#i suppose food and drink and a touch of visiting the sick as well?
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Living Before the Edge
Okay wow. I did not expect to actually do the @inklings-challenge but I somehow did! This was so fun, as well, so many thanks to the organizers who created this! I was on Team Lewis and decided to take the more sci-fi-ish prompt (though I fear it's more fantastical regardless). I shouldn't have to give and content warnings but please let me know if you think I do!
_
“Are you lost—”
“meluAAAAAAAAAN!”
A sigh.
“Are you—”
“Meluan, where are you, you little brat?”
The voice is close.
“Are you lost in the—”
The door burst open, interrupting Meluan’s third attempt to record her advertisement. She swiveled on her chair to see a very irate Wynan standing at the entrance, one hand on the door to keep it open.
Meluan considered jumping out of the window into the deep expanse of space, but she was pretty certain that Meryan had installed safety locks to avoid that happening…again. Eh, she’d get past them like always, but Meryan’s inventions were getting a lot harder to reverse engineer these—
A smack on the head and the door creaking shut reminded her that she currently had company.
“Ach, what do you want? What do you want?!” Meluan complained, shaking her head and rolling back, her chair crashing against the desk and jostling all the equipment on top of it.
Wynan was still glaring, her deep violet-black eyes boring into Meluan’s displeased form.
“You’re such an idiot,” Wynan stated, as if it was a fact rather than an opinion, her gaze settling back into something more neutral and relieved. “Meryan and I have been calling and texting your phone for the last half-hour. Relani even went outside to look for you, thinking you’d thrown yourself out again.”
Meluan grumbled, rubbing her head where Wynan had smacked it and using her other hand to dig through her pockets to fish out the phone she’d put on mute. “I was fine. I left you guys a note in the kitchen…”
Her words trailed off as she fished out both a phone and a sticky note attached to the back that said, ‘Will be in the silent room. Get me in an hour if I don’t establish contact within then.’
She stared at the yellow piece of paper with black ink stains.
“Oh…whoops.” Her eyes flickered to Wynan, who rolled her eyes. “Hey!” Meluan protested the action. “I was fine! I was planning on leaving a note, see?” She waved her phone with the note still on it at her sister.
“Key word being planning, actual fact being that you worried the three of us sick by disappearing during the morning,” Wynan sighed, settling down on the other chair and taking out her own phone. “Anyway, what were you doing?” she asked conversationally, texting the Meryan and Relani that Meluan had been safely located.
“I was just recording an advertisement for our station,” Meluan explained, pocketing her phone and the note once again and gesturing to the recording equipment on the table. She tapped the mic, sending an echo bouncing within the silent room. “But why were you guys looking for me? I’m not usually up in what we’ve established as the morning.”
Wynan raised an eyebrow at the first statement but didn’t comment, instead choosing to answer, “We have a new guest.”
Oh.
Meluan hopped out of her chair, remembering to switch off the mic. “Right, sorry…” she winced, fetching her jacket. “Lead the way.”
And lead the way Wynan did, going through the hallway of their space station, dramatically nicknamed the Abode Before the Void, then the A-Void, thanks to Meluan. It was a rather small station—not really a station at all, actually.
A-Void was a three-story house, to put it simply. It had a few extra features, such as a rocket engine and some additional parts that made it more…rocketish/stationish. But when one lost in the deep abyss of space would find it, their first comment would likely be and astonished, “Well, what’s a house doing floating at the edge of space?” When going inside A-Void, the same person would probably continue to be astonished on how it looked like a completely ordinary home with completely ordinary rooms, save for two, inhabited by completely ordinary-looking women.
When Wynan and Meluan found their way to the living room, they indeed found one such astonished person sitting on the sofa, blanket around them and steaming mug of one of Meryan’s concoctions on the coffee table in front.
“Welcome to the place you should A-Void!” Meluan exclaimed by way of greeting, sliding down the banister and bouncing up to land lightly on the coffee table.
While the figure in front of her did jump at her sudden entrance, the drink amazingly did not.
“Off the table, Meluan,” a new voice spoke up.
Both the figure wrapped in the blanket and Melun looked up to see a smiling woman with round glasses coming from the door. She carried a tray full of biscuits and cakes, which she promptly set on the table once Meluan had jumped off it.
“Sorry, Meryan,” Meluan muttered, not sounding sorry at all as she grinned impishly at their guest.
The figure swallowed, their eyes flitting from Meluan and Meryan.
“So sorry to keep you waiting,” Wynan spoke up, settling behind the sofa. When the figure flinched at her voice, jolting to look at her, Wynan added more carefully, “…would you care to give us a name?”
The figure swallowed, opening their mouth before closing it, hanging their head.
Meluan and Wynan exchanged a glance.
“Ah, can’t speak?” Meluan guessed, staring at the person, trying to get a better read when they nodded, confirming Meluan’s guess.
At first glance, the figure seemed to be a rather short and scrawny man, with dark brown hair closely cropped and sharp almond-shaped eyes. Their skin was about a shade darker than Relani’s but lighter than Wynan’s, and though their hunched posture was not very impressive, the knives they had strapped in multiple places and the muscles carefully hidden under their concerningly sheer sleeves—almost covered by the blanket—were not missed. Also not to be missed, Meluan noted, were their prominent tapered ears decorated with rather intricate earrings.
“Uh, don’t hate me for this but are you a man?” Meluan decided on blathering, sensing their discomfort at her staring.
Their guest blinked and rather guiltily nodded before grimacing at Meluan’s nonjudgmental gaze and quickly shook their head.
“…woman?”
A pause before they nodded, not really meeting Meluan’s eyes.
“Do you want to write down your story? Would you rather sign? Meryan here knows all the languages in the multi—er, world,” Meluan continued easily, taking a seat on the coffee table and smiling at their guest.
Their guest hesitated before slowly taking out her arms. “…who…are you? All of you.”
Fortunately, the sign language was one all three present knew. Given that, Meryan and Wynan stayed silent, letting Meluan do all the talking.
“Us? Uh…well, that’s difficult. You could say we’re sisters—we have another one but she’s currently outside,” Meluan answered, leaning back and looking up to the ceiling. Thinking about it some more, she returned her gaze to their guest. “I mean, our living situation is odd but we’re not anyone you should know, you know? But what about you? Do you have a name?”
The guest hesitated before signing the symbols for “solar eclipse.”
Wynan and Meluan both glanced at Meryan, unable to parse the language from the signs. For her part, Meryan took a seat on the rocking chair, frowning.
“Your name is…Sinnelia?” she tried and received an eager nod. Meryan smiled. “That’s a lovely name.”
The beam Sinnelia gave back to Meryan transformed her hesitant and somewhat pinched features into something softer, rather…adorable, too, despite her height. Actually…
“One moment, Sinnelia. You don’t have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable,” Meluan broke in, tilting her head in suspicious curiosity. “But you’re…not a man or woman, are you? You’re a child, a girl.”
Sinnelia froze, whipping her head at Meluan, her brown eyes widening in fear.
“Woah, no need to look so afraid of us,” Meluan soothed, tapping the table. “We’re at the edge of the universe. And there’s no reason for us to send you back to wherever you came from. You’re a guest here, and you can run away from here at any time, too…though, uh, please at least steal some provisions from us first. And preferably a space suit.”
While Meluan’s words managed to take the edge of Sinnelia’s skittishness, she still looked tense. And also confused.
Wynan sighed. “Ignore her, Sinnelia. She doesn’t know what she’s saying half the time.”
“Well, it’s true,” Meluan protested, making a face at Wynan before her expression morphed back into something friendlier for the wide-eyed Sinnelia. “Don’t listen to her either, dear. Wynan’s just cranky because I caused some trouble.”
“If I was cranky every time you caused trouble, I’d be perpetually in a bad mood.”
“Are you not?”
A loud sigh from the stairway leading to the living room interrupted their argument. “Children, don’t fight,” Relani’s quiet soprano voice chided them.
Sinnelia jumped at the new voice, turning to see the other women’s dark-haired “oldest” sister in a space suit. When Relani caught Sinnelia’s gaze, she gave her a kind smile. “Welcome to our humble home.”
“And that’s Relani, our oldest sister,” Meluan explained to Sinnelia, handing her the still-steaming drink before the child could huddle back into the blanket.
Sinnelia took it, gratefully sipping the warm liquid and blinking at the pleasant taste. That was Meryan’s specific kind of magic for you.
“And our guest is called Sinnelia,” Meluan introduced. “Happy to see you back, Relani! How was space?”
The flat look Relani gave Meluan was response enough, and Meluan took that as permission to focus on their guest again. “Sooo…Sinnelia. Again, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. But what brings you to the edge of the universe?”
Sinnelia stopped drinking, the mug still in her mouth before she set it down and looked down at her lap, her hands tightly clasped together there.
“You don’t want to tell us? That’s fine,” Meluan waved off, nodding with a look that one would call smug if it wasn’t so full of mischief.
When Sinnelia looked up at her, she laughed. “I’m serious.” Meluan gestured at the other women and herself. “Again, we have no reason to probe about your life story, though you’re welcome to probe us about us! We love talking.”
“You love talking,” Wynan corrected while Meryan and Relani laughed. But her expression softened somewhat when Sinnelia stared at her. “But she’s not wrong. You must be feeling overwhelmed, after all, lost in space and now suddenly having four people be loud around you. We’re always happy to answer any more questions you have.”
Slowly unfurling her fingers from their tight grip, Sinnelia looked up, blinking at Wynan and Relani behind her before her eyes traced the line between Meryan and Meluan, settling at the last woman.
Lifting her fingers, she carefully asked, “What…is this place? I thought…there was nothing at the edge of the universe.”
Meluan laughed, throwing her arms out and almost hitting Meryan. “This place? This is the Abode Before the Void—”
“That’s the best name we have so far,” Wynan supplied.
“—it’s a…resting stop, if you want,” Meluan continued as if uninterrupted, tapping her fingers against the wood again. “It can also be a place to resupply, a place to talk, a place for…anything, really. Because you’re right that there’s nothing at the edge of universe, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t something before it.” Her sparkling dark eyes softened as she met Sinnelia’s brown ones. “And, you know…it can also be a home.”
Sinnelia blinked. “Is it…your home?”
All four residents of said home nodded as Meluan chirped, “Yep! It used to just be Meryan’s home here, then Wynan’s, then Relani’s, and finally mine. We weren’t always sisters but…the relationship kind of built from there.”
Meryan’s eyebrows went up at the comment. “Uh huh…don’t listen to her, Sinnelia. It was actually Meluan here first.”
Meluan glanced sideways at her sister. “Well, perhaps, but I said it was your home first. It was never my home until all three of you were here.”
At those words, Meryan and Relani’s eyes almost instantly teared up, and even Wynan looked away.
“Meluan…” Relani sniffed, skirting around the sofa to crush said woman in a hug.
“Argh, get off, Relaniiiii! What did I do this time?!” Meluan protested, startled at the sudden display of emotion from the other ladies. “Sorry, sorry, Sinnelia!” she sputtered, looking over Relani’s shoulder at the girl. “They’re all so sensitive, honestly, and I always make them cry—ouch! Too tight, Relani…”
“Sorry,” Relani unrepentantly apologized, letting the shorter woman go, turning to smile at Sinnelia. “Do you want a hug as well?”
Sinnelia startled and shook her head, blushing at the offer. “I see that you’re all very close…” she quickly commented. There was something almost longing in her gaze, a story untold before she shook it off, adding, “But I still don’t understand this place.”
Still behind her, Wynan crossed her arms over the sofa’s backrest, humming in thought. “Well, I’m not sure how to explain this,” she pondered. “It’s like Meluan said. It’s an abode at the edge of the universe…and anyone who finds this place can do whatever they want. Stay, leave, rest, even attempt to destroy it.”
There was a knowing smile exchanged between all four women at the last words that seemed to bewilder the poor child.
“Preferably don’t destroy it. I’m rather fond of this place, not that it can be easily destroyed,” Meryan added, grinning mischievously as she took a biscuit from the plate. She broke half of it and offered it to Sinnelia, who took it after some hesitation.
“Just know,” Meryan continued between bites of the bready pastry, “we’re very serious in telling you that you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need. Or want.”
Setting her treat back on the plate, Sinnelia stared at Meryan, her hand gestures small and tense as she asked, “I’m not…intruding?”
“Of course not. This house is always open to anyone who needs a home for the time being,” the bespectacled woman assured. Her eyes falling on Meluan, who was stacking the cookies while Relani was carefully rescuing them from breaking, she added, “And to anyone who ever needs to come back.”
“You couldn’t intrude on us if you tried,” Relani agreed. “Besides, didn’t Wynan and Meryan bring you here?”
They had, in fact, and while neither Relani nor Meluan had been present, they could guess that they had saved the poor child from the emptiness of space. The somewhat healthier state they saw Sinnelia in right now was probably due to Meryan’s particular touch on the drinks. After Wynan used her own touch to give the girl a restful sleep, and Relani whipped up some of her special food, she’d likely be in tiptop health.
But the child didn’t know any of that.
She merely nodded at Relani’s observation, her shoulders relaxing from the tension they’d been locked in. And looking back at Wynan, Sinnelia signed clearly to her, “Thank you for helping me when I was going to die…I suppose…I didn’t really want to die, given how grateful I am to be alive.”
“And thank goodness that you’re alive,” Meryan quietly muttered, rocking back and forth quietly. “I hope you don’t ever feel so burned and trapped that you believe you must flee to the cold edge of the universe to find healing.”
“Mhmm,” Wynan agreed, smiling when Sinnelia’s head jerked back forwards to gape at Meryan. “I’m just glad we found you when we did.”
Tears began to form in Sinnelia’s eyes.
Clearly, they had touched a sensitive area.
“Oh, woah! Ladies, keep the sappiness down a bit!” Meluan stammered, back on her feet. “There, there, Sinnelia, don’t cry. Or, no…just let it out. You’re all right to cry here.”
And she did…crying silent tears, head lowered and one arm covering her face. Wynan rubbed the girl’s back soothingly while Relani went to the kitchen to fetch some of her more savory treats and warm up more of Meryan’s drinks.
When Sinnelia had collected herself, however, she looked up at them all, eyes rimmed with red and looking more and more like the child Meluan had earlier noted she was. “I’m sorry,” she managed shakily. “I just…am scared that this is a dream.”
“No, no…dreaming is for sleeping—oof,” Meluan sputtered when Wynan threw a pillow at her face.
“There’s no real way to tell if this is a dream, true, except for our assurances that this is very real,” Wynan offered the girl. “But there’s nothing to be scared of here.”
That only set off more tears, though they seemed tears of relief.
“Unless you want to be scared! But again, if you want to run, at least steal some of our stuff before heading back out—ach, Meryan!” Meluan gagged when the other woman unexpectedly grabbed her in a chokehold.
Meryan chuckled. “Enough, Meluan, you’re confusing the poor girl, and she seems confused enough already.”
Tentatively, Sinnelia wiped her eyes as she offered the two of them a smile. “I’m…all right. And…if it’s all right, can I stay? Just for a little bit. I know I’m asking a lot when you don’t know me but I…want to stay.”
“Of course,” Relani laughed, offering the girl one of the more savory cold pastries. “I wish we could explain better what this place is, but for now, if you know that you’re allowed to stay here at this Abode Before the Void and rest, that’s enough.”
And after another drink from the mug, Sinnelia took the pastry, watery eyes shining.
…………
“Are you lost at the edge of the universe? Have you reached the final frontier and realized you want to go beyond? Well, my friends traversing this cold emptiness, my fellow lost ones who have wondered if going beyond to the void and emptiness is better than wandering this eternal frost…before you decide to take that step across the edge of your universe, won’t you consider sharing a meal with four rather bored personages? Our company may be wanting but our home and food should hopefully be enough to make up for it. And you won’t even have to look for us either. We’re more than happy to find you if you so wish. And anyway…”
A merry little laugh interrupts the cheerfully dramatic monologue.
“Our home is always right there before the edge of the universe. Feel free to come in.”
#inklingschallenge#team lewis#genre: space travel#theme: shelter#i suppose food and drink and a touch of visiting the sick as well?#story: complete#for the words!#lemon duck quacks#i hope i got the story posting format right for tumblr....#anyway christian themes in spaaaace! woohoo!#lemon duck tales
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Wonderwall (3/5)
Alex rolled around in bed, restless and unable to sleep. Autumn in Roswell meant chilly air and fallen leaves and the smell of pumpkin everything everywhere, much like New York, but unlike New York, it wasn’t flooded with noise on top everything, so Alex had nothing to distract him from his memory of Michael Guerin’s words, his touch, his eyes as he’d all but pleaded with Alex to push him against the wall and take him.
He turned his face into his brother’s guestroom pillow, groaning. There was this idea that vampires didn’t sleep, which was just untrue. They could sleep fine, if they wanted. And Alex wanted to drift somewhere far away from the cowboy and his alluring scent. But his ever-growling stomach and heightened senses weren’t allowing it.
He was going to die. Or he was going to kill someone. Preferably the cowboy.
“What was he thinking?” Alex demanded into the darkness of early morning. Didn’t he understand what he’d said? What he’d confessed to? Who he’d said it to?
I’m an alien.
Alex supposed someone else would be freaking out, marveling, skeptical—something other than tortured in their own lust. But no. Alex was a vampire and he’d seen a lot worse than aliens, if you can believe it. All Michael’s confession did was put a few things into place. Alex had known he wasn’t human, he’d known Michael’s blood affected him in a way nothing else did, and know he had answers.
Unfortunately, they did very little to dampen his want for the cowboy. And how Alex wanted him. How he’d wanted to take him up on his plea and push him against the wall, to lick every inch of his body, to hear his moans and groans. To bite into that thick, strong neck and drink. The growling grew louder and Alex hugged his stomach, curling in deeper on himself.
He couldn’t give in. No matter what, he couldn’t give in. He’d kill Michael, he knew he would, and he hadn’t killed in too long a time for him to accept it as part of his nature anymore.
But there was still his brother to think of, and when Gregory wanted to drive into town for supplies, Alex couldn’t very well let him go.
“Alex,” Gregory said in that exasperated fond tone he always used with his brother, always forgetting Alex wasn’t actually younger than him. “I can do my own shopping.”
“Just let me do this,” Alex said, pulling on his leather jacket. “It’s why I’m here.”
Gregory brows pinched slightly and he tilted his head. “But you haven’t seemed okay since you got here.”
“M’just hungry,” he murmured, avoiding his brother’s eyes. “I’ll grab something on the way back. Maybe a rat or something.”
“I still have a few bags of cow’s blood in my fridge,” Gregory offered, since he always stocked up for Alex’s visits. “Have some of those, too.”
Yeah, Alex thought. Maybe enough blood in his stomach would dim his hunger and Michael would no longer be much of a threat.
With that delusion in mind, Alex grabbed every bag of blood, and bid Gregory goodbye with his mouth on the straw. He would be fine, he thought. Totally and completely fine.
Alex was totally and completely the opposite of fine. As soon as he’d set foot in the grocery store, he felt it. Him. Somewhere here, lurking around. For the first time, he’d felt nauseatingly stuffed. Not full, per say, never full, but stuffed kept him as satiated as it was possible to be. Even after humans, he’d been able to endure no more than a few days without feeding. With animal blood, he usually got to eat to his heart’s content and be okay to go without anymore food for a week, sometimes two.
So he’d stuffed himself in the car on the way over, so sick with blood that he didn’t think he could look at another cow or rat. Michael Guerin was no cow or rat. His species was another thing entirely, and Alex had not expected the full effects of him to hit the second they were within sight of each other. He hadn’t expected the hit to his stomach that threatened to kick out the excess of animal blood he’d had to make room for something purer. Something so, so much better.
Michael, on the other hand, didn’t seem the least bit shocked to see Alex. He cornered him in the meat section, leaning against a glass display of seafood, hands in his pockets.
“Twilight,” he greeted, and Alex glared. “Or is that not an accurate representation of your people?”
“So you found out,” he gritted, pinching the bridge of his nose. The closer Michael got, the worse he felt. “Shouldn’t you be running away?”
“Should I be?” Michael tilted his head. “Why? You didn’t.”
“You’re not the Halloween creature, are you?” he snapped, but his anger only seemed to amuse Michael.
“Clearly you haven’t seen any Independence Day movies,” he grinned. “Which make the Twilight flicks look like documentaries, by the way.”
Alex refused to stop glaring, even as his lips twitched. There was no inkling of humor, however, when Michael took another single step towards him, bringing him to arm’s length, and Alex’s pain increased.
“P-Please,” he murmured, “stay away, you—you have to stay away.”
Michael considered him, his own humor dimmer as well. “I don’t want to, Alex. Hey,” he said softly, reaching for Alex’s wrist. “It’s okay. I know you want to bite me—”
“Don’t say that word,” he grit out. He tried to move around Michael, but Michael caught his arm. “What’re you doing?”
“C’mon,” Michael said, suddenly serious, and he dragged Alex out of the store to the back alleyway where shadows grew and no one followed. Alex half-thought Michael would hold himself against the wall again, demand Alex take him. It was hard to think too much though of anything but Michael’s fingers around Alex’s arm, Michael’s heat, the pulse point of his wrist. His blood smelled like honey and sunflowers and rain. Maybe that was why it was so easy for Michael to pull him as he did; Alex was in half a daze from hunger.
Maybe that was why he didn’t realize Michael was pushing him against the wall until Michael pressed his body in against Alex’s and tilted his chin up.
“Bite me,” he told him.
Alex shook his head, eyes fluttering even as he tried with all his might to fight it. His hunger was going to kill him.
“Are—Are you crazy?” he breathed, his voice weak and breathless to his own ears. “I’ll kill you, you have to run.”
“Weren’t you listening?” he demanded. “I don’t want to.” He slid a hand into Alex’s hair, tugging at the roots. Alex bit back a moan, but Michael made no such reservations. “Fuck, your hair’s so fucking soft.” He brushed his open mouth against Alex’s. “I bet your lips are even softer.”
“Please,” Alex whispered. “Please, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Do you want me to walk away?” Michael demanded, one hand cupping Alex’s jaw and holding his eyes. “Tell me you want me to leave, and I will, Alex. Tell me.”
Alex opened his mouth, knowing he should send this man away for good. Looking into his hazel eyes, he believed that Michael really would leave him if Alex told him to. It would kill them both, but he’d do it. Alex found he wanted nothing less.
He tapped a finger against Michael’s hip, tongue running over his sharpened fangs, his cheeks flushed. “Do you have any powers? Super strength or something?”
Michael’s lips quirked up, like he could read Alex’s mind. “I’m telekinetic.”
“Good,” Alex huffed, sliding his hands under Michael’s jacket. “Then if I don’t stop, throw me off.”
Michael grinned fully now, something evil and reverent in his eyes. “No.”
And he pulled Alex’s head in until his lips were pressed against Michael’s neck. Alex wasted no time, his fangs sinking into Michael’s skin. Michael groaned, but instead his arms going slack like what happened with Alex’s other victims, his arms tightened around Alex’s shoulders closer. Alex felt none of it, thinking of nothing except the taste of Michael on his tongue.
If he smelled like rain, he tasted like a storm. Like skies at war with one another, eager to dominate. In other words, Michael tasted like a beautiful, sweet, unnatural catastrophe, and Alex wanted to keep tasting him. He clutched at Michael’s waist and hip, pulling him in so unbearably close that nothing could’ve fit between their bodies, that Alex could feel Michael’s heart race against his own chest.
None of it was enough. Alex wanted more, his eyes shut to the taste of Michael on his tongue. He wanted to breathe him in, to hear him groan louder against his ear, to feel every inch of Michael on his skin.
He could’ve kept drinking until Michael was dry, he wanted to, and he might have . . .
“Alex . . .”
Michael didn’t utter Alex’s name with any fear, panic, worry. He didn’t think Alex would hurt him, and that was when Alex felt it. Michael’s grip on him tightening, pulling him in closer. He wanted more of Alex just as Alex wanted more of him.
He could’ve kept drinking. He would’ve. But he wanted something else a little more. He wanted more than just Michael’s blood.
Alex forced himself back, and he pulled off Michael with a gasp. Blood trickled down his chin, and Michael, eyes half-lidded, reached up to where drops of blood were trickling down the side of his neck from the two needle-sized holes that were now there. Alex swallowed, wondering if this was the moment Michael would truly realize what he was.
But then closed the distance between them again and breathed, “Baby.” He gathered the blood off Alex’s chin as well and stuffed his fingers into Alex’s mouth. The weight of them alone almost had Alex gagging, and a bolt of heat shot down to his groin.
Alex’s eyes fluttered as he swallowed the blood down, sucking on Michael’s fingers long after they were clean. Michael pulled his fingers out only to replace them with his lips, and that feeling nearly made Alex pass out. Michael’s lips on his own were something else entirely, their mouths open, their tongues sliding against one another.
Michael tilted his head to deepen the kiss, and Alex felt Michael’s hard length against his own. When he pulled away, Alex instinctively whimpered, clutching his waist.
“Don’t,” he murmured, “don’t move away.”
“I’m right here, baby,” Michael grinned, putting his elbow against the wall and pinning Alex’s body with his own. He ground his hips, and Alex’s mouth hung open. Michael tilted his chin up with two fingers, and for someone who’d just had their blood sucked, his face seemed oddly flushed as he grinned wide. His eyes sparkled like the stars he’d come from.
“You and me are gonna have a lot of fun.”
***
Fair warning from now; the next chapter will be entirely smut.
Happy Malex Monday ❤
#alex manes#michael guerin#malex#malex fic#roswell new mexico#roswell nm#tyler blackburn#michael vlamis
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The man security guard that sits in the library with a strange head shape designed to help people not want their nuclear children for fair ones all the time that can't provide what disabilities do
Some things from life are truly missing...
He walked up to wear I was trying to not have a migraine by laying down on my side to avoid a seizure and threatened to step on my head
So I told him you can't walk up to people if you don't care about their basic well being you can't walk up and serial killer though...you do actually have to work in triage to approach storm victims
So I told his boss....that their security came up to me to help the psychopath society feel it could collect off storm casualties
People who neglect due process and refuse to ever follow protocol do only receive territory in Louisiana for leaving people to die in Katrina
Broke down house or a prostitute homo life not anything poly or more intelligent just a scary back wood and a broke down house
And his boss asked me if I wanted her to call anyone so I said no....it's a siege of the most notorious you have to wait for it to slowly confess and better or you have to kill hygiene terrorists in jobs that turn everything into a kuwait crisis inferno
You have to prosecute no one...you think the worst person is the professional and their scary jewish obligation and the starbucks baristas do have a daddy that parasites on homeless foundations
I was like no you hire serial killers I don't want anything from you....
I dont know about the housing crisis in Paris but I suspect I'm not liked there as a latin because if people gave me a room of my own and a nice blanket set from a mother I would truly fly France flags all the time and be like really proud people like me believe in African America and a spot on the floor in an apartment is beautiful and quaint not truly illegal labor
And people do kill no one....florida housing with the strange moat out back you have to empty it for job bodies or pale is to homo social and has no unique feature
Europe to me is actually getting to go somewhere where people do things...and enjoy affluence not some strange house seclusion housing is always so strange
Then i informed security....trying to kill innocent's is the worst thing that can happen to someone....and that he is too sick to be in the library and people do more get sick of his light settings
You think the worst people are outside and that no one security freak is what's spreading a light fungus
You have to call some guy around to assault you from a job Iraqi forces and enlist to kill it or you can't truly be allowed injunctions on nurse misery
If you don't join the police you can't finally place no contact orders on daddy's gross sick school girl that wouldn't stop touching your drink or food plate
The police may live very privately out by wealth homes...
