#losing my belief in love more and more every second

[starnightlover]

Hi. Sorry, I just really feel like complaining. Obviously you can ignore this, I just have nowhere else to word vomit lol. I've been trying to shift since 2019. I've gotten into the void state for like 20 seconds but got too freaked out/excited and lost stability before I could manifest or shift anywhere. I feel like I'm going crazy. I've done the whole thing of pasting sticky notes with affirmations all over my apartment, had meditated for an hour or more a day for weeks at a time, listened to subliminals 24/7 and obvious tried all the classic methods like the raven method, julia method, etc, etc. I've had multiple lucid dreams where I tried to make portals and I've even had a lucid dream (or I guess I shifted) where I saw a "centre" for shifting with a bunch of islands and floating petals that we used as transportation between islands. I got a whole tour by some guide and he showed me other lives I'm currently living. That was like a year ago, and I haven't manifested anything significant or went anywhere since then. I'm going through a really tough time right now. I wouldn't have gone on like this if I didn't believe in it, but I'm just feeling really beaten down. I'm exhausted and frustrated.

Hi lovely, I'm so sorry you feel this way.

It’s understandable. But remember all the lucid dreams you’ve had and the void states that you’ve been in. They’re a reflection of your ability for shifting. You’ve been incredibly close before, and your subconscious mind is capable of doing so. You can take a break if you want, because shifting requires a healthy amount of persistence. Just remember that no matter how long of a break you have, you’ve come really far already. The void state is one step away from shifting. And don’t forget your lucid dream, where you basically saw your ability to change realities. Don’t take my word for granted. Just think about it. You can do it, you do have the abilities, all you have to do is keep going. You can take a small break if you want to rest, but don’t let yourself lose all your progress. Stay determined, stay motivated, don’t lose your abilities. You can do this!!

You’ve come so far, and you’ve been in the final stages. Don’t think about how it’s been years without a single shift. It’s been years where you’ve learned techniques, you’ve learned about yourself, you’ve honed in your shifting abilities. Just because you haven’t shifted in years doesn’t mean you’ve made no progress. This is just the next step in your shifting journey. Go forward. Take that step. Shift like nothing’s stopping you. You’re so close. You’ve had enough time to think about it. You’ve been here, wanting to get to your desired reality for all this time. You haven’t given up on it yet. You’ve kept coming back hoping, trying, dreaming, wanting to shift to the reality you want and finally be with your hard work! Why would you stop now? You owe it to yourself to keep trying. Don’t give up, because it has always been your dream to shift.

Your determination, drive, motivation, and dedication to shifting is so praiseworthy. It's been years since you started this journey, and you haven't given up! You've persisted for this long and you've gotten close so many times, it's almost impossible for you to not have enough abilities to shift realities. Remember all the things you've seen and experienced while trying to shift realities, all the things you've gone through and the efforts of hard work that you've put into shifting realities. Don't give up now. You just have to keep going. You can do it, I believe in you!

Keep going. Don’t stop now.

I mean, just think about it: you possess this incredible power within you to shape your own existence. You're not just a passive observer in the grand theater of life; you're the playwright, the director, and the star actor all rolled into one.

You see, the universe is like this vast, infinite canvas, and you? You're the artist putting forth the brush. Every thought, every belief, every intention you hold is like a stroke on that canvas.

Now, here's the kicker: you have the ability to shift to any reality you choose. It's not some distant, unattainable dream—it's within your awareness right here, right now. Reality-shifting isn't this Herculean task reserved for a select few; it's as easy as changing your mind.

You are the god of your reality, lovely!!! You have the power to shift!!! It's not about waiting for the stars to align or some external force to swoop in and save the day. It's about realizing that the power you seek has been within you all along. So, embrace it. Own it. Know that you are the creator of your own destiny. And when doubts creep in or challenges arise, remember this: you are god, and reality-shifting is as easy as flipping the script. You've got this. After all, you are god.

And remember! You don't actually need specific methods to shift realities; it's about tapping into your innate power as a being that is pure consiousnious not attached to any body, mind, or reality! . Every moment, you're making choices that shift you to a different reality, and reality-shifting to your DR is just as easy! It's just bevomi b aware of it. While methods and techniques can be helpful tools, they're just that—tools! The real magic happens when you tap into your own inner wisdom and intuition, trusting yourself to allow the process to unfold organically. Embrace your innate creativity and intuition, and watch as your reality begins to shift in ways you never thought possible.

Now just remember my love, to keep on visualizing, keep on affirming, and most importantly keep persisting!!!! . And, be gentle with yourself along the way. Shifting may not happen overnight, but each step you take brings you closer to your DR. So hold onto hope, and know that your breakthrough is just around the corner.

#anonymous asks #reality shifting #shifting #shift #shifting blog #shifting realities #shifting consciousness #shifting reality #shifting antis dni #anti shifters dni #shiftblr #shifting motivation #shifters

[theamazingannie]

If I had a nickel for every time a beloved comedian I loved built a persona around loving his wife and then publicly had an affair I would have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s deeply upsetting that it’s happened twice

#men are constantly disappointing me why can’t y’all just not fucking cheat on your amazing hot wives😭😭😭 #john mulaney #ned fulmer #try guys #I’ve followed these guys for almost their entire career #i always thought Eugene would be the first to officially go considering his extended absences #to be fair ned was my least favorite ngl but still this is us letting #*upsetting #Ariel is so amazing how could he do this with her #how could Alexandria??? #losing my belief in love more and more every second

[mothnoir]

So so normal about what a character's music tastes says about them

#[miserable sigh] hello its s0naverse again #how each song wraps around and peers into their psyche #indicators of their sense of style and taste. #do they like sad music? do they like loud music? upbeat and pop-y music? #do you feel your grip on your soul slipping onto a numb nothing every day. #are you full of rage and urges you cant control that scare you beyond belief #are you becoming mortal again. are you losing your mortality. are you two stars hurtling past eachother #desperately reaching out for one another and clinging on for dear life the second you make contact #when you inevitably explode into nothingness will you reform together into a nebula or warp into a black hole? #will you save eachother? #<- inevitably circled back into those tragic little gay men they consume my every waking thought still /ref #nvjdkj god's third wheeling at this point & the only thing holding her into the equation is how deeply she's #wormed her self and her influence into it. into the tboy. metaphorically and literally #and like. he can always leave her but he'll always have her heart. she'll always have his #but by god she cannot stop their supernova of a love #nvkdkkjs I say that like theyre so romantic with eachother. they cant hold hands for more than a few minutes without getting #deeply embarrassed. dork ass nerds /affectionate #s0naverse posting on main. late night rambles from beyond the stars. the shooting stars [joke drum sfx] #gndkks having a ship name for them feels so dumb but going sona x stylus feels even dumber sometimes #hey it leads to cheesy analyses so its good for something #delete or not to delete later #status noir #sonaverse

[beegalactica]

The real 'glow-up' is all mental.

With it being the prime season for the 'how to glow up' guides to make their rounds in the media we consume, it is always worth reminding yourself that the only way you are going to 'glow up' on the outside is if you 'glow up' on the inside.

I personally get annoyed with the whole glowing-up phenomenon because it perpetuates this idea that there is some kind of 'end goal' in life and once you reach it, everything will be perfect. In a world where the idea of what it means to be attractive, intelligent, successful, or desirable in any way is constantly changing, there is only one constant: YOU.

You are a lifelong investment, and you are worth every penny, second, and ounce of effort you put into yourself.

Let's go over some of my glow-up tips and habits for you this year and examine how much of your levelling-up will really need to take place in your head.

Invest in your hygiene. This doesn't mean buying the most expensive skincare and having a 30-step routine, this means brushing your teeth every day, taking showers regularly and looking after your hair. Of course, we all want to achieve that 'clean girl aesthetic' but to me, simple hygiene is the best way to send a message to your body and mind that you care. Nothing says "I love you just the way you are" to your body like taking the time to clean it, care for it and pay attention to what it needs.

Invest in your surroundings. Now I know, making your bed every morning can be an unnecessary waste of time, especially if you're just going to end up getting back into it at night, but I like to think that my surroundings reflect my mental state, so if my room is a mess, best believe my mind is a mess too.

Invest in your interests. Start a hobby, pick up a new skill, try to find a book that interests you, or even start a Tumblr blog 😉😉! This year, I am focusing on really cultivating myself and becoming an interesting person who has things to talk about with people, instead of mindless gossip or resulting in self-deprecation to entertain others.

Invest in your happiness. Do what makes you happy. Distance yourself from those who seek to pull you down, to prop themselves up. You are worth so much more than that. Sometimes, those people are in our households, and the only way to cope is to know what makes us feel good and chase that happiness. Know that whatever issue you are facing shall pass and you will feel good again.

There is a common belief among people who may struggle with their self-image that once they fix this, or change that, everything will be perfect, but as someone who has had that mentality, it won't. If you want to lose 10kg for example, but hate your current body, waking up skinny tomorrow won't fix that voice in your head that tells you that you're still not good enough. If you love yourself as you are, and acknowledge that exercising is a form of self-love, and it doesn't take away from it, that mental glow-up will begin to manifest itself physically.

What's the point of others complimenting you daily if you don't believe it or can't accept it because you don't think of yourself the way that they do?

Trust me when I say this, my biggest milestone on my 'glow up journey' was not losing x amount of weight, but looking at myself in the mirror, first thing in the morning with no make-up or styling, and still being able to say "Damn, I'm so beautiful." And I can confidently tell you that to reach this point, I didn't set the intention of losing weight and trying to become more beautiful, I set the intention of loving and accepting myself the way that I am and all the actions that followed after stemmed from this love that I have. I didn't feel the need to exercise because I wanted to be skinny, but because I knew that it was what my body needed, and I loved my body so much that I was willing to do that for her.

It's easy to get wrapped up in so many things and lose sight of yourself, but when that phone is off and you're all alone, disconnected from the rest of the world, what do you say to yourself?

P.S. If you're reading this thank you all for the love on my first post! Opening Tumblr every day to new notifications has created this sort of excitement and extreme joy that I didn't even know was possible! Stay safe and take care of yourself 💗💓

#lifeblr #girlblogging #girlblogger #it girl #that girl #becoming that girl #glow up #it girl energy #clean girl #glow up tips #self improvement #self development #how to glow up #self care #self love

[nanaminsmoon]

babydaddy!connie x blackfem!reader

a/n: this one made my heart ache a little icl. but i had to put this song because it goes so well😭

pt.2

cw: pnv, unprotected sex, infidelity (reader cheats), connie calls reader; 'ma', 'hermosa', ”es bueno, ma?” ("is it good, ma?"), "quieres otro hijo, hm? you want a boy or a girl? dime, and i’ll give it to you” ("you want another kid, hm? [...] tell me, and i'll give it to you"),

wc: 3380

“why’s my daughter telling me you got a boyfriend?”, booming from where its owner was stood at the door, connie’s voice abruptly entered your ear canals to bring your attention to him. after hugging your daughter, you had kept your front door open for connie to come in if he wanted to. and, when he followed you both inside, you had just assumed he was bringing in your daughter’s belongings. even as he stuck around after having placed her bags in her bedroom, his presence was dashed to the back of your mind. now, as your child sat in the garden eating with her aunt, he was demanding your attention as he leant against the doorframe.

“because i do”, your eyes were trained on the soapy dishes in front of you, and they wouldn’t divert as you spoke. meaning you didn’t see the incredulous expression on your ex-boyfriend’s face, as his features scrunched at your straight forward response.

“the fuck you need a boyfriend for?”, he asked. confusion was laced through every word in that sentence to hold it together so it could leave his mouth. barely.

“because we can't fuck as friends forever, connie. at some point we both need to move on, and i have”, you answered, frankly. the decision to coparent came after you and connie decided to break up four years ago. and four long years had been hastened by sunday sunsets spent behind closed bedroom doors when he returned your daughter back to you. meaning that suspicions did rise when the emotions sprawled on your face, at the end of every week, had become more impassive—the lustful glimmer in your irises, dimming to a seemingly more platonic one. yet, connie never said anything, he just assumed you wanted space. that’s not to say that it didn’t bother him, but he knew that he couldn’t beg you to come back to him. as much as he did want to.

because, contrary to popular belief, connie had changed since you two broke up. having heard the news of you having a boyfriend, old connie would’ve had a video of some girl throwing ass on him seared into the back of your eyelids by sundown. but old connie had never developed an understanding of how important his family was, and new connie would lose his life before he lost his girls. yet, these two different versions of the same man still shared one similarity; their love for antagonising you.

“so you're just bringing randoms into the place my daughter sleeps?”, connie exaggerated as he always did, irritation audible in his tone. and you’d roll your eyes at him.

“first off, he's not a random, he's my boyfriend. and second, this is my house, i can bring in whoever i want”, you said, wiping a pan. that term, ’my boyfriend’, was an anvil that sunk connie’s intestines to his feet in a way he had never felt before. it was hard to put a finger on what exact feeling it induced, but he did know that it pressed his dreams, of getting his family back, into grains of sand that would escape his grasp through the growing gaps in his fingers.

“has she met him?”, he asked, cautiously, looking at his sock covered feet in the slippers you had always kept for him. in the past, that had been a gesture that made him feel at home with you; something that made him feel like you still cared for him the way he did you. but now, the slippers felt uncomfortable. like they were growing in size, and the only person capable of wearing them was someone he could never be—like he couldn’t fill them anymore, and you knew that so you had gotten someone else to do it.

“yeah, he came over and cooked us dinner and she loved it.”, you said, tone coming out more braggy than you had hoped. and that hurt connie more than it angered him, but the latter was the only thing he was capable of expressing.

“so what, you gonna marry him?”, those words were abrupt, even surprising connie’s ears. but they’d be met with a scoff from your glossed lips as annoyance built inside you. your love life was none of his concern, and he knew that, so his entitlement infuriated you beyond belief.

“i don't know, connie”, you said, vexed, as you waved him off, “even if i was, why’s that any of your business?”,

“’cause you're the mother of my child. as long as she's here, your business is my business”, the truth in that statement rested in what connie didn’t say. that being, you were the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with so, whether you liked it or not, his heart had already staked its claim on you. and he needed to know who to fend off, to keep you by his side.

no thoughts spawned in your mind at that statement, so you’d just remain silent as you continued what you were doing. that gave connie enough time to search for straws to clutch at to get you back. but he could only ever draw one. that was the one that placed a small smile on his face as his tongue swiped across his bottom lip; if connie couldn’t win your mind over, he’d try his luck at the one thing that refused to obey the former.

”so we’re done? not even one more time for the road?”, connie’s shoulder pushed his body off the doorframe, before he started making his way toward you. a stutter in your mind would replay that phrase, ’one more time for the road’, until it finally clicked.

“we're not fucking, no”, you said, avoiding eye contact.

“just quickly, ma. i know you miss it.”, connie’s smirk would only widen when his statement received no rebuttal. and it’d stay that way as he walked to stand right behind you—he’d place a hand on either side of you, pushing you right against the counter. all you could muster was a harsh swallow as connie moved closer to you, and his breath would be touching your neck as he spoke, voice lowered.

"you used to call me all the time telling me you ain't never had dick like this. and i know he ain't fucking you good enough for you to forget about me", connie’s lips brushed past your ear. a brief shudder would intensify to wring out any suppressed longing you held for him, producing a moist patch at the front of your underwear. and that was before you could even feel his desperation, to keep you his, pressing into your lower back. once that’d register, you’d have to breathe deeply to release the temptation building within you.

"i'm not cheating on my man, connie", you said, voice shaking. a sigh would fall from connie’s lips, hitting the spot on your neck they planned to cover, before transfiguring into a tingle that explored your back. one of connie’s favourite things about you was your loyalty, so that answer was expected. but he’d still kiss his teeth at the knowledge that it was now being directed toward someone else.

