#it was so hot and stuffy and in the moment i didnt always like it but now i kinda want to go again sometime??????

[fitzrove]

Ngl I feel kinda cool 😌😂💀

#i was at a birthday party in a bar my classmates rented and a girl in my class who had specifically dressed in rave gear (w her friend whos #visiting) asked me and some other ppl to come to the club 🤣 #i was wearing machine washable clothes (because i have prev bad experiences from german bars w smoking inside...) which in my case means #band shirt leather skirt combat boots and black tights #(of course they were all black ajdkkdlflfl) #but like it was just normal casual clothes i wasnt planning to go anywhere with them except the bday party #we were in line for an hour and i was worried they wouldnt let me in because 1) bare face (never wear makeup) 2) random band in shirt #but they did hehehehehe i am so cool #and tbh i was telling my friends in line that i'd rather be rejected for my own clothes than accepted in fake ones #but yeah lit 😌😌😌 certified cool #i went to bed at 7 am i am feeling vaguely loopy and sick even tho i dont even drink 🤣 #it was so hot and stuffy and in the moment i didnt always like it but now i kinda want to go again sometime?????? #random

[dudadragneel]

Dear annon! Here it is! I'm sorry that it took so longo and for the lame ending.

Requests are open

hello💞 not sure if requests are open but may I propose a Jake x reader where he’s nauseous and feverish on tour and y/n takes good care of him 💖

Idols schedules were always frantic, comebacks, concerts, MCing, variety programs, interviews, and trips. And sometimes all of this could happen within a week.

Tours were also tiring, sometimes there could be 2-3 concerts back to back, and usually, they had very little time to rest before catching a plane to another country. And that meant different time zones, jet lags, and different kinds of food.

It's actually surprising how they manage to deal with all of that, but, do they really?

You and Jake started dating a while after their debut, and of course, you kept it secret, you were even surprised how the company allowed it, but if it was working, why question it? 

Your dates would usually happen at the company building or sometimes they arranged it so they could go to your house and you could go to the dorms. 

You loved to play games with them and they always welcomed you so warmingly. And of course, whenever you could, you'd go on a few trips with them. But you could not take all of their schedules so, sometimes, if the tour stopped by your home country, you usually stayed there. 

This time, they were mid-tour and they had gone from a really hot weathered country to a cold one. And that messed with Jake's immune system.

You went with them to rehearsal but you and the boys noticed how he grew quiet throughout the dances. And when they were done with the first half of the rehearsal, Jake just slumped down to the floor with a loud sound, alarming everyone.

- JAKE!

You and the members ran to his side, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and squeezed them reassuring him you were there.

- Hey, babe, what's wrong? 

- I dont...I dont know.... I felt lightheaded all of a sudden.

You noticed that he was sweaty and you felt that he was hot through the fabric of his hoodie but it was only when he touched your hand for comfort, that you felt how hot he was.

- Oh my god, Jake, you're burning up! 

- Jesus man, you're on fire! 

- I'll bring a cold towel

The leader said exiting the room.

- Babe, how are you feeling?

- Hot and suffocated...

- let's take off this hoodie for a bit, hm?

- Okay.

You took off his hoodie and the moment you touched his skin, he hissed in pain.

- Agh!

- What is it? What's wrong? 

- I dont know, it hurts. It feels like everything is on fire when touching my skin.

- Can someone give me a thermometer?

- here.

One of the staff handed you a thermometer and you placed it under Jake's armpit. Five minutes later you took it off and were shocked.

- 37,5°C! Jake, how long have you been feeling like this?

- Come on, it's not that high....

- Not the time to be cute. Answer me.

You were as serious as someone could be and he didnt like to see you like that because he knew it was his fault.

- Maybe, since morning? No. I think it was since yesterday, at the end of the day.

- Why didnt you tell us?

Jay asked, just as serious as you.

- I dont know. I thought it was just because of the cold weather. That once I slept, it would go away.

- And what exactly were you feeling yesterday? 

- My nose was runny and my head was hurting a little. But I thought it was just because of the plane ride... didnt know it would become like this.

- And how are you feeling right now?

- Cold, lightheaded, and tired.

- I'll ask the instructors for a break.

Jungwon said getting up to talk to the staff.

You and the boys propped Jake up to his feet and guided him out of the room. It was too hot and stuffy inside there and it was making him feel out of air.

Jay got a wet cloth and handed it to you so you could wipe off Jake's sweat.

- I know it's uncomfortable, but it will make you feel a little better.

- Thanks....

- Jay, can you buy me a sports drink? I'm a little thirsty.

- I'll be right back.

After a few minutes, Jay got back with the drink and followed by Jungwon.

- The staff said we need to pass the choreography one more time and then we can go back to the hotel. You dont have to participate though, you can just watch.

- Alright.

- How are you feeling right now?

- A little better, I guess.

- Then let's get back into the room. 

- I'll stay with him.

- Please.

You went back to the practice room with Jake and sat in a corner watching the others run the choreographies.

You noticed how focused he was and how from time to time he pressed his forehead and squeezed his eyes.

- Hey, you okay?

- Hm? Yeah... It's just my head, it's hurting a little bit. 

- I have some painkillers with me, do you want one?

- No, thanks. I dont think I can take them now...

- Why? Are you feeling something else?

- I dont know for sure...my stomach feels kind of weird?

- Weird, like nausea?

- I dont know how to explain... It feels like I'm full even if I didnt really eat that much.

- Okay. So slow down on the water, alright? Take small sips. Just for precaution.

- Alright, my love.

The practice felt like it would never end and eventually Jake was feeling too tired, his head was hurting, his face felt like it was lit on fire, his skin felt hot and damp at the same time, and his stomach felt weird. He just wanted to get out of that place, he wanted a shower and a bed, that's all.

Noticing this, you guided his head towards your shoulder and wrapped your arm around him, while your other hand massaged his.

- It'll be over soon babe. Then we can go back to our room.

- Thanks....

He felt safe and comfortable with you and he must've been more tired than he thought because he managed to doze off even with all of that noise.

After more 45 minutes, the never-ending practice finally ended. You woke him up and helped him to his feet. 

The fever must've gotten a bit higher because the movement made him dizzy. As soon as he was up, his vision blurred and he felt his head spinning before he knew he had leaned his weight on your body.

- Hey! Jake! 

- Oi! You okay?

Jay said grabbing one of Jake's arms while you supported him. The rest of the group made their way to you alerted by the situation.

- Jake-Hyung, are you okay? What happened?

- Sorry guys.... I just got really dizzy when I stood up....

- Babe, I think your fever went up a bit....

You said putting your hand on his forehead.

- Yeah....it feels like it....

- Come on, let's go back to the hotel.

- Can you walk? 

- Honestly? I dont think so.... my legs feel weak.... I'm afraid of fainting....

You could hear in his voice that Jake's condition worsened in the last minutes and that he was feeling more than tired, he was exhausted. 

- I'll give you a piggyback ride to the car, okay?

He was embarrassed to the core but he felt like every ounce of strength left his body, so he accepted your request.

Thankfully he wasnt that heavy so you could carry him on your back.

The ride back to the hotel went peacefully, he slept through the entire ride on your shoulder and you could feel how hot he was. 

Upon arriving to the hotel, the boys and the managers helped Jake to your room.

You helped him lay down on the bed.

- We'll have the medical team check him, okay?

- Alright. 

- Hey, babe, do you want to take a shower? You sweat too much today....

- I dont think I have any strength right now.... I just want to sleep for a while....

- Okay...Lets wait for the doctor, see if they'll give you any sort of medicine.

After a few minutes, the medical team came to check him and concluded that he had a cold, hence the fever and the diziness was being caused by it. They said that since his throat was in good condition, he could perform, after taking the medicine and eating.

- You can rest now, we'll come to get you guys for dinner later, okay?

- Okay. Thank you.

- Do you want to take the medicine now, my love?

- Yeah... hopefully it'll help me rest a little...

He took the medicine and within 15 minutes he was fast asleep, you laid down next him and pulled him closer to you. Jake wrapped his arms around you, and rested his head on your chest, your heartbeat helping him calm down.

You checked his temperature from time to time and felt relieved when you noticed it was coming down.

Jake slept for the rest of the day, until night, which you were grateful for, he really needed that.

Around 7PM, Jake woke up, and he felt better, thankfully, the best he felt all day.

- Good morning, sleepyhead!

- Y/n.... good mornin- wait, what?

- I'm just joking haha

- You startled me, babe. Was I out for too long?

- Well....basically for 5 hours or so. You slept like a ferret.

- I needed that, I feel much better now.

- Your fever went down a lot! Do you think you can take a shower now? We'll leave in a few minutes for dinner.

- Yeah! I'll be ready in no time.

He felt a lot better, so he thought it had just been the symptoms of a mild cold and that he would be 100% better by morning. But his evening was just starting.

Getting out of the shower he decided to put on a hoodie and some pants, it wasnt the most stylish outfit but you had to admit, he looked cute. He said that given what he felt that day, he just wanted to be comfortable. 

The group was going to have dinner at the hotel's restaurant, given Jake's condition earlier, they didnt want to risk going out of the hotel and something happening.

You two met with the rest of the group in the lobby area before heading to the reserved area of the restaurant.

- Hey Jake! How are you? 

- Better. I slept for some time. I feel much better now. And y/n said my fever went down, so that's good. 

- Great! You must be hungry.

- Starving!

- Your table is ready.

The food came and you had to admit, you'd never not be surprised by how much these boys ate. Sometimes you wondered if they ate anything at all during the day. 

Jake ate as if he had been starving all day, and for a while, you were very happy to see him eating like that. But that didnt last long.

30 minutes into the dinner, Jake's body started to feel funny again. There was a slight headache starting, he felt like his fever was coming back and his stomach was starting to act up. He decided to sit back on his chair, trying to get a little away from the food, but you noticed he had gone quiet.

- Hey, babe, is everything okay? You got quiet all of a sudden....

-Hm? Yeah, I'm fine, it's just my head started to hurt a little.

You grabbed his hand and noticed it was a little hotter than when you guys went down to the lobby.

- You're starting to feel hot. Maybe you fever is coming back?

- Maybe. But I'm okay.

- If you say so...Look! Your favorite food is here.

- Ah, yeah, I'm kind of full now...

- Really? But you like this so much! Just a bite, you deserve it after what happened earlier.

- Okay.

Jake started eating again, and for some time, his stomach actually accepted the food but then things took a turn for the worse. 

He had one more bite, and his stomach decided it was just too much. He immediately felt nauseous, he felt cold sweat on his neck, he put his spoon down and tried to keep up with the conversation going on.

But it only got worse, he felt his food coming up his throat and began swallowing convulsively, he held onto the fabric of his clothes with a tight grip, trying to focus on his breathing, but it wasnt working. He was going to be sick. 

- Guys...Excuse me... where's the bathroom?

- Hm? It's a bit in the back. Jake, is everything okay?

- No- I'm gonna be sick-

He gagged onto his hand and Heeseung was quick to get up from his chair and went to Jake's side.

- I'll take you there. Can you stand up?

- I dont- I feel lightheaded...my legs feel weak....

- Come on, I've got you.

Heeseung helped Jake up and held him close as the younger bent over. You wanted to go with them, but you were in a somewhat public space, meaning you couldnt enter the men's restroom.

- Y/n noona, was he like this before?

- No...He was feeling better. He took his medicine and slept. When he woke up he said he was feeling good and took a bath. 

- Maybe the food didnt sit well with him...

Heeseung got to the restroom just in time, as Jake couldnt hold it any longer. He bent over as a thick stream made it's way out, coming out of his nose as well. The sensation was horrible since he didnt drink anything during dinner, it was just solid chunks, which made him even more nauseous, as the texture left a horrible sensation in his mouth and throat. 

He had no time to breathe before another wave came out, hitting the edge of the toilet as well. 

Heeseung kept rubbing Jake's back, up and down and in circles, trying to give the younger a little comfort. 

After a few more rounds, Jake straightened his body, trying not to vomit anymore, but everything he felt that day had escalated to the maximum level.

Suddenly his fever spiked, his head pounded as if someone had landed a punch and he felt incredibly lightheaded.

The movement made him dizzy and he felt cold sweat from his neck all the way to his back. He was going to faint.

- Hyung....I feel like I'm gonna faint....

- Okay, it's okay. I've got you. Come here.

He was thankful that he knew English as Jake suddenly spoke in his native language. It happened whenever he got sick, as it was more comfortable for him. 

He put his arms underneath Jake's arms just in time as the boy lost consciousness, and he felt how hot the younger was. He carefully guided him down to the floor and used his hoodie as a temporary pillow, and he lift Jake's legs up to help the circulation back to his brain.

He soaked a towel with cold water and used it to wipe off the sweat in the boy's face. Slowly, the color came back and he started to breathe normally again.

A few seconds later Jake regained consciousness, but all the information coming back was too much, the lights, the smells, the noise, everything was too much. Before he even managed to get up, he felt vomit coming up his throat again, he barely had time to turn to his side before throwing up again. 

Heeseung helped him sit down and rubbed his back as he continued to vomit again.

- I'm sorry hyung-

- Dont worry about the mess okay? Let everything out. 

Jake's body was determined to get rid of everything as he continued to vomit, each wave hitting the ground with a sickening sound. 

- There you go. Do you think you're done? 

- yeah.... 

- Can you stand up? 

- No....I have no strength

- I'll help you up.

He put his arms underneath Jake's and slowly guided him up, and once he was standing, he made sure to support him and check if he felt dizzy again. He helped the boy to the sink to rinse his mouth, but standing up was killing him.

- Hyung- I dont feel good...I cant feel my legs...

- Here. I'll carry you back.

He helped Jake to his back and gave him a piggyback ride back to the restaurant.

Everyone was shocked with the situation.

He sat him down on a chair and you went straight to him and pulled his head close to your body and started rubbing his back reassuringly.

- Heeseung hyung, what happened??

- He threw up a lot and his fever spiked and he ended up fainting. 

- Oh my god.

- Hyung, isnt it best to take him to the hospital?

- I think it'd be better. We need to figure out what's going on with him. I'll take someone from the medical staff and y/n with us. I'll let you guys know as soon as we have an answer.

- Okay, hyung.

The manager took you to the hospital and after some tests, Jake was diagnosed with a bad stomach flu that was aggravated due to his immune system being weak. He spent 2 hours in the hospital taking IV fluids due to dehydration.

The doctor gave him a prescription for anti-emetics and a fever reducer before you were free to go.

Arriving at the hotel, the manager carried Jake back to your shared bedroom before leaving to tell the members about his condition.

- Hyung, how's Jake? What's wrong with him?

- He's got a bad case of stomach flu. The doctor said that his immune system is weak due to all the trips and everything and it aggravated the situation. They gave him a prescription for anti-emetics and fever reducer. He probably wont take part in tomorrow's performance.

- I understand. Well, we'll let him rest then. Y/n is with him right?

- Yes. The medical staff is with them as well, at least for now.

BEDROOM 

- He probably will continue to vomit, but try your best to keep him hydrated. If you notice that he's losing too much water, call us and we'll set another IV fluid for him. It might be an arduous night but we'll be available any time okay?

- Okay! Thank you so much.

After the medical staff left, you were left alone with your sick boyfriend.

- Jake, how are you feeling?

- Like I could pass out at any time....

- So a bath right now is the last thing we can do....

- Yeah...but I feel gross, I smell like vomit and I'm covered in sweat...

- I can wipe your sweat. I'll call one of the boys to support you while I do it, okay?

- That's embarrassing but okay.

He said, finally letting out a little laugh.

- Yeah, you'll have to deal with it, babe.

You said laughing back. 

Before calling one of the members, you checked his temperature.

- Jesus, babe, 38.5°C! No wonder you feel like fainting. 

- It feels awful....

- And the nausea?

- Gone for a while...

- Thank god.

You called Jay to help you give him a little bath.

- Yo, Jake, how are you feeling?

- Horrible, but at least the nausea is gone for now.

- That's good!

- Babe, let's take off that hoodie.

You said, coming back with a bowl and a wet towel.

- Jay, can you sit behind him? And support his back for me? While I wipe off his chest?

- Sure.

- Babe, this might feel bad because the water is a little cold.

He hissed in pain as the cold cloth touched his skin, his fever was so high, the smallest of touches made it feel like it was cutting his skin.

You whipped off the sweat from his chest then moved on to his back, and Jay helped you and him throughout the process. 

After a few minutes, you finished the process and gave him another hoodie, a lighter one this time. He needed to take his fever reducer so he had to eat something.

- Babe, do you think you can stomach at least some bread? Just so you can take your medicine?

- Maybe...I dont feel that nauseous anymore

- Good.

You ordered some bread for the sick boy, which the hotel staff was quick to deliver.

He ate it and thankfully his stomach accepted it and took his medicine.

- Babe, I'm tired...

- Do you want to watch some tv until you sleep?

- Yeah...

- Come here, my love.

You let him rest his head on your chest and cuddled him. You kept stroking his hair and within a few minutes he was fast asleep.

You turned off the main lights and let just a darker one on so you could read.

After 1 hour or so, the boy was still sleeping and you thought that he would finally be able to rest after such a tiring day. But that wasnt the case.

2 hours into the night, Jake started to feel funny again, his stomach started to twist and turn while he was sleeping. You noticed him shifting uncomfortably and woke him up.

- Babe, Jake, wake up. What's wrong? 

- Hm? My stomach....I dont feel good...

- Do you think you're gonna be sick?

- I dont know....

- Okay. Can you walk to the bathroom?

- No...I feel weak, I dont want risk passing out on you....

- Okay. Here.

He sat on the edge of the bed and you gave him the bucket that was near. You sat beside him and rubbed his back.

- Just let it out babe. Unfortunately, you'll only feel better if you let it out.

- I dont want to, my stomach hurts from all the movement.

- I know babe, but holding it in wont help.

He didnt want to throw up again but his body said otherwise. The nausea increased by the second and he started to spit thick saliva into the bucket, he gagged unproductively a few times before another wave of vomit poured out of his mouth hitting the bucket.

- There you go. You're doing good. I'm right here my love. 