I don't enjoy kill policy the things I have seen women become willing to cross those liminal mind barriers....i wouldn't want to truly lose my freedom from being a wild person
Martin Luther....the thing is with chabad synagogue is it's lighting is too for male art perhaps I was wondering why I couldn't ever visit them.....and they probably were suppose to be who admitted people from masculine shame rituals and it's maybe an artistic death trap in there
I don't think anyone goes in there most likely their lights may be create a pestilence
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May 2022: San Salvador, El Salvador
We apologize that we have been neglecting this page. A lot had happened since we last posted here. If you’re interested in getting more frequent updates, reflections and photos of our journey, check out our Instagram page @walkingtogetherblog
From Shinei:
We ended up staying in Guatemala for two months as Samaya received her vaccinations and regained her health. We rented a rustic cabin, made friends, improved our Spanish, volunteered, and even had a visit from Soten’s dad and Cindi! We started walking again a few weeks back and crossed into El Salvador. Then, this last Tuesday, we suddenly realized that our visa was about to expire! We made it to the capital, San Salvador, just in time to get a visa extension and then promptly became very sick! That’s where we’ve been, sick in bed, for the majority of this week.
Sickness is a teacher. It shows us what we are attached to…our plans, feeling good, our bodies. The truth is that any of us could get sick today and never get well. Anything we are identified with, anything we are attached to, including this precious body, can be separated from us at any moment. If we are not willing to let these temporary manifestations go, we suffer. We suffer not just at the time of separation but even now, because whenever there is identification and attachment there is also the fear of loss and the anxiety of maintaining that which we fear losing.
Another thing sickness teaches us is what is healing and what is toxic. Our sensitivity to foods, drinks, entertainment, activities and even to thought is heightened. I find myself able to detect the effect of even the smallest bite of food, alignment of posture, or negative thought with an awareness much greater than usual. This morning I was able to do seated meditation after days of not being able to sit upright due to fatigue. How profoundly healing Zazen is. Perhaps the best medicine we have available to us!
With this increased awareness of what is truly healthy for this body-heart-mind-world, and the renewed rememberance that I could die at any moment, sickness puts me in touch with my deepest vows. How do I want to embody this moment of life? And this one? And this one? Fresh, Alive, Kind, Present, Satisfied, Appreciative, without a sense of expectation or lack, with deep curiosity and full engagement.
May we all Awaken to the Light of our own Being, releasing all attachments, and manifesting inherent kindness and freedom to help others!✨
From Soten:
Sometimes the future is absolutely appalling. Thank God we’ll never actually have to deal with it. I could die right here on this bed and everything would be absolutely alright.
We have to touch the depth of our own insignificance. This is not the inner critic. The inner critic has no weight unless we think we’re special in some way, or at least are somehow supposed to be. Rather, that who we become or don’t become, inspire or don’t inspire, accomplish or don’t are all irrelevant. We are the only person that will ever experience our own self-view.
Our living is raw. Sometimes it is beautiful. Sometimes it is exquisite. Sometimes it is painful. Sometimes it is agonizing. The teachings say that there is a peace below all of this. If we have some faith that that might be true, it’s worth committing to being open to whatever comes our way, that we may glimpse this deeper peace below.
This most recent sickness was too hard to handle. Enduring aversion. I have no interest in walking tomorrow, the thought is appalling. Yet tonight we’ll pack. The flow of life could care less if we’re on board.
None of this negates gratitude for being. The opportunity to experience at all is unfathomable. But sometimes we have to shed some sticky skin in order to leave our bad ideas behind. The process sucks. But it is also beautiful, awesome, deeply worth it, and maybe most honestly - simply a matter of time.
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Let’s have a baby
yandere!EraserMicx PREGNANT!Reader
A terrible mix up leading to an accidental pregnancy? Or something more intentional? Either way now you were pregnant with (none other than the beloved power couple heroes) Eraserhead and Present Mic’s child. Time to discuss how co parenting is going to work.
TW: pregnancy, artificial insemination, yandere elements, mentions of stalking, alludes to potential custody battle
You had been avoiding the two men for the past week, which was challenging seeing as they managed to find your phone number, address, and place of work. Any time you blocked their calls they got a new number. Two Pro Heroes versus a twenty something civilian, it was only a matter of time until you were cornered.
Now the couple stood between you and your apartment. You had a long shift at your job as a pet groomer and just wanted to get some rest.
Present Mic was the first to speak. "Hey lil momma, we heard you had work today so we brought you some dinner. We thought we could talk over a nice meal."
You had no response. You were tired, both physically and emotionally. You had been put through the ringer ever since meeting them at your doctors office. It was a total Jane the Virgin situation. You went in for an assessment about some supposed ovarian cysts and unknowing left artificially inseminated. There was a supposed mix up, a digital glitch that somehow merged your chart with the surrogates - apparently your names were super similar. Two weeks later you were called back into the doctor's office and informed of what took place. And now you were in this living nightmare.
And the two heroes had nothing to do with the error. There was totally a surrogate. They hadn't paid off your provider. And why would they? You had never met them - although given their patrols they may have seen you once or twice...
They were tearful when they were informed of the mix up, they had been waiting patiently through the whole process and now everything was thrown in chaos. They offered to compensate you for your service which sent you into a blind rage. They just assumed you would carry a child, a child with half of your DNA, and then give YOUR baby away. Rationally you understood that they had planned to be be the only parents to the child, but that was with a professional surrogate who understood the process, who didn't want the child in their life, just happy to help out a loving couple. But that wasn't you, you grew up wanting to be a mom, and now they would take that from you.
What if they tried to legally take sole custody of the baby? Surely they had some pull in the judicial system. Besides, they were a solid couple with money, while you were alone with no family and working two jobs. The thought made you sick to your stomach.
You were shaking as you tried to push past them. Maybe they would just disappear if you ignored them, a girl could dream. But instead they tagged along inside. Albeit you weren’t fighting them on it, you knew this had to happen eventually.
Aizawa easily found the cluttered dining table in your small apartment. You flinched when the loud one tried to help you shrug off your backpack. Taking a seat on the couch you waited for them to start berating you.
"Come sit at the table, dinner is getting cold," Eraser spoke for the first time.
"I'll eat later, I'm not hungry."
"You may not be, but the baby needs to eat."
You glared, how dare they insinuate you didn't know what your child needed. If your body was hungry, you ate. If you were full the baby was full too.
But, you complied, not wanting to argue, "Fine, but I ate a snack not too long ago."
As you ate, Mic kept you company, picking at some left overs, they clearly ate before their visit. Aizawa was rummaging through your place but you managed to hold your tongue until he began throwing things out of your fridge.
"What are you doing?" You hissed, getting up out of your seat.
"Mic and I will bring you groceries tomorrow. The food you have is barely safe for an adult, let alone a fetus."
"Are you kidding me? It's not like I'm chugging alcohol and living off Twinkies. Hey! I just bought those turkey slices. How is turkey bad?" You whined.
To make sure you wouldn't dig the food out trash he dumped it out of his container.
"Zashi, don't let me forget to empty the trash on our way out. Do you know how much salt is in deli meat? And there's no way you can drink any of this while you're pregnant." He gestures to the cans of soda.
As the frustration built you had to fight back tears. They couldn't come in to your home and start throwing out your things.
"Some of us don't make ridiculous money, I'm buying what I can afford and the doctor never had any problem with my health." You hissed.
Hizashi felt the tension thickening, "Hey hey hey, it's okay. Sho and I will go get you some good stuff. We just gotta watch out for you and baby."
And that was the end of your resolve, you stomped past the Hero and locked yourself in your bedroom. Finally tears began to drip down your cheeks.
Back in your kitchen Mic was chiding his boyfriend for being so tough on you.
"So I should just back down while she stuffs herself with junk food?"
Mic gave him a shrug, showing him a bottle on your counter, "At lest she's taking her prenatal vitamins?"
Grabbing the keys to your apartment Aizawa instructed Mic to wait with you while he got you better groceries. He would make copies of your keys on his was back.
You prayed they would leave soon. You were laying in your bed having cried yourself out. Barely into your second month of pregnancy. You still had to endure this for at least seven more months, but most likely much longer.
Next thing you knew you were opening your eyes and the clock read seven AM. By now your uninvited guests must be gone. Nervously you sat up, praying that you'd skip the morning sickness just once this week. You had always had a weak stomach and even the doctor was surprised you were already experiencing the symptom. Unfortunately the minute your feet touched the floor you knew what was coming. You sprinted to the restroom, not even checking to see if the duo had left.
God this was terrible, you didn't just hate throwing up, you were terrified of it. What if you started and never stopped? But it did come to an end. You wiped the water from your eyes and took a moment before standing from the floor. You screamed when a hand slid under your arm, helping you up. Another set of feet rushed to the bathroom.
" What's wrong?" Hizashi huffed as he skid to a stop.
You pulled arm free from Aizawa's grasp. "What are you two still doing here?"
You turned in the faucet to rinse your mouth. Trying to calm your stress, the nausea was trying to return.
Undeterred the scruff pulled your hair into a bun before rubbing your back. You debated returning to bed but that wouldn't get them out of your apartment. You told them you need to sit down, both of them nodding, still wearing their concerned expressions. They got you a glass of water before joining you on the couch. Stubborn men, you sat at the end of the couch so they couldn't both sit, but Mic decided to perch himself on the armrest.
He started petting your hair, "You feelin better little listener?" You nodded in response.
"I got you more food, let us know if your hungry."
You sighed in defeat, "I'm barely two months pregnant, I can fend for myself. What did you all want to talk about?"
You anxiously placed a hand on your stomach. Both men felt their hearts flutter recognizing your maternal instincts kicking in.
Aizawa let Mic begin, he was the more gentle of the two.
"Well, we figured we got off to a rough start. You got put in a tough situation. We shouldn't have assumed you didn't want a child so we're not mad at how you stormed out. But either way we expect to be in our baby's life. The two of us talked it over and we don't want to fight you if you want to be in their life too. So if you wanna be the mommy we're cool with it."
You could blame your reaction on your hormones for your response but you didn't, "Geez thank you so much for allowing me to be in MY child's life."
Aizawa placed a hand on the back of your neck, giving you a gentle massage. "Okay then, the three of us are gonna have a baby. That means you have to stop ignoring us. We can raise the baby together, without involving anyone else. But if we have to, we can always go the legal route for the baby's best interest."
He knew it was a low blow, but the couple needed you to stop fighting them. Your eyes snapped to his and you shook your head in protest.
"Okay then we're all the same page," Aizawa reassured you.
Mic cheered, "Now we can focus on the fun stuff."
"Hun," Eraserhead caught his attention. "There's still a few more important things to figure out. We don't want you going back to that doctor. They're incompetent. We scheduled you an appointment with another's clinic for next week. Okay?"
You couldn't find your voice after how easily he threatened to take your baby. So you just nodded. Half listening.
"Good. We also went ahead and programmed our numbers into your phone. We need to be able to check in with you."
"Okay, but I can't use my phone at one of my jobs."
"About that lil momma," Mic started. "You work a lot, which is totally bad ass, but we don't think you leave enough time to rest and take care of yourself."
You tried to protest but Aizawa cut you off, "You also shouldn't be working around so many animals. Even though we love animals, they can be unpredictable and one dog can trigger all the rest into a frenzy."
You were dumbfounded, "I've never heard of anything like that happening. One of my coworkers was pregnant last year, she worked until her maternity leave. Plus I need to be able to pay my bills. And don't offer to compensate me again."
"Why do you have to view it as compensation? We just want to take care of the mother of our child. Just think about it. Mic and I have to go take care of some business but we'll be back later this week."
---
Back at their home Hizashi was dramatically splayed on their bed.
"Babe why are you pouting?" Aizawa asked.
"Why can't we just bring her home already?"
Aizawa sympathized with his better half, but they needed to be methodical. He reminded Hizashi that they didn't need to cause her even more stress, especially so early into the pregnancy. If they played their cards right they would have their happy little family soon enough.
If they could ease you in to the relationship everything would be easier in the long run. They had been managing just fine until now, they could wait a few more months.
He joined Hizashi on the couch. Mic was comforting himself the way he usually did when he felt like this. He was scrolling through the countless photos they had collected since their chance encounter with you over a year ago.
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Can I request i male reader who treats all of the lords and mother mranda like his own kids cause of his animal instincts? 🙍♂️🐾
(You can choose the sifter)
Broken (Chuckles): Hello, @imanewboi99 - back again to spoil me with delicious scenarios, are you? (Reads ask) A Shifter that treats The Lords & Mother Miranda like his children? Hm...I can imagine the Lords but the Lords see Mother Miranda as their mother...I'll make him Miranda's Lover - Hopefully that is good for you, my friend. As for Shifter Form... I'll make him a Caracal Cat; I like their ears and they have stubby little tails, plus cats are one of the animals I think will take in another animal's infant as their own. Now, let the words weave together!
Note: The Reader will be known as [Father].
🦇 [Alcina Dimitrescu] 🦇
When Alcina met [Father] during the Lord Meeting, she didn't like him for the simple fact he was a man but she was curious of the large feline ears he had in replacement for his human ears & they weren't just for show - he made that clear when Karl called Alcina 'Lady Super-Sized Bitch' during a Lord Meeting, causing the tall buff man to walk over to the 4th Lord and glare down at him.
His Response: "You will not refer to another Lord, your sister, and my daughter as a 'bitch' in my presence or the presence of your mother and siblings again, Karl Heisenberg or I show you the power I hold in a way you will not be fond of. Now, apologize to Alcina this minute."
When Karl didn't move fast enough, [Father] grabbed the German by his trench coat and held him high (Keep in mind that [Father] is around the same height as Alcina) with a glare on his face and snarl in his voice, "I SAID 'APOLOGIZE', YOU UNGRATEFUL BOY!'; Karl wheezed out an apology before the man placed in back on the pew, "And never...disrespect anyone of my children again, I wouldn't let any of them do it to you, Son." then he went to sit.
As time went on, [Father] would come to Castle Dimitrescu and repair any kind of structural damaging or ask Alcina if she needed anything to be delivered to the castle.
Alcina would say, "Father, you don't need to worry yourself with these petty issues."
But he would say, "As your father, I don't want my eldest daughter and granddaughters to be without. Please, let me be a good father and grandfather to you and my granddaughters, Alcina."
Alcina was touched and handed him a list of things she needed to be taken care of that no one else would do or couldn't do. Everything was done within a few hours.
When it comes to the daughters, [Father] loves them as a man would love his biological grandchildren.
He would come to the castle with gifts: A new book collection for Bela, Gadgets of Torment for Cassandra, or a new weapon for Daniela.
If the daughters were bored and had nothing to do, [Father] would turn into his Feline Form and let the daughters hunt him, but he was rather fast & which made the daughters have fun with the chase.
[Father] has a manor that is around the same size as Heisenberg's Factory and the daughters love to visit because the large man spoils them too much.
They would go every single weekend but one day, Alcina told them that they didn't need to go everything single weekend and to give [Father] some space. The daughters didn't like that and called their grandfather to complain and waited around the corner when Alcina received a call from [Father].
"Father, all I said was they don't need to be over there all of the time," Alcina explained.
"Alcina, don't say anything to me; you are lucky that I am 5 whiskey glasses in, otherwise I would come to get them myself. Call the carriage and bring me my granddaughters." He hung up after that.
Not wanting to disappoint her Father Figure, she called the carriage and delivered the daughters and she was given a case of fine wines to relax with while they were with him.
She may hate men - but [Father] was the only man-thing she would admit to caring about. Mother Miranda picked well.
🎎 [Donna Beneviento + Angie] 🎎
[Father] knew that Donna was timid & Angie was her way of communication - he didn't want to frighten her thus began their relationship with phone calls.
For the most time, he spoke to Angie and each conversation would with [Father] asking if Donna or Angie needed anything; yes, he considered Angie another person and not just a doll.
On the occasion that they did need something, he would go purchase what they needed and let it on the porch of Beneviento Manor, knocked on the door, and stepped away; he knew that Donna was scared of his height.
One day, he was delivering some Doll Parts Donna asked for, he did his normal routine and was about to leave when Angie called out and asked if he wanted to come in for tea. He accepted.
He shrunk himself to be a more acceptable height for Donna and the three of them had tea and conversation.
Donna became more adjusted to his presence and would call him herself - without Angie - and ask if they would have tea, make dolls together, or work in the garden together.
One day, he came with an eyepatch with the Crest of House Beneviento stitched into it as a way to cover the scar but not her whole face.
At the next meeting, she wore it.
Salvatore complimented her on it and she said 'Father made it for me.'
He smiled.
🐟 [Salvatore Moreau] 🐟
Salvatore was curious about [Father] but was too nervous to talk to him - thinking he was going to be mean or make fun of him his appearance. Imagine his surprise when [Father] wanted up to him and smiled before saying, 'Hello, Salvatore. It's nice to meet you, son.".
Salvatore looked at him with wide eyes - he thought of Salvatore as a son? He didn't make fun of him?
Salvatore and [Father] would talk whenever they saw each other at the Lord Meetings but one day, [Father] asked to spend a day with his son because he never got to learn about him.
Salvatore was nervous but agreed.
When [Father] arrived at Salvatore's Territory, he was displeased that his son was living in such poor conditions and he vowed to do something about it and his son's vomiting.
The two of them spent hours watching movies together and eating cheese & fish while Salvatore told [Father] everything about him.
One day, Salvatore was surprised to see his father building a new house on steady ground and told Salvatore that it was his new home because he was not gonna let his Lord and Son live in poor conditions like that. Salvatore was also informed that there was a new collection of movies for the two of them to enjoy.
They have movie nights every Wednesday and Sunday.
As for Salvatore's vomiting, [Father] was able to make an elixir that prevents vomiting but Sal has to drink it every month. It's bitter but he will do it regardless.
🛠 [Karl Heisenberg] 🛠
[Father] knew that Karl was still cross with him for embarrassing him before Mother Miranda and the Other Lords & no real father would want his son to be angry with him at every family get-together.
[Father] went to Karl's Factory with an apology but when he went inside, he saw his son running from a strange contraption with a large drill arm.
His Paternal Instincts kicked in and he charged at the creature, crushing its head in his hand before turning to his son to make sure he was alright.
Karl was angry to see him at first but he did thank him for saving his life before that thing turned him into a pin-cushion. He then asked [Father] what he was doing in his factory and the taller man said he didn't want any bad blood between the two of them and offered his services to his son.
Karl wasn't interested and first but he then realized that he could use [Father] to get inside information on Miranda so he agreed.
The two of them worked on projects, blueprints, or repairs for hours, enjoying each other conversation and presence.
[Father] asked the 4th Lord to be kinder to the other lords - he hated seeing his family argue and be bitter with each other.
Karl - while he never saw the others as his family - agreed to this for the sake of the only one he really respected and cared for.
Karl was still planning on making Miranda suffer for what she had done to him and the others...but...Did [Father] really deserve it?
This man - he had a heart of gold - but it was clear he suffered as well and this 'family' was the only thing that kept him together, kept him happy - Karl didn't want him to be unhappy.
What would destroying Miranda and this 'family' do to [Father]? Karl wondered but at the same time, he didn't want to know. This man was a father to him...what was he supposed to do?
🧪 [Mother Miranda + The Lords As A Whole] 🧪
Miranda would wake up to the smell of [Father]'s cooking and coffee every morning - he refused to let her start the daily research without a good meal and coffee, and she didn't object to this - the man made some delicious food.
One day - Miranda went to the meeting grounds and found the man cleaning, fixing pillars, and making individual thrones for the Lords, Mother Miranda, and himself. Reason: "My wife and children are not sitting on old ass furniture and possibly getting sick."
The Lords love their thrones - he even made one for Angie.
When an argument - mostly between Alcina and Karl - broke out, [Father] would roar for them to shut up and respect the Mother of All and each other.
"You are my children - not savages - and you will act like it or I shall show you how savages were treated where I came from!"
It would take Miranda's gentle hand to calm him when the children acted out of line.
When it came to the Cadou Experiments - [Father] would aid Miranda or his children without a second thought. Whatever they needed, he would get for them.
[Father] would try to have a family dinner with everyone at his manor once a week, just so the family could all be together.
As much as Miranda didn't want to admit it - she loved the dinners; it really felt as if she had a real family.
Maybe...when Eva was returned to her...they could be a family.
[End]
#Mother Miranda x Male Reader#Alcina Dimitrescu#Donna Beneviento#Salvatore Moreau#Karl Heisenberg#Resident Evil 8#headcanon
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Hey Steph, hope you’re well!
I was wondering if you knew of any specifically Christmas Tree decorating/decorating for the holidays Johnlock fics. Maybe even where they decorate a side of the tree each and John’s side is perfectly places and neat and Sherlock’s side has mini skeletons or bones or petri dishes or something so specifically Sherlock. They maybe have a little spat on what to put on the top of the tree (only to end up with a deerstalker on there). Or they have little domestics over whether the theme should be traditional green and red or winter wonderland or something?
If not, I may have to write one (or a few) of these as one shots. I may just do that anyway.
Sorry for rambling! Hope you have a wonderful day. Stay safe <3
Hey Nonny!
OOOOOF ahhhhh god my memory is so shoddy... I'll direct you to my Christmas lists, but I will pull out the ones I remember or THINK had Christmas Tree Decorating in them... As for your specific request, OOF don't think I know of any... if anyone has one or wants to write it, PLEASE DO!! <3
CHRISTMAS TREES / DECORATING
See also:
Christmas Fics (Dec. 2017)
Christmas: Oblivious That One or The Other is In a Relationship
Christmas 2019 Part 1 (All Bookmarks XMas and New Years)
Christmas 2019 Part 2 (Marked for Later)
G / T / K+ Rated Christmas Fics (Dec. 2018) (Updated Dec 2021)
Community Recs: Christmas 2020
New Year’s Fics (Jan 2018)
Entanglement by orphan_account (G, 3,218 w., 1 Ch. || Confessions, Physics, Metaphors, Texting, Pining, Christmas, Mind Palace, Sick Fic, Fluff, Humour, Praise Kink) - On Christmas Eve, snow covers London, John visits Harry, and Sherlock and Mrs. Hudson untangle some knots.
Last Christmas by Mazarin221b (T, 3,911 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss) – That Earth-shaking revelation, then, leads to a problem, and one that Sherlock realizes should be solved quickly, before John’s dates turn into girlfriends or boyfriends, because sometimes girlfriends or boyfriends can turn into wives or husbands while your back is turned. Every time John hums happily at the mirror as he shaves, splashes on a little gift cologne Mrs. Hudson bought him for Christmas, Sherlock is drawn back to that night by the fire, and the way John’s touch had made the world stand still.
Tree Topper by May_Shepard (E, 4,017 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Tree, Christmas Fluff, Drunken Shenanigans, Smut, First Time, Friends to Lovers) – Sherlock and John are celebrating Christmas the best way they know how--alone together, with booze. They've almost finished decorating their tree, but John is determined to find the best way to top it.
Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Missing Christmas Spirit by SilentAuror (M, 15,002 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Domesticity, Post S3, Happy Ending) – John hates Christmas. So does Sherlock, but he suggests that they do Christmas "properly" this year to see if they can't track down its elusive magic and discover for themselves what Christmas is supposed to be about.
Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all.
a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (E, 32,731 w., 26 Ch. || Christmas, Frottage, Comfort, Est. Rel., Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Frottage, Nightmares, Sleepy Sherlock, Marriage Proposal, Humour, Fluff, Dancing, Cooking, Happy Ending) – For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves. Part 2 of things fairy tales are made of
Goodness Gives Extras by mydwynter (E, 39,629 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff & Angst, Case Fic, Oral / Anal, Humour, First Time, Miscommunication, Snark, Christmas) – Christmas time. 'Tis the season to settle down with a drink, some food and a present or two, and to enjoy the quiet relaxation of the holiday. Instead, there's a case that drags them all over, missing presents, disappointed kids, angry parents, and a freak snowfall. On top of that John has to deal with Sherlock, who is being even more of a prat than usual. He really shouldn't have expected anything different.
The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w., 23 Ch. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse
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Tianshan dating headcannons because i also love these two dumbasses too
Also dedicated to @el-mundo-real who requested tianshan headcannons 🖤
. . .
- Literally no one knows whether they’re dating or not. Not even themselves because they don’t talk about it
- Jian yi thinks they’re dating already and Zhengxi says they’re still getting there (somehow they’re both right) and they make a bet
- He tian likes staying over at Mo’s and he’s gotten pretty close to mama Mo
- Mama Mo teaches him how to knit !! He tried to knit a scarf for Mo but it came out a little messy and tangled. Mo still wears it anyway saying it’s a waste of yarn if not used (He’s actually really touched)
- He eats dinner there about 5 times a week and sleeps over thrice a week. He’s a permanent fixture in the house now, he has his own plate and mug, utensils, toothbrush, a spare key, and more than half of his closet migrated to Mo’s closet
- Sometimes Mo “accidentally” wears He tian’s sweaters and He tian dies a little bit every time
- Sometimes He tian deliberately wears Mo’s clothes and it’s always tighter and a bit shorter on his body so when he moves his arms the shirt rides up. Mo guanshan shouts at him to change and to stop contaminating his clothes but his ears are red anyway
- They bicker A LOT. Over the smallest things because He tian loves riling him up and Mo gets riled up too easily
He tian, for the 7th time in 5 minutes: “What does this thing do?”
Mo guanshan, losing his mind: “THAT’S A FUCKING MICROWAVE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT DO?!”
- There are times when homicide is the best option
Mo Guanshan: “I acknowledge that I can be mean sometimes-”
He tian, in the bathtub: “Sometimes?”
Mo Guanshan: “Shut the fuck up. So I brought you a bath bomb as a peace offering.”
He tian: “That’s a fucking toaster.”
Mo guanshan: “Exactly. A bath bomb.”
- Contrary to what his actions say, Mo guanshan is actually relieved that He tian spends most of his time in their apartment. He tian never told him but he can see how lonely the other teenager is
- Mo guanshan tries to teach He tian chores because He tian knows nothing about cleaning or doing everyday things
Mo guanshan: “How the fuck do you not know how to wash dishes where the hell do you eat?!”
He tian, drinking milk straight out the carton: “Obviously on plates, Momo. I just throw them away after.”
Mo guanshan, sputtering: “WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THROW OUT PLATES?!”
- The first and only recipe that He tian managed to cook successfully is instant noodles with boiled egg that’s not quite cooked enough. Sometimes he brings Mo noodles as breakfast in bed and he looks so proud of it Mo has a hard time saying that the noodles are overcooked and that noodles aren’t exactly breakfast food (he eats it anyway)
- Mo sometimes, only sometimes, brings He tian grocery shopping because he needs to learn how to buy food for himself. Somehow He tian always ends up in the miscellaneous section where he has a pack of ballpens he’ll never use, 2 journals he’ll also never use, a couple of scented candles, various dog clothes and leashes for the dog he doesn’t have, a couple’s mug, and a vase in his cart
- He tian stopped trying to barge into Mo guanshan’s bed and sleeps on the futon on the floor beside it. It’s not the most comfortable and he had a hard time sleeping on it at first but he likes being in Mo’s company even while sleeping
- Sometimes Mo would move in his sleep and leave his arm dangling on the side of the bed, He tian grabs it of course and Mo wakes up to sweaty palms. He still leaves it for a few moments before harshly slapping away He tian’s hand
- Mo’s hands aren’t smooth at all because of working all the time and practicing the guitar but He tian loves them all the same. He likes to feel the contrast in textures with his slightly smoother hands
- He tian has a thousand pictures of Mo guanshan sleeping in various angles and poses. He has his favorites framed and keeps it on his bedside table in his apartment so when he’s sleeping there he still feels like they’re sleeping together
- Mo guanshan has a few of He tian sleeping but he swears up and down that he'll never do anything as disgusting as that. He makes one of them his wallpaper.
- Sometimes when they don’t feel like sleeping yet they stay up talking and arguing about random things
Mo guanshan: “Why would aliens be in space? The ocean is definitely the way to go.”
He tian: “But why would they be in the ocean? They’ll drown.”
Mo guanshan: “They’re aliens maybe they have gills or some shit.”
He tian: “I’m telling you they’re not in the ocean, Mo.”
Mo guanshan: “And I’m telling you you’re wrong, bastard.”
