#it all feels more about the hijacking of the body than the mind or will or whatever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nvuy · 1 month

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hijacked — boothill

summary. a mission to retrieve some files from a banquet hall goes wayward south when a galaxy ranger shows up to ruin your night—and score some bonus kisses while he’s at it.

notes. save me space cowboy… save me… remembered his entire body is robotic except his head. the possibilities to hack it and take over……….. ngh

HEY YOU!! there’s a sequel now.

warnings. little bit of threatening, mind control/hacking/hijacking? you take over his body for like a few minutes? is that a warning?

“Hey, pretty thing.”

Target locked. Your scanners had already tracked him before you could even realise he was speaking to you.

You swiftly hid away the USB drive in your purse.

Did he know?

It seemed his own eye enhancements—although a lot less subtle than yours—were scanning you down as well. How transactional. You’d hoped the walls you’d put up were enough to keep whatever technology he had at bay. Or at least, not trigger any alarms.

“You looked lonely. Was g’nna buy you a drink. Help you loosen up a bit.” He swished his own drink in your face for good measure. The coupe glass in his hands looked odd. He didn’t seem like a cocktail man. Not at all.

He looked like a whiskey man. Hard whiskey. With ice. In a tumbler with ribbed glass. You could picture it.

He just looked so out of place at the banquet.

He wasn’t even following the dress code. He was wearing boots, and a pair of old pants with zips along the calves. A hat with a white feather woven into the fabric rested on a head of long white hair with splashes of black around his face.

“No thanks,” you said with a wave. You tried to discreetly scan down his body, searching for any sort of hint of how you could get into his system.

His pants and what little material of his jacket hid most of the metal of his body. Internally, you cursed at it. He had no clear openings in his neck or arms. His head seemed entirely organic.

No weak spots.

“N’aww. Shame.”

The front door felt a lot further away now. Even more so, knowing he was most definitely here for you. He hadn’t even introduced himself yet. You had a feeling he knew he didn’t need to.

“Was g’nna ask ya to dance.”

You laughed awkwardly. “I can’t dance in these shoes.”

“Take ‘em off. Who cares?” he bantered playfully. “I’ll watch out for ‘em if they’re expensive.”

“They’re priceless,” you quipped back. “All of me is.”

“Good. You know your worth.”

You were actually worth about fifteen million, as according to your wanted status by the IPC. You weren’t sure if this man was a part of them, though members of the IPC were always very adamant on letting you know that, yes, they did work at the IPC. It was usually the first thing that came out of their mouths.

Questioning if they actually worked at the IPC opened another entire can of worms.

You didn’t feel the need to ask. Not in that moment, at least.

“And what’s yours?” you asked him with a bat of your lashes.

He winked. “Guess.”

You smiled and scanned him down again. “Depends. I’d have to see what you’re made of.”

“Naughty.” He leaned back against the wall with you. “You sure you don’t want that drink? It’s a cosmopolitan.”

Very sure. You were convinced that he’d just taken the drink from one of the server’s trays. You couldn’t imagine he’d walked up to the bar and requested it for himself.

“You strike me as a whiskey man,” you eased. It came past your lips like butter.

He flashed his teeth in warning.

Then, he sipped his drink. “You’re good. Anything else you can read with your fancy eyes?”

You stopped short.

He did know. It wasn’t a surprise, not at all. He wasn’t entirely human. He must have been equipped with similar technology to realise just how advanced yours was.

You realised then with a shaky breath that you had the same vision enhancements as he did. An even match, unable to read through to each other.

He must have had so much more, too. You only had so many enhancements, whereas he was made almost entirely of metal. The thought of amount of different codings and technology he had crammed into every wire of his body gave you a headache.

Bad idea. You shouldn’t have provoked him. You needed to retreat. You needed to get home, preferably safely, with the USB stored nice and snug in your purse.

You tried not to let your nervousness show, but by the way he was staring at you, you knew he could read your face.

“That’s it, then. You’ve figured out my party trick.” You got up from the wall. “Thank you for the offer. The drink, I mean.” You cleared your throat. “I’ll be going now.”

“I’m not scaring you off, am I?” He got up off the wall too.

He hadn’t taken his eyes off of you.

“Not at all.” When you turned to face him, he was smiling so wide his eyes had crinkled. “Have a good night.”

“At least let me walk you out,” he insisted. He also offered to hold your purse, to which you quickly declined. That only made him smile impossibly wider. “What sort of man am I to not see a pretty thing like you get home safe?”

You headed towards the hallway, knowing he was right behind you.

The banquet was still in full swing, barely even close to ending. Most of the cast were drunk or getting there. Heels had been discarded, some missing their pair, skewed all over the dancefloor like glitter.

The golden chandelier in the main room was yet to be pulled from the ceiling. You were surprised nobody had tried to swing from it yet.

You dodged chattering groups and couples in the hallway—one of them had decided to put on a full display while right next to an unoccupied bedroom, right there in the centre of the hall.

Another one was gagging dangerously close to your feet.

You shouldered past them. “Stop following me, Ranger.”

“Don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be.” You felt his hair brush over your shoulder.

You knew he had a weapon. He wouldn’t have come to threaten you without one.

Before you could reach the door handle, he grabbed your wrist, pulled you backwards, and into the unoccupied guest room that the couple hadn’t bothered to take.

He shut the door with a loud slam, though not before hearing someone whistle out in the corridor.

Your head snapped towards him. He was leaning on the door, his arms crossed, looking almost unbothered.

“We can play this game all day, pumpkin. I got time.” He waved you off with a grin. “Give me the files. I’m askin’ nicely. I won’t force ya to hand ‘em over. Yet.”

You gritted your teeth.

You were so fucking close. So close to getting out of here, and then he had to come—this walking hunk of metal and scrap—and ruin everything.

Nothing ever went your fucking way anyway. You shouldn’t have been shocked something like this would happen.

You held your purse tightly in your hands. All of this was pointless. The dress, the heels, the hair, the nails, the makeup. All of it.

You just hoped by some miracle that he hadn’t found your locator beacon yet. You’d hidden it well; within the bushes outside away from anyone’s line of sight, but he wasn’t just anyone. He could see things a lot of people couldn’t.

“C’mon. You know you wanna…” He smiled sweetly for good measure. It looked like a threat. When he leaned to the side, the golden barrel of a gun flashed beneath his belt.

You could try to make a backup. Right then. You had what you needed in your watch. He’d probably stop you before it was complete.

Or…

Or what? What else could you do?

Your locator beacon wasn’t responding, though it hadn’t been broken. Most likely deactivated temporarily. You bounced on your heels.

You then formed the worst idea of your life.

With shaky hands, you walked towards him slowly. You reached into your purse, feeling for the cold plastic of the black USB he wanted to get his grubby hands on.

“Knew you’d come ‘round.” He held out his hand expectantly.

You fished the USB from your bag.

Then, before you could place it into his palm, you tripped and almost broke your nose on his torso. Your hands splayed desperately onto his chest to keep your face from shattering on impact.

He was quick to grab your arms to steady you with a surprised grunt.

There was a whirring sound, and then the sound of something mechanical and wrong. Foreign. Not from his body, but from yours.

The spaces beneath his joints lit up abright yellow for a moment before his hands loosened from your arms.

You grinned. Gotcha.

When you pulled back, he witnessed you pull a strange light from beneath his skin before you held it along your fingers.

When he blinked, you had an entire copy of his body in the palm of your hand. A hologram formed of his entire artificial makeup. Every crevice of his body, all of the metal that weaved to make him who he was.

All of it in your hand, with puppet strings attached.

It was missing just his head.

He froze. And then, he rushed out a simple, “what did you do?”

You tapped on his holographic arm on the screen. “Hijacked.”

When you moved it, his arm twitched to life.

Against his will, he pulled the gun from his holster and dropped it to the floor. It clattered uselessly onto the carpet.

He could only simply stare as his body moved against his will. There was no way to even twitch a finger with all his might.

It was like you had shut down all of his systems and replaced them with your own.

He should’ve seen this coming.

You whistled as you studied the model of him in your hands. When you tapped onto his neck, it zoomed in to show every single wire and thread of metal, as well as an accompanying string of coding.

“I don’t need any special enhancements to read you. What sort of cyborg comes in alone to try and stop me? You know who I am, don’t you?”

He wasn’t able to move his body. He said not a word.

“Somebody clearly doesn’t understand their body.” You patted his chest. His fans had kicked in. You could hear them whirring.

He was glaring at you.

“Did the IPC send you?”

After a moment, he scoffed. “Hardly. I don’t work for those… people.” It seemed like he wanted to say something else, but decided against it.

“Huh.” You didn’t think he was lying. “So… you’re not concerned about my bounty?”

“You said yourself you were priceless,” he countered easily. Despite his position, he was still grinning. “And besides, I’m sure my bounty is heaps bigger than yours.”

You almost snapped. He’d come to gloat, even at a disadvantage.

“You look better with your mouth shut,” you spat. You shoved the lining of code in his face for him to see, making the holographic blue screen as large as you possibly could. “I could make you tear yourself apart. I could make you forget who you are. I could alter whatever sort of brain you have in there. Watch yourself.”

Still glaring, but this time his lips sealed almost instantly.

You made him stand ram rod straight as you turned around, now eyeing a golden vanity next to the bed. The bedroom was surprisingly clean, save for a few empty glasses strewn about. No stains, no messes.

You sat down in the chair and angled the mirror so you could keep your eye on him.

You breathed out, trying not to stare at him for too long. You could feel your irritation growing, and it was showing on your face. If you stared at him for any longer, you feared you’d pull his limbs off with your own bare hands.

You fished out the powder from your purse and leaned closer to the mirror.

Maybe if you looked better, you’d feel better.

“You’re seriously dollin’ yourself up right now?” he asked, briskly annoyed.

You dabbed the sponge beneath your eyes. “Can’t let anyone think I let you put your hands on me. I have standards.”

He had nice hair. You weren’t sure if it was real, though. You weren’t sure if he could even grow hair. He was almost entirely artificial, save for his head.

He didn’t seem to age—his face, at least. You weren’t sure how old he was supposed to be, but his organic skin still looked fresh, as if left untouched and well taken care of.

Maybe it’s because that was all he had left of him.

You snapped the powder shut.

The ranger sneered. “Yeah, yeah. I’d beat you in a fight anyway.”

“‘Course you would,” you answered easily. You pulled a stick of gloss from your bag. You swiped the lipgloss over your lips, fixing it with the tip of your nail. “That’s not what I’m talking about, though.”

You stood from the chair, placing the gloss back in your purse.

“You’d never hit me, would you?”

His face almost lit up with fury.

It was absolutely hilarious.

“You’re so lucky I can't move,” he threatened. “You wouldn’t recognise your pretty face in the mirror.”

“Such a gentleman.” You stood on the tips of your toes to press your lips to his cheek. You hoped the sticky gloss bothered him, knowing he would be unable to wipe it off of him. You hoped it stained his milky skin a nice glittery bubblegum pink.

You hoped the scent of your perfume lingered on his skin, and he never forgot your name.

“Of course, gorgeous.” That same mocking tone. “Anything for you.”

You held the USB up to his lips. “Open.”

Begrudgingly, he did so.

You slipped the stick past his lips until his teeth caught onto the plastic and held it still.

“You can have it. I already got what I needed anyway.”

You kissed his other cheek for good measure, lingering for a moment before you pulled away. Two pink glittering stains on his face now; perfectly symmetrical.

“I’ll be thinking of you.” And that you would. You winked at him. “Bye, Boothill.”

Then, with sudden grid lines of yellow forming over your figure, the locator beacon buzzed to life, and you disappeared.

In the blink of an eye, you were outside in the cold night air. There were few people out in the front garden of the building, and none had spotted you.

You picked up the gadget and quickly left. A copy of his body and the USB were now a collection in your own personal belongings.

As soon as you vanished, Boothill regained control of his limbs and fell to the floor, trembling with the after effects of your invasion. His teeth were gritted as he pulled himself up onto the guest bed.

He spat the USB out before he could bite down and damage it.

He held it between his thumb and index finger.

There was a smear of your lipgloss on the side of the USB stick.

Mission accomplished, he supposed.

He also had two matching lipgloss stains on his skin as a trophy. He could see how stupid he looked in the vanity mirror.

He snickered with clenched, shaking fists.

You smelled like strawberry.

#boothill x reader #hsr x reader #boothill x you #hsr x you #$. the macrocosmos #$. save a horse ride a cowboy Amen.#$. oh boothill the man you are #honkai star rail x reader #boothill hsr

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babyjakes · 5 months

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help me hold onto you.

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | kinkmas 2023

prompt | sex pollen

pairing | steve rogers x avenger!reader

warnings | sex pollen (reader was exposed to some sort of chemical agent that induced a persistent state of hyperarousal.) medical elements (reader is staying in the medbay.) crying (not related to the sexual interactions.) stevie is soooo soft :')). dialogue is soft and sweet, gentle praise and encouragement included. fingering. tummy rubs bc they make me soft. she comes quick! intense, prolonged orgasm. the beginnings of aftercare.

word count | 1,356

"Hey, hey- okay. I'm here, sweetheart. I'm here. Just tell me what you need."

Steve's brow was raised in gentle concern as he stood over your hospital bed. Dr. Banner had set you up in a secluded room at the end of the medbay, wanting to give you as much privacy as possible given the nature of your condition. It was still all a bit baffling to Steve; Bruce had shared any information he had available on the mysterious chemical you'd been exposed to out on your mission to a foreign bioweaponry facility, but most of it had gone in one of the supersoldier's ears and out the other. "Persistent heightened state of arousal" was the only phrase he was able to cling to, which still didn't feel like much to go off of.

As he stood there at your bedside, though, those words were all of a sudden making a lot more sense. You were a pitiful sight, really- curled up on your side with your knees hugged up to your chest. Your whole body was shaking, something that tore at your teammate's heart as he came to better terms with the severity of the state you were in. Overcome with obvious discomfort, all you could do was lie there and rub your sore knees together uselessly. Your hands reached out for him needily; in an instant, he was lowering himself down to sit beside you, leaning over you attentively as his face filled with concern.

"Oh doll," he hummed, reaching out to brush back your hair with a steady hand. Your forehead was drenched in sweat, your big eyes looking up at him pleadingly. As another wave of unbearable heat rolled over you, tears were building in your eyes. "How can I help, sweet girl?" Steve was pressing, "Is there anything I can do?"

In a moment of total weakness, you reached out for him again. This was completely abnormal behavior for you. Being the youngest and newest to the team, you were always intentional about maintaining an image of responsibility and restraint. But as Steve sat there at your side, his steel blue eyes looking over you so thoughtfully as he gently offered you his hands, your hijacked mind was fixating on him faster than you could realize what was happening.

"P-please," the weakness of your small voice broke Steve's heart. He nodded encouragingly, wanting to do anything he could to ease your suffering.

"What is it, honey? Hmm? What do you need?" he asked soothingly.

More tears built in your eyes as you failed to generate a verbal response. Instead, all you could do was continue to writhe pathetically. Steve's brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of your movements. "Does something hurt?" You whimpered feebly at his question, shaking your head. "No, then what is it, sweetheart? Can you tell me, or- or show me?"

Desperation drove your every move as you shifted slightly onto your back, your knees falling apart as you brought a shaking hand down to motion over your hospital gown toward where the sensations were accumulating. If Steve was surprised or offended by your admission, he didn't let it show. Instead, he simply nodded, speaking with an understanding tone, "It's bothering you there, darlin'? Do you want me to take a look?"

Your wide, pleading eyes were enough to answer his question. Pausing, he took a moment to consider the best way to proceed. After a quick glance back at the door to the hallway, seeing that the coast was seemingly clear, he gently brought his hands over to lift up the thin fabric of the gown, pulling it back to expose the area you had pointed to. Steve couldn't help but gasp softly as he saw the ramifications for the first time; any doubts he could've had about the compound's strength or effects were immediately shot down as he faced the living, breathing evidence.

"Oh honey," he crooned worriedly, leaning his head down a bit to get a better look. Your pussy was so puffy it almost looked painful. Your clit was swollen to about three times its normal size, pulsating visibly in unison with your heavy heartbeat. Bruce had placed a wide gauze pad beneath you, and it wasn't hard to see why; with the constant state of arousal your body was trapped in, you were amassing an impressive amount of self-lubricant. Face drawn in disbelief and honest fascination, Steve struggled to find words to console you. "Sweetie, what can I do? Let me help you," his voice was swelling with concern. Swallowing hard, his gaze returned up to your face. "Can I-... would it help if I-... you know...?" The sweetest hint of pink rose up in his cheeks.

You were unsure of what would happen if he tried, but with the way your stomach was lurching and spasming in excitement at the mere thought, both you and Steve knew it would be senseless to not at least give it a try. Sensing your mild confliction, the supersoldier took a moment to brush back your hair again as his soothing voice filled the air, "It's alright, doll. Let me take care of you. S'just me, just Stevie. I'll be gentle, I promise."

As he spoke, he gently drew his hand down to begin rubbing at your inner thigh. Letting out a squeak of surprise, your heart jumped at the way his touch immediately sent sparks shooting up through your tangled nerves. "Easy," he hummed lowly, pushing on you carefully to encourage you to open up your legs a little further. Once you were nice and spread out for him, he took another deep breath. "Okay darlin'. Just keep breathing for me," he seemed to be trying to calm his own nerves as much as he was yours.

With the lightest amount of pressure he could manage, Steve carefully brought his pointer and middle middle fingers to sink slightly into your pool of arousal. They didn't linger long, as they then slowly dragged up your wetness to smear over your enlarged clit. The moment he came in contact with your poor button, your world was set ablaze. You had never felt such unbearable heat in your life; it was as if every atom within your core was being blasted into smithereens, an incredible amount of energy and pressure building up inside of you as a result.