"then leave him", he’d say, an inch away from your neck, before his plump lips would attach to the skin there. a proprietorial mark would be etched onto your skin when connie heard you sigh out in pleasure. the erasure of all his doubts would arrive when you tilted your head to give him better access. and those doubts would then be quashed completely when your hand rose to run your fingers through his buzzcut.

a few more kisses to the neck, combined with connie’s hand venturing into the front of your leggings to rub away all loyalties to your man, affirmed connie’s statements about you missing him. but once you were in the privacy of your bedroom, he could actually feel how much you missed him; your need for him was prominent in the way you tightened around his length like you feared letting him go. this was the first time where fucking you was a welcomed struggle, pulling out of you being a necessity he wanted to avoid. mainly due to the connection of your foreheads, connie couldn’t see anything but you; the noises you made, your scent, the look he could discern in your eyes when they weren’t exploring their sockets, all of it warmed his heart in an infuriatingly delightful way. and there was no way you hadn’t missed him, and the way he knew your body inside out. the way he knew where to kiss as your legs rested over his shoulders, a pillow sat underneath your hips as your nails painted stripes onto the skin on his back. five years ago, connie fucked you in every position he could think of, but separation birthed the need for closeness. so now, whenever you two fucked, it was always in a position that allowed for his eyes to be locked with yours as his tip poked that spot that had made you nut twice already.

”es bueno, ma?”, he asked and you’d nod a reply, pulling a smile from the man above you. you were all he could see, and perhaps that’s why he saw love in everything that surrounded him.

prior to this point in his life, connie’s need to build a family with you had never been a focal point for him. but now it was all he could see; he saw it in the envy that followed him around at the sight of families happily laughing together, he saw it in the ducks dutifully trailing their mother at the pond near your house, and he felt it when the merging of you and your daughter’s giggles made his heart feel swollen in a way he could never soothe. if he had it his way, you’d both be married with four kids living in some mansion somewhere. but when push came to shove, his ideals only ever amounted to short-lived ‘conversations’ when you two were fucking,

”quieres otro hijo, hm? you want a boy or a girl? dime, and i’ll give it to you”, a fucked out mutter would always fall from your lips, and that’s the only answer he could ever get from you. because the answer you gave him any other time, tore his heart into a million pieces he had yet to locate. your boyfriend posed a new challenge for him, so connie would have to tell you how he felt before he lost you forever. feverish kisses would be placed on any skin connie would reach, as his hips sped up. pleasured mumbles would mean nothing to him, because he could feel your body warning him of your release.

”i’m yours, hermosa, just—fuck—nut on it”, he’d instruct, and your body would obey. this man was fucking you so good, you could’ve sworn you felt your soul leave its vessel, to watch you coating connie and the bed underneath you, in your arousal. and connie wouldn’t be far behind—hips losing their rhythm, and low ’fuck’s leaving his mouth before he started kissing you again.

”ifuckingloveyou”, he messily kissed onto your lips and surprise struck you so hard, you didn’t even register your own mouth speaking back to him,

”mmloveyoutoo”, those words would be enough to trigger a twitching in connie’s balls that would empty them, until he was leaking out of you.

the kiss you two shared was bittersweet, both literally and figuratively. not just due to the lingering taste of the results of your aching throat, mixing with the reason why you could still feel his lips wrapping around your clit, but also because connie felt like he was flirting with a dream that could never be realised. but that wouldn’t stop you two from losing yourself in each other and making out for a few minutes. until you’d hear a knock. all movements would be halted, and there’d be silence from behind the door. then winces, and small hisses of discomfort, would fill the space as connie pulled out of you before getting up to put his boxers on. he’d step off the bed, walking over to the door to tend to, who he thought was, his daughter.

”princesa, we’ll be out in a second, okay?”, connie shouted to the other side of the door, but the voice he heard was not the one he was expecting.

“the fuck’s going on?!”, connie’s eyes would dart back to your wide ones, before a smirk would quickly grace his face. it was clear to see that he was trying his very hardest to not burst into laughter, despite your panic being written all over you. disorientation clouded you to the point that you didn’t even realise that the shirt you decided to put on your body was connie’s. but he would. and he wouldn’t say anything, even as you walked to the door to talk to your boyfriend.

”i can explain”, is all you’d manage to get out to your man, before he’d open the door further to find connie sitting himself on the bed, covering himself with the sheets he’d just put on his lower half. the lower half of his face remained smug, but the upper half of it was focused as he watched the scene unfolding in front of him; desperate hands grappling to hold your boyfriend’s arms or hands, as he paced the room, trying to digest what he was seeing. connie’s enjoyment would be short-lived, ending when he heard the angry words your boyfriend was throwing at you.

”shoulda fucked her better, then i wouldna had to do it”, he said, still laid on the bed. the room would fall still once again, and you’d look at him in pleading. he’d shrug, but acquiesce, not saying anything after that comment. that seemed to be the final straw for your boyfriend, because he’d say something about needing to go outside before walking out.

the blustering of infuriated footsteps would fade out as you followed your boyfriend down the hallway to the front door. connie would sit in waiting, leaning against the headboard, as he contemplated what this meant for the both of you, but those thoughts would be cut short at your return. alone. it turns out, no amount of apologies or promises that this will never happen again could convince your boyfriend to stay. and, though that elated connie more than he cared to admit, he couldn’t help the lump forming in his throat at the sight of your slumped posture as you sandwiched your lip between your teeth, swallowing pained tears. that lump would block any sly comments he planned to make. in fact, he wouldn’t even speak as he got up to walk to you, hands reaching to pull you closer to him. even as you pushed him away,

”leave me alone”, you chided, quietly. but, no matter how hard you pushed, connie would overpower you to pull you into the warmest hug you’d had in months. its warmth would invite your arms to wrap around him, sobs spilling into his bare chest the second your cheek touched it. not once letting go, connie would pull you back into bed, wrap you in the sheets, before comforting you. relief drowned a certain of him as it knew that he had a chance of getting you back. but the part of him that still had its head above water wrestled with guilt; there’s nothing this man wanted for you than happiness, and seeing his hands be the ones to take it away from you pained him.

the commotion of everything numbed you to your environment, so it would be only a few moments before your distraught sobs would reach the ears of the person you wanted to hear them least. small knocks would bring yours and connie’s attention to the half-open door, and you’d try to get yourself together, but there was only so much you could do to hide the shadows of sorrow reddening your eyes, and creating darkened splotches on connie’s shirt. as soon as you saw your daughter reach up to comfort you, you’d climb off the bed and hug her, feeling your heart start to glue back together when she wiped a tear off your face. both you and connie would instruct her to wait for you in the living room and you’d begin getting dressed properly once you’d hear her run off excitedly.

the both of you would get dressed, and walk down the stairs, in silence. the most connie would provide would be an arm around your shoulder, and a kiss to your temple, which you accepted happily. and, as soon as you were within an earshot of the living room, you’d hear ’the little mermaid’ playing for the nth time, accompanied by the usual harmonisations provided by your daughter’s jovial singing. you’d be admiring the blankets, cushions, and snacks she had set up before you’d be distracted by the rustling of connie putting his shoes and coat on. every fibre of your being would beg you to stop him, but you’d try and convince yourself that he probably had somewhere to be. however, such considerations meant nothing to your hand that was already reaching to grab at his own,

”stay.”, you asked quietly, and his eyes would widen at the request. of course he wanted to stay, but he didn’t think you’d want to spend another minute around the man who had just ruined your relationship. but then once your daughter ran up to him, pouting while asking,

”please~”, his decision would be made for him.

as you watched the movie, you’d notice connie’s eyes fixated on you. at first you thought he was watching your daughter wave her little mermaid doll around but, when you’d turn to check, you’d be met with direct eye contact. his lips would fall agape only to meet again, before they’d open to allow their owner to mouth a belated apology,

”i’m sorry”, his swollen lips would trace out, and a forgiving ”it’s okay” would be mouthed by your own lips. there’d a second where you’d just be staring at each other in mutual love and understanding. it was obvious that this chapter wasn’t finished, not when the authors holding the pens had changed immensely since the day the first page of the book had been written. but small hands would rise to push your faces to face the screen, and connie’s own inability to forgive himself for his actions would shift his eyes to the floor. that’s when they’d narrow in on the slippers that did nothing but breed insecurity. a small voice in his head would ask him if they still felt hard to fill, and admittedly, they still did. yet, looking at them again, he didn’t mind that. though the future still held uncertainties, the feeling of you and your daughter leaning on him, as his arm reached around to embrace you both, filled the gaps of himself he had lost confidence in. because this was all he had ever wanted; to become a person that could be leant on by the people he cared for most. both of you. for as long as his lungs held breath, and for as long as the image of you and your child falling asleep on him every night, was the only one his subconscious could conjure up when his head met his pillow at the end of every day.

© Rights owned by nanaminsmooninc. Do not repost without permission.

#nanaminsmooninc #aot x black reader #aot x black y/n #connie springer x black reader #connie x black reader #connie x black y/n #connie smut #aot connie #Spotify

[fatecantstopme]

The Wink

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: Bucky reveals how he really feels about you through a series of winks and an answer to a question you never wanted to ask.

Warnings: SMUT, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V). Aftercare. Small bits of fluff. Slight body issues (Bucky hates his scars). Feelings about being used for sex. Use of pet names.

"You're an idiot," you said with a laugh.

"Maybe, but this was entirely your idea."

You smacked his arm and rolled your eyes. "It was your idea, James."

He cocked his head to the side as if he was deciding if he agreed with you or not. He took another swig of his beer and shrugged. "It's possible that you're right." He held up a dart and shook it in front of you. "So you gonna take the bet or not?"

You grabbed the dart from his hand and grinned. "You're still an idiot." You threw the dart and it hit the board with expert precision. "Are you sure you wanna take the bet?" you teased.

Hr grinned and stepped forward, throwing his own dart at the board. It was an instant bullseye. "Oh doll, I'm gonna win this one." He winked as he teased you.

You groaned, knowing you were probably going to regret this later. You threw the dart again, aim pretty good, but certainly not a bullseye. "Shit."

Bucky threw his bullseye a second time. He turned to look at you, shooting you a wink as he grabbed his drink. "Your turn, doll."

"You can't win, Barnes."

"I'm pretty sure the game is mine, sweets."

You bit your lip and turned to face the board again. You knew that losing wasn't an option. You took a deep breath and threw your last dart, sinking it right in the bullseye. "Yes!!"

Bucky smiled and threw his last dart. "Ooo, bullseye number three, doll. Looks like I win." He winked at you again before setting his drink down and leaning closer to you. "So now you have to answer my question."

"What was your question again?" you asked in a light tone, trying to give yourself more time to formulate a better answer.

"If you could only save one person's life on the team, who would you choose?"

It was the question you never wanted to think about, let alone answer. If it came down to it, who would you pick? Whose life did you value more? Could you even pick between your teammates--your friends? Hell, every single one of them was more like family...how could you pick one family member to save?

The problem is, you knew your answer. You knew it from the moment Bucky had first asked the question 20 minutes prior. You'd refused to answer, thinking he would just let it go, but you should have known better. Instead, he made a wager...putting the answer to his question on a game darts. A game you had lost.

You could answer him honestly, but that terrified you beyond belief. You could lie to him instead, but that had its own risks. It was a rock and a hard place scenario and he knew he had you.

"I can't choose, Buck," you complained.

"It's hypothetical!"

"I know, but I love all of you. How could I possibly choose?"

"I chose," he said simply.

Your mind wandered back to a mission from three weeks before. The mission where Bucky had saved your life...

The room suddenly lit up, the muzzle of a gun flashing brightly as a bullet shot from it. The gun was pointed at you and you knew you were about to die. You could practically feel the end racing towards you at the speed of a bullet. You closed your eyes, bracing yourself for the pain, but it never came. Your eyes opened to a scene you'd never imagined seeing.

Bucky stood in front of you, his gun firing off a round as he dropped to his knees. His bullet hit his target, killing the Hydra agent instantly. When Bucky hit the ground, you hit it with him, coming to his front to assess the damage.

"Bucky!" your eyes scanned his body, panic settling into your chest. He was bleeding, but he looked alright.

"I'm fine, doll. It's just a shoulder wound."

"Why'd you do that? Why'd you jump in front of me?"

"Because you wouldn't have survived it. And I couldn't live with that," he said softly.

He wasn't wrong. That bullet would have killed you. While it only pierced his shoulder, it would have hit you directly in the head, killing you instantly.

"Thank you," you whispered.

"Anything for you, doll," he said with a wink.

Back in the present, you shook your head, clearing the memories from your mind. "That's not the same, Buck. I'd die for any one of you. That's much different than picking which one of you to save."

He shook his head. "You didn't see the whole thing. I didn't just save your life, I chose yours over Sam's."

You froze, trying to picture the moments before the gun went off, but the room had been so dark...you hadn't even seen Sam. "Sam's fine, though."

"Sam was fighting another Hydra agent when that one squared up with you. I saw him raise the gun at the same moment I saw Sam get pulled into a choke hold with a knife to his throat. I chose to save you."

You were silent, allowing his words to sink in. "I--I didn't know that. Sam never said anything."

"Sam got away moments later, so he never had a reason to bring it up."

"You just acted on instinct though."

"Perhaps, but I knew I would save you if it came down to it. I'd always choose you." He smiled and shot you another wink. It was the third one this evening alone and you were starting to wonder if they meant more than you'd originally thought.

Bucky was always winking at you. Sometimes jokingly, sometimes in a flirtatious manner, and sometimes even in a serious moment. They always made your heart flutter, but you didn't think they meant anything to him. Bucky was flirty, but he'd never made a move, so you assumed he wasn't interested.

"You still haven't answered my question, doll, and you do owe me an answer."

You took a deep breath and sighed. "Fine. I'd pick you, alright?" you said with a huff.

He looked surprised, but unconvinced. "Why? Because I picked you?"

You groaned, deciding to lay your cards out on the table, come what may. "No you idiot. Your stupid face popped into my head the moment you asked me the question, okay? I knew I'd pick you."

"Then why didn't you answer it the first time?"

"Because!"

"That's not an answer."

"Ugh!" You sighed again. "I didn't say it because I didn't want to explain why it was you."

Bucky looked at you strangely. "You're not gonna make me ask, are you?"

"Damnit, James," you groaned. "I can't live without you, okay? There's no world worth being in if you're not in it."

You couldn't believe you'd just said that out loud, but here you were, heart laid bare, in the awkwardly quiet compound game room.

Bucky didn't say a word, but he wasn't speechless. He was simply contemplating his next move, weighing the consequences of his actions before he made them.

After a few more painfully silent moments, he grumbled "Fuck it," before crossing the short distance between you two and pressing his lips to yours in a frantic, yet passionate kiss.

You were surprised by the suddenness of his actions, but you melted into him without a second thought. The kiss was infinitely better than you had imagined, and you had done quite a lot of imagining.

When Bucky's lips left yours, you whined slightly, wanting nothing more than for him to kiss you again.

"Sorry, doll. I've wanted to do that for ages."

"Well what you took you so long?" you asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "I wasn't sure you wanted me to. You never said anything either, you know. At least I dropped hints."

You rolled your eyes. "Can you please just kiss me again?"

He grinned and leaned back into you, mouth encompassing yours instantly. He loved the taste of your lips, the feeling of your tongue fighting against his, the way you gripped his arms like you were terrified he was going to disappear.

Bucky pulled away once more, the action almost painful. "Should we move this to my room? Anyone could see us here."

"Bit presumptuous of you, James," you teased.

He started to back peddle, a look of panic crossing his features. "Oh, I--uh--I didn't mean--"

You laughed. "I was teasing you, handsome. I'd love to move this elsewhere."

