#lesbian and gay are used as slurs too. today. to you. all the time. but theyre your words too. queer is our word.

[writers-potion]

Hi, I am trying to write a homosexual book that takes place in the 20s. I am unsure where to start and how bad the 20s was for homosexuality so if you have any tips it would be appreciated. Thank you for reading.

Homosexuality in Historical Fiction

I'm going to answer this in two parts: (1) Tips for writing queer historical fiction, and (2) the 1920 gay culture.

Get Your Language Right

Vocabulary is key to capturing how homsexual people identified themselves and interacted with one another at the time. Consider:

The kind of language/code used at the time. For example, gay men in the 1950-60s would have spoken Polari to skirt UK’s strict anti-homosexuality laws. This might mean your characters say seemingly ridiculous things like, “Bona to vada your dolly old eek!” (good to see your nice face)

Authenticity vs. Sensitivity. We don’t need to perpetuate old slurs just because they were used “at the time”. Would the readers of today (your target audience) be accepting towards use of such language? 

Is it really necessary? Just like in the case of foreign languages and dialects, it may be better to just refer to the code/secret language being spoken rather than overdoing it in dialogue. Also, does your character identify themselves as a part of this community at all?

Balance Between Struggle and Hope

Often in historical LQBTQ+ fiction, if the conflict is badly written, the readers are just going to feel angry and frustrated. Because:

Even the likable, otherwise reasonable characters won't be able to accept homosexuality easily, often opposing it downright.

Homosexual characters may be confused, struggle with self-doubt and self-hatred (which can't be fun to read, obviously)

The norms of the time make any “resolution” rather disappointing (compared to modern times).

Your goal is to juggle between these strong negative emotions to convey the central message and let hope shine through. Linger too much on negativity and your novel will be dark, but treating these themes 'lightly' will make you sound shallow.

So, treat oppression just as you would write a physical antagonist. It's powerful and a possible life-threatening opposition to the Lead, but it has flaws, loopholes and needs time to regroup before it hits our Lead again with increased force.

+ General Tips

Beware of giving your characters hindsight. As a writer, we know what happened both before and after the time period the characters live through, but they don't! The characters not being able to predict what comes can be a good tragic element.

The word “homosexual” wasn’t coined until 1869, and didn’t become common parlance until the early 20th century. From at least the very early 17th till the mid-19th century, the most common term for women was “tribade,” referring to the act of tribadism (scissoring). Some people used the term “fricatrice.” In the 18th century, “lesbian” and “Sapphist” started to become more common terminology. Men were called sodomites and pederasts (a word which didn’t have the paedophilic connotation it does today). The word “homophile” was coined in 1924 and was most commonly used by gay men and lesbians in the 1950s and 1960s.

“Gay” didn’t take on the almost exclusive meaning of homosexual until the 1960s, and even then, it was still used in the old sense of “merry” more than a few times. Only in the 1970s did it finally emerge as the most popular, mainstream word.

Less suspicions were aroused by a lesbian couple living together for decades than a gay male couple. Many people assumed they were just two very close spinster friends, not that it was a Boston marriage. There were many more questions about why two men would want to live together.

To avoid the very real risk of jail, lobotomy, conversion “therapy,” or the loonybin, sometimes a gay and lesbian couple would enter a ménage à quatre. Though it appeared on the surface as though two straight couples lived in the same duplex or right next door, they were actually just lavender cover marriages. Some had children (through various means) and co-parented.

Photo booths were seen as a safe space where a same-sex couple could kiss, cuddle, and embrace without fear of arrest or public suspicion.

Some lesbian couples were able to adopt children as single women, in jurisdictions which permitted that. More daring couples underwent artificial insemination and then went abroad to give birth, coming home with “adopted babies.”

Similar to the handkerchief code in the BDSM community, some gay men signalled to one another with red neckties and green carnations. Parisienne lesbians signalled to one another with violets in their hair.

There’s a long history of gay bathhouses, dating back centuries. Since male homosexuality was illegal and severely punished, a bathhouse was among the few places it was safe to meet potential partners and engage in sexual activity. Even the very real fear of police raids didn’t deter patrons. Manhattan, Paris, and London were home to many famous (and luxurious) gay baths, but there were plenty of lesser-known ones in other cities.

While not everyone was lucky enough to have a lavender ménage à quatre, many people had individual lavender marriages. Sometimes the spouse knew s/he was serving as a cover, sometimes not.

There were also more “traditional” ménage à trois marriages, composed of the lavender couple plus the true same-sex partner all living together. Sometimes these arrangements were composed of a bisexual plus a partner of each sex.

People did NOT casually out themselves! They could only confide their secret to other confirmed friends of Dorothy and extremely radical allies who had proven they could be trusted and wouldn’t turn on them.

You don’t have to make your straight characters raging, violent homophobes, but it’s completely unrealistic and historically inaccurate to show them all immediately, unquestioningly, lovingly accepting their friends’ homosexuality if the secret comes out. They might agree to not let anyone else know, but the friendship would probably be over. Other people, a bit more open-minded, might eventually reconcile but never be able to completely shake the belief that their sexual orientation is unnatural, strange, or wrong. Some people might only come around after decades of estrangement and realising gays and lesbians are just like everyone else.

To avoid discovery, some lesbians called one another by male names in their letters. Some liked those nicknames so much they continued using them in real life.

1920 Gay Culture

The United States - The Roaring Twenties 

As the United States entered an era of unprecedented economic growth and prosperity in the years after World War I, cultural mores loosened and a new spirit of sexual freedom reigned.

Harlem’s famous drag balls were part of a flourishing, highly visible LGBTQ nightlife

"Pansy Craze”: gay, lesbian and transgender performers graced the stages of nightspots in cities

lesbian and gay characters were being featured in a slew of popular “pulp” novels, in songs and on Broadway stages (including the controversial 1926 play The Captive) and in Hollywood—at least prior to 1934, when the motion picture industry began enforcing censorship guidelines, known as the Hays Code. Heap cites Clara Bow’s 1932 film Call Her Savage, in which a short scene features a pair of “campy male entertainers” in a Greenwich Village-like nightspot. On the radio, songs including "Masculine Women, Feminine Men" and "Let’s All Be Fairies" were popular.

On a Friday night in February 1926, a crowd of some 1,500 packed the Renaissance Casino in New York City’s Harlem neighborhood for the 58th masquerade and civil ball of Hamilton Lodge.

Nearly half of those attending the event, reported the New York Age, appeared to be “men of the class generally known as ‘fairies,’ and many Bohemians from the Greenwich Village section who...in their gorgeous evening gowns, wigs and powdered faces were hard to distinguish from many of the women.”

The tradition of masquerade and civil balls, more commonly known as drag balls, had begun back in 1869 within Hamilton Lodge, a black fraternal organization in Harlem. By the mid-1920s, at the height of the Prohibition era, they were attracting as many as 7,000 people of various races and social classes—gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight alike.

London - Balls and Adverts

Like other large cities at the time, London was home to many drag balls and nightclubs where the gay community could express themselves. 

"Lady Austin's Camp Boys" (1933): At a private ballroom in Holland Park Avenue, west London, 60 men were arrested in a police raid after undercover officers had watched them dancing, kissing and having sex in make-up and women's clothes. But despite facing a lengthy prison term and disgrace, the organiser, "Lady Austin", told officers: "There is nothing wrong [in who we are]. You call us nancies and bum boys but before long our cult will be allowed in the country."

Other gay men found partners through personal advertisements, which could be an equally risky strategy. 

In 1920 the publisher of a magazine called the Link and three gay subscribers were each sentenced to two years of hard labor on charges of indecency and conspiring to corrupt public morals.

Some adverts even appeared in the national press, such as the Daily Express, although they were not quite so blatant. People would ask for 'chums' of their own sex and offer to take people on holiday.

One man responding to an advert in the Link wrote that he was "very fond of artistic surroundings, beautiful colours in furniture and curtains, and softly shaded lamps and all those beautiful things which appeal to the refined tastes of an artistic mind". He added: "All my love is for my own sex", and wrote that he longed to give his love "in the most intimate way".

Gay adverts often had references to Edward Carpenter, Oscar Wilde and Walt Whitman, or would say 'I have an unusual temperament'.

Berlin - The Weimar Republic

The Weimar Republic, Germany’s first parliamentary democracy lasted from 1918 until 1933 and was a time of progressive cultural renaissance from cinema, theater and music, to sexual liberation and a flourishing LGBTQ scene.

Berlin was home to around 40 known queer bars, a number which had doubled by 1925. The cabaret bars and clubs like Eldorado were packed to the brim with lust, tassels, glitter and flamboyance.

Drag shows were the norm and stars like Marlene Dietrich (a Berlin-native) and Josephine Baker who were icons for the queer community, performed regularly in Berlin’s lavish halls.

Kiosks sold an array of well known queer publications like Die Hoffnung (The Hope), Blätter für Menschenrecht (Leaflets for Human Rights), Frauenliebe (Woman Love), and Das dritte Geschlecht (The Third Sex).

As homosexuality was still illegal, Berlin’s Tiergarten and other parks, Nollendorferplatz as well as train stations and the infamous octagonal public bathrooms

Underground spaces flourished.

Here's a list of books with an LGBTQ+ POV character, set at least partly in the 1920s:

Self-Made Boys: A Great Gatsby Remix

Dead Dead Girls (Harlem Renaissance Mystery, #1)

In the Field

The Lady Adventurers Club

Last Call at the Nightingale (Nightingale Mysteries, #1)

A Good Year

The Last Nude

The Sleeping Car Porter

Once a Rogue (Roaring Twenties Magic, #2)

Slippery Creatures (The Will Darling Adventures, #1)

Crazy Pavements

References

https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20180212-polari-the-code-language-gay-men-used-to-survive

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2004/jul/03/gayrights.world

https://www.history.com/news/gay-culture-roaring-twenties-prohibition

#writers block #writers and poets #writing #creative writing #writers on tumblr #creative writers #helping writers #poets and writers #writeblr #resources for writers #let's write #writerscommunity #writers #writer #write #female writers #writer things #how to write #author #write every day #write it #write anything #write up #write that down #writing advice #writing community #writing tips #writing inspiration #writing prompt #on writing

[batpoisonz]

My experience as a 2S gaybian:

Before all this, I was exclusive to "contradictory" labels all the way up until early 2023. I then labeled myself as an mspec lesbian, because as a 2S person, my gender and sexuality are impacted by my cultural experiences way beyond that of someone's binary thinking. Most white transphobes couldn't even comprehend my experiences with me being 2S.

When I was exclu; it was simply just my own ignorance. I was influenced by those around me who did not understand the labels themselves. I listened to their arguments and at the time it made sense. Until inclu people came by and explained the labels to me.

I was the only one in my friend group who sat down to have a discussion with these people. and their arguments made even more sense and disputed all the arguments my friends came up with!! It was an insane and confusing experience. When you want to be loyal to your friends but something they do is just so morally wrong, you wouldn't know what to do either!

This is where I start to understand, and when I started to become critical of both sides. I thought exclu people were "radical" as well, but being "radinclu" simply just wasn't "radical" to me just for including queer people in the QUEER community, ya know?

At the time even tho my stance was changing and developing, I still fought against mspec lesbians and gays; simply because I was scared of being an outcast, that I'd get harassed by exclu people, that people would be racist to me, etc etc. but I soon learned it was the complete opposite.

AS SOMEBODY WHO IS GAYBIAN, when I was exclu I experienced MASS AMOUNTS of racism; to the point I felt like I had to leave twitter (even after I made my account private). I had people questioning my validity as a native american simply because I was an ignorant homophobe.

Say it with me: IGNORANCE DOES NOT EXCUSE RACISM!!

I even had people calling me a chimp, a creature, I've been called a chimera, I got mass reported, I got called multiple racial slurs, of which not all I could even reclaim, I got called a hermaphrodite, way way more happened. my cc got filled with racism and homophobia too!! all because I was ignorant on the subject.

Not once did I call an inclu person (while I was exclu) any of these horrible things or harass them; I just blocked them and moved on with my day.

I will admit I was a bigot for sure but I would NEVER wish any of these things on anyone.

It doesn't stop there though. when I came out as gaybian, I lost almost ALL of my online friends. I also was closeted irl because I had people at my college getting VERY hostile whenever somebody mentioned you can be a bi lesbian.

Those same people were okay with the idea of being a biplatonic lesbian.

basically, my point here is that even as you evolve and grow as a person, become more accepting of not only others but also yourself; the queer community is extremely divided. Even IF everyone agreed that "contradictory" labels weren't an issue, it still wouldn't stop the heartless attacks we all get as queers on the daily. exclus said the SAME THING about neopronouns and xenogenders 7 years ago that they're saying about mspec lesbians and gays today. AND THAT'S A PROBLEM.

The US is climbing towards eradicating all of us as queers; starting with trans people, and they're slowly inching on towards homosexuality. People WITHIN the queer community are more concerned about how we label ourselves, when we all have our own unique oppression as queers, AND SHARED OPPRESSION AS WELL!!