- On rare days they would stay up talking about their pasts and about life in general, with the lights closed and the only source of light is the moonlights from the window
- One of these nights, Mo told He tian about what happened to his dad and their restaurant, why they’re in so much debt over it and He tian holds Mo’s hand tightly throughout
- He knew better than to say that he could pay for that debt so Mo doesn’t need to worry anymore (He still says it anyway and Mo blew a fuse) but he swore to help Mo through other means
- The next day he orders a whole carton of mangoes, apples and peaches in his apartment and learns how to peel properly through youtube and Zhengxi
- He goes to Mo’s part time job in the grocery and helps him peel fruits, Mo guanshan doesn’t mention anything when he notices the bandaids on the other’s hands but he does cook him beef stew for dinner
- As expected He tian’s presence brings more customers and the manager asks if he wants to work there permanently but he said he’s only working for Mo so the manager can give Mo a raise instead
- Once, Mo got sick so he missed his part time job for the day (He was supposed to give away flyers on the streets) and got extra pissy because He tian didn’t visit him and wouldn’t answer his phone
- Apparently He tian took over his job for the day and he only finds out when he goes to the manager and the manager asks when his ‘boyfriend’ can come back to work again because the customers love him
- He tian almost never talks about himself but once he talked about the puppy who disappeared after he saves it and then found out that it’s still alive after all these years
- Mo keeps quiet about it the whole time he was talking and the next few days he takes time to knit a small dog plushie and leaves it on He tian’s futon
- He tian didn’t cry, he didn’t (he did), but he hugged Mo and whispered a sincere thank you. For once, Mo lets it happen
- Mo quickly regrets his decision when He tian names the plushie “Chicken sandwich”
- He tian brings Mo in a lot of not-dates (according to Mo) like arcades, ocean parks, festivals, and fairs because he didn’t get to go as a kid and he wants to experience it for the first time with Mo
- They get crazy competitive in every game. Every. Single. One. If it’s a co-op shooting game they would compete on who kills the most enemies, if it’s a harmless crane game it becomes a competition of who can get the most plushies
- They both each have a photobooth strip. Mo keeps his as a bookmarker in a journal, and He tian has his in the back of his phone.
- They go on a double not-date with Jian yi and Zhengxi and it ends up in almost getting chased by a police car at 2 am in pokemon onesies and holding a bag of chips
- Sometimes Mo would visit his dad in prison and just rant to him about He tian
Mo guanshan: “The nerve of that guy to do something like that in front of a teacher urgh.”
Papa Mo: “Your boyfriend sounds like a fun guy, son. I want to meet him soon.”
Mo guanshan: “BO-BOYFRIEND?!”
Papa Mo: “Yes???”
Mo guanshan: “No??? That bastard isn’t my boyfriend??”
Papa Mo: “Are you sure about that?”
Mo guanshan: “...Yes?”
- Enter gay panique because he doesn’t actually know whether He tian is his boyfriend or not
- They don’t call each other boyfriends and they never talked about it so no??? But they’re also not just friends so maybe??? Do they go on dates?? Can grocery trips be considered dates??
- He rings up Jian yi and the blonde just laughed for 5 minutes straight without stopping and he wonders how he’s still breathing
Mo Guanshan, after hearing Jian yi laughing for 5 minutes: “Are you fucking done?”
Jian yi, trying to catch his breath: “Man this is some top-tier entertainment.”
Mo guanshan: “WELL?!”
Jian yi: “Look bro literally no one knows whether you’re dating, fucking, planning each other’s murder OR planning a murder together.”
Mo guanshan: “What if it’s all of the above?”
Jian yi: “Then congratulations…? Please don’t murder me?”
Mo guanshan: “Urgh you’re fucking useless I should have called Zhengxi.”
Jian yi: “Wait don’t, I don’t wanna lose the bet. How about this, there’s a festival upcoming for couples and families, if He tian asks you then you’re probably, maybe, dating?”
Mo guanshan: “That’s stupid. AND WHAT BET?!”
Jian yi: “Ah woops gotta water my dog.”
- Mo tells himself that it’s stupid and there’s no way he’s falling for that...but he feels disappointed anyway when He tian doesn’t ask him the following days
- He tian asks on the last day before the festival, but he asks mama Mo first and Mo guanshan second cuz he wants to celebrate with both of them. He confessed that he’s never actually went to a festival with a family before so he was trying to build up courage to ask
- Mo guanshan is an absolute goner after that
- On the day of the festival, they find Zhanyi there on a date but decide to leave them alone. While they were leaving Jian yi kept throwing Mo guanshan so much winks that Zhengxi thought he got something in his eye
- The festival was fun but Mo couldn’t take his eyes off how happy and content He tian looks
- Queue cliche fireworks scene but it’s He tian being amazed by the fireworks and Mo looking mesmerized at him thinking, “Ah, I want him to look at me like that.”
- The next day, he drags He tian to visit his dad in jail
Papa mo: “Oh this is a surprise, you’ve never brought someone before?”
He tian, trying to introduce himself: “Hello, sir. I’m He tian, Mo guanshan’s fri-”
Mo guanshan, cuts him off: “Boyfriend. He’s my boyfriend, dad.”
He tian:
#19 days#19 days headcannons#19 days hc#tianshan#mo guan shan#he tian#zhanyi#jian yi#zhan zheng xi#am i procrastinating updating my fics and 19 days socmed au by posting random 19 days stuff?#yes yes i am#old xian
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late night calls
Summary: It all started with a phone call to the DEA office to tell Javier about the surgery of his father. You had insisted to take care of him after Chucho told you about the surgery. That you would fall in love with his son you had never met before? Just as surprising to you as it was to Javier.
Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Plus size reader
Wordcount: 4.1k+
Warnings: fluff, phone sex, mentions of bomb attacks, sexism, self doubt, yearning?
A/N: I know that probably more time passed between the bombing and Javier being send back to the states but I chose to ignore it. For the plot. Hope you enjoy it :)
Masterlist
*taglist in reblog
You still weren’t used to the heat. Yes, you did move to Texas because you wanted a fresh start. But the fucking heat would take some time to get used to. Nothing was holding you back in Maine. You had spent the last years taking care of your sick mother. She had died just before Christmas and with her all the family you had left.
So coming with the new year you took a leap of faith, packed your things, and moved to a little town close to the Mexican border. You got a job at the local police station as a secretary that made a decent sum of money each month. Life was good. At least you told yourself so.
You had made a couple of friends. Mostly the older generation of the town. You weren’t big on going out, nor had the town a big nightlife in the first place. That’s why you insisted on taking care of Chucho after he told you one day at the diner that he had to get a hip replacement. His wife had died a long time ago and his son wasn’t able to leave work.
“Don’t you have some better stuff to do cariño?” He had asked.
“What better way to start your day than on your Farm, Senior Peña.” You had winked at him.
Chucho might have been a stubborn old man, but once he got out of surgery and was in pain he was thankful that he accepted your help. That was also the first time you heard him talk about his son. Javier.
“Be a dear and call him to tell him I’m okay?” He had mumbled before he dozed off again. You had chuckled, kissed his cheek before you left him for the day to went over to his farm. Once you had taken care of everything for the day you sat down on his kitchen island and grabbed the phone, dialing the first number he had written down.
You had suggested moving into his place in his recovery time. It was a beautiful place. Mexico was just on the other side of the river down the property. But the best part about this place was the air conditioning. Okay… You really loved this place and it definitely was an upgrade to the small apartment you were renting in the city.
Waiting for his son to pick up the phone you wondered what kind of job he would have that he wasn’t able to take care of his father. You didn’t judge him, okay maybe a little, you were more curious. You had seen some pictures of him spread through the house. But you had never asked about him.
“DEA Office, how may I help you?” A woman answered your call.
“Uhm… Is Javier Peña available? It’s about his father,” you tried.
“Oh of course. Agent Peña just got in. Please hold.”
Agent Peña? DEA? You had so many questions but they died on your tongue when the call connected again.
“This is Peña.” A deep voice said. He reminded you of his father.
“Hello Mr. Peña. I’m only calling to let you know that your father’s surgery went fine. He wanted me to forward this to you.”
“Javier, please. Not even my father likes to be called Mr. Peña.”
“Oh I noticed that,” you chuckled.
“He’s fine yeah?” You heard something shuffle on the other end of the line.
“Yeah. Already made some jokes and told me to make sure I feed the horses in the right order.”
“You’re taking care of the horses?”
“Yeah. I’m temporarily moving in to help your father.”
“That’s very nice of you. He never told me about you.”
“There’s not much to tell.” You got up and took out a bottle of water from the fridge. “I’m only here for the air conditioning.” You joked. He laughed.
“Fuck I miss air conditioning. Hold on.” You sat down again, hearing only damp voices.
“Fuck. I need to go. Please call me if something comes up. Dad has my home number too, right?” He was speaking quickly and you wondered what was happening.
“Yes, he wrote it down for me. Everything okay?”
“Yeah hopefully. Just some work stuff. Keep in touch, yeah?”
“Will do Javier.”
Chucho got home a week later and he was the worst at listening to doctors’ orders. You still had to go into the station to work, but you spend your whole time worrying about him. It was funny to you how he seemingly had become a father figure to you in less than a couple of weeks.
Of course you found him standing at the kitchen counter when you got to the ranch, the phone tugged between his shoulder and his ear, making himself a sandwich.
“Shouldn’t you be resting?” You asked, crossing your arms in front of your chest.
“I was. Then Javi called and I got hungry.”
“Stubborn old man,” you grumbled and he rolled his eyes.
“Come on, I brought dinner.”
“Fine. Here. Javi wants to say Hello,” he handed you the phone before he slowly trotted towards the couch. Shaking your head you put the phone to your ear.
“You are really strict with him,” Javier said.
“Someone has to. Are all you Peña men this stubborn?”
He chuckled. “You have no idea. How is he doing?”
“Overall good. Not complaining as much as in the beginning but then again I am bribing him with my delicious cooking.”
Javier and you had spoken to each other at least two times per week since the first time you called to tell him about his father’s surgery. You learned that he was a DEA agent on the hunt for Pablo Escobar. You learned that he was feeling guilty about not being there for his father and to take care of the ranch. You learned lots of things about Javier Peña.
“Ah... Delicious cooking. Maybe one day you get to cook for me?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You teased, hearing him take a sip of his drink. Whiskey probably.
“Just that my father is praising your cooking so much I wonder if it really is that good.”
“Oh, it is, Peña.” You found yourself smiling. You heard him sigh.
“Everything’s okay over there?” You asked.
“Yeah,” he said too quickly. Definitely a lie. You nodded.
“You wanna stay on the phone while I prepare dinner?” you asked.
“Yeah,” he whispered.
The better Chucho got, the longer the phone calls between Javier and you seem to get. It was mostly at night after he got home from whatever he had been doing at work that day intending to check in on his father. But after a few sentences, he asked about your day. About how you felt. What your plans for the coming weekend were.
“You sound exhausted Hermosa,” he sighed. It had been a long day at work and all you wanted was to grab a pint of ice cream and drown your sorrows.
“Just the usual sexist bullshit at the PD,” you groaned.
“Want me to kill them?” Javier joked.
“You take care of your nemesis, I take care of mine. But I appreciate the help.” You sat down on your bed, knowing that this was usually the room he occupied when he was here to visit his father.
“Noted. But if it’s any help, I had a shit day too. They seem to get more frequent the longer I stay in this shithole.”
“Maybe you have to focus on the good things of being in this country. There have to be some. The food probably. I always enjoy new food. Maybe go to a museum? I don’t want to intrude but you don’t seem like you do anything besides work and well…”
It was pure accident that you had heard the voice of a woman one night when you had called him for a change. You knew that he looked good, you had seen the pictures, so it shouldn’t be a surprise to you, that he did have a girlfriend. He clarified that he didn’t, that this was just a woman he got intel from. You didn’t ask any more questions, it wasn’t your right. That it hurt to think of him and another woman was something you chose to ignore.
“I never thanked you,” Javier said. You let yourself fall back into bed, staring at the stars outside the window.
“What for?” you asked quietly.
“Thanking care of Dad and the ranch. Listening to my drunken ramblings. You’re a good friend,” he said. You smiled, a warm feeling spreading in your chest.
“You’re a good friend too, Javi.”
Chucho didn’t need anyone to take care of him. Not when he was back to his old health after a couple of months. But he had asked you to move in with him anyway. And you loved to live with the old man. Enjoying not being on your own all the time. And you loved helping him out at the ranch. The PD was still getting on your nerves and you were seriously considering just quitting.
“I hate it. I fucking hate it. I get one dumb line after another, just because I’m a woman. That I helped to get together the evidence to put that fucker away that killed all those women last year is not even of interest. FUCK!” you complained to Chucho. He knew about all of this already. Yet he jumped from his seat when he saw that you did cut yourself while making dinner.
“Careful.” He took your hand in his, leading you over to the sink to look at your wound. It didn’t hurt that much.
“What about if I take care of dinner today, and you go and take a bath? Javier is probably gonna call in a bit…” Chucho winked, putting a bandaid on your finger.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you frowned.
“Just that I see the way you smile every time my son calls.”
“Two whole days off? What are you gonna do with yourself?” You joked. You were laying in the bathtub, the phone in your hand as you talked to Javier.
“Don’t know. I feel like I need a home-cooked meal so I’m gonna nag Connie to cook one.”
You chuckled, crossing your legs.
“Is that water I hear?” he asked and you blushed. Why? You didn’t know. You had undressed numerous times while on the phone with him, but being completely naked and him knowing about it…
“I’m in the bathtub. Chucho’s orders. He’s making dinner before I kill myself doing it.”
You were met with silence.
“You okay, Javi?” You sucked your bottom lip in. “I did only cut my finger,” you joked.
“Just trying to get the picture of you naked in the bathtub out of my head.”
“You don’t even know what I look like.”
“Doesn’t matter. All I need is to hear your voice and I’m hard…”
“Javi…” you whispered, feeling hot all of the sudden.
“Will you tell me?” he asked.
“Tell you what?”
“If you think about me? Because you are on my mind all the time. I keep picturing how you look. If you have long hair or short hair. What color your eyes have. If your smile is only half as beautiful as your laugh. Fuck… I just wanna see you. I wanna feel you. I wanna taste you Hermosa.”
Unintentionally your unoccupied hand had made its way down your body, your breath coming in short pants.
“Keep talking Javier…” you whispered, your hand slipping in between your legs.
“I want to touch you. Fuck I bet your skin is so soft. I’d worship you. I stay up at night wondering if I could fit your boobs in my hands. What sound you would make when I close my mouth around your nipple…”
“Shit Javi…” You moaned.
“I wonder how you taste. Are you wet for me baby?” he asked and you heard a zipper being undone on his end of the line.
“So wet. You always make me wet. I touch myself when we get off the phone, wondering how it would feel to have you here…” you whimpered.
“I would have fucked you on every flat surface in the house if I was there. The thought of you sleeping in my bed is making me lose my mind.”
You circled your clit with your fingers, a low moan coming from your lips.
“I wonder how you feel wrapped around my cock. I wonder how you sound when I make you cum. I want to hear it so badly…” You were sure he was fucking his hand and you whimpered at the thought.
“I wish it was my hand wrapped around your big cock right now. God, I wish it was your hand between my legs and not mine…” You bit your lips, keeping yourself quiet.
“Put two fingers into that cunt and make yourself cum. I wanna hear you…” he groaned on the phone.
“Fuck Javi…” you cried quietly, two fingers inside your cunt. “I wish it was your cock and not my fingers.”
“Me too… Me too babe.” he moaned. “Circle that clit for me. Cum for me.”
Circling your clit you almost let the phone fall into the tub when you came with a low moan. You heard him cry out your name on the other end of the line before all that was heard was both of your heavy breathing.
“Javi…?” you asked after a while, still high from one of the best orgasms you ever had. You heard the familiar sound of him lighting a cigarette.
“I meant every single word Hermosa. I want you.” You never thought you would hear these words from him or any man for that matter. You weren’t a typical beauty. You weren’t skinny, you loved food and your curves showed it. On most days you were happy with the way you looked. But you also knew how Javier looked. He was an attractive man and you knew he did indeed have a new woman every other night if he felt like it. He might be interested now, but once he would meet you, there was no way he would make true to all the things he said.
“You’re quiet.” he noticed.
“Yeah. Just coming down from the best orgasm I’ve had in a while,” you joked and he sighed.
“I might not see you, but I know that you’re lying.”
“Okay, it was the best orgasm I ever had.”
“Hermosa…”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Just let me enjoy the illusion of a handsome DEA Agent being interested in little ol’ me.”
“I’ll make sure you believe that it isn’t an illusion until we do see each other.”
Months went by and by now you were pretty sure you were in love with Javier Peña. The phone bill was taking dimensions you were almost guilty about, but Chucho only smiled not taking your money, telling you to make his boy happy. Safe to say he approved.
You had told him about your insecurities and Javier made sure to tell you every time you talked to each other that it didn’t matter how you looked. He told you that you could be green and he’d still go down on you the first time he would meet you.
And you wanted to believe him, you really did. You had told him how you looked after he tried to talk you into sending pictures of yourself “with or without clothes, I don’t care. Though you can guess what I prefer.” he had teased. Javier never made a secret about how much he liked you. Enjoyed talking to you. He told you he had stopped sleeping around for god’s sake.
He was supposed to visit his father in a couple of weeks and the more time passed, the more nervous you became. You didn’t doubt that he meant every single word he said to you. It was years of being on the receiving end of jokes and being the ugly friend that automatically let you feel like you weren’t good enough.
The worst part was that you knew, deep down, that you were beautiful. You loved how you looked. But there still was this voice inside your head, telling you that you would never be good enough for anyone. That there was no way someone would ever fall in love with you.
It was a typical morning at work. You had your coffee and all the files you had to update. Javier had talked to you until you fell asleep, telling you that he felt like he was failing in taking Escobar down. He didn’t tell you much, not wanting you to worry or to risk someone listening, but you could tell that he was exhausted. “I fucked up, Hermosa. I really fucked up and I have no idea how to fix this,” were the words that he had whispered to you in the middle of the night.
You didn’t ask what he meant, just telling him that you’d be there for him, no matter what.
Typing as usual you stopped as the song on the radio was, interrupted by a news report of a bombing in Bogota, Colombia. You knew that there were bombings all the time over there, and Javier always assured you that he was perfectly fine. But with how he was last night, you had a bad feeling.
“Fuck. When are they going to stop that shit over there? If I was there I’d caught Escobar years ago,” one of the officers said. You closed your eyes, breathing in deeply.
“Isn’t Chucho’s son over there pretty face?” The officer stopped in front of your desk and you opened your eyes.
“Yeah he is,” you said.
“Maybe if he would know how to do his job, shit like that wouldn’t go down like that,” he grinned and you wanted to stop, but your hand was faster. Slapping his cheek you got off your seat.
“And maybe if you would know how to use your dick your wife wouldn’t fuck your colleague over there, but you’ll never know, right?” You grinned, picking your purse and walking out.
“I’m taking today off.” You yelled over your shoulder as you walked to your car.
Javier didn’t pick up the phone. Which wasn’t what concerned you on the first day. He would have to deal with the shit that had happened over there. But when three days passed and you could see Chucho getting nervous as well you became restless. The ranch had never been so spotless. The horses had been fed in record time, and you took long rides along the river. If something had happened to him someone would have called, right? You couldn’t even reach his partner Murphy who you had talked to occasionally when Javier wasn’t at his desk.
When a week passed and you hadn’t heard anything you were close to making your way to the airport to just fly down there. What if he died? What if he was gone and you hadn’t told him that you loved him? That you fell in love with a man you had never met before? Getting off the horse you sat down at the tree closest to the river. It was quiet here. This was the outer area of Chucho’s ranch, your favorite spot. You had joked about building a house here once when you were out with the old man and he had agreed that it would be the perfect spot. Sighing you drank from the bottle of water you brought.
Where the fuck are you Javier?
Another week went by without any sign of life from him. You had called the DEA office again but no one seemed to be able to give you an answer. You were growing restless. Working seemed to be the only thing that could get you off the spiraling thoughts of what if? You really had it bad for the man. Shaking your head to yourself you sighed as you parked your car on the usual spot in front of the ranch. Chucho’s truck was gone, he had a doctor's appointment to check on his hip and would meet his lady friend for dinner afterward. You had met her, Estella, once. She was a beautiful woman and Chucho seemed very happy with her. With a sad smile you killed the engine, getting out of the car. On your way to the house you groaned, turning around because you forgot your take out. You weren’t in the mood to cook and the pizza from that place that Javier had told you about was the best you had ever had. While you opened the passenger door of your car you heard the front door of the house open.
Shit. Burglars? You didn’t have anything on you, you could use as a gun. You knew you could probably make it to the horse stable to find something, but not in these fucking heels. Why did you wear these fucking heels? Maybe you could make them choke on the pizza? But then again you were looking forward to eating it.
“Just take what you want, I won’t look.” You called over your shoulder, hoping to just be spared for the day. Closing your eyes you sighed when you were met with no reaction. You heard footsteps on the porch that stopped.
“Look, I’m really not in the mood for this bullshit today. So either take whatever the fuck you want or kill me….” you turned around and all the words died on your lips.
Standing there, leaning against the porch was no other than Javier fucking Peña. Alive. And looking even better than on the various pictures hanging in the house. He was bare feet, wearing tight jeans and a green shirt that was half undone. Opening your mouth to talk, all that came out was a gasp. He looked at you, his eyes mirroring the million emotions inside of you. Looking down at yourself you felt shy all of the sudden. This isn’t how you imagined meeting him for the first time. You wanted to be pretty. To wear some spanx. To have some make-up on. Closing your eyes you breathed in deep. You were happy to see him, you really were. But the ride of emotions you had gone through in the last couple of days took hold of you. Walking quickly towards him, you pushed against his chest, the air leaving his lungs in a puff.
“You fucking idiot. I thought you died.” You pushed him again.
“Do you have any idea how awful I felt since I heard the news of the bombing? You…” You pushed against his chest again, but this time he was faster, grabbing your wrists as he looked down at you. You felt the tears in your eyes as you finally looked up at him. Almost a year of phone calls and now he was standing here in front of you. Alive and warm. And smelling so fucking good.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, holding both of your wrists against his chest as he looked at you.
“I should have called but I told you I fucked up. Badly. And I had to fix it and…” he shook his head. “It doesn’t matter now. I’m here and fuck… you’re even more beautiful than I pictured you,” he smiled a little.
“Flattery will get you nowhere.” You huffed, still annoyed.
“No?” he asked teasingly, smirking at you as he leaned down. You shook your head, biting your lip. God, you wanted to kiss him.
“Can I at least try?” he asked, his lips brushing over your temple. You swallowed, shivering when you felt his cheek against yours. Fuck. Why did he smell so good?
“You may try, but I’m really, really mad at you Javier.”
You closed your eyes when he released your wrists and put one of his hands on your back to push you closer against him. He kissed your cheek before he straightened to his full height and looked down at you, his other hand coming to rest on your cheek.
“You’re really sexy when you’re angry,” he teased before he leaned down to kiss you. You melted against him, your hands running up his chest, holding on to the back of his neck as one hand ran through his hair, to pull him down. Kissing him didn’t come close to anything you could have imagined, his tongue parting your lips and you couldn’t help the moan against his lips.
“Still angry?” he whispered out of breath against your lips.
“Slightly less angry,” you whispered back before you found yourself in his arms as he carried you into the house.
#my writing#Javier Peña#Javier Pena x reader#Javier Pena x you#pedro pascal#javier pena x plus size reader#fanfic#fanfiction
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BTS Reaction | The Boys Have Baby Fever [Request]
A/n: Stopppp because I have major baby fever right now but I’m not ready for kids! I can’t even look after a potted plant or MYSELF how am I meant to look after a mini me….but I keep imagining the tiny little fingers and tiny little toes and I just….Ya’ll need to stop cause I want a baby
[BTS X Fem!Reader]
Seokjin:
"Who's been such a good little girl for Auntie Y/n," You cooed as you carried the small baby girl out from the changing room in her nursery, Jin was sitting on the floor with your nephew while you cradled your three-month-old niece in your arms bouncing her back and forth while you smiled at her.
"Which one? Blue or green?" Jin questioned your nephew holding up two different cars for him to choose from,
"Gween." You smiled watching them interact with one another, Jin had always been great with your nephew ever since your sister-in-law had him a couple of years ago. You regularly babysat for them a lot so they could have date nights and when she asked if you would look after the new-born you jumped at the chance. It would give you some practice for when you had yours and would somehow give you the courage to tell Jin that you were carrying his child.
"Are you going to go for a nap now baby?" You questioned your nephew as you noticed the time, it was for him and his sister to go down to sleep for a while.
"Can Uncle Jin read me to sleep?" You looked at Jin with the same question and he nodded, telling your nephew to go and pick a book while you followed close behind him.
"He loves you," You whispered watching him search through his bookshelf, you bounced your niece who was still staring up at you and Jin,
"Princess and the pea?" You asked as you looked down at the book he was holding out for Jin to take,
"It's my sisters favourite, and auntie Y/n's but I'm not supposed to tell you that." You rolled your eyes, it had been one of your favourites as a child but who didn't love a good Princess book when they were younger.
Jin quietly closed the book before placing it down on the shelf,
"He's out cold." He whispered tucking him into the bed and walking over to you, you were standing over the crip of your niece rocking it back and forth while you watched her sleeping. She looked so peaceful and happy - as happy as you could get as a three-month-old.
"Look how small she is," He cooed stretching out his hand to move the blanket away from her face, she stirred and murmured in her sleep before turning her head.
"They grow up though Jin..." You were trying to warn him about it all, make sure he was serious about this because you knew where this was going. He'd had baby fever for months since your brother told you his wife was pregnant.
"Yeah but they're adorable, and they turn out amazing." You looked at him as he started talking about all the reasons he wanted his own baby. You'd only ever heard him talk about it a few times, mentioning that he just wanted to pass down his name and his talent but the more he talked about it the more you realised how serious he was about having a baby.
"We should make one." He whispered standing behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, burying his face in your neck and smiling as you both watch your niece sleeping, you took in a shaky breath.
"What if you already had one?" Your voice cracked through the sentence since you were nervous about all of this but his hands froze on your waist.
"I think I'd know if I had a son or a daughter out there somewhere." He chuckled thinking you were joking about everything but you smiled,
"What if they weren't out there yet, what if they were right here?" As you whispered you took his hand and placed it onto your stomach and giggling as you waited for him to slowly realise what you meant.
"Oh my god," You giggled walking out of the room and leaving him there to freak out a little bit while you went to make a cup of tea for yourself.
"We need to get ready, start planning. We have to tell the boys!" He was whisper yelling as he walked into the living room with you freaking out over everything he could.
Yoongi:
You'd been sitting in the waiting room of the hospital for hours, you seemed to be the least nervous one there as you clutched onto the small purply bunny you'd brought along with you.
"Guys?" You all looked up to see Namjoon walking out carrying a small bundle of blankets and you smiled knowing it was his son now coming to visit all of his uncles,
"Where are you going?" Yoongi whispered when he saw you going over to the room Namjoon had come out,
"To visit the new mum, stay here." You kissed his cheek gently and walked into the room to see Namjoon's wife, she was drenched in sweat and looked exhausted,
"Hi, mummy." You joked at her and she gasped sitting up in the bed and looking at you as you handed her the small bunny.
"How was it?" You questioned sitting down in the chair next to her bed, she told you all about the labour and how all the pain went away as soon as she saw her son.
"Why the sudden interest?" You smirked at her and bit down on your lip,
"I'm pregnant...But I haven't told Yoongi yet so keep it to yourself." You rushed out when you heard them coming towards the doors, you could hear those boys from miles away. Namjoon walked into the room and walked over to his wife while you stared at Yoongi who was holding the baby, he was bouncing him a little while he stared down at him.
"He's adorable," He mumbled causing the other boys to start laughing,
"Be careful Y/n I think someone is starting to get a little broody." Namjoon chuckled and the others all joined in telling you he hadn't put the boy down or handed him to the others since getting hold of him.
"Do you blame me? Look at his tiny little fingers and his tiny little fit," You'd never seen Yoongi like this with anyone before and it was sending butterflies to your stomach...it could have been the morning sickness but it was lovable to watch him like this.