He relaxed, exhaling long and slow. "Thank god." He grabbed your hand and practically dragged you towards the elevator. "Come on."

"Buck, my legs are a lot shorter than yours, so can you slow down a little?" you asked as you jogged after him.

"Sorry, sweets." He turned towards you and scooped you up with ease before continuing to the elevator.

"What are you doing?"

"It's faster if I just carry you."

"Are we in a rush?"

He gave you an unreadable look. "Let's just say I've wanted you for so long that I actually might not be able to contain myself for much longer."

You smirked. "So you're gonna take me right here in this elevator?"

His eyes darkened. "Don't tempt me, baby, because I will."

You blushed. "I wouldn't say no..."

He looked like he was considering it for a moment before shaking his head to clear his dirty mind. "No, no. Our first time needs to be in a bed, where I can attend to your every need, not some dirty elevator."

You'd be lying if you said that the idea of him attending to your every need wasn't sexy as hell. The image of him on his knees for you sent a wave of pleasure straight to your core.

Bucky inhaled deeply and a low growl escaped his throat. "Fuck, you smell good."

You gasped, realizing he could actually smell your arousal...freaking super soldier senses.

The elevator door finally opened and Bucky practically ran towards his room. He pushed his door open and kicked it closed behind him before tossing you on the bed. He stepped away from you and took a few deep breaths.

"Bucky? You okay?" you asked in concern.

"I just need a minute, doll. Need to control myself."

"Why? I'm not afraid of you."

"You should be and you know it," he growled. "I could hurt you and I might if I lose control."

You crawled across the bed towards him, hand reaching out to him. "You're not going to hurt me, Buck. Just come here...please..."

His eyes met yours and you were taken aback by how dark they were. The normally bright blue irises were almost entirely hidden by his pupils, an almost feral look in them. It was an expression that might terrify a lesser woman, but you trusted Bucky with your life. That wasn't going to stop in the bedroom.

"Come here, baby," you whispered gently.

He let you take his arm and pull him towards the bed. He stopped when his legs touched the edge of the mattress. "I wanna be gentle with you, doll. Treat you right."

You cocked your head to the side as you took him in. "While I love that sentiment, Bucky, I don't need that. I need you and I'll take you in whatever form you come."

He groaned. "You're amazing."

You grinned. "Oh baby, you ain't seen nothing yet." You shot him a wink to emphasize your statement and he practically jumped on top of you, earning a squeal of delight from you.

He pinned you to the bed and started kissing you again as his hands began to undress you. His hands were fumbling with your shirt and he groaned in frustration before simply ripping it in two.

"Bucky!"

"I'm sorry, I'll buy you three to replace it," he mumbled, reattaching his lips to your skin.

He quickly rid you of your pants, leaving you in nothing but your underwear and a bralette that was arguably a little small for your chest.

Bucky sat back to take you in, eyes hungrily dancing across your body. He tapped the fabric between your breasts, "Is this expensive?"

You shook your head. "I have a couple more like it."

"Good," he said as he pulled a knife from his pants and slid it under the fabric, cutting the bralette in two. He cut the straps and tossed the ruined fabric onto the floor along with his blade.

You stared at him in a shocked silence, wetness seeping into your underwear. "That was hot as hell."

He grinned and inhaled deeply. "I can tell you liked it, pretty girl."

He grabbed your underwear and tugged them harshly down your legs. "Holy shit," he murmured, sliding a finger between your folds to collect your juices. "This all for me?"

"All for you, Bucky."

He licked his finger and groaned loudly. "Fuck, baby, you taste even better than I imagined."

He dropped to his stomach between your thighs, spreading your legs as wide as he could. He didn't bother to tease you, just dove right in, devouring you with a kind of hunger you'd never experienced.

You were a moaning mess in minutes, begging him not to stop, a plea he took to heart. When your orgasm hit, he worked you through it, never stopping to even take a breath.

You tugged on his hair and whimpered, but he kept going, needing to taste you for a little while longer. He wanted to feel you explode on his tongue again and again and again until you couldn't take it anymore.

"Bucky--I'm so close, please," you gasped.

He dug his fingers into your hips and kept your pussy tight to his face, not letting you squirm away.

Moments later you came with a cry of his name, waves of pleasure making your hips buck against his face. He worked you through it, only stopping when you begged him to give you a break.

He lifted his head, giving you a view of his slick covered beard. "I could eat that pretty pussy all day long, baby." He licked his lips. "Tastes so damn good."

You whimpered softly and reached for him, wanting to kiss him again. He wiped his face on his shirt before tugging it off over his head and lowering his body back down to yours. You held him close as you kissed him, fingers lightly tracing the scars on his left shoulder.

You felt his body stiffen under your hands and you pulled away to look at him. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," he murmured.

"Hey," you said softly, grabbing his chin to force him to look at you. "Talk to me."

He sighed heavily. "I'm just not used to anyone touching my scars."

"Oh," you said in surprise, pulling your hand away from him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Shit--no, that's not what I meant. Most women tend to avoid them. I know they're not pretty to look at."

"I think they're beautiful."

He looked at you as if you were insane.

"I'm serious, Bucky. Each one tells a unique story of your life. They're a part of you and that makes them beautiful to me."

His eyes softened and you could have sworn you saw the ghost of a tear slide down his cheek. "I don't deserve you," he whispered.

"Oh hush. That's not for you to decide." You hooked your leg around his hips and flipped him over with surprising ease. "If we had more time, I'd kiss every single one of your scars until you believed me, but we don't."

His eyes widened. "Are we in a rush, baby?" he teased, echoing your earlier statement.

You grinned. "If I don't get your cock in me soon, I may never recover."

"We can't let that happen, so we better get to it."

He helped you remove his pants, leaving him in just his boxer briefs. His bulge was massive and your mouth was watering in anticipation. You gripped the waistband of his underwear and pulled them down slowly, allowing his cock to spring free.

You inhaled sharply as you took in the massive erection before you, a slight panic settling into your bones at the thought of having something that large inside of you.

As if he sensed your panic, Bucky chuckled lightly and said, "Don't worry, baby. It'll fit."

"I don't think so."

He grinned. "We'll make it fit."

You looked up at him with what you hoped was a neutral expression. Concern immediately clouded his face, so you knew you'd failed miserably.

"Hey doll, it's okay. I'll go nice and slow, alright? I'll be gentle."

You nodded and took a deep breath. You positioned yourself directly above his painfully erect cock and began to lower yourself down very slowly.

Bucky gripped your hips tightly, making sure to guide you as slowly as he could manage. You both moaned as he began to enter you, the stretch causing you to dig your nails into his chest.

"I've got you," he whispered.

You tried to lower yourself further, but Bucky's grip on your hips kept you from moving. He meant it when he said he wanted to be as gentle as possible.

"I can take it, Buck. Let me try," you murmured.

He looked at you and nodded slowly, not looking entirely convinced, but he loosened his grip on your hips, allowing you to take control.

You took a deep breath, deciding to handle this like removing a band-aid--just get it over with. You sat down on top of him, sheathing his entire cock within your tight walls.

You cried out in a mixture of pleasure and pain, body stretched in ways it had never been stretched before.

Bucky groaned loudly, almost covering your cry. He looked at you with wide eyes, checking to see if you were okay.

Your body was acclimating to his size and you were becoming desperate the longer he remained still. "Please, Bucky," you whimpered.

"What do you need, baby?"

"I need you to fuck me--please."

He gripped your hips again and started to move slowly, letting you match his pace.

"I'm not made of glass," you grumbled.

He looked up at you in surprise. "What?"

"You're not going to break me, Bucky. I want you to fuck me until I can't walk, understand?"

He nodded rapidly, eyes darkening once more. "Are you sure?"

"Fuck. Me. Now." you demanded.

He wasn't going to deny you such a request. He shifted his body, planted his feet on the bed, and began to piston up into you with speed and force.

"Fuck!" you gasped, the pleasure slamming into you like a freight train.

"You're so tight, doll. Feels so good wrapped around my cock."

Bucky was giving you exactly what you'd asked for and you loved it. The tip of his cock brushed your cervix with every thrust, the whisper of pain only adding to your enjoyment.

"Squeezing me so tight, baby. You gonna cum for me? Gonna make a mess on my cock?"

You whimpered and nodded rapidly, your third orgasm of the night creeping up on you. "Feels so good, Buck."

"I know, baby. It's like heaven--could stay here forever."

Your fingernails were digging crescent shapes into his chest as you clung to him, unable to do anything more than moan and gasp his name. "Please," you whimpered.

He knew exactly what you were asking for, so he didn't slow down or alter his movements. He continued to pound into you until you came with a cry of his name, pussy pulsating around his cock.

"Fuck!" he gasped. "Fuck--baby--shit, you've gotta stop that or I'm not gonna last."

"Can't help it," you mumbled. "Feels so good."

"I know pretty girl." He pulled you down to his chest and held on tightly as he flipped you onto your back, allowing him to get a better angle.

By this stage, your body was hyper-sensitive and you could feel every single movement he made.

His hips began to move again and his fingers caressed every part of you he could reach. He pinched your nipples, rolling them between his fingers as he fucked you. "Can you give me one more, sweets?"

Your eyes widened and you shook your head.

"You sure, doll? I think my pussy can do it." He changed his angle, giving him the ability to hit your g-spot with each thrust, as if to punctuate his sentence.

You moaned loudly and clenched tightly around him, eliciting a groan from his lips.

"I think she can give me one more, baby. My pussy--treating me so good--gonna make sure she feels good too."

You moaned again, nails clawing at his back as he fucked you.

"Yeah? You like that, huh?" he groaned into your ear. "Who's pussy is this, baby?"

"You--yours," you gasped out.

"That's right, doll. It's mine."

He knew you were getting close, so he slid his left hand down between your bodies, using his finger to gently massage your clit.

"Bucky!" you gasped.

"You gonna cum for me again, sweets?"

"So close," you whispered.

"I know, doll."

Three more thrusts and you were falling into an ocean of pleasure, wave after wave crashing into you. You were barely aware of Bucky chasing his own high, the crest of your pleasure blinding you to anything else.

Bucky came with a low groan of your name, spilling his seed deep within you. When he was spent, he collapsed on top of you, body shaking slightly from the intensity of his orgasm.

You laid like that for several minutes before Bucky finally shifted, rolling off of you and leaving you cold and empty. You reached for him almost instinctively, but he wasn't beside you.

You whimpered softly, looking around the room for him. He appeared from the bathroom holding a washcloth, a look of concern on his face.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"I didn't know where you went," you whispered sheepishly.

He looked sad. "Just wanted to get a nice warm washcloth to clean you up with, doll."

"Oh."

He very gently began to clean you up, hands surprisingly soft. "I've got you, doll. I'm here."

You felt kind of foolish...you were simply used to be treated differently by men. You'd always been the girl they'd fuck and leave, none of them ever stayed long enough to even make sure you'd cum, let alone clean you up after. It was wrong of you to assume that Bucky was the same.

When he was done, he tossed the washcloth to the floor and crawled back into the bed, pulling you into his chest. "Wanna tell me what's wrong, sweets?"

"I'm--I'm just not used to aftercare, that's all. I...I thought you left."

"It's my room," he teased softly, laying a kiss on top of your head. "Besides, I'd much rather hold you after sex than lay in an empty bed."

You looked up at him, taking in his disheveled appearance and eyes so full of love it almost hurt to look at them. "Thank you, Bucky."

His brow furrowed. "For what?"

"For being you," you said simply, placing a soft kiss to the scar on his right shoulder, the one he got from saving your life.

"Anything for you, doll. Anything for you."

#bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #james buchanan barnes #marvel smut #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic

[matrixbearer2024]

Can you do something with Vox and the reader and the reader listens to like sus or like nsfw songs (Think like Wheeler Walker Jr. (he’s a country music artist if you didn’t know, be warned)) and/or like morally questionable songs? Idk I’d think it’d just be funny with like the reader listening to a song and it’s just like really explicit😭🙏

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: I'm making a drabble out of this cuz I don't wanna go through the whole song for now- but this is way too funny of an idea to pass up. PLUS, I've got like the perfect song after the audio just popped up on my YouTube feed yesterday. Like, the song has two versions too- one explicit and one clean. Also, I am aware that the idiom in the title means being more cautious- but it kind of applies to Vox when he actually has to make a valiant effort to stop falling in love with you. He absolutely sucks at it but we're not gonna stop him LMAO.

Despite having prior knowledge to the songs you liked and listened to, Vox was still a bemused mess when guessing your music preferences. Sometimes he couldn't understand why you'd have a certain song in your playlist that just... didn't really fit. He'd even worry that something happened when a depressive song was randomly at the top of your 'most played' tunes for the day. Yet you were completely fine, actually just peachy- which confused him beyond belief.

All the more when he found you at the hotel teaching Angel some popular dance routines from when you were alive. The overlord didn't seem to mind what you were doing, hell- it was a little cute to watch. Even if he had a few qualms about your song choices, a lot of them bordering suggestive, it wasn't anything he hadn't heard before.

That was until the chorus of this specific tune started playing.

You wrap around me and you give me life~ And that's why night after night- I'll be fuckin' you right!

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THIS?!

It didn't help that you seemed completely unbothered by it?! Huh?!

Vox hadn't ever heard that song in your playlist before, if he had the lyrics and melody would be familiar- but no! So you had just decided to add this all of a sudden?! WHY??

He didn't realize his claws were digging into the bar top where he was leaning against until Lucifer pointed it out. Even then, he didn't react to the king of hell's teasing or jabs- merely crossing his arms as his brain tried to catch up with what was happening.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday- a week! Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday- Seven days a week!

Were you trying to tell him something?? Wha- how did you even find a song like this?! Much less know enough about the dance of it to teach! He was starting to overheat as his fans whirred loudly. Though at this point, it was mostly embarrassed confusion with a dash of lust.

Husker and Lucifer were sort of having a laugh at Vox's expense where they were standing near him. It had been clear as day ever since that the technology overlord had a thing for you-

This just pretty much confirmed it.

Maybe he totally wished to direct the song at you, if his pink screen was any indication. The guy even had small bolts of blue electricity just running across him, you were seriously sending Vox into overdrive and you had no idea!

Every hour, every minute, every second, you know night after night~ I'll be fuckin' you right, seven days a week!

By the time you had finished dancing with Angel, you picked up on some boisterous laughter by the hotel's bar. Only to see Lucifer and Husker actually losing it because a certain flatscreen companion of yours was bluescreened and sparking where he stood.

What the hell?

You were so confused.

But that just seemed to make a certain king and bartender laugh all the more.

#hazbin hotel #vox x reader #vox #hazbin hotel vox #get off my screen series #hazbin vox #vox x you #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Self Control.

Javi keeps refusing himself what he wants. One night puts everything into perspective.

Pairing - Javier Peña x female reader

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - Cursing, mentions of blood and death

Word Count - 3429

Author's Note - hello lovely people, hope you're all well. i've been a huge fan of pedro pascal since his narcos days, so all of this love for him happening currently is making me very happy. javier peña is perhaps my favourite tv character of all time, so i'm very excited to share this story with you. i'd always love to write more javi stuff, so if you ever have any thoughts, please send them my way. i'm happy to write for all pedro characters actually!! as always, much love x

Masterlist. Requests.

It wasn't supposed to go like this. 

It was supposed to be simple. A routine raid. Get the information and go. 

How did it all go so wrong? 

Gunshots. Blood. A sea of green uniforms scattering the ground. Escobar had somehow known about it. He was taking no prisoners. 

The Search Bloc had lost men. The Colombian Police had lost men. You were just praying that you hadn't. 

Javier Peña and Steve Murphy were still out there. You had no idea if they were okay. They could be shot, bleeding out. Kidnapped. Or worse. 

