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kasagia · 7 months

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Would've, Could've, Should've...

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/Darkling x heartrender! Kaz Brekker's sister! reader Summary: Your life would have been completely different if it wasn't for Aleksander. You regret meeting him... but saints only know that he is the one who can make you feel this way... Warning(s): angst, death, blood, violence, manipulation, falling in love with the wrong person, toxic love, Aleksander is a little manipulator and the reader enters his web, the reader rebels, they love and hate each other, kind of dark! reader? Inspired by "Would've, Could've, Should've" - Taylor Swift SPECIAL FOR 10K LIKES AND 500 FOLOWERS 💙🖤 Thank you once again!! Words count: 11,6k+ Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @morrigan-crowmwell ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~

If you would've blinked then I would've Looked away at the first glance If you tasted poison, you could've Spit me out at the first chance

You were a thief and a paid killer. In Ketterdam you were known as the sister of Dirtyhand, Dreg's second bastard. But that was before you met him... or before you were commissioned to kill him.

You were in a bind then, a messed-up situation. Your elder brother, Jordie, died, and your younger brother, Kaz, was your dependent. You both had to work hard to earn money for food and a dry (but often cold) place to sleep.

That's why you packed up. You left your brother with the promise to return and provide him with a place to stay while you were away. You exchanged as many letters with him as you could. You learned that he was doing well in Ketterdam, slowly becoming the head of one of the most important gangs. You helped him build his "empire" as much as you could, travelling around the world and making money by killing your targets.

But everything went to hell and your life changed completely on the night of a winter fete in Ravka.

You had a very simple task.

Disguised as a servant, you were to deliver the glass with poison to the Darkling, mingle with the other servants, and leave. None of the nobles ever paid attention to the service. Especially when you cover your face with makeup, making it look so dull and ordinary that no one will remember it.

But Darkling was different... you were supposed to find out about it soon.

Everything was going well. You walked over to him and handed him a poison glass, avoiding eye contact with him. But as you walked away, glancing discreetly to see if he raised his glass to his lips, you noticed he gave you a second glance.

You shivered.

He stared at you intently without even blinking. You felt mesmerized under his gaze, like you couldn't take your eyes off him even if you tried... but you didn't even want to try to save yourself from the gaze of his dark eyes.

And just as he was about to raise the cup to his lips, a commotion ensued around you. One of the paid hitmen you worked with has been identified.

The general threw down his glass and gave chase to the hitman. You took this opportunity to run out of the ballroom unnoticed.

You were lucky the general didn't drink the poison after all. If he did, it would be harder for you to leave Ravka and go back to your brother, since you all got disclosed.

In retrospect, you'd rather he'd drank that poison... maybe he'd have gotten rid of you at that first night.

If I was some paint, did it splatter On a promising grown man? And if I was a child, did it matter If you got to wash your hands?

You ran through the corridors until you bumped into one of the people who worked with you. You were breathing heavily from running from the pursuers of the First and Second Army.

"These Grishas dogs are everywhere. They caught Kostrov. We have to get the fuck out of here before their crazy Black General catches us too."

"Kostrov is caught? Shit. He'll turn us in before we leave the walls of this damn palace." you knew very well that if that was true, it was only a matter of time before the man revealed your hiding places. You must run away from there. And as soon as possible.

The voices of the soldiers and their quick steps rumble around you.

"Please tell me you have a plan."

"I always have a plan." you answer confidently and take her by a hand. You lead her through the corridors of the Little Palace until you are outside.

You are heading towards the exit gate when Grishas suddenly appear in front of you. You both stop, looking uncertainly in their direction. Fortunately for you, your disguise makes them a little less suspicious.

"You, get back to the Grand Palace. It's not safe here, servant." they said to you. "You're coming with us." they say, taking your co-worker by the hand.

They drag her towards the Little Palace, but she doesn't give up that easily. She breaks free from their grip, hugs you from behind and puts a dagger to your throat.

"One step closer and I'll kill her." Grishas' joined hands, ready to use a small science. You feel her dagger pierce your neck gently. Blood drips onto your collarbone just like the drops of your sweat. From this position, you can practically feel both her and your heart racing.

"What are you doing?" you whisper, angry at her.

"We'll both get out of here, or no one does." she growls furiously in your ear, backing away slowly. The dagger digs deeper into your skin as she realises there may be no way out of this situation.

You let out a loud scream, and suddenly her grip on you loosens. She falls dead to the ground, and you are right next to her. You press your hand against your throat and try to stop the bleeding. Your eyes study her lifeless body intently.

There are no injuries. No blood. No wound. One of the heartrenders must have stopped her heart.

You look around at the Grishas who are now coming towards you, and in a panic, you realise that there is not a single red kefta among them...

If it wasn't one of them then...

You shake as an unlikely thought comes to your mind, and the world slowly begins to blur into blurs as you feel the blood flow more freely from your neck and seep into your clothes. The dull, thumping beats buzz in your head, making it even more difficult for you to remain conscious.

Black material flashes before your eyes. You feel someone's strong arms lift you up. And before you completely lose your consciousness, you can feel HIS heart pumping warm blood rapidly. Yours is getting slower and slower.

And you wish you had died in his arms right then, before it all started...

A few hours later, you wake up in the Little Palace infirmary. You find out that you are a heartrender, and with your scream, you knocked down not only the woman who worked with you on this assignment (luckily no one knows about your identity and what you were really doing in the palace), but also the Grishas who caught you both (for the second time, the saints took watch over you, so you only knocked them unconscious for a moment).

Ah, and the Black General brought you here himself… the day like others.

Ooh, oh All I used to do was pray Would've, could've, should've If you'd never looked my way I would've stayed On my knees

You were kneeling in the chapel. The stained-glass windows and images of saints gave you a kind of solace in a strange way.

You often prayed to the saints. Even though there weren't many believers in Ketterdam in anything but profit and money.

You believed that they were somehow listening to the prayers of the people on earth… you just didn't know why they chose to so painfully ignore the cries for help for the lifes of your family.

You clutched a letter from Kaz in your hand. The tears had long since stopped falling from your eyes and had already dried on your face. After all, how many hours could you cry while sitting on one of the pew?

You didn't want to leave him like this. He was your little brother, and you loved him more than anything. Yet he threw it in your face for choosing your own comfort over his well-being. That you wanted to join the ranks of saints, forgetting who you were and leaving behind your past.

As if staying in the Little Palace was your choice.

You were thrown into the role of Grisha. You didn't even know how to control it... yet you were able to hold back thousands of hearts without any training or learning about small science.

You were capable of much more than an ordinary heartrender. You could manipulate the blood. Move people at your will, controlling the movement of blood through their veins and into their muscles, manipulating people's bodies to your will.

And you found out all this in just a few weeks.

You closed your eyes and rested your forehead on your joined hands. You were tired. Tired of being forced to accept a life you never wanted. You were a thief and a paid killer. Not any Grisha.

In the distance to your right, you heard a faint heartbeat. You sighed. Another bonus of discovering your powers. The sounds of the hearts of people around you overwhelmed you to the point that you had to hide in some secluded place to get rid of the pounding in your ears.

It sucked. And the man who was responsible for your miserable situation was standing right next to you now.

"I wouldn't take you for someone who prays to saints." his whisper echoed throughout the chapel. You turned your gaze away from him. You started looking at the stained glass windows in front of you.

"Maybe I just admire art, general."

"On your knees, with your hands together?" he asks sarcastically. You ignore the intense look of his dark eyes on you. He sighs, sitting on the pew next to you. "And it is Aleksander. I've told you many times."

"Shouldn't you be planning a war or something like that?" you huff, earning a small chuckle from him at your annoyance.

At first, you were afraid of this terrible, Black General of the Second Army. Over time, however, you allowed yourself to be more impertinent towards him. (When pretending to be an obedient Grisha irritated you to no end, you got into a fight and ended up in his war room while he was scolding you. You guess that you fascinated him not only with your powers then.)

"Shouldn't you get enough sleep for training with Baghra?" you groan in despair at his words. Baghra... another reason to run away from this place as fast as you can.

You get up from your knees and sit on the pew next to him. Kaz's letter tucked safely in the sleeve of your kefta, but you wonder how long it will be before he notices the unusual stiffness in your left arm.

"I'm not going there. This woman will kill me one day and tell everyone that it was my own incompetence that did it." his soft chuckle definitely shouldn't make your heart beat faster. You were glad he didn't have powers like yours to find out about this embarrassing fact. "I'm also a little concerned about you knowing my timetable." you say, actually suspecting that the general's good intentions are based on something completely different than your well-being. You still didn't know how you sold him the story about how the orphan from Ketterdam managed to become a servant for Ravka's royal family and didn't pass a single test during her stay in the Grand Palace.

"I care about every Grishas. Some require my attention more than others." He says, shifting his gaze to the stained glass window you were staring at.

Sankta Ursula of the Waves

"You can mock all you want, but I believe in them. You have to believe in something if you want to survive in Ketterdam."

He trembles slightly. He thinks you haven't noticed, but you have. He clears his throat and looks down from the image of a Sankta to look at something else in the chapel.

"Why you pray to her?" he asks, and you, not knowing the importance of this question at the time, shrug and simply say the truth.

"My brother crossed part of the sea alone when he was only 10 years old. If not thanks to the saint's help, I don't know how he survived…" you tell him.

You don't know why, but he has such an aura around him that you just WANT to tell him everything. It was easy to trust him enough to share some of your secrets... After all, everything that's in the shadows is safely kept from the world, right?

And in those dark eyes and that mysterious, confident smirk you could get lost so damn easily…

If you knew better, you would have tried to push him away from you instead of spending nights with him in the chapel, talking about your past or when he "accidentally" joined you, or in the palace garden when he "accidentally" wanted to walk around the lake in the moonlight. You have unknowingly let him to direct you straight to his intricately woven spider web.

And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil At nineteen, and the god's honest truth is that the pain was heaven

Genya has provided you with a wonderful kefta. However, its red was different from the others, Corporalki. It was more bloody, wine-like, and so dark that one could say it was mixed with black.

Aleksander said he needed to recognise his best heartrender, and this kefta, too fanciful for your taste, was supposed to be a symbol of your importance to the Second Army. As if the ridiculous amount of black thread he had ordered to use to decorate it wasn't enough of a sign that the Black General favoured you over his other soldiers.

It was one of many celebrations in the Grand Palace. However, on this occasion, the Tsar and Tsaritsa decided to invite the Grishas as well... or rather, have them entertain a crowd of self-righteous nobility on the occasion of the anniversary of the Ravka uprising.

You weren't a Ravkan. You weren't interested in some artificial celebration, but the general almost forced you to come to this stupid holiday with others... at least you could drink wine secretly with Genya and Fedyor.

You felt the blood flowing freely through your body as you danced with some other Grishas. You laughed carelessly for the first time in a long time and let yourself spin around as the handsome blonde held you in his arms.

The others' heartbeats hummed softly in your ears as you allowed yourself to let go of control a little. The orchestra's music effectively allows you to drown out the sound your powers have picked up.

Being so distracted, you didn't even notice when Grisha leaned closer to you and started whispering something in your ear. You laughed at the ridiculousness of his flirtatious offer and were about to reject him when suddenly an arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into a strong chest.

As soon as the familiar smell of burning wood and musk mixed with kvass enveloped you, you relaxed. Suddenly, the possessive, too-tight grip on your waist where his large hand was pressing against your stomach and holding his breasts too close to be appropriate didn't bother you as much.

And if, instead of inhaling his scent and perfume like some drug and getting high on it, you saw the death glare he was sending towards the guy who was only flirting with you, maybe you would understand that it was better to run away from him as far as possible instead of melting into the soft fabric of his black kefta and appreciating his muscles you felt through it.

But you couldn't think of anything else but how lucky you were that your summer keftas were so thin.

“I'm going to steal Miss Y/F(ake)/L/N for a while." he says as if he has every right to you. But you are too intoxicated (both by his close presence and the wine you drank) to notice that something is wrong.

And instead of yelling at him like you should have, showing him that you weren't a thing he could take whenever he wanted, you blushed as he turned you towards him and gave you that damned, dangerous smirk that made many Grishas women swoon.

"You looked like you needed saving." he whispers into your ear, gently touching his bearded cheek to yours.

You bit your lip, looking at him as he pulled away from you, perfectly playing the role of gentleman and your fucking knight on a black horse. Too perfect for you to notice then...

"Thank you, general, for caring so much about an ordinary heartrender like me." you tease him as he leads you in a dance.

"My best heartrender." he replies, running his hand down your back, making you shiver. He suddenly dipped you down, forcing you to lean on his hands and trust that he won't let you fall on the floor. You were so close in his arms that you felt every breath he takes matching yours.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Grishas whispering about you, but you don't care. Not while you have him with you, not while he's looking at you with such curiosity and admiration that you feel like you're the only damn person in the room. And you see his eyes linger longer on the black stitched decorations of your kefta on your waist and chest.

"Be careful, Ivan will be jealous." you tease, giving him one of your prettiest teasing smiles, and you almost hold your breath, seeing a hint of something akin to lust in his eyes, as dark as his shadows.

"He has his Fedyor." he replies, pulling you slightly closer to him, and you know he can feel your rapidly beating heart.

He was dangerous—everything you should avoid—something that young and naive girls were warned about. But you were drawn to him like a moth to a flame. And the fact that such a special, powerful man like him was interested in the thief and killer from Ketterdam like you made you unable to push him away.

You liked his attention. The way he touched your cheek tenderly as he brushed the hair from your face after riding with him. The way he sought your presence and the way he showed up at unexpected moments when you really needed someone. The way he gently grabbed your hand, amplifying your already formidable powers so you could practice bigger, more impressive things with him than with Baghra.

He made you felt special, chosen. And with every single second you spend with him, you wanted more from him…

He left you with the tingling feeling of his lips on your hand after thanking you for dancing. He walked away from you, giving you a second glance and a wink. And then you knew he would be your death...

And now that I'm grown I'm scared of ghosts Memories feel like weapons And now that I know I wish you'd left me wondering

"I do not like winter." you say, sitting in one of his armchairs in the war room, warming your hands by the fireplace.

Baghra forced you to train outside, and the cold ingrained itself into your bones. You tried in vain to warm yourself up using your power. The old witch, seeing your incompetence, only let you go when your lips turned blue enough from the cold. And Aleksander was bustling around you now, wrapping an absurd amount of blankets around you and making tea for the two of you.

"Why is that?" he asks, placing the warm mug in your cold hands. You smile gratefully and take a sip, deciding that he did it perfectly, just as you loved it. Which, by the way, wasn't so strange, knowing how many sleepless nights you spent in that chair talking with him.

"My brothers once took me to a frozen lake to go ice skating. I fell into an ice hole, almost froze to death, and got a terrible cold. My mother said that I miraculously escaped death. My parents spent all their money on doctors and medicines for me. And as a result, my brothers and I were strictly forbidden to go out without her supervision. As you might expect, they weren't very grateful to me for this."

You see him swallow and stare into his cup in silence. You don't miss his tense shoulders and the frown on his forehead as he mentions something—something very bad, judging by the pale knuckles of his hands as they grip the cup tightly.

You slowly get up and put your mug on the table. You walk up to him and kneel in front of him. You take the cup from his hands before it breaks under his force, and you slow down his rapidly beating heart with your power to calm him down a bit.

The touch of your soft, gentle hands on his brings him back to reality. His dark eyes stare at you with great intensity, assessing and wondering something deeply as he pierces your very soul.

"I fell into the freezing lake too." he finally says, lowering his gaze to your joined hands. He plays with your fingers and draws patterns with his fingertips on your palm as he weighs his words, not looking at you, as if he might break down under your compassionate pattern. "I was 13 years old… two other children, my dearest friends, attempted to drown me in that freezing lake."

A cold chill runs through your body. You unconsciously squeeze his hands, trying to catch his gaze.

"Why?" you whisper, shakily, imagining that cruel moment.

He doesn't say anything. He lifts his head and looks at you, and he finds something in your gaze that makes him decide to stare hopingly into your eyes with his dark irises that reflect the glow of the fire in the fireplace for a while.

He sighs, closing his eyes, and suddenly you feel your hands tingle where your skin meets his. And it's not the usual feeling that washes over you every time you're in his intoxicating presence.

NO.

It was something bigger, more powerful, and much more addictive than anything, than Darkling himself was already to you.

"Use your power. Listen to the heartbeat." he whispers his command quietly, completely unlike the way he expresses his orders. And if you opened your eyes, you would see him staring at you intently, watching the reaction on your face.

And then you hear it. Thousands of heartbeats, you feel every flow of blood in the bodies of thousands of people present from the Little and Greate Palace, even throughout the whole capital.

Overwhelmed by so much power, you let go of his hands and breathe heavily, still feeling the blood rushing through your veins and that warm tingle spreading throughout you.

"What... what the hell was that?" you ask him in shock, trying to catch your breath. "How... how did you..."

"You know what an amplifier is, right?" he asks, sliding out of his chair and kneeling in front of you.

He reaches up and slowly tucks your hair behind your ear. You flinch at first at his touch, and he freezes, but you quickly nuzzle into his hand when you notice that you no longer feel as much power emanating from him to you as you did with his earlier touch.

"Yes, but..." you freeze, realising what he's implying. The impossibility of it all only stuns you for a moment. But so many impossible things have already happened in your life that, in the end, this little piece of information doesn't make that much of an impression on you. But you can't say the same about what you found out... about what he must have gone through in his childhood. They practically hunted him like those animals that enhanced Grishas' abilities. "Oh, Aleksander." you whisper and lunge at him to hug him tightly to you.

And by the short sigh he let out as he buried his face in your hair, and by the way it took him a moment to undoubtedly return your strong, tender hug, you knew that this wasn't what he expected, that this wasn't the kind of reaction he was used to seeing.

If only you knew back then that he would start using his memories more often as a weapon in the fight for your feelings, your affection, your forgiveness, and your compassion, then you would rather he left you in the dark, for him to never start sharing THE REAL parts of him with you.

If you never touched me, I would've Gone along with the righteous If I never blushed then they could've Never whispered about this And if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was

Ravka's love day celebrations are… more successful than you would like to admit.

You went to breakfast, convinced that you would spend today's day off alone, locked in your room or gossiping with Genya about anything other than the romantic, tense atmosphere in the palace.

You were wrong.

It started with you being presented with various flowers from various Grishas along the way, asking if you would spend the evening with them. And they were various proposals. Dinner, a walk in the palace gardens, a horse ride, even spending the night with them (which you found disgusting).

You entered the dining hall and sat down in your usual seat, responding to Fedyor's teasing as you placed a bouquet of all the flowers you were given on the table next to you.

"You don't want to take them from me? Ivan would be happy." you try to shush him but he just laughs more.

"Better tell me which ones are from the general." he teases you, picking up one of the flowers and hitting your shoulder with it.

You tense up and blush slightly. You make sure to mask the beating of your racing heart so that Fedyor can't use it as a clue to your true feelings for the General, which have developed over the months you've spent in the Little Palace.

"None. And it better stay that way. As if all these women didn't look at me with hatred anyway. Can you believe that for all these flowers, no one brought me my favorites? Or any sweets?" you complain jokingly, digging into your food and trying to act as if you were unimpressed by his comment.

"And what are your favorites?" he asks casually, also starting to eat his food. You answer him and then suddenly someone sits next to you. Inferni - Luke, the one you danced with at one of the events and your faithful library buddy, gives you a shy smile.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" he asks, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck.

You feel Fedyor's eyes on you, but you try to ignore him. The heartrender flies away, leaving the two of you alone. You don't know how to answer Luke. He was that classic nice, funny guy that any woman would kill for attention. And probably, if your life were different, you would gladly accept his invitation and reciprocate his shy flirtation.

But you can't and don't want to do it. You don't feel an ounce about Luke what you feel about a certain dark-haired man in a black kefta. And when Inferni's hand connects with yours, you mentally compare the feeling to the tingling excitement that the mere look of Aleksander's dark eyes stirs within you.

Fortunately, you're not the one who has to answer. A grunt from the two of you makes Luke let go of your hand. You both stare at your general, who stands with his hands clasped behind his back. He approaches you slowly and catches your gaze with his dark irises before looking at the Inferni sitting next to you.

"Unfortunately, Miss Y/F/N will be busy tonight." he replies, not even trying to hide from you the silent, unspoken threat he sends with his gaze towards the boy who tired to ask you out.

Luke nods and leaves with a quiet: "Yes, General."

Alexander looks at you, and for a moment, that's all you do. And if you were a little more careful, less blinded by your fascination with this dangerous man who, for some reason, puts you at the centre of his universe, you would try to get away from him as far as possible.

But you are not.

He offers you his hand, patiently waiting to see if you take it or reject it. But you both then know that you are too deeply enchanted by his intoxicating appearance, too mesmerised by the sound of his voice, and too hungry for his touch to allow yourself to lose his attention for even a moment.