"He needs to sleep Yoongi," Namjoon mentioned and he sighed taking their son over to him and giving him back to his mother.
"Come on you," You groaned pushing him out of the room, away from the baby to give him a clear head.
"I know you think it's just because we've been around them but I'm serious," You linked hands as you walked around the hospital together, you were on the hunt for a vending machine. Since becoming pregnant you'd gotten a craving for chocolate all of the time,
"Serious?" You questioned looking around for a sign of any food anywhere but you were lost in the maternity ward.
"About having a baby, I want one." You smiled at him as he stood you from walking and held you in place to make you look at him,
"Want me to steal one?" You asked nervously eyes darting around the hallway to avoid his gaze.
"Do you not want to have a baby?" His voice fell flat and he looked sad like someone had just killed a puppy in front of him kind of sad.
"W-What? No, I want one but Yoongi you're just-"
"I'm serious. I want one, I've wanted one for a while." You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded at him, if he was serious about it all then there was no reason for you to hide it anymore.
"Okay well...Consider it done, you have one." He frowned at you not following along with what you were telling him, his brows furrowed together making you giggle.
"I'm already pregnant..." You waited for a couple of seconds while the information registered into his head and as soon as it did he physically jumped into the air, screaming about how happy he was.
"I'm gonna be a father!" He screamed as people walked past you both, staring and glaring as he yelled while standing on a maternity ward.
"Shh Yoongi, we have to keep it a secret." You giggled trying to get him to keep it quiet until you'd had your first or second scan but you knew there was nothing that would stop him from telling all of the boys and as many people as he could.
Hoseok:
It was one of the rare occasions where Hoseok had the same night off as you did so you were spending the time curled up together watching your favourite show. He wasn't that invested in it since it wasn't his style of show but, he watched it just so that he could relax and unwind with you by his side.
"Look," You glanced up from your phone to see what he was talking about when you realised it was the episode of your show where the main protagonist had a baby. She was giving birth in a barn since they were miles away from any kind of hospital,
"Ah I know, so cute right." You let out a soft laugh thinking he was talking about how close the couple were but as soon as the baby appeared on the screen again he shook his head,
"The baby." You looked at the baby in their arms. You smiled as you felt a warm feeling spread through your body, you knew you were pregnant you'd been pregnant for weeks but didn't know how to tell Hoseok. You'd never really touched on the discussion of having kids together and you thought he would think he was too young,
"You want kids?" You questioned casually as the adverts started rolling he hummed,
"I always wanted kids, they're adorable. I don't know what it is but the last couple of weeks I'd been wanting one more and more." You laughed nervously, you'd read up somewhere that when a female was pregnant with her husband or boyfriends baby they tended to get a little broody and would feel the urge to have a baby more.
"What?" He questioned watching you closely as you got up and walked into the kitchen, he stared at you while you made him and yourself another drink.
"You're drinking decaf." He mentioned getting up from the sofa and going into the kitchen behind you, you nodded your head as you added milk into the bottom of your glass.
"Well spotted sherlock," You giggled sarcastically and he stared at you some more. As if he would somehow be able to work it all out from one simple hint of you drinking decaf coffee instead of the usual.
"You've been sick lately too." You dropped the spoon into your cup, he was being smarter about this than you thought he would be but you played it cool.
"You're pregnant!?" He yelled but it was more of a question than a statement as he stared at you trying to guess if he was right, you'd never been good at lying so you avoided his eyes so you could try and get away with it.
"I KNEW IT!" He screamed jumping over to you and engulfing you in a hug, putting his hand on your stomach. There wasn't even a bump yet since you weren't that far along but you could tell he was excited about everything,
"We're going to be the best parents out there," He promised you kissing your temple and looking at your stomach,
"He doesn't even have ears yet," You laughed rolling your head back as he began talking to your stomach,
"He? What if she's a she." You rolled your eyes at him as he started debating on the gender already with you, you knew that he and the boys were going to all place bets on which you were going to be having.
"We should get you booked for a scan, and then we should start clothes shopping and getting ready. Babies take up a lot of time." He walked away from you mumbling to himself and making lists in his head while you calmly continued making drinks, already having gone through everything on your own.
Namjoon:
It was no secret that Namjoon wanted to be dad, everyone that knew Namjoon knew he wanted to be a dad so when you found out you were pregnant you kept it a secret. You knew he wanted a son or a daughter but you had to make sure you kept it from him for a while, you just wanted to make sure you were pregnant, there were many false-positive tests out there though the 30 positive ones you had stashed in a box should have been a sign enough that you were pregnant and carrying his child.
"Don't you think it's the cutest?" Namjoon questioned while you stood at the back of a small hall, you were at a gender reveal party for your cousin. You hadn't planned on coming but when Namjoon saw the invitation he jumped at the chance, he loved your family and you did too but spending all day with them wasn't your idea of fun. The hall was decorated with blue and pink decorations since it was a gender reveal and everyone was placing bets on what she was going to have.
"I want one, soon." He whispered linking your hands together, you'd noticed he was getting baby fever a lot lately and while you loved the idea of him getting excited you had a couple of weeks before you could tell him yet. You were nervous about it, saying that you wanted to have a baby and then having a baby were two completely different things. That and Namjoon was famous so it wasn't just you and him that would be affected by this change in your life.
"I know," You whispered back to him, he handed you a glass and you stared at it wondering what it was.
"Wine, your cousin wants everyone to drink since she can't." Your lips tightened as you stared at the bubbling liquid inside of the glass,
"What's up?" He chuckled deeply watching you debating about raising the glass to your lips,
"You've normally downed the glass by now." You laughed it off telling him you were trying to give it up and he drank it for you while you looked around for something safe for you to drink.
(X)
A week passed and Namjoon had done nothing but talk about wanting a baby and you didn't blame him. Since being at the party you'd gotten a lot more broody where babies were concerned, you found yourself talking to your stomach whenever Namjoon wasn't around,
"Babe!" Namjoon's voice sounded strained so you rushed up to the bathroom to see what was wrong and you saw him holding a pregnancy test box, shit. You thought you'd thrown them all out,
"What's this?" You stared at him and then at the box,
"Did you forget how to read?" You quipped trying to shift some of the focus off you and change the subject but it wasn't working because he just stared at you,
"I know what it is but, what's it doing here?" You just gave him a look with a smile on your lips, his frown was slowly being replaced with a shocked expression,
"You're really-"
"Yes!"
"That's why you haven't been drinking!" He screamed throwing his arms around you before dropping to his knees in front of you and smiling.
"Hi little guy," You smiled as he started running his hand over your stomach and talking to the tiny bump like you had been doing for the last couple of weeks.
(Since it’s going out on his birthday!!!)
Jimin:
This was your idea to test the waters with Jimin and babies, that and your best friend had just had a daughter and you wanted to buy cute outfits for her. That and it would give you some good time with Jimin to talk about babies. You'd found out you were 6 weeks pregnant last week and you'd been wondering how to tell him since.
"What about this?" You turned to look over your shoulder, Jimin was holding up the cutest onesie with a pumpkin on the front,
"It has this to match," He then pulled out an orange tutu with small black pumpkins around it. You teared up at the sight of it thanks to to the extra hormones that were running rouge through your body making you cry over the smallest of things. That morning you'd cried at a cereal advert just because the kid on it was too cute for words.
"Is it that bad?" He groaned holding them up in front of his face mumbling about how he thought they were cute,
"They're adorable," You pushed the small shopping cart over to him and he placed them in - the bottom of the trolley was lined with clothes. It was like you were buying a whole new wardrobe for her and you wanted to,
"Look at these!" He yelled holding up two tiny baby shoes and putting them on his fingers, you teared up once again and Jimin started chuckling as he found more and more clothes.
"This! This is perfect," You looked over at him to see him holding up a man's shirt and a matching boys onesie.
"She's having a girl babe," You laughed at him and he shook his head looking from the shirt to the onesie as he put them into the trolley.
"For our baby," You choked on the air you were trying to breathe,
"Our what? I-I'm not- How did you know?"
"Know what?" You both stared at one another for a couple of seconds trying to realise what the other one meant when he got the look of realisation on his face.
"No, you're not!" He yelled loudly throwing down the pieces of clothing into the trolly and rushing over to you, his hand was on your stomach within seconds and you groaned pushing him away from you.
"You're making a scene." You whispered looking at him as you glanced around hoping that no one was watching you closely,
"I'm going to scream it from the rooftops! Why didn't you tell me?!" He yelled and looked at you as you giggled at the way he was reacting. You had no idea he would be this excited over having a baby with you, you'd done nothing but worry for the last week that he would tell you he wasn't ready.
"We're going to have to plan everything, I'll get a party planner for our baby shower. The boys are gonna scream! Uncles!" He yelled looking at you and then around at the store you were in, it was a huge baby shop,
"I'm not starting to shop yet Jimin, I want to wait for my first scan." You told him as you stopped him from running away to go and get more baby clothes and products, he groaned finding it no fun.
"When is that?"
"Not for another six weeks." You laughed as his face fell flat again, and you told him you couldn't tell anybody until you'd had that first scan and checked that everything was going alright,
"It'll fly by, just keep that big mouth of yours shut." You laughed at him as he nodded promising that he would do his best to keep it a secret.
Taehyung:
Taehyung shifted over in the bed turning to look at you while you slept peacefully next to him, for the last week and a half he'd had countless of dreams about you being pregnant with his baby.
"Mmmm, Taehyung, what?" You groaned as he began shaking you awake from what was a wonderful dream, you eyes slowly fluttered open and you saw he was laying extremely close to you.
"I had a dream," You hummed closing your eyes again and trying to get yourself back to sleep but it was clear Taehyung wasn't going to let you sleep until he talked about his dream with you. You moved your head onto his chest and he began drawing patterns into the small of your back as he spoke about what his dream was.
"You were pregnant-"
"Again? Tae that's like the fifth one this week." You giggled at him wondering what could possibly be setting off the dreams he was having. You knew one of his close friends back home was having a son soon but you didn't think Taehyung would be the type to get baby fever or be effected this badly by it. Sure you wanted kids but you never got broody...Not much anyway.
"Don't you ever think about it?"
"Think about what?" You were far too tired to go into depth about babies right now but you knew that was exactly where the conversation was steering anyway.
"Babies, starting our own family. I can't stop thinking of tiny little baby hands and feet...with their tiny little noses." He yawned halfway through his sentence and you patted his chest telling him to just go back to sleep and you would talk about it in the morning.
(X)
Morning came but you were in no fit state to talk about babies, you had your head resting on the toilet seat waiting for the next wave of nausea to hit you. You'd spent the last hour throwing up while Taehyung spent it trying to keep your hair out of your face and giving you water whenever you asked for it, you groaned sitting back against the tiled wall. He smiled softly down at you asking if you needed anything and that was when you noticed the calendar behind his head. You were late. Four weeks late.
"Top drawer there's a pink bag, can you bring me it?" He left the room so you sat up and flushed the toilet getting ready to take the test he was bringing you,
"What's in it?" You pulled out a pregnancy test and his mouth formed an 'O' shape.
You came out five minutes later staring at the smiley face on the stick,
"So you're a psychic?" You questioned looking from the stick up to his face, he had one of the biggest smiles you'd ever seen stretched across it and you giggled at him.
"I'm gonna be a dad?!" He yelled out coming over to you and jumping up and down when you got hit by another wave.
"Gonna be sick." You grunted rushing into the bathroom and throwing up once again, you really weren't looking forward to the countless amounts of times you were going to be doing this but you and Taehyung were over the moon about being pregnant together.
Jungkook:
"He's asleep," You whispered to Jungkook when he came into the living room. You were looking after your best friends son while she went out on a long-overdue date with her husband. Jungkook looked down at the sleeping infant in your hands and started tearing up, he'd been experiencing terrible baby fever since the moment your friend dropped off her son at your front door.
"Hear me out..." He whispered sitting down next to you and touching the boy's cheek, it was so soft and you couldn't deny the urge to squeeze them every time you saw him looking up at you with his giant blue eyes.
"What if we made one?" He questioned looking from the baby to you while you processed what he was saying. There was one thing that Jungkook didn't know though and that was that you were already carrying his child, you hadn't told him yet because you were waiting for the right time. He'd been so stressed out with work lately that you didn't want to dump it all on him at once.
"Make a baby?" You questioned him handing him the baby before standing up to stretch and crack your back, you had no crip for him to sleep in so he was sleeping in your arms or in the car seat she'd dropped him off in.
"Yeah, I think we'd be good parents." He told you as he looked down at the sleeping baby,
"We think you'll be a great dad too," He didn't catch what you said so you smirked at him knowing you were going to have to be painstakingly obvious about it with him until he got what you were telling him.
"You're adorable with him Kookie, you're going to be a great dad in nine months." You stared at him waiting for some kind of reaction but there was nothing coming from him to suggest that he'd heard what you'd said so you smirked to yourself.
"Jungkook I'm pregnant and you're the dad." Nothing. He just sat there bouncing the baby from side to side while smiling at him. You rolled your eyes and went to make you and Jungkook something to eat instead.
(X)
"I can't believe he's gone." Jungkook pouted as you sat in the now quiet living room, he sat down next to you as you pouted.
"It's going to be so quiet," You added on to his sentence looking around the living room, you had to clean up a little but you could sit here for a couple more seconds.
"Only for another nine months, after that it'll be loud again." He casually said as he patted your leg and got up from the sofa. You stared at him as he walked into the kitchen to get a drink,
"What?" You questioned scrambling after him as you tried to ask him what he meant,
"Did you seriously think I didn't hear you dropping hints all weekend? You told me you were pregnant, I heard." You blinked at him as he smirked at you,
"So you heard me and said nothing? You just let me keep saying it to you over and over again?" He started nodding while laughing at you and you stared at him.
"You're evil Jeon Jungkook." You joked as he walked closer to you left a small kiss on your lips,
"You love me though," You hummed and looked around the kitchen, it was a tip from all the bottles you'd been making up that weekend.
"Rock, paper, scissors on the kitchen?" You both began battling it out on who had to clean what and where.
Tagline:
@writingdreamsnottragedies @snowy-meowl @jooniesdarlingdimples @lyoongx @fan-ati--c @mitzwinchester @callingmyangel @rjsmochii @kneel-begyourpardon @taestannie @innersooya
#bts#bts x reader#bts x you#bts x y/n#bts reaction#bts reactions#seokjin#seokjin x reader#kim seokjin#jin#min yoongi#yoongi#yoongi x reader#suga#jung hoseok#hoseok#hoseok x reader#jhope#kim namjoon#namjoon#namjoon x reader#park jimin#jimin#jimin x reader#kim taehyung#taehyung#taehyung x reader#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook x reader
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clandestine (chapter 2)
PAIRING: Tom Holland x fem!Reader
SUMMARY: Y/N is an up and coming actress, married to a once hotshot actor, Harrison (Haz). What happens when her co-star, Tom, makes her realise that she is stuck in a loveless marriage. A marriage starts crumbling and a new romance stars brewing.
chapter 2: portrait of a dinner
A/N: the characters in no way portray how these ppl are in real life. i do not encourage cheating. i hope you guys like this chapter!! i would love to know how you guys feel about the story. feedback is always appreciated.
warnings: drinking, smoking, cursing
word count: 1.6k
important: the whole chapter is a flashback, character thoughts are in bold italics
masterlist series masterlist chapter 1 chapter 3
“I rent a place on Cornelia street”, Tom said casually in the car. They were sitting in the backseat of a black town car, going for their shoot. Y/N had suggested that they travel together, in an attempt to get to know each other better. She said, “It would help with the on screen chemistry”, the whole production team agreed. But that did not become a norm for them, mostly because of their different call times.
Both of them had hectic filming schedules and only saw each other when they had scenes together. Sometimes they would bump into each other at the craft service, but otherwise, they were on their own.
During the last few weeks of filming, Tom had started getting her coffee. He had noticed how she took her coffee during the shooting. Black with one sugar.
“There you go”, Tom handed her the coffee. “Thanks Tom.” He gave her a smile. She was walking towards the door, and Tom started following her behind.
“I’m going to hair and makeup, do you wanna tag along?” she asked him.
“Sure, I have a 15 minute break anyway”
“Have you seen Hot Rod? I watched it last night” she didn’t know why she asked that silly question. She found it embarrassing.
“That Andy Samberg movie, right?” Tom nodded, “Yeah I watched it a long time ago, it’s a classic”
“I totally watched it for Bill Hader” She found herself easing up to him.
“Valid reason. Loved him on SNL. Do you know Stefon? from SNL?” She reached for the door handle, a gush of cold air was felt by both of them.
“Don’t even get me started on Stefon. I used to watch Stefon compilations on YouTube all the time. It became a problem” she chuckled, remembering how Haz used to get pissed off whenever she’d talk in a ‘Stefon’ tone.
Oh, I love it when she chuckles like that. I wish I could kiss her. NO. She is fucking married, Tom.
“Yes yes yes, New York’s hottest club is…” Tom tried to imitate Bill Hader as Stefon. He looked around a bit and pointed towards the paparazzi, who were trying to take pictures of anything worth money. “New York’s hottest club is paparazzi” he continued.
“If paparazzi is the hottest club, then I’m fine staying at home” Y/N was laughing so hard that she couldn’t breathe. She clutched Tom’s arm to avoid falling down while trying to contain her laughter. She hadn’t had a good laugh with Haz in a long time.
--
Tom found himself at Y/N’s doorsteps with cheap wine he bought from the convenience store last minute. Y/N had invited Tom and his partner for dinner during the last week of shooting.
“Oh, I’m not seeing anyone actually, but my lonely heart and I will be there”, Tom replied to Y/N’s invitation.
He rang the bell and waited for someone to open the door. Tom was met by Haz’ charming smile, as he opened the door. Tom could see right through his fake smile. Clueless to Y/N and Haz’ fight prior, he entered the two story building.
“Why did you invite him without asking me?” Haz screamed, slamming the plates on the table.
“I didn’t think you’d be home tonight, you never are” Y/N replied in the same tone as Haz
“So you were going to have dinner with him, alone?”
“Yes” she said in a crude way.
“Are you fucking him?” Just as Haz asked her, the doorbell rang.
It would be better fucking him than fucking you. At least he’ll be home.
Y/N entered the kitchen leaving Haz to open the door. “You must be Tom” said Haz, in his most likeable voice.
“Yeah and you must be Haz. I got this for you guys”, Tom handed him the wine bottle.
He’s a bloody hotshot and brought us cheap wine.
“Hey Tom, I’m so glad you could make it”, Y/N said, taking Tom in for a hug. She could feel Haz burning a hole behind her head with his gaze.
She pulled out of the hug, “do you want red or white wine?”
“Red”, Harrison and Tom said in unison. Y/N let out a little chuckle and went into the kitchen. Tom started noticing the little things in their house, like how there were film and Polaroid cameras scattered everywhere. There was a vinyl shelf right above an old golden gramophone, adjacent to their brown leather couch.
He noticed a collage of pictures and recognised some of the photos from the time they were taken on set. There was one with him and Y/N. He felt a sense of pride knowing that their picture hung on Y/N’s wall and the possibility of her looking at it every day.
“So, what do you wanna hear?” Harrison was standing next to their vinyl collection. “Since Y/N lives here, we have everything Taylor Swift, I don’t suppose you’re into that pop shit, are you?”
“Actually I do like pop but more like alt-pop”
Harrison wasn’t surprised. He seemed like a ‘Beach House’ kinda guy anyway, to him.
“So you like alt-pop?” Y/N walked towards the boys with two glasses of red wine in her hands. “Have you heard of ‘peter cat recording co.’?” she asked Tom
“Yes I have! Oh, I thought nobody knew about them. I’m glad I found you”, Tom was filled with giddy excitement.
“PCRC it is, then”, Haz said in an annoyed tone. He grabbed the vinyl of ‘portrait of a time’, their first album, and placed it on the gramophone.
“Babe, where is your glass?” Haz asked Y/N.
“Oh I, shit I left it in the kitchen”
“No worries I’ll get it”, Haz kissed her cheek and left the living room.
Even though Y/N knew it was fake niceties, she still craved it. It felt nice, behaving like a normal couple instead of fighting over every damn thing, and him storming out of the house almost every night. Sometimes she felt that Harrison was a hypocrite. He would accuse her of cheating with every guy in her life, but wouldn’t be home nine out of ten times.
They were now seated on their wooden dining table, with dried flowers in the middle. Haz and Y/N were sitting opposite to Tom. There was Chinese takeout in their fancy china.
“Sorry about the take out, neither of us are good at cooking and we didn’t want you getting sick”, Y/N tried to justify the absence of a home cooked meal.
“It’s fine as long as I’m getting fed”, Tom chuckled.
“No actually all this food is only for Y/N and me”, Haz said, trying to sound serious.
That was a bad joke, all of them thought.
There was an awkward silence. Haz cleared his throat, “So Y/N, are you seeing someone?”
“Haz, you can’t just ask someone that!”
“It’s okay Y/N. No Haz, I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.” Tom said, blushing at the personal question.
“So you are single”, Haz said looking at Y/N, in an attempt to imply that she might be having an affair with him.
Trying to hide her annoyance, Y/N started serving the food. The rest of the dinner was normal. They talked about the movie and Haz did not spontaneously combust. In Y/N’s mind, it was near to a success. When Tom started to leave, Y/N offered to drop him to his apartment building, but he settled on walking him one block.
Y/N grabbed her jacket as they left the house. She pulled out a box of cigarettes from her pocket and offered Tom.
“Oh, I don’t smoke”
Y/N scuffed with a cigarette between her teeth.
“What kind of an English man are you?” she said, lighting her cigarette.
“Well you know it’s a common misconception, we don’t all smoke”
“That’s good to know”, she took a long drag.
“Also you might not like the wine I brought you. I realised pretty late that I should be getting you something because I was visiting your house for the first time, so I bought the best wine I could find in that convenience store”, he pointed towards the store a few metres away from them.
“Its fine, it’ll remind me of my youth”, they both laughed.
“I guess this is one block, you should go back home now”, Tom said while trying hail a cab by waving his right hand frantically, at the edge of the curb. He looked ridiculous.
“You clearly have never done this before” she laughed at him, turning Tom’s face red.
She stepped off the curb, to be seen clearly by the oncoming traffic, put out her arm and a cab was there in seconds.
“So I guess I’ll see you around” he said while pulling Y/N into a hug.
His touch made her hyper aware and same could be said for Tom. Y/N started to pull out but stopped half way. It felt like they were both looking inside each other’s soul through their eyes.
“Ay, lovebirds, you comin or not”, the cab driver screamed making them break away. He got in and Y/N closed the door for him. That’s when her phone pinged.
Haz: where are you, I’m going out.
#tom holland#tom holland x reader#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland x actress!reader#tom holland imagine#tom holland smut#tom holland fic#tom holland fluff#tom holland self insert#clandestine#harrison osterfeild x reader#harrison osterfield#marvel#marvel fanfiction#spiderman x reader#spiderman#taylor swift
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Unexpected Visitor
After a string of several days or no sleeping or eating, Penny brings a friend by to visit James.
This was just supposed to be a super short little thing that got a little longer then expected but I hope you guys enjoy it anyways. Major Leaf being James’s best friend is now my new favorite thing sorry not sorry.
Ever since Beacon, days had begun to blur, one day bleeding into the next with James completely losing all concept on time. He couldn’t say when the last time he slept or ate was, only vaguely knowing it probably had been some time with the worried looks Clover and Winter occasionally gave him. Despite knowing he technically needed to eat and sleep to survive, Mettle could easily keep him going for days and he needed every second he could get. There was so much work to do with global communications down it fell on him to figure out all the answers on reconnecting all of Remnant together again.
Taking a shaky breath, James rested his face in his hands, tiredly rubbing his temples, willing his blurry vision to focus. He had too much work left to do to stop now. If he could just keep going for a few more hours….James jerked his head up when something warm draped itself around his shoulders, Penny saying,
“Sorry sir I thought you were asleep!”
“N-no it’s fine,” James said, glancing at his shoulder to see Penny had draped a blanket around his shoulder. Something nudged his arm and James glanced down to see Major Leaf on his desk, affectionately nudging his arm. “Hey, what are you doing here?” James asked, reaching down to pet his head.
“He told me he wanted to eat dinner with you!”
“He told you so?” James curiously, glancing down at the two bowls, one with Major Leafs usual dinner of various leaves and what he assumed was James’s steaming bowl of soup with a cup of tea.
“He did! I speak turtle!” Penny said.
“You speak turtle?” James asked.
“Yep!” Penny cheerfully said. “He misses seeing you, you haven’t been by your room in days to see him.”
“I….hadn’t realized it had been so long,” James mumbled, sheepishly glancing down at Major Leaf.
“Don’t worry, he isn’t mad,” Penny assured. “He’s just worried and wants to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.”
“Oh uh-” James awkwardly said, feeling guilty. “I’ve just been busy-”
“That’s why I brought dinner!” Penny said. “So you two can eat together!”
“Thank you Penny,” James said, realizing he would not get out of eating dinner, now without upsetting Penny and Major Leaf.
“Of course sir! I thought tea and a nice warm bowl of soup would be nice for dinner tonight with the storm!”
“Storm?” James asked, turning towards the window to see snow swirling outside.
“You really have been busy sir,” Penny said.
“I have….” James slowly said, turning back to his food, picking up the tea cup and taking a long drink from it, the tea warming him to his core. “This is wonderful, thank you.”
“Of course sir!”
“You don’t have to wait up for us,” James said as he took a spoonful of soup.
“I know sir,” Penny assured. “I just thought you might like some company!”
“Oh….” James said, booking at Penny in surprise for a moment before saying, “I suppose-” Earning a wide grin from Penny.
“May I ask you a question sir?”
“Of course,” James said, watching as Major Leaf slowly walked over to his own meal.
“Major Leaf wouldn’t tell me, but how did you two meet?” Penny asked.
“I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t tell you,” James said with a chuckle, watching as Major Leaf happily started eating. “I’m afraid it’s not a very exciting story. But my grandparents adopted him and whenever I visited them I would always ask to play with Major Leaf and when they passed away….their last wish for him was for me to take care of him so I did.”
“So you’ve been best friends for a long time huh?”
“As long as I can remember,” James admitted, reaching out to pet Major Leaf.
“It’s wonderful that you could remain friends for so long,” Penny said with a smile.
“I suppose I am lucky to have him,” James agreed.
“He worries about you, quite a bit sir,” Penny said.
“Oh?” James asked.
“He says you’ve been working too hard and that you really should be taking care of yourself,” Penny said.
“There's just too much work to be done and not enough hours in the day,” James softly mumbled, watching as Major Leaf nuzzled into his touch.
“He knows Sir,” Penny said. “But he also says that if you don’t take care of yourself and you get sick, how will you be able to lead?”
“If I fail because I missed or forgot something, then what kind of leader am I?” James countered.
“My dad always says that a good night's rest and a nice warm meal lead to a far more productive day and makes it so you're less likely to make a mistake.”
“Some of us unfortunately don’t have that luxury,” James sighed.
“Wouldn’t Winter or Clover help with anything you needed while you slept?” Penny asked, curiously tilting her head to the side.
“....I don’t want to burden them,” James sighed, dropping his hand away from Major Leaf.
“But if they are also your friends, wouldn’t they not want to see you take it all on yourself?” Penny softly asked, Major Leaf abandoning his meal entirely to nuzzle his head once more against James’s arm.
“It just doesn’t seem fair to put it on them….” James tiredly sighed, petting Major Leaf once more.
“It doesn’t seem fair that you have to do it all on your own either,” Penny said.
“I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to take on both positions,” James mumbled. “I’ve made my bed.”
“I see,” Penny said, a deep frown on her face as James awkwardly took another spoonful of soup, a heavy silence hanging in the air as James ate, groggily trying to sort through his thoughts, but finding his mind was stalling out to a complete blank on him. Maybe it was the warm soup and tea that was making him so tired. Maybe it was a mistake agreeing to eat. Or maybe it was exhaustion catching up to him.He honestly didn’t know.