No. 

You're driving yourself insane thinking of all the possible worse case scenarios. Your mind can't help but go there. It's instinct. 

You're sat waiting. Hoping. Praying. You've made your home at Javi and Steve's desks - they're more central to the action than your own. You're watching the front doors, sat in Javi's chair. It smells like cigarette smoke, and musk, and him. You let the familiar scent envelope you, allowing it to bring you comfort. You breathe him in. He'll be here soon. You know he will.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Javier Peña was a complicated man. An enigma. He was tough, but gentle. Rugged, but tender. Commanding, but reserved. He was one big juxtaposition. Impossible to read. 

Or so he thought. 

You came along, and challenged every single one of his existing beliefs. You turned him soft - more understanding, more empathetic. He'll tell you he hates it. He lies. 

You weren't supposed to be here. Not really. You'd followed your brother, a DEA agent, all the way from Texas to Colombia. He'd told you he was being sent to South America to assist with the Pablo Escobar situation, and you'd packed your bags without a second thought. You had no one else. Wherever he goes, you go. Except one place. 

He'd died two months into the job. Shot dead by Escobar's men, in a situation that he shouldn't have even been in. And all of a sudden, you were alone. Alone in an unfamiliar place. Alone in the world. 

Javier made sure that wasn't true. He took you under his wing like an injured baby bird, slowly but surely nursing you back to health. He'd been there, when Carrillo had told you the fate of your brother. He'd caught you in his arms when your knees had given out, held you like he was scared you were going to shatter into a thousand pieces. He was holding you together. He has been, ever since. 

You were just a secretary. The odd one out. The only woman. Looked down on. People pitied you, really. You heard the things they said. Even if you didn't understand, you heard. You could take a guess. 

The world was a terrifying place for a woman. It was a terrifying place in general. But it seemed to be less scary knowing that Javier and Steve were at their desks just across the precinct every day. Your safety blankets. Your protectors. Which is exactly why the thought of losing either of them was currently ripping you apart from the inside out.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Your eyes shot up every time the door opened. Slowly but surely, members of the Search Bloc filtered in - many of them bloody, and injured, but alive. You weren't taking your eyes off the entrance to the precinct. Not for a second. Not when any minute, Peña and Murphy could walk in, and everything would be okay again. Any minute now, you reassure yourself. Any minute now. 

You hear steel toe boots on the linoleum floor, and your breath hitches… but it’s Colonel Carrillo. He spots you from across the room and strides over, ignoring any pleas for his attention from the Search Bloc guys. He envelopes you in a hug - professionalism be damned.

“Are you okay?”, you ask when he pulls back. “What happened? I’ve been going insane listening over the radio.”

“I’m okay, mi amor. We’re still trying to figure out what went wrong. He knew, someone had to have told him.”

You’re just about to ask him about Murphy and Peña when he says,

“We got separated in the chaos. I don’t know where they are, but I’m sure they’re fine. Try not to panic, okay?”

He’s looking at you carefully, and you’re nodding, but you know you aren’t going to take his advice. If anything, now you’re panicking more. Men are filtering through the door every minute, but none of them are the two you’re looking for. Anxiety creeps into your stomach, wraps its claws around your insides. You can’t shake it. You feel like you’re being swallowed by dread - it’s all too familiar. You know exactly what it’s like to have someone you love go into the field and not return.

Carrillo strokes your cheekbone with his thumb gently, and leaves to attend to his men. You sit back down in Javi’s chair, trying to burrow into his scent, the warmth of the leather. You can imagine his big strong arms wrapping themselves around you, the way he nuzzles his nose into the crown of your head when he hugs you, how he traces patterns on your back when he holds you when you’re particularly upset. 

You think about Steve, and the way he winks at you when you catch eye contact across the room, or how he throws an arm around your shoulders whenever he sidles over to your desk to bother you. He’s always stealing candy from your top drawer, and then acting innocent when you call him out on it. You feign annoyance, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. You know you’re lucky to have the two of them looking out for you. You know you’re lucky to have Carrillo on your side too - life would be undoubtedly more difficult without his protection. They make you feel less vulnerable, more equal. You no longer feel like a lamb at the slaughter every time you walk into work. 

Drops of water hit your lap, and you realize you’re crying. Warm, wet tears slide down your cheeks, taking streaks of your mascara with them. Your lipstick has smudged where you’ve been peeling at the skin of your lips, and your nail polish has been incessantly picked at for hours. You know you look just as much of a mess on the outside as you feel on the inside. You close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Calm down, you tell yourself. You’d know if something bad had happened to them. You’d feel it. 

It’s as if time has become molten - sticky, warm molasses. Minutes feel like hours. The world is moving in slow motion, and it’s making you dizzy. Your breath is coming in short, sharp pants, and the urge to curl up into a ball grows stronger by the second. If the boys don’t show up soon, you’re convinced you’re going to crumble into a thousand pieces. You feel like you’re shattering, splitting apart at the seams. Fear sits on your chest like an ugly, relentless creature, choking you with each passing minute. The world is getting colder, darker, and you’re defenseless.

And just like that, your sun appears. Battered, bruised, bloody, but alive. Standing in the doorway, panting and breathless, is Javier Peña. Before you can register what’s happening, you’re leaping out of his chair, and practically running to close the distance between you. You collide with the solid mass of a man, and he wraps his arms around you like it’s second nature. He smells like cigarettes and musk and gunpowder and the outdoors and smoke and home. Relief fills your body, and the weight of it almost knocks you off your feet. You settle further into his chest like you belong there, pressing your nose into him and inhaling. 

You pull away, and notice that his chest is damp. The tears from before are back with a vengeance, sprinting their way down your cheeks, forming puddles wherever they can reach. You’re not sure if you’re crying due to happiness, or fear, or relief - perhaps a mixture of all three. You’re both still panting, looking at each other in disbelief. You fist your hands into the front of his shirt, as if to ground yourself to him. Checking he’s real. In the flesh.

“Don’t cry, cariño. I’m here. I’m okay. We’re okay.” 

He’s murmuring quietly to you, as if you’re the only two people in the room. He reaches out, and gently uses his thumbs to swipe away the tears that are still escaping. Cradling your face in his big, calloused hands, he looks at you earnestly.

“I’ll always come back, bonita. You know I will. Just like I promised.”

He presses his forehead to yours, and for the first time in hours, you relax. You stay pressed together like that for what feels like an eternity, until you hear familiar footsteps approaching. 

You break away from Javier to get a good look at Steve. He too is battered and bruised - hair mussed, shirt torn, blood staining his jeans and his hands. But he’s alive. That’s all that matters.

“Murphy,” you breathe, before wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. You’d go out there and take down Escobar yourself if you could. If it meant you didn’t have to see your friends in pain anymore. This job is killing you all from the inside out, slowly but surely. You’re all shells of yourselves. You wonder how much longer you’re all going to be able to cope before you snap. You have a feeling that these two men in front of you are closer to their breaking points than you think. 

“God, I need to shower. I’ve never sweat this much in my life,” Steve remarks, and now that you’re looking at him, you can’t help but agree. You nod, smirk etched on your face, and the corners of his lips turn up. A slight smile from Steve. That’s a win.

A voice rumbles from behind you in response to Murphy’s statement. Jesus, Javi was closer to you than you thought.

“Yeah, me too. You go. I’ll drive her home.” He places a hand on the small of your back, and you can feel the warmth of him seeping through his palm.  He always runs so hot, you think to yourself. Your sun.

Murphy squeezes your arm and heads out the door, leaving you and Javier standing in the middle of the precinct. Everyone seems to be heading home, the room becoming increasingly quiet. You figure the two of you should follow suit. You gesture at Javi to give you a minute, and make your way over to the Colonel’s office, popping your head in the doorway. 

“You should go home, Carrillo,” you say softly. “You need to sleep just as much as the rest of us.”

He smiles at you tentatively, his face dampened with worry. You can see clear as day that he’s blaming himself for the events of the evening. You also know that there’s nothing you can say to make it better.

“I will, querida. I will.”

And with that, you grab your things from your desk, and make your way over to where Javi is waiting for you. He returns his hand to the small of your back, and guides you to his car.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

Your hands are shaking when you try to unlock the front door to your apartment. You can’t quite get the key in the lock, and it’s becoming frustrating. Why are you acting like you were the one being shot at tonight? All you had to do was sit at your desk and wait. Get a grip, you tell yourself. You’ve had it the easiest.

Javi can see you’re struggling, so he reaches out and opens the door for you. You step inside, immediately kicking off your heels and throwing down your purse. You turn on the lamp in the corner of the living room, and draw the blinds. All the while, Javi stands in the doorway, watching you complete your nightly rituals. It’s disarming to see you like this, he thinks. So domestic. So at peace.

He clears his throat awkwardly, and places his hand on the doorknob.

“Let me leave you alone, cariño. You need to rest. The adrenaline of tonight is going to wear off any minute, and we’re all gonna crash.”

He takes a step, but you lunge forward in his direction to stop him.

“Wait! Wait. I - I don’t… I can’t - please.” You can’t find the right words. In fact, you’re not even sure what you’re asking for.

He steps back inside your apartment, and shuts the door behind him gently, making sure to lock the deadbolt. He’s never been a man to take stupid chances when it comes to your safety. When it comes to you.

“What is it, mi amor?”, he asks carefully. “What do you need?”

“You,” you answer without a second thought. “Please don’t leave. I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight if you leave.”

He looks at you for a moment - carefully surveying. He takes in your appearance, the pain in your eyes, the way you look so small and fearful standing in front of him. It’s not even a question.

He kicks off his boots, and takes his wallet and his cigarettes out from the back pocket of his jeans, placing them on the counter. Then, he strides over, across the room, and smothers you in a hug that he’s convinced he probably needs more than you. 

You stand like that, embraced in each other, for what feels like forever. Two people breathing each other in, trying to absorb the other person. If you could crawl into Javier’s chest, bury yourself into his ribcage, you would. No hug is ever close enough. Never enough. It’s never enough.

“I’ll stay,” he murmurs into your hair. “I’ll always stay.”

You pull back to gaze into those big brown eyes, warm and sweet like chocolate. He looks serene, peaceful, almost. You don’t get to see him like this very often.

“You should shower,” you tell him quietly. You’re worried that you’re going to spook one another, so you both keep the volume to a minimum. “I’ll make us some tea.”

He nods gently, and makes his way to your bathroom. Moments later, you hear the water running, so you begin to boil the kettle, reaching for two mugs from your cabinet.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

You place a mug of tea on each nightstand either side of your bed, and slip out of your skirt and blouse. You opt for a tank top and shorts - the Colombian heat still unrelenting, even in the early hours of the morning. The sun will be up soon, you think. A new day.

Javi stands in the doorway of your bathroom with a towel slung low on his hips. Droplets of water are journeying down his chest, and your eyes follow, as if on instinct. He smirks when he catches you, watching your face heat up slightly.

“Cute bedsheets,” he remarks. “I like the love hearts.”

He’s still smirking, so you get up to smack him on the arm.

“Shut up, Javier,” you threaten, with no real malice. “Your tea is on the nightstand.”

You turn your back when he changes back into his black boxers, which only amuses him further. He can’t help but admire you from his place across the room. The way your hair blows slightly with the breeze from the opened window, the band of skin between where your tank top ends and your shorts begin, the sweat at the nape of your neck. He knows you’d taste like salt and sugar simultaneously. It takes everything in him not to run his tongue up your spine. You shiver from your spot on the edge of the bed, as if you can read his mind.

“I’m dressed, querida,” he almost whispers. You turn around, and shamelessly let your eyes rake over his golden skin, wishing so badly to reach out and touch him. He’s wearing significantly less clothes than you expected. Not that you’re complaining.

He lays down carefully on one side of your bed, stretching himself out on his back. You turn off the lamp on the nightstand, and lay down on the other side, careful to keep some distance between the two of you. You thought that having him here would relax you, but it seems to be doing the opposite. You feel like your nerve endings are on fire - the room is too warm, you can’t seem to get your lungs to fill with air, you’re hyper aware of every little movement in the room. You’re on edge.

Javi’s breathing is deep, calculated. He’s trying to keep calm. Everything in him is screaming to reach out and touch you, to throw an arm around your waist, to tangle his legs in between yours. He’s not sure he’s ever shown this level of self control.

“Javi,” you breathe. “Relax, please. I can feel how tense you are from here.”

He takes a deep breath before he answers you.

“Sorry, mi vida. I’m just - I’m… I’m trying.”

“Trying?”

“Trying to use every inch of restraint that I have.”

Your breath hitches, and he hears it, clear as day.

“What for?” you whisper.

“To resist the urge to touch you.”

You’re breathing quicker now, and so is he. The air in the room is thick with tension - it’s a miracle you’re both still conscious. 

“You’ve never really been one to deny yourself of the things you want, Javi," you whisper. "You’re not usually the patron saint of self control.” 

And with that, he snaps. He grabs your hips, and uses effortless strength to pull you so you’re straddling him, settled in his lap. He sits up to bring your faces level, and presses his forehead into yours, just like he did mere hours ago in the precinct. 

You know that tonight has changed everything for the two of you. You also know there’s no going back from this - you can’t uncross this line. The friendship that exists between you and Javi, a relationship that’s been so carefully built on trust and support and boundaries - permanently altered if you continue. You just can’t seem to find it in you to care. Not really. You want Javier Peña for all he is, all he has. Consequences be damned.

“I love you, cariño,” he breathes into your mouth. “Fuck, I love you.”

You’re convinced that any minute, you’re going to wake up from this beautiful dream. But for now, you make the most of it.

“I love you, Javier Peña. I love you so much it hurts.”

And with that, he’s kissing you. It’s desperate, and it’s needy, and it’s so full of love you’re worried that you’re going to pass out. His lips are on your lips, and he’s got one hand firmly at the nape of your neck, holding you in place. As if I’m going anywhere, you think. I’d happily stay here forever.

You’re so lost in each other that you don’t notice the sunrise. Dawn hits the window, casting an orange hue across the room. Javi looks like he’s glowing, the sunlight glinting off his hair. Golden boy.

He pulls off your shirt, and presses his chest to yours. He’s convinced you’re tethered to each other - he can feel the connection through your skin. It almost makes him want to cry, this feeling. It’s never felt like this before. It never will again. 

You wrap your arms around his neck, and your legs around his waist, ensuring that there isn’t a centimeter of space between you. You don’t know what today holds. You know it won’t be easy. But you’re comforted by the fact that you know Javi will be right there beside you. No matter what happens from this moment on, Javi is always going to be right there beside you.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” you breathe into his mouth.

“I love you, mi alma,” he breathes back. “Mi corazón, mi alma.”

My heart, my soul. It’s as if he took the words right out of your mouth. 

Mi corazón, mi alma.

My heart, my soul.

#javier peña #javi pena #javier pena x you #narcos #pedro pascal #javier pena fic #javier pena x reader #javier peña x reader #javier peña x ofc #javier peña x y/n #javier peña x you #steve murphy #javier peña fic #javier Peña x oc #fluff #reader insert #narcos fic #narcos x reader #steve murphy x reader #horatio carillo x reader #fanfic #pedro pascal x reader #female reader #javier peña smut #javier Peña x reader smut #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #joel miller x reader

[cuubism]

I'd love something about Dream who's very aware that he's way too intense romantically while also being not intense enough sexually because he's ace. His partners usually prefer it the other way around. If that's something you'd be willing to write (if not that's okay too)

hmm yes, we can always do ace dream. though we didn't quite reach 'aware' 😂 human uni au is what popped to my mind

--

When Hob gets back from class, Dream is lying facedown on the couch, one long arm trailing morosely down to the floor, face smashed so deeply into a pillow that Hob can only see the tufts of his hair. He seems to have been there for some time, and doesn't move when Hob comes in.

