#ive been having such bad problems w sleeping | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ellecdc · 2 months

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Mother, im sitting here at 4am, eating mini easter eggs and ive had tge most brilliant idea!! (Inspired by @inkdrinkerworld 's fic)

Okay so, poly!moonwater and readers been having trouble sleeping due to tensions/problems with her pureblood family. As a result shes been taking more naps, but they arent restful. So reader were napping in Rems bed (the dungeons were too cold) but after a fitful 30 minutes she gets up groggy, sleep deprived and beyond frustrated. She stumbles her way down to the common room, pin point Sirius lounging across the couch and promptly throws herself down to cuddle with him and continue her nap. Everyone (minus Siri) is shook. Jamie even asks if she got the wrong person because Reggie was sitting over there (in which he got a one eyed death glare before she burrowed into Siris chest and passed out).

Now, what everybody else didnt know was that Siri had more or less adopted reader as his own (she remined him so much of Reggie, being her big brother was 2nd nature). And while Barty was her person, he was a little too crazy to be comforting in this situation ("y/n, i'll get rid of them for you. Its not hard to do so" "Barty, no."). And of course Siri nows how bad their kind of familys are so he'd been taking care of reader on the down low as an older brother would.

Bonus if Reggie then decides that looks warm and fuzzy and wants Siri cuddles too so he joins ( it took him so long to get to a point where he could let himself be vunerable enough to openly allow Siri to take care of him 😭)

aweeee poor reader. this ended up being way more serious than I thought it would be? like it's not funny at all, there's no humour (which feels odd to me, usually I can throw some jokes or banter in there) but plenty of hurt comfort???.......idk, I can't tell if this is any good, it feels very different from my usual pieces

poly!moonwater x fem!reader whose family sucks (but it's very Sirius-centric)

CW: mentions of insomnia, mentions of abusive families, making fun of only children (sorry), hurt/comfort

You were miserable to say the least; you couldn’t remember when the last time you had a restful sleep was, and nothing you did seemed to help.

The closer it got to the Winter Holidays, the more your mind seemed to spiral. Every time you began to relax, your heart pounded as if you’d accidentally leaned too far back in your chair, reminding you of your upcoming visit home. Every time you closed your eyes, you were bombarded with images of angry faces and violent curses being shot at you.

The Slytherin dungeons were too cold, and every time you found your way into Regulus’ dorm, Barty insisted on butting in, and though you appreciated his support, you couldn’t handle his threats promises to burn down your home with your parents in it.

Remus and Regulus both suggested you perhaps talk to Madame Pomfrey about getting some dreamless sleep or sleeping draught, but you were too embarrassed to admit to your two overprotective boyfriends that you’ve used them so frequently during your life for this very reason that they had lost all efficacy.

It had gotten to the point that you managed to get the most sleep in the library bent over the table with your face on your book whilst Remus and Regulus did their work (and sometimes yours), and that honestly left you feeling more painfully tired than you had been before your nap.

So, you were nearly falling asleep at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall over your chicken and roast potatoes when Remus gently nudged you and suggested you go lie down for a bit and you wanted to weep into your potatoes which was only slightly less embarrassing than sleeping in them, causing him and Regulus to bring you up to Gryffindor tower.

You’d kicked them both out of the Marauders’ dorm room after some time – Remus for snoring and Regulus because the sound of him turning the pages of his book was distracting you. He promised to stop reading, but then he breathed too loudly and you started crying.

You were overtired, emotional, and running on fumes.

You’d counted puffskeins, you’d had a warm glass of milk, you’d taken off articles of clothing and reconfigured your outfit numerous times (which was currently Remus’ jumper and no pants), and you’d tried every position imaginable to no avail.

You think you might have perhaps gotten five minutes of sleep before you woke up with a start, a barely repressed scream grating through your teeth.

Feeling disturbingly weepy and no less groggy from your horrid sleep, you pulled on a pair of your sweatpants and grabbed the throw blanket from the end Remus’ bed before trudging down the stairs to the common room.

“You should have seen the look on Filch’s face- oh! Hi Y/N!” James called as you made your way over to the three-seater and stood over the black-haired boy currently occupying it.

“Oh, Trouble.” He cooed sympathetically at you before kicking his feet out, laying back, and opening his arms for you to join him. You quickly climbed on top of him, and he tucked you in between the back of the sofa and his side, bending your knee so that your thigh rested on top of his, and pulled the blanket over the two of you.

You let out a shaky sigh and felt the first few tears fall from your eyes and onto Sirius’ chest.

“Uhm...” James said loudly, looking over to both Regulus and Remus cuddled in a large plush chair from his place on the loveseat with Lily like ‘are you seeing this right now?’. “I think you’ve got the wrong wizard there, L/N.�� He said with a nervous laugh.

“No, she’s quite alright.” Sirius gritted back at him, looking far more severe than James thought the situation called for as he rubbed his hand consolingly up and down your arm.

James looked to your boyfriends, his face clearly asking all the questions that his mouth wasn’t.

“He helps, sometimes.” Regulus admitted, not looking particularly happy that you chose his brother over him, but not nearly as murderous as James figured he might look if he’d found Lily snuggled up like that with some other bloke. And it appeared as though the look of heartbreak on Remus’ face was caused more by your current sorry state and less about your current cuddle partner.

“But...your brother?” James asked, still befuddled over this development. “Doesn’t she usually go to Junior for things like this?”

Sirius scoffed. “Junior’s solution to almost anything is fire or murder.”

“Or both.” You whimpered quietly, causing Sirius to tighten his arm around you and bring his other hand up to continue stroking your arm.

“Besides, Barty’s an only child.” Regulus said flippantly.

“What’s that got to do with it?” James asked, slightly offended at the insinuation that anything may be wrong with him on account of his only child-ness.

Regulus’ irritable demeanor over Sirius usurping you was quickly replaced by a cocky smirk at getting under James’ skin.

“Let me ask you this, Potter: last summer when Lily returned your letters unopened and called you an arrogant toerag after saying she’d rather date the giant squid, whose arms did you cry into?”

“He didn’t cry.” Lily laughed at the same time as James answered “Sirius’” without any hesitation.

