James: good morning starshine, the earth says hello
remus: shut the fuck up
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Narcissa: you called Andromeda instead of me?
Bella: well when you have a crazy idea you don’t usually call the voice of reason.
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McGonagall: I'm here to let you know Harry is with You-Know-Who !
Hermione: The gynecologist ?
McGonagall: No, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!
Ron: Hitler ?
McGonagall: No, Lord Voldemort ! ! !
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Remus: *trying to help Sirius with his eyeliner* Right look me straight in the eyes and stop fidgeting.
Sirius: Wait you expect me to look into those big amber eyes AND be straight at the same time!
James: You could always borrow my bi-focal lenses *winks*
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you cant spell Dumbledore without dumb
- The Marauders at some point probably
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walburga: you’re not good enough for my son
remus: you’re not good enough for your son
walburga: excuse me?
remus: you heard me.
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*James, bringing Regulus home to meet his parents*
Regulus, seeing Monty and realizing James will always be hot no matter his age: thank the lord
Effie, seeing the same look she had when she met Monty’s parents for the first time: amen
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Harry: *finds a stray cat*
Harry: Can we keep it?
Regulus: Your dad is allergic.
Harry: Father can stay outside.
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Barty: You slept with Potter?
Regulus: I didn’t know what else to do! He had those big, sad eyes. I couldn’t help it!
Evan: …sure, sounds like you had no other choice
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[Deathly Hallows]
Hermione: Harry-
Harry, sighing despondently: Ginny used to call me Harry.
Ron: Because it's your fucking name.
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Remus: We are screwed.
James: Hey, no, I don’t want to hear that defeatist attitude. I want to hear you upbeat.
Remus, with a mocking smile: We’re screwed!
James: There you go.
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Falling asleep in the dorms…
“Sirius?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t think I like Evans anymore.”
“Shit mate, took you long enough.”
“Heh. Yeah.”
…
“Sirius?”
“Yeah, Prongs?”
“I might like boys. Also. Like as well as girls.”
“Join the club, Prongs. Just stay the fuck away from Moony.”
“Noted.”
…
“Sirius?”
“Yeah, mate?”
“What if I like a particular bloke?”
“…it’s not me, is it? Because Moony would probably kill you.”
“No.”
….
“Sirius?”
“Yes, Prongs?”
“It’s your brother.”
“I know.”
“You know?”
“Yeah, I was just fucking with you before.”
“Right.”
…
“Sirius?”
“Yes Prongs?”
“That’s…it’s okay?”
“Yes, James. I’d rather it be you than anyone else, to be honest.”
“Alright.”
…
“Sirius?”
“Go the fuck to sleep, Prongs. We’ll come up with a plan to woo him tomorrow.”
“Alright.”
….
“James?”
“What’s up, Padfoot?”
“Take care of him, alright?”
“…..yeah. Yeah, of course.”
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James: We need to talk about your mental health.
Regulus, trying to change the subject: Actually, what I need is to be dicked down right now.
James:
Regulus:
James, removing his tie: You know, one of these days that isn't going to work-
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James: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Lily: 'Prettiest Smile'
Peter: 'Nicest Personality'
Sirius: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Remus: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
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Harry standing on his bed at home during sixth year,singing into his hair brush as music blasts from his muggle radio: “But I am my father’s daughter, So maybe I can fix him”
James who’s leaning against his door frame watching him with a confused expression: “What do you think he’s singing about?”
Regulus sighing as he stares at the quidditch sweatshirt Harry has on that clearly said “Malfoy” across the back: “Not a clue babe, Let’s go make dinner”
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Me: *gets periods* *sighs*
Also me: *searches x reader period fics on Tumblr/ao3*
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