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rosemariad · 8 months

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Supernatural Season 11 Part 1

So the consequence of last season's tomfoolery is the unleashing of the darkness, as per Death's explanation before he got sliced by Death (I'm still not over how easy it was to take down such an ancient OP character)

And the darkness is a chick?! Whaaaaaaaaaaa-

Billie starts out in season 11 - okay - I know she's an enemy but I'm a fan of hers. She's sooo beautiful!!!! I love her look!!!! She ain’t takin’ no shit from the Winchesters either. That is a woman I can get behind - sowwwwwwwwwwwwy lol.

Why does Cas have to get fucked up yet again?!?!?!?! Why did Rowena turn him in an attack dog, damn!

The darkness unleashed some sort of virus ala The Crazies - 'member that movie (both original and remake)

The baby we find at the beginning of the season becomes the vessel for the darkness - she grew up so fast lol. Poor baby tho and her family 🥺

Rowena really tried starting a new coven -XD the name was soooo corny Mega Coven, really?! 🤣

I'm glad the sick/crazed Cas stuff is over but its only a matter of time before something else goes wrong with him. It's like the only reason he's kept around cuz lord knows the showrunners don't care about Destiel 🙃

Meanwhile the darkness is out and about as a little girl who's eating a healthy dose of humans, then demons, then humans again, totally unimpressed by Crowley and his shit 🤣

We have to see Metatron again ugh!!! Can someone kill him already?!?!?!?!

He really thought Cas was afraid. Child please. He's angry and he has so many reasons to be, between getting cockblocked by Sam and others, cockteased by Dean, having to compete with Crowley and women for Dean's attention (though where are the women, or is it all about AmaraxDean this season?), getting hated on by Heaven, getting cursed by Rowena and fucked over by Metatron personally and more than once, of course duh!

Sam! Poor baby thought God was speaking to him but it was the devil all along. He wants out of the cage and needs Sam to do it cuz another consequence of the darkness fiasco is the cage weakened some. Shame we didn't get to see Michael or Adam 🙃 (it was a great opportunity to bring back the apocalypse stuff from season 5, but oh well, that's what fanfiction's for!)

So instead of Sam who stands up to this bully, Castiel ends up busting him out (Cas baby no!)

Dean thinks Cas is fine, Dean when is Cas ever fine?! He hasn't been fine since he started helping you stupid!!!!!!! I guess Dean says that cuz he needs Cas to be fine, but my God the powers of Dean's denial are so strong!!!!!

Why Cas, why would you give yourself over to the devil 😭 and he was so passive. He only intervened when Lucifer was choking the shit outta Sam and decided oh wait Sam can’t die Dean would hate me forever I must intercede smh.

I have to say the line “grim face of angelic constipation” made me chuckle XD

That episode was pointless though since the supposed hand of God was useless and those people met their fate anyway - shoutout to that crew and the Woman of Letter Delfine - they were heroes. A somber end having Dean sat on his lonesome at the dock.

Sam watchu mean Cas won’t come back willingly - and abandon his sweet Dean. Never! He’s only doing it for Dean in the first place!!! Cuz the only alternative was for the devil go into Sam and there was no way they were gonna let that happen - though it would have made for an interesting season!

Another guy Dean goes Gaga over tho I’m not sure if its him being a fan or something else 😉 lololol

So we meet Eileen this season - she was awesome! She suffered no fools and took no prisoners lol. Almost killed Sam fucking Winchester. Talk about a meet-cute gone brutal 😂

It was nice to see Bobby and Rufus again - especially at Rufus’ savage top form, busting Bobby and everyone else’s balls 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 when he demanded Bobby tell the truth instead of whatever story he was gonna say to seem cool 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When he sees that family together at the end 😭 what a softie.

Dean got to see Bobby again…awwwww but it turns out this episode (at least the parts that Bobby and Rufus were in) was during season 4 - and Dean was a prissy bitch! So rude, entitled and ungrateful. Bobby shouldn’t have had to put up with that!

Sam got shot but I wasn’t worried! We got 4 more seasons, he ain't going anywhere. But Dean was losing his mind again…Jesus honey there’s more to life than your baby bro! I mean I understand - he raised this boy, invested so much but this shit ain't healthy. He committed suicide to talk to a reaper who’s told him in no uncertain terms that if the Winchesters die she’s gonna keep them that way. Did he really think she’d be willing to cut him a deal? Hell nah. He’s lucky that doctor was good at his job! And that Sam swooped in and saved the day, survivor that he is!

That poor woman at the end though, so devoid of hope, just like Dean will be in a few seasons (yeah I know about that shit. I’ll address it when I finally watch those episodes).

Speaking of Dean losing hope - he works with Crowley & Rowena to try to save Cas. Why does Sam keep saying Cas ain’t coming back - you don’t know - we’re not in season 15 - lemme stop

The way Dean kept calling out to Cas - poor bby. Of course the devil mocked him, what a dick!

Crowley tried to help too, got beat up by the devil (again) for his trouble. Cas c’mon stand up to the son of a bitch!

Amara came busting in like the baddest of bitches - didn’t break a sweat when the devil attacked her.

Cesar & Jesse - ugh I loved them!!!!! We need more Latinos in this show!!! They won’t be back since they apparently retired but good for them! They got the fuck out!

Lol when Dean assumed they were brothers - they look nothing alike Dean 🤣🤣🤣🤣

When Dean asked what it was like - to tough, swole men together like that - why you curious Dean 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

They were really trying to recruit them - I was like oh heeeeell noooooo don’t wrap them up in your shit they’re too innocent sexy bears you leave them alone!!!!! We don’t need to befriend more people to have them die for the Winchesters enough is enough. I’m still not over Kevin. That poor bby.

Part 2 incoming!

#supernatural #supernatural season 11 #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #destiel #sam winchester #kevin tran #chuck shurley #metatron #crowley #rowena macleod #casifer #Cesar and Jesse #Billie supernatural #Amara supernatural

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infernalrevenge · 3 years

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HCs abt an S/O of Lady D's who's struggling to get her daughters' approval? It's rarely addressed in fanfics, but y'all.. becoming a stepparent is a hard and frustrating journey, especially when mama and kids have such tight bonds. Makes small wins feel so rewarding, tho! What are your thoughts on that? How would D react, how would she help? (or make it harder, in true possessive Mother Hen™ fashion..) Which flybaby would warm up to S/O first? How would S/O try to win each of them over, etc..?

Oooh this is a really cool thought! Not that I have a lot of experience with stepparents but yeah, changes and adjustments in family dynamics like that can't be easy. I think I'm gonna have some fun with this.

When the Dimitrescu sisters found out you were the human dating their mother, at first they were mostly indifferent. Not like it's their business as to who Alcina gets it on with anyway (and they could also be thinking you would quickly turn to lunch if you fuck up badly enough, in which case they would gladly join her in the feast.)

They might quip with you sometimes, but for the most part, you're left alone.

But when they realized you were here to stay and might become a parental figure in their life... oh boy.

You're telling them they have to answer to you now? A mere mortal? On what grounds? Just because you have sex with their mom? They think the fuck not.

Hell, they're individually old enough to be your parent, so truly... what the fuck?

(Part of that fear of you joining the family may come from thinking that Alcina now has someone else to preoccupy herself with, so there's less time for them. Perhaps even less love for them. They can't have that. That can't happen.)

As for your partner's reaction? She's kind of torn. On one hand, she understands how her daughters feel about having a new family member suddenly join the dynamic -- someone they barely know relative to each other. You could have been around for a few years, but they've been all together for more than half a century, and they're doing just fine.

On the other, she wants to see you all getting along. She loves you and wants you to be a part of her life, and of course she also loves her daughters with all her heart.

She's not really sure what to do, so she kind of... ends up not doing anything.

But she is curious as to what you'll do about the situation though, since the sisters would hardly make it a secret that your presence is an annoyance at best, completely unwanted and unwelcome at worst.

Bela, surprisingly, might be the hardest to win over. You would think that, as the eldest, she should be the one to lead by example and be the mature one. Plus, she's always looking for her mother's approval, so approving of you may get her on her good side (and yours.)

But she's very opposed to change, especially one that affects her life this much when it's not her choice.

She lets Cassandra and Daniela get away with pulling harmless pranks on you to get under your skin, or make Alcina mad at you. She pretends to not have a direct hand in them and would passive-aggressively remark on whatever they did.

Oh, your clothes were misplaced and looking for new ones made you late to a date with the Lady? "None of them were very nice anyway. This is doing you a favor."

You found dog poop under your bed and now you reek? "I don't smell that much of a difference."

Getting doused in sticky honey and molasses somehow? "At least Mother has a reason to think you're sweet now."

They would never do anything to hurt you, not unless they want to incur their mother's wrath or sadness, just... little things (hopefully enough to get you to leave.)

But luckily, if you're a patient and persistent person, they (ever so) slowly warm up to you in different ways.

The most important thing to remember is that they're different people despite having a lot of things in common, so your manner of approaching them will have to vary for each sister.

Daniela might be the easiest to win over, such a sociable little fly. She might try to be standoffish at first, but if you bring up a book series that she enjoys reading as a topic for conversation, she can and will keep you there for hours talking about the characters, dissecting certain themes, and explaining her theories of the inner machinations of the plot.

If you actually start reading it upon her recommendation, she becomes ecstatic. Finally, someone other than her sisters she can explain these theories to! And someone who can actually relate and add on to them!

Eventually, she'll come to realize that having you around won't mean the end of their family. It just means they're getting more out of it -- a new member to love, and one who loves them.

Cassandra might be a little territorial about her current interests, so you'll have to take on a different approach.

Maybe try introducing her to something that peripherally matches what she likes now. She seems to really like hunting and torture to take her aggression out on, so uh... maybe try martial arts?

It would be more fun if it was something the both of you were new at, so you could bond over attempting to do things together. Nothing says "I want to get to know my stepdaughter better" like letting her throw you to the mat and laugh in excitement when she gets the technique right.

She is still very stubborn though, so she may take a while to fully convince. Even when it seems like you're on her good side, there's a tiny bit of denial. But she'll come around, no matter how reluctant.

Finally, as for Bela, she just needs to see that, though most of her family now genuinely likes you, that it doesn't have to change a thing about how they feel about her either. They're not going to abandon her or anything that drastic just because someone new has entered their lives.

Seeing her sisters approve of you can be jarring, no matter how long or gradual the process may have been. Like, weren't they switching out your shampoos and putting snakes in your closet last year? Why is everyone buddy buddy now? (Why are they leaving her behind?)

She'll start to act bitter toward everyone, feeling like she's been betrayed and shut herself away. She doesn't even want to see her own mother anymore.

But eventually, you have to talk to Alcina to do something too -- she could see you were making an effort, but she's not making it clear to her daughters what exactly was happening. She should be the first to approach Bela regarding the subject, along with her sisters.

You may need some time alone with her as well to drive the point home too. Having more people in the family doesn't mean less love, but in fact it means more, because now you're there to care for her too.

And she has to admit that seeing her mother care for you, having her sisters like you, it didn't really feel like they were any different towards her. They were more insistent in getting her to spend time with you, sure, but other than that... things were mostly the same.

The acceptance may be begrudging at first, but when she actually gets used to this new norm, she'll come around.

If you want to bond with her, you can teach her something. She likes learning new things, and she'll start to warm up to you more if she has reason to keep going to you to get this new information.

It can be anything -- music, arts, sports, cooking, you name it. Even introducing her to new technology will help get on her good side. You'd be surprised at how quickly she gets into it that you start to wonder why it was so hard to get her to like you in the first place.

Also, just talk to her. As a person, as your new daughter, whatever. Just acknowledge her and be honest. She appreciates the little things.

All in all, it's going to be tough. The journey will have its ups and downs, and not everything is going to be smooth sailing. Communication is key, though, as with any sort of relationship. Let the girls know you care for them just as much as you love and care for their mother. In a way, that's all they really want.

But they're not calling you "mom/dad/parental unit". First name basis with a stepparent (affectionate) all the way.

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ennoshawty · 3 years

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HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu captains #daichi sawamura #oikawa toru #kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #ushijima wakatoshi #bokuto kotaro #x reader

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coffeeflavoredcookies · 3 years

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Krbk Multichap Fic Recs

The order doesn’t particularly matter. The ratings also vary, so be careful and make sure you read the tags to know what you’re getting into! Also, they are all completed.

Anyway, here we go !