“It’s good to see you both eating at least.” Penny said when James had finished his own bowl.
“Both?” James curiously asked.
“Major Leaf has been so worried he hasn’t been eating either,” Penny explained, guilt once again stabbing at his chest. He didn’t give a damn about his own health but Major Leaf? He promised he would care for him and him refusing to eat meant James was failing. “I think eating with you helped a lot!”
“I’m glad,” James softly said, watching as Major Leaf finished his own food before going back to James.
“Would you like me to take him back to your room sir?” Penny asked.
“No, no,” James said. “I think...it might be best for me to retire for a few hours at least.” This wasn’t a break, this was him just spending some quality time with his neglected pet. He wasn’t a monster after all and he owed that time to him.
“Of course sir!” Penny said, barely able to contain her grin as she gathered up the dishes.
“You don’t have to do that Penny,” James said.
“I don’t, but I want to!” Penny assured. “Isn’t that what friends do for each other? They do things that aren’t fun but help out the person they care about.”
“I-” James began swallowing thickly at her words, a whirlwind of emotions swelling in his chest. “I suppose so, yes.”
“I would like to be your friend sir.” Penny said.
“I uh- I’d like that to,” James softly said, It was silly, he couldn’t be friends with his subordinates but seeing the way Penny’s face lit up at his words, he found he couldn’t really regret saying them. Penny had been through so much in her short time alive… who was he to deny her something so trivial as friendship.
“Goodnight sir,” Penny said, flashing him a warm smile before walking out of his office, leaving James alone with Major Leaf.
“Well, come on you,” James softly said, scooping up Major Leaf in his arms. “Have you been misbehaving and not sleeping as well?” He wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case from what Penny said “Well come on then, we both could use a short nap.” He wasn’t doing it for himself, this was just for Major Leaf. He would not be a poor pet owner for him. Just as James reached the door to his office, it whooshed open to reveal Winter who let out a small gasp of surprise,
“Apologies Sir. I didn’t realize you had a meeting.”
“No meeting,” James assured as Winter’s gaze fell to Major Leaf resting in his arms.
“Penny informed me Major Leaf has not been taking care of himself so I thought I would stay with him in my room for a bit just to make sure he’s okay.”
“Of course sir,” Winter said.
“Was there something you needed?” James asked.
“Nothing of any importance sir,” Winter assured.
“You can reach me if you need anything,” James assured.
“Of course sir,” Winter assured. “Good night.”
“Good night Winter,” James said, stepping around Winter, nodding at Clover as he walked passed. This was just for Major Leaf. He would be right back to work after he made sure he was well taken care of.
He would never find out he nearly slept for twenty four hours, with Major Leaf acting as bodyguard much like when they were children. Him being so exhausted he wouldn’t notice the missing day, nor would anyone dare point it out for fear of the inevitable panic it would ensue, everyone too grateful for whatever Penny had said that convinced James to pay at least a little more attention to his health, even if it was only for Major Leaf’s sake.
#James Ironwood#penny polendina#Major Leaf#Major Leaf AU#Pro James Ironwood#Ironwood Protection Squad#Major Leaf and Penny are the funding members#Pro Ironwood#General ironwood#General Dadmiral
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I’m glad to see you back!! I’m not sure if you are accepting requests but just in case I’d like to request an emeto sick Jooheon with Changkyun as a caretaker! (Can you guess who my biases are lol) I hope you are doing well!!
Sleep well, honey
Fandom: Monsta X
Sickie: Jooheon
Caregiver: Changkyun
Prompt: 'Hot water bottle' @sicktember
No one's POV.:
Monsta X had finally gotten a day off after a long time. Most members wanted to go out and have fun or visit their families, who they haven't seen in a while. The two maknaes however felt tired out from their busy schedules and decided they'd stay at the dorm and sleep in as late as they'd want to, which on Jooheon's case ended up being really late. Changkyung had already been up for two hours and not wanting to wake his friend, made himself a small breakfast before lazing on the couch and watching TV. It was already a bit past lunch time when he started to worry. Sure, they all were exhausted but sleeping this long really was extreme. The youngest decided to give Jooheon thirty more minutes before he'd go and check on him. Those thirty minutes passed with Changkyun unable to focus on the drama he was watching before he got up and quietly made his way to his friend's room. He carefully opened the door just a crack, peaking into the dim room. Apparently, the older rapper was still asleep. Walking closer, Changkyun looked at his hyung. Jooheon was curled up around a pillow, hugging it to his middle. His brows were furrowed, forehead glistening with sweat. Before the younger could feel for a fever though, Jooheon stirred, looking at Changkyun surprised. "Sorry for waking you", the maknae apologized, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. Closing his eyes again, Jooheon shook his head and denied: "You didn't, I've already been awake for a while."
Uncomfortable with the silence, Changkyung asked: "Are you okay? I thought I'd check on you, considering how late it is already." – "I-I've got a stomach ache... Can you make it better?", the older groaned, grimacing in pain. As if to prove his point, his stomach grumbled angrily, causing the rapper to squeeze his eyes shut and bury his face in the pillow. Unsure of how he was supposed to make it better, Changkyun offered: "Well, you haven't had breakfast yet. I could make you something light and see if that settles your stomach." Gritting his teeth as a cramp hit, Jooheon shook his head. "Please don't make me food", he breathed, when the cramp let up. Rubbing the older's back comfortingly, Changkyung wracked his brain to come up with another way to help his friend. "How about a hot water bottle?", he hummed after a few minutes of thinking, "Might help your muscles relax and ease the cramps a little." – "Please", Jooheon nodded, gripping his pillow tighter. Squeezing his hyung's shoulder, Changkyun got up and promised: "Be back in a minute. Hang in there." The older nodded again, although this time, his dongsaeng couldn't see it as he was already out of the room.
As he waited for Changkyun to return, Jooheon couldn't help but notice the way the pain in his abdomen slowly morphed into something else. His stomach churned, letting out a sickly gurgle. Propping himself up on his elbow, Jooheon brought his fist up to his lips and muffled a queasy belch. He hoped it was just some gas wanting out but by the way his mouth watered, he could tell he wouldn't be that lucky. Unsure of what was going to happen, he stayed propped up, which was how Changkyun found him a few minutes later. "You okay?", The rapper asked worriedly, placing the hot water bottle aside to take in the other's sickly appearance, noting, "You could blend in with the wall perfectly with how white you look right now." – "I-I don't know", the older muttered, "It just hurt at first but now, I feel nauseous out of nowhere." Gently pulling the pillow out of his hyung's grasp, the maknae hummed: "Let's camp out in the bathroom for a while." Jooheon nodded, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He needed a moment for his head to stop spinning and for his stomach to settle a bit, as he feared he'd get sick all over the floor the moment he stood up.
Changkyung stayed close by and wrapped an arm around Jooheon's waist, supporting him as he stumbled to the bathroom, one arm cradling his upset stomach. The older already felt bile rising up his throat and swallowed back a gag, clenching his teeth, afraid something would come up before they made it to the bathroom. His shaky legs giving out the moment he reached his destination. Jooheon squeezed his eyes shut praying for his stomach to settle while the younger flipped up the toilet seat. Knowing how much his friend hated throwing up, Changkyun crouched behind him and rubbed his back. He could feel the heat radiating through his shirt. Remembering that he had wanted to check for a fever earlier but had gotten distracted when the other woke up, the maknae pressed the backs of his fingers against his hyung's neck. Jooheon shuddered at the cold touch. "You're burning", the younger cooed sympathetically, getting back up to fetch a cold washcloth. Jooheon only groaned, not really surprised at the revelation. His stomach was still doing backflips and he could feel his mouth water. Swallowing convulsively, the rapper moved closer to the toilet bowl. He hated being sick with a passion and would try his hardest to keep his stomach in place. Slowly he was losing the fight though and it freaked him out. Changkyun could tell by the way his friend's hands shook. Draping the cool cloth across the older's neck, he hummed: "Deep breaths. Stressing yourself out isn't going to help."
Trying to take a deep breath, Jooheon shook his head. His air was cut off by his throat contracting with an unproductive gag, that brought tears to his eyes. Only seconds later, his stomach lurched and he choked up a wave of mainly stomach acid. Changkyun was there, rubbing his back and whispering words of encouragement. Clutching the other's hand for support, Jooheon retched again. His ears rang as he threw up last night's dinner. Catching a short break, Jooheon tore off a wad of toilet paper to first dry the tears and sweat before cleaning his lips and chin. "Do you think you're done?", Changkyun whispered, rewetting the washcloth. The older shook his head, crossing his arms over the toilet and dizzily resting his head on them. Gently combing his hair back, the maknae sighed: "You already felt sick last night, didn't you? I remember you barely ate anything for dinner." – "Jus' wasn't hungry", Jooheon denied, cringing at the vile smell. "Alright, sit back against the tub for a moment, yeah?", the younger frowned, reaching to flush the toilet for the older, "Are you sure you're not done? You barely ate dinner and skipped breakfast entirely. How could there possibly be anything for you to throw up?" – "T-There is", Jooheon insisted, leaning over the toilet again.
They sat there for another twenty minutes but nothing happened aside from the rapper's stomach turning painfully. Still running his hand up and down the older's back, Changkyun offered: "Do you want me to call any of the hyungs for you?" Jooheon shook his head. They should enjoy their day off. "I could get you some water. Maybe if you drink something, you could throw up and get it over with", the younger tried, hoping to find a way to help his friend feel at least a little better. Unsurprisingly, Jooheon shook his head again. He hated throwing up, so there was no way he'd make himself sick even if he would feel better afterwards. After another ten minutes, Changkyun was able to convince him to move to the living room couch. While the older curled up there, drawing his legs up to his chest and hugging his sore middle, the maknae fetched a bucket and placed it next to the couch just in case. Then he collected the hot water bottle he had abandoned on his friend's bed and went to refill it, so it'd be nice and warm again. "You still want this", he asked quietly, crouching next to the couch and showing his hyung the hot water bottle. The older nodded, uncurling just enough to hug the newfound heat source to his middle. It was only now that he noticed just how cold he felt. Changkyun picked up on the little shivers and frowned. Jooheon's fever must have gone up if he was having chills like that.
Retrieving a fluffy blanket from his room, the maknae also fetched an ice pack before returning to the living room. He spread the blanket over his hyung's tightly curled up form and warned: "I'll put something cold on your forehead. Your head must be hurting from the high temperature you're sporting." Jooheon mumbled something incoherent and flinched a bit when the younger pressed the icepack to his forehead. Heart aching in sympathy, Changkyun stroked the other's arm till he had gotten used to the cold sensation on his face and was able to relax a bit. "Do you want me to turn on the TV to distract you a bit?", the maknae asked, reaching for the remote. He couldn't just let his friend wither in pain. Though he didn't get a reply, he turned on a random drama that was playing, making sure the volume was just loud enough to understand. After a few minutes, Jooheon opened his eyes and glanced at the TV too. If he couldn't sleep anyway, a distraction didn't sound too bad. In the beginning, the background noise and distraction were really welcome but after sometime, all the colors seemed to blur together, making the rapper's head pound. He closed his eyes, hoping to follow along with the plot despite not being able to see it. It didn't work and not being occupied anymore, he started paying more attention to how his body felt. Jooheon could feel every slight turn of his stomach and took a deep breath, reminding himself that the bucket was right there and nothing bad could happen to him. He'd be fine.
Ten minutes later, Changkyun noticed how his friend's skin shade looked faded and washed out. Just as he wanted to ask if everything was alright, the older propped himself on his elbow and leaned over the edge of the couch. Pulling the bucket closer, Jooheon drew in a shaky breath. Tears already pricked at his eyes. They finally had a day off and he had to spend it miserable like this. "Ssh, you're okay", Changkyun promised, moving closer to rub the other's back. The older choked out a sob before ducking his head into the bucket with a forceful retch. Changkyun patted his back as he coughed up a wave of sick. Considering it was mostly stomach acid and bile, Jooheon's throat burned making it incredibly painful to take in a breath. Before he could really recover from the first wave, his stomach lurched again and the younger cringed at the wet splattering noise. Changkyun could feel his own stomach clench and looked away but his hand never stopped drawing soothing circles onto his hyung's back.
Exhausted, Jooheon flopped onto his back, his arm draped over his face as he tried to recover from the exertion. "I'll get you some water. You don't have to drink immediately but maybe rinse your mouth", Changkyun hummed, placing the icepack back onto his friend's forehead before getting up and making his way to the kitchen. When he returned, the older seemed almost asleep but groaned quietly when the maknae rubbed his arm to get his attention. Jooheon sat up with some struggle and accepted the water his dongsaeng handed him. First, he rinsed his mouth a few times before taking a small sip and handing the glass back. Helping the older get settled again, Changkyun tucked the blanket around his hyung's shoulders and asked: "Will you be alright for a moment, so I can clean this out?" Jooheon nodded with his eyes closed. He felt like the couch was moving underneath him and just wanted for it to stay still so he could go to sleep. With the dizziness taking up most of his attention, he barely noticed when Changkyun returned and placed the now clean bucket back on the floor. The maknae could tell Jooheon wasn't asleep, his face didn't look relaxed enough for that. In hopes of helping the older get some rest, he played with his hair and gently scratched his scalp, successfully distracting Jooheon from most of his discomfort. He was too exhausted to stay awake much longer anyway. Changkyun smiled a bit when his hyung's face relaxed and he huffed a soft breath in his sleep. Sleep well, honey.
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ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ɴᴏᴛ | ᴋᴀɪ ᴄʜɪꜱᴀᴋɪ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | ᴏɴᴇ-ꜱʜᴏᴛ
Y’all thought it was oVER? lolol Blame Admin T--- I asked her who I should write for BNHA and she said this SO ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ As always, thank you all so much for the love and support for this blog~! I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did with writing it~!
I do apologize if I don’t capture his character the best ;;”
I won’t lie, I was listening to Might U as I was writing this.
» » Admin Ko
Tedious. At least, that’s what it should’ve been. Yet instead of feeling the normal bouts of irritation at the lack of control he had over the situation at hand, he felt...unnerved. The imaginary seed that was implanted in his stomach all those months ago seemed to only gain in mass.
“...Who are you?”
He shouldn’t have allowed himself to grow these...feelings. Not only did he feel contaminated and utterly sick to his stomach, but the strange ache in his chest did nothing to help soothe his frazzled nerves as those curious yet dim (e/c) hues peered into his sorrowful golden ones.
“...My name is Chisaki Kai...”
“Oh! Hello Chisaki.”
A bout of coughing and another grimace as the pain in his chest amplified tenfold at the horrifying sound. It disgusted him. It truly did, yet instead of feeling the need to get away, he wanted to get closer to her. To comfort her-- hell to shake some common sense into her. Even if it meant he would break out, he just had to do something.
“I...apologize if this seems rude...”
“What is it?”
“...what happened to your arms?”
“...I lost them because I was careless. This...I suppose, is my punishment.”
Her curious stare continued to wash over him as he felt the prickle of goosebumps rise on his shoulders. Turning away, he kept his gaze on the vacant wall of the hospital ward. This was torturous. She was torturous.
Yet still she managed to worm her way into his heart, and he didn’t know whether or not if he wanted to ask for cardiac surgery or to embrace this newfound emotion.
All he really knew was that if he had only been smarter-- hell maybe even faster at coming up with the quirk-destroying drug he could’ve prevented this. He could’ve gotten rid of the parasite that lurked in her veins.
➽───────────────❥
6 Months Ago
“Patient name: (y/n) (l/n). Quirk: Amnesiac.”
Trudging down the corridor, the man once known as Overhaul, walked in step alongside his parole officer / attending doctor. It hadn’t been too long since his arrest and...amputation. In all honesty, he wondered why he was being granted this rare privilege.
An assistant for a patient. That’s all they had told him. Of course Kai had to scoff. How on earth was he supposed to help? With the lack of usable limbs and knowledge limited to that of basic medical needs he didn’t really find a real necessity in this patient’s apparent ‘recovery’.
“...Amnesiac?”
“As it’s name implies, it’s a quirk that deals the user amnesia--- yet in our patient’s case it not only forces her to lose her memories, but practically breaks down her body’s physical state.”
“...In simpler terms?”
“In short every time she loses her memory her body deteriorates along with it. It’s as if her body is, in a sense...rewinding itself forward to make up for the fact that she lost those memories.”
A grimace. If he could, he would’ve spat out that he had been right in his assumption that quirks were just an infestation to the world, this patient clearly being a poor victim of it.
“...And what is my purpose of ‘assisting’ you?”
“As far as I’m aware, you’re pretty damn heartless and selfish. So it should be easy for you to not catch feelings for her whilst being a constant in her life right?”
“A...constant.”
“Yeah, just someone who she sees everyday until well...”
“She passes.”
“I mean...yeah. Damn you really are heartless.”
“Tch. This is a waste of my time is what this is.”
“Hey, you’re helping me whether you want to or not man. It’s just a visit everyday for like, an hour or two at most.”
Another grimace was given as Kai felt a shiver run down his spine. Despite the place he would be in was a hospital, it still brought the ex-yakuza boss a sense of dread. Especially with the amount of infested bodies that littered the place.
“...how long?”
“Holy shit dude, I get that you don’t want to do this but seriously---”
“How long until she loses her memory you dumbass.”
“..Oh. Well, from what we gather they can last from a day, to a couple of months. Though the longer she stays in a...well, let’s call it a session, the more it harms her body.”
“So say she forgets me tomorrow.”
“Then her body moves forward a day.”
“....After a month?”
“She lurches forward a month.”
“Thus leading to a quick progression in her deteriorating health.”
“...Exactly.”
It was, to say the least, unsettling to hear. Never had he heard of such a sickening twist for a quirk. No matter, the deal was simple. If he was lucky, this would last a year-- as fucked up as it sounded, the sooner she passed the less she would suffer in the long run.
As they neared the door, the clear unease that settled on his features was one that his parole doctor could see from a mile away.
“Chill dude, it’ll be fine.”
With that, the door cracked open, and there seated quietly whilst reading a book was a woman. By any standards she was normal, average, easy on the eyes with a slight fae-like feel. Though really it was most likely the early evening glow that cascaded into her room the moment they entered.
All Kai really knew was that it was the moment when gold met glittering (e/c) hues that a seed lodged it’s way into his stomach.
➽───────────────❥
It had started off easy-- well in Kai’s opinion it had. Every other day seemed to be a new start to the ritual that was re-introducing himself to her and making small talk.
In all honesty, he wouldn’t admit it, but the simplicity of being able to have a normal conversation with someone brought a sense of peace in him. Of course this didn’t mean his usual snark and calculating ways-- or so he says.
For Kai, this change in routine was oddly enough, welcomed. With everything he had gone and the collogues he had imprisoned god knows where, the opportunity to engage in small talk was to say the least, enlightening. It had surprised him. As someone who sought out tactical moves in reading his opponents, he found himself at ease with the simplicity of where he was at.
Granted it was albeit dull in comparison to the interrogations he goes through, it was still a part of his routine that he refused to change. Not when he’s been so invested in it.
That changes when the day he enters her room to find that instead of having to reintroduce himself to her, she remembers him. She flashes him a gentle smile with an endearing, “How are you?” and that in itself has the former yakuza leader lose his breath as he can only comically blink at her before forcing himself to adjust to this strange change.
No later did another change occur that brought a wave of new emotions in him. She had touched him. A caress to his cheek, and unsurprisingly in that moment he broke out in hives. His sight blurring as panic shot through his system at the abundance of thoughts that struck his head as the irritation from the hives had him reeling away from her.
He didn’t see her distressed face. Nor did he see the tears that streamed down her cheeks as she desperately sought out someone to help him. Instead, he awoke to his room laying down with his hives treated.
He felt violated. Disgusted, yet still. Even with that he found himself at her door a week later. Prepared to start a new with her and a possible replay of what had happened a week prior. Instead, he found her bowed deeply at the waist as she tightly clutched at the thin fabric of her hospital gown.
“I’m so sorry Chisaki! I didn’t know...I deeply apologize for what had happened!”
“...You...remembered?”
“Of course! You’re someone I can never forget.”
The pit in his stomach grew tenfold as his feet began to walk towards the awaiting lounge chair. Golden hues met truthful (e/c) ones as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat before once again bowing.
“I really am sorry...I shouldn’t have reached out to you like that...”
“...just be more aware next time.”
And like that, the pit in his stomach continued to grow. With each passing day she retained her memories, the more the pit swelled in size, and the more she began to work her way into his heart.
➽───────────────❥
Present Day
He didn’t know why he felt an overwhelming pressure in his gut. The lack of food he ate was odd enough, but to actively avoid something out of his daily routine? It was unheard of. He even made that stupid request to ask his parole doctor to grab (y/n) that stupid drink she liked.
Mentally shaking his head, Kai lightly tapped his shoe against the door before sliding it open.
The sight bestowed upon him though was one that could’ve brought him to his knees as the pang in his chest seemed to duly ache as he dragged his feet into the room.
“...(y/n)?”
It was quiet. The warm beams of the spring sun settled on her pale features as dim (e/c) orbs glimmered at the sight of him. He should’ve seen this coming. Especially after she had remembered him the day it set everything out of pattern. Instead, he turned a blind eye. Out of pure ignorance? He wasn’t remotely sure anymore. All he knew was that she shouldn’t be like this.
She should be her stupid lively self, cracking jokes and sharing her stupid stories with him. Not laying there like a corpse.
“Ah...Chi-- Kai, sorry you caught me waking up from a nap. I’m sorry I don’t look more presentable...”
“Nonsense. Now, tell me what you’ve done today.”
“Straight to the point huh? Sometimes I wonder how you’d ever date anyone.”
Though weak, the teasing tone she held in her voice was one that added more weight to his chest as he seated himself in what she declared the ‘(y/n)’s best friend’s chair’. A stupid name if you asked him, but he wouldn’t tell her that.
And like that, she spoke of her day, simple tasks and duties she’s done during her stay at the hospital while Kai listened to her as the best friend she claimed he was.
As for the new name basis, Kai couldn’t tell anyone when it picked up. All he knew was that it didn’t piss him off as much as it should’ve.
As the time neared for him to leave, she stopped him. A look of hesitance on her face as irritation seemed to grow on his own.
“What is it?”
“....Can I hold your face?”
“What?!”
“With gloves on!”
The statement caught him by surprise. Already he felt the disgusting voices in the back of his head whisper at him yet instead of acting on those voices he found himself mutely staring at her as she fumbled over her words.
All he could really pick out was the light blush that was on her cheeks. The spark of color that brought his feet towards her bedside as she stared up at him with shock in those (e/c) eyes.
“Tch. What are you waiting for?”
Caught off guard, she could only stare at him for a moment before giddily shifting herself to get off the bed. A noise of distaste left his throat at her motion as she merely rolled her eyes and shushed him as she went to fervently clean her hands before snapping on the gloves.
Yet as she did this he couldn’t help but feel the ache in his chest grow even more at the sight of her frail hands and the subtle appearance of a bruise around her wrist at her careless motion of snapping the gloves on. This was immediately forgone as she walked up to him, mindful to keep a distance before she hesitantly held her hands out in a flower cup motion.
At first, Kai had no idea what she was doing, but as he grew to analyze the situation-- as well as remember the odd videos and photos she decided to show him as she sought a sort of relationship herself-- he carefully put his chin into her hands. The hesitancy of her fingers brushing his cheeks pulled a new sort of fondness in his chest as he finally relaxed his cheek against her shy hand.
Golden eyes peered deeply into glimmering (e/c) as he watched her face light up with the most color he had see on her that day. Satisfied, he waited until she finally let go.
“...Thank you, Kai.”
“No problem.”
“No really...thank you...for everything.”
Unease quickly overtook the fondness in his heart as he straightened himself out. Confusion was clearly matted onto his features as he stared down at her.
“...Why are you saying that?”
“What? I can’t say what I want for once? You let me all the time so just let me say this too!”
Finding the whole situation uncomfortable, Kai made his way to the door once more. Though before he left he motioned with his head for her to get back into bed. In response, he got her usual snark as she stuck her tongue out before carefully getting back into bed.
“If you’re on good behavior tomorrow, I’ll have your doctor bring you that drink of yours.”
The light in her eyes was enough to satisfy him and his worries as she nodded quickly before giving him a mock salute as she excitedly got herself comfy in the bed.
“Alright, you promised Kai~!”
➽───────────────❥
“Who are you?”
It should’ve have hurt him as much as it did, but after 6 fucking months. 6 months of her being a daily part of his life where she did not forget him for a single moment came crashing down. The tremble that clutched tightly to his words as he re-introduced himself went unnoticed as he slowly made his way towards the lounge chair that was once considered to be (y/n)’s best friend’s chair.
“...My name is Chisaki Kai.”
“Oh! Hello Chisaki.”
He could tell she was straining with keeping up a happy front. Her appearance was frail. So delicate that he feared anyone who touched her would be the cause of her disappearing before his eyes. The drink he had requested for her sat innocently on the bedside table as she gave him a reassuring smile.
“It’s going to be okay...”
“...what?”
“You look...distressed, I wanted to just reassure you things will be okay.”
No they won’t. He wanted to scream it at her, that the rasp in her voice was punching holes into his gut. That the frail breathing she had was worse than his quirk being taken away from him.
And in that moment, they stayed in silence. Merely watching one another with mixed emotions before he broke back into the routine he once thought would be meaningless.
“...What did you do today?”
Her words, though slow, told him of a peaceful day. One with little adventures and many simple moments that he’s come to slowly appreciate in his own life.
Though as the hour of his leave came, he found it hard to get up from the chair. His feet staying practically cemented to the floor as he watched her peer out the window as the warm rays of the early evening sun cascaded over her. Much like it had that day he first saw her.
Forcefully pushing himself up from the chair, he made his way towards the door. Yet each step he took towards it the more the aching feeling in his chest grew as the fear of his last day in that room came to it’s due date.
“...Kai? Can you turn around for me...just once?”
The words caught him completely off guard as he turned to face her. Those eyes no longer were filed with guarded walls. Instead he was met with the face of (y/n). The woman he came to slowly adore within the past 6 months.
He didn’t even think. Instead he surged forward, practically bruising his legs at the force he decided to stop himself with. Though he didn’t care. The bruises be damned, she remembered him.
“...Can I hold your face? One more time? I promise I won’t ask again. I’ll even wear gloves!”
“...No need.”
The aching in his chest grew tenfold as he found it hard to speak. The overwhelming emotions that sat in his chest were ready to burst out of him. Though he wasn’t sure how. Instead he bent down slightly, finding her confused face even more endearing before he rolled his eyes.
“Well?”
“B-But...the hives---”
“I don’t care. Hurry the fuck up.”
Like that, the confusion vanished as she gently put her hands together in that familiar flower cup motion. Worry was clearly evident in her eyes as she looked at him, but before she could even question again he placed his chin into her awaiting hands. Already the prickly sensation of the hives began to pool as he could feel them form across his skin.
“K-Kai--”
“It’s fine. Shut up. You said you won’t ask again.”
“T-That’s true...”
“Tch. You can make it up to me by getting better so I can show you the world.”
“...when you’re not in prison anymore, right?”
“Right...”
It was hard to speak now. The lump that once was in his stomach had traveled to his throat as he watched her warm (e/c) glisten with unshed tears as she gently caressed his cheeks, ever so mindful of his hives as she tried to at least move her hands. Instead, the male pressed himself further into her touch as the tears began to fall. If anyone noticed the strain in his voice, they didn’t mention it.
“...If you’re gonna be greedy that do what you’ve been wanting to do you romantic obsessed moron.”
With that, she shifted forward before pressing a sweet kiss to his forehead as the tears came down harder. The lump in his throat making it almost unbearable to talk.
“...Thank you Kai...thank you so much for these six months...”
“.....”
“Don’t forget me...okay?”
“Idiot...as if I could even forget the one dumbass that made me breakout after my imprisonment.”
A weak laugh was given as she finally pulled away. With her eyes rimmed red, she shifted to make a call for a nurse, though that was cut short as Kai surprisingly climbed into her bed. No words were exchanged as she reluctantly shifted herself down into the bed-- though it did take time, she managed to curl herself in a way where she left distance between them.