"Easy, easy- shhhh," Steve was doing his best to talk you through it, watching as your hands scrambled to grip the sheets below you, your hips rocking in shameless desperation.

"Mm.... mmhh... hhh..." you struggled through incoherent whines. The man brought his free hand over to rub your tummy gently, trying to give you any sense of comfort and safety he could as he continued working the pads of his fingers in careful, steady circles.

It only took a few more moments of the simple stimulation to send an orgasm ripping through you with unimaginable force; as Steve saw your climax hit, his eyes widened, but he was intent on carrying you through it. Needy cunt spasming around nothing, your clit jerked and jolted beneath his tender traces. Your eyes were rolling back in your head, your whole body at the mercy of the waves of pleasure crashing over you.

And you kept coming, and coming, and coming- trapped in the grips of your orgasm for what must have been minutes compared to the fleeting moments you were usually granted. "Good, let it out," Steve was murmuring softly, watching as all your pent-up frustration was slowly pulled from your seizing body.

When you were finally winding down, breathless and slumped against the flimsy mattress beneath you, he was careful to pull his hands away with the utmost care to avoid causing you any further discomfort or unwanted stimulation. As he stood momentarily to find something to wipe his hands with, you let out a shaky whimper. "No, no, I'm here," he quickly returned to your side, retaking his place next to you on the cot. "I'm right here, doll. You're okay. Here, let me clean you up a bit, honey."

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hdiabolical · 16 days

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A Mirror in Half-Light

18+ 1.5k. homelander x supe f!reader. blood, dirty talking, cunnilingus, use of telepathic powers, acts of violence mentioned (not between reader and HL)

From someone so concerned with shielding his mind, Homelander quickly comes to appreciate your telephatic powers and how useful they can be. Especially during a boring Seven meeting.

prompt sent by @infinetlyforgotten, thank you so much 🤍

When you were first introduced to the Seven, many, including your new colleagues, compared you to Mindstorm. Sure, there were some similarities—the ability to see a person’s thoughts or to project specific images. But that’s where it ended.

The ace up to your sleeve, which distinguishes you and earned your supe name as Quickstep, is both your telepathic precognition, giving you leverage in hand to hand combat, and your crown and glory—possession. Supe or non-supes, all could have their minds hijacked by you; an ability Vought decided not to publicize.

Your fellow partners in fighting crime knew, though; and from day one you could feel Homelander watching you with suspicion, a stare so filled with distaste your knees almost buckled.

Seeing you in a corridor, Homelander signaled for you to approach.

“Quickstep,” he sneered, invading your personal space until he towered over you and your neck ached from looking so high up. “If I catch you using your little powers on me, be sure I’ll crack your spine. It’ll be easier than stomping on an ant. Got it?” His sudden artificial smile did nothing to lessen the weight of his words.

Homelander was your hero, always, since childhood. Not only that, ever since you saw him for the first time, the shining blue eyes, the softness of his blonde hair, that commanding voice... You were a goner. And he most certainly knew. The disappointment almost, almost broke your heart.

Little by little, however, with the unspoken promise you wouldn’t pry on his mind, you’d grown close. Partners in fighting crime, yeah, of course, but you had his back, no matter what.

In one of your missions together, Homelander smeared in an innocent’s blood from head to toe, your first instinct was to help him—clean the mess. And you couldn’t lie, him in his violence and brutality did something to you.

“Hey, you,” you murmured. “Let me help you, okay? Let me take care of it. Let me protect you.”

Surprisingly, he acquiesced. It took no more than minutes to possess the mind of some poor bystanders, having them fight and commit atrocious acts; they wouldn’t know what came over them and Vought would be too happy not to disclose. In quick action, the narrative changed; from rabid supe, to terrorist crowd.

Later, you found yourself in his penthouse, in his bathtub, naked and cleaning the gore as he squeezed your waist. When you sealed your relationship with a bloodied kiss, you knew there was no turning back—and you loved it. Loved his quirks, his humor, his beautiful nose and soft hair, loved his flaws and all that came with it. Loved the tie that bound you forever.

“I love you. I love you so much,” you whispered in his ear as you lay in his bed, a few hours before your meeting with the rest of the Seven. “I ache for you all the time. It overflows, sometimes.” You giggled, remembering when your desire burned you so passionately, so intensely, your mind had one focal point: Homelander and what he could do to your body. Without realizing, all your wants and needs were suddenly projected on his mind.

In the first time, you were fearful he’d throw a fit, but he simply grinned devilish at you.

“Wow,” he laughed. “If I’d known more about your dirty little mind I would have put it to use a long time ago, babe.”

After that, it became a fixture, in bed, in daily moments where voicing your thoughts wasn’t an option, or in missions when silent communication was useful. And bit by bit, he delighted in it, veritable proof of your devotion and love.

As it were, in this stolen moment, cuddled in his bed, he answered. “And I love you, my darling, My own mirror.” He nuzzled your neck. “No need to scream in my mind, I’m gonna eat your pretty pussy until you beg me to stop.”

“I’d never,” you said breathily.

Slowly kissing from your collarbone, to your stomach and thighs, mischievously looking you in the eye as he bit and kissed and licked everywhere around your cunt. His strength was enough to keep you in the exact place he wanted. Such a delicious torture.

Finally he turned his attention to your clit, dragging his tongue over it in elaborate patterns—he was relentless, and you both moaned at the contact. You were loud, thrashing and screaming at the slightest touch, but only for him. He played your body perfectly.

Your hands found his hair, soft to the touch, and yanked, wanting him closer and he groaned—the vibrations going straight to your core. Soon he started tongue-fucking, just as you liked it, going deep and slow, alternating to trace your slit from your asshole to your clit; not one part of you ignored.

“Fuck, you taste so good. You’re fucking made for me, your pussy is mine, mine, understand that?”

“It’s yours! It’s all yours. Please, Homelander, please—”

“Please what?”

“Let me come, let me come in your mouth, I want to feel you.” It was all too much, the mess his tongue made, the wetness running down your pussy and dripping in the mattress.

Moaning, he plunged two fingers deep inside you, as he squeezed your ass, bringing you even closer. You cried from the pleasure he woke in you, and even in this madness you caressed his hair, closing your legs until he was in the position you liked most: with a perfect view of his face, his soft locks, his bright eyes.

He smirked, squeezing you tighter, until you no longer touched the bed, and he slapped your ass so hard your whole body trembled.

“Like that, princess? Like when I do whatever the fuck I want with your sweet body? Now show me. Show me what you want.”

You complied instantly.

You imagined him feasting on your pussy, licking it all until his spit and your slick became one and the same. His fingers marking your ass, your thighs; biting so deeply even your invulnerable skin would cleave to his superior strength. You wanted his tongue deep inside you, for yours on end, fucking your pussy so good your legs would spasm and you would scream for all the Tower to hear, pussy clenching just the way he liked. You wanted it all—Homelander slurping on your clit and swirling his tongue, making you squirt and swallowing it all, leaving his chin a beautiful fucking mess.

In the aftermath, body boneless and exhausted, you wanted his fingers, for him to drag it all over your juices and make you swallow and gag on it. Then, in a little tenderness, he'd give you a breathtaking kiss, further proof of your intimate lovemaking.

As you projected all of this on his mind, his smile grew bigger, more wicked. And you knew he'd deliver it, or even more.

“You really are such a slut.” You giggled; it was all in the game.

Later on, as all the Seven were debating their latest terrorist attack, and what plan they'd need to put in action, all you could think was Homelander. His hands on you, his tongue lapping at your clit and his disheveled hair—which, you noticed, he didn't fix for the meeting. It wasn't fair, he was too mean at taunting you.

You couldn't keep your eyes off of him and he knew. Flashes of your morning together ran through your mind. No matter how satisfied you'd been, you wanted more, again, all the time. You wanted his kisses and devastation, his head between your legs and his mouth both teasing and giving you the most world-shattering pleasure.

You wanted to caress his hair, your newfound obsession, while he fucked you, hiting that sweet spot and filling you up with his come.

In your daydreams, you tuned out from the conversation, and like being burned you found Homelander staring straight at you, an expression oh so familiar. Unintentionally he'd become the spectator of your fantasies.

Rising from his chair so quickly you barely caught it, Homelander said, “That's enough for today. I have other things to take care of. Quickstep, you stay.”

Whispers of complaint were quickly shut down, as Homelander glared at them until each and everyone left the room.

“Well, well, seems like someone is still wantin' for more.”

He laid his hands on your chair, then turned it so you were face to face.

“I couldn't help it,” you smirked. “I can't get enough.”

“But that's not fair, don't you think?" He clucked his tongue. "It's your turn to please me.” He pulled you from the chair, and manhandled you until you fell to your knees with a thud. “Now, princess, get to work.”

#homelander #homelander x reader #homelander x you #homelander fanfiction #the boys #the boys amazon #the boys x you #the boys x reader #requests #my writing #smut #infinetlyforgotten

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wickedusername · 1 month

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Apple Red

Curse!Reader x Mahito || 18+ MDNI

Synopsis:

In which our favorite shape shifting psychopath discovers the wonders of sex with someone equally fucked up in the head, all under a philosophical motif of the Knowledge Argument/Mary's Room, a thought experiment posing that certain mental states can't be known unless you experience them yourself.

A/n: Bringing this over from AO3! It was brought about in my annoyance at every Mahito fic being non-con and others yet thinking the man is illiterate. Listen, he may have been born yesterday but he's read more philosophy than you and me. This has an overarching Mary's room motif, skim it over, your enjoyment will be increased threefold. Just like your cl- Wikipedia article if you can't watch.

Tw: dead dove: do not eat, body horror, sadomaso, asphyxiation/choking, blood kink, double penetration, p in v, anal, murder kink, necrophilia mention, shapeshifting. However!! praise kink, body worship, dirty talk, consensual sex, size kink, no actual murder takes place.

Word count: 6,1k words

Epigraph:

He lowered his abs over your back again and got close to your ear. Licks, pecks and bites peppered your back, popping up in places you know mouths shouldn't be. “The pleasure of your wet, gorgeous pussy, deep and clenching for me… No dead or unwilling thing has it. You'll come for me again, won't you, dearie?

"Absolutely feral” is not enough to describe what was going on between you and Mahito. He groped every part of you, your ass, your thighs, your breasts, the fat on your hips. Arms scratched and pinched at the muscle and fat on every part of your torso with his fingers. All while his tongue licked all over your mouth and lips, swirled around yours, elongated down to your throat. His jaw took in more and more like he would gobble you up. You had your hands way up under his poncho, scratching his back to raw flesh.

This had started as a conversation. You were barely a sketch of a curse, not rivaling the strength of the other ones you knew, but shapely enough to pass as human to those who could see you. You tried your best to mind your own business and stay in hiding, fully aware the persecution of sorcerers could end you in one fell swoop. The unfinished subway station you liked to call home was where you spent most of your time. Nestled between the decaying scaffolding, the staff room was where you sat with him, the only furnished room among the many half-finished nooks of the construction site. The bare surfaces didn't bother you, and the room had remained thankfully untouched in the two or so years since construction was halted and abandoned.

You, however, neglected none of the room. Whenever you had the chance to be around humanoid curses, you made a point to invite them over. You loved to banter and befriend, but just as much as you loved to occasionally hit the jackpot for one that you could sleep with. You didn't care to investigate your origins, but you weren’t born of anything family-friendly, you knew that much.

You'd known Mahito for a while. He was introduced to you by Kenjaku, an annoying body-hijacker who'd seeked to recruit you for his revolutionary cause. You wanted none of it, especially keen on self-preservation, but the two of you had hit it off. Two curses of the psyche had plenty to commiserate about, so you often hung around each other. And you'd just now managed to have him in your nest. Of course it wasn't every time you dragged someone to your staff room that you wanted to fuck them, and you certainly wouldn't mind if it led nowhere. But he was the most human of all curses – maybe of all there were – so of course you wanted to ask him about sex. To your surprise, his opinions were less than satisfactory.

“It's not as good as murder, to be honest.” He tapped the arm of the couch he was slouched on, staring you down with conflicting feelings. It was definitely not what he was here to talk about, but it did leave him curious.

“Are you serious? You've been doing it on things that don't move, haven't you?” It was the explanation you could conoct for why he would think that.

“I can make them move, you know? I've put the parts together, it's just not all that.” He retorted.

“It's about more than the parts. It's the entirety of the person you're with.”

“I've tried full, intact humans. The first one I, uh… killed them by accident. Another one I killed beforehand and they start going cold and don't feel as nice. I kinda gave up after that, I really don't see how it's so hyped.”

“Yeah, that's not the fun way to do it. You're trying to get on the level of fragile, puny humans.” You looked to the side in pure contempt.

The disgust for human weakness nearly seeped out of you. You'd tried humans, and as good as sex was with anyone, you also boasted similar results. You had no need to kill or force, like he likely did. They flocked to you. It was easy, it was your nature. But it always ended in a body to discard. You did wonder, partly, if it was in the inherent fact of being a curse that your drive to fulfill your desire ended in human death. But killing wasn't the drive you yearned for, and you were more than happy to have something that would live to fuck another day. It was the whole reason you enjoyed other curses much more, anyway.

“Alright, I'll bite.” Mahito smiled. “What's the fun way?”

Your lips curled into a smile worth a hundred bucks. Now here you were, gripping his hair, licking his teeth and waiting eagerly for what came next.

Mahito lifted you up into his lap with what seemed like two arms wrapping around your thighs like thick belts. Two others squished and pulled on your asscheeks, torturing them, digits slipping forward to tease your clothed entrance from below. You wrapped your legs and arms around him, even though you didn't need to make much strength to be carried around. Against your belly, his hard-on pushed a tent on his leather pants. He pulled away from you with a laugh.

“This really isn't bad!”

“We haven't even started.” you leaned into his ear, scraping your lips against it before biting hard at his earlobe. “The fun part is that you can fuck me up”.

His eyes gleamed with fun and desire.

“How?” He pinned you against one of the walls. His smile was unnaturally wide, tugging at the muscles of his cheeks, pushing them up against his lower eyelids that squeezed against his fiery wide glare.

“However you want.” Your own stare burned with passion, knowing the idea of destroying you would fuel his fire to the maximum.

His dick twitched in his pants, achingly hard. A fifth arm stretched out of his stitched, toned right shoulder. His hand caressed the side of your face, combing your hair slowly back, tucking it behind your ear, before gripping your face roughly and pushing your head against the wall. He deformed it, veins and muscles bulging and pulsing in waves through your face and down your neck, while you healed up, undoing his damage and rolling your eyes back into your head. You savored his torture. His mismatched eyes burned with glee and he laughed, near maniacally, at your enjoyment.

“You-! You are too much fun!” He licked his lips and continued to cackle, like he had a front seat in the world's best joyride.

“More from the inside.” You teased. You lowered your hand to his pants and wrapped your fingers around the outline of his dick. He hissed as you stroked him, making you bite your lip at the sound.

The hand that was deforming your face stopped its transfiguring and moved to the top of your head, where it pulled your hair. He pressed your body further against the wall, giving you enough stability to bring both your hands to his pants, unzip them and allow his cock to spring free from the leather. You wrapped your hand around it and stroked him. Starting at the base, where it sprouted through the patch of brown fur that framed it, all the way to its pink round head. Your other hand caressed his abdomen, circling and clawing at the stitches in his cum gutters.

Mahito moaned and bucked his hips into your touch, squeezing your ass and thighs harder, pulling on your hair tighter. His eyes fluttered and his mouth hung open, before his sight landed on your chest, rising and falling under your tight fit shirt.

You encouraged him with a hum and the hand that was pulling your hair moved downwards, where its forearm split into halves. They promptly scrunched the cloth at the neck seam, one on each side, and ripped it apart, turning it to a cluster of circular tatters hanging from your waist and arms. His lips let out a long loud breath with the aftersound of a suppressed moan, almost like he was trying not to drool at the sight. He buried his face in your chest with nothing but nirvana in his mind.

You held the back of his head and nuzzled his hair as you kept stroking him, his pleasure-filled expression hidden between your breasts. Your breaths were heavy, and he would not stop letting out quiet grunts at your handjob. His hands roughly massaged your ass and the flesh belts around your thighs cut circulation to your feet, making them tingle. The arm that had split in two reunified, being joined by a sixth on the left side, and they both fondled your breasts. Mahito squeezed his face between the mounds and placed unrestrained bites and licks on them. When he felt himself getting close, he placed his lips against your ribs and muttered into them.

“You were right. I need the rest of it. I need to get in you.”

Mahito gripped your shoulders and slammed you against the wall once again, making you fumble the stroking rhythm you had. With the other pair of arms he gripped your asscheeks like rough dough and pulled you against him, rubbing his dick over your crotch. His nails dug in to the point of piercing cloth.

He brought his arms down from your breasts to fumble with the string of your pants. Unable to pull them or rip them away because of your legs around him, he turned around and let go of your ass, making you fall head-first into the floor. An unpleasant cracking was heard and blood splattered in a beautiful halo around your head, and you just healed the concussion shut. The only thing off the floor were your legs, still held at the sides of his hips. He stepped back and pulled your pants off with two hands at the rim and the two belts at the thighs, now sliding down to your knees and shins. When the pants were off, he tossed them to the side and recoiled the belts back into his body.

With now four arms, he crawled over you and pressed your legs apart. Mahito ripped the underwear you had like it was made of paper, throwing the pieces to the side. He held his dick in one hand, gently rubbing the head against your labia.

“God, I'm going to ruin you.” He grinned with a sing-sing tune of pure glee.

You grabbed him by the poncho and pulled him down to your level so you could talk.

“Think I'm not already rotten?” You whispered into his ear and licked your bottom lip, awaiting his response.

