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pastelwitchling · 3 years

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Somebody to You (1/4)

Chapter 1. Hidden Feelings

Alex Manes is Michael's best friend in the entire world. His platonic soulmate, in fact. That's why, when Michael discovers that Alex is in love with him, he panics. Rather than risk the loss of his friendship, Michael begs his brother Max to date Alex instead, and divert his affections. Though hesitant at first, Max agrees for the sake of helping his brother. But what happens when Max realizes that there is more to Alex than he first thought? Romance ensues, and as Max and Alex become closer, Max realizes that what had started as a favor to Michael has turned all too real. The only problem is that Michael never expected Max to actually fall in love. Can Max stay with Alex knowing that their beginning is based on the worst kind of betrayal?

High school was hard enough without your best friend falling in love with you.

Not that there was anything wrong with Alex Manes, guys and girls both had to admit he was pretty to look at, but he was Michael’s best friend. When he’d first come out to him last year, Michael had very pointedly not teased the question, You don’t have a crush on me, do you?

Now, he didn’t know whether or not that had been the right move. If he’d asked, would Alex have blushed and given himself away? Or would he have been insulted? Or would he have rolled his eyes at the question like he did any time Michael said something stupid?

Maybe if he’d asked, he wouldn’t have found out by accidentally eavesdropping on Alex’s private conversation with Liz. Maybe he wouldn’t have heard Alex’s tears, heard his voice as strung out as it had been, fueled by exhaustion and fear.

“What if he doesn’t say no?” Liz tried, the words more a plea than an actual consideration to Michael’s ears. He could hear her desperate desire for her own words to be true, and the resignation in the knowledge that they weren’t. “What if he likes you back?”

“He won’t,” Alex cried, and made Michael’s grip on the music room door handle tighten. “He’ll never talk to me again.”

“Michael loves you,” Liz insisted. “He’ll love you even if you want something more. Look,” she was speaking more quickly now, “maybe if you tell him, you’ll feel better. Right? That’s why you’re crying, isn’t it? It’s just another huge weight on your shoulders, but if he knows that you’ve loved him since middle school, then – then maybe at least he’ll stop rubbing his one-night stands in your face!”

She sounded furious at the mention of it. Michael thought about the last blonde, nameless girl he’d had two nights ago, the way he’d latched to Alex’s back the next day, eager to tell him all about it. The way Alex, the dark circles around his eyes darker for reasons other than the eyeliner, had shrugged him off and murmured some excuse about getting to class.

Shame swelled in his chest until he realized he had nothing to be guilty for. He hadn’t known Alex had feelings for him!

Oh god, he realized. Alex had feelings for him. His best friend – no, best friend wasn’t enough to describe what Alex was. His soulmate, the very half of his heart, wanted more than friendship from him.

He swallowed, about to walk away. He shouldn’t be hearing any of this. He shouldn’t know any of it. Then –

“No,” Alex said. “No, I’m just – I’m just tired.” He sniffled, and Michael imagined him roughly wiping his face with his sleeves. “I don’t want him to know.”

“Alex –”

“No, Liz,” he said more sternly, more afraid. “I don’t want him to know. You . . . when I told you, you promised you’d never tell him. You’re not going to –”

“No,” she breathed, appalled. “No, of course not. I’d never do that.”

“I know,” he said quietly. “I just . . . please, you can’t say stuff like that. It – I can’t – if he finds out –”

“Hey,” Liz said softly. “He won’t.”

“I can’t lose him,” he said and sniffled. “I’m just . . . upset because of my dad. The last thing I want is for Michael to leave me because of a stupid crush.”

A moment’s pause, then Liz tried, “Alex . . . it’s more than a crush.”

“Please,” Alex pleaded. “Don’t tell him. I never want him to know.”

“Okay,” Liz said, and Michael heard shuffling. He dared peek into the room and saw Alex there alongside the piano, his back to the door, Liz’s arms around his shoulders. Her eyes were closed, so she didn’t see Michael. “I promise, I’ll never tell him.”

Alex hugged her waist, and his body sagged with exhaustion against her. He hummed, but his voice waivered, like he was trying not to cry again.

Michael had left then, replaying everything he’d heard in his head. Alex liked him. No, Alex more than liked him. What was he supposed to do with that?

This wasn’t like finding out the local gay guy had fantasies about him. This was finding out the guy he trusted more than anybody, the guy he cherished more than anybody, had feelings for him. It felt like a threat to their friendship.

Michael slumped against the driver’s side of his truck, his backpack barely hanging off one hand. This was Alex. What was he supposed to do?

Alex liked him. His response? He clenched his jaw. No fucking way. He didn’t want to be in a relationship with Alex. It was Alex. It wasn’t that he couldn’t see holding his hand and going on dates with him and he’d seen him in the locker rooms. It was no wonder the girls here had had a memorial when they’d found out the hot emo musician only wanted men . . .

It didn’t matter. He didn’t want anything with Alex. He’d had too many one-night stands and too many nameless, faceless nobodies to know that love was only something that existed in his brother’s books. Getting intimate with someone meant risking losing them.

He clenched his fists. He would’ve rather died than lose Alex. He opened his truck door and climbed inside. He gripped his steering wheel tightly, unable to start it for a good minute as an unidentified dread settled in the bottom of his chest and climbed up through his heart.

When he parked in front of the junkyard where old man Sanders let him stay, and he found his brother Max sitting in a lawn chair, he understood what the dread was. It was the same thing he’d heard in Alex’s voice when it seemed like Liz might let his feelings for him slip; Raw fear.

As he stepped out, millions of worst-case scenarios swarmed his mind. What if Alex decided to tell him the truth? What if he blurted it one day in a fight? What if they were so happy that Alex got the courage to kiss him? What if things ended terribly and they lost each other?

Max raised a brow at him. “You look like hell. What happened?”

Michael could only shake his head as he took the seat opposite Max. He was due to work in half an hour, but sometimes Sanders let him rest up if he’d had a long day. And those last few minutes overhearing what he had in the music room had officially made this the longest day ever.

“Tell me something,” he sighed, leaning his head back and not at all paying attention to the dotted white clouds across the blue sky. “Anything.”

“Okay?” Max said more in the form of a question. “I – uh – saw Liz today. In the music room. With Alex.”

He groaned. “Anything else.”

Max nudged his knee with the back of his hand. “Hey, what’s wrong with you? You look like someone just smashed your guitar.”

My guitar. The guitar that Alex had given him because Michael had offhandedly mentioned once that music helped ease the noise in his mind. How had he not known then? Alex had paid such special attention to him. He had read his mind and known what his heart had wanted and given it to him when no one else bothered to look past the excitement of getting to rebel under the bleachers with the genius trailer trash.

How had he not known?

“I changed my mind,” he said. “Don’t speak. Just let me wallow.”

“Huh,” Max said. “Isobel’s been a fortress since she joined the Spring Dance committee, and you’re busy falling into your own despair for whatever reason.” He pulled a little brown leather notebook out of his back pocket. “Do any of my siblings have time for me?”

“I’m not falling into anything,” Michael grumbled. “Why do you have to get so poetic about . . . every . . . damn . . .” he trailed off, his eyes narrowing at the notebook. “Alex has that same notebook.”

Max hummed noncommittally, leaning back in his seat again and resting the notebook on his lap as he began doodling a rose. “Different colors though,” he said. “His is black. They got mixed up last week when he and I bumped into each other in the school hallway.”

An idea formed, somewhere in the back of his mind. Like water on ink; something definitely there, but unreadable. He leaned back again, wiping whatever the itch was from his eye.

“I don’t want to think about Alex right now,” he muttered, though even as he said it, his thoughts taunted him. Alex was all he could think about right now.

“Whoa,” Max blinked. Even he knew how much Alex and Michael treasured each other. Michael had never said he didn’t want to do something where Alex was concerned. “You guys have a fight or something?”

“No,” Michael said, though a fight might’ve been easier to deal with. “I found out . . . I heard Liz say . . .” He huffed, closing his eyes. He blurted. “Alex is in love with me.”

Silence. Michael opened his eyes and saw Max’s expression completely unsurprised. He looked like he was waiting for Michael to get to the point.

He straightened. “Are you kidding me? You really knew?”

Max scoffed. “You really didn’t?”

“No!” he gaped and stood. “He’s my best friend, why would I think he was in love with me?!”

“Because he’s your best friend.”

“So?!”

“So!” Max said like it was obvious. “Alex hates people! Liz and Kyle are his only friends, he barely tolerates me and Isobel, and Rosa Ortecho swears he hissed at her once!” He huffed a disbelieving chuckle. “Before you came along, Liz told me he never said two words to anybody he hadn’t known since before his mom left. You want to take a guess as to why he warmed up to you so quickly?”

Michael didn’t answer. Max grabbed his arm. “And for the love of god, stop pacing, you’re making me nauseous.”

He tugged him down onto the lawn chair, and Michael sagged against it. He stared into the distance, lost in his memories of his first meeting with Alex. Alex had been bullied, pushed into a tree and made fun of for stares and feelings he had yet to understand himself. Then Michael had jumped between him and the bullies, waving a tree branch, screaming at them to get away or he would kill them.

It had been the wildness of his eyes and words, wildness he’d gained from years with monsters for parents, that had unnerved them in the end. Alex had taken his offered hand with wide eyes then, and timidly asked, “You’re not scared of me?”

Michael had known then that this twelve-year-old had been told too often that he was something unnatural, something wrong, and was expecting it from someone else now. So he’d looked Alex over, as if checking for bruises, and rested the branch on his shoulder like it had been a bat.

He’d grinned and said, “No fangs or a tail. You look fine to me!”

After that moment, Alex had followed him everywhere, his eyes never anything less than adoring.

Michael shut his eyes. How could he have not known?

A buzzing against his thigh snapped him out of his thoughts, and he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Alex was calling.

“Shit,” he leapt to his feet, holding the phone at a distance as if afraid that Alex could somehow see him through the camera. “Shit shit shit.”

“What?” Max followed and his shoulders slumped at the sight of Alex’s name. “Dude, just answer. He doesn’t know you know, remember?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah, right, yeah.”

“It’s still just Alex.”

“Just Alex,” he repeated. “It’s just Alex.” He answered the call, held the phone to his ear, and all but yelled, “Hey!” He winced at himself and Max rolled his eyes.

“Hey?” Alex asked, laughter in his voice. He didn’t sound like he’d just been crying his eyes out at all. Then it hit Michael. Alex was abused. He was used to hiding his scars. “Why’re you screaming?”

“I’m not!” he said, then adjusted his volume with a clear of his throat. “I’m – uh – I’m not. What’s up?”

He loves me. He loves me, he loves me, he loves me.

Michael, so caught in the thought, completely missed what Alex had asked him. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sorry,” he grit out, “say that again?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, is the auto shop really busy right now?” Alex asked like he knew the answer. “Pay attention, Guerin, this is important!”

Of course, Michael had ditched time and time again because they hardly had any cars in around now, and all Sanders did when he was an hour late was yell and grumble, then give him and Alex an extra plate of whatever he’d had for lunch.

“I asked what time you were coming to my gig tonight,” he said, a little more hesitantly. When Michael didn’t answer, he cleared his throat. “At the – uh – the Wild Pony? Just so I can save you a seat.”

Michael let his hand with the phone fall, his shoulders slumped. For years, he’d owed that nervous stammer in Alex’s voice, the way he went from confident to shy with just a second of Michael’s silence, to nerves about his gigs. Now he speculated it was because of something else.

Damn it. He wished he’d never known about Alex’s feelings. He wished he could unhear everything.

He realized Alex was talking again, and he held the phone to his ear.

“If you can’t make it,” he was saying, “I get it, I just need to know for the seats, you know?”

Michael had never canceled on Alex before, but Alex was a little sensitive where his music was concerned. Michael assumed it was because he had a father and brothers who belittled what he did every day, no matter how often Michael told him he loved his songs.

He gripped the phone tightly. He wondered what Alex would do if he canceled on him now.

“Michael,” Max mouthed, “talk to him.”

“Guerin,” Alex huffed a laugh. It sounded forced. “Dude, it’s fine. It’s one gig, I think our friendship will survive.”

Will it? Michael feared. Will it survive this, Alex? Will it survive feelings that friends shouldn’t have for each other? Will it survive if I can’t help but look into the double meaning of every word you say now?

He felt oddly frustrated with Alex, like this was his fault somehow. Like he was singlehandedly destroying everything they’ve ever had by wanting more.

“Is it another gig?” Max asked, nudging his elbow. “Will Liz be there? Ask him if Liz will be there.”

Michael rolled his eyes, about to snap at his brother that this was not the time. Couldn’t he see that Michael was suffering some emotional turmoil over here?

“Guerin,” Alex tried again. “Are you there?” He heard a sigh, and Alex mumbled, “Is the reception bad?”

Michael hated this. He was starting to scare Alex, and it was the very last thing he wanted to do. Max was still asking about Liz, his notebook, just like Alex’s but a different color, in his hand, and Michael clenched his jaw. Max liked Liz, but it would be so much easier for everyone if . . . if . . .

His eyes widened. The idea that had begun to sink below the depths of his mind surfaced now. Before he could make it out completely, he found himself saying, “Sorry, hang on a second, babe, my brother keeps trying to talk to me.”

“Oh!” relief flooded Alex’s voice and he chuckled breathlessly. It sounded so much more real, and that hurt Michael all the more. “Yeah, sure! God, Michael, you freaked me out a second there. Yeah, take your time.”

Michael covered the speaker on his phone and told Max quietly, “I need you to come to Alex’s gig with me.”

Max’s eyes widened. “Liz will be there?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Michael said. “I need you to ask out Alex.”

Max stared a moment, then, “What?”

Michael held up a finger to his brother and brightened his tone when he told Alex, “Hey, Alex, can I bring Max to your gig tonight?”

“W-wait,” Max said, “Michael, what’d you mean, ask out Alex? Was that a joke?”

Michael ignored him as Alex scoffed. “Sure. But you’re definitely coming, right? Because I was totally lying before. If you don’t make it, I’ll never talk to you again.”

Michael smiled and almost said, Would I ever not show up for you?, realized how Alex might take it, and diverted at the last second.

“Uh – yeah – see you tonight, then.”

It was awkward and unnatural for them, but Alex hardly seemed to notice, lost in his own happiness, as he told Michael he’d see him tonight, and hung up.

He barely met Max’s dark eyes and crossed arms when Max said, “No.”

“Hear me out –”

“If your next sentence doesn’t end with, ‘and then everyone will laugh, and it’ll totally take the edge off,’ I don’t want to hear it.”

“One date!” he begged, following Max back to the chairs and their backpacks. “Just one! Consider it a birthday present to me! For the next five years – no, ten years!”

“This isn’t a favor, Michael!” Max argued. “I’m not going to ask your best friend out just so you can avoid having to talk about this!”

“But –”

“Besides,” Max said, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder, “I’m not gay or bisexual or pansexual or anything. He’d smell a fake a mile away.”

“You’d totally pass for bisexual!” Michael argued. “Look at you” – he tapped Max’s arms, his chest, his notebook – “you have the whole muscly jock with a tender heart thing going on, come on!”

Max stared. “Do you hear yourself?”

“Max,” he urged. “I need you to do this one thing for me! I’d do it for you!”

“You wouldn’t have to,” Max said. “I don’t pass off people who like me to my brother like a freaking torch.”

Michael winced, and Max sighed, his expression softening. “And I like Liz, remember?”

“Then this’ll be the perfect in for you,” he insisted. “Getting close to Alex means getting close to Liz. Then, in – in a month, just until the Spring Dance, you can smooth your way to Liz, and Alex will know the breakup is coming.”

Michael swallowed thickly before he said, “I know him. He hates being left behind, so he’ll end things first.”

Max shook his head. “And he’ll be heartbroken. Assuming your plan works. Is that what you want, Michael?”

Michael hesitated, then, “It’ll just break for a minute.” He added quickly, “Th-then I’ll come in, and he won’t want to date your brother, so he’ll know we’re better off as friends.”

He pursed his lips a moment, then walked past him. “You’re crazy.”

Michael clenched his jaw and blocked Max’s path. “I can’t date Alex,” he said fiercely. “I can’t.”

“He doesn’t know you overheard anything,” Max told him, not unkindly. “Can’t you just . . . play along?”

Michael shook his head, his fists tight at his side. “It’ll come out,” he said. “I know it will. Please, Max, I . . . I can’t lose him. I need you.”

Those were the words, Michael knew, that Max could never say no to. Those were the words that he and Isobel used only in extreme cases, when guilt for taking advantage of their brother’s good heart had to be put aside to fix whatever had happened. Michael hated using them, had used them only once before in his life, but knew he had to use them again now.

Max sighed and looked away, something like resignation settling in the slump of his shoulders. A moment’s pause, then – “Alex hates me.”

“No,” Michael breathed, already smiling despite the pinch in his chest that he would’ve rather not thought about. “You said it yourself, he barely tolerates you.” He took Max’s journal and held it up. “And if anyone can make something into something more, it’s a writer.”

Max wasn’t good at being a boyfriend. Not that he’d ever been anyone’s boyfriend, but that was the problem. He had no idea how to flirt or tease or ask anyone out. It was why he’d spent the better part of the last year pining after Liz Ortecho, stumbling through his hellos.

Now, for whatever reason, he was prepping himself to ask out someone for the first time in his life. And it was Liz’s best friend. The things he did for his siblings . . .

As Michael parked his truck outside the Wild Pony, Max thought about the few times he’d seen Alex around town. He was reminded of the Greek mythology stories he loved reading; of Hades, Lord of the Underworld, and how sunlight couldn’t touch him. He was nothing like his brothers who were all on one sports team or another. Who seemed to have no problem being popular.

Though none of them, he knew, were like Alex. The dark prince, the one everyone wanted to know for his mystery, but the one who didn’t want anyone near him. The one people gave up on because he was too difficult to approach.

You had to have an in. And, Max supposed, Michael was his in.

“Remember,” Michael was telling him as they left the truck. “His favorite song is Welcome to the Black Parade, don’t get him a beer until after his set, and whatever you do, do not insult Star Wars. He didn’t talk to Valenti for two days when he thought there were Jedis in Star Trek.”

Max started to laugh, saw that Michael was watching him expectantly, and huffed. “Would you calm down? I’m the one who gets to worry here. There’s no way Alex will let me come within three feet of him.”

“I already told you,” Michael said. “You have me. You just think about being your usual charming self –”

“Is that supposed to be another joke?”

“—And Alex will be happy to have you.”

Michael stopped abruptly just as they reached the doors. He turned to Max and pointed a warning finger. “Just don’t kiss him.”

Max blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Don’t kiss him,” he repeated seriously. “That’s . . . it’s too far. He deserves to be kissed by someone who . . . really wants to kiss him.” He shook the thought out of his head. “Just – just don’t kiss him.”

“I won’t kiss him,” Max held his hands up. “I don’t want to anyway.”

“And don’t talk that way around him,” Michael grit out. “Anyone would be lucky to have Alex.”

Max looked to the skies for aid. “Then you date him!”

“I can’t,” was all Michael said, and tugged on Max’s arm. “Come on, you’ll do great.”

The Wild Pony doors opened to chatter and cowboys and clanking drinks. Max heaved a sigh, tapping his fingers on his thigh. He could do this. He could do this.

Michael patted his back and went on ahead. Max followed, thinking of what he’d say to Alex when he saw him.

He considered, “What’s up?”, “How’s it hanging?”, “‘Sup, bro!”, and winced at himself. He needed more time to think of something, but he didn’t have any. He spotted Liz first, and Kyle and Alex beside her. Liz and Kyle were laughing about something, but Alex was focused on his music sheets, his fingers running over the keys as if making sure he knew the song by heart.

Right then, Max realized what a terrible idea this was.

“Michael,” he tried, reaching for his brother’s shoulder. “I – I think we should talk about this –”

“Alex!” Michael called, and went ahead. Max was left stumbling behind him.

Alex glanced up and smiled at the sight of Michael. “Hey! I saved you a seat up front!”

Michael looked like he was going to wrap an arm around his shoulders like he usually did, then his smile dimmed and he cleared his throat, patting Alex’s arm in the end.

“Duh, buddy,” he said. “What are friends for?”

Alex glanced down for a fraction of a second before his smile returned and he pulled Michael to behind the keyboard to look at his song. It was like Max wasn’t there.

Michael seemed to notice that, too. He raised his brows pointedly at Max, and Max cleared his throat, stepped forward, and said, “H-hey, Alex.”

Alex looked up like he thought he heard someone talk to him, and his eyes met Max’s. His brows furrowed and he pressed his lips together, clearly confused as to why Michael’s brother was talking to him.

“Hi,” he murmured. “So, Guerin, look at this, I used the lyrics you came up with yesterday.”

“Uh –” Michael barely glanced at the page. “Hope you don’t mind that I brought Max,” he said, pulling Max forward. “He really wanted to hear you sing.”

Alex narrowed his eyes at Max. “If he’s here to, like, make fun of me or something –”

“No,” Max said at once. “No, I – I really do . . . like . . . music.”

Alex stared a moment. Then he looked away, uncomfortable, and took Michael’s hand. He muttered, “Is he coming with us for ice cream after?”

Michael chuckled and subtly removed his hand from Alex’s. Max could see the flash of hurt in Alex’s eyes before it was gone, and he thought he might’ve imagined it.

“We’ll see,” Michael said, “about the ice cream, okay?”

Alex scoffed and bumped their shoulders. “Yeah, okay. The day Michael Guerin says no to ice cream is the day Kyle Valenti gets into med school.”

“Hey!” Kyle argued.

“I’m kidding!” Alex laughed. “I knew you were listening in, you freak!”

Kyle pulled Alex to him, and Michael kept laughing until he whipped around to face Max, then his smile fell away and he hissed, “Work with me here!”

“I’m trying,” Max hissed back. “I am making him uncomfortable, Michael.”

“He’s just not used to you talking to him,” he whispered. “Just – just – just . . . move in there!”

He pushed Max forward, and Max nearly stumbled into Alex’s keyboard. Alex looked startled.

“Max,” Liz blinked, “are you okay?”

Kyle tilted his head. “You drunk already, dude?”

“Uh . . .” Max started, and pointed at the keys. “I like your piano.”

Alex raised a brow. “It’s actually not mine. It belongs to the bar.”

“Oh.” Max nodded. “W-Well, you look really cool. I wish I could play the piano, so that’s – that’s really cool.”

“Thanks?”

“Can I – uh – can I buy you a beer? After your set?”

His face burned as Alex stared. Then, while still watching Max apprehensively, Alex called, “Guerin?”

Michael didn’t answer. Max turned to find that he’d started talking up the first blonde he’d found. Asshole, he thought, clearly looking for any excuse to leave him alone with his best friend.

He looked back at Alex, and saw that he was watching Michael, too. His shoulders had fallen, and his brows pinched, but there was no surprise in his face. He was so used to Michael ignoring him when a better offer came along.

He knew he should say something, though he didn’t know what. If Alex thought of Michael as nothing but a friend, this wouldn’t have hurt him.

Liz then suddenly wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist, tighter and tighter until he burst into laughter. Kyle picked up the music sheets and complained why Alex never played any heavy metal.

“You dress like you play it,” he said, “is all I’m saying!”

They were clearly trying to distract him from whatever Michael was doing. Max scratched the back of his head, not knowing what to do himself.

When the show started, Michael was already in his seat, pulling Max to sit down beside him. Liz clapped the loudest and Kyle offered a thumbs up. Michael kept his arms crossed, as if afraid anything he did would be taken the wrong way. Max could see Alex’s momentary confusion before Mimi DeLuca announced his song.

Max was looking everywhere, namely at Liz, until Michael nudged his side with his elbow, and Alex started playing. As the first few notes fell together like a soothing waterfall, Max started. He looked to Alex, eyes wide. This was his music? He didn’t know why, but he’d imagined, like Kyle had teased, heavy metal or I-hate-everything ballads. But this . . .

Not thirty seconds in, Max’s eyes had fallen shut.

He had no idea how it had happened. One second, he was in a wooden chair at a bar where most of the crowd was laughing and talking over the music. The next, he found himself in a forest, surrounded by pine trees, with a clear lake behind him.

When Alex started to sing – who knew he had such a smooth voice? – Max then felt the breeze of a desert night across his cheeks, the stars and full moon bright above, the rest of the world turned to peaceful quiet.

The further along Alex got in his song, the more Max’s fingers itched to write. He couldn’t remember the last time ideas poured into his head like this, the last time he felt his heart swell with the anticipation of creating something.

This was a song Alex had made up. Had he always had such talent? Max had never been to one of his gig’s before because he’d never been invited. Or he had, and he had been lost in the chattering crowd in the back, not paying attention.

Now, he had to pay attention. He found it impossible to do anything else. When Alex finished, his friends and Michael stood to applaud. Liz screamed, Kyle whistled, and Michael looked prouder than Max had ever seen him of anybody. Max slowly did the same, staring.

Alex looked red-faced, but his eyes shone brightly and he smiled widely, like even he could feel the emotion he’d just created. He stepped down, running a hand through his dark hair, and accepted the bottle of water from Kyle with a thanks.

“Is it over?” he breathed after taking big gulps.

“Yeah,” Kyle laughed, ruffling his hair and messing it up again. “It’s over, buddy.”

“That’s my Alex,” Michael said before he could help it, and Max saw the blush deepen in Alex’s cheeks. Michael seemed to have realized his mistake, and handed a cold beer under the table to Max.

Max hesitated, then held it out for Alex to take.

Alex looked startled, but he was still smiling. “Thanks,” he murmured, accepting the bottle.

“So,” Kyle drummed his hands on the table. “Ice cream to celebrate?”

“Ice cream!” Liz yelled and Alex laughed. He turned to Michael.

“Ice cream?”

“Uh . . .” Michael looked over at the blonde he’d been flirting with. She waved to him from across the bar. Max saw the tick in his jaw, the way his fingers curled to fists under the table, and he knew that the last thing Michael wanted to do was cancel on Alex.

Yet that was what he did.

“Raincheck?” he said, and nudged his chin at the girl. “I think I’m about to live the Rockstar fantasy.”

Liz frowned, disapproving. “But you’re not the Rockstar. Alex is.”

“Well, the girls have to go somewhere,” he shrugged, already walking backwards. “If any guys show up, I’ll send ‘em your way, babe.”

“O-Oh,” Alex’s brows pinched. “Okay . . .”

“Max can take my place!” he offered, and turned his back to them. “See you tomorrow!”

“Jackass,” Kyle muttered.

Max opened his mouth to defend Michael, not knowing what he’d say exactly, when Alex said, “He’s just been really stressed out lately. He – he has all those honor classes. I think he should let off a little steam.”

Liz did not look like she agreed. “Alex . . .”

“It’s okay, really,” he said, then managed a smile that did not reach his eyes. “More for us, right?”

Max stared. “You really care about him, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Alex said simply, and looked at Michael’s retreating form with a forlorn look. “He’s my best friend.”

Alex seemed distracted. No matter how much Liz and Kyle tried to pull him into conversation, the best he could manage was a smile that even Max could tell was fake. Max felt kind of bad for him. He seemed to really be trying his best to cheer up, but every time a blonde girl or any straight couple passed, his mood dimmed again, like he couldn’t help but wonder what Michael was doing now.

Not knowing what else to do, Max nudged his arm and asked the only question he could think to. “Did you really write that song you sang tonight?”

Alex looked confused as to why Max would ask him anything, and he shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah.”

Max shook his head. “That’s so cool,” he breathed. “It – I mean, it was really good.”

Alex checked to make sure Liz and Kyle were too caught up with each other to hear them, then said, “Okay, what’s your deal, Evans? Why are you suddenly being so nice to me?”

Max frowned. “I’ve always been nice to you.”

