#it's been years and i still can't figure out if i want him or want to be him

[mssainz]

PART 6 | AFTER FIVE YEARS

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Reader

Summary: Carlos Sainz finally met his son he had with her ex-wife, Y/N.

Warning: Typos

AN: Please don't mind the time stamps

You choose a casual and comfortable outfit for the day: a white tee, beige trousers, and a white cardigan, and finish it off by spraying Chanel Paris Deauville on your neck and wrist.

“Mama, where are you going?” Asks Cael, who is lying on your bed, watching you get ready.

You sit on the edge of the bed and stroke your son's hair. “Remember what you told Mama yesterday when we were having pancakes? You said you wanted to see Papa and watch his race. So, Mama is going to see Papa today and ask if you can watch his race,” you gently explain.

“Really Mama? You'll meet Papa?” Cael sits up, flashing a vibrant smile.

“Yes, my love. I can't bring you because Papa and I need to talk first. But someone who misses you is coming to take care of you,” you say, placing Cael on your lap and planting a kiss on his plump cheeks. He gives you a confused face, wondering who's been missing him.

“You wanna take a guess?” you ask, smiling at your son who is trying to figure it out.

“Is it Uncle Charles, Mama?” Cael guesses.

“Oh, how did you know?” you ask, surprised that he got it right.

“He always misses me. He says so even though we often meet, Mama,” Cael says, causing you to laugh.

As you two are playing in your bedroom, the doorbell rings. It's Charles.

“Hey buddy!” Charles immediately lifts Cael, ignoring you who opened the door for him.

“Hello to you too Charles,” you said sarcastically.

“Hello, Y/N” he said, greeting you too late.

“Thanks for coming, Charles,” you say, while he's busy kissing your son.

“But stop smooshing your face on my son's face. It’s a bit too much,” you add.

“Can't help it, he is so cute,” Charles replies.

“I'll go now, please take care of him,” you say, kissing your son goodbye. And before you can even open the door, Charles yells something.

“Don't forget to bring a condom!”

“Shut up, Charles” you said while flashing your middle finger to him.

“Uncle Charles, what's a condom?” Cael asked him.

“Uhm, it's a balloon bud. So you won't have another sibling when they get back.” Charles grins at Cael who is confused about how a balloon prevents him from having a baby brother or sister.

When you arrive at the restaurant, Carlos is already there waiting for you. He greets you with a smile as you approach his table. The atmosphere feels lighter than the last time you two met.

Maybe it's just the sunlight that makes everything seem brighter.

“Did you already order?” you immediately ask as you sit down.

“Uhm, not yet,” Carlos replies. You call out for the waiter to order.

As you scan the menu, Carlos interjects, “You want your usual?” Surprised, you nod and let him order for you.

“One creamy mushroom pesto for her, please, and one tomato pasta for me,” he orders.

So he still remembers what I like. Interesting.

“Thank you for coming, Y/N. I'm sorry about..” Carlos starts.

“Let's not talk about it Carlos. I'm good, we're good. Things like that happen,” you interrupt. Carlos can tell that you're still upset about what he said but you want to move past it.

“We came here to Madrid because Cael has been asking for you. He badly wants to meet you.”

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner about our son because, well, things happened between us,” you say, lowering your gaze to the table.

“I understand, Y/N. Like you said, things happen,” Carlos replies.

“He knows you, Carlos. He knows what you do. He knows that you're his father. You just have to meet him,” you say, meeting his gaze and offering a small smile.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

The pastas arrive and you both start to eat.

“I'm so excited to finally introduce myself to him. But I'm also kinda nervous,” Carlos admits.

“You don't have to worry about it, Carlos. Your son really loves you,” you reassure him.

“Can you tell me about Cael? Like when he was born? What does he like? How is he?” Carlos asks shyly. He wants to get to know his son and catch up on the four years he's missed.

“Well, Cael was born on March 15. He's really cute, looks just like you,” you begin.

“So you're telling me I'm cute?” Carlos teases, interrupting you. You give him a stern look before continuing.

“Ugh, I hate your smile,” you say, rolling your eyes at him.

The audacity of this man, really.

“He loves cars, I think more than you do. He's also very smart and observant. Our son is very empathetic,” you continue.

“Really?”

“Yeah, you'll be amazed when you finally get to know him,” you assure him.

“How about you? How are you?” he asks.

“You have nothing to do with me, let's keep it that way,” you say, putting up an immediate barrier. You can only allow Carlos to be part of your son's life, but not yours. He caused too much damage in the past, and you won't allow further heartbreak.

I've had enough, Carlos.

After an hour or two, you and Carlos drive to your place. You're silent the whole time, thinking about how happy Cael will be to finally meet his father.

Before you can even get out of the car, Carlos takes a deep breath.

“Hey, look at me, Carlos. Don't worry, okay? Everything will be fine,” you say, absentmindedly cupping his face.

“Sorry,” you apologize, removing your hands from his face.

“It's okay,” Carlos says, amidst the awkwardness.

Once inside, you find Charles playing with Cael in the living room. Cael immediately runs to you when he sees you.

You enter first while Carlos waits outside for your signal.

“Hey, how was it?” Charles asks, referring to your meeting with Carlos.

“He's outside,” you mouth, while holding your son.

“Okay, my job is done. I'll go now, Y/n. You two take care.” Charles fist bumps with Cael before leaving. He sees Carlos standing at the door and wishes him luck.

“Cael, honey. Do you remember Uncle Chili?” Cael nods at you.

“You mentioned that he looks like Papa, right? Actually, he doesn't just look like Papa. He is Papa,” you explain.

“Really Mama? So Uncle Chili is my Papa?” Cael's face lights up. You nod and open the door.

“Hey bud,” Carlos greets Cael.

“PAPA!” Cael immediately runs to Carlos. Their embrace is warm and heartfelt, much like the first time they met.

“Thank you,” Carlos mouths to you in between their hugs and tears of joy begin to fall from his eyes.

AN: Here's the next part guys. Carlos finally met Cael, for real this time. Let me know your reactions hehe. Comment down if you want to be added to the taglist. I hope you like it. Thank youuu!

TAGLIST:

@seasonswinter @charizznorizz @itsjustkhaos @celesteablack @timmychalametsstuff @viennakarma @i-love-ptv @evie-119 @somepeoplemaybe @amberpanda99 @gotthatname @karlossainz @khaylin27 @hc-dutch @avengers-assemble123456 @likedbygaslyy @xoscar03 @yukiotadako @barcelonaloverf1life @heyheyheyggg @sunny44 @mxdi0 @casperlikej @ironmaiden1313 @biitch-with-wifi @elia-the-bibliophile @nataliazzzz @bernelflo @lillunna @loloekie @jinimon-tr @glai1023-blog @not-nyasa @jolixtreesunn @changetyre @thatsusbitch @distancedss @miarabanana @voidsfics @jasminesacademia @glow-ish @ccallistata @carpediem241108 @thearchieves @kenzeyeballs @formula1simp @dessxoxsworld @hoeforsirius @norwayxo

#f1 x reader #f1 x you #formula 1 x reader #formula one x you #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz #afterfiveyears #f1 imagines

[maraudersmyloves]

hii! i have a request i thought of a few days ago, fem!reader x slytherin boys (mainly mattheo riddle) where they noticed something wrong with her and she lies about it and mattheo says something along the line of “cut the bullshit”

CW: cussing, Angst, insecure reader, screaming, Arguing

You've been hanging out with the Slytherins less and less, not eating with them or hanging out at Blaise's Dorm after class.

That Fact alone wouldn't be unusual. It's exam Season after all and you often spend that time holed up in your Dorm, Studying and Eating what your Roommates bring you up.

The Problem occurs when you stop coming to Sunday Hangouts.

It's not an actual Agreement or anything, but it's become a Routine never broken.

Never.

No matter what's going on, on Sunday at around 9 PM you all meet at the Greenhouse.

Mattheo's always the first there and Tom's the last.

Pansy never figured out a certain time she would arrive while Draco always turns up at exactly 9:06:56

Down to the motherfucking Second

Blaise always brings a Book he doesn't read, Theo always forgets the Snacks he's supposed to bring and brings the sweets only he likes instead, while you always bring a Sketchbook.

It's 9:34 and you're not here.

You weren't there last week but Blaise convinced the others to talk about it Today.

Mattheo was stressing about talking with you and got into an all-time high of fights all week.

Now, you're not here.

Everyone is here

Except for you

It's pissing Mattheo off and at this point, the others are just as peeved

You are in your room crying

You know you should be at the Greenhouse rn, and doing anything else feels weird

The last 3 years you have spent every Sunday at the Greenhouse

For two weeks you haven't

The Slytherins loudly knock on your door and you quickly wipe away the tears, taking a few deep breaths to seem more collected

Mattheo sees your red eyes and is immediately worried although anger quickly overcomes him

Why didn't you tell him something was wrong?

God, why can you never just talk to him??

"Oh, hi guys!"

You force a smile but they see through it

"Wtf, y/n. Where have you been, what's going on???"

"I've just been studying, you know how i get"

"Cut the crap, wtf is actually going on?"

Blaise pulls him back a bit to not make you feel cornered

Theo steps forward, missing the point of Mattheo getting pulled back "We worry!! You can't just cut contact for two weeks. We excused you not coming to hang out last week but two times in a row?!"

"Calm down guys, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation to all of this, Right?" Pansy says, but the last words have some venom you didn't expect.

