the 6 kids and their grandpa. RIght now, Bruce lives with Damian, and his new adoptee Duke Thomas. Them along with OP and his two other brothers only account for 5 of the Wayne children. If only Wayne had another adopted child- OH WAIT HE DOES. She’s not mentioned in the posts (probably because she's an unproblematic queen), but a few years back, Wayne adopted one Cassandra Cain. The grandpa is admittedly a tough one to explain away, but I think it could mean Alfred Pennyworth, the Wayne Family butler. We all know that Wayne’s parents are dead, BUT Pennyworth was granted custody of Wayne after his parents were killed, meaning he raised him since childhood. He would totally be a grandfather figure to the Wayne kids,a dn the phrasing is sort of odd; “he has no family and lives alone now except for 2 of us kids and our grandpa”. No family but the kids have a grandpa? Sounds like a surrogate father to me.

The only difficult thing to account for in the FAQ is Bruce Wayn being a “haven for wayward teens”. It is no secret that Wayne picks up orphans off the street of Gotham like nobody’s business, but the phrasing seems to imply that there are teens that he works with that aren’t legally his kids. I couldn’t find anything about Wayne working extensively with any youth groups, youth shelters, or nonprofits that would put him in consistent contact with young people. There are some individuals that hang around the family a lot though! Stephanie Brown dated Tim Drake and despite their breakup, still is with the family a lot . Brown is also from the streets of Gotham, went to school in Gotham Heights (so, lower tax bracket). Classmates said her father was in prison and there were rumors that her mother was an addict. She got pregnant as a teenager before giving up the baby for adoption. The point is, she definitely fits the wayward teen bill. Harper and Cullen Row also seem troubled, emancipated from their father and often appearing in public with bruises. Tons of rough looking teens are seen with the Waynes. Yeah, it’s a bit of a tough fit, and these could just be the kids' friends, but I think it's completely plausible that even if they are friends of the Wayne kids, Bruce took some responsibility to help them out.

The most difficult part of all of this is trying to figure out WHAT the job is that OP made. It’s gotta be something nonessential, but helpful (because it didn't exist before him), would be weird if an adult did it, and can be fulfilled by children. I cannot at all wrap my head around what WE needs for all these teens and sometimes literal children to help with? Is it just like, intern work? My first idea was that it was to use the child card to get investors or cooperation with other entities but I honestly can’t see Wayne pimping out the kids like that. Which leads to the final twist in my theory: the Waynes are still linked to the Mobs in Gotham, and BATMAN.

Think about it. Thomas Wayne and Carmine Falcone were close associates, and the Waynes are the oldest and wealthiest family in Gotham that we have on public record on being corrupt. Those ties go VERY deep. Thomas Wayne was a good egg, but it's a known fact that Bruce doesn't approve of his mob connections. But criminals are persistent, so I think that Bruce Wayne is trying to take down the mob from the inside. He gets insider information, funds things here and there and then gives the information to Batman, in exchange for protection. This is why he gets saved so fast by Batmans whenever he gets kidnapped, held hostage, etc. It would make sense how Dick, as a child, was able to sneak around or appear innocuous while gathering information. As he got older, he also got very charming, something that would help him get out of binds when he lost the baby factor. It makes sense why kids should take the job, even though it's dangerous, and why wayward teens, often with first hand experience with the violence and issues created by criminals, would give insight and street smarts where Wayne lacks it. It could also explain why he was hesitant to take T on; Tim Drake is from a wealthy family, so he had to prove he could do the job. How did he know about the Job? Probably from a gala or something, high society gossip. Drake was no Wayne, but he was RICH RICH. Again, these connections also explain how J was easily allowed to slip into a life of crime and why he was so mad at the dad for not avenging him.

These also support my working the idea that Batman is a soldier for the elites of Gotham and our shadow government! If Bruce Wayne is giving information to Batman, it makes sense that he’s also funding him. As many jokes as we make about Wayne being Batman’s sugar daddy, I really think this idea has merit. BUT I am from Gotham, and I center a lot of my theories around my city so maybe some of this is wishful thinking? But I think a LOT of this stuff adds up objectively!!! Anyways, I stand by it, let me know what you think!