I've legit heard people saying the hate crimes I've experienced as a gaybian don't actually exist and that I'm overreacting because my identity isn't real.

You know who gets the same thing told to THEM?

Most queers will hear that same quote; ESPECIALLY nonbinary people and trans people in general.

everyone who is queer, is queer. whether you "agree" with the labels or not. we are QUEER for a reason.

#mspec queer #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #lgbt+ #bi lesbian #lesbian #mspec lesbian #mspec safe #bi lesboy #lesboy #gay #mspec lesboy #pansexual #pan #rad inclus #radinclu #mogai #pride #happy pride 🌈 #bisexual

[mxlti-fand0m-imaginess]

Strawberry Blonde // Chrissy Cunningham

request: none!

prompts: none!

summary: you and your girlfriend chrissy couldn't be more different. she's a cheerleader who loves all things pink and girly, and you're a d&d playing geek. but somehow, being complete opposites makes your relationship perfect.

warnings: language, suggestive themes, the tiniest bit of objectifying, homophobia (no slurs used), themes of bullying

word count: 2.5k

a/n: fem!reader, chrissy and reader are a lesbian couple, she/her pronouns used, only physical description of reader is taller than chrissy

join my taglist! album masterlist!

Her hair is a dark strawberry blonde

And when I'm with her, nothing is wrong

Takes my hand in hers when the lights aren’t on

Smaller than mine and oh god I am gone

You laid in bed next to your girlfriend, Chrissy, at one of your “sleepovers” the two of you always have. Your parents both think that you're just friends, best friends probably, considering how much time you both spend together. But the two of you know the truth, the secret of your relationship kept hidden from the judgemental nobodies that live in Hawkins, Indiana. 

You felt extremely out of place in your girlfriend’s all pink and frilly bedroom, your style mainly consisting of dark colors and nerdy graphic tees. Truthfully, you and Chrissy couldn’t be more different. But somehow, that’s what made you so perfect for each other. 

Chrissy’s hand slid over to you, her hand grasping yours. You felt your heart flutter at the feeling, her smaller hand behind engulfed by your own. You smiled to yourself, just savoring the feeling of being close to her. You wouldn’t trade this for anything.

I wanna be with her all day

I'm a bitch to everyone else anyway

It's hard to keep a tight leash on my head

All I wanna do is kiss her lips in my bed

You smiled up at Chrissy, watching cheer practice as you sat in the bleachers. She winked at you, causing butterflies to erupt inside your stomach. You felt entranced while watching your girlfriend, your eyes glued on her effortless movements and tricks. But the tight shirt and short skirt did help quite a bit too. 

You were pulled out of your not very holy thoughts when she walked over to you, a bright smile on her face, like always. 

“Hey, sweetheart. You did amazing today,” you said, smiling back at her.

“Thanks, baby!” she replied, squeaking in surprise as you hugged her.

“Y/n, you know we can’t be affectionate in public. I don’t want anyone to-,” 

“Shh, don’t worry about that. Friends can hug. This can be a friendly thing.”

She rolled her eyes, but smiled at you nonetheless, not making a move to push you away. You looked around the gym, making sure no one was looking at the two of you, before you placed a quick kiss on her cheek. Chrissy’s cheeks instantly turned bright red.

“I- you- I mean- ugh,” Chrissy tried to speak, but you had successfully flustered her, taking away her abilities to form words. 

You simply smiled, finally removing your arms from her as you heard footsteps approaching. 

“What is she doing here?” Veronica, a bratty and rich cheerleader, said. 

“Yeah, why’d you invite the freak?” Betty, Veronica’s little sidekick, added. 

The two of them glared at you, looking at you as if you were worse than the shit on their shoes.

“Guys, she’s my friend. You know this,” Chrissy said, looking a bit upset, but not wanting to start something.

Veronica scoffed, “Okay, but just look at her. I mean she’s clearly a lesbian. She probably only comes here to look up our skirts.”

Betty laughed, and Chrissy’s face fell. You, on the other hand, were beginning to get pissed off. This wasn’t the first time Chrissy’s supposed “friends” had been a bitch to you, and you were having a hard time ignoring it. You were about to say something, when Chrissy cut in.

“So what if she is? Hmm? What, you have a problem gay people?”

Betty rolled her eyes, “Obviously. All queers are freaks. I wouldn’t be caught dead even talking to one.”

“And yet here you are,” Chrissy replied.

Your eyes widened, and a proud smirk grew on your face as you watched Veronica and Betty’s jaws drop. Chrissy simply smiled and then turned to you, pulling you into a kiss. 

“Y/n is my girlfriend,” she said, smirking at the girls after she pulled away,

They scrunched their faces up in disgust, walking away from the two of you. You could’ve sworn you heard one of them mutter “freaks” under their breath. 

“I thought you weren’t ready to come out yet?” you asked, turning to Chrissy, your smile never leaving your face.

“Fuck it,” she said, pulling you closer and kissing you again.

’Cause my girl's made of peaches and soft grass and the moonlight

Every touch reminds me, it's alright

Can't ignore the rest of forever

Can you stay and make me feel better?

“How are you so perfect?” you asked, looking down at Chrissy, who was currently resting her head against your chest.

Chrissy turned her head to look up at you. “What do you mean? I’m not perfect.”

“But you are. I mean you’re the nicest person I’ve ever seen, you’re so much smarter than you give yourself credit for, and you’re just amazing at every single thing you try. Not to mention you’re the hottest girl on this planet.”

Chrissy blushed, a small smile on her face. You smirked to yourself when you noticed she was embarrassed. You knew she didn’t have the best self image, so you took it upon yourself to constantly remind her how perfect she truly was. And every single time, you got to see her blush. It was a win-win.  

“You’re just saying that,” she said, burying her face into your neck.

“I’m not. I really believe that you are the most perfect girl to ever walk this planet. And I’m the luckiest person ever to just get to be with you.”

“You’re wrong. It’s the other way around,” she said, lifting her head to look at you. “I’m the lucky one.”

“Really?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “But I’m a total geek! I mean half my wardrobe is Star Wars shirts, I play D&D, and I still regularly go to the arcade. You’re so out of my league, it’s unbelievable.”

She huffed, her smile never faltering. “Well, I just happen to like geeks. And you just happen to be my favorite one.”

This time it was your turn to blush, your face growing warm at her words. She simply smiled, leaning in to press a kiss on your cheek, leaving a pink lipstick mark on your face.

Make me want to believe it's okay

Whisper in my room when it's so late

I'm so tired of being exhausted

All I want is her to get lost in

“Baby, it’s time to wake up. We’re gonna be late to school,” Chrissy said, shaking you lightly.

You grumbled, wrapping your arms around her tighter and pulling her closer. You buried your face into her neck, not letting her out of your grip.

“Don’t wanna get up. Too tired. Besides, you’re too comfy, I can’t get up,” you mumbled, pressing soft kisses against her neck.

Chrissy giggled at the feeling, leaning down to kiss the top of your head.

“But we’re gonna be late. It’s already 7:30.”

You huffed, lifting your head to look at her. “I don’t care. Don’t wanna get up.”

“What, you think we should skip?”

Smiling, you nodded your head, kissing her cheek. “What an amazing idea. We can just stay here all day. Besides, we can have so much more fun here than we could at school.”

“Y/n!” Chrissy chastised, her face turning bright red. 

“What? I just got a new Atari. That’s way more fun than health class. What did you think I meant?”

“Uhh, nothing,” she said, looking away and still blushing madly. 

You smirked and sat up, pulling her into your lap and kissing her. “I guess we could do that too.”

I can't describe all the changes I felt

The past couple years really put me through hell

But she cools me down

You hugged Chrissy tightly as she sobbed into your chest. She had just quit the cheer team, and she was utterly miserable. You didn’t know what happened or why she had done it, and you couldn’t even ask since she was currently crying. She loved cheer, everytime she held her pom poms and performed one of her carefully perfected routines, the smile on her face was like no other. She was always happiest when she was cheering. So why would she just quit?

“What happened, sweetheart? You can talk to me,” you whispered, moving your hand in circles on her back to comfort her.

She slowly pulled her head up once her tears slowed, her eyes red and puffy, tears staining her face and her nose dripping. You frowned and grabbed a tissue from your nightstand, wiping her face clean. She leaned into your touch as your hand brushed the tissue over her face.

“Veronica and Betty told the rest of the squad. About us. They were threatening to report me to the coach to try and get me kicked off. They said they didn’t feel safe with a freak like me in the locker room. It was just getting worse and worse. I- I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t want to do something I would regret, so I just left.”

“Chrissy,” you said softly, your heart shattering at her confession. “I’m so sorry, darling. I- I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault. You weren’t ready to come out yet. I- I really hope you don’t feel like I forced you to.”

She shook her head, grabbing your hand. “It’s not. It was my decision. I told them about us. It was my choice, and now I have to deal with the consequences.”

“But if we weren’t together, you would still be-,”

“Don’t,” Chrissy cut you off. “Don’t finish that sentence. I want to be with you. I’ll always want to be with you. I knew it was going to be hard, and yeah maybe it was worse than I expected, but I wouldn’t change anything. No matter what happens, I’ll always choose you. Because… I love you.” 

Your eyes widened and a smile overtook your face. “Do you mean that?”

“I do. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said, leaning in towards her.

You felt your heart stop when your lips met hers.

Keeps my feet on the ground when I get too high

And she makes me feel like this could be something real

And I do know why

“I have something for you,” you said, reaching into your backpack.

You and Chrissy were sitting on her bed, working on homework together. You wanted to wait for a more special occasion for what you were about to do, but you were getting impatient. Your fingers wrapped around the velvet box in your bag, pulling it out.

Chrissy gasped when she saw it. “Is that what I think it is…?”

You smiled and shook your head. “Not exactly, we’re still a bit too young for that.” 

You pulled the box open, revealing a small silver ring with a pink gem in the middle. 

“It’s a promise ring. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, and I hope you want that too. It’s not much, the gem’s not even real, I couldn’t afford that, but I can get you a better one once-”

Chrissy cut you off by taking your face in her hands and kissing you. When she pulled away, you saw she was smiling brightly and her eyes were watering.

“It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

“So… is that a yes?”

She giggled, nodding her head. “Yes, obviously!”

You pulled the ring out and slipped it onto her finger. She sniffled and wiped her eyes, and you smiled at her.

“I’ll always love you. Until the end of time,” you said, leaning in so your forehead was pressed against hers. 

’Cause my girl’s made of peaches and soft grass and the moonlight

Every touch reminds me, it's alright

Can’t ignore the rest of forever

Can you stay and make me feel better?

The years went by, and yet for the two of you it felt as if no time had passed at all. You still felt like you were in the honeymoon phase, each and every moment spent together making you feel as giddy as it did in the beginning. Once you both graduated, you went to Indiana State together, and you shared a dorm room.

Living together was one of the best things you had ever experienced. You didn’t have to be scared of what people would say or worry about parents walking in. You were on your own, and you were free to be yourselves. No more hiding, no more secrets. You and Chrissy were in love and you didn’t care who knew it. 

College blew by, and soon you were graduating. Life was just about to begin. After you both received your diplomas and you went outside to meet up with your family and friends, you pulled Chrissy aside. She looked confused, but didn’t question it as you led her towards a secluded area.

“What’s going on? Why’re we all the way over here?”

Instead of answering, you pulled out a small box from your pocket and got down on one knee. Chrissy gasped, moving her hand to cover her mouth in surprise. You smiled up at her as you opened the box, revealing a sparkling diamond ring.

“Chrissy, every single day I’ve spent with you has been magical. Meeting you completely changed my life, and I’m forever grateful for all the moments we’ve shared. You showed me pieces of myself that I never knew were there. I’m a better person because of you. I love you so much. More than I’ve ever loved someone before. And I never want to let you go. I want to spend the rest of forever with you. Chrissy Cunnigham, will you make me the happiest girl in existence, and be my wife?”

“Yes! Yes, of course!” she said, smiling widely as she grabbed your hands and pulled you up off the ground.

You slid the ring on her finger and then she wrapped her arms around your neck, pulling you into a kiss. You wrapped your arms around her waist, holding her closer. You didn’t want to pull away, even if you were growing out of breath. Cheers coming from behind you forced the two of you apart. 

Steve, Eddie, Nancy, Robin, Jonathan, and Argyle stood there, smiling at the two of you. Chrissy flushed red and buried her face in your neck.

“So…?” Steve asked, seeming even more invested in this than you were.

“She said yes!” you said, wrapping your arm around Chrissy’s waist. 

“That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you guys!” Steve said, smiling proudly.

“I better be the Maid of Honor!” Robin shouted.

“Only if I get to be the best man!” Steve replied.