"Horrors insurmountable today?" Hob asks as he puts down his bag and heads to the adjoining kitchen to grab a snack. He'll probably need to grab one for Dream, too, now that he thinks about it. Doubtful he's eaten.

Dream just makes an mmph sound against his pillow. Then, once Hob's returned to the living room with a plate of apple slices, Dream pops his head up, lines all over his cheek from the pillow, fluffy hair going every which way, and says, "How much do you care about sex?"

Hob nearly trips and flings his apple slices everywhere. "What?"

"In general," Dream persists, heedless of Hob's shock. "Do you subscribe to the belief that individuals past puberty, particularly men, think about sex constantly, or is that an exaggeration? Which do you think is more important in a partnership: compatible personalities, or compatible sex drives? And why?"

"What is this, a sociology assignment?"

"Answer, please," Dream insists.

Hob sighs and gives in to the mad questioning. Joke's on him for having an insane roommate. "I thought about sex all the time when I was thirteen, maybe. Right now I'm just thinking about how I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm fucking starving but we're playing Twenty Questions instead of eating. And as to the second one, I don't know, Dream, I think both are probably important."

"So you think about sex an amount you would consider 'frequent'," Dream presses.

Hob's cheeks heat. Sex is not really a topic he wants to discuss with Dream of all people. Those two thoughts don't meld together into anything good for polite company. "I don't know, I guess!? Doesn't everyone?"

Dream lets out a despairing wail and thumps his head back into his pillow. "I am outnumbered."

Hob still has no idea what the hell he's on about. He finally gives up and just starts eating the apple slices. He offers one to Dream, holding it by the corner of his eye until he finally sees it and takes it, turns his head to the side just enough to start nibbling on it.

"You'll choke if you eat that lying down," Hob warns.

Dream begrudgingly pushes himself up, collapsing against the back of the couch, and goes back to nibbling on his apple slice.

"So," Hob continues, awkwardly, when Dream doesn't say anything else, "sex life not going so well, then?"

Dream glares at him, though it's not very intimidating considering the apple halfway into his mouth. "Too well, by most standards," he finally sniffs, and eats the rest of the slice.

"Oh, yeah?" Dream having sex is another thing Hob doesn't really like to think about. Why'd he bring that up again?

"Indeed. I have suitors falling over each other to bed me," Dream says.

Do all classic literature students talk the way Dream does? Hob doesn't know. It's been two years that they've lived together and he's still yet to definitively figure out if it's an affectation or just the way Dream is. He's leaning towards the latter.

Unfortunately, he can believe Dream's statement. Dream is a snitty little prick most of the time, but he's also unbearably beautiful.

"So what's the problem, then?" he asks.

"I don't want them to bed me," Dream says.

Hob's not following. "Say no, then?"

Dream rolls his eyes. "I don't want them to bed me, I want them to want me." His voice loses some of its determination halfway through the sentence, and he looks away.

Ouch. "Sounds like they do want you?"

Dream snorts. "Only so long as it suits them. Only so long as I fit their parameters. Today I spoke to Cori--"

Ah, yes, Cori, Dream's most recent ex-boyfriend. Dream's had a lot of ex-boyfriends, but Cori really tops the list, and not in a good way.

Now that Hob thinks about it, all of Dream's relationships kind of go the same way. Dream comes home after the first date bouncing off the walls with stars in his eyes insisting this person's the one, and within two months the thing's somehow torpedoed into the Underworld and Hob's scraping Dream up off the bathroom floor.

He's starting to see where the initial line of questioning might have come from.

"--and he, at last, was straightforward with me when no one else has bothered to be all this time. I demanded to know, truthfully, why he ended things, and he told me that I 'care too much, but won't put out'--"

Hob winces.

"--which does not make sense, as we had sex frequently? I do not know what else I am meant to be 'putting' and where. I said as much, and he laughed, and said--" he imitates Cori's voice with a surprisingly passable American accent-- "'It only counts if you at least pretend you want to be there, doll. Next time try initiating occasionally.' He left before I could question him further."

Hob doesn't like the picture this is painting. And Dream is looking at him beseechingly, like Hob might be able to explain the bizarre encounter. "So... now you're trying to figure out if your understanding of sex is wrong or something?"

"I felt that, as a neutral observer to the situation, you would be appropriate to survey," Dream says.

(Neutral is a stretch, Hob thinks.)

"So I ask you, Hob Gadling, as a man demonstrably unbothered by 'hookup culture'--"

"Are you calling me a slut?"

"--what do you think is the correct amount that one should care about sex? Because I--" he breaks off, twisting his fingers in his hair, suddenly anxious-- "I do not know what I am doing wrong."

Hob moves to sit beside him, lays a hand lightly on his arm. He's about to say, you're not doing anything wrong, except... that may not precisely be true. At least in terms of how Dream is actually handling it with his partners.

"How much do you care about sex?" he asks.

"Not as much as I am supposed to, evidently," Dream says. Hob just waits for him to elaborate. "Not very much. I prefer not to think about it." He looks at Hob, weary. "Now you will tell me that this is abnormal."

"I don't know what's 'normal'," Hob says. "But it does sound different from how Cori felt about it."

"I suppose," Dream says, sadly.

Hob doesn't particularly like where the intersection of 'I don't care about sex' and 'we had sex all the time' lands him. "If you don't care that much, why keep doing it?"

"It is what is done, is it not?" says Dream. "Besides. I do not mind so much. But even when I do participate, it is still not good enough. Or so it seems."

It's because they're picking up on the fact that you're not really enjoying it, Hob thinks. No one wants a partner who's not engaging. Least not anyone decent. But not saying anything and then just dipping out suddenly is kind of a dickish move, in his opinion.

"Do you want to participate?" he asks.

This seems to give Dream pause. "Mostly I would prefer to do other things. Like. Dates. Only that does not seem much appreciated either." He twists his hands together. "Perhaps Cori is right. I. Care too much."

"No." Hob takes Dream's hands and untwists them. "Cori's a dickhead. You just need to find someone who's on the same page as you, that's all."

"But it seems that book is rather empty," Dream says. He hasn't taken his hands back from Hob.

"Well, was there anyone that you did like having sex with? Or has it always just been--" he can't help but cringe-- "you just putting up with it because you thought you were supposed to?"

"Calliope," Dream says instantly, and Hob lets out a relieved breath. At least it's not all bad. "Because, no matter that it ended poorly... I felt that she truly liked me. And not. Just sex."

"Okay, see?" he says. "You just have to find someone like that."

It... hurts, to try to push Dream into someone else's path. But Hob's long accepted that Dream doesn't feel that way about him. Dream rarely seems hesitant about trying to date anyone he is interested in. Surely if he felt that way about Hob, he would have made it clear by now.

"Someone," Dream echoes, looking down at their joined hands.

"Just because what you want isn't common doesn't mean it's not out there," Hob says, trying to be encouraging. "And hey, if you know now, you can avoid the whole 'not on the same page' rigamarole, hm?"

"Yes," Dream says. "I suppose so." Finally he takes back his hands, instead taking another apple slice from the plate Hob's left on the coffee table and chewing on it slowly.

I would love you right, Hob thinks, unwanted, unbidden. It's not a productive thought, and it's a painful one, too.

"Perhaps I will take a break," Dream decides, though doesn't sound entirely happy about it.

"Could be good," Hob says. "Get your head on right."

"Yes," Dream agrees. "This has been. Illuminating. I thank you for your counsel. I suppose I will have to also thank Cori, 'dickhead' though he may be."

And with that he retreats to his room, still seeming a little off-kilter. And Hob can't help but feel like he's gone wrong somewhere, said something wrong, though he doesn't know where, or what.

#i don't actually know if you specifically wanted dreamling or what whoops #dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #my writing #ask #anonymous #ace dream #left it on a cliffhanger goddammit but they just didn't seem emotionally aware enough to confess their feelings then XD

[crypticandmachiavellianaugustine]

I Can See You

Eris Vanserra x human!Reader

Summary: Y/N is working late when her mate decides to show up.

Warnings: smut 18+, oral (f receiving)

First time writing smut, I was bored and procrastinating preparing my exams, so sorry if it's too horrible. Also English is not my first nor my second, not even my third language, in short I apologise for eventual mistakes.

_______

It was a peculiar thing, Y/N was willing to admit, her belief in all things magical.

A gush of wind was the world caressing her hair with a nonexistent loving hand. The sea was a parent and a guardian, mending her broken heart whenever she felt helpless and lonely. A storm was a scream of freedom and every animal was her friend. And every forest, every thorn covered bush, belonged to the faeries.

With a shiver of horror she remembered that every dust covered library belonged to the ghosts.

It was late and Y/N was putting away some books in their rightful places. She preferred completing her tasks late at night, when the library was empty and the moonlight shined through the stained glass of the large windows.

For some time now her belief in magic had been replaced by a frightening and incumbent truth. A world opened by cleaver hands and the most incredible eyes she had ever seen.

She could feel him watching her in the shadows and a primordial human instinct warned her to be afraid, but he was no ghost. Y/N could see the outlines of her mate behind one of the shelves when she passed by. Mate. A word that in her human hears sounded almost wrong, almost too animalistic for what she felt. But she could feel it by the tread of gold that tied their souls together that they were, indeed, mates. She preferred referring to him in other ways, words that she found sweeter. Lover. Beloved. Husband.

The last one had been recently added when in the middle of the night a few weeks before they had decided to get married immediately, the human way, so that her anxious mind could be eased and her self doubts extinguished.

Eris knew exactly how to ease her worries and anxieties before they even presented themselves, and Y/N loved to taunt him for it, to laugh at her prince from a magical land who fought bravely against all of her demons.

Y/N climbed a ladder to put away an ancient tome of history when she felt her mate's fingers gently caressing one of her legs, tracing her ankle and calf in a way that never failed to make her lose her mind, no matter which part of her body he decided to submit to that delicate torture. Eris' hand stopped barely over her knee and his fingers grabbed the soft flesh of her thigh. Y/N could feel her face burning up and she could vividly imagine the insufferable glint of satisfaction that she knew was shining in his amber eyes. Her reactions to his touch never failed to inflate his already enormous ego and she was always ready to humble him a little, when they were alone in her apartment. Part of her suspected that he found her humbling even more pleasurable than her reactions.

Y/N rolled her eyes in a showcase of false annoyance before going down the ladder and offering him her bothered look in all of its force.

Immediately Eris' lips were on hers, kissing her voraciously as if that was the moment he had waited for the most all day. Y/N was no less eager to finally have her love all for herself, in the darkness of the silent library and definitely later in her little apartment that had become the secret sanctuary of their love.

Y/N's fingers were playing with his hair, gently tugging the fiery strands, action that had earned her a silent murmur from Eris. She chuckled lightly and, still gently, finished the kiss with a bite on his lips.

Eris started attacking her neck with kisses in response and Y/N could not hold back a frustrated and contented sigh.

"You are a nightmare," uttered Y/N gasping when he left a trail of kisses and bites along her shoulder.

"And I love you too, little librarian," whispered Eris biting her shoulder with a little bit of more force before winnowing them to her apartment and quickly getting rid of her dress. He then made her sit on the table and kneeled down, starting to kiss her inner thighs and sinking his teeth into the soft flesh, earning a few sighs from Y/N who had started to play with his hair.

It had become a bit of a habit for him, to get rid of the stress and frustrations caused by a day at Court by pleasuring her. And being with his head between her soft and thick thighs happened to be one of Eris' favourite ways of ending the day.

Y/N gasped when his tongue met the bundle of nerves that was already eagerly expecting the relief only he was capable of making her feel. He went for it without his usual exasperating teasing.

Eris groaned when Y/N's hands started to be rougher in playing with his hair, sign that he was succeeding in making her lose her ever present composure.

Y/N no longer held back and moaned shamelessly as he continued to pleasure her, savouring her as if he was starving and she was the most delicious fruit he had ever tasted.

"Eris..." she whispered desperately when pleasure washed over her, overwhelming her senses and making her lay there, on her kitchen table, utterly satisfied and with all her defences defeated.

He was immediately over her with his customary smug grin, picking her up and giving her a tender kiss.

They both knew that their night was just getting started.

#eris vanserra #eris x reader #eris vanserra x reader #eris vanserra x y/n #eris vanserra x you #eris x y/n #eris acotar #eris x you #eris vanserra smut #eris vanserra x plus size reader

[thecameronchronicles]

Shark Tooth Necklace

TW: Severe angst (all the feels). Language. Cheating. Smut. 

SUMMARY: The effect of your gift to JJ remains even after you've broken up…

WORD COUNT: 3500

*ORIGINAL CONCEPT*

Shark Tooth Necklace

It became a statement the same way his dimples, lighter, and rebellious reputation wore over him like a second skin. An accompaniment to which you use to be a part of up until six weeks ago when you found the attention of a Kook following an argument JJ had come to regret since it transpired. It haunted him for the words he spoke, and more importantly, the ones he hasn't. And yet, he kept the evidence of his care for you tucked beneath the curve of his shirts in the belief he could keep a piece of you close. Even if it hurt like hell…

TWO MONTHS AGO

As if the wood making up the floor of the screened in porch had been blistering, your feet danced over the surface as you came to your boyfriend lounging in one of the chairs set for such inactivity. The excitement of a child bouncing down the steps in a similar gait on Christmas morning pulled his attention from his lighter as he illuminated to the joy across your face. 

"I have something for you…" His brows lifted as his eyes descended. That lecherous glance he always gave you in the broadcast of his perpetual desire. 

"Then why are you still dressed?" He teased while pulling you into his lap. But upon doing so, the small drawstring bag hidden in your palm was brought to him. 

"Sure you've got the right pogue, princess?" He taunted to the color of the bag having been a light pink. 

"Just open it…" You whined, having tried to wait until his birthday, but found every day a struggle. 

"I made it…from the rocks we used to skip at the pond near Rixton's Cove…" He poured the contents of a necklace to his palm, his face plagued with disbelief. 

JJ was rather particular to the jewelry he wore. Gaudy rings set over sporadic fingers as you were often the recipient to the chills it allowed, and yet, this was something you'd chosen specifically for him. 

"The chord is from the guitar that broke the night…" You hesitated, remembering a dinner night caused by his father that was sweetened by your presence. It wasn't even that next week until you were officially titled as his possession. But the details of that night no longer mattered to the beautiful adornment he held to catch the sun. 

"It's layered so it won't wear…"

A sable black shark tooth necklace, the perfect length as it came short just before his clavicle.

"If you don't like it-" 

"I love it…" he moved closer to you as you bounced on his lap. 

"Really? I tried to wait and I just couldn't…I almost told you about a hundred times and it was burning a hole in my back pocket-" He shook his head to one of your infamous nervous ramblings as he kissed you. 

"Do you really like it, J?" 

"I'll never take it off…" he confessed as he tried to set the string over his head before you corrected him and tied it perfectly stilled. 

"Maybe I had an ulterior motive…" You divulged why tracing the new necklace over his naked chest. Your fingers tempting a southern descent as your eyes widened to the tones physique you were never able to be tired of. 

"Oh?" 

"It does work for leverage…" You hooked two fingers around the strong chord and used it to guide him to the bench beneath you, his weight pinning you softly as your lips touched in a silent promise of a small forever. 

"I love it." His eyes remained to yours as if speaking the words to you and not your gift. But they were words he hadn't spoken. Not only to you. To anyone. At least aside from a joke when discussing the other pogues. But never when it made him vulnerable. And never when he had so much to lose. 

Since that day, he wore it with pride as a woman would wear an engagement ring. It was his favorite accessory up until the night your relationship crumbled. 

"JJ-" You ridiculed his name alone as he took the contents over John B's dresser and forced them to the ground. 