Tonight we’re the sea by idratherhaveyou. (Artist Bakugo, Kirishima moves to the seaside! It’s so damn good! The writing, the characterization, the feelings, the story! The Everything!!!)

But I’ve got an angry heart by newamsterdam. (Dormmates, College AU! Baku wants peace, Kiri wants to make friends! Very good! A little (lot) angsty, but like honestly, VERY good)

Slow it down, go easy on me by newamsterdam. (Time travel AU that’s got everything to make it perfect. A marvel <3)

The fool’s rush by Chonideno. (Future AU! Roommates. Mutual pinning. Lots and LOTS of pinning. So fluffy you’ll cry)

Something just like this by imatrisarahtops. (such a feel good fic, following the themes of the krbk week 2018. Pinning, comfort and getting together)

The best part is falling by Claus_Lucas. ( (Bakugo’s had enough of Kiri not understanding his own feelings. It’s hilarious and cute)

You give me a quite mind and I’ll love you by Claus_Lucas. (the boys do lot of figuring out after the rescue, it’s good)

When you’re in love with your best friend by ellieb3an. (5+1! Bakugo realizes he’s in love with Kiri! It’s real good)

When you’re in love with your boyfriend by ellieb3an. (the long distance relationship that’s gonna melt your heart (the sequel) )

Coming up for air by ellieb3an. (Kiri learns to cope with the trauma after getting stuck in his own quirk, it’s very emotional and so so good! A++ caring baku! It’s amazing!)

Easy now, with my heart (careful now, with my heart) by multiclassmaps. (or how their classmates figure out they’re dating, very good!)

All I knew I could ever need was in front of me by multiclassmaps. (Married pro hero with a dog, perfectly fluffy and warm)

So take my hand, you life will be brighter by multiclassmaps. (hockey AU, amazing! Absolutely amazing! A must read! And reread!)

your heart's a mess, you won't admit to it; I'm desperate to connect- and you- you can't live like this by multiclassmaps. (unrequited love that’s not actually unrequited. So? Damn? Good?)

To the tune of Bakushima series (mostly canon compliant. How Baku and Kiri went from being Friends With Benefits to properly getting together. amazingly well written and just go read it!) (rating varies!!!)

Slow and steady series by Siij. (They get together. They figure things out. This is amazing, and the writing is great and the fluff!! Also, ratings vary)

Perihilion by tauontauff. (a blessing, a true blessing, soft, sweet, heart-melting. Christmas themed!!!)

One step closer by tuslee. (angsty, Bakugo gets in a car accident, his road to recovery is slow and difficult. Katsuki and Ochako friendship centric)

Burn like the sun by Kivea. (Firefighter AU! amazing Bakusquad interactions, I cried at times from how much I laughed! It’s great <3)

Crow’s feet by PotatoJesus. (Established relationship, future AU! really soft and sweet)

Heart stains on the carpet by cityboys. (bodyguard AU, the fake dating AU that started them all! cityboys is just amazing)

2AM by cityboys. (Bakugo goes back to his home town and is forced to work in his mother’s café. It’s cityboys, just read it)

Fucking feelings series by Equinurmae. (Hilarious, Baku and Deku friendship, Baku goes full gay panic and asks Deku for help)

I’ll save you myself by Obesessed_As_A_Coping_Mechanism. (very sweet and kinda gets hot at the end)

Just another sexuality crisis at midnight by PaperTrees. (I don’t know how to describe it without spoiling it, but it is AMAZING!)

Stuck in the blast zone series by Nickolefricle. (the interactions are AMAZING, and the little stories are really REALLY good)

Spring a season about love by Tears are salty. (kmjr and krbk and bkjr friendship. Very cute)

Today is not good so far by generic_handle. (Established relationship. Kiri invites Baku for night out with their friends but for some reason, it sets the blonde off. very funny)

2AM knows all secrets by Unbrekable_Red_Riot. (Baku has nightmares, Kiri helps. It’s REALLY good. Also, slight one-sided kmkr)

Kiss me you fool by Shizuumi151. (it’s a series of independent one-shots. Very sweet. The ratings vary)

Of fading Light and cooling space by SilentKnight. (Kirishima thinks baku is dead for 80% of this. Very painful. Very good)

Acceptance and denial by Poteto. (Kiri drags Baku into his attempt at coming out to his parents. It’s Very good!)

Friday I’m in love by mcgreys. (The one where Bakugo thinks Deku is in love with him and hilarity ensues)

Anyone can be a hero by RedBluePalatar. (Future fic. The one where a certain video forces kiri to give up hero life, until he meets Baku again a couple of years later. Very good!)

Nightmares aren’t explodable series by PurplePersnickety. (Or the one where Kiri is cranky. I can’t say more without spoiling but go read it it’s really good!!)

Everyone knows that cats are indepandant by PurplePersnickety. (the daemon AU where Kiri works in a coffee shop and Baku has a Lioness as a daemon! It’s so good!!)

Rosy by mr_todoroki. (the one where Baku steals Kiri’s first kiss and our cutie catches feelings!)

Red by mr_todoroki. (And they were roommates! Kiri is discovering things about himself and Baku does not like his new friend).

Sunchaser by Chonideno. (Denial of feeling?? Mutual pinning?? A lot of feelings? Like looking through a fogged glass? Very beautiful and poetic! An absolute must read! My heart still does weird things when I think about it!)

A heart swelled to bursting by eggstasy (established relationship. Lots of Bakuangst but also Baku growth. eggstasy writing a multichap, do you even need convincing, my dudes)

Cause the dark’s not taking prisoners tonight by imatrisarahtops (they’re both having nightmares and trying to help each other. Lost of angst but it’s so good)

This ain’t a fairy tale by alpha_hydra (kiri gets hit by a quirk that makes everyone fall in love with him. Baku is already in love. Smutty)

Moment of truth by Fanficismything. (the proposal AU. It’s really soft! You see it as Baku falls in love! It’s really good!)

Breath of the wild AU by Stylish_Racoon (as the title says. Bakugo is Link, Kirishima is Zelda and sometimes I wish I could wipe my memory just so I can experience it again)

Broken Bridges by DeathBelle (Kirishima comes back from aboard and they work together. Smutty)

Quote love unquote by newsamsterdam (it’s the fake dating celeberities AU we all want, it’s perfect, it’s a must read it’s everything)

Of Ghosts and other Inaccurate Things by chezka (Kirishima never made it to UA because he died and now he’s haunting Bakugo or so they thought. Listen, It’s really really good!)

The Magic Song by Zacksy (the cindrealla AU we all needed! A really sweet fic)

In the Kingdom On the Sea by deviance (Kirishima is a Kraken Merman (a REALY big one) and Bakugo is a pirate that’s madly in love with him)

Inevitable by Legendaerie (Pro-heroes, partners, Bakugo taking care of Kirishima and showing his love through that while Kirishima remains oblivious! It’s really good, like really insanely good with all the right fluffy feelings)

Ransom in Red by Shippeh (sort of cindrella AU that’s really good)

Sun Sets Red by Shippeh (College AU where kr and dk are roomies and Bakugo’s the hot not-boyfriend that came attached to Deku. It’s really good)

Heartbeat Thunder by Shippeh (ABO in UA where Kirishima is an Alpha that hates his secondary gender and is afraid to rut and Bakugo is an omega who relies too much on instincts and doesn’t believe feelings matter.

Built to Fall by bigstupidjellyfish (Post break-up pro hero krbks become partners and fight villains and mend their relationship and finally, FINALLY fuck! It’s very good )

there's a space here shaped like you by kingdoms (Fantasy Bakugo lands on Kirishima’s lap (figuratively) and Bakugo is jelly! Very good)

you can get what you want or you can just get old by hyperlight (Bakugo gets hit by a quirk that sends him to a future where he messed up everything and lost himself to become the number one (and still never managed it). Kirishima in this word is a really badass hero that doesn’t give too fucks about rankings! He’s super mature and harder but gosh I’m in love.)

half in and half out of the light by gangnamstiles (Kirishima gets discharged from the army, but he’s got a lot of scars left from his time there, Bakugo’s a rock throught it all, and so are their friends. They were a band before adulting, and now they’re tryna put it back together. It’s really emotional and good)

Worth a Thousand Words by awareoftheconcept (Kirishima thinks Bakugo is dating Camie and jealousy ensues but their friendship is so sweet it don’t really matter, plus they make it in the end. Did i say the way their friendship is portrayed is everything? They just REALLY love each other. I love this fic with my whole heart)

Out of the Slipstream by Ashii Black (ashiiblack) (and AU where th boys are professional cyclists and this Bakugo’s really hot and also they soft with some jelly Bakugo, very good. E rated)

Burden of Proof by kytrin, Mslead (it’s murder mystery with magic and romance and a great relationship development! It’s really really good! Mind the rating tho!)

In the Dark of the Night by arxaris (Katsuki’s the emperor of rome and Kirishima’s a Gladiator that catches his eyes. It’s a sort of fwb that evolves into something more because these boys can’t resist each other. It’s sweet and hot, very good all around.)

From Fire and Ashes, Flourishing by Milligramme (Bakugo’s a volcano god and kirishima’s the priest that gets chosen to «worship» him. They fall in love, it’s very good)

nuclear seasons by qactus (The lifeguard AU we don’t deserve. It’s a slow burn and it’s so damn good. Rated E).

the great wide somewhere by amaranthinecanicular (Beauty and the beast AU. References to the fantasy AU from the popularity polls that are integrated to the story so well. It’s just. Very very good)

Just a Few More Minutes in Heaven by loki_dokey (Bakugo is in love with Kirishima, everyone knows it except for him (including Kirishima) It’s very VERY good)

Eyes Like Dragon-Fire by Dragonire (and excellent fantasy AU slowburn. The world building is amazing and the developement of their relationship is great. It’s really good!!) Rated M

CALYPSO by gummyconcrete (No quirk AU, where they try to figure out their feelings in the few months they’ve left before graduation. Lots of feelings)

Bakugo’s Diary by Gyashi (It’s a sweet little story told in drawn diary entries)

Freshly Ground Coffee by arxaris (Cute barista!Kirishima PH!Bakugo AU)

Demon Kirishima Loves His Human by deviance (A series of connected one shots that deal with Demon!Kirishima and Not so human!Bakugo. Very good)

#kiribaku #bakushima #krbk #fic recs #krbk fic recs #i'll update it as I go i guess #long post

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scnteria · 3 years

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( alex wolff, cis male, he/him, muse b ) oh snap! is that THEODORE “TEDDY” WELLS ? they work over at high volume where some of the other employees have labeled them as THE MISCREANT. that’s probably because they can be a bit ( affable ) but also pretty ( misguided ). they’re 22 and they’ve been living in woodstock for FOUR YEARS. it must be their shift because i totally hear RADIOHEAD blasting from the record store.

( @volumeupdates )

hi everyone !! phew i’m so hype to be here... hello... you can call me wren ! i’m in the est timezone and use she/her pronouns. a lil bit about me: i love making playlists and my silly little lattes every morning, i have two puppies at home that i love more than anything, and i’m currently watching ted lasso and falling in l*ve with jason sudeikis and no i do not think i named teddy after ted lasso but it might’ve been an unconscious thing idk

anyway, i’m going to try not to ramble too much about my boi teddy but you’ve been warned:

sweet boy theodore ! he mostly goes by teddy. i don’t think he minds being called theodore but he DOES hate the nickname ted. sorry to mr. sudeikis

he was born and raised in chicago but his father is from woodstock. he has some distant family here but growing up, it was teddy, his mom, dad, and older brother mccartney ( mick !! )

( alcoholism, hoarding disorder tw ) teddy’s older brother was like a refuge for him in a household that was pretty tough to live in. his mother is an extreme hoarder so teddy felt pretty trapped in his own home. on top of that, his father is a functioning alcoholic who had a tendency to pick fights when really wasted. ( end tw )

teddy shared a room with mick, so that was like their little escape from it all ! but mick left for college because he’s a Smart, Good Boy when teddy was fifteen ! so he took it super hard to be living alone in this environment

( depression tw ) naturally, at that age ( and with evident mental health issues running in the family ), teddy started to show signs of depression. in an attempt to alleviate that, his fam fulfilled a lifelong dream and adopted a lil border collie pup ! ( end tw )

he realized his home wasn’t suitable for him, his mental health, or his dog winnie. he saved up money by working odd jobs throughout high school and on his eighteenth birthday, he and his pup moved to woodstock.

his dog winnie is named after his celebrity crush, winona ryder ! he absolutely carries a polaroid photo of her in his wallet because truly that is his child and god bless you if you even mention dogs around him

he got the job at high volume four years ago so he’s been around for a bit ! jerry was actually really good friends with teddy’s father, so he’s known jerry pretty much his entire life.