Instead of a witty remark, he just buried himself into you until bottoming out. He bit his lip and swallowed a big gulp, and you salivated with lascivious anticipation watching the stitches on his neck rise and fall from the movement.

“Fuck… This is good.” He muttered almost resentfully.

He threw his head back and enjoyed the feeling of your warm cunt. It was slicker than whatever he had before. Deeper. Warmer. Everything about the real thing, with the wetness and interaction of a willing participant, didn't compare to what he had done to transfigured humans, or to corpses, or to himself. Snapping back to reality, he started moving, and without much buildup he went right to pumping into you repeatedly. He was not at all mindful of still having his clothes on, of being on the cold floor, or even recalled being able to transfigure you while he was at it. All he could enjoy was the feeling.

You gripped the cloth falling over his back and started bunching it over his stitched shoulders, tucking his hair out of the way. When you got to the rim, you pulled the poncho over his head and he carelessly shoved it aside, shaking it off of the single arm that was stuck in its segmented sleeve. His hair fell forward with the movement and it now hung over you, grazing and tickling your chest. The view of his abs over you as he pounded was significantly better than a damn windowpane poncho.

Your own hands were busy as you tugged forcefully on a strand of his hair and decided to touch yourself, bringing about the familiar buildup of heat and electricity in the pit of your stomach. He noticed your hand and soon had it joined by an extra mouth, sprouting comically forward from his lower abdomen, right through his treasure trail. The mouth licked right with and over your fingers, and soon you were holding your pussy open for him, pressing down on your labia with your fingers. Their occasional twitching, your body's way to dispel some of the tension it was building.

“Do you want to feel what it's like when something comes around you? When they squeeze with you inside?” You teased, coaxing dirty talk out of him.

“I do… Come and scream my name. Fuck, I want to watch your face while you do it.”

“Then fuck me harder…” You mewled. His thrusts got stronger and he brought one of the arms sustaining his torso to grip your shoulder and push you harder against him with every pound. Your back chafed against the concrete, ripping at the skin of your scapulas. The mouth on your clit latched on and flicked its tongue around, catching the bud repeatedly.

Mahito lifted the last arm that sustained his torso from the floor, putting his weight on your thighs with the other pair. It forced them higher. It made your muscles sting. You unfolded your knees and placed your calves on his shoulders, and the position was riveting. He placed that hand on your mouth, where he pulled your lips, pinched your tongue, enjoyed the drool. Mahito straightened his back, lifting his torso away from your face. He ended up gripping your lower jaw like a handle, his knuckles under your tongue and thumb pressing into the soft spot under your chin. His nails cut the bottom of your mouth and he probably dislocated your jaw a couple of times with his thrusting, but fuck if you cared.

Your eyes rolled over as the heat built up higher and your toes curled around nothing. You thrashed your feet about in restlessness and the hands holding your thighs apart just tightened their grip, wavering with the movement of the muscles underneath them. You called out to him as promised and came around him. The pressure washed away in waves, rolling over you one by one in electric spasms. The tongue in the abdominal mouth flattened against your clit and you let it lick a trail slowly upwards. He could barely process his thoughts when the first spasm jolted your lower region.

“Ma- a- Ah!!” you fumbled your attempt to utter his name a second time.

“Ah...! Shit!” His eyes shot open and his mouth hung agape as you clenched around his dick.

He lost the regularity in his thrusting and let his sight glaze over, twitching at the feeling of your slick. The pulse brought him over the edge, and before your orgasm had fully waived he was moaning and pumping sloppily into you, spurting warm cum through your insides. His moans were even louder than yours, and his arms shook from the pleasure. Your half-lidded eyes framed by sweat met his and he had to shut them and turn his head away so he wouldn't be distracted. He moaned with the shivers that ran down his legs, his abdomen spasming and clenching. The abdominal mouth hung and drooled against your crotch, devoid of mind.

“Shit… you got so tight.” Mahito sighed, catching his breath, still coming down from his high.

“Isn't it so nice? You'll have to make me come again if you want more of that.” you giggled, partly trying to convince him to please you harder.

“Oh, I'll do so much more than make you come.” The man shook his head softly and looked down on you with a grin.

He didn't have such an issue as a refractory period. As soon as his dick went soft, he just made himself a new one and pushed that within you instead.

“Ah… More…” you cooed after his first few thrusts and it gave him a brand new idea.

Without ever pulling out, he made his cock a full double its volume. It shifted with delicious waves to the length of his foot and the thickness of a wrist. You bit your lips feeling its growth inside you, expanding your walls tighter. He pulled it out just to tease and even pushing it back took a little effort. The member stretched you open, the friction helped by all the wet and seed already inside. You felt a tinge of pride in your own pussy for taking it. He went right back to fucking. The pounding of this new dick made you feel so delightfully full, and the mild pain of his tip hitting your cervix was nothing but seasoning to your masochism. He wouldn't slide all the way in, instead he just pushed against the spongy back of your pussy until he felt too much resistance and slid back out, again and again.

The hand he once had in your mouth slithered down to your neck, where it was soon joined by the one that held your shoulder. He now had two hands on your thighs and two on your neck. He put his full weight on your trachea, and he seemed to love the feeling of wrapping his fingers around your small chunk of spine and muscle and grip it tight, with full suffocating intent. You couldn't breathe, but you didn't need to. His rhythmic slams against your cunt translated to his fingers digging harder and harder into your flesh, unrelenting as tugs on a zip tie. Pump after pump after pump, the pressure on your neck and on your cervix mixed in your head. They fought for your attention in turns with whichever felt strongest at any given second.

“Ah… I want to kill you so bad. I wanna blow you up into pieces.” Both arms pressed into your neck hard enough to scrunch it thin, folding the skin into rolls. He admired it as its color transitioned in a spotty gradient from pale to pink to red, to near grape under his fingers.

You couldn't talk, but you ran your finger under his chin and up his cheek, up to the stitches near his ear. You gripped the hair at the back of his head with both hands and held the blue-gray strands tight while he rolled repeatedly into you. He hissed in contentment at the feeling of you around him, at the sight of him around you, at the collapsing of your trachea under his hands. It made him way too aroused.

His gaze dropped slowly to your abdomen again and, with an intrusive thought, he decided to push into you until the base of his shaft. The pain stole your attention fully to your nether region. He pushed past any point of comfort into your cervix and gawked at the sight of your abdomen bulging ever so slightly to accommodate him. The sight made his dick twitch with the will to release. The feeling of pushing into your cervix past its intended size put wonderful pressure against his head. He pumped again and immediately had to stop himself because his stomach was coiling in pleasure against his will.

“Shit… I don't wanna come again already.” He let go of your neck and pulled out of you with haste, leaving with a loud sigh.

The curse panted loudly and stood up with laborious effort. He used this break to get his pants fully off. Both gasped for air, though you had much more of a reason. He wormed his legs out one after the other like boneless noodles and threw the pants in roughly the same direction where his poncho sat on the floor.

“You've made yourself such a gorgeous body.” you sat up and reached forward to grip the stitches in his thighs with admiration. You ran your digits over the raised clamps along the scar lines and resisted the urge to lean forward to kiss them. Mahito had kept human legs, even if the hairy patch around his base was still more like fur than pubes. Everything about his body was perfect to you. He snorted.

“You like it?” His smile widened. “How about this?”

With that, he split the dick mercilessly in half and reshaped both semicircles to the same girth as the first. He now had two wonderful shafts of exquisite size hanging from the soft brown fuzziness of his crotch.

“Fuck…” You whined, wordless except for the blushing in your cheeks and the glistening in your eyes. You scooted closer to him and sat up on your knees to get your mouth to the height where it could ghost over the shafts. You held them and fidgeted with their shapes, occasionally running your tongue along them, kissing their sides and cupping his balls. You looked up at him as you placed a hard lick over one of the tips and then the other in succession, tasting the precum that seeped from both. He could swear his balls ached at the sight.

“Get up and turn around for me?” Mahito grabbed both shafts and stepped back to keep you from worshiping them any longer. You bemoaned the loss, but got up and turned your back to him.

He embraced you with care and placed pecks on your neck. Mahito stretched an arm to the side and pushed the small wooden table that sat in the middle of the room against a wall. He walked forward with you until he had your legs pushing against the table’s edge and both of you faced the wall. You watched with wonder and a tinge of horror as a bramble of independent limbs split from his own and wrapped around the table.

Mahito placed a long, breathy kiss on your nape before putting his palm on your back and bending you over. You let him hold your wrists delicately and put them together above your head. He guided your forearms to lean against the wall, where he gripped them tight, making sure your hands wouldn't go anywhere. Two hands stretched from the table only to hold you by the lats, steadying you. Still carefully, the curse rubbed your shoulders and bent over you. He kissed your back and ran his other three hands down your sides, squeezing your anatomy and rubbing gentle scratches on the fats he could grip.

“You are being so wonderful, sweetheart.” Mahito placed kisses all over your back, his hair dragging ticklish paths along your sides. You looked back at him. The mood seemed to shift to something more loving than you ever expected.

“So caring all of a sudden? What's the matter, are you insecure about the b-- ahh?” He immediately shoved the top shaft inside your pussy until the base, shutting up any cocky comments coming out of you. The pain devolved your words into incoherence.

“You don't think I'm some kid, do you? I enjoy your teasing, but I'm inexperienced, not stupid. I'm being nice because I need you to relax if I want them both in.” He patted your butt and rubbed it in circles with both hands. “So you'll just enjoy it for me, yes?”

“I will… Mahito.” The line left you breathless. He was suddenly so much hotter than you'd thought. So far you thought you'd been commanding him, but it hadn't crossed your mind that he knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing.

As he was standing behind you, he had a perfect view of your entrance dripping for him and he gripped your asscheeks and hummed while looking down at it. The way your back arched so nicely against him when he rolled his hips into you was almost as riveting and the feeling of the bottom dick rubbing against your clit with his back and forth. He pushed a few times, letting his cockhead rub on the hood of your clit, before he reached one hand around your thigh to your crotch. The man felt for your clitoris and then gave his palm a mouth to eat you out with. His fingers sprawled under your entrance, where he kept slowly rocking against you.

“Not that you don't have something I didn't know, but the missing piece was feeling it. I know plenty. It's… a Mary's room situation.” He kept talking, earnest and lost in thought while his hand sucked and licked your clit, mindlessly rubbing and patting your curves in admiration. The second shaft twitched and smeared precum on the back of his hand. “I guess it's just that… I can be too rough for humans to have any of the good stuff, I assumed I just couldn't get it.”

He placed one palm on your back and you felt the most sensitive spot of your clit peek out and expand, becoming bigger, more sensitive. Within your muscles, nerve endings branched and reached, making the pleasure increase threefold. If before you were casually enjoying his eating out, now you spasmed and lost breath as the feeling moved you dangerously up the drop of a roller-coaster. You whined incoherent.

“But you… You've shown me the pleasure in them.” He lowered his abs over your back again and got close to your ear. Licks, pecks and bites peppered your back, popping up in places you know mouths shouldn't be. “The pleasure of your wet, gorgeous pussy, deep and clenching for me… No dead or unwilling thing has it. You'll come for me again, won't you, dearie?”

“Mahito- I'm- Ah, I'm-!” Your breath hitched with the building electricity.

“That's just what I wanted to hear!” He chuckled with a genuineness that felt out of place.

The roller-coaster stopped for only a second at the peak of chilling anticipation before dropping you into a storm of pleasure, washing away. You moaned without thought, the sound echoing against the walls and bringing heat to your cheeks with the embarrassment of your pathetic noises. Your legs shook and threatened to give in, but he had more than two arms holding you tight. As you came off it your heartbeat thumped in your ears, in your chest, in your clit.

He praised you as you came, closing his eyes to enjoy your spasming velvet walls around his dick. You felt like heaven, tight, swollen to all hell, plush, malleable as a squishy toy. He couldn't believe he'd willingly discarded it as literary hyperbole. It could be as good as he'd imagined, and it was breaking him. The red of Mary's apple, sitting right in front of his eyes.

Before your mind was back to the present, he pulled out his cock dripping with slick and pressed the tip softly against your ass. With the hand that ate you out, he gathered as much wetness and he could on his fingers by rubbing them between your folds and brought that hand to your anus, where his fingers entered you to spread it all around.

He now had one hand holding your arms and one in the small of your back angling your ass up at him, another one that thrusted softly into your anus and a final one held his top shaft, preparing it to enter. You had just come off your orgasm when he pushed the shaft inside, slowly against the resistance of your ring. The burn reminded you, what you'd almost forgotten by now, that his dicks were still unpleasantly too big.

You whined and he reassured you with shushes and pats until he was in to the hilt. “You said I can fuck you up and you can't take this much? You're disappointing me…”

“It's not- a complaint.” You clarified. It really wasn't, the noises you produced were entirely reflexive.

Mahito hummed in agreement and held the bottom shaft that peeked between your thighs. He pumped it with his fist to spread the excessive precum that seeped from the tip. It had been dripping, neglected since you last licked it. He curved it towards your pussy and pushed in. You felt stuffed, entirely full, with no space left for yearning, no matter how much arousal had deepened your canal. Especially with both their sizes, it was entirely too much.

“This… is so crazy good. Even when I'm not doing anything else…” Mahito sighed as he slid leisurely back and forth into the holes, fully devoted to feeling. The pleasure of a slick recipient was doubled, occupying more of his mind than anything else had. He gripped the back of your head without looking and felt the sticky matted dirt of blood on your hair.

“Hm? What's this from?” He removed his hand in surprise.

“You… when you got my pants off.” You murmured.

“I like it.” He brought the hand to his mouth and licked the blood off it. “I think I know what I want to do…”

“I don't care what you do, just fuck me… please…” you whimpered, growing desperate at his stalling. You tried remove your hands from his grip, but they were well secured above your head. He ran that thumb over your knuckles in consolation.

“Hm, like this?” He pulled back and slammed into you in mockery.

“Yes! Please…!” you nodded vigorously.

“Is that so? I think I would rather…” He vexed and extended two of his arms forward, where they wrapped around your neck and forehead to pull your head back as far as it could bend. Your neck ached and your mouth opened wide in an effort to relieve his grip on your neck. “Even like that?”

“Anything… please-!” You begged, filling up his sadistic ego.

“Aye aye then…” he cheerfully agreed.

He held your hip with his only free hand and pounded you, over and over, without restraint. The arms that held you stretched unnaturally long to allow him to straighten his posture and pound with his full body. Grunts left his lips that sounded entirely too hot to be caused just by effort.

Mahito kept a steady rhythm and pulled your head back with his hands, forcing every muscle in the front of your neck to stretch taut. Your sight was confined to your forearms rubbing against the unpainted cement wall. His grip on your wrists turned your skin white, outlined by a flurry of red streaks. You spread your pinkies apart, trying to place your fingers on the wall, but barely achieved it, still restrained by his fist.

The hand on your neck twisted your anatomy, sending bulges of vein and muscle through you like shivers, pulsing your entire body with gross transfiguration. Not only that, but it sharpened, the web of this thumb thinning into a blade's edge and piercing into skin with his grip. You gasped in desperation as it started to dig into muscle and tried to heal the cut shut against his hand. He tightened his grip and shook your neck, back and forth, to dispel your effort.

“No.” His hand pierced further. “Let it run.”

Blood dripped down your torso, tickling your chest in its path and leaving sticky ruby trails in its wake. Drips ran down his arm and over your collarbones, contouring the mounds of your breasts, until they could reach your belly and fall to the ground, heavy with accumulated volume, unable to reach any further down and losing their grip on skin from the shaking of his pounds.

The cut burned like fire, stealing your attention from anything else. To get your focus back down, Mahito slammed into you hard and started sliding the shafts in alternating paces. He didn't need to thrust his hips: they pumped autonomously. The feeling was like nothing you'd ever had, either. You attempted to force words out of the hyperstimulating cacophony of sensations he was putting you through, shaking your attention away just to call his name. You bucked your hips backward into his thrusts, helping his movement in the only way you could.

He wrapped two more arms around your waist, gluing his body to yours again, and gripped the softness right below your ribs. You lost count of how many he had. He curved his fingers inward into the middle of your abdomen, sharpening his fingertips into precise blades, piercing at the skin and gripping as if he were going to pull out chunks with his bare hands. He gripped your fat and rammed his hips deliciously as blood ran piping hot down his forearms. The curse moaned and let his mouth hang agape, eyes half-lidded in pleasure, as the inherent eroticism of entering flesh turned him on so bad he thought he might come immediately. The pained cry that left your mouth went from his ears straight to his dick.

“Fuuuuck.” He leaned down and breathed hard against your back. The shaft in your ass twitched, bringing too much tension to his lower belly, relaying the message that with another second his balls would turn blue. You clenched your hole around it, milking it for release, and he couldn’t hold anything back. It pumped your ass full of seed, spewing jets of white inside you. Mahito placed his forehead against your spine and whined, his mouth ghosting over you with a small string of drool below. His fringe caught on beaded sweat and stuck to your back, but still he never stopped pumping. It was all only from the dick on top, the one that had been in you the longest. The one in your pussy still hurt for release, winding a fiery coil in his stomach.

His palms distorted you, shifting your insides so your flesh would compress and release against him. He was using you, making you a flesh toy, providing squeeze in his own terms. It peeved him for being too little effort from you, too close to what he already knew, but just the puffiness of your cunt against him was novelty enough. He didn't care now that he was in despair, pining for a second orgasm that didn't delay much further.

He came for the second time with cries that seemed almost painful and whipped his spine straight, carelessly forgetting himself and pulling on your head enough to snap it backwards. He moaned pathetically with the shakes of every muscle and attempted to rock his hips with faltering success. He let go of the grip in every hand and dropped his sweat-covered frame over you, pushing your body down into the table.

