#its just that this camera dID NOT want his shirt and skin to be different colors 😤😤 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theplumsoldier · 10 months

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money shot

summary: when recruiting you, pedro didn't realize he would get jealous from seeing other men fuck you, so he decides to pull your jobs, now only offering you solo scenes. you (dumb and dubious) ask why.

pairing: porn director!pedro pascal x reader

warnings: 18+: p in v sex, oral sex (female receiving), vulgar language, pet names, dirty talk, lil self-doubt

word count: 2,9k

˗ˏˋ inspo ´ˎ˗ & @cannolighost for the idea (hope i did it justice babe!!;3)

When the man who approached you, talking about "star quality", handed you his business card, you glowered up at him. "Porn?"

He frowned and surprised you as his hands waved around in such animated gestures, which merely added to his charismatic demeanor. It also made the muscles in his tan arms protrude from his Versace silk shirt. "I prefer the term 'adult film director'."

Glaring at him with squinted eyes, you looked back at the card. Bubble productions. You snorted.

You had done this kind of work before. Amateur style, of course. With your old boyfriend, actually. At one point, he had convinced you to make a little home video, just for the two of you. You enjoyed the way you looked on the camera, which made it a whole lot easier for him to persuade you into letting him upload it. The two of you ended up filming yourselves regularly and sharing it online—and it gained a lot of attraction, too.

Now it had been a couple of months since your break-up, and frankly, you missed it. Not exactly the relationship itself, but feeling sexy, feeling admired, and worshipped by random people online. You had thought about it before, doing porn at a whole other level, but had dismissed the thought as quickly as it merely reminded you of him. The cheating bastard.

This time, with this man asking you to be "his new star", it was no different.

As you gave him your best smile, he thought he had reeled you in, but you then you kindly told him to "fuck off" and spun on your heel.

It wasn't until a few of days later, when you were scrolling through your feed and found a picture of your ex with a girl, that the thought occurred to you again.

You convinced yourself that it wasn't to make him jealous, simply for your own good, to give this thing a shot and do something fun for yourself. That same day you rummaged through your purse, certain you had shoved the business card away as opposed to throwing it into the trash, and sure enough—your eyes gleamed with a certain thrill as you dialed the number.

Of course, you couldn't just accept the offer right away. You needed to know what kind of thing you were getting yourself into, set some boundaries if you were to do this, and so you asked Pedro to meet you for a couple of drinks.

Pedro smooth-talks you all night and reveals what he's been thinking. Truth be told, you didn't have a lot of expectations, but he made his business sound just glamorous and the money was not too bad either.

He ensures you that you would be able to add input, requests, and such, and insisted that "it was all up to you". You told him that if you were to do this, you wanted to be able to turn down anything, anyone, no questions asked and he did not hesitate to agree.

At some point, you excused yourself and disappeared into the bathroom. While feeling the soft alcoholic buzz enveloping your body, you felt his eyes on you and naturally became aware of the sway in your hips.

Pedro was certainly not bad-looking. With his brown hair, caramel eyes, and honey-dipped skin just begging to be licked, you began wondering if he himself had starred in any productions. You certainly would not object to a bite of him. While his charm had its wanted effect on you, you convinced yourself it was simply his eccentric persona, and not something directed specifically at you.

This charm he wields just so appears to comfort you, and welcome you to join his alluring lifestyle that it made you feel warm and fuzzy. It might be the alcohol, but he spoke with such passion, an intensity that it compelled you to take his hand and dive headfirst into his world.

Then came the dour reminder of your ex-boyfriend. He had been the one to put all these thoughts into your head in the first place, so you wondered what he would think. Would he reach out to you again? Would he be jealous? Or would he perhaps just think you for a slut?

A part of you wanted to provoke something inside of him—might be jealousy or even anger, a little possessiveness, just the right amount of toxic.

No.

This was not about him. It's about you.

With that inaudible dialogue with the bathroom mirror, you finally returned to Pedro. His skin was dewy from the heat and alcohol, and his enormous hand (which made the glass seem miniatures comparison) put his drink back down. He cocked an eyebrow as if quizzing you.

"I'm in."

The first day on the job was fantastic. There was time for the crew to mingle, the actors got to know each other a bit and you wrapped up with a nice cumshot on your tits. It was fun. You immediately felt that Bubble Productions were a safe space. The crew was focused on making the actors feel hyped up and confident, as you did your thing.

You figured it was quite normal to see a few boners here and there amongst the set crew, but you couldn't help but notice the tent in Pedro's pants as he directed from his chair. There was a point where he became unusually quiet, which made you think something was not to his liking. But as the cameramen flocked and closed in on you, you figured he was just concentrating on the money shot.

From then on, you found yourself with just three days of work in a week, trying different things with both guys and girls.

A couple of films later you began realizing Pedro had decided to take things down another road. Lately, he had handpicked you for several solo shoots, and you began pondering whether you did something wrong while performing with other people. While you enjoyed having to focus on just yourself, as well as being the center of attention (more specifically the center of Pedro's attention) you couldn't help but wonder.

Had someone complained about you? Did the audience not like you as much as they did in the beginning?

It prompted you to stay behind one time after the remains of the crew had left for the day, wanting nothing but to please the man with the vision.

It was the first time you had been alone with Pedro since that night at the bar and as you approached him with nothing to cover your figure except a dainty pink silk robe, he was ready to renounce every bit of professionalism left in him to take you right there, on the setup of fluffy pillows, wanting to see you teary-eyed as he fucked you into the Love-a-Lot Care Bear.

When you asked him if the audience did not like you, he immediately assured you: "they adore you!"

It should have lifted a weight off of your shoulders, but it did not—you were convinced something was wrong.

So you asked him if anyone had expressed aversion to working with you and Pedro realized he was the reason for your sudden self-consciousness.

It made him feel bad, for cutting your gigs down to a minimum and only offering you solo performances had been a very conscious choice. The jealousy brewing inside of him as he watched you do the job he had given you—he knew it was unprofessional of him but when the sin turned to downright anger, he just had to do something—what kind of director would he be to fire men for doing their job?

"Baby, everybody loves you! It's just—the audience doesn't wanna see a pretty girl like yourself bein' ruined, they want you all to themselves! Your solo's been a hit—"

You could see his lips move around the words, but you zoned out for a second. Of course, the audience wants to see you being ruined by filthy men, you thought, and once again, the thought that Pedro wanted you became dominant.

Did he want you all to himself?

"The audience..."

"Yeah!"

You frowned at him. "So this has nothing to do with what you want?"

Shit.

You saw right through him. He had hoped you were just pretty and dumb—that would have made his case a lot easier.

He gave lying a shot. "What? No!"

Pedro hoped you didn't notice that his voice pitched an octave. It was too obvious.

Really, you thought it was cute how flustered he got. For a man directing adult films, you would never have guessed he would find trouble flirting.

You put on a pout and sighed heavily, drawing your hand up his chest to toy with the gold chain framing his thick neck.

"S'a shame. Had kinda hoped you made me do all those, 'cause you were jealous," mused you, feeling confident as you leaned closer and twirled the hair at the nape of his neck.

His tongue danced along the line of his bottom lip as his eyes trailed down to where your chest revealed itself beneath the robe.

"Jealous, huh?"

You nodded, pulling back to tilt his chin up so that you caught his eyes. It seemed as if though that had darkened, his pupils had dilated and you felt his cock had grown too.

"Wanted to know 'f it was 'cause you wanted me all to yourself."

The coy smirk grew. "That somethin' ya want?"

"Dont know yet," you shrugged.

Pedro closed the space between you.

"Lemme help you find out."

His lips were crashing against yours the next second, rough and passionate, hungry and needy.

You moaned into his mouth as you felt him slip down the robe and as it pooled at your feet, you were about to trip backwards. He didn't let you and in a swift movement, he had your legs wrapped around him.

The feeling of his restrained member made you all the more excited, and as he maneuvered you over to the set you had been coming on a little earlier, you keenly pulled him with you, eager to finally have him.

You couldn't shake the thought of him limiting your scenes. Had it been anyone else, who had done it out of personal interest, you would have been furious.

Pedro had noticed the way your moans had changed recently. When you played with yourself, made yourself come, your cries had become much more authentic, less of a performer, more of an aroused insatiable woman. He couldn't help but strive to make you sing for him, make you writhe, and make you beg for him to stop while simultaneously keeping his hand in place because you would fucking kill him if he dared cease.

He didn't want those pornographic sounds you offered the mic, he wanted those greedy moans to tear through your throat as orgasm after orgasm ripped from your body.

The kisses are wet with tongues and teeth clashing, but it doesn't matter because as the pad of his index runs through your slit, every thought disintegrates in your mind and your brain becomes mush.

"So sensitive for me, baby. Pussy sore from working so hard for me?"

"Hmpff..." you mewled, acrylics clawing at his back as you stuffed your head into the crook of his neck.

"Ya done so good for me, baby—you gonna lemme take care of ya, hm?"

You whined as Pedro's finger delved into you, the curious tip exploring and prodding at your walls. The combination of being touched by someone you wanted so badly as well as his significantly girthier finger made you gasp in a lower pitch, unlike that factitious moan his so-called "stars" had elicited from you.

It made him rock hard, hearing that genuine sound sputtering from your lips like you couldn't contain it.

He drew your slick through your folds, steadying your hips with his enormous hands as you began to squirm.

"Lie still, pretty baby," Pedro tsked, a devious smirk complimenting his face, and before you could protest he lapped his tongue through the wetness that had pooled between your legs.

Another moan, this untamed and frustrated, a whimper turning into a growl while your hips bucked upward, aiming to catch his mouth completely.

But he insisted—he was going to show you just how devoted he was to making you feel good, better than you did yourself. Pedro wanted you to know he had been schooling himself with those films of you, taking notes to make sure he knew exactly what you liked, and even what you did not know you liked yet.

You cursed when he inserted two fingers. Pedro's tongue occupied your swollen clit in such a way that it left you wanting more of him.

"Pedro," you moaned but as he hooked you with a third finger, curling them against your spongy walls, carving you perfectly for his cock, your pleads were punched out into cries.

"'S fuckin' tight, baby—who'd a thought such a little slut whorin' her body out would 'ave such a tight little hole?"

Under different circumstances, you would have punched the man calling you a slut in his teeth, but this, as Pedro claimed you, you found yourself desperate for the degrading behavior.

He pulled an orgasm from you before he allowed himself the pleasure of filling you with his cock, and as his member sprung free, you had to stop yourself from drooling.

A weeping head plastered on top of his thick, veiny girth, forged to perfectly destroy any woman.

It was almost sad to hide such a wonder from the cameras.

Pedro chuckled, cooking his brow, "impressed yet?"

Just to fuck with him, you put on an indifferent demeanor and turned on your stomach, pushing a pillow down under your stomach. He certainly didn't require an ego boost.

"I'll have to get back to you on that."

His hands felt so perfectly hot on your hips when he dragged your ass closer to him, propping you on your knees and slotting himself by your entrance.

You expected him to ram straight up into you and wanted to fucking cry when he merely dragged his mushroom head along your folds, collecting your slick in a fine mixture with his precum.

"Pedro," you whined in a bated breath. "Fuck me already—"

And there it was the merciless fucking. He bottomed out only to smash back into you, heavy balls slapping against your cunt with every thrust.

The sudden movement made your knees buckle beneath you and you were back on your stomach.

The new position did not seem to face Pedro as he continued to plunge into you from behind. If anything it allowed you to feel him even deeper, a bulge hitting the deepest spot possible making you sob into the pink Care Bear.

"Mmpff—fuck, fuck, fuck—"

Pedro caught your wrists in a harsh grasp, holding them steady on the small of your back to stop you from clawing desperately at him.

"'S the matter, baby? Didn't my guys fill ya up this good, huh?" It came out like a growl and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he fucked you at a relentless pace.

You couldn't help but love the way he called his pornstars his "guys" like he was some creep who had taken you prisoner, the sole purpose of your kidnapping being that you should be fucked day-in-day-out by him and all his ravenous men.

Pedro grasping at the roots of your hair, forcing you to bend back just enough for him to see your fucked-out expression, pulled you from your fantasy.

"Asked you a question, baby."

For the first time, the pet name sounded less affectionate; way too menacing to be loving as the cruel grip on your hair loosened, only to force your face down into the mattress.

"No, no, no!" you cried, barely able to form a proper sentence between his ruthless thrusts. "Ff-uck! Never felt this good!"

Pedro chuckled and abandoned his hold on you, his arm snaking under your body to skillfully locate your clit, deft fingers beginning a dance. You felt the coil in your stomach tighten, heating up as you neared your release.

Pedro emitted a sound, something between a growl and a moan, as he felt your pussy clench so nicely around his cock. Feeling your cunt choking his cock, he gave you one command in that cocksure tone.

Fucking you through yours, he slipped into his orgasm as you practically squeezed it out of him. His brutal pace faltered only when he pulled out and as you mourned the loss in your throbbing cunt, you hastily rolled to greet him with your tongue rolled out for him to paint.

His jaw hang ajar, eyes dazed as he watched you hungrily await his seed. With a few more pumps Pedro coated your face in hot velvety strings.

He leans back on his haunches, admiring his masterpiece for a minute or so. He wanted to take a picture of you so badly. If Pedro asked, you would probably say "yes", but there was something about this moment—this was your moment, something just for the two of you.

Pedro muttered something to himself, something you didn't quite catch between your frenzied phase and the buzzing in your ears.

"Huh?" you hummed, looking so not innocent batting your come-coated lashes at him.

His large hand catches your jaw in such an affectionate manner it made your heart flutter for the umpteenth time. Just then, for a second or two, Pedro looked as if he was about to say three very specific words. He didn't.

Instead, he shook his head and cupped your sticky cheek as he planted an uncharacteristically soft kiss on your forehead, before moving away — to get towels for the mess he had made (you were equally responsible) — murmuring with a small chuckle, "ya gonna fuckin' ruin me, baby."

#pedro pascal #theplumsoldier #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal au #pedro pascal characters #pedrostories #money shot

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save-the-villainous-cat · 1 year

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Hi uh.. wanna drop a request

Can you write about a depressed hero who has been sh a lot and really is not far from ending it only for the villain to discover this when they fight and take care of little hero ?

Its a lil personal request, I've been dealing with a lot lately and just .. yeah these bring me some comfort to read, I hope it's okay with you to write, if not always respectful. Take your time, I hope you're having a nice, chill day/night

Much love to you 🪅

tw: sh

For hours, the hero had been quiet now. They were sitting on the bed of the villain’s guest room and looked out of the window every now and then, picked at their skin frequently or just worried their lip between their teeth.

At first, the villain had decided to give them some space, just to give them the chance to get used to the huge apartment that was incomparable to the hero’s. But now, the villain was impatient as anxiety filled them up. They made tea again, knowing the hero would refuse anyway but at least it was an excuse to talk to them.

Talking was…difficult for the villain. They’d been raised to be an assassin. To keep their mouth shut and follow orders like a servant. So, expressing whatever they were feeling was often challenging. They rather made the bed for the hero, cooked for them or gave them gifts. They rather did something than talk.

“Tea?” the villain asked gently, a mug in each hand and pushing the door open with their elbow. They looked into the room curiously, eyeing the hero.

“Oh…” The hero turned around. “Oh, thank you. That’s very kind, you shouldn’t have…”

Before the hero could finish the sentence with “no, thank you,” they walked over to the bed, sat down and gave the hero the hot drink. For a few minutes, they both were silent but the villain tried desperately to find a topic to talk about.

“The bed is okay?”

The hero tore their gaze off the little park that was outside the house.

“Pardon?” they asked, tired yet polite.

“Are you comfortable here?”

Now, the hero smiled.

“Very much, thank you.” They put the mug down on the nightstand but the villain could see the slight shaking in the hero’s hands.

“You’re safe here.” The villain wanted to clarify that. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

“Why not?”

The villain didn’t know what to say, couldn’t find the right words. But they saw the scars on the hero’s forearms, saw the wounds they had inflicted on themselves. Undoubtedly, the hero noticed that too.

“Can I touch them?” It was a thought that had just occurred. The villain got reminded of the many scars on their own body.

The hero’s eyes widened.

“No one has ever asked me that before,” they said.

“Can I?” the villain asked again. They put their mug right next to the hero’s.

“Yes.” The hero’s voice was thin but they also pushed up their sleeve. Some scars were older, some were fresh. Without thinking too much, or better, without thinking, the villain’s finger traced a line down the hero’s forearm.

“Fascinating,” they said. “Our body takes care of us.”

The villain lifted their own shirt to reveal a stomach that was full of scars, one particularly nasty one was right above their hip. The skin was so thin that the muscles were showing.

“Got that one from a mace.” They let their shirt fall back into place.

“You’re very different from what I expected you to be,” the hero confessed. “I thought you were this ruthless killer who is heartless.”

“I am,” the villain said.

“You’re not,” the hero answered. “God, you’re definitely not.”

The villain had no clue what that meant. But they saw the hero’s eyes and their behaviour. Sure, they tried to hide it with a fake smile for the cameras. But the villain knew that wasn’t real.

“You deserve to be here,” the villain said.

“Oh…well, thank you for having me.”

“No,” the villain said. They looked the hero directly in the eyes. “I meant, you deserve to be in this world. You deserve to live.”

The hero broke the eye contact and looked down at their own hands. Silence.

“You live for others so lovingly. Patiently waiting until they need you and sacrificing so much,” the villain said. “I wish I could tell you how much I admire you. And I wish you could believe me when I tell you that you are loved.”

The hero was still silent.

“Can I take care of them?” the villain asked and to their surprise, the hero nodded.

After the villain bandaged everything, they went to bed but it didn’t take long for the hero to knock on the villain’s door, asking if they could sleep in the villain’s bed too.

Obviously, the villain agreed and held their hand the whole night.

#I hope you’re doing better!♡#writing snippet #heroxvillain prompt #heroxvillain snippet #heroes and villains #hero #villain #hero x villain #heroxvillain #an answer for an ask #request #tw: sh

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yourlocaldilemma · 9 months

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Golden thoughts {part 3} (ln4)

______________________________________________

lando norris x fem!sprinter!reader word count: 2.5k

part 3/? Part one, Part two, part three, part four

warnings: horribly translated french, jealous Charles

You turn your favourite playlist on shuffle in the background as you dance around the kitchen. You’re in a good mood. The last month had been scattered with very successful track meets and good progress in training.