Alex raised a skeptical brow. “You’ve always been polite. And that’s only because I’m friends with your brother. I know you’re as scared of me as everyone else.”

“That’s not true!” Max said at once. “I’m scared of everyone!”

Alex blinked, and Max realized too late what he’d said. He blushed and looked down, expecting to be laughed at. When he heard Alex huff an incredulous chuckle, he shut his eyes tight, humiliated.

Then he said, “You? Mr. Perfect?”

“I’m not perfect.”

Alex scrunched his nose. Max was reminded of a kitten. “Aren’t you though? Tall, dark, and handsome,” he nudged his chin at the notebook poking out of Max’s back pocket. “And you write.”

Max smirked. “But you’re all of those things.”

Alex blinked, startled, and Max could’ve sworn he saw a pink tint across his cheeks. Maybe it was just too dark.

Max cleared his throat and went on. “You should know then, better than anyone, that it doesn’t matter how good-looking you are. Sooner or later, some people just give up trying to get close to you.”

“Is that what you’re doing?” Alex scoffed halfheartedly. “Trying to get close to me?”

He wouldn’t look at Max as he said it, as if he was sure that was not what was going on. It made Max’s words come out more smoothly than he’d expected. “Yes. It is.”

Alex stopped, surprised. Max also stopped and faced him. He could see Liz and Kyle stop out of the corner of his eyes, and prayed they couldn’t hear him.

When he spoke, the lie left his lips with a little more trouble. “I like you, Alex. I – I always have. I’ve wanted to talk to you for years, but I . . . I’m not good at . . .” he gestured at his entire self, as if to say everything about him was an obstacle.

“That’s why Michael brought me to the show tonight,” he said. “He knew I’ve wanted to talk to you forever. And I finally got to.”

Alex stared, his expression unreadable. For a terrifying moment, Max wondered if he saw through the charade. Then he said, “You like me?”

He said it more like a statement, a dare. Max could only nod once, gripping his notebook so tightly his knuckles turned white.

Then he saw it. The doubt and suspicion behind Alex’s eyes. Alex sighed and kept walking. “Then let’s see how long,” he said, “until you give up, too.”

Max Evans stared. A lot.

Alex was not new to people watching him. Everyone was usually curious about the youngest of the Manes brothers until they realized just how different and unapproachable Alex was, and then their curiosity’s limit showed.

But the longer Max stared, the more curious he seemed to become. If he wasn’t glancing at Alex’s hair or eyeliner, he was looking at Alex’s bracelets, the rings on his fingers, the drawings on his shirt, his necklace, his nail polish.

Alex felt like he was being studied. It was weird. He wished Michael was here to get Max to stop staring. He wished he could snap at Max to look away, but the guy was like a walking cinnamon roll. It was impossible to get angry at him without feeling bad.

When Alex ordered his Neapolitan ice cream, Max not only insisted on paying for it, but offered a spoon of his own lemon sherbet cup for Alex to try.

“Don’t you have, like, hundreds of other friends you could be spending Friday night with?” Alex finally asked.

“Just my brother and sister,” Max confessed, picking at his sorbet. “Hey, since it’s Saturday tomorrow, y-you want to do something?” Then, as if it was an afterthought, added, “Together.”

“No,” Alex grumbled around his spoon.

“Why not?”

“Because I always spend Saturdays with Michael,” he said, and immediately longed for Michael again. He wondered if he was having a lot more fun than Alex was right now. He tried not to think any harder about where Michael might be.

“Oh,” Max said quietly. Alex glanced at him and saw that he was awkwardly tipping the melted part of his sherbet into his mouth. His lips twitched before he quickly schooled his features.

He thought that would be the end of that conversation, but then Max asked, “If he cancels, you wanna do something?”

Alex frowned. “Why would you think he’d cancel?”

“Just . . .” he shrugged. “He kinda does what he wants, you know?”

“Michael never cancels on me,” Alex bit back.

He nodded, but wouldn’t look at Alex again. “Sorry.”

Alex faltered. There it was, that guilt again. Saturdays belonged to him and Michael. He didn’t want anyone else coming along. He continued quietly eating his ice cream. At least maybe now Max would know to give up this ridiculous chase.

“Well, maybe Sunday then?”

Alex blinked and looked up. “W-What?”

Max was smiling nervously, swirling the contents of his sherbet. “There’s – well, there’s this museum for fine art pieces. I – I heard it’s really cool, I’ve been meaning to go, but Isobel and Michael don’t really . . . like paintings and sculptures.” He shook his head. “Sorry, I know you must not either, I – I don’t know why I thought you would –”

“Paintings?” Alex couldn’t help but ask. “Like Potthast? And Einaudi?”

Max blinked. “Y-You know about them?”

“I mean,” Alex scrunched his shoulders. “I’m not an idiot. I love any artist who pours themselves into their work. It’s” – he blushed – “inspiring.”

Max perked up. “Right?! I’d do anything to be a writer, you know? Seeing people love something as much as I love books, it kind of makes me feel like . . .”

“Like it all has to mean something,” Alex finished, smiling to himself. “I can’t love it this much for nothing.”

Max huffed a laugh. He looked surprised, his cheeks tinted pink. “Yeah! Yeah, exactly . . .”

Neither of them said anything for the next minute. Alex rubbed the sole of his shoe against the pavement and cleared his throat.

“I mean,” he finally said, “I guess . . . if I’m really not doing anything Sunday . . . I can come. B-But only if Michael’s coming, too! I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”

Max didn’t say anything, and Alex chanced a glance at him to see he had a small smile.

“What?” he demanded. “I said I’d – I’d come. M-Maybe!”

Max nodded. “Er – can I have your number?”

Don’t do it, Alex thought. Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it. Max was just a stranger.

But he’s not a complete stranger, he reminded himself. He was Michael’s brother, and if Michael was letting him get this close to their tight little group, then he must’ve trusted that Alex was safe around him. And he could trust Michael more than anyone to look after him. He knew he could.

“Yeah,” he said, handing Max his phone without looking at him. He saw Liz and Kyle watch him from across the street where they were twirling around a lamppost. They were tilting their heads and smirking, like they knew something he didn’t.

Alex cleared his throat, and, as if his friends could hear him, added in a mutter, “Whatever.”

Even Max smiled at that.

The next morning, Max woke to knocking on his window. He saw Michael and leapt out of bed, letting him in.

“Can’t you knock like a normal person?”

“Didn’t want to wake anyone else up,” he said. He smelled like he’d spent all of last night drinking, but his curls were wild, like he’d walked for hours in the desert instead of lying in someone’s bed.

He nudged Max aside and sat cross-legged on his bed, shoes and all. “Tell me about Alex,” he said. “How’d last night go?”

Max put his pillows up and slumped against them. “Fine. Good. Okay, I guess. He was mostly quiet the whole time. Did you have to blow him off like that?”

Michael looked down and clenched his jaw. “Don’t remind me,” he grumbled. “I hated not being there. The whole time she was talking in my ear, I was trying not to get her to gag on me. I almost called Alex like fifty times!”

He shook his head, as if eager to be rid of the memory. “Forget me. So he didn’t say anything the entire night?”

“No,” Max said. “He did. I got him talking about music and other artists and stuff. I even asked him out to the museum today, just like you said.”

Michael clapped him on the shoulder, happy. “Yeah? Max Evans, you sly dog!”

Max couldn’t share in his enthusiasm. Would Michael have been so happy if he’d seen the look on Alex’s face last night? The way he defended him even when it was clear that his own heart was breaking?

“Yeah,” Max said, rubbing his eye. “Said no.”

“Well,” Michael shrugged a shoulder, “it’s not like he was going to fall in love with you in a few hours.”

“Actually,” Max said, “he said he might be able to come tomorrow. He can’t today because you guys usually hang out on Saturdays.”

Michael raised a brow. “Oh yeah?” He hummed, studying the blanket. After a long few minutes, he said, “I might . . . just call him and –”

“Er –” Max cut him off, “he was pretty adamant that you would never cancel on him. Even after . . . you kind of already did.”

Michael’s shoulders slumped, and he looked away. He muttered, “Yeah?”

“Yeah, Michael,” Max sighed. “Look, can’t you just talk to him about this? It looks like he really cares about you, I’m sure if you told him what you heard –”

“He’d hate me,” Michael said. “Imagine finding out that the one person you like knows you like them, and it makes them uncomfortable. Would you ever be able to look them in the face again?”

Max pressed the heel of his palm into his eye. “And you’re sure you don’t like Alex like that? At all?”

Michael looked up, holding his brother’s gaze. Max had never seen him so fierce. “I can’t date him, Max.”

“Why not?” Max said. “You don’t think your relationship would survive a breakup?”

“I can’t risk it,” he said. “I won’t.”

Max almost pointed out that that wasn’t an answer, but decided not to. “Fine, well,” he laid back down and turned his back to Michael, trying to fall asleep again. “He’s not going anywhere with me on a Saturday, so see you tomorrow.”

Michael did not leave, or say anything for a good long while. Then Max heard shuffling, and tapping. He peeked an eye open and saw Michael texting. Immediately, the look on Alex’s face last night hit him and he sat up.

“What’re you doing?” he demanded, reaching for Michael’s phone. Michael kept himself out of reach. “Michael, I told you, if you cancel –”

“I’m not canceling,” Michael murmured, brows pinched. “Just texting someone.” His finger hovered over the screen a moment before he hit send. “There,” he said, pocketing his phone. He didn’t look any happier than he’d been seconds ago. “Now Alex will be the one asking you out.”

Max’s shoulders slumped. “What’d you do?”

Michael didn’t answer, but the guilt on his face said it all. He was about to break Alex’s heart.

Alex had woken early. Last night he’d climbed through his window to his father banging on his door. He’d managed to sneak under the covers and play asleep the second Jesse had burst through, but he knew his luck wouldn’t last.

It hadn’t mattered, because there was nothing that was going to keep him from an entire day with Michael. So he’d risen early, forgotten about breakfast at the risk of running into his father and being trapped inside again, and just had water from the hydro flask he kept by his bed – he didn’t care, he would eat later with Michael. He’d thrown on his favorite skull and crossbones t-shirt, his silver skull choker, and his rings.

He felt silly fixing his hair in the mirror, running his hand through it so that the strands looked windswept. It wasn’t hard, as his hair rarely stayed down neatly. He’d learned to live with it.

Michael wouldn’t ever like him like he liked girls, he knew that, but maybe . . . maybe some part of him might find Alex attractive. Maybe he might look at him differently without realizing that he was looking at him differently.

It was dumb, but he could hope.

At least, he had hoped until Michael met him in front of their favorite coffeeshop with his arm around Maria DeLuca’s shoulders. Alex had been holding two coffees, a caramel macchiato for him and a mocha for Michael, because he loved chocolate. He’d nearly dropped them at the sight.

“Hey!” Michael called.

“Uh – hey, Alex,” Maria smiled awkwardly. “Guerin,” she said, “I thought we were hanging out today.”

“We are!” Michael smiled widely, taking his coffee and handing it to her. “With Alex! I always spend Saturdays with Alex.”

“B-But . . .” Alex looked between them. He could feel his heart slowly sinking into his stomach. He pressed his lips together in a quick smile to Maria and tugged Michael aside by his sleeve. “What’s going on?” he whispered. “We always spend Saturdays together.”

Michael tilted his head. “We are together.”

“Alone,” Alex insisted. “Just you and me, remember? We’ve never invited anyone else. And . . . Guerin, Maria?”

Michael laughed. He was laughing far too easily, and smiling way too much. He knew that of all people, bringing Maria would be a real sting. Didn’t he care about how Alex felt? And today of all days?

“Come on, Alex,” he said. “I’m just trying to have a little fun here.”

Alex felt like he’d just been slapped. “S-So being with me isn’t fun?”

Michael rolled his eyes like he thought Alex was messing around. Alex, horrifically, thought he might cry.

“Am I supposed to turn down a hot girl for you?” he said, taking Alex’s coffee and having a sip. “Seriously, so Maria’s coming. What’s the big deal, right? I mean, it’s not like we’re dating.”

He reached out to pat Alex’s shoulder, but Alex flinched back, away from his touch. For a split second, Michael’s face fell and he looked mortified. But it was gone so quickly that Alex was sure he must’ve imagined it.

He felt guilty, and dramatic, and pathetic. He felt cast aside, unwanted. All of that was okay, he was used to it. Maybe not from Michael, never from Michael, but he was used to it.

So he did what he always did when he was reminded just how worthless he was. He forced his chin up, exhaled shakily, and kept his words steady. “I actually just remembered that Max wanted to go to a museum thing today.”

Michael was still smiling. It felt wrong, but Alex couldn’t look at him too long to read into it. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Alex took another few steps back. He couldn’t remember ever wanting to be away from Michael, but at this moment nowhere felt far away enough. “He sounded like he really wanted me to go with him, but I had to say no because of today.” He moved further away. “I really wanted to go, too, to be honest. It sounded cool.”

“Yeah?” Michael sounded quieter. Maybe that was just because of the distance between them.

“So if you’re going to hang out with someone else, then I guess it’s okay if I go, too?”

Michael didn’t answer for a minute. “Yeah. No, yeah, that’s great. Works out for both of us, huh?”

Alex turned around so Michael didn’t see his face fall. “Yeah,” he said, and began walking away. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Before Michael could say anything else, Alex pulled out his phone. He wouldn’t dial until he rounded the corner and was out of Michael’s sight. He fell back against the wall, his legs giving out under him. He held the phone to his forehead, breathing deeply.

Kyle, he knew, was on a camping trip for the weekend with his dad. Liz was busy working shifts at the Crashdown.

It’s okay, Alex told himself. It’s okay. You don’t need anybody. It’s okay.

He may not have needed anyone, but he didn’t want to be alone today. So he dialed Max’s name, and held the phone to his ear.

It rung twice, then Max answered. “Alex?” There was hesitation in his voice that made Alex blush. Was he not actually expecting Alex to call?

“Er – hey,” Alex murmured, and rubbed his face with one hand. “Look, t-turns out I’m free today after all . . . If you . . . still want to go to the museum . . .”

Max didn’t answer for a long few seconds.

“O-Or not,” he said quickly, “doesn’t really matter to me, I just thought –”

“Yeah!” Max said, “Yeah, I’m – sorry, I was changing. I’m ready to go when you are! Where do you want me to meet you?”

Alex’s shoulders slumped. He felt a strange relief trickling through his chest, but it didn’t ease the weight on his heart. He muttered, “Wherever you want. Just text me the address.”

He waited for Max’s okay, then hung up. He rested his chin on his knees as he waited for the message to come in, closing his eyes and promising himself that he would not cry.

Max didn’t live in a house. He lived in a mansion. The two story villa stretched out over a valley of cacti and desert flowers, the windows long and the front doors big enough to fit ten grown men standing side by side. Michael had once told Alex how he’d sneak in through his brother and sister’s windows, and Alex now had to wonder how.

No sooner had he gotten to the door than Max came stumbling out, a bag thrown over his shoulder.

“Hey,” he panted, “let’s go.”

Without waiting for Alex’s greeting, he bodily turned Alex around and nudged him back toward the road. Alex was not new to being hidden away by boys who’d rather their parents not see him, but he’d already had his plans with Michael ruined, and was in no mood to humor any homophobia.

“What?” he sighed. “Afraid mommy and daddy will know you asked out a guy?”

Max blinked, surprised. He stopped. “What’re you talking about? I’m not trying to hide you from my parents.” He looked over his shoulder as if remembering they were supposed to be in a hurry, and frog-marched Alex away again.

“Oh?” Alex rolled his eyes. He tried to ground his heels to make it harder for Max but had no will to do it. He was tired, but anything was better than spending the day curled up in bed, abandoned and pitiful. “The who are we trying to hide from?”

“My . . . crap . . .” Max trailed off, and, following his gaze, Alex understood why. At the end of the road, her arms crossed, her purse hanging off one elbow, was Isobel Evans. She did not look happy.

“Sneaking off?” she demanded. “Who do you think you are? Michael?”

“Isobel,” Max warned. “Not now.”

“Did you honestly think you could hide your date?” Isobel narrowed her eyes at Alex. “Huh. You weren’t kidding. It really is Alex Manes.” She reached a hand towards his face. “You were right, he is very pretty –”

“Isobel,” Max slid in between Alex and Isobel, forbidding her from touching him. “I never said that.” Then to Alex, “I never said that. N-Not that you’re not – I mean, clearly you are –”

He shook his head, and turned back to Isobel, his jaw clenched. “I’m not kidding, leave us alone.”

Isobel was relentless, tilting her head over her brother’s shoulder, since she was almost as tall as he was. “Oh, what do you think I’m going to do, Max? Get out of the way, let me look at him!”

“Alex,” Max said, his wary eyes on his sister, “I am so sorry about this.”

“Sorry about what?” she demanded. “I didn’t do anything! Get out of the way, Max! Do you have any idea how rare it is to get a look at him this up close?!”

“He’s not an octopus, Isobel!”

“It’s a compliment!” She told Alex, “It’s a compliment, it means you’re really cute.”

“We have to go,” Max insisted, fending off his sister’s reaching hands. “We have a thing at the museum and –”

“What museum? Why didn’t you invite me? I want to come with you!”

“NO!”

“Why not?”

“Because you’ll make it weird!”

“What does that even mean? Scared I’ll embarrass you in front of your new boyfriend?”

“Isobel!”

Watching them, Alex should’ve been annoyed. But Max was being gentle with his sister, and Isobel’s eyes were so genuine that Alex could tell her curiosity was innocent and eager. There didn’t seem to be a malicious bone in either of their bodies.

Crouching behind a building just half an hour ago, Alex had not thought he’d be able to smile for the rest of the day. Now, a giggle escaped his lips before he could help it.

Max and Isobel stopped and stared, wide eyed. Max’s cheeks were tinted pink. Alex pretended not to notice.

“Isobel,” he said wearily, “you want to come with us?”

Isobel looked momentarily surprised, then pleased, a satisfied grin stretching across her pink lips. She lightly shouldered her way past Max and hooked her arm around Alex’s.

“I like him,” Isobel said cheerfully, and pulled Alex down the road. Alex looked over his shoulder at Max, who blinked out of his haze and ran to catch up to them.

“Why would you invite her?” Max murmured.

Alex took one look at Isobel and smiled, something about her radiant demeanor an interesting contrast to the darkness he lived in. Maybe it was having a writer with him, maybe it was that he was kind of a writer himself, but he thought there was a fascinating story here between the three of them.

To Max, however, he merely shrugged a shoulder and smirked.

“Come on, Evans,” he said. “I wouldn’t want you to think this was a date.”

Max again blushed, and Alex again pretended not to notice.

Ahhhh here it is!!! Finally!!!

I know only three to four people may enjoy this, but I wrote it mostly for me, so my expectations are low. Or, I should say, that’s how I’m trying to keep them. Don’t ask me how long until the next chapter comes up, this is just supposed to be fun. Any questions about updates shall be ignored.

That said, if you did enjoy it, comment! Tell me what you liked, if it was funny, angsty, if it’s not your kind of thing but you decided to give it a chance anyway - I love that stuff. And share/reblog. You may not have liked it, but maybe someone else really will!

#alex manes #max evans #sheriff manes #max x alex #sheriff manes fic #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #sheriff manes fanfic #sheriff manes fanfiction #tyler blackburn #nathan dean parsons

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aomine-ryo · 3 years

Note

Ah the requests are open! I'd like to request Aomine, Kise and Kagami reactions if their gf shouted 'i hate you' during an angsty argument. Of course she didn't mean but was very hurt. Thank you in advance and thank you for provoding KnB content 💙

Ah yes i love some good angst 😌 I hope you enjoy xx

Scenario: Kise, Aomine and Kagami’s reactions to their s/o shouting “I hate you” during an argument

Kise

Jealousy was an ugly emotion and you knew that. You generally never got that jealous with Kise though. Especially considering that he was constantly surrounded by other models and fangirls, you were surprisingly very chill with him. I mean, you couldn’t blame him, it came with the job. Plus you knew that you could trust him so it didn’t bother you as much as one would expect.

Recently though, Kise had been rather busy and he wasn’t able to spend as much time with you as he’d like. While that sucked in itself, he’d always be around other girls when you did have the time to spend with him, like during recess and after school when you walked together. And they were so obviously flirting with him, but he didn’t seem to have a clue.

You didn’t want to bring up though because you didn’t want to come off as a controlling person that restricted him from talking to others. So you ignored it for a while.

However, the amount of time he’d spend with you slowly lessened and lessened and eventually, on a particularly bad day, you finally snapped. You were meant to be walking home with him after school, so you waited for him at your usual spot by the school gates. But after a good ten minutes, he didn’t show up. Confused and slightly annoyed, you went back into the school in search of your boyfriend. While it didn’t take long to find him in the school courtyard, you began to wish that you didn’t because it just fuelled your already bad mood with rage.

He was just standing there with three other girls, laughing along with them as if he didn’t have somewhere else to be. You don’t get mad often- especially not in public- but your emotions had been building up for weeks and you were in an awful mood. Before you knew it, you were storming over to Kise.

“Y/N-cchi! I was just about to come meet you. Let me introduce—“

“Are you kidding me? Kise, I’ve been waiting for you for the past ten minutes and you were just chatting here?” you scolded, your volume causing all four of them to be taken aback. You shot the girls a glare, resulting in them excusing themselves to leave you two alone.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t notice the time go by,” he replied softly, hurt by the fact that you called him ‘Kise’ rather than your usual ‘babe’ or ‘Ryouta’.

“You’re the one who’s always too busy to spend time with me and now you’re here losing track of time with girls you barely even know!”

“They were just being friendly, what would people think of me if I just brushed them off?” he said defensively.

“Kise, they were far from just friendly. They were so obviously flirting with you. One of them had her hands all over you and you just fucking let her!” you yelled, becoming completely unhinged at this point.

“Y/N-cchi, you’re being ridiculous. Just forget about it. Come on, let’s just walk home, cool?” He said with a sigh, which only made you angrier.

“I’m not being ridiculous,” you said firmly, tears of frustration welling up in your eyes.

“Well, what do you want me to say?” He snapped, finally losing his cool too. “That I’m sorry my life doesn’t revolve around you?”

“You know that’s not what I meant! Don’t try to turn this around on me,” you replied, letting the tears roll down your cheeks.

“That’s what it sounds like to me,” he shouted. You felt a pang in your heart at the way he raised his voice at you and you felt yourself finally get thrown off the edge.

“I can’t believe you right now! I hate you!”

Kise’s expression immediately fell at the sound of those words. It quickly made him realise the absurdity of what he was saying.

At that point, you were so frustrated that you decided to just walk away, wiping the tears with the back of your hand. It took a few moments but Kise’s footsteps soon followed you. “Y/N-cchi wait! I’m sorry!” He said, hastily grabbing your arm to stop you. It took him a second to realise that tears had begun to blur his own vision. “Please don’t hate me,” he said softly.

You paused for a moment, feeling bad that you had made him cry too. “I don’t hate you,” you muttered, hearing the word come out of his mouth made you realise how harsh it sounded. “I wouldn’t be this mad if I hated you.”

“I won’t talk to them anymore. And I promise I’ll make more time for you. Why don’t we go grab a coffee or something together?” Kise suggested, interlacing his fingers with yours while the other hand reached up to wipe the tears off your cheeks.

“That sounds nice,” You sniffled with a smile, your anger and hurt finally subsiding. “I’m sorry for yelling at you like that. I was just scared that you’d think they were better than me.”

Kise pressed his lips against yours with nothing but care and tenderness, almost as if to reassure you that he was all yours without having to say a word. But just in case you didn’t understand, he smiled at you once his lips parted from yours, “You’re the only one I want. That won’t ever change- I promise.”

Aomine

As much as you loved Aomine, dating him came with a lot of work which could easily exhaust you if you didn’t have the patience that you do. He was dreamy, sweet and truly a piece of art in general, however he was also extremely lazy when it came to a lot of things. Homework, projects and reminding him of various commitments he had was amongst the various responsibilities you had taken on when you started dating him. For the most part, you didn’t care too much because you often managed to convince him to do it himself in the end, but there were times where he genuinely ticked you off.

One day in particular, you were rather exhausted after a long day at school and you were hanging out at Aomine’s house like you usually would. As he flipped through his gravure magazine next to you, you laid down on his bed, scrolling through your phone as a way to unwind. His phone began to ring, disrupting the peaceful silence that filled the room and he quickly picked it up. “Yo, what’s up?” he answered. “Oh shit that was today? I forgot... Fuck it. I’ll join some other time... Bye.”

Aomine put his phone down with an annoyed groan, making you curious as to what that conversation was about. “What’s wrong? Who was that?” you inquired, still scrolling absentmindedly.

“It was Kise. I was supposed to go play with him and the others today. Didn’t I tell you to remind me about it?”

“Oh right, you did. I’m sorry, it slipped my mind,” you replied.

Aomine clicked his tongue in annoyance, “Dammit, I wanted to play,” he whined.

You weren’t sure why— perhaps it was the tiredness— but you felt as though that comment was accusatory towards you and it sparked this feeling of anger within you. “Then maybe you should’ve remembered yourself,” you retorted, sarcasm oozing from your tone.

“Well if I could do that, I wouldn’t have asked you to remind me, would I?” Aomine replied, perfectly matching your tone, which made your blood boil.

“Why is that my responsibility? I’m constantly busting my ass trying to do shit for you. I’m your s/o, not your personal assistant, Daiki,” you snapped, your voice suddenly getting louder.

Whilst Aomine knew that you were right, his stubborn mind didn’t want to admit it. “If you had a problem with it, you could’ve just said so instead of making me miss out on my plans,” he said harshly.

“Oh so it’s my fault that you don’t have the mental capacity to remember things that go on in your own damn life?” you questioned sarcastically.

“Yes!” Aomine yelled back almost instantly without thinking.

You sat up and scoffed. “You’re despicable, Aomine. Go fucking play then. I’ll leave!”

“No, it’s too late now. I’ve missed it thanks to you,” he muttered, picking up his magazine again.

You narrowed your eyes at him in frustration as you angrily gathered your things. “I’m leaving. You’re the absolute worst. I hate you!” you shouted, clenching your jaw to stop yourself from crying.

Aomine froze upon hearing those words come out of your mouth. “You what?” he said softly, even though he heard you clear as day. He just couldn’t believe that you had actually said it.

“Nothing,” you mumbled, knowing you shouldn’t have said something so harsh when you didn’t even remotely mean it.

“You hate me?” he repeated, wondering whether his pride was really worth having you say words like that.

“I didn’t mean it. But you’re being ridiculous,” you said, still standing your ground.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, standing up and approaching you. “I’m being such a dick. I’ll sort my shit out- I swear. Just don’t say those words to me, please,” he said, holding your face in his palms and desperately looking into your eyes, unable to fathom how much those words stung. He didn’t even want to imagine a scenario in which you’d hated him because it would absolutely wreck him.

Looking into those pained blue eyes, you couldn’t help but melt as your frustration resided. “I won’t say it again. I’m sorry,” you whispered assuringly.

Aomine placed a kiss on your forehead and pulled you into a hug. “I love you, Y/N,” he mumbled.

“I love you too, Daiki.”

Kagami

Kagami loved basketball. That was a given. You adored how passionate he was towards it and you it made you happy seeing how much he enjoyed the sport. However, sometimes you’d wonder if that was truly all he cared about. He’d spend almost all his time either at practice or playing around with his friends and he barely left any time for you anymore.

It had been a while since you’ve been able to spend time with Kagami and you had finally been able to get away with planning an afternoon with him after school at your place. You planned to cuddle up together with some snacks and watch a movie— it was going to be perfect. That whole school day you were incredibly excited; you walked around with a hop in your step and a smile on your face.

