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#it's just that it's objectively bad at all levels and is especially bad at the very niche it has carved out for itself
random2908 · 10 months
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I started by telling myself I shouldn't feel bad that I didn't get all my planned chores done: Saturday is a rest day, and we've just finished three weeks of crunch at work. (Next week might also be crunch but probably not; the product ships at the end of the week but we should be in good enough shape already.)
But then I realized: I ran three errands in the morning, and did three chores in the evening--even if one of the chores was just "cook a healthy dinner" and two of the chores were banking-related on a website. (But one involved sending text messages, and one involved an actual phone call to customer service, so I can't even really say they were just on a website.) That's six things I got done on a rest day. I may have overscheduled by saying I'd do at least eight things, but still, six things is very good.
#the things I did NOT do all involve a hand drill so#I have about average upper body strength for a woman which means I do struggle somewhat with hand drills#although these chores all involve walls not metal so it's not THAT bad--except it's sideways rather than down so I can't lean into it#so yeah that's a level of chores I was not up to on my rest day#tomorrow is too booked up for chores--I told my friend I wanted to hang out with them this weekend#since I said no two weeks ago (I was fully booked) and they had to cancel on me last weekend#and normally we meet in the middle for hiking (we live 1.5 hours apart) but this time they suggested I drive all the way out#and I said yes before I realized that's what they were suggesting#so that's fine--but I can't do anything else beyond that tomorrow even just basic chores#which is a little bit getting to me because a house guest is coming to visit in four days#and I really need the shower curtain to be properly secured to the wall by then?#anything else is gravy--I already have clean sheets for her and everything--but THAT needs to be done#I've been living here almost two months and have only knocked the shower curtain down about three times so it's really not that bad#I even hang my towels on it and it's fine BUT I know how to do it? and I'm like professionally good at manipulating physical objects lol#like being a mechanic of sorts is literally a significant chunk of my job#whereas she doesn't pick up object-manipulation tasks easily--especially not involving gross motor skills#in fact when I mentioned it to her she was like yeah that was something she was not going to be able to handle#if I didn't have it properly installed by the time she arrived#so uh... well not today or tomorrow#and Monday and Tuesday I have work... and she's arriving Wednesday#ok realistically tomorrow night I'm just going to have to suck it up and get to drilling no matter how tired I am from driving and hiking
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upsidedowneggo · 2 years
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PROTECT MIKE WHEELER! ✊✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
so true my dude. Hope he shows up in season 4 at some point cos he hasn't been here yet. There's a dude who looks like him but he doesn't have any of his like, personality or characteristics or energy or like any of the previously established character development associated with Mike, so like if Michael Wheeler could show up at some point that'd be swell.
#stranger things#st4#mike wheeler#LOOK i did like the season i thought the storytelling was great#but i think the characterisation really suffered for the sake of plot#also like the hawkins gang is immaculate but the cali gang is a hot mess#i understand why the hawkins gang are doin the things theyre doin and theyre compelling and interesting#cali gang is nothing#this love triangle shit is so stupid#like yall want byler so bad but i think your overlooking that it requires will to steal his sisters boyfriend???#like its a mess and also like objectively the most boring possible plot for any of these characters#mike will and el are some of the more compelling characters on the show who have experienced the most trauma and upheaval#and i think this teamup could have been really interesting from the perspective of mike's anxiety over percieving himself as the caregiver#to el and will and too a degree i think they see him that way as well but hes also just a kid and he cant be there for everyone all the tim#like if he looks out for everyone who looks out for him#especially cos weve had seasons worth of content regarding will and el's trauma but we've never explored that with mike#but instead of doing any of that were doing more surface level relationship bullshit that we've already done#like i lowkey think this season broke will and mike as characters a bit like when you get to a point where they watch a man die and then#bury the body and they have no significant reaction to that YOUVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG#like how is that not an extremely traumatic event?? but no we just move past it i guess??
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byoldervine · 18 days
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Types Of Writer’s Block (And How To Fix Them)
1. High inspiration, low motivation. You have so many ideas to write, but you just don’t have the motivation to actually get them down, and even if you can make yourself start writing it you’ll often find yourself getting distracted or disengaged in favour of imagining everything playing out
Try just bullet pointing the ideas you have instead of writing them properly, especially if you won’t remember it afterwards if you don’t. At least you’ll have the ideas ready to use when you have the motivation later on
2. Low inspiration, high motivation. You’re all prepared, you’re so pumped to write, you open your document aaaaand… three hours later, that cursor is still blinking at the top of a blank page
RIP pantsers but this is where plotting wins out; refer back to your plans and figure out where to go from here. You can also use your bullet points from the last point if this is applicable
3. No inspiration, no motivation. You don’t have any ideas, you don’t feel like writing, all in all everything is just sucky when you think about it
Make a deal with yourself; usually when I’m feeling this way I can tell myself “Okay, just write anyway for ten minutes and after that, if you really want to stop, you can stop” and then once my ten minutes is up I’ve often found my flow. Just remember that, if you still don’t want to keep writing after your ten minutes is up, don’t keep writing anyway and break your deal - it’ll be harder to make deals with yourself in future if your brain knows you don’t honour them
4. Can’t bridge the gap. When you’re stuck on this one sentence/paragraph that you just don’t know how to progress through. Until you figure it out, productivity has slowed to a halt
Mark it up, bullet point what you want to happen here, then move on. A lot of people don’t know how to keep writing after skipping a part because they don’t know exactly what happened to lead up to this moment - but you have a general idea just like you do for everything else you’re writing, and that’s enough. Just keep it generic and know you can go back to edit later, at the same time as when you’re filling in the blank. It’ll give editing you a clear purpose, if nothing else
5. Perfectionism and self-doubt. You don’t think your writing is perfect first time, so you struggle to accept that it’s anything better than a total failure. Whether or not you’re aware of the fact that this is an unrealistic standard makes no difference
Perfection is stagnant. If you write the perfect story, which would require you to turn a good story into something objective rather than subjective, then after that you’d never write again, because nothing will ever meet that standard again. That or you would only ever write the same kind of stories over and over, never growing or developing as a writer. If you’re looking back on your writing and saying “This is so bad, I hate it”, that’s generally a good thing; it means you’ve grown and improved. Maybe your current writing isn’t bad, if just matched your skill level at the time, and since then you’re able to maintain a higher standard since you’ve learned more about your craft as time went on
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alienzil · 6 months
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DP x DC Prompt/notion # 4
So Danny has the classic reveal gone bad scenario and the Fentons try to capture him to "tear him apart molecule by molecule".
Danny escapes into the ghost zone with the help of Sam, Tucker and Jazz but he's in bad shape.
What Danny had never been told is that newly formed ghosts like himself are considered babies until they're at least a century old. Baby ghosts generally either have parents if they're born in the realms or get adoptive parents shortly after forming and are highly dependent on their guardians until their core is fully matured. Every ghost can sense a baby and has the instinctual urge to protect them (especially if they haven't been adopted yet). Every baby ghost has the instinctual urge to find a compatible parent or parents. A baby won't imprint on just anyone and will hide or run from most ghosts until they find one that they can imprint on. The majority of the ghosts that have met Danny never knew he was a baby, both because he already had his living parents and his emotional connection with them was close enough to satisfy his ghostly need for a parental bond and because, with his abnormally high power level, it never would have occurred to them to think he might be an infant. A newborn ancient is exceptionally rare and your average denizen of the realms will have never seen one. Basically, to your average ghost, Danny feels like he's eons old and any hint of "baby" they get from him mostly just ticks them off because they think he's mocking them and pretending to be less powerful than they know he is. The other ancients knew of course, but they also knew that Danny's human guardians were satisfying his needs for now and most assumed he would be adopted once they passed. Half a century or so isn't very long to wait after all and the new baby is half human so it's probably best to let these things happen naturally.
Knowing none of this, when Jack and Maddie rejected Danny it severed their connection and the backlash of losing that bond caused his Phantom self to naturally revert to a smaller form that more closely matched his actual age as a ghost. Still in shock and operating almost entirely on instinct and emotion, Danny started to search the Realms for what he had lost. He needed to find his parents.