So you gently placed your hand on his. He wraps it in a safe hug and helps you up. He pulls you a little closer to him so that the materials of your keftas rub against each other. And the overwhelming amount of black embroidery on it practically hides the red material underneath, matching perfectly to the general's black kefta. This obvious match only now seems trivially obvious to you.

And if the Grishas had any doubt that you belonged to the Dark General, the fact that he pulled out your favourite flowers from behind his back and handed them to you with a small, charmed smirk as you took them from him and buried your nose in the petals told them so quite clearly.

In that moment, you too realised how deeply you felt for this man.

That's why, when he leans towards you, his bearded cheek brushing yours, flushed from the overwhelming feeling that overwhelms you in his close presence, you don't object when he whispers in your ear:

“I'm about to kidnap you for tonight.”

The rational part of you screams at you that this is a bad sign, that he is saying it with too much confidence and hunger in his eyes to be considered mere flirtation and not an act of pure possession and dominance.

But you don't listen.

You don't want to listen.

You want to drown in those dark brown irises, be consumed by his darkness, if it meant that for the rest of your life he would look at you as the only person he wanted.You want to finally feel wanted. Needed. Chosen. The one and only.

And the fact that it was this most powerful Grisha who made you feel this way only fueled your desires more and blinded everything your mind was screaming to your deaf heart. A heart that was deaf to everything that wasn't HIM.

"I can't wait." you whisper back.

And you know, by the way he nods at you and walks away with his usual confidence, the twinkle of victory in his eyes, and the huge, satisfied smile when he realises you're watching him closely until he's out of your sight, that you are gone for good and there is no going back to who you were. That he has clawed his way into your soul too deeply to ever try to deny it.

But lord, you made me feel important And then you tried to erase us

This is one of the best nights of your life.

You knew this from the moment you climbed with him to the highest tower in the Little Palace, which was used to teach little Grishas astronomy lessons.

He laid down with you on the blankets and pillows he had prepared, especially for this occasion, and let you lean against his chest as you both gazed at the stars. You, safely wrapped in his arms and blankets, listened to his slightly accelerated heartbeat as if it were the sweetest music you had ever heard. And the fact that he rested his chin on top of your head, occasionally whispering something in your ear about the constellations in front of you, quickly became by far your favourite place in the world.

"For a long time I only slept under the stars. My mother and I always had to be on the run. We couldn't find a permanent place. People would try to kill the Darkling's son as soon as they found out about my existence."

You lift your joined hands and press a kiss to his as you continue to listen to him. You feel shivers run through his body. You learned, with the time you spend with him, that he was completely unaccustomed to the tender touch of another.

"They were my only solace in the darkness."

"Were you afraid of her? And your shadows?" you ask, turning in his arms to look at him properly. He shifts his gaze from the night sky above you to you and disentangles one of his hands from your grasp to caress your cheek tenderly.

"A bit. I couldn't control them then... they were... unpredictable. My mother used to mock me and say that I was no summoner if I allowed my own power to rule me."

"Aleksander." you whisper, tears in your eyes as you see the pain written all over his face. It was there every time he mentioned that cruel woman. You hold one of his hands tightly and say, with all your conviction and unwavering faith in this man, "You are the strongest person I know. You've been through so much... I'm probably not even aware of half of it yet, and yet, look where you are and what you have achieved. There has never been and never will be a better Darkling than you. You are caring and attentive; you take care of your people, and the Grishas under your rule are better than ever."

He stares at you, frowning halfway through your speech, and something like guilt shines in his eyes as tears begin to form.

You don't know it yet, then.

You don't know why he feels guilty. You don't know why he shivers as you lean into him to press your lips together in your first kiss. You don't know why his hands are shaking as he cups your cheeks. You don't know why, as you try to undo the buttons on his kefta, his hands suddenly stop yours. You don't know why he pulls away after a moment, whispering something under his breath as he practically runs away from you.

All you know for sure is his heart beating madly as he disappears from your sight and the tingling of your lips after the kiss the two of you shared a moment ago.

He hasn't come near you since that night. In fact, you feel like he's trying to avoid you at all costs. And in hindsight, you curse yourself for not taking the hint. That you didn't move away when he tried to make it easier for you.

But you were too stubborn, too longing for his presence floating around you like his shadows, to simply give up and do what's best for you. So you knock on his chambers in the middle of the night, and when he opens the door, you both know you're too far in all of this to try to ignore an attraction between you—this ache in your chest after not seeing each other for weeks.

You don't know who kisses who first. Or when he pulls you towards him and closes the door behind you to pin himself against it. You have no idea who took the other's kefta off first or when you found yourself in his bed as he tried to kiss every part of you. You know you feel safe, warm, loved, and at home. And it's a feeling you haven't felt in a very long time. And so did he. That's why you get lost in each other, completely disregarding the fact that, in the end, you would probably both tear each other's hearts out.

Oh, you're a crisis of my faith Would've, could've, should've If I'd only played it safe

He finds you kneeling by his fireplace as you slowly burn letter after letter you wrote to Kaz that he sent back to you. The bastard didn't even open it.

It's been a long time since you kneeled before anything other than him. Your faith in the saints was crumbling with each passing month in the ranks of the Second Army. If the saints were so powerful, why did they continue to allow Grishas to be treated worse than dogs?

You didn't understand it. And the next bottle of Aleksander's kvas that you opened only confirmed your belief that the saints sucked, your brother was an ungrateful scoundrel, and your boyfriend was the only good thing that happened to you. Boyfriend… it felt weird for you to call him that, but you had no other idea in your half-drunk state.

You put another letter into the fire when you suddenly feel a pair of arms wrap around you, pulling you into his strong chest. You sigh, appreciating his scent and the warmth that emanates from him. His shadows slowly wrap around the two of you as you both kneel in front of the fireplace and the burning letters to your brother.

"Are you playing Inferni?" he asks teasingly as his hands go to the bottle of kvas you're holding, and he takes a sip from it.

"Possible. Did you have to grovel before the king again to get money for Grishas for uniforms, training, and food? Which should actually be his fucking duty to provide this for the soldiers who are bleeding for him and other royal snobs on the Fjerdan border.”

"Possible. Don't say it out loud or elsewhere. I don't want to see that pretty ass through the bars in the dungeon."

"We both know you'd save that ass and drag it back to your bed." you both giggle like fools. You lean more into him and sigh satisfied when he starts running through your hair, playing with it.

"Possible. Very much. Who deserves your hatred?" he asks curiously as you throw another letter into the fire. "Be careful not to set fire to my chambers. I have some nice, matching keftas here for the two of us."

"I'm glad you find it amusing that my brother is a dick." you complain a little, wondering what keftas he's referring to besides the ones you're currently wearing.

He insisted that you have at least one all-black one with red embroidery. Of course you agreed. You wanted people to know you were his.

"He didn't respond?" he asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. You take his hand in yours and start drawing patterns on it with your finger. You cling to his claw-like ring and play with it for a while, spinning it around his finger.

"He actually did. He write a big 'Fuck you' at the back of one." you say thoughtfully as you shift your gaze to the letters burning in the fireplace. Maybe it was actually better to stop trying to establish contact with him for a moment and give him space to think?

"Don't think about him. You don't need him." he says, nuzzling your temple with his nose. You frown and turn your head to look at him.

"He is my brother... that's a bound that never die." you speak strongly, convinced that you are right.

The determination in your eyes makes him fall silent, staring at you as he thinks about something, or maybe someone, as he mindlessly plays with your fingers—a nervous habit he showed every time he held you against him and he thought about his past. In moments like these, you just wanted to kiss the sadness and pain from his face.

"Maybe." he finally whispers back, lost in thought. Suddenly, he shakes his head slightly and flashes back to you from his memories. "Maybe it is better for him like that? To only care about himself. To show that he is not emotionally connected to anyone. Maybe he is trying to keep you safe?"

"Why live without love? Without someone close to you who waits for you and cares for you? Who believes in you? Who would have your back at your worst and when you need a rescue?"

"Sometimes people have no choice. It's safer to live alone. To care only about yourself. You know that your actions won't hurt anyone, and if they do, it will only hurt you."

"I would rather live one life in the arms of my love than hundreds of them all alone and in meaningless glory."

He tenses, but his grip doesn't loosen around you. If anything, he grows stronger, as if he's clinging to you to make sure you don't go anywhere further than his arms reach.

He kisses your temple and pulls you in so that you're straddling his lap. He strokes your neck and collarbone gently, and after a long, tender kiss, he whispers into your lips:

"I need to get out and visit a few camps near the fold. Come with me… I need to keep an eye on you to make sure you stay in these arms of mine as long as possible." he teases you, but you know his question-order has more meaning than he is willing to admit.

For the first time, neither of you are alone. You have someone to come back to at night, someone to talk to about your problems, someone to hold in your arms. And it's both a pleasurable and addictive feeling for the two of you.

I would've stayed on my knees And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil At nineteen, and the god's honest truth is that the pain was heaven And now that I'm grown I'm scared of ghosts Memories feel like weapons And now that I know I wish you'd left me wondering

Sun Summoner. Saint Alina. Ravka's Savior.

The girl received more titles and merits, more hope placed in her than many saints to whom you prayed. You would feel sorry for her if she didn't completely rob you of YOUR Aleksander.

And you would endure it. Really. If only that little saint hadn't accidentally blurted out his name at dinner while she was talking to you.

And that's why you stood crying in your... his chambers. You were packing instead of getting ready for the winter fiesta celebrations, fully ready to mend your broken heart on the borders of Ravka, preferably in some camp near Fjerda, so that you could vent the anger, despair, and disappointment boiling inside of you to them.

Although you preferred to keep the heart of a certain little saint rather than some Fjerdan or Drüskell, and to be honest, that desire scared you.

Kaz was right. You chose comfort. You could have tried to escape from the Darkling better and put more effort into your escape plans instead of letting yourself be slandered by that damn bastard who gave that sunny whore a kefta in HIS colour after a WEEK. You waited fucking months for him to give you the black kefta you wanted, which was now hanging in his closet, abandoned like a rag.

In your anger, you packed your things blindly, oblivious to your surroundings. That's why you flinched when suddenly HIS hands gently held your arms, preventing you from packing any further.

You don't turn to face him. You don't make a move, waiting for him to say something as you listen to his heartbeat.

"Where are you going?" he asks, but you know he's only doing it to analyse his next move, to come up with a reason in his head why you'd want to leave him, and he's trying to quickly come up with a plan to talk you out of it.

You may not have known what a son-of-a-bitch he was, but at least you knew him almost as well as you knew yourself.

"On a vacation." you huff and shake his arms off of you. You close your leather suitcase with a bang and turn to face him. He notices that you're wearing your red kefta—the first one that clearly wasn't trimmed with a ridiculous amount of black embroidery typical of heartrenders.

"Y/N..." he sighs and reaches for you, but you pull away from him before his hands land on you and your traitorous body succumbs to his familiar touch.

"Don't. Don't even start it. I know what you are going say all to well."

"What are you talking about?" he asks, frowning at you. You look away from him and sit on his bed as you tie your travelling shoes and make sure you have your daggers hidden in them.

"Oh, you know. That typical 'It's not you, it's me' talk. And the classic 'I don't feel the same about you anymore. And it's my fault, not yours.' Just spare us this crap and let me go somewhere where I don't have to watch you cling to that sunny bitch."

In an instant, he's on his knees in front of you, clutching your hands in his. You know that looking into his damn hypnotic eyes will ruin you, but you're too weak to resist him.

"I admit... I've been busy with the Sun Summoner lately... but she's not the one I return to every night. She's not the one I think about every free moment; she's not the one I want to hold in my arms..."

"But she's the one who got the kefta in your colours from you. She's the one who learned your name before I did. The one you trusted right away when I had to earn your trust every fucking week here. She's your equal. Your goddamn complement. I won't stand in the way of your great, epic love and play the role of the other woman, only because you get used to having me around." you say mad and push his hands away from you.

And instead of letting you go and making the one damn right choice in your life, he stands up and traps you in the tight embrace of his arms and shadows.

You scream, squirm, and try to struggle out of his strong arms, even going so far as to pathetically punch his chest with your fists, but weakly enough that it seems more like a frantic act of your despair and hurt than an actual attempt. hurting him.

“Milaya, moye serdtse… (Sweet girl, my heart.)” he whispers in your ear, his hands caressing your back tenderly as you tremble against him. "You are the only light of my life. Moi sol ye tselai. (My sun and stars.) There is no one else, and there never will be. Alina may be the Sun Summoner, my opposite and complement, but it is YOU who challenges me, you are my EQUAL. It is you that I want to return to every night, you are with me... you are the one I want to always have with me."

And then it feels so romantic and sweet, so right, when he kisses the tears from your face and pulls the ring from his pocket to slide it on your finger after his quiet: "Kei onolich yash, milaya?" and your little, almost unnoticable nod.

It feels so good when he throws your leather suitcase off the bed in one move and lays you on it, worshipping you all night long and assuring you that he is yours and yours alone. You feel loved. Wanted. Chosen above the one and only Sun Summoner.

And in that moment, his warm, soft lips on yours, his cold hands caressing your body heated by him, the shadows floating around you that he accidentally released, and the sound of his pounding heartbeat in your ears were enough for you to forget that he was planning to gain Alina's trust in a nefarious way. It was so easy to explain it to yourself. It was so easy for you to convince yourself that he was a good man. It was definitely easier than admitting the obvious, painful truth.

After all, that was all you two wanted... to never feel lonely and unimportant again.

God rest my soul I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close Stained glass windows in my mind

The fold is dark. Cold. It doesn't resemble Aleksander's shadows at all. Your fiancé is also nothing like the version you knew.

Version. That's exactly what he was showing you.

Another version of him. Another of his hundreds of lives. You were so naive and stupid. He had to handcuff you to the deck of the ship so you could finally understand what he was really like.

And so you found yourself in the front row, watching the Black Heretic widen his fold.

He has the nerve to walk up to you and brush the hair out of your face that has been ruffled by the wind his squallers have summoned. And he does it with such tenderness that you almost believe in the truth of his feelings. Almost. The handcuffs blocking your power and hidden beneath the fabric of your black dress—another one of his sick ways of marking his ownership—are a stark reminder of how he has degraded you and how he has reduced your role to nothing more than a pretty toy on his arm so that he is not alone in his madness.

"Please... I just want to talk." he whispers, his hand never leaving your cheek as he caresses it with his thumb with utmost care.

You don't look at him. You can't anymore. His face is a blatant reminder of your stupidity and naivety. Your greatest weakness and desire - all hidden in the face of a handsome devil in front of you. A Starless Saint you used to pray to in the past...

"I don't care how long it takes you, but in the end, you'll understand and come to accept that there was no other choice. That I'm doing this for us. For you. For all the Grishas." he whispers, placing a kiss on your forehead.

You're shaking. And you curse yourself for doing this, both because you're afraid of him and because his mouth still manages to tear down all the walls you put up because of him around your heart.

"Do not touch me." you snap at him, furious. Trying to at least pretend that you really hated him with every fibre of your being.

This doesn't discourage him. Even the other way around, he pulls you closer to him, tangling his hand in the back of your hair to whisper into your ear:

"I will banish this attitude from you in time, moya tsaritsa." you freeze at his words, realising his true plan—to expand the fold and take over Ravka. He wanted to become a tsar...

"You must be delusional to think for even a second that you will take control over Ravka and put me by your side."

"Isn't that what we promised each other? Stay with each other no matter what? I have seen what you truly are, and I never turned away. I never will." he's trying to convince you, and you know that if it weren't for the numerous lies and half-truths he fed you, you would join him.

You wouldn't care about what he did, what he intended to do, or who he would hurt to fulfil his sick plan that had been hundreds of years in the making. You feel weak and naive like never before. All because of the man, you decided to give your heart and all your devotion.

"I promised this to General Kirigan. Not to the Black Heretic, poisoned by his maniacal beliefs and blinded by the grip of authority and power. No matter how hard you try, you will never have control over anything. Your shadows and pride will be your undoing, Aleksander."

You gasp when he suddenly grabs your jaw roughly, tightening his fingers around your bones and preventing you from saying anything. He glares at you, a combination of betrayal and pain in his dark eyes as he tries to decide what to do with you. And you know that if you were anyone else, he would have used his shadows on you long ago.

And for a moment, you wish that he could finally free you from the suffering, hopelessness, and inner conflict you feel every time you look at his face.

"You shall be right by my side... no matter what you think about me." he promised you, which almost sounds like a threat, and placed a soft kiss on your cheek, near your lips. "You will understand; I know you will... we have all the time we need."

Before you can ask him about the meaning of his words, hell begins to break loose around you.

And you don't know what amazes you more, the fact that Alina is able to resist the bond and summon an incredible amount of light, or the fact that your brother appears next to you, and with the help of some mad hatter with a gun who turns out to be a fabricator, they free you. Kaz and his people take you away from the fold, Aleksander and his Grishas.

You are free.

Only your heart seems to be bleeding, left far behind you in the hands of a man you don't know if he's still alive.

And for the first time in several years, after you have a very emotional conversation with your little brother and after you promise to help the Sun Summoner, you allow yourself to cry quietly in the room they rented in some old inn.

And the worst of it all is that you don't cry for who you were, for the lost years in the Little Palace, or for how Aleksander changed you and transformed you in his image. No. You cry over him because you don't know if you'll ever see that damn bastard again.

And to make matters worse, you find a picture of a Starless Saint in the room. And you know that Aleksander, dead or alive, will haunt you for the rest of your life.

And his engagement ring resting safely on your finger is obvious proof of that.

I regret you all the time Can't let this go I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time

Baghra teaches you how to control and summon shadows.

Yes, Baghra, Aleksander's mother, who apparently turned out to be on your side, teaches you how to control and summon shadows.

During one rather nasty fight with Drüskelles, it turns out you can summon a fucking shadow cut.

And after Aleksander starts haunting you in your dreams and even in broad daylight, just like he does with Alina, you realise that she's not the only one who got an amplifier from him.

And so you found yourself in a library near the village where you were hiding, trying to find any information about Morozova and his amplifiers. And the women sitting across from you weren't much help.

"Why does he haunt her more than he haunts me? Could it have something to do with the fact that the bond between us is falling apart or is less durable than theirs?" Alina asks Baghra. You roll your eyes at her.

"He obviously has other… priorities." the old woman replies, clearly insinuating the motive for these priorities.

"Maybe please stop insinuating such nonsense?" you mumble over your book, trying to read the text.

It didn't help that you were distracted by their conversations and hadn't slept in days, too afraid of meeting him in your dreams. He was all you could think about anyway.

"I'm just stating facts. The boy constantly thinks about you; you think about him. You seek and reach out to each other unconsciously and appear before the other eyes."

"I'm not at all…"

"I wouldn't embarrass myself more if I were you." Kaz says, walking alongside Mal, Inej, and Jasper. Everyone but him is carrying large stacks of books for your wonderful group to look through.

"At least this one has a brain." Baghra comments, insulting everyone at the table. You can see from Kaz's look that he's rather pleased with her comment. "It's better for you that you're a cripple." you huff, amused, seeing Kaz's expression revert to his trademark cold stare. He frowns grumpily as he plops down on the couch next to you.

It was in good enough condition to allow you to lean on it for a while. That's why you took the opportunity and placed your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes for a moment.

"Are you going to meet your geek?" he asks teasingly, and if you didn't know him, you'd think the snarky tone was meant to mock you.

"You better keep an eye on your girlfriend, Kazzle. She's far too good for you," you whisper back to him and smile victoriously, hearing his heart speed up at the mention of Inej.

"Shut up and go to sleep."

You agree and allow yourself to fall asleep for the first time in days, hoping someone will wake you up if Aleksander invades your dreams again.

If clarity's in death, then why won't this die? Years of tearing down our banners You and I Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood It was mine first

As soon as you open your eyes, you realise that you are in a different place, somewhere you have never been before. You look around the room and stop in front of the mirror. You shudder as you realise you're wearing the black kefta HE once gave you.

"One day without your annoying presence, is it that much to ask?" you say, turning around after you saw his figure in the mirror.

You shiver, realising that he's much closer than you expected. For a moment, you wish you could pinch yourself to get out of there. It would definitely make life easier for your battered heart.

"You're so successful at avoiding me that I have to take advantage of every opportunity you give me, milaya." he says and takes a step towards you.

You automatically step back, making him clench his fists, keeping them to himself. He sighs and looks at you again, his dark brown eyes scanning your soul, trying, as usual, to find something to convince you to come back to him.

"Please… I just want to talk. You know I would never hurt you." he makes his cute, kicked-up puppy face. Your stupid heart hurts to see him so... broken, but this time your brain is screaming over your heart's pleas for mercy to this man.

"Do you want to talk? Then maybe you can tell me why you put an amplifier in me? Why did you let me summon your shadows?! Why did Grishas have to evacuate from the Little Palace, and why is the king hunting us like Fjerdans and Drüskelles?!" you ask angrily, unconsciously moving closer to him with each sentence you shout at him.