You simply smiled, watching your friends bicker over who would get to be what at your wedding. You smiled down at your girlfriend fiancé, overwhelmed with all the love you felt for her. You were going to get to spend the rest of your life with Chrissy, starting a family and growing old together. You couldn’t think of a better future. Or a better person to spend it with. Everything was going to be perfect. 

Make me want to believe it's okay

Seeing her at home when it's so late

I'm so tired of being exhausted

All I want is her to get lost in

tags: @uxorresim @larawrrites @the-ultimate-theatre-kid

if your name is crossed off, it means i can't tag you!

#imagine #imagines #x reader #oneshot #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x reader #stranger things oneshot #stranger things fanfic #stranger things imagine #chrissy cunningham #chrissy cunningham x reader #chrissy Cunningham oneshot #chrissy Cunningham imagine #chrissy cunningham fanfic #chrissy Cunningham fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction

[zaddyazula]

i am actually very, very worried for kids today who have grown up on this internet. when i was younger i was watching people play fucking yandere simulator and 60 seconds and the sims. now they’re watching andrew tate say they need ten thousand super cars to be successful in life.

my 11 year old brother (with access to tiktok the dreaded thing) is watching these sigma giga chad males and thinking that is who he should be. he is consuming insane amounts of homophobic, transphobic, racist, islamophobic, anti-semitic, fatphobic and misogynistic media, and openly repeats a majority of it to me. seeing him make highly inappropriate jokes not only for his age but in general is not cool or entertaining, as he thinks they are completely acceptable. he parrots this shit with his friends, who all share the same viewpoint as him. when i was his age, i was discovering bisexuality existed. i used to keep a diary for a short period of time when i was in year 5 (10 years old) and one line in it was: ‘i don’t know if i am gay, lesbian, bi or trans’ (bless my 10 year old self). i had no hatred for people in the lgbtq+ community, because i was largely unaware of it, outside of a couple people i knew. there wasn’t tiktok to tell young kids how to think or how to treat people. the amount of shit my brother has come out to me with, even insulting me with. literally last night my 11 YEAR OLD brother called me a whore. ELEVEN (11). multiple times he’s called me a dishwasher, told me to get back in the kitchen, called me a slut, a whore, etc. etc. i used to take it as a joke, and not think too much of it, but i’m starting to think it’s not a joke at all, just genuine misogyny. he’s come up to me and called black people monkeys, called muslims suicide bombers, and every time i tell him to not say that because it’s extremely offensive and even threaten to take his xbox off him and tell our mum or someone at school, he doesn’t care. he literally just does not give a shit. and to be perfectly honest, the school system to tackle discrimination is fucking horrendous. when i was at school a (white) girl in my year called someone the n word, and what did the school do? absolutely nothing. people confronted her about it (rightfully) which came off as ‘bullying’ and she didn’t have to go to any lessons and got to stay in the building where the nurse was. at my brother’s school this year, a boy in his year (another white 11 year old) called someone the n word. he got moved into the other class. that’s it. both of our schools claimed to be “diverse” and anti-xenophobia (even though my school had a maximum 3 poc staff). like how do you even deal with this?

my (white cishet) brother thinks it’s okay to say the n word. he thinks it’s okay to be islamophobic. he thinks it’s okay to be misogynistic. i actually have no idea how to deal with him, or the other kids his age. when i was his age i don’t even think i knew the n word existed. i certainly didn’t know the word misogyny.

as soon as you try to stand up to these fucking devil children, they will hurl some sort of slur at you. some insane insult which leaves you standing there like ‘how the fuck do they know that’. i doubt my brother or other kids his age actually understand what some of the things they say mean, and just say them because they know they’re bad words.

what the fuck do i even do with him. we come from a white irish catholic family. if my grandparents knew i was some inkling of lgbtq+ they probably would’ve disowned me. my own mother outed me to my uncles and her boyfriend’s daughter and her boyfriend. when i started crying when she told me this, she didn’t understand. she thought i was just upset about the fact that my nan was dead. one of my friends nearly outed me to a very homophobic kid in my year when i was 12. and it sort of leaves me wishing i had never come out. life would be so much easier if people just assumed i was cishet. but that’s not possible. i thought people would be supportive. though my own family and friends have openly been homophobic and transphobic around me, seemingly forgetting about me.

my brother calls me gay as an insult, and despite the fact i insist i’m not gay (i am) he just laughs and moves on until the cycle repeats. i don’t really want to be some saviour white person who thinks they can solve racism by wagging their finger at someone and then forgetting about it. i actually want to help my brother realise he should stop fucking saying what he’s saying. if that means me fucking taking his xbox off him and putting it in the loft then so fucking be it. i genuinely have no idea how to help the younger generation who have grown up on racist tiktoks rather than beheading videos on early youtube.

so yeah. this isn’t what i usually post but whatever. i am genuinely worried.

#zad talks #not mgs #xenophobia #islamophobia #tw racism #tw antisemitism #tw misogyny #tw sexism #tw fatphobia #tw transphobes #tw transphobia #transphobia #help

[silverjirachi]

For the pride ask 13, 14, 25

13. Do you choose to reclaim slurs? Why or why not?

Yes because every single term used to describe gay people besides “homosexual” was literally a slur and always have been. In the late 1900s this was “inverted,” later on it was “fairy” and “gay” and “queer” and all the terms we now use today. Because any words used to describe us were always to describe us as degenerate. It’s important that we have reclaimed them. The fact that there is a sliding scale now between “worse” slurs for gay people and common slurs that gay people use to describe themselves (and people outside the community too- like gay isnt a slur anymore) is a sign that it is working.

14. How do things like upbringing or neurodivergency affect your identity?

I just touched on this in a previous ask but catholicism made it take a long long time and I missed out on what could have been probably a lot more formative young gay experiences. Being ND probably affects it but idk how.

25. What queer discourse frustrates you the most?

Absolutely any gatekeeping of other peoples’ identities. People can have multiple contradicting labels that also do not contradict bc thats just how humans work. The one that makes me most angry is people saying bisexual lesbians can’t/shouldnt be a thing. I think this is because I would like to be a bisexual gay man and you don’t really see that one under fire ever. Not to mention how gender can play into that.

Ask me gay shit!

#asks #pride asks #anon

[pcrfectstorms]

if eddie was supposedly queer then what was "chrissy this is for you" lol

Oh little anon, when i tell you, you picked the WRONG bitch, I mean you picked the wrong bitch! firstly, cowardly to hide behind a grey face and not expose your blatant homophobia with your whole chest, but we move...

Let's take this in two parts, shall, we? Lets look at Stranger Thing's use of the word 'Freak' which from season one of the show has been used as a replacement for 'Fagg*t' the first instance being against Will Byers, when Joyce is reporting him missing and goes onto to explain to Hopper how Will's been bullied by his peers and his own father, where she explicitly uses the F slur to explain it, and from there it's been consistently used as a placeholder for it. Will is canonically confirmed gay by Noah, and to everyone else who knows how to read queer coding in his coming out scene to his brother in the pizza shop in volume 2. Eddie refers to himself on more than one occasion as a 'freak' - particularly in the boat house scene where he looks directly at Robin, a canonically confirmed lesbian and says to her, 'hunt the freak, right?' you can see the fucking pain in that boys face as he says it, and the gentle look Robin gives him in nodding, it's very clear to read that as them both having the understanding of what that meant, because while your little cishet brain may be incapable of critically reading subtext in media, us queers are very well versed at recognising our own, both on screen in queer coded storylines and off-screen in real life, and in this scene those two things meshed perfectly to demonstrate it.

Also, whether or not the nod to Queer Flagging was intentional or not, it was absolutely read that way by most of the Queer audience. Hanky Code was just one of the methods of Queer flagging that existed (and still exists today) which is predominantly used by Queer men (read: gay, bi, pan etc) to flag their sexual positions and interests at a time when it wasn't safe for them to be openly out without endangering their lives. Of course, bandana's were a big part of Metalhead culture too, but subcultures like metal, punk, etc, all these counter culture movements have a extensive and rich history of intersecting with the queer community. They are not mutually exclusive. Metal has massive ties to gender nonconformity and queerness, with bands like Judas Priest (who's lead singe Rob Halford was a gay man who came out in '98) who Eddie has a pin of on his battle vest, and while in '86 he wasn't out publicly, speculation about his sexuality had been around then too.

And all that is before we look at Joseph Quinns performance as Eddie and the little way in which he shamelessly flirted with both chrissy cunningham and steve harrington - which joe has confirmed at multiple convention panels that Eddie was flirting with Steve - he even, at the German con last weekend said that him and steve would have been a good fit, romantically.

BISEXUAL PEOPLE EXIST, PANSEXUAL PEOPLE EXIST. And if you can't see that not only are you homophobic, participating in bi/pan erasure but you're also just frankly fucking dumb.

And finally, if you think 'this is for you chrissy' meant he was somehow harbouring romantic feelings for her rather that he wanted to avenge for her murder you are delusional, and honestly giving Eddie ZERO respect if you honestly believe that it was because he fancied her and not because he was traumatized and guild ridden over not being able to do anything other than run away. This was him saying, I'm sorry Chrissy, I wish I could have saved you, but fuck it, your death won't be in vain we're going to save this goddamn town and burn the fucker who took your life.

I don't engage in ship wars, I don't give a fuck if you ship hellcheer, or steddie, or whatever other eddie ship, but i do give a fuck if you're going to come into my house and disrespect my son like this. DO BETTER.

#❛ shit talking ❜ [ ooc ] #sorry for the long rant my mutual pals but fuck me this anon PISSED me off #also to anon don't bother sending anymore they'll be deleted

[ihateliterature]

Well, Twitter discourse was... something, today, especially when you meet a new specimen in the willd, the fujo radfem

I wish I was joking

You know how transphobes started the anti-fujo discourse to attack trans men? Well they are on the other side of the fence too

It all started with this. The slur, the attitude, easy to spot radfem, like a clown in a funeral house

I see that unlike anti-fujos, the fujo radfems not only believe that women have a place in bl (a very reasonable and correct thing btw) but that bl is FOR women, that anyone else (including gay men) apparently creating and consuming it should be grateful towards women for it

Homoerotic art has existed for centuries but that's for another time

Now, I've never seen someone like this before. I've seen fujo lesbians in the past that gave me bad vibes, but nothing so on the nose (I count myself lucky)

So, like you do with all stupid shit you see on twt, you qrt, and she answered me

Now, this woman was arguing with the literal walls. Because she responded to nothing I said and put words in my mouth

Why would it bother me that most bl creators are women, I stated from the beginning that I support fujos

Like all radfems she seemed to be angry at no one and everyone at the same time

At one point I literally asked her who she is arguing with and she deflected the question back to me

This one is pretty on the nose too. Radfems believe that mysoginy is the be all end all of oppression and, in relation to transmascs and trans men, they believe that we have no say in any talks about oppression unless we accept being misgendered and let cis women do all the talking for us

For anyone who has seen the anti-fujo mob, it is clear that although they are severely mysoginistic, their fury is equally (if not more in some cases) about transphobia at it's core. In the western fandom, this discourse has started from transphobic parts of fandom with the "fujoshi to trans man pipeline", a popular transphobic cracktheory that claims that trans men are nothing but straight women fetishizing gay men

For more information I recommend https://www.fujoshi.info/

And the creator's other social media, Sam is one of the most knowledgeable about the subject in the English speaking fandom. This is what he has to say about the foundation of anti-fujos:

Anyway. Just like me, many people are not aware that we have terfs in our midst, so I thought I would share this for awareness and in case someone needs it one day

#fujoshi #fudanshi #fujin #pro fujoshi #pro fujin #twitter #transmasculine

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Rant on the fujoshi/yaoi whatever...

I second all those confo.

Of course there will be "mlm yaoi fetishist" but come on. I'm a yaoi fan since my early teens and let me tell you I'm nearly 40yo. I've seen some cringy shit (and lord knows I love a good cringy yaoi like in my teens, it's like watching American Pie all over again XD) and you can straight away see if it's weird fetish as in eewww hetero-ppl-disgusting eyeroll or just two gay characters. Often the fetishism as you call it comes from very young persons who didn't have yet the time or possibility to process their own orientation. As in, it's new, it's different, I like it, let's go crazy !

We need lgbtq representation, like yesterday. And this is why, my good dudes, fanworks lately have seen a huuuge spike on bi and trans representation. Because it's starting to work ! And as a cishet woman, I'm really happy for this. Why ? Because I like diversity, and it's not because I'm that cishet girl that I can't enjoy works with a lesbian or trans romance ya know ? And I also love a good steamy sex smut, so it's not exclusive or whatever. People need to learn and process that Lgbtq is not inherently sexual, as much as hetero is not inherently romantic. There's plenty of relationships out there. Why do yall think hurt/comfort and sickfics and coffee shop AU have been the shit for years ? Because we crave love and care and gentleness. We also crave representation, to see different things that are maybe or maybe not allowed in our life, our country and so on.