Nights like these make you feel all the more content to not be looking for a relationship. Spinning around in nothing but an oversized shirt and panties, singing along to your favourite songs, cooking what you want, how you want.

You’d been independent and stubborn since the day you took your first breath, and sprinting had never changed that. Your training schedule made it difficult for you to spend time with people not that you had many people to spend time with so growing up you were on your own most of the time. Lots of people found it odd and many overstepped their bounds to tell you you should have a better social life, but you took the advice with a grain of salt. Maybe you should feel lonely, but you never did.

You’re in the middle of slicing lettuce and singing to Sabrina Carpenter when your phone vibrates. Reflexively you swipe left to clear it but pause and pull the notification back once you see who it’s from.

Charles never messages you on race weekends. You’ll text him good luck out of courtesy, completely aware that 9 out of 10 times he won’t respond until the race is well over with and he’s either drank, partied or cried the results to rest.

The Face ID lock spins before the message pops up.

The music reduces to dull thumping of a baseline as the three simple words glow on your screen.

“Hey, it’s Lando”

Even though he had left you his number that night in Australia, you hadn’t texted him or made any effort to connect with him. You had typed out a hundred different messages a hundred different times since then but couldn’t bring yourself to send them as you fought yourself mentally over why, why in gods name you even wanted to send them in the first place.

You could see that Charles, or Lando, or whoever it was, was still active on the account. If this was Charles idea of some late night joke you were going to let him have it.

“Prove it.”

Not even seconds after the message delivers your phone is vibrating, showing you your face as it prompts you to accept the video call.

Your hair is still in a high ponytail from earlier and your face makeup still looks half decent but you’re not wearing a bra, and the thin T-shirt you’ve donned does little to hide it.

You position the camera so nothing below your collarbone is visible and accept the call. Lando’s face fills the screen, looking pleased with himself like a 5 year old who just made a crayon masterpiece. You can distinguish the trademark red of a Ferrari T-shirt in the corner above him.

“Hello Y/N.” He grins like your name is the most interesting thing in the world.

“Hello Lando.”

“You never texted me. Now I’ve got a crazy Monegasque breathing down my neck like I’m trying to kill you instead of just talk to you.”

The words slip out of his mouth like it’s the most obvious and common occurrence for him to want to “just talk” with you.

“your only way of contacting me was calling me on Charles’ phone?”

“He and Arthur alike wouldn’t give me your number, instagram, or WhatsApp, because apparently they don’t trust me. Or they just doesn’t trust me with you, because for a reason conveniently explained only in French, they’re acting like they have a claim over your life right now.

He narrows his eyes and looks up at the shirt which you can now assume belong to Charles. You see his ring clad hand reach down into the frame and pinch Landos neck until the skins stripped of its colour and is left white long after he pulls his hand away.

Rubbing his neck, Lando shifts before meeting your eyes through the phone. “So this is me asking why you had a month and a half to text me, but didn’t. I thought we were best friends now.”

You can’t tell if he’s joking or not as he stares at you through the camera waiting for a response.

“Don’t you have a race to be preparing for?”

“Don’t even try that,” he hisses, “You know damn well that tomorrow is only free practice.”

“Lando I’m cooking dinner right now can I call you back later?”

“Call me back later on my phone, or Charles’ phone, who is now going to try to push me off the track this weekend?”

“I guess you’ll find out, won’t you sweetie.” The pet name you use sarcastically with friends slips out of habit but Landos eyes glint like diamonds and his grin widens until it looks like it hurts. He nods repeatedly like scolded child.

Charles reaches forward again, this time to take his phone.

“Jesus garde-le dans ton pantalon Y/N” *Jesus keep it in your pants

“Bon Dieu, calme-toi Charles.” *Good god calm down Charles.

“Il m'a raconté ce qui s'est passé en Australie!” *He told me what happened in Australia!

You switch to English again for Lando’s (who’s looking quite confused) convenience. “The last time I checked, it’s not a criminal offence to have dinner with someone. You’re the one who’s made it clear I should try to make more friends.”

“I didn’t mean F1 drivers.”

“Why does it bother you so much? You’re reacting like an immature toddler Charles.” He stares blankly at you, his eyes darkening into a deep amber and his neck tensing. “I have to go. Have a great night,” you deadpan before hanging up.

You fire Charles a short but supportive text after FP2 before pulling up Landos number hesitantly. Whether or not Charles is acting like he has a stick up his ass, he’s still one of your closest friends and you’d always watch race weekends.

Typing and deleting more texts then you count, you decide that, “amazing job today” seems about sufficient. It was true, Lando had done an amazing job today, setting the second fastest time across both practices.

Lando: Why hello there

Lando: would have set purple if I had my braid

Your mind runs to the interview you watched in Australia where he still had the small braid tucked into his curls. You had assumed for your own good it was an accident.

Sent: The braid huh?

Lando: I know you watched the race that weekend. I got pole, driver of the day and second place

Lando: which is basically first place because my little Maxy is in a fucking rocketship

Lando: it was cause of my braid

You can’t help but admire his innocent take on the properties of luck.

Sent: I’ve seen how hard you work. I don’t think it was the braid Lando

Lando: it was the braid. I haven’t gotten within the front 2 rows or on the podium since. Coincidence?

You’re not completely sure how to respond to his theory. Telling him it’s because dragging his car onto the podium is like trying to climb Mount Everest in stilettos, probably isn’t the best idea before FP3 and qualifying tomorrow.

Your phone vibrates again

Lando: You could come over right now and give me another one. Could use the luck tomorrow.

You smile at the message, feeling intoxicated by the determination and childlike happiness that radiates off Lando thick as honey.

Sent: I’m not coming over to your house at midnight to braid your hair Lando

Lando: tomorrow? 🥺🥺🥺

Sent: yeah we’ll see. Goodnight.

Lando: goodnight!

You fall asleep with your lips curved up into a small smile and thoughts overflowing with images of a blue eyed boy.

You’d be lying if you said FP3 went well. Charles and Carlos both went into the gravel and Landos best lap time was a full 3 seconds slower than he made in FP2.

Lando: I told you the braid was lucky

Lando: believe me now? 😛

Sent: You’ll be incredible in qualifying

Lando: location sent

Sent: what?

Lando: drivers parking lot. I’ll meet you there with a paddock pass. Then you can give me my braid

Sent: Charles will kill both of us, never mind all the press.

Lando: fuck

Lando: right

Lando: meet me here in 20 minutes then

His account then goes inactive, not giving you the chance to decline his offer. The address he sends you immediately recognize as a very expensive part of Monaco. Google maps shows it’s only a 5 minute drive but instead of trying to hail a cab in the thin streets you decide to run there.

The amount of bodies on the sidewalks makes it almost impossible to keep a solid pace as you follow the directions on your phone. The masses of bodies swirling around all seem to be going in the direction of the racetrack and it’s suffocating as the tide of people almost pulls you with them. Once you break from the crowds, the street you’re on is completely void of any human life.

A ping sounds through your headphones.

“You’ve arrived at your destination”

A large metal gate stands 100 metres down the road from you, well kept greenery and perfectly spherical bushes bordering the newly laid road. Behind the gate are multiple large flats and hints of the ocean glitter behind the white houses.

You glance around, feeling severely out of place surrounded by luxuries you don’t dare imagine for yourself. You scroll through your instagram feed leaning against a tree, liking your friends posts when you come across an old post of McLarens. It’s a picture of Lando on the podium in Australia, his tongue out and eyes squinted into the sun. Champagne covers his body and his face is printed by his balaclava. You once again see the braid you absently left in his hair. They had captioned the picture

“New tradition?”

For a fleeting moment you let yourself wonder if they’re talking about the braid or the podium before being yanked back to the present by car coming up the drive. You can only imagine it’s Lando as the car gets colder and you see it’s a McLaren. A gorgeous McLaren. You watch him reach across the car to open the passenger door. It slides upwards with a mechanical efficiency you can’t help but admire. You make eye contact with him through the windshield. He waves one of his hands toward the seat, motioning for you to get in.

The door clicks shut beside you and Lando drives a short few meters before stopping to unlock the gates.

“And you were impressed by my hotel room,” You mutter.

He laughs, eyes glittering. “Nice to see you too Y/N.” he pulls up to one of the flats. The exterior is almost completely white, excluding the huge oak door and black trimmed windows.

“Remind me what I’m doing here?”

He smiles at you with a tilt of his head, “Braiding my hair of course. Though I don’t have very long I told my team I was going to grab a hoodie.”

You can’t help but laugh, a real laugh, until small tears are forming at the corners of your eyes. Lando is smiling a small smile, watching you like there’s nothing else in the world worth watching. His eyes run over your face until you feel a blush bloom on your cheeks.

He clears his throat and unclips his seatbelt before shifting to lay his head across the low centre console, to the point where it’s almost on your lap. His curls brush your bare knees making lightning tingle on the surface of your skin. His hair is much softer than you remember it being and the curls untangle easily as you run your fingers through them before you begin to braid. Landos eyes close gently and a peaceful smile slips across his lips.

As you twist the strands around each other, it feels like the thousandth day you’ve spent time with Lando, rather than the second. It doesn’t take long to finish the braid and as you loop the elastic around the end he opens his eyes to look up at you.

“Is it weird that it feels nice when you’re braiding it?”

You smile down at him with question.

“No. You’ve never had someone play with your hair before?”

He shrugs as best he can with the awkward position he’s lying in, making no effort to sit up.

You’re barely breathing as you begin to play with his hair, terrified of overstepping, but Lando smiles contentedly and closes his eyes once more, nestling his head off the console more and further into your lap. The intamimte tension has millions of butterflies in your stomach and heat growing between your legs. When Lando lets out a soft involuntary whimper you draw the line and untangle your fingers from his curls.

“You should probably get back to the track.” You whisper. He groans, pulls himself back up into his seat, starts the car and pulls out of the driveway, one hand on the wheel and the other running over his new braid.

“Promise when the good luck works you’ll give me another one next time?” He calls after you as you climb out of the car.

“Sure.” You roll your eyes. “Pinky promise.” You stick out your little finger and he reaches across the car to meet it. His huge hand dwarfs yours as he intertwines your fingers.

He smiles at you, “It’ll work. Just you watch.”

You just grin back at him as you watch the car accelerate, the lights eventually fading away. The whole run home You’re in your head, replaying the otherworldly events that were the last 10 minutes.

When you get back to the hotel there’s still 3 long hours until Qualifying. Surveying the mess of track clothes and suitcases scattered across the room, you make the executive decision to spend the time packing for your early flight tomorrow as the sun shines bright honey light through the windows.

Lando puts it on pole.

By a whole fourth of a second. You watch the post-quali interviews with a haze of pleasant, but extreme surprise, and Landos head seems no less in the clouds than yours as he repeats the same approved script of answers to the different reporters.

Your phone vibrates less than 3 minutes after the drivers leave the media pen.

Lando:��I told you

Lando: want to come over?

You can’t believe your eyes. You’d never made such fast, whatever you two were, with anyone in your life.

You know Lando can see you’re still active, and his typing bubble keeps popping up and down like he’s deciding whether or not his offer was too much.

Lando: to re-do the braid of course

Sent: You’re ridiculous.

Lando: thank you. I’ll pick you up in an hour.

#lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris blurb #f1 x reader

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itsclydebitches · 5 months

Note

Cinder is a lot more sexualized then the male parts of Salem's inner circle

Like tyrian is shirtless sometimes but that does not feel as...drawn attention to, as say, the lingering shots of Cinder's butt or thighs. Or her wearing short shorts and high boots you know what I mean?

I do, anon. RWBY got a lot of attention back in the day for its anti-upskirt technology, but that doesn't give it a free pass for all the other ways you might (and it does) sexualize the cast. I've never been inclined to give RWBY too much shit in this regard because it is pulling from media with a LONG history of such designs and cinematography - it feels unfair of me to act like RWBY is uniquely responsible for such problems when I'm simultaneously willing to overlook, say, the 90's "gag" of Yusuke flipping up Keiko's skirt - but there's nevertheless a voice in the back of my mind constantly asking things like, "Why are so many of the girls fighting in heels?" and "Why are they dressed like they're going to the club and not the literal TUNDRA??" I'd kill for the whole cast, but the girls in particular, to get a re-design that focuses on fashionably compelling practicality, rather than sexy fanservice. (Though Ice Kingdom did a good job overall, particularly for Ruby.) Sure, RWBY didn't give us panty-shots, but one of the first characters we're introduced to is literally designed like a dominatrix.

If we're talking about outfits though... I'd say Emerald gets hit the worst out of Salem's minions. Yeah, Cinder is definitely sexualized in a more general sense as the tall, white (that's not a coincidence), long-legged beauty who sensually conjures fire as she prowls towards the heroes, camera focused on her hips swaying. But Emerald?

She suffers from the same problem Yang has. AKA, if your woman isn't classically beautiful (like Wiess and to a different extent Blake), or cute / child-like (Ruby, Penny), but is instead going for a sporty, comparatively masculine-esque vibe... then they've got to show a LOT of skin. RWBY makes it sexy by just denying them clothes. You're entering dangerous battles on the daily? You want to protect yourself? Too bad. The audience needs a midriff and cleavage and your whole arms to stare at. Shorten the skin-tight pants so we can see some leg too. Oh, Yang has to have long pants because she's heading into the coldest Kingdom in Remnant? Never mind that, cut a strip out to show her thigh.

"But Clyde, the girls don't need to wear armor because of aura--" then why the hell does Jaune bother wearing that heavy-ass suit? Is it weight training? Does he just think it makes him look cool? ...or does it exist in case his aura breaks and he's allowed to wear more protective gear because there are different gender expectations attached to his design? The aura argument is just a modern rehashing of the Supergirl sun argument: using made up lore to "justify" getting your women characters into skimpy outfits, despite the men rarely being held to the same standards.

Tyrian is actually an interesting exception here and if I were less tired I'd think through this argument more, but something something as the "crazy" character he's allowed more leeway in breaking those expectations. Also the open shirt shows off his scars, which likewise help sell how dangerous he is. With the exception of characters like Cinder and Nora - whose injuries are Important Character Moments the audience gets to see play out - scars are surprisingly uncommon in Remanent. Or, again, they're severely downplayed so as not to interfere with that classic beauty design (like Weiss', or even Yang who gets a perfect cut when losing her arm). So when you see a character with giant scars spanning the length of his chest, an open shirt drawing deliberate attention to them... that makes you go, "Oh shit. What's he been through to scar like that in a world where most people make it out of fights with no permanent damage?"

#rwde #rwby #mymetas #also sorry there's no readmore #tumblr won't bring it up for me :(#thanks tumblr

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oftenwantedafton · 11 days

Text

the new hire | steve raglan x female reader

rating | explicit

part 3/?

words | 3k

ao3 link

It feels different, opening up the restaurant alone the following evening.

You find yourself wishing for Steve’s presence for multiple reasons, not the least of which being at least it was somewhat comforting having another person beside you. You’d brought a flashlight this time, a little better prepared. It helps allay some of the discomfort as you proceed through the darkened dining room, glancing warily at the curtain shrouded stage before making your way to the back of the building. Once the lights are on you feel moderately better, trying to shake off your fears as you enter the security office.

As promised, there’s a folded pile of clothing waiting for you beside the keyboard that controls the monitors. A card bearing your name rests on top, the writing familiar. Raglan’s, of course. It seemed silly. Who else would be here? Who else but yourself would ever find these garments? The colors of the uniform aren’t so different from what you’d worn the previous shift. You realize you’d never told the social worker your size. You set the card down and lift the shirt, stretching it out in front of you. It seemed okay. Maybe a touch small. Same with the pants. Well, you’d make it work.

You glance around the room. Storage locker, coat rack, an out of date calendar and a poster of the lead mascots tacked to a corkboard on the wall. No windows. You should be safe getting changed here, but…you couldn’t shake the feeling you were being spied on. You bring the uniform with you to the nearby employee restroom and get changed in there, still feeling a little creeped out. The outfit does fit, albeit snugly. The buttons of the shirt strain more than you’d like. Not ideal, but again, who the hell was going to see you? It shouldn’t really matter.

This task completed, you return to the office and settle behind the desk. Your eyes scan the monitors for any signs of movement. Nothing. The card with your name still sits on the desk. You stare at the writing, debating about tossing it into the small wastebin beneath the desk, but it ends up in your pants pocket instead. You can’t say why. The business card remains on the desk. You figure in an emergency you’re going to want to have it readily accessible, not digging around frantically for it. Maybe you’ll bring tape and affix it near the phone permanently. That phone. So old fashioned. Still corded. You suppose it makes sense if this place had been shut for awhile. That was why everything seemed so out of date. Why would the owner bother replacing the older tech? Why didn’t they just sell the place, period? Even if its days as a pizzeria were long behind it, wouldn’t this piece of real estate sell for a good amount? Homes always needed to be built. It seemed foolish to just let it continue to rot here.

The hours drag and your mind wanders. You’d left the game token at home, remembering its presence after you’d gotten undressed. Such nimble fingers, performing that little trick he had. What others did Steve know? Oh, this is going to keep you occupied for awhile. Thinking about him leaning towards you. His mouth so close. You want to know what it feels like to have that facial hair brush your skin. Tickle between your thighs. Scraping and chafing and…

Something moved. That screen there, the camera focused near the stage. You swear you’d seen…yes. Right there. A shape moving in the shadows, hovering just beyond where the minimal lighting can reach.

Your heart pounds. What should you do? How had someone gotten in? You reach for the flashlight, considering the phone and the man you’d just been fantasizing about. You should call. You should tell him…what, exactly? That you think you see something moving? You can practically hear his ire now. Waking him up for that. You should at least check the situation out first.

You grab the flashlight and step into the hall. You feel like you’re making too much noise. You try to tred more gently. Maybe sneakers aren’t the best choice of footwear. Steve hadn’t specified what you should wear. You don’t have a large selection and you’d thought maybe something athletic would be…well. It sounded foolish now. Better to run in? Is that what you’re going to do?

