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gemma-collins-ily · 2 years

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can i request some gof harry headcanons. can be about anything i just need to read something about harry there’s literally nothing for him

GOF Harry with a Knowledgeable S/O

a/n - ok ok the amount of times I changed my mind about the central headcanon idea. It went from a baker S/O to Hogsmeade with Harold to a horse rider S/O to a Slytherin S/O trying to help in tasks. Let me know if you want me to do any of these here! Might be a little short but I have some ideas ready! Xoxo ♥️❤️

Warnings: arguments, water mentions (the lake), one swear word and let me know if there's anything else!

the way I kept changing my mind-

but I've decided

bestie will immediately run to you when he's picked for the tournament

he tells Dumbledore (ugh) if there's a loophole, you'll find it

so he goes to you to ask

"Hi, hey, hello. Might need a little help because, you know, they're saying I have to compete and the effects could be disastrous and the results could be me dead and-"

You halt his panicky blurt of words by putting a hand on his upper arm, thumb gently stroking over his bicep to sooth him.

"Har, love. Logically, there has to be a way to protest it, or to make them look so bad in the public eye that they can no longer force you. Trust me, if there is any possible and plausible way to get you out of this, I will."

after hours of searching in the library that night to no avail, you tell Harry to grab his cloak

you head down to the restricted section because creepy ways to escape things are always there, right?

yeah, you don't find anything

Hermione and Ron join the search, Filch's cat distracted by tuna left out conveniently on the second floor

Harry begins to get more and more desperate, as do you, and random books - that have nothing to do with anything involved whatsoever - are pulled from shelves, dusted off and scoured for information

"Harry, I can't find a thing."

Your tone is one of dread, your heart heavy as he is practically condemned to competing, his eyes fading of hope because he knows that if you can't manage to discover a way out, there isn't one.

"I suppose the only thing we can do is prepare the best we can then."

That night is spent tossing and turning in separate beds until Harry's dorm door creaks open and you trail into his readily open arms.

when you find it's dragons for the first task, your gasping and your hand latches onto Harry's as your brow furrows

then, you shake your head profusely to clear it of the dazing fog, beginning to think of strategies

"So, Accio could work well, and convincing the dragon that whatever you need is harmful to it could be a good plan."

suddenly, you're flittering around researching, books often sprawled over your lap as you fall asleep late into the night or early into the next morning

Harry is doing much the same, his library card used for the first time in ages to borrow a huge stack of hardbacks

you wouldn't admit it to Harry, but you knew dragons could be dangerous and had previously researched the ones you had seen

because it was obvious Harry already knew the stakes

you were allowed in the tent with him for preparation and you gave him a quick peck on the cheek and a hug before leaving for the stands

A camera flash made spots dance before your eyes as Harry pulled away from you and groaned, seemingly complaining about whatever you had yet to see.

And when you swivelled to see what was behind you, your expression mirrored your boyfriend's look of exasperation.

"So, Harry Potter, I do believe you're going to be competing in just a moment, and, of course, I just had to capture that lovely moment between you and your apparent partner!"

That was the only explanation given as Rita pranced off, muttering something about how this would make a headline.

Meanwhile, Harry was too busy burying his head into your shoulder, neck aflame with pink blush.

"Just can't get a moment alone."

Another camera flash drew forth another protest from Harry, as the journalist continued to ignore him and let her pen spin her next exaggerated story.

when he froze up both you and Hermione began to yell about his wand

your hand was holding Hermione's in a death grip, one she returned

and when he decided to summon his broom you had let your head fall into your hands because you had expected him to do something like Accio the egg or float the dragon above him so that he could just take it

though you supposed the latter option would require a lot of concentration and straining

in the minutes he was flying over the castle, your foot was tapping impatiently and your heart was pounding

then, he returned and you were eager to join the crowd in their celebration

when Cedric says something about a bath, you instantly realise what he actually means but decide to let Harry decide if Ced's into him or not skjsksk-

when he returns later, grinning then spotting you sat near the fire (someone let you in if you aren't a Gryffindor???) his eyebrows raise

"You knew what it was, didn't you?"

You hummed affirmatively as he gave a look of betrayal, and then unexpectedly pounced, digging his knuckles into your sides as you laughed.

"Have mercy!"

"Never!"

When he stopped eventually, he told you of what the clue was through breathy puffs of air and gasped giggles remaining from before.

"Right then, to the library!"

After a moment's hesitation, you spoke again from your place in Harry's lap, "That sounded far too much like a superhero phrase for my liking, but we're going anyways."

Harry chuckled and took the hand you extended to him, rising and wrapping an arm around your shoulders before walking with you to the door, "Alright, my love, let's go research. Just what I wanted to do tonight!"

His false enthusiasm made you smirk while you flounced down the corridor, quite elated to be going to the library anyway.

you tell Harry you think gillyweed would work for the second task, but that it's probably good to double check with bestie Neville

then, you and Neville agree and discuss the best quantities to use and more

"English please, darling."

"Basically, we need to prepare the amount so it'll last the full hour instead of, like, twenty minutes. Just in case, you know?"

getting closer to the tournament's second task, you are both more on edge than ever, you because Harry could die, and Harry, well, because Harry could die

you try to band together, however there are a few snaps at one another

it is apologised for every time and every time the person is told it's understandable

you both accept how easy it is to argue and antagonise each other but attempt to avoid any unnecessary disagreements

"You could die! And we don't even know what the third task is yet!"

"(Y/N), Dumbledore has assured us no one is dying! Isn't the word of our headmaster enough?"

"Harry James Potter, let me tell you something, just a little secret that everyone knows apart from you... Dumbledore's promises aren't worth shit!"

And whilst your voice started off in a spiteful tone, your next sentences were tender as tears filled your eyes.

"I could lose you, and I don't know what I would do. I can't trust that my boyfriend will be okay just with a few affirmations... because I love you, Har. And I'm going to worry no matter what. You're worrying too, I can see it."

that night ended with more tears but you did make up and calm down

arguements were stemmed from concern and whomever was the provoker had good intentions but didn't know how to communicate their feelings (awkward teenage things)

though, you were still cheering for him at the second task and rushed at him when he came up to the surface

"Good to see you too, sweetheart."

"Oh my word, you must be freezing, love, I brought an extra towel because I know the exact temperature of the lake is-"

And through shivers, he interrupts, "Cold. I gathered."

and I'm so sorry but the third task, I can't-

I'm only going to do a small section because ugh I'll cry

You awaited with baited breath, grinning with ecstasy when you heard the announcer state Harry and Cedric had the cup.

You didn't know that smile would soon fade.

you support Harry through his nightmares and try to help him see it was never his fault and never would be

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pen-dipped-in-moonlight · 3 years

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Congrats on the 150 followers!

For the request thing, could you do something silly/romantic with a friendly Villain helping a worried Hero with figuring out how to use/handle their new superpowers that they got from one of Supervillain’s gadgets?

I actually struggled a bit with this, since I realized I don’t write much silly/lighthearted stuff! Hope you still enjoy, and thanks for participating!

My follower celebration is still open to requests, and the post is pinned.

Maybe the hero should have expected it. They had rushed out so many times, chasing rumors of Supervillain progressing on some plot or invention, and fought to disassemble the operation before anything terrible could happen. The hero had spent so much time skirting around hissing concoctions and machines held together with no more than a little tape, magic, and fervent wishes, that they shouldn’t have been surprised when they ended up in the wrong place at just the wrong time—and found themself engulfed in a bitter cloud of cyan-colored spray.

Three days later, the hero stood in the villain’s base, trying to control their skittering heart. The villain, too, dabbled in inventions (of the more stable sort, thankfully). If anyone could help the hero learn to control the power they had gained, it would be the villain. The villain, with their smug, knowing smiles and casual disregard for the law.

Dressed in a splattered lab coat and holding a clipboard, the villain tilted their head. “Alright. First tell me what you’ve found you can do.”

“It’s…” The hero bit their lip. “...been annoying. I stick to things, I guess. Or I can… anchor myself in place? Sometimes if I really focus I can get myself to ‘stick’ on command, but for the most part it’s a random hand or foot that just sticks whenever I don’t want it to.”

“Sticks to...”

“To whatever I want. Like in the middle of the air.” The hero laughed awkwardly. “I know that people like us bend the rules of science, but it still… really shouldn’t be possible. I once tried to jump from a ledge during a chase, but my hand got stuck and I just… dangled there.”

A smile ghosted across the villain’s lips before they narrowed their eyes. “Can you show me?”

“Um. That’s the problem. I can only harness it when my emotions are, uh, strong. It’s mostly out of my control.”

The villain twirled a pen between their fingers and smirked. “So I just have to make you really angry?”

The hero swallowed. “Something like that.”

“Hmm. Challenge accepted.” The villain tossed the clipboard aside and sauntered forward. They didn’t stop until they were standing right before the hero, just a scant foot of space between them.

The villain leaned in, close to the hero’s ear, and every muscle in the hero’s body went taut. “Your costume looks like it was made by a drunk chicken with a misguided passion for painting.”

But the hero barely registered the words, the villain’s sudden proximity sending their brain into spirals of panicky confusion. They jerked back and tried to take a step, only to find themselves thrown off balance as their leg refused to budge with them.

A firm grip on their upper arm kept them from falling. “I see what you mean,” the villain mused. “Strong emotions, you said?”

The hero looked up into the villain’s grinning face, then away. Their cheeks were burning. They yanked at their foot, which was firmly anchored in place on the floor.

“Yeah. It’s ridiculous,” the hero mumbled.

The villain slowly released their grip and considered the hero with a twinkling gaze. “Well. I can work with this. It’ll be fun.”

In time, with the villain’s help, the hero did learn to control their power. It became a useful trick to add to their repertoire.

There was only one emotion, to their dismay, that still made them trip up.

The villain didn’t seem to think it was a problem.

#rainy knights of villany #ask #my writing #requests #150 followers

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girl4music · 2 years

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BUFFY REWATCH - S06E16 - Hell’s Bells

XANDER: (voice over:) “If you were so unhappy, why didn't you just leave?”

ANYA: (voice over:) “I wanted to. I should have!”

*Pan over to a small table against a wall. Xander and Anya sit there, facing each other across the table. He is in a tux and still the same age. Anya is much older*

XANDER: “Yeah, you should have. 'Cause then maybe I would have gotten some touch in the past twenty years.”

ANYA: “I wasn't the one who stopped touching!”

XANDER: “Oh! Maybe, but you weren't touching me!”

*He jumps up angrily, begins to pace*

ANYA: “What did you expect me to do? You wouldn't come near me after Buffy-”

XANDER:

*Shouts*

“Don't bring her into this!”

ANYA: “Fine. Forget her. Maybe you were just born to be a bitter, angry old man.”

XANDER:

*Quietly, very angry*

“Shut up.”

ANYA: “No!

*Tearfully*

I want my life back! If I hadn't married you I wouldn't have had to hate myself for the last THIRTY YEARS!”

*Xander grabs a frying pan off the stove and lunges toward Anya, screaming*

XANDER: “SHUT UP!”

*As he swings the frying pan toward her face, we flash back to the present. The purple light clears away from Xander's face. Shot of the orb in the old man's hands. The light goes back into it and it stops glowing. Xander is panting, looks shocked*

OLD MAN: “I'm so sorry. I didn't want to show you.”

XANDER: “What happened? What was that?”

OLD MAN: “A glimpse of your future. Harnessed... by magic.”

XANDER: “Is she okay?

*Panicky*

Is she okay, what did I do?!”

OLD MAN: “Listen. I don't have long here. The spell that brought me back, it won't last.

*Xander still looking shell-shocked*

But you can change things. It doesn't have to go like this. But you can't marry Anya.”

XANDER: “But-”

OLD MAN: “You'll hurt her less today than you will later. Believe me. Sometimes, two people... all they bring each other... is pain.”

*Xander stares at him, horrified*

I have said before that the main themes of Season 6 are power corruption, depression and addiction. Buffy and Willow are the main focus of the season and therefore are assigned to these main themes. Buffy to depression and Willow to power corruption and addiction. Another theme in Season 6 is fear and that’s the theme the main character Xander is assigned to. Xander and his theme isn’t a focus for Season 6 but it is a prevalent side story all throughout it’s progression. And given this episode is Xander-centric, that’s what I will be talking about for this episode recap as there isn’t really much else going on in it and I very rarely talk about Xander or Anya as it is.

We learn very little about Xander and his backstory all throughout the show. He has significantly less character representation and development than his female counterparts despite also being of the core four. I believe this is partly the reason why much of the Buffyverse fandom dislikes him. Because his character arc, compared to Buffy and Willow, isn’t very well written and fleshed out. Thus, much of what we see of Xander’s characterization in the show is mostly just him being the comedic relief. For whatever reason that is lost on me for the most part, the writers decided that the dialogue comedy this character should provide is humour steeped in toxic masculinity. It is really only in this episode and ‘Restless’ that we find out the reason why Xander is the way he is as a character. Why he makes such inappropriate sexist and sometimes even misogynistic comments every now and again that really just puts him in a negative light as a character in the fandom. The reason why is because he has grew up in a very abusive household. Now while I understand that the abuse a person observes and experiences themselves from when they’re too young to understand that it’s not personally about them why they’re treated so abusively shouldn’t be an excuse for them being a dick, and that they have all the agency to be better than the people that have inflicted that abuse on them… I also understand that hurt people hurt people and how hard it is not to reflect and project the same behaviour that they’ve observed and experienced on to others. And the reason why I defend Xander’s character from the fandom that love to hate on and slander him to all hell is because he is never abusive. That really is remarkable considering all he has ever really known from the people he has known the longest is abuse. Abuse: emotionally, mentally, and possibly even physically is what Xander goes through and has gone through all throughout his life living with his parents. Xander is not anything like his father despite how much this episode shows us that he chronically fears he will be if he marries Anya.

When that old man, pretending to be Xander from the future, shows him his nightmare version of his potential married life with Anya… the first thing he thinks to do is to disappear. To get as far away from that wedding as possible. Now the relevant question is not to ask why he disappears because we already know why as he tells Anya when he returns. He believes it could be the truth. That if he marries Anya there is, to him, a very likely chance he could end up an abusive husband to her and that he could end up physically striking her the way it was depicted in the false vision of his future. Out of pure anger and hatred. No, the relevant question to ask is why his instinctive reaction is to disappear. Why is the first thing he thinks to do to run away like a scared little boy and not confront Anya and talk to her about it or to communicate with anyone at all about it? The answer is in the reason he disappears whenever he observes and experiences his parents being abusive to each other. Because he simply cannot face up to his fears, cannot communicate them to anyone, and instinctively avoids thinking about them himself. That’s the reason he doesn’t say anything to Anya or anyone in this episode, at any point when planning the wedding or even before announcing the engagement. See, it’s not just that he has fears. He has trained himself to ignore them, to distract himself from them, and to discard them. His instinct is to run away, to disappear, to hide not from just the reality of what’s happening to him, but also from the mentality of it. Because that’s what he has always done when afraid. It is routine for him. And while it has never worked to resolve anything for him, it has provided for him respite from the responsibility to resolve it. To procrastinate. He obviously knows what he should do, but he doesn’t do it because fear is too hard to face. And in this episode when this truth hits him… when he realizes that his instinct is always to run away from what scares him and from what upsets him, he turns back because he knows then that he can’t run away anymore, and that he has to face Anya and his sham of a proposal and admit to her that he was never ready to marry her in the first place. He does that because his love and respect for her is stronger than his fear. He calls it off because he wasn’t ready, not because he didn’t still want to be with her. He loves her. And he loves her enough to confront her and tell her the truth when he has actively avoided doing so the whole time.

If it wasn’t for those false visions, if it wasn’t for his instinctive reaction, he would have gone through with it. He would have married Anya. But that wasn’t the right thing to do given the way he felt and he knew that. And he also knew that it wasn’t fair to Anya to keep those feelings from her. So he called it off and left her at the altar because that was the only option left since he never had the courage to call it off earlier. But he knew he couldn’t lie to her even more and go through with it only to regret doing so afterwards. That would be much more cruel than leaving her now.

Was he in the wrong? Only in the sense that he never made it clear what he really wanted when it really mattered. When it wouldn’t have being so devastating to call it off. But he was in the right to call it off at all. And Anya - being Anya - took it as he didn’t want to get married because he didn’t want to be with her. In the next episode; ‘Entropy’, Xander tried to explain all this to Anya but she wouldn’t listen. And I’m not saying Anya didn’t have the right to shut Xander out. I’m just saying her not listening and being passive-aggressive when he was trying to explain didn’t help.

ANYA:

*Firmly*

“Do you still want to get married?”

*Close on Xander's face. He hesitates, looks unsure. Anya looks upset. Very quietly*

“Oh.”

XANDER: “Ahn, it's a very complicated question.”

ANYA:

*Getting teary*

“No, actually, it's really not. It's kind of an either-or deal. Do you want to get married?”

XANDER: “Someday, yes, very much. When we're ready.

*Anya looking very hurt*

I don't want you to take this as a bad thing. It's good.

*Anya looking resigned, annoyed*

I love you, I love you so much, I'm just trying to be honest with you.”

ANYA:

*Angry*

“Yes, honesty *now*. Congratulations, Xander, on being honest now. I wonder what the medal will say.”

XANDER:

*Confused*

“Okay, clearly I'm not handling this well.”

ANYA:

*Yelling*

“Well, duh!”