If people still think anything gay is obligatory sexual, it is because of our upbringing and societal norms, especially religious : gay bad brrrrr ! It has been so drilled into us that people forcibly see lgbtq matter as SEX. Newsflash : it's not. Why a hetero work is ok, but not a gay work ? Please, take the time to reflect on this.

I mean, I didn't see anyone dissing Twilight or 50 shades of grey back in the day when those books were at their peak. It was hetero, so it was ok, even though there was quite a lot of problems in there. Give me a gay Twilight that had the same dynamics ? No way it would get famous. Moral guardians would shit a brick.

Yaoi was initially written by women for women, it was an escape from a too-constricting society. It was also a defiance. This genre, in itself, is a lot of things you cannot just put into "FETISHIT BOX DO NOT OPEN". I don't have the will to expand on this, but know that it helped girls and boys alike to escape and find other representations in life where you had to be married before 25yo to not be considered worthless. And Japan isn't the only country like this, thus the wide following, the fanworks and so on. Today when being woke and offended is the new black, some people will go after you telling you it's offensive. But everything is offensive for those guys ! It's wild. Yaoi and their readers is so much more than that. And sometimes, it's just an incredibly bad sex scene or steamy photo of 2 dolls touching their dong (I've yet to see one with the anaconda lol). So what ?

Then again, works with gay pairing are as old as time and were erased as much as possible... I mean, could we maybe speak about Achilles and his good friend Patroclus ? I'd die with laughter on this one, and it's juste the more famous.

Anyway, I could write a fucking book on the subject with plenty of tangents, so don't think that is all I would have to say on this, because the subject is wider than you think. It touches on escape, wishing for something different than what the world has to offer you, feminism, representation, and simply, just enjoyment.

(I don't use fujoshi to describe us because it is a mysoginist slur, even though it had been reclaimed in the last few years. I've been there before, and I don't reclaim it, but more power to you if you do)

Rant ended, I just needed to get it out even if it's not the more articulated. Publish it or not Mod, I send all my love to you because you really need love to put up with crazies like us !

Maybe you should make a list with the dead horse cyclic confos : Culvr, Yaoi, M3lonpan, Is it racist to have a black doll, American hobbyist are mean, European are stupid and so on, shall I pay F&F, Will D0llshe send their dolls. I would have a blast ! But I'm a gremlin, so don't mind me.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions #BJD Characters

[psychicbirdstarlight]

If you are young, gay and too often on your phone listen up

Go off the tumblr discourse websites and go meet LGBT people in real life. These online spaces do you no good and I say this with love.

I know for some people online spaces are the only option, because there simply ARE NO queer people things around, but even if there is just something as mundane as a queer brunch around GO THERE. Because these online spaces are (SO often) sinkholes for the most socially inept, insecure and toxic individuals of our community. The climate in these spaces is NOTHING like what you get when you are actually meeting local queers in person. Today I went to the queer choir in my city and I met a lovely 40 something gay man who grew up in APARTHEID South Africa. Let me tell you I got some PERSPECTIVE today. And he wasn't the only one. There also was an older lesbian who told me about the queer scene of my hometown from before I was born (!!!). I feel so special knowing that I am following in the footsteps of these absolut badasses. That they are MY queer family! I will never forget this evening and it was just my FIRST TIME GOING THERE.

You are anxious that your asexuality might not be accepted in this next discord reddit cloud? Well in reality people don't really ask why you're there. They just assume you are in the right place, BECAUSE YOU CAME. That's how easy it is.

You think you are all alone. You think you don't belong, because you constantly have to defend yourself against these assholes who are always WAITING for you to say something wrong so they can bully you. But these HATERS do nothing else but sit in their rooms all day every day becoming more and more bitter over the fact that they never stepped out of their comfort zone and it made them fucking miserable. And now they're just picking on people with bullshit like 'YoU sHoUlDn'T uSe QuEeR aS a LaBeL bC iT iS a SlUr'

FUCK THAT. U gon dtart crying or what?

You know how many slurs I heard today? Used absolutely casually? I don't even know myself. Because the real people who want to build community know what you MEAN and they are actively trying to understand you CORRECTLY, instead of looking for reasons to label you as a bigot of some sort (ridiculous).

So if you needed a sign, this is fucking it. Look up if there are any queer spaces in your vicinity. Doesn't matter what it is. Queer choir, knitting fucking quidditch whatever. Just GO. And leave these toxic online sapces that do nothing but give you a lot of vocabulary for your loneliness. Your people are already out there and they are excited to meet you <3

#queer stuff #lgbt pride #queer spaces #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #gaypride #gay culture #gay #queer family #long post

[juanmarailgun]

Today I learned on my city (City of Buenos Aires, Province of Buenos Aires, Argentina) there's this very curious bar, whose name uses the Spanish word "Marica" closest thing we have for the F word. This makes the name of this place (I apologize for being a cishet using the word, albeit censored, I'm just transmitting the info) Fa***tcafe.

Unlike what you may think based on that name, this is an inclusive place, what little info I have is that the owners and majority of the staff are LGBT+, and of course they have full support for inclusivity like this. I love that they grabbed the word and owned up to it, the word has no power on them, and that's beautiful. (There's still one other word that equates to the Q slur but that has been reclaimed years ago by the general public.)

The sad part is the story that brought this place to my attention. As of right now, a high profile trial is coming to an end, the accused people are a couple of lesbians, they killed Lucio, the toddler son of one of them (from a previous hetero relationship) whom was then revealed to have been repeatedly abused, physically, emotionally and, yes, sexually too. The final verdict was given yesterday, a life sentence for each (misleading name. Life sentence in Argentina means 30-ish years. Yes, it's bullsh*t). And today, a lone homophobe went to Maricafé to repeatedly and loudly claim "Justice for Lucio" repeatedly, adding a threat of coming back with 40 friends to burn the place down.

This is such a big issue because it happens all the time. LGBT people can't be criminals, can't make mistakes, can't be wrong, because if a single non-hetero person does any of those things, the whole community suffers, because homophbes can and will claim their anger is justified. This is just a repeat of the 1950s PSAs where they explained that a child molester was "The Homosexual [Trademark]". It has to stop. Horrible people can be hetero, can be gay, can be trans, can be literally anything.

Thanks for coming to my rant where I'm saying obvious things, I'm just seething with anger and needed to scream into the Tumblr void.

Also yes, I know I could have said the uncensored F and Q words within this context, but I'd rather not.

#argentina #maricafe #maricafé #lgbtq #lgbtqiia+ #lgbtpeople #rants n rambles #lgbt pride

[everlarkficexchange]

Hold Me Up

Prompt 42. Group of friends. Economic disaster, no jobs; eventually in desperation someone in the group suggests making a porno for $, the idea takes off, as they work on a script and put out ideas, a lot becomes clear, like who has kinks, who has tried a lot, and that one is an inexperienced virgin. Does the writing experience have consequences to the group dynamic, will they actually film and sell it, will they stay friends? Are any couples or siblings part of the group? Are secrets revealed through brainstorming?

Submitted by @567inpanem

Author: JLaLa

Rated M

Summary: “What the hell are you suggesting?” Gale asked.

“I thought it was obvious,” the woman next to him said. “I’m suggesting we make a porno.”

Strapped for cash, a group of friends—plus two strangers—decide to go all out.

Multiple pairings, and of course, Everlark. 

“Hold me up in the palm of your hand Lying to you is a river of sin Your metaphors, your silent calls Your feelings are too real…”

                                                -Live

Hold Me Up

Part One

Katniss closed her eyes as the rush of hot water hit her face. It had been a hell of a day.

Her boss cut her hours at the record store due to the lack of sales. She had done everything short of offering to blow the man—wouldn’t have worked, he was gay—to get as many hours as possible. However, everyone was suffering due to Panem’s economic disaster and Heavensbee’s hands were tied.

All she wanted to do tonight was eat the leftover Chinese in the fridge, binge watch Bridgerton for the hundredth time and use her vibrator until she climaxed to the image of Simon Basset eating her out—

“Katniss!” There was a quick knock before the door opened. “Sorry, but I have to piss like a racehorse—”

She pulled back the shower curtain to the sight of her roommate and friend, Peeta, unzipping his jeans.

“Seriously, couldn’t you do that somewhere else? Like, maybe get a plastic cup or do it in the sink?”

“Last time I did, Gale totally flipped out on me,” her friend replied. “It’s not like you haven’t seen my dick before. You’ve seen it plenty of times, most of the time it was erect.”

The peril of living with two boys was that you always seemed surrounded by morning wood…any kind of wood really.

“Fine.” Katniss closed the curtain. “Try not to be loud about it though.”

“How am I loud while I pee?”

“‘Oooh fuck, finally…I’ve been holding that in all day!’ Katniss mimicked mockingly. “You’d think that you were doing something else instead of emptying your bladder.”

“Honestly, sometimes a good pee is better than sex,” Peeta retorted. “I don’t think that I’ll be able to stop it once it starts so just sing something really loud or you’ll be hearing me hitting the porcelain pretty hard.”

Katniss walked under the shower to rinse her hair and belted out the first song that came to her.

“I got a new life

You would hardly recognize me

I’m so glad

How could a person like me care for you?

Why, why do I bother

When you’re not the one for me

Is enough enough?”

“I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes…” Peeta sang along and Katniss giggled hearing his melodic baritone. “I saw the sign…life is demanding without understanding—”

“We should start a group,” she offered as she turned the nozzle and the water stopped. “Especially since I’ll likely be laid off soon.”

“Oh shit! I’m sorry, Katniss.” A hand peeked through the curtain, holding a towel and she took it, quickly wrapping it around herself. “We’re all taking it up the butt, aren’t we?”

She pulled back the curtain and stepped out. “What do you mean?”

“Haymitch and Effie will probably have to close down with everything happening,” he informed her. “The rent for the bakery space is just too much for them. I mean, we still have our regulars, but they’re not making enough to pay me to make a dozen danishes and scones.”

“That sucks.” Peeta was still wearing his apron around his waist, a red bandana covering his blond locks, along with his usual baking uniform of a fitted white tee and jeans. “I know how much you love that job. Not to mention, Haymitch and Effie are pretty kickass.”

“Well, at least we have Gale,” her friend replied as he opened the door, letting her step out first before putting a companionable arm around her waist. “Old reliable Gale—”

There was a cough and they found Gale sitting on their couch lighting up their emergency joint.

This was bad.

++++++

“My whole department was pretty much eliminated,” Gale explained once he stepped out of his daze. “They led us in, one by one, into that small office and gave us the whole spiel about making cutbacks before handing us our severance checks. This will hold me for about six months of my piece of the rent—”

“This is probably the worst time to tell you,” Katniss started. “But Heavensbee reduced my hours at the store and I’ll probably be getting the boot soon.”

“Effie and Haymitch can’t afford to keep me at the bakery,” Peeta told him. “They’re also likely to lose the business, too.”

Gale nodded, elbows on his knees and hands clasped together. “Well, we’re fucked.”

“Now there’s that positive attitude that we know and love,” a sharp feminine voice said.

The three looked up to find the rest of their friends stepping into the apartment led by Johanna, who lived across the hall from them. Madge, her roommate, followed in with a pizza box and the group was finished out with Finnick, who lived downstairs and was—until today—Gale’s teammate.

“Well, we’re fucked!” Gale repeated, his voice hitching up at the end. He looked to Johanna. “Good enough?”

“We’re all getting it,” Madge said, sitting next to him calmly. “The Forever 21 I’m working at is closing. So, I’m screwed, and I won’t even have severance like you and Finnick.”

“I have thousands of dollars in debt over the camera equipment I just bought,” Finnick told her. “I’m supposed to be working on my documentary.” Their friend was a budding director. “Now, I’ll be using the rest of my severance to pay it off.”

Johanna plopped down in their lone seat, putting her feet on the table.

“Not that I don’t love you guys, but I’ve been out of a job for months, so your sob stories mean nothing to me,” she said. Grabbing the joint, their friend took a long inhale and breathe out in relief. “The job market is non-existent at this point.”

“God, maybe I should’ve pushed on blowing Heavensbee,” Katniss muttered.

Finnick snorted. “What?”

“He’s gay, but probably not getting any,” she replied, next to Peeta. “If you close your eyes, it feels the same.”

“You might have something there,” Johanna suddenly said, her oak eyes contemplative.

Peeta glared at her. “Not funny. You really want Katniss turning tricks for rent?”

“Hardly,” their friend replied. “No offense—” Johanna looked to Katniss. “—you alone have no sex appeal, and this is coming from a full-fledged lesbian.” She turned to Madge. “She would—with the pouty lips and the big titties. Not to mention those golden locks. Put a little red hood on her and you’ll have those Fairy Tale freaks begging to see what’s underneath.”

Katniss crossed her arms. “Well, thank you for telling me that I’m undesirable.”

“I didn’t say that.” Johanna looked between Katniss and Peeta. “I said you alone would have no sex appeal but put you with him—” She nodded at Peeta. “—or her.” A hand waved over at Madge. “People will pay big money to see that. A nice little ying and yang.”

