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itsivyberry · 4 years

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always forever

Sokka x f!Reader

a/n: HI this is a request !!!! it’s a long fic because I couldn’t help myself !!!! there are also quite a few time skips because it was getting too long and I didn’t want to kill my fingers trying to finish it LMFAO enjoy ❤️

warnings: jealousy, heartbreak, major character death, hella long for no reason so sorry also TIME SKIPS!!!!! I take out important parts of the sotn episodes!!!!, also blood my bad I added that in last minute

word count: 4556

request: -hi! i saw that your requests were open, i hope i’m not bothering you but may i request sokka x jealous female reader x princess yue, and can you end it with fluff with sokka and the reader confessing their feelings for each other and getting together ^-^?

to anon: I love you and I love this request, thank you<3

music recs: lookalike - conan gray, f song - strawberry guy

taglist: @tomshollandz

gif credit: @fireladyazula

“I’m not one to complain, but can’t Appa fly any higher?” Sokka called from the back of the saddle.

“I have an idea! Why don’t we all get on your back, and you can fly us to the North Pole?” Aang turned around, sounding rather agitated.

“I’d love to. Climb on, everyone. Sokka is ready for takeoff.” Sokka pointed to his back, shaking his bum at his companions.

“We aren’t even that far, Sokka.” Y/N lay on her back, staring up at the sky and watching the clouds drift.

“Look, we’re all just a little tired and cranky because we’ve been flying for two days straight.” Katara tried to reason.

“And for what? We can’t even find the Northern Water Tribe.” Sokka argued back. “There’s nothing up here.”

Almost as if on cue, a giant shard of ice formed just in front of Appa. Aang yelled, steering the bison away from the hunk of ice.

Y/N, Sokka, and Katara were all holding onto the saddle for dear life as Appa flew away from the forming shards of ice.

The tip of a newly formed iceberg managed to snag one of Appa’s paws, and he was sent spiraling into the cold water below.

Multiple rafts full of water benders came out from behind the large icebergs, freezing Appa in place.

“They’re water benders! We found the water tribe!” Katara exclaimed, looking around.

~.•*✰

“There it is!” Aang stood, pointing at the massive ice walls ahead.

“The Northern Water Tribe.” Katara confirmed, awe written all over her face.

“We’re finally here.” Sokka said, almost in a trance.

“See! I told you Sokka, we were almost there that entire time.” Y/N punched his shoulder playfully, earning snickers and giggles from the boy.

~.•*✰

A raft was soon leading Appa through the icy river, giving all the citizens of the Northern Water Tribe a chance to see the avatar.

As the four kids drifted through the water, Y/N couldn’t help but find herself lost in the beauty of the structures.

Everything was an amazing shade of blue, ice everywhere.

A boat with a young girl, about Y/N’s and Sokka’s age drifted just past them. Y/N was snapped out of her thoughts when Sokka jumped off the saddle, sliding down Appa’s tail.

“This place is beautiful.” Katara pointed out the obvious.

“Yeah, she is.” Sokka mumbles just loud enough to where Y/N could hear.

It hurt quite a bit, seeing her crush fall for yet another girl so quickly. Another girl, that wasn’t her.

The girl in question, however, was breathtakingly beautiful. She had icy white hair, beautiful tanned skin and these beautiful blue eyes.

Y/N understood why he was so entranced by her, but it didn’t hurt any less. Katara must’ve noticed how sour Y/N’s mood had turned, and gave a sympathetic look to her. She shrugged, standing up and plopping down right next to Aang on Appa’s head.

This was going to be a long trip.

~.•*✰

Y/N watched quietly as four members of the water tribe brought out a large platter of food for Appa. She giggled to herself as Appa growled loudly, scaring the four men off.

“Tonight, we celebrate the arrival of our brother and sister from the Southern Tribe.” The Chief motioned the Katara and Sokka. “We are also welcoming a friend from the Earth Kingdom. And they have brought with them someone very special, someone who many of us believed disappeared from the world until now... the avatar.”

Cheers erupted from the citizens surrounding the main table. Aang smiled and waved, the rest of the gaang clapping along.

“We also celebrate my daughters 16th birthday. Princess Yue is now of marrying age.” The Chief stepped aside to welcome the girl who the group saw from earlier. It all made sense to Y/N now. She looked regal because she was royalty. No wonder Sokka likes her and not Y/N.

“Thank you, father. May the great Ocean and Moon spirits watch over us during these troubled times.” She announced, looking over to the members of her tribe.

“Now, Master Pakku and his students will perform!”

Y/N fell silent again. She disconnected, watching lifelessly at the waterbending show before her.

It was embarrassing to her, watching her crush of many months pine after a girl whom Y/N could never exactly compare to.

Before she knew it, the food was served and everybody was digging in. Well, everyone except for Y/N.

“What’re you doing, Y/N/N? Eat! We have all this food now.” Aang pushes her plate closer to her.

“It’s okay, Aang. I’m not hungry.” Y/N pushed the plate back.

“It’s Sokka, isn’t it? That’s why you’ve been oddly quiet since we got here, and why you’re not eating.” Aang lowered his voice, leaning a little closer. Y/N gave a shallow nod, dropping her eyes.

“I’m pathetic. I just want to leave already.” Y/N said. “But you and Katara need a waterbending master. So I’m stuck here with my stupid crush.”

Aang fell silent once again.

Princess Yue walked over and sat beside Sokka, and the dull ache in her chest grew.

“Hi there.” Y/N heard Sokka say. “Sokka, Southern Water Tribe.”

She cringed, listening to how this boy tried to act cool in front of a pretty girl.

“Very nice to meet you.” Yue bowed her head.

“So, uh... you’re a princess, huh?” Sokka attempted to continue to conversation that was already slowly dying. “You know, back in my tribe, I’m kind of like a prince myself.”

“Ha! A prince of what?” Katara scoffed.

“A lot of things! Do you mind? I’m trying to have a conversation here.”

“My apologies, Prince Sokka.” Katara dramatically bowed, sarcasm lacing her voice. Y/N and Aang snicker from beside her.

“So, it looks like I’m gonna be in town for a while. I’m thinking maybe we could... do an activity together?” Sokka asked the princess.

Y/N choked on the piece of bread she was chewing on. Aang lightly patted her back.

Did he really just ask a princess on a date? Right in front of everyone, right in front of me? Y/N thought.

“Do an activity?” Princess Yue asked, and Y/N could tell she was trying not to laugh at the boy.

Sokka stuffed his mouth with food, coughing in the process in attempt to escape the embarrassing conversation he was so eager to continue before.

“Very smooth.” Katara leaned over to her brother.

“I’m heading back to where we’re staying. Anybody need anything? No? Okay, bye.” Y/N stood abruptly, not giving her companions any time to respond before she bowed at the chief and his daughter.

“What’s up with her?” Sokka asked, watching as Y/N scurried off.

“You did just ask out a princess in front of her.” Aang leaned over the table to speak to him.

“So what? It’s not like she likes me, or anything.” Sokka rolled his eyes. Katara and Aang shared a look, before continuing eating the lovely dinner.

~.•*✰

The following day, Aang and Katara made there way to Master Pakku’s waterbending lessons. Y/N stayed at the small house they were given, along with Sokka.

“I really like that princess, you know?” Sokka said for the tenth time in the past five minutes.

“She’s pretty. You deserve someone like her.” Y/N said despite every cell in her body screaming at her to just say she likes him then and there. She was drying off his coat with was soaked because he allegedly tripped into the ice cold river.

“I get to see her tonight.” Sokka said again, tucking his arm underneath his head as he watched Y/N dry off his coat.

She didn’t respond.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She answered just as quick as the question left his mouth.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Y/N huffed, laying his jacket on the back of a chair. “I’m going for a walk.” She stood, slipping on her own winter coat and walking right out the door.

Part of her hoped he would follow her, pressure her into telling him what was truly wrong. But the door never opened behind her, and her heart broke a little bit more.

~.•*✰

Y/N didn’t return until sundown. She walked on the icy paths back to where her and her friends were staying, smiling warmly at citizens she passed by.

As she approached the bridge that led straight to where the gaang was staying, she saw two figures leaning over the railing. Y/N stopped for a moment, not wanting to interrupt them.

That was, until, one of the figures ran away from the other.

She could feel the anger radiating off of the other person, and she barely had time to register the small wooden carving thrown directly at her.

There was no way the person on the bridge could’ve seen her, the only light available was the moon above. Nonetheless, it smacked her right on the side of her head, and hard.

“Ow..” Y/N groaned, rubbing her temple. She leaned down to inspect what had just hit her, and it looked to be a messy carving of a fish.

~.•*✰

“Y/N! Oh, I’m so glad you’re back. You’ll never guess what happened- oh spirits! What happened to your face?” Aang exclaimed, standing from his place in front of the small fire.

“Somebody threw something at me and now I have a big goose egg on my forehead.” Y/N frowned, unbuttoning her jacket.

“What hit you? It’s already bruised..” Katara trailed off, lightly touching the side of her face. Y/N winced and smacked her hand away.

“Some weird wooden carving thing. I was trying to get up on the bridge but it smacked me right when I turned the corner.” She pulled out the messy carving to show them.

“Oh, Sokka made this. Maybe he dropped it and somebody tried to throw it in the water.” Katara took it from Y/N, inspecting it.

“Oh, right. Made it for Yue. How could I have forgotten.” Y/N’s voice began to waver.

“He’s just a stupid teenage boy, Y/N. Don’t worry about it, he’ll come around.” Katara consoled her friend.

Aang was confused as to what Katara was implying. “Come around to what? Katara, what is Sokka going to come around to?”

~.•*✰

Y/N was already fast asleep when Sokka returned. Her sleep was light, though, and she could faintly hear them talk about warrior training.

As Aang listened to Sokka ramble about Princess Yue, something clicked in his head.

Y/N likes Sokka. Sokka likes Yue.

This explains Y/N distancing herself from everyone and disappearing every couple of hours since they arrived.

He thought for a moment, about how he could’ve missed this, even after consoling her at the feast. And how Sokka was so oblivious to Y/N’s feelings.

Aang understood completely why Y/N was suddenly standoffish and jealous.

He would just let it be for now, though.

~.•*✰

Y/N had fallen into a deeper sleep, and found herself trapped in one of the worst scenarios her brain could’ve come up with.

After Aang and Katara left to train, Sokka had decided to get some rest along with Y/N. He was awoken by the small cries, and the thrashing of a sleeping bag across the room.

He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes and looking around for the source of the noise.

Then he spotted Y/N, whipping her head back and forth, her eyes squeezed shut.

“Y/N- hey, wake up- Y/N, it’s a dream-“ Sokka attempted to wake her, shaking her lightly. She woke with a gasp, sitting up so quickly he was sure she was going to have whiplash.

“You were having a nightmare.” Sokka kneeled by her sleeping bag, softly rubbing her back up and down.

“Spirits, I’m sorry.” She whispered out, not meeting his eyes.

“Do you want to go for a walk? Maybe it’ll help clear your head. I noticed you haven’t been getting much sleep, maybe it’ll tire you out a bit.” He offered, standing up. She nodded lightly, slipping out of the sleeping back.

Sokka handed her the soft winter coat she brought, slipping on his own right after.

They walked silently through the icy paths, eyes stinging from the cold breeze.

“What was your nightmare about?” Sokka asked once they reached a bridge, overlooking the entrance of the Northern Water Tribe.

“Don’t want to talk about it.” Y/N mumbled, leaning over the ledge to prop her head in her hand and closing her eyes.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” Sokka’s voice almost sounded offended, like he knew Y/N was holding back.

She hummed lightly, nodding with her head still in her hands.

“I know you don’t like Yue.” Sokka said after a few moments of silence, letting out a breath he seemed to be holding for hours.

“Why would I not like her? She’s a princess, the nicest one I’ve ever met. I don’t have a reason to not like her.” Y/N furrowed her brows, turning to look at him.

“I bet it’s because you want to hang out with me, but I’ve been hanging out with her.” Sokka said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He was right,

Y/N did want to hang out with Sokka. And as much as she wanted to hate Yue for stealing him away, the princess didn’t know. Y/N was jealous, and it was bad.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I would much rather hang out with her than you.” Y/N smirked playfully, punching him lightly in the shoulder. He laughed, leaning away from her touch.

This is nice, she thought. Seeing him laugh because of her was a really nice feeling.

“Are you okay, though? You haven’t been yourself since we got here.” Sokka said, putting his head in his hands in a similar manner to her.

“Yeah. Not used to being in the freezing cold all the time.” Y/N gazed at the reflection of the moon in the icy water.

“We should go back.” Sokka’s voice snapped her out of the trance she was in. She muttered a soft ‘okay’, following him back down the stairs and to the building they were staying in.

~.•*✰

Y/N could barely comprehend what happened the following day.

Katara challenged the waterbending master to a duel. Y/N knew what was coming and was preparing to console her friend.

But, Katara ended up making an impact on the entire tribe. It was revolutionary, the way she singlehandedly destroyed a major gender norm and tradition.

On the other hand, both Sokka and Katara learned about how their grandmother ran from an arranged marriage. Aang and Y/N were beyond confused, and the day had barely started.

When Yue was brought to tears about the realization, Aang didn’t hesitate to tell Sokka to go after her.

It hurt Y/N to see him care for her so dearly, knowing he would never treat her that way.

The moon was high as Yue sat on the bridge her and Sokka first talked at.

“What do you want from me?” Yue asked through years as Sokka stepped up next to her.

“Nothing. I just want you to know, I think you’re beautiful. And I never thought a girl like you would even notice a guy like me.” Sokka said quietly, avoiding her gaze.

“You don’t understand.”

“No, no. See, that’s the thing. I think I do understand now. You’re a princess and I’m... I’m just a southern peasant.”

“No, Sokka-“ Yue tried to reason, but he cut her off before she could finish her sentence.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I’ll see you around, okay?” Sokka turned to walk away before Yue grabbed his arm and pulled him into a kiss.

Y/N watched below in tears. She didn’t know how she kept finding herself watching them together, it just kept happening. What she didn’t hear, was what came after the kiss.

“Oh, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m engaged! And somebody else is in love with you...” Yue’s cheeks took on a red hue underneath the moonlight.

“Somebody is in love with me? What are you taking about?” Sokka’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, completely forgetting about what was happening moments ago.

“I see the way that girl in your group looks at you. I can’t do that to someone else. I’m sorry. She’s pretty, you deserve her, not me. We can’t see each other anymore. I’m sorry.” Yue’s voice broke as tears formed in her eyes again. Similar to the night before, she ran off, leaving Sokka alone on the bridge.

Y/N... in love with him? He couldn’t wrap his head around it. Then, it clicked. Sokka knew why she was acting weird.

He couldn’t just march right up to her and say he loved her, too. It wouldn’t be a complete lie, considering he had always thought she was a beautiful soul and a strong fighter since the day she joined them on their journey. Sokka was conflicted. He was just kissing Yue underneath the moon, but now he could only think of Y/N, and how miserable she must be, having nothing to do but watch and hear Sokka pine over a princess.

He needed to do something.

~.•*✰

The attack on the tribe was frightening. Y/N didn’t know her place, where to fight. She barely had the suitable weapons for the environment she was in, and she was badly outnumbered.

Escaping to the oasis, she spotted Yue and Katara. It started off as such a beautiful day, the sun shining bright above the tribe, making the ice glitter.

The snow turned black in the blink of an eye. Sokka and Yue came barreling down on Appa, rushing back to the tribe. It was frightening, seeing the once sparkling fountains turn a musty grey.

But, here Y/N was, rushing to the two girls in the warm oasis, moonlight leading her on the path.

“Katara!” Y/N called, sliding as fast as she could along the walls. She crossed the bridge, skidding to a stop when she saw both Yue and Katara standing over Aang. “Oh- Princess,” Y/N bowed clumsily, so out of breath she could barely still herself.

“No need for formalities, Y/N.” Yue said kindly.

“What’s going on? We’re being attacked bad out there!” She exclaimed, pointing over the entrance wall to the oasis.

“The Avatar is communing with the spirits. He’s looking for help.” Yue stated, looking almost solemnly down at Aang.

“He’s fine. We just need to make sure his body doesn’t move.” Katara slid down the base of a tree.

Y/N gave out a groan, feeling just as helpless as before. “He’ll be fine, Y/N. He got out all those people back at that village because of Hei Bai, remember?” Katara reassured her as she sat down next to her, staring at the back of Aang’s head.

“Maybe we should get some help.” Yue began to walk over to one of the bridges. “No, he’s our friend. We are perfectly capable of protecting him.” Katara stated, giving her a hopeful smile.

“Well, aren’t you a big girl now.” A scary familiar voice called from the other side of the oasis. “No...” Katara said, as if it would simply make the figure walking towards them go away.

“Yes.” The banished prince said, stopping at the end of one of the bridges. “Hand him over and I won’t have to hurt you.”

Katara readied herself, getting into a fighting position as Yue ran to most likely get help. Y/N jumped up, putting herself in front of Aang in a poor attempt to guard him. She was defenseless, all her weapons no match against the firebender.

Zuko began throwing punches of fire to Katara. She fought them off gracefully, using water from around the oasis pond to burn off each hit. Y/N drew one of her swords, readying herself as the two fought closer and closer towards her.

“You again, huh? I thought you would’ve backed off the last time you fought me.” Zuko snarled, bringing back a painful memory of Y/N’s, when he burned the side of her neck and part of her shoulder. The scar was faded now, just discolored, but still noticeable.

Y/N swung her sword out of instinct, fighting him off of both her and Aang. Katara brought out a thick pillar of water, slamming Zuko right in the middle of the chest, throwing him back from her friends. “I see you’ve learned a new trick. But I didn’t come this far to lose to you-“ just as he was about to throw another punch, Y/N ran and tackled him, pinning him and his arms to the ground.

“Do you ever stop monologuing, like ever?” Y/N scoffed, keeping her grip tight despite his skin growing almost unbearably hot. He growled loudly at her, trying to fight her off, but it was no use.

Just as Katara was settling down, Zuko managed one hand out of Y/N’s grasp, throwing her so hard towards a wall. She slammed into it, knocking her out. As she rolled onto the grass, Katara watched as blood began to seep from her ears.

Katara couldn’t do anything. She needed to protect Aang, but she was watching hopelessly as her two defenseless and unconscious friends lay far away from her. Zuko began fighting Katara again, slipping past her with just enough time to grab Aang and escape.

“You rise with the moon. I rise with the sun.” Zuko said, holding Aang by the collar of his shirt. Katara watched, all hope dying from her eyes as he dragged her best friend away. She looked around, locking her eyes back on Y/N. The sun began to rise, lighting the injuries she had endured with the small fight.

“Y/N, hey- come on, wake up.” Katara shook her, helping her sit up. “Where’s Aang? Where’s Zuko?” Y/N said after mumbling something incoherent, blinking from the rising sun.

“He took him. They’re both gone.” Katara’s voice was wobbly. Appa landed just as Y/N was registering what had happened before she was slammed against the ice. “What happened? Where’s Zuko?” Sokka jumped off Appa’s head, helping Yue down too.

“He took Aang. He took him right out from under me.” Katara looked at the ground in defeat. “Y/N! You’re bleeding! Oh, no...” Yue drawled, rushing up to the girl to look at the side of her face.

“Are you okay? What did Zuko do?” Sokka did the same as Yue, inspecting her for any further injuries. “He slammed her against a wall just when she had him pinned down. Then he took Aang.” Katara had tears in her eyes.

“Where did they go?” Sokka asked, more to himself than the three girls and flying lemur beside him.

~.•*✰

Y/N was devastated. The moon spirit was dead, Tui and La were no more. The sky was dark, everything surrounding them was now black and white. The moon was gone.

She could see the pain in Yue’s eyes. After being told her life story, Y/N felt so guilty for not protecting the koi spirits as much as she could’ve.

Katara screamed after Aang as he stepped into the pond. Y/N held her back, allowing him to commune with the spirits again and avenge the fallen spirit. Waterbenders bowed down to the water spirit that was protecting their tribe.

~.•*✰

Iroh solemnly placed the dead koi back into the pond.