Ultimately no one was in the wrong for the way they reacted because they only reacted by way of their nature. Xander’s nature was rooted in fear. So you could argue his theme for the whole show is fear and all the complicated layers that come with feeling fear. What is ironic about Xander and Anya is the fact that they’re the most communicative couple in the whole show (yes, they are) and yet the reason why their relationship is destroyed is because they “never tell”.

youtube

#buffy the vampire slayer #hell’s bells #xander harris #nicholas brendon #anya jenkins #emma caulfield #season 6 #fear #abuse #episode recap #buffy rewatch #Youtube

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onlysarah235678 · 3 years

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A Little Bit Part 23

Pairing: Billie Dean Howard x female reader

A/N: Hi everyone 😊 This is the last part, FINALLY. Thanks to everyone who read this plot bunny that turned into this 23-chapter long fic. ALSO, as always look at this wonderful gif by illuminated-blue. Thank you for literally making all of the gifs for this story ❤️ You’re seriously the best!

Warnings: angst and vandalism. Mostly fluff??

Somehow Billie Dean does make it to your apartment in 10 minutes. She sees that there is already a police car parked out front, and she parks rather haphazardly next to it before jumping out of the car. She hurries inside and pulls her phone out to call you again. You’d hung up with her despite not wanting to because you didn’t want Billie to get into an accident trying to talk to you and drive probably 30 over the limit.

Billie walks through the front doors and sees no one behind the desk or even in front of the elevators, and she sighs in annoyance. She’s more than a little ticked when you answer the phone just as she reaches the elevators.

“Billie are you here?”

Billie looks both ways trying to track someone down, but she’s unsuccessful. She thinks about leaving and hunting down that cop but she has no idea where to start, and she doesn’t want to leave you alone for too long.

“Yes, Y/N, I’m here and so are the police.”

She hears you sigh before you mention that they got here just a few minutes ago. You had heard them talking and then they’d disappeared shortly before Billie showed up. You figure that they are checking on the elevator so you try to be patient, but you’re burning up and getting antsy. You look down at Milo who is just lying beside you, his head in your lap as you pet him absentmindedly.

“Hopefully they will figure it out soon. Do you know what floor you’re on?”

You frown as you try to remember how long you’d been moving before the elevator stopped. You hadn’t really been paying attention, but if you had to guess you were almost to the third floor. You are about to ask Billie why she wants to know, but you don’t get a chance before you hear her walking. Her heels click on the tile floor and your first thought, that luckily you don’t voice, is ‘of course she’s wearing heels’.

“Wait, where are you going?”

Billie heads toward the stairs taking them two at a time as she makes her way to the third floor.

“I’m on my way.”

You don’t say anything as you just listen to Billie almost run up the stairs. You want to tell her to slow down and that there is no rush, but your anxiety keeps you from speaking up. You sit up slightly when you hear her heading your way, and you are standing up with Milo when you hear her not just through the phone.

“Y/N?”

You sigh nearly laughing in relief as you move toward the door as quickly as possible. You get a little lightheaded from standing so fast, but you don’t even notice as you fall against the door.

“Billie?”

You hear her voice but it’s not right in front of you like you imagined, or rather hoped it would be. It is a little below you and you realize that you are almost to your floor. You drop back down to the floor because your head is hurting a little from being so stressed, hot, and panicky.

“I’m here, Y/N. Are you doing okay?”

You check the time, realizing it’s been almost half an hour since you walked into this death trap before you nod in confirmation. You reach out for Milo when he starts whining and you get him to sit next to you before responding.

“I’m okay, now. Better. Thank you for dropping everything to come save us.”

Billie is holding her phone between her shoulder and her ear as she tries to find a way to get you out. The doors, unsurprisingly, don’t budge and all Billie can see is the key hole beneath the buttons that she can’t do anything with.

“You didn’t pull me away from anything important. Did you hear where they went?”

You tell her that they were headed up to the control room but you didn’t know where that was. Billie was willing to go look for it, but you want her to stay with you, so the two of you just talk for a little bit before Billie hears people running upstairs. They are moving quickly and Billie doesn’t have time to wonder what’s going on before you’re speaking.

“What the hell is that?”

You frown as you hear what sounds like a stampede on the floor above you. You listen as they run down the hall before things go quiet again. Billie turns when she hears the doors to the stairwell slam loudly against the wall, and she mutters an ‘I’ll be right back’ before she heads in that direction. You don’t argue and you wait as Billie walks to the stairwell and opens the door. She only manages to hear the door slam on the first floor as she pushes the door open. She frowns and looks down the levels below her and just sighs. She supposes those weren’t the people she wants to find anyway.

“I don’t know who that was, Y/N, but I think--.”

Billie trails off as another door opens above her and she just stands in the stairwell waiting to see who it is this time. Billie doesn’t wait for long before a cop and someone she recognizes from the front desk appear.

You’re a little distracted by the sudden sound of tapping and more voices from downstairs. You can’t make out what they’re saying, but you hope they are here to help you. When you hear the sound of a radio beeping, you sigh in relief and grab Milo by the head and kiss his face.

You’re going to get out of here.

After a short conversation that you overheard, Billie is on her way back to you while the police heads down to let the firefighters know where you are. You are tapping your foot anxiously as you hear Billie stop in front of the elevator again.

“They’re on their way, Y/N.”

Ten minutes and a lot of creaking later, the elevator doors are open on the third floor. Unfortunately, you are not as close to it as you hoped and there is a two-maybe three-foot opening where you can see the ground. Mostly you see the tops of heads, but even seeing almost 6 people, including Billie, standing by ready to help doesn’t make you feel any better. You try to stay calm as one of the fire fighters tells you what you need to do. The elevator is not going to move on its own at this point. The police officer that went upstairs tries to reassure you of this by saying that someone busted it, which actually makes you more nervous. You don’t have time to try and figure out why before Milo starts whining and trying to get out.

You grab him quickly, not wanting him to just jump out before making sure his leash is attached. Luckily, he’s wearing his harness, so he’s less likely to fall out of it in case he doesn’t make the jump. You try not to think about that as you keep your hold on Milo while dropping his leash into waiting hands.

“Okay, Milo. Go ahead.”

You watch with an extreme amount of anxiety as Milo sticks his head out of the elevator and gets ready to jump. You want to close your eyes, but you watch as he jumps out and lands in the arms of someone, you can’t tell who. You sigh in relief as you hear his collar clinking as he shakes himself out. You hear Billie offer to take him and you take a deep breath before trying to figure out how this is going to work. You are sweaty, impatient, and you are really regretting your decision to go with the plan of jumping head first. You make the mistake of looking down not just to the three pairs of arms that are going to catch you, but down the elevator shaft. You see the distance to the ground floor and you almost throw up you’re so nervous.

“Don’t look down, Y/N.”

You glance over to Billie who’s watching nervously and you want to say that it’s too late, but you hold your tongue and brace yourself to more or less dive into some strangers’ arms.

“We’ve got you, Doc.”

You decide to trust him and you practically fall on top of them as you push yourself out of the elevator. You curse as you feel yourself fall back as you land on your feet, and you tense but luckily, you’re quickly steadied and are being moved away from the edge. You sigh in relief and exhaustion before thanking everyone in earshot and turning to your dog and girlfriend. You smile widely before reaching out to pet Milo. You don’t hold out your arms for a hug because you can smell how badly you need a shower, but Billie doesn’t seem to care.

“I probably shouldn’t hug you. I sti--.”

You are cut off as Billie pulls you into a smothering hug. Considering you already weren’t breathing well to begin with, the heat and the stress had been getting to you, you pull away far sooner than you want to. You smile at her though before turning to make sure you weren’t needed. Once you determine that you have nothing to contribute to figuring out how to fix the elevator, you and Billie head upstairs. You mutter under your breath about having to take a shower as you follow Milo out of the stairwell. You notice that he’s still panting and the first thing you are going to do when you get to your apartment is give him some water.

You don’t realize that Billie’s hold on your hand tightens until you come to a stop. You frown in confusion looking back to see that Billie’s frozen and staring at something. You turn to see what it is and you feel your stomach drop when the sight registers.

You’re only a few feet shy of your apartment, but you can clearly see that the door is already opened. The lock is busted and you feel yourself moving to open it before you can think better of it. Billie is quick to follow you, and as you push the door open to take a look inside you stop cold.

The first thing you notice is the smell. You’re not sure what it is immediately, but it’s awful and nothing like how you left it. You take a step inside, holding tighter onto Milo as you notice that there is barely a square foot of clear floor space.

As far as you can tell, your entire downstairs has been trashed, and you have no idea what to even look at first. The kitchen is a wreck, all of your dishes, food, and appliances have been thrown around haphazardly. There are stains from the food and dents in the floor and drywall from where things had been thrown and you think that you see blood on the floor before realizing that it’s ketchup. Looking to the living room, you see that your television is smashed and bits of it are all over the ground intermingled with couch stuffing. You tell Milo to sit before carefully making your way through the wreckage. You don’t notice Billie reach out for you, and she just sighs as you disappear up the stairs.

“I’ll be right back.”

Billie wants to argue, but she instead takes charge of watching Milo who is sniffing furiously. She takes a closer look at the kitchen and she sees that almost all of his food is emptied out onto the floor. It’s scattered in the corner and throughout the kitchen. Billie cringes as she steps on part of a bowl and then nearly trips over a loaf of bread. She makes her way out of the minefield that is your kitchen and heads toward the living room. The smell that she’d first noticed when walking in is stronger over here, and it only takes Billie a couple of seconds to realize what it is.

She considers going upstairs to check on you, but she hears you at the top of the stairs before she gets a chance.

“Well, I guess it wasn’t a robbery. My computer is still here. My room’s trashed though.”

Billie scowls at this watching as you stuff some things into a backpack before sighing. You’re so tired and you just wanted to shower, but there was no way in hell that was happening right now. You turn to Billie with a sigh before glancing to Milo who is still sitting by the door.

“I’ll call 911. Again.”

You aren’t sure why you’re not more upset about this. Watching three different people walk around your apartment where all of your possessions have been destroyed should make you angrier than you are. You blame this on the fact that you’re exhausted. You are stressed out again and you swear that if you don’t get to at least change clothes soon you’re going to lose it.

You had made the mistake of calling the authorities before you showered, and now you weren’t allowed to mess with anything. They needed to collect evidence and you definitely wanted them to do this quickly because the smell had only gotten worse over time.

Milo and Billie were waiting in the hallway while you answered a few questions and you couldn’t help but be antsy. You told Billie that she didn’t have to stick around, but she wanted to make sure that you weren’t alone right now. She also hadn’t really mentioned it, but you weren’t going to be staying here tonight, or anytime soon probably. You probably would end up coming back to her place. She wanted you to after everything that had happened.

“Have you gotten on anyone’s bad side recently?”

You nearly laugh at this but somehow just end up nodding in confirmation. You mention Doug and tell the truth about how awful he is to you and how he’d pushed you down the stairs. You watch as the brunette takes notes and you shake your head when you’re asked for a last name. You only know that he lives on the floor below yours, but you’re sure he can figure out all he needs from just this information alone.

“Do you know where you’re staying in the meantime? If we need to contact you?”

You stop short at this because you hadn’t really even thought of that. You were just thinking about how a lot of your clothes were ruined, your dishes that you’d brought from home were in pieces on the floor, and your very comfortable couch was destroyed. All of these things could be replaced and they weren’t even that important to you. You were just stuck on the fact that someone, probably Doug, had so thoroughly trashed your home when you honestly thought he didn’t give a shit about you. You never would have guessed that he’d go to the effort of doing something like this.

“Uh, yeah. I’ll figure it out.”

It takes another twenty minutes before you’re allowed to go up to your room and grab a few things. You don’t get much because there isn’t much that’s salvageable. You get a few outfits and a couple of other things before meeting Billie outside.

“Sorry, that took so long.”

Billie turns to shoot you an incredulous look that you miss as you’re reaching for Milo’s leash. She hands it over without argument as she follows you to the stairwell.

“Your apartment just got trashed and pissed in, Y/N. You have nothing to apologize for.”

You turn back to Billie with a surprised look and you take a second to think this through before you nod. She’s right. You aren’t sure why you’re apologizing, as usual, you’re still a little dazed by all of this.

“You’re right, I’m—I guess I’m just in shock.”

You continue walking and push the door open to the stairwell with a frown. You are just now realizing that everything you have with you is the entirety of your possessions and you have nowhere to live. You decide to think about the headache of dealing with insurance later as you hold the door open for Billie and let her go first.

Billie sighs as she runs a hand through her hair. She is exhausted from the stress of the last hour or so and she really just wants to go home have a drink and a nice long bath. However, she wants to make sure that you are taken care of first. You’ve had a rough weekend between your dad and now all of this, and she was certain you just wanted to sleep too. And shower.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to snap.”

It’s just been a long afternoon. Billie almost says this but then she realizes how it would sound. She wasn’t the one who had to experience stress and then more stress, so she really didn’t have room to complain.

You shake your head as you follow Billie down the stairs, hyperaware of the fact the fact that you are the only ones here.

“It’s okay, Billie. You probably hadn’t counted on having an exhausting Sunday either.”

Billie smiles before slowing down so she can reach out for your hand. She takes Milo’s leash, shifting it to her right so she can hold your hand with her left. She leads you out to the lobby and you look both ways before following her to the parking lot. You groan as the sun hits your face and you feel yourself warm up, again. You are dying for a shower and a change of clothes.

“I’ll just-.”

“How about-?”

You both speak up at the same time, and you laugh slightly before you take Milo back with a smile. He’s lying on the ground at your feet and that’s all you need to know that he’s tired too. You look back to Billie before nodding for her to go first. You weren’t going to say anything too interesting anyway.

“How about you come spend the night? Worry about everything else later?”

You smile because you like the way she thinks. You are very tempted to take her up on her offer, but you’ve already inconvenienced Billie today and you don’t want to continue this. You go to shake your head and claim that you’ll just get a room somewhere but she beats you to it. She can tell that you’re reluctant, but she hopes she can convince you to try and relax today. She’s afraid that you being alone with Milo in a hotel room won’t be relaxing. Not if you’re worried about Doug.

“I really don’t mind, Y/N. I love our sleepovers after all.”

Unsurprisingly you end up back at Billie’s place, and the first thing you do is get Milo some water. Then you take a shower while Billie does laundry for you, before letting Milo out in the backyard. Now that you’re clean and a little less stressed you’re beginning to realize the severity of what happened today.

You’re sitting in the backyard watching Milo wander around before lying down in the grass near Billie’s garden. You know you have to watch him closely because last time you let him do this, he tried to eat some of her flowers. You don’t hear Billie come outside immediately. You’re too busy worrying about whether or not you got enough pictures for your insurance claims to notice that Billie’s behind you. You sigh before closing your eyes and leaning back to try and relax. You weren’t supposed to be worrying about this today. It could all wait until tomorrow at least.

“Y/N, are you hungry?”

You open your eyes to see Billie standing beside you with a plate of something in her hands. You smile as you sit up to take a better look before watching as Billie sits down across from you. You don’t notice Milo getting up and making his way over to you to see what Billie’s brought.

“Always, but you didn’t have to do this.”

Billie waves you off before doing the same to Milo when he puts his feet on the chair and sniffs her food. You are quick to grab something so Billie could move away from him, and you smile gratefully before helping her out. You stand up and lead Milo inside, using your sandwich as bait before you sneak back outside and close the door.

“Be good Milo! Sit.”

He obeys with a whine before you move to sit back down in your chair. Billie watches for a moment as you eat, and she frowns when she notices how tense you are. She knows you must be exhausted and she is honestly surprised that you are still up. If she had to guess, it is worry that’s kept you awake, and Billie considers how she can help.

“What can I do for you, sweetheart?”

You turn to Billie with a smile before shaking your head. There is a lot that you want, but nothing that you can ask Billie for. She’s already been so helpful and supportive this weekend, and that’s all you want right now. You simply stand before moving to sit next to Billie once you’re done eating. You reach out for her and she’s pulling you into her lap before you can even wonder if she’d mind. You smile as you wrap your arms around her in a hug. You sigh under your breath before burying your face in Billie’s hair. Normally you could fall asleep like this with Billie’s arms wrapped around you, but you’re too stressed. There’s too much on your mind, and luckily Billie seems to realize this.

“I’m okay, Billie. I’m just glad to be relaxing with you again. That’s enough for me.”

Billie smiles before she reaches up and begins to run her fingers through your hair. You hum under your breath and her smile widens as she feels you relax on top of her. She turns when she hears Milo bark from inside, but she doesn’t do anything about him right now. She continues to stroke your hair until she realizes you are close to sleep.

She doesn’t want you to fall asleep in an uncomfortable position so despite the fact that she doesn’t want to part from you, she starts to shift which makes you stir with a tired groan.

“Hmm?”

“Let’s go inside, Y/N.”

You end up eating dinner because it is about that time and you hadn’t realized how hungry you were. You had been too stressed to notice until you nearly fell asleep beside Billie on the couch and your stomach growled embarrassingly loudly. Billie had laughed in amusement while you blushed and muttered under your breath about making a decent meal.

You were now in her kitchen taking stock of what you could make for the two of you. Billie tries to help you, but you shake your head and hurry to pour her a drink before setting it down at the counter. You shoot her a smile and a slightly pleading look when she looks like she’s about to argue, but luckily she acquiesces with little more than a sigh.

“You should relax too, Y/N. You’ve had quite a weekend.”

You smile at this before nodding in agreement. You do think that you deserve to relax which is why you are cooking dinner. You love to cook. You find the process relaxing, so you are going to take full advantage of the opportunity to make dinner for Billie. You knew that she didn’t really enjoy cooking as much as you did. She found it stressful when you did it together sometimes because she wasn’t very good, and even if you didn’t care about that, you wanted to give her the night off.

“I know, but you know me, this is relaxing.”