“What?” Lily asked, looking slightly horrified that she may have actually hurt James’ feelings.

“Oh, all the time, every time, actually.” James said readily.

“He got snot on so many of my favourite band-tee’s, Red. As a matter of fact, I expect retribution.” Sirius commented.

“And why do you think you cried into Sirius’ arms?” Regulus continued.

“Well...because he’s my best mate.” James said simply.

“You may think that’s the reason, but you’re wrong. It’s because Sirius is an older brother.”

James scoffed at that. “Please, that has nothing to do with it!”

“Have you ever cried in Remus’ arms?”

“No, but-”

“Pettigrew’s?”

James grimaced but answered honestly. “No.”

“No. Because they’re not older brothers.” Regulus said definitively.

“That actually makes sense...” Lily mused aloud.

“You say that like you’re surprised, Evans. I know you’re not used to good idea’s coming out of men’s mouths, but I do assure you it happens more frequently than you might imagine.” Regulus taunted, earning him a pillow being hurled at his head.

Much to James’ chagrin, his seeker reflexes caught the pillow before it made impact with his face.

“Tosser.” James grumbled.

“Would you guys shut up.” Sirius whispered, causing everyone to look over at you.

Regulus couldn’t even find it in him to be miffed when he saw you sleeping what looked to be quite peacefully in Sirius’ arms. Your eyes were slightly swollen from your tears, and he could see the tracks they had left on your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose, but you looked so content.

“So... all big brothers know how to do that?” James asked incredulously.

“I doubt it.” Sirius commented quietly.

“Only ones who know what it’s like to live in a Pureblood hellscape and needed to share his bed with his younger brother who was too scared to sleep on his own for years.” Regulus added quietly, staring unseeingly towards you and Sirius. Remus pulled Regulus tighter into his side and began rubbing his arm consolingly.

Suddenly, things started to make a little more sense to James.

“I’ll write to mum.” James stated, causing both brothers, Lily, and Remus to look at him bemusedly.

“About what?” Remus asked finally.

“Y/N staying with us.” James said simply.

Regulus opened his mouth ready to argue; to argue that James didn’t have to and that he already took in both Sirius and Regulus. James didn’t owe Regulus anything.

But Sirius spoke first.

“She should be with her big brother, Reggie.” Sirius said, shooting him an encouraging smile and wink.

And seeing how your breathing had fallen even with your mouth slightly ajar as you clutched to the fabric of Sirius’ jumper like it was a lifeline, who was Regulus to argue?

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genderkoolaid · 8 months

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yeah im a aro-spec lesbian and ive literally been told that im 'reinforcing the predatory lesbian stereotype' bc i still sleep w/ ppl even tho im not really interested in dating rn. it doesnt matter that there are plenty of other lesbians that have casual sex, but apparently thats fine since they can fall in love but its bad when i do it bc im just 'using ppl' and 'have commitment issues'. even tho the women i sleep w/ all know and are fine w/ there not being any potential romance. but yeah amatonormativity totally isnt a problem in the lesbian community 🙄

yeah godddd even in queer spaces im super hesitant about being openly aro. cause casual sex/FWB is all fun and quirky when you're assumed to be allo and will eventually get a romantic partner/view casual sex as a gateway to romance. but if you are openly aro and want casual sex/FWB/sexual friendship/etc. then you are reinforcing stereotypes/internalized homophobia/traumatized/commitment issues/a heartless slut preying on allo people (who have feelings while we don't because we're incapable of love or being hurt!)

i think a lot of allo people don't understand that there is a difference in how people treat someone whose "taking a break from dating/sex to focus on themself" or "just having fun and letting off steam" and an aro/ace person just. existing and doing anything at all. if i told people i was taking a break from dating pr wasn't looking for anything serious right now they'd be totally chill, but say i don't feel romantic attraction, never want a romantic relationship and my ideal relationship is "friends with benefits"? suddenly they treat me like i'm a dr. phil guest.

and its bitterly ironic for the exact reason you mentioned: allos accuse us of "leading people on" and tend to assume we're going to be somehow toxic or abusive or predatory in relationships. and so we'll be so painfully clear about what we want and don't want and get confirmation that its okay a million times.... and then our allo lovers will get mad at us for not being okay with things we explicitly said we weren't okay with, and for not falling in love despite our explicit explanation that we don't fall in love.

#m.#ask box

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louellaby · 8 months

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FORGET-ME-NOT

REPLACED!MC AU

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

W A R N I N G

May contain bad grammar, limited vocabulary, and OOC characters. Please mind that English is not my first language, and it takes a lot of courage for me to post due to my anxiety and paranoia.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

taglist: @books-and-catears @owl778

C H A P T E R I V

「 Call My Name 」

It was early on a Saturday morning. The breakfast for nine people had already been prepared by you and Lucifer, despite knowing that not everyone ate breakfast together during the weekends. But after some convincing much earlier that day, Lucifer agreed to let Soley feel more welcome than he intended to. With your persuasion, of course.

Leaving Lucifer to wake his brothers up, you left on your own way towards Soley's room just down the hall from yours. You couldn't hear anything happening from the room, indicating that maybe she was still asleep, but after you knocked thrice and called out her name, she responded and opened the door. There Soley stood in the same clothes she had worn when you left her the night before. Her eyes were slightly puffy, mascara seemed to have wiped off with traces of it messily smudge under her eyes, and her sclerae had hints of red. She didn't get any sleep at all.

You knew she had a hard first night, which reminded you of your own, so you showed her a worried look and asked how she was faring. Without a second thought, Soley grabbed your hand and pulled you inside the room, closing the door behind you before throwing herself into your embrace. She quietly sobbed, muttering that she wanted to go home. But both of you knew she couldn't, just like you couldn't. One year is such a long time to be suddenly kept away from the life you were comfortable in.

As you held the poor girl in your arms, rubbing her back to calm her down, that's when you decided to stay by her side. To make her feel like one year wouldn't be that long a time. She just needed to enjoy it like you did, and only the right people could help her do that.