You rubbed his back up and down as he emptied his stomach. You thanked the heavens that it had been enough time for the medicine to kick in so he wouldnt have to take it again.

The ordeal went on for a few minutes before he was left dry heaving. You cleaned his mouth and gave him some water to rinse it. 

Given the situation you decided to settle him in a sitting position on the bed, just in case.

- Lets try to take that anti-emetic? Think you can keep it down?

- I hope so...

He took the medicine, which his stomach thankfully accepted.

After a few more minutes he was asleep again, you took the opportunity to clean the bucket and take a shower. You sat beside him on the bed and kept rubbing his hand.

Unfortunately, it wasnt long before he got sick again and that's how your night went on, with Jake getting sick at least 5 more times.

The next day, he didnt take part in the concert, and he also couldnt go to enjoy it with you.

You two spend the day on the hotel room, but this time Jake only got sick two times and by night he was feeling better, the fever being the lasting symptom.

- Babe, next time you're not feeling well, you need to tell us, okay? So we can avoid the situation worsening like this.

- I'm sorry, love. I really thought it was just something from the plane ride. Will you forgive me?

He looked at you with the cutest puppy eyes you've ever seen in your life, and you couldnt help but squeeze his cheeks.

- I love you.

- I love you too, babe.

#emeto #sickfic #whump #enhypen emeto #enhypen sickfic #jake sickfic #jake emeto #kpop sickfic #kpop emeto

[basslinegrave]

should i buy a ticket to the local anime con tomorrow or nah... i will be close to the store where they got tickets..... rant->

cuz idk if i wanna go? i mean i do but hhhhh its always too much... like the shitty moments outweigh the fun ones, and its never a given there will be any good moments...but i have a cosplay idea, kinda in the making, i have no idea if i will be able to make it cause im having trouble with one part but it could be quite comfortable... more or less... id just wear some regular ahh clothes and a mask (which is always the best, i get to hide my face and be comfy at the same time!) but i also want some recognition and idk how many ppl will know this. i never know cause if i expect that nobody will know it, i get a ton of people chatting me up (like wwx) and if i expect people will know the character nobody even takes one photo (like tokoyami. i got one pic taken? two? was so weird, the other bnha cosplayers were giving me weird looks and didnt even say hi back 😶)

obvs the cosplays i put the most work into appeal to more people, like wukong which id love to wear again now (with slight alterations like making the tail just hang down instead of standing up cuz that was hell to fix every 2 minutes.. looked great while walking tho) but its 2 outcomes: everyone that asked me to wear it again wont give two fucks and nobody will care. or after the new netflix move comes out, people actually watch it and more will recognize wuk... also, some people dont go in march but go in september so i can meet new ppl?

i go for 2 days so the second is best to have something simpler (so i get to move around more freely and fit into places like artist alley and can play games etc..) aand im trying to make a mxes mask which would be cool to wear even though people are either scared of me or im just weird idk and when it comes to fnaf cosplays ppl only loved my sun cos but other fnaf cosplayers avoided me like the plague i dont know what did i do

that said id actually love to wear sun again too 🥴 but i need to find all pieces and see if i can make the top work... its too stuffy and hot so i didnt wear it last time but like, nobody cares. nobody cares aboit accuracy here

i dunno man its also the local fandoms somehow they feel like nobody is caught up on the last media except the few that know it too much. but if you bring out an oldie Nobody knows it

oh also friend wants to cosplay shadow i think but he didnt say if at this con or what ans if hes buying a full ticket or what but like if i were to cosplay sonic and he would just leave after 10 mins i would be just there like uhhhhh now what and i wanna cosplay him again now really... its just a good backup i guess :/

#before it sounds weird i love making cosplays for the craft and second i do love when it makes someone happy as it makes me happy too #so when i wear a cos thats someones fave character? and they get absolutely hog wild? i Live for that #thats the best feeling thats why i wanna cosplay something that many like and get some fun interactions out of it #and yes in the end i also like some praise; who doesnt #thoughts are being thunk #kinda lost my train of thought so im ending the rant lmfao

[fizzingwizzbies]

Wrote this little fanfic 2 years ago, need some reviews, let me know what you think.

Yoonmin

it was eight in the night and darkening outside. a shrill ring of doorbell woke up jimin from his reverie. he got up from the couch, thinking who it might be at his doorstep at this hour. as he reached the front door he peeked from the eyehole, confused as he saw yoongi waiting there impatiently. yoongi's eyes widened as the door swung open, revealing jimin. still contemplating on what to say he cleared his throat and set his face to his regular stoic expression. hesitantly jimin asked "hyung, what are you doing here at this time?". jimin observed as a flick of despair flashed on his face just for a second as he said, " are you not gonna ask me to come in?", with a dense tone. " yeah- no, no- come in, hyung" jimin uttered, embarrassed.

the awkwardness was hanging thick in the air as they walked in to the living room. "have you had dinner yet?" jimin asked, scratching his nape awkwardly. yoongi met his gaze and stopped for a moment as if he was thinking something deeply. "umm hyung?" called jimin with a little shrug. " huh?" yoongi said just as if he was just woken up, "what?". jimin chuckled a little at his peculiar behaviour "i asked if you have eaten yet?". " oh! no, i haven't" he replied casually. " i have some leftovers from my dinner, would you like to have it? it's the pasta that you really like." jimin muttered the last part in a hushed tone, looking questioningly at the elder. " yeah sure" he responded with a slight smile.

without saying another word jimin went in the direction of the kitchen, beckoning the other to follow him. he grabbed a container from his fridge and popped it in the microwave, setting the heat time. jimin was leaning on the kitchen counter thinking about something to break the silence with and yoongi was just glancing around nervously. " do you want some juice?" jimin said, just as to say something. "no, water is fine." yoongi replied, as a beep was heard going off in the kitchen. the younger grabbed a glass and filled it with water, later he grabbed a plate and took the hot food out to serve it. he placed both the utensils in front of yoongi who sat at one of the dinning chairs. he plopped down on the chair across him.

jimin just sat there nervously tugging at the hem of his sweater. " so how have you been, jiminie?" yoongi implored carefully. jimin jumped a little at the sudden question. not that the question is out of ordinary but the dynamics have changed greatly between them, so it almost seemed worried. jimin pursed his lips, not knowing what to say. he really didnt know how he was, he was just trying to contain his emotions since the day he blurted out his feelings for his hyung. he has been unsettled because everything has changed after that. he has been friends with yoongi since the middle school, they enjoyed each others' company, they lived in the same neighbourhood and everything they have been through together just brought them closer. he admired the elder since day one, as he was very heroic, saving him from the bullies and taking him home safely. if a person were to be home, for him, it definitely was his yoonie hyung.

jimin always wanted to be with him. he was always there for him, when yoongi's home situation was crashing he was there to comfort him, when his mom passed away jimin was there for him, no matter how hard the times got he was always there to make it bearable. he made yoongi realise how important his dreams were and encouraged him to go for it, every oppportunity he got. but what happened? what made yoongi so distant suddenly? jimin would never know. their meet-ups decreased and there frankness around each other just faded away.

on yoongi's birthday once, jimin was invited to have a dinner with him. he spent all day searching for the precious little kumamon stuffie that his hyung would love to have in his studio. finally the evening arrived, jimin was ready in his favourite cardigan waiting on the porch, as yoongi was going to pick him up. he was anticipating this for a while, at last he was getting to spend some time with his dear friend.

a familiar car drove down the lane and jimin hopped a little as he excitedly made his way to the front seat. he held on for yoongi to roll the glass down or to unlock the door. as the window rolled his thrill dribbled down, replaced with an expression of surprise on his face. there was girl sitting in the front seat, her hair so shiny and her skin so glowing. "hi, you must be jimin, i have heard so much about you. hop in!", she said with a vibrant smile as she introduced herself as yoongi's friend from work. disappointed, jimin sat in that backseat. he thought they were going to be alone tonight. he glanced at yoongi, their eyes met through the rear view mirror. yoongi glanced away in a split second, nervously. "hey, jiminie.", he said in low and soft voice, almost apologetically.

" hey, hyung. a very happy birthday to you." he said timidly. yoongi just smiled softly at him. the rest of that ride was filled with yoongi's friend talking and trying her best to involve jimin in the conversation. he finally arrived at the restaurant they reserved a table at and got into their seats. jimin seating across both of them. for jimin the dinner continued as awkwardly as it can go, his natural shy personality wasn't helping much. the conversation hovered over various topics including jimin and yoongi's friendship and the mishaps that happened in their teen days. jimin noticed how lovingly she was talking to yoongi. he realised that she really liked him, it stung his heart a little. the way she smiled at him, they were perfect together, he thought sighing lowly.

finally the night ended with bare minimum words exchanged between yoongi and jimin. jimin was sad but he tried not to show it. as he was being dropped off he asked yoongi to wait up a minute, so as to bring his gift from the house. jimin quickly ran to the house and came with a gift, holding it in his both arms. yoongi was leaning on the hood of his car, patiently waiting as he was told to. " here you go." jimin said as he handed him the present. yoongi gawked at the size, "you didn't have to , jimin" he said, gasping as he saw the stuffie." i know its very childish-" he was cut off by yoongi yelling " oh my god, i love it!". jimin was taken aback as he was suddenly pulled into a hug. " im glad you like it, hyung" he said embarrassingly, not hugging back properly. yoongi realised it and let go. he put the stuffie in the car and turned to jimin. " why were you so quite today?" he asked, concern lacing his voice. "umm" jimin muttered as he was fidgeting with the hem of his cardigan. " i shouldn't have brought her tonight" he sighed. " uhh- no, she is really sweet and i can see why you two get along really well." he took a pause" its just that im nervous around unfamiliar people" he whispered looking down. yoongi grabbed his hand," i know its not that, jiminie. whats that matter, huh?" he inquired.

"its nothing really" jimin lied. yoongi pulled his arm a little to make him look up at him " please?" he said with a worried face. jimin couldn't hold it in anymore, his pleading eyes made it difficult for him. "you have been distancing yourself lately and you just showed up with her today and you two bond so well and- and it just made me feel like an intruder. i-i thought that we could get together today and i would mend everything but the night was unexpectedly awkward for me and i just wanted it to end" he said altogether, sniffing a little. yoongi was shocked after hearing all this, would be an understatement. "i-i-uhh" he couldn't form words, he just stood there for a moment.

"i didn't know you were so hurt, jiminie. im so sorry." he apologised after a few moments. " how can you say that after practically ghosting me for months! how long have you known me? how could you not know?" jimin teared up a little. "know-know what?" he asked, he knew exactly what jimin was going to say and honestly he was dreading it. " that i'm in love with you!" he poured out his heart. yoongi was frozen, he knew it was coming but he still couldn't believe it. "i know you don't love me back, hyung but you didn't have to bring her and hurt me. do you know how painful it is to watch someone you love with someone else? it hurts so bad." his voice sounded so broken. yoongi hated himself at that moment, that he couldn't say anything, he let jimin go just like that, crying.

jimin got in the bed, he was astonished that he had these underlying feelings all along, he couldn't think of anything else, he just let his thoughts consume him.

"min? jimin?", yoongi called out, lightly shaking him. " are you alright?" he asked. "yeah i am" jimin replied composing himself. yoongi had finished his food and put the dishes in the sink already. "okay, good", he said, caressing jimin's head softly. jimin purred at his touched, his eyes widened and his cheeks flushed in embarrassment, he got up and coughed quickly to cover it up. yoongi chuckled softly at his antics. "do you have any alcohol here?", he questioned. jimin scrunched his brows together, thinking and lifted his pointer finger up when he remembered, "oh! i have that vodka you brought last time", he said as he walked up to the fridge to look for it. " you still got it? it was months ago." yoongi wondered."uhm yeah i dont really drink…so" he muttered as he pulled out the bottle and handed it to yoongi. he opened a cupboard and took out a couple of glasses. he wallked towards the living room and yoongi pattered behind.

they took a seat in front of the couch. jimin placed the glasses on the coffee table that was set opposite him. he crossed his legs and angled himself to rest his back on the bottom of the couch as yoongi poured the drinks for two of them. yoongi passed a glass to jimin as he took a seat beside him. the room was silent for a moment then yoongi rose his hand towards the latter and hesitantly said "cheers?". it was jimin's turn to laugh at the other's behaviour, he clinked his glass and mimicked "cheers!". their time went briskly as they chatted about random things like their mutual friends and work stuff. yoongi had started to open up increasingly as the alcohol affected him. jimin liked it, he was happy that they were mingling like the old times.

it was 5 past eleven, jimin was just staring at his drink, he took only a sip and still felt the burn in his throat. maybe drinking just wasn't his thing. he wasn't worried about work tomorrow as it was weekend, so he can stay up late. on the other hand yoongi had almost finished the bottle on his own. " jiminie~" he purred softly," do you want some?" he asked gesturing towards the bottle of vodka. "nope, i'm done" hearing this yoongi nodded understandingly as if he was sober. " and maybe you should stop too now. what do you say, hyung?", yoongi pouted slightly at this " b-but why?", he asked. jimin giggled quitely at his actions, he knew yoongi became really soft and childish when drunk. " because you're already drunk and you'll get a really bad hangover tomorrow if you dont stop now" he retorted. " why don't you wanna spend time with me, jiminie?", jimin was mildly shocked by the question, "i thought it was the other way around" he quitely replied."why would i want that? i love spending time with you". " but after that night you never contacted me, hyung", jimin said sadly. all the memories came rushing back to him. after finally deciding that he'd give himself some time to think and let his feelings settle down, but here he was again, sitting beside the love of his life, living the moment all over again when he saw that how he could never be the one. the one who yoongi would take on romantic dinners and would stare so lovingly at. if he only knew how wrong he was.

"jimin will you stop biting on your lip so hard?",yoongi said almost annoyed. in his daze jimin hadn't realised that he was chewing on his lip. now that it was pointed out he thought that he did this too often. he immediately let go of his lip and stared at the other. " you never told me why you are here today." jimin stated. yoongi was hesitating which didn't go unnoticed by jimin. "well…." yoongi stretched the word, jimin just kept his gaze still as he expected more. " she asked me out today."yoongi said flatly. jimin was clearly shocked after hearing this and very heartbroken. he gulped as a lump was forming in his throat, "and?' he croaked out. " i let her down. i told her i can't be with her." he answered honestly. there was a pregnant pause, jimin was overly confused. a little tear escaped his eye, turning his nose rosy. yoongi couldn't bear to see that face. "i cant be with her, jimin. i cant love her. i could never love her. because the only person i love is you." he cried out in desperation. "hyung" jimin said almost in a whisper, yoongi wouldn't even have heard it if he wasn't in such a close proximity. at this point, jimin was practically sobbing, not believing what he just heard, he pulled his knees to his chest and tucked his face in, covering it with his hands.

yoongi took a deep breath. he calmed himself and approached jimin after a moment. he moved a little towards him, supporting himself by his knees. " jiminie?" he called out softly but got no response. " jiminie, look at me." he said yet again so softly. when jimin looked up, he ever so tenderly took his face in his gentle hands. wiping a tear with his thumb, he uttered" i"m so sorry". he connected their foreheads together, " i'm so sorry , jiminie. i have loved you ever since middle school, i was too much of a coward to admit it. it past few months i was falling for you deeper and deeper, which i didn't think was possible. but i guess when it comes to you i just can't help myself. i can't run away from this anymore, minnie. everytime i see you i want to hold you and never let you go. i want to protect you from everything. i wish you spent my every waking second with you. you are so precious to me." he poured it call out. jimin was so touched hearing this, he couldn't hold back his tears. " i adore you, minnie, so so much." yoongi said slowly, their eyes still closed. jimin's heart was beating like crazy, he opened his eyes and parted their heads. at that moment, yoongi saw the entire galaxy in jimin's glistening eyes and heard the most loving words from his beautiful lips, " i adore you too, hyung."

he was a blushing mess as he said it, embarrassed he looked away, subconsciously biting on his lower lip. " if you don't stop biting on your lip now i swear i'm gonna bite it myself" jimin's eyes widened as yoongi said this.

he looked up and saw yoongi looking at his lips, this made him repeat the elder's actions. they inched closer, their lips attached in the most innocent kiss. the time seemed to freeze as if they were in a bubble. the moment was ecstatic, jimin knew that if he was in 'the princess diaries' his leg would sure have popped by this kiss. they broke the kiss after a moment and stared deep into each other's eyes. after a second, they burst out laughing and they continued to do so until jimin's sudden yawn interupted them. yoongi glanced at his watch, it was almost past midnight. " come on, jiminie. lets get you to bed, its late." yoongi said as he got jimin on his feet. they walked to his bedroom. jimin was being tucked in as he asked " can't you stay tonight, hyung?". yoongi was attacked by jimin's doe eyes, "eh, why not.", he muttered as he got into the bed too. jimin snuggled closer to him. yoongi smiled and gave him a peck on forehead as they drifted off to sleep.

#yoonmin #fanfic

[babymilkawa]

If you’re ok with it, can you do bakugo or todo comforting their s/o because all the stress and pressure on them is too much for them to handle? All the pressure for the standardized tests and projects and home is getting to me

aww ofc!! I totally feel u anon 😓

comforting stressed s/o headcanons with:

bakugou katsuki

gn!reader :)

“Y/n hurry up! And don’t forget ur pencil pouch this time”

he’s outside your dorm, waiting for you to pack your things and go to his so the two of you can study for the upcoming exams

you sighed as you did so

packing the numerous papers and files with your impatient boyfriend waiting while running on 4 hours of sleep? yea it wasn’t ideal, you were hoping you’d be able to get at least a drink after the session

“Tch, about time” he said, taking your book bag off your shoulders and swinging it on his empty one

u said nothing, instead focusing on trying to stay awake

so u looked down, watching you and your boyfriend’s feet walk in sync

after arriving at his dorm, you were barely sitting on his chair when bakugou dove right into the concepts and started explaining to you the key points

So tired, u couldn’t even tell him to start over or slow down, ur brain just felt foggy

and all of a sudden his room felt smaller and it’s like air wasn’t even flowing inside

didnt he always open his windows?