You smile at her and Billie sighs again before taking a sip of her wine. She knows that she can’t argue with you. At least there wouldn’t be a point.

“If you’re sure.”

Billie doesn’t expect you to respond beyond the nod that you offer her. You stop what you’re doing though and you smile a little wider at the idea of cooking for Billie like this every night. Instead of mentioning this; however, you say something less daunting that shouldn’t be a surprise to the medium at this point.

“Of course. It combines my two favorite things: food and spending time with you.”

Billie smiles at this watching as you resume cooking while humming under your breath. You seem so in your element and Billie enjoys just watching you navigate the kitchen and somehow avoid tripping over Milo who is always underfoot.

You finally kick him out and he sits next to Billie to watch as you finish up. A few minutes later you’re both at the table, but you quickly have to banish Milo to the living room because of his begging. You sigh as you watch him leave before turning back to Billie with a smile. You blush slightly at the sound Billie makes as she takes her first bite, and you look down to your own food as a distraction.

“This is wonderful, sweetheart. “

You smile appreciatively before taking a bite yourself. You had definitely been distracted while cooking, by both Billie’s presence and the events of the day, but you’re grateful that it hadn’t done too much damage.

“Thank you, Billie.”

Bit comes downstairs a little later, and you have to keep Milo from getting his face rearranged when you realize Bit isn’t in the mood for him tonight. You return to the table after wiping the fur off of you with a frown, and Billie just smiles in amusement as she watches Bit disappear under the table.

“You better behave for Y/N tomorrow, Bit.”

You smile at this before sparing a glance under the table to see Bit watching you. Her bright eyes are the only thing you could see and you look away quickly before shaking your head. You remind Billie that Bit will be under anesthesia for most of the time she’s with you, so hopefully that improved your odds of her being nice to you.

“I’m excited to see all of the kittens again. Are you still sure you want to keep just Mickey and Bit?”

You and Billie talk about the cats a little while longer, and after confirming that she hasn’t changed her mind, you and Billie figure out what tomorrow will look like. Despite staying with her tonight and seeing her in the morning, you are excited to see Billie tomorrow afternoon for her appointment. You are still thinking about this as you watch Billie clean up. You hadn’t even bothered arguing with her when she told you to sit because you knew she had the same system as you. Whoever cooked didn’t clean up.

You make sure that Milo stays out of her way by keeping him distracted. He is eager to jump up on you and you scratch his giant head with a yawn as you watch him shed all over the place. You turn at the sound of your phone going off and you glance at it briefly before grabbing it. You abandon Milo for the moment and he is definitely not happy about it, but you don’t notice as you read the message that just came in.

Billie notices your frown turn to a smile and she can’t help but wonder what the cause is. She waits until you’re done typing before she asks. She watches as you sigh in relief before returning your attention to Milo who hadn’t stopped whining since you picked up your phone.

“Good news?”

You look up at Billie who’s finished cleaning at this point, and you nod before mentioning what the email had been about.

“Yeah, it was. I heard back quicker than I thought I would, but I can get another apartment as early as this week.”

Billie frowns as she considers this, and you’re looking right at her so it’s impossible to miss. Your smile fades as Billie sighs and drops the towel in her hands. You hadn’t been expecting this reaction and you’re not sure what to make of it.

“You’re going to stay there?”

Billie wasn’t sure how you were going to manage living there again. After what had happened, she assumed you would want to find somewhere else to stay. Somewhere you wouldn’t have to be looking over your shoulder constantly for Doug or people like him that wanted to make you feel inferior. Maybe even hurt you.

You nod slowly trying to figure out where Billie is going with this, but you come up empty so you just respond with a shrug.

“Yeah, I don’t see why not.”

Billie nearly balks at this, but instead she shoots you a confused look that you completely miss as you tell Milo to sit back down.

“What about what happened today? Is that not a reason to move?”

You frown at this because you couldn’t lie, you had definitely considered it. You didn’t really like the idea of staying in a place where people like Doug knew how to find you and rattle you. That said, you were too proud to admit this so you just shake your head and give her the reason you’d decided to use instead.

“It won’t be a problem in a new place, and once Doug is gone.”

You watch as Billie shoots you a bewildered look before moving to sit next to you. She barely has the patience to pull the chair out far enough for her to sit comfortably, but she doesn’t seem to care as she turns to face you.

“Don’t you see, Y/N? If it’s not Doug who bothers you, it will be someone else. Everyone knows you live there.”

You really can’t argue with this and you don’t even bother trying. Your logic is flawed because it’s based more on your pride than actual logic and you know this. You just don’t want to give in so easily.

“What do you think I should do then Billie? Run away? No, that would be letting him win!”

Billie watches as you look to Milo who was pawing at you with a scowl and tell him to lie down before you turn back to her. Billie just sighs in defeat because she doesn’t want to fight with you, but she also wants to make sure you’re safe. She would hate for something like this to happen to you again, and she wants to be able to say that she did all she could to help you avoid it.

“It’s not about winning, Y/N. It’s about being safe.”

Billie sees you deflate at her words and she frowns as she reaches for your hand. You sigh in defeat before meeting Billie’s gaze, and if you hadn’t already decided to give in, you would have at the look on her face.

“Do you think you will feel safe living there after everything that’s happened?”

You don’t even need to respond for Billie to have her answer. You look away and grumble under your breath in annoyance. Not at Billie because she’s right, but rather at yourself for thinking that you could swallow your fear, your feelings again and not suffer any consequences for it.

You finally shake your head and admit what Billie had suspected all along. You drop her hand to run your own through your hair, and you sigh in frustration. You have a lot to do tomorrow.

“No. Not really. Even if he’s gone. There will always be other people. Regardless of if I move or not, Billie. There will always be others who pay too close attention and will find out where I’m living. If I’m unlucky enough, more people will harass me.”

You frown at the thought and you’re too busy imagining the worst to notice Billie’s look. She isn’t sure if she should bring it up, despite now being the perfect opportunity, but Billie speaks up before she can stop herself.

“You could also move in with me.”

You smile at this and find yourself laughing before you turn your attention back to Billie. You stop abruptly when you realize that she’s not smiling teasingly at you or even really smiling. She’s serious. You close your mouth only to quickly open it again as you struggle to find the words to respond. You hadn’t expected her to say this, and it wasn’t that you didn’t want to move in with Billie, you just had your reservations.

“Wait, you were being serious. I think. Were you?”

Wow. You couldn’t have sounded less put together if you tried, but luckily Billie doesn’t call you out for it. She only smiles before nodding in confirmation. She is being serious and she had been thinking about this for a while. When she says this, she notices how you stiffen slightly before scratching the back of your head awkwardly.

“Oh, okay.”

You want to kick yourself for sounding so enthusiastic. You’d honestly imagined this scenario more times than you’d care to admit, and each of them ended with you jumping into Billie’s arms or some equally enthusiastic response. Not this awkward silence that you didn’t know how to break.

Billie senses your discomfort and she’s quick to give you a way out. Both of you really because she feels her excitement at the prospect of you moving in fade with each passing second of you freaking out internally. She knew she shouldn’t have rushed you by asking now.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to.”

You panic when Billie says this and you quickly shake your head before reaching out for her. You grab her hands bringing her attention back to you and you smile earnestly as you shake your head again.

“No, Billie, it’s not that I don’t want to. I promise I love you—your uh—idea of living with you, I just am not sure if we’re ready.”

At this point you’re practically sweating as you curse yourself for letting that slip out. You hold your breath watching as Billie thinks about what you just said. She tilts her head slightly and you feel your lungs burning from the effort to not breathe when Billie finally asks you,

“Why not?”

You finally allow yourself to take a breath, but you don’t answer immediately. You already know your reasoning, but you don’t want to admit your fear to Billie. That said, you’ve already made her feel like you don’t want to move in with her, so you give up any time you were going to take to doubt yourself to tell the truth.

“I-um. I guess I’m worried that you’ll get sick of me a lot faster if I move in.”

You look at your hands which are still holding Billie’s in embarrassment, but you drop one of them as she pulls away so she can reach out for you. She tilts your head up with a hand under your chin and you can’t help but look at her as she smiles at you in a way that makes you blush.

“I don’t think I’ll get sick of you at all, sweetheart.”

You hesitate for a moment before you manage a small smile. Your face lights up at the idea of living with Billie, being with Billie all of the time. You don’t get too carried away right now because there is still a lot for you to figure out. For now, you just lean in and kiss Billie, and it’s a little messy and hurried but you couldn’t care less. You’re beaming when you pull away and take Billie’s hand in yours and squeeze it tightly.

“Are you sure about that, Billie Dean?”

Billie leans back slightly and pretends to think about your question for a moment. You frown in annoyance and start to pull your hand away, but she merely laughs and brings you back so she can kiss you again.

“Of course. I am, Y/N. You and Milo both.”

You laugh at this and move to close the distance when Billie pulls away at the last second. You’re anticipating another joke when she simply smiles at you and cups your cheek with a sigh. She kisses you once before pulling away to meet your curious gaze.

“I love the idea of living with you too, Y/N.”

You blush furiously at this and Billie can’t stop her smile from widening as you look away in embarrassment. Clearly Billie didn’t miss your slip up, and you just sigh in defeat before deciding to worry about it later. Right now, you have more important things to do.

One month later

Billie sighs as she finally arrives home after a long day of meetings. Her show had aired a few weeks ago, and so far, it was a raging success. Unfortunately, this didn’t mean her work was over, in fact it was just beginning again now that it had been confirmed that she would be shooting another season. She is excited by the prospect of traveling again in the coming months, but all she can think about right now is getting off her feet.

She opens the front door and is immediately greeted by two things that had quickly become some of her favorites since you and Milo moved in. The first thing Billie sees is Milo as he waits patiently in the foyer for her. He is sometimes accompanied by Mickey or Bit depending on the day, but tonight he’s waiting by himself, tail wagging and eager to see her as always.

Billie smiles as she reaches out to pet him before putting down her things and heading for the kitchen.

“Hi, Milo. How was your day?”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he follows Billie as she heads for the second thing she’s grown to love about living with you. Whether you were cooking or you’d just ordered out, Billie was always grateful to arrive home to the smell of dinner. After living alone for so long and always returning to an empty house, there was something so comforting about having someone waiting for her. Better yet, cooking for her since she still hadn’t learned very many things beyond your favorites. She arrives to the kitchen to see you sitting on the counter, swinging your legs back and forth as you read something on your phone. You put it down as soon as you see Billie and you move to jump off the counter and greet her, but she moves faster.

You sigh and simply wrap your arms around her with a smile before meeting her for a kiss. You had to admit that this was probably your favorite part of the day. After moving in with Billie, you quickly realized how much you loved it. It hadn’t been nearly as big of an adjustment for the two of you as you feared, and there really was nothing better than waking up next to Billie every morning.

You hadn’t brought much with you since most of it was destroyed during the break in, but you slowly started to buy more things over time. Billie managed to sneak in some things here or there, and eventually you had almost as many clothes in the closet as Billie did. You found living with her easy, and you loved having someone to come home to.

Or rather, on nights like this, having someone who loved coming home to you.

“How was your day?”

Billie sighs before muttering something about it being crazy busy under her breath. She tells you the news about her next season, and you smile widely before pulling her back in for a quick hug.

“That’s great news, Billie! Where do you get to go this time?”

Billie starts to tell you about how most of today was spent discussing potential destinations for her next season. Nothing had been decided yet, but hopefully she had at least a month until she had to start packing. You smile at this despite the fact that Billie will be gone for weeks for filming, but you decide to be happy for her now, and worry about that later. You lean in to kiss her again, but your smile fades when you hear Milo jump up and put his feet on the counter.

“Milo no! Get down!”

Milo whines before doing as he’s told and just sniffing your dinner from the floor. You sigh in defeat before looking to see what time it is. You’d gotten sidetracked cooking and you really needed to walk him. That said, you were perfectly comfortable where you were, and you really didn’t want to leave.

Billie somehow reads your mind and smiles before moving so you can jump off the counter. You frown but don’t argue before you grab your phone and hop down.

“I’ll be right back, I promise!”

Billie watches as Milo runs for his leash and you’re about to follow when she speaks up.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

When you first moved in, reporters and even a couple of Billie’s fans had hung around the house for a while. It lasted longer than either of you would have expected because of what had happened with Doug. Once news got out that your apartment had been broken into and Doug was arrested, it seemed like everyone’s interest in your relationship skyrocketed. Much to your surprise, you’d received more support than criticism, and luckily no one like Doug had bothered you since.

For this reason, you were a little braver when it came to going out on your own. After a few encounters with some of Billie’s fans, you weren’t as on edge about people harassing you. You weren’t sure how long that was going to last, but you would take what you could get for as long as you could get it.

So you shook your head before moving back so you could kiss Billie again, this time without Milo interrupting.

“It’s okay. We’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Billie nods before watching as you meet Milo at the door and get him ready for his walk. He’s bouncing in excitement by the time you get your shoes on, and he barely gives you time to throw a smile over your shoulder before he’s dragging you out the door. Billie only hears you curse as you disappear with Milo, and she smiles before shaking her head in amusement. She loves Milo and all of his many quirks, but tonight she can’t keep her mind off the food in the kitchen. She heads back to get started on setting the table, and she’s finishing up when she hears a loud bark as the door opens once again and Milo comes tearing through the house.

Billie turns to see you looking out of breath and a little annoyed at your dog, and she can’t help but laugh. She’s not sure what she missed, but she’s certain that it won’t be the last time Milo causes you trouble. For now, she’ll just have to settle on hearing about whatever managed to happen in the three minutes you both were gone. It’s not like she hasn’t experienced her fair share of Milo antics in the time you’ve been here, but sometimes she barely believes what you tell her.

You sigh as you take off your shoes and head for your dog who is still panting from his run. You roll your eyes as you take of his leash, and Billie smiles as she shoots you a questioning look.

“What did he do this time?”

You laugh before shaking your head in disbelief. You decide to wait until dinner to tell this story because your stomach is rumbling before you can even get your first word out. Billie chuckles and you blush slightly before setting Milo’s leash down.

“You’ll just have to come with us next time.”

Billie smiles before kissing the top of your head as she leads you to the kitchen. She hums in agreement before turning to watch as Milo hurries past to find some food.

“Next time.”

TAGLIST❤️: @madamevirgo, @illuminated-blue, @delias-bitch-craft, @angelxsarahp

#american horror story #ahs #ahs murder house #ahs imagine #ahs fic #billie dean howard #billie dean howard imagine #billie dean howard x reader #billie dean howard x female reader #my fic #a little bit #THE END #for now...

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writertitan · 3 years

Text

As a Bird

pairing: eren x reader

word count: 1212

themes: too much fluff tbh, just a little ficlet

In the bright afternoon sun, every bit of Eren is exposed. The tiniest crease between his brows is plain as the day that stretches beyond you, the buckles of his harness glint magnificently, the corners of his mouth are ever so slightly drawn downwards into a concentrated frown. He’s never been this quiet before, so you decide to tease him about.

“What’s the matter? Brain finally decide to give up on you?” you giggle, but your words are laced with some concern. You’d known Eren for almost a year now; he was always one to speak his mind. The fact that he’s not saying anything is simply terrifying. “Hello? Earth to Eren.”

Finally, he blinks and his expression goes back to being neutral, then turns up into a happy smile as he turns to look at you. “Sorry...I was just thinking about something.”

“I didn’t know you could form cohesive thoughts,” you smirk, which earns you a soft nudge of his elbow into your side. You snicker anyway, gently pushing him away from you again and turning your face away from him. Both of you are sitting down on a patch of grass side by side, enjoying a rare day of leisure. Everyone’s off doing something, whether it’s errands, goofing off, sleeping, or just relaxing, like you and Eren. It’s nice to have a day after such intense training, you can’t help but think to yourself. You’re basking in the thought of that, and also basking in the sun, your face lifted towards the sky as you absorb the heat.

That’s when you feel eyes on you. One eye cracking open, you turn your head slightly to see a blushing Eren, but he doesn’t look away when you catch his gaze.

“Seriously, what’s up with you today?” you ask, this time fully frowning. “Are you mad at me or something?”

“No,” he says too quickly, eyes panicky, and then he sighs and drops his head. “It’s nothing.”

You scoff but don’t pry, dramatically falling back to lay flat on you back as you view the open sky. From your point of view, you can’t see the walls. It feels like you’re free. The sky goes on and on forever and there’s nothing confining you.

“What do you think is the most freeing thing in the world?” you suddenly ask, eyes never leaving the puffs of clouds slowly passing by and shifting forms.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I dunno. I mean...what makes you feel confined? Besides these stupid walls? What do you think would make you feel free as a bird if you did it right now?”

Maybe you’re not making any sense. In truth, you are sort of rambling. Because, at this moment, you’re thinking of the very thing that would make you feel free as a bird: finally telling Eren how you feel about him.

Your feelings grew stronger every day. The constant teasing, the time spent together, the bonding over your long days and harrowing expeditions...you’d grown so close to him in just less than a year. And the way he looked at you...no one had ever looked at you like that. Eren wears his heart on his sleeve, that’s for sure, and you feel certain that he also has a soft spot for you, but there’s no telling if he feels the same way. Your heart feels confined to the cage of your ribs. All it wants, all you want, is to break free and be offered to the only boy you’ve ever felt this way about.

And you’re so lost in your thoughts that you don’t realize Eren is still silent, that little crease between his brows back again.

“Dumb question,” you whisper. “Forget that I asked.”

