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princessjungeun · 2 years

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lily as your girlfriend

*i was thinking of her today and i needed to post something…i’ll edit for spelling and grammar eventually*

🪷 you sat in front of her in geology lecture which you didn’t actually know but lily very much did

🪷 which is also how she ended up failing the first quiz…she was too busy staring at you

🪷 she wanted to introduce herself but chickened out every time she got close enough to do it

🪷 so she just crushed on you from afar

🪷 that was until you both went to the first LGBTQ+ alliance meeting on campus and she saw you

🪷 and coincidentally you sat next to her which made her NERVOUS. like so nervous that your first conversation went a little something like this:

🪷 “hi im lily” “oh hey i’m y/n” “i know- wait no that sounds creepy- i know as in you sit in front of me in geology lecture so…i know you from class” “oh really i didn’t even know, that’s so cool. maybe we can study together some time” “i- yeah- i can- we can…yes please…i’m sorry that entire conversation was so awkward….” “it’s okay, you’re cute”

🪷 yeah that last part had her face RED

🪷 you two did in fact become study buddies for geology which she learned was a topic of interest for you

🪷 so a lot of the times when you two studied you went on little tangents about rocks or geologic processes

🪷 and even though lily understood 10% of whatever your spiel was about, she listened and gave her full attention with that loving look in her eyes

🪷 because although she had no idea what the fuck you meant by ‘a‘ā and pahoehoe lava flows, she was more than happy to hear you talk about them

🪷 lily ended up confessing first and it was so cute because she didn’t realize she admitted it when she did

🪷 she was shocked to find out you liked her too because she was convinced you were out of her league or something

🪷 it took half the semester for you two to get together though because you were those “i need a girlfriend” “yeah me too” *doesn’t do anything about it* gays

🪷 but you two were cute together

🪷 you two explore around your campus and off campus all the time

🪷 so many picnic dates

🪷 even more bookstore dates

🪷 she’s not huge on PDA as in like kissing in public is a no

🪷 but she will hold onto your arm as you walk or she’ll hold your hand

🪷 she does this thing where she gets super shy when you look especially gorgeous— like she’ll look at you then start giggling and covering her face then she’ll look away and it’s that over and over while she is telling you that you’re too beautiful

🪷 you do the same thing but it’s more subtle and it catches her off guard every time because you find her most beautiful when she’s not trying

🪷 like she’ll be writing notes on the other side of her room and you just go “lils look at me” and she does and your eyes go soft and you’re all “you’re so beautiful” and she’s all “🙈 naur dont do that while i’m doing homework”

🪷 you’re both total bookworms and probably the dorkiest people your friends know

🪷 one time her best friend jiyoon invited you both to double date with her girlfriend and you both declined because you were in a HEATED game of scrabble

🪷 then another time you two had a friend intervention because you were both pulling all nighters to read novels. all because lily claimed she could read more books than you in a month.

🪷 you both tied for 5 novels in a month and have yet to reach a tie breaker after 2 years.

🪷 she makes so many corny crunchy annoyingly embarrassing dad jokes that are SO bad it’s actually impressive

🪷 both of you use cheesy ass pickup lines on each other just to see who can do it worse

🪷 she will randomly text you things that remind her of you but it’s never all cute and fluffy like you see in tiktoks or tweets

🪷 one time she sent you a picture of a praying mantis and said it’s face reminded her of you and you replied ???? thanks? and she was like you’re welcome :D

🪷 both of you love movie nights and have had like 40 harry potter and star wars marathons

🪷 she’s not a theater kid but she loves watching musicals

🪷 she’s made you watch phantom of the opera so many times now that you know it all word for word

🪷 you never made it through the first hour of the sound of music because you fall asleep every time

🪷 it took nearly three months for you to learn that lily can SING

🪷 she mentioned it once when you very first met her but all she said was “i sing a little when i’m alone in my room”

🪷 when she said that you expected a little song on a ukulele

🪷 you went expecting her to completely obliterate you in karaoke during a LGBTQ+ alliance club sponsored karaoke night

🪷 she was all shy when she said she was going to sing empire state of mind and next next thing you know she had the whole room silent

🪷 lily steals all of your hoodies but she gives them back in exchange for a different one

🪷 you don’t mind because they smell like her which is comforting…plus you steal her beanies so you can call it even

🪷 pinky promises

🪷 matching bead bracelets you made at 3 AM on a tuesday just because you wanted to have something matching that you made for her

🪷 cuddles are her favorite thing

🪷 when you sleep you hug her closer to your body which makes her so giddy she feels like she’s gonna burst

🪷 weekends are her favorites for that reason— you waking up next to her with your legs tangled together and bodies pressed against one another like puzzle pieces that fit perfectly into place

🪷 and you just end up giggling and kicking each other lightly after waking up

🪷 even when you both feel like you look the most bummy— in the morning with messy hair and crust in your eyes— that’s somehow also when you both think the other is stunning

🪷 you two use pet names but keep the typical ones for private only

🪷 so in public lily is quick to call you “gremlin”

🪷 but when you’re home she’s right back to “my love” or “babe”

🪷 you will call her something like “hobbit”

🪷 when you’re home you call her “jin” which is only acceptable from you

🪷 she’s quick to playfully hit anyone who calls her jin but when it’s you— something about the way you say it makes her all soft and mushy inside and she doesn’t understand it but she loves it

🪷 she get all embarrassed when you call her “baby” so you only ever say it when you two are alone and even then it’s just a mumble against her lips before you kiss her or right when you’re saying goodnight

🪷 you’re her first everything and she is yours too so things are definitely awkward and wrong but you both figure things out eventually

🪷 it’s cute though— your first kiss was just you both asking “is this okay” then going in for it then shying away until literally having to do a 1-2-3 count for it and after you two fell out laughing because you were so scared over something you realized wasn’t all that scary

🪷 all in all you two just enjoy the bliss that is young love. holding onto one another’s hearts and promising not to let them go.

#nmixx lily #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #nmixx imagines #nmixx scenarios #nmixx reactions #lily morrow #kpop girl group reactions #kpop girl group fluff #kpop girl group scenarios #my precious lilypad

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slowdripsunrise · 9 months

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BOOK REVIEW AGAINNNNNNN yippee i have actually been reading... not a lot but well i am ! kinda forgot about this blog ok thats not true i was just lazy and didnt want to write a post. well anyways heres a big post for all the stories i read there are 4 - things have gotten worse since we last spoke by eric larocca, paradise rot by jenny hval, soft science by franny choi, and the country will bring us no peace by matthieu simard ! spoilers under the cut

ok first i read things have gotten worse since we last spoke because i wanted to go on a little kick of reading weird crazy people books at 3 am. and i did! chose this one because i saw it was very short so. anyways i thought this was.... okay. i think what made it a little worse off for me is that i already knew about the whole parasite thing from tiktok, so it wasnt that crazy to me when it actually happened. gonna be honest i do Not remember how the book ends at all so i dont even know if it was satisfying or not. was my experience worsened by it being 3am and me not having any thoughts at all? probably. would i do it again? yeah. i was a lil bit disappointed in the apple peeler part too... i thought it was going to be more relevant than it was unless there are some hidden symbolism meanings motifs going on that i didnt get... actually now that im thinking about it big long unbroken peels of apple + a big long probably worm-like parasite? next to each other thats kinda cool. other than that thought i literally just had now typing this out i didnt see anything else. omg speaking of seeing the tagline and also its mentioned in the book, "what did you do today to deserve your eyes?" crazy ass fuck sentence. i kinda love it actually and this is maybe where i would have like to see the apple peeler come in. she takes the apple peeler to her face and peels her eyes out of her head idk. also i feel like either on tiktok/goodreads they were supposed to be ballerinas? but that wasnt mentioned at ALL? i might be misremembering but that also could have been a cool little anecdote. anyways all this to say i thought the book was alright. i was entertained for like 2 hours. my favorite part of this experience was going on goodreads after and seeing a one star review of the book that just said "men stop writing trauma porn about lesbians." which is SO FUCKING FUNNY. because 1 im pretty sure the author is nonbinary, so hes not a man. 2. WHO IS GETTING OFF TO THIS. sorry i do absolutely not see any fetishization here, and also i think they write stories like this in like collections,, so there are probably people other than lesbians in them. idk i just thought that was funny. jesus christ this is getting long and i'm only 1/4 done. i pity anyone who opens this.

next i read paradise rot by jenny hval, which i had heard was dubbed the "bisexual piss book" intriguing and also a short little story i read at 3am. i did like this one, i thought it was fun and interesting and im a big fan of rot. just in general. vibes were on point. this book was moist. however, not as much piss as i expected. as in like quantities on page. they did talk about piss a lot and by they i mean the narrator. not as horror-esque as i thought it would be but i did like it! ohhh to simply rot away...... would not recommend this to normal people and i like that about it.

soft science by franny choi !!!! really liked this! im going to be honest i do not remember more than one poem from this collection. but i do remember liking them !!! sorry i think i need to train my brain to like and remember poetry more. and not just like the ones from tumblr webweaves even though all of them slay.

finally i read the country will bring us no peace by matthieu simard. i liked this, thought it was super interesting,,, ok i didnt think it was super interesting i thought it was good. god i am trying to program myself out of academic reviews of stupid dumbass books i was forced to read. this isn't like that at all. anyways i thought the whole grief aspect was done very well, the sadness at knowing literally nothing will work or come together to make your life go back to the way it was, go back to being whole again. and that deep deep sadness of not only losing their daughter but also the life they had before, the life they had with each other,,, losing all hope. it definitely got to me i did almost cry i think. i think i have more to say about this but i don't remember it. oh well. i thought the vibes of a hostile small mountain town were cool ! i think one of my favorite scenes was when the lavoie's kid falls from the antenna and they are just standing there doing nothing and simon has to go save him... idk the fact that they were shown as perfect parents for their perfect children and how not great they actually were <- this thought is dumb and obvious you get what im saying. one of my main issues is that the ending did feel rushed... and i was a bit confused,,,, the last line "a bird starts to sing" i couldn't tell if that was meant to be marie and simon hearing birds in the afterlife, in the woods by the bowling alley? or was that just the birds in the town finally starting to sing? because if its the latter i don't really get how simon and marie dying would bring the birds back.. the town is still dying and tragedies will still happen... idk its probably the birds in the afterlife but oh well. ok final thought i think but i think the title in french is interesting. it's called "ici, ailleurs" which means "here, elsewhere" or more like "here, something better. here, a new beginning." i like that, obviously it's what the book is about, and idk i think the translator did a good job at conveying the message. i think i would read this book again but in french, mostly to practice because my french is shit but i think since it only really stays in one setting, there's not a lot of characters, concepts are pretty easy to understand, i think it would be fun !!!! ok im done those are my reviews of all the books ive read in the past week or so thanks to anyone who reads this whole thing you are crazy. peace and love

#thoughts.txt #book review #things have gotten worse since we last spoke #paradise rot #soft science #the country will bring us no peace

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entiish · 1 year

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why are minor fcs not allowed in the rpc? no one out here that i've seen is rping nsfw with minor characters...

hi, it’s skye. hey anon, this is kinda a complex question so lemme just give you my theory on why people are hyper cautious, it's still gonna be looooong but you asked me and i go off lmao. first off, i gotta disagree with you respectfully anon bc there are people in the rpc (we don't claim them) who roleplay usfw content with actors who are underage at the time, some people don't even use resources and just use the platform for taboo shit. it's real, it happens and yeah, it's a thing, ive seen it and dealt with it. we rlly can't be ignorant of those people who still use tumblr for gross shit, but we can do everything we can to stop them when we find em. i’m so so glad you’ve never come across it or had to be exposed by it, im truly thankful, you are not ignorant for not being aware or exposed!! but it is a real ting and it’s bad when it comes across your dash or into your inbox or roleplay in any form, i cant be any more honest w you right now. i dealt with it twice in one roleplay, each time even though i was swift and ruthless and not having it and did my duty as admin, i was mentally taxed to a mASSIVE degree. and they were not the first nor only times.

so, onto ur question in general, i agree that kids are IRL so kids naturally exist in the RP worlds we create. that's a fact, you can't create a world without having children in some capacity. but that doesn't mean you need to WRITE and PLAY a child. and here is where i think this blanket mentality and rule has come from in the rpc and content creating community, speaking as someone who's almost 28 and has been in the rpc since i was about 14/15.

not all people have good intentions!!! not all people are decent and moralistic and have respect. and that's the plain and simple truth, i've seen too much shit on this platform in however many years ive been haunting it, and hella people who create resources (myself included) know/have seen the sad truth that some try or succeed in using underage resources to portray unsavoury things, i don't need to be explicit, but we know there is a nasty lil underbelly of people who still think it's "okay because it's not real". NO, i am absolutely wholeheartedly NOT implying thats you anon, nor anyone else who is curious on this topic. not at all 🙏🏾 —— however this means, to protect ourselves, lines must be drawn for what we personally deem appropriate for ourselves, the community, friends, fellow users, all of us, which has lead to this commonplace rule in the rpc.

now bear with me, because i have played characters who were underage (for me, aus, that is under eighteen), i had six characters in this world when i was around 17yo myself, also underage. one was seventeen and then one was a twelve year old, i played these characters within the moralistic and reasonable bounds, like you would write a character in a book. this world was based in the survival post/apoc world. and yah it was rather wholesome to form bonds with elder characters, to have them learn and develop... at that time, the seventeen year old was relative to my age and was very much an outlet for me — tbh i still use this muse, but she as aged as i have, and as for the younger one, there was no question that i was going to actually respect the age capacity as did everyone in this roleplay, it was an amazing and respectful community i still remember nearly a decade on. i had no ulterior motive, i just wanted a challenge outside of my normal bounds, but i also did not use resources because i didnt think it was needed. ig thats just a personal thing for me? who knows. at the time i was personally a minor, and i don’t speak for the underage rpers out there though i was one, but at the time it was not something that was a blanket rule anyway and not for the community who was underage themselves.

so we jump ahead now, as an adult, a decade later, a we've all learned a lot and become more aware and educated on HELLA stuff; whats appropriate and whats not, what we personally find ok and so forth. my next milstone is 30 (rip) and i have no desire to play the role of a child; even in a world that would expect such, even in a world that i create, even in genres where it is completely reasonable and normal to have characters under eighteen. the moralistic side must come out where we, as adults, have to consider... "why do we need to play a muse underage when we know, on the real, it's not necessary to a roleplay experience?" the answer is, we don't. adults don't need to create and pilot a child character, or a teenager, really. maybe on the sims, or in a video game, in your own time, but not really here. and to be honest if your muse is a late teen, then why not simply age them up that year or two? it changes very little in the grand scheme of things.