“It’s too late. It’s dead.” Katara leaned over to look at the spirit. Iroh’s face lit up with an idea, and he looked over to Yue.

“You have been touched by the moon spirit. Some of its life is in you.”

“Yes, you’re right... it gave me life. Maybe I can give it back.” Yue spoke softly, her voice contrasting against the silence that filled the oasis.

“No!”

“Yue, no!” Sokka and Y/N called at the same time. Sokka reached for her hand, trying to pull her back.

“You can’t do this, Princess.” Y/N pleaded.

“You don’t have to do that.” Sokka tried to tell her.

“It’s my duty, Sokka.” “I wont let you! Your father told me to protect you!”

“I have to do this.” She walked, her hand slipping from Sokka’s grasp. Yue delicately placed her hands atop the fish, letting the life it gave her pass back through to it.

The bright light went out just as quickly as it shone. Yue fell limp, one last breath passing through her lips. Sokka caught her just before she hit the ground, and Y/N had to cover her mouth to stop the sobs.

“She’s gone. She’s gone.” Sokka found his voice, hugging Yue’s body close to him.

“Oh, spirits.” Katara whimpered, hugging Y/N close. It was as if all of them had lost a close friend, even though they had all only known her a few days.

Y/N turned to the sound of soft humming, seeing Sokka’s arms now empty and a puzzled look on his face. She wiped the tears from her eyes, sniffling in confusion.

The fish, now alive, was placed back into the pond, allowing the water to glow a bright white. A misty figure rose from the water, and took the shape of a beautiful young woman that Y/N recognized as Yue. She looked ethereal, practically glowing.

“Goodbye, Sokka. I’ll always be with you. Don’t be afraid of loving the right person, ever.” Her voice echoed across the oasis. Y/N watched quietly as her spirit traced the side of his face, before turning to where she and Katara stood.

“Thank you for showing me kindness. I’ll miss you all dearly.”

Her presence was gone as Sokka looked where she once was. Y/N couldn’t feel any more guilty, walking up to Sokka and pulling him into a hug. He cried quietly into her shoulder, squeezing her so tight she thought he might break one of her ribs.

Sokka has just lost another girl he loved, and he wouldn’t be letting this girl go anytime soon.

~.•*✰

Team Avatar now flew on the back of Appa, riding silently as the sun rose once again.

They all recounted the previous couple of days’ events, from the Fire Nation attack to losing a Princess.

Y/N hadn’t left Sokka’s side, and was there whenever he needed comfort. She had come to terms that he needed time, and that he wasn’t going to be okay for a while.

Little did she know, that his feelings for her has resurfaced since they left. Sokka was grieving, of course, and didn’t want to dump his feeling into Y/N in fear of her not taking him seriously. But Yue’s words stuck with him, and he truly wasn’t going to be afraid of opening himself back up for love.

Weeks passed, and he was growing closer to her every night they camped out. Katara picked up on his feelings, and didn’t hesitate to tell Aang.

The first night he kissed her was under the stars. The two teenagers were stargazing, Y/N telling Sokka everything she knew about each constellation in the sky.

She turned her face to find he wasn’t looking at the sky with her, but rather studying her profile. Before she knew it, he surged forward and pressed his lips to hers. Y/N barely hesitated before kissing him back.

“You will be my always forever.”

A whisper, a promise in the wind. And he meant it.

~.•*✰

a/n: god this request is literally five years old I’m so sorry anon I really tried my hardest. I love this tho lol hope y’all enjoyed

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travllingbunny · 4 years

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The 100 rewatch: 5x02 Red Queen

Note: I’m afraid that I’ll have to delay my review of 7x12 The Stranger a bit longer - maybe till Friday (because I’m busy with work, and I think that one may take a bit more time to finish), but in the meantime, here’s - finally - a continuation of my season 5 rewatch reviews. It happens to be the only seasons I haven’t covered yet - except for 5x01 Eden, which I rewatched a few months ago after 7x02 The Garden, because I wanted to compare the two. I was planned to do Red Queen right afterwards - it’s interesting to compare and contrast Octavia’s character transformations in season 5 and season 7 - but it didn’t pan out that way. But now, @jeanie205 and me have started another joint rewatch during the hiatus, this one of season 5. (She only saw it live, week to week, and hasn’t rewatched it yet, I binged it and this is my second rewatch.)

...............................

I’ve always thought of season 5 as a season with a really strong beginning - the first 3 or 4 episodes are fantastic - which drags a bit in the middle before ending a very strong two-part finale.. The 6-year jump, in terms of storytelling, had both good and bad results. These two opening episodes, Eden and Red Queen, really make the best out of the time jump, with flashbacks about Clarke surviving on her own on a desolated Earth and meeting Madi, and flashbacks of what happened to Wonkru in the bunker. It says a lot that we got half an episode of Clarke surviving on Earth, a full episode plus a bunch of flashbacks in 5x11 about the bunker... and nothing about the Ring (till that one flashback in season 7). It’s because the life on the Ring was so boring and uneventful that the show didn't care to show anything of those 6 years. Clarke’s peaceful life with Madi in Eden also happened off-screen - we only saw their first meeting and their later relationship in the present - but Clarke’s two months of terrible hardship got covered in amazing 20 minutes. But the bunker is where things were the most intense.

If the Ring seems to be just boring everyday life of 7 people who can’t go anywhere for 6 years, and if Clarke got to live in Eden (paradise) with Madi after the purgatory of 40 50+ days in the desert, the bunker is clearly Hell. It is a claustrophobic underground world full of anger, conflict and violence that certainly looks like Hell by the end of the episode.

The last scene, with its horror imagery, reminded me of the current Sanctum storyline in season 7 (both Blodreina and Sheidheda like using skulls as decoration), and the comparison shows exactly why the bunker/Blodreina story worked so well, and why the S7 Sanctum story does not. It’s all about moral ambiguity and keeping the audience on its toes, pulling the rug from under us by making us unsure how to feel about characters and their actions, which Red Queen does so well (and which S7 Sanctum storyline completely fails to do, being very predictable and black and white). Red Queen is so well done and intense that I don’t even mind that Clarke and Bellamy and some of my other favorites aren’t in it.

Timeline: The episode starts 42 days after Praimfaya and ends 46 days after Praimfaya.

The opening scenes take place at the same time when Clarke arrived in Polis and tried to open the door. Clarke's only listed as appearing in this episode because of this repeated scene from Eden. (It’s weird that apparently not just the Temple, but the Tower also apparently fell on the entrance. The Tower is next to the Temple, but I’m not sure if that would really happen?) I’m not sure what exactly caused the rubble to fall down, but this is the moment where everyone loses hope, since they know they probably can’t get out, even though they have 5 years to try to think of the solution.

Niylah has found a bunch of books and some other stuff in the bunker, and one of the books was Ovid’s Metamorphoses, which we now know was Callie Cadogan’s book. (That was a nice Easter Egg in 7x08.) Niylah knows Bellamy used to read to Octavia about Ancient Rome - she must have heard it from her or from Clarke or someone else in Arkadia over the last month or so that she spent with them. It is still surprising she knows about Ovid, specifically. What she doesn’t know when she gives Octavia the book is how symbolic it is of what happens to Octavia throughout this episode - her metamorphosis into Blodreina. (We even see the opening line on screen: “ I intend to speak of forms changed into new entities..”).

Octavia Blake is a character who has undergone more dramatic transformations than any other character on The 100. I wasn’t a big fan of her in some of the early seasons, but now I think that, after what the show has done with her since season 4, she has probably had the best character arc of any character on the show. (Some would say it’s Murphy, but that’s because people like to think of character development as going from bad to good, a positive progression - which is a lot more predictable and done quite often. What the show did with Octavia is much more complex and unexpected.) Her turn to the dark side and subsequent redemption were really well done, and Marie Avgeropoulos is one of the best actors on the show (I’ve always thought so regardless of how I felt about her character at any given time) and pulled off her changes in season 5 so well.

What the episode does really well is maintain ambiguity about Octavia’s development as a leader. The first time you watch it, it’s not clear what is she developing into. Is this a story about a well-meaning but still inexperienced teenage girl becoming a great leader? Well, the cliffhanger of 5x01 showed the fighting pits and the new scary Blodreina look, so it’s already hinted it’s not quite like that. But the episode still makes you root for Octavia, who’s up against not just the difficult circumstances - trapped in the bunker, limited resources - but also tribalism of Skaikru and 11 Grounder clans and a lot short-sighted people who hate and keep fighting each other. You just can’t not root for her when she starts forcing them to obey, near the end of the episode (and it’ certainly comes off as a very badass scene - if a bit unrealistic, since Octavia has only been training in Grounder-style combat for about 7-8 months at that point) - but then things may start getting a little ominous as she repeats the mantra “You are Wonkru, or you are the enemy of Wonkru. Choose!” (“You’re either with us, or against us” statements by political leaders are always worrying), even before the ending, where both Octavia and the bunker look like something out of a horror movie. This entire storyline made the point that unity can’t be forced on people, especially not by a single all-powerful leader, without turning into tyranny and oppression.

What’s also morally ambiguous is advice from the mortally wounded Jaha, which ends up influencing Octavia’s decisions and development as a leader. Jaha was always one of the most morally grey characters - he’s not evil, always had good intentions, but his ruthlessness and willingness to disregard individual lives in the name of the Big Picture of saving “his (collective) people” and his complete confidence that this is the right leadership style, were always very disturbing, and made him the villain in the eyes of - and the lives of - all the young protagonists of the show. In season 4, some of them started seeing his perspective. faced with the similar difficult choices. After Clarke in season 4, Octavia also starts seeing his perspective - which is particularly disturbing because it is the same man who executed her mother for just having a child, and locked her up for a year as a criminal just for being born. But Jaha’s actions in Red Queen are some of his most heroic ever in the show, and he gets a heroic death and a moving death scene... while still being kind of a real d1ck, someone who justifies Aurora’s execution to Octavia by saying her mother made herself “the enemy” and bringing them “closer to death”. In the context, Jaha as an unexpected mentor to Octavia can be seen as something good or at least a necessary for her to develop into a capable leader... Or is it? The line between hero and villain can be very thin. Sure, it helps Octavia resolve the situation, save hundreds of people in the bunker, and apparently unite everyone into Wonkru - but as we see by the end of the episode and the rest of the season, it also ends up making her a tyrant who ends up getting hundreds of her people killed in the name of saving “her people” and delivering them to paradise as a messiah. She becomes the same thing she hated, an oppressor like those who forced her to hide under the floor and killed her mother.

(This dialogue from season 4 is pretty relevant here:

Clarke: You know, he used to be everything that I hated. Maybe he was keeping us together.

Jasper: When Jaha's looking reasonable, it's time to reassess.)

I have to say, however, in spite of all the moral greyness... I can’t stand Kara Cooper. She’s one of the few characters on the show that just piss me off to no end and I can’t find any sympathy for her. I know that it’s different for others, I’ve seen people say they see her perspective, and yes, the show gives her a tragic backstory (losing her father in the Culling on the Ark and her husband in the Second Culling in 4x12)... but this time I can’t bring myself to care, because:

She wants to leave some 1100+ people to die, even though she should be well aware that, even if there is a problem of overpopulation in the bunker*, she really doesn’t have to kill that many people,

She’s a scientist and gives a speech about how the lack of diversity would lead to a massive die-off for plants... Surely she should know that the same would happen to the humans, and that a human race can’t survive with just around 80 people?! which leads me to

She doesn’t care about the survival of the human race and is ready to condemn it to extinction, just so she and a few others would live more comfortably and wouldn’t be in danger of immediate death,

She says she wants to save “her people” - but it’s all about tribalism (Skaikru or not Skaikru?) and not love, and she is a hypocrite, because she is ready to leave a bunch of Skaikru outside the door to die, too,

She is a hypocrite when she acts like Abby did something terrible by opening the bunker door to save Kane (which also saved hundreds of people more than would have otherwise been saved) - basically, she’s like “ Abby, how dare you not prioritize my husband, a guy you didn't even know, over your boyfriend? You're so terrible!" Sure. That makes sense.

Her arguments about why the bunker “belongs” to Skaikru are rubbish: “ "Jaha found it. It belonged to us" - even if we accept the finders-keepers idea, actually, multiple people helped find the bunker. Yes, Jaha was the driving force, but Bellamy found the coin, and Kane, Monty and Gaia all massively contributed to finding it - without Gaia's info they wouldn't have ever found it - as did Indra, and the fighters from Trikru and their allies who guarded the temple so they could do it. She just ignored all these facts. If they had kept the bunker in 4x11, they would have left most of these people out (including Kane and Monty). Oh, and she is now trying to take the bunker back... and she’s ready to leave Jaha himself outside!

And after all of that, she saves her own skin by being the most ruthless one of everyone Octavia sent to the fighting pit and killing them all - and then becomes Octavia’s right hand and sycophant. What integrity!

While many people seem to think that Octavia’s downfall started with the cannibalism during the Dark Year, I think it’s the decision at the end of Red Queen to open the fighting pits and start punishing every crime by throwing people in them. This is her first really bad decision. In practice, this form of “justice” means that you can commit any crime you want if you're good at killing people once you’re in the pit. it fosters a culture of violence - even more so when death matches are entertainment. So, in the end, the guy from Delphi clan who just stole blankets (the Sangedakru delegate Brell demanded death for that - their laws are pretty draconian, makes me wonder in retrospect if Sheidheda was the one who first imposed them) died, while Kara effing Cooper got to live because she was the most ruthless person there. What I think Octavia should have done is - she should have executed the murderers and the leaders of the rebellion and given minor punishments to people who did things like steal blankets. (it's been argued they needed Cooper for the farm - but that was not the reasoning, Octavia left her with everyone else to fight.)

This was Octavia, sadly, combining not the best, but the worst of the Ark system (death as the punishment for every crime or minor misdemeanor), Grounder tradition (death matches as the solution to everything) and her childhood stories of the Ancient Rome. If you're using Ancient Rome gladiator fights as your role model...you've probably stopped being a good guy.

The last scene, fighting pits 6 years later, is similar to the cliffhanger end of the previous episode, only now we get the cliffhanger of Kane being one of the fighters. Octavia is in her full Blodreina mode now. Not just her outward look has changed, but her facial expressions, too - this is the first time we see that cold, sinister Blodreina smile. Indra doesn’t look too happy, Gaia and Ethan are there. Miller- even after that much time - doesn’t look too happy with Cooper being there, by Octavia's side.

This is straight up horror imagery. There is even some sort of structure made of skulls next to where she's sitting! Not exactly a throne of skulls like Sheidheda has in season 7 but something similar.

But here’s why this works so differently than Sheidheda and his throne of skulls in season 7 and why people are bored by the latter. There is no ambiguity in the S7 Sanctum story. Sheiheda is completely, cartoonishly evil, there is nothing complex about it, Murphy is now definitely a good guy, as are Emori and Indra, and none of them are in conflict about how to deal with him (except for a short moment in 7x09, which was OOC for Indra). The only characters that we may still wonder 'what are they gonna do? which side will they take?" are minor, underdeveloped characters like Nikki, or Knight (you're in trouble when your main question is "will Knight change sides?"). It's a very simple black and white story, the kind t100 normally doesn't do and Shady’s throne of . But when Octavia has her face painted in blood, has skulls next to her, and a creepy smile while she’s deciding the fate of the winner, that is genuinely disturbing because it's Octavia. You’ve followed her for seasons, and you’ve spent the whole episode rooting for her to solve the problems and deal with those really awful and annoying people... and then she does, and oh my god, suddenly she turns into a villain, and that’s chilling.

Other observations:

I love the Kabby scene where they're talking while chained up in the farm, while a guy is playing guitar in the background. I think Abby was pretty unfair to Kane when she said he took away her choice to kill herself - because she didn’t try to kill herself, she tried to make Kane kill her, and then she expected him to be able to do it, even though she never could: not only did she open the bunker door to save Kane, she destroyed the radiation chamber (possibly dooming thousands of people) because she couldn’t allow Clarke to risk her life (in 4x08). Kane may be more of a “Head” than “Heart” of the two of them, but Abby should have realized he wouldn’t be able to carry her unconscious body (or even let someone else do it) and let her die of radiation. He loves her and he doesn’t really have anyone else. Abby really seemed to be taking out her own self-loathing out on him. It was still a sweet moment when he finally dropped the pretense that he saved her for being a doctor and admitted it was a Heart decision, and she finally admitted she would do the same and never regretted opening the bunker door to save him.

But we get a hint about that Abby has already developed a pill addiction, which will strain and almost destroy their relationship. Kabby was a really well written relationship - we saw them falling in love over 4 seasons (which rarely happens with romantic relationships on this show) - but then we also saw that being together and loving each other is not enough to be “happy ever after”, not when you live in f*cked up circumstances and when you both have to deal with all sorts of problems. Love can’t conquer everything, which is more realistic way to depict romance.

Mackson actually have some screentime in this episode. This is actually the first time we see that they are together (after a brief flirting scene in season 4). I had forgotten that Miller says the L word in this episode: "You're a healer, nor a fighter. That's why I love you.” I thought “This was pretty fast” - but when you take into account they’ve been together for a couple of months, it’s actually not that fast compared to most of the romances on the show... It’ just that most of their relationships happens off-screen.

So Level C (which Cooper and her people took over) was where Cadogan planned to be with his family if the rest of the bunker goes to hell. Makes sense he’d do something like that.

Indra was already not a fan of the Commanders at this point, telling Gaia: "Your real Commanders would have left you to burn", "the spirits of the Commanders have abandoned us"

We got two Wells mentions in this episode! One when Jaha was reading a children’s book (apparently The Giving Tree - thanks @jeanie205) to Ethan, and says it was his son's favorite bedtime story, and another one when Jaha is dying and says “Take me to my wife. Take me to Wells”.

ALIE would be proud of these people: they all keep repeating “There are too many people in this bunker” throughout the episode. Thanos would be proud of them, too. Why not instead say: “There aren’t enough resources in this bunker”? No worries then, they will manage to get 1/3 of those people killed - 814 will remain instead of 1200 by the time they get out of the bunker... What few characters in the show ever seem to realize are too few people for the human race to survive. That is, if they weren't lucky to always be running into more humans, and then everyone blows it away by killing each other, again.

A few lines in this episode feel like dark foreshadowing:

Abby makes the first mention of cannibalism, a dark period in Ark’s history called the “Blight"

"It won't be that easy", says Octavia to Cooper when Cooper wanted to kill herself. One could say the same when Octavia tried to sacrifice herself and die in 5x12

"I'll take care of the boy” - Octavia promises to Jaha to take care of little Ethan, just as Jaha promised to Ethan’s father. That didn't turn out so well in the end...

Rating: 9/10

#the 100 #the 100 rewatch #the 100 5x02 #red queen #the 100 season 5 #octavia blake #blodreina #thelonius jaha #marcus kane #abby griffin #kabby #anti kara cooper #indra kom trikru #indra #wonkru #mackson #nate miller

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livefordrama · 3 years

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Reviewing Dramas I Have Watched Part 8

Again, here is my rating system: 1- Did not like, 2- Enjoyed but probably wouldn’t watch again, 3- Enjoyed and would watch some episodes again/may watch again, 4- Enjoyed and would watch again, 5- Loved

Korean Drama

My Strange Hero: 4

Trigger Warning: Suicide, Bullying, Verbal and Emotional Abuse

My Strange Hero is about a man named Bok-su (which stands for revenge), who was falsely accused by his friend and girl friend of shoving his friend off the school roof and expelled from high school. Now nine years later, he gets the opportunity to return to school but he isn’t just going to go back nicely, seeing the seemingly cozy lives those who betrayed him are living he decides to enact his revenge by proving how corrupt the high school and the people working in it are. However, his plans for revenge get more difficult to achieve when he begins to fall for his ex-girlfriend once again.

This show was cute and interesting, it made me mad and lot and Yoo Seung-ho never disappoints. I ended up watching it in less than a week with studying and all so it draws you in really fast. I absolutely loved the realistic factor of not having to forgive everyone for a good ending and to move on. Many shows, kdrama or otherwise, make characters forgive even those who did horrible things to them just for a good ending, and it’s not always that simple nor do you owe those who did horrible things to you an apology to be a good person and move on looking at you Missing Nine. However my main complaint with it is that the ending isn’t as impactful or satisfying as the ending three episodes previous. I’m glad they had the three ending episodes because the other characters got more closure, I just wish they would have made it as impactful as the ending of episode 29. It is about thirty minutes an episode so it’s a really fun and interesting watch if you need something on the shorter side. I highly recommend!

