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bruciewayne · 5 years

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5 minutes

stevetony post-avengers, 2012 era, getting together, fluff, 2.2k

for ‘steve rogers’ on @iron-man-bingo

At first, Tony didn’t know what to think of Steve Rogers. Actually, that’s a bald-faced lie. He knew exactly what to think of him; arrogant, pigheaded, stubborn, and of course, nothing like the stories. At all. But apparently, he’s been under the influence of Loki’s sceptre (yeah, that guy from Norse mythology who fucked a horse (Tony’d went on a week-long wiki-venture in the middle of writing his thesis. It’d been a tough time.)), so it didn’t count, he’d apologised after.

They did say ‘never meet your heroes’ after all.

When he was younger, he was so sure that if he ever got to meet Captain America he’d hug him, thank him for his service. When he grew up, he promised himself that if they ever found him, he would deck his probably-perfect teeth. Adult-Tony does neither.

Adult-Tony keeps his distance. He so badly wants to punch him, because of everything his father said, but he feels as though he should wait until he has actual, reasonable grounds to punch him, things he’s done, not what his father did. The fact that his face would most likely break his hand also factors into his decision of simply shaking his hand when they part ways.

They’ve had a couple of small, quiet moments, mostly amidst battle, that make Tony think that maybe he’s not an asshole, and maybe he could get to know him, but at the end of the day, Tony really doesn’t know what to think of him, he’s good in the field, he’s a good leader, but outside of that, he doesn’t really know him. At all.

Thanks to dear old Nick, that changes, fast.

Well, about half a year after New York, maybe a month after his whole Mandarin/Killian. He spends the time ‘bettering himself’ and getting on and out and back in and then permanently out of a relationship with Pepper. On one hand, he hasn’t been all too productive (making, then destroying dozens of suits cancels each other out, really), on the other, it makes him a prime target for Fury to shoot at.

“You told me the Initiative was scrapped,” Tony says. He can’t believe he actually went to SHIELD for this. He, by choice (like, 21% choice) went into SHIELD HQ, to talk to their resident pirate. About letting five strangers move into his tower.

“You assumed the Initiative was scrapped, assumptions just make an ass of you and me, Stark, you know that,” Fury says, evenly, “you have the space and the funds. Stark, you know that something like Loki is going to happen again, the best way to prepare for that is like this, all of you under one roof, learning to become a team.”

“Your little boyband saved New York, once, by the skin of our teeth, and now you want us to protect the word.”

“Your boyband, and you lot aren’t the only people in my phonebook. Look, all I want is for you to become a team, for the future,” Fury pushes a manila folder to Tony across the desk.

The Avenger’s Initiative

“Fine. You owe me,” Tony concedes, leaving the room. He doesn’t take the file.

Within a week, he has two more assassins under his roof, with the next he has another scientist (a biologist). It’s awkward, for a bit, everyone staying in their own corners, so to speak, until Agent Bart-- Hawke-- Clint proposes weekly movie nights (Tony just thinks that he wants an excuse to watch movies (they’re going to be very good friends)) and much of the awkwardness dissipates.

It’s fascinating really, they know each other so well on the field, they work seamlessly together, but put in a civvie, normal, situation, and now no one knows where to sit, but the movie night thing helps and everything just clicks. Tony thinks he has friends now.

Except there’s something, someone, missing.

He doesn’t even know why he wants him here so much, it’s not like they got super close or anything,the four of them click, and based on what Clint says, Thor would slip right in and he’d barely be here anyway (which is a shame, because Tony really wants to get his hands on that hammer), but none of them know their captain at all and Tony can’t help but look at the four of them and think there’s something missing.

“The god and the legend too good for us?” Tony asks Natasha one morning. She’s the most open and vulnerable she’s been ever since she started living here, maybe a month ago; she has messy hair and she’s wearing a hoodie at least two sizes too big. It might be Clint’s. Tony’s not going to think about it too much. (And if he wasn’t in fear of attack-via-butter-knife, he would call her cute.) Anyway, he’s asking her because she’s the one reporting to Fury at the end of every week, and out of her and Clint, she’s more likely to tell him something (Currently, Clint’s giving him the silent treatment for putting purple dye in his shampoo (he drew over Dum-E with glitter glue (He’ll never admit it but Dum-E likes it))).

She gives him a look he doesn’t really want to decode. “Thor’s dealing with his own stuff, off-world, and Rogers is still at SHIELD.”

Tony gives her a disbelieving look, surely the team captain should be with them, and not in a cinderblock room eating crappy food (Tony’s been to SHIELD HQ exactly once in his life and never in the residential areas or the cafeteria (In his defence, he’s not too far off)).

Looks like he’s going to be getting another stamp on his SHIELD loyalty card.

It doesn’t take much to find out where Rogers is, a little hacking tells him his apartment details and a little more gives his security camera access. Rogers is pitifully predictable, Tony watches what he did in the past week, cutting between days and decides he needs saving.

All he does is go to ‘class’ (some guy explaining something, probably everything that happened in the past 70 years, while he takes notes. Captain America takes handwritten notes. (He should mention that he has godawful handwriting (Maybe Tony enhanced the image out of curiosity, but only JARVIS knows that and he’s well aware of the national ‘no snitching’ policy), he should also mention that he’s a doodler. Tony’s far happier than maybe he should be to find that he has a flaw - not so perfect now, huh Dad?)) and the gym (maybe he’s untouchable but damn Tony really wants to touch those muscles) and that’s it. He also leaves for hours at a time, only at night, and Tony could probably find where he goes, but SHIELD most definitely already does, and he thinks the guy deserves a little privacy from him (He leaves when the sun sets and comes back when it rises and looks the exact same. Not particularly suspicious until you realise that it means that he doesn’t sleep. Not Tony’s problem - he probably has therapists anyway.). He’s going through the motions, head down, quiet, Tony doesn’t think that he’s seen him smile the entire week.

JARVIS tells him that the sun sets in just under 20 minutes. He takes the suit.

“Going anywhere?”

“What the-- Mr. Stark?”

Tony’s always enjoyed the dramatics. He steps out of the shadows, still in the suit but with the helmet off, to face Rogers, legs straddling motorbike.

“Eh, call me Tony,” he says, casually leaning against a concrete pillar. God, the SHIELD garage is depressing. SHIELD is depressing.

Rogers still looks confused. And ready to book it straight out. “Anything I can do for you?”

“Come live with me.” Tony’s been told that statements usually make people do what he wants, instead of questions, and this statement is to a living legend, the Great American Hero. Telling him to live with him.

Rogers looks even more confused, “I already have a place?” He says, like even he’s not too sure.

“Fury didn’t tell you? Everyone has to live in Stark, well, Avenger’s now, Tower. For team bonding or something. In all honesty, I think he just wanted to get Legolas off his back, so to speak.” When in doubt, talk.

“Legolas?” Rogers still looks confused, but under it, there’s excitement, or proudness, or something, like he’s trying to tamp it down.

“Yeah, archer from Lord of the Rings, sequel--”

“To The Hobbit!”

Tony expected many things from him, straight up refusal was one of them, but not excitement at the Hobbit. If he couldn’t easily throw Tony a city block, he might have called him cute. (Whatever, he’s goddamn adorable, okay?)

“Yeah, kid,” he says, voice softening of it’s own volition. He clears his throat before he says anything more.

Rogers smiles at him, small and shy, and fiddles with something on his bike. “Were you, were you serious?” He looks at Tony likes he’s expecting him to pull the rug, yell ‘Sike!’ and fly away cackling.

“Yeah, you were meant to be there since the beginning,” Tony wishes that he has that file, from so many weeks ago, just to prove to him, ‘Look, you’re meant to be with us’. Fuck, a couple months ago he was ready and willing to punch this guy in the face and now he wants to wrap him in a million blankets and make him marathon the extended versions of the Tolkien-verse movies until he’s happy.

He’s going to be having words with Fury.

“Oh,” he says, like he never really considered that, “when can I move in?”

“Now’s always good,” Tony replies, challenging him with a raised eyebrow - ‘now’ means breaking out of SHIELD, ‘now’ means no more lectures from SHIELD personnel.

Rogers brightens up, it’s not much, but a 0.2V lamp in a basement seems like a quasar. (And if it makes Tony himself happy, to see him like this, well, no one has to know.)

“Let me get my stuff,” he swings off the bike and that should not be as attractive as it is. Bikers never really interested Tony, but there’s something about this one in front of him.

Tony comes with him, still in the suit, because he has to see his cinderblock in real life - hopefully the camera made it worse?

The camera did not make it worse. It takes him under five minutes to pack, and everything can fit in a standard backpack.

By the time they get back to the garage, Tony learns a couple things: 1. He knows what the internet is, and enjoys it, 2. The lessons are going incredibly slowly and he watched some Youtube videos and went on Wikipedia and already knows everything they’re telling him (they’re at the 70s and they skipped the formation of Queen), and finally, Steve Rogers, not Captain America, because in that short five minute walk he’s learnt so much about the man behind the mask he’s determined to never let him be forced behind it again, Steve Rogers is a nerd, a geek and a little shit.

And lonely. So fucking lonely. They pass so many people, walk straight through the canteen, twice, and while, yes, they get some double-takes (mostly baby agents (they’ll grow out of it)), no one says hi, or waves, or greets them or anything, even the guy who Tony recognises as Steve’s ‘teacher’ doesn’t say anything when they pass by in front of him.

He’s entirely untouchable, a living legend, Tony gets that, hell, even though that ten minutes ago, but under all that, under the fanfare and the applause and the costume, he’s a person, curious, bright, intelligent, funny, flawed. He wishes more people knew that.

“So, how fast can that new-fangled suit of yours go, Mr. Stark?” Steve asks putting on an ‘old Brooklyn’ accent and tilting his head and scanning it up and down as he straddles the bike again, bag on his shoulders.

“Fast enough,” Tony replies narrowing his eyes.

He grins. Bright and unabashed and it’s wonderful, but Tony only gets to see a second of it because he’s whipping out of the garage, yelling “Race you,” over his shoulder.

Tony’s laughing as he engages the suit, snapping up the helmet and following hot on his heels.

(They tie (4. Steve Rogers drives like a madman), shaking on a rematch.)

((It’s the happiest Steve’s been in the new century, in his life.))

It takes them a while. It takes them so fucking long even the new baby (practically foetus) agents are done with their shit.

It takes years of longing looks and brushed hands and secret smiles and quiet nights and flirty one liners and compliments, but eventually, eventually, Tony admits to the torrent of butterflies that inhabit his insides whenever he even looks at Steve and he kisses him, grinning so goddamn bright Tony’s positive his heart is going to burst.

“You gave me a home,” Steve admits quietly to him. Tony can’t see his face like this, in his arms, but he can kiss the side of his neck, hopefully communicating more than he ever could with words. Steve gets it.

“You make me happy,” Tony says, simply, into his skin, holding tighter.

(They tie the knot three years after that (the baby-- toddler agents yell Mrs. Rogers to Tony and Mr. Stark to Steve for a month straight (Tony doesn’t think too hard about the implications)))

((It’s the happiest Tony’s been in his life.))

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cptsdstudyblr · 5 years

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How I organize my studies with mental health issues

Hi :) I’m just here trying to survive a computer science degree with CPTSD, depression, anxiety, and some physical health issues. However, I’ve figured out a system that really (!!!) helps me keep organized and actually learn things despite all the challenges I face! So, I want to share it with you in case it helps just one person! This post is pretty long, but I promise it’s got tons and tons of amazingly helpful information in it!

I’m lucky enough to have a tablet to help me with my studies, but anything I show today can easily be done on a laptop or even on a phone, so don’t stress!

Initial Note Taking

I prefer to handwrite my initial notes if possible. Sometimes, my professors just go too fast and I have to type them, but if I have the option, I choose to handwrite them. I find that handwriting my notes helps keep my mind focused on the task at hand.