however, i stand on the grounds that you can have NPC children, many of my muses have had children of their own in game, they can certainly have casted faces if you are into family graphics, comprehensive masterlists and the like (i def am) but only use child actors who have consented to have their face shared, and continue to respect ethnic backgrounds my dawgs ofc. (i made that decision as an admin, with the support of my rpers after i asked their opinions & in a genre where many of our adult characters had children or even younger siblings of note.) and look i even believe in writing little interactions within your replies if your character is a parent or guardian as kids usually pipe up and react and i feel that can add authenticity when relevant, but they are always NPCS (non playable characters). there is nothing inherently wrong, generally speaking, with acknowledging the children in our characters lives and worlds; our characters could be teachers, parents, elder siblings, paediatricians, and thats 10/10 great. BUT, and this is where it all comes back to in the rpc community these days & reasonably so... non playable characters such as children do not need a plethora of resources. especially not when, even though we might revere and celebrate their performances and we want to hope everyone is good deep down, we cannot and do not risk putting out resources that can be abused. for me?? i will never stop honouring and revering and GASSING UP the child actors who eat/have eaten the screen, i will make gifsets of them, i will hype them, i have so many movies that inspired me as a child that i’ll honour in my own lil giffing way, but i wont turn them into what will be a barely-accessed resource that could be used for something unspeakably nasty. i wont put my name or soul anywhere near that hellfire zone i know exists 🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️ and i also dont feel the need to anyway

maaaaany creators choose not gif people underage, whether 18 or 21, and they have the right to do so as they are the creators, particularly fellow adult creators. many admins choose not to include people underage, and they have the right to as the creator and admin of a world. i, as a whole ass adult, do not feel comfortable doing that personally, i don't think any adult should be playing a character that is underage, mainly because i don't see a reason why is needed and also because i dont think there is a storyline to sustain me unless i was doing some sort of time jump; children shouldn't be exposed to adult things when you are on a public and open forum. that's my personal stance. it really comes down to this, it's your choice. if you sincerely want to write a character who is underage in some way and you sincerely want to respect and do this character accurate justice and challenge your writing chops like i did, it would be up to you to create the resources, or you to create and take on the burden of monitoring a world as admin where anyone can try and rationalise some whack shit and you have no warning or heads up, IT HAPPENS. A LOT OKAY. (*flashbacks fr* 🤢) OR you can find someone who feels comfortable writing like that and do a private 1x1 to explore the dynamic or storyline or world, tbh perhaps write without resources? bc that doesn't diminish anything as a creator. hell, go write one-shots, write stories, write novellas and let your creativeness grow!!! many authors write children's/underage/teen characters, that is not weird, in my own writing time i do. however it is weird to demand that others create or interact with what they feel is a personal boundary, it is weird to gaslight people into thinking they’re hyper-fixated on the bad things by having a personal boundary like this, i’ve seen that a whole lot for some reason. as it seems, most the rpc that i personally interact with are well into adulthood alongside me and share that personal and moral boundary that we don’t wanna dabble, as is our right. it also seems that the majority of people in the rpc have that same boundary. it’d also posit that the reason why it might seem a bit staunch and all that shit is because the damn boundary keeps getting pushed on. i srsly don't think any of us would be this extreme and strict on it if the personal preference and boundary hadn't been disrespected so many times, or if we hadn’t been exposed to the nasty side of tumblr where we see it happening.

also, if you weren't here on the platform, there was a seriously horrid period of months and months a few years back where legions of fuckheads were bombarding the tags of the rpc with every DAMNED trigger in the WORLD (all the nasty, all the trauma, it was visual and vivid and horrid, it was a full on attack weaponising our tagging system, i dont wish it on anyone). i went through it and we all came out very traumatised from that, personally that is one of the events that makes my boundary and rule so strict. as well as like... TOO much personal experience.

look tbhtbh i'm a bit tired and kinda stoned rn, so i hope this rambling makes some sense, i have a lot of thoughts and theories on this, i don't speak for ANYONE else so again this is just my pov and my theory as a rper, admin, rpc homie, gifmaker, whatever you want to call me. it all comes down to is respect and choice. and i respect that there are people out there - rpers, authors, creators of all kinds - who write from an underage POV (harry potter, fkn twilight, the secret garden, ASOIAF, little nightmares, the last of us, i could srsly go on and on), and i respect everyone, including myself, who’s choice it is to set that boundary and stick to it 🫶🏾 i hope maybe i shed some light on one perspective.

#long post tw #[ yah im talkin a lot tonight srry ]#drug use mention tw #child abuse mention tw #[ i have not said aNYTHING explicit!!!!! ]#high skye reply*#long post cw

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minilpark · 2 years

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Is this the third time requesting you in the same day? Yes. Do i regret it? No.

I have 2 requests

1- when they met. Im gonna give you total creative wisdom here because i honestly dont know what i want. If you want you can rewrite another meet cute you wrote for another character and kinda modify it to coyote.

2- in this story, coyote was raised by his grandparents and had a sister 3 years older than him. You met 10 years ago, became a couple 7 years ago and finally got married 5 years ago. neither of you wanted an actual wedding so the “wedding” was something private only the 2 of you, you hadnt met his grandparents because they lived across the vountfy from the base both of you worked at. Finally got a chance to fly and go meet them.

(Also his sister {Lets call her Salma} and you already met and her as the proud sister she is, tried everything in her power to embarrase javy by showing you baby pictures of him and stuff)

Thank you for helping me on my JAVY COYOTE MACHADO WORLD DOMINATION!!!

hey, im glad you trust me enough with your coyote requests! i'm gonna work on the first one, taking it as a bit of civilian!reader stance this time, but for the second one, imma direct you to this post for a bit of my hcs about the family dynamics you have with his family instead! i think you should give that second request to someone who is more experienced in writing an actual story than me lmao-

javy was finally able to catch some r&r for a while so he decided to visit home

its been a long while since he's seen his family so he figured it was time for a visit

so he left the base in virginia and headed home

home for him was high point, nc

a somewhat big town with a good amount of things to do

once he was all settled again he decided to take his dog, jagger, to the local park to get some quality time with his boy

little did he know he'd meet you at the park that day as well

you were laying on a picnic blanket under one of the trees to hide from the sun while reading a book recommended to you by a friend

half way through the chapter, you felt something hit your leg

and when you sat up to look down at the object, you realised it was a foam football and a cute lil pit was running towards you for it

so you sat the book down while the pup ran/basically fell into your lap trying to get the ball

and were promptly attacked with kisses from this random dog

until you heard a man calling out a name, which you presumed to be the pit's, while running up to your blanket

"oh my god i am so sorry about jagger-"

you just take a second to scratch behind the cute pup's ear and shake your head

"aw don't worry about it, he's such a cute lil guy anyways-"

after giving him a bit of love you stood up, dusted yourself off and held out a hand

"my name's y/n. what's yours, stranger?"

he just smiles and firmly shakes your hand back

"i'm javy, it's nice to meet you"

you nod your head meaning likewise and offer the man to sit with you to which he gratefully accepts

i mean how could he not, a person who got along with his dog immediately, and was as attractive as you were? he had to know more

and so that led to you both getting to know each other, basically playing a game of 20(+) questions

you learned he was here to visit his family and that he was a naval aviator which seemed really cool from all the dumb stories he told you (all of course he was allowed to share), you also learned he liked jazz and rnb, he appreciated movies a bit more than books, and his favourite number was 7 among other things you talked about

he learned that you moved to the area not long after he left for the navy, you adored music, and that you had a passion for (insert your hobbies here)

long story short, you two talked until the sun started to set

and that's when you decided you'd like to see more of javy, so you gave him your number, gave his dog a few ear scratches before packing your stuff away in your car to drive home

he didn't leave that long after

and he didn't wait to text you that long either

which led to yall hanging out frequently over the course of his visit home

it really was a relationship in the making-

#top gun maverick #topgun #topgun maverick imagines #javy coyote machado #topgun asks #topgun maverick asks #topgun hc requests #topgun maverick hc requests #ask answered

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autistic-katara · 8 months

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who’s the little guy you relate to the most? whats their fav genre of show ?(does that makes sense?) also whats their eyes color? do they have any fav movies?

also this isn’t technically a question but i love the concept of your story dude its so interesting like having a cool little found family but theyre all severely fucked up ppl and having them just trying to help each other cope even though they themselves have bad coping mechanisms so they sort of end up making each other worse with out realizing but theyre also sometimes good at helping each other cope (at least thats what i assume based on the limited knowledge i have) its just sooo !!!! and im super excited to see whats in store!!! (sorry for the rant lmao i hope this sort of makes sense)

also super off topic i had this cool ass dream about a show that doesn’t exist and im so sad its not real (ignore this part if you want)

heyyyyyy srry this took me so long to answer i was super busy today and didn’t have time to sit down and think until now heh

anyways i’d say i relate to Liam the most, his family dynamics being based off both mine and my best friend’s (realising now i haven’t explained that yet but i will if asked) and also me giving him my main unhealthy coping mechanism lmao. (tho i gave that to like half the characters but idk his is a bit more personal to me in a way) anyways yeah, he likes idk live action stuff with a plot that’s got at least a hint of queer subtext/text floating around it to keep it interesting if that makes any sense (eg. stranger things, dghda, probably supernatural tho i haven’t watched any that so i have absolutely no idea), his eyes r blue (everyone else’s being brown), and uhh i don’t watch enough movies to give him a fav so 😭

also genuinely thank u so fucking much for saying that u have no idea how much it means to me to hear that my dumb lil characters/story sounds cool (and yeah u got the right idea of what’s going on in it lmao) and yeah just thank u sm this is srsly making me actually wanna write it (tho not sure exactly what i’d do with it tbh like should i just post the chapters on ao3, or should i like make a book, or should i say “fuck it. let’s go all out” and make a comic on webtoon or smthn or yk cause all of those ideas have major pros n cons n yeah that’s my main issue) and yeah idk :)

also i feel u :,c

#again srry my reply took so long TwT #if u have anything else u wanna ask feel free to #ocs #my ocs #liam mckinney #writing #writblr #asks

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adorerdraco · 4 years

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It’s Only Quidditch ✧ Draco x Slytherin!Reader

Request: can i please request you and draco being in slytherin and dating for a while and you two are on the quidditch team with him so maybe you two are in a match together but you get hurt and he gets worried and has to win the game and visits you after and maybe even wrecks the person who hurt you hehe just fluff and angst

AU AROUND 6TH YEAR NO VOLDY

Warnings: angry!draco, vengeful!draco, VIOLENCE, kinda graphic details like blood and injuries, lil bit of angst

Words: 3.9K (love making these long for no reason)

A/N: ANGRY DRACO IS SO HOT IM SORRY WOW BUT I HOPE THIS IS GOOOOD PLEASE ENJOY MY MADE UP CHARACTER AND MY SUPER LONG QUIDDITCH GAME THAT CONFUSED ME AFTER A WHILE OF TRYING TO WRITE LMAO and i made gif :)

November had begun and with it came the new season of quidditch at Hogwarts along with very poor weather and over-bundling nerves. Tensions had always gotten high around this time of the year amongst the teams and all animosity between the house’s respective players was on the forefront as the competition was building. It was like clockwork every year; captain’s starting strenuous training schedules, begging Snape to help book the stadium even if it was already occupied, spying on other teams to figure out their strengths and weaknesses. Not to mention the arguments that would happen regularly in between the first couple of games when you and your teammates would be accused of cheating or using dangerous and illegal moves. Which did happen to be true most of the time.

It was safe to say that it was the most eventful time of the year, and as suffocating as it sometimes got - you looked forward to it every time the new term started. It was in quidditch that you found yourself feeling the freest in, zipping around the stadium in a flash of green with the wind blowing through your hair and crisp autumn air biting at your cheeks. But most notably, it was in quidditch that you met Draco Malfoy and had quickly evolved from teammates to friends, to him now being your boyfriend.

You made Slytherin’s team your second year as a Chaser, a shiny new broom being given to you on the first day of scheduled training when Lucius Malfoy had made a generous donation that came along with a new platinum blond seeker. With the two of you being the latest additions to the teams, your captain, Marcus Flint, had decided to leave the dirty work for the two of you to do in the downtime every one else was able to enjoy. Marcus never changed that as the years went on.

So you and Draco would be sent off to other teams’ practices nearly every other day or week, depending on how secure Flint was feeling, both of you huddling closely together for sometimes hours behind the thick wooden benches as you watched and studied tactics with conversations in between. You would joke around a lot and call him your partner in crime which he would always roll his eyes to and make a snide and playful comment about even if he secretly loved hearing it. And the two of you stayed partners in crime for a while, neither of you ever making any move towards the other besides lingering touches and longing looks, and very rarely, a shy compliment.

It wasn’t until last year when you were hiding behind the bleachers, bored out of your mind watching Ravenclaw have a flawless run through around the stadium when you were graced with the dumbest idea.

“They’re playing good today,” you drawled out, “too good that it’s boring.”

“You reckon they studied so hard and found the key to quidditch?” He snickered as he played around with a pebble on the ground with his wand.

“We should help them out,” you suggested as Draco turned to raise a puzzled eyebrow at you. “Prepare them for the unexpected, nothing too crazy.”

You took out your wand from your pocket and pointed it towards one of their Beaters that was sitting idly by on their broom, a faint “confundus” leaving your lips that caused the broom to jerk swiftly to the side and nearly topple over its rider.

“You’re a genius,” Draco laughed quietly, repositioning himself so that he was right beside you with his wand directed out into the field. He spotted one of the bludgers flying towards the same Beater and instead of colliding with the bat, he used a charm to direct it into the back of their broom and then doubled it back around to try and hit one of the passing by Chaser’s that moved at the very last minute.

You were a giggling mess, gripping tightly onto Draco’s arm as you watched everyone begin to look around wildly for the wild bludger with panicked expressions. What either of you didn’t realize in the middle of your joyed hysterics and Draco’s smugness for causing the angelic sounds, was that the bludger was flying idly still in front of the bleacher’s as his wand was still trained on it without moving it around anymore, his focus completely gone and concentrated on you.

It wasn’t until you heard someone yell out a, “Is that Malfoy and Y/L/N back there again?!” That made you get up with a sudden jolt, grabbing onto your accomplice’s hand as you ran towards the set of stairs that descended out of the stands. All you heard was distant angry insults and threats quickly fading out of ear-shot while you ran, laughing uncontrollably alongside Draco with his hand still tightly gripped in yours.

When you finally reached the entrance of the empty courtyard of the castle with flustered cheeks and wheezing chuckles, you looked down at your joined hands at the same time he did and after a few seconds of realization and lingering adrenaline, you quickly moved into each other with a yearning kiss that changed everything from that day forward.

Draco stood beside you while you sat on a bench outside the locker room, your head resting lazily on the side of his leg while his fingers carded soothingly through your hair. Marcus was pacing in front of you, using his broom as a walking and pointing stick whenever he wanted to add any calculated words to his very hostile pep-talks that left everyone feeling more irritated and stressed.

Today was the last game of the season and the most important, it was the game that ended the season with a shimmering Inter-House Quidditch Cup and it just so happened to be against Gryffindor, making the stakes much higher than they already were. The matches against Gryffindor were by far, the most dangerous as they weren't afraid to play roughly either if push came to shove. The determination to beat each other and to win was critical on both sides and the day always ended with some sort of injuries.

“I don’t care how dirty we have to play today,” Flint fumed to the team, “I don’t care how many fouls we get, as long as we win.”

“Relax, Flint,” you sighed deeply. “We have the best players on our team and we’ve been working our arses off all season, we’ll be fine.”

“Still, I want to see blood out there,” he muttered back, walking towards the entrance of the field as Madam Hooch started calling your team out to start.

You stood up with a huff, Draco frowning when he noticed how tense you looked when your eyes worriedly met his.

“All right, love?”

“I'm just nervous,” you shrug, “I don’t want to mess up.”

The silver-haired boy moved to stand in front of you, placing two strong hands on either side of your arms to stand you in place so that he would be the only thing your wandering eyes were able to focus on.

“You are the best Chaser that Slytherin has ever had, no, that Hogwarts has ever had and I know for a fact you’re going to do amazing out there,” he cups your face with care, brushing a few stray hairs out of your face as he spoke. “You’ve got this.”

He pressed an encouraging kiss onto your forehead and then your lips, smiling at you supportively before taking your hand and hurriedly walking the two of you out into the field where the match was about to start.

Almost the whole school had shown up in an overcrowded sea of red and gold for Gryffindor. There were red sparks and small fireworks of lions that were charmed to roar when the animal would open its mouth. On one end of the stands, however, was the entire student body of Slytherin that was throwing green and silver ribbons and sparklers from their wands, yelling loudly in support as if their life depended on it. Over the rails, they had thrown down a large poster of a snake that moved around sleekly over large green words that read, “SLYTHERIN FOR THE WIN.”

Rain was lightly drizzling from the grayed dense clouds above, a sharp chill in the air from an approaching winter that always seemed to give the worst weather during the last couple of games of the year. You didn’t mind it since the cold had always felt nice against your sweaty skin during the game and it served like a small revitalizing shock that gave you a surge of energy to push forward with.