What are you going to do if there actually is an intruder? Would you make it back to the phone in time? Should you even use the flashlight, make your presence known? Maybe you should use the shadows to your advantage, too.

You’re still agonizing over the decisions as you reach the dining room. Your steps slow to a crawl that you hope is somewhat stealthy. You squint. Maybe you’d been mistaken. Sleep deprived and distracted and…

A rabbit moves forward, the barest shift, still swathed in the darker recesses of the room. You can make out the outline of the giant mascot, this one missing half of an ear. The eyes glow with a dull silver light. You swear you can hear it breathing. Feel it watching you. Waiting for you to approach. Your blood runs cold. You’re frozen, immobile. Your palms grow sweaty and you nearly drop the flashlight. The tall animatronic has made no further movement. A standoff, just like in those old spaghetti westerns. Each person waiting for the other to draw first, hand to hip, gun in hand, bullet lodging in chest. It doesn’t seem likely that the robot could move faster than you, but then again, it doesn’t seem likely that a robot could have moved off the stage of its own free will.

The rabbit steps towards you, the foot meeting the carpet with a loud thud, the sounds of the internal servos whining a terrifying screech. You can barely discern the color of its fur, a sickly sort of putrid yellow-green. There are dark spots, holes that make you think more than just the ear is damaged. You swallow and your throat aches. You know you’re panting, not from exertion but from fear. You have to call Raglan. Right now.

You turn and rush towards the doors that lead to the employee restricted area. There is no sound of pursuit, but you’re not taking any chances. You don’t pause to look back over your shoulder, don’t stop until you reach the office, slamming the door shut and locking it. Wondering if you could move the locker, tip it to block the entrance and create a more secure barricade. You try to move it but have no luck. Too heavy. The chair would be useless. You can’t move the desk because of all the monitors. There’s nothing. You’re out of options.

You glance at the camera footage, paying particular attention to the one focused on the stage, where you’d seen the rabbit. Nothing there now. Was it in pursuit? You clamp a hand over your mouth, trying to stifle the strained drags for air, letting your flared nostrils do all the work. Still too loud. You hold you breath, pressing your ear to the door. Nothing. Not a sound. Surely you would hear those heavy footsteps if the animatronic was approaching.

You lift up the receiver, the business card in your shaking free hand. Still wavering with indecision. Do you call? Is the job really worth risking your life over? In the end, you dial the number. It takes you several tries. You keep hitting the wrong sequence, your nervous fingers stumbling over the buttons. It rings. And rings. And rings. Was he deeply asleep? Did he have the ringer off?

“Hello?” The voice of the career counselor sounds a bit breathless, as if he’d rushed to answer. You’d been expecting him to sound irritated, drowsy.

“Mr. Raglan.” You’ve never actually addressed him before, but the formal approach seems best. You’re staring at the monitors as you speak, all of them now, in case the rabbit has moved to another area, but you don’t see anything suspicious. “There’s someone here. At least, I think they’re still here. I saw them on the monitors, then I went to go check and—”

“—Slow down. You saw who, exactly?”

“Um.” You bite your bottom lip, knowing how absurd this next bit is going to sound. “I saw one of the animatronics walking around. The rabbit.”

“You’re imagining things,” he says dismissively. “None of the robots can leave the stage. Bonnie is permanently stationed there, just like Chica and Freddy. You can’t have seen—”

“—It wasn’t Bonnie. He’s blue, right?” You’re staring at the poster of the trio on the wall. The shape was the same, but the color…

“Yes,” Steve replies, sounding hesitant.

“This one wasn’t blue. It was like yellow or green. And all messed up. One ear torn off. Holes everywhere, like the thing was trashed.”

“The animatronics can’t leave the stage,” he repeats firmly.

“Well this one did. Wherever he came from. Its eyes…they were silver. Weird looking, not like the others’.”

“None of the mascots have silver eyes. You’ve imagined this entire incident. You’re probably not getting enough sleep, I told you—”

“—I didn’t imagine it,” you interrupt. “I know I didn’t. I’m not crazy.”

“You expect me to believe what, one of the animatronics just came to life and decided to go for a stroll? No. You didn’t see anything. You’re confused.”

“I’m not.” You feel tears of frustration building in your eyes. He doesn’t believe you.

“You do realize the time, don’t you? It’s three ’o clock in the morning. I have to be up for work in two hours. So I can help people like you get a job.”

The man despises you. It’s obvious. “You said to call any time. You said you were a light sleeper.” Your voice sounds small, pitiful. Weak.

“Yes, I did state those facts. I did not say to call because your sleep addled mind decided to conjure up some mysterious decaying monster stalking the pizzeria.”

“You said to call…” Your voice trails off. You know how it sounds. You do sound hysterical. Had you really just imagined the entire encounter? Could you really create such a convincing, vivid scenario?

A heavy sigh on the other end of the line. “You want me to come down there?”

Oh? Maybe he didn’t despise you, then, if he was making this offer. Disappointed in, maybe. Exasperated by. But no outright hatred. “Could you? I’d feel better…”

“Fine. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Thank you, I really appreciate—”

The dial tone cuts you off. He’s hung up. You set the receiver down, glancing at the monitors. Nothing. Had you really made the whole thing up? You know you have some issues, but this? Really?

You’re torn between wanting to wait by the front door and hiding in the office. What if you were right, and something was still in the dining room, hiding, waiting for the right opportunity to present itself. What if it attacked Steve?

What do you think you could do if it did?

Maybe it’s somewhere else. Somewhere closer. Stealthier than you’d thought. Ready to strike the moment you emerge from the office.

You heave a sigh of relief when you see the career counselor on the cameras. He’d taken a little longer than his claimed ten minutes. He’s carrying something. Cups? Something white clutched in each hand. You follow his path through the building with your eyes, anxious when there are no cameras to capture all of his movements. There is no view of the back corridor.

Something taps on the door. Not a human hand. A foot, kicking lightly. “It’s me. Unlock the door.”

You scramble to open it, another wave of relief flooding through you as you watch the career counselor enter, setting a pair of styrofoam cups on the desk. His eyes flick to you, first lingering on your face before tracking downward. You’re suddenly reminded of your snug work shirt and you flush.

“Let’s go look for your rabbit. Or did you want to stay here?”

“No. I’ll come with you.”

You bring the flashlight, this time determined to illuminate everything you can. Not sure if you’re more dissappointed that you don’t find anything than if you had proven yourself right. There were no signs of trespassing, nothing disturbed. You jump a little as Steve draws back the stage curtain, granting you your first up close and personal view of the trio of animatronics, but they remain motionless and look as dusty as the rest of the place. There are no footprints on the floor other than the ones you’re making now.

“Satisfied?” You nod reluctantly, snapping the handheld light back off. You walk back to the security office slowly, like a reluctant dog knowing it’s about to be scolded, tail tucked between legs. The older man perches on the corner of the desk, one hip cocked over the edge while you drop back into the chair. He lifts one of the cups and folds back the plastic lid shielding the opening, taking a sip. He gestures to the other one and you automatically lift it but make no move to drink. You think you’re going to struggle with sleep as it is; you don’t need an extra jolt of caffeine this late in your shift.

“Why aren’t you drinking your coffee?”

You look at the bearded man. He still looks remarkably well groomed, considering the late hour. Or early, depending on how you looked at it. He doesn’t look like a man who’s just been woken up, rolling out of bed, hastily preparing to leave the house. He’s already dressed in his office attire. It doesn’t really make sense. Nothing about tonight does.

“I don’t know if I should have caffeine at this hour.”

“Nonsense. It will do you good.”

You doubt that, but you find yourself unsealing the lid and taking a cautious sip. Too hot and extremely bitter. You wince.

“Prefer it sweeter, do you?”

“I probably would.”

Steve reaches into his pants pocket, digging out some packets of sugar.

“Thank you.” You reach for them but he yanks his hand back, much as he had done with the keys the previous evening, shoving them back into the depths they’d been stored in.

“Do you think you’ve earned a reward, after your behavior this evening?”

His voice is calm but you know better. You already know, in that short amount of time you’ve been acquainted, that this reserved, casual tone is far more dangerous than anything else he might exhibit.

You swallow thickly, setting the cup back on the desk. “Steve, I’m sorry, I honestly thought…”

“It’s Steve now, is it? Are we on such friendly terms?” He places his cup near yours, his lifted leg sliding off the desk. The older man stands beside your seated form, looming. “Are we that intimately acquainted, do you think?”

“I was just doing my job. Trying to keep the place safe. I’m really trying hard, I want to make this work. I’m tired of moving around and changing jobs.” It’s more of a confession than you’d intended on offering up.

If he’s moved by this insight, he certainly doesn't reveal it. “Are you that starved for attention, that you felt the need to make up such a wild story?” He’s gripping the back of your chair again, leaning close like he had yesterday.

“No, I didn’t…”

“Or did you just make up the excuse so I would come down here?”

“I…what? No, I…”

“You didn’t want to see me, then?”

You can hardly keep up with his accusations. How are you meant to answer? What is it he wants to hear?

“Be careful how you answer. Be very, very careful.” His face moves forward and for one heart pounding moment you think he’s going to kiss you, or bite you, or God knows what—he’s transformed, these last few moments, his eyes shining wildly, his mouth panting, glistening with spit, his demeanor no longer calm. He doesn’t look angry so much as hungry, ravenous, and the worst part is you don’t even care if he decides to rip your throat out right then. You feel his furnace-like heat, smell coffee and mint from toothpaste mingling on his breath, and you want to taste it, drink it in, let it wash over you, let him put his cruel mouth and his large hands all over you. You’d let him ruin you and thank him for it afterwards, if there was anything left of you to express gratitude.

Instead his mouth veers, avoiding yours and hovering near your ear instead, the sensation still pleasant when his breath tickles you there. “Don’t lie to me. I’ll know if you do.”

“I wanted to see you,” you whisper near his cheek, your lips brushing facial hair. Nearly a kiss. So nearly.

“How badly do you want me to sweeten that coffee for you? Would you beg me for it?” He draws back to see your features, savoring the need and want that must be so raw there.

“Please. Please give it to me.”

He smirks, his fingers sliding through your hair just above the nape of your neck in a gentle caress, then abruptly jerking your head back, your slack, startled mouth positioned just below his.

“You think you deserve it?”

You surprise both of you when your tongue bravely darts out, stroking across his bottom lip, painting a little wet stripe there. He growls, tugging until your scalp burns as the roots are strained, his mouth crushing yours.

You can’t stifle the moan that escapes you. His tongue moves everywhere, tangling and swirling, tight and loose, over and under, poking and prodding, stroking and exploring. You suck on his bottom lip and he nips at yours and then all too soon he breaks away, relaxing his grip, his breathing more ragged than ever, the blue eyes now black with desire.

He straightens, chest still heaving, and you want to pull him back down, guide him to all the places you need him most. You watch him drop a couple of sugar packets on the desk, the amount clearly smaller than all that he’s in possession of, and you suddenly understand the rules. You only get a small sample. A teasing taste, like the kiss he’d just granted you.

You’d have to work hard to earn more.

#william afton x reader #william afton x you #steve raglan x reader #steve raglan x you #fnaf movie #divider @cafekitsune

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winterisawriter · 9 months

Text

⋅•⋅⋅•first love,

late spring⋅•⋅⋅•

Geto Suguru x fem!reader.

Suguru loves Y/n.

Y/n loves Suguru.

But sometimes even love can’t be enough.

•

|this is my first time writing so sorry if it’s suck or for the grammar errors|

•

♡ — ♡ — ♡ — ♡ — ♡ — ♡ — ♡ — ♡ — ♡

“Sometimes i wish i have never met you.So that i wouldn’t have become who I’m about to be.”

Suguru often thought about the first time he had met Y/n.He did a lot recently,just to compare it to where they were now.And the more he thought about it,the more he asked himself: “How did we end up like this?”

For Suguru there was always been – and I repeat always been something about Y/n that attracted the attention of everyone who wandered around her.Maybe it was the delicate color of her pure skin,her big,Witchery beautiful eyes that shimmered with naivety in the sunlight.Or maybe even for her soft lips,god,Y/n peach-colored lips:the cracked lower lip from the cold and all the kisses she hadn't given yet, scented with butter-cocoa and vanilla ice cream.He always wanted to kiss her lips,it was even impossible not to stop and look at them for a while.

Y/n was a flower,a freshly brushed daisy with a simple form but with an almost hypnotic power, everyone wanted to play “she loves me,she loves me not”at least once with her and with her constantly changing little body.Y/n was a daisy that overflowed with pollen,pollen that Suguru,just like a bee,wanted to collect and carry straight into his heart full of love.

But he wasn’t a bee.

She was a flower and like every beautiful flower,to grown and be loved,she needed the warm rays of the sun.

Suguru wasn’t the sun,he wasn’t even the moon.He was just a little,nameless start among other billions.Something much smaller,nothing special,nothing much.Just a little star that was watching her from afar.

The first time that he saw her he was only ten years old and it was a Tuesday,it late in the afternoon and the spring had just started.The warmth of the rays of the sun,the delicate smell of the blooming flowers and the colors of its petals,framed that moment perfectly like it was a portrait.

At the time he didn’t knew her name yet,so in his mind he just called her the “stranger with a sweet smile”because her smile was the first thing that he had noticed in her.

She seemed to be around his age,maybe a year younger.Suguru saw her stop in the busy streets of Tokyo just to be able to admire the first cherry blossoms of the year.

Her hair was moving to the rhythm of the spring breeze,her fingers ran between them in an attempt to tame them,as a sweet smile creeped into her chapped lips.He saw her reach with her hands to the old purple camera dangling from her neck,retracting them almost instantly to enjoy the blossoming of the shoots with just the help of your gentle eyes.

She was out of place in the frenzy of a city always on the move.

A pink salopette with cherries on it,a white t-shirt with the print of a cartoon character,butterflies clips in her hair,pink striped socks and red sandals with little backpack shaped as a heart.

Rosy cheeks,big round eyes,the bare skin of her arms covered in drawing of flowers and animals with different colors,bitten nails painted in yellow.

For Suguru she seemed like a breath of fresh air in a world of skyscrapers,people running everywhere and smog.He could tell she had never seen the city,but grew up on the country side,as her head was spinning to take a look around.

As he was holding his mother hand,Suguru begged the red of the traffic light to last longer, just to be able to admire her from afar for a few more moments.

But she didn't wait to be looked at further. The little girl moved her gaze to the ground,as her mother placed a gentle hand on her shoulder,jumping over a crack in the concrete, and she walked in the opposite direction to his.

Will she ever come back?Will she go back down that road again,sooner or later?

He need to know.

He would like to enjoy her smile once again.

Suguru had thought about her that night,from the little house of his family in the hills he could see the whole city. Although reduced to a confused cluster of purple lights and full of its skyscrapers blurred by the rain breaking on the glass of an empty room,he could do nothing but think of her,where she was,what she was doing.

Was she listening,like him,to the pleasant sound of rain in a desperate attempt to fall asleep?

Ah,what a pathetic cheesy boy he became.

She would say that if only she could read his thoughts,wouldn't she?No she wouldn’t,he didn’t even knew her but she seemed to gentle,to kind.From the way he saw her smile,the way the her eyes shined she wouldn’t say something like that even though she would’ve thought that.

But he didn’t care,at half past ten,after his mother had tucked him in bed,he had found himself alone,in his room,wondering what she did to his head.How did she managed to get into him so deep with a smile that wasn't even aimed at him?Why does he still hope to have a chance to see her again?

His family had always been religious,he was used to go and visit the temple out of the city and to be grateful before every meal.His parents had educated him in that way,but now he really thought that there was a god somewhere that really listened to his prayers.

Suguru saw her again the next day,he had just came out of school and was helping his mother with the groceries.He saw her,the “stranger with the sweet smile” coming out of the convenience store on the other side of the sidewalk that he was using to go home,in the company of a plastic bag in her hands maybe too heavy for her.She was wearing an adorable long floral dress down to her knees,her unmissable smile and the same backpack.

She made him think that she was heading towards the park for a picnic by the river:the four-thirty Sun that timidly caresses her skin among the fronds the centuries-old trees,her eyes that close to better listen to the chirping of the birds returned to nest,her mother playing with her hair while she admired the flowers.

He didn't even have time to take courage,join her and offer to help her carry the shopping bag that her mother greeted someone inside the store with the hand and started to walk away with her.Just as she appeared,she disappeared along one of the many streets that intersect the main one,leaving him only between faces that have nothing to tell.

Suguru had finally and officially met her a week later.It was Monday,lunchtime and he was sitting peacefully by himself in the elementary school yard.

He had thought about her that morning,as he walked down the streets along side his mother to go to school.He had looked for her at every bus stop,behind the windows of every bar,hoping to see her have breakfast with a croissant in one hand and orange juice in the other,among the dull eyes of those who walked on the sidewalks,under the cherry tree to which he had not paid enough attention before the week before.

She wasn’t there,but her presence was still vivid in the air.

He never realized how beautiful it could be to watch the flowers bloom until she showed him how to do it through her eyes full of curiosity.

He would like to learn from her.

Observing something seemingly obvious comes back to arousing a happiness.Being able to smile just by watching something grow.Without even knowing him,she taught him that beauty really seems to reside in the little things,that no matter how imposing everything around them was and under everyone's gaze, nothing will be a better spectacle than life that blooms next to us in silence,hidden from the eyes of the most distracted.

Then he saw her again,in her pale blue school uniform,her hair tied in a pony tail with a green scrunchie and the same butterfly clips.She was on her knees by the flowerbeds,her hands were moving fast on a white paper that she had ripped out from her notebook.She was drawing he could tell,seeing all the scattered crayons.

The sun was up in the sky and the chilly wind was swooshing between the trees,as Suguru was reading his book about the starts and the planets,a paper flew directly in his face.

Confused he was looking at the drawings on it,different types of flowers in every color.For being made by the hand of a little girl,they indeed were beautiful.

"I-I’m sorry!”her voice was gentle,almost as she was afraid to let it out.