Not from her

Your best Friend

Hot tears fall from your eyes and Tom pulls Pansy to the side while Mattheo steps closer, his eyes filled with worry

"Mi Vida? Can I hug you?"

His Voice is soft and his open Arms look so inviting.

You want to step back and say no so badly when you remember the words that caused this, but you can't bring yourself to do so. Silently nodding

He wraps his arms around you in a matter of seconds pulling you as close as he can.

You can hear Blaise's annoyed voice talk the others into leaving you alone

He is the only one smart enough to realize how overwhelmed you are

One after the other they usher out

All with various amounts of Backtalk, while you and Mattheo stay still. Standing in the middle of the now empty room, Papers and Books scattered all around you, Mattheo buries his Head in your Neck.

"Wanna tell me what's wrong, baby?"

Pt. 2 with Backstory and more Angst?

#headcanon #fluff #writing #fanfic #harry potter #mattheo x reader #mattheo riddle #mattheo x you #mattheoxreader #mattheo x y/n #mattheo riddle x reader #slytherin boys react #slytherin #slytherin boys x reader

[eufezco]

civil war!bucky x fem!reader ( angst , fluff ) no use of y/n

based on the captain america: civil war post credits scene

a / n : english is not my first language so yeah 😭 also my request are open for mavel characters (especially bucky and steve)

You had doubted whether to go or not.

You had been up almost all night, the dark circles under your eyes spoke for themselves. You tried to get some sleep but it was impossible. You moved nervously in bed from side to side. After not finding a comfortable position, you got up and started walking around your room in an attempt to calm your nerves but the four walls were suffocating you.

Steve found you throwing up in the bathroom, on your knees, and with tears in your eyes. He held your forehead so you could let it all out and then wiped your mouth. Steve gave you enough time to recompose and when you were done, he sat on the bathroom floor with his back against the wall and let you lean against his chest while you sobbed. You should let him sleep, it had been a long day for everyone, your bodies were still aching from the fight and Steve had enough to worry about. But despite all that, Steve's strong arms held you tightly close to his body, as if he was trying to hold back the part of you that he knew would leave with Bucky.

Steve took you in his arms and carried you to the couch where he placed your head on his lap, wrapped you in a blanket, and caressed your hair until you fell asleep. When you woke up, Steve wasn't home.

You had doubted whether to go or not but in the end, you went because if you didn't, you would never forgive yourself.

—Hi.

—Hey —. Bucky let out all the air he'd been holding in, relieved to see you.

When Steve arrived and you weren't coming with him, Bucky couldn't help but feel bad. He knew it could happen and he didn't blame you for it. You had already lost him twice, you weren't going to take one more, you didn't deserve to go through that again. The idea of being away from you again did not appeal to him either.

Steve, on the other hand, wasn't surprised to see you. Last night you let it all out in the toilet and on his shirt, and you got some sleep, so he figured you would have regained your strength. Or at least you would pretend that you had, the thing was, that he knew you were coming. —I'll go and talk to King T'Challa —. He said and walked out, leaving you and Bucky alone.

You slowly approached the gurney where Bucky was sitting. The metal arm was gone and only the part attached to his shoulder remained. His wounds were treated and on his face, you could finally see a peaceful expression. His brows were not furrowed, his jaw was not clenched, instead he was showing you a sad little smile.

—How are you—? How are you doing?

—I'm good. I'm ready. How are you? —He asked back.

—I'm fine I guess.

After your answer there was silence.

Bucky knew you were lying because of your tone of voice. He was aware of your disagreement with his decision. Steve also had asked him many times if that was what he wanted but this was not about what he wanted or not. Now that he had reclaimed his ability to choose, he had to use it to do what was right, and what was right was to go back to sleep until there existed a way to free him completely from the Winter Soldier program.

—Buck, you know you don't have to do this.

He shook his head at your words. Of course you wouldn't stop trying.

—I can't trust my own mind. —You were going to complain again but he talked before you could. —And as much as I would like to make up for all the time we've lost, I have to do this. Until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head I think going back under is the best thing. For everybody.

Now it was you shaking your head. For everybody but you. After all these years you had finally gotten him back, after thinking he was dead, after fighting your friends defending his innocence, you were going to lose him again.

Without saying a word you placed your hand on top of the one he had resting on his leg. The sad smile appeared on his lips again and he looked down at your hands. The touch of your fingers on his skin felt nothing like the human contact he had been experiencing these past few years. Your touch was gentle, your fingers rested on his hand delicately, as if you were afraid of breaking him. It was the first time in a while that anyone had cared about that. Bucky flipped his hand over to link your fingers together.

Using your free hand you lifted his chin and you not only made him look at you but also made his lips at the perfect height for you to kiss them. You pressed your lips against his, he squeezed your hand. Yours moved from his chin to rest on the side of his jaw, your thumb caressing his cheek. You didn't know how or when you started crying but you felt the hot tears slide down your cheeks until they mixed with the kiss. Bucky felt the salty taste and after a few seconds, he broke away from your lips. He rested his forehead against yours and let your hand go to cup your cheek and wipe your tears.

—You are making this very hard —. He mumbled against your mouth.

You kissed him again because it was either that or trying to convince him one last time not to do it. Bucky's hand cupped your cheek, god, if only he had his two arms and could touch you and feel you the way he wanted. Bucky's lips gladly kissed you back one more time, until you both heard Steve fake coughing behind you.

You parted ways, already missing the feeling of his lips and hand on you. Steve came with two nurses and you knew that it was time. You felt your legs weakening but you could not break down in front of Bucky so you hugged yourself and hid yourself in Steve's chest. Your friend wrapped one of his arms around your body.

—She'll be fine. I'll take care of that.

Bucky pressed his lips together and nodded, thanking Steve.

—I'll wait for you —. You said and Bucky flashed you one last smile. He hadn't asked you to because he didn't want to be selfish but he was waiting for you to tell him so. Hearing you say that you’ll wait for him gave him the peace of mind he needed to breathe in the cold gas filling the cryostasis chamber.

#marvel #bucky barnes #winter soldier #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fluff #bucky angst #bucky smut #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #winter soldier fluff #winter soldier angst #winter soldier x you #winter solider x reader #sebastian stan #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #the avengers #avengers fluff #avengers fanfiction #marvel fluff #marvel angst #avengers x reader #marvel fanfiction #sebastian stan fluff #the falcon and the winter soldier

[lovelytsunoda]

does he take care of you? // george russell

does he take care of you? or could i easily fill his shoes, but you say 'no'. yeah you said 'no'... and i'm not trying to stop you love, if we're gonna do anything we might as well just fuck

summary: they had always been walking a fragile, tender line between friends and lovers. they were bound to cross it at some point.

pairing: george russell x bonnington!reader

warnings: an attempt is made at angst, people can't properly deal with their feelings. minor drug use, insinuations and non detailed sex (but bestie bonnington can’t deal with her feelings properly so she bails when things get serious-) one small little insinuation that someone might jump off a building. loosely inspired by the song 'sex' by the 1975

it was dark outside, nearing ten pm at the track when peter bonnington came to find george. george was in his drivers room, looking over printouts of race data, trying desperately to figure out where he could improve the following weekend.

“I hate to bother you, mate.” peter started, “do you have a moment?”

thankful for the reprieve from straight line speed and throttle graphs, george folded the printouts back into their legal folder and turned to look at the engineer. “what do you need?”

there were lines furrowed on bonnos brow. the man looked stressed, and george had a feeling that it wasn’t due to the cars subpar performance.

“I need you to talk to y/n. she hasn’t been doing well these past few months and I’m starting to get really worried. she won’t talk to me and she won’t talk to her mum. toto tried to ask her about it and she threw her drink in his face. something is wrong with my little girl and she’s shutting me out.”

george frowned (although he had to admit that the mental image of babe bonnington throwing the icy remainder of her pink starbucks refresher onto the great toto wolff made him laugh). “when did all this start?”

“when she came back from wales a few months ago, that big work trip. I think it has something to do with that wanker matthew she was dating, he hasn’t been around the house since before she left.”

“do you know where she is?”

“the roof, I think.”

at the look george gave him, bono sighed, shaking his head. “she’s not gonna jump. she just wants peace and quiet. I think the inside of her head is too loud. besides, the motor home isn’t high enough off the ground for anything serious to happen if she falls.”

“still, why would you let her be on her own right now?”

“she didn’t give me a choice.”

after a bit of floundering (and a trip back down the stairs after he realized he’d forgotten a coat), george found his way to the roof. from here, he couldn’t quite see the track, but he could see the lights and hear the sounds of the paddock, watching the last few stragglers exit their team homes and head for the front gates.

y/n sat at the edge, feet pulled up under her and a halo of smoke around her messy hair. her clothes were baggier than normal, darker than usual. when she turned to face him, the driver could see that her eyeliner was smudged, a single mascara tear running down her cheek. in her hand, she shakily clutched a lit joint, the embers at the end glowing orange in the night.

“I thought you quit that?” george asked, concern evident in his tone as he moved to sit next to her.