Or were u wearing too many layers?

by now, his voice was tuned out and so you just laid your head flat on his desk, eyes shut tight

it was quiet for a moment until you felt a tap on your shoulder

“oi..y/n what are you doing”

upon receiving no answer from you, bakugou started to shake your shoulders

“hey, didn’t you say this was your worst class?”

you shrugged him off, mumbling to “forget about it”

“tch what do you mean, get up I’m not done yet”

your body remained motionless and finally, bakugou was starting to worry

“what is it y/n? hm? Just tell me”

he scooted his chair closer to yours and started to rub your back gently

“I’m tired” you replied

oh.

“Do you want to..take a nap here?”

“No,” you said, lifting your head. “I just want some fresh air”

bakugou was on his feet in less than a second and grabbing two hoodies from his closet

he helped you put the hoodie on but you fussed, complaining that it was so hot and stuffy in here

“dumbass it’s freezing outside so just hurry up and we can get out of this room”

grabbing your hand, bakugou leads you outside and you were instantly hit with a cold gust of wind

it was cold, a huge contrast to your boyfriend’s dorm

but you instantly felt better, like u could breathe again

the fabric of his hoodie was so warm against your skin that you couldn’t help but snuggle against it and lean on your boyfriend’s side too

“feeling better?” he asked, eyes shooting forward

“yes, much”

“good, now hurry up and get cold so you can know why my room is so hot”

and he was right

after heading back, his room felt like a warm haven

bakugou had left to prepare your favorite drinks so you sat on his bed, cherishing the scent and warmth from his hoodie, waiting for him to come back

a/n: was gonna do todo too but baku’s was already p long

bnha masterlist

#bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki fluff #bakugou katsuki imagine #bakugou katsuki headcanons #bakugou katsuki hcs #bakugou katsuki scenarios #bakugou katsuki fic #bakugou katsuki x y/n #bakugou katsuki x you #bakugou katsuki #bakugou fluff #bakugou imagines #bakugou imagine #bakugou scenarios #bakugou headcanons #bakugou hcs #bakugou x gn!reader #bakugou x gender neutral reader #bakugou x fem!reader #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #bakugou bnha #mha bakugo x reader #mha bakugou #katsuki x reader #katsuki fluff #katsuki bakugou #mha x gn!reader

[maybe-its-micheal]

Ghostbur tapped his feet against the ground, creating a rhythmic sound that made him smile. His shoes made such a nice sound against the blackstone bricks, he thought. Wait... blackstone? Where was there blackstone?

He checked his surroundings. Oh! The nether hub! Why was he here again? He didn't remember. He walked over to the edge, thinking maybe if he saw whatever he was here for it would jog his memory, but all he saw was lots of lava.

He looked down. "You know, someone could fall down there. Maybe someone should build a fence," he said absent mindedly, before heading back through the portal. He had many books to read back home! And lots of people to speak with

-----

The nights seemed to last longer every time Tommy tried to sleep. He turned over in bed, knocking against the white wool that made up the sides of his tent. This sent rainwater cascading down from the thin material, soaking him.

"MMMMMM, FUCK!" Tommy yelled, sitting up. If he couldn't sleep before, he certainly wouldn't be able to now. He got up out of bed and stepped outside the tent. This, of course, only served to expose him to more rain, but he hardly cared. He needed some fresh air.

He marched across the beach down to logstedshire, but paused at the enterence. What was the point in going in? It was empty anyway- Wilbur was back in L'manburg, he had been for days. He turned around to walk in the other direction, mud splashing against his shoes.

As he walked he thought of Tubbo. He was so impossibly angry about his banishment, and he knew it was Tubbo who gave the order, but he couldn't bring himself to hate them. He would have loved to point his finger at Dream, or George, or anyone else for that matter, but what would be the point in that? It's not like he could fight back, he had nothing, and so he was left with only one man to blame it on- himself.

He moved a lock of soaked hair away from his eyes. Burning down George's house was probably the thing he regretted most in all his time here. He wished more than anything that he could go back and just not do it- but what's the point in wishing? He's already been exiled. He may as well put up with it.

The splash of his shoes against the wet ground slowed to a stop. He may as well... put up with it. He sniffed, and moved his hands upward to his face. May as well put up with it. He looked at them through the darkness, they were shaking, and covered in small bruises and scratches he'd collected while scavenging. Put up with it. Rain blurred his vision, and his hands became two unidentifiable blobs that faded into the rest of the dark. Put up with it. The rain was so cold- why did he come out here? Put up with it. He shook his head, sending droplets flying off of his hair in every direction. Put up with it. He was shivering. Put up with it. Put up with it. Put. Up. With. It.

His knees buckled and he fell to the ground with a pained yell. His tears mixed with the rain as he cried out every name he could think of. He wanted them back! He wanted L'manburg back! He just wanted to go back- why was he here? Why did he have to be away from everyone?

"QUCKITY!" He sobbed. "Wilbur! FUNDY! Please! PLEASE! TUBBO! TUBBO PLEASE!" But he knew none of them could hear him. They were a thousand blocks away, sleeping soundly. They were all together- happy, and at home. "Tubbo... Tubbo please..."

But what was the point in yelling for people who couldn't hear him anyway? He put his head in his hands as his crying got quieter and quieter- he tried to wipe his face dry, but his hands were just as wet. "Fuck this rain."

He got up, and trudged over to his nether portal. As soon as he stepped in the rain evaporated off of him; he was warm and dry, at least, but still not ready to go back to his tent. His bed was covered in rain anyway, so what would be the point of going back?

He chose a random direction and walked some more, not really caring where he ended up. He couldn't stop thinking... Tubbo really did choose appeasing Dream over him. He really did say the discs were meaningless. How many days had it been? It didn't matter, he still couldn't believe it anyway. He hardly believed he was out here alone... how could that happen?

He had a secret world in his heart. A world where Wilbur never died, and Techno never fought against L'manburg. A world where he had all of his discs, and he listened to them with Tubbo at the end of every day while they watched the sunset. Sometimes he retreated to that world when the real one became too harsh... but he always had to come back.

He was standing in the middle of the nether hub, right outside the portal to the community house. He noticed that he was still shivering, which was odd. The nether is so hot.

He swished his hand through the purple smoke of the portal. On the other side... was a world he was no longer a part of. His brother who betrayed him, and his brother who died. His best friend, who stabbed him in the back. His discs, in the hands of people he didn't trust, and his nation so far alienated from its original purpose that he could hardly call it L'manburg.

He moved his hand back out, purple dust swirling around his fingers for a few moments. He thought for the first time... maybe he didn't want to be a part of that world anyway. He retreated back to the world in his heart... that was the world that was his true home.

He closed his eyes as he walked out of the main portal room, and down the suspended blackstone bridge. He could see Tubbo... no longer in a stuffy suit acting all important, but in his ussual green button down. They were laughing. Tommy smiled, still walking, eyes still closed, and began to laugh as well.

Wilbur was there. He was alive, and sane. Phil and Techno were there too... and Quckity, and Fundy, and Niki, and everyone. And they were all laughing. Tommy's feet stumbled about over the path, landing sloppily against the blackstone, laughing so hard he almost lost his balance. He laughed, and laughed, and-

His eyes shot open. As his weight shifted from one foot to the other, he realized there was nothing beneath it. He tipped backwards, body falling towards the lava put hundred of blocks below. He gasped, and just as quickly as the realization that he wouldn't survive set in, and hand wrapped around his wrist, and he was pulled back onto the bridge.

Dream.

"Tommy! What are you doing? Its 4 am, and you just- are you ok? What are you laughing at?" His voice was higher than ussual, strained by panic.

Tommy caught his breath. "I didn't..." his eyes met Dream's. "Did I just..."

It was clear his mind was racing, and he had no idea what to say. Dream sighed. "You need to be more careful, this is the nether." He shut his eyes tight and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to recollect his thoughts. "Do you want me to walk you back home?"

Tommy looked up at him. Home.

For a moment- just a moment, less than a second- he thought he meant the home he'd imagined, but before he said yes it all came rushing back. He didnt mean home. He didnt mean L'manburg where everyone he cared about was- he meant the place he was exiled to. To the world he didn't want to live in.

His faced scrunched up with frustration as he faced the Green Man, hate burning in his eyes. He did want to go home. But he didn't have one anymore.

He looked at him- he symbolized every aspect of this world he hated. But then he closed his eyes, and he was back in his L'manburg. "Where did you go, Tommy?" His Wilbur asked him. "Let's all go back to the van- I'll play us a song!" He smiled again.

"Tommy?" Dream asked, but Tommy didn't hear. Tommy wasn't a part of his world anymore.

"There he is!" Tubbo called. "Hey big man! Come on, you're late!" He slowly picked up a foot, swinging it backwards ever so slowly. Dream didn't notice.

"I'm coming, Tubbo," Tommy whispered. "What?" Dream asked. "I'm coming home."

His foot was back, dangling over the lava again. He shifted his weight to it, and with a smile, he made his choice. He'd never have to leave his world again. He was finally home.

"TOMMY!" Dream shouted, lunging forward with arms outstretched. He missed, just barely, and the teen fell over the edge of the bridge, plummeting down, down, down... Dream wasted no time, biting into a god apple and throwing himself down after him, but as they both reached the bottom it was too late. He wasn't able to hold his body over the lava, and after a few minutes of struggling, there was nothing recognizable left- just blood that ran down both of Dream's arms and stained his white mask.

He couldn't breath- what had he just witnessed? How had he failed? Was it his fault? Guilt and nausea began to set in as he floated there- alone in the lava. A killer in a way he never could have imagined he would be. He felt sick.

-----

Ghostbur returned to the nether the next morning- netherwart! That's what he needed! He stepped through the portal, only to find Dream waiting on the other side.

"Hello Dream!" He greeted with a smile. "I'm here for some netherwart so I can make more potions!"

Dream didn't answer him, he must be busy. Ghostbur's eyes danced around the hub- what would be the best direction to go?

"Wilbur..." Dream choked out.

"Yes?" The ghost replied.

"Tommy is dead..."

"Who?" He asked in his high, scratchy voice. He ambled care free down the path, dragging his hand across the walls that lined the edges. "Oh! They've added barriers! How handy!" He exclaimed to himself

#suicide tw #tw suicide #its 5 am rn and i didnt proof read please cut me some slack <3 #mcyt #dreamwastaken #wilbur soot #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt fanfic #tommy innit #tommyinnit #dream smp #dreamsmp #dreamsmp fanfic #dream smp fanfic #dream smp fanfiction #dreamsmp fanfiction #mcty angst #angst #ghostbur

[fakeloveaskblog]

Greetings from the void, Remington Siest, I have been summoned in your stead—

Oh, it's you! We've already met! Right! Uh, Remus's nonbinary demon friend again, this time coming from the shadowy corners in your room that you never look to. My apologies for that little scare, it's my day job you see, and someone else did summon me to you; old habits die hard, yadda yadda. How have you been? How are you liking that Raccoon plushie I sent?

Now, as for what's been requested of me *sounds of paper shuffling* hmm, ok, yeah, that's easy! Remus adores you, can confirm! Both him and Janus love having you as a friend and while I cannot speak on Remus'd behalf on the matter I can say that Janus is absolutely smitten with you (on a romantic sense) beyond a shadow of a doubt! He doesn't and will never only want you for your body, or leave you if you were to reject any advances he may yet put forth, so you can rest easy on that issue!

Oh. *hears what Remy has to say to their summoner before the message sents* Oh my. *starts to panic* Seems things are worse than I thought. I have. No idea what to say that wouldn't make this any worse! Where's the person who cheers you up and sents you nice text messages when you need it?! Ah, guess if they're not here this falls to me until they do get here? Uh, darn the timer's running out, um.

Remy… you are amazing and a great person and your friends love you for you, and you alone, not just your body, you! (Remus is ace for crying out loud!) Other than the obvious… now, we don't have time to unpack all of that, but…! *quickly sents a link to a social media app on Remy's phone* So. *John Mulaney voice* Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks and I would totally kill that guy for you!

(U!Virgil, emotional abuse)

Remy: "Oh girl I am loving the raccoon! I sewed him a lil like hoodie so now he like reminds me even more of my boyf. I have-"

They forced in a sharp breathe through their teeth while their whole body trembled from pain. The plushie was pressed close to their chest as they laid in bed. All the blinds were rolled down because any and all light would bring them a migraine right now.

"I haven't like....been doing too hot...I...It's like....a lot right now"

They took a few moments to really listen to your message. (How good that all demon messages came with an automatic playback function)

"...Jan does seem so sweet...and Rem makes me feel all warm...maybe you’re right" They buried their face into the soft fur of the plushie "I want Jan to like hold me like all the time. He's so soft"

(A part of them still felt doubt. Sweet guys had left them before. They tried to press the doubt deep deep down until they couldn’t hear it anymore)

"I really hope Jan like texts me about hanging out soon. Like shopping or eating at some resturant or like going out walking or whatever. I just wanna like talk to him. He seems like tots a good listener right? Would be like good to vent to I guess...I kinda want to...I trust him. I think....I shouldn’t vent....I shouldn’t”

The door opened. The small amount of light coming in made them whimper and hide down under the blanket. Virgil came in. He hunched down by the bed.

“You feeling any better?” 

“Bitch look at me. I’m dying more than a 70′s fashion trend!! Oh woe me!”

He kissed them on the nose before taking out a pill from one of the medicine bottles on their bedside table. Remy immediately tensed up.

If they took that pill then eventually the bottle would be empty and Virgil would have to pay for another and they wouldn’t have any way to make it up to him because they were useless and couldn’t work and could barely even be used properly and he would probably tell them himself how horrible of a burden they were and they were probably supposed to refuse or he would get mad and-

“You need it” He had a soft look in his eyes.

“I’m fine babe!” They spat out in panic.

Virgil grabbed onto their jaw and forced their mouth open. The back of their head got pressed down into the mattress. It hurt. They knew he would just sigh back how Everything hurt to them if they said anything. They grabbed onto his wrist to try and force him away, they couldn’t. He wasn’t strong but they were very weak. 

He pressed the pill down into the back of their mouth. “Swallow” He kept their mouth open until they did as told. “Good. Was that really hard” He muttered sarcastically.

Their whole body was still so tense it ached “Please babe you just sounded like a laughably pathetic daddy dom”

Virgil fiddled with his hoodie strings like he always did when he got flustered “I Uh didnt’ mean to. Gross. Eh. Dinner’s almost ready by the way”

“Don’t burn the stove down” They teased.

“Shut up you smartass” 

“You wish”

“Idiot” He said jokingly before kissing them. He left to check so the stove hadn’t actually burned down.

Remy painstakingly turned to look at you. They pressed the plushie closer. The medicine started to make them drowzy. It did that sometimes.

“My boyfriend doesn’t suck...he’s sweet. so sweet” They mumbled out “Most days he’s so sweet. Like today. And on bad days he just like doesn’t lie. He just says the truth..he gets so anxious about me leaving him....isn’t that like kinda romantic...him being so desperate for me to not leave he just...he just says stuff...and yells...and.....and it’s sweet. He’s so sweet”

They kind of wished Virgil would always be either sweet or honest. It made them so stressed to never know how they had to act. At least their dad never made them stressed like that. He was always angry. That made it easy

Remy gripped onto the stuffie harder. They hated when their brain made connections between his boyfriend and-

“He loves me. He just like loves me so much. All that stuff that sounds bad it’s either ‘cause he’s trying to make me stay, like I would leave or someting, or- or ‘cause it’s true”

....But....But they’d thought the whole thing about how no one else would want them except for their body was true...but if Janus didn’t....then it wasn’t true....Remy couldn’t help but wonder if-

The door opened again. Virgil came in with 2 bowls of black bean soup. The silly wondering was quickly forced away from their thoughts. 

He sat down on the bed next to them and set the bowls onto the bed table they had for bedridden days. He gently put his hands on their back and neck to help them sit up. When they whimpered he kissed them.

“I’m not hungry” Remy muttered.

“Beanie you are”

They could eat on their own but they didn’t say no when he used the spoon to feed them. It made them feel pampered and it made him feel needed. Double win.

“Babe this tastes horrible. just saying as like a warning” They said after finishing half the bowl.

“Like you could do any better” He pressed a playful kiss to their forehead.

“Oh yeah definitely! I just put the ingredient in! And then the like water! and then it’s done! Easy!!”

“Woooow. Wish I’d thought of that”

They smiled “Yeah that’s why you’ve got dick for brain. Bitch”

He simply snapped his finger into their forehead in reply “Wanna watch a horror movie?”

Remy got bored by horror movies and Virgil easily got anxious by them even though he loved them so really he was if they wanted to make out and cuddle to avoid looking at the film.

“You akready know I want to”

They didn’t look which movie he picked. They’d already cuddled up to his side and pressed their head to his chest. He moved his arms around them so he could eat his soup while the movie started.

It was so nice. They could hear his heartbeat through his hoodie. He was so sweet. They were so horrible.

They didn’t deserve it. They didn’t deserve it. They didn’t deserve it.

#thanks for the ask!!! that must have taken you some time to write <3 #ask #remy sanders #unsympathetic virgil #sanders sides #obsessed with how your ask makes the implication that remy has a tumblr

[bdlhchn]

extracurricular; hrj

copyright © 2020, bdlhchn. all rights reserved.

genre: slight angst, fluff, tuition classmate!renjun, 1990s!renjun, student!renjun

w/c: 1445 words

synopsis: you’ve only seen him once, but you’re willing to not skip tuition just to see his pretty face.