Finally, the end of the school day had arrived and you headed to meet Kagami outside school, like you’d agreed to. When you got outside, you saw him chatting with Kuroko and Hyuga but he quickly excused himself when he saw you approaching him.

“Hey beautiful,” he smiled.

“Taiga! I’m so excited for today,” you grinned, greeting him with a hug.

“Uh, about that,” Kagami paused and pulled away to rub the back of his neck nervously. Hearing those words alone made your smile quickly change into a disappointed frown. “The Winter Cup is around the corner and the team is gonna do a bit of extra practice today at the gym. Can I get a rain check on this date?”

“Are you serious?” you muttered, exasperation in your voice.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I promise I’ll make some time for you later,” he said.

“You say that, but you never do. You play basketball every single minute you get. Can you really not spare even a single afternoon for me?” you questioned softly, feeling a strange mixture of anger and hurt.

“Y/N, you know how important basketball is to me,” he replied, trying to meet your eyes but they were fixated on the floor.

“I do, but honestly, it seems like it’s the only importance in your life.”

“Don’t be like that. You know that you’re important to me too,” Kagami frowned, reaching to put an arm on your shoulder, but your frustration caused you to shove it away almost immediately.

“Well, you certainly don’t act like it,” you snapped back. “But whatever, go play I guess,” you shrugged, spite in your tone as you began to walk away.

“Y/N, don’t be mad at me— it’s childish,” Kagami called out, making you stop in your tracks. It was like he was asking you to get mad at him.

“Childish?” you repeated. “Kagami it’s not a fucking relationship if you’re not going to spend any time with me! I’ve been nothing but patient towards you playing basketball thinking that at some point you’ll set some time aside for me, but turns out you couldn’t care less about that!”

“We can talk about this later,” Kagami sighed, realising that you were in public. “I’m going to play. I’ll text you okay?”

“Don’t even bother texting me— you’re fucking outrageous,” you chuckled, finding it absolutely unbelievable how thick he was. “I hate you!”

Kagami felt his heart sink as he watched you storm off. Suddenly basketball became the least of his concerns. He couldn’t just leave things like this. It would absolutely wreck him. Almost instantly, Kagami rushed after you. “Y/N! Please wait!” he called out, quickly reaching for your hand to get you to stop.

While you did stop, you immediately pulled your arm away from him in anger. “What? Shouldn’t you be going to play?” you snapped, tears streaming down your face.

“That doesn’t matter. Just please, don’t leave things like this; don’t hate me,” he pleaded, feeling himself getting teary eyed upon seeing you crying.

You paused for a moment, realising the weight of the words you spat out in the heat of the argument. “I didn’t mean that,” you said softly. “I just hate how I never get to see you anymore.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll just skip out on practice today,” Kagami said.

“You don’t have to do that. We can hang out some other time,” you sighed and sniffled, not wanting to guilt trip him into spending time with you.

“No, I want to spend time with you now. You’re right. I play basketball all the time anyways. I need to give you attention too,”he insisted, reaching for your hand again and giving it a tight squeeze.

“Alright,” you said, wiping the tears with the back your hand. “I’m sorry about saying that I hate you. That was stupid.”

To your surprise, Kagami pulled you into a tight hug, holding you as if he was going to lose you. “That scared me so much, Y/N,” he admitted, resting his chin on the top of your head. “I love you so much. I genuinely thought I’d lost you.”

“I love you so much too,” you said into his chest, hugging him back. “I guess I was scared I’d lose you to basketball or something.”

Kagami kissed the top of your head. “You won’t lose me, I promise.”

#kuroko no basket #kurokos basketball #kuroko no basket x reader #aomine daiki #kise ryouta #kagami taiga #knb #kise ryota #generation of miracles

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deepdonutkid · 3 years

Text

The forsaken road

Requested: yes by anon

Summary: You have been gone for a year now, even though Finn and you have been friend since ever. Now he is trying to convince you to come back to Birmingham.

Author’s note:

Finn is a little sassy, but this is supposed to be a close friend and usually nobody is shy around close friends. Maybe he got the usual Shelby sass.

This was super funny to write and I hope I did the request right. This thing whole x reader thing is still new to me.

The reader is female, I couldn’t work around that. I’m sorry. There are only two times or so, when the reader is referred to as “she.”

Requests are still open~ If you want to request something or want to be added to my tag list, just write me!

John is dead in this one q.q

And the reader is stubborn as fuck

Word count: 4260

Warnings: major character death, swearing

It was the first time Finn was nervous behind the steering wheel. Even when he started driving, he felt completely comfortable with it. Cars just were his thing and he wasn’t the only one to notice. Tommy himself chose Finn to be his driver more than once and Finn was a good driver. He didn’t panic nor did he take unnecessary risks.

But this time it was different. He was alone in the car, nobody by his side and his destination was on the countryside. Far away from his usual ways. His hands clung around the leather wheel. The grip so tight, his knuckles shined white. Nevertheless, this was important and he had worries, if he would find the small cottage in the middle of nowhere. Polly drew the way on his map, so he wouldn’t get lost, but he still feared, what would happen, if it was getting dark and he was still driving.

With all his might he tried to push his insecurities away. These wouldn’t help him find his way through the unknown. And it was not like he had another choice. You didn’t seem to return to Birmingham by yourself, so he needed to get you back. Actually, he didn’t understand why you left in the first place. You had a job and friends, who cared about you and yet you left in the middle of the night, without even saying goodbye. You should have come at least to him, your best friend.

When Isiah told him, he refused to believe it. Maybe it was just a bad joke. You wouldn’t run off without a word… and yet you did. The realization knocked him down. Finn couldn’t imagine his life without you and now he had to. Even worse, he didn’t know why. He thought, he meant as much to you as you did to him. Apparently this wasn’t the case. You left him heartbroken and he would never say that out loud, but he cried.

And yet, he wasn’t over you. Somehow he just couldn’t forget you. The way you smiled, when he cracked a joke or when a new pint of beer arrived at the table. He missed the smell of your hair, when you leaned against his shoulder late at night. Or that one time you held hands under the table at the Garrison. You swore Bonnie saw the innocent act, but Finn doubted it. You had some much fun together and now everything was gone with the wind.

That was the reason, why he took the forsaken road. If he couldn’t bring you back, he needed at least an explanation. Otherwise he would never have a peaceful sleep again. He had prepared everything he would say. There were a couple of things on his mind and he needed to say them. Hopefully you would listen. Finn thought about the whole scenario over and over again. And even when you would be as stubborn as ever, he had one last option.

His heart jumped, when he noticed the small cottage down the road. This had to be it. The house of your aunt and her husband. Now it was just a few meters ahead of him and he was getting even more nervous. The hands were all sweaty and his knees started to shake as he pulled into the driveway.

The motor stopped and everything was dead silent for a while. Finn was too scared to move and froze right on the driver’s seat. Inside of him there was a voice yelling at him to get out of the fucking car and ask you, why you had to break his heart. But he couldn’t, not until he heard steps on the gravel path that went around the house. Wary like a watch-dog he turned his head to see who was coming.

Until now he was worried, that he might have the wrong address… or you wouldn’t be there anymore… or something worse. Now he had his proof. You stood just not far away from him and yet it felt like you were miles away. Finn stumbled out of the car and ran to you, before you could hide in the house.

“Hey”, you managed to say, while you couldn’t believe your own eyes. After all this time you spend dreaming about him, he was here. Right in front of you. Suddenly you had a lump in your throat and your heart was racing. This reunion seemed so surreal and you doubted you would like how this would turn out. You knew that he wasn’t pleased with the way things ended. It was visible in his face. His cheeks were so red, his freckles weren’t even visible.

And even though he seemed so angry, all you wanted right now was to pull him in for a long hug. Of course, you missed him. He was your best friend and you had spent so many great nights together with the others at the Garrison. But still you couldn’t move and prepared for the worst.

“Hey!” he yelled: “Fucking finally.”

Nobody moved, but you felt the tension. You knew you should say something, anything, but there were no words to explain your inner tumult.

Finn signed and added: “You should have said this months ago.”

Slowly you nodded. Unable to speak, it was the least you could do. And he was right though. You should have had that conversation sooner, but you feared it so much, that you just packed your things and went.

Then you heard something, you certainly didn’t expect. “I missed you.”

You hadn’t comprehended this sentence and suddenly you felt his arms around you.

He whispered in your ear: “Every fucking day, Y/N.”

It was the long hug you needed and it gave you the idea, that maybe and just maybe things weren’t as bad as you thought. With croaked voice you mumbled: “I missed you too.”

But you were wrong. Things were bad and four soft spoken words couldn’t obliterate one year in misery. He pulled away and the look on his face was quite surprised as he asked: “Then why you left?”

Your mouth was dry as you tried to prepare some kind of an answer, certainly not a good one. It felt like your lips were glued together and even when you tried to open it, it wouldn’t work.

His hands caressed your cheeks. “What was the reason? Why did you leave me?”

“I was…”, you begun to say, but paused to take a deep breath: “I was scared.”

“Of me?” he asked with concern in his eyes.

You shook your head. “No… of course not.”

Right now you felt more feelings in the glimpse of this moment than ever in your life. It was like a rollercoaster. Everything went up and down. Yes, you were happy, he got all the way here, just to see you again, but you still feared this conversation. Running away was stupid, you knew, there was just no other option to get out of this mess.

Your body shivered as you felt his warm breath on your chest. “What were you scared of?”

How could you answer it? There was no easy way to say it.

“Of Tommy?” You shook your head, while tears filled your eyes. “Arthur?”

“No”, you whispered: “Don’t be silly. Nobody from your family was the problem.”

His frustration reached a peak. He got even louder as he shouted: “Then tell me who!”

You winced, because he frightened you. Even though he was the sweetest and most innocent of the four Shelby brothers, Finn still got the temper. And this time you really deserved it.

“Nobody”, you cried: “I was just scared.”

Finn took another step back. His hands left your cheeks gently, but were clenched into fists just seconds after. “Of what?” he repeated once again.

This time you tried to explain: “I don’t know. I thought something bad would happen. I could feel it coming.” There wasn’t a clear sign, when you knew you couldn’t be there anymore. This feeling grew inside of you for a long time. While being friends with the Shelbys you have witnessed violence, drug abuse, gang fights and other things, you weren’t ready for.

Things that changed you until you couldn’t sleep anymore and you couldn’t breathe anymore. That was the reason why you left. But of course, Finn didn’t seem to understand it. The tiny wheels in his head kept turning, but he still looked clueless.

“Why?” he whispered with a face like he seemed to choke on his own words.

You had to reach out for him, pulled him into a hug and patted his back. “I was scared of losing you”, you said. It didn’t even sound like your voice, not stubborn and strong as always but very weak and broken.

He wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you until you couldn’t breathe. “But why then… I had to lose you?”

Just when you were about to answer, he added: “I mean… this year without you was horrible. All the sudden you were gone and you took all the colors with you. Everything seemed so bleak. Nobody could cheer me up. I couldn’t… do anything without you. I was useless after you left… and you didn’t even tell me yourself. Isaiah noticed, you weren’t at home and then I asked Polly and she confirmed it. You know, I thought it was all my fault… because what happened the night before.”

That night. Yes, you did remember that. Actually you planned to tell him on that fateful night, that you were leaving, but after he kissed you and you kissed him, you couldn’t bring yourself to confess. You bit your lip.

“It wasn’t your fault”, you mumbled. Your fingers were running through his hair so careful, as if he would break, if the pressure was slightly higher. “It was mine. The night was great, but I couldn’t be in Birmingham at that time.”

He lifted his head to look you in the eyes. There were so many questions in his mind. You could see it.

“After John’s death I knew, I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you the same way. Shot multiple times. My feelings for you were to strong. I had loved you and your end would have been mine as well. Every time, we met at the Garrison, I feared some day you wouldn’t show up, because you were lying dead somewhere. I’m not the type of person who would seek revenge but more the type of person who would crumble to pieces”, you professed.

But this wasn’t even the end of the story. Finn was keen to say something. You shushed him. “I wasn’t done yet.”

“With the time I had realized this wasn’t the life I wanted. I wasn’t ready for all this violence and I still think it would ruin me. When I still did snow, it was okay. I could tolerate the fact that everything we had was bought by blood. But when I stopped doing drugs, I felt sick every time I saw what your brothers did to defend their power.”

Slowly you let him go. Not as sudden as the last time. He forced you to explain it and you did as he wished, but you knew, this wouldn’t make better.

You just weren’t the right person for him, even though you loved him. Others might have stayed, but it was too much for you.

Now the both of you were crying. When he realized, that things hadn’t changed, he felt worse than before. “You had loved me?” he asked like he couldn’t believe his own voice.

“Actually… I still do”, you confessed: “Not a single day has passed, I didn’t think about you.”

Finn stared at you. “Why didn’t say something sooner?” The red vanished from his face and it left him even paler than before.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought you wouldn’t feel the same way.”

“But I do!” he protested: “I always have.”

It was what you wanted to hear, even though now it was too late. It didn’t matter anymore. You decided to stay here. Maybe the life in the small cottage was boring, but at least it was peaceful. From morning till dawn you spend your time in the garden or in the kitchen and nothing bad ever happened, unlike all that drama in Small Heath.

You glared at the cloudless sky. It was a warm, yet windy day, just like it was one year ago, when the husband of your aunt picked you up at a station nearby. Back then you thought you would never see him again. Now he was standing here and declared his love for you. Should this feel like a happy end?

“Maybe… it’s too late”, you murmured. The time for sweeping love declarations was months ago. Finally you wiped the wetness from your cheeks.

At first Finn just gazed in abstraction, then he frowned. “What?”

“Maybe it’s time for you to leave. You don’t want to get lost in the dark.” Yes, you pushed him away, but it has been hard enough for you to forget him. His family still had shady business and they would always have enemies. Neither could Finn escape them nor you, if you were his girlfriend.

“Fuck no.”

Now you were baffled by his words. With an intense glare you stared at him. This was very unlikely for him, which made you think, he might have changed while you were gone.

“Stop making decision for me. Everybody else already does this. I won’t leave until we had a proper talk.”

Obviously, you were lost in translation. Didn’t you just have that talk, did you? “Tell me what you want to know”, you demanded, while you crossed your arms in front of your chest.

Finn took another step towards you. “Just tell me why we should not be together. I mean, I love you and you love me and yet you keep pushing me away.” He held out his hand for you to grab it. You didn’t.

“Love isn’t everything Finn”, you argued: “I want safety.”

Just when you were about to explain this further the front door opened behind Finn. Your aunt stepped out of the house. “Dinner is ready, Y/N.”

“I’m coming”, you said as you were on your way to the dinner table. The young Shelby followed you with his eyes. This talk had come to an end, at least in your opinion, but Finn didn’t seem to agree with you.

He grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze, while he begged you silently to stay.

“I heard you two talking”, your aunt tossed in: “You were pretty loud, dear.”

Your cheeks were getting hot. This was embarrassing. Since you left Birmingham, you had found a new home here in the middle of nowhere. Your aunt was sweet and caring. She never had children and loved the idea of getting a little help around the house. Now she had heard why you had fled.

And again you had no good apology. But this time you didn’t even have to say something. Your aunt did. “Now come inside. It’s getting cold and your boyfriend probably wants to eat something after the long drive.”

You babbled some incoherent words, while Finn started smiling like an angel. “Thank you. I sure would love to have dinner with you, Mrs.” he nodded.

Since you were still completely overwhelmed with this whole situation, Finn guided you to the entrance. When you realized, he was about to enter the house, you started moving yourself and picked up the pace.

Inside you noticed the fourth plate on the dinner table. Your aunt had already planned to invite him in. What a back-stabbing bitch.

You glared at her with passionate hate. Yeah, okay, you loved Finn, but this still didn’t mean you could have a life with him, a known gangster. However your aunt disrupted your plans to forget about him. Now he thought he still could turn things around, which wasn’t possible.

“You can sit here, sweetie”, she said and pointed at a chair. Finn followed her order and took place.

This damn smile wouldn’t leave his darn beautiful face. With clenching fists you sat down right in front of him. “After this… you’re leaving”, you threatened him.

Pointless, but you tried. Of course, you didn’t know that Finn thought you were the cutest, when you tried to intimidate someone.

“We’ll see about that”, he grinned and then turned to your aunt: “This house is beautiful…. But it was very hard to find.”

Your aunt giggled and put a steaming pot in the middle of the table. Inside of it was a delicious stew and the smell filled the room. “Well, it’s very quiet here and the sea is nearby. Maybe Y/N can show you the beach. You probably know, how stubborn she can be.”

Finn burst out in laughter and agreed: “Yes, she can be quite a pain in the ass, but she is still my best friend. Everybody back home missed her so much. I had hoped to bring her back for a couple of days… She said no.”

“Wait…”, you interrupted him: “Who said that?”

“What?”

“That they missed me?”

Finn was surprised for the glimpse of a second, and then he laughed. “Everybody! Isiah said it a couple of times. Bonnie too! Arthur said he missed hearing you singing drunk in the Garrison. And Esme said the fair isn’t half as funny without you.”

Your mouth formed a silent “Oh” like you just realized that you had left everybody behind and not just Finn.

He made a wiggly movement with his hands. “You probably won’t believe me but… even Michael said something is different since you left.”

You gave him a skeptic stare and just shook your head. “No fucking way.” Not even in a thousand years Michael would say something like that and not about you from all people. He was a jerk who would always make snarky side comments about you and you would do the same about him. It wasn’t friendship- not even close, even though you had the same group of friends.

“Yes, of course he did. Everybody is sad that you left without saying goodbye”, he responded and hiked his shoulders.

Slowly, your head turned towards your empty plate. Maybe leaving like this was kinda selfish.

Your aunt was filling the bowls with stew, when her husband arrived though the backdoor. His face was stained with dirt, but his eyes widened as he noticed Finn. “Who is that?” he growled and sat down at the table.

“Y/N’s boyfriend. He came all the way from the city to see her again.” Apparently your aunt thought she was being funny.

Her husband didn’t seem to be happy with that answer either. He grunted and then began to eat his dinner in silence.

Finn’s cheeks were red once again, but this time it wasn’t anger. He was nervous. “Nice to meet you, Mr. I’m Finn Shelby.” You heard it in his voice.

Your uncle nodded and didn’t stop shoveling stew in his mouth for one second. He wasn’t a man of many words. More like the silent type of guy. You liked it. At least he wasn’t as noisy as your aunt.

The dinner was exhausting. Your aunt kept asking Finn all types of questions and he was hesitant to answer most of them. Once or twice you helped him out. He was still your friend and seeing him in discomfort made you feel the same.

And the discomfort didn’t end with the dinner. “Finn, dear, it’s already dark outside. Do you still want to go back today? We still have a guestroom. You can stay there, if you want to? You two still have so much to talk about.” The suggestion of your aunt may seem nice, but it was meant to torture you.

“Oh, that’s so nice”, he said: “Thank you. I just have to get some things of mine from the car.”

Finally he stood up. You followed him back to his car. Now you had at least the opportunity to talk him out of this stupid idea. He shouldn’t be here and both of you knew it. Tommy would be furious with him, if he left for so long.

“You can’t stay”, you decided.

With a wide grin on his face he replied: “Oh, sure I can. Your aunt said it… and since you’re not my girlfriend… you can’t make decision for me.” He poked your nose and smiled.

Then he turned around to his car and opened trunk. It was full of all kinds of stuff. Why did he need a dress? And it wasn’t even his color!

You took a deep breath before pointing out the obvious: “What the fuck is this?”

“Gifts”, Finn answered: “When I said, I would be visiting you everybody gave me something for you.”

Now you had to take a closer look of the ragbag of things inside of the trunk. The Shelby coughed slightly and explained: “The dress is from Ada and the jewelry box is from Isaiah… but don’t worry, his sister chose it. Tommy gave you a bottle of gin. He started making some, while you were gone. Actually… I took the bottle, but it doesn’t matter. Tommy bribes everybody to try his gin. It’s the family recipe. And Bonnie got you a scarf. Well… it’s all kind of stuff.”

“I can’t accept that.” It was too much and too expensive. You were never part of the family, just Finn’s little friend.

Finn clucked his tongue. “Yes, you can.” Then he started to put some gifts in your arms.

“Let’s get this stuff inside and then go to the beach your aunt mentioned.”

You were ready to argue and yet you had nothing left to say. “Why are you so stubborn all the sudden?” you asked.

He took the rest and closed the trunk again, before responding: “Because usually you’re the bone head of us, but this time I have something to say and I’m not leaving until you heard it”

“Trust me just once. This is important”, he added with stern eyes and stroked your cheek with his finger.

When he looked at you like that, something inside you melted and you got weak in your knees. There was something undeniably sexy about him. Your head felt so hot when you squeaked: “Fine.”

Then you walked together with him back to the house and put the things in your room. Finn was prying, but you didn’t stay long enough for him to snoop around.

After you were done, you pulled him out of your room again. “You were never interested in my stuff. Why now?”

“Well, I wanted to know which things you kept and which things you had thrown away”, he explained as the both of you walked out of the house.

You crossed your arms before your chest and argued: “My other stuff is in my old room in Birmingham… but it’s not like I had so much to take with me.”

Finn was just about to walk in the wrong direction, so you took his hand and pulled him back. “It’s this way to the beach.”

“Okay, take the lead, lady”, he laughed: “But you still wear the necklace I got you.”

Immediately, your hand searched the pendant. It was nothing expensive, however it was very important to you, because Finn gave it to you on your birthday. “Well, I said I would never take it off.”

“Good”, he nodded and glanced at the sky with all his stars. He was more than a head taller than you, so you couldn’t see how happy your words made him.

Then you walked in silence to the beach. It was even windier here and you forgot to take your jacket, because you just wanted to get over with this and then go back to your boring life.

Finn noticed your shivering and put his coat on your shoulders, which made you smile. It has been a while since you felt like that. Your tummy rumbled in excitement.

“I still have one last gift for you”, he whispered.

You looked up and down, but you didn’t find it. “Where?”

His handy were jittery, when he said: “Promise me you think about it at least for one second, before saying no.”

“Of course”, you answered and took his hand so he wouldn’t be distracted. Your fingers intertwined with his and you smiled again. “C’mon, Finny, what is it you want to talk about?”

Slowly he went down on one knee. By that time you knew what he was going to say, but you still couldn’t believe it. He pulled out a small box and presented you a very beautiful ring, before saying: “Marry me.”

Your head was empty. All you could do was staring at him.

“I’m serious, Y/N. If you agree to be my wife, you won’t have to worry about your safety anymore. Then you’re part of the family and everybody would protect you. And I need you in my life. This year- without you- was the worst in my life. After losing my brother and almost my cousin I lost you too. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep and I missed you more than you could imagine. Please come back with me… or at least think about it, before you’re being stubborn again.”

Tagging: @bonniesgoldengirl

#finn shelby x you #finn shelby #finny shelby #peaky blinders #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders imagine #peaky fucking blinders #peaky fookin blinders #peaky blinders fandom #harry kirton #finn shelby x reader #finn shelby x female reader #marriage proposal

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alexwritesfiction · 3 years

Text

heaven

word count: 2k

tw // mcd

A/N: This is an emotional scene so take care lmao

I take a deep breath and step up on the alter, my nerves wracking. Anxiety sets in, the only question on mind as to where Xavier could be. And what did Aleander mean by gift?

As more time passes by, the looks on our families’ faces grow worried, making me even more nauseated. I can't believe he's late on our wedding day. As pissed off as I am, i can't help but want to call him and make sure he's alright. A bad feeling sets itself in my stomach. I'm gonna kill him.

“Where is he?” I almost growl at Ray, who’s standing just a few feet away from the steps.

“I don’t know, Cath,” he whispers in a shaky voice, and I know he's freaking out too. Xavier means so much to him, he knows that today was important to him. I can tell by his face that he can't comprehend why he wouldn’t be here on time.

I try to calm myself down, to not think about worst case scenarios, but my mind is a haze.

A ringtone cuts through the air and I can feel it in my heat that it's him. I sigh in relief.

Everyone’s eyes whips to Mom, who has my phone in her clutch. Her eyes widen as she frantically takes it out, almost stumbling as she tries to reach me.

I hurry to her and snatch it out of her hands, my fiancé’s name flashing on the screen with our photo from the baking session. My fingers shake as I look up to see everyone desperately waiting for me to pick the call. My fingers slide across the screen and the phone is barely put to my ear before I hear his faint voice.

“Principessa, how are you?” a small but firm voice speaks through the line. That’s all he's got to say? He's late and he's asking me how I am? My tolerance shoots through the roof as I try not to blow up.

“Xav, where are you right now? I'm here literally standing at the altar and you're not here and the officiant—” I rush out, only to be cut off.

“This is goodbye, baby,” he chokes out in a broken voice, and I try to imagine his face right now but I can't. my heart stops. Freezes for a second before completely dropping to my knees. The thing that scares me the most about this is that his voice is as serious as anything and I know he isn’t joking. He didn’t call me by my nickname, he just said goodbye.

A lightheaded feeling takes over my mind as I try to form a complete sentence to reply to him. I can't breathe, there's a heaviness in my chest that won't go away.

“What— Xav, what,” I stutter out. A beat passes before a small “no” falls from my lips and I feel everyone around me tense. I don’t have the mind to look at them and all I can concentrate on is how he just said goodbye.

“Marry me, principessa? Right now?”

And that does it, a tear escapes my eyes and I lose my cool. My ohone almost falls from my grip but I tighten it in my hand so much that I feel my knuckles turning white. I walk back up to the altar, I feel safe there. I wipe awy the stray tear and set my face into a firm expression , failing to let it seem like my soul didn’t just escape me.

“Get your ass down here, Xav, or I swear to god I'll hunt you down right now,” I almost growl out, and I hear a faint chuckle. I feel Ray pacing around and I look up at hik to see him on a phone call. I can hear him telling someone to find out where he is. He runs out to his car and I divert my attention back to him.

“Ray’s coming to get you, Xav. What’s going on?” I croak out, no longer able to hold back the desperation in my voice. I tremble as I speak, and Tahlia comes up behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I barely register to shoot her a grateful look but his next words break me.

“I'm so sorry, principessa, always and forever,” he says in a soothing voice, God darn it, Xav. It's only then that I register what’s happening. He promised to never say goodbye, and now he is. He promised he’d never go away and now I feel like he is. He said he’ll only ever say goodbye when of us is taking our last breaths when were old and wrinkly and he's saying it right now and I'm losing my control.

“No!” I exclaim, “I'm not letting you die on me, Xav! I won't! Don’t you even dare, you can't do this to me,” I say loudly, hating how my voice cracks at the end.

“Principessa, I accept you to forever be mine, and that youll forever live in my heart. I take you to be my wife till death do us apart. I do, Cath. Do you—”

He just said his vows.

“Yes! God yes, Xav. You don’t get to do this to me! This isn’t how it's supposed to work! We were supposed to have this…this magical ending and we were supposed to take on the world and you weren’t supposed to do this, Xav,” I cry.

We just got married, and he's not here

“We don’t always get our happy end, do we? And you, principessa, you were the biggest happiness of my life,” he says, sniffling. I can't hear him cry, haven't heard him since his mother’s death anniversary. It's unreal, to see him unravel. I don’t like how he's using past tense, like he's already not there.

“Xav, no, please, I love you so much, come back here, hold on a little while, baby, you’ll be okay,” I choke out. I feel numb, like everything arounf me has turned into thi air and I'm alone, holding on to his voice like it's life support.

“I love you, Catherine Lily North,”

“I love you, Xavier Lee Blackheart,”

“Catherine Lily North, I love you,” he says with a huge smile on his face. My heart beats out of my chest as I try to comprehend what he just said. As reality sinks in, I mirror his smile, clutching his hand. “I love you, Xavier Lee Blackheart,” I say, and his eyes widen. I guess he didn’t expect me to say it back because the next thing I know, he's pressing his lips to mine.