“fucking mattys fault.” she grumbled, taking a long drag of the fragrant plant. “he’s set my anxiety issues back about five years, figured it was time to go get my cbd prescription refilled.” she stopped, taking another drag before exhaling the smoke and offering it up to george. “it won’t get you high, but if we share it, it will make this look less sad.”

george frowned, taking the joint from her hand and taking a shaky drag, choking in the smoke as it filed his lungs. “what did he do? did he touch you?”

she laughed sadly, defeat in her eyes as she looked over the paddock. “nope. what he did hurt a whole lot more. when I got back from wales I went over to his apartment to surprise him, since my flight had gotten in a few hours early. he was in bed with another woman. and this wasn’t the first time, either. he’s been seeing her almost as long as he’s been seeing me. apparently she didn’t know I existed, and he was thinking about marrying her. I was fucking humiliated, george.”

“I’m so sorry.” he didn’t know what to say as he passed the joint back. she took a long drag, refusing to meet his eyes until he had reached over to shake her gently by the shoulder. “you did nothing wrong. you are pretty and funny and smart and most of all worthy of love. if matty couldn’t see that, then he didn’t deserve you in the first place, y/n.”

it happened so suddenly it almost knocked the driver on his backside. they were just talking, sitting comfortably in the marijuana smoke and then suddenly the engineers daughter is kissing him. soft, guava lips pressed to his, pillowy from all the tropical lip balms she can’t seem to put down. her hands are hungry, extinguishing the joint against the metal motor home roof before pawing at george’s broad frame.

they had been friends for years, yn considered him one of her closest. it must have been the part of her that needed reassurance that said ‘it’s okay, cross the line’ because soon enough, he was kissing her back, tongue exploring her mouth with reverence, hands gripping her waist through her mom jeans, then slipping into her back pockets to cop a feel.

“is there anyone left inside?” she panted, resting her forehead against george’s, hand splayed against his clothed chest.

the driver shook his head.

“good. I want you.”

and then they were in his drivers room, everything happening so fast that it felt like a fever dream. and then it happened, her jeans and panties on the floor, stripped down the lacy camisole she’d had on under her sweater, back on the massage table as she wrapped her bare legs around george’s hips, his hands gripping thighs hard enough to leave marks as he pounded into her, sweat dripping off the tips of his brown hair.

“god, fuck, george, please!” none of the words leaving her mouth were coherent. it didn’t matter. this was about avoidance, a mere distraction, if you will.

she needed to be fucked so hard she couldn’t think about all the bullshit matty was putting her through.

when all was said and done, her mind blissfully clear as she lay prone on the massage table, feeling the sweat dry on her flushed skin as she watched george tuck his cock back into his jeans, all she could find it in her to say was “god I needed that.”

and from there, it was all too easy to fall into a dangerous pattern that didn’t help anybody. one that tord a line so fragile it might as well have been made of salt, intended to keep the deeper feelings out.

the night in george’s drivers room turned into a quickie the next morning in the airport bathroom, bent over the vanity in front of a mirror, panties around her ankles and a massive hickey tucked into her turtleneck as they sat across from each other on the private jet, sharing a glance and smiling at the secret they shared,

eventuakly, back on home soil, the driver became her coping mechanism. when she wanted to go out but her friends were busy, george was the first person she called, pulling up to his house in her toyota corolla, synth-heavy music that was popular on tumblr in 2014 shaking the frame of the car. she turned it down as george opened the passenger door, giving her an odd look as the guitar solo played quieter in the background.

“how can you think when it’s that loud?”

“that’s the point. I can’t. it keeps the thoughts at bay.”

that night had ended in the back of an empty parking garage, movie theater popcorn and a takeout box left abandoned on the passenger seat, y/n on her knees with george’s rock hard length in her mouth. hearing him moan her name was its own kind of drug, and hearing him call her ‘good girl’ was enough to have her clenching around air.

or when george would come over, and they would make a new recipe together, criminal minds playing in the background. how many nights did the dinner end up burning while george had y/n's legs spread wide on the dining room table?

and while the act itself brought him nothing but pleasure, it was the aftermath that left him feeling like shit. he knew this was never going to go any further, that y/n was just looking for a rebound. something to take her mind off just how fucked her last relationship had been.

george would never be anything more than a friend, someone she could fuck when she needed it and be platonic with when she didn't.

she deserved better, someone who could take care of her in teh way that her heart ached for.

someone like george william russell, he thought.

but who was he to decide what was best for her? maybe he could show her, treat her right and change her mind somehow. but he wasn’t sure how to do it.

it was a night like any other, over a game of uno and a bottle of white wine, reruns of coronation street playing in the background, the smooth jazz of the intro and outro music only adding to the atmosphere.

and of course, as nights like these do, the cards ended up discarded on george’s living room floor, bodies mushed together in a heap in front of the soft blue glow of the tv. he picked her up bridal style, deftly lifting her weight as if she weighed nothing, carrying her to the master bedroom.

the bedroom. a place so intimate and so forbidden. their relationship had subsisted on having sex anywhere but a bed, for a bed would make it too real. there would be too many feelings involved.

and yet here he was, taking a massive leap into the unknown, uncharted waters as he laid her down against the linens, caging her body in with his as he kissed her.

a kiss so different from all the others that they shared, this one soft and tender. no teeth and no tongue, just the soft caress of a man’s chapped lips, done with reverence, as if her body was a treasure.

he trailed his soft, open mouthed kisses down her neck, no words exchanged between the two as his hands began to slide up her black t-shirt, over her belly-button piercing and then coming to rest over the padding of her bra as his lips traced her collarbone. he was in tune to her every movement, every whine and gasp.

he kissed down her stomach, feeling it rise and fall with her every breath. listening to the way that her breath caught as he popped open the button in her skinny jeans, dragging them down her legs and watching the goosebumps rise in their wake.

“george,” she hummed as he kissed and nibbled at her inner thigh, so close yet so far from what she needed.

“george!” it was a shout this time, paired with her small hands aggressively pushing him away. “I can’t do this. what are we doing here?”

“what?” george was wide eyed an confused “I’m treating you like a decent fucking boyfriend would! I like you yn, and you mean a lot to me. you deserve more than some cheap fuck in the backseat. you deserve to be treated like a treasure.”

she shook her head, standing up from the bed and pulling her jeans back on, refusing to meet georges eyes as she faced the firestorm of thoughts in her head, each one telling her that she had made a horrible mistake.

“we can’t. there was a line, and we crossed it.” her voice was shaky, bottom lip quivering. she was doing the right thing, or so she kept telling herself. putting that boundary back.

because they were friends. nothing more, nothing less.

george laughed. an awful, grating sound in this context. “you weren’t worried about crossing lines when you let me fuck you on my massage table. or when you had my cock down your throat.”

“please don’t take that tone with me!”

“I know matty hurt you. and I know you needed a rebound, but I want all of you, yn. I want your good days and your bad. I want to take care of you.” he was getting desperate. they both knew that there was no such thing as ‘just friends’ after this.

“I can’t be what you need, and I can take care of myself.” she tucked her hair behind her ear before storming last george and back into the living room.

george would always regret letting her leave. somehow, as he watched her grab her purse and her leather jacket and the keys to her fucking toyota, that this would be the last time he saw y/n bonnington.

and he was right.

he didn’t see her start to cry when she got into her car, driving to an empty space of road so she could pull over into the shoulder and let it all out, the radio tuned so loud that she swore it was shaking the frame of the car. and that’s when she decided it was time to reevaluate her life.

george didnt see her again for months. he heard from bonno that she quit her job, moved out to the coast. somewhere on the water. brighton or blackpool or bournemouth. a new group of friends, a new job, a fresh start.

she sold the toyota, bought herself a mini cooper countryman, a car she’d wanted since she was a little girl. she stopped wearing tight, dark clothes and starting seeking out florals, pastels even. flowier clothes that made her feel good.

and she was happy. from time to time, she still thought about that night at george’s. in a way, she was thankful. it had forced her to change, to become a better person. a healthier one. but she hated that she had hurt him. played with his feelings and then stomped on his heart. but deep down, she knew she had done the right thing. she could never have been the girlfriend that george needed. she was too broken.

george saw her again a year later, in the paddock at silverstone. he hardly recognized her: new hair, wide smile. mom jeans and a floral crop top that looked straight out of the seventies. she looked good. happy. healthy.

but there was something else he saw that hit him like a knife to the kidney.

it was the man on her arm. he was conventionally attractive, if you liked surfers. his dark hair flopped around his face the same way hugh grants did in ‘notting hill’ and his sunglasses were hooked into the collar of his striped resort shirt, left open for the top few buttons of course. she looked at him like he’d hung the moon, and he held her like she was the most important thing in his life, always having an arm around her shoulders, tucked into the back pocket of her jeans.

his name was colin. of course his name was fucking colin. like he was a character in fucking love actually, and not the man dating the woman george had so vulnerably bared his heart to.

he’d pulled out his phone, open to her number even though he’d sworn to himself that he’d delete it but he never did.

the text was right there in the message box, waiting to be sent.

does he take care of you?

but when he looked over at them again, his arms around her waist and his head on her shoulder as she was pointing out different things on her dad computer monitor, george knew the answer.

colin took incredible care of her, and he seemed to be exactly what she needed.

and how could george fault the other man for doing exactly what he would if y/n had been his?

he deleted the message without sending it, quietly slipping out of the garage, with the intention of working out until he couldn’t feel the pain any more.

TAGS:

@magnummagnussen @libraryofloveletters @userlando @httpiastri @clemswrld @thatsdemko @diorleclerc @cartierre @lorarri @sidcrosbyspuck

#george russell #george russell x reader #formula one x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 smut #george russel x reader #george russell x you #george russell smut

[blood-orange-juice]

I think another reason of why I prefer Scaramouche and Nahida to have a siblings/friends dynamic rather than a parent-and-child dynamic is because it's a step away from how Scaramouche used to deal with people.