---------

hating tuition was an understatement, you absolutely detested it. 

you didnt see a need to go for tuition, as you had the best grades you could ever achieve in your entire life. your mom thought otherwise, sending you to enrichment and tuition classes left and right ever since you were taught to read and write.

not to mention the stuffy and uncomfortable atmosphere that was always apparent in the tuition classroom, that never failed to bring a gag to your throat. the tutor droned on and on about topics you were already familiar with, even sidetracking to how he fell in love with his wife for the 30th time.

private tutors are expensive, you thought, that was probably why your mother sent you to a group tuition class. but this was too much, having a subpar tutor with top tier students? parents are really just wasting their money.

creaking plastic chairs and scratchy wooden tables really wasn’t worth the hefty $800 fee your mother had to bear every month per subject.

but maybe someone in your class was worth procrastinating for.

and that was none other than huang renjun, the chinese national that arrived and attended tuition for the same reason your mom sent you for; to be even better than now.

you and renjun arrived at the center around the same time, with the tutor gladly welcoming the both of you with open arms(because it contributes to his KPI). you soon go to realise that he really didnt care about any of the students in class, he really just needed the quick cash to fuel his wife’s obsession with hot pink iridescent birkins.

to be honest, renjun looked a little standoff-ish when you first saw him; jet black hair nicely crowned on the top of his head. round eyes, sharp nose and rosy lips, his features melded very well together, making him look effortlessly beautiful. he could easily make it as a teen actor, you mused, as he took a seat next to you, taking out his writing supplies and notes.

“im renjun,” the boy extends a hand towards you in perfect korean, “nice to meet you.”

“im y/n.” you shook his hand timidly, “nice to meet you, too.”

“i hope you don’t talk in class because i would like to concentrate,” renjun returns his attention to his notes, already scribbling the method to the equation on the blackboard.

you scoffed, did renjun not realise that he got scammed? the tutor that does nothing but rant about his everlasting love(that will soon evaporate the moment he’s retrenched)?

“concentrate,” you muttered to yourself, “sure, i wouldn’t want to be of any disturbance to you anyway. good luck trying to solve that equation, because he himself doesn’t know the method answer to it.”

renjun pauses momentarily, then looking at you, “then why are we here?”

“to raise his kpi,” you bit your lip, spinning your pencil, “if you haven’t noticed already. you’re kinda slow-witted for a star student, renjun.”

“i never said i was a star student,” renjun gritted his teeth, his pencil lead nearly snapping at the pressure he’s putting on the pencil. “you’re the one to say, y/n.”

“your method answer is correct,” you hummed, peeking at his notes, “and by the way, the question he just put out was in my examination paper last year. and i was the only one in the school that got it right.”

renjun stares at you incredulously, snatching your paper from your grasp, eyes not believing the big red 100 inked on your examination paper.

“suit yourself, renjun,” you sighed, taking out the gameboy from your bag, “you’re better off with a private tutor than this place.”

renjun slumped into the seat in defeat, arm going limp at how you just shot him and his hopes of rising up the ranks down just with a few simple sentences. no one has ever talked to him like that before, not even the valedictorian of his school.

turning back to the equation on the blackboard, renjun grumpily solves it without fail.

—

you never saw renjun in class the next lesson.

and the next.

and the following one.

you weren’t the type of person to poke your nose into others’ business, but there was just something about renjun that made you want to care. even though you have only met and conversed with him once.

you were worried that renjun was actually hurt by your words.

you tapped your pencil impatiently on your notebook, the eraser on the top of it rubbing off on the paper surface. students were strolling in one by one, but none of them was renjun. 

what was wrong with you? you seemed to lose total interest in the lesson when renjun isnt here, and that was the very first lesson. 

well, if you couldn’t listen, you might as well skip the class, right?

as the tutor began class, you discreetly packed your materials into your bag, pretending to pay attention to the usual droning of his monotonous voice.

“sir,” you feigned pain, “i think im not feeling too well, could you excuse me from this class?”

your tutor nodded absent-mindedly, “sure, hope you feel better soon, y/n. oh, also could you give a call to renjun? he hasn’t been in class for 3 weeks.”

you stared at your tutor quizzically, and he looked back with the same look, “what?”

“i don’t have his number, sir.”

“just get it from the front desk.” he waves you off hurriedly, “tell them i asked you to.”

you nodded and left the classroom, trudging to the front desk to get renjun’s number. the front desk employee gave you a slight teasing look, writing down renjun’s number on a piece of paper. you chose to ignore it, not letting it get to you.

walking out of the center, you had no idea where to go. you only planned the escape in your head, now what? you definitely did not foresee this part of your escapade that you would make it this far. 

walking past several drugstores, none of the makeup on display caught your fancy. you sighed, walking into the neighbouring comic bookstore and looking around. you have never actually been into the store, only walking past it on several occasions. you weren’t an avid comic fan either, but you have read some of the books before, to pass time. you took another quick scan around the store, a familiar face caught your eye.

renjun.

the said boy had his head immersed in a comic, backpack and homework long abandoned on the table, finding more interest and fun in the book in his hands. he occasionally broke into a small, inaudible laugh, then flipping to the next page. not wanting to disturb him, you quietly walked towards him, settling your things gently on the seat opposite him. renjun was so engrossed in the comic, not noticing your presence until he finished the comic.

“what the hell!” renjun exclaimed, earning some glares from the neighbouring tables, “what are you doing here?”

you eyed the stack of homework beside you, “to do work, duh.”

renjun could barely believe his ears, “aren’t you supposed to be at the center?”

“look,” you closed your textbook, staring at renjun dead in the eye, “why on earth would i listen to him ranting about how he nearly copped that pink croc birkin for the 10th time? i have much better things to do.”

renjun inched his face closer to yours, making your heart skip a beat, “doing homework at a comic bookstore, really? and how did you find me here?”

biting your lip, not knowing how to answer renjun with his face that close to you, you could count the individual eyelashes on his eyes, examining the curvature of his nosebridge to his lips—

“answer me.” renjun folded his arms, stare never leaving you.

“i was just n-next door,” you pushed his face with your pencil, earning a frown from him, “and i can’t concentrate without you in class.”

“you what?” the sides of renjun’s lips lifted, a look you really like, “can’t concentrate without me in class? do you have a crush on me or what?”

your breath hitched in your throat, no way you would have a crush on a boy you just met once. sounds too fairytale-esque even for you, a hopeless romantic who learns tips from romcom dramas.

“as if,” you scoffed, “you’re getting too delusional.”

renjun eyes you wistfully, smiling to himself. he knows exactly how you feel about him, and how he feels about you too. he shakes his head, taking out his worksheets to do. maybe not today, he thought, maybe next time.

#first #five #tags #dont #work #nct scenarios #nct dream scenarios #renjun scenarios #huang renjun #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct dream #nct 2020 #nct #series: deja vu

[shsldepressedlesbian]

HAHA LOOK BUT MAYBE 75 FOR THE PROMPTS THING I have headcanons about Nagito being a huge crier during sex--

75: "You know, you look real pretty when you cry."

komaeda is definitely a huge crier i agree lol.

but, as good as a prompt this is for them, i feel like i didnt do it justice 😔 a little more just plain pwp then i feel like i could have done. however, i think its ok for now, but expect a rewrite one day 🤔

-

It's so hot, so stuffy, and it's hard to think, Komaeda finds, clutching desperately into the sheets.

"Hinata-kun," he manages to wheeze in between all the other lewd noises he's making.

His only answer back is his partner's own deep breaths, and the grip on his hips tightening, accompanied with another sharp thrust that causes Komaeda to let out an almost strangled sound.

Ironically, this seems to get a chuckle out of Hinata, though it sounds more wheezy then a real one.

"Sorry, are you already overwhelmed?"

Before Komaeda could manage a response, he feels Hinata's chest push against his back, and the shift of movement has him feeling all of it, from the burning, wet feeling inside of him to how Hinata's cock throbs, moving painfully slow-

Hinata had moved to nibbling at Komaeda's neck, tracing over the already made marks, and somehow, that only gets him more sensitive.

"I can't," Komaeda shudders, his whole body practically trembling. He should be used to this, being fucked roughly, but the problem was that Hinata wasn't being rough, and every deep, drawn out, torturest thrust of pressure on his prostate, aiming to get as many noises out of him, sends him into a downward spiral. 

"I can't-"

A shushing noise in his ear has him whimpering out of pure frustration, instinctively pushing his hips back. He can tell it's meant to be comforting- but every nerve in his body has him wanting Hinata to hurry and finish the job already.

Only the feeling of a hand gripping his jawline to tip his head up has a part of his brain finally turn on.

"Ha, don't…!" His instincts have him thinking about how embarrassing it would be to have Hinata look at him in the face like this- he must look so gross, so repulsing, absolutely wrecked-

But Hinata doesn't seem to care about that, keeping a firm hold on the other's face and turning it towards him just enough for him to apply soft kisses and nips to Komaeda's cheek- the gentleness much more different compared to how sadistic he was treating him everywhere else.

"So good, Komaeda," He mutters, letting go of Komaeda's face and starting a more rhymetic pace, and while it's hardly enough for Komaeda, it's much better than the previous torturing one. "You feel so good."

The praise falls on mostly deaf ears, but the very tone of Hinata's voice is enough to get Komaeda to let out another wheezy moan.

He could say he's almost fine with this new pace, as it seems to quicken, and become more promising… which makes the sudden full halt too much to bear.

The noise that Komaeda makes is pathetic even to his own ears. But he doesn't ponder it. No, the sudden stop and now, feeling of emptiness as Hinata almost entirely pulls out despite Komaeda's own objections and trying to constrict around him, just when he thought they were getting somewhere good, is a whole other type of teasing.

"Hinat-"

He doesn't get to finish his sentence, however, when he's suddenly tossed onto his back almost effortlessly.

It's a relief when Hinata slams back in, so suddenly that Komaeda lets out another loud, primal noise, almost akin to a scream, his toes finding themselves curling into the bedsheets.

"Sorry," he vaguely hears Hinata apologize once again, though this one sounds more genuine then the first one.

With some of his brainpower being briefly returned as Hinata seems to take time to adjust enough to make Komaeda comfortable, the boy in question finds himself feeling rather exposed. Not something he usually cared or worried about, but with Hinata's previous praises, something inside once again tells him to at least attempt to cover up some dignity, mostly by covering his face as best as he can with his arms, avoiding eye contact with his partner.

Any plan for that, however, is ruined by Hinata himself parting his arms, giving him a clear view of how terrible Komaeda must look.

"I want to see your face." Hinata exclaims, voice firm though breathy.

Of course he did, Komaeda berates himself. Why else would he turn him over?

But the gentle undertones of his voice gives Komaeda enough security to look up at him- and feel a twinge of satisfaction at the fact Hinata, despite how calm and dominant he had been, didn't seem much better for fare either.

His own bangs stick to his forehead, speckled in sweat, his eyes almost cloudy and face flushed. If it weren't for him still feeling unsatisfied and knowing that he looks way worse just judging by the feeling of dried tears staining his cheeks, Komaeda would have chuckled at the sight of both of them looking like filthy messes.

But Hinata grins for him, once again making Komaeda feel exposed.

"You know, you look real pretty when you cry."

Komaeda feels his own face flushing up(if it was even possible for him to feel hotter), turning his head to once again avoid eye contact, finding himself once again unable to fire off a response. No, there's nothing attractive about his sobs, he's sure, and it's bad enough that he seems to almost always get like this when their fucking-

Hinata bucks his hips again, seemingly deciding to carry on, and Komaeda yelps. As though taking advantage of his guard falling, he felt his partner once take his face in hand, bringing their mouths together. And despite the teasing, Komaeda finds himself not hesitating at all to open his mouth and welcome his tongue in.

But attempting to focus on that proves difficult when Hinata immediately takes a new, brutal pace, and despite it being exactly what he wanted, the sudden change of tone and attack on his mouth has Komaeda’s brain going fuzzy, half registering a guttural groan he wasn’t even aware he himself could make.

And when they part in order to catch their breath, Komaeda can barely do even that, finding his legs being lifted off the bed as Hinata took him by his thighs, effectively finding a deeper consistency to pound into him.

Komaeda can’t tell if he even makes a noise when he opens his mouth, not being able to focus on anything but the sensation that is quickly bringing him closer and closer to his release, almost too fast-

When Hinata leans forward, Komaeda takes the chance to cling and dig his nails into his back, as though he were the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.

He hears Hinata grunt something, yet he can only make out the call of his name and a warning(to which he had to briefly wonder if he himself has already come without fully realising), but he merely keeps his hold.

He quickly finds the answer to whether or not he had already meant his climax answered, as his vision goes white and ears almost ring.

He almost believed that he passed out for a moment, because it feels like he's lost his sense of time, as he comes off his high. 

The first thing he brings his attention to, despite his exhaustion, is the little nitpicks.

From the weight of another body on him(Hinata doesn't seem in a much better state then he is, having fallen onto Komaeda in a half hearted embrace, his breathing equally as heavy), to the stickiness both across his chest and inside him that makes him want to squirm, if he didn't want to actually pass out more.

And soon, the embarrassment: to orgasm so hard from just that, when they've done so much more before… ah, pathetic. Perhaps he was getting too easy already. 

Well, it's stuff to muse over later- when he's less tired, perhaps.

Which is why he attempts to shut off his mind by closing his eyes and getting control of his breathing, but sure enough, Hinata, with his ever blessed energy, shuffles from being tangled on top of him(accidentally shifting a little too much pressure on Komaeda, to which he gives a soft "sorry" at his displeased noise), and stopping beside him just to lay down again, his breath still unsteady.

"Komaeda," Hinata breathes, though Komaeda chooses to turn his head away from him instead of responding. His partner seems to ignore this sign, however, continuing. "Sorry, did I…?"

It's probably better that Hinata chooses to not continue with that question, or Komaeda would have probably had to make a comment on how many times he's said "sorry" in the last 30 minutes.

"We should clean up," he instead insists, and Komaeda, despite not looking at him, feels him sitting up, and he instinctively grabs for his wrist.

"Let's just sleep, Hinata-kun," he mutters, quickly finding just how sore his throat is(along with his whole body), but still continuing. "We can bathe later."

He can almost feel Hinata furrow his brows at him, which is what gets him to roll his head again to actually look at him and confirm it. And, sure enough. 

"But you always complain about how gross you feel after," he objects, "I just want to make sure-"

Komaeda sighs, an almost rattly sound, turning over so he can bury some of his face in the pillow(an uncomfortable shift, but a necessary one). Hinata's right: he does feel gross, but unless he insisted on picking up Komaeda to take him to the bathroom, he'd rather just get some rest.

"I do, but Hinata-kun has been extra cruel today, and I couldn't get my body started if I wanted to." Not wanting to talk longer than necessary in order to rest his voice, he closes his eyes once again. "Take some responsibility."

Hinata makes a half strangled noise that would make Komaeda chuckle, had he not wanted to strain his throat. 

But, it seems he doesn't wish to argue anymore, as Komaeda listened to Hinata's sign and felt the shift of weight of him lying down again, brushing arms with the other.

The quietness is nice, Komaeda finds, but as he slightly shifts his legs, he bites his tongue in time to keep from groaning.

Everything, from himself to the sheets, will be absolutely gross, and he'd definitely need to take a shower right away.

But it was worth it. Or, at least, that's what he likes to tell his hazed self.

And when his eyes close with the feeling of a warm, comforting presence beside him, it's almost believable.

#pineapple writes #unsafe #confusement and betrayal: komahina #my apologies for this 😔🙏 i already have written better for the next planned prompts #so i definitely will come back to this and give it justice

[bellasharifuddin]

The Day I Became a Mother

It’s been a while since I last post anything here, typing feels awkward as well. But this has always been a thing that I wanted to do since the day I’ve given birth, to document and blog about my pregnancy and my birth journey, so in 4-5 years to come when my memories fade, I can always come back to reminisce every detail that I keep here, like a memory capsule. 

The Day I Found Out I Was Pregnant. 

You know, when people say that when you have a strong intuition about something, trust your gut feeling, because it’s often true. Mirin and I have always talked about having kids, me wanting a baby so much within months after we got married, however, Mirin having second thoughts about it. We were both married for less than a year, sleeping on a toto without a mattress or a bed, living in the deep slum of Wangsa Maju area where the rats are larger than the cats. Hahaha. Naturally, given our circumstances, he’d want to take things slow. 

Fast forward to a couple of months, we went out for some steaks and karaoke on a weekend night. I told mirin to stop by Watsons, for me to buy a pregnancy test kit. Mirin didn’t question much, because occasionally I would randomly buy one, just for fun. But this time, I didnt just get one. I ended up buying three. Why? Because somehow, I had a strong feeling this time. I just felt... weird. It was a feeling that I can’t put it into words. 

We came home at midnight, I went to the bathroom too “pee on the stick”. Then I saw the first line... a few seconds later comes the second one. Oh my god. Okay. I knew Mirin was standing outside the toilet door, waiting. Eventually, I had to break the news to him. When I showed to Mirin, we both ended up hugging and crying. Was I happy? Was I in shock? Was I sad? Yes, a little bit of everything. Its funny that all you’ve wanted was a baby, then when it actually happens, suddenly you’re freaked out. Happy that its a blessing. Sad that it hits you without a warning. 

                                                      Pregnant!

When the morning sickness finally kicked in, I knew we couldn’t live in the current house. Its not the best place to raise a child. And the next-door neighbor was having major renovation that was super loud and noisy. After sleepless nights and searching for a new place, we eventually moved out. Bought our first bed, bought our first dining table, bought our first gas stove. A many of firsts. Soon we finally bought a baby cot from Ikea. We bought it too early. Although it was too early to put it up, but Mirin assembled it anyways. I could tell that he was excited. It was such a fun and exciting moment, for the both of us.

But those were the fun part. Like most pregnancies, the not so fun part about being pregnant was me being diagnosed with Pregnancy Hypertension during my 36th week of pregnancy. My blood pressure spiked up to 140/100 on two consecutive readings, and the next thing I know, that I’m sitting in an ambulance, on my way to Hospital Kuala Lumpur’s emergency building. 

                     At Hospital Kuala Lumpur. Waiting for an available bed

                  Mirin bought me the entire family mart food available xD

I spent 3 nights in their maternity wards, finally discharged after the doctor told me that I was clear to go. While I was in the hospital, it pains me to see new mothers struggling during the COVID19 pandemic. Throughout your stay, no visitations were allowed from anyone including your husband. If your baby cries or if you’re in pain, you’d have figure it out yourself. I remember praying to god while crying that I do not want to be induced there. The ward was stuffy and hot. There were too many people crammed in a room. It was hell. 