"You can try to make me a monster if it makes you feel better, but I am not your enemy. And you know it. Everything I do, everything I have ever done, I've done for Grishas. And everything I ever do will be for Grishas and for you." he says, as usual, maintaining that damn composure that makes you hate him more. You hate that he pretends he's perfectly fine while you're falling to pieces every day you walk without him by your side.

"Lying. That's all you can do. Lie, manipulate. Tell me, how many gullible girls have you fooled with your beautiful eyes and idealistic talk? How much girlhood have you taken and used for your own benefit?" you ask him, wanting to hurt him, wanting to cause him the same pain he gave you when you found out the truth about him, and your world crumbled around you like a house of cards. Because that's all your life was. Illusion. An illusion created by a man you couldn't hate like he deserved you.

"I've never taken anything you didn't give me willingly."

"I gave you everything just not to lose you. You made me dependent on you; you made life without you seem like cruel torture; you showed me things that I can't even feel with anyone else; you manipulated me so well that I don't feel that I exist without being by your side." you accuse him with tears in your eyes. You're letting them fall freely as you look at his shocked, hurt face. "And every pain you brought me was like fucking heaven. And the worst part of it all is that I would still be your fucking faithful follower and completely surrender my battered soul to you if only you hadn't fucking lied to me."

You let yourself fall apart in front of him. You let him touch you again as he tenderly cups your cheek and pulls your head to his chest. You cry into his kefta, hugging him tightly and digging your fingers into his back as he presses his lips against your head and holds you tightly in his arms.

"I hate you. I hate you." you cry into his chest, inhaling his scent like a drug.

"I will always love you, milaya." he says calmly, but you feel the drops dripping on your hair, and you let yourself believe that they are his own tears as you stand there in each other's arms, clinging desperately to each other.

And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil At nineteen, and the god's honest truth is that the pain was heaven And now that I'm grown I'm scared of ghosts Memories feel like weapons And now that I know I wish you'd left me wondering

Fedyor struggles with Ivan's grip. However, both you and the two heartrenders know that this makes no sense.

The two of you (and Baghra, whose whereabouts you were unaware of) were captured by Aleksander's men. You both actually volunteered. You were supposed to distract attention from the rest of your group of world saviors. Aleksander took the throne as he had predicted. And Ivan now leads you before the new tsar.

You walked through the corridors of the Little Palace, knowing this place all too well by heart, and you wondered if, when Aleksander was building it, he always had in the back of his mind that it would serve as his royal residence in the future. You were actually surprised that his first order wasn't to demolish the Grand Palace.

"Moi tsar." Ivan's voice pulls you from your thoughts. You weren't even aware that you had already reached the throne room.

"Finally. Interrogate the prisoner. Tsaritsa stays here." he says, and you feel his gaze on you, but you don't give him enough satisfaction to grace him with your gaze.

Fedyor swallows. You give him a sympathetic look as he walks away, with Ivan holding him tightly. What can war do to two people in love? You think. At least Fedyor knew how to hate Ivan... not like you.

There's an awkward silence between you for a moment. Only the rustle of his royal kefta and the heavy steps he takes in his shoes make you look up at him. And you hold your breath.

Of course, you had heard the rumours about his visit to the fold, leaving him with souvenir scars from his encounter with volcras, but well... it wasn't your fault that you immediately thought how hotter he was because of them. And with a crown on his head and a black kefta with red embroidery, he looked amazing. He had no right to look like that when you stood in front of him in your brother's oversized shirt and pants borrowed from Inej.

"Tsaritsa?" you finally ask with a sneer, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I knew you'd react to that." he says with a smirk, walking over to you. "I promised you this, remember? And I keep my promises. Even if I didn't really know you, Y/N Rietveld." you flinch at the sound of your real name, which you somehow managed to push from your memory. You also notice his clear reference to what you told him then in the fold. 'You lied to me too. About your identity. A paid killer. That's why you were at the palace, right? That's why I got the cup from you, with poison in it, if I'm not mistaken?"

"As you can see, quite miserable if you're still alive. Besides, I tought telling you half a story was not a laying at all?" you say, looking at him defiantly. He just laughs and stands in front of you, chest to chest, as you stare at one another.

"Is this how it will be now? Using each other's words against each other?"

"You can let me go, and then you won't have to talk to me at all." you say and he laughs, tucking your hair behind your ear and caressing your cheek with his thumb.

His fingers wander along your jaw, to your neck, to your collarbone, to your shoulder, and to the handcuffs on your hands, blocking your power.

"That's not the option. You are staying right where you are, right where you belong. With me." he says, and to your surprise, he removes the handcuffs from you. He takes your hands in his and presses his lips on the small, almost imperceptible marks on your wrists from handcuffs. He also didn't miss the opportunity to fondly stroke the engagement ring he gave you, which is still on your finger. It makes you blush unwillingly. "I can be your monster and force you to stay to make the whole situation easier for you."

"I would never choose you. Blood is thicker than water." you say, furious at his suggestion that you would choose him over your brother.

"But you can't leave without any of this, can you?"

You become silent. Because he's right. You can't live without him, and you have no idea what awaits you next, but you know that you will have to lose someone. And you are afraid of the end result more than anything else.

Suddenly, he stands behind you. You feel his chest rising and falling with each breath on your back as he suddenly raises his hands. There is something heavy, metallic, and heavy on your head. The bastard gave you a damn crown.

"It's you and me, Y/N. And we are all we need anyway." he says and places a kiss on your temple. He presses his nose, inhaling your scent and hugging you tightly, pressing you against him as his shadows circle the room and wrap around the two of you. You can't deny it and say that you don't feel comfortable at all, that you don't feel the relief that his presence once brought you. Because you do. You've always done. "I will give you the world, everything you want... all you have to do is stay."

You don't protest when he places a gentle hand on your jaw and tilts your head to kiss you. You don't try to break free from his grip as he deepens the kiss, expressing all the longing, anger, and affection you feel for each other. And you eagerly push him to his throne, to straddle him and prove that you want him as desperately as he wants you.

Oh, God rest my soul I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close Stained glass windows in my mind I regret you all the time I can't let this go I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time

You stood next to him. Just like he wanted. This was your plan before you even came back to him. Fedyor also got back into his good graces and gave them information, and you tried to convince your stupid heart that you were doing the right thing. And now you watched as Alina fought with him to destroy the fold.

And you're really prepared for him to die. You replayed this moment a thousand times in your head as you lay by his side in the Little Palace, watching him in his sleeping state.

What you are not ready for, and what the volcras around you make you realise, is life without him. Without his shadows. Without his voice. Without his dark eyes. Without his touch.

You're still trying to fight with it. Convince yourself that you are stronger and that you can do it. But when you see Alina pick up a Grisha steel dagger and aim it at Aleksander's chest, you react automatically.

You link your hands and form a cut faster than you can process it, and in a moment, the Sun Summoner ceases to exist.

It's just you and Aleksander in the fold.

The world stops for you. Your hands shake as you realise what you've done. And if it weren't for Aleksander's quick reaction and logical thinking, the volcra would have sniffed you out before you could take a step. He guides you out of your crease without even stopping for a moment. But you know it doesn't make sense. You will both perish without light.

Volcra attacks you, despite Aleksander's best attempts to keep them away, and cuts your arm. You scream as suddenly a bright light flows out of you along with your blood. Both you and Aleks freeze and stare at the strong beam of light from your shoulder.

Aleksander tightens his grip on you. You feel him as he amplifies the light within you and brings you out of the fold. You stop only when you are a few metres away from it. You kneel on the ground tiredly, mentally both cursing and thanking the saints, because you have no goddamn idea how you survived this and why Alina's powers transferred to you.

Aleksander is quickly at your side and wraps you in his tight embrace, whispering something you don't quite understand yet. You're too focused on the fact that you can't feel his heartbeat anymore. Your own powers are gone...

And with that, you realise that Y/N Rietveld had long been buried six feet deep beneath the walls of the Little Palace when your eyes met the devil you sold your soul to for the first time.

You gently push Aleksander away from you and kiss him, knowing that this is the only thing that can calm the storm of thoughts raging inside you as you absorb new revelations.

The fold claimed many lives. And it will absorb more than one in the future. It was the tomb of many common people as well as Grishas. And you know it buried Y/N Rietveld/Brekker today.

But a completely new person came out of it. Y/N Morozova. And she was no longer going to pretend that her soul knew anything of her old life anymore. She wasn't going to waste another night wondering how her life could've, would've, or should've gone. Not wasting another moment in the arms of the love of her arms, wondering if it was right to care about him. You didn't play it safe. So now you're going to take what life has got for you. And not alone. Never alone anymore.

"Let's go home, Sasha." you ask him, whispering.

And after a tender kiss on the forehead, you know that you couldn't have made a better decision. Maybe your soul has always been under the care of the saints, specifically this Starless one?

In any case, being the devil's wife suited you.

165 notes · View notes

buckyarchives · 1 year

Text

Little Mermaid | Bucky Barnes

summary: a mission gone rogue, and bucky has to depend on you to save him, with the help of a few unlikely friends found in the middle of the atlanic.

8.5k words

warnings: none, bucky's self-loathing

a/n: avatar has taken over my life so now you guys get a deep sea bucky fic where he bonds with dolphins, yes. It's literally pure fluff, I'm sorry I'm weak. I AM TAKING REQUESTS BTW!!!

Read on AO3

“How long has she been in there?”

Bucky glanced down at his watch. “30 minutes, and 25 seconds.”

“You gonna get her out?” Sam scoffed, his voice echoing around the walls of the dome-like room. The water reflected on the two boys, decorating mostly bucky's faces with ripples of the water as the lights lit up the pool.

“Hmm.'' Bucky hummed. Craning his head to look down into the pool, where your blurry figure sat at the bottom. I the peaceful bliss you'd often escape to. “No, she’ll get mad.”

“We leave for the mission later, make sure to tell her to get ready once she gets out,” Sam said, bucky nodded. “She will get out soon, right?”

“Hope so."

Bucky didn't pay Sam even a glance. his eyes trained onto the waters and a slacked jaw. A sweet and blissful smile painted his face, and Sam noticed, smirking to himself.

Sam has known bucky longer, but you sure knew him better. Nonetheless, Sam knew of how impatient Bucky could be, he spent most of his days being a close-to intolerable grumpy asshole– but once it came to you. it was entirely different. Sam would catch bucky sometimes, like now, just sitting next to the pool for hours on end. just waiting like some lost puppy.

Waiting for you to come up from the water for the breath of air you so rarely needed. Only to spare Bucky a quick conversation or just a glance before diving back down. Bucky would make himself comfortable and rid of his shoes and roll up his pants to dip his feet in. but the majority of the time, he'd just watch and wait with the same love-sick smile on his face.

Yeah, love-sick. Everyone knew it, saw it, hell– felt it in the compound. The tension, the sweet glances from across the room, the way Bucky would find any excuse to follow you to bodies of water– despite his distaste for swimming or being wet. The obvious pining between the two of you, almost knew, everyone except for bucky and you. If that was even possible.

If on cue, right as Sam was about to leave. The loud swish and splash of water brought his gaze back to the pool, where you came up from under with your hair slick back and water droplets falling off your nose. Bucky's eyes didn't leave you once.

“Back to dry land, little mermaid?” Sam snarked, you laughed sweetly as you slowly swam towards the edge, right next to bucky. Bringing your arms to rest on the edge, puddles of water pool around your arms and slowly crept towards bucky. But, he didn't even think to scoot away from you.

“Very funny, bird man.” you replied back, turning your head towards bucky. “You still don't want to get in?”

Not missing a beat in the offer, after the first few weeks of noticing the super soldier hanging around the pool whilst you swam. Eventually, You'd started to offer every time he showed up, bucky always said no, but you'd never stopped asking. Apart from you maybe just wanted to share the one thing you cherished just as much as him.

But he always just sat at arm's length and watched you in your element. Bucky would never say it out loud– but it was one of his favorite things to do. Getting distracted in the ripples of the water, losing himself in the soft sound of you doing laps.

Bucky was quick to shake his head, his long brunette hair swayed with the motion. And almost innocent look on his face. “No, I'm okay. We have a mission, anyways.”

You frowned– but were not surprised, slowly pulling yourself out from the water. Dressed only in a dark blue body suit, water dripping rapidly from your limbs. “Really?”

“In 3 hours,” Bucky replied, and you audibly groaned. You wished for another hour of the stillness that lay at the bottom of the pool.

“What's the details?” you padded over to the table, grabbing a towel from the rack and drying yourself off.

Bucky watches intently, not in a creepy way. Adoration, and curiosity is how he liked to explain it. Your abilities and connection with h2o had always been a mystery to him, to everyone, except maybe director Fury. You could control water, that he knew. I mean, bucky was the one to find you washed up on some random Californian beach. Only to find out you had no memory of dry lands.

So, bucky always had half a thought to wonder why you dried yourself off with a towel, him being close to sure you could get it done with a flick of your wrist. shit, he saw you drain every last drop of it from a Hydra agent that had pissed you off.

“Me, you, Bucky, and Steve are going on a recon mission. There's an unidentified island somewhere in the Atlantic.” Sam started, “rumored to be a leftover Hydra base. You and Bucky are going in on the north end, Steve and I will be arriving on the south end.”

“Over waters?” you ask, a slight perk in your voice. Sam and Bucky nod, and you smiled. Even the closeness of your past home lit a fire inside you. Mumbling under your breath, “not so bad, I guess.”

“Yep, and we leave soon so both of you get ready.” Sam said again. Before turning around and leaving you and Bucky alone.

Wrapping the towel fully around your body, shivering from the sudden coolness of the air. Bucky awkwardly shifts on his feet, the slick floor beneath his leather boots squeaking as he attempts not to slip (because he did once and you've never let it go.)

“Don't slip.” you remind him as if you could read his mind. A smirk painted on your lips and bucky’s under his breath.

“If I do, you’re obliged to catch me.” bucky snarks back.

Your head perks up, “oh yeah? Says who?”

Bucky doesn't answer your question, and leaves the teased question unanswered just to annoy you.

“Whatever.” laughing, beaming up at bucky like he was the world. “See you in a few,” you say, walking past the semi-dazed man as bucky's eyes followed you out of the room, the loud door booms as it closes leaving him alone.

Exhaling a shaky breath, settling the fast-paced beat in his chest. His face feels warm despite the chillness of the pool room. Bucky needed to get a wrap of his emotions before this mission, the first one-on-one mission with you. Bucky likes to watch, and observe with a slight adoration in his eyes. Silence is a familiarity between you two. Bucky’s too used to stuttering around in his brain anytime he sees you, silence and short meaningless banter is better– easier.

Bucky trudged up to his room with the thought of you heavy in his head, along with the warmth you bring him.

*****

Steve and Sam had taken off approximately 40 minutes before you and bucky, you went back and forth in the hanger loading all the equipment needed. You soon realize this was the first duo mission with bucky alone, being alone with him wasn't a strange thing but, this was different.

“Take off in 10.” agents Hill reminds you, “this mission shouldn’t be long, we just need you two to check all security and activity on the north side and get out. No jumping to take any risks.'' Maria eyed Bucky, earning a grumble and eye roll at the obvious poke at his reckless behavior involving Hydra assignments. You can understand why.

Bucky headed up the hanger, you went to follow but just before you could, Maria grabbed onto your shoulder. “I’m serious, Y/N. keep him off the ledge, no fighting unless absolutely necessary.”

Nodding, and sending her a reassuring smile. “If he needs someone to keep him out of his head, why not send Steve?” you ask honestly, eyes glancing back towards bucky as he got the jet ready for take off.

“Believe it or not, I think bucky trusts your opinion more than Steve’s nowadays.'' Maria finished, walking off before you could question the meaning of what she said, exactly. Your eyebrows knotted, turning back to the man adjusting his seat at the nose of the jet.

Surely that couldn't be true? You and bucky were close friends, best friends even. But you've only known him for, what? Like seven, or eight months? Steve’s known him his entire life, grew up with him, and shared memories with bucky from before his life went to shit.

A part of you always thought Bucky only lingered around you because he was the one to find you, like it was an insensible responsibility he held above himself. Because he always held himself responsible for things out of his control, too hard on himself. And you were just there, you were the outsider just like him. You valued your friendship and respected him but you've always assumed part of it was just out of pity.

Heading up the hanger and letting it close behind you, the soft sound of the engines starting up as you strapped into the co-pilot's seat. Bucky was always much better at flying these than you. Your eyes glance over to him awkwardly a few times, settling into your seat as lift-off begins, bracing through the small turbulence before you were flying gently in the sky.

“ETA should be about 30 minutes.” bucky said, hands steady on the gears. You nodded in response.

“What do you think will be there?” you ask curiously, mostly to just fill the silence.

Bucky hummed, his icy blue eyes glancing at you. The ones that never fail to leave you breathless, even from the very beginning. “Zero ideas, I hope nothing.”

“Agreed.” you nodded. Bucky's eyes didn’t leave you, and you met him quickly.

You opened your mouth to speak, but the words got lost on your tongue and you, as well, got lost in his gaze.

Seemingly, always having a habit of doing so, from the moment bucky found you on that beach, half alive. The first thing you saw as you opened your eyes was those deep blue eyes that reminded you too much of the only place you've known. From an instant finding comfort in bucky, in his Atlantic blue irises.

As bucky got distracted in your gaze, both of you did. Seconds or minutes could have passed, and the loud noise of fire coming towards you muffled out. That was until it hit you, literally, the loud boom and shake startling you and bringing you both back down to reality.

An instant panic sets in as bucky tried to get control over the jet, the engines are down, GPS is lost and you were declining rapidly. but the shots didn't stop and you were both helplessly freefalling inside the coup.

“Under the seat! The parachutes.” bucky shouted as he desperately tried at the gears. Quickly, turning around to look but it came up empty. You checked your surrounding in a frenzy, every place you think, unable to keep yourself steady as you began ascending towards the water.

You must have tripped as you went for a storage container in search of the parachutes because you fell into warm arms before you could hit your head. Looking towards Bucky as he held you, an obvious set of panicked eyes staring down at you.

“There's none.”

Bucky’s eyebrows knotted, settling you on your feet in front of him. Hands still settling onto your shoulder to keep you steady. “What? What do you mean there's none?”

“There are no parachutes, I checked everywhere,” you yelled over the loud sound of systems beeping as they failed, and your mind as it scattered for a plan B.

“What the fuck!” bucky yelled out of frustration.

Another boom and shake, and you were on the ground. Bucky followed with as he ducked, his arms still wrapped around you, even tighter now. Another shot was fired at you and it was clear whoever was behind the fire really wanted you out of the sky. As the shots hit the sides sliding doors. Bucky held onto you so as not to fall, but that gave you an even better idea.

“Do you trust me?” you shouted, eyes glancing towards the familiar comfort of waters.

“What?”

“Do you trust me?” you shout again, making sure to maintain eye contact as you spoke. Bucky let out a heavy exhale, nodding slowly. His brunette hair whipped around as the harsh winds took over.

“Is this going to be reckless?” bucky asked you, even though he was almost certain of your answer.

You didn’t respond, only grabbed harshly at bucky's hand and dragged him towards the edge. Visible fear showed on bucky’s face, reminding you of how he even got to where he was now.

Bucky wasn't going to lie and say being faced with falling dozens of feet, unsure of survival– didn’t scare the sit out of him. Trying to shake the flashes of the water turning into the snowing alps as he stared down, trying to settle his panic.

A warmth took over him suddenly, as you snuck your hand into his, hoping to comfort him. it did. “Hey, bucky. Just look at me, I promise we’ll be okay. Just trust me.”

Hesitantly, Bucky nodded and kept his eyes on you. Gulping down his nerves as you counted down in your head, cursing to yourself because you were supposed to keep him off the ledge, and here you were– ready to jump off it and dragging him down with you.

“Take a deep breath,” you shouted before harshly grabbing him and hurling both of you over and into a free fall into the water.

Bucky's grasp got tighter around you, and yours around him just before the harsh impact of the ocean submerged you both. The familiar feeling of it filling your lungs and surrounding your body, the dark blue depths– the bliss and peace of it all.

Glancing down at the man in your arms, realizing bucky had gone unconscious.

You really regret not teaching him how to swim like you now.

*****

The gentle whispers of waves filled bucky’s ears, his eyes slowly fluttering open as he took in the bright surroundings. A fresh, salty air filled his nose as he breathed– he could practically taste it on his tongue. bucky's head pounded and made him dizzy. The uncomfortable feeling of wet clothing sticking to his skin makes him cringe, slowly rising his head. Bucky noticed your familiar figure in his line of sight.

“What- what? Where are we?” his lungs and throat burned as he spoke, feeling raw as if he had spent the past hours yelling his lungs out. A feeling all too familiar. Slowly, coming to his senses and he noticed the pure amount of blue that filled his surroundings. “Are we–”

“We’re okay, don’t panic,” you reassured him, noticing your wet hair (as it usually is) and that you were stripped of your tactical suit and now only dressed in a full-body wet suit.