“What the hell are you suggesting?” Gale asked.

“I thought it was obvious,” the woman next to him said. “I’m suggesting we make a porno.”

++++++

Several beers in, the idea started to make sense.

“Babe, if this thing took off, we could pay off the camera equipment,” Annie, Finnick’s fiancée, said. She had joined them a little after the major freak out over Johanna’s idea. “Also, you could get some experience in handling the equipment and I could get experience with the boom mic.”

“That is true,” Finnick mused.

“Guys, do you know how many different types of porn there is out there? How would we make one that people would be interested in?” Gale asked. His voice had taken on a rough slur, five bottles in, as he leaned against a drunken Madge.

“Simple,” Johanna smirked. “We do our research. This neighborhood is full of not-so-reputable places; it’s why rent used to be freakishly low. We can ask what men and women would like to see. Also, we’re all decent looking.”

“What about the fact that you’re talking about us having sex with each other?” Peeta asked, eyes bloodshot. Katniss laid on his lap, singing along to the music on her phone. “No offense, but I don’t want to have sex with you. You scare me a little.”

“Well, who would you want to have sex with?” Madge asked with a buzzed grin.

“Easy.” Peeta looked at the giggling woman on his lap. “Katniss.”

“Really now?” Finnick leaned forward in interest. “Why her?”

“I’m comfortable with her,” he explained. “We were each other’s first kiss, granted we were only five—but also, she’s seen my dick plenty of times.”

Katniss drunkenly waved her finger at him. “I’m not scared of it…”

“Dude, why aren’t you together?” Annie asked.

Peeta shrugged. “Seemed better to stay friends.”

“Those two are such chickens,” Gale called out. “They just tiptoe…and tiptoe…and it’s all like ‘I think Katniss is beautiful’…or ‘I want to have Peeta’s babies’…and I’m just like why don’t you just fuck already?”

“Fine.” Katniss slid onto the floor and held her hand out, palm down. “We’ll do this. I get to fuck Peeta because everyone is so invested…but we all have to be in this.” She looked at the rest of the group, her eyes landing on Peeta. “Do we agree?”

Johanna placed her hand over Katniss’. “I’m in.”

Madge followed immediately. “Me, too.”

“Fine,” Gale muttered before his hand landed on the pile.

“We’re down,” Finnick said, adding his hand.

“But only as the filmmakers,” Annie added before placing her hand on top of her fiancé’s.

Katniss looked to Peeta; nervousness laced in her grey eyes. “And you?”

He examined her, almost losing himself in her gaze before placing his hand down to seal the pact.

“Let’s do this.”

++++++

“Do you like oral?” Katniss asked the scantily-clad waitress. “Giving? Getting?”

“Yes, to both,” the pretty blonde answered.

Johanna and Gale had gotten to work quickly, both making up the questionnaire that they were using for research. While that was happening, Annie and Finnick put up an ad looking for available actors and actresses to add to their production.

Two days ago, their questionnaire had revealed that threesomes, double penetration, and girl-on-girl were high on the list. Unfortunately, they didn’t know who would be doing what except for Katniss and Peeta.

“And anal?” Katniss continued as Peeta joined her at the table.

“Sure,” the woman answered. “I’m pretty open. Me and my ex used to film ourselves all the time.” She looked at the two. “You two looking for tips?”

“Maybe,” Katniss replied. She turned to Peeta. “Did you want anything?”

“Coke, please,” he told the woman. “I’m still recovering from the past few days.”

“Coke for him and a Lagavulin for me,” Katniss told the waitress.

“You like the good stuff.” She gave Katniss a saucy wink. “I’ll be right back with your drinks. I’m Delly, by the way.”

“Katniss.” Katniss gestured over at Peeta, who gave Delly a light wave. “Peeta.”

She nodded. “Nice meeting you.”

As soon as Delly walked away, Katniss turned to her friend. “What do you think?”

“Decent rack, sweet face, and she has experience apparently,” Peeta replied. “Thoughts on having her on the team?”

“Well, she seems friendly,” Katniss replied. She eyed him. “Would you do her?”

“If I had to…sure,” her friend replied. “How about you?”

“Me and Delly?” Katniss looked to the woman at the bar, awaiting their drinks. She was pretty with wavy, shoulder-length hair and wide eyes. Not to mention, her body was banging—the bejeweled bustier made her breasts look incredible—and her personality was easy. “Sure. Why not? I mean it will make me more…desirable.”

“Are you still pissed off that?” Peeta asked. “Johanna loves to rile you up.”

“I hate that she can.” Katniss sighed. “Are we really going to do this?”

“Haven’t you ever been curious?” Peeta’s gaze fell warmly on her. “How it might feel like between me and you?”

“Sometimes,” she admitted. “We kissed that one time, but nothing came of it. I thought maybe you didn’t like it…or me.”

“I do like you. I love you.” Peeta reached for her, pulling her onto his lap. “I guess we were just both too scared to explore what kind of love we could’ve had.”

Her arms wove around his neck as Katniss pressed her forehead to his. “I love you and I like you, too.”

“Your drinks, lovebirds.” Delly approached them, a bright smile on her face. “Anything else I can get you?”

“Actually.” Katniss stood up, pulling out the business card with Johanna’s number on it. “I have a proposition for you.”

++++++

“What are your special skills?” Johanna asked as she looked over Delly’s resume.

Delly gave the group a bright smile, her eyes landing on Katniss with a wink.

The group gathered the following day for auditions for the two additional actors at Finnick and Annie’s place.

Currently, Annie and Peeta were reviewing resumes and headshots in the hallway while the rest of them assessed the auditions.

The group had agreed to hold them at Finnick and Annie’s since it looked the most professional. The couple’s apartment was stylishly decorated thanks to Annie’s chic but budget-friendly taste—most of their furnishings from Target and IKEA.

“Can you look into the camera?” Finnick asked from where he stood in the center of the living room.

“Sure.” Delly looked straight into the camera, smiling into it. “Well…I can do a handstand and suck dick at the same time.”

“Can we see?” Madge asked from where she stood next to Finnick.

“The sucking dick part or the headstand?”

“How about we just see how it looks?” Finnick suggested. “Have Annie bring the next male audition in.”

Gale stood from his seat. “I’m on it.” He quickly came back, followed by a tall, dark-skinned man who flashed them all a handsome smile. “Everyone, this is Thresh. Thresh, why don’t you join Delly in front of the camera?”

“Sure,” he said easily and walked over to Delly, holding out his hand. “I’m Thresh.”

Delly shook it, her mouth widening in a grin. “Delly.”

“Okay, whenever you’re ready,” Johanna told the two.

Nodding, Delly bent over, pressing her palms to the floor. Then as she steadied, the woman easily lifted her hips…then her legs…before straightening them, her toes pointing in the air.

“Amazing,” Madge whispered.

Next to her, Gale nodded in agreement.

Katniss stood from her seat, going to Finnick, and looked at the camera’s viewfinder.

Delly and Thresh made a strikingly good couple on camera. They were at ease, chatting as if Delly wasn’t in front of the man’s crotch and at a perfect angle to go at his junk.

“Thresh, any special skills?” Gale asked, handing Johanna the man’s resume.

“I can get an erection on command,” Thresh told them.

“Okay, we all need to see this,” Johanna said. “Someone get Peeta and Annie in here.”

“Delly, you can get off your hands now,” Katniss said.

“Let me help—” Thresh held her hips as Delly eased down. As she did, the crotch of her leggings met his groin, and she wrapped her legs around his to steady herself.

“The perfect standing wheelbarrow,” Finnick remarked from behind the camera. “Bravo!”

Peeta and Annie stepped inside as Thresh helped Delly onto her feet. She smiled gratefully, kissing his cheek before dashing over to where the rest of the group was gathered.

“Even if you don’t hire me, I need to see this,” she told them.

Peeta joined Katniss’ side. “What are we looking at?”

Finnick signaled Thresh. “Whenever you’re ready.”

The man simply undid the top button of his jeans, unzipped, and holding the sides of his jeans lowered them down.

Taking a deep breath, the man closed his eyes, as the group watched his cock—a rather thick one—go from half-mast to full in less than a minute.

“Well, that deserves some applause,” Peeta told everyone and began to clap.

The group quickly joined in, but not before hiring both Delly and Thresh.

++++++

“Okay, two things,” Gale announced, going to the easel and whiteboard that he had set up in their living room. He wrote out ‘Location’ and ‘Plot’. “First, location. Any thoughts?”

“We can’t just do it in one of our apartments?” Finnick asked.

“Would you want to sit on your living room couch thinking that Johanna ate Delly out on it?” Gale asked him. “Or Katniss and Peeta on your kitchen counter—”

“True,” Annie said. “Let’s not shit where we eat.”

“Maybe we can rent out space for very cheap,” Thresh said. “I might know some club places where I work security that might be in our price range.”

They learned that Thresh was a part-time security guard and a returning student at the local community college. He was trying to get his Business degree and planned to open a gym after he graduated.

“Great idea,” Gale wrote down, ‘Thresh-club spaces’. Anyone else?”

“That bar I work at might be willing,” Delly told them. “I might have to give the owner a boost—”

“No way,” Peeta interrupted. “We don’t want you doing those kinds of favors just to get us a workspace.”

“Definitely,” Katniss agreed, smiling at the girl. “We’ll figure it out together.”

“Okay, what about a plot?” Johanna went to the board. “Every porn needs one to entice an audience. Why don’t we do a round robin and everyone says one thing that turns them on? I’ll start.” She turned around and wrote on the board—‘A clean bush’.

“Doesn’t everyone like it to be clean down there?” Finnick remarked before looking to Annie. “I mean you keep it pristine—”

“No need to tell everyone about my cat, love,” his fiancée retorted.

“I mean, I don’t mind it being wild down there,’ Gale told the group. He took the marker from Johanna and scribbled, ‘Bossiness’. “I like a dominating woman.”

“Definitely a good BDSM storyline,” Madge remarked as she walked up to the board, writing ‘Rough play’. “I like manhandling and being manhandled. I worked with this guy and we use to hook up all over the office. Once after everyone left, we were going at it and he takes me and lifted me—” She mimicked her lover with her hands. “—onto the copy machine before pounding the living daylight out of me.”

Everyone stared in shock at the seemingly sweet blonde twirling a tendril of her hair.

“Come Monday, everyone was trying to figure why there were a hundred copies of someone’s bare pussy on the copy machine tray,” she said in a daze.

“Damn—” Gale swallowed harshly. “—thank you for your contribution.” His gaze went to the person sitting next to Madge. “Katniss?”

“I…I…” Katniss bowed her head. She wasn’t thrilled with everyone knowing just what got her going. However, at some point, they were all going to be seeing her being thoroughly fucked by Peeta. “I like…dirty talk.” She shifted in her seat, aware that next to her sat her soon-to-be co-star. “I don’t have any experience, but when I’m…masturbating, the voice in my head is usually whispering very depraved things in my ear.”

“Care to expand, sweetheart?” Thresh asked from where he sat across.

“Well—” Katniss folded her hands in her lap. “The voice will tell me how much he loves feeling his fingers being squeezed by my cunt, how drenched I am around his dick, how he wants to fuck me until I can’t feel my legs…sometimes he talks about fucking me in both holes…his dick in my pussy and his thumb in my asshole—”

Peeta suddenly jumped from his spot. “I’m going to grab some water from the fridge. Anyone?”

He quickly disappeared into the next room before anyone could even answer.

“You just gave Peeta a boner,” Delly cackled from her seat on the carpet. “Why aren’t you dating?”

“Because—” Katniss searched for a reason, finding herself unable to answer. “—let me check on him.”

She found him bent in front of the fridge.

He pulled back sans water and turned just as she stepped in.

“We ran out of water.” Peeta met her eyes fully, watching as she approached. “I didn’t mean to run off—”

“Peeta, what turns you on?” she found herself asking.

Katniss stopped in front of him and her gaze took her friend in—swept-back blond waves, a firm jaw, and blue eyes…hazed with arousal. They never really talked about the fact that they had admitted to their friends that they were curious about fucking one another.

To be entirely truthful, the voice in her ear, the one that spoke such deliciously sinful things—was Peeta’s voice.

She didn’t know when the mystery man had morphed into her best friend, but sometimes the image of him—in his usual uniform of a pair of jeans, a tee, and an apron—would cause a heat that threatened to burn her to the very core.

However, this precipice between friendship and whatever it was, scared her.

So, Katniss held back.

Peeta shook his head. “It’s kind of stupid.”

“I just told everyone that a mystery voice gets me wet with talk of double penetration.”

He laughed roughly. “That is true.”

Meeting her eyes, Peeta leaned back against the door of the fridge.

“I like sex in different places…the element of danger…of being caught.” His golden complexion tinged with pink. “It’s a major turn-on.”

She nodded, toeing in closer to him. “Have you ever—"

“No, just fantasies,” Peeta said. “Compared to the rest of our friends, I’m pretty daisy fresh.”