After you calmed her down and helped her get ready for the day, the two of you headed towards the dining room where everyone was waiting. The sight was just as you expected it— some frowning at the idea of being woken up early, some still having a bedhead, and some hiding the fact that they were bothered by the sudden change. But the brothers knew they couldn't refuse a request from you; it was you, after all. Their one and only MC.

"Good morning, everyone," you greeted as soon as you entered the room. The boys' heads turned towards you, and they lit up at the sight of your bright smile in that seemingly awful and gloomy morning. "I'm sorry for changing our schedules this abruptly, but I thought it would be great for all of us."

"Don't worry about it, MC," Beelzebub responded, his mouth already full of food. "I'm happy to eat breakfast with all of you."

"Yeah, it's no problem," Mammon added, shrugging his shoulders. "It's not like it's a big change, ya know. I mean, we eat breakfast every day before school anyway."

"Says the one who wouldn't get up from his bed and had to be dragged out," Levi sighed before rubbing his tired eyes.

Without letting them wait another minute, you headed towards your seat at the other end of the table across from Lucifer, who sat at the host's end. You let Soley sit next to Beelzebub, just to your left, knowing that he's the one who'd have the least problem with it. "Sorry for making you wait. Let's eat!"

"It was the same again," Soley sighed and squeezed your hand tightly. Feeling defeated, she hung her head and stared at the ground while the two of you walked through the well-lit streets of the Devildom. "MC, I know you told me to prepare myself for noise while we're living there at the house, but are they always that quiet during meals? They barely spoke a word to each other, and only seemed to answer you and any question you ask them."

You hummed in answer, pulling yourself deep in thought as you let your body move by itself. You were sure of it by then. The brothers don't like being around the new human. Even Lucifer, who at least tried to tolerate you and your behaviour on your first year despite going against his rules and orders over and over again. Still deep in your thoughts and memories, you let your mouth respond without thinking of the consequences, "The way I made them like me was to be assertive and spend time doing the stuff they like. Maybe you could do that, too."

Soley's eyes widened. She lifted her head and looked at you with your eyes still focused on the road but your mind wandering freely. She was about to say something, but because you were deep in thought, she wondered if you would hear her, so she just shut her mouth and thought for herself.

'Be assertive and do stuff they like... hmm.. That's easier said than done, really, but if MC could do it... then maybe I could, too... I could even get closer to those brothers than MC already is if I do a better job than expected, right? It wouldn't hurt to try...'

Soley kept her eyes at you, examining your face as you smiled wholeheartedly at everything you thought would help her or suit her. She stared and stared, pondering her next move.

'Actually, it might hurt, considering how protective those seven are of MC, but if I stick to them and keep pretending to be their friend, then maybe I'd be safe.'

'It's just for one year, after all. I've had to put on a mask for thousands of people for much longer than that. This should be easy.'

Long days and weeks have passed since Soley arrived at the Devildom and began attending RAD as the newest exchange student from the Human Realm. You thought it was going great. In fact, you had high hopes for the programme, just like Diavolo did. You saw first-hand how Soley was doing with the crew from the House of Lamentation. She managed to break the ice with them, and they began inviting her to do their hobbies. There were just times when she'd be vulnerable against other demons, so the brothers are even more protective of her whenever they go out with her.

The weird thing was that... the brothers seemed to be spending less time with you.

"I'm sorry, MC, but Soley wanted to go to a casino with me. But don't ya worry, I'll bring ya back somethin' when I win big! Always trust me to give you the best presents you've ever gotten, alright?!"

"Sorry, MC. I can't play with you today. You see, Soley and I have been trying to beat our high score for the game you and I last played together. She seemed determined even when she's a worse player than you, but I like having to teach her everything about gaming! While she and I keep trying to beat the score, I'll find a new game for you and me to play together, so wait for that one, okay?"

"Oh, hey MC. Do you need me to go to the Royal Library with you? I really want to, but Soley and I have a reservation at that popular cat café that just opened yesterday. I managed to get two tickets for you and me, and when Soley found out about it, she insisted on going with me. I'll take you next time and I promise it'll be worth your while! If you find an interesting book at the library, would you mind telling me about it when I get home this afternoon?"

"MC, there you are! What are you doing here all alone? Well, anyway, what do you think of my new outfit?! It's great, isn't it?! Soley is an apprentice of her mother, who's a famous designer in the human world, so she picked out this outfit for me! I'm wearing this to the upcoming ball, and I'll be the star of the show! Don't worry, we'll pick your outfit for you too, and we'll make sure you're shining as much as me! I mean, you already do, but we've got to show it more! I'll be going now, okay? Byeee~"

"I'm sorry, MC. I wanted to buy you food too, but Soley's been missing human world food, so we ordered a lot of her favourites for tonight's dinner. Since it's food from the human realm, you're bound to like it too, right?"

"M... C...? Oh hey... No, no, it's fine. I don't mind you waking me up. Oh shoot, it's that time already..! I have to go now. Soley and I planned to go shopping for new pillows today. Thanks for waking me up, MC! I'll buy you a new pillow too, so look forward to it!"

They all said that they'd spend time with you after being with Soley for most of the day, but they never did. They broke their promises, but you couldn't bring yourself to be mad at them. They did bring you stuff from wherever they went with Soley.

Mammon brought you presents bought with the money he won after winning with Soley by his side. Something about that didn't sit right with you.

Leviathan found a new game that the two of you could play together, but since Soley was still insisting on beating your score, you had to play the new game by yourself; not that you wanted to, of course. You just decided to wait for the third-born until then.

Satan brought you sweets from the new cat café. Apparently, they were selling one of your favourite desserts, and Satan bought you that. Along with your favourite, there was also something else in the box. It was another dessert that Soley chose for you. A dessert that you weren't fond of. Maybe Satan forgot to tell her that you didn't like that one? That should be it, right?

Asmo returned from his shopping spree with Soley, dozens of bags full of clothes and accessories on both of their arms. When he saw you, he gave you the bags filled with his chosen outfits for you and told you to try them on and pick an outfit for the ball. After that, he left with Soley back to his bedroom to check what they all bought. Do you really want to wear an outfit they both chose for you? Of course you did. You were, in fact, delighted that they thought of you.