Love Alarm (Season 1): 3

Trigger Warning: Bullying, Suicide, PTSD, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Abuse

Love Alarm deals with the concept of having an app that can read your emotions and alerts your phone when you are in 10 meters of someone who loves you or alerts your crushes phone if they are within the 10 meters. It follows Jojo, a girl with a mysterious and sad past, who can’t download Love Alarm because of her phone. She is in an unhappy relationship and begins to have feelings for the new student. After being kind to a student, he gives her the phone and she can finally download it only to find that love is a lot more complicated than she originally expected.

Okay, I started this show because the new season was coming out and everyone was freaking out about it. I had been avoiding it all this time because I love Song Kang and have been following his work since his smaller roles, hoping he would get bigger roles. I was so excited when I first heard he would be the main here but couldn’t ever bring myself to watch it cause I don’t like romance love triangles and already knew he was playing the webtoon second lead which made it worse. Plus I have a trauma with anything that has Kim So-Hyun in it. I adore her acting, she is so good, too good. She just always plays in really sad, dark Kdramas and I always like the second leads in her shows so I just get sad and angry when I watch her shows. I at the time just didn’t feel like dealing with being annoyed and finally got in the mood to watch a cheesy love triangle romance. *spoiler alert* I can confidentially say that while no character and no ship is necessarily healthy, I do prefer Sun-ho to Hye-yeong. No, not because he is played by Song Kang, in the first few episodes I hated his character. I wanted to punch him so badly, but with all his immature flaws he did do some mature things. He told Hye-yeong to not fight over Jojo and to let her pick which I loved because, shows like to have the two people fight amongst themselves who gets the crush and that’s so stupid to me, Jojo is a person with feelings too and she might not like either so I loved that he said that. I also loved that instead of telling Hye-yeong not to pursue Jojo because he still loved her, he told Jojo to stay away from Hye-yeong so that he wouldn’t be hurt by her like Sun-ho was. He still loved her but his friend came first, and I felt horrible when he lost almost everyone who genuinely loved him. Hye-yeong is okay, but he isn’t even a healthier option, he literally stalks her all the time without her even knowing about it, he memorized her daily routine, where he’s going to college so he could move there to be around her, it’s just too creepy to me. Yes, Sun-oh stalked her too and that is not okay at all, but he made his presence known so that she can voice if she was uncomfortable or knew to call someone if she felt threatened, Hye-yeong sneaks around and doesn’t even talk to her and that’s super creepy to me. I just think they are both immature and personally with some growth I think Sun-oh is more fitting than Hye-yeong cause the two really do seem like they are in love with each other while Jojo and Hye-yeong seem like a crush that will turn out to be more platonic. I know it’s wishful thinking but that’s just my hopes. *spoiler over* I did really love this show actually, sometimes you just need a trashy dramatic romance. Yes, it had toxic behaviors but I still liked it, it felt like a realistic teenage couple in high school (minus Mr. Stalkery Stalks.) I think that not everything has to be analyzed, I enjoyed the cute romantic scenes at face value, even though I knew they weren’t healthy. If it happened to me in real life, I would have punched a bitch but it’s fun to watch on a screen.

Blood: 2

Trigger Warnings: Blood, Suicide, Terminal illness, Murder, Abuse.

Blood is about a surgeon who is also a vampire. He tries to control his vampire self and help humans while working on a way to make himself human. When he transfers to a new hospital things take a turn for the weird as the patients of the new ward start exhibiting symptoms he is all too familiar with.

Blood was really good for the first two thirds of the series. I watched it before I found out about the main couples real life situation but continued to enjoy it because it’s none of my business what they do in their personal lives (so please don’t message or leave comments about that situation or your opinions on it.) Both couples were super cute and there were some plot twists that admittedly got me. I liked the story line and the idea that vampires were viruses that doctors were researching in secret. I really got hooked for most of the story; however, the last few episodes felt almost like they switched writers and the new writer had never watched the previous episodes. Comments were made that never were brought up again, like the thirty minutes of vaguely discussing his parents and who he was as an infectee that was never even slightly brushed upon for the rest of the episodes let alone resolved. Not to mention that last episode was a total mess and the ending sucked. The last two episodes are not canon in my mind that’s how weirdly out of place for the show they felt, it was like a 180. The ending was so confusing and I just really hated how it all played out. Because of this, I give the show a 2 cause I did enjoy it a lot but I won’t watch it again. Once of that was enough.

Legend Hero: 4

Legend Hero, also known as Legend Hero Samgugjeon or Legends Heroes the Three Kingdoms, is about people who compete in a dream battle to acquire their ultimate dream. The main character acquired three spirit helpers which help him in combat by transforming him into an armored knight with special power, and later befriends angels who help him in the battles by boosting this power. He has to fight friend and foe alike to achieve his ultimate dream but that begs the question, is a dream really worth it?

I really enjoyed this show, it was admittedly difficult to get into at first but once I did, I was hooked. The characters were so cute and endearing, the plot had humor, angst, and fluff alike. The acting was a little silly at points but it was made for kids so it’s a little overdramatic. It was all around a very entertaining watch, I watched the whole series while on vacation during the resting hours when my family and I were lazing around the hotel and it was such a refreshing, happy, lazy watch. I highly recommend for those who enjoy a happy watch when they just wish to relax.

Web-Drama/Mini-Series

Power Rangers Dino Force Brave: 4

Power Rangers Dino Force Brave, while technically a sequel to the super sentai series, is a original stand alone production and sSouth Korean take on the power rangers series. While the power rangers finally enjoy the peace that had come to the earth, a new threat is brewing. The Neo-Deboth Army has arrived looking for the power of the dinosaur king, the power ranger once more have to come together to defeat this threat.

This show was super interesting and cute. I have never seen any of the power ranger series so I am entirely inexperienced when it comes to their world. However, I can confidentially say this is a good stand alone as I was not confused while watching it. The first episode got recommended to me on youtube and since I was bored and unsure of what to do, I decided to watch it. I believe I finished the whole series in only a few days. It was super cute and I liked how ironic and silly the ending was with all the characters, including the evil ones dancing together. I’m sure die hard power rangers fans hated that but as someone who knows nothing about the series, I found it quite hilarious. The plot itself was entertaining and cool, it had some angst moments and some cute moments. I loved the ending, but that’s all I will say about that.

Founder of Diabolism Q: 3

Founder of Diabolism Q is simply snippets of cute or funny scenes from the book that didn’t make it into the series or at least not in as much detail. It follows many characters in small, five minute long episodes and the shenanigans they get in to.

Founder of Diabolism Q was super cute! I have watched The Untamed and read some of the book but haven’t watch the actual anime yet. Still, I decided to watch this short series. I watched each episode as it came out and loved every one. There isn’t much to say on it though, other than it was super cute and if you love The Untamed or its adaptions, I highly recommend. Just make sure you watch or read one of the full adaptions first otherwise you will be very confused.

Imaginary Cat: 4

Trigger Warning: Depression, Suicide, Vomit, Illness, Death

Imaginary Cat is about an aspiring webtoon artist who, after loosing his crush and falling into a depression, finds a cat in an alley and takes her in. He is able to recover from the loss and get back into writing when he meets a girl who is obsessed with cats especially after she lost her kitten as a child. He is just trying to get his webtoon accepted and she just wants to get close to him and his cat.

This was such a cute little easy watch, but was really sad at some points throughout the series. I teared up through some scenes and laughed so hard through others. I also related a lot to how the main plays with his cat, especially when said cat wants none of it. It was a really nice mini-drama to watch in the very little time I had between studying and moving house. I thoroughly enjoyed it and would highly recommend to those who want a easy watch that’s a little sad and very cute.

Korean Movies

The Magician: 4

Trigger Warning: Blood, Abuse, Drugs, Suicide Attempt, Murder, Death

The Magician is set in the Joseon Era and follows the famous magician, Hwan-hee. He along with his blind friend Bo-eum ran away from their abusive caretaker as children and are still worrying about being found by him even to this day as they perform to keep their livelihoods. Meanwhile a noble lady who was sold to the Qing dynasty comes to town. The two end up running into each other and quickly fall in love, however they both have to overcome the obstacles in their way in order to be together.

I loved this movie, I had to pause a few times just to process how much I personally enjoyed it. I wish I was able to watch it in a better quality because I never once saw how his one eye was blue, I just took their word and the movie poster for it. Unfortunately, it was the only place I could find to watch so I took what I could. The only reason I am giving it a four instead of a five is the ending sucked. I hated the ending. It just felt unnecessary and honestly really pissed me off. I don’t always need a happy ending but I also didn’t need that kind of ending either. I would still recommend it to those who like angst with some romance and a open-ish ending.

Seondal The Man Who Sells the River: 5

Trigger Warnings: Blood, Death, Vomit, Gore

Seondal is supposedly a comedy about a group of swindlers who become fast family after escaping from a war they were drafted in. They work together to swindle their way into riches and out of dangerous situations. They gained a huge name in the Joseon dynasty for even swindling the king. However, after tragedy strikes, they decide to do their greatest job yet, sell a river of fake gold.

The movie was really good, both funny and heartbreaking. My friend and I watched it together thinking it would be a nice comedy after we watched some sad kdrama earlier that week however, it was most certainly not. We both ended up crying and raging. So just be warned it claims to be a comedy and it is hilarious for the first half of the movie, however it quickly turns dark so fast you are just sitting their in shock wondering what happened. I thought Xiumin’s acting was great and his character was adorable. I had not seen his acting before and he easily became a favorite. The movie’s plot and writing kept you engaged and entertained throughout and the ending was great in my opinion. Overall it was a really good watch, I have seen it twice now and thoroughly enjoyed it. I highly recommend to those who enjoy both comedy and angst.

#kdrama review #review #kdrama #my strange hero #love alarm #founder of diabolism q #founder of diabolism #the untamed #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #Imaginary cat #The magician #blood #seondal the man who sells the river #power rangers #power rangers dino force brave #legend hero #legend hero samgugjeon #legends heroes the three kingdoms

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claudiafekete · 3 years

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This is another ordinary story of “how xxx fandoms changed my life” -

- or maybe not. you decide. I want to write it down. trigger warning for politics, discussion of sexual violence, mild gender dysphoria It’s also horribly long. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

When I first came to tumblr, I had just graduated from APH. Short for Axis Power Hetalia. I learned about it in the form of manga. For years it was my everything - I learned what fanfic or fanart meant and I learned the basic online etiquette. As I grew in years, it accompanied me.

Until it didn’t.

Shortly after I fell into solangelo.

It’s a fun story, how I picked up PJO years after years of absence. My brother was whining about something written in Magnus Chase. “What do you think the Norse Gods were going to do to Percy that Annabeth was crying?” He demanded. I expressed my confusion. He kept on with his different theories and I made the decision to look it up online later.

My online search of Percy Jackson’s fate soon revealed something unknown to me before: solangelo. The first canon gay ship I ever knew. Therefore, at the ripe old age of 19, I threw myself into this endless hole called “tumblr” for the first time.

It was the most LGBTQ+ friendly place I had ever been. I joke you not. It was also the place where I was taught not only how a healthy relationship should look like, but also how sex should or could be like. You don’t learn anything healthy about sex in Chinese or Mandarin using fandom, at least during the years I was in them. There were rigid 攻/受(roughly translated as top/bottom) stereotypes that everyone rushed to squeezed their characters into them. A lot of time though both person might ship A with B, they wouldn’t interact because one thought A should top and another thought B should top. Their different topping designation resulted in depictions of the characters’ personalities so dramatically differed that you couldn’t recognize them as the same characters. Other than the refreshing relationship dynamics, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard offered me a chance to take a look at my gender identity. I had known that theoretically non-binary people existed outside of binary gender, but I hadn’t known how one might live as one or describe themselves as one. I’m not trying to claim that Alex Fierro’s story is the only story of non-binary people. I’m trying to say that it was the starting point for me to make exploration and find the label “agender” for myself.

I stayed in APH for 6 years. I had expected to stay in solangelo for longer.

Entered June 2019 with its whispers and anxious demonstrations. Entered folks pouring into streets in Hong Kong. Entered tear gas and facemasks and sticks and a bullet scarcely missing the heart and journalists beaten by police. Entered young students not of age disappearing mysteriously. Entered people dressed in white attacking citizens and not arrested by police. Entered dead bodies that were probably “被自殺 (being suicided)”.

Entered a city falling into the hands of tyrants next to your door, and you didn’t know how to help. You didn’t know what to do with yourself with your clean and spare hands. You were so far away from the frontline, you were angry and helpless and hopeless for that.

It was the first time I witnessed, first-hand, how the Chinese government directed the discussion online, so that it seemed as if there were random mobs who were disturbing the peace of Hong Kong and possibly taking money or being trained by US. “Bullshit. Would there still be so many kids hurt on street if we have received any kinds of training for this?“ Of course, the majority of Chinese people inland wouldn’t hear that. Hong Kong is a former colony. Any calls of outrage toward the present government must be made by disillusioned young people who were unaware of colonization and imperialism.

That was why I took refugee in Good Omens. I needed to run some where to stop myself from scratching myself to blood. I needed to some works for these clean and spare hands to do so that they wouldn’t pick up something destructive, such as a knife.

If the PJOverse fandom had felt the best place on earth, well, the Good Omens fandom lifted me into paradise.

I’ve never seen so much kindness being showed under one tag. The creators and actors were all kind and interacted with the fans in their own ways. We were encouraged to do everything, anything, to build art with it however we liked. We as fans were recognized. We were seen. We were ... cared for. It was overwhelming, in a good way. For that, I would be forever thankful to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and Michael Sheen and so many others in the production. I would be forever thankful to artists who liberated body types and freed the ties between gender expression and genitals. I would be forever thankful for the fantastic creators out there.

Would it seem as if I’ve only cherished the mutuals I met in Good Omens fandom? It wasn’t my intention. There are friends I keep in touch long after I fell out of love with APH. There are mutuals I got to know through solangelo and I feel, I hope that we are friends. Everyone who has chat with me I do my best to remember. (Though I do left conversation in weird places, become so ashamed of my incompetency that I do not continue them.)

What I’m trying to say is, as good as the solangelo fandom was, I still ran into biphobic posts here and there. It was only once or twice – but it was a constant reminder that being bisexual didn’t seem “valid” to some of the other LGBTQ+ members out there. Who cares what cis-gendered, heteronormative people said? Bullets that shot from friendly fire hurt the worst.

Besides, with a large and vibrant fandom like Good Omens, it’s easier to feel less alone and more… seen.

Damn right. Even after writing more that 5000 words in English it is still so easy to fall back into the comfortable nest of mother tongue. I can read simplified Chinese characters as well as the traditional Chinese characters I grow up using. There probably will never be getting the accent right but soundlessly devouring words in front of a screen? I excel at that.

That was what’s happening when the days rolled into January, 2020. I flew to US as an exchange student and exchanged long letters with a young Chinese woman I met in Good Omens fandom. I’ve never felt so alone in life. English as in creative writing has never come more naturally for me. The words burst in my head and arranged themselves freely on screen or on papers. I’ve never felt more hopeful about my writing ability.

The days rolled into March, 2020.

The first time my mom told me to come home over home, I laughed. The second time, I frowned. Before she pleaded me for the third time, I had grabbed a ticket.

I hadn’t imagined the disease plaguing China and its neighboring countries would affect the whole world.

You lived the rest of the story. I fled back to Taiwan.

That was where Doctor Who came in. Or David Tennant. Such a strange time. For fourteen days I was the only living human in the house. I watched Casanova – or was it later? Hamlet definitely came before that. Then I could live with my family again. I handed in my homework and wrote in a different language than the people around me were speaking. My parents were working. My little brother was in school. When there was no one to talk to me I either read or watch Doctor Who to pass the time. I fell for Thirteen. I fell for twissy. Falling fast and hard and completely won over by their glamour.

I started internship. There were some small breaks where I could catch an episode or half, but never as much time as before. I dipped into fandom wiki and found that no matter how much research I did, there would always be details I overlooked simply because I could not afford hours watching all the episodes. No matter how hard I squeezed my schedule for time, no matter how much I devoted myself to the series, it would never be enough.

So I gave up, and let it go. For the first time in quite a while, I willingly gave up something for the simple reason of “I want to live a more comfortable life”.

Came summer. Damp air combined with biting heat and piles after piles of biochemical terms made life agonizing. An ordinary kind of pre-pandemic “agonizing” which felt like a luxury in a world that was ending.

Hong Kong fell.

It was bound to happen. Once I heard protestors fought their way into the legislature I knew, for almost an year I knew, nothing good would come out of this. CCP would never allow its subjects acting out of hand. With such open despise to the authority, CCP would take nothing but a full conquest at the end of it.

See where we are now. As long as you’re “interfering” the political climate “inside” China, it doesn't matter which nationality you hold or where you were or how long it has been since you made the statement. “According to the law”, China can come for you. No, better, it can tell your country to hand you over. What a clever empire. What a graceful empire.

What a horrifying empire.

With the news I spiraled down fast. I kept away from the young Chinese woman I was exchanging letters with, I kept away from any kinds of Chinese social media, and the worst of all, I kept away from Good Omens, for it was sweet and kind and hopeful, for it reminded me of a time where fighting seemed to make a difference. I was empty and exhausted and a husk. Something must come out to fill the void. Someone needed to paint me in colors so that the world wouldn’t notice I was fading away.

I was surprised at who took the brush.

After ten years, the first man I ever have a crush on strolled back into my life.

He was over thirty, but I always pictured him in his early twenties. Dark hair, eyes of grey or silvery blue. Loud laughter that sounded like a bark. Swift and elegant. Intelligent. Prideful. Stubborn. I embraced him as I’ve done ten years ago as a little child.

When I looked past him, I saw someone else.

Worn, weathered, with wry humor. Attentive and considerate. Tortured by the world yet never stop giving out kindness. Countless scars. Grey hair unfitting to his age. I didn’t pay him much attention ten years ago. This time, I looked.

Let me introduce you Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, my very first crush and the man who is too much like my last crush.

2020, a month before Fall semester started, I trekked cautiously, timidly back into Harry Potter fandom.

The fandom of August 2020 was very different from fandom of 2010. The lack of author, for one – it became mandatory to denounce the author’s transphobic statement and other bigotry setting. I’m glad that everyone is doing their best to make it a friendly place for minority groups. Though I’m afraid, by making it a white or black situation with short statements and no discussion, it wouldn’t really help people understand why she is wrong in this. However irrefutable the author’s guilt seems to us, it is not something obvious to those who are unfamiliar with the subjects.

But it does feel good to see blogs and fics with the introduction such as “If you support the author’s transphobic bullshit this place does not welcome you”. It feels reliving.

The second was, I found the type of work I’m actively pursuing changed.

Back when I was young – when I was so little I didn’t even know what the word “fandom” meant – I read Character x OFC and some M x M. During the APH period I read an alarming amount of M x M and countless historical AU. When digging through solangelo, beside the canon divergence stories, simple AU like coffee shop grabbed my attention. Coming out stories were my comforts. The best of Good Omens fics were either in canon verse discussing desires, bravery, humanity and mortality, or setting in an AU with the promise of sweet, fluffy endings. Doctor Who almost always focused on Time and Space. Love was twisted and so often tainted by anger. Monster and god were very alike.

I came a full circle back to the Marauder era, and found myself not looking for heroes, but for young fighters struggling desperately in a seemingly hopeless war. I looked for people who were frightened but never, never ever going down without a fight.

I used to find characters and events unfolding in foreign places, now I want characters who are close to what I am or what I want to be.

---

So, that’s it, my grand journey through multiple fandoms and basically a journey of self-discovery. It’s messy, sometimes painful, but always with so much joy blooming along the way.

Something doesn’t change. I’m still obsessed with words. I’m still a sucker for happy ending. I’m still wishing someone will come and love me the way I need to be loved.