⇧ 20k

SuperFun1229 OP

Oh…. oh my god. Congrats on being my favorite reply because the fuck dude, you are insane for this one.

⇧ 8k

BtheorytimeD

THAT WASN’T A NO

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burnerhardlyknowher

uhhhhh hey dude. It’s me, you know, T. my lovely boyfriend showed me this post and i IMMEDIATELY made this account to. dude, i cannot BELIEVE you made a reddit AITA thread about us 😭😭😭. i promise u guys im not a victim lmaoooo

my brother, dear OP has neglected to share some interesting details about D, like how he LITERALLY TRIED TO MURDER ME. like pushed me off a roof and tried to stab me multiple times, he wasn’t just sad he was so dangerous.

everyone here says we need boundaries (so real) but i’m gonna tell everyone and J will probably kill you <3

can't wait to hear more updates on our wackadoodle life from you 👍

P.S. some of ur ideas are spot on yall should be detectives

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SuperFun1229 OP

IN HIS DEFENSE HE FEELS BAD ABOUT THAT NOW.

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Burnerhardlyknowher

He’s told you that?

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SuperFun1229 OP

It’s been implied

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BBomshell01

ASHDHJDHJK OP T SHOWED ME THIS I CANT BELIEVE U FRFR…. Didn't even mention me 💔💔. I just wanna say that we all forgive D for trying to kill T that was soooo forever ago we’re all passed it, he just liked being bitter. Anyway NTA, ur dad can be soso mean and harsh, especially back in the day. But like so can you? Idk you can do the same things when it comes to not trusting people so keep an eye on yourself 💕

⇧ 15k

SuperFun1229 OP

I always knew you would find this.

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_Boom5482

U were seriously beefing with 12 yo me 😂grow up

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SuperFun1229 OP

You CANNOT make fun of me for this shit you’ve fr tried to shoot me for no reason and tried to kill T at like 15 for the same thing 😭 you have no place to talk

⇧ 11k

_Boom5482

And i’d do it again

⇧ 9k

#batman #bruce wayne #damian wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #nightwing #dc #dc comics #stephanie brown #spoiler #tim drake #robin #red hood #reddit aita #reddit #my fic #bernard dowd

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chumsterfire · 1 year

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I KILLED ONE OF MY DADS OLD BUDDIES! AITA?

I (he/him) was helping my dad, Dalinar, with a long term community building project. He's trying to bring the community together through finishing an old project that's fallen into red tape. Something something funding issues. Anyway.

This guy, Sadeas, one of by dad's old military buddies who hangs out from time to time, is a real asshole. I can't stand this guy! And for good reason, I think. Before, like a few months back, dad and I were hosting a big community service project, trying to coordinate a big group of people. It was hard but we were making progress UNTIL Sadeas (who had come to help) calls the police and tells them we had kidnapped a kid (which obviously we hadn't done) The police came and pointed guns at us and we nearly died!! Until a group of guys who were neighbors of ours came and cleared things up. Either way the service project fell apart. The community lost a lot of trust in us. All because this ASSHOLE either thought it was funny or just hates seeing my Dad try to be more than a Vet.

So now we're back to the near present. Few months after that event. I hate this guy so much and He's not welcome over anymore. But my dad still lets him come to Activity meetings! And then things kinda get crazy from here. We finished a late evening meeting at our brand new community center (that Sadeas voted against moving to btw) and Sadeas find me over at the water fountain in dark part of the mostly closed building. He gets in my face, and tells me how he planned and has plans to ruin all our future projects, to the littlest detail. Like...!!! What? He then proceeded to tell me how he hates my Dad, he thinks he should be removed. I tell him that won't happen, my dad does too much good to be voted out, and Sadeas tells me he means like permanently. Like murder. He wants to murder my dad. I love my dad. So I attacked him. I know I shouldn't have but this guy's crazy! At some point I pulled out my pocket knife and stabbed him in the eye.

So does that make me the asshole or did Sades have it coming?

tldr: old war buddy threatened to kill my dad so we got in a fight and I killed him in the battle of it all.