Beel bought ingredients to cook your favourite meal. Soley convinced him to let her help cook, and he did, but in the end, they failed, and you got food poisoning. You already knew from her first night that she didn't know how to cook. You cooked the dinner that night after all. She just helped decorate the dining table.

Belphie brought you a fluffy pillow. You recognised it as the one you've been eyeing whenever you go pillow shopping with him. You were touched that he noticed and remembered, except that he didn't, and Soley was the one who recommended that for you because it looked like something you'd want.

The only person left in the house who didn't spend much time with Soley was Lucifer. But it's not like you could spend time with him either since he's too busy keeping himself drowning in his paperwork. And whenever you did want to help him, you found Soley in his office, already helping him with the papers. It made sense for her since her father always had paperwork, and she'd always help him out when she was little. You noticed that the tension between them seemed to have dissipated.

You had nothing left to do in the house but wait. Wait for them to approach you. Wait for them to send you a message. Wait for them to ask you out. Wait for them to give you something they thought you'd like.

Wait for them to just... call your name.

「 LOUE'S LETTER | CHAPTER V 」

#obey me #obey me angst #obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me replaced mc au #obey me brothers #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #Forget-Me-Not

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ratsoks · 1 year

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If it's no problem, could you do a Villain Deku x reader where reader has Depression and anxiety and gets triggered by loud noises that sound argumentative or like said person is disappointed in them? And they overthink things & think they are a disappointment and they aren't enough and can't do anything right, all that good stuff. They also struggle with remembering to drink water and sometimes skip a meal. The loud noises could just be people yelling at each other or at them. If you could do something like that and it be a fluff that'd be amazing <3

Oh, and of the things that help calm them down is listening to music and they have a very slight shake in there hand and they also appogize A LOT. They also have very shitty memory so, sometimes they forget things and scold themselves for doing so.

Srry if this is all confusing or unspecific. I was just jotting ideas for this down 😅 I hope this made sense and it would be amazing if you could do it, no pressure and you don't have to if you don't want too-

a/n — SORRY IVE DISAPPEARED FOR MONTHS uhh has it been a year........ blinks BHWAHGAH burnout is crrazzyzyy BUT IM ON SUMMER BREAK NOW so hopefully ill be able to write more thumbs up emoji anyways TY FOR REQUESTING ANON!!!!!! i love details pls don't apologize for specifying what u want :) gender — neutral (no pronouns mentioned) warnings — depression, anxiety, mentions of breakdowns, mentions of medications, mentions of forgetting to eat, mentions of yelling

bro THIS MAN growls barks howls at the moon

he's fucking WHIPPED

he would do anything for you anyways, but????? you crying??????? he just???????? combusts?????

whether you cry a lot or you don't, midoriya is always there to wipe your tears away with gentle gloved hands. a warm drink of your preference would be pressed into your palms, and the man would never pressure you to tell him what was on your mind unless you wanted to SNIFFLES

he himself has never liked loud noises—the loud explosions coming from bakugou's hands has always unnerved him ever since he was four—but it never got to the point where he was triggered by it

in some way, when he first encounters you getting triggered, he feels mildly prepared on what to do, but at the same time, comfort differs for everyone.

he knew what he liked when he got upset, but the same couldn't be said for you

he didn't want to trigger you any further

tldr MY MAN WAS NERVOUS HBWAHAH

if you're not touch-averse during times of distress, he would take your hand in his and gingerly stroke the back of your hand with his gloved thumb

if you don't like touch, he'll hang back and talk to you softly, whispering encouraging words and maybe even humming a gentle song in order to calm you down

when it comes to self-deprecating thoughts, izuku is always there to help you

constant reassurances are made, and izuku vehemently stamps out any sort of thought that nobody likes you

while he doesn't want anyone to like you except for him, he can make some exceptions for his precious angel

depression often makes it hard for you to be able to do anything, such as brushing your teeth, drinking water, or even getting out of bed

izuku is able to coax your sheet-encased form out from the bed and into a warm bath with him, lighting some candles and pouring some bubbles in the water

depression also fucks up your sleep schedule; you either sleep way too much or not at all, but no matter what, izuku makes sure that you don't mess it up too bad

he wakes you up when you've slept for at least seven hours (will occasionally let you sleep for more but too much is bad for u) and will sing/soothe you to sleep when you can't

you feel terrible for keeping him up at night bc like!!!! ur such a nuisance!!!!!! dawg what why would you stay up w me im such a bad person!!!!!!!!!

and he's like >:(((( babe >:(((((( tf do u mean ur a bad person >:((( honey UR GORGEOUS and then he will proceed to pepper u with kisses all over ur face bc he's a great boyfriend :)

he will rob every single bank in japan just to get u a decent pair of headphones and i will stand by this fact until the day that i expire

since listening to music calms you down, headphones are a must in his eyes!!! even if you don't use them a lot, or even at all, deku always likes to be prepared :))) it never hurt anyone :))))))

if meds are prescribed to you, izuku will make sure you take them whenever needed

all in all he's like the best boyfriend ever mwa

he may be a villain but he's not evil!!!!!!! god!!!!!!!! get with the times broski

#shoutout to all of the requests on quotev and tumblr that are rotting in my inbox <3 #yandere villain deku #x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #gender neutral #villain deku x reader #villain deku #villain midoriya #bnha #boku no hero #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #fanfiction #jamie's posts

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alyimoss · 24 days

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Yeah I'm also new to tumblr that's why I'm doing this (re: starlo dad ask a few days ago)

Also do you have starlo hcs

lmao welcome to tumblr

and yeah ig but theyre not rlly?? idk substantial?? its been a while since i was insane abt uty, ive been meaning to replay it but stuffs been getting in the way.

