#maybe work one day every other week or something

[sickslimez]

HOLE IN THE WALL! — NANAMI KENTO

SYNOPSIS...as an overworked and stressed employee, you find relief in giving blowjobs to complete strangers at an adult store

INFO...nanami x fem!reader, oral (m!receiving), jerking off, nipple play, tit job, pussy job, cum eating, praise, a little twist at the end, not proofread (as usual)

OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated

had to repost this bc tumblr took it down for whatever reason even though I have things more explicit than this on my other blog lmao

Working at an office where you were constantly hassled for your deadlines always put a lot of unwanted stress on your shoulders. Higher ups yapping in your ear about something you’ve been told one hundred times before and your fingers are typing as fast as they can on the computer. It was a complete and utter shit show, a waste of your precious time. But you have one little secret no one knows about, you volunteer at a glory hole every now and then when you feel too worked up.

After a long week of staring at a computer screen and boring meetings, you walking to the adult store, greeting the worker who already knew what you were there for. All you needed to relax was to watch random strangers cum from your touch. Believe it or not, it brought you joy hearing their moans on the other side of the thin wall. Maybe you chose the wrong profession.

As you entered the room, you let out a sigh, locking the door behind you. You slipped your coat off, and placed your bag down on the chair. Despite what others might think, the room was always clean. It wasn’t a random glory hole you’d find in a public bathroom or a shack in the middle of the woods. You unbuttoned your shirt, letting your tits breathe as you finally were able to relax and wait for the first person to come in.

You perked up at the sound of the door to the other room opening and closing shut. He let out a loud sigh, the sound of his pants being unbuckled making you excited. “Just make me cum, I’ve had a long fucking day,” he grunted. You looked down at the hole, the man placing his semi hard cock through it.

“You and me both, sweetheart. Don’t worry, I’ll make you feel good.” Your hand glided up and down his shaft, slowly stroking him, feeling him grow harder in your hand. You stared at his cock with a smile, his swollen tip flushed a dark pink, prominent veins running on the underside of it. Whoever this man was, he sure had a pretty cock. “You’re so big,” you giggle. Your hand barely able to fully wrap around.

Delicate fingers traced the prominent veins, teasing the underside of his dick before your thumb rubbed over his swollen tip. You felt him throb in your hand, a bead of pre cum forming at his tip, a smile tugging at your lips. The stranger was fully hard, dick long and pretty. You continued rubbing your thumb over his tip, sticking out your tongue to give him kitten licks, tasting his pre cum. You heard the man shudder, a breathy gasp leaving his throat. “Oh, you’re so sensitive!” You gasped, now slowly moving your hand up and down his shaft, moving from base to tip.

You moaned in satisfaction, lip tucked between your teeth as you jerked the stranger off, your free hand cupping your tits as you started to feel turned on by the sight in front of you. “Oh, fuck,” he let out breathy moan. More pre cum began leaking from his tip, allowing you to use it as lubricant to jerk him off easier. Your wrist moved in circular motions, squeezing gently the closer your got towards his sensitive head. “Shit, sweetheart! You really know what you’re doing, huh?” A moan could be heard from the other side of the wall.

Your hand pumped him faster, squeezing tighter around his shaft. “You better not cum yet!” You smiled as if he could see you, but you were taking joy in hearing him in pleasure. Opening your mouth, you stuck out your tongue and took him in your mouth, bobbing your head up and down while simultaneously moving your hand. You pinched your nipple, moaning around his cock as his tip hit the back of your throat.

“Oh, baby, your tongue feels so good! Let me feel that throat,” he whimpered, bucking his hips against the wall, trying so desperately to fuck your face. You removed your hand from around his cock, allowing him to fuck your face. Glug, glug, glug. “There we fucking go, atta girl!” He moaned loudly. As you sat there and let him use your throat, you couldn’t help but think at how familiar the man sounded, though you couldn’t remember from where. But it was the least of you worries, you were only thinking about making him cum.

You pulled your head away, trying to catch your breath as drool coated your chin. You lazily smiled to yourself, wrapping your hand around his shaft again and slowly jerked him off. You positioned yourself to where your tits were close to his dick, rubbing his tip over your hard nipples. “Mmm, feels so good.” Your brows furrow in pleasure.

“Keep doing whatever you’re doing, sweetheart. God, I wish I could see your pretty face right now,” he grunted. You smiled at his words, continuing you give him a tit job before spitting on his cock again. You licked a stripe from the base of his cock to the tip, taking him in your mouth slowly, allowing him to stretch your throat. You gagged on it, tears forming in your eyes before clenching them shut. Mascara ran down your cheeks as you began moving your head up and down, more spit coating his cock and falling on your chest. Your hands messily spread the spit over your tits, teasing your sensitive nipples. “Wanna cum all over your face—mmm, fuck me!” He groaned.

You pulled away again, taking a deep breath. You grinned when his cock twitched, a small giggle erupting from your chest. “You’re so close to cumming! I love it. Do I make you feel good, huh?” You cooed, dragging your fingers over his head. His cock looked even prettier dripping with your saliva.

“Can I feel your pussy? Please, sweetheart? I need it so bad,” he begged. You sat there on your knees, processing the words he said. You usually never let anyone fuck you at these glory holes, but you could think of the next best thing.

“How about a pussy job? Would you like that, baby?” You questioned, waiting for his answer while you slipped your soaked panties off. You dipped your fingers in between your folds, letting out a small gasp from how wet you were. “You got me so wet.” You slapped your pussy a few times, a lewd wet sound filling the room. “Hear that?”

“Goddamn you.” His cock twitched just from hearing how wet you were. “Let me feel her, please—fuckkk me,” he breathily said once he felt your hand grip his cock and rub his tip over your sopping slit.

You were bet over, using the chair as support while the other reached over and guided his cock along your pussy, his head rubbing between your folds and nudging your puffy clit. Your jaw went slack, eyes fluttering shut. Moans could be heard on either side of the wall. He desperately wanted to shove himself inside your gummy walls and fuck you until you passed out. “Cum all over my pussy, I know you want to.”

“Fuck, fuck, shit,” he grunted. “I’m cumming! Oh, sweetheart I’m fucking cumming!” Not even seconds after saying those words, you felt hot spurts coat your pussy, the man moaning and you continued to rub his cock all over your sloppy pussy.

“Yes!” You laughed, gasping from how he was still going. “Oh my goodness!” You felt him twitch one last time in your hand before you pulled away, sitting on the chair and spreading your legs to see at the mess he created. Curiosity got the better of you as you dipped your fingers in, scooping some of his cum and licking it clean off. “Mmmm, you taste so good!” He let out a breathy chuckle.

“Thank you for that, baby.” He pulled away from the glory hole, cock disappearing. You heard him put his pants back on. “Can I ask you a question?”

You kneeled back down towards the glory hole. “Yes, what is it?”

“Will you allow me to see who you are?” He sounded like he was nervous to ask the question.

“There’s no fun in a glory hole if you know who the person is,” you replied in a playful tone.

You heard the man let out a small laugh before sighing. “I guess you’re right. Until next time then.”

“Until next time.” You smiled to yourself. One thought sat in the back of your mind, though. Why did this man sound so familiar to you? It was a forbidden glory hole ‘rule’, but you couldn’t help yourself from peeking through the hole in hopes to catch a glimpse of the man on the other side. You noticed a familiar watch on his right hand, his figure coming more into view when he walked towards the door. An audible gasp escaped your lips when you saw the blonde hair. It was none other than Nanami Kento, your co-worker who you regularly greet at the office, the man who sits in the cubicle right next to you.

#☆—sickslimez #anime #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk smut #nanami kento smut #nanami kento x reader #nanami smut #nanami kento #jjk nanami #nanami x reader #nanami x reader smut #nanami bento x reader smut #nanami kento x you #nanami kento x y/n #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #nanami smut oneshot #nanami smut drabble #jjk smut oneshot #jjk x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen smut

[badjokesbyjeff]

There were three race horses; ernie, bill, and ted. 

the three of them were good friends; they enjoyed racing each other and generally won and lost to each other equally. every evening, after the races, they went to a local bar to relax and drink some beer. they would often discuss racing techniques, their families, etc.

one season, bill wasn't doing so well. he rarely beat the other two, and was worried that he'd be sent to the glue factory if his luck didn't change. one night, at the bar, he talked with ernie and ted about it.

"you know, guys, i just can't figure it out," he said. "everything's fine at home; the kids are doing great, my wife is being nice, the bills are paid, my mother-in-law rarely visits - nothing could be better. maybe i'm just getting old. if things don't pick up soon, they'll send me to the glue factory."

the bartender, a big llama from peru, overheard the conversation. he looked around, to make sure nobody else was listening, then said, "hey, pal, i got something for you that'll make you feel like a young colt again." he reached under the bar and pulled out an unlabeled bottle of beer. "here, drink this; i guarantee you'll start winning again. come by each night for a week and I'll give you one. if it doesn't work, i'll give you double your money back!"

bill looked at ernie and ted, who only shrugged, then drank the contents of the bottle. "oh, just one thing," the llama said, "it'll make your ass itch, but that's okay; it's just a side effect. don't worry about it." the three horses stayed a few hours, played a few games of pool and darts, and went home.

over the course of the next three days, they went back to the bar each night, and bill continued the regimen of mystery beer. his racing times did improve! he was slowly moving back up in the rankings, and was soon back into the top three with ernie and ted. bill was ecstatic, and thanked the llama profusely.

"hey, my pleasure," said the llama.

a few weeks passed by, and ernie started slowing down. after losing three races in a row, he sobbed to himself, "i just don't get it. my life couldn't be better. i can't believe I'm getting old! they'll send me to the glue factory if i don't get back in the groove!"

that evening, at the bar, he told the llama bartender about his troubles, and asked if he too could try the mystery beer. "okay, but remember, it'll make your ass itch - but don't pay it no mind. it's just a harmless side effect."

"no problem. it'll be worth it to get back in the groove," ernie said.

a few days went by. ernie's ass did indeed itch, but after a few more days, his races improved, and he was back in the top three with bill and ted.

at the bar one evening, ernie bought a round of beers for all the horses, and thanked the llama profusely.

"i just can't believe how great that mystery beer worked!" ernie said. "you're sitting on a gold mine, there!" the llama said it was his pleasure, don't worry about it, etc.

a few more weeks went by, and now ted started slowing down, losing races. he, too realized that he'd be shipped off to the glue factory unless his races improved.

"say," he said to the llama one night after a particularly humiliating loss, "i think i need to try that mystery beer too. they'll ship me off to the glue factory for sure if I don't start winning again."

"no problem," the llama said, pulling out an unlabeled bottle. "here. come back every night, and i guarantee you'll be back in top form again, or i'll give you double your money back."

over the course of the next few weeks, ted's races continued to improve until he was back in the top three with bill and ernie. he pranced into the bar, full of vim and vigor, and thanked the llama profusely. "you know, my ass itches a lot; it's almost unbearable. but i can't thank you enough. they would have turned me into glue by now if it weren't for you. anything you want, let me know and i'll see what i can do."

"no problem," said the llama, "i make this beer at home using an ancient inca recipe. it's just my way of thanking my regular customers for their patronage over the years."

"i'm not kidding," ted said, "this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. anything, you name it, anything you want, let me know, and it's yours."

"well, now that you mention it..." the llama began -

right then, a greyhound walked up to the bar. he was obviously depressed.

"barkeep, give me something strong. i'm on a losing streak you wouldn't believe," the greyhound said.

ted looked at the greyhound, then at bill and ernie, and said, "hey, look! a talking dog!"

#funny #jokes #humor #lol #comedy

[sunnyswide]

Murderer POLY 141 🔪 x Oblivious Female Reader

NSFW/MDNI (sexual activities and sexual themes)

Instead of military.. Why not just a bunch of fucking murders.

To you, it seemed so odd that they would show up at the most convenient of times. Nonetheless, you were mighty grateful for the help. For the quick fix-up on your car. The multitude of groceries you had. The short-lived stalker you never heard from again. The drunken who suddenly approached you late at dusk, but also got taken care of quite swiftly. The fruitful amount of cash that was hidden under piles of junk in the drawer. They were a bit tinted with red… Chalking that up to “Oh I must have put that there” even though you had no recollection.

But to them, it was all fun and games. Who'd be first caught or who'd be the last one standing?

Gaz was just so kind, inviting you to every opportunity for tea or snack breaks. You’re surprised when he tells you he lives at the complete opposite side of town.

“Thats an hour away Gaz! Isn't it exhausting?”

“Not at all, I have work here.”

He lies theough his teeth but hey? Isn't it all lies around here. As long as your adorable mind doesn't realize.. It won't hurt. Just like the many times he takes you to where he resides, eyes staring at the two of you.

Course you’re scared, but he promises it's because they’re not too keen with visitors. Not realizing the multitude of people don't seem to be glaring at you. But at him.

You don't ask questions and go along with it. Letting him lead you to his apartment that seemed to be barely lived in.. But it doesn't matter after he Fucks those pretty thoughts out of your mind. Making you see stars as he finishes inside of you for the third time.

But Price isn't that open. He keeps the conversation entertaining but reveals absolutely nothing about himself as he listens to you talk.

He loves the expressions you make, your lips pouting when you talk about the scary days you had over the week because of some weird stalker.

“I promise! There is someone following me!”

“Then why don’t you let me take you home”

He walks you home every night the two of you go out. The one day he doesn't, you swear you could hear an extra pair of footsteps. Looking around deliriously you opt for a run instead, going through alleyways and shortcuts. Until you accidentally bump into someone, causing you to trip over your feet.

“Gah! Sorry!”

You look up to see Price! He looked shocked at first but soon composed himself, taking your hand in his.

“Dont be sorry”

He smiles gently, kissing the top of your forehead while you burst into soft sobs. You swear you saw something.. Or someone else behind him. On the floor? Maybe it was your imagination..

He takes you home but you beg him to stay the night.

“Can you stay?..”

He holds you tight, pressing his fingers deeper into your hips. This only leads to an excuse to fuck you on his cock as an “apology” for scaring you. He whispers sweet nothings to you as he overstimulates your dripping cunt, making you cockwarm him even after cumming.

But after meeting Ghost and Soap, the perfect self-proclajmed duo, you couldn’t help but find yourself attracted. They were a mix of dark humor and wholesome dad jokes.

They invite you for a quick drink as friends. Friends that sit too close to each other.. Ghost insisting you sit in the middle as Soap drapes an arm around your waist, pouring you more and more Alcohol you didn’t want to drink.

Sooner or later the “fun” was coming to an end as you try to stand up, toppling over Ghost’s lap. They chuckle at your vulnerable state, taking it up as a reason to carry you back home. Of course this attracting other drunken dudes to come up to them asking them where they think they’re going.

“Cmoonnnn, We can all have a piece of that”

Soap smirks.. He was damn happy they even asked.

“Why not gentlemen”

But you didn't see what happened after as Ghost drove you back to his place with Soap after the quick charade. Soap smelled a bit.. Odd.. His hands covered in a.. Red substance.

“Just wine luv”

A few minutes later you sobered up quite quickly, surprised even though you drank so much. But hey no hangover!

And as a thank you they happily ate you out. Getting Fucked by both of them at once felt.. Ruthless. Your clit brimmed with overstimulation as Simon rubbed circles over it and your mouth forced wide open as Soap shoved his shaft deeper and deeper.

You sobbed quietly into the pillow as Soap rammed his Dick into your sopping cunt, relieved for the pounding to stop until Ghost took his time teasing your entrance. Making you gasp..

“Fu..ck.. Wai-wait”

Begging? Uselsss.

He didn't mind you screaming for him to stop. Overestimation turned into torture for your pussy. Brutilized after just one night, you’d had to come back to them for more right?

But it wasn't much of your choice to come back.

#simon cod #cod #cod smut #ghost smut #Simon smut #ghost x reader #Gaz x reader #price x reader #price smut #soap x reader #soap smut #poly 141 #price cod #Gaz cod #soap cod #simon riley smut

[lila-lou]

✨ His only exception - Pt. 24/? ✨

Summary: 12 months ago, Butcher went above and beyond to have you join his team. You had a simple office job at Supe Affairs. The same thing every day, working from 9 to 5 and watching Butcher and his team defeat one renegade after another. One evening, however, something changed.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Language, angst, hurt, VERY soft Ben, Ben gets hurt

Word Count: 7322

A/N: This is part 24 of “His only exception”.

English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

Butcher leaned forward, his gaze fixed on Hughie as he spoke. "There's still no word from Soldier Boy or (y/n)", he growled, his frustration evident in his tone. "It's been too quiet. By now, Soldier Boy should have made a move, tried to take out the team. It´s been over a week. There's something off about this".

Annie paced back and forth, her expression troubled. "Maybe they're planning something", she suggested, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "Or maybe they're waiting for the right moment".

Butcher shook his head, his jaw clenched in frustration. "I don't buy it", he muttered, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. "We need to find out what they're up to, and fast".

Annie sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping in defeat. "Let's face it, Butcher", she said resignedly. "If Soldier Boy wants us dead, we're as good as dead. We don't stand a chance against him".