First of all, I’m a very tactile learner, so the act of writing helps me learn the material. However, I’ve found that there are tons of other benefits to writing notes by hand.

If you’re dissociating/anxious/etc., doodling is a good way to center yourself and help yourself calm down.

Handwritten notes are easier (at least in my non-professional opinion) to make neat and pretty, which can be a huge motivator.

Many classes have diagrams, and it’s super helpful to draw these out so that you’re more likely to remember them and so you have easy access to them.

For people who are nonlinear thinkers (NOT me at all, but I know some people are nonlinear thinkers), you can write your notes in any way you see fit - a circle, a mind map, a graph, even a dodecahedron if you so desire.

And there are tons of others I don’t have time to thoroughly explain!

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with typing notes if you feel that that works better for you. I have to do that for some classes (Geology, I’m looking at you), and I don’t prefer to type my notes, but some people find that they prefer it, and that’s totally okay! There are a few quick things to keep in mind if you choose to take typed notes, however:

I find it very helpful to keep a notepad near me so that I can doodle (again for dissociation/anxiety/etc.) and so that I can draw diagrams if necessary. I’m not talented enough to create computer diagrams quickly, so I usually draw them by hand even if I’m typing my actual notes.

Put in the effort to make sure you aren’t distracted by other things on your laptop! Typing notes can be a great thing, but technology is very quick to distract people. One method I find good for me is to make my notes full screen so that it’s harder to find things to get distracted by, but there are many methods for this.

Try to keep your typed notes tidy and organized. For me, this includes having consistent tab distances, changing font colors/styles (by styles I mean bold/italic/etc.) as necessary, and most of all splitting up my notes into documents by days or topics. I use Evernote, so it’s pretty straightforward to split them up, but even if you use another system, it’s wise to figure out a way to do so. Having one long document for the entire semester is not wise because it gets very overwhelming very quickly and is just plain hard to use.

The biggest help for me, however, is after I’ve taken my notes. I use Evernote to digitize my notes. It’s super easy to do (just take a picture in the app and it scans them like a PDF), and I find that having them digital is a huge help. It means a few things for me:

I don’t have to have every notebook with me to study - just the ones I need to take notes in. This is far more related to physical health for me because I just can’t carry that many notebooks without a lot of pain, but it’s also great for people who are forgetful due to mental health issues. All you have to remember is your laptop or tablet (or really, even your phone), so it’s much easier to make sure you have everything.

I can write all over them when I’m studying without ruining the original notes. I am a big fan of scribbling all over notes (writing mnemonics, drawing diagrams, marking what I know and don’t know, etc.), but I dislike damaging my original notes. This allows me to study as messily as I want without ruining anything.

I can make multiple copies of them if I need to - one for the class I took the notes in and one for my exam revision session. This is very helpful for people who aren’t feeling well enough to rewrite or retype everything into another place when revising for an exam.

Here’s what some of my digitized notes from my operating systems class look like (please forgive my very messy drawing - OS is hard to draw sometimes):

General Studying

This section refers to studying, but not for exams. This includes things such as doing assignments, reading for classes, and other such things. The most important thing for my studying is Google Tasks! I keep all my important due dates in there, even down to the time. Here’s an example of what my Google Tasks looks like:

Apologies for the blacked-out spot - that reveals where I go to school! I use this for every single thing that has a hard due date. This makes sure that I never miss a due date no matter how forgetful I am because my list of due dates is on my cell phone! I also find it extremely rewarding to tick the box when I finish an assignment, and even something as simple as that is such a huge motivator for me.

However, this isn’t where I plan how to study for the week. I do that - you guessed it - on paper. I have a journal (which you’ll get to see in another post) where I keep a lot of important stuff - including weekly study plan spreads! That sounds super overwhelming, but they’re incredibly easy to make and very simple to maintain. I’ll show you (artful pen to hide my school name)!

Let me break this down for you really quickly:

I have my pages divided into four (one quadrant per day plus one for notes), which works pretty well for me - I never run out of space. This setup takes me less than five minutes to make each week, and I find it works very well for me.

I like to write what classes I have each day at the top of the day just so I don’t get too confused (and I highlight it if I have an exam), then underneath that, I list everything I have to do study-wise.

I make sure to break each big task (e.g. “Study for Geology Exam) into smaller, more manageable chunks (e.g. “Make Geology flashcards,” “Revise Ch. 6 Notes,” etc.) all on different days of the week. This helps make each task seem way less overwhelming and makes me feel better about starting each task.

As you can see, my due dates are NOT on this sheet - this is more of a Study To-Do List than a list of my due dates. I do make sure to keep this updated so that I don’t miss any due dates, however.

You’ll also notice that I don’t have all that much listed for each day. It’s incredibly hard to stay ahead of things with mental health issues (I get that - I really do), but I find that staying ahead genuinely helps my mental health. If I have something to do every day, I feel productive and thus more motivated. It also gives me more leeway if I have a day where I can’t do any more than the bare minimum - I’m already ahead of schedule so I don’t need to panic. My best method for staying ahead is just to buckle down and do it. It’s not a great tip, but it’s all I’ve got (I’m allowed to struggle too - I don’t have everything together perfectly!).

Now, let’s talk about how to tackle each thing on this list.

Readings! When I have to do readings, my preferred method of note-taking is simply writing down definitions of keywords. Most of what I cover in the reading will be covered in the lecture, so I’m not too worried about jotting down every detail. However, making sure to note key words helps keep my brain engaged so I am less likely to zone out/dissociate/etc. Additionally, I can go back to those keywords to make flashcards later on.

Assignments! There’s not a whole lot to say about this one - every assignment is so different that I can’t say much beyond “do your assignments thoroughly.” However, a tip I find helps me a lot is to fully read the assignment and create a game plan before I dive in. This makes the assignment way less overwhelming and gives you concrete stopping points if you need a break.

Studying! will have its own section right below this, do not fear.

Studying

Watch this quick video (which is at the bottom of the text for some unknown reason?) of me scrolling through a study session, then I’ll explain how I study and why it works for me!

Let me just list my Studying Steps (TM) for you and break them down:

About a week before: Write all the information in a clear, consistent way.

By this I mean: Go through your notes/the slides/the textbook/anything with information and write it down freshly. I prefer (like usual) to handwrite this, but it can certainly be typed.

This is good because it requires you to reread and rewrite every piece of information, so you’re that much more likely to remember it. It also gives you all the information consolidated in one place. I like to split this up by topic (for me, each topic takes about 30 minutes to do) so that it’s more manageable.

This seems like a lot, and it is. But, you have to study and there’s no way around that, unfortunately. Try motivating yourself with small rewards (like food, stickers, or something fun) when you finish a topic.

When you finish that: Make charts and graphs for anything that requires charts and graphs.

The diagrams part is pretty self-explanatory. If you have diagrams, redraw them on their own sheet. This makes them less cluttered and you can write things like mnemonics on them without messing up anything else. Redrawing them is also great for muscle memory!

I also like to make charts of things that I need to memorize (this is a good tool, but isn’t always right for every subject). For example, if I need to know a lot of types of rocks, I’ll make charts listing each rock and its characteristics. This way it’s easier to find the information and (once again) muscle memory will help you out.

This can be done pretty quickly, and it’s a pretty brainless activity. It’s not hard to do, so you can do it while watching Netflix if you want to. I honestly enjoy this part, though, because I find drawing charts and graphs very satisfying.

About 3 days before: Make flashcards and study them consistently.

This is very important!

I like to use paper flashcards (just so I have to write the information once again), but digital ones work fairly well too.

Memorization is actually a fantastic tool to help with studying with mental health issues. Sometimes brain fogginess makes it hard to think of things that you know, but couldn’t recite. However, if you have it fully memorized, it’s generally much easier to pull out of the depths of your mind.

Once again, this is pretty easy to do (not quick though, sorry), and can be done while you’re doing something else more fun.

The day before: Go through your notes, annotate what you don’t know, and rewrite it until you know it.

This is the most important part of studying for me.

The evening before the exam, I go through every bit of my notes, charts, graphs, etc. and highlight what I 100% know.

Then, I take more paper (or often a digital piece of paper) and write out what I know, trying to focus my energy on finding ways to remember the information such as mnemonics, word associations, or the like.

I do this as many times as I need to until I feel good about how much information I have highlighted - I try to get to 85-90%, but that can vary by subject.

This is kind of tedious, but I find it easier to motivate myself since it is the final stretch. I’m also usually kind of stressed out about the exam by this point, so that works as a good motivator too.

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#studyblr #cptsd #depression #anxiety #mental health #mental illness #studying

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gluestickcherrybum · 4 years

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Studying from home

People take leaves of absences for many reasons, sometimes they just can't afford to study, a distant family member might need their company, an unexpected pregnancy might happen or they may have a medical condition.

Taking a leave of absence is a lot like a gap year where you stay at home while all your friends are out there getting an education. At first, it may seem lonely and depressing but it's a good opportunity to take better care of your mental health or whatever responsibility you have at hand, practice some quality self-care or taking up some projects you've always wanted to sink your teeth into.

Why

A little context to this post, I'm currently taking a leave of absence this semester as suggested by my academic advisor, persuaded by my university counsellor and signed off by my therapist since I was recently diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. Originally, I never agreed to take a leave of absence in the first place because I wasn't too keen on extending my studies and graduating late but as I was failing papers, stopped attending classes and using self-destructive coping habits to get by, taking a leave of absence was almost inevitable.

How It Feels

For starters, it feels rather lonely. I'm not someone that socializes a lot, but now that I don't have the luxury of having my few friends around when I need them it definitely makes all the difference. Life sucks when you don't have the liberty of choice. But on the other hand, it really does highlight who your true friends really are and who would actually care and worry about you without your presence in their lives. I hope I'm not being too vague, but I assume you can get catch my drift.

Benefits

Taking a leave of absence, besides the initial purpose can be very beneficial in many other ways

taking time for your mental health, preventing (or recovering from) burnout and resting

finding out who you are outside of school work (for me, university life is something that has occupied 90% of my brain and thoughts for the past two years, it's nice to take a break from it all)

getting some job experience and saving money

working on your general well being (exercise, sleep, healthy diet)

freedom from school if it helps...

time to do whatever you’ve wanted to do, any personal projects and stuff

trying new things, new hobbies, new interests?

How To Study

Since I'm going to start my fourth semester this September (i was supposed to start this February) I am advised to take this opportunity to catch up on my studies and try to get a head start on excelling in my repeated papers (there's four of them btw, and yeah depression really messes you up in the most inconvenient ways possible Σ(๑+⌓ o｡)シ) So being the so-called diligent workaholic that I was pre-mdd era, I made yet another intensive study plan ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ.

In my original timetable (that I would've used if I had continued my studies this sem) there are exactly 4 hours for each subject with seven subjects in total (all with 3 credit hours). So since weekends and weekdays are all the same for me, I divided my schedule to study 2 hours worth of 2 different subjects every day. I made sure that I wasn't learning the same subject in two consecutive days because it helps me to retain information for longer when the spaces between each revision isn't too long, and if unlike me, you have subjects more on the theory side and subjects more on the calculating side, be sure to have one of both each day so you wouldn't get tired from calculating for four hours straight or memorizing facts for four hours straight.

Be sure to obtain the study guides from your lecturer or classmates so you can keep up on when you are supposed to learn a topic and for how long you should be learning that topic. In my university, one semester has 14 weeks so I made a semester overview spread in my bullet journal with my weekly objectives for each subject as well as the dates of tests and quizzes.

Obtain study materials if your university provides them. I have really generous lecturers at my university that shares the lecture notes, slides and tutorials online that I can download and use. Also, a few past year papers are good too with answer schemes if possible. You can also ask your friends for the current test or quiz papers or any extra notes the lecturers provide in class. I always make sure I have this list of study materials:

Course Outline

Lecture Notes

Tutorials

Past Year papers

Answer schemes

A seperate online or textbook reference (from Youtube or the app Brilliant)

4. This step is mostly personalised and its the study materials that you yourself provide for your studies. For me its making handwritten notes from textbooks or lecture notes; flashcards for definitions and formulae from my handwritten notes, and blurting which is a little study method I learned from Unjaded Jade.