Madam Hooch quickly went over the rules, set free the bludgers, and the snitch, forced the two captains, Wood and Flint, to shake hands and by the time she had counted down from three to one - brooms were soared into the sky with such speed it looked like a tornado had formed as she threw the quaffle up into the air.

A roar of cheers erupted from beside you as you got ahold of the quaffle, dashing past your House while you headed straight towards the Gryffindor’s goal post and managed to make the first shot in within the first five minutes of the game putting you at 10-0. You spotted Draco flying around above, smiling down brightly at you with triumph that only fueled your confidence as you darted forward to catch the ball again. You were, just as Draco had said, the best Chaser on the team and in all of the school. You were fast, agile, and smart when it came down to it and you were the reason why your team had easily wracked up 40 points with thirty minutes down in the match. Marcus was always trailing behind you with focus, shoving anyone who tried to get to you or pulling them back by their robes that landed Slytherin a couple of fouls throughout.

You didn’t like to play dirty, but when Katie Bell had rammed into your side either accidentally or on purpose, it knocked the quaffle out of your hands and into one of their other Chaser’s, Rowan Rees, a muscular and tall seventh-year boy that had made the team that same year. With Katie still closely trying to cut you off, you veered sharply into her with your shoulder before breaking away from her and heading towards your goal post where they were trying to shoot.

“ILLEGAL PUSHING FROM Y/L/N, FOUL AGAINST SLYTHERIN!”

You rolled your eyes at the announcer, completely ignoring the boo’s that had filled the air as you whizzed past the other houses even though it was you who got hit first. Just as Rees had raised his arm to score, you flew over him, swooping your arm underneath your broom until you felt the quaffle back in your palm and ripped it from his grasp. The match was becoming more intense by the second, Gryffindor was promptly catching up in points because of the penalties they were awarded from the illegal moves your team was making and it left you feeling more pressured that it was nearly a tie now, Flint reminded you of that every chance he zoomed past you.

Unbeknownst to you, Draco was watching you cautiously from across the field most of the game when he noticed how close everyone was trying to get to you. You didn’t see the way you were almost tugged back multiple times or were missed by inches when someone was about to push you. Or how the Beaters were deliberately directing the bludgers in your direction. You also didn’t see how irked you had made Rees with your constant scoring and with the sporadic few times you had cut him off or almost bumped into him - but your boyfriend did, and he was much more focused on your safety now than the Golden Snitch he or Potter hasn’t spotted yet. Instead of searching for it, he was purposefully maneuvering himself around in front of the other Chasers to throw them off their focal point towards you so that you would have a clearer path to fly through.

He watched as you pulled your broom upwards to try and twist away from the area but Rees had reached out and pulled at your ankle, sending you out of your seat as the quaffle fell while you tried to rebalance yourself. That was all the encouragement the blond needed when he hurtled down into the mess, kicking at the back of Rees’ broom and sending him quickly spinning on a dive before he could try and move any further.

“FOUL AGAINST REES AND MALFOY FOR KICKING AND TUGGING!”

“MALFOY!” Flint roared as he flew past, “Potter’s spotted the snitch! This isn’t your place, get out of here, NOW!”

And when he looked up, sure enough, Harry was going around desperately with an arm outstretched towards the small glint of gold that was moving too fast.

“Go, I’m fine!” You shouted out to him when you flew back up with the ball back in your arms.

It was like slow motion when he forced himself to leave your surroundings, everything around him was moving fast and intensely with everyone screaming wildly that he couldn’t think straight. In a daze, he haphazardly sped towards Harry but noticed the panicked look on the seeker’s face when he had lost sight of it again which directed his attention right back to you. You were right in front of the Gryffindor goal post, arm stretched over your head and releasing the quaffle with a harsh throw.

“Y/L/N MAKES THE GOAL, TEAMS ARE AT A TIE-”

It wasn’t until the very last minute that everyone, including you, had realized the flash of red that came hurtling into your side at full speed, Rees colliding so loudly with you that it echoed around the stadium in a powerful clang and crack.

Draco watched in horror as you were thrown off your broom, your now unconscious body falling like a rag doll with a speed that sent his stress levels into overdrive. He had never pushed down on his broom so fast, immediately abandoning his spot to bolt towards you even as Marcus was screaming at him to not go.

A few feet above the ground and before you met it, he managed to loop his arm around your waist and heave you onto the front of his broom with a slight struggle as it was now raining hard and clouding his vision. He saw Madam Pomfrey and Mcgonagall rushing into the field, hands holding tightly onto their hats as they worriedly rushed towards the area where your broom had fallen and where Draco was hovering over with you.

“TEAMS ARE TAKING A 10 MINUTE TIME OUT!”

Marcus had flown down towards him, face twisted in fury and annoyance as he approached.

“Is there a reason you’re not being a seeker, today?” He spits, “because I’ve been seeing you do everything but your job.”

“My bloody girlfriend just got knocked out!” Draco seethed at him. “I’m not going back into the game, I’m going with her to the hospital wing.”

“Like hell you are,” Flint scowled, “if you leave, you'll forfeit us the game. If you stay and let Potter catch that Snitch so it’ll be over quicker, I will personally make sure that this is your last year on the team. You’re going to win this for us.”

“Mr. Malfoy!” McGonagall called up to him, waving her arms hastily. “She needs to go to the infirmary, immediately!”

The two Slytherins were staring each other down aggressively as Draco contemplated the threat he was just given. There was nothing more he wanted to do than to throw a hex at Flint and leave with you, but he just swallowed thickly and nodded at him before descending towards the ground and letting you off carefully into the hands of Madam Pomfrey. A surge of fear ran through his body when he finally saw you clearly; a harsh red mark was making its way up to your neck, the corner of your bottom lip had split and doubled in size, there was a small scratch on your cheekbone. It made him feel queasy, but he tore his eyes away from you and hopped back onto his broom while glaring angrily at Marcus and the distant group of huddled Gryffindor’s.

He was blinded in rage when the match resumed and even more enraged when Flint had cheered loudly when the announcer granted Slytherin a penalty for the injury Rees gave you, allowing them basically to get a free score in against Gryffindor. Draco let his eyes wander around for the snitch for the first time that day and he could hear his heart thundering in his eardrums in distress as the rain continued to make his search worse. All he wanted was to get out of the game to check up on you, and then he'd come back to the stadium to throw his fists into Rees’ face with maybe a few hits in on Marcus.

Just as he was losing hope, he saw a flash of gold whiz past him with a loud buzzing that shocked him into alertness. He didn’t care that catching the snitch would win the game, or the cup, or give him all the glory, no - this was his ticket out. He dived towards it with his arm outstretched, hand thrashing around in the wind as he tried to eagerly catch it. In seconds, Harry was right beside him, bumping him with his shoulder to try and throw him off the path but Draco only pushed back harder. There was a flurry of shouting as everyone watched, the announcer was yelling into the mic about the seekers going head-to-head, bludgers were flying past him.

It was pure chaos and urgency, Draco could feel the fluttering of its wings beneath his palm and when Harry pushed into him one more time, he felt the coldness of the Snitch get trapped into his enclosed hand, the vibration of its wings sending a current of relief up his arm that spread throughout his whole body as he soared up into the sky while brandishing it to the schools’ painfully watchful eyes.

“MALFOY HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH, WINNING SLYTHERIN THIS YEAR’S INTER-HOUSE QUIDDITCH CUP!”

Draco hurriedly made his way down to the field where the rest of his house was pooling into, celebrating proudly and calling out for him to praise, but when he landed on the ground and was met with half of the Gryffindor team including Rowan Rees - all his wrath came flooding back into him.

Angelina, another Gryffindor Chaser, had nudged Rowan with her shoulder, pointing towards the Slytherin Prince that was stalking towards them.

“Malfoy,” Rees started bitterly, “sorry about the girlfriend, I was only trying to knock the quaffle out her hands.”

“After she had already thrown it?” He glowered, walking closer up to the boy that was beginning to straighten himself out and flex. “Looked a little personal seeing how she was dragging you through the dust the whole game.”

“Accidents happen, mate,” Rees shrugged, “it’s only quidditch, you won didn’t you? Maybe you should be thanking me for giving you that extra push to win the game.”

A clear line had been crossed and everyone who was listening knew it. But before Rowan could say anything to try and drag himself out of the hole he had just dug himself into, he was being tackled into the ground with Draco above him throwing punches wherever he could land them. There was loud hooting and laughing coming from the Slytherins that gathered around the fight, cheering loudly for their House superior.

Rees was thrashing around on the ground, trying frantically to throw off the extremely infuriated boy that was repeatedly pounding into his face with bloodied and bruised fists. Oliver Wood ran up to the sudden brawl, Fred and George following closely behind him as they all started trying to rip the fighting boy’s apart from each other. Oliver had gotten Draco off briefly, allowing Rees to try and get a hit in but it was dodged at the last second as the blond quickly leaped up to his feet. The fight immediately ended when a muddy shoe had collided with Rowan’s jaw and Draco stepped back satisfied with the damage he had done, roughly shrugging off the grip Oliver still had on his arm.

“It’s only quidditch, right?” He spat venomously from above the Gryffindor who was holding his now battered face in pain. “That’ll teach you from putting your hands on a woman too.”

“Mr. Malfoy!” Madam Hooch bellowed as she broke through the crowd in a frenzy. “50 points from Slytherin, go wait outside Professor Snape’s office for further punishment, go right now!”

Draco did go, and instantly, but he didn’t go down to the dungeons to hear about the lengthy detention that he knew he was going to get and the scolding for being reckless and stupid. His feet carried his sore body up the many stairs that led to the hospital wing, his pace picking up swiftly when he saw the large double doors of the infirmary ajar and he was able to hear a faint and familiar voice speaking indistinctly.

He threw open the doors, walking straight in as if he owned the place and ignored Pomfrey’s requests for him to leave as he made a beeline towards your hunched figure that was facing away from him.

“I need to see her,” he said to the nurse quickly when she stopped in front of him. “I’ll leave soon, please.”

At the sound of his voice, you hastily turned around in your spot to face him, a yelp escaping your lips for moving too quickly through your injuries. Pomfrey stepped out of the way with a sigh allowing Draco to jog over to you.

“I’m going to kill him,” he scowled when he reached you. You were wearing a sling, a deep purple and yellowed bruise quickly set itself over the side of your arm and the same cuts he saw from earlier were still scattered over your features. His fingers ghosted over your skin and he let out a deep shaky exhale of anxiousness before moving his thumb up to graze your cheek tenderly.

“What happened to you?” You asked quietly in shock when you noticed his mud-splattered clothes and tattered fists.

“Long story,” he drawled. “Don’t worry about me, are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” you muttered with a slight shrug that made you whimper lightly. “Did we win?”

He nodded quietly, his eyes still scanning sadly over your face with a frown. “I swear, I’m going to kill him.”

“Only if I can help,” you sniggered faintly, trying to make light of the situation and succeeding in doing so when you saw he had cracked a small smile. With his hand still on your cheek, he bent down to press a firm kiss on the top of your hair and then warmly on the side of your mouth that wasn’t bleeding.

“I’ll just let you finish him off then,” he mulled amusingly when he pulled away.

“Finish him off?”

The doors of the hospital wing were thrown open again, a sea of red flowing inside as they carried in a pummeled Rowan with a busted lip, bloodied nose, black eye, and deeply bruised jaw. You looked briskly between Rees and Draco, both of them staring daggers at each other and it rapidly clicked in your mind why your boyfriend had looked like he just walked through a battlefield in your absence.

“Oh.”

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teklarn · 3 years

Text

𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾

character(s): katsuki bakugou x gn!reader

a/n: this is just a projection of how i fell honestly ngl loll. i’ve been writing since i was 4 and i just cannot seem to capture evil inside of good or good inside of evil but this is the closest i got to it. honestly this is kinda just a vent post in a way im in a bad mood rn writing is literally the only healthy coping mechanism i have lmfao

reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

summary: y/n is beginning to lose themselves to evil, and bakugou is trying to save them and bring them back

genre: angst

warnings: cursing (more than usual at least), reader is a villain, some controversial topics because the reader is a villain, reader is an author and quirkless, bullying, bad childhood etc, neglect, reader is an antihero, reader also goes a lil insane, not proofread

word count: 2,737

requests are open! i would like to expand who i’m writing for, so please request any character listed under this masterlist

- - -

you were a humble writer who came from a household that wasn’t the most ideal, but still not bad enough to be...well, bad. in other words, one could call your tragic backstory morally grey.

there comes a point in everyone’s life where they contemplate whether or not they are good or evil. children were selfish, taking and thinking only of themselves, but still feeling more empathy for anyone. (if they were raised right, that is.) teens wanted only to be held—to be understood, more than anything. adults simply wanted to live their lives, but everyday life developed into something harmful for the world.

of course, you still had love for your family. they’re family, right? but all they did was pick and point at the bad, but still took care of you. did the bare necessities

writing was the only way you could cope. through some kind of art, you found you had found yourself in between words, in the paper pages of books, relating and understanding the bad guy.

what was so bad about villains, anyway? both heroes and villains. they both thrived off of violence, lived and breathed it. how different could they be?

your fingers lingered on the keys of your laptop, searching for the right letters to press to create the right words to form the perfect ending to your manuscript. you changed to another pen name after you and bakugou had a falling out. changed your whole identity, but the world would know you as this. know you as, not what you wanted to be, but who you really were.

cruel. honest. alive.

leaving your old life had been your first breath of fresh air in forever. you breathed a new life. a new hope, for yourself. whoever said thinking that you needed to be a little bad was a selfish thing to do? no, whoever said that letting yourself be bad was a bad thing?

you had lived the majority of your life repressing your emotions. the weight on your chest growing heavier each day. even burdens shared were taken away by the other person by a simple agreement, and suddenly it was about them again.

narcissist. selfish. evil. twisted.

the names your friends called you when you stopped being who they wanted you to be no longer stung. you agreed. strongly.

you were less of a villain and more of an antihero. you’d never lay a finger on a innocent child, for they haven’t been molded into shape and intoxicated by hero society yet. however the rest of civilization was at your feet, groveling for forgiveness.

trying to be a hero had only worsened your ‘condition’. yes, some even deemed you insane. but you’d never thought clearer.

kirishima banged against the glass wall, hand hardened to its full extent. “let us go, y/n.”

you twirled around. “mm?”

bakugou touched your shoulder. “this isn’t right, y/n. you know it isn’t.”

you swallowed, unblinking at his sincere tone. “and since when have you been so empathetic to society? you, of all people.” you let out a joyless laugh. he did not cringe at your villainous antics, nor did his face scrunch up in an angry grimace. you could see in those pathetic eyes...he wanted to help you.

dear dynamight wanted nothing more than you help you.

“don’t even try.”

They would wonder. Those who would read your book. Those who you would rule over. They would wonder how you, a quirkless nobody, had landed themselves in the hero course, had slowly rose their way to the top and made a golden world bleed red.

You were a fresh start for everyone. A society managed by heroes would always be managed by an unfair system. Resentment grew in the hearts of those born with an unfortunate super power, yet heroes called society equal.

Fighting for the rights of everyone, yet the villains always end up behind bars.

“I have to, y/n.”

“You have to try now? Because i’m oh so bad? Please bakugou, don’t force it.”

You’d finally been heard. After all this time, words you feared you would be judged for saying were coming out.

‘Talk to me, you can tell me anything,’ is what people tell you to make you feel comfortable in a relationship. However, can you really trust that?

“Don’t be dumb, blondie. This! Forcing all this kindness.”

The rest of your former classmates banged on the glass of their containment cells, tugging at the nullifying quirk collars strapped to their necks.

Your eyes went cold. Dead. “you’ve never been kind, bakugou. Don’t pretend to be a hero now. Don’t forget that you’re just as much a villain as i. It’s you who followed all might’s toxic standards. You’d rather push other people down than admit your own weaknesses. You would rather stand by and have a panic attack about your fragile ego while others are begging to be heard. All you’ve ever been is praised. Have you forgotten your cruelty towards me?”