Butcher's jaw tightened, his frustration evident as he slammed his fist against the table. "We can't just sit around waiting to die", he growled, his voice edged with determination. "We need to find out what they're planning and stop them before it's too late".

Hughie shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his gaze darting between Butcher and Annie. "I just… I can't believe (y/n) would betray us like that", he muttered, his voice tinged with disbelief.

Annie raised an eyebrow, her expression skeptical. "Did you forget that we all lied to her for weeks?", she pointed out. "She has every reason to be angry with us".

Butcher grunted in agreement. "Doesn't mean she'd side with Soldier Boy", he interjected, his voice gruff. "But we can't rule anything out. We need to be prepared for anything".

Annie let out a sarcastic laugh, shaking her head in disbelief. "Do you still not get it, Butcher?", she groaned, frustration evident in her tone. "Soldier Boy and (y/n) are head over heels for each other, and they're just too stubborn to admit it. But trust me, they'd die for each other".

Butcher's expression darkened at Annie's words. "Doesn't mean we have to accept it", he grumbled. "We need to find a way to stop them before they do something stupid".

You glanced over at Ben, concern etched on your features as you sat in the passenger seat of the car. "Are you sure about this?", you asked, your voice tinged with uncertainty.

Ben met your gaze, his expression resolute as he nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure", he replied, his voice firm.

With a deep exhale, you settled back into your seat, trusting Ben's decision despite your lingering doubts. As the car pulled away from the hotel, you couldn't help but feel a sense of apprehension about what lay ahead.

The news of Annie and A-Train taking over Vought in Homelander's absence sent shockwaves through the media, dominating headlines for days. Reports of Ashley's dismissal only added to the turmoil surrounding the company, leaving many speculating about the future of Vought and the Seven.

As you and Ben drove through the city, the chatter on the radio and the buzz of conversations around you were filled with speculation and uncertainty. Even after all those months. It was clear that the power dynamics within Vought were shifting, and the implications of Annie and A-Train's rise to prominence were yet to be fully realized.

So when Ben entered the bustling lobby of Vought Tower, clad in his imposing supe suit, a hush fell over the crowd. People stopped in their tracks, their eyes widening in disbelief and fear at the sight of him. The front desk staff immediately sprang into action, frantically dialing Starlight and A-Train, hoping to quell whatever disturbance Ben's presence might herald.

But Ben remained unfazed by the commotion around him, his gaze fixed on his destination as he strode purposefully through the crowd towards the elevators. The air crackled with tension as he passed, his mere presence casting a shadow over the bustling lobby.

As you waited in the car, a sense of anxiety gnawed at your insides. You watched the chaos unfolding through the windshield, your heart pounding in your chest as you wondered what Ben was up to inside the building.

Despite the order to stay put, you couldn't help but feel a surge of worry for Ben's safety. You fidgeted in your seat, torn between the urge to rush inside and the knowledge that Ben had instructed you to stay in the car for your own protection.

As Ben entered the top floor, Annie and A-Train stood with arms crossed, their expressions guarded. Butcher and the rest of the team stood nearby, tension thick in the air.

Ben's arrival caused a momentary pause in the commotion, all eyes turning to him. With a wry grin, he addressed Butcher.

"Did you miss me?", he quipped, his voice laced with amusement despite the underlying tension.

As Ben strode past them, his presence commanding attention, Butcher tensed, ready for a confrontation. However, Hughie's restraining hand on his arm halted his advance, a silent plea for patience.

Meanwhile, Ben found his place at the head of the table in the meeting room of the seven, legs crossed casually as he leaned back in his chair. With a commanding tone, he addressed the room, his voice cutting through the tension like a knife.

"Sit down", he ordered, his gaze sweeping over each member of the assembled group, his authority leaving no room for argument.

With a flash of his glowing chest, Ben's voice took on a more aggressive tone, his patience wearing thin as he bellowed, "I said sit the fuck down!".

His words echoed through the room. Slowly, the members of the group complied, taking their seats with wary glances exchanged among them.

With that, Ben stood up again and paced back and forth behind their chairs. "Now fucking look at you all", he remarked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "A bunch of good little pussies, sitting here like obedient lapdogs".

As he approached Butcher, his footsteps echoed ominously in the silence of the room. With deliberate intent, he placed both hands firmly on Butcher's shoulders, exerting just enough pressure to convey his dominance.

"Now, listen up", he began, his voice low and commanding. "We've got some serious shit to discuss, and I won't tolerate any bullshit. You fucking hear me?".

Ben's grip tightened slightly on Butcher's shoulders as he continued his speech.

"Now, first things first", he declared, his tone firm and unwavering. "You're all still breathing thanks to your friend, (Y/N). She convinced me not to rip each and every one of you to shreds". It wasn´t a lie. The two of you talked about it over and over again.

There was a hint of begrudging respect in his words, an acknowledgment of your influence over him in that crucial moment.

Ben's steps echoed across the polished floor as he made his way back towards the head of the table, his arms folded across his chest in a display of dominance. His gaze swept over the assembled group, each member tensing under his piercing stare.

"But here's the thing", he continued, his voice low and dangerous. "One fucking wrong move, and not even her pretty little mouth will be able to stop me from ripping each and every one of your cocksucking heads off".

His words hung heavy in the air, a warning of the consequences they would face if they dared to cross him again. The room fell silent, the tension palpable as everyone processed the gravity of his threat.

Ben's smirk widened into a self-assured grin as he delivered his next words with unmistakable confidence.

"So how about welcoming the new fucking head of Vought?", he declared. "America's first supe. Myself. I'm fucking America now".

His proclamation sent shockwaves through the room, the implications of his statement sinking in as everyone processed the magnitude of what Ben had just declared.

As Butcher began to rise from his seat, Ben swiftly raised a finger, shaking his head in a warning gesture.

"Uh-uh", he grinned.

Then, his voice rose to a thunderous roar, echoing through the room as he bellowed, "You sit the fuck down!".

Ben´s eyes starting to glow which left everyone breathless and frozen in place, cowed by the sheer force of his power.

"You know, actually, you did something good with capturing me", he admitted, his eyes no longer glowing with anger. "Leaving me alone with just my thoughts and my body I couldn´t fucking move, bringing my head pretty much back to russia… I discovered some stuff about myself".

He paused for a moment, looking at his hands as he continued, "Seems like the Russians actually gave me some strong updates, you know, all that radioactive energy. I can channeling it".

As he spoke, his hands began to emit a faint glow, a tangible manifestation of the power coursing through him.

What Ben didn't mention, however, was the difficulties he still had in controlling his power and himself.

"So since none of you got a fucking complaint", he declared, his tone firm, "I'll wait until 8 tonight to make this shit official. We will discuss everything else then".

His words hung in the air. "And now, leave the fucking building!".

The team began to file out, not wanting to escalate the situation further.

As everyone left, Ben texted you to come up. Just as you stepped into the elevator, your heart skipped a beat when you were met with Jay standing there. His presence sent a jolt of surprise and uncertainty coursing through you, momentarily stealing your breath.

"Jay…", you uttered his name, your voice barely above a whisper.

Jay's expression was a mix of concern and frustration as he spoke, his words tumbling out in a rush as he struggled to articulate his thoughts. "I haven't heard from you in two weeks", he began, his voice tinged with worry. "What's going on?".

You swallowed hard, feeling a wave of guilt wash over you as you met Jay's gaze. "It's… complicated", you murmured, your voice barely audible above the hum of the elevator.

Jay's expression softened slightly as he stepped closer to you, his eyes searching yours for answers. "Where have you been?", he asked, his tone filled with genuine concern. "I've been worried sick".

As the elevator came to a stop at the top floor, you struggled to find the right words, but Ben's footsteps echoed already towards the elevator, his expression darkening as he caught sight of you speaking to some guy.

"Who the fuck is this little bitch?", Ben's voice cut through the tension, his eyes narrowing as they locked onto Jay. His jaw clenched at the sight of another man talking to you.

Feeling the weight of Ben's intense gaze, you struggled to find the right words. You turned to Ben, a pleading look in your eyes.

"Ben, can you give us a few minutes?", you asked, your voice trembling slightly. Despite the urgency of the situation, you needed a moment to compose yourself and figure out how to navigate the delicate balance between your past with Jay and your present with Ben.

Meanwhile, Jay took a step back, his expression wary as he sized up the situation. He could sense the tension radiating from Ben and wisely chose to give you space to handle it.

Ben's brows furrowed deeper, his expression hardening as he regarded you with suspicion. "What for?", he demanded, his voice low. He wasn't about to entertain any delays or distractions, especially not when another man was involved.

You groaned in frustration, realizing that revealing the truth about your relationship with Jay would only escalate the situation further. But still, you had to be honest. Knowing Ben, he wouldn't give up so easily. With a heavy sigh, you mumbled, "This is Jay… We… dated".

Jay raised an eyebrow at your choice of words, his expression shifting to one of confusion. "Dated? Past tense?", he questioned, his tone betraying his uncertainty. "Since… you never broke up with me".

As Ben's anger flared, his eyes narrowed dangerously at Jay. He didn't take well to the revelation of your relationship, feeling betrayed that you hadn't mentioned any other man before. That you fucking dated someone while he was gone.

He was about to advance towards Jay, his intent clear in his demeanor, but you sensed the impending danger. With a quick movement, you stepped between them, desperation evident in your pleading gaze as you looked up at Ben.

"Ben, please", you pleaded, your voice trembling with urgency. "Don't do this".

It took a few moments before Ben roughly pulled you out of the elevator by your upper arm, pressed the exit button, and watched as Jay stood in the elevator and the door closed.

Turning towards you, Ben's gaze bore into yours, a mixture of anger, hurt, and frustration evident in his eyes. His jaw clenched even more as he struggled to contain the swirling emotions within him.

"You didn't tell me someone", Ben growled. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me about him?".

You winced at his tight grip, feeling the bruises already forming beneath his fingers. But actually Ben held back for your sake. Usually your arm would be broken by now.

"I-I wanted to, but…", you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper as you met his intense gaze. "I thought you were dead, Ben. I didn't think I would ever see you again".

"And you moved on that fucking quickly?", he snapped, his grip on your arm tightening momentarily before he released you. "You thought I was dead, so you just found someone else?".

You took a step back, feeling the weight of his words bearing down on you. "No, Ben, it wasn't like that", you protested, your voice tinged with regret as you rubbed your upper arm. "I thought I had lost you forever. I was lost and alone, and Jay was there for me".

His expression twisted with a mixture of disgust and disappointment. The sight of it made your heart clench in anguish.

Ben´s his hands clenching into fists as he watched you with intensity. Even though he didn't want to hear it, he knew he had to confront the question burning in his mind.

"Did he fuck you?", he demanded, his voice low and harsh, his eyes boring into yours with a mixture of fury and hurt.

As you didn’t answer right away, Ben pushed you back against the wall, his frustration boiling over into anger. His voice rose to a yell as he demanded an answer.

"I asked you a fucking question!", he roared, his tone laced with desperation and rage. "Did he fuck you?".

Your heart skipped a beat, torn between fear of Ben's state and your own rising anger. Without thinking, you reacted, lashing out and punching him in the face, the impact breaking your wrist in the process.

"F-fuck, he didn't!", you cried out, your voice trembling with pain and frustration. "Of course he fucking didn't!".

You cradled your injured wrist, wincing as the pain shot through you, a physical reminder of the chaos unfolding between you and Ben.

Ben staggered back, his hand flying to his cheek where you had struck him. Shock flashed across his face, mingling with the anger still burning in his eyes.

"You fucking punched me", he exclaimed, his voice incredulous as he stared at you in disbelief. "Are you out of your fucking mind?".

Despite the pain radiating from your broken wrist, you met his gaze defiantly, your jaw set with determination.

"I'm not going to let you treat me like this", you yelled, your voice quivering with a mixture of pain and anger. "I'm not just some bimbo you can push around whenever you feel like it. And if you ever lay a hand on me again, I swear, I'll fucking leave you!".

Your words hung in the air between you, heavy with the weight of their implications. Despite the intensity of the moment, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness at only the thought of walking away from the man you loved.

Ben pressed his lips together and tried to calm himself down. Losing you was the worst thing that could happen to him. He took a deep, very deep breath, before he placed a hand on your lower back and guided you towards the office kitchen.

You shot him a glare, your eyes flashing with defiance, but he merely rolled his eyes in response.

"Stop bitching around", Ben muttered under his breath, his voice laced with frustration. Despite your attempts to pull away, he maintained a firm grip on your lower back, refusing to let you slip from his grasp.

In the kitchen he fumbled out a bandage from the first aid kit.

"You brought this on yourself, you know", Ben mumbled, his tone tinged with sarcasm as he carefully wrapped the bandage around your throbbing wrist. "Trying to take a swing at me like that. That's the price you pay for trying to hurt the big bad supe".

Despite the pain in your wrist, you couldn't help but roll your eyes at his remark.

After a moment, Ben cupped your cheek, a conflicted expression crossed his face. His gaze softened as he looked into your eyes, a silent apology lingering in the depths of his stare. Despite his pride, he knew deep down that he had overreacted, but his stubbornness prevented him from vocalizing his regret.

For a moment, the tension between you seemed to melt away as you gazed at each other, the weight of unspoken apologies hanging in the air.

As the tension eased between you, Ben leaned in, pressing his lips gently against yours. The kiss was tender, a silent reassurance of his feelings despite the what just had happened.

With a swift motion, Ben lifted you onto the kitchen counter, his hands firmly gripping your ass cheeks as he positioned himself between your legs without breaking the kiss. The intensity of his touch sent shivers down your spine.

Your healthy hand wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened, your lips moving in sync with his in a desperate need for connection.

As the kiss deepened, Ben's hands roamed over your body, tracing the curves of your hips and thighs with a possessive urgency.

With each caress, you felt yourself melting into his embrace, your desire for him growing with every passing moment. His lips moved hungrily against yours.

Unable to resist any longer, you arched your back, pressing your body closer to his as the heat between you intensified.

As Ben's lips moved against yours, a low, guttural groan escaped from deep within his chest. "You're mine", he murmured between kisses, his voice rough with desire. "No one else is supposed to touch you like this".

His hands roamed up your thighs, pushing up your skirt roughly as he pulled you closer to the edge of the counter. The urgency in his touch spoke volumes, conveying the depth of his need for you in that moment.

You moaned softly in response, the sensation of his hands on your skin sending shivers down your spine.

As Ben struggled with his supe suit, his hands trembling with need, you steadied yourself on his biceps, your fingers gripping the fabric of his suit.

With careful movements, you avoided putting too much pressure on your injured wrist, mindful of the pain it still caused you. Despite the discomfort, the urgency of the moment spurred you on.

As his belt finally gave way under his fingers, he let out a low growl of satisfaction, his gaze locking with yours as he stepped even closer, the heat of his body radiating against your skin.

With a smirk, Ben pulled out his throbbing dick, his gaze dark with desire as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties, pulling them aside.

"You're always wet for me", he teased, his voice husky with arousal. "I don't even need to check".

His words sent a shiver down your spine, anticipation building as you felt the heat of his breath against your skin.

You couldn't help but voice your concern as Ben positioned himself between your legs, ready to thrust inside you.

"What if someone walks in?", you asked, a hint of worry in your voice.

Ben chuckled, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "Let them walk in. I want everyone to see how badly you need me".

His words sent a shiver down your spine as you realized just how possessive and dominant he could be.

As Ben bottomed out with the first rough thrust, a gasp escaped your lips, your breath hitching in response to the sudden, overwhelming pleasure.

His lips curled into a smirk as he felt your body respond to him. "That's it, sweetheart", he murmured. "No one else can make you feel this good, can they? Only me".

As Ben began to move, his thrusts becoming urgent and desperate, you surrendered completely to the pleasure he offered.

Your head fell back, your breath coming in shallow gasps as you surrendered to the sensation of being filled by him once again. The wet sound of your pussy echoed in the room, mixing with the rhythm of his movements as he pushed himself deeper with each thrust.

Every minute without him had felt like an eternity, but now that he was here, buried inside you, you couldn't get enough of him.

Ben's gaze was fixed on you, his intense stare capturing every small movement and reaction as he thrust into you. He was completely focused on the sweet sounds you made with each movement of his hips, savoring every gasp, moan, and whimper that escaped your lips.

With a low growl of satisfaction, he leaned in closer. "You sound so fucking good, sweetheart. I could listen to you all day".

With his words, your body tensed around him, your inner muscles clenching tightly around his throbbing length. The sensation was enough to send Ben over the edge, his own release crashing over him in powerful waves.

With a guttural groan, he spilled himself deep inside you, his hot seed flooding your core as he continued to thrust into you.

Ben collapsed against you, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. You wrapped your arms around him, holding him close as you both savored the intimacy of the moment.

He savored the intoxicating scent of your skin mingled with the faint trace of your perfume. He couldn't help but feel a surge of desire coursing through him. The heady mix of his powerful presence, the tight confines of his supe suit, and the vulnerability he allowed himself to feel in that moment sent another wave of heat straight to your core.