anyway heres a couple

i think hes a good cook. i like the thought of him teaching ceroba how to cook, too (she almost set the kitchen on fire, they yelled about it in fear, had a couple drinks, then almost set the kitchen on fire again and yelled abt it). he also is the one cooking for the rest of the feisty five more often than not (they others are mostly ok at cooking tho. ed's really good, but struggles sometimes bc his hands are too big to be able to properly use certain utensils and appliances. moray is also a pretty good cook and help ed out a lot. they make a great team. ace is alright, can definitely follow a recipe, and is really good abt finding ones the rest really like. mooch.. mooch wouldnt go hungry if she lived alone. but shes generally not allowed to cook. has a no-bake dessert everyone loves though, she makes it on holidays and special occasions and to bribe the others)

this isnt my hc but i dont remember who i first heard it from but i loooove the hc that star glows when hes flustered. i think when he first started crushing on ceroba and theyd have sleepovers, hed just start glowing at times and shed throw pillows at his face telling him to stop bc she couldnt sleep

on that note, consider the bunk bed in his room. him and orion definitely shared. and orion definitely dreaded ceroba sleeping over bc her and star would share a bed and stay up late joking around and playing and talking and whatnot and hed often have to get up and just leave to go sleep on the couch or with their parents. they got into arguments about this.

he runs warm. dont hold his hand unless you wanna get sweaty.

in the case of clover lives/dadlo, hes the last one to know that clover thinks of him as a father figure. everyone else knows, either through observation or clover accidentally calling him dad in front of them or them just admitting they think of him as their dad. star probably learns of this via ceroba or dina or one of the five or someone telling him "you know clover thinks of you as a father figure, right?" and he bluescreens about it

im not like. the biggest corn yaoi shipper ever, but i think its cute (and the name makes me laugh), and i think dalv confesses first. theyre in some fancy restaurant or something and star asks "so, what'd you call me here for?" and to that dalv responds by just blurting out that he thinks hes in love with him. and star immediately chokes on his food bad enough he needs medical attention.

so ceroba mentions in-game that living w the feisty five is a bit of a nightmare bc of the sleeping and the fact that everyone has some kinda problem that specifically makes it hard for her to fall asleep. i think star is actually pretty normal in terms of sleep. might snore lightly if hes in an uncomortable position, but overall just quiet. the rest of the five dont fare so well. ed's got it best, he just snores. loudly, but everyone other than ceroba is just kinda fine w it. moray grinds their teeth and needs to be restrained or theyll end up halfway across the room from where they fell asleep. or farther. ace sleepwalks and talks. ceroba once woke up to him eating the berries off the plant on the dresser by her bed. still asleep. mooch also grinds her teeth and "sleep steals", aka waits for everyone else to fall asleep so she can go through their stuff. star, despite being able to sleep through everything else, somehow has a 6th sense for her or something, because he very consistently wakes up to catch her red-handed and chew her out

thats all i rlly got lmao

#fin finks #starlo uty #i dont wanna tag the rest :/

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moonjxsung · 2 months

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STAR IM DEVASTATED so i have a priv twt acc right w some irls and this stay from stayville req-ed me a long time ago and i was soooo happy that i was mutuals w someone from stayville and i THOUGHT everything between us was cool? but today they unfollowed me and removed me as a follower and im devastated i dunno why they did that :((( i don't think they had a problem w me saying nsfw stuff cuz they previously tweeted things like "cancelling someone over saying smth nsfw abt an adult is stupid" and also ive seen them interact w nsfw minsung posts so i dunno if me tweeting smth like "i wanna suck flxs cock sooooo bad" couldve made them wanna break the mutual??? i dmed them too and i was like "heyy is there a reason you don't wanna be moots w me anymore </3" and not even minutes later they turned off their message perms and im devastated. its STUPID bcs they'd barely interact w me Sure but it felt nice to have a stay be my friend on my priv twt that's usually just for my irls and i </3 it's ironic that they did that too bcs just earlier today (before they broke the mutual) i noticed that my followers went down (i have a very low amt already. like. 25. not even joking) and i tweeted "yall dont wanan be friends w me anymore </3" bcs like. my followers are QUITE LITERALLY only my irls + a skz writer so i was (i think rightfully??) alarmed that the number went down!!!! man im just Sad about it and SIIIGH i know i shouldnt care so much bcs at the end of the day they're just a person online but the least they could've done was dm me back and explain why and GHFSDDSJHFKJADDSDSAAAAA you get me!?!! also im sorry i dropped this on you randomly feel free to ignore LMAAOOAOAO can i be 💫 anon? thank yew <3

(Adding 💫 to the anon list!!! Also fun fact that’s my favorite emoji of all time. Slay)

I feel like I’m the LAST person who should be giving advice abt this bc one of my mutuals and a very good friend of mine who I’d been talking to every day randomly blocked me on everything this week after me literally being there to console this person for every little thing and playing into this pretend homoerotic friendship we had even though she was clearly looking for another boyfriend and would get mad if I even called another girl pretty (???) I wish nothing but the absolute best for her but like…. The double standard is WILD. to not provide closure to a months-long friendship is just genuinely a very mean spirited thing to do imo.

(If she’s reading this, best of luck with everything and I hope you know I cared for you a lot more than you think I did. I distanced myself because you were clearly looking for someone to fill a void in your life that I could simply not fulfill, and I didn’t want to lead you on, nor be kept around like I wasn’t allowed to talk to other girls either. Regardless, I hope you know I used to sleep with my phone on full volume in case you called, and I deleted a page worth of poetry in my notes app for you I meant to deliver on your birthday. I also deleted your number so I have zero way of contacting you, but I will always be here if you need me. Take care and I love you always, I hope you still see me when you look up at the moon)

It’s not the first time I’ve lost an internet friend to the magical world of blocking, but fortunately the attitude I’ve developed towards it is that none of this is real!!! These are people on the internet miles away you’ve never met irl and they have no real impact in your life whether they remain following you or not. I’ve lost internet friends nearly a decade ago that I don’t even remember anymore. Better ones will come along!!! Especially stays! This fandom has so many beautiful remarkable people who are actually worth following and they wouldn’t cut you off like that. Sending so many positive vibes your way and I KNOW that the universe will send you some better mutuals. In the meanwhile I will be your internet bestie and I would never unfollow you for nsfw content or without some form of an explanation. And I also want to suck Felix’s dick. 🩷🫶

(I love you, don’t be so hard on yourself!!!! You’re wonderful, angel 🩷 anyone would be lucky to be moots with you)

#💫 anon #ask

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impunkster-syndrome · 2 months

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thank you so much for talking about sparklecare's ableism. ive always had issues w the comic (the aus as well) for the terrible portrayal of physical disabilities and you made me feel really seen. - another physically disabled, chronically ill person

Sorry anon, taking this whole ask as a chance to explain why. I do appreciate it, though.