You close your eyes again, sighing deeply and letting your slight embarrassment wash off of you with the light of the sun. You bring your arms up to rest behind your head, taking a big breath and playing with your hair idly. You feel a little drowsy, a cat nap suddenly sounding so enticing, and you move so your arms are back at your sides and you can stretch and get comfortable, but the feeling washes away like your embarrassment does when you hear Eren shift next to you. He’s also moving to lay down, you realize, but you don’t open your eyes. It isn’t until he hums quietly that you finally look at him, noticing his position with a small smile. It’s identical to yours, eyes closed and arms at his sides with palms facing up. Your hands are playing with the grass now, plucking at the blades, and you drop a small pile of plucked grass into the open palm closest to you but he doesn’t look at you, doesn’t open his eyes. Your gaze is directed back to his hand when you see it slowly moving towards you, the slowness almost imperceptible, but you see that his fingers are crawling towards your own. You don’t move your hand. For a moment, your gaze flickers back to his face and now you see that his eyes aren’t all the way closed, just heavily lidded. He’s also looking at your hands, a blush apparent on his face, pink and rosy against tanned cheeks.

Your breath hitches when his fingers interlock with yours and then your own cheeks are hot, eyes wide as you feel him squeeze your hand.

“You make me feel free,” he finally whispers, eyes catching yours. Time stops, you swear it stops. You can’t move. All of your strength is now in your hand, it takes all of your strength to squeeze his hand back. It takes all of your courage to maintain eye contact.

“Eren…” you whisper back, biting at your lower lip.

Then, in a flash, he’s suddenly scooted over to press up against you, hands still interlocked between your bodies. His thumb strokes the back of your hand so gently, his eyes still never leaving yours. You don’t even realize your leaning in until his breath is against your lips, and you don’t think twice as you close the distance and kiss him. You’re too soft and he’s too forward, his passionate side getting the better of him. But you throw caution to the wind as well and return his eagerness, lips moving against each other earnestly.

Your free hand is in Eren’s messy hair, pulling him closer, needing him closer, but then he pulls back too soon, both of you breathless.

It takes a minute for both of you to catch your breath, but when Eren does, he’s already talking, back to the Eren you know all so well.

“That’s what I’ve been thinking about all day,” he admits, the blush springing back to add color to his cheeks. “I promised myself I’d tell you today.”

“I see,” is all you can bring yourself today.

Eren bites his lip this time, eyebrows knitting together, clearly reluctant to ask, “Do I make you feel this way?”

You can’t help but smile, because it’s just like Eren to doubt himself, and you’re already leaning in for your next kiss with him as you tell him the honest truth.

“Yeah, you make me feel this way too. Free as a bird.”

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thewatermelloncat · 4 years

Text

The Dead Follow

Summary: Written based on this prompt from Anonymous:

Klaus is at a family meeting called by Luther and he is sober but nobody knows other than Ben. So of course, the dead people occasionally say things to him so he starts to get all nervous while Ben keeps telling him to say something. The other siblings just make rude remarks saying that he’s probably high until he has a panic attack and they realize that he’s not.

Warnings: Panic attack and PROMINENT TOPIC OF ADDICTION – if either of these make you uncomfortable and/or could be triggering, please give this fic a miss.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He’d relapsed last week. One ill-advised drink had turned into more, he’d mixed some things he wasn’t proud of, and Diego had found him lying unconscious on a street corner.

No one had said much about it but Klaus knew they were all disappointed in him. He was disappointed in himself. They’d mostly been concerned he thinks. At least one of them had always stayed by his side until he gained the ability to function again.

Afterward, he’d expected a lecture but he was never given one. It seemed that his siblings had decided that all the words they could say would sound obvious so they were left unspoken. Some part of him wished they’d lectured him anyway because by them not saying anything it seemed like they didn’t trust him to listen.

Then again, he didn’t know if he would have.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

He wakes up shaky. Every limb is fuzzy and every step feels like he is pulling a ton of bricks behind him. His head is splitting in two but he knows that this is the price he has to pay as the last of the drugs leave his system.

Pulling on his long black coat more for comfort than warmth, he makes his way down to the lounge for the family meeting Luther had notified them all of days ago.

As he travels through the academy silhouettes of people brush past the outskirts of his vision, seeming to be minding their own business. Some walk alongside him until they find where they are going and break off from his path, traveling down another hallway. Others wonder aimlessly, walking back and forth through walls regardless of whether the door to the room is open.

He should have expected the ghosts to be back but he wishes they had stayed away for longer. The prospect of seeing them everywhere he turns has him itching to get his hands on the liquor bottles he eyes as he walks into the living room.

As to be expected he is the last one there and sits down on an empty couch, picking up a few odd stares from his siblings at him not saying a word. Though their conversation continues quickly and their eyes draw away from him.

“Klaus, it’s going to be okay” Ben says from the other end of the couch, having noticed Klaus’ eyes darting around.

Klaus barely spares him a glance before his eyes shift elsewhere in the room. There are more ghosts than he’d expected.

“It’s always worse when you’re getting sober” Ben reminds him calmly.

Klaus knows that he’s right. Normally he can tune most of the ghosts out but when he’s only on the brink of sobriety his powers are hard to harness and he can’t block them out. That’s what makes staying sober so hard. Sometimes he can’t make it through the difficult period without needing a fix. It’s a hard cycle, a sometimes endless –

“Klaus” Luther’s voice pulls him out of his circling thoughts. “Are you even listening?”

“Sorry, what?” he blinks slowly and shakes his head, unfolding his legs that had at some point tucked themselves into his chest.

“Nah, he wasn’t listening” Diego seems to chuckle a little.

“What was the question?” Klaus knows to ask on instinct.

“There wasn’t a question” Allison sighs in irritation. “Luther was just saying that we should go through and get rid of some of dad’s old things. Make the place more our own.”

“Sure, whatever” Klaus mumbles already fading out of the conversation. Staring off as more ghosts congregate around the room.

“That’s it?” Vanya’s voice sounds distant. “No ‘we should have a sacrificial burning ceremony?’ No requests to burn marshmallows over the bonfire?”

All living voices fade away as Klaus begins to hear the ghosts mumbling to each other as they surround his littlest brother. He can’t make out what they are saying but their murmuring tones don’t sound happy as they shuffle around Five too closely for comfort. Like they are trying swallow him with their masses, only he remains blissfully unaware because he can’t see them.

“Probably high again” Klaus’ ears prick up again at Luther’s voice, his eyes flicking over to him.

“Klaus, we know you slipped up last week but I thought you were better than this” Allison joins in.

“You promised you’d come to us” – Klaus tunes the rest of Vanya’s words out. He never remembered promising anyone anything, unless if he did it without meaning it.

Everything is getting too loud. Overlapping voices of the living and the dead. His sibling moving closer to him and the ghosts filling the spaces left behind by them.

As his eyes focus more on them, he can see the red spots of bullet wounds in their foreheads or their chests, sometimes both. They were all clean kills – merciful almost. Though none of their quick passing seems to dull their anger at their killer.

Gradually Klaus can feel his breaths getting deeper, more erratic. He’s losing control. His hands feel weak as they grapple onto anything that he can hold to ground him. The sting of his finger nails digging into his ankles as he pulls his legs close to his chest works only for a moment before he gets accustomed to the pain.

“Klaus, you have to tell them what’s wrong. They can help you” Ben advises looking at his brother being swallowed by panic.

But Klaus can’t bring himself to speak.

“I don’t think he’s high” Diego’s voice stands out to him but Allison’s snap of disagreement gets lost in the flood of voices.

He watches as his siblings’ eyes all travel to Five who straightens up like he was just asked a question.

“No, I’m with Diego on this one” his voice sounds surprisingly clear given the noise in the room. “Look at his eyes, they’re not bloodshot.”

“But he’s panicky” Luther states with his tone unsympathetic, merely factual.

While Five continues an unheard explanation, Diego picks up a cushion from a chair near by and tosses it at Klaus. Though he didn’t see it coming he catches it quickly, pulling it into his chest and curling his body around it.

“His reactions are fine” Diego’s observation works its way to disproving the high theory.

The remaining angry and disappointed expressions are wiped away. Leaving looks of confusions and concern.

“What is it, Klaus?” Luther’s voice though still commanding sounds gentle.

He only chews at his lip, too frozen to speak.

“Klaus, tell them” Ben prompts.

“Everything is so fucking loud!” Klaus suddenly bursts out, voice shaking. The words of overlapping conversations becoming too much to bear.

“Klaus, we’re not yelling at you?” Allison says calmly.

“Is it a migraine?” Vanya guesses. Already talk erupts between the group of siblings, delegations to get mum, dim the lights, find pain relief.

“No… no” Klaus can only deny weakly and shake his head. They have it all wrong.

It’s a fair few seconds before his words register and the group stops in their tracks.

“Then can you tell us what’s wrong?” Allison asks taking a step toward him. “If you didn’t take anything, what is it?”

Klaus’ chest convulses, his voice readying him to speak while his mind still argues whether to explain or continue to spiral into panic.

“It’s your fault I’m like this” Klaus finally chokes out, turning to Five.

“Me?” Five draws his head back in confusion.

“They follow you everywhere!” Klaus tells him, close to hysterics.

“Who follows me?” Five asks lowering his voice and talking slow, trying to calm him.

“All the people you’ve killed.”

Around him the room seems to sombre as if the sun faded behind the clouds. The room darkening around them.

“Klaus, I” – Five starts, taking a step toward him.

“Stay away from me” Klaus interrupts him, throwing both hands out and shrinking further backward into the couch. “Stay the fuck away!”

“Klaus, I did what I had to. The deaths of those people are on my hands not yours. It wasn’t” – Five begins again, but Klaus doesn’t relax a muscle.

“Five, just go” Allison says calmly, her hands down low in a placating manner.

Five looks conflicted as his eyes flick between Allison and Klaus. His instinct is to go to him but he has to fight against it because that’s not what his brother wants. Allison is right, Klaus needs Five out of the room.

So, after a distressed breath and a shuffle on his feet, Five walks briskly out of the lounge. Once through the doorway he turns back to look at his brother again, chewing at his lip with worry etched on his face, before he turns back and takes off running.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After Five’s footsteps fade the room stays still for a long time. For Klaus the murmur of ghosts had dissipated as they followed his brother away. Now with the room occupied only by the living, his heartbeat slows in his ears leaving the room in an eerie silence.

He looks up hearing his siblings shuffling on their feet and their hands twisting in the fabric of their clothing, they are all looking away from him. Allison seems to sense Klaus looking at her and turns back to him.

“What can we do?”

“Nothing” Klaus tells her honestly.

“Surely there’s something” she presses.

“Well, it’s not like we can kick Five out” Diego smirks humorously with no malice.

“C-can someone go check on him?” Klaus asks. Having his brother alone after all he said doesn’t sit right with him.

“I’ll go” Diego volunteers, his smirk dropping as he jogs out of the room.

“Klaus, there has to be something” Allison repeats in disbelief. Not accepting that there is nothing that can help him.

“There’s nothing you can do” Klaus assures her. “It’s my fault anyway, I shouldn’t have relapsed. It’s always worse after that.”

“I shouldn’t have accused you of being high again” –

“We” Allison interjects between Luther’s apology.

“We should have asked if you’d taken anything before jumping to conclusions.”

“Taken anything…” Vanya suddenly repeats to herself.

At her quiet voice everyone looks over to her staring at the floor in consideration, her hands clasped in front of her as she thinks.

“I think I have an idea” she says looking back up and speaking clearer. “The pills that dad gave me dulled my powers, maybe they can do the same for yours.”

“Vanya, we still need his powers. Just like we need yours” Allison cuts in.

“I know, but just for days like this when they get too much.”

“They’re pills” Luther points out bluntly.

“I never got addicted to them.”

“I’m sorry Vanya, but you don’t have a history with addiction” Klaus reminds her.

“You’re right, I don’t” she agrees. “But we can give mum some to analyse. She’ll be able to tell us whether it will be safe or not.”

It still feels wrong and Klaus looks over to Ben nervously.

Even before he speaks Klaus can already read the look of consideration on his face. “Mum will be able to tell if it’s safe. No one will make you take anything you don’t want to.”

Externally Klaus relaxes. He can’t deny that he has been waiting for a way out of his powers for a long time, away from the drugs and the alcohol. Though internally nerves still course through his veins. Whether because he’s afraid of a new addiction or that he’s afraid it won’t work, he isn’t sure.

“Do you really think it will work?” Klaus looks up at Vanya.

She can see desperation in his eyes and her lips purse into an encouraging smile. “We’ll see” she says gently before repeating, “we’ll see.”

#tua #umbrella academy #umbrella academy fanfiction #the seancé #klaus hargreeves #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #whump

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lives-by-moonlight · 3 years

Note

Maverick: would you ever want to fully train someone to be your sex slave? If so what would you do?

((oh definitely a fantasy that he has, and in a more dark au verse he definitely fulfills regularly and not often consentually if anyone is ever interested in that but this is regular Maverick's plan below and yes it's detailed because he knows what he wants - which is training but also with some caring)) "I would only if the partner was interested in it. I've had relationships where there was a definite sex slave roleplay and master-slave relationship, but I'd definitely do it for someone willing to. I've always been more of the way of training as a mix of what I want and a 'breaking' the subject more into submission through their own overpleasure and psychological effects. I know it's not really breaking if they are willing to do it, but it gets them more into a long-term, submissive mind and one that is also very easily mailable for training.

"Most of it at the start wouldn't last forever, it's just to train them into the mindset longterm. I'd first start with the rules of the slave is naked at all times unless I give them clothes to wear for an outing or for around the house for certain things, like sweaters if they are too cold. There is a strong power dynamic of you being dressed and the submissive being bare. The immediate next thing is to collar them - to me this doesn't make a difference what the collar is to me whether leather, more design, or metal because I like using what affects the submissive the most because when it makes them more submissive, I find it even more sexy. Next would be gagging them and this might differ between either a ball gag or a muzzle harness based on what I think the first training would need for the slave. A ball gag is more humiliation and making the slave realize their loss of control by the constant drooling, while the muzzle gives the slave the quick knowledge that their mouth is basically non-existent. Either way, the idea is that you have no more words, just sounds. Once I thought that the training was complete, or at least it was no longer needed, then the slave wouldn't be gagged anymore but for the training they would stay mostly gagged. As well once the training was further along, to further their mouth training I would begin to use a pecker gag as well.

((note some of this would change in the dark au to be well...darker but this is based on regular Maverick)) "They would also spend the first few days in constant pleasure with minimal breaks. They would always be collared, gagged, bound, and blindfolded with no way to escape what is being used upon them. They would be tied down to something like a sybian machine or a vibrator out in the living room or in my bedroom and would be left there for hours for continuous orgasms while they would hear me doing regular household things as though you weren't there. At first they wouldn't need to ask for permission to cum. I want them fully into their own body and mind for the first little bit as a way to break them. I would stop after a few hours and either let them break or rest, time depending on how worn out I thought they were. I would pet their hair, stroke their cheek, give them affection and praise about how well they were doing after hours of no physical and human contact. Then I would have them go at it again for a long period. Again, gags for this would change based on levels of training and what I wanted the slave to understand about the control. They would also be plugged (sometimes for men depending on the training I give them), all of this as a way to show I control their bodies. If I knew the slave would like it I might also add things like clamps.

"The next stages after this would be to start the specifics training. So no longer being vibed all day but now learning to be vibed in certain positions, such as making their back curved while on their hands and knees so they know the position and get used to it. Another would be keeping them on their knees but beginning oral training. However, all of that kind of training is with dildos so far. I never have sex or use my partner with my body yet. I want this to be a build up, for them to realize they want to strive for it because while the dildos and mechanics are hot and they like it for more submissive plays, they will realize they want me and I use it as a type of reward. Is this sounding narcissistic, yes, however after days of only being pleasured by metal or dildos, the slave is much more willing for something real and human and once they realize it they and I both know the training is heavily succeeding. "By the time this next stage of training starts, the slave will still be collared, bound, and gagged, and likely plugged, but by now the blind fold will likely come off. It will also be this time I often have them in the main room, sometimes not even pleasured, just bound and gagged and tied to one spot while they watch me go about their day as though they weren't even there. No matter how much they tried to make noise, I'm not giving them the satisfaction. This is something I would probably regularly do once training is over too just because I find slaves often like it and it gets them more horny for when sex does come. "Right near the end I would also do long-term pleasure bondage but now they have to ask if they can cum even through the gag. And I would phrase this as "if you want my cock, you're going to have to prove to me that you can follow orders." I tell them that I'll let them cum a certain amount of times, however if they cum before I give them permission then they have to start from 0 again until they get up to the number I gave. Usually this doesn't take long before the slave is able to control themselves to get to the number each time without having to start over, but that's when I know the training for that command is done. "After when I thought they would have enough training, I would then ask them this simple question and I would know when they are done if I can see it in their eyes. I just kneel down and go to their eye level and ask "do you want your Master's cock". And I'd know just by their eyes and how they beg. "That's when the training with sex begins. The first two or three times I'll still have the slave completely tied down and gagged as a way to show dominance, but after a while I will lessen the bonds, I might even take the gag away. I may use things like bullet vibrators for extra stimulation but from now on it's about us connecting on a sexual master slave level. I would also start to train them on positions in bed, or get them used to having sex in different places around the house.

"After this, training really loosens and it's more also getting into the regular and casual slave and master dynamic. I still might have times where they are just bound in the center of the room, or training them by stimulating them like a sybian while using a ring or plug gag for them to also learn how to pleasure me whenever I please while they are on it. But this is the time when the sexual breaking weens out and it's more letting the slave now walk instead of crawl around the apartment, they are no longer gagged, and I might start giving them routines they need to follow like general easy housework, cooking, sometimes just letting them lounge around like a pet while I watch tv or do work.