“Ah… ah… are you- alive?” He asked meekly at your limp, unmoving frame. He'd done things that would kill a human a few times, but he wondered if this had been too much.

“I told you I would be.” You replied with equally breathless lilt from underneath.

Happiness painted his perspective in pink and he recoiled all but two arms back while the main pair slithered underneath to hug you tenderly. The sticky layer of blood made his hug that much warmer in the literal sense, giving tangibility to the figurative warmth of his thanks. He pulled you tight into his embrace, and you folded your arms over your shoulders to pat his head on your nape, both waiting for their breaths to settle.

“I know it's been dragging out for long, but still… I don't want it to stop.” Mahito turned to nuzzle the side of your head. “I still wish I had more… more of the things only you can give.”

You pushed yourself off the table, forcing him to slip out of your holes and lift himself off as well. You turned to him and cuffed his chin to bring his lips down on yours, kissing him with sloppy nods, which one could almost mistake for a loving trade of affection. He wrapped his bloodied hands on your back, dragging trails that mixed with sweat to smear more than they should. Your lips separated and your eyes met his mismatched pair, half-lidded and full of wonder.

“Tell me…” you whispered into his lips with confidence he had expected to have snuffed out after all this.

“I want to experience your body more…” He licked his bottom lip, unable to divert his eyes from yours. “Let me find out how much I can dismantle you before you break”.

“If you still have the vigor, I'll give you something that you really never had from your attempts.”

You pushed him backwards, making him stumble with crooked steps and fall on his ass. His smile spread further than humanly possible when you got down and crawled over him, dressed in a stained scarf of blood that licked your entire torso in red.

You kneeled at the sides of his hips and reached down to ride him.

#mahito x reader #jujutsu kaisen fic #jjk x reader #mahito #mahito smut #fanfic #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #smut #dead dove do not eat

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fluffysucker · 6 months

Text

Desperate People find faith.

Bucky Barnes x reader

An accident mends your broken heart.

A/N: Written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female.

I read this amazing oneshot, and I couldn't stop thinking about this idea. So I added my own twist to it. Thanks to the wonderful writer for sharing it and for inspiring me.

Likes, comments, reblogs are VERY VERY highly appreciated. Opinions really matter to me

TW: Bullets and blood. Mentions of torture but nothing explicit

Main Masterlist

You knew you shouldn't have done it. You should have stayed home. What could barely be described a home. You should have minded your business. You should have acted like the civilian you are now. You shouldn't have done it. But your loyalty to Steve wouldn't have let you

The image of the cheap copy so-called Captain America holding the shield blasting all over the news was a hit. A gut-wrenching hit. There was a guy who was taking the place of your childhood best friend, the man you called brother, the fearless leader. And he looked happy doing so. Then the blond had the audacity to say that Steve felt like a brother to him. You felt physical pain that you almost threw up.

Rationality went out the window. Before you knew any better, you were tracking down the man who was handed your friend's legacy. The man who gave it away when there was nobody more deserving than him. It wasn't hard to know exactly where Sam Wilson was. You were aware he joined the Air Force once again. So you hijacked the location of his next mission, demanding answers.

But it appeared that you weren't the only one who had the same plan. As you were talking to Sam, trying to be as nice as you could, giving him the benefit of the doubt, telling him you weren't here to judge or pick a fight. You just wanted an explanation. You heard him.

"Shouldn't have given up the shield."

His voice was filled with anger. But you could hear the sadness hidden in his tone. Sam scuffed, walking away from you as well. You turned around and you saw him. The love of your life. Quite literally.

You fail to recall a time you weren't in love with James Buchanan Barnes. Growing up together, your trio was inseparable. You would never see one without the others. From the age of three till your twenties, the three of you were more than family.

Despite loving Steve like the brother you never had, the same couldn't be said about his best friend. Your feelings for the brunette were never platonic. Neither were his. In the second grade, he promised to marry you once he got older. And he did. He kneeled to the ground with a beautiful golden ring for you once he secured a job. It was the easiest yes in your life.

Loving him came to you naturally. Stolen glances. Sweet words. Fast heartbeats. Shy smiles. Gentle touches. You were each other first everything. It was like you were made for each other. Like you were born to love him.

And he was your perfect man. Every woman envied you. Every woman hoped to have someone look at her like he looked at you. Every woman wished for a man who treated her the way he treated you. Every woman prayed for a man to love her that much.

Bucky Barnes was head over heels in love with you. And he made sure he showed it.

You were the luckiest girl.

Up until your luck ran out. War knocked on your door like a hurricane, destroying your life.

You remember the night before Bucky was shipped. When you went home after what couldn't be called a double date at Stark expo. The promises the both of you made. Your dream wedding. Your house. Your family. Your kids. All of it. Your future. And you believed him. You couldn't fathom any alternatives.

So when Steve walked in your tent where you did your job as a journalist, who was asked to cover The Howling Commandos missions and subject their heroism to the public, you knew. The look of utter defeat in his face, his glassy eyes, his red nose, the way he was trying to shrink away in his new huge body, you knew.

Your heart was ripped and broken to pieces. The pain was suffocating. You were drowning. You felt like the world ended. Life stopped.

You don't remember how things went after that. You don't remember if Steve ever said the words to you, but you remember his promise of revenge as he held your sobbing body against his chest.

And he did. He ended Hydra. But it came with a price. Very high. After Steve's sacrifice, life became meaningless. You weren't living. You were barely breathing. You were alone.

So when the government asked you to write the final article about the war, the winning announcement, you were about to turn it down. You found difficulties in everything. Leaving your bed sounded like a tiring task. Eating felt like a punishment. Functioning like a human became a burden.

But you remembered how supportive Bucky was of your career. When every man let women their abandon their dreams, Bucky helped you fight for yours. And he gave his life for this victory. Your fiancée and bestfriend. You owed it to them. To be the one to report the triumph tinted with their effort and blood.

So you put in all your strength and travelled with the small team to write the most important piece of work in your life.

However, only a number of people of the team and the article made it back. You didn't.

On your way back, you were ambushed by unknown soldiers. They took you to unknown quarters. You were so confused until you saw that cursed symbol. They weren't gone. Neither was your fiancée.

And that began a lifetime of torture and pain. They brainwashed Bucky but left you with your memories. So when they threatened to hurt him, you caved and let them do whatever they wanted to you. It was a trap they built for you, and you fell in it every time. They would hurt both of you at the end.

You endured it all. You survived it all. Except the moment they made Bucky look you in the eyes and fight you. They erased you from his mind. You saw the love of your life, and he saw nothing. He looked at you and saw either an enemy or a mission partner. And that was the most painful torture Hydra put you through.

As if this wasn't enough. You had to face a hindrance you never thought of.

After Steve rescued the both of you, after him running away from you, after spending two years making amendments with the government and helping Steve search for him, after the accords and Zemo's predicament, after he remembered you, after Princess Shuri was able to give him back his freedom, after you hugged him as he cried, after you decided to finally have that wedding, Thanos happened.

You believe you did something so terrible in another life, and you were getting punished for it in this life. There was no logical explanation as to why this kept happening to you. Why were you robbed of any chances of happiness. Why did you have to watch your man disappear right after having him back. Why you could only feel ache and misery. Why was the world so cruel.

So you kept your hopes to minimum when Steve came to your shared apartment one night, telling you that they had a plan. You agreed to join them in the time heist, ready to be disappointed.

But the second you saw Bucky standing on the sides with his machine gun, you wanted to cry. You thought it was an illusion, but these blue eyes said something else. Now, you were fighting with a strong drive and purpose.

You thought that was it. Your happy ending. You finally had him. But Steve leaving tore you apart. You were happy for your bestfriend who finally did something for himself. However, you couldn't help but feel sad. At least you and Bucky had each other.

Bucky had another thing in mind. Because, a couple of weeks after Steve leaving, Bucky broke up with. He said he needed to figure himself out and work on his pardon. You understood. But it didn't make it any easier.

So you left, giving him all the space he needed. You hadn't seen or spoken to each other since. At least he is alive. That's what you kept telling yourself to find any sort of comfort or condolence.

So this was the first time you had met. He looked different. He cut his hair. He had a scruff. He was wearing an all black outfit. He had gloves on. He had little bags under his eyes. He looked good overall. That's what mattered to you.

"Good to see you too, Buck." Sam said as he walked with intentions to move away from Bucky.

"This is wrong." Bucky didn't give him the chance as be walked beside Sam, without batting you an eye. You couldn't say that didn't hurt but you followed them anyway.

"Look, I'm working, alright. So all this outrage is going to have to wait." It was clear that Bucky wasn't here to have a civil conversation like you.

"You didn't know this was going to happen?" Bucky accused Sam.

"No, of course I didn't know that was going to happen." Sam was quick to deny Bucky's accusations.

"You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out and call him the new Captain America." This was more directed towards you, following up to your conversation before Bucky cut in.

"This isn't what Steve wanted." Bucky wasn't going to back down.

"Oh my god. So what do you want me to do? Call America and tell them I changed my mind. " Sam's sarcastic reply did nothing but annoy Bucky's more.

"Like I told your wife. There is nothing we can do. You just couldn't wait for her to get home." You looked at Sam. It didn't appear to you that he wouldn't know.

"We broke up."

Another wave of pain hit you as you turned to look at Bucky, who was still not looking at you. How easy could he just say it with no emotions at all. You were fighting to get by every day, and he looked like he didn't care.

"What?!" Sam stopped suddenly once he heard Bucky's words, turning to the both of you.

"You,two lovebirds who literally broke laws to be together, broke up?" Sam couldn't believe his ears. He thought you would have gotten married by now. Your love for each other more epic than all the novels he read.

"Were you asked to give it up?" You changed the topic quickly, refusing to answer Sam's question or talk about your tragic love story. It hurt bad enough, and you didn't want to show it.

"Of course not." Sam heard you loud and clear. He also knew your question had pure intentions. You weren't here to offend him.

"Right, great reunion, guys. Be well." Sam turned to walk out, ending this conversation.

"You had no right to give up the shield, Sam." Bucky was angry, and he was showing it. In the wrong way.

"This is what you aren't going to do. You aren't going to come here in your over extended life and tell me about my rights." Three of you came to a stop.

"It's over." Sam added, looking at you as you came to stand next to Bucky.

"Besides, I have bigger things to deal with."

And you hadn't rest since.

It was, indeed, big thing to deal with.

You had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you impulsively followed Sam and Bucky into the plane.

It was a constant mess. The flag smashers. New super soldiers. Karli Morgenthau. Isaiah Bradley. Zemo. Madripoor. Power Broker. And the worst of them all. John Walker and Lemar Hoskins. It never ended.

All that chaos was a good distraction. You didn't have time to think about your broken heart nor to think about the current nature of your and Bucky's relationship.

It was complicated and confusing.

You fought very well together. Your combined sets of skills were lethal. Your collective training and ability to work together kicked in when needed. Away from that, the both of you barely talked. You acknowledged each other existence. That's how you would describe it.

However, you couldn't explain why Bucky refused when Raynor asked you and Sam to join them in the session in the police station. Or why he always made sure you stayed at least an arm distance away from Zemo. Or why did he choose to be the Winter Soldier for the night instead of you compromising your identity that you kept a secret all these years. Or why, that day at Madripoor, he almost took multiple bullets for you. Or why whenever John showed up, his hand would always find yours.

You were thankful you didn't have the time to think about all of this because you were sure you would have lost your mind. You barely had your emotions in checks. And there was a lot going on.

Then it all went crushing. You would never forget this day.

You followed Sam and Bucky, running out of the building into the street, only to see the calamity that just occurred.

John Walker stood proud with the blood-tinted shield above the man he just slaughtered.

Instinctively, your hand came up to wrap around Bucky's bicep, looking for any comfort for the both of you. This scene would forever be engraved in your memories.

Three of you gave John some time. You stood outside of the warehouse he was in right now. You knew if you all went angry, the results would be catastrophic.

But it was anyway.

You let Sam do most of the talking. He was the best in this. If anyone could convince John to hand over the shield, it would be him. So you stood and watched. But it appeared that the time you gave John Walker to cool down only drove him more over the edge. So, with the three of telling him to give up the shield, John Walker lost his mind.

It should have been an easy fight. A veteran and an avenger and two super soldiers. It shouldn't be hard. But neither one of the three of you was fighting was the intention to hurt John. Unlike him, John was fighting to kill. With his new powers, he was uncontrollable.

You let out a high-pitched scream once you saw John throw Bucky away, electrocuting his arm, making him lose consciousness. Then you watched as he straddled Sam on the ground. You needed to act quickly.

You groaned as you got up from the floor, looking at the cut in your arm. Nothing too bad. You told yourself as you ran toward John tickling him away from Sam.

It was just you and him, now.

And it was brutal.

You were still trying not to hurt him too much. However, he was unstoppable. So when he figured that he would lose combat with you eventually, he retrieved to other options.

Picking the shield and throwing it at you for it cause a cut in your chest was enough distraction for him to take out the gun he kept in his suit and shot you.

The bullets found their places in your stomach and legs. He aimed for places that you wouldn't recover from. You fell to the ground, coughing blood, feeling the bullets rest so deep in your body.

John walked towards you with the shield. He looked at you. His eyes were showing insanity and rage. He lifted the shield up and hit you in the chest. The pain was like no other. And you knew that was it.

It felt ironic in so many ways. Your bestfriend's shield. The shield that presented all of Steve's values and beliefs. The shield that helped once save your life. Now, it was going to be the weapon to kill you.

Of all the ways you thought you would die in, this wasn't even close. But when was life ever fair to you? At least you would have peace now. Your dying wish was for Bucky to know how much you loved him and how you wanted him to be fine and happy. Because you loved Bucky more than life itself.

You tried to distract yourself from the excruciating pain by counting how many hits of the shield would it take to end you.

You counted two.

You started coughing violently as you felt a weight got lifted off your chest. All your body going numb for seconds.

You saw Bucky was up once again, and he managed to corner John with Sam, trying to break his arm to take away the shield.

You desperately tried to get up and help them, but your whole body was on fire. Why was the serum not working?

A breath escaped you once you heard the sound of bone breaking. Only to realize breathing hurt. Everything hurt so bad.

With cuts on your arms and face, bruises on your ribs, wounds in your chest, bullets in your stomach and legs, you gave up, closing your eyes.

Because of your agonizing pain. You didn't hear Bucky beating the life out of John after taking the shield. He didn't stop until John passed out.

Bucky turned around and saw a sight that came straight out of his worst nightmares. He had seen it too many times. Woke up scared and sweating because of it. A sight that he knew would haunt him more than it already did.

Your lifeless body in a pool of blood.

He took careful steps towards you, praying it would disappear, and this would just be a nightmare of his. But the sound of your faint heartbeats made it real.

"Doll." Bucky got on his knees next to you, holding your motionless body in his arm.

You hissed in pain as you felt a movement that caused all the pain in your body to stir awake again.

"Bucky." Your voice was a whisper. You were too tired to open your eyes, but the feeling of the metal around you was familiar.

"I'm right here, doll." Bucky may not let it show in his voice, but if you opened your eyes, you would see the fear and tears.

"I need you to stay awake, okay. Can you do this for me? Please, stay awake." Bucky never felt this desperate before.

"Help is on the way." The three of you had already arranged with Torres to have an ambulance on stand-by. You had a feeling things would go bad. But not that bad.

"I'm tired." The amount of blood you were losing was making you too dizzy.

"I know, doll. But you will be okay." Bucky didn't care about the blood getting all over him as he pulled you closer to him.

"You will get better. Because you have to." He was saying it more to himself than you.

"I prayed for this." Talking was getting too hard, but you had to tell.

"What did you pray for?" Bucky was doing anything to keep you awake. He needed to listen to your voice.

"To die in your arms."

Bucky felt the tears escape his eyes, falling down freely on his face.

"You aren't dying. You will be okay." You heard it. The shakiness of his voice.

Fighting the great pain you were in, you opened your eyes to look at him. You wanted to see him one last time. This is why you prayed to die in his arms. So his face would be the last thing to see. This voice would be the last thing you heard. His arms the last thing you felt. Your farewell to the cruel world would be with the man who had been your heaven on Earth.

You lifted your arm with a moan of pain before you placed it on his cheek. You needed to say it. You needed it to be your last words.

"I love you, Bucky. I loved you my whole life."

With that, the world went dark.

You didn't get to see the mess that Bucky became as he heard your heartbeats slow down. His screams and desperate calls of your name to wake up.

He was so blinded by pain that he didn't let the paramedics near, protecting your body until he realized who they were. They didn't try to fight him when he insisted on getting in the ambulance with you.

All the time you were in the surgery, Bucky was inconsolable. He didn't care that Sam and Torres saw him as he sobbed, sitting on the floor waiting for anybody to tell you were fine. All he cared about was that he didn't say it back. You could die not knowing how much he loved you. The thought brought new tears to his already puffy red eyes

He prayed to God and anyone that would hear. If you were standing close enough, you would hear him. "Please, don't take her from me." "Please, let her be okay." "Take me instead of her." "She deserves so much better, please."

In his long life that was filled with hardships, torture, and wars, this was the worst pain he ever went through. He could feel his heart twisting and breaking. Every cell in his body was hurting. The emotional pain turning physical.

His eyes were dried up. Cheeks stained with tears. His mind going through all the worst scenarios. None of them he would be able to survive.

He jumped up from the floor when the door opened, and a doctor walked out. His heart was beating a thousand miles a second. All these prayers never leaving his mouth. His last hope.

"She is okay."

Tears of relief fell from his eyes. You survived it. You made it. The doctor talked about your injuries. With medications and the seurm, you would heal properly. Bucky didn't pay attention. His mind focused on one thing. He needed to see you.

After knowing your room's number, Bucky didn't leave your side. The doctor told him it might take a bit for you to wake up, but he didn't mind. He would stay forever.