*****
Meanwhile, John Constantine had a problem with an upstart cult that had summoned an interdimensional...something. He really didn't care. Whatever it was, was behind a barrier they'd thrown up that he couldn't breach. He'd be perfectly willing to leave them to their own mess except their whole damn town was behind the barrier so now it was his problem to fix.
Interdimensional problems call for interdimensional solutions so he'd called Bob. Bob wasn't really his name (nor was he really a he) but he hadn't objected to the moniker or the pronouns John had given him so Bob it was. Bob was an eldritch nightmare of a creature who kept the bulk of his true form politely out of this dimension and only just barely inched in for a quick visit every 20 years or so. Constantine had worked with him before, he was a pretty nice bloke for an unknowable monstrosity.
Bob fed on energy and his usual diet consisted largely of the background energy of the cosmos but he liked a special treat now and then (who doesn't?). So John made a deal with him. Bob took care of his little cult problem and John spent a very... ahem... "energetic" evening with Bob in exchange. Not really a hardship on John's part, Bob wanted more energy, not less, and knew a thing or two about how to get it.
*****
The creature known as Bob was preparing to withdraw the small portion of his presence that was currently on Earth with the human called John Constantine when another part of him noticed something. Bob smiled to himself (as much as Bob could smile that is). What a wonderful coincidence that the Constantine human's energy would be so perfectly matched to this other beings and that Bob was here at the exact right moment to assist with their meeting!
"I thank you again for sharing your energy John Constantine. It was delicious as always."
"Don't mention it mate. Look me up next you're in town and feeling a bit peckish. Always happy to oblige." John replied with a smirk.
"I will heed your words John Constantine and seek your presence upon my return. As a token of my affection for you, a small gift that you might enjoy until we meet again." Bob briefly opened a portal between the Infinite Realms and the House of Mystery as he left. He hoped his human friend would enjoy the gift. Bob had never spawned himself but he'd heard parenthood was one of life's great joys.
"Gift?" John had just enough time to say as he was hit in the face by a chirping, wriggling, excited creature.
"Oi!" John stumbled back a step as he reached up to try and pry the thing off his face. He managed to grab ahold of the damn beast and held it out at an arms length to get a look at it. Deprived of his face, it wrapped its body tightly around his arm and nuzzled its head into the palm of his hand.
John stared at the creature. It was the roughly the length of his arm, mostly black with white markings and white floating hair on a human shaped head and face, complete with glowing green eyes. It was vaguely snake shaped...or... one might say...tentacle shaped...
John gulped and pictured Bob. Bob's appearance, or what little bit of his appearance John was able to perceive, was a writhing mass of black tentacles that glowed a bright, luminous green.
So, the "gift" Bob had left him mostly had Bob's coloring and was kinda Bob shaped. Except it had small human arms and hands and a tiny mostly human head and face and... was that his nose?!
"Oh bollocks, I'm a dad!"
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landoom · 1 month
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My thoughts on the Williams drama...
Williams fucked up by not having a 3rd chassis available but that proves that the team is struggling even more than we thought.
Alex fucked up with his crash...
I wonder if they had previously discussed or thought about what to do in case one of the chassis was damaged.
The decision of having Alex take Logan's chassis is unfair. We know it and Williams know it too!
Still, it makes sense in a more objective and "cold" point of view. Alex is more experienced and consistently better than Logan. With the chaos that the race could be, there might be points to gain and Williams decided to take their best chance at that.
It's bad for Logan at a human level because we all know he sometimes lacks a bit of confidence and needs to drive the car as much as possible.
It's not that good for Alex neither because he has even more pressure to deliver!
It's not good for the dynamic in the team, of course.
Still, for those wanting to stop supporting Williams or thinking they "lied" to us about the gentle parenting dynamic they showed in the media, I'm sorry but you were a bit naive! Whatever a team may show, at the end of the day, it's the money that counts! (see next point). Does that mean everything was a lie? No! Just that there are priorities to follow!
For those thinking it's not "battling for the championship", it is! Everything is very close between all the teams at the moment. Of course, it's too early to tell how the season will pan out and how the teams will perform on the long run but 1 or 2 points grabbed here could make a difference at the end! And ending the championship one place higher means a lot more money for the team! Williams needs the money!
Is it bad for Logan's carreer? It's not good as it's a missed opportunity to show what he's worth. But it might not matters. There are 21 races left after this one. Plenty of time for Logan to prove himself! Of course, he's loosing track time but he can still do good later!
Is it a proof Williams don't plan to keep Logan? Probably but objectively, I don't think it changes anything! Logan's seat for next year was at risk before. Especially with all the movements going around!
Is it a move to keep Alex next year? I'm pretty sure it is! Alex is courted by many teams and even if he says he wants to keep working with Williams, showing him he's their #1 driver might play a part in Alex's decision!
In the end, it's a messed up situation... It's not a good one nor for Logan nor for Alex nor for the team. Is this the right decision? We can't say now and, to be honest, we probably will never know!
I won't stop supporting Logan, Alex, James, Williams, because of this! Because I've been watching F1 for so long, I'm not disappointed anymore when I realise that this sport is about money first and foremost. I'm sorry if you're discovering that today :-(
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my-autism-adhd-blog · 9 months
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Hi there! First of all I just discovered your blog and it helped me understand a lot about autism. I was recently diagnosed and I had maaany questions, and going through your blog gave me some answers. So thank you so much for your dedication! ✨
I was wondering if you could share some stuff about burnouts? I saw the post of the signs of burnouts, but I was wondering if you had information about what are the common causes or how to deal with them?
Have a great day/night!
Hi there,
I found some information in burnout recovery and causes:
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Signs
* Lack of motivation (hard to care about goals when everyday life is overwhelming)
* Loss of executive functioning abilities (decision-making, organization, etc.)
* Difficulty with self-care
* Easier to reach overload or meltdown
* Loss of speech, selective mutism
* Lethargy, exhaustion
* Illness, digestive issues
* Memory loss
* Inability to maintain masks or use social skills
* Overall seeming "more autistic" or stereotypical
* May have period of high energy before collapse
causes
* Passing as neurotypical / suppressing autistic traits
* Doing 'too much', too much stress
* Aging: needing more downtime, having less energy
* Changes, good or bad (relationships, jobs, living arrangements, belongings, environment, routines...)
* Sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, dehydration
* Illness
* Sensory or emotional overload
strategies
* Time
* Scheduling breaks, managing spoons
* Leave of absence
* Stimming, sensory diet
* Exercise
* Reassured and supports
* Routines
* Better environment/job/etc.
* Boundaries, saying 'no'
* Dropping the mask/façade
* Solitude
* Absolute quiet
* Creative projects, passions, special interests
* Paying attention to reactions and your body
Here’s another Infograph I found:
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Sleep and rest as much as you can. We often need more sleep than allistics and it is especially crucial to meet our need for extra sleep while in burnout.
Reduce your energy expenditure. Within reason, reduce social time and the amount of information you are taking in on a daily basis. This often means saying no, even to things you think you
"want" to do. (ex. re-watch TV rather than start new shows)
Engage in special interests at a comfortable and sustainable level. Rather than doing in-depth research, try decorating your space with posters or objects related to your special interests or watching a TV show related to one of them.
Focus on your hypersensitivities. Use earplugs/ headphones/sunglasses, use dishwashing gloves and a mask while cleaning, wear comfortable clothes, eat safe foods, leave spaces that are too bright, loud, or fragrant.
Stim!! MOVEMENT: dance, rock, tap, flap, stretch, walk, stim toys.
TOUCH: soft fabric, self-massage, play with hair. VISUAL: watch
TV/ movie, kaleidoscope, coloring book, satisfying videos
AUDIO/VOICE music, singing, echolalia. REPETATION/SORTING: solitaire, puzzles, sorting objects, repetitive doodles, counting.
VERY slowly create systers/routines that automate your care needs and implement them very slowly. This can look like visual aids, timers, lists, bullet journols, weekly routines, Expect if to take time and trial and error to get into these habits. Pick I-2 habits or systems to implement at a time, starting with the ones you're most excifed about.
Autistic burnout and Complex PTSD have a lot in common and executive dysfunction often increases during burnout, so resources made for these can be very helpful.
Burnout Recovery
I hope this helps. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️
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DROP YOUR DX FOR VOX !!!!! Please and thank you.