Which is forgetting they have their own lives, interests and perspectives and demanding they focus on his needs. An angry infant crying out for help. He saw a 6yo kid dying from a terminal ilness as a betrayal.

This is a perfectly normal behaviour for an infant but he's 500 years old at this point. And, despite of what he claims, other people did love him a lot and he has received a lot of care and nurturing from others. It just didn't help him because he was so busy with mourning what he lacked.

Sometimes you don't need an expert or a parental figure or more nurturing as much as you need to own your shit. And it's a huge part of healing, letting go of the perfect image of what might have been and discovering that the life you do have is beautiful in its own way.

His story is about letting go of a wish that is impossible to grant. He won't get the mother he always wanted or a human heart. He can't. Yet he can still make a friend and he can learn to belong in a different way.

So he does own his shit, as his personal quest shows. He has also started noticing other people's interests, as the festival event showed.

And yes, I get it, therapy, transference, handling your trauma through projecting parental figure on a therapist and getting the care you lacked and all that but, again, he already had people who cared for him and it didn't help him.

Also a therapist is protected by the setting. They get paid for it, they set rules, they see you once or twice a week, it's very different from a normal relationship. Being a 24/7 mother/therapist for a loved one gets exhausting very quickly and I don't think Nahida deserves to be subjected to that.

Getting a friend who both accepts him and holds him accountable for his actions though? That could work.

Healing can happen outside of a therapy setting too.

#also it's not like we can fit them into any specific family dynamic in general #they are branches of the same tree your honour #they can do whatever the hell they want #scaramouche #nahida

[harlowhockeystick]

would love a blurb based off of my boy only breaks his favorite toys & guilty as sin for nico hischier!

"he was my best friend" & "without ever touching his skin, how can i be guilty as sin?" | poetic prompts | warnings:

it had been ages since you'd last seen nico. the past three summers that he's come back to his homeland to see family, you were always the opposite direction. it wasn't a bad thing, though. you had left things with nico rocky and unresolved, and before it could get better he left the country for the nhl and wouldn't come back for another ten months. but now, this summer, he's coming back and you're in town. for once, you'd be in the same neighborhood as him. and now you can't avoid how messy you left things, and how awkward it's going to be.

"how do you feel?" your friend asked, knowing that nico was coming into town this week. she knew- hell, your whole friend group knew what it was like. the tension, animosity, but also all of the fun you had together. "do you think you'll talk about it?"

you sighed, "i don't know. he was my best friend, and he got scared when i told him i loved him." sitting next to your friend in the coffee shop you began to talk about things from the past, bringing up old memories and old drama from your friend group over four years ago.

you'd been in contact with him of course, keeping up with him across the sea, the occasional late night/early morning phone call to catch up. texting him when he was in the news, congratulating him on wins. it was nice to stay in contact with him, but you still had an underlying sense of anxiety and tension with nico, that you hadn't figured out how to move around yet.

"but, i'll admit to you, i've been thinking about him a lot." you drift off in the middle of the sentence, as you begin to think about how much you thought of nico on a daily basis. it didn't occur to you until now just how much you thought of nico. you thought of hugging him again, or even just touching him in general. seeing his eyes in person again, smelling his cologne, hearing his voice.

"you're so guilty, y/n! you're down bad for a guy you haven't seen in so long. make that make sense." your friend teases.

i just landed. i really want to see and talk with you, can we grab dinner? sent 5:50 pm

speak of the devil. you take a second to respond, before finishing your conversation with your friend. secretly, you hope he felt the same way you did. not riddled with anxiety of course, but you hoped he wanted to make things right with you. get on the same page, start over together.

"without ever touching him, how can i be guilty as sin though?" you share a laugh with your friend and finish the conversation.

i'd love that. need a ride from the airport? sent 5:56 pm

definitely. see you in a few ❤️ sent 5:58 pm

#j's writing #nico hischier #nico hischier imagine #nico hischier x reader #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #hockey imagine #hockey x reader #this sucks i still haven't figured out how to write for nico yet

[gabessquishytum]

tw stepfamily fantasy, age difference. Human AU.

I promise this is Dreamling, stay with me lol

When Time dies, Night is eager to find herself a strapping young husband. Enter Hob, who has heard that the widow Endless is filthy rich. Don't get him wrong, Night IS a beautiful woman, but it's the money he's after. He charms her easily enough, and in less than 6 months they're married and living together in her huge mansion... it's only then that Hob gets to know her kids.

He knew she had 7 of them, of course, but, well, this is a lot. The eldest two seem well-adjusted enough, sort of, but they're early 20's and out of the house already? The youngest boy ran away from home and no one bothered to look for him. Del and Despair aren't getting any mental health care they seem to badly need. And then there's Desire and Dream.

Desire is beautiful and charming and smart as a whip, but they change sexual partners more often than most people do underwear and they're only 16. They love their twin but are awful to their other siblings and downright cruel to Dream.

And Dream... he's a piece of work, yes. But he's pretty. Just as pretty as his sibling, if not more. He's got a bratty cruelty that echoes Desire's but could still be corrected by a firm hand... He mocks Hob mercilessly for his humble origins and because Hob married for money, and to Dream's heartless mother of all people! He's so closed off to affection, shouts at Hob even while bursting into tears when Hob tells him Hob could at least be a friend to him, since 34 is a bit young to be a father figure to a teen. But oh, Hob can tell: this boy is so, so lonely. Dream wishes someone would take him, even if only for money...

Desire, of course, immediately figures out that Hob isn't actually in love with Night and promply tries to seduce him. Hob gently rejects them, of course, but they try again. And again. And again. And... well. And it's hard. It's really hard to resist them. They're really really beautiful, of course, and they're so good at this... but Hob's one braincell that's still getting blood knows better than to fuck a 16-year-old with that huge a cruel streak. That's just asking for trouble. And besides, Hob likes a challenge. Desire is just... too easy.

Dream, however... what a little temptation he is. He's so reserved. He tries to focus on his art. He tries to pay Hob little mind, but can't help to listen and smile at Hob's tales. He's gotten his heart broken more times than anyone should have any right to at his age, and is just as depressed as Despair and only marginally better at hiding it... Now, that's a challenge. And such an easy target at the same time. Seducing him would be so fun! Hob can just imagine how outraged Dream would be at first... but Hob can be convincing, and Dream so badly needs someone to want him. And Hob is so horny, with Desire touching him all day, whispering filth in his ear, trying to sext him and send him nudes. You see, Night has a pretty low libido, too low if you ask Hob, and Hob's hand is a poor substitute for sex with another person.

Hob doesn't want Night to divorce him, of course, so he's wary of looking for sex outside the house, afraid to get caught if he's out too long with no explanation (he doesn't need to work now after all) and he wouldn't stoop so low as to take advantage of the house staff...

Isn't it so convenient that Dream just turned 18?

-PA

(reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated)

Oh fuck oh FUCK this is hot. AND HEY PA ANON I MISSED YOU <333

Hob feels like he's living inside a powder keg, honestly. He thought that marrying for money and living a life of luxury would be wonderful, but now he even longs for a job that would just get him out of the house. He's trapped in horny hell and he's sure that he's going to do something terrible and/or stupid. As a last ditch attempt, he sweetly suggests to Night that the two of them could take a little vacation - just the two of them, to the gorgeous little tropical vacation spot that the family owns. Death and Destiny can watch over the kids, and Night can have a well deserved break!

Alas, she just smiles and kisses Hob’s cheek. Unfortunately she's far too busy for a holiday right now. But she encourages Hob to go and soak up the sun - he's starting to look pale and stressed, and she can't have her toyboy husband looking under the weather. Her one request is that Hob should take Dream with him. She's noticed that Dream and Desire's fights have been getting more and more serious recently, and she's tired of the screaming matches. Some time apart will be beneficial for the siblings. And it will make Night's life a lot quieter.

Hob can't backtrack now, so he agrees. And he's even more glad to get away, because when Desire finds out that Dream has been sent off on holiday with Hob, they throw an absolute fit. Naked. In Hob’s bedroom. Hob’s single braincell really needs to get out of there.

It's not like Dream is even pleased to be forcibly packed off on holiday with his "step-father". He spends the whole journey in snide silence, occasionally muttering under his breath about Hob being a total creep. (And he's right, because Hob is still shamefully horny about the beautiful 18 year old. He nearly embarrasses himself completely when Dream grabs his hand because they hit turbulence.)

But it's funny how you can hate someone and still want to fuck them. Older men were always Desire's territory, but Dream is starting to see the appeal. He's starting to think that his mother is a fool for letting Hob out of her sight. When he catches his first glimpse of Hob on the beach in his swimwear, Dream makes up his mind: he's going to be a bad person.

Hob fucks him for the first time on the beach-house balcony. There are stars above them, possibly - Dream doesn't really recall. He's sure that Hob recalls even less. He's desperate, primal, unhinged. He cums, and just keeps going until both of them are exhausted. Obviously somebody needs to take care of him properly, if this is how wound up he gets.

Well. The Endless family have always been fucked up. This is just another chapter in the story. Maybe Night will even be grateful to her son, for keeping her husband happy...

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw toxic relationship #cw dubcon #cw dubious consent #cw stepcest #cw age gap #tagged dubcon because of age issues only.