What To Do

Besides study, instead of cocurricular activities and club meetings and stuff, you have all that time to do other things that you or may not have the time to do them at university. These include:

learning a new language (I'm learning German)

Take up a part-time job or two or five.

Save up money

Backpacking or travel (if you can afford it)

Start a Youtube channel or a blog

Start a business

Volunteer

Take up yoga or meditation

do some mindful activities like journalling

write a song?

learn some new skills

binge-watch a new series

and so many more things ヽ(*≧ω≦)ﾉ

I hope this was somewhat helpful if there's anything you'd like to ask or you'd like me to add feel free to hit me up!

#gluestickcherrybum #studyblr #studygram #studyspo #studyinspo #studyinspiration #leave of absence #gap year #motivation #lookstudyblr

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allenmendezsr · 4 years

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Because I was too afraid to even try for higher paying jobs since I did not want anyone to know about my atrocious handwriting.

I turned down job advancement opportunities and going to job-related seminars… because this would require that I hand write forms to apply.

I was terrified to have anyone see my handwritten responses.

So with that said, if you have a similar problem and don’t like your own handwriting… then, I do know how you feel.

It’s a problem no one should have to suffer from.

I knew that my handwriting skills, (or should I say LACK of skills) were holding me back from the dream job I wanted.

When I failed to get promoted (for a new position I knew I should have got), I became very depressed and disheartened. My failure to be given this promotion made me wonder if my poor handwriting had something to do with it.

I knew I did not want to endure the humiliation being passed over again!

I had to find a fast, easy and low cost solution to improve my handwriting.

And it had to be something where I did not feel embarrassed doing either. (I didn’t want anyone to know of my handwriting problem, so I did not want to hire anyone to help me or go to a class where someone might see me.)

This left me with few options.

So I searched the Internet for a handwriting improvement course that didn’t cost an arm and a leg — or took a ton of time to do. I wanted something I could do in the privacy of my home. Sure there were lots of expensive self-improvement and job counseling courses on how to fill out applications — but that is not what I needed.

All I wanted was a simple handwriting course, like a mini-handwriting course.

I was on a budget and maybe you are too. The course had to be low cost and effective. And I didn’t have a lot of extra time to do it either, so it had to work right away.

Through considerable trial and error and using many programs that promised to fix my handwriting problem and did not deliver… I finally found one that did!

This helped me improve my handwriting skills

the first time I tried it.

Then as I continued following the simple steps my handwriting significantly improved so I was writing legibly and effortlessly — in only 1 week!

A couple of weeks went by… and I received another notice for another work-related seminar.

Finally (having practiced my handwriting over the last couple weeks), I felt confident enough to fill out the handwritten application and apply for the seminar.

The best thing is… I got a good comment from the boss when he found out I was going to attend!

My career was finally headed in the right direction!

Today, because of my success with improving my own handwriting, and I know you need handwriting help (since you are still reading this page)…I’d like to share my ‘how to master handwriting secrets‘ with you! You’ll find out…

How To Improve Your Handwriting

Right At Home!

That’s right; you don’t need any expensive schools, tutors or teachers. What I have for you is a complete and simple to follow handwriting improvement mini-course. This handwriting course will help you start writing better, and more legibly in just minutes — without a lot of frustration or taking hours of practice.

And you can do it in the privacy of your own home.

I promise…

What I have to share with you will…

Improve your handwriting in just minutes!

These simple and effortless genius of this new way of improving your handwriting is… so easy to do, you’ll wonder why you never tried it before!

The fact is, like most things in life, it’s easy to improve your handwriting once someone shows you how.

The simple handwriting methods are proven to work. They’ve worked for me and hundreds of other people (and even young children) who have tried it. Remember, these were people who hated their handwriting — and with the help of my handwriting mini-course, now they LOVE to write!

So what if you are not the person with the handwriting problem? Are you…

Looking for handwriting improvement

for your child?

Are you a worried parent who has received notes from your child’s teacher concerning your child’s poor handwriting?

If you have ever had to attend humiliating meetings about your child’s problems with their school work and handwriting skills then you know how frustrating this can be.

But it doesn’t have to be that way!

Many children have tried and improved their handwriting in just days with my mini-course.

Children are happy to use the low-stress, simple, and easy to follow handwriting improvement lessons. These lessons are fun for your child and you to do together. Your child can easily copy the handwritten letters in the full sized printable sheet, so practice is fun and they will be so happy to see their improved writing in their first try!

When your child uses the mini-course you will find your child’s handwriting improving in quickly and easily!

That would be a welcome relief and a load of worry off your back wouldn’t it?

Remember the lessons are really simple and easy to follow. I know a 5 year old child can follow the letter samples and write better. So I am sure your child is older that that aren’t they? So it will be no problem for them to use it too.

Then once their handwriting skills improve, they will be able to feel more confident and self assured in doing their homework and taking tests at school!

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Here are just some of the things you will discover in this unique handwriting course.

You’ll be amazed at how much your handwriting or your child’s improves after just the first try — once…

Find out what you are doing wrong…

Many of the people, who have used the mini-course, didn’t know what they were doing wrong. Once they knew and they corrected these minor problems, they told me, the simple things they had to change, they would

never have even thought of doing

And what is really unique about this new approach to improving your handwriting includes…

3 Simple Ways to write more legibly:

It’s An Easy Step By Step Handwriting Course…

IT IS AMAZING! You can follow the easy-to-understand and use methods by just copying the letters and numbers. I promise you can improve your handwriting within minutes of reading the book and following the first lesson!

I’m sure you’ll agree…

This Is Like Getting A Handwriting Tutor

For Pennies…

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This is the ultimate solution for improving your handwriting in the shortest time possible! The simple and easy to follow methods are proven to work no matter how bad you handwriting is now.

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You’ll be amazed at how much your handwriting improves after your first try. And it is…

Available to you now, instant download with everything delivered to you right away.

When you download this handwriting mini-course, you will find it is like having a private handwriting tutor guiding you through each handwriting problem you have, even if you are left-handed!

There’s a special section just for people who write left-handed as they have special problems that I will tell you about and help you to avoid.

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Everyone needs to write letters or emails in daily life. You can use this easy to understand guide to improve your letter writing so you look great with all your new and improved handwriting skills!

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Anyone can draw but not everyone can make good drawings! Beginning Pencil drawing is a skill you can easily master, when you follow the drawing lessons inside this guide. Practice makes drawing perfect but foundation on the theories and techniques in drawing paves the way for better drawings you’ll be thrilled to show your family and friends!

This guide is for beginning artists who would love to enhance their pencil drawing skills. Anyone who loves to draw can become a better artist by just following the teachings in this easy to follow guide.

This guide shows many beginner drawing skills including how to properly do perspective drawing. You can soon have a good foundation of pencil drawing skills. Find practical drawing, shading and image creation tips. All you have to do is download the book and then you can have fun with the step-by-step lessons and draw people, cars and animals!

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See what other people just like you had to say…

It feels so good to be finally able to write legibly!

“I am so glad to have finally found a guide on improving handwriting. I’ve had ugly handwriting ever since I can remember, and back in my school days I kept getting bad grades because the teachers could not read my handwriting properly.

I had given up on improving my handwriting, as I am now in my forties, but I’ve been following the advice in Master Handwriting diligently for a week, and my handwriting is definitely getting better!

I am very excited to keep practicing the tips you give in your book, cause I’ve been self-conscious about my handwriting all my life and it feels so good to be finally able to write legibly! Thank you!”

~Christine Pollard Los Angeles

_________________________________

For left handed people and I found one tip…

“Thought I owed you a thank you note! I’m left handed and my handwriting has been previously described as ‘chicken scrawl’…

I was glad to see that Master Handwriting has a section specifically for left handed people and I found that the one tip you gave about paper position immediately resulted in much better handwriting. I can’t believe I had been doing it wrong all along!”

~ Aaron Fisher Sacramento

_________________________________

…his teachers keep telling me that he needs to improve his handwriting.

“I bought Master Handwriting for my son as his teachers keep telling me that he needs to improve his handwriting. We’ve been doing the exercises you mention together and they’re actually loads of fun. Oh and his teachers have told him that his handwriting is getting better, and they keep writing him nice notes about it when they correct his essays!”

~ Emilie Aspray Switzerland

_________________________________…she had no problem reading my card!

“I have tried to improve my handwriting on my own in the past, without success.

It’s frustrating really; some people are just born with handwriting that looks like art while some of us are stuck with one that looks like we were having a seizure whilst writing! What annoyed me the most about my scrawl was when I’d be writing greeting cards – I love to write cards and I’ve been told I’m a very creative writer, but people just couldn’t read my handwriting.

They had to stop at almost every word and try to figure out what it was! Most of the time I opted to just type my message and print it out, but I feel that it takes away the intimacy of the message. I bought your book because it was the first one I’ve found on improving handwriting, though I must admit I didn’t expect much.

However, I was pleasantly surprised as the information made so much sense and I had never thought that things such as pen grip and feet placement can make such a tremendous difference on your handwriting.

I’ve been practicing using your tips every day, and my handwriting has improved to the point that it is not just legible but actually pleasing to the eye!

Last week it was my mother’s birthday and I wrote her card by hand…and…even though she’s at a blessed aged of 78, she had no problem reading my card!! Thank you, thank you so much!”

~ Ryan Pollyea Manhattan

I Want The Handwriting Mini-Course

and My Bonuses Too!

You need to download the handwriting course now… before the limited time bonuses disappear. Get your $34 worth of free bonuses right now! Heck, just the two bonuses, the ‘Master the Techniques of Letter Writing’ and ‘Pencil Drawing for Beginners’ are alone worth the price!

Remember…When I get enough people at this lower introductory price, (I have this at a lower price to gain more testimonials….) Then I am going to raise it to $37. So beat the price increase and save $20!

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Yes, Manuel I Want To Improve My Handwriting!

Just try it and see; you only have your bad handwriting to lose. Try it 100% risk free. You will improve your handwriting or I will send every penny you paid back.

Get the help you need, and start writing beautifully and legibly.

Here’s to helping you improve your handwriting and landing a better job, today!

Manuel Carter

Only $17.00

P.S. Remember you get my proven handwriting improvement course. Just try it!. Take it use it and improve your handwriting. That’s as simple as it gets!

P.P.S. Please read the testimonials above, I received recently from the people who have used my handwriting course to free themselves from worrying about how to improve their handwriting. After using the course people rave about their beautiful handwriting. That is what you would like to do isn’t it? So try it now!

P.P.P.S. Remember, you’re totally covered by my 100% no questions asked money back guarantee for a full 60 days… so you have nothing to lose!

0 notes

thumper-darling · 7 years

Note

all the writer asks? and can you use your current story for the blank ones?

1. Favorite place to write.

My most productive nights writing were spent in hotel rooms with cheap black coffee and terrible lighting. It sets a very motivating vibe.

2. Favorite part of writing.

Creating and developing characters. Character arcs?? are ?? my favorite??

3. Least favorite part of writing.

writing ™

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

Yeah, procrastinating for months. :’)

5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most.

Patrick Ness and Stephen Chbosky are pretty big idols of mine

6. Favorite character you ever created.

Cadence, she’s my hero

7. Favorite author.

Rainbow Rowell or Patrick Ness

8. Favorite trope to write.

Coming of Age Angst ™ and realistic development for the main character

9. Least favorite trope to write.

Love triangles or over-dramatic and non-realistic romantic interests.

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

I’d love to work with Chbosky and write a spin-off of Perks of Being a Wallflower, or like a potential sequel? That would make my actual dreams come true.