It wasn't long before you woke up.

You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting to the bright lights. The last thing you remember was the intense pain. It didn't hurt as much now. You just felt so exhausted. You tried to move your hands, only to be blocked.

You looked down to see Bucky holding your hand so tightly and his head resting next to it. You could tell his eyes were swollen and his nose was red. But he looked peaceful sleeping. You missed him so much.

Without much thought, you moved your other free hand to his head, playing with his hair. It felt soft under your fingers. You blamed the serum that made him wake up from such a simple touch.

You smiled softly as you watched him, trying to remember where he was and what he was doing. He looked confused until he saw you.

"You are awake." Bucky got up from the seat next to the bed.

"Are you okay? Are you pain? What hurts? I'm going to call the doctor." He was frantic. He only stopped when you held his metal hand.

"I'm okay, Bucky." You reassured him with a smile.

You repeated it a couple of times before he finally sat back down on the chair. That's when you noticed he was still in his suit that was covered in blood. Your blood.

After he sat down, he looked at your intertwined fingers together and couldn't help the tears.

"What's wrong?" You asked as you moved your thumb gently on his knuckles.

"You scared the life out of me." He answered as he wiped his tears away.

"Though we were used to this, Barnes." You replied playfully, hands still together.

"Not when it comes to you. Never you." Bucky was fast to respond.

"Nothing I haven't been through before." You said it casually. You didn't miss the look in Bucky's eyes. It held too much depth to it. You couldn't put your hand on it

"Is your arm okay? Do you need to get it checked?" Flashbacks were coming back to you bit by a bit. As you touched his metal arm, you remembered what happened to him.

"You are in the hospital bed, and you are asking about my arm." Bucky's laugh was dry. He would always be in awe of how caring you were.

"I will never stop caring about, Bucky. Even if you don't want me." It was true. Nothing could make you stop caring about Bucky.

"Don't want you?" Bucky couldn't let your comment go by.

"Yeah. You don't want me anymore. It's okay. I understand."

"You understand?"

"I remind you of a bad time. The worst. And you had to move on. You had to cut ties with all parts of this time."

"Is this why you think we broke up?"

"Isn't it?"

You started telling yourself this after the breakup as a way to pick the shattered pieces of your heart. Of course, he didn't want to be with someone who held their bad time as a constant reminder on her body as scars. Or with someone who went through the same hell as him. He deserved someone better. Someone who wasn't so damaged.

And you understood.

"No, it isn't."

He was planning to tell you everything but not right now. But words just fell out from the tip of his tongue.

"I don't look at you and see bad time. I look at you, and I see all my failures."

You looked at him, baffled, not getting what he meant.

"I remember everything."

You still didn't know what he wanted to say.

"I remember what Hydra did to you. What they made you do for me. What I did to you."

"Bucky.."

"How they pushed you too far in the lies of not hurting me. How they made you watch as they erased you from my mind. How they made me fight you. Hurt you."

You were about to tell him how you didn't hold him accountable to any of this because it was never his fault. It was never his intention. You were sure Bucky would never hurt you. The Winter Soldier not too. But he cut you off.

"They took you because they knew how much you meant to me. How important you are to me. I was the reason you had to go through all of this."

"I look at you and remember how I failed to protect you. When that's all I ever wanted in life. To protect you. But I failed."

"Just like I failed today."

Before you could say anything, he kept going.

"I couldn't understand how you could still love me."

"I looked at the list of people I hurt, and your name was first. And you wanted to help me. You wanted to stay by my side. I couldn't live with the guilt. I still can't. I had to let you go despite how bad it hurts."

"But, doll, I want you to be sure nobody will ever love you half as much as I do."

It took years for Hydra to remove you from his mind. But what they didn't know was that they never fully succeeded.

At first, he would forget his name but remember his girl and everything about you. Then they become harsher, so he would only remember your face and name. Then, it became only your face. Then nothing. The blank paper for them to write what they wanted.

However, whenever Hydra made the both of you train together or go on missions, he would get this rush of flashbacks like a movie playing in his head once he was alone in his cell. It would be you. In different places and different ages. The Winter Soldier would convince himself that it must be his memories from past missions. Effects of being wiped too many times.

The soldier was never able to shake the feeling of guilt after a training session where he would be instructed to be tough with you. A feeling so foreign to him.

He remembers the first time he refused to hurt you. They made him watch from far as they tortured you. Then they wiped him again. Every time he showed any sympathy for you, he was wiped and handled roughly.

But all the efforts weren't enough. You were the first thing he remembered once he settled in Bucharest. That's when the guilt came in. It was you. The love of his love. His fiancée. And they got to you. And he couldn't save you.

Even after the blip, His thoughts kept going back to how he betrayed you and hurt you instead of protecting you like he was meant it.

But the worst part was how he thought he didn't deserve your love anymore. He thought you would resent him. So he decided to break his heart into two. He left.

You were the forbidden topic that Raynor wasn't allowed to go near despite how much she wanted. You were the centre of his nightmares. All of them. Past memories of both of you at Hydra. Missions and trainings. And the worst, losing you. Watching you getting killed. Nightmares that invaded him, and he was defenceless.

"I love you, and I'm so sorry." Bucky laid soft kiss on your hand.

"Let me ask a question, Bucky." He looked at you, tears still filling his eyes.

You didn't expect this to be the real reason why you and Bucky broke up. But you should have known. He was too good of a man.

"If it had been the other way you around, wouldn't you have done the same? Would you have hated me then?"

"I would give my life for you without hesitation. And nothing could ever make me hate you."

His answer was fast. That was the only thing he knew about himself. You come first, always.

"Then why are you surprised with what I did? You don't love me more, Bucky." You laughed softly, already feeling your ribs ache a bit.

You always had this running joke that Bucky loved you more than you did. And to a lot of the extent, it was true.

"You didn't deserve it."

"Neither did you."

You patted the spot on bed next to you, wanting him to be close to you. And he listened. He sat on the bed, hands never leaving each other.

"Haven't we been through enough? Haven't the world tore us apart too many times? Let us have this."

If he still loved you, then you should be together. You should be broken together. You should heal together. It was poetic how even in pain, you were still together.

Both of you understood each other better than anyone. You shouldn't be separated.

"You don't hate me?" It was Bucky's worst fear and biggest doubt. If the damage Hydra did was unrepairable.

"I can live hundreds of years and still be in love with you."

You squeezed his hand to make sure he knew how serious you were. "You are all I have ever known, Bucky."

With that, Bucky got up and moved so close to you. Your faces millimetres away from each other. His breath fanning over your face. His personal scent with dust and blood engulfing you. His blue eyes warming the inside of you.

"I got the best girl of them all." Bucky kissed you.

It was a soft, slow kiss. A sign of starting over. Of getting back.

You smiled in the kiss. Bucky used to say this all the time back then. You were known as Bucky's best girl. He used to call you that.

You broke away, feeling so much better now. Bucky rested his flesh hand on your cheek.

"I thought I lost you. I was so scared."

"You didn't. I'm right here."

"Though you will leave me before I say it back." You looked at him, puzzled.

"I love you, doll. You are the thing I live for. You are the purpose of my existence. I love you so much."

You didn't care about the pain as you moved up to meet his lips one more time. And he kissed you back right away.

"You owe me a ring and wedding, Barnes." You joked while you brought your other hand to hold into his suit to ground yourself.

He laughed before he moved away for a bit, and you already missed the closeness, and he wasn't far. You watched as he brought his dog tags out. You saw something bright with them but couldn't tell it was.

"Oh my god." You felt tears gather in your eyes as Bucky brought out the shiny thing closer.

It was your ring. Your engagement ring. The ring Bucky put in your finger many years ago. It was it. You thought it must have been lost that you didn't try to look for it, avoiding the disappointment.

But here it was. Bucky was able to find it. And he kept it with his dog tags. So close to his heart. Where you belonged.

Bucky got in one knee in his technical gear in a hospital room with you connected to IV.

"Doll, will you marry me?"

You laughed loudly that you felt pain shot again in your body. Bucky was next to you in an instant when your laugh turned to a cough.

"Third time is a charm." You said as you gave him your hand.

With another proposal in Wakanda before the snap, you managed to get Bucky Barnes on his knees three times for you.

He put the ring on your finger and pressed a kiss on your hand. "It will be. Mrs. Barnes." The name always had its sweet effect on you.

Bucky leaned in again to kiss you. And this kiss felt out of the world. Like a lifeboat before drowning. Water after the drought. Your rescue.

It was Bucky's promise of safety and security. Nothing and nobody was ever going to hurt you again. A promise of a safe home. Together.

You kept your forehead resting on his as your hand found its place once again on his suit.

"No to be rude, but you need a shower, babe." You could feel the dust on his face and the blood dried on his suit and skin.

"I will be okay. Probably going to fall asleep." You didn't give him a chance to protest.

"Plus, you know. I like my man nice and clean." You pecked his lips playfully.

The sound of the word "your man" falling from your lips referring to Bucky made his heart do little dances. Damn right he was your man.

"I won't take long." He kissed your hair before he got up and left to get himself presentable for his lady.

The world felt lighter, brighter, better. You felt happy. You were happy. You looked at the ring that held huge meaning for you. You weren't hurting. You were finally okay. You had your man back.

Who would have thought a near death incident would be the thing to give you back the man who always brought life to you.

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illyrian-dreamer · 1 year

Text

Overwritten – Part 5

Azriel x Reader

Summary: After months as his prisoner, Hybern has hijacked your mind, turning you into an enemy of your home, your family, and your mate, Azriel.

Warnings: Mentions of sex (18+)

Words: 1,925

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Part 5 ∇

The winds were unusually gentle that night, the air still and quiet as Rhys winnowed to the roof. Atop of the house, there was no sign of the chaos that had unravelled earlier, the bedlam of your latest episode concealed within the walls.

Rhys expected to find Azriel pacing, his shadows sharp with panic and fret like the all other nights. He waited for Az to approach him immediately, hazel eyes darting between his own as he begged for any good news of his mate.

But tonight the Shadowsinger stayed sitting, his long legs draped off the side of the house, shadows low as they coiled in on themselves. Rhys noted the droop of his wings, the moonlight casting a long brooding shadow behind him, almost as melancholic as him. His brother looked truly alone.

Making his way over, Rhys sat silently next to Azriel, moving his own legs over the edge of the roof. Now that he was closer, he could see the tear tracks that stained Azriel’s face, and a surge of sympathy coursed through the High Lord.

“Az–” he started, his voice laced with remorse for their brawl earlier.

“She’s stopped screaming.” Azriel’s voice was distant, and while his words clung to that last kernel of hope, his tone was flat, more defeated than it had ever sounded. His eyes didn't leave the night sky.

Rhys cleared his throat. “Yes. Feyre willed her asleep.”

Azriel nodded slowly, his gaze unmoving.

“She made progress tonight.”

Azriel cast a sideways look to Rhys, his brows pulled in question.

“Feyre and Mor. She said their names, remembered who they were.”

“Did she snap?”

“Not until she heard the other triggers.”

Azriel’s closed his eyes then, lips pressed as he prepared for what he knew Rhys would confirm. “It was my name again, wasn’t it?”

Rhys’s violet eyes darted over Azriel’s face, wincing at the pain he knew he was about to cause. After a deep breath, he answered. “Yes.”

Azriel nodded tightly, opening his eyes and returning his gaze to the array of stars above. Rhys studied him, unsure of how to comfort his brother.

It was then that Azriel truly and utterly broke. A sob escaped the male, his head falling to his hands. His body shook as silent cries escaped him, tears hidden in his palms as shadows swirled up his frame, eager to comfort their master.

Rhys was on his brother in an instant, pulling him in a tight hold. He could feel each breath the Shadowsinger took, and each cry that left in its place. “It’s alright Az, it’ll be alright,” he soothed.

Azriel couldn't respond if he wanted to. He couldn't stop his despondency from bubbling over, too overcome to pry himself from his brother, to hold himself up. All he could do was cry.

A flap of wings and a gentle thud sounded from behind them, and another set of strong arms cradled Azriel, red siphons glowing against his blue ones.

Rhys and Cassian exchanged a pained look, neither of them needing to note how rare it was to see Azriel in such a state. In fact, it was the first time for either of them.

“She made progress Az,” Cassian said gently, leaning closer to his brother’s ear.

Azriel nodded through the cries that racked through him, acknowledging the glimmer of hope that remained. It was the only thing that kept him grounded, here with his brothers. Without it, he knew he would lose himself to his rage. And his brothers – they had fought just as hard to find his mate as he had. They hadn’t stop trying now that she was home. He had never been more grateful for his family.

“M’sorry I fought you,” Azriel said, his voice shaky as his tried to get a hold of his breathing.

“Don’t be,” Rhys responded, giving him a comforting shake. “I hate to have forced you to leave, I took no pleasure in it.”

“No, no. I understand. It’s my instinct, you know? It just… it takes over and I can't find a way to stop.”

Cassian and Rhys nodded, knowing exactly how that felt.

“She’s asleep now,” Rhys added with suggestion.

Azriel snapped his head to his High Lord. “You mean–?”

“Just don't wake her.”

Azriel nodded, standing immediately at the chance to finally get close to his mate. After a few fast steps, he halted to a stop, looking back at his brothers over his shoulder. “I… I”m grateful for both of you. Thank you.”

“We know Az,” Cassian said with a small smile. “We love you too.”

————

Azriel’s hand shook against the door handle of the clinic, his own anticipation like a dog pulling on it’s lead. Pushing the door open with caution, he felt it immediately – what remained of the mating bond, while frayed and thin, began to warm from within. It sang to him, pulling him closer to the medical bed at the centre of the room.

His heart broke at the sight of you. It was the first time he had seen you since the camp, and while your skin looked brighter and your clothes were now clean, the signs of your ongoing recovery was still incredibly evident. How small and frail you looked – bruises spotted across your arms from the leather belts, your hands laced with scratch marks, and deep purple bags set under your eyes from sheer exhaustion.

It took every ounce of strength the Shadowsinger had to not caress the side of your face, to not reach out stroke your hair in the motion he knew you loved. Instead, he forced himself to sit, gripping the sides of the stool to suppress his instinct to touch you.

“Oh, Y/N,” he whispered, casting his eyes up and down your body, his brows clenched in agony. “I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am.”

You slept, chest moving with slow breaths – unhearing, unmoving.

“They say you’re making progress my love. I'm so proud that you are trying.” Indeed, Azriel’s heart swelled at the thought. “If only I could take your pain away, or help you in some way.”

The bond warmed then, reacting on your unconscious behalf. It sparked an idea in him.

Closing his eyes, Azriel cast his most cherished memory down that golden tether, reliving the moment you accepted the mating bond.

“You’ve known for how long?” you scowled at the male, arms crossed at your chest as you tapped your foot impatiently.

“A few weeks,” Azriel replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head as he tried not to blush. He’d never admit it, but he was shit scared of you right now. Harsh eyes sizing him up, so demanding, so powerful. He would journey the lengths of the world just to have you set those eyes on him, even for just even a moment.

“Weeks? Azriel! You didn't think so much as to tell me?”

“I was waiting for you to feel it yourself.”

You sighed then, pinching your nose as you shook your head. You turned from him, hiding the smile that tugged at your lips. You had a mate. Azriel was your mate.

Unable to withstand his own doubts of you requiting the bond, Azriel began to babble. “It happened on Solstice, right when we exchanged our gifts. You were delighting in the ancient scrolls I got you, and when you hugged me, it snapped into place.”

“Is that why you looked so alarmed?”

“Yes. Your scent was overwhelming, it was hard to stay focused. I felt the bond then, sending trills of your own happiness coursing through my own veins. I realised then I would do anything to make you smile, to make you as happy and as joyous as you were on that day.”

Tears begin to well at your own eyes, and you turned to your mate, finding his hazel eyes shining in the same way.

“I couldn't help but thank the Cauldron for having created such a purposeful fate. Because not only was I mated to a female as kind and strong and intelligent as you, but I was mated to someone I had loved for many years prior.”

Tears flowed freely then. “Oh, Az.” You rushed to him, his large arms encompassing you as you shared you first kiss. It was passionate, yet gentle, fierce, yet loving – the true balance of the bond you began to feel forming in your own being.

“I love you too,” you smiled against his lips, a small laugh escaping you, for all that was good in the world.

Azriel’s honey eyes glowed with warmth and desire, his nose nudging yours before closing his lips over yours again. He pulled away, burying himself in your neck as he breathed in his scent. “Your are my purpose to live.”

You baked Azriel a hazelnut cake that evening, even though he insisted a slice of stale bread would have more than sufficed, his own desires to be mated making him impatient. But you were adamant on the sentiment – the cake being a personal favourite of his, and nod to your everlasting friendship as it evolved into something new. He was your best friend, and now the single most important person in your life. You wanted to cook him something as special as he.

Only a few bites of the cake were eaten before Azriel had taken you on the kitchen counter, amongst the dustings of flour and baking supplies. The sex had been gentle at first, and unlike anything you had ever felt before. Every inch of you was stimulated, physically and mentally, and the connection of the bond allowed you to share pleasure and intimacy in ways you didn't know possible. It wasn't long until your love-making become more heated – frantic and needy, completely driven by the surge of hormones and magic that bound you together.

You stayed in the cabin Azriel had brought you to, enjoying the privacy to explore your new bond. You went on walks in the forest, cuddling at the fireplace and talking through the night, discussing your upmost fears and greatest desires. Any spare moments were filled with sensual, heated sex, limbs tangled together as you sweat and writhed together, the both of you insatiable for the other.

It took a full fortnight before you could convince Azriel to return to your lives and the rest of your family, earlier suggestions being met with low growls from the Shadowsinger as a protective instinct took over, unwilling to share you with the rest of the world. You had teased him, calling him a possessive male with a roll of your eyes and a smirk on your lips. You were right, but he would not apologise for it. You were his, to love and protect and serve, from now until the end of his existence.