Now that she was close to him he could feel it,the strange sensation that was making his stomach churn,his palm sweaty and his inside mushy.She had like a sort of aura,something mystical,an enchantress and temptress that was drawing him to her every second of the day.

As he got up he watched her run towards him,her little Barbie shoes light up with every step she took towards him.

"Did you made these?”he asked,handing her the paper.

She smelled like roses and vanilla,now that she was closer he could see her scraped knees and the sponge-bob patches on them,the lip gloss ring that she had probably found in a bag of cheeps but especially her gentle smile.She was a year younger than him,as he suspected,as he read her class on her uniform.

“Yes.”she murmured softly,her cheeks were red and her eyes shied away from his dark ones.

“They are very beautiful.”he complimented her“I liked the daisy.”he said again with a sincere tone.

The little girl was holding the paper to her chest like she was embarrassed that someone had seen her drawings “That’s not a daisy,it’s a marigold”she had told him.

Suguru scratched the back of his head,he liked to hear the sound of her voice,he didn’t care what she was talking about as long as she kept talking to him “There’s a difference?”he asked confused.

Before she could tell him the bell rang and everyone,including her,were running back inside the school.

Suguru hadn’t seen her till Thursday,till it had stopped raining and the teachers had let the kids out to play again.He have wondered several times what her name might be.The real one,the one that her parents call her to wake her in the morning,the one that her friends use to get her attention,the one with that she used to introduce herself to someone new while making a short bow of respect.

During these two days of rain,he had tried to look for her in the school halls,in the empty classrooms and even in the parking lot.But she seemed to have disappeared,just like she was a vivid dream of a creation of his imagination.

Maybe it's because he associate her with the same tree where he saw her for the first time,maybe it's because I can't get her rosy cheeks out of his head,or maybe because he was nothing but a poor deluded:it's been two days since he saw her and,although he knew well that the chances of seeing her again were high he couldn’t help but feel sad.

The next day everything changed,the sun was up in the sky,the birds were chirping loudly.He came to a conclusion sooner that he expected.That day Suguru walked towards her,she was still sitting under the cherry tree,two braids hanging on her shoulders with the watermelon hair ties shining under the light,but this time instead of crayons and papers she had a book in her lap.

“Astronomy for beginners.”the title said.

Suguru couldn’t help but smile as a strange tingling feeling was growing inside his stomach,a foreign warmth crawling from his neck to his ear where he could hear his heart beating fast.

“Hi”he said gently to not startle her.

“Hi.”she parroted with a shy wave of the hand.

“Would you like some of my lunch?My mom gave me too much rice.”he asked politely as he gestured to his bento,it was an excuse to talk to her again.

“Oh”she looked around,lifting her teddy bear backpack before looking at him again “But i don’t have anything to give you back.”she sounded apologetic,as she held the empty paper of her onigiri.

“It’s alright,i wouldn’t be able to eat much anyway.”he reassured her,sitting next to her on the grass.

They stayed quiet for a few minutes,enjoying the cooked rice,shoulder to shoulder under the branches of the cherry tree.

“What are you reading?”Suguru then asked,peaking over small figure.

“I’m reading about the constellation of Andromoida,but I can’t understand much.”she murmured,she felt awkward to tell him that since she saw him with a book about the stars she wanted to learn more about them.

“You mean Andromeda?”he corrected her gently with a giggle.

“Y-Yes that!”she exclaimed blushing.

He nodded “I can teach you if you want,I know a lot about the stars.”he stated proud of himself.

She looked at him with vide,bright eyes “Really?”she asked happily.

He nodded “Only if you teach me the difference between a daisy and a marigold.”

She smiled,warmer that any sun “Deal.”

“My name is Suguru.”he then said,holding out his hand for her to shake “What’s yours?”

And with that answer nothing had sounded more beautiful that the name coming from her lips “I’m Y/n.”

“Y/n”he repeated immediately,tasting every letter on his tongue.Has any name ever been so beautiful?Has his name ever been more beautiful than when he heard her saying it for the first time?

From that day on,Suguru and Y/n had spent every minute together. Counting the days would be useless.They lived within four walls,under a cypress and on the chairs of a café.They held tight in each other's arms, deeply,like two best friends,like two lovers.

They grew up together,they shared memories and secrets,pet animals,gifts and holidays.Suguru had dried the tears on Y/n face when her cat died,holding her into his arms.She had took him with her at the greenhouse and he took her with him at observatory.They were together during school and in the evenings after that.

Everything was going on perfectly,he was happy for the very first time.They shared their first kiss when she was thirteen and he was fourteen,it was awkward as they bumped into each other noses two times,but it was special.Under the pillow fort in her living room,with only the pale light of the flashlight and the storm outside the window.

“Did you know that human emit a certain amount of light?”he asked with a soft voice.

Y/n had been sad that day,crying in his arms as he tried to calm her down.That was the anniversary of her father death,she didn’t remembered much about him since she was just a small child when it happened,but still,inside her heart,she was hurting.

“What?”she mumbled,her eyes were a little red,her cheeks wet as she was holding her teddy bear to her chest.

Suguru nodded,holding the flashing “In a thousand years you could look back through a telescope and see us still moving.”he told her,shifting closer to her.

Y/n brows furrowed “You really suck at comforting people.”she laughed a bit.

“Maybe,but now you are smiling and you know something new.”he giggled with her.

“People don’t emit light,you are just messing with me.”Y/n shook her head,the smile still on her face.

“Yes,they do.”Suguru insisted “We see starts that died thousands of years ago.The starts,in turn,see us.The past and the present that it’s already past,will always be happening.We can die but somewhere,in some place,we are light still living and we always will be.”he explained,his voice was soft and beautiful just like every time that he spoke about something that he loved.

They were closer than before,their knees touching,their breath fanning on each other cheeks “I like this story.”Y/n murmured,her eyes lost in his.

“Yeah?”he said and he saw her nod “You can take it,it’s yours.”he murmured too.

“I’m going to write a book about it and you know how I’m going to call it?.”she said jokingly.

“How?”the storm outside was increasing,but he didn’t care because he could only focus on her lips and hear her heartbeat.

“The boy who sucked at comforting people”she said in a make-up voice and moving her hands theatrically.

Then he hit her with a pillow and they played and laughed like this for at least five minutes.The pillow fort crumbled above their heads,blankets everywhere as she was on her back while he was standing in front of her holding himself up with his elbows.

“You are glowing.”Y/n whispered.

The flashlight scattered on the pavement was pointing directly at them with it yellow light and she could outline every little and magnificent detail of his beautiful face.Oh,how much he had grown from the little kid she had met.He was becoming a man and he was so handsome with his dark eyes and long hair.

“So are you.”he responded,one of his hands were caressing her hair lovingly.

Suguru never felt like this before for no one,she had bewitched him,body and soul.Everything in him belonged to her in the exact moment he had first seen her on that spring day.He loved her so purely,he grew another heart to try to fit all the love but it still overflow from his eyes whenever he looked at her.

She smiled again,her face was red but she felt calm,at peace.Suguru always had this kind of magic on her,to make her feel safe and protected “So the starts already saw me kissing you?”she even felt bold as she lowered her gaze on his rosy lips.

His heart was beating fast in his ears “Yes and they will see it forever.”he whispered before closing his eyes and the distance between them.

Everything was perfect,Y/n was his girlfriend,he had a best friend that loved him dearly and he was one of the strongest around.So when it all started to go wrong?When did it end all the enjoyment?When did he started to feel sick?

His mind didn’t have pity for him,it kept remembering and remembering.What had happened with Riko,the aching sound of the clapping in his head,the way his best friend looked at him,his girlfriend crying in his arms.The grief,the things that he lost,the people he knew got his surrounded and he felt like he was drowning.

There comes a time when in order to bloom you have to imperceptibly approach the act of dying.So,at the age of seventeen,for Suguru there had been the indissoluble impulse to end it.He would have allowed himself one last attempt.Reduce physical pain with a hint of honey on the nose.

His honey was his Y/n that always liked to kiss him on the nose for good morning,he never care about how bad the things could’ve been because he knew he had her on his side.To have her kissing him and said that it was incredible to have met someone special as much as him.

Till he had almost lost her.Another mission went wrong,her beautiful face was scarred and he understood that there was nothing special in him,not if he couldn’t protect her.He was just like everyone else,just a little star that you can’t notice.

The sense of vomiting started to come after he had eaten,when he thought too much.He didn’t feel like looking at her lively eyes that supported and he didn’t wanted to feel her warm hands caressing his skin.

It didn’t felt the same anymore.What was he doing?Who was he doing all of this for?

He’s met with the same answer: “For Y/n”

Suguru and Y/n love each other,and that could even be said by those who have never really known love.

They love each other on common days, when the biggest commitment they have to complete by the end of the day is to clean the dirty cups of the breakfast,and in the special ones,when Suguru is willing to take his girlfriend to the end of the world in order to remind her that if he was crazy in love it was her fault.

There was nothing more that Suguru loved than having her hold on to him even on the hottest evenings in August and in the empty afternoons spent watching the and sunset,while her skin reflects the sun's rays.Be close to her on the sad Sundays of September and December, while they listen to one of the songs that she likes so much lying on the couch and while his hands wander under her purple sweater.

Feeding each other McDonalds fries and drinking from the same straw,while on television they send a replica of a Spielberg movie that neither of them likes but that"It's a cult Suguru,you can't despise it.It’s the law".

Taking a hundred polaroids in every place they decide to go even by chance,just because they were bored and she couldn’t stay at home for too long.Listening to the same song for whole days without getting tired,then abandoning it later because they wanted to discover something new to fall in love with.Claim that dramas are things from fifteen-year-olds or thirty-year-olds sad and lonely women,but ending up not missing even an episode because to see her curl her nose annoyed by his:

“Look Y/n,that’s you.”while he compare her to those half ineet of the protagonists he like so much.

Waiting for her for more than an hour on the stairs of the school while she finish her class and he got out from his early,just to wait for her.Then going in his dorm room and kiss her everywhere,her neck and feet,her hands, land whisper to her ear that she is beautiful, beautiful,even in the darkness of the night and in the early hours of the day.Getting up at four in the morning and leaving the school in secret because she had one of her strange cravings like wanting to drink a hot cappuccino with cream,and he can't resist satisfying her every whim.Start a TV series and never finish it,start another one and finish it on the same day.

Reading one of the books Suguru had bought in her mother library and being interrupted because Y/n was a little slut and no one has aver striped down herself naked in front of his eyes like she did.Skipping classes at school because he didn’t know how to be with her in that place but only out of this world,and then he wakes her up,buy the first train tickets to her hometown and he takes her away with him.

Going to art exhibitions,to the aquarium or to the observatory and having her stomach burning because he keep whispering dirty things in her ear,not being at the center of her attention,and end up in a bathroom the size of a box touching each other breathlessly.

Going out with Satoru,Shoko,Nanami and Haibara and competing for who can drink and kiss more people in the club and never be jealous because Suguru had only ever kissed her.But then hearing Y/n screams and yells because one girl wrote her number on his arm with a black marker,putting next to it a little heart.

Even now,when everything inside him was burning him alive,Y/n managed to be the water to calm him down.Taking him to the bathroom under the jet of water when his panic attacks start,and whisper to his ear that everything is fine,that nothing will never happen as long as he was with her.

“I wish i could go back to the time you first told me your name.Others time i wish i had never met you.”he didn’t even realized that he let that thought slip out his mouth.

When everything was easier,when none of them were in that fucked up sorcerer system but just kids in love.Where he could keep her safe from thunderstorms and spiders,giving her kisses that tasted like strawberries as they laid under the sun.

Other times he wished he had never met her,that he didn’t saw her that day in spring.Loving her wasn’t worth the idea of losing her,how terrible it was to love something that death could touch so easily.If he didn’t had her maybe he would’ve stayed the same,it’s was crazy the power that she had on him.He felt guilty,like an asshole to care about the rest of the world only because she was walking on it.

Instead he was there,stuck.How many more people had to die before his eyes,how many before it will be Y/n turn?

Y/n was on the verge of falling asleep,her ears perked up slightly at his mumble“It’s late Suguru,you should try to sleep.”hearing her voice whispering in his ear during the night made his stomach churn.

It was late,almost three in the morning as he could read on the clock on his night table,and even though his body was aching his mind didn’t let him sleep.He worried a lot,he always did as a child and kept doing it even as a teenager.

“Will the flowers in the garden grow?”

“Will the river flow in the right direction?”

“Was i right?Was i wrong?Will i be forgiven?Will i do the right thing?”

All the questions that clouded his thoughts started to strangle him.

“You didn’t eat much tonight.”Y/n kept talking softly in his ear,caressing his long dark hair,holding thigh on him “Do you want to go and grab you something?”she asked,trying to not sound to worried.

Suguru opened his eyes,only the little blue light of his clock illuminated the room,but he could make out the girl that was laying next to him.He had memorized him in the years that they had spent together,her beautiful eyes,her cute nose,her rosy lips.Her hair were messy on his pillow and smelled like his shampoo,she was wearing one of his shirt,a pair of panties and fuzzy pink socks.

She was worried,he could feel it and see it whenever he turned around to look at her and it was killing him.

He looked at the scar on her face,her slightly wrinkled and slightly pinker skin stood out like a blue gecko on a white wall.It started on the bridge of her nose,crawling down her left cheek in a perfect diagonal till under her jaw.Suguru shifted his gaze a little further to the left and lingered on the little mole on her nose,the one the he liked to kiss was now erased by the monstrosity that happened because of him.

He wasn’t the only one looking,even when his eyes were closed and he pretended to be asleep he could feel her intese gaze on him.Y/n would’ve stay awake just to observe him,the boy that once she knew better than anyone was disappearing under her eyes and she couldn’t do anything to stop him to drift away.

She observed how the bones of his pelvis were so protruding that they could also be seen from his jeans and every time she accidentally touched him in bed she was afraid he would break,he was so thin!His warm breath always tasted like cigarettes and mint tea in the morning,of cigarettes and coffe in the evenings and of cigarettes in the nights.When did he started smoking?When did che stopped eating?Did he slept enough?No.

He didn't sleep at all and when he turned on his side and saw her,as she gave up and dreamed who knows what,her hair disheveled and her lips slightly detached he felt that nauseous sensation again.

What a cliché.What a stupid routine.

Every night they slept together and every night he was forced to look at the skin of her face and the skin of her side that came out of the of his shirts that she was wearing,every night he was forced to have to feel her breathe,to feel her on him.His hands,God his hands trembled like leaves on a winter day to stop himself to reach over a touch her face,her hair,her lips.

He couldn’t bring himself to be around her just as much as before,to touch her,let alone to make love to her like he did almost every night.So he had let her take the lead.He had watched her adjust her hair and fix her makeup to look pretty for him,cooking him his favorite dishes and buying him flowers.

Red peonies.It was red peonies that she had left next to his bed that morning.Love,passion,honor and respect all the things that felt foreign to him.Y/n had chosen the bright red because every time she came to visit him it was too white.White were the walls,white was his skin,thin as hosts,and white was the ghost he was becoming.White were his pale and worn-out lips,waterless water lilies that can only dry out. White were the edges of the bed,rough sheets that she held crying and crumpled like fragile paper under the grip of her fingers.

She went to many flower shops,before she had found them of this color.The soles of her converse are worn on the sides.She have shunched her feet so much these days.Maybe she’ll have to throw them,maybe she’ll wait for holes to form where they press their heels.But she didn’t care,not if she could do something to make him happy again.

“I’m alright.”he lied with a faint smile,he closed his eyes again not baring the sight of the scar on her face.

He felt her shift closer to him,like she wanted to become one with him and for a moment he wished that she could do it.He wished that she could crawl inside his body,find where he is most ruined and love him there.

“I saw you talking with Yuki today,”she started slowly “you seemed a little shaken up.Are you sure that you are alright?”she asked again.

Suguru felt his heart clench,the emptiness that took his breath away was becoming bigger and after that afternoon there was no coming back for him.It’s wasn’t Yuki fault,he would never blame her for what she was talking to him about,unaware of the monster she was creating.

But everything that had happened to him and to the people around had contributed to bring him where he was now.Small variations in the initial condition produce large variations in the long-term behavior of a system.

On balance,then,a single action can inevitably determine the future.It is the very principle of the universe:every action,every single movement,corresponds to a reaction;every failure corresponds to another.

Every interaction he had with a human being during his existence inevitably changes that life that,with a word or a gesture,he have touched. Sometimes following his heart,doing something that makes him or others happy,as on that occasion,creating a series of chain events that would follow one another until their own destruction.

But,as they had ignored,guided by the craving to complete their mission,you only know what happens in your life,not in that of others.And when you damage a part of someone's life,you don't only damage that part.Unfortunately you can't be precise and selective.When you damage a part of someone's life,you are damaging their whole life.

Everything influences everything.

“Yes,i’m fine.”he turned to his side,his eyes still closed.

Y/n was quick to follow him,wrapping her arm around his waist,her face in his hair “Alright i believe you.”she hummed “Do you want me to come with you tomorrow?”she asked again,tracing invisible shapes on the cold skin of his chest.

Tomorrow that would’ve been another mission for him,in a small village not far away from the school.

He fell still,swearing that if she made another sound he would’ve put his head through the wall “There is no need.”he said in a flat tone.

“But- ”she tried to protest.

“Now go to sleep,it’s late.”and with that she fell asleep,holding him close to her while he was slowly drifting away from her for the last time.

“Good night,i love you.”she kissed his back,snuggling close to him to try to keep him warm.

‘Please’ Suguru thought ‘hurry and leave me.Don’t say that you love me’

“Good night.”he replied with a sour taste on his tongue.

The next morning Suguru had woken up before her,he spent the first lights of the morning just looking at her,the nauseous feeling was suffocating him to the point where he had to get up and open a window.It was the end of spring again,just like the first time he had saw Y/n for the first time.He often find himself thinking about that day,in the busy streets of the city,just to compare it to where they were now.

When he had first introduced her to Satoru and Shoko he had told them that one day he was going to marry her.The light that she emitted,was everything he wasn’t and everything he needed,he knew it since the first time he had laid his eyes on her.