I would like to preface all my posts on headcanons related to psychology and mental illness with a disclaimer: diagnosing mental conditions, especially personality disorders, can be extremely challenging. It's a complicated process that relies heavily on a psychologist's interpretation of facts, making it susceptible to biases. Personality disorders cannot be diagnosed based on surface-level observations and are not just labels that we can assign to people like in the case of MBTI. Additionally, I am not a clinician with any expertise in diagnosing people. Therefore, the following post should not be taken as a reliable professional opinion. It's simply my interpretation of the internal mechanisms that may be responsible for the behavior of certain characters in my fan fiction. Furthermore, I want to make it clear that I have no intention of stigmatizing people with personality disorders by associating them with villains. A personality disorder does not determine someone's character or make them a bad person. Some characters may be evil because of the choices they make, not as a result of their mental conditions.
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(I've already posted some stuff here so I'm not going to repeat myself.)
Okay, so, Vox has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It's crucial to distinguish this from "common narcissism" (people often described as "narcissists" by others just because they are egotist assholes; kinda ableist, you shouldn't do it because it's extremely stigmatizing towards people suffering with actual NPD) . While those individuals typically function well, those with NPD exhibit all the traits – grandiosity, egocentrism, attention-seeking, intense power fantasies – but as it's a disorder, these traits lead to inflexible and maladaptive patterns of behavior and cognition.
NPD has its roots in intense feelings of shame, low self-compassion, and self-loathing. In my interpretation, Vox has always felt inadequate. His father inherited an enormous amount of money, establishing a media conglomerate in the 20's. Vox's mother, captivated by the world of movies, used them to escape her reality as a trophy wife. Despite her dreams of becoming an actress, Vox's father, possessive and protective, prevented her entry into the entertainment industry. As a compromise, he made their son a child actor, with the condition that it would be temporary. When Vox grew older, he was expected to transition to learning business and other skills, ultimately to take over the family's empire.
So, Vox was never enough for either of his parents. His father thought of him as annoying and unserious due to his talkativeness and exaggerated behaviors, attributing it to growing up surrounded by actors. As for his mother... Vox turned out to be a terrible actor, struggling to convey emotions that weren't bombastic and over-the-top. Being a teenager is humiliating enough, but imagine being a teenager bad at something and forced to do it for a worldwide audience, when the whole production crew is annoyed with you. Fortunately, he grew up to be devilishly handsome (not to be a simp, I just believe someone must be handsome to endure the ethereal punishment of having their face swapped for a TV screen) and entertaining, leading them to make him a TV host and media personality.
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Anyway, NPD is all about creating a perfect self and projecting it to the world when you're deeply ashamed of your true self. It means that, no matter what you're doing, you're constantly concerned about how it looks to other people. You constantly play an exhausting game, trying to win gold stars of social admiration for every-fucking-thing, guided by superficial ideals of wealth, perfection, beauty, and, above all, power. One reason Alastor's existence bothers Vox so much is the fact that he cannot comprehend the idea of someone choosing radio over his "objectively better and correct" medium. Vox lacks the ability to understand nuanced sentiments, which ironically makes him thrive in Hell. In this anarchocapitalist, lawless society, survival of the fittest prevails, and this is a game he excels at playing.
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Generally, the best approach for individuals with NPD is to pull them out of delusional thinking by confronting their beliefs about the world and themselves with reality (it should be performed by qualified therapist, especially when someone hasn't completed any kind of therapeutic process yet). However, in Hell, Vox's behavior was no longer in violation of social norms; on the contrary, it was highly rewarded. Consequently, he completely lost his shit, became unhinged, and began acting on all his previously suppressed urges. He finally fulfilled all narcissistic power fantasies and became (almost) untouchable. Now, he's ready to kill anyone who questions him, seeing it as threatening to his fragile image of the perfect self.
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He exhibits strong bipolar tendencies. Most of the time, he's power-tripping in a semi-maniacal state. Periodically, he undergoes deep, depressive episodes, locking himself up in his apartment and avoiding interaction.
Constantly guarding this fragile image of the perfect self that he built is exhausting. The bigger this image gets, the more fragile it becomes, like a house of cards. And guarding it becomes more and more exhausting. But there's nothing scarier than the idea of the facade falling apart and people seeing him as he is: imperfect and vulnerable, damaged and ashamed, rotten and evil. Deep down, he knows he's unlovable, and it hurts. He knows that true love exists; he craves this ultimate form of admiration and devotion, but it requires vulnerability and honesty, which he's not capable of. He's only vulnerable with Valentino, and only occasionally when he's intoxicated or when Val fucks every last thought out of his body. He's very much a controlling top insecure about his masculinity, so the latter happens rarely.
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Also, drugs. Oh, do this man enjoy some coke. Other drugs and booze, not so much; they make him feel less in control. But getting coked up, going out, causing a scene, killing some poor souls, and relishing this feeling of being completely untouchable? Feels so good.
When it comes to Alastor, he hates him because he's jealous. Despite all his efforts—building a perfect persona, a perfect company, perfect entertainment—this stinky, outdated, and boring radio demon gets so much attention and admiration that should be his. Moreover, he feels that Alastor can see right through his bullshit. He's so paranoid about it that he's almost certain Alastor knows about his childhood traumas, about his death, about all his truths, and could one day broadcast it for all people of Hell to hear. So, he needs him dead.
Note: these headcanons (especially Vox's past) are very important part of my fanfiction. Please feel free to use them in your fics but I'll appreciate if you tag me 🩷
Velvette hc | Valentino hc | Vees + Angel hc | VoxVal hc
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spongek-squidge · 1 month
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My Headcannons for which bachelor(ette) is the most intimidating on first meeting
90% self indulgent headcanons 10% canon, let me have my fun~
#1 Shane
We all expected this one
Gruff old alcoholic man is not a very trustworthy or comforting persona
Also he’s rude when first meeting people so that doesn’t helps
Only reason he doesn’t completely scare people off is cause he’s baby faced (this fact annoys him greatly)
#2 Sebastian
Emo boy who lives in his mums basement, smokes and owns a motorcycle?
He’s literally the kid everyone’s parents told them to avoid
No matter if you love that bad boy persona or not there’s still that intimidation around it, ya gotta admit!
#3 Haley
She’s very mean
Literally comes off as everyone’s Highschool bully when you first meet her
She’s also just intimidatingly pretty on top of that so…
Pretty much a tie with Sebastian tho, I only put her lower because pritty gurl
#4 Alex
He a buff mysoginstic boi!
He’s like chill when you meet him but the bias leaks off him like the sweat when he’s exercising in his bedroom
Literally just a highschool jock, you move into town and think Haley and Alex are gonna be the biggest asshat powercouple
In reality they’re just some confused queers with dual mummy and daddy issues
#5 Abigail
Goth gfs are inherently a bit intimidating ngl
Also she just has a lot of energy and an urge to fight, that’s a fairly intimating combination-
Also if she could drive a car she would have biggest road rage, she got those vibes about her
#6 Harvey
Okokok hear me out
Ik he’s a big sad wholesome man but he’s also a doctor and anyone who sticks with the education system that long is a bit intimidating ngl
Also he’s a very tall boi and if you combine that with my head canon of him being dad-shaped it can give off an unintentionally intimidating aura!
Also people just don’t like going to the doctors so that won’t help
#7 Leah
She works out and it shows
It’s hot af but also a bit intimidating ngl
But she’s too chill for that to put her further up the list so here she be!
#8 Elliott
He uses big person words that I don’t understand
Big people words intimidate me
Words are powerful
But also I could easily beat him in a fight so he’s lower down than Leah
#9 Maru
One of her favourite objects is radioactive ingots
Need I say more?