No. of course bakugou remembered. How he’d taunted and teased you to no end. He’d found joy in how you’d trembled before him, quaking with your books clutched to your chest, shivering under his gaze.

If deku didn’t take his punches anymore, someone had to. But eventually, you two developed into something bittersweet.

Stolen moments, a few kisses here and there. Nothing hurt too much. Hurting was part of the passion.

Bakugou made sure you never felt numb. He made sure to provide you with an interesting relationship, filled with color and shades of red and romance and love. His affection was poison, and you had drank every last drop. You were drunk on all the things he made you feel.

For the one you love, you would die. Anyone would. Anyone intoxicated enough would leap off a cliff at the mere illusion of their lover falling down.

“You’re a joke,” you bit.

“I still see something in you.” he grabbed your arm.

“In me?”

“Yes. i see hope. A future, with me.”

“There is no future for heroes like you, bakugou.”

“Heroes like me?”

“Heroes like you will fail, because a quirkless nobody like me will make sure you do.” it’d taken you forever to worm your way through the ins and outs of this nauseating justice system. For the past three years, you’d nodded politely at pros, clapping your hands like a giddy fan, fawning over your least favorite heroes.

You’d brought everyone up and succeeded in bringing them down. When you know someone so well, you know exactly what to say to make them believe one thing.

You wanted to tear hero society in two. Rip it apart and leave the pieces scattered on the road to be run over, stepped upon.

Giving them a taste of what it’s like to be below would be fun.

“i am a villain,” you stated blandly. “there is nothing you can do to change that except try and stop me. you’re in luck. as all stories go, just because you’re a hero, you’ll win. it’s inevitable, is it not?”

bakugou paused, swallowing. “y/n, please let them go.”

you sighed happily. “i’m letting myself go. i can’t stand keeping everything in anymore, but none of you seemed to care. again, they’re more important.” you spread your arms out, gesturing to the heroes locked in their cells like kenneled dogs. “you’d rather stand here, pathetic, and beg me to let them go? when they’re in the slightest bit of trouble, you’d help them. but me? i’m knee deep in pain and-”

“enough with the self-pity, you selfish brat,” kirishima spat at you behind the glass.

“i’m not pitying anyone. maybe you all, a little bit. it doesn’t matter what you think of me, because those thoughts will not matter once the breath is torn from your lungs.” you stabbed a finger at his chest. “leave me alone, bakugou. you are cruel. you are selfish. and i hate you.”

people have only ever cared for themselves. society is broken in such a way where it is impossible to glue it back together. it isn’t that the pieces of the earth are too small to glue back together. there are fragments missing.

people exiled their second chances and then had the audacity to question why the world failed them.

your fingers smashed on the keyboard, the world running blood red around you.

backspace.

hit the keys.

backspace.

it wasn’t coming out right.

no words could explain your anger. no fixation of letters could bring you the satisfaction of expressing your feelings in a way that made everyone guilty, everyone angry.

it wasn’t self pity you wallowing in. you were drowning in rightful anger. you tore at your scalp.

it was insanity, but you were not crazy. your mind was still a cage, and you wanted to come out. it was painful. more emotionally than physically.

you wanted to smash your head to the ground, drive a knife through the wall and scream until your lungs bled and your throat burned.

you were lonely, misunderstood, and tearing yourself apart. still, your emotions remained invalidated. not because there was nobody around.

everyone was still here, right? they could see you, they could watch you in your pain.

the agonizing, gut-wrenching ache in your heart. no expression, no amount of writing an rewriting, nothing would be good enough.

perhaps the best way to understand you would be to say nothing. instead, just holding you would be enough.

telling you ‘it’s okay’ did nothing. it was not okay.

you just wanted someone to tell you they were here for you and be serious about it.

“let them go, y/n! please! this is selfish. you know it is. we can help.”

“no, bakugou. i waited years. years and years and years for someone to try and communicate with me. heroes make villains, did you know that?”

bakugou pulled you into his chest. “y/n.” he rubbed a hand down your back. “please, y/n. gosh, i’m so sorry. i’m sorry, y/n.”

you shook in his grasp, the tears nearly escaping. for a moment, you considered falling into his arms. apologizing for everything you’ve done. but the hard work would go to waste. everyone already hated you. perhaps bakugou would be the only one who wouldn’t request your immediate execution.

“i’m sorry,” he breathed, chest caving in as he said the words. “i didn’t mean it, calling you selfish. it’s okay. come back to us, now. come back to me, please.” bakugou never begged for anyone. “stay,” he gasped out. “stay. for me, please?”

you lips quivered. “why would i stay for you?”

he shuddered as you reluctantly hugged him back, holding him close. tugging him closer, as if you two could never get close enough. “i don’t know, y/n. i don’t have an answer. not one that will satisfy you.”

you sobbed into his shoulder angrily. you drowned in his strong arms.

“y/n, i want you to stay because i love you so, so much. and i want to be patient with you, and i want to love you when you’re unlovable and when you’re frustrating and when you’re sad. i want to love you when you’re grumpy on monday mornings and when you’re angry with me. when you say you hate me, i will smile to widely because you feel something towards me.”

“i...”

as if bakugou knew what you were going to say, he shushed you softly. “you don’t have to be sorry.”

“tell me more, katsuki.”

you felt him smile against your neck. “i want to love you when you’re insecure. i want to help you love every part of yourself.”

“tell me again, in a different way.”

“i adore you. you’re funny. you’re not annoying, you’re the best person to be with whether you’re happy or sad. i want you to stay so fucking badly so i can be in love with you every single fucking day, y/n. it’ll be okay. maybe not right now, but shit, i will do everything to make it that way.”

you sobbed loudly, sniffling and falling to your knees. your emotions were everywhere. you were angry, hurt, hated, and you were healing. slowly. so, so slowly, but you were being patched up with a few weak words. for the first time in what felt like forever, you felt happy.

people who saw tears endlessly rolling down your cheeks might have said otherwise, but you allowed yourself to lean on bakugou. you allowed yourself to trust him in that moment.

“can you be with me? at least for now?” bakugou rubbed your shoulder, kissing your forehead.

“maybe for now doesn’t sound so bad, bakugou.” you smiled softly, cheeks drenched and stained with tears.

“make it katsuki?”

“can i call you suki?”

“i’ll be your suki until you get tired of me, y/n.”

you blinked, hearing a familiar explosion rattle your shutters. you abandoned your writing station and peeked outside your window to see your former classmates fighting a villain under your influence.

you watched for a bit, eyes glued to dynamight. he’s gotten better. at this rate, perhaps the heroes would take the city back soon.

it was inevitable you would be thrown in jail soon after that, but you were enjoying the chaos right now.

spinning on a heel, you turned and swung your jacket over your shoulders and headed outside.

“i will always be a villain, katsuki. nothing will change that. in the unlikely event i do change, the people would never accept me again.”

bakugou sat down on the bed. the two of you had left the rest of your classmates. “i’ll accept you. i’ll do everything to make everyone else accept who you are-”

you shook your head, letting out a breathy chuckle that held no humor. “no, bakugou. i know these people. you know these people. nobody just accepts a villain. nobody gets used to them hanging around like nothing happened. nobody forgives that easily. no one ever has.”

“you did.”

you scoffed, scurrying off to the restroom to make yourself the least bit presentable. your eyes were puffy from crying, slightly bloodshot. “as you can see, bakugou, i didn’t.”

“you did. that’s what makes you a good person.” he started rambling like an eager fanboy. “all those years of pain, everything. you forgave them and didn’t do anything about their nasty antics.”

“i don’t know if you’ve noticed, but i’m not the best person, despite what you say.”

“you said it yourself, once. forgiveness isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice, right? you don’t always feel good after forgiving someone, you don’t feel better and you don’t let everything go, but it’s the choice of not holding a grudge because you’re deciding to be the bigger person.”

“i was always the bigger person, bakugou. i decided i shouldn’t be around such little people.”

“you’re a good person, y/n. you’re not bad.”

“i know i’m not bad, katsuki. i know that. but i’m not good, either. i just trust that my views are right, even if they’re not for everyone.”

“but-”

“i will always be considered a villain, and you a hero. nothing will change that.”

you stepped out, flicking your wrists to activate the gadgets you’d made yourself. before you stood katsuki, todoroki, and midoriya. two of those familiar faces were alight with boiling rage.

the third had a smirk.

todoroki and midoriya propelled themselves forwards, attacking the villain behind you.

you readied yourself for another battle with dynamight. “we have to stop meeting like this, suki.”

he grinned. “how can i stop when i always get to see you?”

“you’re a hero,” you laughed.

“and you’re a villain,” he finished off.

“you know we shouldn’t be together, right?”

“why? who says love has boundaries? i said i would love you through anything, didn’t i?”

“oh shut up,” you chuckled. “get over here.”

“oh? you want me to put you in jail that badly?” he teased.

“shut the fuck up, you shitty hero.” it was impossible to wipe the smile off your face. he accepted you. truly accepted you. “i’ll have you groveling on your knees for mercy in minutes.”

“i’d like to see you try.”

the two of you charged forwards, twisting romantically in a dual of good and evil, with a gray area reserved just for the two of you known as love.

- - -

ʟɪᴋᴇꜱ, ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ꜱᴏ ꜱᴏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴘʀᴇꜱꜱᴜʀᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ, ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴇɴᴛʜᴜꜱɪᴀꜱᴍ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ (ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɢᴏᴇꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀꜱ ᴀꜱ ᴡᴇʟʟ!) ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴍᴏᴛɪᴠᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴇʟꜱᴇ ᴅᴜᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ɴᴏʙᴏᴅʏ ɪꜱ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴏʀ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ

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anxiousgaypanicking · 3 years

Text

What You Need (Intrulogical)

Two days without eating and three without sleeping sounded like the normal schedule for college student Logan Berry. He's in class all day and works all night just to barely pay off his rent every month. Constant bills leave little room for bare necessities, and it's clear that his current lifestyle is very damaging. While looking for solutions, he comes across one that seems... mediocre at best, but he's desperate. What is this solution? A sugar daddy.

this is a sugar daddy story. that means there will be sex. kinky sex, especially further on. im not going to put a warning at the beginning of each chapter so heres your warning for the entire book. each new chapter will most likely have a different smut scene, so read with caution

Also! This is a copy of my story from wattpad that im posting here because i want to get into using tumblr :DD so... pog!

Part 1

"You look like shit," Janus comments, taking a seat next to Logan in their lecture hall. Logan can hardly muster a groan in response, leaning uncomfortably over his notebook in order to review the notes he had taken the day before.

He looks up at Janus, giving Janus a good look at the bags under Logan's eyes, no doubt from him being forced to stay up all night working.

"Another night shift?" Janus questions, and Logan nods.

It's all he could take, due to the fact he had school in the mornings and studied for a bit after school. But, he had to make money somehow, seeing as getting evicted and/or starving was out of the question.

Janus sighs, kicking his feet up onto the table in front of them, earning a glare from Logan.

"That's not proper classroom etiquette, you know," he grumbles, which earns a grin from Janus.

"And? What are you gonna do about it?" Janus asks, sass clear in his voice. When Logan rolls his eyes and sets his head down on the desk, Janus laughs. "That's what I thought. Absolutely nothing."

"Why do I put up with you again?"

"Even I don't know the answer to that question." Janus snickers, as the room slowly fills up. There's not many kids, so they're all spread out in the hall. Most people sit apart; hardly any of them even have the energy to become acquainted with each other.

The professor walks in minutes later, announcing his presence with an over-exaggerated "good morning class" that makes both Logan and Janus groan.

Logan picks his head up off his desk, rubbing away the drool that had pooled on the front of his notebook, before he opened it up.

The professor spoke way too fast, and Janus didn't even try to listen, while Logan's tired brain tried to keep up with everything that was being said. Janus went back and forth between zoning out and musing at Logan's determined attitude.

Despite the fact it was early, and Logan was clearly tired, he still valued his education and everything the professor said.

After this class, they had another one. In fact, their entire day was filled with classes, as that was the way school worked.

What a shame.

Janus and Logan had very different classes, with their morning lesson being the only one they shared, but that tiny bit of social interaction was enough to keep them from living their college life in complete solitude, so it was enough.

Logan went through today like he went through every day; a groggy mindset and the school's free, cheap coffee being both his source of hydration and the thing keeping him awake.

He participated when he could, but that wasn't often. More often than not he had his face buried in his notebook, frantically scribbling down notes in an attempt to keep up with his professors, and jot down his own thoughts.

Normally, he could work fast, but it's hard to focus on so little sleep and sustenance.

After school, Logan sluggishly walked home, as per usual. He'd have a couple hours to study (or sleep) before he had to head to work.

And normally, he would do either of those things, but upon walking into his dinky apartment, grabbing a cup (which was one of the two he owned - flatware is expensive), and filling it with some questionable tap water, he decided he really had to look into more ways to make money.

With a sigh, he set his cup down, moving to his tiny couch instead. It was uncomfortable to sit on; stiff to the touch. He pulls his computer out of his backpack; it was one of the nicer things he owned, and his parents helped him buy it seeing as he needed one for school.

It was old, and very outdated, but it worked, and that was enough.

He patiently waits for the search engine to load up (understanding that his apartment's cheap wi-fi ran slowly, but he didn't have the money for his own router so this would have to do) before typing in "what are quick ways to make money?"

He was provided with a bunch of job options that he didn't even bother looking at.

He already had a job; he definitely didn't have time for a second one. Not with his already full schedule.

So why was he even looking? Did he want to gamble? Or join some sort of pyramid scheme? Maybe he was just looking to make sure there was nothing better out there.

And that's almost the conclusion he came to, until he came across a site that had "sugar daddy" in the URL. A sugar daddy...? Logan, surprisingly, didn't know what that was.

He clicks the link, opening a new tab as well to look up what a sugar daddy was while the link loaded.

He scans over the definition.

"A rich, older man who lavishes gifts on young people in return for their company or, more typically, sexual favors."

His face scrunches up. Money in return for sex? Isn't that... isn't that prostitution? Isn't that illegal?

Surprisingly, no. It's one of the few exceptions to that law. And Logan stares at that link for a few seconds, considering it.

Well...

He sighs, closing his computer, as he sinks deeper into the uncomfortable couch. He lets his eyes rest for a second, momentarily soothing the burning that's always there nowadays.

He can't let himself fall asleep, though, as he knows there's always the possibility he'll sleep through his alarm, and he can't even risk getting fired from his job. That was currently his only source of income, which helped him pay bills and get some food every once in a while.

With a sigh, he reopened his eyes, and his computer, bringing him to a sign in page on the sugar daddy website.

Was he actually considering this?

...yes.

He quickly types in his name and age, as well as inputting his gender, and inserting a profile picture (albeit a very awkward one), before typing up a short bio.

"I just don't want to starve."

Yeah, mood.

Afterwards, he's brought to a Tinder-esque screen, showing other profiles with a red thumbs down and a green thumbs up on the bottom of the screen. When Logan hovered his mouse over them, they lit up, showing they were buttons.

"Hmm," he hummed, pushing his glasses up as he scans over the first profile, already cringing at the age. "67." Yikes.

Well, he'll do what he has to, but maybe with someone a little bit younger... if there even were any younger people on here. Logan honestly was hoping for a miracle, unrealistically so.

But, he pressed the thumbs-down button nonetheless, deciding he'd at least try.

"58." Eh.

"49." Getting better...

"23."

Woah. Twenty-three? This fucker was only a couple years older than Logan was.

Logan quickly skimmed over their profile. The profile picture was blurry, and normally Logan would take that as a bad sign, but he was desperate.

"Remus Prince, 23

here for a fun and sexy time ;))) will treat my sweet lil baby right ;000"

Well, it was childish, and Logan found himself slightly annoyed with the usage of emoticons and the improper capitalization, but, he really would rather sleep with a younger man.