You couldn't suppress a gasp as you felt the familiar throbbing sensation between your legs, your body responding instinctively to his proximity. Ben groaned softly against your skin, his breath hot against your neck as he too felt the undeniable pull of desire.

Lost in the moment, you pressed yourself closer to him, craving the feel of his strong arms around you and the electric connection between your bodies.

Ben carefully pulled out of you, his movements deliberate as he made sure none of his seed spilled. With practiced ease, he helped you adjust your clothing, pulling your panties back up your body.

"There", he murmured, his voice laced with a mixture of satisfaction and tenderness. "All taken care of".

“Keep it inside”, Ben ordered.

You raised an eyebrow at him, a hint of amusement dancing in your eyes. "Again?".

Ben chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he leaned in closer. "Yes, again”, he whispered huskily. "It turns me on knowing you're filled with me".

You couldn't help but blush at his boldness, feeling a surge of arousal at his words.

You hesitated for a moment, the thought of Ben's cum still inside you was both thrilling and slightly nerve-wracking. But the intensity of his gaze and the desire evident in his voice left you unable to resist.

"Keep it inside until tonight", he mumbled, his voice commanding yet tinged with a hint of anticipation. "I want you to sit through the meeting with me, knowing that my cum is creaming your sweet little pussy".

You swallowed hard but nodded.

After a few minutes of making sure you can stand on your own feet again, Ben made his way downstairs, his presence commanded attention, and the heads of departments from Vought fell into line, their expressions a mixture of surprise and apprehension. Standing before them, Ben wasted no time asserting his authority, making it clear that he was the one in charge now.

"I'm calling the shots from now on", he declared firmly, his voice carrying authority as he addressed the assembled group. "Any orders come from me, and you follow them without fucking question. Understood?".

His words left no room for dissent, and the heads of departments nodded in acknowledgment, knowing better than to defy Soldier Boy.

With his position as the new leader firmly established, Ben wasted no time in outlining his expectations and directives for the future of Vought. He laid out plans for expansion, innovation, and increased profitability, his vision for the company clear and ambitious.

As the meeting progressed, Ben's confidence and decisiveness left a strong impression on those in attendance. Despite initial skepticism, many began to see the potential for growth and success under his leadership.

after what felt like an eternity, Ben entered his office , his eyes locked onto you sitting on the couch, a mixture of pride and possessiveness evident in his gaze. He made his way over to you.

"You look good there", he remarked. "That's where you belong, by my side".

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his slightly misogynistic comment, but a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips nonetheless.

Ben reached out to gently pull you to your feet, being careful of your injured wrist.

"Everything went according to plan", he mumbled. "I made it clear who's in charge now".

You nodded, relieved to hear that everything went smoothly. "That's good to hear", you said, a sense of pride in your voice.

Ben pulled you close against his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, he began to pepper kisses along your neck.

"You know", he murmured teasingly against your skin, "you're getting fucked by the strongest and mightiest being on the planet".

You couldn't help but chuckle at his teasing tone, a playful glint in your eyes as you tilted your head to give him better access to your neck.

"And here I thought I was just getting fucked by an arrogant, egotistical supe on coke", you teased back, a smirk playing on your lips.

Ben let out a low growl, his grip tightening around you as he nipped lightly at your skin. "Watch your mouth, sweetheart", he warned, his voice husky with desire. "Or I might have to remind you who's really in fucking charge here".

"Ooh, I'm scared", you mocked. "What are you gonna do? Spank me?".

Ben's lips curled into a wicked grin, his warm breath ghosting over your skin. "Maybe I will", he murmured, his voice low and seductive.

Your heart raced at the promise in his words, a thrill of anticipation coursing through you as you pressed closer to him, eager for whatever he had in store.

Ben's gloved fingers slipped under your skirt and into your panties. You gasped at the sudden sensation.

"You're really eager to check, aren't you?", you teased, a smirk playing on your lips as you met his heated gaze. "Can't get enough of your own handiwork?".

Ben chuckled as he traced his fingers along the delicate folds of your pussy. "I just want to make sure you're still full of me", he murmured. "And if not, I'll just have to fill you up again".

With a sly grin, Ben brought his hand back from beneath your skirt, his middle finger glistening with a mixture of his and your cum. Holding it up to your lips, he teased you with the intoxicating scent, his gaze smoldering with desire.

"Open up", he commanded softly, his voice thick with arousal as he watched you intently.

Your heart raced as you obediently parted your lips, welcoming his finger inside your mouth. The taste of your combined essence flooded your senses, igniting a fiery hunger within you as you sucked his finger greedily.

Ben's smirk deepened as he watched your eager response, his own desire mounting with each passing moment. With a satisfied hum, he slowly withdrew his finger from your mouth, his eyes dark with lust as he gazed down at you.

"Look what you do to me", Ben commanded. His hand guided yours towards the prominent bulge beneath his suit.

Your breath caught in your throat as you felt the undeniable evidence of his arousal pressing against the fabric, the heat of his desire palpable against your hand. With a mixture of excitement and anticipation, you eagerly traced the contours of his bulge, reveling in the power you held over him.

Ben's grip tightened on your hand as he watched you. "You like that, don't you?", he murmured. "You like knowing how much you turn me on".

You could only nod in response, your own desire mounting with each passing second. With a hungry growl, Ben captured your lips in a searing kiss, his need for you burning hotter than before.

With the sound of footsteps approaching, Ben reluctantly pulled away from you, his lips lingering for a moment before he stepped back, adjusting his supe suit.

"I would love to continue this", he murmured, "but business is calling".

You nodded softly, your own pulse still racing with excitement. As Butcher and the rest of the team entered the room, Ben straightened, his demeanor shifting back to his authoritative self.

Butcher's sarcastic tone cut through the tension in the room as he asked, "So, you two bloody lovebirds ready?".

Annie's gaze shifted between you and Ben, her expression unreadable. You cleared your throat, trying to regain your composure as you followed Ben towards the office of the Seven.

As Ben pulled back the chair for you, he gestured for you to take a seat at the head of the table. Meanwhile, he positioned himself slightly behind you, standing in front of the window.

"Alright, listen up", Ben began, his voice commanding attention. "Here's the plan: you lot are the new Seven. Not because I like you, but because I need to keep you under fucking control".

His words were firm as he laid out his intentions for the future of the team.

Butcher's expression hardened as he crossed his arms, clearly not thrilled with Ben's plan. "And why the bloody hell should we listen to you?", he challenged, his tone defiant.

Ben's jaw tightened as he met Butcher's gaze head-on. "Because if you don't, you'll regret it", he replied firmly. "And I'm not asking for your fucking approval, Butcher. I'm telling you how it's going to be".

A-Train spoke up, his voice tinged with skepticism. "And what if we don't fall in line?", he asked, his tone challenging.

Ben's lips curled into a smirk, his gaze shifting to A-Train with an air of superiority. "Oh, you think I'll kill you if you don't?", he retorted. "No, A-Train. I won't kill you. But I'll make your life a living hell until you wish you were fucking dead".

Fortunately, no one made any major moves. Probably because no one wanted to escalate the situation. At least not at this moment

Ben dismissed the team and they filed out of the room, he turned to you with a determined look in his eyes.

He reached out, gently cupping your cheek in his gloved hand, his touch surprisingly gentle despite the intensity of the moment.

"I need to make some preparations for tonight", he said. "Will you be okay here on your own for a while?".

You nodded, offering him a reassuring smile. "Of course, Ben. I'll be fine. Just take care of what you need to do".

Ben's lips curved into a faint smile at your reassurance. "Good", he murmured, his gaze softening as he looked into your eyes. "After all this, I have a little surprise for you".

Your eyebrows lifted in curiosity at his words, a hint of excitement bubbling within you. "A surprise?", you echoed, unable to suppress the smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

Ben leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead before pulling away. "Yeah", he replied cryptically, his voice tinged with anticipation. "But you'll have to wait and see".

With that, he turned and left the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the promise of something special to come.

Two hours later, amidst a throng of flashing cameras and eager reporters, Ben stood tall and confident as he addressed the gathered media.

"I am pleased to announce that I have taken over Vought Industries", he declared, his voice projecting authority and assurance. "I am committed to working closely with the government to ensure the safety and well-being of our citizens, and to restore trust in our heroes".

The reporters clamored to ask questions, but Ben remained composed, his answers measured and deliberate as he outlined his vision for the future of Vought and its role in society.

As the press conference came to a close, Ben stepped away from the podium, a sense of accomplishment evident in his demeanor. He knew that this was just the beginning.

Despite the limited number of questions he answered, the media seemed satisfied with Ben's brief appearance and his vague yet promising statements. After all, as Soldier Boy, he wasn't an unknown figure, and his sudden rise to power at Vought was sure to generate headlines and speculation for days to come.

As you wandered through the top floor of Vought, your thoughts swirled with the events of the past year, from the tumultuous ups and downs to the unexpected twists and turns. Lost in contemplation, you were startled when Ben suddenly appeared before you.

"Hey", Ben murmured softly as he closed the distance between you, his warm smile melting away the tension that had built up within you. "There you are".

His voice held a hint of relief, as if seeing you had eased some invisible burden from his shoulders.

"Are you ready to head out?", Ben inquired, his gaze lingering on yours as he awaited your response.

You nodded softly.

As Ben placed his hand on your lower back and guided you towards the elevators, you couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort and security in his presence.

As Ben drove out of the city after getting some takeaway, you couldn't help but feel curious about your destination.

"Where are we going?", you asked, your voice betraying your fatigue.

Ben grinned mischievously. "I told you it´s a surprise", he replied, his eyes twinkling with excitement.

You sighed, leaning back in your seat. "I hope it's worth the mystery".

"Trust me, it'll be worth it", Ben assured you, his gaze fixed on the road ahead.

As Ben parked the car in front of a cozy house surrounded by beautiful nature, you couldn't help but feel a sense of tranquility wash over you.

"Is this… where we're staying?", you asked, a hint of surprise in your voice.

Ben nodded, a pleased smile spreading across his face. "Yep, this is it", he replied, his eyes scanning the surroundings with contentment.

You glanced around, taking in the peaceful scenery. "It's beautiful", you remarked, feeling a sense of relaxation settle over you.

Ben grinned. "I'm glad you like it", he said, his voice soft with affection.

With a smile, you leaned over to give him a quick kiss before stepping out of the car, excited to explore your temporary retreat in the midst of nature.

With the takeaway food in hand, you followed Ben to the front door. He turned the key and pushed the door open, ushering you inside.

As you stepped into the cozy interior, you glanced around, taking in the warm and inviting atmosphere of the house. The soft glow of the lamps cast a comforting light over the living room, and you noticed a crackling fireplace in the corner, filling the space with a cozy ambiance.

“This place is amazing”, you remarked, a smile playing at your lips as you set the food down on the nearby table.

Ben´s grin widend, pleased by your reaction. “Fucking glad you think so”, he replied, closing the door behind you.

As Ben rubbed his neck nervously, he took a deep breath before speaking. "Cause… I actually bought this place", he confessed, his gaze flickering to yours.

Your eyes widened in astonishment, and for a moment, you were rendered speechless by his revelation.

Sensing your surprise, Ben hesitated, his nerves palpable as he continued. "I know it's sudden, but… I was thinking, maybe you'd like to… stay here with me?", he asked tentatively, his words hanging in the air as he awaited your response.

Ben was nervous. Fucking nervous. You've never seen him like this before.

You cleared your throat, feeling the weight of his question hanging in the air. Hesitantly, you met his gaze and quietly asked, "Are you asking me to move in with you?".

Ben's heart raced, his vulnerability making him feel somewhat exposed. He took a deep breath before meeting your eyes again. "I just want to know you're safe, that's all".

As Ben's words sank in, you couldn't help but feel a flutter of warmth in your chest, but at the same time, a twinge of disappointment lingered. Despite all you've been through together, he still hadn't asked you to be his girlfriend or shown any clear commitment.

Biting your lip, you tried to hide the subtle sadness that crept into your expression, unsure of how to respond.

"I appreciate that, Ben", you said softly, forcing a small smile despite the conflicting emotions swirling inside you. "And I feel safe with you too. But…", you trailed off, unable to find the right words to express your thoughts.

As Ben sensed your sadness, he stepped closer and placed both of his hands on your lower back, pulling you gently towards him.

"But what?", he asked softly, his gaze searching yours with concern.

Ben's heart raced with apprehension, his usual confidence faltering in the face of vulnerability. He feared your rejection, uncertain of how to navigate this unfamiliar territory.

As tears welled up in your eyes, Ben's heart clenched with regret. This wasn't how he envisioned this moment. He had hoped that buying the house for the two of you would bring you joy, not tears.

With gentle hands, Ben lifted your chin, his touch tender as he looked into your eyes, searching for answers.

"Baby, what's wrong?", he asked. "Talk to me".

With a hesitant breath, you finally voiced the question that had been weighing on your mind for months.

"Where do we stand, Ben?", you whispered softly, your voice barely audible as you searched his eyes for an answer.

Ben's heart raced faster, his mind scrambling for the right words to say. He wasn't prepared for this conversation, not ready to confront his own feelings and desires.

"I don't know", he finally admitted, his voice tinged with uncertainty as he looked into your eyes. "I care about you, more than I can put into words. But I'm not sure where we stand".

Feeling your heart shatter, more tears gathered in your eyes. With trembling hands, you pulled back from Ben's touch. The uncertainty in his words cut deeper than you expected, leaving you feeling vulnerable and exposed.

"I understand", you whispered, your voice barely audible as you fought to keep your emotions in check. "I… I need some time to… to think".

Your words hung heavy in the air, the weight of the moment pressing down on both of you as you grappled with the uncertainty of your relationship.

Ben sighed heavily, his hand reaching out to gently grasp your arm. "Please", he said softly, his voice tinged with desperation. "Let me explain".

But you couldn't bear the thought of more uncertainty, the hurt too raw and overwhelming. Pulling away from his touch, you shook your head, unable to find the words to express the depth of your pain.

"No. I… I need to be alone right now", you mumbled, turning towards the door to leave.

You told him you loved him and he just couldn't bring himself to tell you how he felt about you. After all, he was the first man you had confessed your feelings to. You just felt so stupid. Maybe he just didn't love you the way you loved him?

Ben sighed again, his heart heavy with regret as he watched your tears fall. "Let me at least drive you to the next hotel. I can't stand the thought of leaving you like this".

You hesitated, torn between your desire to be with Ben and your need for clarity in your relationship. Finally, you nodded reluctantly, wiping away your tears with the back of your hand.

"Okay", you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. "Take me to the hotel".

With a heavy heart, Ben led you back to the car, his mind consumed with thoughts of how he could make things right with you.

He knew that if he forced you to stay with him at that moment, he would only hurt you more. If there's one thing he's learned by now, it's to let you go your own way every now and then and not force yours on you. Even if every fiber of his body resisted. Even though he hated not having you around.

As Ben parked the car in front of the hotel, he turned to you, his eyes reflecting the turmoil in his heart. Without saying a word, he reached out, taking your hand in his.

"You won't leave me, will you?", he asked, his voice filled with vulnerability. The fear of losing you weighed heavily on him, and he couldn't bear the thought of being without you forever.

Feeling the weight of your silence, Ben watched helplessly as you stepped out of the car without another word. He clenched his fists, his mind racing with a whirlwind of emotions, but he knew better than to push you further. With a heavy heart, he remained in the car, allowing you the space you needed.

———————————

A/N: ._. down we go. Please let me know what you think.🥰

-

Taglist: @deangirl96, @thatgirljayy, @suckitands33, @deans-spinster-witch@mimaria420@kaz11283@uncle-eggy@jackles010378@vxnilla-hxrddrugs @meowmeowyoongles@sarahgracej @zemosdarling228 @leila22rogers @mostlymarvelgirl@emily-winchester @blacknoirr @onlyangel-444@seasonofthenerd@staple-your-mouth@artemys-ackles@selfdestructionandrhum@mystic-mara @kat-nee

#jensen ackles #soldier boy #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x y/n #the boys #billy butcher #smut

[ros3ybabe]

🎀 Overcoming Gym Anxiety 🎀

I got asked about this through my inbox by @sxfiaaa so I figured I'd make a post about it and hopefully help a lot of people with something I too used to struggle with!

🩷 Wear Comfortable Clothing

We've all seen the beautifully dressed people on Tiktok, Pinterest, etc in their matching sets and cutr gym clothes. If that is what you're comfortable wearing to the gym, do it! Wear it, and be confident in it! If you're more of a loose clothes/sweatpants/baggy shirts or hoodie type of person, do that! Wear whatever you feel comfortable (and cute) in, because the better you feel going into a workout, the more you'll be able to focus on your workout!

🩷 Know What You're Doing When You're There

This just means go in with a plan! You don't need to know how to use every single machine or do every single exercise known to mankind. Scroll tiktok or pinterest for some workout videos for inspo (please make sure the video you get inspo from shows proper form!!! Proper form is so important for being safe!!)