[brucewaynehater101]

Hemlo! Here are some sparkles and hearts for all the delicious posts and answers!! ✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️✨️💕❤️💖✨️ ✨️

I also have ✨️Questions✨️! In Tim being Bruce's Father Figure AU/headcanon, how do you think Tim's 16th birthday will play out? Will Bruce even plan it? And if he does, will this AU's Alfred go with it? How differently do you think Tim will go about tackling Bruce's lesson on paranoia? And how do you think he'll discipline Bruce after all is said and done? (I am sorry for the many questions 😅😅😅)

The sparkles are really cute. Also, don't know if it was on purpose, but urban dictionary says "hemlo" is how dog's pov says hi???

(Also, I love questions and asks so much. I sometimes take a bit to respond [cause I work nights, so my sleep schedule is whenever I can when I don't work], but I genuinely love all of them).

As far as Tim's 16th birthday, fuck. Alright. I guess this AU/hc can get some more angst. It's been too light and funny lately. Why not?

Okay.

~~~

Tim stares at the object that started it all. It's perched innocently on his desk, but the teen wants nothing more than to shatter it into dusty remains.

Bruce, his son that he willing took responsibility of, his son of three years, thought it was fit to cause Tim to have a mental breakdown. Bruce isn't aware of the true nature of their relationship. Bruce thought it was fit to cause rampant paranoia in a child.

Where had Tim gone wrong?

He thought Bruce was getting better.

Were the sticker charts, the car rides for sleep, the persistent checking for injuries, and the forced self care the wrong moves? Was Tim too harsh? Too soft? Where had Tim failed his son so that he thought this was an acceptable and appropriate set of actions? Why did Bruce do this to him?

He doesn't know.

And Alfred. He thought the two of them were on the same page when it came to parenting Bruce. Were the many discussions over tea, the late night baking, the aid around the house, and the chats during gardening for naught? They were supposed to rely on one another, inform the other when Bruce was going too far, and stop the man. Tim had so many fucking conversations with Alfred on permissive parenting and being a bystander. He thought they were in agreeance.

Not only did Alfred fall back to old and wrongful ways, but he was now an active participation in Bruce's emotional abuse and manipulation. Can Tim even trust Alfred to protect Bruce's kids from Bruce? Was Tim just special?

He doesn't know if it is worse for Alfred to target Tim specifically or for the older man to allow such actions against all of Bruce's children. Both thoughts are unbearable.

The man had the audacity to joke about Tim being of age after this clusterfuck, as if Tim hadn't been an adult in a child's body parenting an adult nearly three times his age. As if Tim hadn't aged a decade in the last three years. As if Tim hadn't done enough.

Gods, Tim is tired. He doesn't think reddit can help him out of this either.

Tim brushes a finger against the offending object as his face screws up in overwhelming grief, frustration, and betrayal. The smooth edges of the cube are cold, and his face feels hot.

He won't cry.

Bruce is a bastard, a man-child who criticized Tim for believing in time travel (as if they both hadn't seen it happen before).

It's infuriating and heartbreaking, but it's not the end. Tim can still fix this. He'll be more vigilant this time as he screws the errant pieces of Bruce's morality and judgment back together. He'll study more parenting books, attend more psychology online courses, and find a therapist he can ask parenting questions to anonymously. There's still more Tim can do.

He can still save his son from himself.

There's still time.

Tim pockets the reminder of his failures towards his son as he goes to Bruce.

He won't ask Bruce to apologize.

He can't.

It's Tim's fault, after all.

#dc comics #tim drake #dc universe #bruce wayne #tim is an unreliable narrator in this and it is not his fault #fuck bruce for that birthday incident #thank you for the ask!!!! #tim is a child-man parenting a man-child #dc au #tim acting like bruce's parent

[jimraisedmeup]

TICK // 7.1 - personal jesus

Rating: mature (angst, language, sexual content)

Word Count: 1400

☾

Reach out, touch faith

Your own personal Jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who cares

☾

New Year's Eve 1983 - junior year

…the room was dark. You couldn't tell where you were. A house? A bedroom. A soft blanket underneath you, headlights of a distant car flashing from behind the curtains on the windows.

Though the lights were off and you didn't recognize the room, you were certain of a strong sense of safety. A comfort in the unfamiliarity. Was that the sound of a guitar playing softly? Maybe… somewhere in another room. 

Suddenly, it wasn't car headlights illuminating the dim room anymore. Moonlight poured in through an open window, pale and lucid.

And a figure could be seen stepping towards you from the shadows. You still didn't feel fear. You felt bare and vulnerable, but anticipation took over your senses.

Blurry flashes of silver rings and the smell of cologne… like everything else around you, how you knew the scent was on the tip of your tongue. You knew that smell from somewhere. 

All of the things around you, the smell, the man, the sound of the music. Mysterious in your surreal subconscious. But it also felt like coming home, as natural as whispering the name of someone you loved.

"Hello?"

He stood in front of you, waiting. A hand reached up and touched your chin, silently asking for you to look up at him.

Gripping the blankets behind you, your gaze lifted towards the moonlight and was dazed by brown eyes, a shy smile.

Everything shifted, jolting you quickly. He wasn't standing in the beams of light anymore. No, he was on the bed with you. Underneath you. 

The feeling of his hips between your legs and his hands sliding over your thighs raised goosebumps on your arms.

"Wake up…"

Leaning down, you kissed the man with the wandering hands and shining silver rings. No question about it - in your dreamlike state, you knew this was the only thing you wanted. An instinct.

You grasped for his belt buckle, still kissing him feverishly, lifting his shirt to access his jeans... 

"Hey! Wake the fuck up!"

The transition from a deep, sensual sleep to the embarrassing reality of your bedroom dropped onto you like a bucket of cold water. 

Sun poured in through the windows, much like the moonlight in your dream. And, of course, there was no man in your bed. Only the lovely Robin Buckley standing in your doorway, tapping it obnoxiously and looking at you expectantly.

"Hmm?" you mumbled, dragging the blanket over your head, still not quite awake.

"You looked like an actual corpse lying there. I had to make sure you didn't, like, die in your sleep or something."

You rubbed your sleepy eyes. "I might have just been in heaven."

"What?" Robin asked, nose wrinkling. She shook her head. "You know what? Nevermind. I don't think I want to know."

You sat up and squinted at the girl leaning on your door frame. "So why exactly did you wake me up? Besides to check my pulse?"

"You can't let go of your famous cranky morning attitude for one day? It's New Year's Eve, dingus!"

Oh, fuck. "I totally forgot what day it was. What are the plans, again?"

With the stealth of a ninja, Robin shut the bedroom door behind her so your parents couldn't eavesdrop.

"I thought we had a deal!" she whispered. "You've got plans with Nancy and Carol, right? I need you to tell mom that I'll be with you all night."

Yawning, you finally scrambled out of bed and over to your dresser. In your sock drawer, stuffed inside a rolled up pair of socks, was a crumpled bit of paper.

"Sure, no problem. But I'm not going with Nancy."

Robin snorted. "Should I even bother guessing who you're going to see tonight?"

Still cranky from waking up, you threw back your own prying question. 

"Should I even bother guessing who you're going to see tonight?" you snapped, but instantly regretted the tone of your voice when you saw a flash of hurt in Robin's blue eyes. 

"Look, Robbie, how about we make this easy? No matter where we both end up, let's tell them we were at Carol's with Nancy. Just meet me at our spot half past midnight, yeah?"

"Do you think this will actually work? We've never asked to go out on New Year's before." 

Robin looked apprehensive, but you didn't miss the spark of adrenaline on her face.

You gripped the paper in your fist tighter. "No idea, but eventually they're going to have to realize that we aren't their prisoners and we can be friends with anyone we want."

☾

Feeling unknown And you're all alone Flesh and bone By the telephone Lift up the receiver I'll make you a believer

☾

Eddie was almost out of his front door when he heard the phone ring, shrill and disarming. 

He stopped in his tracks for a moment, listening carefully to his father picking up the phone in the living room. A few seconds of silence, then some mumbling.

"Ed! It's for you!"

The call he had been waiting for. 

On the last day of school before winter break, the brown eyed boy meticulously scribbled his phone number on a piece of paper before stuffing it into your locker. After the passing of Christmas and almost a whole week, Eddie wasn't sure if you would ever call. Or if he had even put the paper in the right locker. 

After the day you had skipped school together, he had been a little discouraged by the wall you suddenly built between them. You were avoiding him in the hallways again. A wall was always up with you, though, and Eddie could easily tell how private of a person you were. 

But he truly thought you both made progress that day. Hot chocolate, driving his van around the old factory across town. Learning about each other and laughing at stupid shit. He figured those would be memories you could reminisce over, years down the line. 

Or was he just being a hopeless romantic? This was real life, not the fantasy of a brave knight fighting for the affection of a particularly sullen princess.

Plus, c'mon, he was Eddie Munson. A freak. But who exactly were you?

"Hurry up and grab it! I ain't got all day, kid. Jeopardy is on." 

Of course, his dad was already drinking and his patience was short, even on New Year's Eve of all days.

He ran quickly to the kitchen before his dad could hang up the call. Eddie almost dropped the phone in all of the commotion.

"Got it!" Making sure that asshole actually hung up the phone in the living room, Eddie Munson composed himself and spoke calmly into the receiver. "Hello, sunshine."

"How did you know it was me?"

Your deep voice, your golden honey voice. Sticky and sweet as it dripped onto his existence. 

"Oh, you didn't know? I have psychic powers. If I focus enough, I could probably even tell you what you're wearing right now."

Eddie's tiny effort worked, and the laugh he elicited from you was like music to his ears. 

"Joke's on you, Munson. I'm actually not wearing anything."