((again, in a dark au this would be different)) "It should also be pointed out that during this time I would give the slave regular meals and water breaks to make sure they are safe and won't get hurt. I would ungag them for this, for a rest from training I might have them either eat on the devices or let them crawl to a more comfortable spot and eat there. If that means we eat together on the couch or the rug I'm there too. Our bedtime routine is brushing teeth, hair, showering or baths, and we would sleep together. Since the slave has been blindfolded in the early days, if that is what he or she wishes during this time I also ablige because after long pleasure stimulation, outside stimulation and lights can make the slave feel more panicky, so the dark is their safe space to help them get used to stimuli again. If this is the case, I also make sure to work off non-blindfolded training so the slave still feels safe. I gage their responses to the trainign on how far it goes so it is still safe for them. "Once the training is complete it's mostly now just giving out rules and helping to establish connection in the new dynamic. Mine are mostly basic, such as no clothes and no leaving the apartment without my permission. I'd give them some chores they are assigned to do regularly, like unloading and reloading dishwasher, making sure the kitchen and general apartment is clean by dusting and putting things away, and making the bed. I may also give them assignments for cooking meals, though I would slowly ease into this as I often find cooking to be a great connecting activity, but also to teach them how to do it if I wanted say supper done and on the table by the time I get home. "At this time I also begin setting them up so they know what is expected from them when I leave during the day (or even if I'm there sometimes). Since I am gone most evenings for work, that may mean I am out late and therefore the slave may either be told to wait for me or go to bed - but be warned I may still want something in the middle of the night. That said, I never give the slave a time to wake up if I leave early. He or she is always allowed to sleep in if we do not wake up together. But when I am gone I will give them the routine that they should expect me to tell them what to do, or that I will do it for them. These will come in these main four ways: "1: I give them a list of chores that must be completed before I come back. I may also put in what I want for meals. 2: I give them sexual tasks they must complete. Such as, I might have a dildo set up in a room by the mirror and tell them they must practice until they can get the entire dildo in without gagging and then send me a video of it. It could also be having them fuck themselves on the dildo until they cum every hour and again send me videos or photos so I know they are following through. Or I will tell them they have to do chores with a vibrator on or with gear on. Those two ways are likely to be the most used besides number 4, which I will get to. 3: I tie them down and they have to be bound for the day, or pleasured all day while I control it remotely like being bound on a vibrator all day but I control it from my office. They are not allowed freedom until I get back. 4 is my last one, and often common to at least once a week, but it's where they have the day free for themselves. This can mean watching a tv show or movie ,such as if they are done chores or while cooking from choice 1, just lounging around the house or having extra naps or a long bath or some reading, something that is their day to enjoy. ((I know this is long we are almost done I swear!))

"I'd also set up a Low Outing and a High Outing. So this would be for just going out whether on a date, shopping, to a friend's house, etc. A Low Outing means that our dynamic is a bit more casual while High Outing means more strict. For example, when asking to go to the bathroom a Low Outing can be them saying "I have to go to the bathroom" as a directive to me while seeming to be normal while I go "okay". A High Outing is "Master please let me go to the washroom". Another difference would be that a Low Outing they can talk freely and interact as they want and are comfortable with while High Outing means that they are either quiet unless given directives or are given the clear by me to answer even just a question from another person. Either way, for any outing the slave will also wear either a necklace, often for a girl, or a bracelet, often for a boy, that acts as a collar in a more subtle way. Again, all of this as a dynamic of Master and Slave even while out.

"Punishments will often come as need to be taught. If the slave is a brat slave, then it comes out more often or even during the first phases of training, while for more subserviant slaves it's more as a teaching tool while still punishing them. Punishments may also change from doing more cleaning, being gagged and partially bound for a certain time, orgasm denial, or things like spankings. Again, all relative to the slave and what I want them to learn or reassert I'm in control. "If the slave is also into a big praise kink I also definitely always verbally give praise but I also might set up a points system or like a pebbles in a jar system. Where after they do something good they will get points or pebbles in a jar and once they fill the jar or get to a certain amount of points then they get a reward. This could be things like going on a date, reading in bed, doing something they want in bed, ordering in take-out, going shopping, getting some new clothes to wear when we go out, etc. "Other than that, the rest of it is just relationship things. Like cooking together, watching movies together, going out on dates or events, cuddling, sometimes even just regular soft sex, just now we also have that undertone to it. Hope this helped!"

#omfg this is so long XD #if I lose this trying to post this it may just be my 13th reason #this literally took hours god Maverick why are you so planned out #get to know maverick

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descendantofthesparrow · 4 years

Text

Harry Hook x reader - regret

anon request

If requests are open, could you do some kind of writing about how Harry would react to Ireader saying she’s pregnant, how he would be throughout the pregnancy and birth, and how he’d act when first holding his baby, you can choose the gender. Could you make it angsty to the max with a fluff overload at the end? You as your worms are amazing!! Hi, same person with the pregnant reader. Could you start their relationship out as him ‘graciously’ (he just wants to kiss her) teaching her how to kiss? And i meant to say your works are amazing too, along with you yourself. Okay, that’s all I’m gonna ask you, sorry if this is bothering you.

“never have I ever been…kissed” most of the group laughed, taking a drink, all except you. Uma turned raising her brow “(y/n)?”

You gave a shy smile, shrugging “I've never been kissed” you didn’t notice gil wiggling his brows at harry, who turned red.

You sighed, looking at the clock on the wall and standing. “its late, im going to go to bed, night”

“night” the crew called after you, you sighed as you walked to your room, stepping out onto the main deck of the lost revenge.

You stopped, looking towards Auradon, the shine from the lights making you feel sick.

“so ye have never been kissed eh?” you turned slightly, harry stepping out from the darkness of the lower-deck, you shrugged.

“no ones ever expressed interest in doing so” you muttered, leaning on the rails. Harry felt his chest clench, you sounded so sad.

He had to fix it.

“well,” he grinned, walking over and leaning next to you “I could teach ye? So when someone does want ta kiss ye they’re not disappointed?”

You made a face, slightly offended, turning to harry and glaring at him “what is that supposed to mean?!” Harry's flirty grin dropped, his brows furrowing.

“wait no that no-“ you huffed, turning to walk away when Harry's arm reached out and grabbed your arm, turning you around to face him.

“that wasn’t-I didn’t mean- fuck im sorry” you kept your glare and crossed your arms. “I wanted to-wanted ta….fuck can I kiss ye?”

Your eyes widened and your shoulders dropped, tilting your head as your face heated up “wh-what?”

“can” Harry took your hands in his, shyly biting his lip “can I kiss ye?” you blushed, slowly nodding. Harry grinned, pulling you in and pressing his lips to yours.

Your heart fluttered, your eyes closing and your arms wrapping around his neck as he wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up.

“wanna take this into meh room?” you gasped and nodded, harry carrying you into his room.

And that’s how you two got together, and now, two and a half years later you stared at the little pink and white stick, with two lines staring back at you.

You were pregnant.

And you were terrified of how Harry would react, yet so happy to know that within you was a perfect mix of you and harry.

God, you hoped harry would be as excited as you were

“yeh have ta get rid of it” your heart shattered, tears burning at your eyes as you watched harry pace the room, the little pink stick in his hands, cracking from his grip. “w-what?” your voice shook, flinching as harry whipped around to face you.

“you have to get rid of it!” he yelled “the isle is not a place for kids and frankly I don’t want one of those gremlins, this place is full of them already!”

You took a step back, carefully watching his arms and hands, your own going to cover your stomach.

“but-but”

“BUT NOTHING” harry snarled, chucking the stick at the wall, it shattered at the impact, you squeaked in fear, back hitting the wall. “I DON’T WANT THE DAMN THING AND IF YOU DON’T GET RID OF IT I WILL!”

You saw his eyes look towards his hook and you stood and bolted out of his room, sobbing as you raced off the deck and ran as far as you could, missing Uma calling out to you.

Uma watched as your form became smaller, she snarled, turning to see harry, hook in hand, staring off in the distance.

“WHAT!” Uma snarled, storming up to harry and pulling him down to her height “THE FUCK DID YOU DO!” harry huffed, pushing umas hand off his shirt.

“shes pregnant and I told ‘er to get rid of it” umas face dropped and paled...

“YOU DID FUCKING WHAT?!” harry jumped, frowning in concern when he saw just how horrified uma was.

“wha-what's wrong?”

“you-“ Uma muttered, stating yo pace around the deck, holding her head in her hands “you really are fucking- you really don’t know- my god you fucking idiot”

“uma” harry interrupted her “what are ye talking about?”

“YOU BASICALLY TOLD HER TO KILL HERSELF YOU DOLT!” harry turned white, his eyes seeming to shrink in shock “wha-what-ah!”

Uma stomped up to him and harshly poked him in the chest. “DON’T YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT THE ABORTION TECHNIQUES HERE ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS?! ITS SAFER FOR HER TO CARRY THE BABY FULL TERM OR HAVE A MISCARRIAGE THAN TO ABORT IT, WE DON’T HAVE ANY REAL MEDICAL TOOLS REMEMBER?! IT WOULD KILL HER FROM AN INFECTION OR BLOODLOSS!!!”

Harry sunk to the floor, tears burning at his eyes, and….he had threatened his love to do it himself, his shaky hand released his hook, the metal clanging as it hit the floor.

“NOW SO HELP ME HADES IF YOU DON’T FIND HER AND APOLOGIZE I WILL JAM MY FIST, ALL DICK AND BALLS UP YOUR SCROTUM!”

Harry shakily got to his feet, wiping the still dripping tears from his cheeks, nodding to his captain.

“yeah, im-im sorry cap’n” uma growled, and he flinched from the roar of waves crashing against the ship.

“you better be, now bring her back, I would hate to be down a quartermaster AND a first mate.” Uma turned in a flourish, her hair whipping around behind her.

Harry glanced at his hook, deciding to put it back in his room, he didn’t want to make (y/n) think he was actually going to do it himself.

A few minutes later, he rushed off into the settling smog of the isle, his classic red jacket in his hands, he needed to find (y/n) and fast, who knows what would happen to her…to them while out on the cold isle night.

Your chest hurt, it hurt so bad, you could feel your heartbreaking, you could understand why Harry didn’t want a kid, the isle was no place for one, even if there were already over a hundred on here already.

But the way he had said it….god you just wanted to hide away from him forever, you had never seen him so angry, so…cruel…he was truly like his father.

You didn’t hear footsteps draw near, didn’t bother to notice someone near you till a heavy coat draped over your shoulders. You gasped, covering your midsection, looking up to see sad ocean blue eyes.

“im so sorry” Harry's voice cracked, he fell to his knees in front of you, bowing his head to his chest, making his self smaller. “im so sorry, I shouldn’t have said any of those things, im sor-“ he sobbed, reaching out slightly to press his hand on your waist “im so sorry, I can't lose yeh, im so sorry”

You rubbed your snotty nose on your sleeve, leaning forward into Harry's arms, who sobbed and held on to you tightly.

“i-“ you croaked “I understand why you don’t want kids it's just…harry it would kill both of us in the process to well..you know?” harry sniffed, pulling back slightly and nodding.

“Im sorry, im such an idiot, I should know about this shit, when I have two sisters, I was ignorant and im sorry, forgive me?”

You sniffed, wiping off your tears and snot, giving a shy nod “yes, but never do that again hook, first and final warning”

Harry sagged in relief, wrapping his arms around you and holding you to his chest.

“thank yeh lassie, I promise, ill take care of both of yeh to the best of my ability”

Facilier had kicked him out, apparently, he was too “panicky” to be in the room with (y/n), apparently, he would only stress out (y/n) more!

But now he was even MORE panicky!!!!! And now he had Gil holding him down, preventing him from bursting back into the room.

Docter's orders.

Two hours later, Uma opened the door with Facilier walking out. She smiled and gestured for Harry to come in, holding a finger in front of her mouth.

Harry walked in silently, tears streaming down his face as he caught sight of his daughter.

Pale pink cheeks, a tuff of (h/c) hair on her little head, tiny hands gripping her mother's shirt.

“Harry” (y/n) whispered, her face shining with pride (and a little sweat) “come here, someone wants to meet you~” Harry gave a shaky nod, his hands trembling.

“shes so” his voice cracked, a grin splitting on his face “so beautiful~” he reached toward her, hesitating a bit, gasping when the little babe opened her, eyes ocean blue- just like his, and giggled, reaching out from under her little red blanket and grasping onto his finger.

Harry let out a sob, collapsing to the floor, a look of pure awe on his face, staring at the little angel.

Why did he ever want to hurt her?

“what are we gonna name her?” you whispered, staring at Harry as he cooed at your daughter. It was soo different than 8 months ago when he wanted you to abort the little one.

But luckily for you, by the time you were due, you had long been in Auradon.

“Emma” Harry whispered, leaning forward to nuzzle the babe's squishy face. “Emma Swan Hook”

You beamed, laughing as “Emma” began to giggle as her father kissed her face. “for your mom? It's perfect, welcome to the world little Emma~”

You carefully lifted her, leaning forward and pushing her into Harry's chest, who quickly wrapped his arms around her, her head in the crook of his arm.

“mind her head, there you go” you whispered, smiling as Harry let out another sob.

“God I love ‘er” he whimpered, lifting her slightly and lowering his head, pressing his forehead to hers. “I love ‘er I love ‘er”

“and she loves you, I can tell” you smiled, watching as Emma laughed and reached up to harry, placing her hands on his cheeks.

“and I love you (y/n)” harry stood from the floor, sitting down on the bed next to you. “so much”

“I love you too har” you muttered, sleep overtaking you. You passed out on Harry's shoulder, smiling as Harry's coos and emmas laughter faded in the background.

---the end~---

perm taglist

@mockeryhamato

#Descendents #descendants #disney descendants #harry hook #harry hook descendants #harry hook x reader #harry hook imagine #daddy harry hook #emma swan is harrys mom no one can change my mind

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1heartsickfics · 4 years

Text

Best Friend Ever

This is an idea I got from a video I saw. I’ve been meaning to write it for a couple weeks but it hasn’t happened. It also took me forever to decide who to write it about. I knew I wanted the sickee to be Zayn but I wanted to do a friend fic and I couldn’t decide who I wanted to put with him as the caretaker. Anyway, here it is!

“You ready for this man?” Zayn asked, nudging Julius with his elbow as they were strapped into the slingshot ride he’d been talked into doing. For as frail and panicky as Julius was he sure was an adrenaline junky, which always surprised everyone.

“Yeah dude, this is gonna be awesome!” Julius said.

Although it had taken a little convincing, Zayn had decided he was pretty excited about this. He enjoyed being up high and was a bit of a thrill person himself, although less so than Julius was.

“You two ready to go?” the guy who’d strapped them in asked, heading back down to the control booth. “Once it starts you can’t get off so I need a verbal yes from both of you.”

“Yes!” Julius laughed.

“Yes,” Zayn agreed.

“Alright, you’ll hear a whirring sound and then it’ll be about five seconds before you shoot out,” the guy hollered at us as he descended the stairs.

Sure enough there was a whirring sound. Zayn and Julius looked at each other, a mix of excitement and fear in both of their eyes. And then the contraption shot up into the sky, air whizzing past them and making their hair fly back and and their breath catch.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!” Julius yelled into the wind, laughing almost hysterically while Zayn just screamed his ass off. Hey, everyone has a different reaction to theme park rides.

Eventually they reached the peak and started to fall back down, which was somehow even worse. Zayn felt like his stomach was still at the top, hundreds of feet above them. He swallowed hard as they shot upwards again.

“OH SHIT!” Julius was busy yelling curse words beside him, his reaction to the thrill apparently.

After the first few bounces, they started to slow down a little bit, which was when Zayn realized that his stomach was flipping inside of him, making him feel nauseous. His mouth started to water.

“YOU OKAY?” Julius asked, yelling to be heard over the air rushing past them as they flew through the sky.

“I might puke,” Zayn said, staring straight forwards.

“What?” Julius asked, quiet than before. “You feeling sick?”

Zayn nodded miserably, clamping his mouth shut as the nausea grew.

“Shit, just hold on okay? We’ll be back down soon I think so just try to wait until it’s over,” Julius panted, out of breath from the exhilaration and all of the shouting he’d done.

Zayn nodded again, although he was pretty sure he couldn’t wait until they got back down. They reached the end of the rope again, bouncing to rebound back towards the ground. Both boys were jarred forwards, making Zayn’s stomach press harshly against the harness, which forced a wet belch up. He fought back a gag, clamping a hand over his mouth.

“Oh fuck, you’re about to puke aren’t you?” Julius gasped as they bounced up and down, slowing.

Zayn closed his eyes, tipping his head back and attempting to breathe through his nose. He wanted off of this damn ride. Right. Now.

“Hey, just breathe dude, you’re alright. We’ll be off in a minute,” Julius said softly, grabbing Zayn’s hand to give him something to squeeze.

Zayn gripped his hand tightly, his other hand still clamped over his mouth.

One last bounce was what it took to push Zayn’s stomach over the edge. He pitched forwards as much as he could within the harness, bringing up the contents of his stomach all down his shirt and his lap, some splashing onto Julius’ pants and arm.

“Oh shit!” Julius gasped. Zayn squeezed his hand harder as he gagged again, vomit spilling over both of them again. “Alright, you’re okay Z, let it out,” Julius sighed.

“Oh man, that sucks. Don’t worry, it happens a lot dude,” the technician guy appeared at the top of the stairs to dock them back in so they could get out. He moved to get Julius’ harness so he could get out but Julius shook his head.