Y/n was a flower and she needed the sun.Suguru wasn’t the sun,he was just a star,too little and too far away.

He kissed her hair,then her forehead,her lips for the last time before disappearing.

“I’ll see in you in two days?”she mumbled still sleepy and with her eyes closed,enjoying the feeling of his lips on her skin.

Suguru swallowed “Yes.”

“I love you,be careful.”she said to him,kissing his cheek.

“I will.”

Two days after the world came crushing down on her,suddenly there was only pain everywhere in her heart and soul.Spring brings cherry blossoms but winter seemed to reign.

She couldn’t and did not wanted to believe the words that came out from Yaga sensei mouth.The filled report,the way Satoru was screaming beside her when she became as still as ice.It couldn’t be true,Suguru couldn’t be capable of what they were accusing him.He could never kill innocent people.But didn’t he came back like he promised her?Did something really happened?

“Come back here.”Y/n didn’t even have the courage to say these words out loud.And yet, they come out of her lips without realizing it.

“Suguru is not there”Satoru warns her. Suddenly her world goes back to being gray,devoid of color,devoid of shades.

He was supposed to be back by now,after two days that he went on a mission alone,he needed to be back.

Once Satoru left,murmuring something about Yaga sensei,Y/n crossed the threshold of Suguru room with the heart in her throat,the accelerated beat covering her thoughts,the wheezing... But it's empty.He is not there.The ground begins to sag under her feet as the world around her becomes silent.It doesn't make sense.

“It doesn't make any sense” she keep repeating to herself.

His room looks so perfect,so tidy,there's not a single thing out of place... except their two chairs.They are placed next to each other in a corner of the room,almost as if they felt the need to to be close.Y/n was confused.And Suguru never leaves anything to chance:every object in his room makes sense and she couldn’t ignore those two chairs.

She had spent every night in his room,she had spent years with him and in his last few months where he was acting strange she could feel that he was trying to tell her something but didn’t knew how.

Y/n found the courage to take a few steps towards his chair,bare,placed in an almost unusual position:it was always in front of the window,about the center of the room where they could watch the clouds or the rain together.Then she moved her gaze to her chair. Nothing different,nothing unusual.What the hell did he want to tell her?What does all this mean?

“What happened to you Suguru? What do you need me to understand?”she mumbled to herself,looking around for answers.

Her eyes lingered to his desk and then she saw it.The red peonis that she had bought him were not in the right place.Usually she would’ve place them next to the window so that they could feel the sun,but right now the vase was on his desk.In the last months Y/n was the one that took care of his room,cleaning it and keeping it in order,so it was definitely Suguru who moved the vase.

Y/n moved the vase,from behind it,a letter and a sheet of paper stuck between the wall and the porcelain slips to the floor... she doesn’t think twice before grabbing the paper to read what's written on it.Casually shuffled,she opened it.

There is no doubt that it is Suguru’s.Y/n let her gaze dwell on every letter,which composes the words,giving her time to get to the point and feel her body stiffen so much that the paper slips out of her hands.

“You have everything it takes to keep shining so don't shut yourself down.I want to keep looking at you from afar.”

“It's not possible...”her broken,silent voice rumbled in the empty room.

Her mind retraces the last days they spent together,his words,his looks,his impassive certainty.The way he was disappearing more deeply.Was he leaving her?Was he breaking up with her through a stupid letter?Did he really killed innocent people?

Y/n gathered the forces she had left and drag herself out of the school.She ignored anyone who tried to stop her or talk to her,this time she would do her own thing and follow her instincts, letting it take her to Suguru,as it has always been.

A busy city.Yellow shutters in the suburbs,the engine bursting and Shoko that was still calling her to the phone.On Tuesday the observatory of the city was free for the visitors,the sign of the building seems so new to her right now,yet she’s been there so many times that two hands wouldn't be enough to count them.

She took a deep breath in front of the billboard with the name of the protagonist of this month's exhibition:today,on one of the last days of spring,there would’ve be an exhibition about the constellation of Andromeda.

The building looks deserted... is it possible that there is someone inside?After that,Y/n moved the first steps towards what was their beginning,what brought them up to this moment.

She felt lost as she roamed in the big empty halls,the bright imagines of stars,planets and other constellations made her eyes burn or maybe it was just the urge to cry.

“Did you know that in Greek mythology,Athena had put Andromeda among the starts after her death to make her immortal?”his voice came in like a hurricane,as he spoke she shattered.

Y/n turned around and finally saw him after two long days.Suguru was there,a few centimeters from her but he was kilometers away.He was wearing a black hoodie that seemed to big for him,black pants and his dark hair were free on his shoulders,only some of them where tied back in a bun.

He was so beautiful that the stars could cry for him.

She remained silent,her mouth slightly open and the words stuck in her mouth,her eyes were lucid and her throat was burning.

“You didn’t know?”he was so calm and casual about the whole situation that made her want to scream.

“Tell me it’s not true.”her voice came out shaking “Tell me you didn’t do it,please.”

Suguru looked at her,her hair were messy,her lips quivering and the light that once belonged in her eyes had disappeared.It hurt him to seen her in that state,he was the cause of it,he knew it and he hated at the same time.

“Perseus had saved her from a sea monster and then he fell in love with her.After their death they became immortal in the stars.”he continued as if he didn’t heard her.

Y/n hands were hitching in her gloves,she wanted nothing more but to run to him and hold him,kiss him and telling him that everything was going to be fine.

“We hadn’t been talking for months and now you are telling me about some myths?”the urge to cry was becoming bigger with each word.

One morning,in the past year,they woke up next to each other and suddenly the didn’t spoke the same language anymore.They hadn’t been talking ever since,only short and empty conversations that lead nowhere,until now.

“Suguru,what’s wrong?Please,talk to me”she pleaded,still refusing to believe the truth.

His hands were in his pockets,his eyes empty and he didn’t moved an inch “If this was to be the last time you are going to see me,what would you say?”his own heart was breaking,she could hear it through his cold demeanor that this was hurting him as much as it was hurting her.

“I’ll wait for you.”Y/n immediately let out,her eyes widened.

Suguru shook his head “No,i can’t let you do that.”not after all that he have done.

“You don’t get to make that choice for me.”she stubbornly replied,raising her voice.

“I’d say that thank you and that i love you.”he breathed out,now she could see a small crack in the armor that he had been wearing in the last year.

“Please don’t do this.”she was crying now,her leges were trembling as she walked towards him.

His hands were stained in blood,but she didn’t care,she let him hold her anyway “I’ll always love you.”he murmured in her hair.

“Why are you doing this?”the reality of him leaving her came down crushing her body,knocking the breath out of her.

“Because i can’t save you!”in front of her now she could feel him,the boy that she feel in love with all those years ago finally came back to the light “I can’t make you immortal,not in a world like this!”all the suppressed emotions cracked his cold facade and she felt like something was dying inside of her.

“Suguru- ”she tried to calm him down,as he let go of her.

“I can’t lose you,Y/n.I won’t survive it.”he looked the most vulnerable and human she had ever seen him.

Wiping the tears away from her eyes,her vision still blurred,with heavy breath “So you decide to just walk away?Write me a letter and disappear?”she asked.

“I’m doing what’s the best for you.”he tried to make her understand,it wasn’t easy for him either to give up on the life that he had dreamed to have with her.

“By killing people?”she screamed in disbelief.

“By making the world a better place for you.”he said slightly irritated “Don’t you understand?I want you to live a full happy life,not having to recognize your body on the obituary table!”he continued.

“It’s you what’s best for me!”she sobbed out.

Suguru eyes became watery,he had to restrain himself to just pick her up and go hide somewhere with her where nobody could hurt them “I’m not anymore.”she needed a sun not just a star.

It was a direct stab to her heart,but what hurt her the most was knowing that she didn’t do enough to help the state he was in.“How long have you been feeling like this?”she asked.

He didn’t even needed to think about it “I couldn’t sleep at night because i knew it was over between us from quite some time.”he answered,swallowing each word.

Suguru had thought about how everything started now that he was ending it.He could still remember the sweetest of their first kiss,when time slowed down and he couldn’t hear a single sound.He had no idea of what was happening around him,he was just glad that finally a piece of happiness had found him.The first time that he made her smile felt like the warmest of the sun had made his way inside him for a while.

Then the light inside him slowly died.He went from starting his morning with the ache to see her,to wake up from nightmares,the memories of her skin still clinging to his like it’s was the last time that he got to feel her.He had to do something,to change something before she became another ghost that hunted him in his sleep.

After that decision everything felt so strange to him,so distant and she didn’t deserved it.

“Please”her whole body trembled as she tried to reach out to him “come back with me.We’ll explain everything that happened and leave everything else behind while we still can.”she pleaded him.

“And live there rest of our lives on the run?”he asked shaking his head “I don’t want that for you.I-"

“This is not about what you want!”she interrupted him “You said that you are doing this for me right?Than stay with me!That’s all i ever wanted!”she confessed,wiping the tears from her mouth.

“I don’t want to be with you!”with each syllable a layer of her heart was peeled off “Not if i know that someday,because of those people out there,you will die trying to protect them.”this was suppose to made her feel better but it just pained her more.

“That’s our duty,it’s what you believe in.”she tried to make him remember“We help people that can’t stand up by themselves!”she felt a sense of dizziness,like she was stuck in a nightmare and she couldn’t wake up.

He stayed quiet for a moment,his skin crawling down his face to reveal the new identity that had taken the place of the sweet boy she fell in love with “And who help us uh?”together with that question a hole took place inside her chest.

Y/n felt like the rope that tied them together was cut as she was slowly falling,this time without him to save her “What?”it came out from her mouth with a sour whisper.

Suguru clenched his fist “Who help us,Y/n?”he asked again.

“I-I…I don’t-”her tongue felt heavy and she felt so stupid for never thinking about it before.

“You don’t know right?”a dry chuckle rumbled in his chest “We are just kids,whose gonna help us while we are helping the others?No one”his jaw was tense and his eyes had a fire that she never saw before.

“And you know what the best part is?”he retorted,with a fake smile on his lips “That they don’t even know that we are here,dying to protect them.”

He scared her.But she was more afraid of herself,of what she could’ve done for him and to be with him as the words he said started to make sense in her head.After everything that happened,when will it all stop?How many needed to die?How many Riko and Haibara there needed to be before they realized what that system was doing to them?To save people that were creating the problem in the first place and didn’t even thanked them?It was time to break the wheel that was slowly moving towards them,before it was too late.

“What is your plan then?Killing everything that comes across you,till we are the only one left?”as she came back to her senses,holding herself up with a hand against the wall.

“Yes.”so simple,so plain “I want to build a society only for sorcerers”without a inch of emotions.

She should’ve been worried,start screaming,running away or maybe even trying to kill him.The love of her life just confessed that he was about to commit a genocide,all for her.Maybe she was the real problem,maybe she was the sick one as she begged him to stay once again instead of find a way to stop him.

“I-I can change if that’s what you need!I will become stronger so that you don’t need to do all that!”Y/n exclaimed immediately.

“Y/n..”even her name felt foreign on his tongue.

“Then make me come with you!”she tried again,anything to stay with him.

“And make you do things you don’t believe in?”he said arching a eyebrow “We aren’t like this”

“But we love each other!Isn’t this enough?”she place a hand on her own chest,trying to shield what remained of her heart from his next words.

“No,love is not going to keep you alive!”Suguru insisted.

“So you don’t love me?”Y/n voice echoed through the emptiness of her soul.

“I love you,Y/n,but i don’t like you anymore.”he simply stated,his voice cold and distant.

“What?”was this a sick joke?

First he tells her that he wanted to make the world a better place for her and then that he didn’t liked her?

“Don’t you understand?I can’t even look at you,i can’t bring myself to touch you or to breathe around you!I can’t be with you without reminding myself how miserable and powerless i’am.”Suguru felt his chest burning,his lungs were about to give up on him just like his legs.

Y/n stood there like a statue,afraid that if she made a single movement she would break into pieces.All this time she had ignored the way he would avoid her eyes,her soft caress,all the times he didn’t said “I love you” back or initiated a hug or a kiss.

“That’s not true.”she lied to herself,out loud for him to hear.

“Y/n,please don’t make this harder.”it was hurting him too,like it did in the past months.

“I’m not!We are great together,that’s what you told me and to everyone else.You told me i’m your greatest love.”she protested.

“I was wrong.You are my greatest failure and I’m sorry for let it happen.”his eyes darted to the scar on her face.

“Suguru you don’t mean that.”she shook her head forcefully “Something bad had happened to you and I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you.But I will now.”she continued,trying to convince both of them.

“You want to help me?”he asked,his dry lips and pale face shined under the neon lights.

“Yes!”Y/n said immediately.

He nodded,his dark eyes were glassy for a second “Then you have to let me go.You need to let me let you go.”

Even when they were little,a small part of him knew that he would had never be enough for someone as magnetic and beautiful as her.It was him that wasn’t worthy and he dragged her along with him,suddenly her loving arms,her sweet smile weren’t worthy anymore when he looked at the bigger picture.Why would he stop there?Why couldn’t he create the perfect world?It was really for her or for the guilt he felt anytime he looked at her face knowing that he wasn’t able to protect her?

“What?No!”Y/n yelled in disbelief “We love each other,we can go through this together!”it started to became harder and harder to breathe.

“Love didn’t do any good to us and it’s time that you realize it.”Suguru seemed made of ice as he spoke “You need to let this love go.”

“It’s that’s what you want?Get over me?Make me hate you so that you can move on with you plan?”Y/n wasn’t crying anymore,she had finished all her tears and a sensation of numbness took place in her bones.

It would’ve been easier,leaving without saying goodbye,having her hating him so much that she couldn’t breathe.The light inside Y/n was the most precious thing for him guard,he couldn’t let the world suffocate it.

“I just want you to see you shine.”Suguru slowly said,like he was reading to her one of his astronomy books.

“By leaving me and saying the we aren’t meant to be?”she scoffed“Is this worth it?Losing everything worth more than being alone and becoming a mass murderer?”she emit with such a discomfort,tired.

“It worth more than say that i want this life.To be with you and pretending that everything is perfect around us when it’s not.”he took a step back,placing his hands in his pocket.

Y/n felt like vomiting again,nodding her head,her heart reduces to ashes “You want to do this for me but my love for you is not worthy for you to stay?”

Suguru didn’t answered immediately.“For Y/n”his mind kept repeating inside his head, “Even if she will hate you,you are doing this for her.For Y/n.”

All for her.

“All I know is that love is supposed to make you feel stronger,but whenever i’m with you i feel like a week little boy again.Sometimes i wish i have never met you”he admitted for the first time,she had poisoned him with her love,making him believe that he was incredible,something special when in reality he wasn’t“.So that i wouldn’t have become who I’m about to be.”

If he took a step closer he could’ve seen the way his words were emptying her chest “So it is my fault?Is that what are trying to say?"she whispered with a choke.

He didn’t knew how to answer that.

“It is mine!I was trying to protect you,I was trying to keep you safe.It was like I had this one job.I had a job and I was doing it wrong.I ruined everything and that's why I'm sorry.But i guess that’s what I do:i disappointment the people that I love the most”

That was what he wish he had told her,but instead he stayed quiet.The anger,the guilt was burning him alive,not making him see the true reality of things.But how could he live with that?Knowing that she was out there in a fucked up world and he wasn’t doing nothing to change it?That he was too weak to keep her safe?

There was a moment of silence,they just stood there,in between and under the starts that he loved so much to tell her about.

An hour,a minute,a second.Every moment of their lives together seems to be punctuated by ticks slipping out of their hands in a few moments.The only thing she could do to hold them back and feel them for a few more moments on her skin was to try to cling to the present,living it.

“I’m sorry.”she admitted “I’m sorry if i had ruined you with my love.”a soft kiss on her forehead as she closed her eyes to savor that moment.

“I’m sorry that our love wasn’t enough.”he whispered,disappearing forever.

His goodbye felt like waking up from a dream,like knowing that from that day on nothing would’ve been the same.They would’ve been forever carved in the universe,the stars would be able to look back down on the earth and still see them,holding and loving each other even after their deaths.

Suguru loves Y/n.

Y/n loves Suguru.

But the story still ends this way.

That story destroyed her.Their story,although in the end she could have considered it only her own,at least in the last year.Y/n didn’t knew exactly when he stopped fighting.Maybe he had put a point scared by the idea that she could do it first,that she could confess that she didn't want him anymore after all that had happened.Frightened by the thought that they could become the shadow of their regrets.She didn't know when and if he stopped loving her,seeing himself in her future,considering her the only one for him.

It could have gone differently,Y/n said to herself years later.But no.Because she knew it well how they were:stubborn and clumsy,too serious,too hasty,proud as hell.When did he decided that he wasn't worth it anymore?It would have been enough for her to see him angry,to see him disappear,to feel him like ice.But no.With immense calm he decided that he was no longer for her and she,so resigned and afflicted,tried to stop him and felt like she had never known him.

What should have she told him?She didn’t know.She felt like she didn't know him.And then she believed that she had stopped believing in it.He always told her that his strength was her.It's not that she didn't trust them,but she trusted him more.His hands in hers,his splendid words,the dreams he built around her to protect her from everyone.

He protected her from him too,so he told her.As if she could ever want anything else.As if when she think of love she don't think of him.As if she could ever hate him.But when did he had decided to leave?Or rather,when did he had decided that he wouldn't come back?Because she went on but in every gesture she keep looking for him,waiting for him.She think of him every morning,but also in the morning and every hour in the middle.She always think of him,she always think of his perfume,his looks. To all the empties it had left her of him.

So many things have changed since he’s not there,but she know that if he came back she wouldn't explain them to him:they're not worth anything because he wasn’t there.And since Suguru was gone,Y/n was wherever he was.

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megalony · 2 years

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An eventful night

I haven’t done a Sonny Carisi imagine for a while now but I’ve gotten back into my SVU writing. I hope you all will like this one, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn @dreaming-about-fanfictions

Masterlist

Summary: Sonny agrees to go undercover with (Y/n) in a sex trafficking ring, but he can’t stop her getting hurt.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"(Y/n)? Would you infiltrate, he knows Amanda but he hasn't seen you yet."