11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

In the beginning, I print off a million character questionnaires and fill out every detail about my main characters. It’s funny, because my characters always come first, and the story soon follows. After I know my characters inside and out, I think in their mindset for days and write down notes about things I for sure want to include in my story whether it be a plot twist or just a small piece of dialogue. Once I find the character’s voice, I feel ready to start writing the story.

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

I’m still not great with this, because I have a LOT of self-doubt, but I know that writing is what I want to pursue. I just remember that I have talent and I shouldn’t worry about the first draft because the first draft is almost always awful.

13. How do you deal with writers block?

I read. A lot. Reading helps spark ideas and un-stick my story.

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?

OH MY GOD. I would look at maps and historic timelines. I filled nearly 4-5 pages of a journal just with a timeline of events and it was lit.

15. Where does your inspiration come from?

Literally anything. That bench on the corner? INSPIRED. Pulling out of a driveway? INSPIRED. That sandwich looks tasty. INSPIRED. No, but in all seriousness I just observe my surroundings at all times and in an average day I can pull an idea out of something.

16. Where do you take your motivation from?

I just think of my future and what impact/ message I’d like to leave behind to anybody who reads my writing.

17. On avarage, how much writing do you get done in a day?

None. Writing isn’t something I can do everyday. Some days I’m more inspired and motivated than others. If I try writing when I don’t have the energy, it turns out forced and choppy. I let the motivation come to me.

18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?

I typically like to wait a week or two before re-reading and editing, that way I can have space from my writing. I do it gradually through out the story so I can draw potential ideas from what I have so far.

19. First line of a WIP you’re working on.

Version 1: “The shop had been empty for a little over an hour, and Charlotte was beginning to grow restless.”

Version 2: “Charlotte had a look of determination set in the furrow of her eyebrows and curiosity in the gleam of her eyes.”

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.

“Whenever Jordyn spoke, it was reminiscent of watching an old southern film. Her slight, hidden drawl was nothing less than soothing. Charlotte sometimes liked to picture her with obnoxiously tight ringlet curls and big, poofy southern belle dresses with frilly ribbons and lace. The thought brought a subtle snort from Charlotte.”

21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s.

Version 1: “He just followed his feet, and they lead him to her.”

Version 2: “His only response was a smirk before he opened the door to the back alley.”

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

At least a million

23. Single or multi POV, and why?

Single, I feel like it leaves for more mystery. That way the reader can interpret different POV’s for themselves.

24. Poetry or prose, and why?

Prose, rhyming isn’t my forte

25. Linear or non-linear, and why?

Depends on the story I’m trying to tell. Sometimes one way has more impact than another.

26. Standalone or series, and why?

Standalones are beautiful for some stories, but others simply must be more than just one book long. Some stories exceed one book.

27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

I share drafts with people I trust to edit or give me feedback.

28. And who do you share them with?

My friends that love stories.

29. Who do you write for?

Mainly for myself, but also for anybody that needs to hear the message my story can offer them.

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

“So, as a sign of letting go, I introduced my lips to his cheek and the sound of my skin meeting his was a melody playing a sweet goodbye.”

“Kissing him was like kissing air or water, it was so sweet and slow that it was a natural instinct to flow with it. However, kissing her was like fire because it was warm, inviting, and compelling, but had all the potential to burn him. Their love was like melting into each other, neither would make it out alive.”

31. Hardest character to write.

Side characters or the main character’s family. Because those characters are always important and meaningful, but I don’t want to write them only as a means of helping the main character. I hate flat characters and everybody deserves to have a story, you know?

32. Easiest character to write.

The sidekick ™

The one who always knows just what to say and how to say it.

33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing?

Only for specific scenes that music could really inspire me for. Like if I’m writing a sad scene and I’m not really in that head space, I listen to depressing ass music so I can understand the scene better.

34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?

Both. Here, have some of my notes.

Just some random dialogue drabbles:

“So, can I find you here often?” “Jamie…I work here.” “Oh, yeah, right. Of course.”

“There’s nothing beautiful nor poetic about being an asshole, Jenny. Calm down.”

“Listen, you’ll always be a jalapeno bagel and strawberry cream cheese to me, but I sort of feel like I should know your name by now.”

“Emma, have you ever been in love?” “I might have been. Then again, girls are easy to love, I’m pretty sure Jamie is a different story. If you want my advice Charlotte, date a girl.”

35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story ________.

The main character is named Charlotte Caroline Tillman. She’s named after the city and state(ish) that her parents met in. She has an older brother named Chance and a calico cat named Sally Mae. Charlotte goes to an Arts Magnet High School and she has a troubled history with her father, and a lot of the story is about her accepting things she cannot change. Her best friend, Emma, is v gay and v hot.

36. A spoiler for story _________.

Charlotte ends up leaving town and everyone she loves. All that’s left behind is a note and a phone number. She leaves her life behind. No closure and no goodbyes. She’s kind of a dick.

37. Most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you.

“That’s where you’re wrong. Everybody has a story, and every one is worth being told.”

38. Have you shared your outline of your story ________ with someone? If so, what did they think of it?

Lol no, my outline isn’t even finished homeboy

39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.

I usually base my side characters off of people I know or have met, even if only for a brief moment. For example, today at work I saw somebody and instantly knew that I needed her in my story. She is now the inspiration for my character Jenny.

40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?

Both are equally fun and important. Fanfiction is an amazing starting point for beginners, and it helps them write. However, original fiction is so raw and new that it could inspire future writers.

41. How many stories do you work on at one time?

Typically just one, but I always have other stories in the back of my head. I like to focus on one at a time though, that way I can keep characters and plot points straight.

42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc.

Well, like I’ve said, my characters come first. So based on whatever kind of story I want to tell, my character has to portray that. So I pick and choose different tropes and arc ideas that could impact the story even further.

43. Are you an avid reader?

I heckin’ try to be. Sadly, I don’t always get into stories easily.

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

I had an English teacher write a note on one of my writing pieces telling me that she knew I had talent and every teacher has one student where they think “That one…that one’s gonna be the one who makes it” I was that student for her. Oh, and my composition professor had my class read some of our writing pieces, and he told the next semester’s class about my writing. The next time I had him in class, he handed me a form for a writing contest.

45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

I honestly probably blocked it out. Idk, probably that I use too many commas? Or that one of my chapters was written in a passive voice.

46. What would your story _______ look like as a tv show or movie?

OH MAN! It would be great and I feel like a lot of the stories I write would be 100 times better on the big screen.

47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story?

Characters.

48. Favorite genre to write in.

Contemporary or science fiction

49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end?

The middle

50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.

A coven of teenage witches that were randomly selected to be given magic. Some of them became corrupt with power, and the others found good use for them.

51. Describe the aesthetic of your story _______ in 5 sentences or words.

Self love, friendship, denial, heavy, heartbreaking

52. How did writing change you?

It opened my mind to endless ideas and helped me grow. I often didn’t know what I was feeling until I wrote about it.

53. What does writing mean to you?

It means creating a million versions of yourself and turning it into a lesson or inspiration for other.

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

Don’t stop. There are so many things you have to tell the world, so tell them.

#ask

5 notes · View notes

letters-from-alex · 7 years

Text

Dear Friend,

June 5, 2017

I’m finally back home from my vacation. I got in yesterday from Austin with one of my friends over the weekend. The five hour drive was so boring. There’s nothing to see in Texas the more you travel south - no hills, no mountains, nothing. I almost fell asleep on the road. It was my fault because I didn’t sleep much the night before. I was up too late being a slut with my friend. Maybe I’ll tell you about my night with him... To be honest, it was one of the hottest nights I've ever had with anyone. I was really turned on by him - more than usual at least. I don’t know if it was because he has a girlfriend or because he was being more kinky than usual with me. There was so much dirty talk. I never realized how much I liked it until now. I guess I should keep trying new things. I was greeted by my mom as soon as I got home. When I arrived, I opened the garage and she immediately came outside to give me a hug. I don’t blame her - I was gone for two weeks after all. I unloaded all my luggage from the vehicle and walked into my room to unpack. That’s when I was greeted by my dad and my dog Zoey. My dad gave me a hug and said he missed me being here. I tried to give my dog Zoey a kiss, but she’s always a bitch. She wasn’t even excited to see me. She just cares about my dad.

Anyway, it felt really good to be home. I missed my parents and my dog (even though she didn’t miss me). I missed my friends - more specifically, Josh. I missed the smell of my house. I missed my own bed. I also missed the food here. I missed everything. I needed this vacation though. It made me let go of so many things - or at least it helped. I’m not so mad and angry all the time. And when I think of the people that aren't in my life anymore, it’s easier just to push those thoughts to the back of my brain and forget about them again. My problems were gone while I was away. It’s like I left them here. I spent so much money - money I don't have; I used my credit cards. I honestly did not care about that. Money comes and goes for me. And when I’m having a good time, it’s just easier for me to spend money and not care or worry about it. So, I’m glad I did this. I did a lot of reading, writing, and a lot of thinking. I took a lot of time to evaluate myself and think about what I need right now in my life - get my priorities straight. I had fun going out to cafes and parks and just reading with my friend Marie. I also wrote when there was a lot on my mind. For example, I wrote about my days with Marie - like things we did and how much fun we had. I also wrote letters to her and Keith. I did write one letter to Josh as well for his birthday. Lastly, I wrote a letter to Voldemort. I guess I had so much on my mind to tell him because my letter to him ended up being eighteen pages long - all handwritten. I didn’t write it in one night. I paused in between and it took me three days to write it. I wanted to make sure I said everything I needed to say to him. And the saddest part was that even though it was eighteen long pages, I still feel like it wasn’t enough. I updated him on my life and what was going on with me. I told him about my ex-boyriend not paying my (and his) car. And that he’s going out of the country for a few months and that I can’t rely on him or his mother anymore to be paying it. I was tired of getting so many letters from the bank. So, I told him that I took it away from my ex-boyfriend, and now I’m stuck with a car that I can’t afford. I think that was the only real problem that bothered me as soon as I drove up to my house and saw the car parked outside. A part of me just wished it was gone so I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. Well, hopefully that will be solved soon. I’m going to take it back to the bank so they can repossess it. Sadly, it’s the only option I have and I’m going to have to suffer the consequences that come with it - bad credit and getting sued by the bank to pay the difference of the note. Wish me luck. Hopefully this problem doesn’t drive me to depression again.

I told him where I was and what I was doing there. I wanted to make sure that he knew that I was safe. I don’t know why I felt the need to do this but I did. I let him know that I was happy and had been spending a lot of time with my friend; swimming, shopping, writing, reading, and watching television and movies. I told him how much I missed him. I had so much to say when it got to the part where I kept writing about him, him, and him. I wanted him to know how much I think about him. I wanted him to know how important he is to me; even now. I wanted him to know how hard it is for me to get over him. I needed him to know how much I still love him. It was so heartbreaking for me to spill all these thoughts to him. I let him know how angry I was and how much he hurt me. I also told him I didn’t deserve any of it. I just had so much on my mind. I let it all out. When I re-read the letter to myself, not even halfway through it, I started to cry. I couldn’t believe it; honestly... I had never cried over my own writing before this one. I could feel my own sorrow; my own hate; my own hurt; my own pain; my own misery; I could feel my own heartache. It was devastating. I had to stop reading it for a moment just so I could regain my composure. After a good few minutes, I finished reading my letter to him. I cried again during and after I read it. Marie was next to me while I did. She knew how much pain I was in and gave me a long hug and let me cry on her shoulder. I have to make sure I remember that moment forever. Because it was such a great feeling to have someone there for me when I really needed them; and she was.

I had to wait a few days to send the package to Voldemort because I finished it the night before memorial day, and the post office isn't open on holidays. I sent him - actually Marie sent him the letter with two gifts that I got him. I didn’t have the courage to actually get down to send him that stuff because I was slightly regretting it; I thought it was a crazy idea. But I knew it had to be done.