His unruly breathing makes its way to my ears as he doesn’t reply, making me grip onto Tahlia’s hand, almost crushing her fingers. It's a miracle I'm still standing. I let go of her hand and bunch up my gown’s clothing, like it's somehow gonna take me to him.

His breathing shallows, and my mind almost bursts in panic.

“Xav? Xav! Stay with me! Please, babe, I won't be able to do this without you, I can't,”

“Yes, you can, principessa—”

“Not without you! Never without you, please. I need you here with me, right by my side, holding my hand, Xav,” I beg him to stay, but it's like my plea falls on deaf ears.

He doesn’t say anything, and his breathing keeps getting fainter and fainter, until he cracks the silence.

“I hope you know I fought for you, my love,” he whispers. He seems to calm down from the high of pessimistic things and it makes a small ray of hope shine through me.

“I know you did,” I say, but something tells me he isn’t just talking about with his father.

“I got your lillies,” he says. I can detect the small smile on his face as he laughs softly. He bought me lilies, for my middle name, for my wedding day. For us.

Memories flashes through my mind and I let go of my dress I was clutching on, flicking it back and forth in anxiety.

“Remember what I said about last words, principessa?” he voice suddenly reappears, his words striking a memory and making my heart race.

“i’ve always wanted my last words to be your name,” he says, a serene smile on his face as he strokes me cheek, before leaning in and pressing a small kiss to my forehead. I giggle, feeling all the peace in the world right here with me.

“Yes…Xavier, NO, nope, not happening. We are not doing this right now. Xavier, listen to me,” I choke out, shaking my head frantically, holding onto the officiant’s desk for support.

A long inhale follows, like he's struggling to breathe. Struggling to stay.

“Principessa,” he says, with a sudden franticness in his voice that makes me almost fall over the edge. His breathing softens.

“Xav—”

His breathing stops. Terminates. Discontinues.

And he dies.

“Xavier!” I scream out, my throat rough. I want to shout out at the heavens, I want to kill the people who killed him, I want to freaking destroy the planet for bringing our story such an ill fate. I want to do so much, but I can't.

I can't, because he's not here. I can't, because he's gone. Because he’ll never be here again.

My hand loses its grip on the desk and I collapse, the call falling from my hand. My knees crumble and I fall to the ground as violent sobs wrack my body, refusing to stop. I vividly feel someone putting theIr arms around me, and I just fall onto them, my eyes closing. I want nothing more to see him

To feel him one last time. To tell him I love him. To hug him, to kiss him until we’re dazed. To spend forever with him.

My numbness leaves and I feel everything all at once, a whirlwind of emotions staggering me with their force and I can do nothing more than wail and cry. I feel the force of the universe weighing me down and I physically can't get away. My mind claws at me and I cry out in pain, thrashing out at anything that comes in my vicinity.

My wedding dress that he picked out for me with adoration in his eyes comes to bite me and I want nothing more than to feel him with me again. To rip this dress in half but also treasure it forever.

I hit the ground and then gently run my hands on it like it’s Xavier’s face. I cradle him in my mind and it’s like the earth has shattered beneath me. It tears me apart that I just lost a part of myself to heaven.

The darkness around me becomes so much that overcome with love and grief that when I finally close my eyes and surrender myself to darkness, I only see him everywhere.

Him. Everywhere.

———

How you like that? XD

taglist:

@petitpancakes @skinni-ciggis @bubblegum18 @cbfjdx @fckingpernico @dumbsouvenir @i-like-5sos @heartbreakgirlisagoodsongcalum @neptune-falls @metanoiamorii @thescatteredscribbles @little-boats-on-a-lake @talesofsorrowandofruin @w-l-ink @baguettethebooklover @euphoniouspandemonium @wannabeauthorzofija @lady-of-himring @the-writing-avocado @ink-fireplace-coffee @your-local-book-worm345

#DONT KILL ME #my works #my writing #heaven #excerpts #excerpts by me #xavier #am writing #writeblr #short story #epilogue scene

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lovestrucked-again · 4 years

Text

Heated Arguments | Mafia

Profile [Part 1] [Part 2] Genre: Fluff, Angst, Pairing: Member X reader - (platonic / romantic love) Warning: Bit scary concepts??? Swearing A/N: It makes more sense if you read the profile first to know the relationship established. Wrote it in mind as caring platonic love but some can be interpreted as love love so up to you. Let me know if you like anyone’s in particular xx

Obviously got carried away with a few, whoops.

Taeyong It was just the wrong time to ask. Taeyong was already pissed from the other gang attempting to make a bargain over your safety. Obviously you didn't know this, so when you told him you were leaving on a one-week holiday trip without prior warning, he was furious.

“You’re not going anywhere.” He fires back immediately.

“Why not?” You ask, annoyed with his demanding use of tone.

“Just do as I say goddamn it,” he yells, slamming his fist against the wall. You didn't say anything, stunned at his sudden outburst. It took a minute for you to regain your composure and you back out of his office straight away, walking directly to your room.

A few minutes later and there’s a soft knock at your door. You open the door slightly, only enough for you to peek through the gap and see who it is. Catching eye contact with Taeyong you immediately try pulling the door back, but he’s faster. He opens it completely so your standing in front and he pulls you in for a hug before your able to speak.

“Sorry baby, I shouldn't have yelled at you,” he says softly, running his fingers through your hair, “I’m just a bit stressed and it’s not safe at the moment for you to be alone outside.”

“Did something happen?” You carefully ask.

“How about you consider postponing the trip for just a bit?” He suggests, not wanting you to know the real reason why he wasn't going to let you go.

Taeil “He’s not like that!” You tell him, emotionally drained from the ongoing argument. Taeil had come into your room a few minutes ago, wanting to confront you about the boy you were currently seeing.

“You don't know that” He sighs, his hands on his knees as he leans forward on the seat placed at your desk.

“And you do?” You ask, expecting him to be stumped at the question.

“Yeah I do.”

“You can’t base him off guys in general, that's just hypocritical.”

“I had a background check on him done already Y/N” he tells you, leaning back against the chair, “He’s not a nice guy.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!” You scream, almost falling face first onto the floor as you got off your bed, completely pissed at the invasion of privacy.

“He isn’t a good guy Y/N.”

“You can’t just invade my social life like that!” You shout, heading straight to your bathroom ensuite, “I’m going to go get you proof right now” You tell him, quickly brushing through the locks in your hair for a presentable manner.

Taeil lets out an exasperated sigh, finally getting off the chair to walk over to the open door. “Y/N I said no and I mean it. You’re not seeing him again.”

“I can prove it to you! He isn’t like that I swear.” You plead, your heart starting to break at the thought.

“Princess I wish he wasn’t too.” He murmurs, bringing you into a hug as you start bawling your eyes out.

Johnny The grasp he had on your wrist was throbbing and you were starting to get frightened. His hold tightening around by instinct as his voice rises, unaware of the pressure he was holding you with. When the grip became overwhelmingly painful, you let out a yelp, prying at his hand to loosen it.

“You’re hurting me..” you whisper, struggling in his grip. Johnny follows your gaze down to your wrist and immediately pulls away noticing the change in colour as the blood is finally able to flow again.

“Fuck sorry baby,” he says, his tone immediately turned soft as he grabs your arm much more delicately this time, and rolls it over to see the redness and handprints stained. You watch as he starts blowing on your wrist while running a hand through his hair, his face clearly pained.

“It’s okay,” you mumble, “it doesn't hurt.”

“I’m sorry I didn't realise how hard my grip was.” He says, using his thumb to rub over and soothe the pain. “Sorry I shouldn't have yelled at you either.” He whispers, placing a gentle kiss on your wrist as he pulls you in for a hug.

Yuta “Why are you here?” Yuta asks, walking into your room after giving a gentle knock.

“Where am I meant to be? At the restaurant waiting for you? Even though you hadn’t shown up after almost 2 hours?” You asked rhetorically, keep your eyes locked on your phone as you leaned against your bed frame.

“You should’ve told me you went home! I went there and I had to find out through the restaurant manager that you left.” He points out, frustrated at your lack of communication.

“Why do I have to tell you that?” You ask, letting out a snicker.

His voice comes out harsher this time, catching onto your hint “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You didn't tell me you were going to be late – well more like not show up.” You give him a glance, clicking the off button on your phone “So why should I?”

“I went as soon as I could. I had an emergency meeting and I tried to text you but my phone was dead.” He tries to keep his voice steady, not wanting to add fuel to the argument.

“That’s what you always say.”

“It’s not my fault, I can’t schedule meetings based around you.”

“Today was the third time this happened in only the last two weeks! You keep setting up a date and you either come late or not at all!”

Yuta gives you an eye roll “Sorry I’m actually busy working! I don't have so much free time like you do.”

Your hand grips onto the pillow beside you, squeezing on it so hard as you fight the urge to peg it at Yuta standing by the door.

“Then don’t promise things you can’t follow. It’s simple.” You mutter out, your voice steady through your clenched teeth.

“Are you serious? You still think promises are that special Y/N?” He sighs, knitting his eyebrows together. The last phrase comes out in a mutter as he keeps his voice low, but you’re able to pick it out, “Why are you so goddamn stupid?”

“Get out.”

Your vision becomes blurry as you blink back the tears slowly creeping up in your eyes. Yuta stares at you, his expression quickly changing to regret as he realised you had heard him.

“Y/N I didn-”

“Can you leave?” You ask, your head hanging low as you hear his footsteps approach your bed

“I’m sorry – I wasn't thinking.” He murmurs, taking a seat beside you as the bed softly dips, his hands reaching for yours which are locked in your lap. “Don’t cry.” He whispers, stroking the palm of your hand as you tilt your head back, blinking the tears away.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” You mutter, looking him straight in the eye.

He chuckles, knowing you weren’t deeply affected by his previous words, “I know, I’ll make it up to you okay?”

You hum in response and he places a gently kiss on your palm, thankful for your forgiving nature.

Doyoung “Why are you thinking so negatively like that?” You ask, frustrated at his outlook on the topic.

“I’m being realistic Y/N.” He tells you.

“You’re being pessimistic not realistic, there’s a difference.” You argue. “Since when do-”

“Y/N lately your becoming more of a struggle to look after and it’s getting to the point where we can’t keep babysitting you anymore.” He says, finally exhausted. He isn’t purposefully mean but the words he uses and points he makes form in his head to fast and they’re said aloud without him even realising it. As your chair screeches against the floor when you stand, the words finally register through his head.

“Are you calling me a burden?” You ask meekly, voice starting to crack.

“What? no I-,”

“Why didn't you just tell me that earlier?”

“Y/N.”

“I’ll be in my room if you need me.” You tell him, turning around to leave.

He grabs your wrist right as your about to walk off, swinging you around and pulling your body into his. “I’m sorry that’s not what I meant.” He whispers, his hand stroking the top of your head as he keeps an arm wrapped around your shoulder. The tears held back in your eyes threatening to spill as you stare closely at the fabric of his shirt, your arms fallen at your sides. “You’re not a burden Y/N” He mumbles, trying to hide his own voice crack as he curses at himself for implying such a thing.

Jaehyun “Why did you agree?” You question, watching Jaehyun hang up the phone call.

“They offered what we couldn’t refuse.” He replies, shrugging of your comment.

“Seriously? Do you have no common sense!?” You ask, stunned at the stupid deal you had overheard.

“You shouldn't be in this room Y/N, I’ve told you before.” He sighs, rolling the office chair closer to his desk before he leans against the backrest, letting out a deep breath.

“You’re going to get yourself killed if you go alone!” You exclaim, shocked at the agreement they just made, “Don't go!”

“I have to go.”

“No you don't!” You bark back, “It’s obviously a trap!”

“It doesn't matter, you don’t have a say in this.” He groans, rolling his eyes in your direction. “You don’t even know what’s going on Y/N so don't worry about it.”

The possibilities of all the worst case scenarios come flooding through your mind as you imagine him facing an enemy group alone, coming home injured, shot or maybe not at all. You storm up to his desk and slam your hands against the table, losing your temper.

“Then tell me!” You demand

“No.”

“Why? Am I not part of this household?!” You ask incredulously, your eyes locked on his, waiting for a response.

“No, you’re not!” Jaehyun yells back, flinging his chair behind as he stands up suddenly, his figure towering over you as you keep his gaze, tilting your head up to match his. “You don’t get a say in this because you’re not part of this group.”

The tension in the room builds as Jaehyun realises what his just said, but it only triggers you further.

“Then I’ll leave!” You bark back, your voice seething with fury

“Are you serious?!” He groans, annoyed. “Y/N stop being so impulsive.”

“Why? It’s not like you care! You guys all treat me like an outsider! You never tell me anything!” You scream, your voice cracking as you finally break his gaze, lowering your head to avoid him seeing the tears forming in your eyes.

“I- It’s just better you don't know okay?” He sighs, softening his tone as he watches your shoulders drop, exhausted at the ongoing argument, “It’s safer like this.”

“Why?”

“Baby please just trust me on this okay?” He murmurs, walking around the table to stand in front of you. He wraps his arms around you, bringing your body closer to his as your forehead rests against his chest.

“Don’t go alone at least.” You mumble, and he gives a soft hum in response, promising you he’ll listen.

Jungwoo You and Jungwoo had a deal. He allowed you to go with him to one of the quieter bars that he was supervising for the night as long as you stayed in his line of sight. The other condition was that you avoided all possible contact with everyone.

Not many men came up to you, not because you weren’t attractive, but because they knew you weren’t here alone. However, a man who didn't recognise you took a seat beside you, making casual small talk. You looked around for Jungwoo before deciding that having a small chat wouldn't hurt. The man even paid for your drink and scooted closer, trying to flirt with you as you were oblivious to his approach.

“You’ve got a little something on your lip” He whispered, leaning in closer to you. You immediately scooted back, your chair dragging on the floor. He grabbed your wrist, pulling you back down onto your seat. “Where are you going?”

Before your able to respond, a figure comes to your side, pulling you up by your hand. “Home is where she’s going.”

“Mind your own business.” The guy scowls, standing up to meet Jungwoo’s height.

“She’s my business.” Jungwoo smirks, bringing his arm around your shoulder and pulling you to his side. The guy gives you a glare, fed up with the situation and he storms off. Before you’re able to thank Jungwoo, he drags you through the crowd, heading straight to the staff only area.

“What did I say about talking to strangers?” His voice rising as he speaks. “Do you know how dangerous things could’ve got if I didn't come in time?”

“The guy started talking to me, I didn't want to seem impolite.” You tell him, shrugging off his anger.

“It's a club Y/N, there’s no good intentions here.” He groans, clearly regretting his decision of bringing you along.

“He didn't seem very dangerous!” you argue back,

“He wo- you know what, let’s just talk about this later, I need to go have a chat with someone first.” He looks down at his phone, typing into his messages before directing you to the couch of the quiet room. “Wait here till I’m done.” He tells you, checking the time on his watch, intending to finish things a little earlier than planned.

“I’m sorry.” You mumble out, feeling a little guilty as you realise the severity of the situation.

“It's okay, I should’ve stayed closer by you tonight.” He softens, changing his tone back to his usual subtle voice. He gives you a quick peck on your forehead and heads back to the door, turning the handle open “I’ll be back in a second and we can go home okay?”

Mark “Come in.”

You turn the door knob to the side, pushing the door open with the side of your hip as you enter. Mark had skipped dinner and it was already midnight, you knew he hadn’t left his room to eat anything so you thought it’d be better to bring something for him.

Usually, whenever you did this, Mark was always very thankful, shoving down the fried rice or the 2 minute noodles you made as he told you what he was busy working on. However today was a little different. When you stood at his side you could tell how stressed he had been. Still dressed in his pyjamas, having not changed throughout the day, his hair unbrushed and glasses resting on his nose bridge. The screen split into two separate documents, one in Korean, the other in English. A pile of paperwork resting under his chin.

“I made you something to eat.” You tell him, leaning the tray you had bought up from the kitchen at the edge of the table as you try to make some room on his desk.

“Don’t touch that!” He yells, his hands quickly stopping you from moving anything.

“You haven’t stepped out of your room like all day and you skipped dinner.” You tell him, ignoring his words as you shut his laptop screen, placing the tray on it. “You need to eat something.”

“What the fuck?” He snaps, his eyes finally meeting yours.

“It’s unhealthy to skip meals.” You explain to him, keeping your tone steady despite his aggressive voice. Mark rarely lost his temper, and it was even rarer for him to bring it out on you.

“Y/N I’m not going to starve to death if I skip one meal.” He groans, picking up the tray and forcing it towards you, “I have feet, I can get it myself.”

“You can afford to take a break and eat.” You push again, placing the tray on the paperwork instead.

“Like you’d know, just let me do my work!” He yells, pushing the tray back into your hands. You stand still, not wanting to further stress him out but still deeply hurt at how he was treating your kind intentions.

“Wow sorry for caring.” You reply sarcastically, keeping your voice low as you turned, ready to storm out the room. “I’ll just leave you to it.”

“Y/N wait” He calls out. You turn around, catching the apologetic look in his expression as he sighs, rubbing his face harshly in his hands. “I’m sorry, I shouldn't have yelled.”

He gets up from his seat, walking over to you and takes the tray from you.

“Thought you didn't want it.” You shot back, watching him walk back to his desk.

“You’re right, I’m hungry.” He confesses, “And it looks appetising.”

Haechan It wasn’t the first time you guys fought, nor is it considered strange. However, this was the first time that things had go so heated over a conversation. Haechan being more of an unreasonable and stubborn person, he wouldn’t let the topic go.

“You learnt the wrong rules” He argues, searching online for the correct instructions on UNO and the colour rules.

“We always played by these rules!” You yell back in frustration, your hands so close to pulling out his hair, wanting to tug all the roots out in anger.

“We never did!!” He fights back, throwing the cards onto the table, letting them fly across and land wherever.

“Did you get hit or something? What’s wrong with your memory idiot!” You scream, pushing the chair back as you marched off.

“Hit with your stupidity perhaps!” He snaps, rolling his eyes as he marches off the other way.

You’d both end up storming off to your own rooms, slamming the doors loudly and startling the other members. In the end, the situation would blow over after a couple of hours or if someone (mainly Doyoung) comes over and drags you both out to apologise.

394 notes · View notes

howtosingit · 3 years

Text

Fic: shatter every window ‘til it’s all blown away

Carlos visits family in San Antonio while TK faces multiple storms in Austin.

Missing moments from 1x04.

2.1K | Also on AO3

- - - - - -

definitely just saw like 7 tornadoes

wtf

why exactly does this state want to kill me?

Carlos is sitting on his mother’s couch in San Antonio when he gets TK’s texts. It’s the first time he’s heard from the guy in a couple of days, since he left him on his front porch after their date. The silence hasn’t been terrible, if Carlos is being honest with himself. Sure, TK continues to take up space in his head every moment of every day, but the space seems to be getting smaller, or at least less centralized. He thinks that must count for something.

He glances up at the TV across the room, watching the meteorologist report on the major storm system wreaking havoc on Texas. Outside, rain pelts the windows of his mom’s one-story house, thunder roaring as lightning flashes. They’re a little too far south to be facing any tornadoes, but based on what he’s seeing, he can only imagine what kind of chaos Austin is experiencing at the center of the system.

Behind him, his mother and sisters flit around the kitchen preparing dinner, their conversation barely audible over the thunderstorm. He focuses on his phone again, thinking about how to respond.

Consider that a true Texas welcome?

Are you somewhere safe?

Carlos bites his bottom lip, watching as three dots appear at the bottom of his screen. He assumes that if TK is texting him he’s probably okay, but he’s sure this is the firefighter’s first tornado, so it doesn’t hurt to check. TK has been known to chase danger before.

yeah I’m at work

cowboy judd has us hunkered down until it clears

wbu?

Carlos looks back towards the TV, staring at the map that has taken over the screen. He sees numerous watches and warnings across the state, with a large concentration around Austin. The damage in certain areas is going to be catastrophic.

I’m in San Antonio, we’re just getting heavy rain here

There’s a pause following his text, long enough that he sets his phone down next to him, leaning forward on the couch to rub his temples. He’s already imagining the crazy workload awaiting him when he returns to town, not to mention all the loss. His heart clenches in his chest, knowing that it’s going to be a long road to recovery for his city.

His phone buzzes next to him.

I didn’t know you were out of town

but I’m glad you’re out of the worst of it

Carlos is already typing a response when another text comes through.

when are you back?

Carlos blinks, forcing himself not to read anything into TK’s messages. They’re friends now, or trying to be, and it’s super normal to ask these kinds of questions. TK’s just being curious, nothing more.

Tomorrow night, I’m working Monday

Just visiting family for a few days, it’s my sister’s birthday

He wonders if he needed to share that last bit. TK hadn’t asked for it, and he probably won’t care what reason he has for being out of town. Carlos sighs, wondering why he feels like he has to overthink every interaction with this man.

tell her happy birthday!

Judd says we’re probably going to lose service soon, it’s getting worse around the station

I’ll text you back when I can

Carlos sends a message telling him to be safe before tossing his phone to the other end of the couch, knowing that if he holds onto it he won’t do anything else until he hears from TK again. His mother finds him a few moments later, biting his fingernails as he stares at the continuous weather report. She runs her fingers through his curls, a surefire way to soothe him.

“I’m so glad you’re here and not in the middle of all of that, mijo,” she says, and he glances up to find her watching the report as well, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Are all of your friends safe?” she asks, looking down at him. He nods, his eyes closing as he feels her gentle touch on his scalp. He can feel anxiety rolling off of him in waves. “That’s good,” she says, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Come help in the kitchen, nene. You need a distraction.”

Her voice is firm, leaving no room for argument. With a sigh, he pulls himself up from the couch, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as they head into the other room, his phone left behind.

- - - -

He’s only about 20 minutes from Austin when his phone rings, the sound cutting through the music blasting in his car. Carlos glances over at his phone where it’s mounted on the dashboard, surprised to see TK’s name on his screen.

The firefighter had texted him once the storms had cleared, letting him know that everyone was safe and the station was still standing. Carlos wished him luck as the 126 headed out into the wreckage, honestly not expecting to hear from TK again before they saw each other at work.

He reaches out, swiping his finger across the screen to answer the unexpected call.

“TK?”

There’s a moment of silence before Carlos hears the other man take a deep breath, the sound traveling clearly through his car’s speakers.

“Hey, Carlos.”

Carlos feels his heart drop down into his stomach at the weak, broken tone of TK’s voice. His mind races with worst-case scenarios, wondering what could’ve possibly happened during his shift.

“Are you hurt?” he asks, trying to keep his voice calm. An image of a battered and bruised TK curled over his desk flashes through his mind, and he presses a little harder on the accelerator, wondering how quickly he can get back home.

“Not exactly. I just…”

TK trails off, hesitating, and Carlos rolls his eyes, frustrated that this conversation is happening over the phone and not in-person. He feels so helpless from so far away.

“Just talk to me, TK. I’m listening.”

There’s another pause, and Carlos swears that he’s about to scream in frustration. He has no idea what’s going on with TK right now, but in the entire time that he’s known him, he’s never heard the other man sound this shattered. Every heavy breath that Carlos hears through the phone feels like a punch straight to his chest.

“We lost someone on a call today,” TK starts, his voice blank. “A dad who wouldn’t let us treat him until we saved his kids. They were trapped in the house.”

Carlos bites his lip, his hands gripping tightly to the steering wheel as his eyes fill with tears. He knows what it’s like to have someone die in front of him, to feel like all he did was stand by and watch it happen. Those are the days where he feels completely useless, like there’s no point in him wearing the badge at all. He knows it’s impossible to save everyone all the time, but he can’t imagine not doing everything in his power to try.

“We got the kids out,” TK continues. “They all reunited, and then he just collapsed. Right in front of all of us. It felt so sudden, and there was n-nothing we c-could do.”

Carlos is shocked by the sound of TK crying over the phone, his breath stuttering over the last few words. He feels a tear of his own fall onto his cheek, his bottom lip quivering at the pain in the other man’s voice.

Doing what they do isn’t easy. It’s process and procedure and protocol. It’s assessing the situation, finding those who need the most help. It’s quick and sometimes callous, but it’s what they have to do, to be of any real use. It’s tunnel vision and quickest actions, all in the name of saving as many people as they can.

And it always hurts, when someone slips through the cracks; when someone’s pain goes undiscovered until it’s too late. Every time, it makes Carlos want to throw away the rule book, rethink the system, figure out how to make it better. He just wants to save everyone.

“I’m so sorry, Ty,” he says, the nickname slipping through for the first time. He tries to keep his voice calm and clear, for TK’s sake.

The other man doesn’t respond, but Carlos can hear him crying through the phone, quiet sobs rolling through the speakers. He’s just about to speak up, say something else, maybe offer a distraction, when TK’s voice cuts through.

“My dad has cancer,” he whispers, and of all the things that Carlos thought he might say, that revelation had not been anywhere on the list.

“What?” Carlos asks, the single syllable rattling through the air before he can stop it, his heart caught in a vice-like grip of terror for TK.

The man has already faced so much.

“I found some pills in his desk,” TK explains. “They’re prescribed for chemo patients.”

“Fuck, TK,” Carlos whispers, running his fingers through his curls as he takes his exit off I-35. “I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah,” TK says, letting out a breath. He doesn’t say anything else.

“Where are you right now?” Carlos asks, a new fear running through him.

“Home.”

“Is anyone with you?”

“No.”

“Do you need someone?” Carlos asks, making a decisive turn towards TK’s house. Just in case.

“I don’t know,” TK says weakly. “I… I don’t know, Carlos.”

“What are you thinking?” Carlos asks, trying to figure out TK’s state-of-mind. He seems a little all-over-the-place, and Carlos doesn’t even know where to begin.

“I can’t lose him, Carlos,” TK responds, and Carlos can hear the sob in the back of his throat. “He’s all I have here, I can’t lose him. I’m looking around and he’s everywhere and I can’t escape him or, or this image of him just collapsing right in front of me, without warning. Just like that dad did today. What if that had been my dad, and I missed it because I wasn’t paying attention? Because I was focused on everything else and not on the person who was really dying?”

Carlos makes another turn. “I understand that, TK, but it’s not going to happen, okay? It’s not. You know now, and nothing happened to your dad. I know it’s hard, but you can’t get trapped in the ‘what-ifs,’ you’ll drive yourself crazy,” he says, trying to be as soothing as possible.

“I don’t have anywhere to go that isn’t connected to him,” TK continues, “but I also don’t want to leave, because something could happen when I’m not here. I don’t know what to do, and I just keep pacing around the house.”

“Would it…” Carlos hesitates, wondering if he should even offer. “Would it help to have someone there with you, while you wait for him?”

“I…” TK starts, his voice cutting out. “I thought you were in San Antonio?”

“I just got back, I could be at your place in 10, if you want,” Carlos tells him, already mentally mapping the drive. He turns left, getting closer.

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I am,” Carlos states, his voice firm. “‘Not running away,’ remember?”

There’s a heavy silence following the reminder of their last face-to-face conversation. Carlos pulls up to a stop sign, holding his breath as he waits for TK to make a decision.

“Thank you, Carlos,” he finally says, and Carlos wonders if he’s imagining the lighter tone in his voice.

“I’m only a few minutes away, okay? Do you want to stay on the call?”

“Do you mind?”

“No, not at all,” Carlos says, his heart feeling a little bit lighter as TK voice strengthens on the other end of the line.

“How was your sister’s birthday?” TK asks suddenly, and Carlos hears the clear request for a distraction; one that he’s more than happy to provide.

He’s in the middle of sharing how he helped his mom with the cake when he knocks on the door to the Strand household. Seconds later, TK throws open the door, his eyes red and glassy as he drops his phone and pulls Carlos towards him. He wraps his arms around TK’s frame, pressing him against his chest as they stand in the doorway, letting TK’s tears soak the t-shirt he’s wearing as he gently strokes his back.