#brandon sanderson #cosmere #cosmemes #cremposting #the stormlight archive #adolin kholin #cfsbf #hoid cosmere #hoid #reddit aita #aita

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phatburd · 1 year

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Link.

#Star trek #star trek picard #star trek the next generation #beverly crusher #jean luc picard #jack crusher #am i the asshole #reddit aita

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skoople · 7 months

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TLDR; child (age not specified) uses sidewalk chalk on the sidewalk and sometimes on garden walls at the edge of a yard. wealthy neighbors don't like it and come to the mom's door to ask her to stop her kid from playing with chalk, and threaten to call the cops. is the mom the asshole?

full text under cut

I live in kind of a fancy-pants neighborhood and it's a pretty stark contrast to my own person. I'm heavily tattooed and self made + pretty down to earth I'd say. Most of the people living here on the other hand were born into wealthy families and are complete snobs, except for the guy across the street. Shoutout to David if you're reading this.

I was enjoying my week off today as the doorbell rang. I opened up and there they stood, the three Stooges. Some neighbors gathered to complain about my kid.

They were less than pleased about him drawing with chalk around the streets and onto their perimeter walls (he didn't enter any properties just drew from the sidewalk).

The chalk is normal grocery store chalk and washes off extremely easily. If it's not thickly applied you can even somewhat blow it off. One rain and it's gone. None of the color stains, nothing stays behind.

They kept on ranting and I couldn't contain my chuckling. I usually am pretty strict, but this was just hilarious to me. 3 grown men complaining about a kid drawing flowers and such with chalk.

They threatened to get the police involved. I told them I'd love to laugh and chit chat about these completely hysterical complaints with an officer. After that I basically laughed them off the porch.

As for my kid, I'll definitely not discipline him for going out there and being a kid, not causing damage or harm, but just chalking some very short lived doodles. I'm more sad for the bitter Stooges who can't enjoy a child's drawings. If any of their kids were to draw on my front porch even, I'd sit down with them and ask about their cool little drawings and listen to them explaining their little worlds to me.

Am I going crazy? AITA?

#aita #reddit aita

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thethirdtreeofvalinor · 1 year

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AITA for telling my mortal friends that I can’t distinguish their verses of a song from another? For context: I am an elf and my two friends have just sung a twenty minute ballad to my Lord’s dad. After completion, I was asking to tell which parts were his and which the Dúnadan’s. For which I had no suitable answer. He tells me that a Man and a Hobbit are as different as peas and apples. And then he even told me that my judgment is poorer than he imagined! But I don’t think he took my view into account. To sheep other sheep no doubt appear different, but mortals have not been my study. I have other business!

#reddit aita #if someone did this already #oops?#tolkien #lotr #lotr memes #the lord of the rings #lotr fandom #silmarillion #silmarillion memes #incorrect tolkien quotes #incorrect silmarillion quotes #incorrect lord of the rings quotes #bilbo baggins #lotr elves #tolkien elves #aragorn

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spaceshipsandpurpledrank · 2 years

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#talkin #tik tok #aita #reddit aita #reddit

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ck2k18 · 2 years

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Part 5 of "Miraculous Redditors."

Prev / Next

#felix fathom #felix graham de vanily #ml #miraculous ladybug #ml s4 finale #reddit aita #miraculous fanfic

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absolutebl · 2 years

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So I kept this boy in my basement in chains, beat him up a bit, but also made him a nice salad, and then my hedgehog died and we like, totally kinky fucked. Am I the asshole?

Or should I just eat his?

#vegaspete #reddit aita #what i do #KinnPorsche

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chelsea-lat3ly · 10 months

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#fourth wing #rebecca yarros #violet sorrengail #xaden riorson #xadenviolet #violet and xaden #tairneanach #tairn #sgaeyl #andarna #liam mairi #fake aita #reddit aita #aita

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licorice-lips · 21 days

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This might be a controversial take, but I feel so bothered when I see some American reddit posts about children and weddings or even everyday life (and everyone can say it's American even if op doesn't say it bc the problems wouldn't happen anywhere but USA).