"I'll go with her, he hasn't seen me either and it'll be safer."

Why did she agree to this? The mere thought of going undercover in a sex trafficking ring at a pimping party set her skin on edge and made her stomach churn horribly. She could get hurt, someone could try get handsy with her and she would break her cover fighting them off. What if she got cornered and hurt or assaulted?

Her nerves were barely controlled on the job, how would she be going under cover like this?

But Sonny was going with her. He wasn't about to let her go into a room full of pimps without at least one person in there with her that she knew and could trust. And who better to go in there with her than her own boyfriend. He could have her on his arm, wrap himself around her like a vine as he always does and get snarky with anyone trying to touch her and they wouldn't wonder why because she would be his girl.

A tingle ran down (Y/n)'s spine when her eyes cast down to look at what she was wearing for what felt like the hundredth time in a minute.

She had on a tight-fitting bright crimson dress with ruffles along the waist and spaghetti straps on the arms. The dress appraised her curves and figure lovely but the problem was that the hem barely covered her bum and sat on the very tops of her thighs. If she moved in the wrong way it would become a long shirt rather than a dress and her matching red lace underwear would be on show for everyone to leer at.

Her hands moved to pull down the dress again, wanting it at least another two inches down her thighs just to feel safe and protected but it slowly ruffled its way back up her legs again.

Her lips were smeared a darker shade of red and her hair was pinned up in a sultry style that always had Sonny on edge.

When her eyes landed on Sonny, her stomach tensed but for a different reason this time. His hair was slicked back into a curly wave as usual, but he was wearing black, high waisted trousers that clung to and showed off his hips. Tucked into the waistband of the trousers was the white dress shirt he wore which he had rolled up at the sleeves and the first two buttons undone. He was a sight for lustering eyes but when his own eyes found (Y/n), they seemed to widen like dark pools filling with desire.

"Wow... you look stunning, doll."

Sonny advanced over to (Y/n) and wrapped an arm around her lower waist before he pressed his lips to her temple, not wanting to smudge the rouge on her lips just yet.

"Careful Mr Carisi, you're on camera." A smirk pulled at (Y/n)'s lips when her eyes cast down to her cleavage and her finger tapped at the ruby hanging on a chain around her neck. It looked simple enough, the people they were investigating would know anyone in their group couldn't afford a real gem. But it would be impossible for any of them to realise that it was really a secret hidden camera to record the nights events.

"I'll have to bear that in mind, you ready?"

(Y/n) took a deep breath and tried one last failed attempt to pull down her dress before she nodded and walked ahead towards the lift.

"Sonny!" His name came out in a gasp when (Y/n) felt his hand come down and land a loud smack to her ass.

"What, I'm just getting into character." He shrugged his shoulders with a smirk that could kill, knowing that his girl was blushing because they were still in the precinct and eyes were now burning holes into them.

It was going to be an eventful night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Casting his eyes to the right, Sonny watched (Y/n) accept a glass of wine with a sultry smile, noticing her lipstick smearing around the rim of the glass with wine as red as her dress. He watched her hips sway and bounce from side to side as she slowly passed between the people dotted around the room. Her head dipping down as a silent hello, batting her lashes at a few people to try and make herself fit in.

He didn't like the way people were looking at her.

Granted, Sonny knew they were looking at her in a hungry, devouring way because they expected every girl here to be limitless and available to them and their looks meant that (Y/n) was blending in just fine. But he still didn't like it. Their eyes were looking far too long at his girl, the one he was here to protect and keep a watchful eye on.

If he lost sight of her for even a minute, someone could try and whisk her away to a secluded room and that was not going to happen.

Moving around, Sonny sat himself down on the end seat of the sofa to his left and took a swig of the beer in his hand. He had to at least look like he was meant to be here and enjoying himself somewhat.

"Hmm, fancy coming with me to the back for some... fun?"

A shudder ran down the base of (Y/n)'s spine at the crude tone of voice coming from a rather sleezy looking man. His grin showed crooked, discoloured teeth and his breath reeked of alcohol, more prominently, of gin. (Y/n) could practically feel the grease dripping off him and when he slid up close to her side she had to stop herself from gagging and try to look a little swayed. She was meant to be a sex worker, a girl who was hurt into submission, told that no was not something she could say.

She was supposed to pretend to be easy-going, up for anything and anyone because that was how every other girl and woman was at this party and she couldn't stick out like a sore thumb.

"Ha, you'd have to ask the boss about that." (Y/n) darted her tongue over her lips before pressing them together and tilting her head down, smiling devilishly at the revolting man. She curled a strand of hair around her finger before consciously biting her finger to try and put on a seductive show.

Her head turned in Sonny's direction but it seemed that he had heard the conversation so a desperate look wasn't needed to get him to help her out.

His arm swooped out in one swift motion and curled around her waist like a hook that reeled her in. His fingers sank softly into her hip but with a firmness that showed the protectiveness inside him was growing. Sonny effortlessly pulled (Y/n) down to sit on his lap, his heart jumping at the sound of her surprised giggle before she made herself comfy against him.

"My girl here is off limits 'til tonight, right sweetheart?" Sonny locked eyes with the drunk pimp whilst he pressed his lips to (Y/n)'s neck, biting the sweet spot beneath her jaw just to feel her tremble against him like jelly.

(Y/n) could only find it in herself to nod along with his words, unable to speak while his lips were at work against her neck.

Her head tipped back against Sonny's shoulder and she placed light kisses against his neck, feeling a groan grumbling against his Adam's apple at the touch causing his arm to tighten around her waist. At least this way they could stay close and be comfortable with each other without worrying that they were going to draw the wrong kind of attention to themselves tonight.

It felt like hours had passed as more people buzzed into the house, grabbing drinks, spilling drinks, exchanging intimate kisses and touches and drunk girls giggling. (Y/n) had seen a few girls clock out of the room and disappear upstairs before coming back down trying to rearrange their hair and clothes, a few of them with saddened eyes and shaking limbs.

Downing the wine remaining in her glass, (Y/n) tipped her head further back against Sonny's shoulder and the back of the sofa, wishing they were at home instead of this pimp house that reeked of alcohol and drugs.

(Y/n) had shimmied from side to side, turning to make sure the camera in her necklace got a good view of everyone here and all the girls so they could find out who they were and make sure when they raided this place, everyone was accounted for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sonny couldn't keep a close eye on (Y/n) when the raid started.

He had tried to push her behind him the moment the others burst through the door and announced the house was under arrest. He knew that (Y/n) didn't have her gun with her, she managed to tuck her badge into her tights just near her underwear since it was the only concealed place she had on her. But she didn't have anywhere to stash her gun, the dress would outline the bulky weapon too easily and it couldn't exactly stay down her cleavage with the dress being low cut and people constantly leering at her.

But somewhere along the line she had moved from behind him to tackle a pimp trying to run through the kitchen to make a break for his escape and Sonny was too preoccupied on pinning and cuffing the man he had tackled to the floor.

"What are you doing, come on we need to get out!" a girl in a skimpy leaf green dress grabbed (Y/n)'s hand and tried to pull her up the stairs, hoping no officers were there so she could climb out a window and make a break for the streets. All the girls had their own safe places to go and meeting points to get back to their pimps or other working girls.

"The officers will keep you safe, they're not here to hurt you." (Y/n) held the girl's hand, smiling gently to try encourage her down to Olivia.

"I don't know who your fancy man is, but mine won't bail me out if I get caught. W-what are you doing?"

A spark of fear tremored in the girl's stomach when (Y/n) shook her head and reached under her dress to grab her badge.

"If he loved you, he wouldn't sell you for two crumpled notes. Why live like this when you can take a hand and get proper help?" (Y/n) didn't exactly wait for an answer, she used the girl's stunned silence to shock her and drag her down the stairs towards Olivia. The girl was going to protest, it was clear as day in her eyes but (Y/n) didn't have time to debate with her whether she thought she deserved any better than this life.

Bypassing Olivia very swiftly, the girl dodged past Amanda and Sonny and ran through the kitchen, only turning her head when she heard (Y/n)'s voice behind her and saw one of the men beckoning her to hurry and follow him to escape.

Sonny's head snapped to the left when a gunshot rang through the air making them all stop, wondering who started firing again.

A gut-wrenching sound left his lips when he watched (Y/n)'s head snap back towards her back and her body tumbled backwards as if someone had given her a shove off the edge of a cliff. The way she crumbled to the tiled floor made bile jump up Sonny's throat as tears fell from his eyes.

She was shot.

Silent prayers rattled round his head as he skidded and stumbled on the polished floor, discarding his gun before he headed towards his girl. He could see the blood trickling down the side of her head and starting to drip onto the floor like a leaky tap.

"Baby? Oh Doll can you hear me? Baby... baby!"

Sonny's voice trembled but got louder and louder with each syllable until he was almost screaming the words at her begging for her to open her eyes and look at him or wake up or move a finger, just do something. His hands shook as he cupped her face in his palms, trying to see where she had been shot.

Moving his fingers, Sonny dabbed his fingertip against the left side of (Y/n)'s temple, parting her hair so he could see the damage. She was breathing, he could hear the soft scraping noise of air leaving her nostrils but when she fell, he could have sworn the bullet had gone to her head and no one could survive that, surely.

Her hair was soaking with blood, each strand was turning dark rouge, sticking to his fingers like smudged ink or jam and making it harder for him to part her hair to see her scalp and assess the damage. Sonny growled before letting go of (Y/n)'s face and using both hands to part her hair, seeing there was a long gash on the side of her head an inch above her ear. She hadn't been shot like he thought, the bullet had scraped deeply against her head but it wasn't lodged into her skull or skin.

The breath of utter relief that Sonny let out came as a choked cry before he went back to cradling (Y/n)'s face in his hands, smoothing his bloodied thumbs over her skin.

"I need a bus!" He snapped his jaw like a crocodile before his tone changed and he looked back to (Y/n). "Baby... wake up doll, come back round to me."

Scanning his eyes around him, Sonny sat back on his heels and ripped the bottom of his shirt, scrunching it up before he pressed it to the side of (Y/n)'s temple. He had to keep the blood flow at a minimum until she got to the hospital and got the care she needed. He brushed the hair from her face, holding back from shaking her shoulder in a desperate attempt to wake her.

A breathless noise left Sonny's lips when (Y/n)'s eyes slowly started to flutter like the wings of a butterfly. He could see she couldn't get her vision in focus but her lips parted and a dry, croaky gurgle vibrated against her throat and a dribble of blood trickled down her lips.

"Baby, I've got you it's all gonna be okay... baby?"

Sonny couldn't quite work out the look on (Y/n)'s face, her eyes were half lidded, her lips were spitting blood and groaning but it was the way her muscles pinched at the cheeks and her lips moved into a wobbling shape like she was made of wax and starting to melt. He could see (Y/n)'s hand trying to move but she couldn't find the ability or energy to move it properly, only shake it an inch from the ground, her fingers curled at odd angles, shuffling and seeming to indicate to her head.

"You're hurt Doll but I'm gonna take care of you, shh doll don't- what?" Sonny gently took hold of her hand and lowered it back to her side, he didn't know what she was trying to point at or do but she didn't need to burn energy trying to move. She had to stay still in case she had any nerve damage to her head or neck.

Such a noise like a mewling kitten trying to scream left her lips and her face contorted into one of agony making Sonny's heart break deep in his chest.

She couldn't hear him.

(Y/n) was trying to scream, to talk, to make any noise she could but she couldn't hear herself or anything around her. His words weren't comforting because they weren't reaching her ears.

"Okay Doll, let's get you help."

He had to get her outside and see if any medics were about to help, he had to find someone to help her, she'd been shot for God's sake.

Taking extreme car when moving his hands behind (Y/n)'s head and neck, he slowly shifted her head so it was leaning against his shoulder, the rag of shirt pressing to her wound now trapped between her head and his shoulder to keep stemming the blood flow. He could feel her chest vibrating, trying to make some noise and show she was awake and in immense pain but her voice was too quiet for him to make out what she was trying to say.

Sonny slowly slipped an arm under her knees, his other arm protectively and strongly around her upper back before he cradled her to his chest like he was protecting an endangered child.

"I need a medic here! Don't worry Doll, you'll be okay."

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi imagine #imagine #dominic x reader #dominic carisi imagine #dominic carisi #Olivia Benson #Amanda Rollins #law and order #law and order svu

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levanterhaze · 2 years

Text

✧ HOW TO LOVE WITH BTS (MAKNAE LINE)

→ jimin x reader | taehyung x reader | jungkook x reader

→ just a drabble with how the maknae line demonstrates affection & love

→ warning: light smut, nothing to worry about and most fluffly things

if you want to read the first part (HYUNG LINE) just click here

park jimin, physical touch

jimin’s definitely the most romantic man in the world when it comes to the person he loves. he spares no effort to show how much he loves and oh how much he cares. he’s a physical touch lover, at every chance he wants to demonstrate that he’s there physically. this includes letting you fall asleep in his arms after a long day at work, where he caresses your skin so slowly until you fall into a deep sleep. he also makes sure you feel loved, kisses on the forehead, in the corner of your lips, behind hugs and moments where he carries you to bed. he likes to put his hands inside your shirt when you're sleeping, to feel and caress your skin. he’s also a person who loves to call you by the most pet names possible. “my angel, pretty girll” always making you blush like a little girl, because he has the charm, with those siren eyes. he especially loves using these names in bed. when he slowly removes your clothes, embracing your skin, always telling you how beautiful you’re, perfect for him. no matter what situation you're in, whether it's you giving him the finest bliss, or him eating you out, he needs to make sure you know how good you’re being for him, in every way. he’s a skin to skin lover, the heat, the sweat, the cuddle and the love that comes inside this combination’s certainly his favorite.

kim taehyung, taking pictures

this man has a classically artistic soul so that means the whole relationship is based on taehyung being the most considerate but still cult boyfriend. he likes to capture the moments you spend together, be it at home watching a movie or going for walks on the street, trips to the city, to other countries, where you’re always the main monument of his art. so he always goes out with a camera around his neck, recording every second you're together. he likes to have a collection, that's why his house has traces of you, always on polaroids scattered around the house, stuck in a bedroom mirror, inside his wallet, inside albums, and perhaps the most precious: the provocative ones that taehyung captures when you're alone. it definitely makes the relationship more erotic, he asking you to pose on the bed in different positions, each click a less piece of clothing, until you have to cover your body with your hands, blushing violently because he’s registering you in its most vulnerable version. but taehyung’s a man in love, he collects memories and makes sure that the most intimate ones, whether you’re wrapped in his body, or the sight of you giving him head, will be kept for just the two of you. so, as always, he prefers to document the moments you spend together so he can always remember the good times.

jeon jungkook, quality time

many say that a long distance relationship doesn't work, but you and jungkook are proof that this is bullshit. every day he calls you via facetime to see if you are ok, he makes a point of asking about the mundane things in your life, such as “what did you eat today?” or “how was class?” because he cares and even from afar, he needs to be part of your life. when he's around, he makes a point of giving you as much attention as possible even when your schedules collide at odds. he prepares your lunch when he’s in your apartment, keeps you company while you study and when you call it a day, the night becomes a marathon of series, pizza, wine and video games, where he’s much better than you, but you don't care , just being next to the person you love is enough. jungkook likes people to feel loved by him, that's why he likes to make you laugh, he takes you to places whenever possible, arcades, backstage shows, rehearsals, where you watch from behind the scenes, hidden from everyone. another active thing in your relationship is the constant exchange of messages, whether it's about everyday life, exchanging memes — because you're that kind of couple, or about spicy ones. it's endless teasing, you just need a teasing photo while he's at some important event or interview to have him confused, with those doe eyes, parted lips, trying to know how to proceed, his malfunctioning brain. of course, he rewards you for it later — in the best possible way.

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bloodsoaked-gown · 10 months

Text

pt 13(its gonna get small parts because im in a writing slump ) kinda nsfw? idk

@hell-lit011019 @vellhighbandi @pheonix-thefirebird @stranger-the-better

her pov

I tug his shirt and lean closer to his face. We are holding our gaze as my lips are slightly brushing on his lips. My insides are going feral, as if I have no thoughts but him, which is true. I want to call him mine, do things to each other and have secrets between us no one will know. My heart beats are audible, I shudder a breathe I need him, fuck it. I pull him by collar and crash my lips on his, my eyes are shut and it was red, everything felt red and burning, I haven't felt this impatient about anyone. I pull away, I don't want to look at him, what if he, he doesn't feel the same.

His hands cup around my face and he tilts my face 'look at me' he speaks softly, and I open my eyes to find him gazing me, with the same gaze as last Sunday night, making me melt in his palms, he is pretty, his hair is kinda messy. His eyes are dark brown, like chocolat- He pulls me in again, our lips are locked with each other. It feels like a feverish dream. His touch, his hands caressing my face, cupping my cheeks, so tender. My hands have made a place in his hair, and other wrapped around his chest. Our lips are pulling each other with a rhythm of their own. I can barely breathe.

We break apart, he is breathing heavily, so was I catching on my breathe. My heart will burst out, I can feel by blood gushing. It was a sloppy kiss, an impatient one, glad I wasn't the only one hungry like a hormonal teen for him. My gaze starts to roam around taking in every inch of him, his hairs messed up, my hands resting on his shoulders, his eyes wandering over my face. His lips, he is lightly biting with an upright curl, my hands reach out to brush his lips, they are warm, red, red from my lipstick damn, and soft. His hands slips around mine, and he kisses on my palm. My stomach feels a sensation, butterflies, sink in it. 'is it alright?' I ask out of concern, I know how hard it has been for him to be comfortable to people's touch. He leans in my palm and nods with a smile.

We lean in for a kiss again, a slow soft steady one. His hands roam around my waist pulling me closer. My hand found its way to the edge of his shirt while one hovers over his shoulders. He lays down on sofa pulling me on top of him. My hands reach for his skin beneath, my hands want to go all over him. I need him but I hope this isn't too much for him.. I don't want to rush him.

his pov-

'is it alright?' she asks, she cares and remembers things, how can I not love her... I lean in her palm and nod.