There’s no hesitation, no second-guessing. There’s just a desire to support and comfort and protect.

He can’t imagine being anywhere else.

#tarlos #tarlos fic #911 lone star #tk strand #carlos reyes #I wrote a thing #tarlos missing moments collection

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chaoticallysapphic · 4 years

Text

the great divide part three

summary: Who knew that eight words would be your undoing. If you had known then what you know now you wouldn't have signed up for Suyin's dance troupe, you probably would have left Zaofu just to be safe. But you didn't and fate had branded you with a path that chained you to someone who would break your heart.

a/n: sooo there will probably be one or two more parts, I’m feeling one. I was hesitant to release this because my insecurities regarding my writing have kicked in and so I think this is good? But at the same time I’m unsure and so yeah. As always, thank you to @medeliadracon for beta reading this.

word count: 8K

He didn't make it.

Baatar found Bolin with Varrick and Zhu Li in the woods and they almost beat him, but he used Varrick to get Zhu Li and Bolin to stop fighting. Your heart cracks as Baatar walks in with that same smug attitude with all three of them in cuffs behind him. Two soldiers push them inside until they are all in front of Kuvira.

“Don’t torture us” Bolin begs. Kuvira stands from her chair, leaning against the desk as she glares at them. “Send these three away on the next train. Bolin and Zhu Li will be going to the reeducation camp for our most severe dissenters.” You whip your head around to stare at her, silently pleading for her to stop.

She ignores you, which you shouldn’t be surprised by, as she rounds the desk and walks over to Varrick. “And you will continue to work on the spirit energy project under close, armed supervision.” She emphasizes the word ‘armed’ before swiftly turning around and walking back towards her desk. “I want it weaponized immediately.”

Zhu Li does something unexpected though, and flings herself onto the floor by Kuvira’s feet, she pleads for mercy, swears her loyalty, and insults Varrick all in what seems like one breath. Your brows pinch together, in the three years you’ve known her she’s never seemed discontented with her life nor job. If anything you had thought she was secretly fond of the eccentric billionaire.

Kuvira believes her though and sends Bolin along with Varrick away. Zhu Li is sent away to do… well, you don’t know. Once everyone leaves it’s just the two of you and Kuvira is seething. Once everyone is out of earshot she goes over to her table of maps and sweeps her arms across them, effectively knocking everything to the floor.

You jump in surprise before slowly walking over to her like you would an injured animal. She slams her hands onto the metal and practically growls with rage. “Did you know?” she spits out.

She keeps her back to you and you stop midstep, lying has always been a bit so-so for you. You wouldn’t brag about it but I mean you’ve gotten away with secretly being with Kuvira, which involved a lot of lying, throughout the last three years and no one suspected a thing. “No, I knew he was unhappy with how we left Zaofu but I would have never imagined that he’d turn against us.”

You come up behind her and cautiously slide a hand over her shoulder and wrap your other arm around her waist. One of her hands comes to rest on the arm wrapped around her as she tries to control her breathing. “Breathe, Vira,” you say calmly and kiss her back, she makes some kind of choked sound and you pull her tighter against you.

“You won’t ever betray me… right?” she chokes out. Your heart cracks and with some effort, you turn her around to face you. You cup her face and pull her closer until your foreheads are resting on another. “Never, I would never betray family.”

You know about her childhood, she had slowly opened up to you about it over the years and you knew that the effects of being left behind by her parents would never truly vanish. You knew you had to stop this before it got too far, but you’d do it to keep her and your future together safe. She has tears racing down her face and you're sure she’s imaging worst-case scenarios right now. “I’m staying by your side until the end of time,” you murmur and she lets out a weak chuckle at your melodramatic words.

You don’t know how long you stand there comforting her but you certainly don’t mind spending your day with her in your arms. When the sun is starting to go down she checks for any sign of her breakdown in the mirror and fixes a few stray strands of hair from her bun.

The stress of this fight along with being so close to home was starting to get to her, you realized. It’s probably why she’s been so affectionate, she’s losing her grip on her cool-headed facade. “I have some things to do, you don’t need to wait up for me tonight.”

Your heart drops at her words, “Vira did I do something wrong?” From your knowledge Baatar isn’t even staying in the camp tonight, she ordered him to be the one to escort Bolin to the reeducation camp and watch over Varrick.

“You did nothing wrong, I just have something that needs to be done so I won’t be going to bed until late. I don’t want you losing sleep while you wait for me,” she walks over to you, she doesn’t touch you but the look she sends your way reassures you that it’s going to be okay, at least for tonight. “I left a present for you in the tent, I hope you like it.”

You send her a confused look, she never really gave you gifts before. She was too busy uniting the earth empire to shop or make personal items which you understood, you’d seen the personal toll it had taken on her.

She leaves you to go discuss some plans for tomorrow if all things go well and you rush off to your tent. You pass some of the communal sleeping tents for soldiers and an infirmary before you finally open the flap to your small tent. Inside are two decent sized cots on either side of the tent with a small chest for clothes and such.

On the left cot is something rather large wrapped up in leather. You unwrap the gift and what greets your eyes is metal, there’s a note atop the metal though and you hesitantly pick it up. Inside is Kuvira’s elegant penmanship and says “To keep you safe.”

You carefully place the note down, you think you’ll keep it for sentimental reasons. When you pick up the metal you realize it’s armor. You bend it on and smile, it’s lightweight but is made from one of the toughest metals you can bend, there’s armor for your legs and arms that you bend on. It’s comfortable and there are sections on the tops of it that can be bent off like the metal that accent Kuvira’s uniform.

You run your fingers down the smooth metal, and flush. This is unique and meant only for you, it wasn’t all that romantic per se but you loved it and would cherish it for the rest of your life. You bend it off and carefully place it in the chest before heading to the mess hall for dinner. With Bolin and Varrick gone you don’t know whom to sit with until your eyes land on Zhu Li who is eating at the far end of one of the long metal tables lining the marquee. You grab your plate of food and march over to her, once you're in front of her she looks up from her plate and her eyes widen a bit as you sit down across from her.

“Bolin told us that you want to stop her too” she whispers, scared of others hearing.

“I want to stop this, but I won’t hurt her” you reply, a group of young soldiers walks by with their helmets off, obnoxiously laughing about who knows what. You pick up your fork and take a bite of your food, “Unless Korra can work something out with Suyin she will take Zaofu, I thought I got through to her but I know her conversation with the Avatar has caused her to throw away my suggestion.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Zhu Li replies. “If I can weasel myself into being a lab assistant I can try to sabotage the weapon but no one has given me any orders yet.” You set your fork down as you try to think up some kind of plan, honestly, you’d only been thinking about Zaofu but now you're wondering what else she has planned if she wants that weapon built.

Two higher-ranked soldiers stop behind Zhu Li, the taller of the two clears his throat whilst the shorter one says “Kuvira wishes to see Zhu Li.”

You both stand but they stop you when you begin to get out of your seat, “just Zhu Li.” Your brows pinch together as they take her away, leaving her meal behind you try to keep your distance as you follow after them. Thankfully neither seem to notice you as they lead Zhu Li to Kuvira’s tent. It’s two hours later, the sun has long since gone down, that Kuvira and her guards exit the tent but Zhu Li doesn’t.

Your heart pounds at the possibilities that race through your mind, you take a step toward the tent when a hand wraps around your forearm. You whip your head around and meet the stare of one of Kuvira’s most trusted generals. “Kuvira asked me to make sure you get into your tent safely.”

“What do you mean?” You yank your arm out of his grasp and frown.

“She thinks it’s unsafe out here at night. Let’s get you back to your tent.” You hesitantly follow after him and glance around to see if anything strange is happening elsewhere but it all looks perfectly normal. Once at the entrance of your tent you give him a curt nod goodnight before heading inside. When you turn around you see the outline of his body as he stays outside your tent, standing guard.

Your heart drops. You could earth bend out but that’s loud and he’ll hear you, then you’ll have to explain to Kuvira why you felt the need to leave which she won’t be happy with. You just want to make sure Zhu Li is okay. You sit on your bed for an hour as you try to come up with a plan to leave when the alarms begin to blare.

Your stomach drops and you quickly exit the tent, the general tries to stop you from leaving so you bend off two pieces of metal from a nearby weapons crate to cuff his hands and bend the earth at his feet so he can’t run after you.

You race between the tents and crates of supplies as you head towards all the commotion, floodlights are shining at a specific spot, Kuvira’s tent. Panic bubbles up your throat at the thought of something happening to her but the sight before you has you skidding to a halt.

At least a dozen mecha suits are surrounding Suyin along with Wing and Wei whilst Kuvira walks away from the scene, your eyes land on Zhu Li who is laying in the bed behind them, shielding her eyes as the mecha suits shoot the three Beifongs with an electrical shock. No.

Why would Suyin do this, she had to know it wouldn’t end well. The general you had trapped from earlier comes bounding down the path behind you and grabs a hold of your arm. “I am not going to get demoted because of your ass,” he spits out and drags you away, you don’t fight him as you look over your shoulder and see the unconscious Beifongs get dragged away.

When you get back to your tent the general all but tosses you inside and takes post once more in front of the entrance. Feeling defeated, you change into your pajamas. As you're pulling your tank top over your bare chest you hear the general talking to someone outside of the tent, it’s silent for a moment before a seething Kuvira enters, you see his shadow disappear, leaving the two of you alone.

“Why would you leave?” She demands, taking a step closer to you.

“I heard the sirens and was worried something happened to you!” You reply, your chest heaving as you glare at her. “I don’t care if a dozen guards are posted outside. If I feel that you may be in danger I am going to come running to aid you.”

She blanches at your confession and takes a step back. Her fury visibly dissipates so you take a step forward and cup her face in your hands. She looks down at you with a look of confusion. It breaks your heart anytime she gets confused by your love for her. “What are you going to do with them?”

Kuvira pulls away from your grasp and looks at the ground, it must hurt, they once considered her family. “I’ll have to use them to get Zaofu.”

You glare at her, “you said you’d consider my option, did you even think it over?!”

“With them, in our custody, we can take over Zaofu with minimal force, your family will be fine” she retorts, a look of frustration settling on her features. “It’s a good thing we have them or else taking it over could have turned into a bloodbath.”

“Vira… We can never go back to Zaofu if you do this, please.”

“If you want to stay in their good graces then leave!” You take a step back, your eyes widening.

“I won’t leave you but by doing this I will resent you, this city was our home! I wanted us to move back here one day and introduce you to my parents, maybe buy a house in the main dome, and attend dance lessons again. We can’t have that future if you invade it.”

Kuvira snarls, “I don’t have to listen to this.” She goes to leave and your heart drops, Baatar isn’t here but the idea of waking up without her insight sends you into a panic. All those mornings full of tears take over and you grab her wrist before she can.

“Wait, just stay. Don’t just… run away while we’re fighting because you don’t like the subject,” your eyes brim with tears. “I’m deeply upset with you and I’m hoping that maybe you’ll change your mind, for me, please. But don’t go sleep somewhere else, you can stay on the extra cot just… just stay here.”

Kuvira pulls her wrist out of your grip and nods, you go lay down on your cot and you watch as she changes into her pajamas before getting in the one across the way, her back facing you.

You frown but will take whatever you can get at this point and turn the knob of the oil lamp until the flame is snuffed out.

You wake up to the sound of the chest between the beds snapping shut and when you open your eyes you're greeted with Kuvira fastening her metal shoulder pads into place. You sit up, causing Kuvira’s eyes to snap up and look into your own.

“I’m going through with it,” she responds. Your shoulders slump as you try to fight back your tears.

“I won’t have any part of it” you spit out before laying back down and turning your back to her. You hear her groan out in frustration before storming out of the tent, leaving you to your thoughts. There has to be a way to stop this. You know if you just outright walk up and fight her not only will you lose but she’ll never forgive you.

It has to be planned and calculated but there isn’t enough time to keep Zaofu from being invaded, maybe last night you could have done something, tied her up, and driven far away with her, but she’s probably already getting her troops into position.

An hour or two later you convince yourself to get out of bed and get dressed, you stare at your armor with anger gnawing at your heart before you bend it on and storm out of the camp. It’s completely deserted as everyone is most likely taking over Zaofu right about now, as you turn towards Kuvira’s tent you slam into someone and stumble backward.

Zhu Li falls to the ground with a thud and you let out a slew of curses as you bend down to help her back up. “I’m so sorry,” you immediately apologize.

“It’s okay, I didn’t get hurt or anything.”

You look around to see if perhaps there’s a straggler or two, but again it’s a ghost town. “Have you seen anyone, most specifically near Kuvira’s tent?” Zhu Li shakes her head and you grab her wrist before pulling her after you. “I can’t stop her from taking over Zaofu but I can try to bring this whole thing down.”

Once you enter the empty tent you and Varrick's former assistant immediately sift through her piles of paperwork and plans to try and find something useful. So far it seems to be stuff you knew or had a hunch about, there were some blueprints for a couple of reeducation camps, you want to rip them to sheds and light this whole place on fire but you know you can’t leave any evidence of your snooping so you put them back and move behind her desk.

Inside her drawers are more pointless papers, copies of contracts she’s made people sign, and an in detail map of the earth kingdom. You know you must be missing something, this can’t be everything.

Curiously, you get onto your knees and look under her desk, there you spot a metal compartment that must be bent to open. You bend it open and out falls at least a dozen of folded-up papers.

“Zhu Li'' you quietly call out and she immediately walks over to you, you place the papers on the desk, her eyes widen in relief as she picks up the first piece of paper and unfolds it. You grab another and read through the contents, it’s plans for after she wins, none of which look promising. You place it back down and pick up another, inside is some kind of blueprint for a massive mecha suit, you narrow your eyes as you try to make sense of all the many notes and numbers but you've never even seen an engineering blueprint before.

"Zhu Li do you know how to read blueprints?" You ask, she rounds the desk and looks over your shoulder. "Yes, I've helped Varrick draw up quite a few."

You hand the paper to her and watch as her eyes dart from one side of the paper to the next. Her eyes widened in horror. "This is a massive mecha suit, they plan to make it out of platinum…"

Why would Kuvira need such a thing, Zaofu is the last place she has on her map. You sift through the other papers when your eyes land on a specific one. You unfold it and spread it across the table, you think you might be sick.

Its battle plans, an intricate strategy on how to take over Republic City. "She never told me about this…" As you stand in shock Zhu Li zips into action, she lays the blueprint onto the table and finds a blank sheet of paper and some charcoal, placing the paper over the blueprints she starts to trace the plans for the mecha suit. "We can't stay here for too long, Kuvira might send someone to check on us."

“We need to get this to the Avatar.” You grab another blank sheet of paper and a pen before writing down as much as you can about her planned attack. Kuvira always made it sound like after Zaofu it would all be over, every time she reassured you she’d always say “once we get to Zaofu we can drop this facade.” But with all these blueprints for different types of weapons that you know Baatar is most likely building, you realize she was lying.

“How do we do that? It’s not like it’s easy to sneak out of this place.” Zhu Li pockets her copy of the plans and carefully folds the original before placing it back in the pile. You fold your paper that is covered, front to back, in vital information. You place all the documents back inside the hidden compartment before bending it shut once more.

Truthfully you don’t know how you’ll do it, the only way you can think of is breaking out the Beifongs which has your heart racing. You’ve never done something like this, how do you break someone out whilst not blowing your cover? You both leave her tent and head to the back of the encampment, far away from anyone who might still be around.

“I need to break out the Beifongs, you’ll go with them back to republic city to help Asami figure out a way to stop this mecha suit from causing any destruction while I stay here and try to do the best I can to weaken our force.”

Zhu Li takes the paper you give her, she looks down at the folded document, trying to figure out what to say. “Bolin told Varrick and me when he broke us out of the lab.” Your eyes widen and it feels like ice has been poured all over you. You know Zhu Li won’t tell Kuvira what she knows but the years of keeping it a secret have programmed you to feel dread at her words. “It’s brave, what you're doing.”

You gulp, “do you think, what with the deeper bond and all, someone can forgive their soulmate if they betray them?” It’s been on your mind since this morning when you decided that you weren’t going to sit on your hands anymore. Suggestions didn’t work, you had to stop this with force.

“I hope so.” Zhu Li’s grip on the paper tightens just a bit and you realize you never asked her if she’s ever met her soulmate.

“Tonight is our best bet, Kuvira will most likely move them to a more secure location in the morning. We should meet here at midnight tonight. Bring a backpack with some supplies for yourself, okay?” She places the paper in her pocket with the blueprints and nods.

“You’re doing the right thing y/n,” she says in an attempt to comfort you. It doesn’t work.

“The leftover mecha suits that are here, is there a way to discreetly sabotage them?” You ask, Zhu Li grins.

“I made those with Varrick, that’ll be a piece of cake.”

“We need to work on those immediately while this place is still empty…” You pinch your brows together as you think of another way to help. “Do you… can you make yourself one of those electrical gloves, I read the equalists used them and you might need one tonight?”

“I don’t know where I would get the materials for that but I know what it takes to make one.”

You both begin to jog over to the row of mecha suits left behind, Kuvira will probably have some of her weaker soldiers take these. Zhu Li grabs a wrench from a nearby work table and gets to work on disabling them, you stand guard. When she’s on her third one you hear a buzzing sound from behind you, you whip around and see the train fast approaching. Baatar shouldn’t be back so soon.

You grab Zhu Li’s arm and pull her behind a crate as the train whizzes past, that nosy little shit has just made your plans ten times more difficult. “Is there some kind of faster way to dismantle them all at once?”

Zhu Li shakes her head. “Not without it being obvious that they are damaged.”

“We should keep working on these, I’ll try to scope out where Baatar is going so I know if we need to stop.” Zhu Li nods and gets back to work as you run towards the train platform. If you have to, you are okay with knocking Baatar out and locking him up somewhere until this is all over, but you know that’ll just make things more difficult.

When you get close enough to the platform you hide behind a jeep and watch as Baatar and a few men get off, strangely enough, Varrick isn’t among them. Looking beyond the platform you see that Kuvira’s troops are gone, but some tracks lead to Zaofu… she went through with it.

“Get me a jeep, I need to tell Kuvira what happened,” Baatar’s nasal voice breaks you out of your thoughts. One of his soldiers starts to head towards your jeep, fuck. You slowly back up and dive behind a crate to keep yourself from being seen.

The engine revs to life, the jeep leaves a cloud of dust in its wake as the soldier drives over the platform to pick up everyone. Good, you're still alone. You hesitate, waiting to make sure they don’t turn back to the encampment and don’t move until the car is a mere speck in the distance.

When you return Zhu Li is on the third to last one. Thank the spirits, you look around the area to make sure there isn’t any evidence of her work, no fallen screws or dented panels, but everything looks perfectly normal. Never in your life did you think you’d be doing something like this, going against your soulmate and attempting to sabotage a militaries forces

Your heart still pounds as you try to keep watch, with every little noise Zhu Li makes as she works, fear squeezes tighter at your heart. “I’m done,” she calls from behind you.

You jump in surprise and place a hand over your heart, “sorry I-”

“I know” she gives you a reassuring look before she puts the wrench back where she found it.

You're on your way to the mess hall with Zhu Li when you pass the weapons tent. Stopping in your tracks as an idea pops into your head you grab Zhu Li by the arm and tug her inside. “What are we doing here?”

“If we can’t get you one of those shocker thingies then you need to pick out a weapon from here, it should be something small and easy to conceal.” Zhu Li nods and slowly walks over to a shelf lined with weapons. Her eyes drift between the weapons hanging up, then down to the ones left laying on a table.

You don’t want to rush her but it’s been a few hours and people might start coming back soon. After the most agonizing ten minutes of your life, she picks up some kind of gun with a thick, clear cylinder. “What is that?”

“A tranquilizer. We can use this on any guards that we come across tonight.” She grabs a couple of refills and tucks them, along with the now emptied gun, into her jacket for safekeeping. You both leave after that and keep walking to your destination.

As you reach it, you notice the first group of soldiers return. Both of you sit down and try to idly chat about things like where did you grow up? Or what made you become an assistant? So that anyone who passes doesn’t think anything suspicious of you two.

As the sun starts to go down, more and more people have returned and the mess hall is filled to the brim with hungry men and women who seem to be celebrating their easy victory.

You got up at some point and grabbed some food for Zhu Li and yourself, both of you seem to struggle with forcing the food down as everyone around you is laughing at the fall of the once-great Zaofu. It sickens you when you hear someone from behind talk about the defeat of the once great Beifongs. It’s only later, as you're walking back to your tent, that you encounter a complication.

That same general from last night is standing outside your tent, waiting for you. “What do you want?”

“Kuvira asked me to help you transfer your things into Zaofu,” he eyes you as he speaks. You scoff.

“You can run back to Kuvira and tell her I am not setting foot in Zaofu.” You try to push past him but he grabs your forearm, his grip is so tight it causes you to hiss out.

“I mean what I said about me not getting demoted because of some bratty friend of Kuvira’s who can’t follow orders,” he snarls as he leans down to get in your face. You heart pounds, he’s so much taller than you, so much bigger. You try to yank your arm out of his grasp but he pulls you closer. “Get your things so I can take you to Zaofu.”

He pushes you into the tent and stands guard at the entrance, preventing you from leaving. You know if you told Kuvira what he just did he’d not only be demoted but fired altogether, but that requires walking into Zaofu and you can’t look at what she’s done to it.

General Yin is high up, he’s one of Kuvira’s most trusted Generals. He’d probably know exactly where the Beifongs are being kept…

You pack up everything into the trunk but keep your armor on and exit the tent. “I’m not leaving without my friend,” you say defiantly and stick your chin up, settling your glare on his face. He rolls his eyes in annoyance and says “then take me to them.”

You walk over to where Zhu Li says she’d be sleeping and once in front of you and call out, “uh, Zhu Li?”

She peaks her head out and pinches her brows together in confusion at the sight of you with the General close behind. “We’re going to Zaofu, make sure to get all of your things.” She nods and ducks back inside. A couple of minutes pass before she emerges with a backpack and an overcoat on. General Yin doesn’t think anything suspicious of it as he leads you to a jeep where you place your trunk in the back.

Both you and Zhu Li sit in the back and he speeds off towards Zaofu, you don’t know what to do, you didn’t think about how you’d get him to talk, just that you would. Halfway through the drive, you shout over the whistling of the wind “I have to pee!”

“Hold it!”

“I can’t! I think I’m about to wet myself, just pull over and I’ll go behind a tree.” He pulls over towards the forest and puts the car into park. When you get out so does he and he even follows you to the tree that you pick. “Uhm… Some privacy would be nice.”

He swiftly turns his back to you but remains close, you pull at the zipper of your pants so he can hear it, your heart is pounding so fast you can hear it in your ears and feel it in your fingertips. You’ve never attacked someone before.

Without a second thought you bend the earth until it’s up to his waist, he lets out a shout of surprise and as he raises his hands to bend back you hit him right in chi on the side of his neck. When he tries, nothing happens. He lets out a panicked “what did you do to me?!”

Zhu Li jumps out of the jeep as you zip your pants back up before walking around to look him in the eyes. “Where are the Beifongs being held?”

“Like I’d tell you!” He squirms and continues to try to bend, he’s terrified. Perhaps in different circumstances, you’d feel bad for doing this to someone but he did grip you so hard you can already feel a bruise coming. This will teach him to be nicer to others.

You tighten the rocks around his waist causing him to let out a shocked groan of pain. “Tell us where they are and the damage I do to you will be minimal.”

“Aren’t you Kuvira’s little pet?” He spits out. Your eyes widen at his implication and squeeze tighter.

“I have a lot of pent up rage and I am not afraid of hurting you!” You shoot up two more pieces of earth that grab onto his hands and bend him back. He cries out in pain and you hear Zhu Li gasp behind you. “Now, where are the Beifongs?”

When a minute goes by and he doesn’t respond, you bend him back further. “Fine! Okay fine just please stop” he shouts. You let go of his hands and he slumps in the piece of earth holding his lower half tightly. “They’re being held in some wooden cage outside of the city, Kuvira has them on one of those special trucks for transport.”

Special trucks… Those are platinum. “How many guards?”

“I-I don’t know” he looks between the two of you, “I really don’t know please don’t bend my arms back again.”

“Give me an estimate, you’re one of Kuvira’s top men. How many do you think she’d station around that truck?”

“Probably five or six, they're important.”

Zhu Li sighs and steps forward. “You're gonna take us to the truck and if you make one wrong move I won’t stop y/n from doing whatever she wants to you.” Your eyes widen a fraction, you’ve never heard her talk like that before.

He vigorously nods and you bend the rock that keeps his body held firmly away. Before he can even think about attacking you, you bend two of the extra pieces of your armor to cuff his hands. “Zhu Li, you should keep your gun out,” you say to her, she nods and pulls it out of her jacket. General Yin's eyes widen as she points it at him. “Well, we don’t have all night.”

He stumbles through the darkness of the woods as he leads you uphill. Zhu Li keeps her finger on the trigger of her tranquilizer as you keep your hands at the ready, every step you take you feel the earth around you to keep yourself prepared in case he tries to run.

When you see lights up ahead you wrap a piece of metal around his mouth and put your hand on his shoulder to keep him in place. Between the trees, you can see it’s one of those massive trucks with a roof over the bed, the back is facing you which offers you a glimpse of Huan, you think his name is. He has his face pressed against the side of the wooden cage as he stares off into space.

There are six guards like General Yin predicted. “We should knock him out,” you whisper to Zhu Li. She nods and points the gun at his back before pulling the trigger, a dart shoots out of the barrel and you hear him let out a muffled groan before he slumps over. You wrap your arms around him to keep him from falling onto the floor, she wraps her arms around him to help gently place him on the floor. For good measure, you bend the earth beneath him until only his head is sticking out.

You and Zhu Li crouch behind a large boulder as you peek around to check out the scene. “How do we do this?”

“They can’t see me, we already have to figure out what to do with General Yin…” You reply.

“Can you bend from behind this rock? You could make some kind of distraction and I can try to take them out with the tranquilizer.” It’s the best option and only idea that either of you can think of, so you nod.

You peek around the rock again to get a sense of the layout before whipping back behind and letting out a deep, shaky breath. You can’t fuck this up, this is not the time to run off crying or be weak. This is for her, for Kuvira, you remind yourself. This is for your future and happiness.

When you lean forward you have half your face hidden behind the rock and you're knelt low to the ground to try and offer you coverage.

“Do you know when our shift is over?” One guy asks. You pause to listen in.

“I think like an hour or two,” another says as he kicks a rock. “This is so boring.”

“I know right, everyone is celebrating right now and we’re stuck on guard duty.” You roll your eyes at the one guy's complaint before taking a deep, steady breath. You got this.

Placing a palm on the ground, you slowly clench your fist causing a large crack to go right underneath the center of the truck.

“What the fuck?!” With both of your hands, you push with all your strength and the crack widens. Zhu Li takes the opportunity and shoots one of the guards in the very back of the neck, he falls with a thud and the guard closest to him turns around. He opens his mouth to shout, so you bend off a piece of metal from your armor and shoot it towards him. It wraps around his mouth right as Zhu Li points her gun towards him and pulls the trigger.

Two down, three to go.

“Show yourself!” One shouts. One of them starts to bend bushes out of the way to try and find where you're hiding, you tap Zhu Li’s shoulder and point to him, she seems to get the message because she takes him out next. The only problem is the other two men saw exactly where the dart came from. Fuck.

There’s a medium-sized rock next to one of the two, so you bend it and fling it towards him. He narrowly jumps out of the way, doing that distracts the other guard which gives Zhu Li the chance to shoot at him next. “I don’t have any darts left,” she says in a panicked voice, you’ll have to take this guy out the old fashioned way. “Well I guess we’ll have two guys to worry about,” you say before revealing yourself.