I see almost all media as somewhat political because it often comes from the politics of the author. It comes through in choices that might not even seem to matter to most- like Alice killing Dr. Bumby in Alice: Madness Returns. It was intended to be McGee's own moment of catharsis and to make sure he wouldn't come back in the story. He, as someone who has experienced abuse, got catharsis from killing a fictional abuser but he is also fully aware that most abusers never face consequences for their actions. The game is about trauma, abuse, and how abuse is perpetuated by many people who have power in different ways. That game altered me so severely with one line that it had sown the seeds for turning me punk: "Who benefits from your madness?"

I've been slowly trying to work through Lolita because I come through it from the angle that Dolores Haze's story is silenced by Humbert Humbert's. Vladimir Nobokov claims that it means nothing, but has also likened it to the idea of a caged animal creating art of the cage that surrounds it. He knows Humbert Humbert is a predator and has always stated that. He saw a problem with the world and wanted to talk about it.

Terry Pratchett's Discworld is social commentary all the way down and the man took pot shots at JKR for her bad queer representation with Dumbledore and the house elves heads on the wall. JKR's writing of Harry Potter is inseparable from her politics because there is no systemic change. She mocks the character who sees slavery as bad and wants to provide systemic change. The blood racism house is never changed or removed after it literally leading to wizard fascism more than once.

Fictional media is fundamentally how people parse the world around them and get to understand it, which is why critique and analysis are so important. This is not to say "Problematic media should never be interacted with and anyone who likes x is inherently bad" but instead "Know when your favorite media is being bigoted and how."

I'm no stranger to being so abused and unheard that your outlet is fiction as a cry for people to listen to you. I was going to make a twine game about my own child abuse and sleep deprivation hallucinations that I dealt with before I even was a teenager. I wrote about a dog wanting to kill itself. I wrote about being so devoted to someone you would let them kill you. I had things to say that were unheard because of how abuse victims and children are never listened to. In shorter terms- Fictional media is extremely powerful and there's a big ass reason why Atlas Shrugged is not only political theory but also fiction.

Sparklecare is important because it clearly is not merely vent media. It has things to say. Kittycorn can say it is vent media all kit wants, but it went from being called a social commentary to being called a vent piece and criticism of healthcare systems because of me pointing out the issues within it and treating the comic as it wants to be treated. Kittycorn has things to say and uses claims that it is only vent media to protect kits actual views from critique.

Being a creative exposes how you see the world in a very personal way, even if it is not directly a social commentary at all. What you create, how you create it, and what the audience is are all ways that you can get a glimpse at who the creator is and what they believe. The audience for Sparklecare is people who have not been institutionalized or hospitalized so they can understand kits experiences. It is done in episodes online and often uses drawn gore and strong visuals to try to get its point across without giving people a moment to digest what happened and reflect on it. Dissecting media is super important to creatives because it means people understand the messages we want to say.

Using an example from music- the song Dirty Harry by Gorillaz is anti-war. But people don't really seem to care all that much. If you pay attention, it criticizes how soldiers are pawns to the powerful and ultimately expendable to the people at the head of the conflict while the soldiers suffer as a result. It talks about the fear after 9/11. From books- Animal Farm is not anti-socialism. Orwell was a socialist who fought fascists.

Creatives need critics and analysis in order to help understand ourselves and how others view the content we make. It's a part of a healthy creative ecosystem. The response to Sparklecare's ableism being pointed out being absolute shutdown from the fanbase and meltdowns from the creator is indicative of an unhealthy fanbase that functions with little thinking about the media and what it is saying.

From the text, I can tell that Kittycorn has little experience with physical disability based on the ableism seen in the comic and the writing of physical disabilities barely having any impact on the characters, as well as the fact that she is using a general hospital in place of her experiences in a psychiatric hospital as if they are the same. I could tell no one involved is active with disability advocacy or justice because of writing all nurses as good when in reality nurses hold power over their patients and that can harm us through neglect and abuse, not just doctors. Nurses are a part in systemic ableism. In order for the comic to not continue ableist rhetoric, Kittycorn needs to confront things from a systemic issue point of view and not "Greedy capitalist bad" view which is reductionist.

Kittycorn wants to inspire others with her story- a noble aim, sure, if a little idealistic. But how it (Sparklecare) is going about doing so is harmful to the people kit wants to advocate for.

#sparklecare #sparklecare hospital #the blackbox askbox

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444meat · 3 months

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amnesia is so awful but also it is kind of silly the strategies i have had to devise to get around it

like i've been having this issue for months where i have one med i'm currently on n i have to take it three times a day, but i would constantly forget, and i would be scared to take two doses by accident... so if i couldn't remember if i had taken it, i would just wait another six hours just in case

and i couldn't set alarms cuz the time i take it depends on when i take the first dose that day, which fluctuates cuz our sleep schedule is bad

here is our current strategy:

the pills are in 3-a-day pill containers, so we know we can't take an extra dose by accident, even though it is the Only Med we take

every time i take a dose i take a photo of the empty container and my hand like 👍

and it WORKS!!! i know i can't take more than three a day. i can look at the photos to see what time i took the last dose so i don't take them too close together. but it's also very silly cuz ive got an album on my phone titled "i took my medicine" with 18 photos of me like 👍 next to my med container.

there's no further point to this. it's just silly. and problem solving is fun sometimes, even if the problem is an annoying problem i shouldn't have to deal w in the first place

🪷

#systuff #mental health #sysblr #did #dissociative system #actually dissociative #did system #dissociative identity disorder #osddid #words #🪷

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mpregfrance · 6 months

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Alright to start this ask off I'm just gonna say my interactions w/ you have genuenly been one of the funniest ive had in a long ass time. I've read ur recent post and I empathyse a lot. You seem incredibly funny and genuine. Idk your situation and your background and even your age, but I think you can and are pulling through. Things will get better even if you dont actively want them to. Im not saying this in a vague hope to make the situation you are in better. Im telling you, as a person who from the age of 14 went from therapist to therapist, somehow been on meds that dont fuckin exist yet in croatia, someone who feels trapped in the very /country/ she lives in with no means of escape, someone who is "waiting" for things to finally financially/academicaly/politicaly be better so that I can make something of my life. As it did for me, you will feel joy again in what you do, in what you have, and in what you can achieve. I think it's ok to be down, its ok to feel like "if a bus hit me tomorrow i wouldnt protest" but the thing about people is we adapt rather quickly. So putting yourself out there, going to places you are scared to and believe yourself to be an outcast from is exactly what gets you to meet people and see things that youll remember forever. And after a while the outcast will stop coming to these places, the person there will be someone who belongs. Apathy is a way of saying "fine whatever i dont even care anymore" but youll see how much you care.