“...aren’t you supposed to go?”
Featherlike and faint, he strained to hear her as he shifted himself down to properly face her as he melted in her (e/c) gaze. The slow dimming of life in her eyes was enough to tell him that it was time. However, he refused to believe it. If anything he’d find her awake the next day with that silly smile on her face. Yet even as he thought about this, the tears that he once thought were impossible for him, slowly began to stream down his cheeks as he nestled himself closer to her.
“....one day won’t kill them.”
“...mmm...”
“....go to sleep angel, I’ll be right here...”
“...and...you’ll be next to me?”
“...always.”
➽───────────────❥
Patient Name: (y/n) (l/n) Chisaki Quirk: Amnesiac
Time of Death: 6:05PM
#bnha x reader#mha x reader#overhaul x reader#kai chisaki x reader#chisaki kai x reader#chisaki x reader#mha scenarios#bnha scenarios#mha imagines#bnha imagines#chisaki angst#we about to drop more angst in this bish#i know i should be working on wips and requests but i can't help it ksksksk
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kalopsia; s. wb + reader + k. ty
pairing: seo woobin + reader + kim taeyoung
genre: angst, fluff, hanahaki au
word count: 10.4k
warnings: blood, hospital visit, light cursing, mentions of sickness, death, anxiety, and alcohol/drinking
summary: in each passing day that you grew fonder of taeyoung, more petals would come out of your lips. your heart, a garden of the most beautiful flowers, only that it was also a reminder of your unrequited love. and with the withering petals, woobin can't bear to simply watch.
-- video teaser; story playlist; masterlist; taglist form 🥀
a/n: my longest fic so far! aaaa this is for a fic exchange with the amazing @arieswonjin. ilysm <3 i enjoyed writing this a lot and i hope we can do more exchanges in the future! also, special thanks to @starrycrvty who helped me with the editing process and cheered me up while i was losing a braincell in the development of the scenes. you’re awesome and ily. <3
hope you will enjoy this ride. send me feedback through my ask/reblogs! i’ll appreciate it a lot :>
taglist: @bunnyseongmin
[ will edit this again in the future; ]
regardless of how the day was already ending, flowers seemed to not lose their vibrancy. whenever a gust of air blew by, it would dance along with the wind’s melody. you took a breath, the floral scent easing your body which was probably hugged with nothing but fatigue out of the ruthless writing sessions you gave yourself for hours.
a mélange of colors in the sky; the red hue engulfing the orange tint. it was funny how despite that war of colors, in the end, the sky will turn pitch-black with scattered twinkling stars.
sure, spring was one of the most beautiful seasons. but that small amount of fondness for the aforementioned season will never be enough to make you want to experience it for the whole year. life played favorites though— it was spring for you all year round.
you smiled to yourself, trying to shrug off the thought. good thing you weren’t in your room and the sidewalk wasn’t the quietest place to be at during this hour. it offered a space for distractions. most shops were closing, students were to go home from long hours of studying, workers with a weariness that yours couldn’t match walking to hubs for some sort of leisure activities. if you were in some kind of company work, you’d probably be in the same position. going for a drink or two with friends after working hours. but well, you weren’t.
instead of a bustling office requiring formal attire; you were usually in your pajamas, musing about life and writing about it through means of prose and poetry. a young published author who was known for having a great appreciation for flowers. in a few months, another book will be launched under your name. its spine holding all the papers inked by your love, not for flowers or anything else, but for a childhood friend who seemed to not have taken notice of the flower that began growing in your lungs— a rose.
reaching the convenience store, you contemplated which instant food would serve as your dinner tonight. ordered food seemed to have bored out your taste buds, a little change was needed. and to say, probably a more unhealthy choice. maybe a dosirak would do or a kimbap and peel sausage.
as you were to enter, a call of your name put your feet to a halt. you turned to look at the speaker. “oh hey, woobin?”
a weak smile graced his lips, opening the door for you. he spoke after the both of you had entered the store. “tired of ordered meals?”
“kind of,” you replied, a sigh punctuating your words. you walked up to the aisle of dosirak. the sight of it made you swiftly cross it out of your options. you wanted something else. “how about you?”
“craved for ice cream,” answered woobin who, unlike you, had made his mind in settling with a pint of almond ice cream.
grabbing some triangle kimbaps, you looked at him with a raised brow. “wouldn’t that harm your ever so majestic voice?”
if you made money through books, woobin earned his through singing. it ranged from covers to original song compositions. he was quite popular with all the ballad songs he covered that without a lie was a heart-melter. if home and serenity would be defined using a voice, woobin’s would be the perfect definition for it.
“not really.” a chuckle was heard from him as he watched you grab a cup of instant ramyun. “well, wouldn’t that harm your ever so wonderful brain?”
you shook your head but laughed at the remark. woobin had been your friend for quite a long time, probably one of the closest. light and playful banters seemed to have become a part of your usual talks.
walking towards the counter, you settled your items which the worker scanned quickly. the amount flashed by the small screen, and you pulled your wallet out to pay. woobin followed shortly.
“a healthy alternative after ice cream?” you asked, noticing a herbal medicine pouch being placed in his bag.
woobin hunched his shoulders up, and proceeded to go out of the store.
a soft breeze welcomed you as you stepped out. the sidewalk was no longer as busy as it was earlier and the sky was losing its colors bit by bit as if the flickering lights in the queued lampposts were sucking it all.
“so how is it coming out?” woobin asked as he walked beside you. your apartment and his were only a few blocks away. his apartment was inside a street, away from the main road filled with noises coming from horns and speeding cars, while yours was in a complex near the road. you liked watching people from up the balcony, it was like watching a film, only that everything that was happening was real and only the made-up dialogues of the strangers were sheer fiction.
“minor editings left,” you replied. “also, next week the possible art for the cover will be out. want to check it out with me?”
he didn’t reply right after as if he was mentally checking his schedule, weighing if he was free or not. though his answer indicated that the things he had to do had flexible deadlines. “sure, just tell me when.”
“i’ll call you once they message me about it.” a cough ended your sentence, you covered your mouth as you did so. something smooth touching your palm. it was happening… again.
“are you alright?” concern evident on woobin’s face, he went closer to you. his hand on your back, rubbing circles to ease your coughing.
but he was aware it would not be enough to stop it. a rub or any sort of medicine wouldn’t stop it. like how will those be enough to stop a flower from blooming in your lungs?
it was the reason why even though you admired the beauty of spring, you also disliked it.
flowers were in full bloom during spring. the way each petal was colored was pleasing to the eye. however, such beauty should have just stayed where they were supposed to be. on the ground, decorating the world with its vibrant color. it should only be there instead of clinging onto someone's lungs after failing to get their love returned.
hanahaki, a disease that causes someone to cough up flower petals when their love is one-sided.
there were different stages of it. at first, it was only a mere cough. something one would mistake for a regular cough. until petals come along with it on the next stage. followed by a mix of blood, acute chest pain, and shortness of breathing in the last.
two ways to resolve it. either undergo a surgery which will cost a fortune at the risk of wiping out not only your emotions but also the memory of all people you are close with or have your love reciprocated. inability to obtain any of the mentioned cures will result in the most unfortunate event. no more pain from the flower sprouting in your chest. no ache, coming from the bitter taste of being reminded every single night that your love wasn’t reciprocated— death.
“i’m alright.” it took quite a while before your coughing subsided. you were sure petals were already accumulated on your hand. bringing your hand down, you let go of the red petals. luckily, no blood. but you didn’t expect less. this disease had been giving you restless nights lately, worsening and worsening.
a sigh left woobin’s lips as he shook his head. “that’s not the look of someone alright for me.”
the rest of the walk was silent. woobin insisted on walking you home, to which you had no power to decline. even if you told him no, he still ended up doing so.
by the time you reached the front of your unit, night had already won the clash in the sky. the stars glimmering above at their triumph.
“don’t work up until late,” woobin reminded.
you smiled, wishing you could tell him that it wasn’t the writing that made you get less rest every evening. it was the rose that inhabited your lungs. “i will not.”
“here,” said woobin, handing you the bag of the things he bought earlier.
the ice cream was no longer of its same form as it was earlier. its mist soaked the insides of the plastic bag. “and why are you giving it to me?”
“just take it. you know in movies heartbroken people would eat ice cream as they mope around.”
the lighthearted remark made you laugh. woobin had his ways to make you feel better. “and what about the medicine?”
“you’re probably sad, but that won’t mean that you should not take care of yourself.” he was aware of your feelings for someone else. he was aware of the red roses in your chest. he was aware that your feelings weren’t reciprocated.
“makes sense.” you flashed him a smile, scrambling on your bag to take out one of the triangle kimbaps. the item tossed to his direction which he caught smoothly. “take that at least.”
“well, thank you?” he gazed at the food you gave him before returning the smile. “have a good night, y/n. call me if you need anything.”
you hummed as a response, watching woobin make his way to the stairs, descending afterward. another gust of wind passed by and you rushed to go inside. staring at the now melted ice cream, you shook your head. a laugh escaping your lips as you closed the door.
how long has it been? you thought.
collapsing on the bed, you stared at the ceiling. the coughing had already stopped, yet the burning pain in your chest remained.
what was the flower again?
a rose?
maybe the stabbing ache was caused by its thorns that came to hug your lungs. you sighed as if that would altogether pull out the suffocating sensation— of course, it wouldn’t. it would never.
a curt beep on your phone pulled you out of your cloudy thoughts, reaching for it to read the notification. a message from one of your friends which read,
it’s your debut book’s first anniversary today! congrats, y/n.
for a moment, your lips curled into a faint smile, so weak that it didn’t even last for a minute. sending a quick reply to show gratitude over the thought, you allowed yourself to drown over the same thoughts.
that book with inked poetry all meant to deliver a single message— your feelings for taeyoung. the words laced in each rhyme was a cover of the affection you had for him, and the petals you cough each night was his answer.
a childhood friend who you used to be neighbors with. he still lived under the comforts of his parents’ home, while you moved to live alone in an apartment, desperately seeking independence.
or maybe seeking for a way to not see his face every single day and be reminded that his favorite flower, a rose, had been blooming in your lungs.
the brightness taeyoung had never seemed to fade, his smile still carried sunlight of its own. a contagious one that would make anyone have the same smile (but maybe not as bright). his bubbliness was a comfort. whenever around him, the butterflies causing chaos in your stomach would make you forget about the evening ache he was subconsciously bringing.
taeyoung, ever since you were young, loved books and flowers. you preferred other things though, but somehow you found yourself conforming to what he liked. being the person you spent most of your time with, his interest became yours. whenever he would tell you about something he became inclined to, you would check it as quick, forcing yourself to like it. it was a repeated action that was implanted as a habit. in the process of trying to be his ideal person, your own identity was thrown away. a trap filled with nothing but thorns of his favorite flower.
shifting to your side, your eyes landed on the wall just above your working table. photographs of roses were stuck on it, along with verses other people might find painfully beautiful. you knew your words better though. its beauty was a mere delusion. hiding behind the pretty words were ugly cries— your reality.
another cough, a petal escaping from your lips. it danced in the air as it was freed, only to meet the cold floor of your room. with flowers blooming in the chest, you closed your eyes drifting to sleep. the pain no longer mattered as it was the usual sensation.
a soft instrumental had taken over your apartment. the sun was already up, its light filtering through the blinds. your potted plants were probably thankful for its generosity. you took a sip of your coffee, staring at the few words written in the new document reserved for a new manuscript. writing, or at least conceptualizing the main theme, of your next book was your top priority today. however, the continuous notifications coming from your close peers dragged you out of your bubble every single time.
with you celebrating the first anniversary of your debut book (which basically marked the day of your debut as a published writer), receiving messages was plain inevitable. your editor even asked if you’d be up for a drink later this night. an offer you turned down. silence and alone time this evening were everything you craved for.
putting your laptop on rest, you grabbed your own copy of withered roses, your book. it was silly how you decided to have perfectly blooming and lively roses as its cover when it contained the very title, your own withered roses hiding through beautiful verses.
flipping through the pages, you stopped on a certain poetry. undeniably, one of your favorites. it was one of the first poems that you wrote for this collection. grabbing a paper and a pen, you scribbled the words down, the same words still describing your situation perfectly. and maybe that was the reason why your condition was worsening.
you stuck the paper on the wall, just beside a photograph of a blue rose. for a moment, you stared at it, smiling at the words as if those were some kind of lost friends who rekindled with you. you smiled as if those were something that you should be smiling at.
three doorbells and a few knocks. a heavy sigh came out of your lips, tearing your eyes away from the poem. slow steps towards the door, the person on the other seemed rather impatient for the doorbell continuously made a sound. it was enough for another breath to escape the confines of your mouth.
swinging the door open, your eyes widened. the sight penetrating quickly to your senses and the sensation you hated the most overpowering you, your heartbeat loud. really loud. “taeyoung?”
for him to be able to give you the most wonderful feeling of warm cheeks and butterflies and still be able to poison you using his favorite flower lethal to your body, you wondered when it would end.
“it’s withered roses’ first anniversary!” his smile was a band-aid, too fleeting of a cure for you. he lifted a pot of cycnoches orchids, something that was probably from his parent’s flower shop. “here’s a gift for you.”
“thank you.” as he handed you the pot, you gave him enough space to enter your unit. placing it just beside the other plants you had, all coming from their shop, you turned to look at taeyoung. a pout appearing in your countenance. “you should have brought food.”
taeyoung scratched his head at your sudden words, a sheepish smile curving on his lips. “well, we can order.”
at the sight of a slightly flustered taeyoung, a string of laughter became your immediate response. “i was kidding.”
you went back to the couch to sit with taeyoung following you shortly. the music playing in your room had long ago stopped, something you only noticed after taeyoung came. after your awareness came to hug you once again.
his eyes wandered as if it was his first time in your unit. it was definitely not his first visit, to count how many times he’d been there was also impossible. just like how you frequented their flower shop, he was usually in your unit as well. maybe it was due to him being used to your company. childhood friends, former neighbors— inseparable, but in a manner that went nothing beyond romantic feelings. at least to his side.
glancing at him, you followed where his gaze was fixated on. it was focused on the wall that held photographs of roses and the poem you scribbled earlier from your book.
“wasn’t that the eighth poem in your book?” intrigued, he looked at you with a brow raised.
you didn't have to meet his gaze. a smile slowly crept out of your visage. it didn't hold an emotion though, more like a simple forced curve. "it is."
"i love it." it was a genuine remark, but somehow, instead of giving you a warm feeling, it did the opposite. standing up, he reached for the paper, detaching it from the wall. the words slipping out of his tongue as he read it out loud.
heat-haze;
sunrays visible at the nighttime daydream
under the cloud of deep distance
built a sensation of unrequited affection
innumerable actions--
satisfied, captured by mere existence.
nevertheless, the heart was jinxed
in a presence,
a love,
i cannot withdraw from.
as the final four lines were uttered, he looked at you in the eyes, a hint of gloom clouding his misty orbitals. he had the poem memorized, but it was only the words he had carved in his mind. the feelings sealed with it, unnoticed.
taeyoung was the reason why you began writing. a simple comment of his saying that you would make a good author and your words were all prettily laid out made you want to write.
or perhaps it was not the writing you were chasing for, rather the speaker who told you that he wished to see more of your writing.
for others, writing could be a form of escape. to be under a little spell that would pull someone out of their reality. you wished you were the same. you wished your writing wasn't your reality.
anywhere you go, you were surrounded by your reality. the potted plants you should not be taking care of if it wasn't for his interest in plants and flowers. the book that was published a year ago and the soon to be published one. the colors that accented your unit which he said was such a relaxing palette. the words in your head. the flower in your chest. it was the reality made out of nothing but the person you loved.
“wait.” taeyoung’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. he was peering over petals of red roses that were on your table.
it seemed like you forgot to clean it up earlier. well, you didn’t expect anyone to actually go to your house. such a realization was thought late.
“were you playing with roses?” taeyoung asked, frowning as he looked at it.
you’d consider that a stupid question, but taeyoung didn’t know a thing about your condition so you let it pass. there was no way in hell you’d tell him about it now. not yet. “yes.”
“so how was it?” the excitement and giddiness leaking in his tone as he plopped down next to you on the couch didn’t help. what was he even referring about? your hanahaki disease? what? as if hearing your question, he clarified his query, “does he love you?”
ah, the popular he loves me, he loves me not.
there was no need for that though, the petals you vomit each night was a clear answer. you smiled, leaning back to get seated more comfortably. “he doesn’t.”
the way those two words left your lips surprised you. no hint of hurt, sadness, or anything— it was laced with a calm tone as if retreating, surrendering, accepting. will it really be your fate?
taeyoung sighed, the smile he once had melting away. “don’t worry, it’s just a silly game anyway. the person you love probably loves you too.”
you turned to look at him. a mistake. kind eyes met yours, reassuring you of something you had already known for so long was false. there was no need to hang into that ray of hope when you were aware that it was not the case.
eyes glossy with the tears that never dared to fall, you offered him a tight-lipped smile. “thank you.”
he grinned, which you assumed was out of relief before he looked at your wall once again. “why use roses though? there are other flowers out there.”
“well, isn’t it the first flower you’d think of when you hear the word love?” you replied. “it means a lot more depending on its color, but in simple terms, it just means love and romance.”
“you seem to know a lot about it,” he remarked, not tearing his gaze away from the photograph. “why blue out of all colors?” he asked referring to the photograph you had on your wall.
“it stands for an impossible miracle.” a clear depiction of your situation. no word followed that sentence, and good thing taeyoung didn’t ask any further about why. maybe it was due to his perception that poetry writers had other symbolism hidden behind their verses, even when there was nothing and the message was just in front of their readers.
“roses are wonderful, aren’t they?”
not when they are blooming in your chest. not when its thorn embraces your lungs. not when it suffocates you. your thoughts were loud in your head. but you knew you can’t blame it for inhabiting your body. you can’t even have taeyoung blamed for it either. it was the universe’s fault for laying such a disease in humanity. “they truly are.”
“it’s my favorite,” taeyoung mused.
there was a smile that sat on your lips, a peck of gloom decorating its corners. “i know.”
how could you not when its petals were the ones that kept on coming out of your lips every evening?
a ringing coming from a device shattered the silence in your apartment. but this time, it wasn’t from yours. it was from taeyoung who was now about to leave your unit, his parents had called him to go and do his tasks in the flower shop. seemed like he had forgotten about it, considering that he’d been with you for almost an hour.
“take care and have fun for the rest of the day!” taeyoung ruffled your hair and left. his touch lingering.
your room suddenly felt empty. as if taeyoung had taken all the vibrancy it had after stepping out of it. taeyoung was your paradox— a home that housed nothing but emotions you shouldn’t regard as home, but you did. he was your home.
you coughed, a petal threatening to escape. the windpipe blocked, your chest tightening. a sorrowful smile was your only answer to the ache that was resurfacing. your gaze didn't falter, still locked on the photograph of the blue rose. to no one in particular, few words were whispered, “they are beautiful.”
“remind me again why i’m here with you?” woobin looked at the almost empty store; sleepwears displayed from the first showcase up to the last rack. it was a week after the first anniversary of your book, things had seemed to tranquil much more.
shopping during the working hours on weekdays was certainly one of the best things. the absence of people led to different advantages like having no long queue to the cashier, no people to deal with as you browse the clothes, and overall just serene shopping.
you didn’t mind it when a salesperson would go and ask you about what type or design you were looking for, they were probably getting bored having to stand for a long time and entertain just a few passing potential customers. the mall’s theme song was playing from a distant speaker, almost inaudible and muffled by the sweet piano music playing in the shop itself. keeping it up to the theme of the shop, if there was a bed in there, you’d probably be brought to sleep right after. something you weren’t sure to consider as a good aspect or bad aspect of the clothing store.
“well, you just finished posting another wonderful cover which hit a hundred thousand views in an hour, we must celebrate, right?” you replied as you picked up a pair of pastel plaid pajamas, checking the fabric quality to which you quickly marked as spandex.
woobin reached for the design next to what you picked up, eyeing it with less interest than you had. “but why are we buying pajamas?”
“because i need it.” a chuckle was heard from you after he let go of a sigh at your words. you stepped closer to him, peering over his shoulder to check the design he was checking.
“by the way,” he began, not wanting to ask more as he was aware of your love for comfortable clothes (pajamas being the top of it along with sweaters and hoodies). “i’m applying for a job in this pharmaceutical company located in another town as a medicinal chemist.”
“oh? the one you mentioned before?” you watched him go through another set of sleepwear.
it was a sudden reminder that before being known as the seo woobin who sang various songs in innumerable gigs and had built a name in the music side of youtube, he was the seo woobin who excelled in his major, organic chemistry. for years of him not applying for an actual job as a chemist anywhere and pursuing his dream career, that fact was swept out of your mind.
you met woobin in one of your electives— a chemistry class that you would probably have to retake only if he didn’t help you out. the limited slots in language classes were the ones you put your blame on, but it wasn’t completely that bad. after all, you had ended up making a good friend in the class you despised the most.
“are you going to quit singing?” worry was painted all over your face which earned a soft amused laughter from woobin. you adore his singing a lot, the comfort his mellifluous voice could bring was distinct, something you’d grown ever so fond of.
“you know, i just want to put my degree into proper use.” woobin smiled reassuringly as he tossed you a set of pajamas with the design he guessed was what you were searching for, the one with doodled roses decorating it from bottom to the top. “kind of had the urge to get a secured job.”
the clothing dumped to you went unnoticed as you fired off another question. “what about the album deal? i thought you already had one. what’s going to happen with that?”
“i will still sing.” there was no need to doubt woobin’s calm tone as he said those words. “don’t worry about it. i love singing and i’ll not stop doing it.”
“make sure to.” you walked towards another rack, finally noticing the pajamas woobin had thrown in your way earlier. staring at it for a moment, the initial thoughts about the flower easily came into your head. “this one’s cute. i’ll take it.”
unconvinced, woobin raised a brow at you. “are you sure you found it cute or there’s another reason behind you liking it?”
the other reason he was pertaining to was clear, enough to become a slap rather than a mere reminder. do you really like it or do you simply want the person you like to notice you for having something close to their favorite thing?
feeling lost to your own set of likes seemed like a normal thing. mind plagued with taeyoung’s interests that it mattered more than yours. at this point, you weren’t sure if you were doing it for him to like you back and finally get the fuzzy feeling of being loved back or you were simply desperate to stop the flowers from budding in your chest.
“i like it,” you answered after a long while of spacing out. you even nodded your head as if trying to convince yourself from a statement you weren’t sure whether to label as a lie or a truth.
“if you say so.” an indistinct sigh came across woobin, subtly shaking his head in disbelief. he didn’t go deeper into the topic though, instead uttered some words that made a bright smile grace your lips. “go and choose whichever you want. it’s on me today.”
wearing the new pair of a loose shirt and pajama, you gazed at your reflection. a curve spotted on your lips, satisfied with the new purchase. demeanor dropping as a familiar sensation crawled up to your senses. the calm night was taken aback when your chest began tightening. a petal quickly rising, stuck on your throat afterward as you tried to hold it in. however, it was a failed attempt. the urge strong that you had to run towards the bathroom to release all the petals of the vivid red rose that nurtured in your body, watered with nothing but unreturned affection.
just like any other night, the sickness came to do its visit. its terrible reminder playing in your mind. the blood that mingled with the petals was hard to discern as they were colored in the same hue; it tasted different though.
a ringing in your head as your vision started to blur, not noticing how tears had formed in your eyes as the pain emerged to be stronger than it usually was. the intensifying ache wasn’t the only one that made your tears fall. all your unnoticed efforts, regardless of how big they were, were the ones that brought salty tears. your knees buckled, allowing you to meet the ground unceremoniously. it was getting harder to breathe and the cold bathroom tiles were your only company.
it was a twisted melody. in each cough, petals would escape. it didn’t even take a long time for you to be surrounded by a sea of red petals. what a sickening view, you thought. how do people regard roses as something so beautiful?
a memory.
“dear, taeyoung is outside, waiting for you.” a few knocks on the door accompanied your mother’s call.
it was a hot summer, the sun giving no mercy with its ray as if angry with how it was neglected during the cold seasons. with a few remaining days before the start of a new quarter, you probably had spent most of your time in your room. oftentimes will you go out only at the call of a childhood friend.
“y/n.” as if stepping out of your thoughts, taeyoung had your name wrapped by his cheerful voice. “mom made homemade ice cream. come on, get out of your room already.”
if your own mother wasn’t able to pull you out of your room, taeyoung was. your feet quick to move as you checked on your reflection by the mirror, practicing a smile and some silent dialogues. all to which you weren’t really able to show when you opened the door. a faint blush crept on your cheeks as soon as your gaze landed on the bright smile taeyoung had on his own. butterflies flew free in your stomach, heart pounding.
maybe it was the way taeyoung would talk to you with an unmatched enthusiasm even if your words make no sense. maybe it was because of the vibrancy he had all around him that simply could bring comfort to anyone he was with. maybe it was due to the fact that he had been with you since you were a kid.
or maybe it was just because he was him, kim taeyoung, that your crush began budding as a love. and as soon as it did, his favorite flower, a rose, was caught in your lungs during middle school.
occupied by the sensation, your mind didn’t attend to the continuous doorbells ringing in your apartment. in a few, the door was opened, rushed footsteps along with your name uttered in sheer concern echoed in your unit. with the air knocked out by the relentless flower, from red your vision turned pitch black.
when dusk fell, woobin was already in the hospital with a drink in his hand, which was meant to be given to you. he’d been going back and forth to the hospital and his apartment to bring you food and some other items you needed.
the scene he witnessed last night was still fresh in his mind, the panic lingering. on your cold bathroom floor, you laid unconscious with petals of roses surrounding your figure. he was swift to get help, which ended up with you having to stay for almost a day in the lonely ward. your room making you feel sicker.
“oh, you’re back?” serim, the head nurse and a close friend of woobin, said as he walked towards the other.
woobin nodded, tracing the track he’d been stepping into since this morning. it was as if he could easily go to your room even with eyes closed. serim followed from behind and before he could say a word, woobin had already found your room empty. finally, he offered the nurse attention. “where’s y/n? already discharged?”
“yes, they just went to talk with their doctor for a few more reminders.” serim shook his head disapprovingly. “they should stay longer, but they seem like a very busy person.”
“y/n should just follow their doctor.” a sigh punctuated woobin’s sentence.
“and you should too,” said serim.
woobin began walking his way back to the nurse station reception to wait for you. “my case is different.”
“you’re slowly losing your voice because of your own sickness.” serim’s sigh was way heavier than woobin’s, his orbitals painted with worry. being one of woobin’s closest friends, he knew all about it. “orchids are blooming in your lungs, how are you different?”
a glare was darted to serim’s direction which became woobin’s sole reply since they both saw you approaching them. serim hunched his shoulders up, shaking his head once again before walking away.
“thank you for taking care of me,” you told woobin who handed you the drink he bought outside.
“of course,” woobin said, leading the way out.
there weren't a lot of people in the lobby. only a few were there, either the nurses turning for their night shifts or the relatives of those people staying in the hospital for the night.
“it’s getting worse, isn’t it?” woobin’s words slowed down your pace, your head turned to him as he continued. “shouldn’t you start trying to move on and finding someone who can actually love you back?”
“what do you mean?”
woobin shrugged. “it seems like it’s the only way for you to be properly healed.”
yes, moving on and falling for someone else was a considered cure as well. a change of feelings could remove the flower naturally. but doing so was easier said than done.
a sad smile became evident on your brim. how could you do that? you thought. “i can’t just fall in love with someone like it’s nothing, woobin.”
“give me a chance then.”
woobin’s words were powerful enough to make your feet stop from moving, to catch your breath and make it halt. it can’t be. you looked at him confused, wishing that you misunderstood what he said. you wished that it would be his regular sentences as he tried to make you feel better. you wished what you were thinking was a mere thought, an idea, a false gut feeling. “woobin?”
it was a question that didn’t need any elaboration. the simple call of his name with such perplexed tone was enough as a query. the same gloomy smile on his lips matched what you had earlier, accompanied by his faint chuckles. “yes,” to your horror, he confirmed. he let go of a breath, something that gave him a boost to finally utter the words he’d been meaning to say. “i’m in love with you and all i want is for the flowers in your chest to stop blossoming.”