He could have choked on the room-temperature coffee he was sipping on. So much for composure.

"Perhaps my powers are failing me, then," he sighed dramatically. "Happy New Year's, by the way."

There was a pause on the other line. "Hmm, don't go saying that just yet. I was calling to maybe make plans with you tonight."

When the slightly stunned boy didn't answer right away, you continued.

"Unless you already have other plans? I know it's kind of late notice…"

"No, no," he replied quickly. "Well, I have some plans with Jeff and the guys, but not all night. I'm a little surprised to hear from you at all, to be honest."

"Yeah… I have… strict parents. They don't exactly approve of some of the people I hang out with."

Ah, Eddie thought to himself. Another piece of the confusing puzzle. 

He leaned over to peek around the corner into the living room. His father was focused on the TV, chugging beer and letting out an occasional wet cough.

"Sunshine, I know all about difficult parents."

"Maybe we could talk about it tonight? Or have I scared you off?" As usual, your blunt, cocky statements sent shivers down his spine.

"Freaks don't get scared, Buckley!" he chuckled, "I know a good place to watch the fireworks at midnight. Just let me know the time and place to pick you up."

☾

Your own personal Jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who cares Your own personal Jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who's there

☾

(song lyrics credit: "Personal Jesus" by Depeche Mode)

TAGLIST for this series if you would like to be notified when I post new chapters!

taglist: @siriuslysmoking @ishouldclean @emesis-nemisis

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddiemunson #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things #eddie munson slow burn #eddie x you #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x buckley!reader

[rokhal]

Resident Evil 7 Biohazard whatever is an amazing portrait of the impact of methamphetamine in the rural US. Everything from the textures to the design of the environment to the story itself.

I guess, as an American, I should be used to living in a media panopticon where everyone knows how we talk and what our houses look like, but the Baker estate is not like a movie set or an influencer's home. There's real clutter, the kind that accumulates when you haven't moved cross-country in over ten years and your kids have grown up: kennels for cats who've lived and died, tool boxes, riding mowers, plastic bags full of plastic bags, pool toys. The age of the house shows, not just in the dated wallpaper and cupboards, but in the glimpses we get through the crumbling walls of construction techniques that have been obsolete for eighty years. The pegboard as wallboard. The cludged-together, homeowner-grade repairs of railings and staircases. The immersion is total. This could be any rural home I've ever visited whose owners lost the battle against entropy.

Houses on cheap land can get big. Real big. The Bakers appear to have inherited a plantation house, but there's a lot more on the property. It's perfectly normal to build a mother-in-law apartment and park a trailer in your backyard when you've got the land. Code inspector? What code inspector? You don't need no stinkin' permits. You're not gonna sell, and if you do, the buyer can figure out what they want to do with your wobbly deck.

You own the house and you've got no neighbors to complain about their property values. If you've got money, you trick out your garage. Get a lift. Get a hoist. Fuck it, dig an oil pit. You can do it! That's your man shed. Build some racks out of hog panel and hang all your tools in some haphazard arrangement that makes sense only to you. You've got to be your own mechanic if you want to keep your vehicles running.

Then there's the Baker family themselves. They were nice. Normal. Probably voted for Trump, but so did everyone they know. Of course they'd take pity on a nice white woman and a little girl begging for shelter, they're not animals. Jack was ex-military and pushy; Marguerite was socialized to stand by him whether or not he treated her well; Lucas was an amoral genius who couldn't make it in the real world; Zoe was at least prepared to fly the nest but either she'd tried and had to retreat, or she hadn't quite gotten up the nerve.

By the time we meet them, Jack and Marguerite are caricatures of themselves. Violent, paranoid, impulsive, irrational, moody. They can barely even function. Marguerite's kitchen is swarming with cockroaches and flies, and Jack's outbursts destroy the furniture and walls of the home that he was once proud of. The areas where Jack and Marguerite live are heaped with garbage bags, dimly lit, and filthy.

Every time we meet Lucas, he's wired as hell. Lucas seems hyperfunctional, constructing his elaborate traps and escape rooms, except he can't make the details come together. He lines the walls of his areas with white plastic sheeting, but the mold creeps through the seams anyway. He doesn't bother to change the codes on his padlocks. He toys with Ethan and banks on Ethan being too dumb to shove a bomb through a conveniently placed hole in the wall.

Zoe can still be reasoned with, but we see her fears in her diary. We see the tinfoil taped over her window to block the light.

Lucas, Jack, and Marguerite exhibit behavioral changes consistent with early, chronic, and long-term methamphetamine abuse. Their house bears the same marks of frenetic remodeling, ambitious yet ill-conceived design choices, repetitive behaviors, and neglect that scar so many homes occupied by meth addicts.

Meth is like other drugs in that it rewires the brain to promote drug-seeking behavior, but it also over time causes the brain to atrophy. Signs resembling dementia or schizophrenia eventually occur, accompanied by cognitive decline, and much of this is permanent. It becomes harder for the user to fight back against their dependency (against Eveline) the longer they use the drug (the deeper Eveline's mold works into their bodies).

This is an American horror story, it's a familiar American horror story, and it's a love letter to our country from Japan that seems to me to say, "We're so sorry about what you're going through. Here, shoot some mold-monsters about it."

#re7 #resident evil 7 #meta #my meta #tw drugs

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

Can you do Alastor please 🥺

Yep!

Send me a character and I’ll list:

Favourite thing about them: The radio filter on his voice! I'm a sucker for characters with artificial voice filters like that. And his disdain for "frivolous television technology" is amusing.

I recently rewatched the first episode of Hazbin Hotel with my dad, and he liked Alastor's radio filter too. (Yes, my dad watched some of Hazbin Hotel. And he decided it was "a bit too out there" for him.)

Least favourite thing about them: His design, I think. Yes, the creepy smile that never leaves his face is a nice touch, but that bob? It does nothing for me.

Favourite line: It's a close tie between, "Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do! That's why you're in Hell!" and, "Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show! The proper medium to express oneself! But you insisted on this ... noisy picture box advertisement. So I had a little fun with it."

brOTP: I like his friendships with Mimzy and Rosie. The fact that he and Mimzy knew each other when they were alive is really interesting. And I can see how he and Rosie would bond over their shared fondness for cannibalism.

Plus, I just think it's funny that Alastor has been building this platonic girl gang around him. He's asexual, but also a chick magnet.

OTP: I don't really have one for Alastor. He's definitely ace, and he might be aro too, and I have yet to see a character that's made me go, "Ooh, I'd love to see what would happen if they were in a romantic relationship with Alastor."

But if I had to pick an OTP ... maybe RadioRose? Two cannibalistic Overlords causing chaos together? That would be pretty neat.

Actually, what about RadioStatic? The fact that the normally cool and collected Vox can be made to completely malfunction because of Alastor has piqued my interest. Maybe they were dating years ago, and then something went wrong. Or maybe they had a business partnership, and Vox wanted it to become something more, and Alastor just wasn't feeling it. Yes, Vox has Valentino now, but maybe there's a part of him that still pines for Alastor - which would be ironic, considering that Alastor has little to no interest in him.

nOTP: Charlastor. I prefer them having a "twisted mentor and innocent mentee" relationship, rather than a romantic one. Given that Alastor has positioned himself as a father figure to Charlie (albeit just to annoy Lucifer), it would be weird to think of them dating.

Random headcanon: Alastor has zero artistic ability. He once tried to paint portraits of the Hazbin Hotel staff and residents as part of an art therapy exercise, but they all look cursed. Or like cats. Or like cursed cats.

Unpopular opinion: Sorry, Alastor stans, I can't get on the hype train with this guy. Not yet, anyway.

I like characters that have a mixture of the known and the mysterious - that is, you know enough about them from the canon material that there are traits you can identify and latch onto, but there are also some things left up to interpretation for you to muse over.

Right now, Alastor's just a bit too mysterious for me. Is he going to be an ally? Is he going to be an enemy? I can't decide whether I like him because I don't know enough about him.

By contrast, I already know lots about Angel Dust, and I like what I've seen so far. And there are still things I don't know about him, such as how he met Valentino, that I can speculate on, which I find fun. That's why Angel is my blorbo and Alastor isn't.

Song I associate with them: "Love ka?" (a.k.a. "Rabuka") by Hiiragi Kirai and Ado. Particularly this Yokune Ruko cover. I see it as a RadioStatic song, because the lyrics are about sharks (Vox likes sharks, doesn't he?) and about bugs (which would fit with Vox glitching out).

The ending lyrics translate as, "These putrid 'love you,' 'love you,' 'love yous' have already fallen to the ground and died out. If you don't like what you found within your reach, maybe you should stop looking." That sounds like something Alastor would say to Vox.

Favourite picture of them:

#hazbin hotel #alastor #mimzy hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel mimzy #rosie hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel rosie #radiorose #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #radiostatic #valentino hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino #staticmoth #charlie morningstar #charlastor #lucifer morningstar #cursed cat alastor #angel dust #blorbo from my shows #yokune ruko

[golbooty]

Betty Grof rant essay 6 months late!! i'm still heartbroken here's 1000 words about it!

I still have so many Thoughts and Feelings about Betty's character that I made a whole separate sideblog more or less just to share them so if YOU are also afflicted with this brainrot then welcome