With one final re-evaluation of this decision, he clicks the thumbs-up button, taking him to a chat feature. Oh, interesting.

Logan, who was pretty socially stunted, hummed, as he tried to figure out an appropriate way to start this conversation.

'Hey.'

Well, that was a good start. He set his computer to the side, standing up to grab his cup of water and carry it back to the couch. When he sat down, he saw he already had a reply. Damn, did people just have constant free time?

'hey there cutie ;))'

'i take it ur lookin for a daddy <33??'

No, Logan was just on this website for fun. He rolled his eyes, and then cringed at the idea of referring to this man as his 'daddy.' Ew. He'd stick to Remus for now.

'In a sense, yes, assuming your referring to the 'title.''

He had to be sure.

'pfft- nerd'

';) just joking'

'and yes, that is what i meant smh. so when do you wanna meet, baby?'

Logan frowned slightly at being called 'baby,' not being able to properly identify how it made him feel. Weird, definitely. Ugh, this was all confusing and, God, he couldn't believe he was actually doing this.

'Tomorrow,' Logan answers. before providing the time after he'd be out of school. They could talk in the few hours Logan had before work, and perhaps he could get a better sense on what being a sugar baby was going to be like.

Remus accepts (adding many unnecessary emojis and emoticons along with a simple "that works"), and Logan sighs as he shut his computer yet again.

He discards it in favor of pulling out his notebook and reviewing the notes he had taken today.

School took his priority until his job started, and provided a good distraction from the now looming concept of meeting his future sugar daddy.

Wow, he still couldn't believe he actually resorted to a solution like that. This option is.... mediocre at best.

It was so unlike him, but desperate times called for desperate measures, he supposes.

In order to distract himself, and also kill some time before he has to head into work, he studies the notes he had made, repeating and re-writing in an effort to burn them into his memory. He does this for a couple hours, up until his phone rings. It's an alarm, labelled "get ready for work."

He ends up doing just that, combing through his hair and quickly scrubbing his face in order to look more presentable. He then fixes his clothes, smoothing out the wrinkles and trading out his tie for his work apron. He didn't put it on right away, as he still had to walk to work, but he did fold it neatly over his arm.

He speed-walks to his job, and works throughout the night.

Of course, he was aware of the recommended eight-to-ten hours of sleep people were supposed to get in order to be healthy, but Logan had been functioning just fine on the three hours of sleep he got daily (if even that).

Logically, three hours was a complete sleep cycle. It's just recommended by doctors that people get three cycles.

But Logan didn't have the time to sleep for nine hours a night. Not unless he wanted to drop out of college and move back in with parents (both of which he definitely did not want to do).

He completes the tedious tasks his work gives him, hardly socializing with any of his co-workers, all of which looked equally as tired as he did, before heading home. Perhaps one would be more afraid of walking home alone in the middle of the damn night, but Logan knew the sun would rise in half an hour or so. That, and at least kidnappers would give him a temporary relief from work and school.

And murder would permanently relieve him from both! There was no downside.

When he gets back to his apartment, he folds up his apron and puts it away, before packing all his notes and supplies back into his bag. He checks himself in the bathroom as he slings his bag over his shoulder.

The purple bags on his eyes were growing increasingly prominent. That wasn't great.

He checks his phone after a moment, before humming as he trudged back into the living room and slipped on his shoes, deciding that he'd try and sleep after school today-

Nope! He groaned, as he remembered his meeting with that sugar daddy. What was his name again? Logan tried to think back to it, before his phone rang, the alarm for school going off, distracting him. He dismisses it, adjusting his bag, before heading out the door. Curse morning classes.

He ends up in the lecture hall earlier than most everyone else, as per usual, although Janus is already at his seat. Legs kicked up on the table. As per usual.

"Good morning," Logan greets him, setting his bag down and pulling out his notes.

Janus hums in response, scrolling through his phone. His phone that Logan had never seen before.

"Is that a new phone?" Logan questions, raising an eyebrow. He knew Janus had more access to money than he did (as he often came to school with new rings or fancy tailored clothes) but there was nothing wrong with his old one.

Janus looks at Logan, momentarily confused, before he blinks in realization of the question. "Oh, yeah. It looked cool, and my old one was a bit slow."

"Ah."

Logan couldn't even imagine just spending money carelessly on himself. His phone, while outdated and cracked, could still call, text, and set alarms. If it wasn't broken, why would he need a new one?

With that short exchange, both of them went back to their own devices (literally, in Janus's case) as they wait for class to start.

However, Logan finds that he can't focus, instead thinking about what this afternoon's meeting would have in store for him. The sugar daddy - who Logan had remembered was named Remus - seemed flirtatious over text (although Logan was bad at identifying romantic social cues due to lack of exposure, so he could have just been really friendly), but Logan couldn't picture meeting him.

The unpredictability of the event annoyed him, and what annoyed him even more was that he didn't even know what Remus looked like! His profile picture was blurry and extremely hard to make out.

Guess he'd discover what he looked like upon meeting him, as that wasn't dangerous.

He tries to focus throughout class, once again leaning over his work and scribbling rapid notes, but his mind can only listen to the teacher for so long before he's thinking about the meeting again.

Ugh, if he knew he was going to be this distracted by an interaction that hasn't even happened yet, he would just not have scheduled the meeting at all.

Janus seemed to notice that Logan wasn't focusing solely on the class as he usually would, but didn't ask about it. He didn't want to intrude, and he knew Logan would probably give a vaguely concerning answer anyway.

So, instead, Janus left Logan to sort through his own problems alone, like any half-decent friend probably would.

Logan ends up being distracted throughout the rest of the day. Funny how one instance can absorb all of one's mental energy. He still paid attention as well as he could (as he would have otherwise been upset with himself), but near the end of the school day, he finds himself rather antsy. He's not nervous, despite the fact he has fair reason to be. No, he's overly curious, and eager to live through a new experience.

Even if he was unhappy about how his life had managed to come to this. Not that there was really anything he could do about it, without throwing his life out of order.

At the end of the day, he walked home as quickly as he could. He needed time to himself to prepare for Remus's arrival. Not physically, as he looked presentable enough in that regard, but mentally.

When he gets back to his apartment, he checks his phone for the time, before tossing his bag near the couch. There's still about ten minutes until the time Logan requested meeting Remus at, but he's anxiously awaiting his arrival nonetheless.

Those ten minutes pass, and Logan has pulled out his schoolbook, reviewing equations for the upcoming exam in his science class. Another ten minutes go by as Logan gets immersed in the material, before there's a knock on the door.

Logan blinks, drawn out of his finally focused state, before he checks the time. Ten minutes past when he and Remus had scheduled.

Was he late? If he was, that wouldn't be the best start to a first impression.

Logan got up and opened his door, revealing a tall, thin man with pale skin and messy brown hair. He was wearing a pale green tank top and cargo shorts, and had brown eyes that seemed almost red when the light hit them right.

He also had a thin mustache gracing the space above his top lip.

The man grinned and leaned against Logan's door frame.

"Heya there, babes," he greets, before just walking inside. Logan's too stunned to really say anything, so all he can do is shut the door behind him. "You're Logan Berry, yeah?"

It takes Logan a moment to find his voice, so jarred by the young man in front of him. He looked younger than Logan. And not as rich or as fancy as Logan had pictured him. He honestly expected a well-groomed man in a regal suit to show up to his door.

Yet, he was greeted with... this.

"Yeah," Logan answers, after a moment. "I take it you're... Remus."

"Bingo, baby!" Remus says, with a grin, as his hands find Logan's waist. That, mixed with the nickname, made Logan feel weird.

An unidentifiable way, but mostly just hot.

Remus snickers. "Man, you're cute. I really lucked out, huh?"

"Uh, I guess," Logan responds, standing stiff in Remus's hold. "You look younger than I expected."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

Logan averts his gaze and shrugs, feeling awkward and inexperienced in this situation. And everything was moving very fast; Logan had no time to process and retain a lot of the information being thrown his way.

"Yeah, that's fair. I just know some people have a kink for age differences. Although, you're the same age I am, so I guess that wouldn't make much sense."

Logan listened to him talk, eyebrow raising slightly at the age kink comment.

He knew what the definition of a kink was, but an age kink...?

"Ah," Logan says, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. There's silence for a moment, before Remus snickers again.

"Wow, you're really awkward."

"And you're really blunt," Logan counters, knowing that Remus is right. He doesn't know what to do here; he's never been in this situation before.

Remus laughs at Logan's words though, pulling him closer, which causes Logan to flush at the contact. He... he had never been this physically close to anyone before.

"Are you blushing?" comes Remus's voice, and Logan just sighs.

"Clearly."

Remus backs up a bit, his hands moving from Logan's waist to his face, cupping it, before tilting it this way and that way. Logan looks confused, and still unsure of what to do with his own hands.

Remus's peppy face falls for a moment, looking like he was studying Logan, before he clears his throat.

"Have you ever had a sugar daddy before?" he asks, and Logan wonders if it's really that obvious. He would have brought it up at some point anyway, because he's confused as hell, but this works.

"No."

Remus hums. "Have you ever had sex before?"

"No."

"Have you ever been in a relationship before?"

Yes, platonically, but Logan could tell that he meant romantically, which prompted Logan to answer "no."

Remus laughed, his face lighting back up. "Damn, you're new to all of this then! This'll be fun."

Fun? What did that have to do with Logan being new to this whole ordeal?

"So, you do at least know what having a sugar daddy means, right?" Remus asks, as he pulls Logan to the couch via an arm around his waist.

He expects to sit down next to him, but he ends up getting pulled into Remus's lap before he can even process what's happening.

However, Remus does finally take the time to ask "you're comfortable with this, right?"

"Having a sugar daddy?"

Remus snorts, his hands rubbing Logan's thighs. "Well, partially. I was more so referring to me being all touchy. It's technically part of the job, ya know, sex for money and all that, but since you're new to this, it's worth making sure."

Logan has to think about that for a genuine minute, because he is indeed new to this, and it's making him feel weird, but he decides it's a good kind of weird.

So he nods. "Yeah. I suppose I'm comfortable with this. It's just new to me."

Remus grins, his hands sliding back up to Logan's waist and pulling him closer. "Are you comfortable with kissing, too?"

Logan's face flushes involuntarily at the question, and at the sight of Remus smirking at him with hungry eyes.

"I- well- I've never kissed anyone before."

"Virgin in all regards, huh? Don't worry, I'll teach you all there is to know. Perks of the job." Remus cups his face, his voice lowered. "Provided I have your consent, of course."

Logan gulps, his face hot, as he nods.

"Verbal consent, Lo."

"Yeah- yeah you have my consent."

Remus smiles, before leaning it fully, pressing his lips against Logan's. Logan still feels awkward, and unsure of what to do, but he guessed the best way to learn would be to just do what he thought he should.

So, he moves his own hands, which were previously laying lax in his lap, onto Remus's shoulders, and Remus grins into the kiss, before tilting his head and deepening it. His tongue slips past Logan's lips, before Logan suddenly pulls away.

"What was that?" Logan asks, before Remus has the chance to ask if he's okay.

Remus looks puzzled for a moment, before he grins. "That was french kissing, silly. Man, despite looking like a nerd, you're really clueless."

Logan frowns, which prompts Remus to kiss him yet again.

"I just don't understand this. I need to do more research on it, it seems," Logan says, mostly muttering to himself. Perhaps it would have been better if he researched kissing and sexual techniques. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so inexperienced in this situation.

However, Remus seems to disagree. "What you need," he begins, his hands on Logan's waist suddenly tightening. "Is for me to take care of you." He suddenly changes their position, pinning Logan to the couch, while Remus smirks over top of him. "Lucky for you, I'm surprisingly good at that."

Logan's face is dark red, and he's speechless yet again. But he doesn't need to talk, as Remus's lips reconnect with his, and Logan closes his eyes and lets himself relax into it. His normally stiff shoulders ease, and his arms slide back around Remus's shoulders, subconsciously pulling him closer.

Once again, Remus deepens the kiss, but this time Logan was at least expecting it. What he wasn't expecting were Remus's hands untucking his shirt and sliding up it. He shivers at Remus's hands running up his chest, before moaning when they reach his nipples.

Remus snickers, as he breaks the kiss. "Damn, you're really cute, Logan."

"Uh-huh," Logan responds, arching his chest into Remus's touch, as they pinch and twist at his nipples. "You've said that already."

"I'm gonna keep reinforcing the idea," Remus says, sticking out his tongue. Then he helps Logan take his shirt off all the way, fully exposing Logan's chest.

"Wow, you're very thin," Remus comments, hands lightly running over Logan's ribs, which were way more prominent than is healthy. "How often do you eat?"

"I'm not the best at reading social cues, but are you sure this is the best time to ask that question?"

Remus stares at him for a moment, before shrugging. "Not necessarily, but after this I'm buying us dinner."

"What?" Logan says, as he sits up slightly. "Why?"

Remus looks at him if he's stupid, before remembering that Logan is new to this. "Okay, so, this is probably not the best time to give a lesson, but sugar daddies pay their sugar babies for sex. I thought you'd at least know that."

"I did. I thought that was money."

"Well, it can just be money, but they also get paid in other things. Like jewelry and clothes, or food. Necessities and gifts."

"Oh," Logan says, as he pushes up his glasses. "I suppose that makes sense. You don't have to though."

"Don't have to do what?"

"Buy dinner."

And once again, Remus looks at him as if he's stupid. "Logan, we're literally about to have sex. This agreement - the one between daddies and babies - is we have sex and then I pay you. Me not paying you would sort of defeat the whole purpose."

Logan blinks, before just nodding. Yeah, that seems fair.

Remus seems happy the conversation is over, as his attention turns back to Logan's chest. He leans down and licks a stripe up it, an action that Logan would cringe at if he didn't find it weirdly hot.

Remus's mouth then latches onto one of his nipples, tongue messing with it, before he sucks lightly around it. Logan's hands gripped tighter at Remus's shoulders, his nails accidentally digging into his back, and he lets out a moan that makes him slap a hand over his mouth afterwards, his face dark red.

It's not his fault his body was so sensitive. Remus's touches just felt so good. And the way he was eyeing up at Logan made him flush darker.

Logan had to look away, tucking his face into the crook of his elbow as Remus moved away from his nipple and turned his attention to Logan's pants instead. He quickly makes work of unbuttoning his cheap jeans before tugging them down and tossing them to the side, hardly hesitating before pulling Logan's boxers down as well, his embarrassingly hard cock springing up at the action.

He feels strangely vulnerable under Remus, as he's now naked and on display while Remus is still fully clothed.

And Remus is eyeing up and down, licking his lips, as if Logan's his next meal.

"You sure you're okay with this?" Remus asks, and Logan gulps and nods.

"Yes, I'm sure," he says. It's for the money; that's why he took the offer in the first place, but now he found himself extremely curious about the situation he had gotten himself into.

Remus nods at his answer, reaching into the pocket of his shorts, before pulling out a small bottle and a small, square package. Noticing the curious look Logan gave the bottle, he hands it to him, before working to pull off his own clothes.

"Lube," Logan states, while reading the bottle. Unsurprisingly, he didn't learn about safe gay sex in school, because all they teach, if they teach sex at all, is straight sex.

Which is stupid, considering not everyone is straight, but whatever.

"You need it," Remus explains, pulling his shirt off. "It's to make sure you don't feel pain while I fuck you. Also to keep your asshole from tearing. It's a necessity for anal sex."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Remus hums, working to unbutton his pants. "I always carry a bottle considering some people just don't have it lying around, and nothing else should be used as a substitute."

He snickers as Logan reads over the small print over the bottle.

"Like you, for example. You look like you've never seen lube in your life."

"I haven't."

"Yeah, makes sense."

Logan hands the bottle back when Remus reaches for it, only then fully realizing that Remus was just as nude as he was.

He takes a moment to scan over Remus's body. He's thin, as Logan could tell when he first arrived, but he's also paler underneath his clothes. He has a few scars littering his chest, arms, and legs.