( drug use and alcoholism tw ) teddy has a chronic intestinal disease that basically attacks his immune system and can be preeeetty painful ! it’s manageable ofc and although teddy would say: “kurt cobain had it too so it’s fine,” it still Sucks to deal with. he is on medication for it, though another prescription works wonders for pain too...... and that ‘prescription’ is just Weed. he smokes a lot lol and also likes to drink, both as a source of self-medication and just because ! ( end tw )

( violence and ptsd tw ) oh haha also he saw jerry get shot in an alley but i imagine he is currently going through the many phases of ptsd at this moment. very much trying to keep it together but in reality, he’s a ball of pure anxiety and could crack at any given moment. definitely going through some bouts of denial and doubt ? jerry is not only his boss but he’s a family friend and someone he kind of looked up to, so it’s safe to say he’s not Doing Well ( end tw )

ok now more about his CHARACTER:

teddy is a sweetheart. he’s got golden retriever tendencies, i’d say ! verrrry sociable, loves to be around people.

he’s pretty independent and self-sufficient for someone who makes dumb decisions and doesn’t vibe with being alone ! he has learned to look out for himself but at the same time, he’s one of those people that make you wonder how he got this far ??

overall, a pretty great friend to have. he’s a man of his word and basically likes to make people around him feel comfortable and happy !

kinda charming, an accidental flirt at times. like i don’t think he realizes when he’s flirting ? he’s a little oblivious and definitely does better with people who are direct with him. like if you’re dropping hints that you like him or need him to do something, he won’t pick up on it at all lol the boy is stuck in his own little world that has karma police playing on a constant loop

walking into a shift with him means you’ll either be: entertained, annoyed, distracted, or high lol

( drugs tw ) like he has shown up to work high before and probably has smoked outside during a slow shift i’m SORRY ( end tw )

messy, messy boy makes questionable decisions because he doesn’t quite think them through. he’s SO responsible with his dog, but himself ? a hot mess

perhaps he’s not ... wise when it comes to money... i’ll leave it at that for now :)

perpetually running late and rambles a good amount

weak-willed and self-destructive ! he’s easily swayed to do pretty much anything bc he’s kind of a happy-go-lucky kind of dude. pretty much does Not say no to plans and maybe he pushes his alcohol tolerance from time to time

CONNECTION ideas !!

he moved to woodstock four years ago and i wanna say he lives alone but tbh a roommate would be Cost Effective ( must like dogs tho )

that being said, if your character happened to grow up in chicago let’s do some childhood connections ! maybe an old friend, previous unrequited crush, etc.

pls give me a favorite coworker that just doesn’t get anything done when they’re working together

he absolutely will get on people’s nerves. he gets on MY nerves. so give me enemies of any sort lol

i don’t think he’s much of a relationship guy. i could see one longterm relationship in his past so an ex is a possibility !

a previous one-night stand is pretty accurate for him too, but i don’t see him thinking it’s weird or anything. i see him being pretty casual with hook-ups in general, so... do with that as you will

friends ! teddy is a talker and really likes to get to know people, so i can see him having friends of varying levels lol whether you’ve spoken twice but he’s like That’s My Guy ! or you regularly see him walking his dog or you just vibe at work... truly this man will talk to a wall. the possibilities are endless

a BEST friend ! i would very much like someone that teddy spews mostly everything to. he will indeed lay his life on the line for this person lol

party-goers, fellow druggies ! this is a scene teddy OFTEN dabbles in, whether you indulge yourself or provide. >:)

could definitely see him on the receiving end of a mom/dad/parent friend kind of relationship. like that john mulaney quote GET SOME REST, TALL CHILD

okay i seriously need to stop this got so long please end me anyway hit me up here or on discord for all of the plots. i really like to get into the nitty gritty of plots so if that’s your jam, let’s make some toast, baby ! i’m SO excited to get things going !

#volumeintro #i added a few tws within this ok

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an-organized-confusion · 3 years

Text

The Sides As Defense Mechanisms

(Major grain of salt afforded here... because this is Freudian/Psychoanalytic stuff. Not meant to paint everyone as plain old jerks tho. I enjoy everyone, just thought it’d be an interesting exercise to acknowledge flaws and strengths... even if it mightn’t sound it. Focusing just on Vaillant’s categories here.)

Roman

Projection (pathological/immature) - Onto Patton for desired stuff, onto Remus for the undesired stuff... Onwards to Insecurity Land!

Acting out (immature) - he does share some impulsivity with Remus, ngl, but increasingly regretful/doubtful whenever this happens though...

Passive-aggressiveness (immature) - he can have sass rivaling that of Janus, lbr. (Tho at times I wanna say it’s oft stuff that reads as such but isn’t actually intended that way 100% of the time. See this man’s nickname game. Holy shit, I’m with so much of the fandom that it can be hard to come up with new ones, he’s a NATURAL.)

*Schizoid Fantasy (immature) - Given his realm, I could def see him retreating in that direction sometimes - thinking about the “Moving On” episodes here a bit. Though I think I see fan interps play with that in way more detail than canon. (*Smacks trunk/bonnet-* this bad boy can fit so much insecurity in it.)

Displacement (neurotic) - Maybe a touch of that at Remus, Janus, HIMSELF... instead of Patton. (None of whom really deserve painting in B&W/simplistic terms, imo. It’s just simpler to reach for, what can we say, human brains love them there heuristics/shortcuts.)

Reaction formation (neurotic) - he kind of embodies this, when juxtaposed against Remus in particular.

Repression (neurotic) - poor dude keeps getting mixed messages. orz

Altruism (mature) - He did kind of build his identity around this... still going to need to find a way to achieve this with healthy balance, though.

Humor (mature) - granted, there’s a bunch of self-deprecation to unpack there... but he is an entertaining as hell character.

SUBLIMATION (mature) - just by his function of creativity, he can use that to channel everything negative/unpleasant into an art/performance.

Remus

Distortion (pathological) - often exaggerating the worst stuff of human experience, in bringing them to light

Acting out (immature) - I mean, this IS Remus, we’re talking about. Champion of the Impulsive, Channeler of Intrusive Thoughts. No Think, Just Do. Pffft. (Okay, he demos a great deal of perceptiveness/intuition.... but he is still ALSO a jackass and no one is going to convince me otherwise here. Lots of love.)

Hypochondriasis (immature) - I mean health/mortality worries can be a HUGE font for intrusive thoughts...

Reaction formation (neurotic) - Roman’s reaction’s gotta be formed/reinforced against something. Newton’s third law and all that.

HUMOR (mature) - As warped as hell as it gets with him, he’s aaall about that.

Sublimation (mature) - because Creativity, too. But also, a good fertile ground for more BREADTH of sublime expressions.

Virgil

Distortion (pathological) - but is being tempered (see what was highlighted especially in “Negative Thinking”)

Acting out (immature) - Sometimes shit’s too overwhelming, not to. I get it.

Hypochondriasis (immature) - see the anxious underpinning to that mechanism

Intellectualization (neurotic) - I think he uses some of this tactic... though it’s with less... eloquence than in the case of Janus and Logan.

Anticipation (mature) - I mean, part of Anxiety’s whole purpose is to take into consideration discomfort. Again, there’s the need for temperance~

Humor (mature) - he’s hella sardonic about it, but he’s a sense of it for sure. (Like with Roman... might have a propensity to being a little too self-deprecating.)

Janus

Distortion (pathological) - maybe just a touch, skewing a bit close to a “dog eat dog“ mentality (but an important interlocutor to Patton)

Acting out (immature) - I think generally has more patience than the rest of the Dork Sides... but he can and will get snippy.

Passive-aggressiveness (immature) - given how much sarcasm and double-speak this guy uses...

Intellectualization (neurotic) - definitely puts on these kind of airs in his rhetoric.

Anticipation (mature) - in his case, he’s trying to highlight the discomfort of self-neglect for consideration.

Humor (mature) - I think he wants to appear Serious if it gets the point across... but man’s also hilarious too. I mean “can’t plant too many trees“ absolutely kills me.

Logan

Denial (pathological) - esp as it relates to his own emotionality...

Acting out (immature) - anger outbursts say what?

Dissociation (neurotic) - back on it with the emotional self-reflection shit. :,D

Intellectualization (neurotic) - HOHOHO. Yes. All of the yes.

Anticipation (mature) - accommodating for less charged and more actionable interpretations of how things can turn out.

Suppression (mature) - Logic’s capacity to allowing one to put aside but still acknowledge emotions/etc. to get though Stuff is useful as hell. (Obviously, on an as needed basis, not ALL of the time.)

Patton

Denial (pathological) - esp as it relates to some personal values, but is being broken down

Passive-aggressiveness (immature) - I think it was even less intentional - but he does have a bit of snark/sass (far more subtle than in Janus’s case) and might read as such w/ the “softened language“ stuff

Projection (immature) - treating Janus and Remus as too antithetical to him, at least on a knee-jerk basis. (I think he’s making some effort to get better at that - to Roman’s sad confusion.)

Reaction formation (neurotic) - like in the case of the twins, this is mostly with Janus.

Repression (neurotic) - I just. Yes. Patton, it’s okay to indulge in the neg valence end of the emotional pool, my dude. Aint bad to feel bad sometimes.

Altruism (mature) - definitely has the predilection for that, kind of inherently. Just gotta strike that healthy balance, similarly with Roman.

Humor (mature) - the. gawd. damn. puns. holy. shit.

#sanders sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #(writing a lot of roman angst def got me biased but... roman is a gd mess)#(i love all these dorks but hot damn - they're all hot messes)#(stuff not ascribed doesn't mean exclusively non-applicable tho)#(goin' by strongest pings to me~)#(but seriously man - 'too many trees' was an A+ line)

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soulwillower · 4 years

Text

crush culture • richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

requested: fic where Richie and reader have been best friends since kindergarten, and have always had feelings for eachother secretly, until one day richie gets a girlfriend (just to take his mind off her), and the reader gets jealous and distances herself from him? he obviously gets upset by this- and things go on from there? sorry if it’s too specific! love u!

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of death, fighting, mentions of an abusive relationship, intentionally pissing off richie, a bit of angst, richie is an oblivious idiot, but reader is MUCH more of an idiot, like dude lmao, but i think that’s it, unedited tho

this isn’t rly based off crush culture, but i took the title from conan gray’s song :)

[losers + reader are 18+ in this!!!]

3.8k words L O L :))

♡

you swear to god, you’re getting sick. that’s what this was, for sure.

it started about a month ago, when you started to get headaches and terrible hollow feelings in your stomach. it happened everywhere - in the line for coffee, in class, driving home from school, at the dinner table. but it got a hundred times worse at night and then seemed to triple in force every morning when you woke.

and it all came at you some time after richie announced he had a new girlfriend.

you were really sick the few days after that, enough that you stayed home from school and laid in bed, the pit in your stomach sinking. it didnt take long for you to realize how bad richie’s girlfriend was - she treated him like a dog, like he embarrassed her - and he didn’t even seem to mind. he just brushed off every offhand comment, rolled his eyes with a grin when she told him she didn’t want to see his friends or when she told him to stop talking.

he still seemed to like her, anyways. and that thought made your stomach convulse.

so then you had to distance yourself from richie because it hurt you to see him with her. it hurt you to see him with someone who didn’t treat him like the incredible person he was.

so yeah.

you say you’re sick, but you know that’s not really true. it’s easier than accepting reality at this point, though, so you spew this nonsense (to yourself, mostly) in order to justify ignoring your best friend of nearly a decade because christ, he is becoming unbearable.

like the other day, at lunch while you were all sitting in the courtyard. it was your first time eating with them again after almost a week and a half, as you’d been eating alone in your car recently to avoid richie. “rich, why’d you take off the nail polish?” bev asked, out of the blue, sounding disappointed as she grabbed his free hand and examined it.

he blew smoke out of his mouth slowly and you had forced yourself to look away, the sight of richie doing nearly anything these days being pretty dangerous for you. it also made you sigh a bit - you knew he only smoked at lunch now, since his girlfriend hated it.