Most of her intimidation comes from Demetrius being an overprotective cockblock tho, so it’s not as much her as her father
#10 Emily
She gives off chill aunt/cousin vibes
However she is also high as a kite 24/7 and that level of zoned out can be a bit freaky, especially when she zones out staring at you
She’s fine tho, would never take drugs that make her act up in a negative way
#11 Sam
He is a golden retriever and you can tell from the second you meet him
Big smile constantly and no thoughts behind those eyes
Only intimidation he could ever possibly have is the skater boy stereotypes, but other then that he’s got no negative vibes whatsoever
#12 Penny
I’m sure we all saw this coming, but she’s really not intimidating at all
She’s a shy woman that just wants to teach kids and read her romance novels and I love that for her
If she needed to intimidate someone she’d have to summon her mum to do it for her, no chance she’s scaring anyone herself
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sampegger · 4 months
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certain deangirls just frustrate me so bad. like. the ones who insist with their entire chest that dean loves sam more than sam loves him. even just talking early seasons. to see sam leaving for stanford as a betrayal to dean and proof that he loves him less is so. him leaving for college wasn't about dean. it was about wanting something better for himself than what hunting had to offer. him being able to want something more for himself than what he had with dean and john is not a betrayal. to claim that sams ability to endure misery is directly correlated with how much he loves someone is cruel and a terrible perspective to have on any relationship.
and in season 4, to claim that he chose a demon over his own brother while in the midst of having an active addiction problem, and to take that and make it about his loyalty to DEAN is so. that is so biased and evil. you should not see sams violation of his own autonomy as a betrayal to dean. i know the show likes to think they do in the later seasons but the choices sam makes do not all have to center around dean, and that still doesn't mean he loves him any less! viewing it through that type of lens will certainly make it look like he does, but that is objectively the wrong way to interpret any of sams arcs.
when it comes to season 8 i'll say a lot of the same stuff i said about sam leaving for stanford in the first place. while yes i do think him not looking for dean was slightly out of character, it is still unbelievably cruel to think of sams ability to endure pain and claim it marks the level of which he loves someone. especially when he takes on the trials this season, and the entire narrative thrown on sam is his newfound notion that pain purges sin. to have that level of misery thrown in your face (these trials are purifying me) and still insist that if sam is actively fighting against something that is making him miserable (staying in hunting) it's proof he never loved dean that much anyways is awful!!! and that whole "non-agreement" line in which bobby says that he and dean promising not to look for each other was just something that was said and it should've been obvious he was meant to look for dean. don't even get me started.
season 9 is the last season that i think people use as evidence for this. sams claim that he "wouldn't do the same thing for dean." and really. i guess i don't expect dean letting gadreel possess sam to be seen in any other light at this point. sam said he wouldn't have done the same thing for dean because he literally wouldn't have!!! there is nothing that can properly convey the absolute level of violation that that was, especially when sams entire storyline is about his struggle for autonomy. it was a selfish decision on deans end, as is most of the way that he loves sam. it is just so frustrating to see this arcs that revolve specifically around sam turned into evidence of how much he does or doesn't love dean, because that is literally the opposite of what they're about.
i could move onto later seasons as well and talk about how dean is outwardly abusive in them, but that would just be dean slander and that's not what i'm trying to do. the entire point of this post is that tying all of sams decisions to how much he loves dean is wrong and you fundamentally miss the entire point of sam as a character if you view the story through that lens.
sam's ability to endure misery is not directly correlated with his ability to love.
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chuplayswithfire · 2 years
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So like, fandom has a racism problem, yeah. That's not a surprise. Fandom's just a microcosm of the rest of society, and society's got a racism problem. But the more I look across content, the more I've started to realize people don't seem to understand why racism is.... a problem.
And that makes it harder for people to see racism, when they don't really... understand why and how it's a problem. I've been thinking about this for the last day, and so I'm making this post today because I finally had a chance to sit and put my thoughts together in a way that I hope will make sense.
Because here's the thing. I've been getting... more and more the idea that people think racism is a problem because it makes people feel bad. That Jim stabbed that British officer because calling Frenchie a slave was an insult that hurt Frenchie's feelings. That Ed had the French captain skinned and thrown overboard because calling Ed a donkey hurt his feelings. That the ship full of aristocrats were jerks because they hurt Ed's feelings.
And like. Yeah, I mean, on a very surface level, their feelings were hurt, sure, those were shit things to experience. But it's not about their feelings, first and foremost. Racism isn't about making people feel bad. Those things weren't bad just because they were especially shit insults.
Racism is about making structural oppression. It's about making people less - not making them feel less, but legally, socially, morally, literally, less than. It's about establishing "this is a person, and that is not a person". It's about society wide depersonalization. And in the context of OFMD especially, it's about whiteness and colonization, and the way that racism is the socially created and legally enforced system through which whiteness decides who counts and who doesn't. Who is a person and who is a thing.
Slaves and donkeys? These are things. These are items to be bought and traded and sold and put down and compensated for the loss. They are not people with rights and freedoms and protections, they are line items on someone's accounting sheet, objects with monetary value pre-determined and understood.
Frenchie isn't called a slave because that British officer (yeah, I'm not learning his name, not sorry) felt like being an ass or wanted to make him feel bad. He called Frenchie a slave because he was furious that some thing, some object, some less than creature, was speaking to him as if they could have even the faintest hope of being on the same playing field, let alone equally human. He was declaring Frenchie an object and a tool that should be silent unless spoken to.
That's why Jim throws that knife at him. That's why Jim is pissed enough to blow their cover even with a fuck-off huge warship right next to them.
Because everyone on the ship knows exactly what being a slave would make Frenchie. And Jim especially has reason to be aware of and sensitive to that, given that Jim is in love with a Black man who's already been being demeaned, dismissed, and disdained through this whole encounter.
Those British officers get their shit wrecked because they're declaring people the crew loves to be less than they are, less than human, reminding them all that in the world outside of piracy Frenchie, Oluwande, and Roach aren't people but property. Objects. And that shit's not fucking acceptable.
This logic directly follows through with the French captain Ed has killed - which, let's be clear, that French captain was definitely going to be killed no matter what, because this is a pirate raid and if they massacred what seemed to be a majority of the crew already, there's little chance they'll leave the dickbag captain alive behind them. So this isn't a man who got killed because he was a racist fucking dick.
This is a man who got himself a worse death being a racist fucking dick.
The scene plays out in a very similar way as the previous dickbag racist to get got, except in this case, there's no Jim to to take control of the situation (Stede is not able particularly helpful here because of his own implicit biases that he's yet to unpack), there's just Ed and Fang here to react to this situation.
And the situation is - the French Captain being a racist, and specifically choosing to focus on being a racist to Ed rather than just being generally anti-pirate. I'd thought that was pretty clear until I came across the sentiment that Ed is lashing out here because his "feelings were hurt" rather than because he was responding to racist bigotry, so let's be blunt about that.
Stede starts the interaction with a characteristically bitchy remark about how there's a distinct lack of saucier spoons on this "supposedly first class vessel", but when the French captain throws out, "my apologies... hadn't imagined we'd be hosting your kind", the meaning of that statement goes right over Stede's head. He registers insult, sure, but the way Ed stills there? The way he closes his eyes and then turns and requests clarification in a way that is clearly meant to give this asshole a chance correct his mistake?
That's Ed identifying what Stede missed. That when the French captain says your kind he's not referring to pirates. And that's made clear by the fact that when he continues on, he doesn't direct his response to Ed And Stede, he directs it to Ed specifically.
"A rich donkey is still a donkey."
That's the French captain doing what the British officer did. Naming Ed for an object, a beast of burden, a thing that is not worthy of recognition or respect or acknowledgement. Ed's Blackbeard and yet as far as this asshole is concerned, by the very fact that he's not white nothing he's ever accomplished, not the fear he inspires or the legend he's built, matters in the face of that.
That's what racism is about.
It's about whiteness establishing that the most successful, the most fearsome, the most legendary of all pirates is an indigenous man and that makes him worth less than any white man. He's got this captain's life in his hands, and even that can't make the man treat Ed with a crumb of caution or respect. He's not a person to that French man. He's an upstart, an animal stepping out of line.
And honestly, I think too many people think Stede's reaction was the right one. Because it wasn't. At all.
Stede's not helpful here, I mentioned earlier, because he's got his own implicit bias acting as baggage. When Ed expresses his absolute fury at this man calling him a donkey, a beast of burden, an animal, even though he doesn't know nothing about Ed, Stede's response - is to try and stop the anger, rather than address the source of it. "Don't debase yourself for a man who doesn't have a single tureen on board." @knowlesian has written some great meta on the subject of this response, but to put it simply - Ed also doesn't have a tureen on his ship, Stede, and there's nothing debasing in a natural and normal anger response.