Something does. I stop imagining that some magical power will come into my life and solve everything. I stop looking for others to save me from myself. I start believing that though wounds hurt, some of them do teach us to be a better person.

Long ago, I saw my friends and I as rabbits, without proper weapons to defend ourselves. That wouldn’t do. I thought. For my friends I’ll grow into a snake with fangs to protect them. Maybe I have grown into a snake. Maybe I haven’t. But I do hope I won’t stop fighting for those I love, with those I love.

I hope I won’t give up.

#APH #axis power hetalia #pjo #percy jackson #solangelo #tw: politics #tw: sex mention #magnus chase #magnus chase and the gods of asgard #alex fierro #hong kong extradition bill #hong kong demonstration #good omens #doctor who #tw: personal review of pandemic #harry potter #sirius black #remus lupin #hong kong national security law

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

#lovely anon #BY THE WAY: do not feel bad or apologise for not answering straight away #you can take your time i know it can be exhausting (not bc its anything bad but just because its so much and so long) to answer to my shit #all at once*#so really i don‘t mind if you take a few days or a week or whatever to respond #or if you want to you can respond bit by bit/topic by topic whenever you feel like it #so you don‘t have to concentrate on an ask and my post for like AN HOUR DLSKJ but rather do it in smaller chunks #if you want <3 #btw i‘m always so scared that i‘ll type lonely anon instead of lovely dldjdjsksk so if i ever do that i‘m just being #(cue your autocorrect dldkdj) a dumb bitch #its 1 am now sorry if there are any mistakes (i‘ll stop apologing from now now lol but i still am sorry you have to read my word vomit lmao)#*apologis #*from now on #omg

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puddygeeks · 4 years

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Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 39: Sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ Cʜᴀɴᴄᴇs

Masterlist

Episode: Blood Must Have Blood - Part Two

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for.

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

There was a blaring alarm that exploded into action and startled me from my thoughts. An orange light from underneath the door caught my attention and I bolted to a standing position to rush out of the room. The hall was filled with the flashing of the orange lights and the sharp tones of the alarm was almost deafening. I couldn’t decide whether this was a good or bad sign as I assessed that it could be triggered by the bunker doors opening if they had finished the transplants. My mind filled with the image of the citizens of the mountain stepping out into the open air, leaving the bodies of our people in a heap and I broke into a run. I was several levels from five where the dorms were and I understood that danger could be lurking around any corner but I was beyond any rational thought processes. The only thing that I could focus my frantic mind on was the overpowering desire to reach the dorms at any cost.

I ran through several floors and crossed the length of each level in search of the next staircase in a distracted blur. The constant pulsing sound of the alarm pushed me forward and my legs shook with panic. I felt adrenaline surging through me and it overrode the heavy tiredness from earlier. I turned the corner into a long hallway and was disoriented by the flashing of the lights, causing me to barely register the movement at the other end. The distracting sound of the alarms almost completely masked the crack of the gunshot and I leapt to the side a second too late. I felt a jolt of pain in my side as the bullet scraped me and I was struck with fright as I realised how close I had been to death.

I sprinted toward the guard as he frantically hit the side of the pistol and I prayed that it would remain jammed for long enough for me to reach him. There were barely a few steps remaining between us when I heard the click that signalled it was ready to fire again and as he pointed the gun at me, I pummelled into him. The force that I was able to muster was far larger than usual due to the adrenaline and I slogged him in the face with an unnecessary brutality. He struggled against my grip and I had to use my legs to anchor myself against him. In a rapid manoeuvre he used my weight against me as he struck me in the face and I rolled onto my back with a thump. He frenziedly stretched out for the gun that had been knocked from his grip in the collision and I kicked my legs to block him.

The shift in posture caused his body to press on me as we fought for our lives. His weight pinned me in position and I was unable to reach anything to defend myself with. He finally managed to snatch the gun from my side and I gulped in dread. I cried out as I squirmed desperately beneath him in a vain effort to prevent him from aiming efficiently and although it slowed his movements, I knew that I was only buying time. His hand approached my head despite my best efforts and in a last manic bid to survive, I lifted my shoulders to lean forward and bite him with as much ferocity as I could manage. As my teeth sunk into his arm, he cried out in pain and dropped the gun. I didn’t waste a single second in seeking out my boot and grasped the last knife that I had hidden in there tightly. I plunged it into his chest with a scream and pulled it out only to repeat the action several times over until he collapsed lifelessly onto me.

I laid back on the floor, panting as I tried to recover from what I’d just done and I felt my heart pounding in my chest. My legs shook dramatically and I could feel my blood rushing to my head. I worried that I might collapse as my body trembled and I tried to refocus on my goal even as I felt too weak to move. The alarm seemed to have gotten fainter and I was sure that I heard a voice calling out between the pulsating sounds. I forced myself to an unsteady standing position and dusted myself off as I strained to listen.

“Indigo!” My stomach lurched as I made out the muffled call of my name in the distance and I turned to face both directions in an effort to place the sound. It was impossible to tell if I’d even truly heard it between the overpowering honk of the alarm and I started to wonder if I’d simply imagined it.

“Indigo!” The voice became frantic as it rang out again and I felt all of the colour drain from my face as a pang of familiarity gripped my chest in response.

“Bellamy?” I whispered and even as the word left my lips I was hardly able to believe what I was saying. I felt foolish for even considering it but I knew his voice better than I knew my own. I took a few slow steps forward and felt as if I was in a trance. I’d heard Bellamy’s voice in my head several times since I’d been trapped here but this seemed different and I couldn’t resist the overpowering urge to follow it.

“Bellamy, is that you?” I cleared my throat and called back lightly, almost frightened to speak too loudly. A few seconds passed without a response and I waited with a growing anxiety. Although I knew that he had been alive and within the mountain for hours according to the report of others, I hadn’t been able to truly comprehend the weight of this information. I’d been making choices based on the idea that he might need my help, but I hadn’t allowed myself to develop any significant hope that it was true. At any time I’d started to believe that I may have the chance to see him again, I quashed it by reminding myself of the odds of his survival.

“Indigo! Where are you?!” The voice grew panicked, even desperate and I began to struggle to tell myself that it wasn’t him with any conviction. I jogged toward the next stairwell in a daze and took myself a level closer to five. I emerged on the next floor and navigated through the identical hallways with difficulty. My mind was racing as I hoped for him to call out again and I was too afraid to shout first in fear that I had imagined it. I got disoriented after turning several corners and I realised that I may have turned myself around in my hazy lack of concentration.

“Indigo!” I heard his voice much clearer with his next call and my heart leapt into my throat. It sounded close now and my eyes immediately filled with tears at this thought. I quickened my pace as I broke into a run through the halls, unable to remember where I was supposed to be going any longer. I couldn’t think about anything but reaching the source of the voice as Bellamy’s face flashed through my consciousness.

“Bellamy!” I called back for the first time in a firm, hopeful way and I was sure that I could hear rapid footsteps approaching. I touched the wall as I zipped around a corner in an effort to throw myself around it faster and I had no attention remaining on my surroundings.

“INDIGO!” He bellowed back and his voice seemed to have reached a frenzied point now that he’d heard me respond. I hurtled around the next corner, unsure if I was getting any closer or if he’d just been louder in his urgency. I was panting as I forced myself to keep moving and searched for him. I turned into a painfully long hallway and I caught a glimpse of movement at the far end as something passed the entrance. I registered the telltale black mop of hair, the brown and white guards uniform that the others had reported him to be wearing and I knew from the large stature exactly who I’d just seen. For a moment, I thought I had seen a ghost and I found myself wondering if I’d finally cracked under the emotional strain.

“BELLAMY!” I screeched as I paused on the spot in disbelief. I heard the pounding of boots before he appeared at the end of the hall. We stood for a fleeting few moments, staring back at each other doubtfully before he broke into a run again.

I fell into a sprint as I tore forward with a desperation that I couldn’t control and there were already tears escaping me at just the sight of him. He looked exhausted, even from a distance and the moment was made more surreal by seeing him wearing the uniform of the Mount Weather guards. Although we were both moving as quickly as we could carry ourselves, it felt as if time slowed as we charged at each other. I was almost crushed under the weight of my relief and I found myself no longer caring if this were a hallucination. Whatever it was that allowed me to see him in front of me, I was thankful for it.

I could hardly breathe as I took the last few steps and his arms were wide open to me. I practically launched myself at him as we collided and he lifted me into his grip. I felt such a sense of elation at his embrace that it made me feel almost completely weightless as my feet left the ground. I clung to him with a vice like force as my arms closed around his shoulders and his fell to my waist. No amount of willpower could prevent the tears from streaming down my cheeks and I knew that I was likely soaking his shirt but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I prayed that the moment would never end as I felt the familiar safety in his arms that I had craved almost every second since I saw him last. I slowly became aware of the hole in my chest gradually shrinking with every overjoyed heartbeat. He moved one of his hands from my waist to the back of my head to stroke my hair gently. He sniffed lightly beside my ear and I knew that he was battling his emotions too.

After what seemed like an eternity of holding each other, I felt myself returning to the ground as he lowered me and my boots touched the floor so gently that it was obvious he was savouring every moment too. He pulled away from me with a painful reluctance and although he stepped back to view me, he kept his hands on my arms to stop me from moving out of his reach. I gazed up at him in amazement, drinking up every detail of how he looked with a feeling of disbelief.

“This can’t be happening.” I breathed and he furrowed his brow at me. “You died!” I whispered and my voice cracked as I spoke. I quickly wiped the tears away so that I could still see him clearly, not wanting to take my eyes off him for a single moment. His resolve broke as he looked down at me through watery eyes.

“I thought I’d lost you.” He muttered under his breath as he viewed me with such a pained expression that it only fueled my doubt in this reality. Although losing him had been soul destroying for me and our time apart had allowed me to realise the depth of my feelings for him, I never anticipated that he would struggle without me. I started to feel as if I couldn’t trust what I was seeing and I craved some reassurance that would allow me to enjoy the moment for what it was.

“A-are you real?” I asked in a small, weak voice and I watched as his expression changed to one of deep concern. I couldn’t help my doubts; as much as I wanted to believe in him, I knew that my mind had been unreliable for a while now.

“Of course I’m real.” He answered as he moved to examine me in an analytical way. It seemed as if he were checking me for any signs of injury, or perhaps something that would reveal brainwashing and I smiled fondly at his worry. “Are you okay? Did they do something to you?” He asked as he met my eyes again. I reached up to take his face in my hands as I fixed him with a scrutinising look and I felt my brows knit together.

“Do you promise? You’re really here?” I croaked as the tears poured out and I waited for the doubt to leave me. I yearned to trust what I was seeing, I wanted to believe that he was here with my entire soul but I couldn’t push away the niggling doubt. My eyes roamed over the familiar details of his face as I cupped it in my hands and he met my eyes with an understanding look.

“I’m here Indigo.” He asserted and spoke in a firm tone as he battled to reassure me. “I’m here with you, I promise.” He expressed with sympathy, as if he finally comprehended the gravity of his arrival here for me and I felt my heart skip a beat.

I traced my fingers along his strong jaw as I re-familiarised myself with him and he leaned keenly into my touch. I gazed at him in wonder, watching his scruffy hair fall in front of his eyes, taking in every freckle that was perfectly scattered across his dewy skin and my breath hitched as he bit his lip, drawing my attention to his mouth. I felt a warmth spreading from my chest as I was transfixed by him and I sensed the incredible pull between us urging me forward.

I moved closer as if magnetized to him and I forced myself to meet his eyes again. I was hyper aware of every part where our bodies met and I gained a foreign hunger that craved to be tangled up with him. I got the sensation that gravity grew heavier around us as I stared into the hypnotising brown of his eyes and I was struck by the depth of the desire that I found there. I became aware of the intense regret that I’d been living with since I first woke in Mount Weather still watching from the back of my mind and it gave me the reminder I needed to seize the chance before it was too late again. He opened his mouth to speak but I pulled him to me with both hands as I flung any last residual hesitance from my mind.

All words were lost as our lips collided and although I was driven by an all consuming need for him, I kept enough control to kiss him softly. In the moment that we touched, everything seemed to become more vivid and any thought of this being a hallucination abandoned me as I drowned in the detail of the moment. I could feel the warmth of his skin, smell his earthy scent that I’d tried to recreate in my mind countless times and felt his gentle breaths on my cheek. There was the sensation of completion in my chest, as if some long lost part of me finally returned home as I wound my fingers into his soft curls and my lips moved against his delicately, like butterfly wings.

It was clear that I’d caught him by surprise with my boldness and he took a sharp breath as if the reality of our contact was just breaking through his shock. He surged forward as his arms circled me, gathering me against him and we touched at every point as he pressed us together. He groaned softly, low in his throat as he deepened the kiss and his hand caressed my back on its journey up to grasp my hair. His other arm stayed tightly around my waist and I threw an arm over his shoulders for stability as I balanced on my tiptoes.

Our lips moved in perfect sync and every fresh connection of them made my heart hammer slightly harder. He kissed me like I’d never realised I wanted to be kissed and I was almost completely bowled over by a rush of exhilaration that thrummed through my entire body. I clung to his hair to brace myself as the world seemed to spin around us and I felt myself becoming lost in him. The heat rose to my cheeks as his tongue touched mine and the sensation was like being struck with lightning as electricity crackled between us. The kiss blew any other thoughts from my mind, shutting my over analyzing brain down at last and it was so addictive that I lost track of my other basic needs.

We broke apart reluctantly to gasp for air and he left me panting. He smiled down at me with a look of fascination as his chest rose and fell heavily and I couldn’t see anything but him in my state of bliss. I had wondered for longer than I could ever openly admit what it would be like to experience his lips on mine, but the reality was utterly world changing. As we soaked in each other’s presence during the aftermath, everything seemed strangely like it was meant to be. We fit together, like finally finding the right key for a lock and I stared at him with a contentment I never expected to be able to feel. We still clung to each other as I waited for my lungs to recover and my heartbeat to normalise and I was glad to see that he looked as blown away as I felt. I noticed the alarm still blaring in the background as my attention returned slowly to our surroundings and he glanced over his shoulder with a regretful look.

“We should meet the others, they’ll be worried about you.” He stated in a reluctant tone as he explored me. He took my hand in his and laced our fingers together. “Come on, I've done plenty of poking around, I know this place pretty well by now.” He smiled as he tugged on me and we fell into step comfortably with his grip on my hand tightening as if he needed to reassure himself that I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Are the others alright? What happened?” I asked as my focus returned and the panic over my other loved ones hit me with a fresh wave.

“We lost some people but most of them are still kicking. We released the radiation...we had no other choice. Jasper’s pretty broken up over Maya, but he’s alive. Monty and Raven are with the others-” He started to explain but I cut him off with confusion.

“Raven’s alive?” I interrogated with a gasp as I studied him and he smiled as he continued to navigate me through the halls.

“Yeah, Abby patched her up. She got captured trying to help with the rescue but she made it.” He confirmed as he met my eyes with a hint of disbelief. “You were really in the dark here, huh?” He suggested as I stared at him with wide eyes and I wondered what else I’d missed whilst captive here. I knew immediately what I needed to ask next but I was terrified that my luck was about to run out. I took a deep breath to steel myself for the answer.

“What about Octavia? Miller said she was hurt during the fight at camp?” I queried in a small, worried voice and he squeezed my hand reassuringly.

“She was, but Lincoln got her out before the dropship launched. She’s actually pretty much becoming a grounder now, would you believe?” He chuckled lightly and I could barely comprehend his words. “We’d better hurry, she’s looking for you too.” He added as he tried to pull me forward but I stopped in my tracks as the information registered in my mind. He turned back to view me with concern and I felt the colour drain from my face in shock. I pictured Octavia in my mind, reflecting on the agonising grief and soul destroying guilt that I had felt every time I thought of her until now and I started to believe that I might have misheard him out of hope.

“Did...did you just say Octavia is here?” I stuttered and he stepped closer to take both of my hands in his. He observed me closely with an intense compassion and I felt reassured just having him there.

“She’s alive and she’s here. I don’t know what they’ve been telling you here, but we’re okay Indie.” He smiled at me as he stared into my eyes and made his best attempt to convince me. “We split up to search for you as soon as we realised you weren’t in the dorms. No one had seen you being operated on, so I knew you were probably still causing trouble somewhere. She’s going to be so glad to see you, though not as glad as me.” He explained before smiling down at me fondly. I felt fresh tears running down my cheeks as relief washed over me and I wiped them away in an effort to hold myself together. He released one of my hands to return to my side and tugged to encourage me to move. I took a step to follow his lead but I winced as a shooting pain in my side caused me to pause on the spot. He was immediately in front of me and his brows furrowed as he examined me. “What is it?” He asked in a frantic voice and I batted him away.

“I’m fine, it’s just a scrape. I literally dodged a bullet earlier.” I explained in a light tone as I smiled at him and he raised a brow at me. “Now that you say it, he must have been one of the guards who had the transplant, he didn’t seem to be affected by the radiation. I don’t feel so bad about killing him now.” I added and Bellamy chuckled under his breath. I pushed forward and dragged him along with me by his hand. He was initially reluctant but he tore his attention away from me to direct us as I spoke. I felt myself becoming light headed but tried to ignore it as I focused on reaching the dorms. “Anyway, we don’t want to keep Tavi waiting, she’s probably already going to be pissed at me for making her worry.” I joked despite the heavy emotions that I was carrying and I felt that I needed the distraction as my body grew heavier. Bellamy glanced over at me in an assessing manner and cleared his throat in an effort to cover his worry.

“I recognise that jacket.” He commented with a sly smile as he glanced at the oversized jacket that I was wrapped in and I felt my face flush slightly as I considered my dependence on it. My behaviour seemed insane now that I knew they had survived the fight at camp and I felt awkward explaining it, even if I knew that he would be understanding.

“Jasper picked it up for me after the dropship launched.” I explained as I purposefully withheld all of the intricate details about how it had been holding my fragile sanity in place. I definitely wasn’t ready to reveal the state that I’d been in and couldn’t consider how I would address this right now.

“That would explain why I couldn’t find it back at camp.” He grinned as he playfully winked at me and I felt my heart flip at the action.

“I was keeping it warm for you.” I teased and enjoyed being able to share light conversation with him again. It almost felt as if the last three weeks hadn’t happened and for a few peaceful minutes, all of our combined sins faded into background noise. I sighed in contentment as I shuffled along, hand in hand with him. “Besides, I had to give you a reason to look for me.” I added in the hope that I sounded teasing rather than vulnerable.

“I’ll always look for you.” He replied firmly and I squirmed uncomfortably. It still felt surreal to even be here with him and hearing him speak so honestly and tenderly to me only added to the feeling. I considered that perhaps losing me to the mountain had caused the same regret and self reflection in him that it had in me, but the thought felt arrogant and I pushed it away to deal with later. I felt a sharp stab of pain in my side that caused me to hiss and double over. He stepped in front of me to block me from walking any further and then helped me to straighten up.

“Okay that’s enough, let me take a look.” He insisted as he pushed aside the jacket to view the area that I’d been holding. His eyes widened as his hands reached my side and he peaked at me in horror. “Indie, I don’t know why you think you have super powers all of a sudden, but you didn’t dodge that bullet. I don’t even know how you’re still walking, that’s a lot of blood.” He explained as his eyes darted back down at the wound. I watched him in surprise; I hadn’t even felt it until now and I hadn’t bled on him when we kissed. I moved the jacket to find that the inside was soaked in blood and realised that it must have been containing it. I started to feel weak and unsteady and could no longer draw from the abnormal strength that adrenaline had given me.

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine, let’s just get to the others.” I deflected and as I tried to step forward, I fell into his chest. He caught me before lifting me into his arms and breaking into a rushed pace. “I can walk.” I breathed, despite feeling my head spinning as everything grew darker around me. I heard another set of footsteps approaching but my vision was too hazy to comprehend whose they were.

“Monty! She’s been shot, get Abby or Clarke, now!” Bellamy’s voice was frantic and I fought the growing heaviness in my eyes to stay in the moment with him.

“Hey, the whole gang’s here.” I whispered in response to Clarke’s name and even through my blurred vision, I could recognise the terror in his face as he looked down at me.