And from the quiet of the clinic, Azriel sent these memories down the bond.

Ever so slightly, he could feel the rope strengthen, as if old frayed tethers found new ways to weave together. He froze when you stirred, his eyes wide as he synched his breath, worried to have woken you. But you kept on sleeping, a softer expression now resting on your face, you cheeks dusted with a hint of colour.

Azriel gave a silent prayer of thanks to the Cauldron. He had finally uncovered a way to help you. Sending another course of love through to you, Azriel took a breath of contentment – his first in many months.

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Part 6 >>>

AN: Thank you to everyone who has been following this story along, I hope you liked part 5!! As always, I’d love to hear your feedback, and if you’d like to join the Overwritten tag list or my general ACOTAR one, just drop a comment below :) MUCH LOVE! ❤️❤️❤️

Tags: @hyacinthoideshispanica @kennedy-brooke @cosmic-whispers @jazmin2211 @psychobookaholic @fieldofdaisiies @marina468 @itscaitymoore @timecharm @icey--stars @lucyysthings @valeridarkness @alw-aysjanuary @brekkershadowsinger @ladygloucester @ciannemar83 @wiitchkiller @xtreme-shipper @thorslonglocks @im-bili @kexrtiz @shadowcrowsworld @lillithathecat @marina468 @aroseinvelaris @cynicalpotato95 @goldentournesol @maddithefangirl @holywolfsstuff @banasheefan56 @banasheefan56 @im-bili @v1olentdelights @cardanenthusiast @mandarin-lmao @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @ttreader @shadowsingersmate24 @auggiesolovey @percyjacksonspeen @starxqt @reiincarnatiion @thefandomplace

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lightheaded-dullahan · 10 months

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Alright, strap in for the lie of the decade So I got this ask

So I think; “well what’s this all about?” I open it up and its this pretty quoted interview, so I’m like “huh so what’s ‘oh boy’ about this? Then I start to read. AND OH BOY.

I think most people who look into Fate/Apocrypha have heard of this interview with Nasu and Higashide. If you haven’t; here is a quick run down of its contents.

Written out; if the image is annoying to read:

Trivia from interview with Kinoko Nasu, Takeshi Takeuchi, Konoe Ototsugu & Yuichiro Higashide. (Source from Comptiq, Newtype and etc). - The ligh novel was greenlit by Nasu, as supervisor, Higashide as writter and Konoe as illustrator art. - David, St.George, Kintoki Sakata & Musashibo Benkei were scrapped by Kinoko Nasu’s idea. - Nasu said these servants doesn’t fit into plot and they were replaced by four new servants instead. - Chiron, Avicebron & Achilles were designed by Takeuchi & Nasu, illustrated by Konoe in charge of character design. - Mordred is the culture of festival achievement thanks from TYPE MOON fanbase. - Addition of Mordred into F/A was Takeuchi’s idea and Nasu agreed. - Mordred was orginally to be male but Nasu feel that having two male characters look feminine (the other being Astolfo) would be too much. - However, Mordred as a male was not Nasu’s claim of actual fact. In truth, Nasu didn’t decided for final Mordred’s gender since Fate/Stay Night until Fate/Apocrypha. Which mean Mordred was “genderless” in F/SN. - After the project of online game was scrapped, Nasu said that all servants are too ridiculous powerful and might bored if the player’s powerful servant was facing against other player’s powerful servant. It’s like a hax. - The online game was based on Infamous 2’s gameplay style. - Nasu & Takeuchi were laughing about more Saber clone. In fact, Mordred is the real clone of Saber (Altria), so the wish has come true for those people who still saying about Saber clone. - Karna is Nasu’s favorite servant. Karna’s popularity has been skyrocket thanks to Fate/Extra CCC. - Astolfo is Konoe’s favourite servant. He is symbol mascot of Fate/Apocrypha. Higashide can’t even tell if this is comfortable or not since Astolfo is dude. - Yggdmillennia, Sisigou & Kotomine Shirou were planned by Nasu, Takeuchi & Higashide. - Higashide wrote all Sisigou, Reika & Black camp’s character development, while Homunculus, Kotomine Shirou & four new servants’s character development was already written by Nasu. - Nasu said that Shirou is basically a character who look to have “light outside and darker inside” personality. Uncanny different trait from Kirei. - Homunculus (Sieg) was Nasu & Takeuchi’s idea. Nasu wanted introduce male homunculus in Fate series for the first time. - Takeuchi & Konoe said Homunculus looks cute but dense person. - Takeuchi stated Homunculus & Jeanne are his new favorite characters, along with Altria. - Interviewer mention about why Takeuchi like Homunculus. He reply "It’s a secret" due it will trigger the spoiler. - Jeanne is based on real french student girl according to Takeuchi. She was at same college where Takeuchi studied, before he met someone as model of Arcueid Brunestud’s design from Tsukhime come to his mind. - The difference between Altria & Jeanne is sex appeal. Which is already explained in TYPE MOON April Fool 2012, where Heroine X (Altria) in furious when she heard that Jeanne’s sex appeal is better than her. - Tsukihime is Higashide’s favorite visual novel. - Nasu stated homunculus like Mordred can summoned as Heroic Spirit despite not human being. - The rules of magecraft in Apocrypha universe are same as in Fate/Stay Night & Fate/Zero except that there is no rule of Ruler classes. - Ruler’s duty is protect the Holy Grail and oversee the battle. - Interviewer asked Nasu & Higashide about why Jeanne hijack Leticia’s body rather than ritual summon. Nasu stated it was something broke the rule of HGW and corrupted the system. - Nasu mention the first servant who hijack human body is Avenger, Angra Mainyu from Fate/Hollow Ataraxia. Who control Emiya Shirou’s body and mind since he has no body but void form. The theory that come from Rin Tohsaka was correct. - Roa from Tsukihime was also can hijack the human body (Ciel & Tohno SHIKI) but reincarnation soul while he was in Akasha. - Nasu & Higashide admit it was silly idea in the first place. But they wanted Jeanne to have some disadvantages/weakness for herself due she was powerful servant and might kinda “boring” if she summoned as spirit form. (Avoid fan calling her a mary sue). - Which mean any servant can hijack the human body while in critical condition but it's rarely. - Karna’s background story has been altered in comparison to his original myth in Mahabrarat. This means, Karna is Nasu!Karna, not Myth!Karna which we know. - The rule of summoning Ruler is who can guide the war during in his/her past and a sainthood(?) as specific condition. Only one Ruler class is summoned in one war. The this system works in Apocrypha universe only. - St.George was remove because of this. Karna, however he refuse refer himself a saint and a killing machine who can kill God, summoned as Lancer class instead. - The Greater Grail force summon the servant as Ruler when met the condition completed. - If Jeanne is summoned in different universe without rules of Ruler, her class will be obviously Saber. She still will be summoned as Ruler if the mishap of war affected the result in different universe. - Jeanne was first mention in Kara no Kyoukai’s light novel reference: Mikiya Kokutou mentions her when he was discussing about Heroic Spirits who utilized the power of the Counter Force. - While the design for Jeanne wasn’t made during the production of the Fate/Zero novels, the design was completed around the time of the anime adaptation.

This translation was provided by @/ shinichameleon - who, in fact, is still pretty active in this fandom. They still post to this day. Now; what’s wrong with this? Well most importantly, Mahabharata is misspelled- no I’m joking that’s not the most important.

Most importantly is This interview is a lie.

https://web.archive.org/web/20151107012557/http://shinichameleon.tumblr.com/post/62039911382/fateapocrypha-vol2-translation-of-detail

This is the interview being claimed has this information. But - this is an interview by Higashide ALONE after Apoc Vol. 2 was releasing. Nasu isn’t in this interview. At all. So; is there *any* interview with Nasu & Higashide? Yes; in Type Moon Ace 8. But that was *before* Apoc began its release so none of this information would have been there. So; maybe its another one? Well, as Petrikow on Fate/Apocrypha Free Range Spoiler thread discovered; no archivist has listed any other interview with both of them. Well what about the rest of the post? Seems like information is just from the product itself, not any interview. But why does this matter? Well; because this user, Shinichameleon has a rather ...unsavory reputation.

In addition this this set; they’ve also posts a supposed new route for the Ufortable adaptation. Which....is blatantly untrue as we’ve seen. But then so this person lies about fate stuff (and gets it circulated for a decade), so what? Well they’ve also got banned from fate reddit(s) for posting false information. This includes falsely claiming Japanese Mordred and Semiramis fans hated each other; than Semiramis was hated in JP, KR, and CN fan bases after vol.4,5, and 6. They also tried to pull something similar with summer Ibuki, which is also proven not reliable at all through machine translation, using their own opinion as proof of character popularity, taking people out of context, and genuinely bringing bad fate (heh) arguments. But what else have they done? Completely make up information about Kiara Sessyoin?? Yep. They completely made up info.

“According from Kinoko Nasu & Takeuchi Takashi in EXTRA Material, Kiara Sessyoin is not her real name. Her real name is Inoriara Sessyoin and her actual age is late twenties. She was born as the daughter of true mantra of Tachikawa yo Tennaga, but she was bedridden and didn’t existed until at the age of 14 because she was sickly by birth. She was caught in commandments, that for their own “pitiable” appearance of the surrounding people who didn’t know it saves by saying, a pure human’s image that existed in the story vanished too.

At the age of 14, the believer was told by a doctrine of spirit hacking, her sickness recovers in a moment completely unknown to the outside. However, it accompanies along missing people and the dead increased suddenly, and she was completely denied in the presence level to the father who became aware of the accident, the reason “Though she is a woman, I am seeking to become one with that woman”, he denied to realize it, then expelled on suspicions of violating two taboos of the Tachikawa Style. To that morrow, she takes away the father’s skull principal image, states “the master is deprived of technique tools” the last taboo was broken with this, the killer match of the believer, it left from all religious organizations that had become the dead, excluding her.

Afterwards, though she has saved the believers’ belief of the Tachikawa Style, the believe who became loved dearly was said to committed suicide one after another for her. In addition, she was put on the wanted list by the Western Europe plutocracy for the exploitation of code cast of the electronic brain, the maximum taboo in history.

Also she can fights and take down an average human nor a weak servant by her own potential without her final boss form. Just look at this video and count how many skills she got (Spoiler alert). And she is the first person who awakes ORT from eternal slumber....according from Koha Ace. Are you for real Keikenchi? “ So; fun fact -- none of this is true. It’s all made up. Oh; but you know what’s the MOST infruitating? “ The difference between Altria & Jeanne is sex appeal. Which is already explained in TYPE MOON April Fool 2012, where Heroine X (Altria) in furious when she heard that Jeanne’s sex appeal is better than her. “

THIS IS FAKE. THE FUCKING SEX APPEAL DIFFERENCE IS FAKE. You know the shit about Siegfried and Semiramis having a different artist and copyright issues with that is probably fake too. Anyways; what does this all mean? WE need to fucking recheck probably a good chunk of things we’re spreading around in this fandom. It also means that a lot of information on the Fandom wiki is likely straight up false (not surprising) which can mean its absolutely *useless* for lore referencing for *anyone*. This is for the English speaking side of the fandom so far; so; yeah. This is pretty fucked. Shinichameleon is now posting in danganronpa reddits so; I guess look out danganronpa fans.

#fate #fate stay night #fate apocrypha #fgo #long post #psa #I've stalled on posting this long enough so here we go.#I think this is a suitable summary of what was found.#this is looooooong

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cody-paranatural · 5 months

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Ok, so not like it wasn't already clear why Cody was pissed at Hijack, but I just realised the whole "gaining control over Jeff's body without his consent to hurt somebody as a misguided way to help Jeff but really to fulfill Hijack's plan" must have hit reaaally close to home. You see, there is this psychological phenomenon called projecten-

HELLO ANON I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT SEEING THIS ASK LITERALLY MADE ME WANT TO START EATING CONCRETE /POS

THIS RESPONSE IS GOING TO BE ALL OVER THE PLACE AND WAY TOO LONG SO SORRY IN ADVANCE <3

And you are so right!!!!!! Like obviously, Cody would’ve gotten mad about Hijack targeting his best friend no matter what his ability was, but the fact that he literally took control over his body and forced him to do things he never would’ve done on his own definitely hit close to home. I thought there was no way his dad’s ability to literally take away his free will didn’t mess with Cody’s head since I’ve first read his and Davy’s chapter 5 argument, but these last 3 updates really showed the extent of his father’s abuse on his psyche and I personally have been LOVING going back and rereading Cody’s previous appearances with all of this new context in mind. And like even without the fact that Cody literally can’t disobey his father’s commands, Cody is very much someone who has never been allowed to show any kind of individuality. There are so many little ways in which Davy takes away Cody’s autonomy and disregards his personhood.

It drives me crazyyyyy. Davy in general is the kind of person who is far too egotistical and self-absorbed to ever really think about people beyond the role he assigned them to, all he sees is how they relate to him. And no one knows that better than Cody! Because there is no one Davy desires to control more than Cody. Remember chapter 8 page 1? The one thing that finally made Davy’s mask slip, the one thing that actually got to him was Max saying that Cody is nothing like him. Davy was pissed that someone dared to imply that Cody was anything but his miniature copy. Cody is literally not allowed to have any privacy, to have anything beyond what his father wants for him. He can’t even get out of the house on his own (and hearing him say he has guards was soooo vindicating I knew i had a good reason to pay so much attention to “something about strict orders not to mention it to Davy’s son when on protective detail” from chapter 7 page 62), he’s not allowed to carry his own money, he literally owns a copy of Davy’s signature gray pinstripe suit, hell even his hair looks So Much like his dad’s (ESPECIALLY when he was younger) there’s no way that isn’t a dad approved haircut. He doesn’t even have any privacy in his own body because his dad can literally feel his heartbeat (and the fact that’s not something Cody himself can’t do, that this happened when Cody was so young he doesn’t even remember ever feeling it is so. Oh Davy Jones there is a special place in hell with your name on it).

His room doesn’t even have a window. And I know this is the vampire house, but the fact that we learned this information in the same sentence where his room was described as having “no single such escape route” and now with the added context that he wants to run away from home is making this information very upsetting to me. So yeah, Hijack’s power is definitely a sore spot for Cody and it’s why I’m so happy we finally got to see these two (or well. three) interact!!!! And it’s everything I ever wanted and so much more. And I looooove that despise this mostly friendly demeanor Cody made it very clear that he’s still mad about what happened with Jeff and that he very much does not consider Hijack to be his friend (“So thanks for not being one, I guess!”). And that the one time Cody came off as genuinely threatening and malicious was when Right Hijack refused to leave (the right side of) his body (I have soooo many thoughts about that scene btw. And about Cody’s overall opinion of himself and his morality I have thought about this often and elaborately).

But even then, Cody did seem to be more outwardly angry about Hijack doing this to Jeff then him. Cody is on some level used to this. He doesn’t accept it, he’s not resigned to his fate as evidenced by him wanting to run away from home but this has been his life for the past 12 years, but it probably hurt so much to see someone he loves going through something he’s so familiar with. Especially when you consider that Cody, much like Davy (though obviously not to such an unhealthy degree), is very protective of the people he cares about and seems to have a strong desire to be in control (possibly stemming from the complete lack of control he has over his own life?). Sorry, I know I’ve been rambling but I love talking about pnat and especially Cody <3

#paranatural #pnat #cody jones #paranatural cody #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK ANON #I REALLY APPRECIATE IT #it's been a while since i wrote a large block of text about cody jones i think i needed that #though this is the first time i did it publicly

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thesweetnessofspring · 7 months

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Roses and Pearls by HalfHope (thesweetnessofspring)

Rated: E

Description: Peeta Mellark is the sole victor of the Quarter Quell. With District 12 nothing but ash, he rebuilds his life by moving to the Capitol and falling in love with Rosalia Snow, granddaughter to Coriolanus Snow.

Then people Peeta thought long dead kidnap him and Rosalia, including the one person he hates more than anyone: Katniss Everdeen. They say he's been hijacked. They say that he used to love her. Locked away in District 13, Peeta is determined to protect his mind and his fiancée from the rebels. But while imprisoned, videos disprove his memories and his feelings toward Katniss grow confusing. Who can he trust, and what really happened in his past?

Thank you to @louezem for being the best beta and cheerleader and for helping me track down the original version of this. And huge, huge, HUGE thank you to @ldyglfr62 for having an original version saved and sharing it with me again so I can revise and finish what I started 10 years ago.

Chapter One

I wait behind the stage as Caesar Flickerman makes jokes about his age, the audience roaring with laughter as he impersonates a hobbling old man horny for his Avox to give him a sponge bath. After forty-six years of hosting the Hunger Games, Caesar is retiring.

He wraps up his bit and the audience quiets. Caesar turns more serious as he says, "While I have bittersweet feelings about leaving, I'm excited to announce the new host of The Capitol Late Night Show and the upcoming Eighty-First Hunger Games: Peeta Mellark!"

My cue. I come on the stage, waving and smiling at the cheering people who create a pointillism painting, each one a dot of a different color. Caesar, with shiny metallic silver hair and suit to match, reaches out his hand, then jerks it back before I can grab it. I put my hands on my hips and shake my head as if jilted, raising titters among the crowd. Caesar and I shake hands this time, slapping each other's backs.

"Who would have thought when you were a tribute seven years ago, that you'd be replacing me?" Caesar asks after the cheers die down. "I certainly didn't!"

I grin. "I wouldn't either, Caesar. But so much has happened since then, and I'm so grateful for all of it. For the people of the Capitol to accept me after the Quarter Quell and those rebels destroyed my home. That I've been chosen for this job, and of course, to find love again."