“Tell me the last place that you’ve fantasized having sex in,” Katniss said. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” he replied, his hand reaching to cup her cheek.

His thumb grazed the corner of her mouth and she resisted the urge to take it into her mouth to taste.

“The bakery.” His gaze fell to her lips. “Specifically, against one of the ovens as it’s warming up and y—whoever and I just get so caught up in the smell of sugar…of rye…and one another that we don’t know where the heat is rising from—”

Katniss suddenly straightened. “Ohmigod…the bakery.”

“What?”

“The bakery,” she repeated.

His eyes widened in realization. “The bakery.”

END OF PART ONE

This will be multiple parts, not sure how many though.

Yes, before you ask, this is loosely based on Zack and Miri Make a Porno which I think is a hilarious movie with some great music.

Speaking of music, the title comes from Live’s ‘Hold Me Up’, which was used in the soundtrack of Zack and Miri. It also plays during a pivotal scene.

Other music used: ‘The Sign’-Ace of Base

I hope you’re enjoying it so far—as if now, I have just completed the second part.

Thanks for reading!

-JLaLa

#jlalafics #567inpanem #prompt 42 #Springtime edition 2021 #submission

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Travis has had both boyfriends and girlfriends since high school. But when his coworkers discovered his dating history at a board game night, they told him he couldn’t be bisexual. “Bi men don’t exist,” they said. “You’re just a confused gay guy.” Travis, 34, had brought his girlfriend with him that night, but they started calling her his “roommate” after they found out he was bi.

Santiago got an even harsher reaction when he came out to his family. “‘Bisexual’ is just code for insincere gay man” is how he said one of his relatives reacted. “He didn’t use the term ‘gay man,’” 24-year-old Santiago told me, “but I won’t repeat slurs.”

In the past couple of months, I’ve heard dozens of stories like these from bisexual men who have had their sexual orientations invalidated by family members, friends, partners, and even strangers. Thomas was called a “fence-sitter” by a group of gay men at a bar. Shirodj was told that he was “just gay but not ready to come out of the closet.” Alexis had his bisexuality questioned by a lesbian teacher who he thought would be an ally. Many of these same men have been told that women are “all a little bi” or “secretly bi” but that men can only be gay or straight, nothing else.

In other words, bisexual men are like climate change: real but constantly denied.

A full 2% of men identified themselves as bisexual on a 2016 survey from the Centers for Disease Control, which means that there are at least three million bi guys in the United States alone—a number roughly equivalent to the population of Iowa. (On the same survey, 5.5% of women self-identified as bisexual, which comes out to roughly the same number of people as live in New Jersey.) The probability that an entire state’s worth of people would lie about being attracted to more than one gender is about as close to zero as you can get.

But the idea that only women can be bisexual is a persistent myth, one that has been decades in the making. And prejudice with such deep historical roots won’t disappear overnight.

👬👫👬👫

To understand why bisexual men are still being told that their sexual orientation doesn’t exist, we have to go back to the gay liberation movement of the late 1960s. That’s when Dr. H. Sharif “Herukhuti” Williams, a cultural studies scholar and co-editor of the anthology Recognize: The Voices of Bisexual Men, told me that male sexual fluidity got thrown under the bus in the name of gay rights—specifically white, upper-class gay rights.

“One of the byproducts of the gay liberation movement is this…solidifying of the [sexual] binary,” Herukhuti told me, citing the Harlem Renaissance of the 1920s as a pre-Stonewall period of relatively unstigmatized sexual fluidity.

Four decades later, the gay liberation movement created a new type of man—the “modern gay man,” Herukhuti calls him—who was both “different from and similar to” the straight man. As Jillian Weiss, now the executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense Fund, wrote in a 2003 review of this same history, “gays and lesbians campaigned for acceptance by suggesting that they were ‘just like you,’ but with the single (but extremely significant exception) of [having] partners of the same sex.” Under this framework, attraction to a single gender was the unifying glue between gay men, lesbians, and straight people—bisexual people were just “confused.”

Bisexual people realized that they would have to form groups and coalitions of their own if they wanted cultural acceptance. But just as bisexual activism was gaining a foothold in the 1980s, the AIDS crisis hit, and everything changed—especially for bisexual men.

“AIDS forced certain bisexual men out [of the closet], it forced a lot of bisexual men back in, and then it killed off a number of them,” longtime bisexual activist and author Ron Suresha told me.Those deaths hindered the development of male bisexual activism at a particularly critical moment. “A number of men who would have been involved and were involved in the early years of the bi movement died—and they died early and they died quickly,” bisexual writer Mike Syzmanski recalled.

The AIDS crisis also gave rise to one of the most pernicious and persistent stereotypes about bisexual men, namely that they are the “bridge” for HIV transmission between gay men and heterosexual women. As Brian Dodge, a public health researcher at Indiana University, told me, this is a “warped notion” that has “never been substantiated by any real data.” The CDC, too, has debunked the same myth in the specific context of U.S. black communities: No, black men on the “down low” are not primarily responsible for high rates of HIV among black women.

For decades, bisexual men have been portrayed—even within the LGBT community—as secretly gay, sexually confused vectors of disease.

In 2016, bisexual men are still feeling the effects of the virus and the misperceptions around it.

“We’re still underrepresented on the boards of almost all of the national bisexual organizations,” Suresha told me, referring to the fact that women occupy most of the key leadership positions in bisexual activism. And in a new, nationally representative study of attitudes toward bisexual people, Dodge and his research team found that 43% of respondents agreed —at least somewhat—with the statement: “People should be afraid to have sex with bisexual men because of HIV/STD risks.”

For decades, bisexual men have been portrayed—even within the LGBT community—as secretly gay, sexually confused vectors of disease. Is it any wonder that they are still fighting to shed that false image today? It’s hard to convince people that you exist when they barely see you as human.

👬👫👬👫

It’s not that bisexual women have it easy. Both bisexual men and women are much less likely than gay men and lesbians to be out of the closet, with only 28% telling Pew that most of the important people in their life know about their orientation. Collectively, bisexual people also have some of the worst mental health outcomes in the LGBT community and their risk of intimate partner violence is disturbingly high. Bisexual people also face discrimination within the LGBT community while fending off accusations that their orientation excludes non-binary genders. (In response, bisexual educator Robyn Ochs defines “bisexuality” as attraction to “people of more than one sex and/or gender” rather than just to “men and women.”)

And on top of these general problems, bisexual women are routinely hypersexualized, stereotyped as “sluts,” dismissed as “experimenting,” and harassed on dating apps. Their bisexuality is reduced to a spectacle or waved away as a “phase.”

But it is still bisexual men who seem to have their very existence questioned more often.

Suresha pointed me to a 2005 New York Times article with the headline “Straight, Gay, Or Lying? Bisexuality Revisited,” the fallout of which he saw as “a disaster for bi people.” The article reported on a new study “cast[ing] doubt on whether true bisexuality exists, at least in men.” The study in question measured the genital arousal of a small sample of men and found, as the Times summarized, that “three-quarters of the [bisexual male] group had arousal patterns identical to those of gay men; the rest were indistinguishable from heterosexuals.”

“It got repeated and repeated in all sorts of media,” Suresha recalled. “People reported it in news briefs on the radio, in print, in magazines, all over the place.”

As the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force noted in its response to the article, the original study had some clear methodological limitations—only 33 self-identified bisexual men were included and participants were recruited through “gay-oriented magazines”—but the Times went ahead and reported that the research “lends support to those who have long been skeptical that bisexuality is a distinct and stable sexual orientation.”

“Show me the quest for scientific proof that heterosexuality exists. It begins and ends with even just one person saying, ‘I’m straight.’” — Amy Andre, Huffington Post

The article fueled the devious narrative that male bisexuality was just homosexuality in disguise. The lived experiences of bisexual men don’t support that narrative—and neither does science—but its power comes from prejudice, not from solid evidence.

And unsurprisingly, the 2005 study’s conclusions did not survive the test of time. In fact, one of the co-authors of that study went on to co-author a 2011 study which found that “bisexual patterns of both subjective and genital arousal” did indeed occur among men. The New York Times Magazine later devoted a feature to the push for the 2011 study, briefly acknowledging the paper’s previous poor coverage. But many in the bisexual community were unimpressed that the scientific community was still being positioned as the authority on the existence of bisexual men.

“Show me the quest for scientific proof that heterosexuality exists,” Amy Andre wrote on the Huffington Post in response to the feature. “It begins and ends with even just one person saying, ‘I’m straight.’”

👬👫👬👫

One of the most tragic things about society’s refusal to accept bisexual men is that we don’t even know why it is still so vehement. Dodge believes that his new study offers some hints—the persistent and widespread endorsement of the HIV “bridge” myth is alarming—but he told me that he would need “more qualitative and more focused research” before he could definitively state that HIV stigma is the primary factor driving negative attitudes toward bisexual men. (Research in this area is indeed sorely lacking. The last major study on the subject prior to the survey Dodge’s team conducted was published in 2002.)

In the meantime, bisexual advocates have developed plenty of compelling theories, many of them focused on the dominance of traditional masculinity. For example, Herukhuti explained that “we live in a society in which boundaries between men are policed because of patriarchy and sexism.” Men are expected to be “kings of their kingdom”—not to share their domain.

“For men to bridge those boundaries with each other—the only way that we can conceive of that is in the sense that these are ‘non-men,’” Herukhuti told me, adding that, in a patriarchal society, gay men are indeed seen as “non-men.” The refusal to accept that men can be bisexual, then, is partly a refusal to accept that someone who is bisexual can even be a man.

Many of the bisexual men I interviewed endorsed this same hypothesis. Kevin, 25, told me that “it’s seen as really unmanly to be attracted to men.” Another Kevin, 26, added that “the core concept of masculinity doesn’t leave room for anything besides extremes.” Justin, in his mid 20s, said that “men are one way and gay men are another way [but] bisexual men are this weird middle ground.”

Our society doesn’t seem to do well with more than two—especially when so many still believe that there’s only one right way to be a man.

And Michael, 28, added that bisexual men are “symbolically dangerous”—a “big interior threat to hetero masculinity” because of a shared attraction to women. It’s easy for a straight guy to differentiate himself from the modern gay man, but how can he reassure himself that he is nothing like his bisexual counterpart?

The answer is obvious: He can equate male bisexuality with homosexuality.

The logic needed to balance that equation, Herukhuti explained to me, is disturbingly close to the racist, Jim Crow-era “one-drop rule,” which designated anyone with the slightest bit of African ancestry as black for legal purposes.

“For a male to have had any kind of same-sex sexual experience, they are automatically designated as gay, based on that one-drop rule,” Herukhuti said. “And that taints them.”

To see that logic at work, look no further than the state of HIV research, much of which still groups gay and bisexual men together as MSM, or men who have sex with men. Dodge, who specializes in the area of HIV/AIDS, explained that “when a man reports sexual activity with another man, that becomes the recorded mode of transmission and there’s no data reporting about female or other partners.” Bisexual men have their identities erased—literally—from the resulting data.

“A really easy way to fix this,” Dodge added, “would be to just create a separate surveillance category.”

But when it comes to categories, our society doesn’t seem to do well with more than two—especially when so many still believe that there’s only one right way to be a man.

👬👫👬👫

The situation of bisexual men is not hopeless. Slowly but surely, they are expanding the horizons of masculinity. The silver lining in Dodge’s study, for example, is that there has been a decided “‘shift’ in attitudes toward bisexual men and women from negative to more neutral in the general population” over the last decade or so, although negative attitudes toward bisexual men were still “significantly greater” than the negativity directed at their female peers.

“Put the champagne on the ice,” Dodge joked. “We’re no longer at the very bottom of the barrel but we’ve still got a ways to go.”

That distance will likely be shortened by a rising generation that is far more tolerant of sexual fluidity than their predecessors. Respondents to Dodge’s survey who were under age 25 had more positive attitudes toward bisexuality, perhaps because so many of them openly identify as LGBTQ themselves—some as bisexual, some as pansexual, and some refusing labels altogether.

That growing acceptance is starting to be reflected in movies and on television, once forms of media that were, and still often are, notoriously hostile to bisexual men. A character named Darryl came out as bisexual with a myth-busting song on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and, as GLAAD recently noted, other shows like Shadowhunters and Black Sails are starting to do bi male representation right. The HBO comedy Insecure even made biphobia into a powerful storyline when one straight female character, Molly, shunned her love interest when he told her that he once had oral sex with a guy in a college. But other shows, like House of Cards, are still using a male character’s bisexuality as a way to accentuate his villainy.

Ultimately, bisexual men themselves will continue to be the most powerful force for changing hearts and minds. I asked each bisexual man I interviewed what he would want the world to know about his sexual orientation. Some wanted to clear up specific misconceptions but so many of them simply wanted people to acknowledge that male bisexuality is not fake.

“It’s important that bisexuality be acknowledged as real,” said Martyn, 30, adding that “there’s only so long someone can hold on to a part of themselves that seems invisible before it starts to make them doubt their own sense of self.”