Bucky whipped around, feeling the hard surface under him– what looked like to be rocks? In the middle of the ocean? “Where are we?” looking up to only see water, for miles and miles. Seemingly no land in sight besides whatever he and you reside on now.

“We’re on charlie,” you explain simply, sitting across from him.

“What–” bucky’s words are interrupted by the sudden spray of water in front of his face, getting him all wet again. Shouting as he scrambles away from the blow hole, he screaked. “What the fuck!”

You laugh at bucky, with an aggressive confusion playing out on his face, eyes bulging from his head, as he suddenly realizes what he's on– who he's on. The faint sight of a fin the size of a truck waving through the waters. Bucky begins scattered around in a panic. You noticed, and an exaggerated sigh leaves your lips.

“This is Charlie, he's a blue whale,” you state like it makes any goddamn sense to bucky. “He's my friend.”

“And when were you going to tell me you were friends with a goddamn whale?” bucky asks, still taking in the scary yet– incredible, once-in-a-lifetime sight. Bucky can confidently say he's seen and experienced way too many ‘once in a lifetime’ things, but his history says none of them have been good, or at least resulted in good things. But this, he sat on top of a blue whale in the middle of god knows where sea. Bucky couldn’t comprehend it.

You shrug. “It never came up.”

Scoffing, “it never came up.” bucky mocks you, but with no ill intent. his eyes still darting around the whale's back that you both sat on. The water rose up and down, meeting his legs. Bucky's eyes meet yours again, in comparison to bucky you seemed the calmest person in the world. “Seriously, where are we?”

“Uh.” you inhale, looking around at the vast blue like you'd see any indication of where you were. “Definitely northern Atlantic since that's where we fell. I'd say a couple of miles east of the mid Atlantic ridge. I have backup coming soon to figure out.”

Bucky's head tilts. “You got comms out here?”

In the middle of the Atlantic, on a blue whale after you, both doze into the water. Your coms would have gotta damaged in the fall, and if they did still work– there's no way that wherever you two were it would reach anyone.

“Not that kind of backup”

“Please don't tell me you have an orca whale coming to pick us up.” bucky deadpans, what would be a joke but now he's unsure of everything you can do.

The whale below him lets water out of his blow whole again, almost sounding offended, if that's even possible

A mischievous grin grows slowly as you look at bucky, you mumble quietly “no, they're dolphins”

“Dolphins?”

“Hey!” you try to defend yourself, with bucky narrowing his eyes at you. Either disbelief or genuine shock on his face, maybe both, you couldn't tell. “They'll get us to land and then we can call for real backup and make sure Sam and Steve are okay.”

Bucky blinks once, twice, maybe a third time. Almost in a daze, because how the fuck does he end up in this situation unless he’s died and gone to some weird afterlife. Like his crush is going to make him ride dolphins into the afterlife, and if it wasn't for the uncomfortable feeling of his thick clothes and body armor weighing him down. Or the harsh sun beating down on his neck, he'd be convinced.

Under his breath, he mumbled just loud enough for you to hear. “Fucking little mermaid.”

You giggled at the comment. Sometimes Bucky wonders if you are a siren, because every noise you make sounds like music to his ears, slowly pulling him closer towards you. Bucky shifts uncomfortably as your eyes trail up his body, “are you wearing anything that has any grave importance to you?”

Bucky looks down at his attire, a soaked black leather jacket provided by shield. Kevlar, body armor, and cargo pants full of weapons. “Not really, why?”

“I'm sure it weighing you down.” you say, “I’d recommend taking it off, especially when the dolphins come.”

Buckys pretends that sentence doesn't sound absurd, and hesitantly agrees. Slowly beginning to remove his jacket and vest. “Where’d you get the wetsuit, anyways? Did a squid let you borrow his.” bucky jokes, and you smile fondly. Bucky always liked that he could make you smile and light up so easily. Pride never ceases to spread through his chest.

“I wore it under my uniform, just in case.” your fingers run over the dark blue fabric, “glad i did.”

“Wish you would have given me the memo.” Bucky comments, slowly peeling the fabric that stuck to his skin, and attempting to rip off the vest but he begins to physically struggle. Considering the weird position he's in; bucky's sure that Charlie the whale doesn't enjoy having a 6-foot-something super soldier standing up on his back. But Bucky always felt heavier and much more of a burden than he actually was.

You notice him struggling. “Buck, here, let me help.” you slowly scoot over towards bucky. Your surprisingly warm hand reaches his back to undo the zippers and velcro. A shiver goes down his back, hoping you don't notice the abrupt twitch of his neck when you touch him.

You were one of the few people that walk this earth that bucky would even think to let so close to him, your presence always felt familiar, comfortable to him. You being so close just felt natural. Yet, it didn't subdue the butterflies that fluttered in his stomach or the way heat would rise to his face and tint his ears pink.

“How long was I out?” Bucky asks.

“Around 5 hours.” bucky audibly winches at the answer, “I kept you above water before I found charlie. Couldn't have you drowning on me.”

“right.”

“Why do you always call me that by the way?” you ask innocently, you had finished taking off bucky's outer layer of clothing. Leaving him in just a sleeveless tank top, showing off his vibranium arm as the sun highlights it making it shimmer. But bucky doesn't turn around and your hands don’t leave his body.

No– your hands tangle in his hair as you pull back the wet strands that stuck to his forehead and neck. Beginning to pull his hair into a small bun, similar to the one he wore in Wakanda when it began to grow too long for bucky to handle.

“What do you mean?”

“You always call me little mermaid, Sam too,” you explain and bucky's lips quirk up slightly in amusement.

“You know, ariel? You've never seen that Disney movie about the mermaid who gives her voice for legs so she can live on land with prince eric?” bucky summarizes the classic Disney movie, kindly leaving out the fact that Sam made him sit down for 2 days straight to catch up on every Disney princess movie

“No, I have not. And I’m not a mermaid.” you wiggle your feet and knees to make a point, bucky eyes crinkled in adoration at your gesture. “See, I have legs.”

“I thought you were one when we first met, you know.” bucky says without a thought, a sudden calmness carries over his body as your hands are still playing with his hair, the soft sound of the ocean whispering. Everything around him seems so still, so quiet and peaceful.

“What?”

“When I saw you washed up on that beach,” bucky explain. “your hair was a wild mess and you had no clothes besides some seaweed wrapped around your body. Despite everything and the circumstance, I thought you looked so beautiful that you couldn't possibly be human. Sam had bets you were a siren”

Before bucky can even stop himself from rattling on, telling you his vulnerable and real thoughts of your first meeting. It's like his brain and mouth couldn't contain this confession, and when he tells you, your hands stop working at his hair and he picks up the slight hitch in your voice as you freeze. You go quiet and bucky suddenly realizes he might have fucked this all up, and the calmness of the ocean can’t stop the sudden anxiety that makes him shake.

Bucky’s scared to face you– can’t turn around, but he has to see your reaction. Just so he knows whether or not to expect you to leave him on the back of a whale in the middle of the Atlantic. Slowly, he does.

“You think I'm beautiful?” was the first thing that came out of your mouth when bucky sees you. Your voice is full of sincere curiosity and wide eyes. Your face feels warm.

Reluctantly, bucky nods. His mouth feels dry as he speaks. “Yeah.”

You smile, an ease spreads through bucky's body and the calm comes back to him.

“You don't look too bad yourself, sarge.” you say, a tease to your voice that makes bucky dizzy. Struggling to bite back the smile on his face.

Before either of you can speak another word, the high-pitched squeal of 3 dolphins jumping and swimming towards you. The water ripples around them, and what bucky can only describe as screaming in delight as they come to greet you.

Your hand dips down in the water with the most gentle and soft touch he's ever seen as you rub their heads. You listen and watch intently as they began to squeal, grunt, and creak. Bucky scoots closer to you and the dolphins as you begin to nod in a sense of understanding.

“They should get us to the shore of Portugal by 2 or 3 am, which is a long ride if you're okay with that.” you turn to bucky to tell him the plan.

“Not like we have a whole lot of options, doll.” bucky scoffs, looking around at his surroundings. “-Wait, can you understand them?”

“Yes,” you turn your attention back to the three dolphins fighting for your affection like little children, bucky finds it weirdly endearing. “Every animal in the ocean has their own unique language. I cannot mimic most of theirs, but you'd be surprised how many sea creatures understand English or other languages. They are a lot smarter than humans”

Bucky can only stare at you in udder astonishment. You– this gorgeous being you seem to be able to do it all, your kindness and caring as taken you a long way in life that bucky will never understand. And here you are before him, communicating with animals and treating them as if they're your family.

One of the dolphins leaves your attention and maneuvers its way toward Bucky, her head pops out of the water, and looks at him. You watch bucky intently as he hesitates to put his hand near her. Looking towards you for reassurance.

“Go on, she won't bite.” you encourage him. Bucky could never disobey you when you look at him like that. So earnest. So patient.

His hand grazes against her head softly, keeping his movement slow so as to not scare off the creature. Bucky’s so used to being feared and everyone flinching in his presence, it’s until the dolphin squeals in delight he realizes these animals don’t know him like the rest of the world. Only judging based on how they perceive him now, you've always said animals are the best judgment of people.

“She likes you,” you say simply. Bucky looks up towards you, in awe, to see your eyes already on him. Slowly, warmth grows to each of your faces as you shy away at the eye contact. “I'm assuming you don't know how to ride a dolphin, and I don't have time to teach you. So you'll ride with me.”

You begin to maneuver yourself into the water, practically diving in if Bucky could think straight at this moment. You disappear for a moment, which leaves Bucky feeling way too alone and vulnerable in the vast openness of the ocean. Knowing there were miles and miles under him of things he'd never seen before, possible threats, and obviously possible allies as he looks at the dolphins in front of him.

Makes Bucky realize how much safety and pure comfort he confides in you. That scares him more than anything, but also makes him feel lighter in the chest. Make his heart beat a little quicker.

Slowly, you arise from the water with your hair all wet again and slick back. You've now planted yourself onto one of the dolphin's backs, gesturing towards the small spot behind you. Assuming it was for him.

Bucky recoils slightly, not out of fear or disgust. He is just hesitant, everything is so crazy and new to him and he's still grasping the fact you have befriended a whale. So wrapped up in his own head he misses the way your face drops, looking down. Insecurity grew through your body.

“You think I'm crazy.” you ask, but it comes out more as a statement, and bucky's brain scrambles to correct you.

“What? No! No– never, I'd never think that of you. Never, y/n.” bucky rattles on, shaking his head. “This is just– so new and scary to me.”

You exhale, “sorry.” you force out a smile, and slide off the dolphin and swim towards him. beginning to walk through what bucky needs to do. “Just get in the water, it's okay– no harm. And she’ll go under you and just lift you, simple and easy. You can do it, promise.”

“Okay,” bucky breathes out shakily. Getting absolutely lost in your gentle encouragement from you, lighting a fire in bucky that makes him feel a little more sure of himself. Yet, still, Bucky hesitates as he slowly lowers himself off the whale and settles himself in the surprisingly warm water. Bucky looks up and sees that he needs to hurry as the sun starts to go down.

“Woah!” Bucky is taken aback when the animal maneuvers herself between bucky’s legs and lifts him up, almost losing his balance as he leans back. Quickly attempting to balance himself on her fin, your hand latches onto his thigh in some sort of assistance. It only makes bucky feel dizzier.

“Good job.” you beam up at him and, bucky warms at the praise, “scoot back a bit, please.”

Bucky obeys and you swiftly lift yourself and settle between his thighs. Bucky’s sure his face is beet red now, with you settling in between him and your back to his chest. His brain practically turns to mush as he has to bring himself back down to earth from the abrupt closeness.

“You sure she can handle both of our weights for that long.” bucky asks, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice.

“Don't like this?” you ask, a vague question, but bucky understands what you mean. “I can-”

“No! No, I'm okay!” no, he's definitely not.

You laugh lightheartedly and bucky swears he must be dead, he can't see your face but he can picture your bright smile and the way your eyes crinkle up at the sides. “Yes, you would be surprised by how strong they are for their size.”

Bucky hums in response, suddenly he's unsure of where to put his hands. Settling on resting them on his thighs, but he's gravely unbalanced like this– especially if he’ll be moving in the water.

“Uh.” your body tenses slightly, “you can– um, just put your arms around me, okay? we’ll be going quite fast and I really don't want to lose you, so get a good grip.”

Hesitantly, bucky wraps his arms securely around your waist. Tight. Your back pressed against his chest, even closer now.

“yeah, like that…” your voice is quiet now, sounding almost flustered.

Your face begins to grow hot, and the tips of your ears turn red. Adjusting yourself, trying not to squirm too much while you sat between bucky's legs. Your more than sure the dolphins can feel the weird sexual tension between the two of you, god– bucky can practically taste it by how strong it is in the air. “Hold on, tight though. I’m serious, if you fall it's your own fault.”

Bucky laughs at the snark in your voice, while knowing you are fully fucking serious. His grip tightens and you attempt to hide the hitch in your breath when he does.

The dolphin begins to swim, speeding away from the whale with her two buddies by her side. Bucky's head turns slightly to see the whale starting to lower itself back into the deep ocean. Utterly astonished by the sight, he must be in a dream.

“You okay?” you check up on bucky. the dolphins bob up and down in the water, conscious of the fact bucky was riding and could not, in fact, breathe under water like you. bucky watched in awe at the ripples of waves behind him. it's so rawly beautiful.

“Yeah, very okay.” bucky replies in an almost dazed sight. You grin in pride. “This is quite therapeutic, actually. Why haven't we done this before.”

The familiar sweet laughter fills bucky’s ears, “I don't know, I'll make time in my schedule to do this later with you.”

Later. With you.

Bucky beams at the statement, excited that there will be a later, and you with him. God– he could shout out in joy. And bucky begins to understand why you spend most of your time at the bottom of the compound pools, or excusing yourself on your free weekends to the coastlines. The pure calm and peace he feels in his body make him dizzy, and it's not all because of you. Bucky feels weightless and an ease he hasn't felt since his childhood. Out here his history is unknown and he is nothing except who he is now, which according to the dolphins. Is a good man.

Bucky feels like a good man for the first time in decades. Out here, just with you.

The slight breeze blows through his damp hair, the warmth radiates off your body. Bucky sees nothing but blue for miles and miles until it meets the horizon and he can still taste the saltiness in the air.

Bucky doesn't remember beginning to slack against your body, dropping his head on your shoulder. He doesn't remember the weight of his eyelids, just for them to eventually close and bucky sure doesn't remember falling asleep, pressed close to your body as he glides through the Atlantic.

But he awakes and the night sky had turned to dark, slowly fluttering his eyes up and rising his head away from the crook of your neck.

Bucky also realizes this is the most he's slept with no nightmares or memories of the soldier plaguing his mind, no– he woke up peacefully. No jolting awake with a dry throat from screaming and muttering Russian phrases under his breath. He wasn't coated with his own sweat from panicking, just the salt water.

He woke up with you in his arms.

“You awake, sleepyhead?” you say, and bucky begins to regain all his senses when he shakes the sleepiness from his body. His arms were still securely wrapped around your waist, and bucky would be dammed if he ever tried to let go.

“I didn't mean to fall asleep.” he says honestly, “sorry.”

“Don't apologize, you slept through most of the ride. We should be close enough to the shoreline soon.” you say, “though you missed some very confused crew ship members.”

“That going to be a problem?” bucky laughs to himself at the thought of a ship full of workers looking down to see a pack of dolphins, only to find two agents sailing across the Atlantic on their backs.

“No.” you laugh. “You snore in your sleep by the way.”

“Shit– I'm sorry.”

“Don't apologize.“ you repeat again, “I'm just glad you're getting some good sleep, and your snores are kinda cute.”

“Shut up.” bucky replies, flustered. But secretly he was glad he’d slept peacefully, with you.

“Hey,” you quietly call to his attention, bucky’s head perks up and he hums in acknowledgment. “Look at the sky, the best view in the world.”

Bucky's head tilts up and his breath gets caught in his throat.

The sky was decorated with the brightest array of stars, shining down on them and lighting up the midnight sky. Bucky can notice a few of the constellations that painted the dark sky. It's one of the most beautiful sights he’s seen in his life and it leaves him breathless.

And then he looks back down at you and can't help be choke up a little.

“Thank you,” Bucky says like it's the easiest thing in the world.

Your eyebrows furrow, your hands still wrapped around the fin in front of you, leaning forward slightly. “Why are you thanking me?”

“I don’t know.” bucky replies honestly. Despite the circumstance, it's easy to ignore them because of the fact he's seen beautiful things today. Felt things he'd never even known of, and all because of you. “I just– I feel good, you make me feel good. You always have, but now, I've never felt like this before, so free and secure.”

Your place one hand on his, gently squeezing it. Bucky wishes he could see the giddy smile on your face as you grow flustered at his words. “I’m happy I make you feel like that, and you make me feel good too. Since the day I met you, I think I found a sense of unexplainable comfort in you.”

Neither you nor Bucky has ever felt this vulnerable with each other, but it's hard to feel any sense of burden out here. Hell– Bucky would learn to live out here and run (or swim, I guess) away with you forever if he could continue to feel like this for the rest of his life.

Bucky also realizes Ariel was a fool for giving that up for a silly prince.

“So, I have a question. Can I ask you a question?” bucky speaks.

“Shoot.”

“You've never been very clear on your, um, abilities.” he starts, “I always thought you could just manipulate water, but it seems to be much more now. So what is it?”

You hum, thinking to yourself. “I don't know, honestly. I can't remember anything except the sea. I know the water was there for me as it always has been, the way of the water is there for us before birth and long after death. It takes, and it gives whatever it wants. It's the most powerful thing on earth and it's all I've known. The ways took a liking to me, it claimed me and it's very protective. I can't control water per se, it just listens to me– obeys most of the time.”

“So you don't remember anything of your life before, did you even have one?” bucky asks sincerely. Genuinely astonished by the information he was receiving, realizing how powerful of a person you were.

Bucky can understand why the water chose you. Considering everything, you were the kindest, most sincere, and most caring person he's met. You have an effect on everyone you've interacted with, you're headstrong and slightly stubborn. But forgiving and understanding, something too forgiving in Bucky's opinion. Always there for him, from the very beginning and even after you began to learn of his past

“I don't think so, but I don't remember being fully conscious when I was in the water. Like a baby in a mother's stomach, and it's like I woke up when I washed up on that beach.”

“I'm sure it was scary,” bucky comments.

You laugh, “very. But you were there, and I always felt a weird pull toward you. Like I'd be safe with you.”

Bucky's breath hitched for the millionth time now, he's lost count. Something– a confession of sorts, a tell of his feelings are on the tip of his tongue. He opens his mouth to speak but it is quickly cut off by the shrill of the dolphins. He looks up and Bucky can barely tell in the dark, but the shores of Portugal stood in front of them. An open, empty beach.

“We’re gonna have to swim from here,” you say. the dolphins begin to slow and the water piles near his legs, rising up to Bucky's waist. “That okay?”

You earn a hum in response, and slowly the dolphin comes to a full stop and floats for a moment. You swiftly maneuver yourself out of bucky's grasp, out of between his thighs, and into the water. Bucky feels entirely too empty and cold, without you're heat and touch– bucky's body feels wrong.

“Come on.” you whisper, “follow me, okay?”

Nodding, Bucky manuvers off the dolphin and drops himself fully into the water. You begin the spew out a plethora of ‘thank yous’ and ‘see you soon’ to the now lone dolphin, she squeaks in joy when you rub her nose and head. Bucky can't help but watch, lovesickness dripping from his face. Before tailing it and leaving you and bucky alone in the water, his boots touch the sand beneath him, the water stopping at his shoulders.

Your hands grab at bucky’s, and suddenly the warmth spread through him again. He grins subconsciously and pulls himself closer to you as you both make your way toward the shore.

Bucky wished for anything more than the bliss calm of the ocean to be ripped from him, these quiet moments where it's just you and him. But he needs to call in, make sure Sam and Steve are okay, and let everyone know that you and he are, in fact, alive.

The feeling of stepping on dry sand comes, and water drips rapidly from both of you as you step out of the crashing waves. A few straggled seaweed dragged from both of your feet, looking like fish out of water. Bucky's partially thankful for the fact it's night and the seemingly touristy beaches are empty, he's unsure of how people would reach seeing you two arise from the water. He can imagine it would be pretty scary.

“There's a 24-hour convenience store down the road, we’ll call in from there,” you explain, bucky nods. He begins to feel the weight and burdens settle low in his stomach and high on his shoulders again. Unaware of the fact his hand was still tucked securely in yours, at least that gave him some sense of comfort as you practically dragged him towards the corner store.

“You think Sam and Steve are okay?” Bucky is afraid to ask, afraid that if he even speaks of their well-being out loud, his horrible suspicions would come true. They didn't have a girl that could beckon for whales and dolphins as bucky did.