I'm not saying that I'm brothered because of those people life choices, that's not it. It's just that, as a Brazilian, I can sense the hyper-individuality at the center of the issue they are exposing and it's so gritting.

Like for example, when people complain about children behaving like the very children they are (crying, having meltdowns or just playing around really) in a restaurant, a plane, or a mall or something like that. It's so clear to me that those people just don't know how to deal with the very existence of children, some even throw so much hate on those children and I feel completely horrified.

Like, it's not even a consensus for them that children are part of society and, as such, they have a right to occupy public spaces!

And even the users who "understand", they comment "children are/can be annoying, but...", just baffles me because at least for me as a Brazilian, this was never even an issue! It was never discussed, or pointed out. I grew up going to restaurants, malls and other places with my parents and all the children there would be doing their own things and absolutely no one would bat an eye!

Even when I grew up, children making noises were just a background noise because it was never pointed out to me as an issue. Absolutely no one I know bats an eye when children are near making anything that isn't dangerous or inadequate.

And more than than that, I see a lot of people making such a fuss about "taking care" of "other's" children. For example, when I'm out and I see a child walking by themselves somewhere, it's just an instinct for me to look out for them until they reach their parent or somewhere safe, or if I'm looking out for my brother in a playground or something like that and another child gets hurt, in a fight or something, my first instinct is to help. I don't even think about it and most of the people I know wouldn't either.

But for some reason, for Americans (ofc, this is a generalization) something as simple as this seems to be the end of the world.

And mixing that with childfree weddings, it's just so confusing to me. Ofc, I won't judge people for making childfree weddings, it's their weddings and none of my business, they can make whatever choice they want. It's just that I don't understand their reasoning outside costs?

I mean, children are loud, and they can make fusses and all of that but still, I've been to so many weddings in my life with tons of children from almost every guest and I've never seen those children causing even one issue the entirety of those ceremonies.

(But I don't completely fault those people either, considering that the very infraestructure of their country is not fit for children, per my cousin's experience. In Brazil, for example, we have spaces destinated for children almost everywhere —playgrounds, toy rooms, changing rooms, and so on—, including malls, restaurants, wedding venues, my parents liked to go to a construction store that had a play area for kids even, and I know that's not so common in the US, at least not in my families' areas)

About weddings and day to day: I see a lot of it in AITA foruns, which, I understand, is not the norm, but still, there are somethings there that just makes me so genuinely confused.

For example, the whole concept of "outshining the bride" is so alien to me because to me people could go to weddings wearing chandeliers on their heads and it still wouldn't matter because the bride and groom are already the reason we're there to begin with??? HOW exactly do you outshine the REASON of the party?? Everyone is there for them, the whole ceremony and reception happens around them, what do you even mean with outshine?

And that is not to say I don't think there are things that are disrespectful to do at a wedding, I just don't see how one person can ruin the whole day because they caused an inconvenience? And going on that stream, why is it that that one minor thing can ruin your entire wedding day?

And don't get me wrong, there are things that can ruin a wedding but the point is that just expecting 100-200 or even just 50 guests to make everything about your happiness is not just irresponsible, it's delusional. And it's not that I'm implying that people will get out of their way to make your wedding day difficult, all I'm saying is that expecting everyone to comply with your own expectations is unreal because not all of them are even in tune with what you're expecting, people have different backgrounds and ways of thinking and something that is wrong for one person can not be for another. It's not their fault, it will most likely be unintentional —unless they're those crazy Karens or Chads I can't even believe exist.

And, if you indeed go to therapy, you'd know that your expectations are your responsibility because they will inevitably be frustrated one way or another. Other people are not and should not be expected to cater for your expectations, even in days that are special to you.

And even more than that: why is it that they seem to want perfection for their wedding day when it's exactly the imperfections that would make it so special? I once saw a video of a little boy interrupting a wedding ceremony to ask the bride if she was getting married in such a scandalized tone it couldn't be more funny. And there were so many comments of people saying that something like that would ruin their day, and this is so confusing to me.