One of the gifts I sent him was this metallic looking glass with a logo of The Flash’s villain Zoom. It was black and gray with a metallic red on the inside. I found it at Spencer’s. To match it, I bought him a lanyard of the same logo. I thought it was cute gift to get for him since I bought him a wallet and a cap of Zoom a few months back. Now he has all these things to match each other. I sent this package last week to him. I checked the tracking on it - it was delivered to him on Friday. It is now Monday.... I still have not received anything from him. Not even a text saying thank you. Sigh. I honestly wasn’t expecting anything from him. I just did it for myself. And I’m glad I did because I think it really is helping me move on from him. I just wish moving on from someone was that easy... I’m trying to get over someone else that was important in my life. I’m not really upset with him, I’m more upset with the situation. He’s an old friend that I should start calling a stranger that is dating my ex-boyfriend. I don’t condone it at all. Mostly because this friend of mine led me to believe that he loved me more than him. I could tell that he was very infatuated by me when we first met. He was obsessed with my legs which I thought was very funny because I think that is the one body part that I hate the most about myself. But.... he loved them, along with the rest of my insecurities. I loved everything about him to until he hurt me. His name is Jesus. He lives in another country. I met him on Tumblr over a year and a half ago, then I met him in real life in December. Now, I don’t want to talk about old memories for they still hurt me and open up healing wounds, but I will say something that was haunting me even while I was on vacation. In total, I believe I had about six dreams about him while I was on vacation. Those days were the worst - especially when I had dreams with him and my ex-boyfriend together. But most of them were about him being here again and trying to talk to me and making me feel better. I can’t remember most of them but they weren’t significant. They were just mostly about us talking. I had three dreams about him three nights in a row. Then, the next day, my mom texted me. “Hey. Jesus sent you something in the mail today. It feels like a T-shirt.” My heart clenched. My stomach sank. My throat closed up. My blood raced. My head hurt. Why? I asked myself. Did he get me something for my birthday? Is it a gift from him? Or is he returning something to me? Maybe the shirt I gave him? Honestly, it could be that he returned a shirt to me. If he did, that would make me feel even more heartbroken. I want things to be okay between he and I, but I just don’t want to know where we stand anymore. I’m afraid to open the package. I told my mom to hide it from me. I don’t want to open it. Whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait. Even if it’s a few months. I just can’t open it now. It still hurts too much. I want to tell him thank you, but I can’t. I shouldn’t... After this incident happened, I had three more dreams about him. I think that was the only real problem that gave me anxiety while I was away. All the other problems just stayed here in my hometown. I’m just really happy that I had a great time. I cleared my head of so many bad things. I relaxed. I learned new things about myself. I spent time with friends. I let loose. I got drunk. I had fun... I mean... How could I not have had fun? I had sex with a “straight” guy. What are the odds of that? Now... I’m home. I’m finally home! Drinking a sweet lemonade and listening to Deadmau5. I can’t really sleep. My brain is too wired at the moment. I’m back to reality... Working, going to summer school, and doing my same old routine as before. I wouldn’t say my life is boring on a day-to-day basis, but I would say it can get a little crazy when I let it. I just hope nothing bad comes my way anytime soon. I was feeling depressed, worthless, and lazy before my vacation. Now I feel careless, adventurous, and happy! I almost feel content. After this weekend comes and goes, I will let you know what happens about my vehicle being repossessed. Incidentally, my birthday is coming up this week and I can’t wait to have more fun with my friends. I invited a few of them to a BBQ my parents are having for me. I hope everything goes well... I want to have a good time, be happy, and forget about everything. At least for one night. Love always, Alex

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authorkylehartman · 7 years

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New ask game for writers

1. Favorite place to write.

In a room alone on my laptop, however I’ve been poor lately and my laptop is broken, so I’ve been writing on my phone. I come to enjoy writing on my lunch break at work in my car.

2. Favorite part of writing.

It would probably have to be the world building as far as the villain is concerned and showing them off to the reader.

3. Least favorite part of writing.

Being distracted

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

Not really. I just do it. I used to have to take a bath and getting my mind working before sitting down are writing.

5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most.

There are things always being added to this list. First off, I’d be amiss to not mention that me having any sort of style is thanks to Micheal Creighton. I was always very creative and good at writing, but in 2009 I had read Next not long earlier and decided to write a story of my own that I am now embarrassed of.

Anyway, Max Hathorne who writes Kronos Rising was a huge influence. I might not write the same kind of science fiction as him, but the way he approaches things, including the villains and Kornosaurus/ Kraken inspired me to added scence in the Zoey series that center around the villain, lord Neball.

Neal Asher’s solid world and character building left me in awe as I read the Transformation series, this has inspired me to do a better job with those aspects.

George R.R. Martin has inspired me in similar ways, but also to not always be afraid to have to many characters. Sometimes it fits and works best with a series.

6. Favorite character you ever created.

Oh damn, that is a loaded question. On one hand I’ve got a character named Haley who is extremely depressed, abused and also has a lot of anxiety and some addictions. I don’t think a depressed character has been written to this extreme in a novel, at least that I can remember.

Zoey, is my first love obviously. She is the title character to the first series I ever started creating. The title character to an absolutely massive series. There is reason enough in that for her to be my favorite.

Randy would have to have a place high up on this list because he is the main hero for most of the Zoey series, I can’t give away why he isn’t actually. Though I highly enjoy his personality despite his life threatening flaws.

Hollie is a character in the Zoey series that comes in much later, but I quite enjoy her as well.

I also have a soft spot of a character named Eric in a store that is very nearly ready to be written, Let it Die. He’s the main.

7. Favorite author.

Micheal Creighton

8. Favorite trope to write.

I don’t feel I have one. Though sometimes I’ll be writing a scene and one will pop into mind and I’ll have to insert it somewhere.

9. Least favorite trope to write.

Again, I don’t have one. I don’t go out of my way, they just pop into mind.

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

Neal Asher would probably be my number one, especially since Creighton couldn’t happen. Obviously it would have to be a book that takes place in space. I think I might show him the small outline I have for a novel I have currently named Collapsing Universe.

11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

It depends. The Zoey series is a terrible example. For them, I really only do the plot of the novel, write down a description by chapter, sometimes it has to be tweaked during the writing process. It also isn’t very long. For a series that is typically 200 to 300 thousand words a book, the outline might stretch twenty pages. In comparison Cruel World has over ten pages for it’s outline and I don’t think it will hit sixty thousand words. Let It Die, a novel I haven’t put much pen to paper for, so to speak, I started with writing down a description for it. Then I detailed it out more with a chapter by chapter outline. Then I went and read through it many, many times and added on. The outline is over twenty pages for what will be a typical sized novel, 90 to 100 thousand words. Next is to do character details, though I will probably read through the outline before and after this step. Then I will start fleshing out the manuscript. After I finish that, I will read it and edit, read it and edit, read it and edit. (I’m a perfectionist.) Then I’ll have others read it and edit it from there. Then I’ll read it and edit it. Hopefully get a publisher behind it at this point.

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

I honestly try to ignore them. If I can’t I will actually read chapters that are about Lord Neball from the Zoey series. It’s still my favorite writing that I’ve ever done.

13. How do you deal with writers block?

Sometimes I will actually step back for a few days or a week or two and just read other peoples work. If nothing else it might inspire me to continue or give me a new idea.

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?

Zoey. I have probably put in three days worth of research just with the first novel which has gone through peer revision and now overhaul inspired by Martin and Asher. I’ve probably put in another twelve plus for the second book which sits at a thrid of the way done.

15. Where does your inspiration come from?

The desire to write. The desire to have someone read my work. To have someone say they got lost in the book and couldn’t put it down. I don’t care about fame or fortune. Right now I make roughly 2,000 dollars a month, if writing started doing that steadily, I’d quite my job and be happy with that for the rest of my life.

16. Where do you take your motivation from?

Reading. Either what others have published or what I have written.

17. On avarage, how much writing do you get done in a day?

I typically write about a thousand words. In a week it could be about ten thousand.

18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?

Hell. I’ll want so desperately to be done, but I go through my manuscripts over and over until I feel like it flows well enough and moves at the right pace, and everything else enough to share with others.

19. First line of a WIP you’re working on.

Haley lays under her covers in her room which is somewhere around seventy nine degrees. The only thing that is good in her opinion. She however is not sleeping peacefully. Laying on her side, her body is struggling with something that is not just in her head.

That is the first paragraph for Cruel world. The first line isn’t the most exciting, but I think the paragraph sets it up well.

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.

This one I must preface. Lord Neball has finally turned on those that thought of her as a slave and this scene has her with the leader, the one who had been keeping her as a slave until her evil side awoken. I love this because leading up to this you have seen how, sick, vile, twisted, and depraved Neball can be.

"This time, I'll let you finish," she whispers into his ear. True to her words she squeezes him as tightly as she can and feels him begin to finish inside her. Aliessense lifts herself back up to a sitting position on top of him. "I am no longer, Aliessense," she breaths fire through her hate filled words and Dalient opens his eyes. The most fearful expression crosses his face that she has ever seen, as he looks up at her. "I am Lord Neball," she bellows at him. I am Death, Dalient thinks. A blinding light fills the room and the last word is stuck on repeat. Death is what the word Neball means in their language. After a moment, the light disappears, along with his head. That is one wound Dalient will not suffer through.

21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s.

This is from Zoey: The Intergalactic Fighting Tournament (Second book). She is having a real tough time of things as of late and is about to figure out why, but that is actually in the next paragraph. It’s a very huge why.

"I know you are. I am far from angry with you. I'm worried. Admittedly I am afraid. Zoey, please, don't be afraid to tell me what is going on, if you have anything at all that you are hiding." Randy tells her, wrapping his arms around her. Not so oddly Zoey now feels safer and more relieved.

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

It depends. I can see Cruel World getting one or two drafts. Zoey, as longer books, I can see as many as five or six... or seven.

23. Single or multi POV, and why?

Cruel World is for the most part single, until the end of the second to last chapter and the final chapter. Zoey will end up having had ten plus. Let it Die, two or three. Departure is the first book in my Argoes series of four books. It will have one predominate one and maybe two or three others throughout.

24. Poetry or prose, and why?

I’m going to say neither, but I do do poetry, mostly from a dark place.

25. Linear or non-linear, and why?

I prefer linear, but sometime there might be so story lines slightly further along, thinking from Zoey. I don’t really use non-linear though.

26. Standalone or series, and why?

Both. Though I have more love for the stories that are a series.

27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

I don’t like to share until I’ve gutted my work with a chef’s knife.

28. And who do you share them with?

People who like to read. I don’t really know to many other authors.

29. Who do you write for?

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written. I like the lines that shatter either the readers mind or a character, though I can’t exactly think of a favorite line.

31. Hardest character to write.

Haley

32. Easiest character to write.

Zoey. She flows so well.

33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing?

Yes. Mostly Black Metal, but sometimes if something fits well, I’l switch it up for the scene.

34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?

Typed

35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story ________.

I can’t give away much about Zoey without revealing the entire mystery of the series.

Randy is not human. He is a species called Avant. He isn’t the most powerful Avant to ever exist. He actually isn’t even one of the most powerful warriors in the universe currently, but he is the most powerful protaginist in the series.

36. A spoiler for Zoey.

Zoey is a key to a lot of things. Much more than just say Randy’s hidden power. Far more significant things. Let’s just say that a certain creature that is bored and spans the multiverse more than knows of her.

37. Most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you.

”If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.” - Stephen King

38. Have you shared your outline of your story Depature (book one of Argoes) with someone? If so, what did they think of it?

My girlfriend. She liked it, but I had to overhaul half of the opening part of the book. She doesn’t really like love stories and it had a small one. Though I never wanted that to be much of the book. So it works better without it.

39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.

I have done so with one, but that was it. The character Grant Stewart in the Zoey series is based off a friend of mine.

40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?

Original Fiction. It’s more satisfying to create your own characters and world.