"You can't tell me you didn't fucking notice-"

"I didn't!"

"You're too smart to be that dumb. EVERY guy wants you-"

"So what if they do? I don't care!"

"You get off on it don't you? All that attention? Everyone wanting to get in your shorts…Maybe I can tell them all it takes is a few compliments and a blunt-" Your hand came to his cheek, an immediate regret as you knew his father had done the same the night before. It was why you'd forgiven the way he bloodied the Kook's face who got a bit too handsy for his liking. And even if he knew you were devoted to him, the frailty of his already weathered emotions had made this his final straw. 

"I love you, JJ." The words came out as a surprise to you both. It was a confession neither had stated until now. But it did not warrant the reaction you'd hoped for. No kiss or embrace. Instead, it seemed to be disappointment. Fear even. But anger still residing as his lead emotion. 

"That's just too goddamn bad." He finally responded after an endless silence. 

"If I go, JJ…I won't come back…not after that…I've been here…I've been the one here…" You reminded with tears streaking down your cheeks. 

"I don't want you here…" He shrugged. 

"You're…this isn't you…" 

"Maybe I'm just tired of watching my girlfriend pawed on anytime we go to a party and you doing next to nothing to stop it…" 

"Well you don't have to worry about it anymore…I'm not your girlfriend to be pawed over." You slammed the bedroom door, pushing last Kiara and Sarah as they heard enough of the argument to cast glares to JJ who followed behind. But it would be his pride and stubbornness that kept him from chasing after you. 

And he had come to regret it ever since. 

"Should have told us you were going out, would have waxed my board last night…" John B greeted your new boyfriend as they had been acquaintances during JJ's downward spiral and had since become a friend. A decent Kook with more common sense than a means to fit in with the princes of the Outer Banks, he fit in with the pogues well. 

Everyone but JJ who stared at him as if his looks could truly kill. 

"Probably couldn't keep up…" JJ teased as your eyes narrowed. Despite the cruel words and messy breakup, he seemed almost indifferent since that night. Almost as if you'd never dated. Aside from these twinges of jealousy of course. Yet you write it off as it being a part of his sarcasm as he had done it to Pogue and John B as well, but there was something a bit colder if he had done it to your boyfriend. 

This specific afternoon was no exception as you were on the HMS Pogue. A small vessel in its own right, it was spacious enough to keep a distance. And yet with JJ making it worse on everyone, it seems ni larger than the door in which Jack was arguably denied in the Atlantic ocean in "Titanic"

"Never teach you how to fish on Figure Eight?" He would begin the insults lightly. Almost as a term of endearment as he turned right around and teased Pope for choosing literature over nature, as he often did. But then they became personal. 

"I remember when we were together and you liked to hold my pole just right-" And even as Kiara nudged him, he wore a smile of pride in knowing he made you and your new beau uncomfortable. 

But it wasn't until you reached land, the boat tied off by Sarah and your boyfriend as Pope, John B, and JJ made their way inside The Chateau. You hadn't meant to follow them, but absentmindedly took the steps behind their trail and came upon the argument you were never meant to hear. 

"I don't even know why she's still here?! She's Sarah's friend-NOT my girlfriend anymore. And I still have to see her almost every fucking day!"

"Pogues for life…" Pope attempted to remind him. 

"She isn't a goddamn pogue anymore than HE is…"

"JJ-" John B attempted to stop him as he saw you on the other side of the screen door leading to the docks you'd just come from. 

"You know what…fine…you all want to keep her around, that's fine…but don't come complaining to me…there's a reason I'm not with her anymore-" He turned to leave, tears in your eyes as he pushed past you. 

"He's just-" Pope began as he tried to console you. 

"JJ…" John B finished the sentence as you slowly nodded. Until now, you'd hoped for civility, if anything. Maybe even he'd find someone else…a thought that razored and scorched your heart to think of, but you believe it was only fair. Even if he wasn't JJ, he was dependable and stable. 

But he still wasn't JJ. Your reckless, passionate-

No. He was not yours anymore. You corrected yourself to think of him in only past tense. It was best that way for everyone. 

Later that night while around a new fire, JJ was sulking on the rival side of the flames. It was debated from whatever angle one sat that he was more enraged that the embers aglow as a core for the group as stories and tales did nothing to alter this. He was fixated on the fire. 

"Truth or dare?" Kiara groaned as Sarah called excitedly. 

"Finally some fun!" 

"We were having fun.." John B defended as Sarah rolled her eyes. 

"Me first! Kie-" She proceeds to dare Kiara to do a keg stand, to which she excelled. John B asked Pope to recite Shakespeare naked, to which he convinced his boxers would suffice, and your boyfriend asked Sarah a truth of her biggest regret, which she named as a single ex. 

"Truth or Dare…" JJ asked you as you tensed. The sudden mischief on his expression was worrisome in contrast to the point he wore the earlier duration of the day. 

"Truth…" he scoffed as you'd taken the safest bet. 

"Do you love him?" For the group that usually came to your defense, they were all silent with curiosity. In truth, they believed you and JJ would find your way back to each other. Even wishing the same as you introduced your new boyfriend, who was annoyingly charismatic and likable. And for that reason alone, nobody interfered for your answer. 

"I…" You looked at your boyfriend. 

"It's early…and there's A love-" Your boyfriend answered for you. 

"But do you love him? The way you did me?" 

"JJ-" Sarah now warned as tears filled your eyes. 

"No…I mean, if she doesn't want to answer it, she can always do a dare instead…" 

"Fine then…dare…" you countered. 

"Kiss him. Like you used to with me. Sitting across my lap…feeling how hard you made me-"

"Okay…" John B reached for JJ's beer and arm before he stood up. 

"The way you pulled on my necklace when you wanted me on top and clawed on my chest when you were…Oh just wait, man…wait until she's on her knees and you'll be wondering how she can be so sweet with a throat like a wh-" Kiara now forced JJ into the Chateau as you had your face in your hands. 

"I'm so sorry…" You told your boyfriend as he tried to console you. And yet his touch was suddenly suffocating. 

"Maybe you should try to talk to him…"

"What?!"

"If we all keep hanging out, you're gonna have to see him. I think the tension needs to be-" He became distracted by his phone. 

"Shit, I gotta get back to Figure Eight before the boys find out I was here." He kisses your temple, abandoning you when you needed him most. The usual reliability always faltering when it came to being Rafe or Topper's right hand man. 

But as he left, you stormed in behind JJ. 

"What is your problem?!" 

"Maybe we should all cool down-" Sarah began before she was pulled away.

"Let them hash this out…it's been a long time coming…" John B led the group out of The Chateau. 

"Just don't break any of the pictures. The glass is hell to clean up-'" JJ glared. 

"Nothing's getting broken, because I'm not staying-"

But as he tried to leave, you couldn't help yourself. 

"Do what you do best and run away." You spoke the first hurtful thing that came to mind. It was enough to stop him in his tracks. 

"Last time I recalled being here alone with you and you were the one who left, sweetheart. Probably just couldn't wait to get back to him…"

"I would never have cheated on you! Him and I were together after us! Not even after you talked to me like that. No matter how insecure you were-"

"Insecure. No, princess, you've got it wrong. I knew my place with you. It was just under everyone else."

"What?! I always put you above everyone else! When my friends told me you would only hurt me, I told them they were wrong. I denied invitations to parties and made excuses for why you ruined the ones we did attend! Because I love you!" The present tense stilled him. 

"Loved-" You corrected as he took a step closer. 

"No no no..you said-"

"Because you make me crazy, JJ! I've tried to make it easy-"

"Easy?! Bringing your new fuck you around so you can rub it in my face is making it easy?!"

"I'm not…we're not-" You suddenly became defensive once again "But even if we we're, it doesn't pertain to you!" 

He moved even closer until you were directly in front of him. The only person you feared and craved in equal measure. 

"Everything you do "pertains" to me, cupcake…" As you went to speak he walked you to the wall directly beside the door. His body never touching yours and yet every nerve set on fire by his proximity alone. 

"Because dating or not, you're still my girl. You'll always be my girl-" he surprised you with the weight pinning you to the wall and the soft kiss reminding you of how sweet he could be. The direct kiss similar to the one you allowed now as you fell into the familiarity of how he excited you. Even in anger. Especially in anger. 

His hands were quick to rise from the wall to your hips as he walked you back to the couch, your calves greeting the edge for only a second before you were pushed flat to the cushions. 

"JJ-"

"I'm not stopping. Not after tonight. Not after knowing you don't love him and you still love me…" 

You tried to cease. His touch. His words. 

Him. 

But everything was intoxicating. Even as guilt weighed within your stomach, you couldn't fight this. You couldn't and didn't want to. 

"JJ…" He only kissed you into silence, his tongue reminding you of its strength as it coerced your own into submission against him. After only a moment of this French kiss, your shirt was lifted and disposed of and that same skilled tongue came to your nipples. 

"JJ!" You gasped. 

"That's how you should always say my name…Screaming for me, not at me…" He pinned your hands over your head before returning his grip to your breast. 

"Fuck, I missed your body…I miss how it missed me…" His secondary hand came into your panties, an elastic band of your shorts making it easy. 

"Please-"

"If you insist…" He angled you on the couch before lowering to his knees, kicking the table away so he could pull your legs over his shoulders. 

"Too bad he isn't here to hear how to make you come…God knows he could learn…" He dove into you, your body reacting immediately to the torturous flicks and sucks made of his technique. As you would begin to tremble for him, he would withdraw, edging you in repetition as you pulled his hair into disarray. 

"I want you in every fucking position to make up for the nights I should have…" he began at the arm of the couch, lifting you to a bend, before undressing behind you. Undressing so quickly that your guilt didn't have time to register before he was inside of you. 

"Fuck!" You belted to that identifiable plunge and width that was incomparable to anyone else. To worsen the seduction, he played with your nipples and clit in alteration, before pulling your hair until you were again this chest. 

"Does he touch you?"

No. You answered silently. 

"You're dripping for me like you haven't been touched since me…Was always so easy to make you come…" 

"JJ please…we can't." The cruel thrust he made were ended as he pulled you over him in a straddle on the couch. Your hands caught the back supporting him before he kept you in place with his own large grip. 

"I'm not letting you go. Not this time…" 

"What you said-"

"I was jealous as hell because everyone looks at you. Because guys like him get to. They deserve to…I want to. I want to deserve it." 

You looked away, the sight of your clothes making your expression sour. 

"I can't-"

"I love you." He spoke the words in a pained delay, as if he had been punched upon trying to speak each word aloud. 

"I should have said it that night but I'm saying it now. I love you." He spoke it again, this time with conviction. 

"Tell me you don't and I'll let you pretend to be happy with him. No more comments or cheap shots…" You searched through his lustful eyes for deceit. But if ever, he was the most authentic he had ever been. 

"I don't…" He exhaled in defeat, rising as you pressed your hand into his chest. 

"JJ…"

"No, I told you if you said…" 

"I wasn't finished…" his expression illuminated with hope. 

"I don't want to hurt anybody…" 

"Please tell me there's a 'but' in there…"

"But…I…I love you…" He scanned your entire expression. Looking for a moment in which you would falter or second guess your own confession. When it wasn't found, he sunk you onto him. 

"I love you…I love you…" The declaration faded into grunts as you kissed him once he'd struggled to speak. 

"I'll tell you every minute on the goddamn dot if necessary…" 

"Just show me…" You ignored the guilt and focused solely on the pleasure he allowed before reaching for his shirt. It was then that you saw it. Your motions slowing as you hooked two fingers beneath the chord of the necklace. 

"You kept it on…"

"Every day." He answered. "Even the ones that hurt…"

"JJ…"

"And I still will…Even if I fuck up again.." You used the necklace to pull him closer. 

"Just don't fuck up again. Just fuck me…" His lips parted into a parting of disbelief. 

"This is making love now, not fucking." 

"Then make love to me…" He lifted you slowly but pulled you down harder, his body reacting in accordance to your own. As you arched, he fell into you and when you fell he met you at the center. When he began to tire, he reclined and pulled you to follow him. 

"Fuck, I missed making you come, sweetheart…" 

"Then make me, JJ…please…" 

"Anything for you, princess." He pulled sensation from your body in which only he could. Caverns visited and inhibitions unlocked that only he could access as he had you moaning and screaming in alteration. 

"That's it baby…come for me…all over-" You clasped your hand over his mouth. 

"I know how to come, JJ…You're the only one who's ever made me…" He clenched his jaw before rolling his eyes, that confession pulling his own release. Your hips are sorely bruised against his own due to his impressive stamina as perspiration and ecstasy joined together in those final moments. Your names intertwined  at that final buck of his hips as he claimed you as his own once again. 

"My girl…" But as the bliss faded, your eyes fell to the side. 

"Whatever happens, I'm not going anywhere…And neither are you for the rest of the night…" 

"JJ, I have to…" 

"Forty three."

"What?"

"That's how many nights I could have had you here in my arms. In my bed. So I have a lot of orgasms to make up for…" 

"Forty three?! He nodded, lifting you around him and carrying you to the bedroom. 

"We'll start slow…"

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @drewspisces @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4tangerine @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @onmykneesforrafe @jjmaybanksangel @phildunphyisadilf @mashdan0916 @pankhoeforlife @pankowperfection

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#jjmaybank #jj maybank x reader #jjsmut #jj maybank smut #jj maybank #jj maybank fanfiction #outerbanks #outer banks smut #obx #obxsmut #obx fanfiction #outer banks #outerbanks smut #outer banks fanfiction #obx smut #obxfanfiction #rudy pankow

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 40 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | lesson 39

the end of an era (season 2)

normal and hard spoilers

oh baby :(

see every time i remember how sheltered diavolo is it makes me hate his father that much more. he grew up with everything in the world, but practically nobody to share it with.

diavolo had to have been smart enough to have caught onto the reason behind mephisto's attachment to him at an early age. he might be dense, but he's not stupid. even if he and mephisto did end up becoming really good friends, diavolo knew early on that their proximity was for business and royalty purposes only, and that friendship and a genuine relationship was second to their professional relationship

i feel like this is why he initially thought of the brothers as treasures in regard to status rather than as people, and the mindset shifted to seeing them as treasures in regards to the relationship he formed with them. he wanted genuine connection, but forming a professional connection before a genuine relationship was so deeply ingrained in him that he defaulted to it without even realizing it

...he can't be fucking serious

GET HIM OUT I BEG

he would've done this regardless of the option we picked during the angel's trial i hate it here...can't he take a class or smth instead of experimenting on us

i'm gonna kill him /j

i'm a whore in the game so i technically date everyone at once. but why does he NEVER say i love you back ????? not even in the first game ????????

like ok you're a time demon who shouldn't get attached to anyone and you choose to stay unattached bc you'll lose everyone anyways blah blah blah but at least indulge me a little bit 💔

SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY I LOVE THEM

i feel like they know this is their last goodbye yk? obviously barbatos does, but this feels very, very final on their part. maybe it's a different version the feeling they have when they go into mc's room, like they can feel mc being pulled away from them physically

what if the end of the lesson or the story in the hard part of the lesson is them portalling back to their timeline and the brothers getting a glimpse of their alternate selves? and then everything clicking into place after mc leaves?

the fact that simeon has as many doubts about his father's intentions as lucifer and his brothers did really solidifies my belief that he wanted to, in the worst case, fall with the brothers. and if he didn't fall, he'd at least have begged for answers as much as lucifer did before the war. he was demoted after the war for helping the brothers in canon, and i feel like he still beats himself up about it because of the side he chose. him and raphael both, but raphael is better at hiding it

(i have a whole post about simeon and michael before the war here)

i've said this about a million times but...