I started getting ok after a full decade of *trying* and what I've always found is that for me the saying "don't take anything seriously" is no.1 rule. I get worked up, anxious and overwhelmed with so much so many times.

You may have problems with people at work with friends and whomever, but the main thing you gotta remember is *you cant change anyone but yourself*

And its not a change of personality, hair color, interests, its how much something will get to you, how willing are you to give something up thats not working out and how you will percieve something.

I have no doubt that you know all of this crap but i guess i wanted to say all of that just bc there is no greater pain for me than when i see someone feel like i did regardless of the reason or situation.

Keep on truckin and doing what u love even if its mpregfrance posting. I will always be here to send you to liking-france-jail, mwah <3

hello my sweaty angle <3 i'm sorry i'm just replying to this now. i had to sleep on it because your thoughtfulness deserves a sincere reply.

first of all - thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being so kind, sweet and insightful and offering your support.

the fact that you would take the precious time out of your day to write this out for me is, in a word, unbelievable. i really appreciate you checking in, it's an incredibly caring thing to do. to be honest i'm a little overwhelmed by the magnitude of this unexpected message and i wish i knew how better to express my appreciation.

i really do love to hear that i made you laugh. i live to shitpost. i've always prided myself on my sense of humor and sometimes i feel as if it's slipping away, so it's reliving to hear i've still got it.

unfortunately i still haven't had the strength to eat. i'm heading to work in a bit. things are pretty rough right now, but when have they not been? obviously my present circumstances aren't the root cause of all my problems. in fact my life has improved since moving here.

extensive bianca lore and vulnerability under the cut, apologies in advance.

basically, in so few words, my current situation is that i'm nearly 25 and have nothing to show for it. i've lived in different cities across the US, had great jobs, apartments, friends, roommates, relationships, etc. i have done a lot of living in a short amount of time. but then, in retrospect, it feels like it stopped.

about 3 years ago i was in a very bad place mentally due to the isolation of the pandemic, and i met my husband online. in early 2022 i gave up everything, saved over $10k for the visa and moving costs, and relocated from the US to australia to live with him. our relationship itself has improved from how it used to be, but since the beginning we've had seemingly endless bad luck and financial setbacks.

last year, not long after our (very disappointing) wedding, i suffered a devastating miscarriage. ruptured ectopic, massive internal bleeding, required emergency surgery etc. not only was that traumatic emotionally, but i wasn't eligible for healthcare at the time bc of my immigration status, so we're still paying off the medical bill.

we share a house with my mother in law who is a domineering, emotionally incestuous single mom and an emotionally abusive narcissist. i don't throw that term around lightly, as so many people do these days, but i honestly believe she's devoid of empathy. she's admitted that she dislikes me and thinks i'm stupid because i don't talk much, and goes out of her way to make me feel unwelcome.

so i'm stuck in an area that feels, to me, like the middle of nowhere. i'm not homesick, i love this country. it's just that i'm not used to suburbs. i feel most comfortable in a city where there's people and places and things, neon lights and background noise and stuff to do.

i'd would be happy to live anywhere as long as it's not with her. it honestly feels like a prison sometimes. that sounds dramatic but she's cultivating an unbelievably hostile environment that causes me to feel on edge whenever she's around.

needless to say we need to move, desperately. it's our #1 priority. more than anything else i want a place of our own and eventually a family. we've been actively househunting for the better part of a year, but the rental market is catastrophically bad right now. it's not even about the money, since we're both working we can afford a decent place. it's just that it's so competitive. every showing i've attended, there's been like 30 other prospective tenants. we've been turned down from every apartment we've applied for.

on top of our living situation i have complex health issues that are just getting worse. my energy is zapped. trying to balance work work and housework leaves me with almost no free time to write.

this barely scratches the surface of why I Am The Way That I Am™. i'm not saying any of this to evoke sympathy or brag about 'having it hard'. simply trying to explain. my upbringing was abusive and dysfunctional in a number of ways. i just barely graduated high school. i never had traditional opportunities, i was raised in a way where there's basically no assumption/expectation that you'll ever be successful or fulfilled. i'm diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD and bipolar 2 - haven't been able to get my proper meds in australia. i've been addicted to hard drugs and alcohol. i'm not pleasant to be around. i will probably always look like and act like the lower class, white trash girl that i am. i have spent my entire life in survival mode.

i'm always in the midst of some identity crisis or running away from something. so yeah, i've been hurt and downtrodden. i've also experienced the beautiful side of life from time to time. i've gained a breadth of knowledge and met incredible individuals who introduced me to new perspectives and i'm forever grateful for them. with the way i've lived, i'm very lucky to not be dead or incarcerated right now.

ok, pity party's over. for real this time.

you're pretty much describing exactly how i feel. you know the struggle. the part about waiting to live my life; that's precisely where i'm at. i don't necessarily have a desire to fit in, i just want to get away into somewhere that i can adjust better to.

my isolation is partially due to a lack of energy but also i don't seek out interaction because i'm afraid no one else can understand me. not because i believe i'm too 'complex' or 'damaged' to be understood. that's a load of self-pitying bullshit. it's just scary to be truly seen. or vulnerable. or genuine. bc the results of such openness are unpredictable and uncomfortable.