“don’t want my paws to be prettier than y/n’s when we hold hands.” he had joked, wagging an eyebrow at you. you’d shook your head and looked to the ground in lew of a real response, just as you had been doing a lot recently.

you'd missed richie’s frown at your reaction, but you did catch his next statement as it was added on, “nah, actually it’s because the ol’ G-F didn’t like it. thought it looked too girly.”

you, stan, bev, and mike all stopped chewing to look at richie, in varying stages of bewilderment. you'd cleared your throat quickly but decided against speaking up just as richie’s phone started to ring. he’d answered it nearly immediately, the enthusiasm of which made you feel like you’re going to be sick again - because richie never answers your calls until the last possible minute.

god, jealousy is a fucking disease.

“hey, sugar.” he had purred suavely into the phone and for some reason, hearing him call someone else sugar had you abruptly rising, gathering your things and nearly running off to put as much distance between you and four-eyes as you possibly could, because you’re not sure how much more you could take.

after that, you were absolutely sure it was just pure denial on your part.

as far as you could tell, richie wasn't noticing too much. he still phoned your house every day, just to be met with your mother telling him you 'weren't available,' and then he'd call your own phone, which you'd let buzz itself into a dark hole on your bedside table while you stared at it solemnly, guilt heavy on your mind as he left voicemail after voicemail.

he doesn't deserve it, you think as you open the doors to the school library, backpack on your shoulders. but you can't help it. you're not his girlfriend, and you're not mature enough to accept that with any ounce of elegance so instead you just ignore him all together. at least you're self-aware, right? that ought to count for something.

you shake your head just as a voice catches your attention, “well look who decided to show up!”

richie's sitting at the usual study table in the very back corner of the library, a spot tucked away by rows upon rows of dusty books and an alcove of couches. bill sits at the head of the table, scribbling his chicken scratch handwriting onto graph paper, mike next to richie with a textbook spread out flat. across from mike is stan, writing out his statistics work.

all three of them wave at you before going back to their work, whereas richie just watches you expectantly. his feet are kicked up on the table, textbook balanced on his lap as he hovers on two leg chairs. his smile is as blinding as always, a dimple faint on his left cheek and full eyebrows raised in jest. his curls frame his face perfectly and you want to scream.

but you take your seat next to stan with a tight lipped smile, not really sure how to respond to richie. are you even allowed to be flirty with him like you used to? he still does it on the rare occasions when you do see each other - but that itself is the issue, you figure. his flirting is just a joke, a tiff from one friend to another. but you can't see him as just a friend, and that’s unfair to him.

so you stay quiet, which makes it infinitely more awkward.

richie clears his throat and you pull out your work with an awkward expression, the minutes slowly churning by in what has to be the quietest hangout with the Losers yet.

you feel the tension building in your body and in the air, and you're not sure what's wrong with you or why you have so much resentment towards richie in this moment, because he's not done one single thing to offend anyone in the last ten minutes.

then richie's phone rings suddenly and mike jumps a bit as he's startled out of the passage he's reading. you all look down to richie's screen, where his girlfriend's name blares up at you and all you can feel is white hot jealousy coursing through your body.

richie looks half way exhausted and annoyed at the call, which you find extremely odd and out of character, not to mention persistently frustrating.

as you all stare at the phone, the tension in the room stretches tighter and tighter, like a rubber band and you can't breathe -

"uh, why is she calling you?" mike asks, as if this was something that was forbidden or shocking in any way, and for some reason, that is finally it.

the rubber band snaps.

"how could you forget, mike? they're in love!" you say with mock enthusiasm.

bill shoots you an alarmed look that you probably should read into or at least consider for a moment, but instead you're looking directly at richie, as if challenging him.

he blinks at you and clenches his jaw, "she and i haven't really been... talking recently." richie says lightly, shooting a glance to mike.

“well then maybe you’re just not right for each other.” you quip, the blood boiling in your veins. richie's eyes snap to you and you see the fire behind them as he suddenly breaks.

“sorry, did i miss the divine intervention when god floated down on a cloud of marshmallows and deemed you expert in relationships?” he says abruptly, making your eyes widen at his outburst. he continues, “because last time i checked, you’re a bit of a failure in that department. so i don't need some jealous, disappearing-act wannabe criticizing my life when she's barely even in it.” he seethes. it’s near quiet in the library anyways, but his words seem to silence the entire town.

with a quick glance to your right, stan and bill sharing an uncomfortable look, and mike is staring down intently at his work with wide eyes.

you want to die.

does richie know? has he known this whole time that you're just deeply, painfully head over heels for him?

"i'm so sick of your bullshit. maybe you're jealous because you want what i had, but you’re being really fucking rude."

you nearly cry. or scream.

“criticism doesnt equal jealousy, okay?” you spit without thinking, immediately regretting even opening your mouth. you're so intent on covering for yourself, you don't even take into account the phrasing he'd used when referring to his girlfriend, instead fighting with richie in order to keep your secret from him.

this is not how you’d intended today to go. he stares at you, eyebrows furrowed in a way that almost makes you keel over in sadness, the guilt of the situation falling too heavily on your shoulders and crushing you.

it’s tranquilizing to see him like this - he's fuming, but he's also got bright, glistening eyes which you think may be filling up with tears.

“i didn’t really ask for your input, though.” he mutters, cheeks reddening as tears definitely well in his eyes behind his lenses. “you can’t just ignore me at your every whim just to come right back and tell me what's good for me.”

you blink, shaking your head quickly, deciding to back off. now is not the time to fight, especially when you know he’s right. you had no idea it was hurting him like this. "richie, i... i just wanted-" you gape at him, extremely embarrassed.

“-i don’t fucking care what you wanted, y/n.” richie says sharply, causing you to shut your mouth so quick your jaw clicks in the silence. clearly, even the other boys are perturbed by richie’s actions and everyone’s staring down in silence at their homework.

it’s quiet like that for a few minutes, the tension so thick that you’d need a jackhammer just to chip away at it. but stan rummages through his bag suddenly, pulling out two painkillers and dry swallowing them. you don't look at anyone else, your stomach hollow and your heart thumping so hard in your chest you think you may explode.

"d-do you have a headache?" bill asks, looking at stan with concern. the sudden voice causes you to perk up, head flowing with humiliation at the fight you and richie had just had in front of your friends.

“yeah, but it’s not that bad. i guess i’m used to it.” stan says, pen between his teeth.

“just because you’re used to something doesn’t make it any less unhealthy for you.” you say louder than necessary, your mouth suddenly deciding to speak without consulting your brain.

the glare of pure frustration that richie throws you pierces your lungs and suddenly makes you feel lightheaded.

your pettiness doesn’t go unresponsive, of course, and mike sighs into his hands, standing up to gather his things. "alright. i can't study when you two are like this. i'll see you guys later."

richie sighs quietly and bill and stan mumble good-bye's. the library goes back to quiet for maybe three more minutes, until you see stanley start to fidget like he usually does when he's anxious. and then you notice it after a few seconds, too.

richie won't stop tapping his foot on the desk.

for everyone's sake, you try to ignore it, because you know richie can't help his compulsions - especially when he's upset (which, your mind painfully reminds you, is all your fault).

but it's driving you crazy.

“-if you keep doing that i’ll throw you out that fucking window rich, i swear.” stan mutters not unkindly, his eyes rolling to meet richie with a concerned gaze as richie stares out the window.

you raise your eyebrows, “what’re you even looking at?” you ask, trying to mend a bit of the open, festering wound you’d created in you and richie’s friendship.

without looking at you, richie shrugs. “checking to see how high the drop is. may be worth it to have schnoz just toss me down. it would certainly do you a favor right? gettin ol’ trashmouth gone for good.”

what was he saying? you look at him, scandalized. stan and bill don’t even say anything about the offensive nickname as you gape at richie. "what the fuck?" is all your brilliant mind can think.

"what, you can dish it but you can't take it?" richie says sharply. he shakes his head, looking upset. "i'm tired of trying to be friends with a fucking brick wall."

then he's gathering his one notebook and swiftly exiting your alcove in the library in a wind of cigarettes and cologne.

you blink, his words sinking in and making you sigh shakily. your stomach feels hollow as you remember the expression of glee on his face when you'd walked into the library, and how completely different and broken he'd looked as he'd left. you think you're going to cry.

“every minute that you don't follow him digs yourself deeper into this grave, you know.” stan says, giving you a stern but encouraging look.

you let out a shaky sigh and scramble to grab your bag, tripping over your feet as you run out of the library, flying down the staircase faster than you've ever gone and making it to your lifelong best friend just as he reaches his car in the parking lot.

"-a brick wall?" you ask, out of breath. you see richie hold back an eye roll, his arms crossing over each other as he serves you a look of discomposure.

he shrugs helplessly, looking as if he's at his wit's end.

"what do you want me to say, y/n? you've been avoiding me for weeks. i know i'm annoying and obnoxious and whatever, but i'm not blind." he says, making you swallow as guilt pangs through your chest. you have been so fucking selfish, haven't you?

it hurts to hear him say that about himself.

he sniffles a bit, sounding choked up as he goes on, "i've had a rough couple of days - weeks, even. but every time i'm near, it's like you've had more than enough, and you just leave. am i that repulsive? why do you suddenly hate me?" he asks, looking desperate as his eyes rim red, filling with tears again.

“what did i do?” his voice cracks as he whispers the sentence and your heart breaks in two.

your own vision goes glassy as he continues, "-i've needed you, y/n/n. i'm lost, i'm seriously not okay and you just don't care at all."

you're stunned for a moment, mouth opening and closing silently as your mind races to rush something out, anything,because you aren't sure you can bear to see richie look at you like this for one more second. but your silence comes off wrong to richie, and tears slip out of his eyes.

“don’t you love me?” he asks, voice hoarse and cutting right through you, deeper than any knife ever could. "don't you want me to be happy?" he adds and you take a shaky breath, looking helplessly at him, where you're met with nothing but glassy eyes and tear trails. your heart is slamming in your chest, tears falling from your eyes and you can't breathe.

"a-are you?" you ask, trying to keep your tone even although it comes out just as vulnerable as you feel. “h-happy. with her?”

richie freezes at your words, mouth slightly open and you watch a single tear course over his high cheekbones and down to his bottom lip as it shakes faintly. you curse yourself for the longing to feel those very lips against yours.

"i was." he whispers, voice shaking as he rubs his face with his hand under his glasses, the moisture of his fallen tears clinging from his long dark lashes onto his slender, shaking fingers. "and then - and then i lost you. and y'know, i got my girlfriend so i could distract myself, but she made me feel like absolute shit all the time and so i went and broke up with her, but -" he hiccups through his tears and you blink, biting your lip as tears cascade down your cheek in wet trails.

they broke up?

he broke up with her, and he's going through this breakup and trying to better himself after she tore him down and you've just been ignoring him - he thinks you don't care about him, that you don't love him. you start to cry harder.

"-i thought she'd distract me from you. i-i'm sorry." he says, his voice muffled by his hands as they cover up his angelic face, his shoulders shaking as more tears fall. "i'm so sorry."he repeats.

you see double for a second, completely shocked by his words as the breath leaves your lungs. he tried to distract himself from you... and he’s so hurt because of what you did.

but finally, for the first time this whole damn day, you find the right words. "i-no, richie, i'm sorry, please - fuck." you break, letting out a sob as you rub your eyes furiously in search of any relief from the guilt ripping you in two. "i didn't mean to hurt you. i'm so sorry, i can't believe i did this, i didn't want to hurt you, i'm just so selfish." you babble, his sniffles making you open your eyes.

he looks so alone and so vulnerable as he hugs his arms around himself in search of comfort, tears still falling from his bright eyes and down his rosy cheeks.

he looks devastatingly beautiful in the golden sunlight of the afternoon, a breeze ruffling his curls lightly. "just please, i can't - i can't deal with you hating me. please, please, please."

he's pleading with you and you think you may be sick from the guilt and sadness that envelopes you, so you spring forward and wrap your arms tightly around him. the force of your body pushes him against the side of his car and the way he clings back to you like you're the last thing holding him to earth just makes you cry even harder.