the brothers ever 🫶🏽

they're such shitheads but also extremely concerned i love their dynamic sm

SEE I TOLD YOU ‼️ HE MASKS HIS FEAR WITH ANGER (even though i'm pretty sure this was confirmed in canon in the og game and in nb s1)

him admitting that he was scared though? putting his pride aside and actually talking about his feelings for once? this is proof of how much he trusts mc, how much he loves and cares for them, even if he can't explain why the feelings he holds for them are so strong

it also shows that he's thankful to have someone who will care about and protect his brothers as much as he does, and some of the weight of the "oldest brother" mantle has been lifted. it allows him to be vulnerable and at least a little more carefree, which is why he's seen joking and laughing with his brothers so much more often in the later lessons in comparison to season 1 and early season 2

i feel like i'm SUPOOSED to reach bc why would he phrase it like that ??? i don't think he knows...but he's really intuitive

or maybe this was a way of the devs using him to unofficially-officially send us off and into our original timeline. idk. i'm reaching but they made me

THEY DID NOT

oh i'm really gonna cry...they took what we wrote in season 1 and showed it to the boys

i COMPLETELY forgot we even did this 😭 god i'm gonna cry i love this game sm

I KNEW NO TIME PASSED THANK GODDDDDD

i don't think i'd be able to handle it if the same amount of time passed across realms

i also think this is why they emphasized "time soup" so heavily, you can be put anywhere at any time as if nothing had changed

...i can't believe it's over

...for now at least

well time to read the HDD story and catch up on devilgram

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me spoilers #nightbringer spoilers #obey me nightbringer spoilers #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #diavolo obey me #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me mc #obey me mephisto #obey me mephistopheles #solomon obey me #barbatos obey me #obey me brothers #simeon obey me

[bruisedboys]

Your characterization of the marauders is spot on for all of them!! Ok, here are my insane thoughts about Remus in no particular order:

- he’s obviously insecure about his scars, but nothing makes him feel better or more loved than when you trace them softly or kiss along one of them because you think he’s beautiful no matter what and you need him to know that

- he’d be the perfect boyfriend around the holidays, helping with baking and taking you around to see the lights and always making sure you have a warm drink and letting you borrow his sweaters because you just look so beautiful in them and doing a gift exchange where he gives you the most thoughtful gift ever because he always listens and always remembers every little thing you say

- he’s a great chef and he’ll never let the boys know, and as much as he loves taking you out and showing you off, his favorite dates are at home where he cooks a nice meal and you cuddle up to watch a movie after or he’ll read to you (omg his voice would be all soft and a little scratchy ahh)

- bookstore dates are the best, and you’ll go and pick out a book for him and he’ll pick one out for you and if it’s nice you’ll go read in the park or on your back porch but if it’s cold (like it is now) you’ll curl up on the couch together and read for the whole afternoon, just enjoying being near each other

- lately I can’t stop thinking about dad!Remus, he’d be so great while you’re pregnant and he’d read all the baby books and he’d baby proof your apartment and he’d get you whatever you needed or wanted at any hour of the day all while being stressed beyond belief but he’d never let you know that when you have much more important things to worry about and once the baby comes, she’s got him wrapped around her tiny little fingers (because he’s obviously a girl dad) and just imagine this tiny little baby being held so gently by this tall, deceptively strong man

- also I have some very detailed thoughts about book store reader x single dad Remus if you’d like to hear…

omg so many good thoughts thank you angel!!!! I will be thinking about all of these for the next 2-5 business days…..

- ok firstly YES. bf is very insecure about his scars but you tell him they’re pretty and make him look really handsome and he just loses it!!!!! the second you kiss or even just caress one of his scars he melts. also if you’re ever insecure about your own scars/stretch marks/other marks on your body he’ll show you his and be like but look :))) we’re matching babe :))))

- yes he is so christmas boyfriend!!!!! he’s such a good gift giver because he remembers everything about you and yes his gifts are always so thoughtful!! I feel like he’s very into handmade gifts too! I’m imagining a handmade clay vase or something like that. or a wooden jewellery box. omg!!

- real!!!! he cooks the best homey meals (domestic!remus 😵‍💫) like pasta dishes, soups, homemade bread. omg bread is definitely his speciality and he’ll make it fresh for you at the drop of a hat if you’re craving it <3

- bookstore dates!!! stop I am literally swooning. you and him will do a little game where you don’t let the other person see what book you’re getting until you’re out of the store and then you present it to them once you’re out!! he has the best taste in books so you always know it’ll be good 😌 and then when you read together he’s always gotta be touching you, your legs in his lap or his hand on your thigh, sometimes he’ll even lay in your lap!!!

- dad!remus will actually be the death of me. for some reason the idea of any of my favourite characters being dads just awakens something feral inside of me. he’s definitely the best ever when you’re pregnant!!! you better believe he’s doing everything for you, you’re not allowed to lift a finger babe. he’s very protective of you too, very gentle with you and aware of anything and everything that could hurt you or the baby even a tiny bit. if you’re emotional or sick or just having a really rough time he always holds it together for you, never losing his patience and always reminding you that you’re incredible and strong and he loves you!!! also also he loves his friends but he doesn’t let them rub your tummy or talk to the baby for too long, that’s his baby thank you very much 😇

oh em gee I’d love your thoughts on bookstore reader x single dad!remus 🤭 all of your thoughts so far were soooo good and fuelled my brainrot successfully

#I love you sweet angel anon!!!!!! #remus lupin #remus lupin oneshot #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin thoughts #remus lupin hc #remus lupin headcanon #remus lupin headcanons #remus lupin imagines #remus lupin thought #remus lupin drabbles #remus lupin drabble #remus lupin fic #remus lupin x reader fluff #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fanfiction

[writerpetals]

quiet | 🔞

; optional female lead smut |  ☁️

Sometimes you wonder how much trouble she would be in if anyone were to find out she sneaks you into the dorm when everyone is asleep. The consequence would be severe, definitely, but it’s hard to care the moment her head lowers to tease between your thighs after she’s stripped you of your clothes and pushed you to her bed.

“Be quiet,” she warns in a whisper spilling from smirking lips, flicking her eyes toward you to notice the lust gathering in every inch of your face. As she clicks on the long, slender toy with a round tip in her hand, a subtle hum fills the room, not loud enough to awaken anyone, yet your moans definitely are a cause for concern when she eases the vibrator inside of you.

Her smirk grows wider on her lips while watching you struggle to keep your noises quiet, biting down on your bottom lip and grasping at the sheets beneath you. A satisfied chuckle fills your ears seconds before a swipe of her tongue over your flesh earns a gasp. She doesn’t play fair, even if she’s the one risking everything in the moment.

The toy presses against your dripping walls as she angles the tip upward, caressing just enough to make it even harder to keep your moans at bay. Once her tongue flicks out for the second time to tease your clit, you feel as if keeping yourself in control will be nothing but failed attempts. It makes it easy to sometimes wonder if she wishes for someone to catch the two of you.

“Quiet,” she warns once more, a devilish smirk on her lips and you want to tell her it’s nearly impossible, but you say nothing while she lowers her mouth to your body once again. Her tongue licks a long swipe over the hood of your clit, all before easing back down to circle around the swollen, throbbing bud. The motion renders you a complete mess of soft whimpers and moans struggled to keep hushed, and as she repeats her actions, she has you right where she wants you.

She thrusts the toy deeper inside of you, vibrating your walls and making your hips jerk in response. To say she is pleased at your reaction would be an understatement, watching your body fall against the bed, nearly lifeless except for your thighs trembling around her head. She continues teasing your clit, tasting you, making you shiver and whimper and dig your nails into the bed to keep a hold on your sanity.

When she pulls away to begin pumping the toy in and out, you nearly lose your mind from anticipation.

“You’re shaking so hard… are you going to come?” she asks with a giggle, taunting you because you’re right on the edge. She loves teasing, getting you worked up only to take it away, yet you can feel the pleasure swelling and the electricity surging. “Oh, you’re so wet, you’re dripping all over my bed.”

You struggle to say her name, so breathless, trying your best to keep your volume in check only until she positions the toy against your g-spot to earn your back arching from the bed.

“Do you hear that?” You take a deep breath as she asks, only hearing the way the vibrator hums, mixing with the messy sound of your juices dripping each time she pulls the toy out of you, and hearing a wet squelch when she thrusts it back inside. “I think this is the wettest you’ve ever been.”

“God…” you almost manage to mutter a nearly complete sentence, head lolling back, jaw slacking, and she quickly gets the hint. Her tongue presses to your clit once more, caressing back and forth, up and down, performing circles and painting your skin with designs until your thighs tighten around her. You begin quivering beyond belief, coming undone as the waves of pleasure crash through you and she doesn’t stop until she feels you go weak beneath her.

She pulls away with a wicked grin, and behind eyes half-lidded you see her wiping her mouth after turning the toy off. Then she leans over your body, pressing her lips to yours before whispering, “my turn.”

And you couldn’t be more thrilled to return the pleasure as well as the teasing.

#blackpink smut #marvel smut #twilight smut #harry potter smut #jennie smut #twice smut #dreamcatcher smut #red velvet smut #itzy smut #mamamoo smut #aespa smut #jisoo smut #girl group smut #gidle smut #blackpink scenarios #aespa senarios #red velvet scenarios #dreamcatcher scenarios #jennie scenarios #jisoo scenarios

[queenshelby]

Chemical Reactions (P. 16)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy as J Robert Oppenheimer x Student Reader

Warning: Age-Gap, Infidelity, Smut

Words: 2,566

Note: The fic is spoiler free and my own fantasy and imagination. It is not historically and scientifically accurate.

Kitty stormed off, her fury seething within her like an erupting volcano. She couldn't believe what she had just witnessed, the ultimate betrayal right before her eyes.

As she made her way home, her footsteps echoed with a mix of anger and hurt. Robert followed in silence, his heart pounding in his chest. He knew he had made a terrible mistake, and now faced with the consequences, he braced himself for what was to come.

Finally reaching their home, Kitty turned to face Robert, her eyes burning with fury.

"How long, Robert?" she demanded, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and desperation. Robert looked into Kitty's eyes, feeling a pang of guilt twisting in his gut.

"A few months, Kitty," he admitted quietly, his voice filled with regret.

And what about the others, Robert? The countless affairs I've discovered over the years?" she asked, her voice quivering.

Robert closed his eyes, feeling the weight of his actions bearing down on him. "Kitty, I-" he sighed, his shoulders slumping.

“It doesn’t matter. I've known about your philandering for years, but this one feels different,” Kitty acknowledged before asking her husband whether he loved you.

Robert hesitated, his gaze dropping to the floor. "Yes," he admitted finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

The words hung heavily in the air, each syllable piercing Kitty's heart like a thousand knives.

She feared this admission, yet hearing it out loud shattered any hope she clung to.

Kitty's voice cracked as she spoke, her pain evident in every word.

"And what about us, Robert? The life we built together? Are you willing to throw it all away for her?" Kitty wanted to know and Robert's gaze dropped to the ground, his anguish palpable.

"I don't know, Kitty," he murmured, his voice filled with confusion as he thought about you. "Y/N shares my beliefs, and she knows what I am doing here. She knows the secrets I cannot share with you and understands the world differently than most. We have a connection that I cannot possibly explain, Kitty” Robert explained, telling Kitty how you are the first woman he met who was that intelligent and shared his passion for physics.

Fury ignited within Kitty's eyes as she clenched her fists. "Oh, so this is about changing the fucking world? This is about your ego and the pursuit of knowledge?" she spat, her words laced with bitterness. Robert reached out, his hand trembling as he placed it on Kitty's arm.

"No, Kitty, it's about more than that," he pleaded, his voice filled with desperation. Kitty yanked her arm away, her voice seething with contempt.

"Well, Robert, you made me a promise when you took my hand in marriage, and I will keep you to that promise,” Kitty told him sternly as a steely determination washed over her features. "You have a choice to make, Robert. Either you end this affair and commit to our marriage or lose everything, including the project. I know things Robert and I can make life rather unpleasant for you and your little lab rat here at Los Alamos," Kitty told her husband in anger, whose chin dropped.

***

Meanwhile, you stood in the streets of Los Alamos. You were alone, and your heart was pummeled by abandonment. You couldn't comprehend why Robert had left you standing there, like a discarded piece of lab equipment and wondered whether his words meant anything.

“Just you and me” was what he said many times and, with that, confusion and sadness washed over you as you stared at Robert’s house and decided that, come tomorrow, you needed an answer.

As such, the following day, you found yourself standing outside Robert's office, your heart pounding beneath your chest.

You had to confront him to understand why he had left you standing there without a second thought or regret. He did not even send you a note that night or bother to apologise, which, in the end, hurt you the most.

***

Gathering your courage, you pushed open the door to Robert's office and stepped inside.

“Robert! We need to talk," you said with a quivering voice as Robert jumped, dropping the pen he held.

"Y/N, I... wasn't expecting you,” he said.

"Clearly," you replied, your voice laced with irritation, and Robert looked up from his desk with surprise etched across his face. Guilt washed over him as he knew he had to explain himself.

" I didn't mean to leave you like that," he stammered before you even had a chance to speak, and your eyes bore into his, a mix of pain and determination shining within them.

"You know, after all the things you said and wrote to me, Robert, I thought we had something meaningful together”, you pointed out, and Robert took a deep breath, his gaze searching for the right words. "Yen, we do. I love you, Y/N, but I cannot leave Kitty. Not yet,” Robert told you just before your emotions began to spell forth.

"Robert, you have to decide. I can’t take this any longer. It's not fair to either of us," you told him, and Robert's shoulders slumped as he absorbed your words, the weight of his decisions pressing down upon him.

"I know, Y/N”, he whispered, his voice heavy with regret. Silence hung in the air momentarily as you and Robert stared at each other, grappling with your situation's complexities. The unspoken pain and longing swirled around you, begging for resolution.

“I want to leave her, Y/N, but it is complicated,” Robert acknowledged, and your heart ached, torn between wanting to believe him and running away from the pain.

"Complicated doesn't even begin to describe this mess, Robert,” you said, your voice filled with pain and determination. "If you choose to stay with Kitty, then let me go. I am begging you” You began to cry, and Robert's brows furrowed as he listened intently, searching for the elusive answer that would guide him out of this maze of emotions.

“I can’t, Y/N. You know that. I love you and I need you,” Robert told you, and you took a step closer, your eyes locking onto Robert's. The raw vulnerability within your gaze sent shivers down his spine.

“You must, Robert. Don’t put me through this, seeing you with your wife every day,” you begged him as your lips quivered as a tear slid down your cheek.

You reached out, gently placing your hand on Robert's cheek, and, silently, a mix of sadness and hope danced in Robert's eyes as he caressed your hand.

“Give me two weeks, and I will figure it out. I will leave Kitty," he begged before you continued your heartfelt conversation, exploring the depths of your love and the challenges that awaited you if Robert left his wife during the project.

“Will I see you tonight?” Robert then asked just as it was time for you to leave and attend this medical appointment he had instructed you to make, as your superior rather than your lover.

“No, Robert, I will not see you again outside work until you make your choice,” you told him before you left his office with a final kiss.

Twenty minutes later…

You arrived at the Los Alamos clinic twenty minutes later and the doctor's office was filled with an eerie silence. You stared anxiously at your hands, beads of sweat forming on your forehead. This appointment was supposed to provide answers, but it only deepened the mystery.

Radiation poisoning was what Robert was concerned about after your frequent exposure to radioactive plutonium, and whilst you downplayed your symptoms, they had gotten worse in the past week or so.

"Good afternoon, Miss Y/LN," a doctor greeted you. His face was etched with concern as he glanced at your medical chart.

"I understand you've been experiencing some symptoms like nausea and dizziness. You are also exhausted lately, forgetting things in the laboratory that you shouldn’t, and Dr Oppenheimer is concerned about potential radiation poisoning. So, let's run some tests to get to the bottom of it, shall we?" he suggested and you nodded, feeling a knot tightening in your stomach.