Someone labels you an animal, a beast, a creature, you should get angry. They should get cussed the fuck out. Especially because again, it's not unique. The French captain is very effectively reminding Ed that the greater society, the world, will never see him as a full person, deserving of respect and acknowledgement, no matter what he has or how he carries himself or what he accomplishes. It's foreshadowing how the party will go - to the white world, Ed will always be a novelty at best, a disobedient animal at worst.
Lashing out at that, especially with words, isn't debasing yourself.
And honestly, that guy getting thrown overboard? And skinned? (Though really, it's up in the air as to whether Fang actually bothered with that.) That's a power fantasy for so many of us fans of color, lmao, the idea that god, one of the fucked up assholes out here doing their level to remind us that the world does not see us as full and equal people, gets to suffer and die.
It's not because his feelings were hurt. It's because just like the British officers, this man is reminding Ed and the audience that the structural power of racism is such that you can never win within the system of it, because the system is built to keep us out, keep us down, keep us pinned.
Stede's reaction makes sense, because he's part of that system too - he's been born and raised in it, in the respectability politics, in the genteel illusion that the upperclass way of doing things, where you direct the initial response to the person reacting too loud, too public, showing all that messy, uncouth emotion rather than the person who's actually the problem. You look at the response rather than the source.
And Stede, to his credit, isn't trying to shut Ed up. He's trying, in his own way, to be helpful, actually!
But Stede doesn't know what it's like, to be considered not a person. As a white gay man who everyone has been able to clock as gay his entire life, he's been treated as lesser than and wrong and disgusting his entire life, by his father and his peers, but he's till a rich, land-owning white man. That makes him a person, even if a despised, rejected, undesired one. His society sees him as a person, someone who could even, theoretically, plausibly, be treated with respect if he could just behave according to their rules.
That's not an opportunity you can have, with racism. It's one of the underlying differences in homophobia and racism that I've personally felt, as someone who's experienced both. With homophobia, what you are is wrong but the expectation is that you can, should, and must, act "right", behavior "appropriately" and then you can fit in. At the bottom of the pack, but in. With racism, you're always out. You can't change your race. You can't change what you're identified as on sight. You can't do anything to overcome what you are, and that's why you're treated as and understood to be less than.
And in this time period, that's very much a legal standing, far more overtly than it is in 2022. Black people aren't people, in 1717, they're property or soon to be property or creatures without real intelligence who need to be minded by their betters. Indigenous people aren't people, they're savage animals who need to be minded by their betters, uneducated, uncontrolled.
The response to the British, and the French, and later to those aristocrats, is appropriate in this world, because this is a world that does in fact, cater a bit to that fantasy - what if some people got what they deserved, sometimes? What if it was in fact, the right thing, to fuck up a racist? The internet loves to talk about punching Nazis and TERFs, as they should, but the same goes for a racist too. These guys are reinforcing a corrupt, horrific system of abuse, and they get what they deserve.
I'm sure this won't reach many people. But if you read this post, I hope you think about what racism is, and how it works, and understand that it's not about the individual at all. It's about the system at play and how that system dehumanizes and minimizes and objectifies whole classes of people for the sake of uplifting a single race and making everyone else into objects and novelties and creatures rather than people.
Next time you see someone say Ed "had his feelings hurt" by the French captain, or imply that the British navy were "rude" to Frenchie, Oluwande, and Roach, remind them that they weren't fucking rude, feelings weren't hurt, they were being actively dehumanized in accordance with an overarching system of widespread oppression.
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I was gonna ask a question but i honestly forgot it 😅 so just tell me something you want to rant about
If you do happen to remember what you were gonna ask feel free to do so, do not worry about spamming my inbox bc I live for that shit.
As for the rant
Transformers Rescue Bots had some of the best, kindest, and most respectful representation of neurodivergence I have ever seen in media and I'm tired of pretending it didn't.
While there are obvious complaints to be made about neurodivergent traits (especially autistic traits) usually being portrayed in media by inhuman characters like aliens or robots, this being a case of both, I feel like thats a pretty negligible sin given just how human the show makes the robots feel. (Also it was like 2011 and we were STRUGGLING for any scraps of rep anyway)
But like. The behaviors all these robots exhibit are all shit that I do that was always deemed unacceptable when I was a kid and seeing it portrayed with the level of kindness and gentleness they do in that show has me fuckin crying a little man. I wish I had actually watched it when I was younger and it was first airing because maybe if I did I would've had an easier time explaining what the hell was going on with my brain a LOT sooner.
Blades being anxious, overly sensitive, and WHOLEHEARTEDLY queer (which they had the absolute unparalleled balls to just casually confirm by having him swoon over "hunky vampires" in one episode and NOBODY commented on it. Fucking iconic) and getting so so deeply invested in the shows and movies he loves that he acts out the roles with enough passion to steel his nerves and completely flourish.
Boulder getting really confused at concepts that are basic and intuitive for most people, but still being so fucking intelligent, and never being made to feel stupid for the mix-ups, as well as just being so wholely, unabashedly in love with the planet he's found himself on, even if he doesn't understand all of it (Also apologizing to inanimate objects when he knocks them over 😭)
Chase being obsessed with rules and law because he NEEDS the structure to not fall apart at the seams, even feeling the need to fabricate a minor crime to justify using the emergency line to get a hold of the firehouse when he can't find the other bots. As well as just fully not understanding comedy (BUT TRYING HIS DAMNEDEST), taking things super literally, and having a lot of trouble with tone and expressions (even though you know just how deeply he feels All The Time).
Heatwave being desperate for attention and recognition, but completely allergic to asking for it. And honestly allergic to showing any genuine emotional responses other than aggression. The constant sarcasm and sass and defensiveness that he POORLY maintains because everyone knows that underneath that tough guy front is the loneliest robot on earth that wants to be loved SO bad but would rather jump into unicron's mouth than voice it because if he lets his guard down who knows what will happen to him or the people he cares about.
Just. All of it man. Seeing them exhibiting all these behaviors and quirks that all too often get met with poor reactions from people who don't want to deal with what they don't really get, but here they're met with patience and understanding?? It's got me fucked up. They get to be functional adults that struggle with what they have going on but still push through. They get to have unconditionally loving relationships with people that treat them with respect. And that's the kind of shit that gives me a lot of hope for folks like me because maybe some neurotypical kids that watched it picked up on what's helpful when their friend who acts like one of the bots is going through it. And maybe some neurodivergent kids watched it too and for the first time they just felt SEEN.
Okay rant over, I'm gonna go cry over some plastic robots 👍
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flower-boi16 · 4 months
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Amphibia vs Helluva Boss: Growing vs Woobifying
So recently I've just finished watching Amphibia. Let me just say I do have some complicated feelings about the show that I don't want to talk about here (saving that for another post), although I have my issues with the show It does have some genuinely great aspects to it that do make it worth watching in the end. One of those aspects is Sasha Waybright; Aka one of the best-written characters in the show.
Watching Amphibia and seeing Sasha's character development reminded me of Stolas from Helluva Boss, except done better. In this post I'm going to compare Sasha to Stolas and why Sasha is a better character than Stolas. So, why am I making this comparison? Well simple; they are both heavily toxic people who are abusive to their victims (Anne and Blitzo respectively). They are both heavily flawed people and although they do care for their victims deep down (even if for Stolas it was a retcon but eeeeeh), they still aren't good people.
So, what's the difference? Well, it's simple; Sasha grew, Stolas didn't. Amphibia made Sasha realize how much of a toxic, selfish POS she's been being towards others, especially Anne, and the show never coddles her and tries to paint Anne as the abuser for standing up to Sasha. It doesn't try to paint her as an UwU soft girl at all, instead, the show makes Sasha actually grow as a person, realizing her mistakes and making amends for them, as well as making things up with Anne.
Anne is also never painted as being in the wrong for standing up to Sasha as well. Amphibia made Sasha grow as a person and realize her mistakes, becoming less of a toxic bitch obsessed with control. Now at the end of the series, she's leading a resistance, which is actually a great way to end her arc, because now while she is in control of something, it's no longer because she was obsessed with being in control, she's leading an army to stop an evil king and save both Amphibia AND Earth. She's in control, but now it's in a good way instead of a bad way, if that makes any sense.