"i don't hate you, richie. i love you, i love you too much." you say, your body shaking as he just holds you tighter against him. "i'm so sorry, i didn't mean any of it. you're right. i was just jealous... i'm so sorry. i was so jealous of her, i couldn't see you be with her." you mumble. "i'm so sorry."

richie pulls you back gently at your words, his eyes wide and wondering as you look at each other. "what?" he asks so innocently, his eyelashes wet and dark and his lips parted.

you can count the freckles on his nose and cheeks, you're so close. you can feel his shuddering breath against your face as he huffs in a breath. your hands hold onto his shoulders and you decide to fuck it, you just have to tell him how sorry you are, to explain yourself.

"richie, i'm in love with you. and - and when you and her got together, it hurt so much, and i didn't want to deal with the fact that i couldn't have you, so i just ignored you. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry." you say it quickly and in one breath, looking down at your shoes and how they point straight towards his.

"you're in... love with me?" he says weakly, sounding hopeful as you finally look back into his eyes guiltily.

you laugh wetly, "of course i am, richie. how could i not fall head over heels for everything about you?"

he tears up again at your words, but this time it's accompanied by a beautiful smile and a light, wet laugh. he shakes his head, his arms circling your waist tighter as he presses his forehead against yours. your butterflies tickle your stomach at your proximity.

"fuck, y/n. i can't believe i spend my time trying to get my mind off you." he says and your breath hitches a bit. "do you have any idea how long i've been in love with you?" he asks quietly, and you let out another small laugh out of shock, but it's wet and gleeful.

"i'm sorry." you whisper, your finger curling around a strand of the dark hair on his head. he shakes his head, your noses rubbing slightly. "it's okay, y/n. i love you so much. please let me forgive you." he says, pulling a smile out of you that you don't think anybody else ever could. you nod shortly, looking into his eyes as one last tear falls.

he kisses you tenderly then, taking your breath away.

richie fills up your every sense as he clings to you desperately, his lips salty from your combined tears and his arms strong. his tongue is gentle as it runs along your lips and enters your parted mouth, one of his hands sliding up to tilt your head up towards him. you're breathless because of him for the millionth time in your life and you decide kissing richie is the only thing you want to do forever.

you pull away slowly, and as you lean back he presses a chaste second kiss to your lips, causing you to grin.

you barely make eye contact as you pull apart and then you greedily pull him back to you, his lips finding yours yet again with a sweet, loving laugh.

"i love you too, rich." you mumble against his lips. he sighs almost dreamily as you pull back, biting your lip and laughing when he opens the passenger door, gesturing to it with a shy grin.

"now can i please buy you a burger?" he asks, almost bashfully, and your heart does somersaults. you nod and kiss him again, his hand falling to the small of your back, palm wide and fingers lower than you'd expected. he pulls away and his grin is loving, his eyes hooded in pride as you caress his cheek softly before you slide into the car seat.

he holds your hand the whole night and refuses to let go until you slip through your front door at near midnight, blushes on both of your cheeks and lips kiss-bruised.

the butterflies you feel as you fall asleep with a grin on your face are the exact same ones richie feels as his head finally hits the pillow, a giddy smile on his own face as he smiles to himself in the dark halfway across town.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @simplesammyx@brxken-heartsclub @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @leighjaenikhowell @cowbellies @deepestofwaters

#richie tozier x reader #requests #losers x reader #losers club x reader #bill denbrough x reader #mike hanlon x reader #ben hanscom x reader #beverly marsh x reader #eddie kaspbrak x reader #stanley uris x reader

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lactosefreevanillayoghurt · 3 years

Text

In Which Chess Absolutely Definitely Does Not Look Like A Dog

I wrote a thing!! It was inspired by a tiny hc from @alltheworldsapaige and here??? it is??? (1424 words)

Katherine™ sent you a photo.

Katherine™: this dog looks like you

Chess looked down at her phone from where it buzzed beside her laptop. She raised an eyebrow and instinctively typed out a response.

uno: What the fuck.

And then she looked at the image. She blinked, got up off her bed, walked over to her mirror and stared at herself. In what she would later call a 'moment of weakness', she raised the dog picture to show next to her face. Her phone buzzed again.

Katherine™: you haven't denied it tho

uno: Kate, I do not look like that fucking dog what the hell

uno: There. That's my denial.

Katherine™ sent you a photo.

Katherine™: yea but you look more like the dog than i do

Chess looked in disbelief at the most recent picture. It was Kate, grinning at the camera, beanie pulled low over their face and looking very much like a little shit. She shook her head.

uno: Just because I look more like the dog than you do, does not mean that either of us actually look like the dog

Katherine™: ...

Katherine™: whatever

Chess had thought that the dog picture was a one-off. But no. Gradually, more and more pictures clogged up her phone storage, until a minimum of one dog picture was sent a day. After the first few weeks, she began to wonder where all these dogs came from.

"I just find them and then take a picture." Kate shrugged nonchalantly.

"....So essentially these are random dogs you see on the street?"

"Yep!"

"Do the owners know you're taking a picture of their dog?"

Kate stopped picking at her nail varnish to look mildly sheepish, "Well... No...."

"Kate!"

"What?! I've only gotten shouted at once!"

"Oh my god." Chess slung an arm around her friend's shoulders, leaning her weight on them. "I can't believe you."

"Yeah, cool, love you too."

Chess found out that Kate was in hospital not from her friend themselves, but from the Tigers group chat.

Cairo: hi @uno idk if you know but kate's been taken to hospital she fell at practice

Chess was out of the door in minutes. She longer cared about her own exhaustion from a day of Olympics press, instead running on fear-fuelled adrenaline. The ride to the hospital was so easy it felt almost surreal and she found herself sweet-talking a nurse into letting her into the ward before she'd properly registered the situation. Her mind ran on overdrive, pictures of Kate hooked up to multitudes of machines or pale and upset, stuck to a hospital bed creating a silent movie behind her eyelids. What she was greeted with wasn't quite so soap opera-esque as she'd imagined but still broke her heart nonetheless. Kate was curled in a ball, the wrist in plaster resting gingerly beside them, eyes shut tight. Chess approached quietly, smiling when Kate opened her eyes at the footsteps.

"Checkers!" Kate's voice was quiet and sleepy. The other girl laughed at the thought of big tough angry Kate now soft from the pain medication.

"Hello Katherine." Chess sat beside her on the bed, "What the hell did you do this time?"

Kate leaned into Chess' hip, still cradling the broken wrist. "See, I don't even know. I just fell and then fucking Annleigh was calling a fucking ambulance."

Chess rubbed their back, frowning, "Why haven't you been released yet? Surely they should just send you home after setting your wrist?"

"Mmmff." Kate wriggled around for a bit and then spoke up again, their voice muffled by the duvet. "Apparently I went into shock. They want to keep me here for "observation". Prob'ly so I don't, like, have a heart attack or something."

"Jesus."

She watched as Kate flopped onto her back, squeezing their eyes shut again. After only a few seconds, she sat up abruptly, eyes wide and panicked. "No!"

Chess went back to being on high alert - at this rate she'd be the one having the heart attack. "What? Are you okay? Kitkat, what happened?"

"I didn't get to send you your dog picture!!" Kate's voice was distraught, their eyes teary.

Chess looked at her. Kate looked back. Then she began to laugh. Kate looked mildly offended. "Kate. You-" Laughter cut her off and the teen in question dug an elbow into her side. "You broke your wrist and all you care about is my dog picture?! You don't even like dogs!"

"Yeah, but you do!!"

Chess snorted. "I'm allergic, Kate, I don't like them that much."

Kate looked baffled and blinked up at her. "Oh." They began to laugh too, the hysteria increased by the looks sent by other members of the ward. "Not gonna stop sending them though."

"Okay, Kitkat, you do you, boo."

Katherine™ sent you a photo.

Katherine™: if we got a dog it would look like this

uno: I thought you didn't like dogs

Katherine™: i don't

Katherine™: but look at its face

uno: That dog looks like Annleigh

Katherine™: annleigh can't look like a dog she's a horse girl

uno: You make no sense

Katherine™: agree with me tho our dog would look like this

Katherine™: it's a big dog

uno: .....Is that it.

Katherine™: ye

uno: Kate, that's a great dane, I don't think you'd be able to see over it

Katherine™: why am i still friends with you when all you do is insult my height

uno: Awww but it's such a fun way to spend my time!!!!!

Katherine™: you're never getting a dog photo again

That was a lie. In fact, it was such an intense lie, that Kate sent two dog photos the next day. Chess only laughed and patted them on the head, if only to accentuate the height difference.

uno sent you a photo.

uno: Woof.

Katherine™: hOW dAre you

Katherine™: this is MY thing and you come and steal it??????

Katherine™: blocked.

Katherine™: banished.

Katherine™: disowned.

uno sent you a photo.

uno: Meow?

Katherine™: now this i can support

Katherine™: unblocked

Katherine™: hugged

Katherine™: loved

uno: Lovely.

It had been going so well. Training was as hard as ever but her coaches seemed pleased, and she was doing okay all in all. The Olympics were set for almost a month away and her days were spent either looping that one damn stunt, organising travel or attending yet another press interview. It was tiring, really, and even though she'd been given time off school for the competition, the days were still long and the hours draining. She hadn't been home in a week, with her base now elsewhere in the state, somewhere that her coach said would 'optimise training abilities'. Chess told herself that it would be over soon and that she was seventeen now and that she should be able to spend a week away from her friends, away from Kate, without feeling so lonely. God, how would she deal with college if she couldn't stand even a week away from that one friend?

Maybe she'd just been exhausted, or maybe her body had wished too hard for a way out, but she'd fallen. She felt her knee twist beneath her, pain shooting through her leg, and then she'd hit the floor. Within seconds there were people crowding around her, shouting for an ambulance, holding her with such care that she wanted to scream.

Her mind filled with static as she obeyed each command given and answered all the questions shot at her. One clear thought stayed present through the pain - if Kate was here, my knee would be fine. It was ridiculous to think that one person could heal what would later be discovered to be a horrifically serious injury, but in that moment, Chess was convinced that Kate could have fixed her broken world.

Instead, she shut her mouth and stared up at the ceiling. Fuck.

Surgery passed in a blur. Later, she wondered if this was how Kate had felt that one time they'd broken their wrist. Alone, cold, and hazy with pain.

Her phone buzzed by her side at the same moment that the door to her room opened.

Katherine™ sent you a photo.

Chess looked at the photo. It was a dog, one leg in a tiny animal cast, the owner visible near the top of the image, a smile etched on their face.

Katherine™: this dog looks like you

She looked away from her phone and up at the figure who'd entered the room. She smiled, finally, and Kate smiled back.

#might put this on ao3 might not welp let me know if you??? want it there????#also paige im:love about that lil headcannon ugh obsessed #oooh i get to like properly tag this!!#and stress myself out whilst doing it!!!#okay #we are the tigers #chess watt #kate watt #checkate #hospitals tw #injury tw #my writing #kate dalton #chess belmont #chess x kate #i think that's it #amazing well done me im so proud of myself #ellie writes sometimes

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scatterpatter · 3 years

Note

Corren - 1 through 100 - You did this to yourself.

FUCK YOU *UN-IRONICS YOUR ASK*

UNDER THE FUCKING CUT

1. What do they smell like?

Bad. Do you think their party is able to regularly take showers? I thinketh the fuck not. ... Pine and old books when he can self care tho.

2. What is their voice like?

Listen I know Corren, being taller, would be more likely to have a deeper register but you'll tear "tenor Corren" out of my cold dead hands

3. What is their biggest motivator?

Spite.

4. What is their most embarrassing memory?

When he first met his BFF Alondra, he was so antisocial and good at ignoring people that she actually got the impression he might have been hard of hearing. She never let him live that down. (one day I'll finish this fic i promise)

5. How do they deal with/react to pain?

"I will keep all of my pain in here, and one day I'll die." ... Okay but listen he's squishy so he takes like one hit and is bloodied up. Someone get him a healer. Pls.

6. What do they like to wear?

He likes his cloak. Its weighty and soft(well. WAS soft. got a bit of wear and tear these days.) and like. Who doesnt love cloaks.

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?

Ohhhhh fuuuccck this one's tough. I might have to go with Torvid honestly. While the entire party has had a positive impact on him(and trust me I was this close to picking Alistair), Torvid's been more of the one to call him out on his bullshit and to, oh I don't know, talk about your emotions? Ever??? Yknow BEFORE they become too much to handle and he absolutely breaks down???

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

Alistair's cooking.

9. Describe the way that they sleep.

Good luck finding him NOT cuddled up with at least one dog. Tbh he just enjoys cuddles in general.