We lean in for a kiss again, my hands are around her waist I want to pull her close, I don't know if I deserve her. Her hand is resting around the edge of my shirt. I lean her closer on me, she is over me and her hands touch my skin, It sends a shiver all over my body, her touch is soft like a flower, its just one touch and I fell sparks blasting in my skin. It's different from him, no, no, I don't need to think about him. Focus on Payu. The way she looks at me is different, unlike that, Her hands reach around my necks slowly tracing the edge of my shirt's button.

authors note-

yes ayan is bi, genderfluid but goes with he/him and identifies as a boy for most parts or none on some days. he is traumatized and next part is gonna hurt me :D

*a normal day, BTS*

z: and cut, great job guys

payu: why are we going so slow? *scofffs*

ayan: and why am I being like that????

z: for the plot!

payu: WHAT PLOT. we just want to fuck each other let us be

z: *evil smiles*

ayan: god this person, who let her write our fate?

payu: ikr she is such a sadist

z: im your GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP

payu: yeah YEAH whatever we are gonna make out now if you are done playing around with us

z: you cantttttttt

ayan: we can :) did your forgot *censored tmi*

z:*gives up* whatever you guys do, not on camera.

*loud noises and screams on behind*

Z: umm it feels wrong I will end the recording now, bye guys-

*end of bts

#im severely bored so im writing shit

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christallise · 2 years

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Ooooh congrats on your milestone sweetie, I'm happy for you, your work is very fresh to read and i love how you word different sensations<3 may I please request a dom faery!Changbin finding a photographer!reader (afab) in the woods with the prompt: “You know, I could always get you off right here, right now.” please? Or you can scratch off the faery concept if you want. Hope Tumblr doesn't eat my ask jdjsjdjd Thank you in advance! ☁️

hi there!! thank you so much for the kind compliment, i sincerely appreciate 💕 i hope this is what you were looking for!! i had to cut this for length cause i could seriously have written a whole fic about it nevermind a drabble hehe!! maybe one day ;;

“You know, I could always get you off right here, right now.”

Deep in the hidden reaches of the High Forest, bordered by messy brambles and mossy fauna that stretches as far as one’s eyes can see; you find yourself lost. After hours of aimless wandering through winding paths that disappear and reappear through leafy shrubs, you finally find an opening in the trees; a grove with an oasis situated in its centre and you thank the Gods that the undergrowth here has waned. Though you are lost, at least the vermillion sunset casts the perfect canvas for your photography; finding your way back becomes a passing thought in the back of your mind. The golden hour provides you with photos anyone would envy and you’re sure that you would make a hefty amount of coin for them.

It’s just as you’re beginning to pack up your things and venture back into the thicket of trees that you hear a sound not unlike an arrow striking a tree. Curiosity gets the better of you and you venture towards the sound, clutching your trusty dagger in your fist. As you approach the source of the noise, you begin to feel a sense of dread and contemplate turning back.

“‘Miss?”

You almost jump out of your skin, spinning on your heels only to be faced with a dark haired man a quite a bit taller than yourself with pointed ears adding at least two inches to his height. He looks at you with curious eyes, his head lopped to the side. When he gets a good look at you, his eyes widen.

“You’re a human?” he says with a bite of his lip, “What’s a little human doing this far into the forest when it’s so unsafe?”

You’re aware of this, which is why you back away slowly from the creature; you’d heard of the fae that roam these woods but never did you consider actually bumping into one. As you back away, he takes a step forward.

“I’ve never met a human before,” he muses, eyeing you with fascination, “So cute and small.”

“Thank you?” You say because that’s all your mind will allow. When he chuckles darkly, you wonder just what you’ve stepped into.

“Changbin,” he says while outstretching his hand, “and you are?”

“Y/n,” you say, taking the handshake.

“And what are you doing so deep into these woods?”

“Taking pictures,” you say, motioning towards the camera slung around your neck, “It’s breathtakingly beautiful here.”

Changbin nods in agreement, his ears bobbing gently. “True, though, I can think of something even more beautiful than this.”

“Oh?”

“A little human lost in the forest,” he says with a smirk, leaning against the bark of a nearby tree, “Human’s really are something else.”

You’re at a loss for words as Changbin neatly crosses his arms over his chest and your attention falls on just how built he is; his arms threaten to tear at the fabric of his shirt. Locals at the inn had talked about how tiny and delicate the fae are, Changbin seems to be a rare breed.

“You need to find your way home, don’t you little one?”

Changbin asks and when you nod, he grins. “Tell you what, I’ll cut you a deal.”

You decide to hear the fae out, despite their trickster nature. Deep down, you know it’s going to be something self-indulgent but you have no way home and if you are honest with yourself, Changbin is very much your type.

“I get you off, right here, right now,” Changbin says nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders, “Then I show you the way home, what do you say?”

Of course. You know you could probably find your own way home but something is so tantalising about Changbin’s offer. You mull over your options; something feels so strange but so exhilarating about fooling around with a stranger in the woods. “Alright, deal.”

That’s how you two end up tangled in each other’s arms, lips smacking and tongues tied together as Changbin’s hands roam every inch of your skin. The fae wastes no time in making quick work of your shirt, yanking it over your head and cupping your tits in his hands. You moan into the kiss, feeling your underwear dampen as his fingers pinch and pull at your nipples.

“You are so loud,” he’s prideful but it only furthers your arousal, something about the way he smiles so wickedly makes the knot in your stomach tie tighter. “You like getting off where you could be caught?”

“N-no one comes through here,” your argument is as feeble as your attempt to stifle your moans as his hand slips beneath the waistband of your underwear, “We won’t get caught.”

Changbin laughs, dipping his finger into your folds, circling your clit with a gentle pressure. “There are other fae around, you know. Any one of them could wander over here and see you all messy just for me.”

He’s right but it only spurs you on; the adrenaline courses through your veins as Changbin’s pace quickens on your bud. You’re so close already, you can feel the familiarity of heat pooling in your stomach and then — he withdraws his hand and you mewl, whimpering like a pup.

“Are all humans this easy?” You don’t have a chance to answer, his fingers push into your mouth with a force that makes you almost gag. “Suck.”

Compliant and keen to please, you do so with resolve. Even with Changbin’s fingers so painfully deep down your throat, you maintain composure. Your tongue twirls around them, coating them in saliva in preparation of what is to come. Changbin watches you with dazzled eyes, absolutely spellbound by how well you’re doing. “That’s it,” he says, watching as your throat takes his fingers to the knuckle, “Fuck you’re incredible.”

Satisfied with the preparation of his fingers, he returns to your core and slips a finger inside you; grinning when you hurriedly clasp your hands over your mouth.

“Don’t want to be loud now, hm?” he asks, adding a second finger to the mix and hooking them so perfectly against your spot and pumping them in rhythm. “Such a shame, you sound so pretty when you moan.”

Now you’re definitely at his mercy, your body slumps against the tree as he works magic on you — he slips two fingers inside you easily, curling so expertly against your spot. You’re writhing, thrashing in want and fighting to keep yourself standing while Changbin scoffs in arrogance behind you. “Look how well you take it,” he says, unable to hide his smugness when you hiss through your teeth, “So easy, aren’t we?” And he’s right — you cannot argue in your current state. Especially not when he adds a third finger to the mix, relentlessly pounding against your spot as you grab hold of him for dear life. He’s laughing now, watching you split at the seams as you cum hard around his fingers, inciting you as you do. “Fuck, you’re clenching so hard aren’t you? Cumming for me like a good girl.”

When you fall from your high, it’s both mental and physical; your body slumps limp against the tree and Changbin simply watches in devious pleasure, beaming with pride.

“Aw, tired out?” he asks with a grin, watching as you wearily stand and attempt to make yourself presentable again. When you feebly nod, it makes him chuckle.

“Next time, I wanna feel that pretty mouth on my cock.”

#ask response #cloud anon ☁️#smut drabble #changbin smut #skz smut #stray kids smut #changbin x reader #changbin x y/n #skz x reader #skz x y/n #changbin req

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frostandflamesthoughts · 2 years

Text

Welcome to Elowyn's Review of Assembled: The Making of Multiverse of Madness.

Yes, I finally sat down to watch it. Follow me, dear children, as we settle in for a new adventure.

**MAJOR SPOILERS FOR MoM AND THE ASSEMBLED SPECIAL ON DISNEY PLUS -- PROCEED WITH CAUTION (I attempted to keep all spoilers under the cut**

Not the biggest fan of the person they chose to be the host, but okay

“First film did a great job describing the journey of Doctor Strange….[now] it’s about what he’s become and the price he’s had to pay.” Um. . . The only place we’ve seen that is with Stephen’s relationship with Christine. Which went so downhill so fast. Where else did we see it? There was no universe he was actually happy in, he’s just been destined to make sacrifices??? You easily could have combatted this with a SINGLE universe where Stephen had a happy ending. Maybe not with Christine but something???

That last point totally wasn’t me being feral over father Stephen.

Ugh. Wedding suit Stephen. Thank you, Waldron and Raimi. I will give you this victory.

“He’s all powerful and perfect…I wanted to know how he’d gotten there.” I have comments but- HOLY CRAP ITS THE GIF WITH THE UNDONE TIE AND DRESS SHIRT! YESSSS!

After that brief outburst… oops. If he’s all powerful and perfect, let’s see him weak for a change. Let’s delve deeper into the inner trauma rather than just a heartbreak from Christine. We barely scratched the surface, even with the mention of Donna.

Oh. Okay Benedict mentions the cost of his abilities now. Still, I point to the fact we never saw the idyllic life Stephen would have wanted and actually gave up. We saw nothing but his infatuation with Christine. 😢

Another good point by BC; Stephen is in an emotional state at the beginning of MoM. We can kinda see his tough guy persona come out after that, especially with the memory bank scene.

Aw Papa Strange!

How did I not know Xochitl wore glasses? That makes her even more adorable.

Ugh the costumes are beautiful

The fact that Benedict Wong just asked what TikTok is makes me love him even more. And the dancing- oh my god it’s like a little family.

Why are we calling Zombie Strange, “Dead Strange”? Not liking that.

There’s going to be a hot take from me later on evil Wanda. But I would have liked to see Wanda go bad at the end of MoM, if at all.

Also can we talk about Lizzie Olson’s makeup and costume? And her avoidance of calling Wanda evil? 😂😂

So are we just saying that WandaVision isn’t exactly canon? Is that what we’re saying, Waldron???

I love the explanations of Wanda’s costume. The attention to detail is fantastic.

“She just loved too much” …… there’s a difference between loving too much and allowing an evil book corrupt you.

Let’s talk about the VFX and production prep because that is so cool. It really gives you such a great view into what is needed to make a movie and you get a greater appreciation for everything. The winch camera is clever and I didn’t realize at first that it would be from Wanda’s POV.

“Just so we Can use Benedict’s face as much as we can” Love it.

Awww Xochitl getting excited over the wire work!!! I’d adopt her if I could because she’s so freaking adorable.

So the Illuminati was just pulling crap out of thin air? It’s believable. But I mean…..really?

Okay slightly weird seeing the prep work for the Mordo and Stephen fight. I don’t hate it

Captain Carter!! I would like to see her have her own movie at some point, although that isn’t possible in the canon 616-MCU or whatever label we have for this reality.

I appreciate the combat efficient suit rather than skin tight. But I mean, damn does she look good. Am I about to do some Captain Carter fic? Maybe. Who knows.

The blossoms in that scene were artificial?!? Oh that’s incredible.

The sets are stunning. They just are so so detailed. We need to give them a standing ovation because there’s so much there and the little nods to culture, both within the MCU and real life. I would love to live on these sets.

The attention to detail again when it comes to the spells and the tutting… the different use of gestures is interesting to me. I wish I could have seen more of the behind the scenes of the OG Doctor Strange film.

The 15 universe scene, I have a love-hate relationship with it. It reminds me of how much they just kinda slapped onto the script.

I’ve just noticed how much Supreme’s hands shook. Did anyone else see if 616-Stephen’s hands shook this film?

I appreciate the description of how Sinister Strange was meant to be darker. I would have liked to see more of his backstory. Going to echo my friend, @sobeautifullyobsessed’s idea of a D+ series.

Dreamwalking?? Super cool concept and I loved it. Zombie Strange…could take or leave him.

Raimi-isms? The horror element is interesting. I didn’t entirely hate it. Actually has me more interested in horror genre films! I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a heart attack at some point but thanks Marvel 😂

“I saw Sherlock Holmes. That boy can act” you can say that again!

The overall environment of the filming process looks to be very encouraging and you could tell that everyone was super passionate about the project. I mean, even watching it, it’s encouraging and I think it was a great matchup. I really just wish the script wasn’t being written while it was being filmed. It could have been even more amazing than it was.

Stephen’s emotional growth. Okay, I will 100% stand by all of this and it’s a beautiful explanation of his relationship with America. I think what would have been interesting was if America had tried to discover some of her abilities while they were traveling through the multiverse and Stephen had to stop her and take control a bit more. We didn’t really see a lot of that? Maybe it’s just me.

The potential of evil to be awakened inside of Strange would be interesting as well. I look forward to seeing what would become of his character in a Doctor Strange 3, which I really hope is announced at SDCC in two weeks. Stephen deserves to be on the path to happiness, but maybe he needs to struggle with his inner demons that attack HIM first. Fingers crossed that means we get Nightmare.

“Marvel is about finding the humanity in the icon.” I’ll just leave that phrase here and point to my rant thus far.

Next time on Elowyn Reacts, we’ll tackle my actual thoughts on MoM as a whole. If you made it this far, have a cookie from the Cumber-batch and a Stephen! If you want to see more types of posts like this, let me know what you want me to react to in the comments. As of right now, I'm currently watching Stranger Things for my new obsession, as well as Patrick Melrose, so if either of those tickle your fancy, let me know! Until next time, little sparks!

#elowyn's word vomit #elowynsmultiversalspoilers #frostandflamesthoughts #frostandflamesrants #reviews with elowyn #elowyn reviews #doctor strange multiverse of madness #dr stephen strange #stephen strange #benedict cumberbatch #disney plus #marvel cinematic universe #marvel thoughts #marvel assembled

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jennaseniorprojectblog · 2 years

Text

Project progress update 2

A lot has happened these last couple weeks. As I’ve been working I’ve been taking notes and screenshots here and there to record my progress. Here is what I’ve been up to.

Designing, and posing characters Weeks 4-6

9/11/22

I posed my first character Adda and took pictures. For all my other characters, I use the same process once I finished their hair and clothes. I hit the photo icon on the top right of Vroid Studio to start. When taking pictures of your Vroid model, you can put it in pose mode. I did this to move the character up, frame the camera around them, and pose them. I also adjusted the picture size to a width - of 881 height - of 720. Then I made the background color #04F404. This makes it special effects green color that you can remove to have a transparent background. I save that pose, name it character (mood) bring the image to - https://www.remove.bg/upload to get rid of the background. Then I save that photo to the respective asset folder I made for that character (character name expressions).

Uploaded assets to Headkanon.com. (Plus google drive)

- note about Adda’s design its supposed to be fun and dynamic like her.

9/12/22

I discovered you can recolor texture using color calibration

Saving different variations of eyes and skin for each character

https://vroid.pixiv.help/hc/en-us/articles/4405438979225

9/16/22

I created Bindi's hair from scratch using the presets I initially used as a reference. It took me a while to figure out how to do a braid. I used one of my failed attempts at braiding as a part of Bindi's design. Now she has braided hair and twisty hair.

Image of me posing Bindi (9/19/22)

For Bindi's dress I exported the guide and design template

Brought them together in Krita

Exported again as jpeg

I emailed it to myself to use as a guide in ibis paint Then I sent it back and put it in Vroid.

Bindi is supposed to be in cosplay. I don't have her cosplaying as anything specifically, but I did want to her clothes to seem like that of a fantasy character. I randomly decided to go with a fairy princess flower theme.

I also worked on other two main character’s Niko and Kaleo's shirts.

Like I did with Adda, I am continuing this practice with other characters, bringing in the design from my phone and getting it to fit in the UV map. I'm using different techniques to get the design to fit. For Adda's shirt, I warped the perspective; however, for this shirt, I'm doing a different warp technique where I grab different points and stretch the shirt in different directions. By doing this, I can ensure that when I bring this texture to Vroid, the shirt will be in the correct place to display over the shirt. I'm also using liquify, which essentially spreads the shirt more freely.

I tried a different approach for the Mom's shirt. I did her design in vroid studio, then copied the layer multiple times, applying various effects like lighten, darken, etc. I also used the teardrop blur brush to make things look better. The lines are not as lovely when drawn on the computer.

I like how it came out.

For the Mom's design, I unconsciously used my Moms two favorite colors (black and red) and her birthday as an inspiration. I also used the color pink with hearts because my Mom was born on Valentine's day, and pink is just a cute color to have with hearts.

Within Week 5, I finished posing the main characters since their shirts and hair were done.

This is how I felt while doing it. It's really not the same as posing a character with rig controls in Blender.

- Kaleo's hair, as you can see above was kind of tricky to design. I wanted it to look thick and poofy and have a lion mane look. I also adjusted his face to look more Hawaiian.I looked up images of Hawaiian guys and used random pictures as a reference.

- Kaleo shirt has a lot of triangles in the design; this was inspired by the traditional patterns Hawaiians would stamp on Kapa cloth There is also a lion in the center, which references the character's name and love for lions.

This is how I felt when I finished doing it.

Niko's shirt is not too flashy. I used cool colors. This reflects how Niko wants to be calm and not draw attention to himself. The effects and brushes I used give the shirt a fluffy texture. Niko wants to be comfortable, and his clothes reflect that.

Now for the side characters. 9/24/22

I decided to make Edwardo's shirt in vroid. I made his hair thick which is somewhat plot significant.To me, he looks like a popular kid in school

I made this design a while back in ibis paint. I brought it into Krita, ensured it covered the shirt area, and then imported it into vroid. I was thinking along the lines of Hawaiian shirt/Japanese aesthetics, which ended up fitting the boss character who I made Japanese. Fall is a significant season; it reflects impermanence as the leaves change color and dry up. Granted, in Hawaii, we don't experience this. I'm a huge fan of autumn leaves, and Ibis paint had a leaf brush that I went crazy with. Note that the purple at the bottom is supposed to be transparent; however, when I save it as a jpeg, it turns out like that. If you bring a png into vroid, the design will look faded, so I save them as a jpeg to keep the design looking vibrant.