“I am happy being bisexual and I’m not looking for an answer,” said Dan, 19. “I’m not trying things out, I’m not using this as a placeholder to discover my identity. This is who I am. And I love it.”

Samantha Allen is a reporter for Fusion’s Sex+Life vertical. She has a PhD in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies from Emory University and was the 2013 John Money Fellow at the Kinsey Institute. Before joining Fusion, she was a tech and health reporter for The Daily Beast.

#bisexuality #bi #bi tumblr #support bisexuality #bisexuality is valid #bi pride #lgbtq community #lgbtq #lgbtq pride #pride #bisexual #bisexual community #bisexual men are valid #respect bisexual men #bisexual men #bisexual nation #bisexual education #support bisexual men #bisexual men exist #biphobic gay people #end biphobia #biphopia #biphobic #bisexual pride #bisexual erasure #bisexual men allies

[mediumkravitz]

(This used to be a part of this post, but I figured it wasn’t especially relevant to the topic at hand, so now it’s here.)

Many books discussing butch/fem(me) history point out that a number of women in the scene, particularly fems, were behaviorally bisexual. Due to this—as well as their femininity—fems and fish (a black fem identity) struggled in lesbian communities to be considered “true” lesbians as they were often stereotyped as bisexual. Many butches/studs assumed they were more likely to leave the “lesbian life” because they could “pass” for straight, which, y’know, totally doesn’t sound like how people talk about bi women today whatsoever.

While I’m not necessarily equipped to provide a full MLA-cited deep-dive analysis on butch/femme identity, here are a few quotes (and a very long paper about femme bisexuality if you’re especially curious).

From Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold: The History of a Lesbian Community (1994):

Fems, who never ceased to act on their own initiative, in some contexts were defined as other, as not really lesbian, because of their traditional feminine looks or their active heterosexual pasts.

In keeping with narrators’ varied experiences in finding their identities, the community did not have—nor does it now have—a hegemonic view about how to draw the line between the homosexual and the heterosexual. Many narrators see the butch lesbian as the true lesbian. Other narrators consider anyone who stays with women and is part of the community a lesbian.

The boundaries between heterosexual and homosexual have always been difficult to draw... The gay liberation model made the boundary clear by categorically including every woman who is attracted to a woman. But throughout the twentieth century there have been women who have spent some time in the heterosexual world and some in the homosexual world... Most narrators were aware of these ambiguities and took them into account by speaking in terms of bisexuality, or the pure versus the less-pure lesbian.

It may be important to note that even up until—and during—the 90s, “lesbian” was sometimes defined as “any woman who has at some time in her life loved another woman” (see pg. 11).

Bi butches have been around for a while, too. 

From the 1995 essay “Too Butch to Be Bi”:

But being a butch woman who is also bisexual can be difficult. It feels sometimes that the the idea is so challenging—since the assumptions in our communities are that all butch women are lesbian women and all femme women are bisexual women—that often a butch woman trying to come to terms with being bisexual is stuck. 

[...] But once we find a community that is accepting of our same-sex interests, we run into an entirely different series of messages. A number of these are about appearances and what they are supposed to say about who we are. The ideas about femmes (femme women aren’t really interested in other women, and femme men aren’t really interested in women at all) and butches (butches are always the aggressors in sex, whether they are men or women) permeate our queer culture. These ideas make it difficult for us to explore who we are and who we want to be. Many people feel too threatened to challenge the status quo of an already fringe community, for fear of being outcast from the one place where they have struggled to belong.

From a 1996 interview with Leslie Feinberg:

And I would say that people who were referred to as drag queens, [sh*m*les], female impersonators, drag kings, diesel [d-slur]s, butches, et cetera, uh… Nowadays we think of them sometimes as just being synonymous with a certain kind of sexuality, but in fact there’s a lot of butch women who sleep with other butches, or who are bisexual, and the same thing is true with feminine men.

From the 1997 book Femme: Feminists, Lesbians and Bad Girls:

[Heather Findlay]: Negative Message number three: ‘Don’t date a femme, because she’ll leave you for a man.’ [...] I know tons of butches who have slept with guys, and for some reason there’s not some big stigma attached to that. That doesn’t threaten their membership in the lesbian community, but with us [femmes] it does.

From a 2000 issue of Bi Women: The Newsletter of the Boston Bisexual Women’s Network:

But I also think bi women like to experiment with the wide range of possibilities along the butch/femme continuum without feeling confined by them. And that’s fun to watch! And I think many people assume that because bi women are also interested in men that they all would be femmes. Oh, how wrong they are—hallelujah for butch bi women!

Femme/butch identities are not static and they are not necessarily constricting, but they can be. Femme/butch arose out of a historical context where woman to woman love was not safely or openly acknowledged... As queer people have established a safer, more visible place in the world, femme/butch have become much more fluid (and perhaps diluted) identities or presentations. 

#q slur #long post #quotes #butch/femme

[mereibitch]

We need to stand up for ourselves and others before we can accomplish our dreams.

Before I can be the first LGBT person on the supreme court, before I talk some sense into my homophobic parents, before I come out, before I go to my dream school, before trump is dead or in jail, before we have a female LGBT president, before I smirk at all the people that have abandoned me/hurt me/laughed at me/made fun of me/didn't accept me/left me blah blah you get the point, before I thank all the people that have stayed with me and supported me....... 

....all before that, and before everyone else’s goals and dreams, before forming futures that we all think are impossible to form, and before we can be safe in this world, we need to stand up for ourselves. Stand up for the morals we believe in. There is no justice in this world today, this world is unfair. There is Homophobia, Racism, Sexism, Transphobia, and so, so much more that is wrong. 

‘Standing up for ourselves’ and ‘making a difference’ isn't just putting a black square on our Instagram, or putting our pronouns in our bio, that’s the bare fucking minimum. We need to actually do what’s right in the world today. Sign and share petitions, donate to charities and other causes, make awareness posts, be accepting, speak up when you see something wrong. And i’m not just talking a one-time thing, we can’t make a difference that way. We need to do the right thing, because the generations before us were too much of brainwashed cowards to. Our generation has the power, drive, and motivation to make a difference, and we need to make that difference count for the better. When we were little kids in  elementary school, we were told to ‘make the world a better place’ when we grow up. Well news flash: We’re grown up. This is our chance to make the world a better place, so people like me and you can live out our lives and our dreams without the bullshit we see everyday. 

We live in a world where just because you’re not white, you can get pulled over and charged for no reason, be denied a job because of your race, you have put up with all the racist slurs and stereotypes and bullshit thrown at you from a young age, you get fetishized, you get racist leadership, there’s a chance you can’t get your story spread or the justice that you deserve, you get police brutality aimed at you, and get fucking shot for no reason. And the person who shot you has no consequences. 

We live in a world where just because you’re female, you have to watch your drink at a party with your life, you have to dress in modest clothing, you have the chance to get fucking raped, you have to make sure that you don’t get pregnant because the people that can get you pregnant don’t have to do a thing, you can’t get abortions in so many places, you get sexist leadership, you get catcalled, you get called a slut, and you have such unrealistic expectations for being the ‘perfect and pretty housewife’ that women are brainwashed into thinking that they don’t have a chance in doing anything in life.

We live in a world where just because you’re LGBTQ, there are dozens of religions attacking you, there’s the overwhelming fear of coming out and the bad things that could happen after, you get made fun of, you get told you’re faking it for attention, you witness or experience the biphobia, panphobia, transphobia, acephobia, and lesbian erasure within the fucking community, you see the people coming out as a trend or as a joke, you have whole conversion camps and therapy meant to ‘set you straight’, you get called slurs, you get told “its just a phase”, you get the emotional and physical trauma, you get fetishized, you get homophobic leadership, you get no rights to adopt and marry, you get fired for being who you are, and you get kicked out and disowned for saying one sentence.

We live in a world where just because you’re trans, you get kicked out, you get fetishized, you get misgendered constantly, you have to hide your deadname with your life, you try to pass as much as possible to not have hate towards you, you have to get fired and denied healthcare, you get put in the wrong fucking gendered prison, you get no bathrooms or are terrified with going into the one you should be going into, you get called slurs, you get disowned, you get denied so many things, and there are so many people that think your very existence doesn't matter.

Before we can fulfill our dreams, we need to get rid of the bullshit in our society. These are just a couple issues that I listed, not counting all the overlapping issues between them. Please, please, please, stand up for yourself. And not just for yourself, but for all the other people and communities that need help and need to be safe. Share petitions, educate people, do as much as possible to make the difference you have the power to make. We can’t live our dreams in this world today right now. We need to make that change so your gay uncles can adopt, so your POC friend can trust the police, so your sister can stay safe walking in the city at night, so you can live out the dreams you want to achieve.

STAND UP FOR OUR FUTURE

(please share or reblog if you can, this is an issue)

@just-a-gay-bean @lessons-from-moths @midnightswordsdance @soft-black-teabag @artzyyangel 

#black lives matter #blm #blm movement #blacklivesmatter #lgbt #lgbtq #homophobia #racisim #trans #trans rights #transphobia #sexism #womens rights #stand up for our future

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

In derry girls, what did you think of the episode where clare came out? Im irish (republic) and gay so i love that it was included, but some of the language used makes me uncomfortable i guess? I get that NI in the 90s wasnt very accepting but the directors have said that they already portrayed it through rose coloured glasses so having michelle say d*ke feels unnecessary. I love the show though and can certainly look past it! I was just interested in what you thought :)))

Hey anon!

Personally I love this episode of Derry Girls! In fact it’s probably my favourite episodes. I already liked Clare as a character throughout the series, probably because I relate to her a bit too much, so to have her be revealed as gay was just like the icing on the cake. Good representation for northern Irish characters are few and far between, and gay northern Irish characters are basically non existent. Derry Girls was this hit TV show that provided many with the first chance to see themselves represented meaningfully on TV, and that includes myself.

However, I think there’s a lot of really important stuff in this episode that people either don’t notice or just don’t really talk about, which I do understand because Derry Girls is, at the end of the day, a comedy and it’s much more fun to quote characters like Aunt Sarah saying “you cannot move for lesbians these days” than to think about the darker side of Northern Ireland.

(T/W for homophobia discussion!!!)

(Also this sort of turned into a ramble about acceptance by the end of the post but I just have a lot of feelings on what Derry girls represents and I feel like non northern Irish viewers maybe don’t catch onto that because they don’t have the necessary context)

Derry Girls, as a show, is so interesting and personal to me because it manages to perfectly strike the balance between presenting Northern Ireland as a deeply flawed and divided country, but also presenting it as a place where people can be happy and live their lives to the fullest despite the ever present danger of the troubles. And that’s a genuinely refreshing portrayal of N.I that we usually don’t get. However I’d argue that if Derry Girls doesn’t at least try and illustrate, to some extent, the causal and very rampant homophobia of northern Ireland then it runs the risk of romanticising Northern Ireland at the time, which I think is incredibly dangerous. I do think that the show is intentionally more digestible and does filter things through rose tinted glasses, however I’d argue that simply glossing over the homophobia would have actually been a bit disrespectful to the queer history of Northern Ireland and could erase the experiences and struggles of the LGBTQ community in N.I, both then and now. If the show doesn’t acknowledge that things were shitty then we paint an inaccurate picture of what it was like, and arguably still is like, to be gay in Northern Ireland. And considering that Derry Girls is one of the very few good depictions of Northern Ireland, it’s incredibly important that it’s an honest depiction.

You specifically asked about Michelle, but I think it’s important to talk about Michelle and Erin in relation to one another, and how they are both products of their time and of a deeply homophobic society.

(Now I’m going to briefly discuss Michelle’s use of the d-slur here however I just want to acknowledge that I’m probably not the best person to talk about this since it’s a lesbian specific slur and I’m not a lesbian. I welcome any additions to this post!)

I think Michelle sort of represents the overt and “loud” homophobia that’s present in our society. Michelle saying the d-slur is far from the first homophobic thing she says. I mean It’s literally a running gag in series one that she calls James “gay” constantly. And the sad thing is that Michelle’s off handed comments throughout the series are incredibly realistic to what you’d hear in Northern Ireland even today. I remember the f-slur being chanted during break time at my primary school, without anyone fully understanding what that word meant. Michelle is a representation of the homophobia that’s deeply ingrained into N.I to the point where it’s not even thought about or even seen as an issue. I mean...no one ever really talks about Michelle’s comments. Now whether or not they had to include her saying a slur specifically to illustrate the homophobia of N.I is not for me to say. You could change that sentence in the script and I think the point of Michelle representing “loud” and homophobia would still stand.

On the other hand...I think Erin represents the much more insidious and “quiet” homophobia.

Firstly, she has no issue with capitalising off a very personal essay for her own gain, shrugs off any protests that this might be wrong and doesn’t consider how her actions may hurt the writer of this piece (who is later revealed to be Clare).