The Day That I Give Birth

One week after my discharge, we both went for my monthly checkup with my OBGYN at Pantai. Again, my doctor advised me to be induced tomorrow, since my blood pressure spiked again, and I was almost full term (38 weeks) so it was okay to go. She told me that “It’s best to get the baby out or else you boleh kena sawan” OMG Okay okay. So we packed our bags, ate sushi for dinner, slept soundly for the very last time, and headed to the hospital again at 9 am the next morning. 

                         Induction day. We definitely overpacked haha

       Arrived at the hospital lobby, did a mandatory swab test before entering

Appointment card. Booked and paid for the accommodations prior to checking in

I was told to change into my labor robe (I’m not too sure what it’s called), and waited. When my doctor finally arrived, she then began to insert some sort of a plastic strip deeeeeep into my cervix. Ouch, that hurts. Okay, so that’s how induction works eh? Then I was given antibiotics into my IV drip too, since I was GBS (Group-B Strep) Positive as well. 

                                Toilet selfie! Calm before the storm

After an hour, I felt the contraction. Initially it was uncomfortable, then it hurts like hell. The contractions felt like period pain but like a million times worse. Occasionally, Doctor Haslinda would come and check on my “bukaan”. Hours passed. 1cm... 2cm... 3cm.... when I finally said:

“Omg sakit sangat dah tak tahan, I want an epidural!“

Ok no, that was a lie. I initially didn’t want to take an epidural. I wanted to try and bear with the pain, but Mirin convinced me to take it, so after tossing and turning like a dying fish I finally said okay. 

The anesthesiologist came after what felt like an eternity, and asked me to sign a consent form. I’m not really sure what was written in that. Siapa je ada masa nak baca terms and conditions panjang panjang bila tengah contractions??? 

He told me to sit on the edge of the bed, while hugging a pillow. I remembered him injecting some numbing spray, then I felt the BIG NEEDLE poking through my spine. Then.. that was it. It was so fast. The entire process took only 5 mins. Was it painful as I thought it would be? No. Was it still scary tho? Yep hahaha.

Soon after, Dr Haslinda pecahkan air ketuban when I was 4cm dilated. It didnt hurt because I was on epidural, but I felt so much warm liquid flowing out non-stop. So bizarre. 

Once you’re on epidural, you’re basically bed-ridden. No bathroom trips anymore, my legs feel like jelly. Sometimes the nurse will come to empty my bladder with a catheter. When the epidural kicked in, I could finally sleep. I slept like a baby. I slept for hours. Painless. No more feeling like a dying fish. And so I thought.............

3am. I woke up with INTENSE CONTRACTION PAIN. Why is it so painful? I thought I’m on epidural? I called the nurse straight away. Turned out the epidural drug ran out. It was sooo stressful because the nurse that was on duty that night didn’t know how to topap balik the epidural drug into the machine. She called her colleague, then the colleague also tak tahu. Then both of them spent like forever to troubleshoot how to use the machine, sampai lastly kena call doctor tanya. YA ALLAH, rasa macam nak maki je. 

7am the next day. Bukaan baru 7-8cm. Doctor decided to use another form of induction to speed up the process. It’s called pitocin, and injected through my IV drip. Within MINUTES, I could feel very intense and painful contractions, that the epidural can’t even help. So throughout the remaining 7cm to 10cm, I felt every inch of real labor pain. I clenched Mirin’s hand. So tightly that I think it got bruised. A minute felt like an hour, and an hour felt like years. It was soo bad that my memory was so fuzzy. 

Finally, it was 10cm. Time to go. They put both of my legs up, macam gambar bawah ni haha: 

                                      Picture courtesy from Google

There were two nurses, one small cute Malay nurse, one pregnant Indian nurse, and my OBGYN, Dr Haslinda. I love them all, they were so supportive and nice to me throughout my labor process. My doctor taught me how to push correctly:

“Take a deeeeeeep breath then tahan, clench your fists, chin down and teran macam nak berak sekuat-kuat hati“

I was so determined to get the baby out. I just wanted the contraction pain to end. I did everything they told me to do. I hold on to Mirin’s hand, and PUSHHHHHHHEDDDDDD! I could hear Mirin saying “You’re doing great sayang!” After several pushes, and some sips of water breaks, the baby’s head is almost out. The head was the hardest to push. Besar! I literally felt like my down there was stretching to its limit. Once the head is out, I did another small push, and the rest of the baby’s body macam keluar instantly macam super slimy like that haha. 

Finally the baby is out! 8.26AM! The contractions stopped immediately. I instantly feel like I wasn’t pregnant anymore. The doctor then injected something on my thigh, then my uri just popped right out haha. My body felt so tired, but so so light. Lega, yay no longer pregnant haha. I ended up having second degree perineal tear without an episiotomy, and was stitched. I felt the benang, ngilu. I felt the needle pierced through my muscles too. But it didnt hurt so it wasn’t too bad. 

The baby gets cleaned up. Then soon all of the nurses left the labor room, it was just me, Mirin and our baby. Mirin picked her up, and azankan. Mirin started crying, I cried too. It was magical :’)

We did skin to skin and tried breastfeeding for the first time. As I look at her, hair was so thick. Her cute little fingers. Her beautiful face. She’s perfect. 

                            I slept for 5 hours straight after the labor

Thinking back, I have no idea how I managed to muster such courage to go through all these. Mirin even told me that during the active labor stage, when I was pushing, at one point I pushed so hard that my entire face turned blue. Talk about adrenaline.

Do I want to have another baby? Well, lets keep a rain check on that question for another few more years to come xD

[edsbev]

Ok now we have how they both realized their feelings mayyyybeeeee how they told eachother?????????

it takes a little while. theyre a little bit older. have both come to terms with the fact that they might just have to pine forever. 

and its richie who finally cracks. bc of course it is. hes been pining for longer. he has trouble keeping his mouth shut. honestly its a miracle he managed to keep his feelings a secret for this long. 

its a saturday night and theyre sitting in an empty parking lot in richies truck, eating fast food. and a lot of things have happened recently. 

one - eddie has taken up baseball at school, and his skin has bronzed from how much time he spends out in the sun training. his thighs are toned and his arms have filled out. and its become ridiculously hard not to stare. 

two - bev and ben have started dating. and being around their in-love, coupley gooeyness has only made richie want eddie even more. he’ll watch bev and ben cuddle on the couch during their movie nights, kiss each other hello and goodbye when theyre hanging out, and his brain will immediately go to: what if that was me and eddie. 

and three - the combination of those two things have made being around eddie so hard that richie has been actively avoiding him. he barely turns up to the losers hang outs anymore, he cancelled the last two catch-ups he and eddie had planned. and, while they can, thankfully, just chalk it up to them being older, being busier, richie knows that eddie has started to notice, and he doesnt want eddie to think that hes avoiding him bc he hates him. 

so richie has come to conclusion that he needs to tell him. the truth. 

“this shit is so disgusting,” eddie says, shovelling fries into his mouth. the whole trucks smells of them. hot, stuffy, salty. “i can already feel the grease clogging up my fucking arteries.” 

“yet you keep eating them,” richie says. he adds, “idiot” because he knows he’s being soft. he knows he’s looking at eddie with that stupid, dopey smile he gets whenever eddie is being cute. 

its just. eddie is cute. his hair curling around his ears, shovelling fries into his mouth with a sort of pinched, irritated look on his face, like the fries have personally insulted him. hes so fucking cute and there’s been a hundred other moments just like this. where richie will watch him, and his heart will swell up like a balloon, and he’ll almost say it. eddie, i like you. i like you so fucking much, eddie. i want to kiss you so badly. 

so he’s gonna do it right now. just get it out there. it doesnt matter if eddie doesnt feel the same way, he just needs him to know. 

richie wipes his palms on his jeans, taps his fingers against the steering wheel, breathes in, out. shaky. nervous. and then he finally says, “eddie.” 

“mmm?” eddie mumbles, poking through their takeout bag. 

“i…” god, richie wants to throw up. he swallows. “i just thought that i should…explain. why i’ve been so weird lately.” 

eddie glances up from the bag, quirks an eyebrow at him. “you’re always weird,” he says. 

“yeah, youre right,” richie laughs, a breathy, nervous laugh. “i mean why i’ve been weirder than usual recently.” 

and eddie seems to realise what richies talking abt, seems to pick up on richies anxious energy, bc he shrinks a little into the seat. 

“i just…dont want you to think that i havent been around recently bc ive been avoiding you,” richie starts. and it just kinda all tumbles out of him, messy. “well, actually, i have been avoiding you. but it hasnt been for, like, a bad reason. like i dont hate you or whatever. i, um.” he works his thumb against the steering wheel, clears his throat, glances hesitantly at eddie. “i like you.”

eddie doesnt say anything. he looks very small against the seat. 

“as in…i like like you,” richie continues, bc now he cant shut up. “like how bev and ben like each other - ugh, whatever you get it, im being stupid. but it just…makes it hard to be around you sometimes.” 

the still, quiet expression on eddies face is impossible to read. richie is so antsy he swears he’s going to explode. 

“so. yeah. i just thought i’d tell you. i’m really not trying to make things weird or anything. and you don’t have to say anything back. i just didnt want you to think that i hate you, or whatever.” 

eddie still doesnt say anything. a car pulls up a few spaces away, turns half the parking lot gold with its headlights before it shuts off, plunging it back to black. richie drums his fingers skittishly against the steering wheel. 

“ok i need you to say something, eddie,” richie says finally, after what feels like a decade, “i’m going crazy over here.” 

eddie blinks, and even in the shadowy-dark, richie swears he can see eddies face go red. “i…dont know what to say.” 

richie feels like he’s going to be sick. “just, uh, that you dont hate me and still wanna be a my friend would be nice,” he says, tries to play that off as a joke. 

“i dont hate you,” eddie says. and at least that sounds sincere. 

“well, thats a relief,” richie says. it looks like eddie is about to say more, but he doesnt. a crease forming in his brow, lips pursed and pushed up toward his cheek, as though he’s contemplating something.

“ok. uh. lets just talk abt something else then, eh?” richie says, awkward. “pass me some of those fries.” 

but eddie doesnt. the little crease in his brow just deepens. and then eddie is shoving away the fastfood and kneeling up on the truck’s bench seat.

richie startles, watches with wide eyes as eddie shuffles closer to him. places one hand on richies shoulder, reaches over with the other to cup richies jaw and turn his head to face him. looking very determined. 

“i…” richies whole face is burning, his throat tight. “what are you doing?” 

“im going to kiss you,” eddie says, very matter of fact. 

richie tries to say something, but all that comes out is a broken, strangled sound. 

“is that okay?” eddie asks. 

“uh yes. yep. fucking. yes.” eddies face is so close. his lips are so close. slightly parted, look so plump and soft and kissable. its a surprise richie manages to have a single coherent thought, but he gets out: “im just very confused.” 

“i like you too, okay? i just didnt know how to say it.” eddie’s voice threatens to speed up in that way it does when he’s nervous. but he breathes in, swallows it down. and says, much gentler, “so i… thought i’d show you.” and as he says that, his cheeks go red and his gaze drops to richies own mouth, and richie just about passes out. 

“okay,” richie breathes. okokokokokokokokok

eddie hesitates. they are paused, staring at each other’s lips. then eddie lifts his hands from richies shoulder to cup richies face with both hands.

and he swoops in and kisses him. 

but eddie pulls away quickly, like he’s still a little unsure, anxious eyes flitting between richies. but richie just says, dazed, “kiss me again” and eddie cant say no to that. so he does.

its a kiss thats soft for all of five seconds. theyve both wanted this so badly for so long. richie wraps his arms around eddies waist, eddie wraps his arms around richies shoulders. richie deepens the kiss, pushing up against eddie so much that eddie begins to lean backwards. eddie lets him, bringing richie even closer. 

when they pull away for air, they leave only a breath between their mouths. lips brushing as their chests heave. eddie looks down at richie with lowered eyelids and it drives richie crazy. 

“you like me,” richie breathes. 

he can feel eddies smile against his own his mouth. “you like me,” eddie says. 

“a whole fucking lot, yeah,” richie says, and then dives in to kiss him again.

they make out for ages in richies truck. and they’ll talk abt all that feeling stuff later. how long they’ve liked each other, when it started, what this means for them, where they stand now. and they do. but right now literally all they care abt is richies hands on eddies ass, and eddies hands in richies hair. 

#Anonymous #reddie #reddie headcanon #ask #mine #my writing #this be dumb

[gemini--emerald]

this is me tagging @hermit-crafting, i havent edited this either, but i might later

also, @chaotichelix i avenged your death >:Dc

TW: light gore(arm gets ripped off), blood

Their heart beat quickly in their chest, they were up at least two stories in a Jungle tree currently waiting for Helix to get the flower. They’d learned they’re patrol schedule enough to know were Helix would be and even made sure to put their name on the Tag.

The heat of the strange red Jungle was even more unbearable than the normal Jungle so they’d opted to take off their jacket and put it in front of them on the branch they were sitting on. However, that didn't help the stuffiness of the air, and the heat seemingly coming from the Crimson wood. How did those crazy nHo-ers deal with this?

Chattering from below them ripped them from their thoughts and saw Helix, Bon, and the new guy in a teal shirt and jeans surrounding the Tag flower. They quickly laid down on the log to not be spotted, letting out a small cry as the torturous heat from the log hit their cheek. They didnt think it couldve been that loud but opening up their eyes they didnt even realize they had closed, they saw the new guys bright orange eyes on them. ‘Welp, time to scarper, even if it wasnt in the original plan.’

Forgetting their jacket on the hot branch, they’ll get it later, they used the otherworldly vines to stumble their way down the tree. Once both feet were on the ground they fucking sprinted it, if anyone asked, they werent scared of that new guy, ‘oh but what a lie that is’ they thought to themself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Soon they reached a clearing, and while most of the crimson has already overtaken this part of the Jungle, it was nice… until they heard the beating of wings. Shit.

They frantically looked around and a pit dropped in their stomach when they saw a large, winged shadow cross the clearing. They didnt remember seeing wings on the orange eyed guy but maybe they could transform or become possessed like Sage? If that was the case they were screwed, because the nHo were already bloodthirsty normally and if they got possessed… well it wont be good for them, they knew that.

Looking around the clearing again, straining their ears to hear anything actually backfired on them. Instead of the complete silence always talked about in books they heard many noises, from the new raspy chirp of the poor Crimson parrots to the new, larger, ocelots sprinting through the undergrowth with growls echoing through the Jungle. Turning around they swore they saw a pointed gray tail disappear behind a tree, seconds later, a figure, clouded in shadows jumped from one tree to the other and stayed there. They couldnt see he’s eyes but they knew he was staring them down. It sent shivers down their spine; their legs locked themselves in place so they couldn't run away.

They watched him run up the trees faster than any normal human could, then again the horns, wings, and tail probably meant they were a transformed demon of some sort. ‘That didnt help anything’.

Moments later they heard a shrill cackle echo through the Jungle, what the fuck is with this guy, if he’s trying to scare me it sure as hell is working. The cackle died down into a much deeper chuckle and then stopped. They heard leather wings flapping again and turned around; well, tried to. Jungle vines had crawled up their legs and were still climbing. ‘So thats why I can't move’. They started struggling and moving their legs the best they could to get them off but before theyd gotten very far the guy came into view.

They watched him come into view on their left side and their heart stopped. He was so much more terrifying up close.

He was over 6 feet tall and his left eye was completely black, from what they could see, and his right eye had what looked like a crown of wither roses covering it. They could see his black wings tucked neatly onto his back and what little sun poked through the branches reflected on his curved horns that went out away from his head and made them gleam. This isnt what was supposed to happen at all.

He continued walking until he was right in front of them and stopped. He had sharp canine teeth and behind those, where teeth that came out and curved, kind of like a piglins except farther back in the mouth.

He looked at them straight in the eye and grinned, then said something in a language they didnt know. His grin faltered and turned into a look of disappointment, then quickly went straight back into a grin.

Lil, felt more vines reaching their arms and pulled them closer to their body. The moment they did that they felt a strong grip on their right arm and then a sharp, blinding pain, almost like their arm got ripped off, and they screamed. Looking over at their arm it turns out, it was ripped off, tears streaked down their face.

Looking back to where the guy used to be the only thing they saw was their dismembered arm with a Tag around it and then they passed out…

#tw gore #tw blood #my writing #do you nHo tag #hermitblr tag 3 #tag 3: come and get me

[wheresmaldo865]

ShinsoXReader Valentine Day Special Featuring Song Dead Girl walking from the Heathers

 Happy Valentines day! I got this idea in my head and decided to type this up. I originally wanted to do it for Bokugo but wanted to extend my characters palette... since my inbox is always empty :(

But any way, full steam ahead! I didn’t really get the chance to do detailed editing so please forgive me if theres any errors. Also the song is a little out of order so that some things make more sense.

Also, someone please tell me how to properly spell this kids name. I seen it boths ways with and without a u 😭

There a little doodle of Shinsou at the end 😉

Warning: Vanilla smut (Nothing detailed)

Word Count: 1752

‘The Demon queen of high school has decreed it, she says Monday, 8am I will be deleted. They’ll hunt me down in study hall. Stuff and mount me on the wall. Thirty hours to live, how shall I spend them?’

            Standing there in a ghostly empty party room was the worst nightmare anyone could have imagined. A ruptured friendship. Three ugly sisters with more power then they deserved. Yet, she forgot.

           She had put herself into this whole mess. She had wanted to be part of the ugly sister comment. The bitter sweet sensation had brought her satisfaction and acceptance between her other peers.

Now it was… only bitter.

Because (Y/n) had even had the audacity to stand against them. They made it a public statement to make her live a living hell. As if the room hadn’t already been hot before.

Her palms were sweaty from the wild night she had. Her school uniform stuck to her cold skin a bit to tightly. (Y/n) collar seemed to squeeze tighter, and tighter as the night went on.

I don’t have to stay and die like cattle. I could change my name and ride up to Seattle. But I don’t own a motorbike.

           (Y/n) contemplated the endless options she could muster. Running away to the next town… or a town across the seas. Her parents didn’t need to know. No one needed to know anything. However, the more she thought upon one idea. The more ridiculous it ended up sounding. Even in her own head.

           So, she continued on her way home. The summer night was overwhelmingly stuffy. Large beads of sweat formed on her forehead and rolled down her red cheeks. Right about now she wished for nothing more than a cold shower to run down her spine.  