I Did the same thing for Bella's design. I made it in ibis paint. I should note that I was able to achieve this pattern by using the symmetry kaleidoscope tool. In other words, you have a bunch of lines repeating ray-like lines, and when you draw between these lines a pattern. The pattern you draw is then repeated several times over. I also really love getting crazy with different effects like glow, bevel, color contrast, etc.

Rather than doing what I did with the boss's shirt, I decided to have the design overlap itself. The small square design on top covers the torso portion of Bella's dress, and then behind it, the rest of the dress is covered by a larger design. Then like I have for the other designs made outside of vroid, I took this design along with an exported UV map of Bella's dress and ensured the design covered the entire area. This was a bit of a gamble, but when I brought it into vroid, it looked pretty good, to my relief.

9/25/22

Keyon's shirt was made in vroid. I was trying to make a plaid shirt. It doesn't look plaid, but it looks good.

Cara's design, like Bella's, was a case of me having fun with the symmetry kaleidoscope tool. You can adjust the number of times the design repeats. You can also turn it off and add to it, which I did. Like I did with Kaleo's shirt, the design fits within the main body of the shirt, so I have to use the liquify tool to spread it outwards for the sleeves to be covered.

I had to add some props to some of the character expressions. I started with Kaleo, whose pose calls for taking notes with a pencil and notebook. I used this method several times of selecting the hand in the original layer, then going back to the layer with the object in it and erasing the highlighted part so that their hand looks like it's going over the object.

Some other examples

Editing the story

- Story 1 Has been reviewed once over by people I know. (Sep 11-12) Poll questions were modified. A psychologist I know pointed out that people don't want to look bad when publicly choosing an answer. The way I wrote some of my questions made it seem like you'd be a jerk if you didn't put a specific answer. She suggested I have some questions not be multiple choice, so the viewer has to type in a response. I also got help from my brother, a law school student (writing is his bread and butter) plus, he was once an editor for a college magazine, so he gave me some tips on grammar/wording. On top of that, I use a program called Grammarly.

-I also went through the script of story 3 with my brother (Sep 21). I changed the poll's wording and audience response options and went to the other stories to tweak them. I also checked with Grammarly for the first two stories to see how many seconds it takes to read each part and their respective poll questions. So far, each part is under the max 90 seconds, except for one part that is 3 seconds over. Now I'm just reviewing all four stories and editing the grammar and tone.

Poll questions

As I mentioned in my previous update, I got some excellent advice from UH West Oahu's Gloria Niles before I started writing my questions. She advised that I use the questions to ask the audience how they would feel if they were the character in the story or if it was someone they knew. Perspective-taking is the key. If I can get the audience to understand the character and imagine what it's like to be them or know them. Ideally, that will cultivate some understanding. Another thing I was advised to do is address the disability that's being represented. So I also made questions that say this character has such and such and explored that within the question. By that, I mean encouraging the audience to imagine what it's like or describe how they would feel. For example, one of my questions for story 3, which talks about autism, is this - "How would you feel if you were Kaleo and had no idea why people were annoyed with you? What would you do?" When you have trouble reading nonverbal cues, as some folks with autism do, it gets confusing. I'm fluent in vocal English, but my silent English isn't great. It's almost like you are a foreigner in your own home.

Finally, yesterday I changed the dialogue box to a default option that mimics subtitles.

With all the character’s done now, what I need to do by week 8 Oct 11th.

1. Get approval

2. Finish editing the stories

3. Change the expressions of the characters throughout the story - would write a cue in the script like - Adda happy.

4. Get some background images

5. Record each clip to bring to Instagram

Finally, I will keep doing my best.

#character design #senior project #vroid #neurodiversity project #cm490

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petersspidey · 3 years

Text

Laundry Day

Summary: Y/N needs help carrying her laundry down to the laundry room and Bucky steps in to save the day. But he also has a load of his own ;)

Warnings: a lot of smut

Word Count: 3154 (its so long wtf)

MASTERLIST

Sometimes you hated Tony.

Like when he was overly cocky, and almost ruining your missions but somehow coming out the hero. Or when he tells the team something you didn't want all of them to know.

But you have never hated him more than when he put the laundry in the basement of the Avengers compound. You argued with him when he was first building it. He put your room on the top floor in the furthest possible wing from the laundry and unlike almost all of the Avengers you did not have super strength. So carrying your laundry across the entire building and down eight flights was not exactly easy.

So every two weeks you would spend 15 minutes just getting your dirty laundry from your room down to the laundry room, cursing Tony's name every time.

So there you were, the second Sunday of every month leaving your room, with an overflowing basket of laundry in your hand. As soon as you opened your door it felt like you ran into a brick wall. You toppled backward landing on your ass, and you had completely dropped your basket. Your clothes had spilled everywhere.

You sighed, and looked up.

"Sorry, Y/N." Bucky said

He bent down, starting to help you pick up your clothes.

"It's ok," you sighed, joining him in placing everything back into the basket.

"What were you doing standing outside my room anyway?" you asked

"I wasn't standing outside your room … I just happened to be walking past right as you opened your door."

You laughed, "ok Buck. Whatever you say."

He huffed in frustration. You always knew how to get under his skin, but he also knew how to get under yours.

Bucky helped you pick up the last few items of your laundry, when he held up something in front of your face.

You black lace thong. Your eyes widened, and you quickly snatched it from his hands.

You quickly threw the last things into your basket, and stood up.

"Well, thanks for the help. I gotta go."

You tried to get out of there as quickly as possible. Your cheeks burning red over the fact that Bucky just had your dirty underwear in his hand. But, your basket once again held you back. You lifted it, but had to walk slowly, barely able to see over the top of the mountain of clothes.

"Do you need some help?" Bucky asked, watching you walk away

"Nope. I'm good," you yelled back.

Bucky eyed you for a second, before turning to walk away. You continued down the hall, slowly making your way to the elevator. After barely making it anywhere. You placed the basket down for a moment, resting your arms. You stretched your back, and before you could bend down again to scoop up your basket Bucky was standing beside you, reaching down to grab it.

"I said I didn't need help," you said

"Yeah, and as much fun as it was watching you struggle to carry this and need to take a break five seconds in, I figured I'd just lend you a hand," he said

"Well it's not my fault I'm not a supersoldier like you," you muttered

Bucky chuckled and started walking down the hall toward the elevator.

"You carry this by yourself every week? How do you go through so many clothes?" he asked

"Well, every other week. But, yes."

"And! This is not an abnormal amount of clothes for two weeks, thank you very much." you continued

"You know, if you did laundry every week you might not have such an issue getting down to the laundry room." Bucky said, smirking at you.

You rolled your eyes, "Whatever, Barnes."

"You're just upset because you know I'm right."

As you approached the elevator, you pressed the button and Bucky put your laundry down.

"Thanks, I think I've got it from here," you said.

The elevator doors opened, and once again, before you could grab your basket Bucky managed to get a hold of it first.

"Really, Bucky. It's ok I'll be fine from here."

"Are you forgetting about the long hallway downstairs?" He said, stepping onto the elevator with your clothes.

You huffed, and followed him on.

"I'm a big girl. I can do it myself."

The doors closed and you began to descend.

"Oh don't get your little lacy panties in a twist, I wasn't doing anything else I don't mind giving you a hand." Bucky said, smirking at you, knowing exactly how you'd react.

Your face became red again.

"Don't talk about my underwear."

"If you don't want me talking about your underwear maybe you should move the hot pink g-string that you have sitting at the top of your basket."

You lightly gasp, and reach over, pulling the pair off the top and shoving them down the side of your basket.

Bucky chuckled again. Knowing he was embarrassing you.

The elevator stopped, and you both stepped off into the basement, heading down the long hall to the laundry room.

"You must've done something to make Tony mad if he put your room so far from the laundry."

"I'm fully convinced he just likes to cause me problems. He probably has FRIDAY watching me on the cameras. I do not doubt one bit that he laughs at me hauling this downstairs twice a month."

Bucky laughed at your statement.

You smiled back at him. You don't see him smile much. It was a good change.

You turn the corner with Bucky. You could see the laundry room door at the end of the hall now. The two of you walk silently until you reach the door. You open it, and Bucky walks in in front of you and places your basket full of clothes down in front of one of the washers.

"Thanks for helping me. Would've taken me twice as long to get down here if I was by myself."

"It's no problem. It's always fun to show off my strength to a pretty lady."

"Oh so I'm a pretty lady?" you teased

Bucky blushed.

You smirked, and opened the washing machine lid. You began loading your clothes in. Bucky stood near you, leaning on the dryer right beside.

"You don't have to wait down here with me," you told him

"I figured I'd just wait and walk back upstairs with you."

"It's really ok, Buck. I usually just hang out down here until my loads are done. It's only a 30 minute cycle."

"Well maybe I'll just hang out down here with you…" Bucky said, as if he was waiting for your permission.

"Sure, I guess. If you really want to."

You filled up one machine, and threw the detergent in, shutting the lid. You moved over to another machine and began putting in a second load.

You heard Bucky chuckling, and turned around to look at him.

"What?" you questioned

"You have so many clothes that you have to use two washing machines." He said, shaking his head.

You rolled your eyes, "Whatever Barnes. It's because unlike you, I don't wear the same Henley's and jeans every day."

"No, you wear different coloured thongs every day." he teased

You finished placing all the laundry in the machine, and left your basket on the floor.

You walked back toward where Bucky was standing and jumped up onto one of the empty machines, sitting on the lid.

"You really just sit down here on top of a dryer waiting by yourself? You know there's a table and chairs right there." Bucky said

"Usually, yeah. Sometimes I bring a book down, but it's nice and quiet down here…" you started

"Well, usually I'll sit on top of one of the washing machines that I'm using, and not the empty dryer," you added, knowing exactly what you were insinuating.

Bucky's eyes shot up to you. "What?" he asked, thinking he hadn't heard you right.

"You heard me." you confirmed

"Well, alright. So why aren't you sitting on one of those today?"

"Well, usually only something I do while I'm down here alone."

"Don't be shy, doll."

Something about the way Bucky said doll, made you squirm. You hesitated for a second before you got off the dryer, and walked toward the machine that you had just turned on, climbing on top of it. You sat, letting your legs hang over the edge, eyes on Bucky.

The vibrations from the machine were shooting through you, pulsating right to your center. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling. You could hear Bucky walking closer, he lightly spread your legs and stood in between them. You opened your eyes. Bucky's face was inches from yours. He leaned in closer, taking either side of your face in his hands. You expected his metal hand to be cold against your face, but it was almost as warm as his other.

He looked you in the eyes, before bringing your face towards his, pressing a sloppy kiss against your mouth (ok but think Endings, Beginnings kiss - his character with Shailene Woodly). You leaned into the kiss, opening your mouth more, allowing him to slide his tongue inside. You wrapped your legs around his back, pulling him as close to you as you possibly could. The vibrations from the machine, still sending pulses right to your core.

You could already feel yourself getting more wet by the second. Bucky's mouth on yours mixed with the feeling of the machine below you. You needed more. You ran your hands down Bucky's body, reaching underneath his shirt to feel his skin. Bucky ran his hands over you, one of his fingers grazing against you hard nipple poking through your shirt. You moaned into his kiss.

Bucky slid his hands under your shirt and began lifting it. You raised your arms over your head, allowing him to take your shirt off. You broke your kiss as he lifted your shirt over your head. He stared at your bare chest as he threw your shirt to the side. You pulled him close, shoving your lips back against his.

His hands roamed your bare back, holding you tight against him. He began kissing down your neck, toward your chest. You leaned back on your hands, allowing him easier access to your hard nipples.

You moaned, and allowed your head to fall back as he swirled his tongue around your breast. His hands fumbled with the buttons on your jeans, undoing the zipper. He pulled away, and urged you to lift up your bottom so he could rip your jeans from your legs.

He tossed them aside, and looked at you sitting in only your underwear. He smirked, seeing how wet they were.

"Granny panties?" he questioned

"Shut up, all my good pairs are in the laundry." you said, taking your panties off yourself, leaving you completely exposed. He stood, looking at you, enjoying the sight. You looked down and saw his cock fighting against the zipper of his jeans.

Bucky groaned before touching you.

"Lie down," he ordered, placing one hand on your chest, getting you to lie your back completely flat on the machine.

You twitched as your bare back hit the cold metal of the washer, before settling in.

You looked down at Bucky, just as he was bending over placing a long lick against your slit. You moaned loudly, not expecting him to do that. He looked up at you as he placed another lick, taking in your wetness.

He saw the look of ecstasy on your face and took it as a sign to keep going. He dove into your pussy, face first. You gasped, and arched your back, only pressing your wetness deeper into Bucky's face. Bucky teased you, leaving small, gentle strokes along your clit.

You wrapped your legs tight around his head, "stop teasing me," you begged

You could feel him smirk, "anything for you, doll."

Bucky began pressing his tongue harder against your clit. Moving it up, down, and in circles. You moaned loudly, your grip tightening on his hair.

The vibrations from the machine and his tongue on you were too much. You began thrusting up against his face. You wanted nothing more than him inside of you.

"Buck, please." you moaned

Bucky brought one of his hands up toward your breast. He kneaded it in his hand as his tongue dove around your pussy. He flicked your hard nipple between his fingers. You cried out in pleasure. You could feel your orgasm building.

"Don't stop, i'm so close," you whined out

Bucky didn't stop. He continued sucking on your clit until you could feel your walls come crashing down. You pulled on his har, and tighten your legs around his head as he continued through your orgasm.

When you finally calmed down, you slowly let your grip on him go. You were panting, lying back on the still vibrating washing machine, staring at the ceiling, taking in that feeling of ecstasy.

Bucky stood up and stared at you. He loved the sight of you. You were panting, cheeks red, a total mess. All for him.

Bucky looked around, thinking of how and where he was going to fuck you. He eyed the table.

"Get up, doll." he told you

You sat up, breathless, "Why,"

"Machine's too tall, beautiful. Can't fuck you up there."

Just hearing Bucky say that made your pussy twitch. He placed either hand on your hips and helped you down. You stood, leaning against the washing machine as Bucky began undressing in front of you.

He tossed his shirt to the side, and began taking his pants down. He stood in front of you in only his underwear.

"Take them off," you begged

Bucky gave you a smug look before pulling them down as well.

You moaned, just at the sight of him. You hadn't realized that the supersoldier serum would affect that part of him as well.

You moved toward him, taking his huge cock in your hand. You ran your finger over his tip, precum already leaking out

"Fuck," he muttered

"That's the idea," you said.

Bucky gripped your hips tight, shoving you toward the table in the corner of the room. He lifted you up and sat you down on the edge.

"Lean back, so I can shove my dick in you." he ordered

You obeyed. Lying flat on the table, bringing your heels up so they were resting on the table as well. You kept your eyes on Bucky, he traced his finger up and down between your folds. You twitched at the smallest touch.

"Please," you whined

Bucky grinned at you, before taking his cock in his hand, and lightly brushing it up against you.

Bucky lined himself up with your entrance, and slowly slid inside. You cried out in pleasure the deeper he got. You felt so tight with his massive cock. You watched Bucky push the rest of himself in. He shot his head back, mouth open, moaning loudly.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he said breathlessly

You both stayed still, taking in the feeling of Bucky stretching you out. He pulled you closer to him, taking either of your legs and putting them over his shoulders. When he pulled you tight against him, you could feel him get even deeper inside of you.

Bucky slowly began to rock in and out of you. The feeling overwhelming. You couldn't hold in your moans. Never had it felt so good to have someone so close and so deep inside of you.

You shot your hand down to your clit, moving it slowly between your fingers as Bucky began to pick up his pace. You already knew it wasn't going to take much for you to come again, especially with how Bucky was moving in and out of you.

Bucky slowed his pace, sliding out of you, and then pushing back in hard. You circled your clit harder as he continued thrusting in and out.

He pushed in, and you moaned hard, arching your back.

"Right there, don't stop." you said

Bucky kept his pace, thrusting in and out. He knew you were close to coming again.

"Such a good girl," he said to you

Hearing Bucky call you that was enough. You circled your clit twice more before your walls came crashing down. Your other hand gripped the side of the table.

"Oh my god,"

Your pussy twitched around his dick, but he didn't stop moving. He continued fucking you through your orgasm.

You groaned, knowing if he kept going like this another orgasm wouldn't be far behind. Both your arms were spread, gripping different ends of the table. Bucky brought his hand down to your clit. Running his thumb over it, over, and over, and over again.

Bucky rocked his hips into you, thrusting hard and fast. You moaned every time you felt him hit deep inside of you, his thumb still running over your clit. Your walls clenched against his dick once more. That was exactly what he needed. Bucky threw his head back, pulling himself out of you, spurting his come all over your stomach.

Bucky stood in front of you, letting your legs fall from his shoulders. you were still lying back on the table. Both of you stayed silent, trying to catch your breath.

The washing machine began to sing.

"Guess you got three loads done today," Bucky joked, cracking a small grin, looking down at you.

"Oh my god." you said, rolling your eyes at his awful joke.

Bucky held out his hand to you, offering to help you off the table. You grabbed his hand, and stood up. Your faces were only a few inches from each other.

"We should probably clean you up," Bucky said, not taking his eyes off of you.

You sighed, as Bucky turned away to grab you a towel from across the room.

You cleaned yourself off, and you both got dressed again. Bucky stayed with you as you switched your laundry from the washing machines into the dryers, 100% eyeing your ass as you bent over.

"Ever sit on top of the dryer?" Bucky joked.

"Too hot," you answered, laughing slightly.

You walked toward Bucky, he was sitting in one of the chairs at the table. He grabbed your hand pulling you close to him. You sat down on his lap, and he gripped your face with one of his hands, placing a long kiss on your lips.

"Maybe I should start helping you with your laundry every week," he stated

"Every other week," you corrected.

"No, darling. Every week."

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