If you know you can go certain days of the week, make a workout split to follow that! EX 3 day split: Monday - Leg Day, Wednesday - Upper Body, Friday - Full Body

OR, if you just want to go do cardio, then plan for that! I didn't know how to use a treadmill, but I went to the gym at my university and stood on the treadmill til I figured it out!

🩷 Remember This

No one is going to look at you and judge you or think mean things about you. Everyone is at the gym for the purpose of bettering themselves and their health. If you find people giving you occasional glances, maybe it's because they don't recognize you from the gym (or they do recognize you from somewhere else), maybe their admiring your outfit/physique, maybe their avid gym goers who are watching your form and technique, or maybe their just zoned out and you happen to be in the line of sight.

When I'm at the gym, I look around between sets and take note on other people's form to see if maybe I should tweak the way I do a certain exercise, or I'm admiring another girls outfit or physique because there are a lot of beautiful women at the gym. Sometimes, I'm thinking "dang, they're lifting so heavy, how cool!" or "wow, their form is amazing, they really know what they're doing." I've never thought bad abut someone at the gym because why would I?

🩷 Don't Be Scared To Ask For Help

if there an exercise you really want to do but don't know how and videos aren't helping, ask someone around you who isn't in the middle of an exercise and looks like they may know. The guy at the gym doing upper body who has good biceps may be the right guy to ask about upper body exercises. The girl doing impeccable Bulgarian Split Squats might be the right person to ask for help with those types of movements. Just make sure they aren't in the middle of an exercise, because that can cause some unwanted issues, especially if they're mid-rep, that can turn into a safety issue.

People love to help people, especially at the gym. If you politely ask for help from someone, they may take it as a compliment that you think they look like a person who is knowledgeable on working out. I'd definitely be so flattered if someone asked me for help or advice at the gym!

🩷 Random Advice:

remember your why! no matter how anxious you are, remember why you're going! what are your goals, what do you hope to achieve, how proud will you feel after?

start small if you have to! if it's really anxiety inducing to start working out, make it your first goal to at least step into the gym. then 2nd goal, walk around the gym to get a feel for it. 3rd goal, maybe 5-10 minutes on a treadmill, and then keep building momentum each day.

be careful with the hours you go! there is such a thing as peak gym hours. It varies by place, but a lot of gyms are busy between 2pm and 6pm I've seen. I personally love going to the gym super early morning, it's a little less busy and I'm a morning person so it works out for me! If you can only go during peak hours, bring a friend or keep your headphones on and do your thing!

Bring a friend! If you're really anxious about going alone, bring a friend with similar goals! Sometimes it can be a lot nicer to learn something new with a friend then try and learn it on your own! Plus, it's like extra motivation and accountability!

Have a motivating pre workout routine. Play some music while getting ready, prep your bags, prep your playlist, get your workout itself figured out, and just keep yourself excited to go! I love blasting high-energy music that makes me feel like a baddie on my way to the gym.

I hope this was helpful!! My thoughts were everywhere but I tried to convey them as best as possible! I'm happy to answer any questions or offer more tips and advice, don't feel scared to ask! <3

til next time lovelies 🩷

#pink pilates girl #pink pilates princess #self development #wonyoungism #it girl #mental health #self care #physical health #that girl #self love #clean girl #green juice girl #that girl energy #becoming that girl #it girl self care #it girl energy #health and fitness #pink moodboard #pink blog #pink aesthetic #pilates tips #pilates aesthetic #vanilla girl #dream girl #girl blogger #college student #student life #high value woman #wonyoung motivation #wonyoung aesthetic

[burntheedges]

Maintenance Request Chapter 20

Joel Miller x f!reader | new chapter every Friday 18+ | ao3 | main post & chapter list chapter word count: 3.3k

chapter summary: when Joel met Ellie 👀

a/n: thank you as always to @katareyoudrilling for being the best beta 💕

chapter tags/warnings: flirting, banter, fluff, cursing, food and drink mention, pet names (honey, gorgeous, darlin’, baby, sweetheart, pretty girl, good girl, handsome, cowboy), tricky conversations, typical Ellie bluntness

Chapter 20

Saturday, November 16 Twelfth week of the semester

In the week leading up to The Meeting, as Beth had been calling it for days (in a ridiculously deep, dramatic voice), you were nervous. You knew Joel was a good guy, and you wanted Ellie to like him. But you wanted her to like him on her own, not because you pushed her, or because she felt like she had to for you. 

Beth joined you and Joel for lunch by the psych building on Friday, even though your schedules only overlapped for 30 minutes. Afterwards she blew up the group chat you had with Ellie with her review (“He’s pathetically into your aunt, like it’s written all over his face. He seems like a good one”). You got the go ahead from your sister (who was working that weekend), which wasn’t actually difficult but you were glad to have it anyway. 

By Saturday, you were so nervous you googled breathing exercises on your phone while you waited for Beth and Ellie to come pick you up. Joel was going to meet you at the restaurant, after Tommy picked up Sarah to take her to soccer practice. You tried to tell yourself not to be nervous but it didn’t work. You felt like you actually had plenty to be nervous about, so you couldn’t trick yourself out of it.

You were in the process of breathing in 1-2-3-4 and holding it when your phone buzzed with a text from Ellie saying they were outside. You released your breath and took one more deep one before gathering yourself to leave.

Ellie was in the front seat of Beth’s car and stuck her tongue out at you, so you rolled your eyes and got in the back.

“Morning,” you said as you slid into the seat.

“Morning!” Beth sounded cheery, at least. “Here we go!” You sighed and tried to force the muscles in your back to relax. 

The brunch spot wasn’t far from your apartment, and during the ride there you poked at Ellie a little bit to try to gauge her mood. She seemed fine, if wary. That was probably the best you could have hoped for.

Joel was waiting for you outside of the restaurant when you arrived. He was looking pretty nervous himself. He had his hands in his pockets and he was trying to look casual, but his shoulders were tense.

“Hey, darlin,” he murmured as he leaned in to kiss your cheek.

“Morning, Joel.” You smiled and gestured behind you. “You know Beth. And this is Ellie.”

Joel and Ellie looked at each other for a moment in silence. She was squinting at him fiercely and you could tell he was trying not to smile in response.

“Nice to meet you, Ellie.” Joel nodded at her and you were suddenly glad he seemed to intuit that offering a handshake was not a good idea. “Heard a lot about you from your aunt.”

“Hi,” she replied, eyes narrowed. “What did you hear?”

Joel couldn’t hold back the smile anymore. “Heard you made a pretty cool presentation about the Emu War. How’d that go?”

Ellie looked torn between her warring desires to give Joel the third degree or to monologue about the Emu War at any given opportunity. “Um, fine.” She visibly bit back something else and you sighed.

“Let’s go get a table and then maybe she’ll tell you all about it.” You gestured to the restaurant and Beth moved behind you to open the door.

“Bet I can recite your presentation from memory.” Beth grinned as she teased Ellie, who rolled her eyes.

“Bet me what? I bet you can’t.” Ellie crossed her arms as she entered the restaurant and you laughed.

“Hmm,” you heard Beth muse as you stepped up to the host station to get a table. “I’ll buy you another weird little guy of your choice.”

“Deal!” Ellie sounded gleeful. “Get ready to perform.”

You mentally thanked Beth for putting her more at ease in this unfamiliar situation as you all followed the host to a table and sat down. Joel sat next to you on your left, with Beth across from him and Ellie across from you.

Your conversation got stuck on the Emu War for a bit (Beth managed to postpone her performance and bet fulfillment until you weren’t in public) and you tried not to watch Joel and Ellie too closely. You realized you were twisting your hands together under the table when Joel reached over and gently laid his hand on top of yours, pulling them apart to tangle your fingers together and rest them on your thigh. You took a deep breath.

Before you could say anything, though, Ellie beat you to it.

“So, Joel. What are your intentions with my aunt?” She stared him down, eyebrows furrowed, arms crossed on the table in front of her. It sounded like she had rehearsed the question before asking it. Intentions, you mouthed to yourself. You caught Beth’s eye and realized your best friend was grinning. 

Joel squeezed your hand before he nodded and replied. “I’m serious about her, about us. I care about her a lot. I want to be good for her.”

Ellie hummed, and was briefly interrupted by your drinks arriving. She took a long sip of her orange juice.

“I have some questions.” She said it like she was throwing out a gauntlet. You resisted the urge to hide your face in your hands.

Joel nodded, face serious. “Ask ‘em.”

And then rapid fire, she did.

“You have a kid, right? What happened to her mom?”

Joel didn’t even flinch. “She left, isn’t coming back. We weren’t together long. You’ll have to talk to Sarah for more details.”

Ellie squinted like maybe she wanted to ask a follow up, but proceeded to her next question. You were starting to suspect she’d made a list and wondered if she had it written down in one of her pockets.

“Have you ever been arrested?” You closed your eyes and took a long sip of your coffee.

“Not really. Got thrown into the drunk tank once and I wasn’t even drunk. My little brother was actin’ up in public, got us both in trouble.” You tried not to laugh at this new information about Tommy, even as you realized Joel had apparently chosen the path of extreme honesty. You didn’t want to interrupt Ellie’s interrogation but you wondered if there was a limit.

“Hmm. Ok. Have you ever done drugs?”

Joel shook his head. “Just smoked weed a few times in high school. Used to smoke cigarettes before Sarah was born. Quit when she came along.”

Ellie leaned back in her chair, hands tense on the edge of the table. “What’s your worst habit?”

Joel smirked. “Probably leavin’ my towel on the floor in the bathroom. And sometimes I’m a grouch.” You met Beth’s eyes and looked away sharply before you both could laugh. Joel pressed your clasped hands into your thigh, like somehow he knew you were struggling to hold it together.

“What’s your daughter’s favorite tv show?”

Joel grimaced. “She likes that dating show, the new one where they don’t see each other at first. I hate it.”

“Do you watch it with her?” Ellie raised her eyebrows. 

“Sometimes. She likes watchin’ it with Tommy better, he likes it more’n me. She says I bring down the vibe.” He shrugged.

“When’s the last time you had an argument with her?” 

Joel tilted his head, considering. “Maybe last week? Wasn’t really an argument. She made me drink some orange juice in the morning, said I can’t live off coffee alone. Or I guess maybe when she wanted to go to a sleepover but I wouldn’t let her. I haven’t met those parents yet. But you’d have to ask her what she thinks about it.”

You watched Ellie’s face carefully and could see that she was relaxing a bit. You could guess at her reasoning for some of these questions, but not all of them.

“Why do you like my aunt?”

Joel raised his eyebrows in response and Ellie raised hers right back, expression unchanged. “Well. Alright then. She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, and I love learning how she thinks and how she sees the world. She’s funny, been making me laugh since the first day we talked. She’s got good taste in music.” He glanced at you and smiled the little half smile that you loved. “And she cares about people. You can see it in the way she teaches, in how she talks to her students. She wants to help them. She gives so much of herself to everyone around her. I want to do the same for her.” You bit your lip as you felt a sudden tightness behind your eyes. He winked at you. “And she’s gorgeous.” You laughed.

Ellie squinted at him again, frowning. “I mean, she’s the fucking best, I know that. But you better know that, too.”

He grinned at her. “I do know that. She is the fucking best.” He raised his eyebrows at her again when he echoed her curse. “And for some reason she seems to like me. I’m not arguin’.”

You elbowed him. “Joel, you know–”

He shook his head at you. “I know, darlin’, I swear I’ve been listenin’. But right now I’m tellin’ Ellie all the reasons I like you.”

You sighed, but Beth cut in. “Wait, I have a question.”

Ellie looked at her skeptically. You both did. Joel didn’t, but he hadn’t known her as long.

“What? I do!”

Joel smiled. “Go ahead.”

Beth grinned, and you started to worry. “Alright, we need to know, and you have to be honest. How bad at dancing is she? We’ve seen her dance! We know the truth!”

Ellie burst out laughing and despite your own annoyance, you grinned at the sight. “Yeah!” She agreed through her laughter. “Tell us!”

Joel looked at you and smiled, gently. “Nah, she was great. Didn’t even step on my feet. She followed my lead just fine.” You felt your cheeks heat in response.

“Oh, come on! That's it?” Beth nudged Ellie with her elbow.

“That’s it.” He nodded and squeezed your hand again. “I’d dance with her anytime.”

“Gross.” Ellie rolled her eyes, and you knew she was feeling more comfortable.

Joel straightened in his seat as the food arrived and released your hand. “Can I ask you some questions now?” 

Ellie immediately looked suspicious but nodded, grudgingly.

“Alright. I heard you started the art club. What kind of art?” He took a bite of his food after he asked, looking at Ellie expectantly.

She glanced between him and you, clearly unsure. You nodded at her in encouragement. 

“You want to hear about that?” She sounded skeptical.

He nodded. “I do. Sounds like maybe it took a lot of work. Are you in charge of the club?”

Ellie continued to squint at him but answered. “No, I’m the vice president. I didn’t want to be the president but they made me pick something.” You snorted and she rolled her eyes at you. “My teacher says I’m not enough of a people person to be president anyway.” She looked like she wanted to swallow those words back after she said them, and glanced at Joel warily. You frowned.

“Sounds like your teacher might need to work on their own people skills, if you ask me.” Joel grumbled and furrowed his brow at his plate and you wondered if he was thinking about Sarah’s mean chemistry teacher. Ellie looked like she wanted to agree and was conflicted about it.

“That’s what I said,” Beth agreed, nodding. “You’d be a great president.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to be president, anyway.” She shrugged.

“Sarah’s thinking about trying out for varsity soccer next year, not just playing outside of school,” Joel offered. “I told her maybe she should start a club of her own, somethin’ to do with reading, since she’s been doing it so much.” He nudged you as he said it and you smiled. 

“There might be a book club already,” Ellie offered, voice neutral. “I dunno what they have.” Ellie and Sarah went to different schools, on opposite sides of the town. The schools were almost identical other than Ellie’s having slightly more artsy offerings for students.

Joel nodded. “Maybe. I’ll tell her to check.” He took a sip of his coffee and glanced from you to Ellie and back again. “Got any more questions for me?”

Ellie furrowed her brows and frowned at her waffle. You watched as she straightened her shoulders and started to wonder how many questions she might have left on her list. 

“How many people have you dated?” Your heart rate picked up at her words and you opened your mouth to interrupt, but Ellie shot you a stubborn look.

Joel answered just as honestly as he had been so far. “Well, I think your aunt and I will keep some of those details between ourselves. But I haven’t dated much, haven’t been in a relationship in a while, not since Sarah’s mom.”

Ellie eyed him and crossed her arms. “That’s it? How do I know you won’t hurt her?” Her face was fixed in a scowl and you didn’t know if you should say something or let Joel answer. He did before you could decide.

“Well, I won’t pretend I’ve always been perfect,” Joel’s voice was even and you could tell he was treading carefully. “But I would never hurt her on purpose. And I would try real hard not to do it accidentally either.” 

Ellie narrowed her eyes, clearly not satisfied with this response. “I was there, you know. After Matt. I know what he was like.” You felt a tightness in your chest as you remembered how much of a mess you were when Ellie came to live with you, freshly free of your relationship with Matt and still figuring yourself out. She’d only been 9 at the time and you’d hoped you’d shielded her from most of it. You blinked against the emotion building behind your eyes. Beth sent you a supportive look from across the table.

“I believe you.” Joel nodded. “But there are parts of our relationship that are just for us, and I’d rather your aunt decide what to tell you about them. I will tell you that I already promised her I’d never treat her that way. She’ll decide if I’m good enough for her. And you should know Sarah would take care of me long before you could get to me, if I ever did anything like that.”

Ellie continued to scowl for a minute, looking first at Joel and then down at her plate. “Ok. I–” she trailed off, looking unsure. “Ok. One more question.”

Joel nodded and you took a deep breath, bracing yourself. 

“Can you cook? Because she’s not great at it.”

Beth cracked up laughing and you gasped. “Ellie!”

She grinned at you, unrepentant. “It’s true, and you know it!”

“Well, I don’t know about that.” Joel turned to you with the half smile that sent shivers down your spine. “Dinner was pretty good the other night.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “She can make, like, 5 things. Do not let her make soup.”

He raised his eyebrows and darted his eyes from her to Beth and back to you. “What happened? Soup’s easy, darlin’, what could go wrong?”

Ellie cackled and launched into the story of the Soup Geyser with infuriating glee. As she did, you looked up and met Beth’s eyes. She grinned at you and nodded, and you felt your shoulders relax in relief. She was right, even though she hadn’t said the words out loud. 

Ellie was teasing you. In front of Joel. Something had gone right, after all.

…

After brunch, Joel offered you a ride, so that Beth and Ellie could go check out some more “weird little guys” before Beth dropped her off at Riley’s. You hugged them both (squeezing Ellie a bit longer than usual) and she promised to text you later. You took a deep breath, knowing that would probably be her final verdict. But she smiled and waved at you, so you hoped it would all be fine.

You found yourself standing next to Joel by the passenger door of his truck and realized you’d been silent for your whole walk from the restaurant. You looked over to find him looking at you, a smile playing around his lips. You smiled back, sheepish.