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?

FUCKIN. GIVE HIM A GOOD STEAK. THIS BOY IS MOSTLY CARNIVORISTIC.

11. What do they feel most insecure about?

As tempted as I am to say "His cooking", it's actually his singing.

12. How do they like to dress?

"Comfort over flashiness tbh. I gotta go ADVENTURING in whatever I wear after all."

"... Also don't you DARE perceive me as cishet."

13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?

Call him a genie because he will BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP.

14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?

Denial :D

15. What is their greatest achievement?

Shrike: Killing his dad

Me: NOOOOOO

EDIT: WAIT THIS WAS ANSWERED IN Q99 WHAT THE HECK

16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?

Somehow more of a dick than usual. Snappy and cranky and just. Mrehhh.

17. What are they like when they’re drunk?

Doesn't get drunk often, but when he does I imagine he's actually giggly and a little clingy. It's cute :)

18. What kind of music do they enjoy?

*Opens my Corren playlist* Oh yeah. It's either full edgy alt rock or indie alt "depressed millenial" tracks.

19. Are they right or left handed?

FFFuuhhhhck uhhhh well

Looking over my old art I can't seem to pick a dominant hand(I've even drawn him handling his sniper with either hand???????????) so like oops guess he's ambidextrous.

20. Fears?

The dark, the ocean, dying alone and forgotten, his friends losing their trust of him

21. Favorite kind of weather?

Rain!!!! Especially cool rain like what people often get in fall months.

22. Favorite color?

Indigo!!!

23. Do they collect anything?

Books :3

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?

Cold weather by far.

25. What is their eye color?

Electric blue!

26. What is their race/ethnicity?

Well his race is a homebrew race known as Marelienth. Uhhh ethnicity? Idk he's from a mountain town way up north *shrugs*

In human aus I imagine him as half-Mongolian half-Norwegian so ayee

27. Hair color?

Black!

28. Are they happy where they are currently?

No :D He loves adventuring with his party don't get me wrong but he still has a lot of trauma to unpack. ... Also he was just possibly broken up with soooo. :/

29. Are they a morning person?

NOPE.

30. Sunrise or sunset?

*motions to above question* Sunset.

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

More organized, actually!

32. Pet peeves?

*unravels a list. It's all shit the party has done. Mostly Alistair.*

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

HOOUSIDSJFK- HE- Y-YEAH HE SURE DOES

His amethyst pendant used to belong to his brother, Julian, and he gave it to Corren right before they were separated so you BET it's sentimental as shit and he wears it daily.

34. Least favorite food?

Mecha's usually a great cook but one time trolled him with some absurdly spicy curry he couldn't handle and he's never forgiven them.

35. Least favorite color?

Hmmm. Maybe... yellow?

36. Least favorite smell?

He spent a year with his party in a damp cave and no showers, so uh. I'll give you a guess.

37. When was the last time they cried?

Literally last night in our game's timeline :D Full breakdown and everything!

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?

Torvid :D He was there to comfort

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?

One time they were in combat and Corren took a few hits and was down to about 2hp or so. He had a temporary level thanks to Kieran, which boosted his HP a little bit. When he teleported them to a safe town, though, well... Torvid was waiting for them so that's cool. But uh. Yeah that temporary level wore off then and there, dropping Corn Cob to exactly 0hp and he just- flopped down face first in the snow and started dying then and there KJNDKLFNSLKN

40. Do they have any scars?

Do you want to talk about the scar over his eye from a fight he got in with his dad or like. The scars on his limbs from the time he was literally experimented on.

41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?

Undiagnosed+Untreated Anxiety, Depression, DPDR, PTSD, just to name a few

42. Do they have any bad habits?

Running away from his problems, definitely.

43. Why might someone dislike them?

He's a pretentious nerd. He can be a dick if he doesn't care about you.

44. Why might someone love them?

He's an adorable nerd! He's a hopeless romantic and oddly enough an optimist. He's passionate and driven too!

45. Do they believe in ghosts?

Well ghosts are like- a canon proven thing in his world sooo. Yeah.

46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?

His party. Well- most in his party.

47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?

Nethyl :)

48. Are they dating/married to anyone?

He's dating Nethyl and they're in a happy and healthy relationship :) *politely ignores canon*

49. Do they like surprises?

NO >:(

50. When is their birthday?

Heroya 5th! I think. I don't wanna check, assume it's this.

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

"You guys celebrate your watchdays?"

Jokes aside, he mainly just treats himself to a nice dinner and a new book or something :)

52. Do they have any family?

Two older siblings: Julian and Mila. His parents are Andreas and Fanya!

53. Are they close to their family?

... *Coughs*. He was close with his siblings, but Mila died and he hasn't seen Julian in 30 years. Was close with his dad but last time they saw each other, they fought and Corren might have killed him so. ... Yeah. :/

54. What is their MBTI type?

FUCK uh. I... N... T... J? INTJ. Sure.

55. What is their zodiac sign?

In Sekrezia: The eagle

In our world: Uhhh. Idk. Capricorn????

56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?

Uhhh. Ravenclaw??? I know almost nothing about HP :/

57. What D&D alignment are they?

THIS ONE'S EASY- lawful neutral!

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?

Used to have typical nightmares, nothing special. Nowadays though he often dreams of being underwater. Not drowning, though. It's... weird. He doesn't like those.

59. What are their views on death?

He's a necromancer lol.

Death is inevitable, though. It's a necessary part of life. Death is not an entire loss, though. One lives on in the memories others carry of them, in the love they hold in their hearts. Death is complicated, but that's okay.

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?

Alistair :)

61. When bored, how do they pass time?

Dog time :)

62. Do they enjoy being outside?

... Ehhhhhh?

63. Do they have an accent?

Technically??? It's an accent from where he's from but like. I just barely tweak my own voice when I rp him so? Damn Corren I'm sorry you've been cursed with east coast dialect.

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

"Damn who's the rich bastard here?" (cake is kinda a delicacy in their world- not like elites only but not NEARLY as common as it is here)

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?

Reassurance mode to whomever he's with. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm okay. Remember what I told you, death is a natural part of life, yeah? I don't have any regrets, I'm okay... Just. Thanks. For giving me a chance. Thank you. Thank you."

66. How do they feel about sex?

I SWEAR he's allosexual. I'm just bad at writing allosexuals.

67. What is their sexuality?

He doesn't really know how to pin it down, so he just calls himself "queer". Definitely not straight, that's all he knows.

68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?

AHAHA no. He's hella desensitized

69. Is there anything that they find really gross?

Skulking cyst. Look it up at your own volition. It's. NO.

70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?

It's 12:21 in the morning and I'm NOT about to scroll through a bunch of tv tropes just. just. NERD stereotype.

71. Do they enjoy helping people?

Yyyyes? Only really if it's the people he cares about.

72. Are they allergic to anything?

Bullshit.

73. Do they have a pet?

WINGTHARA!! HIS SKELE-DOG!!!

74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?

Oh yeah he's all bark and no bite. He usually just throws a little fit and/or yells.

75. How patient are they?

More than he should be :/

76. Are they good at cooking?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?

Oh yes he insults the others all the time. No particular favorite, he likes so spice it up.

78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?

Stim. Stim. Stim. His eyes get all sparkly and he. He.

79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?

He will do everything in his power to assure they won't ever have to deal with their fears alone- You afraid of spiders? It's his job to get the spiders from now on so you won't have to deal with them.

80. Are they trustworthy?

Oh yeah. He's like Rapunzel- doesn't break promises.

81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?

Oh yes he tries to hide it. And yes, he's awful at it.

82. Do they exercise regularly?

Yes and no? No like- exercise regimen, but the amount of travelling and fighting they do is just- a workout in and of itself

83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?

Yeah! He's cute and he knows it baybie!!!

84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?

He,,, he likes someone who's physically stong,,, Muscles are,,, aaaaa >///>

85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?

Someone he can nerd out with :)

86. Do they like sweet foods?

Impartial to it. He won't turn sweets away but he's not crazy about them either.

87. What is their age?

43, the equivalent of- I think someone in their mid 30s?

88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?

He's 6'8" :) Which is actually normal for his race

89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?

Sometimes! I like to think he has reading glasses or something like that.

90. Do they consider themselves attractive?

HE'S CUTE AND HE KNOWS IT.

91. What is their sense of humor like?

Julian tainted his sense of humor and now he finds the most dumb shit hilarious. Think very millenial/GenZ humor like "I wish I was Jared, 19"

92. What mood are they most often in?

"I don't get paid enough for this" or Fear.jpg

93. What kinds of things anger them?

People who don't keep their FUCKING WORD. Oh and like. Yknow. Half the shit his party does.

94. Outlook on life?

Again he's??? Oddly an optimist? In the "Things will get better and that is a fucking THREAT" way, but still optimist!

95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?

Talk about his family :) Or the fact that his boyfriend might want him dead :)

96. What is their greatest weakness?

He's squishy as fuck. He goes down easy.

97. What is their greatest strength?

He's extremely intelligent and great with magic and his sniper!

98. Something that they regret?

Not doing more to stop his brother when he tried to resurrect their sister

99. Biggest accomplishment?

Either convincing an entire town his name is Torren or accidentally convincing some very OP people that he's secretly a dragon.

100. Create your own!

FUCK YOU I SPENT LIKE 2 HOURS ON THIS. NO PROOFREAD. IVE ALREADY DESIGNED CORREN'S AND NETHYL'S HYPOTHETICAL KIDS. ANYWAYS THEY'RE TWIN IRINAGA AND I'VE NAMED THEM AFTER THE DNDADS TWINS: THEIR NAMES ARE LARK AND SPARROW.

#LONG POST #LONG LONG POST #Corren #FUCK YOU DREWSKI <3

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neonbluewaves · 3 years

Note

spare neon lore? i love her

My brain shut down for a moment because I wasn’t sure what to say that I haven’t before, so I’m going to try to explain things I haven’t before, if I repeat myself forgive me :v

Careful what you wish for tho, here comes a longass rant, and I mean LONG

·Something I’ve barely talked about is Neon’s residences. She spent her childhood in Spain, in the Prieto Manor, big enough for her, her granparents and her uncles to live in, and still have much space to spare. The land around it is really large, with a field of almond trees that turn everything pink when in bloom, so part of their income comes from almond production. They also have different cultives, mainly to substain themselves, because her family isn’t exactly beloved, as in many think they’re better of dead. They also have vineyards with grapes specifically for wine production. Another way of income they have is with art. The manor has a room full of (mostly) spanish art pieces that they sell from time to time. Neon has sold pieces to the Thyssens, and donates some to certain collections when the museum opens later on.

Those are the things they’re known for, there’s rumors that they also deal with illegal stuff, but nobody can say for sure. Once they’ve graduated, Neon hires Jae to work under him. If you ask him, he says he’s the “financial administrator”, but he most definetly works as something else.

All their lands are surrounded by a thick forest charmed to work like a labyrinth. Only family members know the way, and there’s no chance of finding your way out to the other side by luck, the labyrinth will throw people away the way they came in. The forest is also full of stray dogs along with other average animals you’d find there. Neon has spent so much time in that forest she knows the whole place by memory, not just the way in and out, so it’s impossible for her to get lost.

On that note, Neon showed early signs of magic, many of which resulted in selfinjuries, like things exploding or catching fire when holding them or around her, as well as being capable of making dogs do her bidding unknowingly, thinking they just really liked her and could understand her.

Her second residence is in England, Yorkshire. Living in her old granparents house, in a small, mostly full of wizards town. A pretty big two story victorian house, Neon didn’t like it nearly as much as the manor, mainly because it has a small garden, unlike the big fields they have in Spain. Still she made it work for herself. Currently she lives with her uncles in their house, down the street, but she drops by from time to time keep the house clean.

· If it weren’t for her grandfather, they would all be spoiled brats. Coming from nothing, Gonzalo Prieto made sure he taught them humility amongst other things. Rocio was a pretty strict mother and it rubbed off on them, making them strict mothers in turn. Teaching to their kids was pretty serious, things like writing with good caligraphy, reading, maths, history and art, (no wonder Neon hates paying attention yet gets good grades, she’s used to studying). Carmen sent Nuria and Neon to get some work on summer after their third year as a way for them to learn what she and Luisa had learn working with their father. With him being gone, Carmen decided the best way for them to learn what they did was to just work, so Nuria ends up in a bakery, where she learns not to burn the whole kitchen, and she made the bakers cry a lot with whatever she ended up cooking until she got decent. Neon on the other hand went to a blacksmith and just like Nuria, at the beggining it was a complete disaster. After a month of just cleaning and watching she got to try making a knife blade and it ended horribly, and broken. The next year she managed to make an actual knife blade that could cut. By year 6 she’s managed to forge many swords, they’re not the finest work, but they’ll do for this one spell she’s been planing to invent for a while. She uses it for the first time against her uncle.