So after 2 rewatches of fionna and cake and having Simon and Betty infect my brain like a pair if ill-fated amoebas for the past six months I have a random burst of energy and. want to share why I feel so disappointed in the conclusion Betty's character arc.

I feel like most of the positive reviews of the casper & nova + cheers call them "bittersweet", but I honestly can't see anything sweet about the ending. Simon's obvious immense guilt/trauma/depression aside, they're really just going to leave Betty like that? She no longer has a corporeal form and is perma-fused with a malevolent cosmic deity forever. There's no bittersweet maybe-in-the-next-life or deadworld ending for Betty. There's no "I can't be with the love of my life but I get therapy and friends and ride into the sunset". She's just... gone, at least if we take the narrative at face value. We obviously don't really know exactly what being Golbetty is like for Betty, the only hint being choosegoose describing it as "languishing", which isn't positive. I've seen a few people retort that "maybe Betty likes being an all powerful chaos deity" which, maybe? But nothing Betty ever did implied that she would enjoy that or want that type of power. Her only wish was to cure Simon and be with him again.

I also can't be convinced that Betty would've chosen to fuse with Golb if she'd been of sound mind. Beyond the MMS-ness, it's difficult to imagine the depth of her guilt/horror realizing what she'd done to Simon by jumping through the time portal, essentially condemning him to 1000 years of thinking she'd abandoned him and died in a nuclear apocalypse at best, and at worst leaving Simon with the belief he somehow harmed/killed her without knowing it. For. A thousand years.

As if that's not enough guilt, the first thing Simon does after their reunion in AT is beg her to let him die instead of becoming Ice King again. And she refuses, because this is Betty we're talking about, and she just won't give up. She promises Simon she'll figure out a way to cure him without realizing that it will be nearly impossible and then drives herself mad trying. Just.. the immense guilt that Magic Betty must've felt knowing she stole Simon's one chance to escape the curse and pass on peacefully, and now he's trapped in his own mind waiting for her to free him and she just can't figure out how.

On top of that, you have Magic Betty summoning Golb as a last ditch effort which ENDS THE WORLD. Having Betty revert back to her sane(ish) self alongside Simon inside Golb and fully confront the consequences of Betty's actions was... narratively great but also cruel. Betty clearly understood she just triggered the apocalypse- "this world will end unless Golb is banished" and "I'm sorry for messing everything up" and absolutely feels like it's her responsibility to fix that. And I think the most heartbreaking part of that entire scene is Simon just... giving up. He's not upset with her for not letting him die or abandoning him or ending the world he just. Holds her and tries to comfort her That must've been... really something for Betty.

I know Simon/Ice King is touted as the big tragic character in Adventure Time, and while yeah, fair take, I really can't get over the immense tragedy that is Betty Grof's story. She's never allowed to be happy. We don't learn much about her background, but most of her character traits to me at least point to an unhappy childhood (extreme impulsivity, disregard for her own well-being, obsessive tendencies, self sacrificing). She falls deeply in love and accidentally loses her sense of self and purpose in it. Then her fiance, the love of her life, loses his mind and starts attacking her. Then she impulsively jumps 1000 years into the future because she sees him and she loves him so much and she can't stop herself, but he's gone in an instant and now and the world is completely unrecognizable and she has no one. Simon has been warped into a demented lunatic, and she knows he's still her there and it's her fault. Then she goes absolutely bonkers-crazy trying to fix everything and starts betraying people left and right, then nearly destroys the timeline (including herself!), then it culminates in her ending the world. (sidenote: I fucking love how powerful Magic Betty is. like she's a random human who maybe learns magic for a year or two and figures out how to both destroy an entire timeline and summon the most powerful being in existence? ?? fuck I love Betty.) Then she condemns herself to an infinity of suffering in order to keep Simon safe. Like fuck.

I love a good Christ figure/big sacrifice, but I don't find Betty's arc bittersweet or satisfying at all. She didn't want nor deserve her fate, she was forced into it and ultimately destroyed herself out of guilt and grief. It's just... bleak. Every small mistake Betty makes is punished beyond reason. She's burned up and torn up and twisted and it's ultimately because she loves someone too much and wants to save him. She's robbed of the chance for any real character growth or happiness.

Ultimately, I think the show did try to give her and Simon closure, but it went about it in such a bizarre, unconvincing way. They both felt so out of character in Casper & Nova and Cheers that it just seemed flat and unfulfilling. Any character development Betty underwent as Golbetty happened off screen, which is maybe why she seems so... not Betty, especially in Cheers. And I mean, "I have no regrets" my ass, after everything she (unintentionally) put Simon and herself through, that line feels almost cruel. Not to go all "he wouldn't say that" but... she wouldn't say that. On top of that, her final message to Simon seems to be "don't you dare sacrifice your mind and humanity for the sake of someone else" WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE DID? Also see paragraph 2: she's still fused with a malevolent chaos deity isolated in the cold vacuum of space.

I sort of understand not wanting to give Betty and Simon a happy ending together, although I still think done correctly it could've been a satisfying and good ending, even if Fionna and Cake seems to retconn a lot about their relationship that paints it rather unfavorably. More than anything, though, I wish they'd shown Betty an ounce of mercy. She's a phenomenal character, she's funny and smart and impulsive and stubborn and so good. Her character had so much potential for growth and fulfillment and happiness and she just ended up being a plot device for Simon's arc and I will Not forgive that. The ultimate message of her story is that suffering begets suffering and mistakes will be punished to the fullest possible extent. I know to some that feels "realistic" but this is adventure time and that's a harrowing fucking message to end on.

#grrr grr grrr biting hard #betty grof #fionna and cake #petrigrof #simon petrikov #doing this instead of upcdating my fic. sorry betty nation #I WANT TO spend more time on this but assignemnts sorry. i think that's most of my thoughts though

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Don't Go Blindly Into the Dark

Summary:

To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?

Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?

Content warnings for this chapter: weapons, ptsd references, implied violence

Tags: @justalunaticfangirl @lunarthecorvus

If anyone else would like to be tagged let me know :)

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55445686/chapters/140852350

Chapter 5 - Kaz

“It can’t be a coincidence,” 

Kaz mused over Nina’s words for a moment, the cogs in his mind turning slowly to put the pieces together. It definitely didn’t feel like a coincidence. But Kaz tended to follow a strict practice of believing nothing was a coincidence. He’d told Inej that once, and she’d nodded wisely.

“Fate has plans for us all,”

She’d been sitting on his windowsill, watching the rain running down the glass. She began to trace one with her fingertip, and he followed it with his eyes. Kaz frowned. He’d left the door open, because it was raining and he didn’t want her to open the window, but for some reason he was suddenly compelled to push it shut. Like there was something here that should be hidden, that he didn’t want to entertain the possibility of anyone else ever bearing witness to. He flexed his fingers and gripped his cane tighter, refusing to move.

“Suddenly, I believe in coincidences again,”

Inej looked at him for a moment, then back to the rain. 

But it seemed very unlikely that Nina landing a strange job on the Geldstraat right before this job started was a coincidence. Kaz didn’t know what it added up to yet, but he would figure it out.

“Well, anyway,” said Nina, “I spoke to Feliks, all good for the job. He’s not thrilled about it though,”

“Of course he’s not,” said Kaz.

“He said you’ll owe him for the lost income,”

That would be more concerning if Feliks didn’t already owe Kaz money. And anyway he wasn’t really paying attention to that; mind still whirring away trying to solve the puzzle of Nina’s job on the Geldstraat last night. Not a coincidence. No such thing as a coincidence. No such thing as fate either, but Kaz really shouldn’t be thinking about that right now.

“Did they want you to go routinely? At the Geldstraat?”

Nina bit her lip.

“He said it could be an ongoing offer, if I wanted it. But he also said he lost an indentured Healer recently, if he gets someone else I don’t see him forking out any extra cash for the pleasure of my company,”

“When you say lost…?”

Nina grimaced.

“Concerningly vague,”

Kaz wasn’t surprised. He nodded.

“Alright, I’ll look into it. If this ends up being an ongoing job for you it might be good for intel. Inej is at the Crow Club, tell her to get a bag together - I want you at the university tonight,”

“Tonight? Kaz, you said two days, I have clients-”

“They’ll wait,”

“Kaz-”

“Update Inej. I need to talk to the old man,”

Nina huffed a little, but she turned on her heel and went on her way. Kaz watched the empty doorway for a moment before he slowly stood up - his leg was wreaking havoc today, and he leant heavily against his cane to find his balance. He was going to be vulnerable without the Wraith for a time, and now she was vanishing slightly earlier than expected. He’d set up a communication line but it still felt dangerous not to have her close by, gathering secrets. 

“I’m not sure I’m following,” she’d admitted last night, when they were discussing the plan.

It was before word had come from Nina and she’d left to follow her to the Geldstraat. They sat in Kaz’s office at the Crow Club - the door was closed and the room had no window, but they needed privacy and there wasn’t much Kaz could do about that. He watched Inej, wondering if they would need to step outside, but she seemed fine perched cross-legged on a chair, posture perfect, hands planted on her knees. Kaz found himself studying the tiny movements in her fingers, the occasional movement of her boots against her knee as she shuffled her feet. He bought her the boots the night they came back to the Slat, because he was an idiot and he hadn’t brought anything with him for her to wear. She’d traipsed after him all the way from the very North of West Stave to the very South of East still dressed in those ridiculous purple silks, completely barefoot. It hadn’t helped the whispers amongst the Dregs about what he’d hired her for.