“Sorry, Joel, I was just thinking.”

He reached out to tangle your fingers together as he crowded you against the passenger door. “I could tell, sweetheart. So? How do you think it went?” He looked a little worried, which was sweet.

“Honestly, Joel, I think it went really well. Sorry about the interrogation.” You sighed as you leaned against the truck.

He shook his head. “No, I expected it, or something like. I’m happy to answer her questions. You know, to a point.” 

You laughed. “She respects honesty. So you probably won some points, with all that.”

He smiled at you and leaned in to press a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Good. I want her to like me. I want her to meet Sarah, too.” 

For a moment the two of you just smiled at each other. You were shaky, like you were coming down from a huge adrenaline rush, and you supposed that wasn’t far off of what happened. You heaved a deep breath, shaking off your nerves. “Do you have some time, Joel? Want to come over for a bit?”

He grinned, a bit wicked. “Tommy’s taking Sarah to a movie after soccer practice. I’m all yours until dinner time, baby.”

You pulled him into a kiss. “Good,” you mumbled against his lips. “Take me home, cowboy.”

…

Ellie (3:02 PM): ok, he’s maybe a little bit cool. he’s alright (3:03 PM): I want to meet Sarah (3:03 PM): but I think he checks out

you (3:05 PM): thanks, Ellie. I’m glad you got along. even if you had to embarrass me to do it

Ellie (3:06 PM): it’s not my fault you can’t make soup (3:07 PM): do you think he meant it when he offered to teach me to play guitar or was he just doing that adult thing where you say nice things to kids 🙄

you(3:08 PM): he meant it. but I’d be there too. if you’re interested

Ellie (3:10 PM): I’ll think about it (3:14 PM): Beth was right though. he’s pathetically into you (3:15 PM): like I thought you were bad (3:15 PM): but he’s on a whole other level

you (3:16 PM): I thought you’d be happy about that

Ellie (3:17 PM): don’t make me admit to having feelings

you(3:18 PM): 😇

…

sis 👯 (4:12 PM): finally, my break! How did it go?

you (4:15 PM): yay! I think it went ok? You should ask Ellie but her official verdict is that he’s “alright” and maybe “a little bit cool”

sis 👯 (4:16 PM): well damn. High praise

you (4:16 PM): I know!

sis 👯 (4:18 PM): I’m heading back in but now I want to meet him, too

you(4:19 PM): of course! He’d love that. Also he offered to teach Ellie to play guitar and I could tell she was interested, but I promised I’d be there if she does want to take lessons. To make her comfortable

sis 👯 (4:20 PM): she’d probably love that, if she does actually think he’s alright. But yeah I’d want you there. And not until after I meet him.

you (4:21 PM): of course 👍

...

a/n: they met! it happened! what do we think?

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[dlysthings]

Little crush pt.6

-> Previous part <-

A/N: Im so sorry for how much time it took me to write this part, but these past 2 weeks i was sick and ha a lot of sterss at school so i apologise. This is not proofread and english is not my native language so i apologise for any mistakes.

At the woods Daryl was finally at piece, the only place that could give him this scarce pleasure. The sound of the running water around him never filed at calming him down. The creek on which’s side he was sitting on was his little sanctuary, hidden deep into the forest around your town. The sounds were slowly starting to put his mind at ease. He needed that, craved it. After the pain he felt at lunch he needed to take his mind of that, forget a bit about it so he can face it later. It wasn’t the best strategy but it worked for him. If pushing it down until it all became too much to handle and lashed out on the nearest person to him. The only thing he worried about was this person to not be you. Even after hurting him you didn’t deserve his harsh words. He would never hurt you, ever.

But even his own little heaven on earth couldn’t make him stop thinking of today. Why did you not come? At the end it was your idea, so maybe you actually liked spending time with him. Or at least that was what he thought. Maybe one of your friend heard about it and reminded you of the trash he actually was and then you decided to just don’t show up. It should be this. You didn’t want your friends to see you sitting with the “weirdo redneck” the whole school knew him as. And he couldn’t blame you, how could he? At the end of the day he needed to remember who he was.

Still this didn’t stop him from feeling hurt and let down by you. The excitement he felt when he bought the piece of cheesecake, hoping it will bring a smile to your face, was almost overwhelming. His heart was beating like a jackhammer inside his chest. While he waited for you to come and sit, he was thinking how to ask you out. Of course he couldn’t be smooth like the popular guys and straight up ask you. He was thinking that maybe going into the woods and showing you his favorite spots with the reason that was for your upcoming biology quiz. At your house you seemed interested at the subject so he thought this was perfect. And maybe if he was brave enough he could ask you out on a real date. Buy you dinner and walk you to your house. Maybe you would have given him another kiss on the cheek.

Yet that was only om his head. As soon as he saw you with your back to him, sitting with your friends, he knew he shouldn’t have lie to himself. Both of you were from different worlds and he needed to understand that. From now on he would keep his distance from you. Sitting away from you, not staring like he always does. Only this will keep him from being hurt again.

````````````````

The next day his plan was on the verge to fail every time you came within his eye side. In every class the two of you had together you were trying to sit in the closest possible seat, the whole time he could feel your eyes practically glued to his head, but he wouldn’t budge. After every class he would get out the fastest way possible. Even though he didn’t even want to look at you he was secretly hoping, deep down, that you will make him stop and explain that you didn’t dump him yesterday, that it was only a mistake. Something like you forgot or a friend of yours needed you for something really important. But he knew he shouldn’t hope. It was useless.

On the other hand, you were desperate to get Daryl’s attention, trying everything you could think of. The first two times you tried to catch up to him and explain why you didn’t end up with him yesterday, he walked so fast that it was impossible to even think of that. You knew he was ignoring you and you deserved it. But the truth was that you did wanted to sit with him, to be in his company again and to get lost into his beautiful blue eyes.

What happened yesterday was that you completely forgot. Until the moment you saw him leave the cafeteria you were so worried about the fact that you just received another bad grade in Science, a subject that you never seemed to understand, and the whole time were thinking of how to change it. It was so stupid and you knew that you had hurt him. The reason was so foolish and the whole rest of yesterday you were thinking how to explain it so it wouldn’t sound like something made up. At the end you decided to be honest with him. You would tell him the truth about what happened and then pray that he won’t call you a liar and never speak to you again. 

You finally were able to sneak up on him after school. Fort the rest of the school day you were laying low, walking in different hallways to not seem like you were trying to catch him. So he relaxed, thought that you gave up on him and everything is how it always was. Not that he was happy, no. Every time he looked around and didn’t spot you within eye sight he felt a little pang in his heart, making him drop his shoulders. He didn’t even bother trying to listen to any of the teachers. He couldn’t make it a day without seeing you. How pathetic. He didn’t even notice your figure standing next to the door he was about to go through.

“Hey, Daryl, do you have a second?” Your words made him jump, turning towards you, looking like he saw a ghost and he couldn’t take his eyes of you. You were looking amazing as always, but a worried expression was adoring your face. Why would you be worried? Immediately he was the one concerned now. Did something happen to you? It didn’t look like you were crying so that was a good sign. The wrinkle between your eyebrows deepened and he remembered that you had asked him a question. “What do ya want?” The moment he said it he regretted the gruff way he spoke and the way your face turned from worried to sad didn’t help either. Good job ya idiot, now ya made’er sadder. “I’m sorry for yesterday” You said with your eyes looking at the floor, not being able to look into his eyes and see the disappointment and pain in them. “I got a D in Science and was really distracted and at the end forgot. I’m so, so sorry. Let me make it up to you. Do you want to go out sometimes?” At your confession Daryl was dumbfounded. He hoped that you really forgot and had a problem, but he never seriously considered it. He was sure you were too embarrassed to sit with him, let alone ask him to hang out with you. And how could he decline that, maybe he was even able to help you out with your troubles. He was always good at science so maybe he could study again with you.

“Ye-yea, I want’a hang out with ya. I can also help ya with science.” At that he seemed too eager so he tried to play it down with a casually “only if ya want’ta” and leaning on the near wall, looking at the smile appearing on your face like it didn’t make butterflies flutter inside his stomach. In a matter of seconds your face turned from sad and worried to a blinding smile. The knowledge that he was the one to brighten up your mood made him feel prouder than he has ever been. “Really?” The joyful look atop your face was enough to make Daryl weak in the knees. No one has ever looked at him with such a sincere hope as you. The attention you were giving him made his cheek burn in a bright red color and he ducked his head so you wouldn’t see it. There was a warmth inside him, going to every part of his body. Such a unique feeling, but oddly a nice one as well. “So... um..do ya want me ta help ya?” He said. “Of course. Do you want me to come to your house?” You offered, thinking he will prefer to be at his place.

Daryl’s eyes widened at your seemingly innocent suggestion. His heart was beating a thousand miles an hour in his ribcage. Last time he came to your place so it was only fair if this time he was the host. And he was too shy to ask to come to your house again. But there was no way in hell he was letting you see the dump he called “home”. You were looking at him with an anticipating gaze. He couldn’t let you down, disappoint you. Just as he was about to ask to come again at your house an idea formed into his head. There was a place he could always go, calm and safe. A place where he felt at piece and wanted to share with you. The woods he always went to calm down was a perfect place. The side of the creek cutting through the forest was an ideal spot to take you and he wouldn’t need to explain his home situation.

“Actually I was thinkin’ of a spot I know. It’s quiet and nice.” He offered and was now anxiously waiting for your reaction. “Of course. Where is it?” you asked. “I can’t really explain it. I can pick ya up from yur house and will show ya. Okay?” Just after saying it he realized how this sounded. He was offering to take you to a place you didn’t know and you probably didn’t trust him. Nice job, ia dumbass. Now she’s gonna think yur some kind of creep. Realy smart. He braced himself for your rejection of his idea. But instead you were on board with it. Even seemed like you weren’t worried at all. The two of you agreed he will pick you up at 10 am this Saturday and later he will drop you off.

After both of you agreed on the details you said goodbye and went on your way, smiling to yourself that Daryl didn’t resent you about yesterday. And the help he offered felt like a blessing. If you were lucky tomorrow, there was a chance to maybe finally make a move towards him.

Daryl was still leaning on the wall you left him at and he couldn’t believe his luck, but there was an unsettling feeling inside him. Just yesterday he swore to keep his distance from you. What if you accepted his offer only for his help? It didn’t sound unbelievable, but you didn’t seem like the person to do so. The joy in your eyes seemed genuine and so did your face. But that didn’t stop him from being afraid he was going to be hurt again. Maybe he should tell you that something came up and he couldn’t, just stick to his previous plan, but he didn’t have it in himself to disappoint you. The only thing he could do was hope for the best. Perhaps he will find the courage to finally do something about his crush on you.

````````````````

The time until Saturday couldn’t come faster. That was the thought replaying in Daryl’s head while trying to fall asleep. It was Thursday around 12 pm and he was laying in his room, staring at the clock on his nightstand. The house was quiet save for the sound of his dad’s snoring. When Daryl came home he was greeted with the sight of his father passed out in his armchair, a bottle of beer on the ground next to it. This view was the best Daryl could hope for. The other instance was his dad coming home late into the night and taking whatever anger he felt out on Daryl. After he felt he inflicted enough abuse, his father would go into his bedroom and pass out, loudly starting to snore.

Daryl would almost always stay in his room, in a corner feeling like the weakest person on earth, the most he would do was craw in his bed, looking at the ceiling. On the outside he looked calm, just laying but inside his head he was screaming to himself to finally do something. To get up and move out like Merle, to run from his father. And just when he felt he had enough courage his dad would come with new insults to add on the long list. It almost felt like he was able to sniff out when Daryl felt even an ounce of self-esteem and bravery. Then he would come with blows and kicks, curses spilling from his mouth, making Daryl remember who he really is. And where he belonged.

A creaking sound made Daryl snap out of his thoughts. Wistfully he knew all to well this sound, the very one of his dad’s room’s door. It always creaked, almost like an alarm for him to hide. And that was what he did. Going to his window and carefully lifting it up, so he won’t make himself known to his wasted father. As soon as he could craw out of it he maneuvered his body and landed on the outside of the trailer. Just on time to hear the door to his room open and heavy steps come inside. He styled his movements and strained his ears to hear his father’s reaction. In his head he was praying Will wouldn’t glance out of the window, because if he did Daryl was screwed. Maybe there really’s a god. Daryl thought as the only thing heard from his room was a slurred curse and then the sound of his bedroom door being closed. His whole body relaxed and he slumped onto the side of the trailer. That was a close call and he knew how lucky he was. The down side was there was no way to go in soon so he needed a place to stay. The thought of going to your house flashed across his head but then he realized how it will look. Him appearing outside your front door at midnight at a school night. And naturally there would be too many questions.

He couldn’t do that so he settled on going for a walk around town. It was late so the streets were mostly empty save for a few cars and some groups of teenagers. He stopped at the convenience store and went inside. The only person onside was a middle aged woman, dressed in the store uniform. She only glanced at him and then returned to the magazine she was reading. One of the things Daryl liked about coming there at night was that no one cared who were you. The employees would just look up at you and then return to their tasks. Going to the fridges he grabbed a can of Cola and headed towards the register. Placing the can on the counter he reached for a pack of gum and also placed it on the counter. The woman scanned the items and snatched the bills Daryl had handed her. Placing the money in the register she didn’t say anything to him as he walked out.

Now outside he opened his coke and took a sip of it. He needed to wait a bit more before going back to hi place, just in case his dad still hasn’t fell asleep yet. Looking around and seeing the local park he thought he might as well go there. The park was well lit and a few benches were scattered around for people to sit on. While walking around his mind wandered off towards you. What were you doing now? Probably sleeping but did you also think about your upcoming date. Where you as impatient as him or you were just patiently waiting? Maybe he never even crossed your mind and he wouldn’t be surprised. After all you just saw it as a favor. But for him it was so much more. You were trusting him that he knew what he was doing, even putting hope onto his knowledge.