The guard pauses, his eyes widen as he sees you take a step towards him. “But…”

You charge, shooting a piece of the earth into the air, you twirl with the grace of a dancer and fling it at him, with the force of your throw it speeds towards him. He shoots up a small wall made of rock to protect him, your rock hits. Due to the impact, parts of his wall crumbles. You can see him because of that crumble, see him running towards the driver’s seat of the truck.

Every car has a radio… You race forward and bend a wall up that blocks the door to the driver's side of the car, whilst he breaks it down you advance behind him and grab his arm. He whirls around to stare at you in horror. He pushes against you, effectively making you stumble back. You think of Bolin, of how he did that once and you fell onto your back with a groan. You think of the days spent learning how to take down someone with your fists, but most importantly you remember what he said one day.

“You might hate fighting, but one day you’ll need to think about what's for the best and throw a punch.” Taking down this greasy asshole is what's best, you tell yourself as you punch him in the nose.

“Fuck!” He stumbles back and clutches his nose, whilst he’s distracted you bend the earth underneath to effectively trap his body from the collarbone down. There’s blood trickling out of his nose, you’ve never made someone bleed before. This is for the best.

You bring your hand down in the same spot you did General Yin, rendering the guard of his bending so you don’t have to worry about him escaping. You turn around and see Zhu Li look at you with this look of surprise. “Who knew you could throw a punch,” she says, breaking the silence.

You both head to the opening of the truck. “Y/n?” You hear Suyin say, she grips the wood and looks at the both of you with wide eyes, “Zhu Li?”

“Is there a door to this thing?” You point at the cage and Suyin looks up. “It’s above us but it’s locked.” You nod and look over at Zhu Li.

“One of these guards probably has a key or something we can use to break it open.” You both search the guards but come up empty, even the guy you punched doesn’t have them, which when you bend some of the earth away to check his pockets but still keep his feet and hands encased, he curses you out.

“Kuvira will find out about this, she’ll kill you in an instant” he spits out in rage. You look up and into his, part of you wonders if she will. You don’t think so, but you’ve seen her slipping these past few days and it seems she left a piece of herself at each stop you guys made during the tour.

“That requires someone telling her,” you say as you bend the earth back up to his collarbone. No key… You walk over to the truck entrance and sigh. “Zhu Li, can I see your gun?”

She gives it to you, sending a quizzical look your way. You ignore it as you climb inside and then climb to the top of the wooden cage. You grab the gun so the handle is facing downward, your hands gripping the barrel.

Before you begin, you look into the openings of the wooden cage and make eye contact with Suyin. “I have terms,” you say, everyone looks shocked. “If I let you out, Kuvira won’t be imprisoned, instead sh-”

“Y/n, she has to face the punishme-”

“She will be put on house arrest in a city of my choosing. If you try to imprison her then I expect the same treatment for your son.” Silence follows so you continue. “You won’t try to kill her again and you will take Zhu Li, along with these two guards, with you to Republic City where you will give the Avatar vital information we found.”

“Y/n she’s a monster, nothing can be done to fix the damage she’s cau-” You squeeze your eyes shut. You are so done of being talked over and interrupted, of being silenced.

“She did what she thought was best, if you had put your pride aside and helped the earth kingdom when asked we wouldn’t be put in this mess. Her intentions were pure when this started, but trying to bring order when you're just some nobody isn’t easy. Sacrifices were made and she’s lost herself but she’s still in there, I know it. I will leave you in here and turn my back on you, on this, if you don’t agree to my terms.”

Your palms feel sweaty and you have to cling tighter to the gun to keep it from slipping. Neither of you breaks eye contact, you glare into her green eyes as you await a response. Suyin’s eyes widen and a look of… recognition? Settles on her features.

“She’s your soulmate, isn’t she?” Very slowly, you nod. “I knew Junior wasn’t it.” Suyin clenches her fists as she sighs. “Fine, I agree to your terms.”

“If you break your promise, I’ll destroy everything.” You whisper the last word but she hears you loud and clear. Suyin gulps and nods in understanding. As you exhale you smash it down onto the lock, it rattles. You do it again, as hard as you can and this time there’s the smallest of cracks. You keep doing it, your arms ache but you have to get them out and quickly.

Soon your chi block might wear off on that one dude or the guards for the next shift might show up. It feels like all your dreams come true when it finally snaps open. You toss the gun to Zhu Li who catches it. You fling open the latch and climb down.

Suyin and Baatar Sr. give their kids a boost so they can climb out. After all three are out, Baatar Sr. helps Suyin out, once she’s out she lays flat on her stomach and grips onto him, helping pull him out.

You climb out of the truck and sigh. “You need to take General Yin and that-” you point at the guard behind you, the one still awake “one as well.” You bend the earth away from the guard, Wing and Wei pick him up and carry him over to the bed of the truck. You lead Suyin over to Yin, who is thankfully still passed out. You both bend the earth back into the ground and each takes aside as you lug him over as well.

“What are you going to say?” Zhu Li asks, you pinch your brows together and look down at your feet.

“I…” You begin. You look around at the scene before you, General Yin and that guard can bend earth, there are obvious works of a bender at the scene. “You and General Yin teamed up together to break out the Beifongs, Yin was working with the guard as well…”

“She won’t believe it” Suyin pipes up. “You're squeaky clean and he’s one of her top generals.”

Suddenly the image of her on the verge of a panic attack flashes to life.

“Did you know?” she spits out.

She’s already suspected you once in the last two days, Suyin's right. “You should come with us,” Zhu Li says. You shake your head and purse your lips.

“Maybe if I’m a bit messed she’ll believe me.”

“What do you mean?” Baatar Sr. inquires.

“I need one of you guys to uh… hit me in the face.” You look at everyone and they all look at each other in contemplation. It’s Wei who steps up as he pushes his sleeves up for dramatic effect.

“I’m pretty angry at you and Kuvira so I’ll do it.” You let out a weak laugh and square your shoulders, Suyin places a hand on Wei’s shoulder and looks into your eyes. “You don’t need to do this.”

“Yes I do, we need to make this believable,” you look over at Wei. “Leave my eyes alone, you need to leave a mark though.”

Wei lets out a deep sigh as he gets into a fighting stance, you squeeze your eyes as you wait for impact. A minute stretches by and you're about to tell him to just do it when his fist collides with your cheekbone on the right side of your face. Intense pain encases your face as you stumble back. Before you can fall someone catches you as you cradle your face in pain.

That is going to leave a mark. Zhu Li places you back on your feet, you faintly hear Suyin scolding Wei. “I need…” you groan as more pain shoots into your cheekbone from moving your mouth. “I need Yin’s empty dart.”

Zhu Li looks through her jacket pockets before pulling it out and handing it to you. “Can you get back to the jeep by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine, you guys need to hurry though. A guard switch should be happening soon.” The three Beifong children pile into the trunk of the car along with Zhu Li as Baatar Sr. heads to the driver's seat, Suyin stays behind for a minute as she gives you a quick once over.

“I… I promise to stick to my terms.” You nod, scared of the pain that will most likely happen if you smile, she slowly walks over to the passenger seat and climbs in. The engine roars to life and soon they are speeding down the dirt road that leads to a tunnel. Your walk back to the jeep is agonizing, it’s almost pitch blackout and every twig that snaps has you spinning around to see if someone’s following you.

When the jeep finally comes into sight you let out a breath of relief. You probably look a little too polished so begrudgingly you cup some dirt in your hands and smear some on your good cheek, neck, and a little bit on your clothes for good measure. It has to look like you were knocked out and put up a fight.

You set the dart onto the passenger seat and let your hair down from your updo, Kuvira makes sure all the women in her command have their hair out of their face to keep distractions to a minimum. Running your fingers through it a few times to mess it up you look in the rearview mirror of the car and sigh, this is the best you're gonna get.

Putting the keys into the ignition, you drive towards the place you once called home.

#kuvira x reader #kuvira/reader #fanfic #lok fanfic #kuvira fanfic #kuvira #legend of korra #the great divide #the great uniter

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alpacaparkaseok · 4 years

Text

7 Secrets <pt. 5>

GENRE: Soulmate!au BTS!

WARNINGS: none woohoo

WORD COUNT: 5594 lol sorry there was a lot to get through here but at the same time I'm not sorry

Part 5!!!! You guys I had so much fun writing this part. We are getting down to it. I’m literally so excited. Let me know what you guys think! Thanks for all the support! Also, if you guys have any requests for future stories regarding our boys, hit me up! <3

Minsuh is already waiting for me by the time I exit the building, and I slide into the passenger seat as quickly as possible.

“What’s going on? I have a missed call from Mr. Bang. Should I call him back right now?”

Minsuh looks over at me, and I pause at the look in her eyes. My stomach drops as I expect the worst. Even in the dim interior lighting of her car, I can see just how pale her face is.

“Beth…”

We’re still idling in front of the building, but I feel the whole world spinning around me too quickly.

“Minsuh, what’s going on? Did something happen?” I take a shaky breath. “Are the boys alright?”

Minsuh is quick to reach out and grab my hand, and I notice the tremor in her hand as I cling tightly to her.

“They’re fine, I’m so sorry, I should have clarified sooner.” I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. If something were to happen to the boys...I can’t finish that thought.

“Then what’s going on?”

Minsuh shakes her head, turning to face forward again before beginning to drive. Even though I feel immense relief knowing that the boys are alright, now I’m beginning to imagine other scenarios. Why would Mr. Bang call me? He never does unless it’s a schedule call to update me on something.

“Bang wanted to call us tonight, but it was a last minute thing. So he did, and we talked.” I wait for her to continue, and she looks like she’s struggling to even speak right now. “We wanted to wait for you, so he didn’t say much…”

“Well, what did he say? Does he want me to call him?”

“No, he’s still on Facetime with everybody. That’s why I came to get you, though. He said it’s really important and that everybody needs to be present.”

I run a hand through my hair, ignoring how it shakes. This morning when I felt so calm and happy seems like years ago.

“Wait, what did he say though?” I realize that Minsuh has done an excellent job at avoiding the question, which does nothing to quell my fears.

She simply shakes her head, focusing on the road. “I don’t think it’s my place to say, but I swear it’s good news. I’m just shaken up. That’s all.”

Good news? I highly doubt it’s that good if Minsuh looks like she’s about to pass out. In fact, she probably shouldn’t even be driving.

What on earth could Mr. Bang want? And so suddenly?

Of course, my mind wants to scream out at me it’s time it’s finally time, but I shove that voice down. I’ve been through too many close calls thinking that I was finally going to come face to face with my soulmate only to be shut down. That kind of thinking only ends up in heartache.

The drive that should have taken much longer than it did (Minsuh is definitely speeding), is suddenly coming to an end as I recognize the Udon place we ate at last night just a couple of blocks away from the apartment. With every passing second I feel like I’m speeding closer and closer to fate. My right foot reacts instinctively as it pumps the brakes only to realize that I can’t.

I realize for the second time in my life that I cannot control fate when it comes knocking. The only thing that I can control is myself.

By the time we park I’ve been practicing my breathing exercises, trying to get my rapid heart rate under control. The street is peaceful, the evening stars just peeking through the bright lights of the city.

Standing there just outside my apartment, I gaze up at the night sky and breathe. In and out, deeply. I cling to the sliver of peace that settles upon me, promising myself that no matter what happens tonight, the stars will still be there. Tonight, tomorrow, and beyond. Fate may toss whatever it wants at me, but the stars will not fail me.

A soft touch at my elbow alerts me to Minsuh’s presence, and she looks at me for a moment before wrapping her arms around me in a hug. I return the embrace, absorbing the unspoken love and support.

“Shall we?” I ask. Minsuh nods, linking her arm through mine as we enter the apartment.

I’m not sure what I expect to see when I go inside, but I know it wasn’t Bang PD’s face staring out at me from our television. Somebody must have connected their phone to the tv to make it easier for all seven of us to take the call.

“Ah, Bethany, how kind of you to stop by.” Mr. Bang’s warm tone carries the innocent-sounding sarcasm we often use with each other. I smirk up at him and I take off my shoes and hurry over to the couch, taking a place between Minsuh and Himari.

“I saw you called me. Sorry I missed it, some of us have work to do.” Mr. Bang grins down at me, and I hear Seohyun give out a strained chuckle. A quick observation shows everybody to be in a similar state to Minsuh. In fact, it looks like Minsuh is better off than most of them. Probably the reason why they sent her to pick me up in the first place.

Mr. Bang clears his throat, drawing my attention back to him. He’s looking beyond his screen, and my heart stutters as I wonder who else is in the room with him.

Please not Namjoon, please not Namjoon.

“So what’s going on? You don’t tend to call without scheduling it first.”

Himari slowly moves her arm until it’s linked through mine, her hand gently squeezing my forearm. I glance at her but her eyes remain glued to the tv.

“Well, remember that conversation we had a little while back, when you requested that I give you a 48 hour notice before meeting your soulmate so you could have enough time to catch a flight to Antarctica?”

I swear I hear a surprised laugh in the background of the call, but the pounding of my heart in my ears overpowers any other sound at the moment.

Breathe, now is not the time to pass out. Remember, that’s Aera’s job.

“Uh-huh,” I mumble out, then remind myself to not look like a zombie. “Yeah, I remember. Why do I get the feeling that I’m once again the last person to know about something important?”

When a few of the girls come out of their trances enough to chuckle knowingly, I suddenly lose the ability to move. Instead I sit there completely still, awaiting Mr. Bang.

Awaiting fate.

Which, in most cases, Mr. Bang and fate are pretty synonymous for me.

“Yeah, sorry about that. You’re just hard to get a hold of sometimes.” When I have no snarky reply for him, he continues. “Ok, Bethany. Consider this your 48 hour notice.”

It takes about five seconds for the weight of that sentence to really sink in.

I always thought that when I was given the long awaited news that I would shortly meet my soulmate, the world would slip away from under me and I would feel like I was floating among the stars. I would be happy, shocked, I don’t know. I would just float there and Namjoon would be the only one to bring me back to earth. Him, and only him. It would be beautiful, and that would be the beginning of everything.

Instead, the world suddenly comes into focus.

I’m blatantly aware of everything surrounding me. It’s like I’m seeing the living room for the first time, seeing the girls for the first time as they turn to assess my reaction. Everything is so tangible, so real.

I can’t tell if it makes me feel small or empowered or just extremely human. Whatever it is, I pull through the shock settling into my bones just enough to slip back into that sarcastic charm I’ve relied so heavily upon all my life.

“Alrighty then,” I mumble, frowning slightly when it comes out in English. Mr. Bang simply grins again. I get up from the couch, the sudden urge to move and feel the ground beneath me impossible to resist. “48 hours? I could probably pull some strings, make it to Antarctica in time. You don’t happen to have any pilot friends, do you?”

Tension that I didn’t know what there before fades from Mr. Bang’s face as he laughs at my ridiculous question. Again, his eyes trail away to look beyond his screen. Who is he looking at? I can’t muster up the courage to ask. Instead, I slip into professional mode. It’s easy enough, seeing as I was just in my meeting this afternoon, slipping into the same persona.

Right. This is just a meeting. We need to hash out the date and time, location. Just like any other meeting. Make it through this meeting, Beth, and then you can do whatever you need to do.

“Ok, I’m assuming that you already told everybody else all of this before I got here?”

“Yes, I did. Sorry, I couldn’t wait.”

“That’s fine. Did you already go over what time? Where?”

Mr. Bang straightens up at my tone, a flicker of an emotion similar to respect in his eyes. “No, I haven’t yet. Would you like to now?”

I nod, then scurry off to where I dropped my bag when I entered. Grabbing my phone from my purse and pulling up the notes app, I settle back down on the couch beside Himari.

“How are you not losing your mind right now?” Himari whispers beside me, so quietly that I almost don’t hear her.

I shoot her an amused look. “Because I think I already died.” I whisper back, and it’s enough to get her to laugh, some of the icy nerves retreating a bit. (and then returning as I remember that we’ve still got our microphones on for the documentary and they caught every word)

I shrug it off, bringing my attention back to the matter at hand.“Alright, let’s hear it.”

↔

The rest of the call passes by in a blur, with Mr. Bang sending us an email with all the needed details. He carefully goes through each point, giving an outline of what awaits the seven of us the day after tomorrow.

Which, as I notice that it’s already nearly 11 pm, is going to be here sooner than I think I want.

“So just go ahead and come up to my office on Thursday, and I’ll be there to help you out with everything else. Sounds good?”

Everybody numbly nods, the emotional exhaustion setting in. I can’t help but grin as I realize with a start that I was given the news about having a soulmate on a Thursday three years ago, and now I’ll finally meet him on a Thursday.

It would appear that fate has a thing for Thursdays.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to just drive there? It’s not that far from here.” I ask the question for the second time. It’s nice that he wants to send a van from the BigHit building, but it just makes me feel a little silly. Like we’re famous or something. Which, when I see Ichika sitting at her usual spot on the floor with a bowl of cereal at her feet, I note that we are anything but famous. I don’t even know when she got up to get cereal.

At least she’s eating. I’m not sure I can stomach anything right now.

“Don’t worry about it, please. I know that it’s going to be a stressful day for everybody, the last thing you need to worry about is driving. The van will be there at 5 pm sharp, just be ready.”

I nod, letting it go. It will be nice to not have to worry about driving, even though it’s only a half hour drive from here. I’ll just have to find something productive to do all day so I’m not losing my mind.

“Ok. That’s fine. Is there anything else?” I hide behind a yawn that quickly passes to Himari at my side.

“That should be everything. Double check the email in the morning after you’ve all rested, and let me know if you need anything.” Mr. Bang sighs, clearly as worn out as we are. “We’re all excited to see you.”

We. “By we you mean you and the staff, right?” I jokingly ask, earning a laugh.

“Obviously. And maybe a few other people as well. See you Thursday?”

“See you Thursday.”

He cuts the call, leaving the seven of us alone in the dimly lit room. I stand up, prepared to pace, but find that I’m too tired to even try. I end up laying down on the ground, staring up at the ceiling.

“Ok,” I start, running my hands through my hair for the fourteenth time tonight. “Can someone please explain to me what just happened?”

The others grunt in agreement, each of us just as much in shock as the other.

It’s silent for a couple of minutes as each of us try to process our thoughts. I close my eyes, mind going a million miles a minute as I try to fathom that after all this waiting, I’m finally going to meet my soulmate.

A sniffle breaks the silence, and my head shoots up as I see Minsuh with her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she quietly sobs.

Everybody is quick to move, all of us surrounding her in a matter of seconds. Aera gently massages her shoulders before leaning forward and nuzzling her face into her neck.

“What’s wrong, Min?” Aera questions, and we exchange knowing glances.

“It’s just,” Minsuh continues crying into her sweater paws, the sight making my heart ache. “What if h-he’s disappointed? I just don-don’t want to disappoint him. I thought I would h-have more time…” Her sobs cut off the rest of her sentence, and my heart cracks on her behalf.

“Oh, Minsuh.”

“You’re not going to disappoint him, I promise.”

“Minsuh, you’re the best of us,” Ichika softly whispers, brushing the hair out of her face. “There’s no way Jungkook could be disappointed. Why do you think Bang PD called so suddenly? I bet Jungkook found out about you and couldn’t wait a second longer to have you in his life.”

Minsuh slowly looks up at Ichika, her eyes red and puffy. “You think so? I don’t think so. Do you think they even know about us yet? Maybe Mr. Bang hasn’t told them yet, a-and we’re just going to be an unwelcome surprise.”

I wince at her words, her fears similar to my own.

Ichika shakes her head firmly, her hand resting just beneath Minsuh’s chin as she looks into her eyes.

“Absolutely not. Minsuh, that’s not going to happen. You know what’s going to happen?” Minsuh shakes her head ‘no’, her eyes wide. “I’ll tell you what’s going to happen. We’re going to meet our boys,” Ichika’s voice wavers with emotion, but she continues on. “And it’s going to be the best, most memorable day of our lives. We are going to go together, because we’re sisters and we have each other’s backs through thick and thin. We’re going to walk in there and see them and you know what’s going to happen? Aera’s going to pass out, Soon is going to lose the ability to speak,” Soon chuckles, nodding her head in agreement. “Himari is probably going to trip over her own feet, I’m going to spill something on Taehyung, I’m certain about that. I’m not sure what Beth is going to do, but I can guarantee it’s going to be something embarrassing. Very, very embarrassing.” I gasp, pinching her. “Ow! And Seohyun is going to burst into song or something and not be able to stop.” Minsuh bites her lip, a little smile gracing her features. “But you know what? You’re probably going to waltz in there like a freaking princess, and Jungkook is going to be in absolute shock. You’ll make up for all of our clumsiness, and you’ll be so amazing because you already are.”

The seven of us stay like that for a long time, Minsuh’s quiet sobs finally subsiding some time later. At some point she falls asleep, and Aera curls up on the couch next to her, quickly following suit.

Seohyun gets up to go make some tea, Ichika offering to help.

“I’m making chamomile, to help me sleep. Anybody else want some?” The rest of us request it, knowing that we won’t be able to fall asleep as easily as Minsuh and Aera. Not when I keep startling myself every five seconds as I suddenly remember that I’m meeting my soulmate in less than two days.

Himari pats the cushion next to her, and I settle down with a grunt. She flops her head onto my shoulder, and we both stare out the far window into the street. Kyung-soon takes up a spot on the floor at our feet.

“I don’t think I’ll really be able to believe it’s happening until we’re there, actually meeting them,” Himari says.

“Me neither,” Kyung-soon fiddles with her blanket. “Do you think they’re freaking out as much as we are?”

“Oh definitely,” Himari chuckles.

The thought of the boys sitting together and talking like we are now warms me up like hot chocolate.

“Oh, no. What am I going to wear?” I wonder aloud. Everybody else groans in agreement. “Anybody down to go shopping tomorrow?” I ask, already mentally planning an outfit. Everybody is quick to agree.

By the time Ichika and Seohyun arrive with the tea, Aera has roused from her sleep, rubbing her neck.

“Were you guys talking about going shopping?”

Slowly but surely, the heavy shock begins to lift and a lighter feeling replaces it. As I look around the room at my soul sisters, a little pang of nostalgia strikes me. This is one of the last times we’ll be like this. Just the seven of us, with so much uncertainty hanging over us. I wonder how many times I’ll revisit this memory of us sitting together in the middle of the night, entertaining ideas about the boys, outfits, and all the possibilities life has yet to offer us. Future nostalgia indeed.

By the time we actually do decide to go to bed, it’s already 4:30 in the morning. The conversation had taken many different turns throughout the night, including all of us eventually talking about our concerns. We’re excited, yet so afraid.

Aera and I sneak up the stairs as quietly as possible, careful to not wake Minsuh who’s still sleeping on the couch.

“Hey,” Aera whispers before I slip into the darkness of my room. “You didn’t really say a lot about how you’re feeling with everything. Are you sure you’re ok?”

I nod slowly, exhaustion painting itself over my features. “I’m fine, I think. To be honest I think I’m so tired and shocked still that I don’t even know what to feel at this point.” Aera nods along, understanding perfectly. “Maybe I’ll know after I sleep. I think I’m happy, though. And terrified.”

“A great combination.”

“Yep. See you at breakfast.”

Aera raises her eyebrows at me. “Breakfast? I don’t think so. I’ll see you at lunch.”

↔

For the second day in a row I wake up after 10. I blearily open my eyes, checking the time and grunting in indifference. I roll over again, trying to talk myself into sleeping in a little longer. I deserve it. Jet-lag, emotional exhaustion, and staying up until nearly 5 in the morning have done quite the number on me.

I’m nearly asleep again when I sit up straight in my bed, my brain remembering the reason why I was up so late last night.

“Holy freak, holy freak.”

Was that real? I’m still so tired that it feels like a dream.

I scramble to my bedside table again, pulling up my emails on my phone. Sure enough, the email Bang PD sent last night is still there. My eyes drink in the information as quickly as possible, triple checking the date before I finally allow myself to breathe again.

Oh yeah, it’s real. And it’s tomorrow.

The need to get up and move around is suffocating me, my heart already pounding like I’m running a marathon. I slip into the nearest clothes I can get my hands on, the blouse and jeans making me look way more put together than I feel, and I rush to the bathroom to throw my hair back into a ponytail and slap the bare minimum of makeup on my face.

I'm in such a rush that I nearly forget to brush my teeth, and before I know it I’m tiptoeing down the stairs and past Minsuh’s sleeping form still on the couch. I have no idea how she’s been able to sleep this long, I definitely envy her.

Before my brain even catches up with my body, I’ve grabbed my purse and shoes by the front door and slipped out into the morning. The second the door clicks shut behind me, I breathe in deep, closing my eyes as the sun warms me up.

It’s much easier to process everything once I’m outside of the apartment and back in the real world. My feet make their way about three blocks away, to a street vendor that I frequent on the days I have morning meetings.

There are a couple of free benches on the sidewalk, and I sit there as I eat my breakfast. I haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon, and my stomach is probably what really took control this morning. However, it’s still not enough to make me finish all of my food. I eat about half before I stop, my brain grinding its gears again now that I have some food in me.

As I watch the hustle and bustle of the city all around me, I feel like I’m in some sort of limbo. Everybody is going about their normal business, oblivious to the fact that my life is at a hinge-point and I’m not sure which way it's about to swing.

Try as I might, I’m still restless. There’s not much I can do to help that, I’m sure I’ll be like this until I’ve met my soulmate and put my worries to rest. I wonder if Namjoon is up and as restless and me right now.

Minsuh’s words from last night come back to haunt me. What if they don’t even know about us yet? I can’t decide which one is worse, them knowing and anticipating us, or a surprise visit.

I eventually muster up the strength to order six more meals before beginning the trek back to the apartment. The burn in my arms as I carry a heavy bag on each side brings me a sense of satisfaction, the energy I’m using acting as an excellent distraction.

It’s already noon when I walk through the door, and I see Seohyun talking quietly with a half-asleep Minsuh. “I’m back, and I brought food!”

Seohyun smiles readily at me, her smile contagious. “You left? I swear, we need to put a bell on you or something.”

“Do you want my food or not?”

It doesn’t take long before Seohyun is in the kitchen, divvying up the food to Minsuh and Kyung-soon, who’s still got a towel on her head from the shower.

“Is anybody else up?” I ask, and everybody shrugs in response.

“I thought I heard Himari get up not that long ago,” Kyung-soon offers, and I set off in search of my friend.

I follow my hunch, climbing the stairs as I make my way to the top floor of the apartment. I ponder waking Aera as I pass our floor, but go against it and continue up the stairs. There’s two bedrooms up here, which belong to Ichika and Himari. I knock on Ichika’s door and tell her that there’s food downstairs. Her response is a groan and a thud that sounds suspiciously like her body hitting the floor. I suppress a giggle and continue on my journey to the upper balcony.

Sure enough, Himari is lounging in a chair with her face turned up toward the sun. Her eyes jump open as soon as she hears me opening up the sliding door and sidling out.

“Hey Himi,” I greet.

“Hey. Is everybody else up?” Her voice sounds like she just woke up.

“Yeah, except for Aera. Who knows when she’ll get up. Probably not for another hour or so.” Himari nods, closing her eyes again. She has dark circles under her eyes. “Did you get any sleep?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“No, not for more than sixty seconds at a time. You?”

I nod a little, grateful for the good five hours I got. “Yeah, a bit. I went out and bought food for everyone if you’re hungry.”

Himari hums in acknowledgement, not making any move to get up. Instead I settle down on the chair beside her, propping my feet up on the railing.

We stay like that for a while, basking in the companionable silence. There’s so much to say, and yet I’m at a loss for words. What does one say in these kinds of situations? ‘Hey, don’t screw up meeting your soulmate tomorrow! Go, fight, win!’