·There’s many projects unfinished saved away by family members, mainly because they died before they could get midway or start. Neon’s dad had blueprints of a house on the beach he wanted to make for the family to go on vacation. Neon also starts her own project when she’s 14/15, her own scholarship for orphan wizards. Romul was the one who encouraged her to go through with it, and joined in the idea, her scholarship centered in Hogwarts students, and his in Beauxbatons students.

·Here’s an essay I wrote some time ago about character soundtrack themes, behold:

When creating the themes for the Prieto members (Neon, Nuria, Laura, Argon and Narciso) they all need one intrument in common that ties them together, the organ. The organ is the one instrument all members learn to play from a young age and they have one in the Prieto manor. This one intrument plays along with the motif chosen for them. The Dies Irae. The Dies Irae is an hymn in latin about judgement death, and is used frequently in media to signify death, this makes reference to the fact that all the family has a reputation of commiting homicides and the fear we see in the main four that their uncle is going to kill them. All the titles make allusion to church and religion. Although they are not religious, the play comes from the fact it all seems to go beyond what they can choose, as if a bigger force decided their fates from the start, like a marciless god, and the darkness of the songs plays more like requiems than character themes.It also rounds up with their symbol, the church grimm.

Each of them get their own special instruments within their themes, so:

Neon's themes would be:

-Church: composed with organ, violin (another instrument she plays) and some percussion, it's sombre and dark and is usually played when Neon is alone, either figuring out mysteryes around her or in introspection scenes.

- Grimm's wail: composed with an organ, violins and double bass, and strong percussion like a bass drum, it's a reprise of church meant for action scenes like duels, specially the one's within storyline, like the fight with the ice knight or the dragon.

Nuria's themes would be:

-Shrine: composed with organ and some acoustic guitar. it's a simple theme made for scenes where Nuria (or other members) are seen contemplating choices, past memories, etc. It has a certain nostalgia to it

-Golden cross: composed of just organ and electric guitar, it's a more rebelious theme played for Nuria's duels and stronger moments of emotion, the change of guitar mimics her change from sweet and docile to determined and more "violent"

Laura's themes would be:

-Faith: composed with organ alone it's a soft sad melody that goes along her guilt of having lost Argon and her denial of involving herself with Neon and Nuria's life out of fear of screwing up and losing them too. It starts out quite depressing and builds up to a darker tone, but always quiet like her, as if the melody also tries to hold in rage.

-Sin: another reprise of the original (Faith), made with organ and heavy percussion, brass drums and kettleddrums, used specially in moments of high tension, the closer she is to finding her uncle, the longer we hear this piece.

Argon's themes would be:

-Finding Solace: We hear this song in flashbacks. Depending on who is remembering we hear one part or another. Made of organ and harp at the begining, it's the part that plays on Neon/Nuria/Laura's memories of him, sweet and naive, and organ and brass air instruments in later parts are used in memories by Duncan/Rakepick/anyone who dealt with him when he was manipulating other's/doing shady stuff, more sincere but dark.

-Broken Prayer: made with organ, violins and strong percussion in paralel's Neon's theme "Grimm's wail", also used on more intense scenes.

Narcisso has one theme:

-Lost religion: made up of organ alone and one drum set. Plays with both the Dies Irae and a couple of notes that remind of the theme song of The phantom of the opera, playing both with death and mystery as to what this character really wants and seeks.

The family has it's own theme, played only twice in full. Made up of organs, electric guitar, violins and percussion intruments plays like a violent, dark orchestra, with punctual moments of choral voices singing as if a church choir, giving it a more gloom feel. The two instances played in full are in the memory of Rocio losing all her siblings and father, and the start of the battle between Narciso and his nieces. Small parts may be heard in scenes where Neon and Narcisso clash, like the river incident or when he injures her leg before year 6.

There could be more themes, but these are the most important ones I thought about.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I hope this was enough for now

#mucho texto #anon ur in for a looong ride #idk if anyone will actually read this all #hogwarts mystery #hphm #neon welkin #Anonymous

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awkwardnoob · 3 years

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More Pokémon AU nonsense.

I’ve said it before in another post, but Therion doesn’t have any Pokémon to start, before finding a shiny, female Salandit with Alfyn. She was literally hours old when they found her, attacked and shunted from the nest for being shiny. Therion is her New Mama and that’s all she knows, completely unaware he was planning to sell her for like, an entire hour after finding her (but after that she’s his forever, even if he’s in denial for weeks/months).

Therion, for some reason, ends up with all babies. His second Pokémon is a Cubone. Alfyn befriended a female Marowak that knew how to crush berries with her bone and make medicine (She also knows strength and is a fucking power house, the two of them are kindred spirits), so when she wanted to go with him, he knew he had to catch her baby too, obviously. Except the Cubone had befriended Therion’s Salandit, and the Marowak instead encouraged her baby to be caught by Therion, because that’s what he really wanted (also since they were all clearly traveling together, she was aware there was no harm). If I wrote a fic Cubone probably wouldn’t evolve anytime within it (because it’s just too young), but it’s father was Alolan, and the travelers (or Cyrus, more accurately) realize Therion’s Cubone has that heritage because it learns a fire type move specific to Alolan Marowak. (Cubone in this au learn some more fire attacks if they’ll evolve into Alolan form, and there doesn’t need to be any everstone holding/regional breeding nonsense, having an alolan and a normal parent essentially gives the baby a 50/50 chance of being either. It is decided at birth/in the egg tho, so Therion’s Cubone is definitely evolving into the Alolan form) Both the Cubone and Salandit learn thief at some point.

Therion’s 3rd Pokémon is a Houndour. House Ravus’ guard dogs are Houndoom/Houndour, and Therion’s Houndour is a spunky little bastard pup who dreams of glorious battle. The Dog Trainer was having massive trouble getting him to behave, and said something about “breaking his spirit” in Therion’s vicinity. Therion kinda saw himself in the Houndour and snatched it up, fleeing the manor. (And Cordelia didn’t give one single fuck about it, because she has like 50 of them and this one clearly was not suited for the guard dog life anyway) The Salandit and Cubone are basically weak as shit, because Therion doesn’t need strong Pokémon, he’s done fine this long alone, so he’s content letting them be babies, but the Houndour loooooves battle and he will attack the other Traveler’s Pokémon for training so Therion ends up battling with him a lot to stop that behavior and as enrichment. One stronk puppy. It always starts its battles with howl, and knows bite and fire fang. Probably learns flame thrower or fire blast at one point from another Houndoom (not related to House Ravus, more likely related to something with Aeber)

Therion is naturally loved by fire types. At least once, Therion has come to House Ravus, only for all the Houndour to break formation and he gets the wind knocked out of him from being tackled by like 50 puppies who all want to snuggle.

Cordelia, like Therion, did not start out with a Pokémon. Unlike Therion, this is not because of massive trust issues, she just didn’t have one. Except when one of their Houndoom birthed a litter of pups, one was shiny, so the staff offered it to Cordelia to see if she wanted it first before training it as a regular guard dog. Cordelia’s Houndour and Therion’s are siblings from the same litter. Cordelia’s Houndour is sort of trained as a guard dog so it can guard her, but it’s more her companion/pet so she spoils and pampers it. Between one of Therion’s visits to the manor, his houndour replaces bite with crunch, and the two houndour end up wandering off together. Cordelia and Therion find them, Therion’s trying to tutor Cordelia’s into learning crunch, because Cordelia’s Houndour wants to protect her with all his might.

Heathcote has a Houndoom, but that’s more because most House Ravus staff have at least one of the line. (Seriously, there are so many Houndour/Houndoom around that mansion, they should just rename it to House Houndour). Heathcote normally walks around with an Indeedee. He has one other Pokémon, that was his partner as a thief. It’s fairly old and he doesn’t use it often in favor of letting it live the retired life, but it’s still very bad ass and it’s what outs him as a fellow thief to Therion. Probably a fire type, as fire types are considered Aeber’s type (Sealticge gets the dark types), but I’m not quite sure what it is.

The gods do have their own teams, and they are very strong and very weird. Their Pokémon are essentially immortal and can learn moves a regular one can not learn. (Aelfric’s Chandelure, which is used for the kindling, knows Sacred Fire, for example) But Aeber has several fire types in his possession. One is his own Salandit, that’s regular colored and male. Unlike Therion’s Salandit, that is extra smol because she’s baby, Aeber’s Salandit is extra chonky. Imagine a Totem Salandit. He’s also just fat, because Aeber overfeeds him. Aeber also has a Houndoom, who ends up battling/mentoring Therion’s Houndour at some point. Possibly several points. Since it’s Aeber, he probably does have stuff like Moltres. He’s a god, he can have as many legends as he wants. The gods aren’t entirely tied to their type, they can have anything they want (Aelfric is the god of normal types and Chandelure is neither), but they definitely have types they prefer. There is also more than 13 types, so there is some overlap. Aeber is also known as a patron of poison types, but so is Dohter, despite them being the healer. (Dohter’s main type is ice tho, while they share grass types with Alephan, who is the entire reason the concept of starters exist. The type connections tend to web)

Instead of 13 there is now 14 gods in the Pantheon, because Arceus is included. The story goes that the 13 gods took care of Arceus’ egg, and when it hatched, they all created the universe together.

#Octopath Traveler #Therion #Cordelia Ravus #Heathcote #Aeber

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draikaesehoch · 3 years

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Hi xD so since I have no clue about ice hockey feel free to tell me all about your favourite team or hockey player? ♥️

Thank you for sending this again (and fu to tumblr for swallowing my earlier reply).

Since I don’t really have a favorite player, I will just share my opinion and thoughts on the Oilers 😅 keep in mind I am still relatively new to hockey, so this is just me babbling. I didn’t fact check any of the stuff, so some of it could be bs… and honestly this whole thing is just me venting about this incredible team that most people don’t really take notice of.

I present you the Oilers:

They are one of the seven Canadian teams in the NHL. Based in Edmonton, Alberta. Usually part of the pacific division, due to Covid, they will form an all Canadian division for the 2021 season (I am still in denial about that though, it's going to be a mess and someone will cry, probably me).

The Oilers are struggling to make it to the playoffs, despite their talented roster.

Their superstar is Connor McDavid (first overall pick in the 2015 draft), he’s arguably the best hockey player alive. His speed is unmatched (yeah Barzal won the fastest skater competition but we all know Connor is the fastest player, especially with a puck). They put a lot of faith in him to get the team to a regular spot in the playoffs. He’s obviously the captain.

(this gif doesn't even do him justice!!)

And then they have this German dude, Leon Draisaitl, he was drafted in 2014 (3rd overall) by the Oilers. He didn’t have the best start and was sent to the WHL, but soon proved his potential. He got called back for the 2015-16 season. Had an incredible season in 2016-17 (with the Oilers making it to the playoffs and ending an 11 year playoff drought). He’s been getting better ever since and was named this year’s MVP (2019-20). As well as receiving the Ted Lindsay Award and the Art Ross Trophy. +Deutschland’s Sportler des Jahres Award! Which in a football (/soccer) dominated country, is HUGE!!

He has a super cute dog named Bowie. Leon is from Köln and like most Germans, he’s a football fan. Thank god he’s a decent human being and supports his local football club (and not some club like Bayern).

May I present Bowie 🥺💕 (the K, dude we get it, you love your hometown 🙄)

Other notable guys are Ryan Nugent-Hopkins (also first overall draft pick), Darnell Nurse, Oscar Klefbom and Adam Larsson.... and Zack Kassian, he’s kind of crazy, not really a fan of him tbh (but that’s because he likes to beat up a guy from the Flames I am unfortunately quite fond of).

Okay tbh all of them are notable and amazing, this team is so great once you get to know them.

They have had like seven coaches in the last ten years, so it's safe to say they are still on their path of finding themselves. I'm not sure about Dave Tippett yet, but compared to his predecessors he’s going okay. We will ignore that they lost to the Hawks in the playoff’s qualifying round, because what the heck was that?! But that’s another thing, their leadership is still fairly young and especially Connor has to deal with a lot of pressure and expectation, they just lack experience but if they can keep the current team together, it wouldn’t surprise me if they win a cup in the future.