Without noticing he was already at the end of the park and enough time had passed for him to go home. With sorrowful steps he made his way to his trailer. He always dreaded coming there, but he didn’t have any choice. From the front door he could hear his father’s snoring so at least he didn’t need to worry about that. Going into his room he flopped onto his bed and hugged his pillow. But oh how much he wanted you to be the one there with him. To run your fingers through his hair and place a kiss on top his head. With this dream in mind he fell asleep. It wasn’t surprising when his dream was exactly the thing he wanted the most – you.

``````````````````

Saturday at 10 am the sound of the doorbell ringing made you run to open the door. You still didn’t have all the things you needed ready but didn’t want your mom opening the door and embarrassing you again, like the last time. Outside your front door stood Daryl with a little smile upon his face. “Hi, Daryl! Do you want to come in? I just need a minute.” You asked and opened the door more for him. “Yea, sure.” Answered Daryl and came inside. While walking beside you your hands accidentally brushed and goosebumps appeared along his skin. Every time your skin touched his he went all red in the face and this time it was no different. While ducking his head so you don’t see the crimson red painting his cheeks you made sure your mom is not around. Thank god she wasn’t, though it only seemed this way.

From the countertop in the kitchen your mom had a perfect view of the front door but you couldn’t see her. And she didn’t miss the way your eyes happened to brighten a bit at the sight of Daryl on your front step. And the way his face would color red almost immediately also wasn’t lost on her. Even though to here both of your feelings were obvious id didn’t seem like the two of you knew. But wasn’t it like this always?

Your house wasn’t that unfamiliar to Daryl now so he was able to relax a bit. The living room looked exactly like the last time he was here. Glancing at you he saw that you were already looking at him. Both of you blushed and looked away with little smiles on your faces. “So… I need only a few things from my room and I will be back. Would you mind waiting for a bit?” You questioned and waited for him to respond. “No, I will be good. I’ll wait here.” He said and looked around again. “Okay then. Make yourself comfortable.” You said and went upstairs, leaving Daryl alone. Going upstairs you grabbed a few books for science and the few snacks you prepared for today. Checking yourself in the mirror for the last time you went down happy with the way you looked.

In the living room you stooped dead in your tracks at the view before your eyes. Your mother was sat next to Daryl on the couch. She was smiling and it looked like she had just asked Daryl a question if you could guess from her expecting gaze. Daryl on the other hand looked like he wants to be anywhere but here. And your thoughts would be right, because Daryl regretted ever saying he wanted to come inside. He should have waited outside. Your mom came into the room just as you disappeared up the stairs, almost like she was waiting for you to leave. She greeted him and immediately started asking questions about him. He was so overwhelmed with that dose of attention that the most he could answer was a simple “yes” or “no”. Your mom didn’t seem to notice how uncomfortable he was so she carried on with her questions about how he was at school and other nonsense. Unfortunately, she didn’t skip the questions about his family but at that moment you came to his rescue.

“I’m ready. Are we going?” You urged looking at Daryl with raised eyebrows and a little smirk upon your mouth. “Yea, let’s go. Nice meetin’ you, ma’am.” Daryl said and got up. Your mom only offered a smile and said a goodbye as well. Finally, outside you questioned where you were going. Instead of answering you Daryl only glanced at you nervously and muttered a “You will see.”. Now that he was finally getting close to the woods he got more and more anxious. How would you react to him leading you into the woods? What if you found the little surprise he made for you ridiculous? But he didn’t let these thoughts win over the joy of being around you. The time you were walking there was mostly silence but it didn’t seem awkward or uncomfortable. It was the exact opposite, a comfortable one and he didn’t feel the need to say something.

After about a 10 minute walk you were at the edge of the forest. He looked at you, expecting to see you looking around and confused but instead you were looking at him curiously. There was not a single sign of worry or confuse. “There is a little creek about 5 minutes from here. Thought you would like it.” He spoke first and waited for your reaction. “Lead the way then.” You said and waited for him to continue walking. Daryl’s nerves calmed down after your calm response. To be honest he didn’t think someone would be that calm around him, let alone you. After all you didn’t really know anything about him. And after a bit of thinking Daryl realized that he didn’t really know anything about you either other than the basic stuff like family and friends. Today was an opportunity to get to know you and he should use it.

The forest both of you were in was beautiful, full of sounds and light. The birds chirping and the rustling of the leaves was like music to your ears. The last time you were in a forest was maybe 2 years ago when you and your family went on a camping trip to a nearby national park. Thinking of it reminded you of how nice it was. You never thought that you could miss the forest but here you were. And looking at Daryl you noticed how relax he looked, no tension visible in his muscles. That was maybe the only time you have ever seen him so at peace. He looked at you with the corner of his eye and you turned your gaze away, not realizing that you were staring but you couldn’t help it. You were seeing new side of Daryl unfold in front of your eyes.

Daryl could already hear the sound of the water running ahead of him. His body wasn’t as tense as it was at your house, the forest having its calming effect on him. Now his mind was worked up if the thing he went earlier to set up was going to be too much. He wanted to make something special for you and hopped you wouldn’t find it stupid. Walking on a bit of narrow path covered in dry leaves somewhere you heard a Woodpecker pecking. Looking around the trees trying to find it you didn’t saw a tree root poking through the forest floor. Tripping on it you were too stunned to reach out your arms to stop your fall. Preparing yourself for the pain bout to come you braced yourself and closed your eyes but no pain came. Opening your eyes, you saw Daryl holding you to his chest, his face having an almost terrified expression on it. Your faces were so close that you could feel his breath mixing with yours. Looking at his lips you wondered what would be the feeling of them pressed against your own. Looking back at Daryl’s eyes you saw a new emotion in them but you couldn’t understand what it was.

Daryl caught you out of pure instinct, not thinking how close your bodies would be. But when you opened your eyes and looked into his eyes with this look of gratefulness his heart started pounding like a jackhammer inside his ribcage. And when you looked at his lips he sneaked a glance at yours. How full the seemed to be and the urge to feel them against his own was almost irresistible. Almost. But what if you didn’t want this and pushed him away from you. Called him a creep and ran away. He couldn’t risk it so he settled with looking at his feet and letting you go, the absence of your body and its warmth against it painfully obvious to him.

“Ya ok?” he asked this time looking at your face, scanning it for any sign of pain. You only shook your head, still a little bit shaken up from being so close to him. “I’m good, don’t worry. Are we close?” Turning to the direction the two of you were walking in you stepped over the root and turned to Daryl. “Uhm…yea. Jus’ a bit more.” With that you started walking again, this time looking where you were going. After just a minute of walking you saw the light reflecting from the surface of the water. In front of you was a creek surrounded by tall trees, the branches of the trees making a colorful shade over it. And then you saw the rest. At the sight of the blanket and the food scattered on it you halted immediately. There were different kinds of food and 2 sodas atop it.

“Hope ya like it. I’ve never really did somethin’ like tha’.” His nervous words made you turn to him, seeing his cheeks painted bright red. He was shuffling from foot to foot and looking down. “Oh, Daryl, you did all this? For me?” One look into his eyes told him that you did in fact like it. “Of cours’ fer ya.” He said with a bashful smile and sat on the blanket, making a gesture with his hand for you to do the same. Plopping down next to him you continued looking around, enjoying the sight before your eyes. Daryl was doing the same thing, his gaze pinned on you. He was finally starting to believe that this was actually happening, you with him at the only place he knew how to relax. You probably weren’t feeling the same way as him but for now he would allow himself to daydream you do.

Turning back to him you pulled out a notebook and stared at him expectantly. He seemed like he forgot what the two of you were meeting up to do. Snapping out of his daydreams he pulled out his book and started to actually work. But every now and then you would take small breaks and would snack on the things he prepared and chat for everyday stuff. Daryl never thought talking with someone can be this easy, not awkward or pointless small talk. And you would ask so many questions, trying to learn the things that he liked. Asking what was his favorite ice cream - chocolate or about his favorite color – green. And he would always return the question absorbing the information like a sponge tossed into water. The knowledge wasn’t something really deep but it was the things that made you who you were.

By the late afternoon you finally understood Science. Turns out Daryl can be an amazing teacher, patiently explaining everything that you didn’t understand. And he now knew enough stuff about you that he felt like he has always known you. When the sun looked like was about to set you picked up your things and Daryl cleaned up, getting the blanked in one hand. Starting to walk back to your house the whole way you were talking and laughing. If someone saw you they would think that both of you were longtime friends, just going for a walk. Gradually in no time you here in front of your front door and you were turning to say goodbye to Daryl. But he was already looking at you, a seemingly sad expression onto his face. He didn’t want this to end, talking and learning new things about you.

“I had an amazing time with you. If you want to maybe, we should do it again.” The enthusiastic tone of your voice making him feel like someone lit a fire inside him, the warmth spreading to very crevice of his body. “I would love ta.” The smile on top his face was genuine and before he knew what was happening you were leaning in and placing a kiss on his cheek. His body was completely straightened up and the look on his face being like to someone just stricken up by thunder.

“Bye, Daryl. I will see you Monday.” Turning around and going inside your house you left Daryl on your porch wondering if he will ever get used to these.

Masterlist: @marvelcasey05 @zomb133g1rl @ryoujoking @starkeysslvt @appearancesaredeceiving4lice @that-german-girrl @tobemylover-x

#twd daryl dixon #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl fanfiction #twd #daryl dixon fanfiction

[soxcietyy]

Temptation

Chapter 7

Your dad is tired of you bringing home these unworthy men. None of them being fit to take care of you or to be given the family business since you are the only daughter. He decides to find you someone fit to be your husband and receive help from the father of the church. That’s when you meet Yuta, though just because he goes to church doesn’t mean he’s much of a saint

Mafia, murder, violence, mentions of religion, (will contain other things in the next chapters)

The rest of the week he spent as far away from you as he could. He would come home late, sleep in a spare room or sometimes he wouldn't come home at all. Ever since that day he couldn't help but maintain his distance. He was scared, he didn't want to frighten you like that again. Not only did that cause him fear but also the fact that he cared about that.

He was Yuta Okkotsu, one of Gojos most important business partners that worked under him. Everyone was supposed to be terrified of him. But just the single though oh you being scared of him gave him an itch.

He tried to convince himself multiple times that maybe it was because this was all new to him. The concept of marriage and now having to care for Someone else other than him. Yea that sounds about right. This will soon pass and he'll be back to his normal self.

He's been away from you for a good length of time that he kinda felt prepared to face you again. Putting his foot down and putting you in your place. A women shouldn't be walking over a men. Maybe his actions were justifiable last week. He told you to stay put and you did not listen which created consequences.

Yea that's it, you deserved what you got and he will not let it slide.

"Yu?" He hears a soft feminine voice speak. He snaps his head from the paper he held to the door way where you stood in a sun dress.

"Darling you know well you're not allowed in my offic..." as he spoke to you he noticed the bruises on your neck that he left last week. That delicate skin of your being harmed by his own hands. He couldnt bare to see the injury's he caused so he looked back down at his paper.

"Yes I know but I'm worried. We haven't been able to sit down and relax. You're always busy or coming home late. We haven't even slept in the same bed. Im worried about us." you say

About us? what a joke, with the way he's been treating you he was surprised you thought that way.

"I don't think what in doing should concern you. Go back to bed and get some rest." Yuta says as he scans the paper he's been rereading over and over again. To him it seemed like a never ending paper. Everytime he read it he would space out on it having to make him reread it over and over again.

“Can I least go out for some fresh air?” you ask him “of course.” He says as he begins writing his thoughts.

“Without someone following me.” You speak. The number of times they had stopped you his week from walking out was outrageous. Every time you confronted Yuta about it he would ignore you and keep on with his business. “you’re not allowed to go out without anyone accompanying you.”

————————

Your angry thoughts influenced your actions immediately. Storming out of his office you quickly made your way upstairs snatching up his wallet that rested on the nightstand. You couldn’t believe that he had just spoke to you that way. This wasn’t what you imaged being married to him was. You felt like an idiot for actually agreeing to something so dumb like this. Anyone would have seen something like this coming a mile away. You were just so stupid, so gullible to believe every word that fell out of his mouth. After putting your heels on you walk downstairs. You knew well that Yuta had guards stationed right out the doors. You were so sick of being stuck here with an arrogant man. All you did was try and be the best wife but clearly, he could care less about you and your efforts. Opening the door, you see a tall buff man standing with is back facing you. You let out a small huff as you quietly closed the door behind you. Taking a few small steps forward you see him turn around at the slightest sound of your heels hitting the floor. “Go back inside before I throw you like last time. “ That did happen didn’t it. “Yuta said he’ll meet me outside the gates. He seemed to have lost his wallet.” You say trying to get pass him.

He lets out a laugh as he blocks you from going further. “do you think I’m stupid little girl? He would never let you go even a few feet from him.” The guard laughs even harder as he shoves you back making you stumble a bit.

You give the man an innocent smile. “Clearly you don’t know him enough to know that he would let me do that. Let me through before I tell him that you put your hands on me.” You talk back.

“What would people say if Yuta’s wife was being man handled? Clearly you would be forced right away. Knowing him he would easily let you go home before killing someone you love.” You stare into his shocked eyes. He mumbled before letting you get pass him. If you knew it was this easy you would if been escaped this place.

Immediately you started walking to the open gates. Walking with the fear of his possible looking outside his window to see you walking of the property. Once you made it out the gates you turn around and shut them. The guard looked at you confused for a second before booking it towards you. That’s when you quickly lock it with the key Yuta always carried in his wallet. You gave him another innocent smile before you ran down the road. Luckily those gates where as tall as pine trees, that means he had no choice but to get another key from Yuta who should be at a meeting about now. Now i9f he had the guts to interrupt a meeting then that was on him. Running as fast as you could in heels, you cut through people’s property’s so you wouldn’t be found so easily. Eventually after so long of running you made it to the city of New York. Yuta did not live far from the city at all making everything supper close to you guys.

Stopping at a coffee shop you rest by the wall and catch your breath. You haven’t ever ran this much in your life before. The adrenalin in your body was still pumping as you held your chest.

“Oh, darling are you alright?”

Alarm bells ran in your head once you heard them say darling. When you look up your met with blue eyes but not the dark ones you know. They were infused with a light green color making them look really friendly. Moving from his eyes to his face you realize this was a total stranger. This man had blonde short hair, chiseled jaw, he wore such a nice navy-blue suit that complimented him. Your mouth seemed to have dropped, mesmerized by his beauty. “y-yes! I’m fine I just got done with my morning run.” You say

“A run? In heels?” he raises his brow.

“yes...”

“Your quite an interesting girl, how about I invite you to grab a drink with me?” he says holding his hand out. You looked at him not being able to believe him but take his hand either way. He grabbed it firmly and walked out with you in his arm.

“ I know this coffee shop with better drink up the street. I had gone to the one we had left to grab a quick drink to go. The I ran into you, and I just love having drinks with people.” He says as he walks with a fast pace. This man was really tall, to the point where it kind of hurt your neck to look up at him.

When you guys got to the place you couldn’t believe how beautify it looked. Planted where planted in so many spots and it smelled like roses from the pots that surrounded you. This was something you’ve never seen before. As you approached a table, he pulled your seat out and letting you sit before taking his own. A waiter soon came up to you guys and asked if you guys needed time to order.

“No need, I would like Americano and for the lovely lady hmm, what do you want tea or coffee?” he tilts his head making his golden locks fall to the side.

“I uh, I like tea.” You say

“ Hōjicha please! Oh and maybe set of your delicious biscuits.”

As the waiter left, he put his attention back towards you. “so do you usually take strangers on-“ “Coffee dates? No, no I am quite a busy man, I was actually free today and well I couldn’t just ignore you.” He smiles. “Oh well thank you for taking me out uhh.” You say ignoring the fact that he called this a date. “How rude of me! I haven’t introduced myself, haven’t I? The name is Angelo.” He says.

“Oh, I’m y/k Okkotsu.”

His eyes seemed to have lighten up once you told him your name.

“Magnificent.” “Do you work Angelo?”

you ask him curious to know his profession if he could afford to go to such a coffee shop.

“I own many restaurants and coffee shops around here, including the one were at. Its quite new actually.” He says as he looks around admiring his work.

“Really? Wow I really love what you did with the place. I is so stunning and it feels like I’m in the middle of a flower field.” You say surprised.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it darling.

“um currently nothing I’m just home all the time but I’m want to get into my husbands business. I want to feel useful you know? But how can I do that when I’m not even allowed to know anything about it.” You look down at the wooden table “oh sorry I started venting without realizing it.” You say embarrassed.

“No need to feel bad I enjoy giving advice to people.” He says as he receives the drink from the waiter that you didn’t even notice. He set your drink in front of you as he took a sip of his. Letting out a satisfied sigh come out as he tasted the drink.

“What does your husband work in” he asks as he licks his lips.

“Trading under a company.” You say as you also took a sip out of your drink. Your eyes brightened the second your tastebuds made contact with the liquid. This was really good, this man kept of surprising you by the second.

“What is this? It’s so good I’ve never had such a flavorful tea.” You bring the cup up to your lips once again.

“Ha, I knew it would be your taste. It’s a Japanese’s tea that has roasted green tea leaves. Its naturally sweet yet has a hint of a smokey flavor in it.” He lifts his hand up in the air to get a waiter’s attention.

The man quickly runs to him and ask him if everything is okay. Angelo reassures him everything is good and that he just wanted to know if he had a bag of the tea you were currently drinking.

“oh you don’t have to do that! I can always come on my own, I want to support the business.” You say.

“oh sweety but what if you can’t go out when you crave it? You already know how husband can be, ugh so bitter for no reason, Speaking of.” He brings his drink to his mouth. “Y- your husband how is he like?”

For a second you thought he was going to say your husband’s name. Then again, he shouldn’t even know him.