“Get him out first, he needs off this thing,” Julius insisted.

Zayn retched again, this time projectile vomiting across the platform and on both of their shoes.

“I’m afraid to get in the splash zone,” the guy cringed, wincing in disgust.

“Alright fine get me out and I’ll get him,” Julius said, removing his vomit covered hand from Zayn’s, trying not to think about it.

“J-Jules,” Zayn coughed, sounding absolutely pitiful.

“Just a second Z, we’ll get you out here real quick,” Julius said as the guy removed his harness.

He quickly got up and pulled the straps and harness off of Zayn, praying he could wait a few more moments to be sick again. “Come here buddy,” he said, grabbing him by the cleaner arm and hauling him up out of the seat to drag him off the contraption and onto the platform.

“J-Jules,” Zayn’s voice wavered, one hand over his mouth, the other clutching his stomach as Julius dragged him quickly down the stairs by his elbow.

“Just hold on,” he said urgently, pulling him as fast as he could, navigating through the crowd that was gathered in line at the bottom and over to the bench where Tayden and Andrew were waiting. “Oh shit,” he muttered to himself. Tayden. He hadn’t thought this through.

“Drew!” he yelled, just as Zayn started gagging into his hand. The poor kid was fighting it so hard.

The pair looked up at them, eyes widening as they quickly realized what was going on. Drew got up, running over to stand on Zayn’s other side, one arm wrapped around his waist, the other comfortingly on his shoulder.

“Tay, cover your ears and turn around,” I said, which he did, just in time for Zayn to pitch forwards, coughing up another wave of vomit onto the ground. I heard Tayden whimper, looking up to see him start shaking. He wanted nothing more than to go comfort his boyfriend, but he was covered in vomit himself.

“Will you go sit with him please? I’ll stay with Zayn,” Julius said, wrapping his arm more tightly around Zayn to hold him up.

Anddrew nodded, quickly moving to sit beside the crying boy on the bench. He wrapped an arm around Tayden, rubbing a hand up and down Tayden’s arms as he shook. He had a hand pressed to each ear, eyes squeezed shut tight, breath coming out in quick puffs.

“You’re okay. Zayn just got a little shook up from the ride, he’s okay. He’s done now. You’re okay,” Andrew leaned close so Tayden could hear him and focus on his voice. Eventually, he managed to coax him into removing his hands from his ears and opening his eyes.

Julius had helped Zayn over to the bench and sat him down on the opposite end, sitting himself between them to get as much distance between Zayn and Tayden, since he knew that would freak him out.

“I think it’s time to head home,” Julius said.

“Agreed,” Andrew laughed.

“I’ve got an extra shirt in the car he can change into when we get there, and maybe we can use some napkins and water bottles to get cleaned up,” Julius suggested.

“J-Juli? Tayden asked, looking over at him.

“I know sweetie, I’m sorry. I’m covered in sick though, I don’t want to scare you even more. Just stay with Andrew until we get back to the car and get cleaned up okay” Julius said, his heart breaking for his poor boy. He should’ve just let Zayn finish being sick near the ride. He really hadn’t thought this through.

“Let’s get out of here,” Andrew said, helping Tayden up, as Julius did the same for Zayn. The boys began to trudge their way to the exit, all of them silently wishing they’d decided to go to the beach today instead.

#emeto #motion sickness #illness #vomiting #tw vomit #vomit trigger warning #nausea #emeotphilia #emetophobia #sick zayn #caretaker julius #caretaker andrew #tayden #comfort #fluff #sickfic

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orbitariums · 5 years

Note

I have a request: Peter Parker finding out his gf (y/n) is an avenger? Maybe he doesn't realize until a certain fight? Thank you, and I hope you are having a great day! - first ask anon (I guess I'll just call myself that 🤣🤣)

hi !! yes welcome back first ask anon and thank you so much for this request i’ve had the loveliest time writing it (s/o to my friend emily for helping me w/ some details bc i’m still new to marvel). hope you enjoy!! heads up this is like super long for a tumblr one shot *at least i think so*, if you guys request me stuff be prepared for it to be longgg!

disclaimer: fighting scenes are not my strength, especially for a marvel character!!! hope the plot makes up for it. also i pretty much just made up a villain and a fight. + switches between she/you when peter is first seeing the reader. ++ inspired by teen titans and kill la kill! contains: slight language + violence of course. hope u love it!

violet blast and spiderman (pt. i)

Spiderman was good. This guy was better.

Terrified bystanders and entrapped citizens watched in the crowded street as Peter tried desperately to simultaneously protect the woman he’d saved and fight off the bad guy. But doing both at once was wearing him out and his mind couldn’t help but keep going back to the fact that he had made no progress with his math project back at home because he kept delaying it to adhere to the role of friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

Plus he had a date with you later that weekend that he was stressing about because he wanted everything to go perfectly. But he kept up, and kept up with his banter all the while, just barely dodging the bad guy’s grotesque metal fist as he rolled underneath him and tried to shoot a web at him from behind and flip him over.

“You know, you really should invest all this energy into being less of an asshole!” Peter yelled out, rolling to his side to avoid being smashed again.

This guy was like the Hulk, except he had the robotic, armored qualities of Iron Man, if Iron Man looked like a giant made out of concrete with glaring red eyes and a deformed metal hand that was not doing Peter any favors.

“Concrete Man!” the beast roared, swiveling around to face Peter who looked like an ant from where he was standing.

“Really, Concrete Man, that’s your name? Yeah, Iron Man called, he wants his trademark ba-” Peter’s voice got carried away as he found himself getting swooped up by “Concrete Man”, his body slowly getting crushed in his metallic grasp.

Peter’s breath became shallow as he tried to escape, looking down at the people below him who were now crowding closer, screaming in terror. He tried to find the woman in the crowd, at least to tell her to run away to safety now that Concrete Man was distracted, but he only caught a glimpse of her, and she was staring up in transfixed terror as well.

“Shit!” Peter exclaimed, growing panicky.

He tried to outstretch his arms in the hopes to web this guy’s face and get it in his eyes so he’d at least let go of Peter, but to no avail. Peter let out a panicked gasp but calmed down when he realized he could still stretch out his feet against Concrete Man’s body, and so he pressed his feet against his bulky build and pushed off, extending his arms over Concrete Man’s hand so he could flip off.

He knew that when he did he’d be awaiting a hard pummel to the ground, but he did so anyway, flying through the air momentarily before finding his landing midair and sticking it. He tried to maintain his heavy breaths as he continued to fight against Concrete Man, sticking out his hand in the attempts to catch his legs in a spiral and make him fall to the ground, and then go off from there.

But before the web could even shoot, he was shoved aside by another figure, a girl about the same height as him, a little taller even.

“Move Peter,” you said hostilely, shoving him aside and standing your ground in front of him.

Peter had to do a double take to make sure he was seeing correctly, and to make sure he had heard correctly as well. Whoever this was had said his name, so that meant she knew who he was somehow. But he had never seen her before in his life, so who could it be? His heart was racing with fear, and anxiety, and his head was pounding with fear, add in the way he was still practically hyperventilating from escaping Concrete-Man’s strong hold and the adrenaline rush.

The girl had an interesting uniform (a mix of Starfire, Raven and Senketsu)- a navy blue crop top with mid-length sleeves, and a purple stem miniskirt held up by black suspenders, along with thigh high violet boots, and her whole uniform had all types of gadgets and buttons all over it. She also had on a dark blue cloak with a hood that masked her face so he couldn’t see her, but he was still in awe. In other words, she was kind of hot- if extremely powerful- and Peter couldn’t help but notice that.

But he snapped out of it when he realized what was actually happening, and when he saw that you had propelled yourself up into the air to fight this guy off yourself. He wanted to complain that this was his fight, even though he was losing terribly, but couldn’t when he saw that you had blasted this villain guy in the face with blinding blasts of ultraviolet radiation. The concrete on his face crumbled slightly and he roared in anger, swooping his hand to try and grab you up, while you were floating in the air.

He roared again when he missed as you dodged his clenching fist with ease, lurching forward and sending passerby into a panic as the ground shook beneath them.

“Foolish girl! You dare to challenge me, your worst nightmare?”

“Not much of a challenge,” you retorted, and Peter laughed, then shut himself up when he realized he should probably be doing something, but he didn’t know what.

“You look like a schoolgirl in that redundant uniform!” yelled out Concrete Man out of spite. “Get back to class!”

You paused midair, just sort of bouncing in the air, but now your eyes were glowing green and you felt energy activating inside of you that you knew would be deadly for Concrete Man, and extremely riling for you.

“Aw,” you crossed your arms, your voice eerily monotonous. “You made me angry. Good luck in advance.”

Concrete Man started to laugh, but before he could even get out a good bellow, you darted forward, feet first, and rammed yourself into his face, nailing him so hard he practically stumbled, your superhuman strength and berserker state granting you immunity to the aftermath of the blow and even greater strength.

The people below gasped and stumbled back, and some people started to run. Meanwhile, you were launching great green blasts of energy from out of the palm of your hands and into the villain’s face, blinding him and making him even more vulnerable as he groaned in pain at the heat of the power surges you were sending out.

Peter just looked up, his voice shaky because he was intimidated by you now, and choked out,

“U-um, d-do you need any help? Sh… should I be doing anything right now? I’m really confused, woah-”

“No! Shut up and get that woman to safety!” you yelled, only because you were angry and he was distracting you.

He did exactly that and ran over to the lady who Concrete Man had been attacking previously to get her to safety, and practically managing the crowds of people running by and trying to escape. You, on the other hand, were this much closer to defeating Concrete Man.

With blast after blast you had practically rendered him powerless, and he was staggering back, about to fall hard onto the ground. As Peter watched, he realized your maneuvers and techniques - the way you were hot headed and fast on your feet, just hitting him with move after move - reminded him an awful lot of someone… someone he was incredibly close to, but in his haze he couldn’t think of who.

“EVERYBODY MOVE BACK!” you yelled out to the few people who were standing underneath where Concrete Man was going to fall.

Everyone ran and when he finally fell, tumbling and crashing to the hard ground, you zoomed down, your eyes still gleaming a flashing green, and hovered above his disintegrating face, mocking him,

“Who the fuck is a little schoolgirl now!”

He bellowed and tried to get back up, but you were already harnessing your energy between your two hands, pressing the right wrist over the left wrist in a clamping maneuver and muttering,

“Get back to class,” before blasting an explosion of radiation at him that made him cry out in agony as he melted into the ground, just a puddle of wet cement like he had been before.

The people that remained cheered raucously and you came back down to the ground, a few feet ahead of Peter who had watched the whole thing go down in awe. You couldn’t help but smile, back to your normal state after releasing all of that energy, and bow just for even more effect.

You swerved around to face Peter now, remembering the mistake you had made in calling him by his name. You had meant to tell him sooner or later, but in your anger at seeing him get so mishandled by this wannabe Ironman you had slipped up and soon the cat would be out of the bag. You knew your boyfriend could be a bit of a ditz sometimes, despite his pure genius, so you figured he hadn’t yet put two and two together.

“Who are you?” Peter was first to talk, his face a mix of horror and confusion.

You breathed out loudly, catching your breath,

“Follow me.”

Reluctantly, he did, and you led him to a quiet alley where no one else was, and this just so happened to be the alley where he left his backpack and changed into his Spiderman uniform everyday. Something was definitely up.

You looked around to make sure the coast was clear, and when you had decided it was safe, you got awfully quiet and looked him in the eyes, though he still couldn’t decipher the face because you were masked.

“Peter, it’s me,” you said solemnly, your face and voice hopeful that you wouldn’t be angry.

It was like a lightbulb, no, a fuse, lit up and exploded over his head. He almost took a step back, he was so shocked, and everything started to come together. He started getting eight by ten glossies of his life, but just the moments he shared it with you, and all the weird things about you he had brushed off.

Like for example, your insane flexibility despite you proving to him multiple times you hadn’t set foot in a gymnasium for gymnastics since you were a kid, your excuses for leaving suddenly out of nowhere, your off days where you seemed to be supernatural when angry. It all made sense now.

“YN?” his already high voice cracked as he squeaked out your name, and you smiled apprehensively, hoping he wasn’t mad.

“Um… hi?”

“I don’t believe it. I do, but… wh- how does this even happen… you knew I was Spiderman all this time? And- and you, who… who even are you! If you’re a villain we have to break up… you’re not a villain are you? Please don’t be, I love you. I-I mean, that’s a strong word, could be scary, but you’re scary so I don’t want to get you upset by saying that if you’re not ready. Are you ready? Am I talking too fast, I feel like I’m talking really fast. Okay, woah, I’m a little light-headed, I’m gonna sit down.”

He sat up against the wall and you chuckled, standing in front of him- the boots really added height and you practically towered over him- on top of that he was sitting down. You thought it was cute that he found you scary, hell, you thought he was cute - he on the other hand was intimidated by your even further enhanced beauty (because you were already beautiful to him but now even more so) and power. He was also trying very hard to look anywhere but at you, or at least at your face, because he had never noticed how absolutely ripped you were, more than him maybe.

“Peter, calm down.” You removed your mask and cloak and he cleared his throat a bit too loudly, now that he could see your face. Then he started to choke and you made a disgruntled face as you glared down at him.

“Sorry,” he held his hand out to excuse himself but continued coughing.

“Look, I can’t tell you anything if you’re gonna be freaking out the entire time.”

“Okay… okay, just… explain.”

And you did- you explained how you were the most recent Avenger and how Natasha Romanoff had taken you under her wing for training, and how you had even visited other realms like Azarath and Tamaran to receive training from the former Teen Titans. You told him how this was really very recent and how you were going to tell him at some point, you just had to find the right time. He was planning on telling you too, at some point, since your relationship was getting quite serious.

You explained that you hadn’t meant to call him Peter, but that you were just distracted and annoyed, and already angry, since Peter was getting hurt and you felt like you hadn’t gotten there soon enough to help out. And you explained how you wanted nothing more than for the two of you to remain the way you were relationship wise, and not to let this new knowledge about you or each other betray what you had.

But you emphasized that sometimes your job was more important than him and he totally understood that - you were the kind of headstrong girl who, even if hot-headed, had a good head on her shoulders and a strong belief in yourself. You wouldn’t let anyone, even Peter, your first love, come between that.

“Wow…” Peter said, following your lengthy conversation. “So you’ve been an Avenger all this time?”

“Like I said, I only gained Avenger status recently. Before that I was kind of like you… just more, y’know, lowkey I guess, since you didn’t know who I was… or who Violet Blast (your superhero name) was until now.”

“Yeah… no kidding,” Peter panted. “You look really nice in your uniform by the way.”

You side-eyed him but winked playfully,

“You too if I were into the whole tights thing.”

He made a face, irritated but satisfied- you were the same old smart mouthed you, even as an Avenger. You were sitting next to each other, still in the alley, and you hopped onto your feet again, pulling Peter up from the ground too. He winced at how hard you had grasped his hand- superhuman strength things- and couldn’t hide it before you noticed. You giggled,

“Oops.”

“Ha,” he laughed limply, because he was still a bit afraid of you.

“Ok. I left my bag somewhere here…” you trailed off, starting to swivel around to try and find it.

Peter spotted it and dashed a web out towards it, pulling it towards you,

“Got it!”

You smiled and picked it up,

“Aww. My boyfriend’s a little spiderbaby.”

“Er- I’m a spiderman,” Peter corrected, folding his arms.

“Yeah?” you teased him, rolling your eyes. You started to change back into your regular clothes, but Peter made a noise and asked,

“Whaaat ya doin’?”

You made a face, bringing your brows together,

“Changing…?”

He cleared his throat, feeling quite awkward now since it was very obvious, but his mind had gone somewhere it shouldn’t have, in his dazed mix,

“We… yeah, I knew that. Just- you weren’t gonna give me a warning?”

You raised your brow even higher,

“Peter, I’m your girlfriend.”

He squeaked out and started to complain,

“Look, I’m really overwhelmed right now, with all this new information, so could you ju-”

“Fine, turn around,” you griped, but you couldn’t help but laugh at him.

When you were done you waited for him to change too, but he just stared at you.

“You want me to turn around,” you said, more of a statement than a question, and he nodded shyly.

When the two of you were finally in your regular clothes, though you were by no means regular at all, you carried on out of the alleyway as if you were. When you got out on the other side, you laced your hand through his, careful not to squeeze too hard,

“And by the way, I do love you… too.”

Although this brought a boyish smile to his face and made him laugh joyously in that cute way of his, he was still a little confused,

“What?”

You let go of his hand slightly, hoping he hadn’t just been rambling inattentively when he said that to you earlier, and already fearing losing him,

“Just… you said, back there, when we… I don’t know, I thought you said you loved me. Back there.”

Your voice got low and your head hung and your insecurity was showing. But Peter’s face remained lit up, as he squeezed your hand to reassure you, bringing your hands back closer together,

“Oh I know! I just wanted to make sure I was hearing you properly YN.”

You rolled your eyes and glanced over at him, basking in this moment- it didn’t seem real, but it was. The two of you, literal superheroes, together in what seemed to be life’s most fun and magical twist yet, not just the fact that you even had these abilities. And you were just two teenagers walking along the streets of Queens. And you shared your first I love yous. You couldn’t help but laugh and smile.