“that means…”
to experience the same thing you had been experiencing. to give someone the same taste of your suffering. to plant a flower in someone’s chest and water it every day as you were failing to return their provided affection. it was something you didn’t wish to do, an extremely unfavorable idea which reminded you of how the universe had been unfair from the very start.
“yes, and they aren’t beautiful.” a tight-lipped smile became apparent on his countenance as he stared at the glass doors of the hospital. a few more steps and both of you will be out of the place the two of you frequented on different days, but for the same means— a fleeting cure for the ache caused by hanahaki. “the pain we’re both carrying out of unrequited love. it isn’t beautiful, y/n.”
a lump in your throat stopped any possible reply from coming out of your lips. you wanted to apologize, but an apology from taeyoung wasn’t the thing you’d want to hear from him after you confess and you assumed such wouldn’t give comfort to woobin as well. an apology wouldn’t be enough when you were already striping away someone with their lives.
rather untimely, the door opened, revealing taeyoung. he was holding a basket of flowers, probably for some kind of delivery. with hinted concern, he walked towards you and woobin. “what are you doing here?”
“stomach ache.” regardless of your mangled thoughts, it was a surprise that you were able to respond as soon. it was as if such sickness was a practiced lie.
“is that so?” taeyoung looked at woobin to confirm and the older just nodded not wanting to speak more. he turned to you, his worry dropping a few levels, but was still obvious. “let me just bring this flower to a friend and i’ll walk you home. will that be alright?”
you looked at woobin, silently asking if he would be okay with that. it was such a silly act, of course, he would be against it. but what can he do? just like him, the person you had grown fond of hasn't reciprocated your feelings yet. both of you probably wishing the same thing— for the flowers to wither and be gone. for the restless nights to end. to be loved back. the only difference was woobin was so focused on you that he had forgotten about his condition which was worsening at the same rate as yours.
he patted your shoulder. “sure, i need to head somewhere else anyway. get home safely?”
“i will, you too, woobin.” you gave woobin a smile, guilt sitting in your stomach which was continuously twisting.
woobin weakly mirrored the feature before turning his back to you and taeyoung. as he was stepping out of the establishment, he looked at the twinkling stars, hoping this night would be kinder. but he was certain he’d be the one coughing out orchids tonight, probably worse than your roses.
the stars from above watched you and taeyoung walk on the now empty sidewalk. even without the illumination coming from the lampposts, it was all so bright. all in gratitude for the moon which served as a ball of shining light in the clear night sky.
"you've been sick since we were kids, but you never told me what with." taeyoung broke the silence, uncertain if he should go further. “was it really because of stomach ache earlier?”
a chill ran down your spine, making you inwardly shiver. that wasn’t the talk you were so ready to face. and after what happened last night, you can’t simply bring another lie. however, telling taeyoung everything wasn’t something you planned to do as well. afraid that rejection would become the final straw.
taeyoung stopped dead on his tracks, looking at you with nothing but sheer concern. “is there anything bothering you?”
you gave him a smile which was obviously forced. “don’t worry about it.” you urged him to continue to walk and he did, but just as you thought that you were already safe from his questions, he asked another.
“it’s not a stomach ache wasn’t it?” hands on his back, his gaze was fixated on the road. “what was it, y/n?”
maybe it was time to tell taeyoung about it? maybe— “hanahaki.” the words subconsciously slipped out of your tongue.
“what?” surprised by the mention of the disease, his eyes were wide when he whipped his head to your direction. “you mean… your love is unrequited?”
taeyoung was quick to catch the gist of the disease. it was pretty much a popular sickness that had probably made some of his other friends suffer. the only thing he wasn’t quick to get was… who your feelings were for.
“woobin doesn’t like you back?” he asked, snapping you out of your thoughts which was purely of practicing the possible explanations if he ended up recognizing your feelings for him. and apparently, he didn’t.
it was your turn to shoot him a look. “what?”
“don’t you like woobin?” he averted his gaze and it trailed back to the road. “i mean the two of you seem like really close friends and you’re together most of the time.”
you didn’t know whether you should be relieved or not. but since you were still unprepared to offer any explanation, you just went with the flow. a bitter smile coming to your lips. your head had his name on your sentence, regardless of how you uttered another man’s name. “yes, i like woobin. but it seems like he doesn’t feel the same way.”
“maybe you should… try moving on?”
the way taeyoung suggested the same thing made you laugh, confusing the person beside you. to move on, huh? was that what the universe wanted you to do? to move on? a smile lingered on your visage, as you stepped on the stairs with taeyoung following you behind. it was just funny how he thought you were in love with woobin, when in fact the flower he adored the most was living in your lungs. that he was the person you were in love with, not any other person.
stopping at the front step, the worry that sat on his orbitals didn’t waver. the look asking if you’d be alright tonight— you already knew the answer. “take care, okay? if you need anything, just call me. good night.”
as soon as you closed the door, it began. the coughing that seemingly just waited for you to step into your unit came rushing. a petal waving in the air before meeting the ground. “i need your love, taeyoung. i badly need it.”
the smell of freshly done pancakes wafted up to your bed, a few noises coming from the kitchen followed. it was a gentle alarm that pushed you to wake up and get out of your bed. too groggy, a foot still on the dream you were having, you didn’t think that whoever was in the kitchen could be a thief or anything. well, who in their proper mind would cook food for the owner of the house if they were only to snatch things after?
a few days ago, you had an extreme case of hanahaki, something that led you to stay in the hospital overnight. after that, it had seemed to subside or at least be more gentle during the evening, resulting in more hours of sleep.
“woobin?” you called his name as you watched him turn off the stove, placing the fluffy pancakes onto a plate. there was already a hot chocolate ready for you to drink. you didn’t even question how he got inside. probably jungmo, the landowner, gave him the code to your room. oh, talk about privacy.
his smile was as warm as the morning sunrays. “good morning.” his voice was a little hoarse, normally you wouldn’t really pay attention to that. when he recorded songs too much in a day, he’d end up with such. but now that you knew he was experiencing hanahaki, a question hung in your head. was it because of the coughing? your thoughts dropped at the sound of his voice, still mellow regardless. “i’ve cooked you breakfast.”
“don’t you have work to do?” you asked, remembering how during the past days he’d been telling you about his new work— the slot in that pharmaceutical company as a medicinal chemist. you dragged a chair before occupying it, looking at him as he placed all the things he used in the sink. a curve became visible on your lips as your eyes fell to what he prepared. it was just pancakes, but it was woobin’s pancakes. he was such an amazing cook, you could vouch for that. “thank you by the way.”
“work? ah yeah.” he took the seat adjacent to yours, a cup of coffee in his hands. he grinned at you and you swore, your heart was in ultimate chaos when you heard his next words. “i took on the job of taking care of you for free starting today.”
sunlight filtered through the glass door of the flower shop, highlighting the wide variety of spring flowers. ranunculus, tulips, and calla lilies were all displayed along with other non-seasonal plants. there weren't a lot of customers coming, given that there were flowers available to be picked up in some public gardens. regardless, there were still a few who would come and get flowers arranged for some special occasions. but then again, it was just morning. it was rather too early to judge the possible count of customers later.
“jungmo’s coughing out petals now,” allen, one of the workers in the flower shop. said.
taeyoung looked at him, pausing his actions of tying a yellow ribbon in the bouquet of tulips. with a brow raised, he asked, “hanahaki?”
putting the freshly done arrangement of peonies, allen tapped on the counter which called the attention of the delivery man. he pointed out the card which contained the address and watched the other go out to deliver the item. dragging a stool to sit on, he stretched his arms. “seems to be. he’s coughing out petals of his crush’s favorite flower, crocus. i don’t think it’s a mere crush now though.”
“oh, so the flower that blooms in a body experiencing hanahaki would be the favorite flower of the person they like?” taeyoung asked as he finished the bouquet he was working on. he retrieved stems of roses and cut them nicely, removing the thorns and excess leaves.
“yes,” allen replied. “you like roses right?”
taeyoung only nodded, a memory alighting in his head. it can’t be—
“that means the person who likes you, but ends up with a one-sided love would end up having roses in their chest,” allen continued, causing taeyoung’s hand to stop from moving. the younger’s eyes fixated on the collection of red roses in his hands.
“it’s my favorite,” taeyoung mused.
there was a smile that sat on your lips, a peck of gloom decorating its corners. “i know.”
the flower growing in your chest was his favorite flower, roses?
it was him all this time?
right at that moment, there was one thing taeyoung would want to address himself as. an idiot. realizations came crashing to him like a powerful wave that held no mercy. it was ice cold, his body freezing at each thought that his mind welcomed.
the petals he found on your desk weren't there because of a silly game of he loves me, he loves me not. it was the petals you coughed out and forgot to clean.
“are you okay?” allen asked, momentarily snapping taeyoung out of his daze.
the twisting on taeyoung stomach was unbearable. his heart racing not with flutters, but rather with anxious thoughts. he was the cause of your pain?
with an almost inaudible voice, taeyoung let out of his horror. “y/n likes me.”
continuous taps on the keyboard, words appearing on the screen only for the flow to stop with punctuation. in sync, the doorbell rang. you no longer wondered who it was. it had always been him.
you stood up and shuffled towards the door, opening it before welcoming the male with a warm curve in your face. “it’s lunch already?”
woobin nodded, handing you a bag of still hot dishes he cooked probably not more than an hour ago. he followed you as you made your way to the dining area. when the male said he’d be taking care of you starting that specific breakfast, he stuck to his words, visiting you almost every day. the only exception was when he had to meet a producer. his own album was in the process of being finalized.
you placed the bag down and woobin walked towards your cupboard. where to find the things was already memorized. it was as if he was living in the very unit.
“so how’s your morning?” he asked as he placed two plates on the table.
“woke up a bit late, but i was able to finish the last set of poetry i’ve been meaning to write!” the spark in your eyes was a lot brighter than the past days. it was easily contagious as woobin found himself having the same amount of glee. “i’ll print the last parts and let you read, wait.”
woobin shook his head, a smile crossing his brim as he watched you go to your workspace to do what you said. as he finished setting up your lunch, he took a seat and waited for you. just like you, woobin was experiencing fewer symptoms. his voice was no longer that raspy and he was able to post new song covers almost every week regardless of his current busy schedule with other recordings.
“here!” with unwavering enthusiasm, you extended your hand for him to reach the printed papers. you sat on the seat across him, gazing at the food which only made your mouth water. eyes already feeding off the sight of the meat dishes.
“this is quite interesting,” woobin remarked. “is this the last one?”
you nodded at his words when he showed you the last page. “i figured that it could be the best way to end it.”
“it sure does.” woobin served you by putting meat on the top of your rice. “eat up.”
just like the past days, you enjoyed lunch with woobin. a few talks here and there, though most of the time the two of you were silent. not the terrible kind of silence, but a good one. something comforting. and maybe that kind of silence was all you needed.
after the meal, the two of you sat on the couch. the television served as background noise as you run down the things you have to do this afternoon.
“you seem to be happier the past days, did you get yourself another contract?” woobin asked once you were done telling him where to drive you today, the flower shop and to your editor’s place.
“i do?” you caught sight of the lone photograph of roses on your wall. the poetry that accompanied it once was now resting on your table. “i haven’t been coughing recently.” your cheerfulness evident when your eyes wrinkled into crescents as you turned your head towards the direction where woobin was sitting. “maybe he’s starting to like me!”
a soft beam hugged woobin’s visage, contented with the result you were having. for your own flower to stop blooming, that was all he wished for. his mind got him best though, speaking without much thought as he eyed the last poem you wrote once again. “or maybe you’re starting to like him less.”
blinking in confusion, woobin handed you back the printed papers you gave him earlier. it was on the last page. the words were probably a clear indication of your feelings.
zest gone.
pen dropped.
book closed.
lock kept.
no word
survived.
those words weren’t the most gleeful of words, but it carried freedom. something you’d been wishing you could get out of taeyoung’s labyrinth of roses. something you never knew would finally come to you.
“right?” woobin pulled you out of your own thoughts. “i’ve been coughing less as well and i can guarantee that you’re the only one i like.”
“that means…?”
“you’re slowly moving on, y/n.” woobin gave your head a light pat. his beam growing warmer as he looked at you. “you’re moving on.”
before going to the place where you were to meet your editor, you asked woobin to stop by the flower shop. knowing your editor, she’d probably love some dahlias and irises.
upon entering the shop, the same floral scent you had been accustomed to since you were younger embraced you. however, instead of taeyoung greeting you, the expression in his face— wide eyes after a gasp— was a little perplexing. you raised a brow at him, stepping closer to the counter with woobin following you from behind.
“dah—”
“can we have a moment?” taeyoung’s question interrupted your own set of words.
with a head tilted to the side, you didn’t make an effort to hide your confusion. the seemingly forced smile he had, which was quite too awkward for your liking was not a help at all. you turned to look at woobin, asking if it would be alright for him to wait. “will it be okay?”
“sure.” woobin shrugged, trying to act as nonchalant as he could. something he was successful in doing so. “i’ll buy you a drink while i wait. just send me a message if you’re done.”
“thank you, woobin.” and with those words said, you watched woobin leave the establishment. as soon as he did, your stomach sunk. there was no one else in the flower shop, it seemed like the other staff had already left.
taeyoung gestured to you to sit on an empty stool next to the counter, but you declined. instead, you leaned to it, urging him to speak what he wanted to talk about. he wasn’t the kind to be hesitant with such, but now, it was as if his tongue was tied in hundreds of knots and words can’t just be delivered.
“you’re experiencing hanahaki, right?” a stiff start. not only you, but taeyoung could feel how unnatural it sounded. no cheeky grins, no bright tone. it was flat and dripping with nervousness you weren’t aware taeyoung could be under the state of. “how are you?”
“i’m alright.” you chuckled at his words, letting loose of the already tensed atmosphere. as much as you were nervous for what was to come, you didn’t want it to spread on your formerly cheerful mood. “come on, taeyoung. i’m not going to be mad or anything.”
it partially helped taeyoung who had a small smile on his visage. but his eyes were still unable to meet yours as he locked his gaze on something else, the flowers healthily blooming inside the shop. “you were coughing out… roses, right?”
you hummed as a reply. finally taking the offer to sit. “yes, your favorite.”
“that means that you like me?” taeyoung took the seat next to your stool.
surprisingly, instead of worrying about how your little secret got figured out, you had an opposite feeling. you were relieved. there was no anxiety about him giving you the possibly worst rejection, no concern about how he could possibly shatter a thorned heart.
whatever made him realize such a thing, you were thankful. at least you no longer have to go through excessive explanations.
but there was something you would want to clarify.
“i used to like you a lot,” you said, giving an emphasis to the phrase: used to. a relieved sigh left your lips, satisfied with how everything was happening. it wasn’t as bad as you imagined. “you don’t have to worry now though, i’m gradually moving on.”
“still. you had to suffer from that for years,” he trailed. “i’m sorry.”
“it’s okay taeyoung.” your tight-lipped smile turned into a genuine one. the moment you shifted your gaze to look at taeyoung, you met his eyes. regardless of the pain it brought you, there was in no way you saw yourself blaming taeyoung. you liked him. and that summed it up. “your brightness was a blessing and never did i regret liking you despite the thorns and petals brought by it.”
his slightly soaked eyes were an indication of his former worry, which was slowly being washed away by a good amount of reassurance. “i’m glad.”
“you no longer have to worry about the roses, taeyoung.” stripping down the photographs on your wall for the past days, you replaced them with other photographs. you were sure the delusion was coming to an end. yes, the roses were indeed beautiful. but its thorn wasn’t as astonishing. “it’s withering.”
a stray tear slipped out of your eye and taeyoung didn’t only catch the tear, his arms were wrapped around you in such a warm hug. you were sure no petals would come out of your lips again. the warmth that embraced your body conveyed a closing home.
it’s time to move out and find a home that has no garden.
you no longer despised the spring. the beautiful flowers surrounding the town were no longer catching distasteful looks from you. your lungs free from spring. hand wrapped around woobin’s, the warm rays of the remaining afternoon sunlight filtered through the thick leaves of the trees the two of you would pass by.
another book was published, all containing the last words for your former muse. the title didn’t hide anything, quite an obvious choice: kalopsia.
three times a week you would go out for a book signing while woobin, now your boyfriend, would fetch you every time. he was busy himself with the recording of his album which was to be released by the end of the month. but he never missed going to the venue where your book signing would take place. by now, he probably had about nine signed copies of your book.
“you experienced hanahaki as well, right?” you asked woobin as you passed by a shop that had orchids hanging on the wall. petals of lush yellow, pink and purple decorating it.
woobin chuckled, taken aback by your unexpected question. “i did.”
“how was it?”
“it was weird. i mean coughing out petals so suddenly.” he looked at you, only to see your furrowed brows. something that made him laugh once again. “what do you expect me to answer?”
“that made you realize that you like me?”
“don’t be silly. even before the first petal left my lips, i knew i already liked you.” a contented smile graced his brim. even before that, the way his heart would thump in his chest as if it had run a marathon, the way a dumb smile would hang on his lips once he saw you, the way he would be subconsciously adoring you while you were busy writing, the way he wanted to be beside you, the way he wished to hold you closer— it all happened before a petal of orchid escaped the confines of his mouth.
a faint blush became apparent on your cheeks, giving it such a cute color. “and up until now you still like me…”
“correction, it’s liked. past tense,” woobin said, laughing at how your expression shifted. he took a big step and stopped right in front of you, he turned to face you with his hand still holding yours. “now, i love you.”
the weather wasn’t as hot since the sun was preparing for the twilight, but your cheeks were. it was accompanied by the wild flutters in your stomach. letting go of woobin’s hand (a reflex to hide how flustered his words got you), your ears were enveloped by his sweet, sweet chuckle. you walked past through him in such rushed footsteps, a peal of laughter escaping your lips as you did so. “i can’t believe you had to say that in that way.”
however, you were not even that far from him when woobin caught you. your steps halted when he locked you in a back hug, giving your cheek a light peck which simply made it more flushed. “i love you more than you’d ever know,” he carefully whispered to your ear.
you chuckled at the gestures, his words tickling you. regardless of how playful it seemed to be, you knew woobin was dead serious with it. he detached himself from you, only to hold your hand once more and walk beside you.
glancing at your interlaced fingers, you leaned your head to his shoulder. “i love you too, woobin.”
“i love you so much, y/n,” he replied, gently squeezing your hand.
to be able to look at the flowers without thinking about how they budded in your body, to rest every evening without worrying about the petals disrupting your serene night, to be right next to the person you love and loves you, there was nothing else you could wish for.
the flowers in your chest had long ago stopped blooming. it went the same way with woobin. but little did you know... orchids started blooming on someone else’s body, slowly growing on the chest of the person who once caused you to have roses hugging your lungs.
and just like how you first found those roses beautiful, taeyoung thought those orchids were too.
#cravity imagines#cravitywriters#cravity oneshots#cravity x reader#kpop imagines#seo woobin#kim taeyoung#woobin x reader#taeyoung x reader#cravity
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A Little Bit Part 16
Pairing: Billie Dean Howard x female reader
A/N: Happy Friday!!! It’s been a long week. Here’s the next chapter. Enjoy! This might be one of my favorite gifs by illuminated-blue.
Warnings: angst, mentions of assault and discussions about domestic violence
5 am arrives as quickly as you thought it would, and despite your insistence that you’d be able to go back to sleep, you find yourself still tossing and turning after Billie’s gone. She had actually woken up a little earlier than she needed to, and had snuck out of bed to get ready. She hadn’t wanted to disturb you, but once it was 6 and she really did need to leave, she wakes you up to say goodbye.
Billie kisses your forehead and your nose before you start to stir. You’d been deep in sleep, but the tickle you feel makes you realize that someone was trying to get your attention and you smile as you finally wake up. You yawn before opening your eyes to see Billie standing over you with a smile.
“Good morning, sleepyhead. I just wanted to let you know that I was leaving.”
You take a minute to look at Billie and your smile widens as you notice that she’s not nearly as dressed up as you thought she’d be. She looks good, as always, but your sleep-addled brain wasn’t working at full capacity yet. Not even half honestly.
“Good morning. You look cute. Is that what you’re wearing for the interview?”
Billie rolls her eyes at you before shaking her head. She mentions that she’ll change and all that once she gets to the studio and you just nod before you have to stifle another yawn. You go to sit up but Billie stops you with a hand on your shoulder.
“You should go back to sleep, Y/N. It’s still early.”
You sigh before nodding in agreement. You hadn’t really planned on getting up. You were just trying to get closer to Billie. You pout slightly as you shoot her a questioning look.
“Can I have another kiss before you go?”
Billie sighs as if it’s such a chore to do this for you before she leans in with a smile. She kisses your lips this time before pulling away and running a hand through your hair with a teasing look.
“I love your bedhead. Y/N.”
You groan in embarrassment as you hide under the covers and you attempt to fix your hair. It works about as well as you thought it would and you end up making it worse as you peek out at Billie from beneath the sheets. She just chuckles before checking her watch. She really needs to leave now.
“Billie.”
You whine pitifully as Billie just turns to leave the room. She smirks at you before waving as she disappears out the door.
“I’ll be back before you know it.”
You nod to yourself as you push your hair out of your face. You know it doesn’t matter now, but it’s actually bothering you. You speak up right before Billie leaves and she shoots you a grateful look before she’s gone.
“Okay, good luck, Billie.”
Instead of going back to sleep, you only manage to lie in bed underneath the covers for an hour. Milo was up and he was being good, but you were actually getting restless. You were nervous about how today would go for Billie despite your conversation last night. You sigh as you think about how nice it was to spend the night with Billie again. You may just be getting better, but you’d slept more soundly by the blonde’s side. You hope that this will continue because when you finally roll out of bed a little after 7, you’re feel better than you have in a while.
You yawn as you lead Milo out into the hallway before you realize how poorly dressed you are. It probably isn’t very cold, but you don’t know how long Milo will take and you don’t want to be caught wearing something too revealing. You retreat back into the bedroom, ignoring Milo’s whines, as you look around for something to wear. Billie’s closet is still open and you look inside to see if there’s something you could borrow. Just for your walk.
Milo’s whining starts getting louder and you hurry to grab something as you wave him off.
“Milo, I know. Just give me…”
The first thing you see is Billie’s sweatshirt, and you hesitate for only a second before grabbing it. You pull it over your head before pushing Milo off as he jumps on you. You can detect a hint of Billie’s perfume and shampoo mixed in the fabric, and you’re thrilled that it’s finally more soothing than off-putting. You walk out into the hallway and remind yourself to check on the kittens soon before heading downstairs. You are already thinking about what you’ll eat for breakfast as you grab Milo’s leash and lead him to the backyard. It’s not fenced in and you don’t want Milo out for too long, but as you walk outside and realize how cold it actually is you curse yourself.
You shiver slightly as you stand by Milo who’s peeing on a tree. You look around quickly and see nothing interesting before following Milo back inside. He’s excitedly panting as he sits and waits for you to take off his leash. As soon as it’s off he’s racing to the food bowl that is set up just outside the kitchen. You grab his food and put in just a little more than usual before leaving Milo to his breakfast. You head to the fridge and open it and stare inside for a second before just settling on eating leftovers again. You’re too lazy to make anything else and you just grab a bowl to heat them up.
You stand around and watch Milo drink for a few seconds before you realize you don’t have your phone. You decide to run upstairs and get it while your food is cooking, just in case you need it.
You go upstairs considerably slower than a run, but that’s fine as you make it upstairs without your head protesting at all. You yawn again because you really should have stayed in bed longer before you arrive to the bedroom and see your phone on the side table. You grab it and decide to lie down again before turning it on.
You wait until the home screen pops up and you are about to just check your email when you’re bombarded with over a dozen text messages and several missed call notifications. You didn’t realize how out of touch you’d been for the past few days, and you suddenly feel bad when you read through the texts from your concerned friend who had started following you in the news.
You squint slightly after writing a response and you realize why you aren’t supposed to be looking at screens. Your head starts hurting after just a few minutes so you decide that anything beyond a quick check in can wait.
Nearly five minutes later you are done and heading back downstairs for breakfast when your phone beeps. You stop in the middle of the stairs to check it and you see that it’s Billie.
Don’t forget to take your meds. I left them in the bathroom so Milo wouldn’t get them.
You sigh as you groan at your forgetfulness before starting back upstairs. You find them quickly and take them before returning to the kitchen. You reheat your food before moving to the living room. You respond to Billie with a thank you before you start eating. It’s not until you’re halfway done and find yourself looking at the television that you realize you don’t know what channel Billie is going to be on.
You quickly text her back asking this before lying back on the couch with a sigh. You have nearly two hours to kill before Billie’s interview and you’re not sure what you’re going to do with your time.
Billie was sitting in her dressing room just waiting to be called out. She was smoking her first cigarette in what felt like days as she scrolls through her phone absentmindedly. She’d considered texting you again, but she thought better of it. She knew that you weren’t supposed to be on your phone, so she was just killing time in the only way she knew how to at the moment.
She took another drag as she read yet another article about your hospital visit. She didn’t get nearly as far into this one as the others because they were all the same at this point. No one knew anything, and they all used the same damn picture. Luckily, no one had followed them home to get another one, but Billie was getting sick of seeing you on a stretcher in front of your clinic.
She had already decided that she wasn’t going to disclose much about that night. She wanted to protect you from the media as much as she could, but sometimes it felt like she was fighting a losing battle. As Billie scrolls past yet another article about you, she finds her mind drifting to your ex.
Billie had seen a glimpse of the effect she’d had on you last night. When you talked about her, your entire demeanor changed. You grew more reserved, more anxious and Billie hated to see you retreat back into your shell. You’d been growing more confident and relaxed with her, and she loved that you asked her for things that you wanted.
Like last night. She was thrilled that you’d asked to come stay with her. She was glad that you had been feeling better last night and this morning, but she knew that you couldn’t rush things. You had the rest of the week off from work, and Billie intended to make sure that you did as little as possible until then.
Billie puts out her cigarette when there’s a knock on the door. She sighs as she turns to see that one of the crew members is standing in the hall looking far too stressed for so early in the morning.
“Ms. Howard. We’re ready for you.”
You’re practically running down the stairs when it’s close to 9 o’clock. You had gotten distracted by the kittens and you had spent way too much time with them. They were all looking so good. You were tempted to let them roam around with Bit, but you had an interview to watch, and a big dog who had proven to like kittens. You let Bit out though because Billie said that you could, and you and Bit head downstairs to the living room. Bit runs off somewhere and Milo perks up slightly before just turning to you as you jump onto the couch. You find the remote before turning on the television with a sigh.
You are about to change the channel to Billie’s interview, but you don’t get a chance before you hear Milo bark. You cringe at the sound before turning to see him with his paws up on the window looking into the backyard. You frown before standing up to get him down before he breaks something. Milo continues barking and you grab him by the harness before glancing outside. You frown as you look around, not noticing anything at first, but then you see something in the yard that doesn’t belong there.
You open the back door, leaving Milo inside for a second as you go investigate. You can’t tell what it is immediately, but as you get closer to it you realize it’s a box. Your first thought is food because your mind is always on food, but then you realize it’s a box of cigarettes. You stare at them for a moment before shaking your head with a sigh. You bend down to pick them up before remembering that you’re late.
You hurry back inside, locking the door behind you before leading Milo to the couch. You sit down quickly and change the channel before cursing when you realize the interview has already started.
“-this season?”
You just sit back and listen to Billie talk about her show for the next few minutes. You don’t realize it immediately, but you have the dopiest smile on your face as you watch Billie talk animatedly about her work. You’re so excited for her, and you’re looking forward to watching her show with her. Sure, you’re behind a couple of seasons, but that doesn’t matter. You were determined to not fall asleep on her, for once.