                       Y/n) spotted a window spilling light onto the side walk. Her eyes followed the beam of light to a room seated on a two-story building. She could a shadow of a figure walk by. Long spoffy hair poking out from all angles of his head. (Y/n) chuckled to herself.

           She knew who the lavender purple hair belonged to.

There was suddenly an interrupting thought that came into her mind. Something devious, something… naughty. The liquor in her blood burned and set her body a flame. Desire hit her with a bus, especially in the lower area. The more she played with the idea. The wetter she became.

           Wait, here an option that I like. Spend these thirty hours getting freaky!

Yeah!

           I need it hard. I’m a dead girl walking!

 (Y/n) marched her pretty little face right up to the door of Shinsou’s house. The blood in her veins mixed with the alcohol pumped excitedly. She was feeling too good to turn back. There was no hesitation in her hands as she lifted it to ring the doorbell twice.

           She waited patiently for the door to open.

I’m in your yeard. I’m a dead girling walking. Before they punch my clock. I’m snapping off your window lock. Got no time to knock. I’m a dead girl walking…

           The door finally opened. She was greated by the man himself, Hitoshi Shinsou. Someone she saw frequently in her life and had… affections toward. One could say the feelings were returned. There was only one way to find out now.

           “(Y/n)? What’re you doing in my house?”

She smiled innocently. She took her pointer finger and pressed it gently onto Shinsou lips. She found it amusing the way his eyes went wide. A blush slowly creeping its way onto his face.

           “Shhhh.”

Once Shinsou had finally regained his courage, he took her by the hand and led her inside. To him it was evident she wasn’t all put together, as she usually was. Before she could say anything more, he sat her up in his room. Giving her some water and medicine to replace the hangover pain she may have in the morning.

           “Better?” He asked with a soft smile.

She nodded. Though the courage in her heart did not disappeared with the buzz. (Y/n) scooted her body closer to his. Their shoulders, legs, and arms bumping in several places. The blushed rushed back to his, but he didn’t move away from her.  Her perfume flooded his senses. Rooting him in his place.

           Sorry, but I really had to wake you. See, I decided I must ride you ‘til I break you.

The blush on Shinsou’s cheeks traveled evenly to the rest of his face. He was completely blown away by the words that had just come out of his dear friends’ mouth.

           Of course, he adored his friend. He would risk life and limb for the women before him. On the other hand, this hadn’t been the way he had planned to confess to such a lovely girl.

           She was rubbing up against him in a way he almost couldn’t say no. Shinsou gently grabbed her by the shoulders and forced himself to pause for a moment. He had to be sincere now. For her sake.

           “Wait, wait! What has gotten into you?”

‘Cause Heather says I gots to go. You’re my last meal on death row. Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys”

           (Y/n) turned the table on him. She wiggled her way around him. Pinning him underneath her on his bed. There was her scent again, intoxicating his mind. The way she moved to sit upon his waist did the unimaginable to him. He was beginning to feel tight in the jeans he wore.

           He shot up again. As much as Shinsou wanted this. The desire for her consent grew bigger than anything poking in his pants. He would hate himself for several eternities if she regretted this in the end.

           “Wait.” The word fell firmly to (Y/n) ears. Her giggles became put aside. She starred wide eyes and locked eyes with Shinsou Listening attentively to what he had to say to her.

           Shinsou’s eyes closed for a moment. He simply let himself be present in her presence. Allowing him to short his desires and feelings.

           “I…” He started but couldn’t finished until another second passed. “I have cherished you… for what seems like forever now. Watching you become such a powerful hero and wonderful friend. I would do anything to protect you from any harm. Even if that means it’s from myself. So, I have to know. You have to be certain.”

           Shinsou toned shifted from his love filled admiration to an urgent one. What he said next was a serious matter to him.

           “You have to be certain this is what you want. With me. A life and a future with someone like me. Otherwise, I’ll make sure you get home safe.”

           Shinsou’s room became painfully silent for a few moments. (Y/n) eyes traveled to his chest. Perhaps trying to dissect his rapidly beat heart for sincerity. When she came back to meet his gaze… Shinsou had a feeling she had her answer.

           A soft smile graced her lips. Her face was so close to his he could taste the drink she had on his tongue.

           And you know, you know, you know. Its cause you’re beautiful. You say you’re numb inside, but I can’t agree. So the worlds unfair. Keep it locked out there. In Here it’s beautiful. Let’s make this beautiful!”

            Her lips were on his in an instant. Her hands slide across his chest and up to his neck. Losing themselves in his wild hair. It took him a moment to register what was finally happening. Once he knew, boy. Did he respond. His arms found their way around (Y/n) waist and brought her closer to him. It didn’t take long before the grinding became heated. Kisses became hastily sloppy. Hands were slipping into places never touched by anyone else.

           One by one, clothes were beginning to come off.

 Tonight, I’m yours. I’m your dead girl walking! Get on all fours! Kiss this dead girl walking. Let’s, go you know the drill. I’m hot and pissed and on the pill. Bow down to the will- Of a dead girl walking!

            Shinsou had (Y/n) pinned down to his bed. His pillowed framing her face perfect, though her hair was already becoming a mess. The face she was giving him still droves his desire. He wanted you immediately. It was only a matter of time before Shinsou had his thumb hooked on the pants and panties (Y/n) had chosen to wear. Sliding them off her smooth (S/c) legs. The new cool air rubbing against her sex produced a whimper from her throat. Shinsou chuckled lighty at the reaction.

           He then removed his own shirt. Moving to then remove hers. He plucked the buttons one by one. The bra she wore was gone in a second. Revealing her total naked body to him. A sculpture he could marvel in for hours if he was given the time.

           Full steam ahead. Take this dead girl walking! Lets break the bed. Rock this dead girl walking. No sleep tonight for you. Better chug that Mountain Dew! Get your ass in gear. Make this whole town disappear.

                      (Y/n) rose up from her place. Starling Shinsou slightly. He let out a small yelp when he found himself on his back again. His face turned red again when (Y/n) undid the buckle of his pants and ran them down impatiently. As if he would run away when the clock struck 12.

           Her mouth found his member way too quickly for Shinsou to take. A loud groan caught him off guard as her wet lips wrapped around him. Her tongue swirling in all the right spots. Another growl ripped through his teeth when the full length of him hit the back of her throat. Combined with rhythmic pumping of her mouth and hand was almost too much for him. Shinsou had to protest for a stop before he would be completely spent.

           Sitting up and looking into (Y/n). He couldn’t be filled with anymore lust before her burst. It only took another minute for (Y/n) to lay on her back. Shinsou nestling himself between her legs. Teasing her wet entrance.

           A single push at the hip was all it took for him to be completely inside her.

  The rest of the night Shinsou and (Y/n) spent their new-found time tangled in each other. Pleasure and it each touch filled with loving passion. They shared every moment they could. Hot breathes, moans and kisses coming from their lips.

#my hero academia #shinso hitoshi #shinsō hitoshi #shinsou x reader #mha shinsou #bnha shinsou

[the-little-garbagefire-who-could]

Tips For Making Your Life Happier Everyday

What do you do when you plant a seed in hopes of growing a flower? You get a nice pot and fill it with soil. You wouldnt throw it on cement and wonder why it didnt bloom. The same is true for yourself, you need an appropriate space to grow and feel good! So I've compiled a list of things that help my boyfriend (depression) and myself (anxiety) feel better in our little two room apartment with a budget. 🌑 - Get that shit OUTTA HERE! The first step is to declutter. Our rule of thumb is if we dont use it once a week (some items once a month), we sell, donate, or pass it on! Having an open space gives you room to breathe and think 🌞 - Let the light in! Never leave your blinds closed 24/7. We live right smack next to a busy road and all of our windows face it but we've traded the quiet and the view for the light that pours in. Its proven to boost your mood and make you feel more awake, aka more likely to get out of bed and off that couch 💐 - Stop and smell the...something! I'm a citrus gal myself, it makes me feel relaxed and clean. My boyfriend prefers the smell of spices. Personally florals give me a headache but my mom uses lavender to unwind. Find a sent you love and get candles, incense, essential oils, or a wall spray to help the room smell bright and pleasant ❄ - Keep it cool. Now if you're like me living in the subtropics you cant run your AC all the time, but you can invest in a fan, some cold water, or (my little trick that my boyfriend HATES) at the end of your shower, turn it to cold for a quick spell. It'll really help keep you cool for a good little while to come. Being too hot and stuffy makes you feel lathargic. 🌱 - Grow Darling. Get some plants! Succulents if you're a black thumb, or try your hand with spider plants to help clean the air! Just beware, my cat likes to try eat the leaves on my spider plant, make sure all of your plants are pet friendly with your animals or well out of their reach. 🐠 - Sleep with the fishes. But really get a fish tank! This is such underrated therapy and can bring peace and life to your room like nothing else. Currently a 5.5g tank at Petsmart is on sale for $19. We upgraded our beta into one today. There is something so soothing about the running water, gentle sway of marine plants, illuminated pebbles, and a fish serenely swimming about. Just remember not to crowd your tank with too many fish and please remember these are living creatures. While yes they are BEAUTIFUL ornimentally and all you can really do is watch them, they are beings too. Minerva for example loves to watch us and will follow us across the room. She likes her leaf bed but never interacts with her moss ball. Nothing less than a gallon is suitable for ANY fish, absolutely no bowls, and filters are a must. ( A running water fountain makes an ok alternative if you cannot meet these needs) 🎵 - Music. Play music! Music is a must in our apartment and is almost always on in the background to give ambiance and purpose to the moment. Music has a powerful effect on your mood so remember music that is sad or aggressive is okay, but only for short moments when you need to express a feeling. They should not be your go-to. Do not surround yourself with those feelings that will keep you down or anger you. Acknowledge them, then let them pass. 🌌 - Finally, give this place a spirit. Is this a calming space or an uplifting space? Since I share I space, I have to find ways to make my living room work for me. I like to display my yoga mat, my ukulele, my plants, my running shoes, and things that I love. James has his movies and games on display, as well as posters of plays he has played the lead in. Put what you want to be important to you right in front of you. Maybe you don't paint but you want to? Get out your supplies and display it, just seeing it brings you one step closer to doing it. Cover the room in motivation. Maybe you want to meditate, get a large pillow or mat set it in clear view ready to go. Wanna read? Put a book on your coffee table or night stand. Let your space support you. Best of wishes to all of you out there working towards a better life. I hope you can implement at least one of these tips and that it helps move you forward in your growth. And everyone feel free to drop me an ask anytime if you have any specific questions in mind!

#Vegan #decorating #dorm #apartment #bedroom #house #college #moving out #fish #healthy #food #depression #anxiety #mental health #positivity #motivation #fitness #tips #ask #life #music #pets #cheap #diy #essential oils #yoga

[omggiogiothings]

22 and 5 pleaseeeeee

22.)“Your cycle is Fucked up because of all those suppressants you took.” -Lance

&

5.) “You're feverish, so stop being stubborn and go lay in thenest.” -Shiro

Shklance / Alpha Shiro & Lance, Omega Keith

Here you go bby. More under the cut CAUSE I CANT WRITE DRABBLES APPARENTLY.

--

The issue with suppressants was that they only looked atimmediate effects and not the long term ones. Keith had gone on themwhen he decided heats were The Worst and he'd rather avoid it then worry if thebirth control worked. Dating Shiro and Lance had certainly been an experienceand Keith never had an issue until it came to sharing his heats with them.

With their first pregnancy scare Keith decided no fucking way, and hopped onto thepills for immediate effects.

It had been pretty decent until the doctor pulled him aside andgently explained he needed to give his body a rest. There wasn't anything wrongwith suppressants, he explained, but we recommend having you go through a fewheats if you're looking to have children in the future.

Keith, despite not wanting a child now, wanted to eventuallystart a family with Lance and Shiro. So he had agreed, getting onto the programas the doctor explained the repercussions and possible side effects. The firstfew cycles would be hell if he was unlucky, otherwise it would continue asnormal.

He didn't outright tell the others what would happen. He justmentioned he'd be off suppressants and gave them a fair warning date about whenit would happen.

He was fine up until his cycle should have happened. Everyonewaited for the week with bated breath only for absolutely nothing to happen.Keith was worried, wondering if he had made a mistake but his doctor reassuredhim sometimes his body needed time to kick back into gear.

When it did happen, it had lasted for a day. He was curled up inhis nest, waiting out for when he felt ready to invite Lance and Shiro in whenthe feeling just vanished.

It happened a few more times over the course of the month thatLance, not one to beat around the bush said, “Your cycle is Fucked up becauseof all the suppressants you took.”

It led to an argument with Keith lashing out. He was annoyed andtired at his body. There was a worry that maybe he had messed up their chancesat ever starting a family together. But his head also hurt and his body ached.He was coming down with something and didn't know if it was because of his heator something else.

Shiro came home to a tense household with Keith deciding enoughwas enough and resisted every single impulse he had if it wasn't going to throwhis body back into a heat. He knew the others were just as anxious. He wassmelling like preheat for weeks now.

“Hey.” Shiro called out gently as Keith twitched from the pileof books he was cleaning out from the shelf. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” He snapped, shoulders tense. He realized he was lashingout again and rubbed at his forehead with a sigh. “Sorry. I fought with Lance.”

Shiro sighed, shifting from his spot behind the couch. Keithrecognized it was Shiro trying to decide who needed comfort more so he decidedfor him. “I’m fine. Lance is upstairs.”

In his nest, hereminded himself, making him slam a book down onto a pile a little moreforcefully. Shiro came over and knelt down beside him to give him a kiss beforefreezing and reaching out to gently touch at Keith’s face.

“Babe, you're burning up.”

“I'm fine.” He said, testy. “Just my body not being able todecide if it wants me to get Fucked or not.”

His hormones were out of whack and he knew Shiro didnt deservehis attitude but at the moment he was too tired and frustrated with himself tocare. Shiro was a saint, rolling his eyes and kissing him again before gettingup to check on Lance.

Keith stayed on the floor for awhile, sorting books out inalphabetical order and ignoring how stuffy his head felt. Sleepy, hot, and justexhausted he got to his feet to head upstairs before remembering Shiro andLance were up there. He remembered the way he treated the both of them andgroaned before stumbling onto the couch for a nap. He'd finish sorting out thebooks in the morning before going to apologize to Lance.

Satisfied, he turned in for a nap.

When he woke up, he was shivering and felt like shit. The doctorhad mentioned getting sick but he couldn't tell with so many symptoms clashingwith him during a heat. It was dark and he was still on the couch. He couldn'ttell how long he'd been asleep but he assumed Shiro and Lance hadn't venturedback downstairs since they got home.

His annoyance came back with just a smidgen of hurt. They werein his nest without him. The Omega in him whined at the discomfort of it,making him curl into himself. Once he was able to ignore that instinct he gotto his feet and headed to the kitchen for a drink of water.

While pulling down a glass from the cupboard, he trembled andthe glass slipped, hitting the counter before shattering on the ground. Thesound was piercing, making him since and curl into himself.

He breathed heavily, not moving and aware of how cold he wasdespite the way he was sweating.

“Keith?” Shiro asked, sounding half asleep.

“Mmsorry. Dropped a glass.” He moved back, planning to clean itup but stumbled over his feet. Shiro reached out and caught him.

“Whas goin on?” Lance asked from somewhere behind him.

“Keith, you're burning up.” Shiro brushed back his hair, evenKeith shivered.

“I'm cold.” He whispered.

“You're sick.” Lance mumbled, reaching forward to feel againstKeith’s forehead and letting out a slow whistle. “That's a fever for sure.”

“I'm fine.” He snapped back, but lost his energy as Shiro helpedhim stand.

“You're not.” Lance bit back. “So come back to the nest with usand sweat it out."

The sound of his nest felt good but it also came with ickyfeelings he couldn't place. “No.”

“Oh my god, why?” Lance groaned, rubbing at his eyes. “Why do wehave a boyfriend who doesn't understand the concept of self care?”

“Shut up.” Keith whined, feeling his chest tight and not knowingwhy he just didn't feel good.

Shiro, finally having enough picked up Keith effortlessly.“You're feverish. So stop being stubborn and go lay in the nest, Keith.”

“Contradicting when you're carrying him there.” Lance pointedout helpfully.

Keith fought a little at the jostling before he found himselfthrown onto the small nest he had prepared in there. He could feel the warmthfrom where the other two had been laying with him and curled up instantly.

In the morning, when he was more coherent and eating the soupLance had made (with strict instructions from Hunk) he apologized.

“No.” Lance said gently. “I’m sorry. I was a little insensitiveover your suppressants and I'm sorry. That wasn't right of me to call you outon it when you probably already knew all about it.”

“But I'm sorry.” He tried, peeking at the both of them. “Forbeing a dick these past few months. I don't wanna just blame my hormones beingout of whack. I'm being stupid about it too.”

Lance sighed, reaching over to brush his hair back. “If itmatters, you probably got the greatest character development arc.”

He snorted, shoving him away weakly. Everything felt settledunder them but he knew he still had to admit something. They always pushed forcommunication and it wasn't fair that he always held back on them.

“The doctor asked me to get off suppressants.” He admitted,getting their attention quickly. “He asked me if I wanted kids in the future.That if I did, I needed to take breaks so my body doesn't just reject it if westart trying.” He gave out a little shrug, playing with the blanket. “I justassumed it'd be easy to jump back into my cycles but I was on them for toolong. I'm just, I was scared I guess? Cause I know how much you guys want afamily and I thought I ruined that chance for us.”

“Keith.” Shiro started, sharing a look with Lance. “We want afamily but there are other ways to get it. We would never want you to dosomething you weren't comfortable with, even if we wanted it.”

“I want to.” He blurted, blushing. “I want to give you guys afamily. I'm okay with it. If I wasn't, I would have stayed on thesuppressants.”

He peeked at them, seeing the fond look on Shiro’s face beforehe leaned over and kissed his forehead. “Lets talk about this when you'rebetter. Well go with you to your next appointment and see if there's anythingwe can do to make this easy for you.”