“Sure, Spidey,” you smirked.

ahh ok i hope you and everyone else who read that liked it!! should i make a part two where they’re just figuring out how to act normally in school + when they’re around each other and stuff, and maybe more of them fighting together!! lmk <3 thanks so much for requesting first ask anon <3

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whenimgoodandready · 4 years

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*SVTFOE Bloopers, Finale Season

Hey Starlings! Today’s the one year anniversary of “Star vs. The Forces of Evil”! I remember when we were all hyped up for the show and I got sooooooooooo into it. And I mean really really into! My reviews grew from joining the fandom, I collected the merchandise, I met some good friends and I even got to meet Daron Nefcy herself! As tribute to the shows anniversary, I finally got the chance to write my Season 4 bloopers! (like how I did with the first 3 and “Battle for Mewni”) I admit I haven’t really worked on it much since last year cuz I’ve been busy (mostly lazy), but when I heard the one year anniversary was coming up, I decided to get off my a** and write it! With help from my good friend @agentpfangirl1997. Thank you so much! As I was writing this out. I accidentally deleted it and was in shell shock cuz I worked really hard on typing this all out and putting it together, but I picked myself up and rewrote it like a true writer! I hope you guys like it cuz if you get the references in this. It’ll be even better. Enjoy! @daronnefcy I hope you see this! Like you promised from your Q&A!

•Butterfly Follies

-(Star pulls the string of the Queen Moon doll)

Queen Moon Doll:”You’re doing just fine, sweetheart”

(Star pulls the string again)

Queen Moon Doll:”I love you!”

(Star pulls the string once more)

Queen Moon Doll:(in a deep demonic male voice) “I command you! In the name of Lucifer to spill the blood of the innocent!”

(Star shakes her head in disbelief looking standing upright and shocked. She darts her eyes to the doll. She pulls the string yet again)

Queen Moon Doll:(makes demonic shrieking noises)

(Star darts her eyes to the camera still in shock)

-“Queen Moon”:(to Star and River) ”Um, I have to tell you something”

(“Queen Moon” takes off their wig to reveal themselves to be a male actor)

(Star and River gasp)

River:”You.......you’re a brunet!” (the staff off-screen laugh. River laughs as Star holds back her laughter. The Queen Moon actor just smiles. River turns to the staff off-screen shrugging) “I forgot my lines!”

•Escape from the Pie Folk

-(The Pie King is lounging on the giant pie wheel as he spins it. It spins for a moment before it slowly stops)

Star:”I’d like to solve the puzzle!” (The Pie King falls off the giant pie wheel laughing. Star laughs as the staff off-screen laugh too. Star turns to them shrugging and smiling sheepishly) “I like “Wheel of Fortune!”

•Moon Remembers

•Swim Suit

-(Behind the Scenes. Star, Marco and Tom are staring up at the giant crystal prison Globgor is in, but he’s not right now (cuz he’s CGI-ed in), so they’re just astonishingly staring up at the big empty crystal prop)

Marco:”How big is this f***ing thing!?”

•Ransomgram

-Ransomgram Monster:(singing and dancing) 🎶You stole our sword, so we stole your dragoncyclllllllllllll🎶 (stops singing and dancing to laugh at herself holding herself up by her knees. She turns to the staff off-screen) “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, can-can I try that again please?”

•Lake House Fever

•Yada Yada Berries

•Down by the River

-(Behind the Scenes. Toffee is sitting on a chair reading a script from for his upcoming cameo appearance in “Meteora’s Lesson” while holding a coffee mug in one hand and drinking from it. He’s only wearing his white shirt and black pants and matching shoes. Suddenly, the child actors that portray the Maizley kids, Manny and Mendel, run up to him grinning and stare intensively at him on either side. Toffee notices this and stares up from his script. The children continue to stare)

Toffee:”Can I help you?”

Mendel:”Hiiiiiiiiii Mr.Toffee” (rubs her arm up her other arm looking at the ground and then up at Toffee), “We’re huge fans of yours and we just wanted to meet the biggest actor on the show”

Manny:(points at Mendel) “She’s got a big crush on you!”

Mendel:(looks embarrassed then glares at Manny) “I do not!” (turns back to Toffee and shyly holds her hands behind her back and traces her foot on the ground in front of her looking down at it and then up at him) “Anyways, we were wondering if maybe you can help us go over our lines for our episode”

Toffee:”Well, I don’t know, I’m already going over my own lines for my own episode and-“

The Kids:(pressing their heads together with big eyes, cute smiles and clasping their hands together) “Pleeeeease” (they bat their eyes unsynchronizingly)

Toffee:(sighs and then miles) “Oh alright”

(the kids cheer and Manny runs off-screen. He comes back dragging a chair, places it next to Toffee, climbs up on it, pulls out his script for “Down by the River” and Mendel hands Toffee her script. Manny opens both scripts to a certain scene)

Manny:(to Toffee) “Ready!?”

Toffee:”Yes”

Manny:(clears his throat and reads his line) “Hey! You wanna bet I can scream really loud!?”

Toffee:(reads Rivers line from the script) “”No”, okay, so then Moon says-“ (gets interrupted by Manny screaming in his ear. Toffee was startled by it as it made him jump out of his chair and drop his coffee mug having it spill and break on the floor. He was covering his ears when he turned to Manny annoyed) “What was that!?”

Manny:(smiling) ”That was my line! I scream in Rivers ear!”

Toffee:”Yeah, but I wasn’t-“ (gets interrupted by Manny screaming again. Toffee cringes) “I wasn’t-“ (gets interrupted again by Manny screaming as he cringes again) “Now see here, I-“ (gets interrupted once again by Manny screaming as he once again cringes) “Will you st-“ (yet again he’s interrupted by Manny screaming as he cringes once more. Manny screams in-between pauses as Toffee cringes with it. Toffee groans and covers his ears as Manny’s continuous screaming gets louder from his pauses. Mendel pulls out a pan and spoon and starts banging them against each other while howling. Toffee is startled by that and turns to glare at Mendel screaming ) “WHAT’S WITH THE ONE WOMAN BAND!?”

Mendel:(screaming so Toffee can hear from Manny’s screaming) “IT’S THE SCENE WHERE MY FAMILY AND I MAKE LOUD NOISES TO WARD OFF THE HOOKMAN!” (she giggles) “IT DRIVES MOON CRAZY!”

Toffee:(exasperatedly) ”She’s not the only one!” (he sighs and slumps in defeat as Manny is still screaming in pauses as Mendel bangs her pan and spoon together howling. He walks off dejectedly as Manny jumps on his back continuing his screams and Mendel following him howling. We hear Toffee off-screen yell) “WHY DID I AGREE TO COME BACK TO THIS KIDS SHOW!?”

•The Ponyhead Show!

-Pony Head:(on the set of her characters Show-within-a-Show) “Okay, um, so when I said I wanted my own spin-off, THIS ISN’T WHAT I HAD IN MIND!”

-Eclipsa:(singing and playing her guitar as she’s magiced in the air by Star) 🎶Centuries from my home, Can't go back, so let's start some-🎶 (the harness that’s keeping her up for Stars magic breaks leaving her hanging by only one strap now) “Oh! Oh my!”

(the background music for Eclipsas song stops on a record scratch and Star, Pony Head (after spitting out the crystal cupcake prop), Marco, Kelly and Seahorse rush over and try to reach up to Eclipsa)

Marco:(jumping up and down) “I gotcha! I gotcha!”

Pony Head:”Hang on Eclipsa! I gotcha!” (flies up to the harness that’s wrapped around Eclipsa and tries breaking it free with her teeth. Seahorse flies up and joins in)

(the single harness now is slightly torn lowering Eclipsa down with her screaming)

Star:(fearfully) “Eclipsa!”

Eclipsa:(worrying) “Some one get me down!”

(Everyone tries to help Eclipsa and the camera pans to Toffee causally sitting in a chair wearing only his white shirt with a couple of buttons undone and his black pants and shoes while holding his coffee mug and next to him is Rosemary, the little girl who was the only one to like Eclipsas song, sitting on a chair leveled to Toffee sipping her juice box and both are staring up at the chaos of Eclipsas harness failure as people rush in to save her and we hear them murmur)

Toffee:(to Rosemary keeping his eyes on Eclipsa) “Think they’ll get her down?”

Rosemary:(while keeping her eyes on Eclipsa) “Not a chance”

(they click their drinks without looking and sip)

•Surviving the Spiderbites

•Out of Business

-Marco:(to the Quest Buy Sloth) “Hey! My Dude! We’re pros at these, uh, situati-“ (gets tripped on his back after doing a back flip by the “Baby Marco with Wheels for Hands” prop as it zooms by. Marco sits up groaning. He turns up to his left) “Janna!” (Janna comes onto the set with a remote control device laughing and makes the “Baby Marco with Wheels for Hands” prop circle around them. Marco groans at Janna)

•Kelly’s World

•Curse of the Blood Moon

-Tom:”Uh, Relicor says he’ll guide us to the Severing Stone, cuz he’s my grandpa” (sways his hips back and forth) pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-“ (stops to laugh at himself) “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It was just too funny! (laughs some more. Turns to the director off-screen and waves his hand dismissively) “Just-Just shot again, okay!”

(Take 2) Tom:”Cuz he’s my grandpa” (sways his hips back and forth) “pa-pa-pa-“ (stops again to laugh and holds up one finger facing the director off-screen) “One more time! One more time!”

(Take 3) Tom:”Cuz he’s my-“(is about to sway his hips back and forth, he stops to hold in his laugh, but after awhile, he bursts into laughter bending forward holding his stomach and tapping his foot. Star is annoyed and rolls her eyes groaning. Janna pulls out her iPhone playing with it and Marco sighs)

-(Star, Marco, Tom, Janna and Relicor are in the elevator. Tom is whistling and holding his hands together stretching them around. Star looks annoyed)

Star:”Tom!.....Tom!” (Tom accidentally hits Star in the eye with his stretching hands) “OW!” (Star covers her eye)

(everyone looks towards Star concerned)

Tom:(panicky) “Oh my God! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to and-“

Star:”Damn it! Tom!”

(The staff come onto the set and hover around Star as we hear one say, “The medics on their way!”. Tom panics to himself and a bell rings signaling to stop rolling)

-(Behind the Scenes. Star and the gang are waiting for Vexicor to show up for the scene. Star is slouched down holding a hand to her head moaning silently, Marco has his arms crossed and is tapping his foot impatiently, Tom is looking worriedly at Star, Janna is laying on the couch playing on her iPhone, Relicor is flying in place and Abraxacan is in his tower resting his head on one hand and tapping his claws on the window sill)

Marco:(about Vexicor to the staff off-screen) “Is he here yet!?”

Staff Member Off-Screen:”No, not yet”

(Marco sighs impatiently)

Tom:(walks over to Star putting his hand on her shoulder) “Hey, is your eye okay?”

Star:(stares up at Tom sternly) “F*** off, Tom”

(Tom backs away slowly holding his hands up in front of him in fear. We hear a door open and slam as everyone on set looks towards the noise. We then hear foot steps and Vexicor in his demon costume comes onto the set holding up a fast food bag in one hand and a drink in the other)

Vexicor:”What! What! What! What’s everyone looking at!?” (slurps his drink)

Marco:”Dude! You went to get fast food!?”

Vexicor:(irritated) “Well why not!? You kids cleaned me out on the donuts, so I had to walk all the way to the restaurant” (gestures to his costume) “in this getup! Getting weird looks from strangers and I’m sweating my balls off in this thing and-“

Director Daron:(off-screen) “WAIT! WAIT! Hold up!” (everyone looks at the camera) “This could work!”

Star:”It can?”

Vexicor:”What!? Me and this scenario!?”

Director Daron:(off-screen) “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! It’ll be funny! Okay places everyone! Let’s shoot this!”

(everyone gets into their positions for the new rewrite scene)

-(Star and Marco are wearing their formal outfits waltzing to the “Blood Moon Waltz” with red lighting. Suddenly, the music shifts to Lil Nas X ft.Billy Ray Cyruses remix song of “Old Town Road”. Star and Marco are startled by it and break apart)

Pony Head:(flies onto the scene screaming) “Okay! That is it! Where are those creepy twins!? Imma bust their heads!” (scans the area as the music plays) “I swear, I don’t care if I get sued for this! Those two are dead!” (she notices the music still playing) “CUT THE TRACK!” (“Old Town Road” stops on a record scratch as the lighting turns on to color. Pony Head groans and flies off. Star and Marco just awkwardly stare at each other from Pony Heads outburst)

Marco:”Well” (scratches the back of his head and then shrugs) “least it’s not “Despacito” (crookedly smiles)

(Star covers her mouth from laughing)

•Princess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic Bell

-(Behind the Scenes. Janna (before CGI makes her a Cyclopes) is bouncing up and down with glee next to Quasar)

Janna:(pleadingly) “Do the thing! Do the thing! Please! Please! Please!”

Quasar:(laughs and playfully waves off a hand) “Oh C’mon!”

Janna:”Pleeeeeeeeease!” (holds up one finger) “Just this once!”

Quasar:(playfully rolls her eyes) “Oh okay!”

(Janna cheers clapping her hands)

Quasar:(clears her throat and gets into a starting position pose. She raises her hand in the air) “JUPITER STAR POWER! MAKE UP!” (gracefully twirls around while waving her hands in the air. Janna awes with joy)

•Ghost of Butterfly Castle

-(Moon is walking the hallway of the abandoned ruins of Castle Butterfly looking at the sewn tapestries on the walls. She suddenly stops and sneezes. The staff off-screen laugh as she smiles and sniffles)

Moon:”I’m sorry” (sniffles again) “It’s just so dusty in here that’s all”

•Cornball!

•Meteora’s Lesson

-(Behind the Scenes. Star is in Toffees huge dressing room putting on his mullet wig for his young characters self. She’s adjusting it in the mirror and starts doing poses with it. She does air guitar and makes guitar noises with it thrashing around. As she does that, she doesn’t notice Toffee walk in dressed in his young characters 80’s outfit while wearing a bald cap for the wig and carrying a coffee mug. He’s perplexed seeing Star goof around in his dressing room and wig)

Star:(singing) 🎶I love Rock n’ Roll! So put another dime in the jukebox, Baby! I love Rock n’ Roll! So come an’ take your time an’ dance with me-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! YEAH!🎶 (she grabs a chair and smashes it on the ground. Then she goes down on her knees and holds both her hands up in a “Rock On!” sign) “THANK YOU! GOOD-NIGHT!” (sticks her tongue out “KISS” style)

Toffee:”Ahem!”

(Star breaks out of her “rock persona” and looks to see Toffee glaring at her. She quickly gets up grinning sheepishly. Keeping her eyes on Toffee, she dusts the broken pieces of the chair behind her under a lounge chair, scoots herself near his wig bust, removes his wig from her head, places it on the bust, brushes it down with her hands and takes a big step next to him. She giggles nervously then frantically zooms out the room. Toffee watches her leave and signs wearingly)

-(Toffee dressed as his young characters self is gripping Glossaryck in his hand and Meteora crawls over to Toffees leg. She starts pounding on it, but then stops and cuddles it cooing. Toffee chuckles and picks up Meteora in his other arm. He turns to the staff off-screen)

Toffee:(embarrassed) “Can we edit this so it looks like she’s attacking me?”

•The Knight Shift

•Queen-Napped

-Ransomgram Monster:(fearfully peaking from the door holding a hand full of envelopes) “It’s just the mail! Please don’t make me dance!” (the staff off-screen laugh. The Ransomgram Monster turns to them embarrassed and shrugs) “I’m not much of a dancer!”

•Junkin’ Janna

•A Spell With No Name

#svtfoe #svtfoe bloopers #svtfoe season 4 bloopers

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contemplative-prayer-collec-blog · 5 years

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Hope

Centering Prayer is a practice of hope. As we quietly pray, we practice saying “yes” to God’s invitation, giving Him our attention above all else – in all else. Centering ourselves in God’s presence we may not realize that we make a statement. That action is a statement of hope. We are declaring, “I trust You more than anyone or anything else! My hope is in You!” No matter what life may look like – we keep returning to the One who says, “I’m here. I’ve always been here. I’ve got you!”

It’s can be hard at times. The world may seem as if it is out of control. Circumstances may feel crazy – even threatening. But, as we pray, little by little, we learn we are most secure centered on the One who is always present. We find Him in everything. His presence shapes our view of Reality. He is present. That's our constant. He is trustworthy. In this we find hope.

Please read the words below from Eugene Peterson about hope, and then take a moment to experience a musical moment of worship from Vertical Church in Chicago, IL.

Hoping does not mean doing nothing. It is not fatalistic resignation.

It means going about our assigned tasks, confident that God will provide the meaning and the conclusions.

It is not compelled to work away at keeping up appearances with a bogus spirituality.

It is the opposite of desperate and panicky manipulations, of scurrying and worrying.

And hoping is not dreaming. It is not spinning an illusion or fantasy to protect us from our boredom or our pain.

It means a confident, alert expectation that God will do what he said he will do.

It is imagination put in the harness of faith. It is a willingness to let God do it his way and in his time.

It is the opposite of making plans that we demand that God put into effect, telling him both how and when to do it.

That is not hoping in God but bullying God.

I pray to GOD -- my life a prayer -- and wait for what he'll say and do. My life's on the line before God, my Lord, waiting and watching till morning, waiting and watching till morning. [1]

[1] E. H. Peterson. (1980). A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society, p. 132.

youtube

#contemplative prayer #centering prayer #Eugene peterson #Vertical Church Chicago #hope

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gundamthey17 · 5 years

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How to write a fear of heights

by an actual scared of heights person!

Okay, here’s the deal. I’m sick of seeing fear of heights portrayed completely inaccurately in movies, books, basically everything ever. So hopefully this little guide will be helpful to anyone looking to write a character with this phobia.

What it isn’t: It isn’t vertigo. Vertigo is a feeling of dizziness or loss of balance, which can be a symptom of acrophobia (more on that below), but it isn’t the same as acrophobia itself. I’m assuming this confusion comes from the Hitchcock movie, where the main character suffers vertigo as a result of his acrophobia.