“Don’t even think about dying on me Indigo, just hang on.” His desperate pleas were the last thing I heard before I lost consciousness.

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a-woman-apart · 4 years

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Watch "I'M BACK! WHY I LEFT YOUTUBE FOR TWO YEARS!" on YouTube

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This scared me so badly, because this is EXACTLY what happened in my life, except it was all in The Reverse.

I graduated with an Associate Degree in Music Performance in 2018, but instead of running TOWARDS my dream/calling I ran hardcore AWAY from it. My pride in graduating only lasted a month before I declared myself Utterly Unmarketable and sought to go after a "real degree" and get a Big Girl career.

Between 2018 and 2020 I had major life changes.

My dad died of stomach cancer

I broke up with my neglectful boyfriend

I turned down a Full Ride to a major college

I hospitalized myself for Suicidal Ideation (Sept 2019)

I quit my job of 5 years

I started working for my best friend and became her Office Manager

I started dating the Love of my Life

I lost my friend group and peer support

I lost my mind and left college due to COVID-19 (but not before making one of my best decisions in taking a Screenwriting class because I WANTED not NEEDED it)

Started distancing myself from the toxic women in my life and definining Womanhood/Adulthood for myself

Visited my brother's grave after over a decade of waiting and got closure

Fully acknowledged my childhood trauma/abuse

Rediscovered my sexuality

Was disowned by who I erroneously thought was a close friend of 17 years over my political views

Joined and exited Unity2020

Turned in my car for repossession

Spent a week in the hospital after having a severe, paranoid psychotic break, but came out completely free of the vice of self-consciousness I was living under

You know what is nuts? I feel in many ways, I have completely reverted to who I was in the summer of 2011. I was off my meds, and it WAS mania, but personality-wise, the tempestuous, gum-chewing, cigarette-puffing, flirtatious, humorous, free-spirited ball of fire that drove all the way to Colorado on a whim wasn't rebellious, SHE WAS ME.

I just wasn't Me around the right people, and it wasn't the Right Time.

My inner Sagittarius moon would remain in a dormant state for almost a full decade. I would spend the next 9 years heavily sedated, sleepwalking through life, only alive at The Sound of Music.

It was Torture to feel so much but be afraid to express myself. I had to Hide while doing a major that demanded that I Command Attention. I am by nature "dramatic", "theatrical", "emotional", "expressive" but that part of me was so suppresed that I was frequently told I sang with excellence but without emotion.

Aside: During my 2011 manic episode, I spoke a lot about Doppelgangers. Without going into excessive detail, this is a German word that means "Double" and it is considered bad luck to encounter yours.

In the past 2 weeks, I have encountered people that look/sound like me (Josephine is Nigerian-Canadian and I am Nigerian-American and I kept thinking about her work even though I initially disagreed with her lot) and a woman with my name (different spelling) who was NOTHING like me and I also think might've had malice in mind for me.

I was DEFINITELY an agnostic atheist when I started this year, but as a result of undergoing so much weird shit I almost certainly believe in God, and yes, "God is a Woman." (More on that later)

Also, I realized that I really DID, as many teenage girls, "lose interest in math and science" but that was because of the terrible, unfactual way it was presented in my homeschool curriculum and by my mom, who was a Math major but whose disinterested detachment made every algebra lesson an excercise in torture.

I have always loved biolology and anatomy and I remember so much more chemistry than I thought. Geology class in community college was amazing and also helped me understand-- even more than the Theory of Evolution-- why young earth creationism was completely impossible.

As for math, I spent 15 years thinking it was my greatest weakness when I have had to use arithmetic in cashiering, my managerial work, and my monthly budget for the last 7 years. Also, as annoying as it was to hear constantly, my mom parroting "What you have to do to one side, you have to do to the other" (but in reverse) gave me the ability to do Algebra quickly and (mostly) effortlessly. I could never get A's, but I got a B in Quantitative Mathematics with no real help aside from occasional teacher input and the "Help me solve this" function of MyMathLab.

Here is where it Gets Weird. I am a Creative. I have been writing stories since I was 6 years old. I have loved Story all my life. My parents were in math and science fields and they completely lacked any creativity. COMPLETELY. It was part of why they were so religiously rigid, authoritarian, and draconian. There was no room for spontaneity or childish imaginativeness.

Looking back, I had major sensory and processing issues. I was likely speech delayed, I learned to read late, and I recently confirmed that when I am stressed my dyscalculia kicks in bad (it IS real). Numbers and symbols get really interchangeable (like an 8 and infinity symbol become kinda the same) which is why I had to recite phone numbers out loud to remember them or write them on colorful backgrounds so I can see them in my head as an image. Also explains my aversion to math but my ease with fractions (1/2 is half a sandwich, etc).

My spatial awareness is also shit when stressed. Before I turned in our car, I had earned the nickname "U-turn" from my boyfriend because on that Floating Death Machine left and right got completely crossed, frequently.

By the way, I struggled with right and left until I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD. I literally didn't understand the concept of a mirror and 3D space, meaning that the basic understanding that my right is someone else's left didn't come into play until I had an argument with my [now-deceased] brother about it.

What is so weird, is that because of years of correcting for these issues, my sense of direction, ON FOOT is good, if not better than most people. Also, once I realized that, given the opportunity, I very much do whatever I can with my left-hand, and that my hearing is MUCH better than I even thought, I am far less clumsy. Depth perception is still crap, but that is probably also because I was forced to spend years without the glasses I needed (and got earlier this year after living with chronic eye strain)

When I talk about these "issues" it is in line with female autism, but you know what? If really do have adult autism, then I am a Complete Boss because I have pwned that ho.

After being rehospitalized, a kind nurse suggested I may have PTSD and suggested medicine for insomnia and nightmares. It was extremely helpful. I had been looking into C-PTSD for a while, because I didn't think I had "suffered enough" to have "real" PTSD. But that isn't how diagnoses work.

Btw, I still have Bipolar I, Psychotic Features. Another kind nurse told me I don't need anti-psychotics, and no, I don't. I was given Zyprexa by a bitch nurse and it was like getting drunk. I stumbled the halls, almost fell over (possibly did) and woke up with a neon "Fall Risk" bracelet. Anti-psychotics also fucked up my menstrual cycle for years and I have had lingering hormonal isssues. Haha no thanks.

Anyway, I digress. Of course I am fucked up. I lived under family members who questioned my reality, attempted to crush my dreams, threatened me with physical punishment any time I behaved in non-neurotypical ways, violated my rights and interfered with my treatment even though I was a full legal adult, undermined my relationships, tortured and socially isolated me, etc., all under the guise "of knowing best."

In minority cultures, our darkness hides in plain sight, and ESPECIALLY in the Bible Belt, with its supeestition and idolization of familial hierarchy/patriarchy, victims of financial, spiritual, emotional, and physical abuse have no where safe to turn. The Long Arm of the Law is often Short when it comes to "breaking up the family", and women and children are victimized openly with little to no intervention.

On top of doing my Creative Work, I plan to create legislation to make sure that what happened to me and my siblings isn't allowed to go unpunished. We lost my older brother, and I almost died, too, but Enough is Enough.

The Time is Now.

P.S. If Josephine is an Air Nomad I identify as a Water Bender. I basically have no water in my astrological chart, but water signs bring me great comfort in times of need (and make bad romantic partners for me obviously)

Also, this is one Bad Biyatch.

I also found out I am an ISFJ, not INFJ. Yep. Gonna be a Playwright and Director. I want to be a part of the action, not just writing about it.

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vidkid20ssimblrlair · 4 years

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Episode 25: You're Just Like Him

One night watching Gemma was enough to ruin someone's sleep for a week. I could still feel her clammy hands on my face. Her breath tickling my chin. The crazed look in her eye alone still haunted me. I remind her of her boyfriend? What on earth? Man, she's creepy.

I settled into the lazyboy chair in the living room and closed my eyes. I had tried to get a nap earlier in the day in Aaron's room, but Gemma had even ruined that. Locking herself in the bathroom like some maniac. What did she call herself doing in there? I looked over at Gemma sitting on the couch fluffing her pillow in prep for bedtime. "I'll have to keep a better eye on her," I thought, but for now Wade and Omar would be on watch tonight. Wade watching the front and Omar watching the back. Would that be enough?

I yawned and slowly drifted off to sleep. My body giving up the fight. My thoughts and troubles fading into a blur. My stinging eyes finally resting. As I felt myself growing heavier and my mind descending into the gloom of slumber, I heard something. Laughter? Voices? I felt myself awakening. My mind back alert. I sprung up and my eyes opened. I looked over to see Gemma not on the couch anymore, but standing in the doorway of the living room. Her slender body leaning on the door frame. A giant grin on her face shortly followed by a roar of laughter.

"You kidding me!"

Omar answered her. "I ain't kidding!"

"You're a hoot!"

This resulted in more laughter. I stood up and walked over to get a better view. I lurked behind her for several minutes just watching. Both Wade and Omar seemed to be having a great time goofing around with her. I clenched my fist and gritted my teeth the longer I watched. Anger bubbling inside me. After sharing another joke, Omar noticed me and froze. Wade followed his gaze and mimicked him. Gemma continued giggling, but stopped noticing their faces and turned around.

"Oh, did we wake ya?" she said grinning. "Sorry about that."

I snarled. "What the fuck?!"

"Well, no need for the foul language. We were just having a chat."

"A chat?!"

"You can join us if you like. Omar was just telling..."

"This is not a fucking slumber party. I'm trying to get some sleep and you two dumbasses are chuckling it up with the enemy! For fuck sakes!"

Wade shot up and put his arm on my shoulder. He whispered in my ear, "Ixnay on the enemynay."

I snorted. "We don't know her and till we can trust her, she's the enemy. Now can you politely shut up and let me sleep?!"

I stormed off back to my armchair and plop down in it. I watched Gemma slumped off to the couch. She sat up and shot me one last look before laying down for the night.

Next day...

"Audrey, I can't sleep. Ever since she's come into this house, she's been keeping me up with her stupid blabbering!"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "With Wade and Omar?"

"Yes! I'm beginning to think they like her."

"I doubt that, but I wouldn't be surprised. Jones sure loves her."

We both shared a deep sigh as the two of us stood in the dining room. We could hear Gemma gleefully chatting it up in the kitchen with Jones over breakfast. I rolled my eyes and Audrey sighed again as we listened. We turned out attention back to each other.

"I can't sleep."

"You said that."

"She watches me."

"She what?"

"I've caught her staring at me more than once during the night. Just staring. Just sitting there staring at me from the couch."

She furrowed her brow, but an amused expression flickered across her face. "Like how? Like how does she look when she... stares at you?"

"Stone-faced. It's fucking creepy. Like she's staring into my soul."

She laughed. "Sounds like her."

"Don't laugh. It's fucking terrifying."

"Well, she does seem strangely drawn to you. Maybe she has a crush..."

"More like crush me and wear my skin as a suit," I scoffed leading to more fits of giggles. I smirked. "So do you think Vince will allow me to join him on the couch upstairs at night? I don't snore. Hey. I'm even willing to cuddle if he's into that."

Audrey at this point was in stitches and was I feeling a bit better. We shared a quick smile before Gemma entered the room deflating the cheerful vibe immediately. She sat down at the long dining room table and began picking her teeth. She looked up at me and Audrey.

"So what you guys up to?" she said flicking the contents of her teeth across the room to our disgust.

"Discussing your workload," I lied glaring back at her. "When are you going get some work done? I remember DJ saying something about earning your keep. Remember?"

"I cleaned the kitchen table."

I tapped the table. "Have you clean this table?"

"Yep."

"Then why do I still see crumbs and bits of food on it?"

"I don't know," she said shrugging tracing her finger on the table. "I didn't put it there."

I pounded the table. My patience wearing thin and voice rising. "I don't care who put it there. Clean it up!"

"You don't have to yell," she said plainly. She remained seated and picked at her teeth again. "I'll get it."

Audrey looked from her to me. Her expression a mixture troubled and amused. "I think I'll go check on Vince. Um... good luck."

She quickly left leaving me and Gemma alone. Part of me relieved as I knew my patience couldn't hold back my temper any longer. I gritted my teeth and pounded the table again making her jump.

"Now see here. All you've done is sit on your ass and done nothing since you got here! When are going actually do some work?!"

"I'm pregnant. What do you expect me to do? I'm working for two you know," she said winking infuriating me more.

"Oh, I know. You remind me every time your lazy ass needs an excuse to be a lazy pile..."

"Nathan! Gemma," Madison intruded hurrying into the room. She appeared to be carrying a large folded piece of paper. "Change of plans."

"What?"

"I was thinking we relax today."

"But... but," I stuttered pointing at the table.

"The table can wait," she said. She unfolded it revealing a map. She brushed the crumbs with her sleeve and placed the large map on the table in front of Gemma. She then smiled. "We're going to find your boyfriend today."

Gemma sat up looking alarmed. "My what?"

"Your boyfriend, John. You do remember you have a boyfriend right?" she said smirking. "Well, it's been roughly three days since you came here and he hasn't shown up. Thought we should at least try to look for him."

"Why? He's dead."

"Oh, ye little faith. He might be out there looking for you. Don't you want to go look for him?"

"Um..."

"Madison, can I talk to you?," I asked politely. I grabbed her arm and pulled her to the side. I whispered. "I don't know what you're getting at, but you're a genius."

"I know. I know Wade said to give her time to 'slip up', but how about we put this on hyper-drive and expose her on one of her lies. Find this "John."

"Scratch that. You're an evil genius. I thought you lost it with the whole murder thing, but this totally redeems you on so many levels."

"Really? I thought so. I remember you telling me about how she creepily said you remind of her boyfriend and then boom it came to me."

Gemma cleared her throat. "Um...can I go now? I have to clean this table and I just remembered DJ wanted me to...um...sweep the back porch. Yeah, so can I go?"

"No!" we said in unison. Madison stepped forward and put on her cheesiest smile. "No. We need you to look on the map and tell us where you were last. Maybe we can narrow it down and find him. Maybe retriever some of your stuff too from that car you spoke of."

She stood up looking nervous. "Uh... that's not necessary. Besides, I got a lot of work to do."

"Now you want to work. No, you sit down and study that map," I insisted joining her at her side. I gently pushed her down in her seat. "Now where were you when you and...um...John got split up?"

"Yeah. DJ'd handy map here covers most of the surrounding area," Madison added. "Just point to where you were or maybe point to something that looks familiar. Maybe a landmark perhaps."

"I don't really remember. I was sort of running for my life when we got split up."

"Oh, but something had to stick out to you. Maybe before you ran into the large herd."

"Look, I don't remember and frankly I think it's a waste of time. John is dead and my stuff wasn't worth going back for, so please just drop it."

"And what if you're wrong. He could be out there. Alone, scared, wanting his dearest Gemma back in his arms. Holding onto your dearly possessions."

"Dramatic much?"

"Look, just try to remember, please. You just sit here and see if anything jogs your memory."

“Yeah, we’ll leave you here and go into the next room even if that’s more comfortable,” I added.

“Hey, let go into the kitchen. Maybe we’ll bring back a snack,” Madison agreed grinning from ear to ear.

I tried not to laugh at Gemma's confused face, but she looked both a mixture perplexed and horrified as she looked up at Madison's eerily cheerful face. Something about it did seem pretty unsettling in light of how she felt about Gemma. For once the redhead seemed caught off guard and disturbed.

She furrowed her brow. “Um...ok?”

We left the redhead alone with the map for a few minutes and retreated to the kitchen. Both me and Madison chatted excitedly over a cup of joe. We peered in on her every so often watching her literally squirm in her seat. She looked like a caught mouse backed into the corner about to be eaten. You could just tell her mind was trying to cook up some new lie or excuse to avoid the circumstances she found herself in as she stared blankly at the map. Once we were done drinking our stale cups of coffee, we went back in and was welcomed by the sight of an empty seat. The pale redhead was no longer sitting in front of the map. Instead, she was back on the living room couch.

“Um...excuse me,” Madison snapped staring down at her laid out on the couch. “What are you doing?”

“Laying down obviously. Where’s the snacks?”

“Snacks? You’re supposed to be looking at the map!”

“I don’t remember,” she repeated looking annoyed. She turned over turning her back to us and buried her face into the cushions. "I’m tired and I'm pregnant. I need my rest. Can we do this some other time?"

“No! We’re doing this now and you’re coming with us!” I snarled. “Get up.”

“Are you daft? I’m not going out there. I told you. I’m not putting my babe at risk.”

I scoffed. "Convenient how your unborn child keeps showing up in the conversation when you don't want to do something!”

She frowned. "You sound like..."

"Me?" Madison said. "I said the same thing. It is convenient isn't it?"

"You don't understand..."

"Oh, I understand. I understand that you're full of shit and I'm tired of it," I fumed. "Get up!"

"I'm not looking at that stupid map anymore. Leave me alone," she spat. She grabbed a pillow and hid her face behind it. "I'm tired."

"Get up!" I grabbed her arm and pulled.

"Get off of me! Let me go!"

I manage to yank Gemma up on her feet and pulled her towards the dining room. I pulled out the seat in front of the map and made her sit down. She looked down at the map. Her confident demeanor deduced to something I didn't expect to see from her. Fear. She looked up at me with the most pained expression on her face and looked over at Madison at the doorway literally pleading with her eyes.

"I don't know. Can I go? Please?" she asked softly.

"No. Either you tell us where you were last or we’re going on a little road trip to find John. We'll bound to run into something you know. Hey, we might even find the car you were living in or maybe the junkyard will jog your memory.”

"Please stop it!" she cried. Tears began streaming down her face. "Maybe I don't want to find him!"

"Huh?"

"Please don't make me!"

I chuckled. "Don't you see we caught her in a lie. Just like you said. She doesn't want to find him, because he doesn't exist!"

She immediately stood up and loudly began sobbing. Madison stood by looking almost puzzled by her display of emotion. She tried to rush past me, but I blocked her. She pushed me, but I grabbed her arm.

"You're a liar. Admit it!" I snarled. You're one of them! A vulture or whatever you call yourselves."

"You're hurting me! Please."

"You're going admit it and you're going admit it now. Who are you?!"

"I told you! Now please."

"I'm not going put up with this bullshit any longer. I'm sick of it!"

"You're hurting me!"

"I'm hurting you?! I can do much more than this."

"You're just like him. You're just like him", she moaned. She crumbled to the floor. "Always hurting me. Please stop!"

Woah! What?" Madison gasped.

"I don't want to find him. I ran away! He hurts me. He hurts me!" she screamed. "You think this bruise on my face is from those things outside? No, he put that here. He put every bruise and mark you see on this body. He's the real monster!"

We stood in stunned silence. She seemed genuine. Her tears seem real. Her emotion, no longer wooden and fake. She sat on the floor outwardly sobbing. It didn’t take long for a small audience to peer in wondering what the commotion was about. Wade, Omar, Audrey, Tao, and Jones.

"I'm... I'm..." I stammered as she looked up at me helplessly. I couldn't look her in the eye. I didn’t dare look at the others. I needed air. I needed to be anywhere, but here. I rushed over to the backdoor praying it was open and it was. I practically leap out its doors and leaned on the banister.

I stared up at the sky. My mind drifting to my father and the helplessness I felt in his presence. Looking up at his cold eyes. Was I becoming like him?

I don't know how long I stood like that, but I was too afraid to turn around to Madison calling out to me. She joined me at my side and patted me on my back.

"She ran away." I blurted out.

She shrugged. "I don't know, do you believe that?"

"I...I don't know. Is she ok? Shit. Jones even saw that. We’re toast!"

"She's fine. Jones is comforting her, but yeah he’s pissed. I don’t think he’s angry enough to kick us out yet. I’m sure she’s in there telling him quite a tale though.” She slid to the floor and sighed. "Is it crazy that I actually sympathize with her?"

"No."

“I do still think she's mostly full of shit, but that..that seemed real. I.. I should know."

"What you mean?"

"Before this. I use to date a lot of shitheads and even had the nerve to get engaged to one. He never had the balls to hit me, but he treated me like shit. Abused me mentally. Cheated on me. Accuse me of cheating. Just a real asshole. Stupidly, no matter what he did I put up with it and I even loved him at one point," she sighed again. "I swear I inherited my mom's taste in men. After my dad, she got herself involved with an asshole too. An abusive one. I know the scars. I know the fear."