41. How many stories do you work on at one time?

I have been writing both Cruel World and Zoey this year, but more so Zoey for the last month.

42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc.

A lot of thinking and looking around. I have started trying to use the profile sheets that pop up on here to see how that works.

43. Are you an avid reader?

Yes, but I haven’t read a book in the last few weeks. Not since I finished Infinity Engine by Neal Asher.

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

Probably that my characters in Zoey are so exciting and relatable. I was told by a beta that they were excited for what was coming next while they read my original “final” draft of Zoey The Avant Rises.

45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

Hmm. not sure I remember. Anything that isn’t helpful I tend to forget about.

46. What would your story Zoey look like as a tv show or movie?

Probably similar to The Expanse or Defiance, but with more fighting and more time spent on Earth than there is with the Expanse. Also a lot more school settings at least at first. After the first few seasons, because a movie would be impossible. It wouldn’t have much for school scenes.

47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story?

Plot. The main character comes with that usually and I flesh out a outline with them and add characters from there and expand on the outline. Somewhere in there I usually get a story name.

48. Favorite genre to write in.

Science Fiction. Zoey, Argoes, Collapsing Universe are stories, the first two being series that I am working on or planning out that are Science Fiction.

49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end?

The beginning. except for Zoey, most everything comes pretty easy with the series, at least so far.

50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.

I once seriously considered one from a dream I had. There was a staircase that went all the way down to “hell” and there were wicked creatures at the bottom of the mile upon mile long staircase. (sounds like a Stephen King book)

51. Describe the aesthetic of your story Cruel World in 5 sentences or words.

Oppressively depressing and dark.

52. How did writing change you?

I have an obsession now. I also imagine far more then I should in my daily life. It gets me in trouble sometimes.

53. What does writing mean to you?

Everything. I can’t live without it now. Nowhere to jot down my ideas and stories would be devastating.

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

If you can handle going through the worst hell to get your story written then do it. If you can’t torture yourself, then writing isn’t for you. After that we can go from there.

#questions #questions for writers #this was fun

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personalcoachingcenter · 2 years

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Personal Development Tips Experts Use

New Post has been published on https://personalcoachingcenter.com/personal-development-tips-experts-use/

Personal Development Tips Experts Use

Helping yourself is an important part of your life planning. It needs to be planned in a way that you can accomplish all of your goals so that you can live the life you want to live. You need to research things that you can accomplish in your life. These tips can help you with that.

Expand your knowledge. By reading widely, you immerse yourself in other cultures, beliefs and fields of study. This leads you to appreciate your own place and to consider others less fortunate than yourselves. A proper sense of perspective, allows you to stop dwelling on your own misfortunes and can help you be content with what you have. This sense of contentment may improve your overall sense of self and happiness.

A great self-help tip is to simply acknowledge the past and move forward. A lot of people who are depressed or feeling down tend to block out certain things that have happened to them. You can’t live your life in denial. You need to accept certain things in order to move on.

Acknowledge your successes. We are often our own worst critics, making personal development a behemoth task for many individuals. Instead, focus on your successes, no matter how small they may be. Success adds up into greater things, and acknowledging a job well done is an excellent way to boost your self-esteem and motivation.

For those of us who are winners, organization is also important. You need to keep your work area clear and organized. Cluttered work areas can actually cause hazards that can make you fall or get an electrical shock. Keep your cords and systems organized, don’t leave the cords out for people to fall over. Likewise, with keyboards. Keep your books in one area, preferably drawers or cabinets. Most importantly, make sure that you don’t have overloaded outlets.

You need to be realistic with your to-do lists. If you have things on there that you cannot do in a day, then that will hinder the rest of your progression and probably make you feel disappointed in yourself. Be realistic and add things that you know you can achieve in a day. Keep it simple to get things done.

Develop a sense of urgency. When you are trying to improve any aspect of your life, procrastination is your worst enemy. The longer you wait to get started on a task, the less likely that task is going to get done. The first step is always the hardest; once you get started, you will surprise yourself with what you can accomplish.

Personal development is hard work, so remember to recharge your personal battery. Take time to be with yourself. Exercising is an excellent way to clear your mind of the stress of day to day life, and allows you to practice self-discipline. You’ll feel better about yourself and build greater endurance to get through your day!

Align your purpose in life with your true desire. This process can be boiled down to four simple questions: What do you desire to do? What are you able to do? What purpose should you seek? And what do you absolutely need to do? Alignment is difficult until you answer each of these questions and then act on each of those answers to bring these areas into balance and alignment with each other.

To improve on your personal skills, explore alternative forms of communication that you do not ordinarily use. If you usually rely on text messages, instant messaging, or email for a written word – try writing and mailing a handwritten note or card by snail mail. For a spoken word – use the telephone – instead of the help of a computer to communicate to someone and improve your one-on-one skills.

Help others whenever you can. Some of the most successful people in life are those who respect and help the people that surround them. Doing things that help to change people’s lives, even in the smallest ways, will make you feel good about yourself and cause you to be the kind of person that others want to be around.

You must be willing to see your goals through and attempt even the daily things that you find the hardest to do. Everyone looks at their “to-do list” and starts with the easy stuff. Begin with the harder tasks of the day, and you will find yourself growing immensely from this experience.

Everybody has principles and beliefs, but if you wish to live by them smartly, you must be able to explain and justify them. Perhaps some of these beliefs are a product of your education and are actually not helping you at all. Be aware of your principles and do your best to find explanations for them.

Helping yourself ensures that you want to change your life for the better and that you want to accomplish your goals. By learning what steps you need to take to get that life you want, you’ll be able to get there sooner. So, do yourself a favor and apply the above tips to your self-help plan.

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everythingbychoice · 4 years

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There is good reason to believe that people who cultivate thankfulness tend to be happier and healthier than those who don't.[1] Thankful people appreciate what they have instead of obsessing over what they lack. They express gratitude to others and often receive more gratitude in return as a result. They see each day as a new opportunity for happiness, rather than another challenge to struggle through. While some people may naturally be more thankful, don’t assume that you cannot nurture a more thankful perspective in your own life. It may not be easy, but you’ll be thankful that you made the effort!

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Being Thankful in the Moment

Take a minute to be thankful for your life. Sometimes a good way to get back on track and feeling better is to take a break. You'll need to identify things to be grateful for, and sometimes the break itself is a good reason to be thankful.

At work, school, etc., go for a walk around your building or step outside for 15 minutes to breathe the fresh air and muse about how thankful you are for the opportunity to take a break, to stretch your legs, to feel the sun, etc.

Take a moment to notice the little things you're thankful for, like your morning cup of coffee or your pillow when you lay down to go to sleep at night.

Tell someone you appreciate them. So often life gets busy that you forget to tell people how much they matter to you, or that you've noticed what they do and it means a lot to you. Expressing your thanks to others will cultivate an atmosphere of thankfulness that can spread out gradually. For example:

If your spouse packs your lunch for you, call or text them something like “Honey, I know packing a lunch doesn’t seem like much to you, but I really appreciate how you always try to make my morning just a bit less hectic.”

Talk about gratitude with family. Set aside a time, like the evening meal, to talk about the things you were grateful for that day. Let each family member have a turn to discuss what made them thankful that day.[2]

Make it a routine to go around the table and mention at least 1 thing you’re thankful for before digging in.

Try to be as specific as possible. For example, instead of saying "I'm thankful for all of you being there for me," you could say "I'm thankful that you all help me tend to the garden every weekend."

Send thank you notes. It is really amazing what sending just a small thank you note can do. A thank you note acknowledges that the person gave you something (time, effort, a gift) that they didn't have to and that you appreciate what they've done. You don't have to write a massive novel thanking them, just a few lines that let them know what they and their gift, time, effort, etc. meant to you.

Thank you texts, emails, voicemails, etc. are great to send (and receive), but there still seems to be something particularly special about a handwritten thank you note.

Your thank you note can be as simple as a post-it with a short message, or it can be written on a notepad with a flower or heart doodle.

Give back as part of giving thanks. Being thankful isn't just about telling people you are thankful — it's also about giving back to your community and friends. This doesn't mean that you give back so that everything is even and no one "owes" anyone anything. Give because it’s the right thing to do and because it feels good to do it.[3]

If you know the person, help them directly. For example, you could take your grandmother to her appointments or help your friend move into her new place.

If you don't know the person, continue their good work. For example, you could repay your college advisor by mentoring others.

Focus on the intention behind kindness shown to you. When someone does something nice for you — gives you a gift, brings you a hot meal, offers to read over and edit your thesis — focus on how they tried to bring something good into your life. Someone gave up their precious time, money, etc., just so they could do something kind for you.[4]

This focus cultivates an atmosphere of gratitude that is then passed on to other people through your actions and words, especially if you have children.[5]

Make sure to say “thank you” regularly. Thank the barista who makes your coffee, thank the person who held the door for you, thank the customer service person who helped you figure out why your phone wasn't working. Speaking the words aloud can help cement the feeling of gratitude in your life.[6]

Use the words "thank you" as a sort of prayer or mantra. You can thank specific things, or you can just repeat the words over and over to yourself. For example, you could give thanks for the food you ate this morning, the rain for watering all the trees, your rain jacket for keeping the rain off, and so on.

By cultivating gratitude (and by speaking it aloud), you can do things like ease anger, anxiety, depression, and other health problems.

When you say thank you to people, make eye contact and smile so they can feel the sincerity.

Find reasons to be thankful, even when it’s difficult. Sometimes it can be really hard to be thankful in your life. These are the times, however, when it is even more important to cultivate gratitude, because that will help you get through the hard times better than getting angry or upset will.[7]

To cultivate gratitude for something like a difficult or boring job, make a list of the good things about the job: it gives you money so you can buy food and have a roof over your head, it gives you a chance to take the bus into the city and see the early morning sun, and so on.

For something like a break-up or a death of someone you love, you should allow yourself time to grieve and be sad. Being grateful doesn't mean doing away with emotions like sadness, anger, etc. it simply means making them more manageable. After you've given yourself time to grieve, make a list of the things that you learned or are grateful for from the relationship, and then what you are thankful for about the relationship being over.

[Edit]Developing a More Thankful Mindset

Keep a gratitude journal. Record your reasons to be thankful each day in order to cement them in your memory. It doesn't matter how difficult your life is at the moment, there is always something to be thankful for. Finding that will help you deal with the other parts of life.[8]

Record about five things you're thankful for every single day. These can be things as simple as "the sun was shining," or they can be as big as "my significant other proposed."

Spend a little time each day reflecting on the things you're most grateful for. You may even find that you have more than five things you want to record.

If you need a little reminder, download a gratitude journaling app for your phone that will send you daily notifications.

Refer back to your gratitude journal as needed. When you're having a particularly difficult time, it can be beneficial to go back to what you've written previously. If it's a really hard time, find the smallest things that you can be grateful for.[9]

For example, even if you have a terminal illness, you can be grateful for things like someone bringing you dinner, a warm bed, or your cat snuggling with you. All these little things can make the trauma of the big thing (the illness) more bearable.

Get a gratitude buddy. Share your goal of becoming more thankful with a close friend or family member, and ask for their help. Choose someone you can comfortably talk to about the things you're grateful for. Also, make it a person who will hold you accountable when you go down the slippery slope of complaining about things.

It might work best as a two-way-street — that is, each of you helping the other to become a more thankful person.[10]

Turn around how you think about difficulties. People who are thankful for the things in their lives aren't living an easier life than you. In fact, many people who practice gratitude abundantly have struggled quite a bit. They, however, understand that it isn't the situation that's the problem, it's how you think about the situation that makes it easier or more difficult.[11]

For example, if you have to work in order to pay for college, you could think about how your work is teaching you responsibility instead of taking away free-time.