"I told Robert…uhm, Dr Oppenheimer that it may just be the heat here at Los Alamos that is making me sick. I am not used to it” you told him as, without words, the doctor fetched his equipment and began examining you, his eyes never wavering from the task at hand.

"I'll thoroughly examine you to determine if there are any physical signs of radiation poisoning, ma’am, starting with a radiation exposure test,” he told you before pulling out a radiation detector, making you chuckle.

“So, you think I may be radioactive, and still, you sit here, wearing no protective gear whatsoever?” you joked, playing down your very own nervousness as the doctor prodded and probed your skin with the device.

“Quite frankly, Miss Y/LN, I don’t believe that you have radiation poisoning, and yet, I am obliged to test for it. It’s protocol”, the doctor told you before continuing the test until, eventually, concluding that his assumption was correct. You had not been exposed to unsafe limits of radiation.

“I have finished my examination, and the good news is that I couldn't find any indications of serious radiation exposure," the doctor said, removing his gloves and setting them aside. "But there might be another reason for your symptoms,” he said with a smile.

A ray of hope washed over you, only to be overshadowed by the doctor's next words.

"Tell me, have you been experiencing any irregularities with your menstrual cycle?" he asked and you froze, your cheeks flushing with colour as you realised the gravity of the doctor's question. Your last period had been eight weeks ago, a fact that had slipped your mind amidst the chaos surrounding your affair and your move to Los Alamos. How could you have been so careless?

"I...uhm...my period...it's been absent," you stammered, your voice barely audible.

“Regular intercourse?” was the doctor’s next question, phrased more as an assumption, to which you silently nodded.

"Well then, given your current symptoms, it is possible that you are pregnant,” the doctor then said and his eyes narrowed with concern. Immediately, panic surged through you like a tidal wave, threatening to engulf your senses. Pregnant? The mere thought struck fear into your heart. Children were not a part of the equation. Your ambition burned too brightly to be snuffed out by motherhood.

"Pregnant?" you whispered, your voice tinged with disbelief. "But how? I mean... I..." you stammered, gasping loudly. Of course, this was a rhetorical question.

“You are a smart woman, and I don’t expect to have to answer this question,” the doctor said as he offered you an empathetic smile and leaned back in the cold, sterile chair, your mind racing. This was a dilemma of epic proportions. Should you continue this pregnancy, tying yourself forever to the man you loved but shouldn't? Or should you make a different choice?

“Are you sure doctor?” you asked and the doctor shook his head. Of course, he wasn’t sure and there was no way to positively diagnose a pregnancy until at least the second semester.

“I cannot be sure, but I can order some blood tests to see what is what. Sometimes it indicates whether we are looking in the right direction,” the doctor said, his voice gentle yet firm.

“Yes, I will take the blood test,” you told him as some apprehension washed over you, but, what he said to you next, made you tremble. It was something that you had not expected.

“I will have to write a report to Dr Oppenheimer in respect of my interim findings, ruling it safe for you to return to work in the laboratory, but I feel as though you may wish to discuss this matter with him first, in person,” the doctor then said and, of course, your heart sank. You knew that you had to tell Robert before he received this report and, thus, you nodded in agreeance.

“Please give me 48 hours, doctor” you told him and he nodded reluctantly, giving you a note of absence from the laboratory until then.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you #oppenheimer movie #oppenheimer 2023 #kitty oppenheimer #oppenheimer #j robert oppenheimer #robert oppenheimer #j robert oppenheimer x you #j robert oppenheimer x reader #robert oppenheimer smut #cillian murphy x oc

[moremaybank]

THIS LOVE — j.m

pairing actor!jj maybank x actress!reader

chapter summary jj faces the possibility of his scandal going public. then, he ends up reconnecting with you after five years. what happens when the two of you end up as costars for your upcoming romantic comedy?

warnings mentions of a sex tape, mentions of domestic abuse (jj and luke), language, violence, sexual content/eventual smut, anxiety. ex best friends to lovers, fake dating. this will be updated as the story develops. [2.2k]

author's note just a little post of the first chapter to build the hype! hope you enjoy and decide to continue reading ♡︎ also special s/o to @mvybanks and @jjsbank444 for beta reading and quelling my nerves &lt;3

recommended listening second chances by kiana ledé ft. 6lack

this love — the complete playlist ;; the masterlist ;; the tag list

❝ CHAPTER ONE ❞

JJ

Threesomes are fun. Foursomes, however, are a blast. 

At least, JJ Maybank seems to think so. 

“You have three different women threatening to release your sex tape. It’s not a good look for you, JJ.”

Well, he does when they don’t include a secretly-filmed sex tape and three fame-thirsty girls trying to ruin his career for a quick cash grab. 

“It’s not like they’re three separate tapes. We were all together when it was made,” JJ smirks. 

Josh, his manager, lets out an exasperated sigh. “That doesn’t make things any better, and it does nothing to help our circumstances. You need to clean up your act and you need to start doing it now, Maybank, or you’re going to lose everything.”

JJ rolls his eyes for what feels like the millionth time in the fifteen minutes that this meeting has been going on. It’s bullshit, really. He’s one of the hottest actors in Hollywood right now. He’s youthful, dashingly handsome, and loaded. The world is his freakin’ oyster, and he deserves to have some fun.

“You’re supposed to keep up your whole approachable, goofy, boy-next-door image intact, and having a ménage à…quatre, is not the way to do it.” my publicist, Andrea, chimes in. “If you aren’t careful, you’re going to lose your entire fanbase. You’re one of the most universally-liked celebrities in the business, right now. If this gets out, you’re going to have to kiss your crystal clear reputation goodbye.”

“So, let’s just pay ‘em the hush money. What do I care?” JJ says, taking his cap off and running a hand through his unruly strands.

“And you’re fine with forking over ten million dollars? Just like that?” Andrea scowls. “What if they take the money and still decide to release the tape? Or demand more?”

“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, Andrea. Now, are we done here? I’m supposed to meet my co-star for my new movie in an hour and I’d really like to get in another — how did you put it? Ah, yes. Ménage á quatre — before I go.”

Josh runs a hand over his face, “Do you care about anything anymore?” 

JJ ignores his statement, putting his hat back on and sitting up in his chair. “Can I leave?”

He can tell that Josh wants to scold him or make some witty remark in return, but he bites his tongue. 

“Go. And, please, for the love of all things holy, do not screw this up.” 

If JJ had a penny for every time he’s heard that, he’d be richer than Jeff fucking Bezos.

-

Y/N

“And last but not least, this is your dressing room. You’ll have your own trailer, but this is more for when we’re actually on set and in between takes.”

You grin as you look around the luxurious room. There’s a huge vanity in front of you, as well as some plush couches, and you don’t fail to notice the large mini-fridge in the corner of the room or the flat-screen TV plastered onto the wall. There’s a window as well, letting in the California sunshine you’ve come to love and appreciate beyond your beliefs.

“Wow, this is…amazing. I can’t thank you guys enough for this opportunity. I’m so grateful, I hope you know that.”

“Don’t be silly, Y/N. You’re the very reason we wanted to do this project in the first place. If anything, we’re the lucky ones,” Derek, the director states with a grin. “So, you ready to meet your co-star, or what?”

“Yeah! I mean, I’m nervous, but, beyond excited.”

Derek leads you back into the hallway, and you make your way to one of the offices. 

“I think you’ll love him. Word is, he comes from the Outer Banks just like you. Who knows, you’ve probably met him in passing.”

Wait…what? He’s from OBX? No. No way. He couldn’t possibly mean—

“Y/N Y/L/N, meet the esteemed JJ Maybank,” Derek states, his proud smile growing sizeably larger than you thought possible. 

It doesn’t matter how excited he is, though. All you can focus on is your heart beating out of your chest and the ringing in your ears. You see Derek’s lips moving but you can’t hear a thing. Your eyes are caught on the blonde in front of you, and all you can think about is how painful it is to look into those oceanic eyes after five years.

It’s equally as painful as it was the last time you saw him. If not, more.

“Uh— Y/N, I…it’s— it’s been a while,” JJ stutters out. 

It’s all too much. Seeing him here, in front of you. His eyes locked on yours, his hand reaching out to touch you but retracting once he notices the fear in your gaze. Your eyes flit over to Derek, whose face has a more than confused look painted over his features. 

“Excuse me, Derek, I— I need to get out of here.” 

You speed into the restroom, locking the door behind you and setting your hands on the counter. Your chest tightens, and your breathing speeds up. She shudders, trying to shake it out as the room starts to feel like it’s closing in on you.

“You’re okay. You’re okay. You can do this. Don’t let him get to you,” you say, staring at yourself in the mirror. “It’s just…it’s just JJ.”

You feel the tears start to well in your eyes and you watch as they overtake their boundaries and roll down your flushed cheeks. You’re quick to wipe them away, though, refusing to admit defeat. 

“Stop,” you tell yourself. “It’s been five years. You’re better than this.”

You aren’t sure if the words are true to your heart, because all you can think about is how the boy you loved from the ages seven to eighteen — the one who betrayed you and shattered you into a million pieces — is now your co-star for the romantic comedy you’ve just been cast in.

What could possibly go wrong?

A lot, you think. A lot could go wrong. 

JJ

JJ watches as you make your way back into Derek’s office, shooting him a convincing smile.

“My apologies, Derek. Girl troubles,” you say. 

JJ still knows you well enough to see that you’re hoping Derek will believe your bullshit excuse. 

“Oh, uh, no worries at all, Y/N. I completely understand. I’ve got three daughters at home,” he speaks, trying to assure you that everything is fine. He places this hand on JJ’s shoulder, squeezing slightly. “JJ, here, was just telling me how the two of you have known each other since you were in elementary school. It must be quite the hell of a reunion, huh?”

You plaster a fake grin onto your lips, “One hell of a reunion, indeed.”

JJ refuses to look at you, his ex-best friend, and vice-versa. Truthfully, he’s terrified to catch your eye again. He’s not sure if he’ll be able to form a coherent sentence if he does. 

“Well, I’ve got some stuff to take care of, so I’ll leave you two to catch up.”

Derek exits his office, and you and JJ are left in complete and utter silence.

God, JJ missed you so much. He’d seen you making headlines just as you always said you would, but he was always quick to click away, deciding not to dwell on everything he’d lost. But this, now, seeing you right in front of him as gorgeous as ever…it made the walls he’d worked so hard to put up begin to crack. 

Then again, you’d always had that effect on him. 

Even after all these years, he was still a complete wreck over you. You held his heart in the palm of your hand and he wasn’t even sure if you knew it.

Your scent was still etched into his mind, still buzzing deep within his senses and his memory. You smelled of the saltwater beaches of the Outer Banks. The notes of coconut from the shampoo he’d recognized still lingering in the tresses of your hair. The sweet hints of vanilla that clutched to your skin are prominent as ever. The combination sounds like a lot, and it was, but not in the overpowering way one would assume. They blended into one heavenly and unique fragrance. 

She smelled like her, he thought. She smelled like home. 

To be honest, JJ wasn’t sure whether or not this was a reminder he wanted to welcome with open arms, but either way, here it was. Here you were. After the way he’d hurt you and destroyed your relationship forever. 

After he lost himself. 

Funnily enough, you’d always had a way of popping up whenever he needed and longed for you. He never even had to speak a single word. You just always knew. And you might not have guessed it now, but he needed you more than he ever had before.

JJ scratches his brow with his index finger. “So, um…how have you been?” 

“Don’t. Just…don’t.”

“Y/N, please,” he pleads. He almost wants to get down on his knees and beg. You can’t even look at him, and that hurts more than he could ever put into words.

“No. I don’t wanna hear it. I’m fine with being professional while we film this movie, but I’m not getting into this with you. I’m not getting into any of it.”

JJ remains silent, choosing to nod because he’s not totally sure he can find his voice. 

As much as he hated to let the thought in, you were a walking reminder of every bad decision he’d made since he left the island and never looked back. He looked at you, and he saw two things. The first being the crinkling of your bright eyes when you smiled. The melodic laugh he could pull from your lips at a moment’s notice. Your hair blowing in the wind as you stuck your head out the window of John B’s Twinkie. And the second being the look of despise and pain on your face as you confronted him. The mascara-stained tears flowing down your heated cheeks. The way you walked away from him and deliberately chose not to look back and steal a second glance at him. 

How was he expected to act all suave and cool when you were right there in front of him, actively choosing not to even look in his direction?

Truth is, he doesn’t think he can. 

-

JJ glances at his phone once he leaves the production office still shaken by the day’s events. 

2 Missed FaceTime Calls from John B

JJ swipes to the right and watches as his phone rings, awaiting his best friend’s answer while he plops down on the steps in front of the building. The line rings for a few moments before he hears shuffling through the speaker, followed by John B’s face appearing on his screen.

“Hey, man. how was your meeting? Your new costar as hot as we imagined?”

JJ tears his eyes away from the camera, his lip sinking between his teeth. His complexion pales, and John B picks up on it. 

“Jeez. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Because I have,” JJ deadpans. He’s still reeling from your presence, and it shows.

“Huh?”

“It’s Y/N…my costar is Y/N.”

“Ooh, yikes,” John B responds. “Did she nut-punch you?”

“It’s not funny.” 

JJ tugs his cap off as he always does when he’s stressed, and his fingers card through his hair. He tugs lightly at the strands as he tries to alleviate the tension building up in his head. 

“She couldn’t even look at me, John B. Her eyes were on me for all of five seconds before she made an excuse to go to the bathroom. Then, when she came back, she looked at everything but me. She barely even let me speak to her.”

“Well, to be fair, you guys didn’t exactly leave things on the best of terms.”

“Yeah, JB. I know. Thanks for the reminder, as if I didn’t fucking know that already.”

“All right, look. Did you fuck up majorly? Yeah. But the love the two of you had…it ran deep. It doesn’t just disappear without a trace, especially if things are this heated after five years. I think you can get her to forgive you.” 

JJ scoffs, “Yeah? And how do you suppose I do that?”

John B gives him a knowing look through the screen. 

“You have to tell her the truth, JJ.”

“Funny.”

“J,” John B mildly scolds. “The reason she hates you right now is because you weren’t honest with her. The JJ she knew before that night never would’ve treated her the way you did. Buck up. Tell her.”

The call disconnects, and JJ is left staring at his screen with a tense jaw. He knew John B was right. He was always right. But how on earth was he expected to muster up the courage and tell you the truth about that night? He doubted — no. He knew it’d be impossible to convince you to hear him out. 

Then again, he also knew he had to try. Because he couldn’t stand to be around you nearly every single day for the next few months, knowing that you wouldn’t spit on him if he was on fire.

jj tag list: @pankowperfection @oncasette @taintedxkisses @maybankslover @goldenroutledge @penny4yourthoughts @bmo-bri @hemogloban @princessbetsy123-blog @slytherhoes @maybank-archives @whoisdrewstarkey @aliyahsomerhalder @dreamingwithrafe @vigilanteshitposting @poppet05 @adoreyouusugar @f4ll-for-you @slytheringirlthatkillpeople @tell-me-when-ur-ready @bbycowboi @jjmaybankisbae @enhypens-hoe @pankhoeforlife @cecesrings @wildflwrdarlin @loverofdrewstarkey @earth2starkey @angelofcigs @topper-thornton @em0-b0ysworld @koalalafications @aerangi @cantstoptherecs @bloody-mf-bsc @maybanksbabe @sarah5462 @slut4drudy @lvvrgrl @dancinglikeaballerina @somerandos-world @shahanaazsoumah @peachpitlover @pinkpantheris @julesmendoza890 @emmalandry @blueicequeen19 @madelynie

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