Billie talks a little bit about how shooting had gone, and she mentions names of people that you don’t know. You make a note to ask about them at some point before your phone vibrates next to you. You’re tempted to ignore it though because you can barely turn away from Billie. She looks stunning in the blue dress she’s wearing, and it’s definitely a step up from the sweats she’d had on this morning. Not that you didn’t appreciate those too.
You eventually look to your phone because the interviewer is asking Billie about past seasons and how this one differs and you really can’t focus on that. Your head is hurting a little and you open your phone to see an angry text from your friend. Whoops.
Apparently, you weren’t allowed to drop off the face of the Earth after getting a concussion.
You text her for a couple of minutes before a question the interviewer, Wendy asks catches your attention.
“Now I have to ask since I’ve been hearing about it for a while now. You’re seeing someone, is that right?”
You look to the screen as Billie smiles genuinely before nodding in answer. You focus on how her hair bounces with the movement before you realize what she’s saying.
“Yes, we’ve been seeing each other for about a month. Since I took my cats to her.”
You listen as Billie tells the story you’ve lived, about how the two of you met. You thought back to that day with a smile before returning your attention to the television. You squeeze your eyes shut for a minute before trying to look to the screen again. Your head is hurting so you decide to lie down before it gets any worse. You close your eyes and just listen to what Billie says next in response to what you’ve been dreading most.
“I heard about Y/N’s accident at work. I hope everything is okay.”
Billie’s smile fades slightly as she thinks about the incident that put you in the hospital. She sighs as she nods before mentioning your fall.
“She’s doing better, but she’s still taking it easy. At least she’s supposed to.”
Billie smiles as she says this and you roll your eyes at what she’s insinuating. You are doing exactly what you’re supposed to. Sure, you might be peeking a little from where you’re lying on your back, but only a little. Only when Billie talks.
“Does that mean she’s not watching now?”
Billie just shrugs at this and you watch as she glances out to the audience. You really wish that you could have been there. You sigh as you listen to Billie say that you probably are before you reach out for Milo.
“Come here boy.”
Milo had just been sitting by alternating between watching you and the television. He hurries up to you and puts his head in your face so he was practically licking you. You groan before pushing him back and scratching him behind the ears with a sigh.
“You’re such a good boy.”
You watch as Milo turns away from you and sniffs the cigarettes that you forgot you just left on the couch next to you in your hurry. You move them away before sitting up with a groan. You grab a pillow and bury your face in it until you hear your name again.
“Y/N is doing her best to ignore it, but sometimes—the more persistent ones get to her.”
“Like those who sneak into backyards?”
You watch as Billie frowns at the thought of the reporter that you’d run into two too many times. You scowl as Billie just shakes her head before responding.
“Exactly.”
Wendy was smiling as she shot Billie a look that you didn’t particularly like. You just wait for Billie to respond to the question you know she’s been agonizing over for a while.
“From what I’ve been told he definitely interrupted something.”
Billie merely smirks at the thought before shaking her head. She, Michelle, and Jeff had all discussed how she’d answer this and they had decided that she should be the one to bring it up first. Tell the truth, but don’t give too many details.
“Actually Y/N’s dog, Milo is to blame for that. He’s very protective of her and misread what was happening.”
You nearly sigh as Billie says this because you’re so glad that you aren’t having to answer these questions. You had been put on the spot and well, the first time it had happened to you, you’d barely been coherent. You knew that Billie could do a better job of explaining everything, and you were grateful that you both had talked about what she was going to say.
You had told Billie that you didn’t care what she said. You’d been fresh out of the hospital and a little too tired to be sincere, but after you’d slept a little more the two of you had a serious conversation. You were only a little worried about people knowing too much about you. You figured that some things were public record and could be figured out easily enough, so you didn’t care much about that. The only thing you really had been concerned about was the topic that Billie was discussing now.
She was doing exactly what’s she’d promised and you couldn’t be more appreciative.
“I guess you haven’t earned his approval yet?”
Billie just smiles as you roll your eyes at the thought. Milo loves Billie and is honestly wagging his tail just from watching her on TV. He comes up to jump next to you on the couch and you sigh before deciding that it’s fine, if he sits on your lap. You pat your lap and your 70lbs dog eagerly scrambles on top of you before turning back to the television.
You already feel his weight and you know this won’t last long, but you like watching as Milo stares at the television.
“Not quite.”
You sigh at the lie before your phone vibrates again. You shoot it a look but it’s just out of reach so you leave it be for now. The interview is finishing up and you breathe out a sigh of relief before frowning in confusion. What time was it? That seemed to fly by. It was just before 9:30, but it felt like it had only been a few minutes since you sat down. You push Milo off of you with a groan before standing up to stretch. You grab your phone to send Billie a text before you look to your friend’s message. You wander into the kitchen and refill Milo’s water bowl. As he takes a drink you look out the window at the backyard. You look at the garden for a minute trying to figure out what is different.
Billie had showed you pictures of her garden, and you’d seen it when you walked Milo, but you could tell that something was off. You leave Milo inside as you go out and investigate, and you hurry over to the garden to take a better look.
The flowers on the right look about the same as when you’d seen them last. There were a lot of vegetables next to these that made you hungry, but then you saw the lettuce on the left and frowned.
“What the...?”
You kneel down to get a closer look, and your frown deepens as you confirm that the lettuce was squished. The head was crushed and torn by what looked like a big footprint. Who would be walking back here other than Billie? You blame your concussion on the fact that you don’t realize it immediately, but once you remember what you’d found earlier you manage to connect the dots.
The cigarettes.
You never really got a good look at Billie’s cigarettes. She always kept them in a case so you couldn’t tell what kind they were. That didn’t matter much because you doubt that Billie would leave them in the yard, on purpose or otherwise. As you wander back inside and meet Milo at the door you remember how he’d barked too. He doesn’t usually bark unless he has a reason. Aka if he wants your attention or if he’s trying to tell you something.
This thought makes you stiffen before you head toward the front door. You make sure to lock the back door behind you though because suddenly you’re on edge. You stop at the front door, deciding not to open it, and you go to the next room over to look out the window. You don’t see anyone or any cars on the street, so you relax a little, but you still don’t let your guard down.
Had someone been watching you?
Billie is on her way home from the studio when you text her again. She hadn’t stuck around long after the interview because she wanted to get home to check on you. She of course had to stay for a while to talk to the host, but she didn’t linger for long. Although the interview had gone pretty well in her opinion, that didn’t mean that Wendy wouldn’t try to ask more invasive questions behind the scenes. Billie had answered all that she wanted to about you and she really just wanted to get home.
Billie responded to your first text about ‘killing it’ before she started the drive home. It was almost half an hour without traffic, so Billie was lucky to be home in only 40 minutes. Once she’s home, she closes the car door behind her and hurries inside. She is as quiet as possible as she opens the door in case you are sleeping, but she realizes that it doesn’t matter. You hear her anyway and are quick to greet her.
“Billie, you’re back already?”
The medium turns around from shutting the door just in time to catch you as you run into her. You wrap your arms around her tightly as you pull her in for a hug and Billie is a little caught off guard by your enthusiasm. It seems that you’re feeling better. She hugs you back before nodding and pulling away to pay attention to Milo too. He’s pawing at her and whining as you and Billie embrace. After a quick scratch behind the ears, Milo is placated and just sits and watches the two of you to see if you do anything interesting.
“Traffic wasn’t bad. Are you feeling alright?”
Billie smiles as she asks this because she can definitely tell that you are, and she loves to see it. She loves the smile she receives in response as you just nod enthusiastically and talk about how you’d been since she left. You two make your way to the kitchen for a drink as you ramble excitedly.
“Yes! Much better thanks. I had to lie down and just listen for the last half of the interview, but I loved it. You did so well! I know I don’t know much about all of that, but I think you did great. Also, you definitely looked TV ready. You looked--.”
You trail off as you take a second to look at the medium who really does look amazing. You love this dress on her. You look to Billie’s hair again before you stifle the urge to smile wider and reach out and touch. You completely forgot what you were saying and you watch Billie pour herself a drink before smiling at you. She asks if you want one, but you just shake your head in response.
“You know enough dear, thank you. Your opinion means more than anyone else’s.”
You roll your eyes at Billie’s words before you change your mind and grab Billie’s drink before she can. Billie shoots you a look and you shoot it back before you just smile and hand it to her. You’re not in the mood to be too bratty right now.
“Did you get my text?”
Billie hesitates as she thinks about this before nodding. She had been driving and forgot about it, and she says this with an apologetic look that you just wave off. You leave the kitchen and wander over to the living room where you left the box of cigarettes. You grab them before holding them up for Billie to see. You return to the kitchen and glance outside as you explain what had happened while Billie was gone.
“It’s okay. I was just asking about these? I found them outside, and it also looks like someone stepped on your lettuce. Sorry.”
Billie frowns as she looks to the box of cigarettes that definitely doesn’t belong to her. She holds out her hand and you give them to her, watching as she inspects the box. It was fairly new and must have been left there recently. Today probably given how often you two went out there with Milo.
“How did you say you found them?”
Mason scowled as he returned to his office empty-handed yet again. Ever since he had been lucky enough to get the shots of you and Billie last week, he had been working hard to prove his worth. He had been following you and Billie constantly, but he hadn’t been able to get more than a few shots of either of you.
He had been at the clinic when you passed out, and he’d followed you to the hospital. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been able to get anything there since security wouldn’t let him in, and he wouldn’t have been able to get into the emergency room anyway.
He hadn’t seen Billie again until she started walking your dog. Mason wouldn’t admit it, but he wasn’t brave enough to confront Billie when she was with Milo. He didn’t want to get attacked again and he just watched as the medium walked him through the neighborhood. It wasn’t until a couple of days later that you joined her.
As cute as this domestic crap was, he couldn’t really use any of it. No one would really care about it, and he would be laughed at by his peers and criticized by his boss. No, he needed something else, but he just wasn’t sure how to get it.
He was still looking into your accident, but he couldn’t figure out much. You hadn’t said anything, and Billie hadn’t said anything helpful during her interview today. After failing to get anything useful from you, he’d hidden and waited until Billie got back from her interview. He literally had nothing but you and Billie walking your dog, the dog that had caught him in the backyard just seconds after he got there.
He just hoped that his contact at your apartment panned out, or else he would have nothing.
Billie had two more interviews this week, specifically on Friday. You hadn’t remembered about them immediately despite her telling you, and you felt guilty about it. She tried to reassure you that it wasn’t a big deal though. You were recovering, but you were still pouting as Billie looked at some of the materials Michelle had sent over.
“Do you need to work for the rest of the day?”
You’re lying on the couch looking through your phone when Billie looks over to you. She’d been a little more lenient because you were feeling better, but Billie was still wary of you spending too much time reading. Still, she knew you were probably working so she left it alone for now.
“I shouldn’t no. Maybe another hour or so. Why? Did you have something else in mind?”
You laugh at Billie’s tone before rolling your eyes at her suggestion. You knew she was partially kidding, but your mind wandered to what else you two could do other than what you’d originally planned on. You put your phone down because you’ve done all you’re going to at the moment. You had emailed your boss yesterday and confirmed that you could work on Monday. Since then, you’d been scanning through the few emails you’d gotten since Sunday.
For once, you were glad that news traveled fast because it meant fewer emails for you to go through. You looked at the time and did a little math before deciding to go for it. The worst Billie could say was no.
“Well, if you have time, I was thinking that maybe we can go to my place later to grab some of my things? Not that I don’t love wearing your clothes.”
Billie actually laughs at this before she really thinks about your question. She had invited you here for an unspecified amount of time, but if you really were going to stay until you had to work you raised a good point. Billie was running out of clothes to give you. She sighs before realizing that she was getting a little ahead of herself. She should check and see what your intentions were before making plans with you.
“Did you want to stay here for the rest of the week? I know Dr. Skinner said at least that long.”
Billie wanted to say more. She wanted to tell you that you were welcome to stay here, but she didn’t want to pressure you. Despite her earlier comment she wanted you to be comfortable and recover as fast as possible. She didn’t want to mess that up in any way.
You nod before groaning as you sit up and run a hand through your hair. You definitely wouldn’t mind staying with Billie, but you don’t want to overstay your welcome. You loved being around the medium, but if she was going to be working for the next couple of days, you didn’t want to be in the way.
“I won’t annoy you with my presence? Or Milo’s for that matter?”
Billie simply smiles before shaking her head. She would want nothing more than for you to stay here with her. She had planned on spending this week with you, and selfishly she was glad that it was here so she didn’t have to worry about the kittens. She knew you probably weren’t as comfortable here, but she was hoping that over the next couple of days she could change that.
“Of course not, Y/N. I would love if you two stayed here.”
You smile gratefully before nodding to yourself. You were blushing slightly but you shake it off as you open your mouth to ask again, but Billie beats you to it.
“How about I finish this up and then we go? Does that work?”
You agree to this and you let Billie get back to what she was doing as you start to make a list. You don’t want to forget anything, but as you get started you realize that you’ve forgotten something major.
“My car!”
Billie turns to see you staring wide-eyed at your phone before you look up at her. She doesn’t get a chance to ask what you’re talking about before you shake your head.
“I forgot about my car! Is it still at work? Wait, of course it is.”
You scold yourself for being so dumb before you sigh and try to figure out how you’ll get it back. You don’t realize how far down the rabbit hole you’ve gone trying to figure this out until Billie speaks up and clues you in on something that she and Erin had briefly discussed when they were arranging for Milo to be dropped off.
“Y/N. I talked to Erin and she said that she could bring it over, or it could stay there until you work again.”
You nod in thought because although you’re not supposed to be driving for at least a week, you don’t like the idea of your car just sitting in the clinic parking lot. Either way, there’s not much that can be done about it now, so you just let it go for the time being. You are just glad that you will be able to go to your apartment soon.
While Billie finishes up working, you check on the cats and take Milo into the backyard for some time outside. He is eager to sniff around and even tries to eat some of the vegetables before you redirect his attention. The two of you just sit on the deck, Milo on his back so he can get belly scratches as you take time to just relax and be outside. You want to go on a walk, but you’re too lazy and don’t want to risk a headache before you go to your place. You plan on bringing Milo because you don’t want him left alone at Billie’s house with the cats.
You have another reason for wanting to bring Milo with you though. You didn’t think you’d run into trouble, but you haven’t been there since leaving for work Sunday. You were only a little freaked out about the idea of going back and running into Doug again. You hadn’t really considered it much because you didn’t want to for all the reasons you’d given Billie, but now?
If you weren’t going to report him to the police, you at least were going to do a better job of ignoring him. Or being more alert when he was around.
Milo yawns before rolling onto his stomach and shaking fur and dirt everywhere. You groan in annoyance as you close your eyes and wipe the dirt off your face. You look at the time and decide that you should eat more before you go. You’re also just a little anxious about going back and eating a little might help you with your nerves. You lead Milo back inside, making sure his feet weren’t muddy before heading for the kitchen. You stop a couple steps in though when you don’t hear Billie on the phone, and you head her way to see what she’s up to.
“Hey. How’s it going?”
Billie looks up just in time to meet you for a quick kiss before sighing in response. You move to lean against the chair across from her as Billie takes one last look at her computer.
“I’m almost done. Are you ready to go?”
You’re surprised by this and your eyes widen as you hurry to speak. You shake your head before standing up straight again.
“Oh yeah, but I wasn’t rushing you. Just being nosy.”
Billie only smiles before shaking her head and mentioning that she was done anyway. She had tomorrow to work on this and she wasn’t as worried now that she had an interview under her belt. The first one was always the worst. At least that’s how it was supposed to go.
“You’re not, Y/N. You can ask anything. You know that.”
You blush slightly but nod in understanding as Billie shuts her computer and stands up with a sigh. You smile as she looks to her clothes, probably deciding on whether or not she should change before she looks back to you. Her smile changes to one that’s softer as she comes to stand by you. She reaches out for the hoodie that you had forgotten you’d put on this morning.
“This looks good on you, sweetheart. I thought you didn’t like wearing my clothes?”
Billie’s teasing has the desired effect and she watches as you laugh to cover your slight blush. You are getting used to Billie teasing you, but despite this, you know Billie likes to see you blush. You shake your head finally before following Billie as she heads to the kitchen to grab her things.
“I never said that. I just—you know, miss my jeans.”
You honestly just said the first piece of clothing that would come to mind. You don’t really miss much in particular, but if you had to pick something you would have said your sweatpants. You’d wear them all day everyday if you could.
Your thoughts are cut off as Billie just chuckles as she grabs her keys and her phone before turning toward the front door.
“I miss your jeans too, dear.”
You stop short of waving Milo over to you when Billie says this. You rack your brain for a time where Billie has actually seen you wear any. You frown and go to say this, but Billie cuts you off with another laugh. She opens the door for you, waiting as you get Milo ready to go.
“Wait…you haven’t even...?”
“You’re right. I haven’t, but maybe we can change that?”
You hurry through the front door so Billie doesn’t see you blushing, and she just follows you smirking the entire way to the car.
When the three of you arrive to your apartment building you have to resist the urge to run inside. There are a lot of people here, like usual, but you suddenly feel overwhelmed. You keep Milo close to you despite his excited attempts to run ahead of you, and you grab Billie’s hand without thinking. You go to pull it away because you didn’t ask, but Billie just holds yours tighter before following you into the building.
You head over to the elevator, not making eye contact with anyone as you press the button a little too hard. Billie frowns at this but she doesn’t say anything until you’re in the elevator with Milo practically running circles around you, he’s so excited. You’re too agitated to tell him to calm down and you just sigh as Billie squeezes your hand tighter.
“Are you alright, Y/N? You’re tense.”
You bite your lip as you think about whether or not you want to tell Billie what’s going on in your head. You just sigh before nodding and watching as you reach the second floor.
“A little bit. I just didn’t think coming here would be so…nerve-wracking. It’s stupid.”
Billie’s about to tell you that it’s not stupid at all, but the door opens on the third floor and you and Milo step aside to let whoever it is on. It’s a kid, maybe 10 years old who’s wearing his swimsuit. He looks vaguely familiar to you and you just smile as Milo’s tail starts smacking against the wall. You don’t notice immediately because you’re staring at the number 3 displayed on the wall waiting until you can get out, but Billie notices the amazed, baffled look on the boy’s face. The brunette is staring at Billie and she just smiles before reaching out to pet Milo.
The elevator finally dings as it arrives to your floor and you sigh in relief as the door opens. You hold Milo back as he tries to run out, and he whines as you shoot him a look.
“Milo stop it. Wait.”
You wait for the little boy to go first and then Billie before you walk out. You miss the small wave that Billie gives the boy who’s still staring at her in awe as you make your way down the hall. You grab your keys from your pocket and sigh when the lock clicks. The door swings open and you let Milo go and run to where ever he wants before looking around for Billie. She’s trailing behind and you realize that you’d been a little inattentive so you shoot her a smile.
“Sorry, Billie. Come on in.”
Billie did and you were quick to shut the door behind her and lock it. You are about to run to your room and start getting things together when you see Billie wander toward the kitchen. It reminds you that you’re still too tense to be your usual self and you sigh as you follow Billie into the kitchen.
“If you can find anything that you want, it’s yours. I haven’t gone shopping since…last week?”
Billie just smiles as she shakes her head at you. She had been heading over to Milo’s food and treats because she figured you needed them. She was going to try and collect it for you to take back to her house. You smile as Billie says this and you try to figure out what would be best. You stored it in a bin too big to lug around so you hurry to find a container that will carry enough to last the week.
“Do you have any bags, or...?”
Billie trails off as you shake your head and pull out a Tupperware container. You know that Milo will not hesitate to eat through the bag to get to his food and you don’t want him to poop out plastic again.
“Uh, here put it in this. It’s safer from him this way.”
Billie just nods before she opens Milo’s food and starts scooping it into the container.
“I’ll handle this. Go get your jeans.”
You laugh at this before getting on your tiptoes to kiss Billie in thanks. You pull away with a smile before turning and leaving the kitchen.
“Thanks, Billie.”
You pass Milo who is rolling around on the carpet in the living room on your way upstairs. You pull your phone out to look at your list before you go to your closet to grab your bag. You hurry because you need to get back to Billie’s house sooner rather than later. You’d left the cats alone which should be fine at this point, but they still needed to be checked on periodically. For this reason, you start stripping as you reach into your closet for a change of clothes. Despite it being warm out you pull on a pair of jeans, before wandering around aimlessly looking for the next item on your list. You haven’t decided what shirt you wanted yet and you’re still walking around half dressed when Billie finishes up in the kitchen.
She’s packed Milo’s food and some treats, but there wasn’t anything else that he really needed. So she wanders around a little before deciding to head upstairs and see if you needed help. She hadn’t expected you to be mostly done already, or to only be half-dressed when she showed up.
Billie knocks on the door frame since the door was open and you jump before turning around as you zip up your bag. You have everything you need but a damn shirt. You smile slightly as you wave Billie into the room. You turn back toward your dresser to grab a t-shirt. You’re going to be in the Billie’s house for the rest of the day. It’s not like it really matters what you wear.
“Come on in. I’m almost done.”
Billie smiles as she walks into the room and looks around for a moment. She’s never been in it before, but it was almost exactly what she expected. It was very clean and the bed had some of Milo’s fur on it.
“You ready, sweetheart?”
You smile and nod as you pull your shirt over your head and run to grab your phone off the bed. You check the list one last time before making sure that you have your charger and your computer too. You probably won’t use it much, but you want it just in case. You don’t want to have to use Billie’s when she’s so busy.
“Yeah, sorry. I just needed to decide what to wear.”
Billie frowns slightly at your apology before shaking her head. She isn’t sure why you feel the need to apologize so much when you’ve done nothing wrong. She walks towards you and reaches out to straighten your hair with a smile.
“You don’t need to apologize, Y/N, but I like your decision.”
You smile a little before nodding to yourself. You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t do anything, but it was just a habit. It left your mouth sometimes before you even realized it. You let Billie play with your hair for a few seconds before you respond with a sigh.
“You’re right. Are you ready to go?”
You and Billie are back in the elevator with Milo a few minutes later. You’ve got your bag and Milo while Billie’s holding the bag with Milo’s food. You make it to the lobby without any trouble, but as you’re passing the front desk you remember that you haven’t checked your mail in a while. You sigh as you look to Billie who has noticed that you stopped and you shoot her a questioning look.
“I forgot to check my mail. Can meet you at the car?”
Billie just nods before she reaches out for Milo to take him with her. Instead, you give her your bag and hope that she doesn’t question it. She just adjusts what she’s holding to take your bag and you smile gratefully before turning toward the mailboxes. You’ll make this as quick as possible.
“I’ll be right there. Thank you.”
Billie just nods and heads outside as you hurry to check your mail. You grab your keys from your pocket checking to make sure Milo is sitting out of the way before opening it and checking to see what you have. You keep the couple of bills that you see, but put everything else back in the box for now. You’ll worry about it later.
You’re leaving the room and heading back toward the front doors when you spot someone that looks like Doug at the end of the hall. You don’t even bother to confirm that it’s him before you practically run outside. You feel your head swim, but you ignore it as you take a second to slow down once you’re outside to let Milo pee. You sigh before walking to where Billie’s parked and already waiting with the car running. You put Milo in the back seat, looking for his buckle before you remember it’s in your car. You’re frazzled and you’re afraid it shows when you get into the front seat next to Billie with a heavy sigh.
“Sorry about that, I’m ready now.”
Billie just shakes her head before shooting you a look that you don’t notice. You’re looking out the front of the car, specifically at your apartment building.
“What did I say about apologizing, Y/N?”
You sigh before cringing at your mistake as you try to calm down. You need to relax. It’s not like he’s going to attack you in broad daylight. You weren’t even sure it was him.
“So—Right. Thank you for helping me, Billie.”
Billie spends most of the drive home wondering what had happened. She had realized pretty quickly that you were anxious about going back to your apartment. She wasn’t exactly sure why until you wanted to keep Milo with you to check the mail. It seemed odd and as she was sitting in the car thinking about it, it hit her. She hadn’t even realized that you were worried about running into Doug again. How could she forget that this was the first time being at your apartment since it happened? She mentally kicks herself as she follows you into the house. She watches as you let Milo run free and stumble slightly as you try to take off your shoes.
“Are you alright?”
You hold back a sigh as you lean against the wall to keep yourself steady as you take off your other shoe. You turn to Billie with a frown. You had been feeling worse since you started worrying and now your head was practically pounding.
“My headache just got worse. It’s not a big deal, I just need to lie down.”
Billie frowns as she watches you head over to the couch absentmindedly dropping your bag on the way. She looks to the clock, realizing it’s too early for your next dose of medication. She still goes to get you water though before coming to sit beside you.
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
You smile at Billie before shaking your head at her. There really isn’t anything else that she could do, but you do need to sleep. You lean forward and rest your head against her shoulder and she pulls you into a hug before you close your eyes with another sigh.
“Can I just sit here with you for a second?”
Billie smiles before pulling you closer with a nod. She almost starts to run her hand through your hair, but she figures that will make your headache worse. Instead, she merely sighs and shifts slightly so you’re both leaning against the couch. Billie listens to your breathing even out as you relax against her as the minutes pass. You’re almost completely on top of Billie by the time you fall asleep only ten minutes later.
You wake up around dinner time. You’re sure of this because it’s the sound of Milo scarfing down his food that rouses you from your sleep. You groan and sit up as you look around to see Milo’s tail sticking out from behind the counter. You take a second to sit and get acclimated to being up before you risk standing. You stop short; however, when you see the glass of water and the bottles on the table in front of you. You sigh before opening them and taking your pills before heading to the kitchen.
You find Billie standing at the counter watching Milo as he demolishes his food. You only look for a moment to see how much is left before giving up. You’re sure that Billie fed him the right amount, and if not, you don’t really care. You spoil your dog all the time.
“Did he wake you?”
You shake your head despite the fact that Milo had woken you up, but you ignore this fact since you have a better excuse. You smile as you meet Billie for a hug before stifling a yawn.
“No, I was just hungry. Have you eaten yet?”
Billie shakes her head as she places a kiss on your brow before checking the clock. You’d been asleep for about two hours and Billie was going to wake you up after walking Milo. She says this and you smile appreciatively before saying that you’ll go with her. Billie doesn’t say anything in response to this, instead she changes the subject.
“Are you feeling any better?”
You nod as you mention that you are and that you’d taken your meds. You look to Milo who is now finished eating and standing at your side watching you and Billie intently.
“I am thanks. I think I just got a stress headache from worrying so much.”
You pull away from Billie slightly as you say this, but you don’t move too far before you’re speaking again. You spare Milo a glance and scratch his head with a smile.
“I guess I was a little nervous about running into Doug again. I didn’t think-.”
You pause as you try to figure out what you were going to say. You didn’t think that you wouldn’t consider what happened when you went to your apartment? That you wouldn’t be worried about seeing Doug and potentially getting hurt again? It seemed silly to say, but you had told yourself when you’d decided not to go to the police, that you’d handle it. That it would all be fine.
You suppose you haven’t really learned much since your dad died.
“Didn’t think what, Y/N?”
You didn’t realize how long you’d spaced out until Billie asks this. You turn back to her before shaking your head with an apology on the tip of your tongue. You stop short as something you haven’t heard in months comes to mind, and you hate yourself for cringing at the mere thought of her voice.
Don’t you dare apologize.
Billie feels you stiffen and move away from her, and she watches as your expression turns dark. She isn’t sure where your mind just went, but she doesn’t get a chance to ask before you’re speaking in a tone that betrays your calm demeanor.
“I didn’t really consider it, but it was fine. We didn’t see him.”
Billie didn’t get a chance to respond to this before you turn to Milo and tell him to go grab his leash. She expects you to just run off with him, but you stop after a couple of steps before sighing in defeat. You turn back to Billie before shooting her a guilty look. You don’t apologize but you do promise to talk about this later. You just need to calm down a little.
“I’ll tell you Billie, I just need a minute.”
Part 17
#american horror story#ahs#ahs fic#ahs imagine#ahs murder house#my fic#billie dean howard x reader#billie dean howard imagine#billie dean howard#a little bit
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