It’s Himari who breaks the silence nearly ten minutes later, and I wonder if she dozed off for some of that time.

“I...I don’t know what to feel.”

I wait, knowing that more is coming. When she doesn’t speak for a while I prompt her. “What are you feeling right now?”

Himari sighs, sitting up and stretching. I notice that she’s wearing the same clothes as last night. She must have just came straight out here last night.

“I feel so tired that I can’t hardly think straight, but I’m so wired right now that I can’t sleep. I feel like I’m drowning, and like I won’t stop until tomorrow. And tomorrow feels so far away but at the same time it’s way too soon. I keep thinking that Hoseok must be feeling something similar, but what if he doesn’t even care? I think, more than anything…” she turns to look at me, and I wince at the fear I see in her eyes. “I keep imagining what he’s going to say when he finds out that his soulmate isn’t even Korean. Not that I think he would hold that against me, but I can’t help but think that he might be a little let down or uncomfortable knowing that his soulmate is from Japan.”

She settles back down with a huff, and I do too. It’s something we’ve talked about a lot, the fact that we’re not from here. Neither one of us care that our soulmates don’t share our nationality, but it’s something that I’ve worried about a lot, imagining what Namjoon will feel when it turns out his soulmate is very much an American.

Sitting here, looking at one of my best friends in the world, I can’t imagine Hoseok being anything less than elated. Himari is amazing. Loyal, hilarious, smart as a whip and one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen in real life.

I’ve told her as much every time we’ve had this conversation. There’s not a lot left to say. It’s a hopeless feeling, knowing that even the most honest statement will do little to mend another. So I choose a different approach.

“Well, if Hoseok is sad that you’re Japanese and not Korean, I’ll just tell everybody that Trump is my uncle or something and he’ll be so grateful to have you that it won’t even matter anymore.”

Himari looks at me like I have horns coming out of my head before she bursts out into laughter.

“Oh my gosh that’s the best idea you’ve ever had!” Her cackles fill up the street, and I find myself laughing alongside her. “Sounds good. Deal.”

↔

Nearly three hours later finds the seven of us piling out of two cars as we arrive at the shop Aera picked out. She finally stumbled down the stairs around 1, exhausted but ready to go shopping. It took some convincing to get her to eat first, but it paid off in the end.

I can’t help but gawk at the as we enter the store apparently owned by one of Aera’s friends within the designer circle.

“Holy cow,” I mutter under my breath. My friends chuckle at the English phrase, it always makes them laugh. “Are we even allowed to be in here?”

Aera laughs at my bewilderment even as Minsuh drags her away into the depths of the store. “Of course!”

Time seems to stand still as we spend hours in the shop, trying on different outfits and each of us vying for the attention of Aera as we trust her opinion the most. We bicker back and forth about how casual or formal we should dress, until Aera finally texts Bang PD to ask. He responds with “wear whatever you want” which does little to help.

“Ok,” Aera rounds us up like a preschool class. I munch on a churro that I snuck out and bought a few minutes ago, Himari eyeing me suspiciously. “Let’s just follow Mr. Bang’s advice and go for something we each feel comfortable in. I would advise a casual-nice outfit, we’re trying to make a good first impression after all. At the end of the day, though, I want you guys to stay true to what you like. I know you all very, very well, so I will know if you’re lying.”

Ichika salutes her before heading back into the mess of clothes she’s picked out. The clock above her has me dropping my chin to the floor.

“Um, what time does the store close?”

A worker pipes up from the cash register. “Don’t worry, we’re open until midnight.”

I sigh in relief, glad that we won’t be in too much of a rush even though we’ve already been in here for hours. My stomach protests staying in here without proper food for much longer, and I promise it that I’ll be done within the hour.

↔

An hour and a half later five of us waddle out of the store clutching our bags as we make our way to the nearest restaurant. Minsuh opted to stay behind with Aera, who had been so busy helping everybody else that she hadn’t even hardly begun looking for herself. She assured us with a wink that she wouldn’t take long. Apparently her professional eye had already picked out a few outfits throughout the day.

The five of us order food, settling our things into a corner booth as we complain about our feet hurting and discuss our outfits.

“We’re going to look so good.” Himari smiles, and I’m glad to see that her confidence has taken a boost since this morning.

“We need to make sure we get enough sleep tonight, though.” I add, giving her a knowing look.

“Ay ay, captain.”

The rest of the night passes in a blur, Aera staying true to her word and showing up with Minsuh only thirty minutes later. When she shows us her outfit, we all agree on it.

“How are you so good at these kinds of things?” Seohyun asks, bewildered. Seohyun has a reputation for being indecisive when it comes to her clothes, she relies heavily upon Aera’s expertise.

“Practice, practice, practice.”

“Speaking of practice,” Ichika interjects, “We need to practice not losing our minds tomorrow.”

People glance at us from their booths, clearly wondering what we’re talking about as we bounce ridiculous ideas off of each other. At one point Kyung-soon says she’s going to run laps around the BigHit building in order to burn off some steam before going in.

“Jin’s going to look outside the window and see you in your new outfit running laps around the building.”

“Yeah, and he’ll probably just say, ‘screw it, I’m joining her.’”

“Actually, that would totally happen.”

“Meanwhile the rest of us are hiding in the van.”

“Eating churros.”

“Oh, definitely eating churros.”

“Do they sell churros here? Now I’ve got a craving.”

By the time we make it back home we’ve eaten our fair share of churros (my second one of the day), Seohyun bought earrings, and we’ve come up with a code word for Aera when she feels like she’s about to pass out. (the code word is ‘holy cow’. Yes, in English. I’m dying for her to use it.)

We all go our separate ways, Ichika behind me as I climb the stairs to my room. She pauses to hug me goodnight before continuing up to the next level. It’s late enough for me to not even bother checking the time before I slip into my pajamas and fall into my bed. Who knew shopping could be so draining.

Fate is kind to me tonight, as I fall asleep in no time. The final thought on my mind is the fact that tomorrow is Thursday, and my life is going to change forever.

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Ok! I’m so excited for our girls to finally meet the boys! I’ll upload pictures of the outfits I was thinking of for everybody. I hope you enjoy! If you want to join the taglist, let me know! :)

taglist: @heartblackerthancoffee @mae-musicbitch @taylorroe3

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thejudgingtrash · 4 years

Note

Now hold up I would personally love to hear a full rant on this supposed adaptation I have never heard of until now. Like, legitimately, I wanna know what you have to say about this cause you seem to be one of the most valid PJO blogs

Uhhh what??? Me one of the most valid PJO blogs??? What kinda crack have you been smoking WHAT afahsgjskdh.

But still thank you 😊🥺🙈

Alright, you wanted a rant. You got a rant. Fuck the positives let’s just straight up jump into my aggression.

WARNING: Massive rant with a lot of swear words. If you can’t handle the heat, feel free to ignore this. I personally haven’t worked in Hollyweird, but I had some behind the scenes stuff here in Europe going on for a short period and also the trusty words of my college professors. So here will be a lot of prediction and speculation involved. Yes, I know that I’m a huge hypocrite for voicing my opinions based on stuff that hasn’t been pushed through in months and that I could be easily proven wrong in a few weeks/months. Still thank you should you actually take the time to read through this tomfuckery.

If things are wrong, please DO correct me!

Links to further reads will be included partially.

TL;DR: Keep your hopes to a low, stop harassing people online and mAnAgE yOuR eXpEcTaTiOnS!!111!!

Okay. First things first:

DISNEY

DOESN’T

GIVE

SINGLE

FUCK

ABOUT

YOU

Disney is a fucking multi-billion dollar corporation with many, many, many studios, stations, brands and franchises worldwide. The Percy Jackson franchise is a dime in a dozen. Disney doesn’t give a single fuck about the PJO fandom in general.

Disney doesn’t give a fuck about you 20-something year old with your 9 year old blog discussing which toilet paper brand Percy uses. And Disney also doesn’t give a fuck about you 16 year old, writing the worst fucking Solangelo fanfic I’ve read so far on this hellsite. Like goddamn.

Trust me, they know you are interested. They know they got you hooked. They see the numbers, they see the like/reblog ratio, they see the Twitter engagement. They see you with #disneyadaptpercyjackson. They see the petitions, they see how excited you were for the musical. You don’t get to be a gigantic conglomerate like Disney with playing stupid.

Also to you fuckfarts saying oH nO I wOn’T wAtCh It I dOn’T cArE aBoUt NeW sTuFf. Congrats dipshit. You are STILL alerting followers and people about what’s happening and creating more buzz, giving more awareness and adding to the transaction costs. You really cheated the system, you little edgelord. Again:

You are nothing but a number. You are a fucking walking dollar bill. You are a consumer waiting for a new shiny product to fill the void in your life for 45 minutes weekly or by two hours at some point.

The PJO movies 1. & 2 happened for a reason. Because Fox saw a popular book series á la Harry Potter, Twilight (and The Hunger Games) and wanted a piece of that action. They wanted your fucking money. Them entirely fucking up and ignoring Riordan’s advice is on them of course. But still. The movies happened. (And also saw people saying they were flops. Reception wise: hell yes. They are awful adaptations (not per se awful movies, there’s a difference). But money wise?? They made together over 245 million dollars in profit. Of course, that isn’t today’s Marvel level but it’s still fairly decent. Also don’t forget that the second movie still got greenlit. Interest was still there despite part one. You disliking something doesn’t turn it into a flop)).

Again, Disney doesn’t care about you. THIS is what Disney cares about:

1. MONEY

2. PROFIT

3. ENGAGEMENT

4. TOTAL GROSS

5. CONVERSION RATES

11. …. “Artistry“

So in terms of money, we gotta speak about the on-going woke culture. You know, lgbtqia+ stuff, poc representation and all the good shit we want and need in our life, right?

Well, I got bad news for ya. Disney being money hungry has its massive downsides. Because where is the money? In the east. Well and what happens if we include the woke stuff? Possible censorships (even retroactively! You know Gravity Falls went through that), bans, etc.

So all of you talking about representation and artistic vision and being bold and brave and blablabla… Throw that into the fucking trash. We can probably be glad if we get Grover back as the token black kid and a few other minorities sprinkled here and there. Open gay Nico? Doubt it. Your afro-latino Percy head canon? Definitely keep that but unlikely to be realized. And also, if you think that Annabeth wouldn’t get turned into the blandest whitest “I dOn’T nEeD nO mAn“ radfem, I got some bad news for ya…

The likelihood of everything being dumbed down, toned down with the exception of a few adult jokes or being even partially censored (depending on certain regions) is very, very high.

Also what makes you think we’re even getting close to the Heroes of Olympus and Trials of Apollo saga? I doubt you will see The Seven for a long time unless Riordan really says fuck it and throws his final ace card into Disney’s filthy greedy mouth.

So if Disney doesn’t have the fandom’s interest at heart, what are they interested in? Well… MONEY. Also NEW engagement. They know your funky ass is going to tune in. They know people will pirate the shit (Me waving like a maniac), they all KNOW that. Again, they aren’t stupid.

So: MORE engagement. MORE money. How do we get even more engagement? By luring new people into the fandom. Who is most likely going to get lured into a family friendly show/movie series because let’s not forget that we’re talking about Disney+? The targeted audience of the books. Who is the targeted audience of the books? MIDDLE SCHOOLERS. 11 to 14 year olds. Disney wants those kids’ (well their parents’ hard earned) money. They want to sell products, in that case books + Disney Plus subscriptions + possible merch. There you also have the likely future rating for the fucking show. Sorry to disappoint everyone that was hoping for gritty Game of Thrones filled with 12 year olds (like seriously wtf?).

Now that that’s settled, let’s talk about the outlook on the show/movie and Riordan’s influence that you people clearly overestimate.

How much power or say does Rick Riordan actually have?

ZERO. ABSOLUTELY NONE.

He’s in the worst fucking lose-lose-situation you could imagine.

Disney owns the books and Fox owns the movie rights. Wait. Fox got bought. By whom you ask? DISNEY, what a coincidence! In Rick Riordan’s own words:

Disney has him by his fucking balls and could crush them at any minute. And if you think, that Disney is letting go of that sweet sweet intellectual property you are fucking mistaken. Riordan isn’t a J.K. Rowling who OWNS the Wizarding World. You have no idea what Disney are capable of with massive lobbying that goes so far to influence copyright laws in the States (LINK)

So you can stop harassing him about a fucking Netflix adaptation as well! Or petitions that do nothing but annoy people.

These negotiations take up YEARS to get the simplest stuff done. No need to shit your pants whenever Riordan’s tweeting stuff.

Still: would Disney be fucking mad to do this without him? Absolutely!

Should Disney involve him to prevent a PJO movie 2.0 scenario?

Yes, they definitely should!

But CAN Disney do this without him?

OF COURSE THEY CAN! THEY OWN EVERYTHING.

In Riordan’s own words:

Read carefully what he has written. He doesn’t say he’s going to halter productions, he’s saying HE WON’T BE A PART OF IT. This also makes me curious about WHO approached WHO in the first place (my guess Disney tried to make some amendments because Fox ain’t shit and trying to alienate the author again would be a goddamn stupid move). Disney has the fucking film rights. Of course they can pump out shit without involving him. They could pull a Fantastic Four (the awful 2015 version) just to keep the rights and for the fuck of it.

There are the following possibilities with Riordan’s involvement:

1. Riordan as a producer: Dude’s gotta be loaded. We know that. But backing the production costs many, many, many millions and I don’t know if he’s THAT loaded. Also film producing isn’t his forte.

2. Riordan as a screenplay writer: Now we’re getting closer to something. Yes, many productions these days have authors directly involved which is great! But also can go the other way around (J.K. Rowling and her Grindelwald fiasco. Author’s do NEED to learn when to stop intermeddling with their franchises, just saying) Book writing and screenplay writing are two very DIFFERENT disciplines. You don’t have the liberties of book writing when it comes to film. The screenplay is the guide for the entire production, the visuals, the set design, the whole atmosphere of the product, the very first thing that needs to be done so that directors, designers and lastly the casted actors know what they have to do. Everything has to come to a point in a very short time and there are many, many, many versions of a screenplay before a final raw draft gets handed out. If that isn’t in Riordan’s interest (which I can completely understand) then that’s simply not happening

3. Riordan as a guide: Directors, screenplay writers, etc. sit down with Riordan on a regular basis to show him the written screenplay, which actors they have in mind, the whole vision and he has a mini veto right.

If you ask me, a mix of scenario 2 and 3 is the most likely to be the most successful. That means, that Riordan needs to have a good faithful team, that sticks closely to the source material. That isn’t guaranteed! Again: look at the PJO movies. But of course, we don’t know the internals of these meetings.

So… now the final part. The whole fucking “Animation vs. Live action“ debate. Well, both sides have their pro’s and con’s. And both sides are filled with a bunch of fucking morons. I won’t try to get you to either side.

But to those that want are begging for a live action version with age-appropriate actors I have the following to say:

FUCK

YOU

PARTICULAR!

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT CHILDREN TO GO THROUGH THE HELL THAT IS DISNEY AND THE SHADY SHIT GOING ON THERE SO THAT YOU CAN BE ENTERTAINED FOR SOME MERE MINUTES?!

Oh my god…. You people REALLY really want a fourth wave Me Too movement in 15-20 years. Not every Hollyweird kid has a helicopter parent hovering around them on set and many do get abused/robbed by their parents. And the people involved in the production! Of course, animation has still a chance of this happening but the risk is somewhat lower when it just comes to voice acting.

Tbh, I actually wouldn’t mind an aged-up cast again just to prevent this as best as possible. Unfortunately, child actors will always be needed.

I have nothing much to add to this, I’ll just drop a link to an old small post from me about that right here (LINK)

Personally I lean more towards animation but in the big picture I won’t care. (Also the whole animation is for kids and dumbs down the whole narrative for PJO is fucking stupid, boo boo the fool. You being in your late teens/twenties and grown out of the targeted audience is the cause of nature. Animation can be mature or would you show Attack on Titan or South Park to your 8 year old cousin?)

I’ll be just tuning in to see if this is as messy as I’d expect it to be or to be pleasantly surprised.

Also again: this process is a long one. It’s going to be exhausting, depressing, demanding, pushing.

From the meetings now that will take a very long time, to a screenplay, which can take YEARS in finalizing, to hiring staff, location hunting and set design (should they go the live action route), to casting, to costume design, to rehearsing/production, to filming, to dispersing, to editing, to fx, to finishing, to marketing, to publishing, NOTHING IS SET IN STONE! This is a very, very, very, wanky process despite contracts and everything on paper. Let’s not forget, Disney can afford some good lawyers.

And even if everything goes as smoothly as possible. Higher up people could see the final edit of everything with editors having scenes close to the books in an a/b/c/d cut and some producer says NO! I want an c/a/b/d version that again fucks up the dynamics of the books. Or something terrible: everything is shot and done and THEN it get’s postponed. Or even fucking worse: SHELVED to be NEVER RELEASED. Aka Henry Selick’s career after Coraline (Coraline from 2009 is STILL his latest release because of his fucked up Disney contract and them cancelling his shit). Millions of dollars wasted and we won’t get to see ANYTHING. This is all very possible and happens constantly in the film business AND at Disney. This is nothing new.

And there’s nothing we can do about it. No one cares about Riordan, no one cares about the books, no one cares about the fandom.

DISNEY holds the cards. DISNEY gets to decide. Neither Riordan, nor you nor me hold ANY power in this.

So kids… what have we learned today? In conclusion:

Keep your hopes to a low, stop harassing people online and mAnAgE yOuR eXpEcTaTiOnS!!111!!

That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say.

WHEW.

#percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #percy jackson movie #percy jackson #percy jackson adaptation #disney #disney adapt percy jackson #annabeth chase #grover underwood #nico di angelo #rick riordan #riordanverse #my rants

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dolphin-enthusiast · 4 years

Note

Idk if you've done this before and I've got nothing creative so please could I get some Headcanons for The Bucci Gang if their S/o suddenly disappeared out of thin air. Not bc of a stand or anything, she just disappeared and didn't even say goodbye? What if like years later, they come across their S/o again and if they talk, she seems as though she's never met them before? But she actually has no idea who they are. Weird ik but yeah.

My 🅱️ruh u better give urself more credit bc this is one of the most original ones I’ve gotten so far-

Bruno:

- Once he learns about s/o’s disappearance, he’ll be in constant denial for a few days because he simply cannot (and doesn’t want to) grasp the concept of his partner leaving his side like that out of nowhere. He always tries staying as logical as possible even during stressful situations, therefore he’ll try not to worry too much in the beginning, continuously telling himself that s/o has to pop up soon enough.

- Alas that doesn’t happen and after a week the man is in a damn frenzy. Bruno would start being uncharacteristically stressed as well as slightly more snappy, and the gang would undoubtedly notice it too. The man would then begin to eratically search for his partner left and right, sending his subordinates to investigate the entire city, but all to no avail of course.

- Weeks would turn into months, then months would become years and s/o would still be nowhere to be found. Each second of her not being by his side would absolutely crush Bruno’s poor heart, making the man become significantly more closed off and distant. So just imagine the pure shock that would take over his features once s/o would just pop in out of nowhere one day. The pain would only get worse once he’d realize that for some reason she has no idea who he is. Honestly this would entirely fuck him up and he’ll spend (even more) nights fully awake, thinking about what went wrong and desperately trying to find a reason as to why his s/o decided to leave him one day just like that. To be honest, it would have been better for him if she never showed up again at all.

Giorno:

- Similar to Bruno, as in he doesn’t outright panic and tries going over things logically. He thinks of all sorts of scenarios and reasons as to why his s/o would just disappear out of thin air without even leaving him a message or something before going away. It’s extremely uncharacteristic of her he has to admit, but he still tries to keep a (somehow) optimistic attitude. She HAS to show up sooner or later....right?

- But of course that it doesn’t happen and so he takes it upon himself to go and search for her. At first Gio would think that it was the work of an enemy stand or perhaps the mafia again, but turns out that it wasn’t the case at all. No matter where he went to or who he asked, he just couldn’t find a single trace about s/o’s whereabouts. That’s when he’d start panicking for real and would slowly become more and more sleepless and grief filled. He just doesn’t get why s/o would ever do such a cruel and unexplainable thing.

- Gio would be utterly shocked to randomly spot her one day after so many years, so he’d waste no time and approach her with a hopeful smile. That’s when his heart would get shattered once more, for s/o would be looking at him with the emptiest and most coldest look that he’d ever seen. Gio would ask her dozens of questions, but to no avail. She’d keep claiming that she has no idea who he is and that’s when he’d realize that he truly is hopeless. He’ll bitterly accept the fact that he’ll never get his partner back, but the memories of his past are going to haunt him forever. At this point, it’s almost as if it would have been better if s/o was actually dead. Then again, she is dead to him for sure.

Abbacchio:

- Probably the one who would react in the worst way. Like prepare for maximum fucking angst, because this is one of the quickest ways to COMPLETELY fuck this already damaged man over. It’s already hard enough for him to let people in, so just imagine how hurt and betrayed he’d feel once he’d realize that his s/o suddenly vanished from his life without a trace.

- That’s when Abba would swear to never open up to anyone, and this time he’d REALLY mean it. He already lost someone in the past, so this would be like reliving trauma all over again for him. At this point he won’t even search for her, the man would just completely shut off from everything and everyone and dwell in grief and repressed anger. He feels utterly betrayed and keeps beating himself up for being so foolish as to open up to someone else again. Despite the fact that the rest of the gang would be there for him and trying to get him to loosen up, all of their attempts are sadly going to be in vain.

- So when s/o DOES eventually show up after long and painful years, Abba is going to straight up ignore her. Yes, you heard that right. He wouldn’t even want to look her in the eyes, that’s how spiteful and hurt he still is, even after literal years. And it’s probably for the best anyway, because if he were to find out that she also completely forgot about him, that would have been the last straw honestly. Even to this day, Abbacchio keeps telling himself that things would have been far more bearable if s/o didn’t return at all.

Mista:

- Instant fucking panic. He already worries enough whenever s/o comes home later than usual and all of that, so just imagine the sheer anxiety that would take over the poor man when his partner would be nowhere to be found an entire fucking day. And it would only get worse as more days would go on. At some point he’ll even start crying over and over again and no matter what the rest of his gang would try, it wouldn’t help soothe his nerves at all.

- Mista is going to beg his gang to help him find his s/o and the man will literally lose sleep since he’d be unable to stop his racing thoughts at all times. His mind would keep coming up with countless of complicated and highkey tragic scenarios about his s/o dying or getting kidnapped. I mean, that would be the only logical explanation for her sudden disappearance, right? Why else would she just leave him randomly like that?

- Once s/o shows up again after literal years, he’s going to burst into tears and immediately run up to hug her only to notice that she’s acting extremely off. This wasn’t the s/o that he knew years ago. What in the world happened? The man would bombard s/o with questions, and when she’d reply that she has no idea who he is Mista is going to have a goddamn aneurysm. That’s when he’d throw tantrum and accuse her of being a liar, starting to rant about how hard the past years have been for him and how hurt he was by her sudden departure, only to be met with another empty look from his now ex partner. Once again, maybe it would have been better if she didn’t return at all.

Fugo:

- Reacts almost as bad as Abbacchio tbh. Fugo doesn’t easily trust, but when he does he TRUSTS so he’d feel twice as betrayed by his partner suddenly leaving him. He’d immediately go into panic mode after a few days so he’ll start desperately seeking answers left and right. Poor man would have EVEN more anger outbursts than usual since he’d be stressed out of his damn mind.

- He would start isolating himself and thinking over this entire situation inside the cold emptiness of his room. Literally everything would start reminding him of his s/o and, although he hates showing emotions, the man would start crying himself to sleep night after night thinking about how lovely it felt to wrap his arms around his partner’s body as he contently drifted off to sleep. But not anymore. All of that was cruelly ripped away from him one day, and something keeps telling him that he’ll never experience it ever again.

- Alas his instinct was right, because the day s/o returns Fugo’s heart is only going to get crushed more. The man would instantly lighten up and would almost cry out of happiness once he’d see her again, starting to run up to her only to stop dead in his tracks when he notices the look on her face. His confusion and anger would only grow as s/o would keep telling him that she has no fucking idea who he is. At this point it would be too much and Fugo would just say fuck it and throw a few nasty curses at her before storming off, tears of disappointment and repressed anger running down his cheeks. Yes, it truly would have been better if she never ever showed up again.

Narancia:

- Immediately freaks out after one mere day passes. He starts looking for her left and right, asking anyone if they seen her or if they know anything about her whereabouts. Hell, he’ll even beg Bruno to help him search for her with the most desperate expression ever plastered on his pained face. In the beginning he would try being as optimistic as possible, constantly reassuring himself that it will all solve itself and that s/o will return at some point.

- But that sadly doesn’t happen, and so poor Narancia would slowly seep into despair more and more with each passing day. Every second in which s/o wasn’t by his side was pure torture for him, and at some point he even started to lose good amounts of sleep because of it. Narancia is not one to be negative usually, but this would cause even him to become pessimistic and even hopeless at some point. He’d be constantly locking himself up in his room, most likely crying as he remembers all the wonderful memories that he made with s/o. If he wasn’t curled up in a corner in his room, he was entirely ignoring everything around him and constantly spacing out in his own dooming thoughts.

- Now, the second he sees s/o again he’s running towards her at the speed of light whilst exclaiming that he knew that she’d come back at some point. But this ain’t no fairytale, so Narancia’s dreams would get crushed once again when he hears s/o confess that she doesn’t know him at all. He’ll take it as a joke at first and try to humor her, only to realize that she was dead serious the entirety of time. That’s when the panic would settle in again and he’d desperately try to make her remember him by showing her pictures or telling her things that only she knew about him, but to no avail. Narancia would start wailing again and he’d dread the day that he met her. Sadly, it would have certainly been better if she didn’t return at all.

Bonus - Trish:

- Absolutely fucking heartbroken, She had dedicated herself entirely to s/o only to discover that she one day disappeared from her life without a single explanation. Although Trish isn’t usually pessimistic, she’d start beating herself up for s/o’s disappearence since she’d start believing that she somehow did something to upset s/o THAT much that she felt the need to just...leave.

- Similarly to Narancia, Trish would soon enough lose the last bit of hope that she had left and would slowly start shutting off more and more. Her appetite is going to decrease and she’ll start having little to no motivation to do pretty much anything. Bruno would constantly be taking care of her and bringing her food, and his heart would break whenever Trish would weakly refuse it all. Literally no one would be able to cheer her up since she’d be literally fucking depressed.

- The day s/o returns though is going to be an even bigger blow to her already shattered heart. She would be unbelievably happy to see s/o again, and so she’ll start asking her dozens of questions only to be cut off by a cold “and who are you?”. Of course that this would absolutely shock Trish and she’ll be confused as all fuck by s/o’s weird ass behavior, but Trish being Trish, she wouldn’t give up at all and would stubbornly press s/o for answers which would only result in her getting more and more angry when she gets no answers. She cannot comprehend why s/o forgot about her, and honestly it would have been better if she never returned altogether.

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #vento aureo #bucci gang #jojo headcanons #headcanons #one of the rare pieces of total fucking angst on this blog #yikes

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memesiders · 4 years

Text

Part 8

Death x OC Office AU

“What’s that on your neck?” Neema asked, jumping down the last step of the stairs leading to the school. I frowned and ran my fingers over my neck, uncertain of what she meant. She shook her head and pointed to the left side of my neck. “It looks all red.” I slapped my palm over the mark, blushing brightly. The memory of Death biting my neck played on a loop in my head and I silently cursed; was it noticeable to anyone else? Had everyone seen it and just didn’t say anything? The thought was mortifying.

“It’s nothing,” I said quickly. “Just a rash.” She placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head, giving me an unbelieving look. “It’s nothing, I swear.”