….

Sooo... Connor and Leon, they play the most beautiful hockey together, like it so beautiful to watch, I am not even kidding, their passing is incredible, THEY ALWAYS FIND EACH OTHER (they are probably hockey soumates or some shit). I could go on about this forever, every time I see them play together, I remember why I fell in love with hockey.

but yeah having two so skilled centers on the same line isn’t necessarily the most efficient combination, there’s only so much time they can be on the ice together and only so much goals they can score, so they try to split them up. Makes sense I guess, because why have your two best players on the same line, when you can have them on separate lines and still have them produce just as well.

We still get to see them play together on the power play (or in overtime) tho and thank god because with their skill and blind understanding, makes the Oilers' power play the best in the league.

What else is there 🤔

Ahh, they got Jesse Puljujärvi back, which hell yes, I am so happy about that! I mean look at that precious ray of sunshine!!

I am most excited about Tyson Barrie though, I think he can really bring something to them team, first and foremost experience and stability but hopefully some personality as well. The Oilers are, for the lack of better words, kind of closed off and boring? I don’t necessarily feel that way but people call them depressed and stuff. I would say, they are maybe a bit more private and potentially less glamorous. But then again, they are a Canadian team and the Canadian media can be quite harsh when it comes to hockey, so it would make sense for most of them to try to stay under the radar.

Have a gif of Tyson and Ralph (because who wouldn't want that 🥺)

THE BATTLE OF ALBERTA:

Was kind of dead for years, is coming back to live, it’s basically like the derby thing in football. The Calgary Flames and the Oilers are both from Alberta, so it’s a regional and divisional based rivalry but boy is it entertaining! To keep it short, they hate each other and there’s lots of fighting and bad blood.

I mean there are goalie fights and all 😳🙌🏻

TO SUMMARIZE MY MESSY THOUGHTS, I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR AND SO SHOULD YOU!!

Und danke dafür, dass Du mein Hockey stuff erträgst... Deine Asks und Kommentare sind immer so unglaublich lieb und ich bin so dankbar!!! 🥰💕

#sorry it got so long idk why 🙈#thank you for your patience #💕💕💕#this was kind of Connor and Leon centric sorry I guess #don't come for me for not choosing the Stars 😳😇#Also thank you for your ask 💕#I ignored all known grammar rules but that's nothing new 🤷‍♀️

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gayoperatorgunclub · 4 years

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ULTIMATE SHIP MEME: MontaDoc Edition? Pretty please? Or any MontaDoc content. I crave it. Much 💕

of course!!!!!!! sorry this has taken so long, but i sincerely hope you enjoy it!!! 💝💝💝

General:

How long will they last? - for fucking EVER!!!!!!

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - two words: mutual. pining. this period, often referred to as the “Beginning of Operation: T.E.A.M. D.A.D.S. (Temporary Employment As Masters of Dad And Dad Sweethearts)” however, unbeknownst to anybody else in rainbow, by the time Operation: T.E.A.M. D.A.D.S. had begun, gustave and gilles had already been together for a couple of years. how did they actually get together? about six months after the GIGN joined rainbow, gustave was in the middle of a mountain of paperwork when he heard someone clear their throat. he spun around to scold whoever it was for coming to medbay when they were sick (despite the fact that he was coming down with a nasty cold), only to be greeted with gilles leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe. “gustave. you look as though you’re about to meet death for dinner. how can you expect to take care of others when you’re not taking care of yourself?” gustave just sighed and shook his head, muttering something about leaving him be for another couple hours so he could finish his paperwork, but gilles has other ideas. in mere moments, gustave goes from standing over his desk, organizing some files, to being held in gilles’ big strong arms. “wh- gilles! i-” he was cut off by his own yawn, and gilles smiled at him fondly. gustave felt himself blush, and he squirmed a little, but let gilles carry him to the GIGN quarters. as soon as it seemed like gilles was going to leave, gustave pulled him down for a kiss, then pushed their foreheads together and whispered “you’re going to carry me all this way and not even stay to make sure i don’t go back to my office?” gilles just grinned at him, climbing into bed beside him and wrapping his arms around him.

How was their first kiss? - ROMANTIQUE! and smelling of sickness but what can you do

Wedding:

Who proposed? - monty!! he decided to cook a romantic candlelit dinner at their apartment, and when he sees gustave come home from work, all ragged and exhausted, yet still with a glimmer of determination and subtle joy, he says the first thing that comes to mind: “will you marry me?” gustave froze, his cheeks still rosy and his hair sprinkled with snowflakes. “will i what?” gilles realized his mistake and flushed, stammering a response before gustave was standing in front of him, staring at him scrutinizingly. “gilles.” he started, reaching to intertwine their hands, bring them between their chests, “what did you say?” gilles gulped, then steeled himself and got down on one knee. “gustave kateb. love of my life, light of my days. the man i want to wake up next to every day for the rest of my life. the man who i adore with every fiber of my being. would you do me the honor of being my husband?”

Who is the best man/men? - for monty: bandit! for doc: lion (everyone but them thought it was a joke until the day of the wedding). dominic and olivier’s dual best man speech is the stuff of legends. there were tears, there was laughter, and there was an almost excessive amount of thinly-veiled sexual innuendos at various people in attendance (including both grooms; the best men were both drunk of their asses)

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - they actually fight over who gets to pick twitch! meanwhile rook is in the background like D: (don’t worry, it’s decided that he and twitch will be ring bearer and flower girl respectively) for monty: dokkaebi. for doc: finka

Who did the most planning? - they both did! though gustave focused on food and flowers, and gilles focused on the guest list and the venue (but they ran things by each other before any final decisions were made)

Who stressed the most? - gilles! he was so worried about their families not getting along that he actually prepared a “leave my husband and his family alone or so help me i will never speak to you again” speech

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - gilles’ racist, homophobic, french nationalist uncle (no one in the family likes him, so it wasn’t a big loss) (this uncle also made a surprise appearance at the family dinner where gilles introduced gustave to the rest of his family, and started yelling about “godamn immigrants” and other such bigotted statements, before gilles’ sister physically dragged him out of the house and threw him out the door. afterwards, up in the guest bedroom, gilles quietly tells gustave that it’s okay if he wants to leave, or break up, or anything, and gustave just laughs and tells him that if he wasn’t prepared for family members to express their distaste, he wouldn’t be dating a white man. he pressed a kiss to gilles’ temple, before whispering “although, he was right about my being an immigrant; it’s just that i was born in Paris and immigrated with my family to algeria, not the other way around. A for effort, though”)

Sex:

Who is on top? - gilles!!!! although gustave will occassionally ride him 👀👀👀

Who is the one to instigate things? - gustave is lowkey horny 24/7, but if gilles walks in on him bending over to get something from a cabinet, or tilting his head all the way back while drinking from his water bottle, thereby showcasing the way his throat moves as he swallows, he will lose his shit

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - okay i’m gonna change this one to an explanation of some things from below. i personally think doc lowkey a freak, and gilles is happy to oblige him if that’s what his lapin wants (although he’s not entirely sure how he feels about this “overstimulation” and “post-orgasm torture” and “cock & ball torture” stuff. specifically, he’s not sure he likes hurting gustave, but, while he probably won’t admit it out loud, he secretly adores making gustave cry. when he’s so helpless and powerless and mindless, and he’s begging for something, but for what he doesn’t really know. maybe it’s the knowledge that gilles is in complete control, that gustave trusts him to do this, to make him hurt and cry and just melt, the knowlege that gustave is completely reliant on him for his pleasure, his pain, and everything in between. it’s a heady thing, and gilles isn’t sure how he feels about it, but he’s pretty sure the warmth in his chest and the warmth in his gut are good signs

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - unless they’re doing some of the things mentioned above, or mayhaps some denial 👀👀👀 then yeah, everyone gets the same. they’re very considerate when they’re just doing vanilla

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children: btw, the rest of this is kinda set in a post-retirement au (idrk i just want them to have a farm and be peaceful). give it whatever context u want tho, i was just havin fun

How many children will they have? - they will have four cats and a dog, as well as 2 horses, a donkey, 5 cows, an alpaca, a rabbit, some ducks, a flock of sheep and goats, and the occasional visit from a herd of deer from the forest surrounding their little farm

How many children will they adopt? - since humans CANNOT, i repeat, CANNOT, give birth to the animals listed above, they’re all adopted

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - no one. the animals potty train themselves

Who is the stricter parent? - gilles sneaks them treats while gustave lectures them about dietary habits, so take your pick

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - whenever gilles leaves to run errands, one of the goats goes into a depression so deep and miserable that they’re utterly inconsolable until he comes back. once they hear the sound of the car in the driveway, this lil goat, lovingly named “Bastard” by gustave, will climb onto the roof of the house and scream his joy over gilles’ return to the heavens

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - they tag team on things like feeding the animals and cleaning out the barn, but gustave is much more organized about it

Who is the more loved parent? - the cats, dog, one of the horses, donkey, alpaca, rabbit, goats (except for Bastard), and deer all prefer gustave, though gilles is adequate in the event that gustave is busy with something else (although the alpaca and donkey hate his guts, and will escape their pastures to break into the house and be near gustave. gilles maintains that they’re both devil-spawn, but gustave says he’s just being dramatic and that Thamin (alpaca) and Albalatin (donkey) are complete angels who could do no wrong)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - animals have NOT unionized. yet.

Who cried the most at graduation? - idk if this counts, but when Bastard finally figured out how to get himself down from the roof after getting himself onto it, gilles cried for an hour

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - gilles lowkey does whenever thamin and albalatin escape to go out into the world and commit crimes, but only to make sure his husband doesn’t get upset when he finds out his precious creatures are hell beasts. certainly not out of anything resembling tolerance or *shudder* like

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - gustave, but gilles can make a mean bowl of cereal

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - gustave. gilles will eat something straight from the garden and gustave is like “DID YOU CHECK IF IT WAS RIPE?????? YOU COULD DIE FROM THAT YOU KNOW, THEN WHERE WOULD I BE???”

Who does the grocery shopping? - gustave. gilles is something of a hermit in their town, and people often remark about the “sweet, kind doctor and his utter brick wall of a husband”

How often do they bake desserts? - whenever Bastard goes a day without doing something Bastardous

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - both lowkey prefer salad, since they care for many animals that would often get used for their meat, and they can’t bear to think about hurting any of their babies

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - gilles. the people in town helped him when he burst into the little grocery store all panicked like “I NEED TO MAKE MY HUSBAND A SURPRISE DINNER BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE”

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - gustave. gilles like being at home, but city-boy over here thinks that restaurants are a weekly luxury

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - neither. it was thamin and albalatin, attempting to frame gilles for yet another felony

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - gustave. everything is color coded. sex toys included

Who is really against chores? - gilles. gustave films him whenever he actually does clean and yells things like “go white boy go!!” and sends them to twitch for her T.E.A.M. D.A.D.S. scrapbook

Who cleans up after the pets? - they both do, but gilles gets stuck with shit duty more often than not

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - gilles, once. gustave walked in, sniffed the air, then glared at him until he actually swept whatever it was up and threw it away

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - gustave “we can’t have guests over, the house is a mess” kateb

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Bastard. he then proceeded to eat it

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - gustave and his hour-long skincare routine

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - gustave, bc sadiqi the dog (not to be confused with sadiqi the kitten), or Big Sadiqi (kitten sadiqi is Little Sadiqi) is his, gilles, and he will not allow his precious boy to be influenced by such creatures as Bastard

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - they get little sweaters for the animals. that is all

What are their goals for the relationship? - joke: gustave always says “the White Man’s money” despite the fact that his family is richer than gilles’. woke: mutual happiness, comfort, and healing

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - gustave. after 11 am, thamin and albalatin decide they’ve had enough and break in to lay down on the bed next to him. gilles banishes himself to the couch for a week

Who plays the most pranks? - Bastard, thamin, and albalatin. although gustave did dye the sheep’s wool (while it was still attached to them) different colors and patterns and, for the ones who were perfectly content to sit still and be held, replicas of famous paintings (his favorite artist is monet, in case you forgot that he’s french)

#ask #r6scaliber #r6s doc #r6s montagne #doc/montagne #ass alert!#thank you for interacting!

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