Compare that to Stolas, who the narrative repeatedly coddles and ignores his mistakes in favor of painting him as an UwU soft boy. Stolas has not gone through ANY character development so far where he becomes a better person, the show never makes him become a better person. It instead constantly paints Stolas as an UwU soft boy who did nothing wrong despite him being an Unsympathetic character due to him being a shitty person.
The show never calls him out for his mistakes after Season 1, Blitzo is painted as in the wrong for not loving him for some reason and we are supposed to feel bad for him because...he can't sexually abuse his victim anymore.
Amphibia shows a toxic person realizing her mistakes and growing as a person, meanwhile Helluva Boss shows a toxic person who NEVER realizes his mistakes and is repeatedly coddled and woobified by the narrative into being an UwU soft boy despite him being an objectively bad person.
I know sexual abuse and being a toxic friend are two different kinds of bad and they definitely are not on the same level, but my point still stands regardless. And Amphibia is a KIDS SHOW mind you, yet it has better writing than this show for adults.
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tower-girl-anon · 2 years
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Mars and what makes us angry
This is just a general and funny post about what triggers our anger according to our Mars sign or house since this planet can indicate that. As always, take this with a grain of salt, I apologize for any mistake and please don't repost or copy this without giving credits to the owner.
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Aries/1st house: when somebody criticize your driven and competitive energy. When someone talks about your body or how do you present yourself. Maybe you like to dress more sporty, manly or informal but some people critise this, causing you to get mad about it. Another alternative is that you get mad when people notices and asks if you are mad or what, even if you don't feel like that at all.
Taurus/2nd house: when someone devalues you or treats you as if you're less valuable than them. When someone steals from you, take something borrowed from you (it can be money or an object) and return in a later date than they originally told or they don't even return it at all. When somebody steals you food?
Gemini/3rd house: when somebody talks dirty or gossip about you or anybody else (specially in relation to the ones you care). When somebody treats you as if you were stupid, slow learner or calls you stupid when you have bad grades. On the other side, being the 3rd house the ruler of brothers or sisters, maybe you have a conflicting relationship with him/her/them.
Cancer/4th house: when somebody insults your family. When somebody insults you, knowingly or unknowingly, in a points that hit your emotions or your inner self. Tell me, do you tend to cry when you get mad? Even if you don't want to? Maybe you get mad when you cry because you think you're reacting like a child. On the other side, you could have a conflicting relationship with your family, so you tend to get mad easily with them.
Leo/5th house: when somebody criticizes or insults our interests, hobbies or anything creative that fulfilles you, that makes you proud, that keeps your inner child happy and makes your self-confidence (ego) arise in a healthy way. Maybe you get mad when people doesn't approve the man/woman that you tend to date.
Virgo/6th house: when you get mad, or stressed, does it affects your health in any way? Maybe you get mad when people asks about too much your health or gets involved too much in that area. I am thinking about a sometimes annoying voice that reminds you that you should remember to take that medicine even though you already know that. Or that you should start exercising more or eating more healthy even though you feel good. On the other side, if you have health issues, maybe you get mad when healthier people doesn't aprreciate the bodies they have or doesn't take care of it with the care it deserves.
Libra/7th house: one word: injustice. Unfairness. When people take advantage of either a persons or of a situation that is going to affect another person. Especially if it's negative. Hypocrisy, manipulation, lies, exploitation or the abuse of somebody else are the themes that really keeps the blood of these natives boiling with anger.
Scorpio/8th house: they get mad when they, or others, loose the control of a situation, being it about an intimate relationship, money or wathever. When somebody confronts them, questions or doesn't recognize the power or authority of the person. If you receive money or a inheritance, you could get mad if you don't receive the money you deserve to receive. On another level, you can get mad when you face some life changing, transformative, and sometimes traumatic experiences. Like the death of a family member or friend for example. Because you tend to question your own power, the system or even life over these changes that, in many cases, you can't have always the control. Your anger can be transformative and even deadly.
Sagittarius /9th house: when someone questions your belief systems, your religion or your knowledge. When someone discredits you for not having a university degree or studying in a place that is not part of the universities elites in the world like Yale or Cambridge. When someone mistreats you because of the place that you come from. The same can be said about the jokes some people makes in relation to some stereotypical things about the culture you come from.
Capricorn/10th house: when your efforts are not being appreciated or recognized either by others or in your career. You could either try to repress some of your frustration and anger (Saturn is a planet that restricts) or it is easily shown in your career since the 10th house rules our career and public persona. When the career you choose doesn't motivate you enough, or doesn't have the inmediate results that you expected, that can be another scenario of your anger.
Aquarius/11th house: your anger or rage can be explosive and unpredictable, especially with Mars in Aquarius. You may get angry with themes such as society in general. Perhaps when the TV or the internet shows violence, disgraced or injustices through all parts of the world, you feel mad towards these situations. Another theme here is friends, so you could very well get mad when somebody talks trash about your friends or even someone who is labeled as strange or different.
Pisces/12th house: this is the most complex one in my opinion and I write this with a intuitive feeling only, but I have the sense here that those who have either of these aspects, especially the 12th house, get mad but doesn't know the reason on why are they feeling like that. They just feel it, but they don't, consciously, know that they're mad and maybe that's because that the energy comes from their inmortal soul whom is larger than the physical body. Maybe it comes from another life. On the other side, if they have it in Pisces, they could very well be empathetic to other people's anger so they could absorb more anger whitin themselves.
This is all I have for you today. I hope it resonates with you.
Love and light to all of you
Tower Girl Anon
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manwrre · 7 months
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It’s bordering on two weeks since Hargrove’s arrival at Hawkins High, when Steve realizes he’s crushing on the guy. Like—‘doodling hearts in the margins of his books and racking up a list of things he likes about him’ type crushing.
They’ve barely interacted after that night at the party. Outside of social gatherings, they just run in different circles; Steve, filling his time with Robin and occasionally third-wheeling Nancy and Jonathan, while Billy hangs out with the more popular crowd.
Their schedules also don’t overlap despite the blonde taking a number of senior-level classes, with the exception of gym and lunch.
The list though, is still so painstakingly long. Ego-stroking-ly lengthy. Embarrassingly indulgent, all on his behalf.
Steve would much rather nosedive into the quarry, than divulge too deeply into it with anyone.
Especially around or to the guy’s actual face, at the risk of Billy’s head becoming too big for his body (even though Steve thinks he’d make an adorable bobble head). Or you know, worse— like him, getting absolutely brained in front of everyone.
Which must say a lot about him as a person because apparently, this is his type. Beautiful, angry, conceited boys.
Regardless, there are some objective mentions on his list though.
Things that the general public would agree on, like Billy’s Michelle-Pfeiffer curls; loose and wavy but so, so golden.
His eyes are a close second, of course because Steve’s seen a lot of bright blues but Billy’s remind him of the vacation he’d spent in Aruba, as a kid. Remind him of a horizon-kissed vastness and warm water lapping at his ankles on a private beach.
The public also agrees that Billy’s got a banging body. He’s thicker than most because he actually gives a shit and ‘works out religiously’ but it’s not all muscle. His abdomen and thighs are firm but his pecs and ass have the right amount of give. A perfect amount of softness.
Steve would know because he’s had to will away many boners at the sight of them.
And Billy’s funny in a witty, sarcastic way. He grins toosharptooprettytoobright and dangerous. He’s smart too, like taking mostly AP classes smart and he’s smug about it all because he knows he’s hot shit. Of course, the bastard is self aware. Cocky. Steve likes him so much. Wants him so bad that it’s dizzying, sickening.
So yeah, there’s stuff that everyone can agree on but then….then, there’s whatever this is.
This being the two penny-sized indents at the base of Billy’s spine. Symmetrical and just defined enough for average eye to discern.
When Steve sees them for the first time though, he promptly drops the basketball in his hands. In front of everyone. During fucking gym class. Purely out of shock.
He catches himself within the same breath and quickly looks away.
Swallows.
Ignores the pointed look that Patrick sends him for flaking out, mid-pass, like some kind of freak and looks around cooly.
Because Billy Hargrove has dimples of venus.
Affectionately dubbed a sign of beauty by Michelangelo. Famed after the Greek goddess’ simulacrum. Called dimples of Apollo on men, which suits Billy all the more, in Steve’s opinion.
The sun child.