"That's right, you're engaged! We haven't had a chance to talk since it's happened," Caesar says. His face grows solemn. "You must get this all the time, Peeta, but I have to ask: how do you think Katniss would feel about this recent turn in your life?"

Katniss again. I wish I could just get through one interview without that bitch's name brought up. But as she planned it, I can't escape her, even with her dead and gone for six years now. Even with another woman in my arms. Even with the rebellion squashed under the Capitol for a second time.

"I know Katniss wanted me to live a full life, even without her," I say, my voice soft. "She's not gone from my heart, she never will be, but Rosalia Snow has given me so much of the happiness and love I needed to heal. I think Katniss would be happy for us. If our fates had been switched, I know I would have been for her."

I've said something similar to this so many times I'm surprised the audience still sighs and I see a few people at the front have watery eyes. Their hearts break more for her loss than mine ever did. I let a slow, easy smile crawl back up my face.

"But what I think what the audience wants to know, Caesar, is what you'll be doing now," I say.

"Absolutely nothing!" Caesar says, and the crowd laughs and applauds.

"Watch your figure," I say. "You wouldn't want to lose it."

"But my dear Peeta, that's what retirement is for."

We continue our banter about body image, diets, and golf until time comes for us to sign off. We say good-night, the camera's red light stops blinking, and the audience stands up.

Rosalia's in the front row and climbs up the stage to come kiss me. Her rosy-pink curls brush against my cheeks. She pulls back a little, her bright green eyes fluttering open, and puts her left hand on my face, her engagement ring sparkling.

"How did I do?" I ask.

"Charming as always," Rosalia says, then the smile from her plump lips fade. "Except…"

"I know. But I can't help that they bring her up so much," I say. Rosalia's the only person alive who knows the truth about Katniss and I. Of how she twisted the first game so we were stuck with each other, how she abused me, how she never really loved me and only used me to get ahead in the Games. Only she knew of my relief to find that when Katniss blasted the force field in the Quarter Quell, she died.

Rosalia brushes my blond hair back. "Now that you're a host, will you please let me give you a make-over? I know I said blue before, but I’m thinking purple now, it’s much more in style. Of course, though, we won't even touch your eyes. They're perfect as they are."

I shake my head. "I'm sticking with the way I am."

Rosalia pouts, but contends as she always does when she wants me to get tattoos or dye my hair or fill my lips.

Caesar walks away from his crowd of fans at the edge of the stage toward the two of us. "Are you lovebirds coming to my party tonight?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Rosalia says. I pull her closer into my chest, breathing in her flowery perfume.

"Any chance you could get that father of yours to show up?" Caesar flashes her his pearly smile.

“He’s less of a fan of parties than my grandfather was,” Rosalia says.

“Probably better for the President to not be there, right, Caesar?” I say. “Won’t have to worry about keeping everything above board then.”

Caesar laughs. “Oh, Peeta. Sometimes you’re still that boy from Twelve.”

A breath jabs in the center of my chest at the mention of home like a shard of glass. The boy from Twelve, spoken of in such simple terms by people here at the Capitol. But I am now the only boy from Twelve. The only person. Not even Haymitch, discovered to be a rebel traitor and shot down in a hovercraft attempting to escape during the Quell, was left.

Continue reading on ao3

#everlark fanfiction #thg fanfiction #everlark

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starlightshadowsworld · 18 days

Text

Agency informant Izaya

Spoilers for Stormbringer

The day Dazai truly realised how much Izaya meant to him and how much he trusted him, was the day he lost Odasaku.

However, the day Chuuya realised it came a whole lot sooner than that. Don't get him wrong, Chuuya liked Izaya. He had expected the worst when Dazai had introduced his friend.

Chuuya was surprised to see someone so human. Izaya was wicked intelligent, he was probably one of the few people who could follow Dazai's line of thoughts.

But he was kind and didn't hide it. Doing things like researching wines just to keep up with Chuuya in a conversation about something he was passionate about.

The way he acted was eerily similar to the Flags. Izaya didn't falter even if Chuuya was in a bad mood, he was patient and always bright.

Chuuya wondered sometimes if it would be a good or bad idea to introduce them. But it turns out he didn't need to make that choice.

The scene in Old World was horrifying but immediately Adam began talking. However, it wasn't his voice that was speaking. "Izaya?" A relieved sigh filled the air.

"The one and only, I do apologise for the nightmare fuel but the bodies your seeing aren't real."

Chuuya frowned, walking to Lippman and inspecting the body. While it looked horrifically lifelike, it was fake.

"How did you..."

"Dazai let it slip you were being hunted down at our weekly chess game." Even without him being there, Chuuya could picture the anger on Izaya's face hearing the news.

"I did some digging, figured who his targets were and had your friends moved to a secure location." Izaya's voice became a lot more gentle "they're all here, say hi guys."

The collective "hi" from everyone shouldn't have made tears well up in Chuuya's eyes but it did.

They were safe, they were all safe and alive.

"But how you get the bodies and set this up so fast?" Asked Chuuya, curious. Izaya and Dazai would've had their game about 4 hours ago.

"Your friend, who I sincerely apologise for hijacking by the way, isn't the only one of his kind. While not as sophisticated, robots like him do exist. And I have more than a few people who owe me a favour."

Even so this was a lot of blood, and unlike the bodies it was real. As if reading his mind, Izaya carried on.

"The blood was the hard part but I contacted Mori and told him the situation. We made a deal, should the time ever arise I owe him a favour one I can't refuse. And he supplied me with what I needed now from the Port Mafia's blood bank."

Chuuya's eyes widened in shock.

"You... You made a deal, with the Port Mafia just to help me?"

"Of course." Said Izaya like it was nothing big. And it hit Chuuya just how much he cared about him. Izaya had put himself in danger, just to help him.

Despite befriending himself and Dazai, Izaya firmly stayed away from the Port Mafia's buisness. And especially from Mori who has his eyes on him for a long time.

The Flags had risked their necks by being close to him. For giving him proof he was human behind the Boss's back.

All because they cared about him.

They shouldn't, he was more trouble than he was worth but Chuuya couldn't feel anything but relief.

"Got any ideas for what comes next?"

Izaya chuckled "of course, but for that we should meet in a more secure location. The phone lines are bugged and as fun as this is, I should give your friend back his voice soon."

Adam came back, grumbling but he seemed relieved. Chuuya write down the address and started to move out with Adam in tow.

For the first time since thus shit begun, Chuuya felt like everything was going to be okay.

"Wait, what about you? He'll be after you." Chuuya ignored that he'd basically just realised and admitted Izaya was important to him.

Izaya's voice returned momentarily. "Oh don't worry about me. I'm a lot more difficult to kill that people realise. Besides, I've got a plan.

#bsd stormbringer #bsd chuuya #durarara #izaya orihara #drrr #drrr izaya #bungou stray dogs #bsd #chuuya nakahara #Agency informant Izaya

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tastybluesprite · 1 year

Text

A Nightmare

So, this fic was an idea I had, where Donnie has trauma from hijacking the Kraang Ship, and gets nightmares about it sometimes, and so I wrote it down! This is for sure darker than my usual content but I hope you like it anyway. Also this is non tickles, just letting people who follow me and know my usual content know!!!!

Warnings: A good amount of angst but has comfort at the end, some graphic imagery that could be disturbing or distressing to those who will be uncomfortable with it, also slight moment of vomiting so if you are uncomfortable with that be warned.

Summery: Donnie has a terrible nightmare. Luckily Leo is there to comfort him.

For a moment Donnie thought he was floating. He couldn’t see anything. He didn’t even know where he was. Suddenly he felt it. Sliminess touching his shell. He turned to see Kraang tentacles. They waved around like the gross organisms they were.

He attempted to distance himself from them, but he suddenly felt frozen, almost paralyzed.

“N-No.. NO!” He yelped, trying to Will his body to move. The tentacle wormed its way around his ankle and curled its way up to his lower shell. “G-GET OFF!!” He yelled with pure terror. But the tentacles didn’t listen. They finally then pierced his shell and he let out a shriek as he intensified his attempts to move.

But it was no use.

He had no choice but to let the stupid, disgusting tentacles explore his soft shell. His highly sensitive and vulnerable soft shell…

Suddenly he woke with a jolt. He thought he was alone, but saw Leo having knelt down next to his bed side.

“Hey Dontron,” Leo said gently, “you ok bud? It sounded like you were having quite the nightmare. You’re almost as pale as a ghost.”

Leo usually had a gentler tone when Donnie was in serious distress or even if he had a nightmare. Much like tonight.

Donnie didn’t say anything but nodded to confirm. Leo sighed softly and sat on side edge of his bed near him. “You wanna talk about it?” He asked.

Donnie still felt his soft shell tingling. The dream had caused him severe overstimulation. He opened his mouth to say something, but ended up retching over the side of his bed.

Leo jumped back in surprise, and quickly knelt back to Donnie’s side in deep concern, feeling at his forehead. Donnie then felt hot tears fill his eyes and he broke down into sobs.

Leo was unsure about what to do for a moment, but then pulled Donnie towards him to let him cry into his shoulder, making hushing sounds in attempts to sooth him.

It took a while for Donnie to finally calm down. When he stopped crying he wiped his tears and tried taking deep breaths.

“Donnie, what happened?” Leo asked, even more gently than before. Donnie’s mind flashed with the Kraang tentacles, and he shuddered.

“I-I… dreamt about those stupid tentacles. The ones I had to touch to hijack the Kraang ship.” Donnie just realized now he had been trembling violently.

Leo frowned “Oh? What about it?”

Donnie sighed and shuddered again. “I d-dreamt that.. that they were attacking me. I couldn’t move Leo. I couldn’t do anything. It was horrible. I could…” he fought the urge to gag, “I could feel it. All over my shell. I… I can still feel it now.”

“Oh… Donton I’m so sorry you had to go through that…” Leo said as he squeezed Donnie’s had. He meant both the dream and when he had to hijack the ship.

“Anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable?” Leo asked him.

“C-Can… you do shell rubs, to help the tingles? I know Raph usually does it when I get like this, but I trust you also Leo.”

Part of why he asked Leo was because he didn’t want to wake Raph, but in truth he did trust his twin to help him with something like this.

Leo smiled. “Of course I can Don…”

Leo pulled him close, so that they were in a hugging position, with Donnie’s head resting on Leo’s shoulder. Leo then began to gently and very lightly rub at his twins soft shell.

Donnie flinched at his shell being touched, but soon felt himself being comforted by the contact. Leos fingers didn’t put too much pressure that it hurt his already sensitive shell.

It was light enough that it felt soothing. He felt the feeling of the fingers replacing the feeling of any tentacles.

Soon he patted Leo to signal him to stop. Leo released him and smiled “You feel any better?”

“Much.” Donnie replied, returning Leos smile with his own smaller one.

“And do you want me to…” Leo began, but Donnie nodded “Yes. Please stay.”

And so Leo did just that. He went under the covers next to him and cuddled up to his twin as they both got comfortable.

“What about that?” Donnie suddenly asked as he pointed to the nasty mess he made at the side of his bed earlier.

Leo grimaced but it melted into a soft smile. “Don’t worry about that Donton. Tomorrow we can clean it. For now, you sleep.”

And soon, they both drifted off to sleep. Leo held him close, and Donnie felt safe. No Kraang tentacles was going to get him. He had his brothers by his side, always.

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sajirah · 3 months

Text

The Prison Chapter One

The Prison

In honor of me being newly unemployed and House of Flame and Shadow dropping in less than 2 weeks I wrote a thing. You can read it here or on AO3. Enjoy.

-o0o-

Feyre was a murderer.

That was why she was here after all, staring out at the island that was soon to be her prison. She probably deserved it. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t absolutely petrified to be here.

“Any advice?” She asked the marine unlocking her shackles.

He glanced up at her, considering, and then said, “Pretty thing like you? Find the meanest, nastiest fucker on that island and convince him to protect you.”

Feyre didn’t need the soldier to explain how exactly she was expected to ‘convince’ said man. She’d already had plenty of nightmares of exactly that scenario after her sentencing. The worst part was his advice was probably one of her better options.

“Thanks,” she replied quietly. I think.

He didn’t reply, only pulled off her shackles and then took a strong hold of her arm. She didn’t know why he bothered. It’s not like she could hijack this boat and sail it back home all by herself. She didn’t even know how to drive a car, let alone a boat. She supposed she’d never learn now.

The captain stepped in front of her then, weary and clearly wishing he was anywhere else.

The feeling is mutual pal.

“Feyre Archeron, you have been sentenced to life on The Prison. Do you have anything to say before your sentence is carried out?”

The woman in question stared at him blankly. What was even the point? He was going to throw her onto an island of rapists and murderers no matter what she said. She’d already screamed and cried and swore at her trial. What more could she possibly say?

The captain had the gall to look annoyed. As if she were the one ruining his day.

“Right,” He turned to the marine holding her arm. “Toss her and let’s leave this fucking place.”

Toss her?! “Wait, what?!-” But it was already too late and before she could react the marine was hoisting her up and shoving her overboard.

Icy seawater hit her like a ton of bricks. The shock froze her limbs for precious seconds as her mind tried to reorientate itself. Kick! She thought frantically. After a few terrifying moments her body obeyed.

Salt stung her eyes as she broke the surface and sucked in oxygen but she still managed to see the blurry shape of the boat as it passed her and glided off towards the horizon.

“Fuck you!” She shouted after it. It was petty, but who was going to care about her behavior now? Her dead mother? Her absent father? Her sisters she hadn’t seen since she’d been hauled off by the police?

The island loomed large a quarter mile behind her. She supposed it didn’t matter to the courts if their prisoners actually made it onto the island. Just that they’d been dumped within its vicinity so there was no hope of them ever escaping.

How far even was the mainland from here? Thirty miles? Forty? Fifty? It had taken at least a few hours to get here. They’d left at 9 am sharp and if the sun was anything to go by it was barely noon. Not that any of this mattered. She was never going home.

No one escaped The Prison.

For a few indulgent moments Feyre considered letting herself drown. As terrible as it seemed, it certainly had its appeal compared to eking out a miserable existence on an island full of dangerous criminals. After all, they didn’t send just anyone to The Prison. Only the worst of the worst for this place. Murderers. Serial killers. Violent rapists. Enemies of the rich and powerful.

It was dizzying to think she was considered one of them now.

She let the moment of self pity linger and then let it go. Right. She’d never been a quitter. She wasn’t about to start now.

Resigned, she pointed herself towards the island and started swimming.

-o0o-

Feyre arrived upon her new home’s doorstep looking, for all intents and purposes, like a drowned cat.

It had taken her at least an hour to swim to shore, fighting six foot waves and avoiding what she desperately hoped were not sharks. She couldn’t be sure but she swore something had bumped up against her in the water at some point and hadn’t she read somewhere that sharks bumped into their prey before they circled around to take a bite out of them?

Shivering, she glanced down the beach, hoping against hope none of her fellow prisoners had seen her, but almost immediately she spied two men melting out of the tree line.

Well fuck.

Adrenaline flooded her veins and she scrambled to her feet as one of the men crept closer, holding his hands up as if she were a spooked horse. He was older, hair grayed and skin weathered by the sun. Clothes barely more than rags. Was this what awaited her if she managed to survive as long as him? Rotted teeth and preying upon new arrivals like scavengers?

“Easy there doll. We’re not gonna hurt ya…”

Either he thought she was a moron or he was one himself because Feyre knew exactly what that man had planned for her and quite a lot of hurt was involved.

“Bet you’re real hungry after that swim,” the other man said. He was younger than his companion, but in many ways he looked worse off. Starved and mean looking. “We’ve got some food over at our camp. We’ll share it…”

Even if she were desperate enough to take him up on his offer, his hollow cheekbones and bony wrists led her to believe that statement was a load of bullshit.

She waited, muscles coiled and tense as the men drew ever closer. Suddenly the skinny one reached out, attempting to make a grab for her but Feyre was ready for him. She kicked the sand and it arced up and sprayed straight into his eyes. He howled, clutching at his face, and stumbled forward but she was already bolting out of reach and into the forest.

“Wait, come back!” The older man shouted.

“I can’t see!” The other roared. “I’ll fucking kill her!”

But Feyre was already putting as much distance between her and her would-be captors as possible, not knowing which direction she was going except that it was ‘anywhere but here’. She heard the older man crashing in the underbrush just behind her, shouting at her like she were an unruly dog set loose.

She didn’t even realize his shouts had stopped until she was halfway up the hill. She dared a glance over her shoulder and saw nothing but trees and ferns.

Good.

She kept climbing.

-o0o-

It’s getting dark.

That was all Feyre could think as she wandered the woods in search of food and shelter. So far she’d found a tiny stream of questionable quality and a crooked stick. She supposed she could poke someone’s eye out with it if she was very lucky and her attacker were very still but she wasn’t holding out much hope in that department. Unfortunately the other items on her survival list had yet to be discovered.

Though with the way the sun was going down she was starting to worry. The temperature was dropping rapidly and though her clothes had long since dried they weren’t exactly made to keep one warm in near freezing weather. When she’d first realized they intended to send her off to her final destination in only her prison uniform she’d nearly fought them.

“You can’t be serious!” She’d raged at the officers escorting her onto the boat. “How am I supposed to survive without a coat? A knife? A lighter?”

The officers had been silent but their message was loud and clear: You don’t.

They expected her to die out here. They expected them all to die out here. Well clearly they hadn’t met Feyre. If there was one thing she was good at it was survival. And spite.

Especially that last one.

Still, if she didn’t find shelter soon even sheer undiluted spite was going to have trouble keeping her warm.

It took another hour before she found what she was looking for.