You squeeze bucky's hand, bringing him back down from losing himself in his head of worries. “Yeah, Charlie asked the others in the area if there’d been any plane crashes beside us. None of them heard or saw anything, so that's a good sign.”

Bucky can't hold back the chuckle in his throat, you step falter to look up at him. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing.'' Bucky shakes his head, full of adoration as he looks at you, but doesn't leave. “You're just– you're amazing.”

“I try.” you begin to step forward again but bucky tugs you back to your place, a surge of happiness and confidence rushing through his veins.

“No,” he states, and you stop in front of him. Your bodies and faces are incredibly close now. So close bucky can practically feel you're breath on his chin on this cool Portuguese night. “I mean it, you are amazing.”

Bucky states like it’s a fact– and to him, it is. He’s never been so sure of anything in his whole overextended, fucked up life.

You grow flustered at his reassurance, beaming at his validation. Bucky's hand burns in yours, a good burn. One you couldn't– wouldn’t pull away from if you had to. You're sure Bucky's super soldier hearing can pick up your heart racing as he brings his free hand to your face. Gently cradling your cheek in his palm, you lean into it.

“I'm not good with words, doll.” bucky breathes out, like a confession. “Can I kiss you?”

You nod almost instantly, “please,”

Bucky obeys, he was never able to say no to you anyways. Pulling you in so incredibly close and slanting his lips against yours. He can taste the salt on your lips, feeling the entire weight of the ocean in your touch. Bucky feels the calm and stillness of the water as he moves against you, your noses touching. Bucky feels breathless like he might drown. He begins to contemplate if you really are a siren.

Your lips are softer than bucky imagined, he wasn't going to lie to himself and say he's never thought about doing this. The amount of times proximity has been forced upon you two and bucky’s almost thrown out everything and just leaned into your touch. Bucky imagined you’d be a good kisser, but now it's real and it's happening.

The sweet kiss doesn't last too long, they are still two agents on a mission. Bucky pulls away at a painfully slow pace, leaving you to chase after his touch. You two stand breathless, damp, and a little sandy in the middle of a Portugal street. And you realize you wouldn't want it any other way.

Gulping down your nerves, and swiping your tongue across your lips. A nervous smile painted your face, “let's go, we should really call in.”

“Yeah.” bucky repeats, still in a half daze as you two continue towards the only lit store near.

Bells jingle above as bucky swings open the glass door, adjusting to the bright fluorescent lights. Looking towards the counter as a sleepy man hunches over, reading the newspaper. His head perks up toward the two of you, looking at you two as if you grew a second head.

The man speaks up in Portuguese, something you don't understand, but bucky does. Hydra put as many languages in his head as they could, anything for a mission to go smoothly. Walking towards the counter with a squeak in his step as bucky began to ask for a phone.

Grumbling under his breath as the man waddles around in the back, pulling out a flip phone and handing it to bucky as he began to type in the digits. On the other line, “hello, this is Blanca bakery, how may we serve you?” a woman's voice speaks through.

“Baklava” bucky mutters the code word, as the line quiets and clicks to a new one. Tapping his foot impatiently as brown noise plays from the end before it goes silent again.

“Name.” an agent speaks plainly.

Bucky clears his throat, stiffening his back like he would when speaking to someone of authority. “Agent 39, agent 104. James Barnes and y/n”

The line quiets again, and soon a very angry and concerned Maria Hill enters the line. “James, what the hell happened? Are you two okay?”

“We’re alive, I don't have time to explain it over the phone.” bucky starts, glancing towards you as you shift in your spot. “Did Steve and Sam make it?”

“They're okay and back at the compound, I traced the phone, I’m not even going to ask how you got to Portugal.” Maria sighs, “the jets will be out to your location soon, ETA 40 minutes.”

Bucky replies quickly and the line falls silent again. Handing the phone back to the man, he grumbles something under his breath in Portuguese and bucky nods his head in thanks. Turning back to you, taking you hand in hand with no thought, bucky begins to drag you out of the store.

“40 minutes, the beach,” he says, vaguely, but you know what it means. Squeezing his hand gently as he leads you back down to the sand. Not missing the small grin on his face when you do so.

It doesn't take long for you to settle next to Bucky on some random washed-up log, your thighs lining against each other, warming each of you enough. Your head drops on bucky’s shoulder, he relaxes under your touch.

You hum as you grab at bucky's hand, uncurling his finger and setting something in his palm. Bucky looks down in confusion, “what?”

His eyes widen at the sight of the large, shiny pearl in his palm. The moonlight reflected off the milky color, making it shine slightly. It's from you– the ocean, it looks like it belongs in an expensive jewelry shop, a museum, anywhere but bucky’s hand. You smack your lips, “think of it as an offering.”

“Why?” Bucky rolls the pearl around his hand, staring in awe before turning to you.

Your finger nudges at the pearl, feeling it under your skin as you lean closer to bucky’s warmth. “Pearls represent everlasting love, before birth and after death. They represent that fact of the water. I think you deserve that.”

The soft breeze lifts bucky's hair, sending a chill down his spine. His mind sputters for a response as he looks at you, in a daze. Instead, he trades words for a small kiss at the crown of your head. You soak up his touch.

“Thank you.” bucky settles on, “you deserve that too, I hope I can give that to you.”

You beam up at him, before settling close against him again. Letting yourself begin to drift off into sleep on his shoulder with the heavy knowledge of bucky's confession in your head. You're smiling when you fall asleep.

Bucky breaths softly, the calm still present deep in him. Because somehow you've drowned bucky without him realizing it, and he's more than happy to sink deeper as long as he’s with you. You– his calm, his anchor, his pearl, his ocean, his everything. The one who saw him for nothing except the good man he's trying to desperately to be, for you. And the one who constantly proves it to him, showing he is capable of love and all things good. Capable of being himself and at ease, even if it only lies in the middle of the Atlantic on the back of a blue whale. As long as he had you, Bucky would feel that again, feel okay.

As he waited for the jet, he continued to roll the precious pearl around in his hand. Losing himself in the soft sounds of your breath mixed with the peaceful sound of waves crashing against the sand, the taste of your lips and the salty water linger in his mouth.

Bucky knows and understands, that for the first time in 70 years, he’ll be okay.

#bucky x reader #james bucky barnes #bucky fic #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fluff #winter soldier #sebastian stan #seb stan

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ilydottie · 1 year

Text

| my muse, oh how it sings |

painter!albedo x muse!reader

warnings: afab reader, he/him pronouns for albedo, no mention of breasts on reader, reader is gender neutral, selfship coded because i’m highkey obsessed with this man, masturbation, no pronouns for reader, mention of pinning reader to the wall, albedo is hopelessly in love with reader, not sfw, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT,

a/n: i had brainrot and rushed to write this, so enjoy my fellow albedo lovers <3

Painter!albedo who can’t get over his beautiful muse. The muse he paints day and night, sunrise to sunset, and still, you haunt his dreams. His very being is consumed by every breathe you take, every single smile and flutter of your eyelashes you throw his way envelope him in a wave of euphoria. He finds himself waking up in a cold sweat, his fingers tangling in the sheets in search of his muse, but ultimately he is left with nothing but the bitter cold of nothingness.

Soon, his painting sessions with you become longer and more… personal. He asks you to take part in an experiment and so you do, trusting him with all your heart. You strip down into nothing but your own bare body and lay in his bed, where the blankets and soft pillows compliment the very curves and edges of your body which he adores. Taking his time he sketches the outline of your body, then dips his brushes into the paint and begins to paint your pretty lips. He continues this until he gets to your hips, that’s when his breath becomes too heavy and labored to continue.

“How about a break?” He says as if he isn’t rushing off to take care of the heat pooling at his very core. Thankfully, you nod and and he frantically sets down his brushes to go to a separate room.

Closing the door and quickly locking it, he pulls out his hardened cock and begins to fist it furiously. The only thing on his mind being your insatiable body and how badly he wants to ravage you, take you for himself and only himself. Albedo wasn’t selfish by any means, but fuck, a jealous man was capable of many things through the sins of his desire. And Albedo was left wanting, needing, nearly begging for more. His existence now depended on you and how sweetly you could sing for him, and oh, how he wished you’d sing your sweet song for him someday.

Albedo pretended his cum being smeared by his hands was your mouth lapping up his cum, licking up every last drop as you made direct eye contact with him. Albedo had the same fantasy whenever he ran away abruptly from his artwork, all in a hurry to relieve the aching in his heart and the throbbing in his core. You’d always look up into his eyes which were brimming with tears, as he looked away in shame he’d continue stroking his cock and pretending it was those pretty lips, or maybe even those hands of yours. Gentle and rough all at the same time, and in the most perfect of ways too.

And as Albedo came in his shaking hands, he swore to himself. Too caught up in his own daydream to realize he was talking to a version of you that didn’t exist, and may as well never.

“Fuck! Yes, jus’ like that. Yeaahhhh, th-that’s i-it! Fuck, baby you feel so good.” He moaned so loudly he worried (and as almost sure) you had heard.

Then, after every last drop was spared into his hands and onto the red carpet flooring, he fell back into the chair, completely out of breath and totally enamored by you. In that moment he wasn’t sure if he wanted to run out and confess his love for you or pin you to the wall and fuck you, but for now he’d have to live in this daydream where the two of you weren’t separated by solid walls and locked doors.

#albedo x reader #albedo x you #albedo x y/n #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin x y/n #albedo smut #genshin smut

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yanderes-galore · 11 months

Note

Hi! I really like your work

Can I ask for some headcannons of injustice scarecrow with a former student darling please? One that now wants nothing to do with him?

Hello! I'm really happy you like my work ^^ I'll see what I can do for this variation of Scarecrow. Not entirely sure what you meant by "former student" so I did what I could. I used the backstory on the Injustice 2 wiki.

Yandere! Injustice! Scarecrow with Former Apprentice! Darling

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Manipulation, Obsession, Drugging/Gassing, Dubious partnership, Human experimentation mentioned, Minor sadism, Kidnapping, Violence, Slight protective behavior, Murder, Delusional behavior.

Scarecrow, also known as Jonathan Crane, is a yandere who would know how to get into his darling's head.

Regardless of the nature of his feelings he would know just what to do to control you.

Deep down Jonathan Crane is a traumatized man.

It all links back to his father and ever since then he hasn't really put feelings towards anyone.

He's a villain who weaponizes fear to control others with experiments.

The fact he manages to get someone to train under him is an impressive feat.

There could've been several reasons you decided to work under him.

The one that comes to mind mostly is manipulation, he could've used fear against you to make you his apprentice for one reason or another.

That or maybe you actually did willingly join him.

Perhaps you look up to him in some way?

Either way, being Scarecrow's apprentice gives you valuable knowledge.

You'd know fear toxin formulas, you may hold some sort of resistance to it depending on the formula, out of anyone you probably know Jonathan Crane the most.

It takes some time before Scarecrow truly opens up to his apprentice.

He wants you to partake in experiments and truly understand what he does.

It's a strange but possibly a welcome change when Scarecrow, whom you now refer to as Jonathan or 'Mr. Crane', begins to show care for you.

When he first had you around, you were often a subject of experimentation like all the rest.

Although... Crane soon began to lessen his experiments on you, instead opting to have you help experiment on others.

He began to enjoy having a 'partner in crime'.

One way or another he began to form a connection with you.

It's up to you when it comes to the type.

Perhaps it's simply the bond between teacher and student.

That... or it could be something much deeper.

Scarecrow never went in detail with you about how he felt towards you.

All you knew at the time was he cared for you.

While he liked to see your fear... he didn't like it when others gave you it.

It's like he didn't want you to be scared... like he had always been.

It was a major change for someone like him.

You really are like a weakness to him.

Being a villain... he has definitely slaughtered others for you.

He has kidnapped and killed before.

Obviously if someone is troubling his apprentice... he'll paint the walls with their blood.

He doesn't mind the mess.

In fact, he likes it when he causes you fear.

All the blood he spills is usually for you, his dear apprentice.

The one he loves most.

Granted, there's only so much the human psyche can handle before it breaks.

When you choose to separate from your mentor is most likely when you feel yourself slipping.

You feel you can't deal with all the blood, murder, and fear any longer.

Crane's affection may feel okay at most... but you more than anyone knows what he's capable of.

Truthfully, without the fear gas polluting your mind, Jonathan Crane is just a guy.

He's a secretive man with trauma, one who has chosen to confide in you through unhealthy means.

His hugs feels tight.

His words always feel cryptic, often little mentions of fear and how sometimes murder is necessary.

He's corrupting you... you feel you can hardly breathe around him... which is partially true.

You want to leave... the gas is too much... you need a breath of fresh air.

You need to be away from him.

So... you execute a plan.

You contact heroes in Gotham for help, most likely Batman.

You stage it as Batman taking you away, saving you.

You have a feeling if you try to tell Jonathan you want nothing to do with him on your own... things wouldn't go well.

This is your plan...

A plan that starts great, but the end crashes and burns.

When Scarecrow realizes Batman has taken you away from him... that may be the final straw in his own psyche.

He blames Batman more than you or himself at first.

Until he learns the truth.

He even makes it a goal to find you and take you back.

A teacher must do anything to aid his apprentice, shouldn't he?

Meanwhile you're getting help.

You talk to a therapist, you try to get your life back together.

Scarecrow is a bad influence... he's a dangerous man.

A dangerous man who refuses to believe the fact you no longer wish to be his apprentice.

You try to hide away and distance yourself away from Scarecrow.

His name and alias leave a bad taste in your mouth.

You're reminded constantly of the smell... the thought of the gas polluting your lungs makes you ill.

You remind yourself things are better this way.

You won't have to deal with him anymore....

This is something Jonathan Crane doesn't let slide.

He won't accept the fact you want nothing to do with him now.

He's going to track you down... set up a little trap...

Then gas your home and steal you from within it.

Scarecrow was sure to make a new formula for you.

After all... you're immune to most of the others.

You are his most prized pupil...

Tying you up in a chair within a dark room was easy for a villain slinking around Gotham.

By the time you wake up, Jonathan Crane will be there.

The panic on your face is a comforting sight to him.

He truthfully doesn't care how you left him... be it running away or being kidnapped.

He can see in your eyes a pleasant little emotion that he adores.

Fear...

Fear caused by him standing in front of you while you can't move.

That is what tells him that your feelings have changed.

While he still wants to ruin Batman, he wasn't the reason you left it seems...

You don't like him anymore, do you?

That's too bad... a shame, really.

But that's okay, he still has plans for you.

Perhaps you deserve this? To be scared by him?

You did run away... there's no lying about that.

He already knows what you've done, dear...

Students need lessons, don't they?

You feel your fear fester when Crane turns on the gas... the green smog clouding your vision.

By the time it clears you're met with a monster in his place.

Said monster grins... circling you like a predatory shark.

"Welcome back, my dear. You are quite cruel for abandoning me back there. Perhaps my student needs a new lesson...to learn that running from their teacher is not... permitted."

You try to find apologies, excuses, something to calm him and spare you...

He merely shushes you.

He finds delight in the fear you exude.

He knows that fear is directed at him... it may not be love or care...

Yet he loves it all the same when it comes to you.

"Enough excuses. Let your lesson begin...."

#yandere injustice 2 #yandere dc comics #yandere scarecrow #yandere injustice 2 scarecrow #yandere jonathan crane

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alovesongtheywrote · 1 year

Text

Get Home Safe | Eddie Munson x Reader x Steve Harrington

♥ Summary: Eddie comes home late from a gig at the Hideout. This would probably be fine if you and Steve weren't traumatized and prone to anxiety. If it's any consolation, Eddie feels pretty bad about it. [Eddie Munson x Gender Neutral!Reader]

♥ Warnings: bit of groping, a bit of dirty talk, making out, discussions of sex, anxiety, slight angst, and a smidge of trauma. 18+, Minors Do Not Interact.

♥ Word count: 2,766

♥♥♥

Eddie always did his best to get home to you and Steve in at least a semi-timely fashion. It was a bit difficult depending on the day. Some nights, he could get off of work and run right home to you. Other nights, he was playing at the Hideout, and he couldn’t get back until the earliest hours of the morning. Still, he always did his best- and his efforts were deeply appreciated.

It wasn’t something you or Steve had demanded of him- it was his choice. After almost getting mauled to death by bats, and after watching you and Steve risk your lives with an almost aggressive abandon, he wasn’t the biggest fan of being away from you. So, Eddie would try to get home as soon as he could, and you and Steve got used to that.

So, when Eddie slipped through the door at two in the morning on what was now a Sunday, he felt really bad.

He found you and Steve passed out on the couch, bodies tangled in such a way that it was clear you had been waiting up for him. Steve was using your chest as a pillow. One of your hands was tangled in his hair, and the other held the keys to Steve’s car.

You were both dressed in a strange combination of your regular clothes and pyjamas- Eddie’s pyjamas if he was seeing things right. Your legs were wrapped in warm flannel that very much did not belong to you, and Steve’s chest was covered by an oversized shirt of Eddie’s that someone had converted into a crop top during the Summer.

Eddie felt a pang of emotion in his chest. He didn’t even care that the two of you were wearing his clothes- and how could he mind? By the looks of it, the two of you had almost gone out to try and find him. Had he really been gone that long? The clock on the wall said yes. With a sigh, he made his way towards you, kicking off his shoes and pulling off his jacket as he went.

He pressed a kiss against your temple and one to the back of Steve’s head before he ventured off to the kitchen. He flicked on the light above the stove and pulled open the fridge door, bathing the room in warm orange light. Eddie just stood there for a minute, eyes glazing over as he stared into the fridge. He jumped when he felt two arms sliding around his waist.

“Whatcha lookin’ for?” you asked, your voice playful though it betrayed your exhaustion.

“Oh, y’know. Nothin’ much, just a snack or somethin’,” Eddie let the fridge door close as he turned to face you, “Oh, look at that. I found one.”

He grabbed your sides tightly and pulled you in close, peppering kisses against the column of your throat as you giggled at his horrendous joke.

“You’re terrible!” a smile painted your face, though something in your eyes began to change. The joy faded- not into anger or sadness, but to worry, “And you’re home late.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m sorry. I got held up. I should’ve called-”

“Mmm, yeah, a little bit,” your smirk was still in place. So was the anxiety in your eyes, “Steve was losing his mind, y’know? He wanted to go out looking for you, so… yeah. Maybe call next time?”

“Yeah, that was my bad. I’m sorry-”

“Hey, hey,” you placed a hand on Eddie’s face, gently brushing at the smudged black makeup beneath his left eye with your thumb, “There’s no need to apologize, just-”

You cut yourself off. Eddie looked at you with anticipation, waiting for whatever you had to say next. You didn’t speak. You just leaned closer, pressing your lips to Eddie’s collarbone, to his neck and jaw. His skin was warm, and of course, he still smelled like the Hideout. You didn’t mind. You just kissed your way up until your lips met Eddie’s.

You could feel his arms wrapping around you, pulling you close, sending sparks through your body. You wanted to stay like this forever, to keep him like this forever- warm and safe in your kitchen- but you had a sentence to finish.

“Just call next time, okay, baby? We- we thought something happened to you, and we got scared. Honestly, if you didn’t get home by-” you looked at the clock, “Now, I was actually going to let Steve go looking for you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhmm. And I would’ve gone with him. We would’ve gone out, found you, gotten tacos, gone home, had mind-blowing-”

“Tacos, huh? And what if you didn’t find me?”

“Oh, we were gonna find you,” you pulled him in by his shoulders, “You wouldn’t have had a choice. We were gonna track your ass down, no matter what bullshit you got into. You’re ours, pretty boy. We aren’t letting you escape that easily.”

Eddie’s gaze softened for a second- something about being wanted, being missed got to him. Before you could say anything else, his lips were against yours. His fingers dug into you, hands holding you desperately. You could feel yourself start to burn up. In every place your body touched his, your skin caught fire.

He broke the kiss with a shit-eating grin on his face, “And then we would’ve gotten tacos?”

You took a second to catch your breath, “Fuck yeah. We would have gotten-” he stopped you with another kiss.

Your hands moved down to claw at his back and grip his shirt. He gave your sides a squeeze before letting his hands move further down. You gasped slightly when he gave your ass a squeeze, and he used the moment to slip his tongue past your lips.

While you tried, unsuccessfully, to catch your breath, Eddie pushed you back slowly. He maneuvered your body through the kitchen until your spine bumped against the counter. Without a word, you jumped up, spreading your thighs so that he could stand between them.

“God, you’re so good for me, baby,” he whispered, brushing his lips over your neck and shoulder, “I’m so sorry I was late-”

“I know. It doesn’t matter now, just-” your words were cut off by a soft moan as Eddie bit down on a particularly sensitive patch of skin, “Fuck!”