Flushed with life. Deserving of avid worshippers. A being deserving of wax poetic. Glittering, dazzling, vibrant and the Camaro, his chariot.
And he knows this because dimples are like, his freckles. His glasses. His braces. They’re a niche, little thing that he finds just devastating. Achingly cute. Nancy has a pair of them near her laugh lines that he would kiss everyday and prod at, endeared.
So he ambles on through practise a little out of breath and red in the face with his newfound knowledge.
Watches Billy jog over to the locker room with everyone else at the end; skin slick and sweat pooling at the divots of his waistband. Tempting.
He stands back and feigns trying to catch his breath, his hands on his knees. Eyes the younger boy’s retreating form from up through his hair. Imagines hooking his thumbs into the depressions of his flesh.
Relishes in the thought of splaying his hands across the width of his waist.
Feels his mouth go dry and a rush of white heat surging south.
Licks his lips absentmindedly as his cock aches to life and makes the decision to skip the locker room schtick, save anyone realizing he’s sporting a half chub.
Instead, he grabs his backpack and heads out to his car. The parking lot is mostly empty by the time he gets there and devoid of anyone interested in him enough to wave him over. He tosses his stuff into the backseat of the Beemer and speeds off before anyone can catch up to him.
It’s a short drive to his house but he spends it envisioning Billy in all sorts of compromising positions. Thinks about the flush on his skin when he plays and the heat in his eyes— wonders how easily he gives in; loud-mouth turned soft and pliant at the faintest hint of pleasure.
He barely makes it inside before shucking his bag off and stripping himself bare of sweat-sticky clothes. In the same breath, he’s fisting a too damp hand around his cock and hissing at the near painful throb. His only relief comes from the coldness of the door against his back as he slumps against it.
Precum beads at the flushed head and he gathers it all on the upstroke to ease the glide. Squeezes his eyes shut so tightly that honeyed galaxies explode behind the lids and he can’t think.
Can’t think about the consequences of jerking off to someone he sees damn near everyday. Doesn’t care enough to avoid the impending embarrassment.
Why would he? Instead, he thinks of Billy laid out beneath him, all pretty and flushed and glittering; his eyes wet with unshed tears and ruddy lower lip between his teeth as he looks over his shoulder at him. Imagines the roughness of his voice and his muscles all pulled taut as Steve knocks the air out of his lungs with each slam of his cock.
He fucks into the tight ‘o’ of his hand, already so goddamn close and conjures up the image of twin dips. Wants to paint pearlescent white across the bronze expanse of Billy’s back; let it pool where he is favored by the Gods.
The thought has him biting back a moan as he grinds into the slickness of his hold. The heat in his gut expands so greatly, so suddenly, that his hips flex with the intensity of it. Until finally,
it snaps.
Like a star beneath the pressures of gravity; with all the strength and ferocity of a supernova. And he’s spilling all over his hand in a few stiff, jerky thrusts and breathing out a low, garbled “Fuck, Billy— shitshitshit.”
And God, he’s so screwed.
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queerfandomtrifecta · 6 months
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How Izzy’s Death Could’ve Made Basic Storytelling Sense
Just to be clear, Izzy is my favorite and I wanted him to live more than anything. This isn’t about that, and that is NOT why I hated his death. Had it served the narrative in a way that made even the most basic storytelling sense, while I’d admittedly have been devastated in a different way (i.e. the character whose queerness was relegated to the subtext in s1 and as soon as it’s textual and his whole arc is that he’s killed, but that’s a whole separate post…), but at least there would’ve been a correctly crafted arc from a surface level narrative standpoint that ended in the death of my favorite character. But that’s not what this is about. It’s is about how the show could’ve actually made the death actually make sense and work effectively. (Also, if you want my unasked for thoughts on how most of the existing plot of s2 (minus 7-8) could’ve easily been adjusted to fix the narrative as a whole and keep Izzy alive, I wrote this)
But. For those in the fandom insisting that Izzy HAD to die, including DJenks who has said as such in interviews (for reasons I do not understand), from an objective developmental editor standpoint, this is what I think needed to change to make Izzy’s death serve the narrative, character arcs and dynamics, pacing, structure, and thematic elements correctly.
It’s about 2K words just so you know what you’re gonna get into. Spoilers under the cut.
Issue 1. Izzy’s relationship with the crew and how they truly became his family this season totally vanished during his death scene. The same crew who he protected from Ed during the later, worse parts of the Kraken phase. The crew who banded together to save his life by hiding him from/lying to Ed about it, and amputating his leg to save him. The crew he saved by crawling up those stairs during the storm, hobbling out into the rain with one leg and shooting Ed before he could shoot a cannon ball through the mast and kill them all. The crew who called him “our dick”. The crew that then banded together with Stede’s half of the crew to him the leg and the new unicorn (aka the figurehead of the ship). That crew didn’t cry a SINGLE tear when he died. What?? Fang sobbed most of episode one and really lost it when Izzy got shot. Where was that when he died?? Izzy’s last speech to Ricky had something along the lines of: piracy is about belonging/family. We are Good. (Forgive me, I’m paraphrasing, but that’s the gist). Izzy truly did find his family in the crew outside of Ed. That was absolutely fantastic, especially in the first four episodes and episode six. It VANISHED when he was dying and dead.
The fix: To make the death impactful, effective, or even to make it make sense on a very basic acting and writing level, the crew should’ve been utterly DEVASTATED. At least heartbreaking music and like 30 seconds of everyone breaking down and holding each other. At least some of them crying and holding each other in the background when he was dying. Come on.
Issue 2. Thematically speaking, is piracy Good or Bad? Again, Izzy tells Ricky that they (the pirates/his crew) are capital G Good. Yet Ed has spent a lot of time maintaining piracy is capital B Bad. He tells the urchins as such. Here’s some money that I never had, now you don’t have to be pirates. Don’t be pirates. He doesn’t want Stede to kill Ned Low in cold blood. Ed just doesn’t want to be a pirate. Even at the end AFTER Izzy dies telling Ed he’s with his family (implied that this is the crew) and they love Ed, Ed LEAVES THAT FAMILY AND LEAVES PIRACY IMMEDIATELY. We’re left with him and Stede watching the family Izzy swore was Good and loved Ed sail away because Ed thinks piracy is Bad. Which is it?? The death served nothing in convincing Ed he could be happy with his found family on the sea as Ed, not Blackbeard, so the dying words were pointless. The thematic elements are all over the place (for the whole season but that’s another post) and that needs changing to make the death scene make sense.
The fix: Izzy should’ve told him he sees he doesn’t want to pirate anymore, he’s glad he’s found love with Stede because Izzy isn’t going to make it, go run your fokkin’ inn, you twat (affectionate).
Issue 3. Izzy died of bad planning and bad luck. Why didn’t they take the gun from Ricky? Between Spanish Jackie, Izzy, and Jim, SOMEONE would’ve thought about it. If not those three, someone else would’ve, but come one. One if not all of those three would’ve known better. Yeah, Izzy happened to be standing in front of Ed and he got shot instead of him, but you’ve gotta be REALLY looking for that to even be aware it’s what happened. It wasn’t even on purpose unless Ed strategically placed himself behind Izzy (which I doubt was the intent). Izzy didn’t position himself protectively/take the bullet for anyone on purpose. It was just happenstance and you only notice it if you’re rewatching and hyper-analyzing everything (which a lot of us, me included, in the fandom do, but casual watchers don’t. It’s totally unclear as far as the surface level narrative goes) Any sort of “heroism” is not acknowledged, it’s barely even noticeable in the shot. If that was the intent, it HAD to be clearer and acknowledged by the characters so the audience would realize the stakes and repercussions of clear choices. As it is, I don’t think it was intentional. If Izzy HAS to die, it should truly have rounded out his arc in a way that CLEARLY changed the course of the scene, leaving him to protect people he’d put in danger at the end of s1. It didn’t. It just read as terrible planning to the point of it being out of character for more than one character, and bad luck.
The fix: Izzy should’ve saved someone. I personally don’t like the idea of it being Ed. I’s have rather he save Stede (Not really, but it’s better than Ed I guess) But really Izzy should’ve died saving the crew. The crew makes the most sense to me, narratively speaking. He’s their figurehead, he’s protected the Kraken Crew for months and they should’ve been fiercely loyal to him, he blames himself for what Ed did to them (more on this later) so it makes sense for him to fiercely protect his crew. His family. Who should’ve been devastated that it happened because Izzy is the one character of the main three who’s managed to earn that status this season.