Lance nodded, taking his hand before flopping into Keith’s lap.“Yup. I'm sure there has to be birth control we can take to make sure you canhave a heat without consequences. You don't have to take this all on your own.”He missed the back of Keith’s hand gently.

Keith sighed, wondering how he got so lucky to get the bestpartners in the world.

And then Lance gave that smile that meant he was going to saysomething stupid, “So… you wanna make babies with me?”

Keithshoved him as Shiro let out a bark of laughter.

[nocteverbascio]

the ways we meet: kara/lucy + miscommunication

Pairing: Kara Danvers/Lucy Lane Summary:  Lucy thinks she's the only one on Earth without a soulmate, while Kara constantly worries for hers. (the soulmate au where if you get hurt or your soulmate gets hurt you also get hurt) A/N: this is 7k words jsyk---i didnt intend for it to be this long or have so many emotions but IF YOURE DOWN FOR ANGST AND LOVE HERE IT IS 

ao3 link

When Lucy was growing up, she was told that she’d be connected to her soulmate physically. If they were to get hurt in any shape or form, she’d be able to feel it and see it. It sounded stupid to Lucy, a weird, twisted form of romantic tragedy. If they get hurt, I get hurt? Why would I want that? Why would I want them to feel that?

Lucy was always careful. She took care of her body like it was a temple. Health and fitness have always been important to her because she didn’t want her soulmate to get hurt on her account.

There were some accidents of course. Her broken arm when she was 7 years old. Her high ankle sprain when she was 15 years old. Her concussion when she was 17 years old.

Then she decided on going to West Point.

And there were plenty of nights, she’d lie in bed staring at the ceiling hoping that her apologies would reach her soulmate somehow.

In all those years, Lucy realized that she’d never gotten a response - a response being a bruise or mark from her soulmate getting hurt. She’d chalk it up to her soulmate being just as careful as she was. But she knew it was human to get into accidents sometimes.

When she shipped out for the war on her first tour, she started to question whether or not her soulmate even existed.

-------------

Kara landed on Earth when she was 12 years old, new to Earth customs and culture. The most interesting thing was soulmates. The Codex never existed for romance and Kara wondered if she’d be the only person on Earth without a soulmate.

However, five months living on earth, learning about her abilities that made her almost indestructible on earth, Kara collapsed in the middle of class, feeling like her head had been split into two. Alex says she’s being dramatic, but she was careful to call their parents to figure out what it was.

Kara had a huge bruise on the side of her head and all the symptoms of a concussion without actually doing anything.

It surprised everyone to realize that maybe, somehow, Kara had a soulmate just like any other person on Earth. So she’d grown up feeling comforted by the fact that there was someone out there on Earth that Kara had a bond with. Although, there were days that multiple bruises that would appear on her body, making her look like a punching bag. While it never hurt Kara much, she was deeply worried for her soulmate and took an extra effort to take care of herself.

By the time she and Alex were teenagers, they realized their soulmates had a knack for running into violent situations. Alex would go home after school some days with a split lip or black eyes. There were nights they’d go to sleep hoping that whatever situation their soulmate was in, they’d be safe.

-------------

The desert is hot and dry. Lucy wonders if she can ever enjoy the beach again because there are places where she still feels sand rubbing against her and she wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

She’s starting her second tour, being jostled in the back of a humvee next to a guy named Mike, who has been extra annoying.

“How’d you get that scar?” he asks, smirking underneath his sunglasses.

Lucy looks at him in confusion. “What scar?”

“The one at your eyebrow. You run into something?”

Lucy thinks for a moment about the little indentation at the beginning of her left eyebrow. “Don’t know, born with it,” she responds curtly, not really in the mood for a conversation when they’re in hot territory.

“Figured it’d be from your soulmate,” he notes before pushing off his glove briefly to reveal a scar across his palm. “That’s how I got mine.”

Lucy stares at him curiously and briefly wonders if her soulmate (if they exist) was the reason for that mark.

The thought it quickly pushed to the back of her mind when a rocket launcher gets shot 100 feet in front of them. There’s a cacophony of screams, explosions, and bullets ricocheting that Lucy would never forget.

-------------

Alex and Kara are at the beach enjoying Kara’s first summer from college when it happens.

One minute they’re wrestling in the sand and the next a sharp pain rips through Kara’s shoulder. Kara screams painfully because she feels something digging through her skin. She collapses onto the sand with Alex yelling her name. She’d never felt pain like this before and she clutches to Alex hovering above her, trying to control the bleeding.

She feels like she’s dying. “Alex---my soulmate---” she gasps raggedly, terrified at the thoughts running through her head.

“You’re going to be fine, Kara, we just have to stop the bleeding,” Alex tries to remain as calm as possible, pushing a dry towel onto her bleeding shoulder. She yells for someone to call an ambulance. “You and your person are going to be just fine.”

“Promise?” Kara clutches Alex.

Alex nods confidently. “You know how tough our people are.”

Kara finds out later from Alex that she--her soulmate--had been shot clean through the shoulder.  

“Guess you’re not entirely bulletproof,” Alex jokes.

Kara just rolls her eyes and sinks back into the bed, grateful that there were no major arteries or nerves that were hit. However, it’s one of the few scars that’s left behind on Kara’s alien skin on Earth.

There’s a sense of comfort in Kara’s heart to know that her soulmate didn’t have to go through that alone. Every second, she lied there bleeding, she’d pray to Rao for the safety of her person.

But it doesn’t get better right away and Kara fears the worst. There are bruises on her face, superficial cuts from fine blades on her body, and a couple of broken fingers for the following week that Kara doesn’t leave the house for the rest of the summer. She feels like a prisoner being tortured and Kara has half a mind to fly into a war zone the minute Alex alludes to the idea. 

She constantly worries for her soulmate after that.

Especially when there’s a significant lack of injuries afterwards. Alex reminds her that humans take time to heal and if the injuries have stopped, that maybe her soulmate is recovering.

It’s not until almost a year later that Kara gets a papercut that she cries for joy.

Over the next couple of years, Kara learns her soulmate must’ve stopped doing dangerous things. The bruises still come but not as frequently, her hands have random papercuts, occasionally, there are what feels like hot water burns on her hands and lap.

Everything was going to be okay because Kara is indestructible and her soulmate was healing.

Until she becomes Supergirl.

-------------

Lucy remembers staring at the sunlight, bleeding profusely from her shoulder as she tries to reorient her senses. She remembers being taken as a prisoner (later she finds out for approximately 8 days) and tortured for information. There were threats to her life and to her soulmate’s life.

However, on day 3, Lucy already admitted to herself that she doesn’t have a soulmate. Because there’s no chance in all of her life that her soulmate would be a perfect human to not get hurt in some shape or form, on purpose or by accident. And it’s fine. It brings her comfort to know that while she’s going through hell, at least someone else wouldn’t have to suffer with her.

When they find her and take her back home, Lucy does her best to move on. She honors the men she served with and takes on a new path in her life. She goes back to school, Harvard Law, asking herself for awhile if she’d ever really leave the army or if the change of environment would do her good. She fills her life with things that she wants to do, hobbies that don’t require a gun or gloves (she picks up kickboxing again for fitness of course), and resolves to find love.

She meets Jimmy and thinks he’s the one. She falls for his smile and charm; his kindness reminds her of some of the goodness left in the world. He tells her that at a young age, he’d have nasty bruises, sometimes almost angry. It scared him until one day they stopped completely and for a brief moment, he felt empty. Lucy sympathizes with him, holding his hand, leaning on his shoulder and says she’d never felt anything ever.

They stay together until one day Jimmy gets a bruise on his arm.

He smiles brighter than the year the spent together. Lucy feels her heart break but she still loves him and is happy she was able to be loved if only briefly. They break up, Jimmy finding a new position in National City at CatCo because of someone named Supergirl making waves and Lucy’s left on her own.

The job she tolerated with a bunch of stuffy rich white men becomes less tolerable now that Jimmy isn’t there. It takes about a week for the news to get to her father and she gets offered a position as his legal attache.

The work takes her to National City for Supergirl.

-------------

Lucy meets her for the first time and she isn’t impressed.

“Major Lane,” Lucy politely introduces after having slapped an executive order at Director Henshaw.

“Supergirl,” the taller blonde greets as she takes Lucy’s hand.

Lucy doesn’t realize that the ice blue eyes are studying her face until they widen imperceptibly. “Is there a problem?” she asks, startling the superhero.

“No, no! I’m sorry, just-I thought---nevermind,” Supergirl rambles---she rambles, before quickly letting go of her hand like it’s on fire.

It’s kind of cute.

Lucy feels her interest piqued. She’s read Supergirl’s file and updates herself on the news reports and Cat Grant’s articles. Supergirl is young and impulsive as she is pretty (Lucy tries not to linger on the thought). She still has a lot to learn that it frustrates Lucy.

Lucy is a soldier. She’s been trained to save lives. Supergirl is just a young woman going out there with no proper training or regard for the effect she has. But as much as Lucy dislikes Supergirl, there are things she can respect (and admire) like her verve, passion, and hope.

Supergirl always seems to have hope when things go south. She might not know what to do next, but she will damn well reassure the team they’d do the right thing. She smiles bright enough to even bring a smile to Lucy’s face.

-------------

Then she meets Kara Danvers and finds that energy and hope almost tenfold.

Lucy bumps into Kara in the lobby of CatCo, a hot latte spilling onto both of them. Lucy hisses at the hot liquid on her arm.

“Oh god, that was hotter than I imagined it would be,” Kara exclaims with surprise in her voice. She pauses briefly and her eyes widen upon seeing Lucy. “I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay,” Lucy tries as she inspects her arm for any burns. “I think I’m going to be okay.”

Kara takes her hand and pulls her upstairs. “Come on, I just want to make sure you’re going to be okay and get you a new shirt so I can take yours to dry cleaning,” she goes off quickly.

Lucy follows after. “You don’t have to worry about that---”

“No, it’s okay, I insist,” she goes on. “I should’ve been more careful. Sometimes I space out.”

-------------

Lucy also insists that she’s fine but Kara doesn’t take no for an answer. It isn’t until they’re in the bathroom together as Lucy tugs on one of Kara’s spare button ups that she thinks to ask Kara if she’s okay. Kara awkwardly tugs her fresh shirt before nodding.

“I’m fine, my sister says I’ve got thick skin,” she jokes.

Lucy stares suspiciously, her eyes meeting the familiar ice blue ones that are hidden behind her thick framed glasses. “Have we met before?”

Kara’s face turns red and she shakes her head profusely. “No, no! I might just have one of those faces. I get mixed up for Blake Lively sometimes, which is kind of crazy because I don’t think we look anything alike but some people just randomly come up to me and call me Blake,” she rambles quickly.

Lucy actually laughs at how flustered Kara is and it only furthers her embarrassment. But it’s cute. And for once, Lucy feels like she’s around someone that fills her heart with warmth.

Eventually, Lucy mentions she’s there to see Jimmy and take him to lunch.

“Hey, you!” Jimmy greets enthusiastically as he gets up from his desk to hug Lucy. He takes in her appearance for a moment. “Did you come from a walk of shame? Because I know that’s definitely not your shirt.”

“Sorry!” Kara blurts out, red tinting her cheeks still. “I bumped into her earlier and got coffee all over her shirt, so I lent her one of mine. I thought I’d bring your soulmate to you in one piece as all.”

“Oh no, we’re not soulmates,” Lucy protests fairly quickly. She doesn’t know why she feels the need to dispel that idea quickly.

Kara stares in confusion before Jimmy adds, “We dated, but we aren’t soulmates. It’s kind of complicated.”

“His soulmate is somewhere out there waiting to fall into these gorgeous large arms and I don’t have one,” Lucy says flippantly that Jimmy slaps her shoulder.

Kara opens her mouth trying to process what Lucy’s said but just stares at her instead like she wants to say something.

“Shut up, your soulmate is out there too,” Jimmy chides, distracting Kara. “Sorry, she’s kind of a self deprecating human but she’ll be better when you get to know her.”

Lucy rolls her eyes and Kara goes with it. Although, she continues to stare at Lucy curiously before she says something about hearing Miss Grant call for her.

Lucy doesn’t realize she stares until Jimmy waves his hand in front of her. “What’re you doing?”

“You were staring at Kara,” he notes with a smile on his face. “Are you interested?”

Lucy scoffs. “Don’t be ridiculous. She’s probably already met her soulmate.”

-------------

They get to know each other while Lucy is National City. It was nice to have someone to talk to outside of the army and DEO other than James. She’d meet Kara for lunch and coffee occasionally.

Until there was a particular evening Noonan’s that Kara found her contemplating over a glass of whiskey about what to think of Supergirl.

“I don’t think she’s terrible, I think she just needs some guidance and support,” Lucy admits after four glasses. “Everyone sees her as a hero and she is one. She’s proven over and over that she’s here for the people of National City. She’s not some sort of creature that needs to be taken into the lab for experiments. That’s crazy, I can’t stand for that.”

Kara looks shocked at Lucy’s words and slightly scared.

“Oh god, I really shouldn’t be telling you these things,” Lucy grimaces as she polishes off her fifth glass quickly. “Don’t remind me I did this.” She orders a sixth, even though she’s bordering drunk.

Kara’s hand falls on her back, rubbing in comforting circles that catches Lucy’s attention, and the other hand reaches to stop Lucy from grabbing the sixth glass of whiskey. “Hey, it’s okay,” she soothes. “I know work can be really frustrating and it must be difficult to have all these conflicting feelings. For what it’s worth, I know your heart is in the right place, and if Supergirl were here right now, she’d appreciate you for defending her.”

Kara speaks with such certainty that Lucy almost believes her. There’s a hopeful look on Kara’s face as she takes a moment to stare, her eyes meeting the icy blue ones once more. They’re such kind and beautiful eyes that Lucy feels herself mesmerized.

For a fleeting moment, Lucy wants to kiss Kara. Kara’s eyes dart to her lips and Lucy leans in. She’s kissing Kara Danvers and it feels like her heart is soaring because Kara is kissing her back. It feels like they’ve been dying to do that forever.

Even though there’s a nagging thought in the back of her mind that Kara’s soulmate is somewhere still out there, waiting to meet her, Lucy can have this for now. She can have beautiful, hopeful Kara that makes her heart swell with life.

Kara can’t believe this. She almost wants to push Lucy back and tell her it’s a mistake and they shouldn’t be doing this.

She does just that and there’s hurt look written across Lucy’s face that makes her heart ache inside of her.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that clearly,” Lucy tries to brush off, even though her eyes are already tearing up. “You have someone…”

Kara opens her mouth and quickly closes it. “I--” she contemplates telling Lucy the truth, that she thinks Lucy might actually be her soulmate. But she isn’t sure. At least not entirely. All she knows is that she wants Lucy. And she settles it quickly with, “It’s not that...just I thought--I don’t want to take advantage of you because you’re drunk right now.”

Lucy laughs sardonically and reaches for that sixth glass of whiskey. Kara reaches for it and settles it back on the table gently.

“Come stay with me tonight?” Kara offers carefully. “No funny business…”

Lucy shakes her head. “It’s fine,” she smiles, despite not wanting to at all. “I have my own place.”

Kara turns Lucy to face her, clasping her hands. “I want you with me tonight,” she admits because the yearning in her chest is becoming unbearable. “Tomorrow we can talk about whatever this is.”

Lucy opens her mouth to protest when Kara leans in quickly, pressing her lips against Lucy to stop her. She’s so sure that Lucy’s hers and she doesn’t want Lucy to lose hope. She just needs to find a way to let Lucy know she has a soulmate.

When Kara pulls away, Lucy’s eyes are shut, lips pursed and she swallows as if she’s savoring Kara’s kiss.

“Lucy?” Kara asks softly.

Lucy nods. “Tomorrow,” she agrees.

-------------

When tomorrow does come, it’s awkward and messy. Lucy tries very hard to talk Kara out of whatever they’re going to try that it confuses the hell out of Kara. However, Kara clings to the hope that Lucy is her soulmate, she’s sure of it. Because the more she’s around Lucy, the more she stares at Lucy, the more she feels connected to her.

Until Lucy says it to her face, “One day, you’re going to wake up with a bruise, a cut, or whatever from your soulmate letting you know that they’re there. That they’re real and waiting for you find them. Trust me, I’ve been waiting for years for a sign and if they’re not here now, maybe they just never were.”

The words cut so deep into Kara that all she can do is blurt out, “That’s not true. I know it’s not. I am here for you Lucy! I want to be here for you now!”

Lucy looks up at Kara with such intense eyes that Kara is scared she’s said the wrong thing. But she stands firmly, staring back at Lucy just as intensely. While Lucy’s eyes shines like emeralds in the morning light, Kara notices the little indentation at Lucy’s left eyebrow.

The same mark and placement of when she ran into the corner of table back on Krypton and Kara’s heart swells, feeling more sure than ever that Lucy is hers.

Before she can say anything, Lucy throws her arms around Kara’s shoulders kissing her fully and Kara returns the passion quickly. If she has hope that Lucy is hers then she wants to make sure that Lucy can believe that Kara is hers too.

They decide to try--more like, Kara convinces Lucy to give them a shot--but it isn’t easy.

-------------

There’s an alien attack on the president that has everyone on high alert and the tarmac of National City Airport becomes a crime scene.

Lucy takes care of the press, Supergirl the president, and Alex the crime scene. But Alex is hanging behind Lucy as she signs off on official press statements.

Lucy finishes signing the last document before looking at Alex dressed as an FBI agent. “Is there something wrong, Danvers?”

Alex just purses her lips and crosses her arms. “My sister tells me you two are dating,” she notes aloud.

Lucy stands there impassively, but inside she shakes. “We are,” she straightens her back. “Is that going to be a problem?”

Alex looks her up and down carefully before leaning in. “If you hurt my little sister, I know ten different ways to get rid of a body.”

“Does your sister know that?” Lucy throws back playfully.

Alex reels back briefly in confusion, the same face Kara makes when Lucy says something particular. Lucy raises an eyebrow. “I’m a scientist, of course she knows,” Alex answers, almost sounding like a lie.

Lucy hums to herself before pointing behind Alex. “You better claim your crime scene before someone else does.”