“Oh? ‘Just fuck?’ Is that what you want, baby? Because I can handle that. Or we could wake Steve up and get him in on it-”

You could feel your cheeks catch fire- your entire body was burning, really, all because of him, “You’re a little shit, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” he pulled away enough to meet your eyes. The affection in his gaze nearly drowned you. He kissed you again, placing his hands on your legs and pushing them further apart, “Nice pants, by the way.”

“Oh, thank you,” you grabbed his hand as he lowered himself, kissing down your chest and stomach. Your heart was racing, “They are, quite literally, your pants.”

He peered up at you before quickly pressing a peck to your thigh. His fingers played with the waistband. His skin felt like ice against yours, and you desperately wanted to feel his touch everywhere.

“Get it? I’m in your pants, I got in-”

“You’re amazing,” he lifted the hem of your shirt a bit. His lips gently grazed over the skin beneath. That fucker was teasing you, “I got it.”

“Good!” you paused as he kissed back up your body, pulling off your shirt as he went. He tossed your shirt to the ground- which was fine, it was his shirt- took your face in his hands and pressed another kiss to your lips. His hands ran through your hair, gently pulling at a few strands.

“I love you,” you spoke, your lips still pressed against his. It was a little awkward, but it was sweet- it was something Eddie appreciated, even if he didn’t slow down to show it.

“I love you, too! Now if you could just-”

Eddie grabbed your other hand and pushed you back onto the counter. You cried out, though the sound turned to laughter as he hopped up after you like some kind of gremlin. Eddie slipped his hands back into yours, pinning them above your head. He returned his lips to your neck and shoulders, leaning down until his body hovered over yours. His hair fell in your face. You resisted the urge to bite it.

“Hi!” you grinned, wrapping your legs around Eddie’s hips, pulling him down to grind against you slightly.

“Hi!” his lips met yours quickly before they ventured back downwards, leaving a trail of bite marks and bruises all the way to your ribs. You let yourself relax beneath him, shutting your eyes and letting Eddie do as he liked. His hands squeezed yours as he moved to kiss across your chest.

“So, how was your-”

Eddie was cut off by a cough.

You tilted your head back to see Steve, standing in the shadow of the living room, his face bathed in the warm kitchen light. His arms were crossed, his eyebrows furrowed, and he looked so very annoyed.

“Get off the counter,” he waved a hand in your direction, and you laughed as Eddie sheepishly let go of your hands and pushed himself to his feet. You sat up but stayed in your place.

“Ohhh,” you wiggled a little bit, “Someone’s in trouble.”

“You, shh. I’ll deal with you in a minute,” Steve kissed your bare shoulder as he stepped into the kitchen. His eyes were completely fixed on Eddie. The house fell silent. Steve’s hands moved to his hips, and you desperately wished you had some popcorn or something because this was going to be interesting.

“You little shit. Do you know how worried we were? We thought you were dead or something, what the hell is wrong with you!?”

“Steve, I’m sorry, I-”

“Nope! Ah, ah, ah, no, you are gonna stay quiet until I’m done.”

“Oh, he’s in full mom mode,” you whispered. Eddie caught your eye, and you gave him a little mock salute, “Rest in pieces, soldier.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Seriously, everyone who lives in this house- all our friends have nearly died too many times for you to not give us a call. There’s too much weird shit under this town, too many people who want to kill you, specifically-”

“I know, I know, Stevie. It just slipped my mind-”

“Slipped your- slipped your mind!?” Steve pushed Eddie against the fridge, though the action was not aggressive. Honestly, it was about as gentle as it could have been, “We thought you were dead, Munson. We thought that the jocks had gotten to you- or one of those fuckin dogs had crawled up through a hole somewhere and pulled you back down there.”

You hopped off the counter and crossed the short distance to the fridge. You softly placed a hand on Steve’s arm, though you didn’t try to stop him. He was right. You had calmed down quite a bit upon seeing Eddie safe and alive in your kitchen, but before that? You had been worse than Steve. You let him keep going.

“We thought we were going to find you in a ditch somewhere- and then you come home, and the first thing you do is try to fuck our partner on the counter?”

“Hey, we were gonna wake you up and get you to join us.”

“He’s right,” you gave Steve’s bicep a squeeze, “We were going to get you.”

“That’s not-! No, I don’t care about that,” Steve shook his head. His hair got into his eyes, and he let go of Eddie to push it back, “That’s not a problem- I mean, it’s unsanitary, but-”

You gave Eddie a look over Steve’s shoulder. The look said, “Mom Mode.”

“We would’ve cleaned up after-”

“Okay, again, that’s not the point. The point is-” Steve turned slightly and grabbed your hand before turning back to face Eddie, “The point is- just wake me up next time, okay? And call if you’re gonna be late? I like knowing that you’re, y’know, alive and safe.”

A bright smile overtook Eddie’s features, and you wrapped your other hand around Steve’s arm at the sight. Your boys were so pretty, holy fuck.

“Aw, don’t get soft on me now, Stevie. C’mere,” Eddie grabbed Steve’s cropped shirt and pulled him forward, pressing a kiss to his plush lips. Once he pulled away, Eddie held a hand out to you, “Come on, sweet thing. You too.”

You bounced a little bit before springing into Eddie’s arms. You could feel him smiling against your lips as he kissed you. When he finished, he pulled you against his side, wrapping his arm around your waist. He did the same to Steve, wrapping his other arm around the boy’s ribs, letting his fingers dig into his side in an attempt to draw out a smile. Eddie was successful.

“Y’know, if either of you ever come home this late, I’ll never let you live it down,” Eddie said, settling in between you and Steve.

You laughed a little as you let your head rest on Eddie’s shoulder. The three of you fell silent, letting the soft buzz of kitchen machinery fill the space. Your fingers traced across Eddie’s arms, over the scars and the black ink of his tattoos. You could feel Steve reach out for you, and the moment he made contact, he began to trace mindless patterns against your bare skin.

You let out a little sigh and turned to fully bury your face in Eddie’s chest, “I love you. Both of you. I’m glad you’re home.”

“Me too. I miss you guys when you’re not around,” Eddie said, voice muffled as he placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Aw, don’t get soft on us now, Munson,” Steve now had a shit-eating grin of his own. He wore it proudly.

“Soft? Oh, baby, I am far from soft. And since you won’t let me take this lovely specimen on the counter-” he took you into his arms, spinning you until you were facing him and your back was facing Steve. He pushed you against him, pinning you against the wall of Steve’s firm chest, “How about we take this to the bedroom, huh?”

“I’m down for that!”

“You guys,” Steve said, pulling his shirt off, “It’s two in the morning.”

“And?”

“And…” Steve couldn’t say much else. He wanted this just as much as you and Eddie did, “And c’mere,” he grabbed Eddie’s face, kissing him over your shoulder. You let out a cackle of pure joy, burying your face in Eddie’s shoulder and leaving small purple marks on his skin.

“Let’s go, then,” Steve wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you backwards, heading off towards the bedroom.

Eddie began to follow, but you stopped him, “Ah, ah, ah! Pick up that shirt, first!”

You gestured vaguely to the shirt he’d thrown on the ground.

He smiled, raising his hands in surrender and taking a step back, “As you wish, baby.”

“Thank you, Eds!” The end of your sentence morphed into a startled cry as Steve continued to walk back towards the bedroom, pulling you with him as he went.

Eddie watched, grinning as you and Steve disappeared down the hall. He was pretty sure that the second the two of you were alone, you would come up with some devious sexual scheme to punish him for coming home late. He did not mind that in the slightest- if anything, he was looking forward to it.

He grabbed your shirt off the floor- technically, it was his shirt. He folded it haphazardly and threw it on the couch as he walked through the house after you. As he approached the door to the bedroom, he could hear you and Steve whispering to each other. Suddenly, your voice was fully audible.

“Seriously, though, I’m just glad he’s okay.”

“I know, I know. I am too. I was getting a little worried, there-”

“A little? Steve, you were getting ready to commit a federal crime.”

“... maybe I was, but so were you!”

“You’re right- we would do a lot of stupid shit for that boy, huh?”

“And we have. And we’ll do it again.”

Outside the room, Eddie smiled. He should’ve gotten home sooner.

“So, we’re using the handcuffs on him, right?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely.”

Y’know what, never mind. Getting home late works too.

♥ A/N: lmk if the formatting got weird lol

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x gender neutral reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x gender neutral reader #steve harrington x gn!reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington imagine #minors dni

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kidddoz · 6 months

Text

Lotftober, day 22 - Boat Ride Home

The gentle sway of the boat made him feel nauseous, and his empty stomach made him lose equilibrium. There was something peaceful in hearing the waves crashing against the boat as if they sang him a lullaby. He felt his body aching with the sprays of salty water over his skin and decided he was safe now. His shoulders relaxed, his muscles shook, and he gripped the rail as he felt his legs losing energy, and so, his knees fell to the cold board.

Ralph's every ounce of energy left his whole body, so he decided to sit there, his hands tangled into the cold metal railing to avoid falling into the sea. He sat there in silence. His mind was fuzzy and completely blank, still unable to understand what was happening. Where he was, who he was.

Kilometres before him, an island was standing still, slowly getting smaller and smaller. The coral reef shone with an aquamarine glow, and the white sand ended up dishevelled by some sandcastles and rocks next to them, along with footprints all over the hot sand. He remembered running as his life depended on not burning his soles.

The green tops of the trees trembled thanks to the winds and the still-burning fire that was just about to engulf the last traces of life there. The ripe fruit boiled into mash, and a few pigs ran in utter fear. Their homes, their families, all of that was gone. The birds were the luckiest in this situation since they could fly anywhere else, to some better place.

And so Ralph sat there, unable to utter a word nor have an emotion at the piece of art standing in front of him. He never knew the island could be this beautiful if seen from a considerable distance. But soon, he realised the white smoke was turning grey and then black, the cloud of smoke quickly intoxicating the entire island as the flames grew until they reached the trees. It crept all over to the top of the mountain, and it made him smile slightly. Now, there was a fire at the top of the mountain. It means they will be rescued.

He turned his whole body, facing the monstrous boat he was in. It was a giant, metallic organism with soldiers peeking at him with a mix of pity and curiosity. Even if it was just moments ago, Ralph could not remember how he got up there. All he knew was that all the kids went to the inner part of the ship. Maybe they would be assessed for some burn scars, or they were getting something to eat, something that was not fruit or pig.

Looking out of the corner of his eyes, Ralph encountered a fire burning inside the ship, as if a piece of the destroyed island was a souvenir. Jack sat, his back against the wall, still shocked at the view. He was wrapped up in a blanket, and the paint on his face was almost gone now, revealing a pair of exhausted and shineless eyes.

As Ralph walked closer and closer to him, he could hear the sobs until he sat beside him and covered himself with the now-shared blanket. The silence was almost peaceful, there was nothing to say anymore. So they just stared at the island that was once their home.

______________

This banger shouts Ralph, that's why I needed to add it.

To be honest, I've never imagined this situation, so it was pretty fun and interesting writing about it.

#lotf #lord of the flies #lotftober #lotf ralph #lotf jack #Spotify

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justsomeclintasha · 1 year

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@tashas-hawk I thought I posted this forever ago but I can’t find it so I guess I didn’t. I know it’s not what you were looking for but thought you might like it anyway? ( @scarlettjohanssones )

Update: turns out I had posted it before but I’m leaving this here anyway

Finally, back at home. Unlocking the door to his apartment, he shuffles inside and drops his bags on the floor. It’s late- or early- depending on how he wants to look at it, which at the moment, is not at all. All he’s been thinking about is his bed for the last six hours. He steps into his room, right into the barrel of a gun aimed between his eyes.

“Nat?” She swears and backs away, laying the weapon on the nightstand.

“You should have knocked.” It’s as close to an apology as he’s going to get. She settles back in his bed, pulling the covers to her chin.

“It’s my room,” he defends. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“Needed somewhere to crash. Didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“Something wrong with your apartment?”

“Water pipe burst. Getting it fixed tomorrow.” He strips off his dirty clothes and searches through the clean pile on his floor. “Hurry up. I’m cold,” she mumbles, her voice tired. She curls into him immediately as he joins her under the covers. They’re both asleep within minutes.

XXXXX

“Breakfast,” she offers, setting it on the table. A perk of his apartment- their favorite cafe is right down the street. Arguably, they have the best bagels in the city, maybe even the world. At least according to him.

“Coffee, a bagel, and strawberry cream cheese? You really do know the way to my heart.”

“Can’t say I never did anything for you.”

“You want me to take a look at that water pipe before you call someone? I could probably fix it.”

“Uh, no, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I could-“

“It’s fine.” His eyes narrow, and she’s suddenly very interested in spreading cream cheese on her bagel.

“You’re a shit liar around me, you know that?”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle.” Push too hard, and she’s going to shut down. Subject change.

“Mission was boring. Hot during the day, freezing at night. I’ve seen enough sand to last a lifetime. And you know, I used to think camels were nice, but not anymore. Could you believe he threw me off? In the middle of the desert, just dumped me off his back!” His smile is contagious, and soon she’s laughing along with him as he recounts his mission.

XXXXX

He drops off his report and decides to swing by her apartment despite her earlier protests. Hopefully she’s not there and he can clean up some of the water damage for her. His key turns in the lock. A brushing noise comes from inside, stops as he pushes the door open. The smell of fresh paint stings his nostrils.

“I told you I could handle it.”

“I know, I-“ His breath catches in his throat. Someone has spray painted Soviet symbols on her walls, thrown her books on the floor and covered them with an angry stripe of paint. Even her comforter has been destroyed- he can only see the first few letters, but can guess what is says. He swallows down the rage building inside of him. It’s not the time to be angry. Wordlessly, he grabs a roller and begins to help cover it all.

“Let’s get some air.” He’s grateful she breaks the silence. They step outside onto the fire escape, settling down on the cool metal. Her legs dangle over the side. She pulls out a cigarette, lights it with shaking hands.

“You can’t stay here. Smell of paint is too strong,” he remarks as if he’s stating the obvious, ignoring all the other reasons why she shouldn’t. “Stay with me.”

“Thanks.”

“You know you could just.. stay with me.” She takes another drag and doesn’t respond. He’ll take it for now.

He stuffs the comforter in a trash bag. Broken coffee mugs from the kitchen follow. She grabs another one for the books and halfway through he notices her wiping her eyes.

“Hey.” She shakes her head, not looking at him as she shoves another one in. A small photo album makes her pause, and he steps closer. He recognizes that book. It may be the most important one she owns. She’s staring at the undamaged cover, afraid that her pictures are gone, the only ones she has from her past. She can’t bring herself to do it. Slowly he reaches out and opens it for her. It’s not damaged. They missed this one. She clutches it to her chest, tears running freely down her cheeks. They dampen his shirt as he pulls her into his arms. “It’s okay, Nat. It’s okay.”

XXXXX

It’s only temporary.

They’ve finished moving the last of her things into his apartment. It feels like she’s always been here. A routine has already been established- three snooze alarms in the morning before work, which leaves just enough time for sleepy kisses and breakfast from the cafe as they drive. He makes dinner. She tries to help. She soon becomes banned from cooking, so she does the laundry instead.

Shooting arrows is not allowed in the living room, and neither is throwing knives.

He loves the smell of her shampoo in the morning, and he’s even upped his own, replacing the 2in1 bottle that was almost empty anyway. Her toothbrush lives next to his on the counter, along with her hairbrush, and he owns a lotion now.

They watch tons of movies and she buys more books. She stacks them in the living room. He builds a bookshelf in the corner for her, then a second in the bedroom when the first one overflows. She finds herself laughing more than she has in a long time. He could listen to that sound forever.

She could say it’s only temporary, but what’s the point of lying now?

#clintasha #clint barton x natasha romanoff #clintasha fanfic

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remyfire · 11 months

Note

ohh my god 66 for beejhawk would be so good, if the spirit grabs you

Kink Writing Prompts 66.) Caught masturbating (THE MOOD DID INDEED STRIKE ME. I hope this is as fun for you as it was for me~)

In a MASH unit, there are risks one is forced to take every day of their life, and everyone is familiar with them. There might be a sniper. At any moment, they might have to bug out. The food in the mess tent could kill them without any warning.

The biggest risk happens every time someone goes to grab a shower.

There are small, frail pockets of time that people get to themselves here, and there's a basic understanding that if you head into the shower when there's an unoccupied stall, you're accepting the danger of finding someone with their hand working feverishly just out of view. Everyone does it. You've just gotta be perfunctory about it and be ready to be teased for the rest of the day if you're not as quick at pulling away as you should be.

Hawk, fortunately, has gotten very good at being speedy.

It doesn't hurt, having a guy like BJ attached to his hip for a good twelve or eighteen hours out of the day. He's got plenty of material to pull from. And as nice as it would be to take his time with a nice, long jerk-off session—maybe fingering himself, milking his prostate just to see how far he can take his release—he'll have to save that for the next time he scores some R&R.

Every inch of Beej is so good looking, it's almost intimidating, but there's always an aspect that'll catch Hawk depending on the day. Sometimes it's his legs, so long and strong and begging to be bitten. Maybe it's his hands with such beautiful, elegant fingers that he wants to suck on for hours.

Today, with water still hot on his skin, Hawk tips his head forward with a shiver as he works his cock, and he thinks very specifically about BJ's torso.

He's so keyed up that he can barely let himself settle on one part of it for long. He wants to nuzzle his thick pelt of hair, to bite his trapezius, to press his hand into his stomach and watch how the skin pillows gently around his touch. He wonders what it looks like when there's long, red fingernail stripes painting Beej's back when he's fucking someone so well that they can't do anything but cling and ride the wave.

A quiet whimper breaks from Hawk as he digs his fingers into the stall's edge, so close to his release. In his mind's eye he pictures Beej smirking up at him as he pulls his shirt all the way up to his collarbone, murmurs for Hawk to cover him in his—

The door creaks and Hawkeye's eyes fly open as he rips his hand away, slams it into the stall so hard that it makes an audible impact.

"Whoa!" A deep laugh. "Did I scare you?"

Hawk twists his back to BJ with a forced chuckle of his own. "Jesus, Beej, warn a guy, will ya?"

"Ah, sorry, I'll knock the next time I'm heading into the public shower," BJ murmurs, amused.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. It's one thing to be interrupted while you're jerking off, and it's another thing entirely for it to be the subject of your fantasy just strolling in right when you're approaching the point of no return. Hawkeye glances down. His cock is aching, flushed and angry with him for straddling his peak, forcing himself to walk back.

Behind him, he hears BJ slipping out of his robe, the stall door opening, the clink of his shower kit. "Everything all right, Hawk?"

"Peachy." He's already washed himself, but he feels for the bar of soap and starts lathering his body again.

A pause. Only when BJ turns his own shower on does he speak. "Soooo what're you looking at?"

Hawk stares a hole through the canvas wall, his mind taking a moment to catch up. "Oh, I was thinking we should consider wallpaper."

"Wallpaper?"

"Yeah. Something red. Maybe floral. Why not?" Oh, he dearly hopes the water turns cold soon. The fear's not doing enough.

"Well, isn't it a little gauche to paper a bathroom? Not to mention the humidity."

Hawkeye sets the soap aside and clears his throat. "All right, all right, if you'd rather do paint—"

"Hawk." BJ's tone is warm.

"Yeah, yeah?"

"You can just finish it off, you know."

He comes very close to choking on his own spit as he peeks over his shoulder. "Do what now?"

BJ smirks, eyes shut as he scrubs his face. "C'mon. You think this is the first time I walked in on that? I was a jock. I lived in a frat house. Literally nothing I haven't seen before."

I wanna say this is a completely different situation. Unbidden, his eyes skim down BJ's whole figure before Hawk forces himself to look at his face, nothing else. "You don't think that'd be a little...weird, huh?"

BJ shrugs. He scrubs his hair next, suds starting to cut marks down his cheeks. "It's sex. It's relief. What's more normal than that?"

There is a terrifying door that BJ's opening up for Hawkeye right now, and he really has no idea what he's doing. There are two beasts at war in his body—the one snarling for any opportunity to give into the hunger he feels when Beej is nearby, the aching one in his skull that's whispering about what a shit idea that is. It'll make everything hurt worse in the end. There's not a piece of him who could pretend he'd be happy with just that, no other part of BJ.

But he starts to relax a little more in the stall, letting the chain go finally to preserve a bit of warm water for whoever might traipse in here next. "Oh, and I'm sure you'd say the same thing to somebody like...like Frank or Charles or Colonel Potter."

Beej furrows his brow. He ducks under the spray and rinses himself clean. "Ah...no. Probably not. Just you."

Heat surges straight back into his gut. "Just me."

"Mm. But let's be honest, Hawk." When he opens his eyes, he stares straight into Hawkeye's. "If you walked in on me jerking off, you'd tell me to finish too."

Hawkeye takes a very long, very slow, very deep breath purely because if he doesn't, he's gonna faint right fucking here. They don't look away. They don't even blink. There's a million different ways he could take those words, and as the humid steam continues to swirl around them, he uses it as a cloud to speak one uncertain reply. "Okay. So you do it too, then."