Logan would ask what they were from if Remus didn't immediately snicker.

"See something you like?" he asks, playfully, earning an eye-roll from Logan.

"Not necessarily."

"Ouch, you wound me, Logan."

Logan rolls his eyes again, before going back to evaluating Remus's body. Mainly, just trying to study it enough to commit it to memory, while Remus works on squirting some lube onto his fingers.

Logan's eyes shamelessly look towards Remus's cock, eyes widening slightly at the sight of it.

His own cock was a little above average, but Remus's was definitely bigger than his. That thing was going to go inside him?

The thought made Logan shiver and blush involuntarily, but Remus didn't seem to notice, instead grabbing Logan's thigh with his clean hand and lifting it up slightly.

"What are you doing?" Logan asks, still propped up on his elbows, as Remus grazes his teeth over Logan's thigh.

"I'm going to stretch you," Remus says with a hum. "Since you're new to this, and specifically a virgin, it's important to prep you before you take my big cock." It's said semi-seriously and semi-flirty, but Remus's tone is enough to make Logan go red in the face.

He himself couldn't believe he was blushing at some flirty words and a few sensual touches, but alas, he was.

"Okay?" Remus asks, drawing Logan out of his thoughts. Logan nods, before responding with "yeah, okay."

Remus smiles, before slowly easing one finger into Logan. Logan gasps at the feeling, hands grasping the stiff cushion beneath him.

It felt... weird. Not bad, but definitely strange.

Remus slowly pushes the finger in and out of him, before sliding another finger in him, scissoring him open. Remus seems pretty focused on making sure Logan's properly stretched, but he also takes the time to nip at Logan's thighs, earning a few gasps and grunts from Logan.

He'd leave a few hickeys over his body, but he wanted to make sure Logan was comfortable with sex before he did anything a bit more extreme. He'd have to ask Logan about some of his kinks and boundaries when they weren't literally about to fuck so he could plan ahead.

Remus ends up pushing a third finger in, steadily pumping them in and out of Logan, before Logan tries to roll his hips down involuntarily, feeling the urge to get more pleasure.

Remus grins at this, before pulling his fingers out, earning a whine from Logan.

Remus shushes him with a quick kiss, wiping his fingers against Logan's couch (not like Logan noticed anyway) as he quickly tears open the condom package. He doesn't break the kiss as he spreads Logan's thighs apart, one of them being smashed against the vertical cushions, and the other was practically dangling off the couch.

"You gotta relax for me, okay baby?" Remus says, voice smooth, as Remus quickly works to lube the condom up as an extra precaution, before he lines his cock up with Logan's entrance. Logan nods, not sure what he's about to feel (assuming it'll feel at least similar to Remus's fingers) so he's partially unsure of how to brace himself.

He's surprised, however, as Remus's cock slowly slides into him, and he tenses as his hands tightly grip the couch.

"You okay?" Remus asks, hands slowly massaging Logan's thighs. "You're not in any pain, right?" He sounds slightly concerned, although he really still just seems casual.

"No- no pain," Logan breathes out, biting his lip. "It's just... weird. I'm not used to it."

"You'll get used to it eventually," Remus responds, with a grin. "Provided you wanna stick with me."

Logan rolls his eyes, as this was definitely not the right time to even mention that, considering Remus's cock was halfway inside of him at this moment

Remus is still for a moment though, giving Logan a moment to adjust and to completely process what was happening.

After a minute or so, Logan finally nods his head, his body relaxing completely.

"Good?" Remus asks, his hands sliding until they reach Logan's hips. His hands grip there a bit firmer, and Logan shifts slightly, before answering "good."

Remus's hands hold tight to Logan's waist, as he manages to slide his cock in fully.

Logan lets out a whine as it's fully inside of him, his hands moving to tightly grip Remus's shoulders. Remus rubs his hips, before leaning down to kiss over Logan's collarbone.

He still wants to bite down, and he doesn't hesitate to drag his teeth over the unhealthily prominent bone, but he resists biting. For now, at least.

When Logan starts shifting a bit to get more friction, Remus smirks, and he slides his cock halfway out, before thrusting harshly back in, causing Logan to let out a high moan.

Remus's smirk grows, as Logan bites his lip, his nails digging into Remus's shoulders.

"Remus," he breathes out, head laid back against the cushions, silently begging him to do that again. He'd verbally ask himself if not for the weird feeling inside of him that sent blood rushing to his face, which provided a pretty sight for Remus.

Remus obviously understood (he'd had enough sex to understand cues), as he pulls out again, almost fully this time, before slamming back into him, causing Logan's back to arch, as he cries out Remus's name, his legs closing instinctively around Remus's waist, effectively pulling him closer.

Although, Remus didn't seem to mind that much, as he connects their lips for a messier than usual kiss, as Remus had begun thrusting into Logan at a steady, albeit slow, pace. And while it wasn't as extreme Remus could go, or wanted to go, it was a lot for Logan, especially all at once and so suddenly in his life.

But, it's not like he could exactly complain in between all the pathetic noise involuntarily spilling from his mouth. Babbles of nonsense, as his body is introduced to more and more exciting stimulation.

Then, Remus suddenly hits something inside of him that shoots pleasure up his spine, his eyes rolling back into his head as his toes curl, as he whines out Remus's name.

"That spot feel good, baby?" Remus asks him, and Logan can only nod in response, his eyes now screwed shut in pleasure as Remus continues to thrust into that spot, earning loud moans and pitiful begs from Logan.

"Fuck..." Remus mutters, his nails digging into Logan's hips, puncturing the skin slightly. Logan would complain about how the germs from Remus's hands could potentially cause the very small wounds to become infected, if he wasn't too busy drooling and moaning.

"You close, Lo?" Remus grunts out, earning a gasped out "yes!"

Remus chuckles lowly, as one of his hands releases Logan's hip and instead grabs hold of his red cock, stroking it fast and irregularly compared to his thrusts. The action had Logan moaning, before he comes across his chest with a whine of Remus's name.

Remus, however, doesn't stop the assault on his cock, continuing to stroke it and thrust into Logan mercilessly. Logan whines at the overstimulation, laying lax against the couch as he continues to let Remus please himself, before Remus's nails dig hard into him and he groans, coming into the condom.

He stays inside of Logan for a moment, both of them catching their breaths, before he pulls out, sliding the condom off and tying it shut, before he gets up to go find a trashcan to toss it in.

When he comes back to the couch, Logan's eyes are shut, glasses askew on his face.

"Logan," he says, as he grabs his clothes and starts sliding them back on, ignoring the fact he was covered in sweat and had just gotten done having sex.

He receives no answer, so he gently pokes Logan's cheek after gathering all his stuff. "Logan?"

Still nothing. He hums, before shrugging. If he was tired enough to sleep, might as well let him sleep. He did end up stalking around his small, and rather poor looking apartment though, in search of a blanket. He finds one, neatly folded on the edge of Logan's bed, and he smiles as he brings it back into the living room. He pays no mind to the fact Logan's covered in come as he drapes the blanket over him.

Then, he pulls out his wallet, and sets multiple bills on the table, placing a half-full cup of water that was sitting on the table already on top of it, to keep it in place.

Then, whistling a strangely eerie tune, he walked off, making sure to lock Logan's apartment door behind him, for Logan's sake.

And, damn, this would be one hell of a thing to wake up and remember.

Part 2

#intrulogical #sanderssides #sanders sides #thomas sanders #thomassanders #logansanders #logan sanders #logic sanders #remus sanders #remussanders #loganxremus #logan x remus #sanders sides fic #sanders sides smut #agp fic #intrulogical sugar daddy au

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lyracasstuff · 3 years

Note

!!!! could i please get hcs for naib and demi (separately) with a princess s/o (fem)? like her role is a princess and all that jazz :D (i recently made a main which is this one, im an idv blog myself i just like requesting things for other blogs :D)

I really really like this request..（・∀・）

Although, please excuse me if these headcannons are shorter for your taste,, I had been busy for quite a while,, and so my brain juices are a little drained...(⌒_⌒;)

Also,, hello fellow idv blogger!!（〜^∇^)〜

Naib and Demi x Fem! Princess! S/o👑✨

Naib Subedar🌛🌌

He would really be shocked and confused as to 1) HOW you got here? And 2) WHY are you here?

You, a ROYAL? Someone who's been sheltered and pampered ALL her LIFE, would PARTICIPATE in a gruesome game like THIS???

He really couldn't understand it..

Although he was very curious about you,, he *did* hold himself back from walking up to you and just bombard you with ALL sorts of questions..

So, it took the both of you some time to be acquainted with each other.. Naib started out small,, like greeting you with a rather stiff and rusty bow in an attempt to "match" with your own elegant courtesy whenever you two crossed paths..( ´ ▽ ` )

Or pulling your seat for you whenever you would sit down and prepare for a match..

To even lending you a hand in carrying your stuff when they were too heavy such as books, clothes, personal hygeine items, hair care, skin care, etc...

(Naib really wonders if you REALLY needed all of your 50 ballgowns and dresses...)

He just really wants you to feel at home despite being trapped in a manor..

On the topic of making you feel at home...

There's another thing aside from doing acts of service: protectiveness

He understands that you were most likely protected and guarded by knights before you went into the manor,, so you *probably* didn't know much about self defense...

So if anyone EVER tries to touch you, be it your hair, your face, your arm..

You can *BET* that Naib is going to be slapping said person's hand away while ushering you to get behind him..

He WILL do this to BOTH survivor OR hunter by the way...(｡･ω･｡)

You were very much pleased by Naib's protection and support,, he was just like your own personal butler and knight back home!!

Over time,, Naib's gestures had gotten bolder and bolder...

He went from doing acts of service, to teaching you how to kite, how to heal, how to rescue, how to vault windows, etc...

However,, you may or may not have teared up from the fact that you accidentally snagged a piece of your favorite dress from trying to put down a pallet...(^_^;)

Naib really panicked at that time.. He knows how to sew open wounds, not dresses and ballgowns!! (◎_◎;)

Nevertheless,, the both of you would still have fun by the end of the day..

Naib really couldn't help but be in love with you... How could he not though?? You were so sweet and elegant in everything that you do..

Even during the moments where you weren't the most elegant,, he still cherished it all the same..( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

Which is why he REALLY couldn't deny his jealousy and saltiness towards Wu chang, Joseph, heck,, even Mary sometimes.. Joseph and Mary are both nobles so OF COURSE you would relate to the aristocratic life,, and Wu chang were GUARDS before they got into the manor,, so OF COURSE they would serve as better protectors than he is..

Then, look at him,, he's nothing more than a man whose ENTIRE job revolves around killing targets that his clients propose.. Well,, at least that's what he thinks anyways..

Be that as it may,, Naib's mind would still be plagued by this thought.. So much so that He doesn't even notice that he's been distancing himself from you...

You aren't the same however... You KNOW that something's been disturbing him, you KNOW that something's upsetting him.. You can literally FEEL it..

And so,, in these times, you would decide to come visit him in his designated room,, all the while comforting him and telling him that while he may not be a noble or a guard,, you still love him regardless of his status and that you are grateful for everything that he's done for you..❤

Naib says nothing,, however, his body language and look of pure love and adoration on his face tells you everything you need to know..❤❤❤

That day has now marked an important event of your lives: the start of a new, blooming relationship..（⌒▽⌒）

First of all,, remember how I talked about his jealousy and protectiveness?? Well,, those just got amplified when you two are confirmed to be in a relationship now..

He sometimes does this thing where if someone wants to speak with you,, Naib would do either of these 2 things: either he asks you if you want to speak to them OR if he's feeling a little selfish with your time,, he just tells them to go "set up an appointment" with you...

He is really astonished at all the different kinds of spoons and forks, all the different etiquettes you follow, the amount of tiaras that you have...

And *especially* at how many relatives that you have.. Which was MUCH larger than the average family size...

((Fun fact: During the Victorian Era, the average family size was actually 6 children.. It had gone down by half by the end of said Era..))

I can't tell why,, but I have this headcannon in my mind that Naib actually prefers more simpler clothing on you.. He just doesn't like too much "eye clutter" per say...

That,, and there's just something so mesmerizing about your regal beauty meshing into the very simple clothing that Naib just finds so.. Heavenly..

All in all,, Naib is just dumbfounded and amazed as to how you had fallen in love with him and just how lucky he is at being with someone like you..

🌛💚🌛💚🌛💚🌛💚🌛💚🌛💚🌛💚🌛💚

Demi Bourbon🍺🍷

Much like Naib,, Demi over here is confused as to what a royal is doing here...

Unlike Naib, however, Demi is more upfront and straightforward and would just walk up to you and ask you directly..

"Woah!! Hey there!! What's a cute lil blueblood doin here??"

You get this question a LOT.. It stuck around for so long that it became an inside joke whenever Demi sees you in the same room as her...╮(─▽─)╭

Now,, she may be a girl,, but don't be fooled... She's surprisingly strong for her physique... So she'll DEFINITELY help you carry your stuff...

Just be prepared to be bombarded with ALL SORTS OF QUESTIONS about your stuff..

"Daaammnnn~ You royals really love your fancy schmancy stuff,, do you??"

"Ooooohhhh~~ A diamond encrusted necklace?? Hey, you wouldn't mind me borrowing it right??"

"This ball gown matches well with one of my costumes! Hey, how about we both dress up? We would REALLY look great together~❤"

You're going to have to get used to these questions someday...（・∀・）

She DOES teach you the basics,, but in all honesty, she never really lets you apply the things that you learned when you're actually in matches...

A hunter is right behind you?? You can bet that Demi will chug down her D.U.P.H.R.I.N, run as fast as she could and sweep you off your feet in a bridal carry..（＾ｖ＾）

"It is I, Your Knight in shining armor!!"

This happens all the time in matches

A hunter is preparing to take a swing on you?? Well,, not on Demi's watch!! Before the hunter can swing their weapon at you, Demi takes one of her bottles and smashes it onto their head...

She DID lose some morality points for that though....

Eventually,, you had to tell Demi that as much as you appreciate her "support", you still have to stand on your own,, ESPECIALLY when Demi is not in the same match as you are..

Demi would *reluctantly* agree and say that she just can't stand the thought of you being hurt, she doesn't want you to be in harm's way because she knows that some survivors *probably* just see you as dead weight,, considering you've been pampered your whole entire life..

Demi would then go on and tell you that she had been taking a liking towards you, and is interested in being in a relationship with you..

"Listen, your highness, I may not be an ACTUAL knight in shining armor, or a prince from some far away land.. But, I'd still want to take a chance at persuing you.. So, what do you say? Will you allow me to take a chance at wooing your heart??"

You of course say yes,, besides, you don't really care if she is of noble blood or not.. Her bold and daring personality is what made you like her..

And thus,, your relationship has started!!

Demi gets a *little* protective over you,, ESPECIALLY when someone's trying to flirt with you..

"Ah, ah, ah, she's mine~~"

"Oi, she's already taken, you idiot! How about go flirtin with someone who's NOT TAKEN???"

Demi over here doesn't really have any problem regarding jealousy,, if anything,, YOU might be the one having some jealousy problems here and there..

Because Demi practically flirts with anything and everything..

Never fear!! Demi would ALWAYS be there to give you reassurance that you're her one and only..( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

After that,, she'll tone down her flirty nature by a couple of notches so as to not worry you too much...

Demi would also serve you drinks!! For FREE!!(ノ^o^)ノ

The best part about this is that,, not only are you getting it for free, but you're also getting the FINEST quality...

And she serves your drink in the most dramatic way possible,, all accompanied by a cheeky wink at the end..😉

"Only the FINEST for your highness~❤"

Overall,, your relationship with Demi is surely an exciting and playful one! But don't let that make you think that Demi doesn't take you seriously..