“Mhm… Then why are you covering it like that?” I bit the inside of my cheek and lowered my hand slowly, hoping it wasn’t anything she could figure out. She got on her tiptoes and tried to get a closer look but I pushed her away, turning so she couldn’t see it.

“Look, I have ten minutes before I’m supposed to be back at work, so let’s go.” Neema rolled her eyes and we started away from the school, heading home.

“You know you don’t have to pick me up,” she muttered. “I can get home just fine on my own.”

“I know that,” I replied, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “But I wanted to walk you home today.” That wasn’t a complete lie, right? I did want to walk her home, the main reason being that I was afraid of seeing Death or Amber right now. I was worried if he saw me, he’d ignore me or tell me that what I did was unacceptable. Maybe he’d even fire me, I didn’t know. I was terrified to see Amber because… well, she always managed to keep Strife away and if she could do that, I didn’t even want to think of what she’d do to me.

It wasn’t that I thought she was into him, but she seemed to have a lot of respect and care for him, like a friend. If she thought I was using him, there was no doubt in my mind that she’d snap me in two.

We crossed the street and Neema moved out from my grasp and wrapped her arms around one of mine, resting her head against my shoulder. “I know you’re bullshitting, but that’s alright. I’m just happy you’re not upset with me.” I frowned and looked down at her, petting her hair.

“Why would I be mad at you, Neem? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I know, but you were upset the other night and I wasn’t sure if you were angry with me or not.” I scoffed and shook my head.

“Never. I was just being a bitch because of my hangover and what happened at the party. I’m sorry I made you feel like I was upset with you.” She squeezed my arm and I smiled, kissing the top of her head. We reached the apartments a few minutes later and I gave her a big hug. “I love you and you haven’t upset me at all, promise.” She squeezed back tightly, burying her face in my neck.

“Okay, I was just nervous. I love you too, ZiZi.” We split apart and I waited until she was inside before I started back for the office, rubbing my hands against my sides. It was starting to get too cold out. Halloween was just around the corner and winter was coming with it. Pretty soon I’d start working later, too. Just another week or so and Nora would be heading out as soon as I came in.

It was nerve-wracking to think about working all by myself, without her help or guidance. I was getting a better grip on how everything operated, and I was probably fine without her, but there was still a lot of fear of messing up or getting booted before my three month trial run was up. My stomach churned at the thought of reaching the three months and not retaining my position. I’d screwed up so much these past few weeks that it was hard for me to imagine keeping my job, but damn if I didn’t want it badly. I liked where I worked, I didn’t want to lose that. I had to strap on my big girl shoes and stop acting like I was ungrateful for my opportunity.

I hurried inside once I reached the large black skyscraper, rubbing my hands together as I was hit with a gust of warmth. Thank God. I hurried back to my station and plopped down into my seat, sighing with relief. Nora smiled at me and turned in her chair, legs crossed.

“Cold outside?” she joked. I looked at her and nodded hard.

“Very. I’m gonna have to invest in a nice coat for this winter,” I answered, teeth still chattering. I rubbed my arms and leaned back in my seat, letting out a cold breath. “Anything happen while I was gone?” She shrugged and grabbed a few packages from under the desk.

“These came in for Shelly and Jenna. They need to be delivered.” I sighed and nodded, taking them from her hand.

“I guess I’ll be delivering these, then.”

She nodded. “Oh, and Amber stopped by for a minute, looking for you.” My heart went into my throat. I gripped the packages tightly, my fingers turning a pale brown, almost white.

“Really?” I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “What did she want?”

“I don’t know. She just asked where you were and told me to give you that.” She gestured to an envelope on the table that I hadn’t noticed before. I swallowed, finding it hard to do even that, and picked it up. The envelope shook in my hands and I carefully opened it, pulling out the small note inside.

Please come back after your shift

It wasn’t Amber’s handwriting; I had seen her signature before. Is it Death’s? The warmth I’d started to earn back instantly drained again. This is it; I’m done. He’s gonna fire me for kissing him, right? No workplace romances or some shit like that. I forced the terrible thoughts down as Nora gazed at me with worry.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” she asked gently, lightly touching my arm. I put on the best smile I could muster up and nodded, attempting to act nonchalant about the whole thing.

“Yeah, I’m good,” I lied, shoving the note back into the envelope. I stuck it into my purse and zipped the bag up, kicking it back under the desk. “I just have to go see Death again after my shift ends.” Her lips formed a frown.

“Is something wrong?” I shook my head quickly.

“No, nothing’s wrong, promise.” I picked up the two packages and stood. “I’ll be right back, gonna go deliver these real quick.” She nodded hesitantly, obviously skeptical of my answer. I wasn’t the worst liar in the world, but I certainly wasn’t the best. I gave her a thumbs up and headed to the fourth floor, clutching the parcels tightly to my chest. I closed my eyes and took deep, calming breaths.

Stop thinking of the worst-case scenarios, damn it. Maybe he just wants to clear the air and doesn’t want you to think that there’s something else between you? Or you left something in his office and he wants to give it back? I snorted at that scenario. If I’d left something in there, he’d have had Amber bring it down, or even delivered it himself. Not everything has to be terrible. I physically shook myself off when the elevator dinged, the doors opening up.

The fourth floor was the best, in my opinion. Everyone was talking and joking while also doing their work. There were pictures of families and funny memes on everybody’s desks, accompanied by trinkets and toys like bobble-heads and Funko Pops. I smiled as I stepped out and headed down the rows of desks, saying hi to everyone that greeted me. It was amazing that anyone got any work done with as much chatter and laughter there was. Nora told me that the fourth floor was one of the best when it came to getting stuff done. It was probably because of how kind and pleasant the atmosphere was.

I couldn’t imagine what Death’s reaction to the commotion would be if he had to work down here. I chuckled to myself, picturing an ever-increasing look of annoyance and anger on his face. Yep, he’d absolutely hate it. This was probably more Strife’s style. I reached the end of the aisles and greeted Shelly as I reached her cubicle. She looked at me and smiled, giving me a small wave.

“Hey, Aziza,” she greeted back. “I’m guessing you have something for me?”

“That I do.” I handed her one of the packages and her smile widened, her bright hazel eyes shimmering with excitement. She tucked some neon yellow strands behind her ear and tore open the packaging, squealing happily when she pulled out a small box. I cocked my head a little and smiled, arching a brow. “Do I even want to know?”

“I’ve been waiting for this from the South Office for almost two weeks now.” South Office was Strife’s building. I stared at her, waiting for her to continue explaining, but she never did. Her smile fell a little. “Sorry, it’s top secret so I can’t really tell you what it is.” I nodded and shrugged.

“Well, it made you happy so it must be something good.” Her smile grew again and she nodded furiously, her bangs bouncing against her forehead. I said goodbye to her and went back to the elevator, heading up a few floors. I wonder what top secret stuff she had delivered? Was there a mole in the company or something? Was someone embezzling? Oh, oh, maybe she has to dig up dirt about a competitive company and had to enlist Strife’s office for help and-

The elevator dinged again and I jumped, yanked out of my thoughts. There you go again with your extravagant thoughts. I smiled to myself and shook my head, stepping out into the ninth floor. Up here, there was no personality to be had. Everyone was quiet and typing away on their computers, a few people talking on their company phones. There were barely any pictures and absolutely no bobbles to be seen. It was the type of floor I was sure Death wanted them all to be.

I wonder if he assigns people to the floor he thinks they’d fit in best? It didn’t entirely make sense, seeing as the fourth floor was IT and the ninth floor handled accounting and finance, but it was strange how everyone on each floor had the same energy; no one felt out of place. I made my way to Jenna’s cubicle and knocked on the desk. She whipped around and looked at me, unamused.

“What?” she asked, rubbing the side of her head. “I’m pretty busy here.” I held up the package and shook it lightly. She took it from me and sighed, tossing it on the desk. I leaned against the cubicle wall and arched a brow, looking between her and the package. She took off her thin rimmed glasses and cleaned the lenses, looking at me again when she put them back on. A vein in her forehead was starting to jut out.

“What? Something else?” I shrugged.

“Just curious; what were you expecting?” I asked. She scoffed at me almost dramatically, and rolled her eyes.

“How the hell did HR let you slip past them? There’s no way your application should’ve been on the boss’s desk at all. Incompetent, nosy-”

“Sticks and stones, Jenna, sticks and stones.” She clenched her jaw, blue eyes narrowing at me. She pointed towards the elevator and jerked her head in its direction.

“Scram, before I report you.”

“For what?” I scoffed, pushing away from the wall.

“For anything I want, just go!” I had the urge to stick my middle finger up at her, but I suppressed it and gave her a sickeningly sweet smile instead.

“Fine, I’ll leave,” I said politely. “Call me when you manage to get that broom handle out of your ass.” I flipped around as she gasped and went back to the elevator, resisting the urge to run back and break her jaw. We hadn’t gotten along the first time Nora had introduced us, and I had a feeling we were never going to. I smashed the lobby button and shook my head, gripping the railing tightly. The last thing I’d wanted was to deal with some uppity bitch. She’d probably love to see me fired.

The doors opened up a few moments later and I shoved away from the railing, storming out. I went back to my seat and fell into it, rubbing my temples. They were starting to throb lightly. Probably because of all the stress, I thought.

“I take it Jenna was in a mood,” Nora asked. I looked up at her, frowning.

“I wanted to punch her in her throat.”

Nora laughed.

#death x oc #death #darksiders #office au

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randomfandomimagine · 5 years

Text

Fate Is Sealed. Chapter 2

Fandom: John Wick

Pairing: John x Elizabeth (OC)

Previous Chapter - Chapter Index - Next Chapter

READ IT ON AO3

Warning: Violence and swearing.

The air was hot and heavy as I walked into the garage, contrasting with the cool breeze from outside. I spotted the man I was looking for and walked towards him.

“Hey, Aurelio” I greeted him, causing him to turn around to me.

“Elizabeth!” He grinned at the sight of me, but it vanished when I got closer. “Shit, what happened to you?”

“The usual” I muttered, letting him hold my chin up to analyze the damage.

“Fuck, you look terrible”

“Thanks, now will you forget about it?”

“Want me to get someone for you?”

“Just please, forget about it”

“Fine… What brings you here, love?”

“Watch it” I told him half-jokingly, knowing how much he liked to tease me. “How’s my baby?”

“Well, that bike was pretty fucked up when you brought it” He motioned for me to follow him further into the car garage. “Art takes time”

“It’s not art, it’s a repair” I chuckled, already excited when I saw my motorbike right there. "Besides, it’s not my fault that those dicks rammed into it”

“I think I don’t actually want to know what happened”

“That’s right, you don’t”

“Anyway, I still need more time. You still have the car I lent you, right?”

“Yup”

“That’ll have to do for now”

“Hey, are you busy? I need to talk about something”

“Sure thing” He walked to a small table and invited me to sit down, so I did. “Want something to drink?”

I laughed a little even if his words made me roll my eyes. No matter how many times he asked, he didn’t get tired of his little joke.

“No, Aurelio” I punched him in the arm as he sat down in the seat across from me. “I don’t want a drink”

“So what’s up?”

“I need info”

“About what”

“About… John Wick”

The smirk immediately erased from his lips at the mention of that name. He paused, frowning, and sat up straight in the chair. Then he licked his lips before he spoke again.

“Why?” He eyed me cautiously, with a new darkness in his expression.

“I need to kill him” I cringed at how stupid that sentence sounded.

“Do you have a fucking death wish, Elizabeth?!” Aurelio shouted, nearly standing from his seat in outrage.

“No, I have no choice!” I threw my arms up in the air in exasperation.

Aurelio vehemently shook his head as he muttered something under his breath. I blankly watched him when he slammed his hand against the table in frustration.

After a brief pause in which he mouthed what clearly were swearwords, he made eye contact with me. He bore a serious expression I hardly ever got to see in them.

“I can tell you about him” He heaved a vexed sigh. “But it’s your funeral…”

“Just… tell me” I gulped, but acquired a calm expression nonetheless. “That’s all I ask”

Aurelio paused to gather his thoughts, dedicating me a grave glance. Like I needed a reminder of how much of a bad idea it was…

“Well, he’s known as the Boogeyman” My friend began, but I held a hand up to shush him.

“Yeah, yeah, I know” I closed my hand into a fist and made a stabbing motion in the air. “And he killed three people in a bar with a fucking pencil, I’m aware”

“That’s right”

“Can’t you tell me something useful?”

“Let me think…” Annoyingly slowly, he tapped a finger against his chin, without a doubt to wind me up. “He’s going to kill you”

I tiredly glared at him, trying to convey how I was not in the mood at all. Aurelio rolled his eyes and crossed his hands over the table.

“Did you hear about his wife?”

“Not really” I had heard a lot of things about John Wick, but they usually belonged to the legend side of him. I knew zero information about the man other than his name.

“She died, like not that long ago” Aurelio sighed once more, this time sadly. “And some Russian brat stole his car and killed his dog”

“I guess that guy is dead now”

“You guess right”

I passed a hand through my hair to hide the shiver that took over my spine just imagining myself in that guy’s shoes. Sneaking a quick glance at the tattoo on the inside of my arm, I reminded myself that if for some miracle I managed to accomplish the deed, people would respect the person who could outwit John Wick. It was all part of my stupid optimistic attitude to try and deceive myself, but still. He was just a man after all.

“You really have to be in some deep shit to even be considering this” Aurelio’s voice got me out of my thoughts.

Honestly, I had no idea what my options were. Live this torture in which Gaige’s goons kept pestering me, try to kill the scariest man I had ever heard of or… I don’t know, fucking change my name and escape to Guatemala.

“Wish I could, Lisa” My friend’s hand suddenly falling on my shoulder made me jump a bit. “But I can’t help you go after him”

“I get it” I sighed, standing up from the chair.

“Good luck, pal” He went to hug me, energetically patting my back.

“Thanks…” I cut the hug short, knowing what his words truly meant.

Before he could say anything else, I turned around to avoid any awkward conversations. I just left the garage with an empty feeling, since my visit was useless.

No one could help me; everyone else would be just as scared to be the possible culprit of John Wick’s demise. Especially since it was likely that my attempt would be unsuccessful and would only earn his contempt and desire for revenge. I wouldn’t root for myself either if I were them.

The first time I saw John Wick in person was outside the Continental. I watched him for days, trying to learn about his routine, habits and movements. Just anything that would prove useful to bring him down.

Like all the days before that, I was sitting inside the car just outside the hotel. I shook my head and laughed at the absurdity of it all. As soon as he’d sense danger, I would be dead. It would be that fast. My mind went through all the worst case scenarios, imagining all the different tools he could use to neutralize the threat.

I slapped my hands against the steering wheel, trying to remind myself that none of that would happen. Not if I stayed away from him. It was cowardly, but I had a chance from a distance. I had a plan.

There he was. As soon as I spotted him, I hurriedly left the car.

John Wick exited the building, wearing a suit with a black shirt and tie. It matched with my all black outfit, which would hopefully blend into the darkness of the night.

I mentally went through his usual itinerary. He was supposed to go get his car, which he always parked in the proximity of the hotel. Not too close but not too far.

As he passed by, his eyes landed on me as I casually leaned on my car. I froze, but decided to look back at him to avoid arising any suspicion. He didn’t even speak; he only nodded his head at me as a greeting. I reciprocated the gesture, figuring he recognized my face from when I seldom stayed at the lobby to keep an eye on him.

Pretending I was sheltering myself from the cold, I put my hood on and waited for him to continue walking. Once he was far away enough to follow him but not to lose him, I started walking.

I gulped as my boots rhythmically hit the ground. Every step seemed to match up with my heart beat as both paces quickened. As I walked, I rested my hand in the small pouch that tightly wrapped around my thigh. My fingers trembled as they silently opened the bag and landed on the gun.

My eyes never left him as he advanced through an alleyway. I gasped, however, when he turned around and I got a better look at him. His hair was combed back, allowing me a full view of his dark brown eyes. That sight alone chilled me to the bone, recognizing the disappointment, anger and fierceness in them.

Aware of my obvious intentions, he lunged at me. I panicked and took ahold of the gun, wielding it with both hands and pointing it at him. That didn’t stop him at all.

He was a mere two meters away from me already, and I was sure he would kill me as soon as he laid his hands on me. At least I was smart enough to ambush him before he could make it to the car and get his weapons.

A scream got stuck in my throat as I pulled the trigger, causing him to stop dead in his tracks. The tranquilizer dart protruded from his neck, and he lifted his hands to touch it in confusion.

Improvising since I wasn’t supposed to be discovered, I tried to reach out to the actual gun hidden in my belt, covered by the length of the hoodie I was wearing. But John Wick had resumed walking, adamant on unleashing his fury on me.

My brain sent the order to my legs to move, to dodge whatever attack he was going to lead with. But I froze, because John Wick was about to kill me and I was paralyzed.

Time seemed to slow down as he lunged toward me. I noticed the dart stuck in his neck and I was impressed at how he was still standing, considering the huge dose the tranquilizer had. He grunted in anger as he tackled me to the ground, eliciting a groan to escape my lips as my back received the hard impact against the floor.

My instinct kicked in just as his hands wrapped around my throat and he began choking me. Before I could start feeling the lack of oxygen to my lungs, I quickly moved my legs so my thighs wrapped around his neck and squeezed as much as I could.

He grimaced, but didn’t release the pressure around my neck. The edges of my vision were becoming dark, so I shifted my posture to be able to squeeze his neck harder. It still didn’t stop him, and I was starting to feel drowsy from the lack of air.

I analyzed his expression, slightly proud at the fact that his face was turning red from the asphyxiation as well. But the dangerous look in his eyes, dripping unadulterated bloodlust, caused me to avert my gaze.

In a desperate attempt to free myself from his choke hold, I slammed my arm against his wrists. The first time it didn’t work, so I did it repeatedly and he still didn’t budge.

I gasped for breath and squirmed underneath him, but he was relentless. A part of me wanted to try and apologize, like that could somehow quench his desire for vengeance after I had tried to kill him. Him... John Wick.

Just when I thought I was about to pass out and die, his grip softened. I took a deep breath immediately, trying to fill my lungs with oxygen, only to be received with a violent coughing fit instead.

I released him from my own chokehold, allowing him to separate himself from me. My hand flew to my throat, still feeling the ghost of his strong hands as I massaged the sore spot.

John Wick stumbled backwards, clumsily feeling about trying to grasp the dart in his neck until he managed to pull it out. But the damage was done the moment it pierced his skin, and the sedative was now circulating through his body without remedy.

I didn’t move as I still lied there on the ground, breathing heavily and cautiously watching him. He started breathing heavily too, gritting his teeth.

Daring to sit up slightly, I waited to see what he did next. Much to my surprise, John Wick let out a shaky breath as his eyes rolled back into his skull and he collapsed face first onto the ground.

“No way…” I uttered, composing myself and slowly standing to my feet.

My entire body was trembling as I towered over him and stared at his unconscious form for several seconds. He lied face down, completely motionless except for the subtle movement of his breathing.

“Holy shit, I did it!” I breathed out, watching him in awe. Granted, I hadn’t actually finished the job. But I was proud that I had managed to survive an encounter with John Wick.

Now for the hard part.

I was still breathing heavily as I reached out for my handgun. Trying to ignore my arrhythmia, I cocked the gun and pointed it at his head. My index finger shook as it hovered over the trigger. Rolling my shoulders to calm myself, I wielded the weapon with both hands to stabilize my aim.

“Goddammit…” I whispered to myself, breathing heavily. “Come on!”

I could only see one side of his face, yet I was astonished to realize how vulnerable the Boogeyman looked at that moment. So helpless, so defenseless… So unlike him…

No, it would only be one moment. One movement of my finger and it all would be over. But even if the implications of that action instantly made me nauseous.

“I have no choice… I have no choice” I reminded myself, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. “Then why is this so hard?”

I couldn’t stop thinking that John Wick had never done anything to me. Of course, he had attacked me, but it had been in self-defense. Before that, he hadn’t been anything but nice to me. He had been almost friendly and cordial, saying hello to me even though we were strangers. And only because we saw each other every day around the Continental. Little did he know, I had been planning his demise.

“Fuck it” I saved my gun and crouched down to turn him around. His body moved limply as I shoved him on his back.

Firstly lifting my head up to make sure no one was around to witness the scene, I took ahold of his arms and began dragging him. Being a tall and strong man, he was very heavy. I was glad I had meticulously planned for every eventuality and the warehouse wasn’t far from there.

Once I had settled John Wick in the chair, inside the abandoned warehouse, I took a breather. Leaning forward and patiently waiting until I caught my breath, I looked up at him. It felt like he could open his eyes any minute and jump at me again, like a supposedly dead villain in a bad horror movie.

Deciding to rest later, being it a priority to incapacitate him, I moved to stay behind him. Thoughts kept popping up in my head, telling me that he was faking and would take any opportunity to end me. That he was not unconscious but only buying time to finish what I started.

My heart thumped against my chest as I tied his hands behind his back, tight and secure, and tugged at them for good measure. Then I immediately positioned myself before him, not wanting to be anywhere near his reach.

His head was hanging forward, chin against his chest, and his hair covered his face. Nonetheless, I observed him with curiosity. It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that I had managed to capture the Boogeyman, that I was standing right before him.

To distract myself before I could be overwhelmed with emotions again, I pulled out my gun and made sure it was loaded. I shook my head, mentally lecturing myself, at the thought that my backup plan wasn’t the best. How would it help to abduct him if I couldn’t shoot at first?

I had convinced myself that it would be different if he was conscious. And if not, I had plans C and D. Following that conviction, I saved the gun and instead picked up the bucket full of water that was on the ground next to the chair.

Taking a deep breath beforehand, I threw the content of the bucket toward his face. He stirred, heavily lifting his head up and opening his eyes. Then he shook his head to get rid of the wet tufts of dark hair that stuck to his forehead and eyes.

I paused, waiting until he was lucid enough to do anything. He peered at me, brows furrowed for a moment until the recognition appeared on his dark eyes.

“You’re awake” I showed him a fake friendly smile. “Good”

His eyes, intelligent and dangerous, carefully traveled around the warehouse we were in. Then they landed on me, watching me in deep though, before he finally spoke up.

“Why are you doing this?” It was the first time I heard his gruff voice, and it sent a shiver down my spine. “Who are you working for?”

I lifted my chin to appear dignified, holding his piercing stare.

“Someone who has unfinished business with you”

“That could be anybody” He said with a humorless laugh.

I moved my hands to where my gun rested, knowing the sooner I finished this, the better. However, he piped up once more.

“What are you getting out of this, money?”

“I don’t want money”

“Everyone wants money” He spoke tiredly, like the whole situation was nothing but an inconvenience. “Why would you be any different?”

“Whatever you say” I feebly pointed my weapon at him once more.

“I was unconscious” He continued, not even looking at my gun. “Why didn’t you kill me?”

“Stop talking” I slowly said, resting the barrel of the gun against his forehead.

“You had the perfect chance to do it“ His eyes were cold and cunning as he watched me closely. “But I’m still alive”

“I said” I paused, crossing his face with my free fist. “Shut up”

John Wick was unimpressed as he recovered from the punch and reconnected his eyes with mine. The silence was dense as we glared daggers at each other.

“You’re afraid” He said through grit teeth, his rough voice dripping with hostility. “You couldn’t do it”

“You want to fuck around? Fine”

I punched him across the face once more, received with the familiar feeling of the adrenaline taking over. Another punch fell. And then another, and another, and another. My brain could only process the catharsis of the act instead of the brutality of it, or how unnecessary it all was. Or how I was only making him mad. And I couldn’t stop myself because I felt powerful for once.

Before I knew, I was struggling to breathe as I saw the results of my outburst. He was completely battered and his shirt was stained with blood. I had lost control, and there was now murder in John Wick’s eyes as a result.

I took a step back, clutching my fist as my knuckles burned in the aftermath.

“Who the hell are you?” When he spoke again like nothing had happened, his voice showcased sheer hatred. Another shiver ran down my spine.

“That’s… none of your business”

“I disagree. I think it is my business”

“Is that a threat?”

We stared at each other, seizing each other up. Then, all of a sudden, he lunged forward in his chair and screamed at me. Even if he was still tied up, I took a step backward.

His dangerous gaze lingered on me, and I held it even if I was busy putting some order into my thoughts. After a brief pause, I pulled out my knife and pointed it at him.

“I don’t think you’re in a position to be threatening me, John Wick” I rested the edge of the knife against his cheek, but he didn’t bat an eye.

To test him, I moved the blade to his neck and slowly began pressing deeper into his throat. He didn’t falter, nor did he try to back up from the threat.

I sarcastically chuckled, even if my heart skipped a beat when I met with his glance. He wasn’t scared in the slightest, but it didn’t matter if he was or not.

“What are you gonna do to me?” His voice had acquired a new roughness, filled with contempt. “Kill me? You don’t have the guts”

“That’s it” I grunted, positioning myself behind him and angrily grabbing a handful of his hair, yanking his head backward as I put the knife against his neck, cutting him slightly. “Stop. Fucking. Talking”

“Or what?”

“Or” I menacingly whispered in his ear. “You’re gonna be sorry”

“Right” There was a hint of amusement in his voice, and I realized why too late.

Standing behind him I had made a terrible mistake. Proof of that was how his hand, still tied up, took ahold of my knee and sharply twisted it, causing me to scream in pain. I squirmed and kneeled down to try and alleviate the pressure of his grip. He took this to his advantage.

Giving that the knife wasn’t against his throat anymore, he pushed his head backwards until it collided with my nose. Then he stood up on the chair and pushed it against me, making me fall down with the force of the movement.

I promised myself not to freeze this time, frantically going for my gun. By the time I pointed it at him, he had crashed on top of the chair with his full weight. When he stood again, he carelessly unwrapped the loose ropes from his wrists. It fell to the ground along with the pieces of wood that survived from the impact. What a beast!

Feeling the imminent threat, I pulled the trigger before he could come any closer. Because I hadn’t aimed first, it landed on his right shoulder. He didn’t even stop, only wincing and groaning at the shot, and continued his advance to me.

I cocked the gun and prepared to fire again, but he kicked it from my hands. It slid on the ground, away from my reach. My heartbeat acquired a crazed pace as he went to retrieve it.

“Fuck” Feeling too shaky to stand, I shuffled backwards to try and escape.

The sight of John Wick wielding my gun and walking closer to me, pointing the weapon at my face, was the most terrifying thing I had witnessed in my entire life. Pure nightmare fuel.

I shut my eyes and tried to mentally prepare myself for death. I gulped when he deliberately elongated the psychological torture by taking his time shooting.

All I could comprehend at that moment was fear. How my chest was going to jump out of my chest if it didn’t stop beating like crazy. I was shaking so much that my hands against the ground stopped supporting me and my back fell against the ground. There was only one thought in my mind. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to die!

I jolted up, gasping at the following sound. Something falling to the ground. I slowly opened one eye to see the gun there, not too far from me.

Puzzled, I looked up to John Wick. He was towering over me, watching me with so much disdain that I had to look away. None of us moved for what felt like minutes.

My mouth was completely dry. Tears burned in my eyes. My throat hurt.

“W-W-Why?” I managed to ask him, avoiding eye contact and doing my best to breathe.

“Consider it a rare showcase of mercy” He responded. “For not killing me”

I watched him with the corner of my eye. He put a hand against the bullet in his shoulder and turned around. He just left me there, shaking like a leaf, and walked away.

Covering my face with my hands, I sobbed as I reminded myself to breathe. I didn’t have any strength, so I just lied there until I recovered from the traumatic experience.

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#fate is sealed #fis #fanfiction #jw #jw fanfiction #john wick #john wick fanfiction #john wick x oc #john wick x original character #john wick x foc #oc #aurelio

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