“well, he’s…nothing like I expected him to be like.” You say with a sense of sadness. You had no idea why you held such high expectations for him in the first place. You didn’t even know him for that long and here you thought he was going to be the best husband ever. “I just wish he was more caring, kind, and well just loving in general.”

You had no idea what had happened, when you first met him, he was the most kindest person ever now he was something else.

“Sorry to hear that,” Angelo crosses his legs as he stretches them out. “Something like that must not be easy to through, I trust your strong enough to pull through, right?” Angelo looks own at his watch and raises his brows. “it’s near noon, do you need a ride?”

Ride, but to where? You couldn’t possibly go back to Yuta’s. He was going furious when he finds out you escaped. If you ran back home, you feared your dad would call Yuta since apparently, they were buddy’s now. You could get a hotel room, but they would be able to track you right? At this point he must have already called everyone he knew to look for you. At your wedding the kinds of people that came up to him were unexpected, bank tellers, police, business people, doctors, and more. They all probably had all eyes and ears out for you. You couldn’t held but fiddle with your wedding ring to ease your thoughts.

“Or you could come to work for me, you can be my secretary for the day.” He offers with a genuine smile.

“really?! But I’m a women, wouldn’t people look down on you?” You say feeling a bit excited for the opportunity.

“You think I care about other opinion? Is that the way your husband thinks? Such a childish mindset. Common let’s go to my company building.” He says as he helps you get up.

AN: Guys I wrote this on my laptop on word during my finals. I typed 5 pages of fanfic and thought I out did myself and once I pasted it onto here I screamed. YOUR TELLING ME THIS IS HOW 5 PAGES LOOK LIKE.

#yuta okkotsu #yuta okkotsu x you #yuta okkotsu x reader #jjk second years #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x y/n #yuta okkotsu x y/n #jjk yuuta #yuta okkotsu smut #yuuta okkotsu #yuuta x you #yuuta x y/n #yuuta headcanons #yuuta smut #okkotsu yuuta x reader #okkotsu yuuta #yuta x y/n #yuta x reader #yuuta x reader

[katszumi]

part one but can be read as a standalone!

today’s the day— the six year reunion for all the graduated u.a students. the day bakugou was internally dreading.

he didn’t want to attend, but because of shitty hair, he basically had no other choice. he thought it was stupid, annoying even considering the fact he still works with some of his old classmates.

plus, bakugou was never the type to attend gatherings. he hated the loud noise, busy moving bodies, and the useless small talk people had just to be respectful. none of it was apart of bakugou’s persona, not even his pr managers could change that.

but, he also knows the slight possibility of you being there. he knows someone extended the invite to you, back then every single classmate loved you.

since the night he rudely brushed you off, you haven’t been in contact with him once. his messages still delivered green, and you unable to show on any of his social media. for him, you only existed as a fragment of his memory other than the times you appear on television or the news.

you seemed to be thriving in america. the first year you went, he remembers seeing an article online on how you quickly climbed the ranks in america, the americans instantly adoring everything about you. despite your hero name and quirk, fans began to relate you to a siren, claiming how you were too captivating and powerful to be true. soon, citizens also began to recognize you as the star-spangled siren.

no doubt, bakugou thought it was hilarious. it was something so incredibly stupid. but it was also a reminder that you accomplished your dream. you were a great hero. all of your fears from six years ago were disregarded, and you proved to yourself that you built yourself up by yourself with no support system.

he always knew you were the strongest within the class. maybe that’s why he always felt so weak in front of you. he didn’t stand a chance against you, especially when he finds your figure standing by the bar.

you were messing with your drink, engaging in conversation with mina and ochako. those were the girls always attached at your hip back then.

at first he questions himself whether to squeeze himself in the conversation, or to leave you be. he figured that if you wanted to talk to him then you would’ve reached out years ago.

but before he could act on anything, your gaze meets his. it feels like time on every clock comes to a halt.

he takes in your new differences from the last time he saw you. you grew an inch or two taller, which he found hilarious since you used to pray to be taller. you’re a little more tan; bakugou remembering somewhere in a textbook that the states received more hours of sunlight than japan. you’ve matured more in your face; you were always the girl he found cute. but now, your gazing eyes were more fierce, your pouting lips that he often found himself sneaking glances at were parted, and your newly developed body; your arms were more toned, your body a tad more curvaceous.

enamored wasn’t even the right word to describe bakugou. an understatement even.

it’s all too strange how he felt a pulsation in his chest, his heart hammering from the small moment of eye-contact. he believed that he got over you, coming to terms that there’d never be a chance that you’d talk to him with dancing eyes and a grin on your face like before. but, oh boy, was he wrong.

guilt immersed him. he was angry with himself for treating you like you didn’t matter. everything you said that day, you were right. he didn’t tell you anything related to his emotions, he was avoiding you for weeks, and he was a dick for simply letting you go. he knew all of this, even years ago he realized. bakugou wasn’t the type to go back on his word nor apologize.

but in order for you to talk to him with even a fake smile on your face, he would have to do just that. though, it was you— he wouldn’t mind getting down on both knees, begging for you to forgive him if he had to.

pathetic, bakugou would say, who in their right mind would do something like that? but he would. because six years later, bakugou was still pathetically in love with you.

mina noticed your shift in eye, so she peered over her shoulder, searching the area for what grabbed your attention. it was quick the way she noticed it was him that snatched your breath. her eyes widened for a small moment before turning her head once again.

mina was probably talking shit about him, that was no surprise. even though he and mina got together well, you and mina were attached at the hip; she valued you more than him. he easily read mina’s body language, you must’ve told mina the situation long ago from the way she placed her palm on your arm and rubbed it gently.

unfortunately, he didn’t care if you or mina would be frustrated with his audacity. if anything, everything he was going to do from this point on was because he cared so much about you. so fuckin’ much he’d drain the ocean dry to prove his love to you.

bakugou had only fallen in love twice. once with you and once with a mirror. one, a destructive on-going path without a clear result. one, someone so far-fetched yet still warm and beautiful. someone that eventually in time becomes part of the oxygen he needs to breathe.

the mirror was the first-choice. becoming the number one hero was his only objective, no matter the opportunity cost, he was going to do anything to reach his goal. halfway through, he realized he chose wrong.

there was no point in reaching the goal without you. you were his hands and feet, so why did he expect himself to be okay with the situation he caused?

bakugou hated defeat, he already knows that. but he’d be damned if he allowed you to slip through his fingers once more.

and just like that, his legs are moving towards you and mina. his mind consisted of nothing; he had no words ready for you, no apology prepared. he just sees you and, like always, he needs to be in your vicinity.

as he marches towards you, he realizes that it’s always been like this, him chasing you to his hearts desire. at the beginning, it was a light jog nothing that would cause him to break a sweat. soon it turned into a full-blown sprint, the gap between you and him seeming to increase every day.

before he could muster anything to say, he makes it to you. he keeps his distance from you so you don’t run away, but enough that he can see the pores on your face.

you ogle at him, your face twisted a bit. mostly likely from the surprise of him trudging towards you as if nothing happened. mina rolled her eyes at him as she folded her arms.

“bakugou, don’t be one of those.” mina started.

“one of what?!”

she scoffed. “one of those obsessive guys when they realized they’ve lost a gem because they were stupid as fuck.” mina him a ‘that’s you’ look. “don’t come crawling back now.”

bakugou opened his mouth to object mina, prepared to go off on her. just a week ago, she was chatting it up with him, kirishima, and denki, no animosity found in any of her statements. but since you were here, she supposed she had to play the part as the protective best-friend.

but before he could say anything, you beat him to it.

“it’s fine, mina.”

your voice was still the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. so gentle and euphonious. he wanted to thank the heavens on the earth for allowing him this opportunity again even when he’s a shitty guy. he didn’t deserve you, he knew that, but he couldn’t bypass the overwhelming feeling of yearning you.

he shifted in his position, clearly shocked that you didn’t seem to hate the fact he was standing within your vicinity.

mina also shocked, raised a brow at your best-friend. “you sure babes?” you nodded in response. the pink colored woman leaned into her ear, whispering god-knows what, before walking away with ochako to leave you and him alone.

you faced bakugou fully now, your eyes taking in the subtle distinctions he’s made over the years. bakugou always was one of the strongest in the class, but even now, he developed into a rigorous man. you can tell he’s shaved recently, the small hairs on his chin slowly starting to form. his eyes are more relaxed, seeming more generous.

alike him, you too kept post on bakugou in japan. you’d frequently find yourself searching him on the internet to wonder how he’s doing. just like he told you and everyone else at u.a, he was now the number one hero of japan. he proved to all his doubters that he could do it.

you were proud of him, internally rooting him on from 6,303 miles away. however, externally, you masked a look of resentment for him.

he broke your heart when he pushed you away. you didn’t understand why it was so difficult for him to come clean about things, especially when it came to you.

you had enough of it.

or at least that’s what you kept telling yourself, hoping for your heart to believe it as your mind did.

“hi,” you said. he could tell you were nervois from the way your hand slightly trembled. “long time no see.”

bakugou anxiously chuckled, “yeah.” he instinctively ran his fingers through his hair as he swallowed nothing. “look, i’m not even going to waste any time with this. y/n, i am so fuckin’ sorry.” his tone softened, coming from the deepest part of him. you can’t recall a time where his voice ever sounded so tender like this.

“kat—” you started, but he didn’t let you finish.

“no, i mean it. i am sorry for being a coward. i was a fool for treating you like you didn’t matter to me when that wasn’t the case, it was never the case. you were too good for me and that scared me. i’m rough on the outside, i couldn’t imagine savoring someone so mellow. i’m a pathetic asshole, a bitch, a cunt.”

you reached forward to place your hand on his wrist. “don’t say such things about yourself, katsuki. you are not any of those things.”

“don’t be good with me. i don’t deserve to be treated this way. give me the punishment i deserve for causing you anguish.” he begged. unknowingly, his hands slipped into yours. you could feel his sweat accumulate, his shaky hands.

all of this just for you to forgive him. how could you ever despise him when he’s an emotional wreck in the palm of your hands?

“it’s okay, katsuki. i’ve come to forget about it years ago. you’re one of the best things to happen to me during my adolescence. we were young and we both said things we didn’t mean back then.” bakugou looks at you with a pout. “i forgive you.”

you pull bakugou into a hug, wrapping your arms around him. you almost had forgotten how much bigger his figure was compared to yours until he bear-hugs you.

“how long are you staying until you leave for america?” he asks.

“i was going to wait till the end of the night to share this, but i was never one to hold secrets from you.” you released bakugou from the hug, a smile tugging your lips. “i’m coming back to japan.”

“what? but america… why?” he scrambled for words.

you lightly shrugged, “not my kind of place. i also really missed my home.”

“fuckin’ hell,” his words trailed off. bakugou couldn’t imagine the happiness that was coming from him right now. in his mind, he thanked kirishima for dragging him here. “i’m so relieved.”

you laughed, one that bakugou could tell wasn’t fake. he couldn’t help but to smile. he was finally talking to you, the woman he loved, after six long years. he was unsure if he could survive another minute of you ignoring him.

“so, back then, did you?”

“did i what?”

“back then, did you like me? did i really mean something to you?”

bakugou tried to remember if you were ever this dense? what a stupid fuckin’ question, bakugou thinks.

“you were the first person ever to tell me to have desires and to not hold back.” he explains. “did i like you? y/n, i loved you. every part of you, i loved. hell, i still do.” it seemed easier for him to confess, maybe it was from the adrenaline he was feeling in this moment.

but he didn’t care, if anything he was glad. you needed to hear it just as much he needed to admit it to himself.

“then, let’s start over, katsuki. let’s ditch this place, i know you’re not a big fan of parties anyway.”

bakugou knows all too well, he loves it how you remember the smallest parts of him. he loves your consideration and emotional warmth that you’re always quick to offer. even though, the gates were open for you to leave, you stayed.

he knew that his love for you would last a lifetime and would always welcome you with sweet grace and a humble gratitude.

all he can do is nod in response, hoping to suppress his racing heartbeat.

bakugou takes your hand to lead you to the exit of the party. “my job here is done anyway.”

@b134ch-m4h-ey3z @bsallergy

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou smut #bakugou x reader #bnha #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha bakugo x reader #bnha bakugou #bnha x reader #katsuki bakugo mha #katsuki bakugo x reader #my hero academia bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bakugo katuski #mha bakugou #bakugou fluff #bakugou x reader angst #bakugou x you #katsuki bakugo my hero academia #katsuki bakugo fluff #katsuki bakugo imagine #katsuki x you #katsuki smut #katsukibakugou #katsuki x y/n #katsuki bakugō #katsuki bakugo fanfiction #bakugou angst #bakugou x y/n #ao3 bakugou #mha bakugo katsuki

[nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx]

Helpless part 40, It is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives us

"Neeks, you awake?"

"What time is it?" The Hades child mumbled, pushing his hair out of his face.

"11:24."

"How the fuck am I still tired?"

"Because you still need to catch up on sleep and you're off drugs medical and others after a while so you're still adjusting."

"I'll be honest I didn't process half of that." Will rolled his eyes teasingly, walking over to mess up his hair more than it already was. Will started to look through some files he'd brought in with himself as Nico started to get ready,

"Can I braid your hair?"

"You know how to braid?"

"Not very well, but Kayla made me learn a few years ago before she had to let Aussi cut her hair on a dare."

"I can imagine how well that went, but sure." Will sat next to him, brushing out and parting his hair before starting to do a french braid. "Do you have the second volume of Heartstopper?" Will laughed, quickly kissing Nico on the cheek.

"I can't believe I thought you were straight but yes, I have all the books."

"I can't believe I thought you were straight."

"Think you were the only one Neeks."

"Oh shut up Solace."

"Don't think I will di Angelo."

"Gods save me."

"What do you want to eat?"

"Nothing." He answered almost instantly,

"Not an option."

"I'm not hungry." He promptly ignored him and pulled out three ceral bars from his pocket,

"Pick one."

"Leave me alone."

"Do you feel sick?"

"I- I- just... can't, drop it William."

"I'll leave them here, just eat when you can, alright?" He said, half hugging him.

"Fine."

"Nico, have you considered talking to someone? Maybe keeping a journal as well?"

"Only if you'll also get help." He couldn't think of something he wanted to do less but Will needed help, desperately.

"It's not your job to worry about me."

"Will, I'm your boyfriend, it really is."

"Are you comfortable with the idea of talking to someone?" He was fine, he knew he was worthless what's the point of lying to himself.

"N-no." Fuck, this wasn't going the way he hoped.

"Nico, you don't need to do anything that you aren't comfortable with, that won't help. Also... I'm sorry about last night.. I- it's- yeah I'm just sorry."

"Will, no one's perfect, you need help, please, just try to."

"Neeks, I'm fine, really. I was just shocked last night and yeah, there have been a lot of people in the infirmary because of the war normally it's just less hectic." Lying through his teeth, he hated himself for it but that's fine, just another thing to add to the endless list. He wasn't Nico's responsibility, he doesn't need anything else on his mind.

"Just, take a break every now and then, I swear you're always working."

"Actually Kayla's ban me from working for the rest of the week soooooo."

"Good, you need it. Wait does that mean I don't get to see you for a week?"

"Nope, you can't get rid of me that easily. Apparently I'm too much of a simp for that, but I have a feeling she's timing it to make sure I don't spend the whole day here."

"I can see that happening, but you need a break so she is completely right."

"I really hate you sometimes di Anglo."

"I know." He whispers, blowing the son of Apollo a kiss.

"Solace, times up!"

"Better go Sunshine, also... I'll try journaling, I don't know if it'll help but I'll try."

"I'm proud of you Neeks," He ruffled his hair before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, he kissed him back, wrapping his hands around his neck."I'll see you soon."

***

#percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson fandom #nico di angelo #pjo #fanfic #will solace #solangelo #annabeth chase #fanfiction #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson fan fiction #percy jackson fic #percy jackson fanfiction #percyjackson #fan fic writing #fan fic #fan fiction #solangelo fic #my fic #fic writing #solangelo fanfic #solangelo fanfiction #gay #leo valdez #reyna avila ramirez arellano #jason grace #piper mclean #frank zhang #hazel levesque

[dr-trafalgar-law]

Trafalgar Law X CisFem Reader

1

The rich scent of coffee percolated through the small apartment kitchen. Preferring to keep the room dark only the tiny light above the stove was left on. The sun had yet to rise and judging by the pattering against the window above the sink it wouldn't matter anyway.

Bringing the hardly sweetened liquid to his lips Law did his best to keep anxious thoughts away. Usually these consisted of work related topics, things he needed to get done when he arrived at the hospital or patients that took priority. This particular morning you were prominent.

He thought back to a night in November. At the time you had been matched for a month and had very recently moved in together. He had been opposed to all of this arranged marriage nonsense from childhood. Forcing people to be together for procreation didn't seem healthy mentally. But the alternative was prison, so most people just went with it.

Then he met you and discovered how similarly you operated so he decided to learn more. You had been pretty forthcoming with your reluctance, almost offensively so. You also felt the need to explain that you had a previous relationship that ended abruptly because of the law and obviously weren't dealing with it in a healthy way.

That week you stayed late at the shop every night working on different orders. When he did see you, you were practically vibrating with nervous energy. So, the nightly ritual of visiting the shop started, at least until that Friday. When he had announced he was coming to the shop you told him you'd meet him at home, which you did arriving at the same time. Even in the chilly humid air he thought he caught the scent of cologne as you passed, chalking it up to the hoodie you must have borrowed from a coworker, as he had never seen it before. After showering you shared the meal he'd brought from the hospital. You didn't say much but somehow seemed at ease especially considering the project you had been working on. Perhaps finishing the cakes provided some sort of closure? No, Law couldn't be that naive. Something definitely happened, something you didn't want to share. However, at the time he wasn't compelled to press you for information. He wasn't sure that even now after nearly four months you'd come clean. It wasn't like you had grown any closer as a couple, and he didn't know if you ever would.

His ears perked hearing your bedroom door softly open and shut behind you. Finally, the smell of coffee had made it to your room inviting you into the kitchen. You rounded the corner in an old purple shirt with the collar cut out, so it hung off your left shoulder, a pair of black leggings and mismatched knee-high socks.

His silver eyes roamed over the dip of your exposed shoulder before swaying up to your yawning face. It amused him that from day one you had no problem looking like a straight up mess in front of him. Perhaps it was because you weren't interested or maybe you just weren't like other girls. No woman he'd ever slept with dared to be seen without makeup.

You wore makeup as well, but it was always tastefully done. Law had surprised himself finding that he preferred you without, he liked the very light olive toned semicircles under your eyes and the natural hue of your lips so much so that on occasion you caught him staring. Being unaware of this preference and very aware of his constant stern expression, you had not thought about the attention being out of attraction.

