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how do you just get up and deal with the fact that there’s a last time for everything. there was a last time you sat on your dads shoulders and there was a last time your mom tucked you into bed. there’s going to be a last time you kiss your sister on the head and there’s going to be a last time you hug your best friend. there’s going to be a last time you feel exactly as you feel right now and there’s going to be a last time that person says i love you. i need to lay down

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LMFAOOOO ELON MUSK JUST GOT STABBED BY AN EX TWITTER EMPLOYEE

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amore

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someone brought the professor and katie brought god to eugene’s puppet themed birthday party i’m 🥹🥹

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another hit from the World's Most Functional Website

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"will is soooooooooooo buff he could lift mike with just his pinky omgggggg he's so much bigger and stronger and masculine and—"

and then this is the will in question:

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The following two posts were shown in this exact order as I scrolled down my dash and the arrangement was so perfect I felt the need to preserve it in amber forever:

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So you’ve got this bitch-ass fitted sheet that you would normally pile into a ball and shove into a closet so you won’t have to deal with it, yeah? Well. Quit acting like a piece of linen is better than you are. You can make a fitted sheet bend to your will. And here’s how…

First, put your sheet on the floor. Stand above it for a few seconds so it knows who’s boss.

Then, put your hand in the lower left corner so that it’s inside out. Do the same to the lower right corner.

Now, your lower left and right corners of the fitted sheet should be inside out. (Shoutout to Amy Poehler, love your work).

Then, take the lower left corner (that’s still inside out) and tuck it into the upper left corner. It should look like the picture above once you’re done. Then, do the same with your right corners.

It should look something like that. Right now, she’s your friend at the end of a good night out. Doesn’t look really bad, but you know she deserves better. 

Pull at the corners until you get something like this shape, as it makes it easier to fold. You’ve given your friend some plain white bread and a glass of water. She’s looking much more presentable now.

Now, pull in at the elastic until you make a rectangle. You’ll want to tuck and smooth the excess fabric away from the elastic seams and towards the closed edge of the fitted sheet.

Once you’ve got a (semi) neat rectangle, fold the the top of the sheet down about a third of the way through. I like to fold the upper part of the sheet down first, because it’s not as straight of an edge as the bottom. You can find your own meaning within that description.

Now, fold the lower portion of the sheet on top of the part you’ve already folded down.

Fold the left side of the sheet into the middle, and then fold the right side of the sheet on top of what you just folded. 

Congratulations. You just made a fitted sheet your bitch.

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i did my part 🫡

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in fact the best screenshot taken from a top5 ep

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Tumblr Top 5 is for the bisexuals

So I guess Top 5 Beatdown is for the demons

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omg look its zombie boy and zombie girl

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there’s obviously a lot of nuance to to this conversation, but I feel like the way that people nowadays talk about friendships is so cold and devoid of love or empathy. like you aren’t allowed to complain or be sad, ur burdening ur friends with ur problems, helping someone through a hard time is ‘emotional labour’ and ‘you don’t owe anyone anything’ and I’m just thinking what does friendship even mean to you then? like honestly? people say ‘I’m not your therapist’ as if therapy is the answer to everything. what a sad world where a paid clinician is the only person you’re allowed to be emotionally vulnerable with. this ultra individualistic mindset leads to everyone feeling alone and isolated and we’ve lost all concept of community and support systems

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i love you spatial horror i love you fucked up houses i love you neverending corridors i love you doors that lead nowhere i love you something evil under the floorboards i love you architecture that doesnt make sense

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what was your almost name? mine was sofia

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I think the message of Howl’s Moving Castle is that in order to maintain a successful relationship with some kind of fucked up wizard, you must find it in yourself to also be some kind of fucked up wizard.