Use the right words to describe your life. Using negative language and labeling can make a situation more difficult, and make it harder for you to be thankful in general. For example, labeling it "my horrible illness" creates a more negative perception than simply saying "the illness that I have." In the second instance, not only are you not making the illness part of you, you are also utilizing neutral language, rather than negative.[12]

Include your gratitude in the words you use to describe your life. For example, you could say "Even though I have this illness, I'm thankful that I'm receiving wonderful treatment and that I have the support of my family."

Be positive about yourself and other people. Bashing yourself and others will make you less able to be truly thankful. When you find that you're thinking negatively about yourself or another person, stop and turn that thinking around. For example, if you think "I am so stupid when it comes to math," tell yourself "I am having some difficulty with this math problem" instead.[13]

A simple change in language and perception re-frames things so that the problem isn't you, it's that there is a disconnect between you and this problem. And that is something that you can overcome.

[Edit]Cultivating Thankfulness with Mental and Physical Health

Eat a healthy diet. Make sure you're putting food in your body that will help you feel good, which makes it easier to feel thankful as well. Go for veggies and fruits like kale, red peppers, and bananas; good carbohydrates like brown rice, whole grains, and oats; and proteins like salmon, nuts, lean meats, and eggs.

Moderation and variety is important. Your diet shouldn't solely consist of fruits and veggies; you need protein and good carbs too.

Be sure to avoid refined sugars and added salt as much as possible.

Stay hydrated by drinking lots of water. Water is a necessary component to making sure every part of your body and mind runs smoothly. Take sips regularly, and drink before you get thirsty.

Be thankful every time you can turn on the tap or open a bottle and have fresh, clean water to drink. Keep in mind that millions (perhaps billions) of people around the world don't have this luxury.

Don’t skimp on the amount of sleep you get. Sleep is a huge component of healthiness and happiness, both of which make it easier to be thankful. While it's certainly admirable to practice gratitude even during those sleepless, anxiety-fueled times in your life, getting enough sleep can help make thankfulness easier to cultivate.

Set a consistent bedtime and wake-up time, create a comfortable sleeping location and a calming bedtime routine, and turn off all electronics well before bedtime.

Follow a regular exercise routine. Exercise releases happy chemicals like endorphins, which help to regulate your mood and make you feel better. And feeling good is both a reason to be thankful and a motivator for practicing gratitude.

Try to get at least 30 minutes of exercise each day. This can be something as simple as going for a run, putting on some music and dancing, or doing some yoga.

Meditate regularly. Meditation is another useful way of dealing with mental health issues and a general sense of malaise in your life. It can also help to support your thankfulness and gratitude practices.

Go somewhere quiet and meditate for at least fifteen minutes each day. Sit comfortably and take deep breaths. Focus on your breath. When errant thoughts demand your attention, acknowledge them and let them go when you exhale.

Practice mindfulness. By remaining in the moment, you are making it very difficult for your brain to race ahead and worry or plan for the future, or become bogged down in the past. This is one way of practicing thankfulness, because you are immersing yourself in the present, and thereby giving thanks to the "now."

Practice mindfulness while you eat. Focus on the food that you're putting into your mouth: Is it hot or cold? What is the texture? Is it sweet or sour or salty?

Try this while going for a walk, or simply sitting outside. Notice the color of the sky and shape of the clouds. Use your nose to locate any scents, and listen to the wind in the trees.

[Edit]Tips

Remember, sometimes you will have bad days, where you're grumpy and dislike everything. That's okay. Don't beat yourself up because you aren't constantly floating along in a bubble of gratitude. That may be the goal, but no one's yet reached it.

Just because you learn to be thankful doesn't mean that bad things won't happen, or that you won't be affected by the things that do happen. It can simply help to make the things that happen easier to deal with and not as taxing for your mental health.

You can't always control what happens to you, but you can work on controlling how you respond to things.

Thanking people for the little things they do for you (at least once in a while) helps others feel appreciated too. A little gratitude can go a long way in making someone's day, and that can help you feel better too.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

Stop Feeling Like Your Life Isn't Good Enough

Be Happy

Be Optimistic

Be Thankful

Practice Gratitude

[Edit]References

↑ http://www.psy.miami.edu/faculty/mmccullough/gratitude/Emmons_McCullough_2003_JPSP.pdf

↑ https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Community/Pages/12-Tips-for-Teaching-Children-Gratitude.aspx

↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/12/28/6-ways-to-cultivate-gratitude/

↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/gratitude/definition

↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/application_uploads/Wood-TraitAndStateLevelsGratitude.pdf

↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201504/7-scientifically-proven-benefits-gratitude

↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_gratitude_can_help_you_through_hard_times

↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/11/19/12-ways-to-be-thankful/

↑ http://www.superherolife.com/2012/12/find-a-gratitude-buddy/

↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-change-your-perspective-and-overcome-your-challenges/

↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950?pg=2

#EverythingByChoice

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ncmagroup · 5 years

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How to Encourage Gratitude in the Workplace

For many people, “thanks-giving” is a tradition that happens around the dinner table once a year. But research suggests that leaders should encourage gratitude in the workplace year-round.

The Science of Gratitude

Gratitude can be defined as a positive emotion felt after receiving something valuable. And science has shown that people who are grateful feel happier. They have an improved sense of well-being, higher self-esteem, and experience less depression and anxiety. They also sleep better. And one study even found that differences in levels of gratitude are responsible for about 20% of individual differences in overall life satisfaction.

According to researchers, gratitude is powerful because it is a complex social emotion. In other words, it’s an emotion that makes us think about others. We can’t be grateful that someone went out of his or her way to help us unless we stop and think about the situation from the other person’s perspective. It’s little wonder that gratitude has also been linked to oxytocin — the hormone associated with social bonding.

The Gratitude Gap in the Workplace

Despite its compelling benefits, expressing gratitude doesn’t always happen at work. One study found that while about half of people regularly say thank you to their family members, only about 15% of people regularly say thank you at work. The same study found that 35% of people say that their managers have never thanked them. This muted expression of gratitude in the workplace compared to other contexts can be thought of as the “gratitude gap.”

Yet a recent Glassdoor survey found that 80% of employees say they would be willing to work harder for an appreciative boss.

These statistics suggest that leaders who encourage gratitude in the workplace are likely to reap the benefits of a more engaged and productive workforce — as employees who practice gratitude even take fewer sick days. And at a study conducted at a fundraising center, calls were boosted by 50% after a director thanked employees for their work.

So why is there a gratitude gap in the workplace? Wharton Business School professor Adam Grant believes it’s because people don’t like to admit they need help at work, and thanking someone means admitting you couldn’t do it all on your own.

Gratitude Helps You Thrive in the Face of Change

In the workplace, gratitude is particularly important during times of change, precisely because change cannot be done alone.

Today’s constant change — and the resulting chronic stress — requires leaders to increase their “3 Cs” — communication, collaboration, and commitment. Lack of communication and trust makes it hard to create a shared vision and lowers the odds of successful change implementation.

Because gratitude is a complex social emotion, it draws people together in pursuit of a greater vision. For instance, in the fundraising center study, self-reported data showed that callers didn’t make more calls because they felt more confident or more effective. Instead, they made more calls because they felt an increased sense of social worth — feeling valued by others.

How to Be More Grateful

Ready to reap gratitude’s many benefits? Luckily, you don’t need any fancy tools or advanced degrees. Here are 3 simple exercises that have been scientifically proven to boost your gratitude levels.

Send a note expressing your gratitude. Research shows that writing a letter thanking someone for the positive impact he or she has had in your life is a great way to boost your gratitude. Or, send a text, if you prefer. Take out your phone right now (if it’s not out already), and send a simple text to someone you’re grateful to have in your life and let them know that you are thinking of them.

Keep a gratitude journal – or even just a list. Gratitude journals are popular these days and for good reason. Keeping a journal of people and things for which you’re grateful can increase your feelings of gratitude. If you’re not the journaling type, don’t worry; research shows that making a short list works, too. Some research suggests that a short list once a week might actually be more effective than doing it daily. Just jot down 3 things you’re grateful for on a Post-It note. Stick it somewhere you’ll see it often, and refresh it weekly. (Some people even create gratitude jars for this purpose, like these from our office in San Diego.)

Take time for reflection. Research has also found that simply reflecting on the many aspects of your job — large and small — for which you’re grateful can boost gratitude levels. These might include supportive work relationships, sacrifices or contributions that others have made for you, advantages or opportunities, or gratitude for the opportunity to have your job in general. Going on a short “gratitude walk” is a great way to take a timeout for this reflection. If you’re feeling inclined, repeat the exercise and think about the many aspects of your life for which you’re grateful (family, friends, hobbies, etc.).

How to Increase Gratitude in the Workplace

Boost worker engagement and productivity – as well as satisfaction and health – by increasing gratitude in your workplace. Here are 4 ways to help encourage gratitude in the workplace and foster more thanks-giving year-round at work:

Offer thank-you cards. During his tenure at Campbell Soup, then-CEO Doug Conant wrote 30,000 handwritten thank-you notes to his employees. This practice, along with others, has been credited with how he created a culture of gratitude and turned around a struggling company. Do 30,000 letters seem daunting? Take a page out of Mark Zuckerberg’s playbook and aim for just one a day. To encourage others to do the same, emulate Starbucks and offer unlimited company thank-you cards for employees to use.

Make a gratitude wall. Create a designated space for employees to share shout-outs and words of thanks. This can be a wall, a whiteboard, a flip chart in a common area…be creative! A public, anonymous display of gratitude is a great way to introduce gratitude into the workplace culture and keep employees feeling appreciated.

Start meetings with gratitude. A simple way to cultivate gratitude at work is to begin meetings by sharing a short statement of appreciation (remember the difference this made in the fundraising center study!). Or, if you want to take this approach to the next level, try having everyone in the meeting share one thing they’re grateful for — it makes a great icebreaker.

When things go wrong, count your blessings. It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well. But gratitude can have an even bigger impact if you’re going through a rough patch. So, next time something goes wrong at work, see if you can find the silver lining. What did you learn from the experience? What opportunity did it offer you? Share these insights with your team. Being able to be truly grateful during times of challenge and change is a great way to stop negative rumination spirals and get people motivated and energized.

Get Great at Gratitude

Encouraging more gratitude in the workplace (like any other initiative) is prone to fail if you just go through the motions. Here are 4 tips for expressing your gratitude in a more impactful way:

Be grateful for people, not performance. Sometimes, gratitude initiatives can feel like old recognition programs warmed over. To avoid this feeling, focus on social worth and think about how people have made a difference. Give thanks for people’s willingness, enthusiasm, commitment, or efforts — not their impact on the bottom line.

Customize your thanks-giving. Practicing gratitude requires thinking about how specific people like to be thanked, and tailoring your gratitude accordingly. Thanking a very shy person at the global quarterly meeting might come across more like punishment than recognition.

Be specific in your gratitude. Saying “thanks for being awesome” doesn’t have the same impact as “thank you for always getting to meetings 5 minutes early to set up the projector; I know that our meetings wouldn’t go as well if we didn’t have you.”

Don’t fake it. Authenticity and vulnerability are key parts of gratitude. If you can’t think of anything you’re truly grateful for, don’t try to fake it. Most people can tell when thanks aren’t heartfelt, and fake gratitude is probably worse than none at all.

Lastly, research shows that whether you’re an absolute novice or gratitude guru, everyone can reap the positive benefits of giving and receiving thanks. So, get out there and start encouraging more gratitude in the workplace!

Go to our website: www.ncmalliance.com

Giving Thanks Will Make You a Better Leader How to Encourage Gratitude in the Workplace For many people, “thanks-giving” is a tradition that happens around the dinner table once a year.