"Morning." You yawned again running your fingers through your tangled hair.

"F/N-ya." Your fiancé nodded bringing his cup back to his lips.

"Top you off?" you asked pulling your mug from the cupboard not bothering to turn on the lights.

"Big order this week?" Law asked leaning back to hand you his cup.

"No, just couldn't sleep. There isn't much going on today I might just stay here and get some things done." Now that you'd said more he noticed your voice was a bit hoarse.

He hummed turning to let his eyes trail over you, even in the dim yellow light of the stove your skin seemed pale and clammy. Carefully he watched you fix his cup of coffee with shaky hands and move on to your own. The shadows under your eyes had deepened slightly, it was probably nothing, but no one would die if he asked.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes doctor," you smirked handing his cup over, "just a restless night is all."

"Then It's best if you stay home." He affirmed sipping the strong brew.

Somehow it was always better when you made it, though you did it the exact same way he had, yours was something to savor.

"Is it good?" You asked in amusement.

"It's ok. Why?" was his curt reply.

"You hummed," you chuckled, "That means you like it."

Had he? When were you so observant?

"I did no such thing." He glanced away from your smug expression.

"Will you be home for dinner? I was thinking about cooking." The light from your phone caught his attention drawing his gaze back to your face.

"I can probably arrange that." He tried to sound nonchalant, but you caught the intrigue in his tone.

"Anything you'd like? It's been a while since I made something savory, but I can still throw down."

He raised a brow at your enthusiasm, "Whatever you'd like is fine."

"Sandwiches then?" You teased.

He rolled his eyes, "If you can really throw down, how about onigiri, Ms. Chef."

"That will require some research and a trip to the store, but I accept your challenge." You were already searching for recipes on your phone.

After sitting in silence for a few moments and finishing his second cup of coffee Law checked the time and rose from the table to place his mug in the empty sink.

"Seven o'clock." You murmured looking up to meet his stormy gaze.

"I'll do my best. Have a good day F/N-ya." He exited the kitchen, a few seconds later followed by the sound of the door locking from the outside.

After your short trip to the store, you returned home to stock the fridge and pantry. It was shameful how much time you avoided spending there. Only coffee, sugar and creamer sat in the kitchen, and there were still boxes stacked in a corner of the living room waiting to be unpacked. You intended to remedy that.

Moving into the common space you began opening boxes. They'd been there so long you didn't know if they belonged to you or Law. The first was heavy and filled with medical magazines and notebooks. Box two was full of novels, most of them adventure, and the smallest was yours full of framed pictures and photo albums.

You organized the magazines and novels on the empty bookshelf that lined the back wall, leaving Law's notebooks for him to sort. At the bottom of that box you found a small framed picture turned over. Carefully you plucked it from the box curiosity piquing as you flipped the silver frame over. Law hadn't had any pictures of family or friends that you knew of. Making a mental note to ask about that your gaze fell over an old photo of your fiancé. He couldn't have been more than ten, wearing a school uniform with a little yellow backpack hooked over his shoulders. Next to him crouched a tall blond man with shaggy bangs swept across his face and a cigarette pressed between his lips. You were sure he'd always had that attitude and judging from the look on his adolescent face you were correct. The man in the photo must have been his adopted father, whom he didn't talk much about.

You filled your day with little projects and finally got around to making dinner. It wasn't difficult, but it was time-consuming. You felt good about preparing something he had picked specifically. It was your job to make people happy through their appetites, but this for the moment muted the crippling guilt that had been plaguing you.

Seven turned to eight turned to nine o'clock. You covered dinner in plastic and placed it in the fridge before moving back to the living room to binge watch some shows you had missed. It was disappointing that Law hadn't arrived or returned your texts but you supposed that came with being a doctor.

                                                                                          ____________

Law walked in quietly shutting the door behind him, first noticing the pictures lining the hallway. He stopped at the photo of his eleven-year-old self with Corazon on the first day of sixth grade. You must've had a productive day. Feeling incredibly guilty he continued into the apartment greeted by the soft light of the tv, he hadn't even noticed you on the sofa buried in a mess of blankets until you gasped.

"Sor-" Law was cut off as more gasps left the now writhing blanket pile.

Removing his coat, he crouched down pulling the throws away quickly. Your body had curled up into itself as you tried desperately to catch your breath. In the natural motion to ball up you'd smashed yourself into the back of the sofa. His slim tattooed fingers wrapped firmly around your wrists as you clawed at your chest and throat.

"D-don't..." you rasped.

"F/N-ya," he started softly pulling you into him as he sat, "try to calm down."

"Trying." You shuddered grasping his hands trying to fend off your instinct to fight back.

Now your clammy skin and shaky hands that morning made sense to him.

He hummed cradling you while you cried and hiccupped still hooked into a fetal position. Being wrapped in his warmth and hearing his low soft voice helped you focus on your breathing. The dark abyss that had been enveloping you began to fade.

"I'm... I'm sorry." You stammered. 

#trafalgar d law x reader #closure #x reader #one piece #trafalgar law #lyndsyh24 #heart pirates #marco the phoenix #18+ mdni #mdni #slow burn

[nohoperadio]

Here's a little breakdown of my personal relationship/non-relationship with various types of aesthetic self-modification (?, I feel like there might be a word or at least a more elegant phrase to denote this category). The point is not to offer my "take" on each thing but to express the different feelings/desires/inhibitions my psyche manifests around them. Some of these will approach awkwardly personal territory, fair warning! You may notice that basically none of them are especially positive; I'm going to leave off from analyzing that pattern for this post.

Tattoos -- I think tattoos as a concept are extremely cool, frequently they're cool in practice also and I like seeing other people's, but I don't think I've ever had even the smallest urge to get one for myself. I'm not totally sure why. The lack of an obvious thing to get is one factor, I feel like "band tattoo" would be the most likely thing for me to have but I don't like the idea of directly lifting a band logo or album art and I really don't like the idea of a lyric tattoo (I offer no justification for these prejudices), so I'd have to get clever with it if I'm doing that and I'm not very clever. More broadly, I predict that my enthusiasm for any artwork I put on my body would fade through overexposure in a matter of weeks if not days--other people describe "barely knowing it's there" after a short time--which on top of making the value of the project seem dubious, I feel like having a permanent image on my skin that I don't actively love would be something I'd feel bad about rather than neutral. Like "man, that thing's on my arm and I don't care about it at all, that sucks" rather than just not noticing it. Maybe I'm wrong about that.

(Tattoos are the one that got me thinking about this whole subject I think, it feels like they're reaching a ubiquity in the culture where it's almost like you're expected to have a reason not to have one rather than a reason to? Maybe that's just a people-I-know thing, anyway it got me thinking about why I don't want one.)

Piercings -- An interesting thing about me and piercings is that it's virtually impossible for me to notice when somebody has them unless I'm like, actively consciously scrutinizing their face (or whatever it is). When I was about ten months into my current job I asked my co-worker who I worked closely with almost every day "hey when did you get that septum ring" and she was like "well way before I met you". That is simply how it is with me and piercings and I make no apology.

If my inability to perceive piercings (perceirvings...) makes me indifferent to the idea of getting one, what makes me actively hostile is the total certainty that I would fiddle with it constantly if I did. I know these hands and their ways and there would simply be no dissuading them, it would be so bad you guys, oh my god. This is probably the hardest no on the list I think, although I haven't finished the post yet so idk maybe I'll think of a worse one.

Makeup -- There's undeniably a lot that's very beautiful in the universe of makeup and there's also the weird dark side, I have dabbled a little in this area and in my heart I feel more positively than not about it, but it's just never going to be a sustainable part of my life because (not unrelated to previous para) I am a perennial and unrepentant face-toucher. I will be itching and rubbing my face-skin and also inflicting other hard-to-characterize punishments upon it (is this "stimming"?) until the day I die and anything that wants to be on my face has just gotta deal. It would probably be better if this was not the case but I don't make the rules, sorry.

Haircuts -- When I was a child I haaaaaated getting my hair cut, like the physical sensation of it? Was so horrible and would usually make me cry and always ruin my day (is this "sensory overload"?), I didn't understand why I was being made to go through this ordeal and basically as soon as I reached an age when I realized my mom couldn't literally force me to do it if I just stubbornly refused hard enough--that age was 13 I think--I stopped. I haven't had a professional haircut since that time although I'm sure I could cope with the sensory aspect at this point, it's just not a habit I ever picked up again (I've had a couple of non-professional ones from my ex who just kind of wanted to try it, in a not particularly ambitious or dramatic fashion). Sometimes I feel like I should, but idk. My hair as it stands is not optimized for making me look hot but I don't think it looks especially horrible either, it's just kind of whatever I think.

Complicating factor here: I've had trichotillomania since I was 15/16, and it's hard to imagine it going away at this point but it's a lot more under control than it used to be, to the point where you can't really tell just from my appearance that something's up now. I say "under control", I have very little conscious control over it and usually no conscious awareness that I'm doing it, but over the years the compulsion seems to have unconsciously settled into a routine where it's just kind of... sculpting my hair into a more-or-less normal silhouette? Like I sort of have a fringe and stuff despite no haircuts. Oh I guess this doesn't make sense unless I clarify that I mostly break rather than pluck the hair nowadays, that's a big part of the gradual unconscious shift that's occurred.

A fun thing about trichotillomania is that it often makes people really uncomfortable when you talk about having it, which sucks for me because it makes me feel lonely, but I guess it sucks for the person feeling uncomfortable too in a smaller way. If you're one of the people who feel uncomfortable around this topic, sorry! Quite genuinely.

Gender transition in general -- I feel like I'm just, just on the boring side of cis-by-default. I think about transitioning shockingly often for someone who's never gonna do it, like it's not searing a hole in my heart or anything like it is for a lot of people but it occupies that "it would be cool to learn an instrument" kind of niche in my thoughts, if that makes sense? (Probably a bit stronger than that analogy makes it sound, it's on my mind frequently but not with a massive sense of urgency attached I guess is what I'm getting at.) I can see myself taking the plunge if the medical technology was like 10% better, or the social technology was like 20% better, or with some medium-sized changes in how my personality was configured, but this life being this life there's no way in heck the juice would be worth the squeeze. If I had one fifth of the executive function required to do all of that lying to doctors and learning how to clothes shop and having awkward conversations with people in my life and all the rest of it, well I can list like ten things I'd rather spend it on first. And I don't!

Glasses -- Love wearing glasses, 10/10 no notes. I knew since I was like 11 that my face should have a pair of glasses on it and I was very smug when the optician agreed (I did not cheat on the eye test in any way for what it's worth). The only times I'm not wearing glasses are sleeping and showering. I don't even carry a case because there's no point because I simply don't ever take them off. This is probably overkill, I think as a kid I was instructed to only put them on when I need to see something in the distance, ignoring that and just wearing them permanently has probably led to my vision weakening to the point where they're now pretty much mandatory in every situation, but I don't give a shit about that because just let me wear my goddamned glasses okay, fuck off. It's actually crazy how much I like wearing glasses, this is the only true thumbs up on the list.

I remembering trying to explain how I like my glasses to a then-close friend of mine many years ago when the subject of laser eye surgery came up in conversation, he said I should get the surgery and then just wear glasses with non-prescription lenses. When I tried to explain why that wouldn't be the same at all he was adamant that I was just being stubborn. That guy was a wonderful person in many ways and I loved him very deeply, but man what a dumbass thing to say.

Facial hair -- There are so many great beards and moustaches in this world, there are few more cheering sights than someone bearing some swish whiskers who's pleased about it, but personally I don't wish to be involved in that business at all.

I never learned how to ride a bike -- Obviously this one doesn't belong on the list, it doesn't fit with any of the other categories, and yet I feel compelled to include it here. And why should I resist that which compels me? This is my post. Yeah, I'm the oldest of four siblings, we were all given bikes at the appropriate kid-on-bike age, the others picked it up but not me. I liked it when I had stabilizers on my bike, then they took them off and I started falling off the bike, and after a very short amount of time I gave up. Like I didn't get mad injuries or anything, it just felt like I wasn't improving at it quickly enough and I didn't feel like keeping it up so I didn't. Early indication of my bad personality.

Fashion in general -- Clothes shopping has always been extremely aversive to me for whatever reason, it's gotten a little better in recent years, I have been able to exist inside clothes shops for long enough to purchase a small thing or two, but eh. Most of my tops are band t-shirts I bought at gigs, most of my bottoms are exactly identical pairs of jeans, there's just not much going on you know? But unlike with most of the items on this list I would really like to be doing this properly. I would like to wear cuter things with prettier colours and designs. This one's an actual goal. But so far I haven't really made progress. The aforementioned shopping sucks thing, plus a fear of being so aesthetically clueless that I just make myself look like a big idiot if I try anything risky, plus the fact that doing things that are not my established routine is tricky in general--these are barriers for me. I guess another barrier is that the things that would be most interesting to try out and therefore most potentially motivating fall into the wrong-gender-clothes category and therefore bring into play some of the barriers from that other category a few ones up. I did actually somehow get myself to dabble in that area some years ago to a modest but positive degree of satisfaction. It'll probably happen again. The patterns and causes that determine whether I can or cannot find motivation to engage in a thing--they are mysterious indeed.

Like horn implants or whatever other crazy miscellany -- I don't want anything in this category and don't have any non-trivial thoughts about it either. Including this section for completeness only.

---

Well, there you have it, that's the post. Now you know a bit more about some of my little weirdsies. If you actually made it through the whole thing, a) how interesting and b) why not tell me a little weirdsy of yours in return, whether it pertains to the above list or not? Why not get all antiphonal on my post, that way I'd get to know a thing about you as well, it might be a whole fun kind of deal. You don't have to though, I didn't make this post to try to snare people into letting themselves be known, I just kind of made it to be a post mostly. I make all sorts of kinds of posts you know? And so I thought I'd try one that's like this.

#selfposting #uninteresting #more uninteresting than average #and a bit too long #and yet putting it in a readmore didn't feel right for some reason; sorry all! #have you ever tried listicle oversharing? it's weirdly freeing

[princesscallyie]

Hey everyone!!!! I got a new job!!!

It’s in my field, good amount of $$, and work from home!!

#I’ve been interviewing for like a month now but didn’t want to jinx myself by telling everyone lol #so happy they liked me I hope I do a good job #uhhhhh I gotta finish up the last two commissions I’ll get to them soon #idk what to do about the kiosk cause I want to have it as a back up cause I have trust issues #maybe work one day every other week or something #I’ll figure it out but in the meantime celebrations!!! #callyie chat

[jutsuuu]

girl help I’m experiencing

#weird addendum but pls don’t reblog my vent posts??? why would you even want to???? #everything has been So Much lately and I wasn’t gonna vent but then I remembered this is my blog and I can do what I want #one of my best friends left the country last week and he’ll be gone for like two years and I’m so sad without him around #I mean he’s been messaging me every day since he left but it’s still hard not having him here yknow? #and I’m moving into his place but it requires a lot of work before I can so I’m always exhausted #and my joints have all but given out on me completely so I’m always covered in KT tape and braces #which doesn’t gel very well with moving furniture and heavy boxes #and I have no money so I need to be job searching but I can’t do that until I move. BUT I NEED MONEY TO MOVE #on top of that my grandpa died and there’s so much family drama involving that it’s unreal #and weirdly the thing I’ve recently felt bad about is I’ve been neglecting my self imposed Fandom Duties #maybe not fandom specifically but like. creative duties #I want to write fic. I want to draw. I want to read and comment on other people’s stuff #I also really want to do more of my non fandom writing because I want to get something published this year. but i got no good idea aaack #or early next year #and I’ve just had like. no time at all to do any of it and the time I have had I’ve been too drained to do it #ughghghghghghggh #I think today I will drink and try to write something. as a treat. #after I go on a reblog spree to bury this because emotions are very embarrassing #anyway how are you?

[dreamerlynx]

gripping stubborn hope in both hands I’m going to do better I’m going to get through this

#okay so maybe my brief better period after that assignment trouble and stuff was. just bc I wasn’t working on it #i got a ton of Other assignments and group projects with something due every day this week dumped on me :)) and maybe had a long crying fit #in the middle of the day and also kinda um. in public (no one noticed it was a busy place) which is. EXTREMELY new and concerning #but after that I kinda realized for real. I need to do things differently I need to take care of myself better bc I can’t keep on like this #I can’t keep dragging myself to classes and nothing else and lurching from due date to due date #so step one I went to bed earlier last night by a little bit and then got myself to get breakfast #step 2 is making an organized list of assignments coming up and scheduling times to work on everything that I Will abide by

[katya-goncharov]

can't wait till i quit my job can't wait till i quit my job can't wait till i quit my job can't wait till i quit my job -

#ugh i'm just so annoyed that they keep putting me on overtime shifts #i'm only supposed to do 17 hours a week and that's all i signed up for! but literally like 90% of the weeks i'm scheduled in for or have #worked i've been put on extra shifts. and it's never just like a few hours extra. it's always an extra 6 hour shift at stupid early in the #morning and extended hours on all my other days and whenever i try to very timidly suggest that i'd rather not do too much the managers are #just like oh but you said you were available at those times! and like yes i did but i thought i'd maybe get one overtime shift a month! not #literally every fucking week. and just because i'm technically available on some days of the week doesn't mean i never have any plans then #so you can't just schedule me without asking! and it's about mentally coping too because i really feel like i'm going to get burnt out. i'v #barely had any time to do my university summer work and i've already had to reschedule a tutorial because i got put on extra shifts that da #and ugh sorry for ranting AGAIN but it's just making me feel so stressed and awful. i really don't want to do those extra shifts but it's #something i feel like i can't really say no to and i just didn't think employers would be so entitled like that. just scheduling me in #constantly as if they have this unquestioning right to my free time #emma vents