“What connection does any of this have?” she asked, beginning to drum her fingers against her knees.

“It’s about forming the connections,” he’d told her, “Just focus on getting close to the mark - or let Nina get close and follow suit. Then we can discuss what comes next,”

Kaz’s leg screamed at him all the way down the stairs, only quieting slightly when he began to cross the ground floor of the Slat towards Per Haskell’s office. The Slat was nothing special to look at - actually it was ugly as hell to look at, with its faded, faintly mossy eaves, the wonky boards at the front that made it look like it was leaning on the buildings either side of it for support, and the fact that it probably was leaning on them but the boards just accentuated it - but nothing had come as close to feeling like home to Kaz as the Slat did since he’d arrived in Ketterdam and his entire world was slowly pried from his weak little childish hands. That was what this city did; took everything from you. And this is what you did to survive it: demand something in return. Scrape and claw and bleed your way through the Labyrinth until you didn’t just defeat the monster at its centre, you became it. Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel. He wasn’t quite there yet, on the very top, but he would be. He would taste the monster’s flesh, and embrace the city as his own. The Labyrinth was meant to be a prison, but if you played your cards right you could own it. And Kaz never sat down to a card game he couldn’t win. 

“Enter,” came the gruff, muffled response from Per Haskell to Kaz’s sharp, single knock on the door.

It sounded like he’d already been drinking, and when the door was open the smell alone confirmed it. Kaz fought the urge to grimace, keeping his face a cool, flat mask as he closed the door behind him. There was a window in this room and for a strange, ridiculous moment Kaz almost moved to open it. He needed to get his head on straight - the Wraith wasn’t even here, and if she had been then she could open a damn window herself if she wanted to. 

“Kaz, my boy,”

Haskell gestured for him to take a seat, and Kaz’s leg was putting up such a protest that for once he took up the offer.

“Sir,” he said, nodding.

Haskell grunted. He was playing with one of his little ships in a bottle things again, and for a moment just let Kaz stew whilst he drove his focus into rearranging one of the tiny pieces. Kaz didn’t get the appeal of these little models but they were popular to display in merchant houses, to sit on desks or mantelpieces like the homeowner was waiting for your gaze to linger on it just a second too long so that he could tell you a long story about it and how it’s an exact replica of a ship he, in fact, owns himself. There were two half-constructed ones sitting on Haskell’s desk that he’d given up on over the last few months, and Kaz watched the man’s meaty, and slightly shaking, fingers fumble over the details of his newest one, feeling unsurprised that he’d never been successful at finishing any. After a minute had passed Haskell sighed and plunked the thing carelessly against the table, then picked up his glass and downed the last few drops before all but slamming it back down. Kaz flexed his fingers over the crow’s head of his cane, tightening his grip. 

“Brandy?” asked Haskell, as he began to pour himself another glass.

Kaz abstained.

“Alright,” the old man breathed, taking a sip before he continued: “What trouble are you here to tell me this time, then?”

What could Kaz tell him by way of trouble? That Jesper Fahey abandoned his security shift without telling anyone where he was, only for the Wraith to drag him back five hours later from a Dime Lions club? That Nina Zenik had been sent to the Geldstraat to complete a highly suspicious Tailoring job that might have had something to do with the job Kaz had been planning for so long? All he said was:

“I need Nina and Inej to start the job earlier than I thought,”

Haskell frowned.

“How long will they be gone?”

“I don’t know yet, but it’s all under control. You’ll get your twenty percent,”

Haskell’s jaw twitched. It always got on his nerves when Kaz didn’t tell him what a job was, but that wasn’t part of their agreement. And besides, Kaz didn’t want to spread the details of his plans to too many people - everything in Ketterdam leaked.

“You can’t just take my Heartrender and my best spider without telling me h-”

“They’re not yours,”

“Well they ain’t yours,” growled Haskell.

“That isn’t what I meant,”

He groaned loudly and performatively, shaking his head.

“Don’t go getting righteous on me now, boy. I want them back here within the month, at minimum,”

Kaz pursed his lips.

“I’ll try to arrange that,”

“You see that you do,”

“Yes, sir,”

Haskell snorted, but Kaz knew he lapped up every stupid politeness he gave him. He liked to think of himself as the patriarch of a large, criminally-inclined family, but everyone knew it was Kaz who did the real work. It was more of a formality for Kaz to ever tell him anything at all.

“The Black Tips are still edging away at Fifth Harbour; pushing their luck,” he said, watching Haskell run a ringer along the rim of his glass, “We should move quickly if we want to re-establish our dominance,”

Haskell waved a hand dismissively through the air,

“A mere dog yapping at our heels. Monitor the situation, if things are any worse in a few months time we can organise a parlay,”

The man really was an idiot. Kaz nodded.

“Yes, sir,”

By the time Kaz left the office, disgruntled and impatient, Nina was back at the Slat. 

“Where’s Inej?”

“Upstairs getting her stuff,” Nina said, nodding vaguely towards the stairs, “You really not going to tell us anything at all?”

Kaz sighed.

“When you get to the University, go straight to the office opposite the Boeksplein; it’s 24 hour, and they should be expecting you. You just arrived from Ravka - private journey, pepper it in because the tourist ferries don’t arrive this late - and there should be transfer papers waiting in your name. They might kick up a fuss about you being early, accommodation-wise, but-”

“But we’re two young rich girls from Ravka, it’s the middle of the night, we’re exhausted from travelling, and we’ve nowhere else to go,” Nina finished in a falsely distressed voice, winking at him, “I think I can manage that,”

“Good,” he handed her a thin stack of kruge, “That’s a month’s salary in advance, if it takes longer I’ll give you more but if it’s shorter I’ll need it back,”

She narrowed her eyes.

“This is your money? Not the Dregs’?”

He shrugged. He had to pay her somehow.

“Thank you, Kaz,”

“You won’t be any use to me if you run out of cash and starve,”

Nina sighed, tucking the notes into her pocket.

“Well thank you anyway,”

#don't go blindly into the dark #no beta read #six of crows #grishaverse #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #kanej #wesper fic #kanej fic #wesper #wylan hendriks #soc fanfiction #soc fandom #soc fic #six of crows fandom #six of crows fanfic #six of crows fic #six of crows duology #grishaverse fanfic #grishaverse fandom

[spade-riddles]

SR, I know we've talked about how the girls can't say they've actually been together all this time without people having a meltdown over it. We discussed what narrative they could use and I had some shower thoughts while listening to But Daddy I Love Him- they’re a bit scattered but I wanted to hear others' thoughts.

What if after the Jerklie split (🤞), they can say there were mutual feelings in the past but they never confessed to each other. When they started spending time together recently, the spark was still there and they decided to give it a try.

I was also thinking Taylor could say that she had to step away from the friendship because it hurt to see Karlie in a happy relationship (this could preserve K's bearding and explain why they quit spending time together). She could also say that some of her Kaylor songs were really a what-if that she wanted to play out with her storytelling and could also help seed for her fans that while she honestly tried to move on, she couldn't forget about Karlie who is the love of her life.

I think her fans would agree that Karlie didn't do anything unforgivable and they would change their tune to make Taylor happy.

Any other ideas our girls could use? I've enjoyed the lighthearted posts we've had lately. Sending you 🩵

I do not see them ever directly discussing the past unless it’s a tell-all many years down the road. People can figure it out if they want. She is telling them she was closeted in her songs. 2+2=4 to most people. This is also where we come in handy. We are telling their truth that they cannot. We have a bigger viewership than we realize. I know the number of followers on this blog took another jump after TTPD was released.

[mitskijamie]

Roy obviously knows that Jamie admires/respects/looks up to him but I like to think there's some part of him that wants Jamie to think he's like. Cool. On some level he's just a middle aged man who peaked in his 20s and craves validation from his cool gen Z coworker. I'm not like a regular coach I'm a Cool coach

#oc #(face straightens immediately) #i think roy was probably bullied at least some at the academy (because he was younger and also super talented) and sometimes with Jamie #who is so effortlessly cool and personable and just has this gravitational pull that will make any room he enters orbit around him #he feels like. idk. inadequate #even when roy was the coolest man in the country there was always this part of him that still felt like it was a joke #this inner autistic 13 year old who never fit in and could never figure out why #like his whole relationship with Keeley he can't believe such a beautiful woman would want to be with him because girls used to ask him out #as a joke or whatever. so he keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop because why would SHE like HIM. #and then when he finds out she's been talking about how clingy he is behind his back he's like I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. of course. #and it's the same thing with jamie. why would Jamie Tartt (Beautiful Young Successful Footballer Slash Sex Symbol). want to be with him. #he feels like a closeted outcast with a helpless crush on a beautiful popular classmate #is this insane. #roy kent #jamie tartt

[mxmollusca]

The Totally Normal for Rhys Darby Tumblr Association presents:

jfc i just want to a b s o r b him like an amoeba

#he's so handsome it causes me physical pain #it's been years and i still can't figure out if i want him or want to be him #my gender is darbycore #my sexuality is cringe #totally normal for rhys darby tumblr association #aotearoa i wanna fuck your dad