Again, I don't have an issue that people feel like that, they are allowed to feel whatever they like (although I still draw the line in blaming other people for your expectations), but it still doesn't make sense to me. As a person who has a huge family and grew up listening as the older members of my family remembered their past experiences, if something like that happened at my wedding, it would've been the highlight of the whole ceremony because 10, 20, 30 years from now, I can assure no one will remember "perfect" wedding ceremonies, not even the bride and groom themselves. But something like that? That is something worth remembering.

That is something that people (guests and hosts alike) will find joy in even decades from now, and children will love to listen to.

So yeah, I won't judge, but I definitely don't get wanting your wedding to be so perfect that in the end it'll be just a generic memory.

Oh, and about the day to day basis, I feel so weirded out when I see Americans finding problems in the whole concept of doing favours for their friends, like... ??? That became viral on TikTok this week btw.

At the same time, it's so clear to me that the center of all those problems comes from the extreme individuality that permeates American and other Global North societies — but specially the US.

I feel the center of the issues is that this extreme individuality got mixed with the rising mental health discussions, and it became so toxic. It's like anything that is slightly taxing or costly to do is somehow a threat to our "mental health", like anything that takes from our comfort is immediately wrong, like any minor inconvenience is to be avoided when mental health is not about avoiding pain, it's about dealing with it exactly because things like pain, discomfort, annoyances are inevitable. Mental health is about dealing with them the best way we can and focus on how we can do the best of those situations, or at least keep walking despite of them.

We will be put into uncomfortable positions, we will be in annoying situation or having bothering companies because we live in a society and because we need close relationships and those won't ever be emotionally healthy all the time and in every situation, doesn't matter how hard we try or what our own values are. And I think this kind of thing gets mixed up with real abuse or neglect in the minds of individualistic people — as in "it's always the other's fault I'm inconvenienced", or "I'm right because my values and way of life are the healthy ones", or "everything that bothers or inconveniences me is an attack against me and my mental health".

What I am saying is that being inconvenienced by someone or a situation is not a threat to our emotional health, it's just life.

So what I'm trying to say is that I see so much Americans acting like any bothering little thing is somehow the end of the world for them, and more than that, like other people have the responsibility of catering for their comfort.

And it always reminds of my grandma. My nana spends half of her life serving others: she goes out of her way to help her friends and family, she always does things that can be considered inconvenient for her with a smile on her face. For example, once she was expecting a construction worker to take a look on her house's roof but she still left it all to go get me at the bus station because I needed a lift. I could've called for an Uber, but she insisted on doing that for me.

And my grandma is the one person I know that finds her life to be completely fulfilling. She's so happy in doing these little things for her family, nothing that is so bothersome for us seems to faze her. I remember her taking care of me when my parents where working and it didn't matter how much of a mess I made, she was always gushing over me like I was the second coming of Christ (she still does that, btw).

And it's not like my gradma doesn't have her own things. In the midst of all of that, she finds time to do her dyi projects, to go to her Bible group and make get togethers with her friends. She goes to church and watches her favorite tv shows, and she is so generally happy. Of course, she has her own struggles, such as anxiety, but she herself always comments to me that she finds her life to be as fulfilling as it could possibly be.

So it's ironic to me that individualistic people seem to be so unhappy despite preaching about mental health and not inconvenience themselves with little favours they consider it would take from them — either time, money, both, or something else — and my grandma, who actually lives her life by very Christian principles of serving others, is so happy with herself.

Personally, I also find myself happier and overall with a higher quality of life when I'm helping my friends and family. I feel better with myself when I:

• do things for others

• don't expect anything from my experiences but company, affection and love from the people I want near

• prioritize community instead of me individually

And I genuinely believe that that's something we as human beings are wired to do. We thrive best — both as individuals and a community — when we prioritize building community over our own individual comfort. And notice that I say comfort and not mental health — if it really costs you your mental health, it's because you shouldn't be doing in the first place.

So Idk, I just feel so confused and/or emotionally exhausted when I hear some very American reddit stories. It's not that they're wrong or TA per se, it's just that I don't know why this is an issue in the first place yk?

Ps.: please be kind and know that that is a generalization, I don't believe all Americans to be like that, it's just that their extreme liberal economic position instigates the individualistic behaviour (New World Order, by Daddot and Laval) and they're the best example I can give.

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