Even the language she uses is a bit uncomfortable, saying that “a real life lesbian walks among us”. Are lesbians wild animals or mythical creatures? That seems to be what Erin is implying here. Plus Erin tries to make it out to others such as Sister Michael that she’s doing this because she genuinely believes in equal rights and wishes to stick up for the LGBT community, but when Clare actually tries to come out Erin is clearly confused and she reacts very badly. I mean, Erin literally says she doesn’t want Clare to come out and demands she get back in the closet, and you can see how hurt Clare is by this reaction. And this scene is kind of played for laughs and I think that straight viewers probably found Erin’s reaction quite funny...but this scene hit way too close to home for me. It’s the classic “I have nothing against gay people, but I’d just rather I didn’t have a gay friend/child/co-worker because they make me uncomfortable” that’s way too common in Northern Ireland. It’s the idea that people can present themselves as liberal and open minded, but when finally confronted with something that doesn’t fit their narrative, their societal conditioning kicks in.

As a queer woman, it was never Michelle’s causal homophobia that made me uncomfortable, it was Erin’s reaction...because it hit way too close to home. It’s a perfect representation of the “quiet” homophobia that’s still a massive issue in Northern Ireland today.

(Also the context of when Derry Girls was released is super important! Series one of Derry Girls was released in 2018...but Gay marriage wasn’t actually legalised in Northern Ireland until January of 2020 and even then it was quite contested by conservatives. Now I’m not saying there’s social commentary here but that’s absolutely what I’m saying.)

Now I’m not saying that Michelle or Erin themselves are homophobic, nor am I saying that they’re bad people. I think that they are teenagers that have absorbed a lot of homophobic rhetoric due to the time and the society that they live in. Although Erin’s reaction to Clare trying to come out was painful to watch because it felt so real, I don’t think her reaction was malicious. Erin is a teenager who has grown up in a homophobic society and now doesn’t really know how to react to this new reality and probably didn’t realise how hurtful she was being to Clare. (This isn’t me trying to excuse her reaction, again I am part of the LGBT community and I’ve experienced that exact same reaction from people, it’s me trying to understand Erin’s reaction). Erin and Michelle have both absorbed rhetoric from their deeply homophobic society, and unfortunately this rhetoric continues.

Plus I just want to comment on this idea of acceptance and change in Derry Girls. Derry Girls is set in the time of great change in Northern Ireland, where people were sort of starting to accept that people are allowed to be British or Irish or both. But this process was messy and it wasn’t instantaneous. And the acceptance of the LGBTQ community in Northern Ireland was the exact same. It didn’t just happen overnight. It was a slow and messy process of change, of people re-evaluating their previous beliefs and being given the chance to grow as people and to learn how to accept others. That’s not to say people haven’t made mistakes in the past, because they have, but they’re willing to take the steps to change. I‘ve always thought the LGBTQ subplot of Derry Girls is sort of a parallel to the overall process of change in Northern Ireland in a political sense. And I think that flies over so many people’s heads because they don’t have that context of the political situation in N.I.

(And this theme of acceptance is seen again in the series finale of series 2 with James! ✨ Thematic consistency ✨ )

Because at the end of the day, Clare is accepted by the group. In fact, we see both the teenagers and the adults actively take steps to make her feel loved, welcome and accepted. My favourite moment will always be Granda Joe saying “you’re a very talented people” to Clare in the most earnest voice. Clare is still loved by her friends and although they don’t exactly know what they’re doing, they do try and show their support for her. They absolutely make mistakes, and they did hurt Clare, but they’re trying and I think that stands for a lot, especially at the time.

And I think all of what I discussed was absolutely necessary to Derry Girls. Derry Girls might be a somewhat rose tinted portrayal of Derry in the troubles, but it never tries to romanticise the situation that the teenagers were in (because no one should be romanticising the troubles). I think that this stance of portraying the harsh reality of homophobia in N.I is equally important to the narrative of Derry Girls. I see my own experiences in Clare, despite the fact it’s 30 years later, so if they didn’t at least attempt to show the homophobia in Ireland it would have felt disingenuous and too “perfect”. Again, I’m not saying that Michelle using the d slur was the right way to go about showing the “loud” homophobia of Northern Ireland. That’s not my decision to make. However, just because Derry Girls is making efforts to present Northern Ireland in a more digestible way to audiences (especially non northern Irish audiences) doesn’t mean they shouldn’t also acknowledge the reality of Northern Ireland at the time.

(This all kind of makes it sound like I want Clare to get hate crimed which I obviously do not want. I think the way that Derry Girls showed the issues in Northern Ireland were perfect and very much necessary, minus the use of the d-slur specifically which wasn’t necessary to the plot.)

Anyway thank you so much for the ask anon! This was much more rambly than my usual posts but I just really have a lot of opinions on Derry girls because it does mean a lot to me and it often does hit close to home.

#derry girls #michelle mallon #erin quinn #clare devlin #enya discusses: derry girls #long post

[dorkylittleweirdo]

the lesbian himbo solidarity post

okay so. basically this dude named max was in my anatomy class and we sat next to each other for the whole year so we had No Choice but to vibe

~

so he’s a Large football jock and i’m smol. we were both seniors tho and there were only three seniors in that class so we bonded over that. so he looks,, really scary tbh. like. ya know. the Exact type of person who would bully you and call you slurs. so i was like “oh god oh god oh god” every class bc i was like “this is it, this is the day i Die by his hand”

~

the first time we really vibed was when i came from culinary one friday bc i had culinary right before anatomy. and i had Cookies. a lot of them. and i had them in a little brown paper bag sitting right in the corner of my desk just bc like why not. cue max rolling up to class, throwing his stuff down and coming up Right Next To Me and Intensely eyeing the bag before going “hey jc, whatcha got there”. and i went “...cookies from my culinary class” and he just “👀👀” so i go “do you,, do you want one?”.  g r a b s  the bag while yelling “HELL YEAH” and really excitedly just eats a cookie and i just go “you can,, you can just take the bag if you want”. he obviously took the bag. we were Bros from that day on

~

i was Notorious for being the Class Nerd bc i loved anatomy and i had over 100% in the class. he was Not as into anatomy and just wanted to vibe and i feel that bc i had a class like that too, so i just gave him my notes and warm up answers to copy bc i’m Like That. we had like,, a system in place, so he would tell jokes or just say random shit and i’d kinda laugh and vibe while taking notes

~

one time i was kinda tired and staring off into space and he rolled up to class and goes “jcccc why are you saaaad :((” and i was like “i,, i’m not???” and he was like super confident that i was Going Through It and was like “you can’t lie to me, i already saw that sad face” i’m like “you mean my Normal Face???”. but so while i was taking notes that day, he leaned over and drew a lil happy face on my packet, so i looked over and smiled at him. aND NOT EVEN A MINUTE LATER, he leans back over and turns it into a dick. and i go “b r o  i gotta turn this shit in i’m gonna get in trouble?????” and he Panicked on my behalf, Stood Up in his seat,  Y E L L S  to the teacher “SIR, I DREW A  M A L E  G E N I T A L I A  ON JC’S NOTES, IT’S NOT HER FAULT”. teacher just Looks over at us, blinks, goes back to his lecture. my face is Red, max turns to me,  w i n k s, and goes “i gochu”

~

so my group Abandoned Me one day for a lab bc neither of them were there and i rolled up to the teacher like “k i’ll be Stabbing A Brain alone today” and my teacher’s like “but??? you need to Poke A Brain With A Group” and i go “but i have None Friends and my group mates aren’t here”. so max heard this whole interaction go down and is like “jc i Cannot Believe, you’re gonna group with us”. drags me over to some other people who sit near us that i anxiously vibe with, who had apparently been struggling to stab the labels into the brain for like seven minutes before i rolled up. max goes “okay guys jc’s in our group”. everyone’s hype. i labeled it, filled out the sheet, let everyone copy it, and all of us vibed for like half an hour

~

he was struggling to label to bones in the body for our warm up. two minutes in he goes “damn i know like,, four of these. jc how many do you know”, looks over at my worksheet, his eyes pop out of his damn skull. “JC ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS”. holds up my worksheet that’s completely filled out, points aggressively at it while looking at our teacher, “ARE YOU SEEIN THIS SHIT???”

~

straight up asked if i was a mom one time bc he said i give off “mom vibes”. his response to me not wanting kids was “really??? i want like six”. appreciated me saying “oh, well i want a career” a little too much bc he couldn’t stop laughing

~

a regular occurrence was me finishing a worksheet really fast and standing to turn it in, then max going “sit your ass back down, i needa see that” followed by “bro i appreciate you actually letting me copy your shit but Please write neater”. his handwriting was worse than mine and he could read my writing but he likes to Complain

~

another Regular Occurrence was me finishing a test in about five minutes followed by him yelling “JC ARE YOU  F U C K I N G  KIDDING ME”

~

i’d bring food from culinary a lot and he’d just go “👀” and i would just give it to him and he’d be so excited and go “jc you’re the best” while proceeding to shove a cupcake down his face or whatever else it was i brought while  M O A N I N G

~

he asked me one time why i’m so nervous around him, and he was probably expecting me to say some shit like “oh nooo i’m not i’m just Shy tm” but i Instantly responded with “bc you look like you’re gonna call me a slur in the 7/11″ and he was so genuinely upset and he goes “noooo jc D: i’m not a baseball boy” and i Died

~

some dude smacked him on the back of his head and he goes “OW MY-” looks at me, “hey jc, what’s the back of the head called again?” and i go “the occipital” and he’s like “great, thanks”, turns around again to the other dude, “MY  O C C I P I T A L”

~

“jc have you ever been depressed” “max i have depression” “sick, you should listen to this band”

~

he slowly tried to put something on my desk and i was still adjusting to “okay not everyone is gonna hit me” and thought he was trying to do like a fistbump or something. and he goes “oh no i wasn’t-” and i’m like “oKaY yEaH iT’S fiNe”, he puts whatever lil eraser on my desk then goes “NO NO, GIVE ME SOME JC” and fistbumped me but it still Haunts Me bc he Was Not Trying To Do That

~

“i’m gonna go as a cop for halloween” “...okay max” “all i have to do is wear a wifebeater shirt” “i-” “because. because ya know. cops beat their wives”

~

asked what kind of music i listen to once, and i went “uh,, it depends” he goes “what are you listening to now??” aND I HAD TO GO “um,, bruises and bitemarks” and he screeched bc whatever he was expecting from the shy quiet girl who sits next to him, it was Not That

~

so i wasn’t sure how to like,, come out but i have a bunch of gay pins on my backpack so i didn’t know if he knew or not. but then one time he just starts asking the people around him if they would kiss/date someone of the same gender. so i go “i mean,, yeah” and he goes “wait really” and i was Scared tm bc oh god here it comes. i go “yeah” he goes “full gay or like bi” and i was like “full,, full gay. i’m a lesbian” and he’s like “BROOOO THAT’S SICK :D” and he was so genuinely excited that i like girls

~

ever since he found out that i’m a lesbian, he would move his desk reeeeaaally close to mine to show me pictures of girls and be like “hey hey what do you think of her”, trying to invite me to parties so he could set me up with someone, attempting to be my wingman

~

he constantly shoved one of his earbuds into my ear so i could bop to his music with him. set his phone on my desk a few times so i could choose something and i go “oh no, i have garbage taste in music” and he goes “well i don’t, that’s why you’re choosing from my playlist” and i just Sat there like “wow okay but also that’s valid”. he shockingly had a few songs on there that i listen to, so we vibed to those. he listened to my playlists a couple times and he’d be like “most of these are either depressing, horny, or gay, and that sums you up pretty well” and i was Offended but he’s right

~

“hey jc, what’s the bone that sounds like my name” “...maxilla???” “fuck yeah, there’s a bone named after me”

~

asked me if i ever had a girlfriend before and i was like “n o  :((((” and he’s like “on god bro, you gonna get you some pussy”

~

every time he’d see me out of class, he point at me and wave really aggressively and be like “HI JC :D” and i’d kinda wave back really shyly while watching him tell whoever he was with that we were bros. after a couple times, i asked him next class why he waved at me and he’s like “why wouldn’t i??” and i go “um. bc you’re pretty popular and well liked and nobody knows i exist and i’m pretty uncool????” and he deadass is like “J C  NOO YOU’RE REALLY COOL WYM PEOPLE LIKE YOU” and that’s how i found out that people actually knew me bc a bunch of the football guys i talked to in anatomy would point me out when they saw me bc they liked vibing with me so that was A Time. made sense why random people would like,, nod at me while walking by

~

i brought cookies for my teachers and friends on valentine’s day and i gave max a couple and i was like “hey i’m giving these to all my friends so like here” and he just “jc you consider us friends???” and i thought he was gonna laugh at me and i just went “ah,,, yeah” and he was So Excited

#theres probably more tbh #i just dont remember rn #anatomy class #high school #school #school stories #we stan a himbo #lgbt #lesbian himbo solidarity #lesbian #himbo