BJ actually laughs, one of those big ones that makes the sun come out. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. If it's so...normal and all."

Hawk expects BJ to balk, to make a joke of it and grab his towel and start finishing up. But he still doesn't turn away. He shakes his head with a little sigh and leans into the stall wall too, aligned with Hawk, separated only a couple of feet apart by one thin door that hides nothing from the imagination. "All right. Sure. Why not?"

There's no way this is happening. Objectively this is the most ridiculous thing Hawk's gotten himself into, and that's saying quite a lot. The world he exists in can't possess a reality where he could goad BJ Hunnicutt, happily married heterosexual man, into jerking off with him.

But as Beej drops his hand to his cock, Hawk chances a glance, and the other man's already half hard as it is.

Maybe it's just a further evolution of the competitiveness that colors their every interaction. Maybe it's just another sign of how being in a tiny compound outside of Uijeongbu has morphed reality into something so far beyond what they're used to that even this isn't that big of a deal. Maybe it's just a big joke to him.

None of those incredibly reasonable thoughts make sense of why BJ is leaning back on one elbow as he hums and slowly tugs at his cock, but...

Hawkeye's the worst of men tonight, he thinks. He's had integrity in the past. He's leaned into it time and time again. But right now, the only part of it that he can really grab hold of is just to look away—not to violate whatever thin boundary might still exist by using BJ's living, breathing, married body as fantasy fodder.

He's not sure why he bothers, really. The second he closes his eyes, it's all he can see anyway.

Hawk returns to himself, long strokes that start to settle the millions of conflicting emotions in his body. The pleasure running through him is electric, like grabbing a live wire, and he chokes back a quiet moan until it's nothing more than the edge of a whine.

But he guesses BJ still hears it because the sound he makes in reply can't be described as anything but a growl.

Fuck. Just one more look. That's it, and he's done.

The moment he turns his head, BJ's already watching him.

It's probably...just...another part of their competitive nature, that they don't look away, that they're... Yeah, no, makes perfect sense, for the exact same reason as why BJ's lips quirk as his lashes fall low, as he turns to squeeze himself into the wall next to the shower head instead so they're facing each other, and...

Hawk shrinks back against his own stall, licking his lips, his eyes flicking down once, twice, before he becomes aware of how Beej is watching his hand in turn. There's no way, there's no way—

One more rough moan held back behind Beej's closed lips and Hawkeye throws his head back with a shuddering gasp, coming in fire-hot spurts that he just barely manages to catch in his palm.

"Fuck," BJ spits, just sharp enough that it draws Hawk's startled attention, almost takes the edge off his own orgasm. But the moment he gets to watch how Beej tips his head back and lets go, Hawk's wobbly knees threaten to drop him to the ground. Beej lets out a single groan as he comes, and Hawkeye loses himself in the details—how his cock twitches with each second of release, how his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, how...how his cum coats his stomach, his chest, dripping down with the water, how he...

Fuck. Fuck. He's so fucking gorgeous. It's not fair.

BJ rolls his neck with a widening smirk, fingers coming to rest lightly on his stomach. He moves back into the path of the shower spray and scrubs his belly clean with slow, deliberate moves. As though he's aware of exactly what he's doing to Hawk, he tightens his stomach, each part of his rectus abdominis flexing.

A new hunger twists itself into knots within him. He wishes he'd been bold enough to... His mouth waters, jaw aching from how tightly he's clenching it.

Only when Beej grabs his towel does Hawk remember he hasn't moved a fucking inch since he finished. He lunges for his own chain and scrubs his slick hand off, but the movement in the corner of his eye makes him flinch.

It's BJ, dried off completely, reaching across the wall. He hesitates. As the air trembles around them, Hawk holds his breath as the fuzziness in his skull bleeds into uncertainty.

BJ tilts his head. Reaches a little further. His fingers are gentle as they wrap around the back of Hawkeye's neck and draw him in, step by step, until he can leave the softest peck on Hawk's lips.

Time stands completely fucking still. Hawk leans after him once BJ starts to back up, which only makes Beej grin harder. "We should go grab dinner," Beej murmurs.

Hawk blinks wildly. "BJ?"

"C'mon." He looks Hawk up and down. He snags his robe and laughs. "You made me build up quite an appetite."

It's...it's okay? Nothing's... The smile's infectious, creeping across Hawkeye's face as well as he grabs his own towel. "Beej."

"Last one there's a rotten powdered egg."

"Oh, no, no, you son of a bitch, don't you go anywhere," Hawkeye calls after him as he scrambles for his robe. "I'm not done with you yet!"

BJ looks over his shoulder, bright as the sun. "You'll have to catch me first," he teases, then strolls away.

#truly am so sleepy and zooted and relaxed that i have no idea if This Is Anything but i had a lot of fun writing it so yAY #THANK YOU FOR THE MEME!!!#beejhawk #hawkbeej #hunnihawk #my writing #ask meme answers

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umbrellatte · 2 years

Text

Ah Shit | F.Hargreeves

pairings: five hargreeves x speedster!fem!reader

synopsis: After finally leaving Dallas, Texas 1963, you and the Hargreeves come back to another seemingly disastrous problem.

notes: five did time travel, he did see the apocalypse, but was able to return as soon as he saw the date, therefore making him the same age as everyone else, including yourself. and he doesn't look like he's thirteen, he's just genuinely shorter than the rest of the academy, like he's tall, just not enough to be 'tall' tall.

disclaimer: five is above 18 in all my fics unless stated otherwise

You all landed in what seemed to be the Academy's living room. You all saw a Ben look alike walked into the room, and six other people, well five people and a cube, on the second floor balcony. “Dad? Who the hell are these assholes?”

“Shit” the Umbrellas said at the same time as you said “Ah shit.” You all look at each other, few words here and there and now you were fighting. Being the speedster of the group, you obviously had a high advantage on speed. Well, assuming you were the only one with speed advantages.

“Then we'll have to settle this the old-fashioned way.” the buff dark skinned man said. “Look, we just fought a literal army. Okay? This doesn't need to get ugly. Let's all just calm down and let's talk.”

Klaus then proceeded to talk, you didn't really pay attention to it. Mainly because Five's grip on your waist seemed to tell you that you should be wary and prop up your speed. So your focus was mainly on the random scarlet dressed people. Sooner or later, there was a fight. You and Luther took stance as the Marcus guy attacked. You sped around him and started to form a vaccum made of air, which theoretically, if he was as strong as Luther, he couldn't punch through.

“Luther, help the others! I'll get this one!” you yelled, speeding around him until you took your scarf and tied him to someone else. “Hopefully, he'll be too scared to break out cause he'll hurt whoever the hell this blonde bitch i tied him to anyways.” you thought. Ben then decides to attack you, from behind. Coward position, but smart anyways. Before he could, Five jumps to your rescue. “Tentacles off her, asshole!” he yells, jumping behind him to strangle him. “[Name], darling watch your fucking back! I swear to god!” Five scolds you. You speed here and there fighting the bird lady, yelling “I don't have eyes in the back of my head, honey! But clearly this blind bird bitch does!”

“[Name], Diego needs help! He's floating with the cube thing!” Allison called out. You reached Diego and thought on how to save him. You figured maybe if you ran fast enough, you could run up the walls, turn and jump to him grabbing him in the process. “Who's your daddy? I'm your daddy! Who's—” he lands a punch, “your—” another punch, “daddy!—” and another.

“It's now or never.” you successfully did your rescue trick and soon find Five with Ben, and head straight with him, running to Allison, seeing Klaus in the air, wrapped around tentacles, Diego throwing knives at the cube, and Vanya with paintings. You would have helped them, but at the moment, Allison was in a vulnerable position. Five jumps in, takes Allison and you sped the dude to a pillar, grabbing anything to tie him and tied him to it.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” Five said. “Hey, short stack. What's up?” the black haired woman greeted. “Allison, you go ahead and help the others. We got this.” you said. “What are you two? Their mascots?” you scoff. “Aha, no. I'm not. More of just an extra addition, thanks for thinking so highly of me, though!” you sarcastically said, smiling your condescending smile. Five jumps behind her and lands a hard punch on her face. “Depends on who you're talking to. I'm more of their ringer.”

You quickly notice her get up, shoot her gross mouth liquid, and ran Five out of the way, and then proceeded to speed around her, making her dizzy. “None of that, alright? That's gross and not needed on Five's gorgeous face.” you warned. “What in the actual fuc-”

Not even five minutes later, you all were running down to halls to the exits. But Five doesn't leave until he gets the briefcase, to no avail. Only finding a few of the so called sparrows, on to Vanya. As soon as Vanya went all Vanya-bomb, Five soacial jumped away to you. Before you could leave, you held the finger to the black haired liquid lady. “Asshole!”

You all find your way to a few benches, sat down and started to talk. Everyone spoke with each other, but you were silent, head on Five's shoulder. Again you paid no attention to the conversation. Atleast not until Five said something. “Okay, the next person to say dickhead is getting a punch to the throat.”

All of them, even you, knew he wouldn't. So to mess with him, you all said 'dickhead' and just laughed as Five kissed your temple, slightly smiling even if he was worried on what's going on with this version of 2019.

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louscartridge · 2 years

Text

zero

tw- nail painting, mention of the song zero by smashing pumpkins, slight swearing, lowercase intended, my horrendous spelling and writing.

summary- reader paints kevins nails

after much convincing kevin finally let you paint his nails. under one condition of course; he gets to choose the colors. which you didnt mind, he choose white and black.

sitting infront of your boyfriend on your bed, putting the nail polishes on a book next to you guys, you take your short nails and start pushing his cuticles down.

“ow that hurts”

“sorryyy” you laughed

you then unscrewing the cap of the black on first. applying the dark shiney polish to his pointer finger, the quite sound of zero by smashing pumpkins playing from the speaker of your phone. you introduced kev to the song and ever since then hes had a liking to it, dispite the comments from hunter calling him a poser.

“how long does this stay on for?” asked kevin

“mhm depends” you replied “just be still. who knows maybe youll end up liking it and as me to do this more”

his nails are fairly short causing you to get some black on his skin. careful to not take any polish off his finger you take the end of your sleeve sliding it accross the end of his middle finger.

“can i do the ring fingers white and evereything else black?”

“well your already doing it so sure” he replys with a slight chuckle

skipping his ring finger and moving to his pinkey putting a coat of the liquid on, soon being done, putting his left had (the one you just did) on your right knee and picking up his right hand putting it on your right knee repeating the same as the other hand.

“what?” you lightly scoff

“nothing. your just pretty is all.”

“oh. alright. you too.”

your definitly blushing, you can practically see it yourself.

screwing the cap back on the black nail polish, opining the white you lightly press the small brush down onto the drummers right ring finger and swiping up, doing the same thing to his left ring finger.

“their not completley dry yet so we gotta wait so i can do the second coat and then thell be done” you exclaim picking his left hand up blowing on his slightly still gooey nails.

“i would say we could make out wall we wait but-” he says wiggling his fingers on his right hand

“literally shut the fuck up”

“love you too”

as kevins nails are drying hes telling you how he recently broke one of his drum sticks.

“in my defense i didnt know when i was supposed to replace them!”

after a few more minutes they werent gooey anymore so you applied the second coat.

“once theyre dry this time thell be done”

“maybe ill do yours next” he semi-jokingly says motioning his head to your hands, looking at your nails the red being chipped and spotty.

your dog soon jumps on your bed before you can put the cap but on shaking the book in the middle of your bed causing the nail polish to spill, going on your phone and sheets.

“crap! oh my god oh fuck!”

“this is why we cant have nice things oh my god” you exclaimed, kevin just laughing

“its not funny!”

“i know im so sorry im sorry” he quickley places a peck to your cheek

“just wipe this shit off of my phone please” you sigh frustraited handing him your phone

“ok ok”

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crazyf0rswayze · 10 months

Text

Darry X Fem!Reader: Fixer Upper

Warnings: cussing, mentions but not usage of a switchblade

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Request: yeah! Maybe reader could be new and the house needs fixed and thats how she meets darry.

Y/N POV

I had just moved in and my dad was already pointing out all the imperfections. The few shingles missing on the roof, the bad paint job that was left behind, small dents in the wall here and there.

"If your so worried about it, fix it dad" my brother, Jack said to my dad

"Jack, don't get rude with me" my dad replied

"I'm just sayin'" my brother said before walking upstairs to unpack

"Go unpack honey, and then we'll find someone who can help fix up the place. We can paint it ourselves though, I'm just worried about the missing shingles" my dad expressed

"Ok...I'm gonna unpack then" I said walking up the stairs.

We moved to Tulsa Oklahoma because me dad had gotten a nice job offer here.

DARRY'S POV

"Yo, I heard some new broad moved in. Word says she got one older brother, and then the usual mom and dad" Dallas says walking into my house.

"She looks about your age Dar, I saw here at the diner today" Steve said with a little wink

"I'm not looking for a girl right now ok? I have my jobs and my brothers to worry about" I said, brushing it off. Although....I could use a little romance in my life

"Aw come on! You deserve a little fun! I walked past her house, and some shingles were missing...you could fix that" Dally said

"Dallas, no means no. I have too many things in my plate" I said

"If she's 18, you're the only one in the gang that can date her. She's all yours if she's of age." Dallas said

"Well...t-two-bit is 18 so, I'm not the only one" I said

"I don't want her. I got Kathy" Two-bit replied as he shined his switchblade

"C'mon...just ask her out" Sodapop says.

"YOU TOO SODAPOP" I exclaimed

"God... everyone REALLY wants me with her" I said

"Yea...so just asked her out" Soda pressured Sometimes I really wanted to give him a piece of my mind.

"Maybe...ok? If I say maybe will that make everyone happy?" I asked, getting mad. I threw my hands up in the air, walking to my room to rest. It was getting late so...

"I think you guys made him mad..." Ponyboy said

Y/N POV

I heard a bit of yelling down the street, which was keeping me awake.

"I found a place that replaces shingles, but it depends on if they have the matching set or not. Because I don't really want it all ripped up and put back down again. That would take a shit ton of money" I heard my dad talking to my mom about the options.

"Ok, so then we'll check, but for now let's go to bed darling, it's getting late" I heard my mom say.

There was this silence...and it was deafening. I hated sleeping in silence, so I put on a soft record to help soothe me to sleep. That helped, because I soon found sleep.

IN THE MORNING

I walked down stairs, and saw my mom cooking some breakfast.

'mmmm her famous pancakes' I thought as she cooked

"Good morning honey" my mom said kissing my cheek as she went to grab some ingredients from the fridge.

"Mornin'" I replied with a yawn

"Mmmhhmm I'm gonna make a pot of coffee" I said, offering my mom some help

"Ok hun" she replied getting back to cooking

My brother walked down the stairs, followed by my dad.

"Im making coffee for anyone who wants it" I said to my brother and dad. My dad was a coffee drinker, but Jack, not so much. Once in a while he would.

"Alright" my dad said, sitting down at the kitchen island.

We all are breakfast, and then got ready for our days.

"Can I go out today, take a look around, and get used to the place?" I asked my mom while putting some shoes on

"Sure honey, just keep this with ya. I hear you're gonna need it." She slid a...a-a switchblade across the island.

"W-why?"

"I don't know. There some rivalry between two social groups, so just to be safe"

I put the blade in the pocket of my jean jacket.

DARRY'S POV

"Ahhh there she goes. Walking out of her house. OH and she had a switchblade" Dally says

"No way, no girls ever carry blades" Ponyboy says

"I guess some do" I said pulling my shirt over my head.

"I bet you like that huh, a girl carryin' a blade. That's tuff" Sodapop said, playfully hitting my arm.

"Yep...so tuff Soda" I said ruffling his hair.

"Don't smoke more than a pack today, or ill skin ya" I tell my other kid brother.

"Don't carry up more than one pack up the ladder today, or we'll skin YOU" Ponyboy said.

"Alright alright....deal" I said, jokingly shaking his hand

"DONT BURN THE PLACE DOWN" I yell as I walk to the truck. Soda comes running out so I can drive him to work.

"Can I drive? Please please pleeaaaassseeee" Soda pleaded

"Ok fine" I say with a chuckle, moving to the passenger seat.

"Yay" he says

He drops me off at the house I needed to work at. And then he drives to the DX. It was a new house...maybe it was Y/n's

Y/N POV

As I walked away from my house, I checked out the switchblade. It looked pretty cool. I closed it, and put it back in my pocket. All I did was walk around, until a nice looking car full of boys drove up to me.

"Hey pretty darling, what's a pretty lady like you doin' walking alone. Come on, hop in" The driver said

"I'm ok thanks" I say

"Whatever doll" he says driving away.

Wow ....I really expected a fight. He drove into my side of town yelling ;

"GREASERS!! STUPID GREASERS"

I figured that was one of the social groups. The one he belonged to must be the 'socs'. My dad was talking about it at breakfast today.

DARRY'S POV

Bob and his little group drove to my part of town yelling greaser at the top of his lungs. If this was

Y/n's house, that means she's a greaser. Awesome, if I asked her out I wouldn't be dating a soc.

Soon enough my question was answered. Y/n walked into the house, and I heard her greet the man and woman inside as "dad, and mom". I wondered if it would be more appropriate if I put my shirt back on....

"She's pretty" one of my work pals said

"Hey...I saw her first. Saw her yesterday" I said, practically claiming her.

"Alrighty then ..you can have her" he said chuckling.

"BREAK TIME BOYS" My boss yelled up to us

"OK" We both yelled back. We carefully walked down the ladder, and sat on the curb

Y/N POV

The one man that was working was really pretty, and he has a buff build. I stared at him through the window of my room as he sat on the curb. He had greased back, dark hair. He was rather tall, and from the glace I got, he had icy blue-ish green eyes. I closed my curtains, so I couldn't see them and they couldn't see me. I went to lie down in bed.

DARRY'S POV

"She's real cute" I said to my work buddy.

"Then ask her out. Any lady would say yes to you" he said encouragingly.

"Mhmm" I said taking a swig on my coke.

"ALRIGHT! GET BACK TO WORK" My boss yelled. Since I had already been up in the roof today, it was my turn to stand at the bottom and make sure the ladder didnt fall. I was just standing there with my thoughts as a dog ran out of the back yard.

"MILLIE GET BACK HERE" I head a voice yell. The owner of the voice ran to the front yard to get the dog, but I had already caught it. It was a pretty little brown dog. Maybe a mini golden doodle?

"Th-thank you sir" Y/n said meeting my eyes.

"No problem" I replied handing the dog to her.

"She's pretty cute...y-your dog I mean" I said with a chuckle. Her head was tilted up so she could look at my face. I think she was trying her hardest not to look down at my abs.

'god, I should have put my shirt back on' I though to myself

"Thanks" Y/n said turning her back to me so she could walk back to her house

"You bad bad girl" I hear her say, ruffling her dogs fur.

She. Was. So. So. Beautiful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2?

#fanfic #the outsiders #the outsiders 1983 #the outsiders imagine #darry curtis #darrel curtis #crushing #x reader #darry x reader

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vanosslirious · 2 years

Text

BBS Dialogue Prompts #203

BBS Dialogue Prompts & Sentence Starter: [ 10 ]

SMII7Y

It depends, what are you into?

That's the only reason why I'm fucking here!

Why are you so into that?

What God did you pray to to win that?

There's no way I'm this unlucky, bro.

I better fucking make this.

That's probably a good idea, I should do that too.

They're just pumping out bullshit now.

He was so ready for that.

Let's just clarify what you meant by this sentence right here.

Hey, it's the guy you shot in the head.

Dude, they're going to report me.

Oh, that's kind of fucked up now that I think about it.

You're literally Santa Claus, what are you doing?

Everyone chill...that's the opposite of chill!

You will pay for your treachery.

It says I can place it, but it’s probably going to break.

Alright, boys, it’s on.

I can’t move, I literally can’t move.

I’m actually really glad I wasn’t around to see the actual context of that cause it sounds great.

H2ODELIRIOUS

Beat their ass!

I think we gotta hit him three times.

Hold my hand, damnit.

Wait, they're coming in strong.

Shoot them one by one.

Did I help you guys?

Is this your damn sister, what the hell?

Where the hell are you trying to run too?

Will you open your damn door?

Are you following me?

TERRORISER

Don’t worry guys, I got a flare!

Yes, she got rid of my joke, goddamnit.

Speak up.

Why was I ripped out of the server?

I just want to shoot one of them just to see your reaction.

Let’s get out there, guys.

I was stuck down a hole.

Great, I got nothing.

I’m going to fucking kill you.

Someone find food.

NOGLA

There’s no way you played it without me seeing it.

I have an infected wisdom tooth, and I just chewed a candy on it.

Just give me the card, man, please.

How did he know about the other stuff?

Alright, boys, sorry to let you down.

I feel stared at.

Ah, come on, guys, that was not impressive.

It's so weird seeing you like this.