it's hard, but i know i have to find it within myself to take that push. what's holding me back right now is mainly my material conditions, circumstances out of my direct control. i have no doubt i'll feel at least 50% better when i stop living with this woman.

i certainly have no problem with starting over if something doesn't work for me. contrary to what i might've described, i believe i'm pretty well adjusted, self aware and rational. as is obvious i don't take many things that seriously lmao. i went from caring wayyy too much about everything, being overly emotional and sensitive, to going entirely with the flow and accepting what i can't control or predict.

also i am well aware that you can't change people, that's never been my goal lmao i've never needed someone to tell me that <3

tl;dr, thank you. so much. this really uplifted and inspired me meli, thank you so much for being so thoughtful and compassionate.

it sounds like you're also stuck between a rock and a hard place in your own environment, and i'm sorry to hear that. it's a wretched feeling but i believe you you will thrive no matter the setting, because in all seriousness, you're incredibly talented. i hope you know you should follow your dreams. hell, it looks like you already are and you're giving us the privilege of witnessing it. your art is stunning, the passion and care you put into your work is obvious. your matthew is absolutely beautiful - like his maman.

from a rabidly devoted france woobifier to the designated france hater, i'm only going to say this once but you are validated in your distaste. i understand. you gotta admit though, he is a MILF.

if one thing is certain i will never stop frussyposting. in fact right now i am thinking about france hetalia big fat juicy boobies mmmm milky squishy. i'm giving her a teensy tiny little slut waist and childbearing hips. i would give him a brazilian butt lift but he doesn't even need it!!!

if that is a crime then lock me up. please. strap on the handcuffs and throw me in the crate for naughty little freaks teeheehee >:3

be careful tho. if you keep sending me gay ass love letters like this they're gonna start shipping toxic yuri melianca even harder <3

#this made my day #this ask gave me bottom emoji eyes!!!#DM me if you want babe #ask and ye shall receive #tw vent

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petewentzisblack1312 · 4 months

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hi i wanted to ask something but also share something personal as well. my q is: do you feel like your relationship w social media has changed? meaning, do you catch / notice when you are on it for too long and you start to notice, and then you say: okay let's take a break. for me, i have been online for a long time ever since i was a kid, and now my relationship to it is i only limit myself an hour to being on my phone. as an adult now i am no longer social media "obsessed". like, when i am in school i am not thinking about online, i am present when im at school. i feel like i am really close to just deleting sm tbh. it does not grant me happiness like it used to. now as an adult i feel this need to live my life freely.

i also wanted to ask what are ur thoughts on content influencers? to me when i see these ppl i think...i could never post about everything about my life, but then again understanding that it is just a highlight reel. no one is posting every sad / frustrating thing that happens in their life as influencer, only the "great" parts.

this is an interesting question! i think ive never really had a relationship to social media where i feel like i need to post constantly or felt pressured to share everything. while im definitely the most online out of my household, compared to a lot of other people im not really very present online. i dont like using twitter, i only really use instagram to look at and post art and occasionally post a picture of my cat or nature or food on my main account, i dont really get up to much and i never use facebook unless i have to. i hate it. even here on tumblr i dont post a lot about my personal life unprompted, and this is the social media site i use the most by far. i do scroll tumblr a lot, i do watch a lot of youtube videos (though almost exclusively video essays on politics and recently also artist vlogs) and i do notice myself scrolling a bit too much, particularly when im overstimulated but instead of doing something less stimulating im anxious and looking for a distraction so i like. scroll harder. but ive never been like doing something else and thought 'man, i wish i was scrolling right now'. i dont really know. i do have trouble putting my phone down, like when i need to sleep, but i have trouble putting ANYTHING down. games, books, art or writing or projects im working on, music im listening to, i dont think tumblr is special, its just another activity for me to be distracted by.

all that being said, i did leave social media for a while. i had a really bad experience in a fandom on tumblr (not the pwams incident. that led me to step away from bandom and move to another fandom) and honestly it made me realise that the problem i had with social media wasnt that i was using it too much, but that i had a toxic relationship with the communities i was interacting with on there. the nature of my relationship to social media was unhealthy, not the fact that i had one that was a large part of my life. i think when i wasnt using any social media i actually wasnt in a great place either, because i was isolated from people id cared about, especially since i had just undergone a very traumatic incident, and because of that became very isolated from my in person friends as well, even before the pandemic pushed me away from even the acquaintances i had made. i was worried about coming back to tumblr, but i think ive grown and learned in such a way that i know how i like to comport myself in cyberspaces, and that its been good for me in a way. which is weird, but. i think id kind of have to go in depth about my life and how the pandemic affected me and the specific nature of coming of age in st lucia and stuff. which i dont want to do haha.

as for influencers. i hate the concept. i understand it, and i dont universally hate influencers as a whole, but like. theres this specific kind of content creator where the thing they are sharing is just their life and there isnt like a specific thing theyre logging, like an artist sharing their creative process and how they manage their life around that, or a chef sharing recipes, and its not like theyre doing it just to do it, they have the goal of growing a following, and theyre not advertising anything but themself, like JUST themself, as a person-brand, and i find that so deeply annoying and repulsive. and like thats strong wording its a dog eat dog world and the girlies of all genders need to secure the bag like i get it. i get it. but its revolting to me. like. the vlogbrothers werent trying to get famous they were using youtube to communicate with each other and as an open video diary and people found them to be interesting personalities to watch. right. do you get it. annoyingly i gotta put myself out there if i want people to find my art and pins and stuff so i have to fuckin. make videos. sell people on me. the idea of making vlogs makes me dry heave bc im not important i dont want to have to sell myself like im important i dont want to put my face on a camera and implicitly say with every quirky performed statement i make 'i matter, pay attention to me, i need to exist so look at me' but unfortunately i might have to. a video essay i could do. thats me saying something. but a vlog? with the goal of people finding my stuff? good god. it sounds like poison.

#dils declares #my tripod is broken so im using that as an excuse to not vlog.#i can do shortform video. thats dispassionate.#thats 60 seconds of selling myself or more likely my stuff in a highly edited way #there is no veneer of authenticity. no kayfabe.#i can do that.#but a whole fucking vlog? nauseating.

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