It isn’t aerophobia, which is the technical name for fear or flying/being in planes (lookin’ at you, Minyard). A person can have both, but they don’t have to. In my case, I’m perfectly fine with flying. Why? No clue. Phobias are by definition irrational, they don’t have to make sense. More on that later.

It isn’t rational. The relative amount of security often has little effect on how scared a person is. (Obviously if it’s up high and unsafe, it’s going to be scarier.) Wall climbing/ropes courses, ziplines, roller coasters, all these things are more or less just as scary to me as being in a really tall building, the nosebleed section of a stadium, or balcony seats in a theatre. It doesn’t matter that I’m fully safe in a harness, or behind a railing, or in a building. And reminding me how safe I am isn’t going to help, it’s just going to annoy me.

What it is: Acrophobia is, quite simply, the extreme and/or irrational fear of heights. People experience this in a range of intensity. For some, it’s only an issue on the top floor of a skyscraper. For others, even standing on a chair is terrifying. Relative height does matter, but only to an extent. The eighth floor is scarier than the second (the second is still scary), but at some point it all becomes the same terrifying sensation. It’s like I hit full on panic, and there’s nowhere left for me to escalate. If the 15th floor makes me feel like I’m gonna die, the 30th floor literally can’t be any worse. Additionally, the perception of how high I am matters. If I’m in a skyscraper, but I’m in a room with no windows, I’m probably fine. If I’m in an open-layout building looking over the second floor railing, I’m pretty freaked. That said, your body can to some extent, sense how high you are, so it isn’t always possible to trick yourself into not being scared.

Symptoms: A person can experience a variety of physical and mental symptoms when they are put in a situation that triggers their acrophobia. Not everyone experiences all these symptoms, and they don’t necessarily experience them all at once.

Vertigo – a feeling of loss of balance

Lightheadedness/dizziness – different from vertigo, this is the feeling that you are about to pass out

Shortness of breath

Hyperventilation

Shaking/trembling

Crying

Panic attack – kind of a combination of all of these symptoms; the person will likely be hard to console, having a hard time breathing, lightheaded (as a result of feeling like they can’t breathe), shaking, etc.

Behaviors: How a person with acrophobia may react to being up high.

Get low – We often experience the urge to lower our center of gravity, and may crouch or sit on the ground to feel better

Hold onto something – An inner wall or railing is best, something solid that is away from edges or windows. Holding onto a person works, but isn’t ideal, because the person can move. A railing/wall/window that is on the outside might work, but conflicts with the next point…

Avoid the edge/windows/etc – See the above note on the perception of height. The further back you are, the more secure you can make yourself feel. (For example, I once stayed on the 20-something floor of a hotel with floor-to-ceiling windows, and I stayed at least 2 feet away from the windows the entire time.) This may create dissonance with the need to hold onto something, if the only option is a window or railing on the edge. I have dealt with this by reaching out to hold the railing, but leaning my body inward, away from the edge, as much as possible. It looks ridiculous, but it helps a little.

Close your eyes – Again, this has to do with perception. If I can’t see how high up I am, I might feel a little better. (But as stated above, your body can often sense how high up you are, so you might still be scared.)

Things we won’t do: I’m sorry, but the trope of an acrophobic person going someplace high because they feel depressed or despondent is just not true, at least in my experience. All that’s going to do is make me sad and panicky. (I can’t begin to list all the places I’ve seen this trope. Venom is probably the most recent – although the rest of the movie handled Eddie’s acrophobia fairly well.) (Andrew gets a pass on this one because he’s got Issues.)

Potential triggers: Here is a brief and certainly not exhaustive list of places/situations that trigger my acrophobia. Some of these are obvious, but some you may not have considered.

Ladders

Balconies

Stadiums

Wall climbing/ropes courses/rock climbing

Ziplines

Ski lifts (up high and it’s moving and there’s nothing holding you in place are you fucking serious)

Bridges (This can be anything from the Golden Gate Bridge to the highway overpass. Walking is worse than driving, but just because you’re in a car doesn’t mean you won’t be scared. I had a panic attack on the bridge from Detroit to Canada, and I was the one driving.)

Amusement park rides (Not just roller coasters, although those are awful. The Ferris Wheel is literal torture. The London Eye? No thank you.)

Escalators

Glass elevators (whose dumbass idea was that, for the love of God)

And because I think it’s counterintuitive and weird, my list of activities that I’ll never do in order from least to most terrifying is: Skydiving, bungee jumping, hot air balloon. Yes, that’s right, a hot air balloon ride is one of the scariest things I can possibly imagine and my stomach hurts just thinking about it.

Avoidance: Obviously facing your fears can be good, and exposure therapy is a thing, but just like any other phobia, most people with acrophobia take steps to avoid the triggering situations above. This includes:

Picking seats that are lower/closer in a theatre or stadium - I am forever weighing the cost of seats vs how uncomfortable I’m going to be. It’s worth paying a little more if being up too high is going to make me too scared to even enjoy the show.

Excuses – Saying that you get motion sick, or even that you just don’t like rides, in order to not go on them without looking like a coward in front of your friends

Honesty/asking for help – Sometimes I just have to swallow my pride. I have no qualms asking coworkers to climb a ladder for me, simply stating that “I don’t like ladders” or “I don’t like heights”. If I know I’m going to be facing a triggering situation, I’ll usually tell my friends beforehand so that they know what to expect

Things to remember: Be supportive of your acrophobic friends. Let them hold your hand/arm/backpack if they need to. Let them close their eyes. Comfort them without saying “but you’re totally safe!” (Try “I’m right here. I won’t let go of you.”) Additionally, just like any panic attack, it won’t last forever. I can and do acclimate to triggering situations, like balcony seats, if I’m there long enough. Eventually the panic subsides and you calm down. (Standing up or moving too much can trigger it again, so once I’m calm I’m probably going to stay put as much as I can.) And at the end of the day, it is “just” a phobia. We may freak out a bit, but we’re used to it, and as long as we aren’t in genuine danger, we’ll be fine.

Hopefully this is helpful to someone. I would love to see more accurate portrayals of this common phobia!

#stuff i say #long post #writing #fear of heights #acrophobia #fanfic #venom #aftg #andrew minyard #reference

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hellholland · 6 years

Note

A headcanon of Tom dating a shy reader who is his co star and has anxiety?

aww yessss! this is a long one so buckle up. the beginning is more meeting/getting together and the bottom part is more of the headcanons/anxiety-related things

• you and tom initially met at the screen testing of their movie

• tom was cast a little bit before you were. you already knew about that and it scared the shit out of her because she was newer to the big movie scene than he was

• you were over the moon when you found out you were cast, both a little anxious and excited• ”is gonna be a douchebag???” “what if he doesn’t like me?” “will they recast me?” a LOT of self doubt and concerns about tom

• once you arrived on set to work on a few testing scenes and green-screen stuff, harrison was the first to greet you. tom was running late, somehow

• “what if that messes up our schedule? is he gonna get in trouble?” you said that out loud, much to your dismay. you were thinking too fast because of how anxious you were about filming

• this was one of your first big movies, let alone a movie with a marvel star? “if he’s a dick or something goes wrong, it could wreck everything, especially if we don’t have chemistry” - your internal monologue, repeatedly. your mind rambled through all of the worst outcomes

• harrison had this weird look in his eye when you didn’t readily accept the fact he was late just because iTs tOm HoLlAnD

• turns out that weird look was some prophetic thing. he knew you and tom were gonna get along

• tom arrived to set twenty minutes with tessa and a latte for dogs

• he rambles to the director, who’s slightly unhappy with this “i’m really sorry i just saw the ad for it and i got so excited-“

• he didn’t notice you standing by at first because of how apologetic he was for being late

• this settled your nerves a bit because what a fucking dork move. you loved it

• “oh, oh my god! you’re (y/n), right?” “uh yeah, tom?” “nice to meet you!”

• he hugged you instead of shaking hands

• the first few days were awkward banter, but he still was really warm and welcoming person, constantly trying to make you feel happy and at-home with everyone

• going out w/ the cast and posting pictures was common. fans started commenting on how “close” you two looked

• tom really liked trying to make you laugh during serious scenes. once, instead of sitting on the chair behind his desk like the blocking told him to, he ran, jumped and slid over it while you followed him into the fake office

• he biffed it. bitch almost got another broken nose

• you almost got a panic attack from how much his nose was bleeding but he ended up being the one calming you down until you laughed again

• here comes stunt filming

• you told the team you’d do your own stunts. you wanted to go out of your way and try new stuff

• anxiety made that really, really hard. you felt like a lot of your childhood wasn’t spent like it should be. you missed out on a lot because of how severe it was and you told yourself at the beginning of 2018 you’d make it up to yourself

• nevertheless, as soon as they strapped you in the harness you started breathing really shallow. you felt constricted rather than safe

• you didn’t say anything. your throat was so dry you felt like you couldn’t anyway

• you were supposed to fall off a platform, cling onto the edge for a few seconds then fall twenty-something feet till the harness stopped you. there was protective stuff underneath in case something went wrong, but you were almost crying

• heights weren’t your favorite. you did it anyways, after about ten minutes of pacing and tom coming out of his trailer to encourage you

• he only vaguely knew of your anxiety. he didn’t know you were shooting the scene on your own till he came out, which instantly got him worried for you

• “hey, i’ll catch you if you fall!” “yeah?” you yelled back, mustering up the humor to give him a half-hearted smile “yeah, but only if you’re falling in love!”

• you laughed. and blushed. shit.

• “i think i like him?” “took you long enough to figure it out,” harrison replied, sipping his coffee

• anyway the same day of the falling-stunt, something went wrong with the rope and you fell further than what they told you. you fell into the tall mesh/foam pads but it caused a full blown panic attack. you weren’t expecting it

• you couldn’t move, but your heart was beating so fast you thought it’d pump too much blood and you might die

• you were just frozen, waiting for your body to register what happened

• in the meantime, your brain was kind of on fire. your head felt hot and you were getting dizzy just laying down

• “hey, hey, (y/n)” tom’s familiar voice rung out and you felt a weight beside you, fumbling to unclip the metal bit from your harness. “that was terrifying, but you’re still here, yes?” he spoke in a really calm voice, slowly lifting you off the landing and getting you to the ground

• the set and staff were scrambling to fix things, people were apologizing left and right

• you could move again, but you didn’t want to talk. everything was blurry.

• he walked you into his trailer, where harrison was laying around. you faintly remember them talking about whether or not you were okay

• you sat down on tom’s bed in the back area of the trailer, tom looking at you worriedly from the doorway.

• you started to cry and shake a lot

• while it was an awful feeling, at the same time you were grateful you could make sound again

• “okay love, it’s alright,” tom murmured, sitting on the bed to hold you and kiss the top of your head

• after a solid fifteen minutes of sobbing into his chest, you fell asleep

• unbeknownst to you, harrison came in to talk to tom

• “you’re really whipped for her, huh?”

• “i guess you could say that,” tom replied quietly, rubbing circles into your back

• fast forward two months. you’re shooting the final scene, which includes a kissing scene

• …but not between you and tom.

• you were getting really worked up over it. the actor was nice enough but you weren’t close

• tom was no where to be seen, even though you had to shoot more stuff together right after the kiss

• eventually you got it over with, after a couple takes

• that’s right, a couple. you felt a little light headed but managed to to go knock on tom’s door

• “come in” “hey, i haven’t seen you around. what’s up?” you asked as you poke your head in. “nothing,” he replied with an offbeat tone. he was on his phone, not looking up

• “sounds like you’ve got a stick up your ass today, holland”

• tom looked up with a very confused look on his face. “since when did you talk like that?”

• “since i started being honest with other people and myself.”

• tom swore in the moment you held that cheeky grin on your face was when he fell in love with you

• but of course he didn’t say anything. he didn’t express he was bitter about your kissing scene. he was scared of brutally honest communication, yet you weren’t.

• this was odd, even to you, that you were so willing to say that to his face. you had no malicious intentions, you just wanted to get him to open up. you were feeling comfortable around him now. (it used to be you almost had an anxiety attack if he made a joke about you, to you. you’d read too far into it and think he hated you)

• “i finished ‘the big scene today,’” you sighed as you sat down next to him. he was still staring at you. “what’s wrong?”

• “nothing. nothing’s wrong.”

• your stomach flipped. he seemed really pissed which made you very panicky. “a-are you sure?”

• “yeah.” he looked away, tossing the phone onto the table by him and looking up at the lights.

• “you’re scaring me.” you said weakly after minutes of silence had gone by.

• tom realized what he’d done, that he’d been short with you when it wasn’t your fault. he forgot about your anxiety. he forgot that you were a human with fears. he was just settled on the fact you were outside making out with another guy, even though it was fake.

• “i’m sorry”

• “i just want you to talk to me. you know you can say whatever you want.”

• (harrison really was an ass for making you two do this on your own)

• “how do you feel about noah?” he asked. your co-star. your on-screen lover.

• “he’s okay, i guess. why?” you raised an eyebrow.

• “alright. i like you. a lot. and i don’t like seeing you kiss other guys because i want to be the one kissing you.”

• very blunt. you were in shock for a bit and tom got really nervous because he thought you didn’t reciprocate, but the moment you kissed him, everything he was thinking just dissolved

• from then on, the rest is history.

• after eight months, your relationship went public, which brought a lot of love and a lot of hate. (you got really upset over that to the point of disabling comments and social media hiatus’)

• you moved in together! something your fans found out quickly. they were like detectives, a lot of people gave you shit for “moving too fast,” but tom reassured you constantly about those anxieties

• one time someone told you to kill yourself. tom came home to you crying in your bed, having one the panic attacks where you don’t think straight and just want to distance yourself from everyone.

• “it’s better if i leave, tom. they’ll stop being awful to you. we won’t get bad press anymore. it won’t hurt as much.” your eyes were pink and your nail beds were raw from how much you picked at them. you’d scratched one part of your palm so much that it was bleeding.

• tom’s heart broke, and he found himself cradling you again on a bed. “i love you so much, (y/n). you’re my fucking world and no one else can change that.” he said, kissing your knuckles. he wiped your tears away and looked you in the eye. “you know that, right? that i love you?”

• you couldn’t look him in the eye. you were shaking so much and so very convinced that others would tear you apart.

• “i am not moving until you say you know that. because i absolutely need you to know that i adore you and love you in every single way there is.” he picked up your chin to look at him.

• “i know you do.” you eventually whispered, tears still slipping down your cheeks. he pulled your head into his chest, rocking back and forth slightly. “i love you too.”

• paparazzi was the worst. you hated them. as soon as the flashing lights started you would begin to shake

• tom would always to the best of his ability, find routes or entrances that paparazzi wouldn’t be at when you went out

• when it was unavoidable, he’d grip you around your waist, running so fast he’d nearly carry you into places. sometimes he’d cover your eyes too

• if you were out in public, he’d always give you his hat and sunglasses to wear to help you feel safer

• “hey! (y/n)! how does tom feel about you and noah centino’s hot scene in the new movie?” “(y/n), look here, look here! show me a smile, pretty lady!” “that’s one fine piece of ass you got there, holland” - the paparazzi could be really vulgar sometimes

• “can you fuck off?” he said to all of them, almost yelling. he almost hushed the crowd as he flipped them all off and walked inside with you.

• when you had bad days with your anxiety, you had s tendency to scratch yourself. when tom got home from work or you got home from work, he’d always make sure you had a bandaid or something to protect them.

• there were days where you helped him, too. when the public lifestyle was too much, you’d sit behind him and brush his hair as long as needed. sometimes it was hours while he ranted, or just silence.

• sometimes he’d just fall into you while you were laying or sitting somewhere, resting his head on your chest.

• holding him was the best anti-anxiety medicine you ever had.

• you were always in awe of each other. awed by how beautiful your relationship was, how understanding one person could be, and everything in between.

• tom never, ever yelled at you. not once. he tried his best to never be snippy because he knew it scared you, but some days it was really hard. you did the same for him.

• when you got sick, he held your hair back. throwing up usually triggered some form of anxiety, and he’d just hold you in the bathroom floor when you were done. you might be sweating and hadn’t showered for three days because you couldn’t get up, and he’d just sit there, his head again the wall with his arms wrapped around you.

• on those days when there was no reason for you to be anxious, but you were, he would check in to make sure you were taking care of yourself.

• sometimes he’d leave you alone because you needed it. he could read you effortlessly. when one of you got home, sometimes the greetings were just a simple hello. other days they were a drawn out hug and a passionate kiss.

• being in each others presence was enough. you didn’t always have to be doing something, touching or talking, it was comforting to just know that they were there.

• tom helped you. he didn’t fix you, because you did not need fixing. he just helped. he was there when you needed it and vice versa. he was a caretaker and could give you the truth. he was a lover and a friend.

• his forehead kisses were like drugs to you

• when you woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream, he’d wake up too. he’d just grab your hand, look at you and give you a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth. he never once let you go out onto the balcony to “get some air.” on those nights. he knew you might stay out there all not and not sleep, or your panic attacks would get worse from the heights and half-conscious combination.

• tom was a sucker for dancing in the moonlight. when those same nights were really, really bad, he’d make you get up and you two would just sway to the non existent music. sometimes he’d sing to you.

• you liked having your head on his chest when he talked or sang to you because you could feel the vibrations as he spoke.

• he loved you. you loved him.

• often, the only two words that could describe him seemed odd, but fit so well

• beautifully human.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland headcanon #tom holland fanfic #tom holland #peter parker x reader #tom holland x reader fluff #anxeity #marvel headcanons

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