In the dying light, she spotted a little burrow under a rocky outcrop. It would be a tight squeeze, but it was better than her current options which were…nothing. It wasn’t exactly the Four Seasons, but it would mostly protect her from the elements and, more importantly, keep her out of sight. The last thing she needed was another of her fellow prisoners happening upon her while she slept.

As she wormed her way into the muddy crevice, she wistfully reminisced upon her bed back home.

To think, just a year ago she had been sitting in an upscale dining hall, celebrating her sister’s marriage. If someone had told her then what her future held she never would’ve believed them.

And still, she couldn’t fully regret the actions that had led her here.

Perhaps if she hadn’t seen the bruises littering Nesta’s arms things would’ve been different, but she had. And once she had seen them she couldn’t unsee them, no matter how many long sleeved dresses and cardigans her sister wore afterwards. Feyre still had the image of purple fingerprints dotting her sister’s wrist branded into the backs of her eyelids. Nesta never said a word about them. No matter how many times Feyre and Elain begged her to. She had been the very picture of the quiet, demure wife.

And Feyre had hated it.

Perhaps it would’ve gone on indefinitely like that, Nesta’s stoic silence and her sisters’ outspoken concern, but then it had happened.

It had been over something innocuous, his breakfast not being done on time, his coffee being too hot, or his newspaper not being laid out on the table the way he liked. Whatever it was, all Feyre remembered was the way her sister had reacted to her husband’s ire, braced and waiting for a blow. She’d seen it in her eyes. The hatred. The fear. The self loathing of having her sisters here to witness her humiliation. And then he’d grabbed her by the chin, fingers pressed deep enough to leave marks and Feyre had seen red.

Perhaps she truly deserved to be here for what had happened next. For the sheer satisfaction she had felt as she’d watched him bleed out around the butter knife in his eye socket. All she had known then was that this man would never touch her sister again.

She had never lost a moment’s sleep after doing what she did. When she had closed her eyes in her cell after her arrest the only thing she had regretted was the looks of horror and disbelief on her sisters’ faces. She hated that her final memories of her family were those.

But she still couldn’t regret it. No amount of wealth was worth broken bones. Nesta may have been willing to live in gilded luxury for the price of her battered body, but that wasn’t a trade Feyre agreed with. Better her sister live a rich widow who hated her. Better she was thrown to the rapists and murderers.

And I’d do it again. Every time. Feyre thought as she curled into the mud and let her exhaustion lull her to sleep.

Elsewhere, in the gathering dark, something stirred. The other prisoners retreated to the shoreline. They knew better than to enter the forest at night.

There you are. A voice whispered into Feyre’s dreams. I’ve been waiting for you.

#the prison #fanfiction #fanfic #my fic #acotar #feysand #you don’t understand I haven’t written anything in ages #this is so unbaeted and for that I am sorry #I wrote this in a mad rush over the last two days #I don’t think I even remember what day it is today

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lady-october · 17 days

Text

Pairing : Oli Sykes x Female Assistant Genre : Romance, Smut (18+ Only) Previous Chapters : 1-12 on Archive of Our Own

Story Content : 18+, Smut, Drama, Choking, Power dynamics, Romance, Dom/Sub, Sadism/Masochism, Mentions of addiction & self harm, Degradation, Praise kink, Exhibitionism, Breath play, Dirty talk.

Summary :

“Don’t you see what a dangerous game you’re playing? Why did you have to look so fucking delicious tonight, I couldn’t stop undressing you in my mind, thinking of all the twisted things I want to do to you.” She had only worked on the touring team for three weeks, but her mind had been hijacked by dirty thoughts of a man she barely even talked to. Sure, he was very attractive, but were there other reasons she was so uncontrollably drawn to him? This is a filthy story of pain, self discovery, and love.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Chapter 13: Everything is so fucked

Chapter title is lyrics from "Teardrops"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

If there was ever a time for the ground to open up beneath my feet and put me out of my misery, it would be now.

Suddenly it was like the band members were taking turns trying to charm me, coming up with any excuse to get my attention, with Mat – the drummer of the group – coming on the strongest by a longshot, having effectively gotten me alone within a couple of hours after getting back on the bus.

We were both down on our knees, rummaging through some luggage next to his bunk as the bus gently swayed from driving along the straight desert motorway. He proclaimed he’d lost his best pair of earplugs that was necessary for the night due to Lee’s obnoxious snoring, which in turn had resulted in a heated argument about who snores the most. Once that settled down he’d casually yelled after me to help him look for them as he was already stalking up the stairs.

I really wasn’t used to this type of attention from men. Besides Oli, I’d only been approached maybe a handful of times – and that includes the creep at last night's party. I always just assumed men didn’t find me too attractive, but now I’m starting to think that maybe it had more to do with how I presented myself to the world. Being as chronically shy as I am, I mostly tried to hide myself, attempting to get as little attention as possible with my wardrobe choices. But since joining the tour – since everything that happened with my ex, and since trying to get out of my shell a bit more, I’ve essentially worn less and less each week, revealing more of my body than I had ever done before.

I knew it had successfully gotten Oli’s attention, but it turns out the others had apparently enjoyed the view as well. And while I was actually quite flattered, I was having enough of a hard time juggling Oli and all the confusing things he was making me feel. The last thing I needed right now was Mat having me go on a wild goose chase for some earplugs I wasn’t sure were missing in the first place.

After a couple minutes looking through the luggage with him, I fished out the second pair of earplugs I’d found, “What about these?”

His eyes lit up, and the warmest smile I’d ever seen on him emerged on his face.

“Bloody brilliant, love. We’d be lost without you.” He said in a low voice, his eyes meeting mine as he took them off of me. I noticed the lust lingering there, despite it being very subdued. Much like Oli, it turns out Mat was also a charmer, just a completely different flavour. Where Oli was passionate and deep, like an ocean and its all-consuming and unpredictable waves, Mat carried an earthy warmth to him. He seemed solid, reliable, in a way that made you feel like you’d known him your whole life.

I gave him a bashful smile before I started packing his luggage back up, but the bus swayed unexpectedly and I fell straight into his lap with a yelp, knocking him into the bunk opposite us from the impact. I held onto him, trying to prevent us from sliding further down the walkway, but he immediately grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me off of him.

“Bloody hell, you alright?” He asked, looking genuinely worried while helping us both back onto our knees – as if falling on him could have somehow injured me, then removed his hands from me completely.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? I just knocked you over.” I said with a laugh.

He laughed, “I don’t want to be too forward with you, love.”

Realisation hit; he thought being so physically close to me, having touched me or accidentally felt my body against his, might have been inappropriate in some way – despite it not even having been his fault.

It was both endearing and ironic, considering he’d just made up losing his earplugs to get me alone. I couldn’t help but laugh as well.

“Not too forward? You’ve worked awfully hard to get me alone you know.”

My words slipped out of me before I had a chance to think about what I was saying – or how I was saying it. The flirtatious mood I’d just been in while texting Oli had clearly not worn off yet, and in combination with how relaxed I felt in Mat’s down to earth presence, I had let my guard down entirely, causing me to speak without my usual filter; causing me to sound incredibly flirty.

Panic set in as I saw Mat’s face shift to reveal more of the subdued lust that was emitting off of him, “That obvious, huh?”

Kicking myself mentally, I fumbled for words, not sure how to get myself out of the situation I had so foolishly put myself in. When I failed to produce a response, Mat pulled himself up, holding onto the top bunk as the bus continued to sway gently, then offered me a helping hand. Stunned, I simply took it and let him help me up.

But to my surprise he didn’t let go of my hand once I was standing.

I swallowed, my panic growing further, having me contemplate awkwardly making a run for the stairs, but Mat spoke before my brain had a chance to get itself out of the stunlock.

“You like Meg Myers, right?”

Another wave of shock washed over me; my first day on the tour Mat had asked me what music I was into, I’d blurted out Meg Myers in a rush as I was busy attempting to check off everything on Liam’s tasklist.

I couldn’t believe he remembered.

“Y-yes.” I answered, as it was the only response I could find while my fingers still rested in Mat’s warm and calloused hand.

“Well I know tomorrow’s schedule is unusually chaotic, but we’ve planned to spend some time with the opening bands after the gig. Just backstage of course, so about as informal as it gets,” He started, his sunny smile reappearing on his lips, this time laced with a suggestiveness that made me feel a blush creep up my face, “Would be lovely to spend some time with you then… Cause I gave Meg Myers a listen and I have to say I’m really enjoying what I’ve heard so far, both lyrically and musically she’s pretty impressive. Maybe we could talk about other music you like, or just get to know each other a little better in general.”

As he watched me with questioning eyes, having essentially just asked me out on a date, I was struggling to not visibly hyperventilate. Not only was I the reason he didn’t know what was going on between me and Oli, but I had also just unintentionally led him on by very obviously flirting with him.

It felt incredibly cruel to turn him down now, but I knew I had to.

I opened my mouth to speak, to let him down as gently as I possibly could, but he brought my hand up to his lips and gave it a chaste kiss, “I’ll save a seat next to me, love.”

Throwing me one last smile, he let go of my hand and began taking strides towards the stairs. I wanted to tell him to stop, to let him know I wasn’t up for anything he was suggesting, but he had disappeared before my tangled mind had sorted itself out.

Shit.

I was left standing in front of Mat’s open luggage, wondering how today had turned itself so completely upside down, so very quickly.

Trying not to cry out of frustration, I put away Mat’s luggage in a rush and started descending the stairs.

I couldn’t even make eye contact with Oli as I made a bee-line for the front of the bus; I decided that it was best if I spent the rest of the evening up front with Liam, where, hopefully, no one else would attempt to ask me out on a date.

As soon as I collapsed into the seat next to him he flooded me with apologies,

“Listen, Alice. I’m so sorry for asking about the nap thing at the diner, I had no clue it would spark such questions, but it was entirely too risky of me regardless.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not your fault – they apparently already knew.” I said, feeling a nearly hysterical laughter trying to push its way up my throat.

“Wait, seriously?”

“Oh and Mat just asked me on a date.”

“What!?” Liam’s eyes went wide as saucers.

As I filled him in on all the details I was struck with such an overwhelming sense of dread that for a short moment I considered simply quitting this job and flying back home to England on the next available flight. The thought of spiralling down into suicidal misery and rotting in bed all day somehow felt more appealing than the prospect of these lies and broken hearts.

But as soon as I finished talking, Liam said something that snapped me out of it enough to at least consider my options further before throwing in the towel on the mess I’d created.

“Fucking hell, Alice... At least your life isn’t boring.”

While he had said it with pity in his heart, I couldn’t help but feel some hope. Because while my life was a complete disaster at the moment, I had, at the very least, managed to break free from the zombie-like state I’d been trapped in for the past 11 years.

When Liam parked up for the night I waited up front until everyone had gone upstairs. It wasn’t until the noises died down that I readied myself for bed and gingerly made my way up the steps to the second floor.

As soon as I pulled the privacy curtain on my bunk shut, I picked up my phone, knowing I had to fill Oli in on the events.

“Alice: Mat asked me to hangout with him tomorrow after the concert.”

I cringed as I had intentionally avoided the word ‘date’, but I knew the same point still came across.

His response came quickly.

“Oli: What did you say?”

“Alice: He didn’t give me a chance to respond.”

“Oli: Are you interested in him?”

Another quick response, followed up by an immediate reminder of the deal we struck earlier.

“Oli: Remember, no lying.”

His question made me feel uneasy, because the truth is someone like Mat used to be the exact type of guy I would find attractive. I would easily get crushes on guys that were charming in similar ways, or came across as laid back and down to earth. It didn’t help that he was the spitting image of a guy I used to have a work crush a couple of years ago.

It also didn’t help that he reminded me a fair bit of my ex. Or at least who he was in the beginning of our relationship, before things started to go down hill – before he changed. So I can’t help but feel like I could have enjoyed spending time with Mat, if it wasn’t for a certain someone who had taken me by storm, making me question what my type is at all anymore.

I took a deep breath, trying to think of a way to respond while both being honest, and trying to cause as little unnecessary jealousy as possible.

“Alice: I’m not sure he’s my type anymore.”

There was a longer pause between responses this time, causing me to tense up.

“Oli: Is your type by any chance a 3.8, singer from Sheffield?”

The tension left my body. Despite the knot in my stomach feeling like I was leading him on, some light-hearted flirting was a nice change of pace to our previously serious conversation. Plus it was hard to fight the urge to flirt with him, it just came so naturally.

“Alice: You know you’re a 10.”

“Oli: Is that so? We should go together perfectly then.”

I internally kicked myself as I felt the panic starting to grow again. It was just light-hearted flirting after all – something I had welcomed with open arms, and so willingly joined in on just a second ago. Yet the overwhelming sense of pressure I felt at his words was undeniable.

I knew I had to take some time to search within myself, to at least attempt to organise the chaos inside me and figure out what I need to do going forward with Oli. So I shoved the phone under my pillow, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath.

Some time passed as I tried to centre myself, and the sounds of soft snoring could be heard all around me alongside the wind from the outside.

As I laid there trying to imagine different outcomes with Oli, and how they all made me feel, I continuously felt myself reaching for the mark on my wrist that he had so lovely kissed earlier today. The more times it happened, the more pressure was building inside me. I could feel a lump grow in my throat filled with trapped emotions that I didn’t know how to draw out without falling apart.

A vibration sounded from beneath my pillow.

“Oli: Night, love.”

It was such a short message, nothing special at all really, yet the emotions that rushed through my body at the sight of it left me with an intense urge to have him here with me in my bunk, holding me as I slept.

I have feelings for him.

My heart began to race at the thought. I didn’t want to allow myself to slip back into panic and run away from my emotions again, instead I gently touched the idea, allowing myself to warm up to the thought, knowing I don’t have time to run away anymore.

But all I could feel was deep, deep discomfort.

Sure, I was terrified, but it was more than that. Something a lot larger and complicated that yanked me in so many different directions I thought my limbs would be torn straight off.

Oli had stirred up so much in me, made me question things about myself, but there was one thing he had instilled in me with complete certainty; there are islands of undiscovered territory within my mind, soul, and heart – I feel incomplete, floating somewhere in the void, not quite tangible or actualized.

Should I really be with anyone at all when I understand this little about myself?

The thought of pursuing something – anything beyond what we were currently doing, made me feel a similar dread to the notion of never talking to him again. So what do you even do with that knowledge? How am I supposed to do anything but suspend myself in this state forever, to simply let myself enjoy him as long as I could before reaching whatever breaking point that was necessary to push me out of it.

I felt the sting of unshed tears behind my eyes.

I have feelings for him.

The shaking took hold of me as the floodgates opened involuntarily, sobbing as quietly as I could, hoping the sounds around me would drown me out as I wept, and I wouldn’t wake anyone.

Another vibration.

“Oli: Do you want me to come lay with you?”

I couldn’t help it, the tears came stronger at his thoughtful message, causing more shaking, and more subtle sounds to escape me.

I guess I hadn’t been as quiet as I’d hoped.

Suddenly I could hear the rustle of fabrics, and the subtle sounds of footsteps coming towards me. Then the curtain of my bunk was silently, ever so gently, pulled back to reveal the silhouette of a kneeling man, the man I apparently had feelings for, only the moonlight spilling in from the skylight letting me see hints of his sympathetic features. Wordlessly he leaned in, reaching out to wipe away some of my tears, caressing my cheek with such tenderness it threatened to unleash the restraints I had put on my crying, and made the lump in my throat grow infinitely more painful as I had to work overtime to push it down. Regardless of the pain, I couldn’t help but lean into his caress, the gesture filling me with such comfort despite coming from the reason I was crying in the first place.

My acceptance of his touch was all it took, he gestured for me to move over so he could slip in next to me. As soon as I did he carefully nestled me into his chest, holding me tight as I silently wept into his t-shirt in the cramped space of the bunk.

The longer I bathed in his scent, in his warmth, and the comforting sound of his steady heartbeat beneath my head, the more consumed with guilt I became.

I felt horrible for accepting his comfort. It wasn’t right, not with the realisations I just had.

One of the hands that had been holding onto me, let go in order to pull the curtain shut, making it seem like he intended to stay.

“You shouldn’t sleep here.” I whispered as softly as I could.

“I won’t. I’ll leave in a bit.” He replied, the whisper barely audible, his breath tickling the hair on top of my head.

The tears continued to stream from my eyes, soaking his shirt. I should tell him to leave now, I shouldn’t allow myself to steal this moment. But my heart wanted him to stay so desperately I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of him.

All I could do was apologise.

“I’m sorry.”

He didn’t respond, he just held me tighter, causing me to feel both infinitely better and worse all at once. I was so fed up with crying, I’d been crying more the past week than I had in years.

Some time passed and my tears finally came to a stop. I was so worn out from all the emotions, from all the guilt, that I just let myself relish the sensation of his hands on me, caressing me slowly, holding me close. How his body so effortlessly, so perfectly moulded to mine... I didn’t want the night to end.

But all things come to an end.

I must have nodded off, because before I knew it I was startled awake by the source of my comfort moving; Oli had opened the curtain and was attempting to untangle himself from me.

Without thinking I grabbed for him, not wanting him to leave, not wanting the emptiness to replace him.

My vision must have adjusted to the darkness because I could make out his features so much clearer now. He wore a similar expression to the one that had caused me to run away in fear in the storage room that night in the arena; filled to the brim with deep sadness and longing – an expression that clearly only surfaced when shrouded in darkness.

But I felt no fear this time.

“Stay.” I mouthed against my better judgement.

The confusion on him was obvious.

He studied my face for a long, thoughtful moment, then shook his head. I was hit with a pang of disappointment, but I wasn’t about to push him, especially when I didn’t know his reasons for wanting to leave. He gave my forehead a soft kiss, then slipped away.

The emptiness that followed was as hollow and cold as I’d expected it to be, leaving my night full of broken sleep and anxious thoughts of tomorrow.

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