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sickeninglysweetbrainmatter · 5 years

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i’m just gonna go ahead an answer all of these because no one talks to me on here LOL

1. Favorite place to write. In my house at night with no one around.

2. Favorite part of writing. That feeling when things come together perfectly and organically.

3. Least favorite part of writing. THE EDIT

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals? I put on some music and look at a few pictures sometimes

5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most. I like to think my style is my own, but I read a lot of Garth Nix and Darren Shan

6. Favorite character you ever created. I don’t think I have a favorite honestly.

7. Favorite author. Garth Nix

8. Favorite trope to write. The hero has to save the world, and love triangles. I use both in my main book but that love triangle really isn’t a triangle??? More like a, “Oh well we can work this out together” kind of thing.

9. Least favorite trope to write. The, “We have to break up because i’m going across the world and you’ll never see me again, but whoops I’m just gonna get off this plane and go live with you forever now and give up on my dreams” one.

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about. Stephen King, and it would be a demon based horror thing but it’s in my head now and too long to write out lol

11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish. Starting is an idea, I don’t storyboard at all. I write whatever comes to mind until it’s done and then work on the timeline from there and just pray everything matches up. Editing 15000000 times comes next and never publish because of anxiety

12. How do you deal with self-doubts? LOL I DON’T

13. How do you deal with writers block? I frequently stop writing for months at a time because of depression train so...

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book? I haven’t done a lot honestly. My main is fantasy ish kind of sci fi so I make everything up on my own.

15. Where does your inspiration come from? Music helps a lot but almost 95% my head

16. Where do you take your motivation from? I don’t have a lot of motivation, but it comes in bursts when I read or play a game with a story I get really invested in.

17. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day? When I focus, 5 to 10 thousand words if I don’t have work and I’m motivated. I don’t write often, so I can’t be sure of an average.

18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like? Pain. I use Grammarly to help with the spelling and tenses sometimes.

19. First line of a WIP you’re working on. Michael held onto Ed’s hand tightly as they stepped across the cracked soil.

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.

Nate looked up from his paperwork and put down the quill he had been scribbling with. The grey eyes looked on, somehow soft while his position was one that demanded respect. Hands held together in front of him, Nathaniel waited for him to speak.

“Are we going to talk about this anytime soon, or may I continue with my work?” Nate's voice was deep but as gentle as the look in his eyes. He was not being harsh or haughty like Sam thought he would be.

“I'm attempting to figure out where to start. It's not working very well.”

“You're upset with me.” He could feel Nate's eyes run down his body, obviously looking at how tense Sam was.

“I don't want to be. Give me a reason to not be.”

“I treated her very well.”

“That is the least she deserved.” He spat venom. She deserved everything. She deserved to be alive right now.

Nate broke his facade for a moment, chewing on his fingernail.“I loved her so deeply she could have drowned in it. I gave her everything. She had the world at her feet and I took over everything so she could enjoy the time she had. She was my everything and I had to watch her die so don't you dare act like I'm the one that hurt you.” He looked so arrogant, rising from his seat and looking up at Sam.

21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s. The bed was beckoning for him to relax for just a tic, but sleep’s embrace found him before he could rise.

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you? A LOT

23. Single or multi POV, and why? I do a lot of multi because I feel like it fleshes out my world better.

24. Poetry or prose, and why? Honestly, I think both have their place and I don’t have a preference.

25. Linear or non-linear, and why? I write fairly linear but I like both. I write that way because it’s easier for me to track.

26. Standalone or series, and why? SERIES I love really good characters and I want closure!

27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? I share rough drafts, but prefer polished

28. And who do you share them with? Eh no one really. I used to post online but idk

29. Who do you write for? Myself and only myself

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written. Not many lines, but I have favorite chapters and paragraphs. This might be the favorite line just because of who it was and what it signified. He tasted her as if she were water and he the desert, soaking her in to grow droves of flowers pushing through the cracks the heat had formed after years of the clouds' neglect.

31. The hardest character to write. The villain! I have terrible issues writing villains.

32. Easiest character to write. Ones like me, emotional and angry.

33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing? YES

34. Handwritten notes or typed notes? I have both lol

35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story ________. Beneath: Geoff can’t be a runner for the guild because he’s easily recognized by the scarring on his face from a house fire set by the guards throwing Molotov cocktails. The scarring is on his hand as well and it’s affected the use of it, which he does his best not to show.

36. A spoiler for story _________. Beneath: Michael does see Sofia again.

37. Most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you. A few but right now, “Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” - E.L. Doctorow

38. Have you shared your outline of your story ________ with someone? If so, what did they think of it? I have spoken about it a little, and most people seem interested.

39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one. I don’t.

40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why? BOTH! Some fanfiction has been the best stories I have read and I’d give them to my friends if they didn’t think I was a freak for the pairings LOL

41. How many stories do you work on at one time? Right now, 1 series of 3 books and 2 shorter things.

42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc. They just come together naturally. If someone is standing in the light I try and feel what that might look like depending on who they are as a person. Emira has bouncy natural hair because I made her to be like the water that she loves and I feel like curly hair really suited her.

43. Are you an avid reader? Yes!

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. That it wasn’t bad LOL

45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten. That it read like a weeaboo thing? Still doesn’t make any sense to this day honestly. The dude was mad I wouldn’t kiss him and thought writing something bad would hurt me, which it would have if it made any sense.

46. What would your story _______ look like as a tv show or movie? Beneath: A weird fantasy with a lot of crying hahaha

47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story? Plot normally

48. Favorite genre to write in. Fantasy

49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end? Beginning.

50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had. Dude is stuck in a lucid dream but doesn’t know it’s a dream.

51. Describe the aesthetic of your story _______ in 5 sentences or words. Grimy, kind of steampunk but not really, more like there’s technology but only one person has any and everyone else is all stuck in the old days

52. How did writing change you? It provides an outlet but hasn’t changed me much. I’ve been writing since I was 11, long drawn out stories so if it’s changed me I haven’t noticed.

53. What does writing mean to you? Creativity and love

54. Any writing advice you want to share? Don’t be like me. Just write. It’ll come, and you’ll finish and be so proud.

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albertcaldwellne · 7 years

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Why Your Gratitude List is Selfish

Articles scatter the internet teaching you that having a gratitude list will make you happier.

And gratitude is great…up to a point.

There’s an element about gratitude that’s been grossly overlooked by self-development gurus everywhere. This article will talk about that, but let’s start with how you can instantly improve your current gratitude practice by highlighting what is missing in almost everyone’s gratitude list.

WHY Are You Grateful?

The other day, my mom told me that she and my dad had joined a book club. (Can we all just say a collective “Awwwww” for the cuteness here!)

The first book that they’re reading is Be Happy by Robert Holden.

One of the big lessons in this book is to write WHY you are grateful for something. There’s a big difference between having a running list of things you appreciate – your home, your friends, your dog – and saying why you appreciate those things.

I’m grateful for my home because there was a time when I could barely pay rent. Now, I live in this gorgeous house that is a testament to my determination, persistence, and accomplishments.

I am grateful for my best friend because every time we talk I feel like I’m a better person because of her advice and understanding.

I’m grateful for my dog because…well, he’s a dog and dogs are the best. Period.

Make your gratitude list more than a role call for what is good right now. Don’t just jot one item down and move on to the next.

Gratitude doesn’t exist without knowing WHY you’re grateful.

Without the why, a gratitude list is more like a “nice things I noticed today” list.

Bonus Level of Gratitude

James Altucher is one of my favorite writers and speakers.

You know how people say, “Don’t meet your heroes”? Well, that doesn’t apply to James. We met and he was kind enough to talk with me about my book one day over coffee and I’m happy to say that he’s just as kind, straightforward, and intelligent as you think he is.

When I last saw James speak, he made a great point about gratitude that I started incorporating in my life.

James encouraged the audience to find ways to be grateful for the difficult times or the not-so-obvious things in your life.

It’s easy to be grateful for your dog and your kids, but what about being grateful for the client that you just lost? Or finding gratitude in that difficult conversation you had to have with your spouse?

This isn’t about looking at the world through rose-colored glasses or gritting your teeth into a forced smile. This is about training your brain to actively CHOOSE the meaning you give to circumstances rather than being a victim to negative, depression-inducing thoughts.

I’m grateful for the difficult conversation with my spouse because I practiced honest communication. It felt good to openly speak about my needs and I’m proud that I also listened to his/her needs as well.

Finding gratitude in the lessons learned in difficult times is more meaningful than being happy that flowers are pretty. Why Your Gratitude List Is Selfish

And now we have come to the meat of the matter. This is the lesson that inspired this article.

Feeling grateful is nice, wonderful even. You get all those ushy-gooshy happy feelings when you sit in your cozy bed in your cozy clothes as you write your list. And then you put the list down and feel good about yourself and your life. That’s lovely. Truly.

Next time you look at your list, I’d like you to notice the names of the people that you wrote down–the ones you’re grateful for. Mom. Dad. Boyfriend. Friend. Mentor. Coworker. All the people who’ve added something to your life. They made enough of an imprint that they have an honored spot on your gratitude list.

So my question is…

Do they even know that?

Do those people even know that you are grateful for them? More importantly, do they even know WHY you’re grateful for them?

Have you expressed your gratitude OUTSIDE of your gratitude list?

I’m going to tell you a sad truth that will hopefully convince you to share your appreciation more often.

Do you know why con-artists are so successful in victimizing people?

For the con-artist who plays the long con–developing a relationship with their victim for a higher “take” than a quick con–they know that the quickest way to earn the favor of their victims is to show them appreciation and recognition. The con-artist can easily and quickly endear him or herself to the victim by making them feel seen, feel heard, and feel special.

Do you know the first person that an intelligence officer will try to turn into a spy?

It’s the person who feels under-appreciated and undervalued by their company or government.

It’s the person who has been unseen and unnoticed. An intelligence officer is happy to approach this person and get them to share classified information, because the officer knows that the crave to feel seen, feel heard, and feel special…and the officer can provide.

People are so starved for appreciation that they accept it from the most toxic sources.

So, how great is that gratitude list now?

By cloistering your gratitude between the covers of your journal, you are still starving your loved ones from something that they desperately desire.

We Can Do Better

Here is your challenge, if you choose to accept it. And, no, this message will not self-destruct in 5 seconds.

In fact, this message will stay up here and if you know someone who loves self-development and is into gratitude journaling, I encourage you to share this with them. This will take their (and your) gratitude to a higher level, making the world just a little bit better.

Here we go.

Every day, find 1 way to express your gratitude to someone.

Tell ONE person what you appreciate about them. Tell ONE person why you appreciate them.

ONE person. Each day.

Tell someone why you appreciate them:

To their face

On the phone

On a video call

In an email

In a handwritten letter

On a facebook post you tag them in

With a gift (with a card)

In skywriting

Whatever works for you

Start easy and share your appreciation with the people that you love. Just remember, it’s more meaningful to say WHY you appreciate them not just, “I appreciate you.”

After some time, I urge you to stretch yourself and tell someone you’re not close to (or even someone you don’t get along with) why you appreciate them. Who knows, it could shift the dynamic of the relationship.

It’s Important to Note:

You are not giving that person your appreciation SO THAT they will respond in a certain way.

You are not sharing your appreciation in hopes of getting appreciation in return.

You are not expressing your gratitude in order to trigger any comment or behavior from them.

You ARE expressing your gratitude and appreciation to express your gratitude and appreciation. That’s it.

You may get a lovely response from people. You may not.

You may improve a relationship. You may not.

Their response is not a part of the equation in this exercise. The point of this is to take your gratitude out into the world and not leave it in your journal.

Who knows. Maybe if more of us expressed gratitude and appreciation to others then maybe it will feed their souls with just enough sustenance that they won’t seek to be fed false appreciation from dysfunctional places.

Sharí Alexander has studied the art of influence from CIA agents, hostage negotiators, trial attorneys, con-artists, pick-up artists, and now she wants to help you use these secrets to be more prosperous and successful in your business.

Click here to get your FREE copy of Sharí’s Mindreader Blueprint and start influencing someone today.

The post Why Your Gratitude List is Selfish appeared first on Roman Fitness Systems.

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almajonesnjna · 7 years