Because she does!! And she will ALWAYS take your relationship seriously!!❤❤❤

🍺🍷🍺🍷🍺🍷🍺🍷🍺🍷🍺🍷🍺🍷🍺🍷

Author's note: I apologize if these headcannons are shorter and a bit "lackluster" for everyone's taste.. As stated before,, I had been busy as of late, so I wasn't able to regain much of my brain juices to write properly like usual..

Nevertheless,, I still hope that you enjoyed reading these headcannons!! (⌒_⌒;)(*´∀`*)

Until next time!! See you all in my next post!!ヾ(＠^∇^＠)ノ💚

#identity v #identity v imagines #identity v headcanons #identity v x reader #identity v mercenary #identity v naib #naib x reader #naib subedar #identity v barmaid #demi bourbon #idv headcanons #idv imagines #idv mercenary #idv naib #idv x reader #idv barmaid #idv demi

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fktonofwhatnow · 3 years

Note

ok hold on. acomaf is my fave book out of the whole series (it's mostly out of emotional value, i read it when i was younger and didn't have a real understanding out trauma and abuse only that i saw a character i loved getting out of a bad situation and getting happy) so obviously i didn't mind feysand being endgame and the development all of the characters had. i can accept tamlin turned out like that is realistic due to his trauma, i can accept feyre had to flee because it wasn't right for her, but the thing is after acofs i see no point to feyre leaving tamlin when rhysand ends up doing everything they told us tamlin was evil and unredeemable for. hiding the risks of her pregnancy, putting on shields on her, having feyre need to compromise over it. i honestly felt so betrayed by that. i'm not saying feyre and tamlin were good for each other, but it doesn't feel worth it to dismiss the potential they had for what we got with feysand.

also, sarah learn to treat "ugly" trauma with respect challenge. no they don't need to learn to physically fight to fight it. no they don't need a love interest to overcome it. yes the behaviors acquired from trauma and abuse aren't pretty but that doesn't mean a person is undeserving of kindness and compassion.

i think i had a point somewhere but i can't get to it. so hope you don't mind my rambling. anyway i loved your meta about tamlin i think he deserves better too

HOLY SHIT THIS ONE IS SO GOOD OK IM SO EXCITED

Bro you are so fine, I'm the one who doesn't make any sense and I totally get what you're trying to say. (Acomaf was actually my favorite book in the series too ngl)

BUT FUCK YEAH LETS TALK ABOUT RHYSAND.

I don't think it's a secret that Rhysand is one of my least favorite characters in media, probably ever? (How do I even put this into words) He is a bad character and to me, laughably so. You know how if you've ever written a character, there's that little phase that's like "what if people don't like this character' and then you're sad for a little bit? That's how Rhysand feels to me. He feels like SJM looked at this character and thought "I can't stand the thought of people not liking this character because I love him so much" and then did everything in her power to make sure we know how great he is.

Idk if this is just me screaming into the void, but I get to this place with my characters where like, especially if they are a little more morally gray or their decisions have negative impacts, I understand that I don't need the audience to like my main character. they can stand on their own, they can own up to what they do and they can grow from it. Thats what a good character does. That's how you keep your audience rooting for them. You gotta knock them over sometimes.

SJm doesn't knock Rhysand over. She doesn't push him to make mistakes, apologize, own up and move on. Rhysand has never made a decision that ended poorly for him. Everything goes the way he wants it to, because SJm wants us to know how cool and great he is. People who are cool and great don't make bad decisions! SJm doesn't let Rhysand fail, and she doesn't let him suffer his own decisions. Everyone else suffers his decisions, not him.

Rhysand's reputation as a good person hinges entirely on the audience liking him and/or thinking he's hot. And then what happens when the audience thinks neither of those things? Ya get a rly long post like this by a lil enby who is mad all the time. Rhysand loses all credibility when you look at him through a critical lens. Not a single thing the man does makes any goddamn sense. Here I thought acosf would give us a different perspective on Feysand and I was desperately hoping that Nesta would tell us what she really sees in them and how people around them really feel, I hoped that SjM would throw us for a loop and tell us that hey, she does know that Feysand are fucking toxic as hell and ruin the lives of people around them and she wants to show us that from an outside perspective but noooOoOOOoOoOOOO...

Instead we get Nesta hating herself because Rhysand told her that she shouldn't tell Feyre that Feyre could uh die in childbirth. Hey what the fuck.

Now I don't actually ship feylin, I kinda always sorta knew, even without spoilers, that it wasn't going to work out. Tamlin isn't sjm's idea of a good partner because he's not charming and witty and dark and handsome ya know? We met Rhysand and I knew that I was going to fucking hate this romance. Which sucks because I found Rhysand so intriguing in the first book. Ngl all the time spent in the spring court was kinda boring and every time Rhysand showed up to throw dead faeries at Tamlin I was like "oooooo" and I wanted to know more about why Tamlin, this awkward, blunt and kinda shy dude had beef with this super duper sly and shady man from another court.

I don't know if I've ever said this before, but SJm doesn't let her love interests grow. Rhysand doesn't change over the course of the story because he was already a good guy and his motives were for Feyre's sake I swear, the same goes for Rowan in TOG. SJm doesn't give Rhysand room to change. She needs to get to the part where they fuck make sure everyone knows that Rhysand is a good guy and actually he was good all along so that we like him more than Tamlin. It backtracks on everything bad Rhysand has ever done because you know... He had a good reason! It's fine!

I know it's probably just because SJm doesn't actually know how to write a good character growth arc but... Like can you imagine if Rhysand stayed the bad guy? Or at least remained the bad guy through acotar and acomaf? And then when Rhysand comes to take Feyre for his bargain it really was only to spite Tamlin? What about Rhysand, taking Feyre to the night court with him once a week every month for a long time, if only to see Tamlin's eyes grow darker and emptier every time he goes, and then he really starts to fall in love with Feyre. He's been a monster all this time, angry and cold and cruel and then he actually starts to fall in love. And then to get Feyre to stay he really does try to change, he stops antagonizing Feyre, he stops throwing dead faeries at Tamlin, and he stops harassing the Spring court. He starts spending genuine quality time with Feyre, he starts to learn about her and all the things she likes and he stops trying to get her to come with him just so Tamlin will be mad. He starts asking her to come with him because he wants to be around her and he prays that someday she'll want to be around him too. What if SJm let him grow.

But nahhhhhh instead we have a character who always knows the right answer to things, and he always knows how to fix every issue, and he is always so innovative and outside the box except that he isn't. We get a character who does the same shit as Tamlin but it's ok because he had a good reason not to tell Feyre that she could very well die in childbirth. Uhhhh don't know what that is but uhhh I know he has his reasons because all he has are his reasons.

It would be so easy to hold a mirror up to Rhysand and say "look at this. Look who you are. Do you not look just like Tamlin right now?"

But nooooooooOoOOOo Rhysand doesn't get to be wrong. Rhysand doesn't get to look like Tamlin because Tamlin is evil and Rhysand is definitely NOT I SWEAR.

But yeah I think the point I'm trying to make is that Sarah thinks so highly of Rhysand that he could never do wrong. He could never be like Tamlin, despite the narrative literally telling us the exact opposite.

Like you said, we lost the potential of what feylin could have been if SJm didn't suddenly decide that her audience needs to love Rhysand as much as she does. I think feylin could have been slow and sweet and a story of true healing and learning about one another. I think it would have been kind and steady and lots of "are you ok"s and "I'm sorry"s and "talk to me"s. Everything about Feysand feels rushed and hard and fast and the rest of the world doesn't have time to catch up. It's fucking exhausting to read it ya know what I'm saying.

(also can we talk about Rhysand like dying and Feyre finding the suriel and learning he's her mate and then instead of being like "k let's put a pin in that and fuckin save his life first" she like throws him around and everyone is like "wtf woman" and she's like I neeD tO Be alOnE these people have no idea how to prioritize)

Truly, I think it's innocent to a degree. There is absolutely no harm in wanting people to like your character. The harm comes when you destroy another character with no reason or explanation other than you want people to like a different character. Villain arc? Completely out of left field. You gotta build to that shit or like... Make it so that when you look back you slap your forehead and yell at a wall "OF FUCKING COURSE I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT"

anyways, SJm treat "ugly" trauma with respect challenge SECONDED.

WELL IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME WEEKS YO WRITE IM HAVING A HARD TIME I know it probably doesn't make any sense I can't find my braincells BUT thanks for the ask @xelly

Tell me all your acotar things I love yo hear them !!

#rhysand #anti rhysand #anti sjm #anti acotar #anti inner circle #tamlin #lucien deserved better #they all deserved better frankly

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nostalgiaruinedme · 3 years

Note

Hey I love your fics and writing style and well since I've been meaning to start writing fics I wanted to ask you if you have some advice you'd give.

Ohhh advice? Sure, I can do that! I shall bestow all of my knowledge upon you now, but you gotta look below the cut. Shhhh, it's a secret~

Okay really I just knew this was going to be a really long post and didn't want to clog up everyone's dash lol. ONTO WRITING ADVICE

I kind of live by these rules in writing:

1. Know the rules before you break them 2. ANYTHING can be inspiration 3. Remember the doll 4. Use your resources 5. Don’t hold yourself back 6. Practice 7. Enjoy yourself!!

1. Know the rules before you break them

Pay attention in English class (or whichever class for the language you're writing in) and learn the grammar!! I don't always have perfect grammar in my fics and sometimes I consciously choose to ignore grammar rules to make it more impactful, but you HAVE to know the rules before you break them. Study those grammar lessons! Learn how to use the fun punctuation, like semi colons and em dashes and en dashes and all that good stuff. I know they're scary, but they're a lot of fun too.

ALSO PLEASE USE PARAGRAPH BREAKS IM BEGGING that's like, a HUGE problem I see with a lot of new writers. Paragraph breaks are not optional!! Change 'em when the main topic of the paragraph switches or when a new character is speaking. Overdoing it with paragraph breaks is better than underdoing it, I promise.

2. ANYTHING can be inspiration

Have you ever played Story Cubes?

If you haven’t, it’s essentially this game where you roll the cubes, they each land on a different image, and you gotta tell a story that uses all of those pictures. Some are literally just a question mark or a speech bubble and that’s what you have to use. Me and my siblings used to play the game a lot. And you know what? Some of those stories are the most creative ones we’ve ever come up with. When I say anything can be inspiration for a story or a character, I mean ANYTHING!

I based my Donnie design off of the vintage globes and journals I have in my bedroom.

My little sister threw a pillow at me and it inspired a funny scene I wanted to write in another fic

I designed two OCs off of Mars and Pluto and an ENTIRE 40,000 word fanfiction based off of a space documentary I watched

My NaNoWriMo story last year was based off of the concept of shadows and how cool I thought it’d be if they could talk

Me and my friend made an entire dystopian original story commenting on our world today. It was first inspired by a crack self insert Death Note RP we had at 13 years old. Not kidding.

Literally anything can be inspiration. Challenge your mind!! The best ideas come out of completely ordinary and unexpected opportunities, in my experience. You don’t need one of those super detailed and crazy expensive prompt books (though they are fun) to write a great story. Use music, use a color, use the sky, use your favorite food, use anything! Just find inspiration!

3. Remember the Doll

Remember Mulan?

We never got to see the Huns destroy the village and we didn’t get to see them kill anyone there either. But by showing that doll there, the animators took an entire battle full of death and destruction and summed it all up in one, heartbreaking moment. You don’t need to spend ten pages writing about how horrifying the bad guy was and listing everything he did from start to finish, nor do you need to write an analysis on why she’s bad. All you need to do is show one or two very meaningful ways they impacted the world... and you can do that with something as simple as a doll lying on the ground in a burning village.

Because the doll is there; the little girl is not.

There’s a quote that sums this up really well, and I have it written on the dry erase board by my desk.

“You don't write about the horrors of war. No. You write about a kid's burnt socks lying in the road.” - Richard Price

And adding onto that, try to write more about what’s there, not what isn’t. Mulan didn’t say ANYTHING about the girl in that scene, but by showing what was there, it told us a story about what wasn’t. Focus on what is in the scene and it will tell your reader about what isn’t.

I do think writing a balance is good though, so I try and keep it around a 3/1 ratio of what is there vs what isn’t. Remember this is art though, not math; you can change the formula as you please just to make it feel right. It all depends on the scene and what you want.

4. Use Your Resources

You know how, in the artist community, there’s this sort of stigma around using references? And some artists have to make posts reminding others that there’s nothing wrong with using references and you even should use them?

It’s the same concept in writing!

There is NOTHING wrong with looking to other writers’ work or keep a thesaurus constantly open or bookmarking a reference page of other words to use than “said”. Nothing wrong with it at all! When I write, I always have two tabs open: my writing document and thesaurus.com. I have a folder on my computer bookmarks of ways to describe a smile and a body language dictionary. Before I write fanfic, I watch a “best moments of *character*” compilation video on Youtube to remind myself of how they speak. I watch fight scenes from The 100 or Avatar or Marvel while I write my own battles!

There are SO MANY resources out there for you to reference. Use them! And if you need some to start with, shoot me an ask. I have a ton.

5. Don’t Hold Yourself Back

One of the scariest parts of writing is the thought of “what will people think?” Creative writing is EXTREMELY personal, and you’re going to find a lot of you inside your work, including the thoughts you didn’t want anyone to know about.

People will discover how often you think about love. People will discover how dark your mind can get. People will discover the morals you hold that even you didn’t know about. They’ll discover that the person you swore you’ve moved on from is still on your mind. They’ll discover that the pain you swore you got over still hurts you.

“you can tell the deepest truths with the lies of fiction” - Isabel Allende

This thought scared me a lot, and still does. I’ve let go of and forgotten about so many story ideas because they were just a little too personal. I could write it and not publish it, but what if someone still sees? Writing, like all art, comes right from the heart and reveals a lot about a person. That paranoia of being known kept me from writing so much.

But I promise you, your most powerful stories are going to be the most personal ones.

I wrote Hated Resemblance based on my thoughts about myself, and I wrote Dagger From the Mirror based on thoughts about myself too. A lot of it is dark, most is painful, and all of it is scary to show the world. But I wrote it anyways and it’s created something pretty amazing.

Hell, even now I’m wondering if I should post that lil anecdote, but I think it’s the best way to make this part of my point stronger. See? Writing about things that affect you is the best way to make them impactful, even for something as simple as advice.

And even if you want to write about light and happy stories- you’re still going to have to get personal.

This all got pretty deep but my point is this: Don’t hold yourself back. Write what you feel you need to and it don’t worry about what anyone will think. Don’t hide that one sentence because you’re scared who will read it because you’re scared to be known so deeply. Add it in even when it’s scary.

That’s something I’m still learning how to do, and it’s a slow process that has taken years... but it’s worth it, I promise.

“Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.” - Natalie Goldberg

6. Practice

I started writing in 1st grade. I’ve written regularly since then, and this is my word count every month this year:

Most of that is fanfiction. Some are just random thoughts, some are really thought out posts or answers to your questions, and some are made up of original stories. That total words written number is since November.

You don’t have to write this much every month, I promise, I just don’t really have any other hobbies lol. My point is that practice is really really really important. Write a paragraph or even just a sentence every day. You’re gonna improve so quickly, I promise.

“Write every day. Writing is a muscle that gets stronger with use.” - Abbi Glines

But take breaks too!!! Don’t overwork yourself. Burn out is a real thing and you shouldn’t force yourself to write just because you’re scared you don’t write enough! Write at a pace that’s comfortable for you. There will always be writers out there who write more than you and even more writers who write less than you. That’s okay. Everyone has a pace they’re comfortable with, and you just gotta find yours. As long as you’re writing consistently, the numbers don’t matter too much. 50 words a day or 5000 are both good!

7. Enjoy Yourself!!

You’re here to have fun!