"Do you think she ran away from the Vultures? That she ran away from this John guy?"

"I can't say, but it's hard not to believe a woman when you've been that woman. She's awfully believable."

"Shit. It's like the apocalypse put all the fucked up kids together."

She laughed. "Well, Omar's normal. Wade is Wade. Then there's Lin..."

"Lin hounded my brother for months for thousand dollar shoes and she's a freaking spoiled rich heiress!"

"Ok, scratch that."

We shared a good laugh, but we quickly went back to being serious. I sighed loudly and she rubbed my shoulder looking concerned.

"I think I'm turning into my father. What I did in there. He was just like that. If I even breathed wrong, he was breathing down my throat yelling his head off just like that."

She shook her head. "No. You're not. Matt told me about your dad and you're not him. Not even a little. Neither of you."

"But..."

"Hush. You just got carried away. We both did. We just have to go about this a better way. She might be telling the truth about 'John', but who is he really? We have more questions than we have answers and that's not enough for me. She owes us answers."

Previous Episode

I’m so sorry for the delay. I’ve been mentally and psychically battling health wise. I would have had this up sooner if I hadn’t been in such a funk. Then I did get distracted playing bday presents recently. xD Still no excuses. I’m back on the job!

#sims 3 Dead on Arrival #ts3 dead on arrival #sims 3 doa #ts3 doa #sims 3 #ts3 #sims 3 story #ts3 story #sims 3 simblr #ts3 simblr #simblr #dead on arrival season 2 #doa season 2

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kas-e · 4 years

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♧NƏW NØRMAL♧

What a tumultuous and electric time to be alive. I've never felt such tension in the air, and to watch how people deal with this has been an eye opening experience to say the least. Karens gone wild in the streets, and in Walmart. Old people telling young people to "shut up and get away from me!" I had someone have a complete meltdown in front of me for pumping my own gas without a glove. Because of the mask I couldn't understand what they were saying so I asked them to take their mask off, but that just kicked their rage into overdrive, which inadvertently and immediately turned their dramatic episode into a world class comedy for everyone at the gas station. Freak outs like this are a part of every single day now. The pressure is building, and the people are becoming unwound. Strange times.

Like many Americans I grew up playing baseball. Looking back, they are some of my fondest and most exciting memories. I know what your thinking... baseball, exciting? Well, to most people on the field it isn't, but I was a pitcher. The pitcher is the orchestrator of the game, working in a headspace of focus, trickery, and extreme precision.

There is a moment, usually in the 7th inning, when the pitcher is throwing a great game but the tension reaches a fever pitch. Exhaustion and emotion come creeping to the surface, and that zone that pitchers fall into begins to break down. Far before I ever thought about meditation, during that time my father always taught me to slow my rhythm down a notch, and breathe deep and slow. Sometimes it worked, and other times the anxiety would come rushing to the surface and spoil my focus. But those times it worked, my God it was magic. The world would quiet and I would sink deeper into the groove which allowed me to place the ball with pinpoint precision in the last place the batter would expect it to be. With my arm sore and tired, this is when I would be forced to get crafty instead of simply overpowering the batter. My failures during those times taught me more about myself than anything else ever has. It taught me how to operate under pressure, and how to override my natural inclination of letting stress and anxiety hinder my performance. The failures far outweighed the success, but it was within that failure where I would learn about my weakest links.

Throughout my life I have applied these lessons. Sometimes in the ocean with a wave roaring behind my head, sometimes while finding myself behind the wheel of a car breaking loose and losing control - it was the deep breathing and lazer sharp focus found in these high risk moments that would make the time slow down and allow muscle memory do its thing. The skill of being able to tame the mind at the most difficult time is the most important thing we learn as human beings. Pressure will always come, but when we focus, breathe, and power through these situations the rewards are well worth the work and discipline.

Now, every day I go to work there is a point during my day when it reminds me of that 7th inning. Tensions raise, so I take a deep breath and do my best to mediate the situation, and bring sanity back into the picture. It is utterly exhausting, and there isn't a day that goes by without witnessing someone having a mental breakdown. It's beyond sad, and completely unnecessary. I get it, I understand... but a large part of myself feels helpless in the face of this situation. To watch people feed this monster of manipulation is one of the most depressing things I've witnessed during my four decades on this earth.

That looming pressure has been building on the shoulders of society these past few months. Due to fear and paranoia caused by Covid, this pressure has become a part of many people's day to day lives. If you work with the public, then you surely know what I'm taking about here. You can feel the anxiety of that person who walks through the door, the hair raises on your neck when someone has a freak out over masks or personal space. Our contentment has been shattered by the overzealous media and fear mongering government. We are forced to exist in this newfound atmosphere of tension and fear, and the orchestrators of this have even named it.

The New Normal.

First of all, none of this is normal. I think I speak for many of my brothers and sisters when I say, Fuck your New Normal. As the tension builds and the people get sucked into poverty, we need to remember exactly where the power resides. It's in the people, not in the one percent. Fuck the One Percent as well. We don't have to stand for any of this bullshit. Every day more eyes are opened, more people snap back into reality, and more people realize what a ridiculous game this entire situation has become.

These aren't hard times, these are OUR times. It is our days, our minutes, and our months that they are toying with. We need a new perspective. No more playing the victim.

This is an opportunity to take the old guard out. They've had their shot, and they fucked it up. They've wasted enough of our time, so now it's time for them to go, plain and simple. This is America, it is our duty to uphold our dignity. They want a New Normal? Well, let's give it to them. The time has come, and it's long overdue.

I miss my America, I really do. And mine isn't like most... it may not be the Monday night football, hot dog eating, 4th of July loving America of the majority, but it's my America all the same. I ride in the other lane... the road tripping, sketchy club lurking, psychonaut loving, let's see how weird we can get in here lane. I'm one of the writers and creators that fully takes advantage of the inspiration found from New York to San Francisco and everywhere in between. I miss my mountains and my highways. I miss the random old lady at the truck stop that I can make laugh and smoke a cigarette with. I miss being able to see someones facial expressions while helping people at my job. I miss the attitude on the street that has turned from pleasant, to vile and reactive. I miss the subtle and simple things that make living here so sweet.

As a culture, we all need to take a deep breath and get our heads together. Break this reactionary spell. Dig deep and get back into the rhythm we lost a few months ago. If we succumb to these new systems that are being rolled out (and will continue to be rolled out), it will be our children who suffer most. We have to rise up and take the power back, somehow. This rift in time is testing the fragility of the greatest experiment ever on planet earth; the United States of America.

#creative writing #writer #writing #writers #writers of tumblr #independant #independant journalism #journalism #political #covid #hunter s thompson #prose

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bellatrixobsessed1 · 4 years

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A Flame For A Cabbage (Part 4)

Azula squints, her body aches from head to toe and she still hasn’t had her fill of pan-fried noodles. She had already paid for the meal too. She forces herself upright with a pained huff. It is dark, the only light she sees comes from the slant of a window on the door.

She realizes that she is alone.

Alone and in a place that has nothing but a cot, a toilet, and a copy of Fifty Shades Of Grey--she isn’t sure if this is for leisure or for toilet paper.

It takes her a moment to realize where she is. A cell. A dreary and dank, musky smelling Earth Kingdom cell.

There comes a screech of metal as the slant on her door slides open. A small shaft of light pours in.

A gruff voice greets her, “good evening, princess.”

“She’s a cabbage merchant.” Corrects a distant, feminine voice.

“Oh right!” The man calls back. “We haven’t caught the princess yet, thanks for reminding me Long Feng.”

“You’re welcome!” Long Feng answers in that same high-pitched tone. Azula can’t even begin to fathom why the man is talking like that.

“You’re probably wondering why you are here.” The man says.

She wishes that he wouldn’t make assumptions. The things she actually wonders about are if she will ever get her pan-fried noodles (or, at least, her money back) and how good the stock market is as far as cabbages are concerned.

“You probably have a lot of questions, don’t you?” He continues. “ So I will allow you to ask one question and I will answer honestly. You can ask more than one but I might lie about those.”

Now he sounds like her old history teacher; she still isn’t sure if the first avatar actually was a 400 foot tall platypus bear with purple horns and silver wings. Azula perks up, she has found the perfect mascot for her cabbage company!

The Dai Li agent coughs, bringing her back to attention. “Can I ask two?” She asks. A nervous sweat breaks on her forehead and she abruptly adds, “no wait! That’s not my question!”

“You have one more question left out of two.”

Azula folds her arms over her chest and gives an indignant sniff. There are a great many things she could ask; she could inquire about why she is here, about where here is, about whether the book is for reading or for ass wiping. She could ask if they would be willing to bargain with her for her freedom, could ask who is in charge.

She could ask if he wants to buy a cabbage…

The possibilities are endless. Endless and full of opportunity. But there is an itch that she needs to scratch, one that is irresistible thanks to her inclination for logic and perfection. She knows that it is hardly important in comparison to her other questions, the ones that can actually move the plot forward. But the one she actually asks is already out of her mouth, “why did you open another slant to talk to me if one was already open?”

.oOo.

“My, my, you're easy to find. It's really astounding my brother hasn't captured you yet.” Sie greets.

The bison growls at him, or maybe that was a sneeze, he can’t be sure.What he is certian of is that the Kyoshi warriors have all drawn their fans and shields.

“What do you want with us?” Suki asks.

He very well could answer her question, let her know that he needs a disguise. But he can also make a pun. Yes a pun. Puns are good. “Who are you?” He asks, already wriggling his eyes in anticipation for the punchline. “The Avatar's fan girls?”

“Wo-ow.” Mai grumbles. “Goo-od one.” And more to herself she adds, “I bet that the cabbage merchant wouldn’t have made such a stupid joke.”

Sie frowns, “says you.” Great, now he is acting like the teens that he is surrounded by.

“If you're looking for the Avatar, you're out of luck.” Suki says.

“What if we’re looking for Waldo?” TyLee taps her finger on her chin. “Or Carmen SanDieago? Where in the world, is she?”

“Then you’re still out of luck, I’ve been looking for ages!” Exclaims one of the other kyoshi warriors.

“I knew this was a waste of time.” Mai says with a dramatic sigh.

“No Avatar, huh?” Sie asks. “Well, that's okay…” he trails off as he slides off of his mongoose-lizard. He never had figured out how to unmount these things. He stumbles gracelessly to the floor. “That’s a really cute dress and I’d love to borrow it!” He finally finishes.

Suki’s eyes go wide, “no way, this dress is Kyoshi!” She declares. “The Autumn, 100 AG line.”

Sie sends a blast of fire at the girl. He needs that dress!

It goes so well with his eyes!

And it makes a great disguise.

Miles away Iroh eats some fries.

Mai takes this as her cue to toss a few shurikens. She doesn’t particularly pay attention to where she throws them, which is probably why they all hit a tree instead of any of the warriors. “You're so colorful, it's making me nauseous.” She remarks before actually putting some real effort into her attack.

“You're not prettier than we are.” TyLee says as the author squints at the episode’s transcript and decides ultimately that this is random enough on its own to be left as is. She quickly chi blocks her more unsightly combatant.

Sie shakes his head a coaxes a green flame into his palm he tosses it at Suki and Appa. The bison lets out a terrified groan. “Afraid of fire, I see. That's good. You should be.” He too is afraid of fire and yet here he is, a firebender. He is, in fact, afraid of most things.

The air around Suki seems to glitch, a staticy haze silhouettes her. Through the static it is hard to make out her voice, “go, Appa! Fly away from here!” There is something else layered on top of it...a yellow sponge wearing pants of the square variety shouting, “just get out of here you stupid dumb animal.” The image and audio overlaps Suki in such a way that they both occupy the same exact spot in space and time at the same time. Sie covers his ears and squeezes his eyes shut. When he opens them again the world is as it should be. He is growing tired of these nightmarish glitches.

Appa is still not gone though, he squeezes his eyes shut again. And when he opens them, there is no more Appa. Sie’s stomach lurches, spirits, what kind of power has he acquired.? And why has the author chosen to leave that period in there instead of just deleting it!?

Suki opens her fan once more.

“Don't you know fans just make flames stronger?” Sie asks. Agni, some people lack basic common sense. He runs into a jump and brings a halo of green fire to his feet. Suki’s eyes widen...

*Insert really bitchin’ scene break here*

Azula sighs, maybe if authors actually knew how to write, she wouldn’t be in this situation right now. As it were she is forced to listen to the fussy, extremely sexy, but really loud and obnoxious man she had been dragged here with.

“You have to believe me, they're firebenders! They won't stop until they win the War!” He declares.

She cannot see what is happening but she can hear it.

“Calm down, you're safe now.”

Maybe she should open her eyes.

But it is so late at night, she needs her rest if she is going to have the wit to sell cabbages to shady organizations. Curiosity gets the better of her. She peers into Jet’s cell. The boy is surrounded by a metal track. There is a lantern rotating around the track.

“Our economy would be ruined, our peaceful way of life – our traditions – would disappear. There's no war in Ba Sing Se.”

Azula chuckles to herself, but otherwise remains quiet. She doesn’t want to give them a reason to strap her to that chair.

“You might as well say what you wish, cabbage merchant.” The man frowns, “you’ll be in this chair soon enough.”

Well in that case… “There is clearly a war and you know it. In fact, I sold many cabbages to many soldiers who were trying to stop the walls from being breached. I’ve been all over the world trying to sell these cabbages, I’ve witnessed the fall of Omashu; sales were dreadfully down during that. Have you ever tired to sell a cabbage to people who are pretending to have pentapox? By all means, I think that I have heard of that, but they clearly weren’t sick.” She takes a breath. “I’ve seen decrepit cities, crumbling because a dreadful wartime economy and I’ve seen Fire Nation banners arise all over the Earth Kingdoms. There was also this particularly dull-headed man who decided to destroy the moon. One minute I was writing a letter to my father, the next I am in the dark, unable to see my letter, and wondering where the moon went.” She takes another breath. “Only a fool would destroy the moon.Do you know what other nation needs the moon?” She doesn’t let him answer. “The Fire Nation. They need the moon too but someone decided that the moon is not important. How did you hide that from your citizens?” This time she leaves room for an answer. One that does not come (because logically, such a tremendous feat cannot be covered up). “Both water tribes have fallen, and your hat is on crooked and makes your forehead look comically large.”

“Yeah, you over-grown butt hair!” Jet adds.

Azula frowns, he has just made a mess of her insult. “Please shut up, you beautiful man.”

“Sorry.” He mutters.

The agent blinks. “Long Feng, we’re going to need a more powerful lantern!” But Long Feng is not there. His presence is required in another scene; “Ba Sing Se remains a peaceful, orderly utopia, the last one on Earth.” He says to the Avatar. The arrowed boy and his friends look at him with horror, at the implication of just how in the dark the people of Ba Sing Se are. “Myself and the rest of the Dailluminati are making sure that everyone knows that.”

But Azula has no knowledge of this, she only sees the lantern continuing its rotation around Jet’s head. “Spirits, that must be annoying.” She mutters to herself.

The Dailluminati agent pinches the bridge of his nose. “Do you know how hard it is to hypnotize someone with all of this side commentary?”

“About as hard as it is to sell a cabbage to rouge bison-stealing sandbenders who claim that are trying to flee the scene of the crime?”

The Dailluminati agent blinks again. “Yeeeeah...sure.” He turns to his companion. “Hey, Kiko, can you put this one back in her cell?”

“I’ll put myself back in the cell if you buy a cabbage.”

He tosses a handful of coins at her. She doesn’t have her cabbage stall, but a true cabbage merchant can create a cabbage from nothing. She closes her eyes,takes a deep breath, and wills a cabbage into her hand. She hands it to the Dailluminati agent and makes her way back into her cell before the cabbage can disappear and he can demand his money back. One day, she will be a true cabbagebender.

She lays upon her bed and listens to the ambiance of Lake Laogai.

“There is no war within the walls. Here we are safe. Here, we are free.”

#Avatar #Azula #Cabbage Man #Jet #Mai #TyLee #Suki #Fanfiction

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lowsodiumfreaks67 · 5 years

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Some questions are difficult to answer

Sorry Iv been a little m.i.a bit I got a little something for y’all.

a/n : for some unknown reason this piece does not look right on tumblr mobile so I apologize in advance if its difficult to read, I also uploaded it to my wattpad if you want to read it there instead. @obsessionunhealthy

Summary : Its your first Supernatural convention of the year in Nashville because Seattle got Con-blocked. You’re joining your husband Jensen and your costar Jared for your first panel together when a fan asks a question that brings back some memories.

Warnings : Talks of attempted suicide.

Word Count : 1806

More chapters will be posted as soon as I get time :) xx

"Ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the stage the Winchesters, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles and his wife the wonderful Mrs Y/N Ackles"

Richards voice rang loudly through the speakers as you made your way up the stairs and through the curtain to the stage, you were greeted by loud cheering and whooping from the audience, Richard and Rob welcomed you all with warm hugs and wished you good luck, you waited until Louden Swain had finished playing Carry on my wayward son before you raised your mic to speak.

" What's up Nashville " you all shouted into the mics at the same time making the crown cheer even louder than before.

" Wow y'all are loud " you said with a massive smile on your face, you turned to Jensen.

" Howdy y'all, it's good to be back, I do love me some Nashville "

Jared then raised his mic " How you guys doing today? Any first timers? " a lot of people in the audience cheered loudly making all three of you look at each other surprised.

" Really y'all have never been to a supernatural convention, this is your first one ? " you asked making them cheer again.

" How long have we been doing this ?" Jensen asked still in shock

" 14 years " Jared answered quietly " 14 years " Jensen got up from his seat a little and shouted into his mic " 14 YEARS "

" Some of you guys were only 2 when the show started so that's understandable " you said as you looked out across the audience before someone shouted from the back " I was only born " you jumped from your seat in shock and walked to the edge of the stage

" You were what, how old are you ? "

" I'm 14 "

" Your 14 oh my gosh WE'VE BEEN DOING THIS YOUR WHOLE LIFE" Jensen exclaimed.

“ When were you born ? “ you asked

" I was born in January " she answered

" January what ? " Jared asked

" January 25th "

" Two thousand and ? " Jensen trailed off trying to work it out

" Five " she answered back

All three of your dropped your mics in shock, Jared and Jensen slumped into their chairs whilst you just dropped to the ground at the front of the stage and lay there, the audience erupted into laughter and cheers.

" We’re so old " you said into your mic dramatically without moving making the audience laugh even harder.

" So you're what a freshman in high school ? "

" Yeah that's right "

" Oh my god freshman in high school, that's mind boggling " you sighed from the ground

“ I can drive too “ she shouted

" You can already drive ? " Jensen asked before turning to Jared and shouted " IT DRIVES "

" Alright alright calm down " Jared chuckled placing a hand on Jensen's shoulder

" Fun fact he still can't drive " Jensen stated matter of factly whilst looking out at the girl and pointed at Jared

" And I still got 22 years on ya " Jared said mockingly but then began to fake cry as Jensen pulled him into a side hug, the audience was laughing loudly at your guys reaction at this.

" Oh my god we gotta change the subject im not liking this " you said as you got back up from the floor and walked back to your seat. Jared turned his seat to face the right side of the stage " Yeah lets get some questions going, hey there " he said to the young girl at the left of the stage waiting with a mic " Hello everyone I just wanted to ask if there has there been anything embarrassing or funny happen on set recently ? " you let out a small chuckle and spoke first " Well I kicked Jared's ass last week whilst playing with Tom and Shep last week, all i'll say is that I a woman and 2 kids managed to pin him down whilst Odette attempted to give him a wedgie, Gen videoed thing I’ll get her to post it for you guys, that must have been a pretty big kick to the ego " the audience laughed as you blew a kiss in Jared's direction.

The rest of the panel went on like this, you guys making fun of each other, telling stories, making jokes and having tremendous fun with the audience, it wasn't long before it was time for the last question, you finally stopped laughing after Jared finished his story about the train in Europe and turned to face the girl standing to the left of the stage.