Alex turns around to where Lucy is pointing to and sees a woman in a leather jacket with a badge strapped to her hip and angrily stalks over.

-------------

It doesn’t take long for a month to go by. After successfully capturing the bandits trying to attack the president and Alex finally meeting her soulmate, being with Kara almost becomes easy.

Almost.

Lucy feels her heart ache for Kara, like loving her has become too much in the year she’s moved to National City. She wants Kara and she knows Kara wants her too, through all of Kara’s declarations. Part of her hopes that when Kara finds her soulmate that maybe she’ll find hers also. The other half of her wishes that Kara was her soulmate because she doesn’t think she’ll ever feel this deeply for anyone else.

-------------

They have a game night because Kara wants everyone to meet Alex’s soulmate and she wants to celebrate a month with Lucy.

Yet, Kara starts acting funny. Almost restless.

It worries Lucy because she knows Kara well enough to sense that she’s hiding something.

Kara is zooming around the kitchen and Lucy swears she turns into a blur for a moment. She’s been fussing all night and all Lucy can do is stand by to make sure everything Kara needs is there.

It gets to be too much and Lucy reaches for Kara as she rearranges the board games for the umpteenth time.

“Is everything okay?” Lucy asks as she pulls Kara to sit down next to her on the couch. She reaches for her glass of wine to offer it to Kara.

While Kara doesn’t drink much or ever really, tonight she does and she takes the glass from Lucy and chugs it before setting it down.

Lucy stares in shock before she pulls Kara to face her. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

Kara nods quickly without looking at Lucy. She readjusts her glasses on her face. “I’m sorry, I just want everything to go perfectly tonight.”

Lucy smiles affectionately, pushing aside Kara’s hair. “We’ve had game nights before and they all turned out fine,” she comforts, moving closer to the blonde. “What’s really bothering you? You’ve been acting strange all week.”

“No, I’m not,” Kara protests quickly, staring at Lucy. She immediately apologizes. “I’m sorry, it’s just been kind of stressful and I don’t really know what to do about it.”

“You can talk to me,” Lucy assures as she pecks Kara. “We always talk about what’s bothering us.”

Kara shivers before nodding. “I know, I know,” she almost chastises herself.

Lucy shakes her head at Kara. “Maybe this will help calm you down,” she says mischievously as she wraps her arms around Kara’s strong shoulders.

“Huh?” Kara dumbly says before Lucy straddles her lap and kisses her. Whatever’s been bothering Kara gets quickly forgotten as Kara sighs into the kiss. She sits back into the cushions as Lucy deepens the kiss.

It doesn’t take long for both of them to feel hot. Kara’s hand finds its way underneath Lucy’s shirt and Lucy’s hands running through Kara’s hair. Kara moans into the kisses, as her hands roam around Lucy’s body. Lucy untucks Kara’s shirt to feel her hot muscled abs underneath her fingers quiver and slowly trails kisses down to her neck. Even if they haven't had sex yet, kissing Kara was addictive. 

“Lucy, people are coming over,” Kara breathily reminds as she lolls her head back onto the couch. She grips Lucy’s waist tightly.

“That’s okay,” Lucy smiles into Kara’s neck before nipping gently. It’s always hard to leave a mark on Kara that she’s given up on it, too afraid to break skin if she tried any harder.

“We haven’t--”

There’s a knock on the door and Kara sits up quickly that it almost knocks Lucy over. Lucy fixes her shirt and hair while Kara is already opening the door to Alex holding a bottle of whiskey.

Lucy comes up behind Kara to greet Alex.

Alex purses her lips between the two of them before saying aloud, “Lucy’s shade doesn’t suit you Kara.”

Kara turns around aghast, wiping her lips of Lucy’s lipstick and Lucy shrugs with a smug look to annoy Alex.

Winn and James show up with food not too long after that has Kara bouncing off the walls. Lucy just takes it all in, how normal it all feels with everyone in the room. It gets even better when Alex’s soulmate shows up because she instantly recognizes Lucy from the crime scene. So they bond a bit through teasing Alex’s no nonsense attitude because everyone knows Alex is a big softie.

After a couple of rounds of taboo (which James and Winn somehow dominate), a very competitive round of Settlers of Catan (because of Alex), a hilarious edition of charades (because Maggie is downright goofy), they finally decide to switch games.

Alex steals away Kara for the break and Lucy decides maybe it’s time for some coffee and tea if they’re going to be up any longer. James and Winn are too deeply enamored in conversation that Lucy lets them have their moment, while Maggie helps her in the kitchen.

“So we have a thing for the Danvers sisters,” Maggie jokes as an icebreaker.

Lucy laughs in agreement. “That we do,” she says as she pulls some mugs onto the island.

“When did you find out that Kara was yours?”

Lucy swallows, as she settles the kettle on the stove. She puts on a brave face as she looks at Maggie. “Oh, Kara isn’t my soulmate,” she admits as casually as she can.

Maggie stares at her in confusion. “Sorry, you’re not?” she tries to be understanding as she asks.

Lucy busies herself, looking for tea and coffee. “We’re not---we’re just dating,” she fumbles over her words as she pulls out the boxes. “It’s a little complicated.”

Maggie studies Lucy’s face briefly as she turns to put down the boxes next to the mugs. “Sorry, I just assumed you were.”

“What gave you that idea?”

“Well, I was a non-white non-straight in a small town of Nebraska, soooo getting roughed up came with the territory, and she mentioned you were in the army, so I just assumed if anything could explain the Danvers sisters’ bruises it’d probably be that,” Maggie explains. “I figured we’d also have to be really tough to handle them.” She says it so affectionately that Lucy is a bit jealous Maggie can speak so freely about Alex.

Lucy shrugs. “Sometimes, things aren’t what they seem.”

Maggie nods thoughtfully, reaching for the whiskey and pouring it into the mug in front of Lucy before pouring her own. “That I can agree with,” she says almost knowingly.

Lucy takes the mug of whiskey regardless and clinks with Maggie.

The kettle screeches for her attention and Maggie helps Lucy by asking the boys what they’d like to drink and Lucy goes to find Alex and Kara.

There’s a crack in Kara’s bedroom door and Lucy’s about to enter when she hears Alex.

“You should really tell her, she deserves to know.”

Kara groans. “Don’t you think I want to? It’s just so complicated.”

“You guys have been together for a month and you still haven’t mentioned it to her?”

Lucy feels her heart drop. Kara was hiding something from her.

“I just didn’t know how to. She doesn’t believe her soulmate is alive anymore and I couldn’t just give her false hope.”

“Now that you know for sure, Lucy deserves to hear the truth.”

“You weren’t there, Alex. You don’t know how hard it was for me that night. I thought I was just going to tell her everything then but I couldn’t do that to her; seeing her like that broke my heart. All I could do just let her know that someone was there for her, that at least I was there for her. ”

Her hand clenches at her side. She knew it. She should’ve steadfast to saying No to Kara, to not getting involved. Kara was with her out of pity and Lucy doesn’t do pity. She doesn’t stick around to listen anymore.

She doesn’t say goodbye as she grabs her jacket and walks right out of Kara’s apartment.

And now Lucy’s really glad that she doesn’t have a soulmate because they wouldn’t have to feel Lucy’s heart being ripped apart in that very moment.

-------------

Lucy won’t talk to her. Kara doesn’t know what kills her more, the fact that Lucy won’t talk to her or the fact that Lucy will never believe Kara is her soulmate now.

She’d heard the door slam shut and came out of the room instantly. When she looks around her apartment, Lucy was nowhere to be found.

Lucy is half a block away when Kara catches up to her.

“Lucy, are you okay? Where are you going?” Kara asks quickly, voice filled with concern.

Lucy whips around at her, eyes red from crying and she steps up to Kara. “I don’t ever want to see you again,” she seethes angrily.

“What?”

“I heard you talking to,Alex, and I can’t believe how stupid I was to think that we could’ve had something real,” Lucy spits out with disdain.

Kara feels her heart tighten inside of her. “Lucy, whatever you think about us right now, it’s not what it seems. I care about you and I--”

“Save it, Kara,” she interrupts furiously. “I don’t want your pity anymore.”

“Pity? What’re you talking about? Lucy, I want to be with you,” Kara argues as she reaches for Lucy.

Lucy steps back, heels stomping into the ground loudly. “You should’ve listened to me in the first place. Your soulmate is still out there, waiting for you, wanting to be with you. Stop wasting your time and my time and move on with your life.”

“Lucy, your soulmate is alive! Your soulmate is--”

“Don’t. Just stop. Stop lying to me. Stop speaking to me. Just stop. This is it. Whatever you thought this was is over,” Lucy declares with finality. She doesn’t wait for Kara to say anything else and continues to walk away.

Kara stands there feeling her heart ache painfully in her chest as she watches her soulmate walk away from her. She was afraid of this and now that it’s happened, she hates herself for not knowing what to do.

-------------

She tries. She calls and texts her a million apologies. Lucy ignores every single one of them. She doesn’t come to CatCo for lunch with James and doesn’t stop at Noonan’s for coffee at all. Not only has she cut herself from Kara, but everyone else as well. James hasn’t received any word from Lucy since that night. Alex hasn’t seen her at work for a few days.

Kara is at the DEO, in her Supergirl uniform, pouting next to Alex as she tries to dissect a baby alien spawn found dead in a Cadmus warehouse.

“Alex, what do I do?” Kara whines as she slumps on the stool next to Alex.

Alex rolls her eyes. “I told you to tell her the truth,” she reminds as she looks into her microscope.

“That’s not helpful,” Kara grumbles as she pushes her sister. “I was going to, I just didn’t know how I was going to do it. I was hoping that I’d be able to find absolute proof to show her.”

Alex glares at her sister. “I gave you proof. You wanted Maggie and I to look into Lucy’s army file and we did. She was honorably discharged after a tour where she was shot clean through the shoulder and tortured for eight days.”

Kara winces because she knows the grizzly details now and it only makes her feel worse.

“It’s not my fault you didn’t bring it up when you noticed the scar on her eyebrow that looked exactly like yours,” Alex adds the salt into the wound.

“I didn’t know for sure!” Kara argues. “How was I supposed to know she would be able to get that scar across a galaxy. Not to mention time? Because I was technically born before her!”

Alex puts her pen down and snaps off her gloves. “Kara, you know that we can’t explain any of this soulmate business. It’s not like all the rules are written in some book of truth. The only thing that we do know for sure is that when you meet your soulmate, in this universe that we are in now, you just know it’s them regardless of space and time.”

Kara sighs sadly. “I’m sorry,” she says softly. There are a myriad of things she needs to apologize for and most of them feel like her fault.

Alex pulls her sister into her chest. “I’m sorry too,” she returns, wishing she could do more for her sister. “I’m especially sorry if it seems like I am being hard on you about this because we didn’t think it could turn out like this.”

“You mean me being an impenetrable alien that moonlights as a superhero?” Kara tries sadly against Alex’s chest and wraps her arms around her sister’s waist.

Alex light laughs. “Yes, that,” she agrees. “We just didn’t take into account that if you could feel what she feels, that maybe she needed to feel like you were there too.”

Kara sighs, hugging Alex closer. “I just wished she didn’t give up on me so soon.”

“She didn’t, Kara,” Alex assures as she smooths out Kara’s hair. “She liked you for you, regardless of whether or not she thought you were her soulmate, Lucy wanted to give you a chance. You gave her enough hope that she could at least try to love and be loved.”

“I wish there was some way I could give her that hope and reassurance again, so she knows I’m not lying to her when I tell the truth,” Kara complains. “If I get to tell her the truth.”

“The whole truth and nothing but the truth?” Alex asks with a smile on her face.

Kara nods furiously. “The whole ten yards, about the pod, Supergirl, all of it.”

Alex sighs, wishing her sister caught the joke. “Alright, good, because Lucy is here.”

Kara jerks her head up Alex in disbelief before Alex points through her window. When she looks quickly, she sees Lucy in her tactical uniform, standing tall and proud, just turning the corner and scrambles after her.

Kara rushes down the halls to look around for Lucy and think Alex hallucinated until she runs into Vasquez, who tells her that Lucy took a turn into the armory.

“Lucy,” Kara breathes out as she reaches the doorway of the armory.

Lucy doesn’t jump in surprise but she slowly turns to the sudden voice. “Supergirl,” she greets curiously.

Kara looks at herself and huffs. Maybe she should’ve changed. She grumbles to herself.

“Did you need something, Supergirl?” Lucy asks.

Kara stops thinking a mile per minute and steps into the space. “Lucy, I want to tell you the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth.”

“So help you god?” Lucy jokes that makes Kara pause mid-thought. “Sorry, it’s a lame law joke. What’re you saying about the truth?”

“Oh right, yes, all of it,” Kara says, trying to form her thoughts as she goes along. “I want you to know about me and how difficult it is for me to get hurt.”

Lucy raises an eyebrow. “I’ve seen your performance, Supergirl, you’re known as the girl of steel,” she reminds playfully.

Kara runs her hands over her face in frustration. “Aghh,” she groans, “I am not explaining this well. I want to tell you the truth, about me being Supergirl, about the soul mate thing, and Kara Danvers.”

Lucy pauses and the playfulness slips away instantaneously. She crosses her arms defensively and steps toward Kara. “How do you know about Kara Danvers?”

“Because I--”

Kara’s words are cut off by the PA system with J’onn calling to the team to meet on the floor.

“Can I find you later to talk about this?” Kara asks Lucy quickly, who has a scowl on her face.

Lucy doesn’t respond as she brushes by Kara. “There’s nothing really to talk about. I’ll see you on the floor Supergirl.”

Kara throws her head back petulantly as Lucy walks down the hallway away from her again. There’s never going to be a good time for this is there?

-------------

Lucy is standing at the controls, simmering with annoyance as she keeps a close eye on the field. She and Supergirl were just beginning to have a good rapport, they would even consider one another friends. Obviously, not friends to go drinking with or shoot pool with, but friendly enough to talk.

They’ve had short conversations after a long mission before, most of them with Lucy reviewing her performance but Supergirl was always eager to learn from Lucy. Their teamwork was much more positive since their first meeting.

Even J’onn was pleased by their rapport.

Lucy even complained to Kara less about Supergirl, who was also very happy by the development or maybe relieved, which Lucy never understood.

By no means, however, were they close enough to talk about her personal life. So when Supergirl comes in wanting to talk about the truth about soulmates and Kara, Lucy is ready to step to the Kryptonian and give her a piece of her mind. Supergirl has no business in Lucy’s personal life.

“Supergirl, backup is two minutes out,” J’onn says into the comms beside Lucy.

Lucy keeps her eyes on the screens, accounting for all the assailants because there were reports of a luminous green substance lining their weapons. Just what they needed, Kryptonite toting robbers. One of them suddenly appears behind Kara and Lucy yells, “Supergirl, behind you!”

It doesn’t come quickly enough and they see a right hook to the hero’s face.

Lucy feels her head jerk to the side and hears something crack. She curses loudly at the sudden break in her nose and blood flooding her nostrils. “Shit, what the fuck was that?!” she yells without any care for decorum.

Everyone looks at Lucy in shock as she clutches her nose.

“Okay, ow ow ow, that really hurt,” Supergirl whines through the comm. “How far is back up now? Because that Kryptonite really hurt my face.”

Lucy gasps, choking on the blood that drip back to the throat. Alex is coming up beside her, shoving people aside to check on Lucy. She looks at the screen to see Supergirl standing there, blood pouring down from her nose.

“Supergirl?” Lucy stares in confusion.

J’onn smirks at Lucy.

“Sir?”

Alex redirects Lucy’s attention to get the blood flow to stop as soon as possible. “Supergirl’s nose is bleeding, you’re nose is bleeding, you do the math, Lane,” Alex huffs impatiently as she gently feels Lucy’s nose.

Lucy hisses at the pain. “Be careful would you?”

Alex hmms before using two fingers and resetting the disjointed part.

Lucy yells in pain and Supergirl also screams through the comms.

“Alex, what the hell?!” Both Supergirl and Lucy scream.

“Jesus, how she knew it was me, I don’t know,” Alex grumbles as she holds the gauze underneath Lucy’s nose to catch the blood. “Do you get it yet?”

Lucy’s attention is split between the screen and the woman before her. Everything seems to be moving so quickly that she can barely process it.

Supergirl is still complaining on the other end of the comm to J’onn until he and Alex both say, “Kara, stop complaining.”

Lucy’s eyes bulge out of her head comically and everything starts falling together. “Kara is Supergirl? She’s my soulmate?!” she exclaims.

“Uh..yeah, Major, took you long enough,” Alex quips.

“If I could get you for insubordination right now,” Lucy grumbles before it really hits her. “How come no one told me the Kryptonian superhero was my soulmate?” She then turns her attention to the comm. “You knew didn’t you? How come you didn’t tell me we were soulmates? What kind of person does that? ”

Kara visibly cringes on the screen that has J’onn suppressing a laugh. “I’m sorry?” Kara says. “I told you I wanted to come clean about this. There was just no right time and the first time we met you look like you didn’t even like me. It was really hard for me to just say, ‘Hey, I’m your Kryptonian soulmate, just in case you didn’t know.’”

Lucy listens to Kara rambling and just shakes her head. Everything feels like it falls into place as Lucy thinks back to all the time they’ve spent together. The subtle strange things Kara says or the way she dotes on Lucy to be careful. To think the time she felt imagining that there was a connection between them, only to turn around and find out there really was something, brings so much unbridled joy to Lucy.

All this time, she thought she was alone. Her soulmate was just strong enough so Lucy would never get hurt.

“Kara,” Lucy says lowly.

“Hmm?” Kara eagerly sounds to Lucy’s voice.

“Finish this and come home. You have some explaining to do,” Lucy orders with a smile on her face as Alex smiles at her.

“Lucyyy, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do,” Kara imitates proudly that makes everyone roll their eyes. “What? Was that not the reference?”

Lucy laughs. “Shut up, nerd. We’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

#superlane #kara x lucy #soulmate #soulmate au #if you get injured they get injured #angst #fluff #romance #alternate universe #everyone is gay #kara danvers #lucy lane #jimmy olsen #alex danvers #winn schott jr #maggie sawyer