Issue 4. The death did not serve to move the plot along. There are literally zero things that would’ve been different for the end of the episode, save Izzy being alive and on the Revenge in his rightful role he earned with his crew as the captain, if he’d have lived. Ed and Stede aren’t partnering with Zheng to go after the guy who killed him in the next season. Nope. They got the offer but nah. They’re running an Inn. Which Izzy would’ve supported based on literally everything we’ve seen from him in episodes 5-8. The crew who Izzy protected fiercely and who viewed him as their leader? Not one tear during his death or the the funeral. Happily sailing away to do presumably more Muppet Treasure Island hijinks. No character development happened. No plot development happened. The season could’ve ended literally the EXACT SAME WAY with Izzy alive aboard the Revenge!!! No stakes were changed at all. No one was impacted enough for it to seem like it was even going to be a plot obstacle next season. It just happened, Izzy’s toxic situationship who maimed him multiple times over the course of months to the point of his leg needing to be amputated was sad for one (1) scene, then we moved on and did not seem sad at all at the funeral. What.
The fix: The plot should’ve been driven by the death. Ed and Stede (but especially Ed), and DEFINITELY the crew should’ve been sailing off plotting to avenge the death and defend piracy against Ricky and the British, especially with Zheng who lost her whole fleet. Ricky and the British are clearly (or so I hope, nothing’s clear here anymore tbh) the primary antagonist for the theoretical third season. No one should be running an whim-based inn for fun or sailing off happily into the sunset after the death of the most major character aside from Ed and Stede, who beyond proved himself a major part of something every character (his family) should’ve cared about this season. If he HAD to die, that death should have furthered the plot. But instead, it seems everyone shrugged it off with tears exclusively from Ed.
Issue 5. Izzy got shot in the left side. The side in which canonically NO ONE DOES FROM BEING INJURED ON IN THE OFMD UNIVERSE.
The fix: Yeah I know this is just too nit-picky but it was also just SO sloppy. Like just shoot him on the other side if he has to die, because this was a very memorable plot point more than once in s1. Like, come on y’all.
Disclaimer: Issues/fixes 1-5 would all need to happen together to truly fix it and make the death serve the narrative correctly. Issue/fix 6 is a totally separate route, which I personally hate, but at least the narrative would’ve made sense this way.
Issue 6. The idea that Izzy had to die so that Ed could be free of Blackbeard makes no sense at this point in the story. Ed already threw away his leathers and gave away his treasure to symbolically get rid of Blackbeard, and Izzy very sweetly encouraged him to follow the feeling that throwing out the leathers gave him. Izzy told Stede that he and Ed were good for each other. They balance each other out. Izzy is on good terms with both of them and their relationship, so Izzy “having to die” so Ed could flourish as Ed genuinely makes no sense and came totally out of left field.
The fix for 6: This one stands alone and is my absolute least favorite option, but if it HAD to happen without the 1-5 fixes, here’s how it could’ve made sense. If THIS is truly the way it was going to end, Izzy needed to be continuously antagonistic or avoidant to at least Ed and actually be shown holding Ed back from happiness until that last second. He wasn’t. He was so much better. Izzy clearly does blame himself (that’s for a separate post because I have lots of thoughts there) but to be fair they were both abusive in that relationship, for years it seems. Although I think by the beginning of s2, the power dynamic has clearly flipped and it was Ed who was doing most of it and Izzy was exhausted and knowingly “reaping what he’d sewed” (I don’t Blame Izzy for his abuse but I think this was his mindset) so the crew wouldn’t get the brunt of it.
If he seriously HAD to die because the writers just had to have it that way, those are the changes I think would’ve made the narrative work/make sense, served all the character arcs and dynamics correctly, and actually driven the plot as fictional deaths are supposed to, compelling things into a third season. Seriously, this season finale was a mess of baffling choices the most series finale season finale I’ve ever seen.
Anyway. There’s my unsolicited two-cents. Now back to hoping Izzy’s in the gravy basket waiting to be sea witch necromancied back by seagull Buttons in season 3. I love this show and I hate hating what I hate hating about it because it’s my absolute favorite and I can’t stand it because it’s fantastic and the worst thing I’ve ever seen. (Also, Izzy should’ve lived).
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genderkoolaid · 1 year
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so many people on ur incel post thinking that a Bad Person doesn't deserve any compassion, and any and all punishments become justified, despite those punishments being totally incompatible with feminist ideas.
this is the same thought process behind denying incarcerated people their rights
Also like... I am 10000% sure that, especially online, there are young boys in those communities who are there because they feel like shit and think it's the only community that they can have that will support them. See this reply by @havinganormalone
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Most of these guys are not mass shooters or murderers. There's a good chance they are assholes of varying degrees of severity, and pretty much guaranteed to be some level of misogynistic.
But I don't want anyone to end up hurting themselves out of self hatred!!!!! Sorry but I don't!!!! I want them to stay alive to have the chance to become better people!!!! I don't enjoy wishing for the deaths of people in hate groups. If there is no other way to protect vulnerable groups I'm not against it, but ideally I want them to grow and change as people. And I am committed to seeing people's humanity and suffering, because pain is where the vast majority of shitty actions come from. So we can't deal with those shitty actions without confronting the fact that the people who do them are not mindless robots of evil, they are people who are hurting. We can hold people accountable AND acknowledge their pain.
& people keep saying "we don't hate them for their dysmorphia we hate them for being incels" but why do you think a lot of those guys ARE incels?? A lot of them view themselves as inherently ugly & unlovable. And you are mocking their self-hatred. That's not helpful. If an incel, like, gets punched by a woman for being a misogynist and cries about it online, I am gonna think it was well-deserved. But this is about them self-harming as a result of self-hatred, which is deeply concerning when it happens to anyone. & I very much did see people saying things which encouraged the idea that their dysmorphia was justified or mocking them for not just getting plastic surgery. Just like how people mock incels for being fat neckbeards!! Which people also justify by saying "well they are a hate group!!" so they dont have to think critically about why they are okay with bodyshaming when its against "bad people".
Incel ideology as I understand is built on the pessimism of men who feel they are inherently less than conventionally attractive men. They view themselves as inherently lesser people because they don't fit conventional masculine standards. And blame women for this because they are misogynists who haven't critically examined their misogyny and so they ignore the way the patriarchy is the one doing this to them. But if you are going to fix an issue you need to address the root cause. And the root cause here is self-hatred. Incels self-harming because they think they need a certain bone structure to be attractive isn't a coincidence, its fundamentally related to their incel-ness. & again I can't imagine there will never be a young boy who isn't even involved in those spaces who will see that or smth like it and feel like it would fix his self-esteem issues.
& you are very right about the incarcerated thing. The idea that "bad people" deserve no compassion & deserve every bad thing that happens to them is how horrific abuse in prison gets justified. And some of those people are innocent or jailed for objectively stupid crimes, but many aren't. And they don't deserve that abuse, especially since many of them are criminals because of some sort of suffering they experience.
Tumblr in general encourages revenge & dehumanization of "bad" people. Its no better than the criminal justice system in that regard, telling us that revenge is helpful, punishment is helpful, and we should all feed our gut desire to see bad people suffering as much as possible. & I do not subscribe to that. I don't think you can really be a prison abolitionist and subscribe to that (& in a larger sense I dont think you can hope to built a better society than we have currently and think like that). It's hard work sympathizing with people who do awful things but like I said, you can't let dehumanization thought patterns take root in your mind. I am very devoted to having compassion for everyone & once again people are surprised when that includes EVERYONE.
I'm not even really doing this for incels. I don't get in debates with people unless I believe they will actually listen to what I say and consider it in good faith, and many incels won't. But I'm not going to be a person who encourages this kind of self-harm, and I especially don't want to be someone who does that and justifies it to myself because they are "bad people" who "deserve it". I'm no cop or prison guard. And if there is someone who might be open to that kind of deprogramming, I want them to see my blog as a space that has compassion for their suffering. I want them to get better, not kill themselves and never get that chance. You can't have both.
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