Now you were in front of her you could see her face was soaked with tears and she was shaking like a leaf, you pulled her into a tight hug and whispered in her ear " Its okay honey, what's the matter? "

" I uh um I just got a little overwhelmed sorry I wasn’t expecting to be chosen for a question, I just wanted to thank you guys for everything you've done for me this past year " you pulled away slightly but still held her arms, " What's your name ? "

" Its Gabriela but everyone calls me Gabby "

" Well Gabby i'm very pleased you’re here with us and that this massive family has helped you through a tough time and as Jared would say Always Keep Fighting because it will all be some sort of okay someday "

" Thank you so much, may I ask you how it is that you keep a positive mindset even when going through tough times ? "

You pulled her in for another tight hug before heading back up onto the stage, Jared handed you your mic as you sat back down between the boys again.

" Alright sorry about that guys, the wonderful Gabby has asked how it is that I keep a positive mindset even when things are tough and if i'm being honest it's pretty damn hard to stay positive sometimes, just like everyone else I do have days where I just don't feel happy, I’m run down or i'm feeling super unmotivated but I get through those days with the help of my friends and family, both on set and here with you guys " the crowd cheered loudly as you turned to Jensen and Jared who were both smiling at you gently.

" Surround yourself with those you love and who make you happy, shutting yourself away and pushing those people away can be the worst thing you could ever do, I did that and it was quite possibly the worst decision of my life, that and the haircut I had during season 4 I mean what was I thinking " you joked making the audience chuckle a little before they quietened down again.

" About 7 years ago I went through a pretty tough time and instead of speaking up and accepting the help that was right there in front of me, I suffered in silence and that led to my mental state getting so out of control that one day when I got home I broke down completely as soon as my front door shut, it had been a good day on set, the scenes weren't too hard and everything went smoothly but inside my head I was fighting a losing battle, so I just I locked myself in my flat and turned my phone off, I shut out the outside world completely " the crowd was eerily silent as they listened to you speak, you could even see a few people in the front row with tears in their eyes, taking a deep breath to calm yourself you started back into your story.

" Uh no one but Jared, Jensen and Erik Kripke know what happened that night but that was the night I tried to take my own life " you let out a shaky breath when you heard a few people in the audience gasp, Jensen wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side as Jared grabbed your free hand and squeezed it then held it between his two large warm hands as you continued.

" I had forgotten that these two were coming over to run lines for the episode ' A little slice of Kevin ', I wasn’t answering the door or my phone so they decided to break down my front door Winchester style, I’m about to get a tiny bit graphic here but when they charged into my apartment they found me lying on my bathroom floor covered in and lying in a puddle of my own blood, they got me to the hospital in time for doctors to save my life, I will always thank Chuck for putting these two Idjits on this earth " a few of the audience members chuckled whilst others awed when you leaned up and kissed Jensen gently then reached over and pulled Jared into a tight hug.

" Okay so the lesson you should take from that is that you need to wake up positive, never go to sleep angry with anyone because you never know what could happen, try not to worry about what might go wrong in the day, focus on what will go right no matter how small it may be whether it be going out for lunch with a friend or grabbing a coffee with someone you haven't seen for awhile, remember you never fail at anything, you just gain experience and knowledge you can use to help in a future situation " you pulled yourself from the boys and got up and walked to the front of the stage.

" Y'all I want everyone here to know that there will always going to be someone out there who is going to listen to whatever it is you have to say and if right now you don't know who that person it then come to me, my email is on my Instagram and twitter, you guys can send me private messages, I even have a P.O box if you'd like to write me a letter, i'll always be here to support you guys no matter what and i'll always try my best to help you in anyway that I know how " the crowd cheered and clapped as you made your way off the stage back to Gabby.

" Thank you so much for coming and asking your question today, if you ever need someone to vent or talk to then drop me a message and i'll try help the best I can " you wrapped your arms around her in a tight hug before heading back on stage which was now occupied by Richard and Louden Swain.

Jensen met you at the end of the stage and extended his hand to you to guide you back up the stairs as Jared spoke to everyone, " Thank you so much everyone for coming out, sorry if we bored you too much with our stories, well see y'all later on " the audience cheered and clapped as you guys waved before exiting the stage whilst Louden Swain played Your Love by The Outfield.

#supernatural #supernatural imagines #jensen ackles #jensen ackles imagine #Jared Padalecki #jared padalecki imagine #dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #Sam Winchester #sam winchester imagine #spn #alwayskeepfighting #jared x reader #jensen x reader #dean x reader #sam x reader

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yinzhengs · 5 years

Text

xia talks about 绅探 | detective l

— where i’ve been watching detective l: eng sub (YT) || raws (maplestage)

— so i’ve finally made my way thru all 8 eps that have been released thus far. i know some people have been asking for my opinion, so here’s a post that’s meant to hopefully sum up everything i’ve been feeling about this show, personally. any spoilers in my review are very minor!

if you’re not familiar with the show, it’s a sherlock holmes inspired mystery/crime show set in the shanghai french concession during the republican period, starring bai yu, you jingru, and ji chen. at the moment, the show’s at a 7.3/10 on douban, and it was trending at #5 for web-series, so it’s definitely enjoying popularity.

disclaimer: this is just my personal opinion — no matter how i feel about the show, i heavily encourage everyone to check it out for themselves before coming to a conclusion!

+ setting

you know, if there’s one thing i do dig about this show (in theory), it’s the setting. while i’m not a big fan of the set, for reasons i’ll go into below, i think the time period lends itself to some interesting setups and unique cases. as mentioned, it takes place in the republican period in shanghai’s french concession. if i had to guess, it takes place in the 30′s — but my chinese history is shaky, and this is entirely based on some throwaway details mentioned in later cases. suffice it to say that it's a pretty cool setting, and while i was skeptical at first, i did find myself getting into it.

+ characters

another thing i like about the show is the character concepts — in theory, if not always in practice. we have a kind of triumvirate in the main trio.

first, we have luo fei, the sherlock of the series and arguably its main character, who serves as a consulting detective for the shanghai police department. while he’s occasionally (mostly accidentally) an asshole, he’s generally likable and a far cry from the more eccentric/socially inept portrayals of sherlock holmes in modern adaptations. we start seeing a hint of his backstory in recent episodes, and cases soon start getting tied into his feud with an elusive “captain,” likely the show’s moriarty.

next, we have qin xiaoman, a rookie officer newly assigned to the dept, who has a fiesty temper and a fierce passion for making sure justice is served. in an enjoyable twist, she’s generally the one that does the heavy lifting: chasing perps down, aiming down sights, slamming suspects to the ground — she also soon learns to make deductions of her own, as well.

finally, we have........................benjamin (本杰明). his name / its transliteration makes me laugh a little bit whenever i see it, so generally i just refer to the poor guy as ben. anyway, he’s a reserved forensic examiner who also serves as the department’s forensic analyst — he pretty much lives in the morgue, and is more comfortable with the dead than with the living. (also, he has a pretty cute bromance with luo fei...) his backstory’s interesting, and i like his character a lot because it plays perfectly off of the other two’s preexisting dynamic — here’s hoping that he gets more screentime and development!

(ot3? ot3.)

+ cases

there are mixed opinions about the cases, but my personal take is that they’re pretty enjoyable to watch. while they’re not super hard to figure out / generally don’t have a whole lot of killer twists, they’re also not terribly unrealistic. they can get a little convoluted, but such is the eternal curse of mystery shows, i suppose. a lot of the smaller puzzles that luo fei solves are also contingent on some Pretty Chinese elements, which i found very cute (麻雀/麻将, 简谱, to name two). so yeah, they do a pretty okay job of taking classic mystery cases and making them fit in the setting given. more importantly, the process by which they unravel the cases is generally fun to watch, which is really the crucial part of any good mystery/crime show.

that being said, as someone who’s watched quite a few crime shows, i’m entirely not convinced that the writing for the cases is sufficient to keep me watching — even though they’re fun, i haven’t seen much so far that makes me feel like the show’s doing anything different from the usual formula. of course, that’s fine — crime shows don’t need to reinvent the wheel, they just need to make themselves worth watching, one way or another (normally thru character chemistry/acting, etc).

- some familiar sights/sounds...

why did they use the cinemasins stock sound effect multiple times

anyway, that aside, there are obvious nods to sherlock (bbc) — the main theme, luo fei’s initial appearance, the deduction scene in the car...

well, is it plagiarism? i guess not (or well, sina doesn’t think so), but what detective l’s doing here is less reinventing the wheel and more... repainting tires, if you catch my drift.

also, if you’re someone who pays a lot of attention to film ost’s, you’ll be assaulted with a LOT of familiar sounding melodies, be warned. this isn’t necessarily something that detracts from the drama, but it’s definitely something that’s thrown me for a loop / broken my immersion multiple times.

? tone

here’s where i start getting a little hesitant about the show, one of my main gripes: i’m really not sure what kind of tone the show is aiming for. while it’s clearly not a show that takes itself too seriously, and certainly not a dark/hard-boiled noir, occasionally there are moments included where characters rail at, for example, the imperfection/injustice of their supposedly impartial justice system — and while i’m not saying that the show can’t go there, it came off to me as just very thin attempts to increase the show’s depth while also not elaborating on those issues at all. and that’s what’s bothered me the most: the illusion of depth.

i’ll be the first to admit, though, that this is probably because i’m watching this directly after OS, which definitely tackled those issues from the start and had a radically different tone — i just feel like detective l, at least so far, hasn’t settled into one yet, and so i felt like there were some definite moments of tone incongruity / moments when i thought the show would continue with issues it’d raised ... but it didn’t.

- cinematography / lighting

take this with a disclaimer: i think the lighting and design in this show is gorgeous... for stills.

for a moving film? not so much.

i’ve said earlier that i felt like some of the lines felt scripted — but if anything enhances that artificiality, it’s definitely some of the set design. it’s clearly a studio set, and i can’t really begrudge them that part, but some of the lighting is so clearly artificial that it’s been starting to get to me — characters inside a normal room (lit by an innocuously dim overhead lamp) shouldn’t have three separate colors reflecting off their faces like a hobbyist artist’s color study sketches (though it does do a good job of highlighting bai yu’s jawline unnecessarily, in like, every other scene).

they’re clearly trying to create a mood through coloring / lighting, but ... often, i find, it’s at the cost of realism and could definitely be toned down a bit. (i find that over-the-top coloring is pretty common in cdramas, though, so this is probably also very subjective.)

(also, as with most cdramas.. they could probably do with less cgi.)

- acting / directing

alright, i’ll be honest: i’m not a fan of the acting in this.

in my personal opinion, something about the leads’ acting comes off as overly dramatized (esp. in xiaoman’s case) or slightly forced/artificial (in bai yu’s case). this could just be me not really being used to these two actors, but there were multiple times when i was surprised at how overdramatic/unrealistic some lines were delivered. same goes for minor characters, as well — something about the entire show just strikes me as extremely scripted, to the point where it breaks my immersion a lot. this might just be me, though, because i’ve def. heard some praises of the line delivery in this that i couldn’t wrap my mind around: take my words with a grain of salt, i suppose.

(also, of course, i’ve been watching this directly after coming from white deer plain — which has some really down-to-earth acting and a setting/tone that’s worlds apart from detective l. maybe i’m drawing too many direct comparisons: white deer plain definitely has some amazing acting, and it’s a high bar to set, esp for a drama filled with more younger actors.)

directing-wise... i definitely wish i could ask why they made some of the choices they did. while the subs haven’t reached that point yet, there are definitely some cliche tropes that they start throwing in around ep. 6 that heavily detracted from my enjoyment of the show, esp. with the show’s (perhaps over-the-top) use of slow motion at times + (imo) forcing chemistry before it’s had time to develop.

as a result though, i really can’t find myself getting attached to either of the main two (i like ben, probably because he hasn’t had enough screentime for me to be turned off yet, though) — i think that the acting choices for qin xiaoman definitely made her more unlikable for me despite me being a fan of her character in... theory. similarly, luo fei often feels too thin as a character — i’m constantly searching for depth there that i’m not sure i’m finding. so far, while these two are foils, they really feel like nothing more. maybe it’s too early to tell (but hey, i’m a third of the way through, aren’t i?), but i’m definitely finding myself wishing at almost every turn that there was more to the acting there — though they’re definitely being stingy with releasing characters’ backstories / hints to their backstories, which could help contextualize their behavior a little more.

overall: would i recommend it?

my very eloquent answer is... it depends. if you’re looking for a fun mystery romp that doesn’t always take itself too seriously with a unique setting and some interesting cases, then by all means: detective l might be up your alley!

that being said, i think it has a lot of flaws — notably, veteran crime show fans might not find enough flesh on the show’s bones to justify watching it for the cases alone — but if you can overlook them, it’s a fun show to watch: just don’t go in looking for stunning acting or dark moral quandaries.

#bai yu #白宇 #绅探 #cdrama #detective l #can we talk about how ben got relegated to third wheel in these posters tho lmfao #xia reviews #tragic really

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queenofcats17 · 5 years

Text

Three Old Men Hunt Ghosts

So, @aceofintuition posted some doodles of various AU’s they have involving their and @pipesflowforeverandever ‘s Joey’s. So I decided to write the Buzzfeed Unsolved one.

The man colloquially known as ‘Snowy’ Drew did not believe in ghosts. Not in the slightest. He liked things he could touch, things he could see. He liked things that were tangible. Ghosts didn’t really fall into that category. Unfortunately for him, the man who had dubbed himself his ‘best friend’ very much believed in ghosts. And a lot of other things that Snowy didn’t really put any stock in. ‘Gingie’ Drew was almost the polar opposite of Snowy. He was fair skinned where Snowy was dark, short where Snowy was tall, whimsical and fanciful where Snowy was practical and rational. Technically speaking, they shouldn’t have been friends. And, at first, they hadn’t been. They’d met at an animation conference. Both of them were in the animation industry and had that in common at the very least, as well as the fact that they were both named Joey Drew. At first, their opposing personalities had caused them to hate each other. Until, that is, they’d discovered one other thing they had in common. Their love for their children. As soon as they both found out the other had a child and would do anything for them, their hatred toward each other cooled, and they’d quickly become quite close friends.

But that was in the past. Now it was the middle of the night and Snowy was at the wheel of his car, Gingie in the passenger seat, headed to some random location that Gingie was convinced was haunted. In the backseat was Norman Polk, who was along to record the whole experience. See, Gingie had gotten the idea that it would be fun to start a web series. His daughter, adopted daughter really, liked watching videos on YouTube and had come across a web series where two men discussed supernatural occurrences and true crime. Gingie had thought this would be a marvelous idea. Snowy didn’t mind the idea. He found true crime to be rather interesting, and it was pretty entertaining to watch Gingie get excited about the supernatural.

“You just enjoy all the compliments you get in the comments.” Ana had said. She wasn’t wrong. Snowy didn’t mind all the comments about his attractiveness, as well as the ones about how cute Joy was. She’d been on a few episodes, but only the ones where he thought the content was appropriate. Gingie had brought on his granddaughter, Linda, a few times as well. Again, only when the content was appropriate, because Marvin had given Gingie a thorough talking to about what exactly Linda would be exposed to.

“Gingersnap, remind me why we have to do this in the middle of the night,” Snowy said as they drove down the dirt path to the cave. Because of course it was a cave.

“Well, you wouldn’t expect a ghost to just appear in the middle of the day, would you?” Gingie replied. How on Earth did he have this much energy?! It was almost midnight and they’d both gotten up at 6 that morning!

“It’s a cave. It’s always dark in a cave. They can’t tell the difference.”

“Well, yes...” Gingie hesitated a bit. “But the time is important. The supernatural is stronger during the witching hour.” Snowy resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Yeah, sure, that checks out.” He muttered.

A few minutes later they pulled up outside of the cave. They’d gotten permission to film in the cave, but there was still a guide from the park service waiting for them. The cave was, for the most part, undeveloped and thus rather dangerous.

“Hello.” The park service employee waved wearily. They were a tired dark skinned 20-something dressed in a park uniform. Judging from the circles under their eyes, they were probably a pretty new hire.

“Ah! You must be Ramirez!” Gingie scrambled out of the car, bounding up to shake the guide’s hand. They couldn’t help but smile a little at Gingie’s enthusiasm.

“Um, yeah. That’s me.” They replied. “Are you guys the two Drew’s?”

“Indeed we are!” Gingie grinned, shaking their hand excitedly. “I must say, it’s a pleasure to be here! Thank you so much for letting us film in the cavern!”

“Sorry we had to drag you out here so late,” Snowy said, walking up behind Gingie.

“It’s fine,” Ramirez assured him. “I’m used to being up this late anyway.”

“You in college?” Snowy asked as Gingie peered past their guide.

“Yeah. I’m in my last year.” Ramirez nodded. “I’m working here part-time right now, but eventually I want this to be my permanent job.”

“That’s a rather noble ambition.” Gingie turned his attention back to Ramirez. “It’s very important to take care of the beauty that Mother Nature has given to us.”

“You really think so?” Ramirez smiled shyly. “My aunt told me it was stupid. But...my family doesn’t really talk to her anymore anyway.”

“Well, that was rude of her.” Gingie’s smile quickly turned to a frown. He soon launched into a motivational speech for the young park employee. Snowy went back to the car to check on Norman. The projectionist was unloading the camera and sound equipment from the trunk, doing quick tests to make sure everything was working the way it should.

“Everything working?” Snowy asked, leaning down.

“So far.” Norman nodded, picking up the main camera and hefting it onto his shoulder.

“Thanks for sticking with us for this long,” Snowy said after a moment of silence. “We both really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem,” Norman replied. “If you both die horrific deaths, someone needs to record it.”

“Ha ha. Very funny.” Snowy rolled his eyes. But Norman didn’t laugh. Snowy turned back to look at him. Norman just smiled at him. Snowy knew Norman was, in all likelihood, joking. But you could never quite tell with him.

“Let’s, uh, let’s just go.” Snowy walked quickly towards the mouth of the cave. Norman hummed to himself, following. Gingie was still talking with Ramirez when Snowy and Norman got to them, both looking rather excited.

“C’mon, Gingersnap.” Snowy grabbed Gingie by his collar. “Henry’ll have a heart attack if you suddenly adopt another kid.”

“I-I’m not trying to adopt them!” Gingie sputtered, his cheeks turning red. “We were simply talking!”

“Sure you were,” Snowy said. “That’s what you said with Francine too, and now you’re practically her dad.”

“You do have a tendency to adopt young people you like.” Norman agreed.

“Not you too, Mr. Polk!” Gingie wailed. After a moment or two of bickering, they separated and got ready to do their intro.

“Hello everyone!” Gingie waved at the camera. “This week, we’re investigating Echo Cave in our continuing quest to answer the question, are ghosts real? I must say, I’m rather excited!”

“I’m just hoping I don’t get shit on by a bat.” Snowy shrugged.

“In any case, let’s go!” Gingie beamed and started into the cave, followed by Snowy and Norman. Ramirez snorted a little as they followed the trio of men. They hadn’t been sure what to expect when their boss had told them they’d be escorting the hosts of a web series through the cave but it certainly hadn’t been this. Still, they were certainly interesting men.

As they got deeper, the light began to fade, prompting them to pull out their flashlights. Norman had a head mounted one, while the other three just had flashlights they were carrying.

“So, what can you tell us about this place?” Snowy asked, looking back at them. Norman had begun recording by this point.

“Well, it’s a naturally formed cave,” Ramirez said, shifting into tour guide mode. “For the most part, it’s just home to animals. Black bears, raccoons, squirrels. Things like that. Humans didn’t usually come here. But...” They paused for dramatic effect, shining their flashlight under their face. “There was one significant incident where humans visited this cave. It happened in the winter of 1856. Two men, explorers, were driven into this cave by a blizzard. They were ill prepared for the harsh conditions, and their supplies soon ran out.” Gingie was walking alongside them, watching with an eager look. Ramirez started to grin, but quickly cleared their throat and put on a serious expression.