No matter what you’re writing (angst, romance, fix-it, AUs, hurt/comfort, fluff, ANYTHING), remember that fic writing is supposed to be fun!! You’re not getting paid to do this. On one hand, that sucks, but on the other hand it gives you the amazing opportunity to write literally whatever you want! Find projects you’re enthusiastic about, meet other writers, do collabs, make playlists for your story, create over powered OCs for the hell of it, ignore plot holes and write without regard to canon, or write the most realistic and in-depth canon-compliant book ever. Create the most self indulgent story you can think of!

Have fun. This is your story and you get to write the rules. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

Oh yeah, and one more thing. Be proud of yourself. You can get all of the comments and feedback in the world, but if you’re not proud of what you wrote, it’s gonna be hard to look back on it with joy. Be proud no matter how many reads it gets—you made it!

“I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.” - Steve Martin

#can you tell I like writing quotes #I have a whole pinterest board full of them #asks #writing advice #writblr #fanfiction #meg rambles

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sinkix · 4 years

Text

~ Haikyuu!! Boys baking with reader - Ft. Ushijima, Tendou, Oikawa, Hinata & Nishinoya ~

YO! SO UHHHH... I’M BACK??? I GUESS?? MAYBE??? After a little break I had this in my drafts for a while and realllyyy wanted to complete it since it’s such a cute concept. Honestly at this point my posting frequencies are so sporadic and random pls forgive me lmao.

@deathcab4daddy gave me the inspo to include Ushi and it was so funny coming up with ideas for him, he is no.1 country boi chef

Dude I’m listening to the Mario Kart soundtrack ‘Coconut Mall’ while I continue writing this someone save me. Like u think I’m joking. UR WRONG.

Ushijima:

The most straightforward yet idiotic baker you will ever come across.

Before you even THINK about performing step 1, he will read the entire fucking leaflet like it’s a Shakesperean monologue.

INGREDIENTS INCLUDED.

LIKE SIS I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW IT CONTAINS MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE THANK YOU.

I’m surprised he doesn’t count every single particle in the brownie mix.

You bought him a frilly cupcake-printed apron stating ‘best wife’ not expecting him to actually wear it

But since he’s secretly a big softie and treasures anything you buy he wears it proudly.

His stoic and dignified disposition is a comical contrast to the words printed on the front lmao.

Ushi best wifey bro.

The tight fit of the apron is pretty hot since it outlines every ridge of his pecs and tightly toned torso.

Gotta resist groping your mans while stirring the brownie batter.

tbh he’s more likely to grope you, he can’t resist that a$$.

And let’s face it he’s def an ass/thigh kinda guy.

Can and will try to casually initiate some form of unholy activities by lifting you up onto the kitchen counter, goading you to slowly lick the spoon and locking gazes before pulling you in for a deep, open-mouthed kiss to get a taste of the incomplete creation himself.

Ushi’s lips and brownie batter are a knock-out combo js.

Literally has the most serious face when he’s cracking the eggs into the bowl

The amount of concentration is equivalent to that of when he’s performing a serve at match-point.

HAS to set the temperature to the EXACT degree stated on the box

Everything is done by the book if you do one thing out of place he will pull you up on it lol.

“(Y/N) you were supposed to stir it for 5 minutes, not 7.”

When its done you feed him some and he can’t help but smile its so ADORBALE AHHH.

You end up eating most of it since Ushi doesn’t strike me as much of a chocolate/junk food lover.

STILL A VERY FUN BUT F R U S T R A T I N G EXPERIENCE.

Tendou:

The complete opposite of Ushi

Does everything wrong and the unconventional way.

Absolute disaster but doesn’t even sweat it since Tendou basically thrives in chaos and the disorderly.

To him instructions are purely equivocal, will read them for five seconds then toss them away.

Step aside Gordon Ramsey, Chef Tendou is here.

Despite doing everything the unorthodox way it still comes out amazing.

Like??? how???

Will cheekily place a dollop batter on your nose then lick it off fh3jkeffefds

Or if he’s feelin’ a lil freaky, he’ll swipe it off with his long ass finger and make you suck it clean, smirking at your submission as you coat his finger with your saliva.

oop-

Constantly cracking jokes and shitty food puns, pretending to drop the bowl to make you go into preemptive cardiac arrest before you can swat him with the spatula.

While you’re waiting for the timer to ping, Satori being the schemer he is will use this as an opportunity to pull some fuckery and tease you in any way he can.

u better be praying like bodhisattva TanaNoya rn because he is MERCILESS.

Suggestive comments, the brush of his fingers against your thigh, it’ll leave you A C H I N G in frustration by the end of it.

Unholy activities aside, once your baking session is completed you finish it off by feeding PHAT forkfuls of brownie to each other and giggling like dorks when it gets all over your mouth.

The jackass actually got a fingerful and SMEARED it over your cheek and forehead, drawing a little cross and snickering when the crumbs fall onto your nose.

Tendou was smart to draw a cross bc he gonna need jesus with the ATTACK you launch on him after that, which promptly leads to an all out food war in your kitchen that neither of you want to clean up after ward.

Don’t worry though it’s Tendou, he’ll somehow find a way to make such a mundane activity fun.

Nishinoya:

stirs WAY TOO VIOLENTLY

IT’S LIKE AN ELECTRIC WHISK ON OVERDRIVE.

IT WILL SPLATTER OVER THE COUNTER, CUPBOARDS AND EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR WITHIN A 1 MILE RADIUS.

You best believe he will try and eat some of the batter and you have to swat the spoon away from his mouth since he has NO REGARD FOR THE FACT HE COULD GET SALMONELLA.

Plus you know what Noya’s like once he starts eating something the whole thing will be gone in a matter of milliseconds.

He somehow managed to get Baking powder EVERYWHERE and even gave him self a little moustache with it.

The white substance kinda looked like something else but you didn’t really wanna say lmaooo.

could explain why he has so much energy all the time oK ILL STOP-

While you’re putting the mix on the tray he is SO extra and will do fancy lil swirls and over extend his arm like a swan to gracefully spread the batter

until he nearly fucking knocks it over.

During processing time since he is so excitable and impatient you best believe he’s gonna suggest a game of ping pong or something because my guy can well and truly never sit still.

ping pong match with the spatulas, kitchen island and a hard boiled egg.

Pls be careful he will rolling thunder that egg and pimp slap it so hard with the spatula it’ll damn near give you a concussion, not intentionally, but like protect your noggin. Wear a helmet.

For the remaining 5 minutes of baking time y’all just sit like kids in front of the oven and watching it rise like starved hyena’s observing it’s pray before demolishing it into sad particles of cocoa.

And lemme tell u, once the timer pings, that baking tray is free real estate for Noya. Half of your creation will be devoured before you can even put it on a plate and marvel at your handiwork.

He kicked your ass at spatula ping pong btw I’m sorry sweaty but short kings stay winning.

Oikawa:

Such a dramatic bitch like he got the whole she-bang going on.

Strapped with a pink apron, a whisk at his side and standing proudly with both hands on his hips.He is prepared like a greek gladiator going into battle.

You better believe he gonna make some snarky remarks and tease your method of doing things.

“Ah-ah-ahhh (Y/N)-chan you’re doing it all wrong, let me show you how a PRO does it.”

Proceeds to drop entire bowl on his foot and yelp like a little girl in pain.

Well and truly embarrassed with himself, you put a band-aid on his toe and he piped down after that.

Shattered big toe and mixing bowl aside, actually a really good baker??

He is a PRO at decorating, y’all decided on cupcakes since its literally his forte to make them look aesthetic and pretty.

You almost don’t wanna eat them from how good they look.

jk almost

You take it in turns breaking bits off and placing pieces into each others mouth with a loud “aaaaaahhh!”

Places a piece in your mouth, leans forward and locks lips with you in a soft, passionate kiss before pulling away and uttering the words “It tastes even better coming from your mouth ;)”

hnnnNNGGGGGGggGg.

You both whine and bicker over who cleans up after.

“You cleaaannnnn!”

“no Toru YOU clean!”

“but I made the cupcakes look pretty :(”

“not as pretty as you <3″

He did the cleaning after that.

Like just stroke his ego with some compliments and he’s whipped with a smug grin on his face for the next 30 minutes.

You decide to save the rest and bring them to his next practise.

Literally on the verge of tears when he sees you beaming and holding the platter of treats, Kiyotani mauls half of them in a matter of seconds to which Oiks gets salty over LMAO.

Hinata:

So excited oh my god he’s so precious please protect him I will CRY-

Has a little sunflower apron on and JBJKNDDDKDW IM SMILING JUST IMAGINING HIM FIDGETING IN EXCITEMENT OVER THE THOUGHT OF BAKING COOKIES.

Yes you decided on cookies bc he goes rabid for some choc chip biccies.

You have to guide him v carefully because of how easily confused and clumsy he is.

Cannot for the life of him crack the eggs without getting a quarter of the shell in the bowl so you have to do it instead.

Has a surprising amount of strength and forearm power bc holy shit boy can stir FAST.

Hums a little tune while he does it and bobs up and down with a wide grin on his face it’s so adorable, he has such a gentle singing voice I can’t-

Attempts different shapes with the batter when pouring it onto the tray but fails pretty miserably lol.

he tried ok???

Once they’re done he takes the tray out of the oven and since it was heavy, subconsciously propped it with his knee and nearly dropped the entire tray from the pain. (I’ve actually done this before when making chicken nuggets I do not advise being that brain dead)

Had to put some burn cream on the bbies knee :’((

When you decided to dig in, he handed you a cookie that looked like a crooked circle and said he tried to make that one a heart and insisted he feed it to you.

Blushed VERY hard at the moment of silence and intense eye contact while he fed it to you.

Nearly short circuited when his fingers brushed against your lips.

Moe moe x100000000000000000000000000000

You offer to do the cleaning after because he hurt himself and you didn’t wanna make him do any work, but he still offered to wipe the surfaces for you bc he’s an angel <333

literally just wanna marry him.

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shyvioletcat · 4 years

Note

could you maybe do a 'im worried about you' for lysaedion, love your writing!!

Surprise! A little Lysaedion drabble set in It Takes Two. First bit is post Aedion punching Rowan in the face and the second part just after Rowan says the dumb things to Arobynn at the book store.

It Take Two Masterlist

~~~~~

Lysandra was already home by the time Aedion walked through the door of their apartment. He could hear her in the kitchen, doing the dishes. From the way they were clanking in and out of the water Aedion could tell that she was upset. The thing was, so was he.

He had been stewing in his anger since he gave Rowan that coffee and bag of peas. Work provided very little distraction from his thoughts. Aelin was pregnant and she hadn’t told him, she always told him everything, and Lysandra had kept that secret for her as well. And there was the fact that Rowan had been the one to knock her up. He couldn't even fathom how the two of them had got into that situation because of how much they hated each. Aedion felt the betrayal from Aelin, the betrayal from Rowan, and he couldn’t stop seeing Aelin’s face when he’d asked what Rowan’s response had been. She had looked so small, so defeated, it damn near broke his heart.

At least Aedion got one good punch in.

Aedion walked further into the apartment calling out a terse hello. He knew he should not be angry at his girlfriend, he was trying to rein it in. But it had been a long day.

Lysandra turned when she heard him come into the little kitchen. “I half expected you to come home with a black eye to match the one you gave Rowan,” she said as she pulled the apron over her head and pulled off the rubber gloves.

Aedion shook his head. “I gave him a half-hearted apology if that helps. I don’t even understand how it happened. They hate each other.”

“Trust me when I say I don’t think you want to.” Lysandra’s bottom lips caught under her teeth as she thought of what to say next. Aedion just blew a heavy breath through his nose and waited.

“It was a dick move, you know. Going after Rowan like that,” Lysandra said. “I know Aelin is your cousin, but Rowan is your friend.”

“I heard what you said though,” Aedion said. “Have you changed your mind, you don’t think he deserved it?”

Lysandra crossed her arms. “I didn’t say that.”

There were a few beats of painful silence and then Aedion asked quietly, “Why didn’t you tell me about Aelin?”

“After what happened today you’re asking me that?” Lysandra said pointedly. “And it was because she asked me not to, and she’s… she’s not in a great place and I couldn’t betray her like that. Not now.”

Something about those words had something in Aedion’s chest aching and he had to turn away. He walked to the couch and heard Lysandra following him. “Aedion,” she said softly but he didn’t answer.

There was something else that had been plaguing his mind today. But this was about the two of them, him and Lysandra, about their plans.

“Aedion, talk to me please,” Lysandra said as she sat beside him, a hand on his knee. “I’m worried about you. I know how angry you must have been all day but please don’t shut me out now.”

Aedion took a minute to breath, focusing on each breath going in and out of his body. Lysandra sat beside him and waited – waited for him to be ready, providing that steadying force she had always been for him. It was why he had waited for her, why he decided she would be it for him. She completed him.

She squeezed his thigh, gently urging him to say what he was on his mind.

“Probably not the best time to have a baby, huh?” Aedion said, his tone defeated. He looked over at Lysandra and saw tears shining in her eyes.

She swallowed, her mouth dipping into a frown even as she fought it. “I think Aelin needs us right now.”

Just over a month ago Aedion had brought the subject up, and at first Lysandra had been hesitant. But a day or two later she had come back to him with an answer. She had said yes and kissed him, and kissed him again when he asked if she was sure. They decided then and there that they would start trying. But now…

“I’m so sorry, Lys,” Aedion said. “I don’t want Aelin to rule our lives but she won’t be able to do this alone. She’ll need us and I don’t want her to think she can’t rely on us completely.”

“I know,” Lysandra said as she wiped away a tear and Aedion lifted his hand to her cheek to wipe away the other.

“It’s not off the table completely, I promise,” Aedion said. “Just means we get more time to practice.”

Aedion smiled and Lysandra let out a thick laugh through her tears. When she moved into his lap he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her until the tears and sadness faded to something more bearable.

~~~~~

Lysandra felt like she was going to be sick. She sat in the toilet with the lid down watching the timer count away on her phone. Waiting for it to go off was too much and her stomach was in knots. She first noticed something was different when her breasts swelled and ached, like they always did before her period but this time it was worse. They were super sensitive, so much so she had taken to wearing some kind of support 27/7. Then she was a few days late, then she was a week late, and then she decided it was time to take a pregnancy test.

They had bought a heap in their excitement when they decided to start trying, but then those plans had been put on hold and they had just been sitting in the cupboard. But a few weeks ago they had drunk maybe a few too many glasses of wine with dinner and they hadn’t been particularly careful that night. Lysandra hadn’t expected anything to come from it, but here she was waiting for that timer to go off.

“Lys,” Aedion said, followed by a knock. “You right in there?”

There was no point in stalling so she opened the door and watched as Aedion’s face scrunched in confusion. But his face went slack when she pointed to what sat on the vanity bench.

“Oh,” he whispered.

This wasn’t great timing. Rowan had just demonstrated once again how much of an idiot he was when he went and said those things to Arobynn at the bookstore. Aelin was a mess, terrified he would walk away from her again and still so confused over when he’d said to her when he’d finally snapped after the twin’s birthday party. But still… Lysandra couldn’t help but hope a little bit.

Finally the timer went off but neither she or Aedion moved.

“I can’t look,” Lysandra finally said.

So it was Aedion who moved forward to see what the test said. “It’s positive, Lys.”

Every thought went out of Lysandra��s head. “What did you say?”

“It’s positive. You’re pregnant.”

Aedion turned around, a beaming smile on his face. Lysandra went up behind him, looked over his shoulder and saw the blue plus sign.

“I’m… pregnant?” She asked breathlessly.

“Looks like it,” Aedion said, turning and cupping her face with his hands, that ridiculous smile still on his face. “And I couldn’t be happier.”

“It’s unexpected,” Lysandra said as his thumbs brushed against her cheeks, easing her out of her shock.

“But are you happy about it?” Aedion asked.

Lysandra didn’t hesitate. “Gods, yes!”

Then Aedion was kissing her and the knots in her stomach untied. They were going to have a baby and despite the surprise of it Lysandra didn’t think she’d ever been more excited about anything in her life.

~~~~~

Thought I’d provide a little more insight after last chapter’s little announcement

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