How are you breathing?

No, I have to order my fries.

FL0M

Fuck, I'm pinned down!

I did, I didn’t see anything!

I lost to some fucking peppers.

It looks like I'm about to puke!

You know, I actually don't think that is true.

I don't know what they do, man!

What the fuck, who is this?

Low energy, I should eat something.

Let me go ask them how they're doing, hey guys.

Dude, I'm almost dead, oh shit!

JERICHO

This one’s for you, man.

Did he kill you too?

He went up straight and executed your ass.

What happened there, that's weird.

Wait, I got an idea.

You literally ran into me.

Oh, this looks promising to me.

Oh my god, you painted the wall.

What the hell, are you guys bringing him to me?

That’s crazy, what could have possibly gone down?

ELILIKESRICE

What the fuck, ya’ll got goldfish memory?

Enemy in the room.

You’re saying I shot the wrong person?

You guys have cool names.

Enemy right here, that's not one of us.

Oh, ya'll hear something, ya'll hear a ghost?

He played dead.

I wish you told me…

You don't have to do that.

I never actually seen anyone just go around picking up bullets.

GRIZZY

The fucking controls are not working!

Yeah, I’ll be back soon.

You broke ass bitch.

You literally had nothing!

Give it to me…for the love of God!

Fuck it, I'm taking my chances…I regret everything.

I don't agree with this!

If they're so boring, tell us.

Guys, I’m thinking red, thoughts?

Now, what kind of fuckery is this?

VANOSSGAMING

There is no time for fucking secrets.

You don’t know which one I was excluding, maybe I was excluding myself, you don’t know.

I’m fine dying here in the front yard.

I’m taking the grave on the right.

Fuck it, I’m taking this grave, rest in piece, boys.

Say please!

Are you fucking kidding me.

Which way is it?

Fuck off, ghost!

Use the force.

KRYOZ

Maybe we should go kill him…knock-knock.

Get the headlight.

I don’t know, I’m loading, it still takes awhile to do that.

Wait, how much money do you have?

I sold a painting to some dumb bitch!

Dude, we’re about to get scammed.

Go to a different wall you dumb little skanky slut.

What makes him dirty?

Yeah, it’s like a flash bang.

I’ve been seeing spots ever since.

#banana bus squad #bbs #banana bus squad prompts #smii7y #h2odelirious #the terroriser #daithi de nogla #fl0m #jericho | tucker #elilikesrice #grizzy #vanossgaming #kryoz #bbs prompts #rpf prompts #dialogue prompts #text #words

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mrs-johansson · 2 years

Text

Chapter 3: Dark Phoenix I - Goddess of Fire

Part 6:

It’s been a week since I’ve been kidnapped. I’ve been training every day and at night I was being experimented on, as they called The Dark Phoenix program.

“Stark, you’re up,” Strucker said as he walked to the hall of the cells. Yes, cells, but I had a comfortable bed, my bathroom, and a bookshelf even. Meals 3 times a day. The training was like in the Red Room, but with some extras. I mostly sparred with James, and some days he was different. He pulled on his punches, he couldn’t dodge my hands or legs.

I think it’s because of the treatment he gets and he just can’t focus if he’s not fully under control. I’ve been trying to talk to him but there was no chance. He wouldn’t react to anything. I tried to speak with him nicely but harshly too. All of these ended up with nothing.

For the past two days, Strucker hasn’t been visiting that much so I’m guessing he’s busy with something. I’ll try my best to get James to talk.

Getting up from my bed I let the book fall from my lap. As in the last couple of days, I had to put my hands on the wall, while a guard came in and put handcuffs on my wrists.

“What’s for today? Another round of brainwashing? As you can see it’s not working,” I said as soon as I came face to face with Strucker.

A smug smile appeared on his sharp face. “Right… I’ll be away for a while, so you must stick to the schedule,” he looked at the guard. “Yes, sir.”

“Stark, don’t let me hear any trouble from you.” The director said and I scoffed. Shaking my head I glanced at Barnes’ room. “Or what? You’ll kill me?” I stepped forward, his face very close to mine. “You can’t and you can’t torture me for long. Keep your threats to yourself.” His eyes did not move and without a word, he left.

The guard tugged on my cuffs and we made our way to the lab.

***

As we all know, sparring with James wasn’t a new thing. Strucker being away, our training was a bit lighter and obviously less popular.

There were maybe two guards standing by the door but on the outside so we were basically alone.

We were just punching the other mindlessly. Barnes once again started pulling on his punches. It has been more frequent recently. “Focus, James,” I said, before punching him right across the face. “I’m focused,” he murmured and threw a punch at me, but I grabbed his fist. “Clearly you aren’t,” I twisted his arm around, and with a quick move, I got my thighs wrapped around his neck and took him down.

He looked at me with wide eyes. “What? It’s not like I haven’t done this before,” I stood up and held my hand out for the man.

James was looking around, absorbing the surrounding place. His eyes were moving fast and his breathing quickened.

He’s normal again.

“Stop panicking. James get up,” I said, dragging him on his feet by his buff shoulder. He looked at me, panic still painted all over his face. Frowning, as usual, he shook his head. “Stay calm, they are watching,” I whispered and I referred to the cameras and the guards outside. “Pretend we’re still fighting,” I said and held up my fists.

“Where are we?” He whispered, putting his hands back up. With a light punch to his side, I moved so the camera in the corner of the room couldn’t see my face. “Hydra base, Siberia… I think. You’ve been brainwashed a couple times, controlled too. Do you remember me?” I looked up at him with so much hope and when he nodded I let out a deep breath. He then threw a punch at my face which I could easily dodge, but I knew this one was on purpose. “How often do I get the treatment?” He asked quietly while moving around the matt. “Depends on your state. While I was here, you got it twice. Once, because you recognized me and the other because you remembered something from your past,” I got down, trying to swipe his legs out. “Where’s Strucker?” James looked over his shoulder then back to me. “Not here, that’s for sure. So, we gotta move before he gets back.” “You’re very enthusiastic about this. Why would you want to help me? I did no good to you,” Barnes lifted his leg to kick my head, to my luck I caught him in time, bringing the soldier to the ground. “You leave no man behind, am I right, sergeant?” I smirked up at him and if I’m not hallucinating I saw a smile pulling his face.

***

Right after training, we got to have lunch in a common room. Barnes sat across from me with his tray of food and pretended to actually be under control.

“Do you have a plan, Stasya?” Did he actually just said that? Am I hearing this wrong? My palms got sweaty and I suddenly felt dizzy. No one called me by this name for so long and especially coming from hii.… it cuts deep. “Hey..” he whisper yelled and with that I was back to the conversation.

“My name is not Stasya. I was an undercover agent in the Red Room. My name is Y/n Stark, you might have heard of my dad.. Tony Stark, you know, playboy, billionaire, genius, that kind of stuff.” His facial expressions did not change, it was like he didn’t even hear a thing I said to him.

“Anyways.. Shield must be doing something by now, so we could wait for them.. but we don’t have that much time so I say we slip off while Strucker’s gone.” “Great idea,” his thick Russian accent was like a breeze. I haven’t heard him talk like a normal human being since the Red Room, and it was very strange but also because he wasn’t under control this was definitely a new experience.

“Do you know how long you’ve been here?” I asked as I picked on my food. James cleared his throat and crossed his arm in front of his chest. His arms were huge, this guy is just massive. “Around a month, I guess. But the memories are still not clear. They come back within seconds,” he mumbled, looking down at his plate. I’ve never seen him more confused and in the dark, when he was under control he was cold and numb, barely human. And now, I could recognize some emotions on his face at moments and his voice was less aggressive.

“Is there anything you know about this place?” “A couple things only,” he chewed on his piece of chicken. “We could take one of the jets.. get away through the training ground, no one uses it other than the two of us.” “There’s a console on the first floor. They control the whole security system through that. I could open the gates for the jet, then get the keys,” he explained. “Probably most of the guards will be on our floor, so two men at the doors tops. Do you need any geer?” “No, do you?” He looked up and I smirked as I stood up. “No. See you tomorrow, Barnes.”

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x female #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x stark!reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff #black widow #black widow x y/n #black widow x female reader #black widow x you #black widow x reader #bucky barnes #hydra #marvel #gxg #stark reader #y/n stark #natasha romanoff imagines #tony stark

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the-blind-assassin-12 · 2 years

Text

Birthday Wishes

June Drabbles 2022 Day 22 - Dandelions

A/N: I have been wanting to challenge myself to write a drabble a day for a whole month for quite some time now, and I finally decided to just go for it. The goal is to fill every prompt on this list by @creativepromptsforwriting with a short one shot (500 - 2k words) by the end of June. Can I do it? I do not know. But let’s find out! - This one is meant to be a Survivor Blues flashback, and I will be touching more on some of the topics brought up here as that series progresses, but it can also 100% be read as a stand alone piece. Joel and Ellie’s relationship is just really important to me, and I will take any chance that I can get to write more of it for them. <3

** this one has spoilers for TLOU Part II **

Word Count: 2,488. still can’t stay under 2k to save my life.

Warnings: language, mention of death, loss, grief, dishonesty. It’s a tad angsty but hopefully also a tad funny. *shrugs*

Summary: Joel and Ellie spend the trek back to their campsite from the museum discussing their favorite part of the day that they spent there.

“So, kiddo, what was your favorite part?”

Joel looked over at Ellie as they headed back through the woods to where they’d left the horse and where they planned on making camp for the night. Behind them, the Wyoming Museum of Science and History had already been swallowed back up by the vines and greenery that had obscured the building until they were right in front of it, once again hidden to anyone who didn’t already know that it was there. Late afternoon sunlight trickled down through the canopy to glint off of the newest pin that Ellie had fastened to her backpack - the enamel space shuttle he’d presented her with as the two of them climbed out of the capsule - and though a portion of their trip had been marred by the hastily stenciled firefly symbol, the word Liars written on the wall beneath the dried drips of black paint that bled from the insect’s pointed wings, he couldn’t help the smile that came at the sight of the pin, already added to her collection. This was the right call.

Ellie let out an amused huff, bringing both hands to her head and then spreading her fingers wide as she moved her arms away from herself. “Can I say all of it? Because the answer is all of it.” Her hands fell back to her sides, palms smacking against her denim clad thighs before coming up to grip the straps of her pack again. “The whole day was fucking amazing.”

A chuckle rumbled through his chest as he held back a pine branch so that she could pass without ducking under it. “No, you cannot say all of it. That’s cheating.” Sarah used to try that, too. Never wanted to winnow it down to one thing. The familiar twinge of pain that he felt every time he thought about her twisted in his chest, but it didn’t linger or deepen as he was immediately reminded of the way she would roll her eyes and give him a “fine” from the passenger seat of his truck before thinking and answering with whatever exhibit or demonstration stuck out the most to her. They are so much alike.

“Ugh, okay. Gimme a minute to think then.” She skirted the bent branch, taking a few steps ahead of him. Once they were both clear, Joel released it, watching her footsteps. He shook his head, noting the way that the soles of her shoes had been worn almost completely flat. The treads were gone, the rubber so thin in places that it was a wonder he couldn’t see her socks. Maybe she did need a new pair of sneakers.

“Take your time.” He followed until the space between trees was wide enough to walk side by side again, falling into stride with her as soon as it opened up. Depending on the distance, sometimes Sarah would use the entire ride home from whatever museum or attraction he’d taken her to to decide which part had been her favorite. Joel would glance over as he shifted gears or came to a stop at a red light to catch a look of severe concentration on her young face reflected back at him as she peered out the window, weighing the pros and cons of every moment to determine which one was best. The same place in his heart that had just stung with the pain of missing his daughter warmed at the way Ellie’s forehead furrowed in thought. So damn much alike.

Nothing could ever erase the fact that Sarah was gone. No one would ever replace her. They both knew that. That was never what his and Ellie’s relationship had been about though, just as he would never be able to change the fact that the girl had lost her parents. But having her in his life gave him somewhere to focus the love and support he would have given Sarah until his dying day, kept him from falling back into the howling pit of anger and hate that he’d been treading water in for so long. And in return he did his best as a stand-in to make sure Ellie never felt abandoned, to give her some semblance of stability, to take as much off her shoulders as he could so that her burdens were light enough for her to experience real happiness from time to time.

It was a good fit - not a perfect one, though. The word liars flashed in his mind again, as though he needed the reminder of what he’d done. But it was chased from his thoughts before it could take root as Ellie started to give her response.

“Okay, so.” She sighed heavily, lifting one hand up to push the stray strands of hair that hung across her face out of her eyes. “Obviously climbing a motherfucking dinosaur was awesome.” She ignored the less than half hearted attempt that Joel made to curtail her language, stepping over a fallen tree trunk and continuing on as though she hadn’t heard him even though he knew that she had. That’s a lost cause anyway. “And seeing all the skeletons?” She snickered. “Seeing all the skeletons wearing hats?”

“Oh here she goes with the hats again.” He groaned as he lifted one leg and then the other to step over the log.

“Uh, yeah, the hats were a major part of the experience, Joel.” He laughed at her inability to keep a straight face, her eyebrow jumping to betray the expression she was trying to suppress. She recovered quickly by using both index fingers to point at him, tilting her head in his direction. “Ooh, I also got to school you on space facts. That was pretty fun.”

“You know, that was one of my favorite parts too, actually.” The trees thinned out, the forest giving way to a small clearing of tall grass edged in leggy weeds, the seedy white puffs of dandelions and wildflowers. Almost back at camp.

Ellie let out an incredulous breath. “Really?”

“Really.” He nodded. “I like it when you get all smartypants and serious about things.” She scoffed, reaching over to smack him lightly on the arm which brought out another laugh from both of them. “Hey, I ain’t jokin’, I mean it. You’re real bright, Ellie. NASA woulda been lucky to have you some day.”

“Well thank you.” She accepted the compliment by tipping her nose up in the air and then twirling one hand in a dramatic circle, Joel snorting and rolling his eyes. This kid. “That actually brings me to my answer. About my favorite part of today?”

“Oh, does it? What, the part where I tell you how smart you are? That’s y-”

“No.” She cut him off. I know. That was a joke. “The part where I got to be an astronaut.” She stopped walking then, turning to face him as he did the same. “The part where you took me to the fucking moon, Joel. That tape?” She shook her head, eyes wide and focused on his. “No one’s ever done anything even close to something like that for me before.”

He hadn’t been lying when he told her that finding the Apollo audio recording had taken a mighty effort. I started lookin’ for that thing soon as we got back to Jackson from the h- He swallowed. From Utah. The sloppy drips of black paint on the wall of the museum flashed in his mind and he cleared his throat. I did what I had to and I’d do it again.

“Well I’m… real glad that you liked it, Ellie.” He sighed, smiling down at the girl he’d wanted nothing to do with at one point, who now stood as close to the center of his world as his own brother did. As close as anyone would ever come to where Sarah stood. “That was my favorite part, too.” He coughed to clear the residual emotion from his voice. “It’s too bad we didn’t see any shooting stars while we were in the space exhibit. You coulda made a birthday wish.”

He started walking through the clearing then, Ellie following after he’d taken a few steps. “Did you know that shooting stars aren’t really stars?”

Joel smiled, still looking straight ahead as she caught up. “They’re not?”

“Nope. Just dust particles and rocks. They look like they’re glowing when they get into our atmosphere, but they’re not actually stars.” She shrugged. “So it’s kinda weird that we make wishes on a buncha space dust.”

“Huh,” he mused. “That is kinda weird. But I guess a lot of things people make wishes on are a little strange.”

That got her interested. “Oh yeah? What other weird crap did people used to make wishes on?”

“Well, birthday candles, you know that one.” Ellie nodded. “I’m sure Maria’ll have one for you when we go over there for dinner tomorrow night, so make sure you think of a good wish before then.” The girl’s eyes widened as she blinked. Yeah, it’s not just me who wants to make your birthday special. “Um, let’s see what else. Oh, wells and fountains.”

“What? Wells? Like, where water comes from?” She whacked at a patch of particularly tall grass as they made it to the center of the clearing.

“Uh-huh. Well no, not where you’d get water for drinking. Specific wells just for wishing, I guess.” It is sorta dumb now that I’m having to explain it. “Fountains were more common. You’d see ‘em in shopping malls and parks and things. People used to toss coins, pennies usually, into the water and make a wish.”

“Wait, so people would just throw money away?” She let out a breath and made a face. “Where’d it all go?”

“You know, I actually don’t have any idea. I think sometimes it was collected for charity? But,” he shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

She snorted sarcastically. “Maybe they used it to build more wishing wells. So what else?”

Joel laughed. “Maybe. Oh, here’s a good one. Chicken bones.” She scrunched up her face, shooting him a look of sheer disbelief, and he reacted by holding both palms up towards her. “Shit you not, there’s a bone in all chickens and turkeys and I guess all kinds of birds, looks like a Y.” He brought both pointer fingers together to make the shape of the letter. “You’d dry ‘em out and then two people would make wishes and pull ‘em apart, and whoever got the bigger piece? Their wish was supposed to come true.”

“So then the other person is just outta luck?” He nodded. “I don’t like that. Makes it more of a competition. Wishes shouldn’t have winners and losers.”

He brought one hand up to scratch at his beard. “Yeah, I guess it does.” As he took another step he kicked at the tufted head of a cluster of dandelions. Oh, right. Bending down, he plucked a few and held them out to her. “These. You make a wish and then blow on ‘em and all the seeds scatter and your wish comes true.”

“Yeah?” She took one of the puff balls from him. “Well then.” She pulled back her shoulders and closed her eyes, silently contemplating what to wish for. A few seconds passed before she released a forceful gust of air to send the seeds flying like a platoon of paratroopers. She opened her eyes and gave him a wide, toothy grin. “Okay, your turn.”

What? “My turn?” He sputtered. “It ain’t my birthday, kiddo, it’s yours.”

“I’m feeling generous. I’ll share my wishes.” She bent down and picked another cloudy head of seeds, holding it out for him like he’d done for her. “So make sure it's a good one.”

Joel took the dandelion carefully, staring at the cluster of seeds. The only thing he’d ever really want to wish for was a complete impossibility, but it came to him anyway. I wish I had my baby girl back. He’d even take everything else just as it was - the outbreak, the end of civilization, all of it - if it meant letting her have the chance to grow up. The next thing that came to mind seemed like just as much a waste to wish for, just as much something that couldn’t be fixed or undone. I wish Ellie didn’t have to go through any of the shit she did. His eyes shifted from the weed in his hand to the scarred area on her forearm that he knew to be a healed and healthy bite from one of the Infected. I wish she never had that burden on her shoulders. He could have kept going like that, thinking of things that would be a waste of time to wish for. That I told her the damn truth about what really happened. That-

“C’mon, Joel, what are you waiting for?” She nudged his elbow with hers. “Make a wish already.”

I wish for her to have as much happiness as she can find in this world.

He blew out a breath then, the seeds scattering into the warm breeze as Ellie whooped and cheered. “Nice! What’d you wish for?”

“Can’t tell you.” He dropped the stem and brushed his hands together to remove a few seeds that clung to his calluses. “Won’t come true.”

“Oh, come on.” She groaned, dipping her head back to look up at the sky. “I don’t believe in that. Here, I’ll tell you mine. I wished for-”

“Ellie,” he warned, to no avail.

“I wished for the dinosaurs to come back to life so they could chomp all the fucking Infected and then I could train them. Like dogs.”

Despite the way that the old pain he carried in his chest had been twisted and tightened by the things he wished he could change, he found himself genuinely laughing once more at what she’d said. “Yeah? You think you could get a T-rex to roll over?”

She shrugged. “If I gave him enough belly scratches? Probably. Now tell me what you wished for.”

Joel narrowed his eyes, exhaling through his nose as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Nah,” he clicked his tongue. “Sorry, it’s too important to risk by telling you. I want it to come true, so I haveta keep it secret. Rules are rules.”

“Ugh, fine, you win.” She rolled her eyes playfully, smiling the whole time. “So what other dumb superstitions did people have about wishes and birthdays?”

“Well, where I grew up, the person whose birthday it was? They were responsible for findin’ all the firewood and getting the fire started, or-” He trailed off into a laugh as she called bullshit, and those five letters spray painted on the wall were suddenly the furthest thing from both of their minds as they continued through the clearing.

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tags: @something-tofightfor @littlemisspascal @mishasminion360 @nyctophiliiiiaaa @practicalghost @amb11 @mindidjarin @jk7789 @tentacruels @harriedandharrassed @joelmillerscoffee @woodlandmouth @swtaura @grfields @thescarletfang @sleepylunarwolf @trickstersp8 @princessxkenobi @imtryingmybeskar @wildmoonflower @marauderskeeper

#joel miller fic #joel miller tlou #ellie williams tlou #joel and ellie #pedrostories #the last of us fic #tlou fic #joel miller #ellie williams #survivor blues #survivor blues one shot #june drabbles 2022 #day 22- dandelions #birthday wishes

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