“They were in this cave for months, by themselves, trapped by the snow. Eventually, tensions began to rise. The two men began to turn on each other, convinced the other was out to get them. In the end, their hostilities boiled over, and they fought. Only one came out alive.” They lowered their voice. “And in the darkness of the cave, standing over the body of his friend, the victor’s hunger made itself known once more. It had been so long since he’d eaten. When other explorers found the cave, they found both men dead. The first from the fight, with great chunks of him ripped away. The second...from suicide. It appeared he was unable to cope with what he’d done. But no one was ever sure. They say his ghost haunts these caves, begging for forgiveness. Or maybe...Maybe he’s taken a liking to the taste of humans.” They leaned back, letting the words settle.

“Oh, bravo!” Gingie tucked his flashlight under his arm so that he could applaud them. “That was wonderful!”

“You sure know how to tell a story, kid.” Snowy chuckled.

“I didn’t go too far?” Ramirez smiled nervously.

“No no! Not at all!” Gingie said. “It was very engaging!”

“Ghost stories aren’t really my thing, but you seemed like you were enjoying yourself, so I liked it.” Snowy agreed. Ramirez felt a bit of color rising to their cheeks at this praise.

“In all seriousness,” they cleared their throat. “Two explorers did get trapped in here by a blizzard, one killed the other, probably ate some of the other to survive, and then died. And people do say they see a man in 19th-century clothing wandering around here.”

“Which is why you wanted to come here.” Snowy looked pointedly at Gingie, who smiled sheepishly.

“I was hoping I could help but his soul to rest.” He admitted. “I brought supplies as well!” He began digging around in the bag he’d brought.

“We better not get possessed,” Snowy muttered. “Ana would kill me if I let myself be possessed.”

“My dear Snowy!” Gingie let out a horrified gasp. “I would never let something like that happen to you!”

“Do they get in situations where they might be possessed often?” Ramirez whispered to Norman, who snorted quietly.

“More than you’d think.”

It didn’t take long before they’d reached the furthest point they could safely go. Ramirez told them when that was, gently tugging them back.

“Alright!” Gingie brightened. “Well, now that we’re here, would you mind terribly if I brought out the spirit box?”

“I hate the spirit box.” Snowy wrinkled his nose in distaste.

“I know you do.” Gingie smiled apologetically as he pulled out the device. “So I won’t run it for too long.” Ramirez was about to ask why Snowy hated the spirit box. Then Gingie turned it on. And after a moment or two, they understood. The spirit box was loud and the constant switching of channels produced an irritating static.

“Is there anyone here with us?” Gingie asked, his expression suddenly becoming serious. They all sat there in silence as the box kept switching channels.

“If there is anyone here with us, could you tell me your name?”

Still nothing, but Ramirez could have sworn the air around them had gotten colder. They could see their breath in front of their face.

“Our guide has informed us that you were trapped here with your friend.” Gingie continued, his gaze firmly on the spirit box. “And that you killed your friend. Do you have anything to say about that?”

For a moment, nothing happened. Then a voice came out of the spirit box.

“...erved it...”

“Could you repeat that?” Gingie said calmly.

“He...deserved it...” A chill ran down Ramirez’s spine at the voice coming from the box. It was low, raspy, and full of rage. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be!

“That’s hardly a fair thing to say.” Gingie shook his head, a disappointed look on his face.

"Pretty sure his only mistake was getting stuck here with you,” Snowy said with a snide smile. The air around them was only growing colder. Ramirez was beginning to shiver now, rubbing their hands on their arms.

“You know...nothing...” The voice from the box growled. Ramirez could almost make out the figure of a man over the box. A haggard looking man dressed in 19-century clothing.

“Oh, I think I know quite a bit.” Gingie smiled sweetly. “Such as how to get rid of you.” The figure of the man solidified and went for Gingie’s throat. Ramirez shrieked and stumbled back, dropping their flashlight. All the lights in the cave went out, leaving Ramirez in darkness. They could hear the sounds of a struggle, as well as Snowy cursing. When the lights came back on, Norman was standing over them, holding out a hand to the park employee.

“You alright?” He rumbled.

“I...There was a ghost.” They stammered as Norman pulled them to their feet. “There was a man! And he talked to Mr. Drew and- and-”

“A ghost?” Gingie looked around wildly. “Where?” He was still in the same position he’d been before the lights had gone out. Snowy was in the same place as well, yawning and stretching.

“I...I thought...” Ramirez stared at the space where they’d seen the ghost. They had seen a ghost, hadn’t they? It had to have been there.

“You alright, kid?” Snowy asked. “You took a bit of a tumble there when the lights went out.”

“I...I’m okay.” Ramirez nodded slowly. Maybe...Maybe they were just working too hard.

Gingie and Snowy messed around in the cave for a little longer before they had all the footage they needed and Ramirez led them back out of the cavern. The men thanked them for their time and left in Snowy’s car. When the video eventually went up, Ramirez watched it and found no evidence of the ghost they thought they’d seen. Maybe they’d been imagining things. But something about Gingie’s smile as he and Snowy had left made them wonder. Oh well. They had other things to worry about.

#bendy and the ink machine #batim au #fanfiction #buzzfeed unsolved au #joey drew #joey snowy drew #snowy drew #gingie drew #norman polk #tw: mentions of cannibalism #tw: murder

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ganymedesclock · 6 years

Note

So did you see the "ice popsicle" teaser? It's supposed to be foreshadowing one of the darker moments of Season 7. Do you have any theories on what it could mean? There are people who think it's foreshadowing that Pidge will betray the team, but I can't bring myself to believe that's true.

I saw the ice pop thing, and the version I saw was hypothesizing that Pidge would be captured, which I find far more likely than Pidge turning traitor.

Let’s just, for the moment, take every other reason Pidge wouldn’t- solidarity and teamwork and friendship and how much Pidge loves her friends and loves her family and would have every reason to resent anybody still fighting for Zarkon’s cause- clear the table of all that, and just poke at the practical.

What’s the empire got right now that Pidge wants bad enough to sell out her second family for it?

‘Cause just from where I’m sitting... not much.

Earth’s safety? Oh, pshyeah, like Sendak and Haggar are gonna actually keep their word and not get itchy fingers for the keys to Voltron. Pidge specifically has been around that song and dance especially when it comes to her family, and what she learned from that was that Zarkon is a dirty liar and it’s fair to assume his lovely wife and the person he practically raised as his own are gonna be about the same.

Heck, that kinda puts a damper on Pidge even seriously considering any olive branch Haggar or Sendak might wave at her- because the last time Pidge even considered taking them up on an offer, it was baited with probably the most valuable thing Pidge could ever imagine, and they burned her, bad. That makes me pretty sure the only time Pidge would really go for an offer Haggar would seem to make would be if she’s also seeking to fulfill an unspoken term of “and in return you will conveniently put your back in my taserin’ range”

Especially if the empire tries to pull a hostage situation with Earth... that’s not gonna be surprising or shocking to any of the team. They’ve been taking it as a given since season 1 that the empire is factually going to come for Earth. The word Allura uses in the very first episode is “inevitable”. Pidge hugged her dad goodbye and sent him home because everybody’s on the same page that the empire’s gonna attack Earth. And if they try to suggest hostage swaps... again, Pidge is the last person who’d look seriously at that bait because s5e2 is basically a case study in “Zarkon is a double-crossing cheat”.

And Sendak? Sendak’s literally named his faction the most blatantly white supremacist sounding bullshit ever- the “purity” he’s touting is no non-galra, no mixed race galra- and definitely no galra who ideologically disagree with Sendak’s game plan, either. There’s nowhere in this ideology that even the most fawning sycophant who’s not a “pure” galra could survive. And Pidge is the furthest thing from a fawning sycophant. She’s done a lot of damage to the empire and to Sendak personally- he’s not going to forget for a second how much of a threat she is. Even if he had any intention of genuinely negotiating, he’s not going to be satisfied until Pidge is muzzled and defanged in every conceivable way.

Pidge betraying the team isn’t a plot twist, it’s a stupid mistake. Her selling out Lotor in s5e2 was understandable because Zarkon was demanding someone she didn’t trust or care about and threatening the safety of someone who’s been half her driving motivation since the first episode in exchange- and that made her desperate enough to overlook how obviously likely it would be that Zarkon would double-cross them. If you’re not convinced she wouldn’t make the same mistake twice, I’d rewatch s5e2 and the way Pidge screams when she passes through the hologram of her father.

Pidge is going to do things that work or that at least seem reasonable from where she’s sitting. She’s gonna do something that she has a reason to believe or at least hope it’ll work out in her favor.

Right now? Empire’s got nothin’ on her.

Now, it is possible Pidge might cut an under-the-table deal with someone else, however.

The generals can nicely dodge a lot of the problems that Pidge would have with the main empire- namely the one where “I have no reason to believe you’re not immediately gonna double-cross me within point five seconds because you hate my entire existence and I’m your number one enemy.”

The whole of Team Sincline dances an interesting line of antiheroics- unlike Zarkon, Sendak, and Haggar, Sincline is able to prove reasonable to the heroes’ sensibilities, and depending on how the situation is, and where everybody stands? We’ve seen that long-term alliances between members can hold pretty strongly- at least, strong enough Allura, who’s nobody’s idiot, actually tried to start a relationship with Lotor.

And the Generals actually have some pretty good rep at this point- because when Lotor went hog wild attacking the paladins, the Generals disengaged. They backed off where he didn’t- and that’s something they could point to, if they had to thaw the heart of someone holding Lotor’s actions against them.

The generals could also have an easier ratio of offering Pidge something she couldn’t otherwise get, something really worthwhile- because they’re all about procuring unusual resources through sneaky channels.

Of course, the other side of this is it could be the Generals involved... but they might not be asking. Or offering.

It’s canon that magical entities, like the Black Lion, to save someone from death by taking their spirit into themselves. Presumably Black could do this for Shiro because he was right with them when he died and they had a mind-to-mind connection.

When Narti was killed, the camera lingered heavily on Kova, to the point that it returned to showing him next to Narti’s body at a point when every other character had abandoned the cruiser and was far away from it.

Kova also has a mind-to-mind connection with Narti and was right there with her when she died.

Narti is pretty clearly Pidge’s opposite number out of Team Sincline- the infiltrating, stealth-based “hacker”. This is something I’ve found suspicious for a while- since they obviously went out of their way to invoke her with Sincline’s final assembled form, and set her up parallel to a paladin, but her arc “seems” incomplete- which I don’t think is a testament to bad writing since no other dead character in the series, even ones who could have had interesting potential like Trigel, Gyrgan, and Blaytz feel unfinished in this way.

Especially because, again- Shiro’s return raises significant implications on Narti.

Double especially because the ships that shoot tethers at the paladins in the s7 trailer are a specific, recognizable party: both the opening that fires the grapple, and the tether itself, are obviously from the rotating-wing fighter ships used only by Lotor and the Generals.

Since the four surviving members of Team Sincline took the Sincline ships with them when they fled in s4e3, they left those ships behind on the cruiser. We haven’t seen them since- just like we haven’t seen the cruiser, implying it wasn’t retrieved.

This would imply that in order to get those fighters again, the generals would have had to return to the ship, finding Kova.

Kova, who has a decent chance of being a living phylactery for Narti, now that we know that’s possible.

So, okay, you might be saying, but what does this have to do with Pidge?

Well, I’ve already aired my theory the generals are going to be trying to steal the Lions and use them to enter the rift to retrieve Lotor. This would be emphasized if they’ve got Narti back- because Kova was specifically shown reacting with what looked like kitty concern to Zarkon declaring Lotor an enemy of the empire. If Narti’s in there, the implication is she’s worried about Lotor, even after he cut her down.

Pidge loves little cute animals. Her dog at home, the bunnies on the Green Lion’s planet, the fluffballs from the trash yard- she even adopted a few of them! She’d at least be likely to drop her guard around Kova.

And in s4e2, a repeated emphasis was placed that the Holts trust their minds, more than anything else- because as Matt smugly tells Pidge, you can hack a computer, but not a mind.

This always stuck out to me as a piece of dramatic irony... because before that episode, we’d seen Narti do just that.

Throk didn’t have the passwords for the Ulippa system base written down anywhere, or stored in a computer. He kept them in his mind. Narti used that. Because as Pidge’s counterpart, Narti is the specialist of Team Sincline when it comes to getting information- but she cracks brains the way Pidge cracks computers. And all she needs is a touch.

The paladins, of course... have no idea Narti can do that. During their allegiance, Lotor would have no reason to warn them about the powers of a woman who he personally knows died, and we don’t have much evidence he talked about the Generals at all.

It’s fair to assume if Narti escaped death by fleeing into Kova’s body, then she took her powers with her. So you have a cute, harmless looking cat, you have Pidge who is unlikely to look an unexpected friendly kitty in the mouth, and- just that easily you could have a paladin controlled. Which I think would be a much more effective shock because rather than “oh no a paladin’s being Tempted To The Dark Side” which they’re not really gonna get far on because these guys are basically tethered together to the waist by the Power of Friendship and there’s only so far you can toddle away from the group before you get bungee’d back, it’s “oh no our heroes are not as invincible as we’re comfortable believing they are and we have no idea how generous the responsible party is feeling.”

#voltron legendary defender #vld #Pidge #Narti #readmore #thenorthernphoenix

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jedipiff · 5 years

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1/4/2019 Late Night Article Diving

There's an article saying that most Americans still prefer to watch TV for news rather than be reading it. Well I would like to say I enjoy both, I have found myself reading late night articles more than ever. I guess it was cause I was fascinated with a piece on The Miracle At Tham Luang, when a whole team of soccer players and their coach got trapped on an afternoon trip through a cave. When a sudden rain onset hit a week sooner than planned, the water was overfilled with water and they were forced to seek safety wherever they could while trying not to battle the constant thought of that they all could die down there. The team was called Moo Pa, which is also translated to Forest Pigs or the Wild Boars. They recieved great advice from their mentor Coach Ek, who had trained to be a buddhist monk and guided them with his teachings.

Many people tried to work on their rescue and one person lost their life trying to set up oxygen tanks so that they could be taken out of the cave safely. While he did this, his own oxygen tank ran out and he wasn't able to make it back from the journey inbetween. Saman Gunan was his name and he was a retired Thai Seal who eagerly journeyed to this land on his choice to try to help rescue these boys. He didn't try, he more than succeeded and I wanted to start my piece off commeorating his bravery. So if anyone is interested in reading more about this inspiring and terrifying story, the best article I have read describing it can be found here https://www.gq.com/story/thai-cave-rescue-miracle-at-tham-luang by Sean Flynn a GQ correspondent.

On another random note, the U.S. Government is in a current state of shutdown over President Trump not getting a 5 $ billion funding to build The Wall. The Senate Democrats have rejected his proposal and Trump now plans to hold the government in lockdown for quite a long period of time he has announced. While this is a current issue going on, I do find it frustrating the government has to do this cause in the meantime I guess many National Parks and Zoos, along with many other residencies go into states of despair and disarray. Some officials will stay on has emergency personnel, but a large majority of the staff won't be there during this period of time.

A surprising one I learned tonight that many may not know, is that the US National Coast guard also goes without pay during this tme. I was reading a post about many disgruntled families, that wondered why they had to be affected out of all the military branches to have to suffer this. They weren't discrediting any other ones, they just said they do it for the love of the country as welll and it was very disheartening to them to be treated this way. I merely just wanted to touch upon the subject, though I will try to hold my frightening political views at bay. Radical, eccentric, a man that cares about the state of the world though that is actively trying to keep his mind more open to the ideas going on around him.

It was on another post that I was diving through Facebook, and I found a girl around my age which is 25 that was posting about the state of Global warming and climate change. There were several older relatives of her that were bewildered at the concept, and I didn't want to frown harshly upon it. They did not know what it was but it still raised my awareness that perphaps the older generation, may not have the exact knowledge of some of the things that we do now. Sure, using Alexa or switching to Netflix on your Smarttv might be easy to you, but to some parents that sounds like some voodoo magic.

I never commented though the girl was throuhoghly explainging to her family that we has a population were causing destruction to the earth. All our gases, fuels, land dumps and numerous other things would all be culminating to stuff that while may not seem like it's affecting us that much around you, is causing many changes throughout the World whether you realize it or not. The thought seems scary, I mean even the act of just using solar energy or switching how you maybe use water, to add more filters and purifiers can sound like some crazy traps to some folk. I don't know, I guess even with all this new technology I'm just saying that somehow we still remain blind.

On another thing, the future of the robot is seemingly coming to dawn upon us sooner than probably humans could have ever realized. Here we are now, where factories and many companies are using robots to help with their daily jobs. In a warehouse of Amazon recently one of the automated robots recently opened a car of bear repellenant spray and sent many hospital workers to the hospital. One of them even in critical condition. Now I'm not calling this the end of the world, but the fact that incidents like this are already happening is just making me already imagining what can of worms are going to be opened. I'm not hating on this future, I'm just saying with great strides in technology there will be many kinks and problems that you have to try to work out. Not everything goes perfect, and I am sure they try their best to make sure their workers are safe, I'm not trying to point that type of finger.

It's just the day a bot autofunctions and crushes a human like a soda can, with his body mangled and looking like a sack of fruit what will the world say. Well damn, does that mean my Xbox One S won't be delivered on time for Christmas then?

========

I'm still ever opposed to reading books through Ebooks or Kindle, any type of thing like a tablet or whatever. It's just when I want to sit down and dive into a world outside of this, the last thing I want to have to do is by diving into the internet world first. I was thinkng recently of a teacher I had in high school who whenever there was a book fair, would always go down looking for first edition books. One had said he liked collecting them they were more rare and to he said some could be quite valuable, ever since after that I always liked to try to keep my eye out for them to.

In my room I have several bookcases filled with many of my favorite stories and tales. In the past I used to be quite religious at one point and would drop off many bibles and other religious books at book centers or free libraries for them to be taken to be read. I would donate my fantasy books or horror ones I didn't like to, but I had gone through a period where I might have caught a religious fervor. I was for a period selling Bibles though, so it would make sense that eventually some of the text maybe would speak to me on some level.

One of these nights while dropping off the books at a free public library in Salem, Massachusetts I discovered one of the best books I have ever found. It was a book about the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, who is one of my favorite people to read about in history. It was written in an embellished epic kind of way, one where you get taken through the role of John Wilkes Booth his killer and what led in a dramatic fashion up to what the writer felt was all different motives and ways he went about killing old Abe. I never actually got around to finishing this book, but at the time I went to a small cafe nearby and find myself diving through it. It's a riveting tale, with a really unique way of going about that whole event that I really enjoyed the way they wrote it.

The book was called Manhunt The 12-Day Chase For Lincoln's Killer by James L. Swanson.

It's a great read even if you have heard the story a million times, you never had it told like this.

So at this note, I want to just relax and spend some time watching a show on HBO called Deadwood. An American Western largely all done by David Milch, it shows the gritty and insane side of life that may have been during that period of time. There's a great cast of actors on it and the setting and atmosphere are brutally done. Even the characters I want to like, the times they live in and the way they think make me wanna hate them sometimes. Though I see resemblances of the characters in the show to people now, I suppose time holds no difference between ignorance and disgust. You'll find a woman, who seems disabled and can't walk and no one even pays her a glimpse of mind. Even the doctors back then utterly cruel, and maybe some people get all the greatest doctor care but there's still issues and shit like that today. But she walks through the whole town and not even anyone bats an eye, but her resolve to fix her legs and fit in hit me in the feels. I have to keep watching just to see what she'll do, she wants to try leg braces to try to fix her ailment, but the doctor says it's one that she was born with and cant be undone. I can't say, I have seen miracles, but I'll let the show tell this story's narrative of her ordeal.

That's just one instance, and there's also a priest that is slowly losing his mind and suffering what seems like strokes and seizures. I'm not sure, I've only watched a few episodes but each episode gets sadder than the last watching his descent. He's becoming so fucked in the head, but I know it's not his fault. So there's that, if anyone likes Red Dead Redemption 2 or Westworld, than they might be interested in this. Not that it's anything like really either of those, this show is it's own style but it's very graceful in the way it's depicted.

I also realize that one of my sweetest joys is getting that 50 % off holiday candy at pharmacies after it's marked down. There's nothing like having a big bag of hershey kisses for only a few dollars. Most definetely chocolate causes an overdose of love in my brain.

#random #writing #news #original #bored #insomnia #usa #world

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